#if you read my tags wow that's some dedication right there hello

[rou-en]

lmfao the fuck are you on, a tesla is still very much a symbol of being rich as fuck. shut up and listen to actual poor people for a minute and maybe you'll gain some critical thinking skills. or maybe you'll just go back to being a bootlicker. who knows?

Oh wow another first - anon hate!

Also welcome, it’s very weird to be interacting with people on this hell site after so long, but hello!! To me this is all very hilarious to come about from just venting in tags about Watcher drama but I guess that’s this place for you eh?

I could just have not swiped and answered this one, and tbh I hesitated a bit on the first anon as well, but it does feel exhilarating to be speaking to the void and getting a voice back (any voice in fact!)

But first to this second anon (coz I’d guess from the tone that you’re not the first), I hope you’re doing alright in the real world - that as frustrated and angry as you might be about my take on Teslas (very much a shitty car), you are alright and safe,

Since I seem to have a captive audience (of at least two that I can tell of so far, how novel!), I guess let me soliloquy about thoughts on wealth and the complex nature sometimes of the whole “poor vs rich” dynamic, which is also a bit of why I even waded a little into responding to you amidst watcher drama,

Second anon, I recommend dl;dr (don’t like don’t read) -

I come from a generation where that’s what we did for things we didn’t like. For all I’ve said you’re a captive audience, you’re actually not (again, this is all very funny to me right now I can’t believe this is over ghoul boi drama still jfc) - one person’s opinion will always be just that, an opinion.

I think anon, we might be in different areas of the world, but at least where I live (please check prev tags on the post you were referring to, I’m also too internet-old not to hide in tags as much as I like) it’s become an increasingly common sight to see even soccer moms drive a Tesla, their bloody SUV model is the bane of my existence,

Does that mean everyone can afford them? No. Does it mean a middle-class family could afford them? If they wanted it enough, yes. Does it mean there still aren’t people suffering here from poverty in my part of the world? Sadly, no.

And therein lies an interesting problem (well at least to me as a former economics student) about signalling and truly knowing where in the whole class wars business you’re on, because it does make a difference if you ever have to figure out which rich to eat,

Is the 1% who get to fly on private chartered space flights and book out the whole of Disneyland for themselves (I’m looking at a shitty Amazon CEO there) the first to the guillotine? Oh yes.

But what about everyone else? Are we going to burn everyone who has multiple iPhones? God forbid anyone ever treats themselves to a seven-course degustation? Would not recommend, but I don’t think it guillotine-perfect, and I don’t think everyone that drives a Tesla where I am in the world can begin to count as that,

Those people live a daily life here, second anon, it’s so middle-class here it’s almost funny and why saying to me “Steven owns a Tesla” makes me shrug and go “would not recommend but you do you”,

I understand that can be different to you, because oh, turns out my own thoughts and circumstances can be very different to yours indeed.

Fun fact, I grew up first in a developing country, and had the privilege to move to a “first-world” country because my family was dedicated and sacrificed to make sure I could live the “better life” so to speak,

So I know there’s an inequality in the world when an exchange rate could mean the difference between something being a “rich” vs “normal” thing - I buy a Switch here for about 450 bucks (I saved and then got it on sale) as an achievable treat; for my sister who still lives in my home country, it’s almost two grand and definitely ridiculous to spend on for any normal family,

On one level, where is the fairness in that? But I live with it, and I have to choose some treats or if not what’s the point in life,

What does this all mean in the face of the original ghoul boys/watcher drama that’s occurring now? If anyone has read this for long enough is probably wondering at this point,

(I hope you’re both with me still my two anons, I’ll cherish this even if nothing else ever happens to me on this hell site)

I guess I wanted to try and say: life is complicated, and everyone makes complicated decisions, even your favourite comfort YouTubers,

It means I can only see the exacting vitriol at Steven for liking nice things but not Shane for also liking nice things and wonder whether people are barking up the wrong trees, very racist trees in fact,

It means that I keep thinking of shitposts about when the time comes, we’d likely just start offing our neighbours for being “rich” then anyone actually rich, because we seem to not understand the difference between nice things and things no nice person should have (holding also the complicated element of environment and geopolitics to account),

In the process of writing my first response to anon #1, I did have a moment where I wondered, “what if the Watcher boys did think about this? What if they did have some level of number crunching and still looked into their souls and decided that it wasn’t what they wanted? That they knew they could keep doing what they’re doing now and be financially stable, or risk it because of what they believe?”

I and you or anyone can wonder, can or cannot understand, but I sure as hell wish the Watcher team the best of luck, and like you anon, their days will be safe, content and filled with nice things, because why else would I want anything else for anyone,

That’s my one opinion at least, take that as you will anon on the bootlicking quotient for that - if being someone that would just like us all to take a chill pill is being one, then meh - you’re welcome to your opinion too,

But thanks to anyone that’s somehow come to my Tedtalk that started with my random thoughts on Watcher drama and ended with me finding people are still around (it’s not just all bots huzzah!)

[woozi]

Um this might be annoying but your descriptions on that mutuals as svt members was so wholesome! So I thought if you could name your mutuals and say what you like abt them? Your favorite thing about them kinda? Idk I thought it was cute but you don't have to do it if you don't want to ! 💚💚💚

i went through my following list and i think these are all of my carat mutuals/friends <3 i only included those who i'm mutuals with here on this blog, but with that in mind i hope i included the right people/and all of you! if not, i may have gotten confused with your main and sideblogs. :/ i divided this into 4 sections (because that's how i think of them in my head, lol). so, without further ado, here they are in the order of my following list (from the most recent):

caratblr

@leechaerok (mirelle) - mi!! i love how you are always striving to be positive and that this is something you share and extend to other people! you literally remind me of sunshine and i hope that only good things are coming ur way. ily!!

@ohoshi (cora) - cora my naughty (IN A PLAYFUL WAY) friend <3 cora's really fun to talk to and she keeps you on your toes. idk why i didn't follow her earlier (i didnt know i wasn't following her jsdjkdsjsdk). extremely talented!! also love the upbeat vibe.

@soonyoungs (cara) - same with cora, i've been seeing cara around but never got to interact with her until recently! i love how versatile cara is and how she always always always appreciates even the little things. 10/10 would let her visit my home again <3

@wrongnanab (aya) - i get mom/older sister friend vibes from aya and i think it suits her a lot. she’s also not afraid of reaching out and i love that sm about her!! i relate to her a lot and i love how she’s always there.

@junhaoshua (e) - something interesting always comes up every time i speak to e! i also love her initiative and how well she manages her time. she’s really passionate about the things she likes and i love how she can get people to be interested in them too!

@choibeomgyus (kale) - kale has excellent taste! i love her aes so much. <3 her work is particularly right up my alley and i just love how clean looking they are. kale’s also such a sweet friend, and she’s not shy about showing affection. i love her sm!!

@dokyom (izy) - izy’s one of the first carats i first followed when i got into caratblr and i’m so glad to have made that decision! her work always wows me and although we haven’t talked much, she’s one of the people i always look out for in here.

@seohoshi (nele) - nele, my mutual at heart. <3 the way we became mutuals is so funny and memorable to me, and i can’t say that about most people! i really like the way nele presents herself as well. she can have fun while still being collected, which i find really interesting. i think she’s someone who brings stability, but i can’t really explain why i get that from her. <3

@art-hao (carrie) - goddess on earth. so elegant. a literal virgo. i love how carrie doesn’t want to be too invested in one single thing. that being said, she’s multitalented, yet is skilled in each of the fields she’s venturing in. she also speaks what’s on her mind, and i admire that a lot. what can’t this woman do :/  

@svtreasure (kate) - kate is one of the first people i got to talk to here on caratblr! and although she’s not on here that much, i always look forward to seeing her. i feel like i have to protect her like a younger sibling <3

@uriboogyu (lee) - lee definitely has feisty younger sibling vibes which i think is so cute! like carrie and e, she’s not afraid of saying what’s on her mind. lee is also such a go-getter! the future is very bright for this one <3

@smallkore (kore) - i remember first talking to kore after she tagged all 3 of my active blogs in one post, and i thought it was kind of funny <3 kore is super talented and entertaining! i also think she’s super interesting, and i love her strange picture collection. <3

@rq-s (katrina) - katrina is also one of the first few people who i interacted with here on caratblr! she is so supportive and always has a nice word for everyone. even though she isn’t here much, i always like seeing her around <3

@boosbin (isa) - iconic. legend. will kick your ass. my beloved <3 isa is SUPER talented and she never fails to amaze me. she’s also very relatable and is super fun to talk to! idk i’m just really fond of isa lol

@dk-s (zay) - i love zay’s sense of style and her overall aesthetic! she also is really smart and gets really invested in her interests. i love her dedication and initiative!

@scoupsy (dreamy) - dreamy and i haven’t really talked much aside from interactions here and there, but she’s someone i really admire. i love how she doesn’t take anyone’s shit and knows what she wants. she’s really skilled in her areas of interest and takes pride in her excellent work. love that about her!! 

@julyprince (madison) - i was really shocked when madison followed me back because i love her work so much! i love how she is so consistent and dedicated (honestly, the constant 9 sets say it all <3). she’s intimidating at first, but she is actually so nice and likes reaching out!

@xuseokgyu (belle) - one of my treasured moots. belle is literally the seok to my soon. <3 she doesn’t know it, but i was kind of shy during my earlier days in caratblr, and she encouraged me to be myself just because she was always reaching out to me. i see belle as someone who really nurtures and is just a reliable older sister for me!

@haniehae (anna) - also one of my favorites <3 anna doesn’t really need too much words but u can always feel the love from her by her little tags here and there. she’s also super supportive and very appreciative of the little things! anna is such a cute person to have around. i lalso love how much work she puts into caratblr. also an amazing dancer oh my god???????

@jaemtens (kevin) - like dreamy, kevin and i haven’t really talked much, but i always love seeing him on the dash! one of the people i admire. it absolutely blows my mind how he has a phd (about to have one? :D) and that he’s still somehow able to make gifs (BEAUTIFULLY!) consistently. love that dedication, wish that were me!!

@tearsofsyrup (vi) - vi thinking of me and tagging me on cute stuff really just makes me feel so :’>. i love how easygoing vi is and i just feel light whenever we interact!!

@soonhoonsol (chey) - everyone’s bestie!! chey literally is the go-to person on caratblr. idk how she manages to do it but she’s always so nice to everyone and really does go out of her way to make everyone feel comfortable! chey has a special place in my heart, and my stay in caratblr wouldn’t be the same without her. <3

@iiasha (emily) - you all don’t understand how much i LOVE emily. i can’t even explain why i love her i just do. she’s also one of the first people i followed when i came on caratblr and i’m so glad to have met her here on our own personal hellsite. emily’s the perfect balance of smart, cool, and funny (this sentence sounds lame as fuck but idk how else to put it)! i appreciate how much she likes her job and that’s something i hope to also imitate! i’ve said it before but i also really love how generous she is. emily also made my stay here on caratblr very enjoyable and i always love reading her text posts <3 i think tumblr junation would nearly die without her so go thank her rn. (she also spotted me turning full dinonara without me even noticing that i am one so. <3 /mwah/)

@coupsnim (izzie) - izzie gives me calm artsy vibes.  her work is always stunning omg. queen of red lips (and i think it’s so fitting bc it suits cheol the best imo???). ALSO love how much she loves cheol!! izzie’s just a sweetheart. <3 would also support ur 0 note posts, lol.

@kyeomshine (lyns) - lyns coloring queen <3 i looove how clean and cohesive her work always is! she’s also one of the people who encouraged me to stay here on caratblr (although she doesn’t know it!!). and though we don’t see lyns as much nowadays, i still think of her as the resident dk fan <3 one of the memorable people for me.

@heartgyus (rhys) - my sister (dISGUSTANG!!). my enemy. THE mutual to have homoerotic subtext with. rhys is actually my closest friend on caratblr. she’s multitalented, almost all-knowing, and has prettie vibes. i’m not elaborating anymore from here on out because i just know she’s gonna be a little devil about it on the dms. 🙄

@hanwooz (kellie & christine) - one of my absolute favorite blogs! i think of them as one of the constants of caratblr. i absolutely love their posts sm and just enjoy when they’re around!! (and how do ur gifs always look good omg tell me ur secrets pls <3)

@7ww​ (yasmin) - one of my favorite (if not my favorite) gfx maker!! i love how you can immediately tell something is from her because of their trademark look. we haven’t talked yet, but she’s one of my favorite carats!

@mngys​ (sofi) - coolest person in the world. idk why we’re even mutuals i don’t deserve this <3 sofi always has the coolest ideas and i look up to her sm!! i’ve also seen her from the birdie community before i got into caratblr so i’ve been following her for quite some time now, but we became mutuals here!

aes carats

@vixenjun​ (kaya) - another one of my beloveds <3 i always say kaya is funnie and sexie but she really is, and those are always the first words i think of when i’m reminded of her. one of my absolute favorites. a bestie that's close to my heart. <3

@tiddie​ (deniz) - i don’t see deniz posting much about svt anymore, but deniz is one of my first carat moots (i followed aes carats first). this one really witnessed my jeonghan downfall. :/ so funny. is a great friend!!

@bwaldorf (ramasha) - A SWEETHEART!! ramasha and i don’t talk much anymore but when i think of her i only am reminded of good things. i rmb how much she supported my weird posts back then <3 also iconic aes hello???? 

@vernons (oona) - oona and i are literally just vibing here <3 i actually met her from the aes side of tumblr before i got into caratblr (like deniz) and discovered that she’s also a carat! i really like oona’s presence and i just feel like she’s someone i want to protect. <3 also makes amazing pastries. she’s also so pretty!!!!! (i really like ur hair sm i think i’ve said this before lol) a cute friend. would send u things saying ‘this reminded me of u’, and i’d get heart attacks from it jsdjdjksd

@oldbooks (fawn) - my frog friend. i think it’s so cute that fawn shares this agenda with hao <3 also unexpectedly tags you on things and leaves cute little notes/tags that makes me want to :’). sophisticated taste!! also really friendly. ily!!

@scoups (hani) - hani is so friendly and takes really good care of her friends!! i was intimidated of her at first, but learnt that she’s an absolute sweetheart. i love how she’s also giving us sm svt content when she’s around! hani’s a supportive friend that you’ll always find yourself looking for. 

@snwo (joy) - refined taste. funny text post advocate. i love joy’s vibe sm!! i first got to know her when she had a hao url and i was super intimidated of her. now she’s one of my absolute besties! aside from her impeccable taste, she’s also such a great friend. this one always has ur back. ily ms joy <3

@sataemism (sof) - sof literally the funniest person in the world!! i’m always happy to see her and she brings me so much joy. very lowkey chaotic vibe (the taemin and hoshi urls speak a lot abt this lol), and just a very fun person overall!!

birdie carats

@flowerbeom (kat) - kat, like the rest of those in this category, is someone i’ve been following for a while now as i came back to tumblr because of got7. kat and i haven’t really talked much but always interact with rb/s and likes and i love that JSDJSDKJDSJ that being said kat’s tags are always so enjoyable to read. + it’s so funny as well that when we actually got to talking we didn’t realize we had a lot in common! a very generous friend. gave me a yugyeom pc even though i’m literally from another continent. 😭

@tuanzie (joanna) - content queen. i looove how joanna’s work has a trademark look to them! they’re always so gorgeous and smooth-looking. i love how joanna’s able to speak her mind and would not take shit from people. i see her as someone brave, but not too out there! also someone you can rely on to put reposters on hit lists mwah<3

@gotseventeens (belle) - my name twin <3 belle is actually one of the people/reasons why i got into svt and i’m eternally grateful to her for that!! we’ve been talking since i first became a birdie but somehow we both have 0 recollections of our conversations JSDJDKSJKSDJ tumblr wouldn’t be as fun for me if belle weren’t around ngl. i love how she seems to be mature yet you’re also up for a wild ride with her!! she’s my own personal wonu <3

@secndlife (karoline) - i’ve also been following karoline since i was a birdie, but we only became mutuals here! i love her writing so much and i enjoy seeing her lose her mind over hoshi (mood <3)

@defgyus (val) - i often associate belle with val and i think they have a lot of similarities!! val also gives me the mature yet fun vibe. i think val’s so successful and i admire her a lot!! i love her work sm and just love how she interacts with people. very warm and homey!!

more carat moots i haven't really talked to but enjoy seeing on the dash

@emailclub (emily), @kyeomblr (maddie), @joshuahong (bea), @delicatecy (deli), @mintyseoks, @syuperseventeen (nat), @haol (mali), @svtclub (hannah), @cutiejoshi (siri), @chanswu (mandy), @jeonghannie (myrena), @squishy-woozi (kris), @wonwooo (hiba), @rameniji (rain), @cafevernon (ish), @hoshluv, @minghyu (nicole), @mingyiu (katya), @yeol (tat), @dearkyeom (kristy), @seokgyus (kai), @bbaksu (akemi), @1adyluck (sushi), @shineesbag (gen)

[galli-writes]

(Click here to read on Ao3!)

fandom: Teen Titans

pairing: BBRae

genre/warnings: AU - Canon Divergence; Implied/Referenced Abuse, Abusive Parents, Childhood Trauma, Graphic Depictions of Violence

additional tags: Angst, Family Issues, Friendship/Love, Protectiveness, Slow Burn, Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions

summary:

There are a few things that Beast Boy knows for certain:

He’s 21….and a total lightweight. He’s a vegan (but not like…a pretentious vegan). He’s not going to be single forever.

And the Teen Titans are the only family he’ll ever need.

a/n: Hello everyone! I am finally back--though in a way I guess I never really left. I've been working on this fic on an off since I last posted, but things have been so busy that it's been rather slow going. I'm going to try REALLY hard to keep to a more consistent schedule going forward. The fic is entirely written, but needs some pretty heavy editing. I'm going to shoot for an upload every other Friday from here on out. Thank you all so much for being patient!

Chapter 5: A Helping Hand (words 6,264)

It wasn’t often that Beast Boy played hooky. At least, not when he thought there was a good chance Robin would catch him. Skipping practice was a serious no-go, outside of a few exceptions. Beast Boy knew he wasn’t a good enough actor to feign sickness. The ‘family emergency’ excuse existed strictly as a formality for obvious reasons. Reasons that were starting to seem less obvious now. 

The letter in his drawer was already old news--at least to him. Beast Boy knew the contents of the note by heart. The memorization wasn’t intentional, but the words swam around in his head constantly nonetheless. A symptom of a much larger disease, as Raven might have put it. So he’d moved on to obsessively deconstructing and reconstructing the many packages that still littered their living room. Not that doing so had given him any more insight into who Nicholas Galtry was. Or why he had had possession of all of his parents’ things. Or why they were here now. Among the many disjointed thoughts that rattled in his brain, one consistently nudged its way to the top of the pool. That one was also tucked neatly away in a drawer in his room. Though he hadn’t dared to look at the picture since first putting it there.

Beast Boy glanced behind him at the clock in the kitchen. He’d been here an hour already--someone was probably already out looking for him, Robin’s orders. He quickly shut the box he was currently sorting through. It had been the same as all the boxes before it--filled with priceless, nameless items from another place and another time. He felt like a thief, searching his own belongings, not knowing what exactly he hoped to find among them. Each time carefully packing the boxes back as he’d found them. Like a thief, hoping to cover his tracks.

“There you are.”

Beast Boy flinched, instantly shrinking back from the box in front of him. He turned around to face Cyborg looming over him.

“Man, I’ve been lookin’ for you everywhere ,” Cyborg said, a twinge of frustration in his voice. “What the hell are you doin’ up here?”

