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almostfoxglove ¡ 1 day ago
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ALI FAKHSDJGKH okay it's taken me 100 years to reblog this but I WANTED TO QUOTE SO MANY PARTS IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO NARROW THEM DOWN. holy shit. this was??? EVERYTHING. like, this is the canon I needed - redemption for what could have been with Helena and fulfillment of every delusion I've ever had about this man. it felt so true to the world of the show and to javi I'm actually announcing this as Canon. sorry folks!! I don't make the rules!!
gonna pop some favorite bits under the cut :,) AH
“You switched your hair up today,” Javier notes one night, sipping his coffee and flicking off the ash of his cigarette, his eyes following the way your hair is pulled up loosely and framing your face, “looks good—good, I like it.”
lord help me I would not survive this I am NOT god's strongest warrior I am a puddle on the FLOOR this is him holding the secretary's finger and complimenting her nail polish all over again DSDKFHJK
“Are you really DEA?” You ask, his expression urging you to lower your volume as he takes a seat beside you, “Is that a lie?”
this is SO HEARTBREAKING ALI like what the FUCK oh my god. I feel like I can hear her and see her scared face and I'm going to cRY ABOUT IT
“I don’t think you want my opinion,” He answers vaguely, swiping the counter for his keys. “Just admit it,” You tease him with the words tossed over your shoulder as you grab for your jacket, “It’s fuckable.”
sdhkfjhaskjhgfa
“Mierda, your fucking hands—” He doesn’t even mean it in a sexual context, but the pressure you apply is perfect, pinpoint even, knuckles rolling against the base of his neck as his mouth opens, an embarrassing sound slipping beyond his lips as you chuckle softly, watching as he lifted his head in shame, “okay—okay, you’re done.”
OHHHHH, to take javier pena apart with a massage!! HOW I YEAAARRRN
“Yeah, pretty difficult,” You jest at his expense, his smile lines creasing as he grinned slightly, “I have this asshole in my apartment—annoyingly cocky, hates massages. God, the worst—”
I love them so much. she's so charming and brings out the CRINKLY EYES and I would die for them both ok ANY DAY ANY TIME
“Not much longer, chiquita,” Javier reminds, seeming to hear your discomfort immediately.
this is so !!!!! JAVI. saying it without saying it, ya know? that he sees her. I'm gonna cry brb
“Where did he touch you?” Javier asks casually, eyes closed as he pressed gentle kisses to the inside of your thigh, pushing your shirt up higher as you guided his hand over your hip and down toward your ass and squeezing gently. “There,” You admit before guiding his hand further up, alongside your ribs and around your back, another gentle squeeze before guiding his hand around and over your breasts, “and there—here,”
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“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Javier promises, suddenly closer than you’ve ever known him to allow himself outside of sex, his finger drags along your chin and forces it up, looking at him, “¿Entiendes?”
MY HEART POUNDED SO HARD AT THIS PART I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND
It’s just sex, you can hear the words before they roll off his tongue, ignoring your second question entirely. Tell me where he touched you.
*screams heard in the distance* *more wailing* *barking* *hollering*
“Baby, we have to go,” Javier urges, “I have to get you out.”
THE URGENT IN THE MOMENT NOT THINKING "BABY"??? MY PERSONAL KRYPTONITE?? ALI THIS WAS AN ATTEMPT ON MY LIFE
“It was a tracker,” You mumble eventually, “when he was feeling me up that night—it was because he was trying—well, he—he did, he put a—”
oh my god the pain of this realization fucking SLAPPED ME I just!! was there!! feeling her fear!! my chest is so TIGHT the angst is so GOOD
“I hope you’re okay, please come home.” It wasn’t a cry for help this time, but still a phrase that was special. A code, a message. A lifeline.
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this was such a perfect ending. hopeful and soft but also still so javi!! and I'm obsessed with it. I've read this three times, oops. AND WILL DO IT AGAIN <3 all the ways you wove in the moodboard (THEIR LITTLE CODE PHRASE AHHHHH) are so fucking perfect and seamless. ugh. so good. thank you soso much for joining the challenge and sharing this fucking masterpiece with us, WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED. you are a talent and a gem and I adore you <3
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𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐀 𝐑𝐄𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 | Javier Pena x reader
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summary | Javier's a creature of habit, a man of opportunity, and you were unlucky enough to find him when he's at his most desperate.
author's note | written for @almostfoxglove angst challenge, i really hope i did this moodboard justice ghjfkd. thank you @amanitacowboy for reassuring me while writing this behemoth + translations are at the end.
content warning | 18+ MDNI, informant!reader, set through beginning of season 3 narcos to end, angst, smut, involvement with the cali cartel, paying for info and sex, javier's a gentleman i swear, gratuitous smut, jealous!javi, protected/unprotected piv, creampies, oral (f receiving), some vague violence toward the end, happy ending
word count — 10k
The new influx of customers has been an adjustment, used to the elder regulars with orders that never changed and people who were grabbing a bite after a late night shift, it left you flustered as you reached for the pen and paper shoved into your apron, smoothing out the cloth as you approach the group of men, carrying on their conversation without a care.
“El envío llega el domingo,” It was Friday, which meant whatever was coming in would be here in a couple days—they never said what, but it was always something.
And their eyes always eat you up, hair pulled back loosely as you greet them with a smile, taking down their order as they keep their sights locked on you and commenting on the swing of your hips and the curve of your ass as you depart. 
Like rabid dogs, feral and hungry.
You’ve learned to catalog their conversation, catching onto a regular pattern of when things were coming in and out, knowing that whatever nefarious business they are involved in couldn’t be good—but they tipped well and that wasn’t lost on you.
It was almost a month of daily interaction when a new customer pops in, nearing midnight as he settles into his booth quietly, thin button-up stretching over his shoulders as he removed his jacket and tossed it into the space beside him, yellow tinted sunglasses tucked into his shirt, catching the ashtray with a single finger and lighting the cigarette already settled between his lips.
You attempt to greet him, lips parting before he interrupts you, barely acknowledging your presence as he spits out the order for a coffee, black. Dickhead, you think. The pen and paper is shoved away in your pocket and you swing your hips around the counter to fulfill his order with a side of spitefulness.
When you approached again, it was with a nauseatingly sweet smile.
“Can I get you anything else?” You ask, catching his eyes briefly as they flicker up before he shakes his head, a roar of laughter and slaps coming from the booth a few feet away, perking your eyes up at the subtle information they were sharing, scooting out of the both as they slapped a bill on the table, passing by with a vicious smirk that had your blood running cold, the graze of fingertips brushing against your ass that had you biting down on the inside of your cheek to steady yourself, nearly falling into the table as they pushed by.
The stranger perks up at that, his eyes trailing over your body with the same robotic motion as them, but with an air of curiosity, like he was examining you and your reaction. 
“No—no, just the coffee,” He assures you, both of you watch as the group of men climb into their shared truck, “those your regulars?”
“Unfortunately,” You let slip without thinking, “I’m sure their boss would hate to hear how loud they talk about all transfers and shipments—can’t imagine it’s anything good.”
His eyes drag to your breasts, more pointedly toward the nametag pinned in your shirt. 
He speaks your name before introducing himself, “Javier,” He addresses, turning to dig into his jacket before he pulls out a leather wallet, opening it to flash off his credentials, “DEA.”
“Oh–I’m…I’m not…involved with them, if that’s what you think…” You don’t know why the revelation has your nerves shot, but the fingers that wrap around your wrist ground you.
Javier has spent weeks—not a single lead or piece of evidence to follow. You were his saving grace, a goddamn miracle. He tugs lightly, pulling your attention to him.
“How often do they come in here?”
“Uh,” You blink rapidly, trying to think, “Um—three or four times a week, usually every other day.”
He speaks your name gently, his demeanor changing as he releases his hold on your wrist before he motions for you to sit, looking around briefly to assess how busy the restaurant was.
At this hour, it was only you and him.
You slide into the booth and place your palms against the table, fiddling nervously with your fingers, watching as he puffed at the cigarette a few times before placing it in the ashtray, followed by a generous sip of his coffee. 
“Everything they’ve told you,” Javier begins, pointing his finger vaguely in your direction before he points down, fingertip pressing against the table, “tell me—not a detail spared.”
You swallow the lump in your throat as your mouth opens, tongue dragging against your bottom lip as you try to access the memory stored in the back of your brain before you remember the small, mostly indecipherable notes you had been taking.
You rip the wrinkled paper from your notepad and pass it over, his brow furrowing as he attempts to decipher the information and to your surprise, he does.
Unknowingly, you had captured a loose schedule they seemed to follow when they shipped things in and out, the day trading off as weeks passed, constantly changing to throw off suspicion, but eventually things overlapped and repeated.
Quietly, Javier pulls his wallet from his pocket and tosses over a wad of bills in your direction.
You stare at it blankly, eyes dragging up to his face as he nods toward the money.
“Should cover the coffee—and a tip.”
You reach for the money, pulling it apart to count, suspicious of the amount.
Prying the bills apart you count, eyes widening as the number rises.
“Sir—uh, Javier. This is…too much.”
“Not for the information,” He clarifies, peering cautiously over his shoulder, “If I come back every week can you promise more?”
You scoff lightly, pocketing the money regardless, “I can’t promise anything—besides, it’s always the same stuff. Just when things are coming and going, nothing more.”
“Can you get more?” Javier asks curiously, an eyebrow raising as he taps the ash off the cigarette and brings it to his lips, “Like, names—anything?”
“I can try, but—”
“I’ll pay.”
Unfortunately, waitressing was a shitty job.
And you were more than willing to allow Javier to turn you into his little informant.
You nod quietly.
-
His order changes depending on his mood.
He never orders food, usually coffee or whiskey.
Nothing less, nothing more.
And you do dig deeper, giving in to the absurd attempts at flirting and playing it up, allowing the occasional touches that make your skin crawl, returning them with fervor. Luckily, you had a strong stomach and handled it with ease, catching the names of the four that frequented the restaurant often, curiously asking about work and life, giving them vague or fake answers for your own when they pried.
“Three are single,” You tell Javier as you slide him a glass of whiskey neat, “desperately.”
Surprisingly, he chuckles at that. You’ve never heard it before.
It’s a nice sound.
“One is married, two kids.” 
You pass him a piece of paper with names and information, trading off for the cash he transfers in return, pocketing it inconspicuously. He’s never there at the same time as them, so the weight on your shoulders is lifted, but the creeping feeling of being watched stays put.
“You switched your hair up today,” Javier notes one night, sipping his coffee and flicking off the ash of his cigarette, his eyes following the way your hair is pulled up loosely and framing your face, “looks good—good, I like it.”
“They like it down,” You retort with a forced smile as a customer passes by with a nod, “so—up it is.”
Conversation was always easy with Javier, his charisma oozes out without even trying. It was natural for him, casually taking your hand into his during a slow shift, examining the lack of jewelry.
“Could get you a fake one, if it would help,” Javier suggests.
Unless you already had one, of course. His eyes flick up in a silent question.
“I don’t think it would matter,” You admit, “If they want something, they’re going to get it.”
The routine continues like this for a while, until eventually, it doesn’t.
A new group of men come in one Friday, the other, and another, throwing you off kilter.
They started rotating them, keeping you on edge as the information is becoming harder to obtain despite your attempts to dig and frustrations arise in Javier, but never with you.
Sometimes they don’t even speak at all, hushed tones at the table unless you’re needed—but, occasionally they get messy. It’s usually the younger guys, inexperienced, fresh-faced, eager to please the big boss but riding on an uncapped power high.
One of the men gets particularly ostentatious, always coming in on a drunken stupor and slurred words, eyeing you like a piece of meat that he was eager to sink his teeth into. He slips you his number more than once, ignores your polite attempts at a subject change when the rest of the men are hyping him up, and rarely takes your refusal into consideration. 
Eventually the fear that has built in you overflows, suspicion arising when you leave work a night after Javier had long departed, a night of very little information exchange outside of casual talk—and even that was forced, understanding how frustrated Javier had become. 
One of the men had stuck around, only a brief crossover as Javier had stepped into the restaurant, his eyes tracking you the entire way out before you’re pulled in by Javier’s voice ordering his drink of the night, squeezing his shoulder gently in response.
You should have known better, you should have spoken up.
Javier would’ve done something then, but instead, you convince yourself to forget about that uncomfortable feeling that crept in. You knew what would help, biding your time until Javier left for the night, ignoring how he seemed to eye you too, but with a glazed over expression of worry.
There was a car you barely noticed, swallowed up by shadows and turning on as you drove down the road when you finally clocked out, the minutes dragging before you pulled into the parking lot of the chapel you had sped towards with a weight on your chest and a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach.
