#if you read this i'll love you forever

[heartorbit]

i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you

[zuzusexytiems]

OOML art, 4 years apart (2025 vs 2021)

aka the real secret to Art Improvement is to just be really, really obsessed with a rarepair that you never stop drawing actually

[1000-gay-sons]

i like to think their second year was full of this kind of thing

[marclef]

today's a special day.... in celebration of my 800 Follower milestone, i've decided to finally share some writing with everyone! i've... never been brave enough to share my writing online, besides a few very close friends, so i do hope you enjoy it!

but, it's a little backstory stuff with Peppino, Fake Peppino, and Eyhm! a Chef and a Kitten's first meeting with a strange creature... i hope everything goes well...

(i am nowhere near brave enough to ever make an ao3 account... a Google Drive link will have to do 😅

and some EXCEPTIONAL art the wonderful @pizzabox-box made based on it!!! (and if you aren't already following them, you need to do so NOW!!! 👇)

[cadillacjohnf1]

cadillacjohnf1's book club recommendations (because I can)

[khaoala]

Don't judge a book by its cover. An essay by Mew Pt. 2

Mew in his revenge era went shopping and thought, "you know what screams I'm gonna fuck you up, maybe you'll like it, maybe you won't? Floral/patterned shirts," and proceeded to buy a bunch of those.

BOOK KASIDET as MEW WITSARUT ( ONLY FRIENDS EPS. 7-12 )

Correction: I missed one outfit in ep. 6 and instead of remaking that set, I'll just post it below because it's actually the hottest Mew has looked, so I'm not even upset.

[just-null]

i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him

also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻

also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)

N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.

he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.

BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.

i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!

Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.

He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!

if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......

[dyne-osaur]

literally no one cares but i'm putting these aus up here in case i forget them <3 + low-quality jane/penny bodyswap doodle so:

penny is so desperate to save her now-friends she accidentally changes the course of fate: the one i'm working on rn! she tries to save them from their death but they go on the rollercoaster anyway but she isn't on the ride and calls an ambulance and accidentally on purpose saves them ! they weren't supposed to be brought back but penny was like "NO! I NEED TO SAVE THEM! I CARE AB THEM!" she uses savannah bc penny and jane are two different people to her and she wants to be her own person :) the others deal with injury and hospital stuff but i've never really been in a hospital for smth serious and idk much ab injuries so my knowledge is limited to google and stuff lol !

everyone lives w/ no injuries only their memories: the one i might do next? jane refuses to leave without her new besties bc they are the only people she knows :( they all hold hands while they go to watch jane go and she drags them through the curtain while karnak shorts out so she doesn't get to find out who she is and they have to deal with a jane in a new body and try to find out who she is heheh (I HAD TO FIND THE POST THAT KINDA INSPIRED ME IT'S FROM PENNYDOE ON TUMBLR HERE from them having to teach her to be human? ig? also a little bit like "Now we know what YOLO really means" by NeverEndingCarnival on ao3 but rly i think it's just bc no one gets injured and i'm planning on it being a really long fic) anyways that happens and yeah

ghost au!: inspired by the ghost au of witcherstorm bc that's the very first ghost au i saw that was like "I FREAKING LOVE GHOST AUS HOW COME I DIDN'T THINK OF THIS WHEN I GOT INTO RTC WTF" anyways they're all dead stuck in limbo and a few days later they all like get whooshed into the real world and they're all like "um where are we wtf happened aren't we supposed to be dead" and they like look around after re-orienting themselves and see penny and she's like "HELL YEAH IT WORKED" cause she tried a ghost summoning ritual to bring them back and then shenanigans ensue like them freaking out ppl at the school esp rude ones and protecting penny and meeting ezra who can't see them but knows they're there and penny keeps accidentally talking to them and yeah!

penny "what-did-i-get-myself-into" lamb and the amnesiac choir: so i lied there were 4 aus but i forgot the fourth one so i didn't write it in the og post but i just remembered it so basically penny gets brought back along with everyone else before the accident and everyone thinks she's insane bc she wonders out loud ab the warehouse and they're all like "girl wtf" and she's freaking out like "wait they don't remember it shit shit shit" and she has to try to get them to bond like they did in the warehouse (goddamn she has her work cut out for her) and she's kinda bad at it bc she accidentally sometimes spills stuff from the warehouse but she's actually p good at it bc it's only ever small stuff that they happened to have mentioned before so they all think she just really listens to them but she keeps dropping hints and basically as soon as someone learns the lesson they learned while in the warehouse they regain their memories of that time but they have to be subtle around everyone else bc the rest would just think they're crazy so it's a whole ordeal lol

i want to do smth for all of them but i have to work on one at a time or i'll get overwhelmed but that's basically it for the ideas bouncing around my head

low-quality doodle as promised:

my brain is rotting sm i literally have like three rtc aus floating around in my head at this point in time and i'm already working on something for one of them and the other two are just like marinating and i'm so ADSKLFJAKLJKL

anyways this isn't part of any of the 3 aforementioned aus but imagine if jane came back but instead of coming back as penny lamb with two braids and a doll that looks suspiciously like jane doe she came back as penny lamb in jane doe's body that looked suspiciously like the old penny lamb

