#if you want to go back even earlier this also goes with tell that mick's ''bury me in memory'' line imo

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

Alone Together / Don't You Know Who I Think I Am

[formulaocean]

Just some thoughts on almost driver team pairings and the potential butterfly effects from each, all very much AU.

Lewis Hamilton decided Mercedes was just too big a risk from McLaren in 2013. This resulted in their second choice (Hulk) joining Nico Rosberg instead, both giving Hulk podiums and wins and giving Rosberg the 2014 championship a couple years ahead of schedule. Maybe Lewis as Niki Lauda’s number 1 choice in a fading McLaren still joins Mercedes in 2015 but he’s joining a team where Nico is their most recent champion and as such their competition over the next few years is less resentful and Nico has the confidence to fight without mind games . In short brocedes but they were both champions before becoming teammates and it changes everything.

Carrying on from this thought in normal 2016 Nico Rosberg tells Toto he’s retiring at the end of the season regardless of the outcome far earlier than he actually does and they do manage to sign Hulk before he signs with Renault again ending his podium drought.

Toto gets his wish and when Valteri is struggling in 2018 on his one year contracts he actually does manage to sign Max Verstappen from 2019. Does this mean there’s a Max v Lewis championship battle ahead of schedule? I can definitely see it for 2020 in the HAM-BOT-VER podium era as well as 2021 of course. Knock on effects involve Daniel Ricciardo staying on at Red Bull and although I can’t see him beating Lewis or Max in 2021 the dominance of the car in 2022/3 may have made him a world champion if losing his edge was a result of his McLaren days rather than a natural progression. If it was a natural progression it is also more likely that Charles could have had a proper shot at the championship in 2022 as he did beat Checo (barely) even with Ferrari being Ferrari that year and it would be interesting to see how dominant Red Bull would have been in 2023 potentially without a driver that’s 15 seconds ahead- I can see multiple race winners for a start even if they get the championship.

A long shot that would likely never have happened but Sebastian Vettel returns to Red Bull in 2021. Ferrari drops him early on in 2020 (let’s say Checo never won that glorious race and he stays on at what becomes Aston Martin for a straightforward swap) and Red Bull was very much looking for a more experienced driver and what’s a better storyline than having Seb return to partner Max? This has ramifications of if Seb got his edge back and it was a three way title fight in 2021 plus he stays longer in the sport with a fast car, or if he was more a Checo/Valteri figure but managed to take valuable points off Lewis (let’s say Silverstone) for a less controversial end to the championship. You also get more of a relationship between Max and Seb instead of just parallels and likely some weirdness from Charles about that too. It’s definitely a bit of a middle finger to Ferrari as well.

The Ferrari Driver Academy does the sensible thing and does not listen to Haas about wanting German sponsorship. Thus Mick goes to partner Kimi at Alfa Romeo instead and gets a more functional team to develop in. Would definitely be curious to see if that would have made a difference!

Ron Dennis does not put a rookie in the fastest car on the grid but still speed runs his progression. As such Fernando gets his third world championship and Lewis still gets his a year later (sorry Kimi).

Oscar Piastri does in fact go to Alpine. This could mean Daniel Ricciardo stays on another year at McLaren with no broken contract when the car actually does get fast (would be interesting to see if he could make that work or not) and also that they might have a spare seat in 2025 where they would court one of their favourite sons for a Carlando reunion in a McLaren that could potentially fight Ferrari long term. Alternatively Alpine is breaking apart at the seems and Mark Webber still does his a plus managing and gets Oscar out of there for 2024 anyway. For 2023 it would mean that Pierre Gasly stays on at Alpha Tauri and that whole mess of Alpha Tauri musical chairs is avoided.

BONUS. Honda pushes for Max to join Aston Martin in 2026 just as he’s potentially looking for an out from Red Bull amidst new engine regulations and an uncomfortable environment. We know they want to work with Max again already. There may not be a championship fight but we do get Alonso and Max as a chaotic and sensational teammate pairing doing more than the car is capable of and a team where all drivers, manufacturers, and financial backers are properly pushing in the right direction. Or maybe he joins after Fernando takes a step away from driving and is in the back room pulling in those points with Lance still around.

BONUS. I just like to think of the pure chaos that would be a George and Max teammate pairing that is not going to happen but would be pure gold. Max gets infinitely annoyed at Mercedes for not knowing how to build a car but has enough experience fighting for wins and podiums in previous not too competitive Red Bull cars that he makes the best of it but George makes it very very hard at times and he is so not used to a teammate that won’t just get out of his way at this point that the “princess dickhead” tiffs become very common. George has a bunch of resentment that he’s not treated as first driver even now and from his side he’s not about to let Max pass just because he’s Max Verstappen and it’s just very funny to watch. Alternatively (in very much crack territory here) Horner has enough of Toto posturing about Max and signs Checo for one more year before stealing George in 2026. Toto shows up for a duel at dawn.

[arrowflier]

prompt, if you have the time: ian and mickey talking about ian's bipolar in a really chill manner. like they are married and their convo after securing business made me think about how many other convos we missed 😔❤️

Disclaimer: I don’t know what it’s like to actually live with bipolar. That makes me nervous because I want to do right by it, so if I miss the mark on prompts like this, please do let me know. Also, this starts out a bit dramatic because when aren't they, but I promise they chill out.

Take Off Your Mask (don’t compensate for me)

Mickey is at the bathroom sink, getting ready to brush his teeth, when Ian comes in behind him. He watches the reflection of that messy red hair get closer as he squeezes minty toothpaste onto his brush—well, onto a brush, he’s not totally sure whose is whose at this point. Ian’s arms wrap easily around his waist, hands dipping just a little too low for common decency, and Mickey leans back into him as Ian bends to breathe against his neck.

“Mmm, again?” Mickey murmurs as Ian licks that sensitive patch of skin just behind his ear, those broad, warm palms heavy on his hips. “Didn’t I just take care of that?” he adds, pushing his hips back.

But Ian shifts so they don’t make contact, their lower halves stubbornly separated even as he plasters his chest to Mickey’s back, and Mickey knows something is wrong.

“You uh…” he starts, suppressing the sudden fluttering feeling in his chest, the one you get when you stand up too fast. He swallows. “You feelin’ good, man?”

Ian pauses behind him, and Mickey can feel him breathing. In and out, in and out, but just a touch too fast. He knows despite his efforts, the words came out cautious, came out concerned. And Ian had definitely noticed.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Ian tries casually, bringing sharp teeth to nibble at Mickey’s ear. “Can’t I just be turned on by my husband?”

“Yeah,” Mickey agrees, “sure you can.” He pulls away though, just enough to get Ian looking in the mirror, and meets his eyes through their reflections in the glass.

“But you’re not, though,” Mickey says, and Ian shoves away from him with a heavy sigh.

“Never mind,” he mutters, looking at the floor. He starts to leave, but Mickey’s having none of that, and sets his unused toothbrush down with a clatter to make a grab for Ian’s arm.

“Hey, wait,” he gets out before Ian is spinning on him again, pushing his hand away.

“I just wanted to do something for you,” Ian growls, leaving Mickey stunned with the sudden shift in attitude. “I know that wasn’t enough, earlier, I know I haven’t been enough. Not since they upped my fucking meds.”

“The fuck are you on about?” Mickey asks, completely mystified. “When did I say any of that?”

“Just now!” Ian bellows, and Mickey’s not having that, either.

“Yo,” he states firmly. “Knock that the fuck off.”

And Ian does. His eyes go wide at the iron in Mickey’s voice, and then he’s deflating. Like a balloon animal from the fair that you leave in your room for too long, he goes from overfilled and pressurized to a limp, wrinkled mess in no time flat.

“Sorry,” Ian manages softly. “I’ll just…” And then he’s leaving the room, leaving Mickey staring at the space where he had been, wishing he was better at all of this shit.

Mickey rubs his face with tired hands, then follows.

He finds Ian in their room, huddled on his side of the bed. The blankets are still kicked to the bottom of the mattress where they had left them, Ian’s toes tucked underneath as he sits with his knees to his chest.

Mickey sits on the edge next to him, facing him. Pokes at his leg until Ian looks up.

“Hey,” he says simply. “What’s goin’ on?”

Ian bites his lip, so Mickey reaches out and pokes that, too.

“You gotta talk to me, man,” he presses. “We’re married now, you can’t just run off on me.”

Mentioning their recent commitment is always a surefire way to get Ian smiling, and Mickey counts it as a victory when his husband’s lips can’t help but twitch upward. Ian doesn’t seem any closer to speaking, but Mickey can be patient. They have the time, now.

He doesn’t have to wait very long before Ian relaxes, letting his legs straighten on the bed and folding his hands loosely in his lap. Ian twists his wedding ring on his finger, stares at it, then reaches over and takes Mickey’s hand where it lies against the sheets.

“Been feeling off again,” he starts quietly, stroking the back of Mickey’s hand with his thumb.

Mickey raises an eyebrow, even though Ian can’t see it with his gaze fixed on the clasped hands.

“You think?” he offers dryly, and there’s that hint of a smile again.

“Yeah,” Ian admits. “I know. It’s just…” he hesitates, then pushes on. “I’m happy, you know? I am.”

Mickey nods.

“I am,” Ian repeats with emphasis, and Mickey just snorts.

“Didn’t say you weren’t, Ian, what the fuck?” He pulls his hand away and places it on Ian’s cheek, turning his face so he can look him in the eye.

“Just tell me what’s happenin’ here,” he asks. “You were fine earlier, so what got into that brain of yours to make you think somethin’ was wrong? That you had to make somethin’ up to me?”

Ian shrugs. “Don’t know,” he answers. “I never fucking know, that’s the problem." He laughs humorlessly. "And I can't even keep you from noticing."

Mickey can work with that.

“Alright,” he says casually. “Just the usual shit, then, huh?” He can see Ian’s eyes widen, but he doesn’t let him say anything, or turn away.

“Thought you might be on an upswing,” Mickey continues, “comin’ at me less than an hour after the last time and all. But that’s not it, obviously.”

Ian shakes his head, to the extent that he can with his chin in Mickey’s grasp.

“Downswing, then,” Mickey decides, and nods to himself. “You feel like shit, and that asshole brain of yours is tellin’ you you’re shit, too. Tellin’ you you’re not enough again, or that you’re too much?”

Ian doesn’t try to argue. “Not enough,” he admits, then, “maybe both,” a second later.

“Alright,” Mickey says again. Then he drops his hand from Ian’s face, straightens his back, and stares him in the eye.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do,” Mickey orders. “You’re gonna go take your meds—” he holds up a hand to stop Ian’s protest, “I know you didn’t do it yet, you moron, I was in the bathroom the whole time. So you’re gonna go take ‘em,” he repeats, “and I’m gonna call your doctor. I know they said to give it a couple weeks, but you shouldn’t be havin’ to deal with this.”

“Okay,” Ian agrees softly.

“Then,” Mickey continues, “you’re gonna get a shower and put on something clean, because I can’t make you feel better, but I can damn well make you comfortable.”

Ian sighs. “Mickey…” he starts, and Mickey think he knows what’s coming: the usual diatribe of you shouldn’t have to, this is my problem, just leave me alone.

But it never comes. Instead, Ian leans over, kisses him lightly on frowning lips.

“Thanks,” he whispers, and Mickey cracks a smile.

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” he mutters, but he knows Ian can tell that he’s pleased. “Go take your pills, bitch.”

He moves to let Ian off the bed. Before the other man can get through the door, though, he calls out to him again.

“Ian,” he says, and waits for him to turn around with questioning eyes. “Come downstairs when you’re done, yeah? We’ll lay on the sofa, watch some shitty movies or somethin’.”

Ian smiles. “Yeah? Gonna cuddle me better, Mick?”

Mickey bites his lip, but he knows he’s grinning back. “Maybe. You got a problem with that, tough guy?”

“No,” Ian says over his shoulder as he turns and heads back to the bathroom. “Not at all.”

"And Ian?" Mickey calls out one more time before Ian can close the bathroom door.

"No more hidin' this shit, yeah?" he says. "No more puttin' on a mask for me, no more tryin' to compensate for somethin' that ain't even there."

He moves toward the bedroom door, rests a hand on the jamb.

"I'm in this, okay?" he confirms. "So let me be fuckin' in it."

Ian's back tenses, then relaxes again.

"Okay, Mick," he agrees. "Okay."

And it might not be okay right then, but it will be.

They always will be.

[mikeshanlon]

i really enjoy the way young royals explores the theme of legacy and how detrimental it can be to have to live up to a legacy or be obsessed with reputation. (analysis and thoughts under the cut)

i think wilhelm resents the fact that he has to live up to the role of being in the royal family and yet is very afraid of ruining that legacy bc of all the pressure. before he was sent off to hillerska he went to a normal school and wanted normal people around him and was content with erik having to take on the responsibilities of crown prince. and when he does have to assume that role he says he can never be erik, that he’s always had to be compared to him and obviously doesn’t like that. but even before erik passed and he had to take on those duties he was afraid of fucking up the legacy of the crown, when he sees that sign in the hallway that says you are in charge of your own legacy after he holds hands with simon, his anxiety worsens. you can tell it’s been instilled in him for a long time that what is most important is the crown’s reputation rather than his own wants. in the scene where him and simon fight about alexander being caught, he obviously wants simon to stay, but he focuses on how him doing drugs will fuck up his family’s reputation if it gets leaked. as much as he cares for simon, his legacy and his duties are like this oppressive cloud hanging over him. 

i do think that wille cares for his family of course but to me it’s different that the sort of loyal unconditional care with simon and his sister/mom. erik and wille had unconditional love, erik understood how difficult being a prince in the public eye was, and wille obviously cared for him deeply and felt like he could to talk to him about issues. his relationship with the queen is much more strained, she wants a tailored, doctored representation of him in the media, he cannot be anxious and bite his nails, she makes all the decisions for him. family is important to wille partially because it has to be bc of how special his family is. he helps his family, he helps august pay his tuition, and then makes a point of disowning august after his betrayal as his new “brother”. but again, because of the royal status and expectations upon the family, that supersedes and colors all of their relationships with each other. it seems to be more a sense of “duty” than unconditional love. especially after erik’s death, wille always has to consider how the crown’s image will be impacted, even though he never wanted to have this responsibility, or even the responsibility of being the “regular” prince under erik. being a family unit that is under constant public scrutiny is going to strain relationships. the queen knows that the anxiety of fucking up his legacy will get to him, and she uses that to get wilhelm to back out of admitting it was him in the video and coming out. wilhelm has to choose between his own happiness and their reputation, is forced to think that denying it’s him in the video is the only way. he loves simon and wanted to live freely, but that pressure of legacy won out.

i don’t know if i think wille necessarily values the crown over his own personal happiness and relationships, like in the way maybe the queen does--i don’t think it comes from a place of “i’m lucky to be prince and owe my duty to the crown, so i do what i have to do to stay that way” (like how the queen said the crown is a privilege not a punishment), but from fear of destroying the legacy and his family. afterall, he still wanted to pursue a secret relationship with simon, i think if he fully valued the crown and uplifting legacy and fulfilling his duties he wouldn’t have tried that. he wouldn’t have made a point to tell simon he loves him. hopefully we get another season because i think with the iconic ending revolution rendition and him looking in the camera, which also parallels the shot of him being forced to apologize/go to hillerska, he is realizing that focusing on legacy is taking away what’s important to him, and he’s going to shake shit up.

august is definitely the most obsessed with legacy, wanting to carry on his father’s business, being persistent on befriending wilhelm and trying to social climb, wanting power and perfection with being prefect, rowing captain etcetera. he is so obsessed with perfection and reputation he gets addicted to drugs, he fucks with simon and makes him get stuff for parties he can’t afford because good parties will make him look better, he manipulates sara multiple times, he mostly wanted felice because of her nobility, he fucking films wilhelm and simon and OUTS him, his own cousin. he hates that wille has everything he wants but isn’t as interested in preserving and more importantly improving the legacy he’s inheriting. meanwhile august’s familial legacy is dwindling, and he holds on to the last bit of assets and names that he can.... v much sick and a weirdo that shows how harmful being obsessed with legacy is

the queen is of course v focused on legacy and it really breaks my heart and makes me angry that she doesn’t care about wilhelm’s happiness more than their reputation, and moreso doesn’t get august in trouble for literally leaking child p*rn of her kid for the sake of appearances?!?!?! like how is he even remotely trustworthy she is wrong for that! like i said earlier the obsession with legacy puts a strain on their mother/son relationship. she doesn’t even really say anything about wille’s sexuality or his relationship, and barely comforts him, mostly goes in with a plan she’s already concocted without him to fix everything. 

erik seemed to understand and accept his role as crown prince but obviously had issues with it as well, like when he makes the plan for him and wilhelm to run from the press, or when he tells wilhelm to enjoy himself while there aren’t so many eyes on him that care. erik shows someone who has more unconditional love and empathy but still has to focus on legacy and is much more inclined to continue his legacy, but we do see those glimpses over how even the most “ideal” attitude of preserving legacy causes issues.

felice is expected to live up to her mother’s legacy, of being an equestrian, of being the lucia, but she doesn’t want either of those things. her mother wants her to be thinner and straighten her hair, and find someone of nobility to be with. obviously she does find wilhelm attractive lol but i think the main reason she pursued him and definitely why she pursued august was because she was expected to social climb and have royal kids. felice feels the need to portray a false narrative of herself on social media to uphold a certain image of herself. it’s very fucked up that her mom wants those values instilled in her but i love that felice was putting up boundaries and pushing back against her mother and the narrative she’s supposed to live up to. her giving sara the role of lucia and focusing on supporting her friends more in the latter half of the season shows growth and i’m excited to see where her story goes. 

sara is interesting because she seems to want to reject the legacy of her family and being working class and to fit in with the elite of hillerska. sara hates micke, hates that simon contacted him because it’s bringing in this “shameful” and painful part of their past (which i mean is def fair). other than sara’s betrayal in 1.06, i think the scene where she tells her family that she wants to reside at hillerska really exemplifies where she’s at in her relation to legacy/class. after dining at hillerska and living amongst the elite she gets annoyed at eating around the TV, she blames her mother for not leaving micke sooner, she gets angry with simon for caring for her. she wants to lead her own life, be popular and wanted because people want her, not for pity (even though i think simon of course truly cares abt his sister she feels annoyed with his protection and care). felice says early on that she thinks sara doesn’t care what other’s think or having friends, and sara says she still wants friends though. i think sara’s biggest thing is she wants to belong, her and simon moved schools after she was bullied for being autistic so i think that definitely affected her even though she tries to act nonchalant about hillerska at first. we see sara’s longing to fit in in smaller ways at first, like her asking her mom for a better piece of her uniform because hers are “cheap” and already worn out. she gets annoyed at simon for chewing loudly, or her mother sitting casually at the table. as she gets closer to felice and madison and all the other students, the allure of the upper class and their lifestyle draws her in more. so much to the point where she gets very anxious and upset at the idea of her and simon leaving hillerska because he’s having his own crisis and doesn’t consider his pov. so much so that she effectively betrays simon and felice, the people she’s closest to, to make a deal (and make out lol) with august to room there and “be just like him”. personally i think sara’s attraction to august is mostly that allure of the elite and that he seemed to “desire” her when he kissed her because he was being a manipulative dickhead--again that want to fit in and be wanted. and  i think there is a really interesting angle of jealousy and competition in female friendships, even if it is really subtle or not intentionally insidious or anything, sara does slowly start to trying to assume all the roles/fashions/mannerisms of felice to live that life she wants. i do think felice and sara’s care for each other is genuine and one of my fave parts of the show, but i think a lot of people who experienced being a teen girl know how we are always pitted against each other even in our subconscious because of how society treats and values women.

simon seems to be the character that is least interested in upholding legacy and tradition or giving a fuck what anyone thinks (as omar said here lmao) and that makes him a really interesting foil to wilhelm. there could be something said about micke fearing that simon is following in his footsteps, but to me that plot more so reveals how the upper class (august) continually exploit the working class for their benefit, and the trappings of generational oppression. the other thing that can be said is simon signing up for private tutoring and rowing, but again i think that serves to further show that he is forced to “play” by the game of the elites because the school/society is corrupt, and also, that simon has further ambitions outside of where he’s at. he wants to get good grades because he wants to explore new places and avenues. to me simon’s biggest motivations are his passions, the things and people he loves--music, his family, wilhelm. he isn’t loyal to others just because he’s expected to be, or uphold a certain image but because he really cares. he doesn’t watch out for sara because that’s his expected role as her brother to do so, but because he cares. he wasn’t interested in knowing wilhelm because he’s a prince like everyone else, he makes it clear he thinks the royal family are privileged and exploitative, but he is interested because he saw the real wilhelm. he’s out and proud even though his elite classmates are more conservative, he doesn’t care about voicing his unpopular opinions, he has no problem walking away from august’s dickhead behavior or calling him out on his shit. simon doesn’t care if people don’t think of him in the best light. (the only exceptions ig are the drugs conflict and the video, though literally anyone would have a problem with that because it’s much deeper that public opinion and has ramifications and is deeply traumatic--but just adding that before someone is like “well actually!”) i also think it’s interesting that most of the songs simon sings has themes of pushing back against the societal norms, and being remembered in history, plus of course the revolution song motif, and how much those songs affect wilhelm, he seems to connect deeply, like he wishes he could do those things but simon is the one who gets to sing them and actually live them.

