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starlingsrps · 2 years ago

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when i first saw you.

the princess neledinsky invites anna to a poetry reading and george accepts for her and cancels a hair appointment before she can even consider the invitation. it’s important for her to spend more time with her future sister in law, george says when she asks. eugenia is part of the intellectual set at court and it will do her some good to be around her and her friends. after all, she needs to use her brain more - she won’t be young and pretty forever, he says, wagging his pen at her with an indulgent smile as though she’s misbehaved. when that happens, she’ll need something to offer the empress to stay in her good graces.

besides, she can have her hair done any time. it looks fine now.

eugenia neledinsky doesn’t like her but anna knows it’s futile to try and make george understand that. she and his wife are dear friends and maria has few things to say in anna’s favor beyond her use to the family. george seems to think that they all

just need to spend more time together but after eugenia had called her a bit of fluff to her face at a dinner party, anna had wearily put down her weapons. there’s surely an angle in this invitation but she sends her apologies to her hairdresser and asks her maid to find her something intellectual and sober to wear.

she feels plain when eugenia comes to walk with her and maria to the salon and feels stupid by the time they arrive. she wishes she had her armor, such as it is. she isn’t as well read or clever as eugenia and maria but she’s at least usually better dressed than either of them. she’s certain that she last wore this dress for a church service during lent and it’s hard to feel confident (or at least fake it) when she doesn’t feel comfortable in her dress or wedged next to maria and eugenia.

the former gives her a sharp look. “anna, if i wanted someone to squirm like a child, i would have liberated grisha from the nursery.”

the comparison to her four year old nephew stings but anna folds her hands neatly in her lap and gives her a tight smile. someone is slipping into the empty seat next to hers anyway - her fantasies of biting back will have to wait for another time.

the man jostling to sit next to her has much longer legs than hers and even though she tries to discreetly fold herself out of the way, there’s still barely enough room for both of them. she catches a glimpse of waving, unpowered dark hair and an apologetic smile but before he can speak, the poet for the day takes the floor and anna finds a new depth to her misery. monsieur cigrand is a favorite of maria and eugenia’s, a dry and dusty creature who meanders through the courts boring people half to death with painfully descriptive poetry and eating them out of house and home before slinking off again. she’s always found him tedious and his work overwrought but maria and eugenia insist it’s because she’s unmarried and knows nothing of passion. not wanting to be marched to the altar any faster than planned, anna keeps it to herself that she knows enough and still finds that cigrand makes the act of sex sound unpleasant enough to scare off the most seasoned of whores.

his voice is booming enough that she risks a sigh. in response, she hears a huff of laughter from the man next to her and a quick, admonishing hush from maria. she’ll never hear the end of it now which means she’s in for a lecture from george in the near future but she can’t help it - it’s boring.

and agonizing. monsieur cigrand goes on and on for what feels like forever but anna isn’t brave enough to crane her neck to see what the time on maria’s dainty watch pin says. she already has strikes against her so, as much as it pains her, she keeps her ears trained on the oration and her back as straight as possible. when it finally ends, eugenia and maria flit to his side and anna allows for another sigh.

the man sitting next to her leans in slightly and anna catches a whiff of clean linen and sandalwood. “is he always so-“

anna darts a quick glance towards eugenia and maria to be sure they’re still fawning. “vivid?”

“grotesque but that’s far kinder.” his french is clear, if a bit overly correct and slow as though he’s still learning. “theodore hawke.”

he’s standing now and even when he bows at the waist, he’s still taller than her. most people are, anna finds. he wear his hair short and his clothes are simple and dark but his eyes are friendly. she bobs her head in acknowledgment - this must the new english poet she’s heard has arrived. it would explain the opinions on cigrand and awkward french. englishmen never bother to learn russian and her majesty prefers french all the same. “anna-“

“anna petrovna,” eugenia hisses, beckoning her to join her and maria.

she gives him a tight smile and another nod. “if you’ll excuse me, i’m needed elsewhere. a pleasure to meet you.” when she stands he offers her his hand and while she doesn’t need it, manners have her taking it all the same.

“would you like an escort?”

he doesn’t drop her hand right away, only letting go when she glances down at it with raised eyebrows. she hadn’t meant it as a deterrent and regrets it, chooses to smile up at him. “if you’d care to be bored to tears, i’m happy to make the introductions.”

#type: writing #s: anna x theo

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grishaverse-chaos · 3 years ago

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okay so our first hint that the darkling's "good intentions" were either a lie all along, or got corrupted somewhere over the several hundred (thousand?) years he's been alive SHOULD HAVE BEEN when he massacred hundreds of grisha at the little palace

like?? he really said "i want to protect grisha!!!!1!1!1!1!" and then slaughtered practically the entire second army

so y'all can say he had good intentions all along, that he wanted grisha to be safe, that his motives were good even if his methods weren't, that he wanted to make change and protect people - but let's fucking face it, all he really wanted was power, and the massacre at the little palace in siege and storm was proof of that

#grishaverse #the darkling #mayhem.txt #it's just SO funny to me. ''i want to protect grisha!!'' *murders several hundred grisha*#like. why would you do that #if you want people not to be scared of grisha have you considered: not making an army of grisha which is separate from the normal army #if you separate all grisha from normal/otkazat'sya society then OF COURSE otkazat'sya aren't going to trust grisha!!#he really just made every wrong decision he possibly could over several thousand years and then was surprised when none of them worked #anti darkling #mayhem grishaverse originals

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bookishdream · 3 years ago

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flame

Matthias girlies, this one is for you <3

Matthias didn’t know when he fell for her. She was awfully sarcastic, even when the situation was serious. She was laughing louder than any girl in Fjerda ever did. But she was always there for him, when he needed her. After the Ice Court mission, when Kaz and the gang rescued her from the prison, she understood him like no one ever had. When Matthias was waking up from one of his recurring nightmares, she was the first one, who he sought. One night, Matthias knew he fell for her, and the thought scared him, because he was supposed to kill her kind; hunt them, so their criminal tendencies wouldn’t put normal people, his people, in danger. But one of these nights, when the dream was so vivid, he realized that she was his person, and there was no turning back from that.

They were hiding at this cemetery, whose name Matthias couldn’t care less to learn. After their seldom successful mission, Kaz was planning how to get Inej out of Van Eck’s imprisonment, Jesper was sorting out issues with his father and Matthias was trying to bury his feelings, deep down with the corpses already inhabiting the grounds that they were on.

“Are you okay Matthias?” He hated how polite you were. Every time you asked for his permission when you wanted to touch him, or clean his wound that he got from punching the gravestone. And you’d never used your powers on him. For a Grisha, you weren’t using your powers much, and Matthias had never paid attention to the reason why, hell, he didn’t even know what kind of witch you were. “You seem lost in your thoughts.”

“I’m fine” he snapped, regretting it seconds after when you flinched at his tone. He let out a shaky breath, noticing how he could actually see his own breath. Then he took a note of you shivering. Matthias took one of the moldy blankets that Kaz brought there a few days ago, and wrapped the material around your shoulders.

“Thanks” you let out a weak laugh. His chest filled with a sour feeling, despising how he couldn’t help you more. He considered wrapping his own arms around you, and sharing his warmness, but he didn’t expect you to appreciate the gesture, after his awful treatment. “I wish I had my powers back” you murmured.

“Back?” he questioned, sending you a confused look. You chuckled at his face, rubbing your ice cold hands.

“In the Ice Court, they were torturing me to the point, where my Inferni powers just…” you trailed off. Matthias looked at you, your tangled hair, your bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under your eyes. “I don’t know what exactly they did, but I cannot even make a spark.”

“Y/N” he whispered. You raised your eyes at him, sending a bolt of energy down his spine. “I am so sorry”

“It’s okay, Matthias” you took his hand. He could feel how cold your palms were, putting his other hand on the top of yours. “You weren’t there”

“Might’ve as well could be” he was still whispering, scared that if he raised his voice, you’d stop talking. “Those were my people that did this to you. That still do this to other Grishas”

“You cannot change this, love” his heart swelled at the term of endearment leaving your mouth. “You’re no longer like them Matthias, you have changed”

“But I cannot erase my past”

“Indeed, but you can change your future.” He didn’t know when you got closer to him, when your other hand was holding his forearm, when only one turn of either of your heads would lead to unbelievable things. “You’re better than them”

“Do you really think so?” his voice was full of hope, his eyes were locked with yours and he could see little flames burning in them.

“Well, you did save me. Doesn’t that make you a changed man?”

He couldn’t wait any longer, his lips were on yours faster than he could think of the repercussions of his actions. Your lips were cold, and neither of you were moving, waiting for someone to do the next step. You took out your palm out of Matthias’s hold and when he thought you would move away from him, you placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him even closer. He sighed straight in your lips, and kissed you, this time harder. One of his hands was squeezing your waist, under the blanket and you shiver at the feeling of his cold, rough fingertips, touching your bare skin. The second one was on your neck, caressing it. The forgotten blanket was pooled around you, creating a nest. When you parted, your breaths were mixing and your lips were swollen, but both of you were smiling at each other.

“You have flames in your eyes” he said, placing the blanket around your shoulders again. You smiled at him, embracing him.

“And you have a flame in your soul, Matthias”

#matthias helvar x reader #matthias helvar #six of crows one shot #six of crows #crooked kingdom #x reader

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thebadgerclan · 3 years ago

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Threat

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Requested by Anonymous

Summary: The Crows receive a threat...

Kaz, Inej, Nina, Matthias, Wylan, Jesper, and you were instructed to gather in the common area of the Slat for a debriefing. What on, you weren’t sure, but your fiance’s tone was clipped when he’d told you all. After you’d changed after the job, you’d descended the stairs, bracing yourself for whatever horrible news was coming. Kaz intercepted you, and when he did, he let his can fall to the floor, pulling you into his arms and clutching you to him.

“Woah,” you said, nearly losing your balance. “Kaz, honey, what’s wrong.” He didn’t answer, but held you tighter, his breathing shaky. “Later,” was all you got, and after a moment, your fiance loosened his hold on you, limping to the common area. You followed him, and when Kaz took his seat, he pulled you into his lap, his arms snaking around you. This was unusual for two reasons: Kaz preferred to keep this level of affection behind closed doors, and sitting in your finance’s lap usually aggravated his leg. But Kaz didn’t seem to care, and when you tried to shift away, he whined and pulled you closer.

The rest of the Crows filed in, varying looks of confusion on their faces, and they sat. “So,” Jesper said, his arm draped around Wylan’s shoulders. “What’s this all about? We’re not usually debriefed.” Kaz inhaled sharply before speaking. “I was ambushed today on the way back. Threats were made, very specific, credible threats, and I don’t want to take any chances.” Nina sat up a bit straighter. “What threats?”

He was walking one second and flat on the cobblestones the next. There was a dagger to his jugular, and Kaz focused on remaining still. “I’ll say this once and only once. Keep your asses off Razorgull territory, or we’ll cut the skin from your pretty little fiance’s body with that Suli trash’s knives and turn it into a coat. And that Heartrender you keep around? We’ll carve her heart out and feed it to the Fjerdan. Oh, and your demo man? Consider his intestines garland for your pathetic house. Hmm, I suppose your Zemini could be useful. We’ll have him make the caskets before we kill him.”

This wasn’t the first time another gang had threatened his Crows, but they were general enough. Most people knew Kaz ran with a Suli, a Fjerdan, a Zemini, a demo man, a Heartrender, and you, but that was common knowledge. But the assailant’s next words chilled his very soul. “I think we’ll use Sankta Lizabeta first. Those rose etchings will look so beautiful filled with blood. Then, I think we’ll take those shiny, pearl handled guns, load them up, and shove the barrel against your precious demo man’s temple. Do you think he’ll cry for Jesper? Or maybe his mother, Marya, is it.

“Your Suli’s blades will do nicely to take your Grisha’s heart, poor thing won’t even be able to fight back, after her fight with parem. I know Fjerdan culture says wolves are sacred, but do you think the disgraced drüskelle will eat a witch’s heart?” Again, all things a devoted assassin would know, but then, the assailant continued. “Top floor, second window, Schuyler lock. I know where your fiance sleeps, and I promise you, her death will not be pleasant.” He then spoke details that no Razorgull should know, things that proved that whoever this assassin was, he was more than capable of carrying out his threats.

Kaz relayed this information to his Crows, all while keeping a tight grip around your waist. He was scared, you could tell, and you kissed his temple and laid a hand on his cheek, hoping to soothe him. “My point is, this is a credible, real threat, and we need to take it seriously. The Razorgulls have been after us for a long time, and now they seem to be in a position to strike. And I will not let the ones I love the most get hurt.”

“Aww, you love us?” Jesper said, and Wylan slapped his arm. “I care about you, yes. So for the time being, nothing gets said to anyone outside the 7 of us. Absolutely nothing. Radio silence, understood?” The Crows nodded, and Kaz stood, lifting you into his arms. “I’ve had your beds and personal effects moved to different rooms. The Gulls know where we sleep, and we’re not going to let them keep knowing. Blackout curtains have been hung as well, do not open them, under any circumstance.”

And Kaz turned and left, carrying you up the stairs and into what used to be Inej’s room. Your bed and trunk had been moved here, but the walls were still decorated with Suli maps and Inej’s tastes. Your fiance set you down long enough to change clothes before lying down and pulling you into his chest. “I will not let anyone hurt you, or my Crows,” he said, kissing you deeply. It was a needy, urgent kiss, and you deepened it, trying to convey the love and trust you felt for Kaz.

“I know you won’t, Kaz,” you whispered, one hand on his chest, his heart beating rapidly beneath his sternum, the other on the back of his neck, keeping his lips on yours. “I love you.” “I love you too, Y/N, no one will hurt you, I won’t let them.” You only nodded, kissing your fiance again. “If anyone comes near you, I’ll kill them. I will protect you, my love, Y/N, I promise.” Again, you nodded, knowing Kaz’s words and actions were to comfort himself as well as you. But you felt little fear. If Kaz Brekker said he was going to protect you, then you were safe.

#kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #kaz brekker x you #shadow and bone reader insert

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atlas-of-a-human-soul · 4 years ago

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Draw your swords, pt. 3

Summary: While his bride is exacting her plans from the very first day in Little Palace, the Darkling finds he has a soft spot for the enemy.

Warnings: sexual references, swearing, angst

Part one // Part two

=================================

The last thing Y/N expected upon waking up was to wake up alone. Spreading out in the bed, she huffed a loose strand of her hair off her face. Narrowing her eyes, she stared up at the canopy with her wicked husband on her mind.

After the way he had acted the night before, she found herself wondering what game he’s playing. They were meant to be married in paper only, yet he seems to have a possessive streak that extends to her as well. A part of her wasn’t sure if he truly had a shred of decency within considering he didn’t take advantage of their marital status, but the other part of her wasn’t easily swayed. That part of her remained defiant as it was forged in a fire the Darkling set. Intentionally or not, his actions have damaged her before they ever even met and she wasn’t very forgiving.

Opening the door, unannounced, strolled in the most beautiful woman Y/N had ever seen. Her long, auburn hair was perfectly styled and framed her face without obscuring an inch of her stunning beauty.

Genya, she realized. Even on the other side of the fold, Y/N knew of the empresses’ tailor.

Large, amber eyes fix on Y/N who slowly sat up. She stared at Genya without shame, admiring her appearance.

“Well, from what the general told me, I expected I’d have more work on my hands.” Genya huffs, her hands on her hips as her lips form a thin line.

“I have nothing wrong with me”, Y/N defends, graciously getting out of the bed that was far too comfy considering who she shared it with. “And where is the general?” Raising her eyebrow, Y/N folded her arms. No matter where he disappeared to, she couldn’t let him wander too far in case he tries to break their agreement and attend a meeting alone.

Humming, Genya didn’t try to hide her curiosity as she looked Y/N up and down. “Are you sure you don’t need my services?”

Glancing at the door, Y/N saw the servants waiting in front for a command. “Leave us”, Y/N waves them off, swiftly closing the door behind them. Her eyes settle on a seemingly startled Genya who cocks her head to the side.

“Interesting. So you do need me?”

Inhaling deeply, Y/N nods. Coming closer, her eyes remain on Genya’s whose gaze drifts at first. Once Y/N stopped before her, their eyes met.

“I need you, but not as a tailor.”

Furrowing her eyebrows, Genya steps back. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Swallowing thickly, Y/N licked her lips. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you hate the emperor and you’d do anything to make sure he never lays a hand on you?”

Genya’s nostrils flare, her lips drawing back between her pearly whites. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m loyal to my emperor.”

“I know”, Y/N reaches for her hand, “I’m saying if your loyalties shifted, I’d make sure that fat fuck died in agonizing pain.”

Yanking her hand out of Y/N’s reach, Genya stepped back with wide eyes.

Gnawing on the inside of her bottom lip, Y/N wished she was more tactful. Hearing of Genya and her fate, she assumed she’d gladly ally with her in this fight. Not only does she need Genya on her side to fight against Kirigan, but the emperor as well. Genya would have been an ideal ally if only she was willing to hear her out. But she should have waited, befriended the Grisha. She should have been more tactful.

“Does the general know of the treasonous plans you speak of?”

Chuckling in disbelief, Y/N shakes her head, “Do you truly believe I’d be breathing if he did?”

Pursing her lips, Genya turned her back on Y/N, contemplating all the possibilities that could stem from her decision.

“It’s a lot, I know, but I am here with a few secrets of my own.” Y/N takes a step closer, her hand clasping Genya’s shoulder as a show of support. “I realize you barely know me, but we can change that now.”

“How?” Genya whispers, more to herself than Y/N who released a shaky sigh.

“By revealing a secret that would be lethal for me if you shared it with anyone.”

Glancing over her shoulder, Genya’s eyes narrowed at Y/N who felt genuine, more than anyone had been since the day she arrived in the Palace. Despite the initial mistrust, Genya nods.

The guards stationed outside of Y/N’s room only heard a loud gasp behind closed doors, unaware that very gasp was a start of a friendship that would define Ravka’s future.

Meanwhile, the Darkling had spent the morning out in the fields. Riding his favorite horse usually served as a way to distract his mind from ongoing worries, but it had no such effect today. No amount of speed or distance could possibly erase the feeling of Y/N’s hand on his body, much less of her body pressing against him.

He behaved as a pious man, an honorable gentleman with self-restrain of a saint. If he could, he’d have taken her without regrets, but he never crossed that line and doing so with a woman meant to be his wife would set him on a path of no return – of true evil.

The Darkling may have done some heinous things, but they were never without reason. If he had done anything against her wishes, he’d be beyond redemption and he couldn’t help but grit his teeth every time he imagined himself losing his mind around her long enough for her to turn him into the villain she sees him as.

Another thing he’s decided to do is break the rule he knew she expected him to uphold – sleeping in separate chambers was the worst thing for them now. He had to be in her bed every night, regardless if she wanted to let him between her legs or not. He wouldn’t force her, that much would be true, but he wouldn’t sleep in his own room anymore. The room they were given last night would be the one he goes to, stumbles to, crawls to, in order to fall asleep beside her. And though it’s a risk as he could easily find himself with his throat cut, he refused to back down.

Dismounting, he headed to the map room where his subordinates waited for further instructions regarding the war.

“Shall we start?” The Darkling tossed his riding gloves on the desk as he looked at his people. A new face caught his attention, making him do a double take until his dark skies narrowed at her.

“Now that you’ve arrived”, Y/N stands, smiling sweetly. “I believe we can present to you what we’ve discussed while you were off on a joy ride.”

There’s nothing sweet about her, Darkling realizes. Even her smile is coated in honey but laced with poison.

He licked his lips, “Well, if you want my opinion-“

“I don’t”, she stood her ground, “I have my own.”

Chuckling darkly, he leans forth on the table. His nostrils are flared, his hands gripping the edges until his knuckles turn white. “And what exactly is that?”

“We agreed on having the First army general having a vote in the decision making process as you all do, and since I’m his proxy, I’ve decided you will no longer use humans as canon meat.”

Gliding the tip of his tongue over the inner side of his teeth, he stared at Y/N as if she were made of glass he had every intention on shattering. That would be a mistake – glass is only brittle until it breaks, the shards can cause more damage.

“We will train Grisha to protect humans and humans will use their weapons to protect the Grisha in a more effective manner with the emperor’s gold.”

“Gold?” Kirigan says through gritted teeth as she approaches him, her hands behind her back and he has no doubts she’s stashed a weapon in them and the blue kefta she wore. He’d tell her to take it off and never wear one since she’s but a human, yet as his wife, she was entitled to a kefta. Besides, she looked like a dream in one.

“The emperor agreed to fund the First army’s armory during breakfast”, she smirks, lifting her head up to maintain eye contact.

“Get out”, he grumbles.

Raising her eyebrow, she giggles, “Are you that incapable of admitting I may have opinions and capabilities with potential to do better than the ones you brought before the emperor?” Hardening her gaze, she cups his cheek so tenderly he felt a shiver run down his back. “Did I hurt your feelings?”

“GET OUT!” He turns to the others, watching them scramble to leave before he unleashes the darkness everyone feared. Once the last one left, the door slamming behind them, Kirigan locked his eyes on hers.

“Don’t ever try to get inside my head”, he snarled, slamming her against the door. As his heartbeat echoed in his ears, they stayed there with his grip crushing her wrists, keeping them pinned to the wall.

She didn’t breathe, trying to guess his next move. There was a risk she’d push him over the edge and she quite liked herself in one piece, so she waited – waited for him to move first despite the aching pain in her wrists. Releasing a shuddered breath, her chest deflates.

Finally, his eyes soften as he realizes he might have scared her and while he’d usually triumph, he found no satisfaction in being rough with her. He imagined himself releasing her from his grip, cupping her cheeks and asking for forgiveness, but the way she refused to blink made him unsteady. Yet he whispered still, “It’s too dark for you.”

Squinting, Y/N pressed her lips into a thin line. She easily breaks out of his grasp, shoving him against the wall with her forearm on his chest. Trailing her hand lazily towards his neck, she tightens her grip, lightly choking him. Pulling him down, she stands on her tiptoes as well. Leaning in, her lips brush against his ear; whispering, "Darling, you may wield darkness but you don't know the meaning of dark."

Stepping away, she raised her chin defiantly and he wished he could grasp it and pull her lips to his until her jaw relented and her mouth opened for his. And that’s when he realized – why would he hold back?

Her eyes drifted up to his and she knew his resolve was gone. His lips captured hers in a hard kiss, driving them apart with the force of it. There was something gentle about it, regardless of the brute strength he used to push her into the door. She felt the door rattle against her back as he shifted, pressing her into it, taking her face between his hands.

When he kissed her, she felt as if she were losing his mind. She couldn’t comprehend why her hand wasn’t holding her dagger at his neck, or why she allowed herself to moan into the kiss as if he had brought her pleasure.

Every thought she once had evaporated as the darkness of lust drew her in, bending all her rules, stealing the last trembling bit of restraint. She tries to pull away, to stand firm and turn away his affection if she could call it that.

“No”, he whispers, bringing her lips back to his.

And when he kissed her again, she wasn’t sure she wanted her sanity back. She slid her hands under his kefta, wrapping arms around him to press him closer. The low groan at the back of his throat, a small, pleading noise set every inch of her skin on fire.

Opening her eyes, they widen as she notes his are closed as he lost himself in their passionate exchange. A single intelligent thought formed inside her mind, sparking others to appear as well. Playing with fire is her favorite hobby, but this wasn’t a game – not when she was losing.

Pushing against him with all her might, Y/N gasped for breath as he stumbled back. Wiping her mouth with the back of her hand, she narrowed her eyes at him. Lifting her chin, Y/N met his gaze decidedly. After all, she couldn’t avoid her marital duty if she allowed him to kiss her like that. He may not be an old, unattractive, undeveloped man she had imagined in her mind, but Y/N still wasn’t quite keen on giving herself to him. She had kept her maidenhood all those years only to lose it to a man who shall never be more to her than a husband in name only. She’d never love him…she promised herself that. She never broke a promise before and he would not be the one who changes that.

“Don’t touch me”, she spoke through clenched teeth.

He looked at her in surprise. There was hatred in her enchantingly cold eyes, her cheeks flushed red. If possible, her anger made her even more beautiful. Never had he felt such a raging desire.

His hand went around her neck, his thumb digging into the soft flesh. “You are my wife,” he said in a low voice. “You are mine!”

“I believe we have already covered that. I’m not yours and I never will be.” Y/N told him with such spite, such determination that he let her go immediately.

“You’re untouched, aren’t you?” Darkling’s voice softened, his eyes holding more understanding than she liked. Had he acted unreasonably and taken her against her will the night before or now, she’d at least be right about his horrid heart and vile mind…but he didn’t. Instead of being a savage she imaged him to be, he offered her gentle understanding.

“I��m sorry I was rough. I’ll try and be gentler. If you don’t want to go through with this, I won’t force you.” Running a hand across his face, he leaned back on the table. “I want you…really fucking bad, but I won’t take you against your will.” The Darkling sighed as she stared at him with her doe eyes, seeing confusion pass her features.

“Good to know where you draw your line. Murder – good, rape – bad.”

Rolling his eyes, he squinted as he looked at her again, “We can’t sacrifice Grisha for your men.”

Knitting her eyebrows, Y/N could hardly believe he just forgot the kiss they shared. In seconds, he crossed his arms and the lustful look was gone. The man before her was a general once more, and though he tried to hide it, he was still a man who had a hard-on despite the subject change. She wished she could ignore the evidence his blood is still boiling for a touch, more so because he was fucking right – he wasn’t small at all.

“If you keep wasting human lives, we will stop defending yours entirely.”

Raising an eyebrow, his face hardened, “We’ll kill you.”

Scoffing, she raises her eyebrow to mimic him. “It’s you or Volcra or the Druskelle and Fjerdans or Shu. We end up dying either way.” Stepping closer, she folded her hands behind her back. “We can work together and lessen our losses or you can do it your way and have a massacre instead.”

In less than a minute, her eyes turned from ice to flame and he found himself captivated by the change.

“I’ll agree on one condition.”

His gaze roamed over her as if he is unable to fully comprehend her beauty. Only when he looked back at her eyes did he see she was troubled. Was that expression fear? The possibility struck him as so humorous he nearly laughed out loud.

“State your terms”, she snapped, refusing to concede when she’s close enough to do something she’s wanted for years – to protect the soldiers used as a shield for those who are perfectly capable of protecting themselves.

“I plan on getting to know you better”, he leaned in closer. He raised his hand, cupping her cheek just as he imagined – tenderly, enough to show dominance but not quite capable of harming her. “If you let me.”

Heart fluttering inside her chest had made her doubt herself. She stared at him, stubborn and unrelenting. “I’m still not sleeping with you.”

Chuckling, Kirigan drops his hand, noticing her relax as he steps back. With a tightness in his chest, he looked back at his wife, so small, so alone and still so fierce. He would never admit it, but he had already a sliver of love for her and knowing she did not had hurt him.

His smile falls and he nods. Clearing his throat, “How about we go for a ride in a few days?” He took her hand in his and gave her a gentle squeeze, looking up at her weary eyes.

“Does that mean I have the bed all to myself?” Raising her eyebrows expectantly, she squeezed his hands right back, as bold as ever. Genya seemed to trust him, yet Y/N couldn’t understand why. He’s too charming to be trustworthy.

Using his grip on her hand as an advantage, he tugged her closer to him and she found herself between his legs as he remained, leaning against the table behind him. His eyes flicker to her lips, “Better find more pillows, my wife. We wouldn’t want you to be the big spoon again, would we?”

With that, he turned them so swiftly, she had barely blinked as he pulled her up on the table and she gasped in surprise. Heart beating fast, she nearly gripped his kefta and claimed his lips, but he leaned in on his own accord and she had no need for brutish behavior.

