#if you saw my original post about this on my personal blog
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𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐌𝐞 - The Raven Cycle
Decided to broaden the horizons and post this to tumblr rather than let it stew and rot on Ao3. I would appreciate any and all interaction!
Relationship: Joseph Kavinsky/Ronan Lynch Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Violence, Blood and Injury, Unrequited Love, Jealousy, i'm-hurting-so-my-favourite-characters-must-hurt-too. Word count: 1.1k Summary: Ronan and Kavinsky confront one another after their dream-bender in 'The Dream Thieves'. Violence and angst ensue. Warning: cannon-typical homophobia from Kavinsky. Continue with caution lads x
NOTE: THIS IS A REPOST FROM MY PERSONAL BLOG. I JUST WANTED TO MAKE A SEPARATE BLOG FOR MY FANFICS.
original post on my other blog: 8 June 2024
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tags
#fanfiction#my fic#fic rec#maggie stiefvater#the raven cycle#the raven king#the raven boys#the dream thieves#writeblr#writers on tumblr#ao3 fanfic#ao3feed#ao3 link#i was so sad when i wrote this DAMN#reblogging this on a different account#if you saw my original post about this on my personal blog#NUH UH#prose so purple it made my teeth hurt#yummy yummy
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I don't like the way you guys talk about Palestinians asking for donations. I don't like it.
I had to see someone make MULTIPLE posts bitching and moaning about how people need to stop sending them asks asking for them to reblog their donation posts, that they'd just be blocking them from now on, and that they didn't care if they were vetted because they still found the act of sending asks to get reblogs on their donation links suspicious, even if they were in a dire situation. They even went as far as to say that they got an ask, deleted it, and then they got another ask from the same person, and accused the person of sending another ask to purposefully "get under their skin"
I don't know man, have you considered that being a victim of ongoing genocide will make you ask for help in whatever way you can? And sometimes that involves sending random blogs asks to see if they can donate or at the very least share your donation links? A Palestinian reaches out to you multiple times because they need help and your response is to whine about getting donation links in your inbox? I wish I had your problems
Also the thing about "getting the exact same ask from the exact same blog multiple times"... uh, duh? First of all, they're probably reaching out to dozens of blogs daily, do you think they're gonna type up a new paragraph for each blog they reach out to? Second of all, maybe they reached out to you multiple times because a. They really really really need the help and b. What, do you think they're gonna see your URL/blog and be like "oh! I already reached out to this blog, I'm not gonna send them another ask"? Or do you think they'll be like "this person has been reblogging other people's donation posts, maybe they'll reblog mine too"?
Like I understand being suspicious about getting sent donation links to your inbox, but literally all you have to do is check if the blog's been vetted by other bloggers? It's as easy as searching for their URL on tumblr sometimes, it literally takes less than a minute or two. And that's what bothers you? That's what you're complaining about? Find a real problem!!!
#if you recognize the person i'm specifically talking about in this post please don't harass them but i got SO angry when i saw their posts#last night they made a post saying that a scammer reached out to them so i looked up the 'scammer's' url and they were vetted by more than#one blogger so i commented on their post to let them know that#and today i remembered that and was wondering if they saw my comment so i went to their blog and found they deleted the post and instead#made like four posts about what i just described. what the actual fuck is wrong with some of you people. get a real problem oh my god!!!#i'm not mad about them deleting their original post btw i'm mad about the other shit they posted#if they had. idk. been nice in their posts i mayyybe would've let it slide but no they were FUMING they were so mad. that's what really#upset me. like genuinely how dare you#it's really not that hard to check if the blog that reached out to you is a scam or not. like literally palestinian bloggers on this site#have been working day and night to let us know which blogs are real and which aren't. donate to the fundraisers share them and get a real#problem or shut the fuck up about donations for the rest of your life#palestine#free palestine#cat rambles#i said this on discord but decided i wanted to talk about it here too so i reworded a bit of what i said on discord but it's mostly the same
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Honestly the roleplay blogs are stronger than I am because if I saw a post where people were saying my blog was annoying and calling me corny I would jump in a large pit and rot away
#I don't think I should tag this one#Okay I've typed my emotions out. For a more normal way to put it: While it makes sense to be upset#best move. I'm sure the blogs in question would be happier if you just told them about the roleplay guidelines than if you made a post#where multiple people call them annoying. Like can you imagine if someone said that about a writing blog#'So sick of x reader fics in the tag I don't want to see that and they're all so out of character' What a dick move.#It is a different case with rp blogs I'll give you that. But I think the principle of the matter stands#unless it doesn't and everything I said is stupid#original ramble below I was so mad for some reason. im not mad at anyone really. everyone is cool. love you guys#I get why people are unhappy that theyre clogging up the tags#like despiar dev said not to and people want to see content of despiar thyme not just ask blogs#I saw someone say they just blocked them and like. I get why. however. people do not know everything#but my brother in Christ you're not helping the matter!!!!!!!!1 send them a screenshot of what despiar dev said!!!!help other people!!!!!!!#just politely tell them instead of weirdly vague posting it helps everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! maybe they just don't know#misspelling the tags so no one finds this post. I will actually be so pissed if people find this and r upset#Oh I'm sorry THIS is the post you're noticing? You have followed me for over six months and you haven't said anything about any other negat#negative feelings i've expressed. I see how it is#I wish the drdt confessions account was still open but whatever fucking whatever#sui mention#personal vent#whatever I guess
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I guess it's the 4 year anniversary of this blog today? 🥳
it's been a great ride so far, thank you all so much for the wonderful 4 years! And I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday 🫶💖
#4 year tumblrversary#tumblr milestone#Just randomly saw this while checking my notes and it's really been a while huh#Happy 4 year anniversary to me completely rejecting cringe and embracing self-indulgence!#This blog was originally just to have a space for me to post my personal art away from my regular work-work#I have fully become cringe and free in the meantime and have no regrets about it 🙌💕#Thank all of you lovely people for supporting and following my shenanigans#sending lots of love to all of you <3
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@i-really-like-vampires666 AAAAAA OMG I gave ur blog a quick scroll and saw u are ALSO an accordion dave lover !!!! I don’t think I’ve mentioned this on tumblr yet but I ADOOORE accordion dave i am literally so sad he didn’t get more screentime. I think he was funny and unique and so one night I decided to . invent a personality for him HAHAHA
ACCORDION DAVE: we see in the show that he’s quite low-energy, but I don’t think we see him enough to get a full understanding of his character. ‘low energy with an accent and one (1) hobby’ does not a character make. SO in my heart of hearts he’s sort of like Maud Pie from My Little Pony. deadpan and monotonous, but unexpectedly genuine. my personal Dave is not super sarcastic, like I see in the rare accordion Dave post — to me, he’s a one-liner guy. he’s funny and kind and an absolute BEAST at call of duty. he stays up into the wee hours of the morning grinding. he carries his friends in every game
#headcanon: he actually DOES have a personality#LMAOO ACCORDION DAVE MY POOR BOY IM SORRY THEY UNDERUSED YOU#rc9gn headcanons#ninj-originals#dawg i literally love the background characters….Dave is my fave#(bg characters as in they never solo played an important role in an episode)#ANYWAYS omfg i have to hit post already#But I WILL mention Dave again#and dude…..yes. you SHOULD make a dave blog. I saw that tag and i would follow instantly#send me a character and i’ll share a headcanon about them!#taking suggestions via ask or reply :3
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thoughts.......................
