#if you wanna call someone call the fucking paramedics

[angelnumber27]

Don’t fucking call the cops on people in mental crises.

[barnacles34]

Mr. Rager, Can I Tag Along?

Part I

Synopsis: Mr. Rager finally joins the birds in the skies. Dedicated to the song Mr. Rager by Kid Cudi.

tags: 8k, smut, so much romance, fluff, addiction, recovery, virgin Ryujin

Ryujin x Male OC

CHAPTER I: 

You might hear the birds singing flying around,

You never see them too long on the ground,

You wanna be one of them, yeah.

Cocaine toxicity. Solipsism finally vindicated. He was going to die—truly. That cloudy feeling of mind and body separation, as if the ribbons of heaven had finally let him grasp their reins, swaying him toward some version of forever happiness.

Mmmm.

He thought he’d care about dying right there in the nightclub. The shame of weakness, of collapsing with foam at the corners of his mouth—he’d truly thought he’d care more about it. But now, one worry gone, he was worriless. Life had its charm, but it wasn’t for him; he’d been walking on sticks until the very end. Now, the floor felt so right. His body sank into it, slipping slowly, as if turning to slime and merging back into the earth.

Each second, his grip over his fingers weakened, a constant slackening with every passing moment. His eyelids grew heavy, and the outline of the nightclub around him blurred. He couldn’t control his fingers anymore; he was truly sinking. When would heaven begin? When would this fantasy end? Mind-death, a complete and utter submission to the lifeless realm - he’d never recover.

The faint tingling of powder lingered at the rim of his nostrils. At least, he’d had a good high - a nice ecstasy haze along the fine columbian - before dying. Finally, his eyes closed, nerves shutting down, and he felt free, unchained from his body like a ghost.

"Stay with me!" A voice, deep and feminine.

Hm?

"Don’t close your eyes!" Again, that voice.

What?

Whatever. It was too late anyway.

"How many fingers am I holding up!?" Still images flashed through his fading consciousness, fingers held up just before his face, barely visible, though he couldn’t tell how many anyway.

"What’s your name?" He couldn't place a face on the voice, but it was distinctly feminine - separate from his inner voices.

They were trying so hard. If they’d responded any faster, he might’ve been forced to go back - to life.

Go back…

Did he want to go back?

Hell.

Mr. Rager - that’d be a good name, he thought. If he were reborn, given another chance, that’s who he’d be.

"Mr. Rager!"

What? Could the paramedic hear him?

"Mr. Rager! Come back! Fight back! Don’t go off on an adventure!"

—

Flash. Eyes open. He was alive - he was… alive.

"Mr. Rager. You’re okay; don’t make any sudden movements." A soft, padded palm rubbed his forehead with a gentle, compassionate touch. He looked up. A young woman, petite yet strikingly beautiful, looked back at him.

"What’s your name?" he asked, despite himself. Still a bachelor, after all. "My name is Ryujin." She was dressed in a way he couldn’t quite place, something different from what he expected. "I’m part-time, by the way," she said, noticing his confused look. "That’s why my clothes are different." He rubbed his forehead; it was pounding, but with a distant sort of ache, incongruous with a proper headache. “What the hell happened?” he asked, properly confused. “You went into shock, someone already administered naloxone to your body, thankfully; otherwise, you would’ve-” she abruptly bit her tongue, preventing herself from talking about a potentially sensitive topic that Mr. Rager was subjected to.

“And, by the way, this was my first call ever.” A subtle transition, a conversation starter.

He blinks, trying to relieve the soreness in his eyes, “God, I’m sorry, this is such a fucking shitty situation.” And the way he said it, that emotional self-deprecation.

She might’ve realized something, “Were you trying to commit suicide?” She asked, very bluntly.

“It’s none of your business. Thank you for the hospitality, I’ll be taking my leave now.” When he tried to take the IV fastened to his vein, Ryujin softly, with the firmest grip and tone, said, “You’re going nowhere.”

All Mr. Rager could think of were cuss words, cusses against the world, against destiny to be alive for the foreseeable future. 

A resolve to suicide is the moment the mind, at the cusp of mind-death, truly enters a dead mind. The inescapable rock-bottom, a self-fulfilling prophecy where one feels truly and utterly fastened to the floor - inhibited of all its freedoms, its happiness.

–

Mr. Rager, or better known as Min amongst his peers - not friends. At the hands of his peers, Mr. Rager sustained a traumatic head injury that tormented him with chronic migraines right from the start of it all - the drunk brawl, that he decisively lost in, at just the age of 17. 

See, Mr. Rager had not a single family member except his aunt who embezzled all the funds Rager’s parents left for him. And the last time he tried to talk with his aunt was when he sustained a knife wound on his forearm from her - a deeply tormented individual, she was locked in a home-made cage for most of her adolescence.

And, unfortunately, there’s not a single time where his life is measurably better than the year before - only getting worse until the overdose.

–

Ryujin didn’t inquire further, she was hoping somewhat that her presence might help Mr. Rager. She sat next to Mr. Rager, her hand still on the side of the hospital bed, feeling its soft fabric. Mr. Rager, still irritated, asked, “Why are you still here?”

“Cause I want to be here.” A joking undertone, perfectly acted out. In truth, Ryujin pitied him so much, her first patient, a successful businessman who tried to kill himself at the age of 29 - now that’s fucking rare, usually the cases accelerate at the age  of 50 or so.

“Why’d you take this job?” 

She replied, “Artistic inspiration.”

“Hm, fantastic idea by the way.” He was sincere about it.

“Thanks.”

“Do you have enough material now?”

“Oh. Plenty. Plenty enough.” She giggled.

“What if I don’t consent to my likeness being represented in your art - medium, whatever?”

“Mr. Rager, don’t you worry, I’ll refurbish it so much that it'll be closer to the likeness of… let’s say… me.”

“Quit the teasing,” he stated, straight to the point.

“I don’t want to.” She replied back, he was one of the few people where teasing seemed to genuinely improve their immediate well-being, and for someone like Mr. Rager - it’s huge. And, he was finally laying, no longer trying to plan an escape, on the flatbed, staring at the ceiling, observing the music player. “By the way, is this music player provided to everyone recovering?” He’s not one to mix words.

“You’re pretty smart.” She replies, a confirmation, fiddling with her torn skirt, presumably from rushing into her para-medic role.

“That’s what I owe you for?”

“Mhm.” Still fiddling, a pouty sort of face formed on her face, it was her favorite skirt.

“How do you want the debt paid?” He inquired, he’s one to never ignore the nascent attachment to his favorite items - thus, he understands: the exorbitant value placed on favoritisms. “I dunno. You’ll still owe me. Big Time.” She stared back, this time, their eyes entwined with a sort of friendliness that is almost, just almost, ethically wrong in hospital circumstances.

“Very well then.” His tired eyes kept pulling on his eyelids. Genuine sleep had seemed to completely take over his body, and yeah, that’s all the meds he’s under: naloxone, antibiotics, withdrawal medicine, and a lovely dose of morphine. “I feel new.” His voice was dozing as his intra-reflection began. As he nodded off, he felt the faint grasp of her hand, so small, yet filled with so much conviction. He’s tripping balls, but she’ll never tell him - presence was what was required of her.

And that was all the validation he needed: for sleep.

As Mr. Rager finally slept; Ryujin stayed for a bit, or about 4 hours. And, still, she’s sitting beside him - making sure that he sleeps and recovers. Just from the chance encounter of a paramedic call, she felt the compulsion to guard Mr. Rager. Poor girl, if she’d seen a dead body for her first call then she’d vomit a week’s worth onto the ground. 

After another hour, Ryujin finally decided it was time to leave. She wrote a thoughtful letter, of things that needn’t be said - obviously. But she also left a partition, finagling a creative way to demand what she’s owed. After, she let her boss know that she quit on the spot, that she’d also come back to the same room - a reservation of some sort. She left, leaving the stale, minty air of the hospital with a melancholy that wouldn’t be fixed until she saw him again. Because, when she was writing the note, she wished she asked more questions - Mr. Rager just seemed to lead on the conversation to a charming degree, that other circumstances were of lesser importance. 

Ryujin, outside, breathing in the fresh air of the summer, caught the last bus of the route. This route, passing by the road that she was taken on inside the paramedic van, also led to her apartment. Unfortunately, it’s an old, decrepit apartment where only the rudest sort of parties happen. Half the time, the floor above is vibrating thump, thump, thump from the heavy jumps, or the lower floor blasts some of the most needlessly, eardrum-breaking music.

At least she has solitude. Finally free from the dictates of those she didn’t get along with, finally separated from her friends who’d get too boring if she hung along for too long. Now, her family is charming - easy to get along with; now, her friends are always interesting - fascinating to be around. Distance is a marinating technique, or whatever.

Ryujin, the charming shut-in, finally arrived at her place, and began on her art piece. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to list that’s positive about her obsession with art. It’s the time where she vents her frustrations of being a failed trainee - rather, a placement that was restricted from becoming an idol; wallows in the misery of the color tone she loves the most: dark; and, to top it off, she gets bored of visual arts when she tries to make money off of it. Some dastardly sign from the man above, “Your hobby will stay a hobby.”

All that displeasure would be the paint upon the canvas: checkmate, mental turmoil turns to art, she thought. Swipe and swipe, the dirty colored watercolor painting had nearly no form worth thinking - almost entirely brown from the intermixing of the wet, damp color. Then the second layer, an apparition of segmentation, a deeper color, colors that entice and bite back. Then the specificity of the lines, things left unspecified were on purpose. But, this recurring thought, this pounding idea, that she left a man that fell in the depths of the void alone - really began digging into her soul. This thought unto Ad Nauseam brought her nausea that really can’t be eliminated with the will of her conscience. “I should’ve stayed, I should’ve stayed” - the recurrent thoughts that never seemed to leave her. With a sad howl, she fell to the side, crying deep, ruining all her pretty into the sheets - a room so small that her chair was the bed.

–

“I’m still alive”, Mr. Rager repeated this to himself over and over after waking up - not sure whether to feel some sort of rendered triumph. For a moment, he was truly tip-toed in the void, almost encased into the endless hope, of unrendered reality and a horrible sadness; now, he’s alive, breathing, with a full control of his body.

Nothing had caught his attention, the environment, whether there were people around him or not, only life as he knew it - coursing through his veins. The feeble thumps of his chest - his heart, still persevering.

–

Several days of this sort of morning locomotion went on, it was also the time that Ryujin came over. Poor girl brought over new confectionaries - mostly of her favorites; brought lunch boxes she herself fully funded; found ways to amuse herself and Mr. Rager during the listless hours.

“What’s the interest rate of this debt? Surely, a person like me, fastened to the bed with belts (a pure exaggeration), wouldn’t be extorted with dubious rates?”

“Mr. Rager, you’ll have to declare bankruptcy by the end of it, seriously. You owe me. Big time.” She joked back, of course, she didn’t really expect much. By her own goodwill, Ryujin was looking after Mr. Rager, an exchange of her goodwill would almost sour all her community service - again, a flash of her trait, a blithely weak trait in modern society, a subtle revulsion to being paid for her services.

Mr. Rager, however, was the opposite. Rogue-man, Rager man, Mr. Rager, a name that fits him so closely, from the early onset of consciousness, an unruly rebelliousness coursing through his veins at all times, with flourish - with the crimonest red. He’s done it all, disowning his billionaire politician parents, who still relish the thought of meeting Mr. Rager one day; losing all his wealth, gaining it back the next; then, enjoying it all on a single roulette wheel, then forgiving the casino when they couldn’t pay his winnings; and then dying for a few seconds, under the angelic influence of the so-called hellish “nose candy”. But for his closure, his preference—he’s pastless, futureless.

That’s the dilemma, Ryujin hadn’t learned a single thing about Mr. Rager that was worth pulling a strand on. Contradictory statements only confounded her further, and a reply to her joke - of bankruptcy and debt - he’d say, “I’d have to find it buried somewhere.” And she’d think, “What? What the hell? What’s buried? What’s ‘it’ ?”

Often the thought was interrupted, never fully leaving its conception—Mr. Rager wanted to keep it that way. Ryujin, often on her phone, never leaving her eyes off Mr. Rager, spent her delicate hours in the breezy, spacious hospital room.

Mr. Rager, of course alarmed, would ask - every day - “why do you visit so often?”

Then, Ryujin, really not knowing an answer, would default to a bland answer of so and so - real political talk. This procession, of nothing happening, stretching on for days was repetitive. It also made them happy. She’d put on her makeup, with her artsy hands - quick and fast. The rapidity with which she approached this situation, so contrary to all the aspects of her life - seemingly, Mr. Rager had brought vitality to Ryujin.

And in comes the day of withdrawal, the hospital withdrawal - where Ryujin and Mr. Rager resided comfortably. The door clicked softly as the nurse entered; simultaneously, Ryujin and Mr. Rager’s hairs stood up - what are they alarmed for? It was not, the nurse, no, absolutely not, the nurse was jovial, happy, thinking that she was delivering happy news.