[kayvsworld]

mcu is guilty of many crimes but the worst is of course that they don't understand that my #1 priority is the little robots. where are U and Dum-E. where is redwing. why did you hurt redwing. gun emoji i just want to talk

[reinvent-and-believe]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James Tartt Sr. & Jamie Tartt, Roy Kent/Jamie Tartt, Georgie | Jamie Tartt's Mother & Jamie Tartt, Simon & Jamie Tartt, Sam Obisanya & Jamie Tartt Characters: Jamie Tartt, Roy Kent, James Tartt Sr., Georgie | Jamie Tartt's Mother, Simon (Ted Lasso), Sam Obisanya Additional Tags: Character Study, Established Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trauma, Wakes & Funerals, Homophobia, Past Child Abuse, Threats of Violence, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, James Tartt Sr. Is His Own Trigger Warning, Set Two Years Post-Season 3 Summary:

Bill Tartt is smaller in person than he’d looked in the picture, smaller than he is in Jamie’s memory. He’s skinny and old, like James, but the uncanny likeness between all three of them is there, even stiffened in death. The stubborn set of the jaws, the forceful cleft chins, the slope of the brows. Bill and James and Jamie all lying dead in a casket and all staring down at a corpse, a shifting, blurring Tartt shadow that pervades the atmosphere, choking everything in its wake.

— A funeral reunites Jamie with the Tartt side of the family. As memories resurface, Jamie is forced to reckon with his father’s legacy and its place in the family he’s created for himself.

[drarrily-we-row-along]

Hey everyone.

Maybe some of you have noticed that my writing's been super sporadic since like June (if you haven't that's very okay) but I just wanted to write a little bit about what's been happening in my life because it's had a pretty big impact on my writing.

It turns out that I'm actually ace.

So, if you happen to notice an uptick in me writing fics with ace characters who still get to be loved, I'm just trying to process a thing.

Please feel free to skip the rest of this post if you're not interested in the harrowing journey of self discovery. I am absolutely giving too much information about my life, I'm just really working at processing everything and I'm hoping writing it out will help. And honestly, there have been some beautiful souls in the Tumblr community who have given me some beautiful encouragement (including but not limited to @basicallyahedgehog who answered an anon ask I sent them the other day with so much kindness and encouragement because I'd bawled my eyes out about one of their fics featuring ace Harry/Draco.).

(Anyway. If you want to read a ramble about all of the things I'm struggling with at the present moment, I'm gladly accepting advice and kindness at this time. Please read below the cut and chime in if you have anything hopeful to add.)

For most of my life I've pretty comfortably called myself a "picky bi" and in the past couple of years have labeled myself "demisexual" because I'm not sex repulsed; I've had sex, it was fine/good when it's with someone who I'm in love with. I moved on from the labeling, content with the label I'd given myself and whatnot.

It's been a minute (read: 8+ years) since I've been in a relationship that got to the point where I've considered having sex but I didn't really think all that much of it. In retrospect, I think this is largely because I've grown a lot in terms of self respect and honoring my own autonomy. Somewhere around 25, I started saying no when I didn't want something and if the other person didn't respect that decision they were not worth my time.

Anyway, it didn't really occur to me that perhaps going nearly a decade without thinking about/wanting to have sex with anyone (and without experiencing even vague aesthetic attraction to someone with only the odd exception here and there- some of you saw that post a couple of months ago, apparently just having the thought that someone is pretty isn't the same as attraction that allo people experience- so that panic now seems pretty unnecessary. It literally boggles my mind that people can just see a person they've never met and want to have sex with them. Anyway, I'm digressing.) Apparently, it's not a common occurrence even among demisexuals to go that long without thinking about sex if you have emotional intimacy with people (which I do). So fast forward to June when I went to a conference for lgbtqia christians and started listening to people talk about attraction.

To say that my experience of attraction and desire for sex is profoundly different than that of nearly all of the people that I talked to at that conference would be an understatement.

After that conference, I started talking to a lot of friends about their experience of attraction and their desire for sex (eventually this also included some new friends who are demi/ace) and have been a little flabbergasted by their responses. Suddenly, in light of the fact that my body doesn't interpret a lot of things the way that other peoples' seem to, a lot of things started to make sense.

