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[queenie-ofthe-void]

A Desperate Fool - Part 12

Part 11

Last Time: Steve's struggling with Eddie being back in town, and Dustin just tries his best to help

~~~

Eddie’s been in Chicago for almost three months and Jeff’s only called once. They’d chatted for a few minutes before Eddie spilled all the beans about Steve. Jeff wasn’t all that surprised, which surprised Eddie in return, and when he told Jeff as much, his friend laughed. “It was only a matter of time, Eddie.” And he’d said it with such grace that Eddie felt the anxiety slough from his shoulders. Either with or without him, the band would be fine. 

Now, Eddie’s learned to savor the casual routine he and Dustin have established over the past month. It’s been nice, relaxing– normal.

While Dustin spends his days working from his home office upstairs, Eddie cooks, cleans, and avoids calls from his manager. Somedays Nancy and Jonathan invite him over for dinner. He’s also started meandering the neighborhood, discovering all the reasons Dustin picked here to settle down. Around the corner is a small game store which hosts DnD nights on Wednesdays and Magic the Gathering tournaments on Saturdays. It’s next door to a record shop and a small cafe that serves the best cranberry orange muffins Eddie’s ever tasted.

He’s starting to gain some of the weight back he lost, so the small amount of clothes he brought with him are starting to dig in. Dustin says it’s thanks to the home cooked meals and down time, now that he’s not partying every night. Cooking is another part of everyday living Eddie’s come to love. Steve had done all the cooking before, not just because Eddie didn’t know how, but because Steve genuinely enjoyed it. He doesn’t think his skills will ever be that good, but that doesn’t matter much. Eddie’s already halfway through a cookbook and hasn’t felt this proud of himself since he learned how to play.

It’s well into April when Dustin suggests renovating the downstairs guest bedroom into a temporary recording studio. Eddie considers it for a grand total of three hours before he calls his manager– much to their relief– to have his guitars and equipment shipped from LA on the promise of starting a new solo album. By the time it arrived, the room’s sound proofed with mounted wall hooks for each of his sweethearts. He’s also furnished it with a few plush couches and a black leather barstool beneath the hanging microphone.

This is where Eddie sits now, headphones pulled up and plugged in, his old-school acoustic swung across his back as he leans over a notebook scribbling out the lyrics falling muffled from his lips. He hums the melody, repeating the last verse to himself when there’s a soft poke on his shoulder. Startled, Eddie shouts and barely manages to catch his guitar before he tumbles off the barstool on top of it. Loose sheets scatter across the floor as he fumbles the notebook. He gathers as much as he can, but when he stands, he finds Dustin scanning some before he can snatch them away.

“Those are private, dude,” Eddie exclaims, shoving them unceremoniously into his pocket. Hopefully later he’ll be able to make out the writing through the wrinkles. 

“Yeah, seems like it,” Dustin replies. He avoids eye contact, shuffling back and forth, and picks at his fingernails. “So, are those–”

“New songs.”

“–breakup songs?”

Eddie sighs, rubs his hands down his face. Dustin’s eyes are on him when Eddie moves his hands away. He feels seen, overly scrutinized, much in the same way Max and Nancy first looked at him. Dustin’s the only kid who’ll talk to him, but Eddie’s been living here for two months now and on some level, it feels like they haven’t talked about anything. Stuff like what’s for dinner, shopping lists, TV shows, video games. Things that don’t really matter.

The studio’s suddenly claustrophobic, but as Eddie moves towards the door, a half-hearted bullshit reason to leave stuck in his throat, Dustin steps in front of him.

“You know Steve’s happy, right?”

Ok so they’re talking about it. Eddie’s been anticipating this since the phone call, but is still unprepared for the solid earnestness scrawled across Dustin’s face.

“Yeah, Nancy told me everything. About all of it.” Eddie crosses his arms, can’t help hunching in on himself. Big, loud, and obnoxious never worked around Dustin, who could match him step-for-step. And after his initial conversation with Nancy, all Eddie wants to do is hide– preferably here in Dustin’s basement. “She takes care of him, she’s practically obsessed with him, wants kids– the whole package.”

Bitterness coats his tongue, and Dustin doesn’t miss his seething tone. 

“She likes sports too,” Dustin adds, defensive. The kid’s always stood up to bullies to protect the people he loves. He used to do that for Eddie. Now Eddie’s alone on the opposite side of a chasm, wondering why he never considered what kind of relationship Dustin could have with Becky. 

“Nancy mentioned something about sports journalism.”

“Becky gets press tickets and front row seats. They go to Blackhawks and Cubs games all the time.” Tone rising, Dustin’s cheeks are flushed, hands clenched at his sides.

“That’s–” Eddie starts, but is interrupted.

“Has he called you?” Dustin shouts at him.

Eddie freezes, body coiled tight and ready to run, but also horribly, devastatingly confused.

“What?” Cold sweats break out down his spine, his hands tingle with tiny pinpricks. “Dustin, I don’t–” he wheezes, swallowing around the dryness in his mouth. “No, we haven’t talked at all.”

“Good. Right, yeah– that’s good.” Even though Dustin’s impeding stance doesn’t change, his tone is laced with uncertainty. 

“I swear,” Eddie pleads.

“I believe you,” Dustin heaves a great, heavy sigh, his body slumps. “Just– please don’t answer if he calls. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Eddie can’t help the snap of irritation. “Why?”

“Uhh,” Dustin’s voice drags out, dripping with defensive sarcasm that has Eddie deflating, “maybe because he’s planning a wedding with his new fiance and his ex showed back up out of fucking no where.”

“I know. Fuck, I know. I’m sorry.” Regret and shame crawl under his skin.

“You keep saying that, but it still doesn’t feel true.” 

His eyes are hot, the panic of confrontation bubbles up through his grief. “I want it to be true, Dustin, I’m trying to make it true. I know nothing I do will ever make up for what I’ve put you all through, but– fuck.” Eddie wipes at his misted eyes. “I’d give up everything if I had to. Everything I have, all the money and clothes, the parties and the awards. I’d grovel and I’d–”

He doubles over on a long exhale that lurches from his chest unrestrained. Eddie grounds himself by counting the checkered pattern on Dustin’s socks until his breathing evens out. 

“I’d give up Steve.” He almost vomits as the words leave his mouth, and at that moment he can’t tell if it’s the truth or not. “I just want my family again, Dustin– you and Nancy and Mike. I don’t want to be alone anymore. And if he’s truly happy with her, I don’t want to hurt him. He deserves to be happy, even if that means I never see him again.”

He stands up and sees Dustin’s crying now, soaking the tears into the sleeves of his sweatshirt. Years or minutes or days pass as he waits for Dustin to answer, to say fucking anything after Eddie just carved himself open and spilled his guts on the floor. He can’t imagine never seeing Steve again, never hearing the sound of his laugh or grazing his hands against the moles on his neck. 

Except if Steve’s actually happy– truly down-to-the-marrow-of-his-bones happy– like Dustin says, Eddie can’t stand in the way of that. He won’t. He’s already hurt his baby so much, he won’t ruin the rest of his life too.

The realization tips Eddie’s world on its axis, the foundation of his life crumbing beneath him. As he does his best to reorient himself, Dustin scoffs a wet chuckle. “There’s going to be so much groveling. Like, a shit ton of groveling.”

A wide, relieved grin breaks out across Eddie’s tear stained face as Dustin smirks. The tone is teasing, but they both know he means it. Eddie wasn’t lying, he’ll grovel on the ground until his knees are soaked in blood. Giving up Steve feels wrong to the depths of his soul, but he’ll do it. Eddie’s not promising he’ll move on, but he can let go. He’ll do whatever it takes to earn the love and respect of his family, and he’s willing to rebuild his entire life to do it. Reconstruct it into something softer, more mundane and normal and utterly filled with a new kind of love.

And when Dustin pulls him into a hug and squeezes the air from Eddie’s lungs, he can’t help but feel overjoyed at the thought he’s already started.

~~~

Part 13 coming soon(ish)

Tag List!!!

@sadisticaltarts @5ammi90 @blacklegsanji21 @jaytriesstrangerthings @thewickedkat

@stripey82 @a-lovely-craziness

[bvidzsoo]

Thousand Miles, just to get you back

 𖥧 District 7 ꒷ this beautiful district is lush with trees, from which these citizens supply our lumber and paper, victors: Blight, Johanna Mason

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: victor!Jeong Yunho x victor!female reader

 𖥧 Warning: suggestive, sexual tension, cursing, ptsd, violence, blood, gore, use of weapons, murder, decapitation but not too graphic, mental manipulation and trauma, alluding to forced sex work and sexual assault, if I missed any, lmk!  𖥧 Word count: 28.7k  𖥧 Rating: mature, nc-17  𖥧 Genre: Hunger Games!au, rivals to lovers!au, set during the Quarter Quell, Catching Fire book  𖥧 Summary: You didn't want this, but then again, you were sure nobody wanted to face the repercussions of being a victor. You hated your life and you hated everyone around you, never trusting a soul again. Whatever President Snow has put you through after your Games was unforgivable and your only solace lay in Finnick Odair, who understood you and your pain. But it didn't end there, no, it never would with Jeong Yunho, another victor, always breathing down your neck and hogging you as if his life depended on it. You didn't like him and you didn't trust him after what he'd done to you despite being your mentor in your Games. And when the 75th Hunger Games come around and President Snow announces that the tributes this year will be the reaped victors, your world comes crashing down, forcing you to do things you never thought you'd do again. But if it meant Panem would be free, you'd do it again.

A/N: Hello, my lovelies! This part took longer but the word count is also...higher. The story is set during the Catching Fire book, but of course, I took creative liberty and changed up some things, I hope you'll enjoy them! I apologize if the action packed scenes are lackluster, I really tried my best while not making it too graphic. I think Yunho's part is my favourite from my HG series, although Mingi's has a special place in my heart. President Snow can die in a ditch for what he did to Katniss and Peeta, no matter how much I like his character, I'll always hate him! This part is really angsty imo so buckle up, you'll be going through it with our MC. I don't think I have anything else to say other than I hope you enjoy and that I love hearing your feedback, so don't be shy! <3 Thank you for reading! divider

            For the past two days, the sky had been covered in dark rainclouds, lightning flashing across the sky every few minutes, the thunder shaking the earth as I stood perched on the windowsill with a cup of warm chamomile tea with plenty of honey in it to make anyone nauseous, even those who enjoyed sweet things. My eyes followed the raindrops as they rapidly slid down against the window, forehead pressing against the cool surface as I could see the reflection of my eyes in it. The house was quiet, so quiet that those who didn’t know would’ve thought the mansion was vacant. Because the victors' houses could easily pass as mansions, bigger than even the mayor's house, it was quiet and cold inside too, the harsh rain welcomed as it cooled the relentless summer heat with which everyone seemed to be struggling. It was truly a blessing to be forced to stay inside my house, with no one to bother me for days on end as nobody from the district was brave enough to venture out in such a harsh downpour. Not that I had anyone in the district who cared for me, I was on my own.

Everyone I once loved was gone. It was solely my fault. I had naively refused President Snow’s little bargain when I looked him in the eyes with an arrogant look and told him to ‘get fucked’. My family, gone for almost five years now, were dead before the train could even take me back to District 7 from the Capitol. Our house, small but spacious enough to house my parents, my two siblings and me, was empty when the train had dropped me off. At first, when no one from my family awaited me on the platform, I had a feeling they might’ve been planning a surprise for me, I wouldn’t put it past them. But when I returned to an empty and cold house with a single note lying on the kitchen table, I knew. It was my fault that all of my loved ones were six feet under, their lives taken away by my foolishness. I would never stop blaming myself, I didn’t want to stop blaming myself. The constant numbness that was wrapped around my heart was a harsh wake-up call to the horrors of the world I was forced to live in.

The Hunger Games had seemed like a nightmare, they were a nightmare, but what came after was the real nightmare. The terror, the pain, the uncertainty and the coldness that followed after having returned home, forced me to face the reality that I was no more than a pawn President Snow could play with however he wished, it hurt. I had been an independent person my whole life. I didn’t need anyone and I knew I would survive on my own if the circumstances forced me to, hence the reason I remained confident that I would return alive from the Games, and the arrogance to put my ego aside and keep my family safe, at last, weren’t worth it. If sleeping with countless men was what would’ve kept my family alive, if only I had known this back when Snow proposed it to me, I would’ve accepted it. I would’ve ignored the disgust I felt and done it without trying to rebel against the only man who could cut off my wings. And he did, he did cut off my wings, right from the root, ripping them out without mercy. At last, my family’s death was in vain. They were gone and I still bedded a different man each night spent at the Capitol, each one of them sent by Snow as a constant punishment to remind me that just because my loved ones weren’t here anymore to be held over my head, he could still do it, Snow could still torture me.

And so, turning my back on everyone and living in solace had been completely my choice. I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t want to be touched by anyone. I was disgusted by my own body and could never look at myself for too long. Whether my hair was long or as short as a boy's, men would still want me. Whether I ruined my face with makeup or kept it neat, they would still ravish me. In the end, nothing I did mattered. Beauty was pain sometimes, but I was too scared to maim myself, to ruin the pretty face every man in the Capitol lusted after. Snow knew too that I couldn’t do, and he enjoyed my silent pain mixed with rage, grinning at me whenever we crossed paths, taunting me with words against which I couldn’t fight back. It would be a never-ending cycle until my last day on earth and I had accepted it, numbing myself to all emotion to the point that I was just a soulless walking body, uncaring, unfeeling.

My body jolted from its slouched-over form as rapid knocks disturbed my peace, becoming louder and louder the longer I ignored them. The rain was pouring harder, lightning more frequent across the sky as thunder shook the ground, making me flinch when instead of knocking, my doorbell was being rung relentlessly. I knew who it was, I knew because today was a big day. President Snow would make his annual announcement about the Hunger Games, the same old speech, the same old rules. But something felt different, ever since Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark became victors, there were whispers in the districts, feeble words of a different future which felt closer and closer to us. Something was changing and I, as usual, wasn’t included in the grand scheme. I was a mere spectator, twirling around Snow’s fingers however he wished me to. When the doorbell’s rings turned into aggressive bangs against the front door, I released an irritated sigh and stood from my spot, storming towards the one that dared disturb my solace.

“What!” I snapped as I yanked the door open, not surprised that I had forgotten to lock it once again. Of course it was him, it was always him. I hated his face, I hated his voice, I hated his presence. I hated his whole being, and so I didn’t wait for an answer as I went to slam the door in his face, but he was fast, arm already pushing against the door as if he could read my mind.

“The muffins will get soaked, just let me in.” His boyish voice was loud as he spoke over the raging storm, his voice deep but somehow still soft. It was annoying, the ease he carried himself with, the constant serene expression on his face was infuriating. He never looked like he struggled and I was sure he just simply didn’t. He just floated through life, taking whatever it threw his way, just to laugh it off at the end of the day and start over the next one. I hated him.

“Get lost.” I hissed and pressed my full body against the door, wrestling against the desperate man on the other side of the door.

“Are you for real right now?!” He exclaimed, voice incredulous as I let one eye peek over the edge of the door, taking in his form. His hair was damp and his cardigan was slightly soaked by the rain, but as long as he stood in front of my door, he’d be protected by the balcony above his head.

“Yes!” I exclaimed and suddenly yanked the door towards myself, hoping it would throw him off balance and I could shut it in his face, but he was smarter, and thus, he swiftly slipped inside, grinning at me victoriously. I scowled as I slammed the door closed behind him, pressing myself up against the sturdy wood as he uncaringly shook his hair, like a dog, and then stepped out of his shoes.

“I made blueberry muffins,” He beamed as he held up the tray covered by a napkin, which was halfway soaked through, “Your favourite!”

He was right, blueberry muffins were my favourite, but they were from him and I’d rather not eat them.

“I don’t want them.” But by the time I was finished talking, he was headed for the kitchen as if this were his house. Albeit, the layout for the victor houses was the same, but this wasn’t his house and he shouldn’t just walk around as if he owned it. I hated it when he disregarded me, remaining his authentic self of a joy ball, pretending like he didn’t see my sharp glare nor hear my muttered insults. And I hated him, eyes glued onto his tall body as I followed after him to the kitchen. He was tall enough that he could see well the contents of the cupboards on the top shelves as he opened them, looking for a smaller plate. I could’ve told him where they were, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to talk to him unless it was a complete must. He made a sound when he finally found the right cabinet, back muscles straining even through the cardigan he wore as he moved around my kitchen as he belonged in it. His build was massive, not too muscular but certainly not as lean as it used to be, and he towered over most men of our district. People were tall here, we had to climb trees, yielding an axe as we worked with lumber, but Jeong Yunho seemed to exceed what was the norm. And despite his intimidating build, his face was gentle and soft, eyes twinkling with life in them and pink lips pulled constantly into a radiant smile. His cheeks were almost always rosy, not because he blushed easily, but because he was fair-skinned and even the smallest bruise would be visible on his body.

“But I baked them for you���”

“That’s exactly why I don’t want them.”

Yunho and I had been a mentor pair for a good five years now, sent off to the Capitol during the Hunger Games, forced to watch two children die each year. Children that we knew, that we swore to train and protect as best as we could, children that ultimately were just children and would die at the hands of bigger and stronger children. Because that’s what the Games were, a sick and twisted way of punishing the districts for daring to disobey the Capitol, for trying to overthrow it due to the mistreatment they constantly faced. So, they took children between the ages of thirteen and eighteen and sent them off to their deaths each year, except for the ones like Yunho and myself, who returned as victors. Yunho was barely two years older than me but the passing of time seemed to miss him each year as his face remained youthful, and only morphed into more handsome features, unlike myself, who struggled with bags under my eyes on the daily and did everything to look less pale but ultimately, I failed, looking older than my age or Yunho. It was unfair, even in this, he was better than me.

Yunho paused as his eyes met mine and he gulped, a flicker of uncertainty flashing through his features, only to be replaced by that annoying soft smile which was always present on his face, “My mother would be really disappointed if you refused them, Y/N. She helped too.”

His mother, Yunho’s family, were still alive. His older brother worked hard despite them being rich now due to Yunho’s income as a victor, and his father had retired to pursue a much simpler career. He liked fixing cars, so, now those used by the woodsmen were all brought to Mr. Jeong for fixing or maintenance. Occasionally, I even saw Peacemakers stop by, keen on keeping it hushed that they asked a simple mechanic from the district to fix their vehicles. It was cheaper this way, Mr. Jeong didn’t charge much, it was just a hobby, after all.

“Fine,” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest as Yunho’s smile widened into a pleased grin, “Just leave them on the counter.”

He nodded and placed the blueberry muffins on the small plate before he threw the crumbs into the trash, rinsing the tray at the sink. I remained standing, keeping the table and even counter between us, never keen on standing close to Yunho. His scent was too strong, it irked my nose, and it made me sneeze too easily. Perhaps I was allergic to his cologne—to his whole being, perhaps. Once he was done, the tray left by the sink to dry, his eyes slowly shifted, landing on my tense face. I wasn’t happy to have him over, he knew it. Yunho knew I didn’t like him, yet he never stopped imposing on my peace of mind—it was truly disgruntling.

“You weren’t going to watch it, right?” His voice was quiet. Unfortunately, Yunho also knew me too well, much to my displeasure. I stopped watching the announcements three years ago, tired of hearing the same thing over and over again. I didn’t answer as I averted my eyes, jaw clenching at the warm ambers that swum in Yunho’s eyes that had the colour of warm chocolate, “I—I think you should, this year. I’ll stay, it starts in five minutes—”

“I don’t want you to stay.” I said, voice cold as my eyebrows furrowed, looking back at Yunho, “And I won’t watch it, Yunho.”

He gulped, but suddenly his happy demeanour dropped as he placed his hands on the counter, “You know the districts had been stirred with Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark’s win, I think we should watch it this year, together.”

“Just go, Yunho, before the nightfall.” Due to the big storms, electricity would be cut off at twilight and people weren’t allowed to leave their homes. The forest was eerily quiet, with the absence of the lumberjacks, the wolves became too brave, too daring, and they would venture past the District’s boundaries and inside the town, devouring whoever they came across. The Victor’s Village of District 7 was right by the forest, it wasn’t smart to go outside at night. But, in all true Yunho fashion, he shook his head with pursed lips.

“Snow’s speech barely lasts three minutes, maybe he’ll make it five now that he’s mad at Katniss Everdeen.” Then he grabbed a muffin and grinned, “I’ll have one if you don’t mind.”

My jaw clenched when he turned on his heels and headed for the living room, the anthem loudly flooding my otherwise quiet house as I heard the sofa creak, Yunho’s big body settling on it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, telling myself that he would be gone before I could blink. Even if the wolves ate him, I wouldn’t let him stay the night, not tonight, not ever. Jeong Yunho wasn’t someone I could trust, his faux kindness and softness were all but a mask which hid his true intentions. I had seen beyond the cracks of his good manners and big heart, and I knew he wasn’t all that different from those from the Capitol. All those years ago, almost six now, he had been my mentor, the only person who was supposed to help me and protect me from the outside as much as he could while I fought for my life in the Games, instead, Jeong Yunho, everyone’s favourite golden boy, went ahead and turned on me.

My legs carried me over to the living room before I could register what I was doing, body tense despite knowing the same old shenanigans would happen this year too. Except that this year a Quarter Quell was happening, this year it was the 75th year of the Hunger Games, and that meant something unusual would happen. It was the third Quarter Quell and the last I’d heard of was horrible, the number of tributes had been doubled, meaning forty-eight children fought for survival and it was Haymitch Abernathy who became the victor, the now drunkard mentor from District 12. Katniss Everdeen was a smart girl, I watched her closely while she fought in that arena, but Haymitch also did his best when he realized the potential she had. Something Yunho never bothered doing for me while he was my mentor, it still left a bitter aftertaste in my mouth. Caesar Flickerman went on about the wedding of Katniss and Peeta before he announced that President Snow would take the lead now.

The sofa creaked under my weight too as I settled as far away from Yunho as possible, his chewing quiet as he cast me a quick glance, a small smile playing at his lips. I ignored him, my body shivering when President Snow’s face was the only thing I could see on the TV. Even after all these years, he still made me feel repulsed whenever I saw him, muscles tensing and my body wanting to coil up in a ball as if that could protect me from his cruelty.

“And now we honour our third Quarter Quell,” President Snow’s tone was determined, confident, and almost coy as a boy stepped forward, holding a box which President Snow opened. He reached inside it, moving envelopes around until his fingers gripped the one with a clear 75 on it. I gulped, feeling irrationally nervous all of a sudden as if I would be reaped next, as if I was back in time standing in the crowd of girls, awaiting the name of the female tribute who’d have to head to the Capitol this year. Yunho could never sit still for too long, always fidgeting or fussing around, but now, even his body was frozen, eyebrows furrowed as I stole a glance at him. He had finished eating the muffin and the little foil it had been in was now crumpled into his fist, “On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors.”

The lights of the TV became a blur as I remained seated, staring ahead, ears ringing as President Snow’s words echoed in my mind. For a split second, the world stopped turning, my lungs failed to inhale the much-needed oxygen. And for another split second, I felt my body tremble, my mouth falling open as Caesar Flickerman’s shrieks of surprise and excitement echoed through the eerily silent house, Yunho’s body unmoving on the other end of the sofa. I couldn’t hear his otherwise loud breaths, I couldn’t even feel my own body. And when reality dawned more upon me, the very high chance that I was going back inside that wrenched Arena almost six years later, nothing else really mattered. The TV went silent with a sickeningly loud crack as the remote control flew into it, shattering it into pieces. My lungs were heaving for air as I sprung up from the sofa, a scream tearing through my throat as I stared at my reflection in the broken TV. I looked mad, my eyes were wide, my cheeks red, my body visibly shaking as my thoughts were clouded with suppressed memories, all the pain, suffering, mourning, the great feeling of loss of sanity, of control over myself.

I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t go back inside that Arena.

And before I could rationalize my thoughts, control my urges and blink away the red haze that’s settled over my vision, my fingers were gripping a heavy ornament from the side table, swinging it across the room as it crashed loudly against the display window of the massive cupboard on the other side of the room. It felt satisfying to hear something break, something of material that reflected my inner world perfectly, and made the fall less painful as my legs carried me over the bookcase, yanking off every book I could grab. My body wanted to destroy, desperate to release all the turmoil that clouded my senses, the trauma that bit and licked at my flesh almost mockingly, President Snow’s snake-like eyes burned in the back of my mind, always taunting, always elated as he watched others suffer.

My hand burned when I touched the sharp edge of the vase I had broken solely with my grip, but I couldn’t stop. The pain I felt muted the screams that threatened to tear past my throat, the tears that stung my eyes but never rolled down, and the hollowness inside my chest that only seemed to grow bigger, swallowing more and more of my being. I had no one to lose anymore, just myself. But I hadn’t been myself since I had won the Games, so was I really losing someone? I had no one to return to even if I won, President Snow has made sure of that a long time ago. There weren’t many victors in District 7, not that I was on good terms with anyone. I’d either return without the male tribute or neither one of us would. My lungs burned as I gripped another ornament off the bookshelf, less heavy but very breakable as I raised my arm high, freezing at the nimble call of my name.

My chest was rising and falling rapidly as if I had run a marathon, muscles tensing more when I remembered I wasn’t alone. No, someone was here with me, in the living room, someone who knew what it meant to go back into the Arena, someone whose cheeks were tear-streaked. I gulped, eyebrows furrowing as I looked at Yunho, fingers curling tighter around the porcelain doll. It had been my younger sister’s, was I truly going to break it?

“Y/N.” Yunho’s tone was low, harsh, and shaking. I gulped, my breaths ragged as they puffed through my nose loudly, and my jaw clenched when Yunho’s face contorted in pain, reflecting what I felt on the inside. But he couldn’t stop me, my bones shook with rage and fear and before I could think more about it, I threw the porcelain doll at Yunho, who easily caught it as if he had been anticipating it. It only angered me more as I grabbed another one, my younger sister used to have a collection, and flung it at Yunho again.

“Get out!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, throwing a third porcelain doll he caught again easily, my voice raw as I wanted to sob, but my throat felt tight, unable to release any shrill sounds. When Yunho failed to move from his spot, I screamed again and pushed everything off the coffee table with one strong shove, ready to flip the heavy table over.

“Stop, Y/N, just stop.” Yunho’s voice had lost its softness, it sounded panicked and pained at the same time, begging me as I refused to acknowledge him. No, he couldn’t stop me, nobody could. I wasn’t going back there, I wasn’t going to fight for my life again, he couldn’t make me—President Snow couldn’t send me back there, not again. Not after I lost everything in vain, I didn’t want to do it again, I didn’t want to relive the terror, the struggle, and I didn’t want to feel so alone when I returned, I was scared of facing the dark on my own again. I had barely learned how to cope with the night terrors on my own, with the numbness that chilled my limbs, with the desperate yearning for connections, for a gentle touch, for words that warmed my heart, I barely learned how to live without those. I couldn’t do it again, I couldn’t—I gasped when I felt strong arms wrap around my torso, immobilising my hands and body as the embrace was tight, “No! Let me go, Yunho, no!”

I pushed, I yanked, I even bit his shoulder until he was groaning, but he didn’t budge. He was sniffing, loudly and unashamedly, but his embrace only became stronger and tighter, more and more suffocating. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think straight as his musky scent entered my nostrils, wrapping around me like a cocoon, his big body like a shield from the cruel world. My skin burned where he touched, and my limbs trembled as I tried to put space between our bodies again, but Yunho wasn’t letting go anytime soon.

“I’m here,” He muttered and I felt him raise his arm, freeing my left side, as his hand held the back of my head, pressing my face further into his neck. His skin was hot, but it was soft and it’s been too long since I came in contact with any other person, it made my knees weak as my mouth parted to hurl more insults at him, but I wasn’t able to voice them, “I’m here, Y/N, we’re in this together. I won’t let anything happen to you, we’ll get through this. Together. Like we always do.”

“No, no, no.” I muttered as my fingers twisted into his knitted cardigan, my heart racing in my chest painfully, “Leave, Yunho, just go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” He snapped, but his arms weren’t holding me so tightly anymore. His long fingers felt cold against my scalp as they tangled against my long locks, slowly running them through my ginger hair, resting his chin against the top of my head. I loathed this, the warmth of his body, the willingness to offer me comfort, I hated him.

“I hate you, get away from me.” Yet despite my mouth speaking one thing, my body screamed another as my arms swiftly circled his torso, yanking Yunho’s body into mine. I wasn’t fighting my lungs for air anymore, I was able to breathe regularly once again, but everything felt so cold still, so numb. It wasn’t enough, Yunho’s big body pressing against mine so firmly, so eagerly as a reminder that he was here wasn’t enough anymore, and I felt weak when a whimper left my mouth, my head turning until I could hide it in the crook of his neck, nose pressing where his shoulder and neck met. His cologne was familiar, it was something I knew too well, it helped my mind relax as I felt Yunho shift his head away, warm lips pressing against the top of my head once, then twice, and then once again. His other hand dropped lower until his large palm pressed against the small of my back, and I shuddered when I felt his cold fingers slip underneath my blouse, skin on skin.

It was hard to think straight when Yunho was all over me, when his fingers explored and his mouth quivered with quiet sighs, his presence overbearing and insistent. It chased away the ever-present cold that settled into my bones, replacing it with a small flicker of something that made me hate myself. I couldn’t trust him, not after he so unashamedly tried to kill me, yet he was the only one who knew me. Yunho was the only person in this whole world who saw the real me, who saw past my coldness and walls I built to protect myself, he was the only one willing to stick around despite how off-putting I was. And it hurt, it burned, it consumed my thoughts in the dead of the night when a night terror awoke me, when all I could do was yearn for a body to hold, for soft words to be whispered into my ears, for lips that healed instead of ruined, for a touch that put me back together instead of breaking me further apart. And I wanted to take and take, to consume until nothing was left of him, until he couldn’t offer me anything more of himself because I had already taken all.

I felt tears streaming down my face when Yunho’s fingers gently traced my spine, driving my fingers to grip his cardigan harder, muscles cramping, but too afraid to let go. His hot breath fanned over my cheek as he lowered his head and I felt his insistent chocolate brown eyes on me, neither full of pity or regret, just understanding and yearning. Much without thinking, but because I didn’t want him to see me at my weakest, I turned my head further into his neck until my lips brushed against his flushed skin, making him shudder. And because my lips yearned just as much as the rest of my body, I let them explore his soft skin, gently pressing them against Yunho’s neck as he gasped quietly. His fingers tangled into my hair when I raised my head slightly, placing another kiss higher on his neck, and he was still gentle, he didn’t yank on the long strands despite being able to. My breath fanned against his hot skin as I let my mouth open, peppering his skin with gentle kisses until I reached his jaw, teeth nipping at the sharp bone. Yunho’s body was trembling and his head was angled lower, his breaths audible as he breathed through his nose.

The familiarity of his embrace was dizzying, the churning of my stomach nothing new as I detached myself from his warm soft skin, pulling my head back until I could stare into his eyes. They were darker, pupils bigger, and his lips looked slightly swollen like he had been biting the bottom one. Yunho’s full cheeks were flushed and his Adam’s Apple bobbed when he gulped, his eyes searching my face as his fingers untangled from my hair and instead gently traced my jaw, holding onto my chin as he tilted my head further up. My eyes fluttered for a second when our lips were angled perfectly against each other, Yunho’s breath fanning over my mouth making me shudder. Releasing my tight hold on his cardigan, I cupped his cheeks, almost keening as I pressed up on my tiptoes, my eyebrows furrowing as our noses pressed together, slowly nuzzling against each other. Yunho gulped again as his lips parted for his tongue to poke out, wetting the red flesh, and I blinked, dread settling deep in my stomach.

When Yunho leaned forward, pressing a slow kiss against my forehead, my body froze, my heart suddenly hammering against my ribcage. Something was wrong, the numbness was back, the pain, the terror. I couldn’t breathe anymore, Yunho’s musky cologne irking my nose as I could feel an oncoming sneeze, and I gasped when his lips tenderly kissed down the slope of my nose, making my fingers dig into his cheeks painfully. I was scared, I was scared because all of a sudden I realized I had something to lose. I have always had something to lose, even when President Snow thought he had taken everything and everyone away from me, he forgot about one person.

He forgot about Jeong Yunho.

As if his touch burned, I pushed him away, watching as confusion and hurt flashed in Yunho’s eyes upon my rude rejection. I could feel myself trembling, Yunho’s addicting warmth disappearing with him, making me shake my head as I felt my bottom lip tremble, “Get out.”

My voice was hoarse and filled with pain, and Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed as thunder cracked loudly in the distance, making me jump. It had become darker outside, way too dark for anyone to step out, but Yunho’s house was the one opposite mine. The wolves couldn’t have him, even if they wanted to. With a lasting stare, his eyes searching my face for a hint of whatever he had seen just seconds ago, Yunho sighed deeply, hanging his head low.

“Try to rest, please.” He muttered before he turned on his heels, and marched out of the living room, the door slamming shut louder than any thunder that’s ever shaken the house's foundation. Coated in darkness and loneliness, nobody witness of the sobs that wracked my body, I crumbled to the floor, curling in on myself as tears blinded me, making my muscles hurt as I gasped for air.

Everyone would suffer again, innocent and rebels alike.

            The floodlights of the open-air stadium were blinding and the air was relatively warmer compared to the constant rainy mood back in District 7. There was a breeze in the air, a whisper of unease and death brushing against our ears as every tribute seemed tense, but tried to hide it with wide and pleased smiles. Neither one of us was happy to be back and we would try to do something to change it, not that President Snow cared. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as the two horses pulling our chariot neighed loudly, ruffling their manes. My left hand was clutching the railing tightly for balance and to root me into the present moment, my right hand clammy against another warm palm. Yunho’s fingers were long and bony, his palm big and calloused, and somehow always cold. My skin crawled when our fingers had intertwined, a flicker of yearning awakening in my chest, but I was quick to drown it in the permeating numbness. I couldn’t feel anything for anyone, not now—especially not now.

The crowd only seemed to roar louder, probably enjoying the show, when all victors joined hands with their respective tribute partners. To us, to the ones who would have to risk their lives again, it wasn’t just a show, it was a last attempt to show that we stood here, together, unwilling to become jesters for the Capitol. But they wouldn’t understand, they never did. The districts, however, could see us and they would understand that we were united even if President Snow tried to tear us apart. We wouldn’t give up, not today and not tomorrow, never again. His tyranny had run on for too long, and his fragile reign was now threatened by the presence of the Mockingjay. The whispers of a riot in the districts had only gotten louder, more persistent, not just simple rumour anymore. The Peacekeepers had been more on edge ever since the 74th Hunger Games, under close surveillance by their comrades at the Capitol.

The chariot was finally taking us back beneath the stadium, away from the eyes of the Capitol and the cameras. My heart was racing against my chest, my veins filled with adrenaline, but dread as well, as every tribute returned backstage, our chariots coming to slow stops as Avoxes came forward to tend to the horses. My grip had been so tight against the railing that my fingers ached when I finally let go, all too aware of Yunho’s firm grip on my hand. With my jaw clenched, I turned my head to look at him, surprised to find him with an impassive expression on his face, lips downturned, and his eyes shaking. Yunho was always smiling, no matter the circumstances. I gulped and flexed my fingers, trying to pry them away, but Yunho didn’t want to release his own grip yet. It made me huff as I turned my body to face him, feeling anger lick at my skin.

“Let go.” I hissed lowly, mindful of the people around us who could overhear us. Nobody could know that I’d rather gut Yunho than be on his side, to everyone around us, we seemed like the perfect mentor pair, him being a sunshine and me the broody one. Nobody knew that behind cameras I would ignore Yunho’s existence, turn down his attempts at a conversation, and lock myself in my room whenever he’d come looking for me with another far-fetched excuse just to speak to me.

When he still hadn’t made a move, fed up, I yanked my hand out of his and leaned close enough for my breath to hit his cheek, my eyebrows deeply furrowed, “Get your shit together, Yunho. And stay away, everything is for show. I hope you haven’t forgotten—”

“How could I?” His chuckle was sarcastic, jaw clenched when he faced me, and for a second I froze, my eyes widening. It wasn’t even the sudden proximity that threw me off, it was the animosity on his face and the small snare on his lips, “You remind me each year of the same old things, you sound like President Snow at times.”

Appalled that he’d compare me to that man, I huffed and gripped the skirt of my dress, lifting it above my ankles as I stepped off the chariot, storming off. I was headed for the elevator so that I could return to our flat, and in my angry strut, I failed to notice a familiar face race after me. My heels were loud as I walked with purpose, glaring at anyone who blocked my path, and I didn’t greet back anyone as I knew they’d want to speak to me. I wasn’t here to mingle, I was here because Snow forced us to play another one of his games, and I was here to win. Before I could be-line it for the open elevator doors, fingers wrapped around my bicep and halted me, making me release a frustrated sigh as I whirled around intending to tell the person off, only for the words to freeze in my throat. The man holding me back wasn’t just anyone, it was Finnick Odair. And for the first time in a while, I felt my body fill with joy as my face relaxed, lips spreading into a wide smile, “Finnick!”

He chuckled as my arms flew around his neck, pulling his body into mine with little care if it was too aggressive or not, Finnick could take it. His torso was exposed due to his stylist’s poor taste, but it didn’t bother me as Finnick was warm and smelled of the sea and somehow the rain too. He felt like family, in his arms I knew I was safe, no matter what. It was funny, really, how easy it was to trust him, to let my walls down around him and just feel everything. I didn’t have to hide my fears when it came to Finnick, I didn’t have to hide my pain and struggles, because he knew. Finnick knew everything and he was often there to pick up the pieces when nobody else was. He understood and he knew what I needed because he needed the same thing. When in the Capitol, forced to be Snow’s muppets, Finnick was my pillar and I was his, the glimmer of light in the darkness, the embrace of a warm body that demanded nothing in exchange, just simple companionship and a shoulder to cry on.