She didn’t know that both of them found their only sources of joy inside this hospital. The nurse thought that she was relieving them of a most ludicrous bill, by ending it as soon as possible - as this hospital in particular, charges in hours, yeah, real dystopian shit. And so, it was a surprise when both the people had an almost disdainful stare towards her - it’s just my imagination, the nurse thought.

–

“Are you sure? You know overdraft schedules cost significantly more?” The nurse asked, confused, concerned.

“Yeah, yeah, I just want to stay here for one more day.” Mr. Rager replied.

“But, but - do you have any ailment? That’ll bring down the price.” 

“None at all, I just want to stay here for another day more.”

Rich people are nuts, the nurse, still, complied, letting him stay, leaving him for another day.

–

As the day progressed, Ryujin came back, again, in the evening. “Your schedule, how do you do that?” Mr. Rager was genuinely impressed with how Ryujin utilized her time, imagine his surprise when she just says, “I just skipped some stuff.”

“Alright, well, thanks for coming.” And that got Ryujin thinking, was this his first time thanking me? Which, in fact, did make her day. And, she wouldn’t dare challenge this once in a lifetime behavior - that’d be a quick way for that behavior to be stashed away, forever. Again, as soon as she entered, the atmosphere changed. 

It’s about damn time they understand the euphoric peacefulness they rouse for each other. And, today was one of the moments where Mr. Rager gives a slight glimpse of his life - the confounding ones that really led to nowhere. “I think my aversion to alcohol comes from the fact that I had kids with this chick, married this chick, bought a mansion for us to live in - and, only too late, realized that it was really the alcohol that talked.”

Ryujin’s heart sank, “what? You have kids?”

“Not anymore, don’t have custody over them anymore.” He was so unbothered, utterly unbothered.

“I’m sorry for asking, just curious—what happened to them?”

He chuckled, “No more personal questions after this, alright?”

She nodded, her beady eyes on full alert. The pillow that she borrowed from the hospital bed, on her lap. She was intently listening from the comfortable armchair. 

“I let her take the kids, she didn’t ask for alimony or anything like that—just that, on the condition that I don’t contact them ever again.” He stared at the ceiling, sorting some of it out, not sure if it was some traumatic experience. Nevertheless, he continued, “she found me unbearable after a while, and I found her unbearable as well. I was never there too: too busy with money. She probably didn’t chase after alimony because she already had a sweetheart - with money - to get back to.” With so much ease, as if he’d been through too many lifetimes - too many he can remember.

“Oh,” that’s it, that’s all the reaction she can give.

“Oh, what’s with that reaction?” He chuckled.

“I-I’msorryIdon’treallyknow-” she paused, “Hey! You’re being so annoying today.”

“Sometimes, a flipped script - like teaser gets teased - leads to masterpieces.”

“Any examples?”

“Nah, I just made it up.”

From then on, the conversations continued; the deep introspective pauses continued, listlessly; and both began to feel the drowsy effect of the combination of warm light and black-out curtains.

And a tired Mr. Rager loves beauty. 

“Ryujin.”

“Hm?” She looked back, staring at him with her doe eyes.

“You’re like marijuana.” One can say he has a way with words.

“What?” Her brows stitched in confusion.

“You’re fucking amazing to have around. But, I swore to never, nev-” He fell into a deep sleep, so contrary to his habits: he’s never fallen asleep with his own mind’s permission.

Her doe-like eyes opened farther open. Her heart began beating listlessly, skipping beats. I’ve got to leave, before I-. Yet she magneted closer to the bed, where Mr. Rager slept so peacefully. Did I do that? He’s always complaining about sleeping, yet- yet he slept so easily. She was making up all sorts of situations, scenarios, theories - none of them healthy for the mind.

And, before she knew it, under the bright moonlight radiating into the room, gentle shadows across his face, she leaned closer, letting her soft lips touch the peak of his cheekbone, causing shivers across her spine, and she thought fuck, fuck, I’m really doing it - and when that wasn’t enough - then his forehead, feeling the warmth radiating from his forehead on her lips. But no more, that’d be too much, too much.

Under her own shame, her bright flush cheeks, her dilated pupils, twin pools of dark moons: she quickly left the room, carrying all her stuff such that it’d be guaranteed to fall in the middle of the hallway, a real mess she made of herself.

CHAPTER II: 

Keep movin' forward, keep movin' forward

I'm so-I'm so reborn, I'm movin' forward

Along the way home, the realization washed over her like a molotov flame - its gentle but fiery shimmer covering the entirety of her body. And the way her heart pumped, any performative act she could do to stop it was useless - ultimately doing nothing, nada, zilch. The sound of his roaring laughter from her jokes, the curve of his smile, the messy stubble, god, she was really losing it inside the bus. Her every thought, motion, every constriction of her body - pulse and all - was consumed by him. Her legs rubbed together desperately, and the slightest, faintest moan left her quivering lips as she let her imagination go wild. 

And the fact that… that an elderly lady was behind her, judging her provocative movements, just nudged her on further - full on deviant shit.

As soon as she’d be home, she’d have a towel under her.

–

Fortunately, past the hospital departure, they wanted to see each other again - platonically. However, it’s been days, and though that may seem quite short, they’ve never been separated for more than 12 hours. 

And these days, these listlessly long days, let Ryujin know of her sympathetic entanglement, and, seemingly intensifying it. Ryujin, with her sore body, stared at Mr. Rager’s phone number on her phone - the curves of the numbers kept reminding her of everything she thought about days before (the curves of the numbers some dubious correlation with Mr. Rager). She’s about to do it again, two fingers, knuckle-deep, into her folds until she’s a drooling mess on the bed. She was already a mess to begin with, a crook in her neck, half her bed unmade, sleep-deprived.

That isn’t to say that Mr. Rager wasn’t just as affected. He never succumbed to the pleasure of the hand, but the dreams, the wistful dreams. Imagining her close smile against him, moaning soft and goading phrases right into his ear - melodiously erotic. Her soft palms against his broad back, pressing deep - trying her best to not scratch up his back. You’re fucking me so good, mm- she’s whimpering, right on your ear, fuck, shivers throughout. Then, halt. It’s the fucking alarm.

Both awake, going through their groggy morning routines to finally meet again. Would it be as magical as it was in the hospital? Would it ever be so calm?

–

The time to meet was approaching quickly. Ryujin got ready, her perfect face, judiciously given with all her perfect talents, was colored with minimal effort, any more and she’d show off her inexperience with makeup - Mr. Rager would’ve lost it all regardless. Because, she was dressed in this tight dress, the type of dress that a girl like her deserves, expensive, ornate, sexy; but, she was a special case, she’d never worn something so ornate and so revealing, and the mirror would reflect a little doe desperately pulling on the hems that revealed her taut thick thighs, the cusp of her petite bosom, and any effort to cover was an ultimately futile effort, this was something she had come to terms with, before leaving her small studio.

And, as if she were in a Wong-Kar Wai movie, she entered the bus: all glammed out in a shitty environment. And the nervous eyes in the bus quickly looked away, intimidated heavily; still, some passengers hoped that they could get a glimpse with the spasm of their pupils to her direction - that’s how good she looked.

She sat down mindfully, crossing her legs - alarmingly aware of the stares. Her face adopted a natural blush - a face too beautiful to hide. Her eyes, set beneath her delicately arched eyebrows, stared at the reflection of herself from the wide glass. She’d never be able to understand her own beauty, too often enveloped in imposter syndrome, and the only person, Mr. Rager, would be the one, who could tell her the beauty of her cascading black hair; her large eyes, accentuated by a deep-set gaze; the beauty with which she carried herself, awkward, yet enigmatically, always, the most beautiful person in the room.

Mr. Rager, gaunt from the opioids, still looked herculean, a fitful combination that fit any clothing piece. With an androgynous face that was covered with sharp eyebrows, dark under eyes, high cheek-bones, and a sort of asymmetrical face that was almost better than the conventional symmetry: in summary, he was someone you couldn’t miss. This inherited comeliness comes with its risks, from the ease of life to the women, things that Mr. Rager succumbed to in violent fashion. Other than that, his preparation was pretty rapid, hopping into his entirely dark-tinted - for obvious reasons - car and set off into the gentle night.

Ryujin landed at the closest bus point to the meeting point. Her dress was unsuited for the weather, and her body began going frigid under a chilly summer day. That’s until a black car, a mercedes s-class, stopped ahead of her. It was nothing to be worried about, she’d just pass by it, acting as if she didn’t see it. However, the figure that exited the car was all too familiar: Mr. Rager.

“Ryujin.” Mr. Rager took a look, scanning her body - making it all too obvious with his pupils - instantly realized why he’s been thinking constantly about her - she’s just the most beautiful person.

And Ryujin, the way her knees slightly folded from seeing Mr. Rager, a slight spasm in her joints - she really missed him. And her hands crossed together between her loins, her eyes opened slightly larger.

“Don’t be so nervous.” He chuckled, that chuckle, that deep chuckle - Ryujin could feel the heat in her core. “Come in, you still have a long way to go,” she gladly accepted, entering into the car: feeling the soft seats, the fragrance of the unusual smell of vanilla and sandalwood (in a car?), and the overwhelming luxury around her surroundings.

“Be sure to dial the temperature or dial whatever you need, I’m sure you were pretty cold outside.” Mr. Rager said, aware of how Ryujin is not one to engage in something without permission - only if he knew what she’d done, the moment before she left, that day. However as he talked, all Ryujin could respond with was a chuckle, she was too focused on how the sentence sounded, how his eyes placed on her face, and occasionally, how it landed on her chest. And that was just the pinnacle for her.

He couldn't stop his gaze, this fermentation of a pending calamity was bounding closer and closer, and thrilled both parties to no end - they couldn’t even hide their own temptations behind the screen of a platonic hang out. By the seconds, the passing seconds, they got bolder, he got bolder. He let his eyes wander far down, her creamy white legs, her meticulous maintenance of it all. And Ryujin was wallowing in it all, his sharp gaze made her feel warmer, wetter - enticing her to dial down the temperature, a contrast from when she was so cold outside.

Still, they’d say nothing, despite it all. The silent hum of the tire scraping against the asphalt was all the credence, the distraction, they were allowed. The rest was this endorphin-filled, endorphin-crazed environment where both of them knew that they were pushing too quickly, given the fact that this companionship began from a suicide attempt.

Still, there’s this slip of time, where they could, possibly, love each other. Though, before these exponential entropic forces caused all sorts of calamity, they arrived at the spot. This run-down complex, that hid a quaint restaurant with private rooms, was a source of nostalgia for Mr. Rager. Ryujin followed, climbing the stairs, ascending just behind him, pulling down on her dress, sticking her thighs together as she climbed (a natural precaution). The restaurant was exactly that, quaint. They entered one of the tight-fitting cubicles, where they sat across from each other, a small sitting-table separated their bodies - unfortunately.

“Don’t be too worried about this restaurant, it may be run down, but it’s a great experience.”

“Oh, no, no, I’m not worried about that, I frequent far more run down establishments than this.” As the words left her tongue, Ryujin cringed, frequent? What am I? A prostitute? Her eyebrows knitted.

“Relax Ryujin,” he chuckled, “enjoy yourself, I’ll pay for it all.”

“That’s the first step to the debt?” Ryujin grinned, loosening, gaining her natural confidence.

“Perhaps. Come on, go crazy.” There it is, that nice toothy grin, her cheeks ripple into some sort of whiskers - god, he’d do anything for that, again and again. 

The dishes came, oily dishes full of food, and Ryujin’s eyes glazed in excitement. After a brief, too quick, moment of eating, both of them leaned back - absolutely full.

“You got a bird’s stomach for your ambition, Ryujin.”

“And you’re a head taller than me, but you’re leaning as well!”

“Good point.” He chuckled, fighting indigestion through it.

“I don’t even like oily food.”

“Me too.”

This time, a collaborative laugh.

Mr. Rager paid the meager bill, leaving all the food to rot on the table - the plight of abundance.

–

“Anything you want to do today?” Mr. Rager asked, putting on his seatbelt.

“It’s really late, I really wanted to punish your wallet, you played your cards right going out so late..” Ryujin relaxed into the seat, fully comfortable, in-tune.

“Well, if you don’t have any plans. Mind if I go the reservation for us?”

“What reservation?”

“That’d ruin the surprise, Ryujin.” The ambient sound of the tires against the ground in combination with the dark night - the darkest night before morning - was an even more intense atmosphere.

This peaceful atmosphere, intense, yet peaceful, again, just like the hospital visits. This interesting continuation of happiness, so foreign to his life, was something that he could get used to. His forearm pressed against the storage compartment, letting his hand spill over; his other arm was loosely steering, as loose as the gentle dark night. 

As he trailed the road, occasional peeks at Ryujin showed her transition to sleep: drowsy eyelids that infrequently close for periods of time, then, longer periods, then, sleep. 

Who was this angel? This angel that wrought Mr. Rager all manners of hope, of happiness, of reflection. If he hadn’t been so stubborn about his affliction towards personal information, maybe, just maybe he’d understand her more, this girl - so beautifully clad in a flowery dress.

Is this love, this elusive feeling? How could it be so cruel? So cruel as to bring it to me at a time so random, and so heavily…

Again, he forgot his bad habit: speaking his thoughts out loud.

