#if you read this hello btw!! i appreciate that :D

[sentientstump]

modded

you can't escape Taxes, have more Taxes

[leclarifies]

birthday boy

✰ max verstappen x !bestfriend reader ✰

summary: max doesn't like it when it's race week and you're not there. he's been trying to convince you to quit your job and just come to his races full-time, offering to pay for the expenses but you've refused every single time. you end up surprising him in the singapore gp for his surprise birthday party the grid had arranged for him.

wc: 3.5k

a/n: hi there! this is my FIRST ever published fic and i'm super nervous about posting hjawdhbawjhbdbhawd i've had this idea since maxie's birthday in september but kept it in the drafts and re-edited some things around just to make it cohesive. i have requests open and my masterlist is currently an ongoing wip. thank you for reading!

edit: hello, here's my complete masterlist for anyone who wants to view my other work. thank you for 350 notes btw! i really appreciate it <3

a ding rings through your phone and at first, you ignore it. 

it’s usually a work text which is why you’re not more alert. it’s a weekend and you genuinely just want to enjoy yourself while watching the race that your best friend is participating in and starting from pole position. 

then another ding, two more follow after that.

your furrow your brows confused, if it was a work text then they wouldn’t be spamming unless it was an emergency. 

you open your phone and you’ve realized you’ve been added to a group chat. 

lily m: hi guys! i’ve created this gc bc some of the boys wanted to surprise max for his birthday!!!!! so i’ve invited most of the drivers and their wags here in case you guys wanted in as well charles: Yes, hello everyone :) kika: yes! we’re so excited <33 all of the wags and respective drivers should be in this groupchat :D 

seeing this groupchat made you confused, yes you were max’s best friend but you were certainly not a wag and very certain that you weren’t a driver. so, you sent a text.

you: hi guys, i appreciate the gesture but i am not a wag and certainly not a driver HAHA

lily m: oh yeah! alex told me to add you bc we thought that you would want to surprise max  considering you guys are best friends HAHAHAH my bad i should’ve clarified

alexandra: welcome y/n! it’s great to have u here :]

you: no worries guys, but max’s birthday isn’t until almost two weeks from now were you guys planning a big party?

charles: I’m not sure what we want to do but considering it’s Autumn break when it’s his actual birthday, we wanted to start early.

lily z: we *could* plan a big party, but what do u think y/n? u know him best

you: i think a big party could suit him best lots of gin & tonic must i add

carlos: HAHA Of course.

the chats continued to flow in as all of the wags and some of their drivers tried to plan what felt best for max’s birthday party. it was a few hours before the race and you had assumed not all of the drivers had their phones on them which explained the lack of texts coming from them, it wasn’t abnormal. they were usually busy with their last minute content for their social media platforms or doing pre-race interviews.

then your phone rang, it was an incoming call.

“hello?” you spoke softly into the phone after picking up, knowing exactly who called.

“hi,” max breathed out softly, you could hear the hustle and bustle of the paddock in the background. max always made it a habit to call you a few hours before the race start, and it warmed your heart to think that he always thought of you before the races.

you didn’t know when the feelings started, was it his seventeenth birthday where he kissed you before his race? was it the promise that he would always be by your side and support you when you got your first job? was it when he convinced you to move to monaco and helped you move in with your sister? was it the soft glances he would shoot your way when you were at the paddock? or was it the small touches he would give when you guys were watching a movie? you didn’t know. all you knew that he was your best friend and you didn’t want to fuck this friendship up. 

“hey, how are you?” you replied, “the pre-race nerves getting to you maxie?”

“never. how’s it in monaco? how are jimmy and sassy?” max had asked, he had asked you to babysit his cats for you and you accepted. you loved nothing more than to watch over his cats while tending to your work.

“s’good. the cats are well-behaved, and i’m lounging in your sim racing gear about to turn it on and experience the race myself,” you joked, knowing that you were nowhere near the sim racing setup that he had for himself.

“i told you not to touch that,” max warned, you could tell he was walking around just by the sound of him talking and being slightly out of breath, “i miss you being here on the weekends, when are you off work?”

“i’m kidding,” you laughed as you got into a more comfortable position on his couch, “i dunno when i’m scheduled for time off again. i also do not have the money to continue to travel around the world to watch your races, max. i am comfortable with watching your races from monaco.” “how many times do i have to tell you that you can fly with me and stay with me while you’re out?” max reprimanded you for even thinking about the expenses, “you could even quit your job and do nothing and i could still have money leftover.”

you hated when he brought that up, he had always brought up the idea of you quitting your job and him helping you through your family’s struggles. you didn’t want to feel like a leech, you knew that his job was stressful enough, you didn’t want to be a stress on him and affect his job. “i am not a leech–”

“you are not leeching if i’m telling you to quit your job and come accompany me through my race schedule. it’s nice to have a support system around…” max’s voice trailed off, “seeing the other drivers with their girlfriends– friends makes me jealous.”

you were quiet for a bit, you’ve had this conversation one too many times with him before. he had told you to just live life and be with him, to stop thinking about the expenses and just be there for him but something about having your entire life being paid for by an extremely rich dutchman just didn’t sit right with you.

“i told you i’d think about it, plus you can invite all of the friends you want. it doesn’t have to be specifically me,” you sighed, rubbing your temples, “it’s not a nice feeling having to rely on someone 24/7 you know. you should understand how i feel as well.”

“i understand,” max sighed as well through the line, then you could hear him a bit farther away talking to one of the staff walking with him, you were assuming that they were on the way to the motorhome, “anyways, i’m on my way to film some content and i just wanted to see how you’re holding up at home."

you hummed back a response, listening intently to what he had to say, knowing that he would want to talk to you more before having to begrudgingly film content for the red bull racing’s social media platforms, “can you at least promise me that you will give me an answer after autumn break?”

you knew that autumn break was after the race he was at right now, which was in singapore. 

“max…” your voice trailed off, you didn’t know if you could make that decision in less than a month, “look, i said i’d think about it–” “but you’ve been thinking about it for three months, isn’t three months enough to make up your mind?” max cut you off, he hated it when you were stalling even though he knew that deep in your heart you would never come and just live off his expenses.

“we’re not having this conversation now,” you huffed, almost feeling frustrated now from max’s persistence, “how about you focus on the race and we can talk about this when you’re back?” “you always shut me out when it comes to hard decisions,” max replied back with the same attitude, “it’s such a bad habit, it pisses me off and it’s not like i’m asking you for a hard thing–” “just focus on the race. it’s your job. let me focus and enjoy mine, please. we can talk about this later when you’re back and you’ll have your answer then,” you almost begged him, you heard him say his goodbyes before shutting off the line. it was too early in the morning for him to be bargaining with you about your job– it wasn’t even bargaining anymore. he was practically begging you to quit your job to come to races with him full-time.

you didn’t necessarily have a hard job, sometimes you would attend the grand prix because you were working under a marketing firm in monaco and that would enable you to come to the races but it wasn’t all the time. your marketing firm worked closely with formula 1, but they had their main focuses and it didn’t allow you to attend and take time off work all of the time.

you estimated that it would be around 3 pm at singapore, which meant it was 5 hours to go before the main race. 

rubbing on your temples was a habit you had when you got stressed and it made you stressed even thinking about quitting your job. you liked your job and your co-workers and the pay wasn’t bad. 

you had basically promised him that you would give him an answer after he got home in monaco which made you make a decision under pressure. a ding from your phone distracted you from the problem at hand.

lily z: @/you how long would it take you to come to singapore? you: woah so suddenly?

kika: we thought we would just celebrate his birthday after the race, since we all can’t be in monaco at his exact birthday date what do u think y/n?

you: i dunno… okay kinda tmi but max has been bugging me about quitting my job to come and accompany him to the races fulltime but i told him i would give him a decision after the race i don’t think i’m ready to make a decision that quickly

alex: damn… we thought that it would be easier to celebrate in singapore instead of planning the party in monaco

you: it would certainly be easier all around but idk if i can face him so soon

lily m: i mean… is quitting ur job to hang out with us 24/7 rlly a bad idea HAHAH

you: honestly i would love to just hang out with u guys and just make it my job but i don’t wanna make it seem like i’m leeching off of max yk…

carmen: hi! i just caught up w everything but honestly, do what u feel comfortable with doing x if u don’t feel comfortable w cmg to singapore, then we’ll make ourselves available at an agreed date in monaco <3

alexandra: yeah, i agree ^^

lily z: honestly it all comes down to u y/n we all want everyone to b comfortable!

you: i don’t wanna be a nuisance, so i’ll take u guys up on that offer

alexandra: yay! so… book ur flight now..?

carmen: u better be ready bbg  HAHAHAH

rebecca: wait what’s happening i just checked my phone

you stifled a laugh at rebecca’s late response but sighed, you guessed it was now or never. 

you booked the first earliest flight from monaco to singapore, not forgetting about max’s cats and leaving them to your sister who lived together with you a few doors down.

but being on a flight to singapore meant that you had to miss watching the singapore gp altogether, only arriving in singapore at 8 am the next day. 

you yawned and stretched as you got off the airplane, not forgetting to turn your phone back on to see a barrage of texts from max and from the group chat.

maxie <3: P2 Y/n :)  Were u watching? Wish u were here :( 

maxie <3: Hello? Is ur phone off? Why are my texts green?

maxie <3: I’m starting to get worried I texted your sister and she said she had no idea where u are

maxie <3: Can u please answer me, I’m really worried.

you giggled a bit from max’s flood of texts, but you and the girls had discussed that it would be a good idea to surprise him with your arrival in singapore. you told your boss that you were taking paid time off for the week as you knew that you would be traveling with the wags and drivers for the week to celebrate the autumn break.

alexandra and rebecca were the ones to pick you up from the airport, all three of you catching up and gossiping about what happened at the track while you were in the air. 

“honestly, it was crazy to see mclaren finally starting to dominate the track this time of the year. usually we would see ferrari and red bull fighting but i guess they had the better car,” alexandra mumbled as you all sat together in the car.

“i expected max to win, but that’s a bit biased isn’t it?” you laughed, “he complained about the car a couple of times throughout the free practices but i wouldn’t know shit about the car. i’ve never driven one.” “yeah, carlos does it to me all the time and i’m sitting there pretending i know everything about the cars,” rebecca added onto that thought, “like yes babe, i know exactly what you’re talking about because being an f1 wag dictates that you know everything about the car you’re driving.” the three of you laughed.

it wasn’t long before you guys reached the club that you guys planned to have the big surprise party, lily z and m were there with kika and carmen. the boys were keeping max busy for the day.

it wasn’t long before the club was decorated and fit for the surprise party, you had booked out the entire club for the night to celebrate. it was nearing the time that max would arrive with the party of drivers.