“I thought I’d get a punch for touching you,” Finnick’s honey-like voice was teasing as he hugged me back just as affectionately, “I’m glad I was spared of a right hook, I’d look horrible for our interviews.”

I chuckled, mouth hurting from smiling so widely, “Even with a black, you’d still look dashing, Finnick.”

“Oh, my,” Finnick chuckled again, his arms loosening around my torso, but I was reluctant to let go. It felt nice to be in the arms of someone I trusted, loved even. It’s been too long since my mind could be at ease in anyone’s presence, in someone’s warm and loving hold. Finnick was like the older brother I had lost, always eager to help me out, and there whenever the burden of living alone got too hard. Living in different districts, the distance made it hard to cope with his absence at times, but at least I had one thing to look forward to whenever I was forced to visit the Capitol. I knew Finnick would be here, and I knew he would be just as excited to see me, “I fear my stylist wants to keep me naked for the interviews.”

I grimaced as I definitely didn’t want the mental image of a naked Finnick in my head, and finally let my arms fall from his body, stepping back to leave distance between our bodies, but not too far back. I enjoyed Finnick’s warmth, it felt like I was around the sun, “You should switch him with someone who doesn’t view you as just a pretty piece of meat to put on display. Wooyoung would be more than happy to design your clothes, he’s literally in love with you. He never stops gushing about your looks and body proportions whenever he sees you, it’s gotten sickening actually.”

“Wooyoung is spoiled and Snow loves objectifying me, so he’d never allow it.” Snow loved objectifying Finnick and me too, but thankfully, no matter how spoiled, my stylist, Wooyoung was, he’d never make me wear anything revealing or uncomfortable. He enjoyed working with raw materials, more specifically with tree bark as he claimed it let him explore creative ideas. With the disappearance of Choi San last year, the most sought-after stylist in the Capitol, Jung Wooyoung was the next hot topic. He certainly enjoyed the limelight, glad that San was finally gone and he could have his spot. The two had always been rivals, trying to claim The Best Stylist title, at least based on Wooyoung’s claims. You couldn’t fully believe whatever he said, he loved to spice things up just for the fun of it and spread rumours like wildfire. He was worse than the grannies back in District 7.

“Snow can go and die in his sorry excuse of a mansion, Finnick, at this point, he can’t do shit to me.” I hissed through my teeth, sharp eyes surveying the place as it was buzzing with jittery tributes, stylists and Avoxes, everyone doing their own thing. Most tributes were mingling before they would retreat to their own flats, and I averted my eyes out of fear that he’d come over when I saw Wooyoung storming towards Yunho, probably, you never knew with his sudden mood changes.

“Careful,” Finnick muttered, lips pulled into a sly grin, “the walls have ears everywhere here, darling, we can’t give Snow free material to hang over our heads.”

“As if he can’t just do that without having an actual reason.” I rolled my eyes and Finnick hummed as he grabbed a sugar cube out of the little pouch he had on his waist, turning around as he searched for his and Mags’ chariot. He smiled when his eyes fell on the old lady, and he nodded with his head for me to follow him. I fell in step with him as Finnick and I walked back to his chariot, and he fed the horses with sugar cubes before he popped one in his mouth. I smiled softly when Mags finally noticed me, her face always gentle and understanding. I bowed my head and kissed her on the cheeks, a lump forming in my throat when she pulled me in her arms with a tight squeeze, reminding me of a motherly hug. Anytime I saw Mags, I’d miss my family just a little bit more. She was a reminder that I’d never get to see my mother grow old, my father, nor my siblings. It was painful, but I gulped before more emotions could surface and cleared my throat, looking back at Finnick who was gazing somewhere behind me.

“Lover boy and his bestie are staring at us,” Finnick mused with amusement lacing his tone, “I don’t think your lover boy is too happy that you’re here with me, instead of being with him.”

I scoffed, turning my head to look where Yunho and Mingi stood, catching their gazes as Mingi flinched and quickly looked down at the ground, but Yunho held my gaze, jaw clenched and eyes slightly narrowed. I rolled my eyes and turned my back to them, grabbing Finnick’s bicep as I leaned closer to him, “I wish we could switch tributes—no offence Mags, but I don’t think I’ll be able to not kill him before the Games can even start.”

Mags snickered and shook her head at me as her stylist approached us, giving the old lady an exasperated look before she guided Mags away, making Finnick wave at her as I bowed my head slightly, “He can’t be that bad, honestly, I never understood why you hate him so much. He’s a genuinely nice guy, I bet he’d even sacrifice himself for you—”

“Enough, Finnick.” I snapped as my jaw clenched, emotions twisting in my chest at the mere prospect of Yunho jumping in front of me to take an arrow or a throwing knife to the heart. Yunho might’ve been genuine and loving in other’s eyes, but I knew who he was. He wouldn’t save me, jump in front of an arrow or a throwing knife, no, he’d send me poison disguised as bread just to take me out, his own tribute.

“Right, sorry,” Finnick mumbled as he grabbed another sugar cube, eyes falling on someone to my left. His smile turned into a sly one as he nudged my arm, pointing towards a tall girl with dark braided hair and a gorgeous black costume. She was the girl on fire, the Mockingjay, Katniss Everdeen, “Wanna go say hi? We should show her we mean no harm before she decides we are her enemy.”

“But we are her enemy, Finnick,” I mumbled but followed the man, making him wink at me with a knowing look on his face. If we put it that way, Katniss wasn’t our only enemy, we were each other’s enemies too, it was only natural when it came to the Games. No previous friendships mattered once we stepped inside the Arena and the canon went off, signalling the start of the Games. I remained standing behind Finnick as Katniss’ attention was on us, her hand slowly petting the horse.

“Do you want a sugar cube?” Finnick asked with his honey-like voice even warmer now, grinning charmingly. Katniss’ eyes narrowed as they glanced briefly at me before she focused on Finnick again, jaw clenching. She completely ignored Finnick’s hand, which was extended towards her and held a sugar cube in his palm.

“No.” She deadpanned and I snorted, masking it with a gulp when Finnick threw me a displeased look. It was hilarious each time a female turned Finnick’s advances down, it didn’t happen often and that’s exactly why I enjoyed it even more.

“Well, girl on fire, you certainly dress to impress.”

“As always.” I couldn’t help but mutter as Katniss and Mingi’s clothes had caught on fire before the parade was over, the roars of the people were so loud that they managed to make my ears ring. Katniss and Finnick ignored my comment and I let my eyes study the girl’s face more, she was way too young to be here. I was an adult, most of us were, but she was sixteen, just a child.

“Thanks, your costume is…lacking.” Katniss grimaced before she quickly averted her eyes from Finnick’s exposed chest and I chuckled again, surprised to hear her addressing me as well, “But yours looks nice—raw, almost.”

“It’s because it is raw, it’s real tree bark,” I explained as I let my fingers trace the corset, sturdy and protective around my torso. I extended my hand towards her, showing her that I meant no harm, just yet, “My name’s Im Y/N.”

“I know,” Katniss muttered as she shook my hand, her grip strong but not lasting, “I’m Katniss Everdeen.”

I hummed and nudged Finnick to suggest that he should introduce himself too, but he just popped the sugar cube in his mouth and smirked at Katniss, who looked clearly uncomfortable, “And he’s Finnick Odair, don’t let his cocky attitude make you feel uncomfortable. He’s just half the jerk he seems to be.”

Finnick scoffed and gave me a sharp look which I ignored as I studied Katniss’ face more, watching her fight a small smile off her lips as her eyes hardened instead, stance determined as she pulled her shoulders back, “Well, it’s not like I’m here to make friends.”

“Not friends, but maybe having a few people on your side wouldn’t help, girl on fire, not everyone is fond of you.” Finnick’s voice dropped as he took a step towards her, making her tense up. My jaw clenched and I averted my eyes because I knew he was right, “We are here because of you and the little stunt you pulled last year, Katniss. Don’t lower your guard.”

“Thanks for the advice, Finnick, but I don’t need it.” Katniss snapped, turning around to take off towards her mentor who seemed to appear out of nowhere. Finnick was about to say something, but I gripped his arm to stop him, my eyes meeting Haymitch’s blue ones. His eyebrows were furrowed as he took both Finnick and me in, a gaze filled with questions flashing over his face before he nodded at us in acknowledgement.

“Well, let’s get Mingi and then we can go.”

“Please, I can’t stay a second longer here.”

I watched as Haymitch and Katniss walked around us, making Finnick grimace as I turned my head to watch them walk towards Yunho, who was unsurprisingly beaming as he was surrounded by a few other tributes as well. Mingi, despite being just as tall as him, was hunched forward and hiding behind Yunho, his head lowered and jaw clenched. Song Mingi had stopped doing well after his Games, always so fidgety and scared of the world around him. But Yunho seemed determined to befriend him and he has never left Mingi’s side ever since his Victor’s Party. I couldn’t help but scowl at the two men before Finnick sighed loudly, grabbing my hand to grab my attention.

“There’ll be a bloodbath this year, Y/N, and I’m not going down so easily.” Finnick’s tone lowered and his eyes shook with conviction, and a flicker of anger, “Keep your ears and eyes open, study those around you, and stay close to the Mockingjay, you’ll know who’s your friend and foe then.”

With his cryptic words, he leaned forward to press a kiss against my cheek before he excused himself and headed for the elevator, his face tired as I watched him hug his torso when the female tributes from Districts 1 and 2 went and approached him like some hyenas, eyes filled with lust as they gazed upon him. People from Districts 1 and 2 were just as bad as those from the Capitol and I hated all of them. Sick of being surrounded by so many people I disliked, I grabbed the skirt of my heavy dress and raised it above my ankles as I stormed off towards one of the many elevators, waiting for one to open its doors as I ignored the insisted stares and whispers from the other tributes. Nobody really liked me, and I intended to keep it that way.

At least fewer feelings would be involved when I’d have to kill them, it wasn’t anything personal, after all.

            The days seemed to blur together when I was at the Capitol, yet at the same time, it felt like no time had even passed at all. As a mentor, all I had to do was focus on guiding the child I was given, making them the strongest and smartest possible. I had to strategize with them and help them build up their confidence if they lacked it, and I had to build them a persona that was easily likeable and cherished by the Capitol. But for that to happen, it also required me to network, to become someone liked by the Capitol. If it wasn’t for Yunho, I was sure not many would’ve liked me. We balanced each other out, where he was too soft and forgiving, I was rigid and hardly able to let go of a grudge. Nobody would willingly become a person disliked by many, but I had long stopped caring about other’s expectations and thoughts. I lived for myself and I lived the way I wanted—as long as President Snow allowed me to, of course. Nothing was made out of sunshine and rainbows in Panem, and if you wanted to have something that was only yours, you’d have to work hard for it, and even then it wouldn’t be enough. It was sickening, really, when I realized that I was at a great disadvantage this year.

I wasn’t a mentor any more, I was a tribute, a person not many would root for. People in the Capitol had twisted and sick fantasies and enjoyed brutality, but if one’s character wasn’t likeable, they would turn a blind eye to their efforts to win them over with their skills. And this meant that there wouldn’t be many rooting for me or sending me gifts and the bare minimum of necessities. I had to play it smart, who I’d team up with, who I’d betray, who I’d trust and who I wouldn’t. I couldn’t let just anyone into my circle of allies, and thus, when people who had no idea what the Games were about tried to give me advice, it only naturally made my blood boil. My stylists, who otherwise were rather acceptable people despite being from the Capitol, had seemed to think they knew better who was good and wasn’t to have in your team. They thought just because they watched us through a screen each year they could give us advice. I have held my tongue the whole week, not wanting to create an even more tense environment. It was already enough that I fled the room whenever Yunho entered it and didn’t speak nor look at him even at the other’s futile attempts.

Tonight was no different as we sat at the big table filled with tasty food to the brim, loud chatter filling the vast dining room. Yunho was to my left, unfortunately, and his musky cologne seemed to be stronger tonight than any time else, making my nose itch as I fought another sneeze away. I raised my hand holding the fork and rubbed at my nose, trying to get rid of the constant itching, it was irritating. But what was even more irritating were Yunho’s futile attempts at grabbing my attention or trying to stir up a conversation with me, it wasn’t happening. We were headed inside the Arena in less than two days and I wasn’t about to frolic around with him. I managed to avoid him so far, I had to remain focused on my own strategy. I wasn’t dying in that Arena, if President Snow thought it would be smart to send victors back, I would make sure to give him a headache lasting for centuries. Did he want a parade? I would gladly create a scene for him.

“Ah, just look at it!” Momo exclaimed, her full attention on the TV’s screen as they were replaying images of yesterday night’s interviews. It didn’t go as planned, of course, it didn’t. Everyone was revolted for having to return inside the Arena, and in a last desperate attempt, we had tried to show our unity to the districts that even if Snow tried to turn us against each other, at the core, we fought together for a better tomorrow, for a better Panem. My lips twitched into a satisfied smirk when I watched ourselves on the screen holding hands, raising them high up in the air as Caesar Flickerman’s panicked voice cut through the microphone, and then the lights went out. Snow hated it, I knew he hated it, and the knowledge of that alone made my whole evening more enjoyable. That is, of course, until Momo’s big and gleaming eyes were focused back on us.

“You are so brave,” She said, lips quivering. Out of the team that worked with us to make us look good, Momo was the least likeable. She was the typical Capitol resident, entitled and sheltered, a bit dumb, and overall annoying, “I wouldn’t be able to stand there, you even held hands to share a last moment together. It’s beautiful.”

Wooyoung, always the little shit, snorted under his breath as he raised his fork and bit the meat off of it. Wooyoung wasn’t dumb, he was far from it, and he seemed to dislike most of the people surrounding him despite not being that different from them. He said nothing as Minghao hummed from across me, his features blank as always. He rarely spoke, but when he did, he’d either say something that would scar you for life or make you wish he never opened his mouth. He was merciless, with everyone.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” My voice was laced with sarcasm and Yunho stopped moving around for a second, I could feel his wide eyes on the side of my face. It was the first time I had spoken tonight, “Sending us to our imminent deaths? Yeah, there’s just something so romantic about it, don’t you think so?”

An uncomfortable silence fell over the table despite the amused smile on Minghao’s face, who took hold of his wine glass and tilted it in my direction as a silent toast. I wasn’t fond of him, unsurprisingly, but he seemed to be the only person besides Yunho and myself who was aware of all the horror the Capitol inflicted on the districts. He was quiet about it, but his mask sometimes slipped and I could see the hatred in his eyes, the rage boiling underneath his blood whenever Snow was shown on the screen, giving one of his lame speeches.

“Well,” Yeri, a person full of life and passion, tried to diffuse the palpable tension, “how did your evaluations go? What did you do? You never told us about it.”

“Yeah, you didn’t!” Wooyoung exclaimed with a full mouth, making Yeri grimace as she averted her eyes onto her plate. We didn’t have the time to tell them about it, not that I was in the mood to talk about how I had showcased my skills. I did it in a certainly memorable way, I was sure the Gamemakers weren’t satisfied with it, but I wasn’t here to please anyone. Yunho cleared his throat as he leaned forward to grab his cup of water, eyes falling on me briefly. I ignored him and took another bite of my dinner, the rich aromas never ceasing to amaze me. If there was just one good thing about the existence of the Capitol, it was their food.

As Yunho realized I wouldn’t speak up, he cleared his throat again and intertwined his fingers as he placed them on the table, “I did what I did all those years ago but made it more interesting, I suppose. I’m good with an axe, so…I wasn’t trying to impress anyone, really. That’s not my goal—”

“But, Yunho!” Momo’s exclamation cut Yunho off as her eyes grew wide, “You are supposed to impress them! What if they give you a bad score? That would be terrible.”

I snorted under my breath, rolling my eyes, “The Capitol giving a bad score to their golden boy? Yeah, sure, and I’m President Snow’s wife.”

“You’d kill yourself first before they’d even pronounce you as his wife.” Minghao’s reply came fast, cutting through the growing tension due to my blatant jar directed at Yunho. But, yes, Minghao was right. I’d rather kill myself than marry Snow, it was a stupid and absurd example, just like Momo’s stupid assumption.

“You’d be surprised to find out they aren’t as head over heels for me as you think, Y/N.” Yunho rarely snapped back, but as I glanced at him, I noticed his jaw clenching and unclenching. I couldn’t say that I was satisfied to see him triggered, but it certainly made me feel a little bit smug. Watching Yunho’s perfect mask crumble always satisfied me, it was proof of who he really was. It’s a pity not many were able to witness it.

“Maybe, but—” Wooyoung paused for no reason, just to be dramatic, as his twinkling eyes fell on me, “they certainly like you more than they like Y/N.”

“Say something new, Wooyoung.” I huffed and grabbed my own glass of orange juice, my stomach heavy from how much I had eaten. I had to enjoy full meals before going inside the Arena, I knew there I wouldn’t have the chance to eat much. I hated it.

“Since it seems like the cat finally returned your tongue, tell us about your evaluation.” Wooyoung grinned, lips ghosting over the edge of his wine glass. My jaw tensed as I leaned back in my chair, pushing the plate just slightly away from me as a way of letting everyone know I wasn’t eating anymore. The Avoxes lingering just around us noticed and quickly came closer, taking the plates and silverware away before they disappeared to the kitchen. I didn’t want to entertain those who sat at the table with me, but I knew I couldn’t just stand and go to my room, that would’ve been too rude, and I knew Minghao would very shamelessly drag me back. But just to prolong my moment of silence and peace of mind, knowing the reactions that would soon follow, I took a big gulp of the orange juice and made sure to savour it. Wooyoung scoffed as he rolled his eyes and Minghao, surprisingly, seemed rather interested as his eyebrows raised. Momo had her mouth hanging open as she sat on the edge of her chair and Yeri seemed nonchalant, but I knew she was just as curious as everyone else.

As for Yunho, his torso had turned to face me and his warm chocolate-like eyes were insistent, as if he was trying to penetrate my mind and read my every thought. Irritated, I held the glass in both hands and took a deep breath, “I destroyed the training room.”

The gasps that followed were satisfying, gratifying. I chuckled, staring at nothing in particular smugly, “I walked inside with my head held high, I introduced myself and then grabbed the tables first, pushing everything off of them just to flip them over. Then I went and turned everything I could over, hurling the weapons I could towards the Gamemakers, but sadly, there was a forcefield around them this time. And then, when I felt satisfied with my work, I told them to get fucked in the ass and left the room with a bright smile on my face.”

The mouths hanging open made me chuckle, which turned into quiet giggles as I stared down into my lap, feeling as if I had accomplished something big. This was the best way I could show defiance, and so I took the opportunity and rolled with it. I couldn’t have been prouder, but my joyful moment didn’t last for long when I felt a warm palm pressing against my left thigh. Before I could react, push the hand off or anything, long fingers grabbed onto my flesh through my pants and I gulped, my heartbeat spiking at the inappropriate touch. I whipped my head around, Yunho’s eyes boring into mine as his eyebrows were furrowed.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” His voice was deep, low, and scrutinizing. I scoffed but didn’t say anything as his grip only turned tighter, making goosebumps erupt under my sweater. Yunho didn’t look mad, but he didn’t look calm either, it was peculiar, I couldn’t read his expression.

“That’s…” Minghao took a deep breath, face suddenly lighting up in elation, “simply brilliant!”

“No, it isn’t.” Yunho snapped, his head turning around as he looked at Wooyoung, who looked concerned. It made my eyebrows furrow, but before I could speak up, Yeri beat me to it.

“You just put a target on your head, Y/N,” Her voice was hesitant as she glanced around the table, stare lingering on Wooyoung as if she was asking for permission to speak, “You know the President isn’t fond of you, you shouldn’t have angered him further. These Games, they—they are happening to take you down, the strongest, the ones who had proven they were strong enough to fight a battle lest it happens, you should play it smart, Y/N, not make a fool out of yourself.”

My eyebrows raised as I chuckled, unamused, leaning forward to look at Yeri better, “Really? I’m a fool now? You think I want to be here, again?! You think I want to go back inside that fucking Arena and kill those people? To relive all the repressed memories and emotions? Fuck off, Yeri, when all you’ve known is a lavished lifestyle without death constantly looming over your head.”

“Watch your language.” Wooyoung was rarely serious, but when his fox-like eyes narrowed and his lips twitched, he looked scary. He could be scary when he wanted to be, perhaps that is why he laughed so often and tried to always look mischievous, “Yeri is right, stop being so fucking proud that you can’t admit when you’ve just made a mistake. If your score is low the people won’t even bat an eyelash your way, considering there’s someone who likes you.”

“I don’t give a shit who likes me and who doesn’t, Wooyoung.” I scoffed, my thigh burning where Yunho’s fingers gripped it. It was becoming too hot in the dining room, Yunho’s strong cologne was making my head dizzy and I could feel my lungs tightening up. I didn’t want to stay here, I didn’t like being put on the spot, and I didn’t like it when people treated me for less than I was.

“Well, you should.” Wooyoung said, tone cold, “Because your life depends on your sponsors and your allies, you stupid girl.”

Before I could snap back at Wooyoung, Momo, who had been surprisingly quiet, chirped up, “Speaking of that, who are you taking as your allies? I was thinking Enobaria, from District 2, and—”

“Mingi.” Yunho’s tone was determined, eyes hardened as he looked at everyone sitting at the table, his gaze slipping onto mine, “I’m not leaving him alone, he’s coming with us.”

“With us?” I muttered under my breath and flinched when Yunho’s fingers felt like they were digging through my pants, “I’m with Finnick and Mags, I don’t care what you do and who you go off with.”

“You’re a team.” Minghao said, his lips pursed, “You two have to stick together, it’s what everyone else will do too, it’s only logical.”

“And if I don’t want to?” I fired rapidly, eyebrows raising.

“I just told you to stop being fucking arrogant, Y/N.” Wooyoung hissed, slamming his fist onto the table and making me flinch as my heart started thumping faster, “You’d be suicidal to not form a team with Yunho, he’s amongst the last ones the other tributes will go for. He’s strong and you know he’s got your back, you can’t go frolicking with Finnick and Mags, what if they turn on you?”

“They won’t,” I said through a clenched jaw and having had enough of Yunho’s touch, I gripped his wrist and ignored the looks we got. My nails dug into his skin painfully, but he wasn’t budging, it made my blood boil, “Finnick is like my brother, he won’t turn on me.”

“Mingi is like my brother too, I’m not leaving him alone—”

“So, are you saying you want us to team up with the Mockingjay?” I whipped my head around, eyes bleeding into Yunho’s, “You want to put a target on our heads right from the get-go? Everyone hates her guts, everyone will want to kill her first. I’m not teaming up with Mingi and Katniss, Yunho—”

“It wasn’t a question,” Yunho snapped, suddenly flipping his palm up as he grabbed my wrist instead and yanked me towards himself. I gasped as I felt forward, gripping the edge of the chair with my right hand, heart racing against my chest, “Mingi is coming with us, and wherever he goes, Katniss goes too. And you’re coming with us too, whether you like it or not. I don’t care if Finnick and Mags join us, I know they won’t turn against us until there’s just us left behind.”

I scoffed and yanked my wrist out of his hold, snarling at him, “You won’t tell me what to do, I’m not going to be in a team with you. Yet better, get out of my fucking way when that canon goes off because you will be the first person I’ll kill, Yunho.”

My words stung, they were honest but I hadn’t meant them like that. I hadn’t realized their weight until it was too late and I couldn’t take them back anymore. I tried to gulp but my throat was tight, cheeks burning from both anger and the sudden regret and embarrassment I felt. For the first time, I didn’t feel satisfaction as I watched Yunho’s face fall, a very clearly pained expression crossing his face. His eyebrows furrowed as if he didn’t understand why I would say something like that, but his eyes filled with tears and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore. It didn’t help that everyone was staring at me with wide-open mouths, just as shocked as Yunho by my words. When I heard Momo starting to sob, I knew I couldn’t sit there anymore. I stood abruptly, pushing my chair back forcefully as I took off towards my room, breaking out into a sprint when I felt my bottom lip shake, tears flooding my eyes.

Why was I on the verge of breaking down? Why did my own words hurt me when they were the truth, when they were supposed to let Yunho know that I didn’t want him around? Not here, not home, and certainly not in the Games. I couldn’t trust him, he’d tried to kill me once before, and he wasn’t even in the Arena with me, what would guarantee that he wouldn’t do it again? And now it would be so much easier done, I couldn’t trust him. In my desperate daze to get back to my room, I didn’t hear the quick footsteps chasing after me, and I gasped when my door was slammed open before it could even close. I knew who it was even before I turned around, and my hands balled into fists, throat tight as I tried to gulp again.

“Why are you like this?”

“Get out.”

We spoke over each other, Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion while mine in irritation, “Get out, Yunho, get out!”

“I’m not going fucking anywhere until you tell me how I wronged you!” Yunho had never raised his voice before, it made me flinch as his chest fell and rose rapidly, his lips downturned. He was mad and confused, and he wasn’t budging as I tried to push him out of my room. No, instead, he gripped my biceps painfully hard and shook my body as if that would shake some sense into me, his eyes shaking as they bore into mine. I couldn’t breathe as my heart raced painfully hard in my chest, my face flushed from the adrenaline. I couldn’t even tell what was wrong with me anymore, I didn’t know if I was scared, mad, desperate, or just insane. But I knew that if Yunho continued looking at me with that hurt expression on his face, I would completely break, and I couldn’t let that happen. Not when we were so close to going inside the Games where I had to be focused and committed to the thought that only I was making it back.

“You should think back on your actions, Yunho, it’s very easy actually.” I chuckled, trying to feign nonchalance, but I knew I was failing by how shaky my voice sounded, “I don’t trust you.”

“I know that, but no matter how hard I think about it, I just—” He gulped, averting his eyes, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I did wrong and I can’t—I just can’t have you pushing me away when we are so close, please, Y/N. I care for you just as much as I care for Mingi, we can’t separate in the Arena.”

I gulped as Yunho’s painful grip softened on my biceps, his shaking eyes searching my face as I tried to gather my thoughts, to give him a rational answer, “You think you won’t turn on me when the timing comes?”

I was surprised by how dejected and sad I sounded. I chuckled, fed up even with myself as the silence stretched on between us, Yunho’s lack of an answer being the answer. He knew it and I knew it too, the alliances would last as long as there were still many of us alive in the Arena. After that? Everyone was on their own, everyone. Even those who loved each other would have no choice but to choose. Me or them. And the answer was clear, it always had been. Humans were selfish, we were desperate to survive, and it was obvious who we’d choose.

“But I don’t want to turn on you.” Yunho’s voice was just a whisper as suddenly his hands moved, tracing up to my shoulders as he stepped closer, making me inhale deeply. His musky scent was nauseating, but it was the only thing in this wrenched place that smelled like home, that reminded me of home, that felt like home. Yunho’s closeness was familiar despite my dislike for it, and I found myself gripping his sweater at his hips, tilting my head back to look at him better. Yunho’s eyes were coated with an emotion that ran deep in his bones, an emotion that was so clear it made me freeze. He didn’t hate me, not even when I had been nothing but horrible to him, it was so obvious he didn’t and that was dangerous. It was dangerous because I could feel my walls crumble as I closed the distance between us, pressing my body against his bigger and stronger one. Yunho’s jaw clenched as he gently cupped my jaw, licking his lips as his eyes shifted between my eyes and lips.

“We won’t have to turn against each other, Y/N.” He whispered, leaning down so close that our lips brushed together. I gasped, quietly, as my eyes widened, freezing in his hold as I didn’t expect him to make such a bold move. But there was something hidden in his gaze, which quickly darted over the room as if searching for something, his voice really low and deep as he spoke again, “This will be the last time, to us, to them, to the children. Whatever happens in that Arena, it will happen with the intention to fix what’s been broken for so many years, to bring about a new beginning. So we mustn’t forget who our true enemy is, Y/N.”

My mind was reeling as Yunho’s words sank in, heart beating in a frenzy as I couldn’t completely focus due to the mess I was feeling inside. I wanted to push him away, slap him, berate him, but I also wanted to grab his collar and seal our lips together, to devour him, to breathe him in, to feel his body against mine, to give in to the burn situated low in my stomach. I hated him, but I wanted him. Snow took everyone from me, but he left me with Yunho as if he knew I’d torture myself over it, hate him with moments of relapse where all I could do was want him. I shuddered when Yunho shifted his head, his soft and wet lips pressing against the corner of my mouth. I wanted to chase after it, I wanted to taste him, but he turned his head when I tried to finally close the small distance. My lips pressed against his jaw instead and I couldn’t stop myself as I pressed an open-mouth kiss against his hot skin, fingers digging into his sweater, settling on his narrow hips. I couldn’t control myself anymore, it was too much. And maybe I didn’t want to let my logical brain lead me, maybe I wanted to give in to my deepest, darkest, desires led by my heart.

“If we do this together, Yunho,” My voice was hoarse as I spoke, our eyes meeting again as Yunho faced me once again, “The second I realize you’ve lied to me, I will kill you. I will kill anyone because I’m not dying in that Arena.”

“You are not.” Yunho emphasised as he gulped, reaching a hand up as he pushed my hair back, tangling his long fingers into the smooth strands, “But we must protect the Mockingjay.”

“Why?” I hissed, eyebrows furrowed as I turned my head just slightly, pressing my cheek into his, for once, warm palm. Yunho smiled, letting his other hand drop from my jaw as he shrugged, eyes shaking as his face morphed into tiredness. He seemed tired, but not just due to today’s events, he was tired of everything.

“To be free.” My eyes fluttered closed when he leaned forward, pressing a lasting kiss against my forehead. It made my chest ache and my hands almost chased after him when he untangled himself from my body, leaving me alone and cold in the room that would be my bedroom for the last time. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew one thing.

I wasn’t dying in that Arena, and perhaps neither was Yunho.

            Dread, so deep that it rattled your bones, was an emotion one could never get used to. I forgot what it truly meant to fear for your life, to do everything you could to keep yourself alive. President Snow wanted the utmost entertainment as Panem watched their most beloved victors fight for their lives, and he certainly got what he wanted. We didn’t have to run to the Cornucopia this year to get our weapons, no, the Cornucopia was where we stood the second the platforms raised us into the Arena. I couldn’t even focus on my chaotic heartbeat, eyes looking around for Finnick, only to spot Yunho instead straight across from me. He had given me a firm nod, and then his eyes fixed on something past me. When I turned to see what it was, I could see two axes lined up against the leg of a table. They were put there for us. I turned in my spot, muscles tight as the countdown began—may the odds be ever in your favour. Words I never thought I’d hear so vividly again, just through the screen of a TV while I watched my tributes fight until death.

And despite knowing what it meant to be in the Games and knowing it would be no easy feat to get away from the Cornucopia in one piece, it still shocked me how hard I had to fight to gain the upper hand. It seemed like Yunho and I weren’t the only ones yielding an axe, and thus, my first kill had been claimed right after the countdown, it didn’t surprise me. But there was no time for grief or hesitation, everyone was out there to get the other. I had to find my allies before someone could kill me, and upon seeing Finnick’s blonde hair disappear underwater, I knew I had to get away too. The Cornucopia was situated on an island in the middle of a lake, surrounded by lush green and dense pine trees. The breeze was chilly, the air humid. It felt like I was back in District 7 on an early autumn day when the days were starting to get shorter and the nights longer. The scenery felt familiar yet it made my skin crawl, I hated it here.

My ears still rang from the canons that had gone off right after the countdown, and my lungs burned when I resurfaced. The water was colder than I had expected and as I wasn’t an experimented swimmer, I struggled until I reached the shore, the axe I had to somehow carry to land also made my mission more difficult. As I gasped for air, water droplets obscuring my view, hand feeling around for my abandoned axe, I realized with great terror that something was actively sneaking around my ankles, slithering up my legs. In a frenzy, I decided to look back and I was mortified when I realized the weeds inside the water were moving up my leg, trying to yank me back inside the water. I tried to reach for my axe but it was out of reach, and just as I started trashing my legs around in hopes of making the weeds retract, I heard the sound of splashing water not too far from me. Then, the sharp edge of an axe came down and I gasped as I quickly flipped onto my back, my hand gripping the handle of my own axe as I was finally able to reach it.

Yunho’s suit was snug against his fit body, leaving very little to the imagination as it acted as a second skin. Our suits offered warmth but they were uncomfortable, the jacket that came with it only holding us back when we had to swim through the lake to reach the shore. Yunho was breathing hard as his eyes were pointed at me, and then he reached his hand out and I grabbed it without thinking much. I was hoisted up and I made sure no weed remained on my legs as Yunho hadn’t released my hand just yet, guiding us towards another tall person, who stood far away from the wet ground. My teeth clattered against each other as the lake’s coldness seemed to cling onto my every crevice, and I whipped my head left and right as I was trying to spot Finnick and Mags. I could see people rushing inside the trees at a distance, but neither had blonde hair like Finnick’s. Then, realizing that despite him being strong and capable of getting through the bloodbath, one of the canons that went off could’ve signalled his death.

My breath caught in my throat as I yanked my hand out of Yunho’s, making him pause as we finally reached Mingi, who was looking around himself nervously, bow and arrow clutched tightly in his hands. A hunting knife was strapped to his hips as well, and despite the always solemn look on his face, he seemed alert and present. But I couldn’t focus on Mingi or Yunho, all I could think about was the absence of Finnick, Mags, and even Katniss. Weren’t Mingi and her supposed to stick together no matter what?

“Where’s Katniss?” I found myself asking before I could think this through. I didn’t trust Mingi, hell, I didn’t even fully trust Yunho. I didn’t want to be with them, but Yunho’s long fingers found my arm again and he was suddenly walking off, dragging me after himself. I tried to stop, looking back at Mingi with a panicked expression on my face as he followed after us wordlessly, but neither one of them was saying anything. It only made my heart race faster, reminded me of the time when I was betrayed by my own district’s male tribute, flashbacks making my body shudder when Yunho just ignored me, fingernails digging through the fabric of my jacket as he led the way deeper inside the pine forest, “Stop—stop!”

I knew I was supposed to stay silent, but I was panicking, my mind was hazy and my lungs were heavy, I couldn’t continue like this. The Games had just started, I couldn’t freak out so early on, I needed to stay level-headed and in control of my thoughts and actions, “Yunho, I said fucking stop!”

“We can’t stop, Y/N!” He exclaimed, suddenly halting and making me run into his broad back. I gasped as my face collided with it and he whirled around, eyebrows furrowed, “We are too exposed right now, we have to keep going, the others are lurking around still.”

“I’m not going anywhere without Finnick, Yunho, I’ve already told you this—”

“I didn’t see Finnick anywhere,” I could barely speak before Yunho cut me off, as if he didn’t even care about what I had to say. The lump in my throat made it hard to swallow all of a sudden, “We can’t wait around for him, we have to keep moving for a while, at least. And if—he—he might’ve died already, Y/N, we can’t wait around for—”

“What about Katniss?” I hissed, turning my head around as I glared at Mingi, who looked tense and lowered his eyes when my glare burned into his shaken eyes, “Weren’t you two supposed to stay together?”

“We were, but I—she pushed me in the water to save me from a knife and I—” Mingi gulped, sharing a quick glance with Yunho. It made me look back at Yunho, feeling more suspicious than before. Something was wrong, they had to be lying. But why would they want us to separate from Finnick and Katniss? It made no sense, “I lost sight of her, I’m sorry. But she’s strong and she can swim, I know she made it out. The forest is like a second home to her, she’ll find her way back—I hope.”

“Hope,” I scoffed, shaking Yunho’s grip off as I held my axe even tighter, jaw clenching, “is not good enough here, Mingi. Are you sure you didn’t do this on purpose? Why did you want to separate me from Finnick—”

“Nobody wanted us to separate.” Yunho’s sharp tone cut me off and I gasped when I felt him cup my cheek and turn my head around, his chocolate brown eyes hard and glaring, “Things rarely go as planned inside the Games, Y/N, you know that, so we can’t just stand here and argue and draw even more attention onto us. We’ll search until we find them, okay?”

“I know you did this on purpose, Yunho.” I hissed, slapping his warm hand away, my jaw clenching as Yunho closed his eyes and released a long exhale, “I don’t know what sick and twisted game you’re playing at, but I will slit your—”

A twig snapping to our right made the rest of my words die in the back of my throat, making both Yunho and Mingi tense up as they whipped their heads towards where the sound had come from. My grip tightened around the handle of my axe until my joints ached, and I tilted my head, waiting and listening for another sound. It was minuscule, but it was there, someone was hiding behind the tree. It didn’t look like Mingi or Yunho had noticed, though, because Mingi turned his head and Yunho opened his mouth to say something, but I paid them no mind as I raised my arm and flung my axe towards the tree just as someone with a sword jumped around it. The sickening crack of bones was loud as the tribute gasped, flung back into the tree as the axe was lodged almost perfectly in the middle of his chest. Mingi gasped and seemed to freeze as Yunho gulped, his hand tightening around his own axe.