He realized too late, and he could feel her large eyes staring at him, confused. 

Yet, and yet, he felt the gentle warmth of another palm on his forearm - a reassuring grip.

“Min, I love you too.”

CHAPTER III: No Longer Mr. Rager

I want to kiss you on your space below your navalette

The place you keep so neat, so moist like a towelette

Ryujin, her beautifully beady eyes looked at you, as she lifted your forearm, planting little kisses all over it.

“Oh Ryujin.”

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that, Min.” A statement that left her lips as she continued worshiping his forearm.

Jesus, this woman.

He pulls into the closest parking spot, giving not a single fuck that there were a few cars there - all likely empty, anyway.

And, with all pretenses and courtesy removed, the forearm that was so judiciously worshiped, wrapped around her nape, pulling her into a searing kiss. That deep moan, that accepting moan as his mouth opened against hers. He almost forgot the most essential question - suddenly, slightly pulling away from the kiss.

“How’d you find out about my name, Ryujin?” Min asked.

“A woman doesn’t disclose her secrets, besides, how could my love not have a name?” Cheesy, feisty, what a woman.

“Good point.” Another searing kiss, dynamic, evolving, every step more depravedly romantic than the previous.

He was pretty sure that he’d break something, in the middle compartment, that separated you from total body connection. Again, you pull away, this time, it brought out a desperate whine out of her, her arms that wrapped desperately around you kept pulling you in - like a vortex.

She understood the memo as soon as he exited the car - love connection. This time, with a wider space, still constricted, was the best they could do, and they’d relish this extra space. Min, naturally assumed dominance over Ryujin, her body acclimated against his aggressive pulls and pushes - all for the pleasure of Ryujin, and she didn��t take it lightly, each breath heavy with the densest pleasure. Oh, oh, oh, keep manhandling me. She’d whisper. And he’d obey.

As Ryujin, with her tight dress, splayed against the seats on her back, took initiative to take off Min’s clothes, button-by-button. “Oh I’ll fuck you so good, Ryujin, so fucking good.” He’d repeat, over and over, and Ryujin would get more aroused by each iteration: “Yes, yes! Please.” Occasional soft bites were felt all over his collarbone, his neck, his earlobe. “Possessive little bird, I’m not going anywhere.” He caressed her head, making sure that he’d also mark her, a heavy hickey on her neck.

And Ryujin fucking loves it, she softly caresses him, soft grasps against his back, locking her taut legs around him, begging for continuations. And, Min would obey, in his own rebellious way, tightly grabbing her breasts - hidden behind the dress - then pressing kisses all over her neck, nearly all of them hickeys. 

“Fuck the reservation,” he grunted, it was an expensive reservation, but he doesn’t give a fuck: Ryujin’s right under him, begging for him to ravage her taut body. And she replies, “That’s right, that’s right, mister, master!” The end of her sentence was capitalized by Min’s heavy grasp on her breasts.

“That’s right, little bird.” Low grunts against her ears, his thick shaft, covered, grinded against her body, while his mouth assaulted hers.

And she cums, her head turns up, looking wherever - straining her neck - to release her pleasure. “Ngghhh!!!” A heavy whine, so enthusiastically human, straining against the seats that held her back. “Holy shit! That was so amazin-” enough talking, he’d motion, locking mouths together.

Silent moans, “mmmf..” hummed against his tongue, Ryujin was so turned on, and he’d love to fulfill all her wishes. Each rotation of his hip against hers were accentuated by Ryujin’s deep moan, squeaky moans, the moans that she couldn’t hide by covering her mouth. His hand, fixed onto her breasts, finally ventured below, feeling her lithe abdomen - the slightest abs - then letting his hand rest on her pelvis, just above her pussy. 

He finally released himself from the hypnotizing kiss, staring at her body - mostly still covered by the dress: now, that, won’t do. He pulled on the bottom hem of her dress, revealing her wet core, an embarrassed squeak along with it all. “You’re so fucking hot, Jesus,” he had a taste of what her body looked like, and he just can’t get enough. All precaution thrown out the window, the expensive dress was about to be ruined, and Ryujin - ever resourceful - seemed to allow it. He pulled the upper hem of the dress down, breaking the straps that could’ve been removed easily - this is a statement, I own you - Ryujin seemed to get the memo - all beady and begging.

Her soft breasts, creamy, smooth, with pink nubs spilled out from the tight dress. He pressed both his hands, all over her body, exploring the transitions from her taut skin to the scrunched dress, making sure to remember every facet of it all. “How badly do you want it?” He whispered, wholly focused on her body, subtly noticing her wet core, the outline of her pussy growing clearer by the second. And Ryujin didn’t even have to answer the question, locking her legs around his waist, frantically trying to get her hips on his covered shaft - yeah, she’s fiending for it.

And Min, ever the indulgent, gently moved and hovered his hand over her neck, waiting for that confirmation, that wink, that nod - and, Ryujin, calming down from the intense pleasure, nodded. That first grasp, tight, measuring her tolerance, measuring just the moment when the eyes go back to her eyes - and he seemed to completely pinpoint it, that slight spasm of her body, and her inner thighs are just soaked.

Finally, Min decided it’s time to give her sopping cunt some attention. Peeling the layer to the side, wet with the highest arousal, hid her bright pink core - and it, her core, was begging to be sated, pulsing, glistening, beautifully fragrant.

Firstly, he let a single finger prod, then entered. And Ryujin was already shaking, her eyes went straight to the back of her head, and her neck vascularized - all veiny - from the soft choke. It would’ve been too cruel to give her too much pleasure, so he took his hand off her throat, instead, patting her head - letting her know that she's doing so good, so good. 

In and out, motion of the ocean, slick covering his finger the deeper he went, earning the most virile moans out of her cute mouth. “You like that, huh?” He dug deeper, until his knuckle - a loud moan. She had never felt anything like this, her two fingers could never compare, and she’s a virgin after all, and she’s about to get deflowered in the backseat of a car - and, she loves it. 

In a swift motion, where Min continued his manhandling of Ryujin, he pulled his finger out - in a hook motion to agitate her g-spot, earning a girlish yelp - then, let Ryujin taste her own juices on his finger.

“You’re doing so good.” Min whispered, so overly joyed by Ryujin, how her petite body convulsed in pleasures beyond what he could ever imagine.

“I know.” Ryujin replied, defiant to the end. She knew exactly how this inspired him to be rougher - and she loves it. He gripped her waist, gripping harder, letting her firm abdomen mold against his grip, dug deeper into her cunt, placing his thumb over her engorged clit. One. Two. Three motions around her clit, three motions of his finger into her cunt - before she squirted onto the side window, far more girlish yelps, and desperate panting. This time, Min with his wet hand, spread it all over Ryujin’s face - the essence of her arousal, via his hand, spread on her face, where makeup was placed so thoughtfully, only to be ruined by her own squirt. She’s panting amidst all this, unable to process anymore than her overwhelming second orgasm. 

“You’re a fucking mess, Ryujin, cumming this quickly?”

“You made me this way…” She huffed, “you fucking brute.”

This time, all Min does is press against her pelvis - specifically, the pelvic bone, where just below is her g-spot, and the slight pressure, was absolutely deadly. All the while, he declared, “That’s right, little bird. I’ll press you against the seat, face-down, slam into your ass with all the force I can muster - then, when I’m deep, too deep, cervix-level deep, I’ll release all my cum into your precious little womb.”

“Nghhh~~!” And another squirt, where her legs closed together, toes curled, and her head hung back. While Ryujin was trying to recover, Min placed a quick and wet kiss on her lips, but that'd be the only romanticism that Min allowed her. Quickly, he let her sit up, pulling her by her thin wrists. Then, he pulled down his own pants - letting his shaft free from the restraints of his tight clothing, the painful onset of an early blue balls in its conception, that was only fuel to the fire to fuck Ryujin good, and hard.

“Sit on my lap facing me, Ryujin.” He demanded. And no matter how much Ryujin came, squirted, panted, and yelped - she’d always oblige in Min’s demands. She quickly hooked her other leg over him, in a hovered position rather than sitting. This time, he passed his fingers through her wet hair, letting it pass behind her ear, “safe word is Mimetic,” and he earned a soft nod from Ryujin, and consent to batter her sopping, wet, sticky, engorged pussy.

He slithered a hand around her waist, holding her in place; then, placed his other hand around her neck, just on the nape. He pulled her in for one last kiss. The last bit of eye contact before penetration, and all that could be seen in Ryujin’s eyes - beady and all wet from pleasure - was a fiending desire to be fucked silly.

Slowly, he let her descend, right up until his tip kissed her wet folds. She winced from her sensitivity, just from the touch. And that’s when it flashed in her eyes, she wasn’t sure if she was ready, given the fact that she hadn’t told him about her virginity. Before she could realize her thoughts through speech, she felt the intense heat of something foreign entering - something so thick and large - and it wrought every emergency signal in her brain - all of them, positive. “Oh–OH, fuck…” is all that Ryujin squeaked out before he pushed in deeper, feeling her gentle pussy wrap around his shaft - all wet and moist. A constant sizzling whisper could be heard from Ryujin as he buried his cock deeper, until, halfway in, where she let out a deep moan. “Holy fuck,” she moaned again, deeper. Holy fuck is right, her body was so resistant, tight right at the start to the end, yet, the way it also sucked his shaft into its wet folds - Min was already addicted.

“Ryujin, you’re so tight.” He said as he kept nudging Ryujin to move farther down, waiting for her glistening pussy to completely wrap around his shaft - then, eventually, completely devour her in the backseats of his own car. Yet, as he went through it with her, he began clueing in on the note - Ryujin is very.. Too sensitive. Why Ryujin focused on getting herself down, skewering herself on his length - desperately breathing, her chest dilating in and out. Through it all, as Ryujin tried to, adorably, hide her inexperience, Min pressed a compassionate kiss right into her mouth. 

“I love that. The fact that you’re so horny for a virgin.” He whispered against her mouth, breathing hotly, immeasurably hard.

And Ryujin needn’t respond at all, all she needed to do - well, did - was reach out with her tongue for his mouth, with those prey eyes, begging to be taken, testing her fickle fate - a sign that he needed to kiss her, devour her, again and again until hell freezes over. And finally, during the desperate haze of a reunification of mouths, he finally buried himself straight to the hilt, in her pink, glistening, sopping, beautiful core. And slowly, the wet sounds of sex, so blatantly loud in this claustrophobic environment, reverberated inside the car; the wet sounds of her moans covered this hazy atmosphere, coming from her lips that detached from his mouth, streaks of saliva still connecting them both; and that feeling, this mutual feeling of utter bliss, how her back bent - contorted - into every pump.

They couldn’t stop staring at each other, two perverts, two soulmates who couldn’t go for a second without looking at each other. Even when Min pushed up harder, letting his full length pass through her virginal hole, they still maintained that sensual eye contact - that essential eye contact.

“You fuck me so good, Min.” Ryujin said as her two small breasts jolted from every pump, every contraction of his length leaving her one step closer to ruin - until her eyes went back to that dangerous place, that orgasm line. And the resulting pressure, that heavenly pressure, pressed against his shaft so strongly, that his tight-lipped mouth let out a few growls of pleasure, a sign that he’s close to painting her womb in baby batter. 

Ryujin, ever the caretaker, felt the convulsions, and began pressing desperate kisses over his face - anywhere she could reach, whilst patting him on the back. And Min would never admit he liked it, that he loved it, and he didn’t need to admit it, Ryujin already knew. 

And she knew exactly, that this was the final straw that she needed to break before she was filled with his essence, the catalyst of that final convulsion. Min immediately seized, grabbing Ryujin in a bearhug - one that could’ve bruised her - and pumped hard, that final wet sound of sex, before, rope after rope of release entered deep inside her, splashing against her cervix, filling her womb.

“FUCKKK!!” He growled, he hadn’t felt this good since ever. And the same for Ryujin, who cried a leaky yelp, where her last bits of squirt flowed down the slightest nook from their love connection. They were static for a moment, relishing in the deviant copulation they engaged in, where, almost, the condensation of their lovemaking was visible in the air of the car.

“I love you.” She kissed him again, staring all lovey-dovey, as if her pupils had gone and turned into hearts.

“I love you.” He stared at her, happy, smiling.

“I love you more.” She added, exaggerating her laugh, trying to tease.

“I concede.” He replied.

“Heyyy! You’re supposed to say it back!” “I’m more for physical demonstrations. Wanna see?”

“Uh no. Please. It feels like it's about to fall off.” She was mentioning her pussy, all swollen and gummy to the eye.

“I love it, it’s so beautiful.” He replied, fully serious, digging his mouth into her neck, he was absolutely crazy about her.

“Min, I gotta take a shower, you’re being gross-” that’s when Min pressed a finger onto her - still engorged - clit, and proceeded to say, “I’m fucking crazy about you.” 

“Ngh! Stop! Seriously, it’s about to fall off.” Unfortunately, the collected accumulation of their love juices swiftly dripped down as Ryujin jolted back from him touching her clit.

