#if you see this and this does not evoke a horrible horrible feeling straight inside of ur heart well. ive just got to try harder now.

[return-of-the-vegetable]

[...] something feels missing from your life.

[kayteewritessteve]

Perfectly Perfect

Description: After a long few days at work, the love of your life helps you unwind. (A slightly Modern Office AU)

Masterlist HERE.

Word Count: 7,780 ish.

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader.

Rating: 18+ (is smut)

Warnings: Horrible smut. Be warned. No minors allow. Keep scrolling if you aren’t 18 years or older. Oh, and ‘unprotected’ sex, though reader has an IUD and mentions it. So you’ve now been warned.

Requested: Nah, this is my first ever attempt at smut. It’s long-winded and cringey as hell. Soooooo read it if you want, but be aware that it’s not very good at all. But I’m trying, and slowly learning, and the fact I finally managed to actually write any smut at all, even horrible smut, is huge for me. Baby steps.

A/N: I sadly don’t own any of these characters. And no beta reader, so I do proudly own all the errors and this story, so there’s that.

Final warning y’all. Turn back now. This isn’t good. It’s basically horribly written, long-winded, comfortable fluff with a slight hard fucking, if you reeeeally squint. So yeah. Ugh. I’m so damn awkward. Aaaanywho! Good luck! May the odd be ever in your favour, and all that jazz!

You released a deep, exhausted breath as your eyes dropped down to read the time on the bottom right hand corner of your monitor's screen. 7:02pm. Only 2 hours passed your ‘normal’ end time, though over the last few months, you’d been putting in a lot of overtime. Far more than was normal, and it seemed lately, like 7 was the new 5.

You sigh as you lean back in your chair, bringing your hands up to rub the heels of them into your eyes. No longer worried about your mascara, as it was probably long gone by now, what with how many times you’d rubbed your tired eyes today, already. You decided it was probably time to head home, your brain was done for the day, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything more tonight. At least not without lots of errors, and then having to just waste more time tomorrow redoing most of that very same work. Work smarter, not harder. That was the motto you lived by.

So with that last thought, you leaned forward and powered down your computer, clicking the soft button on the side of your monitor to put it to rest as well. Then you pulled open the bottom drawer of your desk, retrieving your purse from within and placing it on the top of your desk, as you slipped back into your heels. The ones you’d removed hours ago to give your poor feet a much needed reprieve.

Once they were firmly, and achingly, back in place, you stood up and removed your jacket from the back of your chair. Slipping it on and pulling your hair out from within it, before hitting the forward to voicemail button on your desk phone. If anyone were to phone after you left, it would go straight to voicemail now, saving them the moment or two of just useless ringing.

You then grabbed your purse and phone off your desk, and made your way towards the office door. Opening it once you reached it and flicking off the overhead lights, as you slipped into the hallway. Promptly closing the door behind you once you fully reached the hall. Your eyes instinctively glanced across the corridor, seeing that Steve’s door was slightly ajar, and his lights were still on, so clearly he’d been working late, just as you had been. But that was nothing new.

If you had to pick any words to describe yourself, hard-working would be near the top of that list, if not at the very top. You always took your job seriously, and did everything in your power to be efficient, reliable and focused. But yet, that man, he always seemed to one up you. You thought you were a crazy workaholic. Ha! Perish the thought! That man, he was the very definition of the words. You’d never met anyone more hardworking than yourself, until you walked through these office doors for the first time, and were introduced to the enigmatic Steven Grant Rogers.

Though he didn’t stay a mystery for long, after only a week, you had him pretty much entirely figured out. Or so you thought at the time, at least. Sweet, thoughtful, charming, hard-working to a fault, intensely intelligent with a quick wit and the deep voice of an angel, all things that had made your knees weak and your heart flutter just from being in the same room as him. But then having his full attention on you, and only you, made your whole body heat up, your mind turn to mush, and your palms clam up, instantly. Every time.

It took a few more weeks after that to level yourself out around him, to just acclimatize yourself to the sheer force of being in the presence of this perfect specimen of a man. And you hadn’t even mentioned his exterior yet, you’d only vaguely touched on what he was packing on the inside. His outside was, well shit, it was also sheer perfection in and of itself.

He was all hard lines of pure stone wrapped deliciously in tantalizingly unmarred golden skin. He was a beautiful tall, broad and rippling form to behold. What with his wide shoulders, trim waist, and thighs that could draw most people's eyes and keep them trapped for eternity. You being the owner of one of those mentioned set of eyes.

So yeah, he was utter perfection in a lovely and large package. It was wholly unfair, if anyone asked you, that a man could look, act and just be that flawless, that sublime. You instantly needed to find some fault in him, you begged the God’s above to have given him some sort of flaw, there was just no way anyone could be that unequaled. That utterly perfect. It was not fair to the rest of the human population. Not even a little bit.

No one could, or should, be that glorious. But over the last 5 years of working here, with him, you’d learned early on that he was perfection in the human form. And even when you did finally track down his faults, his ‘flaws’, they weren’t even that bad. They didn’t even nick the lovely shell around him, they couldn’t even scrape or mar his lovely exterior, in any way, shape or form.

The contradiction of that, if you’re honest. His flaws made him even more perfect to you, made him even more sublime than he’d originally appeared at first glance. Because they made him more relatable, more human, just all around more. And knowing he had a few little flaws did nothing to quell your thoughts towards the man. They stood to only heightened them actually.

You shake your head, banishing the warm belly and heart pace inducing thoughts, knowing you couldn’t walk into his office to say your daily goodbyes, with the dang heart eyes your latest thoughts had evoked in you. That man could read anyone like a dang book, and after 5 years of being his personal assistant, you couldn’t hide a single thing from his all-seeing eyes. He just knew you too well now, too fully and completely.

You venture across the hall, towards his slightly ajar door and knock lightly as you push it open. And the heart eyes nearly returned as you are graced with the image of his large form wrapped to perfection in his dark grey suit. The suit appearing as if it was a second skin, tailored to his whole form perfectly. And damn, you sure do use that word, in all its forms, a lot in regards to him. But he is ‘Perfect’, and there just isn’t any better word to use in his case. There is no other words better suited to him, then just pure perfection.

He sits behind his large dark wood desk, reading glasses rested effortlessly upon the straight bridge of his perfect nose. His brows furrowed just so, in perfectly focused thought, as he types rapidly upon his keyboards keys. Most likely finishing up a report, or replying to an urgent email, either or, it doesn’t really matter. Nor does it take away from, or effect, the beauty of the image before you.

The first time you ever saw him with his black framed reading glasses on, you damn near swooned yourself into a puddle on his office floor. Something about a handsome man of his caliber, wearing glasses as he focused his attention on a computer monitor or the papers clasped within his large, tanned and veiny hands, just did things to you. Made you a fluttery and warm mess of a thing.

Ugh, you really need to focus here. You came in here to say your goodbyes, not eye fuck your oblivious boss from the shadows of his doorway.

“Hey,” you softly say, not wanting to startle him as you take a small step further into the room. “I’m heading out now, did you need anything else before I leave for the day?”

His eyes flick up to meet yours, and he gives you that gloriously perfect half smile he’s become so famous for. It isn’t a broad or large smile, by any means, it’s subdued and just a quirk up of the corners of his perfect lips. Did you forget to mention his pump and pillowy lips in your rambling internal exposé on the man before you? Oh, well, that was your bad entirely, as his lips were the second best feature upon his perfect face.

They were only second to those stunning deep blue eyes, the ones that currently held you trapped, and showed more emotion and compassion within them than you ever thought possible. You’d always heard or read about being able to read one's true feelings through their eyes, but you’d never been able to relate to those sentiments before, at least not until you met the Adonis before you. He didn’t hide a thing, and you believed he had not one damn thing to hide, even if he’d wanted to. He left it all out in the open where his eyes were concerned, it made it all the more easier to get to know him. To figure out his true being and personality. To determine what he liked, disliked, and found amusing. His eyes told every tale, used more words then his lips could even fathom. Everything personal you knew of this man, you’d learned from the beautiful blue gateways to his soul.

“Uh,” he hummed thoughtfully as he glanced down at his watch momentarily, and you didn’t miss the slight widening of his perfect blues when he realized the time. His eyes flicked back up to trap you once more as he leaned back on his seat and gave you his full and undivided attention. Just as he always did with everyone. He always made his employees and coworkers feel like the center of his little world, for however long they were gifted the pleasure of being in his presence. “I didn’t even realize how late it was,” he said before he bestowed upon you a small taste of his gloriously deep chuckle. “I’ll be heading out shortly myself, so everything else can wait till tomorrow.”

“Okay,” you nodded, a small chuckle leaving your lips now, “try not to overwork yourself too much. You need to eat and get at least a few hours of sleep tonight, as you have an 8:30 am conference call tomorrow.”

His smile grew just a fraction, as he crossed his large arms over his broad chest. He always got a small kick out of you mothering him. “I know, and don’t worry, I’ll set an alarm for myself and leave the second it goes off.”

“Please ensure that you do,” you smiled sweetly to offset the slight commanding tone that you’d just used on your boss. “You can’t push yourself too hard, or you’ll be dead on your feet tomorrow. And then you’ll be no use to any of us.”

He chuckled again, a little louder this time, and your mind tried desperately to lock the lovely sound away for your enjoyment for all of eternity. Then he unfolded his arms, picked his phone up off the desk and gave it a few moments attention, before you heard the distinct click of it being locked, and then he placed it back down on the desk and glanced up at you once again. “There, the alarm is all set.”

You valiantly fought the giant grin that wanted to show itself to the cheeky but perfect man before you, however you only managed to contain it to the form of a small uptick of the corners of your mouth. “Good. I swear you work too hard sometimes. You make the rest of us look bad.”

He mimicked your small smile, “I don’t think I could ever do that.” His words made your heart flutter, but only just a little, and you’d never admit it aloud. A soft ping sounded around the quiet room and his eyes drifted back to the monitor’s screen for a few seconds before looking back to you. “Okay, get outta here before we both start living in this office,” he said sweetly, with a slightly stern edge. You both knew far too well how easily you could lose track of time and space, and end up here till midnight, or even later, before either of you even realized it. “And thanks for staying so late again, Y/N.” His smile turned slightly knowing, “I’m sure you have better things to do with your time than be here finishing off reports for me.”

You swatted away his concerned words as if they were a pesky fly in the air. “It’s fine. Really. All I have scheduled for tonight is making dinner for the man I love, and then I plan to happily sleep the night away.”

He nodded, a small smile upon his lips once again as he leaned forward and his eyes focused back on his monitor. “Sounds like a lovely night. He’s a lucky guy.”

“That he is,” you hummed in agreement, biting your lip to suppress your chuckle. With one nod of your head, you turned and stepped back towards the door to the hallway, “Goodnight, Boss.”

And just as you reached the door, his voice drifted into your eyes once more. “Goodnight, PA.”

Those were the two nicknames you both joking called each other. The nicknames you’d started using years ago, after he’d insisted on you calling him Steve early on in your job, but calling him by his first name just hadn’t seemed appropriate at the time. You couldn’t get over the unprofessional feel of using his first name as if you were his friend, or something of the like. He was your boss, but he hated being called ‘Mr. Rogers’. He said it made him feel like an older man in a sweater, talking to dolls on a train.

So, you’d jokingly called him Bossman one day years ago, and over time it shortened to just ‘Boss’. But he wasn’t really a fan of that either, so in return, just to joke back with you, he’d referred to you as ‘PA’, and that nickname had just sort of stuck as well. Though he only ever used it in reply to your use of ‘Boss’.

You giggled quietly to yourself as you exited the office, pulling the door back to it’s slightly ajar spot as you did.

You step through the front door into your quiet apartment, the one you share with the only man you’ve ever truly loved. The lights are all off, and there isn’t a sound anywhere within the still space. But you knew he wasn’t home yet, and you preferred it that way. It gave you a moment of quiet time to yourself, to get out of your tight work clothes and start in on dinner before he walked through the very same door you were closing softly with a click of the lock.

After removing your coat and hanging it on the hooks beside the door, you remove your heels to allow your achy feet a much needed break from their confines.

You wiggled your toes, and stretched your feet out before planting them upon the cold hardwood floors and making your way through the quiet apartment. Reveling in the few moments of peace it awarded your mind, before your love got home. As once he did, he’d fill the quiet space with his soft recounts of his day, the goings on in his little world, and his inquisitive questions about your own day.

Moving into the kitchen, you flick on the soft pendant lights above the island and place your purse atop it, before turning to set the stove to begin warming it to the proper temp. Then you move to the fridge and pull out the premade meal from within, the one you’d put together at the beginning of the week for this exact day. Pre-prepped meals at the beginning of every week, usually made on lazy Sunday afternoons, was the only way you’d ever be able to continue to eat properly, and not just succumb to quick junk food on the fly.

Your work hours, just as your boyfriends, were always a little crazy and long, and so spending hours prepping a meal every night was not an option for either of you. Instead, you both picked a few meal ideas on Sunday, and then together you’d get everything prepped and packaged and put away in the fridge, before spending the evening cuddled up on the couch and watching a movie with a glass or two of wine. Needing that relaxing few hours to prepare you both for the craziness of the work week ahead.

After placing the packages for tonight's dinner on the counter, you quickly send off a text to your boyfriend, to inform him of your safe arrival home. Then you made your way to the bedroom to change into something more comfortable and wash off any remaining makeup. Whatever was even still left after the countless rubs and presses of your hands throughout the day.

You pulled out a pair of comfy pj shorts and a fitted tank top from your dresser drawer, placing them on the made up bed before moving into the bathroom. You quickly took a makeup removing wipe to your skin, thoroughly cleansing the surface before lathering on your nightly moisturizer and heading back into the bedroom. You pulled the dress shirt up and out from the waist of your pencil skirt and started in on the buttons, going from top to bottom in an effortless and perfected way. One that could only come from years of doing this exact action, over and over and over again.

