#if you want to reblog don't acknowledge the vent tags. just reblog

[hazmatazz]

why do i have to have debilitating anxieties, mental issues, depressive episodes, high expectations, and responsibilities. like girls just wanna have fun </33

[tinyfantasminha]

I don't want to keep clogging my blog with vent posts but uh... I guess this is a more general concern/observation

But it's getting real hard to stay motivated in fandom spaces when there's little compensation, and annoying occurrences are more frequent than good ones.

Mainly there's been less engagement/people showing interest in creators and their art (such as sending asks, making comments and reblogging with tags) and MORE parasocial interactions. This goes for both artists and writers.

Over this year I've noticed a vast disinterest within my public in general. Asks about ocs, my art, or just nice simple comments of ''I love your art'' has been getting more and more scarce. My follower number is bigger than 2-3 years ago sure and I get more likes on my posts but they are feeling more like just numbers and statistics than actual people who supposedly like my stuff.

And while people being parasocial with creators has always been a thing, I feel like it's gotten way worse... in general? People sending personal pictures out of the blue in hopes of being validated, unwanted psychological advice or assumptions about the creator without any established connection first ( <- these happened to me in the same week.) ventdump, just insensitive/lacking of common sense comments in general, unreasonable demands (mostly with writers)... I wondered at first if it was just me, but a handful of mutuals/acquaintances who are artists and writers seems to be going through it as well.

It's annoying. It's tough. It's getting exhausting. Creators pour so much of themselves into their work—countless hours, effort, and passion, all to share something meaningful or entertaining with others (and for FREE) The LEAST anyone can do is show respect, even if opinions differ. When a writer posts a fanfic, don't just say ''omg post next chapter!'', when an artist posts a drawing of their favorite character, don't just say ''omg draw (character) next!'' as if they're faceless content machines that are expected to churn out more '''content''' for you without acknowledgment, encouragement, or appreciation.

''I want to support creators but I don't know what to say and I feel intimidated by their talent so I just lurk silently :((('' I swear to you, no creator (at least not the majority) is making up an intimidating persona to discourage you from interacting with them. They WANT your comments. A single ''I love your art/writing/videos'' or even something as silly as ''I want to eat your art'' is enough to keep a creator sighing dreamily for WEEKS. It doesn't have to be deep! It's heartfelt and that's what it matters!! (Just remember to keep it relevant and thoughtful... It takes just a bit of common sense NOT to comment things like ''this looks like (another character)'' or ''this but with (another unrelated ship/character/show)''. No one wants to hear comparisons or unrelated ideas when they’ve poured their soul into something.)

In fact, the ''I like your art but I think you're intimidating'' feels more hurtful than flattering. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, acting wrong. 💀

If you love that fanfic that changed your brain psyche forever and want to gush about it, go tell the writer. If you loved so much a piece of art that you saved it a million times in your phone and can't stop thinking about it, go tell the artist. Push away the ''they probably won't care about my comment/it won't make a difference'' thoughts. DO IT NOW. You won't know when they might go inactive forever or deactivate. You can't know if that is the last piece they will ever post. Make sure you show appreciation to creators NOW, while they are still here. While they're still not being replaced by AI.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

About the Murdle fandom. (long post)

I have made vent posts before, but this is less of a vent post and more of explaining the specifics of the situation, which I have not yet shared my perspective on publicly. I know it's a long post but please, please for my sake read it.

I joined Tumblr because I wanted to be a part of the Murdle fandom.

It started with Raven. She was the only person on DeviantArt (where I started) other than me who posted Murdle art, so I summoned the courage to talk to her. I'm glad I did. She ended up one of my best friends, not just in the fandom, but period.

After a while, I more or less left DeviantArt and moved entirely to Tumblr to focus on the Murdle cartoon. For a while, she was the only reader, until I was joined by RoyalleBlue, my best friend on Tumblr.

And I would also like to shoutout kirvee, electricskelecomics, foxglove.woods, and murdleandmarot for providing support

Raven invited me to the Detective Fanclub Discord server. I was extremely nervous coming in but was welcomed by electricskelecomics and a few others. I wasn't used to a public server and had intense anxiety, but was slowly warming up to talking.

Eventually I was comfortable enough to talk regularly about Murdle. Raven posted AU information about Logico, and I jokingly called her out for 'hurting my babi boi'. Another user suddenly publicly called me out for 'infantilizing' characters, completely humiliating me. They gave an indirect apology (through Raven) apologizing because they 'knew I was fragile'. I left the server, to then which a mod followed me to DMs and criticized me for leaving for a long while until I stopped responding and they finally let it go.

To this day I am very uncomfortable when the server is brought up and often fall into another depression cycle.

I generally felt better here on Tumblr. Even though I didn't get much attention, I still had Blue and Raven.

I however seemed to unknowingly be making an enemy. A prominent user in the Tumblr Murdle fandom who I had never spoken to directly but had still liked the posts of and who indirectly said I was 'very cool' at one point began completely avoiding me, although I'm not sure exactly when it started. Initially I figured they just didn't read the series, which is fine, but they also ignored my art while usually liking and reblogging every other Murdle art post. This kept increasing to the point where they no longer interacted with Blue simply for being friends with me, and refused to acknowledge art that I was even tagged in.

At this point I could tell that it was personal, and yet I still don't have the faintest idea of what caused the grudge, as again, I never spoke to this person. They blocked me at one point before unblocking me the next day (and still avoiding me). Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, I sent them one non-aggressive message explaining why I felt like I had to block them and did. It hurt me, because I knew this was a very nice person otherwise and someone I wanted to be friends with initially.

It doesn't matter if it's not direct, targeted avoidance hurts. Every time someone other than me, Blue, or Raven made a Murdle post now, I'd get a harsh reminder of the fact that I was being ignored on purpose.

The depression I've gotten from all this is more severe than one might expect. I just wanted to join a community with the people who also love my new favorite thing. Murdle was the only thing making me happy through a dark time, and now it just makes me think of the people who berated me on Discord and avoided me on Tumblr.

I hate thinking of the book like this. I find it, needless to say, amazing in every way which is why I dedicate so much time and effort to it. Designing characters isn't easy. Writing isn't easy. I only wanted some appreciation for my efforts. I don't mind if people aren't interested in the cartoon. But the personal offenses are getting to be too much.