#admitting to a lot here but I'M TIRED. the implications!! ugh whatever....#observations after being made aware of certain happenings in fandom spaces. state of the union i suppose.#yeah. sucks that often i'm concerned about leaving a like on certain posts or a kudos on certain types of fics for fear of the wrong person#seeing it and deciding to call me out. as if i'm some influential blog! what does it matter? but hmm. some fandoms are lame asses over stuf#there are good authors & people i'm friends with who have insightful takes and posts. and talent! but i'm a coward. because of the content.#and i feel like a fraud when i talk about being against censorship & say 'do what you want'. clearly i'm lacking since i feel hesitation.#i wish people could mind their business. & either not be so repressed or force repression on others. can't we all just get along?#it really wasn't like this maybe 5-10 years ago. more towards 10. i hate what happened to fandom so much.#why am i admitting this now? maybe to force myself to speak up if i ever see harrassment in the future.#because i never spoke up in the past and i feel shitty about it.#people might even be talking about and making stuff i'm not actually interested in but i don't think it matters!!#it's all fiction and fandom and genuinely mostly harmless. leave people alone???? maybe????#i just want to leave nice comments on my friends fics & to other good writer's works that might have a higher rating ok??#and not face a 'saw you at the devil's sacrament' situation#which in itself is hypocritical but i still don't want to face it! i just want to be left alone!! good writing is good writing!! ahh#i could make another blog but why? i have nothing original to say i just want to not feel judged for giving a like or leaving a comment#end scene.
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I could be wrong here but I feel like in the context of this post it should be extremely clear that my tags are directed not at Jews or any other non-Christians, but rather at Christians who are in turn addressing other Christians. I'm not Christian, I don't see any need to get Jesus involved either, but I also understand that it's not reasonable to expect Christians to pretend that their religious beliefs have no bearing on their sense of right and wrong, especially when they are talking to other people who share those beliefs. Same goes for any religion.
#I am half Jewish my literal entire father is Jewish#I understand perfectly well that Jews don't care what Jesus thinks#but I also understand that some people DO care what Jesus thinks whether I like it or not!#it's *maybe* possible that the op (who wrote the 'or just don't bring Jesus into it' comment)#thought that I meant 'if you have to make an Easter-related post about Palestine'#when really I meant 'if you feel the need to bring Jesus into *any* post about Palestine'#I was really tempted to respond to them clarifying what I meant but I decided it's just not worth it#but the second comment ('right like Jews do not care' etc.) is so condescending and wrongheaded#...okay I went to their blog and saw that they consider Zionism 'an indigenous land back movement' lmao#well that just vanquished any qualms I had about complaining about them on my blog#the idea that my dad—a white 3rd gen New Yorker—is 'indigenous' to the middle east is (in isolation) hilarious#anyway to get back on topic: the original post WAS complaining about a legitimately antisemitic pro-Palestine Christian post#but a Christian supporting Palestine for Jesus-related reasons is not inherently antisemitic#as long as those reasons are 'Jesus (who was literally Jewish) is my role model and these are the values he espouses'#(and as long as those values do not include hating Jews obviously)#x#personal
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been dealing with some nasty art block lately, so i did a little low-effort doodle of an OC of mine i havent used a bunch, Gabs! (and her little AI/NHP companion Marcy on her shoulder, of course
the power to draw your oc's in cute clothing whenever you want is truly too much for any one person to hold
unsubtle trans pride color palette is... unsubtle
#I POSTED THIS TO THE WRONG BLOG AT FIRST#if you saw it on brie-bo first no you didn't#digital art#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#illustration#character art#original character#character design#although i havent done anything with this lady yet i think about her constantly#if i ever get into a lancer game i can actually figure out her personality#but until then she lives in my head rent free
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I will sound like I am 45 and not 25 ofc, but to be truthful, I am heading towards losing my joy and passion as a fan-artist. It is about the fandoms as a concept in general, without applying it to any specific one. More like about, WHAT fandoms are by now.
I tend to dive into a game/show/whatever ears deep because as an autist I interact with a lot of concepts vicariously through fiction, but also because I just have this natural wish to respect and love (revere, even) something, and complicated creative works that combine several art types work just well. But fandoms are... bad. They are just bad. Now this is absolutely normal for some gremlin that doesn't know anything about the source material to jump in and start to do their thing - be it being super inaccurate to begin with, breaking the source material to replace with their agenda and tastes, or simply spam a lot of samey, 'soulless'(?) fanart with clear clout in mind to, as kids call it, "build the platform" so they can let the STONKS roll in and promote their own stuff at last if they have it.
Like... This is what fandoms ARE by now. Halfway the grinding ground to gain following to sell commissions to, halfway a ground to spread politics and opinions. Business or propaganda. Not a matter of whether products and propaganda are for good things, they're value neutral concepts and can be used for good or bad equally, but both are not ABOUT the source material. Okay, not fully halfway - some ears-deep fans still are here. But why even? When we, actual fans, give people essays on why they are drastically wrong about a character - we get mocked for not having (highlight the correct: real life, girlfriend, touched the grass, job, all applies). When we demand respect and accuracy to the source material - we are called snobbish entitled gatekeepers at least, accused of various isms and phobias at large. When we try to encourage something deeper and more interesting - again, people tell us we are "boring" and that no one cares about this or that character, and outright boast about how they are only here for this sexy man or for that ship and not really lore dive.
Even basically ancient fandoms like Doctor Who, Star Wars or Star Trek that sprouted THANKS TO those exact "30+ loosers with no life" could no longer uphold the whole ears-deep fan mentality because new installments invited too much shallow fans that are prone to mocking too, and celebrities that are responsible for making awful reboots/continuations can just violate the source however they want under cover of "everyone who doesn't like it is just a sexist and racist incel". This is just how it is now. Passion, elaborate knowledge on the source and respect for a thing truly great creative minds created are now considered DIRTY things, and are a proof of one's inferiority in accomplishments and personality. Because fandoms are no longer a place to gather FANS. They are "platforms".
I just consider, would it be more fun to either invest in the fandoms for real people (composers, poets, scientists, etc) where loving the source material for what it is is a requirement (because...... real people... historical accuracy....), or to just head towards creation my own thing sooner than later? I got to say though, I am thankful for each and every fan in whatever fandom I visited that was/is just as passionate as me. It felt, and still feels less lonely to have more people that don't see shame in REALLY fucking loving stories and characters.