The tip of his nose brushes hers and just as she begins to lean in, he takes a step back. Winking, he takes another step back.

“If you want a taste, you’ll have to ask.”

Watching his retreating figure in shock, she remained perched on the table with her mouth open and her eyes wide.

Covering her mouth, Y/N shakes her head. Her mind was right, the heart cannot be trusted.

Tags: @bruxa0007 @rangotangomango @kaitlyn2907 @thestoryofmylife9 @shelivesindaydreamswme @hxrgreeves @safetyhtom @kaqua @savannah-elliott @all-art-is-quite-useless @azure23x

PART 4

#the darkling #the darkling x reader #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #shadow and bone #the darkling fanfiction

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darling-i-read-it · 4 years ago

Text

Once Upon A Dream

Part 1/2

Prince Caspian x reader, eventual The Darkling (Aleksander) x reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: death, sadness, insinuations to smut

Author’s Note: me last night: Maya at age 5 and Maya at age 17 came together to do this for you all (and myself lol). I really hope you all enjoy this because I really really did. I wanted to do it all in one part but then I was writing and I couldn’t stop lol. (also this is not proofread lol). Inspired by this edit by @/daniellasedits on tiktok)

(@chameleon-junkie helped with the logistics! Don’t come at us, we are not Narnia experts lol.)

Summary: You, a Grisha, stumble into the wardrobe where you find yourself in Narnia. You meet Prince Caspian there whom you fall in love with. (Eventual Darkling x reader next part!)

Genre: fluff, angst at the end

Song: Once Upon A Dream by Mary Costa

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

Figured I’d tag these people cause they showed interest in this! I hope y’all don’t mind I’m just excited lol: @russian-soft-bitch, @elisaa-shelby, @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem and @draco-loves-ferrets ‘s hufflepuff friend who’s @ I do not know lol

(not my gif)

You carefully walked on the cobblestone ground. You didn’t want to make too much of a sound so you kept your steps light. As long as you could get back to your room before the Darkling arrived in the castle it would be alright.

You had never even seen the man but he struck a fear in you. That wasn’t unlike anybody else in the castle. He was a very scary man. Even his name could scare a room of people, though he was usually nowhere near. As a Grisha you had to learn about him but of course you didn’t have to actually see him.

This was your first time staying at the castle. You came up for some extra schooling. You showed some promising powers and many people considered you one of the strongest in your craft. You were likely to have to perform your powers in front of the king himself and perhaps even the Darkling.

The thought sent a shiver down your spine.

You were trying to keep your mind off of it and explore the vast castle in the meantime. Some of the rooms you found looked as though they hadn’t been touched in decades. You had made it to a floor that relatively no one else was on.

You opened another door slowly.

You stepped inside and closed it behind you, your eyes gazing around. Unlike the other rooms you had found, there was only one piece of furniture in there. It lacked the elegance of the rest of the rooms, along with the fancy things inside. Furrowing your brows, you walked up to the wardrobe in the back middle of the room. You brushed your hand on the fine craftsman and then flung it open.

“Damn. Just clothes,” you muttered to yourself. Fur coats and other keftas. You let out a sigh and grabbed the side of the wardrobe doors. You had every intention of leaving it closed until you felt a cold wind on your cheek. You looked around the room. Completely void of windows. You looked further into the wardrobe and moved the coats aside, looking for a back to it. You were surprised to find a lack of back to it. You stepped inside, moving further inside. You felt around for a back.

You didn’t find another piece of wood. Instead you felt the cool brush of wind against your hand. You moved aside the keftas and stepped into a wood, filled with trees. Snow was lightly falling onto your hand but it hadn’t begun to stick yet.

Your mouth hung open in surprise. You turned back to the wardrobe but found the coats were surrounded by even more trees, rendering it nearly invisible with the elements.

You shook your head gently as you looked around.

“Oh well, who are you?” You turned your head quickly, looking around for another human.

“Hello? Who’s there?”

“Down here.” You looked down below you, coming face to face with a beaver. They were standing on two feet, looking up at you. Your eyes went wide in surprise.

“You can speak?”

“Of course I can speak. What on Earth are you wearing dear?” You looked down at your blue kefta and furrowed your eyebrows.

“Where am I?” The beaver smiled a bit, which amazed you but you had other problems.

“Narnia darling.” “Where?” The beaver raised their head and nodded a tad.

“You’re not from around here are you?”

“No, I...I was in the castle and then I went through this wardrobe and then…” You turned to point at the wardrobe but lost it in the trees. You searched but found nothing.

“Well I don’t know what castle you were talking about. The witch’s castle is far away from here and the kings is pretty far as well,” the beaver told you. “I’m Mrs. Beaver. Perhaps you want to come back to my home and I can help you out.”

“Mrs. Beaver? Oh, uh sure.” She started to walk away and you followed her, eyes trailing back to where you had come from. It was still lost in the forest, invisible.

=====

You sat at a very small table, looking at the food the Beavers had given you. You nibbled on a couple of things.

“What is that silly jacket you were wearing?” Mr. Beaver asked. You looked down at your kefta.

“It’s my kefta. It means I’m a summoner,” you said.

“A summoner? What does that mean?” Mrs. Beaver questioned. You looked down sheepishly.

“You don’t have Grisha here?”

“Grosha?”

“Grisha,” you corrected. They gave you skeptical looks. You shook your head gently and picked up the small cup, drinking it carefully. “You have a lovely home and I thank you for your hospitality but I should probably be getting on my way.” You stood up and bent down, making sure you didn’t hit your head.

“Be careful out in the woods deary. Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” Mrs. Beaver asked. You shook your head kindly.

“Thank you but I have to get on my way. Thank you again.” They both nodded. Mrs. Beaver handed you another biscuit which you took graciously.

You left their little home and began your walk back the way you came. Wherever you were, you had to get back. Who knows what would happen if you were gone too long. Oh, you hoped you weren’t missing anything important.

You walked for a while. Your feet began to ache and you felt your kefta become uncomfortable. The sun was going to go down soon.

God, which way was it you came? Were you even going the right way? You scratched your head.

Suddenly you heard the sound of horses. You turned quickly, hiding behind a tree. You peeked behind it to see a man about your age riding a horse. He came to a slow steady stop, looking around the forest.

“Are you sure we’re in the right place? Seems very far away,” he called back.

“I’m sure my King!” King? You started to lean further out and then tripped on the stick below you. You cursed under your breath as you stumbled out from behind the tree. You looked up, raising your hands up to prepare to use your powers. The man saw you and quickly drew his sword, prompting his horse over. He pointed the sword at you.

“Who are you? What are you wearing?”

“Why does everyone care about my coat?” you muttered. “I’m Y/N. I’m a Grisha.”

“A what?”

“I don’t think I’m meant to be here. I came through a wardrobe, this isn’t my world. I’m just trying to get back to where I came from,” you told him. The man looked down at you. He recalled his friends, the former Kings and Queens. They had come through a wardrobe once. His men quickly caught up to him, stopping their horses behind him.

“Who is this?” one of the knights questioned.

“A friend,” he told them. “Stand up.” You stood up straight and brushed off your clothing. “You’ll ride with me,” he said. You nodded a bit as he extended his hand. You took it and he helped hoist you up behind him.

“What’s your name?” you questioned, sitting behind him. Your hands rested gently on his sides, a habit from having rode horses with other Grisha for years.

“Caspian.”

“Where are we going Caspian?”

“My castle.”

====

It was even better than the castle back in Ravka. Perhaps you just felt more welcome here than you had back in Ravka but either way, once you got off that horse you felt like you had entered into a dream. Caspian kept you close to him as he walked up the front doors. People parted ways when they were in his way. He called people’s names, smiled at them, asking them questions.

You were silent through it all, though you could hear the whispering.

Who was this woman with the King?

People didn’t recognize you, your clothing, your stance. Finally Caspian took you into one of his private rooms where it was only the two of you.

He sat down at the window sill and turned to you, a serene look on his face. You fidgeted nervously.

“Tell me about this land you came from.”

“You don’t think I’m insane?” He smiled a bit, shaking his head gently.

“No. Why don’t you have a seat?” He gestured to his desk chair. You walked over awkwardly and sat down in front of him.

“Animals don’t talk where I’m from. And there are Summoners and Materialki and...other things.”

“We don’t have any of that here.”

“Clearly,” you said, laughing a bit. “What about Narnia? What is it like here?” He shrugged.

“It’s a wonderful place. In harmony currently. Which is why I’m curious as to why you’ve arrived here.”

“Do people not often...come here?” He shook his head a bit and glanced out the window, recalling memories.

“People that arrive from other lands only come if they’re vastly important. The only travelers have been the former Kings and Queens.” You raised your eyebrows and looked around nervously.

“What does that mean?”

“I don’t know yet Y/N. But in the meantime I believe it would be smart for you to stay here with me until I figure it out.” You nodded.

“So I don’t believe I’ll be going back anytime soon.” He nodded.

“No, you won’t. As far as I know, you’re a danger to my land's safety, you summoner or whatever you call it.” He stood up and smiled down at you. His hair fell in front of his face gently. He had a kind face. You didn’t feel like he was a threat to you, even though he was everything but a stranger. “I’ll send someone to get you new clothes. I’m going to go and search the books to see if anything foretold you arriving.” You nodded.

“And I should just stay here?”

“I’ll have someone set you up with your own room soon. Meanwhile, stay here in mine.” You looked around at his room. There were paintings of the sea on his walls, an elegant curtain over his bed.

“Alright. Thank you.”

“Of course.” ====

Some lovely ladies brought you some clothing and took away your kefta, despite your wishes. You sat in Caspians room for a while, looking out the window and snooping around peacefully. The view was gorgeous. There was something about the people here that made you feel safe.

Caspian opened the door up carefully later that night. You had fallen asleep on top of the covers of his bed. Upon seeing you he grew quiet, placing the papers he had found onto his desk. He sat on the edge of the bed and slipped off his shoes. His movement woke you up. You sat up gently, rubbing your eyes.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” he asked. You shrugged.

“It’s alright. I didn’t mean to drift off.” You sat up as he stood, grabbing the papers off the desk and returning to the edge of the bed. “Did you find anything?” He handed you the papers. On the parchments were some words you didn’t understand and drawings of a person who looked an awful lot like you.

“Nothing specific. Just that you were meant to come.” You looked up and met his eyes.

“But what am I here for? You’re already King, you don’t need me stomping in to rule some place I hadn’t heard of before today.” He smiled a bit.

“You’re right. We aren’t at war either, which was my next thought.” He paused. “What can you do as a Grisha?” You took a deep breath and held your hand before you. After a moment of concentrating you produced a ball of fire in your hands. Caspian’s eyes went wide. “That’s amazing.” You closed your hand into a fist and lowered it.

“I can do bigger things too. I’m not too special but I’m pretty good,” you admitted. He nodded.

“We’ll find out why you’re here.” He stood. “I have your room. It’s close, in case you need anything.” You nodded and slid off the bed.

“Thank you again, for everything. You’ve been incredibly kind.” Caspian nodded, putting his hand on the small of your back. You ignored the shiver down your spine at his touch.

“The last people who came through a wardrobe here were incredibly good friends. I hope we can be the same.”

“I’d say we’re on the right track.”

====

Weeks he spent with his head stuck in books. You always stayed with him, helping him sift through the information as best you could. He had to teach you history and you learned it easily.

“Perhaps you should get some sleep,” you told him. He was sitting at the edge of your bed, buried in books.

“Just one more,” he muttered, not looking at you. You scoffed and crawled over to him, taking the book from his hand. Out of instinct you raised your hand to his cheek. Once you had done it, it couldn’t be undone so you had to go with it. You ran your hand over his cheek and ran your hand through his hair carefully.

That got his attention. He studied your face, tracing your lips with his eyes. He felt a sudden pang of love for you. At first he thought it came out of nowhere but understood that it was a feeling he had been suppressing.

“You look exhausted. Please, the books and I will be here tomorrow.” You dropped your hand. It broke him from his trance.

“You’re right. I’ll come back as soon as I can.” You nodded and put the books on your bed onto your nightstand.

“Goodnight Caspian. Sleep tight.” He lingered at the door, holding it open, looking at you.

“Goodnight Y/N.”

=====

You spent your time at Caspians castle for months. In that time you learned more about Narnia. He visited as often as he could but he was always busy. You didn’t mind. You made some other friends and you loved walking the grounds. People treated you as though you were royalty because you were Caspians personal visitor.

It was a nice life. You missed your friends back in Ravka but not enough to run away.

And you had fallen for him. You were pretty sure it had started the second you saw him in the woods that fateful day. Though he was king and would likely never feel the same way. You didn’t mind, as long as you got to see him.

You were walking in the gardens one afternoon. It was a sunny day, the rays glistening off the flower petals. You turned a corner, coming face to face with Caspian. He was smiling, holding a red flower in his hands. He offered it to you.

“You scared me,” you said, giggling nervously. You took the flower happily. “But thank you.”

“I’m sorry, I thought you saw me coming.” He gestured to the flower. “Red, like your fire.” You smiled sheepishly and smelled it.

“It smells beautiful.”

“Like you.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the warmth in your stomach.

“You’re too kind to me Caspian.” You kept on walking. He followed you close beside as you stepped on the cobblestones together.

“My friend Lucy made these gardens when she was Queen in the golden age of Narnia. I’d say she did a wonderful job.”

“I agree.”

“May I?” he asked, gesturing to the flower. You handed it to him and he placed it in your hair. You smiled sheepishly. You walked together peacefully for a few moments. You turned to him as you walked, watching his perfect peaceful features. He turned to you as well and you smiled at each other.

“I have something to tell you,” he said quietly. Your smile faltered a bit and you looked away from him.

“That doesn’t sound great.”

“We’ll see.”

“That’s not exactly promising Caspian.” He laughed a bit. He stopped walking and you turned completely to him, not able to look him in the eye.

“I think I know why you are here,” he whispered. You looked into his eyes, startled.