“okay, so lando told max that they were celebrating his win again tonight so max shouldn’t be suspicious about what’s going on. considering lando’s quite the party animal,” lily z had told the group as they were sitting around the booth, you nodded and listened along well while guests from the teams were shuffling into the club.

honestly, you were a bit nervous facing max. you didn’t know if you were ready to completely quit your job, but you told yourself that you would talk about it later once the time comes. there wasn’t a point to stress about it now when max was nowhere in sight.

maxie <3: Y/n? Are my texts going through? Where are you?? I’m gonna call your phone flashed to see max was calling you. you picked it up and the first thing you hear was max panicking, “hello? where the hell have you been the past day? why haven’t you returned any of my calls or texts?” “well hello to you too,” you laughed, “i’m sorry about not responding to you, i’ve been busy with work. i’m currently at a work event. congrats on p2 by the way, i couldn’t watch the race because i was at the office.” “don’t ever do that again, you scared the shit out of me,” max breathed out, you could faintly hear the chatter of the drivers behind him.

“what are you doing right now?” you asked, feigning innocence, acting as if you didn’t know exactly where he was and what he was doing right now.

“lando wanted to celebrate his win again tonight so we’re going to a club to party,” max explained, “we’re arriving now, i’ll talk to you again later but you better respond straight away or i’m flying straight home.” “okay, okay. stay safe max,” you clicked the phone off before you signaled everyone to turn off the lights and get into positions to surprise max.

the doors of the club opened to reveal the drivers of the grid.

“why are the lights off–” “surprise!” everyone had shouted as max was front and center, the lights switched on to reveal the birthday balloons and you were there in front of the boys with the wags behind you. his face was priceless, the shock and the realization all hitting him at once. the realization that you were there and you weren’t at a work event but here, in the flesh, in front of him. it made him ecstatic.

you flashed a bright smile to max as he ran and hugged you almost instantly. 

“you’re so sneaky,” max breathed out, you could feel his hot breath next to your ear, making goosebumps rise in its wake, “you made me so worried to only show up here…” you could only laugh and hugged him back tightly, his hug, his touch, it made you feel alive. his touch was electrifying– in a good way. his touches, whether light or full blown hand holding or his arm around your shoulder always lit you up like a lightbulb. 

“i wanted to surprise you– well, everyone did. they thought it would be more convenient for me to come here and surprise you,” you laughed, “so, are you surprised?”

“hell yeah, let’s get this fucking party started!”

“so, about you quitting your job,” max tried to sneak the conversation in as the both of you were walking to his hotel, you couldn’t help but roll your eyes. they just had a really good fucking party and both of you were quite tipsy but sober enough to navigate your way through the streets of singapore (with the help of google maps).

“you’re a very persistent man,” you laughed as you walked alongside max, shoulders brushing against each other. it was almost 4 am, but you didn’t feel unsafe or scared at all. spending the night with max was what you really enjoyed. he made you feel things that you were scared of addressing, so for now you were going  to enjoy the moment.

“seriously, you told me after the race and this is definitely after the race. so tell me, did you decide what you’re going to do?” max grabbed your wrist to stop the both of you from walking, you guys could see the hotel from this distance but he wanted to sincerely talk to you, “are you going to slave your life away, working from paycheck to paycheck and only coming to my races when you have the time? or are you going to agree with me and just ��leech’ off of me?”

you sighed and turned to look at max, you couldn’t lie that the life he offered was enticing. not having to work a day in your life and still coming to these flashy grand prix and partying almost every week was a dream for most people and you were most people. “i dunno max, i told you i would give it a thought but you know how i feel about me living off of your money,” you locked eyes with max’s bright blue ones and he stepped closer to you, landing a hand on your cheek endearingly. the way he looked at you full of unconditional love, you couldn’t tell whether it was romantic or platonic anymore. you knew max and you knew that max would do anything for the people you loved and you were included in that list.

“if you’re thinking about family back at home, you know i can always send over some as well right? i know that’s your biggest concern,” max looked deep into your eyes and you could almost feel like he was looking into your soul, “i know you’re scared of leaving your work behind because you still need to support your family back home and you wanna know something? they’re my family too, i would send them money even if you didn’t ask.” max’s other hand found its way to hold yours, “please… just do this one thing for me. i always see the other drivers with their significant others and it pains me to see that you’re the only one not there and breaking your back to work. i just want you to support me and have fun while doing it…”

“max…”

“i’m serious,” max’s face grew ever so close to your own, you couldn’t tell whether the heat on your cheeks was from the proximity of the both of you or from the lingering alcohol, “you know i’d do anything for you and i don’t do that for a lot of people– you’re not a lot of people.”

“if i say okay, will that make you happy?” “the happiest man in the world.”

“consider this a birthday gift then birthday boy,” you breathed out and as you finished you sentence, you felt his lips on your own.

the kiss was electrifying– he was electrifying. his other hand that was clasping your hand softly was now on your other cheek, deepening the kiss. your hands found their way wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer.

to a rare passerby, the two of you were just a sweet couple sharing a kiss at 4 am and maybe, that’s what you were.

“you don’t know how long i’ve been wanting to do that for.” “ditto.”

[evolnoomym]

Bigger than the whole sky 🌌

Dbf!Joel Miller x f!reader

Pt.2🌠 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: You meet Joel and well of course you fall for each other. It’s a bit bumpy since he’s your Dads best friend. But things seem to work out until they don’t anymore. One event changes everything.

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 5.1k

Warnings: no use of y/n, pov switches that might be confusing, female reader, reader has hair, reader wears makeup, reader can get pale, weight loss, implied childhood abuse, trauma, angst, heavy angst(?), implied smut, alludes to pregnancy, funerals, coffins, reader has no name only a bunch of nicknames, size difference, dbf!Joel Miller, mentions of throwing up, loss of a loved one, grief, depression (?), food and eating issues are mentioned, talks of having a baby, Blood, dark thoughts, intrusive thoughts, age gap, readers age is not exactly mentioned but Joel is 44, talks of getting married….

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: this is for @almostfoxglove ‘s Angst Writing Challenge. Shoutout to her she created the moodboard, it’s sooooo beautiful. 🫶🏻

Shoutout to @thecutestgrotto and @cafekitsune for the dividers 💙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. This is also only my second time posting writing for a specific character. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly. This not beta read btw only by my eyes and they hurt after starring at the screen for so long 🌌🫶🏻

And lastly I’ll leave some songs i listened to while writing <3

loml by Taylor Swift

Black Friday by Tom Odell

This is what the drugs are for by Gracie Abrams

I guess by Mitski

Present by Lloyd Vaan

Je te laisserai des mots by Patrick Watson

Home by Daughter

Allowed to be Happy by Gustavo Santaolalla

Song on the Beach by Arcade Fire, Owen Pallet

aisatsana [102] by Aphex Twin

Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens

Francis Forever by Mitski

A House In Nebraska by Ethel Cain

Medicine by Daughter

Youth by Daughter

I can barely say his name by Patrick Jonsson

listen before I go by Billie Eilish

You remember exactly how you met Joel Miller, it was so simple. He was the one to give your Dad a job at the construction company he led together with his younger brother Tommy. In the beginning you only heard how great of a boss he supposedly was through your Dads stories. 

Joel and him seemed to have grown into real good friends in the span of mere weeks. You always had wondered what the man from his stories was like in person, up close. 

When you had to drive to the construction site to bring your Dad his lunch he had forgotten due to being a bit busy that morning. It seemed like your wishes to meet Joel would become reality. You didn’t think the big boss would spend his precious time with the actual building process but as you'd figure out in the future, Joel is a hands on kinda guy. 

You must’ve looked super out of place and quite lost when he approached you. His Texas drawl still echoed through your head hours later. „Well Hello Darlin, lookin for someone?“ and if that alone didn’t completely blew you away, then certainly his stunning looks. When you turned towards the voice a tall, broad and awfully handsome man looked back at you.

After an awkward beat of silence he stretched his hand out towards you “Apologies sweetheart, should’a start with the name, huh?” Tilting his head slightly “Name’s Joel, Joel Miller.” At that you let your hand slip onto his outstretched one. His hand was so huge, warm and calloused. Shaking his hand kinda calmed you down Joel Miller was absolutely lovely. “Nice to finally meet the famous Joel Miller that my Dad keeps yapping about nonstop.” You giggled while cheekily winking at him. 

That must’ve been a key moment for everything that was to follow. You’d see Joel again and again. Whether due to your Dad inviting the single, 44 year old Man over or due to you having to deliver your Dad’s forgotten food. 

The tension was slowly building higher and higher between you two until one day in Joel’s office you could no longer hold back. 

Joel stood in his office with you by his side, in front of a pinboard containing all sorts of information about his newest project. He was animatedly explaining processes you’d never understand in a million years. You actually kind of tuned him out and just enjoyed being unbelievably close to him. 

Then his face kinda looked confused. Oh no he must’ve asked you a question. Shaking your head you say  “Mhhh sorry, what did you just ask?” Joel tilts his head towards you the way he always does and then states “Ya didn’t listen to a single word I just said, right Sweetcheeks?” 

He always comes up with the most ridiculous nicknames that cause a vicious pull in your lower stomach. You lost count of how many conversations with him ended in drenched panties. 

“I….i -of course I was listening to you, why wouldn’t I?” You stammered a bit offensively, surely he’d see right through you. 

“Hm kay, so what was I talkin bout, gorgeous?” He’s teasing at this point. 

“Ok I wasn’t listening but that is a lot I don’t get anyway so can you really blame me, Miller?” You fired back. 

“So, whatcha thinkin bout inside of that pretty little head of yours, instead of listening to me?” You just scoff at him “Let’s not pretend you don’t know exactly what I was thinking about Joel.” Pointing one accusing finger at his broad chest. At that motion Joel enveloped your wrist in one of his massive hands, pulling you closer that way. Until you were right in front of him, only a tiny space left between your faces. “Why don’t ya tell me whatcha thinkin about Baby?” 

He must know, just by seeing how your eyes keep slipping down to glance at his pillowy lips, what is going through your head. You’ve been dancing around this topic, the tension, the pull towards each other, how forbidden it is for all of this to happen. Joel is your Dads Best friend and he’s twice as old as you are but you know that if you don’t kiss him right now you’ll go insane. It’s all you think about, kissing him and then some more. 

For the first time in years you actually consider letting someone get so close again. Joel would never hurt you like the ones before him did, no, he’s mature and wouldn’t play any of those stupid games. You know how kind, considerate, protective and caring he is for the ones he loves. Sure it won’t be easy to explain any of this to your Dad but you can’t think about that right now, no, you have to kiss Joel, it’s the last thought before leaning up to push your lips against his. 