#fandomry rambles#internets#/vent#originally did not want to even write something like this because i sound like an old lady#a GRUMPY old lady actually#but ehhhhh. my blog.#i just dont see what is so wrong about really loving a creation instead of just using it#why can't someone make their life more colorful by being passionate about a thing#i start to feel like 'gatekeeping is bad' was a lie sold to us#to destroy a very valid practice of people analyzing fiction into absurd depths#also about 'ancient fandoms':#no brainer that i did not catch the geeks stuff personally#generally speaking i just encountered some old fans complaining about how-#-fandoms 'used to be better' and saw them as silly old men that can't move on dhgkhkkh#but at this point i feel like i get what they were talking about#that they were bullied out of fandoms they CREATED by people that dont get the source material#even soulsborne fandom ended up pulling people that will MOCK real fans#like.... okay? then why ARE you here if no-lifing bloodborne lore is so bad?#siiiiiiigh#this post is so old lady that typing this made my back sore ghkughjjn /hj#but it is how it is#also i have a friend from another fandom with apparently the same kind of autism as mine#and she constantly has the same problem xd#the whole 'wait you guys dont LOVE this game and came here to beat it into your own thing?'#in bloodborne it is poor gehrman and maria who became the biggest display of the whole-#-real fans vs people who just are here to yell and grind fanbase#i feel like real fans got bad name BECAUSE they can be really rude in the name of fiction#but look at the fake fans! they likewise can be pretty rude but they ALSO drag politics into it!
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This tool will count your notes for you.
If you have multiple blogs, report only your most-used blog. You can count the other blogs, but please only put the notes for those in the tags or comments.
#I'm particularly intrigued that my personal posts apparently average 5 notes per personal post???#Also that like.... how do you math 12 into 80... Approximately 1/6 of my posts are original.#I didn't realize the ratio was that HIGH!#Then again I do liveblog individual comments of things as separate posts.........#My most popular post remains that one about Pink Diamond NOT Just Being a Brat! At over 4k notes.#SEcond most popular is the ask someone sent claiming munchkin cats aren't problematic and I hit back with Facts.#Which recently saw a resurgence for some reason???#For awhile there it looked like it was going to be that time my dashboard did a Harrianthe and I was concerned^tm#because I DON'T EVEN SHIP THAT????#But then the counter found all my old Steven Universe posts and those remain all but ONE of my rmaining Top 10. :P#*remaining#The extraneous one was someone asking me how to feed a cat and me responding with The Factors to Consider.#blog#rhs personal posts#sort of???#polls#I wish there was a post like this where you could search WITHIN A TAG.#What are my most popular TLT posts? Personal posts? Teen Titans posts? Yugioh posts?#Fuck if I know.
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A few months ago, some of you might know if you keep up with this blog, I went to Collect-A-Con LA. It was truly on a whim. Literally the day before my girlfriend and I had just come back from our Europe trip. Normally I'd be so tired and jetlagged but for some reason I was feeling really antsy and energized and just needed to go somewhere and get out of the house.
I found out that Collect-A-Con LA was happening the following day and that a lot of the original Pokemon voice cast would be there. So I bought a ticket, drew/printed up a picture that I wanted to get signed and got up early to drive to the convention center (you have to understand that I hate driving in town and also very much never wake up early). I don't know what possessed me to do this but I'm so glad I did.
I ended up having the privilege of meeting Eric Stuart, Veronica Taylor and of course, Rachael Lillis.
She was masked up, looked tired, and a bit sick. And at the time, I assumed she might've caught a cold over the weekend of the con. I went to her table and she still smiled and gave me all of her attention and time. I paid her assistant for an autograph, gave Rachael the drawing I'd done and she got to signing it. Her assistant said the print I had was cute and asked where I got it. I told her that I drew it myself and that I spent a LOT of my time drawing Team Rocket and other various Pokemon fanart. When I said that, Rachel stopped mid-sign and looked up and squinted at me and asked "are you Kiana Mai"? My heart skipped. I had no idea she knew who I was and was surprised that, given how many Pokemon fanartists there are in the world, she was able to pick me out. I left that interaction so happy and felt so seen. Soon after, I went to get my print signed by Veronica Taylor and while in her line, noticed Rachael had left her table; presumably not feeling well and had to leave the con early. I remember thinking how lucky I was to catch her before she left.
A couple months later, I saw the gofundme that her sister posted, detailing what Rachel was going through for the past few years and her battle with cancer. It put that convention day in such a different perspective for me.
All I could think about was how much she cared about her fans and how in touch with her community she was to go to a convention while being in so much pain and suffering in silence. I obviously don't know her personally, but based on how other fans who've met her, as well as her colleagues have spoken about her, I got the impression that she was an amazing, thoughtful person who cared about the people around her. That was only solidified for me based on this singular interaction a few months ago.
Rest in Peace Rachael Lillis. You've touched so many lives with your voice and so much of us grew up listening you. Thank you for everything!
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Notice:
Hello, as some of you may be coming here with the belief that I am the same admin that runs @/Writing-Prompt-s please know that is incorrect! I am NOT! We share a similar name because he started it years ago, but I have been running it solo for almost 8 years now and have nothing to do with his other blog(s) or whatever it going down. Thank you!
Also I don't scrape(?) my prompts from Reddit or any other site - they're all submitted by other users who follow this blog and I just pick some to post (that's why you can find posts on here where I remind others to send them in). Occasionally I may make my own if I have an idea! But that's a misconception I keep seeing that I wanted to add this about.
Further explanation/information under the cut about who runs this blog:
While the/an admin of Writing-prompt-s did start this blog years ago, he then left it to idle and focused on his original blog. I saw this and reached out, again years ago, asking to run it - to which I was promoted to admin. I have been running Drawing-prompt-s solo for about 7 or 8 years now.
Until yesterday (08.06.24) I had no idea anything was even going on with his blog. I have nothing to do with it, I barely even see anything from it aside from the rare prompt come up on my dash nowadays. I only found out when I went to Q a bunch of posts up and found a slew of hate mail ranging from calling me a zionist, threatening violence, and telling me to kill myself. And one of my followers having sent an anon informing me that one of those posts had incorrectly stated he ran this blog as well - that user has since recognized that this is not the case, and various others have pointed it out.
I had a pinned post about this before and when I left for a few hours and came back it was gone. I am working under the assumption right now this is just the fault of Tumblr, though I am tentative about that. So if you see this posted again that is why, and if you see this exact post made again then just be aware it is becuase I am saving a copy of this message and each time the post is removed I will be reposting it, as i am saving this elsewhere so I do not have to rewrite it each time.
I do not want argument under this - I have caught up on everything going on, I have seen the post saying he runs this one, etc. All I wanted for this blog is to post prompts, share art, and encourage others to follow their passion for creation. And occasionally to drop cute cat pictures of my little gremlins.
To those who have been here for years and know who I am, know I am not that same person, I say thank you for sticking around - and to those correcting the misinformation, thank you again. I appriciate it <3
Yours sincerely,
a very confused chick in her early 20s who had no idea anything was even going down.
-- Prompt Prophet
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On Writing Combat and Sex Scenes
Today I want to talk about writing sex and combat (and no, I do not mean combative sex). This post is inspired by a few recent events:
Once, a long time ago, I read a blog post that said “if you can write a combat scene, you can write a sex scene” and that was mind-blowing for me because while I was well-versed in writing erotica, I couldn’t write combat to save my life.