“You do? Well spit it out then.” He took a deep breath and raised his hand to your cheek. For a moment you were so stunned you couldn’t move. Your breathing hitched as he leaned forward slowly, letting you lean the rest of the way. You did. You kissed him carefully, your lips melting together perfectly. Your stomach erupted in butterflies, you almost weren’t able to keep yourself down. You grabbed his chin and felt your hand heating up so you had to pull away before you burnt him.

“You are meant to be Queen,” he whispered. Your eyes, which had been on his lips, quickly flicked up to his eyes.

“Is that a proposal King Caspian?” you asked, laughing in awe.

“It is if you want it to be.” You took a deep breath and took his hand off your cheek, holding it between the two of you. You watched as your fingers intertwined with his perfectly.

“Then yes. I would love to be your Queen.” Caspian had to stop himself from jumping up and down in excitement. Instead he just kissed you again.

======

The wedding was the most celebrated event that Narnia had had in quite some time. You and Caspian fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, everyone could see it. Once they realized you were there to be his, it seemed to make perfect sense.

You sat in his room the night of your wedding, looking out the window together. You leaned your back against his chest, his arms around you to hold you in place.

The festivities were still going on even though the two of you had left. Fireworks, dancing, drinks, food. You had planned enough for everyone. Caspians lips were on your head as he watched below.

“I found the page today,” he whispered.

“Huh?” He grabbed a page from his desk without moving you, placing it on your lap, on top of your white wedding dress. You picked it up. He read over your head.

“‘A stranger will come, dressed in blue. They will be the end to a single reign, they will be the glue.’ It even rhymes.” You laughed a bit. “Where was it?”

“A book that had fallen between some stacks. If only I had found it sooner.”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying my dear.” You grabbed his hand and kissed it gently, feeling the warmth of his skin against your lips. He started to kiss your neck, moving your hair aside. You giggled quietly. “Done watching?”

“Very done watching,” he whispered. You shivered and turned your head to kiss him.

“The honeymoon carriage doesn’t leave until tomorrow,” you whispered against his lips.

“You believe I think that matters?” he asked, chuckling. You scoffed but wrapped your arms around him, allowing him to carry you over to his bed.

====

“Don’t forget your sword!” you called.

“I’m just going on deck darling, no one will try and kill me up there,” Caspian called back. You scoffed and laid back down in the bed. The sea rocked underneath you but you had gotten used to it. Years of reign had not worn you down too much. The constant voyages though, were another story. You would never let Caspian leave alone but still, sometimes it caused you hardship.

You glanced at your shared room and then got up, deciding it was about time you got dressed for the day. You slipped on a blue jacket. Very different from your kefta but when you looked at yourself in the mirror it reminded you of it. You stared at your aged face. It had been many years since you arrived in Narnia. It was your home now. You could barely remember the vividness of Ravka and the people there.

Admittedly it took you a while to get dressed. But you didn’t think it took you that long. When you came on deck your husband was completely soaked and there were three teenagers beside him.

You raised an eyebrow and rushed up to Caspian, grabbing his shoulder.

“What on Earth did I miss?” you asked, checking to make sure he was alright.

“I decided to take a swim, that’s all.” He laughed and in that laugh you saw a reminiscence of his young self. You turned to the children.

“Who are these people? Where did they come from?” The little girl smiled brightly.

“I’m Lucy. This is Edmund and Eustance.”

“Lucy and Edmund? As in...the Lucy and Edmund?” you asked. She nodded brightly. You turned to Caspian.

“I’m just as surprised as you are,” he admitted.

“Who are you?” Edmund questioned.

“This is my wife. She’s from a different world than yours and Narnia,” Caspian explained.

“Interesting!” Lucy exclaimed. She smiled brightly at you.

“I love your garden,” you found yourself saying. She laughed bubbly.

“Thank you!”

You shared a look with Caspian who simply shrugged.

=====

You sat in your home, tracing Caspians fingers with yours. He was in bed, ill and old. Years of adventuring had left him tired. He raised his hand to your wrinkled cheek.

“Thank you for coming to me,” he whispered. You shook your head and held his cheek to yours.

“I was always going to find you. I will always find you.” He nodded happily and gestured to the box beside his bed.

“Your old jacket is in there. I hid it. I didn’t want you to go away,” he said weakly.

“My kefta?”

“Yes.”

“I have no use for it anymore. I’m from Narnia. I ruled Narnia. Alongside you. Which is why you can’t leave me.” He smiled and ran his hand over your cheek again.

“Like you said, you will always find me. Think of this as only a small break before we see each other again.”

“I wouldn’t even let you leave me to sail! What makes you think I’m okay with this?” you asked quietly. He grabbed your hand and held it on his chest.

“Stop being stubborn. You have fulfilled your prophecy darling.” You shook your head.

“Come on Caspian.”

He was smiling at you when he took his last breath.

In your grief you had to be ripped away from him. You stumbled the castle grounds for a while before collapsing on his bed, his body having been taken away. Your eyes shut and sleep came to you, despite your want to stay awake and weep.

====

Your eyes opened slowly. You looked above you. It was dark. You sat up, feeling some soft cloth on your face. You sat up, walking forward and leaning against the wall you felt. It quickly fell through, revealing you had been inside a wardrobe. You rubbed your eyes at the light in the room.

The room was empty. Your head hurt.

The door swang open, revealing someone you recognized but couldn’t place.

“What are you doing? You have to be in your room before The Darkling comes so that the tailor can tend to you,” he said.

“What?” you asked.

“What on Earth are you wearing?” You looked down at your clothes. It wasn’t a kefta, that was for sure. You looked back up.

“I’m sorry, I must have hit my head.” He nodded and gestured for you to follow.

You turned to the wardrobe before the door closed behind you, feeling an ache for it. Warmth and sadness and overall, love, filled your chest when you thought of it. Though you couldn’t quite place the reason.

Part 2/2

#prince caspian x reader #prince caspian imagines #narnia imagines #caspian x reader #caspian imagines #the darkling imagines #the darkling x reader #ben barnes x reader #ben barnes imagines

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rubysunnday · 4 years ago

Text

by your side

Request by anon: Hey! Congratulations on 2.6K followers! Could I request something fluffy and romantic with Matthias helvar x female reader + prompt 13) "Look at me. Look at me. Don't look at them, keep your eyes focused on me." please? thank you so much!

A/N: Shorter than usual because i struggled with inspo for this! if you like what you read, please consider buying me a coffee and donating to my Ko-fi

Ketterdam was on edge. The drüskelle had been seen roaming around the streets and each night, more and more grisha were disappearing from the streets, from pleasure houses, from hotels.

Y/N and Nina had noticed the timing and were both on high alert. Whenever they walked through the streets at night, they had their hands on their weapons and were constantly watching their backs incase anyone snuck up on them.

Matthias was on edge too, constantly watching Y/N's back when they were on jobs or even just sitting in the Crow Club.

Yes, the druskelle were once his brothers but now, he had a new family to watch out for.

Y/N was one of the best things that could have happened to Matthias. Her energy was infectious and whenever she smiled, he couldn't help but smile along too.

Matthias and Y/N had been walking down Fifth Harbour, hand in hand, enjoying their first night off together for the first time in a while. Both of them were trying to enjoy their night but they were constantly watching the side alleys or anyone looking even the slightest bit suspicious.

Y/N was a well known grisha in Ketterdam - her reputation proceeded her as it did with the majority of the Dregs. But because she was well known, it meant the drüskelle would easily spot her and work out who she was.

"Are you alright?" Matthias asked, noticing Y/N's worried gaze as they passed a dark alley.

"Just nervy," she replied, turning to look at him and giving Matthias a smile. "Oh, look!" Y/N exclaimed, letting go of his hand and running over to a food stall. "Waffles!"

Matthias smiled, his eyes crinkling as he watched Y/N try the waffles with an expression of pure joy on her face.

"Matthias, look they have flower crowns!" Y/N called, darting to the next stand and waving Matthias over.

Matthis just shook his head fondly and smiled at her. The happiness in her eyes was overwhelming - he loved it when she smiled.

Someone started screaming and Y/N whirled around to see what the commotion was. Four men, dressed in furs, all with short, blonde hair walked out into the street. The crowd parted and quickly moved out the way, not wanting to get involved.

Y/N's eyes widened with fear as the leaders eyes landed on Y/N and he pointed at her.

His yell was a death sentence. "Drusje!"

Y/N looked at Matthias for help but the drüskelle were standing between her and him and there was no way she could get to him. The drüskelle grabbed their weapons and Y/N bolted down the street.

People scattered out the way as Y/N ran down the hill, skipping the steps down to the harbour by jumping over the railing, bending her knees as she landed.

The shipyard was the best and worst place for a fight. If you had the high ground, you would win. If you had the low ground, you effectively sentenced yourself to death.

Y/N could hear the drüskelle running after her, yelling in Fjerdan as they split up to hunt her down.

Nina hadn't spared any details when she'd told Y/N about her kidnapping by the Fjerdans and how Matthias had saved her life. It was meant to scare her - just break her out of her naive, oblivious mentality that life was sunshine and roses.

The first time Y/N had run into the drüskelle, she'd barely survived her encounter.

She'd fallen out with Nina about a job and had ran out of the Slat, in tears, too engulfed in her emotions to register where she was going or who she ran past until she ran straight into a team of drüskelle.

Matthias had followed after her to make sure she was alright and had been the one to save her from the druskelle and carry her back to the Slat.

Now, however, Y/N was completely on her own. But she wasn't a naive child anymore. She had killed and fought an bled for Kaz Brekker and his crows and wasn't going to let some Fjerdans kidnap and execute her without a fight.

Y/N ran around the corner and came to a sudden halt as a drüskelle appeared at the other end of the corridor. He yelled something in Fjerdan and the three other drüskelle appeared behind Y/N, pinning her in. Y/N darted right as someone fired a gun and ran between the containers. She took another left and swore.

Three containers, stacked on top of each other, towered above her at the end of the corridor. She had run down a dead end.

Y/N knew she was cornered. She knew there was no way out. The drüskelle slowly approached, their weapons glinting in the yellow light of the street lamps towering above on the harbour wall.

"Drüsje," one of the drüskelle said.

Y/N slowly turned around to face the four drüskelle, and forced a smirk on to her face, tying to hide her fear. "No. I'm not witch." Y/N bought her hands together, listening for the four heartbeats in front of her. "I'm a heartrender."

She caught their heartbeats and gripped them tightly. The drüskelle cried out in pain, choking as their hearts were gripped by the cold hand of death.

Y/N thrusted her hands forward and the drüskelle fell to their knees. She turned her right hand and one by one, the men fell to the side, any sign of life fading from their eyes.

It took her a moment to realise what had happened. Y/N took a shaky breath in and stumbled back into the wall behind her. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, not even making an effort to slow her fall.

Four men lay dead at her feet. Four druskelle - Matthias' former brothers in arms. It wasn't the first time she'd killed - or killed this many people - but it was the fact that anyone of those people could have been Matthias.

Could still be Matthias.

"Y/N!"

Matthias. Matthias had found her.

"Y/N!"

Matthias ran around the corner and stumbled to a halt, looking down at the ground - at the bodies of the drüskelle, his former brothers in arms.

"Matthias," Y/N said, clutching a hand to her chest as the gravity of the situation hit her full force. "I... I'm sorry, I didn't - I don't -"

Y/N sobbed and curled into herself, bringing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. Matthis' eyes were wide as he stepped over the bodies and slowly approached her.

"Y/N," Matthias said quietly, kneeling in front of her. "Just breathe."

Y/N sobbed, her shoulders shaking. She couldn't breathe, the guilty was all consuming and she couldn't breathe.

"I"m sorry," Y/N cried, "I'm so sorry, Matthias, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry."

Matthias moved forward and put a hand on her shoulder. "Y/N, look at me."

Y/N looked up but her eyes looked behind him, at the bodies, at the glassy stares.

"Y/N, look at me," Matthias said, titling her chin up so that she was forced to look at him. "Look at me. Don't look at them, keep your eyes focused on me."

Y/N's eyes darted back to him and she sniffled. Matthias gently wiped her tears away with his thumb and brought her to his chest in a hug, his hand resting on the back of her head.

"Ssh," Matthias whispered, fingers stroking through her hair. "It's ok, I understand, love."

"I had no choice, Matthias -"

"It's ok, darling," Matthias whispered, dropping his head and resting his forehead against hers. "It's ok."

Y/N closed her eyes and focused on Matthias' heartbeat, the feeling of his skin under her hand, the fact that he was warm and alive.

"Come on," Matthias said, scooping Y/N up, one hand going under her legs and one around her back as he cradled her to his chest.

Y/N kept her face pressed to Matthias' shoulder as he stepped over the bodies of the druskelle and walked out the shipping yard.

Matthias set Y/N down on a bench and she wrapped her arms around herself, moving as far away from him as possible.

"You must hate me, Matthias," Y/N whispered, her eyes dark as they looked out at the ocean.

"No, I don't," Matthias said, reaching a hand out and tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"But I killed them -"

"You saved yourself, Y/N," Matthias said firmly, grabbing her hand. Y/N turned to look at him, the wind catching her hair. "You saved yourself from a fate worse than death - trust me, I know."

"Matthias - they were your brothers in arms..."

"That was before. But now," Matthias took a deep breath in, "I wouldn't hesitate to kill any of them if they threatened you, Y/N. No one is taking you from me."

Y/N dropped her head onto Matthias' shoulder and he bought his arm up to rest on her shoulder. His fingers traced a soft pattern on her arm, the warmth of his hand seeping through her shirt.

"Thank you," she whispered, threading her fingers through his.

Matthias kissed her head. "Anything for you, my heart stopper."

#shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows imagines #matthias helvar #matthias helvar imagine #matthias helvar imagines #matthias helvar x reader

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juneisafantasyaddict · 4 years ago

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If LB wanted The Darkling to be pure evil, there are literally a lot of things she could have done. But giving him a sympathetic backstory that is actually a legitimate reason for him to turn out the way he did was definitely not the way to do it. If she wanted pure evil, she could’ve given him a backstory that’s just a ridiculous sob story, not “for hundreds of years my people have been hunted and killed because of prejudice and no one did anything about it until I had enough power to.” Do you even realize how easy it is to get people to be on your side when what you want more than anything is for your people to be safe from harm?? That’s literally why we don’t get mad at heroes for killing people, it’s because we know they are protecting vulnerable people.

