#if you saw me post this no u didnt. i forgot leaning in to her

[phregnancy]

it never ends

[oscar-lettjohanssonloveme]

Little Sunshine (Miss Venable x reader x Alice Macray)

okay..hi :) this is reallyyyy long xD And its the story of this 3 cuties and how they fell in love with each other.. Well, its a little bit like the 3. part of “purple roses” (purple roses u can find here: https://littlejeaniehugsbumblebees.tumblr.com/post/640902350735818752/purple-roses-ms-venable-x-reader ) 

I know, that there is no second part online today, but there will be! If u didnt read the first part, u dont need to, coz i wrote this fanfiction that way, that u dont have to read the first part, i guess its angst idk

anygays my english is a mess, thats why i use google translate:’)

can we just talk about the fact, how perfect alice and mina would match? Mina the hot top with all that bdsm vibes and on the other hand we got the cute and innocent Alice sksksks

I guess Mina is the protagonist of this fanfic 

A good description of your relationship would have been complicated. Because it was all incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong, you loved your girlfriends and they loved you, but sometimes when you woke up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head against your chest, you might just be confused how all of that could be possible.

And sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what your life would be like without one of your girlfriends. But you knew that you could never live without one of them, that was a fact.

You needed both to be happy, there was no other way.

Mina brought firmness and structure into your life. Thanks to her, you had developed routines for your daily routine and were no longer so distracted. And you loved the fact about her that she was more rational than emotional about things.

And every time she went on a business trip and left Alice and you at home alone, a huge mess broke out and all structures were thrown away.

You would oversleep in the morning, be late for work and your house would turn into a huge disaster and mess.

It just wouldn't work without Mina.

Alice, on the other hand, was the most innocent, gentle, and naive person you had ever met. Mina helped you solve your problems, but Alice helped you understand and accept them. In addition, Alice was incredibly cute and she was fantastic at cooking.

And whenever you needed it, she was there to hug you and tell you how much she loved you.

And the proof that it wouldn't work without Alice was the relationship you had with Mina before Alice came into your life. At the moment when everything you had with Mina broke, it seemed like God would have sent a gentle angel to save you.

----------------------

"This is going to be a new record .." you said as you leaned into the door frame to watch your girlfriend who was still working at her desk.

"What do you mean?", She lifted her gaze from her laptop in confusion to stare at you with a frown.

"You have been home for 4 hours and are still working .."

Mina sighed and rubbed her temples.

"I just have to make one phone call and then I'm done .." she muttered with her eyes closed.

"You always say that ..." you started, shaking your head. "One last phone call, one last document, one last email ... and then it's 10 p.m."

Mina was startled at your words and took a quick look at the clock on her laptop. You were right, it was 10 p.m.

"I doesn't matter ..." you sighed and turned to go back into the hallway.

"I'm going to bed, good night Wilhemina ..."

"Good night .." she replied quietly and stared after you.

Wilhemina.

That's what you called her only when you were angry.

Mina swore quietly and grabbed her phone before dialing the directory assistance number and letting it ring.

"Uhm..Hello, you're connected to the directory assistance, I'm Alice ..", came a soft female voice, which sounded a bit too happy for Mina's taste.

"I want you to find Lennox Fischer's private email address for me ..", Mina said in a commanding tone.

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment before the woman, Alice, continued.

"We have actually been closed since 6 p.m. .."

"Then you shouldn't have answered the call, could you still find this address for me?" Mina sighed and propped her chin on her palm.

"Give me a minute ... I've only been working here for a few weeks ...", Alice laughed nervously and Mina closed her eyes in annoyance.

"That's when I realize I shouldn't have told you my name .." Alice remarked after a few seconds.

"How tragic .." Mina replied ironically and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Do you have the email address?"

"I'm sorry..but what was the name again?"

"Damn it, it's not that difficult. Then why do you have this job if you can't get anything done anyway? I've rarely met someone who is as damn unqualified as you," barked Mina and slapped the table with the flat of her hand.

"You have no idea .." the other woman yelled back.

"Can you all stop being so impatient with me? I'm only human too ... And all because you're too lazy to look for it yourself and now take out your frustration on me ... I'm getting this right now not paid either, so it takes as long as it takes. And if you have a problem with it, fuck off.."

Miss Venable stared in confusion at the phone in her hand.

"Uhm, I'm sorry ..", she stammered overwhelmed.

"It's just that my girlfriend is impatiently waiting for me to finally get to bed .."

On the other end of the phone, Alice snorted.

"Yours too, yes? Get a divorce from her, even if she's just your girlfriend, it makes everything easier..You know- "

"Lennox Fischer ..", Mina interrupted the woman to bring her back to the subject.

"Oh yeah .. m'sorry .." Alice muttered and laughed nervously again. "You have to know that I got divorced from my husband two months ago and it's all a little bit complicated .."

"Aha."

"Well, I now have his email address, can you write it down? Then I'll dictate it to you .." Alice said and Mina sat down straight again to type in the email address down that Alice dictated to her on the phone.

"Good .." Alice said and sounded polite again.

"Then I thank you for your call and hope I could help you .."

Mina let out a small snort and had to grin at the strange woman.

"I have to thank you .." she muttered before hanging up and finally shutting down her laptop.

When she finally opened the door to your bedroom, you were lying with your back to her in bed and she couldn't tell whether you were still awake or already asleep. She undressed quietly and then climbed into bed behind you.

"Honey?" She whispered softly as she leaned over to gently press kisses against your exposed shoulder. "Are you still awake?"

"Nope .." you made with your eyes closed and Mina laughed quietly.

You blinked against the darkness of the room as you turned your head to face her. Your girlfriend was hunched over you naked, looking guiltily at you. After staring at her for a moment, you reached out your hand to reach behind her head and carefully pulled the hair tie out of her hair. Long red hair fell down her face and the ends of her hair tickled your cheeks.

"I'm done with everything now .." she whispered, smiling gently.

"Now is half past ten ..", your hand slid from the back of her head to her cheek to linger there.

"Now is a little bit late.."

"I know and I'm sorry .." she muttered and you could hear the regret in her voice. But a simple "sorry" wasn't enough for you anymore.

You sighed before you sat up and leaned against the headboard of the bed.

"Look, I know you have to work a lot, but sometimes it's just too much you know?"

Mina, who had also leaned against the headboard, nodded shortly before you continued.

"It's not about that the whole thing can't be healthy for you. I mean more us ... Although that might be a bit selfish, I know you love your work, but I uhm .. I don't know- you know, you work all the time and even on weekends and I know it's not your fault, but I just can't do this anymore..I'm sorry that I claim your affection so much, but I just need you and you have no time .. "

Carefully you looked over at Mina, who sadly returned your gaze.

"I'm sorry .." she whispered and grabbed your hand to pull you close to her so you could rest your head on her chest.

"I'll do better, I promise .."

"I know I'm no better myself .." you muttered as she began to comb through your hair gently.

"As a professor at this college, I have to work a lot too, but not until 10 p.m."

"I'll do better .." she repeated and you smiled before leaning over to press your lips against her cheek for a moment.

"That's all I want .." you pulled back and lay back on your side of the bed. Your girlfriend was not long in coming and lay behind you before she put an arm around you and pulled you back to her.

"What do you think if we go out after work tomorrow ..?" She whispered in your ear.

You hummed in agreement. "That's a great idea..".

"Yes?"

"Yeah .." you muttered with your eyes closed.

"Good night Mina ..".

"Good night baby .."

---------------

You slammed the car door angrily before turning around to stomp up the steps to your front door. You were angry. Very angry. After you hurried to get off work as quickly as possible, you drove to the restaurant where you had an appointment, only to wait an hour for someone who didn't come and now you drove back home and then to see Mina's car parked in the garage.

"Wilhemina fucking Venable .." you shouted as you opened the front door.

"How dare you humiliate me so much ..".

You ran to her workspace and as you expected she was sitting at her desk in front of her laptop and seemed to be working. Her brown eyes widened when she saw you angrily standing in the doorway.

"I'm so sorry ..", she stammered and got up.

"Oh of course you are .." you hissed with narrowed eyes.

"I called you 4 times while I sat in this stupid restaurant for an hour .. You can't imagine how embarrassing it was, the waiter felt so sorry for me that I didn't have to pay for my tea .. "

Your girlfriend stared helplessly at you.

"Like I said, I'm sorry, Y / N .. i was just so busy and then I forgot .."

"So do you admit you've forgotten? You know, at one point I thought you might be doing this on purpose because you think it's funny."

"I never could, I-", she began, but you raised your hand to silence her.

"The only problem is that you always do that .." you bit your lip.

"You promise me so often that you will spend time with me only to then skip it for your work .. Then just leave it straight away and I don't always have to make myself hopes, only to be disappointed ..".

"Y / N please .. I'm as good as finished .. We can still go somewhere and have dinner ..", she looked at you desperately, but you just shook your head.

"Just forget it, Mina .." you muttered before turning around to leave her workspace . She looked after you sadly before let out a frustrated moan and slumped back into her desk chair.

How could she have forgotten?

Reluctantly, she picked up her phone and dialed the directory assistance number like the night before.

"Hello, you are connected to Directory Assistance .." said the same soft voice as last night.

"Alice ..", Mina remarked and didn't really want to notice.

"Ohh you're the rude woman from last night .." Alice laughed on the other end of the phone.

"The one with the impatient girlfriend .."

"Now more likely the one with the hating girlfriend ..".

"What did you do wrong?", Mina could hear real concern in the woman's voice and that confused her. She didn't even know this woman.

"She's upset because I always move her for work .." she mumbled.

"It's not your fault if you have to work."

"Exactly! ..", Mina shouted loudly and was surprised by her own volume.

At the other end it was quiet and Mina noticed that the whole thing was more than just private right now. She cleared her throat just before continuing.

"Can you find out Leigh Chaplin's phone number for me?"

"Of course..give me a minute .." Alice muttered and Mina heard Alice tapping on the keyboard through the receiver. For a brief moment Mina thought about just hanging up. That call was quite weird and had taken on a very personal direction. But just when she really wanted to hang up, Alice began to dictate the phone number to her and she had to take notes.

--------------------

Mina had decided to make amends for what had happened a few days ago. The only problem was, whenever you had time, she couldn't. And once she was done with everything, you had to work. It was a never-ending cycle that dragged you both further and further down. And the worst part was that you both knew that and still couldn't do anything about it. She loved her work as much as you loved yours and neither of you would ever be willing to sacrifice your work for the other.

And yet Mina had decided to make it up to you and that meant for her to help you with saving time. That's why she was now at the city library to bring back the books for you that you had borrowed a few weeks ago. Actually you had your own little library in your house, because you valued books very much, but at some point all these books were read and you were both not people who read books again.

And as a college professor, you had a habit of researching books rather than the internet anyway.

Here she was now, hobbling her stick through the library building. Which turned out to be quite difficult as she was holding your books in one arm and then had to go through the big building with her stick. If she were to trip and fall, she would have no way of catching herself. Mina knew that this would probably never happen, but still she didn't like the feeling.

But of course it happened as it had to, as always in such situations. It wasn't Mina who fell, but it was one of the books that slipped out of the crook of her arm and landed with a thud on the wooden floor of the library. How much she hated that ... such situations were almost unbearable for her. Simply because it was embarrassing to know that because of her scoliosis she was unable to bend down to pick up the book herself.

She wanted to swear loudly, but she knew that a library might not be the best place for this. She poked her senselesslyn stick around on the book and tried to put it upright somehow, only to grab it. But it was useless. Of course it had to be the thickest of your books that she had dropped. Her stick seemed to be against it like a thin branch.

"Let me help you .." suddenly came a soft voice from behind her and made her flinch. Mina turned around and looked into the friendly face of a petite woman with light brown hair.

"Your book ..", the woman said when Mina didn't answer and pointed to it with an outstretched finger. Again Miss Venable didn't answer and just stared at the woman in front of her. She was 100% sure she had never seen her before, but her voice ... She knew that soft voice, she just didn't know where from.

Without hesitating for another second, the strange woman bent down and picked up the book.

"You are welcome ..", she smiled and put the book back in the crook of Mina.

"Thank you ..", Mina mumbled, still staring at the woman in front of her, confused.

"I'm sorry, but do we know each other?"

"I think I would know that..", the woman laughed and suddenly Mina knew who she was looking at.

"You're Alice .." she uttered. "Alice from directory assistance ..".

Alice's eyes widened.

"Then you must be the one with the impatient, hating girlfriend .."

Mina's pale skin turned red at the other woman's words and she began tapping the floor with her stick in an irregular rhythm, as she always did when she was nervous.

"I may have exaggerated a bit .." she muttered. "She doesn't hate me ..".

"Well, I'm glad .." Alice honestly smiled before she nodded at the books in Mina's arms with her chin. "By the way, you have a very good taste in books .."

Mina's gaze followed that of the woman in front of her and landed on the book that she had dropped.

"Oh..these aren't my books, my girlfriend read them .."

"So she has a very good taste in books ...".

Mina nodded briefly while she was still staring at Alice. The fact that she had actually met this woman was so weird that it couldn't be a coincidence.

"Uhm .. I should bring the books back .." she muttered and Alice nodded quickly.

"I can wait .." said Alice.

"So .. if you want .." she added quickly when she noticed Mina frown.

Mina narrowed her eyes while she could only stare again. Alice exuded such confidence and she was so kind, it was like she couldn't help but agree.

"Okay .." Mina muttered. "Just give me a minute ..".

Alice's eyes began to glow.

"Perfect .." she said, beaming. "I'll wait outside."

Mina nodded shortly before leaving Alice to return the books.

"Where is your car?" Mina asked Alice as she stepped out of the library.

"Oh uhm I came here on foot .." Alice muttered and Mina frowned.

"It's getting dark .." she said curtly and Alice, who obviously didn't know what to do with that remark, nodded shortly.

"I can drive you home."

Mina studied Alice's face for any dislikes, but the woman just smiled again.

"That would be nice..".

Mina nodded again before going to her car with Alice.

"Well ..", Mina began after getting into the car with Alice.

"Where do you live?" She looked at Alice from the side, who was desperately trying to put the strap over her blouse so that it wouldn't crease.

"Uhm..Woodhill Avenue ..", the woman mumbled when she was finally satisfied.

"You can't be serious ..", Mina stared at Alice, not sure whether to laugh or be upset. "We live on the same street .."

"Oh really?" Alice's eyes lit up again.

Mina just hummed in agreement before starting the car.

For a few minutes they drove through the crowded streets and neither said a word. And although something like that was usually uncomfortable, at that moment it was actually quite pleasant, at least that's what Mina thought.

"Actually we know the whole neighborhood, but I've never heard of an Alice, nor have I seen you ...", she said finally as she turned into the long street of Woodhill Avenue.

"Well .. actually I don't live there .. I think I told you that I separated from my husband and since then I've been living with my daughter ..", Alice explained and Mina didn't even need to look at her to see how the woman was uncomfortable with the topic.

"I'm sorry .." she said curtly.

"Oh no .. you know, I'm happy the way it is now, at least I'm happier than I was with Buck a few months ago ..".

Mina didn't know what to answer, so she decided not to say anything again.

"Do you know the people who live in this house?" Alice suddenly asked and pointed to the building that Mina referred to as her home. "Venable and Y / L / N are their names .. My daughter told me that everyone is afraid of them .."

Mina stared at Alice and when she realized that the woman was serious, she started to laugh.

"Is it really that bad that everyone is afraid of us?", Mina said and couldn't help but grin as she watched the eyes of the woman next to her widen.

"Wait..I- you live in the house with your girlfriend?" Alice stammered and Mina nodded.

"I'm so sorry ... God ..this embarrassing .."

Alice buried her face in her hands and stared between her fingers at the house where you lived with Mina.

"Well, it's a nice house ..", she muttered, trying to get out of this situation somehow. Mina just snorted in amusement before continuing down the street with the car.

"Which house does your daughter live in?"

"In the green one over there .." Alice muttered and Mina's eyes landed on a green low-rise building.

"Ohh your daughter is Evangeline ..", Mina remarked as she parked the car in front of the house.

"You know her?" Alice sounded confused.

Mina nodded.

"I've never really spoken to her before, but I know her .."

"Okay .." Alice frowned before reaching for the seat belt to unbuckle her.

"That's when I notice, I don't even know what your name is ..".

"Miss Venable .." Mina said curtly and bit the inside of her cheek.

"uhm..or Wilhemina .."

Alice smiled.

"Well, then thank you, Wilhemina, for taking me home .."

"Good Night, Alice ..", Mina muttered and had to smile again.

"Good Night .." Alice repeated before getting out of the car and disappearing into the green house. And Mina couldn't help but stare after her.

In her mind, for whatever reason, she was back on the day the two of you had met in the flower shop where you had been working at the time. Even then, she had wanted to smile all the time.

When Mina finally stood in front of the house for a few minutes and finally decided to go home, she felt nothing but guilty feelings and she did not know who these feelings were for: Alice, because Mina had let her go or you, because she felt exactly the same  things right now as she did when you and Mina first met.