One chaste kiss that erupted into a full blown make out session that only got interrupted by some frantic knocks at Joel’s Office door. 

From that day on those meetings became a routine, in his office, his truck, his house or sometimes he’d take you out of town for a super secret Date. The thrill of hiding with the possibility of getting caught soon turned into shame for lying to your Dad so much. You wanted to tell him even though it scared you more than anything how he might react. 

Surprisingly though he didn’t completely freak out, of course he was shocked and confused how this combination came to be. More than anything he took the lying personally and made clear that as long as you are happy, so is he. If Joel was the one then so be it, besides your Dad has a lot of respect for Joel and knows you're in good hands. 

After 3 months of being an official couple Joel asked if you’d be happy to move in with him. You had to think about it for a long time, feeling quite guilty about leaving your Dad behind but he reassured you that he would be fine on his own. He told you that a grown woman like you shouldn’t have to live with her boring old man anymore than you already did. 

So you moved into Joel’s house. And what followed were months filled with wonderful memories. Many barbecues were held, your Dad and Joel always standing at the grill together, each nursing on their beer bottles. 

Whenever you wanted to try a new recipe your Dad was invited over so you could make sure he still ate enough, the night always ending with you sending him home with a bunch of Tupperware's filled to the brim with deliciously homemade meals. 

When you wanted to paint the walls in the living room a new shade your Dad came over to help. 

Making sure his baby girl is happy and content was your Dads number one priority. 

Then one day you went over to his house to catch up a little bit, just you two having some Dad and Daughter one on one quality time. 

He was so excited when you told him that Joel and you want to have a baby. 

He told you what a great mother you’d make because of how wonderful you always have been with kids and how much you always wanted to have kids of your own. 

To others it might’ve been weird to share such an information with their Dad but you have such a close bond that it’s not weird at all. 

You were so happy on the drive home cuz you know what great grandpa he’d make. 

It must've been exactly one week later when you woke up with an indescribable feeling in your chest. As if the world spun a little slower, or the air felt more compromising…whatever it was you couldn’t stop feeling like something had happened. 

Your intuition only perked up more when your Dad didn’t show up for the usual Sunday’s breakfast you recently started doing. 

After 8 calls that nobody picked up you told Joel you would drive over there and as if he knew that you would need him for whatever was awaiting you there, he came with you. 

The closer you got to the house the worse you felt. Hands sweaty, heartbeat racing and your stomach felt like turning over at the sight of the house. Usually he would be up by now playing his obnoxiously loud music that you’d hear on the street through the open kitchen window. Instead it was eerily quiet. 

When Joel had parked the car he told you to wait for him but you couldn't. You just ran up the steps, unlocked the door with your spare key and bolted through the house as if on instinct you skipped up the steps to his bedroom. You flung the door open and there he was. Just laying on his designated side with his glasses still on and one hand on his chest across his heart. He looked like he was just sleeping but deep down you knew he was not. You can’t remember a lot, only that you immediately bolted towards the bathroom to empty your stomach out, Joel came up too and tried  comforting you through the heaving. Then he tried to get you away from the scene. Joel took care of everything while you just locked up inside of yourself. No tears, no screams, no words, not a singular reaction just nothing. Joel had never seen you look so…empty. 

Later on the authorities would say it’s just natural cause, he simply passed in his sleep, nothing dramatic. Not the kind of closure you would have wanted. It didn’t matter how “normal” it was, your world stopped spinning entirely. Everyone seemed to go one but you just stopped. 

Suddenly without any foreshadowing everything was completely flipped on its head. You loved him so much, he was your best friend. He told you all the time how much he loved you even with all your struggles. You’d never have to prove your worth to him; he'd love you no matter what. In his eyes you were a gift, opposite to your mother that looked at you as a burden. You never felt loved by her. She took away your precious childhood and forced you to grow up quickly. So you could take care of her. Even when you told her how close to the edge you were she always made everything about herself. Out of your parents the one person that actually wanted you, died and with him so did your willingness to continue with the fight against all your inner demons.

You lost yourself after that. For weeks you just slept, barely moving, only getting up to use the toilet and perhaps eat something small and drink a bit. Joel had to shower you, otherwise you wouldn’t have done it yourself. Who you were before losing your Dad was gone, as if you died with him. 

Joel tried everything in his power to make you feel better. One time he wanted to paint with you since you loved to do that, but the moment your eyes caught sight of the little paint pots you ran for the toilet to empty out your stomach. Later on he realized his mistake, you used to paint with your Dad a lot all the way back in your childhood so of course that would not make you feel better. Then he tried playing music for you either your favorite songs from your playlist or on his guitar. Nothing, you just continued to be completely catatonic. 

Then the funereal came, a day Joel dreaded he was not sure you’d be able to handle it. In the morning he made your hair and applied a bit of makeup, he watched you do your little routine often enough to know what he was doing. Afterwards he dressed you in a simple black dress and equally black flats. Walking only worked since Joel kept you upright. 

Sitting in the front row bench at the chapel you looked like a ghost. Pale and sunken in. You were asked to do a speech about your Dad but that would’ve been impossible. So Joel went up to do it instead. You just stared straight ahead at the coffin, not sparing a glance towards Joel. 

And once everything was over, the people, mostly his colleagues, paid him their respects. When everyone was gone you stayed and just laid your head on the coffin silently sobbing, which was the most emotion Joel had seen in weeks from you. Only he was to witness this vulnerability. 

Staring at the completed grave was just as daunting. His name is written in cold stone. All that’s left is this hole in the earth and a stone on top with his name. 

You walked away without sparring another glance toward the grave.

Then it seemed like you were getting better. You spoke more, ate more and slept less. You even searched out body contact with Joel, though it was just some cuddling and gentle kissing. But he took it as a step in the right direction. 

You almost fully returned to your old self but Joel could have not predicted how wrong he would be. 

He should’ve listened to his gut that told him something was off when you didn’t kiss him goodbye before he left for work that morning. 

You know how hard it will be but there’s no other choice. You have to get away, you have to leave so he can find someone better, someone who deserves a man like Joel Miller, someone less troubled, someone normal. 

Those fears you have now, always were inside of you but with your Dad passing they just all came to the surface. Grief killed you, it took everything, it’s as if you're in a room with a beautiful glowing bulb and some dark entity just rips it away. You're left in the dark and not even Joel’s light can make it better. 

You lost something nothing can replace. 

All your life you feared what would happen if you’d lose someone like this without any way of getting closure, he died without any warning just poof and gone he was. 

Your final goodbye was never said. 

Now you can’t remember how he used to be, you only remember him laying in his bed without moving a damn muscle,dead. You were the one to find him and even though it was not some unsettling scene it’s not leaving your head. You try hard to remember how he spoke that sarcastic tone he usually used. 

You can’t remember his face anymore, not even looking at pictures brings him back and at the same time he’s all you think about as if he’s haunting you. You hate him for leaving you so early. Why him? What kind of curse was laid upon you that everything always seems to fall apart when you think it’s finally working out. 

It’s as if some higher up can sense that you are happy and content with your life and they don’t want to give you that sorta life. 

The moment your brain processed what had happened you fell into the darkness like a big hole that sucked you in without any way out. Anyone around you could be another loss so what do you do? You leave, you disappear so no one gets hurt by whatever is wrong with you. 

Looking at yourself hurts because it’s him you see and it’s him you hear in your head he’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Sometimes you feel like you’re hallucinating because you swear to see him round the corner, you can almost hear him call out but when you try to look there’s nothing. 

Sometimes but much rarer than you’d like to admit you’ve visited the grave, sometimes you speak to no one. Sometimes you scream in agony till you almost lose consciousness from the lack of oxygen. Sometimes you just stare. 

It’s a sick twist of events considering how often he walked on cemeteries with you as a child. You didn’t understand the meaning behind them back then, you only loved to admire the beautiful flower ornaments laying on top of the graves. Your dad always told you how soothing these walks seemed for you. 

One time he took you and you had so much fun admiring the flowers giggling and smiling. Your dad wanted to tell you off since it’s a place where people grieved especially with a woman sitting nearby crying. He went to apologize to her on your behalf but the woman told him not to. She thought it was an uplifting sight to see little you having so much joy about the flowers, that’s a story he always kept telling you again and again. 

All your life those walks soothed your frayed mind. The quiet somber energy is something no other place could compare with. Now it’s the last place you’d wanna be in. The moment you step foot on the property, the panic starts to creep up on you. The closer you get to him the worse it gets. 

Sometimes the voices in your head scream to just start digging into the earth to get him out of that godforsaken coffin. Look at him, do something to bring him back. If the devil would show up to take you instead of your dad you’d do it. He was a troubled man but he tried so hard. He did not deserve any of this, he should’ve been here for all the good times yet to come. 

You imagined him walking you down the aisle, having that stupid first look with him where he’d surely try so hard not to cry but looking at his baby in a wedding dress would’ve been way too much for him to stay strong. You imagined having your first dance with him. 

You imagined how excited he would’ve been to hear that he was going to be a grandpa. In your head you can see him with a little baby that looks just like you. But none of this will ever happen; he's dead. 

Sometimes it’s hard to even look at Joel. He's connected to him as well; he was his boss and one of his closest friends. It’s not fair you know but in your head you see Joel and your dad laughing on the porch about some old men shit like always making their awful dad jokes. Or drinking a beer together or looking to fix something around the house. 

The house, Joel’s house and a place your dad spent a lot of time in. Walking through the hallways is not pleasant anymore, the couch is avoided as best as you can. He used to sit here all the time watching soccer games with Joel. The chair at the dining table he always sat on had to be removed simply seeing it made you sick and eating was already a hefty struggle since he passed. 

He left a mark anywhere and all of it was getting too much. The pressure in your head becomes more and more unbearable. 

Even though you tried to push all those negative festering thoughts away the voices could not be shut up no matter what you tried. 

The worst was when they started to go for Joel, suddenly all you could think of was how he’d die. Joel is only 10 years your dad’s junior. So if he died then why not Joel too. 

So many horrible scenarios played out inside your mind. Car accident, some freak accident on a construction site, getting attacked by multiple people, torturing him slowly, beating him to death, his head all split open, blood everywhere, or what if he gets shot by some crazy Texan who loves guns. There really was not a scenario left to imagine. 

Nightmares in the most cruel ways destroying you slowly from the inside out. And that just proved how one thing can make an avalanche of events happen. He was your purpose for most of your life, you only continued to play this game called life because you could not leave him. And now he left you. 

One time he told you how if it weren’t for you he’d be dead or in jail since there would be no reason to give a damn about his life. He was just like you, living for others instead of for himself. No one understood you like him. Somewhere deep inside you know he wouldn’t want you to blame yourself so much but that singular fact does nothing compared to all the ever suffocating darkness. 