More recently, at Boskone, I participated on a panel about writing combat, and the research involved there-in.
Even more recently, I had someone look at me say, “You’re not a gay guy. How do you write gay sex scenes?”
So. Let’s begin.
I get it—sex and combat aren’t interchangeable. But at their core, they have some strong similarities which can be leveraged while writing. Both are intense, high drama, and can involve a lot of anxiety and quick thought. Both tend to narrow focus down to the moment and the current feeling and action. Both are heightened emotion and physical reaction. Both can involve actions that lie outside the author’s personal experience.
I started writing erotica when I was a freshman in college. I posted it online (does anyone remember rec.arts.erotica?) and was surprised (and pleased) by the compliments I received. Turned out my readers were not expecting the idea of emotion being entangled in their erotica. They were invested emotionally in how the stories went, and how my characters felt. Since I was writing from the point of view that made sense to me at the time, they were het stories from a female perspective, and they were very focused on the emotional connections and how the physical events heightened those emotions.
Male readers were surprised by the intensity of the feelings that these stories gave them (as opposed to pure arousal). It got me thinking about how I wrote, and why I wrote, and I tried to talk about it some at the time. I was eighteen. I was still a new writer. The internet itself was new. I wasn’t entirely certain how to frame it, but I remember getting one comment where a guy was surprised at how struck he’d been by the moment in the scene where everything shuddered to a halt due to an event in the story that interrupted the action, and I replied that that was because I wasn’t writing about the sex. I was writing about the character’s reaction to the sex.
Which has always been how I write. At the time, that was my only tool: put myself in the character’s mind, and write what they feel. If that’s affection and attraction and physical reaction, write that. Tangle it up, and hope the reader feels that entanglement.
Now, fast forward several years, and take a little side trip onto a tangent wherein I learned something very important about writing craft.
I was reading Syne Mitchell’s End in Fire, I think it was, and I kept having panic attacks. Now, I did most of my reading late, often when I woke in the middle of the night due to stress, or just because my brain refused to rest. I was in a rough place in life in general, with a lot of external work stuff going on and very small children. I wasn’t sleeping well. And it took me some time to figure out why I was struggling to read a book which I actually loved (and when I read it later in life, I enjoyed it greatly).
It was the sentence structure.
In order to induce the emotion of the scene, the sentences were short. Sharp. Quick. There was no time for the reader to breathe, much like there was no time for the heroine to do anything but act. The reader was caught up in the rising tension, to the point where my anxious, sleep-deprived brain, caught a panic attack from it.
The technique was brilliant.
Now back to our original timeline, wherein I read a post about how if you can write combat, you can write sex scenes. This post assumed that more people felt comfortable writing violence than sex. I was the reverse. I’d been writing about sex for over a decade when I saw this post, and it made a light bulb go off in my brain.
If writing sex was like writing combat… was the reverse also true? Could I improve my skills at writing battles by analyzing what worked when I wrote erotica?
So I tried doing just that. Back then, I found combat overwhelming. There was so much going on, and I was trying so hard to write good description that I lost all of the intensity. I was focusing on everything that was going on at the same time.
Thinking about how sex scenes were all intense emotion and narrowed focus, I applied that to my combat scenes. I wrote only what the point of view character experienced, and tied everything to their actions and reactions. I thought about how they breathed, how they moved, how they thought. I used those short, sharp sentences as they processed the scene.
That doesn’t mean I forgot about everything else going on in the scene. That’s impossible. After all, in any story the things the character doesn’t pay attention to might be as important as the things they do focus on. Stuff still happens, and there is still fallout. I needed to know what else was happening so that if the character moved from one place to another, or did something that put them in the path of a different part of the action, I could have them start processing it.
But it also meant that on the page, out of sight was out of mind. Everything narrowed down to the now. The immediacy. Suddenly my combat scenes snapped into focus.
During the panel at Boskone, all of the panelists had experience with different fighting styles (fencing, street combat, and of course, me with taekwondo). I spoke about how for me, that narrow focus is very real when I spar. I know there are some people who naturally see a move or two ahead while fighting; I don’t. I am stuck in act and react mode. Can I kick them now? Can I attempt a head shot? Oh, no, circle back and away or they’re going to hit me… that’s how my brain works during a sparring match.
It’s not like a total blackout—there should be a vague awareness of things around the character. Sounds in particular, or sometimes flashes of movement. Something distracting can catch the attention of the fighter, but the personal fight will always pull the character back.
Combat feels easy when I’m writing like that.
Of course, there’s still the question of writing about something if I’ve never experienced it. As someone did point out to me: I am not a gay man, so how does that affect writing sex scenes? I’ve also never fought with a sword. Brawled. Fought from horseback. I have, however, held a blade, shot a gun, shot an arrow, rode a horse. I have a vague idea of how these things work, much like I have a working knowledge of sex in general.
So yes, research gets involved. Sometimes research is observational, sometimes it’s reading (there’s so much good stuff out there). I highly recommend video for combat scenes—find things that have the feel that you’re going for, then put yourself in the place of the character you want to write about. Practice. Work through the ideas of how things fit together, and what your character will (and will not!) know during the fight.
If you need to, stand up and block the scene by thinking about how you would experience it. What can you see, and what is out of sight? If someone is coming at you with a blade, what are your options? How do height differences affect you? Yes, I have asked friends and husband to help me block scenes.
“Stand right there and show me what it looks like if you punch me. Okay, so if I do this then…” Yeah. It’s a thing. But it works.
When doing your research, remember that movie fighting (and hell, movie sex scenes) isn’t realistic. It’s meant to look good. For combat, if you can find re-enactments, or sparring videos, I highly recommend taking a look at those.
Anyway, the point is: I don’t have to have shot someone, and I don’t have to have had gay sex in order to write about them. What I do need to know is how it feels emotionally to do those things, and I can extrapolate that from what I do know. I need to know enough about the details so I can get it right, and that’s where research will help me. Also, use language to create emotion. Because emotions are where we grab the reader, and how we pull them into the scene.
Combat and sex aren’t so different when it comes to writing, and the personal experience. Now, go forth and write!
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i was listed in the original transandrophobia truthers blocklist by transmisogyny/-/explained. i was 15 with a tiny blog of 6 followers and i had only dipped my toe into transandrophobia theory and reblogged like 4 posts about it. i woke up one day to over 200 followers and saw that i had been tagged in the blocklist. i appeared in the second tmra blocklist too, but not in any others. but like it shook me enough to basically shut me up about transandrophobia. i suffer from mild paranoia but suddenly exploding in recognition triggered a bad paranoia episode. i had lots of harassing anons and i didn't know what to do. i was on tumblr to have fun, i saw someone talking about the specific challenges transmascs face and it really resonated with me so i reblogged a few posts about it, i had zero idea how much drama surrounded transandrophobia until i was in the fucking blocklist. and now i can't speak about it on my blog because of the paranoia it triggers.
transradfems are saying that callout posts against them are transmisogynistic but then the tmra blocklists have hundreds if not thousands of notes and bully people like me into shutting up. it's so hypocritical
I'm sorry, I know what it's like to have paranoia stuck in you real deep after you've been harassed like that. I'm still dealing with what I went through on Tumblr over a decade ago. Your voice matters and I hope you feel comfortable expressing your opinions in the future, but even if you keep your head down you're still a good person who didn't deserve the scars they gave you.