I’ve seen people say The Darkling is like Magneto (re: his fight against what was happening to mutants), and while that comes close, I think The Darkling is even more sympathetic because at least the XMen had the good sense to have Charles Xavier there to provide a more humane/viable alternative to Magneto’s solutions, and we got to see the difference between their methods. But, in the Grishaverse, we have a monarchy in Ravka that only sees the Grisha as useful for war but also doesn’t let them own property, we have a heroine who doesn’t seem to care about anything except meadows and her childhood crush, we have the entire country of Ravka that seems to only like dead Grisha because “new saint to build a cult over,” then we have the only person who seems to prioritize the protection of these people who have no one and we’re supposed to care that he’s ruthless with anyone he perceives as a threat to his people? When you haven’t given us a viable alternative to his methods? To make matters even worse, he’s not even imagining these threats, he is literally reacting to their aggression, e.g Fjerdans come for Alina, he uses the cut, Zlatan sends an assassin to infiltrate his secure building and kill Alina, but ends up killing another Grisha under his care, he kills the assassin and does Novikribirsk, etc.

This is not a justification of his ruthless methods of punishment for those who are threats to him and his people, this is a “you cannot expect me to focus entirely on his methods when he’s literally the only reason why his people have any semblance of protection” rant. The heroine who we think is going to save the day is basically dragged through her character development and all her progress is destroyed very quickly because of this ridiculous need to pretend that the underdog is always right (Mal, power is evil, blah blah blah).

Somehow, we’re supposed to just be ok with the fact that a group of people who haven’t exactly showed that they care about Grisha suffering are going to save them from prosecution? I mean, let’s not forget that this group includes: Mal who we already know is prejudiced against Grisha, Alina who *sigh* so much potential wasted there, Nikolai who I have decided exists for comic relief because I will not be convinced that a “maybe prince who is also a Jack sparrow type pirate should be king of a country with very complex social and political situations.” Like, I’m looking at this group of supposed saviors and honestly, I would rather take my chances with the 500 year old extremely powerful Grisha who scares everyone. Let’s not even forget that we’re somehow supposed to consider Baghra one of the good guys for “warning Alina,” even though 2 episodes later, we basically see that Baghra doesn’t exactly care about the survival of the Grisha.

Give people a truly evil villain and we will act accordingly. Don’t give us a Magneto type villain with legitimate points and then expect us to treat him like Voldermot or something. You can even decide to not understand Magneto because hello, we are given real alternatives to his problem solving skills right away. But with The Darkling it’s just “he’s pure evil because I said so, but like also this is how he got here, but also he’s super evil, but like do you understand where he’s coming from? but also he’s super evil even though he has points.” That’s not a villain dear, that’s a good person doing bad things and needs to be shown a better way.

You can’t give me an antagonist with a compelling, truly tragic backstory and then be like “now that you understand why and how this character ended up in this dark place and you can see that all this was probably avoidable if so and so did/didn’t happen, let’s totally blow up their life because so what if they’ve deeply suffered?” Especially when there’s a path to redemption right there in the protagonist who you have made sure to establish has a deep bond/connection with this person.

You want to write pure evil? Give me a character that has no remorse, no capacity to care for anyone or anything else, no reason for his cruelty, etc. Don’t give me guy who uses his power to keep his people safe and then falls in love with his soulmate so deeply he can’t stop looking at her and holding her hand in front of the whole country.

Also, can we like actually address the issue that got Nina kidnapped, made the Darkling who he is, and forces all Grisha to basically only have one life plan?

It would be so much easier to believe that The Darkling is a villain if there was an actual alternative to him, but there isn’t.

And btw, in this age of social justice, the fact that LB didn’t think people will see the value in a person from a marginalized community doing whatever is necessary to free his people from oppression is just LOL.

Ok, incoherent rant over.

#aleksander morovoza #darklina #alarking #alina starkov #the black heretic #the darkling stole my heart by being a compelling anti hero #Aleksander Morozova is an anti hero #shadow and bone netflix #grishaverse #shadow and bone #the darkling #rant post

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kallypsowrites · 4 years ago

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Shadow and Bone Overall Thoughts

I am...still dazed. It was honest to god so good. I have a few gripes here and there. A few small things I’m sad didn’t make it from the books and a few aesthetic details. But over all, I’m just so in love with it all.

THE GOOD

1. The Crows. God the Crows. They worked so well together. They were so charming. Had so much chemistry. They were funny. Jesper, Kaz and Inej each had their great moments and I honestly can’t say who I loved most. But as far as nuance goes, I loved Jesper’s humor, Kaz’s intensity and love for Inej and Inej’s faith and moral conflict. All actors knocked it out of the park.

2. Mal. I need to do a side by side comparison of how they changed his lines because its almost like someone read every line of his that I critiqued in my book reviews and changed it to be the opposite. And honestly? Bless. I was never mad at him. Now was I invested in he and Alina’s relationship? At times. But more as friends, which I’ve always liked them most as. And apparently the show does too because they didn’t kiss???? Like dang, that was a twist. And I really liked his separate arc and his poor friends. I felt for him at many moments and wanted to give him a hug! So that’s great!

3. Helnik. God I love a good enemies to lovers. They were the most removed from the main story but I. LOVE. NINA. I love her. She’s so great and so funny and they had great chemistry. My heart breaks for them and I look forward to seeing more next season

4. Kanej. I already kind of mentioned this but the INTENSITY. The LOYALTY. She KILLED someone for him!!! He killed people for her and ransomed the Crow club!!! Amazing!!

5. The scenery/effects. Outside of a few effects, all of the aesthetic was gorgeous with ONE major detail I’ll get to in a sec.

6. Alina. Jessie is perfect as her. Human sunshine. Ray of hope. light of my life. I will never picture anyone else.

7. The Darkling. Ben was so............human??? And wonderful??? And badass??? And ruthless??? And we got backstory??? I love him so fucking much.

8. Darklina bitches. Every scene was a serve. The build up. The first kiss. The make out. Absolutely wrecked me every moment. I have never seen a hotter kissing scene. And it really was so soft. Obviously there are lots of moments of toxicity, lies, manipulation. But Ben made me BELIEVE those feelings were real. Not all of that shit was faked. Unfortunately, my guy the Darkling does not know what an apology is or how to voice his feelings so he goes all villain in the final episodes, but fuck it, that was hot too.

9. Greater exploration of the politics and the reasoning. I still think it was heavy handed at times and kind of makes an unfortunate case for ‘but consider maybe the Grisha are bad and people are right to be scared of them’ at the end, but the books kinda did that too. Weirdly the show gave him more of a reason (the enemy general) so that was nice.

A few nitpicks:

1. The amplifiers. Its just...ugly. They could have been so cool. Really aesthetic. But I think they changed it just to make the collaring scene more brutal which wasn’t necessary.

2. Some worldbuilding clumsiness but only in the first episodes. After that I just started rolling with it.

3. A few missing moments from the books. Darklina stuff mostly because I’m a slut for them. But i won’t complain.

Over all, I’m a happy fucking camper. Thank you Netflix. Thank you to the cast. Thank you everyone. I’m going to watch again very soon!

#sab spoilers #shadow and bone #darklina #the darkling #general kirigan #alina starkov #six of crows #kanej #helnik #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #mathias helvar

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serpenteve · 4 years ago

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so i still hate book!mal 😒

I'm almost done re-reading the Grisha trilogy (because I hate myself) and I kept getting annoyed by how so many of Mal's lines that Bardugo clearly thought were "romantic" and swoon-worthy are literally just telegraphing how possessive, toxic, narcissistic, selfish and entitled he is?

I don't think I can fully express how completely she failed in trying to endear this character to me because so much of what he says and does reminds me of the toxic and controlling people I've known 😬

Note: This has nothing to do with m*lina shippers. This post is not for you. You guys can ship what you want and it's none of my business. This is just an examination of the book character's dialogue and why I (and many other people) felt uneasy about him.

part one: shadow & bone

We see the first glimpse of Mal's possessiveness and jealousy when he first encounters Alina at the Little Palace:

"And here you are, safe and sound, dancing and flirting like some cosseted little princess." [...] “Are you happy here, Alina?” The question took me by surprise. “I … I don’t know. Sometimes.” “Are you happy here with him?” [...] “The clothes, the jewels, even the way you look. He’s all over you." [...] “Just admit it,” he sneered. “He owns you.”

Apparently, we're supposed to excuse his blatant slut-shaming and anger because....he's been on a perilous assignment where his friends died and he thought Alina was being tortured. But I fail to see how this makes any sense because if you thought the person you loved was in danger and you'd risked your life just to see them and then discover they are actually safe and sound....would you not be overjoyed and relieved? This whole time you thought they were suffering or in danger but it turns out they're completely safe and cared for!

It's especially telling that instead of asking about anything else, Mal seems particularly interested in Alina's relationship with the Darkling, and maps their relationship dynamic as "ownership" simply because Alina wears black. His vicious tone suggests to me that he's just salty he's not the one "owning" Alina.

The real reason Mal is pissed is because Alina is happy without him (and potentially with another love interest) and he can't stand that because he feels personally entitled to have her.

Later, he admits to ruminating about this moment like an unhinged stalker:

“Do you? That night at the palace when I saw you on that stage with him, you looked so happy. Like you belonged with him. I can’t get that picture out of my head.” “I was happy,” I admitted. “In that moment, I was happy. I’m not like you, Mal. I never really fit in the way that you did. I never really belonged anywhere.” “You belonged with me,” he said quietly.

This passage has always telegraphed Mal's sense of entitlement towards Alina. Prior to her getting whisked away to the Little Palace, Mal showed little romantic affection for Alina. But now that she's the fabled Sun Summoner, he comes off like he thinks he's more entitled to Alina than anyone else simply because they grew up together.

Alina even frankly tells him that she hasn't felt like she belonged with him for a long time. Instead of exploring why that might be, why they might have been on diverging paths, why Mal has made Alina feel like she is unworthy of his romantic feelings until now, Mal goes on what I assume is supposed to be a romantic speech:

"I’ve risked my life for you. I’ve walked half the length of Ravka for you, and I’d do it again and again and again just to be with you, just to starve with you and freeze with you and hear you complain about hard cheese every day. So don’t tell me we don’t belong together"

Again, this reeks of entitlement and manipulation. This is one of those lines that I see certain m*lina shippers using as proof of how "nice" Mal is but it honestly kind of scares me? He doesn't care about Alina's feelings or want to explore why she felt so distant from him. He's the one in charge and if he did X, Y, Z for Alina then he's entitled to have her and she's just going to have to accept that.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to see you, Alina. But I see you now.”

This specific line on its own doesn't necessarily have to be bad. We've certainly seen variations of this in other media. But combined with his sense of entitlement, how he treats Alina in the later books, and the fact that she needed to transform into a literal sunbeam for Mal to even consider her as a romantic prospect, it just makes me roll my eyes. Why should Alina be the one to look past Mal's obliviousness when he's barely given her the time of day and reacted so negatively at the mere suggestion that she might have found happiness with another man? Why should Alina just forgive Mal's jealousy when he has a reputation for sleeping around that Alina has kindly ignored even though it deeply hurt her?

I don't care if you danced naked on the roof of the Little Palace with him. I love you, Alina, even the part of you that loved him.”

This is supposed to be Mal's "apology" for his outburst at the Little Palace and I was on-board with it up until the last part. This is another line I see m*lina shippers pointing to as proof that Mal doesn't have a toxic madonna/whore complex and doesn't care about Alina's previous romantic interests. But the problem is that he treats Alina's previous affections for the Darkling as a moral stain on her character. It's a back-handed compliment that amounts to: "I don't care if you had sex with him because I'll still love you, even that stupid and slutty part of you that loved him"

He touched my cheek lightly, and when he spoke again, his voice was low and raw. “I never want to see you in black again.”

Again, this is meant to be romantic but it just makes me feel very uncomfortable. Mal is so hyperfixated on the Darkling "marking" Alina with a color. It would be one thing if Alina is also equally or more perturbed by the color, but she just isn't? Or at least she's not as obsessed with it as Mal appears to be.

#cw: emotional abuse #anti mal #viv metas

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cheekygreenty · 4 years ago

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Little Witch - Part 3

The Darkling x Reader

The next day you woke up with a full belly and a rested mind. Your body no longer ached as you took a well-deserved bath. The servants knocked on your door in the early morning, however, you refused them but not after taking the food they offered. You looked through the wardrobe, finding nothing to your liking, so you were forced to wear something you had taken with you to the little palace. It was still too simple- too plain for your taste. You managed to speak to a seamstress about some clothing, but upon her finding out you don't belong to a single Grisha order, she scurried off, afraid she was being made a fool. You sighed and settled down. you have no right to be mad, nobody knows who you are. It is as you intended it to be, and looks like Aleksander wanted it that way too. To the Grisha, your order, or lack-there-of, is a myth, a fantasy. Some even consider it as heresy, a betrayal to the order of Grisha and the Saints, a mistake and abomination.

The stigma always caused you to hold back on your potential, never fully pushing yourself to your limits. At one point, Aleksander was scared of you; of what you couldn't do yet. Every day you learned something new, but every day you lost the knowledge to do another thing. It was a vicious cycle. But one day you tried yourself, you felt euphoria. It was a feeling like none other. But with it came destruction and death. You couldn't control yourself. The cycle continued until you pushed yourself too much, power overtook your being, let you slip away for a brief moment. A moment that decided the next 98 years of your life.

You knew how to control yourself now. It took years and the touch of many others, but here you were, an Elemental. A Grisha with the power of all orders, you could do what the Etherialki could do with ease, you could manipulate metals and chemicals and could stop a heart at your will. The healing wasn't yet a skill you had yet.