----------------------

It was Saturday evening and Alice was on her way to the house of the interesting woman she had met in person a few days ago. Somewhere she had a guilty conscience, as it was already 10 p.m. and it was probably impolite to disturb Mina so late, but she really wanted to see Wilhemina again and at the same time she really wanted to get to know you.

She stepped onto the site of your house and hesitantly raised her hand to the bell before finally pressing her finger against the little button.

When two minutes later still nothing had moved, Alice actually wanted to turn around and go home, but then she remembered that Mina probably needed longer due to her stick and that's why she stayed. And actually a few seconds later an angry looking Mina opened the door for her.

When Alice saw Mina's angry look, she was afraid for a moment that she had more than just disturbed, but when Mina recognized her, her look softened.

"Alice .." Mina uttered happily and Alice could see the woman in front of her trying to suppress a smile, which she failed.

"Uhm..I hope I'm not bothering .." Alice gave Mina, who quickly shook her head, a bright smile.

"No .." said the woman, her face serious again. "How can I help you?"

"Uhm well, I've got something for your girlfriend .." Alice muttered as she reached into her pocket to get the book out before she passed it to Mina.

"I saw on Thursday that your friend had checked out the first part .. I thought she might want to read the second part too .. It doesn't exist in the library .."

"Oh that's nice ..", Mina picked up the book.

"But unfortunately she's not at home all weekend because of a seminar .."

Alice frowned

"Are you sure you're the one who transfers his girlfriend because of work?" She asked and watched Mina just shake her head.

"I think you have a completely wrong picture of her ..", Mina muttered and chewed her lower lip.

"Isn't that important either, do you want to come in?"

"Sure .." Alice nodded quickly and started smiling again.

When Mina led Alice into the living room, Alice couldn't help but be impressed. The walls of the great room were lined up with full bookshelves sorted in alphabetical order. A large chandelier hung from the ceiling and was not switched on because a fire was burning in a large marble fireplace. In the middle of the room was a large dark red carpet on which a dark wing chair, a couch made of the same dark fabric and a square wooden table with short table legs stood.

Alice's gaze caught on the wing chair Mina had obviously been sitting in, before Alice rang the bell. A blanket lay untidy on the seat, covered with an open book and on the table was a half-empty glass with red wine. On the edge of the glass Alice could see traces of Mina's dark lipstick.

"Excuse the chaos, please ..", she heard Mina say behind her. Alice let out a low snort.

"Chaos .." she repeated mumbling and turned to Mina. Except for the few things on the wing chair, the house seemed to have been furnished down to the last detail.

"Do you drink wine?" Asked Mina, clutching her stick with both hands.

"Sure." Alice replied curtly.

"Red or white?"

"White, please ..".

"Well, then wait here for a moment ..", Mina said before turning around to leave the room.

Alice looked after the woman briefly before going to the dark sofa to sit on it. She sat there for a moment, but then the pictures on the mantelpiece caught her eye and she got up again to walk to the fireplace to take a closer look at the pictures.

All of the pictures showed Mina and a woman Alice was unfamiliar with, but Alice was smart enough to say that it was you, Mina's girlfriend.

And she noticed that Mina was right when she said Alice had the wrong picture of you. You didn't see at all like someone that could be impatient or strict. All these pictures showed you laughing honestly, with a cocky twinkle in your eyes. And of course Mina, who, as always, tried to suppress her smile. Alice grinned at the thought.

Each picture showed a different moment, presumably dates or vacations and all in one, Alice thought that you and Mina looked cute together, at least in the photos.

"So you've already discovered Y / N's altar .." mumbled Mina, who suddenly appeared next to Alice.

"Oh yes .. It's cute ..", Alice said and took the glass of white wine, which Mina held out to her before she mumbled a little "thank you".

"I think it's rather cheesy, but it was her idea ..", Mina stared critically at the pictures and for a few seconds neither said anything.

"She's pretty .." Alice finally remarked and Mina just nodded.

"She is.."

Alice's gaze wandered carefully from the pictures to Mina, who was staring sadly down at the pictures.

"You know, I think this is what I like the most .." she suddenly mumbled and tapped an actually inconspicuous picture with her finger. It showed you both in your winter coats squinting your eyes against the flash of the selfie camera. It was also pretty blurry.

"I know it's nothing special .." Mina explained. "But the moment behind it was special ... It was New Year's Eve last year and shortly before midnight we climbed onto the roof of the skyscraper in which she lived at the time, to watch the fireworks from there. I remember exactly how she was angry when I forced her to come on the roof with me .. it was pretty cold ..

But I wanted it to be special when I propose to her .. "

Alice's eyes widened.

"Are you engaged?"

Mina shook her head and smiled sadly.

"We were engaged .. but she broke off the engagement three months ago until .. until things were settled .. You already know how complicated everything is at the moment .."

Alice looked worriedly into Mina's sad eyes before slowly nodding.

"I understand .." she said softly.

"You know, I really love her, but it's just so weird .." Mina pinched the bridge of her nose. "I met her a couple of years ago in the flower shop she worked and earned next to nothing and actually had a shitty life, and now she's been working as a professor for a college for a few months and is finally happy with that... and that is great, don't get me wrong, but we hardly have no time for each other, because now she also has to work long hours ... and it's like she pretends that it's all my fault .. "

"I'm sorry .." Alice muttered before stretching out her arms and pulling the woman into a hug. Alice felt that Mina was uncomfortable when she lay tense in her arms, but when she wanted to withdraw, Mina quickly put her arms around Alice and hugged her back. Alice put her head on Mina's shoulder and inhaled the woman's lavender perfume. They stayed that way for a few minutes, until Mina finally cleared her throat and withdrew.

"M'sorry .." she muttered without looking at Alice and Alice could see the tear marks on her face.

"We shouldn't talk about this anymore .."

Alice nodded quickly. "If I got too close to you, I'm sorry .. "

She followed Mina, who sat down on the couch and sat with enough space next to her.

"Now that you've heard my shit, I'd love to hear yours .." Mina said, giving Alice a subtle sideways look. Alice blinked a few times and thought about it for a moment. Actually, she didn't really know the woman and a divorce is not really a pleasant topic for an evening like this, but a few seconds ago Mina had stood in her arms and cried, so what was wrong with it?

"Uhm .. so I've been divorced for 2 months ..", she began and for the next two hours she told Mina the whole story with Phyllis Schlafly, the E.R.A. and that Houston had somehow opened her eyes and she'd been working on directory assistance ever since. She told Mina about her children and that she couldn't believe she was a grandma. And then she told her about Buck and that for a few years she had wondered if what she had with him was really what she wanted the rest of her life to be.

To be honest, Alice wouldn't normally have been so talkative if it wasn't because of the alcohol. She usually didn't drink, so a glass of Mina's expensive white wine was enough to get her drunk.

"You know, I only noticed now how bad that asshole was in bed ..." she laughed out loud and held onto Mina's thigh. "Well in any case our house belongs to him and I have to live with my daughter .."

Mina, who was just as sober as she was a few hours earlier, might have been a little overwhelmed by Alice's drunkenness, but somehow she found it incredibly cute.

"I'm sorry .." she muttered and Alice missed the worried look the woman was giving her.

"Yikes .." Alice suddenly made as she stared intently at the clock on the wall.

"Am I wrong or is it 14 minutes past midnight?"

Mina was shocked at her words and had to find out that it was actually that late.

"I should call your daughter, then she can pick you up ..".

"Oh let Evangeline sleep .." Alice waved her off.

"I can just sleep with you .. you know I like you, you're nice to me and don't treat me like the failure that I am. Even if you were pretty mean to me on the phone ..".

Alice grinned crookedly before leaning forward and dropping her head into Mina's lap. Mina winced and immediately got up to let Alice rudely fall back on the sofa. The drunk woman let out a low wail and looked reproachfully up at Mina.

"We should put you to bed .." she mumbled and pulled Alice into an upright position before she gently grabbed her arm and pulled her up the stairs with her.

"Uhm .. this is the guest room ...", Mina muttered as they stood in the door frame of the room. Alice stared into the beautifully decorated guest room, which was so much better than the sofa she'd slept on for months. But it wasn't what she wanted.

"You know, I can sleep with you..", she remarked and looked carefully at Mina, who seemed frozen.

"Okay .." Mina finally said before stepping out of the doorway and leading Alice into your bedroom.

A large king-size bed stood with its head against the wall and filled most of the room. One side of the bed faced the door. Alice' gaze ran to the bedside cabinet on this side of the bed and could see reading glasses, a pill box and a tube of some kind of cream next to a small lamp. She suspected that Mina slept here. The other nightstand was a lot messier. Unused kleenex were piled on top of each other while a pair of gold earrings lay on the lamp stand. On one corner of the cupboard was an empty glass, but it was definitely used. And then there was a big black hairbrush and either it was Mina's red hair that was caught in it or you had the same hair color as your girlfriend, which Alice found unlikely. On the wall next to this side of the bed was a large painting with some flowers on it. Alice's eyes wandered to a large ground plant that stood in the corner of the room. She noticed that she had seen beautiful flowers all over the house and she remembered Mina saying that you had once worked in a flower shop.

All in all it was a nice bedroom, but Alice only saw the best part when she had stepped completely into the room:

On the wall opposite the foot of the bed was a huge picture window, which allowed a view of the neighborhood and the beautiful night sky. That was the advantage if you didn't live in the city. Alice couldn't help but grin than her eyesremained hanging on the black grand piano, which crowned the bedroom on top of everything else.

"A piano in the bedroom?", She turned to Mina, grinning, who turned red for whatever reason.

"Y / N can play the piano and when I gave this one to her, she wanted it to be here ..", Mina explained and nervously began tapping the floor with her stick to a random rhythm.

"It's pretty cheesy, but you should hear her play ...".

Alice nodded quickly and put on a neutral expression again when she realized that Mina didn't like her grin.

"I imagine it would be nice to wake up in the morning and then hear the piano .." she muttered and looked back at the piano.

"Anyway ..", Mina said and held her stick tighter again.

"We're about the same size, you can have my nightgown if you want ..".

Alice turned back to her and gave the woman a grateful smile.

"That would be nice..".

Mina only nodded shortly before she left the room, only to come back a minute later in a lavender nightgown.

"I'm going to change in the bathroom while you can do this here ..", she explained as Alice took the nightgown and mumbled a little "thank you".

And less than 5 minutes later Alice, who was actually still drunk, was lying in bed next to a completely stranger and, like Mina, stared at the ceiling in silence. And yet she would have preferred nowhere and it was the first evening in weeks that she could fall asleep without any worries.

---------------------

Contrary to Mina's guess, the next morning hadn't been weird at all. Actually nothing special had happened, but Mina had been worried about Alice's drunkenness, but the woman had been kind as always.

And while everything was fine between Alice and her, she worried about what was between her and you. She felt incredibly guilty and could never have told you that a strange woman had slept in your bed. Mina knew that Alice was way too innocent to think anything about it when she and Mina shared the bed, but you didn't know Alice and you would never understand.

Miss Venable couldn't deny that the brunette had turned her head. Alice was so gentle, it was almost impossible to feel uncomfortable in her presence and Mina finally had someone who understood her and who showed her compassion.

And when you came home on Sunday night and she pushed you right against your front door to kiss you passionately, she did that not only to show you how much she had missed you, but also to prove to herself that she still loved you . Because she did, but what she felt when she saw Alice confused her feelings and it scared her.

It was Thursday afternoon and Mina was on her way home. She had tried again and again over the past few days to show you how much she loved you, but for whatever reason, that only made it worse. At least you just seemed to get a little bit more bitter every day, and she couldn't explain why.

Mina let out an aggressive growl when she sounded the horn because the light turned green and the idiot in front of her stopped driving.

She had got out of work late and now had to hurry to get home, even if she didn't really want to go there. You'd only be disappointed again because she was late again.

Nervously, she drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove home as fast as she could. She was almost in your street when she spotted none other than Alice on the pedestrian path and automatically her bad mood had flown away. Mina stopped next to Alice on the side of the road before pulling down the passenger door window to see Alice's surprised face.

"Jesus Mina .." Alice exclaimed, clutching her chest.

Mina raised an eyebrow and grinned.

"I thought church mice dont swear ..".

"Actually, I don't swear either .." Alice stammered. "But do you have any idea how scary it is when someone pulls up their car next to you?"

"So am I someone then?"

"No .. but .. you know what I mean ..".

Mina nodded curtly before leaning forward to open the passenger door.

"I guess, you want to go home?"

"Oh yes ..", Alice smiled gratefully at Mina before climbing into the car.

"So how are you Mina?" Alice asked after they had driven for a few minutes.

"M'fine ..", Mina mumbled and was well aware that she was lying.

"Good to hear .." Alice said, sounding in as good a mood as ever.

"How did Y / N find the book?"

Fuck.

Mina bit her lip.

"So uhm..I didn't give it to her..Y / N doesnt know you were with me .. "

"Oh ..", uttered the woman next to her and didn't sound that happy anymore.

"I may not be allowed to interfere, but I think you should talk to her .."

"About what?" Mina frowned.

"About how you feel .. Tell Y / N that you feel misunderstood and make it clear to her that it is not your fault ..".

Mina didn't answer and concentrated on driving again.

"You know, communication is the most important thing in a relationship, so talk to her, I think that might help .."

Great, thought Mina and bit the inside of her cheek. Talking about feelings, that was exactly her thing.

She stopped in silence next to Alice's daughter's green house.

"Thanks, Mina ..", Alice mumbled and wanted to open the car door to get out, but Mina stopped her by locking the whole car.

Alice turned to her in confusion before Mina grabbed her by the collar of her blouse, pulled her close and pressed her lips against Alice's.

Alice let out a shocked whimper and Mina immediately withdrew.

For a few seconds both women stared at each other. Alice looked totally overwhelmed and horrified, while Mina slowly realized what she had just done.

Without a word she opened the car doors and not a second later Alice jumped out of the car before running into the house.

A few minutes passed and Mina didn't move an inch. She stared at the street in front of her, trying to understand what had just happened.

All she wanted was to solve the problems between you and her and now she had kissed another woman. Damn it.

She let out a loud scream and hit the steering wheel before leaning forward to lean her forehead against it. A few more minutes passed while she cried against the leather. She hated being so emotional, right now when so many feelings were boiling in her at the same time and she couldn't define all of these things.

After she had calmed down a bit, she took a few deep breaths before starting the car and driving home.

"I'm home, baby .." she called in a thin voice after entering your house.

"Oh, finally ..", she heard you sigh before you appeared in the hallway. Your usual smile faded when you saw her and you frowned.

"What?" Mina asked nervously and chewed her lower lip.

"You have lipstick on your face ..", your voice sounded dark and made Mina nervous.

"Oh .. it must be smeared .." she said and smiled shakily.

"This is not your lipstick .."

Mina's smile froze and she stared at you.

"So you're really having an affair .." you growled and she could see tears glistening in your eyes.

"What the- Y / N..No ..", Mina's voice faltered as she watched you turn around and pointed with your finger to follow you before you led her into your study.

"If you're not having an affair, what is that ..", you opened one of your desk drawers and put a white lace bra on it.

"I found it under our bed and it can't be yours .. you're not wearing white underwear .."

Mina stared at Alice's bra hanging on your finger.

"Okay, how long?", You looked at her piercingly.

"I uhm- We dont-" Mina struggled for words and clung to her cane.

"You just can't be serious .." you yelled. "All I want is your affection and while I give everything to hang out with you, you fuck someone else?"

"I'm not having an affair, Y / N ..", Mina tried to calm you down and held up a hand.

"Oh, then explain to me why I find strange underwear under our bed and why your face is such a mess .. You know, you could have at least tried to hide the whole thing ..".

"Please let me explain ..", Mina chewed her lower lip and briefly considered what to say.

"Well I know you from the directory assistance ..-"

"Ohh, phone sex..",  you interrupted her and raised an eyebrow.

"What the hell, no y / n ..", Mina hissed.

"It turned out that she lives in the neighborhood and then she was here on Saturday and slept here, more not .."

"More not? Are you kidding me?", You spat and ran your hair through. "You let this stranger sleep in my bed and you don't tell me about it? .."

Mina didn't know how to answer it, so she just kept silent.

"Did you have sex?" You asked as you crossed your arms and chewed your lower lip.

"She never could, she-"

"Okay, I'll ask differently ..", you pinched the bridge of your nose.

"Did you want to have sex with her?"

Mina stared at you with wide eyes. In her mind she traveled back to Saturday night when she had been lying in bed next to Alice and staring at the ceiling. She remembered it well, how disgustedt she was of herself, but all she wanted to do at the moment was bend over the innocent woman to do the dirtiest things to her. Things Alice didn't even dare to dream of. All she wanted was to hear the desperate whimpering of the women and how she shouted her name.

But Mina could never have done that, partly because her loyalty was yours and partly because Alice was far too innocent for something like that.

"Wow .." you mumbled when she didn't answer.

"And then that bitch kissed you today ...?"

"Don't call her that ..", Mina defended Alice. "And besides, I kissed her ..".

"Oh..That's even better ..." you screamed as tears ran from your eyes.

"Congratulations Wilhemina, something like that is called an affair ..".