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plagiarism in the bg3 fandom
disclaimer: this post should not be taken as a springboard to harrass anyone involved.
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as i've stated previously, i didn't want to make this post because i have a lot going on in real life, but i have been watching this being done to others and myself for months now and i can't not speak about my experience anymore.
laiostoudenn (prev urls: lathanderr/spellbooking/wizardblood) is a plagiarist and he has a history of stealing from other creators like @minthara, @mercymaker, @onewingedangels and others.
in this post, i, finally and after much and long deliberation, want to add my voice to theirs.
i'll try to give a chronological overview of what happened as i have come to experience it, through others and myself, and as condensed as possible and to make it easier for myself to tell:
the story
i became aware of this new blog after he @ me and he messaged me. he's been following me. i was slow to engage because i have a lot of things going on in my real life that cost me a lot of energy during the day. i have also grown cautious of too quickly becoming close to strangers online. i became aware, however, that he had been doing this with multiple bigger creators in this space, like my friend @hawke, who is also a creator in the bg3 space, and who has experienced the same behaviour. they asked me if i knew him and i replied that i did not.
that was it for me at that point and i didn't engage much beyond that because i didn't know him and i thought nothing of it - until later.
during that time, whenever i saw his creations pop up increasingly, either in the tags or on my dash, i noticed more and more that they looked familiar to the works of others, from @minthara, to @mercymaker, to @onewingedangels and other creators, including myself.
it was then confirmed that i wasn't simply imagining things when, months ago, two creators were brave enough to speak up about the fact that he has been plagiarising gifsets and edits from them:
@minthara and @mercymaker:
@onewingedangels original set posted on 31st december 2023:
his set posted on 29th january 2024 (now deleted):
this was done without consent, and after he had already copied prior sets from @onewingedangels.
i would greatly recommend reading the posts shared above, and looking at the examples provided in it, so that you get a clear picture of what's happening here. it's not one isolated incident.
if you take a look at the notes in the post, you can also see other creators speaking about their experiences.
@minthara has recently also uploaded a google docs with the screenshots of the sets stolen from them because they either have been deleted, or lead to nothing due to now multiple url changes.
i was made aware today that he, following the first posts detailing @minthara and @mercymaker's experiences, apologised at first and admitted to what he's been doing on 31st march 2024:
but sadly, this wasn't to last, and the opportunity to learn and grow wasn't taken.
instead what happened was now painted as "bullying" from other creators, as "clique" behaviour and as "gatekeeping", despite many of us operating independently from each other. i, myself, have only started speaking to one other creator involved now that i have noticed the stealing and copying still ongoing.
i have in my time on this website never gatekept anything. i have shared metas, gifsets, creations, mods, art, tutorials, and many other things freely.
but back to the matter at hand: after he has been trying to ingratiate himself to me for some time now, following me, unfollowing me, and refollowing me again until i blocked him for my own mental health, i tried to remain civil before this point, engaging rarely if at all, hoping everything would go away on its own - which was a mistake in hindsight, i realise - i noticed that once again he's been lifting entire concepts and frame-by-frame gifs and sets from me.
things that he now claims - likely after he has been made aware of my prior personal posts and @minthara and @mercymaker's post circulating again by being reblogged by other people who have been affected) - were simply "remade" or "expanded" upon, that he may have been "subconsciously" influenced, while simultaneously claiming that he didn't know these sets existed in the first place, that he came up with the ideas independently, and that it's simply inevitable to use the same scenes because it's a limited game.
this doesn't hold up under scrutiny, however.
i want to make clear that i very much understand and that i am acutely aware that i do not own scenes and i do not own mods or outfits. however, what i do like to pride myself on is coming up with concepts and scene choices and captions accompanying these concepts that are unique, inspired by my metas, headcanons pertaining to gale and my own ocs altonaufein and karl, all of which i have seen copied by him several times now.
this is not as simple as simply gifing the same lines of dialogue from a scene as he and others supporting him are now postulating and i want to make that very, very clear.
another reason why this statement doesn't hold up under any scrutiny and, what ultimately confirmed my suspicion that he has been copying me, was when he - after the first post exposing his behaviour by @minthara and @mercymaker was made - reached out to me, asking if it it's ok to copy a gifset i made (note: again, this happened after he was called out for plagiarising the first time):
i didn't respond quickly enough, so he went ahead and posted it without waiting for my response (the response i gave him is pictured above and for transparancy, i responded about a day later bc of work and irl obligations).
below you can see the stolen post and what i managed to save from it:
the set was a 1:1 copy. he wanted a version for his oc so bad that he went ahead and stole my concept anyhow, without even waiting for the permission he asked for.
he went to take it down after my reply, made cautious most likely by his still fresh callout done in march 2024 by @minthara and @mercymaker, and i thought the issue was resolved and it wouldn't happen again, that he wouldn't take again without asking, despite having been told not only by myself, but by other creators as well, no. we are not comfortable.
but no. he "remade" the set, switching out gifs while complaining about how he "had to make it original":
my set in question was made on 1st february 2024, he reached out to me on 22nd april 2024 to "remake" the set. he is well aware of the existence of these ideas and concepts and sets he wants to copy, underlined by the need to ask for permission when it's simply too obvious to otherwise deny.
it's no coincidence.
like others have had the experience, i too noticed that he often would not engage with content he planned on stealing or did go through with stealing. he would sometimes present it as his own "remake" of a set he did, of another he was "inspired" or wanted to "expand upon", sometimes crediting, sometimes crediting someone largely unrelated, sometimes and, more often, not crediting.
as i mentioned above, this was not the first and not the only set/concept, which he copied from me - whether that was before asking or after asking, or not asking at all, if it was ok to copy.
i use this example mainly to show a clear pattern of behaviour that exists across the board: he takes concepts from other creators and inserts his own oc and/or favourite character into it because he wants a version of it so very badly. it does not matter if said creator might be hurt, if they told him no, or if they exposed his behaviour before. it doesn't matter how old the set is or how recent.
it is still going on today, the only difference is that he has stopped asking at all once again.
my story completely echoes that of @minthara and @mercymaker's.
concrete examples
i will now go into more detail about the concept sets he's been copying, include the caption or quote attached to it. i'm sorry that these will not be in chronological fashion. i will add at a later point, just like @minthara has done, a google document to better do side by side comparisons, highlight the similarities visually even more, and preserve some of the sets, which have now been deleted by him as recently as today:
the theme of hands in gale's romance
-> mine posted on 23rd september 2023
versus
-> his 1 posted on 24th february 2024
-> his 2 posted on 17th june 2024
i want to preface this by saying that the theme of hands was and still is incredibly important to story of my oc altonaufein and has concept of romance with gale. again, while i do not own these scenes, i wished to highlight a theme that i identified as poignant and profound within the relationship context. it's also why i added the poetry and quotes accompanying the set.
