#if you’d been canon gay maybe you’d get the viewing numbers. I am saying

[remythologise]

would love for beloved television shows to not think we have to ‘see’ how things ‘end’ for our heroes. you don’t have to map out their life path for us you just have to wrap up themes and relationships and character arcs in a meaningful way.

[miguel-manbemel]

Aspects & Fanfics Ep. 50: Flowers for Christmas

As promised, here’s the special Christmas episode of the main storyline of this blog. And as I also promised, it features Nico Flores’ debut in the main narrative. As it happened earlier with Remus and as it will happen with any canon character introduced in this narrative, his introduction will not mimic the canon introduction at all, but it will be a totally independent story to fit what has already been told in earlier episodes. One thing I wanted to say is that this story takes place in a near future where the virus has just been defeated and the pandemic is over, that’s why there’s no longer social distancing or masks in the story. Let’s hope this future of fiction soon becomes a reality, but until then, remember to wear your mask if you need to get out and take all precautions, for your own health and the others’.

It also happens to be the 50th entry in the series since it made its debut on February 2019. I hope you’ve been liking it so far and that whatever comes in the future is also of your liking too. Fair warning that after this episode, I’m going to take a little break of a few weeks, to take a rest, at least from the main narrative, although I’ll still be hanging around somehow as usual, publishing little things here and there. So, I hope that you all have the merriest Christmas and that you have a good start of 2021. Merry Christmas and a happy new year, and until next time.

P.S. If you enter Tumblr.com through a web browser (on PC or on the phone), NOT through the app, and enter the episode through this link, you’ll find a especial interactive musical surprise alongside the narration. Sadly, it doesn’t work on standard dashboard view or on Tumblr’s phone app, but you should be able to read the text anyway.

SYNOPSIS: Thomas has a little job as an actor in a mall, for a one-off Christmas show. Just as he’s about to enter the mall in a rush, he bumps on a stranger that crossed his way just at the same time. Thomas is immediately mesmerized by the stranger’s face and immediately starts feeling something for him.

WARNINGS: Romantic prinxiety

EPISODE INDEX

[Thomas is running out of the house, rushing to the car]

THOMAS: I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!

[Thomas gets to the car. Logan rises up in front of him]

LOGAN: Okay, Mr. Figurative White Rabbit Sanders. Have you got everything?

THOMAS: Of course I do, I’ve got my credentials, I placed my costume in the car trunk last night, I programmed the address on the GPS, I’ve got everything, except that I programmed the phone 20 minutes later than I should by accident, so I’m late! Don’t make me waste more time, Logan, I gotta go!

LOGAN: Are you sure you’re not forgetting something?

THOMAS: Yes, I am.

LOGAN: Are you really, really sure?

THOMAS: [trying to open the car unsuccessfully] Yes, I am! Why doesn’t this gosh dagnabbit car open? Don’t detain me, Logan!

LOGAN: [smirking] Okay, if you’re so sure, go ahead, I’m not holding you back. What are you waiting for?

THOMAS: It’s this door, it just won’t open! I gotta go and this door won’t open, dang it!

LOGAN: Well, what do you need to open the door, Thomas?

[Thomas suddenly stops, then frowns and looks at Logan]

THOMAS: Couldn’t you just have told me I had forgotten to get the car keys instead of making me look like a doofus, Logan?

[Logan looks at Thomas with the same condescending smirk while Thomas just groans and goes back to the house to get the keys]

[intro sequence]

[Thomas parks the car next to the mall. Then he gets out, grabs his costume in a bag and closes it, then starts running to the door. Before he gets to the door, a stranger who hasn’t seen him crosses his way and Thomas can’t help bumping onto him. They both fall on the ground]

THOMAS: Aw!

STRANGER: Oh, goodness!

THOMAS: [trying to pick up his things scattered around him] I… I’m so sorry, I was in a hurry, I didn’t see you and…

[the stranger, who has stood up already offers his hand to help Thomas stand up]

STRANGER: It’s okay, I didn’t see you either, and I was also in a hurry. Let me help you.

THOMAS: Thanks, I…

[but Thomas can’t finish the sentence because when he looks at the stranger he gets stunned over the cutest face he’s ever seen in his life. It’s a Latin American guy roughly the same age as him, with dark hair, light brown skin and a goatee, a little skinnier than Thomas, wearing a blue shirt and a backpack on his back, and with big black eyes which make Thomas feel as if inevitably attracted to two black holes. He smiles at Thomas while offering his hand. Thomas just can’t react over that vision as he feels his heart pumping harder]

STRANGER: [suddenly concerned when Thomas doesn’t grab his hand] Are you okay? Did you get hurt or something?

[Thomas returns to reality and grabs the stranger’s hand, who helps him stand up]

THOMAS: I’m fine, thank you. But are you okay?

STRANGER: Oh, don’t worry, I’m fine. Let me help you with that. [pointing at Thomas’ things scattered on the ground]

THOMAS: Oh, I wouldn’t want you to get late to your appointment, Mr…

STRANGER: Mr. Flores, but you can call me Nico if you’d like.

THOMAS: [giggles] And I’m Mr. Sanders, but you can call me Thomas.

NICO: Nice to meet you, Thomas. And it’s okay. If we pick this stuff up together, we both could be on our way in no time.

THOMAS: Thank you so much.

[Thomas and Nico start picking up the things. As they’re doing so, Thomas takes a quick look at the backpack. Various pins are there, but one pin in particular grabs his attention, a pride pin. He also sees a key chain hanging from his pocket, with an image of Jack Skellington from Nightmare before Christmas. He quickly looks away when Nico stands up]

NICO: Well, I think this is all. Here you are.

[Nico gives Thomas the things he’s picked up]

THOMAS: Thank you so much, Nico.

NICO: Of course. Well, I’d love to stay here and chat with you, but I gotta go now. I hope to see you again someday. It’s was nice to meet you, Thomas, have a nice day!

THOMAS: Have a nice day, Nico, nice to meet you as well!

[Nico smiles one last time at Thomas, then he rushes inside the mall. Roman rises up next to Thomas]

ROMAN: Wasn’t that the cutest vision ever, Thomas!? And to top it all, he’s gay, so you’ve got a chance with him!

[Virgil also rises up]

VIRGIL: He was cute, indeed, but Thomas, weren’t you in a hurry?

THOMAS: [suddenly scared] Oh, dang it, I’m late!

[Thomas rushes into the mall. He tries not to run so as not to attract people’s attention, but he walks as fast as he can. Roman and Virgil follow him]

ROMAN: And judging from his key chain, he loves Nightmare before Christmas! He must be exactly the kind of guy you could get along with. You should have asked for his number, Thomas. He said he hoped to see you again, but we don’t have any means to contact him. What if you never see him again?

THOMAS: Well, that’s over and done with… I admit that guy looked really cute, and he also looks cool and kind.

ROMAN: That’s an understatement. [Roman’s theme music starts playing] When he offered you his hand, he looked like a prince sent from heaven, ready to save you from the perils upon you, and then he would let you ride with him on his horse and take you to his castle and…

VIRGIL: [snapping his fingers, music stops] Houston calling Roman, get back to planet Earth, please!

ROMAN: Sorry, I got carried away.

THOMAS: Yes, you did. But you’re right, I should have asked him for his number or something. [sighs] I probably will never see him again.

ROMAN: Well, maybe we’ll see him again around the mall today and have a second chance to talk to him. It’s Christmas time, the season of miracles, isn’t it?

VIRGIL: We’ll see. For now, you must focus, Thomas. You had a job to do, remember?

THOMAS: Yeah… When they asked for actors in that announcement, I never thought it was for this, playing one of Santa’s elves in a little Christmas musical play in the middle of the mall, with barely no time to rehearse and with the costumes sent to us by mail. I just hope that the tights don’t make me look too weird, I didn’t have time to try the costume on. Gosh, this work dynamic feels too rushed, but at least the pay was good, so I can’t really complain…

REMUS: [rising up] Wouldn’t it be nice if Nico saw you with your elf costume, Thomas? You couldn’t be sexier. A total piece of cake, if you know what I mean! [wiggles his eyebrows]

THOMAS: Remus, don’t! Besides, I would die of embarrassment if he saw me like that. Maybe it’s for the best that he left in such a hurry. Okay, there’s the scenery, and right there, there’s the office where the guy at the phone told me I had to change. And speaking about the phone… [looks at his phone] Looks that I’m not that late after all. I have just enough time to change. If I’m quick, I’ll be ready just in time. I shouldn’t have worried so much.

VIRGIL: My bad.

