#if you read all this you’re the real mvp

[singsweetmelodies]

Annual Piarles Winter Fic Exchange: 2024/25

Hello fellow Piarlies ❤️💙 We are back with another winter fic exchange centred around our French and French-adjacent boys! All arrangements, sign-up details and explanations for the exchange can be found beneath the cut.

How does the exchange work?

Exactly the same as the previous Winter Fic Exchanges! We are approaching the winter break again, and we thought it would be cool if we could inspire another flood of Piarles-flavoured content to lift our spirits and make us miss F1 a little less over the break. Besides, who doesn’t love a present? Especially if that present is a fanfiction written just for you.

So how this works is: you sign up, submit your prompts for what you’d like to read in a gift fic, and then after sign-ups close, we’ll assign you a partner to write for. Someone else will have been assigned to write for you, so on the due date, you’ll post a gift fic and receive a gift fic of your own. 🎁

When are the deadlines and due dates?

Sign-ups are open as of now, and will remain open until the 20th of November 2024 - AKA, the day before the Vegas race weekend officially starts. After that point, we will close sign-ups and collect everyone’s prompts.

Assignments will be sent out by the 25th of November - AKA, the Monday right after Vegas - roll the dice in Vegas to reveal your giftee! 🎲🎲 You will then have almost two full months to work on your gift fics. (The sign-up period is a little shorter this year to give everyone a bit more time for the actual writing of the gift fics).

Gift fics are due to be posted on the 16th of January 2025, though we do want this to be a fun and no-real-pressure exchange for everyone, so if we notice that people are struggling to finish in time for the deadline, we will simply delay it by a week, and/or implement a staggered reveals system. We can do this as many times as necessary for everyone to finish comfortably and produce a fic you know your giftee will enjoy. 💙

What are the posting instructions for the gift fics?

There aren’t a whole lot of really specific or strict rules in this exchange, but the two we would like people to take note of are the following:

This is a Piarles fic exchange, so the main focus of your fanfiction should be the romantic relationship between Pierre Gasly and Charles Leclerc. Background pairings are allowed as long as the primary focus of your fic is still the dynamic between Charles and Pierre. (There will be a space in the sign-up form to indicate which background pairings you do and don’t like. Please note, however, that there is no requirement to write any background pairings if you don’t want to.)

The minimum word count for this exchange is 2k (2000) words. There is no cut-off or maximum word count, but we do ask that you try and write a one-shot instead of a multi-chapter if at all possible (unless you are posting a multi-chapter fic which is already complete at the time of posting.) 

We will do a more detailed post with AO3 collection details and final deadline/timezone instructions closer to the actual deadline. ❄

Is this a fic-only exchange, or can we create art as well?

This is indeed a fic-focused exchange, so in order to participate, we do request that everyone creates a fic that meets the 2k minimum. If you’re inspired to create art of any kind to go along with your fic, though, then you are more than welcome to do so! In fact, you’d be the MVP if you did. 🎁

How does prompting work in this exchange?

There will be a space in the sign-up form for you to submit two different prompts. Prompts can be anything from AU ideas (eg. coffee shop AU) to dialogue (eg. “Shut up” // “Make me”) to tropes or themes (eg. enemies to lovers). Anything goes, pretty much! Our only request is that you submit two completely different prompts - this is just to give your gift writer options.

As a gift writer, you can write either of the two prompts, or even go for some sort of creative combination of them both. It’s completely up to you!

There will be a space where you can provide an explicit/smutty prompt if you want, but please note that your gift writer is not required to include any explicit content in their fic unless they’re comfortable with doing so. 💙

What if I get prompts I really can’t write?

Not to worry - if you really don’t vibe with any of the prompts you have been given, you can get in touch with one of the mods and we will reach out to your giftee to provide an additional prompt or two. If things are still not working, we might reach out to someone else and have you swap giftees entirely. We want everyone to have a great time in this exchange, both in the writing and receiving parts of it!

We understand that sometimes life gets in the way, though, and you might not be able to fulfill your prompts for other reasons. We hope it doesn’t happen, but if you need to drop out of the exchange for any reason, please just let one of our mods know so we can arrange a pinch-hitter to step in and write your giftee’s fic in your place. ❄

Who are the mods for this exchange?

We have the wonderful team of @singsweetmelodies,  @welightitup, @duquesademiel, and @yukierres running things for this exchange! 💙

Where and how do I sign up?

All you have to do is fill out this Google form! Additional relevant information will be shared on the Calamars Club Discord server, so if you are not already part of that server, please message a mod for the invite link. 

@ Pierre/Charles shippers across Discord, Tumblr and AO3: we hope that this exchange will make you all smile over the winter break! We are so excited to share this with you all 🎁

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Maybe it’s my fear of not being believed but I literally can’t do comedy where the other person isn’t being believed. Straight up, at first I would get stressed when the Human Centipede clip was going around. Like, do you know how terrifying it is to be in a wild ass date where you think you’re in danger and the waiter notices but has they have to open their mouth so now you have lie. Or the Elmo Rocko memes like, OF COURSE ELMO’S DISTRESSED! I WOULD BE TOO! LIKE EVERYONE IS TELLING YOU THIS ROCK IS REAL WHEN IT’S NOT(and like yah I’m sure there’s nuance to the situation but like COME ON).

Or Bibi from La Familia Peluche, I remember liking the show as kid and I still do but like, fuck man, the borderline emotional abuse than girl goes through IS WILD. LIKE EVERYONE FUCKING TELLING YOU THAT YOU’RE NOT NORMAL AND FEELING LIKE YOU’RE GOING CRAZY. I remember rewatching La Familia Peluche in Highschool and like fuck man, that period episode. Or to this day I remember the scene where they were serving food and she started to eat first and her family chastised her so she stops but then they make her feel back cause she already started so now she just continue to eat it and like I’ve literally been in a similar situation. And for those who haven’t watched the show, the whole shitck is that this is an absurd world where everyone works on a different level and Bibi’s the only who reacts normally to our eyes(the comedic straight man to alot of the jokes), which leads to the iconic line “Bibi porque no eres una niña normal”(Bibi why aren’t you a normal girl) that is said in every episode. Which from a dramatic irony perspective that we the audience know she’s the only normal person, makes it a funny joke, but if you think about it too hard, it’s so fucking sad, I just can’t help but not fully enjoy the show cause I just constantly feel bad for her.

Fuck even watching HALF LIFE VR BUT THE AI IS SELF AWARE FUCKS WITH ME! Like yes I very much enjoy the series! But, most of the time I’m just feeling bad for Gordon, like fuck man, I’d react the same way, wouldn’t you. Like ESPECIALLY BENRY! MAN DID HE STRESS ME OUT! I genuinely felt so bad for Gordon!

And then this slides into how I can’t enjoy alot of comedy(especially cringe humor) cause even though I understand the joke and think it funny on paper, I just end up feeling too bad for the character to actually enjoy. And it’s awful because I’ll STILL watch the shows because I’m invested in the characters not the humor if that makes sense??? (Oh, Community/The Office, the hate love relationship I have with you).

Anyway, yes I’m so fun to watch comedy with, I literally can’t be in the same room from some scenes. And yes, all my favorite characters follow the Only Sane Man trope, why’d you ask?

[lyricsandpapers]

Apologies to the One Mutual who is about to have All of my Tim Drake Thoughts. Didn’t even realize I sent you like 8 paragraph messages at like 9am until it happened

[mountainsandmayhem]

BDSMaid - Chapter 2

Masterlist || AO3

Pairing: Millionaire Joel Miller x Female Reader Series Summary: After recently graduating from university, your best friend offers you a job cleaning luxury homes for clients you’ll never know. It’s only temporary and a good way to save money for when you go back to get your law degree. That’s what you’re promised at least. Easy. Simple. Mundane. That is, until one of your clients is home and everything that you felt was missing in your life starts to fall into place. This goes against the NDA you signed and you could get fired. Or worse, you could fall in love.  Chapter Summary: Try as he might, Joel just can’t shake the memory of you. Try as you might, you can’t stop thinking of the woman tied to his desk. CW: The slow burn is burning. Mentions of death and underage drinking. Topless in public, this is a love story about BDSM after all. Reader does have some physical descriptions, so maybe more of an OFC, or just pretend you have pouty lips and a slightly upturned nose. Double POV (reader and Joel). AN: Thank you SO FUCKING MUCH for all the love on chapter one of this story. I literally cannot believe it surpasses 1000 notes in just a month, you're all insane and I love you. Dividers by @saradika-graphics. Biiiig shout outs to the bb's who have been so supportive of me spiralling and panicking this last month over the next chapter. I'd be in a deep dark cave without you @mermaidgirl30 @littlevenicebitch69 @lotusbxtch @evolnoomym @joelmillerisapunk and @milla-frenchy . Thank you! I feel like I'm giving some sort of Oscars speech and if you're still reading this, you're the real MVP. XO Word Count: 8.5k

~ Joel - 27 Years Ago ~

Joel’s stands in the garage of someone he barely knows, surrounded by drunk and rowdy classmates from his high school. He’s a senior, graduating in just a few weeks and moments like this are one of the perks of being the star designated hitter and first baseman, everyone wants you at their party. Someone hands him a warm, flat beer that was pumped poorly from a keg as they pat his back roughly in congratulations. Joel’s not sure how a bunch of seventeen year olds managed to get a keg, most likely an older brother, but he drinks the shitty beer all the same. Speaking of brothers, he hasn’t seen Tommy in a while. He’s only fifteen and he promised their mom he’d keep an eye on him. The younger Miller shouldn’t be at a seniors party, but that's where those perks come in again, because if Joel was good, Tommy was better. In fact, he was so much better that he’s played up a whole age group his entire life, always right beside Joel. Tommy was the back catcher, and tonight he got the eleventh inning game winning out at home for them to win the state championship. 

He finds Tommy chatting with a group of girls, all of whom are incredibly beautiful. They’re going to be very disappointed when they find out how much younger he is than them. Joel smiles into his red solo cup as he takes a sip of stale beer. He tucks his free hand into the pocket of his light blue wranglers and walks over to the wall of the garage. He leans back and crosses one cowboy booted foot over the other. The brim of his cowboy hat grazes the unpainted drywall behind him. Texas, and the country, in the late nineties was where everyone wanted to be, and Joel Miller could have been the poster boys for teenage country boys in 1997.

Brooks & Dunn plays on someone's CD player in the corner, laughter and people talking overlaps until it’s just noise to Joel. He stands back, watching his younger brother effortlessly charm the five pretty girls around him. All of them in tight blue jeans, lacy white tops, denim vests and cowboy boots. He grabs one by the hand and Joel overhears, “I’ll teach ya how to two step, shame to not know in a place like this.” Then the motherfucker winks at her like he’s some sort of cowboy Casanova. Joel lets out a silent laugh through his nose and sips the beer again shaking his head. 

Just as Tommy pulls the pretty little blonde over towards the unmarked and unofficial dance floor in the corner of the garage the song changes. Slow guitar, followed by the unmistakable twang of Tim Magraw’s voice. Joel didn’t know it then, but that song would change the course of his life and intertwine itself in the very fabric of his being.

‘Dancin’ in the dark, Middle of the night’

That’s when he sees her, tall and slender, deep olive toned skin and pale green eyes. Her dark curly hair cascades over one of her shoulders. She’s laughing with another classmate, and even though he can’t hear the sound of it over the noise of the party, he can tell it’s a light and melodic sound, and he wants to spend the rest of his life drawing that out of her. 

‘Takin’ your heart, An holdin’ it tight’

He puts his warm beer on the work bench beside him and takes off his black felt Stetson, placing it over his broad chest, hoping the comfort of his favourite hat would slow the rate at which his heart is beating. 

‘Emotional touch, Touchin’ my skin, And askin’ you to do, What you’ve been doin’ all over again’

She looks over at him, smiling shyly, and before he knows what he’s doing he’s walking over to her. His legs move on their own accord, knees shaking as he approaches the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen.

‘Oh, it’s a beautiful thing, Don’t think I can keep it all in, I just gotta let you know, What is that won’t let me go’

Everything in the room fades as she fully comes into view. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe the girl in front of him. She radiates a warmth that he’s only ever known his mother to radiate. It’s the first time he’s ever seen this girl, but she feels like home. This is it, that one thing that everyone says you’re supposed to feel. The thing his grandpa told him when he was younger, “Son, you’ll just know. It sounds ridiculous, but when I saw your grandma it was like a pull behind my belly button. I just knew, and I’ve known everyday since then.”

“Howdy, ma’am,” Joel says, tipping his hat to her before placing it back on his head. 

She giggles, confirming his earlier thoughts. It really is the sweetest fucking sound he’s ever heard. “Hi.”

He holds out a hand to her and she takes it, her skin is so warm and smooth. In that moment he knows that hers will be the last hand he ever holds. Fire flushes through his veins as he continues, “I’m Joel, what’s your name?”

“Oh, I know who you are Joel Miller,” she flirts, not letting go of his hand. “I’m Tiffany.”

“Tiffany,” he repeats, his voice going deeper as he says it. It’s egotistical but he loves the way girls shiver just a little when he lowers his register. “And how is it that you know who I am?”

She slides her hand from his and reaches up to grab his cowboy hat, plopping it onto her head. “Star first baseman and designated hitter, everyone knows Joel Miller. Look around, look at all these girls lookin’ at you, cowboy.”

For the first time in his life Joel finds himself blushing, but he doesn’t take his eyes off Tiffany. 

“I only see one girl.” She rolls her eyes and swats at his bicep at the cheesy line, but that was it for both of them. From that point they were inseparable. 

They both turned eighteen a few months later, and just ten months, and a thirty two hour labour after Tiff turned eighteen, a tiny little Sarah came into the world all pink and screaming. Joel hears that song again as he watches Tiffany hold that little bundle of blankets, ‘Better than I was, More than I am, And all of this happened, By taking your hand.’

They get married when Sarah is just a few months old. Both his beautiful curly haired girls in white dresses, Tiffany grabbing that same black Stetson off his head during their first dance. He holds them both, swaying from side to side, a hot tear rolling down his cheek at how goddamn happy he is. ‘And who I am now, Is who I wanted to be, And now that we’re together, I’m stronger than ever, I’m happy and free’.

Things for their little family of three are perfect. They buy the house with the white picket fence and the wrap around porch. Joel gets a job working construction and enjoys a nightcap with his beautiful young wife on their front porch every night. They make love often, slow and sweaty, Joel worshiping her soft copper toned skin inch by glorious inch. Tiffany wraps every minute of her day around Sarah and being a sweet, devoted housewife. Nothing seems to stand in their way. Until the diagnosis shortly before Sarah starts Kindergarten. 

Tiffany is too young, they’re all too young. This isn’t something that happens to people their age, they haven’t had enough time. Joel spends the next few months in a haze, it has to be a bad dream. The appointments, the treatments, the call to 911 when the illness starts to win. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. 

He holds Tiffany until the very end. Sponging a soft kiss to her forehead, whispering his goodbyes as they shut off the machines keeping her here. “You’ve been so strong, my love. You fought so hard. I know you’re scared to go, I’m scared too, but we’ll do it like we do everything else. Together. I’ll be ok, Sarah will be ok. Just rest now. I love you.” 

As she takes her last shaky and shallow breath, a sound will live with him until he takes a breath that matches hers, that song echoes through his hollow chest. ‘It’s your love, It does something to me, It sends a shock right through me, I can’t get enough’.

You - Present Day

You roll to a stop outside Mister Miller’s house for your second day of cleaning. As you look towards the impressive house your pussy flutters at the memories of yesterday - the almost pornographic noises that were made in that office, his soft and kind eyes as he apologized profusely in the kitchen. You were supposed to go to a study group last night, but instead you got lost in a rabbit hole of porn where women are tied up and fingered. You got yourself off four times thinking about a man you’re not even supposed to know, wishing it was his thick fingers hitting that spot inside of you that you can’t reach on your own. You felt guilty about it last night and now being back in his home you have that same sinking feeling again. 

Stupid. Sacrificing my future for a fantasy. Never again. 

You let yourself in the house and look at the list in your cleaning app. You pop in your AirPods and start listening to your favourite true crime podcast; thankful for the new episode, a gruesome distraction as you scrub baseboards and lightswitches. The episode ends and in an attempt to not let your mind wander to the gorgeous man that lives here, and the depraved new things you’ve discovered about yourself, you start an educational audiobook about civil rights law. You might want Joel Miller to strap you down and whisper filth in your ears, but you are a good person, and your aspiration in life is to help people who face discrimination on a daily basis. 