Thank you for reading this. I want to be free to continue my work that I love making so much.

[dotterelly]

I'm going to say something because I know a number of people have followed me recently because of QSMP content and I feel it would be neglectful not to at Ieast once acknowledge what's going on.

I am following the qsmp tag and I don't filter out discourse because I don't want to create too much of an echo chamber around myself and then be ignorant of problems. However I don't intend to post much of anything about any of the discourse.

For the small fandom drama, I'm an internet granny. I've been in fandoms before and I know there's always people in any community who's passion outweighs their tolerance and ability to understand other points of view. I'll vent about it to friends directly sometimes but I don't intend to get dragged into pointless discussions.

For the bigger issues, I see them. I tend to give it a few days to a week to allow at least a little time for full details to come out before deciding how it will impact my personal interaction with the content I love. I take what actions I judge to be appropriate according to the specific circumstances. But these days I tend to avoid reblogging or posting about things myself. This is because I - a. Usually have nothing useful to add to the conversation. I do not have related experiences to give my opinions weight, and I don't feel I have the right to talk for others, particularly others that know what they're talking about far better than I. And b. I've had a rough few years with my own mental health so for my own sanity I just have to focus on the things that make me feel happy, like good art and kind people and stuff.

That's my baseline rule for reblogging. I prefer to mostly be spreading things that are funny, friendly, kind, and to express my admiration for people. Some negative does slip through the cracks from time to time because I'm only human. I'm just a human being trying to exist.

I guess if you take anything away from this post, that's it. Don't forget that most of the people you interact with are only human. We aren't omniscient, we aren't telepathic, we aren't angelically good or devilishly evil. We will always continue to see the world through the lens of our personal life experiences and brain chemistry and that will always make some things obvious and other things hard for us to notice or understand. And because of that the most important thing you can practice doing is to be kind to others, particularly to strangers.

OK I ended up rambling a bit there. Tl,dr - I will mostly keep this blog discourse free but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the discourse.

[locksnek]

Fanfiction Author Interview Game

Thank you @ladystormcrow for the tag! ^_^ (Not going to start a reblog chain due to space, so her interview is here.

________________

How many works do you have on AO3? Currently, 9. I had slightly more on my prior iteration of AO3, before the Deletion Incident of 2022.

What's your total AO3 word count? 101,203

Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes: Ngl I don't want to look at this right now. Dark Crystal fandom is really quiet now, and I try not to keep falling into the trap of lamenting my deletion of my prior AO3 from back when there was more engagement.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, because I like comments and I like talking about my blorbos.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Of the completed stuff on AO3, Kind Other. UrLii is having an angsty day. That said, I think this basically vent fic I wrote in SIlmarillion fandom 8 years ago is probably the angstiest published fic I've done overall: Our Love is Great

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Happy is in the eye of the beholder, but possibly Food Fight [or Out of Hand, discussed further below]. It's a grotesque story but I can safely say skekNa and skekUng are both happy by the end of it. It inaugurates what will be their lifetime together terrorizing the creatures of Thra.

Do you write crossovers? I haven't per se, closest I've come was a Silm fic where I made a scenario analogous to the short story "The Renegade" by Camus. I've got a couple crossover ideas for fandoms I've never written in, but I've already been carrying them around for quite a few years, so who knows.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? No, just a couple odd comments that could mean anything, which I read as funny.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not terribly explicit smut. Even when I don't fade to black, I tend to imply a lot of things rather than spell them out. I'm more likely to get more descriptive the more disgusting the situation is.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not per se. Just not been acknowledged for a HC someone took almost blow-by-blow from my Gragoh longfic and then kind of disavowed in their comments section. Maybe it's just me, but if one dislikes someone enough to not credit them where credit is due, I don't quite even understand the desire to use that person's ideas rather than coming up with one's own.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not as such.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not yet. *pleading face emoji*

What's your all-time favorite ship? Lowkey obsessed with UngNaLi, or any twosome permutations thereof. I also love Jaime/Brienne and Jaime/Ilyn Payne from ASoIAF.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? The Birds of the Temple Garden, a Tolkien fic set on Numenor that used a derelict garden as a plot device. This is probably the Silm fic of mine that would still most resonate with me, and sometimes I think my present self would still be capable of finishing it in something close to its original spirit, but I've not clapped eyes on it in 8 years.

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue, incessant metaphors, imagery.

What are your writing weaknesses? I can get too introspected and up my own ass with convoluted and repetitive narratives if I stay too long in a character's brain. This is part of the reason I enjoy writing ensemble POVs, as they keep my attention distributed and I don't hyperfocus on the content of one dumbass's head.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I don't have many thoughts on it, other than please provide a translation, whether through a note or within the work itself.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? ASoIAF*, Lovecraftian, Ozverse, possibly Labyrinth or Neverending Story. *Not strictly true! I do have all of one paragraph of something ASoIAF written.

What's your favorite fic you've written? Out of Hand. It was freeing to write because Ung and Na are such pieces of shit but they genuinely love each other very much, and since they're Skeksis I didn't feel like I as the narrator really needed to justify or reconcile that. The tags alone shocked a ragebait youtuber into referring to me as "the bastard who wrote the porn." It firmly established my OTP. It also made me write a bit about their urRu counterparts, whom I also love and would like to write more about. Nothing but good things have come out of this. _____________ Tags! I think everyone I'm tagging writes fic, ignore if not. @scientistservant @heartbreakterrorbird @pomgore @merelyafigment @drapopia

[the-blue-fairie]

hey, no worries at all about venting in the tags of... your reblog of my reblog of your post, lol!! as i mentioned, i was trying to find a completely different old post by someone else, and then ended up seeing your post in my search and i just feel that it's a great explanation of some of the issues that i have with the ending. i can totally understand why people who like the idea behind the ending and what the writers were trying to say with it want to defend it, to an extent, but i agree with you that they just didn't successfully say that. which only makes me more frustrated with the ending than i imagine i would've been otherwise. and i'm sorry people have been trying to group you in with frozen 2 haters when you didn't want to be seen that way! and to me, the posts of yours that i've read about the movie (including the one i reblogged that prompted this ask) never came off that way either. you always seemed like someone who had your issues with it and criticisms of it, but could also still see positives in it and things to celebrate about it.