[Thomas goes to the office followed by Roman and Virgil, while Remus sinks down]

THOMAS: That’s odd, there’s no one here. I hoped to talk with the boss and finally meet him. We’ve never talked in person, only with his secretary on the phone after I answered the call. They sent me the outfit by UPS the day after I got the part.

ROMAN: I wonder how that boss will look like? How will we recognize them, Thomas?

THOMAS: I suppose we’ll meet them on stage, Roman. Well, I have to change now, and there’s a door that reads locker room, so it must be there. Let’s do it.

[When Thomas enters the room, he goes livid, after finding Nico just buttoning a Santa Claus costume]

THOMAS: Nico?

NICO: [equally surprised] Thomas? What are you doing here? Don’t tell me that…

THOMAS: [nervous giggle] Yeah, it seems we’re gonna be work mates, at least for today. I’m playing one of the elves. I can’t find the boss anywhere, so I figured I’d have to change in this room.

NICO: [happy smile] What a coincidence, right? Well, don’t stay there, come in. I’m almost done. Um… the boss told me the other elves are already in costume, waiting for us. So you better hurry. There’s a folding screen over there if you need some privacy.

[Thomas showed some relief over seeing the folding screen]

VIRGIL: Thank goodness, I don’t know if I could have coped with it if you had had to change in front of him.

THOMAS: Yeah, that would be neat.

[Thomas goes behind the folding screen and starts changing]

THOMAS: So, how did you get this job? Are you an actor too?

NICO: Oh, so you’re an actor? That’s neat. No, I’m not an actor, not professionally at least, although I’ve done a couple things in community theater. I… just needed the job to get some extra income, you know? I’m a writer, and sometimes, the amount of work is not high enough.

THOMAS: Oh, that’s cool! What kind of writer, if it’s not too nosy to ask?

NICO: Of course it’s not. I write anything, but my thing is poetry and songwriting. And I’m also a playwright. It’s my dream to make it big on Broadway someday with a musical of my own.

THOMAS: Oh, you’re a playwright and songwriter? Well, other than an actor, I’m also a singer. And I also dream on being on Broadway one day. Maybe you could show me some of your work someday?

NICO: You’re a singer too? My, you seem to be a man of many talents. I’d be glad to show you some of my songs. Maybe you could try one of them if you like them and are suitable for your voice? Maybe later, after the show, if you’re free?

THOMAS: Yes, I’m free. I can’t wait for it, Nico.

ROMAN: [pumped up] Thomas, have you realized… that you just got a date with him? [bopping] Oh, my goodness!

VIRGIL: Relax, Roman… Can’t believe it’s me who said that… It’s only a professional meeting, where they will discuss their opinions about each other’s art, that’s all. Wow, I sounded like Logan there… The point is Thomas shouldn’t have his hopes too high for the time being.

ROMAN: Well, you start with a professional meeting, and the next day he PROPOSES to you! Imagine… Nico Sanders… or Thomas Flores… or even better, Nico and Thomas Flores-Sanders or Sanders-Flores. [squeeing] Gosh, you’ll look so handsome in your white suit with a red necktie when Joan takes you to the altar!

THOMAS: [whispering with the lowest voice he can so Nico can’t hear him] Guys… please… would you mind? I need to get dressed and I can barely move in this small place behind the folding screen with you two around… Please, could you sink down for a moment?

ROMAN: Oh, sorry… Okay, Thomas. [sinking down] See ya later on stage.

VIRGIL: [also sinking down] I’ll try to calm him down in the Mind Palace, Thomas, but no promises. See ya.

NICO: Are you ready, Thomas?

THOMAS: I’m almost ready. My, this suit is so tight, I can barely put it on. I hope it doesn’t rip apart right on stage, that would be embarrassing.

NICO: Don’t worry, it will be fine. When they make these elf costumes they usually make them tight, I don’t know why. As if elves building toys shouldn’t prefer wearing a more comfortable and professional outfit.

THOMAS: [giggles] Yeah, you’re right… If you’re ready, Nico, you don’t need to wait for me. You can get to the stage whenever you want. It’s no use that both of us get scolded over being late, I can take it, don’t worry about me.

NICO: Nah, I’m fine. The show can’t start without us anyway… and I like being here and talking to you.

[Thomas’ face goes red and he feels his breathe stopping for a second]

THOMAS: You… you do?

NICO: Yeah, of course. You bring up good conversation and that is increasingly difficult to find these days. I enjoy your company.

THOMAS: Well… thanks, Nico. I… I enjoy your company too…

[Thomas was trying to fit his shoes in, but out of nervousness, he loses balance]

THOMAS: Oh, shoot!

[Thomas falls on the folding screen which falls down making a lot of noise]

NICO: Oh, goodness, Thomas! Are you all right!?

THOMAS: Dag nabbit, this outfit is impossible to wear! It’s too small for me!

[again, Nico offers Thomas his hand]

NICO: This is the second time I have to grab you from the floor, Thomas. Did you get hurt?

THOMAS: [standing up with Nico’s help] No, I’m fine… and I promise I’m usually not this clumsy. It’s just…

[Janus rises up]

JANUS: Don’t tell him the truth or you’ll blew it up!

THOMAS: … it’s just that I’m nervous over the performance, and scared that I’m not gonna wear this outfit as I should.

JANUS: Nice recovery, Thomas. It’s too soon to tell Nico that the reason you’re clumsy is because you’re totally nervous over making a good impression to him because you think he’s the cutest guy you’ve ever seen in your life. You don’t want to tell him that yet, right, Thomas?

THOMAS: No…

NICO: Did you say something?

[Janus quickly sinks down]

THOMAS: [nervous] I was saying… no, I’m not gonna make this outfit work. Look at me. The elf shoes are all tiny, I can’t close the zipper on my shirt, and the beanie is too small for my head! This is all a disaster!

NICO: They obviously have sent you the wrong size for your outfit, Thomas. You can’t get out like that.

THOMAS: But I have to make it work! There are no other outfits available, are there? If I don’t get out, I’ll lose the job! Oh, why didn’t I try this outfit at home earlier? I’m such an idiot!

NICO: It’s okay, calm down, we’ll find a way to fix this… [looks at Thomas’ clothes, then at himself and suddenly shows a lively smile] And you know what? I’ve got an idea. Help me put the folding screen back up.

[Nico and Thomas place the folding screen as it was]

NICO: That’s right. Now, get back behind the folding screen and take the costume off, everything.

THOMAS: What? But…

NICO: [grabbing Thomas’ hand] Trust me, Thomas.

THOMAS: [nervous] Okay…

[Thomas gets behind the folding screen and starts taking the costume off. Nico also starts taking his Santa costume off]

NICO: When you take it off, hang it on top of the folding screen, okay?

THOMAS: Okay… Will you explain to me what are we doing?

NICO: Sure. We’re gonna switch places.

THOMAS: [nervous] What? But…

NICO: Don’t worry. Do you think with the big white beard that Santa Claus wears, they’re gonna notice the difference?

THOMAS: But the boss will notice you dressed as an elf. You don’t have any beard or garment to conceal you, and both of us will be in trouble.

NICO: Don’t worry about me, Thomas. I… know how to deal with the boss, and the most important is to make the show work, so I’m sure he would agree with this. The show must go on, isn’t that what you, actors, say on stage when difficulties arise?

THOMAS: Yep, that’s our motto.

NICO: Well, that’s my motto now. We’re gonna make it work, no matter how.

[Thomas and Nico pass each other the different garments of their costumes over the folding screen and get dressed, then Thomas gets out of the folding screen and stands in front of Nico]

THOMAS: This is much better. This is my size.

NICO: I thought so. It was a little big for me, and I intended to fill it with some stuffing to simulate Santa’s belly. You’re more muscular than me, so I knew that the costume would be just perfect for you. And I also knew that the elf costume would be just the right size for me. It’s perfect. Maybe they got the sizes mixed up with our costumes? True, we can’t put the stuffing in your costume, but who said that Santa has to be chubby? He can be perfectly portrayed by a handsome fit man like you.

[Thomas blushes]

ROMAN: [rising up, squeeing] Did he just call you a handsome fit man!? Oh, goodness, Thomas, I think he has a crush on you too!

[Thomas makes a subtly angry gesture to Roman to make him shut up. Roman sinks down, but Nico notices Thomas’ gesture and shows a face of concern]

NICO: Oh, I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. People tell me that I shouldn’t be so outgoing about my opinions, but I’m truly saying it as I think it, Thomas. I apologize again if I made you feel awkward. We’re at work after all and I shouldn’t be so unprofessional.

THOMAS: No, it’s fine, don’t worry… And… I thank you for your compliment. You’re very kind, Nico.