You breeze around his home, checking off each task and before you know it it’s almost one in the afternoon. You have almost your whole list complete, his soft sheets are in the dryer (and yes, you are incredibly proud of yourself for only putting the luxurious white fabric to your face twice on the way to the washer). You only have the patio furniture to spray down and the kitchen counters to wipe. That’s when your stomach growls, almost as if to remind you that it’s the perfect time to take a break while the dryer finishes. You haul all your stuff out to your car and lock up, sitting in your front seat as you take out your lunch container.

An engine revs in the distance and your heart skips in your chest. Before you even have time to wonder if it’s Joel’s car, one of the black garage doors slides open and Joel’s obsidian coloured Aston Martin rolls by you, stopping with precision on the shiny cement floor of the garage. You avert your eyes, focused on your container of chicken noodle soup. The left side of your face feels the warmth of his gaze fixed on you. Without looking over you can tell he is studying you and it takes everything you have to keep your eyes on your measly lunch. 

The afternoon sun is blocked as Joel raps his knuckles on your window. You glance over at him, looking up through your lashes. He’s looking at you intensely but you can’t quite place his expression. As always, his deep brown eyes are locked on yours, he could either be happy to see you or incredibly disappointed in you. But one thing is for sure, he’s calculating your every need with those warm and inviting eyes. He knocks again so you crank the handle to roll your window down a crack.

He raises one eyebrow at you, both hands rest on the roof of your SUV as he leans forward to speak to you through the small opening in the window. “Seriously?” His voice is laced with sarcasm. 

“What?” You say, “Can’t be too safe.”

He blinks at you before continuing, “What'd ya doin’ out here?”

You lift your tupperware container a little, willing the tingles between your thighs to stop, “Eating my lunch.”

He rolls his eyes, running his hand along his greying scruff. “You’re eatin’ lukewarm soup in your car in the middle of February.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement, but his voice is warm and curious, and you start to realize that the look on his face isn’t happiness or disappointment, but concern. 

You nod, “Yes.” His eyes dance around your face and you swear your heart is beating as fast as a hummingbird’s wings. Fluttering so fast that it’s traveling up your throat and you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. 

“Get out of the car. Come warm that up and eat inside.” His voice is thick with concern, entire face soft as he looks at you. 

You swallow your heart back down to where it belongs, “I’m not allowed to do that, Mister Miller.”

His cheeks redden a little and some of the softness in him disappears, “Don’t call me that, it’s jus’ Joel to you.”

“I’m not even supposed to know your name, Mister Miller. I can’t call you by your first name.”

He shifts his weight onto one foot and points a thick finger at you through your window, “Don’t. Either you call me Joel or nothin’ at all. Come inside,” he drops his pointer finger to the door handle. He pulls on it to find it locked. “Seriously?”

“I told you, I can’t be too safe!” You can help but think how cute he looks all flustered - shaking his head at you for being cautious in a neighborhood where you could probably scream your credit card number and no one would use it. If anything, the wealthy homeowners on this street might transfer you money when they see the state of your vehicle. 

“You’re eatin’ inside.” He says flatly. 

“I told you, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to do that. You’re a client, Mist - I mean. Sorry, I just can’t. We aren’t allowed.” You glance towards the clock on your dash. At this rate your break is going to be over before you finish eating. 

He jiggles the door handle again, as if he can convince the metal to bend and unlatch itself with just his sexiness alone. “You like rules, don’t ya?”

He’s got you there, you do enjoy following the rules. You nod and hum a noise in agreement. 

“Unlock the door, please,” his voice has changed, he’s being more commanding now. A deeper, huskier sound leaving his lips. The sound seems to latch onto something deep in your mind, strong fingers wrapping around the control center of your brain, guiding you to do his bidding. You blink the feeling away. 

“Mister-,” his eyes flash with darkness, “Sorry. I can’t. It wouldn’t be right to eat in your house, plus my break is almost over.”

Joel releases your door handle, raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose and lets out a breath, as he drops his hand back to the top of your vehicle an amused smirk flashes across his face. “Do you consider yourself to work in customer service?”

“Yes,” you say nervously.

“And isn’t the main rule of customer service that the customer is always right?” His lips form a tight line and a deep dimple carves into one of his tanned cheeks. Your brain flashes back to one of the videos you watched last night, a man sucking on a woman's nipples as he rubbed her clit, her arms and legs strapped to a padded table. He had a dimple, but he had nothing on Joel. 

“Yes,” you croak and then clear your throat gently, shifting in your seat at the fire building behind that bundle of nerves between your thighs. 

“Then unlock the door, darlin’ and eat inside.” He doesn’t give you a chance to respond, turning and walking towards the house. He stops on the front step, opening the large glass front door. You follow, flip flops slapping on the concrete, carrying your powdered chicken noodle soup and plastic spoon up towards his fancy home. When you reach the threshold, he holds out his large hand palm up and you place the old, stained tupperware with your half eaten soup into it. He looks down at it and then back at you, eyes trailing along your body and it feels like he’s running a torch over you. “Is this all you have to eat?”

You nod, giving him a tight lipped smile. 

He cocks his head towards the kitchen and one pushed back curl that’s laced with a few greys falls into his eyes with the movement. In order to stop from pushing his loose curl back you squeeze your fists gently and head towards the stool you sat on yesterday. As your flip flop hits the tile you stop and look back towards your car nervously. “I, umm, I forgot my shoes.”

His large, warm palm comes to your lower back and he pushes you gently towards the kitchen. You sit as he transfers your soup into a matte black bowl and places it in the microwave. He opens a cupboard and pulls out a loaf of fresh bread, as you go to protest he flicks his eyes up to yours and something about the expression on his face tells you not to argue with him. He pops the two carefully cut pieces into the toaster. He breezes effortlessly around the kitchen for someone so broad and masculine. You didn’t realize someone making toast could be so sexy. The microwave beeps and he grabs a gold spoon from a drawer before wandering around the island, placing them both in front of you. His arm brushes yours as he pulls away and your heart flutters at his touch. He walks back around the kitchen island and grabs a glass. 

“Still or sparkling?” He says as if that’s just a normal question to ask when you get someone a glass of water. Just another thing that proves you don’t belong here. The toaster pops and you jump a little. He chuckles as he grabs the toast, slathering it with butter. “Still or sparkling, darlin’?” 

You breath hitches, he’s called you darlin’ twice now. Is that just that southern charm you hear about so often, or is it more? You shake the thought from your head, there’s no way someone like him is interested in someone like you. “Still is fine, you don’t have to trouble yourself.” 

You take a spoonful of soup, blowing on it gently before putting the spoon in your mouth. Joel is watching you in the same way he was yesterday. Assessing. Observing. Calculating. It feels like he’s looking into your very soul. He slides the plate of toast and then a glass of sparkling water over to you from across the island.

“Thank you,” you say quietly. “You didn’t -”

He holds his hand up, stopping you in the same way he did yesterday. “I wanted to.”

You feel your cheeks redden and you have to look away as you take a bite of toast. He’s too handsome standing in the kitchen with the afternoon sun highlighting his features. He’s wearing a black dress shirt today, the top few buttons undone, accentuating the perfectly groomed salt and pepper hair on his chest. You swallow your bite of warm, salty, buttery toast, allowing your eyes to flutter closed at the delectable flavour, holding back a moan. 

Joel clears his throat and crosses his arms across his broad chest, “So how did ya get into cleanin’ houses?”

You look up at him through your lashes. Why is he being so nice to you and taking care of you? He apologized yesterday. And after you told him it was fine he left you a massive tip. He said he wants to do this, but why? He’s rich and handsome and you can probably safely assume that that icy blonde from yesterday was his girlfriend. Unless…could she possibly be a mistress? You decide that that must be it. She’s his mistress. He has a wife. He’s just like every other rich man, cheating on his beautiful and age appropriate wife with someone much much younger than him. He’s probably terrified that you might find out who his wife is and tell her. That tip was hush money.

“I’m saving money,” you say and then shake your head, willing the thoughts in your mind to calm down. “For law school.”

“That right?” He says, raising an eyebrow at you as you take another spoonful of soup.

“Yes, I want to be a lawyer. I graduated a semester early and needed some money before going back to university. Assuming I even get accepted. This job meant I could work part time so I could study to take the LSAT again and also make good money.” You take another bite of the toast, mainly to make yourself shut up. 

He watches you the entire time, nodding along, his eyes constantly assessing. “Take the LSAT again?” he asks.

“I passed it already and applied to schools but I haven’t heard back yet. Law school is pretty competitive, so I’m going to take it again and hopefully have a better mark for the next round of college applications.” You’re talking too much, you need to shut up and just eat, but Joel doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look away. No one has ever listened to you like that, not even your parents.

“Next round?” He asks curiously. 

You feel your cheeks redden. You don’t want to admit to this obviously successful man in front of you that you probably won’t get accepted to any of the eight universities you applied to. “Yes. It’s competitive, and I probably won’t get in. So I’m preparing to be better the second time.”

“Where did you apply? If that’s not too forward of a question.”

“No, not too forward. Umm, a few places. Strength in numbers, I guess. Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Berkeley, Duke, University of Toronto, but I don’t think I’d survive a Canadian winter. I also applied at Notre Dame and University of Texas here in Austin.”

Joel laughs at you mentioning the Canadian winter and once you’re quiet, he looks down at his expensive dress shoes, “I, umm, I know some higher ups at UT Austin if you need me to put in a good word.”

You smile at him when he looks back up at you, “I don’t think that’s quite how it works, Joel. But thank you.”

The two of you are silent for a moment while you finish your first piece of toast. You glance up at him and he’s looking at you with that same hint of pride he had yesterday while you drank your water. He’s making you feel like eating toast is something to be proud of. You can’t explain it but his facial expression wraps around like a corset. Pulling its metaphoric laces and making you sit up taller, holding your head up higher. With just the shimmer in his deep brown eyes you feel like you could take on the world. You need to break the silence so you say, “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” he says, leaning back to rest on the countertop behind him. His arms uncross, his strong hands wrapping around the countertop on each side of his body. 

“What do you do for a living? To have all this?” You gesture around the house as you sip your sparkling water.

“A few things. I used to own a construction company, sold it a few years ago to retire but I got bored pretty quickly. Now I own a few properties, I rent them out.” You nod as you listen to him, eating your lunch. One hand rubs at his patchy, salt and pepper beard nervously before saying, “I also own a club.”

You let out a little giggle into your water glass, immediately praying that he doesn’t think that was you being rude. Of all the professions that could have come out of his mouth, owning a nightclub was the last thing you expected. Joel smiles at the sweet melodic sound leaving your lips and relief washes over you. “Why’s that so funny?” His voice is light at his inquiry. 

“It’s not,” you say after swallowing your water. He furrows his brows at you. “You just - I mean, I guess I don’t know you, but don’t seem like the nightclub type.”

“You’re right, you don’t know me. But you’re also right that I am not a nightclub type,” he states. Something about the way he says it makes you sense that that’s as far as you’re going to get with it, but you also realize that the club is probably how this man meets young women to bring home.

You put your spoon down and place your hands in your lap. “Can I umm, ask you something else?”

“Of course,” he repeats. 

“What’s with that little dinosaur toy on your coffee maker?”

He smiles and reaches over to grab it, rubbing his thumb along the faded and scuffed brown paint of the little toy. He looks down at it and a hint of sadness seems to fill his coffee and amber eyes as he looks at you. “My daughter, she umm, she got it for me from the prize box in Kindergarten after her mom -” he stops mid sentence, sadness lining his features. Joel’s not married, you roll your eyes at yourself internally for thinking the worst of him. And truthfully, you of all people know he’s not married. You clean his house, you’ve been in his bedroom, and there are no women's clothes. You’ve also been in all the spare bedrooms and there’s no chance another person lives here with him. He continues, choosing his words almost carefully, “Well, just after she was gone.”

“I’m sorry, Mister,” his eyes flash onyx for just a second, he looks lethally sexy and you swallow your words before starting again. “I’m sorry, Joel.”

“It was a long time ago,” he says, placing the dinosaur back. He runs his fingers through his salt and pepper curls, letting out a little sigh. There’s a shift in him, like suddenly the world is heavier. He tries not to let it show, and maybe most people wouldn’t notice, but you see it. The slight fall in his face, a little slump in the shoulders, a breath held for just a second too long. He clears his throat gently and says, “I’ll be in my office. Eat your lunch for me, please.”

Joel

Joel closes the door of his office and rests his forehead against the smooth wooden surface. He can’t remember how much he spent on these doors when he built the house, but he would set any door that separated him from you on fire if he had to. 

Get it together, Joel.

He closes his eyes and only sees you. The way your glossy, pink lips formed a little O as you blew on your soup. The way the gold plated metal spoon slid softly along your tongue. His cock twitches in his pants and he feels the urge to throw all the spoons in his house away. 

Great, you’re jealous of a spoon. 

He shouldn’t be home. He signed a contract, and more importantly, you signed a contract. In order to protect him and you there is to be no contact between the cleaner and the client. That’s what you consented to when you took your job at Maid Discreetly, and now he’s caused you to break that contract not once, but twice. But he cannot seem to get you out of his mind, and as he sat in a meeting at his club he couldn’t focus. You were here, cleaning his home in that form fitting white polo shirt and those black pants that hugged at your hips in all the right places, and he just had to know if you were as beautiful as he remembered. Just a quick peek, he convinced himself as he made up some bullshit excuse to leave. 

When he saw you sitting in your rusty SUV you looked so innocent and pure, you were more than beautiful. The afternoon sun lighting up your high cheekbones and slender, slightly upturned nose, it gave you an almost angelic glow that temporarily took his breath away. If he had to describe you in two words he would say that you were simply ravishing. For the first time in almost thirty years he wished he still had the calming comfort of that black felt cowboy hat. But that soft Stetson went with her because she loved it so much. 

As he caught his breath and looked at you from his garage, he was overcome with an urge to bruise and corrupt you. He’s a bad man for the thoughts he's been having about you. He can’t help himself, but even in his most twisted of fantasies, he’d never do anything you didn’t want him to. But, fuck, he’s sure he could mold you into exactly what he wants in a submissive. 

Joel isn’t new to the world of kink; he’s had many subs, all of whom have referred to him as Mister Miller. However, his name has never sounded so fucking sweet as it did coming off your lips. Those two little words leaving your pouty, pink lips feel like that first sip of whiskey after a long day, and it might kill him if he doesn’t make you his. 

He sighs into the white wood of the door before standing and walking to sit behind his desk. He drops into the soft leather chair and lets his head fall back onto the headrest and closes his eyes. What is it about you? Why can’t he stop thinking about you? You’re way too young. Way too sweet. Way too…sinless. And even though he can’t explain it, and he knows you don’t know it, you’re way too “exactly-what-is-going-to-ruin-his-entire-life”. 

You’re not someone he can just play with. No, he’s good at reading people, and you’re the kind of person that deserves being invested into. You’re also not someone who is going to stick around. You have dreams and well laid out plans on how you’re going to achieve them. He can’t cage you in, he’ll have to let you spread your wings and fly no matter how much he sees himself as the man he used to be reflected back in your eyes.  

He opens his eyes and pictures you kneeling in the corner, perfectly manicured hands that he pays for you to have done weekly folded on your lap as he works. He imagines calling you over with a curl of his fingers, you crawling across the plush carpet and resting your head on his lap as he responds to emails, takes calls, or plans events. He could reach down and run his fingers through your soft, silky hair as you nuzzled deeper into his lap with your cheek. “My perfect, sweet girl,” he’d hum.  

His body falls forward, forehead hitting the sturdy wooden desk with a thump. Jesus Christ, Joel. 

It was one thing when he only found you beautiful - he could live with being attracted to you, he could find a way around it or stuff that attraction down, maybe he’d find a new sub to distract himself with. That would be easy for him, but then you had to open your mouth, you had to speak so passionately about your future. Why couldn’t you just be pretty like all the other women he plays with? You might be one of the most driven people he knows: the way you push yourself, already planning for the next “no”. And that kills him, ruins him really that you are programmed to think there will automatically be a “no” and that you’ll have to endure another round of LSAT’s and college applications. You’re smart, and he wants to kill whoever made you feel like you need to push yourself this hard. 

His phone vibrates in his pocket; annoyance courses through his body until he sees his brother's name across the pristine screen of his newest iPhone Max. 

“Ya?” He says harshly. 

“Everything ok with the alarm?” 

Joel’s mind goes blank, “What?” 

Tommy is silent for a second before he responds slowly, “The alarm? You left in the middle of a meeting because of an alarm.” 

Joel shakes his head. Right, the alarm. The bullshit excuse he made up so he could leave to see you. “Ya, right. Ya, it’s fine. Got it all, umm, all fixed up. Should be back soon.”