“Nothing,” Beast Boy said, anxiously getting to his feet. “Just...hanging out.”

Cyborg frowned. “Well maybe you should come ‘hang out’ at training.”

“Training?” Beast Boy repeated automatically.

“Yeah, you know...the thing we have scheduled every single afternoon? At the exact same time? Every day?” Cyborg said, cocking an eyebrow at him. Now he seemed more confused than frustrated—a switch that was very typically Cyborg.

“Right. Training. I was wondering where everyone else was,” Beast Boy answered. It was a poor excuse, but it wasn’t actually a lie.

Cyborg sighed, but there was a hint of a joking smile on his face when he spoke next. “Let’s just get down there before Robin kicks both our asses, okay?”

Beast Boy nodded, and for a moment it was as if the boxes behind him ceased to exist. It currently felt like there were two worlds jammed under one roof, and now that he’d been pulled out of the one behind him, he saw just how much he preferred the one in front of him. Even if it meant getting his ass kicked.

The training field had come a long way from the public school playground it resembled when they’d first settled into the Tower. It was Robin’s ongoing project--adding another ropes course, integrating fully automated sparring dummies...there were even obstacles designed with each of their abilities in mind. Beast Boy was sure that Robin had a Pinterest board dedicated to the fiasco for all of the crazy things he was constantly adding to it.

Which is why Beast Boy was confused to find that none of it was being used.

“Oh no. Don’t tell me--”

“Yep,” Cyborg said, walking the opposite direction of Robin’s martial arts art display.

“Dude, I suck at hand to hand.”

“Probably why Robin thinks you ditched,” Cyborg shrugged.

In the distance, their three remaining teammates were gathered in a clearing at the opposite end of the field. Starfire stood leaning against a tree on the sidelines, water bottle in hand. In the center of a well-worn patch of grass, Robin and Raven circled each other in what seemed to be a never-ending dance.

“So when you said Robin was gonna kick my ass...you meant that literally, didn’t you?” Beast Boy said with a frown.

“Well it might not be Robin who kicks your ass,” Cyborg smiled. “It could be Star, or Raven, or yours truly.”

“Wow, thanks,” Beast Boy grumbled. He knew Cyborg was only teasing, and Beast Boy had been the first to admit that the skillset wasn’t exactly his strong suit. But the remark lingered in his mind a second longer than he knew it should have.

“Okay, so maybe it’s not really your thing, but hey,” Cyborg said, placing a hand on Beast Boy’s shoulder. “Practice makes perfect. You’ll get there.”

“Dude. I turn into animals for a living. Most of which don’t even have opposable thumbs,” Beast Boy said, flexing his own in front of his friend. “I don’t need to be good at something I’m never gonna use.”

Cyborg merely shook his head dismissively. “Never say never, man.”

“Okay, Robin ,” Beast Boy replied with a smirk.

As if on cue, Robin and Raven’s dance came to a halt as soon as the words left Beast Boy’s mouth. He had figured they were still out of earshot, but maybe he’d been wrong.

“There you two are,” Robin said as the two of them stepped into the loosely defined dirt ring. He glanced down at his watch and then directly at Beast Boy. “Beast Boy, you’re twenty minutes late. Practice starts at four. You know that.”

Any trace of teasing Cyborg had expressed instantly evaporated when Robin spoke.

“Uh...four-twenty blaze it?” Beast Boy said with a shrug and a terribly awkward smile. The one that always appeared on his face whenever he didn’t know what else to say--which was more often than he would have liked to admit.

Robin closed his eyes, raising a hand to his temples.

Raven’s facepalm was much less subtle.

“Starfire are you ready to go?” Robin asked, shaking his head slightly.

“Mmm hmm!” Starfire hummed in response.

“Great. Then I’m gonna have you and Beast Boy up next.”

“Uh…” Beast boy shot a glance at Starfire, who was practically the living portrait of an Instagram athlete. “Shouldn’t I warm up first or something?”

“In a real fight, you won’t always get the chance to ‘warm up’ beforehand,” Robin said, crossing his arms over his chest. Which was definitely his way of saying ‘that’s what you get for showing up late’.

“Don’t worry, Beast Boy,” Starfire smiled. “I will try not to injure you too terribly.”

Beast Boy certainly began to feel warm now, to the point where he was sure his face was turning red.

In his peripheral, he saw that Cyborg had cleared the training ring and was now standing beside Raven on the sidelines. She leaned in slightly to her left, whispering something into Cyborg’s ear with a devious smirk.  

Beast Boy felt his stomach drop. He didn’t know what was worse. Starfire’s complete sincerity or Raven’s total lack thereof.

But he didn’t have much time to dwell on the thought before it was overtaken completely by a harrowing sense of panic. He had been posed for a fight, staring head on at his partner. But it was only now that his vision snapped back into focus, just in time to catch a whirling ball of green energy headed directly toward him.

He quickly swerved out of the way, trying to regain his balance. But before he could find his footing, another blaze shone at his feet, knocking him straight to the ground. He squinted, eyes beginning to water from the dust cloud that now surrounded him. He wanted to open his mouth to say something--make some complaint that he hadn’t been ready, that there had been no signal to start. But he knew that wouldn’t buy him any sympathy in Robin’s eyes.  

Of course, vying for Robin’s attention was even less of a no-go once the sirens started blaring.

Without so much as a nod from the leader in question, everyone took off in the same direction. Everyone except Beast Boy, who was still on the ground.

He pushed himself to his feet, the palms of his hands stinging against the soil. He knew it wasn’t personal. None of this was personal. Kind of like how the sense of isolation and strangeness he’d felt around his friends since the reading that letter certainly wasn’t personal .

But as he watched them disappearing now--not one of them looking back to see if he had followed--it sure felt that way.

So what if calling shotgun was more important than helping him up? He shook his head, now unable to hold back a self-satisfied smirk. No matter how much of a head start they had, no one was going to outrun a cheetah.

Within seconds, the ground flew under his feet like a treadmill set on max speed. When the garage came into view, Beast Boy was relieved to find that it was already open--and more importantly empty. In a flash, he transformed back, and with the same proud smile lingering on his face sauntered over to crack open the passenger door.

His smile instantly disappeared when he saw who was behind it.

“ Raven ?”

Even at her name, she didn’t so much as shoot him a glance. Raven just sat there, comfortably nestled in the passenger seat with her feet kicked up on the dashboard. She scrolled through her phone with a bored expression--like she’d been there for hours.

“How the hell did you beat me?” Beast Boy blurted out, feeling irrationally annoyed as Raven continued to sit there, chewing a piece of gum in silence.

“Want a piece?” she said absentmindedly, materializing a pack of DoubleMint from the locked glove box. There were dozens of other flavors inside--so many packs that they filled almost half the compartment.  “It’s Cyborg’s secret stash--but I won’t tell.”

Beast Boy ignored her. “There’s no way you could have beaten me here. I took a shortcut even you don’t know about,” he said curtly.

“Weird, huh?” she said, turning her attention back to her phone. “It’s almost like magic. ”

Beast Boy frowned. “That’s cheating.”

“And you turning into a cheetah clearly isn’t,” she said plainly. Then another sly smile crept onto her face. “Get it? A cheetah ?”

Beast Boy’s face scrunched up in even further annoyance. Without a word, he shut the passenger door, opening the one behind it. He already knew which seat he’d be directed to sit in. Though even calling it a seat was a bit generous. Nevertheless, he’d occupied it since day one because, of course, ‘he was the shortest and it just made sense for him to ride in the middle because if they were ever in a crash the height of the headrest wouldn’t do anyone else any good blah blah blah’. As if something as normal as a car crash would really be enough to injure a bunch of superheroes.  

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road,” Cyborg said, swinging open the door to the driver’s seat and hopping inside.

As the doors on either side of him opened and closed in perfect sync, Beast Boy was struck with another harrowing consequence of his seating arrangement.  

It was true that Robin and Starfire were relatively tame as far as couples went--at least in terms of explicit PDA.  It was only once in a blue moon that you actually caught them exchanging so much as a kiss on the cheek. But there was no denying the magnetic force between them. And it was times like these that Beast Boy felt less like a person and more like a glitch jamming the radio signal.

“Okay,” Robin said, flicking open the communication device on his wrist. A small holographic map appeared above it, marking several heat signatures as they traversed the grid on the screen. In an instant, an identical image appeared on a screen in the center console of the car.

“Looks like they’ve already hit Gorman street,” Cyborg said, glancing at the center console.  

“They’re moving fast,” Robin added, adjusting something on the device. “But only because they’ve sacrificed numbers for speed”.

“Well let’s just see if they can outrun this, ” Cyborg replied, revving the engine in response. Within moments, the Tower was far behind them.

Beast Boy leaned forward slightly to look out the window on his left. They hadn’t been driving long at all, but he had no idea where they were. Left and right, worn down warehouse buildings lined the streets as far as he could see. Overhead, a thick gray fog swallowed the entire sky.

“Starfire, I want you and Cy to go after the group of three heading west,” Robin continued, pointing to several figures on the map as he spoke. “I’ll go after the solo. Raven, Beast Boy—you two track the pair heading in the opposite direction.”

Raven didn’t outwardly protest, but her agitated sigh was enough to send its intended message.  

After what seemed like only a second later, the car skidded to a halt at the edge of a narrow alley. And without missing a beat, everyone else took off in their respective directions at full speed. This time Beast Boy could confidently blame the middle seat for keeping him a step behind.

“I’ll race ya,” Beast Boy said, throwing a competitive smile at Raven, who had surprisingly seemed to be waiting for him.

“Just hurry up,” she said plainly, looking to the sky.

The streets seemed even more bleak from above.

Every other street light flickered as if choking out its dying breath. Cracks ran down the sidewalks like jagged scars, and chipped paint and graffiti adorned the walls of the decrepit buildings. Beast Boy found himself wondering where everyone was--there were barely even any cars on the streets.

“Ow!” Raven exclaimed suddenly.

Simultaneously, Beast Boy felt his wings crumple under him as he crashed into her from behind. He screeched involuntarily, trying to regain his balance.

“Why are we stopping?” he asked--or rather squawked--momentarily forgetting he was still very much a bird.

Luckily, Raven seemed to get the idea. Without a word, she pointed to two shadowy figures slipping around the corner of a nearby building. She started to open her mouth to say something then, but Beast Boy was already locking in on the figures below.

Without a second thought, he dove sharply down toward one of the shadows in his sight. Talons poised, he only managed to graze the top of his target’s head. Or at least what he could think of as being the thing’s head, as the action felt more like skimming a silhouette than an actual person.

At the very least, the surprise of his attack was enough to knock the figure off balance and trip on some debris below.

Beast Boy landed nearby, skidding onto the asphalt. Back on two legs, he whipped around and morphed once more. A rhino was always a solid play when you didn’t quite know what you were dealing with. He kicked up the rubble under his front foot and ducked his head, preparing for a  running start. Then he let his momentum carry him forward--feeling the power of an entire stampede in his muscles--which turned out to be much more than he bargained for.

It was like the wall came out of nowhere. Or maybe he just hadn’t looked before leaping. Though his horn mdulled the impact slightly, Beast Boy felt every shard of cement as the crash sent a shocking ripple through his entire body. When he opened his eyes, he was back to his usual self again. But unlike a moment ago, his head was spinning, and he was on his back watching the dark clouds rolling above. His vision had doubled, even tripled, and he shook his head wearily in an attempt to focus on anything at all. Instead, he saw the shaking image of someone approaching him. And his gut told him it wasn’t one of the people they were after. It was something much worse.

“What the fuck was that?” Raven said, leaning over him with a disapproving pout on her face.

“Rhino,” was all Beast Boy could manage, his head still spinning.

Raven scowled, but extended a hand out to him regardless. When she yanked him to his feet in one swift motion, the gesture suddenly felt less sympathetic.

“We’re supposed to be working together , moron,” she said, her tone biting. “How the hell are we supposed to do that if you knock yourself out before we even catch up to the bad guys?”

Beast Boy didn’t have an answer for that. So he didn’t give one, which probably didn’t help his case any more.

“God, you’re useless,” Raven said, grabbing his wrist and dragging him behind him. “Come on.”  

They continued down the natural path of the alleyway uneventfully. And that was what worried Beast Boy most. If he wasn’t going to die at the hands of their enemies, he was sure he’d die of embarrassment knowing he’d let them get away. Again.

Luckily for him, if Raven had any more thoughts on the matter she kept them to herself.

When they reached what seemed to be the end of the narrow street, Beast Boy was somewhat relieved to find that it wasn’t the dead end he had been expecting. Rather, the space before them now opened dramatically into something resembling a large courtyard. The entire perimeter was lined by walls of surrounding brick buildings--the only other entrances and exits to the pavilion being opposing alleyways much like the one they’d just emerged from.

But the courtyard’s strange location certainly wasn’t the most interesting thing about it.

In the very center, shrouded by a cloud of steam trickling through a nearby grate, two figures turned abruptly to meet their gaze. Even though Beast Boy could hardly make out the eyes looking back at them, he knew their stare was a threat.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Raven said quietly, lingering in the shadows for a moment longer.

The words echoed in Beast Boy’s head, this time in his own voice. Then a wave of panic suddenly passed over him. He wasn’t actually sure he knew the difference between what was considered brave and what Raven would consider stupid. And he didn’t exactly have the time to mull it over.  

Raven stood next to him, arms outstretched, as a flurry of flying rubble began to swirl around the two figures like a vicious tornado. Everything pulled toward them like scrap metal to a magnetic core--everything from the pebbles on the ground to full sized wooden beams and crates that littered the edges of the arena.

Beast Boy searched desperately through this mind for something to do--something to be. A mouse? Small enough to go unnoticed, but way too slow to bridge the gap between the opposing sides in such a short time. He thought to the opposite end of the spectrum. A gorilla or a bear could give him a boost of much needed strength if he cut back on speed. But maybe that was too on the nose. Just like the rhino.

He bit his lip nervously, catching Raven in his peripheral again. They were supposed to be working together after all--and she had clearly taken the lead. But he had no idea how she expected him to follow.

And suddenly, it occurred to Beast Boy that that was the secret to the riddle. The one way he could truly and certainly ‘not do something stupid’ was by not doing anything at all.

For a moment, he was almost proud of himself for finally cracking the code. But the false sense of pride evaporated as soon as he realized what it implied. Maybe his only use was...being completely useless? And just like that, he felt his stomach twist in a knot again as a familiar sense of embarrassment washed over him.

“Hellooo?” Raven’s voice rang out suddenly, snapping Beast Boy out of his daze.

He turned to look at her, finding her in the same position, teeth clenched and arms shaking ever so slightly as she held her pose.  

“I said not to do anything stupid ,” she snarled. “Not ‘don’t do anything at all’!”

Beast Boy blinked hard, absorbing her words--the hint of need in her voice, however faint. And suddenly, miraculously, his feeling of uncertainty disappeared as quickly as it had come.

In a flash he was a mighty T-Rex, half as tall as the building behind him. Charging forward, he reached down and fished out one of the criminals from the fading cyclone. Grabbing the figure by the arm, he swung them into the adjacent wall with ease, a cloud of dust gathering upon the point of contact. A hit that would probably kill the average person; but Beast Boy knew that right now he was just buying time.

From the corner of his eye, he caught the second figure starting to pull out a small radio, shielding it from the winds as they spoke into the device.

But before they could utter more than a sentence or two, Beast Boy spun around, sweeping them off their feet completely with his enormous tail. The person went flying at a ninety degree angle from the last, and he watched as the body hit the crumbling wall with a ‘definitely unconscious’ crash.

Morphing back, Beast Boy stood tall, admiring his work.

Raven appeared beside him a moment later, surveying the scene.

“Not bad, huh?”

“I warmed them up for you,” Raven said matter-of-factly. But Beast Boy couldn’t stop himself from brandishing another self-satisfied smirk.

Raven automatically went over to the first fallen figure, pushing directly past him as she went. Beast Boy took the hint and headed the opposite direction, preparing to inspect the second wreckage site hound dog style.

Bombarded by a multitude of different scents, he realized that he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for. He hoped he would know it when he came across it. And he did--when something cold and metallic brushed up against his nose.

With an obnoxious sneeze that sent his floppy ears soaring, Beast Boy took a step back from the dust cloud he had created in front of him. He squinted, coming back up on the area after the dust had settled to find a small coin-like silver disc buried in the ground. But it looked incomplete somehow, like it was only one half of a whole, given several small divots on the surface of the disc. And there was something else mixed in with the scent of the cool metal. Something thick and tangy. He followed the scent further until he found its source.

“Uh...Raven?” He hesitated, instinctively pulling back from the spot it had led him to.

Directly at his feet, the second figure lay face down in the rubble. Their clothing made it difficult to tell what kind of injuries they sustained, but there was blood. Lots of blood.

At the top of the neck, just under their hairline, a perfect silver circle was embedded in the skin--a corresponding piece almost identical to the one on the ground a few yards away. Except this one was covered in miniature circuits and drenched in the dark red liquid oozing from underneath it.

Beast Boy quickly turned back to pick up the first piece and compare the two. He was certain they had once made a single whole. But the half he inspected in his hand seemed to be no more than the covering to the blood caked battery beneath. There was some writing on it though--and maybe that could tell him something .

In a moment, Raven was beside him again, abandoning her less interesting finds at the other end of the courtyard.

“What is it?” She asked, leaning over to try and get a better look at the item in Beast Boy’s hand.

“I don’t know,” he replied, squinting at the object as he tried to make out the markings engraved on its surface. “A...R...S…,” he read slowly. “It looks like there’s more but I can’t make it out.”

Raven extended her hand, and Beast Boy automatically dropped it into her palm for a second opinion.

“Whoever these people are, they must have something to do with that break in,” she said, flipping the silver piece over in her hand. “I guess Robin was right.”

Beast Boy looked down at the body again with a frown.

“Okay, but we still don’t have any more of an idea what they’re after.”

Raven didn’t say anything. She just stood over the body, staring at it intently--in a way that suggested more than just superficial intrigue.

Suddenly, the small metal badge embedded in the figure’s skin was enveloped in a purple haze, and Beast Boy watched in horror as it began to peel away from the flesh underneath like a perfect silver scab. Leaving behind a gruesome red ring of skin, it slowly floated up and over into Raven’s open pocket.

Beast Boy swallowed hard at the sight, a bitter taste in the back of his mouth. For a split second, he was worried he was about to revisit breakfast in the worst way.  

“Dude...what the fuck ?” he said, eyes darting between the site of the impromptu surgery and Raven’s slightly blood stained pocket. “That’s nasty.”

Raven didn’t even blink. “Yeah, well so are you and Robin still keeps you around so...”

Beast Boy took a step back from the scene, the scent still of blood still lingering a little too strongly for his liking. And after watching Raven pull off something like that without so much as a moan or a grunt from the disc’s owner, he wasn’t so certain the victims were just napping anymore. He tried not to think too much about the potential fate of the person at his feet. He hated the possibility of pushing that boundary--even if they were ‘the bad guys’.

“You know, that actually wasn’t too bad,” Beast Boy said suddenly. His laugh was stifled and unconvincing, but he knew Raven wouldn’t likely acknowledge his discomfort, which was a bit of a relief in its own right. Regardless, he turned on his heel and made a purposeful decision to start walking away from the scene in hopes that she would naturally follow. Luckily, she did.  

“The fight? Or having to be alone with you for more than five minutes?” She said, overtaking him by a step or two. “Because if you’re referring to the latter I’m gonna have to disagree.”