NICO: You’re welcome. Okay, you look great, but here’s the final touch. Your beard.

[Nico helps Thomas put the beard on]

THOMAS: Um… ho, ho, ho, am I right?

[Nico chortles]

NICO: Yep, as I thought, you look great. Okay, do you need a few minutes to take a quick look to your new lines, or…?

THOMAS: No, it’s okay. It’s a good thing that I learned all the lines they sent me by the mail, to know my cues when I was playing the elf. I know Santa’s lines by heart, and the songs are Christmas classics everybody knows. The only thing that worries me is that I didn’t have time to rehearse his part, and Santa has a big song at the end of the show, so I hope I can do it right.

NICO: None of us had any time to rehearse, unfortunately. It seems the boss wasn’t called with anticipation enough to use the stage and there was no budget to rent any office to rehearse in private or with anticipation. Corona is still very recent, you know, and there’s still some reluctance to rent spaces for activities like this. But don’t worry, you can do this, Thomas, and if we can’t make it perfect, at least we’ll do our best, won’t we? Well, you’re ready and I’m ready too. Let’s go. They’ll probably wonder where we are at this point.

THOMAS: I just hope that we don’t get in any trouble with the boss over being late and over the swapping of roles.

NICO: There won’t be any trouble, Thomas, you’ll see.

THOMAS: How can you be so sure, Nico?

NICO: You’ll see…

[Thomas and Nico get out of the office and head to the scenery. A group of people dressed as elves and other characters, who were having a drink in a nearby cafeteria, finish their drinks when they see them and get to the scenery too. One of the elves approaches Nico]

ELF: Um… Mr. Flores, what does this mean? Weren’t you playing Santa Claus? And who’s playing him in your place?

NICO: It’s okay, Cynthia, there was a problem of costumes and we swapped places. It will be fine, he learned all the lines too, right, Thomas?

THOMAS: Right, I’ll do my best.

ELF: Okay, Mr. Flores. You’re the boss, after all…

[The elf goes to the scenery with the other elves, while Thomas looks at Nico with a face of surprise]

THOMAS: Wait, what? What did they mean by that?

NICO: [nervously] Sorry I lied to you, Thomas… The truth is… that I am the boss of this show, I wrote and produced it.

THOMAS: And you were gonna star in it too, like Orson Wells, right? Why didn’t you just tell me? Have you just been… playing with me? Making fun of me? I feel like a fool…

NICO: [really concerned] Goodness, I’m terribly sorry, Thomas, I didn’t mean to make you feel like that! It’s just that… [noticing the other elves are staring at them, waiting for them to start rehearsing] Well, there’s no time to tell you right now, so I’ll talk to you after the show. Now we must focus, but please, promise me you’ll give your best and that you’ll give me a chance to explain myself after the show. Promise?

THOMAS: I always do my best onstage… Mr. Flores, you didn’t even need to ask me for that. I’m a professional.

NICO: [begging face] But will you stay for a while after the show? ¿Por favor?

THOMAS: [sighs] Okay, I will… Let’s get the show on now.

NICO: Thank you, Thomas.

[everyone gets on stage and do some rehearsals. Although clumsy at times, the rehearsal goes fine. Then, the mall starts getting filled with an audience waiting to see the show]

THOMAS: Wow, I didn’t expect there would be so many people to watch our show…

NICO: Just do it like you did it in the rehearsals, and you’ll wow everyone. Break a leg, Thomas!

THOMAS: Thank you, Nico… I mean, Mr. Flores.

NICO: Please, you can still call me Nico. It truly would mean the world if you did.

THOMAS: Okay… as you wish… Nico. Okay, the show is about to start.

NICO: Everybody on your marks!

[the cue music starts. The elves dance around Santa Claus and sing different classic Christmas songs and do some dialogue about how busy they are making the toys for Santa. Then, at the end, Thomas as Santa, sings]

Merry Christmas by Thomas Sanders

THOMAS: O holy night! The stars are brightly shining, It is the night of our dear Saviour's birth. Long lay the world in sin and error pining, Till He appear'd and the soul felt its worth. A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices! O night divine, O night when Christ was born; O night divine, O night, O night Divine.

[after finishing the song, the audience cheers and applauds. Everyone on stage takes a bow, then the audience leaves the place. Most of the cast leave the stage but Thomas and Nico stand there]

NICO: Thomas, you were great! You told me you were a singer, but I didn’t expect you to be that good!

THOMAS: [taking off his beard] Well, thank you so much, Nico. I’m surprised myself, I didn’t expect that, with so little time of rehearsal, I could do it like that.

NICO: You have a natural talent, I’m telling you.

THOMAS: Well, thanks again… Now, you wanted me to stay after the show. What did you want to tell me?

NICO: Yes… well… First of all, I apologize again for hiding that I was your boss all the time. I swear I didn’t mean to play with you or to make fun of you. It’s just that… I didn’t feel strong enough to tell you.

THOMAS: But why? I don’t understand.

NICO: Well, we were having such a good conversation, like two casual pals enjoying each other’s company… I didn’t want any sort of hierarchy to ruin the mood, or that you couldn’t be casual with me because of that.

THOMAS: You still could have told me. There was no reason to hide it at all. I wouldn’t have changed my behavior for that. You can be respectful while maintaining a casual attitude.

NICO: Yes, but… I didn’t want you to treat me “respectfully” as you put it. I didn’t want any kind of hinders in our talk, because I felt that that kind of hindrance… eventually wouldn’t have let me do what I increasingly wanted to do the more I talked to you.

[Roman and Virgil rise up behind Thomas, listening to Nico]

THOMAS: What do you mean?

[Nico starts blushing]

NICO: Well… if I had to behave like a boss or a cold manager all of the time… there are certain limits one must not surpass. Because when a dynamic of power like this is established, some interactions could be seen as an abuse of power, and I didn’t want you to feel like that at all. I wanted us both to be completely free to interact so that, eventually, if I had the guts… I could tell you… [hesitates, really nervous, before speaking] … that I think you’re really cute.

[Nico looks away, ashamed. Thomas blushes, while Roman is ajar and speechless, and Virgil’s eyeshadow suddenly turns bright and glittery purple]

NICO: I’m sorry if I’m making you feel awkward, and I know this is really unprofessional, but I had to say it because our work is done, so I’m not your boss anymore, and I don’t know if I’ll ever have another chance to say it or even if I’ll ever see you again. And I really needed to let it out.

[Thomas holds Nico’s hand]

THOMAS: Wanna know something? The truth is… I really like you too.

NICO: You do?

THOMAS: Yeah. From the moment you offered me your hand when we crashed on the front door of the mall… when I saw your face, that cute face of yours, it was as if I had been struck by a thunderbolt. You should have noticed, how nervous and clumsy I was while we were talking. You may have thought it was because of all of the costume failure. In part it was, of course, but mostly it was because… we both were there, all alone, talking so casually, and I liked you more and more by the minute, and I was so afraid to mess everything up and that you thought I was a fool or something. That’s something that happens to me a lot, that I don’t take my chances when I see them, and I really wanted to take this chance and get to know you, and hope that you liked me.

[Thomas and Nico look at each other, almost like mesmerized by each other’s glance. Then Nico notices there’s a mistletoe hanging above them, as part of the decoration set, and chortles]

NICO: Do you believe in destiny, Thomas?

THOMAS: Why?

NICO: Well, first, we crash at the door, then I order the wrong size for our outfits and they happen to be perfect for each other, then you being an actor and singer and me being a playwright and songwriter… and now look above you.

THOMAS: [looking up, he smiles] A mistletoe.

NICO: I know it’s a fake mistletoe made of plastic and paper, a simple prop, and that it really doesn’t count, but still, it’s very funny that I noticed we were standing right under it, just when I wanted so badly to do this…

[Nico kisses Thomas, taking him by surprise as he was still looking at the mistletoe. After a couple of seconds of surprise, Thomas starts kissing him back and hugging him. At that time, Roman and Virgil start squealing, jumping and dancing with each other. Virgil’s eyeshadow shines so much that it leaves a trace of sparkling glitter in the air as he’s bopping and dancing and spinning with Roman. Then Roman, out of pure happiness, holds Virgil and kisses him. After a moment, Nico releases Thomas, who can’t help showing a silly smile]

THOMAS: Wow… I… you… don’t you think we’re going too fast? We barely have just met and…

NICO: [a little scared] Oh, sorry, perhaps I shouldn’t have done that. You’re right, we have just met and perhaps I shouldn’t have…

[Thomas puts a finger on Nico’s mouth to silence him]

THOMAS: Don’t you dare apologizing for this, Nico. Do you have any idea of how happy you have made me feel right now? I… I thought I’d never experience this feeling again, and thinking honestly, I don’t care if it feels rushed or not. When you know, you know, right? And, rushed or not, I can recognize this feeling without any doubt: I love you, Nico. And even if it doesn’t work in the end, I’ll never regret giving this a chance from minute one, like we’re doing. Don’t you agree?