[constant-eggs]

I’ve been seeing a lot of posts about William on Supergirl from fellow Supercorp shippers, so I wanna talk a bit about Kara and Lena’s love interests and how they are viewed, and also about racism in the show and fandom. This has probably been done to death but I’m new to the fandom — I binge watched the show over the winter and just started using Tumblr in a real way about a month ago. So anyway, back to the men:

There’s the major three: James, Mon-El, and William. Jack is cool too — he should’ve had more than two episodes which is part of the issue I’m going to get to, but he never got to be a major player.

So let’s talk about James. Now, I liked him a lot, particularly in season 1. Of the three main love interests for Kara, he was the only one who (season 1) writers took time to establish as a character separate from her. He had hopes and a backstory (of course), and his own idealism that usually uplifted and sometimes contradicted with Kara’s. He was honest, and vulnerable, and when he made a mistake (like calling Superman against Kara’s wishes) he grew from them. Because he respected Kara, and himself. Now the chemistry between Kara and James for me felt good — it wasn’t earth shattering — but it was typical in what I’d come to expect from a heterosexual pairing. And I would argue that had the writers not done a complete 180 on Kara’s feelings for James in S2 and had let them keep growing together as characters, that the chemistry and relationship could have been really good. But they didn’t because as the writers themselves said, they’re ‘in the drama business.’ So having a healthy, supportive partner for Kara wasn’t their priority, James was sidelined, and then they never figured out what to do with his character from that moment on. Also, I do think that race played a part in the writers’ decision to change direction with their relationship, and it’s...disheartening.

Now real briefly on James with Lena: it reminded me a lot of Laurel 1 and Oliver — when they talked about each other to other people— I believed that there was love, but when they were together, I didn’t see any real spark. Even their drama wasn’t particularly interesting — so I won’t even get into it. But it’s been long enough in this post for me to get to the point of it: the fault of the deterioration of James as a character lies with the writers. They chose to sideline him, have his values constantly shift, and have his character development stagnate post S1. He could’ve had interesting stories as Guardian, could’ve worked more closely with Kara when he replaced Cat Grant, or any number of things. But his potential was squandered. And if they were so dead set on having a male love interest for Kara, he was their best option of the three.

Mon-El and Kara had chemistry. To me, it was very much sibling chemistry in nature, which is kind of funny considering that in the comics he was a pseudo brother to Superman. To be clear I’m talking about Kara and Mon-El and not Chris and Melissa who are married, because they aren’t their characters. That’s how I think he should have stayed — as an antagonistic, shallow brother type who slooowly became decent through character growth and not specifically to become Kara’s love interest. But the handful of times Mon-El did the right thing — rebelling against his parents, trying to be a hero etc. it was because he liked Kara. How boring is that? As a love interest he was subpar — and he continued to be a liar. I don’t hate him like some fans do — and I’m well aware that he was a shallow partner who owned other people on his planet, and a habitual liar. I also see that this show is fantastical in nature where I am rooting for Lena after nearly mind-enslaving the entire population just last season. And also in a universe where a primary hero — Oliver Queen, was a serial killer (as are Laurel 2, Sara Lance, and Mick Rory to name a few). So that isn’t the main reason why I don’t like Mon-El for Kara. I just feel as early Kara felt: She deserves so much better than him.

What is there even to say about William? He’s essentially the audience in character form — the chorus in an Ancient Greek play telling us how we should feel about whatever action he’s being sidelined from. If they wanted him to be endgame, he should’ve been introduced bare minimum a season earlier to give him a fair shot. He needs to be better integrated in the fold, and at this point there isn’t a lot of time to do that well.

I’m making this post though because I don’t agree with some of what I’m seeing in fandom. Yes, I too dislike Mon-El as a love interest for Kara, but I’m not going to yuck someone else’s yum. Same goes for William and James. If you see something romantic, that’s okay. If you’re a multi shipper, that’s okay too. I was into other Arrowverse shows when Karamel and Supercorp animosity was at its highest and saw some of what went on and now I see some people uniting over their mutual dislike for William. But his underdevelopment as a character is once again entirely on the writers and execs. Not Staz Nair. And @motorcyclegirlfriends has a much more nuanced post about how race plays into characters being empathized within fandom and the screen time they are allotted by writers and directors. https://motorcyclegirlfriends.tumblr.com/post/649196192472924160/what-a-lot-of-the-nice-fellow-fans-dont-harass

We shouldn’t be tearing down actors of color or characters of color out of frustration over (potentially/hopefully) queer (white) characters. We should instead be asking for them to have more well rounded stories, just as we ask for better LGBT rep — the two aren’t separate. If Supercorp doesn’t become canon it won’t be because of the subpar heterosexual romances they were given. It will be because the writers see the love story they’ve created, inadvertently or otherwise (even doubling down on it in S5) but chose to ignore it. I really hope that isn’t the case. Us fans deserve more complex, messy slowburn romances, and Supercorp could be up there with She-Ra as one of the best ever portrayed. Here’s to hoping.

[mickmarstookmyheart]

More Espresso, Less Despresso

Part: 2/?

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: Mick tells you the truth about his job and you meet the band in their natural habitat.

Many days have passed, many cups of coffee were consumed, and fewer books were read as you have always had a company at the café. But you didn't mind. Mick was your best friend there, well, the only one, though you didn't even search for others.

"So, Mick, what are your plans for the next week?" You asked walking next to him in the park. Your scarf half covering your face which you were grateful for since you could feel the cold in your bones.

"Well..." This was the moment. This was the perfect timing to tell you that he was a musician. A guitarist who traveled from stadium to the other and never settled down for more than a few days. A rockstar whom chicks wanted but not in the way Mick would love to. "There is something I need to tell you, (Y/N)." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Then, I will listen." You said glancing at him.

"Come, let's sit down." He gestured toward the bench nearby and you both sat down on the rather chilly bench. "So, I don't know how to say it."

"Honestly. What you truly think. Just say it." You placed your hand on his shoulder.

"I'm happy. I'm happy that I finally find someone with who I can talk, share my thoughts, and have a decent conversation. I would go to the café and spend time together for eternity but unfortunately, it's impossible." He sighed. "I'm a rockstar, (Y/N), and the band goes on the next stop tomorrow. I'm so sorry."

You shook your head and chuckled. "So, this was the reason you were so nervous about it? Come on, Mick. I've always known that you are an artist. You talk about music like I talk about books; with so much passion." You turned to him to be able to look in his eyes.

"What? Are you telling me that you knew from the beginning?" He asked arching a brow making you giggle.

"Yes, Sherlock. For fucks sake, have you looked in the mirror? Long black hair, leather jacket and pants, the way your fingers drum to the beat, and an unbelievable wide knowledge of music." You were hoping deep down that he wasn't a big star. You hid your disappointment and tried to cheer him as he was feeling blue and you just couldn't bear it. Seeing him like this just broke your heart, thus you behaved as if everything was cool, but it wasn't.

"Alright, Watson. I'm impressed." He snickered. He couldn't believe you paid so much attention to him, he was sure he didn't deserve it. After all the wrong decisions he made, all the wrong things he did, it seemed a miracle to have a good friend like you. "Then, you are not mad, right?"

"Of course not, you silly. Though I would've appreciated it to tell me, I thought it was your business. You would've told me at the right time." You were playing with the end of your scarf. You felt your heart ached, tears desperately wanted to come but you didn't let them. You needed to keep your happiness for him because if he would see you like a wreck, he wouldn't be able to leave you there without feeling guilty.

"I wanted to, truly, but I was afraid...I was scared that you would run away." He glanced up and tried to scan every detail of your face so later when he needed he would be able to recall it.

"Why would I do that? Believe it or not, I also like rock music. And the fact that I read books doesn't mean that I'm pure as a unicorn or something. I read books during the day and I'm a serial killer at the night. This is a good glamour you know." You said with the most serious face could.

"What?" Mick's eyes widened. He looked he believed the whole thing. It looked like you could lie pretty well.

"Why is it so hard to believe?" You huffed crossing your arms to make your story more believable.

"I don't know, maybe that the shine in your eyes or your calm temper." You couldn't hold it back anymore and you burst into laughter. Tears running down your cheek but this time from happiness. He was the reason for both your sadness and happiness. "Why are you laughing now? Oh, you liar..." He snapped playfully but then laughed along with you. After you could properly breathe again and calmed down you rose from the bench and kept walking.

"And how long will the tour be?" You asked, already feeling a knot in your stomach. You didn't want to lose him, you just got him.

"Months. Too much if you ask me. I don't know how I will bear my bandmates' stupidity. I will lose my sense if I can't talk with you." He said making you blush.

"I'm sure there are others who are a bit smarter than your friends." You shrugged. You hated the idea that he finds someone special. Someone with the same mind, taste, and thinking. You wanted to be the only one, even if it felt selfish.

"No, I don't think so." He snickered shaking his head. "You are my soulmate, (Y/N) and no one can replace you." He bumped into you playfully. You gasped internally. He spoke like he was reading your mind and it was creepy. Maybe, he was truly your soulmate. "By the way, the guys keep nagging me where I am all day, and since now you know about them...would you like to meet them? Also, I will understand if you don't want to." He rubbed the back of his head thinking it wasn't really a good idea after all.

"Hell yes. It would be a pleasure." You smiled and tugged a lock of hair behind your ear.

∆

"You can still run away. There is still a chance to have a better life without meeting those bastards. You wouldn't miss a thing."

"Mick, calm down. I totally want this." You were standing in front of the studio's entrance.

"Then don't blame me later." He murmured and opened the door for you. You stepped in and as you turned in the corner you just had to follow the voices. If you had to name the voices you would've called it chaos. Screaming, glass breaking. You took a deep breath and opened the door to see the chaos. You froze and were shocked from the sight. One of them was bumping his head on the drums, the other was doing drugs and the third man was throwing knives on the wall. Mick stood behind you and grabbed your wrist. "Let's go, (Y/N). They are not in their best shape."

"But we walked so damn much. Too much for nothing." You sighed.

"Alright then. Go grab something to eat or drink and I will scold them down until you come back, okay?"

"Deal." You nodded and headed towards the bistro next to the studio while Mick felt the urge to beat the shit out of his bandmates. While reading the menu you were wondering how he is able to get through the tours while keeping his sanity. Then pictures flooded your mind. Memories you desperately wanted to forget but it seemed they became core memories. You had experiences with both drugs and alcohol and you felt their effect on your own skin, though you weren't the one who consumed them. You thought if you move from that place, maybe the memories will fade.

"Ma'am, what can I get you?" A waitress asked standing behind the counter.

"Five from that one." You pointed at the table above her head and bit after she handed you the bag with your order. When you got back the building where you left the band, you grabbed the door handle it didn't turn. "Are you fucking kidding me?" You cursed still trying to open the door before kicking in it angrily.

"Hey, what that poor door did to you?" A man inquired searching in his pockets.

"Sorry. It just doesn't open and I really would like to go in." You said tilting your head toward the entrance.

"Then, try with this one." He winked and handed you the key which you took gladly and opened the door with it. "Thanks, man!"

"It's nothing, kid. By the way, who are you exactly and why do you want to go in?" He asked while he held the door for you letting you go first. You thanked with a nod and made your way to the studio.

"I'm (Y/N). Umm, Mick brought me here..." You raised a brow.

"Wait. The (Y/N)?" His eyes were wide and he was pointing at you.

"Yeah, I guess." You murmured now having a clue.

"Well then nice to finally meet you. I thought we would never meet you." He gave you the biggest smile you ever saw.

"Mick told you about me?" You were in shock. You didn't assume he told about you. Not that you minded. It felt good that you were important to him.

"He couldn't shut his mouth for a second! By the way, I'm Doc. Their manager." He held his hand to shake it.

"It's a pleasure." You smiled and opened the door cautiously. You didn't know what to expect after what you had seen earlier, but it wasn't this. All of them were reading a magazine?! And were sitting with crossed legs on the sofa.

"What the..." Doc peeked over your shoulder as you didn't move an inch. His mouth dropped and was speechless, which you could say about yourself, too. "Are you okay, guys?"

"Yeah, Doc, thanks for asking." The blondie said not glancing up from the magazine he was reading.

"Mick...what exactly did you do them?" You inquired in confusion, considering, the room was hell a few minutes earlier.

"Nothing." He simply said closing the magazine, placing it on the coffee table, and walked over to you. He stood beside you and cleared his throat. "Guys, this is (Y/N). (Y/N) this is Vince, Tommy, and Nikki." They smiled and nodded when they heard their names. "And I see you have already met with Doc."

"Nice to meet you guys." You waved your hand. "Umm, I brought some food..for you if you are interested..." You muttered swinging the bag in front of you. Tommy literally jumped up from the couch and took the bag from your hand opening and smelling it.

"It smells rad, dude." He yelled picking one of the boxes.

"I already love you, (Y/N)." Vince rose from the couch stealing the bag from the drummer.

After everyone chose their boxes, you all find a place to sit and were consuming the food in silence. You were sitting on the arm of the sofa balancing yourself. You leaned to Mick whispering in his ear.

"Seriously, what did you do?" You asked gesturing toward the guys.

"I have my own ways." He smirked making you curious as hell.∆

Taglist: @leatherandheels @littlemisscare-all @safari-karrot @crazyrockrlady 💕💕

(feel free to message me or comment if you wanted to be tagged 💕)

[kcvgvn]

Sheriff’s Department 11/2

Transcript below cut:

KEAGAN

Keagan woke up earlier than she normally would since she had quite the list of things to tackle. While she still wasn't feeling hungry, she did grab a small breakfast and her coffee on the go. Keagan also made sure she visited Sky's room to give her a quick kiss - whether she even woke up from it or not, one couldn't tell.

When she got to the station, she went to her office just to get caught up on emails - gathering everything together before the culprit showed up. There was no way Foyer would be there already - the man barely arrived on time, much less earlier than his actual hours.

Eventually the man in question finally waddled in. "Foyer." She called out from her spot. "Come to my office." The man started to go off about how he literally just came in and other reasons that Keagan did not care for. The deputy got up from her seat and walked to her door, leaning against the frame with her arms folded in front of her. "I would rather have a private conversation for your sake but you seem to have different ideas to go about this. Foyer, hand in your badge." She put it bluntly. "It has come to our attention and with evidence that you have disclosed private information without one, going through proper channels and procedures, and two, without general consent. The fact that you simply gave my private address to someone who simply asked out in the open. That itself is concerning. Give me your badge and remove yourself from the premises."

MICK

The Sheriff herself had her door open, specifically because she wanted to keep an eye on how this situation played out. When Benson had reached out to her about the matter the night before, there had been no hesitation and no doubt: Foyer had to go. He had already managed to skate by on thin ice for far too long, but the outright disregard for a fellow officer's safety for the sake of being petty? Last straw.

When she heard them man begin to go off at the mouth again, she was certain that Benson could hold her own, but there was no reason she should have to. This entire department worked as a team. Standing herself, she made her way out to the bullpen and simply said, "For once in your career, even if it _is_ ironically enough to end it, just follow orders."

KEAGAN

Since Foyer seemed very reluctant to turn in his badge, Keagan stormed right up to him which did cause him to be startled and take a step back. For some reason, Foyer seemed to always underestimate her and would often end up with his tail tucked under him when she goes right up to him.

In the end, he gave her his badge and stormed out. She turned to the person who had the misfortune to sit next to Foyer's desk. "Clear out his desk of his belongings. He's not going to get the chance to do it himself because who knows what he's going to take with him that's not his own shit." She sighed as she walked up to Mick. "Here." She handed over the badge. "Guess that's one problem solved."

MICK

She reached out to take the badge, managing to keep her features schooled only because she understood just how pissed off Foyer's actions had left her new Deputy and understanding exactly why. _But_ that didn't mean that internally she wasn't doing joyous backflips at now having zero excuse to play nice with either of the Foyer brothers.

"I'm sorry there's not much more that we can do about your second one. Unfortunately, federal jurisdiction will always have open access over any local law enforcement. At least where we're concerned. The downside of being law enforcement in a town of supernaturals. Can't be trusted to handle ourselves apparently....even though we've seen neither hair nor hide from them during previous 'incidents'," she grumbled in a whisper.

KEAGAN

"Cabot's on it, sort of. I think." Keagan explained. "I just need him gone. I should have had someone keep tabs on him too in case he was causing trouble elsewhere. That's my miss." She sighed, "You don't happen to know where he is at the moment, do you? I really should have escorted him back to the airport so that I can be sure that his ass is gone."

The deputy grabbed a nearby chair and sat in it. Was she more relaxed now? Nope. Her stress level was probably still exactly where it was at since yesterday. "What a week. And this is only the second day." She snorted.

MICK

“You can’t be expected to keep tabs on a grownass man, Benson. You’re divorced for a reason no?” She joked to try and lighten the mood. “I gave Cruz a quick call last night, he didn’t end up at the Radcliffe. My best bet is, if he grew up here, he must have people he knows here still that he crashes with. I mean, I would venture to say he may have stayed at the Inn but…no townie ever stays _there_.”

Mick glanced down at her newest hire with a mix of sympathy and sarcasm. “Every one gets their proper welcome to Fallcrest at one point or another.”

KEAGAN

"Yes, let's not remind me that I have shit taste in men." She wasn't upset with Mick for bringing that up, but frustrated with herself for having such bad decisions over the years. As her boss talked about where Hendrix could be at, Keagan stilled. "There aren't many people who got along with him. He did mention about visiting Hart, but at the time, he was just bullshitting his excuse for being here..." She pulled out her phone and shot a text to Blake to go check on Hartley. "Damnit. This is my mess too." She did not mean to drag Hartley into this. The possibility of Hendrix finding Hartley didn't even cross her mind until now.