“You ok, brother?” Tommy asks suspiciously. “You seemed, I dunno, distracted today.” 

“I’m fine,” Joel snaps. 

“Alright. Well, come back soon, pretty big night here and we need ya.” 

Joel hangs up without saying goodbye. He’s the owner, he knows it’s a big night, but he’s sort of busy having an existential crisis over possibly being in love with his house cleaner. Whoa, in love? Pump the fucking brakes. Joel’s heart stops beating for a second at the thought of it. He can’t possibly be in love; he doesn’t fall in love. No, he decides, it’s just because she’s new, and exactly my type, and it’s been a long time since I found someone that’s my type.

Just as he stands from his desk, he hears the hose outside turn on. You must be at the pool furniture part of your list. He takes this moment to sneak out of his own house, because he’s a weak man when it comes to you, apparently. He slips into the Italian leather front seat and lets the new car smell waft over him; he loves the smells of a new sports car and has never owned one long enough for it to stop smelling that way. It’s a matter of status to him. He takes a good hard look at himself in the rear view mirror. That’s enough now. For both of your sakes. Leave her alone. 

You 

After spraying down the pool furniture you rush inside to warm up. Seriously, who needs their pool stuff cleaned in the fucking winter? As you jog up the stairs to grab Joel’s freshly laundered sheets, you blow into your cupped palms. The warmth spreads from your frozen fingertips to your palms. Joel’s office is empty; he must have left while you were outside. Your brain swirls with unanswered questions as you pull the fitted sheet back onto his king size bed. Why would he come home? First of all, he knows you’re here this time and second of all, he knows he’s not supposed to be here. So why? And then there’s his calculating stare, always watching and usually with a flash of pride in his features. Did he come back here just to talk to you? Maybe even to get to know you? 

It’s safe to say that you’re more confused than ever, and you make a mental schedule of studying and reading to keep you busy later tonight so you won’t spend hours trying to google him again.

It takes way too much effort, and a silent promise to yourself to get back to the gym, but you manage to wrestle the oversized duvet back into its cover just as three o’clock rolls around. You jog down the wide, open staircase and your phone bings in your back pocket. Jamie’s name is splayed across your cracked screen, the sunset from your last trip to California shining back at you. 

What are you doing tonight? Want to make a bunch of money serving drinks topless?

You laugh to yourself. Truthfully, nothing Jamie asks you seems to surprise you, and some sort of odd job where you’re topless or in a sexy outfit is practically a guarantee as a condition of your friendship. As you reach for the black envelope on the kitchen island you text back. 

What?

You barely have the thick parchment of the envelope open when she responds, like she already had the text locked and loaded and was just waiting for you to try to fight her on it.  

Remember Laren? My cousin? She has a topless catering company and needs help tonight. It’s at some exclusive VIP poker game downtown. 4 hours, $300 + tips.

You respond as a thousand dollars falls out of the tip envelope. 

I’m in.

Jamie picks you up a few hours later and parks her blacked out Range Rover in the alleyway behind a shiny black building in the heart of downtown. You’re once again surrounded by wealth and success thanks to Jamie. The dress code tonight is a black pencil skirt, black heels, your tits, and a bow tie that Laren will give you. Speaking of whom, Laren is holding open a staff door for you and Jamie with her hip, waving the two of you into the warmth of the building. She pulls you both into a big hug, “Thank fuck! You two saved my ass tonight. Gotta love having friends and family with great tits!”

“You’re so weird,” Jamie says, brushing past her and into the building. You follow her in before Laren ushers you towards a service elevator. 

“They’ve already started, you’re part of the second shift. I think the first set of girls made about four hundred each in tips, helps if you serve the guys that are winning though. The first round of games is almost over, winners move on soon.”

“How were their tits though? As great as ours?” You joke. Underneath the calm and collected mask you’re wearing you are definitely nervous. All these strange men are going to see you half naked, you know nothing about poker or serving drinks. Your two friends laugh as the elevator opens to a small changing room. Girls from the first shift are putting their tops back on, handing the bow ties back to Laren who gives them to you and Jamie. 

She cocks her head towards a swinging door, “Just through there when you’re done. Go to the bartender for a tray and table assignment. Two girls per table and only six seats so it should be pretty easy. Make sure you smile!”

“Yes, ma’am,” you and Jamie say teasingly as you strip off your tops and bras. She flips you the middle finger as she heads back out to the poker game to supervise. The cool air of the room stiffens your nipples, nerves fluttering behind your navel as you put the bow tie on.

You overhear the girls that are leaving talking about the men, “Did you see the one with the curly hair at the table by the bar?”, one says. 

The other responds, “He was so fucking hot. Total daddy, I think he owns this place.” 

A third pipes up with, “Fuck, I should have flirted more. I could use a sugar daddy.” 

As they walk towards the elevator the first girl says, “Did you know that this is a sex club? Too bad we can’t go explore the rest.” They giggle as they leave and you take a steadying breath. You’re going to be topless, in a sex club. 

“Ready?” Jamie asks, adjusting her bowtie around her slender neck. 

“Did you know this is a sex club?”

She laughs, “Ya, it’s like an exclusive kink club apparently. Laren said it’s owned by two brothers who are insanely hot. Maybe I should see if they need a maid.” She winks at you as you both walk towards the swinging door. 

You step into the dimly lit room and find the bar directly across from you. After rolling your shoulders back and down, you cross the dark hardwood floor to the bar. Everything in the room is black or deep forest green. Black paint covers the walls, your heels click against the sturdy black wooden floors, even the poker tables and chairs are black. A pop of deep green velvet only along the seats and table tops. It looks soft, like one of those fuzzy blankets you have on your couch and you fight the urge to run your hand across one of the empty tables as you pass. 

The bartender hands Jamie a tray first and then quietly tells her to go to the table in the far right corner. She sways her hips like the sultry goddess she is as she walks to the table. Relief floods through you when you notice that none of the men have raised their eyes, they’re focused intently on the card game. This isn’t some sleazy club like you initially thought when you heard ‘sex club’ leave the lips of the other servers. You relax a little at being able to just be yourself tonight, maybe a bit more naked than you’d usually be but yourself nonetheless. 

You take the black marble serving tray as the bartender points to the table closest to the bar. The curly hair man that the women were talking about in the change room faces away from you. Your heart leaps in your chest. Joel. As you approach the other server standing behind the table, he starts to turn his head. Time stops, your heart speeds up, and it starts to feel simultaneously too hot and too cold in the room all at the same time. It’s almost as if he’s turning his head in slow motion. As you catch his side profile he has the same hooked nose, in the dim light of the room you can’t see any greys along his temples and he doesn’t appear to have a beard. After what feels like an hour, his eyes finally meet yours and you let out a breath, although you aren’t sure if it’s disappointment or relief leaving your lungs. It’s not Joel Miller.

“Mind bringin’ me another Macallan neat, sweetheart?” His eyes stay locked on yours as he smiles at you sweetly. He holds the crystal glass out for you and you take it with a soft ‘yes, sir.’

Something about those eyes, and the way they flash darkly at being called sir, feels all too familiar. In the time it takes for you to take the six or seven steps to the bar you convince yourself that it’s just your brain seeing him everywhere. You tell yourself that when you bring this drink back he’ll look nothing like the man you caught knuckles deep in a woman as she cried out, nothing like the man who was so gentle and sweet, yet slightly bossy and commanding with you this afternoon. 

That’s definitely it, you say to yourself with finality. You’re just cock drunk over a cock you’ll never have. 

The bartender pops the whiskey open and the hair on the back of your neck stands up, you can feel someone looking at you. Almost feel their stare heating the right side of your body. It feels as if all of your exposed skin is being covered by the gaze of whomever is looking at you, shielding you protectively from the view of the other men. The bartender's eyes flick to the corner of the room and then back to you while he hands you the drink. The shift of his gaze confirms that you weren’t imagining it, there is someone looking at you. You place the whiskey on your tray and spin cautiously to the right, stopping dead in your tracks when you lock eyes with Joel Miller. He looks dangerous, sitting at a low table along the wall, his face just barely illuminated by a single candle on the dark wooden table top. His fingers are laced together, forearms of his black dress shirt resting on the knees of his black dress pants. His lips are pressed in a thin, disapproving line. 

He stalks over to you and you wish your tray was empty so you could shield your tits from him. The way he moves is almost menacing, like a jaguar stalking his prey, his eyes are almost black in the low light of the room. Your nipples stiffen under his intense gaze, your mouth fills with saliva and you gulp loudly. You stand frozen, the whiskey for that man you had convinced yourself isn’t related to Joel forgotten about on your tray. He plucks the drink off the marble slab, the glass looking like one of those disposable paper cups you have in your bathroom in his hand. He takes two long strides and drops the glass beside the man. 

“Thanks,” he starts to coo, a ten dollar bill clasped between two fingers. After realizing it’s not you, he adds a confused, “Brother?” 

He tries to pull the money back, but Joel is quicker. Snatching it from his brother's grasp and tucking it into the breast pocket of his dress shirt. Joel turns back to you and steps in closely, your lower back hitting the cold marble bartop and you gasp, arching your back and naked breasts towards Joel. His jaw flexes as he fights to keep his eyes level with yours. 

“What are you doin’ here?” he says in a harsh whisper. 

“I’m working,” it comes out a lot more bratty and defiant than you intend it to. 

“Not here you ain’t.”

You take a small step forward, your hard nipples lightly grazing the soft fabric of his black dress shirt. “I’m not leaving.” 

His hand circles your bicep and you twist out of his grasp. “You’re makin’ a scene, darlin’.” 

“You are, Joel. I’m just trying to make money.” He grabs you more firmly this time, not tight enough to hurt you but enough for you to know he means business. 

What’s his problem anyway? He doesn’t own you. What you do outside his home is none of his business. He can boss you around via an app every other week, but that’s it. That’s where it ends. You glance desperately over at Jamie to find her back to you as she speaks softly with a man who’s waiting for the next round of poker. Her hand grazes his bicep flirtatiously, she makes it look too easy to get what she wants from men. Joel guides you towards the staff changing room, keeping your body in the dark edges of the room. He’s breathing heavily through his nose, like an angry dragon and you’re honestly surprised smoke isn’t billowing out of his nostrils. 

In the bright lights of the changing room you feel more exposed than ever. You want to lift your tray, but in order to prove to him that you don’t care what he or anyone thinks you don’t. In fact, you stand up taller, holding your head high and pushing your chest out. It’s infinitesimal but he looks down just for a nano second. You smirk when his eyes come back to you. 

“Put a shirt on.” 

“If none of the other girls have to put a shirt on then neither do I.” You pop your hip out and pull your arm free from his large calloused hand and rest it on your hip. 

“Don’t fight me on this.” 

“I’m not fighting. You are. So all those other girls are fine, but I’m not? Why? My tits aren’t big enough for you?” 

“That’s not,” he pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a breath with his eyes closed. When he reopens them his eyes land softly on yours. “I just need you not to be here. Please.” 

Bright red anger sparks along the sides of your eyes. Seriously, who does he think he is? “You aren’t the boss here, Mister Miller.” 

“Do NOT call me that.” His neck flushes the same colour as your vision. You stand your ground, eyes narrowing into glaring slits. What is his aversion to being called Mister Miller, and why does it turn you on a little bit to rile him up when you use it?

“You aren’t my boss or my dad, Joel. You can’t make me leave or tell me what jobs I can or can’t take.” You’ve figuratively dug your heels in, you aren’t leaving. He can’t make you. Only Laren or whoever owns this sex club can ask that of you. “You can’t kick me out like you own the place.” 

“Actually,” he says darkly, “I can.” 

“What?” You say through a nervous breath, eyes widening. 

“I own the place. So I can kick you out, and I am kicking you out. Get your shirt.” 

Your shoulders fall slightly. You feel about two feet tall with the realization that he doesn’t want you here. This afternoon you thought that maybe he cared, he seemed like he cared, and now you’re half naked and he wants you to leave. He watches as you unclasp your bow tie and slide on your bra and shirt. 

You look over at Jamie’s clothes and it dawns on you that you didn’t drive here. Your face falls as you blink around the room and then towards Joel. 

“What’s wrong?” he says through thick concern.

“Nothing. I just…” 

He steps towards you, he’s so broad, his presence so large that you start to feel almost claustrophobic when he’s this close, but you never want him to step away. You’d happily let him smother you with his innate Joel-ness. “You just what?”

“I didn’t drive here,” you say quietly, looking down at your hands. Your left thumb nail immediately finds purchase along the cuticle of your right thumb. 

His strong palm cups your chin, lifting until he’s looking at you again. You’re becoming more and more used to the amount of eye contact Joel seems to make. He seems constantly dialed in on you when you’re in the same room.

Yes, I would be very happy to let him smother me. 

The harsh lines of his face soften, “I can get you a car. They’ll meet you at the staff door.” 

You nod into his hand and find it exceedingly hard to stay mad at him when he looks at you that way. He drops your chin and turns his large, broad body back towards the swinging door. He looks over his shoulder and says, “I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” His voice is soft and sad, almost as if he’s full of remorse and just hoping you won’t hate him before heading back into the poker game. Any bit of anger is flushed from your system, replaced with the disappointment of having to leave wherever Joel is.  

You drag your feet to the elevator and then towards the staff exit. You let the heavy door close behind you with a loud bang as a blacked out SUV pulls up. The driver says your first and last name as he opens the back door for you. You look towards the black building one last time. 

“I’m sorry. I just can’t have you here, this is on me.” 

JMKink is written in shiny metallic black on the door and all the information of the evening hits you at once. JMK. Joel Miller Kink. Joel Miller, insanely handsome millionaire, owns a sex club.

Next Chapter

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[sleepynoons]

umemiya x afab!f!reader (characters aged up), nsfw, 18+, not beta read

cw: oral + fingering (receiving), stockings/tights fetish, cosplay, body worship because umemiya is absolutely smitten with you, slight body insecurity (nothing very specific, just mentions of reader needing reassurance), couch sex, praise kink!!!!

cw: this is a few days late, but this was written for bunny day (august 2nd). some context: reader + umemiya are adults and y'all live together, reader is in a slutty bunny costume, tsubakino is the real mvp. not sure how i feel about this one-shot, i wrote it with my clit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

IT WAS supposed to be a simple surprise. you had told tsubakino about wanting to play a prank on umemiya on bunny day, something along the lines of wearing a small get-up to tease your boyfriend. tsubakino loved your idea and promised to help prepare you a costume for the day.

what you didn’t expect was tsubakino to gift you a whole bunny bodysuit with accompanying fishnet stockings, a floppy-eared headband, and a miniskirt.

you’re mortified as you stand in front of the mirror. you feel absolutely awkward in the outfit. umemiya’s waiting for you in the living room, and you should be returning from “the bathroom” any moment now. you could change back, pretend like everything’s normal, but then you’d feel bad for wasting tsubakino’s efforts.

mustering your courage, you sigh and try to fake some semblance of confidence. you tiptoe out of your shared bedroom with umemiya back to the living room, where he’s sitting on the couch, back turned to you.

here goes nothing.

you cover umemiya’s eyes with your palms and chirp, “i have a surprise for you!”

he laughs, bright and easygoing like wind chimes. “for what?” he asks.

“keep your eyes closed,” you say. you shuffle your way around the couch so that you’re standing in front of your boyfriend. you clear your throat, feeling another surge of nervousness. “do you know what day it is today?”

innocently, he shakes his head no.

“well,” you explain, “it’s bunny day, so i thought i’d do a little something for it. you know, just for fun.”

umemiya grins widely and practically vibrates in his seat, like a kid waiting to receive a sweet treat. you tap him gently on the shoulder to indicate that he can look now.

umemiya’s eyes widen as they drink you and your scandalous outfit in. you’re fidgeting underneath his gaze, wringing your clammy hands behind your back. you don’t want to ask for his opinion in fear of his response.

but you shouldn’t have hesitated because your boyfriend dramatically falls onto his knees onto the floor and practically kisses your feet.

“baby, you look so good! it suits you so well!” he exclaims. you laugh as he wraps his arms around your torso and hugs you tightly, pressing his cheek to your stomach. then, he looks up, steely grey eyes meeting yours, and smiles softly. “you look stunning,” he breathes, voice oozing pure adoration.

you fluster at his words. umemiya’s never been afraid to shower you with praise, yet even after years together, you still get shy at his straightforwardness. truly, his love feels like a tight squeeze to your heart, and you’re almost pained by how much you love him back.