Once the shirt was open, you slipped it down your arms and placed it neatly atop the bed, before moving on to the zipper on the back of your dark grey fitted pencil skirt. But just as your nimble fingers grasped the dainty zipper, two large warm hands met yours and you jumped a little at the contact.

But then a soft and soothingly deep voice whispered into your ear, warm breath caressing the cooled skin of your neck as it washed over you. “Here, let me.”

You smiled as you glanced over your shoulder at the beautiful man behind you, the one you loved more than anything or anyone else. And the very one that despite his sheer size, always managed to sneak up on you. You hadn’t even heard the door unlock, nor it being opened and closed to allow him entry into the suite. Nor the sounds of him removing his jacket and shoes, or even hearing the telltale sounds of his keys and wallet meeting the bowl on the entryway table.

He was always a damn ninja, and you really shouldn’t have even jumped at the initial contact. You should be entirely used to him sneaking up on you by now, but yet, you weren’t, and you believed you never would be.

You nod your approval of his offer, as your eyes drink him in, in all his end of the busy work day glory. His deft fingers make short work of the task, and you realize that he is just as familiar and perfected in the action of undressing you, as you are. Maybe he is even a little better at it than you, having found yourself at the mercy of his lustful and enraptured hands many times. All the times he’d expertly and delicately—though sometimes, on special occasions, they were fumbly and forceful as they—removed every article of clothing keeping your full form hidden from his heated gaze.

Once the zipper met the end of it’s line, his fingers hooked into the waistband and slowly pushed the stretchy material down your hips where it then plummeted unchallenged to the floor below. Leaving you just in your matching black lace bustier and panties, only a few small areas of your body still hidden from his view. But as his large, warm hands found your hips and turned you to meet his intense eyes fully, you instantly realized those small areas wouldn’t be hidden for much longer. Not if the hungry twinkle in his eyes was anything to go off of at the moment.

His hands slipped behind you, his arms encompassing your waist as his gaze drifted down and back up, before he pulled you towards him, and gently crushed your small body into his much larger, more robust one. “New?” He asked in a deep and curious tone.

You smirked knowingly up at him, “they are. What do you think?”

He leaned back a little, just enough to check out the newly acquired delicate lace set once more. And as he did, your hands landed on his pecs, loving the warmth of him and using it to take the chill out of your fingers. Once his eyes had finished their thorough re-inspection, they flicked up to meet yours and you nearly shivered at the immense desire pooling within them now. “I think you should never wear anything else, ever again.”

You chuckled, your hands sliding up his chest to delve into his lusciously soft locks. “I don’t think my boss would approve of this as appropriate work attire around the office.”

He smirked down at you, nodding slowly, “mmm, you’re probably right about that. I’m sure he wouldn’t approve at all. Especially with all the people you have to meet with throughout the day.”

“Yes, and he’d probably even force me to remain hidden away in my office, the whole entire day,” you gasp playfully. “How will I live without being able to get a coffee from the break room?!”

He chuckles, “I’m sure he’d willingly bring you a coffee whenever you needed one, if it meant he could witness the masterpiece that is you in this damn set.” His finger hooked into the elastic waist of your panties and pulled it away from your skin slightly before he released it, causing a gentle snapping sound to play out in your ears. As if the noise was to affirm the words he just spoke.

“No, he isn’t like that. He’s a completely respectful and professional man,” you grin up at him. “I’m more willing to bet he’d offer me his suit jacket, just to ensure my modesty stayed at least slightly intact.”

“I dunno, that might make it worse,” he hums, as a small smirk plays on his lips now. “I’m picturing you in just this and a large suit jacket, and the image alone is killing me. He’d probably die on the spot.”

“Should we find out?” You playfully question as your hands slip from his hair and back down his chest, moving under the edges of your boyfriend's suit jacket and slowly slipping the material off his broad shoulders and down his arms. He assists you as you go, helping to fully remove the jacket and then you take it in one hand and step back, his hands reluctantly drifting from your skin as you go. Then you flip the jacket around you, and slide the sleeves onto your arms, before settling the jacket on your shoulders and gripping the lapels to adjust the placement.

Once it’s all set in place, your eyes flick back up to meet his from below your lashes and find they aren’t looking into yours anymore. His eyes are hungrily roving over your entire form, and that fact alone causes your belly to warm up and your heart to pick up its pace. The things just having this man's eyes on you, can do to you, is wholly unfair.

His eyes finally meet yours, and you notice instantly that they have darkened dramatically now. Looking more black than their usual perfect colour at the moment. “Yup, just as I thought,” he nods, and you don’t miss his thick swallow, his Adam's Apple bobbing from the sheer force of it. “This is much, much worse. He’d never be able to keep his hands off of you, and then we’d really have a problem.”

You glance down at the floor between you both, tucking a few errant strands of hair behind your ear coyly, as you whisper, “maybe I don’t want him to keep his hands off me.” Your eyes flick back up to his, giving him the best doe-eyed look you can muster, as your voice comes out a little louder, but yet, just as soft, just as sultry as before, “maybe I want him to touch me, everywhere. Anywhere.”

A soft groan echoes in your boyfriend's solid chest, so soft you almost didn’t catch it. And at that sound, he surges forward, his hands pushing the jacket from your shoulders before they find your hips again, as he effortlessly lifts you off your feet. Your legs quickly go around his waist, to rest on his narrow hips and your arms encircle his neck, just to help him hold you up. Though it’s not like he actually needs the help.

His lips crash into yours, and you couldn’t miss the neediness of the action, even if you tried. You meet his need head on, returning it in full force to show you are feeling the exact same way he is at the moment.

He takes a few stumbly and blind steps to the bed, and before you know it, you're being deposited upon the pillowy surface with a small gasp. He chuckles quietly at your reaction, and then his large hands grip your waist and pull you forcefully towards the edge, before he places a knee between your legs and leans over you just enough to slip one large hand behind your back. As the other presses into the bed beside your head. His deft fingers make short work of your bustiers clasps, thanks to you arching your back to help his hasty endeavour.

His hand slips around to the front of you, his fingers caressing your ribs as they go, before he grabs the front of the only thing covering your upper half, and pulls it away from your chest and down your arms, then discards it somewhere over his shoulder. It’s final resting place being the very last thing your mind cares about in this moment. As now his hands are moving down your sides, his fingers slipping into the waistband of your panties and helping them go the same way as the bustier; slipped from your form and flung carelessly over his shoulder to the floor behind.

Once you are fully bared to his intense gaze, he stands back up and gives your whole body another once over. His eyes only darken more as he goes, and you didn’t even think that was possible. He keeps his eyes slowly moving over you, as his fingers undo the belt around his waist, then the button and zipper of his suit trousers. And once that is accomplished he pulls the white shirt out, and you prop yourself up on your elbows for a better view of what’s about to come.

You only catch a small glimpse of the smirk on his lips, before your hungry eyes are all too focused on the slow movements of his masterful fingers. Oh the glorious things those thick digits can do. You know first hand how truly spectacular they really are, at both unraveling clothes, and you.

Just as he finishes off the last button, you can’t hold yourself back any more. Just watching him, as he undresses before you with his eyes locked on your naked body is driving you insane. He is just taking too damn long, he is thoroughly teasing you right now, and the smirk still on his lips tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing to you.

You push up off the bed and move to the edge, grabbing the waist of his pants and yanking him forcefully towards you, mumbling, “get over here already,” as you do.

He chuckles and obliges to your hasty demand, but you only know that because if he didn’t want to move, there is nothing you could do or say to change that. He is like a damn brick wall when he wants to be. Your fingers take no time at all to slip into the waistband of his pants and boxers, grasping them both and pulling them down to free him from their confines. He barely manages to get his dress shirt off his upper half, before you’ve completely exposed his entire lower half.

Your eyes drink in his newly naked form, starting from his face, moving down his broad shoulders, his defined chest, his chiseled abs, the glorious V lines leading directly to his—you gasp quietly the second your eyes land on his perfect cock, all hard, upright and entirely ready for you. Yes, you’ve seen it hundreds of times before, but yet you always manage to forget just how large and intimidating it truly is. Even after many, many times of having it deep within your walls, you still have a slight moment of hesitation at the sight of it. Fear that maybe this time, it won’t actually fit.

But you know it will, you tell yourself it will at least, and that it will feel heavenly as it does. You swear, up and down, that he was made to fit you perfectly. In every single way.

You quickly stand, grabbing his hips and spinning him before you push him down to sit on the edge of the bed. Exactly where you just were, and once he is settled down, you drop down to your knees and rest your hands upon his. Your eyes finally, reluctantly, leave the impressive appendage between his thick thighs, as they flick them up to lock with his. You hold the direct contact as you slowly, so damn slowly, move your hands up his powerful thighs, to his hips, then inwards and slowly up his rock solid stomach, over the groves of his abs, to his defined pecs and then to around his neck.

You slip your fingers into his hair again and pull him down to you, molding your lips to his, perfectly. His tongue traces the seam of your lips and you are all too willing to grant him access to any part of you that he so wishes. You part your lips and his tongue delves into your mouth, causing a soft moan to echo in your throat. And the sound only stands to spur him onwards.

His arms wrap around you, and you had planned to taste him, to get him entirely ready for you using just your mouth alone, but his patience seems to be gone now. He doesn’t want to wait any longer as he pulls you up to straddle his waist. One of his large hands grabs the back of your neck, to keep your lips glued to his, while the other splays out on your lower back, pressing your aching and needy core down onto the solid and hot product of his arousal. The very reason you’re core is even needy to begin with.

You grin into the kiss as you get a wicked idea, and begin to move yourself against him. Which causes him to inhale sharply, before groaning out at the delicious feel of you rubbing yourself thoroughly along his entire length.

“Fuck,” he breaths out, gripping your hair a little tighter, and helping your movements with strategic presses on your lower back. “You have no idea how badly I wanted to do this all day, today.”

“Oh?” You question innocently, as you pull back enough to look down at him. “Thought about this a few times today, did you?”

He gives you a pointed, but still completely heated look. One that reads of his need to have you, his need to claim you entirely for himself. His craving to make you his once again, just as he has many, many times before. The same craving needs you are all too aware are probably playing upon your features, as well. Mirroring his deep desires right back at him.

“You know I did,” he says in such a throaty tone, it sends a shiver down your spin, as he shakes his head. “You wore that damn pencil skirt today to tease me, didn’t you?”

You fight the smirk begging to form and shrug your shoulders instead, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But you do, you totally do. Because you totally did wear it to tease him.

He narrows his eyes knowingly at you, and before you can even comprehend what is going on, your entire world flips and you find yourself pinned to the bed. The larger than life form of your boyfriend hovering over you now.

“I’m sure you don’t,” he hums lowly as he grinds himself roughly against you, ripping a loud moan from deep within you; about as deep as you’re hoping he’ll be soon enough, if he would just hurry the hell up already.

“Steve,” you whine breathlessly.

And that is met with that damn smirk again, the ass. “Yes, my love?”

“Hurry it up already, I still have to put dinner,” your words abruptly end there when he grinds the length of him against you once more.

He chuckles, but then one large hand cradles the back of your head, gripping your hair tightly, as the fingers of the other dig deliciously into your hip. But only for a moment, before his fingertips slide delicately down your thigh, to grip the back of your knee, and pull your leg up to hook onto his hip. And then in one smooth, but hasty movement, he thrusts himself deep within you.

And you gasp at the sudden intrusion, the overwhelming feeling of being entirely too full and filled. A glorious shiver rips up your spin, as he stays perfectly still for a moment, giving you a chance to settle around him, around his sheer size. Your mind reminds you that your earlier fears were, once again, entirely wrong. Of course he’d fit within you perfectly, he always did. You were made to fit him, just as he was made to fill you.

“Fuck. You feel so fucking good,” he praises, his voice hoarse and thick with his desire.

Your arms wrap around him, as your hands grip tightly to his shoulder blades. And when you can’t take the lack of movement any longer, you begin to rock your hips against him in any effort to increase the pleasure you’re currently feeling. He gets the hint quickly, and pulls back, almost leaving you entirely, before he snaps his hips forward and buries himself deep within you once again.

You clench your eyes shut and moan at the delicious sensations starting to take over your entire body from his knowing and thoroughly practised and perfected movements, and before long he is picking up his pace. Driving into you at an alarming rate, but it’s exactly the way you like it. And with every tantalizing drag of his hard cock along your inner walls, every delicious push and pull of his long and girthy length, the coil deep within your lower half begins to tighten. His hand grips your thigh, searching for any purchase he can find, and alternating between forcefully firm squeezes and gentle caresses of his fingertips along your flushed and heated skin.

“Open your eyes, Doll. Look at me,” he commands.

And he doesn’t have to tell you twice, your eyes snap open and lock with his, as you scrap your nails down his back, before your hands settle on his perfectly round ass. Gripping the plump globes firmly on every inward thrust, helping to push him deeper within you with each one. You want more—no, you need more.

“Faster, baby,” you plead, smacking his ass just enough to create one sharp cracking sound to echo around the room, and to help spur him on further. He loves when you do that, almost as much as you do.

His lips crash into yours, now claiming every part of you that he can with his hand, his lips and his cock. Turns out the smack worked exactly as you’d hoped it would, as he picks up his pace even further. Slamming into you relentlessly now, and causing your muscles to begin to tighten up as you near your first peak, and the free fall to follow it.

He groans, as his lips leave yours and begin to travel down to your jaw, then to your neck, leaving a hot trail of marks in their wake. And you are so close now, so fucking close.

“Oh God, almost there,” you mutter breathlessly, the words barely above a whisper. Even in your hazy mind, you know there is no point in telling him that. He knows your body well enough by now to know how truly close you actually are.

With a few more powerful thrusts, you are sent tumbling over the edge as your entire body locks up and you let out a loud moan followed by just muttering his name, over and over and over again. As if he’s fucked you so good, so thoroughly, that it’s the only word you know now, the only one you will ever say again.

“Fuck,” he groans, as he continues to pound into you mercilessly throughout your release, shaking slightly as he battles to fight himself from joining you over the cliff’s edge. And you know as your walls flutter and squeeze around him, fully and entirely, that he has to put a solid effort into fighting the urge to finish with you. But his continued movements only stand to drag this all out for you even longer, only stands to make this all that much better just for you. And as you finally start to come down for the high of the feelings he just instilled within you, you instantly feel empty, and cold.