You weren't born with these powers though. You have to acquire them in a certain way, 'take them' if you will. It's what gets your tale the bad rep. A touch is all it takes. A simple touch of the hand when a Grisha is practicing the small science. It doesn't hurt anybody, you always swore it didn't. But once you acquire a power, it doesn't mean you know how to control it. It gets out of hand, it's as if it has a mind of its own, like Aleksander's shadows, and that's what causes carnage. Sometimes you could still remember what it felt like to summon those glorious shadows.

With that thought, you quickly go back to real life. You were standing outside Aleksander's door. Did you have to knock? The oprichniki let you through immediately and didn't look in your eyes as you stood at the door. You let yourself in, forgoing your manners.

'Aleks-'

'Y/N'

'Oh um hi, I was just wondering if you could tell somebody to actually make me some keftas, they're all running away from m-'.

You noticed he wasn't alone. The heartrenderer from yesterday was standing at the end of the room with another one of his kind. A woman in a Squaller attire along with them.

'-Am I interrupting? I can come back later'

You said that but didn't move a muscle. Like hell you would leave a room that almost belonged to you all those years ago.

'That would be ideal' Aleksander looked at you, waiting.

'I changed my mind. I'll stay-'

'Y/N'

'-until you sort my keftas out. Saints what did I tell you about interrupting me. It's quite rude' You seen the girl's eyes widen.

'So is barging into a meeting unannounced'

'General Kirigan, please can you do something about my keftas before I run out of clothes and have to walk the halls of the Little Palace bare' You jest. You were itching to wear a kefta. It had been way too long. He flushed and his eyes flashed an emotion of... longing? You couldn't tell but you knew that did the trick.

'Ivan please escort Ms.Y/L/N to the seamstress quarters and tell them to do whatever she wants.'

Aleksander spoke calmly looking directly at you. So his name was Ivan? You could finally put a name to the face.

'No, I'd rather go with the other one' You whispered so only he could hear with side-eye. He looked at you with an amused grin.

'Nevermind, Fedyor you go' The brunette heartrenderer got up with a smile on his face. He looked kind.

'Ms.Y/L/N, follow me'

He hooked your hand onto his elbow and you contained your girlish giggle. It had been so long since you were treated with this respect. It made you giddy.

'I'll see you around, General.' You looked at him and then at your audience. Ivan looked mad, as he always did, the girl looked jealous. You wondered if she and Aleksander had a thing going on, you wouldn't be surprised. She was beautiful. Once out the door, Fedyor started speaking

'That was Zoya. Mean little thing. But an amazing soldier. I'm Fedyor if you didn't catch that. Ivan isn't all that bad when you get to know him. He's my boyfriend. I've never seen you around, are you new?'

You struggled to process the information as it came. After stuttering twice, you managed to get out a simple:

'Yes, I am new here.'

'You seem to know the General quite well, are you two friends?'

'Of sorts yes, old friends'

'It's nice to know he has friends, that man works so hard to keep us all safe I sometimes worry he has no downtime.' He sighs.

You look at him confused, was this man definitely his guard?

'I'm sure he manages on his own well enough' Some part of you still loved Aleksander, but over time you learned to recognize that the man loves working towards his plans more than anything or anyone.

Fedyor wouldn't stop talking about the Litlle Palace as you walked. Had you not known the place inside out and back to front, you would've been very impressed. Once you reached your destination. You threw ideas at the seamstresses. Fedyor stood by and looked perplexed at all the ideas and at one point, left. You requested keftas of all colors and styles, completely breaking the traditions of orders. You didn't care to explain why fearing that Aleksander didn't want people knowing of your kind just yet. You walked back to your chamber content with your day so far. You wanted to train once you got back, away from the prying eyes of other Grisha. You needed peace. You walked in and snuffed out the burning fire with a hand motion. The room was now silent, too quiet.

'Y/N'

You whipped your head around and found an angry Aleksander at your door, looking at the fireplace absent of the fire.

'We need to have a proper conversation where you tell me what in Saint's name you are doing here, back in my palace, I have entertained your little game enough.'

You kept silent much to his annoyance.

'Now.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part 4

@xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @cleverzonkwombatsludge

#the darkling x reader #the darkling #shadow and bone #netflix #aleksander morozova #kefta #grisha #shadow summoner #one shot #imagine #fanfic #series #general kirigan

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mrsbrekkers · 4 years ago

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Hi! I read your Jesper fic and it’s like my favorite that I’ve ever read honestly it was amazing! I was wondering if I could request a Jesper x reader where the reader is small and really sweet and he has a crush on her? And she like steals his clothes and he just gets rlly soft? Once again I love your writing have a great day/night and no rush!

hi there! we’ve talked over pm, but thank you again, those kind words mean the WORLD to me! i haven’t put my writing out there in a while, so this means a lot, thank you again :)

so i had a weird idea when i saw this when i woke up this morning. mind you, it’s been sitting in my requests for a few days, but i saw it and didn’t have a lot of ideas, but then inspiration struck me and brb i gotta cry over this. AHHHHHH

pairings! jesper x reader / kaz x inej ( being soulmates ) + nina x matthias ( also being soulmates ) + wylan van eck enjoying his pie

reader is again, gender neutral, but leans more female presented, BUT the pronouns they/their are used throughout

warnings! jesper and reader being the fluffest couple to walk the grishaverse, kaz endlessly shipping, kaz also pinning for inej, nina + kaz shipping reader and jesper, the crows in general shipping reader x jesper

word count; 3036 words

one-shot under cut!

this mood board was made by a friend and UGH IT TAKES IN THE FIC S O WELL!!! @r3tr0sp3ct !! thank you so much, SHFJD

5 WAYS TO TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER YOU LOVE THEM

Courtesy Of Jesper Fahey, to my Dearest Y/N

5: Tease Them About How Short They Are

It was no secret that Y/N was the shortest of the crows. A mere five foot three, compared to the other Crows? They were short. Shorter than Inej by an inch or two, and by a foot compared to Matthias. Yet, it made them dangerous: able to move from place to place almost as swiftly as Inej. They were able to look unintimidating, when in reality, they could kill you, your family, and your relatives. They were able to lie their way through almost anything: another factor of people underestimating them. They were dangerous, which is why they were a part of the Crows after all. An asset, a leader even. Kaz saw them as valuable.

That didn’t stop the endless amount of teasing from the Crows though. And who had started it? Jesper Fahey.

First joining the Crows had been an impulsive decision, but one that Y/N didn’t regret. A family came with joining, and they’d lost theirs a pretty good time ago. What also came with joining was the teasing. Another day at the Crow Club, and Y/N, still relatively new to the Barrel life, was watching as Jesper gambled. They’d never understand the payoff of such quizzical acts of dumbness, but they stood there behind Jesper, confused.

Finishing the hand, Jesper glanced back at Y/N, chuckling slightly. Y/N’s eyes shifted, their glare at Jesper meeting him right in the eyes. It almost caused him to back down from what he was about to say, but he simply smirked the usual Jesper smirk. Flirtatious and bubbly. His hand swiftly moved, pulling Y/N to stand directly in front of him, the hand on their waist causing them to become flustered.

“You’re shorter than Inej,” Jesper inquired.

“I am not-” but Y/N didn’t finish their sentence. They’d already known such, but now Jesper was pointing it out. “So what?”

“It means I get to deem a new nickname for you! Inej would never let me call her anything related to her height, she threatened me with her knives. Or Kaz would glare at me, which scares me to say the least,” Jesper smiled now. He was going to have to find his way into Y/N’s good graces to fully engage in said nickname. They seemed conflicted for a moment, a pout making its way to their face.

“Does that mean I get to deem a nickname for you based on how tall you are?” Y/N asked, raising an eyebrow. They already had one in mind, considering Jesper was only a mere inch shorter than Matthias, the nickname still fit him.

“Well, that depends, Shortcake, what is your nickname for me?”

“Big Bear,” Y/N responded, smiling.

“Hmm, I like it. Shortcake and Big Bear. A powerful duo,” Jesper said, chuckling.

And thus, the teasing of how short Y/N was began.

4; Tell Them How Sweet They Are

The teasing didn’t stop there. Of course it didn’t. Because while the nickname ‘Shortcake’ was coined by Jesper, everyone had chosen new nicknames for how short Y/N was. Matthias called them Bubbles. Nina called them Babycakes. Wylan called them Munchkin. Inej called them Mini-me. And even Kaz had found a nickname for them; Firecracker.

But for Jesper, he wanted to find other ways to tease, or to tell Y/N what they meant to him, and low and behold, chance struck him. Eating with the Crows at one of the bakeries in Ketterdam, Y/N sitting next to Nina, with Jesper on their other side. Matthias sat next to Nina, squished between her and Inej. Wylan sat on the edge of the booth, opposite of Jesper, with Kaz sitting in a chair at the head of the booth.

Jesper glanced over at Y/N every once in a while, who was enjoying their creampuffs, he watched a bit of the filling be left on their lips. letting out a small chuckle, he watched Y/N turn toward him. “Hm?” They murmured, tilting their head. Sometimes Jesper wondered what someone like Y/N was doing in the Barrel. How Kaz had even found someone so sweet and kind roaming the streets.

“You got something a little-” Jesper raised his hand, his thumb brushing the pastry filling from Y/N’s lips. “There,” and with that, he chuckled before eating the filling. Y/N’s eyes had followed his hand the entire way, becoming flustered just as they had in the Crow Club just a few nights ago.

“That was my leftovers for later, Big Bear,” Y/N glared, their tone though was playful. The entire table now stared at them. Nina had a knowing look on their face, Matthias just seemed confused. Inej had let out a small laugh, Kaz’s eyes shifting to Inej upon hearing the sound. And Wylan? He just took another bite of his pie, his attention unwavered.

“Shortcake, you’re really telling me you would’ve saved any amount of those creampuffs as leftovers? I doubt it, they’re your favorite,” Jesper observed, making Y/N huff and taking another bite of a creampuff.

“They’re sweet and warm, of course I wouldn’t leave a single one for leftovers,” Y/N deemed, crossing their arms as they went to grab their last creampuff, but Jesper beat them to it, biting into it.

“Hmm, they’re not as sweet as you,” Jesper said, kissing Y/N’s nose, making them go cross-eyed with a smile.

“Hey! That was MY last creampuff!” Y/N said, coming to their senses after they realized Jesper had taken their last one. Before they could go to grab it though, Jesper raised it above his head. Oh, it was on. Before too long, Y/N was chasing Jesper out of the bakery, leaving the other Crows a laughing mess as they watched Jesper run, yelling for Y/N to catch him.

“Those two are soulmates,” Nina said, a wide smile on her lips as she watched Y/N practically topple Jesper onto the concrete, grabbing what was left of their creampuff and biting into it. Her eyes then shifted to Matthias.

“Soulmates.” Matthias agreed, smiling.

3; Save Them From The Bad Guy

Y/N was smart, Jesper knew that. They could probably give Jesper and Kaz a run for their money if they would like to. They were small, agile, talented. They were everything in Jesper’s eyes and more. But that didn’t make them any less susceptible to being overwhelmed during a job. They weren’t Nina Zenik. They weren’t Grisha, meaning if the right spots were hit they could indeed be overtaken.

But with Jesper by their side, that potential went down exponentially. Because whether Y/N believed it or not, and they did, Jesper would protect them with his life. They would do so for one another without hesitation. Which as Kaz put it: ‘is a dangerous prospect.’ The two didn’t care though. Well, in certain ways they did, but where was the fun in giving Kaz the satisfaction of thinking he was somewhat right? Answer: There was none.

Having just grabbed the package they needed during the job, Y/N and Jesper were about to be home free when they were spotted by the cashier, who undoubtedly worked for Pekka Rollins. Going eye wide, the two stared at the cashier for some time, and before they could come up with a Kaz level idea, the two bolted from the shop, Y/N’s hand in Jesper’s.

“We’re not dying today, Shortcake!” Jesper laughed over the commotion, the adrenaline of the job running through him as they ran.

“Hopefully not, Big Bear!” Y/N yelled, letting go of Jesper’s hand and breaking off from him. They were bigger targets together. Slipping through the crowds, Y/N ran as quickly as their legs could carry them. But speed could only make up so much when men who seemed twice your size were chasing after you.

Y/N knew Ketterdam well, but not Inej well. Not Kaz well. So when they came face to face with a wall that was too big for them to climb before the men managed to catch up, they scowled. Where the hell is Inej when you need her?

Turning to face the men who showed up, Y/N showed their hands. “Went after the wrong one,” They remarked, smirking. The men didn’t seem to be having it though, and as they stalked towards Y/N, a voice was heard behind them.

“And to think you’re usually the one saving my ass!” And then the three men fell, one bullet lodged in each of the men’s heads. Y/N looked up, smiling as they saw Jesper.

“Got the package?” Y/N asked, Jesper showcasing the bag of whatever it was Kaz had deemed they needed.

“I do, but I also have the most important package.” Jesper stepped over the bodies and took Y/N’s hand again, a wide smile on his lips.

“And what package would that be?” Y/N knew what he was going to say, but they wanted to hear it outloud

“Why you, of course!” Jesper winked, kissing Y/N’s forehead before they were off to bring the package to Kaz.

2; Let Them Borrow Your Clothes

Another night at the Crow Club, but something was unusual. Jesper was used to having a stalking Y/N behind him wondering how poker worked. This time though, they didn’t seem to be found anywhere in the Crow Club. It almost made Jesper not want to play. What was the point of playing if you didn’t have your lucky charm? There was no reason in his mind, especially as he began to have a bad streak of luck. So, standing from the table, he went to the booth Inej sat at, Kaz across from her.

“Have you guys seen Y/N?” Jesper asked, earning him a small smirk from Kaz, who simply glanced at Inej. He’d seen the newest Crow go to Jesper’s room while he’d gone down the steps. Kaz had been tempted to ask what they were doing, but he already had a feeling about what they were doing.

“They’re at the Slat,” Kaz said, deciding to rat out Y/N.