notice how even the caption format matches. the only thing lacking are my quotes / poems.
the format matches almost entirely: gifs from the same scenes (pulling gale out of the portal, the bench scene in an illusionary waterdeep, the astral sea scene, the boat scene, and more of the boat scene). the only thing that was added in this gifset are scenes that weren't available to me back then, namely the updated proposal scene, the kisses patches, and the epilogue as they came out well after i made my original gifset.
the second re-make even contains a gif that's not only the same minute detail of a larger scene - one that anyone who played gale's romance knows contains a multitude of other parts that could have been used - but also the same frames:
mine vs his:
i suppose adding that one to the original post with the same format i had chosen for mine would have made it too obvious, but that is only speculation.
gale + missing waterdeep/home
-> mine posted on 30th september 2023
versus
-> his (deleted on 18th july 2024) so i will have to include screenshots so you may compare:
same caption format, overlapping scenes chosen, only new additions are of content that wasn't available to me back when i first made my original set (the epilogue, kiss patches and proposal scene).
an attempt at "credit" even though he is only referencing my tags on an entirely separate set of a different creator, not the concept i came up with in my original set months prior.
and even though i have told him no before, just like others have told him no before.
i think it speaks volumes that this set is now, like some others, have been suddenly and coincidentally deleted.
gale of waterdeep vs gale dekarios
-> mine posted on 20th november 2023
versus
-> his posted on 13th may 2024
the concept is entirely the same, the scenes are largely overlapping, again, the caption format is almost entirely identical, with the sole difference of me including the full quote and devnotes as i'm wont to do.
gale + i love you
-> mine posted 16th september 2023
versus
-> his 2 (a "remake" of an "older" set of "his") posted on 13th may 2024
again, the concept is entirely the same, it's same caption format, the scenes largely overlap, some of the gifs added that were not available to me when i made my set (which, again, would include the epilogue, kisses patches, and the updated proposal scene).
mermay gale
-> mine posted on 13th may 2024
versus
-> his posted on 21st may 2024
it's the same concept again, the caption format is similar, it's the same setting (camp at baldur's gate), the same armour, the same armour tint, the same 3/4 pose except mirrored, and, this time, his tags were inspired too:
my tag: #i have the worst art block still and virtually no time but i still wanted to do smth for mermay so have this
his tag: #i can't do art so heres my mermay contribution i guess
copied oc post
-> mine posted on (likely) 30th september 2021
versus
-> his originally posted on may 7th 2024, which has also now been deleted on 18th july 2024:
the only thing different was the font. sadly, i deleted my oc post since i have redesigned some of them and wanted to make an updated version of it in the future.
thankfully i found the link on my friends blog, @ayrennaranaaldmeri.
as you can see, all of these happened after the first cases of plagiarism and after i personally told him that i'm not comfortable with him "remaking" my concept sets as his.
conclusion
there are many other sets that i suspect have been copied or plagiarised, i want to remain objective, however, and include the ones i feel are the most damning examples, supported by the fact that he has been deleting some of them today while again, trying to set up his narrative to his audience.
again, i want to highlight the pattern is here with him. my post is not the first, my suspicious are the first.
he knows what he is doing wrong, highlighted by the fact of trying to ask for permission, by deleting sets in question, by, at first, apologising, whilst now talking about "gatekeeping", "bullying", "inevitable repeats of scenes", "taking inspiration", "scrolling by", being "subconsciously" influenced, etc.
as a conclusion, i can say nothing more on this topic other than that i'm very sad. it doesn't give me joy. it stressed me immensely then and it still does now. i wish he'd have taken the already admitted wrong-doing to heart and grown from it, instead of attempting to change the narrative and doubling down on his past behaviour, not examining what he has done and is doing several times over by now.
i have blocked him now, as have done many others, and will not engage further with him. we have been through this before and at this point, i don't think he will change.
what i do very much hope, however, is that this is the last i hear of this happening.
edit:
updated the links to lead to his "archive" so you can access the stolen sets that he still hasn't deleted and seems to have no intentions of doing so.
#again do not use this post to harrass anyone involved please#that is not the intent of my post#the intent is to spread awareness#the post is so detailed so what happened and what was said cannot be misconstrued#text: personal
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A Change in Attitude (Wolverine x Fem!Reader)
𐙚 prompt: everyone knows logan as the gruff man with a grumpy demeanor. but that changes when you’re around 𐙚 cw: sexually suggestive themes (no smut), kinda innocent!reader, dirty minded!logan (heheh i couldn’t resist), can’t think of anything else 𐙚 a/n: thanks for the req! <33 only proofread once bc i was so excited to post hehe
18+ blog!! you are responsible for your own media consumption. if any of the above makes you uncomfortable, do not proceed.
“I’m so glad you accepted my invitation. Well, Charles’ invitation.” Hank was beaming, giving you a tight hug.
“Me too! Being a research assistant isn’t as fun as being an X-Men.” You gushed.
You and Hank had been friends for years, meeting when you were just kids. Your powers developed around the same time, making you lean on each other, since no one else could relate. Recently, he and Charles asked you to join the team, and you excitedly accepted. Who would turn down an opportunity like this?
You didn’t know much about the others, just what Hank told you, which was really just their names and powers, not their personality.
You walked into the building, taking a deep breath and accepting that this would be your life from here on out.
“Everyone’s in Charles’ office.” Hank made you aware. You nodded as he led you there.
Walking inside the office, you saw everyone for the first time. Colossus, Storm, Gambit, Cyclops… and Wolverine.
Logan was looking out the window, not paying attention to anything, while everyone else was thrilled to have a new team member.
“Ah, welcome, (Y/N)!” Charles greeted you. He introduced himself, as if you didn’t already know who he was. He went around the room and also introduced all the X-Men. When he said Logan’s name, he finally looked at you, and your stomach made you feel like you were on a rollercoaster just from his eye contact.
“I was thinking, we could all go out back and give a short demonstration of our powers. Does that sound alright to you?” Charles was so polite.
“Yes, that sounds perfect, Professor.” You smiled brightly.
As everyone shuffled their way to the yard, you caught Logan’s eye again. His frown and furrowed brow faded as he watched you walk outside, staring at you. You blushed, hiding your smile by turning away.
Once outside, everyone spread apart and prepared to show you their powers. They each did a speedy presentation, just showing you what they can do, or explaining their abilities. You cheered for everyone, wowed by what they could do! Yet again, Logan went last.
He stepped forward. “I have regenerative abilities. Oh, and these.” In a flash, he unsheathed his metal claws.
It took your breath away for a moment. “Nice! Very impressive.”
He nodded in thanks, returning to his original spot.
“Your turn, (Y/N).” Hank tapped your shoulder.