You couldn’t recall that last time you had visited, but you were desperate now more than ever.
You needed solace.
Prayer comes naturally, dedicated to begging for protection over yourself, allowing the silence of the space to consume you as soft footsteps of other patrons walked by, just raising your chin as a hand clasps over your shoulder, nearly falling to your ass as you turn to connect the owner of the hand to a body. 
“Javier?” You ask quizzically, “Did you follow me?”
“No?” He looks confused, answering with full honesty.
That twisting feeling in your gut sinks further, looking around briefly.
“I can provide protection,” Javier tells you, “if you need it.”
You stay quiet, chewing gently at your bottom lip, scanning the room for familiar faces.
“Something is wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it, back at the diner.”
There was only Javier, still mostly a stranger.
“Are you really DEA?” You ask, his expression urging you to lower your volume as he takes a seat beside you, “Is that a lie?”
“I spent a long time trying to take down Escobar, I find that kind of insulting, chiquita.”
He’s met with silence, understanding your need for reassurance. 
“Yes, I am,” He tells you, his gaze unwavering, “I should’ve offered a protection detail to you from the jump, but I figured me being around often enough would work—did someone follow you here?”
“I don’t know, I kinda lost sight of them.”
You fall silent, staring at a crease in the denim of his jeans as you speak. 
“Should I be worried?” You ask quietly, turning your body toward him, “Like—are they going to kill me?”
“They’re getting uneasy,” Javier responds vaguely, before assuring, “Not because of you.”
“I should…I should tell you,” You take a breath, “One of them invited me to a party, I have his number. I told him I would have to work some things out, but I never…”
“Was it this weekend?” Javier asks suddenly, the lines in his forehead creasing at the mention.
“Yeah—yeah, why—”
“Say yes,” Javier urges, “I’ll keep you safe.”
It was a big promise, but Javier’s pleading eyes worked like a spell.
“This is gonna cost, Javier.”
“Name your price, hermosa.”
–
Javier’s touch is white-hot, cigarette tucked between his lips as he brushes your hair behind your ear and presses the in-ear monitor inside, hiding it behind the gaudy jewelry attached to your ear and adjusts your hair back over, stepping back and raking his eyes over your frame casually, pinching the cigarette from his lips with his thumb and pointer finger as he blows the smoke out.
“It’s small enough they won’t notice but try and keep it covered,” He tells you, his free hand shoved into his front pocket as his presence fills your apartment, moving around sheepishly under his gaze, “I’ll be a few minutes away, if anything goes south I’ll get you out.”
You stumble slightly slipping on your heels, caught by his tight grip as he steadies you. 
“Sorry—I’m freaking out,” You admit, looking away nervously as his grip loosens but doesn’t leave, firm around your bicep as you sleep your other foot inside the hell, “Th—thank you.”
“You smoke?” Javier asks causally as you stand.
“Not really,” You respond, “Occasionally, I guess. It’s probably more social, if I’m being honest.”
He plucks the cigarette from his mouth and offers it to you, placing it between your lips as you take a small puff without thinking or being told, an effective way to calm your nerves as you focused on the action as he points toward the cigarette, “Don’t drink or smoke anything they give you tonight,” Javier warns, “communication works both ways, I need you coherent.”
He pulls the cigarette away and places it between his own lips again.
The nicotine stings your throat and chest, giving you a noticeable distraction that calms your mind. “How do I look?” You force a tight smile, twirling on your feet as the dress clung to your curves, a soft, velvet red, “Fuckable, I hope. Otherwise I’m not getting anything out of them.”
Javier snorts at that, brow creasing at your crudeness.
“I don’t think you want my opinion,” He answers vaguely, swiping the counter for his keys.
“Just admit it,” You tease him with the words tossed over your shoulder as you grab for your jacket, “It’s fuckable.”
“Yeah, sure,” He mumbles around the cigarette between his lips, “fuckable.”
The way the word rolls of his tongue is visceral, ignoring the pulse between your legs at the vibrato in his voice and the chuckle that follows—regardless, it helped ease your nerves. 
–
It’s loud, sweaty, and overwhelming.
You thought they would choose something less…obvious.
But, it was becoming more and more clear how much of the town was under the Cali Cartel’s payroll, learning more and more information as Javier shared it with you in bits and pieces, your curiosity getting the better of you.
The idea was to mingle, drifting far enough away from your date that you might happen upon one of Javier’s more meaningful targets, not going as far as to infiltrate the heads, but someone damaging if you sunk your teeth in. 
You quickly come upon the realization that most of the men are confusing you with entertainment, rather than being a guest, quickly side-stepping the hands that reach for you as you squeeze your way toward the bar, sliding into an empty seat with a breath of relief.
“They are animals,” The voice beside you speaks—belonging to a man who was scientifically handsome; oddly perfect, hair perfectly coiffed and mused into place, a perfect set of teeth hidden behind plush lips and piercing green eyes—you had memorized the face in the picture Javier had shown you, “¿Cómo te va? ¿Lo estás pasando bien?”
You almost forget he’s talking to you for a moment, staring up at him distractedly before Javier’s voice speaks softly in your ear, “Answer him, chiquita. He’ll get suspicious.”
“Oh, yes,” You answer quickly, moving in closer to converse over the roar of music and the heavy buzz of strobe lights flashing overhead, “I seem to have lost my date, though.”
“Don’t worry,” He smirks, “I will keep you company.”
It does take a few drinks and you nursing your own, but you play into the act of being a mere accessory on the mysterious man’s arm, allowing him to drag you around the club with no real path to follow, eventually ending up with a smaller group of men huddled away in a corner, standing dutiful and quiet as the men talk amongst themselves in obscure words, almost like a code. 
“I can’t—I can’t hear them,” Javier’s speech is garbled, drown out by the music as you squint at the pain of the feedback in your ear, “can’t—hurry—”
Eventually, you find an opening to excuse yourself.
“Hermosa,” The voice freezes you in place, but the touch is gentle, surprisingly, “I would like to see you again, outside of here—”
You quickly ramble off the name of the diner, attempting to pull away, but not before a kiss is pressed against the front of your hand, feeling the heat burn through your skin like a brand before you’re slipping through the crowd, unable to take a deep breath until you’re outside.
You walk the distance to where Javier had parked originally, finding him buried deep in a conversation with someone who had pulled up in another car, hands curled around the driver’s side window, his head turning as he heard the distinct click of your heels.
“Fuck,” He curses, approaching you with his hands hovering around you—not touch or prodding, almost hesitant to cross that boundary unless it was absolutely needed, “are you alright?”
“Yeah,” You answer confused, nose scrunching up as you peered around him at the unknown agent, his window rolling up before he drove off, “what’s that about?”
“We think someone might have jammed the comms—there’s no way to know, it could have been the club itself, one of the agents is going to look into it—”
“Can you drive me home?” You interrupt suddenly, rubbing at the spot on your hand that the man had kissed, feeling dirty, “I’m full up on being felt up tonight and I want to change.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Javier replies after a moment of hesitation, “let’s go.”
You rip the device from your ear the moment the passenger door closes.
–
Javier places your heels against the floor as you walk barefoot into your apartment, a simple but kind gesture as your belongings scattered against your kitchen counter, fingers dragging through the front of your hair and back as you smeared your makeup in the process.
“Oh, the uh—the code,” You remember suddenly, “something about a bridge, as the sun rises…something with water. The guy, the picture you showed me. He approached the four you told me were important. I don’t think they liked me being there, but I also think they assumed I was too ignorant to remember a few words.”
Javier pauses, hands digging into his hips as he paces near your door.
“Do you want a beer?” You ask curiously, the furrow in his brow sinking deep as he attempts to decipher the code, he nods silently.
You figured with the information bestowed he would leave, but instead he stays, sipping at his beer for over an hour as you watch him move, his brain working things out in real time.
He’s beside you know, hands pressed into the counter as he pushed his body away, staring down at his feet as he repeated the words aloud, but quietly, like a murmur. 
“Are you sure they aren’t distributing right under your nose?”
Javier’s head tilts to the side as he looks at you, confused by your analogy.
You stare out your window for a moment, curtains pushed open, the gray luminescence of the moon illuminating the inky night sky, “I mean, they’re obviously paying people off, always partying at clubs—wait, the bridge and water,” A thought pops into your head, grabbing Javier by the hand before you’re pulling him to your apartment window, “what if they’re meeting on boats? I mean, not to say that’s how it’s getting it in, but—”
“That…makes sense,” Javier says, void of any distinct emotion as he takes a long chug of his beer before placing it on the ledge of the window, rubbing at the shoulder of his opposite arm.
“Annoyed you didn’t think about it first?” You tease, turning to tilt your head at him like he had earlier.
“Hadn’t gotten that far yet, we’re still trying to put the pieces together,” He grimaces at the tightened muscles, rolling his neck as his hands settle back against his hips, “that’ll help, though.”
“Sit down,” You urge him, pointing toward your couch and Javier looks at you with dull amusement before you’re urging him again with your insistent finger, eventually he relents.
Immediately, you round the back of the couch and allow your fingers to dig into his shoulder, working out the soreness with deft fingers, “Shit—you don’t have to,” Javier begins to protest before your hand is curling around the back of his head and pushing it forward, molding him to how you needed him positioned as your fingers dig in deep, “that’s, fuck, that’s…shit, right there.”
His voice is pure erotica, but it makes your lips curl in amusement. It was that pathetic desperation you heard so often from the men you served daily—that slight pitch to their tone as they tried to grab your attention, but with Javier, he’s completely detached.
His hands were tucked between his legs, head resting forward as you dug in with a strong, pointed touch, his groan reverberating down his spine. 
“Mierda, your fucking hands—” He doesn’t even mean it in a sexual context, but the pressure you apply is perfect, pinpoint even, knuckles rolling against the base of his neck as his mouth opens, an embarrassing sound slipping beyond his lips as you chuckle softly, watching as he lifted his head in shame, “okay—okay, you’re done.”
“Oh, come on,” You tease, “I was just getting started.”
Javier shakes his head and stifles the laughter in his chest, resting against your couch as his hands circle the beer in his grasp, looking up at your face, tilted down toward his own as your fingers curl around the back of the couch, straps slipping down your shoulders in your relaxed state.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Javier checks, given you’ve had a proper amount of time to wind down from the adrenaline of being inside the club surrounded by dealers and potential kingpins.
He’s worried. He barely knows you and he’s still worried.
“It’s a rush,” You admit candidly, “But, I’m pretty resilient, Javier. Work is work. I’ve dealt with worse assholes on the job, I’m good at putting on a face when I need to.”
“What about now?” Javier asks curiously, eyes exploring your morphing expression of amusement to bashfulness, the way he’s staring at you outright, words unspoken.
“Yeah, pretty difficult,” You jest at his expense, his smile lines creasing as he grinned slightly, “I have this asshole in my apartment—annoyingly cocky, hates massages. God, the worst—”
He doesn’t like the way this job winds him up, the tension taught in his spine and unrelenting, staring up at you with a tinge of a buzz from the alcohol and the sight of your sloping breasts spilling out of your dress.
He’s used to driving miles and miles for peace of mind and a nice body to sink into, but you’re here, you’re smiling at him and he’d be damned to refuse the opportunity you’re presenting to him, leaning down as his hand comes up without thinking, twisting in your hair as his head turns to meet yours at the same angle, placing his beer down in the same instance.
“The fucking worst,” He echoes, his hands crawling up the edge of your dress as you climb over the couch with his guidance, speaking through rushed exchanges of lips, his hot, beer-tainted breath against your skin as he situates the dress up at your hips, straddling him without a second thought, “you were right about the dress—”
“Fuckable,” You both agree in unison, sighing audibly at the kiss he places to your chin, neck, shoving his face between the valley of your breasts as you work silently at his jeans, the clang of his buckle, metal against metal as you loosen it enough to free his straining cock, his breath catching as you wrap your fingers around the velvety skin of his shaft.
“M-My wallet,” He chokes out, muffled as your tongue dips into his mouth, stop briefly to savor the touch as his hands cups your face, eventually drifting into your hair in a similar manner to earlier but then he’s tugging, “got—got a condom.”
“Of course you do,” You snort in merriment, “is that—is that what we’re doing?”
Javier nods eagerly, never separating more than a millimeter from your lips as you stare at him, his eyes staring right back, searching your expression for any minute twitch of deception.
When Javier fits himself inside of you it is with a broken grunt, a curse under his breath, and a hand squeezing tight at your hip, fingers digging into the bunched up cloth as he wraps his opposite arm around your back, pulling you toward him with a sharp snap of his hips.