“I mean, but it works. We work. Sometimes,” Beast Boy said, though he was unsure why he was still talking. “It’s like...you know,” he droned on as they walked. “Like oil and vinegar.”

Raven noticeably began to slow her pace. “Like what ?”

“Oil and vinegar. You know. It’s like our flavor ,” Beast Boy said, making some attempt to clarify with a hand gesture.

It was here Raven stopped completely, turning to face him.

“ This ,” she said gesturing between them in return, “is not a flavor .”

Beast Boy shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well I still think it’s a good metaphor.”

“Why? Raven replied, mimicking his pose. “Because we can’t stand being together and naturally repel each other?”            

“Buuuuut,” Beast Boy added pointedly, “sometimes when you put us together you get an affordable and delicious salad dressing.”

Raven paused. She closed her eyes, raising her hand to her temple in a deep, meditative stillness before opening her mouth to speak. “You know, sometimes I really wonder how I haven’t killed you by now. Even accidentally.”

Beast Boy frowned. “Just to be clear, you’re the vinegar in this situation.”

The two began to walk again, but Beast Boy only made it a few steps before Raven thrust a hand out in front of him, stopping him mid-stride. And this time it didn’t seem to be because of anything he’d said.

“What?” he blurted out stupidly. At least this time Raven would be able to understand him.

Raven was completely still for a moment longer, her eyes slowly scanning the area around them. “You didn’t hear that?” she said quietly.

“Hear what?” Beast Boy said, again the words feeling stupid and redundant the moment he uttered them.

“Something other than the sound of your own voice,” Raven said under her breath.

Beast Boy looked all around them, just as Raven had. But he didn’t see anything. Let alone hear anything out of the ordinary.

“You’re just being paranoid,” he said, lightly pushing her arm back down to her side. “There were only two of them. You saw on Robin’s map.”

Raven didn’t seem too comforted by the reminder.

Beast Boy moved slightly to meet her gaze, which was focused somewhere far off in the distance. “I’m tellin’ ya. Oil and vinegar.”

Then, with a little more force than he expected, Raven pushed pushed past him and began to walk again.  

“Where are you going?” Beast Boy said, somewhat startled.

“Home.”

“Didn’t you wanna sweep the area first?”

“Not if it means twenty more minutes of this,” Raven said, waving her hand dismissively. “Besides, I’m just being ‘paranoid’.”

“Okay, well so much for working together then I guess,” Beast Boy said, rolling his eyes.

Raven shot him a look over her shoulder. Then, in an instant, she froze, eyes growing wide as she opened her mouth to say something.

But Beast Boy beat her to it.

He wasn’t sure the noise he made was completely human, even if the small blade twirling in the dirt just past him hadn’t completely hit its mark. He bit his lip to keep himself from another outburst. It had only grazed the side of his calf, but that was enough to bring him to one knee. He knew that if it had hit him the way it had been intended, he’d be on the ground.

Suddenly, everything around him was engulfed in shadow--and Beast Boy wondered if this was what people meant when they talked about ‘blacking out’. He really hoped that wasn’t what was happening. Not in front of Raven of all people. And not over a glorified paper cut .  

A moment later, finding he was still very much conscious, Beast Boy was relieved to find that Raven was the source of the shadowy dome that now surrounded them on all sides. But the relief didn’t last long.

Beyond the opaque screen of darkness, there was a ceaseless blur of motion. Hundreds of tiny silver sparks rebounded off the outer edge, like hail raining down in a terrible storm.

Beast Boy glanced up at Raven from where he knelt on the ground. She was gritting her teeth, brow furrowed and eyes aglow. She didn’t so much as blink when he looked at her, which wasn’t a good sign.

He looked around frantically. Every direction depicted the same terrible scene. Every direction—except for one. It was only now that he noticed how soft the earth was underneath him. How the asphalt of the alleyways seemed to melt away as they worked their way toward the center of the courtyard. And that gave him an idea. An idea Beast Boy didn’t allow himself to think through.

There was something reassuring about being so close to the ground. But the transformation into a badger probably hadn’t been the best for his wound. His leg was starting to ache even more now, and he realized that would probably make digging all the more difficult.  

But before he could test his hypothesis, a voice rang out over the crackling of bullets, clear and strong and demanding to be heard.

“Do you have a death wish?,” Raven yelled, her voice cutting above the static.  

“What do you think?” Beast Boy said, instantly morphing back. The words came out as sharp as the blades whirling around them.

“Well I guess it’s a good thing gophers are bulletproof ,” Raven said with a laugh dripping with anything but humor.

“ Badgers . It’s a badger .” Beast Boy could feel the adrenaline pulsing in his veins like wildfire--even though he knew the reaction was unwarranted, especially given the more concerning matters at hand.

“Really bad time for an argument, Beast Boy. Really bad time,” Raven bit back.

For a split second, Beast Boy thought of going ahead with his plan anyway. Then it occurred to him that he’d probably already used up what little luck he had for the day.

“Okay, so what’s your bright idea?” he said, struggling to hide the growing annoyance in his voice. But all things considered, he really hoped she had one.

“Not dying. That’s my plan,” she said, shutting her eyes tightly.  

Beast Boy looked around nervously--though he wasn’t sure what he was looking for.  

“Can’t you just...teleport us out or something?” he said, biting his lip.

“Teleportation or force field. You get one .”

The second Raven spoke though, she was interrupted by a noise that overtook even the hammering of the bullets around them. The short metallic pings were swapped for one firework-like explosion, the ground beneath them trembling just enough to make Beast Boy second guess his balance. From the looks of it, their attackers hadn’t been so lucky.

The bullets raining down on them slowed to a drizzle--then seemed to stop completely after a few stray shots. But not because the remaining gunmen had ceased fire. Rather, the firing now seemed to be directed somewhere else entirely.

Before Beast Boy could figure out where everyone else had turned their attention, his own focus was redirected again as he felt something cold on his wrist. A hand, gripping onto him with what felt like an unnecessary amount of force.  

Beast Boy felt the ground sway beneath him again uneasily until it disappeared completely, the hard dirt and asphalt replaced by rough gray concrete. When the scene before him came into a clear focus, his stomach lurched. With a primal desperation, he reached out, searching for the hand that had just let go of him. Now he was the one holding on like his life depended on it.  

In front of him now was a perfect aerial snapshot of the pavilion. They had to be at least ten stories up, given the size of the figures below them.

“Um…”

Beast Boy looked up, heart still pounding, though he wasn’t sure the vertigo was responsible for the anxiety he felt now.

Raven was staring at him--or rather their hands intertwined--with a clear level of discomfort. What kind, Beast Boy couldn’t tell.

“You can let go of my hand now,” she said slowly.

Beast Boy flinched, releasing her hand from his own as quickly as he had grabbed it. His knuckles were stiff, flushed by the strain of his grip.

An awkward beat of silence passed between them, broken only when Raven turned to grab something from her pocket.

“What are you doing?” Beast Boy asked, terribly conscious of the slight crack in his voice.

“Calling Robin,” Raven replied, an audible ring echoing from the blood-spotted comms device now resting in her hand.

The two waited for another excruciatingly long moment until the ringing came to an abrupt, unanswered halt.

“I guess he’s busy,” Beast Boy shrugged. But something snagged in his stomach at the thought. Robin probably was very busy. But Beast Boy wasn’t sure he really believed that was why he hadn’t picked up. He took out his own pager anxiously, already flipping through the contacts on the main screen. “Lemme try Cyborg.”

The dial tone cut off after the first ring.

Raven paused for a moment then looked up at him. “I don’t even have a signal.”

Beast Boy looked down at the device in his own hand. Neither did he. “Huh. Well that’s...weird.”

“Yeah,” Raven said, a definitive frown forming on her lips. “And that’s not the only thing that’s a little weird.”

As she spoke, Raven stared down at the pavilion below them, unblinking. She seemed intently focused on...something. But Beast Boy wasn’t entirely sure that it was the fight happening on the ground. A fight that was becoming increasingly hard to follow, even for someone who was trying to keep up with it.

Beast Boy scanned the turf once, then again through the eyes of a hawk, hoping for a better view. Squinting beyond the cloud of dust, he finally was able to hone in on the action--and more importantly, their attackers’ new target.  

The man stood out like a current rolling on a still sea. Rather than trying to dodge the attacks of his pursuers, he danced through the waves with an impossible accuracy, almost as if he were intentionally trying to attract their shots. And he did--like hungry flies to a show horse. Only he never seemed to get bitten. The flies bit themselves. They bit each other. Falling one after the other around him as they continued to follow him further and further away from the center of the pavilion.

Just before the man disappeared into the shadows of the opposite alleyway, Beast Boy finally caught a glimpse of his face amongst the swarming insects--his shiny black hair and toothless grin glistening in the artificial night.

[universitypenguin]

What happened to u? U okay?

Hello!

First off, thank you for your concern. I appreciate it and I needed it after the past two days. To answer your question - I'm doing great.

I don’t have a lot of context about your question, but I’m guessing your concern is due to my recent blocking spree. A day ago, I went through my followers list and found some minors. I’ve previously seen smut fanfic writers concerned by underage people interacting with their posts. Until I had to block a few of them, I wasn’t aware how uncomfortable it would make me feel.

Since the blocking spree, I've had a lot of thoughts. I'm about to spew them everywhere. You might regret asking me if I was okay. Sorry about that. No one needs to read this whole manifesto about my rollercoaster of emotions the past few days. But in the interest of transparency, I'm posting this very long note.

What I want my readers to know is the following:

Tumblr is both a place for fanfiction and a social media site.

When I interact with followers and write explicit content, I have to be careful about what I'm saying and who I'm saying it to.

I don't intend to block or purge my followers in the future.

As long as I appropriately tag and put warnings on my work, that is adequate protection for my blog. Everything I write containing explicit content is tagged.

However, I won't interact with users who don't have an age stated in their bio.

There have to be boundaries, given the content of my writing. But I've also come around to the realization that I'm not capable of policing every interaction. Tumblr is a public forum. Minors following me makes me uncomfortable. But by the same token, my work is clearly labeled at 18+ and so is my blog.

There's a lot of explicit content out there for minors if you really think about it. In my high school freshman English class we talked about the book "The Color Purple." Believe me, that was explicit and we were only 14. Any minor with a library card and a Google browser can access a lot more intense content than what I write. I hope they're all being safe, but I can't have a melt down blocking spree again.

I'm not a cop, I'm not a parent, and what minors consume is down to them and the adult responsible for them. If I know someone is a minor I'll block them, should I notice they're trying to interact with me. Otherwise, I'm not purging my followers ever again. It's too much drama. I'd rather leave Tumblr than do that twice. I'm tired and I'm starting to work on my post graduate classes, I work full time in a demanding job, I'm in the process of editing my novel, and trying to keep up with my personal life. Quite literally, I don't have time to block. Writing fanfic is supposed to be my fun time. Let's keep it that way.

Due to the fact that some people I blocked were later unblocked after I took a closer look at their blogs, I'm posting a full explanation below. A quick summary is this:

After only writing for three months, I'd amassed 500 followers. On Monday I blocked almost 200 of them. Then I reviewed my block list and editing down some people who were prematurely blocked. [I assume the anon is one of the unblocked who had me disappear from their dash. Sorry!] This blocking thing isn't sustainable. In the future I'll run my blog differently as far as interaction goes in an effort to be responsible.

Continue reading for the saga of:

The Great Blocking Spree and Existential Crisis of an Erotic Fanfic Writer.

The Blocking Spree:

On Monday I realized a thirteen year old was following me and interacting with my work. This creeped me out.

*Commence blocking spree*

Then I realized how daunting my followers list was. I had 500 followers prior to Monday. That day I blocked about 200 people (some of them prematurely - more on that later.) So after the daunting task of trying to assume, to check bios for ages, to review blog content and determine the user's age, I was tired. Today, I even took a moment to reconsider if I wanted to use Tumblr. Because if all this is my responsibility, maybe I don't have the time or dedication to manage it. When I can be chill, I try to be. This attitude also affected by blocking. It contributed to me unblocking people. When I was doing the blocking spree, I'd give people with no age in their bio a fair shot by reviewing their posts.

I blocked some bot accounts, then a bunch of blank blogs, some ambiguous people who very well could be of age. For the first 100 followers I was pretty aggressive. Then my attention span dropped off and I was a bit more ambivalent. I realized I was doing a crappy job of moderating and wondered what the point was.

The point was that the thirteen year old interacting with my work freaked me out. When I found two sixteen year old followers, it pushed me to continue the purge.

So on I go, blocking. I'm so responsible for doing this, right? But my methodology is crap. What is context for being an adult? Someone had posted about budgeting advice. I thought the budgeting advice was too good for it not to have come from an adult. But my father's a financial advisor and to be honest, I could have given that level of advice at fifteen just from osmosis. Someone had pictures of themselves entering their marijuana plants in the Oregon State Fair. Okay, you've got to be over 18. I didn't block them. Someone else complained about their stats professor and I didn't block them. But in retrospect, one of my high school friends got permission to take college level math courses when we were seniors. She was seventeen when she had a stats professor. The thought circles back - what am I accomplishing here? Next, I went back and unblocked someone who ranted about her Tinder matches being 60 year old men. I wondered if their post was even real. I've lied on the internet before. Nonetheless, I persisted and worked through all 500 followers. When I was done I had 312 followers left.

Post Blocking Spree Existential Crisis:

I know that all the blocking in the world can't stop a teenager who wants to read smut fanfic. I'm not much for posting on social media and I'm not used to a lot of anonymous interaction online. Honestly, I got rid of my SM accounts during college when I felt it was wasting my time. This is the first time I've really use a social media site to post content since college. My twitter account is unused, my Instagram is for close personal friends only, and my TikTok is for mindless consumption of cat videos. (I've trained the algorithm to feed me only cat videos, it's great and I highly recommend it.) I don't post on TikTok, so I don't consider it full use, just lurking.

Okay, Alice, get back to the point....

Right, being anonymous on social media. My blocks are a fence and it's based on self identification from the blogs that follow me. I have little faith in underage consumers to out themselves. I have even less faith in their honesty or respect for an adult's boundaries. They're at a stage in life where they want to push the boundaries. Telling them no is all but inviting them in. I did my blocking spree because I was worried about backlash from someone's parents. But what reasonable judge would come after a fanfic writer? Come on. Logical thoughts but me emotional distress was still brewing.

Why I am the one responsible for who clicks the follow button on my blog? I've always clearly identified what I write and tagged my work as smut.

That thought snapped me out of my whirlwind of anxious thoughts. So I started looking into the laws. My regular work involves medicine, not the legal profession, so I was lost. I found some state level laws that made me glad I'd gone on a blocking spree. California and Florida have specific language in their laws about 'providing minors with explicit content.' But what exactly is that? What I researched applied to the following activities: co-writing smut fanfic with other people, sexting, roleplaying and online messaging.

I run a fanfic blog with limited interaction. I've never done an ask. I don't roleplay on here and I don't want to.

The blocks weren't personal. They were partly based on the awareness that Tumblr is an interactive site and a place that's had a problem with child pornography in the past. But I'm not the smut police. I suck at blocking, and I doubt I did a good job of purging my followers list. This is when it hit me that boundaries are only what I can enforce. They've never been about how other people relate to me, only how I relate to them. (Wow. I've never sounded more like my mother in my life...) After this thought, I started considering what actions I ought to take if I wanted to keep posting fanfic on Tumblr.

My Post Blocking Spree Clarity...

It's up to me who I interact with. I don't have to reply to every comment and re-blog, but I'd like to. I'm stuck between wanting to write for everyone and handling interactions on a social media site that's mostly anonymous.

The fact remains: I can't be the smut police because I suck at it.

What I've decided is that I'll make it very clear on my blog that this is an 18+ space where I publish erotic fanfiction. Smut will always be appropriately marked. I'm not going to interact with reviews, re-blogs, and messages from accounts who don't have their age in their profile. I won't include them in my tag list either. The internet is a public forum. Just as with publishing erotica, once it's out there online for download, it's done. As a ghost writer and an author, I don't control who buys my original fiction, which is just as spicy as my fanfiction. (Trust me, it's explicit. I once had a romance editor tell me I should dial it back on the smutty parts of a novel because "it's a lot of sex for a non-erotica market.") The key difference on Tumblr is about interaction. And that's something I can control. I can decide when I reply to other users. What brought me around to this was the realization that even after the blocking spree, I can't review every single like I get. That's an amount of time and mental energy that's beyond me. Just the past two days have been exhausting and sapped my will to write. Which sucks because I need to go write the next chapter of "Restitution" before tomorrow.

I think the reasons I went on the blocking spree are nuanced. The thirteen year old freaked me out. So did the other underaged people who had ages in their bios. But it also relates to my work. In my job I've seen some nasty child abuse cases. Early on in my career, when I was a 23 year old new hire, I was working on an autopsy for a child abuse victim who'd been murdered by their parent. It was so terrible and graphic, I had to ask one of my older colleagues to take the case. This colleague didn't like me. But she took one look at my face and took the file. She closed out the review without a question and never brought it up again to anyone. I was very grateful. Where I used to work (and where this incident took place) was a major city that holds the unfortunate title of being the human trafficking capital of the US. And something I learned working there was that most human trafficking victims go with their captors willingly. In two years at that job, I never saw one who'd been kidnapped from a dark alley like you see on TV. They were all groomed on social media and thought they were escaping their families (who were often overbearing, toxic, or dysfunctional) for a get away with friends. It was a fun adventure with their internet buddies, until it wasn't.

In retrospect, the underage interaction I found on my blog made me react because of what I've been through. The autopsy case kept coming back to me today while I was at work and I've finally untangled my emotions enough to figure out what caused my melt down. When I was blocking, I was feeling an anxious motivation that I know can only stem from the stress I deal with at my job. Don't feel sorry for me about this - I know my work in medicine helps a lot of people and it's a tremendously satisfying career.

Our Saga's Resolution & How I'm Going to Deal With This In The Future...

- - - - -

In post block clarity, I offer this conclusion:

I'm writing on a public forum. My work is appropriately tagged as smut. In the future, I will also use the tag #no minors to help with filtering. I've always asked underage people not to interact. And on a public forum, what more can I reasonably do? Going forward I will only interact with those who have their age posted in their bio. But blocking sprees and policing every interaction isn't feasible.

I'll review how I'm going to run my tag lists as well. I need to think it over and let my followers know my decision as to if I'll continue using them. Because tagging is definitely interaction and my current tag list was not screened at all. *face palm*

Finally, to my readers who have blank blogs or don't have an age listed. I respect your right to privacy and I'm careful with my personal information as well. But I've also had an uncomfortable two days. If you've lasted through this venting session until now, you must understand that I'm upset by underage interaction. I'm setting my own boundaries and going forward, I'll own my side of the internet. No interaction from me, unless I know your age. Full stop - no exceptions. I think it is reasonable for me to suggest that you leave something on your blog that signifies you are not a minor, whatever that may be. Someone who I didn't block that stands out in my memory had a bio that said "90s baby." It was simple, direct, and left no doubt they were over 18. No age reveal and not even a name. If you put something like this on your blog it'll help explicit content creators feel more comfortable about their interactions.

I went on a spree this Monday and I admit to being heavy handed and aggressive about pruning followers. I had an emotional reaction due to work stress and I didn't think things through logically. I'm relieved for the chance explain myself and set new boundaries that I'm capable of sticking to in the future. But remember - the block button is on my side of the screen. At the end of the day, you might be unhappy with me for the block, but it's my button, it's my blog, and I'll use it as I see fit.

Thank you for reading.