Angrily you threw the bra at Mina before you ran past her back into the hallway. Mina followed you and watched sadly as you packed your handbag with simple things.

"I'm going to see my mother .." you explained without looking at her while you put on your jacket. "I have to think about a few things ... I have no idea how long I'll be gone ... I also have no idea if I'll ever come back ...".

That was the last thing you said before you ran out of your house and left her with all the guilt.

-----------------------

You spent three weeks with your mother. Three long weeks of thinking about everything that had happened. You loved Mina so much, and the fact that there was probably someone else almost killed you. And actually you hadn't meant to come back to her, no matter that all your things were still in her house, but you were too scared that you would then have to see how she got over you and went on with her life.

After all, it was your mother who persuaded you to go to Mina to talk to her.

And now you stood in front of the door of your house and at least from the outside it looked exactly as you had left it. You bravely raised your hand to the door to knock gently on it.

And when Mina opened the door a minute later, you couldn't help but stare at her. You thought you looked like shit, but Mina topped it all. The actually proud woman was just a pile of misery when she opened the door for you that day. The red hair curled untidily over the fabric of her pajamas as she trembled on her stick. She was obviously in pain and probably hadn't taken her pills, something you usually reminded her of. You looked carefully into her face, which seemed even paler than usual, and noticed how she squinted her eyes against the sunlight, she didn't seem to have left the house for a long time.

For a moment you both stared at each other and you felt guilt creep up inside you.

"Can I come in?" You finally asked and looked carefully into her cloudy eyes that were staring down at you. Mina nodded slowly.

"It's your home ..." she muttered before stepping out of the doorway and hobbling into the living room. Without hesitation you ran after her after the door had closed behind you. You sat down next to Mina, who was staring into the empty fireplace, on the couch and also stared at the fireplace, but your attention was focused on the photos on the mantelpiece.

"You didn't take your pills .." you mumbled and she just hummed in agreement.

"..uhm, how are you?" you tried again before carefully looking at her from the side.

"M'great .." she muttered.

"Okay.."

"And how are you?" She asked while she was still staring into the fireplace.

"I'm great too."

Mina snorted.

"So we're both liars."

You ignored her comment and got to the real reason you came.

"Okay Mina, uhm i dont know- So about this woman .. I don't know what you had or just didn't have with her ..-"

"I had nothing with her ..", she interrupted you with a growl.

"You understand that I can understand that pretty badly?", You bit your lower lip and watched as Mina shook her head.

"I think you should get to know her .." she muttered and you frowned.

"So are you still in contact with her?"

Mina shrugged her shoulders.

"You should get to know her," she repeated.

"Okay .." you raised both hands in surrender. "Tell me when and where and I'll be there ..".

"Are you coming home then?" She whispered as she finally turned away from the fireplace and her injured eyes met yours.

"I .. I don't know ..", you stammered. "Please let me get to know this woman first .."

Mina nodded just before she got up and left the living room.

"What are you doing?" You called after her, confused.

"I'll call her .. "she muttered.

Your eyes widened.

"She's not coming here now, is she?"

"No ..", Mina called from the hallway. You didn't answer and after a few seconds you heard her talking softly to someone before she came back into the living room and stood in the doorway.

"You will meet her tomorrow in the café next to the library ..", she explained.

"Tomorrow I have to work late .."

"I know .." she said. "That's why you don't meet until 6 pm .."

"Okay .." you nodded briefly and stared at her for a few seconds.

"Uhm, I actually wanted to take some clothes with me .. For three weeks I've had to wear the shit my mother still had from me .."

"It's your home..", Mina replied shortly as she again clutched her stick with both hands.

You jumped up from the sofa to run past her up the stairs. In your dressing room you quickly packed a few clothes in an old sports bag before you turned around and actually wanted to go again, but then the white bra of this woman caught your eye, which was lost in the window sill. You knew stuffing that stupid thing in your gym bag might not be a good idea, but you would do anything to break the owner of this bra, for something to do with your girlfriend.

You ran back down the stairs where Mina was waiting for you in the hallway.

"I should go now .." you muttered as she stared at you expectantly. She nodded sadly.

"Uhm..Can I hug you?" She asked quietly and looked at you carefully.

"uh..of course ..", you nodded slowly before suddenly finding yourself in her arms again. She hugged you so tight that you were afraid you would suffocate. Her red hair tickled your face and for the first time in three weeks you could inhale her lavender perfume while she clung to you like her life depended on it.

"I am so sorry ..", she whispered and you swallowed when you felt guilty again.

"I should go now .." you repeated and withdrew from her arms.

She just nodded before you stumbled to the front door.

"Uhm..Y / N ..", she called after you when you were already out the door. You turned back to her and looked at her questioningly.

"Yes?"

"Alice didn't do anything wrong, so please don't kill her tomorrow ..".

You nodded just before turning to go to your car.

Alice.

--------------

"Damn .." you cursed as you nervously stared at your watch.

18:23

You parked your car in the library parking lot and walked briskly to the café.

Your gaze wandered through the almost empty room. Two men were sitting at a table and playing chess, an old woman was sitting in a corner and drinking coffee, and then your gaze was fixed on the graceful figure of a woman who was sitting with her back turned to you. It has to be her, you thought as you stared at her hazel hair curled up on a pastel colored blouse.

You got a little nervous when you approached her from behind.

"Uhm..Alice ..?" You asked and the woman winced slightly before turning to you and staring into her friendly eyes.

"You must be Y / N .." she said with a bright smile and got up.

"Uhm..ja .." you mumbled with a frown before you sat down across from her.

"I'm sorry ..I'm late .."

"Oh its okay .." Alice waved her hand before she sat down again. "Mina told me about your work .."

"Did she?", You looked at her confused and she just hummed in agreement.

You used the next few seconds to take in the woman in front of you and understood what Mina had meant. Alice looked so harmless and didn't fall into the category of the horny neighbor slut at all.

You cleared your throat and pointed with your index finger at the cup in front of you.

"What's this?"

"Tea," Alice said curtly. "She told me that you drink tea .."

The furrow on your forehead only got a little deeper as you pulled your eyebrows together a little further.

"She seems to have told you a lot about me .."

"I also know that you play the piano .." Alice replied, sounding kind of proud.

"She had to explain the piano in our bedroom .." you growled darkly as you remembered that this woman had slept in your bed.

"Y / N, she loves you .." she said and looked at you piercingly.

"I'm not sure about this.."

"Okay .." Alice sighed before starting to tell you the whole story from her point of view. How Mina had called her directory assistance late at night, how they met by chance in the library and how she ended up at your home on Saturday evening.

You listened to her attentively without interrupting her and with everyoneSentence made you feel a little worse because everything she said made sense.

"You must know, I never kissed a woman before and- you know ..." Alice muttered, staring at the table.

"And I thought it was a sin all my life and when Mina kissed me I wasn't really happy at first. You know, I was with her on a Tuesday two weeks ago to talk to her about it and she was really sad..- "

"Did she tell you she loves you?" You interrupt her.

"She-" Alice's voice faltered. "She apologized and said she was confused .."

You stared at her in silence.

"I don't want to offend you, Y / N, but Mina feels totally misunderstood by you .. She tries to do everything right and you reject her .. As if it was her fault that she has to work so hard .. And even if she doesn't seem like anyone that gets involved with something like that, she feels totally terrible about it all .. You didn't see how she cried when I was with her that Tuesday .. "

You looked at Alice sadly when you understood what she meant.

"Damn I'm such an idiot .." you muttered, rubbing your hair.

"There's something else, Y / N .." Alice sat up straight before continuing.

"When I was with her on Tuesday, I kissed her again ..".

Her words made you freeze.

"You did what?"

"You already understand me .." Alice said, looking at each other nervously.

"Did she kiss you or did you kiss her?"

"I kissed her."

"Okay .." you frowned.

"She loves you .." Alice repeated, putting her hand on yours.

Tears stung your eyes.

"But she loves you too ..", you croaked as you felt warm tears running down your face. Alice reached out her hand to wipe the tears from your face.

"Maybe .." she said softly. "But you mustn't be mad at her for that, it's not her fault .. Mina and I don't have an affair or anything, she loves you too much for that .."

"And do you love her?"

Alice thought for a few seconds before answering.

"I don't know to be honest .. This is all new to me, if you get what I mean .."

You nodded slowly and thought for a moment about everything she had just told you.

"I uhm .. thanks for trying to explain everything to me .." you finally said.

The woman in front of you smiled gently before taking her hand back.

"I hope you don't hate me now or anything.."

"Oh no!" You shouted loudly. "You are really kind .."

"Thank you," Alice muttered, her eyes shining a little more.

You stared at her for another moment and you could totally understand that Mina found this little sunshine attractive.

"Uhm by the way .." you started and reached into your handbag.

"I uhm .. I brought your bra .."

You put the bra on the table and pushed it over to the woman.

"Thank you .." Alice mumbled embarrassed and blushed, which made you grin.

She was really cute.

And that was your first "date" with Alice. Although one would call this educational talk less than a date. That same evening you drove back home and by home you meant Mina and not your mother's house.

The following months were more than overwhelming for you, Mina and Alice. Mina and you both applied for less working time at your work, which you also received and you had more time for each other.

That wasn't what overwhelmed you so much, the problem was, that it was pretty difficult for all 3 of you to come to terms with how you felt about each other.

After all, Mina got along best with it because she was the one of you who had been confronted with it the longest.

For her sake you accepted her love for Alice and began to meet the brunette more often and at some point you had to find out that you too were hopelessly in love with Alice.

Alice struggled with it though. The mere fact that she was in love with one woman scared her and then there were two. It was pretty hard for her to put aside all of her lesbian advantages and what her church said about you. Fortunately, Alice's children had different opinions and were glad that their mother was happy again after the divorce.

You and Mina were a little afraid of Alice's extended family, but they had all been nice to you and there was almost nothing better for you than to take care of Alice's grandchildren.

It took a while, but finally Alice also managed to get rid of her inhibitions and give herself completely to you.

And sometimes when you wake up between the two of them, when Mina had her arms wrapped around you from behind and when Alice was cuddled with her head to your chest and you were wondering how all this was even possible, you were probably the happiest person on earth at the same time.

And all you needed for that was the little sunshine in your arms while the red hair of your beautiful protector tickled your face.

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[myjjbaby]

Can I get one where y/n is kie’s adopted sister&hangs around the pogues?She takes a liking to jj.One day,when they’re swimming at John b’s,she watches jj get out of the water from afar.Kie tells her that she’s not being discreet.He catches her looking.Later that night,she goes down to the dock&helps him clean up.He says that he saw her watching him&asks why.She says that she likes him&he says he likes her too.They kiss&become a couple.Then it gets a little smuttyish.

googly eyes

author’s note - sorry i’ve been a bit awol but i needed a little time to myself but i am trying to come back. wanted to use this new post as an opportunity to thank each and every one of you for 1.5k followers because that still blows my mind. Your kindness and welcoming personalities makes me all the more excited to continue writing for you so i really cannot thank you enough. keep your eye out for a celebratory blurb night to celebrate!! and yes i will respond to my messages sorry about that :)) i didnt go v smuttyish im sorry.

synopsis - requested by @bearr12! Kie’s sister is JJ’s not so secretive secret admirer.

warnings - 1.2k of fluff and terrible writing lol also poc!reader because my masterlist is really whitewashed as i hope to continue writing more diverse posts in the future lovies

“Admiring the view, are we?”

You whipped your head to stare down Kie, your sister, sending a shock of whiplash down your spine. It was no surprise that you were staring at your blonde friend, ogling JJ’s toned arms as he pulled himself up onto the boat with marsh water dripping along his perfect golden skin. He was literally too pretty not to admire.

“Kie, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yeah, okay,” you glared her down, “m ‘just saying you aren’t exactly discreet, babe.”

Rolling your eyes at the girl, you turned back to the view and like magnets your gaze zeroed in on JJ’s beautiful self. You swore he did it on purpose, large, ring-clad fingers running through his hair as his stomach became taut with muscle from his movements.

You knew he could catch your eye at any moment but, in all honesty, that would not be the worst thing to happen in your friendship. You had been admiring the handsome boy for a while now. JJ was aware of the looks, you were sure, sending a playful wink as your cheeks flushed red. It was hard to be quiet about the literal angel that Maybank was.

Time was good on him, anyone could see that. The blonde had gone from a short, scrawny fifth grader to a well filled out, grown guy. You let yourself look over at him again, eyes hungrily taking in every section of his defined form.

“Everyone okay to head back?”

Lowering your eyes to your lap, you try ignoring the heat rising to your face and the goosebumps as JJ approached you.

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Yeah, Pops needs me home.”

“When does Heyward not need you home, Pope?”

You slapped his thigh lightly for that comment which, of course, JJ just pecked your cheek and you forgot about the whole thing.

“Shut it, JJ.”

You smirked, high fiving John B as the sky blue eyed boy pouted at you. You giggled before pinching his cheeks and laying a head on his shoulder. Kiara was sending you a raised eyebrow that was joyfully ignored as JJ’s sunkissed arms wrapped around you tightly. The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the boat ride, cuddled into each other, chuckling as the older boy whispered pickup lines in your ear.

“Hey babe, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together.”

“Oh my god JJ, will it ever end?”

“Here’s the finale,” he pulled you back into his chest as your friends unloaded the old motorboat, “do you believe in love at first sight — or do you need me to walk by again?”

“J, that one was-”

“A masterpiece?”

“The worst one yet, to be honest.”

Shaking your head at his idiocy, you climbed out of the boat and started walking towards the chateau, a slightly high, blonde on your tail.

“Wait.”

You turned back to John B who had an unamused look on his face but a teasing glint in his eye. The brunette always had something up his sleeve, especially to torture you and your love for the boy currently wrapped around you.

“Y/N, can you and JJ clean up the dock? Payback for slacking when we were packing up earlier?”

“Um, yeah, sure.”

You didn’t know whether to curse his name or send him a gift basket as the brunette walked up the lawn, leaving you and your infatuation alone, together. JJ seemed to not care about the extra labor as he approached you, wrapping a warm arm around you and walking back towards the dock. You played with his long, ring-clad fingers, the ones pressed into your tummy, admiring the contrast between his golden skin and your mahogany tones.

“Whatcha’ thinking about?”

Your eyes snapped up to find his back to you as he collected the trash strewn around the ‘HMS Pogue.’ You had settled on the little bench JJ had made a few years back.

“Nothing.”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

You hummed, looking up to catch his gaze aimed at you. His familiar playful smirk was now substituted for a soft, endearing look. This one was reserved for you, you were sure, JJ always wanted to know everything about and he knew most things, but not this.

“J…”

“Baby,” he was now kneeling between your thighs, strong thumb holding your chin so you’d have to look at him, “I hate it when you keep something from me.”

“It’s nothing, I swear.”

“Baby-”

“Drop it.”

JJ stared up at you with earnest blue eyes. You were so close to cracking and telling him how you couldn’t help but fall for him, it’s not like he made it easy to not. His grip dropped from your face, palming your dark-skinned hand in his instead.

“Shouldn’t we get back to cleaning?”

Your voice was light, cautious as you tried to control your racing heartbeat, smiling down at him and trying to lift some of the tension. He shrugged it off before gazing back at you.

“I want to talk to you, actually.”

Your heart stopped.

“About what?”

“Me and you.”

“What about us?”

He smiled cheekily before leaning up towards you, hands settling on either side of your body. The tip of his nose almost brushing yours and his familiar minty gum breath caressing against your toned, brown skin.

“I see your staring, doll.”

You dropped your eyes, heat flushing under the apples of your cheeks. Just like Kiara said, you weren’t subtle and now it’s nipping you in the ass. You could hear JJ chuckle next to your ear.

“I like making you blush up close.”

“Something wrong with seeing me flustered from far away?”

“Want to admire you, baby.”

Your eyes traveled up the spanse of his body, holding back a soft whimper when you noticed how close he was. Lips brushing against yours as he smiled. He took your breath away, like always.

“JJ? What’re you doing?”

“Kissing the girl I like.”

You didn’t have the chance to process his words before his lips were clasped to yours. His rough fingertips pressed into your cheeks as he held your face close to his. Your eyes fluttered shut and your noses bumped together when you tugged his closer by his broad shoulders.

Tracing shapes along the dark, smooth skin across your waist, JJ slipped down to the underside of your legs. A giggle escaped your lips amidst a sigh that he pulled from your throat. He lifted you up into his arms like a feather while you gripped at his soft, blonde waves, unable to get close enough to him. He pulled away slightly and chuckled as you careened closer to his touch. Pecking your lips slightly, his flushed face pressed against yours.

“Took you long enough.”

“Don’t lie, you liked my little show.”

“‘Mmm,” you hummed before pressing a chaste kiss to his pink pout, “like this more though.”

taglist: @adoreyoudrews @outerbxmalia @baby-bearie @rafestarkeyy @koufaxx @rudethchalamet @nivky0-0 @ilovejjmaybank @angellissy @iwriteimagines @fanficscuziranout @bxbyyyjocelyn @dpaccione @miawantsapuppy @ceruleanjj @mybnkjj @renicole11 @jjtheangel @jayjaymaebank @beth-winchester21 @write-from-the-heart @yeehaw87 @teenwaywardasgardian

[muwur]

haikyuu x otome: rules | masterlist | prologue

a/n: 2nd post to the hq x otome series! requests are open :) next up will be a ‘game end’ for oikawa so stay tuned ;) 

You chose:

❥ Start game with:

» gn reader

» 1.5k words (y these keep getting longer oml--)

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“Hinata, is that you?!” 