You’d give anything to have him back, feel his warm embrace one more time, hear him say how much he loves you, have him tell you one of his stories, have him tell you it’s going to be alright, take one more look and inhale his signature scent. You have one of his shirts doused in his favorite perfume, it’s what you used to do in all those years you lived far away from him during childhood. Now it does not help like it did back then. What remains of him? Nothing, all of his stuff shoved into a storage unit looked up, buried just like him. 

You know Joel tried hard to be supportive and not push you too hard. Sometimes you wished he would’ve just screamed at you, slapped some sense into you and told you to stop being such a disgraceful mess. That’s what they would’ve done. 

But Joel is not like that,  he helped you so much. Putting himself so far behind. So much so that you feel sorry he has to deal with an ill girlfriend, that’s what you are, a mental wreck. 

He deserves better treatment than the lackluster one you have given him in the last months. He deserves to be free of your weight dragging him down towards the abyss. Even though he told you in the beginning that he loves you with all the baggage and all the challenges, you cannot let him continue to waste his time. 

Besides you’re convinced he’d leave you anyway like everyone before one way or another you end up alone. You have no control of the situation but if you leave then you have the control it still hurts but it’s the only option in your head. 

The decision was made weeks ago, it felt wrong to lie to Joel to keep him thinking everything is fine only to then rip it all away but perhaps it’ll make him hate you so it’s easier. If he hates you then he will be able to move on with his life. Burn all you build together down.

 And then you knew today would be the day. You couldn’t bear to kiss him in the morning; it would only make everything harder. Some time after he left you got up. One last time using the shower you both occasionally used together having foam party’s, giggling, washing each other and then kissing, touching till it leads to you with your cheek squished against the tile and Joel behind you ferociously hitting that special spot inside of you, till you both reach your high. Now you’re alone staring at that specific spot in the tiles, too much so you turn away. 

One last time looking at yourself in the mirror above the sink, the mirror Joel and you both looked into while brushing your teeth. You dry your hair, put on fresh clothes, nothing too dramatic, just some simple black leggings and a black cotton shirt. 

Then you start packing the most important stuff into two big suitcases. Basically only clothes, some hygiene products and a few trinkets that you don’t want to leave behind. The rest can be either sold by Joel or thrown away. You don’t care, the less holding you back the better. 

Once the suitcases are packed you haul them down the stairs towards the front door. And then you just wait. For hours you sit at the dining table just staring ahead at the wall opposite where so many photos of Joel and you hang so many memories and you’ll destroy it. 

You should feel bad but these days you barely feel anything, numb is what you think you feel most of the time. Maybe that’s what your ex meant when he said that you don’t own a heart, that you’re a cold blooded mean person. Someone who plays with people until they stop serving their purpose, that's what he said. 

It’s almost 8pm, Joel should be home soon. You have practically studied the words you’ll say. An Uber already ordered to arrive 15 minutes after he should get home. Not much to talk about the less the easier so you can just walk away. 

Then you hear it, Joel’s truck driving up the driveway and coming to a halt. How he gets out and slams the door shut behind him. His keys jiggling while he searches for the right one. Unlocking the door and closing it behind him. You don’t turn towards him although you know he must be looking at you in astonishment. He can not miss the suitcases and something about the lack of his words tells you he knows exactly what this means. 

Joel cannot believe what he walked into, he knew something was off but just thought that he was starting to imagine things but here you are sitting like an empty shell of yourself and the packed suitcases can only mean one thing, he tries his hardest not to freak out that won’t make anything better. 

He starts walking towards you, slowly, once he reaches the threshold of the living room he speaks up 

“Moon, Darling what’s goin on?” He immediately continues “What’s with those suitcases, huh?” He can’t even hide the nervous quiver in his voice. 

You turn to finally look at him with empty eyes, get up and walk up to him and then “I have to leave.” And with that you move to walk past him but Joel stops you by reaching for you arm, you immediately pull your arm away hissing “Don’t fuckin touch me Joel.” 

He’s stunned by this harsh rejection, his expression full of hurt. Yet he persists by getting close, grabbing your face with both hands, his warm calloused hands that you love- loved so much. He urges “Talk to me baby, what is going on, why would ya need to leave?” Even with everything he tried to be gentle, his voice panicked yet almost just a whisper. 

He can see in your eyes some sadness creeping in when you mutter “Joel..-“ you take one deep inhale “-…this House no longer feels like home.” He can tell even with how hard you try to appear collected that it pains you to say those words. “Wh…what do ya mean? If- if the house is the problem we can just move.” You cut in “No Joel, no i..I don’t love you anymore. Ok? I can’t stay here any longer.” 

It’s a punch right into his gut there’s no way you are serious. “Baby all ya stuff is here you can’t just leave.” He tries to find something to buy him time. “I don’t care Joel just…just throw it away or sell it or I don’t know fuckin burn it. I won’t need it anyway.” He’s so shocked that you use that to continue your path towards the front door and the waiting suitcases. 

On top of one suitcase lies a tote bag containing your phone, a jacket and your wallet sits. You swing it over your shoulder, you can hear that Joel has started crying, his huffed breaths are all you can hear. 

That’s when a car starts honking outside, the Uber is here, you go to open the front door twisting the knob you can hear him walking up behind you with heavy steps. You open the door anyway with him at your back and you move the suitcases out onto the porch. Joel’s trying his hardest to contain his sobbing to a minimum but it’s hard he loves you so much, he thinks about the ring in his wardrobe hidden behind stuff you’d never go for and he thinks about the talks you two had of having a baby. If only he knew 

His heart is breaking watching you walk away from all of it. You turn to him, one last time, he looks shattered, you've never seen Joel like this, you give him a nod as if to give him the ok to touch you one more time if only to give some kind of closure. He moves closer without hesitation and takes your face in his hands once more and leans his forehead against yours. His frantic breathing collides with your face and then “Wh…why Baby just why?” He sobs A simple question and you decide to give him at least something you reach up to put your hands over his to get him to open his eyes. 

“Joel I’m not myself anymore, i-…i feel so all over the place and I’m so scared.” Tears start clouding your sight. “I need to be away from everything. I need to be alone far away to just maybe find some peace. I need to be gone.” And the tears start falling “No matter where I look I can’t stop seeing him and it’s crushing me.” Now you're full on crying. He’s processing what you’re saying and somewhere in his mind he understands that, still he can’t believe this is it. 

“Ok-….if ya need to go at least promise you’ll give some sorta sign ya alright?” He looks desperate “Please Baby….please just a text something anything.” You only nod and then pull out of his grasp, take the suitcases and shakinly make your way to the Uber. Joel can only watch and hope you’ll stick to your words, hope that you’ll find some kind of way back to yourself. 

The Uber driver gets out as you approach and opens the trunk helping to put the suitcases in there. Then you walk to the right door on the back, open it and hesitate for a moment. Joel holds his breath but you continue to slip into the backseat. Closing the door and off the car goes. Joel doesn’t know for how much longer he stood on the porch long after the car was gone. What was there is no more. 

Npt: @almostfoxglove @joelmillerisapunk @aurorawritestoescape @milla-frenchy @joelslegalwhre @thundermartini @studioghibelli @sizzlingcloudmentality @vivian-pascal @strang3lov3 @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @mrsmando @joelsgreys @janaispunk @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell (honestly I’m tagging pretty randomly, sorry) 💙

Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI, thank you 🙏🏻

[kairiscorner]

HIII!! :33 love ur writing sm btw always makes me giggle and kick my feet

could i request a ceo!miguel and a detective!reader who are childhood best friends - even better if hes protective of her although she can clearly handle herself

SORRY IF ITS TOO MUCH this is my first time requesting things on tumblr waaa (* ´Д ｀)

if its okay can i be 🌼 anon?? thank you so much!!

HELLO DEAR, YES OFC YOU CAN BE 🌼 ANON 💖💖 and sure thing :DDD when i read 'detective', my mind immediately went to ranpo edogawa from bsd (totally not gonna give y/n his energy) ANYWAY i hope you like this 🌼 anon (人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

think you can do this on your own? – ceo!miguel o'hara x detective!reader

he stared at you from across the table, looking a little skeptical at you as you noisily slurped at your frappe that he got you, all smiles as you drank it up. he raised an eyebrow at you. "could you drink any louder?" he asked you in a sarcastic, low voice–as if he were a parent about to chide their child for their poor table manners. you looked at miguel with your wide, bright eyes and tilted your head to the side. "i could." you replied, slurping the drink even louder, much to miguel's dismay. he sighed to himself and shut his eyes, rubbing his temples with his hand on his face as his eyebrows came together in a furrow. you were always this cheeky and childish, though the problem was, you both were in your early 30's, and you were a well-known and highly-respected detective in all of nueva york–yet you couldn't even restrain yourself from preventing making a ruckus from how loud you were drinking your sugary concoction. "please." miguel muttered as you chuckled in response.

"please what, miggy? you don't just leave me hanging–i might be a detective, but i can't work with insufficient evidence. do you perhpas want me to drink louder? well, watch this." you quipped as miguel pushed his sunglasses back up on his face and leaned closer towards you slurping even louder as you drank away. "listen, you are a genius detective, alright–" "oh, tell me something i don't know, mig." you said with a giggle as you slurped your frappe again, much to miguel's dismay. he took in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. "you may be a genius, however... you're careless, childish to a fault." he muttered with a sigh as he covered his mouth with his hand, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as he narrowed his gaze at you still slurping at your frappe, gazing back at him with your widened gaze.

you sighed as you rested the cup you were clenching on the table, folded one leg over the other, rested your elbows back on either ends of the backrest of your chair and leaned your head back. "what? it's true, you haven't got as much responsibility and seriousness compared to the cases you've solved." miguel chided you as you groaned. "but, miggy... i get out of those cases scot-free! so what if i'm not as serious or boring as you, at least i've got a brain that can think and a soul that loves fun!" you whined as you lifted you head up and looked at miguel with a pleading face. miguel shook his head as he brought his mug up to his lips, taking in the bitter taste of his black coffee. "i still don't think you should be the one to take on the case, it's too risky." you furrowed your eyebrows as you heard him say that, folding your arms over your chest again. "and how so? i've solved kidnapping and thievery cases that the police were so sure that were going to end up as cold cases—i'm the detective you need, mig." you told him as you unfolded your legs and arms and leaned closer to him, piercing his gaze with your own intense, determined ones as you clasped your hands around his own once you grasped his hand.