I threw him a glare before I went towards the tribute who was pinned against the tree by my axe, blood flowing out of his mouth as the life slowly slipped away from the man’s eyes. It was the male tribute from District 6, a man I didn’t know well but had heard talk shit about me behind my back. He was still alive but just barely hanging onto life, so without thinking, I grabbed the back of the axe and pushed it even deeper into the man’s chest, making him let out a gurgled groan. It only took three seconds for his head to drop and for the canon to go off. I scoffed and grabbed the back of the axe, yanking it out of his lifeless body as he crumbled to the ground, folding over itself as I wiped the blood on the back of his jacket, grinning to myself. I would’ve apologized if he would’ve deserved it, but a man who’d tried sexually assaulting me before did not deserve my mercy. Satisfied with my work, and slightly hopeful that the Capitol was thrilled by my kill, I turned with a grin on my lips. The feeling of victory didn’t last for long as I froze, taken aback by the sight in front of me.

Mingi’s whole body was shaking, his bow and arrow were on the ground and his head was hidden in the crook of Yunho’s neck, who held his friend close, muttering reassuring words into the younger’s ear. My jaw clenched, and suddenly the adrenaline rush crashed inside my body, bringing back the clattering of my teeth as my body was still way too cold. I wanted to think of Mingi as someone weak, as someone who had lost his mind already, as someone who had no place in the Hunger Games, an easy prey to whom death was certain. But deep down, in a hidden chamber of my heart, I felt sympathy for Mingi because all I wanted to do was crumble into a ball and sob until no emotion was left inside my chest. I was beyond frightened and all I wanted was to be held in Yunho’s warm and comforting arms, in the arms that felt like home. But I couldn’t, if I let my emotions take the lead, I would die and that was a luxury I couldn’t afford—not yet, at least.

“We need to move,” I spoke up, voice surprisingly gentle as I realized Mingi’s reaction had been triggered by my kill. I didn’t want to set him off more, it wouldn’t just be bad for him, it would set Yunho and me back too, I couldn’t have that happen, “We’re too close to the shore still.”

“Mingi,” Yunho’s voice was gentle as he pressed his nose against his best friend’s temple, rubbing his back up and down with both hands as his axe lay on the ground next to his leg, “It’s okay, we’re fine. Y/N took care of him, you’re safe with us. Let’s go, okay? We need to keep moving to avoid situations like this one, hm?”

I heard a sniff as I approached them, crouching down to fetch Mingi’s bow and arrow as he nodded his head, throwing his arms around Yunho’s neck as he gave him a tight squeeze. Yunho chuckled but returned the hug, a warm smile appearing on his face when the two separated. I gulped, feeling uncomfortable at their intimacy, at the ease they showed affection to each other. Even if my body and soul craved closeness to another human being, my mind wouldn’t let me bring the walls built around my heart down, I just couldn’t. It was too late now, softness didn’t get you anywhere in the Arena, only barbarity did.

“Here,” I muttered as Mingi faced me, his body still trembling when his eyes landed on his previously abandoned weapons. He gulped and very slowly reached forward, “I understand that it’s hard, Mingi, but if you let your trauma and fear consume you, you won’t get far in the Games.”

He nodded once and then grabbed his weapons out of my hands, staring at them with a ferocious glare. Yunho grabbed his axe too and then sighed, rubbing his face before he glanced around us, “Let’s head uphill, maybe we find something that we can use as a resource.”

I nodded, letting the two fall in step in front of me as I opted to look out for our backs, making sure we weren’t exposed on either side. My muscles hurt by how tense they were, and my ears were trained well to catch even the slightest shifts, the quietest of sounds. I knew how to survive situations worse than this, but I couldn’t let my guard down, the Games had barely started.

But if there was one thing I was certain of, it was that I couldn’t trust Yunho or Mingi. Finnick was my only ally in these Games and I was going to find him, whether on my own or with the help of two tall men walking in front of me, I didn’t care. I was going home once this was over.

            The first night in the Arena had been silent, uneventful. This was good only because we got a good night’s rest, otherwise, it meant the Gamemakers were planning something big. I couldn’t tell what, not yet at least, but the lightning striking a tree in the distance, far more uphill, managed to raise my suspicions. I couldn’t tell just yet what that was supposed to mean, but I had counted twelve strikes. I had been on the lookout when it happened, preferring to be the first to keep watch as the two men I was with slept soundly, huddled closely together. Before the artificial sun could set, we made a small bonfire to try to warm ourselves up, grilling a frog we had found by the creak. It got really cold by the nighttime, but I preferred my teeth clattering to cozying up with either Yunho or Mingi. I didn’t trust them, not in the least, and I had twirled the hunting knife between my fingers as I watched them sleep, so unassumingly, so easy to kill. But I wouldn’t do it just yet, not until I have found Finnick and we’d figure something out together. The Arena was big and I knew we had little chance of finding each other, but for once in my life I could only pray the odds would be in my favor.

Morning came fast and once we refreshed ourselves by the creak, which was surprisingly lukewarm, we took off once again, headed more uphill. We were looking for a good hiding spot, something we could treat as our base, but we were also just keen on exploring the Arena. It felt like the pine forest was endless, and to someone who didn’t grow up in a District that was surrounded by forests, it must’ve felt like an endless maze of trees that looked the same no matter which way you looked. But to Yunho and I it was rather easy to navigate through its density, the scenery was never the same to us. The occasional fallen log, the change of the bush type, or even the way birds flew overhead were a good tale-tell sign of where we were. Mingi seemed to be at ease too, moving around as if the forest was his second home. I knew District 12 was just by the forest, but I had no idea they could go inside it too. Maybe Mingi was hiding things about himself even towards Yunho, it wouldn’t surprise me.

As the day had dragged on and the temperatures rose once again, our stomachs churned loudly as we were getting tired from endlessly climbing uphill, the pathway slippery due to the small rocks we had to walk on. Yunho had exchanged spots with Mingi, and I was keen on remaining at the back as we trekked around some more trees, avoiding bushes that looked like something was wrong with them. We had only stopped when the sound of a drone caught our attention, the beeping of it high-pitched and loud as if it were a child’s toy. It was headed towards us, more specifically towards Yunho, and it looked like a box—a big box when Yunho caught it, his eyebrows furrowed. We had stopped then and once Yunho had opened it up, our mouths started watering. Someone from the Capitol had sent us breakfast and left us a letter telling us to feast on it as they’d send us some more tomorrow morning as well. Yunho, the ever-lovely person he was, faced a camera and thanked the sender with a bright smile and some sweet words, Mingi and I could barely contain ourselves from ravishing the bagels, cheese, grapes, and slices that looked and tasted like ham.

Once our bellies were full, we were off again hoping to find a cave as we had followed the stream until it started disappearing into an unknown direction. Mingi was at the front of the group leading us, his bow and arrow gripped in his hands as we had finally spotted a cave up-front, right by the pathway. He seemed excited upon our finding and quickened his pace, making Yunho and I run after him as Yunho glanced back to throw me an excited smile. I didn’t react as I fixed my grip on my axe, ready to face other tributes if they were hiding inside the cave that we’d claim as ours soon. But it was dark and silent inside as we reached its opening and Mingi halted, looking back at Yunho and I.

“I’ll go check, wait here.”

“You shouldn’t go alone,” Yunho muttered, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s fine, I won’t go in deep,” Mingi reassured him and then stalked inside, his bow and arrow drawn in case he was forced to use it. With a gulp, I settled back on my heels and looked around, trying to evade Yunho’s burning gaze. He didn’t say anything, but he continued to stare as I tried harder and harder to ignore him. My heart was slowly starting to thump faster in my chest, and I could feel myself starting to sweat from still wearing my jacket over the body-tight suit. Just as Yunho opened his mouth to say something, Mingi’s shriek made us tense up and share a concerned glance, and then Yunho was off before I could even tell him to wait.

“Mingi!” He screamed, running inside the cave with his axe raised. I remained in my spot, my breaths audible as I whipped my head around, looking out for anyone who could be prowling on us. My heartbeat was deafening as I tried to tune in to the sounds of the forest, but the pounding feet coming from inside the cave caught my attention rapidly, and I couldn’t even make out what was happening as Yunho and Mingi’s panicked faces came into view, Yunho’s hand gripping my arm hard as he yanked me after himself, sprinting downhill all of a sudden.

“Run!” Mingi screamed as he took the lead once again, his bow around his shoulder and arrow in its holster, my heart started pounding faster as I twisted my head around, trying to make out what we were running from. Going downhill was certainly easier than uphill, but the small rocky path was tricky as it was slippery and made it harder for us to flee safely. If it weren’t for Yunho’s relenting grip on my bicep, I was sure I would’ve tumbled to the ground already.

“What are we running from?!” I asked as my lungs heaved for air, Yunho and I jumped over a fallen log as Mingi was well in front of us, not looking back even once.

“Snakes!” Yunho screamed, and I felt my whole body shudder, fear gripping my insides. I wasn’t afraid of snakes, but I was afraid of whatever mutants these were, certain to kill us. I gulped and twisted my head around again to try and see the reptilians, which turned out to be my downfall— quite literally.

“Yunho, come on!” I heard Mingi scream before my feet got caught in the vines that slithered across the forest floor and I gasped as my feet were cut from underneath me, Yunho’s grip disappearing as he continued to run while I rolled to the side, curling into myself to try and protect my head as I hit the side of a boulder. I groaned, my back numb as it caught most of my fall, and my axe was somewhere on the ground. I tried to look for it, getting on my knees as I heard the slithering snakes getting closer, their hisses menacing. My heart felt like it was in my throat as I could hear my pulse clearly and loudly in my ears, looking up as the fallen leaves rattled not too far from me.

“Yunho?!” I heard Mingi’s raw voice call out in the distance, laced with panic, “What are you—no!”

I could see my axe from here, a colourful snake was twisting around its handle, hissing as its eyes fell on me. I gritted my teeth and fumbled around for my hunting knife, unlatching it from around my thigh as I gripped it in my hand, staring the snake down. The only problem was that it wasn’t just one snake that was coming after us, it was multiple, a dozen, thousands even as the otherwise silent forest was filled with their hissing. My mouth parted as my breathing got heavier, and my eyes widened when I felt something crawling up my left calf. It only took me one second to realize a snake had gotten to me without me noticing its approach, and an involuntary shriek escaped my mouth as I tried to kick it off. I tried to stay as calm as possible and fight with a level head, but the dread gripping at my insides, whispering that I was going to die, made me panic as I tried to stab the snake, but it dodged my knife each time as if it was intelligent enough to do so.

“Yunho!” Mingi’s desperate shout almost felt like it shook the ground, and I hissed at the snake as another one got too close, trying to stab that one too. It was hard to accept the fact that I would die such a pathetic death, but I bet the Capitol would love it. They were always entertained by whatever the Gamemakers had prepared for us, and I felt my lips tremble as a pathetic whine left my lips when the snake’s body got tighter around my leg, opening its mouth in a menacing snarl. But the pain spreading from of its poison never came as Yunho suddenly appeared from around the trees, slicing snakes in half as he stepped hard on others, his eyes finding mine. He looked terrified once he noticed the snake around my leg, and without consideration for his life, he leapt forward and grabbed the snake with his bare hand, yanking it so hard that it tore its body in two. The snake hissed, but before it could try to do more harm, it was decapitated by Yunho’s axe, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“Fuck, come on!” He snapped, and it helped me quench my terror as I scrambled onto my feet, almost tripping again but this time due to nothing. My whole body was shaking as Yunho’s fingers intertwined with mine, his palm calloused and sweaty as he was breathing hard.

“Yunho?!” Mingi sounded on the verge of hysteria as Yunho and I ran towards the pathway again, and I retrieved my axe quickly, stomping on a snake vengefully before we sprinted down the rocky pathway again. This time I made sure to not glance back even though the snakes were right by our feet, trying to bite at our calves, and Achilles tendon, some even trying to jump and latch onto our torsos.

“Keep running, Mingi!” Yunho screamed back as we could see him now since we were closer to him. He was standing with his bow and arrow drawn back, hands visibly shaking and his eyes red. But once he had spotted us, he took off again, going off the pathway and jumping over bushes.

“Where are we going?!” I panted out, swinging at a snake as it tried jumping at my body from the right side.

“I have no idea,” Yunho answered breathlessly but veered us off the pathway, following Mingi’s lead. Even though he was well ahead of us, Yunho seemed to constantly know his friend’s location, and which way we needed to go to catch up with him. And it seemed like Mingi had stopped running once we reached the small clearing, his calves soaked in the creak.

“Get in!” He was beckoning us over frantically, marching over to the side of the creak when we were finally close enough, and then he grabbed Yunho’s axe and yanked us aggressively inside the water. Yunho slipped and fell to his knees, his axe remaining in Mingi’s grip as Yunho panted, head hanging low. My legs threatened to give out too but I was mostly confused as I looked at Mingi, and then back at the approaching snakes.

“Why did we stop?!” I asked, fear coating my voice, “We’re going to die, I can’t—”

“The snakes won’t come into the water,” Mingi said, his jaw set tight as he looked at the approaching reptilians.

“How do you know?!” I gave him an incredulous look, my attention shifting onto Yunho when he rolled around, sitting on his bum despite getting his suit soaked once again.

“They aren’t water snakes, just—trust me.” Mingi’s deep tone was raw and tense as his eyes remained on the reptilians. I watched too, gripping my axe and ready to kill as many as needed, heart thundering in my chest. But just as one snake tried to get inside the water, it hissed out loudly and retreated, the others following suit. No snake got inside the water, it tried though, but it jumped back as if they were electrocuted by it. I felt all power leave my body as I crumbled to my knees, steadying myself on my hands as my stomach felt like turning upside down, about to empty its contents. Our pants were loud in the small clearing, the water flow calming despite the retreating hisses of the snakes. It was eery to hear them in the distance, and my body shuddered as I remembered it slithering up my leg.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered under my breath, looking up at Mingi and Yunho. Yunho was still sitting, his eyes staring out into nothing as Mingi had moved to sit on a rock, his plump lips swollen and his eyes filled with tears. It made my eyebrows furrow as I tried to calm my body and mind, but it was hard when dread seemed to have taken its residence inside my body, inside my mind. My jaw clenched as I shakily stood again, eyebrows furrowing, “How did you know?”

Mingi and Yunho looked at me, probably surprised by my feeble voice. I hated it, but I ignored it as my glare burned into Mingi’s face. His eyebrows furrowed, but he shrugged, “I guess I just—I’ve heard it somewhere? I just—it just felt like the right thing to do.”

“So, you didn’t know.” I huffed, closing my eyes as my body continued trembling from the lingering adrenaline in my system.

“Yeah, maybe—but we’re alive, we’re—fine.” Mingi’s voice got quiet as my eyes snapped open, fixating on him. I scoffed, snarling at him.

“We’re fine?” I questioned, feeling the heat rise into my cheeks due to anger, “We’re alive?”

“Yeah, we—”

“No,” I hissed, grabbing my axe tightly for stability, to ground myself, “I am alive because Yunho came back, because he saved me. What were you doing, huh, Mingi? Saving yourself, that’s what you were doing, I’ll tell you.”

Mingi gulped, his eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at Yunho briefly, “I was just…trying to find the creak. I knew you’d follow me, I—”

“So much for being a team, huh?” I chuckled but it was humourless, “Is this what you did with Katniss, too?”

Mingi froze, eyes slightly widening as a hurt expression crossed his face. I heard Yunho exhale sharply but I was focused on Mingi, my eyes narrowing as he continued avoiding eye contact. My heart was still racing but for different reasons now, I could hear the gears in my head turn, twisting my thoughts and whispering at me that I was right all along. Mingi and Yunho weren’t my allies, they were my enemies and they were trying to lure me further and further away from other possible tributes that could maybe help me if I needed it. I scoffed, feeling my skin burn underneath my suit.

“Tell me, Mingi, did Katniss really push you into the lake?” I raised my eyebrows, watching as the guy’s eyebrows furrowed some more, “Or did you jump in because you were planning on betraying her at some point, huh?”

“Y/N,” Yunho hissed, abruptly standing up, “stop talking to him like that, what are you even saying? Do you hear yourself right now? How delusional do you sound?”

I chuckled, turning around to face Yunho as Mingi remained unmoving, frozen, dark eyes staring into the water as his hands clenched and unclenched, “Really, now, Yunho? I am delusional? I didn’t even want to team up with you two, you forced me into an alliance with you and Mingi and look where it got us! We both could’ve died out there while Mingi ran for his life! Did you forget what he’s done to his allies in the past—”

“Shut up.” Mingi snapped, standing up from his rock, jaw clenched and eyes ablaze with anger. He was breathing hard and his height was intimidating, looming over my shorter build as he approached me rapidly, “You don’t know shit about why I did that, Y/N. They were going to kill me that night, I heard them talking about it. I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for it to happen!”

I paused, licking my lips as I shook my head in disbelief, “And do you think at some point Yunho and I won’t turn against you? Do you think we won’t try to kill you?”

“We won’t.” Yunho hissed as he came closer too, his cheeks flushed and his expression conveying the simmering rage he must’ve felt underneath his skin. Yunho was rarely angry, but when he was, his voice thundered and his eyes turned sharp, lips pulled back in a snarl that was both frightening and almost comical, “Because I didn’t come here to kill anyone. We are getting out alive, but we have to find the others first.”

My jaw clenched as I looked between the two, shaking my head as I felt disappointment lick at my insides, somehow disheartened by their naivety. We weren’t going home, not all of us would survive, why could they not understand that finally?

“Are you fucking making fun of me, right now?” I said, voice hard as I looked at Yunho, “What games are you two playing, huh?! You’re insane if you think I’ll stay here with the two of you for one more second—”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Yunho hissed, stepping so close I had to crane my neck back to be able to look him in the eyes. My jaw clenched as I felt the axe slip from my fingers and I scoffed, raising my eyebrows tauntingly. The heavy weapon made a splashing sound once it collided with the water, and I could feel Mingi’s anxiety radiating off himself, his eyes watching us carefully, fingers curling around the edge of his hunting knife. I gulped, very aware that I was at a great disadvantage if the two decided to attack me right now, there were few chances I’d make it out alive. But even so, I would fight until my last breath, they couldn’t take me down that easily.

“Mingi is very clearly trying to kill me, why else would he separate me from Finnick? And the fact that you’re standing here and defending your good old buddy just proves to me that you are in on it too, Yunho. You didn’t even let me try and look for Finnick, you just dragged me away.” My heart was beating fast as my voice had started rising. Yunho looked a mixture of hurt and confused as his jaw clenched, not once looking away. I couldn’t see Mingi from my spot, but I could feel his gaze burn into the side of my head, “And the fact that he would’ve left me there for the snakes proves my point that he gives zero shit about me—and maybe about you too, Yunho, because he didn’t even think about coming to help you out. So maybe next time reconsider who your true friends are before making allegiances. If you want to kill me, come at me now.”

“Nobody is trying to kill you—” It was Mingi who spoke, sounding exasperated, “We are a team, I didn’t stop because I didn’t realize you two weren’t following me anymore. And when I finally did, I fucking turned back around and came running to help, but you had already figured it out! Do you think I wanted to separate from Katniss? The only person besides Yunho that I know and trust?! No, I didn’t fucking want to! She pushed me into the lake to save me and I freaking lost sight of her! Do you think I’m not trying to find her? Do you think I want to win these fucking Games again just to be tormented some more and more by Snow, by the memories and all the trauma?! I want to fucking die, Y/N, I hate my life and I hate myself. So killing you is the last thing on my mind, okay?!”

Something broke in my heart at how broken Mingi sounded, the way his tear-filled eyes just spilt down his cheeks, wetting them and making his eyes even redder. He was sniffing as he rubbed at his nose with the sleeve of his jacket, looking hurt and betrayed. I gulped, feeling torn between my own thoughts. I wanted to trust them, I really did, but what if they were just trying to soften me up with sob stories? What if it was all a ploy to get me to trust them, only for them to kill me? I wouldn’t put it past Mingi, and neither Yunho, we were in the Hunger Games after all and it wasn’t about forming bonds and long-lasting relationships, it was about survival, it was about killing until the strongest one was last standing. I shook my head, chewing on my bottom lip as I averted my eyes, looking up at Yunho with conflict, but knowing that I had already made my decision. I couldn’t stay with them, not when I distrusted them so much.

“It makes no sense to turn against each other,” Yunho spoke softly despite the anger still displayed on his features. He gulped and licked his lips, wanting to touch my cheek but he must’ve seen something on my face because he dropped his hand last minute, “Y/N, please just think rationally for a second and trust us. I don’t—I could never harm you, I just—I want all of us to go home and—I don’t know, but don’t do this. We will find both Katniss and Finnick, that’s what I’m trying to do, okay? But it’s hard tracking them down in this forest, we—”

“I’m not going with you anymore.” I cut Yunho’s rambling off, my jaw set tight as I released a sigh, stepping back to put distance between our bodies. Yunho and Mingi looked confused for a second, glancing at each other uncertainly, “And you have harmed me before, Yunho, but it seems like you wiped it all from your memory. It’s sweet really, I wish I could’ve too.”

Yunho’s mouth parted in shock, hand reached out but I raised mine, shaking my head, “I’ll find Finnick on my own, you two find Katniss and play besties with her, I guess. Just don’t—don’t cross my path because I won’t spare you, I can promise you that.”

Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed and he tried to reach for me again but Mingi held his shoulder, his jaw set tight. I grabbed my axe out of the water and took a deep breath, looking at the two for a long second before turning my back to them and rushing away from the creak, down the pathway we had explored earlier today. My jaw was tight and my muscles tense as I kept walking and walking, mind spinning as I concentrated hard to catch even the slightest shift around myself.

I had to put distance between myself and the other two, otherwise it wouldn’t be safe.

            Three days had passed since I left Yunho and Mingi behind. I had no success finding Finnick thus far and being alone in the Arena was getting to me. I couldn’t sleep as nobody had my back while I did so, hunting was slightly harder as it took more time than with others to help, and I also had to be constantly on the lookout for the traps the Gamemakers would send my way. I was struggling, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel more relaxed on my own than I did with Yunho and Mingi by my side. I couldn’t trust them and it was driving me crazy. Yunho was supposed to be the last one to keep watch but he had accidentally fallen asleep, leaving us defenceless. He was incompetent and I could put my life into the hands of a person who couldn’t as much as stay awake to make sure no one killed us in our sleep. Alone, without anyone to keep watch, I couldn’t exactly sleep, but I had fallen into a light slumber more than once. Climbing the trees to shelter myself from others for the night seemed like a reasonable thing to do, having learned it from Katniss as she had done the same last year in her Games.

The small fire I managed to conjure up by the spot I had claimed as my campsite was small and it crackled as I had waited for the frog to grill so that I could have dinner. Walking away from Yunho and Mingi also meant no support from the Capitol, and I wasn’t surprised when nobody sent me any gifts, not even a soothing balm after I had accidentally fallen into poison ivy. My skin was itchy and I tried to stop myself from scratching it raw, but it was hard when I had nothing to do but stay attuned to the sounds of the forests and watch out for anything that seemed misplaced. Yesterday, I was forced to kill two more tributes when they tried to take over my campsite, taunting me and laughing in my face, until I had decapitated the male tribute with just two swings. The two were the siblings from District 1, the Capitol’s most beloved victors after Finnick Odair, of course. It didn’t surprise me that nobody sent me gifts, given that I had just killed two people they seemed to really love. Without dwelling too much on what was already done, I continued searching for Finnick.

The forest felt huge and never-ending, and it felt like we were on different ends of Panem despite being enclosed inside a limited space. I was doing what I had been doing for the past three days when I suddenly heard leaves rustling behind me. I didn’t pause nor walk faster, I continued as if I hadn’t heard anything, trying to see if someone was following me—or something—or whether it was just the breeze that would blow through the Arena at times. I had opted not to go uphill anymore as I had a suspicion that Yunho and Mingi would continue searching for another cave to claim as theirs, unless it was infested with poisonous snakes once again. I gripped my axe tighter as I heard twigs snapping to my left, just behind some bushes. My steps halted and my head turned to look towards where the sound came from. I didn’t move, I didn’t breathe as my eyes bore into the trunk of a tree, narrowing when I saw something shift. I gulped and squared my shoulders back, ready to fight another tribute if needed. To be fair, I preferred the tributes over whatever mutants the Gamemakers had prepared for us, they were easier to kill and predictable, unlike the animals that shouldn’t even exist.

I took a step towards where the noise came from, but another twig snapped just behind me, making me whirl around. I couldn’t panic right now or else I’d lose my cool and make mistakes, which weren’t affordable here, especially since I was completely on my own. I gulped and narrowed my eyes, listening closely to the quietest of shifts, my eyes widening when I saw a head duck back behind the tree to my right. Was I surrounded? Who were these people? Did Yunho and Mingi find me? Did they have another ally to replace me?

I gulped, raising my axe to my chest as my jaw clenched, eyes trained on the tree where someone was hiding behind. But when I felt someone move past behind me, I was forced to whirl around and hurl my axe at—nothing. My heart was beating fast in my chest as my eyebrows furrowed, muscles tense as my axe fell to the forest floor, whoever passed behind me faster than my axe. I gulped and swiftly ran to get my axe, but paused just as my fingertips were about to reach it. Someone was breathing heavily to my right, behind a large tree, and with shaky fingers I grabbed the axe and stood up straight, pulling my arm back to swing it at whoever was taunting me.

“Come out!” I screamed, my jaw clenched as I firmly planted my feet on the ground. My chest fell and rose quickly as my eyes narrowed when I saw movement from behind the tree again.

“Y/N?” And just like that, I froze. My muscles didn’t turn more tense, instead, it felt like my whole body was a puddle as my mouth fell open, and my heart almost stopped in my chest, “I’m scared.”

I gasped loudly, my axe slipping from my grasp as my knees shook, mind reeling in disbelief. This couldn’t be happening, she—my little sister was dead. But her fragile voice called out again, shaking with fear, and I didn’t think as I sprinted towards the tree, desperate to catch a glimpse of her. How was she here? Had President Snow tricked me into believing my family was dead? I had never seen their bodies, after all, only their headstones upon my arrival to District 7, and I felt like fainting the more I thought about them being alive all this time.

“Ye-Yena?” My voice cracked as my fingers trembled just as I was about to round the tree. But my little sister whispered again, from a different spot this time, and I turned towards her voice again, hurrying over, “Where are you, Yena, please come out!”

My voice was breathy as tears obscured my vision, and I was on the verge of hysteria as I tried to find her, but she was always in some other spot, “Yena!”

I was panting from both adrenaline and fear as I tried to grab after my sister when she dashed from behind another tree, crying out in frustration. But I froze when a tall frame materialized in front of me, eyes dark and sharp, a contrast to Yena’s soft features.

“Jaebom?” My older brother didn’t move nor say anything as we stared into each other’s eyes, the first tears spilling down my cheeks as I sprung forward helplessly, my arms circling his torso, which was cold to the touch, “Jaebom, what’s happening?!”

But he didn’t answer me as more tears streamed down my cheeks, fingers grabbing onto his t-shirt tightly, shaking his unmoving body when he remained unresponsive, “Jaebom!”

And then, I heard a sinister cackle come from behind Jaebom, eerily similar to Yena’s childlike giggles. I untangled myself from Jaebom and looked past his shoulders, eyes widening when I saw Yena twirl my axe around in her hands as if it were made out of plastic. Her face looked ashen as she smirked, pouting her lips at me mockingly as my eyes shook. Her expression looked nothing like my little sister's. I didn’t understand what was happening anymore. Why were my siblings here, and why were they acting unlike themselves?

“Look at you,” Yena’s voice wasn’t light anymore, instead it was an angry snarl, “Living your happy life, rubbing it in our faces right now. What are you crying for, huh? Are you crying because you have to kill people again, like you’ve killed us?”

“What?” I whispered in confusion, flinching when Jaebom suddenly grabbed my bicep, his touch hot and burning, “I don’t understand—”

“You never do,” Jaebom snapped, and I whined as he started gripping my bicep painfully, “You always thought you were better than all of us, look where that got you. You’re just a pathetic excuse of a human being, everyone is ashamed of you. Mom and dad think you should’ve died instead of us, and now, you will die!”

In my confusion, too focused on the ache in my heart, I almost missed the huge knife Jaebom grabbed out of his belt, aiming it towards my heart. I gasped and punched him in the jaw, jumping away from him, “What are you doing—”

“Die, bitch.” Yena hissed as she took off towards me, making me scream in fright when she tried to lodge my own axe into my body. I was panting as I realized my siblings were trying to kill me, and without wasting another second, I pushed Yena to the ground and took off in a sprint, running away mindlessly as I could hear them pursuing me. My heart was beating like crazy in my chest as my siblings made weird noises, they were almost howling, and they sounded like animals. I couldn’t look back, too afraid that I’d lose my footing again, so I was forced to blindly run from them, making sharp twists and turns in hopes of losing them. But my worst nightmare seemed to materialize in front of me, as suddenly, I started seeing my mother's and father’s faces from behind trees, peeking at me with sinister smiles on their faces, cackling loudly as Jaebom hurled his long knife at me. I was lucky enough to take a right turn as he did so, the knife lodging itself into a tree as I gasped, eyes filling with tears again.

“Why are you doing this?!” I screamed as something suddenly burned my arm, and as I looked to my right, I was horrified to see my mother running alongside me, her hand burning into my arm as she had a wicked smile on her lips, “Stop!”

“You’re coming with us this time, daughter.” It was my father who was suddenly standing by the creak, holding a sword in both of his hands as I tried to steer clear of his path, but my mother’s grip was unnaturally strong and she kept dragging me towards it. I screamed and trashed around, feeling suffocated as my mother continued to cackle, my father’s eyes filled with hatred as he angled his sword so that he could gut me alive. I was a sobbing mess as I struggled to free myself, trashing around, and even trying to punch my mother but nothing seemed to work. I could feel Jaebom looming over me from behind, the heel of my own axe pressing into my back as I cried harder, whimpering when Yena appeared next to my father, twirling a knife in her hands.

“Poor Y/N.” Her voice dropped low, almost as if it was a man talking, and it made me realize that whatever was happening right now wasn’t real. It was something created by the Arena, it wasn’t their ghosts nor their vengeful spirits here to take me away, and yet, I still couldn’t fight my mother’s grip off as I clawed at her hand, biting her cold flesh in hopes that she’d release me.

“Let me go!” I screamed again, twisting my body away when my father’s sword came dangerously close, Jaebom’s burning grip tight on my nape as he angled my body to be strung on the sword, “No!”

I didn’t want to die, not like this. I was shaking from head to toe as I tried one last time to get out of the grip of my mother and brother, but nothing was working as I felt the tip of the sword press against my belly. The four cackled loudly as my ears rang, and I gasped when the sword pressed deeper into my tummy, drawing blood, but all the external pain disappeared abruptly as I felt my body pushed to the side aggressively, wrenching me out of the tight grips of the mutants that posed as my family. I screamed again when I felt hands on my shoulders trying to turn me around, and I drew my fists back, the only thought in my mind being to harm anyone who touched me.

“Y/N!” Despite being so lost in my mind, I registered the familiar ring of the voice, the panic and fear in them as I threw the first punch, breathing hard and loudly as if I were a rabid dog. I wouldn’t fall victim to the Capitol, not like this, they couldn’t kill me by using mutants. I couldn’t give Snow the satisfaction, I had to fight until my last breath, until a tribute killed me. I couldn’t go like this, I wasn’t ready. I was scared. I was alone and nobody would be there with me when I took my last breath, nobody would reassure me that it would be okay, and nobody would smile at me for the last time. I would be alone, and that thought alone was scarier than the fact that I would be dying. So I didn’t stop as I screamed and punched blindly, my sight hazy and my mind a jumbled mess as someone continued calling out my name like a mantra, the sounds around me slowly registering inside my brain, “Y/N! Please, please, it’s us. Y/N, it’s Finnick.”

I gasped, my eyes widening as if I was seeing for the first time. My lungs burned, my muscles ached, and my heart was beating so fast I was having palpitations as suddenly I could see the person standing in front of me, his face pained as tears streaked down his rosy cheeks. He had me in a deathly grip, my biceps sore from it, but it wasn’t to harm me, it was to stop me from doing anything to myself or him, to the others, “Finnick?”

A beat of silence passed as I stared into chocolate-warm eyes, so utterly confused and pent. Then, an arrow wheezed past my head and I jumped with a gasp, wide eyes falling onto the body of my brother, no blood flowing out of his body as he crumbled to the ground. He looked lifeless as he turned into nothing and I felt my bottom lip starting to quiver as I looked back at the person holding me. I had no fight left in me as I attempted to push them off of me, but I was tackled to the ground before I could make another move. The wind was knocked from my lungs as my head thumped painfully, eyes hazy as a weight settled on top of my body, pinning my hips to the cold forest floor, hands above my head as long, cold, fingers intertwined with mine.

“It’s not real.” The man holding me down whispered, his voice shaky as he gulped, “They weren’t real, Y/N. But I am real, I’m here now.”

“Yun-Yunho?” I stuttered, my throat hoarse from having screamed so much. I felt a fresh wave of tears spring into my eyes as Yunho’s filled with tears too, and without thinking, I untangled our fingers and threw my arms around his neck, yanking him down into a tight hug, “Yunho.”

My whole body shook as sobs wracked it, tears wetting Yunho’s jacket’s collar as his warm body slowly melted into mine, offering me the warmth I had been craving so much all this time. His musky scent was comforting and felt like home as I buried my head into his neck, inhaling until my lungs burned and I had to exhale once again. Yunho was safe, he was the pillar I needed all this time unknowingly, he was the one to chase the darkness away and protect me from my own dark and twisted mind. I only cried harder when Yunho started shushing me, pressing kisses against my temple, rubbing my back once he sat back and brought me with himself, letting me settle in his lap as I clung to him. I had been terrified these past three days, scared for my own life, but also wondering whether Yunho had made it past another day every time the canon shattered the quietness of the Arena.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, voice raw as I gulped, hoping it would help, “Yunho, I’m—I—”

“Shh, it’s alright.” Yunho whispered, gently prying my tight grip off himself as he pushed me back to gaze into my eyes, “I’m not letting you out of my sight ever again, Y/N, I don’t care what you say—”

“Please don’t leave me, Yunho.” I gasped, words tumbling past my lips before I could stop them, “I can’t live without you, Yunho.”

I was vulnerable, I wasn’t in the right headspace, but I knew my confession was true. I had always suspected it, but I was too afraid to admit it to myself. I was afraid President Snow would kill Yunho like he had killed my family. I didn’t want him around because I was scared to love again, to offer my heart to someone who could crush it so easily both with words and actions. Yunho knew me best and vice versa, I couldn’t live another day not knowing whether he was safe or not. I didn’t want him out of my sight ever again, I just couldn’t lose him too.

“I’m—” Yunho gulped, his voice deep as his eyes shook, jaw clenched tightly, “here.”

I released a shaky breath and leaned forward, pressing our foreheads together, feeling the safest in the past three days. The rustling of leaves made me tense up again and my head whipped around, eyes widening when I realized multiple people were watching us. I felt my cheeks heat up as I tried to scramble out of Yunho’s lap, but his fingers only tightened into the fabric of my jacket and he held my waist tightly, shaking his head at me when I gave him a sharp look. It seemed like he wouldn’t let go of me anytime soon, so I was forced to swallow my shame as I looked back at the other tributes, who seemed to be looking at me with pity. I ignored it, it made me feel weak.

“Those things are vile,” Mingi muttered, his jaw clenched, “But you should be fine the next time you see them if you ignore them.”

“And if you don’t, don’t let them grab you.” Katniss said, her tone harsh but features soft, “Kill them before they can.”

I nodded, eyes falling on the male tribute from District 3, Beetee. He wasn’t looking at me, his eyes trained on the sky as he muttered something to himself, apparently unphased by the whole ordeal. However, when my eyes landed on the fourth person, my heart skipped a beat, and even if Yunho didn’t want to release me, I pried myself out of his arms and ran to Finnick, jumping into his arms as he laughed while twirling me around.

“Finnick.” I whispered into his neck as his laughter subsided into a chuckle, his smile bright as ever as I pulled back, gazing into his beautiful blue eyes, “I found you.”

“Technically, I found you.” Cheeky as ever, he winked before he pressed a wet kiss against my forehead, lowering me back onto the ground. Our fingers intertwined as I couldn’t help but beam at him, my heart still heavy due to everything that’s happened though, “I’m glad you’re fine.”

“Well, I’ve been better.” I muttered as Finnick and I chuckled, swinging around hands as I glanced around, eyebrows furrowing, “Where’s…Mags?”

Finnick’s expression fell and I knew as I felt tears flood my eyes once again. A shaky breath left his lips as I pressed on my tiptoes to pull him into a tight and warm hug, rubbing his back as he hugged me back just as tightly, “I’m sorry, Finnick.”

“She’s in a better place now,” Finnick whispered, sniffing when we pulled apart, his eyes trained on the ground. My jaw clenched but I knew I couldn’t do anything now, just carry the grief with myself and bury it deep down until the Games would be over. Katniss, looking like she wasn’t keen on all the affection, averted her eyes and looked around the forest, pointing towards the creak.

“We should probably set camp here after we have scoped the area out.” Mingi nodded as he went and helped Yunho stand, his eyes trained on Finnick and me. I gulped and only looked away, body tense. I didn’t want to talk to him, I had nothing else to say, not now. I couldn’t believe I had admitted something so personal, something that was supposed to be buried deep down in my heart and mind. I wasn’t ready to face the fact that without Yunho I would be nowhere right now.

“Let’s go.” Yunho sighed, taking the lead with Katniss as I remained glued to Finnick’s side, eager to catch up with him if it meant I could ignore Yunho and his burning stare. I was most certainly grateful that he had saved me, but he was still not someone I could fully trust. Maybe it was all a ploy, an act to earn my trust, only to backstab me later into the Games.

My only true ally was Finnick.