You almost whine until he presses one more deep kiss on your lips and then you feel him forcefully flip your dazed form onto your stomach. Gripping your hips and pulling them up into the air, as he positions himself behind you. He rubs himself against your folds a few times, teasing you just a little before he slides fully back in, in another quick thrust.

And before you know it, he’s picked up the pace once more. You thought he was relentless before, but oh boy, how wrong you were, that was nothing compared to his forceful movements now. Your hands grip the bedding as you bounce yourself back into him, matching him thrust for thrust.

“Oh shit, Steve,” you gasp. “Right there. Right fucking there.”

His fingers dig into your hips, as he leans forward over you, and kisses between your shoulder blades. The action not hindering his pace in any way, shape or form. “God,” he groans again. “The things you fucking do to me.”

“The feelings fucking mutual,” you quickly say between shaky breaths, and you meant every damn word. The things this man does to you, the feelings he evokes within you, it’s all too much and yet, not enough. You feel that delicious coil deep within you start to tighten up once more, and you can’t wait for it to snap all over again.

His thrusts start to get a little sloppier, as his fingers dig further into the skin of your hip, and you’re positive there will be marks there for at least the next few days. But you don’t care. You can’t bring yourself to give a single fuck at the moment. You just want to feel his release, to experience your second one of the night.

One of his hands leaves your hip, and slips between your legs, his experienced fingers locating your little bundle of nerves, and making quick work of finding the perfect pace that gets you every damn time. Then with a few more powerful and deep drags of his full length along your walls, partnered with the delightful circles on your clit, you are shoved off the cliff's edge once again.

A loud cry rips from your lips as you feel him release along with you, filling you up so damn perfectly, and sending a shutter through you at the feeling of his hot spurts deep within you. Thank God for your IUD, as this is one of your favourite feelings in the world and you can’t do the condom thing with him anymore. You just can’t. Nothing beats the feel of his bare skin within yours, or of his warm release filling you so fully and completely. Just as his cock always does.

He groans deeply in your ear before he slumps to his side, bringing you along with him as he stays buried deep inside your core. His arms wrapping around you and cuddling you up against the heated and tacky skin of his chest. You both take a moment to come back down, allowing your heart rate and breathing to slow.

After a few moments his hand moves the disheveled hair from your shoulder, and his plump lips meet the soft skin below your ear. “You aren’t allowed to wear that damn skirt to work ever again,” he whispers against your skin.

“Oh, and why not, Boss?” You ask innocently, knowing full well exactly why, but wanting to hear him say the words.

He nips your skin lightly at the use of that silly nickname, “because I can’t handle the way it fits you like a second skin. Every time you enter my office, all I want to do is rip the damn thing off you, and take you on my desk, but I know I can’t.”

“You can’t?” You inquire playfully, turning to glance over your shoulder at him. But you know full well that you both agreed to keep your relationship entirely out of the office. From an outside and unknowing eye, no one would be able to tell you both had been together for years. You agreed in the very beginning to keep your relationship to non-work hours only, and being the workaholics you both are, it’s worked perfectly for you ever since. Most of your coworkers don’t even know you are a couple, or that you live together, and let alone that you own this apartment together for the last year and a half.

“You know exactly why I can’t,” he says knowingly behind you. Then he slips out from within you, leaving you with that depressingly empty and cold feeling once again, but you ignore it as you shift to turn around and face him. Pressing a soft kiss against his lips once you do.

You hum, nodding, “that I do, but don’t expect me to never wear that skirt again.” You pull back and grin up at him cheekily, “It’s one of my favourites, and the way you look at me when I’m wearing it is just far too enjoyable to stop.”

He groans, playfully, shaking his head, “tease.”

“I may be a tease,” you agree, shrugging as nonchalantly as you can, but the growing grin on your lips gives away your cheeky next words, “but I always make up for it after hours.”

“You do have a point there,” he agrees and gives you a beautiful smile, before leaning in to kiss you once again.

But just as his lips meet yours, a loud buzzer goes off and you jerk away from him. “What the hell was that?”

He chuckles as he pecks your lips once more and reluctantly pulls himself out of the bed. “Dinner. I put it in when I first got home and set the timer.”

You chuckle at the knowledge that you’d missed a bunch more noises upon his arrival home. How the hell hadn’t you heard any of that? Damn, might be time to get your ears checked out soon. You glance up at him, “you’re utter perfection, you know that?”

“I know,” he smirks smugly, before he laughs at himself, shaking his head at his antics as he picks up his discarded boxers and heads towards the bathroom to clean himself up.

“And oh so very humble too,” you playfully reply with an eye roll, before you watch his glorious ass move into the small room, not missing the light red outline of four little fingers on his right cheek. You giggle softly to yourself before you release a deep contented sigh as you just continue to lay there, in perfect after sex bliss.

When he reemerges, only wearing low sitting boxers, you almost drool all over yourself. He walks over to the dresser, grabbing a fresh pair of panties for you, and then collects your discarded pjs off the floor near the end of the bed, before he heads to your side and places them down next to you. He leans over you, kissing you sweetly and then whispers, “though if either of us is utter perfection here, it’s definitely you.”

You giggle again, gently pushing him away by his shoulders, “flatterer.”

“I only speak the truth,” he hums and quickly pecks your lips once more, then he takes your hands and gently helps you out of bed. “I’ll go deal with dinner while you get cleaned up.”

“Sounds perfect,” you smile, stealing one more kiss before you collect your clothes and head for the bathroom, desperately needing an after sex pee. Because, ya know, nobody wants a UTI. You laugh to yourself softly at that last thought as you slip into the bathroom, your eyes glancing over your shoulder to catch one more glimpse of the perfect man you love. And your breath hitches at just the mere sight of him half naked, just like it has many, many times before. And probably will many, many more times in the future.

Because regardless of what he says or believes, he is the true perfection within this relationship. Even with his flaws, faults and blemishes, you wouldn’t change a damn thing about him.

Because he is just so Perfectly Perfect.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Tagging my errythang list, not sure if all of you will be interested in this. So just ignore this is you aren’t down for horrible smut 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️

@caps-lockdown @itsstillnotwhatyouthink @tfandtws @boxofteenageideas @wangdeasang @giggleberts @strawberry-gothchild @theonelittleone @agentbadbitch @ratwrites @starrystellars @bandsandanimefreak @rockyroadthepastryarchy @lovvliies @cuffski @icesoccerer @alwaysright4 @lilsthethrills @steeeeverogers @zombiepotterfour @mu-mu-rs @ledandan1244 @straightforwardly @denzmallows @xremember-me-notx @gwynethjodie @lollipopdomination @capstopavenger @jemimah-b99 @rcvenqers @justkending @alagalaska @silent-loucidity @sabertooth-potato @pies-wands-and-more @gabriella69816 @phantom-soilder @wordlesscaptain @captain-hammer-of-asgard @starstucknature @viarogers @pixieferry @kaithezaftig @the-kinkiest-goblin @hysterically-original @badassbeckettswan @heyiamthatbitch @zlixlle @capsicledoll @givemehopenfandoms @pretendingandpreposterous @frozen-phoenix17 @emotionallysalty @saturngirlz @atomicsludgedonutbiscuit @ivannagotthebeat @bohemian-barbie @marvelous-capsicle @steverogersxreader @cjhorseback @jasminecalia @secondstar2disney @jessiedaeum @betsynodak @capricornprince118 @just-ladyme @pinkleopardss @drayshadow @sister-of-stars @wiserebelpartypie @dark-night-sky-99​ @patzammit​ @cs-please @troublermalik @bratstopmom @anika-ann @wxstedhexrt​ @rynabarnesrogers @ab-baybay @scentedsongrebel @captainchrisstan @kelbabyblue @fckdeusername @murdermornings @dreamlesswonder86 @intricate-melody @fiannaofficial @jeremyrennermakesmesmile @nomadics-stuff @hufflepuffvs

[two-are-the-trees]

31 Days of Poe Day 5: “The Pit and the Pendulum”

While Poe is a master of terror and creates all sorts of frightening, morbid scenarios to shock our senses, none of his stories reach pure, primal, unrelenting levels of fear quite like “The Pit and the Pendulum.” This is one of Poe’s most graphically and physically horrifying stories, haunting readers with tortuous traps that are seemingly straight out of a Saw movie.

The tale follows a man who has just been arrested for an unknown crime by the Spanish Inquisition. He is thrown into a completely pitch-black dungeon and left to await his execution. The narrator is thrown into agonizing suspension as he wanders his cell, wondering what horrible method of torture will be used to carry out his sentence, as he has heard stories of terrible fates at the hands of the Inquisition. As he explores in the darkness, however, the narrator begins to notice strange things about the prison in which he is held and he must keep on his toes in order to avoid the various traps that his captors arrange for him. At each turn, his chance for survival looks bleaker and bleaker, and yet some internal urge pushes him to see how long he can escape his inevitable death.

Poe’s vividly descriptive language in this tale creates an atmosphere of the utmost squalor and desperation. The sensory details told through the narrator are meant to shock readers at whiplash speeds, inspiring feelings of disgust, hopelessness, confusion, and horror. The narrator describes walls that are slimy and cold, the oppressive claustrophobia of complete darkness, hairy rats crawling in his face, the pain of hunger and thirst, ghastly smells of decay, and the heart-stopping chill of terror that comes in intense waves. This imagery evokes an intense sympathetic response, more than most of Poe’s other works. Readers are thrust directly into the action, bonded to the narrative by our shared experiences of bodily sensation. The tale is also steeped in death as the assured presence of doom in one form or another hovers over every scene.

“The Pit and the Pendulum” is primarily a story of fear. It is fear that punishes the prisoners for their crimes and it is fear that inspires the narrator to attempt to escape every execution attempt thrown at him. The narrator experiences many different forms of fear; fear of closed spaces, fear of disease, fear of starvation or dehydration, fear of solitude, fear of bodily harm, and even some unnamed fears that seem to haunt the innermost recesses of his soul. While most of Poe’s tales use fear to some degree, this story is an absolute exploration of its most primal forms. Whether psychological, physical, or spiritual, Poe seeks to understand how fear affects us and what extremes we will go to because of it.

Would I recommend “The Pit and the Pendulum?” Absolutely, BUT only if you think you can handle it. This story DOES contain some graphic descriptions by Poe’s standards and many hard-to-read fears are explored in detail. However, this has become one of Poe’s most iconic works for a reason. It’s a genuinely thrilling story and the language is amazingly effective. Like, “The Fall of the House of Usher,” I would also definitely recommend the animated version of this tale in the Extraordinary Tales anthology (which is narrated by one of the masters of horror himself, Guillermo Del Toro.)

For more analysis (which contains spoilers!!!) please read below the cut!

As I mentioned above, fear is one of the primary themes of the narrative. The narrator shows an array of different responses to fear and describes its many different forms. He exhibits the strongest reactions to the titular pit and pendulum, and it is these two specific moments, as he faces two different, horrible deaths, that seem the most significant. I like to think that these two methods of execution represent a duality that divides all fears; one is a fear of the known, and one is a fear of the unknown.

The pendulum, which represents a fear of the known, inspires fear primarily because the narrator is allowed to see its journey downward, nearer and nearer to his vulnerable body. He is strapped to a table, facing upwards, so he cannot turn away from the fate that is set for him. He is able to track the pendulum’s movements; study how the mechanism lowers the blade inch by inch, maddening him with each swipe. Poe describes the spine-chilling sound of the screeching metal as it swings, reflecting the heightened senses of the panicking narrator. Because the blade is made to descend slowly, the narrator is given ample time to reflect on his death. He imagines how the blade will feel as it cuts away at his clothing, and then the top layer of flesh, and then deeper into his tissue until it reaches his heart. It’s gruesome imagery, and this grisly train of thought leads the narrator through several stages of pure fear, from unbearable desperation to bleak resignation. The terror of the pendulum is that it forces the victim to grapple with the certainty of death. The narrator knows exactly how he will die, how painful and slow it will be, and this knowledge will only add to the agony of his final minutes.

The pit, on the other hand, represents the fear of the unknown as the depths of the pit and the horrors that lie within haunt the narrator throughout the story. The narrator’s first experience with the pit is when he almost falls directly into it in his pitch-black cell. He narrowly avoids walking straight into his doom as he trips and falls just at the edge of the pit, enough for his head to hang over the side. Immediately, he is repulsed. He describes a horrible, musty, decaying smell coming from deep within and when he drops some debris into the hole and listens to see when it lands, he discovers that the pit runs dizzyingly deep. As much as he tries to infer about the pit with the limited sensory information that he has, he cannot truly know what fate may have awaited him. He gets a brief glimpse into the pit before he is subjected to the pendulum, but it is still unclear in what horrible way he would ultimately die if he were to fall into the depths. This type of fear, the fear of the unknown, is especially potent for the narrator as, after he escapes the pendulum, he is forced nearer and nearer to the pit by contracting walls, and his thoughts race in horror as he regards the pit as the most horrible death of all. This reflects our human, primal fear of things unknown; things like the darkness of night or of deep, dense forests. Any number of horrors could be lurking in obscured places.

Poe brilliantly captures the feeling of fear within the story, however, there is another element that complicates the narrative and sets it apart from many of Poe’s other works; the presence of hope. Yes, as bleak and disturbing as “The Pit and the Pendulum” can be sometimes, remember that it is essentially a story of survival. Even in the most despairing of situations, the narrator cannot fight his desire to stay alive and the hope that, somehow, he may live to see another day. He doesn’t simply lie and wait for death. He seeks out the dimensions of his cell and he eats the food that he is given eagerly, even as he is strapped to the table waiting for the pendulum to bisect him. He formulates a plan to break free of his bonds and escape the pendulum, even though he knows another death will await him soon. He even tries to resist the burning hot, contracting walls that push him toward the pit. Something deep inside him retains the spark of hope that allows him to escape doom. Ultimately, it is this hope that pays off in the end as the narrator is actually rescued from his horrible fate at the very last moment. Yes, this is a Poe story with a happy ending! “The Pit and the Pendulum,” bizarrely, is both a story about the human relationship with fear and about the willpower of the human spirit. It connects us with our primal roots and provides a very interesting and, dare I say, universal look into the human experience.