“are you sure?” you ask meekly.

he plants a firm, long kiss to the spot right underneath your belly button before suggesting, “i can show you if you want.”

he stands up, still holding you close, and helps you lie down on the couch. it’s a little cramped, but your boyfriend manages to slip a knee in between your parted legs and places his hands on either side of your head. he leans down, capturing your lips with his, and begins to make out with you. he licks into your mouth and swallows all of your moans as he rocks his leg into your core.

in between gasps, as the two of you break apart to breathe before colliding together again, umemiya squeezes in sweet praises and words of affirmation. 

“look so sexy and naughty. i’m so lucky to be the only one who can see you like this.”

“wanna strip you and mark you all over, so everyone knows that you’re mine.”

“angel, you’re so good to me, and i promise i’ll make you feel good, too.”

your back arches at his words, trying to press up into umemiya’s body. he takes it as a signal to give you more.

he starts making his way downward. he sucks bruises and hickeys onto your neck. blows on your exposed cleavage and ghosts his lips over your perked nipples, already visible from underneath the thin fabric of the bodysuit. when he reaches your hips, umemiya slides his head underneath your miniskirt and uses his teeth to pull the bottom of the bodysuit to the side.

you whimper as umemiya mouths at your core. there is no doubt that your pussy is drooling, the crotch of your stockings sticking to your panties, and you can feel every lap of umemiya’s tongue as he uses the tip to trace your folds and lick at your clit. his hands are gripping your thighs, fingers hooking into and tugging at the fishnets.

umemiya’s never told you this before, but he loves it when you wear stockings. the shine of the fabric, how it stretches around your legs, the way the waistband slightly cinches at your waist – everything about you in tights arouses him incredibly. even though you were so nervous at first, you still oozed sex appeal, and he has to hold himself back from completely ravaging you.

he hums as you gush again. your body is twitching, shuddering as he makes love to your pussy, and he can feel your hole fluttering open and close, in need of something to fill it up. it’s a shame, he thinks for a brief moment, before he sits up and rips your fishnets open. you gasp, surprised at the sudden display of strength, but you don’t have the chance to speak up as your boyfriend shifts your panties aside and presses two of his thick fingers into you.

he pumps them quickly, curling his fingers when he presses deep inside and teasing your entrance when he glides out. his other hand is busy playing with your chest, his palm grasping and fondling your breasts with gentle tugs. barely breathing, you’re seeing white flashes in your vision as umemiya works your body, and when he nudges against that spot, you let out an especially loud moan.

your boyfriend perks up at the sound. he needs to hear you make that noise again. “one more time, angel,” he coos.

you can’t refuse even if you wanted to because umemiya adds one more finger and bullies your sweet spot over and over and over again while swiping your clit with the heel of his palm. all you can do is cry out his name and sense your orgasm build up at an accelerating pace, pussy burning and fluttering at the relentless stimulation.

“baby, you’re about to cum, right?” the question is rhetorical, because it’s obvious that you are, and even if it wasn’t, umemiya’s well-aware that you can’t hear him over your moaning. your boyfriends smirks to himself as he watches you lose yourself to the pleasure that he’s giving to you. but if he had to choose, he thoroughly enjoys the sight of you climaxing much, much more.

so he leans over and groans into your ear, “cum for me, pretty girl.”

and you do. your body behaves so obediently, back arching and pussy clamping down on his fingers in response, and whine, feeling wave after wave of your orgasm crash over. umemiya tries his best to work you through your high, curling and prodding with his fingertips as best as he can. 

when you calm down and your mind clears up a bit, you look up, admiring umemiya and his satisfied expression. weakly, you reach up, trying to wrap your arms around his neck. your boyfriend understands, whispering affirmations and placing light pecks against your temple as you hold onto him.

in this position, though, you can feel umemiya’s length pressing firmly against your thigh. after all that umemiya’s given you, you know you can’t finish tonight without pleasuring him.

“hajime…,” you say, voice small and slightly cracking. 

“yes, angel?” he replies.

you wriggle your hips, feeling your core reignite, and mumble shyly, “wanna make you cum.”

something inside umemiya snaps. you’re just too good to him. 

[acealistair]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard GameInformer Article Transcribed

I saw some people lamenting that they had no way to read the GameInformer article, and while MVP dalishious posted screenshots of the article here, I figured that might be a little difficult to read, plus people with screen readers can't read it of course. So I've gone ahead and transcribed it! Full thing below the cut!

As a note, I transcribed it without correcting any typos, capitalization errors, etc. that the article itself had (as much as it pained me, omg the author capitalizes so many things that shouldn't be and vice versa). There may be some typos on my part as I did this as quickly as I could, so apologies in advance for any you might encounter.

I have also created a plot-spoiler-free version of the article for those who would like to learn more about the mechanics of the game without learning more plot info than they want!

Throughout my research and preparation for a trip to BioWare’s Edmonton, Canada, office for this cover story, I kept returning to the idea that its next game, Dragon Age: The Veilguard (formerly subtitled Dreadwolf) is releasing at a critical moment for the storied developer. The previous installment, Dragon Age: Inquisition, hit PlayStation, Xbox, and PC a decade ago. It was the win BioWare needed, following the 2012 release of Mass Effect 3 with its highly controversial and (for many) disappointing ending. Inquisition launched two years later, in 2014, to rave reviews and, eventually, various Gameo the Year awards, almost as if a reminder of what the studio was capable of.

Now, in 2024, coincidentally, the next Dragon Age finds itself in a similar position. BioWare attempted a soft reboot of Mass Effect with Andromeda in 2017, largely seen as a letdown among the community, and saw its first live-service multiplayer attempt in 2019’s Anthem flounder in the tricky waters of the genre; it aimed for a No Man’s Sky-like turnaround with Anthem Next, but that rework was canceled in 2021. Like its predecessor, BioWare’s next Dragon Age installment is not only a new release in a beloved franchise, but is another launch with the pressure of BioWare’s prior misses; a game fans hope will remind them the old BioWare is still alive today.

“Having been in this industry for 25 years, you see hits and misses, and it’s all about building off of those hits and learning from those misses,” BioWare general manager Gary McKay, who’s been with the studio since January 2020, tells me.

As McKay gives me a tour of the office, I can’t help but notice how much Anthem is scattered around it. More than Mass Effect, more than Dragon Age, there’s a lot of Anthem - posters, real-life replicas of its various Javelins, wallpaper, and more. Recent BioWare news stories tell of leads and longtime studio veterans laid off and others departing voluntarily. Veilguard’s development practically began with the COVID-19 pandemic in 2020. When I ask McKay about the tumultuousness of BioWare and how he, as the studio manager, makes the team feel safe in the product it’s developing, he says it’s about centering on the creative vision. “[When] we have that relentless pursuit for quality, and we have passion and people in the right roles, a lot of the other stuff you’re talking about just fades into the background.”

That’s a sentiment echoed throughout the team I speak to: Focus on what makes a BioWare game great and let Veilguard speak for itself. Though I had no expectations going in - it’s been 10 years since the last Drag Age, after all, and BioWare has been cagey about showing this game publicly - my expectations have been surpassed. This return to Thedas, the singular continent of the franchise, feels like both a warm welcome for returning fans and an impressive entry point for first-time players.

New Age, New Name

At the start of each interview, I address a dragon-sized elephant in the room with the game’s leads. What was Dragon Age: Dreadwolf is now Dragon Age: The Veilguard. Why?

“These games are reflections of the teams that make them, and as part of that, it means we learn a lot about what the heart and soul of the game really is as we’re developing it,” Veilguard game director Corinne Busche tells me. “We quickly learned and realized that the absolute beating heart of this game is these authentic, diverse companions. And when we took a step back, as we always do, we always check our decisions and make sure they still represent the game we’re trying to build.”

Dreadwolf no longer did that, but each member of BioWare I speak to tells me The Veilguard does. And while I was initially abrasive to the change - lore aside, Dreadwolf is simply a cool name - I warmed up to The Veilguard.

Solas, a Loki-esque trickster member of the Elven pantheon of gods known as the Dread Wolf, created the Veil long ago while attempting to free the elves from their slave-like status in Thedas. This Veil is a barrier between the magical Fade and Thedas, banishing Elven gods and removing Elven immortality from the world. But players didn’t know that in Inquisition, where he is introduced as a mage ally and companion. However, at the end of Inquisition’s Trespasser DLC, which sets the stage for Veilguard, we learn in a shocking twist that Solas wants to destroy the Veil and restore Elves to their former glory. However, doing so would bring chaos to Thedas, and those who call it home, the people who eventually become The Veilguard, want to stop him.

“There’s an analogy I like to use, which is, ‘If you want to carve an elephant out of marble, you just take a piece of marble and remove everything that doesn’t look like an elephant,’” Veilguard creative director John Epler says. “As we were building this game, it became really clear that it was less that we were trying to make The Veilguard and more like The Veilguard was taking shape as we built the game. Solas is still a central figure in it. He’s still a significant character. But really, the focus shifts to the team.

“[We] realized Dreadwolf suggests a title focused on a specific individual, whereas The Veilguard, much like Inquisition, focuses more on the team.”

Creating Your Rook

Veilguard’s character creator is staggeringly rich, with a dizzying number of customizable options. Busche tells me that inclusivity is at the heart of it, noting that she believes everyone can create someone who represents them on-screen.

There are four races to choose from when customizing Rook, the new playable lead - Elves, Qunari, Humans, and Dwarves - and hundreds of options to customize your character beyond that. You can select pronouns separately from gender and adjust physical characteristics like height, shoulder width, chest size, glute and bulge size, hip width, how bloodshot your eyes are, how crooked your nose is, and so much more. There must be hundreds of sliders to customize these body proportions and features like skin hue, tone, melanin, and just about anything else you might adjust on a character. Oh, and there’s nudity in Veilguard, too, which I learn firsthand while customizing my Rook.

“The technology has finally caught up to our ambition,” Dragon Age series art director Matt Rhodes tells me as we decide on my warrior-class Qunari’s backstory, which affects faction allegiance, in-game dialogue, and reputation standing - we choose the pirate-themed Lords of Fortune.

Notably, instead of a warrior class, we could have chosen mage or rogue. All three classes have unique specializations, bespoke skill trees, and special armors, too. And though our Rook is aligned with the Lords of Fortune faction, there are others to choose from including the Grey Wardens, Shadow Dragons, The Mourn Watch, and more. There is some flexibility in playstyle thanks to specializations, but your class largely determines the kind of actions you can perform in combat.

“Rook ascends because of competency, not because of a magical McGuffin,” BioWare core lead and Mass effect executive producer Michael Gamble tells me in contrast to Inquisition’s destiny-has-chosen-you-characterization.

“Rook is here because they choose to be, and that speaks to the kind of character that we’ve built.” Busche adds, “Someone needs to stop this, and Rook says, ‘I guess that’s me.’”

Beyond the on-paper greatness of this character creator, its customizability speaks to something repeated throughout my BioWare visit: Veilguard is a single-player, story-driven RPG. Or in other words, the type of game that made BioWare as storied as it is. McKay tells me the team explored a multiplayer concept early in development before scratching it to get back to BioWare basics. The final game will feature zero multiplayer and no microtransactions.

Happy to hear that, I pick our first and last name, then one of four voices, with a pitch shifter for each, too, and we’re off to Minrathous.

Exploring Tevinter For The First Time

Throughout the Dragon Age series, parts of Thedas are discussed by characters and referenced by lore material but left to the imagination of players as they can’t visit them. Veilguard immediately eschews this, setting its opening prologue mission in Minrathous, the capital of the  Tevinter Empire. Frankly, I’m blown away by how good it looks. It’s my first time seeing Veilguard in action and my first look at a Dragon Age game in nearly a decade. Time has treated this series well, and so has technology.

Epler, who’s coming up on 17 years at BioWare, acknowledges that the franchise has always been at the will of its engine. Dragon Age: Origins and II’s Eclipse Engine worked well for the time, but today, they show their age. Inquisition was BioWare’s first go at Ea’s proprietary Frostbite engine - mind you, an engine designed for first-person shooters and decidedly not multi-character RPGs - and the team struggled there, too. Epler and Busche agree Veilguard is the first RPG where BioWare feels fully in command of Frostbite and, more generally, its vision for this world.

We begin inside a bar. Rook and Varric are looking for Neve Gallus, a detective mage somewhere in Minrathous. The first thing players will do once Veilguard begins is select a dialogue option, something the team says speaks to their vision of a story-forward, choice-driven adventure. After a quick bar brawl cutscene that demonstrates Rook’s capabilities, there’s another dialogue choice, and different symbols here indicate the type of tone you can roll with. There’s a friendly, snarky, and rough-and-tough direct choice, and I later learn of a more romantically inclined “emotional” response. These are the replies that will build relationships with characters, romantic and platonic alike, but you’re welcome to ignore this option. However, your companions can romance each other, so giving someone the cold shoulder might nudge them into the warm embrace of another. We learn Neve is in Dumat Plaza and head into the heart of Minrathous.

Rhodes explains BioWare’s philosophy for designing this city harkens back to a quick dialogue from Inquisition’s Dorian Pavus. Upon entering Halamshiral’s Winter Palace, the largest venue in Dragon Age history at that point, Dorian notes that it’s cute, adorable even, alluding to his Tevinter heritage. If Dorian thinks the largest venue in Dragon Age history is cute and adorable, what must the place he’s from be like? “It’s like this,” Rhodes says as we enter Minrathous proper in-game.

Minrathous is huge, painted in magical insignia that looks like cyberpunk-inspired neon city signs and brimming with detail. Knowing it’s a city run by mages and built entirely upon magic, Rhodes says the team let its imagination run wild. The result is the most stunning and unique city in the series. Down a wide, winding pathway, there’s a pub with a dozen NPCs - Busche says BioWare used Veilguard’s character creator to make each in-world NPC except for specific characters like recruitable companions - and a smart use of verticality, scaling, and wayfinding to push us toward the main attraction: Solas, attempting to tear down the Veil.

All hell is breaking loose. Pride Demons are rampaging through the city. Considering Pride Demons were bosses in prior games, seeing them roaming freely in the prologue of Veilguard speaks to the stakes of this opener. Something I appreciate throughout our short journey through Minrathous to its center below is the cinematography at play. As a Qunari, my character stands tall, and Rhodes says the camera adjusts to ensure larger characters loom over those below. On the flip side, the camera adjusts for dwarves to demonstrate their smaller stature compared to those around them.

This, coupled with movie-liked movement through the city as BioWare showcases the chaos happening at the hands of Solas’ Veil-break ritual, creates a cinematic start that excited me, and I’m not even hands-on with the game.

Eventually, we reach Neve, who has angered some murderous blood mages, and rescue her from danger. Or rather, help… barely. Neve is quite capable, and her well-acted dialogue highlights that. Together, Varric, returning character Lace Harding, who is helping us stop Solas and is now a companion, Rook, and Neve defeat some demons. They then take on some Venatori Cultists seizing this chaotic opportunity to take over the city and other enemies before making it to Solas’ hideout. As we traverse deeper and deeper into this hideout, more of Solas’ murals appear on the walls, and things get more Elven. Rhodes says this is because you’re symbolically going back in time, as Minrathous is a city built by mages on the bones of what was originally the home of Elves.

At the heart of his hideout, we discover Solas’ personal Eluvian. This magical mirror-like structure allows the gang to teleport (and mechanically fast-travel) to Arlathan Forest, where Solas is secretly performing the ritual (while its effects pour out into Minrathous).

Here, we encounter a dozen or so demons, which BioWare has fully redesigned on the original premise of these monstrous creatures. Rhodes says they’re creatures of feeling and live and die off the emotions around them. As such, they are just a floating nervous system, push into this world from the Fade, rapidly assembled into bodies out of whatever scraps they find.

I won’t spoil the sequence of events here, but we stop Solas’ ritual and seemingly save the world… for now. Rook passes out moments later and wakes up in a dream-like landscape to the voice of none  other than Solas. He explains a few drops of Rook’s blood interacted with the ritual, connecting them to the Fade forever. He also says he was attempting to move the Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, part of the Evanuris or Elven gods of ancient times, to a new prison because the one he had previously constructed was failing. Unfortunately, Solas is trapped in the Fade by our doing, and these gods are now free. It’s up to Rook to stop them; thus, the stage for our adventure is set.

The Veilguard Who’s Who

While we learned a lot about returning character but first-time companion Lace Harding, ice mage private detective Neve Gallus, and veil jumper Bellara Lutara, BioWare shared some additional details about other companions Rook will meet later in the game. Davrin is a charming Grey Warden who is also an excellent monster hunter; Emmrich is a member of Nevarra’s Mourn Watch and a necromancer with a skeleton assistant named Manfred; Lucanis is a pragmatic assassin whose bloodline descends from the criminal House of Crows organization; And Taash is a dragon hunter allied with the piratic Lords of Fortune. All seven of these characters adorn this Game Informer issue, with Bellara up front and center in the spotlight.