The owner of the familiar mop of orange hair screeched to a stop on his bicycle. Turning around, Hinata’s chocolate eyes widened in pleasant surprise when they landed upon your approaching figure. He hopped off his bike with a smile, walked it onto the sidewalk, and nudged its kickstand with his foot. 

“Y/n! I haven’t seen you for a week!” he replied enthusiastically as he outstretched his arms, ready to envelope you in an inviting hug. You offered him a warm smile as you gently pressed into his chest instead, unable to wrap your arms around him because of the books occupying them.  

Separating, you asked, “Where are you headed? I just finished class for the day!”

“You did? Great! I’m heading out to see a friend and grab some lunch! Do you like steamed buns?”

“Um, yeah, they’re pretty good! Why?”

“You should come along. I’ll introduce you!” 

Feeling a sudden rush of bashfulness, you unconsciously rubbed your toes into the pavement. “I’d love to, but are you sure they won’t mind? I don’t want to intrude or anything--”

A short squeak from your throat cut you off as Hinata shoved a helmet onto your head and fastened its strap under your chin. “Nah, of course not! And you’ll need this helmet; safety first! Here, let me take your books,” he spoke animatedly, taking your books and putting them in his own pack. He slung it back onto his shoulders and mounted his bike, then looked at you expectantly.

Shifting the lopsided helmet on your head, you met his gaze with a confused look. “Um, is something wrong? And why am I wearing your helmet?”

Chuckling, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Nah, nothing’s wrong. C’mon, I’m late already and my friend’s impatient! We’re going to lunch!”

“Y-You want me to get on?”

“Yeah! Like, stand on the thingy that juts out of the wheel and hold onto my shoulders.”

“Isn’t that, uh, dangerous? Especially on the street?” You wanted to trust him. You really did.

With a hand over his heart, he vowed, “I, Shoyo Hinata, promise to keep y/n safe on our journey to The Bao House.” 

Despite your uneasiness, you found yourself perched on the rear end of his bicycle. It took another few moments for you to balance yourself and secure your grip around his shoulders. “Are you sure about this?” you asked him hesitantly, looking down again at your feet to make sure they were positioned well. 

He glanced back at you, smiling. “Of course! I do this all the time. You ready?”

Sighing, you shrugged. This wasn’t the worst decision you’ve made in your life before. “As I’ll ever be. Let’s go!” 

At your cue, he trudged forward slowly, the bike wobbling slightly as he adjusted to pedaling with an additional passenger in the back. 

“W-Woah, Hinata, c-careful..!” you yelped, leaning down to fasten your hold on your friend. 

“Don’t worry, I got you!” he exclaimed. Laughing, he began to speed down the bike lane. Despite the close calls from nearby cars and the occasional jostle from a small bump in the road, you remained relatively surprisingly steady. You risked raising your head up, taking in the sights you rushed past. 

“That’s where I practice volleyball!” he called out as a large, grey building passed on your right side. “They’ve got big courts and all sorts of other sports arenas inside! We’ve got a game starting in two weeks, actually!”

When you were finally able to get off the bike, your feet hurt from the pressure of the metal bars. You were relieved to be back on the ground, though, alive and uninjured. Taking off the helmet, you examined its unicorn and fairy stickers with amusement.

“Nice stickers,” you teased. He snatched the pink helmet from you, blushing, then fastened it to his bicycle.

“It’s supposed to be my little sister’s but it’s too big for her,” he grumbled. Waiting for Hinata to lock up his bike on a nearby rack, you then followed him inside the small restaurant. His eyes narrowed as he scanned the setting. 

“There!” he pointed. Your gaze followed his finger, settling on a person sitting at a booth in the corner. They were holding up a menu, leaving only their dark hair visible behind menu pictures of white, fluffy baos. Hinata eagerly bounded over to his friend, yelling “BAKAGEYAMAAA!” and causing the figure to jolt up in their seat. Angry at the surprise outburst, the dark haired boy stood up and whacked Hinata with the menu, and the two began to bicker. Only when he noticed you standing awkwardly in front of the two, as well as the weird looks from the other customers, did he stop, clear his throat, and slide back into his seat.

"Stop being an idiot and making me act out,” he snapped at Hinata, who looked at him in shock as he defended himself. 

“Your actions are your own doing!” Hinata retaliated. With a huff, he turned away from his friend and focused his attention back on you. Scratching the back of his head, he apologized. “I’m sorry about my friend.” He took a second to stick out his tongue at the boy. “This is Tobio Kageyama, but you can call him Bakageyama, or Yamayama, or--”

Blushing, Kageyama cut him off with a jab of his elbow.  “They get it,” he muttered, warning Hinata with a piercing glare. Then his eyes flickered towards you. Judging by the look he was giving you, you expected him to say something; yet only silence accompanied his intense blue gaze. Then, his lips started to twitch and his left eye crinkled slightly.

You were about to introduce yourself and save this boy from further embarrassment when Hinata began to snicker, poking Kageyama in the side. “Why’re you so awkward huh are you tryna smile just introduce yourself--”

‘So that twitching... Was him trying to smile?’

His blush deepened at Hinata’s taunts. Before he could lash back, however, you extended a hand and flashed him an upward curl of your lips. “I’m y/n, Hinata’s friend. He asked me to come, so I hope you don’t mind me being here. I’d like to get to know you more, Kageyama, it’s nice to meet you!” 

He paused to stare at your outstretched hand in surprise, blinking, then quickly shook it after he processed your introduction. “Ah, don’t worry, I don’t mind you being here. It’s nice to meet you, too, y/n.”

“Now we can all be friends~” Hinata rejoiced. “I call sitting next to y/n!” 

Throughout lunch, Kageyama seemed to relax more as you joked around with Hinata. Their friendship was cute, you thought, and you were glad to see him look comfortable in your presence. Maybe you were overthinking, but you also couldn’t help but notice the furtive glances he cast your way every so often. 

After you each split the bill, Kageyama checked the time on his phone. “I gotta go or else I’ll be late to class. I’ll see you both around.”

Once he gathered his belongings and stood up to leave, a more natural smile formed on his lips as he bid you goodbye. He was out the door in the next few seconds. A high-pitched ding caught your attention, and you looked over at Hinata, who was typing away on his phone with a smirk on his lips. 

“What?” you asked him when his brown eyes glittered at you with a hint of mischief. Then, you felt a vibration in the pocket of your jacket. Pulling out your phone, you saw a message from an unknown number.

‘Hey y/n. This is Kageyama. I forgot to ask you before I left so I asked Hinata for your number, yknow, for reference.’

‘Huh. He could’ve come back in real quick to ask. Then again, he was rushing to get to class, so...’

You glanced back up at your friend and raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, you gave him my number. That’s totally fine, so why are you looking at me like that?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes avoiding your interrogating look. “Oh, no reason. Say, you want to come to our volleyball game in two weeks? Kageyama and I are actually on the same team! It’s 12PM Saturday at the place we passed by earlier. Be there or be square.”

Smiling, you rolled your eyes. “Oh, I’ll be there.” 

On the commute home, you suddenly remembered you haven’t responded to Kageyama. You whipped out your phone and typed out a reply.

‘Hey Kageyama! That’s totally fine. Btw, I’m coming to your game, I’ll c u there 😁’

You hit send, unable to make sense of the tingle you felt in your chest. You chose to shrug it off. Probably just excited to meet up with your new friends. 

However, another ding of your phone and your heart was set aflutter.

‘Oh, cool, I’ll see you then’

‘Glad Hinata made friends with someone who’s not as annoying as him’

You didn’t think you’d be messaging him well after you arrived home, nor did he think he would be texting you throughout his 2-hour lecture. Not that either of you minded, though. 

taglist: @thechaosoflonging​ (tysm for requesting <3 :) ! hope u enjoyed! didnt get a req for cont story w kags but i probs will do one anywa loolol)

[taejeonie]

moments that markhee stans live for

everytime they sing or rap as a duo (e.g. go)

their stage presence>>>>>

like they blend well together but they still have their own spotlight, u know what i mean?

and then back in mmc they were like the mom and dad of the group

“oh we’re just same-age friends”

the mcs always tease them too

so when fans found out taehee was gonna debut with the boys they were ECSTATIC

every time someone would avoid or not notice mark’s high fives, taehee’s got his back ;))

but when mark asks her for a high five she just stares at it

but then she’s like “just kidding!!! hihihi” and high fives him back

when they went to award shows, taehee would make mark laugh by dancing to the others’ performances

like she’s not mocking it she’s just eXTRA EXTRA

when they danced whip nae nae they were so cute :<<

in their weekly idol episode with nct 2018, they stood next to each other and helped each other out in the language thingy game

THEIR ENDING POSE IN “TRIGGER THE FEVER” ( ^ω^ )

but then that part in “superhuman”

that’s a whole different mood ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

like they both got flustered at first but they just got used to it

like there was this one concert where there faces were SO close

the venue was screaming

speaking of flustered

everytime taehee tells a pickup line it would always be directed @ mark unless stated otherwise

but mark just got used to that too

taehee joins in on teasing him with the dreamies

“TAEHEE AND I ARE THE SAME AGE!!! WHY WON’T YOU GUYS TEASE HER TOO”

“just five more days, she could’ve been a 00’ liner”

“and i’m cool, you loser :ppp”

but sometimes when the babies get too out of control she helps mark calm them down

“guys, please focus :)))”

in the new weekly idol episode, taehee’s question was “if you would have one roommate forever, who would it be?”

and so she hugged mark

“is it who you want to date?”

“someone you like?”

“taehee-ssi, why did you choose mark?”

and taehee has her head on top of mark’s so it’s c u t e

“other than we’re the same age, mark takes care of me but there are other times where i take care of him,,,,so it’s kinda nice”

“ooooo it is who would you date”

“i would get in trouble if that was the question”

mark couldn’t keep his eyes off taehee when she did her facial window

iTS NOT LIKE HE LIKES HER THAT WAY ITS BC SHES REFRESHING TO WATCH AND NOT CRINGEY U SUCKERS

mm what else

there was this one interview in america that got markhee speaking in their own language

“like,,,like yeah you know what i mean”

“yeah it’s like,,,like jsjd you know?”

“yEAH LIKE THAT!!”

“they talk like this in the dorms it’s confusing sometimes”

mark and taehee are each others’ seratonin boosts during performances

but also when they’re not performing ofc

taehee mentioned she and mark would practice a lot predebut

and that when mark is alone, she would watch him practice and join him later on

“mark really works hard,,,it makes you want to be like him in a way. that’s why when we were trainees, whenever he was alone while practicing i would accompany him and watch him,,and then join him later on”

whenever mark calls taehee “joanie” it’s so soft

cute counter 39482993

they posted a cover once and it was just mark and taehee goofing around while making the video

taehee sang while mark played the guitar, but he joined in once in a while

dreamies would always want to hear their thoughts during recording

“i want to hear what mark-hyung thinks about this”

“noona, i’m not sure how to do this. how should i do it?”

there was this one interview where taehee thought mark looked the cutest at that moment

so she stuck around him the whole time

there was this one vlive where they jammed to just disney songs

“LET IT GOOO!! LET IT GOOO”

“mark you wanna make a ‘let it go’ remix and you rap?”

“HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA”

there are times where mark would ruffle taehee’s hair

and during those times she would be like -_-

but the fact that her dimples show make mark laugh because he thinks she’s cute

taehee was mark’s number 1 supporter when he was in “high school rapper”

they laugh at each other’s jokes

but you know that thing where you laugh too hard you have to lean on somebody so you won’t fall?

yeah that’s markhee too

you would hear stories from the dreamies how markhee went to bring them food on set

“mark-hyung brought us churros and taehee-noona had drinks”

when they were in the dreamies’ live after their ridin’ performance eVERYONE WENT WILD

the parents + their babies uwu

they have matching shoes

mark used to be the member with a different contact name on taehee’s phone while the rest were just plain

“what are the members’ contact names on your phone”

“lee donghyuck, lee taeyong, kim doyoung-“

“WAHAHAHAHHAHA”

“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT”

taehee continues to answer the question like they’re not complaining atm

“jung jaehyun, markly with a heart, johnny seo-“

“wHY IS MARK-HYUNG’S CONTACT NAME DIFFERENT?? YOU SHOULD HAVE A HEART NEXT TO MINE”

hyuck: <//3

“nO WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN!!! so at first all your names were,,just your names but mark saw his on my phone and he asked me to change it-“

mark smiles nervously bc of the host’s reaction, “hey it’s not like that”

“nonono, it is like that!! so i changed it and showed him and he was like “ah better :>>””

the way she imitated mark made everyone in the studio laugh

“mark doesn’t like affection but he has his moments where he’s the one giving it.”

mark being flustered pt. 29842894

they also are in-sync almost all of the time it’s creepy

they also say the same things at the same time

when they were at the ama’s she was wearing heels

so when she stood next to mark, taehee was like

“hehe i’m taller than you”（╹◡╹）

so mark stands on his toes for the whole interview

when he would lose his footing bc of that they would both laugh

sneaky glances during interviews

hearing things wrong

being dirty minded

there was this one time taehee almost slipped on the stairs while going down from the stage but mark caught her

when mark mentioned that taehee was one of the people he wanted to grow old with

everyone cRIED

“one person i want to grow old with? umm, taehee? taehee because she’s always been there for me. she teases me a lot but then she takes care of me like an older sister would. she’s very understanding and thoughtful of others. and even if we fight, we still have a strong relationship bc we get each other,,in a way. so,,yeah :)))”

besides johnny, mark loves to imitate her australian accent

“i wanna go home”

mark, with an accent: “Oh, yOU wAnT tO gO hOmE?”

they’re also cute roommates lol

they’re either jamming hard to their favorite songs

or having deep talks from their respective beds

lastly, their graduation from dream

they prepared a video for the dreamies

it was filled with their off-screen moments

mostly inside the car while they were going somewhere

and then jisung’s bday predebut

and there were pictures of them too

and then the prank taehee pulled on renjun and jisung,,where she pretended she was mad at them

“i think i cried,” jisung said in the video

and then the vcr ends with markhee saying they would continue to support dream and cheer for them

and then now is their ending ment

mark was kinda serious and is on the verge of crying

taehee was too but she was trying to lighten up the situation

“don’t criiiiiiii”

but then she ended up crying too

when taehee was saying her ending ment,,mark put an arm around her shoulders

and then they group hugged

bUT MARKHEE WOULD BE BACK IN DREAM SO ITS A WINWIN FOR EVERYONE

:DDD

but even when they left they still are mentioned in dream’s videos/lives

*on a phone call* “mark-hyung, is taehee-noona there?”

“noona? ah taehee-“

“you forgot her name? HAHAHA”

“-is here”

“RENJUN, MARK ATE MY SAUSAGE I’M SAD”

“I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS YOURS”

“I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WOULD LEAVE IT IN THE FRIDGE!!! I SHOUTED!!”

“I DIDNT HEAR YOU!! SERIOUSLY”

“THEN HOW COME JUNGWOO-OPPA HEARD ME HM??”

“they fight like an old couple”

[borhapstyles]

I meant headcons yes 🙈 could you write a headcon about the reader acing her 2 big exams and she is happy for a little but then gets scared for another one she has next week? And Ben like, tells her she needs to rest a bit cause she can barely even focus on what they are doing or talking about and has bags under her eyes? So he treats her and is gentle with her and gIRL AS A UNI STUDENT I NEED SOME FLUFF 😭💞

i totally understand you, dear. as a uni student myself, i sometimes feel like i need a warm hug from Ben to tell me shit’s gonna be alright this semester :((

but i believe in us and we’re going to get through this!! we’re never given more than we can handle, and we’ll be alright xx

When you and Ben first started dating

you made it clear that your studies were a top priority for you

and he understood this, of course, having gone to uni himself

but he admired your work ethic greatly, he admired your dedication to it

it’s one of the things that attracted Ben to you

because no matter how busy he was with his work

he remembered what it was like to have to fit in hours of studying and completing course work

and when he looked at your coursework load?? he got scared lmao

with this said, however, he’d get worried at times

Ben knew you could handle it, he knew you could handle anything

but considering how determined you could be at times

he was worried you’d overwork yourself

but you’d always say

“i’m fine, love, I just need to finish going over this and I’ll call it a night”

but calling it a night sometimes meant staying up till 1am or 2am till you felt you had studied enough

and it paid off, though

when you aced two big midterm exams

Ben was incredibly proud by the way

and you felt amazing about it

He decided then and there that it called for a celebratory dinner and he booked you guys a night at a lovely restaurant

one with a view of London

and you were like “Ben, you didn’t have to do all this”

but he took your head across the table and said in his low voice

“it’s not everyday that you ace two big exams like this, we should celebrate your hard work, darling.”

and you were happy for the remainder of dinner, having forgotten that you were a uni student for a moment

that’s what it was like with Ben a lot of the time

sometimes you forgot that you were more than what your major in college was

that you could have a life out of studying and doing all your work

Ben made you feel normal, which was a turn from his celebrity life

but that’s why you guys worked

apart from the whirlwind of his life on set and your life at school

you had each other, you kept each other grounded, you reminded each other of how beautiful life could be

and later that night in bed?