"It's almost the drama just waited for its chance for me to finally settle down to spring up on me all at once." She sighed as she got up from her chair, "I.. have a lot of cleaning up to do.."

MICK

Raised her hands at the woman in a bid to ease her down. “Hey, of Hartley’s involved, you know she’s in the best hands with Emmerson. Also, she’s one of you, so she’ll have a handle on him if he’s tried anything.” Shaking her head she looked at the woman sternly, “No. Stop. Everyone makes bad decisions, it’s part of life. But that doesn’t make us responsible for other people’s actions. You never told him to come here or to go find Hartley or anything. That’s on him.”

Mick gave a small shrug and said, “This is the only town I’ve ever known to let it’s residents leave the drama and then charge them back-interest when they return.” She simply nodded at the last bit, knowing it was mostly a means to excuse herself.

KEAGAN

"That is *if* he's still there to be handled." Keagan pinched the bridge of her nose. It wouldn't be the first time that Hendrix avoided Blake like a plague. Other than not giving a crap about his own sister, Blake had to be the other reason as to why he was never in the same room as the other. "Yeah, but it was my dumb decision that got me stuck in this mess to begin with." She frowned, "I swear to god, I'm going to fedex his ass if I have to if he doesn't go by himself." She muttered under her breath.

What a welcome back this town had given her. To think she was going to spend some nice quality time with her loved ones, the universe decided to give her a big harsh *no* about it. "I'm going to check in on Blake and Hartley because I really don't trust him." Maybe enough to not get themselves killed on a mission but to leave his sister alone? No. She did not trust him at all. The deputy retreated back into her office and checked to see if she received any messages.

HENDRIX

After managing to exit Hartley's place before Blake could even remotely make an appearance, Drix had decided to hedge his bets and just go directly to the Sheriff's Department. It was surprisingly easy to find a secluded spot in the parking lot behind the building, and he was honestly just counting on the fact that Keagan was new enough to this gig she wouldn't know what cars were meant to be there and which weren't.

The _plan_ had been to sleep in his rental until morning and then be ready to ~~ambush~~ speak with Keagan as soon as she arrived, before she had a chance to walk inside. _However_, he had pretty much drained the battery on his phone the night before and didn't have a car charger, so the thing died before his alarm could go off and he missed his opportunity. So instead, he'd been made to wait and try to figure out when best to make his move. He definitely didn't want the actual Sheriff to be around, because if there was thing Agent Cabot's message left very clear, it was that he was already on thin ice. No need to add to the list by pissing off Keagan's _other_ boss.

Lucky for him, around noon, the Sheriff -who he only recognized by the badge- made her way out of the building and off the lot. "Oh let's hope you like long lunches," he whispered as he quickly made his way inside as inconspicuously as he could -his training coming in clutch- and slipped all the way back until he made it past the open door of the office labeled Chief Deputy and saw a familiar sight. "You know, I remember when you used to refuse to let me be the one to do the paperwork," he said with his best smile.

KEAGAN

Keagan read through the texts from Cabot, saying that she also sent Agent Emmerson to go pick up Hendrix. There was some relief in knowing Goodwin was in trouble of some level because this was just inappropriate. She doubt he'd be as easy to get rid of as Foyer but Keagan was holding on to that tiny bit of hope.

What she didn't expect was for him to waltz right into the station the second Michaela stepped out for lunch. Something about there being less people at this hour. Keagan just thought she was there to visit Sage since they did seem to get along during the Halloween party. She could smell his scent from the moment he came into the station and her anger just rose higher at the sound of his voice. "First you show up unannounced at my house. Now you're showing up at my workplace? You should leave before I have you escorted out." Her voice was scarily calm for how livid she was with him basically stalking her.

Her eyes narrowed at him, "Did you go bother Hartley when I told you not to?" She asked, still concerned for her friend because she knew how much Hartley didn't want to deal with her brother either. "Goodwin, go back to D.C."

HENDRIX

He raised his hands in a show of submission. “I promise, I fully understand that what I did yesterday was out of line. I shouldn’t have gone to your home unannounced,” he agreed, before adding, “_However_, you can’t technically have me escorted out for just wanting to talk given we have jurisdiction over local law enforcement here… And I really do _just_ want to talk. I realize I put you in a difficult spot yesterday, but that was not my intention.”

It was obvious that one way or another, news still traveled just as fast in this speck of a town. He let something between a scoff and chuckle as he said, “I did go visit her, but I didn’t stay long.” Her petition had him taking a step closer to her desk as he said, “I can’t do that, Keagy. Not _without_ you. Not knowing that you’re going to be left sitting here squandering your potential in this town when you could be out in the field with me, working towards one day having Cabot’s job.”

KEAGAN

"You really shouldn't. You shouldn't have even come *here* in the first place." Keagan shook her head, "Then if you're going to stay, then fine. Stay but do *not* talk to me about your personal business because I refuse to talk to you about anything other than a case. Whatever your motives and intentions are, keep it to yourself, Goodwin. You do not get to ambush me at both my home *and* work just because something didn't go your way because I told you *very *clearly, even back in D.C."

She gritted her teeth when he confirmed that he did go bother his sister. Clearly before Blake could get there, otherwise he wouldn't be *here*. "Is this what your trip is all about?" She put down her folder and leaned back against her chair, "You want Cabot's job so you want me to stay as your partner so that I can help clean up your messes like I always fucking do? Tough luck to you then. That's not going to make you look better. You well goddamn know that Cabot knows this too. Get the hell out of my office."

HENDRIX

Hendrix could feel his various avenues in how to approach this closing with each passing sentence that Keagan uttered, and the last couple made it clear he needed to think fast because he was very quickly approaching the edge of a cliff…maybe even literally by the look in the woman’s eyes.

He had the sense to look hurt at her words. “What? You think _I_ want her job? I want _you_ to have her job. I want _you_ to get to go out every day and do what you love to do, because you can sit here and tell anyone in this town whatever tale you want, but I was _there_. I was there, by your side, Keagan. I saw it with my own two eyes how _alive_ it made you feel to go out on a proper hunt for people who had to be put away. I know that _you_ know there’s no more of a direct impact on keeping the supernatural community safe than the work we do _out there_. This desk? This office? This town? What could it possibly offer that even compares to that?”

“Her daughter.”

Hendrix spun around to see the tall redhead from the day before -who he now realized was Dicky’s sister- standing in the doorway with some boxes in her arms, and an unreadable expression on her face. He threw her an annoyed look at having even bothered to exist right now, but turned to face Keagan with a smile.

“She can come along! As a matter of fact she _should_ come along. There’s no reason for her to be away from you when there are great opportunities for her in D.C. I mean, honestly, who would stop you from taking her with you? Pseudo aunt over here?” he asked pointing at Luke who had made her inside as he spoke and was setting the boxes down on the opposite corner of the desk.

PHOENIX

When Luke came by to pick up something, she mentioned something about going to the station. Of course, Phoenix had to tag along. She hadn't had the opportunity to visit and to see Keagan settle into her chief deputy role! She was most proud of her cousin for finally getting a job that would allow her to be with her family. It'd be a lie if Phoenix didn't enroll alongside Keagan - despite the different departments - just to keep an eye on her. The woman did not know her limits sometimes.

While she expected to see her cousin hard at work as always, she did not expect to hear her arguing with someone already. The witch followed Luke as she interrupted the conversation.

Oh, it was this guy. She had heard through the grapevines about him and none of it made a good impression. "You're funny, Goodwin." She walked around to give Keagan a quick hug before straightening up again, "Her *favourite* aunt - as much as that hurts to say - happens to be the one who raised Skylar and you honestly think Keagan would make Skylar leave?" She folded her arms, still focused on Hendrix when Keagan already got up from her seat to speak with Luke about whatever it was Luke brought, clearly feeling relief and joy about her visit. "I heard about you." She held a hand up, "Nothing good, I can guarantee that. Should you even be here?"

HENDRIX

Hendrix was not a man known for his patience, and if being interrupted mid-impassioned speech -and to have point made that sent his entire speech to shit at that- was already wearing him down, having his attempt to save face _also_ sent up in flames was really setting him at his limit.

But this was Keagan’s family. Even if the context clues in her words weren’t there, the clues in her appearance certainly were. As such, he _had_ to play nice.

Drix sent her a soft smile and once again raised his hands in. “I wasn’t trying to suggest that _Skylar_, should be made to do anything she doesn’t want to. I misspoke. I’ll admit that. All I wanted to do was let Keagan know that she doesn’t have to _settle_. This is the modern age, women can have careers _and _ families. She can still do the job she loves and have her daughter with her.” It took everything he had not to drop the act all together at the final question, but he was able to translate it into a look of sadness and disappointment instead as he said, “I have been granted a stay at the moment so long as I refrain from mentioning more personal matters. Which is why my focus is Keagan and the career she’s sacrificed so much for only to turn her back on it now.”

KEAGAN

Keagan really thanked all the gods when Luke came in when she did because she could not handle another moment of Hendrix’s bullshit. Whether or not it was true that he wanted *her* to take over Cabot’s spot, it didn’t matter to her anymore. Perhaps at one point in her career she would have wanted to worked up to there, but that wasn’t her goal anymore. It wasn’t that she didn’t love her job anymore; she still did but she had more important things in her life that she didn’t want to miss out on anymore. A life as an undercover agent was a very lonely one if it weren’t for the arrangements that Blake and she had.

While Phoenix thankfully took over at preoccupying Hendrix with whatever else he had to say, Keagan was more focused on the boxes that Luke suddenly brought over. “What are these?” She opened one of them and pulled out a document from it. Recognition flooded her features as she skimmed through the first page. When did you get these? How did you- You didn’t also go and beat the kid up like Sky did, did you?” Sometimes she would like to think that Luke had a steady head on her shoulders, but this woman was just as reckless as Skylar if not more at times. “But thank you.. I’ll have to re-“

Her words were cut off when something that idiot said caught her attention. “Would you just stop already?” Her hands lowered with the papers, “My career and the path I want to take or not take is none of your concern. Will you stop prying in my matters? Nix. Why don’t you keep Goodwin company until Blake gets here?” She turned back to Luke, “Are you still on your break?”

LUKE

It wasn’t the first time Luke was not-so-subtlety reminded that she was adopted. As a matter of fact, her own brother had made sure to remind her at every turn, and thus she’d heard it all. _However_, having it brandished against her in relation to Sky…not even Ricky had taken a blow so low and it left her feeling almost winded. She was grateful that Phoenix spoke because she wasn’t sure she even could right now.

Her focus was redirected as Keagan herself came over and began asking about the boxes. “Special treats for Mick,” she tried to joke. A more genuine light laugh fell from her lips as she shook her head and said, “No, I didn’t assault anyone. I just went over and had a chat. No one’s perfect and if anyone can understand making bad decisions that seem good based on a parental figure’s input, well…ya know. I just figured everyone deserved to have someone in their corner. She was _more_ than willing to turn this all over and is willing to provide full cooperation with the Council and Guild as well.”

Luke didn’t have any intention of doing anything that might come across as meddling or intervening in Keagan’s affairs -professional or otherwise- and respected the fact that she could hold her own. But the way this man had just equated -intentionally or not- that for Keagan to chose Skylar was _settling_? Oh that lit a fuse.

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe _your_ perception is just a tad bit biased or, I don’t know, one-dimensional based on the fact the only part of Keagan’s life you’ve ever known is her as an agent? Maybe, just maybe, it was being out on long, isolating assignments that made her _settle_.” Luke turned right back to Keagan, not really aiming to receive and answer.

She glanced at her watch at the question of her break, and was completely caught off guard when she felt something connect with her face, and then the familiar taste of copper filling her mouth.

LUKE

Immediately going off instinct alone, she managed to catch his arm as he went to pull away and maneuver it behind his back as her own free arm came around to place him in a chokehold. Her height made it to where the man was left on his toes trying to keep himself breathing, and if Blake hadn’t arrived while she was being talked down…Luke was ashamed to admit she didn’t really know what the outcome would’ve been.

She took a step away as she closed her eyes and tried to regulate her breathing.

KEAGAN

It wasn't as if the Deputy couldn't hear the words the idiot was saying - she was the one with the enhanced hearing out of this bunch, but having people confront her for 3 days straight was very tolling. Even if she could handle it, it didn't mean she wasn't just over it - which was why the visit from Luke and Phoenix could not have come at a better time.

While she enjoyed the brief break she got from discussing about Dallas' actions and intentions, she was about to bring the boxes with her to another room - hopefully some place where Hendrix couldn't follow when Luke's attention switched over to his words. It really wasn't worth fighting with him but she couldn't help but smile at Luke when the other defended her and knowing the reasons as to why she decided to 'settle' after years in the field.

Unfortunately, that didn't last very long when she spotted Hendrix approaching them from the corner of her eye. She thought he was going to just come up to her - boy was she wrong. Thankfully, Luke's reflexes were quick as she already had him pinned down before either Phoenix and Keagan could register what happened. Her cousin handled Hendrix while Keagan eased Luke's hold on him. Once separated, she carefully led Luke to the other side of the room, telling them both to calm down. And fortunately for her, Blake finally showed up.

Since both her friend and cousin were here, Keagan focused on Luke who was clearly trying to gather herself. As much as she would love to unleash her own rage on Hendrix, her main focus right now was Lucas. "Hey! Hey." She spoke softly as her hands carefully cupped Luke's jaw, trying to get the taller woman to focus on her. "You with me? Focus on me, Lucas." She whispered.

LUKE

As her mouth filled with the same copper taste once more, she happened to glance up past the desk and off to where Blake and Phoenix were currently corralling the man, who still didn't seem to have regained proper control of his airways. The urge to walk over and spit the blood in his face was strong, but the days of a time when she would've easily hopped the desk and walked up to him just to do so? Those were far behind her. Luke had an example to set, even if the ones she was aiming to set them for weren't physically present.

Thank god for that. Skylar should never have to see her in such a state.

Her eyes were zeroed in on the man, gaze hard as stone the entire time that he was still within the office. She could feel Keagan's hands as they tried to guide her focus in a different direction, but Luke didn't let the man out of her sight until he was escorted out of the office and down the bullpen by Blake and Phoenix. Only then did she feel it was safe enough to let her gaze be guided back.

As soon as blue eyes met hazel, all the edge was gone from her gaze and look of shame was what took it's place. She nodded in response, but what came out of her mouth was just, "I'm sorry. I don't- I just- I shouldn't have even been here. I'm sorry, Cal. I don't- I'll take full responsibility with your boss- Both of them! I- I never wanted to jeopardize what you've worked so hard for. I just- Instinct just took over. He became a threat and _you_ were right there, and Phoenix! I just...wanted to neutralize the threat.... I'm sorry."

Luke dropped her head to look down at her hands, still faintly shaking from the adrenaline rush. Suddenly looking back up she said, "I should get back to the gym. I need to clean myself up and get through a few more classes before I can be off in time to pick up the girls from school. I should- yeah. I should go."

KEAGAN

After she succeeded in gaining Luke's attention - although it was only after Hendrix was escorted out for good reason, Keagan shook her head as her friend rambled out her apologies. "It's okay! Luke, it's *okay*." She reassured the taller woman as many times as she needed to. "Hey, Luke, look at me. It's okay. You didn't jeopardize anything. No one here is in trouble - well, except for Goodwin, but that's not your responsibility. He's an agent and he should *really* know better." She chuckled softly, trying to lighten the mood.

"Luke." She tried again, "If anything, I should thank you for well.. essentially standing up for me and kicking his ass all at once. I promise you, you didn't jeopardize anything. Besides, he punched you first." She pointed out. "So there's nothing to apologize for, okay? I'm more concerned about your jaw right now." Her eyes fell to Luke's lips, using her thumb to wipe the bit of blood she saw.

"Wait, give me a sec here to take a look." She sighed as carefully examined where the punch landed, "I think you're going to bruise - what luck, you and Skylar are both sporting a shiner." She joked as she got someone out from the bullpen to grab some ice for her. "Here." She lightly placed the pack onto Luke's face.

Meeting those blue eyes again, Keagan pursed her lips, "How are you feeling? Don't lie, because I can't have you driving around and holding class before I know you're okay."

LUKE

Luke knew what Keagan was trying to do. After all, this may be one of the first time's _in ages_ that the older woman had to step in and talk Luke down both from escalating a situation and the aftermath, but it certainly wasn't the _first_ ... not by a longshot. All she could do was nod as Keagan spoke. "I know, I just- I swear my intention was never to meddle in _any_ of your affairs, but he just kept talking. And I realize now that it was all just bullshit, but-" She stopped. The truth was that regardless of how much attention Kegan had been paying the man, Luke had taken in every word. And in her experience, the wounds left by words were the worst. They were not only often the deepest, but they were also the ones that one saw and only the wounded felt. "-he just wouldn't shut up," she finished lamely.

The redhead didn't fight it. If it made Keagan feel better about all of this in anyway to give her a once over, by all means. At the mention of Skylar her eyes immediately widened. "She can't know about this. I mean, obviously she's going to see it and ask questions, and I promise I don't plan to lie to her. I just, I think the less specifics she's made aware of, the better," she said as she took hold of the pack. "She was pretty upset as it was when she felt ambushed by the ridiculous idea that her aunt might date her professor, I don't even want to know what her reaction would be when it's her mom and an unwanted suitor...or, uh..._presumably_ unwanted. Not my business."

Removing the pack from her face, she offered a small smile and said, "I'm fine. Honest. I've had worse happen for far less important reasons....some of which are on the internet if you need proof." She set the pack down on a nearby filing cabinet and said, "Besides, I'll probably be taking Phoenix with me and she can drive...seats are adjustable."

KEAGAN

The soft look Keagan sent Luke's way as the other continued about how Hendrix just went on and on about the points he kept trying to make. Keagan could really care less about what people say about her - it was really only the moments when he talked about Luke and Skylar that had her protective nature flaring. But because she didn't want to cause a scene in her own office, she opted to focus *all* the attention on Luke.

In the end, a scene was caused in her office.

Keagan smiled softly, "I know. I wish he'd shut up too. And just so you know, in case what he said got in your head.. I'm never going to separate you and Skylar, okay? You're honestly more her parent than I ever have been over the years." Not quite a lie. "Luke, you basically raised Skylar on your own. I'd be crazy to take her away from you - and you from her." She sighed, "And I love it here. This is my home. You're my home. If anything, I sacrificed *too* much for my job and it isn't worth it to be kept away from Skylar, you and well.. basically, my family." For someone who was always away on assignment, she had gotten used to keeping many things to herself because anything could be used against her - especially when she was undercover. But every time she came back, it was Luke who made her feel safe.

She smiled, feeling this might have been a similar situation when Skylar came home with her injuries. "I won't tell her any more than what you've share with her. I'm not lying to that kid either, you know." She couldn't help but snort at the term unwanted suitor. "Of course, unwanted." Her eyes narrowed. "Why do you sound unsure about that?" This might not be the time and place, but this did surprise her.

The deputy looked out her door to still see Blake dealing with Goodwin and her cousin acting as back-up - not that Blake couldn't handle herself. "Well if you're sure. But speaking of Nix, I think we should go over there."

LUKE

Loose strands of red hair fell over her face as she nodded once again. "I know, I know. I guess, it was just the fact that in spite of never being allowed to forget I'm not a 'real Benson'," she said with air quotes and a voice that was a clear mockery of her brother, "Me not having some form of blood-tie or whatever, to Skylar _specifically_...that one-" _hurt_ "-that one was new."