Thank you for sending me this message. I apologize for not replying for a day; life got a bit busy.

Looking back on my old discussions of F2, I feel I was hamstrung by not wanting to make my friends angry. I have friends who are fans of F2 and, while I wrote those posts, I was cripplingly scared that they would stop being friends with me, or unfollow me, or dismiss my critiques as mere negativity. In fact, my fears were justified. Some of these people DID unfollow me and DID tell me I was being overwhelmingly negative. This broke my heart - especially because I spilled so much ink trying to balance every negative I discussed with a positive and celebrating the good elements, but it felt like it didn't matter. It didn't matter how anxious I was to be understood, it didn't matter that I was writing in good faith. And that hurt.

I also feel that I was intimidated by the extreme sides of the fandom. If, for example, I wrote a post criticizing Elsa's arc, anti-Elsa people could jump on it and say, "See, this is why Elsa is a bad sister."

So that's why, in my vent, I said I was too kind to the film. I was so constricted by being terrified of other people's reactions - terrified of having an unpopular opinion. So I qualified all my statements with, "Of course, I don't mean to be overly negative" instead of just focusing on my points.

I just want to shake people sometimes when they tell me the point of the film and say, "They followed through on their intent with very poor execution. They DIDN'T DO the things you are saying they did. They tried, but there are scores of reasons why they did not succeed - reasons that go beyond my personal preference, that have to do with characterization, pacing, story structure, etc."

It hurts because... I feel like, in the past, I tried to force myself to like the film more than I do. I've wanted to like it for years, but the last time I put it on I broke down crying and not in a good way and I just... I wish it worked. I wish that all the various thematic threads coalesced into an emotionally satisfying whole. And I know that, because of my emotional response, people might just dismiss all my discussion - no matter how nuanced I am, no matter how fair towards the film I am in my analysis, as, "Well, you're biased from the start."

No. I've spent years trying to see all sides, empathizing with a variety of people in the fandom, sometimes even at my own expense. I do value the parts of F2 that work and acknowledge the beauty of various elements including Anna and Elsa bonding with the Northuldra, the anticolonialist themes, The Next Right Thing, and more.

But at the same time, I argue that my case against other aspects of the film is robust, cohesive, and correct.

And to the friends that can see I am writing not to be a hater, but in good faith with actual analysis and discussion in mind - you mean the world to me. Thank you.

Sorry, this became kind of a vent in itself.

[andypantsx3]

This is going to sound weird, but do you have any tips on how to gain traction as a fanfic writer? I've been trying for years and I get next to no interaction on my writing. I know I shouldn't care because I should be writing for myself, but it's still frustrating to see other writers get thousands of notes, and reblogs and asks praising their fics and I get maybe 20 likes. I've been looking into discord fandom groups but a lot of them don't allow people over 30, and I don't do well with busy groups anyway. I try to be active on my blog, and interact with other people and make myself approachable, but I'm getting so incredibly tired of talking to an empty space. Sorry, I think I ended up venting instead >_<

WARNING: DISCOURSE AHEAD

Omg hello my love!! First of all, I'm so sorry you feel this way! I have so many conflicting thoughts on this, let me try to get them in order for you!!

I guess, let me first start with some tips that I think actually answer your question, and then I'll just monologue about the ways I've been thinking about fandom recently, and you can skip that part if you wanna!

Part 1: Actual Thoughts on Your Question (lol)

I am possibly not in the best position to ask about this because I mostly happened to be in the right place at the right time, publishing my fics in the early part of the pandemic when people were more actively engaging in the fandom. But in my experience, outside of discord groups, other good ways to meet people and get your work out there are joining zines & collabs.

I'm not completely up-to-date with what the accounts are now that track these things, but there are several tumblrs and twitter accounts like BNHA Zines that exist to retweet & publicize zine posts. Look for zines that are in the interest check & application stages!! You can apply during the application phase and the good thing is that most zines will ask for an application piece and will judge you on your work rather than your follower count!!

Collabs are usually even easier because many of them are just open to whoever wants to join! I've only participated in server collabs but I've seen several posts cross my dash that are open to anyone. I'd probably monitor the collaboration and x reader tags on tumblr and join in on anything that looks fun!!

Another thing that I've noticed people do a lot is self-reblog their fics a couple times just to maximize their circulation. I've seen a lot of moots trying to make sure they hit good hours for different time zones and different days of the week to ensure their followers are at least aware that they've posted something if they don't have notifs on (I don't have notifs on so I'm grateful for these because otherwise I miss a lot!!). Even I have srb'd a time or two if I'm particularly proud of something lol.

And I think, if I also wanted to be a shark about things, I would try to get in on the ground floor of a fandom in its early stages!! For example, the second season of JJK is coming out soon and it's sure to bring a wave of new readers to the JJK fandom, especially for the characters like Gojo and Getou who look like they're gonna be the main focus of the season.

I think if you wanted to be extra sharp about things, you might time a fic release with some of the first couple episodes of a new season where you can be sure more people than usual will be poking around in the tags!! And if your fic is published during the early stages of a fandom, it's going to have more eyes on it overall than a fic published towards the conclusion of the series.

Anyway this is what I could think of. I hope this advice is practical and useful!! Now onto me blathering.

Part 2: Resisting Influencer Culture in Fandom Spaces

This part might be kind of controversial. I want to first acknowledge how easy it is for me to think and say these sorts of things when I'm already more than pleased with the amount of engagement I get. And I want to recognize that it is so, so deeply human to want recognition, community, and support for the things that we write.

I think it is so completely natural that you want interaction on your writing. All of us totally do, otherwise we wouldn't be publishing it publicly. If our work was truly, singularly for us and us alone, we'd keep it in the drafts lol. We put it out there hoping for praise and appreciation and connection, and in my opinion there is no shame in that.

So, admission time: I also definitely compare myself to other writers, and I have several times thought about transitioning more towards the type of content that drives higher note counts on tumblr: smuttier one-shots usually under 10k! I can see a huge difference in terms of just my own work on how my one-shots typically do in comparison to chaptered fics. And I definitely see how fast smutty imagines shoot up there in terms of note count.