So, what did y’all think? What really makes the pit the most horrible form of death? What do you make of Poe’s “happy” ending? Are the pit and the pendulum representative of something else? If you want to share your thoughts, please comment on this post or send me an ask! You can also use the tag #31daysofpoe to write your own response post!

[idiotdumb]

[[MORE]]

came into work EARLY to help my fucking boss even though I didn’t have to AT ALL. things were really fucking busy on the inside AND we had a delivery driver call out so my boss said she would take deliveries. meanwhile I’m like, “I’ll ultimately do whatever you wanna do but I don’t think it would be a good idea to leave me alone in here during this rush.” (we had a good cook and a CSR inside but the CSR is brand new and constantly asking questions and needing babysitting which is a task in itself.)

so she sounds annoyed and says, “do you need change?” and I’m like “????” and she tells me it’s for a driver bank so I could go on the road (and she would stay in the store). I told her that I didn’t wanna leave her alone in the store with things the way they were and she was like “I’ll be fine.” but then I got upset and was like, “so the implication is that I’m WEAK for not wanting to be alone in the store?” and idk, this made her upset. it was frustrating because the point I was trying to make is that it was IMPOSSIBLE at that point to run the store, as busy as it was, with just a manager, cook, and needy baby CSR.

after this, the night was BUSY AS HELL!! I was correct in assuming that it was best that my boss stay inside because I can handle a LOT by myself having worked at my job for six years, but things were overwhelming for like three straight hours, and without her, I would have been drowning. it was nonstop crazy busy for those three hours. I’m talking 20+ minute production times, problem customers, delivery drivers with issues—things piling on top of other things continuously.

my boss literally just FUCKING SULKED most of the night. she stepped in to help when she absolutely HAD to, but even then it was like pulling teeth. she brought down the mood of the whole store. it was horrible and petty and quite honestly PATHETIC for someone as old as she is to have such a hissy fit while her junior manager had to run the whole store. she stayed in the back doing dishes, slamming them the whole time. ugh

it evoked this awful feeling I remembered feeling when my mom, who was emotionally abusive to me during my childhood, would give me the silent treatment. at one point this silent treatment lasted for weeks. it reminded me of that tense, walking-on-eggshells feeling of back then.

it’s really, really hard for me to have sympathy for someone who does that shit to me. it makes me feel like I can’t fucking trust her because she thinks it’s okay to treat me like I’m garbage.

she has a lot of fucking issues, I get that, I really do. she has bad depression and anxiety issues. that doesn’t give her an excuse to treat me some type of way though. and the fact that I’m always having to put up with her bad moods and ignoring me (yes, this happens weekly) makes me feel drained as fuck.

I’m tired of this bullshit. she used to be so good to me, and now she treats me like shit. that’s what makes it hurt all the more.

one day she’s gonna make me feel REALLY bad and I’m gonna walk the fuck out. peace bitch.

it’s gonna put me in a really bad mental place to always have to appease her like this. I refuse to put up with that. honestly the vibes are EXACTLY like when I was living with my mom, always trying to please her, always coming up short, always being criticized, never EVER being good enough. being mocked for no reason. always desiring to see her smile at me for something I’ve done or a joke I’ve told. making myself so small because I’ve been taught that being “”agreeable”” and “”easygoing”” are the best things someone can be.

in reality I’m easy as fuck to get along with and to work with. my boss is just really stubborn as hell and won’t see things my way. I feel like I’m not being made a valuable member of the team and she just talks shit about me when I’m not there.

I’m literally fucking crying over this shit. tomorrow’s my other day off and I’m spending time with Jacob and his besties and it’s gonna be a good fucking time and I need it so badly. I just feel so upset.

what also adds to it is that I talked to the cook Ant about what people say about me. I told him that there’s a kernel of truth to everything. but he told me about thoughts that HE had about me back in the day and now I feel like I can’t trust him either.

idk if there’s anyone I can fucking trust anymore. everyone has shown me that they’re just talking behind my back and not actually my friend.

one of these days I’m gonna quit my job and move far away where I can keep these fake motherfuckers at a distance.

making it a goal very soon to inquire about classes for the spring so I can FINALLY go back to school. I’ll cut down my hours at work and these bitches can suffer without me being there as much 😊😊😊😊

[clairen45]

Digging into Rey and Kylo’s Spotify Playlists- part 1: episode 7 songs

The Shut Up and Dance with Me post really pushed me to go through the songs from the Spotify playlists and give you the lowdown, as I see it. That these lists even exist is beyond me! And, just to be clear, these lists have been released in 2015 pre-TFA. With no modification, even pre or post TLJ. No added material. If anything, they actually removed some songs from the lists: 2 for Kylo and 3 for Rey. I don’t think the changes necessarily meant that the songs were too revealing or, on the contrary, didn’t fit the characters anymore. It might just be copyright or legal issue or some artistic differences or god knows what. But again, the point of these lists were to get to know the characters a little better. Some characters we already knew of course, the big three ( Luke, Leia, Han Solo), but also Obi-Wan and Yoda, a list for Anakin and a list for Vader, Padmé, Mace Windu, Bobba Fett, Chewbacca... Lists for new characters: Finn, BB8... surprisingly no Poe Dameron. By the way, I think the Dark Side’ list is super interesting! And of course Rey and Kylo. Rey’s list is full of pop, girl empowerment anthem kind of songs, with a few romantic ballads, which already meant something. Kylo’s is of course full of angsty rock. I don’t want to comment on the genre. My mission was less on the musical genres than on the lyrics and how they can shed some light on the characters and their fates. Because, sure, a team chose these songs to let us know about the characters but, honestly, guys, I think somebody let them in on the rough draft of the whole ST. Because post TLJ it is obvious that a lot of songs apply to what happened as far as Rey and Kylo are concerned in this movie. And since we have our bunch of ep 7 songs, and a bunch of ep 8 songs, well, it appears a bunch of songs don’t fit either and could very well give us key information about ep 9. Before I get accused again of “reaching” (LOL), let us be honest: I think they put a lot of care into those playlists. So no, I don’t think coincidences are accidental. And yes, I think it’s fair to speculate about episode 9 looking at the songs. So let’s take the journey and crack these songs together.

There are 53 songs for Kylo (I am excluding the original soundtrack every time) and 54 for Rey. Rey’s playlist also has tunes in common with Padmé, Leia, and Luke. 4 songs in common with Padmé, quite a lot: Smoke and Fire, Rich Girl, Fighter, and Bulletproof. With Leia: Smoke and Fire, and the fact that they both have Love is a Battlefield, except that Leia is Pat Benatar’s song, and Rey’s is Jordin Spark’s song. Same title, different songs. This marks Rey as the “heiress” to these two heroines, which is not surprising. I think it is quite remarkable that she shares so many songs with Padmé, as regards the Anidala inversion we always talk about. Rich Girl, in particular, because Padmé was a Queen, so yes, the rich girl, whereas in Rey’s case the song is ironic. Rey also shares 2 song with Luke: Wild by Troye Sivan (I honestly don’t get what this song does on Luke’s playlist, so that must mean something potentially), and Adventure of a Lifetime. With Luke as a mentor to Rey in ep 8, that would kind of make sense that they would share something. I honestly merely skimmed through all the playlists, but Rey and Kylo seem to be the only one who share  songs with other characters (if I am wrong, please correct me). Kylo shares 3 songs, 1 with Anakin (and NOT Vader), Bored to Death, 1 with BB8, Destroy the Map, and one with Mace Windu on You want a Battle (Here’s War). Interesting also. I won’t necessarily comment on that today, because there is a lot to go through, but these are thoughts to save and process later maybe.

Some songs can also fit two, maybe the three, episodes. And also, I have noticed something very interesting in Rey’s playlist: a lot of songs that feature in her playlist seem to be more from Kylo’s POV (like Shut up and Dance). They should normally feature on his list but because they would break away from the others in terms of genre, it is probably how they ended on Rey’s list. I found on Kylo’s playlist 1 song that, to me, should rather feature on Rey’s list, but again, would seem odd in terms of genre.

1.KYLO’S LIST/ EPISODE 7

Kylo’s list also seems way more descriptive about his character, angst, inner conflict, feelings of pain and revenge, than Rey’s list. There is a lot of songs talking about past abuse and family conflict. Sweet Dreams by Marilyn Manson is a good example: “ Some of them want to use you/ Some of them want to get used by you/ Some of them want to abuse you/ Some of them want to be abused”. References to dreams and nightmares in Kylo’s playlist are also quite noteworthy because they tie in with Rey’s visions as described in TFA: she hears voices in her dreams, and when she first sees Kylo, she knows that she has seen him before “in a dream, in a nightmare”. We can also find some parallels with the plot in episode 7: the Jakku massacre, meeting Rey, killing Han... Recurring themes are, without surprise, fire, death, suffering, dreams and nightmares...

This Means War (Avenged Sevendold). That song is packed with so much about his feelings and his introduction in the ST. It goes on and on really. I could quote the whole thing. But here are the highlights :

Hide my face again, harbor in the shadows (duh!) Feel this weight of sin hammering away Die, with the guilt of a thousand AWOL soldiers (The pull to the light) Die, watch the scythe usher me astray (Lor San Tekka’s execution)

The ugly side of me is strong

Carry me to nowhere  (Jakku is nowhere!) Lie!Mask the pain Of a child who's forsaken Lie! To myself Praise the new regime (honestly, did they write the song for Kylo?)

I left me long ago Reasons you'll never know No one to miss me when I'm gone With no more words to say No argument to stay. Another post I don't belong (Lor San Tekka: The First Order rose from the dark side. You did not)

No home to call my own No finding someone new No one to break the fall No one to see me through No name to carry on No promise for today No one to hear the call (Oh hon, hang on, the girl is coming!) Buy into the fear (Rey: You are afraid!) My serpent blood can strike so cold (Murderous snake! again) Another thought I can't control (Force bond much?)

Elements of TFA Plot:

Legion of Evil (OFF): “Break down houses”, “ Mystery crews on a murderous spree” (the opening on Jakku, with his mysterious identity) but also “Retaliation against horrible gods/Treasonous snakes with gentlemen's lies/ Waving a false flag to sell the deception” which of course are reminiscent of his line to Rey about the Resistance: “ You mean the murderers traitors and thieves you call your friends ? “. But can also ironically evoke Snoke’s influence on him: he is the treasonous snake with gentlemen’s lies. Or even to him as seen from Rey’s POV in 7 and at the beginning of TLJ: “a treasonous snake”/ “murderous snake”/ “liar”...

The Red (Chevelle) and Evil Eye (Franz Ferdinand), both emphasize the color red, which is Kylo’s color theme.Thunder and Lightning (Motorhead”, “ Maybe you'll die, maybe you'll fly/ Fire in the sky, thunder and lightning”.  Heart of Fire (Black Veil Brides): “ I feel alive inside I won't be terrorized, I'll take all the blame/This heart of fire is burning proud/ I am every dream you lost and never found/ This heart of fire is stronger now”. Also the attack on Jakku.

The Map plot: R2 where are U (Flying Lotus): it takes both BB8 and R2 to find Luke’s hideout. This song is also on BB8′s list by the way. Destroy the Map  (36 Crazy Fists). Obviously the title is interesting because Kylo gives up on the map and gets Rey instead. The song presents some other interesting points: something that could evoke Starkiller base “ And the clouds don't break when the sun is on empty” , and also something that seems to fit straight into TLJ: “You couldn't hold your mouth to stop the sound/ With all these riches on the tip of your tongue/And I was trying to dampen it all out/You were talking louder than I should here/Producing nothing but all these mirrors”, “ Where the baptized drown/We used to breathe” (Rey in the cave) “This time, our time, we have, we'll last”. So gain some songs can actually fit more than 1 episode.

Failing on Starkiller: beaten up by Rey, never got the intel about Luke... At least I’m known for something (New Found Glory): “ I've figured out my situation/ I am an endless source of useless information/ Give me bad news could be something expecting/ I let my front down/ And I know I will regret it/ /But you don't know that and I'm the one to blame for it/'Cause I'm destined for failure“. More Starkiller: My own Summer (Deftones): “ Hey you, big star/ Tell me when it's over”.

Family and Han:

Refusing his legacy. War on the Palaces (Refused):

I carry history with me I carry hope   (I see you Ben You are My Only Hope Solo!!!!) All the nameless faces before us Let's carry them all

I wanna carry the dead (his attachment for Vader instead of the living members of his family) Wage war on the palaces

Bored to Death (Blink 182): “ And it's a long way back from seventeen/The whispers turn into a scream/And I'm, I'm not coming home/Save your breath, I'm nearly/ Bored to death”. Mene (Brand New): “ My father spoke of prophecy/ To think that I believed is self-centered of me/There was something I was trying to say/ But then I choked on it and now it's getting kind of late” (@madandmisquoted did a meta on how Kylo mumbles “I love you dad”+ “It is too late”). Indestructible (Rancid): “ It's so fake now, everything I see right through/I'm ashamed now to say I ever know you” evoke his scene with Han. I don’t wanna Hear It (Minor Threat): “ I don't want to hear it/ I'm sick and tired of all your lies/ I don't want to hear it/ When are you gonna realize.”. Family and mommy issues: Down With the Sickness (Disturbed): “ It seems what's left of my human side/ Is slowly changing in me”, “ It seems you're having some trouble/ In dealing with these changes/ Living with these changes / The world is a scary place/ Now that you've woken up the demon in me”, “ No mommy, don't do it again/Don't do it again/ I'll be a good boy/I'll be a good boy, I promise No mommy don't hit me/ Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?”. 