NICO: [smiling] Yes… yes I do, Thomas. And I love you too.

[Thomas and Nico share another kiss while on the mall the song “All I Want for Christmas is You” is heard through all the speakers]

[ending card]

[Thomas returns back home, he couldn’t be happier. Roman rises up right after he gets to the living room]

ROMAN: Congratulations, Thomas! That was a score in every way!

THOMAS: I can’t believe it! I thought this day would never come, and now…!

ROMAN: And he’s so cute, Thomas! SO cute!

VIRGIL: [rising up, his eyeshadow is still bright purple] Honey, do I need to get jealous, or something?

ROMAN: Oh, sorry, I…

VIRGIL: [excited] I was kidding. We’re all parts of Thomas, it’s only natural that we all like Nico. Congratulations, Thomas!

THOMAS: Wow, you must really be in a good mood if you’re making jokes, Virgil.

VIRGIL: Of course I am! I’m really excited about what comes next! It’s been so long since we… since you’ve been in a relationship like this.

THOMAS: Yeah… I just hope it doesn’t end like the last one…

[Virgil looks at Thomas with a serious face and his eyeshadow suddenly turns pitch black]

VIRGIL: Thomas, don’t say that… Why should it end like the last time? Nico doesn’t look at all like your ex.

ROMAN: Yeah, he’s so cute, and handsome, and cool, and kind and talented and…

VIRGIL: Okay, okay, calm down, Roman. I can’t believe I’m the one asking people to relax… You’re right in everything, but let’s hear Thomas.

ROMAN: Sorry.

THOMAS: Well, it’s too soon to tell, of course, but even so, I’ve already got so invested in this… that I’m scared that something goes wrong and everything goes to waste… again.

VIRGIL: Thomas, it’s only natural that you have that fear after the last experience. And I’m sorry, I’m the one who’s putting that fear into you because I’m the one always worrying about you losing the people you love… because when you said you loved Nico, you really meant it right?

THOMAS: Yes. I mean… it probably is too soon to use that word… but I think it was love at first sight. I didn’t get to have this feeling with my ex until we were way into the relation, but with Nico, it’s just like his soul and mine just blended together as one, as if we were two pieces of the same soul destined from our very beginning to be together, you know? And I was convinced that only happened in romcoms and fairy tales.

ROMAN: Well, now you know better, Thomas. As an expert in romance, my advise about your worries is… just take it easy. Take each day of this relationship as it comes and let love build up slowly but surely, as if you were laying bricks to form a strong house. It is hard work, but the result is worth it, trust me. [looking at Virgil] I know it’s worth it. And don’t think too much in the future. Live the present and enjoy each minute you spend with Nico as if it was the last. Just do your best to make it work, and everything will be fine, you’ll see.

THOMAS: Thank you, Roman. Wow… What a Christmas gift that Santa has decided to give me, right? Merry Christmas, guys.

ROMAN: Merry Christmas, Thomas.

VIRGIL: And may the new year be better for all of us.

THOMAS: [to the viewers] Yep. For all of us. Merry Christmas and a happy new year to all of you, and until next time, take it easy, guys, gals and non binary pals. Peace out!

[othercat2]

Writing Update, Bunny, and Snippet(s)

So! While searching for porn I found a series called Taming Riki on Amazon, which is apparently original fan fic of Ai no Kusabi. It is not very good fan fic, and only semi okay porn. It reminded me very much of the kind of yaoi porn one used to be able to find on LJ in the early 2000s. I did end up reading it, but was very impatient with it. (Writer, have you ever actually met human beings? I wonder!)

This somehow led to reading Ai no Kusabi fan fic. Which was very odd since I was not impressed with the Ova! (I am probably not going to read the novel(s) since they apparently end in Bury Your Gays Under Piles of Rubble.) Anyway, the AnK fan fic seems to tend toward the "rewrite canon so characters survive" variety. And is often quite optimistic that the mains could have a relationship.

Bunny 1: Due to the part where Iason "Why is my surname a Mustelid, it must be because I fuck like Weasels" Mink is an android he was never actually in danger because all you need to do is down load a backup. Problem: he keeps crashing because Riki was made of meat, and he does not know how to grieve. Jupiter POV as they/it/she tries to get Iason back to operational parameters. (Ricky don't you lose my number plays ironically in the background.)

Bunny 2: Almost exactly like AnK except with Homestuck style quadrants. So much quadrant vacillation. SO MUCH.

Speaking of Homestuck, I've been working on Rebel and Conqueror! I have also been working on Pernstuck, and the next installment of The Yiling Almanac ("the young master most likely to be found disappearing into the kitchen garden") Wei Ying's love of potatoes is featured. (I need to find Ursula Vernon's rant on potatoes.) I've also managed to get some writing done on Build a Life from Scratch. However, I'm slightly frustrated because I can't segue over the GHB/Signless debate. And I hate debates.

Snippet the First: (Rebel and Conqueror)

Trolls had all kinds of mind control powers. They could terrorize you into catatonia or turn you into a puppet. It depended on the caste though. Lower castes tended to have telekinesis powers, higher up the scale started to be telepathy and fear projection. At the very top it was mostly resistance to the mind control powers (and you suspected, regeneration and other weird shit you've only heard rumors about). It probably made sense to trolls to keep you away from Vantas, if things like what happened to you happened a lot. “He’s fuchsia,” you say, and even as you say it, you know it’s a stupid thing to say. Vantas doesn’t need to have been the one to fuck with your head, with or without the pheromones. “Is there any proof he had anything done to my head? Aside from fucking with it just by being his normal asshole self?”

“No evidence was found in the initial investigation,” the Dolorosa admits.

"So he didn't do anything," you say. "So I think I should get to see him sentenced." You pause, looking down at your hands. "For closure. Since I'm not allowed to be in contact with him anymore." The Dolorosa gives you an odd look. It's part concern and part curiosity, and you realize what you said might sound like. "It isn't Stockholm Syndrome," you tell. "I don't feel dependent on him for safety or something." You just want to know what's going on with him. "And don't ask if I want to see him, because that opens the entire do you want to be his kismesis can of worms, and the answer to that is still and will always be fuck no."

The Dolorosa smiles a little at that. "That's understood," she says. "Would you want to be in contact? From what I understand that also seems to be an issue."

"So, troll doctors don't have confidentiality?"

"I think you've made it clear that it's an issue outside Doctor Coyotl's office," the Dolorosa says. "It would be hard to keep common knowledge confidential." Her tone is dry. "Wanting to see him doesn't necessarily correlate to wanting to be in a kismesis with him."

"I want to see him," you say. "I don't know about contact. Maybe I want to ask what he thought he was going to do, raising my kid and screwing with me at the same time. How he thought that was going to work. What was he going to tell my kid about me, if he thought he was going to get away with it. Maybe I want him to delete that fucking 'I hate you' wall he has. Maybe I want to point and laugh at all the 're-education' he's going to go through."

"He already knew he wasn't going to get away with it," the Dolorosa says.

"What's the Black Tower like?" you ask, veering slightly off the subject.

"A prison," the Dolorosa says. "Or in some ways a hospital. I'm sure Pyrope has explained some of the details."

"Re-educated, supervised visits, supervised everything, Earth still conquered but the Viceroy can't have a hate boyfriend, yeah."

"Among other possible punishments," the Dolorosa says. "But those are the most likely." She pauses. "Are there any penalties you'd prefer?"

"Be pretty stupid for me to ask for execution, wouldn't it? Maybe ironic after all the effort not to kill me." Probably also stupid to suggest it to his grandmother, but she asked. "Maybe freedom for Earth and he doesn't have command of anything bigger than one of those ships you stick in a bottle. But freedom isn't on the table either."

The Dolorosa doesn't lecture on the benefits of imperial rule. Instead she says, "Dr. Coyotl mentioned that you had been losing a considerable amount of time during your captivity." She decaptchalogues a data grub, and sets it down on a low table by the couch. It's stubs around a couple inches before curling up, mandibles opening and shutting. You absolutely do not want to pick it up. "This data grub contains the complete security footage from your time on the then-Viceroy's ship. After viewing this, we can discuss if and when you can see him."

"I have to watch the home movie if I want to see him?" you ask. The Dolorosa nods. You know that you're stalling. (You still don't want to pick the data grub up.)