But I was listening to a podcast episode recently on trying to sort of transition away from a metrics-focused approach to fandom. In the podcast, they talk about how in trying to legitimize fanfic as a literary mechanism, we've also sort of accidentally subjected it to our capitalist-influencer-mindset, where we see fic as more legitimate the more kudos it gets or the more followers it nets you, because in traditional influencer spaces, those followers are potential capital.

I'm definitely not saying you or I see people as potential revenue streams, but I think probably neither of us are immune to the culture at large, and we both probably carry some of internalized sense of our own value based on metrics, reach, and influence. And that sucks!!!!

Fandom, of all things, is supposed to be a specifically anti-capitalist space. We can't make money off of fanfic or fanart (legally, anyway lol), and we're all not the owners of the franchises either so none of our takes are necessarily more "valid" or weightier than others!! We're all supposed to just be trading stories around a campfire with no thought to their literary merit or monetary value. We're just supposed to enjoy the stories.

So, I don't know what the right answer is about how to try to resist the influences of our capitalist culture at large; I'm hoping someone smarter than me will tell me. But I do know that in fanfic, the value of your story can absolutely never be determined by how much engagement you get. Because fandom is not about metrics, and there is no inherent value in metrics. There is only the fun you had creating the story, and the depth of the connection you made with someone over it--even if that's just one other person.

And so I personally am at least trying to resist the lure of transitioning to smutty one-shots even though I think a lot of people would like that. Because what I like doing is writing my little 30k multi-chaps; those are my fave kinds of stories to tell, I'm not letting my metrics tell me what I should be writing.

I hope, at the very least, you know that your worth and the value of your story is not defined by how many other people have read it. And if you ever wanna chat more about this let me know, I'm still figuring this all out myself and could use friends to explore it with!!

[urdinosaurs]

-ˏˋ 𝗥𝗨𝗟𝗘𝗦 ˊˎ

hey! you! please take a minute to read this before continuing further on my page!

BLOG RULES/WARNINGS

DNI if your racist, misogynistic, islamophobic, homophobic, zionistic, or spread any kind of hate or violence. you will be blocked and reported.

i don't care if minors interact with my non nsfw posts, just please don't be weird about it. the posts will be tagged that way, and warnings will always be there to let you know if it's safe or not. (spice is considered NSFW in my book)

however, do not expect the same treatment for NSFW works. if i see ageless/minor blogs interacting with my smut, reblogged smut, or anything NSFW, your blocked. i have warnings on every post, and by now, you should have seen it on enough of nsfw posts to know that minors aren't allowed.

I may write about mature or heavy topics such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, mental health, etc... please read the warnings and use your discretion. i would recommend that only adults read it, but ultimately, it's your choice. don't blame me.

this is a secondary blog so i can not be your mutual, sorry :(

if you take any kind of inspiration or use any of my characters from my work please credit me! fanfiction takes a lot of time and effort and if your using anything of mine, i would like to be properly acknowledged.

INBOX RULES

do not by any means bring up topics such as rape, pedophilia, incest, etc...(you get the picture). 

i may write about mental health issues, but that does not mean i want discussions about it. tagging, sending, or texting in my inbox about big trigger topics like suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, and intrusive thoughts is a big no. 

politics and religion, personal questions, or venting are not permitted in my inbox. 

that said, i do very much enjoy interaction and would love to communicate with you all more, so please don't be shy!

WRITING RULES 

right now requests are closed but thirsts are welcome, and if i'm feeling it, i may write something for it, but please don't expect it

my writing is mainly directed toward female or afab readers. I will occasionally do gender-neutral. 

i would like not to write the reader with a specific race, religion, disorder, etc...

i may and will write for characters who are minors, but i will never age them up to write smut about them

i don't write about any hate, daddy kink, scat, vomiting, hard bdsm, vore, feet, gore involved in sex (no blood at all), noncon, incest, pedophilia, piss, raceplay, ageplay, sado-masochism, gunplay, etc... if your unsure whether to send it or not, if it's hardcore or involves some form of violence i probably wouldn't send it! 

if you don't see me currently talking about a fandom, then i am probably not a part of it and have no interest in writing it. 

please remember that i have a life outside of tumblr and i have had requests take months before. patience is all i ask of you. if i can't get to it or for whatever reason can't do it i will pm you or if you're an anon, post it on my blog so you know and can ask another writer if you want.  

however don't send the same request to multiple blogs. i've had it happen before. it's shitty. don't do it. 

that's it! if you have any questions feel free to ask! thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy my blog!

©urdinosaurs. do not copy, translate, modify, or repost my content onto other sites without my permission

[catboii]

((just a "little" (ha) update I guess, nothing major, just a note that I'm sorry if I post alot this week with seemingly no regard for my/my muse's vast presence on the dash, or if I end up writing alot of short weird drabbles to vent.... if there's questionable stuff it'll be tagged like always <3

I understand if you need to unfollow me to keep your dash clear for other people if you're mobile etc. or if you need to blacklist my muse's url for a bit if it's overwhelming

After xmas everything may have settled and if you wanna refollow then I'd welcome you back and wouldn't ask any questions. your comfort (whatever that may classify as in the context) is my utmost priority!

normally I try not to clutter, and I try to keep general post reblogs minimal and just queue most of them. I'm just... not doing too good rn

then again it's a 50/50 that I'll be posting nothing at all, just making my muse's presence known if it wants to sorta wave at someone from the depths of my brain hell jail.

I'll still be checking in around xmas stuff bc this muse gives me v happy bubbly vibes whenever I write it and that's honestly what I need rn.

I'm sorry if your muse reblogs/replies to one of mine's posts or smth and I seemingly glance over it. I genuinely just didn't see it. I always try and respond to stuff, or if it doesn't know how to reply I at least acknowledge that my muse saw it by liking it. but I might not have the mental capacity to actually keep up w stuff

...

BASICALLY I'm either gonna be kinda quiet or rly hyperfixated on not being in my own head for the next week or so.

I'm obv stressed anyway bc I need to do xmas shopping still and it's a struggle bc online it probs won't come in time. we're going "late night shopping" on thursday though so hopefully we can get a bunch of stuff then

but mainly an old work friend of mine passed away today. He's been unwell for a few years, and I dunno if he knew what it was and was just keeping it quiet, or if they genuinely couldn't work it out. last I heard he was getting MRIs.