"no. besides, this is an internal issue within alchemax, you shouldn't even be informed of what's going on, but because of... you know, the fact that you know how to pry—" "investigate." you corrected him with a look of disappointment in your eyes. miguel nodded and sighed. "...because of the fact you know how to investigate properly, you managed to figure out a whole shipment of rapture was stolen from us in a single night without me having to tell you. and i hope that you figure out that i will be hiring a different private investigator to deal with this for us." "what, why?! i'm only like, your best childhood friend for the past thirty years, i'm literally the only friend you have!" you exclaimed, hurt that miguel didn't trust you to investigate the stolen goods situation for alchemax. "you are not my only friend." "oh, really, then who else've you got?" you asked him with a raised eyebrow.

miguel opened his mouth to speak, but you cut him off. "and don't say it's lyla, because you know for a fact you don't program friends." you quipped as lyla appeared from out of miguel's watch and folded her arms up at you with a little glare. "ugh, rude." she said to you as she stuck her tongue out at you, with miguel closing his mouth and shutting his eyes. "this is getting way off-topic, lemme just cut to the chase—i don't want you anywhere near alchemax until this whole situation blows over. i've... made a few enemies since we last spoke—" "gotta hand it to your wonderful people skills, i really do." you said as you slurped away at your frappe again as miguel's eyebrows crinkled together again. "anyway, there are dangerous people in neuva york right now, they could be in this very coffee shop we're at right now. the last thing i want is for you to be jeopardized... so please, keep a low profile, keep your head down, and stay far away from me." miguel warned you with a stern voice as you stared at him with an unfazed gaze, as if you've been warned by miguel time and time again never to do something, but of course... you'd always end up doing it, just because.

you set your frappe down again and sighed. "you're forgetting that i, hah, actually caught a cat burglar the other night. did i tell you about it?" "um, no?" miguel answered you with a raised eyebrow. you smirked at him and shook your head with that smirk on your face. "tsk, tsk, oh, miggy... i think i found your guy." you said as you pulled out your phone and showed him the selfie you had with the crook you captured. you were smiling and showing a peace sign in the photo while the crook was beaten up and bruised, you giggled as you showed miguel the photo as he stared at it with widened eyes. "you beat this guy up?" he asked you as he zoomed into the screen and you nodded. "you shouldn't be proud you resorted to violence, is this guy even actually—" "the thief? well... why don't you check with lyla right now on the status of your rapture shipments?" you asked him as you slurped again on your frappe as miguel inquired lyla on that very statement.

"oh, would ya look at that." lyla said aloud as she got an email from several of miguel's subordinates that the ravage shipments were returned safely at alchemax, untampered and alright. miguel looked at the emails and back at you in astonishment, or as much as he was going to allow. he cleared his throat and adjusted the sunglasses on his face, bringing the mug of black coffee back to his lips. you smiled devilishly at him and leaned your head into your palm, balancing it while you looked at miguel all cheekily. "you know that's got nothing left in it, right?" you asked him as miguel had only then realized he ran out of coffee.

he cleared his throat and nodded. "i... okay. but you could've told me that you, y'know..." he stammered, feeling ashamed of himself for not trusting you and having faith in your capabilities that made you the person you are today—he was just so concerned about you, worried about what might happen to you if he wasn't there to protect you, but you already deciphered that from how he presented himself and how he spoke around you, it warmed your heart but also annoyed you. you leaned back in your chair and smiled, proud of yourself at finally making miguel eat his words for the umpteenth time. "a 'thank you' would be nice, mig. c'mon, you can say it, i know you wanna." you teased him as miguel sighed and folded his arms over his chest. "...thank you." he whispered under his breath as you leaned closer to him, placing a hand to your ear to hear him better as your smile broadened. "can't hear ya, miggy, again please?" you asked him with a slight giggle as miguel grumbled.

"i said..." he began as he leaned over closer to you, his breath hot against your ear, his lips brushing over your earlobe as he whispered, "thank you, you damned brat." you felt yourself get a little hot in the cheeks after you heard him whisper in that low, raspy voice of his that kind of made you feel a lot more than just cocky. you may have gotten a bit flustered by him, but you still have all the bragging rights in the world that you defied his assumptions and solved his problem for him before he could even ask anybody else for help. "am i your favorite detective now, then, miggy?" "you're my sole headache, you're far from my favorite." he responded flatly as you pouted up at him. "well you're my sole accident prone dorito, there." you quipped as miguel looked at you quizzically. "dorito?" you chuckled. "lyla would get it." you said as lyla appeared and gave you a thumbs up. "you run your mouth a lot, but you're right on one thing at least." the AI assistant said as you smiled wider, with miguel looking ever more confused.

"don't worry, miggy... i'm your problem solver. just make sure to tell me i'm the best, and i'll keep helping you." you said playfully as miguel sighed yet again. "...you are highly unprofessional and brash, but you've got a good brain in that pretty little kid-like, airhead of yours." he said as he got up and put his coat back on, getting ready to head to his office. your face beamed even brighter at miguel's praise. you got up and followed him, you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders and clung your legs around his waist, with miguel instinctively holding you up by holding on to your inner thighs. he grumbled under his breath, telling you this was embarrassing for the two of you.

"it's been so long since you held me! you owe me big time, miggy. now, to the ice cream shop!" you exclaimed as miguel walked out of the coffee shop with you clinging on to his chest, looking stoic and composed as he told you calmly, "you're way too spoiled." "and you love spoiling me with your seven-figure paycheck." you replied with a giggle as miguel's face got all sheepish and frustrated that, once again, you were right.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @luvstarrstruck @melovetitties @arachnoia @ophanimgold @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @simsrandomstuff @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok @fictarian @yuridopted0

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[woobots]

SMALL APPRECIATION POST <3

hi...people...who...probably got this in their notifcations. LISTEN. i'm sorry for the unwanted tags BUT!! this is just a little thing noting my appreciation or WHATEVER else. please ignore if you want! and uh this is gonna be a part one?? i'll do another part in the future i think :)

okay so actually idk how to start this + order means nothing, just who came to mind first :)

@topazwrld hii <3 thank you for being a WONDERFUL moot just to start it off. i LOVE ur characters & ur groups and just everything, they're all so cool and the way u make ur lineups so pretty always has me so surprised. ur so nice, ty for letting me rant to u abt reyes and letting me make connections with ur ocs </3 - in short, really tysm for just being great and everything!!!

@pureun hi :D UR SO COOL. JUST LIKE FYI. UR SO COOL REALLY. the COOLEST. i'm so excited for all your ocs already, i just know all of them are amazing and just !!!!!!!!!! yeah !!!!!!!!!! thank you for being supportive with my ocs & even other peoples oc! it's very reassuring to get little comments & reblogs but i'm SURE yk that !! anyway, idk how to wrap this up but UR AMAZING !!! ty for the playlist too btw <3

@lcmonheads hi :D I LOVE UR OCS SM !!!! everyone in lemonheads are actually my kids, just so you know!! i love those boys </3 and ofc sweetner !!!!!!! and noah !!!!!!!! ur so nice </3 and just everything u do is so cool !!!! I LOVE IT !!!! STAY AMAZING !!! TY FOR BEING A MOOT !!

@cultkive ur ocs :(( are :(( so :(( cool :(( !!!!!!!!!!!! judy is my most beloved ever...i love her more than anything, just the way u write her and just EVERYTHING !!! not only that but ego too!! they're so cool, ik u just put them out but !!!!!!! yeah. and ur very kind too !!! ty for being kind and everything. ur amazing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@glasshcvse YOU'RE SO COOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i mean it. you're one of the coolest people in the whole community. ur ocs and everything are one of a KIND !!!! stupid cupid my beloveds btw...and veronika...i love them. actually, like i really like UHMMM admire you??? i'm not sure how to phrase it but you're a very big inspiration to me within the community!!!!

@enaeura HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hi, i just wanted to say ur very amazing & cool and that. i love your ocs and the way you write everything so much. LIKE EVERYTIME I READ ONE OF NAISU'S LITTLE CHAPTERS MY JAW IS ON THE FLOOR. and cleo too </3 i love her so much, she's so cool and amazing. the way u write her is just GREAT ... but !!!!!!! yeah, you're very cool <3 ur ocs are cool <3 everything abt u is cool <3 stay amazing. OH AND !!!! ateez cleo is my most favorite thing to ever exist. i needed to get that off my chest.

@chcrryade i wasn't sure whether to tag this blog or ur others so...i'll give this one a go, sorry!!!!!!! BUT. i loveeeeeee UR STUFF SOOOO MUCH. cherryade my most beloveds. i love the way you've done everything for them so far, the yt video deep dives??? those are so cool and well written. AND !!!!! kihyun too. he's gotta be one of my top additions. i love him so much. but anyway! ur stuff is so amazing </3 i'm in love with it all. ur so cool, stay cool, stay amazing.

i'm just gonna make a list now of other accounts or people i find so cool or amazing. please forgive me for the tags and i'm sorry i couldn't say anything else, my brain has frozen. BUT I DO LOVE ALL UR ACCS, U GUYS ARE SO COOL AND AMAZING AND I LOOK UP TO AND ADMIRE ALL OF U!!!!!!!

@venusvity ... @v1nylz ... @tab1oid ... @totallystars ... @vhsdolly ... @plasticflwrs ... @dulcebot ... @arcanids ... @99kitsch ... @attuncd ... @ppangs ... @midmourn ... @starbcrnes

I'M SO SORRY FOR ANYONE I DIDN'T MENTION!! + i think the tags cut out after so some of u might not've been tagged but that's tumblrs fault i promise...

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.

So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.

I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.

6x06 Secret and Lies.

Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*

Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...

Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....

Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.

Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.

God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.

Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.

Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.

I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.

Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.

The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.

The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.

Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.

Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.

He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.

This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.

We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....

I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.

I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.

Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...

Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.

Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.

'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'

Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.

Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*

Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.

But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.

Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...

So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.

Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.

Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.

Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.

Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.

Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.

This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.

It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.

I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.

'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.

This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.

When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.

Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.

The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.

That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.