You gasp, falling over the back of the couch as your hands grasped at the surface in desperation, the start of a quick but all consuming pace of his hips, his lips mouthing at your skin; arms, fingers, even over your ribs, biting gently through the velvety fabric of your dress, stifling his shaky moans, attempting to avoid the glaringly obvious fact that he hasn’t been able to release his stress like this in weeks.
A willing participant, a body, convenience. 
Deep down, you know. 
But, you found yourself in the same mix of issues.
Regardless, you both ignore it.
–
Javier is gone by morning—or, what is left of it. 
The exhaustion of the night and the sex catching up to you, coming undone on his cock as he gripped your ass, feeling the bruises he’d left in the process and remembering the soft, filthy words of encouragement he had whispered against your skin as you came.
He even locked your apartment and slipped the key under the crack in the door, stumbling toward the glinting gold piece on the ground and the folded up note on the ground, eyebrow creasing at the sight as you kneel to the ground, adjusting your dress hastily. You squint to read the hastily written note.
Got a lead. Money is for last night.
You peel the paper open and spot the money inside, eyes widening as you slowly realize that this was far more than he’s given you before, nearly double the first time, slowly you fold the paper back over and check the back, inspecting the item as a whole before you notice the writing on the back.
We should do it again sometime, chiquita. 
You look up at the door slowly, at the cash, before peering over your shoulder at the couch, still indented with sleep and a blanket strewn carelessly over the cushions.
He paid you for sex. He’d made it transactional. 
There’s a brief moment where you’re stricken with offense, half the mind to track him down and chew him out, but you remember how your exchange started and ultimately how it would end.
Plus, it was half your rent paid for from the result of the type of sex you haven’t allowed yourself to have in far too long, disconnected from feeling and fully freeing. 
Besides, it must be a regular thing for Javier and you couldn’t even blame him.
He was only doing his job.
–
A protection detail does work for a brief time, at least, it eases some of your worry.
It was a younger agent, Javier had told you, little to no responsibility outside of keeping his eyes on you and reporting back when necessary. As some of the leads start to blossom, Javier appears less and less, but still follows through on his payments when you have information to exchange, even if it’s only a name or time of day for something.
You do find the boldness to ask him about the money he’d forked over for sex, flowing lightly into conversation as he gives you a recount of his time with Escobar after a night of curiosity and lacking customers drags you into the booth beside him.
Always taking careful note of any personal tidbits he would offer. You knew he wasn’t married or that, at the very least, he was an expert at hiding it. No kids, no spouse, no baggage.
“Is it hush money?” You ask bravely, counting through your tips for the night as he sips gingerly at the glass half full of whiskey, “Because if so, I wasn’t going to tell anyone anyways.”
His brow creases, confused for a brief second before you mouth the words.
My couch, the sex.
“Didn’t want things getting confusing,” Javier admits, “If it’s any consolation, the sex was good.”
“You’re too complicated for me anyways,” You snort softly, separating the bills accordingly as you glance over at him briefly, a soft hum in his throat as his lips wrap around the edge of his glass as he downs the rest of the liquor, “Was it a one time thing?”
“Doesn’t have to be,” Javier admits, “figured I should draw the line early—you aren’t offended are you? Because if you need me to remind you how good it—”
As you finish, dragging the money into one pile, you shrug, “I’m off in thirty.”
The sway of your hips as you exit the booth and head toward the back of the restaurant is enough to have Javier suffering half-hard in his jeans, legs widening as he inconspicuously rubs his palm over the denim to adjust himself, awaiting the small nod of your head around the corner that comes half an hour later. 
–
Javier is efficient, you learn.
What first starts off as a casual trade turns into pure, unrestrained stress relief. 
It bleeds into work for both of you, finding time to drag him off into the back office when you knew it was available, fucking over the desk with any empty kitchen and diner as the hours waned into the early morning and everyone was either on break or asleep.
You never offer up much about yourself, very little about your life before moving to Colombia or why you’ve stuck around for so long—but he does know you’re disconnected from your family almost entirely, completely alone.
He has a huge family back in Laredo, people that clearly care about him, catching him on the phone with his father one night as they bickered lightheartedly, something about Javier needing to find time to vacation sooner rather than later.
When you have sex at your apartment, he always smokes afterwards, whether in your bed or by the open window in your living room, always careful about the barrier of clothing that remains, never entirely naked in front of one another.
He doesn’t look at you either, won’t kiss you further than something quick—a wet, sloppy exchange of tongues as he fucks into you from behind, pulled back tight to his chest as his hand strains and squeezes around your neck to turn your head toward him.
And he never stays, doesn’t stay hung up on goodbyes. 
He waits until you’re asleep, places the money at your bedside, and leaves.
But, there is a moment when you hear the tone in his voice switch, almost offended.
You’re both naked from the waist down and he’s thrusting into you lazily as his lips latch onto the section where your neck meets your shoulder, recounting the details that you’ve learned today, easily killing two birds with one stone.
He mentioned something earlier that night about a bust gone wrong, chewing frustratedly at his bottom lip as he spoke more with his eyes than his words before you had dragged him toward the back.
“Benny offered to take me on a date,” You address lightly, voice hitched as Javier used his palm against the inside of your thigh to spread it wider before it curls around the back of your knee and pulls up high over his lip, “he bought me an outfit and everything.”
He racks through the catalog of names in his brain.
Benny. Benny…Benito?
He wasn’t aware he’d spoked the name out loud until you’re responding with a soft acknowledgement as the desk bangs against the wall, your hand flattening out behind you for support, “Yes—same thing. I’m sure it’s for the—”
“The gala, yeah.”
He had spent the past few weeks trying to approach a way to get inside, knowing that this would be an opportunity to track the ever-expanding tree of sellers and suppliers, a front for the obvious drug trade that was happening, as you phrased it, right under his nose. 
The boat lead had only gotten them so far, knowing that there was much more nefarious shit going on that he was grasping at straws to collect off of, using you as his main source of information.
He knows it’s dangerous, but damn were you good at it.
“When did that c—come up?” Javier asks, grunting into your neck as his orgasm creeped in, his fingers drifting expertly over your clit as they had a dozen times before.
“Couple weeks ago,” You reply casually, both you falling into your eventual orgasms and only hearing him speak as he’s already disposed of his condom and was buttoning his jeans up.
“When were you gonna tell me that?”
It feels like a heavy weight on your chest, the clear betrayal in his voice coming from absolutely nowhere, immediately forcing you into defense mode as you sneer at him, adjusting your top back into your jeans as you tie your apron around your waist.
“I’m telling you now,” You retort, “I wasn’t even sure he dropped the clothes off here yesterday.”
It couldn’t have been that crucial of a detail, given that the gala wasn’t happening for another week according to the information that had been figured out.
Javier looks stiff suddenly, shoving his wallet into his back pocket before your hand is twisting around his bicep and shoving him back until he faces you.
“Is there something you need to say?” Your eyebrows raise slightly, expectant of the harsh words that were bound to be slung your way.
“I’m paying for information—honesty, too.”
“Yeah, well, you’re also paying to have sex with me.”
Javier isn’t sure why he feels it—it isn’t jealousy, necessarily. Just betrayal, that over the last few months you didn’t feel comfortable enough to share the information with him immediately, weary of the temptations of the cartel and the idea that they could pull you in, flip you against him.
He worries for your safety and well-being, knowing that he would be the one living with that guilt if anything happened to you. You were a friend at the very least, something few and far between for Javier after Steve had left. If he wasn’t at work or his own apartment, he was with you.
Javier forces a breath through his nose and huffs, eyes flicking toward you intensely. 
“It’s important to know this shit, so we can prepare.”
“Well, I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure, alright? It’s not like I’m keeping secrets. I’m sure you could do your research on me if you wanted, if you haven’t already. I have nothing to hide and nothing to gain, Javier.”
His shoulders relax slightly, widening as he puffs his chest out and takes a breath, “Yeah, but they have plenty to gain from you—we have to stay ahead.”
Always one step ahead.
–
The gala comes and goes without much preamble—and you know you’re serving as mostly arm candy, dressed scantily as you hand on the arm of a man you barely know, paraded around as a prize he’s won and showing off to his friends, but he’s surprisingly respectful.
Or, biding his time. You couldn’t tell. 
You don’t force off his small advances, a gentle touch or something too close for comfort as he lips pressing against the shell of your ear, whispering something you don’t pay much attention to as you survey the event, spotting a flurry of faces familiar and unfamiliar, picking up on names and information as it arises.
Javier could still hear everything on his end with the small, nearly invisible communication device shoved into your ear, hidden underneath your hair similar to last time, careful of which side you allowed Benny on.
“My boss is sending us on vacation soon,” You didn’t pay much attention, but Javier was, “could be fun, if you wanted to go—I could talk to him, he’d like you.”
Perfect. Useful. You can already hear the words that would float around if the opportunity arises. You prayed it would never get that far.
“Change the subject,” Javier says tensely, knowing you were traversing into dangerous territory.
“I’m sure your boss won’t mind, I’ll talk to him, too,” You can feel the smirk over your shoulder before you turn, wondering if he had ever met the owner of the diner or he was purely assuming, regardless, you laugh it off quietly.
“I have to stick around and keep things going, they wouldn’t survive without me,” You switch gears easily, “I don’t see you often, just your friends—why don’t you come around more?”
He’s only appeared a couple times and both were brief, first to ask you to the gala and then to give you the dress, almost like he’d rather avoid the place entirely. You were careful of giving him any personal information outside of where you worked, knowing that it wasn’t already accessible information.
“Is that what you want?”
“I don’t think it’s about what I want, is it?” You retort playfully, a smirk growing on his face as his thumb slides over your chin, careful how deep of a jab you make, “It’s up to you.”
Benito’s hand rubs over the back of your dress and down, fingers modeling against the loose wrinkles in the fabric as he moves over the curve of your ass and squeezes, a small squeak escaping your lips as you bite down at the inside of your cheek, ignoring the knee-jerk reaction to elbow him in the stomach.
“Not much longer, chiquita,” Javier reminds, seeming to hear your discomfort immediately. 
The next hour drags painstakingly slowly, but eventually Benito drops you off at the diner at your insistent request, despite his pressuring you to invite him back to your apartment.
When you step into the threshold of your living room, Javier is already opening up the dinner had ordered at your subtle request earlier that evening, a smug smile on his face as you shake your head in exhaustion, sleeping over you hills in and instant and half-way stripping out of your dress before you even make it to your bedroom.
Javier grins in amusement as you thrust the device that you rip out of your ear into his chest, quietly tucking it away on the table as he prepares the food.
You’re dressed for comfort when you return, a shirt reaching beyond your thighs as you settle the bare skin against the barstool, underwear peeking out as you sit, immediately shoveling the food into your mouth.
You ramble out the names you caught onto, watching as Javier scribbled them down, rubbing at your temples to soothe the growing headache as you finish up your food and shove it aside, eventually slumping against the counter as you groan weakly.
You can feel Javier’s hand graze your knee, squeezing gently at your thigh, a silent invitation.
“I’m so tired, Javi,” You admit, “You can keep your cash, don’t worry. The whole thing was a bust, anyways.”
The chair creaks as Javier leans toward you, whispering against your ear, “Ven aqui,” He beckons as he pulls at your arm, guiding you silently to your room, half-expecting him to tuck you into bed and leave, but then he’s guiding you backwards toward the mattress and spreading out between your legs on the duvet as he removes your underwear, your lips forming into a subtle pout until he’s splitting you open with his tongue, a gasp escaping at the sudden sensation, fingers twisting into his hair roughly.
“Javi, what are you doing?” You inquire—it was new, a careful line drawn between you both earlier on that it was strictly sex, disconnection, but now he was trying to leave the impression of his tongue against your cunt as he devoured you all at once, squeezing at your thighs to spread them open further, a sated expression on his face that had to be a mix of his own exhaustion, delirious with want.
“Where did he touch you?” Javier asks casually, eyes closed as he pressed gentle kisses to the inside of your thigh, pushing your shirt up higher as you guided his hand over your hip and down toward your ass and squeezing gently.
“There,” You admit before guiding his hand further up, alongside your ribs and around your back, another gentle squeeze before guiding his hand around and over your breasts, “and there—here,” You squeeze down tightly as your eyes fall shut, his mouth sucking over your clit as your back arches off the bed.
You come faster than you expect and had you known his mouth was so talented, you would have suggested this earlier, but through the waning of your orgasm you feel his tongue drifting over your skin in the wake of his previous touches, lapping at the salty skin before his tongue eventually finds the way toward your breast, swirling around the sensitive skin as your nipple hardens against his mouth, innately curious of his actions but not voicing them.
There was never any predicting with Javier, figuring that maybe he needed a little more distraction tonight, but as your orgasm dissipates and the hand in his hair stays, he never moves, only a low rumble to his breathing as you attempt to catch your own breath before you’re slowly leaning up and realizing his eyes were shut and he had fallen asleep.