“Isn’t this gonna stain your car until the end of time?” She stared at the significant puddle of who knows what.

“Let it. A commemoration of our intense copulation.”

Ryujin blushed, quickly grabbing the tissues that Min offered her, and wiping off all that she released, her entire lower half, essentially, was wet. And Min got aroused from watching Ryujin cleaning herself - her little winces when she slightly grazed her cunt only adding fuel to the fire. “Clean my cock.” Min demanded, but when Ryujin grabbed the tissues - ready to oblige - he replied, “with your mouth.”

To be continued...

Ahhh, I love cliffhangers. Enjoy waiting for 10 months! (just kidding!)

Honestly, I wanted to take months with this project, but I just can't seem to stop myself (from writing mid stuff).

[rosyhoneydew]

12 + bucktommy

ooh two for in grief so I'll make this one a little longer :) thank you sei and anon!! <3 also I PINKY PROMISE this has a happy ending, okay? Trust! also very minor emetophobia warning!

12. ...in grief.

It's bad. Buck knows it's bad because Eddie's arms are around him and they're holding him back. His feet keep slipping on the dirt and his hands scramble against Eddie's forearms as he tries to break free.

"You don't wanna see that, man, trust me," Eddie's saying, his voice breaking.

"Fuck you. You got to say goodbye to Shannon," Buck bites back. It's mean, too mean for Eddie, who's just trying to spare him the sight of- of... of what's just beyond the yellow tape.

Eddie doesn't flinch. Just looks at him, thoughtful, drops his eyes to his feet, and lets Buck go. Buck stumbles a bit as he gets his bearings and sprints over to the scene, dodging the others who try weakly to stop him.

Tommy is lying on the ground, awake, barely, and coughing from the dust swirling around him still. A large slab of basalt is covering his body from the top of his thigh to most of his chest and up to his neck.

He can hear paramedics from the 226 talking around him, the words compartment syndrome and infection swirling around somewhere in his brain while he takes it all in. Tommy was just supposed to be out hiking with- with-

"Buck," someone grabs him by the arm, "I'm so sorry, oh my god, I'm so-"

Buck turns to Sal, his face is a grey pallor and his eyelashes are clumped together with tears and dust. In a few days, Buck will go over to Sal and Isabelle's. He'll thank him for calling 911 so quickly, for doing his best to keep Tommy talking and breathing while they waited, but right now he turns away again and makes his way to Tommy, lying down next to him.

"Hey, sweetheart-" Tommy wheezes out, sending him into a coughing fit again and jolting his body where it's crushed under the rock.

"Don't- don't talk," Buck says, breath hitching. "You're gonna be fine, Tommy, okay? You're- you're gonna be okay but you can't talk. I- if you talk then you'll just make it worse, and..." and it's already really bad.

Tommy smiles at him, tears sliding slowly from the corner of his eye. I'm sorry he mouths.

Fuck. Buck breaks down into heaving sobs. He's not- he can't-

No. He'll fix this. It's okay. His hands brush dust away from Tommy's face. He wipes his sleeve over Tommy's eyes, to clear away the tears, and he check's Tommy's pulse in 3 different spots. It's weak in his leg, but it's there.

"Buck..." someone is saying behind him.

"Evan."

Buck lifts his head from Tommy's ankle, lying down close to Tommy's face again.

"I'm right here, I'm right here," Buck says, grabbing Tommy's hand and taking care not to jostle him too much.

I love you Tommy mouths so much.

More tears flow from Buck's eyes. He's a mess of snot and dirt and he can't stop taking these gross gasping breaths instead of just breathing normally; and he thinks he might be on the verge of having a heart attack because his chest has never hurt like this, never felt like this.

"I love you," Buck says for the both of them. He leans in and kisses Tommy on his mouth, crying harder at the way Tommy can't find the energy to kiss back.

"Buckley, we gotta move him," someone says.

"No!" Buck cries, kissing him again and lying over the top of Tommy's chest. Tommy's not looking at him anymore. His eyes are closed and Buck has to fix this.

"Come on, Buck," Hen's voice breaks through the noise of his own sobs, her hands peel him away from Tommy, firm, but with enough give that he knows she's handling him delicately.

"We'll follow you," Eddie says to one of the paramedics not lifting the rock from Tommy's chest.

And then they're ushering Buck into the truck they showed up in, back when they thought this was just another call, a bad one, sure, but not this. He's shivering, shock invading his body like he was the one crushed, suffocating under rock.

"Hen," he mumbles when they're on their way, staying close behind the sirens of the ambulance ahead of them. He's not sure what he means to say.

"I know," she says anyway.

It's hours before anything changes. Tommy goes right into surgery and Sal and Isabelle show up to wait with him, holding his hands each time the doctor comes out to update them. He throws up twice and cries again right into Isabelle's cashmere sweater.

It's around 4 AM that he falls asleep, waiting in the ICU for any updates. It's 6 AM that he's shaken awake by Lucy Donato, smiling like a maniac in his face.

"Wake up, Buckley!" she says. "He's asking for you."

Chills break out over Buck's body and he sprints down the hall nearly running right into a nurse who's headed into Tommy's room with a pack of clear liquid.

She smiles at him, holding the door to the room open for him and then, god, then Buck sees him.

He looks terrible. He's got the darkest circles Buck has ever seen under his eyes, his hair is a mess. He's still covered in scratches and a bit of dirt. He's perfect. He's perfect.

Buck takes a gasping breath and feels relief flood his body.

"Tommy," he sighs, full of love.

[translatemunson]

we play dumb but we know exactly what we’re doing • ttfd

chapter two of the tortured firefighters department

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter

cw: fem!reader, afab!reader, no descriptions of reader, banter (because i love it), mentions of food, bobby almost adopting brains, proofread by my bye-lingual ass (let me know if i forgot anything)

Your sneakers made funny noises while you walked up the stairs to the communal room — the mezzanine with a view for the ground floor — at the 118 firehouse. The fresh baked brownies — that you baked the night before, just in time to put it on the blue tupperware and take with you for your shift — jiggled as you approached the top of the stairs.

You checked the garage again, looking for Chimney’s ambulance, when you found the loft empty. Well, not that empty.

“Good afternoon, Captain Nash.” You greeted the man. As a dispatcher, your voice was your most recognizable mark, only giving out your name when necessary. And in your job, it was your responsibility to know the names of the captains. You wished Captain Nash was just an occasional contact, but lately he has been the one on the other end of the comms.

“Afternoon, dispatcher.” He was preparing some lunch for his team. “How can I help you?”

“Is Chimney around? I have something for him. Actually, it is for Maddie and baby Jee.” You motioned to the tupperware.

“He’s gonna be back soon, got stuck in traffic after delivering a civilian to the hospital. But if you are in a hurry, I can give it to him.” The captain was busy with the pans on the stove and chopping vegetables for a salad, you supposed.

“Just left my shift, I can wait. I don’t trust firefighters with carbs and sweets, no offense.” You pulled one of the chairs and took a seat, still watching the man moving effortlessly in the kitchen. “She called in sick and I need to deliver these to her before I have a kid on my doormat demanding more than just brownies.”

“None taken. Can I get you some coffee while you wait?”

“Tell me where to find a cup and I’ll get it myself, don’t wanna delay your lunch.”

“Second cabinet on the left.”

“Thanks, Cap.”

You stood up and walked into the kitchen. You have to admit: they were definitely eating well because it had all the appliances necessary for any recipe, and the smell was divine. Even the coffee had a unique aroma. Who could you talk to in order to get half of what they had in the firehouse? 

“It’s the least I can do for the mastermind behind the calls after that huge traffic jam downtown last week.” He smiled. “How did you manage to divert the teams and the civilians so fast?”

“Just like ants follow patterns, so do the LA drivers. GPS apps can give up the fastest options based on their data, but it takes too much time when it comes to rescuing someone.” You explained as you walked back to your seat. “Glad no one was badly injured that day.”

“I’ve never got to an accident scene so fast. You’re really good with predictions.”

“I think my future could be bright if I used my superpowers for fortune telling and betting,” you joked. “I should be the one thanking you for all your work. And your team.”

“Bring us some of those,” he was clearly talking about the brownies, “any time.”

“Will do.”

As you finished your cup of coffee, you saw the ambulance entering the garage. Chim and Henrietta, his paramedic partner, left the vehicle and went straight for their lockers. A few more minutes wouldn’t kill you.

“Wanna stay and have lunch with us?” Captains Nash offered.

“Maybe another time. Thanks.”

It didn’t take long for Chim to show up upstairs. He looked surprised to see you in the 118 kitchen. You stood up and gave him the tupperware. “I told Maddie how many brownies I got her, so don’t fuck it up,” you warned him.

“Your package is safe and sound with me, Brains. Are you in a hurry?”

“Kinda. I have an important meeting with my bed.”

“Fair enough.” He patted your shoulder, acting like the big brother Maddie warned you about.

“See you soon, Chim. Thanks for the coffee, Cap!”

They waved goodbye, and you looked forward to spending the rest of your day sleeping. No calls, no traffic, no thesis: just you, your recently washed bed covers and fluffy pillows. The only thing in your way was a few miles to your apartment.

“I thought I’d hear you before seeing you again, Brains.”

It was scary how, after one meeting, you could recognize his voice anywhere. 

 “Guess it’s your lucky day, Buckley. Don’t get too happy, I’m already leaving.” You turned around to face him. The black firefighter uniform fitted him very well, even better than the white polo shirt and jeans he wore to the dinner.

“Is everything alright?” He tilted his head slightly, and kept his voice low.

“Yeah, just dropping off something for Maddie. Busy day?”

“Small domestic incident with light injuries, and a foundation problem.”

“So just a normal day in LA.” You knew about the banned Q-word, it was kinda a thing with every single 9-1-1 worker, including dispatchers. “Saved any cats from trees lately?”

“Ha-ha, you’re funny.” His voice was warm, but his face was dead serious. You were playing hot and cold, again and again. “Did moving go well?”

“My arms are sore, but it’s finally over. Thanks for asking.”

“You could start working out to help next time you move. Or if you decide to join the firefighters.”

Both are definitely bad ideas. Why would you need to add another activity into your packed agenda? You turned around and followed your way to your car. “I’ll leave the muscles for you, Buckley.”

“See ya, Brains!” He shouted on your back.

“Bye!” You motioned your hand in a goodbye, but didn’t look him in the eye.

Unbeknown to you, the rest of the crew was watching you both and placing bets on how long until one of you realized the banter was just the first step of something bigger.

author's note: first of all, thank you for all the love on the chapter one!!!! i think it was the first time a first chapter gets so much love, likes and attention on its first week! again: you can share some thoughts and request scenes and blurbs for this series anytime, feel free to be creative! see y'all next week

[marvel-and-chicago-fan]

Break Through Au

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: You go out ice skating on the lake with your brothers and Things don’t go as planned for you three

Warnings: CPR/Death, Falling through Ice, Hospitals, Yelling

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were on the ice with your brothers Will and Jay, even though you weren’t allowed to, you guys still went regardless.

It was 10pm, no one would be out here to get in your way or yell at you to get off the ice.

“Cmon Y/n/n, it's better out here” Jay said while attempting to slide farther out to the lake. 

“I don’t know Jay, I kinda wanna stay over here. That way I get off easier than struggling to get off if I'm way over there.” you shrugged.

“Alright then, me and will be over there if you need us' ' He pointed towards the middle of the lake.

“Alright, I’m just gonna slide around.” You shivered. Maybe I should work more layers. You thought to yourself.

After a while you got bored and decided to go over to Will and Jay who were “fighting” over who got the better hockey stick.

Will pulled out his phone and checked the time. “Guys it’s 11 o'clock, she should head home now, if we all get a cold moms gonna know that we went outside without asking her, especially if Y/n gets sick”

“But I'm getting good at hockey,” you whined.

Will and Jay just have you that look. “Alright alright let’s go” You caved.

Because your brothers were better on ice than you were, they went up ahead of you. 

“GUYS! I'M NOT AS FAST AS YOU SLOW DO-“ Before you could finish your sentence a loud Crack interrupted you.

That made the two Halstead brothers come to a halt and turn around to you. “No,” Jay whispered. “Y/n don’t move, just stay still we’ll come to you”

Before you could say anything the Ice broke.

Jays pov:

“Y/N, SHIT NO” I screamed, my little sister just fell through the ice.

Me and Will immediately slide over to where she fell in and I immediately throw my whole arm in the freezing water to see if I can feel Y/n

“Give me your other arm so I can pull you once you get her!” Will shouts.

“Once I touch something that feels semi to a human arm I pull. I can tell it’s Y/n because once I pull I feel a bit of weight. 

“PULL WILL, PULL” 

Once we were towards the edge of the Lake I pick y/n up bridal style and rushed over to land.

“Put her down here.” Will says. 

“What the hell do we do?” I cry

“She’s not breathing, Jay, you need to run back to the house and call someone” Wills is studying medicine so he knows a couple of things about what to do in a life or death situation.

“WHO DO I CALL?” I shout

“I DO GIVE A FUCK, CALL 9-1-1 AND HURRY”

My body moves into autopilot as I’m running through the forest making sure I don’t trip on any rocks or roots. 