[succubusphan]

LOCKDOWN LADS

Excerpt: Overwhelmed by the stress of months upon months of being locked at home without a chance to go out other than to get some groceries or the occasional walk, Phil decided that enough was enough. Once a week, after his home office hours, he would log into his new favourite app, Stereo and just start a livestream with a random person. Rating: G

Tags: Non youtuber au, sort of fluff, references, meet-cute, streaming together, strangers to lovers.

Word Count: 689

A/n: This is part of my project 100 fics: I'm posting 7 fics before April 22nd so that my OSPBB fic can be my 100th story posted. I don't have them written so this could fail but I'm pretty set on it, so I hope to do it. PS: I wrote in an hour and a half so I'm sure there are mistakes but I'll catch them later. This is fic 99 so tomorrow expect my most dedicated work to date around 12.30 pm EST. (My interview is going up a few hours later on the @oldschoolpbb blog.)

Read on ao3

Overwhelmed by the stress of months upon months of being locked at home without a chance to go out other than to get some groceries or the occasional walk, Phil decided that enough was enough. If he was going to survive this situation, he was going to have to improvise.

Once a week, after his home office hours, he would log into his new favourite app, Stereo and just start a livestream with a random person. It started as just a way to reach out into the void, like a message in a bottle sent from his deserted island, hoping that someone would answer back, but eventually, he started to get some attention in the rankings which made it fun.

After a few weeks, people started sending him audio messages and opening new topics of conversation, but the broadcast was always with whoever managed to call him at 9 pm sharp.

A fateful June evening he joined the broadcast a guy named Daniel was inviting him to and everything changed. Phil pulled a card from his pile before picking up, his eyebrows shot up when he saw the knight of wands. “Hello? Who do we have here?”

“Hi, I’m Daniel Howell.”

“Hi Daniel, I’m Phil here, aka the Lockdown Lad,” he giggled. “How’s your night going?”

“Uh, well, it’s my birthday and I decided to call a stranger to do a broadcast, so you tell me.”

“Sounds like you made the right choice on how to start a new year. Happy birthday by the way. Do you have cake?”

“No, I was too sad to get one for myself, I thought it was pathetic.”

“You are from the Uk, right? I could send you some.”

“I’m from London but I don’t know how safe I would feel giving my home address to a stranger.”

“I’m in London too! Well, if you change your mind my Twitter handle is @Amazingphil. So… tell me something about yourself.”

“I am a published author. I published my first book three weeks ago.”

“Wow - I was not expecting that. Do you want to tell our small audience of thirty people about your book?”

“It’s a mental health guide. I speak about my personal experiences and my struggles in what I expect it’s a funny way, hoping that people can relate to some of that and maybe find some sort of comfort and use the advice I put there on what helped me. I co-wrote it with a therapist, by the way; or to be more precise, I wrote it and she checked that I wasn’t giving bad advice.”

“That’s very smart and responsible on your part. It sounds like a great book, I’d like to read it. What’s the name?”

“You will get through this night. I also made it into an audiobook, if you are that kind of a guy.”

“Fancy. I feel like I would enjoy your voice talking to me for many hours, Daniel.”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Daniel snorted.

“Hey Daniel, I like your avatar’s rainbow halo.”

“I like your rainbow sunglasses, Phil.”

There was a moment of silence and Phil smiled to himself. Recognition in the other some people called it. “Would you be interested in being my lockdown streaming pal again tomorrow? I’ve followed you on Twitter.”

“Yeah, why not? Can I be a lockdown lad too?”

“Lockdown lads it is. Alright, guys, I’m going to order myself a pizza. See you tomorrow for our Lockdown Lads stream at 9 pm London time. Have a good one, and happy birthday Daniel, I hope you end your night on a high.”

Daniel laughed softly, airily. “Yeah, I think I will. I just sent you my address so you can send me cake.”

“Thank you, I’ll send you some gayke right away.”

Sometimes it’s a matter of reaching out in the dark, sometimes someone extends their hand to you too, searching, yearning and your hands come together, pulling each other towards the light. Who knows, six months down the line you might be moving into a bigger apartment with them, thinking of a future together for decades to come.

[nergigante-beans]

new monster hunter dedicated ramble blog! hello! do my posts show up in the tag yet omfg. Tumblr truly is hell. I promise I’m not a pornbot or a spammer, just let me interact with people...

current hyperfixation? monster hunter stories 2 >O> I just think nergigante is neat...

idek if anyone interacts on tumblr anymore since it’s been a while since I’ve done any sort of dedicated fanblog of any sort, but I’ll be sure to tag spoilers and keep em under a read more if I end up rambling about them.

I am not sure what people consider spoilers though. Plot, obviously, but what about the monstiepedia/postgame monsties? Companions? I’ll err on the side of caution, anyways.

Post-game has been pretty relaxing and going slowly. I’ve got 5 achievements left to get including finishing out the kinship gallery, completing my monsterpedia, completing the gene compendium, and getting the last catavan stands.

Gene compendium and monsterpedia seem to be the biggest nightmares of the bunch, as I can’t seem to find certain HR monsters for the life of me (rarest monster in the game being HR aptonoth??? please???) I’m missing maybe 30 entries in the monsterpedia and I don’t remember where I am on the gene compendium...

Kinship gallery is gonna be a bit of work, but I had been trying to keep at least 1 copy of every monster in my stables so it hasn’t been too awful so far. Just a lot of monster petting and bullying the same yian kut ku right outside mahana with my army of level 1 babies. I somehow must’ve dumped or sacrificed my only great baggi and congalala so far, so I’m gonna have to go grab eggs for those guys soon, but I think I have everyone else?

I think after I fill out my kinship gallery and grab the rest of the achievements, I’m just gonna spend all my postgame time hunting nergie eggs... :) my little elder eater... what a baby!!!! I’m sorry in advance to my poor stable paw for whatever stress this causes LOL.

Did anyone else not realize that the double kinship gallery only counts if you used Ratha with those companions? Because I was pretty bummed that I had to go through and get those again, even though I had definitely seen them before :/ smh.

I see a lot of nergigantes in online play and I feel a little basic, but I just really like this guy... it just really became my favorite monster after mhw and iceborne, and the ruiner nerg fight at MR100 had so much character. Absolutely the monster I was most hyped about from the trailers, and did not disappoint. 1000000/10.

shout out to that one person I played an SR expedition with who had an absolute unit of a popo. You’re also living your best life and I respect that immensely.

If anyone plays on PC/Steam and wants to do some SR expeditions together, hmu! I’ve got a few extra gold tickets/gold palamute tickets lying around :). I’ve already gotten copies of all the monsters in them, so I’m happy to host for anyone who needs em.

Warning in advance that I do kind of go through expeditions at my own pace and get all the chests, and if I see a monster i need for my monsterpedia/gear I most likely will pick a fight with it ahah. I genuinely don’t mind superfluous fights in expeditions, so feel free to do the same as well in my expeditions. If all you want to do is max efficiency bum-rush to the end, I am truly not the partner for you haha. That said, I’m decently high level and I think I’m able to carry people through most SR expedition fights barring the occasional disaster of rng, so if you haven’t done them before don’t worry :).

wow I’m really incapable of shutting up haha hello congrats on making it to the end.

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Horikoshi: This will probably not be super popular, but it’ll be fun!

Us: Oh, well that sounds nice!

Us, 290 chapters later: This Isn’t Fun Anymore Horikoshi

Horikoshi: :)

Anyways, welcome to the beginning of - hopefully - a long term and engaging project. I am basically aware of all of canon, and am up to date with the manga, but I haven’t actually read from the beginning of the series, and I’ve only watched the series up to the Deku v Todo fight in the sports festival. However, I’ve been curious as to how the manga portrays stuff that I’ve seen in anime gif form, and so I figured, hey, make this a project!

If you have questions or anything, the ask box is open for now. Meanwhile, I am going to head into the first chapter proper!

[No. 1 - Izuku Midoriya: Origin]

Wow, you’d almost think this kid would grow up to be a villain or something, with that kind of attitude, huh? No way that this kind of attitude would ever come to bite him in the ass and force him to reevaluate his entire character and kickstart his character development.

(Before you say anything, I like Katsuki as a character, but DAMN did he have to do a lot of growing up. I suppose when one is at the bottom, the only way to go is up… unless you have a pickaxe.)

One thing I actually noticed right away, and I dunno how much it’s used in other manga (seeing as I currently am not reading any other manga and the last ones I read were… a long while ago…) is the shape of the text boxes in order to convey emotion! It’s actually hella neat and a little detail I wouldn’t think about adding if I were in his position (not that I can draw all that well, but that’s not my point). You can practically hear the warbling in Izuku’s tone and the rougher edges in Katsuki’s!

(Also, question for the English sub while we’re at it, why the fuck does Katsuki sound like he’s a goddamned adult when he’s fourteen. What the fuck.)

Interesting little thing here, Katsuki not actually using his quirk here against Izuku; his hand is trailing smoke from his explosion, but it’s not a direct burn wound. Not that he should be doing this at all, but with the number of fics I see where Katsuki literally gives Izuku second or third degree burns, I think this is a reminder that canon Katsuki has some modicum of restraint, even this early.

Before I forget, hello winged kid who definitely has no plot significance whatsoever. No siree.

(If you are new to the manga/show and are reading this as among your first introductions to the fandom, first off, I am so sorry. Secondly, expect me to be… definitely making a lot of sarcastic quips to things in the future.)

Onto the second/third page, which is supposed to be a full spread, but is split up into two pages on the online reading site. RIP, but I will not complain about free access to the whole manga. 

Lookit this green bean. I love him so much. I can’t wait for him to suffer.

Izuku: wait, what?

Anyways, a few things to note:

Who the fuck is this guy? I looked into the wiki but he apparently doesn’t warrant a page or even a mention as one of the background faces of the series, but look at that fucking claw, man! And those boots and jets! He’s very obviously themed after a baseball catcher, so I’m going to guess that he has some kind of quirk that deals with either drawing projectiles to him, or perhaps in throwing projectiles… in either case, it’d be something like Snipe’s quirk, so maybe this is his less howdy-happy sibling.

Oh right, the chapter. The other heroes we see on the scene in this two-page spread are Death Arms, Air Jet, and Kamui Woods. 

Also, something I want to point out that I’m sure others have but just struck me while looking at this spread - multiple people are recording / taking pictures of this. I wonder if part of the reason for the villain industry to be as strong as it is is because the villains, even if they know they’ll lose, still get their own sort of fame in being in the news? That… might explain a lot about how there can be enough villains to even run an entire damn industry.

(Well, that and a lot of sociopolitical commentary on BNHA society, but we don’t need to get into that now. Maybe wait two hundred or so chapters first.)

Not gonna lie, I had to double take because I was like ‘wait, what is Ochako doing here?’ but then I realized it was just a random civilian; she doesn’t have those side bangs Ochako does. But now I almost wonder what sort of world we could have had, if they’d met a bit earlier.

Onto the fifth page (fourth is just a filler page, nothing on it), and we get treated to this gem:

Tag yourself I’m the guy who’s slackjawed because his kid is fucking glowing.

The first four examples of quirks shown in this flashback are the luminescence, telekinesis, ice, and that flame-headed(?) mutation. Of them, we actually see hints to the fact that quirks have drawbacks, as the girl with ice is drawn with the same frostbite backlash as Shouto, while the flame-headed kid is… well, I have no idea, but they do not look to be happy.

Also, I love the nod Hori does to the heroes of our era as silhouettes! This is just more evidence to me, along with the fact that the first quirked kid is born and presented in a modern hospital, that this series takes place sometime in the future. I… even calculated the years it could technically be, based on information we get in a few chapters, but I’ll save that for then.

Onto the sixth page! A nice shot of Kamui Woods getting into position, and man is that giant quirk unnerving.

What the fuck is with those feet, Hori. Those aren’t feet.

Next we see how the crowds are reacting, basically with no panic or concern. One guy is just casually letting his boss know he’ll be getting in late. And Backdraft! That is some serious water manipulation, but it seems like it has to be the water they’re in contact with? Also, is it just me or is that a portable pressure hose on their back?

And of course, Izuku being excited over hero stuff, as one does. He’s so babey faced, going back to current chapters after this is gonna be fucking wild.

Onto the seventh page, and here we are with the ‘you’re pure evil’ speech to someone who’s… just a robber. Seriously, dude? I get that you’re still fairly new to the scene (I think he might not be from a hero high school, but a late join program, but that’s another post), but like. You can’t just call random people ‘pure evil’ and correlate petty crime with like, actual mass murderers, or else people might start to see things in black and white and, you know, create the idea of ‘villainous people’ and so push even more innocents down the path of desperation and criminality.

Wait, sociopolitics later. Izuku being a hero fanboy now. Even able to utter Kamui’s attack call as he’s calling it out, with some seriously cool visual effects-

And on the eighth page, we have Mt. Lady crash the scene. Literally. She just fucking shows up outta nowhere and fucking leaps up and delivers a kick right to the villain’s chin, throwing him back through the train bridge wall and sending debris down to the ground below. Sure hope there weren’t civilians there!

Also, hello to that random guy on the roof watching this. I think in Smash they made that guy her manager or something.

I love how Izuku and the other guy are like ‘what the fuck’ while the press just shows up out of nowhere and is like. Hyperfocused on her. (I’ve heard some issues with the portrayal of media/reporters in the series, but since I have no experience with that sort of thing, I can’t say much on it.)

The last panel of this page shows that, fortunately, there were no civilians on that part of the street (even though it being rush hour and the huge crowds on the other side of the bridge should have suggested otherwise… but what do I know?)

With page nine, we get to see our first case of villain apprehension, which to note does not include any sort of quirk suppressors. Because those don’t exist. Otherwise Aizawa and the Eight Precepts’ erasure bullets would not be such huge deals to everyone. I mean yikes, though, the guy is fucking muzzled. And you can see the damage done by Mt. Lady in the background, both physical and emotional. Not to mention…

What the fuck is that face.

But yeah, this notes that performance in heroics determines not only what they’re paid by the government, but also how much fame they get. No way a system like this could backfire in any capacity, right? Right? (cough).

I love how Hori uses Izuku’s muttering habit as the border for the text bubble when the kid zones into his little world. Also, gigantification is noted to be a common and strong quirk, so we really should see more OCs with size altering quirks in fics in the future, you hear me? Honestly, with it being common, I would almost expect there to be entire buildings, or maybe even neighborhoods / blocks dedicated to catering to size shifters… wonder what those places look like.

Also aww, the guy saying good luck on the heroics dream to Izuku and Izuku just sparkling. What a cutie. Can’t wait for him to suffer. :D

Izuku: No seriously, what-

Anyways, I’m cutting off here since we then transition into the next ‘scene’ and this is a long chapter - 55 pages! Besides, this has already surpassed 1700 words, I don’t need to ramble on too long in one post. 

Lemme know what you think, and I’ll be back with more soon!

[mitchmarnier]

writing prompt masterlist #1

 Of course, there’s 75 million prompt lists out there but i figured there’s nothing wrong with making my own. Send me a category + a number + a pairing and i’ll write you a fic. Okay to reblog and use :) (x)

Fake/Secret/Etc Dating AUs:

my parents keep setting me up on blind dates but in reality I’m dating you and it’s so you help me get out of them

i hate commitment but my dad’s dying wish is to see me get married and you’re an old family friend i ran into at the airport on my way to visit him so hey let’s get engaged

you need a plus-one for your brother’s wedding so i’m going as a favor but there’s been a misunderstanding and now your whole family thinks we’re engaged

i’m mad at my parents so i ask you out because they wouldn’t approve of you and you’re well aware that i’m just using you but you agree because you find it funny but hey you’re actually super sweet

there’s this really creepy person hitting on me and i don’t know you but you pretending to be my partner completely saved my ass thanks how about i buy you a drink

we’re just really touchy friends and we get each other gifts all the time but everyone thinks we’re going out and we let them think that but why are you getting upset about me going on a date we’re not actually together? 

I’m sorry you always thought your love for me was unrequited but on to more important matters YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED IN THE MORNING SO YOU HAVE A DECISION TO MAKE YOU ASSHOLE!

Our mutual friend apparently has been waiting for us to get together and so they’re very angry/disappointed/upset when they find out that the reason we kissed last night was because we were black-out drunk

everyone thinks we hate each other and we keep that front up in public, so we have hilarious pretend fights and squabbles and pranks 

when we were little I accidentally mentioned that I had a crush on you but I always thought you didn’t hear me because you just looked at me weird and never commented but now we’re in high school and omg you just introduced me as your boyfriend/girlfriend/datemate wtf we never discussed this

friends to lovers aus

You’ve got a date tonight and you asked for advice on what to wear but I’m so in love with you and damn you look good in the outfit I picked out for you

You’ve liked me for ages and were really obvious about it and I didn’t like all the attention but now you’re over me I really miss it and fuck I think I like you too?

 You want us both to get in shape and I hate working out/running but your ass looks really good in shorts oh the things I do for my friends and their nice asses

Our best friends are that awful ‘cute’ couple that make-out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and “babe” and god they’re awful let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “shit we’re the awful couple now”

Celebrity/Famous AUs

listen, you may be a famous (and extremely attractive) guitarist, but that gives you no right to practise on the electric at two a.m when we live right next to each other.

We broke up and I used my feelings to write songs and now I’m super popular and you want me back

we decided to make a fake vlog drama for our subscribers and they all think it’s real but jokes on us we end up actually liking each other

I run a prank channel and you were some innocent bystander I pranked for a video but then it turns out hey, you’re also famous online haha shit

we met and started talking but i didn’t know you were a rising star until i noticed cameras following me wtf

you’re a reporter and i think you’re super cute so i’ll only give you personal interviews to help your career and also get you to talk to me more

I’m a celebrity and I have a secret social media account and we started talking online and now we’re close friends but you want to meet up oh shit

I’m a celebrity and I may or may not be following your blog which is dedicated to me. reading your comments and tags are hilarious and very flattering and I’m somewhat smitten  

You’re an actor/other famous person that I really admire and I just saw you in the street and as I was debating whether or not to say hi you came up to me and started flirting what do I do??

wedding/kids/marriage/long term relationship AUs

we’ve been dating forever, and you just caught the bouquet at our friend’s wedding

remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at 30 we’d marry each other, well hey guess whose birthday it is

i’m a runaway bride/groom and you’re driving my getaway car

I suddenly bumped into you after years and wow you look good but holy crap is that a kid?? since when?

you had a breakdown because the baby wouldn’t stop crying and you kept saying how you weren’t ready and how you couldn’t do it

whenever my kid starts crying I just hand them to you and then they just stop and start smiling

“i’m so sorry that my child pointed out how your shirt- actually nevermind i agree, that shirt is horrendous”

i always tease you because that’s just our thing we tease each other but for some reason you snapped at me and are you okay? what’s wrong?

my in-laws despise me GREAT but around you they’re super nice so you don’t believe me

neighbours AUs

You always complain about how loud I am (whether it be TV, video games or music/musical instrument is up to you) and this is the first time you’ve actually knocked on my apartment door and given me a lecture there rather than giving me a phone call, but I’m not really listening because I didn’t  realise I had such a cute neighbour

you never open your door for children on halloween so i always pay the kids to smear your door with shaving cream

my printer isnt printing anymore and my papers are due tomorrow so im on my knees in front of your door begging to use your printer when the old lady from above passes us and thinks im proposing to you

we always run into each other on the stairs but we’ve never said more than hello but when we found out that we both hate the other neighbours, we became friends

i came home drunk and wouldnt stop knocking on your door. when you open i keep telling you to get out of my apartment

after a rough party night i find you sleeping on the stairs but since im still a little asshole all i do is put a blanket over you and a pillow under your head

Please help me, I know you have a kid and my sibling just dropped their baby on me where’s the button to put them to sleep?