"You can watch it on your own, or with your partner, Rose Lalonde," Dolorosa says, and gets to her feet to leave.

"Wait," you say. She gives you an inquiring look. "So, if this is the complete footage, that's a lot of hours. What's the amount of hours before you'll let me see Vantas?"

"At least seventy two hours within a twenty four hour time frame," Dolorosa says.

"Okay."

Something resembling manners has you get up and follow her to the door, and see her out. When she's gone, you lean against the bulkhead and shudder all over, face in your hands. You slide down the bulkhead to the deck. Take it in steps. There was a computer in the corner of the living room, built into a desk. It wasn't too organic or alarming in appearance. Get the grub to the computer, and open the files. Did you really want to watch it on your own? Did you want Rose there, knowing how badly she wanted to kill Vantas? (It takes a moment to wrap your head around the way the argument wants to phrase Rose's presence as a negative. You don't want me her to be hurt. You don't want her to hurt Vantas.) Did you want to watch it, already knowing what you were going to see? (All the parts you couldn't remember and all the parts you could.)

"This is bullshit," you say, half hoping for a comment from the intercom. "You're hoping I don't watch, which will prove I shouldn't see Vantas." You don't get an answer.

With cringing fingers you pick up the grub (soft squashy urgh) drive and stick it in the port. As the drive opens you send a message to Rose: so i have umptybillion hours of video footage to go through before they'll let me see vantas please come hold my hand. You don't get an immediate reply, so you start going through the files.

You see that you have lots of raw footage. As far as you can tell, no editing was done at all. You are going to be doing a lot of skipping and fast forwarding, is what you're saying. Opening the first file, you get started. It starts with him getting you into his ship, and his quarters. Your hands clench as you watch yourself wake up, the combination of anger and panic on your face as he fucks you, how it turns to lust and desperation. You fast forward.

You fast forward a lot. A lot of this, you remember, and don't much want to go over it again. From a third person perspective, it's weird watching him with you. Watching you with him. (You don't remember the times you tried to make a shank--three times--or biting him as often as you as you actually did.) You can see the moments of concern or confusion on his face, see him arguing with Egbert and Harley. Or meeting some official. (Those are the times when you can remember having been locked in your room. )

Snippet the Second: (Build a Life from Scratch)

After some more talk you all break camp and head west. As you all walk, you stretch your Aspects out, figure out what they can do. It's at least half way to sense for danger, half to practice. You might lay down a "beat" that Redglare joins in on, that Disciple sings along to, that Zahhak hums absentmindedly. Or Jade and Signless have a "song" that Dolorosa joins in on, accompanied by Disciple. Demoness can sound like an entire choir, with Highblood coming in over the top, "sounding" something like a theremin crossed with a bass fiddle. Dave joins in, and Roxy, doing odd little solos or "duets" with one of the trolls, or with Jade.

The next few nights not much happens. The terrain is uneven, the sky is endless, and the air is muggy and damp. There are a few high-flying clouds that disappear by morning. You can see mountains in the distance, and the glinting snake of a river edged with trees. On the third day, you get closer to the river, it starts to get cloudier and the wind kicks up. In the early evening, you can see the wall of an approaching storm. It's a solid green-black wall, and you can see the trailing mists of rain as it dumps down, along with flickers of lightning. "Well, that's going to suck when it gets here," you say.

At the same time you hear this huge sliding crunch off to the side. Exactly like someone pulled up a whole hell of a lot of chunks of ground, all at once. You turn in that direction and see huge chunks of dirt and rock floating around Jade and the Demoness. "Hopefully we can make it suck less!" Jade says cheerfully. The chunks orbit Jade and Demoness as they began to quickly create a shelter. Everyone helps with pounding the dirt and rocks into a rough shelter big enough to hold everyone plus the not-horses. Demoness and Jade (with help from Alter Dave and Dolorosa) smooth out the inside and make everything solid and waterproof.

You all get inside as the storm hits. Roxy pulls out a couple of battery powered lanterns, and sets them up. "Getting better at that," you say.

She grins. "This trick's kind of fun," she says. "Watch." She shows you everything she can make appear, and then disappear. She starts with green cubes, then goes on to various toys, a pair of shoes, a laptop computer, a 3rd Edition Dungeon and Dragons Player's Handbook and DM Handbook. And various sets of dice. And a DM screen. "So, how about a game?"

"That game's for nerds," you scoff.

She rattles one of the clear tubes of dice at you. "Dirk, you are in fact a nerd." She tosses the tube at you, and you catch it reflexively. She also tosses one at Alter Dave, who steps back and lets it fall.

"Nah," he says. "I want to be Debbie."

Roxy laughs, eyes a little bright. "Rose had a brief stint of leaving Chick Tracts in odd little places. I covered the door to her bedroom with a print of The Time of the Dark."

"The one with the wizard sitting in the kitchen with can of beer?" You ask.

"Yep!"

"Mean," Dave says. "Isn't Hambly kinda homophobic?" Quickly. "Not that I would know, except from what my Rose might have ranted about a time or two because she's read a few of the writer's series. I'm way too cool for wizards."

"Wizards are extremely cool," Roxy says. "And I'm not sure one way or another, except yes, if she had written certain books today the way she had then, she would be up to her ears in angry letters and tweets, because holy crap."

It turns out trolls also have roleplaying games. Redglare, Disciple and Signless join in. To your surprise, so does Demoness. Highblood, the Dolorosa and Zahhak do not.

[aeon-wolf]

Legends 4x12

Ya’ll we got so fucking fed tonight. 

Okay so since this post is basically going to be fangirling over Avalance for 70% of it, I’ll get all of the boring stuff out of the way first. If you just want Avalance stuff, jump down to the line break. 

- I am living for Nora’s arc this season. As I’ve said many a time, she is probably my favorite “villain” character that has been on Legends so I’m glad they’re giving her the redemption arc. And it’s been written beautifully. The fact she is trying to change for herself; not for Ray, not for anyone else. But because she knows she’s capable of being a better person and wants to be that person. And then her working with Constantine to trick Neron. I admit I was a bit worried initially they were going to play the betrayal card with her, but I was glad to be proven wrong. And I will never doubt my precious child ever again. 

- We got somewhat introduced to what seems to be Neron’s endgame. Bringing Tabitha into the world and then using magical creatures to scare humans into giving their souls to him. I’m not sure how that second part works exactly, but I’m sure it’ll be explained at some point. Probably in the last five minutes of the season finale knowing Legends. It’s probably a safe bet that Tabitha is a fellow demon if he needed Ava’s body as a vessel for her. 

- I admit Ray and Nate are my least favorite Legends. That isn’t to say I hate them or anything. Just if I had to put all the Legends on the numbered list, they would be at the bottom. So the whole Nate/Ray scenes were really a miss for what I’m interested in Legends for. And with them butting up against Nora/Constantine/Neron scenes and Avalance scenes, they just felt like a drag to watch. That said, I do really feel for Nate. He’s in a difficult position, discovering things about his father and then having to face the demon who killed him. And he’s had some fun to watch growth over the season. 

- I’m really still not here about SteelHacker (or Natari, according to Mona), but I also wish they’d stop playing this “will they, won’t they” with them. Either get them together or don’t. I really am getting kind of annoyed on some level with Zari being like “I like him, but wait no I can’t do that.” I love Zari getting growth, and while I’d infinitely rather see her be single, on some level I can understand her position. Love has always been a liability for her. ARGUS killed her family (if I’m remembering right, I don’t have a great memory), and from what we know about her past, her family were the only people she’s really ever loved deeply. So to protect herself in her dystopian future, she had to cut herself from getting too attached. Thus when she’s running into real budding romantic feelings, it’s hard for her. She’s unsure of herself. And from that standpoint, I don’t mind SteelHacker. Also, I would really like to believe the writers would have liked to put Charlie and Zari together (the eye sex and “You’re straight?” line in this episode), but CW executives (remember the network this show is on everyone) said they met their limit for lgbt+ relationships with Avalance and John/Desmond. Obviously, we can’t know that, but I’ll choose to believe that because it makes me feel better. 

- I also really liked how they portrayed both John/Sara and John/Nora relationships this episode. When Sara insisted on going in after Ava, John seemed to be protective over her in trying to discourage her. After Caity sort of shut down any John/Sara romance stuff at Clexacon (not that there was any indication their dalliance in S3 was any more than what amounted to a drunken one night stand as well as a mistake), I feel like it’s been a bit easier to see their relationship more as almost a brother/sister kind of relationship. Perhaps most akin to twins. They support each other, are protective of one another, but they get on each other’s nerves and annoy the shit out each other, often times for fun. And John/Nora seems almost like a yin/yang relationship. They both are cut from similar cloth, as their conversation outside Neron’s holding cell in the hallway shows. They’re both scared of themselves and their own power, but where John is kind of the tortured soul about it, Nora tries to redeem herself and be better. I think both could learn a lot from the other. 