My legs are burning and I can’t breathe but I can’t stop, if I stop Y/ns gonna die and it’ll be all my fault.

As I reach the house I punch in the code to the door and run upstairs to my bedroom. 

I basically almost threw my  phone into the air while trying to pick it up.

“9-1-1 what’s your emergency?”

“It’s -it’s my sister, she fell into the lake and I don’t know if she’s breathing”

“Check if she has a pulse”

“My older brother is with her at the lake, he-he's studying medicine so he knows what he’s doing”

“What’s your name sweetheart?”

“Uhh jay, my names Jay”

“Alright Jay, How old is your sister and how long was she under water for?”

“I don’t- 5 minutes maybe, and her name is Y/n, but we all call her Y/n/n. I don't know what I’m gonna tell my mom, that my littler sister died because we didn’t listen to her?” I’m panicking.

“Jay, I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath, I have help coming on the way right now”

How did she get my location? I didn’t even tell her.

***

The paramedics arrived and Jay led them to the lake where Will was with you. 

Will did successfully get you back but you were still unconscious. 

Why didn’t we just listen?

***

“15 Year old Female Y/n Halstead, Hypothermia after falling through ice, Was unconscious on site and Has a history of Heart issues.” The paramedic listed off all the things

(Ik that Grey's anatomy is in Seattle but because the show is so old let’s just pretend that this happened with them, it’s been awhile since I’ve watched it so if I make mistakes Woops)

“Alright,on my count if we move her. 1…2…3”Alex said.

Alex looked you over and started telling Jo things to do. “I want a head Ct, Keep me updated on her temperature and get me Derek for a consult.” Jo nodded.

Jay and Will followed Dr. Karev outside. “Is she gonna be ok?” Jay asked.

“She’s not out of the woods yet, but we won’t know more until she wakes up which will be a couple of hours” 

***

“Jay Halstead and Will Halstead” A stern voice called to them that made them Gulp.

“What in the world happened, and why did the Atwater’s call me and say that something happened on the lake and I needed to come home?” Your Mom stoked with her hands on her hips.

Jay and Will glanced at each other and knew they had no way out of this so they just decided to tell the truth and get it over with.

“I have told you guys time and time again not to play on that lake during the winter,

If you want to go ice skating go to the bigger one. Y/n has been punished enough, and as for you too, just until we get home, me and your father Will real with you. Do you understand?”

“Yes mom,” The boys said together.

“Alright, either the Atwater’s or the Uptons are going to pick you guys up and take you home. I will stay here with your sister, your father should be at home by now”

“But mom-“ Jay said. “No buts, wait here”

***

It had been a couple of weeks since the incident and A lot had happened. 

You were on the News, people came to your school and spoke about Ice safety. Jay and Will were indeed grounded but only for two weeks. The lake was now closed off while they were still doing an investigation. Which you didn’t understand why because it’s not like anything else happened but it was whatever.

“Y/n hurry up you’re going to miss the bus!” Jay shouted from downstairs.

“HOLD ON IM COMING” You grabbed your backpack and ran down the stairs.

After getting all your stuff in your backpack you got all your stuff ready to walk to the bus stop.

“Alright, what’s the rules?” Will questioned you.

“No wandering off to the other lake, don’t take off my jackets unless I really need to and don’t get anything that will drop my body temperature” 

“Good.”

“Do you still have to put my hat and Jacket on for me? I’m 15 years old.”

“Because of recent events and mom being gone and I’m going to leave soon I need to make sure you're ok, plus your body temperature is still not to its normal temp yet so layers it is.” You rolled your eyes at what would be said.

“I will pick you up for your doctor's appointment maybe 30 minutes before school ends, and Jay will drop your lunch off at the front office” Will said as he started walking at the door. 

“Bye will see you later” 

Once Will was gone, you ate the last of your waffles and grabbed your hot chocolate or what Jays calls “Jay's famous Hot chocolate” but it tasted like any other drink.

***

“I miss having you out on the lake by the middle school” Your friend Ellie said.

“Me too, but ever since my mom died Will and Jay have been strict on what I can do since my dad won’t really do much and they're trying to get me to learn stuff before Will leaves for New York and Jay leaves to serve” You shrugged.

“But I did convince Jay to get you some fries and nuggets” You laughed 

“You are literally the best, I really didn’t feel like spending all my money in my account today” Yeah the school food was expensive but it’s because you guys had fast food restaurants in your cafeteria so I guess it made sense.

***

“Hey Nugget” Will greeted you as you got into the car.

“Hi Will, can we please get McDonald’s after my appointment?” 

“Sure, where’s Jay? I told him he could get out of school early since he has a free period this week.”

“He said he wanted to stay at school, so he’s probably just walking around the hallways or doing whatever Jay does” You shrugged.

You thought about it for a while, your life was somewhat falling apart. Will was leaving for New York. Jay was getting deployed so you weren’t gonna see him. And your mom was gone so all you had left was your Dad, and your dad wasn’t the best person now since your dad died.

“Hey Will?”You broke the silence 

“Yeah Nugget?” 

“I’m- I’m gonna miss you when you leave” Here comes the water works.

“Me too Y/n me too”

Life from now on was going to be way different for you , and everyone around you knew that. You were going to get through it and it was going to be Ok. Right?

Well that’s at least what you thought…

[bxbynyah7]

Told You So- Sam Golbach One-Shot

sam x oc (Emmy)

summary: Living with 5 boys always proves to be a trip. Except when someone finally gets hurt, and it so happens to be your boyfriend

warnings: cussing, broken bones, yelling, Sam gets full named by Emmy, (I think that's it)

A/N: This is my first story I have ever posted online. I have a few written that I want to push out and they will for sure be longer than this one. I hope you enjoy and if you want to read something specific, send in a request :)

----------------------- S A M G O L B A C H ------------------------------

Living in the traphouse with my boyfriend, Sam, was exciting to say the least. We lived with some of his closest friends so you can imagine it was like living with 5+ toddlers sometimes. And today was one of those days. I was sitting inside at the bar trying to work on some editing for some of Sam’s new pictures from the photos I took for him when I heard all the boys yelling from the back yard. I shut my laptop and grabbed my phone off the counter with an eye roll. I walked outside into the hot L.A. sun and stood with the rest of the boys. My tank top and shorts stood out against all of their hoodies and jeans even though it was damn near 100 degrees outside. “What the hell are ya’ll doing?” I asked them. Colby, Jake, Corey, and Aaron just looked at me like deer stuck in headlights. “What? Cat got your tongues or something?” I said with an attitude. I needed to get back to work. Sam wanted to post those pictures today, so I needed to get them edited. “Nothings going on, Em. Why would you think something is going on?” Jake stuttered towards me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Colby who was making, well attempting, subtle glances up to the top of the house. Confused, I looked up and saw my boyfriend standing on the edge of the roof. “Samuel John Golbach! What the fuck are you doing up there?” I yelled at him. He smiled sheepishly and gave me a small wave. “Hi baby. I was about to help the boys make a TikTok, wanna watch?” He called back down at me. I looked at him irritated. “Sam, what TikTok are you making?” I asked. I was genuinely concerned for him. I had no idea what they could possibly be doing. I hadn’t been on TikTok in over a week because of work. “Okay I’m filming. Whenever you’re ready, Sammy boy!” Corey yelled. Colby whooped and cheered and Sam counted down from three. On three he jumped and fell down fast. He was supposed to land in the live seat they had under him. He missed and landed partially on the ground. “Sammy!” I yelled and ran over to him. He groaned and tried to turn into his stomach. “No baby stop you can’t roll over. You might’ve fractured your spine” I told him while holding him still. He looked at me with tears in his eyes. “Fuck this hurts.” He whispered to me. I had silent tears running down my face as I kissed his forehead. “ I know, sweet boy. The ambulance is on its way I promise.” I whispered back. “How long until the ambulance gets here?” I asked the boys. “There right around the corner.” Colby told me. I heard the siren before I saw the lights because I didn’t want to take my eyes off Sam. “Ma’am, we’ve got it from here.” One of the paramedics told me. “Okay, uhh he’s 24, jumped from the roof and landed partially on the lovesac. I heard a big crack when he hit the ground, so I think he fractured his spine. If not the spine, some of his vertebrae.” I rattled off quickly. “Damn woman, you a nurse or something?” The other paramedic asks with a laugh. “Studying to be one actually. That and I live with a bunch of dumbass boys who like to do stupid shit.” I told him with a small laugh. They got Sam up in the gurney and loaded him in the ambulance. “You wanna ride with him, nurse girl?” They asked me. I nodded my head and hopped up and sat next to Sam. “Emmy, it hurts. Like so fucking bad.” Sam whispered to me. “I know it does. You jumped off the roof and missed the bean bag. What did you expect?” I asked him. I grabbed his hand and rubbed soothing circles on the back of his hand with my thumb. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand gently. 

time skip to the hospital

“Well, you indeed did fracture a few of your lower vertebrae. Three to be exact.” the doctor told Sam.  He looked at me with some fear in his eyes and at that moment I knew exactly how he was feeling. “Hey baby, you're fine. I know exactly how to help with the healing process so you will be in great hands.” I told him, brushing his hair back off his forehead. He smiles at me and looks back at the doctor. “Okay so what are you able to do?” he asked him. The doctor went on to explain that there wasn’t much he could do other than give him a brace and pain meds. After a conversation about what he can and cannot take, the doctor left to get the nurse for his brace. “I’m sorry this is happening to you, my love.”  I whispered to him. He brought my hand up to his lips and placed a few pecks on the back of my hand. “I'm sorry I’m putting you through this. I thought I could make that jump.” he told me. I smiled and placed a kiss on his forehead. “I told you so, babe. I told you so.”

[oh-surprise-its-me]

I watched some rodeos today so that means I desperately need to write about 20 year old non pilot Jake being a cowboy and terrifying his New York dads. (Here’s prequel to this fic)

-

Chris, David, Wolfman and Lucas are all up on the fences watching. They all are used to this kind of thing. Oh the joys of growing up in Texas.

Tom, Ron, and Hollywood are in the stands. They all keep flinching when people get tossed. Tom’s nails are digging into Ron’s arm. He gasps every time someone lands wrong. He can’t believe they let their kid do this.

They’re in Vegas. All things considered a fun trip. They all took vacation time for this. Promised that if Jake used his fake ID they won’t call him on it. This is the final day of four for the rodeo.

Jake’s good. Too good. Ron can’t stand to watch him most days. Terrified that their kid is going to slam his head and not get back up.

Lucas promises him that he’ll be over the fence first before anyone else can be. Ron supposes an ER nurse is better then the paramedics they’ve got on ground.

-

Jake is hopping in place. He can feel the energy of the stadium, he watches them put the bull in the corral, Hell Maker is his name. Jake slides his helmet on and climbs the fence. He settles on the bull.

He hears the announcer.

“And now. Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin. He’s one of the best twenty year olds competing he’s got a real chance at winning this Frank.”

“You’re so right Shawn. His father rode in Texas circles, Chris Seresin is in the crowd tonight. We’ll remind y’all listeners that the Seresins have a long history in riding rodeo.”

Jake shakes off the nerves. He knows he’s best. He can make it twelve seconds. Has to.

-

As he’s flying through the air it’s in slow motion. He made it nineteen seconds. He beat the records in place. Jake is going to make his dads buy him so many drinks tonight.

He slams into the ground. He tucks and rolls. He leaps up and takes off for the siding. Makes it over right at the bull slams into the wall.

Suddenly Jake is being held in the air. He shrieks, David and Wolf have him on their shoulders. Chris and Lucas are standing grinning up at him. Chris opens his arms and Jake jumps down and into them.

“Baby you did so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Jake sees his pa and tata make their way over to him. He’s surrounded by everyone suddenly. He’s so overwhelmed. He has to blurt it out now or he’s going to explode.

“I think this is going to be the last pro competition I do. Gonna go to med school.” They all stare at him for a second. “I’m not going to stop riding. Just no more getting thrown off intentionally.”

Ron is the first to react. “Chickie thank god.” He scoops Jake into a hug. Tom hugs him from the side. Chris plucks the hat off Jake’s head and kisses his hair.

He’s then passed to all of his uncles. Lucas looks like he might cry. He holds Jake’s face for a second. “You’ll be incredible.” Jake grins at him. “Wanna be a nurse like you. Help people.” Lucas lets the tears go down his face now. David loops his arm around his neck.

Jake is grabbed by Hollywood and Wolfman, Holly is grinning at him. He passes over two hundred bucks. “What the fuck?” Wolf blushes. “We made a bet on which career you’d follow. Decided you’d get the money no matter what happened.” Jake laughs. He grabs the two of them into a hug.

A photographer comes over and asks to take a photo of Jake with his dad. Chris smiles and agrees. Women still practically faint for him at points. Ron and Tom smile at the two of them. Jake is every bit his dads son.

Jake ends up getting a trophy. He’s proud of it but is even more proud of the money he wins at slots two nights later. All of them insist he cheated. He didn’t he’s just lucky.