I’m stressed and sleep-deprived, please let me pet your cat. 

I have really weird dreams and you have really weird dreams so now we’re in this contest to see who has the weirdest dreams.

Strangers/Meet Cute (or meet very NOT cute) AUs 

We were sitting next to each other in a public place and I saw a mosquito on you and my instincts just acted before my mind.

We mixed up our clothes at the laundry service and I have nothing left to wear and every thing you wear is too big/small for me.

We’re at a comic book store and if you tell me your superhero is better than mine I’m gonna have to punch you in the teeth.

There are no table left at this restaurant and you let me sit at yours since you’re alone.

I’m a single grown-up with busy friends but I want to go to Disneyland so I drop a message on a forum to find someone like me to go wear silly Mickey ears headband and stuff ourselves with cotton candy.

My computer broke down so I called an IT and now I need to find a reason to call them back so I delete important files and download adwares and do all kinds of stupid things. 

I almost dropped something and in my fumbling attempts to stop it from hitting the floor I accidentally projectiled it at your face and it’s a really nice face I’m so sorry

first day at a new job and oh fuck my boss is the person I drunkenly hooked up with last weekend/night

I wanted to go on the ferris wheel but there has to be two people to a cart come on random person let’s go oh wait are we stuck at the top? Fuck

 Our mutual friend set us up on a blind date and I thought I’d hate it but you’re actually… kind of funny? But because I expected to hate it in no way am I going to let you change my mind just because you’re gorgeous and funny and intelligent oh no my friend is not winning this

college/high school AUs:

i went on a date with a boy who had plans to take me to dinner and drinks. but he lost his wallet at a pizza place so we just walked around the neighborhood, sat in the park and talked.

we’re in the same study group but we dont talk but you brought goldfish and im starving

we have the same notebook and we took the wrong ones home so i used your notes on my open book test

you were my elementary school crush but you moved away but somehow we end up miraculously going to the same college and i barely recognized you because holy hot damn you are more attractive than i remember?

I tripped over on my way to this party and I’m bleeding profusely from the grazes on my knees and you’re a complete stranger that pretty much jumped me the second I walked in the door to play nurse

ive had a crush on you for 3+ years and now youre going out with my best friend and i definitely havent locked myself in a toilet cubicle to cry

We’re in different debate classes and I was constructing a case on the board and I come in the next morning and you’ve replied to all my points really well?? But I don’t even know your name? And oh shit, we’re taking over the entire whiteboard, is that your phone number squeezed into the corner of the board there?

You have braces and I don’t and I keep forgetting you’re not allowed to have gum so every time I offer, you give this death glare

You sent me a text asking if I wanted to go to prom on the day of prom and I’m not in town

I’m a notorious goody two shoes and you look like you get into fights on a daily basis, so when you were in the library on the first day I was supposed to be a tutor, I assumed I’d be tutoring you. But, as it turns out, we’re both tutors, and the people we’re tutoring keep blowing us off to make out and we have to go round them up

we have a mutual best friend but they cannot find out how much i like you then they’ll tell you, but i need to find out if you’re single!

I sat down in the wrong class and I’m panicking but don’t want to get up and leave because the class has started and you think it’s hilarious 

You pissed me off in class so I threw a book at your head and now I’m in detention and jesus fuck I hate you so much and the teacher made me apologise and wait you’re cuter up close

soulmate aus

if one soulmate gets an injury, the other gets it as well.

Character A has a soulmate, but Character A died before they got to meet them. As Character A navigates the afterlife in their ghostly form, they discover that they can’t “move on” until they’ve met their soulmate.

 the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born

when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever, it will show up on your soul mates skin as well.

You get an ‘impression’ of your soulmate when you turn 18 or something but all I got was a strong smell of bananas or something

you have a compass on your wrist and it directs you to where your soulmate is

i usually think i’m having a conversation with myself in my head but it turns out we’re telepathically connected

everybody is born with a map “tattooed” on their forearm that’s centered on the exact location of where they’ll first meet their soul mate 

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LIII

It was a love story from the very beginning.

Because You Cheated On Me

(10x05/10x07)

Hello my friends! Here I'm with another meta from this series.

This time I'm gonna share with you something I discovered in this early season.

I want to say thanks to my dearest friend @agusvedder who made the gifs for this meta. Love ya gorgeous 💕

Wincest: NO! Destiel: ...

Episode 10x05 Fan Fiction was dedicated to the fans. We can see a lot of fan service, (the quote "We have work to do" as the Winchester loved cliche, but it also connects with season 15, in which we heard it again, delivering us a huge parallel with what is going on in the last season, I will talk later of this) but also, we can see Dean's reaction to the ships.

Her is Dean and the audience (mostly GA) who don't see subtext or ships, but is Rejecting it right away. Because they're brothers. And is disgusting to think they're searching for something else between them, so... Dean requested them to get away from each other.

A different reaction we can see I'm Dean )or may I say Jensen?) When Marie suggests DESTIEL ship, and explains the subtext to him.

He doesn't asked to be apart, and one little detail, the two girls were dating in real life (winking at Cockles shippers).

And the precious relevance to SUBTEXT in the show, when we are talking about Dean and Cas.

Dean will end by accepting it, and embracing it...

DEAN : Yeah, that'd have been easier. I know I have expressed some differences of opinion, regarding this particular version of Supernatural. But tonight, it is all about Marie's vision. This is Marie's Supernatural. So, I want you to get out there, and I want you to stand as close as she wants you to, and I want you to put as much sub and add text, as you possibly can. There is no other road. No other way. No day, but today.

Marie's supernatural, the Fan's Supernatural, it transport me to Becky in episode 15x04. Writing her own ending and her own stories...

Marie, not accepting the end Chuck had written, she chooses to write her own ending. And that's, what I think, the huge parallel with season 15.

The Winchesters, TFW 2.0, can write their own ending. Their own destiny.

But don't forget this is a Destiel Meta, and I can't avoid the fact that while Dean was talking about subtext here, he was putting Castiel's tie upside down. That's very meaningful because... Dean knows how Cas wears his tie... And is something he had payed attention... Is part of his Castiel, and maybe something he find adorable on him.

Yes... Subtext...

Another quote that brings us to season 15 is the two girls acting like Sam and Dean, saying...

SIOBHAN!DEAN : You're right, Sammy. Out on the road. Just the two of us.

MARIE!SAM : The two of us against the world.

First episode in season 15, Dean said the same quote. So, there's a tight recalling to this episode, in which Chuck appears at the end too.

The message is... We write our own destiny and ending.

Jealous and Revenge

Now... We all laughed with this scene...

But what this means...?

If you recall the last episode from this season... Sam and Cas team up and Dean didn't know it. They were cheating on Dean. Sastiel and Destiel.

This is not the only clue among the season, and you will discover it with me though these metas.

But now... I want to talk about Castiel's speech from my previous meta : THERE'S A FEMALE ON MY CAR and Dean's puzzled and frowned face... Jealous.

Because... What happened at the beginning of episode 10x07, Girls, Girls, Girls... It has to do with that.

What I call REVENGE from Dean Winchesters feeling himself abandoned and deceived, and cheated by Castiel... Was he with a woman in his car??? What about me? Does he changed me for her?

So... Very OOC... Dean Winchester tried to hook up with a date app...

SAM: Shaylene, huh?

Dean, there are like a million messages here.

DEAN: Yeah, uh, check out her pic.

SAM: Uh...Oh. Wow. Okay.

[Camera view of phone shows a beautiful woman with dark hair in a blue dress]

Um, okay. She's hot. But...

DEAN: "But," what?

SAM: But she seems, um... Kind of...available. Like too available. "Oh, baby, whatever you want. I'm burning up just thinking about you."

Okay, if you rewatch the whole scene, Sam is mocking him, because is clear here Dean doesn't use to do this. Dean doesn't use date apps to get a woman. Then, why is he doing this?

Because he is acting now like a jiltter lover (oh, wait... Is another parallel with Human!Cas in episode 9x06 😏)

And because the subtext has to be well constructed here, it jumps to Cas and Hannah (the female in Castiel's car) doing this...

Is she "Kind of avaible. Like too avaible?"

Yes she is...

And because this season we will talk about romantic betrayal (CAS cheating on Dean with Hannah and Sam) we have a foreshadow with Hannah's vessel and the husband.

And Castiel excusing Hannah's behavior... Because...

The mission comes first DEAN WINCHESTER COMES FIRST, will echoing one of the quotes by the end of the season in which Sam, Cas and Charlie will do anything to save him from the mark, even if that means not telling him (cheating on him) FOR DEAN.

To Conclude:

Episode 5x05 brings us to season 15 and Chuck's drama. TFW must learn they can write their own destiny and ending.

Dean using a dates app is so ooc that hurts, but it has his cause on Castiel's female in his car, so Dean is absolutely acting like a jitter lover.

Foreshadowing too the Sastiel team, hiding Dean his plans to save him.

Hope you like this meta, see you in the next one!

Tagging @metafest @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @foxyroxe-art @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @wildligia @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-is--endgame @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @tenshilover20 @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @shippsblog

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas From season 10, here you have the links...

Vol. LI and Vol. LII

Buenos Aires, March 15 2020 03:04 PM

[miki-snake]

A/N: This is nothing but a stupid crack fic (no x reader) that shouldn’t be taken seriously, dedicated to @drabblily​ and @visaintes​! Actually, I had quite some fun writing it and it came out of an impulse of wanting to write smth for the both of you. Thank you for making me laugh and here is smth stupid for you two to read, hope you can enjoy it ahdahjfaf also it was really weird to put my own name in it but i didn't want to use a random name;;

Chicago was buzzing with the streets full of people passing by and the street lights flickering above the stores. The sky was cloudy, looking like the next free shower might not be too far away. Luckily, Vi catched her train and it seemed like she might have enough time to reach her destination before the rain would start pouring down on her. Her heart was beating heavily inside of her chest, though not from running but from the nervousness she felt. Honestly, she wanted to turn around and go back to her room so she could rest on her bed, silently reading the new book she bought yesterday. It was all so stupid really, why was she doing this? What did Lily think when she wanted Vi to come with her.

She arrived at the agreed spot, a rather small restaurant that was mostly known by the locals and less by the tourists.

It had a nice flare, more on the modern side but the cushioned seats and wooden interior made it seem quite comfortable. Looking around the room Vi couldn’t see the familiar brunette, only one or two couples sitting at a table and some older men sitting at the bar near the entrance. A blonde young woman came up to the front door where she was currently waiting. 

“Hello, can I help you? Did you reserve a table?”, the waitress, Ally the name tag said, asked her. “Oh, yeah I had a table for four? But I think one of my friends is already here. So,...”, right in that moment the door in the back opened and she could spot her 5’2ft friend coming out of it. 

“There she is.”, Vi told her and pointed right at the girl, who was walking straight at the both of them. “Alright.”, Ally replied and stepped aside, so Vi could walk over to her friend. Nearly reaching her, Vi could clearly see how Lily tripped and almost fell face first on the ground. It was hard to not just straight up laugh at the scene but Vi contained herself 'cause she didn't want to catch too much attention of the other customers. A small chuckle did escape her lips though and Lily just shot her a friendly glare, straightening up again.

"Finally you're here, what took you so long?” Lily asked her as the two of them hugged each other as a greeting. “I told you that I had college today, just be glad that I catched the train or else you would’ve been alone with those two guys.”, Vi replied, thinking about how mad Lily would’ve been if she’d bailed on her at the last minute. The two of them were supposed to meet up with guys, actually two friends of their friend Miki. 

Guess, it was their fault for complaining to her, especially Vi, who always jokes about wanting to get dicked down after one of their thirst nights. “So, care to explain who we’re actually meeting and why we’re doing this again?” It was not like Vi wasn’t a bit excited, Miki wouldn’t push them to meet the guys if they weren’t at least decently looking with nice personalities but still, the outcome of tonight might be questionable. “Stop complaining we’ve talked about it many times now and we’ve promised Miki to go through with it at least for an hour or so.” Lily and Vi moved over to their table, which was situated at the back of the restaurant, two chairs and a cushioned bench. Even though it looked quite modern, the kitchen specialized in traditional japanese cuisine but some dishes had a american twist here and there.“

Who had the idea to come here? I live in Chicago and I didn’t even know this place existed.”, Vi asked her friend, who was already looking through the menu. “It was the suggestion of one of the guys that we’re going to meet soon. Apparently he visited Chicago many times already and on one of his visits he found this little store. I’m not mad though, it does seem quite nice.” Lily replied and Vi had to agree, it seemed quite comfortable and even if the guys turn out to be not that good, she might as well have a nice meal. “Alright I’m gonna go to the bathroom before the other two are arriving.” Vi said as she slipped out of the booth and Lily couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, just look twice if you’ve locked the door.” That’s when both of them broke out in laughter, remembering the panicked words Vi texted in their group chat as a woman opened the door when she just took a dump.

___

Sitting alone at the table, Lily wondered when the two guys would turn up. She knew that her friend wouldn’t introduce them to someone so carelessly but there was still a bit of a risk there. What if they did look good but were assholes? No one needs that in their life. Actually, she was really relieved that Vi didn’t leave her hanging. For a short time she was pretty anxious because her friend wasn’t there yet but the moment she saw Vi walking through the door, a stone fell off of her chest. She opened her phone to check the time, it was currently 6.50 pm and they were supposed to meet up at 7, so a little time was still left. A new message popped up at the top of the screen and with a click her chat with Miki opened.

Miki: Are they there yet?

Lily: No, but they still got some time left so dw. It’s still a bit strange tho, you met those guys before right?

Miki: Yeah! Why else would I want to introduce them to you two? Those guys are just great and believe me when I say that you guys will like them😼👍🏼

Lily wanted to text back but a rather loud voice startled her, making her look up from the  phone. When she met the face of the person, who just surprised her, she swore she forgot how to breathe for a second. The boy that was standing right in front of her table was just gorgeous. He had spiked up hair with dark roots and light grey frosted tips. His eyes were shining brightly in a golden hue and his smile was as bright as the sun itself. He was rather tall but that was nothing compared to his bulky statue, the grey shirt he was wearing nearly bursting from the impressive muscles he had. He wore a simple pair of black jeans to his shirt and from what she saw, she could already tell he had a great ass. Damn, what was this fine piece of man doing here, standing right in front of her when she was supposed to meet two random guys her friend wanted to introduce to her. 

“Sorry uhm, are you Lily?” The handsome guy in front of her asked chuckling and Lily realized that she was just blatantly staring at him without saying a word. Shaking her head a bit she tried to get back her composure and smiled back at him. “Yeah I’m Lily.” She answered without wondering how the hell that guy knew her name. “Oh great! I thought I was lost for a second ‘cause I didn’t know where you’d sit and when I asked the waitress just told me to look here in the back.”, his voice was loud but not annoying, just loud enough to show how excited or energetic he was and honestly she liked his voice quite a bit.

“So, my friend who was also supposed to come went to the toilet so I’m just gonna introduce myself first.”, the still nameless boy said before he stretched out his hand for her to take it. 

“I’m Bokuto, Bokuto Koutaro! I’m currently training to get into the first V-League in Japan and I’m pretty confident that they’re gonna scout me soon.”, he told her with a self-assured smile. Normally she didn’t think that highly of guys who thought so much of themselves, though somehow he didn’t seem like just some big talker with nothing to back up his words but she truly believed what he told her, she’d probably even cheer for him. 

“Oh wow, that’s impressive! Well, I wish you all the best and also nice to meet you Bokuto.”, she took his hand, shook it and that’s when she registered that this guy could actually be the person she was expecting to meet tonight. Well, he did talk about how he searched for her and he had a friend with him and also, he already knew her name. While Lily was still trying to comprehend the situation, Bokuto sat himself down on the seat in front of her and already started to talk about something, asking her questions to get to know her. How the hell was she supposed to survive this without constantly staring at the person in front of her. 

____

Vi pushed the door of the bathroom, but instead of it smoothly opening up, the door abruptly stopped and a low groan could be heard behind the door. Rushing outside Vi could see a young man standing behind the door, one hand holding the door and the other holding his nose, face scrunched up in pain. “Oh my god, sorry!”, Vi exclaimed as she closed the door and moved to the person in pain. He shook his head and lowered his hand from his face. She nearly stopped in her tracks looking at the soft and yet sharp features of the guy in front of her. He… was just beautiful. How can someone like him exist? It’s like he just came out of one the animes she always loved to watch. 

“It’s all good.”, he told her and oh god, his voice was so smooth, just like silk. “Uhm, are you sure?”, she asked again because she felt guilty for slapping his pretty face with the door. “It’s fine really, no need to worry.”, he chuckled as he looked at her and Vi suddenly felt exposed to his eyes. Well, if he was looking then she could take a peek at him too right? He wore black turtleneck with a light brown coat hanging loosely around his shoulders, combined with a pair of light blue jeans, but what really got your attention were his ocean blue crystal like eyes. A light cough brought her back to reality and she could see a light red flush on his cheekbones as he tried to avert his gaze.

“I’m sorry but I have to go, please try to avoid hitting someone with a door again okay?”, he teased her and she did feel a bit disappointed that he had to leave but that’s when her brain reminded her that she was also here to meet someone. “No promises but I’ll try.”, Vi said and moved to go back to her table. 

As she approached her table she could already make out one guy sitting at the table with Lily and the both of them seemed to be quite invested in each other. Weren’t there supposed to be two? Well, maybe he was also on the toilet, Vi shrugged it off and continued walking.

“Hey, hey, hey!”, the actually quite cute boy in front of Lily exclaimed as he saw her getting closer. “Look who finally came back from the toilet. Come on Akaashi, don’t leave us waiting any longer!”, as he said that Vi turned around and there he was, the same guy she shoved a door in the face was standing there.

The Akaashi guy just gave her a small smile and looked over to the loud guy, “Don’t be so loud Bokuto, you don’t want to disturb the other people here, do you?”, Akaashi teasingly scolded Bokuto and Vi just stood there and watched the scene unfold in front of her. She wanted to run away, far away.

“Finally we’re complete! Bokuto that’s Vi and Vi that’s Bokuto, the other half of the two we were supposed to meet and I see, you met Akaashi already.”

Lily spoke up, a little smirk sitting on her lips. 

Ignoring the implication Lily made there, Vi just greeted Bokuto and introduced herself once again, as she slipped into the booth with Lily. Akaashi sat down in front of her and before anyone could say anything the waitress came to ask for their orders. “Sorry but we still need a bit of time to look for the food but maybe we could start with the drinks? I’d take a glass of water please.”, Akaashi told the waitress and then looked at Vi to continue.

“Oh, for me a glass of water too please.”, Vi said and instantly Akaashi spoke up again, “How about we just get a bottle of water? We could get two glasses and that’s probably more convenient.”, Vi just nodded her head, smiling at his attentiveness. 

Next one was Bokuto, “I think I’ll get lemon ice tea, oh wait maybe peach? Hmm, you know what I’ll settle with raspberry.”, he happily announced and Akaashi just let out a small laugh and shook his head.

“Well, I would like to get a mango smoothie, thank you.” Lily said and Bokuto's eyes seem to sparkle even more. “Mango smoothie sounds great! Wait, can I change my order to that please?”, he excitedly asked the waitress and his smile was so innocent, no one could be mad at him. The waitress repeated the orders and when everything was checked, she left to get the drinks. 