Whatever was ailing him had finally taken hold, able to squirm away through his heavy sleep before you’re draping a blanket over his frame, still dressed from the day.
You can’t find the courage inside yourself to disturb him as he took up half of your bed, opting for the couch in the off-chance he woke up in the middle of the night to you beside him, stirring up another list of issues you didn’t feel like dealing with.
–
Surprisingly, you wake before him. The sky barely fading out of night as you stir, rising from the couch as the bulky phone on the counter—it was Javier’s, you knew that.
But still, you answer it. It couldn’t hurt, just tell them to leave a message.
Instead, as you hear the familiar voice on the other end, you find yourself pulled into an unsuspecting conversation with his father that drags into the morning hours as the sun rises, meandering over breakfast before you here him stirring in the other room, trying to ignore how pleasant but telling the conversation with Javier’s father was as you place the phone down on the counter and begin cooking breakfast, silently, still half-dressed in the clothes from the night prior, minus your underwear strewn somewhere on your bedroom floor.
He’d asked how Javier was doing when you told him your name, surprised that he was familiar with you, learning that Javier had spoken about you to him, though briefly.
Probably in passing, maybe. You try not to dwell on it.
“He seems fine,” You told him, “Busy, though.”
He’s always busy, he tells you. Cuidar a mi hijo.
He was worried, rightfully so. But, Javier was an adult, his own person. 
He wasn’t your responsibility and you weren’t his.
And you try to ignore the strange sensation in your chest at the immediate elation from his father hearing your name, like an old family friend hearing from you for the first time in years, even though you knew very little of his father.
You’ve learned enough about Javier, at least. His likes and dislikes, vague interests that he commented on, the grimace in his face that would grow deeper the harder he got stuck on something, a thought or idea.
Javier clears his throat as he enters the kitchen, avoiding your gaze as you slide the meat and eggs onto two separate plates before passing it to him.
“You could have woke me up,” He said, looking up at you briefly with mused hair, his shirt wrinkled from sleep.
“Your father called,” You ignored his comment, “you should call him back.”
“You talked to him?” Javier asks blankly, no distinct emotion shining through.
“For, like, half a second,” You lie, “I just told him you were asleep.”
He didn’t need to know his father’s worry or how much he’d given away about what he knew of you, secrets that were obviously meant to be kept between them, but as Javier chews with thought, eager to break the lingering silence, he asks.
“He mentioned it, didn’t he?”
You shrug your shoulders cluelessly, “I think you’re gonna have to be more specific.”
“That I’ve talked about you, or at least, he knows who you are.”
“It’s none of my business, really.”
“He hears you, at the diner—he’s nosey. I’ve mentioned you in passing. I just…I know how he gets, I don’t want you thinking anything is going on,”
“I’m not paid to think, Javier,” You tell him.
It’s disparaging, his nose scrunching up slightly at your words and the emptiness with which you throw them. This is where he always seemed to fuck up, distinguishing work from his life but somehow maintaining the balance of peace and humanity.
Do you want to explain last night? You mind screamed, but instead you offer him his coffee, the usual black with minimal or no sugar, giving him the option as you slide the mug and container in his direction. He fishes blindly for his wallet but your hand stops him.
You sigh, “That’s not—I wasn’t implying you need to now. I—I just think we should maybe reframe what we’re doing, given that things have…progressed,” The word lingers on your tongue while you bite at your bottom lip. “I’m worried they might find out where I live or about you—or the fact that I’m literally helping the DEA catch them and praying can only do so much and I’m here alone—”
“Hermosa, slow down,” Javier urges, shoving his wallet back into his pocket at your guidance and avoiding the obvious domesticity of having slept overnight in your apartment and ate the breakfast you cooked him. 
It was in his nature to care, to a degree. It was his downfall sometimes, to a devastating fault. He striked while you were vulnerable and roped you into his own mess, now paying for it with guilt that had seeped into his personal life, spending the entire night prior picturing how Benito was handling you, how he could step in—how it could have been him instead.
“She doesn’t sound like work,” His father had told him a week ago, returning a flirtatious quip as you had passed him his usual coffee and offered him a light for his cigarette after his hadn’t worked, that sort of boyish tone in his voice that his father picked up on in a second.
The lines had blurred with Helena after a while, a similar circumstance that he continued to find himself in—paying for info, paying for sex, attempting to make it impersonal. But, here you were, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes, and he didn’t know how to fix the mess he had made. 
He couldn’t see you hurt or send you into danger like he had with Helena, the helpness he’d felt as he discovered her near lifeless body, covered in blood and bruises after she had been beaten and traded around—it couldn’t happen, it wouldn’t.
–
Javier returns with a phone later that day, similar to his with his number attached to a piece of paper he shoves into your hand as he directs you to pack a bag in the case of an actual emergency, something quick to grab that you wouldn’t have to second guess about. 
“You’re making it seem like I should be leaving now,” You tell him, taking the items he passes into your hand as you fold a stack of clothes and toiletries into the bag.
Javier shakes his head, “It’s better be safe,” He explains, “I…doubt—I don’t think they would be. We have someone listening around the clock, people on the inside, there haven't been any red flags.”
“What if something does? What if I can’t reach you?”
“I hope you’re okay, please come home.” He tells you simply, your face contorting in confusion. “It’s a code—a phrase only you and I know. If you use that, it means danger. Through a note, or that phone. I just have to hear it.”
You zip the bag up in silence, feeling the weight of the web you had tangled yourself in finally settling, curious if you would be back at square one, fleeing to a different country to escape your problems.
“I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Javier promises, suddenly closer than you’ve ever known him to allow himself outside of sex, his finger drags along your chin and forces it up, looking at him, “¿Entiendes?”
You nod, a subtle motion but Javier sees it.
“Javier, we should talk,” You echo once more, though with different meaning, “about last night.”
“I’ll still pay, hermosa—that isn’t a problem.”
You could handle the way it was eating at you.
“No, I mean—I mean why did last night happen? Why is your dad telling me to keep you safe?”
His face hardens at the mention of his father.
It’s just sex, you can hear the words before they roll off his tongue, ignoring your second question entirely.
Tell me where he touched you.
“You started this, you know?” You remind him, “You made this transactional.”
Was he scared of you?
Eerily silent he remains, you speak for him.
“I’m not a whore either, so if that is how you view me—I really don’t want your help at all.”
The keys in hand are gripped tight as you chance a glance toward the floor, his body entirely unmoving, his eyes downturned and staring in a similar direction, almost like he couldn’t find the words.
I”m not asking you to give a shit about me, but—”
His answer is a kiss, searing and intense, keys tossed to your bed as his fingers dive into your hair, curling around your head as you make a sound of surprise, steadying yourself as you grip his biceps and stumble backwards, tripping over the dress you had stripped yourself of last night.
You still hadn’t dressed from earlier, his hands flattening against your hips as he molds the soft flesh under his grip, his teething biting into your bottom lip as he murmurs, “Belt, get my belt,” without question, your fingers go to work, ripping the leather away in a practiced motion as you continue to unbutton his jeans, “—think I don’t give a shit, are you fucking insane?”
“A little,” You jest, “I mean—I’m helping you, aren’t I?”
This felt strangely vulnerable, his fingers pulling at your shirt with a deliberate endgame.
Naked in the natural lighting of your room, his fingers reaching for his own shirt as you work his jeans down his hips, appreciating his tanned skin as it shines with a thin layer of sweat. Despite the sticky heat that permeated throughout your apartment, his touch is cooling, comforting even.
“Another freebie?” You tease him further, hearing him snort as he reaches for his wallet and crowded you on the mattress, opening the tight leather before he grabs a wad of cash and shoves it into the sheets before tossing his wallet aside and diving between your breasts.
“Making me a poor man,” Javier retorts, peeking up through your tits as he squeezed them in his grip, mouthing delicately along the skin, “shit—but this, s’fuckin’ priceless.”
“I’m—fuck, I’m kidding, Javier. I don’t want your money. Never wanted it.”
It had always been about convenience, never expecting things to end up like this.
It was a mess, both of you were.
He’s seeing all of you, for once, and you him. 
And you know he needs, wants, without saying.
He fucks you slow, legs hitched around his hips as buries his head into the space beside yours, only rising as your noises grow with intensity, the bluntness of your nails digging into his skin.
“Inside,” You beg, “inside of me, Javi.”
He moans pathetically, lips squished against your cheek as his hips falter.
“Yeah?” He grunts, “Can I?”
You giggle airly at his question, nodding fervently.
“Mierda,” He curses brokenly, groaning softly into your skin as he pumps himself inside of you, the warmth of his cum filling you to the brim, oozing out as his hips slow, his hands kneading into your skin as he rests, breathing rapidly against your chest.
“We should—should talk, Javier.” You tell him again, after a moment of silence. “Like, really talk—you know?”
Javier hums in acknowledgment, “Tonight—give me until tonight, okay?”
Tonight was good enough, for now.
–
The first thing you feel when you rouse from sleep is pain.
White-hot and persistent, restrained by your hand as they’re tucked behind your back. You feel more hands, the sound of stiff leather and the smell, overwhelming as it invades your senses.
“I see why he keeps you around,” The voice comes from behind, eyes bleary as you blink before the hand in your hair grips tight, only catching the fist coming at you from your peripheral before your world goes dark.
When you wake again, you’re upright and in a chair, head slung back uncomfortable as you attempt to stretch, feeling heavy and groggy as you move, remembering the moment from earlier you become alert within seconds, eyes searching around frantically as you spot two men.
They were strangers, faces covered, but obviously sent here for a reason.
“Benny thought he could get it out of you,” The man says dismissively, “you foreigners—stupid, messy, predictable.” He grabs the fabric of your dress and plucks the small, miniscule device from the fabric that you missed, squinting to see it before the man breaks it between two fingers and tosses the dirtied fabric aside.
“We got her to ourselves, plenty of time to—”
“No,” The other man replies sternly to the obvious subservient man, “her boss—that’s what we came here for.”
“My boss?” You croak eventually, “At the diner? What do you want with—”
The gun he pulls from his back silences you in an instant. He reaches for the phone on the counter, the yellow sticky note still attached, “That him?”
“It’s mine,” You reply with ease, “I’m forgetful and—”
Your throat swells as he ignores you, dialing the number.
You hadn’t let the reality of the situation settle until you heard Javier’s voice on the other end, careful to not give anything away as his voice comes across more energetic than usual. They didn’t seem upset at the lie, but the finger on the trigger squeezed slightly as his voice came through, a silent order to play along.
“Hola, chiquita,” Javier greets smoothly, “¿Todo bien?”
You laugh softly, “Yes—yeah.”
You know what they want, what they need.
“I hope you’re okay, please come home.” You beg, voice unwavering as you stare the two men down, both of them seeming satisfied by your ploy to get Javier to the apartment without much argument.
The line falls dead without a response, the phone tosses aside to the floor as it shatters into pieces. 
Unfortunately, they weren’t going to get it easily.
–
You wished you could warn him.
One wrong move and the blade at your throat, the gun to your head—they would be your undoing.
You stared blankly at the broken lock and hinge of your door, footsteps approaching as you whimpered, the sharpness of the knife pressing against your skin as Javier whips around the corner and into the apartment.
The white-hot pain returns as you’re met with the butt of the gun, slumping from the chair as chaos whirls around you, curled up on the floor and crawling desperately away from danger as someone screams, gargling as it sounds, probably on their own blood. 
You couldn’t look back, breathing panickedly as you hid behind the couch and huddled in on yourself, a gun going off unexpectedly as your ears ring, gasping as you hear the sound of a blade puncturing skin once, twice, before it clamers to the floor.
You wait a moment, although it feels like eternity, expecting the cold press of a gun against the back of your skull, but instead it was a hand and eventually another, the faint smell of a familiar cologne that brought you comfort and warmth.
“Baby, we have to go,” Javier urges, “I have to get you out.”
Out?
You look up, his eyes wild but lacking any indicators of violence.
“It isn’t safe here.” He reiterates, “Can you walk?”
You nod weakly, feeling his hand wrap around your waist as he assists you in rising to your feet, still discombobulated and wobbly, he sticks by your side as you grab your things, silent as he eventually, alongside the crowd of presumably agents and police that pass by, invading your apartment, Javier is a guiding light of reassurance before you’re barricaded in the safety of his car.
“It was a tracker,” You mumble eventually, “when he was feeling me up that night—it was because he was trying—well, he—he did, he put a—”
You blink, feeling the sting of tears as you look up at Javier.
“Things are getting worse. It isn’t safe for you here, not anymore.”
“Here? What—what do you mean?”