Conflict

Got the Life (Korn): “Hate, something, someway, each day, dealing with no forgiveness/ Why? This shit inside/ Now everyone will follow/ So give me nothing just feel/ And now this shit will follow/ God begs me, the more I see the light, who wants to see?”. Strife (Trivium): “ I reach for calm/ I starve for a balance unknown/ This burden tortures me deep in my soul” ; “ Guilt buries me alive/ In a coffin criticized/ I shouldered the blame and dug this hole for me to lay in”. Duality (Slipknot). The title says it all, but it definitely applies to the scene with Han: “ You cannot kill what you did not create”;  “Pull me back together/ Or separate the skin from the bone/ Leave me all the pieces, and then you can leave me alone” (Can apply to “I’m feeling torn apart”, “I killed your son, he was foolish and weak” ).

The Girl

I know that’s what you’ve been waiting for. There are 2 major songs about Rey in that list and one them has been removed, A Cross and a Girl Named Bless (Evans Blue). That song presents some elements that stretch all the way to 9. I’m including it here, because of the obvious reference to the way they meet on Takodana:

She's holding out for weapons to kill the ghosts inside (She shoots at a ghostlike figure in the forest)

Or at least kill the thoughts she has of killing her mind (Get out of my head!)

She says "I love you" with her hands (TLJ: Smut Hut)

She says "I hate you" with her eyes (You have that look from the forest..)

There's a pretty girl somewhere with a pretty name (What girl?)

But I could never let you know how much this means I swear we'll end this war, because we both know

It wasn't worth fighting for  (Major episode IX spoiler)

She, she said to me I will be driving in the wrong direction Did you ever think that maybe your life

Is heading in the wrong direction, baby? (Throne Room Scene)

There's a cross up on the wall See from the corner of your eye When you're down on you knees...and she's begging please So go and lay back down tonight Because you won't know who you are

Until you're down on your knees...your begging please (End of TLJ, Crait)

The other big song is The Answer (Savages):

Wish me luck This was a hard year And I can't see No brighter future Wish me luck I saw the answer It was a girl (What girl?) Will you go ask her  (Interrogation scene, the girl is all we need) I saw the answer Will you go ask her Love is the answer

Evil (Interpol): “ Heaven restores you in life/ You're coming with me/ Through the aging, the fearing, the strife/ It's the smiling on the package/ It's the faces in the sand” (the abduction, Rey is literally a face in the sand, the smile...), “You're weightless, semi-erotic/ You need someone to take you there/Sandy, why can't we look the other way?/Why can't we just play the other game?” (he carries her in his arms like a feather, You need a teacher!).

There is also a song there that is all about Rey’s POV on Kylo in TFA. Headstrong (Trapt) screams Rey during the interrogation scene. But, again, they couldn’t have put it on her playlist so it features on his instead.

Circling your head contemplating everything you ever said (getting in HIS head) Now I see the truth I got a doubt  (You... are afraid you will never be as trong as Darth Vader!) A different motive in your eyes and now I'm out (escapes the interrogation room) See you later I see your fantasies You wanna make it a reality baby paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads yeah Well now that's over

Back off I'll take you on (Forest duel) Headstrong to take on anyone (Come on, that is SO Rey!) I know that you are wrong Headstrong we're Headstrong Back off I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong This is not where you belong (Trying to turn him in 8)

I can't give everything away (I won’t give you anything!) I won't give everything away

2.REY’S PLAYLIST/EPISODE 7

JAKKU

There are songs about Rey’s life conditions on Jakku. Poverty in Rich Girl (Gwen Stefani): “ If I was a rich girl/ See, I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl/ No man could test me, impress me, my cash flow would never ever end/ Cause I'd have all the money in the world, if I was a wealthy girl”. Of course the morale of the song is “All the riches in the world don’t mean anything without your love”. To remind us that if Rey has dreams it’s mostly about finding love and belonging. Interesting that she shares this song with Padmé who had the riches + the love and still didn’t get her happy ever after, but more on that later...

New Americana (Halsey) about survival of the fittest, the daily struggle of poverty, social divide. That one is also interesting because of its reference to James Dean: “ Young James Dean, some say/ He looks just like his father”. There is also the big reveal about Kylo being Han’s son.  I  think it’s probably how they first imagined Kylo, as a hypersensitive, rebellious, angsty youth, a character from East of Eden (another reference to Eden). The character played by James Dean, in Elia Kazan’s adaptation of Steinbeck’s famous novel, is Cal, a rebellious son who believes his father does not love him and sees him as evil incarnate. Kylo much?

Daylight (Matt and Kim) can also be about home and Jakku: “I miss yellow lines in my roads/ Some color on monochrone”, ‘Cause the daylight anywhere feels like home”. In TFA she wants to go back to Jakku. Rey is also used to having to fight for her survival: “ Murder lives forever/And so does war/ It's survival of the fittest/ Rich against the poor/ At the end of the day/ It's a human trait/ Hidden deep down inside of our DNA”.

Some songs talk about Rey’s dreams and her feelings of loneliness.Chandelier (Sia): “I'm gonna live like tomorrow doesn't exist/ Like it doesn't exist/ I'm gonna fly like a bird through the night,/ Feel my tears as they dry”. How she lives on a day to day basis and feels lonely all the time. Wake Me Up (Avicii):  

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can't tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I'm too young to understand They say I'm caught up in a dream Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes Well that's fine by me (stuck waiting on Jakku)

So wake me up when it's all over When I'm wiser and I'm older All this time I was finding myself And I didn't know I was lost

I tried carrying the weight of the world (Literally her job as a scavenger) But I only have two hands I hope I get the chance to travel the world And I don't have any plans I wish that I could stay forever this young Not afraid to close my eyes Life's a game made for everyone And love is a prize

THE FIGHTER

Of course songs about Rey, the independent girl, the fighter... Fighter (Christina Aguilera): “ 'Cause it makes me that much stronger/ Makes me work a little bit harder/ It makes me that much wiser/ So thanks for making me a fighter/ Made me learn a little bit faster/ Made my skin a little bit thicker/ Makes me that much smarter/ So thanks for making me a fighter”. Another song shared with Padmé. I know the song is about a guy that cheated on the girl and lied to her, but rather than about Kylo, this song can apply to a lot of people in Rey’s life: her parents, Unkar Plutt, and all the people she’s had to deal with since childhood. There is Run the World (Beyoncé) that could also be foreshadowing for episode ix. Kelly Clarkson’s Miss Independent, with the perfect title for Rey’s episode 7, but the message about love in this song actually fits better episode 8. Roar (Katy Perry): empowerment anthem, plus Rey looks like a lioness at the end of TFA, baring her teeth and snarling at Kylo. Possibly Piece of Me (Britney Spears).

Confident (Demi Lovato) fits well with Roar. That one screams end of TFA with beating Kylo down.

It's time for me to take it I'm the boss right now Not gonna fake it Not when you go down 'Cause this is my game And you better come to play

I used to hold my freak back

Now I'm letting go

I make my own choice (accepting the saber)

Bitch, I run this show So leave the lights on No, you can't make me behave

So you say I'm complicated

That I must be outta my mind But you had me underrated Rated, rated

What's wrong with being, what's wrong with being

What's wrong with being confident?

 There is the teaser song about Rey’s origin. That’s Not my Name (The Ting Things). Well, in TFA everybody is asking about her identity, about “the girl”, wo that would make sense to have this song. Rey might not even be her name after all, though she is old enough when her parents sell her to remember it; Does it mean we will l get a new name in ix? Maybe. Or just Rey Solo. I think the song is really there for the fun about the possible identity of Rey...

THE ESCAPE

Songs about Rey leaving Jakku and becoming a pilot. Obviously: Starships (Nicki Minaj) because “starships are meant to fly”. Boom Boom Pow (The BEP): “ I'm on that supersonic boom/ Y'all hear the spaceship zoom”. Alive Tonight (Grace Potter), for these lines: “In the dark of the desert/  I saw a man with a sign, it said/ People get ready, 'cause it's all over/ It's all gonna end tonight, well” ( On Jakku, Lor San Tekka is the man with the intel about Luke promising that “this will begin to make things right”, and eventually this sign gets to Rey through BB8 at dusk in the desert). I also like these lines: “ You wanna get in on the action, you want/ Everyone to listen to you, oh/ You're just living in a prediction/ And that don't, that don't make it true, no” which fits the fact that things will not be as simple as Rey thinks. Also about the end of Rey’s time on Jakku, The Dog Days are Over (Florence+ the Machines): “The dog days are over/The dog days are done/ The horses are coming so you better run”.  These lines are great: “Leave all your love and your longing behind you/ Can't carry it with you if you want to survive”, about giving up on Jakku and close to Maz’s line about “the belonging you seek is not behind you”.

MEETING KYLO

Now, with songs that reflect on meeting Kylo... There is Gibberish (Max): “ But then I caught you creepin'/ Secrets that you were keepin”, which could fit the interrogation scene. Or the title could just refer to the fact that Rey seems to understand every language she meets (BB8, Chewie...). LOL. Obviously, the beautiful Yes Girl (Bea Miller):

I got you figured out, you need to have control You think that I don't know you, I know you, I know Trying to tell you now, I've been doing what you want But I won't be your yes girl, no, not anymore

And these even better lines: “ And now you're my favorite sin, oh/ Cause I'm either on your side or you're a mile away” (which fits TLJ better). There is Focus (Ariana Grande): “ I can tell you're curious/ It's written on your lips/ Ain't no need to hold it back/ Go ahead and talk your shit/ I know you're hoping that I'll react/ I know you're hoping I'm looking back/ But if my real ain't real enough/ Then I don't know what is” (again, mood for the interrogation scene). Also like that line: “ Let's find a light inside our universe now/ Where ain't nobody keep on holding us down”. 

That one seems really more to me from Kylo’s POV when Rey leaves for the MF at the end of TFA. We Come Running (Youngblood Hawke):

Headed for the open door Tell me what you're waiting for (Rey is coded as the waiting one) Look across the great divide   (the ground falling apart between them) Soon they're gonna hear The sound, the sound, the sound (Boom goes Starkiller) When we come running Never go where we belong (obviously, they parted ways when they should be together) Echoes in the dead of dawn  (Force bond foreshadowing echoes?) Soon they're gonna know The sound, the sound, the sound When we come running

And also that one: Force of Nature (Bea Miller). That one really fits Kylo in TFA as he starts falling for Rey during their duel on Starkiller: I don't know why but my hands are shaking I can see you coming and I stand here waiting (Didn’t put up much of a fight, honestly) Yeah I get tongue tied in the conversation (Lost the interrogation scene fight) It's an F'd up, bad, sick situationI tried to tie my heart down, board up all the windows Oh but it's too late now (Too late is classic Kylo) I let you get too close (like inside my head) I know I should take cover, hide inside these four walls But baby I surrender, it all'Cause you're a force of nature (Marry Me Face) Look at what you've done I can taste the danger but I don't wanna run So pull me to the ground and I won't put up a fight (End of the fight) I'm a caution taker, but baby you're a force of nature Baby you're a force of natureI feel your lips move in and they take me under (The Force? Mesmerized in looking at her) You know just what to do, how to make me want you And I know I'll be broken when it's over Oh but I can't help but pull you closerI'll be here 'till we collide I don't care if I survive So crash into me one more time

Say what you want, but this beautiful ballad is all about Kylo’s feelings for Rey!

BONUS: THE INVERSE ANIDALA SONG?

There’s an intriguing tune in Kylo’s playlist. Incorporeal (Tiger Army).

I’m gone I died long ago but my spirit still roams (Incorporeal) Unwanted in heaven, forgotten in hell as on earth (Incorporeal) I don't want to stay here, it seems that I'll never be free Oh can you hear me? (no) And so It has come to be that I must wander forever (Incorporeal) Many things I have seen, empires that rise and then fall (Incorporeal) A life you live long is simply a moment to me A tiny drop of water in the sea of eternity There's no place for me everywhere that I go Only seems to bring upset and harm There's one thing that I want and one thing only Release into the great beyond Don't want to remember when I was alive When I held my true love in my arms For like you I once was, and like me you shall be When you Feel a chill in the night perhaps it's me saying hello (Incorporeal) You're so much like my love though she lived in a long ago time (Incorporeal) I long to see her, the day when my soul's laid to rest The peace that I can not find in life, I can find in death

Honestly, this song makes me want to scream!!! Heavy reincarnation theme. Especially when you cross that with Rey sharing 4 songs with Padmé. And with the fact that Anakin (not Vader) and Kylo share a song. And the song  I mentioned, Rich Girl. Rey is the inverse Padmé already, right? She’s the younger one in the couple, and she is poor with a low status. Again, Padmé has everything (the riches and the guy) and didn’t end up happy. By sharing songs, it might be another hint that Rey will succeed where Padmé didn’t.

This is it for 7, guys. It is quite a beast. 34 songs left to go through in Rey’s playlist, 25 for Kylo.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy 

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’ 

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting 

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent? 

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way. 

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved. 

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible. 

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg? 

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell. 

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum. 

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao 

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E  D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary? 

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous 

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them. 

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it 

and now.. 

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment

[kaepop-trash]

Black, White and Red

Rated: Smut, Angst

Pairing: JaehyunxReaderxYuta

Summary: The story of secrets, deceit and greed. Three characters with unlikely alliances and one common goal; power. Jaehyun is stuck between his own thirst for power and his need for the one thing that could take away everything. Yuta has ambition growing from an unlikely alliance and convinces himself to do anything to protect it. Between both of them is her, ambitious but with one weakness, she does all it takes for Jaehyun, even if it’s putting herself aside. But how long can she hold up her own fragile games?

(A/N): This is vastly unedited, but I’m starting college from tomorrow so idk how frequent updates will be.

Mini Masterlist

She was woken up from her nap by her phone vibrating under her pillow, she raised her head to pick up her phone. She stared in disbelief at Jaehyun’s name on her screen.

Come downstairs.

She huffed at the words and dropped her phone back on the bed, turning around to go back to sleep when her phone rang again.

Or I could come upstairs and you could explain to your roommate what I’m doing at your door.