Kegan's next words had her dipping her head down as she laughed lightly and made a show of rubbing at the back of her neck, mostly to try and hide _just_ how embarrassingly easy she'd been flustered by it. "Aw, come on Cal. You can't be saying stuff like that in the middle of your very open office," _And not expect me to want to kiss you_ "You're the new badass Chief Deputy. Can't risk them thinking you have 'emotions' like us mere humans," she teased. Glancing up, she hoped the look on her face was enough to convey that she was by no means playing down what had been said, but it really wasn't the place for _that_ conversation.

And speaking of conversations that she would really rather have _anywhere_ else... "If I'm not mistaken, I think recall there being something about a rule of only work things discussed in the office..." she trailed of as she slowly walked her way backwards around the desk. "Yeah, brilliant. Lets go see what's up with Douche-win."

As she approached the site where Blake was still working to keep Hendrix from going back, she stood back to her full height and made sure to catch his gaze as she offered, "Need a hand?"

KEAGAN

"To be fair, I don't know if being related to your brother is all that great." She bit her lip when Luke went on about not having any blood-tie to Skylar. "You're her family no matter what, Luke. Nothing's going to change that. Hell, you're more related to her than Richard. No matter what they say, you are our family."

Keagan couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of Luke getting shy. "Hey, I can still kick ass if I need to." She kept her gaze on Luke, as if making sure that the other was indeed going to be fine once she let her go back to the gym. "Alright. Using my own words against me." They both knew she only said it just to get Hendrix to stop talking - which evidently didn't work. But at least they both seemed to be on the same page moreorless.

The Deputy stood back as she watched Hendrix struggling against Blake. Phoenix on the other hand looked very tempted to just subdue him by making him pass out. As enticing as that idea sound, she gave the younger Calvetti a look. "He's still struggling?"

HENDRIX

Hendrix had been doing what he could, knowing that as coworkers the two witches and the werewolf would be the least of his concern in terms of possible damage. He knew their professionalism and training -even for the admins- would keep them from taking things too far, so long as he remained within reason of course. However, he had vastly underestimated his fellow human…as his trachea was very quick to remind him.

So as he heard the woman approaching, he immediately stopped pushing back on Blake and even took a step back towards the exit, his hands in the air. “Nope, no hands needed. I- I’m sorry,” he rasped out at Luke. “I _never_ should’ve reacted like that. Truly, I regret it.” And he most definitely did. If nothing else, because he’d been immensely emasculated in front of _three_ of his female coworkers in one fell swoop…But he could regain _some_ sense of satisfaction now.

“When you said that what Keagan did out in the field was settling, my brain just got its wires crossed and I guess I took to mean that you were saying that her doing _me_ was settling, and I just- It hurt. ‘Cause like, maybe once yeah, but on _six different occasions_? How does that-“

Hendrix didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence as a crack sounded and he felt the rush of warm blood immediately gushed from his newly broken nose.

“What. The. Fuck?!” He exclaimed, but only got a ‘My hand slipped’ in response from Luke.

KEAGAN

It shouldn't surprise her yet she still didn't understand why they couldn't just keep their mouths shut. Ricky was the same, although he knew his sister enough to know what she was at least capable of. Hendrix clearly did not. It was obvious that the agent underestimated her friend as he was still trying to find his breathing. However, no one surrounding him feel any sympathy for the idiot.

And for whatever professionalism they had, it simply went out of the window when he continued to run his mouth. Her eyes narrowed, hands on her hip as she raised her chin to look at him as he tried to point out where the misunderstanding was. Although her incredulity didn't last very long since the next second, he was found bending over with his hands on his nose.

Honestly, if Luke didn't punch him, Keagan herself would. The Deputy got in-between them, not to prevent them from going against each other *again* but to grab the agent by the scruff - she was giving mercy by not going for his throat. Using her momentum, she lifted him and slammed into the opposite wall - much harder than she should have, being only one in the room with the enhanced strength. "Agent Goodwin, I think I've given you more than enough warnings. You're lucky I didn't punch you myself. Don't come back here again unless Cabot herself gave the order." There was a reason why she tolerated him as a member of the team over the years.

With a last shove, she backed off, "Blake, he's all yours. Nix, go with them and for everyone's sake, make sure he gets on that plane." She turned her focus back on Luke with a subtle smirk, "Do you need ice for your hand too?"

LUKE

For the life of her, Luke just did not understand her best friend's choices when it came to men. And considering she didn't think she had it in her to ever actually _ask_ after her reasoning, Luke just figured she would never know. For starters, getting anything out of Keagan that she didn't volunteer up herself was always a struggle in and of itself, and besides, why ask questions you may not actually want the answers to right?

After all, Luke had already gotten more than plenty of information that she could've gone her entire life without just in the thirty seconds before she did the first thing she could think of to keep this asshat from spreading Keagan's personal information all over her new workplace..._on her second day_. Once Keagan had stepped in, she knew well to go ahead and take step back and let her handle the rest of the matter on her own.

Granted the smug look Goodwin Sent Luke's way as he was slammed agains the wall almost had her forgetting where she was. _Almost_. This was still Keagan's place of employment, and whether she liked it or not, Goodwin was still technically her coworker.

Luke kept her focus on Blake and Nix as they escorted the man out the door, not wanting to give herself any idle time to begin replaying and over analyzing the man's words. Once she started, she'd be hard pressed to stop, and she still had things to do.

She offered the older woman a small smile and shook her head. "Nah, it wasn't that bad. I think I've hit plaster that was sturdier than that," she chuckled, trying to keep the mood light. "I, uh, should be heading back to the gym though. Oh, there's a lunch bag in the smaller one of the boxes. Seems your haste to get up here this morning, you forgot it. Should still be warm, and before you tell me you're not hungry, I would greatly appreciate it if my cooking didn't go to waste."

KEAGAN

Hendrix really thought it was a good idea to discuss this at the station, Keagan should really have knocked him out the moment he stepped foot into her office. "I just don't want you to have a broken hand again." She relaxed the moment they led the agent out the door. "Oh. You brought lunch for me too?" The deputy glanced at the boxes she had in her office as if she would just miraculously see the lunch bag. "Thanks.." Keagan smiled, "I promise I'll enjoy it."

She sighed, "Let me know what you'll tell Sky later so I don't accidentally blow your cover." She chuckled as she walked Luke back to her motorcycle.

[soundsof71]

So, considering you are a passionate fan of music released in 1971, I feel justifiably obligated to ask you what you think of Buffy Sainte-Marie's 'She Used to Wanna Be a Ballerina' album. 😂 (Also, it would make me beyond happy if you could post more about Buffy, my friend! Thank you! ❣)

Buffy Sainte-Marie + Crazy Horse - what’s not to love? LOL I confess that it was the Crazy Horse connection that caught my attention first. I had a general idea who Buffy was, had seen her on TV a few times, but I was a big Crazy Horse fan. News that they were her backing band for this album was easily enough for me to scoop it up.

They weren’t doing anything much with Neil Young in 1971 (other than this album, on which Neil also appeared!), but they had released a tasty solo album in February 71, produced by Jack Nitzsche (who also produced this, and would later marry Buffy), and featuring Ry Cooder (also featured here, although did not marry Buffy). 

(btw, the first place that Buffy, Ry, and Jack worked together was on the Nic Roeg film Performance, starring Mick Jagger. People obviously remember Mick in that, but musically, Buffy was the best part!) 

She Used To Wanna... also features Jesse Ed Davis, a Native American guitarist and singer who was a frequent “usual suspect” at these sort of “sure, invite everyone!” jam albums of the era, and played a prominent role at 1971′s biggest concert (at least in the US), The Concert for Bangladesh on August 1.

(I know you know  RUMBLE: The Indians Who Rocked The World, the documentary about indigenous music’s influence on rock and roll, which has chapters on both Buffy and Jesse Ed. I just watched it again recently, and love it! A reminder of Buffy’s pivotal role in classic rock history. Not mentioned in the film: she relentlessly championed the work of her fellow Canadians Joni Mitchell and Leonard Cohen, helping them get their first record deals.)

I haven’t listened to She Used To Wanna Be A Ballerina for a while, so I definitely need to do that, along with posting more pictures of Buffy.  (I can’t believe I’ve only posted two!) 

But I’ll tell you what still stands out to me about that record years later. “Smack Water Jack” is an underrated track from Carole King’s Tapestry that got a ton of airplay at the time. Quincy Jones did an instrumental cover as the title track for his terrific 1971 album, too, but it has somehow faded to obscurity since then. Buffy takes a playful trifle, and turns it into a powerful fable of men of color who explode into violence in response to the violence visited upon them, and self-satisfaction of whites in authority who answer their demands for better living conditions by killing them on the spot. 

No need for a trial when you can murder them in the streets, right? “You can't talk to a man when he don't wanna understand / And he don't wanna understand” hits different when Buffy sings it, and in 2020 for that matter. 

It’s also just a terrific performance whose combination of soul and rock and roll and driving piano in a sort of Old West-sounding context would have made this sound right at home on a record like Elton John’s Tumbleweed Connection  or something by The Band. I’m limited to five video embeds per post so I can’t embed it here, so I'm linking instead: anyone who hasn’t heard this definitely needs to.

Her cover of Neil’s CSNY track “Helpless” has things I like even better than Neil’s original, including Merry Clayton standing in for CSN. Buffy’s version is more muscular (thanks again to Crazy Horse), and taps even more deeply into the isolation of the song that the star power of CSNY somewhat obscured. 

Buffy’s version also made a brief but memorable appearance in the 2018 film Hotel Artemis, starring Jodie Foster. A weird little movie that I loved maybe more than it deserved LOL but I recommend nonetheless:

I know that this album gets attention because of the unusual number of covers, including one by Leonard Cohen, and a cover of a cover that Leonard had made famous on top of that, called "Song of the French Partisan” (hers is the far superior version imo, a song of French resistance to Nazi occupation from the perspective of a woman hiding a resister), but there are a couple of standout originals too. 

I love the title of this record, and the title track is a delightful little stomper that playfully cautions against equating the intentions of grown women with the childhood fantasies they’ve grown out of. More Merry Clayton goodness here on backing vocals too. 

“Soldier Blue” is a powerful song first written for the 1970 film of the same name, billed at the time as “The most savage film in history” -- and maybe it was. It used the 1864 Sand Creek Massacre as a metaphor for Vietnam, and it's still shockingly brutal. It was the third-highest grossing movie in the UK in 1971, though, and the single became a top-10 hit for Buffy there. 

It didn’t do as well here, either the song or the movie. Perhaps not shockingly in retrospect, Soldier Blue was pulled from American theaters after a few days, the Vietnam metaphor not at all lost on the Nixon administration. 

As horrifying as it was, this is about when I was reading Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee (first published in 1970), and Soldier Blue resonated with me in a whole lot of ways. Here’s the song in the opening credits of the movie.

I was also really struck by “Moratorium”, which is the story of “Universal Soldier” (from her 1963 debut, but a bigger hit for Donovan in 1965), coming from the opposite direction. In the earlier song, she blamed war on the soldiers who think that fighting is honorable, but here, she has empathizes with the young men, boys really in many cases, who’ve been lied to by their countries, their parents, and even their friends. They’re not vainglorious. They’ve been duped by people they trusted. 

(I don't think she takes enough into account how many men sign up to fight because they want to embrace and celebrate their worst, most violent impulses, which was of course an undercurrent of “Universal Soldier”, but I appreciate her empathy here. More than one thing is true at a time.)

Buffy goes even farther, though, calling on soldiers to support and validate demands for peace as explicitly supporting them, summed up in the unforgettable cry, "Fuck the war and bring our brothers home!" 

1971 was the peak of antiwar demonstrations in the US, with the biggest crowds ever seen in this country until the 2017 Women’s March. The May 1971 demonstrations pretty much shut down Washington, culminating with Vietnam Veterans Against The War throwing back their medals on the steps of the US Capitol, incredibly powerful stuff to see on TV in my formative years, and Buffy was right there in it. Anti-war songs were a cottage industry for sure, but nobody was writing with the nuance and empathy that Buffy was.

Here’s a 1972 performance of “Moratorium”, Buffy and a piano, and more emotionally bare than that:

There’s obviously lots more to say about Buffy, far outside the realm of protest music that was actually just a small part of her musical palette -- her pioneering experiments with electronic music, her educational philanthropy starting in her 20s, Sesame Street, you name it. Her commercial peak was still in front of her, and while I can’t say that this is my favorite of her records, it does have some of my favorite songs of hers, and 1971 and She Used to Wanna Be A Ballerina is definitely where I went from knowing who Buffy Sainte-Marie was to being a fan. 

I'll also note as I do now and again that while this blog started as an offshoot of a book on 1971 that I’d started but abandoned, I mostly listen to music released now. That’s always been my policy, including in 1971. When 1972 rolled up, I was mostly listening to music from 1972, music from ‘80 in ‘80, ‘91 in ‘91, 2018 in 2018, etc., to name just a few other favorites. (Plus The Beatles, okay? LOL I still listen to The Beatles every day. No apologies.) Honestly? It took me until 2011, in my fifties, when a whole bunch of 40th anniversary editions of 1971 albums got released all at once that made me think, “Wait a minute, this was maybe THE pivotal year in classic rock history!” 

So yeah, the historian in me dug into 1971, but even though I happened to be alive and enthralled by music in that year, what I’m doing here has nothing to do with nostalgia, or any idea that that was the *best* year in music, even if for the narrow slice of music that is classic rock, yeah, it absolutely is. For soul/R&B too, and for the explosion of women artists outside the even narrower confines of pop as well. This is not subject to debate. No year like it, before or since. It's just that classic rock is a such a narrow slice, and I like my slices wide. LOL Which is also why my blog has less and less 1971 content as I go along. 

While my general policy is that my favorite year for music is THIS year, this particular year hasn’t left me as much energy as usual for listening to music. Some of it is These Trying Times™, some of it is my bipolarity and schizophrenia getting the better of me in waves, as is the way with these, uhm, things. (Keep taking those meds, kids!) I listen to music and post about the people making it as a creative act, not a passive or reflexive one, and I just haven’t felt as creative as usual.

(This is also has everything to do with why so many Asks have been piling up unanswered. I apologize if you’re one of the many kind and indulgent souls who’s gotten in touch, but I swear I’m gonna get to ‘em all!)

To get an idea of what I’m ACTUALLY passionate about right now, my “to be edited later” running list of 2020 favorites randomly added to a playlist as I encounter them, to be properly curated later, is at Spotify, cleverly entitled “2020″ -- 94% women, which is about right. LOL 

But since I do in fact listen to old stuff (by which I mean 2019 LOL), I made a list of mostly 2020 bangers from women rockers with some tasty treats from 2019 that I haven’t been able to let go of just yet, inspired by a post I saw at tumblr saying that punk music by women is just plain better (also beyond debate), called “Women Bangers: A Tumblr New Classics Jam”. I’ll be posting an essay with a YouTube playlist soon, because god forbid that I only talk briefly about anything LOL and most of these women need to be heard AND seen.

Like Buffy Sainte-Marie, whom you'll both see and hear more often on my blog soon. Thanks for the reminder! Always a pleasure to hear from you and be challenged by you. :-)

Peace, Tim 

[sdktrs12]

( Days 1 - 8 ) ( Days 9 - 16 ) ( Day 17 ) ( Day 18 ) ( Day 19 )

I apologize profusely for being late yet again and this lengthy chapter! Ratings bump - E (smut, smut, smut)

Beth watches from the doorway of her office as Annie takes an extra roll of white streamer and wraps it around Mick’s arm, slapping a piece of tape on it to hold before moving on to the other arm.  

He’d shown up to the Halloween party almost half an hour ago, sans costume and Rio, and Annie had pouted for all of five seconds before deciding she would just DIY him a costume instead.  

Apparently, he was going to be a mummy.

Beth bets he’ll probably rethink showing up costumeless next year.  

Or coming at all.  

She’s itching to ask him about Rio, but she’s also refusing to give in to temptation.  

He’ll show up when he shows up.  

If he comes at all... 

Beth smiles as Annie moves on from Mick’s arms to his neck and head and he tries to shake her off.  

She bites her tongue on yelling for her not to be wasteful, because they could recycle the Halloween decorations that didn’t get used for other holidays.  

But it’s just too much fun watching her little sister struggle to wrap up this surly, stocky, fairly intimidating man.  

She’d forced Annie to come in earlier to help her decorate for this party, grumbling the whole way even though she was the one who’d wanted to throw the damn thing, and they’d even roped Ruby in to help as well.  

They’d set up orange, black, and white balloons, streamers, banners and backdrops. Beth had added flashing lights, a fog machine, and a rented photo booth opposite the snack and drink table.  

And Annie had at least proven more than useful in that department, conjuring up some “potions” into shot glass tubes labeled ‘snake venom’ and ‘vampire blood’ and ‘witch brew’. 

Beth hears a loud laugh and looks over to her left, already knowing who it is before she even sees him.  

Dean’s standing by one of the hot tubs with Eric, talking to one of the new hires, Jessica.  

Jessica’s perched on the side of the hot tub, perky and cute and smiling up at Dean as he animatedly tells some story, flinging his arms out wide, almost hitting someone behind him and then he brings them in close again, pulling a truly goofy face and oh—Beth knows this story.  

She knows this facial expression and these wild gestures and she smiles as she anticipates the punchline, two seconds before all three of them start laughing and—

God, it’s...strange, being on the outside looking in at these jokes now.  

They’d come to this party separately, haven’t even interacted much since it started, but she still feels his presence, still knows exactly where to look to find him at any given moment and—

There he goes, head turning, eyes searching her out now that he’s finished his story, almost on instinct.  

He smiles and nods when he spots her and she returns the gesture and then he’s turning back to the small group and she wonders if that habit will ever fade. 

Beth steps away from the office door, moving further into the store, toward the drinks.  

She smiles and greets people as she goes, a little self conscious as she adjusts the hem of her dress, pulling at it a little.  

Honestly, she should never have let Annie have any say in her costume, but she’d been feeling desperate, this being the first Halloween party she’d been to in years that wasn’t just for the children.  

She’d spotted the witch hat while shopping for Annie’s Halloween costume and had immediately thought of Mick and known it was perfect for the party. She’d originally planned to wear it on its own, but then Annie had come swooping in, talking about some black dress she’d just seen that would be perfect for it.  

Said black dress turned out to be skin tight.  

But it at least covered a fair amount of skin, with a fairly decent length and covered chest, but it had an open and plunging back.  

When Mick had shown up, he’d taken one good look at her and turned away, but Beth swears she saw a smile before he did.  

Beth grabs a tube labeled ‘poison’, trying to remember what Annie said was in each one.  

She thinks this one might be vodka and...lime juice?  

Beth glances over in Annie’s direction, hoping to get her attention, and freezes, her heart skipping a beat because...

There he is.  

He’s leaning into Mick, trying to tell him something and Beth wonders what, how important and private it must be that he doesn’t want it shouted over the music playing.  

Annie’s talking to Ruby and Beth briefly wonders where Stan is before her attention is turning back to Rio.  

He’s wearing a deep blood red henley and dark jeans and she rolls her eyes because of course he didn’t dress up—but then he’s moving away from Mick and Beth’s mouth drops open slightly as she sees him fully, because there on his head are two red devil horns.  

Beth turns away quickly, biting back her grin as she tries to focus on the tube in her hand and the pale green liquid inside. She brings it up to her lips and quickly drinks it, tossing the empty tube into the recycling bin as she glances back over her shoulder at Rio...

Except he’s gone.  

Beth turns fully then, neck craning as she tries to see through the crowd and find him again.  