Ben made sure to reward you with his tongue and his cock

but the next morning

when you woke up, head on his chest and legs tangled together

the anxiety of your next exam started to set in

it was next week, which you just now realised how close it was

you had been so focused on studying for this week’s exams that you didn’t even think about next week’s

Ben wasn’t quite awake yet behind you

and you sat in silence for a few minutes, heart starting to pound at the idea of how much you’d have to do to prepare for it

butterflies filled your stomach and you sighed

and as if he could tell something was off

that’s when Ben woke up

his arms lazily wrapped around you, eyes fluttering open

he felt you shuffle around on top of him

“baby?” his morning voice was a bit raspy and deeper than usual

you sighed once more and didn’t reply

“what’s wrong? you alright?”

“i have so much i need to do.”

that’s when Ben leaned down to kiss the top of your head and rubbed your back gently

“i have the day off, we can go to a cafe together and you can study while i learn my lines if you’d like? some place small and quiet.”

so that’s where you guys went

and Ben understood your need to concentrate

but like, you barely spoke to him when you were at the cafe

he had to resist the urge to reach over and boop your nose while you were reading something

he even snapped a quick photo of you, posting it with the caption “Hardest working girl I know. And the smartest. You’re gonna kill these exams, darling.”

and you didn’t even notice but normally you’re acutely aware of things like that

your instagram was then flooded with messages wishing you luck

but like u check ur phone lmao you knew if you did you’d never get off it

anywaays

the next day, back at the house

Ben came home from an audition

and he thought he’d have you for a moment to just sit and relax

but you were chained to your desk

i mean you got up to give Ben a hug and a kiss

but didn’t really stay and chat

then Ben made dinner, one of your favorite comfort meals

“Y/N? Dinner’s ready…” his voice trailed off as he stopped at the side of your desk

you looked up at him, smiled and squeezed his hand

“thank you, i’ll be there in a minute”

at the dinner table, Ben noticed you were much more quiet than usual

you were spaced out, to say the least

not really touching your food

for a moment Ben’s insecure you didn’t like his cooking

then he realised it’s because of how tired you were

you had been studying non-stop for two days, working yourself to the bone

and it was worrying to him, how tired you really looked

he didn’t have a chance to study your face when he first came home

but you had dark circles under your eyes, and a seemingly permanent frown on your lips

“love?” he said, reaching across the table

you let out a breath and flicked your tired eyes up at him

“hm?”

“you need to take a break from all the studying”

“i am, we’re eating right now. this is my break”

“no,” he shook his head “as in for the night. you’re overworking yourself, darling. you’ve barely looked up from your books and it’s not healthy.”

“no, i have a paper due and i-i need to study, my exam is-”

“in a few days, i know, love. but you need to take care of yourself and you need to give your brain a rest. taking one night off from studying to relax and not do anything is actually going to help.”

and because you were so tired from everything, you didn’t really have the sense to argue

no matter how stressed you were about uni, you knew that he was right

Ben saw tears welling up in your eyes from how overwhelmed you were

so he stood up from his chair and walked over to you

he wrapped his strong arms around you and kissed your neck gently as you cried

“i-i don’t know how i’m going to get through all this, Ben. it’s just so much, college is so much all the time.”

“i know, baby, i know. i’m sorry it’s so much.” he uttered. he kissed your temple and rest his head on your shoulders

“you’re going to get through these exams and everything else afterwards, alright? you’re the most intelligent, hardworking, amazingly talented woman i know and your mental health is worth more than any exam. please don’t give yourself up because of this, darling.”

then you turned around and met his eyes

Ben smiled at you and you cried even harder

not because of anything bad, but because this beautiful man supported you like nothing else

Ben couldn’t give two fucks if you failed an exam or not

i mean of course he wanted you to be successful and to thrive

but he wanted you to be alright first, and just wanted to look after you

so you took the night off from studying, didn’t even glance in the direction of all your books and laptop

Ben threw on one of your favorite films

he put on bohemian rhapsody but u didnt hear it from me

he held you close and you two and sung your lungs out to the music

and you swear you just didn’t want the night to end

Ben’s fingers wrapped themselves in your hair and he’d occasionally place kisses to the top of your head

which eventually led to a very heavy make-out session

he was covered in lovebites afterwards and so were you

never mind the shit he got for it on set the next day lmao 

and several days later, you found out you aced your other exam

because u a strong smart woman who is capable of anything

and then Ben took you into his arms that night

where you told him thank you

and he said “for what? you put in all the hard work”

“yes, but you’re the one who made sure I didn’t go mad”

“just my way of saying i love you. i’ll always look after you.”

hi, big big reminder that self care is super important, especially during times of high stress like school. please take care of yourselves

go read a fanfic or something to relax ;-) Ben would want you to put yourself first. good luck to anyone with school and feel free to message me if you ever need to talk xx

[zepdeans]

there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3  -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4  -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal 

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((  -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one  -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??  -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!  -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart  -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry  -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even  -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!  -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius  -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

What Does Being An Idol Got To Do With It?! (Jungkook x You ONESHOT)

MASTERLIST

A/N: I am currenbtly busy working on the amazing requests that I’ve been receiving . So for now  Im just gonna post this fic that I have written a few months back.I feel like this is just trash :( I dont know what I’m doing. Forgive me 😭

Summary: “I’m not just an idol Y/N. I am also just a man. A man who’s desperately in love with you,”

Jeon Jungkook has just been slapped across the face.

Hard.

At a fan meeting.

By a fan.

And the said fan is looking at him, eyes wide as saucers, mouth hanging open. Jungkook held his left cheek, still red and stinging from the hard slap. The whole auditorium turns quiet. Even the other members are shocked by what had just happened. They have been doing this for six years and this is the first time any one of them have ever been slapped by a fan.

“Oh. My. God,” you stuttered. “I..I…I am so sorry. I..I.. saw a bee and it almost stings your face and I just wanted to hit it away and I totally forgot about your face and I…I… I’m sorry Jingkook,” you keep on rambling non stop. Panic is overwhelming your senses.

“It’s Jungkook. With a U,” Jungkook calmly replied back, his mouth is starting to turn upwards into a smile.  You slapped a hand on your forehead. Shit, you slapped the boy and you cant even pronounce his name right.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You hide your face behind your hair, highly aware of all the other fans shooting daggers at you. If looks could kill, you would be dead a million time over. This is exactly why you shouldnt have gone to a fan meeting at this age.

Jungkook wanted to say its okay but before he can say anything, a girl besides you, who is in front of Taehyung, and who Jungkook assumed is your friend, pulled you by your collar and dragged you away, hissing in your ear. You look at Jungkook one last time, sending him an apologetic look and without realizing it, Jungkook smile to himself.

/////

“Oh My God Y/N! I cant believe you did that!” your friend hissed in anger after she dragged you out from the auditorium. “You slapped Jungkook across the face! The Jeon Jungkook! God, you are going to be hated by ARMYs worldwide now,”

You hung your head low. You know you screwed up and there is nothing you can say to make you friend hate you less right now.

“And to top it off, you call him Jingkook?! Who in the world went to a BTS fanmeet and calls the golden maknae Jingkook?!” your friend screamed at you.

“Well… to be fair, you know I dont know them that well and I told you, multiple times, I might add, that I dont want to go but you dragged me here anyway!” you huffed. Its true. Being almost 8 years older than what your friend called the golden maknae, you are no longer interested in drooling over all these celebrities like some teenage fangirls. Especially idols.

Your friend rubbed her temples. “Yeah, and that was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life. Remind me to not ever take you to any show ever again!”

You smile and linked arms with her. You know she’s mad, because unlike you, your friend is still in her fangirl phase, despite being the same age as you and she’s been looking forward to meet her favorite idols for months now. Its okay though because you know she loves you too much to be able to stay mad at you for a long time.

“I’ll treat you to dinner and ice cream okay? The event is finishing anyway. This way we wont be stuck in the parking lot, crammed with everyone trying to get home at the same time!”

“Yeah you are right. You should be grateful I managed to meet all of them before you pull that stupid stunt! And dinner will be my choice,” she smile. You laughs and nodded. Ready to make your way out and leave all this behind you.

The moment you and Jin Hee turned towards the door, two casually dressed man with a crew tag hung around their necks stops you. One of them smile and the other just eyed you from his position.

“Hello miss. I’m sorry to interrupt, but we work for BigHit,” the smiley man introduced himself.  "And if you have the time, we would like to invite you backstage,“ your eyes widen at that. So does Jin Hee’s.

"Huh?”

“Jungkook-ssi, or maybe you know him better as Jingkook-ssi would like to request your presence. He has something to say to you,” the other man chimed in, smirking at you when he mentioned the way you mispronounced Jungkook’s name. Your eyes widen even more. Shit, you are going to get it now. This Jungkook guy is so going to sue you. God, you had a wonderful career. A great life. You cant go to jail now. You really cant. You need to-

“Miss?” the first guy asks again, interrupting your thoughts when you didnt respond. You look at Jin Hee for help. She looks just as nervous as you are. The two man saw the look the two of you are giving each other, “You can come with,” he motioned to Jin Hee.

“This way please. The boys dont have much time. They have another schedule to attend to,” the non smiley man said and lead the way, giving you and Jin Hee no other choice but to follow along.

You and Jin Hee entered the back stage area and the man motioned you to go into one of the rooms. Sweating and feeling nervous as hell, you opened the door and is greeted by the seven boys you met on stage earlier. You look behind you at Jin Hee, she is staring at Taehyung and looks like she’s going to faint. Jungkook immediately stands up from his seat and smile at you. He noticed the way Jin Hee is staring at Taehyung and nodded at his hyung. Taehyung immediately nodded back and step towards Jin Hee, who you can confidently say could really faint for real anytime soon.

“Hi, I’m Taehyung. And you are?” He flashed his boxy smile at her. You felt sorry for you friend. You know how much she loves Taehyung. Her room is covered with his face. Every single inch of it, and now he is standing right in front of her. Smiling and asking her name.

“Jin…Jin Hee,” she managed to choked out.

“Well Jin Hee. I can tell you must like me the most out of these other six dorks,” he said with a smile, making the other boys groan out in protest. Jin Hee nodded fereciously.

“Ye…yes. You are my bias,”

“Well, how about we leave this two to talk and maybe we can have our own conversation?” Taehyung suggested, putting his arms around Jin Hee’s shoulder, leading her out. You grabbed her arms and shakes your head, silently begging her not to leave you with this… this Jingkook. She pushed your hand and mouthed an inaudible ‘Sorry, but its Taetae!’ and went out. You gave her one last glare, shooting daggers down her back. So much for friendship, what a betrayer!

One by one the other boys gets up from the couch and make their way out. Slapping Jungkook on the back snd grinning at him, before smiling at you and letting themself out, leaving the two of you alone. The last one out, if your memory of Jin Hee’s teachings doesnt fail you, is called Yoongi, and he smirked at Jungkook, “Take it easy Jungkook. Dont be so hard on her. Play nice,” and went off. You felt goosebumps after hearing him. Shit, Jungkook is really going to sue you. Jungkook just chuckle at his hyung. The moment you two were left alone, you turned to see Jungkook in front of you, leaning cockily against the wall, a smirk on his face and shamelessly eyeing you up and down.

You immediately clasped your hands together, as if you are begging and close your eyes. Ready for waterworks if need to.

“Mr Jungkook. I am so so so so so sorry for slapping you. I didnt mean it. I really did saw a bee. Its an automatic reaction. I’m sorry please dont sue me! Please dont press charges! I have a job that I need to keep. I have to feed my cat. She will miss me a lot if I go to jail. I have so many things to do. I cant go to jail. Please please. I will do anything. Please just dont sue me,” you rambled without stopping, you are panting, sweats starts to dot your forehead as your mind is filled with panic. You peeked open one eyes when you hear no respond from him to see him still leaning against the wall, quietly laughing.

You opened both eyes and placed your hands on your hips, feeling angry. Is he laughing at you? Is this boy seriously mocking you right now? You are apologizing to him with utmost sincerity and he is laughing at you? What a bastard.

Jungkook stops laughing when he sees how pissed you are. His face turns back into a smirk as he stepped closer and closer to you. You backed away until your back hits the wall and he stopped right in front of you, face so close your nose is almost touching.

“You said you will do anything as long as I dont sue you, right?” he asks in a low seductive voice, his warm breath fanning your face. You shut your eyes tightly in fear. You might be older, but this boy is seriously scaring you.

“Y..yes,”

“What’s your name?”

“Y…Y/N,”

“Well then Y/N. I need you to do one thing for me before I can forgive you,” you felt his hands get closer to your sides, almost touching your waist. You close your eyes and turn your face to the right, away from him.

“No…no. Please no,” you start to tremble. “Dont do it. I am your noona!” Suddenly you felt him move away from you.

“What did you think I’m asking you to do?” he asks in his normal voice. You open your eyes and see him standing in front of you, grinning, showing his cute bunny smile and waving your phone in front of you. You then realized that he had taken your phone out from your crossbody bag that is hung by your side while you were scared shitless. You felt both relieved and feeling like punching him all at the same time.

He punched in some number and you heard his own phone in his pockets rings. After finally snapping out fron your dazed, you realized he is taking you number. You cursed yourself for not putting a password on your phone.

“So Noona huh?” he grinned. “Its fine. I always prefer older woman anyway,” he winked at you. He gave back your phone and grinned at you.“Your number is the price you have to pay for slapping me, Y/N,” he leans in closer and whisper in your ear, sending chills down your body. Before you can respond, someone knock on the door and Jin Hee peeked her head in. You can hear the voice of the other boys from outside. Taehyung peeks his head beside Jin Hee’s.

“Time’s up maknae. We got to go,” he grinned at you and close the door, Jin Hee following his steps.

What a traitor!

“Coming hyung,” Jungkook yelled back and start collecting his things. Before he went off he leans in one more time, softly whispering in your ear, “And you better respond to my texts and calls, if you dont want me to claim something more from you Noona,” he winked at your surprised face, chuckled and walked out. Leaving you confuse, alone in the room until Jin Hee came in, squealing about her experience with the other members.

Jungkook cant hide his smile when they were all buckled up in the car, on their way to the next schedule.

“Got what you wanted?” Taehyung peeks his head from between the head rests behind him, startling Jungkook.

“He sure did. Just look at that smile on his face. Maknae’s all grown up,” Hoseok who sat beside him chimed in. Jungkook chuckled, waving his phone in front of hin, indicating he did get what he wanted.

“Thanks hyung. For distracting the friend,” he turned around, thanking Taehyung.

“Not a problem. She’s fun. Maybe if things work out between you two we can all hang out with Jin Hee again,” Taehyung suggested. Jungkook nodded. Things working out between you two… It has a nice ring to it.

Y/N.

Jungkook puts on his headphones and turn to the window, grinning by himself. To be honest, he was extremely shocked when his face was suddenly slapped. He wanted to get angry but when he look at how shocked you are, he didnt have the heart to do so. Instead he found it funny when you start to ramble about a bee and apologizing refusely.

What kind of a girl would try to hit a bee with their bare hands?

Most girl he knows, which he admits is not many, would scream bloody murder if they saw a bee. But you. Your immediate reaction is to just slapped the shit out of the bee.

After the boys were ushered backstage after the event, Jungkook immediately told his hyungs about the connection he felt with you. The need to know more about you and Namjoon suggest to just invite you backstage and get your number. The managers had done that for some of the boys before, so its no big deal. So Jungkook asked for help from two of their managers to fetch you, praying and hoping you havent left yet after being dragged out of the auditorium.

You never ceased to amaze him. He laughs when he remembered how the first thought that came to your mind when you met him backstage is he wanted to sue you.

Sue you for slapping him? How in the world did you come to that conclusion? He chuckled to himself.

Most girls would go ballistic if an idol calls them to go backstage. But of course, not you. Everything you did just makes him more curious. More interested to getting to know you. Even the way you call him Jingkook fascinates him. This is the first time he met a fan who didnt know his name. You might be older, but you sure do act like someone his age. He doesnt feel the age gap at all. He chuckles again and felt a hard slap at the back of his head. He turned around and see Jimin grinning at him.

“God, stop acting like a love sick puppy. Chuckling like an idiot. We are here!” he said, while climbing out from the van. Jungkook followed suit, wishing their schedule would end soon so he could start texting you.

You are trying to forget everything that happen that day by cooking yourself a bowl of steaming ramen and planning to eat it while continuing watching the half seen episode of the latest drama you are currenlt binge watching. You were only on your third bite when your phone dings. Wondering who could have texted you this late at night, you peeks at the notification.

Jungkookie  ♡

What?  Did the delusional idol seriously placed a heart emoji beside his own name? You rolled your eyes and tapped open the notification, wanting to see what he wanted.