I've been called a flirt (at best, and a [cock]tease in more unpleasant moments) my entire life because I always want to give people gentle physical affection; I love holding hands, touching people on the arm while we're having a conversation, playing with peoples' hair, hugging, leaning, the list is long- none of those things have ever felt like flirting to me. Every one of those actions was the end in itself, there was no artifice in my touches, no desire or even thought for more, but APPARENTLY that is not the thing that happens in a lot of peoples' bodies. It is incomprehensible to me that simple, affectionate touches are not something that everyone just wants to do to anyone that they harbor platonic affection for. This also applies to the way that I communicate with people. Again, I've been called a flirt, been told that I'm intense, been told that I'm trying to 'steal' peoples' boy/girl friends simply by being friends with them. APPARENTLY, showing "too much" interest in other peoples' lives and hobbies is flirting. APPARENTLY, getting really excited for people who are excited and doing cool things is flirting. Because (or so I have been told) the emotional energy I expend is too much to just be friends; surely, I have another angle.

Next, in terms of attraction, I experience attraction to beautiful things in nature in the same way that I experience it to people. If I'm being honest, nature makes my heart sing in a way that people usually don't. I can get caught up in the beauty of the world; the vastness of the ocean for literal hours, in the majesty of the mountains, the strength of trees, the way water carves a path through the rocks in glens and waterfalls. The world takes my breath away, it makes me weep just to exist in nature. Apparently, this in not everyone's experience of nature and apparently, many people who want to have sex don't think that trees, or bodies of water, or mountains have as much (or more, in my humble opinion) appeal than humans.

It's come to my attention that even the way that I have experienced heart break from relationships where I was "in love" and having sex is not the way that people typically experience heartbreak. All heart break feels the same to me; grieving leaving a job, grieving the death of a loved one, grieving horrible things that happen to my students, grieving the loss of friendships, and grieving the loss of a relationship feel like the same heart break. (Like some of those things hurt worse than others but the heart break over the loss of a relationship isn't worse.) One of my friends mentioned that I grieve the passing of summer into autumn (I fucking hate the winter) like the loss of a relationship and I wish I could say that she is wrong. I've been told my whole life that I experience my emotions too big and I just can't help but wonder if there is some sort of correlation there, but I digress.

The literal dream for my life is to have someone who wants to get in the car or on a plane and travel with me. Someone who I can make coffee for in the mornings and who wants to cook me dinner at night. Someone who wants to sit on the couch after a long day at work and talk about nothing, or watch a show, or just exist together. Someone who wants to dance with me in the kitchen, and hold my hand while we walk, who wants to smile at me while I ramble about nature. I want someone who wants to hold me when I cry, who wants to listen to me when I'm mad, someone who will remind me to take a break when I'm working too hard. The only thing that I actually want from a partner is just someone to do life with. It's not that I'm opposed to sex, it's just that it literally doesn't matter.

(So many things in past relationships, so many fights, so many of the reasons that I was left, so many things that I JUST DIDN'T UNDERSTAND make sense now. Or at least they're starting to.)

So. In the process of understanding this complete fuckery, of trying to put all of the pieces that haven't quite made sense in my life into order, in the end of July my best friend told me that she's in love with me.

And on the one hand, I'm fucking over the moon, delighted, honored, speechless, crazy-happy. She's literally the best person I have ever known, she's the kindest, sweetest, most loyal, loving, amazing human being to ever exist. She loves me so well, so completely, like all of the things that I said above that are my dream; that is her. We road trip together, and she lets me braid her hair, and we snuggle on the couch and watch movies, and we talk for hours (literally hours, when we road trip we go for 7-10 days at a time and I like do not shut the fuck up for more than like 5 minutes total the entire day and she loves me; loves listening to me talk about whatever is in my brain), and when I'm going on and on about how pretty things are in nature she looks at me like I'm the pretty thing (when I say, 'oh my gosh. that mountain, tree, lake, ocean, etc. is so beautiful.' she literally says 'you're so beautiful' and I am deceased, my heart can't take it, I can't fucking stop smiling- I don't even want to), and she lets me info dump about whatever I'm learning, and she loves my brain and my stupid adhd, and she plays me sappy love songs and sings them to me (and she sings in my car, sings to me even though she doesn't sing in front of people) and and and... she makes me feel like I'm good. She makes me feel like I'm all of the things that other people have said I'm not.

And I am constantly terrified of hurting her.

There are a variety of reasons we're not planning on having sex (partially because it's not really something that I want) that I'm not going to get into but I'm afraid of being what I've been to other people. I'm afraid of her feeling like I'm pushing her buttons because I just always want to be touching her (very platonically) like just having our shoulders bumping while we walk, or putting my head on her shoulder when we're on the couch, or letting our elbows press against one another while we're in the car. BUT what happens in our bodies when we're touching like that is really different. Like I described above, for me any type of touch is really the end goal in and of itself (if I'm braiding her hair, it's safe to assume that that is all I want to be doing. If I'm leaning against her on the couch, that too is what I'm wanting.) But that's not always how her body wants to interpret touch, even if she logically knows that I'm not intentionally teasing (she would never say that she feels like I'm trying to tease her, for the record, it's just the easiest way for me to articulate what it feels like could be happening).