She moves slowly around the outskirts of the party, eyes on the crowd, so when she reaches the photo booth, she almost screams when a hand reaches out and grabs her wrist and yanks her in.  

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She hisses, shoving at Rio as she straightens herself up from where she’d been practically laid out across his lap. 

He ignores her question, eyes raking over her from head to toe and Beth pulls down at her dress where it’s ridden up, suddenly realizing how very small this photo booth is.  

“You look good mama. Suits you.” He observes with a smirk, still entirely too close for her brain to function properly.  

“Could say the same for you.” She retorts, reaching up and poking at his horns and he grins as he snatches her hand and brings it down to his mouth, biting at one of her knuckles and Beth yelps as she yanks it away from him.  

“Or maybe a vampire would’ve been more on brand.” She corrects, rubbing her finger over the mark he’s left and then she sucks in a sharp breath as he leans in close, mouth right next to her ear. “I can be both if that’s what you’re into, sweetheart.”  

“You know what I’m into—”  

“Lemme guess, people who knock?”  

And he has the nerve to laugh, because of course he would think his own jokes are just hilarious.  

“Why are you even in here? Do you actually show up in pictures or do you ghost out of those as well?”  

And there he goes, laughing again and making her want him so badly she can taste it.  

“I don’t know, ma, why don’t we find out.” He says it like it’s a challenge and she furrows her eyebrows, biting at her bottom lip because she’s serious...

“I’m serious, you have to take pictures like a normal person.” She says slowly and Rio rolls his eyes as his jaw clenches.

“I take pictures like a normal person, you let me bend you over that desk.”  

And just—what?

“No one said this was a negotiation.”  

“But ain’t it more fun if it is?”  

She glares at him and he just stares right back and she feels a flush creeping across her chest the longer she lets this silent battle stretch out.  

“Fine.” Beth reaches over and slaps her hand down on the button to start the pictures.  

The booth lights up in a soft glow, a voice coming over the little speakers to give directions and tips for the best pictures, but Rio and Beth are just staring at each other, still caught in this moment, neither one willing or able to break it, and Beth’s already cataloguing every detail, right down to the lick of his lips and the slow blink of his eyes as he brings his hand up, brushing it over her cheek just as the flash goes off for the first picture.  

And then Beth is practically crawling into his lap in the already limited space, and her skirt is too tight, she can’t position her legs the way she wants so she just ends up sitting in his lap as she slides her hands around to the back of his neck, gripping it tightly as she pulls him into a kiss.  

She pushes down on him, smacking his head against the wall as she grinds her ass into his lap and he groans against her mouth, arms coming up to wrap tightly around her and squeeze.  

The flash keeps going off until the pictures are all done and they have to pull apart to come up for air.  

And then there’s a knock against the side of the booth and a tentative question of whether they’re done or not and Rio shifts Beth off his lap, moving past her to exit the booth first, leaning off to the side and then reaching in and tugging her out by the hand.  

He makes a beeline straight for her office and Beth feels like her whole body is on fire with the way he pulls her through the crowd, the sense of urgency he always seems to feel when it comes to—this, to them, makes her chest ache with want.

He steps aside so she can go in first and then closes and locks the door, going around to each window and shutting the blinds and Beth laughs as she takes her witch hat off and tosses it aside, running her fingers through her hair. “You’ve never been very subtle.”  

“I’ve never been a lot o’ things before you, darlin’.”  

Beth glances over her shoulder and sees he’s done with the blinds, just standing and watching her now, and the laser focus he has, has her feeling a bit bold as her hands find the hem of her dress, fingers hooking in to shimmy the fabric up and over her ass as she leans over the desk, planting her hands firmly on top and she sucks in a sharp breath when he’s instantly on her, hands sliding over her ass, down her thighs, swiping between her legs like he craves every inch of her skin and he doesn’t know where to start first.  

Her breath quickens, breasts straining against her dress as her chest heaves a little and then his mouth is biting at her shoulder as she rocks back against him, and he’s plastering himself to her back, pushing her down with his body as he shoves things off the desk, until she’s pressed flat against it.  

He rocks himself against her a little, grinding into her, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing over the silk of her underwear and jesus, Beth really thinks she could come just like this.  

He continues his slow assault on her senses even as he lifts up, his fingertips trailing down the expanse of exposed skin at her back. He leans down and places a single kiss along her spine and Beth shivers as she pushes back against him.  

She thinks he can sense her impatience, because he slows down even more and she whines in frustration.  

“You need something, baby?” He asks, laughter in his voice and Beth pushes herself halfway up. “You are so annoying.”  

But then he’s placing a flat palm against her back and pushing her back down, growling out a “Stay.” that has wet heat shooting low and jesus, she thinks she’s soaked through her underwear already and he’s barely touched her.  

He reaches down and yanks her underwear off and then he’s bending down and biting one of her ass cheeks and Beth jerks against the desk as she gasps. 

She swings her arm back to smack him and he grabs her wrist, pinning it against the small of her back as his other hand unzips his jeans and Beth tries to pull her hand away, but his grip just tightens and then he’s kicking at her feet, spreading her legs further apart right before he pushes into her and Beth bites down on her lip to stop from crying out, her free hand smacking against the top of the desk.  

“Fuck, Elizabeth...drive me fuckin’ crazy.” He husks, pressing into her wrist harder as he pulls out slowly and then thrusts back in just as slowly, repeating the motion again and again and again until Beth feels like she can’t take anymore.  

“God, Rio please...” She breathes out trying to pull at her wrist once more, and this time he lets her go, pulling out of her and yanking her up and spinning her around, dropping her right on top of the desk before pushing into her again just as his thumb swipes over her clit and Beth sees stars, eyes closing as her hand yanks at Rio’s shirt and he kisses her, swallowing her moans as she comes. She slumps against him and he slows his thrusts into short shallow ones as he places soft kisses along her neck and collarbone and lips.  

And then he’s gathering her up close in his arms, holding her tight as he fucks into her fast and hard, chasing after his own orgasm, and she strokes her hands over his hair and neck and shoulders, shivering a little when she feels him come inside of her.  

They stay like that, clinging to one another, for awhile and Beth thinks this might be her favorite part.

This part right after, when he’s still inside of her, the hard, sharp planes of his body pressed so firmly, so surely, against her soft curves, breathing heavily against her skin as he presses open mouthed kisses there.  

This part when he’s soft and pliant and trembles beneath her gentle touch.  

He gently pulls out of her and she lets out a shuddering breath as she keeps a grip on his arm, keeping him close and he chuckles as he pulls his clothing back into place and reaches over, grabbing a few tissues from the box that’s knocked over next to her, gently wiping between her legs, and then tossing the tissue in the trash bin.  

Beth looks up at him and laughs as she realizes he’s still wearing the horns, although a bit more lopsided now.  

He grins as he reaches up and takes them off, slipping them onto her head instead, hands sliding through her hair, tugging her head back as he pulls her into another kiss.  

“Diabla...” He murmurs against her lips and Beth thinks she can probably guess what that means.

He pulls away from her, reaching down to grab her underwear and help her slide them back on and then he helps her off the desk to pull her dress back into place.  

“You go first.” She says, still feeling a little wobbly on her legs as she pats at her hair, and swipes at her eye makeup.  

She turns around, surveying the mess scattered across the floor and she’s about to bend down and pick up her witch hat when she feels him behind her as he presses his hand into hers. “See you out there.” He whispers in her ear, lips brushing against her shoulder and then he’s gone and Beth lifts her hand up, unfurling her fingers to look at the slip of photo paper he’d pressed into her palm— the top half of the pictures of them from the photo booth.

[swifteforeverandalways]

Sethkeda "I'd Lie"

Notes: I've had this for about four years or so now. I never finished it but now I have. Song is I'd Lie by Taylor Swift (unfortunately still unreleased). The joke I saw on Facebook earlier today.

Tag Squad: @lilmissriottbliss

I don’t think that passenger seat

Has ever looked this good to me

He tells me about his night

And I count the colors in his eyes

Takeda slid into the passenger seat, smiling at Seth. Seth gave Takeda a grin back.

“So how was your night?” Takeda asked, sitting back.

“Pretty good,” Seth said, flashing Takeda a bright smile. Takeda smiled back, momentarily stunned by how beautiful Seth’s eyes were. They weren’t just a normal brown color, there was so much more to them. They were warm brown, a few hints of a golden color, and so beautiful.

He’ll never fall in love he swears

As he runs his fingers through his hair

I’m laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong

“So, your sister picked up her girlfriend?” Seth asked, raising an eyebrow. Takeda chuckled, nodding.

“Yeah, as much as I like hanging out with them, they get too lovey-dovey,” Takeda said with a shake of his head. As much as he enjoyed seeing his sister happy and in love, he always felt like a third wheel when he hung out.

“I’m never going to fall in love,” Seth said, running his fingers through his hair with a laugh. Takeda let out a laugh, somewhat forcedly. He was hoping Seth was wrong about that.

And I don't think it ever crossed his mind

He tells a joke, I fake a smile

But I know all his favorite songs

And…

Inside, Takeda felt hurt. He didn’t think that it ever crossed Seth’s mind, the way that he felt about him.

“Oh, I need to tell you a joke I heard last night,” Seth said.

“Tell,” Takeda said, settling back into his seat. Seth grinned.

“So I saw this on Facebook actually. A dog named Holland Jagger goes to the bank and asks to take out a loan. The bank teller, a woman named Patty Whack, looks at the dog and asks ‘okay, I guess we can help you with that. May I ask what your name is?’. so the dog told her his name. Patty recognized the Jagger name and asked if he had any relationship to Mick Jagger. The dog replied that Mick Jagger is his father. Patty nodded and asked ‘Do you have anything for collateral?’. The dog pulled out a small, pink ceramic elephant and handed it over. Patty was confused and told the dog that she wasn’t sure if they could accept it. Calmly, the dog told her that the manager knows his father and to ask him. Patty went to the manager and told him ‘Sir, there is a dog outside who is trying to get a loan from us. He says that his name is Holland Jagger and is trying to use this weird elephant as collateral.’ The manager takes the figurine and explained, ‘So what’s the problem. It’s a knick-knack Patty Whack, give the dog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone’.” Takeda forced a smile onto his face, personally he thought the joke was a bit cheesy. Seth grinned back and turned up the radio, it was one of his favorite songs. Takeda knew all of his favorite songs. Every single one.

[Chorus:]

I could tell you his favorite color's green

He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth

His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes

Takeda knew so much about Seth. He knew that Seth’s favorite color was green. But not the bright jade green of Takeda’s sister. More of a darker, forest green. He knew that Seth loved to argue and that his birthday was on the seventeenth. Takeda knew Seth’s sister, both his biological sister Jillian and his foster sister Bobbi, was beautiful. Even though Takeda had never met Seth’s father, he had seen pictures and could see the similarity in the eyes.

And if you asked me if I love him,

I’d lie

As much as Takeda felt for Seth, there was one thing he would lie about. To everyone and anyone. If anyone asked him if Takeda loved Seth, he’d lie.

He looks around the room

Innocently overlooks the truth

It was a Valentine’s Day party, just a small one. Seth was there with his sister Jillian and their brother Trevor. Takeda was by the drinks, looking over at Seth. While the other couples were hanging out, Seth was just leaning against the wall. He didn’t realize how Takeda felt.

Shouldn’t a light go on?

Doesn’t he know that I’ve had him memorized for so long?

Takeda wished that Seth would realize the truth. That he could see the truth. That he could see that Takeda had him memorized in all of the best ways.

He sees everything black and white

Never let nobody see him cry

I don’t let nobody see me wishing he was mine

Takeda knew how Seth thought, how he felt like things were in black and white. How he felt he needed to be strong, so no one would ever see him cry. And like Seth never letting anyone see him cry, Takeda would never let anyone see how he wished Seth was his.

[Chorus]

He stands there, then walks away

My god if I could only say,

"I’m holding every breath for you..."

Takeda watched as Seth pushed away from the wall, walking away. Takeda’s heart ached, wishing he could tell Seth how he felt. He wished he could tell Seth that he was holding his breath for him. That he wanted him.

He’d never tell you but he can play guitar

I think he can see through everything but my heart

Takeda knew that Seth played guitar, and was good at it. The two of them liked to jam when they were hanging out. Takeda on drums. Seth on guitar. Takeda’s sisters, Jade and Mileena, would occasionally join with Jade on vocals or guitar and Mileena on whichever one Jade wasn’t. He also knew that Seth could see everything, almost everything. Seth was the first to see how in love Jade was with Bobbi, but he could never see how in love Takeda was with Seth.

First thought when I wake up

Is "My god, he’s beautiful."

So I put on my make-up

And pray for a miracle

Takeda woke up, the first thought on his mind was the same as always. He thought of Seth, and how much he loved Seth. How insanely attractive Seth was. How beautiful. Taking a quick shower, Takeda put on the small amount of makeup he wore. He didn’t wear much, but growing up with two sisters had him using concealer and other foundational makeup. He hoped maybe today, Seth would feel for him.

Yes, I could tell you his favorite color's green

He loves to argue, oh, and it kills me

His sister's beautiful, he has his father’s eyes

And if you asked me if I love him

If you asked me if I love him

I’d lie

[littlespoonevan]

So like...if you’re feeling it I’d straight up kill for a drabble of your thoughts of what happens after the wedding before the end tag. Them getting to the hotel together? Going to sleep together as a married couple? Honestly peak and also don’t look at me I’m emo.

i got you, anon!!!! listen i still have those sentence prompts in my inbox so i’m sure i’ll probably write plenty more wedding related fics but for now, here’s a couple of hours after the wedding ends :’)))

*

Ian feels jittery behind the wheel, thankful theroads are quiet since he keeps looking away from the windscreen and grinning atMickey every five seconds.

Holy fuck, they’re married.

They did it. They made it.

And Ian’s never letting Mickey go ever again.

He can feel Mickey’s eyes on him, a mixture of affectionand something else that sets a fire burning in Ian’s stomach. And he wantsnothing more than to drive them straight to the hotel but he has to make a pitstop first.

“Weren’t you supposed to take the last right?” Mickeyasks when Ian keeps driving straight ahead.

Ian casts him a sidelong glance, mouth quirking atthe corners. “Just gotta make one quick stop first.”

Mickey raises an eyebrow but doesn’t question it,just drops his hand to cover Ian’s on the gearstick.

When they reach their destination Ian can’t hold backhis smile anymore, putting the car in park and turning his gaze to Mickey.Mickey’s stare goes from the sign above the door to Ian, a tiny wrinkle ofconfusion between his eyebrows. “The fuck we doing at a tattoo parlour?”

“S’your wedding present,” Ian tells him softly,squeezing Mickey’s hand before climbing out of the car.

“You’re gettin’ me a tattoo for a wedding present?”Mickey asks, quickly hopping out the car and following after him.

“Nope,” Ian says, throwing Mickey a wink over hisshoulder. “I’m getting a tattoo.”

Mickey scoffs. “And how exactly is that a present forme?”

“You’ll see,” Ian replies, grabbing Mickey’s hand anddragging him inside with him. He makes Mickey sit in the waiting area in thecorner while he talks to the girl behind the counter, making his way back overto him as she starts getting the station ready.

“Stay here,” Ian requests. “It’ll take like, fifteenminutes then you can see.”

Mickey shoots him a scrutinizing look like he’strying to figure out what the fuck Ian’s angle is but eventually, he nods. “Fine.But this better be worth it; you’re seriously cutting into our time in thehoneymoon suite.”

Ian ducks his head, biting back a grin. “It will be,”he promises.

True to his word, Ian is back in the waiting area fifteenminutes later, hands behind his back and staring down at Mickey with a mixtureof fear and anticipation.

“Well?” Mickey says, impatience finally getting thebetter of him.

Wordlessly, Ian holds out his left hand, palm sideup. He’s not wearing his rings and Mickey’s about to fucking kill him – again – when he notices the black ink atthe base of Ian’s ring finger. He grabs Ian’s hand and pulls it closer tohimself, touch gentling when he realises what he sees. Ian stares down at himwith wide eyes, watching Mickey’s tiny intake of breath as he turns Ian’s handover.

“I promise I’ll put the rings back on and I don’t planon taking them off again,” Ian tells him, voice only a breath above a whisper. “Butjust in case, I wanted to make sure I still always had it with me.”

Mickey’s eyes linger on the thin band of black ink onIan’s finger, his thumb hovering over the tiny m. m. interwoven in it just above where Ian’s finger meets hispalm, before he drags his eyes up to Ian’s face. Ian gazes back at him, heartin his mouth, as Mickey carefully turns his hand over once more and brushes akiss across Ian’s knuckles.

Ian lets out a trembling breath as soon as Mickey’slips make contact and Mickey’s eyes find his once again. He doesn’t know whichone of them moves first but he’s pulling Mickey up off the chair in the sameinstant that Mickey’s dragging him back out the door.

And if Ian presses a little harder on the acceleratoron the way to the hotel it has nothing to do with the way Mickey’s hand is gluedto his thigh under the steering wheel.

*

They burst through the door of the honeymoon suite ina rush, Ian stumbling backward as Mickey kisses every inch of his face he canreach. His fingers are clutching at Ian’s hair and Ian’s hands are fisted inhis tuxedo jacket and Mickey is too overwhelmed at the thought of knowing hegets to kiss Ian for the rest of his life to be able to handle any of this.

“’m so fucking in love with you,” Ian mutters againsthis lips, swallowing down Mickey’s groan and shoving at Mickey’s jacket to getit off his shoulders.

“You tryna fucking kill me today, Gallagher?” Mickeyhuffs, letting go of Ian for the least amount of time possible to kick the doorshut and throw his jacket behind him.

“No,” Ian murmurs, rolling his forehead againstMickey’s and smudging a kiss against the corner of Mickey’s mouth.

Mickey stifles a sigh, pushing forward to move Ianback towards the bed and trailing his lips along Ian’s jaw.

Ian falls onto the bed with a bounce, pulling Mickeydown with him and rolling them over. They pause, just for a moment, to catch theirbreath – though looking up at Ian, Mickey doesn’t think he’ll ever get hisbreath back.

They’re pressed together from their chests to theirtoes and there’s still far too many items of clothing between them but thismoment still feels more intense than anything they’ve shared before.

Because it ismore, he realises. They’re married. He’s inked on Ian’s skin and Ian’s inked onhis. This is it. Them. Now. Forever.

Swallowing down the lump of emotion in his throat,Mickey curls his hand around Ian’s jaw.

“Kiss me,” he whispers.

Ian’s eyes go impossibly soft and then he’s leaningdown – foreheads tipping together, noses bumping, and finally, lips. Catchinghim in a kiss that goes straight to Mickey’s toes.

It’s bliss.

*

Mickey is stretched out on the bed, half drapedacross Ian with the steady thrum of Ian’s heartbeat under his ear where Mickey’shead rests on his chest. “Turns out the afterglow’s better when you’re married,”he muses.

Ian huffs a laugh, chest vibrating under Mickey’scheek. “I think it’s just because there’s no fear of being interrupted foronce,” he says, sweeping a hand down Mickey’s back and resting it at the baseof Mickey’s spine.

“Mm, maybe,” Mickey allows drowsily, reaching out forIan’s left hand to inspect the tattoo again. His breath catches when he sees itup close, the same awe from earlier pouring through him as his eyes trace overthe band. Fucking hell, Ian Gallagher is gonna be the death of him. (He’s gonnabe his life first though.)

“I could probably put my rings back on now,” Ian saysafter a minute or two of Mickey playing with his hand. “Should be okay as longas I keep the tape on.”