-

In his thirty’s he talks Bradley into going to the rodeo, Bradley thinks it’s insane that Jake’s dads let him do this. Jake points out Mav and Goose had Bradley up in planes when he was definitely too young.

Bradley leans over while they watch the kids rodeo, “our kids are never doing this.” Jake stares at him. They’ve barely talking marriage. Fuck, Jake wants kids with Bradley. He flushes, “okay. They’re learning how to ride horses though.” Bradley nods. He presses a kiss to Jake’s head. “Anything you want sweetheart.”

[some-of-us-watch-the-sunset-too]

Sad Steve stuff idk what to call this

A/N: im feeling sad and having a crisis over the other thing i wanna write so have sad Steve with a now dead s/o. also i can’t remember if i saw someone do something similar or if i imagined that so if yk of anyone who did smth similar tell me please!

TW: suicide, death, idk Y/N gets shot ok

Tags: angst, this is really depressing i’m sad rn ok?

Steve was driving home from the DX when he looked over at the alley where Y/N normally hung out with their friends from the Shepard gang. The usually baron area was surrounded by cop cars and an ambulance. “Oh for fuck sake Y/N did you kill someone?” he muttered under his breath before pulling in at the nearest payphone. The greaser dialled his S/O’s number. it rang out. He rang the rest of the gang and received the same answer from each of them; “Y/N said they were spending the day with their other friends. Some of the Shepard guys.” He sighed. Suddenly, the thought hit him. “Shit!”

Steve bolted back to the alleyway, not bothering to grab his car. He spotted Y/N lying on the ground and sped up. Just as he was climbing over the police tape someone stopped him. “Sorry kid, you can’t go past this line. that’s the law.” A policeman held him back by the shoulder. “That’s my S/O in there! please, i can’t stay here. please..” Steve begged, his voice getting more unsteady with each word. The officer let go of his shoulder and Steve ran over to Y/N. He skidded on his knees as he got close. Tears flowed down his face as he saw the bullet wound on his love’s side. Y/N opened their eye. “Hey Stevie.” They managed a weak smile. “Y/N..darlin’ i told you to stop gettin’ into so many fights all the time.” Steve almost sobbed. He held their hand tight and brushed a stray hair off their forehead. A paramedic came up to them. “Is there any family we can call?” Steve gave Darry’s name without hesitation.

“Stevie?” Y/N whispered. “Yeah darlin i’m here i won’t leave you. i won’t leave you…” He whispered back, trying to stay strong. “Please don’t cry. I want this Stevie, please don’t cry.” Y/N begged. They sat there in silence for a moment. “I love you Y/N. You’re my everything. Stay with me, ok?” Y/N looked deep into his eyes. “I’m sorry Stevie..I love you. Just know, this ain’t your fault. It was my decision. I love you.” They continued. Steve leaned down and kissed them, they felt slightly cold. The paramedic came back. “The people we called are here. We need you to step back now.” Steve looked up at the paramedic. “Is there any way i can stay??” They shook their head. “We need to try to get them to a state where we can bring them to the hospital.” Y/N looked at the greaser. “I’ll be ok, go, i’ll see you soon.” Steve kissed his lover one last time before joining the rest of their gang.

Soda put his arm around his friends shoulders. The doctors tried to help Y/N but it was too late. “they’re dead. I’m sorry for your loss” a doctor announced as he walked over to the seven boys. Darry gasped softly. Ponyboy and Johnny both let out what sounded like a squeak. Sodapop whispered something under his breath. Dallas punched a nearby wall and Steve fell to the ground with a sob. “You have to be able to do something. Please! It’s not to late! There has to be something you can do?” He wailed. The doctor shook his head before going back to load up the body of Steve’s lover. “Wait!!” The greaser called. “Can i take their jacket. Please..” A nurse took the jacket off Y/N and handed it to Steve. “Thank you.” He walked back towards Sodapop but kept walking. He sat on the bridge where he and Y/N had their first kiss. He cried for hours. “Why would you leave me Y/N..Why…” He got up again and walked. He walked off into the darkness with nothing in his mind except the image of his once energetic lover lying lifeless on the ground.

[strangethings-everywhere]

Before You Go // Ethan Landry // Ch.4

Masterlist Word Count: 1429 Warnings: Mentions of injuries, swearing, trauma Author's Note: Hi you guys are gonna get a couple chapters this weekend you're welcome

After moving to New York with your friends after the Woodsboro killings, you try to leave all of it behind you and start over. You become friends with Ethan Landry, but after Ghostface returns, you start to become suspicious of everyone, especially him

The paramedics decided to take you to the hospital, mostly due to the fact that you were the only one in the gang who needed stitches. It had taken almost ten minutes to convince Ethan that you would be alright on your own, but he relented and they drove you away. 

Despite the adrenaline still coursing through your veins, you fell asleep on the drive to the hospital and slept until they unloaded you into a bed in the emergency room. The nurses were kind, keeping you occupied with conversation as they stitched you up and wiped all the blood from your skin. You managed to change into a hospital gown and crawled under the blankets the staff had provided. 

You were almost asleep when your phone rang. It was Mindy attempting to video call. “Hello?”

“Hey, just thought you’d wanna see all of this.” She turned the camera and you let out a gasp. 

The others were inside an abandoned movie theater full of mementos from every Ghostface killing since the beginning. You recognized a few things, like the TV that killed Stu Macher. It was incredibly detailed, with sketches of all the murders and some crime scene photos. The worst part was the glass cases containing all of the Ghostface costumes. 

“Are you guys in someone’s fucked up murder shrine?” You asked. Mindy nodded. 

“Gale found it. It’s pretty freaky.” 

“Why are all the masks gone?” You tried to look closer at the mannequins. “Is our current Ghostface using them?”

“He’s leaving a mask at every murder.” A young blonde woman stepped into view. “Like a super twisted trail of breadcrumbs. We think he’s counting down to something.” 

“Sorry, Y/N this is Kirby Reed. She was a victim of the 2011 Ghostface attacks.” Sam added. “You okay?”

“Yeah, they stitched me up and gave me some pain meds.” You nodded. “I can leave soon, they just want to make sure I’m not in shock or anything anymore.” 

“Do you need someone to pick you up?” You can see Ethan’s curls just out of view. You smiled. He was really worried about you. 

“Sure, as long as you bring me a change of clothes.” 

“Okay, I got it!” Ethan practically knocked Sam to the ground as he ran out of the room. Mindy shook her head.

“We’re gonna try to catch Ghostface, so we’ll keep you and Ethan updated. Don’t let him go all serial killer on you.” 

“Mindy, I’ll be fine.” You laughed. “Besides, I don’t think Ethan’s the killer.”

“None of us thought it was Amber either and yet…” Mindy raised her arms. “We’ll see you later.” 

It only took Ethan about ten minutes to get to you with a fresh pair of jeans, a beat-up pair of tennis shoes, and one of his old t-shirts. They ushered him into your room and he ran to you. He looked you over and then pulled you into a hug. You leaned into him, his warmth coursing through your body. He felt like safety, like home. Despite all of Mindy’s warnings, you wanted to stay in his arms forever. She had to be wrong about him. Ethan was your lifeline. 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there.” He murmured, his lips pressed to your hair. “God, I’m so sorry.”

“Ethan, I’m alright.” Your fingers traced up and down his arm, following the maze of veins under his skin. His heartbeat quickened at your touch. “Apparently Ghostface isn’t interested in me.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” He glanced down at you. Your eyes met and you were suddenly very aware of how close your faces were. You couldn’t help but feel mesmerized by his deep brown doe eyes. His curls brushed your face as he looked at you, his eyes studying every centimeter of your skin. 

“Ethan…” You whispered. You could feel your heart pounding as you stared at him. His fingers slowly entangled themselves in your hair. “Ethan…”

“Hm.” His breath feathered across your lips. Slowly, he raised his one of his index fingers and traced a line from your left temple down your cheek and across your top lip. You let out a shaky sigh, your eyes fluttering shut at his touch. Maybe Sam and Tara had been right in their teasing: you had feelings for Ethan Landry. Sure, you had always thought he was attractive and his smile would give you butterflies every once in a while, but you never thought it was anything serious. Now, with his hands in your hair and on your face, you weren’t sure. Fuck it, you could die any day. With a deep breath, you opened your eyes and leaned in.

“Miss?” 

Fuck. It was the nurse with your discharge paperwork. Ethan scrambled off the bed, his face bright red. “Yeah, hi.” She gave you an apologetic smile and set the clipboard next to you. Ethan busied himself with gathering up your dirty clothes, clearly avoiding eye contact. You shook your head. Dammit. 

Once you signed all the paperwork they had for you, you left with Ethan in tow. Neither one of you mentioned the moment that had passed between you. 

“So where is this place? The weird shrine?” You asked.

“Some abandoned movie theater. It’s tucked back in an alley, really sketchy.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “It’s like a lair.” 

“This is all super fucked up, isn’t it?” You sighed. “Twenty years of screwed-up psychopaths trying to be more sadistic than the original Ghostface. It just needs to be over.” 

“I’m sure they think they’re doing the right thing.” Ethan shoved his hands in his pockets. “In whatever twisted way that may be.” 

You stopped and turned to face him. “They THINK?”

“Well, doesn’t every murderer have some sort of weird motive? Some kind of justification for why what they’re doing is the right thing.” Ethan couldn’t meet your eyes. 

“Ethan, that is such a fucked up thing to say.” You could feel anger rising in the pit of your stomach. “I was almost killed because Richie wanted to make the ultimate Stab film. What kind of justification is that?” He opened his mouth but you cut him off. “No, there’s nothing anyone could say that could justify their actions.”

“I’m not trying to!” Ethan grabbed your arm and pulled you off the sidewalk into an alley. “Y/N, all I’m saying is that every single behind Ghostface’s mask is a human being who made some really screwed-up choices. That’s all.”

You wrenched your arm from his grip and backed away. “I can’t believe you.” Choking back an angry sob, you turned and disappeared into the crowd. You could hear Ethan shouting your name, but you kept going. It was foolish to run off, to be by yourself, but you needed to be alone. It felt like you were going to fall apart. 

Ethan’s words didn’t help your overwhelming sense of dread. It almost felt like he was… defending Ghostface. Mindy’s voice kept shouting in the back of your mind: don’t let him go all serial killer on you. What if… what if Ethan was Ghostface?

You paused, leaning against a wall. It couldn’t be him, right? He was so sweet and he had always been kind to you. Sam and Tara used to tease you about him, saying that he had a crush on you and that he followed you around like a puppy. He was kind of like a puppy, with his floppy curls and his big brown eyes. It couldn’t be him. You had seen him help others with no resistance, even stop traffic for a hurt dog during NYC rush hour. 

The presence of Ghostface in your life was enough to drive you into hysterics, but the idea that Ethan, sweet Ethan, was the person behind the mask was almost too much to bear. Hell, you’d almost kissed him. You could barely breathe and you had started sobbing almost as soon as you had left Ethan’s side. 

Suddenly, someone grabbed you and pulled you out of sight from the crowded streets. You tried to scream, but the figure covered your mouth with a gloved hand. You couldn’t tell who it was, but they were certainly strong.

“Aw, little Y/N. Something the matter?” The figure mocked. You choked back tears and desperately clawed at the arm holding you. “I’ve got a surprise for you.” 

The figure pulled back its hood to reveal a familiar head of red hair. It was Quinn with a knife to your throat and a vicious grin on her lips. “Hey bitch.”

[whatsaudreythinkingabout]

i fucking hate being a hypochondriac. there are so many things i used to love to do as a kid or wanted to do in the future that now i’m terrified to do bc i learned there’s a risk (even a small one) that i’ll contract an incurable illness that i didn’t know about before & didn’t realize i contracted until it’s too late & the disease has already spread too far into my brain and I’ll die a slow, painful death because of a seemingly innocuous decision i made. used to love petting the stray cats that hung around my old apartment, now i’m scared i’ll get rabies without realizing it (not just from a bite or scratch; even from the minute possibility of contracting it through their fur if their infected saliva came into contact with it while they were grooming themselves). used to love swimming in the lake bc my (ex-)stepdad would take us there on the weekend, now i’m scared i’ll catch the brain-eating amoeba if even the smallest drop of freshwater goes up my nose. always wanted to learn how to make garlic confit bc it looks so delicious, now i’m too scared to bc any garlic-in-oil dish (if stored improperly) carries with it the risk of botulism & i don’t wanna take any chances. this is not exaggeration or sarcasm. i genuinely live in fear of these possibilities occurring every day.

and those are just (at least what i call) the big three; that’s not even mentioning things like heart attacks (one time i had my dorm call the paramedics for what turned out to be acid reflux, another time i went straight to the health center bc my arm was sore), strokes (every once in a while i smile in the mirror to make sure my face isn’t drooping on one side), cancer (ESPECIALLY skin & breast cancer; the scariest thing is that it comes in so many forms and can affect literally anyone, anytime, anywhere, in any part of the body), covid (which i’ve already had 3 times & fear the effects it could have on my brain), etc. i can’t even pop the pimples around my nose anymore (despite my absolutely debilitating dermatillomania; unstoppable force vs immovable object) bc apparently that area of your face is called the “triangle of death” bc there’s so many blood vessels there & if you pop it then it could cause an infection that spreads straight to the brain and (you guessed it!) kills you.

and part of me wants to reassure myself that it’s all in my head and that most afflictions like these are incredibly rare (at least the big three, the other ones are more common), but the other part of me knows that even if they are rare they aren’t to be fucked with and fears the 0.01% chance that it COULD happen and will happen the minute i let my guard down. and what of the girl who cried wolf? what if i keep worrying about it happening so much every time i think it could happen and every time it turns out to be nothing, and then the one time i second-guess myself thinking “it was nothing the last 50 times, why would it be anything now?” it ends up being something? or worse, what if i try to express this to someone else and they don’t believe me because i freaked out about it so many times already and every time it turned out to be nothing but this time it turns out to be something? i know very well the warning signs and that i should always go to the doctor if i suspect i might have contracted something life-threatening (ESPECIALLY one of the big three), i would NEVER downplay the severity of something as serious as one of these, but how do i know when something is truly serious enough to warrant a visit? am i just gaslighting myself? am i overthinking it, or am i right to be afraid? how do i know when it’s the right time to be afraid? how do i stop living in fear? do i even want to stop living in fear knowing what i know now, knowing that i was so much more reckless than i thought when i was younger and have only survived this long through sheer dumb luck? why must life be so cruel that even the smallest actions carry with them the smallest chance of an excruciating death? why can’t i have shit in detroit?