I had a complicated relationship w him (positive) bc he was either bipolar or had BPD like me (although he wasn't diagnosed with either, but it was obvious he at least had bipolar), and if you know anything abt BPD you know what an FP (favourite person) is, and we were sort of each other's when we were working together? I think. like I say he wasn't diagnosed, but it felt like that. we hit it off really quick and were both really comfortable with each other, and he was just the sweetest most supportive person. he was one of my FPs, which basically means my brain was cursed to be in intense friendlove with him. He would tell me that he loved me and appreciated my friendship, was always saying you need to tell people you love them, however you can, however you mean it, because you don't know if you'll ever get to tell them again

he always showed off the little things I made him and made sure everyone knew exactly where he got the silly little origami animals on his desk, or who made his juggling balls that were his favourite thing in the whole world bc I made them for him by hand, and picked the fabric out specifically for him.

One time around xmas, bc of covid, we had these big plastic screen dividers between our desks and I used posca paint pens to draw him a HUGE Robin in a scarf and santa hat (his name was Robin and people always got him little Robin themed things, he loved them) on the one by his manager desk, like a name tag, but Facilities told him he needed to clean it off and chastised him thinking he did it, and you're "not supposed to vandalise work equipment" even though they're literally washable and it was xmas. we were sticking decorations everywhere, how is it any different? but he played along but he was really mad. He didn;t wanna say it was me that did it, because he thought I might've gotten in trouble, but he also wanted to argue that I'd put alot of work into it. I hadn't put that much in, it was just for fun and I liked drawing it, and he got to see it! That was the important part. and I said so. but I cleaned it off and drew him a new Robin on a piece of paper and he kept it at his desk like a retired picket sign, and told the story to anyone who would be polite enough to listen

mostly though, he gendered me correctly (and he was in his 60s so being so passionate abt they/them pronouns was just really sweet, though he was clearly bi but still in the closet, so it was maybe a little projection, in a way, or just straight up quiet queer solidarity), and literally agressively made sure everyone else did too, when he realised I'd been just letting people at work use whatever pronouns, he got really proactive and made sure all my paperwork was marked as "them" officially (with my permission). if anyone misgenered me he would get visably annoyed or disgusted, and there were a couple people who "forgot" (every time) and he actually got angry at them about it and reported them for harassment, which might've been a little extreme, but I honestly felt so validated, and I'm tearing up thinking about it. I don't think anyone's ever fought that hard in my corner, especially after only knowing me for, at that point, less than a year.

We worked together in a couple different parts of the business for a couple years, until some stuff happened that I shouldn't say bc I need my rp blog(s) to stay far away from my professional life, but we were gonna be working together doing something else, but it wasn't his thing, it was stressful and there were other reasons, but he just lost it and walked out.

we had a little joke when we were training before he left, he had this soft toy robin that he let me borrow because I was really anxious, and I gave it a little notepad and pencil and wrote something silly on it for when he got it back each time. usually some out of context joke on what we learned that day, so we could both laugh about it. but when he left I still had it, and I messaged him saying I would get it back to him sometime, but he said to keep it to remind me of him.

I put it away to keep it safe, but I'm gonna have to go and find it, because it's one of the only physical things I have left of him.

[maryland-officially]

Trying to understand smth, not being rude here. You've said a few times I think, that endo systems can be upsetting and stuff. I agree with this, to me it feels like trying to take away from the experiences of trauma systems. If you acknowledge that a group's rhetoric is/can be harmful, why support them so wholeheartedly? /nbr ofc

Ah, I knew I would get this question,,,

hm.

I support endogenic systems. All endogenic systems. (well like, mostly. radqueers are tricky, because we have differing opinions in the system about them. this blog is radqueer neutral because I don't have enough rq's interacting to set up a dni.)

Yes, people can be triggered by them. This is fact.

This doesn't mean they're invalid.

It can be uncomfortable, I couldn't say why because we don't have DID. We don't have OSDD. We don't have OSDID. (We think, at least. We have not told our therapist about our plurality because they tell our parents, like, everything. We have not looked through the DSM-5 enough to say either way that we could, and are not claiming to have any of these disorders.)

But I would say they feel invalidated around them. Or generally uncomfortable. It is okay to be uncomfortable.

It is okay to want to avoid people.

That is okay.

That doesn't mean endos are invalid, though. We don't believe endogenic systems are not valid.

We just care about people's mental health. We think that people should block tags, if they wish.

I get triggered by reblog bait - we have OCD. that's why I'm constantly asking people to tag it.

I know that they mean well. I know that it's not meant to harm people with OCD. I know it's not meant to give them a moral dilemma. I know they do that for fun.

But it still fucking sucks and I avoid it at all costs.

That's okay.

It's okay to avoid things that make you uncomfortable or trigger you - and it doesn't matter whether or not that thing is valid.

There are systems that believe endogenics are valid that still have them in their dni. I will not list them because I feel like they will be harassed. Because people are cruel, or they don't know how to deal with things.

But there's a really cool comic artist I like that does! They don't want endogenic systems or pro endos to reblog their stuff, they're okay with likes, though. so you wont see it on my page. But you can see it in my likes, I guess!

AA-- sorry for ranting ;; /neu (I use ranting neutrally, not as a synonym for venting)

[homocidalpotat]

Intro post under the cut!

Please read it though, I sorted it out so it should be very simple to read :3

Basic introduction

This post is probably on the boring side, and quite lengthy but if you can be bothered to read it I would really appreciate it.

URL stuff: Link! (in case my url offends/confuses you)

Name: Jasper

Gender: Alexigender/genderqueer/genderfluid/non-binary, whatever, I don't massively care lol

Pronouns: They/them mostly but I'm happy anything other than she/her

Theriotypes (yeah, I'm a therian/otherhearted!): Bats, foxes, Burmese mountain dogs, moths, pangolins

MBTI and Zodiac: INTJ, Scorpio (I don't believe in zodiac sign meanings or anything but if you want to know, here!)