            Something felt different, weird, almost. Beetee was a genius, everyone already knew that, and yet the way his mind works still amazed me. Apparently, the lightning that struck the largest tree in the Arena each time at midnight, could be used to our advantage. Beetee had the resources to create a sort of electrical fire that would leave the Gamemakers no choice but to rescue the remaining victors if they didn’t want the Capitol to riot for not having a victor for the 75th Hunger Games. President Snow wanted a year of epic games? Beetee was right here to deliver and I was more than willing to help him out. Everyone from our small group was in on his plan, and we were planning to strike tonight as everyone remained unassuming about our great plan. There was something else, however, that nobody was telling me about. Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire, The Mockingjay, seemed to be the nucleus of it all. She had to be protected at all costs and she was supposed to remain on Beetee’s side as long as someone who could fight remained with them. We had to look out for each other and remain close, but I didn’t fully understand why protecting Katniss seemed to be our most important mission.

Nobody tried clearing up my confusion, and when Finnick reassured me that everything would be alright and that he’d have my back no matter what, I decided to stop asking or wondering. Two days had passed since I joined the small group and things had been quiet—a bit too quiet. Nobody had died in the past two days and there was a simmering tension in the Arena, as if the Gamemakers knew we were about to ruin their so-called ‘perfect’ Games. There was nothing perfect about it, it was purely terrifying and torturous, a barbaric form of entertainment as this just proved that the Capitol didn’t see the people from the districts as human beings. That was nothing new, but being forced back into the Arena made me realize once again that I couldn’t let President Snow control me anymore, I was done playing his games.

I wanted the Capitol to burn, I wanted President Snow to die and suffer like so many of us had under his reign. He could’ve been a better president, a better person, but he chose violence, he chose to punish us for something that we, the ones born after the revolution, had nothing to do with. The cycle of life wasn’t always fair, the trauma parents carried with themselves would pass onto their children, who would carry it with them for generations—unless there was just one person who decided to put an end to it. To change, to prosper, to start a new cycle.

That new cycle started with us, with Katniss, Mingi, Yunho, Finnick, Beetee, and me, here, in the Arena, as a form of riot against the oppression we were forced to endure, the pain and grief buried deep in our souls. I have heard about the riots, people in District 7 were loud and proud about taking the Capitol down if given a chance, and it only took me two days to realize why it was only happening now. A spark had been sensed, turning into a catching fire that would reach us all, either burn us or help us return from the ashes as a new person, as a new nation. The pain and anguish would never be forgotten, instead celebrated and honoured in respect to those who have lost their lives to such atrocities. And we would all thank one girl, Katniss Everdeen, who unknowingly gave the nation the spark of hope they desperately needed. I had no idea whether I’d survive whatever was about to go down tonight, but I was sure of one thing, I wouldn’t regret it. Not now, not tomorrow. I was doing it for myself, for my siblings, for my parents, and for everyone else who has suffered as much, or more, than I have. If Panem had to burn, President Snow would burn with us.

The morning passed by in the blink of an eye as we went over our plan once again, assigning partners and positions. I was supposed to stay with Katniss and Beetee, close to Finnick who’d be watching Mingi from afar. Yunho, who refused to separate from me at first, was supposed to go with Mingi until a certain point, and then he’d have to secure the area, map it out and alert us if anything seemed amiss. He’d be the last one, the one furthest from me, and despite the unsettling feeling creeping deep in my guts, I ignored my anxiety and focused on my task at hand. I had to protect Katniss and Beetee if anything were to happen. I was strong and merciless, everyone knew I could handle myself, but if I needed help somehow, then Katniss would be there and even Mingi. They weren’t people I trusted, but something told me nobody in our small group was out there to kill me…not yet, at least, and I could live with that for the time being.

Knowing that we’d need to be at our best, Finnick, Katniss, and Yunho went out to hunt something for lunch so that our bellies would be full for the rest of the day. Because Yunho and Finnick were so liked by many, thankfully we were also provided with various canned foods from the Capitol, their fans were desperately sending in supplies, and letters too, confessing their love and dread that they might not return. It made me chuckle whenever one of them had to read the letters out loud, looking at a camera with a sad, but grateful, expression in order to keep up the façade. We really needed these provisions, they couldn’t ruin their A-game just now. Finnick had returned with plenty of fish from the lake, meanwhile, Katniss and Yunho had opted to hunt for wild ducks and frogs. The meat had been cooked by Mingi and me while Beetee revised the plan over and over again, asking us questions to make sure that we had memorized what we were supposed to do.

Once the food was done and everyone settled down for lunch, the tense air surrounding us seemed to dissipate as we silently ate our meal, relishing in the comradery that’s formed between us. Finnick was by my side as we sat leaning against a tree, sharing a loaf of bread he had gotten from a fan, as he preferred to eat the fish he caught while I continued to eat the frog Yunho had caught for us. Mingi, very surprisingly, had gotten a package filled with nutrients that we hadn’t even heard of before, and while we were wary of consuming them, Beetee reassured us that he knew what these were and that they were safe for consumption as they used the same nutrients in District 3. As my stomach was finally full and I finished eating everything I had claimed, I continued sitting next to Finnick, leaning against his body.

He was warm and smelled like the ocean despite having been away from it for so long, and I had always found solace in the silence that felt comfortable between us. Finnick knew when not to push someone, and I knew when to speak up to cut through the tranquillity, “Do you think we’ll survive this?”

“Yes,” Finnick’s voice was a mere whisper as he scoped up a good chunk of meat and handed it over to me, “I must, for Annie. She lost Mags, I can’t let her lose me too.”

I gulped, all too aware of Annie’s situation as I accepted the fish despite feeling full. It tasted salty almost, so very different from the frog meat, but I think I could get used to it after having it for more meals.

“I have no one to return to,” I muttered under my breath, bringing my knees up to my chest as I let my arms circle them. I gulped, looking down at the dirty ground as the sounds of the other’s conversing became background noise, my mind preoccupied with thoughts of dying, of being alone, of never having been enough.

“That’s simply not true.” Finnick’s voice sounded strained as I felt him shift, gorgeous blue eyes boring into the side of my head, “You have me, and if I make it out alive, I can’t lose you. You’re just as important to me as Annie is, as Mags was. I never had a little sister, but thanks to you I know what it means to have one.”

I chuckled, turning my head so my cheek pressed against my knees, eyes falling on the frown on Finnick’s face, “Technically, I’m older than you. But I understand you, you’re, well, you’ve always been like a brother to me. And I love you, Finnick, I hope you know that. I have no idea what the outcome of our plan will be, but if we both make it out alive, I want to visit District 4. I want to meet Annie and maybe—maybe I’d like living in a house next to yours, maybe I’d like to see the ocean for real and not just through pictures.”

Finnick’s features softened as he placed his palm over my cheek, warm and calloused, offering me much-needed assurance, “I’d love that, and Annie would too. She has always wanted to meet you, but President Snow never allowed it. Which is for the better, honestly, I would’ve hated the thought of Annie at the Capitol. I fear I would’ve done something unforgivable.”

I hummed and nodded as Finnick’s warm palm fell from my face, his head turning as he gazed ahead. He sniffed and then cleared his throat, glancing at me for a brief moment, “But you’re not alone, Y/N. Even if I’m not there, you’re never alone. He’s—Yunho is always there, even when you don’t see it, Y/N. I think—I think you should let him in, he’s not a bad man.”

I gulped, stomach dropping at the mention of Yunho, and I sighed as I sat up straight again, jaw clenching when I averted my eyes from Finnick’s. Just to my luck, however, I spotted Yunho sitting not too far from us. Mingi was sharpening the axe for him as Yunho’s chocolate brown eyes were fixed on Finnick and me, his eyebrows deeply set and his jaw tense. I gulped and then averted my eyes once again, shaking my head with a huff, “He doesn’t know me, not the real me, at least. He only wants the good and pretty, he only sees those qualities in people. Once the perfect image is shattered, he’ll be gone, he’ll abandon me. I don’t want him to lodge himself into my heart when I know just how quickly you can lose someone.”

“You’re scared of loving him,” Finnick’s tone was full of compassion as I felt him look at me, Yunho’s gaze still burning into the side of my head as I gazed off into the distance, feeling nervous all of a sudden, “And you’re drowning in guilt and unspoken questions and feelings, Y/N. I know you don’t trust him, but you already love him, you just refuse to acknowledge the fact, and it’s doing you no good, trust me. I’m afraid too that I’ll lose Annie, I’m terrified of Snow snatching her away from me, but if I refuse to love and live the life I want, then that would mean I am letting Snow dictate my everything, it would mean that I am robbing myself of the pleasures of life. And you know Yunho would never do anything that you are uncomfortable with, no, he’d bring down the stars for you if he could, Y/N. Stop being foolish and—”

“Excuse me.” My body grew rigid as Yunho’s stern voice interrupted Finnick’s heartfelt speech, “Do you mind if I talk to Y/N?”

“Not at all.” Finnick’s smile was friendly as he nudged me, making me clench my jaw as I glanced at Yunho. He stood in front of me, looking down at me with a glare, rather standoffish for a person who was always smiling, happy and oh-so bright. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow.

“Well, talk if you—”

“In private.” Yunho snapped, and before I could react, his firm grip around my bicep was pulling me up to my feet, not even letting me argue as I was tugged away from our camp, but not too far so that we’d be in hearing range if anything were to happen to either them or to us. I pulled my arm out of his grip and glared at him, feeling nervous for no reason as Yunho continued to glare back at me. It was unusual, out of character for him.

“What’s your problem with me?” I did not expect that question, and neither what he said next, “What’s so fucking horrible about me that you go willingly into the arms of the biggest playboy known to Panem, that you find solace and trust in that man when I’ve always been by your side, there for you, offering you a shoulder to lean on, a man you can trust and—and love. What does Finnick have that I don’t, Y/N?! Why do you continuously brush me off and treat me like shit, but then you laugh at anything Finnick says and you look at him with so much adoration, I-I just don’t understand, Y/N. I was there, I was always there, I helped you when you saw no outcome, I was there when you grieved your family, I was there when you struggled with the consequences of winning the Games, I was there even when you continued to push me away! I never stopped trying to make you feel safe, to comfort you and to—show you that it’s okay to open up and that you can love again without being scared of death. Why can’t you just—give back even just a little fraction of my affection?!”

To say that I was stunned was understandable. My face fell in shock and my mouth hung open as Yunho became erratic, his expression a mixture of frustration and helplessness as his eyes shook, his hands curled into fists. I gulped, letting his words settle so that I could answer, but I felt utterly speechless. How was I supposed to respond to something that felt like a confession but a complete scolding as well?

“You don’t understand me like Finnick does,” I gulped, licking my lips as Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed, “And you never will, Yunho, because you were never forced to sell your body unwillingly to men that only saw you as a piece of meat. Physical closeness, intimacy—it scares me because I’ve only suffered from it. I’ve never felt the loving touch of a man, no loving words were ever uttered to me, and I was told more often than not that I didn’t deserve love, that I was too rough and scary, too intimidating and manly for a man to love me despite being beautiful. Finnick, he knows what it feels like to be used, to do things you don’t want to out of fear of losing someone. And even if this wasn’t the issue, Yunho, how could I trust you when you’ve tried to kill me?”

“What?” Yunho seemed shaken, his voice breathy as he reached out just to let his hand drop before he could grip my wrist, “What are you talking about—I have never tried to kill you, why would I—”

“Seriously?” I snapped, sudden anger flaring deep in my bones, “You’re still going to act clueless when I call you out on it? Think, Yunho, think for one second for fucks sake! You were supposed to be my mentor, the person that looks out for me, that protects me and helps me win these fucking Games, yet you send in food that’s poisoned?!”

Yunho looked like he had no idea what I was talking about and I scoffed, stepping closer to him as my jaw clenched, “District 6, the female tribute, I was cornered three days before my Games came to an end, and I was hungry. You sent me a package but I couldn’t reach it and it landed between the tributes that were hounding me. The girl decided to eat what was sent for me—she died in four minutes, Yunho.”

And just then, recognition finally flashed in Yunho’s eyes, but it didn’t last for long as suddenly he seemed to look desperate, grabbing my wrists as he shook his head, “It wasn’t food, it was never food, Y/N. If you had seen the small letter, you would’ve known it was poison from the get-go. It said, ‘sweet like honey’, and you know what we use that for in District 7, you would’ve known. I was trying to help you, I knew you’d survive, I was never trying to kill, why would I—I’m in love with you, Y/N. I wasn’t back then yet, but I-I knew I couldn’t watch you die in that Arena.”

My mind was reeling. I gulped, suddenly feeling my lungs constrict as Yunho’s grip felt like it was burning my wrists. I pried them away and took a step back, gulping as my hands started shaking. I have been living in a lie this whole time. I have made myself believe that Yunho was the enemy, that Yunho wanted me gone. I took a shaky breath and gulped again, watching as sadness spread over Yunho’s features like wildfire. His features softened as I felt my heart ache more, disbelief written all over my face. Why had I been so stupid? Why did I let Snow make me believe anything he said?

Why was I so afraid to lose Yunho?

            Nightfall came sooner than before. The tension was back and I felt sick to my stomach. Something felt wrong the longer we trekked, the closer we came to the tree. Everyone was silent, focused on our surroundings and making sure we weren’t being followed by any other tributes. But something was very wrong and I just couldn’t ignore the feeling anymore as I released a shaky breath, my eyes settling on Yunho who was walking in front of me with Mingi by his side, huddled closely together as they conversed quietly. Finnick’s pinkie was laced with mine as he swung our hands between our bodies, I ignored his playful smile when he pretended to stumble on a rock. I needed to speak to Yunho, nothing made sense anymore. I haven’t said anything since he told me he never tried killing me, and Yunho was keen on offering me space as he remained by Mingi’s side, occasionally giving me a soft smile if he noticed me looking his way.

Bothered by the incessant tension in my body, the gut feeling that something would go very wrong, I marched forward and grabbed Yunho’s wrist, making him halt in surprise. Finnick glanced at us as he passed by us and then grabbed Mingi’s shoulder when he stopped to wait for us, whispering something to the taller one before Mingi walked with Finnick again. My heart was thundering in my chest as I gulped, my eyes boring into Yunho’s as it was dark in the arena, yet his chocolate brown eyes were unmistakable.

“Are you okay?” Yunho asked with a gentle tone, letting his axe drop to the ground as he stepped closer, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“No.” I gulped, tone shaky as I glanced past Yunho, at the others who hadn’t noticed our absence yet, “Something is wrong, Yunho, I don’t have a good feeling about this. What—what if we die? Yet worse, what if the Capitol captures us and we—we never see each other again? Yunho, I—I don’t want to do this. Let’s find another way, let’s run away, let’s—”

“Y/N.” Yunho's smile was gentle as he stepped even closer, cupping my cheek with his big palm, leaning slightly down, “We can’t run away, and it’s completely normal to be scared of the unknown. I’m nervous too, but remember, we are doing this to make a statement, to show them that they can’t mess with us anymore. If Katniss manages to pull this off, we’ll be free. We’ll go home and we…we’ll see what happens next, okay?”

No, he didn’t understand. We wouldn’t go home, something just didn’t feel right. It was too dangerous, too risky, what were the odds our plan would be successful when there were other tributes still in the Arena with us?

“It just doesn’t feel right.”

“But we’re doing the right thing.”

I exhaled, jaw tense as I looked up into Yunho’s eyes, stepping closer until our chests were almost brushing together, “Then don’t let them separate us.”

“What?” Yunho’s eyebrows furrowed, his gulp audible as his fingers flexed around my wrist. I released a shaky breath and licked my lips, hesitant to touch Yunho, but I managed to grab the side of his neck, his skin soft and warm to the touch.

“Yunho, I’m asking you to stay by my side no matter what happens.” My tone was firm as he gulped, his eyes searching my face, “I can’t—I’ve been afraid, all this fucking time unknowingly, of losing you. And when we are so close to being free, of exploring whatever could be between us, I—I’m scared that Snow will find a way to snatch you away from me, so please, don’t let go of me. Don’t let me out of your sight, don’t walk away, I know I’m a horrible person, but I’m asking you to hold on just a little more and—”

“Y/N.” Yunho’s sharp tone cut my rambling off, and I gulped, on the verge of tears as I realized just how afraid I was. He didn’t say anything else as our eyes bore into each other’s, he just gulped, jaw clenched and then, he started leaning down, closer and closer, until—our lips touched.

And I don’t think I have felt euphoria like this one in my whole life before. The sounds around us seemed to become mute as my legs felt weak, my body melting into Yunho’s as I didn’t waste any more seconds and pressed up on my tiptoes, circling my arms around his shoulders to pull him incredibly close. Yunho’s lips were warm and soft despite our circumstances and I felt a shudder rake my body when his hand slowly slipped into my hair, holding the back of my head firmly as we parted for a second. His other hand grabbed my waist and as my eyes opened, I realized I wanted this. I wanted Yunho to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me. I wanted to be in his embrace and I wanted to feel his scent on me, I wanted his warmth to envelope my body, and I wanted him to shield me from this cruel world forever. Words that were heavy threatened to tumble past my lips, so instead, I closed the gap again and this time I made sure my intentions weren’t questionable, or hesitant, but full of passion and unspoken words.

Yunho was intense in everything he did, he laughed with his whole body, and he loved with his whole heart, whenever he did something, he put his all into it and his kiss was no different. His lips were demanding as they moved against mine, a little bit frantic as we were pressed by time, and even more desperate when I let my lips part for him, a silent request for him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to know that I desired him, that it was completely fine to touch me and enjoy our actions. Yunho whimpered as he took my bottom lip between his teeth, and I felt warmth crawl all over my body, settling in my cheeks as my whole face felt like it was burning up. I had never enjoyed a kiss before in my life, but I prayed this would never end. When Yunho’s tongue finally slipped past my lips and reached my own tongue, I wished there was something to support my weight, to ground me into reality as I lost all senses, body and mind alive in a way I had never experienced before. It was careful, but it was intense and demanding, yet I didn’t feel pressured nor disgusted as saliva pooled in the corner of my mouth, fingers tangling into Yunho’s hair at his nape.

As his tongue played with mine and Yunho’s loud puffs of air hit my face, I moaned, unable to keep the sound down when I felt his fingers digging through my tight suit, fingernails leaving dents in my body. I wanted him to mark me up, I wanted him to show the whole Capitol that I was his, that no trashy man could ever again touch me, that President Snow couldn’t do to us anything anymore because we’d always have each other’s backs. I wanted Yunho’s mouth on mine for an eternity, never growing tired of him and his passionate kisses. Our noses bumped together when I tilted my head slightly more, giving Yunho more access as my heart thundered in my chest, so powerful that I could hear it in my ears. It was consuming, Yunho’s love was scary as it swallowed me whole, but I was greedy and I needed more. I had been a fool, such a fool, to deny us this feeling, this moment, this experience. It was too late to go further, even if I threw all dignity away, I knew we couldn’t, but I hoped it wasn’t too late for us. For us to have this in the future, to love and to be loved.

I gasped as we parted again. Yunho was loudly panting as his eyebrows furrowed, cupping my cheeks with both hands as his fingers dug into my skin painfully. A shuddered breath left my lips as I blinked my eyes open, gulping as I copied him, holding his cheeks tenderly as Yunho’s bottom lip quivered, nuzzling his cheek against my hold. He looked at peace, but the furrow of his eyebrows told me that he wasn’t satisfied, that he was bothered by something. In a hopeless attempt to offer him just a fraction of the comfort he’d given me throughout the years, I pressed a kiss to each eye, then to his nose, and a swift peck to his lips. It made Yunho smile as his eyes opened, shining in the dark affectionately as I felt a lump in my throat. It was scary to allow him in, but I was done hiding, I was done fearing the unknown.

“When we’re out of here,” Yunho gulped, determined as his eyes melted into mine, “I’m going to marry you.”

I would’ve gasped if I could’ve, but I was too stunned to even react as he kissed me again before we heard Mingi call out our names. We didn’t have time for this right now, but we’d have plenty in the future. I wasn’t ready to marry Yunho just yet, but with time, I was sure I’d be able to fully trust him, to give my all to him.

“Just don’t let me go,” I whispered as Yunho very reluctantly released me, our hands finding each other as our fingers intertwined, a motion I was used to but found something new in it now. It wasn’t just for show, it wasn’t just to show me that I had someone next to me, it was to seal our promise and tell me that Yunho wasn’t going anywhere.

            Beetee’s plan failed. Someone had sabotaged us, the wire had been cut, and the lightning wouldn’t bring the Arena down. We were stuck here, forced to kill each other, forced to choose between two people I loved and myself. Katniss looked frantic from my spot, I was watching her from the bush just as planned. Electricity was gathering in the air, tension filling the Arena as the lightning prepared to strike. Katniss was too close to the tree, hell, even I was too close to it, but Katniss was in danger right now and she wasn’t moving away. I could hear rustling coming from behind but it was supposed to be Finnick, I wasn’t worried about it. Just as the sky became lighter, energy crackling above our heads, Katniss did something I never thought anyone would do. She grabbed the wire and tied it to her arrow, standing up strong and tall as she pulled it back, her eyes set on the lightning that was just about to strike her. As I was about to shout her name and tackle her to save her from her insane plan, it was too late. The lightning struck as the arrow shot straight at it, the wire frying off and sizzling as a deafening boom shook the arena.

The blast was so strong that I couldn’t react before the explosion sent me flying feet away from my initial spot, my back cracking when I hit a tree. My spine tingled in pain as I fell to the ground, groaning and wheezing for air as my body trembled from the shock of the hit, panic rising in my disoriented state. I couldn’t hear as my ears were ringing, and my vision was so hazy it made me sick and unable to stand as I tried to find my footing, instantly tumbling back to the ground. Then, something even worse happened. The darkness of the Arena was slowly disappearing as the sky cracked and tore into heavy metal pieces that were plummeting straight at us. I knew I was in danger, and I knew both Yunho and Finnick were too. I pushed myself up and ignored the aching of my body as I heaved for air again, crawling on my fours towards where I knew Finnick was at. But I didn’t get any far when I was tackled back onto the ground, Mingi’s blurry face appearing above me. I panicked, trying to find my axe, but I was so powerless that it was easy for him to get on top of me and press a hand against my mouth as I tried to scream for help. His forehead was bloody and the top of his suit torn, jacket long lost somewhere in the Arena. His bow and arrow were missing and were replaced with a knife he held menacingly.

I gasped against his sweaty palm when I felt a sharp pain in my lower arm, close to my veins, somewhere close to where the tracker had been injected. I screamed against Mingi’s palm when the knife was twisted into my skin, feeling warm blood trickle down to my wrist and hands, a burning feeling spreading up my arm, to my shoulders. And then, as fast as he came, Mingi was gone, running off into the distance as my body convulsed, shaking even more as I turned onto my back, pieces of the Arena’s roof shaking the ground as they fell around the forest. I was petrified, I was disoriented and my throat wouldn’t work as I tried to call for Yunho, frantically getting up to my feet to look for him. I stumbled into every possible tree and almost slipped on the weeds as I went downhill, searching for the one man who’s always been there for me. I couldn’t abandon him, not now, not ever. But when I finally found him, it wasn’t the way I hoped to be.

Yunho lay on the ground, unmoving and sickly pale as blood trickled down the corner of his mouth, coating the collar of his jacket and suit a deep red. I could faintly hear myself call out his name again and again, feet carrying me over quickly, only to tumble to the ground and bruise my body more, but at least Yunho seemed to stir awake. His eyebrows were furrowed as his eyes opened and he clutched at his chest with a pained expression. I scrambled to get to him, but the ground shook and my legs were so weak I couldn’t stand again. I felt tears in my eyes and dread grip my heart as Yunho turned onto his side, coughing and spitting up some more blood.

“Yunho!” A scream so shrill my ears rang left my lips, and he finally seemed to realize he wasn’t alone as his eyes snapped up, rounding when he noticed me. I couldn’t hear him as I tried to drag myself over, feeling nauseous and on the verge of passing out, but it looked like he was saying something, like he was calling out to me. And then, the ground shook another time and I lunged myself forward as the light in Yunho’s eyes dimmed, his hand extended towards me as I fell not far from him, reaching out desperately towards him. Our fingers touched as dark spots started coating my vision and I gasped for air, fighting against the urge to give in to the darkness, waiting to aid Yunho, but I couldn’t. As blinding light flooded the whole Arena, the roof completely caving in, all I could do was mutter a prayer to see Yunho once I woke up again. If I’d wake up.

The next time I was conscious again, however, what I heard despite the unbearable headache and the dull ache of my spine, didn’t sound at all good, nor reassuring, “Katniss, there is no District Twelve.” And all I could think about was, where is Yunho?

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[marvel-redemption-omega]

Adam x Bratty!fem!reader

Reader is afab/female, explicitly used

Established relationship; you're Adam's wife

Summary: Y/n has started popping off to everyone lately, but mostly to Lute and Adam, which has caused a few scenes. Sera warned them to get their act together before she has to intervene. Adam thinks he knows just the thing to reel Y/n back in.

Minors DO NOT INTERACT! 18+ ONLY

Explicit content under the cut!

Warnings: Adam, lots of cursing, brief Dom!Lute, mentions of guitarspear if you squint, vague mentions of Lute x reader if you squint, Dom!Adam, Brat!reader, soft!Adam, BDSM/bondage, wing kink, thigh riding, edging, orgasm denial, slight praise kink?, you get used, idk what else you want me to say, there's some fluff in the midst; Adam fucks you senselessly into submission for being a brat, idk if there's more warnings. It's over 10k, I've lost track now.

Word count: 10,792

Make Me

(Not my gif, pulled from Google. If it's yours please lmk and I'll edit to credit!)

“The fuck you looking at, Saint Peter? Do I need to get Adam? Move,” you growl, shoving past the poor angel as you head towards the training grounds for the exterminators. Saint Peter looks after you, rubbing his wing where your own clipped his, sending a worried look after you before flying off to who knows where.

You slam open the doors, spreading your wings and launching yourself at the first exorcist you see. She is coming up to greet you, hand out for a handshake, when you grab it and fly up. Ignoring the startled scream from her, you try to keep steady as you twist, somersaulting a couple of times, and sling her towards a group of other exorcists headed right for you. They try to stop the one you sent flying at them, their wings tangling. You watch as they all plummet, hitting the ground with a harsh thud.

“Y/n!” Lute's voice has you turning to face your lieutenant. You smirk and bow your head slightly, wings twitching just the slightest as you hover and land before her.

“Lieutenant,” you grin, walking around her, wings partially folding behind you as you circle her. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your attention?” Sarcasm drips from your words. You rest your hands on your hips and watch as she turns with you, her eyes never leaving you.

“This isn't your normal behavior. What's gotten into you? Have you forgotten that we're all a team? We work together as one, and when you break that uniformity, it creates chaos,” Lute glares, voice cold as she approaches, her own wings stretching out. You know you're her subordinate, but you can't help taking the bait she's dropping. Her wings fully spread and you take the opportunity to taunt her.

“What's the matter? Don't like the fact I'm more brazen? I thought you said I needed to be more like you,” you snip, fully extending your wings as a show of defiance to her dominant display. Her eyes narrow and you both move quickly, flying towards each other. However, in your senseless agitation, you forget that Lute is your superior, in both ability and technicality. She easily gets the upper hand and wrestles you onto the ground, pinning your wings to your sides and you to the ground.

“You seem to be forgetting your place,” Lute warns, her tone sharp and hinting at something else you don't quite catch. The group of angels you sent in a heap arrive, all talking over one another to try and tell Lute what happened. She silences them with a look, not moving from atop her perch on you. “Hush! I saw what she did. Don't worry, Adam and I will be dealing with her,” she dismisses the group with a wave of her hand. Only once they're gone does she let you up, one hand gripping the base of one of your wings tightly, forcing you to back up to the side of the building as she extends her wings, making herself look bigger. You bite your tongue at the feel of her hand in your feathers, walking back until she has you pinned, your own wings shrinking and folding as best they can with a hand in the way.

“What now? You've got me alone? Why don't you just beat me and be done?” You snap, glaring at her boots. She steps into your space, forcing you to look at her. You press yourself back to the wall, irritation written on your face.

“You've got some nerve! You're lucky that you're one of the best I've trained. And you're even more lucky that Adam has a soft spot for you, otherwise I'd leave you broken on this fucking ground,” the lieutenant growls, twisting the hand she's got on your wing ever so slightly. Something crossed between a yelp and a moan escapes you as she pushes against you. “Since you think you can just barrel over anyone, you're going to be waking up extra early with me to do drills. We start tomorrow.” With that, she releases the hold on your wing, keeping hers flared behind her, before taking off. You hear her call for the ones training today. With a mocking snort, you take flight and leave the training grounds, deciding to be anywhere else but near Lute.

“Stupid Lute yelling at me. I didn't do anything. Why's she gotta take her anger out on me,” you grumble, landing back on the promenade. You know that's a lie, you're being a brat, but it's not your fault, you reason. You fold your wings, tucking them under your arms as a habit you adopted from Adam. “Fucking tell me I've gotta do early morning shit. Fuck her, she's not the boss of me,” you continue to rant to yourself, completely missing the golden winged angel. His eyes widen as he watches you storm by, none the wiser to his presence. He glowers before white wings cover his face, momentarily confusing him and turning him around.

“Whoa! Sera! I thought we agreed you wouldn't fucking sneak up on me again!” Adam says, looking up at the seraphim. She crosses her arms as she meets his eye.

“Adam, get your subordinate back in line. She is being rude to the other angels and if this behavior of hers continues, I will be forced to intervene. Saint Peter is not the first to have a complaint with Y/n and her behavior,” Sera warns, watching as Adam turns to watch you. Sure enough, you're shoving others aside, using your wings to try and create more space around you as you walk.

“Yeah yeah! I'll go get her! No need to jump down my throat, that's my job!” Adam dismisses Sera, crouching lightly as he spreads his wings. Sera grabs his wrist, stopping him.

“I'm serious, Adam. Reign Y/n back in or I will have to pull her from the extermination team and move her elsewhere. And if she doesn't calm down there, well, let's not let it get that far,” Sera releases him, turning to greet Emily who is flying up with two ice cream cones. Adam, unfortunately, loses sight of you in the time Sera is talking to him. He groans and heads to find Lute.

Lute is sparring with five exorcists at once, pointing out their flaws as she takes each one down. Adam, not particularly keen on getting a sprained wing again, waits out of the way until she notices him and dismisses them to work without her.

“Sir?” his lieutenant questions, wings folding behind her as she walks up to him.

“Have you seen Y/n? Sera's bitching ‘bout her. Something ‘bout she's being mean or some fucking shit. I wasn't really paying attention,” he admits, shrugging as they walk back out the training facility. Lute smirks at his typical behavior.

“Yeah. She came here earlier and assaulted some of the others. Sera is right though. Y/n was deliberately being disobedient,” she reluctantly agrees with the seraphim about you. To be fair, normally you'd go straight to Lute for a good, challenging spar, so to go after some of the younger and less experienced exorcists was a dick move on your part. Adam sighs and groans, glancing down at his lieutenant.

“Hey, Lute~”

“No.”

“What the hell, you don't even know what I was gonna fucking ask!”

“I know you. I don't need to know what you were going to ask.” Adam just stares at her for a moment, his mask switching to a deadpan expression. It quickly switches back to his usual, cocky smirk.

“Oh yeah? If you're so smart, what was it along the lines of then, Dangertits?”

“You were thinking of having me deal with Y/n instead of you, Sir.”

“Don't say it with such confidence. Bitch,” he throws in the last word as an afterthought, realizing she pegged him pretty well. She stopped and turned to face him, brow raised in question.

“So am I wrong?”

“Shut up. No. Let's just fucking go,” he grumbles, spreading his wings and flapping twice to get into the air. Lute smirks and follows silently. She might be his subordinate, but they both know she's right more often than not.

They finally find you at the local barbecue pit, in the reserved section. Reserved for him, Lute, and you. Lute looks up at Adam, wings folding behind her as she waits for his orders. “C'mon, Dangertits,” he mutters, making his way to you. You don't bother looking up when you're sandwiched between two bodies. The familiar touching of wings against yours immediately tells you it's Adam and Lute. You flip them off and continue eating your plate of ribs.

“Umm excuse the fuck outta you, Sugartits. You have some damn nerve acting like you're so fucking high and mighty all of a sudden. The fuck's got your panties in a twist?” Adam reaches over you and takes a rib, expertly dodging the fork you try to stab him with. Lute remains quiet, eyeing you as you glare at Adam, dropping the fork.

“None of your fucking business. And get your own damn plate of ribs, asshole,” you bite out, wings shifting in annoyance. Adam grins and reaches for another rib, holding your gaze while he does so.

“Fucking make me,” he retorts, grabbing the rib you start to reach for. Your eyes narrow, wings fluffing up fully behind you.

“You fucking absolute prick. What the hell is wrong with you?! I said to leave me the fuck alone. I was eating alone just fine until you two showed up,” you yell, drawing unwanted attention and eyes towards the three of you. You let your wings lift you from between your superiors, glaring down at them. “Stop fucking following me!” You leave the duo with your half eaten plate as well as the bill, hands clenched at your sides as you fly out the doors.

Emily finds you on a cloud, well away from everyone. She flies into your vision, giving you a warm smile. You can't help but return it. No matter how mad you were, Emily always seemed to make you want to smile and try to be happy for her sake. She was like a little sister to you after all. You gesture to another cloud beside the one you're on, letting your wings fluff out in contentment. Emily accepts your silent invitation. Heaven's sun warms your wings as you sit in peaceful silence with the young seraphim. It doesn't last long though. You feel Emily's eyes on you and you know she has something she wants to say.

“Everyone's worried about you, you know. Sera's worried that you're going to fall. Adam and Lute….they're worried something is wrong. Something like you don't want to be here, in Heaven, anymore. Saint Peter also said to let you know he wants to see you when you get the chance,” the seraphim rambles, one of her hands finding yours. You allow her to link your fingers, listening to her. Yeah, you have been a little shit lately, you know that. There was only one person who could help and he was still as clueless as ever. Adam. Well, that's not true. Lute could most definitely help too, you just preferred if it were Adam.

“I promise I'm fine, Em. You can tell Sera that I'll be okay. I'm just….going through something,” you grin, swinging your joined hands. “But, for you, I'll try and not cause any more trouble.” You mean every word. You don't want to give Sera a reason to cast you out. You actually like it here in Heaven. Hell, you even like your misogynistic, egotistical, dumbass husband. Why, you don't know, but there's just something about him that draws you in and keeps you coming back for more. He'd definitely say it was because he's the Original Dick.

“Eee! I know she'll be happy to hear that! I'm gonna go tell her you're okay! Okay? Bye!” Emily lurches forward to give you a hug before racing off to find her older sister. You let out a chuckle at the young seraphim's antics. For someone at least a millennia old, she still had a childish air about her. It was refreshing, a nice change of pace from her older sister, Sera.

Your peaceful mood doesn't last too long. You remember Lute telling you that you have to be up early for extra training due to your outburst earlier. Honestly, you know you can't blame anyone but yourself, but that doesn't mean that you like it. With a defeated sigh, you make your way back to your house.

You slam the door to your home, grumbling and cursing Lute and several other angels. In your anger, you completely miss two angels in your kitchen. Adam and Lute watch you pace in your living room, wings fluttering about. They have a silent conversation before Adam's smiling and Lute is trying her best not to, shaking her head. Finally, the light from your kitchen catches your eye.

“What the hell? I can't go out without running into you and now I can't even be in my own fucking place?!” You groan, feathers floating around you as your wings puff up in your annoyance. Adam smirks, lacing his fingers and folding his hands, resting his chin on them as he watches you.

“Babes, this is our house, not just yours,” he corrects you without hesitation, watching as you shake your feathers and fold your wings. Lute watches you both, only here to act as the middleman if needed to separate a fight. You turn your back to them and head back to the couch, falling face first onto it.

“Fuck off. I'm so sick of seeing your ugly mug,” you snarl, head turned to the side so they can hear you. Adam turns to Lute, nodding to the door. She gives him a look, but he shoos her as he gets up, making his way to you.

“Adam, I don't think-”

“Lute, just go. I can fucking handle this. I think I know just the fucking thing to correct her attitude,” a grin appears on Adam's mask, a ripple running through his wings as he pushes his chair back. You fluff your wings, letting them sprawl, one hanging off the back of the couch and the other dangling on the floor. Lute doesn't offer any further complaints, just opens the door and gives him a look before shutting it behind her.

“Go away, Adam,” you huff, feeling his presence hovering over you. You crack an eye open to see his face inches from your own, mask discarded somewhere. You yelp in surprise at the proximity, your wings flapping frantically to help you pull back and away from him. His grin widens as he slowly stalks towards you, his golden wings unfurling and shaking out behind him.

“You've been rather busy the last couple weeks huh? Been fucking with me and Lute and raising hell up here. Care to enlighten me as to why?” His gold eyes narrow as you search for a way around Adam or out of reach of him and his wings. You know he will use his wings to pull you close if you get too close.

“N-no. I haven't,” you lie poorly, slowly crawling backwards on the couch, and off the far side over the arm. You both stare at each other as your feet land on the cool hardwood flooring. A subtle flutter of his wings has you turning and darting down the hall, wings helping as you try to keep out of Adam's reach, hoping to get to the bedroom before he reaches you.

“You're such a shit liar,” he snorts at you, catching up to you quickly. You don't stop to see how close he is, you don't need to. You can feel his feathers brush against yours just before they fully envelope you.

“Adam!” You squeak out as his arms wrap you in a tight hug, face burying in the crook of your neck. Trying to steel your resolve and not break from such a small interaction, you use your wings to push against his, earning a chuckle from him.