Mickey nods, lifting up from Ian’s chest long enoughthat Ian can reach for his rings on the nightstand. A moment later they’re backin their original position and Ian gives his hand back to Mickey. The bottomsof the two m’s peek out beneath Ian’s ring and Mickey didn’t think it waspossible to feel more emotional rightnow.

“I fuckin’ love you,” he says quietly, words halfburied in Ian’s chest.

Ian wraps his arm around him, hand squeezing Mickey’sshoulder. “I love you too,” he whispers. And then, even more softly, “Thanksfor marrying me.”

Mickey smiles, letting his eyes fall shut. “Was alwaysgonna be you, Ian.”

It’s never even been a fucking question. He belongedwith Ian before he even knew what it meant to belong with someone.

“It was always you too, Mick.”

It’s them. Always.

*

[popculturebuffet]

The Color of Friendship Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27): A World of People

Happy Black History Month! Another day, another comission from longtime supporter of the blog Weird Kev and like a good chunk of his-non duck asks, he asked me for something outside my usual wheelhouse. In the past this has meant an episode of the short lived fox show whoops in which we found out how Santa dealt with the end of the world, didn’t know how doors worked, and interacted with some characters so thin you could remake the episode with just Mick Foley in a santa suit and carboard cutouts playing the characters lines and it’d be about the same, and earlier this month Sorry Wrong Meeting, an episode of a sitcom i’d never seen an episode of the Jeffersons about the KKK. So unsuprisingly his big comission for Black History Month was the 2000 Disney Channel Original Movie, The Color of Friendship. 

I couldn’t find much on the making of the film, which dosen’t entirely suprise me as at the time this came out, Disney was releasing around 10 a year and whlie that stopped shortly, it still was a whopping 6 a year for some time, ocasionally more ocasionaly less, slowly dwindling down to the two of year we have now. Though it’s still an ongoing concern and has been since the channel started in 83, closing in on 40 years ago, so it’s still impressive Disney hasn’t just outright phased them out. Then again the popular ones make them a lot of money and some like High School Musical and the Descendants Trilogies have broken out so big they’ve lead to spinoff books, tv series in the latter’s case, and all that stuff making them money hand over fist. So making some cheap movies that MIGHT end up making them rich and usually star people that are already on shows they have or were at one point is a no loose proposition, especially now they add an extra release to the Disney Plus callender twice a year. And while the library has it’s gaps and i’ve griped about them enough.. I will say it’s stil la damn good library and it’s nice to be able to watch a film like this, as the dvd was LONG out of print and likely horribly expensive, and while renting it was an option, it would’ve chipped into what I got commissioned for the film. Still would’ve done it it just would’ve sucked to loose money on the deal, if only two bucks, for something I had no control over. Still would do that over adding it onto the comission fee. Point is stuff that’s not been easy to get for some time is now just a few clicks or taps of the remote away, and having the VAST majority of disney’s long and storied history from theatrical to dcom to weird tv oddities like.. this thing

I don’t know what Fuzzbucket is, and frankly I don’t want to know.. I mean I will for a comission or something but i���m not going to go out of my way to find out what that thing is and if it can give me scabies through a telvision screen despite being fictional and proabably long dead. At least I tell myself it’s long dead so ic an sleep at night without worrying about that thing breaking into my house and watchnig me while I sleep changing “SOON JACOB, SOON”. So yeah while you’ll hear me complain about the gaps in DIsney Plus’ library a lot on this blog. 

I will give credit where it’s due, and what is on there is pretty expansive and now includes the Muppet Show, which I give them full credit for as that probably took a LOT of work and money to make happen. Plus WandaVision is fucking fantastic, especially now i’m finally all caught up. 

But while as I said I couldn’t find much on the making of the film I did find a bit on it’s inspiration: It was inspried by a short story wrtten by Piper Dellums, a writer, poet and activist, and daughter of Ron Dellums. Dellums is a notable congressman who fought against apartheid and constantly fought for a bill to divest from South Africa, something that SHOCKINGLY, Ronald Regan tried to veto because he was a racist disney anamatronic what did you expect, and all in all seemed pretty awesome. He sued Bush SR to try and prevent Desert Storm, in his earliest days in office had an exibit near his phsyical office of vietnam war crimes to try and hold them acountable and in general seems to be a fascenating, hardworking man who constantly and religiously fought for the people and against war. 

The story was a real life account of the Piper’s experince housing a South African Student, Marie, who the Delums Family expected to be black.. but turned out ot be white. During Apartheid, south africas racist as hell and horrifying goverment system of segregation that wasn’t abolished till the 90′s. As expected she was racist, but as a proudct of the horribly racist country she came from and much like with her fictional counterpart in this film, slowly grew to realize how fucked up her homeland was and by the time she went back, became an activist She and Piper were very close but her story ends tragically as eventually Piper stopped hearing from her after she was arrested and despite attempts to talk to her.. it was clear by the silence, and by the fact Piper visited South Africa post-aparthied to help and likely would’ve seen her.. that she was likely quitely killed by the state. But her story thankfully lives on, so join me under the cut to see how a 20 year old disney movie aired during black history month handles this difficult real life story, racisim and the 70′s. 

The Cast: Quick bit about the cast since I usually do this for first episodes of an animated show and wish i’d done so for my other film reviews so far. Though to keep things simple, i’m only doing the main four cast members, especailly since frankly outside of Mahree’s parents the rest are more supporting roles that don’t have a lot of screen time and in hte case of the south african embassy workers, are just there to be racist card board cutout villians.  Piper, who keeps her name from real life is played by Shadia Simmons, who eventually retired from acting to become a High School and Acting Teacher. During her career she was in a bunch of Disney Channel Original Movies, including the first two Zenon Movies, and was in a major role in a bunch of live action childrens shows: I Was A Sizth Grade Alien, Strange Days at Blake Holsely High, and Life with Derek, the only one of which i’ve seen and even then barely so I can’t comment on the rest of her work. Simmons does a decent job in the film, and does shine in the more dramtic scenes, not the best part of it but certainly not bad at all. 

Lindsay Haun plays Mahree, and had more of an acting career after this one, having a small recurring role on True Blood as Hadley, while also directing some smaller films. Haun is easily one of the two highlights of the movie and the best of the two main tween actresses by a mile. More on that in a bit. 

Next we have Carl Fucking Lumbly as Congressman Ron Dellums. Carl has had a long and storied career and the fucking is because of what I best know him from: Playing the Martian Manhunter Jon Jonzz on Justice League. And let me not undersell it: his version of Jon is waht made me LOVE the character, still do to this day, being the first time I encountered any version of Jon and the one I still love the most, a stoic man who tries to adapt to a world he feels he can never be a part of, adding shades to his stitled demeanour to show off his emtitons and in general being the heart and soul of what made this verison work and made me love the character with his performance. He’s done other stuff too including Cagney and Lacey, Doctor Sleepand what have you.. but he’ll always be Jonn to me and that’s not a bad thing in the slightest. Unsuprisingly he’s the other standout here. 

Finally we have Penny Johnson as Ron’s wife and Piper’s Mother Roscoe,  who played Captain Sisko’s love intrest on Deep Space 9 and was one of the leads on castle. Haven’t seen either of those but she does seem awesome and does a terrific job here. 

Moving on to the film itself.. it’s really fantastic. It has some awkwardness and goofy bollocks as you’d expect from a disney channel original movie in 2000, but it handles a really heavy subject, race relations, gracefully and clearly with the goal of educating an audience with a lot of white kids in it about race. So I can praise what it does right i’m going to be handling the parts that are a bit wobbly first so I can get to the good stuff

Awkwardness and Goofy Bollocks:

First the out and out criticism: The films TV Movie roots show in places, as this film lacks the polish these films would have later this decade, with the film barely having an opening title sequence and just sorta throwing you in, though to their credit it does open with the utterly awesome Back in Love Again, because 70′s. 

That slaps and that’s an undeniable fact. What’s also an undenaible fact is the film dosen’t try the hardest to be very 70′s in it’s sets and what not, though it does do it a little with the clothes and that not being the case with Mahree is intentional, as her family while wealthy is from another culture and one literally and metaphorically behind the times. 

I will also say Shadia Simmons is a decent actress, but is mildly weak in comparison to the other 3 in the leads, but its more the result of putting a pretty standard child sitcom actress up against two experinced actors who know what their doing and one whose about as experinced as her, but simply has a LOT to work with and goes above and beyond. It’s less that she’s bad and more that she’s simply not as good as what’s around her, and in general I tend to go easier on child actors since it’s not an easy job for a grown adult much less a teenager, it’s very pressurey and there’s a reason a LOT of them bottom out as they get older or retire all together. 

I will say though that Piper’s brothers are awful and I feel are only there because she actually had brothers. The actors try, i’m not pinning this on them but writing wise their just two little shits who contirbute ntohing of value to any scene their in, being generally way to young to get into the heavy topic at hand, and mostly being there for unfunny shneanigans. They aren’t in the film too much otherwise they might’ve ruined it for me, but if Shadia struggles a bit agianst sttronge perofrmances imagine who younger actors with the stage direction “Be the bane of my existence” and you’ll MAYBE see the problem. 

The film also loves cheesy time passing montages, including an actual factual shopping montage, easily the goofiest, but it’s something you’d expect from a dcom and helps lighten the mood. That’s a running theme outside the brothers there really isn’t anything too silly.. until the last act.  See in the last act, the film tackles the real life death of Steve Biko, a South African activist against apartheid who was captured by the state and very transparently murdered in jail. with the government claming he killed himself which no one bought because why would they, and it sparked riots worldwide and finally got the US to take Apartheid seriously according to the film. Though as I mentioned earlier Regan did not in case you thought the republican party being terrible and deeply racist was a brand new thing. It was not. Guys like Tucker Carlson and Former President Trump are a symptom, not the disease.. though they certainly look and feel like some form of plauge. Point is Mahree is breifly taken by the embassy.. whose staff who take her feel like the Disney Channel Original Movie form of Nazi’s. The heavy accents, the way they compose themselves... I half expect an elderly indiana jones to show up to whip the piss out of them. And dont’ get me wrong, the only diffrence between these pricks and a nazi is the fact they don’t call themselves nazis, this isn’t a nuanced horrifying racist to be scared of but a saturday morning cartoon version. 

While  white supremacists in real life can be cartoonishly evil, again see trump and carlson, it does kind of undercut the seriousness and nuance of things to have your villians be cold, cackling cutouts who are 5 seconds away from saying “You are part of the rebel alliance and a traitor take her away” to our heroine, especailly since Mahree’s reaction to being taken away and confusion at everything and at being treated like a prisoner by her own people are very painful and very well acted.   I do get showing them as monsters, because they were, but given Mahree’s father who as a south african police man was DEFINTELY ONE and even outside his racisim doubts and downtalks his own daughter, still feels like an actual person, if not a GOOD person, they could’ve done better and did in the same film. 

But that stuff aside.. I really can’t find much that’s honestly that silly or bad and as you can tell what little I did was more a product of being a tv movie. So now i’ve got the negatives out of the way

This Film Is Pretty Good: It truly is, for a lot of reasons. But the biggest is the nuance. It could’ve been easy to just have Maree as some racist kid needing to learn a lesson who was openly cruel and easy to jeer at.. but the film went iwth the reality: that she was instead an extremley privlaged and insulated girl who simply NEVER knew better. To her her very racist and segregated world is just the way the world worked for her and she dosen’t even consider when the Dellums come to pick her up minus Ron these aren’t servants and her own servant’s words fall on deaf ears, as the poor woman tries to make it clear how miserable her life is and how much she deseprately wants this child to do better. Marhee is never actively malicious even when, due to the shock of her all black host family, she baricades herself in Piper’s room. It’s obnoxious sure and CERTAINLY hurtful and the film makes no bones about it and Piper rightfully calls her out on it. The film dosen’t let her get away with any intetnional racisim like that and after Piper calls her out, she realizes she’s been selifsh and makes a genuine effort. And even then the film makes a good choice in not making it an easy road to realization. Mahree makes a genuine effort in the first place not because of any big revelation or anything, but because she simply hears her dad in her head telling her she’d give up after a week and that, coupled with Piper’s words, makes her see herself as a selfish brat. Even after she’s floored by a mall where black and white people stand side by side aand casually talks about horrors like ID Cards like i’ts a GOOD thing, because that’s what she’s been taught by her dad. That black people are happy being told where they can and can’t go when no they weren’t they simply had no chocie in the matter. And while we do see early on when an asshole at a restraunt assaults a waiter for an accident that Mahree clearly isn’t okay with the more horrifying side of things, she still dosen’t quite grasp WHY that happened, simply that it’s something that does reguarly she dosen’t like. It’s excellently, and unsuprisingly called back when they visit an ice cream place in the states and something similar happens.. but the guy takes it in stride, even ordering a sundae, to Maree’s confusion. 

It’s what makes the film work and all the more striking: As Roscoe makes clear to Ron, whose admant about nto having a racist in the house, this is not her fault. While the film makes it clear Mahree’s behavior at first was not okay and her prejudiece is not okay, it also makes it VERY clear she’s a product of a terrible system and terrible parenting from people who choose to benneift from the system instead of challenge it. She’s only like this because she hasn’t had a reason to ever think diffrent and just took her parents at face value and no mater the country, this is something that sadly happens far too often: Someone hating a group or thinking discrimination is okay because that’s how they were taught and that’s all they’ve known and the only way to change that is to challenge that opinon and try to get them to have some empathy and see the other way and as this film shows it’s a struggle.. and at the end of the day while the Dellums make a concentrated effort, Maree is the one who has to realize what her parents taught her is bad and her country is inherently flawed and NEEDS to change, just like ours did, and STILL badly needs to. 

And that’s where the nuance kicks in as the good congressman is understandable in not wanting a racist in his house... but his wife is equally right that Maree is not some easy symbol of his hatred towards south africa, but a girl who grew up knowing nothing more than the fucked up system, and eventually he comes around, realizing , especially after she apologizes for him even thinking she’d use a racial slur on piper after a very powerful conversation with the two and piper accidently saying she used the South African N Word, almost accidently getting her friend thrown out, that she simply hasn’t been outside her shell and gently guides her to keep reading roots, even letting her take it with her if she wants back home. The film shows the full pain of the situation  but also shows change is posisble. Again it’s not easy, Mahree has a panic attack waiting in an almost all black line in school and it’s shown to be as horrible a thought as it is., but she DOES change and it comes off as real, as someone realizing the system they grew up with is broken and needs to be fixed and she can’t just sit back and let it. 

What makes this happen, besides the aformentioned kidnapping by saturday morning cartoon racists, is Piper confronting her after a friend from south africa forces Piper to acccept that while her and Mahree are friends, Mahree might not seee her as equal and Piper in turn in a heated argument and easily Simmons best performance of the film, that things are broken and wrong and that her “firend”, her nanny/servant back home, is not happy. It leaves Mahree crying and Ron telling her the honest truth: Change was, and again still is but this was 2000 and while we should’ve had this talk disney channel wasn’t ready for it, needed to make things better here.. and tha’ts what south african’s doing> Fighting for equal rights at last. It’s some powerful, heavy as hell stuff you woudln’t expect from a line of movie that also include a robot house, before that was an actual thing, a merMAN dad MerMan, a boy slowly turning into a leprechaun, and at least two diffrent movies centering around wacky kidnappings. It’s a nuanced and hard look at race, as hard as late 90′s jsut turned into the 2000′s disney could get mind, aimed at kids and the film, whiel stilted really has my utter praise. It’s genuinely moving, well acted and teaches a valuable message that while not eveyrone can change.. it dosen’t hurt to try and help them, as well as the equal message that change start with YOU. someone has to WANT to be better and learn and actually let other people in to help them. And I wont’ lie and say this is the most naunced or subtle film.. at time’s it’s about as subtle as a ralph wiggum throught he window

But sometimes you don’t need to be. It also taught kids about apartheid, not me as I barely saw the film, but many learned of something ghoulsih that had barely ended at the time of the film’s release, something I only learned about as a teen via bloom county and a diffrent world, which has an utterly awesome apartheid episode “A World Alike”. Seriously check it out if you have prime, as it shows that america isn’t the only country with a deep history of ingraned racisim. And was it an easy way to have an anti racisim narriative without fully confronting america’s own racist history? Yup. Just.. yup. Can I blame Disney Channel for it when they clearly, while equipped to tackle racisim, weren’t ready to tackle something that dense or heavy, and while Proud Family later would there’s a diffrence between a 20 minute one off episode of a cartoon and 90 minutes of film? Yeah. For what it is and for what the time period is, I applaud this film taking on such a heavy topic with grace. Some goofyiness here and there yes and some lack of subtly.. but still grace. For what it is is, it’s pretty good and i hope to show it to my nieces one day soon. It has i’ts heart in the right place and thus has a place in my heart. See you next rainbow. 

[mrslackles]

The Right to Remain Silent

Summary: Beth's FBI. Rio's... not.

[A/N: This is an unfinished work that I scrapped but I’m posting because of this tag game. I rounded out writing three of the main parts of the first chapter that I already had mostly done so it would be readable, but like I said, it is most certainly unfinished; there are whole middle chunks missing that I never got around to writing.]

**

“Ruby, do you think there's any way back once you're a bad person?”

She can almost hear her best friend frown on the other end of the line.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, if you've crossed over, do you think it’s possible to find your way back?”

There’s silence for a moment. Then Ruby lets out a breath. 

“I… I guess it depends how far you went. How bad what you did is.”

“The worst.” She swallows. “The worst possible everything.”

**

One week earlier

**

Beth’s feeling really good about herself.

So good that she’s even considering buying everyone in the office coffee. She thinks she’ll drink hers here, though. At least her first cup. She’s still high off yesterday’s bust and she doesn’t need the humdrum of today spoiling it just yet.

The barista smiles at her, catching her eye, then winks and goes ahead making her usual order.

“Lemme get that for you.”

Beth turns. There’s a guy beside her facing forward, his collar up, but he’s looking at her from the corner of his eye.

She smiles. “That’s not necessary.”

“Oh, but I wanna.”

“No, thank you,” she says more firmly, letting the smile go.

“Oh, c'mon darlin,” he says, voice smooth as honey. “How else’s a guy s’pposed to get a beautiful woman’s attention?”

This gets under her collar then seeps into her bones, sending a shiver down her back. Weird. Weird.

“Well, I'm married.”

She’s still trying to process this – a man hitting on her – when he suddenly turns to face her and, oh.

“Since when has that ever stopped anybody, Elizabeth?”

Her mouth falls open – at his appearance, at the tattoo, at him knowing her name – but he doesn’t give her the chance to speak.

“Sit down.”

There’s no room for arguing in his tone, face stony in an instant, and she follows him to a table with her heart fluttering in her throat. There’s a cat-like fluidity to the way he walks and she takes this in analytically before sitting, back straight.

She folds her hands into her lap, trying to shake off the surprise.

“What gang are you affiliated with?”

“Shit, first you don't want me to buy you a drink now you wanna take down my pants?”

There’s something about him – the lewdness? His smirk? The way he takes her in with gleaming eyes? – that unnerves her, but she tells herself it’s still just the shock letting it all get to her.

“How did you find me?”

He sits back in his seat, folding his hands; almost mocking her own posture.

“You raided a warehouse of mine yesterday.”

God. She clears her throat.

“You want your money back?”

She’d caught the line of his gun beneath his jacket; is slowly trying to survey the café to figure out if he’s alone.

“Naw. See, you asked how I found you,” he points at her.

“So then what do you want?”

Now he leans onto the table, steepling his fingers.