Other blogs/sideblogs: link

DNI

Discriminators, racists, homophobes, aphobes, transphobes, sexists, terfs, nazis, radfems, radqueers, anti-endos, antifurs, anti therians, proshippers, pedophiles, rapists, haters, donation blogs

I am a minor, so don't tag or show me anything that might not be appropriate. Literally anything NSFW. Anything 18+. Anything sexual at all (plus, I'm sex-repulsed) is a really big no.

Please don't harass me- with spam, in my DMs/askbox; about ANYTHING. If you have a problem with something I say or do, just talk to me calmly? It's not the end of the world if you don't like my posts. Block me if you want, I don't really care.

For mutuals and other people that tag me- PLEASE DON'T TAG ME IN STUFF ABOUT BAD MENTAL HEALTH!!! This includes trauma dump chains.

Donations/gofundmes

As I'm a minor with no money I can't donate to any funds for anything or anyone. I might not reblog donation posts if there are triggering subjects on it, but if I feel able to, I will. Please don't send me asks/DMs for donations/help, here is why I have said this . I mean any asks, no matter your situation or nationality. I'm not doing favouritism.

Link to Daily Clicks for Palestine: here

I made a petition for perfume use in schools here, please sign it! Here's the post about it.

Queer stuff

I'm asexual and sex repulsed, but I'm not going to hate on sex-positive or kink or anything! I am also genderqueer/genderfluid/alexigender, so I don't mind what terminology or pronouns you use on me but I prefer more neutral ones. I don't know how to label my sexuality but I'm just calling it queer. I'm in a loving, long-term romantic relationship with the wonderful @names-confuse-me (they're called Erin and he's awesome!).

I will always respect your pronouns and identity and I am a safe person to speak to about this (and most other things). If I don't know your pronouns I will use they/them until I find out. Sometimes I don't fully understand an identity but I will always respect and acknowledge it!

Queer dictionary (genuinely a lifesaver): Link!!! And here's the link to the post I made about it!

Mental Health stuff

I am officially diagnosed with autism, and I might have OCD. My parents think I have ADHD, as well as probably synthensia. But in short I am neurodivergent, so would really appreciate a safe environment for me, if you can provide it!

I also have vivid hallucinations, panic attacks, I self harm, etc. I have a vent blog so I won't mention it here, and I always use trigger warnings. This shouldn't be an issue but if you really dont want to see that stuff, don't follow me probably.

Sometimes people tag/dm/ask/reblog something to me and I don't respond. I'm not ghosting you, I don't hate you, you haven't done anything wrong. I am a depressed teenager with strict parents and little-to-no motivation half the time. Sorry if this bothers you but I just can't sometimes.

Please don't purposefully harass or upset me. You will be blocked and reported.

Here is a post I made about my boundaries for people coming to vent to me: link

Note about my content

Everything I say is gender neutral (e.g. dude, bro, girlie) but I will always use your preferred pronouns and be as affirming for you as possible. If you aren't okay with me referring to you with gendered words that you don't like, even ironically, just shout! I won't be upset and I will stop straight away

Everything is platonic as well. I might say things like "I love you" or a silly, sappy thing but it is completely platonic. Again, if you don't like that, I can very easily stop. I do say romantic things to Erin, but you can avoid that with a tag I mention just below this!

Sometimes I might post something rash, rude or wrong without realising. Please call me out on this sort of thing, and I'd really appreciate it if you do so calmly. I am neurodivergent, which might excuse me for posting something like that, but it won't justify it.

This blog is pretty much entirely SFW. I don't often reblog things that are NSFW (depending on your definition of NSFW, I might never have), but if I think something is even slightly inappropriate or triggering, I will tag it <3

My tags, that I will try to use (but often forget to):

Original posts: jasper did a thing

Reblogs: jasper saw a thing

Conversational reblogs: jasper is doing the speech

Asks: jasper spreads their limited wisdom

Being romantic with my partner: channel simp

What I post/interests

Stuff I like: Nature (yes! all of it... except most molluscs), music, being whimsical, understanding the world around me, being gay (and doing crimes), making other people feel happy, my dog and two rabbits, being creative, dinosaurs, geology, going exploring anywhere, big long walks, my partner, gaming, binge watching, making friends, i-will-add-to-this-list-when-i-can-think-of-stuff

Media I interact with: Legend of Zelda (specifically TOTK, BOTW, EOW and Skyward Sword), Jurassic Park/World, the Owl House, the Lord of the Rings, Brooklyn 99, the Good Place, Heartstopper, Doctor Who, Portal, Delicious in Dungeon, Green Day, Dead Boy Detectives, Mouthwashing

Ships I interact with: Ineffable Spouses (Good Omens), Sidlink (TOTK/BOTW), Johnlock (BBC Sherlock) and BlackBonnet (OFMD), Lumity (TOH), Raeda (TOH), a bunch of other TOH ships, Farcille (DID), Kabru (DID), Payneland (DBD)

I don't always post a huge amount of some of these fandoms/ships/media, so if you plan on following me for them, maybe just have a snoop around my account for a bit first. You might find that I hardly ever interact with the content. Maybe if you prompt me to I will. The lists don't necessarily include everything I like because I don't have that memory.

On this blog you can expect posts/reblogs about the fandoms in, memes, shitposts, and just a friendly face to chat to. I love asks! I'm always happy to receive one (PLEASE send me asks I'm lonely).

Mutuals

I will add your username to a Google Sheets, where I list whether or not I can tag you in certain things. If you haven't checked it out already, please respond to this post, mutuals! It's purely for your benefit! I will try and update the document every time I get a new mutual but I don't always remember.

I hope I can add some more amazing tumblrinas to my list! The community here is delightful <33

Honourable mentions:

@names-confuse-me my dearly beloved boyfriend/partner

@yourlocalbadgerscales my adoptive mother but also genuinely one of my best friends

@krurly my irl best friend and amazing artist !!

@yourlocalxiaosimp skrunkly friend who i love and appreciate very much, and is my go-to fandom person because i can just badger away at you

Credits

My header image is from Pinterest images that I put together and I made my profile picture. Credit to @visceracture and @zack-agere for making the dividers in this post. Thank you!