“S'matter, Babe~? Need something?” His sharp teeth nip at your neck and it takes all of your willpower to not cave and moan at the sensation. The feel of his chin stubble combined with his teeth make your knees weak. Thankfully you have wings that help keep you balanced.

“Not from you,” you manage to scoff, still trying to get out of his grip, though your attempts are more feeble with each bite to your shoulders. In the small power scuffle, Adam has managed to walk you to your bedroom, nudging the door open fully with his wing.

“Mm, don't fucking be like that. I came all the way here from work just to help you,” he growls in your ear, voice dropping as he talks. You pause in your escape attempts, a chill running up your spine and through your wings. Adam doesn't miss the shaking of your feathers at his words, gold eyes glinting in the setting light filtering in through the window. He quickly takes advantage of your lack of fight, easily hefting you into his arms bridal style, letting your wings free of his hold. You blink up at him, arms instinctively going around his neck.

“Bullshit. Your head is too far up your own ass to care about me,” you sneer at him, grabbing his collar and pulling it tight so it comes close to choking him. He grins and leans his face closer to you, nuzzling his forehead against yours.

“I'm gonna make you eat your fucking words, Babe,” he mutters. He tosses you onto the bed after breaking your hold on his collar. His wings stay spread, displaying his dominance to and over you.

You turn to him, on your knees, and spread your own wings in defiance. You grin smugly at him, crossing your arms as he makes no moves to change your mind. When he does move, you don't see him. He turns you around faster than you expect. It's easy to pin you, and when he moves to grab something from under the bed, he keeps you down with his wings. You struggle under him until you feel cold metal on your wings. A gasp escapes you as Adam moves to secure your wings so they stay flared out, the metal frame locking as he puts the spines of your wings into each arm. You try to pull away, only for the metal brace to force them to stay.

“A-Adam!” You whine, realizing what kind of hole you dug for yourself. He ignores you, making sure your wings are secure before rolling you onto your back.

“You want to show disrespect to your superiors? Don't worry, I'm going to remind you of your place,” he chuckles, moving to grab something from the nightstand.

You whimper. You know you're fucked. You pushed your luck, especially with Adam, and went overboard with your bratty attitude. But fuck if this isn't what you wanted. Adam had been ignoring you after all. He was always ‘too busy’ with work. Maybe you were jealous of the time he spent with Lute, not like you should be, you knew their relationship, but it did bug you sometimes. Especially when you're his wife. You're aware and more than ok with the swing style relationship you both share with Lute. It was something you accepted readily when you met her after a date with Adam. There was hardly ever one without the other, no matter which way you looked at it.

“You're going to be begging me to stop before I'm through with you. I'm going to make sure you don't forget where you belong for a long time,” Adam's voice brings you back to the present. You look up at him, not daring to move from where he rolled you. He's sitting beside you, hand on one of your knees, hiding something in his other hand. You prop yourself up on your elbows, meeting his gaze.

“Big talk coming from someone who's locked up my wings. What's the matter, Dickmaster? Can't put me in my place with my wings in the way?” You taunt, though there's no real bite to your words anymore. You know you're at his mercy now, but you still can't help yourself since he hasn't touched you aside from the love bites he gave you on the way to the bedroom. You watch as his hand freezes the small thumb circling on your knee. His head tilts and he pulls out a massage wand, twirling it a couple of times.

“Sounds like you need more than just this. On my knee, now!” He orders, setting the massager on the floor for now. You raise a brow at him and bat your lashes at him.

“Make. Me.”

A feral noise escapes your husband. You're dragged into his lap and stripped of your boots and pants with a snap of his fingers. His robe is also discarded from his snap, leaving him in dark jeans and a band tee shirt. Your wings try to move, but the bar keeps them locked in place. The most you're able to do is shift the feathers slightly.

Smack! Smack! Smack!

The sting from Adam's hand connecting with your ass pulls a startled yelp from you. Your body shivers and goosebumps appear on your arms and legs. You try to kick and get out of his lap, but his hold on you tightens.

“Want to try that again, Bitch?”

“Y-yes… Make me, Dickmaster.”

Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!

You try to stifle your moan by biting your fist, not wanting to give him the satisfaction just yet. You hear him tsk and see his shadow shaking his head at you.

“Nu-uh, that's not a good little bitch. What do we say?” He teases, grabbing your free hand and clicking something around it. You recognize the feel of the metal cuffs, even if it's been a few months since they've been used. He grabs the hand you're biting, and you willingly let him pull it above your head. He holds your hand there, your other being held in place by the chain connecting the cuffs.

“Fuck.”

“Getting warmer,” he chuckles, shifting so you're sitting on his lap. “You're going to ride my thigh until you tell me, but if you cum before I say so, I'll make sure you don't get to cum for the rest of the night. Understand, Bitch?” Your heartbeat feels like it's in your ears as you nod your head, wiggling your free hand to grab his shoulder. He lets you readjust yourself, the hand holding the empty cuff taps your free hand. “Gimme.” You immediately move your hand to his, letting him fix the cuff and click it around your wrist. He moves your hands so your arms are locked around his neck, hands resting on his shoulders with the lengthy chain. His own hands roam your body, pausing at your chest to grope your breasts through your top, one continuing south to rest on your hip after he gropes your ass. “Move,” he commands.

You tense slightly before realizing what he means. You lean forward, burying your face in his neck as you begin slowly grinding on his thigh. Still feeling a bit bratty, not having your fire extinguished just yet, you gently nip at Adam's neck before biting down hard at the junction between his collarbone and neck.

“Fuck!”

You smile as best you can with your teeth clamped against his neck, sucking on the skin until you're sure it's bruising. You feel Adam's wings curl around you, radiating warmth. Your wings block his from fully enveloping you, but you feel the warmth in your wings where they touch his own. Feeling proud about your mission to mark your husband, you let go of his neck with a loud pop. Adam's hands grip your hips tightly, fingers digging into your skin as he forces you to move faster on his thigh.

“You have some damn nerve being such a brat, yanno that?” He doesn't give you time to answer. He's sucking and biting a trail of hickeys along both sides of your neck, to hell with what anyone says. Once satisfied with the number he's left on you, he lets your hips go, hands trailing up your back to your wings. Your breath hitches as his hands curl tightly into the small feathers closest to your back. “Gonna have to show you where you belong. Make you understand just what happens to a brat who doesn't behave.”

“Sounds fun,” you breathe, leaning your head on your arm to look up at him, grin on your face as your halo shifts to right itself. He tilts his head down at you, gold eyes alight with something you can't quite pinpoint.

“Always gotta have the last damn word, don't cha?” He grunts, grabbing the chain connecting the cuffs and yanking it over the back of his head, holding it above him to pull you close. He drops the chain as his hand moves to grip the back of your neck, tangling in the hair there. You open your mouth to say something else smart, but he quickly covers your mouth with his own, silencing you before you can get anything out. You try to refuse when he licks your lips in an attempt to get you to open your mouth to him. He growls and tugs the hand in your hair, earning a moan from you and giving him access. He massages your wings as you kiss, only pulling away when you gently tap his shoulder, your signal you need air.

You can't process anything. From Adam's hand in your feathers, you riding his thigh, and that kiss? You feel a bit tipsy. Wanting to keep riding the high that is Adam, you lean back in for another kiss, your hands finding their way into his hair. Sensing your keen interest, he obliges you as you pull him down for another sloppy kiss, teeth clacking and tongues dancing.

“Adam, please… Don't want to ride your thigh,” you manage to squeak out, head resting on his shoulders, hands gripping his hair tightly as you grind down on his thigh.

“What's that? You don't want to?” He repeats, letting his hand untangle from your hair and trail up and down your back. He grins, and you swear his face matches his mask. “Too bad. Brats don't get what they want,” he answers, gripping your hip to keep you moving. He rocks his leg, shifting it with you so it hits just right, causing you to squirm. You whine and try to pull away with no fire in your heart, stopped by his grip, wings, and the handcuff chain. You can feel how excited he is, but you know he'd hold off just to prove a point. With another whine, you push your forehead into his collarbone. He doesn't want me to cum but wants me to ride his thigh? Fine, I'll at least follow one rule, you think, gripping his shoulders to pick up your pace on his thigh. If he wants you to ride his thigh, fine, you can do that, but you're doing it on your terms, not his. “Whoa. Ok, Sugartits, now we're talking,” Adam murmurs above you. You try to ignore him, ignore the feel of his hands on you. You don't care about him right now. He's been so mean to you! He's been too busy for you. Fuck him! You're gonna use him. Yes, you love him, but fuck him, literally and figuratively.

So focused on your own pleasure, you don't hear Adam calling for you. You're shaking your head, ears filled with the sound of your own panting. You feel the way Adam moves his leg under you, the way your wings tug against the warming metal brace, the warmth of Adam and his wings, the way you're moving in and out of sync with Adam's leg, it makes your brain fuzzy. A whine is pulled from your lips as you feel that familiar spring coiling tightly in your stomach. When did it coil like that? Surely you're not already about to come undone? Your fingers dig into his shoulders and you bite on his shoulder as your body shakes slightly uncontrollably as you reach your orgasm. You feel a rumble from Adam's chest, his hands tightening harshly on your hips as he works you through your bliss, slowing you down as your body settles from the aftershocks of your release.

“Still disobedient, I see,” you hear his voice and give a faint nod as you release his neck. You smirk at the mark before leaning back to meet his eye, eyes half lidded in ecstasy.

“Fuck you,” you manage to grumble, using the chain against the back of his neck to pull him closer. He chuckles, denying you the kiss you desperately want, he holds you still on his lap, wings unfurling from around you both and folding to his sides. The cool air sends a shiver up your spine, the chill creeping over your bare lower half. You glare then pout at him as he laughs at your expression, hands running over your legs to bring some heat back.

“I told you already, brats don't get what they want,” he reiterates, bringing one hand down hard on your rear end, making you jump. He smiles mischievously and snaps, eyeing your now nude body on display for him, your wings still held firm in their restraint, giving him a complete view of you. You whine and rock against his leg, your first orgasm barely scratching the surface of your need. “Ah ah ah,” he chides, lifting you just enough to prevent you from achieving the friction you just tried to make. He holds you like it's effortless, and honestly, for him it probably is. Man's like eight feet tall, if not more. You whimper, leaning your forehead into his neck at the loss of all contact except where he's holding your thighs. Your hands pull together and you realize Adam is pulling the chain over his head so you aren't locking him in place.

“On your hands and knees.” You're deposited on the bed, the remaining warmth leaving you as Adam shuffles off the bed and waits for you, gold eyes glowing in the dark. You shift your weight, grumbling, until you're on your hands and knees as ordered. “You know better. Arch your back.”

The sound of buzzing piques your interest enough to listen, turning your head so your left ear is pressed to the soft sheets on the mattress. You feel your feathers ripple and a few smaller ones fall as they poof up against your will. Heat creeps up your face and you quickly bury it against the sheets with a groan. Adam's chuckle is faint, but you hear it as he shuffles around behind you. The bed dips under his weight, forcing you to shift and recover your position for any sliver of hope that he won't keep his word of denying you more orgasms.

“Aww s'matter, Babes? Embarrassed your wings are giving away how aroused you really are? Afraid I'm going to do exactly as I said?” His voice drops lower as he leans over you. You feel his scruff on the back of your neck, his breath hot as he places a few sloppy kisses there. You can't help the moan that slips, and he doesn't miss that you ball your hands into the sheets either. He shifts again and you yelp, the vibration setting not what you were expecting as he holds the massage wand to your inner thigh.

“Fuck,” you bite the sheets to try and mute yourself, still not wanting to give Adam the satisfaction of hearing your voice. He tuts, moving the massage wand closer where you want it.

“Hold this,” he mutters. He smacks your hand away and gives you a knowing look. “Not with your hands.” You roll your head to the side, pulling your shoulders closer as you shift to bring your arms back under you.

“You can't be serious, Adam!” You whine, glancing over your shoulder where he's patiently waiting for you to take the wand. His grin never wavers as you lock eyes, gold piercing through you. “Fuck, Adam, please!” You attempt to bargain, hands clawing at the bed when he shakes his head no. Your resolve is slowly breaking at his slow torture. You'd prefer his break-neck pace instead at this point. When he doesn't budge, you curse him out, eyes never leaving his own as you move your thighs together to hold the wand where he wants you to.

“Good girl,” he praises as he moves from the bed, humming to himself. You try to watch him to the best of your ability, but lose sight of him when he moves to your shared closet. You can hear him pushing clothes aside until he lets out an excited ‘aha’. You can only imagine what he found, considering that's where you kept the more sinful sex toys and equipment. The familiar feeling of leather being wrapped about your ankle startles you from your momentary bliss of the wand. You hum as you feel Adam's fingers easily pulling the restraint tight. He slips a finger between your ankle and the leather. “Too tight?” The question makes you shake your head. “Can't hear you, Angel,” he teases, looking over the curve of your ass, down your lovely arched back.

“No, not too tight,” you bite out, legs slightly numb from the high intensity of the toy he demanded you hold. You jump and let out a small yelp as his hand makes contact with your rear. You quickly squeeze your thighs back together to keep the massager from falling, knowing that would earn you more discipline. Without another word, he's moving to get the second leather brace around your other ankle. Now knowing what he's doing, you quickly answer when he asks if the second is too tight. Once you agree that you're ok and the leather is really not too tight, he nudges your knees apart, clicking a small metal rod onto both ankle braces. The wand lands on the bed with a soft thump.

“On your knees,” he orders. He grabs the wand and turns it off for the moment, setting it on the side of the bed. You push up onto your forearms before using them to propel yourself fully upright to your knees. A soft gasp escapes you as Adam wraps his hand around the front of your throat. You never felt him crawl onto the bed behind you, but you feel his warm chest and stomach pressing against your back, feel his breath against your neck. You try to swallow and calm yourself of the anticipation. He trails kisses from behind your ear down to your shoulders, his hand staying firmly around your neck, holding you against him. The cold clasp of metal doesn't startle you this time, but it does send a warmth spreading through your chest and to your core like wildfire. You feel Adam loop the leather band through the clasp, pulling the collar to rest snug against your throat. He checks once, twice, three times with his finger that the collar isn't choking you before turning you in his arms, maneuvering you so you can see him.

“Safeword?”

“Oh, uhh…kumquat!” You snicker as his grin falters at your words before returning as he throws his head back, howling with laughter. He nods, wiping a nonexistent tear away from his eye.

“Perfect. If I cross a line, you say cumquat, and I'll stop, understand?” You giggle a bit at his words, but nod along so he knows you understand. He fingers the d-ring on the collar before using it to pull you close to him. “I couldn't hear you, Pet, what was that?”

“Yessir!” You squeak, a bit baffled by the new nickname. He licks his lips, nodding and muttering something you don't quite catch. He doesn't give you an opportunity to ask what he plans to do before he kisses you roughly, forcing his tongue into your mouth. Not like you're complaining. You try to move with him, but he has you stuck with your collar, his fingers still tangled in the ring on the front. You groan against him as he presses his lips harshly to your own. He nips at your bottom lip as he pulls away, panting slightly. You notice his hair is tousled more than usual.

While you're busy staring, you don't notice him undoing your handcuffs. He rubs the indents on your wrists before bringing them to his lips, leaving small kisses. Your heartbeat quickens slightly at the sight, loving Adam's sweet tendencies, you don't even know if he's aware of them. He drops your hands and meets your gaze, his eyes narrowing at you. You shy away slightly and drop your eyes to anywhere but his face, choosing the bed by his knee to be particularly interesting as heat floods your face.

“C'mere. Lay on your back and hang your head over the edge of the bed here. You're going to be a good little bitch and suck Daddy's cock,” he croons to you, one hand cradling your cheek. Your eyes widen a bit at his bold claim, but you nod along, nipping at his hand when he pulls it away. He quirks a brow but you just shrug and do as he told you, doing your best with both your legs and wings restrained. Once situated as comfortably as you can, you tip your head back to look at the shadow looming over you. He's got the wand in his hand again and you hum, hands reaching for Adam's clothed length. He's still in his shirt and jeans, so you tug at the belt loops, looking up at him expectantly. He rolls his eyes playfully and snaps, leaving himself bare to you. You, maybe a bit too eagerly, reach out for him, grabbing the back of his thighs and tugging him towards you. You hear his laughter, but you try to tune him out, desperate to start on him in hopes that he'd return the favor with his hands or the magic wand he has.

“Can I touch you?” You ask as he stands above you. The low glow from his wings and halo give you a small glimpse of his expression, a hesitant pause as he thinks over his words.

“Yes, I'll allow you to touch me. But, if you take your hands off me, there'll be consequences,” he grants you permission. You hum with a small smile, one hand going to the back of one of his thighs while the other grips his length. You give him a couple of strokes before opening your mouth and gently tugging his thigh to urge him forward. He doesn't need you to tell him twice, and moves so his shins hit the bed while you move to make sure you can take as much of his cock as possible.

The angle is a bit awkward for you, but you make the best of your situation as you feel Adam move and hear curses ring out. You hollow your cheeks, allowing him to fit farther down your throat as he pumps his hips. You hum, swirling your tongue around him, the metal barbell on your tongue adding a cooling sensation to Adam's heat. He groans at the feeling of it, dropping above you so he's leaning on his elbows on either side of you. You reach up to mess with his feathers, your other hand moving to fondle his balls. He curses and moans as you bob your head in sync with his movements. You let your hand fall from his sack, moving it to join in his wings. You bring your knees up and dig your heels into the bed, shifting yourself closer to the edge. Your gag reflex reacts at the sudden change, your throat constricting around Adam's cock, but you force yourself to choke through it, keeping yourself from gagging again.

“Ahh-fuck!” He curses, hips stuttering before he pushes himself up, pulling out of your mouth. “Up, on your front.” You whine as you're forced to let his wings go, but quickly do as he says, mimicking your first position with your back arched. He fists your hair, pulling you back to him. You lick your lips as he watches you take him back into your mouth. He grunts at the feel of your tongue running over him before he sets a brutish pace, hand so tightly wound in your hair you feel the subtle oncoming of a headache. You reach up and rest a hand on his hip for stability, the other going back to the base of his wings. You relax your throat and jaw as best you can, tears pricking your eyes and drool dripping down your face.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight when you feel a gentle vibration at your core. Adam has the wand pressed to you on a low setting, his other hand firmly locked in your hair. He runs the toy along your folds, resting it on your clit before circling it a few times. You moan around him when you feel him up the setting, circling the toy again. You try to lean back into it, but a tug on your hair makes you stop and turn your gaze up to look at Adam. He's got his head tipped back, mouth slightly open as he pistons his hips, roughly slamming his cock down your throat. You whine as you feel the wand turn off, before hearing it hit the floor. Adam's nowhere near close, but the way you're whining around him does make his dick twitch. You lurch forward, choking slightly, as he inserts a finger into you. You try to rock back into his hand in time with his hips, earning a hum of approval from your husband. He slips in a second finger, twisting and curling them as you rock between his hand and his own rhythm. The coil from earlier winds faster now, having already had one orgasm spurs on a second more quickly. As you start to move out of sync with him, hellbent on chasing your own release again, he withdraws his hand from you. He smirks at your pathetic whine against him, sticking his fingers in his mouth, sucking on them, never letting pausing or slowing in fucking your face.

“Fuck. Taste so good, Sugartits,” he praises, watching you squirm under his gaze. You narrow your eyes at him, tugging on his feathers. His body jerks and he groans as his hips falter in their pace, before stopping. You feel his release hit the back of your throat and you swallow, running your tongue along the underside of his shaft, pulling off of him with a grin.

“Mm, right back at ya, Dickmaster,” you antagonize, sitting up on your knees to get closer to him. He growls, his smile twisting into a sneer.

“You just don't fucking learn, do you, Brat?” He yanks you to your feet by your hair, preening at the yelp he pulls from you. “That's ok. We have all fucking night and you're going to be fucking wrecked by the time I'm done with you.” You instinctively let go of his wing and hip as he pulls you into his chest, eyes holding you in place. You give him a lopsided grin as you pull your hands up to his chest, pressing your fingers into his skin.

“Of course not. It's gonna take more than a little bit to make up for ignoring me all month,” you snip back at him. He lets go of your hair and grips your cheeks between his fingers, squeezing lightly. You just smile as he holds your face close to his, his other snaking between you two to stroke his already half hard cock.

“Hmm. I'll have you in tears in a matter of minutes,” he finally replies, releasing your cheeks, and pressing a kiss to the side of your mouth. You pout slightly but quickly try to hide it from him. You might have gotten lucky for back talking so far, but you knew you were going to eventually run out of luck if you hadn't already. Adam snaps, pointing to the bed. “On your back, now.” You scrunch your nose at his odd request, unable to read his expression. It takes some maneuvering as your ankles are still in the spreader bar and your wings are still in their own spreader arms, that Adam notices how difficult of a time you're having. He taps your hip, motioning for you to stop. You do so, watching him intently as he removes the bar holding your legs apart. He steps back once he's got it undone, allowing you to move freely. You murmur a soft thank you to him, a hand on his shoulder as you lower yourself onto your back much easier now. He pulls you closer to the edge of the bed once you're settled, making you lift your head at him. He doesn't acknowledge you, simply replaces the bar and uses it to lift your legs over his head as he kneels at the foot of the bed.

Your face flushes as you realize Adam is about to eat you out, a rarity from him for sure. He flashes you a grin before kissing up your legs to your thighs. He nips and kisses your inner thigh before biting harshly. You let out a small whine, reacting to the pain by trying to yank your leg back. Of course the bar and Adam stop you from getting anywhere, and your leg twitches while you whimper, balling the sheet into your fists at your sides. Your muscle shakes, pain and ecstasy flooding you, quickly turning you into a panting mess. Adam presses a kiss to the bruise he's left, moving to your other thigh to leave a matching mark there. Your toes curl as his teeth sink into your flesh, a long whine pulled from you as your muscle tenses before relaxing under Adam's tongue.

“Adam, please! Don't tease,” you cry, reaching down to bury your fingers in his messy hair. He hums as he nips at your thigh, sucking another, smaller hickey.

“Don't tell me what to do,” he rumbles, breath tickling your leg. You can't help the small laugh that finds its way out as he hovers over your mound, staring at you intently. How can he be so calm right now, you think.

You lift your head, breath hitching as you watch as your husband slowly licks straight up your folds, never breaking eye contact. You feel your face heat up, and you drop your head back onto the bed, tugging gently on his hair. He lets out a chuckle, nuzzling your thighs before pulling you closer, arms wrapped under your thighs and on your back. He laps at you slowly, humming in contentment as you squirm under him, trying to grind down on his face. He dips his tongue inside, finally, and you arch your back, chancing a glance down at him again. His eyes are closed as he draws random patterns with his tongue. After a few minutes, he pulls back, sucking your clit into his mouth. You suck in a deep breath, letting it out slowly as he hums against you, the vibrations sending a shiver up your spine.

He wiggles one hand out from under you, snapping his fingers. The spreader bar, keeping your legs apart, disappears, and you feel his wings gently move your legs out to rest over his shoulders. You stretch one leg out, hooking the other around his neck. He presses a kiss to one of your hickeys, looking up at you. He covers your clit again, sucking harshly as he slips a finger in you, moving it slowly. A gasp leaves you, feeling your stomach tighten at the sudden intrusion. He wastes no time in adding a second finger, pumping and twisting them at just the right angle to make you squeak out his name. He slows his ministrations as he feels your pussy clench around his fingers. He picks up speed again before slowing down, repeating the cycle each time you squeeze his fingers.

“Adam, please, I'm so close,” you pant, hands loose in his hair. You gently stroke through the messy brown strands, eyes shut tight as you try to hold onto the edge of bliss.

His eyes glint with mirth and mischief. He pulls away fully, smiling softly at your cry of protest. “I know I said earlier that if you came before I told you, you wouldn't get to the rest of the night…but now, I'm thinking that was a bit harsh.” There's something in the way he says it that makes you not believe him. You don't know why, and you quirk your brow up at him in silent question, moving your stretched leg to cross the other so you lock Adam in place. He definitely just edged you, you've been on the receiving end of that trick one too many times, but something is different. He's up to something. “So, how about I let you cum,” he starts and you nod quickly, squirming to try and grind on him. He laughs and holds your hips down with practiced ease. His wings lightly trail on either side of your face, down your neck, to your hips softly. “You want to cum for me, Babe?” He asks, dipping his head to lick you teasingly. You don't answer, your brain fuzzy at what he's just offered you. When he nips at your stomach do you snap your eyes to his, nodding in response. “Can't hear you, Sweets.”

“Fuck me… God, yes! Adam, please, please, let me cum,” you beg, using your legs to pull your husband closer to where you want him. His eyes narrow, tongue delving back into your folds. He swirls his tongue, constantly changing his rhythm, licking, nipping, sucking, and lapping at you fervently. You squeeze your thighs, pulling Adam closer as a result. “Adam, please, please, please!” You beg, tears threatening to spill as you feel your stomach contract as you're brought closer and closer to your second orgasm of the night.

“That's right, Sugartits. Cum for me. Cum on Dickmaster's tongue,” Adam praises, watching you as he turns his focus back to sucking on your clit, slipping two fingers in and curling them. With a shout of his name, you feel a wave of bliss wash over you. Adam hums as he works you through your release, your legs squeezing his head with the aftershocks. Your gaze snaps down to his, eyes wide in realization. He's not had a change of heart, he's just twisting what he said before. You feel your stomach drop as he pulls back a little, giving your slightly over-stimulated clit a break. His tongue darts out, licking his chin. His smug grin tells you he's about to say something smart, like usual. “Damn, Babe, if I'd known all it would take to rile you up and make you this wet for me is to ignore you, I'd have done it sooner.” You want to hate him and his stupidly perfect face, but dammit if he isn't your idiot. You try to glare at him, but your heartbeat and panting leaves little room for anything other than flustered to show.

“Fuck you, Adam,” you manage to grumble, leaning your head back into the sheets, massaging his scalp. Honestly, you don't know which is the worse of two evils; being edged all night or being over-stimulated to the point of tears.

“In a bit, Babes,” he replies, scissoring his fingers in an attempt to bring you back to the edge. “Be a good girl and keep cuming for me.” He snaps with his free hand, watching as a sash ties your wrists together with a bow knot. You roll your eyes at him, shaking your head at his silly antics.

You've lost count how many orgasms Adam has pulled from you now. All you know is if he keeps the wand on you, you're not going to last much longer. You tug at the satin sashes holding your wrists together above your head, whining as you feel another orgasm wash over you. Your nose burns as the threat of tears forms behind your closed eyelids. “Adam,” your voice is hoarse as you call out to your husband, eyes opening to find him hovering above you, wand nowhere in sight. As a matter of fact, you don't even hear it anymore.

“Shh,” Adam cooes to you, pulling one of the loose ends of the sash, untying the bow and releasing your wrists from their binds. “Think you can do something for me? I know you've already done so much, been such a good girl,” he praises, pressing light kisses along your jaw. You whimper, not trusting yourself to speak just yet. You feel him shift above you, his wings curling around you both as he fists his cock. “Think you can take one more orgasm, Sweets?” He murmurs against your neck, rubbing the head of himself against your folds. You whine, tilting your head to give him more access.

“I-I don't know. ‘M sore,” you whisper back, letting one hand rest on his shoulder. Instinctively you intertwine your fingers with his as he moves his free hand to your own.

“Come on, just one more, Pretty Girl? One more for me?” He urges, gently squeezing your hand. When you squeeze his hand in reply, he quickly sinks down until your hips meet. You shift your hips, nearly purring with the stretch of him.

“Fuck, feel so full, so good, Dickmaster,” you return the praise, turning your head to look at your husband. His face flushes lightly and he glances away, a quiet ‘shut up’ coming from him. You smile at his reaction, moving your hand from his shoulder to his cheek, cradling it gently. He turns his head to press a soft kiss to your wrist, nuzzling your hand. “I love you, Adam, but for fuck's sake, please fucking move,” you groan, bucking your hips up into him. He chuckles at your renewed enthusiasm and pushes your intertwined hands into the mattress as he shifts his weight so he's evenly over you.

He obliges your demand, slowly pulling out before sinking fully back into you, finding a slow, methodical rhythm. You sigh in contentment as you roll your hips in time to meet his, a shudder running down your spine as he fills you over and over again. It's such a drastic change from the intensity of the last couple of hours. Adam's shift from Dominant to soft-Dominant is so fast that you swear you should have whiplash. His wings brush against your shoulders, your wings, your sides, and they're so warm! You shiver in pleasure under Adam, throwing yourself off rhythm. You feel his chest rumble with laughter as you try to match his pace again, eyes closed, brows knit in focus. You gasp when he angles just right, hitting deeper in you. You grip his hand tightly, moving the other to his shoulder again in an attempt to pull him closer.

“Shh. There's my good girl. Do you feel good? Like when I hit right there,” he emphasizes his words with a particular hard thrust, hitting your g-spot. You yelp, bucking against him as a result. “Yeah? There?” He slips his wings under you, leaning back and pulling you with him as he sits up. He takes care not to shift too much, keeping himself buried in you as he adjusts you in his lap. He gently pulls his hand out of your grasp, moving to hold your hips as he helps support you, helping rock you back and forth on him. You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in the crook of his neck while you bounce on him. You feel his hands under your thighs, lightly cupping your ass as he helps hold your weight when your legs start to give out. “Can my baby girl give me one more? Think you got one more for me?” He whispers into your hair, leaning his head against yours, bucking up into you as you still, leg muscles too abused to continue your movements. You nod against him, panting as you try to focus on the feeling of him; his smell, his warmth, his familiarity, it all invades your senses and fills you with peace.

Adam holds you steady in his lap as he starts to quicken his pace, losing his rhythm from before. He slips one hand between you both, thumb quickly finding your clit again. You shudder and cry at how sensitive you are, shaking your head against his neck, babbling nonsense. He mumbles soft reassurances in your ear, pulling you down as he thrusts up.

“C'mon, Sugar, cum for Dickmaster. Cum on the Original Dick,” he mutters, pressing a kiss to your temple, fingers digging into your skin. You whimper as Adam hits your g-spot as he talks, giving you that final push over the edge. You cling to him, legs shaking as your body tries to calm while he's still pistoning into you. You feel his other hand move back to under you, helping support you. You dig your hands into the base of his wings, gently tugging and nipping at his ear. He lets out a strangled gasp as his pace falters, getting sloppy. “Gonna fill you up, Babe. Gonna fill you so fucking full,” he growls, biting down on a bruise from earlier, eliciting a mixed cry of pain and pleasure from you. You clench around him as he pulls you down hard, hips stuttering as he groans.

It's quiet, save for the panting coming from you both as you slowly come down from your highs. Adam rubs your hips, kissing the bruises on your neck as you slump on him, hand gently brushing his feathers from where you were gripping them. His wings unfurl from around you, taking their warmth, and causing goosebumps to once again overtake your skin.

“Such a good girl,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your lips as he lays you down, pulling out with a grunt of dismay. You chuckle softly, eyes closing when he lays your head on your pillow. You feel him messing with the collar, can hear the clasp as he undoes it, but you can't be bothered to make a move to assist him. You hear him laugh as he pulls the clasp end, the leather warming your neck as it pulls across your bare skin. You feel the bed dip as he shifts down towards the foot, repeating the motions for both ankle braces that once held the spreader bar.

When he looks back at you, he notices the gentle rise and fall of your chest, signaling you're asleep. He sighs, heading to the bathroom to clean himself and get you a warm washcloth. He steps into the bathroom and grabs the gold washcloth, turning on the tap, waiting for it to warm up. Once he's satisfied with the temperature, he lets the cloth fully soak before wringing it out and returning to you after shutting off the tap. He tries to ask you if you'd be ok with him gently cleaning you. When you don't answer, he snorts out a laugh and gently nudges your legs apart, trying to be as gentle as possible. He tosses the rag into the hamper against the wall, climbing into bed beside you. He tugs you close, slightly surprised when you roll onto his chest. He hums and cradles your head, pressing a kiss to your crown and snapping a blanket over you both.

“Goodnight, sleep well, my Angel,” he says, wings spreading wide and curling them around you.

___________________________________________

(Oh, did you think it was done? Oh no, Sweetheart, there's more. 😘)

The sound of knocking rouses you from your slumber. You groan and nuzzle into the warmth below you, trying to ignore the sound, hoping if you don't answer, whoever it is will go away. The door opening has your eyes snapping open. You move to push yourself up, but two arms wrap around you, keeping you in place. You feel the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. With your back to the door and being trapped under Adam's arms, you won't be able to fight back. A familiar shadow pushes open the cracked door, letting out a sigh at the sight of you. Lute pinches the bridge of her nose as she steps over to the bed, prying Adam's arms off you. She glances at you without a word, eyes trailing from your neck to your back. She crawls onto the bed, fingers quickly unlocking the brace holding your wings.

A gasp escapes you, eyes squeezing shut as you are finally able to move your wings. They're stiff as can be and they kind of hurt from being forced straight for the night. Lute sighs, holding out a hand for you. You take it hesitantly, but curiosity gets the better of you. You trust her, even if you're at your most vulnerable, and nude, in front of your lieutenant. She pulls you off the bed, towards the bathroom where she quickly starts a bath, getting the water set to the perfect temperature.

“Get in,” she orders quietly, sitting on the side of the tub. You blink, tilting your head as you obey her without question, the fire of the last month extinguished with last night's much needed treatment.

“Join me?” you ask, stepping over the side and sitting in the water with her help, wings folding close to your sides. She stares at you before nodding subtly. You watch as she strips and sets her clothes on the counter, grabbing two towels, resting them on the side of the tub.

“Turn around, I'll help you preen,” she offers, stepping into the large tub, sitting behind you. You turn your back to her, head slumping forward as she deftly runs her fingers through your feathers, straightening those that are crooked or twisted. You shudder as her hands work your feathers, and you can't help the whimper that you let out as she continues preening your wings for you. If she heard you, she doesn't say, so you don't mention it, trying to focus on anything else besides the feeling of your feathers being messed with. You grip the side of the tub when you feel her hands massaging the spines of your wings. The warmth from the water and the massage help make them feel a bit better.

“Thank you.” You know you don't have to say it, but you also know it's appreciated. “And, I'm sorry. For being a brat and for taking out my frustration on the other exorcists,” you start to ramble, eyes blurry as tears threatening to fall. Lute spins you around, gently cradling your chin in her hand, forcing you to look her in the eye.

“You're good now? Not going to be trying to harm our exorcists?” When you nod in agreement, she gives you a small smile, a rare gesture she keeps reserved for those close to her. “Good. Once you're done here, meet me at the compound,” she continues, stepping out and wrapping one of the towels around herself. You deadpan.

“You mean I still gotta meet you for those morning trainings?” You whine, eyes following your superior. She sends you a wink, leaning over the side of the tub so she's at eye level.

“Absolutely. Just because you got off the hook easily with Adam, doesn't mean I'm not going to punish you too,” she chides playfully, pressing a swift peck to your lips as she slips her clothes back on. “I'll see you at the compound in twenty minutes.”

She's gone before you can protest. You drop your hands into the water, groaning as you realize just how much of a mess you've made with being a brat.

Fuck! I still have to go apologize to Saint Peter too, you sink into the water, not looking forward to your day.

Taglist: @miss-menhera @fizzy-fuzz @atttwoood

[fanbasetwo]

hiii🫶🏻 could you write something about gyuvin wanting to do it with reader but she’s nervous because she’s virgin so gyu convinced her with just the tip?

✦ JUST THE TIP ┊ GYUVIN

001. PAIRING , experienced ! gyuvin × virgin ! afab reader

002. SYNOPSIS , gyuvin has had a lot of experience in the bedroom compared to you, and you knew it. you didn't think much of it until you two finally decided to get intimate.

003. WARNING(S) , the reader is a virgin, kissing, a little dirty talk (maybe), more of a comfort sex, hymen breaking and blood, petnames, mentions of cumming, NSFW, MDNI, etc, lmk if i missed anything.

004. WORD COUNT , 1.5k

You and Gyuvin were literally partners in crime, even though you two didn't quite match in everything. He was experienced when it came to sex. He had quite the girlfriends. Of course that didn't make you jealous or insecure (maybe) well, not until you two decided to do it.

Now, as you lay there on the bed, the soft sheets caressing your bare skin, you can feel Gyuvin's weight pressing down on you. His muscular body, honed from years of physical training, looms over you, casting a shadow in the dimly lit room. The air is heavy with anticipation, and you can feel your heart pounding in your chest as you gaze up at him.

Gyuvin's eyes, usually so confident and unwavering, now hold a flicker of uncertainty. “Do you not trust me?” he asks softly, his voice barely above a whisper. There's a hint of hurt in his tone, and you can see the concern etched on his chiseled features. The dim lighting casts shadows across his face, highlighting the contours of his jawline and the curve of his lips.

“I do... I do trust you, Gyuvin...” you manage to whisper, your voice trembling with nerves. Your eyes dart to his chest, taking in the sight of his defined pecs, the muscles rising and falling with each breath. You can feel the heat radiating off his body, and it makes your skin tingle with a mixture of excitement and fear.

“I'm just nervous,” you continue, your voice barely audible. “What if I'm not as good as the other girls you've been with?” The question hangs in the air between you, heavy with unspoken fears and insecurities.

Gyuvin sighs, understanding flashing in his eyes. “They don't compare,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The warmth of his mouth against yours sends a shiver down your spine, and you can taste the faint hint of mint on his breath. “What I have with you is different,” he whispers, his voice low and earnest.

You can feel Gyuvin's warm breath on your face as he leans in close, his lips brushing against yours in a gentle kiss. “You know what I mean, right?” he murmurs, his voice low and intimate. The dim lights of the bedroom flicker, casting a soft glow on his chiseled features.