Jesper raised a brow. Weird. “Have fun you two! Inej, make sure he doesn’t come up with some more heist plans while I’m gone,” he joked, earning an eye roll from Inej. Turning from the table, he made his way out of the Crow Club, walking to the Slat and up to Y/N’s room, which was right next to his. Granted, they were really just tiny spaces meant to serve for the necessities. So, when Jesper arrived at their floor, he stopped in his tracks.

“Shortcake?”

Y/N turned, cursing as they realized they’d been caught. Instead of being adorned in their usual black attire, Y/N wore one of Jesper’s jackets.

“Listen, it was right there, it looked warm, I just really really . . . why are you walking towards me like that?” Y/N asked, watching as Jesper stepped towards them. If only they could see into Jesper’s mind, but the look in his eyes said it all. He was completely, utterly in love with the person before him. Letting out a gentle laugh, he kissed the corner of Y/N’s lips, earning him wide eyes.

“It looks better on you, although a little big, it’s perfect, Shortcake” Jesper said, in turn, he received a giddy laugh.

“Why thank you Big Bear. It is really warm, I may have to steal it,” Y/N remarked, crossing their arms and posing in the jacket for Jesper.

“You can’t steal it if I give it to you.”

“Hey! No fair. We’re criminals. I shall steal Jesper Fahey’s coat!”

“Mhm, now come on. I think you should show off your new attire at the Crow Club,” Jesper said, taking Y/N’s hand, but instead, they moved to stand beside Jesper, moving his arm so it wrapped around their waist.

When they arrived at the Crow Club once more, Inej glanced at Kaz, who now looked over his plans he’d been drawing out, his eyes on Y/N and Jesper.

“You’re so in on them being soulmates aren’t you?” Inej asked.

“Hmm, I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dearest Inej,” Kaz spoke quietly, making sure only she could hear.

1; Telling Them You Love Them

Whatever Jesper was planning, Y/N had a feeling it involved something big. They’d never seen him as frantic as he currently was. Then again, Jesper was a pretty frantic person at times, but still this probably took the cake for the most frantic. He had flowers, candies, creampuffs, not that Y/N knew all of that.

He was receiving different ways to tell people that you love them, and now he had no idea which one to go with. Nina told him pastries. Inej told him to simply be outright with it. Matthias told him some weird Fjerdan way they would do it. Wylan had shrugged, he’d never really been in love before. He hadn’t even DARED to ask Kaz for obvious reasons.

That left him with his own way of doing it. He wasn’t sure if Y/N would like it. He knew she’d like the cream puffs. But the candies? The flowers? Were they that kind of romantic?

It also didn’t help that when he’d asked everyone, he’d at first told them that he had feelings for Y/N, and they’d all replied that they knew. That didn’t help his nerves, because did that mean Y/N knew? Or were they just as oblivious as he was?

The night seemed simple enough - until it wasn’t.

The flowers didn’t smell right to Jesper, so he threw them out. The candies, as Nina revealed, were Y/N’s least favorite. The only thing he still had by the beginning of the night were the creampuffs. But he wanted to do this right. He had to do this right.

Entering the bakery, Jesper spotted Y/N at one of the booths, eating creampuffs. Well, there goes the last thing he had to give them. Making his way to the table, Jesper watched as Y/N raised their head to look at him.

“Don’t tell me Kaz sent you to come and ruin my night with some heist plans, Big Bear,” Y/N said, biting into their cream puff, humming in delight.

“Nope, just me. . . . just me,” Jesper murmured the last bit.

“Just you huh?” Y/N asked, finishing their plate and throwing it out. They stood, thanking the baker before leaving the bakery. Jesper followed behind. His mind raced with ideas on how to do this right. Maybe this was the right way? Stopping in one of the alleys, Jesper sucked in a deep breath.

“I love you!” He called to Y/N, who stalled for a moment, eyes going wide just as they did when Jesper had kissed the corner of their mouth.

“You make me rethink everything I know. You waltzed into the Crows lives, but most importantly, you waltzed into mine. I love you,” Jesper watched Y/N, seeing them laugh a bit.

“Go on, Big Bear,” Y/N spoke, walking slowly towards the gushing Jesper.

“I love the way you let me joke about your height. I love the way you get creampuff filling all over your face, you actually still have some on your lips. I love the way you joke with me during jobs, even when they go terribly wrong,” Jesper chuckled now, his smile wide.

“I love when you wear my clothes. They’re big on you. My jackets almost reach the floor. My sweaters reach your thighs. I love when you stand behind me while I’m playing cards, wondering how the game works. Or why it’s helpful. I love when you sneak into my bed late at night and lie across from me even with the small space we have, acting as if I don’t know you’re there. I love the way you chase me for your last cream puff and tackle me into the ground. But most of all, I love you . . . you, gosh do i love you,” Jesper felt out of breath. He wanted to yell from the top of rooftops that he loved Y/N. The things he’d do for them were endless.

“You know what I love about you, Jesper Fahey?” Y/N asked, tilting their head as they stopped in front of the breathless boy.

“What?”

“Everything,” and then they were on their tippy toes, their lips barely meeting Jesper’s.

The taste of cream puff filling hit Jesper first, a familiarity he knew with Y/N. Home. His fingers delicately moved to hold the back of their neck, his eyes shutting as he fully leaned down to kiss them. The pounding in his chest could likely be heard throughout the entirety of Ketterdam. He could feel the concrete underneath him, and it felt like the only stabilizer he had to keep him grounded. For if not for the concrete beneath him, he would’ve thought he was dreaming. Floating, even. But the feeling of their skin under his fingers, their lips. Everything invaded his senses and he didn’t want it to stop. He didn’t want them to stop.

Y/N had dreamed of this moment. The way Jesper’s slightly chapped lips would feel against their own, how soft his skin would feel, how his hair would feel. How he’d feel. Time felt lost, the world around them dimming as they let themself be consumed by this feeling. Nothing had felt so right. No one else existed except them.

Becoming breathless, Jesper pulled from Y/N, his eyes fluttering open as he placed his forehead against theirs. Then he felt the soft feeling of rain beginning to fall. “Isn’t that cheesy,” he chuckled, making Y/N laugh and take his hand.

“Ready to run through the rain, Big Bear?” They whispered.

Jesper didn’t answer, and instead he turned, pulling Y/N with him towards the Slat, their laughs being heard for miles.

239 notes · View notes

nnightskiess · 4 years ago

Text

𝐳𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞

₊° - 𝐳𝐨𝐲𝐚 𝐧𝐚𝐳𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐤𝐲 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

₊° - 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: y/n isn't too keen on letting zoya go on her journey through the fold and arrives at the encampment late at night to ease her worries.

please do not copy, republish, translate or reproduce this imagine on wattpad or on other platforms. respect the author's work <3

when word got round in the little palace that a spot for a grisha healer in the second army opened up for the supply run through the fold, y/n wasted no time and offered to go. they had applauded her for her willingness and bravery, but all y/n could think about was seeing that one gorgeous sqauller again, who quite literally blew her away the moment they first met.

zoya nazyalensky's striking blue eyes had captivated y/n the moment they locked with hers and hadn't it been for the squaller looking away, y/n was sure she'd still be lost in them. y/n deemed zoya to be one of the prettiest girls in os olta and the little palace combined, but her beauty was not the only thing about her that had made y/n unable to get the girl out of her head.

zoya was a squaller, a grisha able to manipulate the wind and air, but zoya also possessed a big fire in her belly, one that was almost always quite present. it helped her to the top, but was also one of the qualities that had a tendency to make her intimidating or feared. y/n however, looked right through it and never stepped back whenever zoya would raise her voice or squint her eyes just long enough for other grisha to leave her alone. and exactly that had caught zoya's attention.

training was going terrible, the new squallers seemed to lack the confidence and passion that was needed for combat training. botkin had been so frustrated that he let some of the older grisha take the task and train them. y/n had watched from the sides as zoya visibly grew more annoyed at the youngsters and bit her lip when that same frustration finally caught up with her,

"enough! come back when you're worthy of wearing that kefta or don't show your face again!" she sent a large gush of air their way, making everyone's kefta's blow up in the wind before she turned around, letting out a quick breath through her nose.

y/n approached, a tiny smirk on her face. she'd waited to the sides to see how long it would take to crack the girl's patience. zoya wasn't a quitter, but her tough love seemed to worsen the children's performances even more.

zoya felt a presence behind her and turned around with a sneer as she sent another wave of wind behind her.

"i said-"

y/n was sent against the wall before she landed on the earth with a thud.

zoya tried to hide her initial surprise and gave the girl a once over, tilted her chin and crossed her arms, "what do you want?" she wasn't in the mood to apologize and kept her arms crossed, not even bothering to help the girl up.

y/n dusted her kefta off and tried to delay her reply, which she knew was frustrating zoya even more. y/n finally looked up, a cheeky smile on her face as she spoke,

"you could be sent away for that... we aren't allowed to use our powers here, did you forget?"

"look around- do you see anyone here?"

zoya was right- most boys and girls had silently left the training facility after zoya's outburst and botkin was probably downing a glass of kvas to drink away his frustrations of the day.

"because you scared them all away."

zoya put her nose up in disdain and turned back around- she didn't have time for this cocky know-it-all girl. she rolled her eyes as y/n followed her around the courtyard, getting slightly annoyed,

"i'm not sure if you have it in you, but maybe next time try and ease up on the tough love? be kind for a chance?"

"it's not what works best. do you think they'll be coddled when they're part of the second army? you healers are too sensitive. you should consider changing that or this world is going to eat you up."

"too sensitive?" y/n tried to hide the hurt in her voice and shook it off, "you don't know the injuries i've had to heal, the pain and gore i've seen. you should consider changing your mind on healers. without us, we'd be off way worse."

zoya had been annoyed at y/n's challenging rebuttal at first, but would later realise it wasn't out of lack of respect that y/n didn't seem to falter under her hard glares, it was because of the intrigue and adoration she held for her. if she backed down like all the others, she would never get a chance to break down zoya's walls.

eyerolls out of annoyance faded into playful eyerolls and zoya quickly realised that y/n would be one of those people her superiors had told her about all those years ago when she was first brought to the little palace. in order to not succumb to the stress of being a grisha, let alone one in the second army, one needs companions. companions you trust to have your back, companions to share your worries with and companions to help you see the light in difficult situations, even in the dark of the fold. and a loyal companion y/n became.

zoya was less hostile to the healer than she was to anyone else and people soon caught on. to not lose her air of intimidation, she tried to keep her soft smiles to a minimum and playfully pestered y/n whenever she could- even though no one but the two knew it was playful- only to get a joking sneer back in return, which never failed to crack the tiniest grin on the squaller's face.

"why do you look ready to leave?" y/n suddenly appeared in the doorway of zoya's suite. "planning to run away?" she joked but her worries grew as zoya didn't reply.

zoya didn't look up and instead continued to prepare her bag. y/n noticed that she was wearing the good luck charm she'd given the girl to wear whenever she had to go on a difficult or risky mission. a silent promise to both, if you will, to make sure whatever would happen would turn out alright. y/n's smile faltered,

"where are they sending you off to?"

"kribirsk, i'm going to help sail the skiff for a supply run to ketterdam."

"you're going through the fold?!" y/n took haste steps into the room and stopped right behind zoya, "why haven't i heard about this?! when are you supposed to cross it?!"

zoya let out a sigh and looked up, her hands placed on her hips, "stop it. i'll be fine," she went back to folding her clothes, "you know it's not my first time."

"no, but every time might as well be your last!"

y/n pulled at zoya's arm to make her stop, the squaller immediately glared at her. she hated when y/n became worried, it always intensified the worries she was already feeling herself, even if she would never tell anyone.

"i'll be fine, i promise."

"what happens there isn't really up to you... besides, i just don't like sitting here and waiting in agony for a word from you telling me you survived."

zoya finally gave in, she couldn't hold up her front any longer as she looked into y/n's worried eyes. she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her forehead before her hands dropped to her neck. she grabbed the talisman and held it up, "this'll protect me."

"zoya, it's not some-"

"no. it will. you said it would. i trust you. now, will you trust me? i'll be back before you know it." zoya softly stroked y/n's cheek with the back of her finger, something she did when the girl needed reassurance and comfort. "i'll come back, y/n."

the two women stared at each other for a long time, exchanging silent promises. but y/n's sudden movement caught zoya off guard, and before she could realise the girl had softly planted her lips against her own, y/n had already retreated.

"write to me."

zoya nodded absentmindedly, her head still stuck in the moment before.

"-and you better come back in one piece, nazyalensky."

zoya nodded again, this time less distracted, and she pulled y/n back when the girl made a move to walk out before planting a soft kiss on the girl's cheek.

"i will. or else you'll just have to patch me up again."

but zoya's nerves proved to be more difficult to contain now that y/n wasn't around, even if the girl had a tendency to sometimes make them worse with her worries. she knew she had promised to write, but what was she going to write down? how scared she really was? what would that do to calm y/n's nerves- both their nerves? not to mention that the confident squaller had felt insecure ever since their tiny kiss. was she supposed to write a different letter? was y/n expecting her to? or were they still just friends? or would it only upset y/n if she wrote to her like friends would?

so, zoya thought it was best to just not write at all, to spare both their feelings. but y/n, who had been waiting for a letter in the little palace, had gone mad after a few days. she hadn't received a letter noting zoya's arrival, neither had zoya written her one to tell her when the journey to west-ravka would take place. she felt awfully left in the dark, even if she knew the second army had arrived at the encampment through a general at the palace, she needed to hear it from zoya. or had she scared the squaller off? was the girl regretting their moment? had she lost zoya completely now, even as a friend? she needed to know.

the only worries she felt when the horses pulled the carriage over the roads to the encampment, were the worries about zoya, not about the voyage she was going to have to take through the darkness. after all, she'd have zoya by her side, who would undoubtedly try to protect her if needed, who could calm her down with just a look her way, just like how y/n would be there to heal and support if the situation asked for it.

y/n was assigned a tent with the other corporalki, but could care less about settling in for a good night's sleep. she needed to find zoya's tent first. she needed to see her at least once before setting foot on the ship the next morning.

the torches lit up the campsite and created eerie shadows on the surrounding tents, sometimes even forming into a shadow that looked way too similar to the volcra whose screams and cries filled the air now and then. y/n shook it off and walked along.

she finally heard zoya's familiar soft voice behind a tent's fabric to her left and a guy clad in the clothes of a tracker walked out a few seconds later. it slightly confused y/n, but she walked to the entrance of the now pitch black tent nonetheless.