The Lighthouse

After their encounter with Solas, Rook wakes up with Harding and Neve in the lair of the Dread Wolf himself, a special magical realm in the Fade called the Lighthouse. It’s a towering structure centered amongst various floating islands. Epler says, much like Skyhold in Inquisition, the Lighthouse is where your team bonds, grows, and prepares for its adventures throughout the campaign. It also becomes more functional and homier as you do. Already, though, it’s a beautifully distraught headquarters for the Veilguard, although they aren’t quite referring to themselves as that just yet.

Because it was Solas’ home base of operations, it’s gaudy, with his fresco murals adorning various walls, greenery hanging from above, and hues of purple and touches of gold everywhere. Since it’s in the Fade, a realm of dreams that responds to your world state and emotion, the Lighthouse reflects the chaos and disrepair of the Thedas you were in moments ago. I see a clock symbol over a dialogue icon in the distance, which signals an optional dialogue option. We head there, talk to Neve, select a response to try our hand at flirting, and then head to the dining hall.

A plate, a fork and knife, and a drinking chalice are at the end of a massive table. Rhodes says this is both a funny (and sad) look at Solas’ isolated existence and an example of the detail BioWare’s art team has put into Veilguard. “It’s a case of letting you see the story,” he says. “It’s like when you go to a friend's house and see their bedroom for the first time; you get to learn more about them.” From the dining hall, we gather the not-quite-Veilguard in the library, which Busche says in the central area of the Lighthouse and where your party will often regroup and prepare for what’s next. The team decides it must reach the ritual site back in Arlathan Forest, and Busche says I’m missing unique dialogue options here because I’m Qunari; an Elf would have more to say about the Fade due to their connection to it. The same goes for my backstory earlier in Minrathous. If I had picked the Shadow Dragons background, Neve would have recognized me immediately, with unique dialogue.

With our next move decided, we head to Solas’ Eluvian to return to Arlathan Forest and the ritual site. However, it’s not fully functional without Solas, and while it returns us to Arlathan Forest, it’s not exactly where we want to go. A few moments later, we’re back in the Arlathan Forest, and just before a demon-infested suit of mechanized armor known as a Sentinel can attack, two new NPCs appear to save us: Strife and Irelin. Harding recognizes them, something Dragon Age comic readers might know about. They’re experts in ancient elven magic and part of the new Veil Jumpers faction. The ensuing cutscene, where we learn Strife and Irelin need help finding someone named Bellara Lutara, is long, with multiple dialogue options. That’s something I’m noticing with Veilguard, too - there’s a heavy emphasis on storytelling and dialogue, and it feels deep and meaty, like a good fantasy novel. BioWare doesn’t shy away from minutes-long cutscenes.

Busche says that’s intentional, too. “For Rook, [this story’s about] what does it meant to be a leader,” she says. “You’re defining their leadership style with your choices.” Knowing that Rook is the leader of the Veilguard, I’m excited to see how far this goes. From the sound of it, my team will react to my chosen leadership style in how my relationships play out. That’s demonstrated within the game’s dialogue and a special relationship meter on each companion’s character screen.

Redefining Combat Once More

Bellara is deep within Arlathan Forest, and following the prolgoue’s events, something is up here. Three rings of massive rocks fly through the air, protecting what appears to be a central fortress. Demon Sentinels plague the surrounding lands, and after loading up a new save, we’re in control of a human mage.

Following the trend of prior Dragon Age games, Veilguard has completed the series’ shift from tactical strategy to real-time action, but fret not: a tactical pause-and-play mechanic returns to satiate fans who remember the series’ origins (pun intended). Though I got a taste of combat in the prologue, Veilguard’s drastic departure from all that came before it is even more apparent here.

Busche says player complete every swing in real-time, with special care taken to animation swing-through and canceling. There's a dash, a parry, the ability to charge moves, and a completely revamped healing system that allows you to use potions at your discretion by hitting right on the d-pad. You can combo attacks and even “bookmark” combos with a quick dash, which means you can pause a combo’s status with a dash to safety and continue the rest of the combo afterward. It looks even cooler than it sounds.

Like any good action game, there is a handful of abilities to customize your kit. And, if you want to maintain that real-time action feel, you can use them on the fly, so long as you take cooldowns into effect. But Veilguard’s pause-and-play gameplay mechanic, similar to Inquisition’s without the floating camera view, lets you bring things to halt for a healthy but optional dose of strategy.

In this screen, which essentially pauses the camera and pulls up a flashy combat wheel that highlights you and your companions’ skills, you can choose abilities, queue them up, and strategize with synergies and combos, all while targeting specific enemies. Do what you need to here, let go of the combat wheel, and watch your selections play out. Busche says she uses the combat wheel to dole out her companions’ attacks and abilities while sticking to the real-time action for her player-controlled Rook. On the other hand, Epler says he almost exclusively uses the combat wheel to dish out every ability and combo.

Busche says each character will play the same, in that you execute light and heavy attacks with hte same buttons, use abilities with the same buttons, and interact with the combo wheel in the same way, regardless of which class you select. But a sword-and-shield warrior, like we used in the prolgoue, can hip-fire or aim their shield to throw it like Captain America, whereas our human mage uses that same button to throw out magical ranged attacks. The warrior can parry incoming attacks, which can stagger enemies. The rogue gets a larger parry window. Our mage, however, can’t parry at all. Instead, they throw up a shield that blocks incoming attacks automatically so long as you have the mana to sustain it.

“What I see from Veilguard is a game that finally bridges the gap,” former Dragon Age executive producer Mark Darrah, who left BioWare in 2021 before joining the Veilguard team last year as a consultant, tells me. “Uncharitably, previous Dragon Age games got to the realm of ‘combat wasn’t too bad.’ In this game, the combat’s actually fun, but it does keep that thread that’s always been there. You have the focus on Rook, on your character, but still have that control and character coming into the combat experience from the other people in the party.”

“This is really the best Dragon Age game that I’ve ever played,” he adds, noting his bias. “This is the one where we get back to our roots of character-driven storytelling, have really fun combat, and aren’t making compromises.”

Watching Busche take down sentinels and legions of darkspawn on-screen, I can already sense Veilguard’s combat will likely end up my favorite in the series, although admittedly, as a fan of action games, I’m an easy sell here. It’s flashy, quick, and thanks to different types of health bars, like a greenish-blue one that represents barrier and is taken down most effectively with ranged attacks, a decent amount of strategy, even if you don’t use the pause-and-play combo wheel. Like the rest of the game, too, it’s gorgeous, with sprinkles, droplets, and splashes of magic in each attack our mage unleashes. Though I’m seeing the game run on a powerful PC, which is sure to be the best showcase of Veilguard, Epler tells me the game looks amazing on consoles - he’s been playing it on PlayStation 5 and enjoying it in both its fidelity and performance modes, but I’ll have to take his word for it.

Pressing Start

The start or pause screen is as important to a good RPG as the game outside the menus. Veilguard’s contains your map, journal, character sheets, skill tree, and a library for lore information. You can cross-compare equipment and equip new gear here for Rook and your companions, build weapon loadouts for quick change-ups mid-combat, and customize you and your party’s abilities and builds via an easy-to-understand skill tree. You won’t find minutiae here, “just real numbers,” Busche says. That means a new unlocked trait might increase damage by 25 percent against armor, but that’s as in-depth as the numbers get. Passive abilities unlock jump attacks and guarantee critical hit opportunities, while abilities add moves like a Wall of Fire to your arsenal (if you’re a mage). As you spec out this skill tree, which is 100 percent bespoke to each class, you’ll work closer to unlocking a specialization, of which there are three for each class, complete with a unique ultimate ability. Busche says BioWare’s philosophy here is “about changing the way you play, not statistical minutiae.”

Companion Customization

You can advance your bonds by helping companions on their own personal quests and by including them in your party for main quests. Every Relationship Level you rank up, shown on their character sheet, nets you a skill point to spend on them. Busche says the choices you make, what you say to companions, how you help them, and more all matter to their development as characters and party members. And with seven companions, there’s plenty to customize, from bespoke gear to abilities and more. Though each companion has access to five abilities, you can only take three into combat, so it’s important to strategize different combos and synergies within your party. Rhodes says beyond  this kind of customizable characterization, each companion has issues, problems, and personal quests to complete. “Bellara has her own story arc that runs parallel to and informs the story path you’re on,” Rhodes says.

In Entropy’s Grasp

As we progress through the forest and the current “In Entropy’s Grasp” mission, we finally find Bellara. She’s a veil jumper, the first companion you meet and recruit in-game (unlike Neve, who automatically joins), and the centerpiece of this issue’s cover image. Because our mage’s background is Veil Jumper, we get some unique dialogue. Bellara explains we’re all trapped in a Veil Bubble, and there’s no way out once you pass through it. Despite the dire situation, Bellara is bubbly, witty, and charming.

“When designing companions, they’re the load-bearing pillars for everything,” Rhodes says. “They’re the face of their faction, and in this case [with Bellara], their entire area of the world. She’s your window into Arlathan Forest.” Rhodes describes her as a sweetheart and nerd for ancient elven artifacts. As such ,she’s dressed more like an academic than a combat expert, although her special arm gauntlet is useful both for tinkering with her environment and taking down enemies.

Unlike Neve, who uses ice magic like our Rook and can slow down time with a special ability, Bellara specializes in electricity, and she can also use magic to heal you, something Busche says Dragon Age fans have been desperate to have in a game. Busche says if you don’t direct Neve and Bellara, they’re fully independent and will attack on their own. But synergizing your team will add to the fun and strategy of combat. Bellara’s electric magic is effective against Sentinels, which is great because we currently only have access to ice. However, without Bellara, we could also equip a rune that converts my ice magic, for a brief duration, into electricity to counter the Sentinels.

As we progress through Arlathan Forest, we encounter more and more darkspawn. Bellara mentions the darkspawn have never been this far before because the underground Deep Roads, where they usually escape from, aren’t nearby. However, with blighted Elven gods roaming the world, and thanks to Blight’s radiation-like spread, it’s a much bigger threat in Veilguard than in any Dragon Age before it.

I continue to soak in the visuals of Veilguard with Arlathan Forest’s elven ruins, dense greenery, and disgusting Blight tentacles and pustules; it’s perhaps the most impressive aspect of my time seeing the game, although everything else is making a strong impression, too. I am frustrated about having to watch the game rather than play it, to be honest. I’m in love with the art style, which is more high fantasy than anything in the series thus far and almost reminiscent of the whimsy of Fable, a welcome reprieve from the recent gritty Game of Thrones trend in fantasy games. Rhodes says that’s the result of the game’s newfound dose of magic.

“The use of magic has been an evolution as the series has gone on,” he says. “It’s something we’ve been planning for a while because Solas has been planning all this for a while. In the past, you could hint at cooler magical things in the corner because you couldn’t actually go there, but now we actually can, and it’s fun to showcase that.”

Busche, Epler, and Rhodes warn me that Arlathan Forest’s whimsy will starkly contrast to other areas. They promise some grim locations and even grimmer story moments because, without that contrast, everything falls flat. Busche likens it to a “thread of optimism” pulled through otherworldly chaos ravaging Thedas. For now, the spunky and effervescent Bellara is that thread.

As we progress deeper into the forest, Bellara spots a floating fortress and thinks the artifact needed to destroy the Veil Bubble is in there. To reach it, though, wem ust remove the floating rock rings, and Bellara’s unique ability, Tinker, can do just that by interacting with a piece of ancient elven technology nearby. Busche says Rook can acquire abilities like Tinker later to complete such tasks in instances where Bellara, for example, isn’t in the party.

Bellara must activate three of these in Arlathan Forest to reach the floating castle, and each one we activate brings forth a slew of sentinels, demons, and darkspawn to defeat. Busche does so with ease, showcasing high-level gameplay by adding three stacks of arcane build-up to create an Arcane Bomb on an enemy, which does devastating damage after being hit by a heavy attack. Now, she begins charging a heavy attack on her magical staff, then switches to magical daggers in a second loadout accessed with a quick tap of down on the d-pad to unleash some quick attacks, then back to the staff to charge it some more and unleash a heavy attack.

After a few more combat encounters, including one against a sentinel that’s “Frenzied,” which means it hits harder, moves faster, and has more health, we finally reach the center of the temple. Within is a particular artifact known as the Nadas Dirthalen, which Bellara says means “the inevitability of knowledge.” Before we can advance with it, a darkspawn Ogre boss attacks. It hits hard, has plenty of unblockable, red-coded attacks, and a massive shield we must take down first. However, it’s weak to fire, and our new fire staff is perfect for the situation.

After taking down this boss in a climactic arena fight, Bellara uses a special crystal to power the artifact and remove it from a pedestal, destroying the Veil Bubble. Then, the Nadas Dirthalen comes alive as an Archive Spirit, but because the crystal used to power it breaks, we learn little about this spirit before it disappears. Fortunately, Bellara thinks she can fix it - fixing broken stuff is kind of her thing, Epler says - so the group heads back to the Veil Jumper camp and, as interested as I am in learning what happens next, the demo ends. It’s clear that even after a few hours with the game’s opening, I’ve seen a nigh negligible amount of game; frustrating but equally as exciting.

Don’t Call It An Open World

Veilguard is not an open world, even if some of its explorable areas might fee like one. Gamble describes Veilguard’s Thedas as a hub-and-spoke design where “the needs of the story are served by the level design.” A version of Inquisition’s Crossroads, a network of teleporting Eluvians, returns, and it’s how players will traverse across northern Thedas. Instead of a connected open world, players will travel from Eluvian to Eluvian to different stretches of this part of the continent. This allows BioWare to go from places like Minrathous to tropical beaches to Arlathan Forest to grim and gothic areas and elsewhere. Some of these areas are larger and full of secrets and treasures. Others are smaller and more focused on linear storytelling. Arlathan Forest is an example of this, but there are still optional paths and offshoots to explore for loot, healing potion refreshes, and other things. There’s a minimap in each location, though linear levels like “In Entropy’s Grasp” won’t have the fog of war that disappears as you explore like some of Veilguard’s bigger locations. Regardless, BioWare says Veilguard has the largest number of diverse biomes in series history.

Dragon’s Delight

With a 10-hour day at BioWare behind me after hours of demo gameplay and interviews with the leads, I’m acutely aware of my favorite part of video games: the surprises. I dabbled with Origins and II and put nearly 50 hours into Inquisition, but any familiarity with the series the latter gave me had long since subsided over the past decade. I wanted to be excited about the next Dragon Age as I viewed each teaser and trailer, but other than seeing the words “Dragon Age,” I felt little. Without gameplay, without a proper look at the actual game we’ll all be playing this fall, I struggled to remember why Inquisition sucked me in 10 years ago.

This trip reminded me.

Dragon Age, much like the Thedas of Veilguard, lives in the uncertainty: The turbulence of BioWare’s recent release history and the lessons learned from it, the drastic changes to each Dragon Age’s combat, the mystery of its narrative, and the implications of its lore. It’s all a part of the wider Dragon Age story and why this studio keeps returning to this world. It’s been a fertile franchise for experimentation. While Veilguard is attempting to branch out in unique ways, it feels less like new soil and more like the harvest BioWare has been trying to cultivate since 2009, and I’m surprised by that.

I’m additionally surprised, in retrospect, how numb I’ve been to the game before this. I’m surprised by BioWare’s command over EA’s notoriously difficult Frostbite engine to create its prettiest game yet. I’m surprised by this series’ 15-year transition from tactical strategy to action-forward combat. I’m surprised by how much narrative thought the team has poured into these characters, even for BioWare. Perhaps having no expectations will do that to you. But most of all, with proper acknowledgement that I reserve additional judgment until I actually play the game, I’m surprised that Veilguard might just be the RPG I’m looking forward to most this year.

[tototalks]

And so here we are, the final ramble! I just wanna say a huge thank you to everyone who has been on this lil reading voyage with me and put up with my dumb memes lol. You’ve all been awesome! Special thanks go to @evilovesyou for getting me to read! 💙

(HAHAHA WTF DO I DO WITH MY LIFE NOW?! 😂)

My final King’s Rising thoughts 👑👑

- Gotta love Damianos, King of Akielos, looking down at a broken cart and being like “I’m too privileged to know how to fix this” while Lazar and Pallas fuck unsubtly in the background.

- LAMEN. CRYING. 😭😭😭 Laurent really chose Damen’s high school bully nickname.