And I love her so much, like so much; I'd do anything for her but it's not the same kind of love that she feels for me. By which I mean that she is just really gay and actively attracted to me emotionally/physically but for me if she started dating someone else, I'd be actually fine with that. If she was dating/having sex with someone I wouldn't be jealous, as long as we still get to be friends. (And maybe her dating would necessarily change the dynamic of our friendship and that would be really hard but that's a different mental exercise.) This isn't the way that she feels.

She is so special and important to me but even the way that we are aware of the other person's presence is different. For me, if I'm in a group of people and she's there, I'm aware of that on some level but it's not at the forefront of my mind. My brain is always sort of 'triaging' the people around me when they're my friends; who's being too quiet? who has been going through a rough patch with work/family, etc? who has an exciting new thing they need someone to squeal about with them? who hasn't been included in the conversation in too long? (see the paragraph above about flirting. haha.) She's there but she often isn't the first person I'm thinking about because I talk to her almost every day, I get to love her every day, and odds are good that we either drove together or will talk on the phone our way home from the event- I see the other people there less, so my brain just prioritizes them since I have less time to love them. (This is actually really good, healthy progress for me in terms of healthy attachment and not forming a codependent relationship. My therapist and I are really proud of the work I'm doing, but I'm digressing again.) For her, though, she always knows exactly where I am. It is work for her to pay attention to other conversations, work to be in a different room. In most situations, I am the person she defaults to thinking about and wanting to be near and she has to actively choose other things if she wants to. (And I don't mean to sound like an absolute asshole, it's not like I ignore her or anything, and I'm delighted for us to be in the same conversations, it's just a different way that we engage with the world.)

I love her so much. And I'm afraid of messing everything up. Of hurting her. Of asking too much of her without asking for anything at all. I try to let her be the one to initiate physical touch (or I ask first) because sometimes it's too hard on her body and that's fair. I feel frustrated with the different ways that we experience love for each other because the way that she loves me feels so good and safe to me and it makes me feel so happy. I'm afraid that the way that I love her doesn't feel as nice for her, that it feels less than, that the way I express my love and devotion isn't as good. I'm afraid that the way she loves me is going to wear her out. She always says she knows I love her just as much as she loves me, it's just different. She says she's okay, she says that the way I love her is good for her and she's happy. But it's hard to believe.

I'm afraid that she'll fall in love with someone else who can love her the way she loves and I won't matter to her anymore (partially because that's been my experience of people who have said they're in love with me). I'm afraid.

Is it even fair to entertain the idea of maybe having a whole life together? (we're already entertaining the ideas, already daydreaming about 'what if we lived together', where we're going on our next road trip, etc. And I'm terrified.) Is it asking her to give up too much? I would spend the rest of my life with her. I'd be good and kind to her, I would love her with so much tenderness. But is it enough? Am I enough with just the things that I have to give? Is it actually possible for someone to love me for just me and not for the ways that I could contort myself to be something I'm not?

I recognize the irony in what I'm asking. I know that that's what all of these hundreds of stories I've written here say, it's what I want to believe. But is it even possible when it's reality?

I don't know. Does anyone have any good advice? Any ace people out there living with a person who's in love with them? Does anyone have something that's lasted?

[katabay]

Omar El Akkad's forward to the Annotated Arabian Nights: Tales from 1001 Nights (trans. Yasmine Seale)

[confinesofmy]

when you orphan your fanfic or nuke your ao3 i just want you to know that it physically hurts me irl

[kajibunny]

Erhmh Hi!!! I just wanted to drop this!! You mentioned it will be your birthday soon but I’m not sure on the exact date..sorry>~<

But!! Here is Kaji and he’s baked you a cake, I hope you like it!

HELLO OMG HI I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DREW THIS FOR ME PLS KIU YOU REALLY PUT THE "HAPPY" in happy birthday bcuz i can't even begin to tell you how overjoyed i am at this wonderful kaji art you've just presented??? your art is so amazing kiu you are so talented <333

(ㅅ´ ˘ `). ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁🎂 oh my that is so sweet!! (literally!! as sweet as the cake that kaji is holding and also as sweet as his lollipop but we won't get into that or this will be as long as a novel HHAHSHWHAHAH)

will defs nomnomnomnom both the cake and kaji on my actual bday on the 22nd ♡ ILYSM THANK YOU !!!!

love always,

✿ mii ✿

[skipblebee]

You will never guess who binge watched Bungo Stray Dogs

[hey-that-hurt]

in exchange for my curated whump fic recommendation lists I require that if any of you see a fic for a fandom I'm in that fits my taste you are required to show me /j but actually please do that please I will be so happy