–
Here meant Colombia.
Which is how you ended up in Texas two weeks later. Laredo to be specific. 
Javier had a place close to home. His family.
And you had talked extensively, it was the only thing that kept the panic from consuming you that night as he drove you to the embassy, tying up some loose ends before he drove you to the airport without any explanation until he was shoving the ticket into your hand.
His father had been waiting for you, as somber in expression as his son. 
They were so similar it made your heart swell, an unfamiliar feeling. 
Javier couldn’t explain what he was feeling for you and you could accept that, but he was careful and adamant in the idea that you would spend your time at his home, already setting you up with a similar job in town, a seamless transition that felt strange, but oddly easy to settle into.
“What if I just left?” You tease him one night, hearing his desk creek as he head slumps into his unoccupied hand, “Would that be easier for you?”
“No,” Javier says sternly, “I’m—this…I think I might be done. Feels like I’m fighting a battle that I’ll never win, feelings fucking pointless.”
It had been months now, curled up on his couch as you stared out the window and toward the empty road, wondering if the chill of fall was creeping in as the cool breeze hit your skin, “No more waitresses to help you out down there, huh?”
Javier snickers at that, though it was quiet.
“Stop that,” He chastises, “It’s not funny.”
You giggle in return, “I know, I know—just remember who’s keeping your bed warm every night, yeah? Oh—and your dad, he keeps asking when you’re gonna call.”
You hear him huff at that, clearing his throat awkwardly as he mumbles an apology to someone on the other end, the faint hum of the office around him feeding through the receiver. 
“I hope you’re okay, please come home.”
It wasn’t a cry for help this time, but still a phrase that was special.
A code, a message. A lifeline.
Javier was barely surviving amongst the cartel as tensions had pulled taut and drug trade seemed at an all-time high, nearly unstoppable anymore. 
It was beyond him, out of his control.
And for the first time in a long time, he has a reason, a want, to come home.
“Soon, chiquita. Soon.”
You could hear the exhaustion in his voice and it worried you immensely. 
“Don’t let it consume you, Javi. You’ve done enough.”
On the other end, his brow furrows. Disgruntled and annoyed at how right you were, echoing the similar sentiment his dad had told him a thousand times. 
He was done, he wanted out.
-
"El envĂ­o llega el domingo." / The shipment arrives on Sunday.
"¿Cómo te va? ¿Lo estás pasando bien?” / How are you doing? Are you having a good time?
"Cuidar a mi hijo." / Take care of my son.
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sergeantbarnessdoll ¡ 1 day ago
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Hi can you do a fic where y/n buckys fiancĂŠ who is also a winter soldier but has telepathic powers and teleportation abilities gets kidnapped and reprogrammed again and they have to fight her to snap her out of it and it ends with smut and y/n finding out she is pregnant with twins a boy and girl?
Forever After Âť Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier
Pairings: FiancĂŠe/Avenger!Bucky Barnes x FiancĂŠe/Enhanced!Female Reader
Summary: You and Bucky are supposed to be planning a wedding, but you get kidnapped and reprogrammed again. Not too long after Bucky gets you back, you two find out you’re pregnant with twins.
Warning: Fluff, little bit of Angst, Smut (18+), language, Winter Soldier!reader, pregnant!reader, enhanced!reader, HYDRA, kidnapping, sweet/dirty talk, kissing, hickeys, unprotected sex, praise kink, pet names
A/N: Thank you for the request, nonnie🩵
Written on my phone. My apologies for any mistakes.
Header made by @buck-star
GIF IS NOT MINE! Gif credit goes to the creator.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!🔞
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“Hey. Have any of you seen Y/N?” Bucky asks as he walks in the lounge room.
“Not since this morning. Why?” Steve says.
“Her and I are supposed to go over more details of our wedding, but she’s not answering any of my calls or texts.” He says.
“Her phone probably died or something.” Natasha says.
“Probably. I hope that’s all it is.” He says.
Meanwhile, you regained consciousness in the lab where you first developed your telepathic powers and teleportation abilities. You already know this couldn’t be good. HYDRA is the ones who tested those powers and abilities on you. Since you can’t call or text Bucky with your phone, you decided to try to send a signal to him by using your telepathic powers. You took a deep breath and gave it a try.
“Bucky, I’m in trouble. HYDRA found me and kidnapped me. Please hurry.” You said.
Bucky stopped in his tracks when he felt something. It was the signal from you, telling him that HYDRA kidnapped you and you need help. Bucky’s heart dropped and his eyes widened. He quickly changed into his mission suit and got his gun and knife.
“I’m on my way, doll.” Bucky says to himself.
You were tugging at the restrains to get free, but it was no use. They were too tight and there was no way you were getting out of them any time soon.
“You’re awake!” A familiar voice said.
You looked up to see the HYDRA scientist who tested on you. Your eyes widened.
“What do you want from me?” You asked.
“To reprogram you.” He answers. “I see you haven’t been using your powers and abilities to how I programed you.” He says.
“I’m not using my powers and abilities to do your dirty work anymore.” You say, narrowing your eyes at him.
“Not yet, but you will.” He replies. “Starting with your fiancée, Sergeant James Barnes who’s also known as the Winter Soldier.” He says.
“No. Please don’t make me do that!” You begged.
“Too bad. You don’t have a choice.” He says.
He sat down at the table across from you, opening up your file. Your eyes widened. You tugged at the restrains again.
“There’s no use in tugging at the restrains. You’re strapped down good.” He says.
You groaned and huffed in frustration, tilting your head back. The only thing on your mind is if Bucky is on his way to you.
Your head shot back up when the HYDRA scientist started reading the trigger words that turns you into the person you aren’t anymore… the Winter Soldier. You’re not the same Winter Soldier as Bucky was. You’re a Winter Soldier with powers and abilities.
“No!” You shouted as he continued reading the trigger words. “Please!” You begged.
You squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your hands into fists. No matter what you tried to do, you couldn’t get out of this. After he read all of the trigger words, your eyes glowed blue. The scientist smiles in satisfaction.
“It’s nice to know that those words still work on you.” He grins.
The scientist pushed your file aside and stood up, grabbing a piece of paper and the key to the restrains. He unlocked the restrains and took them off of your arms and legs. You slowly stood up in front of him.
“Ready to comply.” You said obediently.
“This man is your mission.” The scientist says, showing you a picture of Bucky.
“Yes, sir.” You replied.
“I’m sure he’ll be here any minute. I’m assuming you contacted him with your telepathic powers earlier.” He says.
You nodded your head.
“You know what to do when he gets here.” He says.
As if it were on cue, Bucky busted down the door. He felt relieved to see you. He immediately walked to you, stopping in his tracks when he saw your eyes glow blue and your signature grin form on your face. His eyes widened. He hasn’t seen that grin in a while and you haven’t used your powers and abilities in a while either. Bucky grabbed the scientist by his white lab coat and slammed him up against the wall.
“What the hell did you do to my fiancée?!” Bucky growls.
“Reprogrammed her for what she’s meant to do.” The scientist says, grinning evilly.
Bucky growls again and knocked him out with a punch to his face. He dropped him on the floor and turned his attention to you.
“Doll…” Bucky’s voice sounded calm and cautious. “You don’t need to do this.” He says softly.
“Don’t do what?” You asked, tilting your head a bit.
Bucky already knew this wasn’t going to end good.
“Doll, please.” He pleads softly.
“Doll isn’t here anymore. The Winter Soldier is though and she’ll like to have a little talk.” You say.
Bucky’s breathing got shaky for a moment before clearing his throat.
“Please don’t make me fight you.” He pleads.
“Too bad you don’t get a choice, Soldat.” You say, walking towards him.
Bucky cringes when you called him Soldat. He hasn’t been called that in a long time.
“You look scared, Soldat.” You say, playfully pouting at him.
“I’m not scared.” Bucky says.
“So if I read your mind, you won’t be lying?” You asked.
“No. I have nothing to hide from you.” He says honestly.
“Oh yea?” You raised your eyebrows. “What about a certain mission you did in 1991?” You asked.
Bucky gulped and his jaw clenched when you said that. You rose your hand up to his head so you could read his mind, but he grabbed your arm before you could.
“Stop it.” Bucky almost whispers. “I don’t want to fight you.” He says.
“Why? Are you scared you’re gonna lose?” You tauntingly asked.
“I don’t lose.” He says confidently.
“Then fight me.” You say.
“No.” He says.
You chuckled lowly before throwing a punch at him, hitting his jaw and catching him off guard.
“C’mon, Soldat. It’ll be fun.” You say.
“I’m not fighting you.” He says again.
“Ok then.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.
You opened a teleportation portal and stepped in it, turning around and waving at Bucky. The portal took you to a different room in the base. Bucky jumped in the portal before it closed, tackling you to the groan. You groaned when you hit the ground. He pinned your arms to the floor above your head so you didn’t try anything.
Bucky knows if he keeps denying you, you’ll keep provoking him into fighting you. He doesn’t want to fight you, but he has no choice. He thinks if he fights you, he might be able to break through the programming and get your normal self back. He might as well give it his all.
“You wanna fight, doll? Let’s fight.” Bucky finally says.
“That’s more like it.” You say with a grin.
You kneed him in his stomach to get him off of you. You stood you as Bucky groaned in pain. He stood up a few seconds after you did. You approached Bucky, tilting your head slightly.
“I know what you fear.” You whispered.
“I don’t fear anything.” Bucky says.
“Oh really?” You asked, putting your hand against his forehead to read his mind. “You fear that if you don’t get me to break through the programming, you’ll lose your fiancée forever and you won’t get you forever after with her.” You say, reading his mind.
Bucky growls and smacked your hand away.
“Stop it.” Bucky growls, gritting his teeth.
“Loosing your fiancée is your worst nightmare and you’ll slip back into your old ways as the Winter Soldier.” You say.
Bucky’s jaw clenched when you said that. He grabbed you, slammed you against the wall. You yelped in surprise.
“Shut up!” He shouts. “Never fucking say that again.” He says.
Loosing you is his worst nightmare, but he wouldn’t slip back into his old ways as the Winter Soldier.
“Did I touch a nerve?” You asked, tilting your head slightly.
Bucky put his vibranium hand around your throat, but didn’t squeeze. He just stared in your eyes, searching for any sign of your normal self. His hand let go of your throat. What he did next surprised himself. He kicked your feet out from under you to the ground, his eyes widening when you hit your head on the wall. You didn’t go unconscious so that’s a good sign, but you did have a confused look on your face. He didn’t want to do that to you. He just wanted the taunting to stop and for you to break through the programming.
“Doll, I-I-I didn’t mean to do that.” Bucky stutters, crouching down next to you.
“I-I’m fine.” You said softly, followed by a small whimper. “Can you take me home please?” You asked.
“Of course.” He murmurs, picking you up bridal style.
Later that day after you and Bucky got back to the Avengers compound, you two took a shower and put comfortable clothes on.
“I’m sorry.” You apologized in a whisper.
“You don’t need to apologize, doll.” Bucky says softly.
“Yes I do. I tried to use your worst nightmare against you and I brought up that one mission.” You say.
“It’s completely fine, doll. I understand. You weren’t your normal self.” He says.
Your eyes flickered down to Bucky’s lips. You leaned toward him, kissing him softly and passionately. Bucky’s right hand caressed your cheek gently. Your hands grasped onto his shoulders. He gently laid you back on the bed and hovered over you. His vibranium hand went underneath your -his- shirt. You shivered, feeling the cool vibranium against your skin.
“Bucky…” You say breathlessly.
“Yes, doll?” Bucky asks, moving his lips down to your neck.
“I want you.” You tell him.
Bucky pulled away from your neck to take off your -his- shirt, revealing your braless breast to him. He dipped his head back down, kissing your neck again. His teeth nipped at your skin, marking you up. He repeated those same actions as he moved his lips down your body.
Bucky’s hands gently caressed your curves. His lips pressed soft kisses down your body, stopping just above the waistband of your sleep shorts. Bucky hooked his fingers in the waistband of your shorts. You lifted your hips so he could pull them down, pulling down your panties and shorts down in one go.
“My doll is so gorgeous.” Bucky murmurs softly, making you blush.
Bucky stood up, taking off his clothes. His cock is hard and leaking with precum. You voluntarily spread your legs. He got in between them, his hands gently rubbing the top of your thighs. Bucky leaned down, kissing you passionately.
Bucky reached a hand down in between the two of you, wrapping his hand around his cock. He stroked it a few times before lining it at your wet entrance. He slowly slid his cock in your pussy. Soft and satisfied moans left yours and his lips.
Bucky put his forearms against the bed on either side of your head, caging you in between his strong arms. You reached your hands up to hold his. You intertwined your fingers with his.