- There are other little bits and pieces I liked about the episode, but this post is already long enough without talking at all about Avalance, so if you’re curious about anything else, please send me a message. 

AVALANCE!

We, as a fandom, were so fucking fed it’s unreal. It’s such a strange feeling to me to pretty much have an entire episode basically be dedicated to our pairing getting to work out relationship issues and actually talk about the future. 

- So first off, can we talk about how Ava has a cute ass picture of her and Sara in her entryway? It’s such a small thing, but it makes the relationship feel so real. Also when Sara was knocking at Ava’s door, apologizing and facing her fears and wanting to work their relationship out, that was such a growth moment for Sara. I was so proud of how far our emotionally closed off, reformed assassin has come. 

- So basically Ava had been missing for two weeks, which probably was about when they had their fight. And Jes even said at Clexacon that there was supposed to be more to that scene where someone walked in on her having a mental breakdown. I’m thinking a possibility might have been Hank coming in, maybe Ava was late for their meeting and that’s obviously strange for Ava and he tells her to take a leave of absence to get her head on straight after she confesses about her relationship with Sara. And then Neron ambushes her in her apartment shortly after? That’s pure speculation and we’ll probably never know, but it’s fun to think about. 

- The fact that Ava’s hell was set in the Legends version of Ikea was hilarious. Along with all of the little gay shoutouts. They managed to fit in an “out of the closet” joke as well as building furniture together, which was clearly peak gay. And confirmation that Sara is the one to disregard instructions, fail and then have her significant other basically say “I told you so” when they build the thing successfully following directions. 

- I’m glad they clarified her opinions on one of the things Sara and Ava got in a fight about in the first place, how the Bureau was treating magical creatures. I’m not really sure I got the characterizations right in my assumptions, but it seemed to be a defensive fear thing, rather than any sort of malice or callousness. It obviously doesn’t make it right, but it does explain her point of view better than she did in the actual argument scene. 

- As I said, one of the most real things about the entire episode was that Ava and Sara were talking about real problems that you’d normally see a straight couple on a TV show discuss. Long term commitment (shoutout for actually showing them as older wlw which is fucking rare on TV, even if it was only for a moment), them consider what a “normal” life would be like, and address them being two powerful, independent women trying to navigate a relationship when both of them are in pretty unfamiliar territory was a long term relationship. It was about treating Avalance like a normal relationship on the screen. The fact that they are two women wasn’t ignored, but it wasn’t the central point either. It was more like two people, communicating about what they want, recognizing they’ll both have to compromise on some things and work their problems out together that just happen to be two women. It was beautiful and no one can tell me otherwise. I’m sure someone will find a bone to pick with the whole premise, there always is, but I’d just like to recognize that while it may not be perfect, it’s a hell of a lot better than the “bury your gays” tropes that we were dealing with not 3 years ago. As well as other questionable lgbt+ representation decisions on a certain network. 

- I’m kind of glad that it was Ava that wanted the “normal” life. And kind of addressed that there is more to life than her job. I feel like, at least for myself in writing fanfic, I’ve characterized her as someone who basically has no life outside work. And while that might be canonically true at the moment, getting verbal confirmation that Ava does want something more with Sara was great.

- And then again, Sara and her own insecurities over her past and not being able to be the person that Ava “needs” Which like.. fucking props for the ones who wrote the line “Neither of us needs anybody, but you are who I want.”  I feel like in a lot of TV relationships (not just wlw) that they always make characters so dependant on their significant other, *cough Supergirl* and they sacrifice character development of one or both characters in favor of building a relationship. Or propping up one character at the expense of the other. And while Avalance is obviously important, both Sara and Ava have had growth unrelated to their relationship in the last two seasons and that line is kind of just a representation of that fact. 

Anyways, I have a lot more feelings about the episode, but this post is long enough. Please send me inbox messages to fangirl with me if you want. I’m so hyped about this episode. I think moving away from a specific magical fugitive and just focusing on the Legends and the Neron plotline (plus the whole Nate thing) did the episode fluidity a lot of good and from the promo for next episode, it seems like it’ll be similar. 

[thebellwitchblog]

Some Things I Feel the Need to Address in Fandom

Hello there! I’ve been in fandom for a long time and as such have witnessed it evolve into what it is today. I wasn’t around during the times when people feared Anne Rice and her lawyers, but I did pop into the scene soon after when the horror was still fresh in everyone’s minds, and I’ve been around in some capacity ever since. Fandom has always always had problems that needed addressing, and that’s what I intend to do in this post. Yes, there are plenty of posts just like this one floating around Tumblr and other sites where fandom gathers, even in the author’s notes of fanfiction where disclaimers once stood.

All fandoms across the board have the same problems, some more so than others, but the same general themes show up. Of course depending on the canon material there are more problems of certain types than others, but really most problems stem from one thing: People are trying to police how others experience fandom.

What do I mean by this? Well, simply put, select people are trying to decide what is and isn’t acceptable for other people to do in fandom. This goes beyond educating about polite ways to interact with each other and straight into deciding what is or isn’t okay to headcanon or ship.

The major problem with this is that fandom arose from people that were passionate about some creative work or another and wanted to share this passion with others, even if they didn’t agree on certain aspects what bound them together was their shared love for the source material. There have always been ship wars and discourse in the communities, but here within the last few years, particularly here on Tumblr, these have gotten out of hand.

It is perfectly fine to disagree about who should be paired together, to disagree over headcanons and how characters should be remade. It’s okay to disagree, but once disagreements become demonization and a toxic us vs them ideology then fandom becomes a dangerous place. I’ve witnessed all out vicious wars on here over things like shipping a 17 year old with someone in their mid-20s. This isn’t okay.

Fanon is literally anything you want it to be. That’s why it isn’t canon. Fanon is taking the canon and changing it up as much as you would like until it’s perfectly suited for you. Do you ship these two characters? Great now they’re together in your fanon. Do you think this character gives off major ace vibes? Well guess what! They’re ace! In your fanon. Your fanon does not under any circumstances get to invalidate someone else’s. Let me repeat that one more time, but bolded. Your fanon does not, under any circumstances, get to invalidate someone else’s.

So far I’ve talked in really general terms, but now I’m going to address some more specific things I’ve seen. Again, these aren’t about any specific fandom, but specific problems I’ve seen people fighting over in multiple fandoms.

Shipping minors with adults. This is, not gonna lie, a very very iffy area and it comes up a lot. Whether or not this is okay is dependent on the age gap. NOT the age gap in the canon work, but rather the age gap in your fanon. What do I mean by this? Well, let’s say a character in canon is 21 and you’re wanting to draw them with another character that’s maybe 15 in canon. How could this be made remotely okay? Easy! Age up the younger or de-age the older enough that they’re within an acceptable age gap. This sort of stuff has existed in fandom since the dawn of fandom. It’s really nothing new. Note: This is not pedophilia! Pedophilia, by definition, is a chronophilia (sexual attraction to individuals within a specific stage of life), and mental illness, characterized by the sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, which the DSM-5 includes up to age 13, by adults. Even without changing the ages, a 15 year old being shipped with a 21 year old is not pedophilia. It is Hebephilia or, more likely, Ephebophilia depending on whether the 15 year old is experiencing puberty or just after it and what definition of the two you reference as these have not been formally included as a mental illness as of yet and thus do not have an agreed upon age range, but regardless 14 and 15 year olds do not fall in the range of pedophilia.

Shipping canonically non-het characters in het relationships. This is what we’ve been doing all along with cishet characters this entire time, guys. Literally probably 90% of slash/femslash (oh geez are these terms even used anymore? I think I’m showing my age) is two canonically heterosexual characters being shipped in a pretty gay relationship. Granted this usually happens because there wasn’t a lot of representation, but now that representation is growing it’s to be expected that people are going to do the same with the LGBT characters. This goes right back to what I touched on earlier in this post- let everyone experience fandom like they want. Note: It is not homophobic to ship a non-het character with someone of the opposite gender just like it’s not heterophobic to ship two het characters in a gay relationship. This especially goes for characters that we don’t know their sexuality specifically we just know that they’re non-het.