[hotshotshitshow]

im not trying to be mean forreal but you arent gonna have people rbing your stuff if you don't tag it! 2 give an example your most recent piece has 7 tags total, two of which are personal tags that no ones gonna search so lets say 5. in addition to the ones you included which werent bad you should also include stuff like the medium (ex: #traditional art) and of course #artists on tumblr. tagging aesthetics that fit also goes a long way. plus a (no guilt) caption requesting that people boost your work. something important to keep in mind with tumblr is that its really good for circulating art LONG term rather than most social media platforms which prioritize feeding the neverending ratrace for whatevers trending. I am in no way a big name artist but my most circulated posts come from people tag searching and queueing. obvs theres usually gonna be the most attention over the first few days but also give it time! don't be afraid to repost or find niches who will circulate your stuff. post art and then link it in oc discords, too this isnt meant to admonish you btw more it makes me sad to see you get discouraged. you have a unique and compelling artstyle with genuinely swagful characters so the idea of you peacing out saddens my heart. i hope this helps, cya

Hey first off. I genuinely appreciate this, I am ngl I knew I shouldn't have posted that last night cuz I knew I'd be embarrassed about it later and well!! Here I am, feeling like a damn fool!! Sincerely tho, your words do mean a lot.

However, the one thing that trips me up is that back when I did use Tumblr more regularly, like several years ago, they had made it so that only the first five tags on a post were searchable, and everything else wasn't visible in tag searches. Has this changed? It's been a long time and I have no idea what's changed with Tumblr in the past few years but I've just been operating on the assumption that only the first five tags "count." Also I am just ... Not good at knowing what to tag things other than in the most straightforward way possible 😬

I definitely absolutely get discouraged way way way too quickly and I acknowledge that, it comes from years of a building frustration of posting on social media and never feeling like it goes anywhere while also watching those around me grow their followings. It's come to a point where it feels like if something I post "fails" then it tanks my mood on a hair trigger. And it's not healthy!!! This is largely why I've stopped posting publicly anywhere. Bc the reaction I've built up is so instantaneous and intense that it's completely unhealthy for me. Sorry to vent at you!! It's all just sort of coming out. I've absolutely poisoned the way I view interaction on social media for myself and it feels very entrenched and I don't really know what to do about it.

I want to share my art with people and I want them to like my art and asking for reblogs directly on art posts is something that always felt gross to me but idk maybe that's what I gotta do. I have this notion in my mind tho that if my art is good and people like it, they'll reblog it because they want to, not because I asked them to. It doesn't feel like people are sharing my art bc they genuinely like it if they're doing it bc I asked them to. And then people don't reblog my art, so it gets interpreted as "well, I guess nobody thinks my art is very good, otherwise they'd want to share it!"

This all feels very immature of me and I hate that this is how I feel. I definitely am very deeply in the mindset now of "well, nobody appreciated my art much when I did post it, so now nobody gets to see it anymore." Idk how to grow past this tbh. I am absolutely only shooting myself in the foot. Oh well whatever!!!

Anyway. Thank you again for this, and also if you did actually read this, thank you for your time and energy. I don't think you were being mean at all, you said what is true, I think. I hope you have a lovely day.

[jcbbby]

fuck it. this is a very long probably all over the place post about something that's very personal and I'm honestly shitting myself posting it literally on the internet but I just like, need to vent and talk about it. I don't even know why I'm posting this.

I think I've come to terms with the fact that I'm asexual.

and that's really weird to admit. I resent it, honestly. I really dislike this about myself. and it's sort of embarrassing to admit too? especially given the content I create, reblog, and things I say in the tags/on my own posts that would not suggest that about me…

I frequently feel really bad about it in real life and struggle heavily with not feeling adequate enough as a human, or like I’m a bad wife for not having sex as often as my husband probably would like, or that idk I’m defective or something. sometimes I doubt myself and think it’s all in my head or think about if I can do something differently to change it, to “fix” myself. because I DO still find people attractive in general and I do get turned on and feel horny, I like...enjoy thinking about sex and feeling pleasure, but I just…don’t wanna physically have sex with another person about it? like it makes me feel so overwhelmingly guilty if I do pleasure myself, because I'm like "well, my husband is RIGHT THERE though. why don't I want to share this experience with him?"

I’ve always been attracted to people and thought like “wow I want them to ruin me and fuck me senseless immediately” and I can fantasize about having sex and be into it, but then if it comes down to actually acting on it, if I'm with them in the moment and things progress past making out, I’m like “wait, no. actually nevermind, no thank you.”

and it’s shit like that that makes me feel like maybe it’s just anxiety or some other sort of mental thing, or my insecurities with my body that I just need to work through rather than just what it is for me. but I don't think that's the case. like I don't have any trauma or anything like that that would interfere. I think that's just me and who I am.

to me, sex has often felt just awkward. and I mean sure, it can get awkward. but I can’t ever get past that personally. it doesn’t feel natural to me? like with any partners I’ve had. it’s never felt like this primal thing that is intrinsic to me, that makes sense to be doing. I’ve ended up enjoying myself by the end plenty of times (though I have rarely ever finished when having sex aside from maybe a few times...idk sex can still end up being fun for me by the end without finishing. more layers to this fucking dilemma I'm having.) but I just usually overall feel very out of place in a sexual situation and it feels very foreign. the only time I HAVEN'T felt this way, is when on LSD honestly. or like EXTREMELY drunk.

I’ve also been on zoloft for like 5 years now, infamous for decimating libido, and that doesn’t help lmao. but even before I was medicated, I could never really feel interested in the action of sex, I always would say I could go the rest of my life without it.

idk. I just struggle very much with it a lot and feel bad about it literally all the time, especially being married. not that my husband ever makes me feel bad for it, he’s never once been pushy or angry with me about our sex life or lack thereof. I just feel bad for it on my own, because I WANT to want sex like a "normal" partner. but I am what I am. and I think I'm just asexual. and that’s okay. it just doesn't feel okay a lot.