So, now it was time for them to take a look at all the food they had. The menu was very broad and a lot of the Japanese cuisine was listed on it. Lily was pretty sure though that she’d take some ramen, it’s her favorite after all, but the sushi looked damn good in this restaurant. “Do you already know what you want to eat?”, Bokuto’s voice came up behind the menu. He looked expectantly at her and it was crazy how she’d always had to smile when she looked at him. She didn’t know if it was because he was really happy today, but somehow she felt like he could radiate this happiness all the time.

“Yeah not completely, I really want to get some ramen but the sushi also looks pretty good but I don’t think I could eat one bowl of Ramen and a whole set of sushi.”, for one minute Bokuto looked like a confused puppy, thinking about what she just said and it was so adorable, she was really tempted to pat him.

“How about you get your ramen and if you want some of my sushi, I’ll gladly give you some pieces. That way you don’t need to buy any extra sushi but still get to taste some.”, he smiled proudly at her, probably impressed by himself that he got that idea. Lily had to chuckle, he was such a big guy, if he wanted he could fling you right across the room but he was actually nothing but a hot sweetheart. “But I don’t want to eat your food away!” Lily remarked because she didn’t want to come off as someone who would just feed off of others, but well that’s probably just her thinking too much again. Bokuto laughed at what she just said, but not just a small one but a full hearted laugh. “Don’t worry, I order a lot anyway!”, he said, trying to convince her that they should go with the way he suggested.

While those two continued their rather loud conversation, the other half of the table were still looking silently through the menu. Looking up from the menu Vi caught Akaashi already watching her and the two of them let out a small laugh. “So, it was your idea to choose this restaurant? I have to say it’s really nice but even though I live here I’ve never heard of it. How did you find it?”, Vi asked him to try and spark a conversation. “Well, I did an apprenticeship here in Chicago for college one year ago and made some friends here. Since then I visited Chicago quite often and the place I worked at was right down the street, so my colleagues and I came here sometimes after work to take a bite.”, he explained to her and it was like she was hypnotized by him, hanging on every word that passed his lips. 

“What did you do?”, she had the urge to know more about him, about this crazy good looking piece of man. “It was a small publishing company and I worked there as an editor for half a year.”, he replied to her. Editor? So not only was he charismatic, kind and a beauty but also a fan of literature? Bingo.“Did you decide on something to eat already?” Akaashi asked her suddenly and she nearly forgot about the fact that they still needed to order. “I think I’ll take some sushi but they just have such a big selection I’m not sure what to get.” And it was true, the menu was huge, ranging from simple to the most special looking sushi. “How about we both order different things and share?”

Akaashi suggested it to her and she had to smile because once again he was being attentive. “Sure, I’d like that.”, she answered and both of them smiled at each other.

Right before the waitress came back both of the girls phones vibrated and they took a glance at the message they both just received.

Miki: I can already see the thirst night coming about those stupidly good looking gentemens. yw. 

[bandsconcertsfood]

Neglect  Winchesters X Sister!Reader

Summary: Ignored by her brothers, Reader is tired of the hunting life, of life in general. She overdoses in her room while her brothers are out on a hunt. Once they return they expect to find dinner ready but all they find is Billy.

Word Count: 1,837

Warning: Suicide, neglect, rape

Third Person POV Y/N was just so tired of everything. She wasn't as courageous as her older brother Dean or as smart as her twin Sam, at least that was what she thought. She was just there. She was always there just in the shadows, always in the motel rooms and sometimes even forgotten in some small town. Now that they've got a bunker she's always inside. She doesn't remember the last time she left the bunker. No one but Castiel and Bobby knew her personally. Others like Kevin and Crowley just knew her as a name, nothing more. Now that it was just the 3 Winchesters living in the Bunker, she felt even more alone. She'd cook them dinner when they'd get back from hunts, they'd occasionally say thanks but for them it was just them and then her. They cared for her of course but they just sometimes forgot of her existence. Or they assumed she didn't want to tag along. They assumed because of the trauma they've lived that she chose to go mute. She didn't, they just didn't bother listening. During Sam's college days she had moved out, nobody noticed of course but once Sam was back on the job Bobby had called her and forced her to be with her brothers again. The angels knew about her, they felt bad, even the ones like Uriel and Zachariah, they all felt so bad they chose to not involve her in the business, they had been protecting her. She always had an angel watching over her. However, now that the angels are dying she's alone again.

Y/N was sitting on her bed reading War and Peace when she decided today was the day, she knew her brothers would be back in a few hours so she had to do it now. She walked over to her drawer and took out the mix of pills she's collected over the past few months. She was so dedicated that she just took them and decided to lay down. She didn't even cry or feel like she'd miss her brothers. Eventually she wakes up and is surprised Billy is there. "Billy?" She asked confused. "You killed yourself? You really are a Winchester" Billy says as she looks around and frowns, sensing something wasn't right. "Can I ask a question?" "I can't promise an answer" "Do you think they could have loved me," Y/N asked, Billy immedietly knew that Y/N was neglected, and not just now but her entire life. "You were always my favorite Winchester, Y/N. Are you sure you want to do this? I can knock some sense into those boys and change everything" She says gently, "let's go" was Y/N's only respond.

Dean's P.O.V Sam and I walked into the Bunker, tired after killing Vampires, expecting the smell of food or at least Y/N's music playing, meaning she was cooking. All we got was an eerie silence once I had shut the door. "Where's the food?" Sam asked as we put our stuff down and then walked to the War room. "What if she went grocery shopping?" I suggested casually but right away we couldn't help but start laughing, our sister was way to antisocial and lazy to even leave the bunker. We decided to check her room, just in case she died or something. Once we entered, we saw Billy, or Death, "boys, did you know Y/N had read the Mortal Instruments series over 5 times the past year alone" Billy asked as she looked through a book. Wow, Y/N had a huge book collection. "What did you do to our sister?" Sam asked, surprisingly worried. "She's happy now." "What did you do to her?" I asked, now getting anxious. "I want you to see her memories," Billy states as she clicks her fingers.

We were in a motel room. Sam and Y/N looked about 7 years old. "What?" Sam asked completely lost. "This is one of her favorite and happiest memories. Quite sad really. Do you know why it's a favorite?" Billy asked as she sat down on the bed. I decided to look around, Y/N was reading The House of Mirth, at a very young age she was already reading big chapter books. 11 year old me had just walked into the motel room, "I brought presents" he said. I smiled, I did always try my best with taking care of them. I look around and noticed there were only 2 dirty plates in the sink, I must have not ate to make sure they had eaten well. I noticed that Y/N frowned. "Here you go Sammy" I said as I handed Sam 3 presents that I had clearly stolen from a random house, "what about her," Sammy asked as he turned to his twin. I looked at now Sam and he frowned, remembering this night. "Oh yeah" young me whispered and started digging through his pockets. "Hey y/n, I brought you this" young Dean said as he threw a semi melted Snickers bar to the small Y/N who smiled widely as she put her book down, "thank you" is all she whispered as she ate happily. I started to tear up. "This was the 1st time Dean had given Y/N a present for Christmas, this was also the first time in 2 weeks she had something other than water" Billy said as she got up. "What kind of sick joke is this" Billy only clicked her fingers again.

The day Bobby had brought Y/N to our motel room. "Boys, keep your sister with you," Bobby said as they walked in, she looked like she had been crying. "This is one of her worst memories, want to guess why?" "Obviously because she was forced back into hunting" Sam said in a very confident tone, knowing Y/N had also wanted to leave the life, and did once Sam left for college. Dad never bothered checking in on her. Y/N had pulled Bobby to the side, this was by the time she had gone mute. "Bobby, I don't want to be with them, please don't make me stay. I was a good hunter with Rufus, I had a good life, don't do this" she begs him, her voice, I had completely forgotten what she sounded like, "Y/N was a good hunter with Rufus but once the Winchester boys were reunited Bobby wanted Y/N to be with you. This is a bad memory not because of hunting but because she knew she'd go back to being forgotten and ignored" Billy said as she walked out of the motel, we followed behind. She clicked her fingers again.

We were back in the bunker, "are you done" Sam asked as I noticed there were tear stains on his face. "Cassie!!" I heard a sweet melodic voice, was it Y/N? She walks into the library and started dancing, that's when I noticed there was music, Y/N always listened to Rock, it was her favorite but right now she was listening to the Mulan soundtrack, she never listened to Disney but right now she was singing along as if she'd done it before. "Cassie" She calls out again. A few seconds later Castiel appeared. "I brought you a book," he tells her as he hands her Fahrenheit 451, "you know you don't have to bring me a book every week" she giggles out, still accepting the book and hugging him. "Let's dance" she asked him, "Castiel never made her feel unwanted" Billy says as she sits in a seat. "Can you stop" I asked, not wanting to see this anymore. "Dean keeps calling me for help" Cass informed Y/N, she looked sad right away, "right, okay, go then" she says and goes to turn off her music but Castiel stops her. "He can wait".

Now, I don't know where we are. "I remember this night, please Billy, don't make us see this" Sam begs Billy, I look at him confused. It was a motel, I couldn't remember though. I look around and Sam and I are watching a movie, he looks about 16, which made me 20. Why can't I remember this night? That's when the door slams open and my little sister walked in, her clothes ripped, she's been crying and she's limping. What happened. "You could've picked up the phone" she whispers at us, we don't even look at her, just chatting and watching the movie. I remember, we had been called to the hospital the day after to pick her up but dad had made us leave, said he'd pick her up in a week. I never figured out what had happened. She walks over to her bed and we turn to her. "This is by far her worst, she had to endure the pain, all by herself." Billy sighs as she looks at Y/N with sympathy. 16 year old Y/N had taken off her clothes, not even caring that we were in the room, now Sam and I avert our eyes and look at each other, Sam was crying, what happened. "Look" Billy demands sternly and forces us to see. There was my little sister in a white towel but there was blood running down her legs, she walked to her small bag and got out clothes and walked into the restroom, I could hear her sobbing. "Hello? Bobby, I need help" she sobs on the other side of the door. "I called Sam and Dean but as I just got to the motel they've been watching movies. I called John, I told him what happened and he blamed me. Bobby, some old man raped me outside the library" she sobbed out. "He held me at gunpoint, I need to go to the hospital, what if I get pregnant? I'm scared dad" we heard a thump, she had dropped her phone. "Bobby was too far out, other side of the country, she had to walk to the hospital all by herself. She had to deal with the rape kit, the police, everything, all by herself. John felt she needed to be punished. In case you didn't figure it out, this was the day you assumed she had gone mute" Billy admits, and finally we're back in Y/N's room.

Y/N was on the bed, sleeping. "This is when she finally was at peace." I noticed the bottle, there was no label. Is she sleeping. "I gave her body to Castiel, we burned her before you got here. He felt you didn't deserve to be there." Billy says and pats my back as I cry. That's when my little sister's lifeless body disappeared. Sam fell to his knees and started sobbing. How could we just ignore her like that? "It was always just Sam and Dean against the world right? Imagine being the forgotten Winchester, she was strong for lasting as long as she did" is all Billy says before she disappeared. Leaving Sam and I alone in our sister's room. A sister that we didn't even get to say goodbye to.

[mxliv-oftheendless]

The Mysterious Disappearance of Heather McMann: Q+A

Oh, what’s this? Why, it’s only the sequel to Heather’s Buzzfeed Unsolved episode! So if you’ll recall, last time we checked in on the Ghoul Boys Heather got her own Buzzfeed Unsolved episode (that’s the link to it right there). So one thing Ryan and Shane do after every episode is a Q+A session called the Postmortem, where they answer any questions and respond to any theories viewers may have. So naturally, I wanted to do a follow-up where questions about Heather were answered! Special thanks to @cosmicrealmofkissteria @ashestoashesvvi and @retronova for sending in questions and theories! Oh yeah, and you’ll want to stick around for the ending... ;)

Also: IT’S @ashestoashesvvi‘s BIRTHDAY!!! So in celebration, I officially dedicate this story to Ash as a birthday gift. Hope you enjoy!!! 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The camera opens on Ryan and Shane who are sitting at their postmortem desk. Shane is on the left while Ryan is on our right.

“Hello and welcome to another addition of Buzzfeed Unsolved: Postmortem, a show where we answer your most pressing questions about the most recent episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved, which was Heather McMann.” As Ryan says her name, the camera cuts away to stock footage of a foot lying on a mortuary table, with the tag tied to its toe reading: POSTMORTEM: HEATHER MCMANN. Ryan continues as the camera cuts back to the two.

“All the questions we’re answering today came from you guys via our Buzzfeed Unsolved Facebook page and our Buzzfeed Unsolved Instagram page, as well as the video itself…”

“On BUN!” Shane joins in on saying this, while below them is the link: youtube.com/BuzzFeedUnsolvedNetwork. 

“Now this was a very interesting episode,” Ryan says as they pull out their phones. “I’m really interested to hear what people have to say. Especially because, as my research revealed, the KISS Army is very opinionated about some things.”

“Like what?” Shane asks interestedly.

“Uh… there’s this whole thing about how the current lead guitarist doesn’t deserve to wear the Spaceman makeup because he’s not the original Spaceman. Also apparently Paul Stanley is lip syncing because his voice is so horrible nowadays… their words, not mine.”

“Huh. Weird. I mean, in any fanbase, you’re bound to have opinionated people. It doesn’t mean they’re right, just…”

“Yeah. I have looked up footage of their most recent concerts, and Paul Stanley sounds fine. Like, for the record, I don’t think he’s lip syncing. Maybe his voice is just not what it used to be because of age.”

“Yeah,” Shane chuckles, “there is such a thing as the passage of time,”

Ryan snickers. “Exactly. Okay, let’s open up with this question from Gramtown…”

“Good ol’ Gramtown!” 

“This is from Ashes7Moria: #postmortem Heather McMann vanished and has been hanging out with Vinnie Vincent for the past 20 years. I’d love to know what exactly both of them have been up to. 👀👀👀” Ryan looks up at the camera. “Good theory… Actually this could very well be true because I don’t exactly know what Vinnie Vincent is up to, or even where he is now.” 

“How can you not know that?”

“Because he disappeared out of the public eye in the nineties. I think it was after a KISS Expo…”

“KISS has expos?”

“KISS has a lot of things, actually. But yeah, it was after a KISS Expo, and he just dropped off the Earth never to be seen again.”

“So yeah, this could be true.”

“Yeah, it could. It could also be not true. But who knows.”

Shane shrugs. “Who knows?”

“Also, good use of the emoji side eyes.”

Shane snickers. “I don’t think they’re having sex, though.” Ryan and Shane laugh.

“Oh my god, Shane,” Ryan snickers. “Good question, Ashes7Moria. Onto our next one. Shane?”

Shane looks down at his phone. “This one comes from YouTube, from r0cketr1de, with a zero and a one, who says: For the post mortem: Could KISS be covering up something terrible that she did? Her stage name WAS Black Dahlia. Maybe she started taking it too literally. #shaniac #loveyoutooryan” He looks up smiling at Ryan. “I swear I didn’t put that in there.”

“No, but you did totally pick that question just to poke fun at me.” Ryan sighs. “Anyway, that question…”

“That’s… wow. That’s pretty interesting.”

“It is a pretty interesting theory. We did make the connection of Black Dahlia in the video, if you’ll recall…”

The camera cuts away to the video footage:

did she have an onstage persona?

yeah, she did. hers was the Black Dahlia.

nice. reminds me of the murder.

it probably reminded a lot of people of the murder

Shane says, “It could be possible she had a little, ah, slip in her mental stability and just started killin’ a bunch of people.”

“I—” Ryan bursts out laughing. “Jesus Christ, man…”

“Hey, it’s possible!”

“I don’t think it’s possible. From what I could gather, Heather McMann doesn’t fit the profile of a would-be psychopath. And even if she was, she’s not someone like George Hodel.”

“Who knows, Ryan,” Shane smirks at him. “Maybe she was the one who really killed Elizabeth Short, and took on the name Black Dahlia as a little fun trademark.”

“That would only be possible if she was born in the early twentieth century, which she wasn’t. She’s not immortal.”

“Well some people on the Internet seem to think she is,” Shane laughs.

Ryan sighs and shakes his head, then turns back to the camera. “But anyway, yeah, I don’t think that’s possible. That’s a fun theory though…”

“Like something from a Holly Horsely novel.”

“Oh yeah, we haven’t heard from her in a while!” Ryan exclaims. “I’ve actually missed her short stories!”

Shane points at the camera. “Holly, if you’re doing all right, let us know. We’d love to hear from you again.”

“Okay, next question. This one comes from Instagram, from phantomofthepark, who says: I still think she was only around with the band cause she slept her way in and they tossed her out when she was all used up.”

The background music stops. Ryan and Shane look at each other, then at the camera.

“Well that’s bullshit,” Shane says.

“Yeah, that’s pretty bullshit. She was a very good player. There’s concert footage of her playing with the band.”

“This just sounds like he’s trying to find a reason that makes sense to him as to why a woman would be playing rock music.”

“It really does.”

“Rolling Stone guy who said this was the end of KISS? Is that you?”

Ryan laughs. “Oh my god, what if it is?”

“If it is… who’s laughing now?” Shane shrugs, grinning at the camera. “They’ve been around for almost fifty years. Get rekt, sir.”

“Also, you’re wrong. Women can play rock music. Have you ever heard of Joan Jett?”

“Oh, I love me some Joan Jett!”

“Yeah, you’re also disregarding all the stuff I said about Paul Stanley wanting her to stay. He wanted her to stay in the band—all of them did, actually—so it doesn’t make sense for them to, as you say, toss her out when she was all used up.”

“Yeah. This is a dumb theory. I’m ruling this out.”

“Yeah, this theory is ruled out. Next question.”

Shane looks down at his phone. “Let’s get a question from Facebook, from Shandi Strutter, who says: For the postmortem: Have you ever wondered if Heather might be dead? There’s no evidence to prove that she isn’t, especially if no one has heard from her since she disappeared and she hasn’t been found. #postmortem #boogara #ghostsarerealfyoushane.”

“Okay,” Shane laughs. “We’re even now. Are you proud of yourself?”

Ryan grins at him. “Yes, very proud.” He looks back at the camera. “To answer your question, Shandi…”

“Which by the way is a great name. I’d name my future kid Shandi.”

“It’s from a KISS song, actually.”

“Oh, sweet!”

“Anyway, that is a very good question. It did cross my mind that maybe Heather was murdered. Actually, it was going to be one of the theories that ended up in the video. But when I tried to find evidence of this theory being legitimate, because I try to make most of my theories legitimate, all I could find were a few tabloid magazines with miniscule articles about it. By the time the articles were written, Heather was already out of the public eye for some time.”

“I mean, have they ever talked about Heather in the past tense?”

“Who, KISS?”

“Yeah, KISS. Like Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, have they ever talked about her in the past tense?”

“I mean, they have…” Ryan looks up at the camera. “This case is a really weird one because it’s the early 80s, everyone’s looking at KISS to see what quote-unquote “mistake” they’ll make next, so there’s going to be a lot of gossip magazines circulating rumors. You have to take a lot of the information surrounding this case with a grain of salt. Also because no body was found, we can’t safely say that she was murdered.”

“We also can’t safely say she wasn’t.” Shane points out.

“That too. Good question.”

“Alright, onto our last question of the day before we get to the Hot Daga!”

Ryan visibly rolls his eyes and audibly sighs, then looks down at his phone. “This is from Gramtown, from…” he reads the name and wheezes in laughter. “… from thayerfucker69.”

Shane starts to laugh. “thayerfucker69… I love that.”