She groaned into her pillow rather dramatically and sat up on her bed.

“You look horrible.” Jaehyun said leaning against his car. She came up and stood in front of him, wrapping her arms around herself to keep warm.

“Thanks. Did you have a point to this?” She asked with a sleepy groan, shivering slightly.

“We have to go for the party.” He said looking bored.

“I can go by myself Jaehyun.” She huffed and he scoffed.

“Mom asked me to bring you with me. I’m just listening to her, you don’t have to assume anything.” She looked up at him offended at his words.

“I’m not assuming anything!” She retaliated and he nodded.

“Okay then go get your things, let’s go. I’m going to go buy something to eat.” He didn’t give her a chance to respond.

“Oh and wear something warm.” He added walking away.

“Sit in the front, my suit is at the back.” Jaehyun said when she walked out of her building. She huffed in annoyance and he grinned. She went to open the back door, groaning when her hand slipped off.

“Unlock the door, I need to keep my dress straight.” He smiled and pressed on the key. She opened the door when she heard the beep and placed her things inside.

Jaehyun sat at the bar that was made on the lawn for an hour now, he was bored and (Y/N) still hadn’t come down. He realised he hadn’t seen her till his mother whisked her away when they entered.

“How’s School son?” He turned to see his dad standing over him.

“It’s good, after this break we have to go back and choose our specialisations.” He informed his father.

“Do you know what (Y/N) will choose?” Jaehyun looked up at his father with a confused expression.

“Why would I know? Ask her.” He scoffed and his father laughed.

“You should be nice Jaehyun, she hasn’t done anything wrong.” His father patted his shoulder lightly.

“I am nice, I drove her here didn’t I? She’s the one who won’t even look at me in front of other people.” Jaehyun grumbled to which his father sighed.

“When will you learn to use the resources around you?” He squeezed Jaehyun’s shoulder rather painfully before walking away, leaving Jaehyun confused about the meaning of his statement.

A maid came to Jaehyun after a while, informing him that his presence was required in the foyer. He nodded and made his way, sincerely hoping the night would come to an end as soon as possible.

When he entered the house his father gestured him towards a few people and he nodded and walked towards his direction.

“I was just telling Mr. Choi’s daughter about you. I was hoping you’d keep her company while I keep her dad busy with work.” Jaehyun nodded mechanically at his words but he wasn’t paying attention at all. His attention was fixated towards (Y/N). He was taken aback by the person standing in front of him, the white dress she wore made her look celestial, her hair was pinned up showing off her neck and the memory of the last time his lips were on it flowed into his brain, devouring his senses. Even if he wanted he couldn’t look away, when she noticed his gaze on her, her lips parted in a familiar way that didn’t help his state. They were both forced to look away when Jaehyun’s father said her name.

“(Y/N) come with me I want to make you meet Jaehyun’s cousin. He runs a consultancy firm, you’re still keen on financial law aren’t you?” She nodded with a courteous smile, glancing at Jaehyun once before walking away behind Mr. Jung.

She stood listening to the guy ramble on about how successful he was at such a young age. She forced on a smile and tried desperately not to roll her eyes, but he was making her efforts almost impossible to keep up.

“Have you ever been to Switzerland?” He said as she looked around the lawn trying to find anyone else to take her away from this.

She was considering her options, she had some pretty unsavoury responses in mind and while she was trying to be polite this guys was testing her patience.

“Listen bud-” She started with flared nostrils but both of them were distracted by a firm landing landing on the guy’s shoulder and a smooth voice.

“How have you been?” Jaehyun asked him with a polite smile, the guy looked confused at the interruption but nodded, telling him about recent events. She rolled her eyes at the repeat of the story she already heard, she bit her lip when Jaehyun turned her way, catching her in the act as he suppressed a smile threatening to show. Jaehyun listened attentively, nodding when appropriate and smiling when needed. She was slightly impressed by the way he looked genuinely stimulated by the conversation. She gazed over his form, the white suit he was in made him look almost ethereal, and the black shirt inside fit on his chest in a way that wasn’t so pure. She looked away from him to stop her mind from getting too ahead of itself. After a period he clearly deemed suitable, he interrupted the fifth anecdote with a curt cough.

“I feel like you and I will both lose out on this lovely evening if we keep chatting, let’s catch up properly someday. How about lunch?” The guy agreed. She focused back her attention on Jaehyun, annoyed that he was going to leave her in this incredibly boring situation.

But he turned to her with a mischievous glint in, looking at her like they were the only two people there.

“Would you honour me with a dance?” He asked her with the most gentle voice, it was polite but she sensed a sense of hesitation in it. Her lips parted slightly, conflicted about what to do. She turned to the guy once who was smiling curtly. She chewed on the inside of her lip and nodded, being brisked away without a second thought.

“You’re welcome.” He spoke close to her ear and she chuckled lightly, “He’s not the most pleasant conversationalist, but he’s a good guy.” He said and she looked at him with a small smirk.

“Are you selling your cousin to me Jaehyun?” She shot back the mischief in his voice. He turned to her with a smile that didn’t give anything away, pulling her into him so abruptly that she’d probably fall if he wasn’t holding her to securely.

“I’m actually pretty keen on keeping you to myself.” She looked away, unsure of a response. He just laughed and swayed her around to the music. They danced for two songs, she told herself it was only because she didn’t want to have to go back to his cousin and not because of how oddly pleasant his secure hand around her waist felt.

As the party almost died down she was all but desperate to make her escape from this horrifyingly dull person. She took a few turns and came to a spot hidden by trees, she looked around at the splendid spot in awe.

“My mother was rather obsessed with the idea of having a rose garden when I was in high school.” She gasped at the sudden voice, following it to find Jaehyun sitting on a marble bench.

“She never really came here, but it’s a pretty place.” He continued without turning to look at her. His jacket was slung over his shoulder and she could see from here that he had completely ruined his hair.

“Do you come here a lot?” She asked, still standing in her place. She heard a small chuckle and he got up from his place, walking towards her slowly.

“Not really, I’ve never had a reason to hide.” He shrugged.

“Then why are you here now?” She asked and he stopped in his tracks, staring at her with a peculiar expression.He extended his arm, offering the bottle of champagne to her. She looked at it once then back at him. He shrugged and bought it up to his lips.

“Let’s celebrate this great day.” He said and she sighed, brushing his words off as a drunken monologue.

“Can I use your phone to call a cab? Mine’s dead.” She asked and his furrowed furrowed.

“Did things go well with my cousin then?” Her mind burned at his words.

“I’m not staying.” She said, not being able to hide her irritation. He looked up at her with a serious gaze for a long moment before turning away to give a short laugh.

“You don’t have to do that, be all formal.” She raised a brow at him skeptically and he sighed.

“Did you not see how my father pimped us both out to a suitable candidate today? You’re practically family now,” He laughed bitterly, extended the bottle a second time. “So drink, let’s celebrate.” This time she took the bottle.

“Let’s go, the party is over. Your parents will be looking for us.” She said and he clicked his tongue.

“My father probably had one two glasses while discussing business and my mom is going to fall into her ambien induced sleep. No one is looking for us, you can do anything in this house now. Let’s run around the lawn, let’s swim.” She giggled at his words before she could help it, he grinned, satisfies he evoked a reaction out of her.

They stayed in a comfortable silence, suspended in the spot away from all the workers who had started to leave. The bottle was passed between them two more times but she kept it aside after. She could feel his gaze on her after a moment, his gaze was warm and it made her nervous. But she didn’t want to look back, if he was sneaking a glance she was okay with letting him get away with it tonight.

“Your lipstick is very nice.” He said after a longer moment. It was a simple compliment, her fingers ghosted over her scarlet lips. She nodded in acknowledgement.

“I want to ruin it.”

They stood at the base of the stairs, his hands in hers made her heart flip whenever she thought about it.

“This is a terrible idea.” She whispered, he just smiled and guided her towards his room.

Their footsteps echoed through the halls loudly, so loud that she was afraid of being caught. She squeezed his hand without realising. He stopped walking and faced her with deep questioning eyes. The idea that he might be reconsidering made her nervous.

“Do I bother you?” He searched.

“Very much.” She admitted with a nervous laugh.

“Do you despise me?” He frowned a little.

“Do you?” It was a valid inquiry.

“Quite the contrary.” His confession was effortless. Her small smile gave him his answer.

“Do you trust me?” He pried. Suddenly her heart drummed like it was thrown into an ultimatum.

“Yes.” Her voice didn’t hesitate. His eyes glowed for a moment, before he turned around and opened a door.

She lay awake a little after the sun came up, but Jaehyun’s hand over her bare back prevented much movement. She didn’t want to disturb his sleep, his face looked too serene as she breathes slowly, the hair on his face rustling slightly. After a long consideration she gave in and moved the hair away from his face. After a moment longer, she wiggled under his arm, considering making her escape without waking him.

She tried to slip away, his hand gripped her sides and pulled her closer, into his embrace. She gasped at the unexpected movement, keeping her face on the other side of his.

“Where are you going?” He mumbled with a gravelly voice.

“To my room.” She mumbled after a while, her face burning suddenly.

“Why?” He groaned and buried his face in her shoulder. She squirmed at the touch and he chuckled and did it again. She turned her face towards him, but only buried his face into her neck and she sighed in defeat, feeling his grin on her shoulder blade.

“I want to leave.” She lied. He lifted his head and looked at her, he chewed on the side on his lip.

“No.” He said firmly and she looked at him with disbelief.

“What do you mean no?” She huffed and he laughed again, slipping on top of her and holding her hostage with his weight, laughing when she whined. After a while, he lifting himself up on his arms and looked down at her. She blushed and looked away.

“Have breakfast with me?” He asked, her gaze fluttering back to his eyes.

“We’ll be having breakfast together anyway Jaehyun.” She stated and he clicked his tongue.

“Not with my parents, let’s go out. Let’s have breakfast while you tell me about university or about how much you hate politics.” He chortled at the last bit, she looked at him with furrowed brows, confusion and skepticism evident.

“Why?” She narrowed her eyes. He sighed dramatically and lay back on top of her, ignoring her protests. He placed a chaste kiss on her neck that made her stomach flip, then lifted his head back to look at her with a shy smile.

“I’m trying asking you ask you out on a date but you’re making things very difficult.

[jaehyunnie--dew]

Phone Number? [Shin Wonho] M

Bartender!Wonho

2.8k words

Warnings:

~ Mature

~ Daddy kink (slight)

It all started late at night. You had just lost your job to the boss’s daughter and your best friend to his girlfriend, so you stopped by a bar to lose yourself. You decided you deserved to be treated though, so you went to the most expensive bar in Gangnam, with topshelf liquor. You weren’t entirely sure if even Patrón was going to be enough for you tonight. You could handle losing your job, but Kihyun had been your life for years. Your feelings for him slowly built until they were shattered by his girlfriend two years ago. You vowed to never let him know about your feelings because of how happy he was with her. It was so beautiful to see him smiling all the time, even if it wasn’t because of you.

  You found yourself walking into the classy building, surprisingly vacant of customers. The bar had comfy looking chairs lining it, and the tables surrounding the area had chairs made of mahogany. The entire place had a sexy aura to it, arousing an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach.

  You sat yourself at the bar and let your hair down, eliciting a glance from the previously busy bartender.

 “Can I get a pineapple cocktail, two shots of Silver Patrón?” You asked the him and he nodded his head.

  “That’s a lot of Patrón for a little lady like you, something bad happen?” His lips formed ugly little words in a beautiful way. You noticed, upon studying him a bit, that he looked simply delectable. His broad shoulders had his black button-up pulled taut, and it seemed as though his arms were going to burst out of the rolled up sleeves any minute. He sported black hair with subtle blue highlights, and it was slicked back in a way that made me want to run my hands through it and mess it up.

  “Heh, you okay ma’am?” His lips pulled into a knowing smirk, “You’re about to start drooling.”

  “Huh?” I snapped out of my trance and something came over me, a feeling of pure desire. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine, I just don’t run into bartenders this sexy very often,” I said as my voice became as sultry as ever.

  “Well today’s your lucky day then, I’m here all night,” He said with an indistinguishable look in his eyes.

 His smirk was playing games with your sanity, making you think things you hadn’t had time to think of before. There was something wild about him. Something more than a man who cleaned glasses and made drinks for a living.

  “I guess I came to the right place then, Lord knows I need something good today.”

  “Oh, well back to my previous question, something wrong?” He handed you your drink with a coaster under it and leaned on the bar in front of you, bringing him to eye level.

  You thought about your day and decided to tell him what happened, why the hell not?

  “Eh, it’s really nothing much, but I lost my job to the boss’s daughter,” you sipped on your cocktail and relished in the burning of the tequila on your throat before continuing, “and my best friend was given an ultimatum by his girlfriend to choose between us. He chose her.”

  “Tough luck,” his features showed sympathy, “but at least you’ve got the sexiest bartender in Korea to listen to you.”

  “Hah!” You chuckled, “I guess you’re right.”

  When he heard your response he stood straight up with his brows furrowed, “You guess? Have you seen me?”

  Devious little thoughts crossed your mind, little things to say to him, but you chose the one that would give you the most benefit.

  “Well of course I have, but there are improvements that could be made,” You said while biting your lip.

  “Oh yeah? Like what?” He leaned in closer to you and you felt your breath catch in your throat.

  “Well, you look like a bit of a prude with your shirt buttoned all the way up,” You took your hand to his collar and started playing with the buttons, “maybe if you did this it would look a little better?” You said as your fingers undid the first button on his shirt. “Hm, one or two more maybe?” Your fingers were working on their own now, undoing the next two buttons to reveal a peek of his chest.

  “Well, I’m sure you’re right, I must look even sexier like this.” His low voice seemed to turn a little bit husky as your hand brushed his chest on its way down to the table top.

The flirting seemed to continue forever and you had consumed three drinks by the time the bar was supposed to be closing.

  “Hey, mind if I ask your name, bartender?” Your mind was fuzzy but your speech wasn’t slurred yet and you felt fine to stand and lean over the bar.