Feeling like the creators of the source work owe you something. This one isn’t something you see outright stated a lot, but it’s evident in how people act towards animation studios, authors, etc. Whenever something doesn’t go how people want it to in the canon, then people practically riot and threaten the creators- even the voice actors and actors will get hate from fans when they don’t have any, or very minimal, control over where the story goes. Yes, you can get upset over what happens in the canon and get worked up, but when it gets to threats and absolute chaos? Especially when it’s just a rumor? That’s not okay anymore. That’s when it gets toxic. We have headcanons and fanon for a reason. It’s there so that if the canon material goes completely opposite of what you’d like you can still have that perfect ending. That’s a large part of why we have fanworks. 

Other Problematic Ships. Policing ships isn’t always due to age gaps. I’ve witnessed it with canonically abusive characters a lot, for instance. Regardless of why a ship is “problematic” there is no excuse for telling someone they cannot ship it. Not only does this fall back to the whole “Let everyone experience fandom how they want” ideology I’ve brought up on multiple occasions throughout this post, but also they can interpret this ship however they want. People disregard canon a lot in fandom, so why is this any different? More often than not the character isn’t abusive in their fanon no matter what the canon might say. Even if the character is still abusive in the ship, that doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to ship it. I’ve talked to some people where these ships were an honest to god coping mechanism for them after they got out of an abusive relationship. Note: This does not make it okay to romanticize abuse.

These next few points aren’t specific to fandom but instead Tumblr as a whole that are a huge problem in fandom as well.

Echochambers. Tumblr, and social media in general, is notorious for this. People surround themselves with like-minded people and block anyone that even slightly differs from their opinions. Why is this a bad thing? Because when we’re surrounded by the same viewpoints our viewpoint narrows. A lot. And misinformation spreads faster and is harder to get rid of. Not to mention other problems such as nurturing an us vs them ideology. Things get blown out of proportion, people become unable to cope with opposition, and it’s just not a good time for anyone involved.

Callout Culture. Callout posts are so so so common that it is honestly overwhelming. If you’ve been on this site and actively posting for any length of time, you’ve probably been called out by someone for some perceived crime against humanity. Whether or not you actually committed this crime, or if this “crime” is actually worth the backlash, you’re now blacklisted by a varying number of people depending on how many followers the person has. Congratulations! Crimes can be, but are certainly not limited to: - reblogging a post from someone you didn’t know was some vile creature in human clothing (whether they actually are one or not doesn’t matter. What matters is they’re considered one). - you used a term you had no earthly idea was a slur. No slap on the wrist for you, you’re going straight to the gallows. - posting fanart of a ship someone considers problematic (see two prime examples above!) Why is Callout Culture such a problem? It demonizes and turns entire communities against someone for minor mistakes or entirely bogus reasons in the first place. If someone makes a mistake they shouldn’t be blacklisted immediately; they should be informed of why what they did was wrong first and foremost and given the chance to change.

Holding Grudges. Please. I am begging you. Let. People. Grow. If someone says something years ago and then not only apologizes but proves they’ve changed? Let it go and move on. What is the point in insisting that people need to widen their views if you won’t let them live down a mistake they made beforehand? If they change then reward their efforts instead of holding their mistakes over their head. This goes for actors and actresses, directors, producers, people here on Tumblr, etc.

I could keep going and bring up even more problems, but honestly I’m tired. It’s time to wrap this up.  tl;dr stop acting like you own fandom and let people do what they want. Let people ship what they want, headcannon what they want, etc etc etc. Fandom belongs to everyone and canon material belongs to the actual creator, not you. The only thing you own is the stuff that you make. Mind your own business, stay in your lane, and let things go every now and then. You’ll be a lot happier, I promise.

[juuls]

Why canon ships suck

So! You like a ship, right?

You want that ship to become canon, but it hasn’t yet, or never will.

So what do you do?

You read fanfiction, of course!

In many people’s opinions, fanfiction can often be better than canon. It allows us to explore ships, characters, alternate universes… and sometimes we encounter authors who do it way better than the canon writers do. It’s pretty spectacular, to be honest.

Fanfiction and fandom allows us to explore the what-ifs. The ‘what would happen if this event didn’t happen, or this character didn’t die, or these two characters met who never did in canon’. It provides us an avenue to ‘fix’ what canon screwed up – well, in some people’s minds. In an age where we are only just starting to get LGBT+ representation on the screen, or in books (but only really just now, in any fair way), fanfiction gives slash/femslash/polyamory shippers a place to explore the ships that they wish were on screen – but aren’t yet, unfortunately. I know that fandom is a bastion for me in that regard.

But… have you ever stopped to wonder what would happen if your ship became canon?

In my opinion…

…and in the minds of a few people whom I have spoken to at length on this topic… canon makes the ships less fun.

They’re together. The people we shipped, the people we wrote fics about… they’re together. What more is there to write or read about? Yeah sure, you could still write some fics, especially legacy and alternate universes. But there will be far less interest in it after the fact. Fanfiction is more often than not a place to explore the ‘getting together’ part of a relationship, and once they’re together, besides wrapping up the plot… what fun is there?

Not much, honestly.

Yeah, there’s the whole fandom attitude of ‘winning’ over another ship. And maybe the canon ship breaks up and ends with someone else. That is entirely possible. But I’m talking about those ships that become canon and end the series/movies/books that way. Yep, we can be gleeful that we ‘won’. We can dance and say nananabooboo! and be all happy and whatnot. ‘Winning’ a ship war can be fun.

But do you know what those shippers have that we don’t, after everything is said and done?

… they get to keep writing/reading fanfic, and it’s interesting for them, exciting, and they can ignore the scene/episode/movie/book/epilogue (I’m looking at you, J.K. Rowling) at their leisure. When we get our canon ship… it sort of, I dunno, ends there for a lot of people.

It kinda sucks.

Actually, it really sucks.

So, you know what? I don’t want my ships to become canon. Or, at the very least, I would love evidence that they’re moving in that direction, at the end of whatever it is, TV/movie/book, that I’m watching or reading. That way I’ve got this pretty strong feeling that they’re going to end up together… but, like… they aren’t actually together.

So then I can write whatever I want, whatever I see as possible for them getting together.

I just don’t want to be spoon-fed.

So… I’m looking at you, Johnlock. I’m looking at you, Hannigram. I’m looking at you, Reylo. I’m looking at you, SSHG. I’m looking at you, Stucky/Stony. 

Basically what I’m trying to say is… that I really enjoy it when my ship becomes canon… but then I lose the fandom love for it. Then it just becomes another aspect of the show/movie/book, and not a way of life, in a way. Because fandom/fanfiction… shipping… it thrives on the unknown. Thrives on the fix-its. Thrives on the getting-together.

Once we have all that. Once we have the known, the fixes, the getting together, the wrapping up… it’s not fun anymore.

But I’m not saying I don’t enjoy when things are pointing in my ship’s favor. :)

So, let’s take a look at a few stats.

I’m not diving deep here, because there are a lot of facts that don’t get taken into account with the numbers. You have to have been part of the fandom to understand the ins and outs, when a fandom was popular, and what effect the decade it was popular in had on a ship or fandom, or the decline of a ship over a certain amount of time, or after it becomes canon (because a ship can still be at the top of the charts, but its fic contributions rapidly declined after it became canon), or if a fandom moved to another website, or was/is more prevalent on another site or whatever, etc. But the numbers are still interesting.

So yeah, this isn’t thoroughly researched empirical data, but… it’s a start.

Red = non-canon, blue = canon (I’m not outlining all of them, just a couple here and there.)

(Edit 9/10/17: Since some people have insinuated some rude things about me, I would like to clarify my stance. I went into it briefly above, but obviously I should have delved more. 

Because writers of books/tv/movies these days are still less likely to write in an LGBT+ romance, the statement that canon ships suck still holds true. As a bisexual and polyamorous woman, I know that it’s very unlikely that I will see the latter, and that it is not something common to see the former, either.

So fanfiction has become something of a safe haven for myself and others in that regard.

HOWEVER, I would be beyond ecstatic if there was a poly relationship, for example, but as long as it was done with respect. I would be beyond ecstatic for a gay or lesbian relationship, that was treated well and respectfully and not fetishized. Not there for shock value. Which is starting to happen more, I’m pleased to note (the ships happening, not the fetishizing).

Take one of my favorite ships: Hannigram. I love it. I ship it on and off screen. On the show and in fanfiction. I mean it practically is canon. I would very likely still read fanfiction even if/when they continue the series and it becomes a reality. Because I’m pretty damn sure that they would show the good and the bad of the relationship and keep it interesting.

And oh my goodness I would be beyond ecstatic if Marvel would follow through on Stucky. I think we all would be. Gah!

And like… if Star Wars would finally give me a polyamorous relationship as part of its main, or near-to, characters… it would warm my soul to feel a part of me recognized in mainstream culture. And you’d be damn sure I’d still be shipping it.