Jungkookie ♡ [01.43am] Hey Y/N. Are you sleeping?

Jungkookie ♡ [01.45am] I’m sorry I couldnt text you earlier. Trust me, I wanted to so badly. But today’s schedule was tight I dont even have time to pee!

Jungkookie ♡ [01.48am] I guess you are already sleeping. Good Night Y/N. I’ll be dreaming of you tonight.

You decided not to reply Jungkook’s messages. How is this boy so shameless? But you do like the fact he didnt call you noona. You really hate that. It just makes you feel old. Pushing all thoughts of him aside, you continue watching the drama, all thoughts of Jungkook dissapeared from your mind.

However, unfortunately for you, for someone who is supposed to be extremely busy, Jungkook seems to find the time to text you constantly. To the extend of calling you if you didnt reply to his barrage of text messages. You just ignore him and move on with your life, which Jin Hee strongly protest, ssying the boy could be your destiny, the love of your life. You just rolled your eyes at that. There is no way that’s going to happen. Jungkook is eight years younger than you, and an idol, at that.

No. You and him? That is never happening.

You and an idol? That is definitely not happening.

Its not like you are going to see him again anyways. You dont plan in attending any fanmeets any time soon, or ever.

Well, that’s what you think.

You were minding your own business at work, briefing your team for the new project when a very familiar voice called out to you.

“Y/N noona?”

You close your eyes, shaking your head. This cant be. Please no. You turned around slowly, hoping it wont be who you thought it is, but of course…

“It is you!” Jungkook smile is so bright you almost went blind. You quickly dismissed your team who is giving you curious looks as he make his way to you, telling his other members who is grinning widely and waving at you that he will be back soon. “Why do you never reply to my texts or pick up my calls?” he pouts.

“Because I dont find the need to,” you quickly start to pack your things, trying to get away from him as soon as possible. He held your arm, stopping you.

“Do you work here Y/N?” he directly asked. It always make you feel some type of way when he just calls you by your name and instead of noona. You nodded.

“Obviously,”

“Great,” he clapped his hand in glee. “Now that I know where you work, if you still keep on avoiding my texts and calls, I will just come here and find you!” he happily declared.

“No! Please no,” he quirked an eyebrow at your outburst. “Please dont come here. I will reply to your text, okay?” you pleaded. Jungkook smile happily.

“That’s great!” he said, a satisfied smirk plastered on his face. “But you do know this is a broadcast company right? I come here a lot Y/N,”

You close your eyes in frustration. Crap. Why didnt you make the connection. You work in a huge broadcast company. He’s an idol. Of course he would be here a lot. And now that he knows you are working here… crap crap crap.

“Tell you what,” Jungkook suddenly lean in closer. “I promise I wont make a scene whenever I’m here, as long as you promise to see me or maybe grab a quick bite with me whenever I’m here. Deal?”

You sigh. This is so not what you had planned your day to go. You cant afford for him to create a ruckus at your place of work. You glare at him. Why is this delusional boy so obsessed with you anyway?

“Fine,” you agreed, making Jungkook smile and you just felt like you signed your death contract.

Ever since that fateful day, Jungkook has been texting you every single day. You have no choice but to reply. As days went by, you find him not to be so annoying anymore. Despite his age, he can actually hold a decent conversation with you, it didnt went pass you that he is also funny and sweet. He came to your office about two times a week, since his group is filming some show with the broadcast station. He made sure to see you every single time, for lunch, sometimes for tea and even just a quick bite. You have to admit, you kind of like spending time with him.

But when his age and his status as an idol came to mind, you quickly pushed your thoughts aside and try to forget all feelings that might have emerged.

Sometimes, you just feel that its already too late.

Jungkook always noticed when you start to distance yourself from him. He can feel you start to give in, opening yourself up to him, and as if you had a sudden realization, you will suddenly turn back to being cold and distance with him. He cant understand it. Its driving him even more crazy because well, Jungkook is in love with you. After months of getting to know you, he has no doubts that he has fallen deeply in love with you. Your age doesnt matter. It doesnt bother him at all. He loves everything about you.  But does it bother you? He knows you feel the same way, he’s very sure about it. It shows in the way you shyly smile at him or sometimes stare at him when you thought he wasnt looking. Still, Jungkook cant put a finger on what exactly is holding you back.

“Hey you okay?” Taehyung asks after seeing the maknae running his hand multiple times through his hair, worry written all over his face.

“No, not really,” Jungkook honestly admitted.

“Its Y/N noona isnt it?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook admits, shoulders slumped in frustration. “I know she feels the same way about me. I know she loves me back hyung. I know she does. But I dont understand why she’s holding her feelings back,” he sigh. “And I hate it when I see photos of her having fun with her friends partying, out drinking coffee with her colleagues and stuff after she said she is too busy to reply to my texts. I just felt like she has a life on her own, a life without me in it, a life she didnt want to include me in. And God, I really want to be in it,”

“Jungkook, you know noona is older than all of us right? Its just right that she already have a life of her own before she even met you. You cant expect her to only spend time with you. Even if the two of you got together, she will still have a life of her own. I dont see her as a woman who will change her whole life just for a man,”

“I know that,” Jungkook sigh. “But I dont like thinking she’s out there having fun and not even thinking about me. When all I do everyday is think about her every single second, wanting her,”

“Well then, I guess you have to go talk to Y/N noona and sort things out. See for sure where the two of you stand. That’s all the advice I can give you Kook,” Taehyung patted his back before leaving Jungkook thinking about his words.

Jungkook didnt see you for almost three weeks. He didnt have anymore programs to shoot at the company, thus, no more excuses to grab a quick lunch with you. Plus, his schedule is extremely pack, not giving him time to go and see you. Its drives him crazy, not being able to see you. He tried to hold it in, the extreme feeling of missing and wanting you, but all restrain broke loose when you casually replied to his text saying you are just on your way home from a date.

A fucking date.

You barely replied to his texts or answers his calls, and you went on a fucking date?

Jungkook knows you and him never talked about your relationship. Never actually set the line. Never discussed what you are to each other. But never would he have thought you would think so little of him. Absolutely ignoring and disrespecting his feelings that he laid out bare in front of you.

Furious and cant barely think straight, Jungkook makes his way to your house, not bothering or even caring what time it is. He let out a low growled when you opened the door still dressed in the outfit you wore for the date. It angers him how you dressed up so nicely for another man.

“Jungkook. What are you doing here?” you asked, surprised by his unexpected visit.

“Did you have fun on your little date, noona?” he ignored your question and answered with his own. You can sense the jealousy seething through him and sigh. You really have no time to deal with a hormonally induced boy with his ridiculous sense of jealousy.

“Jungkook… if that is why you are here about, then you shouldnt have. Its nothing, we just went out for dinner. We are just getting to know each other,”  you acting as if going out on a date is not a big deal only adding fuel to the fire.

“Then what about me? Why dont you fucking get to know me?! Are you seriously acting like you cheating on me is not a big deal!?” you are startled. Jungkook never speak that way to you before. Although a little afraid with the furious male in front of you, you try your best to act tough.

“What about you? What do you mean cheating on you? We are not dating Jungkook! We are nothing!  Get it through your childish little head!” you answered back, not able to entirely hide the tremble in your voice . “And I am still your noona. I didnt give you the permission to talk to me like that!”

Jungkook sent you a death glare, eyes dark, making your heart pounds faster. God, why is this boy looks so hot when he’s angry? “You are right noona. We are not dating, aren’t we? I am nothing to you, aren’t I?” his voice sounded so hurt, you just want to give him a hug and tell him everything is going okay. Jungkook ran his hands through his hair and make his way to the door, but you managed to stop him in time, pulling his arms.

“What do you want Y/N?” he growled, making you take a step back.

“Jungkook,” you stammered. “Its not like that. Its not what I meant! You are just to young to unde-”

“Is this what its all about? My age?! My fucking age?” Jungkook turned and walked further towards you. “You think I’m too young to be with you? Is that it?” you can see the anger radiating off him. Jungkook is frustrated. With all the thinking he’s been doing, he never would have thought his age would be the problem. At least not to you.He thought you are different. He is sick and tired with people treating him like a kid. He is a man and he can gladly prove it to you.

“No! That’s not it!” you quickly objected. “It was never about your age,” you quietly added underneath your breath. He stopped in his tracks and quirked an eyebrow.

“Then what is it Y/N? What is it that stops you from letting this,” his fingers motioned to the two of you “happen?”

Your gaze dropped to the ground, unable to answer him. You know the reason alright. But its too petty, you are afraid Jungkook would think its stupid.

“I…I’m..”

“What is it?” he is getting impatient. “Fuck this,” he make his move to the door.

“No, stop!” you quickly grabbed his arm again. Jungkook turned to you, raising an eyebrow, waiting for an explanation before he walk out of your door forever. Its now or never, you thought.

“Its because you are an idol!”

Both of you stayed silence after that. You let go of his arm and look down to the floor. How is it that you are eight years older than him but he still managed to make you feel so small?

“What?”

“Its…its because you are an idol…” you repeated in a small voice. Jungkook let out a loud huffed and wipe his face with frustration.

“What the hell do you mean Y/N? What does being an idol got to do with anything? What does it got to do with us being together?!” You kept quiet for a moment, contemplating on the best way to explain it to him.

“I…I cant handle the thought of dating an idol. Of having millions other girls going after you, talking about you,” Jungkook’s eyes flickered in confusion at what you meant. “I…I get jealous easily. If you are mine, then I want you to be mine alone. My past relationships… some is ruined because of my blinded jealousy, but it turns out not to be so blind when most of them really did cheat on me,” your voice small. You look back to your past relationships. Sometimes you dont know if your past boyfriends cheated on you because they are tired of your jealousy or your suspicious jealousy is really spot on. What you do know is that it never worked out.

And a relationship with an idol with girls throwing themselves at him all the time? Its highly likely it wont ever work out.

“What are you trying to say Y/N? That I would cheat on you? Because I’m an idol?”

“Don’t you understand?” you looked closely at his Jungkook’s face. “You are an idol. You have girls chasing afer you everyday, fantasizing about you. Everytime you do a particularly sexy dance move or even wink on stage, I cant help but feel jealous, thinking about how you are doing it for some other girl. Its not healthy Jungkook. I know its not. I cant do that to you. I cant roped you into this kind of a relationship.I rather not be with you at all than ruin what little friendship we have now,”

Jungkook takes slow steps towards you, finally closing the distance between the two of you. He pushed a strand of hair behind your ear, carressing your cheek.

“Is that what this is all about? You are denying me because you thought you will ruin the relationship?” you nodded, closing your eyes as he leaned in closer to your ear. “Let me tell you a secret noona,” you can feel his warm breath touched the tip of your ear, “There’s nothing that I love more than hearing and knowing you want me all for yourself,” his voice is thick with seduction, it sends shivers down your spine.

His hands starts to run across your collarbones and down to the collar of your off the shoulders dress, slowly rubbing and tugging them down.

“I will show you that you have absolutely nothing to be jealous about. I will show you how I am yours and yours alone, noona,” he whispered in your ear before he cupped your chin with one hand and kissed you, while the other pulled the front of your dress down, revealing yourself to him.

/////

You woke up when the bright sunlight of the warm morning hit your face. You tried to move but you felt something heavy constricting you to the bed. You turned to your right and see Jungkook still sleeping soundly, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You smile and trace his beautiful face. This is the most perfect view to wake up to. You knew then that you will never get enough of this boy. The marks all over his neck and chest makes you blush, taking you back to the events happening the night before.

“Everytime you need a reminder of how I fully belong to you, remember this. Remember this moment right now,” he pants as he thrust repeatedly into you, one of his hands keeping both of yours on the top of your head. “Remember that only.. you.. can..ahh fuck.. make. me.. feel.. this way,” he said between thrust as he keeps on pounding into you. “You are the only one who can turn me to dust, not the other girls. Never them,”

“Jungkook, please, please dont stop,” you begged him.

“Remember only.. you.. will.. ever.. see me… like this. Needy and begging for you. Ahh fuck, you feel so good Y/N,” he quicken his thrust with every word. “Remember that its.. only.. your name.. I’m ever gonna.. scream out,”

“Jung…Jungkook, I’m going to-” you screamed out his name as you came, repeating his name over and over again. Jungkook kept on pounding into you, chasing his own sweet release. You can feel he’s close when you felt him twitch inside of you. He leaned forward closer to your face.

“Remember…ahhh…that I love you Y/N. I love you so much, its not even funny,” he said before he kissed you deeply as he spilled himself into you, moaning your name endlessly between pants.

He rolled away from you after the two of you recollect you senses and look at you, giving you a peck on the lips.

“I love you so much Y/N. From the very first slap,” you chuckled, remembering the memory. “I promise I wont give you a reason to feel the need to get jealous or to not trust me,”

“I know Jungkook. I’m just afraid. I’ve been dating ordinary man all these while and its still a problem, I dont know if I can handle dating an idol. An incredibly handsome and talented one at that,” Jungkook push a strand of your hair away from your face.

“I’m not just an idol Y/N. I am also just a man. A man who’s desperately in love with you,” he pecked your lips. “Being an idol has nothing to do with us. I love you,” he kissed you deeper, more passionately. “Thankyou for giving us a chance, for trying with me. I promise it will be worth it,”

Jungkook made love to you four times that night, each time reminding you that it will always be you, and only you, no matter what he does in front of his fan girls. He whispered words of love into your ears, promising he will be there for you every step of the relationship, until you learned that he really loves you and no jealousy can come between it.

You smile at his sleeping figure, finally admitting to yourself that you are pathetically in love with him, the young idol you slapped when you first met. You realized Jungkook is worth it. He’s worth the try. He’s worth the fight.

“Good morning beautiful,” Jungkook sleepily greeted you, eyes half open but leaning in for a quick morning kiss. He suddenly flipped you over, laying on top of you and kissed you long and deep, his hard erection poking your stomach. Jungkook cheekily smirked at you after he broke the kiss, leaving you breathless and wanting more.

“I think…” he slowly kisses a slow trail down your jawline and towards your neck. “You should be reminded again why you have no reason to be jealous…”

A/N: This fiction is slightly based on the Othello Syndrome, or Suspicious Jealousy.Othello Syndrome is a real psychological disorder in which a person is preoccupied with the thought that their spouse or sexual partner is being unfaithful without having any real proof. Its a real psychological disorder that should be never taken lightly, along with other disorders.

[anyhao-archived]

okay im finally getting around to posting this, tbh i had to take a few days to (rest) before i thought more about this lol. also sorry it’s so long, ill put it under a read more. ANYWAYS my vav experience, as follows:

so for the fan sign there was a Lot going on so i forgot most of it but.. barons teeth sparkled when he smiled lmao anyways st van was first and I told him he was my moms favorite and he went rly?? in a really cute voice and he just seemed so surprised, it was endearing

and then jacob... i don’t mess with him anymore. jk lol he was so freaking attractive but like in a Hot way? his smile was so nice that im pretty sure i garbled my words but i tried to tell him i really like love night.. and I was going to ayno and like idk if i was joking to myself or what but just loud enough i actually said, oh that’s lots of bling! and both ayno and jacob heard me, ayno laughed genuinely and jacob was like omg i can’t believe this idiot.. i don’t think i said anything to ayno, he seemed really uncomfortable so i didn’t want to bother him anymore. but his laugh was genuine i could tell, and for a split second i don’t think he was wearing his Idol Mask(TM) when he smiled. but that’s probably just wishful thinking lol

ACE I CANT BELIEVE HIM he looked so fucking good oh my god i got to him and i called him a Casanova and he went ayyyy with a thumbs up and finger guns and i wanted to die lmfao

when i got to baron he said my name but kinda pronounced it wrong but i corrected him, and he said it again. and then i told him my name rhymes with his and he said mine like four times in different ways trying it out and rhyming it with his stage name😭 HE DIDNT have to say my name that many times, god. his English was so fucking good holy shit and his pronounciation??? Amazing and he’s so handsome up close, like literal Disney prince handsome

ziu talks sooo much!!! I love it and he’s so good looking and kind and he shook my hand and ??? he said to enjoy the show and i told him to enjoy doing the show and he did like a shy smile kind of thing !! you could tell he was trying hard with the English i was rly proud of him

lou had a flower crown on and i complimented on it and he said my name so well and there was more with him but i forgot 😢

but that was just the fan sign lol so much other stuff happened... later during the show i nearly died bc of ayno.. they were picking people to go up on stage, right? and there was a girl in front of me also with her hand raised, like freaking out (maybe a bit too much?) and i was like okay she probably wants it so i kinda like.. stopped raising my hand and gestures to her? If that makes sense... he almost picked her but when he saw me be nice and let her have it, he literally stares at me and picks me, dead on...but someone random that he wasn’t pointing at like ROWS back walked on stage before we could realize it was me but that fucking eye contact i had with him made him SHOOT up my bias list lol now I have to rethink my entire order. im like 75% sure that he picked me because i wasn’t a crazy fan, like the girl in front of me was a bit much.. and obviously if i was willing to give it up im not that insane... ladies, it pays off to be a nice person!