When he sees your hesitation wavering, he makes a suggestion, his voice soft and coaxing. “I'll just put the tip in,” he offers, hoping you'll agree. “If you don't want to go further, just say the word and I'll pull out.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm your racing heart. You trust Gyuvin, you know he loves you, but the fear of not being good enough still lingers in the back of your mind. “Fine,” you mutter, giving him permission to continue.

Gyuvin gently rubs your arms, trying to soothe your nerves as he hooks his fingers into your panties. He slowly slides them down your legs, past your ankles, and onto the floor. You're still wearing your top, and he doesn't want to remove it, sensing your discomfort at being fully exposed.

He kicks off his own boxers, revealing his already hard length, the tip glistening with precum. Your own folds are slick with arousal, and you can feel the heat building between your legs. Gyuvin keeps his movements slow and gentle, mindful of your virginity.

He places his hand on your cheek, caressing your skin with his calloused fingers. “I love you,” he whispers, his voice filled with emotion. “You're so pretty.” He peppers your face with soft kisses, his lips trailing from your forehead to your nose to your chin.

With the utmost care, Gyuvin guides his tip to your entrance, the head of his cock nudging against your tight ring of bundles. He had promised to only put the tip in, and he keeps his word. There's a small pop as your hymen breaks, a trickle of blood seeping out and staining the sheets below.

“FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!” You let out a cry of pain, squeezing your eyes shut as the sharp sensation of your hymen tearing courses through your body. Gyuvin's strong hands grip your hips, holding you steady as he gentles you through the momentary discomfort.

“Shh, I've got you baby,” he soothes, peppering tender kisses across your face as if to chase away the tears that have begun to fall. “Just breathe, it'll be okay.”

You focus on the rise and fall of your chest, trying to calm your racing heart. Underneath the pain, you can feel an unfamiliar fullness, a stretching sensation as Gyuvin's tip remains nestled inside your tight heat. It's overwhelming, the foreign intrusion making you clutch at his shoulders for support.

“Do you want me to pull out?” Gyuvin asks softly, his eyes searching yours for any sign of distress. Even now, with your virginity claimed, he's still putting your comfort first. He would withdraw if you asked, no questions.

But as the pain begins to ebb, replaced by a growing ache, you find yourself shaking your head. “No... Please... Stay,” you manage to murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. “I...”

You can't even finish the thought, your mind too hazy with sensation to string together a coherent sentence. All you know is that you don't want him to leave, not when you've finally given yourself to him completely.

Gyuvin's answering smile is tender, almost reverent. “I'm here, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere.” With infinite care, he begins to rock his hips, slowly easing himself deeper into your clenching heat. Inch by inch, he fills you, stretching you open on his thick length. Each thrust is careful, measured, giving you time to adjust to the unfamiliar sensation.

And all the while, he keeps up a stream of soft endearments and praise, telling you how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, how perfect you feel wrapped around him. The words wash over you like a soothing balm, easing the ache in your chest even as the pleasure builds between your legs.

By the time Gyuvin is fully sheathed inside you, you're both panting heavily, your bodies slick with sweat. The initial pain has faded, replaced by a deep, throbbing ache that pulses in time with your racing heart. It's a strange feeling, being so utterly filled, stretched to the limit around Gyuvin's thick girth.

“How are you feeling, baby?” he murmurs, his voice rough with restrained passion. His hands stroke soothingly up and down your sides, gently kneading the tense muscles. “Tell me if it's too much.”

You shake your head, not wanting him to stop. “It feels... strange,” you admit, your voice trembling slightly. “But not bad. Just... a lot.”

Gyuvin chuckles softly, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “That's normal, sweetheart. It'll get better, I promise.”

Slowly, carefully, he begins to move. Each thrust is shallow, letting you adjust to the new sensations. You can feel every ridge and vein of his cock dragging along your inner walls, stoking the embers of pleasure that are beginning to ignite in your core.

As Gyuvin picks up the pace, the ache starts to transform into something else entirely. It's still intense, bordering on overwhelming, but now there's a hint of something else beneath it. A spark of heat, a flutter of anticipation. Your body starts to move with his, instinctively seeking more of the delicious friction.

“That's it, just like that,” Gyuvin encourages, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. “You're doing so well, baby. Taking me so perfectly.”

His praise washes over you, fueling the growing fire in your veins. You feel powerful, desirable, utterly cherished. Like you're the most precious thing in the world to Gyuvin in this moment.

The pleasure builds with each thrust, each drag of Gyuvin's hard length against your sensitive walls. Your hips rise to meet his, urgently seeking more of the delicious friction. The wet sounds of your coupling fill the room, a lewd symphony that spurs you both on.

Gyuvin's hands roam your body, mapping out every curve and dip. He cups your breasts, thumbs teasing your nipples into stiff peaks. He trails kisses along your jaw, your neck, your collarbone, leaving a trail of fire in his wake. Each touch, each caress, serves to heighten your arousal, pushing you closer to the edge.

“That's it, baby,” Gyuvin pants, his voice ragged with desire. “Take everything I give you. You're so fucking perfect.”

His words send a shiver down your spine, igniting something primal within you. You wrap your legs around his waist, using the leverage to pull him even deeper. The new angle has Gyuvin groaning, his hips snapping forward with renewed vigor.

The pleasure is unlike anything you've ever experienced. It's all-consuming, overwhelming, threatening to drown you in its intensity. Your nails rake down Gyuvin's back, leaving crescent marks in their wake. You cling to him, anchor yourself to his solid strength as the world spins out of control.

“Gyuvin, I... I think...” you gasp, your voice barely recognizable to your own ears. Your thighs tremble, your core clenching around him like a vice. You're so close, teetering on the precipice of something massive.

“That's it, sweetheart,” Gyuvin urges, his thrusts becoming erratic. “Let go for me. Come all over my cock. I want to feel you explode.”

NOTE : i’m not sure if you wanted me to write a fic over 1k words but I found this request interesting so i followed through. this took me a while to write but here you go! thank you for the request anon <3

© 2024 all rights reserved to fanbasetwo !

[julesclues]

Battlefield Bonds

Warnings: war (I feel like that’s a given), gun shot wound, clean up of an injury

Pairing(s): Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader

Word count: 7.3k

Notes: your code name is “Phoenix” and Soap has a wife and kid

a/n, might do a part two to this, but it's not necessarily needed. pls lmk if you want another part! if enough people want another part, then I'll do one. Until then, enjoy!

Summary: After Graves betrays the team, everyone is split up. You manage to escape with Soap, but he has some bad news: Ghost is no where to be found. Determined to not leave him behind, you venture out into the corrupt town with nothing but fear and a pocket knife. But, of course, something always has to go wrong.

Driving up to the base, you can feel something is wrong as the car comes to a stop. You turn to Ghost sitting in the driver’s seat, but his eyes are drawn to the situation at hand. You turn back, seeing Graves and the other Shadows exit the vehicle. Everyone else has the same idea, including you and Ghost.

“What’s this?” Alejandro asks, pointing at Graves with confusion. You turn to Ghost and he looks at you, shaking his head ever so slightly. “This is the immediate future,” Graves replies. “Step away from the gate.” Two Shadows exit the back of the vehicle you and Ghost were in. They both stand behind the two of you, weapons in hand. Ghost looks over his shoulder, and back to you, and you could tell he was aware something was about to go down. Something was definitely wrong. “What?” Soap asks, walking up behind Alejandro, eyes trained on Graves. “You heard me,” Graves says in a monotone voice. “You’re crazy,” Alejandro claims with a shrug. “This is my base.” 

“It’s not a base. This is a sizeable convert facility and I admire it,” Graves says with slight amusement in his voice. “So, I’m taking it. You all have been relived. Thank you for your service.” Immediately, Alejandro takes a step closer to Graves. You could feel your heart racing now, not sure how this was going down, nor what Graves’ intentions were. “No, I don’t take orders from you.” You could also feel the anger radiating off of Alejandro. Ghost was pissed too, his body tense and ready for any violence about to take place. “Didn’t Valeria say that? Now that makes me wonder what else I don’t know about your affiliation with a drug-lord.” Alejandro looks back at Soap with a chuckle and steps forward. “What the fuck did you just say to me, pendjo..?” 

Soap grabs Alejandro’s shoulder before he could do anything. “You’re out of line, Graves,” Soap speaks up. “This is ridiculous!” You yell from the side of the car, Ghost eyeing you, and a Shadow behind you taking a tiny step forward. “Don’t do that. Don’t.. do that.” Graves points to you and Soap. “No one needs to get hurt here.” 

“Are you threatening us?” Asks Ghost, his voice echoing through the dead of night. “Solider, I don’t make threats. I make guarantees. So let’s not do this.” 

You scoff and throw your hands in the air, walking toward Alejandro and Soap. Eyes locked on Graves, you shake your head. “You’re a disgrace to the army, Graves. I’m calling Shepherd.” Turning your back, you begin to walk back to Ghost and the car. 

“General Shepherd sends his regards.” 

You stop dead in your tracks, eyes widening and now on Ghost. He tilts his head slightly, hand on his side and very close to his pistol. “He told me ya’ll wouldn’t take this well.” 

“He knows about this?” Ghost asks in disbelief as you turn around to face Graves yet again. “Ya’ll need to stand down. It’s time to let the pros finish this. And why the hell are we talking like this is some kind of negotiation? It’s not. I’ve got my orders, and now you have yours.” Ghost goes to walk up to you, but a Shadow grabs his shoulder, holding him in place. You take note of this. 

“And who the fuck do you think you are, cabrón?” Raising his voice, Alejandro points to his base. “My men are inside!” 

“I’m afraid not,” Graves smiles. “Your men have been.. detained.”

Angry and betrayed, Alejandro lunges toward Graves but a Shadow stops him, throwing him against the car and knocking him out with the end of his gun. They zip tie his hands, leaving him trapped. “Graves, what the fuck?!” You yell, as Soap retreats from the gun fire. He grabs a Shadow to use as a body shield. Ghost elbows the shadow behind him, as you grab you side gun and spin, shooting the one behind you. Ghost throws a knife at a Shadow too close for comfort, and grabs your wrist, throwing both you and him to the floor for cover. 

Graves shoots the Shadow Soap was using as a shield, catapulting him to the ground. You could see him from the other side of underneath the car, scrambling for his gun and injured. “Go to Soap,” Ghost says to you, but you scoff. “No, why would I leave you?”

“He’s injured, I’m not. Go Phoenix! That’s an order.”

“Sir-”

“Go.”

Scoffing yet again, you crawl behind the car and up to Soap, helping roll the guy off and helping him up. Ghost follows behind, the red tail light of the car illuminating his mask. “Go, now! Both of you, get out of there.” 

“Ghost-!”

“Y/n, now!”

Panting, you look at Soap as he grabs your hand and leads you to the woods. Hesitant, you follow. You both slide down the slippery slope, as gun fire follows. “Fuck,” Soap hisses, holding his side. Then, nothing but silence. 

Minutes turn into hours as you and Soap find an empty house to hold up. “What the fuck is going on?” You ask, running your hands through your hair, as Soap grunts, sitting down on the nearest chair. He doesn’t respond, but keeps trying comms, as he has been for the past two hours. Yours had been destroyed by the gunfire. 

“This is Bravo 7-1 in the blind along with Phoenix.. How copy?” Silence.

“Still nothing?” You ask. He shakes his head. “I’m starting to lose hope,” he chuckles. But he’s not joking at all. 

All of a sudden, static is heard from his radio. “Bravo 7-1 this is Bravo 0-6, how copy?” Your eyes widen along with Soap’s, and you smile widely. “Price, thank god. We’re alive, I’m with Phoenix.”

“Lovely to hear. Spoke to Laswell, Shepherd’s off the grid. We’ll speak more when my evac team comes to pick you up. We’re five minutes out.” Soap lets out a sigh of relief but you’re a little more guarded.

“Sir,” you start, directed toward Price. “What about the others? Alejandro was taken and Ghost.. well, we don’t know where he is. We need to look for him.”

“Negative, Phoenix. I’m sending an evac team, not a rescue squad. I’m afraid they’re on their own.” You scoff and look at Soap. He looks down.

“That’s bullshit!”

“I don’t like it anymore than you do, I’m all for no man left behind. But we need to be in good shape if we’re going to save the others.”

“They won’t make it if we don’t start a rescue mission now,” you hiss. “Phoenix-“ Soap starts, but you ignore him. “No, I won’t do it. I won’t leave them behind. Price, if not now, when is the next evac chopper available?” He pauses for a brief second before answering you. “Not for another week, Phoenix. With Shepard off the grid, we’re low on supplies and men… two minutes out. We’ll talk when my team gets to you, over and out.” You turn to Soap and shake your head with a sigh. He speaks up. “Y/n, Ghost is not answering comms. We have no idea where he is, and evac is about to be here. We have to go.” You shove Soap lightly, remembering he’s injured and run your hands over your face due to stress. “No way in hell, Soap! I’m not leaving him!” 

“Phoenix-”

“He’s our lieutenant- fuck that, he’s our friend! It’s Simon for fucks sake! I’m not leaving him!” You’ve never called Ghost by his real name before. Soap knows you’re serious. “I don’t want to leave him either but another evac chopper won’t be available for another week! You heard Price. I have a wife and kid at home, and our chances out here for another seven hours, let alone seven days, is slim to none. You and I both know it.” You give Soap a death stare as you both hear the evac chopper approach. You understand where he’s coming from, and if you were in the same situation, perhaps you would’ve made the same choice. 

But you weren’t. No one was waiting for you at home. Your only family was Task Force 141. 

“Then I’ll take my chances. I’m going after him.” 

Sighing, Soap nods and grabs your shoulders. “Please be careful. Between the Shadows and the weather.. I mean, it’s pishin a doon out here.” 

“..English, MacTavish.”

“It’s raining fucking hard.” You chuckle at the voice change and grab his hand on your shoulder. “I’ll see you in a week, Johnny,” you yell, due to the chopper landing. Before boarding the chopper, Soap takes out his comms and hands it to you. “So you can stay in touch with us all, and potentially find Ghost.” You nod at him, symbolizing a ‘thank you.’ Soap grabs Price’s hand to get on the chopper and turns back to you. “Be safe Y/n.” 

You salute both him and the Captain, and watch them fly away to safety. Taking a deep inhale, you set off to the town to find your lieutenant. “Ghost, it’s Phoenix? Do you copy?” Silence, yet again. “Fuck,” you whisper. You walk into the town, and instantly hear a bunch of Shadows along with gunfire and screams. With only fear and a pocket knife, you make your way into an empty home, searching for anything and everything that could help increase your chances of survival. And, of course, finding Ghost. 

“Soap? Phoenix? How copy?”

His deep voice in your ear startles you, but you don’t hesitate to respond. “Ghost! Fuck, I thought I- we lost you.” 

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, Phoenix. Where’s Johnny?”

“He left,” you say. “Price and his evac team arrived and Soap went with them.” 

“Why didn’t you go too?” 

“Guess I just can’t live without you, Lieutenant.” 

Ghost pauses before replying with a question. “You stayed behind to look for me?”

“Affirmative.” 

“Wrong choice, soldier.”

“We’ll talk about that when I see you, sir. For now, let me just get to you. Where are you?”

“The church on the north side of town. Shadow activity is silent.”

“Silent? Where are they all?”

“Hell.”

You chuckle at Ghost’s comment. “I’m coming to you, sir. Just stay where you are, I think I’m close to the north side of town.” Ghost doesn’t reply, mainly because you don’t give him a chance to. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m alive,” he replies. “You?” You smile to yourself, making your way through the houses as a way to cover yourself from being too much in the open. “I’m alive,” you say, repeating his words. 

Walking in the town surrounded by enemies didn’t seem to bad now that you had Ghost to guide you. You two had never really gotten a chance to know each other. That was mainly because of the fact that he was laid back and silent half of the time.

“Two goldfish are in a tank…”

“What?” He repeats himself, word for word. “Go on..”

“One turns to the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?”” You chuckle and shake your head, though you know he can’t see you. “Little army humor.”

“Very little.”

“We can do this all night, L/n.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of, sir.” And you swear, for the first time ever, Ghost actually laughs. Well, maybe it was more of a chuckle, but that counts. You made Ghost laugh. That’s a win in your book. You can’t wait to tell the rest of your team. “Location?” He asks, distracting you from your thoughts. “I’m in the coffee shop.”

“Get us a tea, yeah?”

“Tequila sounds better right about now.”

“I’d murder for a whisky.”

“You mean scotch?”

“I drink bourbon.”

“Like a good boy.” He’s silent now, and you cringe the second the words come out of your mouth. “Sorry sir, that was—“

“Always have confidence, L/n. Don’t apologize for speaking. If you say bourbon means I’m a good boy, then I guess I am.” You smile to yourself and walk out of the shop, not forgetting to grab a few more supplies on the way out. After a couple moments you say, “You’re gonna owe me for this.”

“Why?”

“We’re fixing each other’s problems.”

“What’s my problem?”

“The mask… take it off.”

“Show my face?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Negative.”

“Are you ugly?”

“Quite the opposite.” You laugh a little too loud for someone whose on a stealth mission. You feel your face heat up a bit, and can’t help but wonder what he actually looks like underneath the mask. It’s killing you to know. “Guess you’re taking your ‘confidence’ advice, huh lieutenant?”

“Just speaking the truth, Y/n.” Boy if you weren’t flushed before, you definitely were now. The way he says your name in a low, hushed voice brings heat to your cheeks in an instant. “Location?”

“I can see the church now. I’m exiting the green house across the street. Do you see it, sir?” Before he could answer, you open the door but you’re knocked down by a Shadow.

“I got one sir! It’s Phoenix!” You scramble to get your knife but the Shadow steps on your hand, kicking the knife away. “Kill her,” you hear Graves yell from half a klick away. The Shadow points his gun at you and you close your eyes to prepare for the inevitable. But it doesn’t come, as a shot is heard and the Shadow above you falls forward, landing on you. You take his gun and shove him off of you, taking cover by the fountain in front of the church.

“Was that you Ghost?”

“Who else?”

“Thank you sir. I’m approaching the front of the church as we speak.”

“Coming out now, Phoenix. Watch your fire.”

Your gaze never leaves the front of the church, and soon enough, your eyes lands on Ghost. You let out a sigh of relief, watching him run toward you and throw himself over the fence to meet you at the stairs. “Ghost!” You yell with joy, but he grabs your hand and leads you down the stairs with him. “We need a vehicle! On me L/n.” He lets go of your hand and you’re right on his tail, running through the town having almost every Shadow after you. Ghost finds a pickup truck and you turn, shooting some more to try anything and everything to escape.

“Get in Phoenix!” He yells. He jumps into the drivers seat but before he could get in, he's dragged out by a Shadow. Before thr guy could even get his hands on Ghost, you shot the Shadow right between the eyes. "Thanks for that," Ghost says, a bit out of breath. "No probl-"

As you open the passenger door, however, you’re tackled by a Shadow and begin to brawl on the ground. “Get the fuck off me!” You scream, fighting the guy above you. He grabs his pistol and points it toward the right side of your torso and smirks. He pins your wrists above your head using of his hands, and your eyes go wide.

You hear a gun shot, quickly followed by another, and the guy above you falls on top of you. But you’re frozen and every sound around you is muffled. You hear Ghost calling your name and pushing the guy off of you. Just then, your hearing comes back into focus but an intense pain shoots through your entire body.

You were shot.

Before Ghost was able to kill the guy, that fucker had shot you. And shit, did it hurt like hell.

You whimper out as Ghost kneels down besides you. “Fuck,” he curses. “We gotta get out of here. Can you walk?” He asks, cupping your face with his hand. You had already begun to feel lightheaded by the blood loss but managed to nod your head anyways. Ghost nods too and lifts you up on your feet, causing you to wobble and yelp in pain.

“Get into the car. I got you, don’t you dare pass out L/n. If you can walk, then fucking walk!” Your head was pounding as you lifted yourself into the passenger side of the car, slamming the door shut. Once it’s closed, Ghost slams on the gas and you fly back into the seat, groaning and putting your hand on your wound to try and stop the bleeding as best as possible. Still, blood seeps through the gaps between your fingers. “Fuck,” you hiss, and Ghost glances you at while speeding away. You look in the rear view mirror and realize you’re not being followed anymore, letting out a sigh of relief. Ghost slows down a bit, now just driving along the abandoned highway, still on the look out but also paying attention to you.

“How’re you doing, Phoenix?” He asks, as you adjust in your seat. You let out a long exhale and blink slowly, wanting to fall asleep. “Hurts like hell,” you say, slurring your words slightly. As you push against the wound and fight to stay awake, Ghost pulls up to a safe house. He gets out of the car and your eyes follow him as he rushes to your side of the car, opening the door. He reaches over you and pulls your seat belt off. Your right hand goes behind his neck and he hooks his arm underneath your legs to carry you.

You whimper in pain as he lifts you, closing the door with his foot. “Ghost..” you whisper, and he looks down at you. “Don’t fall asleep,” is all he has to say as he rushes to the safe house. “Where are we?” You manage to mumble out. “Alejandro’s safe house. He gave me the coordinates, it was need to know.”

“What if I needed to know?”

“Shh. Let’s just worry about getting you fixed up, yeah?”

“So you do care about me?”

“I care about you alive.”

You chuckle softly as he enters the house. Empty and dark, he finds a near by table to prop you down on. You grunt, adjusting yourself on the table as he scouts the area to make sure no one is with you guys. Once the area is deemed to be clear, he looks for supplies to clean you up. You feel yourself blink slowly and look around.

You vision is somewhat dark as you feel yourself wanting to just go to sleep. Just for an hour, and you’ll be back on your feet in no time. But before you can do that, Ghost comes back and makes eye contact with you. “Permission to lift your shirt?” Ghost asks, and you chuckle slightly. “Affirmative, sir. You can peak if you want. You deserve it for helping me.” You smirk as you slur your words and Ghost just sighs. “You’re definitely out of it, Phoenix.” He lifts up your shirt right below your chest and you breathe heavily. He examines the wound, his fingertips grazing around the wound, not touching it. It still hurt, so you groaned out and lifted your left arm above your head.

As Ghost’s eyes were glued on your injury, yours were glued on his face. The mask didn’t show much at all, except for his eyes. You couldn’t even tell what his face structure was, or what color his hair was. It could be blue for all you know. But his eyes.. His eyes gave away his emotions almost immediately.

He was scared.

Ghost‘s eyes were always cold, always empty and filled with no emotion whatsoever. But now, for some reason, he let himself show emotion, show his, some what, vulnerable side.

Honestly, you didn’t think the guy was afraid of anything.

He turns back to the supplies he was able to obtain and you close your eyes momentarily. You were scared too, of course. Sure, you were a solider, a fighter. But that doesn’t mean you had a death wish. You wanted to go back home and lay down on your bed, watching stupid reality shows that meant absolutely nothing.

He turns back around with bandages, surgical forceps, and gauze. “I’m gonna start now, okay darling?” You scoff with a smile, looking up at him. “You pull up my shirt and now you call me darling? Seems like we’re getting somewhere, Lieutenant.”

“Are you always this flirty when you’re on the brink of dying?”

“Only with you, sir.” He exhales and so do you. “I’m ready. Just please, try not to kill me, alright?” 

“No promises,” he says as he nods slightly and brings the gauze to your wound, making contact with it. You hiss in pain, arching your back slightly and shutting your eyes. The gauze absorbed your blood almost immediately, causing Ghost to quickly replace them with clean ones. After a couple minutes of this, Ghost grabs the forceps and breathes deeply.

He brings the forceps to you wound, and begins digging for the bullet. You bite down on your hand, making teeth marks in your skin to try and muffle your sounds. “You can scream, we’re safe. They won’t hear you,” Ghost says with slight concern in his voice. You immediately start to scream in pain as Ghost looks for the bullet in your torso. “Fuck! Please- oh god, it hurts so bad! Fuck, I can’t- oh god Ghost, stop!”

He immediately stops, halting his actions but not removing the forceps. “I can’t stop, Phoenix. I need to keep going. We need this bullet out.” Tears pour down your face as you look up at Ghost. Whispering, you speak to him.

“I don’t want to die, Simon.”

His eyes go wide, surprised that you said his real name. Normally he wouldn’t let anyone say his name, but it sounded different with you. He liked it.

He brings his hand to your cheek as a sign of comfort. “Then let me do this. I know it hurts, trust me, I know. But I don’t want you to die either. If I get this bullet out, you’ll be okay.”

“You promise?”

“I promise, Y/n.” You knew he was making a promise he couldn’t guarantee, but it still reassured you. You huffed in frustration and pain, allowing Ghost to continue his work on you. The forceps moved again, making you yelp in pain. Ghost was mumbling half to himself and half to you. He repeated the words “I’m sorry” and “You’re okay” like a mantra. But you barley heard him. Between the pain and your screams, your hearing was muffled. 

Sooner or later, you gasped as you felt Ghost retract the forceps. Your eyes shot open and landed on the bloody bullet between the tongs. “Gotcha,” he whispered. “Oh thank god,” you chuckled, feeling woozy and tired. You heard the bullet fall into a metal bowl, but as Ghost’s face appeared above you, you saw your vision fading. “Simon,” you slurred. “Stay with me, Phoenix. Hey, don’t sleep.” But you couldn’t do it. The blood loss was too much. 

Within seconds, you had passed out. 

～～

Your eyes flutter open, instantly squinting as you make contact with an overhead light. You groan, feeling a comfortable mattress underneath you. You go to sit up, but instantly yell out in pain, almost forgetting of the injury on your side. Your head hits the mattress again as you fall back. Sitting up was too painful. But you were alive. Your mind wandered to Ghost, wondering where he was and how the hell he managed to save your life once you had passed out. 

You were ripped from your thoughts as you felt the bed next to you shift. Your head snaps toward that direction, and your eyes land on Ghost. He was sitting up next to you, armor still on and gun directly on the nightstand next to him. “Phoenix? You’re awake? Are you okay?” Bombarded with questions, you begin to chuckle, meeting his eyes. “I’m still hurting bad, but I’m alive. That’s gotta count for something, right sir?” He stayed silent, just watching you with squinted eyes. You felt bad that he had to save and fix you. “I’m sorry,” you apologize, closing your eyes in guilt. “Between you having to save me from that guy, then having to carry me and fix my wounds? Not to mention me passing out. I.. I didn’t mean to put you in that position, Ghost. I’m sorry.” By this time, you open your eyes and find that he has his face rested in his hands, elbows on his knees. He turns to you and places a hand on your thigh, causing goosebumps to appear on your skin. 

“Did you purposely get shot?” He asks nonchalantly. Confused, you shake your head. “Then don’t worry about it. You didn’t get shot on purpose, and you didn’t die. If anything, I’m.. I’m sorry. You stayed back because of me.” You put your hand on top of his on your thigh and smile softly, feeling extremely tired. “You didn’t force me to stay back, sir. It was my decision. We saved each other in a way, if you think about it. How about we call it even?” Even under the mask, you could tell he smiled ever so slightly. “I like the sound of that.” 

Ghost stands up and grabs his gun, keeping it on his possession. “How long was I out?” You ask, turning your head to face him. “About a couple hours. We need an evac chopper though, need to get you to a real medic. You need a blood transfusion and I can’t do that here. Don’t have the supplies.” 

You wince, feeling the wound throb a bit. “Another evac chopper won’t be here for a week,” you admit. He turns to you quickly in disbelief. “Price told me when he came to pick up Soap.” Ghost curses and sits down on a chair across the room, still in sight. “You won’t make it that long,” he says angrily. “You should’ve gone with them, Phoenix. Fuck, you should’ve just left me and went back safely.” You scoff and roll your eyes. “I wasn’t going to, and there was nothing you could say or do that would’ve made me leave.” 

“I would’ve ordered you to leave with Johnny.” 

“I wouldn’t have.” 

“You would disobey a direct order?” 

“If it meant saving your life, then yes. I would.”

Ghost stayed silent, lifting his skull mask above his face to just leave him in his balaclava. You were able to see his eyes more properly. They were beautiful and you were always going to think that. You’d probably never tell him though. Telling your lieutenant that he has pretty eyes? A little awkward.

“You’re delusional, L/n,” he shoots back. You could tell he was conflicted and honestly, so were you. Sure, you weren’t going to leave him behind. Even if he was one of the best soldiers you’ve ever seen and could easily take care of himself, you didn’t want to abandon him. You didn’t want him to be alone. “Would you have done the same for me?” You ask, and without hesitation, he replies yes. “So why is it so unbelievable that I would do it for you?” He ignored your question and grabbed his radio, trying to reach someone. He obviously didn’t want to talk, so you didn’t pressure him. This was a conversation for later.

“Ghost to Price, how copy?” After a couple of seconds, radio static is heard. “Ghost, good to hear from you. Phoenix with you?” Ghost turns to you and makes eye contact. He doesn’t break it as he responds to Price. “Affirmative, but she’s injured, lost a lot of blood. She won’t make it if we don’t get an evac team here soon.” You cringe at Ghost’s bluntness about your death, but you knew he couldn’t sugarcoat anything. This was a legit life or death situation. “Shepard’s off the grid, we only have one chopper available. Men and supplies are insanely limited, everything has gone to shit. Getting an evac chopper and team to you guys is easier said than done. We don’t-“

“I’m not asking, Price.” Ghost cuts off Price, and silence lingers in the air, along with his anger. “I am your Captain and superior, Lieutenant. You will treat me as such or we’ll have problems.” Ghost scoffs and paces through the room, your eyes following his every movement as you listen to their conversation. “No. We’ll have problems if Y/n doesn’t get a blood transfusion within the next seventy-two hours. If she dies Captain, it’s on you.”

“Ghost, I understand the safety and well-being on your fellow soldiers is important to you, but understand when I say that it can’t be done.” Ghost shakes his head, though Price can’t see it. “Ghost maybe you should-“ You start, but he shoots you a glare that shuts you up instantly. There was no changing his mind on this. He was very persistent and wasn’t going to stop until he got you back to safety. “Can’t be done or won’t be done, Captain?”

“Can’t. We only have one chopper throughout the entire force right now. One.”

“And where is that chopper now?” Price was silent, which confused you and Ghost. So, he repeated his question. “On the ground at our base.”

“So why the fuck can’t you use that chopper to come to us?”

“If Graves’ or Shepard’s location is confirmed, we need it to go after them. We are prioritizing.”

“This is horseshit!” Ghost yells, slamming his fist on the desk, making you jump. “You’re willing to sacrifice Y/n’s life in order to get back at Graves and Shepard?! You’re a piss poor of a Captain. I thought we leave no man behind, under no circumstances.” Price is silent, as if he was thinking about Ghost’s words and what to do. You understand where both Price and Ghost were coming from. The circumstances were unlike no other, everyone was confused.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll radio back in an hour to let you know about an evac team. Just.. just keep her alive Ghost, okay?” You smile as Ghost turns to you and gives you a thumbs up. “Affirmative, sir. Over and out.” You try to sit back up with some struggle, and Ghost rushes over to you to help you. “Easy there,” he mumbles, but you manage to do it. You were breathing a little heavy from the lingering pain in your torso and the blood still seeping out of you. The bleeding had slowed down greatly but Ghost was right. With no help soon, your chances of making it would be slim to none.

“Why’d you do that?” You ask Ghost. He stays silent for a moment. He wasn’t even sure himself why we was so persistent and angry with Price. He would never challenge a superior like that.

“You asked if I would do the same for you. This isn’t quite the same, but Price might have my head on a stick for speaking to him in such a way. I risked my life for you.” You try not to laugh so hard at his words in fear of the injury pain. “I’m glad you’re laughing,” he says, making you tilt your head in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“You got betrayed by Graves, stayed back in a town where your chances of getting killed are high, proceeded to get shot, lost a shit ton of blood, and if help isn’t here within three days, you won’t make it. All within a span of fifteen hours. And yet.. you’re smiling and laughing. I don’t get it.” You hum, looking down at your hands and picking at your fingernails. “I don’t know, I guess I just..” You look up at Ghost and smile sadly.

“You make me happy, I guess. I don’t know. I mean, even when you were fixing me up before, I was making stupid flirty comments with you. And even before that, I called you a good boy for liking bourbon. I guess you just being with me and by my side makes me feel a little better about being in a fucking war against not only the bad guys, but the Shadows too. Everything has gone to shit. Since Graves betrayed us, I’ve been scared about who to trust, questioning everyone. But you? I’ve never doubted you once. You helping me survive, fighting Price just to get me to safety, reassuring me with kind words even though a couple minutes before you were threatening your Captain. It makes me feel good. You make me feel good. So yeah, if these are my last days, it’ll be filled with pain and agony but at least you’ll be there with me, Simon.”

Ghost just looks at you, but his eyes give away nothing. He was silent, which caused you to become a little anxious and regretful for your words. “Y/n-“

“Price to Ghost, do you copy?” Startled, Ghost scrambled to grab the radio and respond. Great fucking timing. “This is Ghost, go ahead sir,” he says, clearing his throat and shaking his head slightly. “Good news. An evac chopper will be at your location in the next ten hours. Looks like Phoenix won’t be six feet under any time soon after all.”

“Don’t jinx me, Captain,” you yell from the bed. Price chuckles quietly. “Ghost,” he starts. “I’m glad I got the confirmation from Laswell to come and pick you guys up. But if you ever dispute with me again, I will fight you myself.”

“You’ll lose, Captain.”

“What was that?”

“…I said yes sir. I understand.”

“Oh and one more thing Ghost. Though I didn’t like how you spoke to me one bit, we’re a team. Phoenix is injured, and death is a pretty permanent thing. If you didn’t speak to me the way you did, this most likely wouldn’t be going your way. You did good, Lieutenant. I can tell you care about her. See you soon, over and out.”

Simon didn’t like the feeling he felt when Price admitted he noticed the care for you. Ghost didn’t like to be vulnerable. So the fact that you’ve been able to tear down his brick walls without him even noticing made him cringe with uncomfortable feelings. “He’s right, you know,” you say, pulling him away from his thoughts. “What?”

“About it all. Well, I don’t know how much you care for me,” you chuckle. “It’s kind of ethically wrong if you’re in the army and let me die. But otherwise, he’s right. You did good, stood your ground.” Ghost scoffs and walks over to the window, pulling down the blinds with his two fingers to look outside. He chooses to stay silent, mainly because he genuinely doesn’t know what to say.

The words you said before Price interrupted flood into his mind. The fact that you could care about and trust him without ever even seeing his face was beyond his comprehension. He may be one of the smartest and logical people out there, but you will always confuse him more than he’d like to admit. He just can’t seem to figure you out.

The room is filled with a silence. Comfortable, but still quiet. All that is heard is the muffled gunfire outside, flooding the town with each passing minute. That is, until your mattress creaks as you try to swing your feet over the left side of the bed in order to make an attempt to stand.

The sound catches Ghost’s attention and in less than a second, he’s by your side. “What do you think you’re doing?” You grunt, still trying your best to move without any pain. “Bathroom,” is all you say before Ghost sighs, yet again, and holds your shoulders to keep you in place. “Can you walk?” He asks, and you exhale. “Yeah,” you lie. “You’re a shitty liar,” he remarks, making you smile slightly. “I can do this myself. I’m a soldier, a gunshot wound won’t kill me.” He shakes his head, mainly due to annoyance. “Without me, you would’ve died.” You chuckle dryly, holding your side with a cough. “You give yourself too much credit.”

“What happened to you saying I helped you survive?”

“Oh, so you did listen to that whole speech I gave before.”

“Didn’t really have a choice, L/n.”

“You could’ve walked out of the room, Riley.” You pause briefly and after realizing he isn’t responding, you speak up. “I have a theory that you liked what I said.” Now, it was his turn to chuckle. “What makes you so sure?” He asks in a low voice. “When Price interrupted our wonderful moment,” he rolls his eyes, “you cleared your throat and shook your head. I think I made you flustered.”

“I don’t get flustered.”

“You’re a shitty liar.” You repeat his words from before. “What happened to you needing to use the bathroom?” He tries to change the subject, mainly because you were spot on. He was flustered with what you said about him. No one’s ever been so nice to him. Saying that they trust him, that they care about him. It was riveting, to say the least.

“Oh yeah,” you giggle, and use his arm for stability to stand. When you do, however, your knees buckle and you almost fall down if it wasn’t for Ghost. “Fuck,” you whisper. “I hate feeling like this,” you sigh, but all Ghost does is look at you and help you up. He wraps his arm around your waist, careful not to make contact with your wound. You wrap your left arm around his back and limp to the bathroom on the floor. “I’m glad you spoke up to Price,” you admit, making your way to the bathroom. “Me too,” Ghost says. “I’m glad we’re getting you the help you need.” You could hear the smile in his voice. You were glad he was around and though you were stuck in a sticky situation, at least you were with him.

After making it to the bathroom with Ghost’s help, you both decided to rest some more and wait for help to arrive. You deserved to rest with the long day you had. After sleeping and resting for what seemed like days, you felt someone shake you. Startled, your eyes shoot open with a gasp. “Hey, it’s just me,” you hear Ghost whisper. “Price is here with the evac team. Let’s get the fuck outta here, yeah?” You smile up at him and grab his hand that was on your shoulder. “Thank fucking god.”

“Good to see you alive and well,” Price yells because of the loud sounds from the chopper. “Alive, yes. Well, not so much. Let’s just get out of here,” you yell back, leaning onto Ghost for support. Price helps you into the chopper by pulling you, while Ghost pushes you from behind. It hurt your wound but you pushed through it, finally making it onto the chopper and into a seat with a sigh of relief. Looking around waiting for Ghost to get on the chopper, you see Gaz and Soap. They salute you and wave, and you smile at them. “Nice to see you again, lass,” Soap says with a smile. “Glad you’re not dead,” he adds. “It feels like I am,” you say. He smiles and leans over to grab your shoulder. “Let’s get you home and fixed, yeah?”