(Game of Thrones had a really good opportunity to make Rhaegar and Elia and Lyanna married, all three of them, but instead they stomped all over poor Elia and her children… my heart!)

As some people have pointed out, a lot of writers don’t know how to write a relationship after they’ve gotten together. This feels true to me. Good examples of the opposite, though, are Bones and Castle and Outlander, and even Shadowhunters with Malec, and Buffy. Usually, though, writers don’t quite know what to do with characters once they’ve gotten them to this point.

This is what I am referencing when I say I have bad experience liking ships after they become canon.

But I am SO here for writers getting better at it. Especially as they start to explore LGBT+ and minority representation. 

(And maybe part of why I don’t like canon ships… is because I am also bored with the het white ships that keep popping up… just a thought that came to me reading comments and reblogs. It’s worth considering.)

I don’t check out if the ship becomes canon. Not at all. I cheer alongside the rest of people.

All I am referencing is that the fanfiction about these canon relationships (something I typically love more than canon) seems to suffer and peter out afterwards.

And here is my response ^ that will now be viewed as “the lady doth protest too much”. But whatever.

Enjoy. xoxo)

[obsxduri-blog]

Intermissions I-IV: Catching Up

Blog Guest: Jou

I.

Preferred name: Jou Preferred pronouns: They/Them Timezone: USA EST UTC -5

Preferred writing style (script, para, either): Either Preferred writing genre: A roadtrip to hell with brief respites. Anything that causes characters to change, either drastically or over time. Characters developing bonds & relationships & affecting one another. (I’d say the typical “fantasy/scifi” but uh, Obscura’s already got that covered?) Genres you’re less interested/would rather not partake in: It’s just not believable to me if characters are 100% happy all the time, I guess? Any other writing preferences?: I’m so flexible it hurts.

Favorite color: Purple! Specifically, blue-violet. Favorite/lucky number: 3 (which I accidentally gave to Duri as well, for. Reasons.) A song/show/drama you’d recommend: Ore Monogatari!! & Pretty Rhythm: Rainbow Live. Fill in the blank: “You’re always free to message me about ___!” Plotting; cats; characters; anything you want, really. If you could choose a species in Obscura that you’d like to be, what would it be? Why?: Beast-blooded because I’m not a furry, but given the opportunity to be a real-life dragon, I’d take it.  What is your ultimate weakness; what makes you feel all soft and squishy inside?: FRIENDS.... Write the first thing to come to mind in caps: WEEEEH???? Three random facts about you: I am 5′10″ (178 cm) which means I am disgustingly tall (actually, the rest of you are very short). Currently attending art college! My two moods are soft & meme.

II.

How long have you been rping?: Eight years, though is my first KRP. Do you write outside of rp?: Yes! Talk to me sometime about my 80+ OC’s. OwO Which days/times do you get the most writing done?: Whenever I have time to sit down.

If your muse(s) could describe you in a few words, what would they say?: “Haunted by a lack of sleep.” or something. I have difficulties describing others’ personalities, let alone myself, even in the frame of a fictional character doing it. What is the most wicked thing you could imagine your character doing?: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Witches, man. We’ll definitely see, though. If your muse(s) were real, would you fight them?: I’m pretty sure Duri needs a lot of therapy & some good friends, so no, I am absolutely not fighting this one. If other people or other muses want to fight Duri, though? By all means.

What object would you erase from existence if given the opportunity?: Headphone jacks in computers that don’t quite work. They’re hellish. If you had a billion dollars and could only spend it, what would you buy first?: Pay off my crippling college debt, buy a house big enough to move in all of my friends, get my transition rolling w/o dealing with insurance stuff...this is probably too realistic to be meme-y, sorry. If you could play any sport, what would it be?: Weight-lifting or hand-to-hand combat/self defense. Or parkour. Do you have any fun hobbies or talents you’d like to share?: I think I already mentioned going to art college, but yes, I do art! And that’s...pretty much my entire identity now...!!!! Do you have/want any pets?: I have six! Two dogs (Benny & Chooch) & four cats (Izzy, Dagda, Mozz, & Zoot).

III.

What’s the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to you?: One time I managed to win $200 in a scratch-off game on vacation? That’s objectively pretty lucky. I’m also just...really lucky to know the people that I do, have the friends that I have, and be loved like I am. If you could attend any concert or event right now without any obstacles, what would you choose?: Time travel me back to see Queen & David Bowie. ;_; I am a simple gay. What’s your dream vacation?: Big city with  Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate? Any style preferences?: I drink. SO much hot chocolate over the school year. I also really love tea, and I have been...sort of getting into coffee. Ish. I go to Starbucks sometimes because that fuckin’ Midnight Mint Mocha was literally made for me. A game you love ( traditional, video, etc )?: I LOVE AND HATE BIOWARE GAMES. They single-handedly destroyed my aversion to retaining canon & shipping canon/OC characters. Crappy ending? No problem! Didn’t happen! One of your favorite characters got thrown into the void because of an arbitrary choice meant only to punish people who didn’t take one specific choice early on???? They’re fine, they crawled OUT of the void. AU WHERE THANE DIES? NOT AN AU I LIKE. THANE LIVES ON HAPPILY WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND, RECONCILED WITH HIS SON AND HE’S. FINE. THAT’S THE NEW CANON.

Favorite/Number one go-to internet meme?: I type like you would expect the Internet to in private (lots of periods/commas, Capital Letters, trademark symbol, raNDOM CAPS). I like bone-hurting juice? Calling people furries? Least favorite internet meme?: Crave that mineral. Something that makes you want to flip a table?: Memes.

In your opinion, do you fit the stereotyped traits of your western zodiac sign? Do you believe that another sign fits you better? What about your muse?: I’ve been told by people with more expertise than me that I pretty much fit the textbook definition of an Aquarius: weirdo, mysterious, deep-thinker. I had to go look up Scorpio stuff for Duri, and like...she’s more like it as MagCoChe? Since that’s the kind of person she wants to be (intense, caring, brave, etc). She’s also pretty ambitious (#JustLittleWitchThings) & stubborn with that ambitiousness. So, I guess she does fit Scorpio! Just...not in the way you necessarily expect those things to manifest, since people tend to talk about Scorpios as though they’re very confident. Post a gif of what you’re currently feeling right now.

IV.

Do you prefer to brainstorm your plots or wing them? Do you have no preference in either?

I like to have some sort of skeleton of where to go, but I’m fine with winging it from there—I feel like the meat of a story can’t truly be found until you’re within it & writing it. That being said, I’m also very partial to plotting out where things will go in terms of those skeletons? I basically like having a guideline, and then playing with that.

What kind of writing memes do you like, if any (sentence starters, drabble memes, head-canon memes, etc)?

I just love memes in general! I feel like some surprising things come out of the drabble memes (I know I really enjoy reading what others come up with for those), but each kind serves their own function, especially in terms of what the mundane feels like writing.

What’s the easiest way to plot with you? Alternatively, what is the easiest way to contact you for plotting?

I am absolutely okay with plotting over Tumblr, but as long as I am awake, I am on Discord. (Other members can friend me through the OBS chat!)

What kind of movies/television series/dramas/anime/etc do you like to watch?

I watch a disgusting amount of superhero movies due to my stepfather’s interests. I’ve also been watching Star Trek: The Next Generation for the same reason, as a family activity. That being said, I gravitate heavily towards fantasy & scifi genres when it comes to consuming media of my own volition!

Would you be interested in the occasional group viewing of a movie/series/drama/cartoon/etc, if one were to be organized?

Absolutely!! I feel like movies are more feasible just because we all live with vastly differing sleep schedules & time zones, but I would happily do any. ovob

If yes to the above, do you have any specifics in time or day as to when you are available to attend? If no, is there any group activity that you would be interested in participating in (ie, games of some sort)?

I’m pretty much available whenever I’m awake/online? I probably wouldn’t be able to do anything from midnight to 10 AM or somewhere around there, but it also depends on my class schedule.

If you were caught up in a food fight, what food would you throw first?

Something that leaves a stain or sticks, so something with tomato sauce or a food like rice. Or maybe I’d just lob a full slice of pizza through the air in hopes it would hit someone topping-side first. Who knows?

If you could be any mythological beast, which one would you be and why?

Who says I’m not already an alien. Or a dragon. Or both. Have any of you ever seen me in the same room as an alien dragon?? I think not. 

Top five things that make you happy?

My friends because I’m terribly sappy, cats & animals of all kinds, talking about OC’s & muses, video games, memes?

Share a picture! It could be of your bias, a cute animal, a drawing, a meme, an anime wife—anything you’d like!