I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.

~~~

Side notes non Chenford.

Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.

Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3

[luffyvace]

Hello. :D

Just found out your blog, absolutely love it, especially the fact that you mostly focus on the fluff, I'm just weak to these kinds of stories. 😂❤️

Is it possible to request more headcanons about Robin with a s/o ? Like... what do you think her type would be ? How would she realize she's in love ? How would she behave before and after their relationship ? Her love language ? (Male reader btw, if you don't mind of course 😊)

OMG!! HIIIII i’m so glad you like my content anon!! :) and yes fluff is the besttt it’s so cute!!

of course you can have robin x male reader :) i don’t mind at all!!

i love robin tysm for your request!!! i’m happy to go more in depth on her loving reader :)

please enjoy!

OKK SOO for her type..!

robin loves a kind person!!

kindness was something she hardly received growing up and the first people to give it to her were the researches and especially Saul!! (the dereshishishi guy if you don’t remember 😭)

seeing a kind person do something straight from their heart makes her smile

it makes her warm and reminds her about the comforting things in life

almost as if your being kind to her too

she doesn’t mind if your intelligent or not so intelligent

she would enjoy being around someone who laughs a lot though

not that she minds if your straight faced

she just likes seeing you laugh

it means your happy :)

and laughter was another thing that helped her through her struggles

robin also appreciates someone who likes quality time

so maybe not a distant partner

robin was also alone for most of the time in her life

if someone comes along in her life who she wants to stay, she would definitely want to spend as much time as possible together

especially since she has a hint of doubt you might leave one day

which is why she also wants someone loyal

for obvious reasons of course, she knows she wasn’t exactly the most loyal in the past

but technically to the straw hats she was

if you think about it

it doesn’t matter much else about whether your weak or strong, happy go lucky, solemn all the time—whatever the case may be!

just for the record if your strong you fight together and have each other’s back

and if your weak/average she does her best to protect you

especially knowing how dangerous world, on the grand line specifically, is

how she would realize?

hmm good question

well, robin is either in a book, in someone else’s business or in her thoughts

and it probably happened during the 1st and 3rd options

you know that moment when your reading and all the sudden you space out and start thinking of random things?

yeah well that happened to her and it was kinda flashback of all the memories you two had in the past

she felt intense joy as she found herself smiling at the thought of you

and then you walked into the room

you locked eyes for a minutes before you asked if she was okay

she nodded slowly before looking away

spawning a hand in the wall for a thumbs up to say she heard you. :)

you left the room. and she knew, she was in love 💗💗

okkk time for how she behaves ♡

before your relationshipppp…!

she softly initiates intimate gestures

putting a hand on your chest when she speaks to you

helping you out with random things

leaning into you while you sit next to each other

not completely

just kinda leaning towards you

she definitely asks to talk and spend time together more often

this all really just her showing she cares and sending hints she likes you

remember that smile she gave zoro when they first met?

yeah you definitely get that a lot :)

after tho

it ramps up a bunch!!

and i mean everything

you spend all your free time together

even if your off doing your own thing she’ll come and watch you with adoration in her eyes

if you like to train/work out she’ll be there in the crows nest or watching you out on the deck

ngl i feel like robin would like to be carried if your strong

she also likes to take naps

so if you take one with her she usually gets up first and admires your face

you guys hold hands in your sleep

💥💖💥💖

SO CUTE

she compliments and praises you for any achievements you make

will feed you sweets or whatever other types of food you like

if you do it back she’ll find it endearing

it becomes y’all thing

her love languages areee….

acts of service

quality time

and tidbits of physical touch

which you could likely guess from me dabbling in this in the headcanons above :)

for acts of service

you can ask her for almost any favor and she”ll do it no matter how weird

shes not delusional but most of your weird habits if you have any become endearing because she loves you

she’s got your back in battles too

quality time?

yes.

she loves to do anything with you

reading, training, eating, sleeping

she just loves you

so she spends lots of time for you

she never takes you for granted

physical touch is hand holding

whether it’s an extra arm or not

head pats and gentle cheek caresses

putting each other’s feet or shoulders together

little things like that<3

i wrote this so fast?! i took me an hour exactly 😭😭

i could honestly sit and write for robin all day it comes natural to me ♥︎

[adhdnursegoat]

Hey I’m getting into reading smut for the riddler, do you have any recs? Writers or specific smut fics i don’t mind I’ll take anything. (Btw I love your writing)

OMG HELLO ANON!

Thank you so much! I'm sooo glad you enjoy my work. I appreciate your support and interaction!

I have several I'd love to tag!

First, here's a link to my ao3 bookmark page which is just chock full of riddler smut!

Second, here is my 'Best Of' list! I actually had so much fun making this and maybe other people will like it too!

? @caesariawritesstuff has written many lovely oneshots but her magnum opus is Cat & Mouse. Highly recommend it if you're looking for something current, punchy, intricate, well-written, well-thought-out, and just a straight joy to follow. Here is also a link to a collection of her oneshots: Conundrums, Queries, and Quandarys

? @finniestoncrane is one of the more prolific providers of some of the dirtiest, toe-curling, mouth watering smutty oneshots and drabbles for the riddler. They write for other characters but mostly him! >:D My particularly favorite piece by them is Appointment

? @capr1pengu1n has several pieces that I greatly enjoy! I am quite biased but their piece Corrupting the young with your uncivil tongue is my favorite. It was a request I made of them :3 also Twist the knife, like it's something to do is a gem!

? @decaying-words has a small, but delicious and, actually, sweet collection of works called Love Letters to the Riddler. They have not posted since earlier this year, and I hope to see more from them soon!

? @circledemptiness is finally on tumblr! After a two year hiatus, they have posted some new work with plans to do more! I do particularly enjoy their portfolio of all riddler. Check out Merciful!

This is not a definitive list, but these are the main ones I would start with!

Happy reading, my sweet lil goat~!

[asoublog]

Shuichi Asou's Opinion on Fanworks?

Hello there! Thank you so much for all the work you do to make information about Shuichi Asou and his works accessible to English speakers. I was wondering if you could help answer a question I had, though feel completely free to ignore me if its too much trouble. Do you know if Shuichi Asou has ever outlined any guidelines for fanart for his works, or otherwise expressed any opinion on fanarts/fanworks?

Hello, thank you for the ask!

Thanks for the kind words! I should post on this blog a bit more while I still have time haha Though I'm happy I still have active readers on here despite my recent inactivity. I appreciate it. I'm always here to answer any questions best to my ability.

But back to the question!

I did a quick search on sensei's twitter to answer this question and I'll try to respond as best as I can! And..

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's fine with fanworks.

I have found a funny tweet he's made in early 2016 which lead to an interaction that might be what we're looking for. I linked it at the end of this post. (translated it to the best of my ability + used Inspect Element to make it easier to read)

(he mentioned the girl being most likely a SaiKai fan btw) Then, someone lightheartedly replied asking if that letter actually made him angry, to which he responded:

I don't think he has ever said anything else on the matter of any guidelines when it comes to fanfics... So he probably just doesn't care lol

For some more, but anecdotal evidence: I've also heard from some veteran japanese Saiki fans that he doesn't mind fanfics. I myself have a big "Makokuu fan" written on my twitter bio which didn't seem to bother sensei when he complimented my artworks lolol

It's not much, but this is all I could find at this time. :D

Hope this helped!

source: https://x.com/shu1aso/status/690320095663394816

[enid-rhees]

helloo how are you doing?

Can i request a angst? Rosita x Reader, where the reader is like in dwight’s position, the double agent thing. And then Negan finds about what the y/n has been doing…

this is like my 3rd? or 4th rosita request 😭

Surprise us with the ending?? 😁 i don’t want my own request to spoil me LMAOO 😭😭😭

hello !! i am doing well :D this is such a good request actually and i’m so sorry if this does not do it justice 😭

warnings: negan, angst, mentions of Abraham, Glenn and Carl’s death. angst but (semi) happy ending

a/n: hope you all enjoy! requests are open! if you’d like to request just read rules in pinned 🫶🏻 !

btw i know these gun types because i play a zombie game called Left 4 Dead 2 nearly everyday 😭

you stuffed your gun into the back of your pants and covered it with your shirt and flannel. your hands tore off the key from your belt loop and you quietly unlocked the gun shelf. you grabbed as many as you could and closed the shelf up again.

stopping in your tracks, you practically stopped breathing to make sure you didn’t hear any footsteps approaching you.

when there was no sound, you slowly walked out of the room and towards the first exit door that was near you. you walked out, and the guard men stood still. they knew what you were doing.

you opened the gate and pulled out your car keys. the trunk popped open and you threw the guns back there. the engine revved as you started the car, and you quickly drove off in hopes to not get Negan’s attention.

the drive was quiet, and slightly unnerving. you knew what you were getting yourself into - helping Rick’s group behind Negan’s back. but if you were being honest, they didn’t deserve what Negan was doing to them.

they had just lost the boy, Rick’s son. you were there when he called Negan over the walkie, announcing that he got bit saving a stranger. 

you knew long ago that Negan shouldn’t have gone this far, but now with this grief that’s on their shoulders, you couldn’t let him dig further into them. it needed to end.

the rusted gate of Alexandria soon came into view and you pulled over the car into a hidden spot. you jumped out and grabbed the guns from the back and made your way to the gate.

in your pocket sat a walkie that wasn’t connected to any of Negan’s. you twisted it on and held it close to your lips. “i’m outside the gate. with guns.”

a few minutes later, the gate started to slide open. Rick, Michonne, and Rosita stood on the other side.

“what did you bring?” Rick asked as you stepped inside, the gate closed up immediately.

“M-16, a tactical shotgun, hunting and sniper rifle, and a pump shotgun. so, that’s five guns. that’s what i could grab without Negan really noticing.” you explained, handing them to the three of them as you named them.

Rick nodded, “this is good, Y/N. thanks.”

you nodded and exhaled deeply, “so, what’s the plan? are we… killing him or what?”

“well, that’s been the plan for a while. you’re good with that?” you laughed and nodded. “i am more than good with that, Rick. i wouldn’t be here giving you our guns if i didn’t want you to kill him.”

“does anyone at the Sanctuary know you’re doing this?” Michonne asked. “the guards know but only because i threatened them. i’m basically Negan’s right-hand man, they’re just as scared of me as they are of him.”

“you’re risking a lot just being here.” Rick pointed out. you nodded, “i know. but i know who’s in the right and who’s in the wrong. and… i just need to get out of there.”

“when this over, you’ll be with us.” Rosita said firmly. you smiled at her, and she smiled back. but yours quickly faded, “i need to go back before he notices. um- those guns are fully loaded. and i believe…” you trailed off as you dig through your pockets. you pulled out a handful of extra shotgun shells.

“these are for the pump.” Michonne held her hands out and you poured them into her hands. “thank you, Y/N. we really appreciate what you’re doing.” Rick said.

“just trying my best. i’ll try to be back tomorrow.” you told them. you looked over at Rosita once more, you debated with yourself for a minute before giving up.