- Charls is an actual MVP. He took one look at Laurent and understood the assignment. He’s a cousin to the King of Vere now. He is actually a part of the royal family. Ring bearer at the wedding. I don’t make the rules. And the absolute best part about it is that he never fuckin finds out 😂

- Laurent is having the absolute time of his life. He’s sat there TRASHING Nikandros and telling all these Akeilon sluts to cover their arms and accidentally reinventing the cloth trade. What a legend 😂

- The night they spend at the inn is so so significant. Laurent realising that he’s allowed to have desires and finally being asked what he wants. But also the undercurrent of being scared and confused by what turns him on because of his history. Damn I love that his traumatic experiences don’t disappear just because he has Damen now.

- I also need a whole book about their trip through Akeilos - Laurent being too pale and northern for the heat is SO real lol

- King Damianos promising to end slavery 🥲

- I need Laurent and Nikandros to become friends who tease each other ruthlessly.

- Okay so the kid is Kastor’s. I have to admit, I really do appreciate Jokaste and her sacrifices to a certain degree - not the whole degree - but a certain degree.

- Laurent giving himself over for Damen’s sake and the child. Holy shit the symbolism. Damen hearing the Regent confirm what he already kind of knew about Laurent and going apeshit, and Laurent realising he’s defending him. 💔

- “Throw up quick, we need to go.” Nikandros, I love you.

- Damen just WALKING IN to surrender. He really said all eyes on me you’re not gonna forget this.

- He stands up for Laurent against all the odds and I cannot even imagine what that felt like for Laurent.

- GUION YOU RAT ASS MOTHERFUCKER (I should have seen this coming.)

- And this is why you NEVER cross a mother about the ones she loves - the Regent is being taken down by every child he abused and that is exactly how I wanted him to fall. So satisfying.

- Paschal’s testimony and it all coming together. I ADORE how no character is forgotten or irrelevant once they die. Nicaise, Aimeric and even Govart were significant to the Regent’s downfall. The perfect evidence for the council to acquit Laurent and charge the Regent.

- I have to mention the 11 year old boy and how Laurent protects him when he sees him worry for the Regent upon his execution. He truly doesn’t understand what’s going on and the manipulation runs deep. Laurent broke that cycle of abuse.

- Kastor vs. Damianos - another fight that was always meant to happen and solidified that Kastor cannot be redeemed, even by Damen’s kindness.

- Laurent being the one to kill Kastor was only fitting. He’s fulfilled himself, Auguste, and Damen, and he used something so himself to do it. His wits. I really love that.

- And finally we have two legitimate kings, friends, and lovers. Ruling over two kingdoms that will probably end up one. An absolute perfect ending. ♥️

What an absolute ride. Shoutout C.S. Pacat for an awesome story ♥️…. I start the side stories Friday 😂 Y’all on tumblr have one more job, and that’s to fill my inbox with AO3 links 😉🥰 I have a character song playlist to curate lol

[isak-dot-gov]

Mic'd Up Pt.2

Pairing: Kelsey Plum x Reader

Word count: 1208

Part 1 - My Masterlist

.................................................

The next morning, you were jolted awake by your phone vibrating non-stop. Squinting at the screen, you saw a barrage of notifications—Twitter mentions, Instagram tags, and text messages from both friends and strangers alike. Dread mixed with curiosity as you opened your phone to see what all the fuss was about.

There it was: a notification from the Las Vegas Aces’ official YouTube channel.

“Kelsey's Biggest Fan: Mic’d Up!” the title read.

You bit your lip, heart racing as you clicked on the video. The screen lit up with the intro, and it didn’t take long before you saw yourself, front and centre. The video started with a slow-motion clip of you, wide-eyed and jumping out of your seat, shouting, “That’s my girl!” after Kelsey hit a three-pointer. A heart graphic floated above your head, and a cute caption popped up: “Biggest supporter in the house.”

As the video continued, it cut between clips of you and Kelsey’s jaw-dropping plays. Every reaction you’d had—cheering, fist-pumping, gasping at the refs’ bad calls—was captured in vivid detail. Your face flashed on the screen, excitement radiating, while the crowd erupted behind you. The editors had even added a dramatic slow-motion replay of you standing up and yelling, “Let’s go, Kelsey!” during a key moment in the game, complete with epic music in the background.

Your hands flew to your face, cringing at the full display of your emotions. The internet had seen it all. Your love for Kelsey. Your passion for the team. Your inability to sit still for more than five seconds when the Aces were on fire.

By the time the video ended, you were red-faced and laughing, even as the embarrassment settled in. The comments section was blowing up with fans reacting to your over-the-top enthusiasm:

“This is what love looks like!”

“Relationship goals AF.”

“Kelsey's girl is all of us when the Aces play!”

There were even memes already circulating. One showed you passionately screaming with the caption, “When you’re more hyped than the players themselves.” Another zoomed in on your face during a tense moment with the caption, “Me when the refs make a bad call.”

Your phone buzzed again, this time with a call from Kelsey. You braced yourself for the inevitable teasing.

“Hey, YouTube star!” Kelsey greeted, laughter bubbling in her voice. “Seen the video yet?”

You sighed dramatically, still blushing from the experience. “Yeah... I don’t know whether to be flattered or hide under a rock.”

Kelsey’s chuckle was warm, affectionate. “Oh, come on. It’s adorable. I think it’s safe to say the fans love you almost as much as I do.”

“‘Almost’?” you teased. “I think they might love me more after this.”

Kelsey laughed louder, her voice full of mischief. “Don’t push it. But seriously, the whole team’s seen it. A’ja’s been texting me non stop. She’s already planning ways to roast you at practice.”

You groaned, but you couldn’t help the smile forming. “Great. Just what I needed—A’ja Wilson making me the butt of every joke.”

“Oh, it’s not just A’ja,” Kelsey said, her tone almost too gleeful. “Chelsea’s already called dibs on the post-game interview next time, and Kate and Syd are coming up with new chants for you to yell. The whole team’s in on this.”

A notification popped up from A’ja’s Twitter: “Mic’d up AND famous? You’re a LEGEND now! #BringTheHype #CheerCaptain”

Before you could respond, Kelsey continued, “Anyway, we’ve got a team meeting later today. You might want to brace yourself.”

You hung up with a pit in your stomach, knowing full well you were about to walk into the lion’s den. Sure enough, when you arrived at the Aces’ training facility later that afternoon, the team was waiting for you.

The second you stepped into the locker room, A’ja’s booming voice greeted you. “Ayyy, here she is! The real MVP of last night’s game!”

The entire room erupted in laughter and cheers as the team gathered around you. A’ja threw her arm around your shoulders, pulling you into the centre of the locker room. “Y’all seen this video, right? Our girl was more hyped than the entire crowd combined!”

Jackie was right behind her, shaking her head with a grin. “Honestly, I don’t think we’ve ever had this much energy coming from the stands. We might need to mic her up every game.”

AC leaned casually against her locker, smirking. “I’ve been saying it since last night—she’s got more hype than the bench squad. We’re going to need her on the sidelines full-time.”

“Forget the mascot,” Megan added, laughing. “We’ve got our own hype woman.”

You could feel your face growing hotter by the second, but their teasing was good-natured, filled with warmth and camaraderie. The fact that the whole team had seen the video—and was getting this much joy from it—made it all the more embarrassing and heartwarming at the same time.

“Okay, okay, enough roasting,” Kelsey said, stepping forward with a playful smile. “I mean, I think we can all agree that having my personal cheerleader on blast last night helped us win, right?”

A chorus of agreement filled the room, and A’ja, never one to miss a moment, pointed at you dramatically. “You’re the reason we secured that dub! We need that energy every night.”

You couldn’t help but laugh, throwing your hands up. “Fine, I’ll accept the title of unofficial hype woman. But you better believe I’m charging for appearances.”

Chelsea winked at you. “First paycheck is going to be in popcorn and court-side seats.”

As the laughter died down, the team started gathering for their meeting, but A’ja wasn’t done just yet. “Yo, before we get serious, can we all agree that the next time she’s mic’d up, we get to pick the lines she has to yell?”

Jackie nodded, grinning. “Oh, for sure. I’m already writing down some good ones.”

Kelsey groaned, shaking her head but smiling. “I don’t know if I’m ready for this.”

After the meeting, Kelsey found you in the hallway, still laughing from the whirlwind of teasing. “You good?” she asked, sliding her arm around your waist.

“Yeah, I think I survived.” You leaned into her, feeling a wave of contentment settle over you. “Your teammates are ruthless, though.”

“Oh, trust me, I know,” she said, grinning. “But seriously, they love you. You’re part of the family now.”

As you walked toward the parking lot, your phone buzzed again, this time with a text from A’ja: “We need a full mic’d-up session next game. You down?”

You showed Kelsey the message, and she chuckled. “You gonna do it?”

You grinned. “You know what? I might just. But next time, I’m going even harder.”

Kelsey laughed, squeezing your hand. “Deal. Just don’t make me laugh too much while I’m trying to play.”

As you left the arena together, the warmth of being embraced by not just Kelsey but the whole Aces family stayed with you. Sure, you were the butt of some jokes now, but you wouldn’t trade that for anything. Being part of their world—even as the loud, slightly embarrassing cheerleader—felt like you belonged, and that meant more than anything. 

Plus, next game? You were definitely going to be the loudest fan in the building.

............................................................

[directionernullneun]

Part 3 - The Café

Here we go again. :)

This is the third Part to this: Part 2

Pairing: Idol!Jungkook x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Smut and a bit angst if you squint

Words: 3292

Cursiv - Italien; Bold - Korean

_______________________________

When you wake up the next morning it’s by the ringing of your alarm. You groan while turning around and pushing the snooze-button for 9 more minutes in heaven. You hear Jungkook soft breathing beside your ear, when you let yourself fall back into the cushions. His hand sneaks its way to your hips and pulls you closer again.

You sigh. God, you wish you could stay right here, but on Thursdays you have all the classes imaginable, and you were supposed to meet your best friend after that to study in the little café right beside campus. You were really looking forward to that the last few days, but now you could curse yourself for deciding to go for your masters degree. You sure as hell would have called in sick if you were working a normal job by now. 

You could still cancel on your friend, but you knew that you would feel bad about it later. With Jungkook being on the other side of the world his friends sometimes saw you more, than your own – so you tried to never cancel on them ones the day was set.

Your alarm went off again.

“Just stay..”, Jungkook mumbled behind you, letting his hand wander from your waist to your chest, softly squeezing one of your boobs. You chuckled lowly, cuddling closer for a second, before actually getting out of bed. Jungkook whine followed you into the bathroom and you threw a look back. Your boyfriend was sprawled out over the bed, his head under your pillow, one arm hanging over the bedside. Smiling you started to get ready for classes, grabbing one of Jungkooks weirdly soft Hoodies to throw on over your jeans and vans.

“Baby, I gotta go. Text me, when you wake up for real”, you whispered into his hair, kissing his head. Jungkook grabbed your wrist weakly, turning his head and motioned for a kiss, which you happily gave him.

“I can come meet Y/B/F/?”, he asked, blinking his eyes open for the first time today.

“If you want to, sure. There will be People though, we’re supposed to meet in the café”, you said, stroking through his hair.

“Don’t care. If it’s okay with her, I would like to be there – see you”, he answered, making your heart swell. You smiled, grabbing his hand, and kissing his knuckles. “I ask her and text you later, okay?”, you said, kissing his head again and finally standing up.

_________________________

Four hours later you were sitting in one of the most boring classes you ever witnessed. While your professor was talking on and on about everything in the free market, you were more engaged with your phone. Or more likely with the conversation you were holding with Jungkook.

J: Should have stay here. I more interesting. ;)

You: So true. But I can’t miss this class, I have to take an exam in it, and I have no idea what is going on.

J: ….

J: Sitting there helps?

You snorted, trying to cover it up with a cough. Jungkook was kinda right. Sitting here or trying to learn everything from the documents you were sure to receive from the professor would probably not make much of a difference. Your best friend smiled at you from the corner of her eyes, before shoving her phone in front of you.

 You know I wouldn’t be mad if you ditched me for Jungkook, right?

Your eyes started to water a bit, while reading the note. From the beginning she had been the most supportive from all your friends and family when it came to Jungkook. From figuring out, what your feelings towards the idol where, to booking flights and welcoming him in your group – she had been the true MVP.

I know. But I want to spend time with you, preferably both of you. So if you’re still okay with ending up on twitter, I’d love that.

You wrote, sliding the phone back. Your best friend grinned at that, threw her hair over one shoulder, and started typing.

Let’s see how many rumors there going to be if I am the affair.

You had to bite back a laugh at reading that. It would not be the first time that fans would state that.

You: Can you meet us at the cafè in like an hour?

J: Yeah, sure. 

J: Happy about it

J: Love you

You: < heart >

When you arrive at your meeting point after your gruesome class you where more than ready to dive into Jungkooks arms. Opening the door and holding it for your friend, you scanned the room before spotting him in one of the corners, three drinks already placed on the table in front of him. 

He smiled at both of you, hugging your friend tight, before animatedly telling her about remembering her order from last time. She laughed and took a deep swallow of her drink. “You did good, you actually did perfect. God, I want one like you too”, she mused. You smiled at their interaction grabbing Jungkooks hand and holding it tight. Your boyfriend offered her his big bunny smile before turning to you and kissing you deeply. “Missed you..”, he mumbled before pressing a seconds kiss on your lips and pulling you to his side of the table. After the first chit-chat between all of you had died down, you and your friend opened your papers, while Jungkook brought up his laptop.

“Uhh, careful big boy. That’s a Macbook, don’t you have a deal with Samsung?”, your friend teased, earning an eye roll from Jungkook. “Private time”, he said, throwing her a wink.  You smiled at that, throwing the listening waitress a glare. She had come to your table three times in the last 30 minutes only having eyes for Jungkook. You had grabbed his hand at her second visit, cuddling closer to him by the third. Having other women thirst over your boyfriend was something you would never get used to.

“She still watching?”, he asked, as he looked at your gaze.

“Listening in, actually.”

“Just kiss him and she will probably die a painful death”, your best friend said, turning around and raising her eyebrow at her.

“Na, I just need her to understand, that he is not public inventory, that can be touched and looked at by everyone”, you said, while Jungkook kissed your head.

“Just ignore her. Let’s start with whatever we must do, to understand what was going on in that class.” You snort at that and pull up your documents. While you and your friend try to figure out what was going on in your class, Jungkook puts his headphones on and zones into his laptop. 

Two hours later you have a headache coming on, a friend who is more concerned with getting spoilers about your boys’ new music than studying, at least two Teenagers taking pictures every time you so much as graze your boyfriends’ skin and absolutely no patience anymore. “Want to go?”, Jungkooks mumbles into your ear, while munching on one of the donuts he ordered for all of you.

“We can stay if you guys want. I’m just tired from people right now, I guess”, you state, while smiling softly.

“Nah, i am ready to go too. Productivity is over for today – or do you want to tell me, what that beat was you were working on?”, your friend says, grinning at Jungkook. You bite back a grin, while Kook only rolls his eyes.

“No.”, he states and closes his laptop dramatically. “Let’s go.”

You say goodbye in front of the café, grab Jungkooks hand and start to walk to your flat. Jungkook keeps chattering about all the little things he sees while roaming the streets of Verona and you smile through all of it. Your boy always had an eye for the things other people would never notice and seeing his eyes light up is the most endearing thing you have ever witnessed.

When you reach your flat, you dig out your key and Jungkook holds the door open for you to cross. Throwing your backpack into the corner you put your stuff on the Table and sigh. 

“You good?”, Jungkook asks while hugging you from behind.

“Yeah, just tired..”, you say while snuggling back into him. You close your eyes, feeling him kiss your hair and breath in deeply. Giving your neck a quick kiss, he navigates you to the couch and pushes you down.

“Sit down then. I’ll make food and then we can watch a movie?”, he asks and you swoon. What in the world made you so lucky, you found this man? “Sound perfect”, you say and grab a pillow to snuggle into. You spent the next hour in and out of conciseness, watching him cook up something from the ingredients you’ve got left and choosing one of the K-Dramas you had started to watch together in the last weeks. When your flat smells like the most delicious things ever he brings over two plates and you sit up.

“God, this looks good. Thank you so much”, you say before starting to eat. Throwing you a wink and holding your hand under the table, Jungkook starts to eat too, giving his opinions on the on-screen-couple every five seconds. You laugh at his chattering, loving the way his doe-eyes light up, his dimple showing itself and the genuine relaxed state he’s in. In the last three years you had seen him – and most of his members – in various mind states. High on new success, stressed out by the pandemic, totally overwork, carefree while dancing and drinking. You saw all the good and bad things but seeing him relaxed was your favorite thing in the whole world – well maybe the second favorite thing. Top of the chart would always be the smoldering looks he threw you here and there when you were out together. The hidden but lingering touches accompanied with a wink or a knowing grin – like right now. While the couple on the screen had just kissed for the first time, Kook leaned his head to the side and smirked at you.