[szagaloree]

Hiiii! Can I make a request were it is a t’challa x reader and it takes place during the civil war and they are on opposite teams and once they start fighting they are extremely flirty with each other

Enemies to lovers

T’challa x Reader

Contains| fluff/flirting

Contains:angst/fluff

You had your arms crossed while you listened to the buffoonery in front of you, two white men arguing over bullshit. I didn’t care for it, it had nothing to do with me since I don’t take orders from no so call government. You stood up rolling your eyes as you leave but a couple of days later capt called for you in need for you to protect a damn killer, you said no! If he wants to protect a man that forgot him in the first place and nearly killed him he can suffer his consequences.but you made a deal 1 mili for it, and surprisingly he made the deal but the twist was upfront, you made him run for his money but that money came into my bank so you decided to be “team cap” or whatever.

Tony was even surprised that You was on their side when you then told him the only reason why was for the money other then that, you would’ve never cared, you still don’t but you know. You walked inside to see a certain man you never seen before talking to Natasha, it seem they were having a serious talk by the look on his face. But, that serious face went away once he saw you, his eyes never loss track of you, you did look back and then squinted your brows trying to figure out who he was, he looks familiar but you can’t find the answers. Natasha cocks a brow noticing the whole scene “wow, someone caught your eye,” she smirks teasingly, “who is she?” He asks, “she used to work for shield, till she went rogue after a whole situation with hydra, she’s been around helping me still,” Natasha said, “hmph” he glances back at bit before looking back at Natasha.

A couple days have passed and it was fight day, Youwalked out in your suite with ‘rogue’ written across it, and you had a mask covering your face. “Let’s get this done,” capt said, we started fighting, “ahh what the hell!”You shouted when your arm got stuck in..webs? “Sorry” a literal spider swinging around, you are not drunk enough for this but luckily your wrist had heated compartment that melts things and it melt the webs allowing you to get out. You huff running out to help cap,you kick down the person who was attacking him in a “cat” suite, how cute. He rose up tilting his head, “well hello there kitty,” You taunted, pretty much he didn’t like that so he started fighting you, he managed to pin you down till you unmask “so fiesty” you said his grip loosened like he was shocked so you took the opportunity to mask back and knock him back.

You decided to walk away and not fight whoever was in that suite.

Towards the end you realize rhodey was hit you gasp, “rhodey!” You run over, Tony looks up You can see his full blown anger, “who did it?” You ask, “somebody did!” He snarled, “I’m gonna need paramedics” You called out on comms, after the whole incident, rhodey was okay thank god, he’s in therapy now, Tony walks out “tell me why you’re on the wrong side again?” He questions “I just want the money I’m apart of nobody’s,” you said “that Bucky… that soldier! He-" he inhaled sharply trying to hold in his anger “what did he do?” You ask tilting your head, “he killed my parents, it was him,” your jaw dropped, “he’s the one! What the fuck!” Now that angered you, if you would have known the truth as to why cap wanna be captain save a hoe over a man who don’t remember him it’s because he’s protecting a damn murderer!

“I be right back!” You said and turned around quickly in anger.

You walk down the hall about head to where cap was at till you feel someone was behind you, you turn around aiming your gun at nothing, “looking the wrong way,” a African accent spoke next to you, you look left aiming you gun at a unfazed man who you saw before with natasha. “Hmph..why so sneaky,” You spoke, “just listen” he said, “who might you be?” You question “who might you be?” He repeats, “never seen a man run around inna cat suite,” you said he smirks, “then maybe you should be out more,” he says.

“Rogue is my name that you’ll get,” you said.

“Rogue hmph..interesting,” he said, “why are you protecting a murderer?” He asks, “money and two I just found out what he did to Tony’s parents, so now I’m going to be the living hell out of both of them,” he cocks a brow, “so you’re doing this for the money?“ you nodded, “he killed my father, and I want him dead” he said, you raise a brow “apparently this man is a damn parent killer, I don’t blame you, that’s why when cap gives me the location it’s going straight to Tony,” you said looking at your phone.

He walks up to you a bit, you didn’t realize how tall he was till he got closer, you nearly gulped and he sensed it. “Where are you from? Cat?” You ask “a nation called wakanda,” he said my jaw dropped “there’s no way-wait a minute you’re the prince?!” He smirks nodding, “wow, a prince in a car suite never seen that before,” You said “it is called the black Panther,” he said, the way he said it with his accent really did something to you, it had to be the accent that draw this spark in you, a shy feeling “black Panther? So is this black Panther some sort in the shadows type of protector?” I ask.

“That is all you will know for now,” he smirked with a chuckle before walking away.

And you indeed beat cussed and beat the shit out of Bucky and gave cap a couple of punches after finding out the real reason, luckily you were already paid upfront to dip but you wanted to make sure they regretted what they did. During those days rhodey doing his therapy for his legs, You was training but noticed someone was watching, you took a quick glance to find that set person and it was the prince himself, standing up top by the window. “You got the prince’s eye huh?” Nat grinned, “oh shut up nat,” I roll my eyes, “you know, you should love a little take a break, for somebody who went rogue sure as hell come back to us when we need you,” she said, You shrug “that’s thing I got nothing else to do,” you shrug nonchalantly.

You did really wonder what the world had out there, you barely go out to see it since you’re always off the radar hiding from any enemies and secrets groups and what not. You’re always looking behind you because you can never trust what the darkness have for you. Later on it was night, you made it to your home, you yawn tiredly as you settle down your gun and other things. Before you could turn your lights on you sensed something around so you were about to grab your gun but somebody grabs your wrist stopping you, you quickly try to elbow them but they block your attack shoving you into the wall and covered your mouth.

I could barely see the man’s face, “you could’ve died,” the prince says.

I squinted my eyes trying to see him He flicks the light switch on, and there he was, the prince,here, in your house. He slowly moved his hands from your mouth “how the hell you get in my house?” I question, “not that hard,” he said moving, “how the-how did you not get detected by my cameras?” Yougo to look at your phone and notice he turned the cameras off but suddenly they came back on, he chuckles. “What do you want prince? Got nun for ya,” you ask, “nothing” you raise a brow “so, you broke into my house for nothing?” He smirked, this man wanted something but he wanted you to play his game to figure it out, but due to it being late at night and you’re tired you don’t have time for games.

“So, y/n l/n, tell me, what is a person like you doing working with the avengers?” He asks.

“I’m not an avenger, I don’t work with them, I only help when I feel like I need to but other then that I’m a loner, if I’m not getting paid I’m not going to stay,” you tell him, you look at his necklace that look familiar to that ‘black panther’ suite calls it, you reached out to touch it curiously “why don’t you put the suite on?” You ask “unless you have a pair of spare clothes,” he said, your eyes widen in shock “so what, your naked under there?!” He chuckled, you shake your head amusingly “so prince, tell me about, this black Panther, what is it to your people?” You asks curiously.

He stares at your for a while in debate if he should trust you enough to tell you, he walks around a bit looking at your pictures you had on your walls, “the black Panther has been the protector of wakanda for many generations, the black Panther fights for the people of wakanda,” he begins, he stares at a picture of you and your late sister, “so this black Panther is a god?” You ask walking into the kitchen, he follows “goddess” he corrects “Bast has given us the black Panther to protect wakanda but the black Panther represents bast,” he said, “a goddess, she sounds beautiful,” you said with a little smirk, you were always curious about the many gods and goddesses that were worshipped in Africa, their culture was very unique and beautiful.

He tilts his head a bit squinting his eyes, “well maybe one day I’ll be privileged to see this, black Panther,” you said walking up to t’challa who watched your every move, “well maybe you can,” you chuckle you hands rubs against his covered chest going up and up “you are one mysterious woman,” he said, you pulled him down a bit to where both of your lips almost touched “I’m not that mysterious, you’re just not looking deep enough,” you whispered but what caught you off guard was when he kissed you, your eyes widen in shock, you were in complete disbelief but you kissed back anyways with your heart beating out of your chest, he pulls away chuckling.

“That’s what gets you to close your mouth hm?” You roll your eyes, “something else could,” you said before walking out the kitchen leaving t’challa mouth dropping catching what you meant.

A/N: idk if I was high making this Bkuss WHAT😭 I tried😭I tried

[that-darn-clown]

hello, i am in the mood to ramble about my Fnaf Rewrite, and i wanna just talk about it to someone instead of just making a post, so prepare yourself:

now, while the "official" (not really) title of this Rewrite is "Dandy's Interesting Fnaf Rewrite" (because i haven't thought of a name yet), it also has many unofficial titles, such as "William, For The Love Of FUCK Stop Traumatizing Michael (and your kids in general, but especially Michael)"

why is it called this? Have A List Of Shit William Put This Poor Guy Through:

y'know how Mother Gothel was in Tangled? tone her down a few notches and imagine she had actual "good" intentions with trying to protect Rapunzel. you've now got Rewrite!William post-the death of his wife. (his mindset: Paranoid About Your Children Also Dying? Simple! Just Manipulate And Emotionally Abuse Them Until They Associate Disobeying You With Very Negative Consequences! This Will Surely Not Backfire In Any Way!)

pretty much forced Mike to be the peacemaker/keeper in the household because William was too busy with other shit.

murdered Charlie, aka One Of Michael's Closest Friends/His Sister Figure. and he Then had to be one of the two people to discover her body after sneaking out to go to her party.

killed two of his friends' younger siblings, which fucked both of them up (especially Andrew, who was already in an abusive household and was basically blamed for his brother's death).

Literally Killed His Baby Brother In His Sleep And Then Lied To His Remaining Children About It.

decided to drag his children into working at Freddy's. y'know. The Place Where The Haunted Robots Kill The Employees At Night (x1)

did LITERALLY NOTHING while Jeremy was actively bleeding out from being bitten in the head, while Michael was having a panic attack and trying to get people to call an ambulance. the only comfort he gave Michael was a few pats on the back while waiting for paramedics and telling his Still Panicking son "I'm Sure He'll be Fine. Cassidy Was Fine" meanwhile Mike was dealing with Horrible Fucking Flashbacks from what happened to Cassidy. so y'know. The Reminders Were Not Appreciated At That Moment, Actually!

decided to drag his children into working at Freddy's. y'know. The Place Where The Haunted Robots Kill The Employees At Night (x2; Electric Boogaloo)

indirectly got Mike's older brother Alex killed by forcing him to continue working as a night guard, even after Alex said "Dad, I Think Cassidy Wants To Kill Me." YOU'LL NEVER FUCKING GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TWO DAYS LATER. AND WHO ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO DISCOVERED THE BODY WAS.

Literally Tried Killing Michael, Or At The Very least Tried To Force Michael To Stay In The Building With Him Despite Mike Very Much Not Wanting To Deal With Him.

Literally Tried Killing Him Again (Fnaf 3).

...And Again. After Stalking This Poor Guy, His Boyfriend, And Their Roommate For Two Years (Fnaf 6).

haunted Mike from the grave. specifically from hell (please William, he's trying to get therapy and raise his kids and be happy with his husband)

so yeah. Michael's having. A Bad Time. but he gets a pretty happy ending, regardless! he gets to be the one who technically burned William in the end!! good for him!!

Sweet boy michael... why is it so satisfying to angst that boi up? This is fucking rad as always, my love

[uenodivision]

Aranai's Thoughts on Niigata Division

Seiji Tsukimoto

Aranai groans at the picture of the police chief. "Oh great, the Chief of the fucking police, himself. As if having that cop from Kanazawa in this tournament wasn't bad enough!" Aranai sighs. "Thankfully, unlike that cop, this one doesn't know me, I don't think. I've done some work in Niigata, but I don't go there since most of my customers in Chubu hail from Nagoya, where that monk and his clique reside. Still, I suppose I'd better watch myself since another cop is snooping around. Ugh..."