“Oh, yeah. Um.. My ability is bioluminescence. My hair glows on command, and I can create and throw light. It’s kinda similar to a ball of fire.” You placed your hands together, generating a small ball of light, before throwing it at a target in the yard, hitting a bullseye. The light ripped right through the fabric mark.
You got a few “oo’s” and “ahh’s” from the others, and from some of the students passing by.
“So that’s why your hair is blue! It’s so pretty.” Ororo ran over to you.
“Thanks! I like your hair too.” You smiled at her. You glanced at Logan to see his reaction, and he was already staring at you (again), with a smirk on his face.
“Amazing! So, (Y/N), tomorrow I want you to focus on combat training. While your ability is powerful, you might not always be able to rely on it. So, Logan will train you one-on-one, since he’s our best fighter. I want to see you two together at 8am in the training facility.”
“Yes sir.” You bowed your head in understanding.
The other X-Men dispersed, besides Hank and Logan.
“C’mon, I’ll show you to your room.” Logan walks over to you.
“Uh-” Before you could answer, Hank interjected.
“I’ve got it, Logan.” He replied.
“We’re gonna be training together anyway, might as well show her around. Get to know her.”
“Since when do you ‘get to know’ anyone?”
“Since now. Beat it, bub.”
Hank muttered a quick “I’ll catch up with you later.” And left you to the Wolverine himself.
Logan took you on a tour of the mansion, showing you just about every room. You had already forgotten where everything was by the end of it, besides the more important rooms. Throughout the tour, Logan was joking around with you, which you thought was strange. Not in a bad way! Just from his demeanor, you didn’t expect him to be the joking type, but you suppose you read him wrong when you first met. He was cracking you up throughout the entire tour.
Lastly, he led you down a long hallway. “The bathroom’s right here. It’s shared, so lock the door.” He winked. “And this is your room.” It was the last one on the right.
“Where’s your room?” You asked, and he pointed to the door right across from yours. “Oh! Convenient.” You laughed, thinking since you two were paired together, it was funny your rooms were next to each others; You didn’t even realize how it could come across as suggestive. He hid his smug grin.
You walked inside. The room was perfect for you. A nice bed, a closet, wardrobe, mirror, and a big window. There was also a small TV mounted to the wall. It’s all you could have asked for.
“Thanks for the tour!” You said as you walked over to your bags. Assuming Logan would leave you be, you started to unpack.
You pulled out the first packing cube in your suitcase, which just so happened to be filled with your underwear. You opened the wardrobe drawer and started to put away your panties.
“Y’need help unpacking?” You heard Logan’s gruff voice right behind you, making you jump.
“I-” You put your hands behind your back, hiding your underwear. “No, thank you.” A rose tint made its way to your cheeks.
“It’s nothin’ to be embarrassed of. We all wear underwear. You just happen to wear panties with little pink bows on them.” He winked at you.
“Oh my God.” You whisper, “I-I’m good. Thank you, Logan.” You usher him to the door.
“You sure? No matching bra I can help you put away?” He jested.
“Nope! No thank you! I’ll see you tomorrow!” You ushered him out, shutting the door, putting your back against it, and sighing.
Once you had most of your clothes put away, it was already 10pm. You didn’t eat dinner, since you felt too awkward to face Logan after the event that took place earlier. You just decided to take a quick shower, then head to bed.
You grabbed your essentials and went to the bathroom. The halls were quiet and dark, letting you know everyone else was likely already asleep. You showered quickly, wanting to rest up since you had combat training in the morning. Rushing through your routine, you were done in about fifteen minutes.
As you wrapped your towel around your body, you realized you forgot to bring your pajamas into the bathroom.
You groaned in frustration, but assumed it was fine since everyone was already away in their rooms. You grabbed your things and decided to make a run for it. Your room wasn’t too far from the bathroom. You unlocked the door, swinging it open and running— before knocking into something so hard, it made you fall backwards.
“Huh?” You hear a rough voice grunt out. Logan.
Of course it’s him.
You quickly repositioned your towel to cover yourself, while he turned around, confused. Looking down at you, he laughed.
“Are you okay?”
“I forgot my clothes…” You ignored his question, and completely forgot to ask why he’s standing in the middle of the hallway at night.. He offered his hand and you accepted, pulling you up like you weighed nothing. It was impressive. He leaned down, grabbing your shampoo and such for you, while you scurried off to your room. He followed right behind you.
“Sorry.” You apologize, as he sets your things on your dresser.
“Are you okay?” He asked again.
“Mhm, I’m fine. Thank you.”
You two stood there, for what felt like forever, staring at each other, only illuminated by the moonlight shining through your open window. You could use your powers right now, to glow, and light up the room, but you weren’t sure you wanted him to see you in a towel.
“I’m gonna get dressed now.” You break the silence.
“Oh, yeah. Goodnight, (Y/N).” He looked pleased.
“Goodnight, Logan.”
***
You’ve been tossing and turning in your bed for hours, with it now being 1am. You didn’t know why you couldn’t sleep; a new place, the thought of spending alone time with Logan in a few short hours, or the fact that your stomach pinged in pain from not eating dinner.
After wrestling with your thoughts, you decided to go downstairs to the kitchen and get a snack. Just a quick one, to settle your stomach.
You slipped out of your room and headed straight for the pantry. There were dried berries, nuts, jerky; lots of healthy options. You grabbed a small package of trail mix and sat at the bar, tearing it open immediately.
Lost in your snack, you didn’t even see Logan enter the kitchen.
“Shouldn’t you be asleep?” His voice startled you, making you yelp in fear. “Wasn’t trying to scare you, doll.” He laughed.
The nickname made your stomach flip. “I didn’t eat dinner, and I couldn’t go to bed.”
“S’alright. Just messing with you. But you should be sleeping. How else are you gonna take me tomorrow?”
“You mean ‘take you on’?” You emphasized.
“Yeah. Sure... Cute PJ’s.”
You looked down at your clothes; an oversized t-shirt and red plaid shorts. “Ha ha. Thanks.” You responded, sarcastically.
“C’mon, you can finish your snack in your room. You need to sleep.” He helped you up from the stool and walked you to your bedroom.
Once he turned around to go to his own bed, you said “Goodnight, Lo.” Giving him a nickname, since he gave you one.
He stopped in his tracks, and turned around. The smile on his face was something you could stare at forever.
“Goodnight, doll.”
***
The alarm on your phone woke you up, after the few short hours you slept. You dragged yourself out of bed and slipped on a tank top and Nike shorts. Then, you went to the bathroom; brushed your hair, teeth and freshened up before heading to breakfast.
Once you entered the kitchen, there was a lot of people— X-Men, teachers, and students alike. Only the X-Men, who were grouped at a table in the corner, noticed your appearance. Ororo waved you over, so you swiftly grabbed something to eat, and sat down next to her.
“G’morning!” You said, cheerfully, trying to hide your sleepiness.
They all greeted you back.
“How’d you sleep?” Ororo asked, making you glance towards Logan, who was trying to hide his laughter.
“Eh. I couldn’t really.” You shrugged. “Just nerves, I guess.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That’s terrible, especially since you have to train with Claws over there. He doesn't really take it easy on anyone.” She jokes.