His thrusts were soft and loving. Your head rolled back against the pillows, enjoying the feeling of your fiancée’s cock inside of you. Soft moans of his name left your lips.
Bucky dipped his head down and kissed along the column of your throat, not leaving any part of your skin not kissed. A soft satisfied hum left your lips when his stubble scratched your skin. That’s one of your favorite feelings from Bucky.
“Bucky…” You say more in a whine.
“I got you, doll.” Bucky whispers softly.
“More please.” You begged softly.
Bucky increased the pace of his thrusts. His thrusts are still loving. You wrapped your legs around his waist, locking your ankles together against his back. Your eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the pleasure you were receiving from your fiancĂŠe.
“I love you so much, Bucky.” You said breathlessly.
“I love you so much to, babydoll.” Bucky whispers.
You managed to get your hands out from Bucky’s hands and gently grabbed his face, pulling him down for a passionate and hungry kiss. You two moaned against each other’s lips. Your hands found their way to his head, carding your fingers through his soft dark brown hair. Bucky moans against your lips. He loves it when you play with his hair in any way. Your fingers tugging on his hair urged him on. Bucky thrusted faster, his cock immediately finding that one spot inside of you.
“Fuck, Bucky!” You moaned.
Your moans are like music to Bucky’s ears. You tucked your face against the crook of Bucky’s neck. You kissed his neck and nipped at his skin, marking him up.
Bucky wrapped his right arm around your waist while his vibranium hand held the sheets tightly. He increased the speed of his thrusts once more. That made you want him even more. Your hands grasped onto his biceps, digging your nails in his skin and the vibranium.
“Fuck, doll…” Bucky moans. “Such a good girl.” He praises softly.
You moaned at his praise. You love it when he praises you.
Bucky’s right arm left your waist and went in between the two of you. Your hips jolted against his hips and his hand when you felt his fingers on your clit. His fingers rubbed your clit in circles.
“Oh god, yes, Bucky!” You moaned, throwing your head back against the pillows.
Your orgasm began to build up faster than you liked. So did Bucky’s. His thrusts became sloppy, but he regained rhythm.
“I can feel you getting close, doll.” Bucky said breathlessly. “You gonna cum for me?” He asks.
“You hummed and nodded your head in response.
“Cum for me, babydoll. I’m close too.” He pants, rubbing your clit a bit faster.
The coil inside of you snapped. You moaned Bucky’s name loudly as you came. Bucky gave your clit one last rub before focusing on his own orgasm.
“That’s a good girl.” Bucky pants. “Fuck, fuck, fuck…” He moans.
Bucky came inside of you after a few more thrusts. His thrusts came to a stop and he pulled out of you, laying down next to you. You moved closer to him, laying your head on his chest and putting your thigh on top of his. Bucky’s vibranium hand held onto your knee, rubbing his vibranium thumb against your skin.
“I can’t wait to marry you.” You murmured softly, caressing his stubbly cheek.
“I can’t wait to marry you too, doll.” Bucky says softly, kissing your hand.
———
You’re standing in the bathroom, staring at a pregnancy test that has two pink lines on it. You and Bucky have been married for a few months and you’re finding out you’re pregnant with yours and his first child.
“Holy shit…” You mumbled in shock, staring at a positive pregnancy test. “Bucky, babe! Come here!” You shouted.
Bucky ran to the bathroom as fast as he could, almost tripping over his own feet.
“What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Bucky asks frantically.
You didn’t say anything. You smiled widely and showed him the positive pregnancy test.
“Holy shit…” He mumbles in shock. “You’re pregnant? We’re having a baby? We’re going to be parents?” He asks.
“Yes!” You confirmed.
Bucky picked you up, hugging you tightly.
“We’re going to be parents!” He said happily. “Let’s go tell everyone!” He says.
Bucky held your hand as you two walked to the lounge room where all of the Avengers are.
“We have amazing news.” Bucky says with a huge smile on his face.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to you and Bucky, waiting for you guys to tell them what the amazing news is.
“I’m pregnant!” You tell them, holding up the positive pregnancy test.
Everyone cheered and congratulated you two, giving you two hugs.
———
“Would you two like to know the genders of your babies?” The doctor asks, looking from you to Bucky.
“Babies?” You and Bucky say in union and surprise.
“You’re having twins!” She smiles.
Yours and Bucky’s eyes teared up. Bucky leaned down, kissing your lips softly. Bucky looks in your eyes and nods at you, wanting to know the genders of yours and his twin babies.
“Yes, we would like to know the genders of our babies.” You tell her.
“Twin A is a boy and twin B is a girl.” She tells you two. “Congratulations!” She smiles, giving you and Bucky the ultrasound pictures.
You and Bucky had smiles on your faces the whole car ride to the compound. You two were so excited and happy that you guys had to tell everyone.
“Hey! How was the doctor’s appointment?” Steve asks.
“We’re having twins!” Bucky tells everyone, holding up the ultrasound pictures. “Twin A is a boy and twin B is a girl!” He says excitedly.
Everyone stared at you and Bucky in surprise and gave you two hugs, congratulating you two.
“Can I tell Steve the other amazing news?” You asked, whispering to Bucky.
“Go ahead, doll.” Bucky smiles.
Steve looks from Bucky to you, waiting for the other amazing news.
“Me and Bucky have been talking about it and we want you to be the godfather to our twins.” You tell him.
“Wh-What?” Steve asks, making sure he heard you right.
“You’re the godfather of our babies, punk.” Bucky tells him, patting his shoulder.
“I’m honored to your babies’ godfather.” Steve says, hugging both of you.
Later that day, you and Bucky went home and spent the rest of the night trying to come up with baby names for yours and his twins.
“I feel like the names we’re coming up with are too basic.” Bucky says.
“Yea.” You agree. “What about we name our son after you and our daughter after your sister?” You suggested, tapping your fingers against your pregnant belly.
“You want to name our babies after me and my sister?” He asks, tearing up.
You smiled and nodded your head yes.
“I would love nothing more than to name our babies James Jr and Rebecca.” He says, smiling widely.
“It’s settled! James Jr and Rebecca will be our babies names!” You say happily.
Bucky kisses you passionately. You two smiled against each other’s lips.
“I love you, doll.” Bucky whispers against your lips.
“I love you too, sweetie.” You whispered back.
Bucky leaned his forehead against yours, looking in your eyes with the look of adoration in his eyes. You two finally have your forever after.
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
-Bucky’s Doll
143 notes ¡ View notes
daryltwdixon ¡ 24 hours ago
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Summary: After a moment of revelations with Ellie and Maria, you retreat to the quiet of upstairs, where Joel brings you something that reminds him of you
a/n: AHHHHH
After a warm shower upstairs, you step out of the bathroom, steam rising and billowing into the room as you tie the robe tightly around your waist. Ellie sits on the edge of the bed, already changed into a fresh set of clothes—new jeans and a long sleeve. The coat Maria left still sits nearby, but with the warmth inside the house, there’s little need for it.
You move to the bed, squeezing the last drops of water from your hair into a smaller towel as you approach.
“What’s all this?” you ask, eyeing the neatly folded clothes Maria left for you. Beside them, you notice a small, unopened contraption. You inspect it and discover a rubber funnel-like device, small enough to fit in your hand. Ellie giggles from her spot on the bed, flipping through a comic book. Her hair is still damp, dripping onto her new clothes.
You narrow your eyes at the small user guide that came with the contraption. Diva Cup.
And then it clicks. You start giggling, feeling heat rise in your face. Ellie joins you, her laughter filling the room.
There’s also a note on the bed. "I’m across the street.”
“Okay, okay,” you hiccup through your laughter, “Let me get my shit together and we’ll head over.”
“Can’t we just—” Ellie starts, a slight frown creasing her brow as she leans back against the headboard.
“We’re guests. We have to be good,” you say, and she rolls her eyes, gazing out the window.
You pause, watching her for a beat. “You sure you’re okay?” The question hangs in the air, heavy in the silence that follows.
“Yeah…” Ellie trails off, her eyes still on the comic book, distant.
Not wanting to press, you tell her you’ll get dressed in the bathroom, and soon enough, both of you are heading out the door.
At Maria’s, the house is quiet. You let yourselves in, taking in the cozy furniture and the comfort of the space. The warmth is a welcome reprieve from the chill of the outdoors. It reminds you more and more of home, of the life you lived with your dad. You can hardly believe you managed to survive for months without the simple comforts of electricity, warm meals, and clean clothes.
You both stop in front of the fireplace, drawn to the small chalkboard sign hanging above it.
Kevin 04/03/2000—09/29/2003 Sarah 07/20/1989—09/26/2003
“That’s the day…” you whisper, pointing to the date beneath the girl’s name. “That’s the day the world went to shit.”
“You remember it?” Ellie asks softly, her voice serious.
“It was my fifth birthday,” you reply, eyes still fixed on the names on the chalkboard. Half-melted candles sit in front of the names, their faint glow long gone. You wonder how many nights Maria and Tommy must have spent lighting those candles for their children, thinking of them.
A soft voice breaks the silence. “Hey.”
You turn to see Maria smiling at both of you. You greet her with a quiet, “Hello.”
“I just traded for some better coats,” she says, holding up two jackets in her arms. They look warm, thick, and winter-ready. “Go ahead and try them on.”
You walk over to her, grabbing the black one while Ellie takes the purple.
“Thank you,” you say, lifting it over your shoulders.
“It’s, uh…” Ellie says, eyeing her jacket. “Super fuckin’ purple.”
Maria smiles. “It’s eggplant,” she teases, wiping off the jacket and making sure it fits. “Shoes fit, too? Did you get the thing I left for you?”
“Yeah,” you nod.
“Weirdest gift ever,” Ellie mutters, turning it over in her hands.
“But useful,” Maria finishes. “Come on, let me get my scissors for that mane of yours.”
“Wait, wait–” Ellie protests.
“Just a trim! The ends!” Maria calls over her shoulder as she heads toward the other room.
Soon enough, you’re sitting down in front of Maria, who combs through your hair, snipping the tangles with every few strokes.
“So…” Ellie says, leaning forward, “Was this your job, or something, back then?”
Maria chuckles softly. “No, I was an Assistant District Attorney out of Omaha, Nebraska.”
“Sounds fancy,” you comment.
“I put bad guys in jail,” Maria replies. “But I always liked doing hair. Maybe it was a mom thing.” Her voice softens, and she glances at the memorial you’d been looking at. “I saw you looking at the memorial Tommy made.”
You look back at the names again, your stomach tightening. You nod quietly.
“I’m really sorry about your kids,” you murmur.
“It’s okay,” Maria replies, voice soft. “And… just Kevin. Sarah was Joel’s daughter.”
Your stomach drops, a tight knot forming deep in your chest. The weight of Maria’s words presses down on you, suffocating. You didn’t expect it to hit this hard. The idea of Joel’s daughter—Sarah, her name now etched in your mind like a brand—was something you never imagined he’d kept locked away, hidden behind his walls of silence. It made sense now, why he was the way he was, why he could be so hard, so distant, why he didn’t let people in. The pain, the rawness of losing someone you loved so completely—how could anyone recover from that?
Your throat tightens, and the moisture in your eyes wells up before you can stop it. You blink rapidly, feeling the sting of unshed tears, but you refuse to let them fall. You can’t. Not here, not now, not in front of Maria, who clearly didn’t mean to stir all this up. She couldn’t know.
“Oh,” Maria says, noticing the silence. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, it’s okay,” Ellie answers for you, her eyes watching you carefully.
Joel had a daughter, and he never said a word about it. You imagine, though, that losing anyone is hard enough. You never spoke about your mom after the outbreak, and your dad never brought her up, so you followed his lead. But Joel… his daughter, of all people. Dying on outbreak day. It’s devastating.
“It kinda explains him a little,” Ellie says, her voice thoughtful.
You nod, wiping your eyes and forcing a chuckle. “Definitely explains him.”
Maria shifts, standing in front of you, leaning on the back of a chair beside Ellie. “Look,” she begins, “I’m not gonna ask what you’re doing with him—”
“Good,” Ellie interrupts, her tone sharp.
“But there are clearly things you don’t know about Joel.”
“Like he used to kill people?” you say suddenly, your blood heating under your skin. “We know.”
You’ve been quiet since you arrived—polite, respectful, not once stepping out of line—but this? This is where you draw the line. You won’t let anyone question Joel's morals, not after everything he’s done for you and Ellie.
Maria’s hands resume their work on your hair, brushing through it. “So he doesn’t do that anymore? Killing people?”
“Doesn’t kill innocent ones,” Ellie shoots back, her eyes narrowing. “Besides, how do you think we made it this far? By singing show tunes and hugging it out with everyone we met?”