AND JACOB WITH THE BABY please end me i fell for him so much like he’s almost overtaking baron that’s how much i liked him last night and how nice is vav that they tried to pick new people?? like they picked the fan boy, the little baby, the elderly lady.. and they even helped her to and from the stage 💗😍 AND SPEAKING of gentlemanly stuff there was a guy with a wheelchair during the snapshots in line for jacob and when they were done he personally pushed the guy in the wheelchair all the way to where the man needed to go. he breaks my heart and heals it simultaneously, he’s so underrated but still a genuinely and QUIET nice person.. he doesn’t do good stuff to be noticed. like when winter breeze was over, they had the rappers sing it too... but not jacob. i was so upset and he also didn’t do his solo song that i specifically told him i liked, but ayno did two of his. im not bitter at all what do u mean ??? 🤷‍♀️

i feel like more happened at the concert but i can’t think of much more, im sure other fan accounts will have it all. the only thing i can think about is the snapshots anyways lol

the group picture was ... interesting. the hi touch wasnt much except it reinforced my idea that ayno recognized me, bc instead of a high five he held my hand for as long as possible, probably an apology for earlier. i nearly died. the pic ended up looking awful but thats okay lol. then we tried to leave but i ended up going the wrong way, and a staff handed me roughly like actually grabbing my shoulders and pushing me in the right direction (which i did not appreciate, please chill, u just didnt tell us the right way to go...) and a few members saw that and didnt like either. ayno looked irritated but im sure  hes just irritated at everything at that point lol, lou and ace looked at me sympathetically, and i gave ace the happy bday present someone asked me to give to him. he was so surprised it was adorable.

OKAY, NOW FOR THE SNAPSHOTS: so i actually had 7 snapshots but ended up getting 2 with jacob and 2 with ayno instead of one with everyone (which.. if u look above is not a surprise lmfao) so the first snapshot i do is with baron, obviously.. and this ASSHOLE wants to kill me like... for everyone i tried to pick poses that werent too touchy bc a) im not comfortable w that and b) im sure they were all tired of being touched lol so i picked the one where you make fingerhearts while standing next to each other, but NOOOOO

baron decides he doesnt like that pose enough so he literally puts his hands on my shoulders, guides me to a position thats not only in FRONT of him but CLOSER TO HIM than i was originally!!! what the fuck!! thats not all after that he had to lean around me and basically like... he was so fucking close to me oh my god. he smelled so good i need to know where he gets his cologne. also lol when he moved me in front of him i was like... omg are u sure??? im kinda tall.. and he just laughs and smiles and leans into/around me. that picture of me looks so stupid bc i was so.. happy and Not Ready lmao

anyways i go to jacob next and do the e-t touch pose lol since like i said... didnt want touchy ones and he seemed amused that i picked that one. i wonder if it was one of the least popular ones? probably.. and GOD hes rly such a gentleman hottie like i rarely say h*t but.... jacob was hot. since we did the e.t touch pose we had to touch fingertips and (eyes emoji) not to have a hand kink or anything but hes got. really nice hands. long fingers. also lmfao he had long ass fingernails and i kinda joked with him like “youve got longer fingernails than i do!!” and he laughed and smiled at me. and okay i turn to leave like gotta have the next person go but APPARENTLY he wasnt ready for the next person yet...  i literally had to have the staff be like wait! jacob is saying bye to you!!! and i was like WHAT and turned around and ran back to him basically to say bye he was grinning the entire time and he waved his hand and held it up for (i thought) a high five but he grabbed it and i swear i fell for him right there. JACOB WHEN WILL U BE MINE godfjkdgd and i watched him for a little bit but he didnt say bye that enthusiatically to anyone else (that i saw, at least)

then i did the prom pose with st. van, it was adorable. you could tell he was rly trying to interact with everyone and idk what it is about him but i felt comfortable enough to actually do a Touchy pose (the holding arm pose, like prom yknow). we love an amazing leader~

oH i did one with ziu too!! i did the byung byung pose with the hands together and we both looked ridiculous lol. i dont remember much about him except he was so tall wtf taller than i expected.

at this time i keep looking at my pics and THE E.T PIC WITH JACOB??? makes me crack the hell up.... it had to have been fate, obviously. in the pic (from the camera flash, i guess) where our fingers were touching, it just SO HAPPENED THAT THERE WAS A FLASH OF LIGHT......... iconic. jacob n i are meant to be. so i get in line for him again bc i want to show him the pic, but by the time i got up there again i had forgotten. i was also like... ready for a touchy pose with him bc why not. i cant remember what pose i did with him or if anything happened, im sure i was in a trance then lmao. pretty sure he recognized me but i cant be sure. 

then i get in line for ayno and i have two snapshot tickets left, and the staff announces theres only a few mins left so i was like SHIT and figured id just do two with ayno bc i didnt wanna waste any. his line was so long and staff had to keep reminding ppl not to hug/touch him and i felt soooo bad. i picked poses that werent too close to him, and even those in the pic he looked like he was trying to not be close to me lol. i feel so bad for him, im sure he got a lot of weird fans that night. i think he recognized me (again) because he smiled genuinely like he was happy i was there. i think he appreciated that i picked poses that didnt require touching -- he probably had a Lott of that. when the second pic was being printed the staff member laughed at something someone said, but i thought she was laughing at my picture bc i take shit pics and i got offended for a second and so did ayno LMAO but then she explained and i said bye to him and he went back into Idol Mask(TM) and i think that was it. 

i also ate at ihop that night, it was great, we didnt get back to our hotel till after 2am, it felt so... young adult-ish to be out so late lmao. i was very proud at how everything turned out, i dont think i wouldve changed a thing

anyway, long story short: im in love with jacob, baron is a disney prince, ayno shot up my bias list (he was like... last lmao) and i appreciate him as a person. those three were the Big Three, but i still loved meeting the other members. 10/10 would recommend vav

[unproduciblesmackdown]

yall ive had some shit this shift...i got lectured and vaguely threatened for having to pee a lot which was coz i drink stuff thruout the day like coffee and tea which is Pee City and since ive been on deliveries steadily all day ill be gone on that for ages and have to pee when i get back as well as the other shit i do. like i was literally this afternoon joking w coworkers who are actually cool to me abt how i can be at work for hours before people who have been in the store the whole tkme will realize im even there coz im a) out on deliveries most of the time, like for real if its a busy lunch period i can be at work for 2-3 hrs and actually be in the store 10-20 min and b) when im here im moving around actually doing shit and people have always been saying how its hard to get ahold of me coz im always going around doing shit and thats another reason people dont realize im here and c) people just dont notice me so like today my freakin bad i had to pee a lot coz my only comforting routine in this place besides constant disassociation is working my way thru a drink and i happen to like both coffee and tea even tho it does make me pee and sometimes i get the coffee dumps, truth. so today since ive been in and out on deliveries the whole time and i havent been talking to anyone since none of the people who notice me were much here and since ive been moving around the store since im actually doing shit, i get yelled at for using the bathroom too much.... like i get the issue of people who give themselves Bathroom Breaks which realistically we all do but sometimes people do it too long or whatever and like yeah while im taking a shit i will check my twitter or make a shitpost or something, like we all use our phones throughout the day including the managers and im not gonna feel bad for doing that but i am not thrilled w being accused of using the bathroom needlessly when im using it coz i need to use it....and like not like i can prove im peeing every time coz i'd be glad to give you a urine sample every time but they prob dont want that.... anyways whats real good is how i was just talking the other day about how this one delivery driver who's been here forever and was just given like acknowledgement for being a good employee, i was talking w someone about how like he doesn't actually do shit, and i was like i try desperately to ignore him but now that you mention it i never see him doing anything really? and like if you ask him to do some basic shit we're Supposed to do he wont or he'll ask someone else to do it. and today he was here and when we were slow and i was like washing tables and taking dishes and making coffee I actually paid attention to him and he definitely would just like stand by the computer even tho we had no new orders and then walk to a different spot and then go back to the computer and then walk energetically somewhere else and i think a couple times i saw him carry a few dishes to the sinks. and he's fine and im doing shit and getting lectured for causing issue for not doing my work like granted this was from the same manager who once made me mad for getting on me for Slacking Off coz i was leaning on the bread slicer, which i was leaning on coz i was trying to read the order info on the computer next to it, and was also happy about because i was doing a lot of work that day more than even usual. and another driver complained about her doing that exact same thing aka complaining about Leaning when the driver had been working hard and i was like yep ive had that happen too like now i essentially cant use the bathroom because the fact that i keep myself busy means that most people, who have a tendency to not notice my presence even if i AM standing right there, legit dont know im there and nobody sees me doing any work coz they dont see me coz im doing god damn work........ im annoyed coz like i can think of maybe seven other employees who distinctly notice me and are cool with me and im cool with them, and most other employees are fine and decent to me and stuff but theres a couple people who are shitty including this one guy who just now was talking with this dude who i thought was a decent guy? and they were kind of making fun of me and i went up to the decent guy like hey i was actually right over there and totally heard you guys, coz i was not in the mood, and he just brushed me off and i was like fantastic. plus for some reason the manager who fussed at me decided to do it all formally right before i had to go on a delivery, and so i didnt get enough time to say everything on my mind about my Problems with the fact that this was occurring which i was absolutely going to do in full on account of i think its bullshit and im no longer in the mood in my general life to act like i think that kind of bs is warranted, but before i could talk about it long enough i felt like id said everything i wanted to, she was like ok u gotta go on the delivery and im like you still havent given me that $60 you forgot to cash me out and you're allowed to say what you want and i cant respond? i get that mgmt is bullshit and i had just been talkingn about how mgmt is bs a couple days ago but i just dont care for me personally i am going to answer back. and because of being abused all my life a lot of times i have an automatic response to these kind of situations where i try to speak back and the stress just naturally makes me cry and then i gotta be like sorry im crying its a physiological reflex i earned for being alive. and now that you rushed me out to make a delivery i have to be trying not to cry at work, and extend my cryish period by having to try holding it back, and also extend it on account of im still got damnt pissed about it like god knows im not one to praise myself beyond reason but im a good worker here and ironically that means people might not ever notice it and I've definitely never heard a good word from management about anything i do since i dont even know when and instead i get in trouble coz one day i have to pee, coz other days i also have to pee coz i have established one comforting habit to get through customer service bs where i get weird treatment from other coworkers at least once a day usually and sometimes dont even have a work friend around and so my fucking bad i have coffee i guess like apparently my fuckin problem is that im both quiet almost all the time and keep to myself but also sometimes joke with people or say something to them at all just to be nice coz other coworkers are quiet and dont get shit from people or are always in a less than warm mood and dont get shit about it. i close tomorrow aka there for 10-11 hrs but at least a coworker im work friends with and who has a similar demeanor is around for most of it or i swear to christ. hopefully i ever deliver to someplace with a fucking bathroom coz i guess i cant god damn use ours anymore without being monitored coz im not a good enough worker natcho like i just dont know how im supposed to have my bladder on trial and if managers are only noticing that i pee more than them and not that i do work all day and extend myself to help out when things get dicey, well then like if nobody sees it i sure dont have proof i did it other that remember that time we had a massive dinner rush and i stayed an hr past my shift and was not only the sole person taking food to the tables but also taking dishes back and washing tables and restocking junk in the dining room, no you don't remember because nobody was working beside me and so as far as everyone else knows i did nothing and so anyways too theres nothing for someone with anxiety who worries about being monitored and judged like telling me ive been monitored and judged and now i cant pee anymore, that'll teach me to give myself one nice thing thru-out the day. i also dont have anything to rely on to comfort me after something shitty at work and tragically work is most of my socialization and most of the only thing i "do" and i feel like im being treated kind of crap for the fact that i do put in effort every day to be helpful around there. like thanks that i have to bite the inside of my mouth now coz im trying not to stress / angry cry coz i have nowhere to put it. like i dont care if this manager thinks this shit is part of the job like i deal with enough shit in life right now to Not be angry about this. like boy you guys are really making it hard to think about having to leave this store when i haul off to a different area in just a bit and i honestly dont know about the fact that some people especially this one guy who is just a dick to like everybody keep saying shit comments about me coz they cant see me and im like fuck off. like im honestly sick of it and im sitting on the fact that this dude also has said racist crap ive been an audio witness too and said something racist about a coworker to her face and she told me about it like. management is part of what i'm mad at right now but if im getting narced on for the fact coffee and tea go right thru me then i think i have a complaint here whenever the next time he says some shit is like when i'm here i honestly keep to myself and try to be doing work whenever we need work done and apparently thats why im now getting shit and sorry this post exists and is so long but im real peeved and the only way to put a long rant from me about shit anywhere is to put it here

[onesidedimpel]

chocolate hair chapter 2 shopping in korea

The next day i woke up with a light headache, Groaning lightly a i sat up on my bed. I rubbed my eyes and looked around, Ida was still asleep so i wuietly got up and got to the kitchen with with phone and headphones , listning to taeyang as i made some tea. my phone had a million notice on its screen but i was to tired to check it right away. I went out on the roof/balcony to check out the view, smiling at the soft breeze touching my cheek. the houses going up to the sky, people chattering down on the street, birds chirping and my head filled with wonderful music, i sat there with my blueberry tea and pajamas on. this was truley the best  just looking out over seoul, seeing the morning sky, pink and blue. The door soon opend and Ida walked out with her own cup with tea. she sat down next to me. her hair was fluffy and messy, but it still looked amazing. our classes wouldent start intill next week so we had4 days to get settled in. so today was to shop some clothes, get our uniforms and buy some food so we could eat. --- once we had gotten ready, we both wearing our favorite outfits, mine; highwaisted blue jeans, a black T-shirt, with a darkblue bomber jacket, and White converse. my hair in a messy bun on my head. and Ida wearing Black High waisted Jeans with holes in the knees, a striped White and black shirt, with a couple of black Vans. her hair straightend, laying flat but it still had volume in it, looking Amazing as usually. befor we left we toke a mirror selfie doing our aegyo. I toke my bag and  we where off into the city, we walked down our street to go to the bus stop, we waited for the bus for about 5 minutes, once we got on we paid for the ride and toke the seats futher down in the bus, we both where excited and couldent stop joking and laughing around, we soon where in the mall. As we walked through store through store , buying more and more clothes, we had worked for two years to affored this whole thing so of course we where gonna spend the Money abit, we stopped by a café  to take a break and  get something to eat. -''uaaagh my legs hurts'' I complained after i had orderd and was now sitting in one of the chairs with Ida across from me. I leaned my head back, all our shopping bags where on the side of the chairs. -'' I feel you'' Ida said and sighed lightly. I soon looked forward again after a minute of just complaining, our drinks where soon served, I had a Mango smoothie while Ida had a strawberry one. -''that Yellow hoodie really was cute, im glad i got u to buy it '' Ida said afer awhile as we looked through the clothes we bought and chatted about how happy we where with the uniforms. -''me to, it is sure as hell cute as fuck'' I said and smiled, taking a sip from the smoothie, smiling at the good flavour and the Little suger rush i got. -''I like the baby blue shirt you got with the Avocado you got ''  I said to Ida and she smiled. -''I wasent sure if it would fit my body you know so i was abit unconfident about it but it sure was looking good though'' Ida said drinking from her smoothie.   I dont know what it was but i had feelt Eyes on me ever since we got into the café but i couldent seem to locate who was looking at me.  Me and Ida had already been sitting there for a good 22 minutes, when 7 new costumers walked in, at first i didnt notice who it was  Intill ida looked and told me, we both feelt abit tense as we didnt wanna fangirl infront of them. The BTS members where fooling around as usual, being cute and all  and when my Eyes saw NamJoon, i feelt my heart stop and then started to Pound alot like it wanted to jump right out  and into NamJoon's Arms. once the members had orderd they toke a big table so all of them could sit but it still had one chair to Little so NamJoon walked over to our table. -''Can I take this chair?'' He asked in korean and me and Ida looked at eachother, i probably looked terrified. -''Ah yeah you can take it '' Ida answerd in English as we knew he would understand, he smiled politly -''Thank you , Ladie's '' He said in his dark voice, giving me abit of the chills down my spine. I smiled softly back  as he then toke the chair and carried it over to their table, he sat down, the rest of the members glanced over at us  and both me and Ida tried not show how badly we wanted to go and ask for a Picture with them. we sat their eventually with our phones, snapping eachother over snow  trying to discuss if we should ask for a Picture or not.  I toke Another big sip from my smoothie and glanced over at the BTS members and got Eye Contact with NamJoon, i had a hard time  hiding my blush or look away but when i got Another snap from Ida i tored my Eyes away from his. Eventually i convinced Ida that we should get a Picture and that this was once in a Life time chance. we both got up and gatherd our things , making sure that we didnt forget anything at our table. me and Ida held eachothers hands as we walked over to their table. -''Excuse me?  ehm, can we ask for a Picture or is it a bad time?'' Me and Ida  said , almost in a unison. in English of course The Members looked at us with big Eyes as they noticed and Heard we werent korean. with Ida's light blond hair and green eyes and my chocolate Brown hair and blue Eyes. -'' Ah yeah yeah sure we can'' Jungkook said with a thick accent, he stood up , for being the youngest he was very tall,, the others agreed, it was noticeble that he didnt speak English very much.  the other members stood up as well so we could take a photo together. I held up my phone trying to get everyone into the Picture but was to short, soon NamJoon toke the phone holding up more so everyone got to be in the Picture, me and ida next to eachother in the middle , and the rest around us, everyone doing ageyo faces. After the photo was taken NamJoon gave me the phone back, our hands lightly touched abit. giving me the chills again. -''Thank you so much, sorry to bother you'' I said. Namjoon looked at me and smiled. -'' your welcome , hey arent you that girl at the airport?'' NamJoon asked, looking at me. I blushed lightly. -'' ehm yeah its me, thanks again for the help at that time and thanks for the photo'' I said, bowing my head abit. -'' ah no no dont thank me, im glad to be of help, im sorry about you being pushed and all, i really hope you two come to the Concert this weekend''  NamJoon said with the biggest and brightest smile. -'' ah yeah, of course we would come!'' I said happily , the rest of members joined in the conversation, being happy to know we both would come, i feelt Ida's hand grab onto mine, she had been quiet the whole time, she was  very nervous and probably scared to faint. -'' we will do our best and also befor you go...'' NamJoon said and grabbed a tissue and a pen, Writing something down.                                                                                                                                                -''here..'' he said and gave the tissue to me, i grabbed it. -'' thanks , see you at the concert''  I said befor me and Ida left them so they could continue eating.  I didnt dare to look at the tissue just yet , both me and Ida needed air after this. We walked out of the mall to grab some air. this was abit to much, we had meet them two times now in a row  more then we ever thought we would ever be to see them. -''omg I can't belive this... its to much for me , my heart can't handle'' Ida said, holding a hand over her chest towards her heart. -'' I know right, we got to see them Close up again and talk to them aswell.... '' I said, we sat down on a bench.   -'' let me see that photo, i swear to god that one of them had their arm around me'' Ida said leaning on me as i toke up my phone to  check the photo. correct, Suga held his arm around Ida, suga was Ida's bias. she let out a silent scream as she fangirled over this.                                                 -''Let's look at the tissue NamJoon gave you, i wanna know what it says...'' She then said after calming down. -''ah yes , i almost forgot about it'' i toke the tissue up , slowly opening it, it revealed a number, was this NamJoon's Number, had he given me his number? -''omg!!!! you got his number!!!!'' Ida screamed, not so silent anymore. ---  