“We could do that better?”, he asked while already leaning in. His lips meeting your teeth because you couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. His shocked expression made you laugh even more, cuddling into his side and hiding your face in his neck.

“No better, that was worse...”, he mumbled while lowly chuckling and pulling you onto his lap. Putting your leg on either side of his hips you leaned up to look down at your boy. His hair wasn’t styled, falling into his eyes a bit. Pushing one of the strands back you leaned down to give him a real kiss.

“Better?”

“Yeah. Need more.”

Letting his hands roam over your knees up to your hips and softly squeezing your butt, Jungkook kept kissing you, muttering small affirmations. You couldn’t help but shiver, when his hands wandered under your (his) hoodies pulling it up, only leaving your lips, to get the piece of clothing over your head. Throwing it over the back of the couch, he leaned his head back, looking at you with soft eyes.

“Let me love you?”

You sighed. Your day had neither been bad or extremely good and sex hadn’t been on your mind at all. Seeing him under you let your blood rise either way but you where way too comfortable to actually do something about it. You looked at him, felt his hands under the shirt you’ve been wearing beneath his hoodie and feeling your heart stutter. He was just the most beautiful and thoughtful guy on this planet, and you knew he’d be perfectly happy with just cuddling you. But you couldn’t deny that you wanted to feel his skin on yours, the thought of his breathless moans making you squirm in his lap.

“Just..Slow, please?”, you whispered, bumping his nose with yours. His eyes widened and he shook his head. Confused you raised your eyebrows sitting up abruptly. Was he actually serious right now? Trying to get up from his lap, he grabbed you by the waist and pulling you close. 

“No, no. We don’t need..I don’t…Let’s just cuddle. We don’t need to have sex. Don’t be mad, please. I’d never make you. Just wanted to help you relax, I never meant anything else, please”, he said, hiding his head between your shoulder and your neck. Your heart was still pounding. You actually had thought for a moment, that he didn’t want to take it slow. You should know he would have never meant it that way, but who knew? 

“Kook, it’s okay. I just thought by shaking your head you meant, you don’t want to go slow”, you said, kissing and stroking his hair.

“Always slow, love slow. Everything you want. I’d never say no to that, i was shaking my head, because I thought you thought you had to say yes. You don’t need to, you know. Never what I want, always want what you want”, he answered and looked up at you. His eyes as big as they got, he was starring up at you, searching for his answer. You smiled down at him grabbing his face between your hands and pressing a deep kiss to his lips. “I know. We’re okay, Kook”, you whispered while looking into his eyes. He visibly relaxed in your hold, leaning his head down beneath your chin. You rested your cheek on his head, caressing his back. His hands drawing circles on the skin of your hips, never straying higher or lower. “I want to sleep with you, but I also kind of don’t want to move”, you say. “Don’t move, just sit here. On me”, Jungkook replies, moving his head so he can see your eyes. His hands grip your hips, slowly moving them back and forth and you groan into his neck. He knows exactly that you love riding him, love having his cock inside you as long as you want. “Need to get naked for that”, you whisper, his heated gaze meeting yours. “No problem”, and before you can outer another word, your shirt is off, his following seconds after. He squeezes your butt softly, pushing you up a bit, so he can get your pants open and further down. Laughing you let yourself fall to the side to help him get the offending piece of clothing of. Your panties leave your body soon after before Jungkook grabs you and pulls you over his lap again. 

Kissing you, he reaches down between your legs, stroking your already wet folds and slowly pushing one of his long fingers in. You moan quietly and let you head fall onto his shoulder, while moving your hips on his finger.

“Yeah, baby. Keep going, take what you need”, he whispers in your ear, his breathy sounds creating shivers down your back and over your legs. You whimper, when he moves to push a second finger inside you, moving his other hand to your boob, squeezing it softly before opening his jeans with one hand, pulling his already hardening cock out. You watch him stroke himself from above, his fingers closing around the thick head, twisting his wrist the way you know he loves. You loosen your grip on his shoulder, stroking down his chest and put your hand right above his, caressing his length together, while his fingers keep up their steady rhythm inside you. 

“Inside me…Kook, please. Inside me”, you plead. Jungkook groans as you push your thump over the slit on his head, collecting the steady stream of precum flowing out. His fingers leave you – not without your protest – but he needs both of his hands, to rid himself of his jeans and underwear. You stand up, helping him remove the pieces, throwing them beside the couch the second their off.

“My socks, baby”, Jungkook laughs, as you push him back on the couch, straddling his hips and grabbing his cock.

“Nobody cares about your socks, right now. Trust me”, you answer seconds before the most obnoxious moan leaves your mouth. Sitting down on his cock always reminds you, why you love this exact position. Feeling him stretch you out, his hips under your legs, his hands on your ass, mouth loving on your boobs, you could happily stay like this forever. Jungkooks hands wandering from your ass to your hips, moving them back and forth brings you back to reality. You open your eyes, locking gazes with your boyfriends’ sparkling eyes. Sweat coating his hairline, he leans his head back against the couch and pulls you right against his chest.

“You said you don’t want to move, so let me do the work, women”, he grumbles into your ear, before his hips snap up and he pushes himself deeper inside you. You moan again, whimpering his name while clinging to his neck. Rotating your hips on him, he pushes in and out of you with slow but deep thrusts – exactly how you wanted him to. The problem? You kind off don`t want it slow anymore. You want his hips to slam into yours, want to feel him cum so deep inside you. 

“Faster, Kook. Please, want to feel you cum.”

He groans beneath you, following your wishes asap. Throwing your head back, you sit up, moving with him, making you hot all over. His hands wander from your hips to your boobs, pinching your nipples. You shiver, your muscles already starting you contract at the feeling. “Can feel how close you are, cum for me baby. Wanna make you feel good”, he says, sneaking his hands between the two of you, finding your clit. You can feel yourself nearing your high and when he starts to fuck you in earnest, never leaving your gaze you fall. Jungkooks hands encircle your waist, holding you through your orgasm and leaving kisses all over your head and shoulders. You feel yourself clear up and sit back up. “Wanna feel you too, take what you need, baby”, you whisper in his ear, raising up on your knees and dropping back down on him. Jungkook head falls on his chest, eyes closed, hands gripping your waist. He groans, opening his eyes back up and watching his cock disappear inside you. You feel him twitch, his body tensing up a second later and filling you with his warm cum. It takes a minute or two for both of you to come down, sharing soft kisses before you get up and giggle about his cum running down your legs. You make your way to your bathroom, taking care of business and pulling your hair into a new bun. 

When your back in the living room, Jungkook has already moved all the dishes into the kitchen and apparently grabbed your clothes and neatly folded them onto the couch. Standing butt-naked in the door to your bedroom he holds out his hands and pulls you closer when you grab it. “Bedtime? Can watch movie from there?”, he asks and kisses you on your nose. You sigh. Your boyfriend is just perfect.

“Yeah, let’s go. But you have to cuddle me.”

“Deal.”

And when you look at your phone an hour later, cuddled up under the blankets with Kook laughing at one of his favorite Youtubers beside you, you don’t care that your little café-date actually ended up trending on twitter. #JKslovetrip makes you smile to yourself and for the first time you like scrolling through your timeline when you see yourself on there.

…. even if your best friend is somehow again rumored to be the affair.

[whumped-by-glitter]

Chapter 1, Part 5: "You Passed"

⚠️ CW: Institutionalized Slavery, Dehumanization, Food Whump, Poisons, Starvation, Degrading Self-Talk, ANGST..... Please let me know if I missed anything.

As always, thank you @3-2-whump for beta reading. You're the real MVP for sifting through all of my run-ons and the endless back and forth of ideas... Thanks for the feedback and ideas to @aloafofbreadwithanxiety and @generic-whumperz as well!

Story Under The Cut

Masterlist

⏮️ Previous

The Mutt stayed back a moment, still savoring those two small words. Once he evened himself, he too walked out of the room. He had an hour with no specific orders. The dog already knew what he was going to do with it.

He snuck past the living area, making sure not to be seen by Balor. This wasn’t too much of a task though, Balor was dense, and Dog was quiet.

He had plenty of practice from that time his master accidentally left him on orders of complete silence for almost a year. For almost a year, any time he so much as stepped too hard the bands would tear into him. Ever since then he’s been hyper aware of every sound he made.

Easy as sugar tree bake, he was past. He first went to the kitchens and grabbed mostly fruits and raw vegetables. Those would probably go unnoticed and be the easiest to explain if they didn’t.

Dog didn’t even need to look for Boy. The boy was in the back kitchen washing dishes. The gut-wrenching realization hit him, as a flash of anger had to be tamped down. They put the starved child to work in the kitchen.

The mongrel took hold of Boy’s wrist and led him downstairs, down the marble staircase to the wine cellar.

“Eat,” he urged, shoving the food at him.

“But won’t we………”

Dog cut Boy off, “I’ll take full responsibility, just eat, please.”

“T-thank you.” Boy slid down the wall, too exhausted to argue and scarfed down the meager meal. “You’re not going to have lunch?”

Dog’s stomach churned, food would probably help the poisons, but his master hadn’t said he could. “No, Master needs me back in an hour, I don’t want to feel weighted down,” he replied smoothly.

Boy nibbled at a carrot as the dog felt him analyzing him, “What is it he is always pulling you away for anyway? You have been holed up in that room for hours this morning.”

“You know better than to ask,” the Mutt replied. He changed the subject quickly, “You should come up with a hair style this evening, you could use a haircut.” The others didn’t need to know about the poisons, he especially wanted to protect Boy from the truth. A truth Boy himself narrowly missed. He pushed down the bitter memories of his 10-year-old self with the 3-year-old version of the kid in front of him.

Boy paused for a moment then agreed, “It is getting long, isn’t it?” He played a bit with the short braid the dog hastily put it up in this morning.

Dog nodded, “Mmmhmm, I’ll ask master for some scissors and a razor later. Now eat, and seriously, don’t worry about the consequences, I’ve got it covered.”

“I’m eating, I’m eating,” the boy chuckled a bit.

The sound filled the dog’s chest with warmth. He didn’t fully understand it, but it felt nice. He wanted to always protect that warm sound, since the first day he heard it all those years ago. Dog patted his cheek a bit before putting his mask of void back on to go back upstairs. He wouldn’t want to mess up and act like something other than a tool in front of his master. The thought came forward somewhat more resentful than expected.

The dog reentered the familiar room and was instantly hit with the smell of food. His stomach growled loudly, but he pushed the hunger pain away and sat in his usual seat. His posture was rigid as he slowed his breathing to prevent extra movement, he rested his arms on the metal plates, ready to be restrained, should his master desire it.

He kept his gaze on the floor, analyzing the familiar tiles in front of him. The faded blue green stone caught the afternoon light from the window, making them glimmer a bit. When he looked carefully, he could occasionally see the small fossils of snails and tiny crustaceans long dead. He vaguely wondered, as always, what their life may have been like before they became trapped in stone. ‘Was it happier life than my own?’

The door opened loudly, startling him. The sound snapped the dog’s attention back to the present. His master strode in, placing a table in front of him once again. He inwardly flinched; this meant more poison. ‘Probably’ he thought glumly, answering his own question about the snail.

His master sat a tiny portion of food in front of him. “Eat it.” He said simply.

The mutt complied, slowly, thoughtfully holding it in his mouth. He knew better than to wolf the food down by now, no matter how hungry he might be. A flavor arose from the bit of casserole, a flavor that did not quite belong, proving his instincts correct. It was slightly bitter, maybe a little sour? That could be the cream though. It was barely there against the other flavors of the casserole. There was also a slight musty taste to it, that was the giveaway.

“Lim,” he said measuredly, keeping his tone neutral. Lim was a root, similar to a potato, which made it easy to hide in a dish such as this. “Lim is a slow acting poison. It has to be fed to the victim over days or weeks. By the time it’s noticed there is no way to treat it.”

This went on dish after dish. Some were mixed with several poisons in one dish. The end was in sight when another potato dish was sat in front of him. He tested, he instantly found the Lim, but he continued to hold it in his mouth, careful not to assume that’s the only poison in it. Soon his tongue started going numb, there was another poison.

“Lim and Caecus,” he announced, voice shaking slightly. Poison resistance did not mean he had complete immunity; he was fast reaching his limit.

His mast still said nothing. Nothing…. He deeply wanted was praise…. The poisons hurt, he felt like he swallowed knives and needles…. Yet another dish was sat in front of him, a dessert. Finally, it was almost over….

He bit into sample of cherry bar. It was tart, as expected with cherry, but there was a sourer tone to it. There was an exceptionally sour smell emanating from it as well. “Balla wood berry.”

His master added the dish to the stack on the tray and walked out without saying a word. The dog choked back the sick feeling building inside of him. He knew this was the only food he was going to get today and was desperately trying to keep it down. His master also usually punished him for getting sick after taking poisons, he wanted so bad to be good. He badly wanted his master’s approval; it would make the sick feeling much better.

Finally, his master came back in. The dog clinched his jaw with nerves, barely containing a flinch as he listened to his master’s footsteps cross the room to him. He found himself holding his breath as he walked in the front of him.

“Mutt…” his master passed, as if looking for the words, “You passed. You have correctly identified all of the poisons, even under stress.”

His master sounded pleased, his master has never sounded so pleased… the dog’s eyes began to water involuntarily, getting touched with the ring was just part of the test. He wasn’t bad after all!

“Good boy, I’m proud of you.” His master patted his cheek with a gloved hand, “as a reward I’ll let you go back to your quarters early.”

The mutt began to tear up, he’d never in his life had ever been told someone was proud of him, let alone his master. This was well beyond the praise he had hoped for. He completely forgot about being sick. The emotions welled up inside of him, threatening to overflow. He decided he would ask for the hair cutting supplies later and stood, immediately dropped to his knees in a reverent bow.

“T-thank you Master,” he replied, pushing his voice to be as flat as possible.

His master did not respond, instead the Tallisian turned and walked out of the room, leaving the Mutt alone.

When his master was out of ear shot, he let himself overflow. “This slave, this mutt, he was good!!!!” he yelled as loud as his ruined throat let him. “He made Master PROUD!! PROUD, Master was PROUD!” he sobbed, it was so surreal to hear those words. He just sat on the floor sobbing. Something strange happened, his lips stretched, his face felt weird…. Was this what a smile felt like? He sat on the floor of his master’s office, grinning and sobbing like a fool. He didn’t usually talk in the third person when he was alone, but it just felt right. He was finally a useful tool. He had made his master PROUD.

Next 🔜

Masterlist

@whumpsandbumps, @whumperofworlds, @skittles-the-whumpee, @wounds-seen-and-unseen, @emptycalories-splitlip

@pigeonwhumps, @i-eat-worlds, @starfields08000, @onlywhump, @snakebites-and-ink

@turvuren, @whumps-and-bumps, @paingoes, @spectral-whumpy-writer, @vampiresprite

@whumping-in-the-dark

As usual, just let me know if you want to be added or removed from my taglist.

[eightmakesonebraincell]

Hai Loren :3 I’m back with questions about our 8 boyfriends hehe 🤭 hope you dont mind lol (feel free to just ignore this if you do btw!!) also hope you’re having a lovely day/night!

This is for both or either of our hockey boys or our surfers honestly, since the story we read is from y/n’s pov (which of course) we never get to see how the boys really end up together in the first place! And I’m just curious how those conversations went, how the realization happens yknow hehe

Like at what moment did they realize all of them were in love? And then did they all sit down and talk about it? Heat of the moment type thing where two or all of them suddenly started kissing/confessing their love? Or did maybe only two of them got together first and then yknow- started adding on lol hehe

Im just so in love with your stories and truly I always wanna know more 😭 cant get enough honestly!! I have another question but I’ll leave that for another day hehe

Mkay thats all from me this timeee 💕💕💕

ngl i never worked out the logistics of it all bc it was too hard HAHAHA 🤡

i think for our surfer boys, it definitely started off as smaller pairings within the whole group of eight, particularly yungi considering their history 🥹🫶 but the more they hung out as a group, sort of like what was explored in the fic, the more their affection for one another naturally grew from platonic to not platonic without them really realising

the moment everything fell into place was definitely after that summer they spent as the full nine of them for the first time and the boys went back to seoul, where it became a very real possibility that they all might like mc. and because i'm a hoe for ✨healthy communication✨ they all sat down and talked things out, which would also be when they established their poly relo

as for our hockey boys, it was probably more a case of circumstances bringing them together and forcing them to reckon with their feelings. the rough times they went through, particularly that first rookie year, probably led to a lot of intimate comfort that exceeded what normal teammates/friends would give 👁️🫦👁️

i actually reckon as a result the team would've had a period of awkwardness where they were all tip-toeing around one another and working out what their feelings were / what the intentions of the others were until somebody (probably mingi lol mvp when it comes to catalysing discussions ✊) got sick of it and was like wHaT arE We, then cue discussion

[singsweetmelodies]

Annual Piarles Winter Fic Exchange: 2023/24

Hello fellow Piarlies ❤️💙 Thank you so much for your interest in the idea of a second winter fic exchange centred around our French and French-adjacent boys. All arrangements, sign-up details and explanations for the exchange can be found beneath the cut!