“Sounds like a dream, Johnny.”

～～

Hours later, you all finally make it back to base. You’re instantly brought into the med bay with Ghost and Soap’s help. They slowly drop you down onto a bed and you groan in pain. “You alright, lass?” Soap asks you, and you just smile with your eyes closed and an exhale. “I’ve been better. But this big guy over here helped keep me alive. Ain’t that right, Simon?” You ask, opening your eyes and see that he’s already looking down at you. He puts his hand on your head and pats you lightly. “Get some rest, and please get fixed up for fucks sake. You’ve lost too much blood. I’m gonna go talk to Price.” He then turns to Soap, making eye contact with him as he removes his hand from your head. “If anything changes with her, and I mean anything, you call me. Got it?” Soap nods at his lieutenant, and watches him leave the med bay, leaving you two alone. Soap looks down at you and smiles softly. “You know,” he starts, sitting down next to you as you both wait for the doctor. “You’re the only one he allows to call his first name.” You look at Soap quietly, not really knowing what to say. You chuckle softly and shake your head. “I-I’m sure that’s not true,” you say, but all Soap does is laugh. “It is, lass. Think about it. Have you ever heard anyone else call him his first name?”

You think about it for a brief moment and realize he’s right. And the fact that he never corrected you when you called him Simon? Maybe he didn’t mind you calling him that. Or then again, maybe it was pity. You’re injured, after all. You scoff and shove him lightly. “Shut up,” you chuckle. Before he could respond, the doctor walks in and Soap gets up almost immediately. “I’ll let you get the help you need, a’ight? I’m glad you’re okay.” He pats your head like Ghost did moments before, making you smile. Thanking him, he leaves the room, and you’re able to get the medical help you’ve been longing for.

～～

About ten hours later, you wake up after feeling as if you were hit by a truck. Your eyes flutter open and you look to the side of your bed, eyes falling on a familiar figure. “Morning, solider,” Ghost says, grabbing your hand with his. “Morning,” you repeat with a soft voice, smiling at him. “How’re you feeling?” You blink slowly, not wanting him to let go of your hand anytime soon. “I think I’ll live, thanks to you.” Ghost shakes his head with a scoff. “Nah, it was all you. You’re brave, I’ll give you that.”

“Brave?” You chuckle. “I was scared as shit.” Ghost sighs and let’s go of your hand, making you a bit disappointed. “I.. get that,” he says hesitantly. “I guess I was a little scared too. That you were gonna die.” You gasp and your smile widens. “The Ghost was scared? That I was gonna die? Oh how amazing is this.”

He stays silent, just looking down. You follow his gaze to his arm, IV tape and a bunch of wires connected. He donated his blood for you.

"Oh.." You whisper. "Thank you."

He looks up at you through the mask, but still doesn't say a word.

"You really were scared?" You ask. You weren't necessarily unsure, just in disbelief that Ghost could be scared. Nervous, maybe. But scared just seemed out of the blue.

"Yeah," he says, matter-of-factly. "How could I have not been? You were bleeding all over the place. Didn't know if you were going to.." He closes his eyes for a moment, seemingly remembering what had happened just days before. "I'm sorry I scared you sir," you apologize. But he just shakes his head, not breaking eye contact. "At ease soldier. It's Simon to you." You chuckle. "Right. Well, I'm sorry Simon."

"Apology accepted Y/n."

Maybe eventually he'll tell you exactly why he was so afraid. Maybe someday he'll admit to you that losing you would mean losing himself. Maybe one day he'll confess his feelings for you.

Maybe some day, you'll do the same.

But not today. Not yet, anyways.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

So because apparently both parties in my country oppose trans healthcare to some extent I want to make it very clear to cis people what healthcare they're opposing.

There's a lot of fearmongering about children undergoing medical transition. So I'm gonna walk you through what might happen to a child who is transgender and wants to go the full medical route. Let's say our hypothetical transgender child, I'll make him a him because I'm a him and I'll call him Rat because he named himself when he was 6.

So Rat would probably, unless he experienced precocious puberty, go on hormone blockers at age 9 or 10, a year or two before he would start experiencing puberty just to make sure he doesn't experience any female puberty symptoms. Then at about 13 or 14 he would have an appointment with his doctor and they would decide that he has been sure that he was a boy for many years now and he's at an appropriate age to start puberty, at which point he would be taken off the hormone blockers and put onto a dosage of testosterone that is typically of what his perisex camab peers produce naturally. Because he never produced estrogen he would not have grown breasts and not need top surgery. He would develop exactly how his camab peers develop.

Now I want to put an interlude here that literally all of this is reversible. At any point Rat could change his name back and go off the testosterone jabs and his ovaries would start functioning again and they would produce the appropriate estrogen to give him breasts and hips. He could take the same vocal training classes that trans women take, he could get laser hair removal on the places where appropriate, and it would be as if he'd never been on the hormones at all.

But he doesn't want to do that. He wants a penis so let's move onto that.

As far as surgery goes, he would not be able to have either metoidioplasty or phalloplasty until he was on hormones long enough to experience the necessary bottom growth to occur, which takes a couple of years. (At least that was what I was told in 2016 please lmk if standards have changed since then). So at this point we're already about 16 years old before surgery even comes up as an option at the doctor's office. And Rat, if he is particularly gung ho about getting a penis and his parents can afford it/insurance will pay for it, probably gets put on a waiting list for a consultation with a specialist in genital reconstruction. Let's say at that consult which probably takes a few months minimum to get into, he opts for the most similar to perisex male genitalia: phalloplasty with testicular implants. Right there we're looking at at least three different surgeries and not all of them are going to happen at the same time. He's 17 before he's ever even on the operation table and he's been consistently identified as male since elementary school. This is the fastest possible bottom surgery route I'm laying out for you here and he still not slanging it until senior prom when he'll give it an ill advised test run in the back of his parents Subaru with Kelly from the anime club. All of that is assuming there's a doctor who will do it for him that can fit him in. Some people wait years for surgery.

Now some people get top surgery younger, but guess what, breast implants both exist and can be removed. If a 14 year old gets a double mastectomy and regrets it when they're 23 they can get implants. If a 16 year old gets breast implants and regrets it when they're 20 they can get those taken out. Top surgery is not complicated and I've heard from guys who truely would not have made it if they hadn't gotten theirs done.

I know this won't convince anyone who opposes trans healthcare but I hope it at least explains transition to cis allies who support trans people getting healthcare but still might think minors not being allowed to have surgery is a moderate position. I invite any trans person to add onto this with a MTF perspective or how their surgeries helped them.

[hyukalyptus]

i need to tell you—idol!soobin x gn!reader | besties pining after each other, right person/wrong time, angst.

cw. angst, suggestive but not smutty, kissing, swearing, i think its a gn!reader? pls lmk if it's not and i'll fix it, reader is from LA and is a performer, reader had feelings while in a relationship but never cheated, mentions of a breakup, kinda implied it was a shitty relationship, lmk if there's anything else. notes. please lmk if there's anything that isn't gn! wc. 2.8K

I never thought this last night with you would happen—I’d known for months you’d be going on a three-month long tour soon, but I didn’t want to believe it. You’d fly in from LA, we’d hang out, play video games, and hide our feelings from each other. Then you’d go back to California, we’d text and call as much as we could, you’d come back, and it would all start over. 

But not seeing my best friend for three months, if not longer, sounds terrible. I take all of you in—your chin resting on your knees that are pulled to your chest, the city lights flickering across your face, the shape of your nose, you look stunning as ever. Your lips are squished by your knee pressing up on your chin and god, I wanna kiss you so fucking bad. 

There’s nothing better than being on tour, but part of me wants you here with me forever. 

But I can’t tell you any of this. Our feelings are undeniable but they need to stay a secret. You’re in a relationship—albeit a dead relationship, but a relationship nonetheless. More importantly, though, you’ll be leaving for three months tomorrow morning. We can’t start something now. 

Or maybe it’s the perfect time to start something. It would be the perfect way to say goodbye. Then again, I don’t wanna add stress to your already stressful tour. You get anxious so easily. Maybe it won’t be that long. 

“When do you think you’ll be back in Seoul?”

You blink out of your thoughts and say, “My last show is in Seoul actually, so…late October, early November.” I nod, taking another sip of my soju. “I don’t know how long I’ll stay though.” You shrug, leaning back on your hands. Turning away from me, you say, “I’m gonna miss you.”

Looking over at you, please just look me in the eyes. I want to see your beautiful eyes as much as I can before you leave. I wanna see you look at me the way you do before you say goodbye—a glint of hope and longing. I need to tell you— 

“I’m gonna miss you too.” That’ll have to do for now. Surely I’m being overly dramatic about all this. I don’t know. You look at me, but glance down as soon as our gazes meet. 

“You’ve become, like, my best friend out here.” 

Another reason why I can’t tell you my feelings. I can’t…I can’t do that to you. You need a friend out here. And if you don’t feel the same way about me—even if I think you do—you’d never talk to me again. And then you’d have no one out here. 

“You’re one of my best friends too,” I add. 

“Ah,” you scoff. “I got hit with the ‘one of’.” I chuckle with you, running my fingers through my hair as you stand to your feet. “I think I should go.”

No. You can’t. I need to tell you—

Standing up to join you, I’m only a few inches from you. I reach for your hand, but you pull it away to adjust your jacket sleeve. 

“Are you sure you wanna go?”

“On my tour?” Your eyes finally meet mine, like are you crazy? And yeah, I kinda am. “Yeah, I think I should go still,” you chuckle. 

“No, I mean,” I start. “Are you sure you wanna leave right now?”

“Oh.” You sigh, looking down at the cars driving down the street, watching the train that we spent hours on go by, watching the lights of the agency building flash. “I need to.” But you don’t want to. “My flight leaves in six hours and I haven’t even started packing.”

“Let me drive you to your hotel?” Please. 

Reluctantly agreeing, we drive in a devastating silence, like we both have the same thing on our minds. And that we both know we have the same thing on our minds. 

Arriving at your hotel, I pull up to the drop-off driveway and you start to hop out. No. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you— 

“Why don’t you park and walk me upstairs?”

I have no idea where this is going, all I know is I’m walking next to you down this hallway with my hands shoved in my pockets while your arms are crossed. Standing in the doorway, you lean back against the door, fiddling with your thumbs, refusing to look at me or open the door. 

Working up the courage, you look up and say, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” I nod before we say our final goodbyes. The door shuts behind you slowly. No. Not yet. I need to tell you—

Walking away defeated, I hear a door behind me open, but I keep my eyes on the ground. A quiet “Soobin?” comes from behind me. I turn, welcomed by you pulling me into a hug. Your arms wrap around my neck and mine around your waist for what feels like forever. But it’s not enough. No. Don’t pull away yet. I need to tell you— 

Looking in my eyes, you bite your lips as you shift your weight. I can't help but think you’re about to say exactly what I want to hear right now. “Thanks for being such a good friend.” 

Letting out a soft laugh, I smile and say, “No worries.” You wave at me and turn back toward the door before I say your name. Turning back, you wait for me to say something while your hand rests on the handle. Please. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you— “I, uh…” I need to tell you. But I can’t. “Good luck.” 

“One more hug?” Oh, thank god. I nod, managing to keep my excitement from being too obvious. Your arms wrap around my shoulders again while mine fall around your waist, you face digging into my neck. I breathe you in, wishing I could just kiss you already. Pulling apart, you don’t move your arms away. You look in my eyes like you want to say something more. But you don’t know what. Or if you should. “You know,” you start. “I, uh…I wouldn’t be mad if…”

“If…?” 

“Are you gonna kiss me or am I gonna have to—“

That’s all I need. My lips crash into yours. It’s slow. And sweet. Your lips are soft, made kissable by that chapstick you’re always making me carry in my pocket. My hand is on your cheek as you smile against my lips and I lean into the kiss to deepen it. Breaking the kiss, you laugh out loud, your head falling back before you look up at me again. You’re so close to me. 

“For fuck’s sake—I’ve been trying to get you to kiss me all night,” you say. 

“What! No you haven’t.”

“We’ll, maybe I’m not the best at sending signals…” My lips find yours again, but only briefly. “Spend the night?” My eyebrows raise. I don’t know if I should—starting something like that right now is a little risky. And it would make saying goodbye that much harder. 

“Don’t you have to leave for the airport in, like, four hours?”

“Eh,” you shrug. “Yeah, I guess so, but I’d like it if you stayed.” You smile— “We don’t have to, like, do anything. I just wanna…” you take a deep breath, “spend more time with you. Wanna say goodbye in the morning, not right now, you know?” 

I let go of her, backing away. “I dunno if I should…”

“Oh.” You drop your arms to your sides. “Okay. Yeah.” Crossing your arms, you nod softly and bite the inside of your cheek. 

“I want to but,” I sigh. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea tonight.” 

“I-I just meant hang out,” you shrug. “I’m gonna be packing most of the time anyway. I mean, you definitely don’t have to,” you say. “Just thought you might want to.” 

I keep repeating to myself you’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. We already kissed—what’s the harm in spending the night without sleeping together? No. I don’t want us to start like this. 

“I think I should go,” I say, saying our final awkward goodbyes. I’m walking away, but I know you’re still standing there, leaning up against the doorframe. Hope is trying to bubble up as I wait for you to call out my name again. But I’ve told you no. So I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I would do the same. Although I just wish—

“I broke up with them.”

“What?” I turn to face you, chewing on your thumbnail as you slowly smile at me before giving me a nod. That’s it. 

Rushing back to you, I hold your face in my hand before kissing you again. We breathe each other in, arms wrapped around each other. 

“Are you being serious?” I ask you through my deep breaths. Biting your lip, you nod with a smirk. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno, I’m sorry,” you start. “I guess I just—I guess I was embarrassed that it took so long,” she says. “And I didn’t want you to think I broke up with them for you. I broke up with them—”

“For you,” I say. You look up at me, mumbling a soft yeah before I say, “It’s okay,” I chuckle, peppering your face and neck with kisses while you giggle and scrunch your shoulders. “God, I’ve been wanting– to tell you–“ I say in between kisses. “For so long– that I have the biggest– crush on you.” 

“I know you do,” you laugh. “I have the biggest crush on you too.”

“Seriously?” You nod and I don’t let up with the peppering of your face with my lips. 

“Okay, okay—“ you say. “Lemme get the door open.” Laughing, you reach in your back pocket for the key, waiting for the buzz and the green light. As we stumble through, we kiss again, both of us in each other’s trance. The room’s spinning, I feel like I’m floating. Our hands roam everywhere. Mine settle on your backside to squeeze while you hum against my lips. Fuck. 

“You know,” I say in between kisses. “I know you said we didn’t have to do anything but I wouldn’t mind—“ 

“Oh yeah, we’re definitely having sex tonight.”

“Okay, good,” I laugh, picking you up by your waist to walk you to the bed. Sitting down, you straddle my waist—always smiling, giggling, being sweet. “You sure?”

“Ah, you’re so sweet,” you say, holding my face in your hands. “Here is me giving consent, yeah?” I nod. “Soobin, yes, I want you to fuck me.” Smiling into a kiss, you break it before saying, “Your turn.”

I say your name confidently, swiping a thumb across the apple of your cheek. “Yes, I wanna fuck you.” 

“Oh shit,” you say, your expression drops. “This is really happening.” My eyebrows stitch together; do you not want to— “I mean, you’re really here,” you say, looking over my face, squishing my cheeks to make my lips pucker. “You’re like…real.” 

“Are you okay?” I ask through my pouty lips. Groaning, you lift off me to plop down on your back, rubbing your forehead with your fingertips.

“Fuck, I dunno.”

“Um,”  I start, resting my hand on your thigh. “It’s okay. We don’t have to,” I say, watching for your reaction. Even if you do want to, there's a voice in the back of my head screaming at me Don’t do this! It’s not the right time! But there’s another part screaming Remember how long you’ve wanted to be with her!? You sit up, sitting criss-cross while you fiddle with the hem of your jeans.

Looking up, you look into my eyes, trying your hardest to put together the words you want to say but don't know how. But I know what you mean. “Soobin…I’m so sorry.” 

Shaking my head, I say, “No, no it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.” 

“I just don’t think right now is a great time to…y’know, start something like this.” Well, at least it sounds like it would’ve started something, not just end with us having sex. “I just think,” you start, reaching to run your fingers through my hair. “It would make saying goodbye harder.” 

It would be the perfect way to say goodbye too though, no? 

“Yeah, you’re right.” I smile. And you are. I can’t imagine how shitty it would be tomorrow morning waking up next to you knowing I can’t see you for three months. Or even worse—you’ve already left and didn’t wake me up to say goodbye. “Let’s not—”

“I do want to though,” you sigh. “Just not right now,” you say, biting your cheek while playing with the bedsheets. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, get your hopes up, I dunno.” 

“Hey, listen,” I say, reaching for your hands. “I was happy when you came out of your room to give me a hug but kissing you…” I hold your face in my hands. “That was—do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” You shake your head. “I honestly couldn’t tell you either. I don’t remember a time before wanting to kiss you.” Tilting your head, you smile up at me shyly. “But we shouldn’t do anything unless both of us are ready, okay?”

Nodding, you say, “Yeah, okay.”

“You want me to stay?”

“Yes please,” you say. “If you’re comfortable with that?”

“I’ll tell you what…I’ll stay if you let me kiss you again,” I say. “If not…well, then I’ll still stay but you’ll be left kissless.”

“I can’t be left kissless, can I?” You joke, wrapping your arms around your shoulders, pulling me closer. Our lips meet again and it’s just as nice as the first time around. You’re so…perfect is the only way I know how to describe you. We’re trying, trying to tell each other what we want to say. And I think we can both hear it. But not saying it out loud is a pain I don’t know if I can bear. I can feel you start to pull apart, but I can’t yet. This can’t end. 

We hesitantly pull apart and you look at me, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You’re absolutely fine. I promise.” But I know you’re not apologizing for not sleeping with me. You know you wouldn’t need to apologize for that. I know what you’re truly sorry for. And I’m sorry for it too. 

Tears start to pool in your eyes. Everything is a bit…much for you right now. You know you’re hurting me, you know you’re hurting yourself, but there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s simply not the right time. You need to focus on work and you need a friend while you’re gone. You don’t need to be dealing with a brand new relationship. I get it. I’m in the same boat as you are. 

“Hey…” I hold your face with one hand. “Dance with me?” 

Sniffling, you nod while I let go to turn music on my phone. A song I know you love—Unforgettable by Nat King Cole. 

“Ugh,” you say, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “You’re too sweet.” Wrapping around each other, this is the closest we’ve ever been. Your arms are around my waist as you cuddle into me, mine are around your shoulders, one of my hands on the back of your head. Your sniffles rattle me inside and out. Our hearts beat against each other as we sway, your cheek against my chest as I place gentle kisses to your forehead.

This song is saying everything we want to but can’t. Except for that one thing. Those three words that are being repeated in our heads over and over.  We both want to, need to say it, but we can’t. Now’s not the right time. 

Right now, though, this is perfect. You in my arms, moving to the music with me. And it all feels right, despite that one thing that’s missing. Our lips pull at each other like magnets until they’re pressed together gently and softly. I graze my thumb over your tear-stained cheek and you smile subtly against my lips. Your sniffles are dying down, but they’re still there. They’re still breaking my heart. 

Breaking the kiss, you look up at me and your lips part to say something—I know exactly what you want to say, but I shake my head. This isn't the right time. Closing your mouth, you keep looking at me, taking deep breaths before laying on my chest again. 

Your sniffles start to pick up again—more sporadic, uneven. A tear falls onto my neck and—god, I don’t know if I can handle this. 

“I do though.”

Your voice is strained and devastating. I absolutely hate hearing you like this. I can’t even bring myself to try to look at your face. My heart’s already broken. But seeing your face right now…it’d shatter it into a million pieces and would never be mendable. 

“I know,” I say, kissing your temple. “I do too.”

[thisismeracing]

Charles + gamer + mild angst /fluff

Gamer | CL16

⸺ the one where he's been gaming too much with his friends and neglects his girlfriend for a beat. ✓ mentions of food.

⁕ one word, a thousand stories blurb night (closed) ⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

He wasn't a gamer. He was an F1 pilot. That's why it did not make any sense for Yn the amount of time Charles had been spending playing with his friends. And don't get her wrong, she did support him in everything and wanted Charles to bond with his friends, but the thing was he's been neglecting her in the process.

She tried talking with him, but he brushed it off not even taking his eyes off the screen, and that's how Yn found herself with Charles would call "an attitude", going around her day ignoring him. She went as far as cooking dinner without calling him to eat or saving him a plate.

She wanted him to feel the way she was.

"Amour, did you have dinner already?" Charles asked confused once his match was over, tonight he was playing some kind of fight game with Lando. Both streaming too.

Yn kept her eyes on the movie playing on the TV, not bothering to look his way, but Charles tried again, "Chérie, what happened?" he walked to the living room stopping right in front of her.

Yn sighed.

"Are you finally done with your game? I'm sorry but I can't talk right now, mon ange, I'm watching this movie...all by myself," she retorted hinting exactly at the problem.

The Leclerc cleared his throat a bit ashamed of himself finally realizing what he did to his girlfriend.

"Love, I'm sorry, I- I lost track of time, and I've been a terrible boyfriend. You deserve better and I'll start giving you better, I promise. Just, please, forgive me, and look at me," he apologized while pleading, now kneeling between her legs. He held her face between his hands, "I love you," he whispered when her eyes finally found his. "Can I get a kiss?"

"You don't deserve it," she answered, but the ghosting of a smile gave away that she was considering his apologies.

"Not even if I get you your favorite dessert? You didn't have dessert without me, did you?" he arches his brows.

"Well, you're starting to drive a hard bargain, Charlie."

"I'm the best of the grid, you know," he jokes.

"Now you're getting cocky," she laughs.

"If it makes you laugh I can be whatever you want, Yn," now his eyes were trained on her lips and he finally killed the space, tasting her lips and sealing a promise of doing better from now on.

― ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: I hope you liked it *mwah* <3 make sure lmk your thoughts, guys!

[ecogirl2759]

So, I decided to take a few photos of the Danganronpa 4コマ KINGS series and compile a few of the findings I thought were funny.

I don't have everything fully translated yet, so there may be a few issues with my findings. If you find any mistakes or have anything to add, please lmk :) I'll also update this if I find things later.

---IMPORTANT NOTE---

All of these drawings are NOT mine. Everything comes from the 4コマ KINGS series published by Spike Chunsoft. I'm simply photographing them and sharing them with others who may not have seen them before (since the series is out of circulation). If there is any issue with my post, please inform me so that I can take appropriate action.

All photos are below the break here :) (Warning, it's long lol) ((And there are a few minor spoilers))

(EDIT: As a side note, I've posted more pictures in an update. Idrk how this site works, so I'm letting people know here so you can find it if you want.)

Fun things that you can learn from the Danganronpa 4コマ KINGS comics:

Hifumi has written, drawn, or thought of making content relating to Sayaka x Kiyoko, Aoi x Sakura (on two occasions), and Makoto x Byakuya

Toko thinks that… something… happened between Mondo and Kiyotaka in the sauna, wink wink.

Toko wrote some sort of fanfiction in relation to Byakuya, Chihiro and Mondo. Idk what it is, but the title is along the lines of "The Byakuya Family Household Sweep Away a Beautiful Girl". (Pretty sure it's a Mondo x Chihiro fic, but I could be wrong.)

^ pretty sure Syo is a heavy BL fan lol

Aoi's b00bs are so squishy, she can use them to launch herself off things.

Everyone really likes drawing pretty boy Byakuya. Like, he looks fabulous in some of these panels. Here is one of those pictures:

........Okay, fine, this is the right one:

Hifumi has drawn gender swaps of a few of the boys, being Makoto, Byakuya, Leon, Yasuhiro, Kiyotaka, and Mondo.

Leon really wants a harem lol

Kiyoko's secret picture (from the last trial in-game) was of Class 78 hosting a cat maid cafe

Yasuhiro's secret (the motive in Chapter 2) is that he's an idiot.

Mondo, Kiyotaka and Sayaka all get along really well! So do Mondo, Kiyotaka and Chihiro :)

Mondo knows how to sew!

Mondo doesn't wear eyeliner, he just has really long eye lashes.

Mondo's hair is fluffy and bouncy :)

Makoto thinks Mondo's hair looks like a corn chip. Aoi thinks it looks like a chocolate croissant :)

Chihiro once gave Mondo a game about dogs. He loved it lol

Chihiro and Mondo have actually trained together.

^ they actually make a great team :)

(I'm pretty sure that) Kiyotaka was found guilty in a trial relating to black underwear. Unclear if he was executed or not. (This point is subject to change once I fully translate the comic.)

Kiyotaka was brainwashed by the Mono-Rangers (parody on Power Rangers) in a different comic. He became Commander Ishimaru and enforced rules and dress code in a dictator-like fashion. (Full translation is still in the works.) This is what his outfit looked like:

Daiya dies in 4K

Komaru's here :D

Mukuro shows up a lot as herself! She's so cute lol

Kiyoko's kinda socially awkward lol, it's really cute.

Makoto has wanted to see up Kiyoko's skirt on multiple occasions.

Makoto has tried a couple of times to cheer Kiyotaka up. It does not work.

And now, here are some funny out-of-context panels to cap off this post! These were too hilarious not to include, I just couldn't make a bullet point out of them lol.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk :)

[mastermindmiko]

Poor Mrs Norris

Pairing: Fred Weasley + reader

Word count: 834

Summary: You plan out a prank with Fred and George

Warnings: pranks, hexing, kissing that's all, but lmk if there's anything else

Requests are open

Hey! If you think this didn't completely suck, feel free to check out my masterlist.

At first I thought it was endearing, and sweet. The way he would make sure that I'm feeling well, ate enough and that I am enjoying myself. Now, it's been bringing a bubbly sensation in my stomach that I can't get rid off.

"If we go to Flich's office, we can kidnap Mrs Norris and then-"

"Bold of you to assume that Mrs Norris can be kidnapped she's one feisty cat." I shake my head disapprovingly at Fred's plan, knowing that the cat would scratch his hand enough before she's a meters distance away from him. Fred flirts, "Just like you."

He sends me a wink, and if there were a month ago, merlin, even a few days ago I would have rolled my eyes and continued on with my day, but now, the stupid fluttery, bubbly feeling is back. George says, "We'll just hex her from where she's at."

"How will we get filch away from her long enough to do the hex?" Fred continues, eager to make this prank amazing, hilarious and fool proof. I suggest, "One of you can set up a dungbomb to make Filch notice, and while he's too bust running to catch you, I can hex Mrs Norris."

Poor Mrs Norris, I didn't actually want to hex her, she's a pretty nice cat if you ignore the whole scratching and violent thing she has going on. Luckily, the hex won't hurt her or anything, it'll only last a few hours at most.

"I can do it, since I'm the fastest runner." George says, and Fred looks at his brother like he's grown two heads. Fred counters, "I am the fastest runner."

"No, I am-"

"It really doesn't matter who is faster as long as Filch doesn't catch you." I say, looking between the two bickering boys disapprovingly, but finding Fred's pout adorable.

I think I spend too much time gazing at Fred's beauty because next thing I know he's looking at me with a smug grin then he teases, "You're staring."

"I am not."

"I understand that I'm completely irresistible, but love, you can hide it a bit better than that." Fred continues to tease me, and I roll my eyes, standing up, hoping that he doesn't notice the blush on my face.

"George, you've got the bombs?" I ask, and George stands up waving them. Fred stands up too and I say, "Let's do this then."

George nods his head then leaves the room already making his way to the far side of the corridor a few feet away from where Filch's office is located.

I hide behind one of the pillars and wait until I hear the sound of the bombs exploding then see Filch leaving the room. I wait patiently, but then I feel a hand wrapping around my waist.

I look up to see Fred waiting behind me, eyes trained to the door. I gasp and remove his hand, taking a step back. I say, "What are you doing here?"

"Pranking Filch with you, genius." Fred says, smiling at me, and my face heats again. This crush was getting out of hand, of course he was pranking Filch with me. He looks back at the door and I look at him.

I wonder how anyone could not be able to differentiate between Fred and George. They were identical twins, but there were so many differences. Fred's face was rounder, and he has that adorable freckle on his neck, and that cute-

"You're staring again." Fred says, catching me in the middle of looking at the tiny freckle about his top lip. I turn redder, but don't break the eye contact. I blink a few times, and maybe I've Imagined it, but I see Fred looking at my lips.

It was a spur of the moment thing, I don't even think about it because I know that if I do I'll find a million reasons not to do this. I step up on my tiptoes and kiss him. He reciprocates the kiss before I even realize what I was doing.

He wraps his arms around me and I toy with the hairs on the nape of his neck. He presses me against the pillar and we kiss for what feels like the perfect equivalent of both a second and an eternity.

We hear footsteps approaching and we part. George comes jogging towards us and he has a bit of sweat on his forehead. He's grinning wildly in anticipation. He asks, "Did you do it?"

I didn't even hear the bomb exploding or Filch running after George, so we definitely didn't hex Mrs Norris. I bite my lip sheepishly and Fred answers, "No, we didn't."

"Why not?" George pouts and then he looks confused. He looks at Fred and I, and I feel myself blush. I notice Fred's ears turning pink too. George rambles, "Why are you blushing? And why is your lipstick smudged? And-"

George gasps, and that's the day Fred Weasley became my boyfriend.

[komugistissue]

Oooo, what about sucking Aki off every time he's on the phone just cause you like to be a distraction. Do you think he'd try to end the call quickly? Would he be able to hold back his moans? Would he lose his train of thought whenever your nose hit his pubes? What would he do when he finally hung up?

anon.. i'm so in love with this idea thank you so much 🥹

i had fun writing this, this idea is so hot to me but i have no idea what'd you'd call it, so if anyone knows pls lmk in the comments lol! also i reallyyy enjoy writing/reading about sub men so i hope u don't mind i made aki a lil bit subby in this! (i need him so bad) also this is NOT proofread so pls don't crucify me if there's any spelling mistakes 😣

pairing- aki hayakawa x afab reader

warnings- subby aki, blowjob while on the phone, oral (m receiving), reader calls aki a good boy, aki calls reader ma'am, afab reader

"everything is in order, the devil was executed and i'm about to start writing the report on the mission." your boyfriend spoke into the phone. you sat next to him at his desk, impatiently waiting for this phone call to end after he told you to be quiet so he could take it.

"it was a bloody fight, fortunately there were no casualties and no one is severely injured. we were able to recover...." jesus christ. when would this phone call end? there was no possible way he had this much to say about a mission where barely anything happened.

"hey! hey! ki!!" you whisper shouted, snapping your fingers to get your boyfriend's attention. he put his finger up to his mouth in a "shush" motion and turned his chair away from you. "ugh!'' you rolled your eyes. you just wanted to hang out with your boyfriend and this stupid call was taking up all your alone time with him!

god dammit, you thought. how could you pull his attention away from this totally unimportant phone call onto his totally important girlfriend? you thought for a second. that could work. you got up out of your chair with a plan in your head. aki was so focused on his phone call that he didn't notice when you stood up, or when you got underneath his desk.

he looked over when he felt the warmth of your hand touch his upper thigh and saw your other hand reaching toward the crotch of his pants. "what're yo... oh um i'm sorry, i was just talking to my, uh, dog. please continue." he looked at you anxiously when he saw his belt being undone and your hand reaching for his cock.

you grabbed his cock, that was growing harder by the second now that he understood the situation, and ran your thumb against the tip, gathering all his precum on the tip of your finger and licking it off. he clicked the mute button on the call, "hah.. what are you doing? y-you know this call is mmm-important to me.." he said between breaths. you took your finger out of your mouth and put it up to his. "shhh ki. be a good boy for me okay?" you moved your finger away from his mouth and pushed the unmute button.

"mr. hayakawa, are you there." aki was so caught up with you he hadn't realized his superior had said something. "y-yes sir i'm sorry, just my dog is really needy mmmf-today.." you smirked hearing him try to keep his composure, sure you did feel a little bad, but hearing him hold back his little whines erased all guilt you had.

you grabbed his cock and licked a stripe all the way from the base to the tip of his leaking cock. poor baby aki covered his mouth and tried so hard to hold back his little whimpers. he looked down at you with tears in his eyes and a look that said "please just make me cum already." you took his cock into your mouth and started licking his tip. he muted his voice and started to moan out to you. "hah.. fuck.. please just mmmf-just stop teasing.. please.." you took your mouth off and stopped completely, "if you keep muting this call i'll stop aki. do you understand me?" "...yes ma'am" he said, clearly embarrassed about the entire situation. "that's my good boy. now unmute your voice, and let me take care of you."

you put your mouth back onto his neglected cock and let the tip hit the back of your throat. you did feel bad for making your poor boyfriend feel embarrassed like this. you could spoil him for a little while.

fuck, he could feel every little thing. the way your nose hit his pubes when he was completely down your throat, how you were rubbing little circles into his leg to (attempt) help him keep his composure. he felt like he was going to go crazy. your throat was so warm. all of a sudden, he felt you cup his balls. "i'm sorry sir but something hmmff-came up, can i call you back?" aki hung up before he could hear the answer.

"fuck.. please baby i-i'm sorry for hanging up! just please... mhnnghh please make me cum pleasee" he blabbered out to you. damn, how could you be mad at his cute face? "it's okay my good boy, just sit back."

[pygmi-cygni]

T minus 8

Y'all can figure out the title situation by now, right?

content warning: basically the same as the last two chapters, less techy stuff dw, blood, some more anxiety, tension, angst

is it weird that the head doctor's name is Ben? I realized he might get confused with Ben Reilly (tho i don't plan on mentioning him) if it's funky lmk

also - taglist ppl, if you want to be on my general (all fic) tag list, pls specify, I just have you on this specific fic's taglist.

enjoy!

This was ridiculous. Fucking unacceptable. You were not going to let this manchild disrupt your workflow. You had gone through med school, the collapse of your entire universe, and countless crazy patients.

Miguel O'Hara was not going to be your downfall.

After escaping to your room after the brush with death - aka Miguel's fangs - you'd had a good cry before realizing the situation.

You can deal with it, or you can drown in it.

Though your education was in healthcare, a mandatory part of medical training was mental wellbeing and psychology. You had a few coursebooks lying around...

Despite the words bleeding together and the stained coffee mugs littering your floor, you pored over textbooks until early the next morning. Fuck Miguel and his needles. You were going to do your job with the least number of puncture wounds possible.

You strode into his sickroom with a fresh coat of concealer and a thick stack of papers. No syringe in sight.

He was immediately suspicious of your lifted chin and confident stride. You could feel his apprehension tingling, carmine gaze following you around his temporary abode. Let him judge. At the end of the day, you had the needle and he had a sore elbow. Not your fucking problem.

"This is how this is gonna go," you said flatly, rolling next to his bed with a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Twice a day, I am going to come in here and give you a shot. Then, I'm gonna force feed you and take your vitals. Then, I'm gonna do it again the next day and the next until this day," you circled the small calendar at the bottom of the sheet. "And you aren't gonna give me any shit about it, okay?"

The words tumbled out as precise as you'd practiced in front of the mirror twenty times that morning.

Miguel's eyebrow lifted at your direction but his mouth stayed curled in a sneer. You swallowed, willing him to say something. The strong facade you'd put on was slowly succumbing to sleep deprivation.

Too early to give in.

You were stuck in another staring match, so focused on his blistering glare that you didn't realize he was slowly leaning closer. Until his breath brushed your ear and you could see his teeth glimmering.

"No."

One word, and your spine was quaking with shivers. You blinked rapidly, veering away from him. His impassive stare returned and he leaned back into his pillows.

You sat stunned. Then pissed.

"That's not the correct answer," you said coolly. His eyebrows twitched again. Did he think you would cower and scamper off again? What a surprise he was in for.

"Easy way or hard way, Miguel," you taunted, pulling out one of the two doses. "If you let me do this, in five seconds it will be over and I'll be gone."

He didn't look at you, but subtly shifted away from the offensive syringe.

"Or you could drag it out until you're crying and you'll still get a poke."

Another bloodcurdling stare. Aw, the big baby doesn't like it when I call him a coward. Too bad.

You could hear the gentle uptick in his heartrate as you began to prep the area, wiping gently with an alcohol patch. His breaths were louder, whistling above your head. It didn't take this long to clean an injection site, but you wanted to give him time to realize what was going on.

"Wait," he muttered, snatching your wrist before you could grab the medicine. You let him and hoped he couldn't feel your own rapidly beating heartrate. Using your other wrist this time, you took up the syringe and tried to nudge the protective seal off.

"Not yet," Miguel protested, batting you away. You fixed him with a warning glance.

"Easy or hard, big guy, but it's gonna happen."

He tried to swat you again, but you barked out a "Stop."

Flinching, he retreated. Anger simmered in his eyes, but he bit his tongue. You tried to soften your tone. He's a patient, be nice. He's hurt, it's just the adrenaline.

"Don't swat me when I remove the seal, you might accidentally stick yourself," you explained kindly. Replacing the seal, you set the needle on the tiny table next to him. Miguel regarded you warily, unsure if he could trust your sudden surrender.

Talking. He liked the talking last time. Trying to medicate him in this state would be impossible, you had to de-escalate.

"Why...why is this hard for you? I mean, what's the scary bit?" You sat back, keeping your hands empty and in view of him.

He snorted and fidgeted with his hospital bracelet.