"zoya?" she whispered out softly, still a bit unsure if she'd actually been right about hearing the girl's voice. what if this was someone else's tent?

"anyone here?" she called again, her eyes now slightly adjusting to the lack of light. a shadow moved to her left before she fell to her knees as all the air in her lungs disappeared. someone had her in a headlock.

"zoya! it's me! it's me, y/n!" she coughed and heaved, clawing at her throat for air. she heard the squaller gasp as fresh air filled her lungs once again. a candle was lit a second after, which barely illuminated the tent, but enough for zoya to see her friend on the floor.

"what are you doing here?!" she hissed, her panic replaced by anger almost instantly, anger that stemmed out of worry for the girl. y/n being there could only mean one thing...

"i had to see you." y/n accepted the help of zoya and was put to sit on the girl's bed. "you promised you'd write... why didn't you?"

zoya ignored the question and fired a question of her own the healer's way, "why are you here? i doubt they let you go without a reason."

y/n refused to make eye contact, but zoya refused to give in and forcefully grabbed the girl's chin. y/n expected to see the squaller's eyebrows knitted together in anger or worry, or both, and a sneer on her face, but was instead met with a look she couldn't quite place, one she barely ever saw. if y/n wanted an answer, she would have to answer zoya first.

"they needed a healer."

"on the supply run?"

y/n nodded meekly but kept looking at zoya's features, trying to decipher what she was thinking.

"y/n, you shouldn't have... not after-"

"i know. i know i had to watch my friends get torn apart last time, while i sat there and couldn't help all of them at once, i know- but zoya- if something were to happen to you and i wouldn't be able to at least try and help you out, i would never be able to let it go."

zoya's grasp on y/n's chin loosened until she finally let go and dropped her hands on her lap. but they didn't feel right there so she immediately grabbed onto one of y/n's, giving it a light squeeze.

"you didn't write to me. that usually means you're either worried and don't want to worry me or... well... after, you know... i thought you might've..."

zoya squeezed again, telling the girl she didn't need to talk further, she knew exactly what she meant.

"i know something has shifted between us, but i don't regret it. that wasn't why i didn't write...well, it was." she continued when y/n rose an eyebrow in confusion, "i was afraid you might've regretted it."

"no, i-"

"it doesn't matter, you shouldn't have come." zoya's walls were back up again in a snap of her fingers and she let go and sat up, immediately shielding herself from whatever rejection about to come her way.

"zoya-"

"it's probably best if we both get some rest."

y/n looked to see if zoya was slightly joking but pursed her lips together when she saw the girl's blank face.

"fine." the healer jumped up and stormed out of the tent, throwing the entrance drape shut so harshly that the tiny candle went out, which left zoya by herself in the dark of the night. at least it would let her get used to the dark that was waiting for her on the end of the encampment.

y/n buttoned and unbuttoned her crimson kefta multiple times, a nervous habit of hers, but kept them buttoned when the horn indicated it was time to go. had it been worth it? offering to cross the fold just to talk to zoya? only for her to get the cold shoulder? no. but at least now she was able to protect the girl.

she walked onto the sandskiff along with other grisha and, this time, cartographers, and immediately locked eyes with zoya, who was already stationed at the front. zoya looked regal, standing there, with her chin held high and her hands behind her back, almost as if she owned the sandskiff. to others, she might've looked cocky, but not to y/n.

zoya's eyes inspected everyone who walked onto the ship and thus also landed on y/n's. but, while she'd lightly glared at everyone, her glare softened when she looked at her friend. she dipped her head in acknowledgement. what y/n didn't know, was that while zoya had tried her best to pretend that y/n wouldn't be going on the supply run, seeing her step onto the skiff had broken that fairytale thought and had made her slightly break out an uneasy sweat. y/n's talisman was hidden under her kefta, but zoya could still feel it pressing against her chest. it calmed her down a little, but not enough, certainly not when the ship started moving and y/n was not on the docks staying behind.

screeches and yells of those terrible beasts were the first things to welcome them into the fold before the clear morning sky finally turned black and the air turned cold. the volcra sounded distant though, so as long as they kept quiet and in the dark, there wouldn't be a reason to panic.

zoya glanced y/n's way every now and then. even if there still wasn't trouble in the air, she just needed to reassure herself that the girl was okay. same for y/n- she kept glancing to the front of the skiff to see zoya's eyes illuminate in the blue of the tiny lantern. zoya's eyes never failed to calm her down, but looking into them now brought her even greater comfort. or discomfort...if she thought long enough about what happened last time she crossed the fold.

the wind howled, the wooden skiff creaked and thunder filled the sky. the occasional lightning lit up their surroundings and showed the shipwrecks from previous supply runs, a great reminder to everyone on board that they should count themselves lucky if they survived this crossing.

"marker one...."

"how many more are there?" a cartographer girl dared to ask and y/n closed her eyes, knowing the answer wouldn't satisfy her.

"thirty-seven."

y/n's hands clasped around the sleeves of her kefta as she hugged herself. only twelve more markers and she'd reach the place where it all happened last time.

barely one marker later and the growling and screeching sounds of the approaching volcra made everyone tense up. one volcra made a close appearance, which made everyone either duck or ready their guns. it was eerily silent after that. y/n tried not to look at the frightened faces of everyone else and instead tried to count, but that proved to make her even more nervous after another volcra screeched nearby- they weren't going fast enough.

zoya felt suffocated when the blue lantern, which was meant to be their little safe haven during their crossing, dimmed. however, the real panic set in when it became pitch black and she lost all sight of y/n. the deck suddenly lit up by the orange hue of a lantern one cartographer boy had set alight in panic, which illuminated y/n's pretty face with an orange tint, but zoya was anything but relieved. this wasn't a good thing. at all.

"blow it out! what are you doing?!"

all hell broke loose when the lantern attracted volcra, who were now surrounding the sandskiff, flying over it to wait for the perfect opportunity to catch their prey. if that wasn't bad enough, the lantern had fallen over and a small fire was starting to eat away at the wooden deck, making it even harder for everyone on board to hide. people were being picked up by the creatures and all y/n seemed to be able to do was freeze. last time she'd been running from left to right to try and help aid the people on board, but even when she had prepared herself for this outcome this time, no muscle in her body seemed to want to move. she didn't know what hurt her ears more- the gunshots, the screeching of those terrible monsters or the agonizing yells from the people on deck. one thing stood out through those yells- a pained yelp coming from no other than zoya made her head shoot up to where she thought she'd heard it.

zoya had watched y/n tense up from her side of the ship and was well aware that past memories were probably troubling her mind, making her unable to get to work. all worries or insecurities were thrown out the window once she realised she needed to keep y/n safe. a volcra had dived to pick her up right as she made a move to run to the healer, but a shove from one of the other grisha had saved her life. her shoulder broke the fall and one of her hands met the flames, making her cry out in pain.

this did the trick and burst the healer's bubble. y/n crawled across the deck, trying to stay as low as possible, and gritted her teeth whenever she came too close to the fire and the heat became painful. zoya noticed her approach and tried to move closer too, only to grasp her shoulder in pain.

"ssssh, i'm here, i'm here, let me-" y/n stammered in a panic as she looked at the damage. she gently stroke her fingers over zoya's burns first. zoya threw her head back at the initial pain and incredibly annoying itch that followed, but let out a shaky chuckle out of relief when the pain subdued before eventually fading away.

they weren't out of danger yet and the volcra hovering above them proved exactly why. zoya's eyes widened as she watched it approach over y/n's shoulder and she pulled the girl on top of her in a tight embrace. the movement made her grit her teeth in pain, her shoulder still hurt like hell, but at least the volcra had missed this chance. she saw it circle around, waiting to pounce once more. she reached for the gun beside her when it turned around, ready for another try. but zoya didn't give it one and directed a shot at its chest, which caught the beast off guard and gave the perfect opportunity to one of the escorts on the ship to finish him off with another shot.

"are you alri-"

"go! get inside!" zoya gently pushed the girl off of her again.

"you're hurt, let me-"

"i need to help send this skiff back. go!"

"it'll only be-"

"we don't have time! i can handle a broken shoulder but i will never forgive myself if something happened to you!" zoya yelled back over the chaos and was supported by another squaller who pulled her to the other side of the deck. y/n sat there, baffled. a harsh force of wind made y/n's hair blow up and the ship started to move again. a young man, one of their escorts, ran up to her, pulled her on her feet and guided her inside.

there she sat, waiting, while a mix of screams, screeches, thunder and gunshots made for a horrifying mix of sounds, while she couldn't do a thing, while zoya was bait up there...

a light so bright beamed through the cracks and holes of the wood and even from her cover, y/n had to shield her eyes.

silence. complete, utter silence. no more volcra, no more shouting or gunshots needed. the wind that the squallers created to send them back home was a comforting sound to y/n's ears and it was all she wanted to focus on as she knew they were going back.

the darkness soon turned to light again. the sky had changed back and was filled with puffy clouds as the air grew more pleasant to inhale. they were back, they were safe. but still, y/n kept seated, not wanting to go out and see the damage. not again.

yes, the sandskiff had returned home, which meant that squallers had sent it back, but zoya had been out there for a while even before the light. going out there meant there was a possibility she was going to receive the news that zoya hadn't made it.

"i need a healer here! quick!"

y/n wiped her teary eyes that were still burning from the smoke, pushed the stray hairs out of her face and stood up. she was not going to let people suffer just because she was afraid of facing her fears. she let herself fall onto her knees next to a cartographer girl whose leg still sizzled from a terrible burn. she seemed pretty out of it- her head lulled as a cold sweat coated her face.

"hey, you're going to be alright. i'm y/n, i'm a healer." she tried to reassure her, even if she was unsure if the girl could even hear her at this point, "i'm going to have to touch it, but it's going to get better after that. i promise. try to sit as still as you can so it won't scar." she went to work and saw the girl's eyes flutter open. "see?" the girl nodded and sent a tired smile her way. that was enough of a thank you for y/n and she immediately stood up to try and see where she was needed next.

zoya had climbed her way down as soon as she could and panic filled her when she couldn't find y/n anywhere. this was where she'd seen the boy take her to?! but as she walked back, she saw the girl tending to a wounded man and a sigh of relief left her mouth. she watched y/n stand up,

"can you tend to my shoulder next?"

y/n's head whipped around at the familiar voice, and even if it sounded hoarse and tired, she could still hear a playful undertone.

"thank the saints! you're alright!" y/n went in for a hug but reminded herself of zoya's injured shoulder and squeezed the girl's hand instead.

"who else sent us back?" zoya smiled tiredly and let y/n pull her out off the chaos on the ship to be sat down on the docks. the healer helped her out of her kefta and zoya noticed y/n was trying to suppress a meek smile at the sight of the talisman that clung around zoya's neck.

zoya closed her eyes as y/n's soft hands made contact with her bare shoulder and she only dared to open them again once the pain was replaced by the familiar feeling of a healing itch. she grabbed the healer's hand and intertwined their fingers.

"are you still hurting?"

zoya let out a breathy chuckle and shook her head, "no, i believe i'm fine now. just a bit shaken."

y/n nodded and stared off into the distance, she knew exactly what zoya meant. a soft tug on her hand made her look back at the blue eyed girl.

"i'm sorry."

"zoya nazyalensky saying sorry? that's a first."

"hush you, i'm serious. don't make me regret this." zoya rolled her eyes, glad to have this y/n back. for a second, back in the fold, when she saw y/n so tensed up as she was reliving her trauma, zoya was afraid she might never get her back, if they were to even get out of the fold alive. but here she was, holding the girl's hand and staring into her eyes. she was here. with her.

"it was wrong of me to downplay your worries when i knew where they stemmed from. you've had to go through that, see that happen... and it was only fair of you to fear my departure. i should've written to you and-"

"zoya, it's quite-"

"let me finish." a light squeeze in her hand and a somewhat serious glare from zoya made y/n shut up, "i also shouldn't have treated you like i did last night. but can you try to imagine the worry i felt when i realised you were going to do the crossing? if something happened to you, that would've been because of me. you were on that ship because i was there, because i didn't write back."

"i would've taken the offer even if you had written to me, to be quite honest..."

zoya rolled her eyes, "of course you would've."

"zoya, when will you understand that i'll always try to have your back?

"but why must you put yourself in harm's way to do so?"

"because that's just how it goes!" y/n squeezed zoya's hand this time, trying to get her message across. "we're companions remember?"

zoya smiled softly and put a strand of hair behind y/n's ear before she wiped away the dirt on the girl's temple. her fingers then travelled down the girl's cheek and jaw before resting there, "i think we're more than companions, don't you think?" her striking blue eyes then looked directly into y/n's, immediately captivating the girl like she was some siren trying to lure her into the pools of her eyes.

"are we?" y/n's voice was small.

"have you forgotten about kissing me already? should you need a reminder?"

"no- i haven't, i remember!" her cheeks turned scarlet as zoya tilted her head in a playful manner. oh gods, how stupid could she be. "i mean, i don't. a reminder would be nice?" the meekness of y/n's voice warmed zoya up and she stroked the girl's bottom lip with the pad of her thumb,

"you sure?"

y/n nodded, but that wasn't what would satisfy zoya.

"talk. use your voice."

"yes, i'm sure."

zoya lifted her chin and looked at her in a way only she could, but it wasn't disrespectful at all. she looked at y/n as if she was the only girl in the world, but even if she wasn't, she'd still pick her. she'd pick her as a friend, a companion, or whatever they were going to be next.

#zoya imagine #zoya x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky imagine #zoya one shot #shadow and bone imagines #sab imagines #sab x reader #grishaverse imagines #s&b x reader #s&b imagines

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