  “It’s Hoseok, you?” He leaned close to you and you just wanted to thread your fingers through his hair and pull him even closer until your lips were crashing into each other.

  “I’m Y/N, and I’m also drunk and need a ride home. Are you willing?” You let your hand rest on his bicep and traced ghost circles.

  The look that crossed his face could only be described as hunger, and something inside you loved that you had evoked it.

  “Yeah, I can give you a ride home, as long as you give me your number,” He bit his lip and stood up.

  “Deal, give me a pen and a napkin,” You felt yourself getting excited for the rest of the night, even though there were no plans you had a feeling something would happen.

  Hoseok turned around to grab a pen, but the alcohol hit you all at once and you felt your vision blurring and knees buckling, until everything suddenly went black. So much for letting loose tonight.

    When you came to, you found yourself in bed with ten pillows and a blanket wrapped firmly around you. You sat up and realized it was a bad idea once the sun’s rays hit your eyes from the window.

  “I don’t remember having that window… What happened to my house?” You thought to yourself with squinted eyes as you rose out of bed to find your clothes on the floor next to the nightstand. Panic overwhelmed you and you looked down at yourself to find you still had your underwear on at least.

 Your eyes, more alert now, scanned the room, looking for clues. There was nothing until you saw a lump in the bed next to where you were sleeping.

 “My mother… she would be so disappointed in me…” You thought as you hit your head.

 Your thoughts jumbled into one big mess and you crawled onto the bed to peek under the covers at the lump. You saw a head of beautifully messy black hair, followed by a toned back and a nice ass in black boxers.

 “Oh my God!” You shouted and fell off the bed with a huge thud that hurt your tailbone.

 The man jumped out of bed with the laziest look of fear on his face, “Huh? Oh shit, are you okay?”

 “I, uh, I don’t know. Most prominently my ass hurts, followed by my head, but that’s not the point!” You searched your head for memories from yesterday and remembered a few things. Things like being thrown away by work, your best friend, and then going to the bar and meeting one sexy bartender.

 “Well get back on the bed,” He said as he held his hand out to you. You took it and took the chance to study his face, but low and behold there wasn’t much to study. You had studied him very well last night while you were drinking.

 A blush powdered your cheeks as you said thanks and covered your scantily clad body, “Uh, thanks.”

 “Do you remember last night?” He looked at you while running a hand through his hair and you noticed all the veins in his arm were popping.

 “Uhm, yes, and I’m sorry, I’m not usually so straightforward. Did we do anything once we got here?”

 “Heh,” he laughed, “no, you were mumbling about how horrible your day had been and how it was such a blessing you met me, then you K.O’ed. I had to undress you myself.” Hoseok smirked. “Nice tattoo by the way.” He was referring to the lacy design you had gotten under your boobs and on your abdomen.

 “Oh, uh thanks, I got it to feel sexier. Guess it worked last night, huh?” I giggled nervously and lowered my head.

“Hey, you don’t need a tattoo to feel sexy, you’re the sexiest women I’ve seen.” He lifted your chin to look you in the eye. “Though, the tattoo does certainly add to it.”

 You could feel heat spreading everywhere throughout your body, something new. You liked this feeling, feeling sexy. Hoseok aroused this new feeling in you, and damn it you just wanted him to put you on your knees.

 His hand that had been on your chin worked it’s way around to the back of your head where he took a handful of your hair and pulled you closer.

 “Do you mind? If I give myself what I’ve been waiting for all night?” His voice seemed even lower now, becoming a growl.

 Something inside you took over and you straddled his lap, taking fistfuls of his hair and you brought yourself even closer to him. So close that your lips brushed his when you said, “Take me.”

 His other arm wrapped around your waist the second you said it and pulled you so close that your bodies became one. His lips crashed into your’s furiously, as though he wanted to take your mouth for his own. Beneath you, you could feel him growing harder and you decided to take advantage of it by rocking your hips just slightly to cause him to moan.

 “Oh no you don’t, you’re mine,” He snarled into your ear before flipping you on your back and climbing over your body. “I’m going to make you shake, so you just lay there and take what I give you. Understand babygirl?”

 “Y-yes,” Nothing much had even happened and you were already this breathless.

 He lowered his head to your neck and started nipping his way to your collarbone before going back up to kiss the sensitive areas better. He had you writhing in anticipation already, wanting more friction on every part of you. Hoseok snaked his arm around your back and unclasped your bra, sliding it down your arms and tossing it somewhere unknown while taking your peak into his mouth, working wonders with just his tongue. He took your other nipple and toyed with it until your hands threaded into his hair and your back arched. You were aching for more and the moans leaving your moths weren’t enough to tell him that.

 “What is it princess, what do you want?” He smirked at you while letting his hands caress your sides and latch onto your hips.

 “I-,” you knew what you wanted but your words were failing you. You had to find some way to tell him, so you grabbed one of his hands and started sucking on two of his fingers, eliciting a few guttural groans from his lips.

  “I want more,” You said once you gained some control back.

 “Hm, more…” He smirked that smirk you knew so well by now. “Well how much more?” He slid your panties to the side and just barely brushed your clit. “This much? Or this much?” Hoseok whispered into your ear as he shoved his fingers inside you and pumped relentlessly. You didn’t think your back could rise off the bed anymore, but it did and at that angle he was hitting all the right places.

 “Or this much more?” He snarled as he slid down your body and found himself in between your legs in a mere instant. He pulled off your panties in one swift movement before diving right in and eating you like dessert. He took your clit into his mouth and made little figure eights with his tongue to make you moan his name. Finally, he added his fingers into the mix, entering you again just as strong as before. You could feel the coil in your stomach tightening and your moans grew louder before you started shaking. You had never been this sensitive before and no one had ever gotten you to such a high peak.

 Hoseok finished you off by sucking on your clit and yet again increasing the speed of his fingers to a blinding pace. You lost all control of your body and started shaking as you screamed his name. He slowed down just a little to let you ride out this new level of heaven before bringing you back down to him by crawling back up your body and nibbling on your ear.

 “See princess, I told you I’d make you shake,” Hoseok whispered to you before kissing you softly. “Are you okay?”

 “Yes,” you panted, “yes I’m okay, please give me more… Daddy,” You looked to him with your eyes half closed, looking you see what he thought but you couldn’t see him for long before he crushed your lips with his. You got remnant tastes of yourself once you opened your mouths and allowed your tongues to dance together.

 “You’re learning well babygirl, I’ll give you what you want,” He was panting as he slid off his boxers to reveal his throbbing cock, and you couldn’t believe how big he was. You had been with decently sized guys but he looked the biggest.

 Hoseok positioned himself in between your legs, guiding his tip in before slowly going all the way to the hilt. He buried his head in the crook of your neck and let out obscenities before composing himself. The way he looked you in the eye to see if you were okay only made you want more. You could feel him inside you and you loved it but you wanted to know how good he felt slamming into you as fast as he could.

 Hoseok started kissing you softly and thrusting in and out, picking up speed as he went. He made you feel like you weren’t on this planet anymore, you only knew of pleasure when you were with him.

 “Fuck princess, you’re so tight,” His voice was getting louder by the second, and then he stopped. “Are you okay with doggy style?”

 “Mhm,” You nodded, letting yourself be flipped over and put on your hands and knees in one fell swoop. Then he entered you again, from behind this time and he reached new places, places that had you screaming his name over and over.

 “Please, harder Daddy, I’m almost there…” You moaned as he took a handful of your hair and pulled your head back.

 “Fuck, more? Are you going to be okay?”

 “Yes, yes, please fuck me harder,” You were both out of breath but Hoseok picked up speed and for the second time you started shaking. Your arms collapsed and you rode out this feeling of pure ecstasy while Hoseok took time to reach his high.

 “Damn babygirl, can I cum inside?” He asked as he gripped your hips even harder and slammed into you a few last times while you nodded. He pumped one last time before spilling himself inside you.

 You both fell to the bed and tried to catch your breath and wrap your minds around what just happened.

 “Oh my God,” You panted, your mind thoroughly blown.

 “Holy shit,” Hoseok muttered, wiping off his forehead. “Are you okay?”

 “Do you know how many times you’ve asked me that? I’m fine, better than fine, I’m amazing.”

 “Well I know I can be too much for some girls so, I don’t know, I guess it’s become habit.”

 “Well that was fantastic, I’ve never been with anyone like you.”

 “Same goes for you, shit that was good.” He looked at you while biting his lip. “You know, you still owe me your phone number.”

 A puzzled look crossed your face, “But we fucked? It’s a one night stand, am I wrong?”

 “Yeah, you are, I don’t do one night stands.” He looked at you softly, “Though next time we meet I’d like to take you out for dinner and get to know more about you as a person?” Hoseok blushed a little sheepishly.

 “Oh uh, yeah, o-of course!” You smiled as you laid your head on his shoulder, “Mind if we nap though? I’m exhausted.”

 “I think that’s a good idea,” He said as he pulled you into his arms and drifted off slowly.

[nastasyafilippovnas]

Idk if your accepting writing prompts or whatever but I have a question that has been eating me up for while. How kisa and Richie end up sleeping in the same bed? Did Richie sleep on the couch first and then move onto the bed? How did the situation arrive that he would need to sleep in the same bed with her? I would love it if you wrote a small Drabble about it.

First of all, I have to say, I’m so sorry it took me so long to answer. I’m going through a horrible writer’s block. Second, thank you so much for sending this, nonnie. It’s one of the most interesting and thought-evoking prompts I’ve ever received, I now have too many feels about this question. Third and last, I hope you like my version of events!

in our bedroom before the war (ao3), wc: 1,385richie x santanico + sleeping in the same bed, takes place between s1-2.

After eighthours of driving straight through Mexico and Texas, they have finally arrivedin the outskirts of Houston, and Richie is ready to go to bed and sleep as soonas he opens the door to their new place.

“I know it’snot much. But with all the rangers in the state still looking for the Geckobrothers, we can’t risk going to a motel or something.” He apologizes, feelingstrangely self-conscious of the old garage turned into command central andbedroom that his contact got them.

“It’s fine.”Santanico says, curiously looking around the place until she stops in front ofthe (only) bed. “There is only one bed?” She asks, though her voice betrays noemotion.

“I will sleepin the couch.” Richie answers without missing a beat. He hadn’t thought aboutthe sleeping arrangements yet, but he doesn’t want to make their situation anymore uncomfortable.  

She turns tolook at him with surprise all over her face; her mouth opens and closes quicklyas she tries to figure out how to best answer him. Santanico has to admit thateven though she wants to sleep with him (expected it, even), there’s a reliefin not having to do it now, so soonafter leaving the Titty Twister. So, she only nods, agreeing with his decision.

“I’m gonna gotake a shower, then…” She says, walking towards the bathroom and once she isout of the room, Richie sighs helplessly, unsure of the best course of action.

From themoment she had bitten him and he woke up as a culebra, everything had felt right, like this is what he had beenchasing his whole life, this new existence with Santanico. Once he had sharedher blood, her very essence inside of him, that feeling of rightness had become even stronger. However, he was also painfullyaware that they were virtually strangers, having known each other (really known each other, not theSantanico that played tricks his head) for a grand total of two days. And attimes, that awkwardness, common to strangers that somehow got stuck together,manifested itself full force. Just like now.

Unfortunatelythere doesn’t seem to be anything he can do about it, except maybe trust hisfeelings and hope time will bring them closer.

So he makesup his bed on the couch and when Santanico comes back wearing only a sinfulpiece of lingerie, he pretends to be asleep and tries to not think about her.

***

Their makeshiftsleep arrangements continue during the next days without either of them makinga move to change it. The couch is small and extremely uncomfortable (she knows,she tried when he wasn’t there), but Richard never once complains about it andSantanico is pleasantly surprised. When they’re out, they have been behaving asboyfriend and girlfriend, holding hands and even kissing, yet they hadn’tshared the huge bed in their room. And she is once again sprawled alone on topof it while Richard sleeps on the sofa.

“Richie?” Shecalls him by his nickname for the first time and it’s enough to wake him fromhis light sleep.

“Yeah?” Heanswers in a sleepy voice.

“Are youawake?” She asks, even though she knows it’s a stupid question.

“I am now…”He answers dryly and Santanico notes to herself that he doesn’t like beingwoken up in the middle of the night, though it doesn’t stop her from talking.

“I can’tsleep.” She whines from the bed and he sighs. “Tell me something.” She demands,becoming animated with the idea.

“Like what?”

“Something Idon’t know…?”

He pauses,thinking about what he can say that won’t be too intimate. “I had a dog when Iwas a kid. Her name was Peaches.”

“Whathappened to her?”

He shrugs hisshoulders before remembering she can’t see him in the dark. “She did what dogsdo. Ran away and we never heard of her since.”

“Sorry.” Shesays genuinely, thinking about the shy and abused boy Richie had been and howmuch he had probably loved the dog.

“It was along time ago.” He tries to brush it off like it’s nothing, but she insists onthe topic.

“Still, youmust have liked her a lot.”

“I did.” Headmits it. “She was the only friend I had as a kid.” He pauses and then adds asafter-thought, feigning nonchalance. “Besides Seth, that is.”

Santanicodoesn’t comment about his brother, she never does, and he can’t tell howgrateful he is for it. Instead, she shares something about herself, “I neverhad a dog…it wasn’t common back then.” And testing for his reaction, shesuggests, “maybe we could get a dog now.”

Richie laughs.“Who would train it and take it out on walks?”

She snorts.“You, obviously.” He turns to look at her and when their eyes meet, they bothlaugh.

They spendthe rest of the night talking about random things, and for once, neither ofthem is worried about where this relationship is going.

***

They havesettled into a routine. Go out, look out for Malvado’s operation hideouts, killsome people, come back to the garage, sleep each in their corner until shewakes him up in the middle of the night, forcing him to spend the rest of thetime talking to her. But today she is prepared to change this.

She convincedRichie to go scouting the area alone, claiming she would be bored with nothingto do, and spent the day preparing their room. The light was turned off,candles were lit all around, and she had just gotten herself in her mostdelectable piece of black lingerie, sprawling herself on their bed just asRichard turns the doorknob.