you walked closer to her and put a hand on the back of her head. you leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her head, squeezing your eyes shut while your lips lingered there. “be safe.” you whispered.

after that, you left and went back to your car. the ride back was quiet once more, leaving you alone with your racing thoughts.

sneaking behind Negan’s back was one thing, but having a relationship with someone in the group you’re supposed to hate was another.

you weren’t sure if you could even call it a relationship yet, that forehead kiss was the boldest thing you’ve done so far. you cared deeply for Rosita, and you wanted her to know you meant it.

a sigh left your lips when the Sanctuary came into view. you hated this. you hated Negan, you hated living there, you just wanted everything to be over.

everything seemed normal the next day. you woke up without Negan banging on your door. that was good.

you wiped your eyes and stood up from your creaky bed, slipping on your boots. the gun that sat next to your bed went right back into the same place - stuffed in your jeans and hidden by your shirt.

when you put your hand on your doorknob to open it, 3 loud, obnoxious knocks beat you to it. you sighed, opening the door the face a smiling Negan.

“there you are,” he smiled, wrapping his arm over your shoulder. you tensed, but he was too far up his own ass to notice. “come get breakfast with me, sweetheart.”

you grimaced to yourself at the nickname, that was only reserved for one person to call you that. Rosita.

plates were already set at the table of Negan’s office. you sat down slowly and took a fork into your hand. eggs and bacon sat neatly on your plate.

the fork cut into the egg and you took the bite. “what do you say about paying a little visit to Rick and his people?” Negan asked you, taking a bite of his bacon.

“is there a reason?” you asked. “do we need a reason?” he asked in a defensive tone. you shook your head, “no, Negan.”

“exactly. so therefore, we’re going! eat up and get ready.” he instructed. you looked down at your food, suddenly not having an appetite at all. when you looked back up at Negan, he had an expression you’ve never seen on him before.

you ate the rest of your food and pushed the plate away as you stood up, leaving the room and going back into your room. quietly, you turned the lock on your door.

the walkie sat on your desk, so you grabbed it and walked into the closet next to your bed. sliding down into the corner, you twisted it on.

“Rick!” you whisper-shouted, “it’s Y/N. pick up please.” it took a few moments, but soon static came through the other side. “Y/N? what’s going on?”

“Negan decided he’s coming today. hide those guns and just- prepare yourselves. please. i’ll be there but-“ Negan banged on your bedroom door. “Y/N! hurry the hell up. we’re leaving.”

a shaky breath left your lips, “hide the guns now, Rick. he just called me to come out, we’ll be there soon. and- check up on Rosita for me, please.” you shut the walkie off before he can answer and left your closet.

“coming!” you called out, burying the walkie into your bag and throwing it over your shoulder. you turned the lock and swung the door open.

“were you talking to someone in there?” Negan questioned, tilting his head a bit. your heart dropped down to your ass but you kept up your posture. “no? you’re hearing things, old man.”

you were one of the only people who were allowed to joke with him like that. if it were anyone else, they probably would’ve been dead. so, you took advantage of it this one time.

he cracked a smile and laughed, “fuck you!” you faked a laugh and opened the exit door, heading over to his truck.

his other men got into the cars behind his. you settled into the passenger seat, tapping your fingers on your thighs as you waited for him to get in and start the car.

you kept a sharp look on your face, but on the inside, you were panicking. your heart was racing and your legs felt like jelly.

Negan opened the backseat up first, throwing his bat back there. you hated that thing. you could still see blood stains on them, and memories from that one cold night filled your head.

you remembered their names. Glenn and Abraham. they didn’t deserve what happened to them. Glenn had a wife, a pregnant one at that. she had to watch him die brutally, all because of the man you’re supposed to devote your life to. 

Negan got in the drivers seat and started up the car, driving forward out of the property of the Sanctuary. 

every time you left that place, part of you relaxed a little.

you and Negan didn’t speak the entire drive to Alexandria. there was never anything to talk about outside of his plans for what to do with Rick and his group. that’s all he cared about. besides himself, of course.

Negan drove the familiar route, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel as he drove. as the minutes passed by, you got closer and closer to the gate of Alexandria.

your heart started to beat faster than before, and it genuinely felt like it was going to explode out of your chest. you started to bite your nail out of nervousness.

he put the truck to a stop when you were down the street from the gate. you took a deep breath and undid your seat belt. you hopped out the truck and slammed the door shut, loud enough to let Rick know you were here.

his men exited out of their cars, and then you were all walking towards the gate. it opened without any of you having to say anything. Rick stood there and Negan smiled.

“ah, Rick Grimes. there he is.” while they unwillingly talked to each other, your eyes scanned the small town. amongst the group of people that gathered many feet behind Rick, you spotted Rosita, and she seemed to have spotted you as well. a small breath of relief left your lips.

Negan started to walk, so you followed without knowing what he was going to do next.

“i figured i could just have a little chat about something with you, Rick. that’s what we’re here for after all.” Rick quickly looked at you, but you didn’t know what Negan meant by that at all.

suddenly, Negan pulled his handgun out, and pressed it to your head. you froze. Rick’s eyes widened, and Rosita began to run towards you. Michonne quickly pulled her back.

“Y/N! wanna explain to me why our guns are missing, and why i saw you leave the Sanctuary last night? and for that matter, multiple nights in a row?” Negan questioned, keeping the gun right against you.

your words got caught in your throat, and all you could muster were choked out “i-i-“

“let me get this straight, Y/N!” Negan yelled, “behind my back, you have been helping Rick and his people. is that correct?” your wide eyes stayed stuck on the ground, but then he pulled you by the collar of your shirt to make you look up at him. “is that correct?!” he shouted.

“yes!” you cried out, completely giving into him. he pulled you so your back hit his chest and he wrapped arm tight around yours while his other still held the gun to to your head.

“let her go!” Rosita yelled, still attempting to get out of Michonne’s grip. your eyes squeezed shut as your breathing quickened.

“oh, so not only have you been helping these people, you’re fucking one behind my back as well?” you’ve never heard Negan be fueled with so much anger, this really got to him. he trusted you more than anyone, and you broke his trust instantly.

Negan let out a bittersweet laugh, “since you decided to be like this, i think we all know what you deserve. but i want you to look that girl straight in the eyes as i put this bullet right into your head.”

your eyes opened and looked over at Rosita. she cried in Michonne’s grip. Negan cocked the gun and pressed it further into your head. “ready?”

“no- NO-“ when Rosita screamed out, blood suddenly splattered into your face. the grip Negan had on you loosened. before he could fall to the ground, his lifeless finger still slipped on the trigger.

pounding pain suddenly coursed through your body. you looked down, watching blood pour down your stomach. you held the spot weakly, and you heard Rosita scream out once more before you fell to the ground.

beeping. you heard beeping.

it took strength to do it, but you managed to open your eyes. almost immediately, you squeezed them shut again as you were blinded by a bright light above you.

slowly, you opened them again to adjust them to the light. you tried to sit up, but pain struck you right in the stomach. you gasped out in pain and hovered your hand over the spot that hurt.

then you remembered, you got shot by a dying Negan. is he really dead? were you dead? was this the afterlife? did it even exist?

you felt stuck to whatever you were laying on. you couldn’t move, and it hurt just to breathe.

it was blurry, but a sudden figure appeared in your vision. they stopped, and then ran over to you. “Y/N? can you hear me?”

your eyes looked over at the blurry figure above you, but you still felt stuck. then they grabbed your jaw, and poured ice cold water into your mouth. it was soothing, “where am i?” you rasped out slowly.

“you’re in the doctors office of Alexandria. my name is Denise. you were shot by Negan.” she informed you. “i performed a surgery on you, and you were extremely lucky to survive, Y/N.”

“where is he?”

“Negan is dead. Rick shot him. but his finger slipped as he died, which is how he shot you.” she explained slowly, taking off a bloody bandage from your stomach to replace it with a new one.

“i need… Rosita.” you said, voice weak as ever. “please- i need her. where is she? is she safe?” your voice cracked, and you felt a tear skip from your eye. “she’s okay, Y/N. i’ll call her in right now. stay still.”

Denise grabbed a walkie and went into another room. you couldn’t hear the conversation she was having, but not even 5 minutes passed, and Rosita bursted through the door.

“Ro,” you cried out. she ran to you, gently holding your face into her hands. “i’m here, sweetheart. i’m here.” she whispered, tears filling her eyes as well. she leaned her head on yours as she cried quietly.

“i’m okay.” you whispered. “i’m alive.”

she pulled away, pressing a long kiss to your head. “i’m so sorry, sweetheart. i promise- i’ll protect you with everything i have. i’ll never let you go.” she vowed, pressing another kiss to your cheek.

you put your hand on her head, pulling her head down. you did it until her lips were centimeters away from yours, and then you closed the small distance and pressed your lips to hers for the first time.

[boncottontail]

Hello, i found acas a few days ago and absolutely fell in love with the universe you created, despite keeping up with qsmp since the brazilians arrived i had never read any fics until last month (tbh i was worried about the kind of content id find but thankfully ive had only good experiences so far) and yours is for sure one of my favorites, so id like to thank you for making it available for us and as a sidenote i appreciate you taking the time to rewrite the parts where F was in the first place. I was only aware Thor wasnt Etoiles since the start because i would find his name randomly while reading and assumed you didnt erase it while editing lol despite not knowing how the og text was i have to say i loved Etoiles characterization and you did a great job with the adaptation (btw i saw you plan to rewrite some more due to... recent events, i will gladly wait for it and reread from the start once you do it, im sure however you plan to adapt will turn out good) thank you again \o maybe one day i might draw some fanart for it, we will see :,)

Hi meso!

I’m seriously gonna pull my hair out, I’ve gone through the entire nine chapters five times and icb i still missed a few mentions of F god damn it. (My computer is ass and I write and edit on my phone, so—) Thanks for the heads up, I’m gonna go through all the chaps again haha… *cries*

Thanks for appreciating Thor Etoiles! He’s just a silly guy with the most self deprecating humor :D

And yes, I plan to remove W from the fic completely, which means a major rewrite unfortunately (ElQ will take his place). I love ACAS and I won’t let a few rotten men ruin my story. If I’m going to have to go through 179k words to take him out, then so be it! I’d rather edit the entire story than platform a ped0 and an abuser :b

Thank you so much for reading and loving ACAS 🫶

[zwm985]

★★★★ Hello and Welcome ★★★★

☆ You can call me Riley or any variation of zoo wee mama !!

☆ I mainly started this blog to keep track of my art.

☆ I draw fanart for JJBA and Baki, but I might post some other things here and there :D

☆ I get a bit nervous with online interactions but I promise I see/read everything (y'all are hilarious btw) !! I appreciate all the love <3

I don't draw anything outright inappropriate, just studies or stuff with the intent of being silly. But just in case, if you're underage please leave !!

Obviously if you're transphobic, racist, ableist, sexualize minors, or anything along those lines leave as well.

While you're here, here are some great causes you can donate to !!

☆ CareForGaza is a trustworthy charity providing food packages to Palestinians in need

☆ HelpingSudan is putting money towards emergancy aid for the people of Sudan

☆ The Trevor Project is supporting young members of the LGBTQ+ community 24/7