Lyall Shiba

"Ha, this guy makes me laugh. Mainly because, for a cop, he's not too bad. And I'm not just saying that because Kaoru in Edogawa has got a thing for him. ...What? Surprised I know about it? Don't be! I mean, it's kinda obvious! Whenever the girls and I are out, she'll sometimes get a call on her cell phone. If it's this guy, Spider Girl's eyes will light up, she'll suddenly get red in the face and then excuse herself for a while.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not making fun of her anything! It's actually kinda cute seeing the resident hacker trip over herself for a guy! For a while there, I was worried I was going to have to do what I do to Sumire and find an excuse to get her and this guy a reason to meet each other. Thankfully, she's not as clueless or brainless as Sumire is and isn't afraid to take a leap!"

Ayumu Hayami

Aranai frowns at the photo of the paramedic. "I'm going to say this right now: I really don't like this guy. Why? Because more than once I've seen him here in Ueno. And it's not because somebody's sick or in danger of dying. No, the reason this guy is here in Ueno is because he's got a thing for Shisuta! ...Yeah, you heard me right! The paramedic is who a year away from being four decades old has a crush on a woman who is f'ing 13 years older than him! What the hell kinda shit is that? I'm not a lawyer like Boss Lady is, but I'm pretty sure dating someone who is a decade older than you is breaking some sort of rule. And if it isn't, then it needs to be! I'm telling you now, I'm keeping a close eye on this guy. If he does anything to Shisuta, they're going to have call a paramedic for him when I get through with him!"

Valor Guard

"Ugh, is Boss Lady asking more and more cops to join this rap tournament or something? Or do they just not have enough to do at the f'ing police station? Because there shouldn't be a reason for so many cops to be joining some rap tournament! I know not every team here is full of law-abiding citizens, but I didn't realize that meant that every cop and their brother needed to form a rap team to arrest them!

"Ugh, and knowing Boss Lady, she's gonna wanna form an alliance with these guys like the ones from Kanazawa. Ugh, hopefully, someone deals with them quickly. Either that, or they become too preoccupied with whomever they're chasing to deal with us..."

[elmo-is-a-forgotten-god]

TW: for sexual assault, death, and just in general.

I just wanted to say that this year has been rough which is why I haven’t been active as much on here as I’d like to be. So here’s a life update as to why life has been putting my through the ringer:

Firstly we have had to put 3 of our pets down in 4 months, we aren’t bad pet owners they were just all my childhood pets so they were getting very old.

All of these pets took a toll on me but last week we had to put down my cat, if you know me well you know that this cat is 17 years old meaning I’ve had her since I was less than a year old. She meant everything to me and she was super empathetic legitimately whenever anyone in the house would cry she would be there to comfort them. Especially me. This has been really hard for me and I expect it to get harder.

We also lost both of our dogs (the rescue and our Shiba Inu) both of which I loved dearly.

Another way this year has put me through the ringer is that last semester my roommate brought in a lot of random people we didn’t know, and just let them stay as long as they wanted even when we were in vulnerable positions. And as someone with a lot of trauma surrounding growing up in a homophobic town, hate crimes, being a victim of SA, and many other reasons, this made me really uncomfortable and I would have to force myself to stay awake even if I had a morning class the next day because I couldn’t fathom falling asleep with people I didn’t know in the room.

One of these people. Let’s call him J, have all of my other roommates and I incredibly bad vibes. And my roommate didn’t know anything about him, just met him in the elevator and told him to come up to our room and hang. Well he came up everyone in the room was immediately uncomfortable, then he had a seizure on our dorm floor. Since I was the only one that knew how to handle the situation, I had to hold him on his side while he was seizing and wait for the paramedics.

This is where it starts to get bad with J: 2 days after the prior incident with him, he comes back to our room unannounced and it is just me and my one roommate who invited him who decides to take a shower leaving me alone with this guy. He thanks me for helping him then offers me a drink (yes alcohol we are college students). And so the alcoholic I am I’m not gonna turn down free booze so I agree. Now I drink it (he drank from the same container prior to me so I thought it was safe) and then my head starts to feel a little fuzzy shortly after. And I am not a light weight so I immediately suspect I’ve been drugged but I’m not about to tell him that. I can push medication fast but this was hitting me. But I stayed awake and pulled out my knife which I hid under the blanket I was under. A while after my roommate gets out of the bathroom and I tell her “hey I wanna watch the kardashians” (I knew J couldn’t stand them from the limited interactions I’ve had) and J goes “guess that’s my cue to leave”.

I kind of brush this whole thing off because again at the time I only suspected I had been drugged I didn’t think much of it. 2 days after that we find out there was a guy drugging people on campus. Then suddenly we are getting texts from friends on campus we rarely talk to who had seen us with J. And I felt sick to my stomach. He had always acted really creepy around me and I’d I hadn’t been who I am, something worse might’ve happened and as someone who’s been a victim before it traumatized me. I sleep with a knife every night now.

Just overall a lot of shit is fucked up but I’m getting better.

[wikiangela]

911 lone star 4x05

it seems that the season is finally picking up, and this is my fave episode so far 😂

more thoughts and spoilers ahead!

jfc Rob Lowe is so good in comedic roles fr, I think that's why I enjoy Owen now, because he gets funny stuff 😂 that scene was so funny 😂

the boy calling about the math problem was so adorable, and Grace's reaction was even more adorable, she's so fucking cute I can't 😩😍😍 that smile with a nose scrunch??? 😍😍😍😍

"not a math whiz, just a math fan" SAME I love math, I miss it, why did I go study English at uni lmao

we should see more of the 911 dispatchers, like we do in the og - like, I'd love to at least learn like 3 names of something 🙄😂

ngl, I have no memory of this paramedic they're talking about 😂 (also, the music in this scene is kinda loud isn't it? like the drums or whatever? idk, it makes my head hurt lol)

waaait, I knew it was a more Marjan focused episode from the promo, but... someone complained about her to HR???? what the fuck about, she's a delight 😂

oh my god the lady from the mobile home?? over the word "crazy" when Marjan saved her life?? seriously?

we're focusing a lot on Linus, huh - I bet something bad is about to happen (clearly something's wrong with the mom, and I'm anxious waiting to see what haha)

jfc it was one stupid word, that people used to throw around at anything and anyone, jfc I don't wanna be one of those "why are people these days so sensitive" bitches but... she saved you life lady, leave her alone

I love seeing more Marjan but I feel so bad for her

I almost forgot about this dude since the beginning tbh, I'm enjoying this episode a lot haha - no idea what his deal is but it's stressing me out

I am loving getting more of the dispatch - if this is how this season continues, I might change my opinion about it (which is that this season is kinda whatever so far, but maybe just the first four episodes were bc this is good)

I kinda like Marjan and Owen's dynamic, this is fun (pls give me more Owen and TK tho, I miss them, and I'm always a sucker for a father son relationship 😂)

this couple is so ridiculous, jfc, Owen's right, how is that guy not in jail 😂 and they want her to post an apology for calling her "crazy"? and tag their gofundme? lady, you are fucking crazy 😂😂

they're blaming the fire department, aka people who rescued her life, for destroying their home??? that dude fucking took it - oh my god they're insane and it's infuriating but also kinda funny 😂

I love Grace and Judd and I missed them, we barely saw them the last couple of episodes haha (and Charlie is the most adorable baby 😍😍)

thank God for Grace and her instincts about what's happening, and that Judd nudged her to go over there right away

also, Tommy is amazing and I love her and her friendship with Grace

Paul "notices things" - I completely forgot about that because it hasn't been referenced since like s1 - pls give him an actual storyline that includes all aspects of him, including this superpower of his 😂

Paul and Marjan are one of my fave friendships, they're really ride or die's, I just love them (also, I just love the way Paul speaks if that makes sense? I'm weird about voices and cadence and pronunciation idk 😂)

sooo, Asha's sticking around, right? 😂 they wouldn't have her know Paul from way back when if they weren't starting something here right? 😂 I'm not complaining, pls give Paul a storyline, and if it's finally a good love interest, even better haha

I'm sorry, but making such a big deal over the word "crazy" is literally so ridiculous I can't help but laugh

nooo, don't tell me she's really leaving

I'm crying

not Nancy and Mateo being the parent friends 😭😂

like, she's not gone forever is she? I'm sure she'll be back eventually... right?

okay, promo: I am so excited for this bomber storyline, it seems more interesting than the first 4 episodes of the season (like, I loved the Carlos episode - 4x04 but like... eh)

so, I loved this episode, please tell me this is when the season picks up finally, I was finally engaged from the beginning until the end, and enjoyed all of it

I did miss Carlos, and he's my fave character, but also, like I mentioned a lot already, the tarlos storyline so far with Iris etc was so fucking boring and it took a lot of time in those first episodes (and it's crazy I'm even saying that because I always say to give Carlos all the screen time 😂) so it was nice to kinda have a break from them haha and I'm so glad we're over the whole FBI thing

now, I adore Grace and I loved her storyline this eps, it was great and interesting

I feel like Asha's gonna stick around and I'm excited if they're gonna do anything with her and Paul (or just fucking give Paul some more screen time ffs)

I loved that we got more of other dispatchers aside from Grace and please keep it up, I wanna know them like we know Josh and Sue and Linda, for them to be around you know? 😂

and Marjan.... I don't believe she left for good, and I don't wanna believe that, and I get her reasoning, because fuck those people, but also.... this was just so ridiculous, do people really get that offended over the word crazy? I know it's offensive or whatever but since when it's a slur? 😂

anyway, it was a great episode for Marjan, loved seeing her more and her struggle with this whole situation, and her and Owen actually have a great dynamic, wish we'd seen more of that (if they didn't give 90% of screen time to Owen alone 🙄 I like him but sometimes it's like.... there are people who are more interesting that I wanna find out about lol)

genuinely can't wait for the next one, and it's the first time this season I'm actually looking forward to the next episode, I hope it's gonna only get better now haha

[glassbugs]

im not ok about what we're gonna get IM NOT GONNA BE OKAYYY need to call paramedics early but im still gonna read it. im not ready at all for bill content lordddd 😭 my whole gf obsession had him as the epicenter but lately he got replaced w ford AND I CANNOT BE HAPPIER. MY LIFE IS FAR MORE PEACEFUL WHEN IM FIXATED ON THAT NERD THANKSSS 😭 the last time we got nasty bill shit is in october and it's just gonna send me straight back to that era I can'ttttt 💔 sorry for another yap but omg possessed ford is my guilty pleasure CUZ IT'S SO BAD BUT LOOKS SO COOL.... I don't really want ford like that i wanna bake him cookies and give him therapy and for HIS sake and betterment we can canoodle ❤️ IM GENTLE W IT cuz i don't reaaallyyy want him there's not that much desire behind it. but for bill im a plain pervert LIKE I KNOW HOW BAD IT ISSS but like....... im grown i should know better than to fall for a stupid evil triangle but alas 😭

as someone who was cheering you all from the sidelines i need to voice how good the raunchy parts were??? in itws?? I'LL NEVER FORGET THE MIND READING MACHINE PART THAT WAS SOOO ICONIC AND TWISTED and i was sitting in silence wide eyed like... NASTY DIRTY EVEN....but i heavy approve..... later on when ford came back and was cucked for some time and then when he got it he went CRAZY? distinctly remember "i can't be rough w you unless you tell me" IN ALIEN LANGUAGE YESSS LAWDDD HIHIH. and where do i even begin w stan? that man is the biggest tease EVERRRR he loved his wife the MOST. everytime he got us screaming and not just screaming but screaming his NAME...❤️ king absolute king i love him and he's even nastier bc u just KNOW he gives the nastiest backshots YEPPP ahhh i love them old men but in a normal way. in an overanalyzing way. I don't have any commentary about bill cuz he was just a nasty little bitch throughout the whole run EWWW GET HIM OUT OF THERE... and give him to me JKJK hahahaha.. regardless u write smut SO. GOOD. LIKE REALLY I LOOOVE WHEN U WRITE PERVS UGHH can't wait for the new fic

<3

Bill is such a weird little fuckin' creature man honestly I love those old men but he's the best character in the show. Like he was such a great villain because he's just a nasty little hedonist that does fucked up stuff for the hell of it (I'm a little salty about the recent addition of his 'tragic backstory' though because I feel like that kind of takes away from the fun of him?? Don't try to make me sympathize with the triangle that abused my favorite nerd and tried to end the world)

I don't know if I've said here yet or not but getting to write for a non PG-13 Bill is THE BEST. 💕 Possessed Ford scenes make me wanna eat dry wall I love them so much-

At least you get to hang out in the "I should know better than to fall for a stupid evil triangle" club with Ford 😔

THANK YOU SO MUCH THOUGH YOU'RE SO SWEET AAAAEUFHASDKJF I KINDA LOST MY SMUT MOMENTUM FOR A LITTLE WHILE BUT I'M SUPER EXCITED TO GET BACK INTO IT!! HOPE YOU LIKE THE DEBAUCHERY!!!