How does the exchange work?

Exactly the same as last year’s Winter Fic Exchange! We are heading into the winter break again, and we thought it would be cool if we could inspire another flood of Piarles-flavoured content to lift our spirits and make us miss F1 a little less over the break. Besides, who doesn’t love a present? Especially if that present is a fanfiction written just for you.

So how this works is: you sign up, submit your prompts for what you’d like to read in a gift fic, and then after sign-ups close, we’ll assign you a partner to write for. Someone else will have been assigned to write for you, so on the due date, you’ll post a gift fic and receive a gift fic of your own. 🎁

When are the deadlines and due dates?

Sign-ups are open as of now, and will remain open until the 23rd of November 2023 (AKA, the Thursday before the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix.) After that point, we will close sign-ups and collect everyone’s prompts.

Assignments will be sent out by the 27th of November (AKA, the Monday right after the final F1 race on the 2023 calendar.) You will then have all of December and half of January to work on your gift fics. 

Gift fics are due to be posted on the 16th of January 2023, though we do want this to be a fun and no-real-pressure exchange for everyone, so if we notice that people are struggling to finish in time for the deadline, we will simply shift it up by a week. We can do this as many times as necessary for everyone to finish comfortably and produce a fic you know your giftee will enjoy. 💙

What are the posting instructions for the gift fics?

There aren’t a whole lot of really specific or strict rules in this exchange, but the two we would like people to take note of are the following:

This is a Piarles fic exchange, so the main focus of your fanfiction should be the romantic relationship between Pierre Gasly and Charles Leclerc. Background pairings are allowed as long as the primary focus of your fic is still the dynamic between Charles and Pierre. (There will be a space in the sign-up form to indicate which background pairings you do and don’t like. Please note, however, that there is no requirement to write any background pairings if you don’t want to.)

The minimum word count for this exchange is 2k (2000) words. There is no cut-off or maximum word count, but we do ask that you try and write a one-shot instead of a multi-chapter if at all possible (unless you are posting a multi-chapter fic which is already complete by the time of posting.) 

We will do a more detailed post with AO3 collection details and final deadline/timezone instructions closer to the actual deadline. ❄

Is this a fic-only exchange, or can we create art as well?

This is indeed a fic-focused exchange, so in order to participate, we do request that everyone creates a fic that meets the 2k minimum. If you’re inspired to create art of any kind to go along with your fic, though, then you are more than welcome to do so! In fact, you’d be the MVP if you did. 🎁

How does prompting work in this exchange?

There will be a space in the sign-up form for you to submit two different prompts. Prompts can be anything from AU ideas (eg. coffee shop AU) to dialogue (eg. “Shut up” // “Make me”) to tropes or themes (eg. enemies to lovers). Anything goes, pretty much! Our only request is that you submit two completely different prompts - this is just to give your gift writer options.

As a gift writer, you can write either of the two prompts, or even go for some sort of creative combination of them both. It’s completely up to you!

There will be a space where you can provide an explicit/smutty prompt if you want, but please note that your gift writer is not required to include any explicit content in their fic unless they’re comfortable with doing so. 💙

What if I get prompts I really can’t write?

Not to worry - if you really don’t vibe with any of the prompts you have been given, you can get in touch with one of the mods and we will reach out to your giftee to provide an additional prompt or two. If things are still not working, we might reach out to someone else and have you swap giftees entirely. We want everyone to have a great time in this exchange, both in the writing and receiving parts of it!

We understand that sometimes life gets in the way, though, and you might not be able to fulfill your prompts for other reasons. We hope it doesn’t happen, but if you need to drop out of the exchange for any reason, please just let one of our mods know so we can arrange a pinch-hitter to step in and write your giftee’s fic in your place. ❄

Who are the mods for this exchange?

We have the wonderful team of @singsweetmelodies, @boxboxbrioche, @welightitup, @duquesademiel, @wolfiemcwolferson and @river-ocean running things for this exchange! 💙

Where and how do I sign up?

All you have to do is fill out this Google form! Additional relevant information will be shared on the Calamars Club Discord server, so if you are not already part of that server, please message a mod for the invite link. 

@ Pierre/Charles shippers across Discord, Tumblr and AO3: we hope that this exchange will make you all smile over the winter break! We are so excited to share this with you all 🎁

[cosmiccannibalcamille]

YOUR Mars in Gemini HOROSCOPE

What: Mars in Gemini

When: July 20 – Sept. 4, 2024

Who’s Impacted: EVERYONE, but especially Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) and Mutable Signs (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces)

Takeaway: Six weeks of hyperactivity and heightened energy. Expect to think, talk, and move fast.

     For roughly six weeks, the pace of life has been steadily plodding along, thanks to Mars in Taurus, but a head-spinning change-of-pace is heading your way. On July 20, action planet Mars enters versatile air sign Gemini, promising a tailspin of activity until Sept. 4, 2024. This movement of Mars into Gemini marks the beginning of a significant chapter in the book of 2024, wherein Mars is both the protagonist, the villain, and the MVP. You can read more about why this is in this debut article on Cosmic Buffet. Anyway!

Mars in Gemini Meaning & Upside

     The keywords for Mars are heat, activity, movement, and motivation. Now, some Gemini keywords are: curiosity, versatility, duality, imagination, change, and communication—which, by extension, includes: writing, speaking, learning, sharing, social media and broadcast media. Mars is a fiery planet driven by a desire for action; Gemini is an air sign driven by the need to stimulate the mind. When you combine these aspects of Gemini with these aspects of Mars, you can begin to see the picture of Mars in Gemini: your curiosity, versatility, and need for change, information, and chit-chats are hella activated.

     Like, for REAL. During Mars in Gemini, your eagerness to consume information and share what you learn / think is at an all-time high, so is your desire to be and stay on the go. Brainstorming and making new connections is favored, and you might notice your head spinning with new ideas, new pursuits, and new goals (because Mars is also the planet of aims and goals).

     Basically, from now through September, you can expect to be flit about and flirt with new concepts, plans, and people, without feeling like you need to (or can) commit yourself to any one person or thing. Because commitment isn’t really Gemini’s thing. As a mutable sign, Gemini needs constant movement and change to feel alive. It’s this same mutability that we get the downside of Mars in Gemini.

Mars in Gemini Downside

    Mars in Gemini is like a HUGE cup of coffee. Buuut like a giant cup of coffee, it has its not-so-pleasant after-effects. So, what happens when you guzzle a huge cup of coffee and get that surge of caffeine? You are vivified and oh-so ready to: make a list of all your (many, varied) goals, redecorate your room, schedule a Zoom meeting with your coworkers, write that email that should’ve been sent three weeks ago, text your sister, your bestie, your aunt… Then the caffeine wears off, and suddenly you’re surrounded by a multitude of unfinished projects and unwanted commitments. And since you got yourself mentally worked up with all that writing and talking, you just…crash. 

Get the FULL SCOOP on 2024 Mars in Gemini, including KEY DATES for the transit and HOROSCOPES on the Cosmic Almanac:

[andr0nap-wf]

jade shadows spoilers

ohboy.

okay so.. uh..? well that was certainly a quest? rn im just kinda.. sitting here very confused. im not sure what to feel

i guess it... was not as bad as i thought it would be but its still very ???its. a quest. that exists and you can play through.

idk im having a lot of conflicting emotions rn what the fuck is going on

incredible how this quest explains exactly nothing at all about the stalker but congrats on becoming a single dad??? i guess?????????? HOW IS THIS EVEN A THING??? WHAT? (this reveal was funny more than anything)

why is he still a bootlicker tho??? if jade was his wife and theyve both (+unborn child) been turned into warframes you should be on the same boat as us, you fucking dickhead??? HELLO???? THIS MAKES ZERO SENSE??????

YOUVE BEEN ALL TURNED INTO WARFRAMES HOW AND WHY WERE YOU STILL LOYAL TO THE OROKIN?? DO YOU HEAR ME??? IS ANYONE THERE??? ITS SO DARK IN HERE

AND WE FOUND OUT NOTHING ABOUT JADE IN THIS QUEST??? IM SORRY WOMEN YOU DID NOT FUCKING DESERVE THIS

you truly just turned a whole ass cool warframe into... nothing. a womb with a tragic backstory we dont know about. its so???? THIS WOULDVE BEEN MORE BEARABLE IF SHE WAS AN ACTUAL CHARACTER IN THIS??? REPLACE HER WITH A CARDBOARD CUTOUT AND NOTHING CHANGES. THIS THE REAL TRAGEDY OHMYGOD

im just... WUH??? HUHHH???

the new corpus lady??? she looks cool as hell and im in love but also what the fuck was that???? fucking divine intervention??? did some angel descend from the fucking heavens to whisper in your ear to hold fire and step aside??? WAS IT JADE??? WHATS GOING ON???

also why does it feel like this quest just kinda cuts off half way?? it ends is so abruptly it added to the whiplash tenfold

positives:

if no one got me i know the banger ost got me

new corpus lady. captian xeto you deserved better than this quest also if you’re reading this i am free on thursday night. if you would like to hang out i am free on thursday night when i am free to hang out. i am free to hang out on thursday night so if you want to hang out on thursday night i am free.

single dad stalker purely for the comedic potential and nothing else

whispers in the walls replayability. the true MVP of this entire update

im not even sure how to feel ab jade as a warframe now. like i still want to try her out but this quest kinda... maybe not soured my thoughts on her but like. shes here. cool?

she shouldve been the main character of this quest and not stalker (esp since. again. this whole thing tells us nothing about him in the end)

what was the point of this quest? like thanks for the new warframe and even more questions??? i guess????

ANYWAY. im going to replay witw now. as a palate cleanser :')

[elodieunderglass]

Hi!

I have enjoyed your posts about salsify and would very much like to inflict salsify seeds on my nearest and dearest for them to grow. Do you have any recommended suppliers of seeds? I am in the UK.

Thank you!

In reference to this post about there being food plants you rarely find in shops, because they don’t meet the needs of supermarket supply chains, like white salsify, a plant that bleeds red sticky latex when bruised.

Seed buying season usually starts around December, unless you’re planning a bulk order as part of a collective, so many of these places won’t have their final 2023 collections up. Here are the companies I like best and why.

MoreVeg: https://moreveg.co.uk/epages/bd0b9b93-06b9-4b49-9efb-f179fdacfbdd.mobile/?ObjectPath=/Shops/bd0b9b93-06b9-4b49-9efb-f179fdacfbdd SALSIFY: SOMETIMES, CHECK BACK IF IT ISN’T THERE.

What I like about MoreVeg is that she

1. Only sells a small amount for a cheaper price, I.e. 3 pumpkin seeds, because let’s be real, you aren’t really growing more than 3 pumpkins of the same type at the same time: you want lots of different ones. So, like, while other people sell you an absurd amount of runner bean seeds, like 324 or something wild, she puts 20 in a packet, because that’s what a normal person would want.

2. She writes a little handwritten note in the packet and it makes me feel like she really remembers me every year 🥹

3. She carries some lines I like, like she GETS having weird decorative pumpkins in a way that most British people don’t.

4. She does cheaper collections of useful things, like green manure collections, pollinator-friendly bloom collections, meadow flowers for cutting collections, “carrots of all colors,” all nicely portioned and cheaper.

5. I personally don’t care hugely about everything being heirloom, so it’s nice that she has a mixture.

RealSeeds: https://www.realseeds.co.uk SALSIFY: check back if not there!

The real MVPs. You guys know how I love and value graunchy 1990s websites, right? I love and value the RealSeeds website. From their Art Nouveau paper packets (plastic free!) to the way that they throttled orders during the COVID seed rush to keep staff safe, everything they do is extremely thoughtful and ethical. (Lots of people see the title and think they’re associated with RareSeeds, the USA-based Mennonite heirloom seed people, but they’re not: this is a UK-based band of unproblematic heirloom seed fanatics.) They’re in the business of supplying, preserving, testing and promoting rare heirloom seeds, and do not carry ANY hybrids.

1. Probably the best and funniest part of their business model is how they constantly try to convince you to stop buying seeds from them, because you should really save and grow your own seeds, instead of buying them. I love businesses that try to talk you out of participating in capitalism.

2. This is where I got my Glass Gem popping corn from (and I did indeed save my own seeds to plant the following year!) As nowhere else in the UK carries them.

3. As you may have gathered, I’m a big fan of using The Best Plant For The Job (Rather Than Killing Myself Having All My Plants Be Unproblematic.) so I am not HUGELY concerned about using hybrids for some of my favourite reliable plants - like for example the Summer Ball F1 hybrid courgette, which meets all of my needs so perfectly that I’m just NOT going to wrestle with trying to get all those properties I like in an heirloom that will make my life harder. I’m just not. I already have a day job in saving the world, not everything has to be perfect. However, I really support RealSeeds, so I do my best to buy as much as possible from them - while also putting them out of business, by saving my own seed where it makes sense.

4. All of their listings are so brilliantly and awesomely written and formatted in EXACTLY the style I like, like, please read these: https://www.realseeds.co.uk/otherbeans.html

5. They do a lot of interesting work trying to source heirlooms from around the world and select strains that can produce in the UK’s environment. Glass Gem, for example, is one of the only “Indian corns” you can grow in the UK, and RealSeeds selected the other! They also carry things like edamame, rainbow quinoa, and a particularly productive strain of amaranth - food plants from around the world that don’t mind settling in the UK. I also love how whenever the staff eat something like “a particularly tasty squash they’ve never seen before” in their travels abroad, they find the grower and ask respectfully to trade seeds.

Victoriana Nursery wouldn’t normally stand out in this crowd on seeds, they just don’t have the selection, I see their big strength as being in fruit trees and fruit bushes: but have a great collection of offbeat herbs for natural remedies: https://www.victoriananursery.co.uk SALSIFY: YES

Raid their catalogue for things like dyer’s chamomile (which makes a yellow dye) bergamot (for making your own Earl Grey?) and the original Marsh Mallowroot (a distinctive herb whose flavor is obvious if you think about it!)

King’s Seeds UK in association with Suffolk Herbs: https://www.kingsseeds.com SALSIFY: YES

Our allotment community goes in on a yearly seed order: bulk seed orders that meet a minimum order threshold can get up to 50% discount on seeds. The committee are very keen on pressing the paper catalogues into your hands, with bulk order forms already tucked inside. I got the 50% bulk discount this year, which worked out okay.

1. Their selection is very no-nonsense and the varieties are all the kind of very productive, market-garden old reliables - not very bold or sexy. Honestly? If you mean to be serious about growing food, that’s what the bulk of your land should prioritise. It’s fun to mess around the edges with black tomatoes and purple carrots and experiments in growing heirloom quinoa, and you should DEFINITELY do all of that!!! but if you mean to be serious and have enough vegetables to make chutneys or preserves, open up a catalogue like this one and look for high reliability and disease resistance.

[ellecdc]

Elle!!! I have great news I think! I wasn’t planning on reading the “dear your holiness” fic cause I’m an exclusive xreader type of girl BUT for your sake I skipped to the last chapter of the fic to see the ending. It is very much so a happy ending, I just skimmed through the last chapter but from what I gathered there’s a lot of closure, tying of loose ends, and just overall acceptance, love, and happy fluffy goodness:))

I hope this helps!!

FOR MY SAKE?!?!?!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Omg that is just the sweetest damn thing. Not all heroes wear capes, folks 😭😭😭

So between this, and I also had a lovely person slide into my DM’s and spoil everything for me (I asked them too and appreciate it very very much) it has been decided that I will read Dear Your Holiness 🙂‍↕️

I’m currently about 1/2 through Language Lessons by MollyMaryMarie so it’s next on my list to read 🫶

THANK YOU MY LOVE, you’re the real MVP 😭😭