"I need to work," he said gruffly, looking at the clock, then wincing. You tilted your head.

"No, I meant about the nee-"

"I need to get back to work," he insisted, "I've been gone too long. The Society won't survive without me."

You leaned forward and peeled back the blankets. He knew better than to stop you, but you could sense his agitation.

"Until that-" you pointed to the sour-smelling bandages crusted with blood, "goes away, you won't be going back."

"That's impossible."

"Cry about it." You dismissed his annoyance as you peered at the dirty gauze. You'd replaced it only a few hours ago, how bad was the infection? It shouldn't have absorbed the ointment and worsened. A crease furrowed your brow. You reached out to feel around the wound. He groaned, twitching under your hands. The pale complexion returned, and sweat had dried around his chest.

How come he didn't ring for help?

"Okay, let's try something else," you said slowly. "I'm gonna replace these and clean you up, got it?" The expected silence rang out, and you took it as a green flag.

It took you a few moments to collect your scissors, gauze and other supplies, all the while Miguel was breathing heavily through his nose. You were calm as morning fog while you worked, barely wrinkling your nose at the foul smell.

What the....The wound was ragged and swollen. Had you been the only person paying attention? The torn was flesh had clearly been neglected, or else it wouldn't be nearly as rancid.

Don't freak out, you reminded yourself, feeling Miguel's scowl directed at your face. He doesn't need to know.

"That's not supposed to be like that," he guessed, reading your obvious distress. you startled and tried to smile, but it wavered.

"No! No, it's..." you trailed off, acutely aware that he saw right through your act.

Deciding to focus on the task at hand, you began carefully snipping away at his bandages. It was soothing, just another routine. he's not dying he's not dying it's just a routine check up, nothing terrible, it's okay

Is the poison contagious after contact?

You froze, realizing Dr Ben had never explained the dangers of exposure. You had your gloves, but they were flimsy, and a paper mask could only do so much. Fuck. You'd already gotten blood and gore on your hands, it wasn't really a good time to fix that.

Here goes nothing.

Miguel did a stellar job of not biting your head off, though his pained grunts and clenched fists didn't help your heart rate. You were efficient and cleaned him up quickly, though his appearance wasn't improving. It was only day two. Not good.

"Okay, scary part," you warned, reaching again for the syringe. He was still riled up from the agony of his new dressings. It wasn't the way you wanted it to go, but he was running out of time.

"I can't bargain with you on this," you said shakily, "because it isn't up to me. i'm just the messenger, and I don't know how else to tell you."

Deep breaths.

"Your tissue is decaying, and if I don't give this to you, you won't be able to work at all. Ever," you added for emphasis when he almost protested. "I know you hate needles, I know you hate being here, I know you hate me, but seriously, please just let me do my job."

your hands were shaking. He looked...impassive, as if he'd turned to stone during your plea. Stick him. Just do it, just poke him right in the arm, he's not moving-

Miguel inclined his chin and released his harsh grip. You were shocked and almost dropped the syringe. That was quick. Maybe it wasn't the needle?

"You gonna stab me or what," he snapped. Scurrying forward, you gently took his hand in yours and probed for a vein.

"Little poke," you whispered, before carefully injecting the vial of clear liquid into his bicep. He let out a strangled groan and grabbed your arm, clutching for dear life. You let him squeeze, though his grip was threatening to cut off your circulation. Breathe breathe breathe he's okay you're okay it's okay breathe

"Not so hard, yeah?" you kept your voice quiet, rubbing his shoulder carefully. Miguel was still in the throes of panic before he suddenly blinked awake. Like a robot, his arms were at his sides and he stared straight ahead.

Confused, you searched his gaze. A haze had gone over his irises, but nothing extreme. All good so far. As quietly as possible, you ran through his vitals and coaxed a cup of water into him.

After a few minutes of waiting by his side, you signed off on his form and backed out of the room.

3 down, too many to go.

And so it went. He never looked at you, never acknowledged your existence each time you peeked into his room. A week went by, for better or worse. His wound was making disappointing progress, but it wasn't getting worse.

However, his approach to the needle wasn't getting better either. He liked the talking, seemed to calm him slightly when you rambled about other patients or your daily routine.

But whenever your hand ducked into your coat pocket, his face would go hard and he'd hunch like a cat, hissing and scratching when you got too close.

"Miguel, please," you begged, eyes pricking with tears. It had been a long day. the longest. four spiders lost, three injured, and one in critical condition. You'd worked your ass off, then slogged to your last patient. you just didn't have the fight in you.

Did he like to torture you?

"I will do anything, please just fucking stay still."

he hesitated.

"Anything?"

"I don't fucking care, please give me your wrist-"

"Let me go back to work." His tone was defiant, but urgent.

You fixed him with a no-nonsense glare. "You know the answer to that."

"I have the multiverse to attend to," he gritted out, "this stupid arrangement is not more important than that."

You couldn't fucking deal with this. "I will rip your fucking teeth out, you animal, I don't care how important you are-"

"I control the fate of-"

"I am acutely aware of that, O'Hara," you shouted finally, throwing the capped needle at him. He swore and ducked.

"I am so fucking aware that everything you do affects my wellbeing. But if you don't sit still and stop acting like a fucking child then you'll die and so will the rest of us." You were crying and your head hurt and the syringe was probably shattered but you just wanted to go home.

"I want to go home," you blubbered, "and I want to go to bed. If you let me do my job, then you can do yours. Please." You whispered, begging.

Miguel's nostrils flared, barely holding back. Maybe if he bit you again, you could take a long nap and this would all be over.

"One condition."

Your head thumped against his mattress. "I don't wanna argue with you-"

"One dose, one favor."

You rolled your face to the side, sighing tiredly. "I'm not having sex with you."

He sputtered, fangs shifting in surprise. "Wh-ay dios-no that's not- I meant a-" Miguel scowled at you for as he understood your delirious laughter was at his gullibility.

"I take the dose, no fuss, you do me a favor," he tried again, "professionally."

Any win was a win in your book. "Fine."

He relented, sticking his arm out and bracing against the handrail. Afraid he would double back on his promise, you stuck him a little more aggressively than you needed to in your rush.

"Okay, big guy, what'll it be?"

"Give me my work laptop."

Bastard. "That's cheating-"

"You said-"

"Fine," you spat, tossing the empty syringe in the bin. "One hour."

"Three."

"One."

"That dose hurt," he protested, and you rolled your eyes.

"Fine. Two."

A moment later, his laptop was under your arm and you were checking off another day on the calendar.

It definitely got easier. A tentative agreement had settled between you: one dose, two hours of work. It did seem to help his mood. Miguel still flinched when you aimed the syringe for his arm. He stayed still when you changed his bandages and kept his fangs to himself.

You were fitting him for the pressure cuff when you noticed. Last week, even the biggest cuff size could barely fit around his massive arm. Today, you could easily wrap it with a few inches to spare.

Frowning, you made sure nothing had come undone in the packaging. Everything was intact. Had he been flexing before?

"Um...do you mind flexing your arm for a second?"

He looked puzzled at the request, but did as asked. You tried again, but even then the cuff was loose.

"Nevermind, that's...that's fine, thanks." You gave a tight smile and jotted something down in your notes.

After his shot, you tried to see if the rest of his body was changing. He was still enormous, but there did seem to be a lackluster quality about him. Miguel's energy was reduced, his anger less potent and he was definitely tamer.

"Miguel, are you feeling okay?" you asked tentatively, gauging his reaction. Usually you knew better than to interrupt his working time, his anger would snap.

But today, he merely grunted and shrugged. Definitely lethargic. Trying to rationalize, you figured it might be his body finally adjusting to the medication.

Making a quiet excuse, you ducked into the adjacent office and discreetly dialed Ben.

"I'm worried it's not working," you whispered, chewing on a hangnail. Dr Ben hummed on the other line.

"His stats are looking a little low. I'll have another doctor check him out. You've done well so far, kiddo, this is a tough case. Take today off, yeah?"

You blinked at the quick change in subject. At least the problem was getting looked at...but Miguel still had his evening dose. I'll just come back for that, you amended. It had been so long since you'd had a day off.

In the few hours between your brief pop-in and Ben's call, you'd gotten groceries, done your hair and even had time to watch a movie.

Feeling refreshed, you threw on your gloves and pulled up Miguel's file.

Nothing had changed, really, except a small yellow notification underneath his recent immunizations. Single (1) dose of R4GE-57 administered at 2100.

What?

The meds Ben prescribed hadn't been titled, and you weren't even in the building at 2100.

Frowning, you pushed into Miguel's room.

"Hey, Mig-"

You stopped. He was sitting on his bed, hands folded limply on his lap. His eyes were open but unfocused. You tiptoed closer.

"Miguel?"

His head twitched, but his eyes had difficulty following your movements.

"You're not s'posed to be here," he slurred gravelly. His tone made you pull up short. You two weren't friends, but you'd definitely passed the growling stage.

"Ookay," you said slowly, "but I need to give you your last dose for today."

"No, that lady did. Maria."

Nothing made sense. Maria hadn't given him his second dose cause it would have been two hours early. And you were holding the second syringe, which was very much full.

"Wh...What do you mean? Maria shouldn't have given you-"

"Are you being slow?" His tone was vicious, lips curled to reveal his incisors. Miguel hadn't snapped like that in a week. You balked, retreating a step. Okay, take a deep breath. He's definitely unstable.

"That other nurse gave me the medicine, you are wasting my time," he snarled. Your heart rate was steadily rising. Breathe.

"Just let me-"

Your hand was halfway to his wrist when he lunged.

no no not again-

A cry ripped from your throat as your head collided with the edge of the table, and a dull ringing overwhelmed your senses. throbbing washed over you in waves, pulsing like a drum in tune with your panicked heart.

Nothing was focusing. Were you crying? Someone was shouting, it was bright and your head hurt and where-?

Somebody was dragging you away, and you uselessly batted at their hands.

He's my patient he didn't mean to no stop wait he needs his meds

Surely it wasn't your wailing, that angry wounded animal howling over the thumping ache in your skull.

He was making progress...

did i just make a simple enemies to lovers into a weird crazy multiplotline clusterfuck? yes. yes I did.

tags:

@neeshsoodrippedout

@ridiculous-hibiscus

let me know if u wanna be added/removed xox

[maxsimagination]

𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗺𝗲 - 𝗰.𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘁

summary: charli and reader have been dating for years, and finally get selected to play together in the world cup.

𖦹 masterlist

"𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗢?"

"hi yn, it's tony gustavsson, coach of the matilda's. how are you?"

"i'm good tony. what can do for you?"

"i was just calling to deliver some great news. you've been selected to play for australia in the world cup."

"wait actually? are you joking?" tony laughed at that.

"no this is very real, yn. we have already informed your current club and you'll be flown over to brisbane next week. how does that sound?"

"oh my- that sounds amazing tony! thank you so much!"

"no worries, yn. i'll see you then."

——

it had been a week since that phone call, with tony telling me i'd been called up to play for the nation. i had been elated, the first person i'd told was my mum and dad. they were just as happy as i was. i knew who was already on the squad and one name stood out to me.

charlotte grant. my girlfriend.

i hadn't told her about being selected, i wanted to keep it a surprise and show up unannounced. we hadn't seen each other in over a month because of the two different clubs we were with.

charli and i had been close since we were 15, playing in adelaide together. we instantly became best friends when we met and eventually i had broke the silence and asked her out. she said yes immediately and we had been like the 'it' couple ever since.

our bond was tested when charli moved to rosengard at 18, and i stayed at adelaide. we saw each other in the under 20s national teams, but now we were 21 and 22, she'd moved to vittsjo gik, and we had aged out of the younger teams.

our days consisted of calling whenever we could, each one of us taking turns to stay up into the early hours of the morning just so we could talk for longer. it wasn't an ideal situation but we made it work. so when i got the call up for the matilda's i was so excited that i got to see charli again and we could play together again.

a week had passed since the call and it had felt like torture every second i had to wait. my bags were packed at least two days before my flight was scheduled and i was practically bouncing off the walls of my apartment. this was about to be the best couple of months in my life.

my parents dropped me off at the airport that day, both of them getting a bit teary as i walked through the gateway. i knew it was sad for them but i was still overcome with happiness.

this was my dream, my first world cup. i pulled my phone out when i was boarded on the plane, i had a text from charli. 'call soon? lmk x' i smiled down at her text, she had no clue i was coming up to see her. i typed my response back out to her; 'not now, love. i'm super tired x'. i hoped it was enough to keep her satisfied until i landed in brisbane.

it was meant to be just under a 3 hour flight so i put my headphones in and turned on some music. i ended up falling asleep, only waking up to the air hostesses letting people know that we were landing in just over 30 minutes. i was till a bit tired so i put my headphones away, tucked my phone into my pocket and closed my eyes again, just to see if i could get a couple more minutes of sleep.

i did fall back asleep and the hostess had to wake me up to get off the plane.

"i'm so sorry, thank you for waking me." she was a nice lady and didn't mind having to get me up. i grabbed my bag from the overhead storage and walked towards the exit. i got through security without a hitch and headed to collect my suitcase.

i was standing by the moving row of bags when an older man walked towards. "hey, yn right? i'm tony."

"oh hi tony, yea i'm yn, i didn't know you were meeting me here." "yea i thought i'd take you to the hotel and training myself. you can meet all the other girls then." we grabbed my suitcase when it came through and headed outside to a black car mercedes which took us to a hotel.

"we'll take you to your room so you can get changed and into something better for training then we'll head back out to meet the team. sound good?"

"yea sounds good." he showed me into the hotel and the lady at the front desk gave me the key card to my room. i managed to drag my suitcase into the room and tony said he'd wait in the lobby for me. i shoved the suitcase on the bed, shut the door to my room and pulled out some exercise gear i had on the top of the pile in my bag.

a quick shower was in order to get rid of airport germs and i was changed in no time. i grabbed my phone and key card and headed back down to the lobby.

"okay i'm good to go." tony stood up and we headed back out to the mercedes which was still there, waiting for us. it was only a short drive to the field we were training at but the nerves were seeping in at the thought of seeing charli again for the first time in over a month. tony must have been able to tell something was up.

"you okay?" "yea, i'm just nervous. i haven't told charli i got selected so this is a surprise for her." tony nodded along in agreement.

"i'm sure she'll love to see you again. the girls tell me she doesn't stop talking about you." i smiled at his words, hoping they were true. we had arrived at the facility and got out. tony led the way and showed me into the stadium. i could already see the players warming up on the field.

"alright girls, listen up! there is one more person i'd like you to meet." i stepped out from behind tony as he said his next sentence. "please welcome to the team-"

"YN!" he was cut off before he could say my name. it was charli that had screamed out and was now barreling towards me full force. i grabbed onto her when she hit me, twirling her around a couple of times before putting her down.

she wasted no time in grabbing my face and smashing our lips together in a long awaited kiss. "you didn't tell me you were selected!" she pouted at me.

"it was a surprise for you. did you like it?" she grinned. "absolutely." tony cleared his throat and we pulled apart. "as charli so eloquently put it, this is yn yln. go join the girls yn." me and charli walked back to the group of other players and charli went around to everyone, introducing me to every single person.

i don't think i've seen her this happy before, but it made my heart happy.

[thebestpumkin]

- title - love letters.

- pairing - yuta okkotsu x reader

- characters mentioned - Toge Inumaki, Panda, Maki Zen'in, Satoru Gojo, Rika Orimoto

- word count - 361

- summary - a valentine's day letter from your darling Yuta.

- tw - reader is referred to as pretty, mentions of food, lmk if there are any to add!

- a/n at the bottom!

- For Yuta Okkotsu's darling's eyes ONLY!! -

- Please refrain from opening until February 14th. Sorry! <3 -

Hi darling!

I know this letter must be odd, considering our daily video calls. But it is a special occasion after all! Happy Valentine's day, my love. I wish I could be there to spend it with you, but it's hard to get much time off while training over here. But I'll make it up to you, I promise.

On that note, I really really miss you, pretty. I can't wait until I can be back in your arms, and I can finally fall asleep with you again (side note: Melatonin has some side effects I do NOT recommend. I think it messed up my sleep schedule more...).

Inumaki, Panda, and Maki told me you all are going out to dinner to celebrate. Please make sure to eat well and stay hydrated! And please take lots of pictures for me. I can't wait to hear all about it during our call tonight.

Anyways...with your permission, I'd like to get a little mushy with you. Mostly, I just want to tell you how grateful I am for you. For how you've shown me just as much love as if I was there with you. It means the world to me. And well...I also wanted to tell you that I love you. A whole lot. And I really do mean it when I say I miss you. I'd do just anything to be able to wake up next to you again (despite Gojo's teasing about "whatever came the night before,") and spend today with you - every day, for that matter. And, if you'll have me, I'd love to spend Valentine's day with you properly next year. And the year after. For forever...if you'll have me. Forever...just as our souls are entwined for just as long.

I have to go now, but please know that every word written in this letter comes straight from my heart, and I'll repeat everything for you later, or as many times as you need to hear it to be able to understand just how much I love you. Thank you for everything, darling. Kisses!

Forever yours,

Yuta Okkotsu

P.S., Rika says hello!

pumkin speaks: hello, hello! hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the fact that i'm ACTUALLY writing! it's nice to get back into it. shoutout to my 6 followers who stuck it out fr. not much to say this time...except that i really really love yuta sm. hes so 😍💖💖 okay thats basically it. thanks for reading!

likes, reblogs, requests and feedback are vv appreciated! divider credits go to r0se-designs. have a nice day!

[allisluv]

COMING CLEAN

chapter seven — tough cookie

pairing: finnick odair x fem!oc

content warnings: reaping day, president sn*w, finnick being a cheeky little shit. lmk if i missed any!

word count: 3.9k

previous part — next part

The months go by in a blur.

Dahlia spends most of her days training for the Quarter Quell — her mornings are spent practising hand-to-hand combat and her afternoons building up a resistance to physical exertion. Juniper pushes them past their limits and it turns out she can be one tough cookie when she puts her mind to it.

The morning of the reaping approaches much too fast for Dahlia's liking. The houses in Victors Village are eerily silent as she yanks an ivory dress over her head.

She's endured twenty-four Reaping Days during her lifetime and she can hand-on-heart say that they never get any easier.

She sits on the edge of her bed, wringing her hands together when someone knocks their fist softly on her door. Juniper toys with the hem of her yellow sundress until Dahlia tells her to come in.

Juniper pads across the floor in her flat shoes and sits beside Dahlia. Dread hangs over their heads like a dark cloud and neither of them speaks for a while.

Finally, Juniper leans her head against Dahlia's shoulder and whispers, "I don't want you to die. You can't die. You're the only person I have left."

She sits up straight again and rustles about in the bedside locker closest to her. She has been sleeping in Dahlia's bed ever since the announcement; neither one of them can stand being alone.

Juniper holds out the palm of her hand to reveal a necklace made out of different coloured seashells. It's held together with a piece of thick string.

"You might already have a token and that's okay, but I made this for you," she takes Dahlia's palm and closes her fingers around the necklace. "I won't be offended if you don't wear it—"

"It's beautiful," Dahlia ties the string around her neck and ignores the way the seashells scratch at her skin. "Thank you."

The sound of heavy footfall meets her ears and she glances over her shoulder to see River approaching her bedroom door. He shoves his hands into his pockets and leans against the doorframe. "I, uh, saw the peacekeepers. They're on their way down here."

Dahlia's relationship with her brother has been strained since he called her a slut. She nods sharply and pushes past River, knocking her should into his as she goes by. She bounds down the stairs and Juniper follows closely behind her.

Her feet barely touch the floor before Ivy wraps her arms around her sister's waist. If this is the last time she ever sees Dahlia, she wants to commit every detail to memory.

As if on cue, someone bangs their fists against the front door. Dahlia looks up to see the crisp white uniforms the Peacekeepers wear through the pane of glass.

She pries Ivy's fingers off her dress and holds her at arm's length. "Listen to me. It's going to be okay. I promise," Dahlia whispers, smiling softly. "Just do what River tells you. I'll see you when I get back."

The Peacekeepers hammer on the door again and Dahlia fights back the quick remark on the tip of her tongue. It would only land her in trouble. She brushes Ivy's hair out of her face and reaches for Juniper's hand before throwing open the front door.

Wyatt stands a short distance behind the armed Peacekeepers lining the driveway of Victors Village. He offers the girls a crooked smile and grabs hold of Juniper's other hand.

The sun is positioned high in the sky and sweat clings to their clammy skin by the time they arrive at the town square.

The Peacekeepers clear a path through the citizens of District Nine and march them up the steps of the Justice Building, where the reaping was to be held.

Malaki stands in the centre of the stage and his neon yellow outfit billows in the wind. He taps the microphone and forces himself to smile through the ache in his chest. "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be ever in your favour. As always, ladies first."

He makes his way to the left-hand side of the stage and reaches inside the glass bowl. Two slips of paper float about inside. His fingers graze a slip of paper and he walks back over to the podium.

Dahlia's heart beats against her ribcage like a hummingbird flapping its wings. She holds her breath and squeezes Juniper's hand as Malaki unfolds the piece of paper.

"The female tribute for District Nine... Juniper Sinclair!"

"I volunteer as tribute!" Dahlia's hand flies up on its own accord. Malaki's eyes flutter closed and the faint sound of a shaky sigh can be heard through the microphone.

She takes her place next to him and swallows the lump forming in her throat. The reapings are to be televised later tonight for everybody, including her competitors, to see. The last thing she is going to do is break down.

Malaki composes himself and smiles, looking out into the crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we have a volunteer! How commendable, especially given that this year is a Quarter Quell. Your female tribute for District Nine is Dahlia Holloway." He clears his throat of any emotion and grips the mic stand until his knuckles turn white. "Now for your male tribute."

He plucks a singular piece of paper from the second glass bowl. "The male tribute from District Nine... Wyatt Riley!"

Mere seconds after Wyatt's name is called, a group of Peacekeepers roughly manhandle them into the Justice Building. The Peacekeepers throw them in a train compartment and leave without explaining why they didn't get to say goodbye to their loved ones.

Juniper boards the train and immediately starts pacing the worn-out carpet. She isn't sure exactly when tongue-twisters had become her vocal stim of choice but everyone had grown so used to it that they understood she needed time to calm down.

"Why don't you go down to your room for a little while? I'll call you when dinner's ready," Dahlia says. Juniper manoeuvres around Malaki on her way to find a quiet place to decompress.

Malaki opens his mouth as if he is going to say something. No words come out and after a couple of beats of silence, he accepts defeat and slumps to the floor by the train doors, cradling his head in his hands.

Dahlia wants to move, to comfort him and tell him that she has made peace with her fate, but she can not find the words.

Wyatt begins to nod off in the corner of the sofa and she reaches for the remote to flick through the re-runs of the reapings.

If she wants a chance at surviving this thing, she should know who she will be going to be up against.

Cashmere and Gloss from District One are going to be big competitors. It might be worth allying with them

Beetee and Wiress could be useful ——— they're smart. Beetee won his games by electrocuting six people at once.

Annie Cresta, a fragile and hysterical young girl, is chosen from Four before Mags volunteers to take her place. Finnick will be going back into the arena, too, but she hadn't expected anything less.

Put it this way, it wasn't a coincidence that the both of them were reaped. President Snow knows damn well that Dahlia would volunteer to spare Juniper from going back into the arena.

Johanna Mason is a force to be reckoned with, too. She isn't as innocent as she looks—— she won her games by pretending to be weak and killing the remaining tributes at the last possible second.

District Eight reaps a mother who has to peel her three children off of her. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark will be joining them in the arena but that doesn't come as a surprise to anyone.

The competition will be hard to beat this year. She's grateful for Juniper pushing them as hard as she did over the spring.

Nobody has much to say over lunch. Wyatt scoffs down dish after dish and drinks himself silly until two Avoxes carry him down to his room, patting his arm sympathetically when he sobs into their shoulders.

Juniper nibbles on plain toast and sips a hot chocolate before eventually retreating to her room to get some shut-eye.

Malaki has somewhat pulled himself together by the time mint-chocolate ice cream is served. His voice is thick with emotion as he says, "I'm sorry, you do know that, right?"

Dahlia meets his eye across the table and carefully reaches for his hand. She intertwines their fingers together. "You've done more than enough to help me over the years. Everybody has. I think it's about time I return the favour."

He gives her hand a gentle squeeze. "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for, darling."

Night has fallen by the time they arrive at the new Training Centre; it towers over the other buildings, standing twelve stories high.

It's clear that President Snow pulled out all the stops this year and it makes her wonder if he had planned the Quarter Quell from the very beginning. She wouldn't put it past him.

A glass elevator brings them to their living quarters on the ninth floor, where a group of Avoxes have begun setting the table for their evening meal.

Wyatt has slept off his alcohol-induced sadness and is in high spirits. He launches himself onto an orange beanbag and snags a flask of champagne from the countertop. "To death," he laughs and toasts his glass in the air before downing the lot.

Malaki clears his throat awkwardly and takes a seat at the dining table. It's obvious he hasn't been this far out of his comfort zone in a long time.

Juniper had guzzled down three more hot chocolates on the train and is bouncing off the walls. She almost pulls Dahlia's arm out of its socket in her haste to get to the food.

Avoxes ladle thick carrot soup into their bowls before handing out plates of roasted ham and rice. A blackberry pie is passed around for dessert.

Juniper licks her plate clean and asks an Avox to fetch her paper and a pen in a sweet voice. "So, I was thinking—"

"Uh oh."

Dahlia kicks Wyatt under the table. He winces and mimics zipping his mouth shut.

Juniper drums her fingers against the grand oak table as she thinks. "You need allies, right? I'm gonna assume that you two are sticking together." The tributes nod and she scribbles something onto the wad of paper. "Finnick and Mags are an obvious choice — I mean, the old lady may slow you down a bit, but he's not going to leave her. Besides, allying with them will get you more sponsors."

"How?" Malaki saws his fork through a large piece of pie.

Juniper scans her notes and chews the end of the pen. "I mean, think about it. Dahlia and Finnick have been on the front page for the last four months. People are invested in their relationship. It's the perfect opportunity to gain sponsors."

"All they have to do is fight side by side and share a few sweet moments in the arena and Panem will eat it up. That's our advantage!" exclaims Juniper.

Wyatt leans forward in the beanbag and stabs a spoon in her direction. "Juniper, I never thought I'd be saying these words, but you are a genius. I don't even have to do anything!"

He plants a kiss on Dahlia's cheek and she scowls, swatting him away with her hand. He throws his head back in a laugh and bids everyone goodnight before leaving to claim the biggest bedroom in their living quarters.

˚＊✿❀༓❀✿＊˚

District Nine's stylists arrive at the Training Centre bright and early the next morning. Forrest, who has bushy eyebrows and uneven facial features, has been Wyatt's stylist since he volunteered during the sixty-sixth Hunger Games.

Forrest takes his time drinking a glass of champagne as if he doesn't have a care in the world regarding the tight schedule they are on.

Bloom, on the other hand, is a woman on a mission. She's typically an independent worker, but she has brought four assistants to help get Dahlia ready for the tribute parade that evening.

It turns out she isn't the only one cracking under the pressure.

Dahlia isn't given a chance to wake up and she's still half-asleep as someone glosses a nail varnish over her fingernails. She sits in front of the vanity and watches Bloom pull a straightening iron through her hair. "What outfit have you pulled out of thin air this time, I wonder?"

Her hair sizzles in the straightener and a soft smile plays on Bloom's lips. "You'll see," she evades the question with ease. Being Capitol means being born with the ability to avoid any topic in the history of mankind and she is no exception. "Just trust me. It'll be a showstopper, darling."

"I don't doubt it for a moment."

Her dark hair ends up being pulled back into a French twist with glittery hairpieces weaved into it. A few strands are left loose to frame her face and once she moves onto her makeup, Dahlia feels a shift in the atmosphere.

Everything has all of a sudden become very real.

Part of her wants to believe this is a horrible nightmare that she'll wake up from in a matter of minutes. The logical part of her brain knows better.

Yesterday was the last day she would step foot in her house. There would be no more train journeys to and from the Capitol. No more holidays or birthdays, winters or summers, sunrises or sunsets. This was it. She is going to die in that arena. Sooner or later, she has to come to terms with that, but for now, she has to stay focused.

Bloom dips her thumb into a pot of purple glitter and drags it across her eyelids before flicking her lashes out with a wand of mascara. She runs over her lips with a tube of gloss and attaches a pair of heavy silver hearts to her ears.

Her feet are crammed into a pair of high-heeled leather boots and Bloom finally reveals the outfit she will be wearing to the tribute parade.

It was a tight-fitted gold dress with a slit down the middle. It showcased her curves and just the right amount of cleavage to get her sponsors. The top half is fluffed into feathers and in the correct light, it looks like wheat harvested straight from the fields of District Nine.

Dahlia runs her fingers over it in awe as her stylist watches with bated breath. "I love it, Bloom. Thank you."

Bloom pulls the dress off the rack. Her assistants huddle around Dahlia, stripping her out of her bathrobe and helping her fit into the gown.

As her body begins to be moulded into the shape of the dress, she can see the cars pulling up outside of the Training Centre to take them to the Tribute Parade.

As if he has a sixth sense about this kind of thing, Malaki bursts through the door wearing a neon pink outfit that makes her head spin. "Oh, you look outstanding, darling! Are you ready to leave? We don't want to be late," he splays his hands across his hips.

Dahlia moves in front of the vanity as she ties the string of seashells around her neck. Bloom frowns disapprovingly but doesn't say anything.

In the glass elevator, the floors fly past so quickly that Dahlia soon feels queasy. It's a blessing in itself when they step into the lobby of the Training Centre.

Malaki gets roped into a conversation with Haymitch Abernathy and Dahlia doesn't stay around to find out what it's about.

Outside, Peacekeepers hold back reporters who are desperately trying to get tributes and mentors alike to answer their questions. Dahlia steps into the sunlight, and a camera crew from Capitol News ambush her halfway to her car. The rest of the reporters followed the flock.

"We meet again, The Angel of Death," Alistair D'Ettord grins and shoves a mic in her face. "Did you volunteer to go back into the Hunger Games for the glory? How many tributes do you plan on killing this year?" Alistair eagerly motions for his camera crew to zoom in on her face.

Dahlia stands like a deer in headlights as blood seeps through her fingertips. She wipes her hands on her dress and tries to block out the sound of the cannon firing one, two, five, nine, thirteen times. "As many as I have to," she smiles sweetly and struts away without sparing him another glance.

She weaves her way through the crowds and spots Wyatt standing by their car. He's tailored in a crisp gold suit that shimmers in the sun; it's simple but effective. He spots her in the crowd and a smile spreads across his face. He gives her a boost into the car and jumps in beside her.

"Wyatt Riley, where've you been hiding this little number?" she teases, wiggling her pointer finger up and down as the driver pulls into the main lane of traffic.

"I could ask you the same question," he raises a dark brow and vaguely gestures to her dress. "Bloom's a credit. She outdid herself again this year."

The driver pulls into an enclosed part of the Remake Centre, where their chariots lay in wait. Many of the tributes and mentors are already deep in conversation when they arrive, and as their car rolls to a stop, Wyatt helps her out before leaving to find Juniper.

Dahlia sets her feet on the uneven floor and finds the chariot marked with a number nine. Stroking the white horses, she feeds one a sugar cube and runs her hands through its mane. She's in a world of her own and doesn't hear someone calling her name until they are a few feet away from her.

Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen saunter over, dressed in matching black outfits. Peeta smiles at her but she doesn't return the sentiment, too focused on sizing the pair up. "Dahlia, right?" He sounds older than he is and it's hard to believe he has just turned seventeen. She nods and goes back to stroking the horses. "It's nice to finally meet you in person. We've heard a lot about you."

Katniss lingers nervously behind him and tries to get a feel for what kind of person she is. Peeta on the other hand, is more friendly and he extends a hand for her to shake. "I think what you did was really quite brave; volunteering for that younger girl," he says softly.

Dahlia keeps her eyes trained on the horses. "Well, it was the right thing to do." She doesn't like everyone treating her like some kind of hero. "I mean, you volunteered for Haymitch. That's pretty damn brave if you ask me."

Peeta murmurs a few words of agreement and ducks his head with a small smile. He glances over his shoulder to see Finnick approaching. "We should probably get going," Peeta turns back to Dahlia. "It was nice to meet you."

"Likewise," she smooths her fingers through the horse's mane and turns away from the teenagers. A familiar voice called her name and she glances over her shoulder, eyes locking with Finnicks sea-green irises. "What do you want?" she deadpans.

Her snappiness doesn't deter Finnick and she begins to wonder if anything ever will. "I missed you too, honey. Sugar cube?" She plucks a piece of white sugar from his open palm and pops it into her mouth. "It's meant to be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to eat sugar but you and I... well, our impending deaths are just around the riverbend."

Dahlia's lips quirk into a smile and she ducks her head to hide it. She's grown to appreciate his warped sense of humour, perhaps because it matches her own. "You know, that may be the smartest thing I've heard you say since I met you. I didn't think you had it in you."

Finnick sucks his teeth and clutches at his heart. "You wound me, love." The colour rushes to her face and he takes a taunting step forward. "Do I make you nervous, honey?"

Dahlia's brain just about short-circuits at that. He's standing so close that she can smell the salt air that clings to his skin.

A sudden surge of confidence bursts through her as she sees other tributes with their attention trained on them.

She closes the gap between them, snaking her arms around his neck and leaning in until her teeth graze the shell of his ear. "Play along," she whispers, pulling back and firmly planting her lips on his own.

Finnick's taken aback by her boldness but it doesn't take him long to follow her lead. He pulls away and blinks incredulously at the smug smile she wears. "I didn't think you had it in you," he chuckles, using her own words against her.

"Break it up lovebirds!" Wyatt hollers, holding onto Juniper's hand tightly. Their younger counterpart has a habit of running off if she isn't tethered to somebody.

Juniper wrestles her wrist out of his grip and flaps her hands excitedly as she makes a b-line for the white horses at District Nine's chariot. She gently pats the horse's neck. "Do you think we could get a horse when we go home, Lia?"

Dahlia's heart flips in her chest at the mention of home. Finnick reaches down and gives her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Sure, June. Why don't you write to Ivy and run the idea by her?" she suggests.

Juniper nods before standing up straight and leaning in so that no one can overhear them. "I can't work out if you two are really together or not—" she whispers, "—but if you hurt her, I'll cut off your balls and turn them into a pair of maracas. Got it?"

"Got it," Finnick agrees, fixing her with an amused look. Backstage assistants let them know that there are five minutes until showtime and once Dahlia is settled in the back of the chariot, he leaves to assist Mags.

Dahlia sucks in a deep breath, palms damp with sweat. Wyatt keeps cracking god-awful jokes and she welcomes the distraction.

District One's chariot leads the way into the Parade Centre and as they begin to move, Wyatt interlinks their fingers together, trying to help her maintain some balance in the high-heeled boots. The sunlight is blinding and the audience stretches on for miles.

People in the stands wave signs of support and point at their favourite tributes that pass by. Her hearing has always been impeccable and if the crowd was anything to go by, she and Finnick were fan favourites this year.

Their white horses loop around the city circle and stop outside President Snow's mansion. He stands on a platform, dressed in a red suit and clasping a glass of wine in his withered hands.

Panem's national anthem sounds through the overhead speakers. As they travel around the bend of the city circle for the final time, Dahlia locks eyes with Snow and refuses to break his gaze until he's a dot in the sea of people.

[newkatzkafe2023]

@lara-legomonkiekid

I remembered something about the Monkey King's sticks, most of their staffs can only be held by the Monkey King himself(In LMK MK he can also hold it and in Monkey King Netflix there is no such rule but he can only talk to his own stick)

What if Y/N can hold Monkey King's sticks, how would they react?(For the Netflix version it would be what if Y/N could talk to the stick too).

I'll be using monkey (Y/N) Because she is a whole ass enigma at this point😂

(LMK Wukong) It all started when he introduces you too his successor Mk. You stood on the side and watching the two train when Wukong knock the staff out of mk's hands and sent it flying. Since It was heading towards you you quickly caught it in your right paw. It went to give it back to MK. I can tell you that his jaw was pretty much touching the floor. You should probably take another picture.

Mk: You didn't tell me she can hold the staff too

Of course he didn't because he didn't know either😱😱😱

(MK Reborn Wukong) There was this demon that was harassing the both of you. Calling you both horrible names like Freaks, dirty monkeys or other Horrendous things that I don't want to say out loud. You were pretty sure he hit the demon was following you two because this's been going on for 3 hours. Just when he's had enough Ready to bash his face and you beat him to it by grabbing his staff from him And going absolutely Insane on the idiot. He was just gonna scare him off but damn. I don't believe he's gonna register that, You can carry his staff until after you create a blood stain on the grass. That's gonna be a fun conversation.

(Nezha Reborn wukong) I honestly think you would use his staff more then him. He wasn't all that surprised To discover that you can use it I mean your are not to be underestimated as his monkey Queen. It would only make since if you can tap into his power

(HiB Wukong) You had once literally pull his staff out of his head. Which stocked his times 10x. As far as he was concerned, he was the only one who can Summoned his staff. But here you are surprising him again by Yanking staff out of his head and going to battle with it.

(Netflix Wukong) I honestly think the staff would rather have you holding it than him. He was shocked that you were able to hold and talk to it. And now you'll be here gossiping about him. He is so done but he's glad you get along together

Stick: Man you are so cool and powerful and you hang out with him what do you see him of anyway🤨🤔😒

Monkey Queen (Y/N): He's cute and he makes me laugh🥰🤭😘

(Netflix Wukong) Don't you talk about me like i'm not here😥😥😫😫

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG 😇 👍