“thayerfucker69 says: #postmortem Let’s say KISS actually are intergalactic beings with superpowers. I’ve heard Paul can predict the future, like something with his eye. What if the song Detroit Rock City was prediction? What if she was killed there and the band somehow knew something was going to happen, even before she joined?”

Shane grins in amusement as Ryan reads. “I mean…” he says when Ryan finishes, “that is a pretty interesting idea.”

“I mean you are taking into consideration an Internet theory perpetuated, probably by the same people who religiously watch Ancient Aliens.”

“Surprised you’re not a member of that crowd, Ryan,”

“I don’t watch Ancient Aliens!”

“I don’t believe that.”

“I—hey, fuck you, man.”

Shane laughs.

“Anyway…” Ryan turns back to the camera. “It would be cool if that theory was true, that KISS really are intergalactic superpowered beings… but I just don’t think it is. If they really were intergalactic superpowered beings, it just seems really outta left field for them to start a rock band on Earth.”

“I do think it would be kinda fun to see the future, though. But just for like, innocent things, like to see if my mom’s going to survive a life-threatening illness or what I’m going to get for lunch tomorrow.”

Ryan looks at him with an odd look. “… Those two are both very different from each other.”

Shane shrugs. “I dunno…” He starts laughing. “Anyway… fun theory. Would be a nice fanfic.”

“Yeah, I can see that existing in fanfic, but not in real life.”

“Like aliens building the Great Pyramids.”

“Fuck you, Shane.” Shane laughs. Ryan shakes his head at him and turns back to the camera. “Well, that does it for this episode of BuzzFeed Unsolved: Postmortem. Be sure to watch the next episode this Friday and send in your questions to the Buzzfeed Unsolved Facebook page, the Instagram page, and comment on the video directly and maybe you’ll be featured on the next postmortem.”

Ryan sighs as the music fades away to more dramatic music. “And with that…” he says, turning to Shane, who has his phone out.

Shane begins to read. “Our weekly Q+A concluded, I now welcome you to the part of the show we call the Hot Daga, the Hot Dog Saga commissioned by—”

“Wait,”

The voice comes from off camera. The music cuts off and Shane stops reading as he and Ryan look up. “What?” Shane asks.

“There’s one more question for you to read.”

Ryan frowns. “But I thought that was all the questions we were gonna do.”

“No, there’s one more. It’s a surprise question.”

“Oohh, a surprise question?” Shane looks intrigued as a woman comes up to them and goes to stand beside Ryan.

“Open your phone,” she instructs, “and go to Instagram. It’s a private post.”

“Okay…” Ryan does as instructed and looks down at his phone as the woman leaves the shot. His eyes widen. “Oh my God…”

“What?”

“It’s from… Okay, I’ll just read it out loud.”

Ryan sits forward and starts to read. “For the postmortem: Hi guys! This is Heather McMann. Excuse the username, trappinguy, I’m borrowing my nephew’s Instagram account for this. You did a great job! Very thorough research, Ryan! Yes, there was a lot of tabloid crap surrounding my argument with Paul, but Paul is right in saying it had nothing to do with What Happened. I will say that I couldn’t have been dating Paul at this time, as the papers insisted—he was in another relationship and I would never do anything to wreck that. Also I was disappointed that you didn’t include the story of how when the band was in Paris on the Unmasked tour Ace made out with Eric after another guy tried to hit on Eric. But I suppose it doesn’t have anything to do with why I disappeared, so I understand. Great video, looking forward to more BuzzFeed Unsolved! #postmortem #boogaraalltheway Cheers, Heather.”

There is silence as Ryan finishes reading. He stares at the phone for a second, then looks up at Shane. “… It’s Heather McMann.”

Shane stares at the phone. “… No way. This isn’t real.”

“I dunno… She did mention the thing about Paris. And the relationship thing. I didn’t even know Paul was in a relationship during this time.”

“… Damn. Now I actually don’t want to do the Hot Daga.” Ryan bursts out laughing, while Shane looks incredibly serious. “How am I gonna follow this?”

Ryan looks at the camera, laughing. “Well, Heather McMann, if this is really you, congratulations. You have single-handedly made Shane Madej unwilling to give us another episode of the Hot Daga. Nice job.”

“Yeah, great job! You are easily the most mysterious woman I’ve ever encountered in my life!”

“Will we get another episode of the Hot Daga next week?”

“Yes.” Ryan visibly sighs in disappointment. Shane points at the camera. “Will we see more adventures with Maizy and her friends? Tune in next week to find out on BUN!”

[ladykateofledfordpark]

A Smile for Friends (M!Raleigh x MC)

This fic is inspired by day 19 of the Choices July Challenge hosted by the amazing @kinda-iconic under the profile @choicesjulychallenge!

Dedicated to @mariaoz and @lady-kato, my amazing Raleigh-loving friends! ❤

Tagging also @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @itsbrindleybinch and @lovedrakewalker! Your support is amazing and I can't thank you enough! =D

Day 19 Prompt: Trust

Pairing: M!Raleigh x MC (Dawn) (lots of Avery, tho! =) )

Summary: Raleigh takes Dawn out for a movie premiere, but Avery is never far.

Notes:

Just like last fic, this takes place with the choices I made in my playthrough. =)

Unedited

Warning: Angsty

----------

Raleigh waited patiently outside, ignoring the horrible need to play with his bracelets. He was not some lovestruck puppy.

No, he was one of pop culture’s most successful solo artists. He needed to act like it.

The door opened, and Dawn left the recording studio with the most beautiful dress ever. A sparkling red cocktail dress, which somehow made her eyes shine so much brighter.

He was so focused on her beauty that he forgot she wasn’t alone. Avery smiled at her, his blue eyes shining with the spark of true happiness, before he hurriedly kissed her on the lips.

Dawn giggled, her cheeks now tinged with pink. Avery squeezed her hand and whispered something in her ear, and she nodded.

Raleigh swallowed. He knew that watching the both of them was just needless torture, but he couldn’t look away. He didn’t know whether it was because of the way Dawn looked, or maybe his body was a lot more masochistic than he knew. 

Dawn brushed her hand on Avery’s cheek, and he immediately took hold of it. “Of course,” she answered, “it’s only a front, remember? I like you.”

Avery chuckled. He pulled Dawn to him, so they were only inches apart, his touch kind and loving, as if she was his very own diamond. “I never thought this could ever happen. You, me, together.”

Dawn’s smile grew. “I’m happy too.”

Raleigh closed his eyes. This wasn’t supposed to bother him. Not at all, let alone as much as it did. Why, then, was it so hard to hear those words Dawn said?

Avery gently ran his hand over her cheeks, his expression that of complete content. “Dawn, I…”

She stopped him, though it was clear how much it pained her. “We’ll talk later, okay? I need to go.”

Avery looked at Raleigh, and his happiness nearly disappeared. “Of course,” he answered, smiling weakly.

Dawn sent him a small, comforting smile, as she slowly peeled away. Her touch lingered, as if she didn’t want to let go, but she had to. She knew that.

Why did she have to act as if it was torture to spend a few hours with him? He was her boyfriend, after all.

Raleigh froze. No, he was not her boyfriend. Why was he even thinking that?

He needed a drink.

Dawn finally met his gaze once she reached him. “Hi, Raleigh. So there’s another gala we’re going to now?”

Raleigh smiled mischievously. “Actually, it’s a movie premiere.”

She blushed. “Right.”

Dawn glanced back at Avery, who sent her a small wave. He smiled at her gently, and she returned his smile.

And then he disappeared, and she was once again forced to pay attention to her fake boyfriend.

“Dawn… Hank’s waiting for us.”

She jumped. “Oh, yeah! Sorry.”

Raleigh led her to the familiar limo. They entered from the back, and Hank immediately winked at the both of them. “Nice to see Hollywood’s most famous couple! How are you two doing?”

Raleigh flexed his arms. He hated the suit he was forced to wear, but this fake date required it. Of course, this outfit would be a lot easier to wear if this was a real date, but that was beside the point.

“Nothing special. Lots of gossip, speculations, the works,” Raleigh answered matter-of-factly. He learned many years ago not to pay the media any attention. Most of what they wrote was nonsense, anyway.

Dawn fingered her necklace absentmindedly. It was a new one, Raleigh noticed, but her thumb rubbed it affectionately, almost as if it was a gift.

“Dawn?”

She raised her head. “Yes, Hank?”

“What’s so special about that necklace?”

Dawn smiled sheepishly. “Um… Avery gave it to me.”

“Oh, really?”

Raleigh stiffened. Dawn brought a necklace from Avery on their date? Why did she think that was a good idea?

She nodded at Hank’s question. “He was a little worried. I told him he shouldn’t be, but…” she shrugged, “you know how it is.”

“I’m not blaming that young lad. You did just start dating.”

“We-well I don’t know how true that is. We’re not officially a couple, but maybe…” she stopped, gazing longingly out her window.

Raleigh cleared his throat. “Dawn, did I tell you about the movie yet?”

She shook her head, as her thumb continued rubbing circles on the necklace.

"It's a surprise."

He was hoping those words would earn the same reaction Avery always got, but Dawn just nodded.

What did he have to do to get even an inch of reaction from her?

They arrived not long after. Raleigh, as the classic "gentleman", put out his hand for Dawn to take. She looked at it hesitantly, her gaze discreetly drifting back to her necklace, before she got up without his help.

And then she tripped, and Raleigh hurried to catch her.

He tensed when he realized their position. Dawn's face was so much closer than usual, surprise rendering her speechless. Her heart beat so close to his, for once he could believe that maybe she was the one for him.

However, when his eyes met hers, she suddenly recovered herself. 

Dawn straightened herself. She smiled a sad and weak smile, the same one hundreds of girls had when they friendzoned puppies desperate for their affection.

Of course, Raleigh wasn't one of those.

"Thank you. I'm too clumsy for my own good."

Dawn brushed her thumb once again on her necklace, as if to remind him who her heart really belonged to. "Let's go."

Raleigh took hold of her arm. "Wait."

"What?"

He swallowed. "You should take hold of me. Just in case."

She hesitated. "Of course."

Her warm hand gently touched his arm, and she plastered a smile on her face. It was beautiful, but paled in comparison to her natural happiness. Why was this the only way Raleigh ever saw her?

Raleigh led her past the hundreds of lights and posters advertising the movie. Dawn gasped when she saw the lavish seats waiting, each one with its very own name tag. She curiously searched for hers, before beaming from what she found. "I can't believe it."

"This is your new life."

Her eyes twinkled like a kid who just got the best treat in the world. "I can't believe it!"

She pushed toward their seats, but Raleigh pulled her back. "Not like that," he grinned.

"What do you mean?"

She paused when a young teenager ran to them, his face red and his eyes apologetic. "Hello, may I have your invitation?"

Raleigh casually dug out an invitation from his packet. The boy read it carefully, before giving a curt nod. "Mr. Raleigh Carrera and Dawn Myers, this way please."

He stopped at the seats Dawn noticed a few moments ago, and stood there till the both of them sat down. Once that was done, he bowed and rushed off to seat some other guests.

"Wow," Dawn said once he was gone, "this is a really big deal."

Raleigh nodded. "If you manage to stay on the A-list, this will be your life from now on."

She quieted, her forehead now creased with deep thought. "Right."

Raleigh frowned. He remembered that night, so long ago, when Dawn called him. Her voice shook stronger than ever, and her words sent tingles of worry in him.

I don't think I want this anymore. I hate pretending to be someone I'm not, dating someone who's not even remotely interested in me. I know that I'm living the dream life, but now I'm not sure this is for me.

He managed to calm her down, but from Dawn's constant hesitation, he knew her doubts weren't gone. They were just better hidden.

"Dawn…"

She turned to him, with wide eyes. "What, is the movie starting?" she asked. Her eyes quickly flitted to the screen before she breathed a sigh of relief.

"What happened?" She asked, once again closed off.

"Are you still worried about this life?"

She chuckled. "Of course not!"

But her voice was high pitched, and Raleigh knew how to detect liars. He had to learn it in this harsh industry.

"You are."

She sighed. "A bit, but… it's getting better. My album just had its debut, my friends are all with me, and I'm now dating someone I've been crushing on for years. It may not be everything I wanted, but I'm starting to think that it's worth it."

She met his eyes, and at that moment Raleigh could've sworn all those beautiful words were meant for him. He gently took hold of her hand, and after slight hesitation she let it stay there.

But she was still fingering the necklace, as if to remind herself that her slightly faster pulse wasn't for the guy sitting next to her. Rather, it was for someone else.

And that act was enough to remind Raleigh of where he stood, and where Avery did.

For some reason, for the first time since he could remember, he desperately wanted to be in Avery's place. At the side of the beautiful girl sitting beside him.

Somehow, out of all the words floating in his brain, Raleigh found himself asking a question. One he never thought he would.

"Why did you tell me about it? About the way you feel?"

Dawn gave him a small smile, while squeezing his hand. "I needed advice, and you were the only one who could give me it. And also…" her eyes shone once more, and Raleigh's heart stopped, "I trust you. We don't know each other for that long, yet you've never let me down."

She gave him the smile Raleigh always longed for, but for some reason his heart wasn't filled.

Because Dawn didn't look at him like he was the light of her life, the guy she would never give up on.

But rather like a friend she would never see in a different way.

[fluidityandgiggles]

Sleep Is For The Weak - Chapter 17

Previous Chapters: Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 5, Chapter 10, Chapter 15, Last Chapter

Writing Masterlist - for previous chapters not otherwise linked, Read on AO3

Notes (I guess): Happy school year in two weeks, folks.

Not gonna lie, I actually had a plan for this chapter, and then forgot it. So... yeah, not the most cohesive or best chapter, but I got it out, and it’s nice, and I like it this way because it’s a break from the wave of panic attacks and mild transphobia the last chapter or two.

Yes, I’m back home now, and I’m doing actually much better mentally and physically than I have since September till June. But the chapters are gonna take a while longer to write from now on, because I’m about to join the scary world of job searching for the unstable ADHD brain, not to mention being involved in three regular ttrpg campaigns (where I play a halfling sorcerer, and a half-elf bard, and also DM the third one), so... my brain is busy. But I promise this fic isn’t going on hiatus! I’m still extremely dedicated and excited to be writing this fic. I love it so much. Honest.

As per every chapter, thanks go to @whatwashernameagain for KHS and for generally being a wonderful human, to @broadwaytheanimatedseries for putting up with my fangirl-levels of excitement over everything (and coming up with the original idea), to @winglessnymph, @asleepybisexual and @anony-phangirl - who, while I know they’ve all fallen out of the loop, continue to have long-lasting effects on this fic as a whole - and new to this list, to @ilovemygaydad, who I’ve asked to beta this fic for me and I hope they’d have time for that starting with the next chapter.

Happy start of college and good luck, my darling dear child. I love you.

Tag list (sort of): @bunny222, @ab-artist, @sweet-and-sour-shadowling, @your-username-is-unavailable, @virgilcrofters, @violetblossem, @maybe-i-like-the-misery, @book-of-charlie, @thatsanswitch, @thatrandomautist, @thebiggestgaypirate, @marshmallow-the-panda

(Wanna be tagged? Lemme know!)

Trigger warning: period appropriate transphobia (the early 00s were not exactly trans-friendly). This chapter is light on the transphobia, but includes aphobia, deadnaming, panphobia (yes, pansexuality was a term in the early 00s, as I learned just half an hour ago) and vague mentions of child abuse.

—————

Sunday, July 27th, 2003

Incoming call: 218-357-5555

"Ye—"

"Remy? I didn't forget your number? Oh good!"

"...Emile?"

"Yeah?"

"...what's this phone number, darling?"

"Oh! Yeah, I… my phone died, so I got a new one! Sorry I didn't tell you sooner… but, umm, I'm gonna get to the point, yeah okay, happy birthday!"

"Thank… you…? Em, you shouldn't have—"

"Ah, but see, that's where you're wrong! Because I had to, because I said that I have to! You're my best friend in the whole world, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't at least call you to say happy birthday?"

"You're precious, darling."

"Thank you! Oh, did you get my gift yet? I sent it to you in the mail last month! Did you—"

"I did, it was… well, it was unexpected, I'd give you that. Where did you even find a Jack mug anyway?"

"Disneyland…?"

"...you know what, that's fair."

"Yeah! So, happy birthday! I'll be in Manhattan next week, so like… do you wanna go see a show or something…? I haven't seen the Gypsy revival yet…"

"...it's a date, then. But you're paying."

"Yes, yes of course! It's gonna be alright, okay? You trust me?"

"With my life."

"Yay! Okay, okay, umm… yeah. I miss you! Happy birthday!"

"Thank—"

"I gotta go right now at this second it's my cousin's bat mitzvah in two days and I need to get my suit and everything but I'll call you tomorrow evening too okay?"

"Sure… have fun, darling."

"Thank you! Okay, bye!"

—————

"India M—"

"Why didn't you tell me Emile has a new number? I cannot fucking believe you!"

"He wanted to do it himself, peach. On your birthday."

"Okay… okay, I guess that's fair…"

"Happy birthday, too."

"Thanks, mom…"

"So… how'd you spend the week?"

"Nothing big happened… my dad took me to see Nina West last night. It was the fucking best."

"I'll bet. Did you have fun?"

"So much fun! She's fan-fucking-tastic. Honestly. I'd give anything for her to either do me or spare a bit of her funny to me."

"Wow… gay much?"

"Shut up."

"Don't worry, it's fine. I still need to take Jenna to a drag show sometime. Did anyone hit on you…?"

"You'll be surprised how many people hit on my dad, actually. But no. I actually broke up with Chris today because of this."

"Oh? Do tell."

"It wasn't… much. He called me a couple hours ago to say happy birthday, which is fine if you ask me but I just… it ended in him trying to talk me into not talking to Emile again. And that's normal, okay, ain't something I can't handle. But he said ‘sure he's asexual, when he isn't spreading his legs to everyone he's asexual'."

"...did he seriously think he can get away with it?"

"India, no—"

"I don't give a fuck anymore, peach. I'm not going to beat him up, you have nothing to worry about, I just… this shit is so fucking infuriating!"

"I know. But hey, look at the bright side. Ulysses and Mandy said they'll take over next year, I'm gonna let them know. He won't be back."

"That's… that's true. I'll call Mandy later. Don't worry about it. Just… what then?"

"Then I told him that it wasn't his choice, he didn't choose any of it, so he said ‘just like you couldn't choose to stay a girl, Rebecca'."

"...oh yeah. Yeah, definitely. I'm telling Mandy. She'll deck him for sure next time she sees him."

"Thanks, mom. I just… I so wanted to deck him right then! So I gave him a piece of my mind, broke up with him and hung up and deleted his number. Now we wait and see what's gonna happen."

"Good boy. I taught you well."

"Thanks… again… he also said that asexuality isn't real, and—"

"I'm flying down to Texas right now to sock him. I took karate for three years. I can do this."

"India, no… hon. Babe. You need to get settled in DC. You need to—"

"I'm buying the plane tickets right now, Remy! Watch me!"

"—You need to get your life together and get your master's degree. You do not, however, need to go break the nuts of someone who doesn't deserve your attention—"

"Who's the older and wiser one of us?"

"Right now? Not you. You told me this very thing when I wanted to kill that asshole who made a joke out of Emmy, I'm telling you this now. Don't."

"...fine. But if I ever do get the opportunity, I'm doing it."

"Good for you."

"Nobody plays my kids dirty like that."

"You go, mom."

"I will! Oh shit, I have to go!"

"What? Why—"

"I forgot Jenna's parents are coming over today and I need to go pick them up from the airport. I'll call you later to keep catching up, okay peach?"