I’m comfortable with the idea of sex I just don’t often want to have it. I can joke about it and talk about it and obviously I can write write/read about it in detail lol but yeah…

idk I just have really been feeling the need to talk about it lately, because I don't feel like I can talk about it with my friends or anything. I've talked about it with my husband of course, but not in depth. he knows that's just how I am and he acknowledges it's not my fault and that he is not upset by it. but he doesn't know how it's been weighing this heavily on me. he made a comment some weeks ago that he didn't mean anything by, it was more just a statement of fact in a joking way about how infrequently we have sex, but it just really inadvertently hurt me and I've just been stuck on it ever since, mentally. because I really don't want things to be this way, but that's just the way they are...unfortunately. it sucks. I shouldn't feel this way, if it's just who I am and lots of other people are similar. but I do.

anyway that’s it. I feel vulnerable and exposed and embarrassed and sad now. but I needed to say it. I should definitely probably see a therapist. bye.

[observers-journal]

Alright so, this particular anon (not nonnie anymore, sorry) is off on a whining session, and seems to have some beef with @cutelatinagirl. And all of us.

Posting this for full context. Anon is salty as fuck. People these days have no civility of engaging in a conversation. Anon has been around for a whole, noticed everything that we do, and now come on us venting as if it matters. We are not that important, anon. Nor are you.

Here's my response. And this is not to anon. This is to all haters/people who have issues, and some context for my lovely new people here.

I have always supported and continue to support Tenoch Huerta. When news of the allegation broke up, I was on vacation and traveling for work and not on any social media. I saw Tenoch issue a statement on Instagram and only then came back here to understand everything. Then I, including several others, posted, reblogged, and commented on several facts as the situation evolved and it became clearer who the true culprit is. That led us down to a rabbit hole of MER, LV MZ, VB and all of PP and Brujas del mar and the radfem movement. Now when things are very clear, I clearly posted how I'm going to go back to just Tenoch's posts full time. Two reasons, filling his tag with positivity and work and not just the most vile people and bots. Secondly, because I decide whatever the fuck I want to do. I associate with TH, not MER or her entire buffoon gang. I will still reblog/comment/post things as they evolve and if I feel they're essential to TENOCH, else I don't give a fuck about any of these people.

This leads me to the warning on my page to which people don't seem to pay attention to, so here it is again

Now about that very immature remark by anon on @cutelatinagirl 's page: people throw around the word parasocial these days just like the word trauma. The need to sound intellectual without actually taking the effort to understand things is unfortunately today's reality. No one here is delusional, except you maybe anon, for thinking Maya will always be Tenoch's friend. We write letters coz we feel like. We like, post, comment and reblog because we feel like. We will do whatever the fuck we want to do, okay?

This might leave you seething, anon, but Tenoch has in fact, thanked many of us individually. Oopsie! Now you can go and whine somewhere else coz I'm not gonna entertain you anymore.

As for my lovely Tunitas, another excuse to reiterate why we are such a lovely community:

1. We are very diverse: nationality, age, race, sexuality, education, careers, you name it, we have it.

2. We engage in respectful discourse always.

3. We doubled down as investigators during the the whole MER fiasco. And the rebozo one too. We substituted for media and journalists and investigators.

4. Our support is unwavering. For Tenoch, and for each other.

5. We have defended Tenoch, defended his activism, called out racism, called out blatant sexualization, cultural inappropriation. Promoted his work. Supported each other.

6. Helped ward off some real evil forces out there, and promoted real facts. Organized ourselves. And very soon we will be seeing an actual op-ed by our beloved tunita.

7. Tenoch knows us, has recognized and acknowledged us. Both in groups, and individually.

Maya Zapata is Tenoch's best friend. They have been friends for over 12+ years. The fact that people try and bully Maya is totally wrong. All of Tenoch's friends have kept quiet about this whole drama, and that is not a coincidence. Tenoch can fight his own battle. Seeing the comments on that Maya post was very disheartening. People demand Maya speak, but so many of the fans here have never written one post to support Tenoch. They only post gifs and never retweet the evidence. The hypocrisy is very loud

I can see you support Maya, nonnie and I won't do anything to change your opinion.

Sure, I agree other friends of his have not posted, but how do we know they're not supporting him in-person?

Number of years in any relationship doesn't matter. At all. If. The. Relationship. Is. Toxic. No matter what relationship it is.

How am I expected to react when Maya bullied Luz Valdez online (on Twitter), let the whole rebozo fiasco blow up, say nothing to support Tenoch, instead make faces and show arrogance and mock him without saying his name in the video below?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CrOgW3oJR3a/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

She didn't say anything then, she didn't say anything when these allegations came out. She is speaking now, when there's no evidence, when MER is too deep in her own shit, when Tenoch probably has something coming up in his own career and is doing fine. Coincidence? I think not.

EDIT: "Maya Zapata is Tenoch's best friend" is the funniest joke I have heard the whole day 🤣

[storyweaverofgondor]

. . . I’m really missing talking about Cats with alonz-ho today.

(do not reblog)

[lover-of-skellies]

I'm half asleep rn and yeah. Likes vs reblogs ratio venting (for lack of better words) under the cut

Currently thinking about the likes to reblogs ratio that I typically get on my art or writing, aside from any self reblogs that I do, and just,,,,

I'm starting to consider doing raffles or something where the more times a person reblogs my work, the more entries they get, or something like that. I shouldn't HAVE to do that, but I can't think of any other way to get people to reblog

Likes are nice, I appreciate them, but they don't do anything to help me. They tell me that you think my work is ok, but that you don't actually care enough to share it around. Seeing how few people actually care enough to share the things I've drawn/written makes me less interested in creating, in all honesty. I'm still creating mostly for me, and that's because no one else wants to do anything to create with me, if that makes any sense. Like. Start reblogging, seriously. There's a way to do it instantly, you don't even have to slap any tags on there, just do it, for the love of god

Seeing when people like my stuff enough to reblog it makes me extremely happy, and it motivates me to make more. For real, some reblogs is literally all I wanna see. Incorrect quotes don't count on this, I'm literally only talking about my writing and drawing, and my OC stuff (ESPECIALLY the OC stuff, tbh)

It's fine to temporarily like things if you intend to come back later and reblog it, but don't just let those things sit and collect internet dust. When you like something and don't reblog, it basically says that you acknowledge that the post exists and you vibe with it (or whatever), but that you don't really care. Ordinarily I wouldn't make such a big deal out of it, but it becomes a big deal to me when I spend 7-9 hours, sometimes more, on a project that no one cares enough about to share