You cough out a laugh at that. Taking lives was never easy, but it was a necessity. It wasn’t something you wanted to do. It wasn’t something you ever did until Joel came into your life. But that wasn’t his fault. Some people were out for blood, and the only way to survive was to fight back. You’d never regret what you’d done to protect yourself and those you care about, and you sure as hell wouldn’t start questioning Joel’s actions.
“Girls,” Maria says, standing up and placing her hands on her hips. “There’s a whole lot you’re not telling me. And that’s okay. Good, even. Just…be careful who you put your faith in.” she pauses, turning, “Now, grab your coats. We’re going to the movies.”
You hesitate, then speak softly, “I’d really like to stay here, if that’s okay. It’s just… it’s a lot of people.”
Maria nods, understanding. “That’s fine. But Ellie is coming.” As Ellie opens her mouth to argue, you shoot her a look. Be nice. Be polite.
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It’s a couple of hours later when you hear the heavy, familiar footsteps coming up the stairs. You’re settled in the largest bedroom upstairs, sitting cross-legged on the bed with a book in your hands, trying to keep your mind occupied. You know who it is before he even opens the door—the unmistakable sound of heavy boots on the steps, the familiar grunt he makes when his joints protest the climb. It’s a rhythm you’ve gotten used to over the past few months.
The door creaks open, and there he is: Joel Miller, freshly cleaned, newly clothed, but with that same familiar scowl etched deep into his face. His dark eyes meet yours for a moment, then flick to the floor as he closes the door behind him. There’s something in his hands—he’s holding it behind his back, his posture slightly awkward. You don’t know why, but the way he’s standing makes your pulse quicken just a little.
“Hey,” you greet softly, trying to mask the unease bubbling up inside of you.
He gives you a small, almost hesitant nod, and then, in that way he has of doing things without really making a fuss about it, he reveals what’s in his hands. Your breath catches in your throat as you take in the sight. It’s a bow. A bow that looks carefully made, with white wood, smooth and carved beautifully, the string taut and waiting. It’s familiar and foreign at the same time.
“Found somethin’ for ya,” he says, his voice low, a touch unsure but steady.
You swallow, unsure of how to react, before you rise from the bed. Your legs feel unsteady as you walk toward him. The smell of soap and musk is faint but noticeable as you get closer, and there’s a brief moment where you can feel the heat of his body, the closeness, that makes you pause for just a second.
Joel’s eyes are on you, waiting, as you take the bow into your hands. You run your fingers over the smooth wood, tracing the shape of it. It’s different than yours, heavier, unfamiliar. But it’s a bow. And something about it feels so right. You’ve missed the one you lost in Kansas City, the one left behind in the truck when you were running for your life, when there was no time to grab it. It had been a simple, quiet tool to you, something familiar that helped keep you alive. 
“It’s beautiful,” you whisper, still in awe, your fingers lingering on the curve. You look up at him then, your voice suddenly thick with emotion. “Thank you.”
His eyes soften as he watches you, his face unreadable. There’s something in his gaze that shifts, something behind his usual guarded exterior that you hadn’t noticed before. It’s like the weight of all the days you’ve spent together suddenly comes to the forefront.
And then, before you can stop yourself, you step forward, your hands moving up to wrap around him. You can’t fully explain what it is that makes you do it. Maybe it’s the vulnerability in his eyes, or the way he’s protected you for months on end, never once thinking of leaving you behind, even when he could’ve sent you off to fend for yourself back at the house. Maybe it’s the quiet understanding that just today you learned he lost his one and only daughter. Or maybe it’s the simplest, most unexpected reason: the fact that he thought of you. When he saw that bow, he knew how much you missed yours, how it had once been an extension of you, and he had the heart to bring it to you. As a gift.
Even now, you’re afraid to look into his eyes as you reach for him, afraid you’ll find rejection, assessment, or worse—nothing. So you avert your eyes from him and close the gap between you without hesitation, wrapping your arms around him. The warmth of his body against yours is familiar, comforting, like something you didn’t know you needed until it’s right here. Your hands instinctively find his neck, fingers curling gently against the rough fabric of his shirt. You pull him closer, and for a brief moment, the world seems to hold its breath.
To your surprise, he hardly flinches, and doesn’t even pull away. His hands, though, hover over you, unsure at first, but they come down gently to your lower back, pulling you into him with a tenderness that makes your heart constrict. You can feel his too, both of your hearts pounding against your rib cages. It suddenly occurs to you that maybe he’s just as nervous as you are.
You let yourself stay there for a long moment, in the comfort of his arms, and for the first time in a long while, you don't feel the weight of the world pressing in. The tension, the fear, all of it fades away as you feel his warmth surrounding you, steady and real. But even in this fleeting peace, you can’t ignore how every nerve in your body seems to hum, to come alive in a way that feels almost overwhelming. Every inch of you craves more—more of this closeness, more of him.
As the silence stretches on, you feel his arms settle more securely around you, pulling you in even closer, as if he finally is allowing himself to be close to you. His head dips into the side of your neck, and you can feel the warmth of his breath against your skin, slow and steady. The quiet of the moment is broken only by the sound of his inhale, and you realize, for the first time, just how much you’ve missed this kind of tenderness. It’s as if, in his presence, you don’t have to worry about anything, not for a single second.
It feels so right, so good to be held like this. To have him, this person who has protected you with every ounce of his being, just hold you—no words, just the comfort of being together. You let yourself sink into it, letting go of all the tension that’s built up over days, weeks, months of constant survival.
But then, the moment shifts. When he pulls back just slightly, the warmth of his hands on your back moves, and you feel the shift in the air between you. His gaze lifts to meet yours, and you find yourself locking eyes with him, the intensity of his stare almost too much to bear. His chocolate brown eyes are searching you in a way you don’t quite understand. 
His hand finds your cheek, thumb brushing away something wet—tears you didn’t even realize had fallen.
“What is it?” he whispers, his voice rough, strained. It’s the first time you’ve ever heard him speak with that kind of softness—like he’s afraid of the answer, afraid of what it might mean.
Sniffling, you shake your head, “I just…all this…” you sigh, looking up at him, unable to string together the right words, “You…”
His dark eyes still search yours, the silence stretching between you, heavy with unspoken words. You can hardly believe he hasn’t let you go. It’s as if he’s holding onto you as much as you’re holding onto him, both of you unsure if this is just a fleeting moment—or something more, something that might change everything between you forever.
Joel whispers your name, and that’s when you realize, with a sudden clarity, that the space between you is almost gone. His eyes have dropped to your lips, and your heart races in your chest. His thumb is still there, gently on your cheek, like he’s waiting, watching you for any sign that you might pull away. But you won’t. You can’t. You’d never pull away from him, never let him go now. Not when this moment feels like everything you’ve ever wanted.
It hits you then, deep in your chest, in your gut—you realize that this is it. This is everything. All the times you caught him looking at you with something more than just the need to protect you. All the times you found yourself looking for him in every room, in every corner, as if your heart knew where he was before your mind did. Even as a teenager, it was never like this. It was never so full of trust, so full of need, of longing. Of…love.
Joel Miller was very close to you now. 
So close you could feel his breath against you, shallow and almost hesitant. He was moving slowly—agonizingly slow—and it took every ounce of willpower not to close the distance yourself. But you couldn’t. You needed him to show you that he felt this too, that it wasn’t just some fleeting crush, that this wasn’t just a momentary rush of emotions. After all this time, after seven years of separation, of waiting, of silently longing for him, you needed to know this was real.
Seven years of missing him. Seven years of dreaming about his broad shoulders, the scruff on his face, the way he moved and spoke. Now, you were here, living through the days side by side, finding comfort in each other in ways that had once seemed impossible. Protecting each other. Looking for each other. Sharing these small, fleeting moments that somehow felt like everything. This wasn’t just some passing thing. This was something both of you needed—something that, now that it was on the edge of being realized, felt so right, so complete, that there was no going back.
“Joel,” you whisper, your lips barely parting as he hovers inches away. The word feels like a plea, a desperate, silent begging for him to bridge the space between you. To finally take what’s been his for so long, what’s always been his, even when neither of you could admit it. There had never been anyone else, not in the way there had always been him. Not just because of your life in isolation, but because no one else could make you feel like this.
His hand that’s cupping your jaw moves then, sliding into the nape of your neck, fingers threading into your hair, gently pulling you closer as he leans in.
Joel’s lips are so, so soft. 
It’s a slow kiss, like he’s taking his time, like he’s savoring the moment—every inch of it. The contrast of his rough stubble brushing against your skin feels jarring yet comforting, a sensation that sends shivers down your spine. Your heart races, painfully tight in your chest, and a rush of warmth floods through you, spreading like wildfire, lighting every nerve. For a second, you feel weightless, caught in the storm of it all, the world outside forgotten.
He’s so warm.
The heat of him, his arm tightening around your waist, pulling you closer, his hand still tangled in your hair, the solid press of his chest against yours—it’s all consuming. Waves of warmth flow from him, surrounding you, filling every part of you, inside and out. You can feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against yours, a calming, grounding force.
Then his tongue brushes against your lower lip, hesitant, testing. It’s so gentle, so careful that it makes your heart skip a beat. You nearly jump out of your skin, the sensation unfamiliar, intense. But then, you feel his smile against your lips, soft and reassuring. You open for him instinctively, feeling his warmth deepen as he moves closer, his tongue sliding into your mouth, slow and deliberate.
You can tell how mindful he’s being, how aware he is of how new this all is for you. Your movements are unsure, tentative, but somehow, with him, it feels like the most natural thing in the world. And despite all the uncertainty, despite the unfamiliarity, it feels so right, so entirely... him.
You both pull away to catch your breath, the air between you thick with the weight of the moment. But as soon as his lips leave yours, you can't help it. You lean in again, just a quick, soft peck, wanting more, needing more. Your body is reacting to him in ways you’ve never known, something deep inside you pulling and longing for more of him.
When you pull back, you catch sight of his cheeks—there’s a pink tinge there, soft and almost vulnerable. His expression is still serious, brows furrowed, but there’s something else behind it now, something gentler.
“Not that scowl again,” you whisper with a teasing smile, your hand reaching up to smooth the wrinkle between his brows. It’s a small gesture, but you can't help it, a way of soothing him even as you try to lighten the tension.
Joel’s eyes soften, and the faintest trace of a smile pulls at the corner of his lips. But it’s fleeting, replaced by something unreadable. His hand moves to your wrist, brushing it gently with his thumb. He holds it there for a moment, as if weighing something heavy.
With a deep sigh, he drops his gaze, breaking eye contact, and his hand falls away from your wrist. “I can’t do this, kid,” he mutters, shaking his head as he pulls back, his body language closing off.
The first thing you feel is the coldness—the literal gap between you as he releases you from his embrace. Your hands fall back to your sides, and the warmth that once existed between you both is suddenly gone, replaced by an empty chill. It’s a feeling you’ve known too well—the sting of rejection. The emptiness of being left behind. The gnawing, familiar ache that creeps in when you realize you’re not good enough. Abandoned.
You try to breathe through it, but the weight of it threatens to choke you. “I get it,” you whisper, though you can barely hear your own words, “if you don't want this…don’t want me. I understand why.” You want to scream, to beg him to change his mind, but the lump in your throat keeps you silent. Instead, you take a step back, your heart pounding in your chest. You want to believe it’s not true, but you can already feel the walls closing in.
Joel’s eyes flicker to you, a storm of conflicting emotions clouding his expression. His voice softens, low and almost tender. “Trust me, baby. I want it. I want you.” His hands come to his face, pushing back his hair in a heavy sigh, his words full with longing. “But I’m so damn screwed up. The things I’ve done…”
You step closer, your hand reaching for his chest, your voice steady despite the tightness of your throat, “You’re a good man, Joel,” you say, the sincerity in your words cutting through the tension. “Please. I’ve only ever wanted this with you. Ever since I’ve known you.”
Joel’s jaw tightens at the words. His gaze drifts away, the weight of his past hanging over him like a shadow. “What? When you nearly shot me with an arrow when I showed up at your door?” he chuckles darkly.
You shake your head quickly, a quiet urgency in your tone. “No, even before then,” you admit, stepping closer, your voice trembling with vulnerability.
His eyes soften again, but the hesitance lingers, like he's trying to convince himself of something. “Jesus, kid...” His words are barely above a whisper, his hand resting on yours as it sits on his chest.
“When are you going to stop calling me that?” you tease a little.
He doesn't answer at first, letting the silence stretch between you. Then, he takes a breath, meeting your eyes with resolve. “I don’t think this is a good idea,” you murmur. “There’s so many other men… boys your age.” 
You can’t help the painful twist in your chest. “I’d rather be dead than have any of them,” you say, voice quiet but sure, your heart pounding. “I want you. I always have.”