It's good to educate yourself and provide support if you're able !!

[a-d-nox]

hello ! this is me and my crush' synastry charts-both tropical and sidereal. could you tell me if the attraction i feel is mutual ? yk like who feels it more- the house person or the planet person etc just… everything ajshsjsjs. im curious if smt good might happen betn us and if yes, then if itll last ? oh and im the leo rising one btw. lastly i apologize if im being annoying/ demanding, im rly new 2 this so im just excited as i find this so interesting. thankyou have a gr8 day/ night !

i really would have preferred instead of a topical and a sidereal, a topical and a COMPOSITE. attraction sure we can do that with topical synastry BUT will it last and what is going to happen is more of a composite thing in my opinion. so i would be 100% confident sharing my thoughts where that is concerned. i would also appreciate if we used astro.com and the pdf, so i don't have to count hashes and possibly get the aspects wrong.

this goes for EVERYONE - I DO NOT DO FULL CHART READINGS. i may never offer that given my schedule - i simply can't see it getting better at this point in time. thus since i have never offered nor have i expressed that they are coming soon please (for the love of the asteroid gods and goddesses) STOP asking that i look at everything in a chart - i would never do that for free. that is a lot of time and effort - i haven't even FULLY examined and analyzed MY OWN chart. i take specific questions only - if you are vague, i too am vague in response.

on to what i can answer.

generally speaking house person tends to get the feelings that are added by the planet(s) present.

things that are likely contributing to your attraction to your crush:

their sun opposite your pluto - they may have a personality/ego that you find attractive/sexy.

their moon conjunct your venus - they may have creative/emotional side that intrigues you and inspires you to adore/admire them.

their moon trine your jupiter - they may let you take you take control in the emotional realm of the connection which works best for you.

their mars in your 5h - could indicate him flirting with you or dropping sexual innuendos.

their mars conjunct your pluto - they could be taking initiative in the "relationship," and they make you feel attracted.

things that are likely contributing to their attraction to you:

your mercury in their 8h - could make them feel intimately understood on a deeper level than they have experienced before and that could constantly lead them back to you.

your mars opposite their saturn - might be sexual tension.

your jupiter conjunct their ic - a familiar sense of dominance or divine masculinity.

your sag stellium in their 7h - venus, mars, and pluto all congragate in this person's house. it is sexually charged - they could see you as an ideal sexual partner.

hope this helps!

a.d.

click here for the masterlist

click here for more composite & synastry observations regarding the luminary and planetary

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

© a-d-nox 2023 all rights reserved

[thegamingcatmom]

Hello, I've been reading a lot of your stuff about the Denali sisters and also read your first chapter too (Very good btw) I have to say I love the Denali sisters, Tanya especially but I am conflicted because I feel as if the way people see them is very different from how I imagine them, and hey that is alright because to each their own and in the end we write/read many times to comfort ourselves. Thing is, when are we crossing a line here? I love what you're doing, love their wild side, their more predatory way of seducing reader (who in my mind is their mate, weather we believe in mate stuff or not is a whole diff story but thats my reasoning behind choosing reader) but we're facing stuff ehre like kidnapping, abducting and only the writer knows what more is in store for poor reader, and that in my eyes is not a healthy relationship, is making them (my fav characters in this case) to be hella toxic and shit and though I'm loving all your HC's and loving the chapte, even wanting to read more to see where it leads as I said I can't help but feel sad because falling in love is one thing but this is just pure idk, instinct? I ask myself like as reader would I really fall in love with this kind of people who induced the trauma of sorts, like ofc I know this is fiction ands tuff but yk I think way too much over things that I shouldn't. Idk if that made any sense because it's hard to put into words what I mean and I suck at explaining stuff, a clsoed book would be easier to read than me lol. I understand vampires are intense,a re possessive and jealous but to what extent? ANYWAY i'm sorry for this long ass ask and I hope it doesn't bother you the things I said? if it did I'm really sorry I didn't ask any of this with ill intention, I'm honestly curious. Have a good day <3

Hello there!

First of all: Thanks a lot for your very honest opinion on this and that you felt comfortable enough to reach out to me. Critisism is important and always very much appreciated. 🫶

I also wanna thank you for complimenting the stuff I´ve done so far, I´m really happy you like it! <3

I agree with you that ppl view them differently, and that´s absolutely alright. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and, sometimes, that opinion vastly differs from ours or how we´ve come to understand someone else´s view on them. Which, again, that´s absolutely alright.

Now to the story I´m writing:

You correctly stated that it´s not a healthy relationship, at all. (Not at its current stage, at least.) However, this was entirely my intention when I started writing it. I want the sisters to come across as these feral, instinct-driven beings who more or less turn a blind eye to MC´s struggles (at first). That´s the great thing about fanfiction: You´re not bound/limited to canon. You can go absolutely wild and try out things and storylines you´ve always wanted to see playing out. This is me going absolutely wild.

Does that mean I see the Denali sisters solely as masochistic, sadistic beings who only have their own interests at heart? Absolutely not. (Something that becomes more clear as we progress further with the story.) This is merely a different take on them. I still very much see them as your loving girlfriends/mates/wives who´d do absolutely anything for you...in an alternate universe. (At least with how things currently stand.) 😅

I´ve always been drawn to darker topics that really question the morality of it all. I´m aware that this is not for everyone, and that´s totally fine. But that´s what tags and warnings are for. If you feel like this story isn´t for you, then I kindly ask you to skip this one. I´d be very sad to lose you as a reader, but I´d absolutely understand your reasoning for it. ❤️

"I ask myself like as reader would I really fall in love with this kind of people who induced the trauma"

You hit the nail right on its head here, actually. This is exactly what I had in mind right from the start when it comes to MC. Reader will NOT be this naive, foolish girl easily brainwashed into doing the sisters´ biddings. I myself don´t find such a storyline appealing either. I love MCs who fight back, who come out on top despite everything they´ve been put through. Reader won´t fall in love with any of them for a long, long, long time. Which also means there won´t be anything physical going on, aside from Tanya´s pesky advances, lol.

Speaking of: No matter how persistent any of the sisters get, there won´t be any non-con stuff. Not in a way that causes MC harm *points to Tanya´s unwanted advances*. This is a line I don´t wanna cross. Any advances towards MC will be written in a way that (hopefully) comes across as both spicy AND hilarious. Something like Tanya getting a book thrown in her face for trying to steal a kiss, lmao. (Which is very likely to happen btw. MC is a lil spitfire.)

So, what I’m really asking is for you to have a bit of faith in me and my writing, and to wait for the next chapter, where the sisters will officially be introduced, before you give up on this story. It will get feral and instinct-driven at times, yes. But there´s more to it and to the sisters.

Next chapter might just give an insight into that already. ;3

To sum it up: This story will be less about falling in love and more about becoming a better/the best version of yourself.

This is what we´re aiming for:

Fingers crossed we gonna make it there! 🤞🤞🤞

Thanks again for your very elaborate and valid ask. ❤️

[sxnii]

Hello I think your matchups are so cute and would be honored if you could do one for me!! I would like a matchup please! Post timeskip, haikyuu and long!!

Name: Averie

Zodiac: Cancer 🦀

MBTI: INFJ, the advocate

Likes: reading, video games, legos, cute stationary, Taylor Swift, Barbie, pink, glitter, tea, dogs, tan lines, the beach, strawberries, anything strawberry flavored

Dislikes: black licorice, super spicy food, horror movies, thunder storms (beyond terrified of them), cold/winter (I’m always cold), grape flavored anything

Hobbies: reading (I mostly read romance novels and mystery books)

Video games (I’ve been into animal crossing, stardew valley and legend of Zelda)

Legos

Swimming

Skin care/nails/journal/yoga (all stuff I sweep under self care)

Ideal traits: love languages:

Giving: words of affirmation and acts of service

Receiving: words of affirmation and quality time

Personality: someone who is sweet, and thoughtful, but not afraid to break me out of my shell sometimes. They would need to be patient with me because I am the type to overthink. I can be a ball of anxiety sometimes so someone who is patient and understanding with that would be great! Someone who’s funny and isn’t afraid to be silly sometimes, but also knows when to be serious. I would also love someone who’s also a hopeless romantic, but tends to keep the romantic gestures more private, I’m not big on pda due to worrying about making others uncomfortable, most I’ll do is a kiss on the cheek or holding hands.

Height: I don’t mind!! I love a short king, and I also love tall guys too, as long as they love me I’m cool with it yknow??

Other: also I love when people are like wow the way he just looks at you, that’s how you know he loves you. I want a guy that looks at me like I hung the moon. A soulmate if you will LOL

Personality: I have been told when you first meet me I come across either super nice or really disinterested. I have the worlds worst rbf and the most deadpan voice, but most times I’m trying very hard to come across nice! Once you get to know me I think I am very sweet and thoughtful, I try to remember little things about all my friends like favorite candies and snacks for gifts. I also am going to school to be an elementary school teacher, and currently work at a daycare! Due to working with kids, I like to think I’m pretty patient and don’t get angry very easily. Though I tend to thrive on routines and lists, and love cleaning and keeping myself extremely organized. I also am a very hard worker, despite working full time I still manage to maintain all As in grad school, and have and still would work myself to the point past burnout if someone does not make me take a break. I am caring, kind and empathetic, and try my best to stay positive in all situations!

Preference: male please!

I appreciate you if you’re able to do this!! Matchups are my favorite thing ever, I think the people who do them are so talented frfr 😚🙏

omg when i read what your future occupation was gonna be one i just knew who it i am actually geeking over it rn😭🙏 BUT I GOTCHU!!

Your matchup is: Sugawara Koushi!!

Bro like its actually so perfect i cant rn😭 No cause i legit searched on google the compatibility of cancers and geminis(suga is a gemini btw) and it said geminis bring cancers out of their shells!! its a match made in heaven i cant😭

Suga is also an infj and two infjs in a relationship w each other will make an insightful relationship which is stable. since you both are infjs you will be able to understand each other on an emotional level!!

and when i read that you were going to school to be an elem teacher i was like “its perfect how.” cause suga is also an elem teacher😭

i can imagine that would be how the two of you met and i think its really cute!! because like he would be nice and easy to approach and you guys would just compliment eachother so well i cant anymore🙏

imagine playing stardew w suga😋 thats actually so cute

sugas love languages are definately words of affirmation and quality time because i think he would love to spend his weekend afternoons alone at his house with his partner just spending time together!!

since suga is on the more caring type i think he would also know how to make you take breaks from overworking yourself!!

And since he is an infj he would know that you are trying your best to seem nice and as smn who is also like that(pls send me a suga irl i need it) its really refreshing to have smn who understands that you are not trying to be rude or look rude its just that you cant help it!!

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Thats all i hope you enjoyed ur matchup!!

pics of suga btw!! (hes so cute😭🙏)