((hello hello, this is the second chapter of this story, what do you Think of it? ur welcome to like and comment, the story will also be posted on my tumblr oppaNamJoon, hope you will continue Reading this ♥  there will be a second part aswell)) 

[allshe-needed-waslove]

My names kitty, I'm 16 years old. I am an addict. And yes I'm aware that I'm stuck deep in addiction, the first part of recovery is knowing you're an addict. The first step is about where I'm at. It's all started over the lose of my first love. He was handsome, sweet, and caring and everything I've always wanted. At 15 me and him decided to move in together, let me tell you. (First mistake). This man of mine I thought was so in love with me. He tried to have kids with me, dropped 5 bills on housing stuff for us to get our own place. Gave me a promise ring, *on one knee* I was in love and vulnerable. What can I say. I believed every single lie that came out of his petty mouth. (Second mistake). Turned out I was being used for my body. Forgot to mention this man was 21 and I, 15. I'm going to keep this short but just no I could go on forever about this Man. I thought we were so in love and I had found my king... so there comes his idea about king and queen matching hand tattoos. (BIGGEST mistake). Clearly wr aren't together anymore. Well when I moved into his basement with him wr started drinking. blah, blah, long story short he became very emotional, depressed, and filled with physical aggression. I no longer new who he was. I was 7 months clean off blow the whole time me and him were together. As someone that's very deep in addiction I am always addicted to something that makes me feel good. And.. he did. Little did I no it was a disguise. This man, I never saw as a creep for dating me at only 15. I never saw the problem cause "we were so in love" . I'm just glad we didn't end up with kids, although we tried for the whole 7 months. He promised to marry me. I belived him. Hes the first man i was 100% faithful too but thats mostly because i was in love and grew up. Im writing so much about my ex man because he was the root of the start to my addiction. I would have litteraly killed for this man. Well him being an ex addict himself, he had lots of stories, drugs, crime, Exc. I liked them "Older bad boys" and I wanted to be everything he wanted. Shortly I became everything he didn't want even near him. I didn't think he was a creep for dating a 14/15 year old until I saw a side of him I'm scared from. I found out he was talking to 13 year Olds trying to hookup and "get to no them" more and more often, this was when we were on a break I belive. I later turned 16 and he completely lost interest in me. Fully. At one point I was begging for him to stay with me all the way to his house to see a bunch a little kids from 13-17 chilling in his house and in the backyard. At this point I didn't fully notice he's not all right in the head. At 16 I guess I aged out for him. He no longer told me he loved me. No longer kissed my forehead and scratched my back before bed, he no longer rubbed and kissed my belling praying to creator that theres life inside me.Slept with his back facing me. Drank, hungojt with other people all the time. Hid his phone, changed his passwords. Only intimancy and feeling of love was when we would have sex. I was just so comfortable with him, more then my own family. He was the first guy to make me orgasm, and that was a sense of comfort for me (Besides my new love now that I'll mention later on). That's all he ever wanted to do, it was all about sex and booze at the end there. But sadly enough for me it was alchol and speed. He would force me to send him nude pictures and bugged and bugged to the point where he broke up with ne because I wouldn't send a twerk video and because I didn't send nudes when he wanted them.. I still went out of my way to try to make him happy, to keep the spark going. I'd bring him back a chocolate milkshake extra large every single day I got off work.. I wouldn't get a smile, a thankyou or anything. Most I'd get is a "put it right here". I dont really want to get to much into the topic but during sexual intercourse he would hit me, and chocked me till I went blue, you will all think "yea he's just into kinky stuff". But listen, every trust I couldn't breath.. he got satisfaction out of it. And then he took what he would do in bed to doing on a regular basis. Including the slapping and choking.. and I can't say I liked it because he had evil in his eyes, he meant to hurt me . Not please me. I was young and confused when I tried to leave he'd grab the biggest kitchen knife and start to slit his arms or neck. I was manipulated to shit. He left me a day after my birthday, I can't know forsure but I know it was sometime in June. I didn't know why, and I still don't know why I love the man. He's abusive emotionally and physically, and all around. I put up with being called ugly and fat everyday. He told me he bought me makeup because I am ugly underneath. He ruined my confidence. Not a good guy. I say he was the root of the start to my addiction because he really was. Stupid enough as it sounds I wanted to walk in his shoes.. see what he's saw, for me to understand why he is the way he is. We were very off and on around this point. First breakup I went out to grab beer, to short form this I ended up running into a girl I knew that I used to have mad beef with,.. and we ran into some guy I used to know that ended up being a drug dealer... she was addicted to meth, she has a beautiful daughter that I call my niece, we ended up at rock bottom together. We both lost everything. Both our family's gave up on us for months. MY ADDICTION AND WHEN AND HOW IT STARTED: I have been doing dope since I was 13, Xtc was my drug of choice, then it was molly,lean,cocaaine, any pills I could get my hands on, alchol. Basically anything that got me fucked up. Why did i start? I cant answer that, ever since i was young ive fantasized about escaping reality and just always feelings good, I was clearly depressed but instead of perscribed meds i chose to self madicate using street drugs, witch left me with psychosis, bad depression, anxiety, panic attacks and i was recently diagnosed bipolar. I didn't get on hard shit till I turned 16. When me and this man were on what i called a break, and i was out getring beer like i mention i ran into this girl then we hung out and ran into this guy. At this point i didnt no she did meth, until she took a rail infront of me. I was mind blown i thought meth made you completly differnt. This older man we ran into, ended up hanging out with us for the night, blah blah blah he sold a belt for dope, we took a taxi from the whore house , ditched it outside an apartment (that reeked like throw up) went inside and he had us work for him, well he was waiting on his buddy (dope dealer) to come by so he could sample his new re-up. He had me and this girl post adds on Craigslist as escorts. (Only in intentions to rob the guy) but we still had to use pictures of ourselves. I was having a cooler. And drinking a 1L 9f vex well everyone was waiting on their dope, I never once thought I'd be doing meth and especially the amount I consumed that day. Buddy guy gets bad starts until packing his pack pulls out stolen checks,IDs, bankcards, alchol, batteries, dope scale. Just a bunch a random things. At this point I had a buzz just a buzz I was totally aware of my surroundings and in control of what I was doing though. Buddy guy pulls out his meth pipe and starts to scrape the rez using a Bobby pin. He got a bunch of bumps set up one for each of us... including me. He wasn't aware if never used meth, but he also wasnt trying to convince me not too. Actually he was convincing me to just take it "its just a small bump" he said. I saw this girl and him both take their hot rails ive heard about them before from my ex.. hotrails are how he got into dope too. And dam did i ever think it was cool as fuxk to see smoke come out well snorting and no feeling the burn od it in my nose. I told myself just once, yes ive seen the comercials but did that stop me? No. Because i didnt no i had addixtion issues at that point. I was 7 months clean, but of course it was all my doing usuing that night. As soon as i took that hot rail. I was fucked, i knew id be hooked. I ended up buying 8 points nit knowing how much the prices are i gave him 40$ a movie giftcard and my bran bew expensive box mod. I was desperate to not come down. If i could go back to that day i first used, i would have went home when my mother called me to come home. Me and my man ended up getting back togther, he was the first petson i tild about doing meth that night, i met up woth him in the morning and he called my mom. My mom balled her eyes out so confused on what to do. Her daughter is doing meth. How could a parent take that in.. but nono that wasnt it katie ended up causing 2000$ worth of damage in her bedroom. Pretty sure i put every body part u could think of through the wall and breaking everything in reach in my small bedroom. I have even pulled of the blinds from my window and my head through the wall more then once that we now need to replace the wall. I smashed a picture of a cat in a frame and used the shards as weapons on myself and others. I went nuts, and this was all over drugs and a boy. Parents ended up calling the cops and they picked me up under the mental heath act and had me put in general psychiatry for 2 weeks. At this point my "man" ex man let's say, moved on.. well I was getting better and staying clean to get him back he was laying with other bitches. He hated me. I don't no why. I dont no what I did, never did and never have. I never got closure.. and let me tell you that straight fucked me up to this day. He won't and hasn't talked to me until recently I made a new fb cause he blocked me on everything and asked if we could be civil he said ya and we had a short talk. But yet, I still don't no why he left. But this gets better when I got clean in hospital I texted him and let him no I'm clean and the respond I got made me loose all hope. He replied, "I don't care go back to dope". And he not only once but multiple times told me to end my life. And I wanted to o oh so fucking wanted to . Death and dope. I wanted them bad. I went on doing meth more and more, hanging with the street people n drug dealers more and more that getting high became a chore. A need. And at this poiny i didnt no i was an addict i was just "doing it for fun" me n this girl were in and oyt of the local whore house cleaning and organizing junk for dope. We always managed to have dope. The more dope I did the more my tolerance went up. The more I needed more. Snorting it wasn't doing the trick for me anymore I was up for days and decided to start smoking it, but I was home in my room without a pipe so I tested put the old tinfoil and hooter method. It worked . A whole new rush, slightly different. And then from there on out I only smoked it and took hot rails. I ended up getting kicked out of my family home to the streets. All my stuff left in the front of the house because I wasn't coming home for curfew or I was coming home high and I have younger siblings in the house. But she did what was best for her and kicked me out. Still there for me . Just taking away the roof over my head and hot water to shower in out of my life. Because those are privileges. That was it. I wanted to be indepented, she tossed ne the ropes.. i then needed to make money. So i msged buddy guy and asked him for help and tips on how to make money, he then told me to come over. I went over and we discussed work. Was it legal? Maybe 13/100%. At only 16 I was moving product that shouldn't even exist. I first became a secretary and worked his phone, then I became someone who bags the dope (let me tell you it's hard being an addict in front of so much dope) I then ended up doing runs for him, then the higher ups met me and took me for a few days to transfer large quantities of dope.. and thats when i first tried fentanyl. I was transfer with a higher up guy and my clueless ass didnt no wtf he was tossing me on tin foil, i thought it aas speed at first. That hit me pretty good. But not once have i over dossed. At that point i was moved into the "trap" or the "shack" I always had dope, everyone wanted to be my frriend. Of course thought. Drugs make us like that .it's like we're conected by magnets were always were the dope is. I got picked up by a higher up dude one night and I was told to pick up our hard (crack) at this point I was doing crack Fent and meth. I'm lucky to be alive. There was this other kid that hung around he was a intervenes user a year younger then I am, doing the same shit, making sales to keep his high up. When I went out I was brought to this really dirty shack, I was helping this guy work by scaling and bagging and labeling, it was a weird house. I heard muffled screams behind this curtain that separates the room as he was showing me weapons.. like weapons to torture.. anyway this guy I guess was really feeling me I ignored the sound of the muffled screams because on speed and Fent I felt immortal I wasn't scared of anything or anything.. this guy tried to get with me and obviously in the situation I was in I said no. Then he tried making me do ghb with him witch is one drug I'll never touch. I ended up staying way later with this guy then I should have, he had me start working his phone and wouldn't let me leave his place. Finally I convinced him to let me go and he got a driver to bring me back to where I was staying by the time I got there I was already super fucking late with the dope I got an 80 rock of hard 2 points of down 2 points of Fent and 4 points of side for working that night. They loved me cause I was an innocent kid with no record. I got there and I was so fucked up on Fent and meth that I was being loud as fuxk trying to get my body over the balcony railing on the first floor into the apartment. (We went through that way) and when I walked in everyone was posses straight pissed. That they didn't get their dope like 5 hours ago. Lots of shit happend in that house I lived at but the most fucked is when I came back with that dope everyone was pissed at me n in a crappie mood the kid younger then me needed his Fent bad and literally threatened me with a dirty used dirty. I ran to the bathroom Sar on the floor and balled my eyes out. I just worked hard and had to put up with this buddy all over me just to get threatened and told to kill myself. I then left the washroom and gave him his dope he shot up 5 ps of meth then a point of Fent he ended up going into straight psychosis. The people there didn't no what to do he was gouging out the skin on his neck and his knee bleeding everyone. Him being totally capable of anything I was the only one that stepped in dragged him to the couch and help him in my arms well he's balling in complete bad trip mode yelling and saying "please don't "persons name" I'm sorry" thinking he was getting attached by this person he earlier almost got a rock to the dome from. Blah blah blah. Okay, the house owner wakes up that morning me n this guy are past out on the couch me still holding him with his arms restrained and she walks out to a bunch of needles thinking I was shooting up too she then threw a plate at my head through all my shit out her front door kicked the shit out of me. Held a knife to my throat leaving scraps from the blade. Me being a careless bitch saying "Do it, fucking take my life then" with a sharp blade and shaky hand to my jug I then got my dad to pick me up. My mom ended up showing to and she called the police, wasn't worth my time to charge her. I don't rat, for even atempted murder. She got off Scott free. But the cops told me I would have to go to the hospital if I didn't give him a video taped report on her. So off to the hospital I went again.. I don't rlly remember much after that my long term memory is fucking fried. Well skip a month or so, I started selling for myself with my best friend as a partner. We were bomb ass little hustlers. Let me tell you. Did that for awhile they my best friend went off to detox and I started flipping dope with this guy "her man" and making him stacks everyday, oh yah I also got fired from my job before that cause I got into heroin, buddy doesn't hire heroin addicts because they just do the dope. I found myself a new job but before flipping with my best friends man i was a runner for the "higher up" guy. I was selling people meth, crack, heroin, Fent, oxys, pills of all kinds, cocaaine anything u could think of I had it for you. Do I feel good about it? No at all. I could have been the one to sell someone dope to have them od and die. I feel like a straight piece of shit for my selfish actions. Lucky enough no one od-d on my dope. When I was selling for my best friends man i ended up get into poking (needles) and to this day I haven't quit yet. There something in the rush that I love. I've been in and out of hospital for drug use none stop. The doctor put me on extended leave with 7 conditions. Not taking meds and no drug use are the hardest ones I have to face. I'm an addict. But right now I'm a recovering addict. Was 9 days clean . 1 slip last night. long story short I went to off to treatment almost a month ago and I was there for 2 and a half months I met a guy he's from van I'm from abby. Fell in love all over again. This guy gave me hope for the future . But we ended up awoling (running away from treatmemt) And going down town east hastings for 2 days getring fucked up.. me doctoring him. Witch I feel so fucking shitty for. Got kicked out of treatment brought back to abby to stay in a youth shelter witch I didn't stay at got back on the streets again witch I forgot to mention i lived on since July and even stayed in a tent with a guy at one point. I really hit rock bottom but now I'm learning to swim to get back to the surface. I can do this. The guy in treatment I was dating ended up leaving me because people told him I'm cheating on him witch I never in the world would do. I never wanated to loose him. Then day after we break up he's in Abby fucking my so called best friend. Dropped them like bad habits. I ended up relapsing last night I'm admitted in the hospital rn so I'm high with nothing to do so I thought I'd write my story for future me and my kids one day. There's always hope