“Sorry, Ididn’t know you were…” He stumbles upon his words and she takes no smallsatisfaction from seeing her seduction is being effective.

“You don’tneed to apologize, Richard.” She says, getting to up on her knees. In thisposition, they are face to face. Her hands go around his neck, locking him inan intimate embrace. “Don’t ever apologize.”

His own handsgo around her waist, his fingers softly caressing her skin and bringing hercloser to his body, despite his own mind telling him this is a bad idea; thatit’s still too soon. “And you don’t have to do this”, he says, his voice kindbut firm and she can’t keep the surprise from showing on her face for a moment.

“I know.”Santanico answers him, her voice barely above a whisper and her eyes locked onhis. “I’m doing it because I want.” And then her lips softly touch his, stillunsure, until his hands tighten their grip on her waist and he deepens thekiss.

***

He wakes upin the middle of the night with Santanico clinging to his arm and it makes him getup from the bed quickly to take his place on the couch before she wakes up.

***

“What are youdoing?” It’s the middle of the night and instead of being by her side, Richieis on the other side of the room, diligently making his bed on the couch.

“Prepping forbed?” He answers as if it is the most normal thing in the world.

“In thecouch.” She adds.

He shrugs hisshoulders. “I didn’t want to impose.”

“You thinkyou’re imposing?”

“It’s notlike you have much choice, in terms of living arrangements.” He doesn’t look ather as he answers, focused at the task at hand and she realizes that he reallybelieves in that. That she is with him because there is no other choice. Howcould she have been so blind this whole time?

She takes abreath and says clearly, “Richard, if I ever think you’re imposing, I’ll kickyou out of bed myself. Now can you please come back here?” When he finallyturns to look at her, she pets the side of the bed and he smiles, walkingtowards her and getting underneath the sheets.

“I wasfeeling cold.” She whispers on his ear when he settles next to her.

“I knew youhad some ulterior motive.” He retorts, kissing her shoulder.

“Shut up.”

He neversleeps on the couch again.

The end.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you get nervous easily? I’m a nervous wreck of a person. When you get out of bed, do you throw the blankets off of you, or do you gently and slowly un-tuck yourself? I push them off. Are you more likely to wear colorful clothes or monochrome clothes? I have a few colorful clothing items, but I suppose I do wear more monochrome.

Do you get horny a lot? No. How often do you cry? Quite often. This past week has been everyday. It’s already been a week since my dog passed away...

Do you let things happen on their own or do you initiate them? I tend to let things happen without doing much about it. What song(s) evoke deep thoughts when you listen to them? There’s a few that have strong emotions attached to them. Do you enjoy rainy days? Yes. How long does it take you to read a book? Not long. When you get angry, what do you tend to do? Cry. If you could live in another country, would you? What country? I don’t think so. Do you acknowledge your feelings or ignore them? Try as I might, they don’t like to be ignored. When you want to block everybody out, what song(s) do you blast? If I want to block people out, then I go to my room to be alone. If space were easier to travel, would you want to explore it? Nooo. Just the idea of space scares me. Without saying what it is, describe the best feeling in one sentence. I’m not creative enough to answer this :( <<<< Same.   Would you rather be a deep thinker with social anxiety, or a vapid (unintelligent) person who’s a social butterfly? I already am the the deep thinker with social anxiety. Could you imagine yourself having a child? No. What are you currently reading? He Found Me by Whitney Barbetti. Would you go cliff jumping or sky diving? Nooooo. Describe the best thing about being inside. Being comfortable, not worrying about my appearance, and my bed. Describe the best thing about being outside. The cooler weather during the fall and winter, and the smells of fall. What subjects interest you the most? I majored in psychology, so that was definitely something I was really interested in. Do you fear the unknown? Oh yes. Are you the kind of person who just leaves new clothes in their bags for a while after shopping, or do you wear the clothes straight away? I tend to wear them straight away. If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I have no idea. I’m fine with my name, and after having it for twenty-seven years I can’t imagine it being anything else. Put your ipod/music library on shuffle. Describe one memory associated with whatever song comes up. Nah. How often do you feel tired? All day, everyday. Are you a good driver? I don’t drive. If your life was a video game, which would it be? I don’t know. What are you listening to at the moment? I feel like this is always my answer to this question when it gets asked, but I’m listening to an ASMR video. Describe the purpose of art. Art doesn’t need a purpose. <<< I like that. If you could only wear dresses for the rest of your life, would you? Meh. I’m not one to wear dresses often, so I wouldn’t like that much. How bout my comfy clothes/pjs for the rest of my life? What’s one health problem you wish you didn’t have? I have physical health issues, but it’s the mental ones I would say that have been most detrimental. Are you a good test/exam taker? I would always get horrible anxiety before a test. Which is better: Disney or Ghibli? Disney. What’s Ghibili? Can you remember your dreams? Not usually. Do you still own VHS tapes or use a VCR player? We still have a lot of our VHS tapes, but not a VCR. What gives you anxiety? What doesn’t. How often do you think “I might die today”? *shrug* Describe happiness with one type of food. Loaded cheddar potato wedges with sour cream and ranch. Would you give up something you value for concert tickets? There isn’t a particular band that I’m dying to see where it would come to that. I really don’t think I would if I did, though. I’m a hoarder in that way. I have emotional attachments to things. If it had value, that makes it really important to me and therfore I really don’t see it happening. What is the first word to come to mind? Rain.

[isabellebrookspopularmusics-blog]

INTRO

“Intro” isn’t just a horribly unimaginative title for the opening of my look into the now critically acclaimed band, the Xx. Instead, it’s the first song on the South London trio’s debut album, and a suitable starting point as it was my earliest impression of a sound that immediately worked its way into my heart. First hearing the 2-minute, lyric-less track I was instantly seduced by the moody indolence of a simple guitar riff, blurry keyboard, and a bass subtle but deep enough to feel like it’s flowing through your whole body. The poignant directness of the music alone was like nothing I’d come across and it set the stage for the experience that is The Xx.

Having known each other since childhood, Romy Madley Croft, Oliver Sim, and Jamie Smith share a closeness that’s reflected in the cohesion of their sound. Making music began as something that they did for themselves because they loved it, never anticipating that anyone else would hear it, let alone the international success they would attain. After releasing their self-titled first album in 2009, the band quickly rose to popularity; The Guardian named them the top record and they were awarded the UK Mercury Prize for best British album of the year.

Unlike a lot of popular music, their songs often have a somber tone and are riddled with melancholy lyrics about love lost and personal struggles. I can see why some people would steer away from The Xx in favor of a more predictable, shall I say uncomplicated, artist like Drake (for whom the word ‘yeah’ comprised a solid 20 minutes of his most recent album, Views). But something they have in common is that their music projects a sense of vulnerability. There’s a reason why these unlikely introverts, who have managed to keep their personal lives almost completely out of the limelight, have risen to success based on true artistry. Their music has the power to resonate with people on a deeply emotional level; it can make you feel heartbroken on a sunny day but you still love it because it’s so moving.

From their first album in 2009, to their second in 2012, titled Coexist, and now with their long anticipated, recently released third album, I See You, The Xx have managed to stay true to their original consciousness, while expanding their music and developing their style. By taking a deeper look into these albums, I hope to share an understanding of why this band has come to mean so much to me, as I think they have with many across the world.

 THE BEGINNING

Along with their first album came their major hit, “Crystalised.” The song opens with an ethereal tone accompanied by a characteristic bass riff as Sim’s voice, even and sensual, leads in and then switches to Croft, who’s sound couldn’t possibly be a better counterpart; the tempo picks up as the two sing together in the chorus. The song has the palpable tension of a toxic relationship that’s fueled with passion but doomed to go up in flames. As with all of their songs, despite the complementary nature of their voices you never get the impression that the duo are yearning for each other, and instead that they’re dealing with the same problem separately. This is likely due to the fact that they write independently and collaborate for a final product. It’s this quality I think that makes their songs so stirring; when you listen to them you feel as if you’re in their position and get the sense of the loneliness that comes with a broken heart rather than intruding on someone else’s love affair.

While “Crystalised” is the standout track of their first album, “Stars” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyIHQsP9xIE) and “Basic Space” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHZVGqqf3gg) are equally as notable and also intensely emotive. The album is in many ways musically very simple–which the members attribute to the fact that they just weren’t very good musicians at that point–but the simplicity adds an undeniable layer of sincerity. It also paved the way for their second, more technically accomplished album, Coexist, that I would argue, uncompromisingly, is one of the best ever made (at least in my book).

THE XX MADE ME CRY IN PUBLIC

I’ve never been one to cry openly but I’ll never forget the way I felt when I saw the Xx live at a music festival. It was right after the release of Coexist and I forced my friends to push our way to front of the crowd hours before their set began so we’d be as close as physically possible. They walked on stage, dressed all in black, opened with their song “Angels” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nW5AF0m9Zw), and I knew it was going to be seriously good; the very nature of their sound combined with massive speakers in a live setting felt like their music was reverberating straight to my core.  It was when they played my favorite song, “Sunset”, that I surprised myself and uncharacteristically lost it. The song begins with a heavy drumbeat produced by Jamie, which becomes the heartbeat of the entire song, and is shortly followed by Romy’s striking guitar chords, and by the time the vocals began I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks. The stranger next to me put his hand on my shoulder and with concern asked if I was alright and I responded telling him how moved I was. I always tell people about that when they ask what the best concert I’ve ever seen was. The song “Sunset” has a marked sense of loss:

 I always thought it was sad–the way we act like strangers after all that we had. We act like we had never met.

And

I always thought it was a shame that we have to play these games. It felt like you really knew me. Now it feels like you see through me.

 The lyrics and the overall feeling created by the tone of the song capture the impression of the void left after a relationship that you put everything into.  

The rest of the album is filled with similar tragic melodies but, again, is musically captivating and keeps you wanting more. Regardless of your past experiences, the xx has the ability to make you sad about an ex you’ve never even had. You could ask why anyone would want to listen to something that makes you feel this way, but to me true art is anything that can make you feel something really intensely and the xx does this perfectly.

A CHANGE IN TONE

A lot has happened for the band in the nearly five years that passed between the release of their second and third albums. During that period Jamie did extensive solo work as a producer and in 2015 released his very successful album In Colour under the name Jamie Xx (http://www.allmusic.com/artist/jamie-xx-mn0002602648/biography and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7gmVWgEpRc). The progress Jamie made musically pushed them to new levels as a group and led to a notable difference in their overall sound and complexity. While they still maintain true to their foundation, it’s as if they’ve stepped out of the darkness with a bolder, unfettered sense of honesty on I See You. The album’s opening track, “Dangerous” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZCCey_22ws) begins with horns and a deep house beat, much more optimistic than any of their previous work. The message of the song is similar to that of “Crystalised,” talking about a precarious relationship:

They say we're in danger But I disagree If proven wrong, shame on me But you've had faith in me So I won't shy away Should it all fall down You'll have been my favorite mistake

 But instead of seeming timid and fatalist it takes on a more determined nature in sound and lyrics that sets the vibe for the whole album.

The first single released from the album, “On Hold,” has a similar quality and is indicative of Jamie’s growth, featuring sampling from Hall and Oates and more intricate melodies. The beat is faster and the timbre less downcast but it still hits you in the same way emotionally as some of their earlier work. It’s the story of a love that seemed like destiny but with neglect it faded away. It has a very perceptible feeling of regret and longing but without the sense that the unshakeable misery is the end all.

Despite their newfound light, stripped back tracks like “Performance” and “Brave For You” are very much evocative of Coexist.

“A Violent Noise” is arguably one of the better tracks on the new album (yeah–this one made me cry too). Rather than focusing on love troubles, it centers on the feeling of being torn up inside and not knowing how to cope with it:

With every kiss from a friend With everything I pretend not to feel Am I too high? Am I too proud? Is the music too loud for me to hear?

Now I go out But every beat is a violent noise Dries my eye With every beat comes a violent noise The melody sung And I don't know the voice Now I go out But every beat is a violent noise

The echoing guitar chords and Oliver’s inflection when he sings “Am I too high? Am I too proud? Is the music too loud” are completely haunting. The background music creates a cloud that evokes the sensation of being enveloped by losing your way and looking for an escape from the torment. With the recent release of the album, the band has also openly discussed Oliver’s struggle with alcohol. Unlike their other songs, this seems very much like it’s being sung from his perspective specifically while Romy’s verses sound pleading, which could be a reference to his experience.

Overall, I See You’s polychromatic nature offers a new level of artistry and suggests the The xx’s capability of being more than just melancholy while still conveying an emotional intensity.

OUTRO?

Unlike a lot of popular artists who push their music and their “brand,” there’s an anonymity to The xx that adds to their success; it allows you to make the music about your own experiences and taps into feelings you didn’t even know you felt. Although it’s a completely cliché play on the title of their newest album, The xx sees me in a way that I don’t think any other band possibly could and for that I’m grateful.

  Works cited

Auxtelevision. YouTube. AUX, 29 Aug. 2012. Web. 10 Feb. 2017. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mJR9Q-F_oU>.

Gaerig, Andrew. "The xx ." The xx: xx Album Review | Pitchfork. N.p., 28 Aug. 2009. Web. 11 Feb. 2017. <http://pitchfork.com/reviews/albums/13400-xx/>.

Monger, James Christopher. "The xx Biography." AllMusic. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2017. <http://www.allmusic.com/artist/the-xx-mn0002016312>.

O'Brien, Jon. "Jamie xx Biography." AllMusic. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Feb. 2017. <http://www.allmusic.com/artist/jamie-xx-mn0002602648/biography>.

Snapes, Laura. "I'll Be Your Mirror: How the xx Found Themselves-and Their Vibrant New Sound-in Each Other." Pitchfork. N.p., 28 Dec. 2016. Web. 13 Feb. 2017. <http://pitchfork.com/features/cover-story/9997-ill-be-your-mirror-how-the-xx-found-themselvesand-their-vibrant-new-soundin-each-other/>.