“Your hubby, he ain’t a real stand-up guy, huh?” He makes as if to give her a chance to speak then barrels right ahead. “Fucked around on you then getting himself into debt with some real rough guys.”

Breathe, Beth. Breathe.

“What are you talking about?”

He seems amused – he knows more than her and he’s relishing it.

“He been real flush lately?”

And she wants to say no instantly, but – he’d suddenly paid for the house after they’d been struggling to make the payment. He’d said he’d sold a car, but…

“You’re trying to bribe me,” she says, voice tinny.

“Nah,” he scoffs, laughing like she’s told a joke. “I’m tryna keep the limbs on all your loved ones. Y’know, they’re called loan sharks for a reason.”

Her hands are no longer folded, wringing each other.

“H-how are you going to do that?”

He shrugs cavalierly. “You need money, I got lots of it. We could be friends, and I like helping out my friends.”

He watches her, waiting, but she doesn’t react; doesn’t respond. She’s frozen, too stunned by this influx of information; this situation.

Not only had Dean torn their family apart, he’d also put them in danger? And she’d left her children with him to take this assignment; to get away. And now her babies could end up being collateral in more ways than just that one.

“Your hubby’s in the hole for ten grand,” he informs her, leaning over the table a little. “So I’m thinkin… a cool thirty gees?”

She stares.

“You’re going to pay me thirty thousand dollars for doing nothing?”

“Naw, darlin; nothin’s for nothin.”

“So what do you want?”

“Colleague of yours, an agent… Donnegan?” She nods and he continues: “Had a drug bust a week ago. My intel says the pills are still in your evidence room – I got a third party who’s real interested.”

“You’re insane.”

He grins, delighted, as if this is a compliment.

She shakes her head. “I can’t just take evidence, that’s not how things work!”

He shrugs. “Bat your lashes, sign it out for another ‘investigation’ – whatever it takes. I’m sure you’ll think of somethin.”

Before she can say anything – say whether she’s going to do it – he jumps up, kicking his chair back as he juts a thumb outward.

“That’s my boy, Mick.”

She follows his finger to see a tattooed man standing outside.

“He’s gonna take care of you. Make sure you got the details for the drop; that you all set up for payment.”

And then, with a quick squeeze of her shoulder, he’s gone.

**

She nearly growls when Dean’s voice finally crackles across the line, greeting cheery. 

“Hi, you.”

“Tell me right now and don’t lie to me: did you get money from loan sharks to pay for the house?”

There’s silence for far too long, loaded.

“Bethie, I was going to tell you—”

“Oh my god,” she sucks in a breath. 

“But, see, I knew you’d react that way!”

“Because you put our lives in danger! Do you know what those people do to the families of people who don’t pay them?”

“I know this all seems really scary, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.”

He’s always done that. She’s been a cop for years and he still makes it sound like she’s a little girl who isn’t capable of anything.

Even Bethie – she’s started hating how he’s always babied her name.

“What’s not as bad as it sounds, Dean?” she humours him.

“These aren’t the guys you’re used to, these are good guys.”

“They’re loan sharks.”

“No! Well… yeah. But they were really worried about our situation and so understanding when I couldn’t pay last month—”

“Oh my god, we’re already behind?”

“Beth. Bethie. I’m going to take care of it, ok?”

“No.”

She looks up from the floor to the evidence locker.

“I am.”

**

[Beth does the drop, gets paid then is forced into having dinner with Rio, after which he drives her to where she’s staying and invites himself inside]

Rio walks around, inspecting the place as she stands frozen by the entrance-way table.

“You have guys around?”

“I told you I was married.”

He turns back to meet her eyes.

“And I told you I know he's a dirtbag.”

“And that gives me permission to sleep around?”

His lip quirks up a little.

“Kinda does, yeah.”

“Well, I’m not that kind of person.”

“And what kinda person is that?”

“Vows mean something to me.”

“Like the one to serve and protect your country?”

And this jerks down her back, just like he wanted it to. He’s smirking and she’s driven forward, seething.

“So this is what you do? You recruit people, pay them, come and scope out their homes for when you need to intimidate them later?”

She wants to take him down a notch, wants to figure out how to get under his skin too, but he doesn’t seem bothered by her tone.

“Naw, house calls ain’t usually my thing.”

“So then what are you still doing here?”

He’s looking at her strangely, shoulders jerking as he comes closer.

“If you wanna know what I’m doing here, Elizabeth, you gotta stop thinking like a cop and start thinking like—”

“A criminal?” she snickers. “Quantico already taught me that lesson, but thanks.”

He smiles, eyes gleaming.

“…A woman.”

And now the shiver down her back is different – but it’s half anger. Is this why he’s here; is that why her? Because he’d wanted to sleep with her?

“Why did you choose me?”

It’s maybe the first thing she’s said all night that seems to throw him.

“’Scuse me?”

“Mick told me that there were other options – better options – but you chose me.”

“He’s got some loose lips this week.”

She folds her arms.

“Why?”

He stares back at her, seemingly conflicted, then backs up to lean against the table.

She waits and it’s a long few seconds before he finally speaks.

“I was there the day of your bust. Was rollin by to check on shit, y’know. But then I saw what was goin on and pulled ’round to the west side of the building.” He hesitates, eyes on the floor. “Saw you.”

He says this like it’s supposed to explain exactly what he means, but she shakes her head in confusion.

“Ok…”

Now he looks up, though not quite at her.

“While you was havin your… personal moment.”

Oh, god.

Everything had suddenly hit her – what Dean had done, how much she’s missing her children and the girls – and she’d had to excuse herself for a few moments.  

But she tries not to cower; not to show how endlessly humiliated she is.

“So you chose me because you saw me cry on the job?” 

Rio blinks slowly, thoughtfully. He swallows.

And when he speaks, it’s soft; nearly inaudible.

“I chose you ’cuz it looked like you needed choosing.”

And she should breathe, should force air into her lungs, but instead -- instead she finds herself stepping closer. 

She doesn’t breathe, doesn’t think, as her legs brush against his.

His eyes are on her, warm and wanting ­– god, when last has anyone looked at her like this?

She’s frozen now, has gone as far as she can, and he straightens up. Then his hand is slipping past her hair to cup her face, angle it up to his. And he’s so warm and she shouldn’t be doing this, but she can’t think to stop; can’t remember why she should be running in the other direction.

When he kisses her, it’s soft. Softer than it should be; softer than he should be. It makes her gasp a little and then she’s pressing closer, kissing him back harder because it feels so right even though it’s all so wrong, wrong, wrong.

She whimpers as his tongue slips past her lips and then his hands are on her hips and before she knows it, he’s spinning them around, lifting her up onto the table, and by the time her legs are spread around his hips, she’s forgotten every vow she’s ever taken.

 **

Rio sips at the bottle of water.

From her pillow she watches the inked bird bob with his Adam’s apple. 

Then her eyes go to the tattoos at the back of his arms. Angry red scratches run down them, a reminder of her that he’ll take home tonight.  

“I like this place.”

Her eyebrow rises in surprise.

“You do?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “looks like a criminal hideout. Doesn't suit you.”

She doesn’t know if this is an insult or a compliment but follows his gaze to survey the huge industrial space.

“Well, it's nothing like my house, that's for sure.”

Sitting up in bed, she wraps her arms around her knees with a sad little breath.

“Every time I think about it, I like this place a little more.”

“That why you volunteer for it?” He looks amused by her visible surprise. “Might not know much about coppers, but I know nobody of your rank's stayin in a dump like this against their will.”

She stares at him for a moment, weighing up the cost of the truth, then looks away.

“I took it because I wanted to punish myself,” she admits quietly. “You know, no creature comforts.” 

Not while her children are without her; are robbed of their mother, who’d willingly taken herself away.

“But then I realised I feel more comfortable here than the home I left.”

He watches her for a moment too long before snickering in a way that comes out more forced than he probably intends.

“That's real damn sad.”

“Yeah.”

What more is there to say? Especially to him, of all people?

“I'm really tired.”

She moves the sheet higher up onto her chest in what she hopes he’ll take as a hint. There isn’t going to be a second round tonight, not like normal. Things had gotten too personal and that’s not what this is. Although she still has no idea what it is. 

He sniffs in some kind of amusement.

“That a lifelong habit?”

“What habit?” she asks sharply, looking back at him.

He’s up, beginning to dress.

“Only openin up to people you know ain't stayin; who you can push away.”

She stares back, surprised. Offended.

“That's not what I'm doing.”

“Ain't it?” He stands from putting on his shoes to regard her. “Ain't that why you kissed me back to begin with?”

“No.”

He smiles a little.

“You should be a better liar, Special Agent Boland.” He pulls on his t-shirt then shrugs, grabbing his jacket. “But it's cool.”

He’s ready to leave, expression filled with his signature brand of guarded amusement. 

“...Takes one to know one.”

[oldfritz]

this was surprisingly hard because half of them I wanted to throw in f, but then felt guilty about it so here’s where we are. explanations under the cut to be nice (fair warning: I’m writing this while tipsy so this is a journey)

S-tier

Old Fritz: look me in the eyes. look at me. are you looking? good. where else was I was going to put him? where? in C with the other losers? foolish. I am ruining my life for this man, I’m going to go into debt so I can be moderately qualified to write books on him so Tim Blanning and Christopher Clark don’t boo my off the stage. I sit here sometimes and I’m like ‘y’know, I would start a podcast to talk about his life’ as if I’m some straight white guy who thinks any of you want to listen to me for an hour. he’s a bastard, a smug bastard, and is the epitome of self-destructive tendencies. and, honestly, I wouldn’t mind if he wasn’t so fucking misogynistic all the time. ‘oh women aren’t fit to rule’ shut up Fritz before I time travel to fuck your wife and make her have one night where life feels worthwhile. but he’s funny, I enjoy how he does foreign policy, and he’s unfortunately relatable to me. cheers, Fritz. here’s to never being satisfied from one gay disaster with anger issues to another. may we burn in hell together

A-tier

Friedrich iii: “Suzanne, he was only on the throne for 99 days!! how can he be this high up when some of these bastards refused to die?” I hear you, my friends, and I have answers. I’ll tell you two words you’ll be shocked to hear put together: liberal Hohenzollern. a rare breed, isn’t it? imagine, friends, a world where he got over his throat cancer because he listened to a doctor and we get through the 1910s, 20s, even the 30s without Wilhelm II Electric Boogaloo being in power. Prussia is still on the map, the Anglo-Prussian alliance is strong, and I live in peace. but no. this stupid man had to keep smoking. because he’s selfish and doesn’t care about my needs. you know, he actually loved his wife. rare in this family. loved her and wasn’t abusive. the bar is so low, guys. and his wife is amazing too, Victoria. the world would’ve been in competent hands if they’d been in power longer (and Bismarck would’ve been out of a job still but at least these guys are smart. their son inherited grandma Vicki’s IQ). I would sleep with both of them and would thank them for the honor (when it should always be the other way around, remember that)

B-tier

Friedrich I: if your name is Friedrich and only Friedrich, we’re buds. that’s my rule. I have to give him credit where credit’s due. he was the first. while I agree with Fritz in his proscription that he was ‘small in big ways and big in small ways’ (I may have flipped that around), he wasn’t a bad guy. he just was born into the wrong job for him. I appreciate that he rode on his father’s coattails of proving useful to the Habsburgs and did a little himself to get that sweet, sweet kingship. smart move. I also like that he saw Louis XIV and said to himself “I stan, I kin, on God we’re gonna do that’ and tried. only for have his stupid, ungrateful, unclassy son to do away with that. I, too, am a woman of luxury and self-indulgance and if I had all the riches of Brandenburg and Prussia at the time (not much), I would spend them ridiculously on outfits and music and art. now, what did he do as king? what policy legacy did he leave behind? that’s a good one :)

C-tier

Friedrich Wilhelm III: now as a king he sucks. and I stand by this because, you know, he lost to him *imagine me pretending to be short and saying ‘oui, oui’ in a bad french accent*. and as any proper Englishwoman I can’t support a monarch who goes around losing to the French unless their name is Mary I. but, he’s a pathetic little man. he really is. so indecisive, so unsure of himself. what are you doing little guy? you think because your last name is Hohenzollern, God thinks you’re a good king? well it is like 1805 and, while divine right isn’t really being used as much, it’s as good as any reason on why you’re the chosen one and my family is eating dirt in Sicily and on the Scottish border. he’s really just a dude, nothing extraordinary about him except that his wife was the only one with brains and was the first to establish that (sorry Wilhelm I). he cried when he found out that his children didn’t call him ‘papa’ and went into a deep depressive state when his wife suddenly died. he’s an average man, of average abilities, but of big heart. and the big heart is what bumps him up, for me, from his old place as an F to a C. though, his moralizing is tedious

Friedrich Wilhelm II: this man should have partied with Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. everyone’s got that one ruler whose all about sex, drugs, and rock ‘n roll. for the US it’s JFK, for the UK it’s Margaret Thatcher Charles II, France has Louis XIV. Prussia has this guy and we should thank him. so many mistresses, so much sex, so much revelry and debauchery and sin! this guy’s personal life is like a treasure trove of political and sexual intrigue. if you’re into that - as I am as a town gossip - you’ll love him. I am constantly amazed by the fact that some STD didn’t kill him. syphilis, herpes, crabs. something, man, anything. but he didn’t. he’s a shit king though. absolutely horrible. all he did was whine that he didn’t get taught anything by Uncle Fritz and, yes, that’s not good if it’s true (but it’s not completely because the treatises are detailed but I guess he didn’t have time to read) but c’mon. actually apply yourself and learn on the job. I know that would’ve required him to not be balls deep somewhere, but unfortunately he’s not Dorian Gray. there’s work that needed to be done and he didn’t do it. boo!!

D-tier

Wilhelm I: apparently he was a good guy, unlike the other 3 who populate the lowest rungs of Prussian kinghood. so I give him that and I can respect that. but what did he do? what were his own ideas? I thought about putting Bismarck as king instead because, really, he was. Bismarck was a minister who ran around the king’s back to set things up exactly as he liked and it fucking worked because he was the brains. his wife was intelligent too, but theirs wasn’t a wamr and loving marriage. and Bismarck worked to get Wilhelm to distrust her because she was liberal and the fact that Wilhelm would listen to Otto even if it meant allowing himself to be drowned in the Rhine is pathetic. fun party at Versailles though. hope it was worth the war reparations

F-tier (bastard time) I’m going in a different order because I want to go from the ones I hate least to most xoxo

Friedrich Wilhelm IV: “I won’t accept a crown from the gutter” then you won’t accept a crown at all, stupid idiot! god, the smugness. the authoritarian impulses. I know it was the cool thing in 1848 to put down any revolts/protests with as much force as possible, but man, at least the Habsburgs were transparent. homie was like “yeah guys lol I’ll make a constitution and it’ll be epic! you’ll have so many rights! xoxo gossip girl” and then...nope. and AND he wanted the Habsburgs in charge of things too! Mr. ‘I’m Nostalgic For When HRE Was Great And We Blew Austrian Dick!’ grow up man. it’s Prussia time buddy, Austria is beginning to fall apart. don’t look to the past, look to the future, but you didn’t have that vision did you?

Wilhelm II: *banging pots and pans* I blame this man for everything! now, intellectually, does Germany take all the blame for WWI? no, that’s foolish and propaganda of the Allies only. if you’re a European power in 1914, you get to share the blame (ex: why did UK need to make this a naval arms race? Austria should’ve declared war on Serbia sooner if that’s what it wished to do. Russia, please stay out of the Balkans then and forever). but does my irrational hatred of Wilhelm blind me to this truth when I see his stupid face and that ugly fucking mustache that I wish to yank off? my god, yes. I see him and Rule Britannia and The Yanks Are Coming start playing so loud in my head and I’m like ‘yeah, the kaiser’s gonna pay.’ I’m sorry that Bismarck’s ego was bigger than yours but did you have to prove him right by getting incompetent buffoons who were playing checkers when he set the board up for chess to replace him? Did you have to prove Freud right by displacing private problems onto public life with your little tit-for-tat with George IV (VI?) because his mummy loved you more? Why did you need to fuck every naval vessel you saw like an inferior of Peter the Great who believed he was Sir Francis Drake? but that’s just the first war and he lived to see things setting up for the second. wasn’t in convenient for you to be close with the N@zis when you thought they might want a king back on the throne and you could reclaim your little tyrant. like every goddamn Prussian conservative or Junker, you thought you could play the tyrannical cockroach. sure, you figured out earlier that he was no pal, but you still collaborated and you still allowed yourself to get played like the weak man of conscience you are. cheers!

Friedrich Wilhelm I: ladies and gentleman, the moment you’ve all been waiting for! the biggest bastard straight outta Berlin, FW1! and who doesn’t love an abusive father? who doesn’t love a man, so insecure and pathetic, that he needs to terrorize children to be able to look at himself and have a little pride. I understand that it was because he wanted his kids, specifically Fritz, to be best. but being best and perfect meant being miniature versions of him and aren’t we supposed to want our children to be better than a carbon-copy of a small man? honestly, I could live with the occasional smack for this time period. it’s within the norm and, while horrible, isn’t irreparably damaging. this guy really had to beat the shit out of Fritz and Wilhelmina and I’m sure Augustus and Henry and Amalia and all the others (so many kids) didn’t get spared either because if you hit one, you’ll hit ‘em all. and I judge them for their flaws all the same but, for some of them, it gets hard to. because what fighting chance did they have when their father was telling them how worthless they were and beating them senseless and threatening death and life imprisonment on some? I’m constantly impressed by Henry and Fritz and Wilhelmina for amounting to any semblance of maturity, even though it’s always fleeting, because this man didn’t give them the tools to be functioning adults. but each of them managed to be greater than their father, as did Amalia managing a really cool coup in Sweden. and what did FW1 get? he built up his army, had a tall guy fetish, increased the treasury, and made the cabinet and executive offices more efficient. there used to be this one guy on here that would argue that that was all a good king made and that this lowlife didn’t deserve the contempt he got by some on here (an obvious vague of me) for his behavior as a father. and maybe I’m a crackpot, but I believe the quality of a man outshines all those other achievements and that that’s meaningless to me, in my personal life. and when I get to hell, before I go to any of these other men, I’ll go to him and ask him how hell’s fires feel because, if his God was real, it would never love him. and that’s beautiful

[mickmarstookmyheart]

"Would you be my date?"

Pairing: Mick Mars X Reader

Summary: You are working for the Crüe as a make up artist. There is an upcoming wedding...

"Hold still, damnit!" You murmured trying to finish Vince's makeup just before the concert.

"Oh, come on, (Y/N)! Hurry up!" He pouted closing his eyes to let you do your job.

"If I hurry you won't be pretty."

"There is no such thing as me not being pretty."

"Sure." You said drawing back and looking at him, admiring the make-up you did. Though you didn't understand why you had to make Vinnie look like a girl and put on him pink colors. He stood up and looked in the mirror to see himself.

"Cool. Thanks (Y/N)!" He yelled while leaving the area. Working with them consumed most of your time, but it didn't bother. Even if they were sometimes pain in the ass they were all kind and funny. They treated you well, they never hurt you. You have been working for them since the 'Bark at the moon' tour with Ozzy.

"Break legs!" You yelled back looking at the mess on the table. Makeup everywhere including on your hand and shirt. Since you were ready with all of them you decided to change clothes. You quickly took off your shirt to change it to a cleaner one.

Mick was walking in the hallway already in his costume. He wanted to ask you to adjust his makeup due to the clothing had ruined it a bit. He opened the door and gasped seeing you there without a shirt. When you heard the door cracking you gasped. You looked at him with a red face covering yourself with your tee.