“Don’t worry. I’ll loosen up, just for today.” He had a satirical tone in his voice.
“Aw! Claws has got a heart today, huh!” Ororo laughed.
“Just for (Y/N).” He stood up, taking his now-empty plate over to the sink. You ate quickly, wanting to get a start on your day. Logan noticed your clear bowl, which a few moments ago was inhabited by fruit.
“Let’s go! We’ve got a lot to work on.” His tone was dramatic, teasing.
“Okay, Lo. I’m coming.” You stood from your seat.
Everyone looked at you like you had just sprouted another limb from your forehead.
“What?”
“Nothing.” Hank replied hastily, “Have fun.”
“C’mon.” Logan wrapped an arm around your shoulders in order to hurry you out the door faster.
Walking down the endless hallways of the mansion, you two finally reached the training facility. It was a huge, open room with a tumbling mat covering the floor. On one of the walls was a huge window, looking into a room with stadium seating— no doubt to have students watch and learn.
He started you out with conditioning; jumping jacks, running laps, planking, and everything else you could think of. You had already broken into a sweat after 10 minutes due to his intense regimen.
He continued his teachings, showing you how to throw a proper punch (which he made you test out on his stomach), evading attacks, and good footwork.
“You’re pretty agile. Do you have any background in fighting? Or acrobatics?”
“Yeah, I did gymnastics for 14 years. I’d hope by now I’d be pretty nimble.” You laughed, and he had a look of awe on his face.
Hours later, you were finally putting his teachings into use.
“We’re gonna spar now. I’m not going hit you, but you’re going to really hit me. Okay?”
You looked worried, and your eyes dropped to the ground. “Uh, I don’t know—”
“Hey.” He brought your attention back up to his face. “Regenerative healing. Metal skeleton. You can’t hurt me with your fists or feet. I promise.”
You just nodded.
“So, again. Come at me with everything you got. If you manage to knock me out of the ring, you win. If I pin you down, I win. We’ll stop training for today after this.”
“Okay.” Your voice wavered.
You two walk over to the mat with a big, white circle on it, and stand on opposite sides.
“Ready?” He cocks his head with the faintest smirk on his face, knowing you had just about no chance of winning. Of course you were unaware of that.
“Mhm!”
“Set. Go!”
He immediately runs at you, and the first thing you can think of is to kick his side. You raised your leg, and struck his ribs as hard as you could.
Quickly, so quick you didn’t understand what was happening, he grabbed your leg and pulled, sweeping your legs out from under you. You landed on the ground with a thud. It shocked you, unable to think for a moment.
But that moment was all it took for Logan to pin you to the ground, straddling your stomach. You tried to wiggle your way free, pushing his body with all your might, but it was no use. You were immobile.
You tapped his shoulder, signaling your loss. He got up and extended a hand to help you.
“I thought you said you were gonna go easy on me.” You fake-pouted.
“Oh, c’mon doll.” He grinned, “You did good. We’ll keep working on training tomorrow, okay? Same time.”
You nodded, right as you heard the doors behind you open to show Hank.
“Hey, (Y/N). Do you wanna eat dinner with me?”
“Ah, yes!” You jumped with enthusiasm. “We have some catching up to do.”
“Cool. Is she good to go?”
“Yeah, fine. Good work today.”
“Thanks, Lo!” You ran off with Hank, needing to shower and get ready.
***
“So, how’d today go?” He asked, taking a bite of his food. He ended up taking you to a really nice restaurant to congratulate you on your first day.
“So good! I feel like Lo taught me a lot, honestly.”
“Before I forget, did Logan ask you to call him ‘Lo’?”
“Uh.. no? Why?” You worried.
“It’s just… Logan is really friendly with anyone. He doesn’t do jokes or nicknames. It’s a little shocking you called him ‘Lo’ and his claws didn’t immediately come out.” He laughed.
His words left you even more confused. Hates joking around and nicknames? That’s the opposite of how he acts around you.
“But, he plays around with me? And he called me a nickname first. I thought he was okay with it.” You were nervous that the nickname you’d given him had somehow upset him…
“Yeah, that’s why it’s so.. out of the norm. Maybe he’s got a crush on you.” Hank’s voice dripped in mischief.
“No, that’s definitely not it. Lo’s just—” You corrected yourself. “Logan’s just like that with everyone. He doesn’t have a crush on me.” You couldn’t, didn’t, believe that someone like Logan, The Wolverine, would like you.
Hank chuckled, “(Y/N), I’ve known him for years. He isn’t like that with anyone.”
There was silence as he continued to eat, but you just sat there, butterflies in your stomach, unable to think.
“What did he call you? The nickname?” He asked, casually.
“Doll.” You mumbled, barely audible, embarrassed.
He nearly choked on his food, “And you think he doesn’t like you?”
“No…I think he was just being nice.” You responded, genuinely.
“Yeah... Okay.”
You finished your dinner with Hank, changing the subject and ignoring talking about Logan altogether, and just catching up with each other. You indulged in a few drinks, which was probably a mistake. You were not really a drinker, and definitely a lightweight, leaving you more than tipsy as you left for the mansion. It was late when you finally arrived, and most everyone was asleep.
You two both headed for your rooms. You quickly changed into another oversized tee and crawled into bed. But just like the night before, you couldn’t sleep. This time, for a different reason. It was definitely the alcohol talking but you needed to talk to Logan.
You threw on a pair of shorts and snuck out of your room. His door was closed, so you knocked. With no response, you quietly turned his doorknob. Once open, you saw him, asleep. His messy hair, in combination with his bare torso being exposed, made you feel sick.
In a good way…
In the best way…
You tiptoed over and shook his shoulder. “Logan. Wake up.”
He didn’t budge. “Looogaaann!” You whisper-shouted, and immediately you heard metal unsheathing.
His eyes flew open, “(Y/N)!” His claws retracted. “What are you doing? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” His panicked state made him stutter out his words.
“Shh! You’re so loud. You’re gonna wake up the whole neighborhood. M’fine.”
“Are- Are you drunk?” He rubbed his eyes in confusion.
“Hehe.. Maybe. I needed to talk to you, though.”
“What’s wrong, doll?” He scooted over and patted the edge of his bed, wanting you to sit. You followed his order.
“Nothin’. Do you not want me to call you ‘Lo’?” Your words slurred.
“What? No, I like it.” He grinned but his brows were still furrowed in perplexity. “Why do you ask?”
“Hank said you don’t like nicknames. Or jokes! But we joke!”
“Don’t listen to him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”
“He said you have a crush on me.”
He held his breath, “Okay, maybe he does know what he’s talking about.”
“Y-You like me?” You hiccuped.
“Of course. How could I not?”
“I like you, too.” You whispered, almost scared of him hearing you.
“You do? Not just because you're drunk?” He quipped, pushing your hair over your shoulder and exposing your neck.
“Definitely not just because I’m drunk.”
You made your hair glow, wanting to see his face more clearly; wanting to study his expression, and never forget this moment with him.
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