"Okay, but—"

"Awesome, happy birthday, we love you! See you in two weeks!"

"...see y—"

—————

"...Remy?"

"Good evening, Linda… where's Leah?"

"...and here I thought you called to talk to me. But I suppose I'm only your mother, nothing—"

"Mom, please, I'll talk to you after I tell Leah something really important."

"Alright, I'm sorry. But you got the package we sent you, didn't you?"

"I did, I… I just don't understand. You painted that…?"

"Who else would sign my name on a canvas, Remy?"

"You're… right. I'm sorry. It's very nice. Thank you."

"Happy birthday, son."

"Thank… you…"

"...hello?"

"Leah…? Leah, sweetie, can you hear me?"

"Remy! Oh, oh oh oh Remy I told you I'd tell you about my camp and—"

"And how was your time at camp? Take a breath and then tell me."

"Okay! Okay, so, so we were in the woods, and in cabins, and I kinda wanted to sleep in tents but it didn't happen and it was kinda disappointing but I can always do that later, and…"

—————

August 2003

There was a blackout as Remy was trying to write an essay Dr. Gilliam asked of his class.

So his dad put him on a bus to Georgia, which is why he's making do right now at doing his schoolwork with two children running around.

"We gotta go bowling too!" Leah whispered excitedly. For the fifteenth time this hour. "And then we need ice cream, and, umm, I know where the puppies are, and—"

"Leah, love, I need to finish this essay for school right now. Give me a couple minutes, about twenty, and I'll be with you, okay?"

"Okay!"

Remy couldn't be happier to be there at that moment. He had a plane ticket booked to Boston, his rooming was already set at Lowell, the papers have all been set and he was about to room with Emile, Mandy called him the other day to ask if he'd like to help her run the queer society meetings (and of course he said yes)...

And then there was a crashing sound. And a crying toddler sound. And he had to put his laptop aside to go check on Rachel.

More like run to the kitchen to check on Rachel, who was now standing in front of broken pieces of cheap china and bawling her eyes out.

"No, sweetie, it's okay…" he picked her up and started playing with her hair, hoping to calm her down. "We're gonna clean this, okay? What were you doing with the plate?"

"Tea party!"

"You wanna have a tea party?" She nodded, hiding her face in the crook of his neck. "Okay… okay. Let's wash your face, then pick up the pieces, and then make some tea and have a tea party with your dollies. Okay, love?"

She nodded again, and he kind of had no choice. So he did what he said he'd do, sitting Rachel down in her high chair as he cleaned the broken pieces, and for a moment, he felt like an absolute idiot. He felt like he was his mom.

Well… like Rachel was his mom, and the plate was him, and he was his dad, and holy fuck Emile's show analysis habits have definitely had an effect on him and he really should stop thinking about all this ridiculousness right now.

"Remy?" Leah whispered from behind him as he was picking up the shards. Rachel was entertaining herself, rather unaware of what's going on. "Is daddy gonna be mad?"

"I—" He had to stop. And think before answering. "I don't think so, honey."

"But a plate broke…"

"...he doesn't have to know. It was just a plate. He doesn't count the plates in the cupboard, now does he?" She shook her head, her hair flying everywhere. "So he won't know. Because we won't tell him."

"Okay. I can do that."

"I know you can do that, hon. Now, how about you get your roller skates and we'll go to the park?"

"But you said tea party…"

"We can have a tea party after the park. Rachel, do you wanna go to the park?"

Rachel, who up until then mostly minded her own business, looked over and started nodding with a big smile on her face.

"So we can go to the park and then have a tea party. Where's your roller skates?"

—————

Saturday, August 30th, 2003

"It's always nice to see new faces at the queer society meetings," Mandy said with a huge smile on her face as she balanced the clipboard on her knee, Remy holding her iced coffee. "I'm glad you all could make it today. Now, let's do a name round. Everyone state your preferred name - please no dick jokes, we have people who are very uncomfortable with those in this group as well - and what brings you here, and a small fact you'd like people to know about yourself if you'd want to."

Remy just kept looking over the room. Mandy had this all under control, already having printed out a list to put everyone's names and contacts in for if they need to. India trained her well.

From the corner of his eye, Remy could see Emile bouncing in his seat.

"I'll go first. Hi, I'm Amanda, I go by Mandy, I'm pansexual—"

"That's not a real word," someone called out. Remy did his best not to glare at the person.

He was pretty sure it's Chris.

"Pansexual is a word, Christian," Mandy replied, not even looking at him. "It was coined before your grandmother was even born. Anyway, I'm Mandy, I'm pansexual, and I'm in this wheelchair today because I have fibromyalgia and today is a very bad pain day. Who wants to go next?"

It was the same old sharing circle. Some people elaborated more, some people chose not to. Emile went ham on sharing, telling everyone he was gay and asexual and talking about his bunnies at length, looking as proud as he can be.

And then it got to Remy. And he wasn't nearly as anxious as he was last year.

"I'm Remy, I'm gay and transgender, and my therapist said I can start hormone therapy this year."

[gaypanda]

Not Even Sunflowers Can Grow In Our Toxic Love Pt.1

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Tony Stark 

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: Non 

Summery: It’s October in 1995, Tony Stark is 24. All he need is coffee and his lab. Then he meets Steve Rogers an artist. They fall in love. They face the world together. Yet, sunflowers can’t grow in their love, but that’s okay morning glory can. That should be enough.

A/N: Hello, Humans. This is a fan-fiction that I’m working on. I hope you like it. This will also be posted on ao3 with the same title. I will let you guys know there will be somethings that I will tag as I go. I’m doing this not to deceive anyone, but the tags would be spoilers. Any ways I hope you enjoy. 

He stayed in the lab until three in the morning and had a seven A.M class to attend. Sadly he couldn’t just skip it to sleep, because the teacher for some god awful reason gave a grade for attendance. Which meant that he had to actually go to class. In the hopes that he might survive the day he rushed off to get coffee. With coffee in hand he could actually be a person. Only to get to class and have the espresso-filled cup spill on all the notes he had taken that night. With coffee gone and notes ruined Tony end up falling asleep in class. After that two hour monstrosity, he was able to go back and get more coffee before his physics lecturer where he needed to be able to correct the stupid TA that was teaching the class. 

Once Tony entered the coffee shop only to see that they got a new barista. He looked like a blond Superman. Tony stood in line trying to think of a good pick up line to use on the blond man. Slowly the line got shorter and Superman got closer.

“What can I get for you, Sir?” Blond superman asked

“How about you tell me how to time travel from World War Two and my dad’s lab” Tony asked. Only to mentally scolded himself. Why did he think that a pick up line about his dad's failed super soldier experiments during World War 2 would work or make sense? God he needed coffee.”I mean can I have an extra large cup filled with just espresso and a dash of milk.”    

“Are you okay, Sir?” Superman asked while he wrote down Tony’s order. He had a faint smile on his lips.

“No, I need caffeine or I will die!” Tony said pulling out a twenty and handing it over to blond superman,”keep the change by the way.” Tony said as he walked a way to wait for his “coffee”. 

“Espresso for ‘Or I will die’” one of the other barista’s yell a little while later. Tony rushed over to the barista and grabbed the cup and went straight to drinking it. 

When he looked down at the side of the cup he say some writing on the side along with a number. ‘Your pick up lines suck maybe you should try again -Steve’

Tony smiled at the number. He finished his coffee pulled out his phone and put Steve’s number in it.

To:Steve 

I think it worked if you gave me your number. My name is Tony by the way.

Tony smiled as he walked to class. Maybe today wasn’t turning out to bad. Now he just had to deal with mister “I know more Physics than you do so shut up”. The man sucked at physics. Tony was constantly correcting his work. At this point He was practically teaching the class. This is what he gets for trying to be normal. 

After that god awful class Tony was done for the day. This meant he could go home and crash. He lived a couple of blocks away from campus in one of the larger apartments. He lived alone more often than not. His best friend Rhodey would took the guest room when he is home from the air-force. 

Tony meet Rhodey in high school. Rhodey got in the private school by scholarships and pure dedication. He had taken every AP class he could and then he took the test. Somehow he always passed those tests with nothing lower than a 4. By the time they graduated high school Rhodey was halfway done with college. He ended up signing up for the air-force and enrolling in MIT.Tony was proud of his best friend. Every once in a while Rhodey would stay at Tony’s. 

The other person who would stay the night was Tony's other best friend Pepper. Pepper was an intern at Stark industries she was better than the people that Tony's dad had working there. Pepper took no shit. Tony fell in love right away, but Pepper said that she didn’t date spoiled rich kids. From then on they were friends. Pepper calling him out for his shit, and him repaying her with expensive shoes and dresses. By now Tony had given her his credit card when he messed up so she could buy her own apology clothes. When people asked if he was scared that she was just using he for his money Tony laughed and told them if she was then she would have dated and married him. No, Pepper was one of his closest friends, and one day she was going to run Stark Industries. 

Tony smiled as he thought of his friends. Thinking of Pepper, he should ask her if she wants to come over and do a movie night.Tony pulled out his phone to text her when he noticed he had a message. 

From: Steve

You got me. Although what was that pick up line? You need to tell me that story. How about you do that over some dinner. What do say about 6 at the pizza place north of the art building. 

Wow this guy was smooth was all Tony could think as he read the message.

To: Steve 

Yeah I can do that.

Tony looked at the time. It was 12:13 which meant he had just enough time to eat quick sandwich, tell Pepper, take a nap, Pepper barge in help him dress, and get there by 6. Oh how he wishes that could be the case.

Once home Tony did make a sandwich, but only to have Pepper walk in. 

"You have a date, and I'm only being told now." Peppers eyebrow raised as she looked at him and his sandwich. 

"Umm, yea, you were informed the same time I was. Oh yeah his name is Steve. I meet him at one of the three coffee shops near campus. I was too tired to remember which one.” Tony said as he eats his sandwich. Pepper looked at him with disgust as he ate with food in his mouth.  

“Okay,” she sighed,” what time is this date?”

“6 o’clock”

“Do you need help getting read. What don’t answer that of course you do.” Pepper smiled at him. Tony know that she was proud of him for going out on a date with a guy. Tony for the longest time refused to except that he was bisexual. Howard, Tony's dad, was very homophobic. Tony who always wanted his father approve tried to push down the part of him that liked boys. Slowly With the help of Rhodey and Pepper Tony learned that it was okay to like both girls and boys. He still hasn’t told Howard and never will, and Tony’s okay with that.

Tony smiled at her before telling Pepper that he need to nap for at least 3 hours before he could do anything. Pepper just laughed as Tony walked to his room and crashed.

“Tony it’s 4 o’clock you need to get up.” a female voice told. Tony sighed, turned away from the voice, and tried to go back to sleep.

“Tony if you want to make it to your date with Blond superman. Than you need to get up and get ready.” The female voice, now Tony could say was Pepper, told him. With another sigh he open his eyes. Pepper was standing over him. Her red tied back in a bun, along with the suit she was wearing made her look like a mom. 

“ Pepper you look like one of those work moms that is waking up her kid for school, before heading off to work.” Tony laughed.

“God knows I’m not paid enough to wake you up for school.” She rolls her eyes and walks over to Tony’s closet to pick out his date clothes.

“You’re not paid to be my friend Pep. You just love me too much to leave.” Tony said as got up to shower. Stepping in to the bathroom Tony stripped. He turned on the shower and stepped in. The warm water helped wake him up the rest of the way. Tony stands under the hot water letting it wash away the stress of the day. After an unknown time Tony thought it best to rushing through the rest of the shower. When he got out Pepper had already picked out what he was going to wear. She had pulled Tony’s maroon dress shirt and a pair of black jeans.

“I own a pair of skinny jeans?” Tony asked side eyeing to jeans

“They aren’t skinny jeans they’re just jeans. Of course you own jeans Tony want do you wear in the lab?” Pepper respond with a raised eyebrow.

“Jeans but those jeans have holes and grease. Those jeans love me Pep. How did those even get in to my closet?” Tony said as he pulled on the shirt and a pair of briefs. 

“I got you them for your birthday last year, but never showed you to make sure didn’t get rid of them. Now put them on they will make your ass look phenomenal.” Pepper said throwing them at Tony only to have them land on his arm and fall to the ground. Reluctantly Tony put them on. Pep was right they did make his ass look great.

Once dressed Tony made his way to the bathroom to put on some makeup. After being in the public eye his whole life Tony was always having makeup put on him. In his teen years one of her girlfriends thought that it would be fun to do his makeup in the way that girls do it. After that Tony found he liked how he looked fully done up. From then on he would do his makeup for dates and parties. Tony decided to a simple look with only eyeliner, mascara, and a red lipstick. 

When he walked out he saw Pepper sitting on his bed. She smiled at him before telling him, “Now Tony you need to play nice with Steve. Remember that if wants to play you need to be safe. So don’t be silly Tony and wrap your willy.” 

“But mom all the other kids don’t wrap their willies.” Tony laughed.

“ Yes and look at where that got them. Pregnant and getting chlamydia, so lets- lets” Pepper couldn’t finish she was laughing to much. Tony at his friend at they laughed at her stupid joke.

“Okay Pep I need to leave if I’m going to make it on time. Also Pep I’m not the kinda guy that goes wam bam thank you mama.” He said as grabbed his wallet and keys. Before closing the door he hear Pepper shout

“Tony that’s all you did last year.” As she continued to laugh.

Tony walked to the pizza place that he had been told to meet Steve at. He stood at the door looking in and he saw his blond superman. Tony’s heart fluttered and butterflies swarmed in his stomach. Tony knew that this was the start of something amazing. With a deep breath Tony opened the door and walked.

[lunerbean]

Witch Tips 5 +announcement

Hello new friends! Wow, I never expected this series to get so much attention. When I first started my witch tips series, I had had this blog for about a month before it got to 10 followers. I have 3 other tumblr blogs, the oldest one being about 6 years old (I think?) And that one only has about 200 followers. Because of these two facts, I figured I would maaaaybe get 10 followers on this blog every month and the Witch Tips series would come out about once a month or so. While I am extremely grateful and ecstatic about how quickly I'm gaining followers... I no longer think "10 tips for every 10 followers" is realistic for me. I went to a dinner party the other night and woke up almost 3 posts behind. I don't ever want to disappoint my followers or not do what I promise. With all that in mind, I have an announcement: for the sake of not wanting to sacrifice quality for quantity, I've decided that from this point on, it will be "10 tips for every 50 followers" I really hope this doesn't upset anyone or make anyone feel cheated. I just feel this is better for me, because I won't feel stressed trying to keep up with it and better for you because I'll have more time to deliver quality, helpful tips for your craft. It will still be tagged as #10tips.

Thank you for your understanding and without further wait, here are the next 10 tips in my witch tips series.

1. Don't be afraid to try new forms of divination... or stick with just one.

Especially when you're first starting out, you're going to get so excited about the vast array of different forms of divination there are. It can also be incredibly overwhelming. Maybe you'll try tarot first, but maybe tarot isn't the best one for you. You can try tea leaves, runes, oracle cards, etc. But you don't have to be totally proficient in every form to be a good witch! So don't be afraid to learn them all, or to just stick with whichever called to you first! Either way, happy divination.

2. Your intent is the most important thing.

Ask yourself before you perform a spell, "Why am I doing this?" Be honest with yourself, no one is going to judge your answers. Make sure your true reasoning is matching your spells. For example, maybe you want to perform a spell to bring love your way. Well, what kind of love are you really searching for? Maybe you don't need to find your soulmate or your twin flame, maybe you just need to find a movie buddy or a best friend. Maybe you need to love yourself more. Whatever the reason, make sure the spell you're performing is the best one for your needs. Otherwise, it just might not work.

3. Make a love potion and drink it yourself.

I can't speak for everyone, but I certainly know a lot of people who need to love themselves more. I'm personally against slipping love potions to unsuspecting victims or using love potions/spells to get what you want. The best person to make fall in love with you... is you.

4. Try performing spells for the earth before yourself.

I like to start every ritual with giving back to the earth, or sending aid to places in the world that need it most. It helps remind me that witchcraft is not just about myself, but about a connection to the universe. So give it a try! Start your next ritual with a spell to help heal burning forests, or bring a peaceful nights rest to a child in a war stricken nation. Then you can go on to help your own needs, no problem! It's just a nice idea to give back to the world before you ask something of it.

5. Being a solitary witch doesn't have to mean celebrating the sabbats alone.

I don't condone pushing witchcraft onto anyone or revealing your craft to those who may not be welcoming or understanding. That being said, there are ways to celebrate the sabbats with your non-witch friends. Preferably, you'll have know you're a witch and are comfortable with it. But even if you're completely in the broom closet, you can invite them to the festivities. Have a "pre Christmas" party for your friends during Yule to celebrate. There are 3 days that fall under Yule, you can dedicate one of them to celebrating your friendships and loved ones with feasts and gifts, and then the others to more solitary practices. It's totally fine to celebrate holidays alone, I just know it can be hard for some people. So find a way to include your friends, if you want to.

6. Don't try to force astral projection

I know a lot of books and websites on the subject make it sound so easy and like if you want to do it, all you have to do is push yourself! That's totally not how I've found success. Personally, I find that when you're in the right headspace, astral projection comes extremely easily. I've mentioned before about accidentally doing it and getting stuck. I've had times when I tried and tried for hours to do it, but nothing happened. Then there were times when I was sitting in a bathtub, felt it coming on and just went with it. I've heard a lot of people say, and this is also my experience with it, that right before you blast off, you'll get a weird tingle in the back of your neck. That's completely the case for me. Once you identify the tingle, just relax and let it happen. Don't push for it or focus too hard on doing it. Just let it happen when you're ready.

7. Aura reading tips

I'm not going to give a full tutorial right now, because so many already exist and it's really not something I'm a complete expert on. However, I do want to share a few things that might help when you're first starting out.

Don't strain your eyes - that shit hurts

Do have decent lighting, not too dim & not too harsh

Resist the temptation to follow the path of the lights with your eyes. I struggle with this, honestly. Its just so pretty.

Practice often and it will be easier.

It's okay if you don't get it on the first try, just try again in a day or a few hours.

8. Here's a spread to help get to know your new tarot deck

Once you've done the proper rituals to break in your new deck, I think it's important that the first questions you ask your deck are about itself. Before you start asking questions about your own life and goals, let the deck tell you about itself first.

Ask the following questions and then pull three cards, placing them like so:

[1] [2] [3]

1. What can I expect from working with you?

2. How would you describe yourself?

3. Who am I to you?

Write down the questions and the decks answers in your grimoire or LBW to look back on later as your relationship with your deck strengthens.

9. Make a playlist of background music for atmosphere

Personally, I feel the music should be all instrumental with no or very few words. This can help you get into a good headspace and to set the mood for whatever you're doing. Maybe even have multiple playlists for different things, such a meditation, divination, and spell work.

10. You can use shower spells during a rain storm to help the earth

I recently posted a shower spell that I made for self healing and it got me thinking. I like to use my craft to help the earth. What is rain but a shower for the part of the planet you're on? Now, don't go rubbing essential oils or soaps into the ground, but you can take the words of a shower spell and adapt them to help the planet. Even if it's just a small area or it only helps a little bit, it's something, right? Give the planet a little kiss on the cheek by performing shower spells for it while it rains.

Thanks for reading my latest #10tips. I really hope they can be of use to you and that you've enjoyed reading them. Again, thank you for your understanding about these posts coming less frequently. I got overwhelmed Haha. So at my next 50 mark, expect another 10 witchy tips and tricks 💜