"Omg, I'm so sorry." He blushed and quickly closed the door back, standing in the corridor with his back facing the door. He covered his mouth with a hand. You were embarrassed, standing in the room now with your shirt on. You and Mick were kinda okay, you hardly had any fights. The others were always flirting with you even though you had a crush on Mick. And he, seeing you like this just made your heart pound fast. Mick was about to leave when you opened the door for him.

"Look, (Y/N), I didn't know. I'm sorry. I didn't see a lot, I promise." Mick said wishing he could see more.

"No problem, I should've locked the door. What's up? Is there a problem?" You asked putting your hands in your pocket to hide your still shaking hands.

"Umm, I think my costume ruined my face a bit. Can you fix it, please?" You nodded and invited him in. He sat down so you could see the damage.

"A minute and you will be ready to kick some ass." You said while taking the brush in your hand. You managed to relax but being this close to him. You could feel his breath and smell his scent. Mick also had some problems...Your light touch on his face and everything about you. "Done." You announced and put the brush back to its place. Mick leaned closer to the mirror to see your perfect work.

"Now it's perfect. Thanks. And sorry about earlier." He rubbed the back of his head.

"Chill. Nothing happened." You said it rather to yourself. "Anyway, here is your shirt." He picked it up from the floor you dropped it earlier. He tossed it to you and you caught it easily.

Nikki, Vince, and Tommy were standing in the corner and were leaning on the door to hear what you were doing in there.

"Shirt, huh?" Vince grinned. "I told you something was up between them."

"Are you sure, Vinnie? We just only heard the word shirt. It could mean anything."

"I hope they are together. They would look cute." Tommy said smiling. Vince turned to him raising one of his eyebrows.

"They don't look cute. And I can't believe she chose Mick over me. She can be with me or anyone else, but not that old man." Vince put his head closer to the door when Mick opened the door and they all fell on Mick and you.

"What the fuck, man?" You cursed rubbing your head. Mick was laying on the top of you and the boys on your leg.

"Nice sock!" Vince said earning a kick in his arm from you.

"Get off me! And what were you all doing?" You asked still under the weight of the guitarist. He supported himself on his elbows not to press you any more. He was facing you. You cleared your throat and he rolled over. You stood up and crossed your arms.

"We were...we were just..." Nikki said looking at Tommy to help him out.

"We made sure that all the doors were soundproof so we can also fuck groupies back here after the concert," Vince said being proud of himself.

"Yeah, of course. Sounds believable." You hummed.

"There you are. Guys, it's time to go!" Doc yelled pointing at his watch. After the band and Doc left the room except for Mick, you sighed and sat down in the chair.

"(Y/N), I would like to apologize.." Mick started.

"Hey, it's not your fault." You said rubbing your wrist. It hurt a little bit is was nothing you couldn't handle.

"Did you hit your arm?" Mick noticed. He knew how it was being in pain.

"A bit. But I'm okay. Don't worry." You winked.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Mick asked finally gathering the courage after months. You blinked from the sudden question.

"What?" You asked maybe you didn't hear it properly.

"Do you want to have coffee tomorrow? I would like to make up the things that happened today."

"Yeah, sure. I mean, why not?" You mumbled still not believing Mick just asked a date from you. Well, it was a date, no?

"Great. See you tomorrow then." He headed towards the door before giving you a half-smile.

"I think I will stay until the concert goes down. So go and have fun." You smirked and followed him.

Next day

"Can I have a week off, Boss?" You asked Doc sitting in his temporary office. You showed him your wrist which was swollen and was covered with a bandage.

"That looks bad. But don't worry, Anna can do it for you."

"Thanks."

"And what happened?" He asked reading his papers.

"Well, it would be complicated to explain but in a nutshell, I fell on my wrist."

"Complicated to explain?" He glanced at you with a confused look.

"Mick fell on me." Doc's eyes widened. "No, it's not that. The boys fell on Mick and then on me."

"What?" He was in complete shock.

"Don't think any wrong. The boys were eavesdropping us but then Mick opened the door."

"Whatever." You could see that he didn't believe you. "Anything else?"

"I think I should go. And thanks, Doc!" You said before exiting the room. You felt embarrassed, but nothing wrong happened. The whole situation was odd.

∆

"Nice job, idiots. You managed to ruin (Y/N)'s job." Mick snapped after seeing your hand.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N). It wasn't our intention." Tommy apologized.

"It's okay. Doc said that Anna will hop in until I recover so I didn't lose my job, I just got a week off." You said.

"Well, I'm glad you can rest a bit." Mick stated. Vince was narrowing his eye and was looking at you and Mick.

"Is everything alright, Vinnie?" You asked.

"No."

"Care to explain?"

"Nope." Your brows drew together. Then he left huffing. What the fuck was with him?

"Anyway, guys I have good news." Tommy cheered. "I proposed to Heather."

"Tommy, that's great. Congrats" You said hugging him.

"She is a great girl, T-Bone! Congratulations!" Nikki said patting the drummer's back.

"Thanks, guys. I still couldn't believe she said yes. Anyway, Sixx, you are my best man and you are all invited!" He yelled.

"What do you mean by all?" You asked.

"Why?" He asked confused.

"You mean that I'm invited, too?"

"Of course, you will do Heather's make up." You pouted. "Just kidding. It's not even a question, (Y/N)! Don't be stupid." He said giving you a big hug.

"Thanks, Tommy." You smiled. You didn't think he would invite you as well. You were just a makeup artist working for the band, after all. Not some musician or family.

∆

You and Mick were sitting in a lovely café near the hotel. There was hardly anyone there so it was pretty quiet.

"Jimmy Hendrix or Angus Young?"

"Jimmy Hendrix. Not even a question." Mick said taking a sip from his coffee.

"But you have to admit Angus's riffs are pretty good, too."

"I didn't say that he isn't good."

"So how this guitar thing come to your life?" You asked wrapping your healthy hand around the hot cup.

"Well, when I was a child I got a guitar from Christmas with Mickey Mouse on it. Since then I couldn't separate myself from it. The guitar became an important part of me and vice versa."

"So that's were 'Mick' comes from?" You asked chuckling. He rolled his eyes but then his lips curved into a smile.

"Partly, yes. But don't tell those assholes. They would call me that from now on."

"Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me." You were looking at each other's eyes for a moment. Mick cleared his throat and you could see he was about to say something.

"Nice weather, right?" He asked. That's not the question you were thinking of.

"I like the rain." You said looking out of the window and watching all the drops running down the window. It was calming to be there, to drink coffee and have a nice talk with him. When you put down the cup you put your hand on your bandaged wrist.

"Does your wrist hurt?"

"No. And I have already told you not to worry about it." You sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be harsh like that.

"Can I ask something?" Mick felt his heart racing, he tried his best to calm down. You nodded and glanced at him waiting for the question. "Would you be my date? For Tommy's wedding." He bit his lip down.

"What? I mean, don't you have a girlfriend to bring?" Your heart skipped a beat. You didn't know much about his personal life but you were sure he had someone. After all, it was just an apologizing talk, not a real date.

"Not really." He smirked and looked out of the window. You gulped, you were in shock, not believing he didn't have a girlfriend.

"Why me?" You whispered.

"Cause you are great. You are super talented, kind, and funny. You are always so insecure about yourself but you are amazing." Mick said holding your hand in his.

"Really?" You sniffed. In your whole life, in school and even at home you were told that you are nothing and you are worthless. You knew it wasn't completely true, but it still affected your life. 

"See? That's what I'm talking about. Be confident because you have every right." He smiled squeezing your hand.

"Then, I would be glad to go with you." You said shyly.

Tag: @leatherandheels

This wasn't what I originally planned and I think it sucks but here it is. Also, sorry guys for not doing anything lately, I just had an almost week-long headache and I stayed away from my phone for a bit.

By the way, I'm gonna take request from next week so hit me with your requests, desires!

Be safe, be happy!

[oforamuse]

told you that i missed you

'you and mickey are getting married!?'

or, the one where fiona had to find about ian's engagement through lip.

a missing phone call set somewhere between 10x11 and 10x12

ao3

Ian’s mid-limp towards the fridge when his phone rings in his pocket, and without bothering to check the caller ID, Mickey said he’d call him later when he’d left earlier, he answers and brings the device up to his ear.

‘You and Mickey are getting married!? ’

Ah fuck.  

He should’ve expected this.

‘Hey Fiona…’ Ian trails off, knowing where this conversation is most likely headed. He makes a mental checklist to prepare himself for the showdown that’s about to take place with his older sister, she’s never taken to being left out of things very lightly - which in her defense, didn’t happen very often given her being the head of the household for all of his life.

‘Don’t hey Fiona me, Ian Gallagher’ She practically spits out, dragging the emphasis on their second name with a clear underlying message of are you fucking kidding me, ‘Were you planning on telling me this anytime soon or was I supposed to find out you two were husbands at Thanksgiving or some shit?’

He pictures her fondly, hand on hip and the other one waving about, failing wildly to get her frustrated point across. It’s an image he saw so often throughout his childhood it’s almost comforting, warming.  

‘You planning on being home for Thanksgiving?’ Ian chimes back, hoping to buy himself some time to gather his thoughts, though he immediately knows she won’t take the bait as soon it falls out of his mouth.

‘Don’t change the subject, Ian’ It’s the same tone of voice she used throughout their childhood, the go brush your teeth it’s gone midnight or carl put that hammer down right now before you hurt someone, and for a moment he feels 12 years old and scolded.

The words hang there and he can feel her glare down the phone, like a laser beam marking his pale skin, it’s always felt that way. The classic 100% Fiona Gallagher certified ‘I’m unimpressed’ look, a look he’s definitely been on the receiving end of far too many times to count growing up.

‘I was- listen, it’s been a little crazy here recently, I was going to tell you. It just...slipped my mind I guess’ Ian defends himself quickly, juggling the phone between his ear and shoulder as he attempts to clear the kitchen table from this morning’s wedding planning session with Mick and Sandy. They left after a long conversation about the perfect table cloths, table cloths, to go to the tux shop downtown. He didn’t know there were so many different kinds of things to be thrown, music to be played, or chairs to choose from. It’s been overwhelming to say the least, and deep down still pretty scary, there’s a small nagging part of him worried that this might be a mistake but it’s rightfully overruled by the much bigger and louder part of him saying it will be worth it. Seeing Mickey happy, being happy himself, knowing they can finally just be happy together, will be worth it. Worth any amount of meetings over chairs, or flowers or whatever, he doesn’t really understand it, but he’ll do it.

It isn’t the marriage part, really, that freaks him out - he doesn’t think so at least. He knows he wants to marry Mickey, he knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. That’s never been the question, even when they were countries apart or failing to see other people, it was always there in the back of his mind for his future, the ideal. He’s nervous to take that final big leap, to solidify their relationship in front of the world and the law, like actual adults do. He’s seen so many marriages go wrong and it aches to think that they could end up like a statistic, after everything they’ve been through, they could end up just being part of a percentage of divorcees.

But, also, after everything they’ve been through, they may just be strong enough to beat the odds. He doesn’t really know the statistics for gay marriages anyway, specifically for guys, he assumes they must be slightly better, happier or some shit.

If they can make it through homophobic murderous dads, prison sentences and annoying twinks, they can make it through this.

His mind falls back to Fiona on the other end, her constant stream of failed relationships, marriages and almost marriages that littered his adolescent years. A lump forms heavily in his throat and he tries to swallow it back down, he never thought he’d be the first Gallagher kid to get properly hitched, and hitched successfully, because Fiona and Gus do not count.

‘Really Fiona, it’s been crazy here’ He tries again,

He’s not making some dumb excuse, with the last month of being broken up (but so not broken up) then going to engaged to wedding planning all within a few days, calling his older sister wasn’t top of his list.

Perhaps it should’ve been, he thinks, and Ian can’t help it but his stomach rocks with a wave of guilt, crashing onto his mental beach. It sits there, sickeningly. Fiona used to know everything, be part of everything that was happening with the family, now she’s hundreds of miles away and worlds apart.

He knows it was a big deal for Fiona to move away from Chicago, away from them and everything she’s ever known, but that was her choice, he reasons, her choice to be a phone call away rather than just a bedroom. He doesn’t blame her though.

‘So I had to find out from Lip? And only, might I add, because he mentioned how you and Mickey were looking at flowers downtown so obviously I asked him why on earth you would need ‘em and turns out you guys are getting fucking hitched!’

He dumps their coffee mugs in the sink and watches the brown liquid swirl away before he resigns and moves his phone up to his ear.

‘I know I should’ve told you.’ He whispers, turning to lean against the counter top, wishing he didn’t feel so weird about talking about marriage with his older sister, ‘I just, I-I didn’t know how. It’s a really fucking long story, Fiona, and you’re not here…’

The guilt comes rushing back, like a wave crashing onto Ian’s shore. He grips the phone tightly.

Fiona sighs down the phone, and she goes silent, he pictures her running her hands through her hair like she often does when she’s exasperated or worried. His chest warms at the thought, he misses her, he really does.

There’s another beat.

‘I guess I should say congratulations?’ She says breaking the silence, almost posing it as a question. He can hear the hint of humour in her voice, playing it off as both a joke and a genuinely sincere statement.

‘Thanks’ Ian laughs lightly, quietly feeling relieved that she isn’t more upset.

The wave of guilt pulls back into the ocean.

His eyes flicker over to the fridge door opposite, where there’s still an old post-it note of Fiona’s reading ‘Liam. Dentist 12:20’ stuck above the handle. Her presence is everywhere in the house, it’s in the foundations, the walls and the floorboards. It’s her house more so than anyone else’s, a hell of a lot more than it ever was Frank’s, or Monica’s for that matter. Still, it stings to know that she isn’t here, physically.

That she wasn’t here when he got out.

‘How did it happen?’ She asks, her habit for gossip overriding her need to hang onto the sentimentalities.

‘How did what happen?’

‘You know, the engagement, who asked who and all that crap. Not sure how it works when it’s just two guys.’ She snorts, and Ian rolls his eyes fondly, taking comfort in knowing it was meant harmlessly.

‘Pretty much the same way as everything goes with Mick, fighting and making up. Except this time with added engagement’ The bad joke hangs for a moment before he hears Fiona bark out a laugh down the other end, he breathes out, relieved.

He knows his and Mickey’s relationship can be volatile, especially physically. They’re tough, their hearts are tough. How can they not be when they’ve grown up in this shithole, surrounded by violence and poverty all their lives, only to top it off with a light dusting of homophobic and or, alcoholic, parents. They’re a product of their environment, that’s for sure, and it works for them.

‘Not that I’m surprised or nothing, but you guys really got into a fight and then engaged? Sounds like you two’

He winces knowing that Fiona hasn’t always had the best opinion of Mickey or their relationship, but he can’t really blame her given that he kept her out of the most of it in the past. It’s always been easier keeping her, and Lip to be frank, at arm’s length when it comes to Mickey, especially in the last few years. Especially after almost dropping everything and running off with him to Mexico. He was close, he was so close.

He’s quietly hoping the distance between his two worlds will finally change once they officially become family.

‘Nah, I beat down Mick’s date and then, I asked him to marry me.’ He smirks at the memory, sure it was childish to have gone after Byron the way he did but the guy had been pissing Ian the fuck off and he was so fucking bored of playing games with Mick. Plus, no one gets to talk shit about his guy.

‘Mickey’s date?’ She asks, her voice distorted with confusion and rightfully so. She’s missed a lot in the last few weeks, heck, Ian’s been having trouble keeping up with it all and he’s here. He can’t even remember the last time he spoke to Fiona longer than a few minutes except down the tinny prison phone - they must’ve talked when he got out of prison, right?

It dawns on him quickly that he doesn’t think they’ve had a proper conversation since he got out of prison, weeks ago. It sits in his stomach, distastefully. That’s the longest they’ve gone without proper communication since he ran away when he was 16.

‘It’s a long story Fiona’ He sighs, throwing a glance over to the stairs, wishing she’d walk down them this moment, ruffle his hair like she used to then crack open a beer with him.

‘When’s the ceremony?’

‘We’re thinking the next few weeks maybe, Mickey’s really getting into the wedding planning.’

‘Mickey Milkovich is enjoying planning a wedding? That I would like to see!’ She laughs, ‘but jeeze, a few weeks? That’s pretty soon, why rush?’

‘Terry Milkovich paid us a visit cause he’s mad as shit. Shoutin’ the street down and pulling out his gun. It upset Mick so he’s taken to use the wedding as a chance to torture him, I guess he’s hoping he drops dead from his gay son being happy or some shit.’ Ian explains, his hands gesturing in ways that Fiona can’t obviously see. God, Ian should’ve killed the bastard back when they were kids because they deserve a break. Realistically, he knows he couldn’t do it, but fuck, he wishes Terry had gotten stabbed or something in prison the first few times round, it would’ve saved everyone a lot of grief. Himself included.

‘No chance i’ll be able to make it then, I guess…’ Fiona says sadly, though Ian can tell there’s a small attempt to hide the tinge in her voice. She sniffles and the guilt threatens to crash back.

‘I guess not’

Ian thumbs at his engagement ring whilst the two of them hang onto the silence, unsure of where to move forward from here.

‘You happy?’

‘Yeah, yeah I am’ Ian affirms, and he is, he’s really fucking happy. He didn’t think he’d ever get to have this, especially not with Mickey.

‘You gonna be Mr Milkovich?’

‘Fuck off’

‘You guys talked about it?’ She asks, and he can tell this one is a genuine question, whether or not Ian is going to shed the Gallagher name once and for all.

‘Nah, I figured we’ll get round to it after the gold chiavari chairs or something’

‘The gold what?’

‘Don’t ask’ he begs, he’s heard enough about chairs and all that for a lifetime.

‘I’m happy for you’ She says after a few moments, and his heart warms. He imagines her throwing her arms around his shoulders and bringing him in for a tight hug, locked and safe.

‘I wish you could come.’ He whispers, his eyes stinging, his thumb rubbing at his band. He does, he really wishes his big sister could be there to see him and Mickey beat all the odds.

‘I know’ Her voice cracks ever so slightly and Ian aches at the thought of being the one who caused it, ‘I’m sorry I’m not gonna be there’.

‘Not your fault’ Ian sighs, and it isn’t. She needed to get out.

‘Yeah’ She sniffs and Ian has to bring his free hand up to wipe his damp eyes, ‘I want pictures’

‘I’ll have Debs send you some’ Ian says wetly, he’s pretty certain Mickey has even organised a photographer. There’s some rustling on the other end and he can hear someone call out Fiona’s name in the background, it’s muffled but distinct.

‘Ah shit, I’ve got to go.’ She groans, and Ian figures it’s probably for the best. Someone’s bound to be home soon and he knows there will be a lot of questions if he’s found all teary eyed in the kitchen.

‘Okay’ It’s all he can manage.

‘I love you, and I’m happy for you.’ She says, ‘Tell Mickey I’m happy for him too’

‘I will.’ He replies, ‘I love you’

There’s a shuffle, then the line clicks and goes dead.

He hangs against the counter, cradling the phone in both hands, cradling the connection with his sister. He realises she didn’t even ask him anything about prison, or the fact Mickey’s out too. He wonders how much his other siblings talk to her, does Lip keep up with her regularly? It’s hard to imagine with him having to balance everything with Fred.

His phone chimes, he glances down.

3:39pm: MICKEY

‘picked out the tuxes. gonna look so fuckin good.’

God, if fifteen year old Ian Gallagher could see him now. He shoots off a reply.

3:40pm:

‘can’t wait’

And he can’t.