Joel scoffs, almost a laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “Not sure which one of us is more sick in the head,” he mutters. “You for wanting some old man, or me for wanting a girl I’ve known since she was fifteen…”
The space between you is charged, but still, you move closer, gently closing the distance. “I’m not scared of you, Joel.”
The silence lingers between you, thick and heavy, pressing in from all sides. You can feel the weight of the distance he’s placed between you, the rejection still echoing in the pit of your stomach. Every inch of your body aches to bridge that gap, to make him see that you don’t care about his age, his past, his doubts. You’ve never wanted anyone else. It’s always been him.
And then, without warning, Joel reaches for your face again. His eyes, dark and stormy, lock onto yours, and for a moment, you think he might pull away once more. But his hand moves to your face, cupping it gently yet firmly, as if he’s pulling you into him with just that touch.
“I’m already goin’ to hell,” he mutters, his voice gravelly and deep, his gaze never leaving your lips. Before you can process what’s happening, his mouth crashes into yours again—fierce, desperate, hungry.
This kiss is different. It’s everything the last one wasn’t. There’s no hesitation now, no uncertainty—only need and heat. His lips claim yours with an urgency that steals your breath, and you can feel his hands tightening around you, pulling you closer. His fingers grip the back of your head as he deepens the kiss, urging you into him like there’s no turning back.
You don’t fight it. You respond with equal fervor, your arms wrapping around him, hands sinking into his shoulders as you press yourself as close as you can, desperate for the connection. Every inch of you aches for him, and the moment feels like it’s stretching into eternity.
When he finally pulls back, it’s only to breathe. His chest heaves against yours, and you can feel the rapid beat of his heart beneath your palms. His eyes lock onto yours, wild and intense, as if he’s memorizing every inch of you. His touch is still gentle, but there’s an edge to it, a possessiveness that lingers in the way his hands slide down to your waist, holding you close like you’re the one thing keeping him tethered to reality.
“I ain’t just this,” Joel whispers, his voice rough with emotion, each word weighted with a kind of raw sincerity you’ve never heard from him. “I want more. I want a life with you. Here.”
Your heart stutters in your chest as you search his eyes. There’s something there—vulnerable yet determined. You’ve never seen him like this before, so open, so unsure yet so certain at the same time. It makes your chest tighten with a mix of fear and hope, a sense of something deeper than you’ve allowed yourself to acknowledge before now.
“We can do whatever you want after we get Ellie to the Fireflies,” you say, your voice a little shaky, but the words come out with a lightness that contrasts the gravity of the moment. Your fingers idly play with his hair, grounding yourself in the simple act, but the truth of his words still rings in your mind, echoing with a promise you can barely begin to process.
Joel hesitates, the weight of the silence between you thick, but then he nods once, his lips brushing against your forehead in a soft, lingering kiss. His hands slide down your back again, urging you closer, and this time you don’t pull away. He keeps kissing you, like you’re the only thing, only person that’s ever mattered.
And for the first time in a long time, in this dangerous, unforgiving world, you feel like you’ve finally found something worth holding onto.
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randomfoggytiger ¡ 1 day ago
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Mulder's Alien Baby Baby Trauma In-Depth (Part XVII): Two Steps Forward, and Going Down Swinging
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In the wake of feeling professionally replaced (and betrayed), Mulder continues to commandeer the Galpex-Orpheus oil rig... that is, until Doggett begins to assert his own dominance, too.
In other words: how does their dynamic change, now that Agent Doggett is head of the files?
SHIFTING HIERARCHIES
We left off with Agent Mulder making Agent Doggett jump through hoops to prove himself-- antics which have, by degrees, whittled away the patience Doggett kept doling out for his partner's wayward partner.
Now, however: enough is enough.
"Agent Mulder! Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!” Doggett demands, roaring up behind the aforementioned man (who is studiously ignoring every word he’s saying.) Patience thoroughly thinned, his voice-- while controlled-- projects across the oil rig: the days of biting his tongue are over. “Like it or not I've been assigned this case-- one call to the Deputy Director and you’re canned for insubordination.”
Instead of addressing his claims, Mulder deflects, “How are you going to call when the radio’s broken?”
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“Hey, don’t push me, Agent Mulder.”
Mulder pulls up short, turns, and faces Doggett coolly. “You won’t do it.”
“You think?”
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“We're both in the same boat, Agent Doggett. We're just paddling in different directions.” Which is an admission, albeit late and smugly given, of Mulder’s feelings and reservations: Doggett’s not a bad man, nor a simple cog in the machine. He is, however, allowing himself to be used as such-- Mulder believes-- which is a danger in and of itself. But instead of communicating this directly, he characteristically dodges a straight answer-- a behavior Mulder is forced to overcome (forced to grow up from, in a way) halfway through Vienen.
Fed up with uncooperative grabs for leadership, Doggett lays down the law. “No, we’re not going in different directions here-- we’re going in one direction. My direction.” 
Snapping his head in a faint nod, Mulder’s mouth drops open slightly as he considers how to challenge this new angle. Despite feeling affronted, a tinge more respect floats to the surface: he can't help respecting someone who confronts him honestly, in spite (or because of) all his difficult, sanctimonious, cryptid approaches and critiques-- trust through transparency, essentially (which is also how he can easily be manipulated, be it from Phoebe Green or Alex Krycek or Diana Fowley or Karin Berquist or etc.) 
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Following Doggett’s authoritative footsteps, Mulder raises his voice across the sparse, accumulated distance. Nasally and matter-of-fact, he argues, “I don't think Kersh expects you to come back empty-handed on this one. Since you have already told me about what you think about this case in so many words, I don't see you coming back with anything that's gonna protect anybody's business interests.” 
Thoroughly riled, Doggett stops and slowly turns, slightly grimacing with contempt. “Wow, you really got me pegged. Anything that doesn't fit in my narrow field of vision might as well not exist, is that right Agent Mulder?” 
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Mulder stares, then slightly nods and gulps-- pegged, and a little impressed at Doggett's combined insight and complete self-control. An accusation of this nature would have made him or Scully blaze up, but not his replacement. Agent Doggett, then, isn’t as soft-bellied as he'd supposed... which shouldn't be too surprising, given the man's penchant for taking undeserved punches and still saving lives days later (post here.)
Although Mulder doesn’t deny the accusation, he doesn’t need to: his faulty perception has been revealed. The past has already justified his replacement: Doggett, for all his practical, probable skepticism, still encouraged Scully to take leaps of faith in their cases-- he’d studied Mulder’s methods, notated its success, and trusted to that process, to the work, in Mulder's absence. The exiled x-file agent doesn’t know this, of course-- his former partner hasn’t told him about her new partner’s recruitment, or about Doggett’s journey towards a form of belief, or about Doggett’s steadfastness and loyalty. And why hasn't Scully told him about everything? Because Mulder didn’t want to hear it; and, resurrections and PTSD and abruptions aside, perhaps she wasn’t ready to get into a larger conversation over issues that would resolve themselves in a few weeks (via her maternity leave), especially in light of their recent reconnection. This is, of course, speculation built off of Mulder's hinted one-liner (previous post here), but it fits quite well with what we’re given in Alone. 
Besides, Mulder previously glimpsed Doggett's floundering struggle with, but not complete rejection of, the unknown (post here)-- a truth he'd set aside in wounded pride (post here.)
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“So why is this man Taylor lying?” Doggett asks, seeing that he’s nailed Mulder’s motives and proven himself again in some small measure. “You do know he's lying, don’t you?”
Bobbing his head and licking his lips in agreement, Mulder drops the cynicism and gives John Doggett an honest, upfront answer: “I think he knows the truth about what happened. And he may not be the only one.”
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The other agent, however, is not charmed by this admission-- too little, too late; too many bits and pieces that add up to a mercurial, paranoid loon. 
“I never would have believed it, these stories about you”-- gives away Agent Doggett’s position, as well. Up to this point, he’d borne Mulder’s antics with the graceful assumption that there was ‘more than meets the eye’. Agent Mulder was the crazy man burrowed away in the basement, yes; but the extent of his conspiracy theories for something as simple as turf wars over an oil rig-- Doggett assumes-- frustrates, baffles, and disappoints. 
Eyebrows pumping-- guard shooting right back up-- Mulder prods, “Really-- what stories are those?”
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“That you can find a conspiracy at a church picnic.”
Again, nodding; again, reasserting dominance; again, changing his opinion, Mulder concludes, “What church?” before he walks ahead, leaving Doggett’s consternation in the dust.  
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GOING DOWN SWINGING
Here we reach the first marker for Mulder’s resignation decision, and the boldest on-screen nudge, thus far, of his impending fatherhood-- which we all know at this point is criminal, particularly so because David Duchovny would have loved to flesh out the more personal aspects of his character’s challenges and changes. But I digress.  
Scully calls the oil rig with salient and pressing information; and before she’s either disconnected or connected through to Doggett, Mulder intercepts the comms. 
“Well I’m sorry, Agent Doggett’s gone fishing. Can I take a message please?” He slides into the chair, lips gleefully glued to the microphone-- tickled to talk to Scully.
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“Mulder?” she questions-- not tickled to find him there. Big consequences-- huge-- if this gets out. 
“I was just in the neighborhood.” 
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“Mulder, you can’t just flout orders like this. It’s not like old times-- Kersh isn’t going to tolerate this.” 
“Kersh doesn’t need to know.”
“Mulder….” 
It’s like old times: Mulder sneaking off to the sea somewhere, unable to let the evidence get away yet unwilling to take Scully down with him (ex. Tooms, Triangle, etc.) And like old times, he knows he can completely trust her: “You need me out here, Scully, you know that better than anyone.”
But a neat little twist happens (the second for Mulder in a span of hours): Scully agrees with him, openly-- “I hate to say, as of this morning, I’d have to agree”-- so openly that he immediately realizes she’s been sneaking around, too.
“Who’s flouting orders-- you found something, didn’t you, in that victim’s body? The virus?” 
It’s a delightful little punch of character work, a reminder to the audience that Scully has grown since Mulder’s abduction-- that she is willing to take leaps separate from her partner (old and new) in order to follow her own instincts. In this case, conducting Simon de la Cruz’s autopsy instead of shipping the body back wholesale to Mexico, weaseling around top-down commands in order to do so. Mulder takes this in stride, without comment: it's just enough like "old times"-- as he mentioned in the previous post-- that he can lose track of the differences in his post-abduction reality.
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“Yes, I did; and it’s dead, Mulder.” 
“Dead? What killed it?” Puzzled, sucked into another mystery, he swipes at his nose, churning through variables. 
“Possibly radiation.”
“But that’s not possible--”
“I know,” Scully cuts in, not wanting to waste a precious second. “And this could be an isolated event, but that he’s infected at all means that everybody out there could be at risk. And that means you and Agent Doggett.” 
She stresses 'you', here, but the original purpose of her call was to back up Doggett-- an excellent carry-over from Medusa, and a neat little foreshadowing of the guilt complex she will battle in Alone. Even so, she, again, stresses 'you' because Mulder's unaccounted for presence has thrown a wrench in her subterfuge.
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“We got to quarantine this rig,” Mulder decides. 
“No, Mulder-- you need to get off the rig.”
His face shifts, tongue lapping his lips as Scully offers up a faulty alternative.
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“Have Agent Doggett give the order. We can quarantine you and the crew when we get back there.” 
“Scully, if these men are infected, the last place we want them is onshore where they can infect other people. You’re sitting on the answer right there, Scully. The body: you can find the virus, you can find what knocks it out, you can find what kills it.” 
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Uncomfortably, she shifts, eyes clouding over, voice strained. “And what if I can’t?”-- the old undertow that steals her confidence from time to time, the one she battled in his absence (i.e. Patience, Badlaa, etc.), rears its ugly head.
And this, this is the moment Mulder realizes the costs of his position: tilting his head, he contemplates the possibility of his death, troubled--
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--then freezes, looking up at the sky as he remembers his child. 
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“When he, uh,” Mulder begins, closing his eyes and wincing over his words, “when he gets old enough, tell the kid I went down swinging.” His tone is no longer evocative, insistent, or charged… in fact, his voice has dropped a few decibels and sounds someplace close to defeated. 
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In the fervor of saving the world, chasing the truth, hounding after the "Them" that continually puppet and destroy the lives of others, he forgot about the one person who can’t take care of itself, who utterly and wholly relies on him (and Scully.) In Three Words, Mulder knew the baby was his (posts here and here) but was too consumed with staying afloat to fully embrace the child, let alone the responsibility of having someone else rely on him. He was afraid, moreover, to drag Scully and the baby down with him. In Empedocles, he and his partner had a talk off-screen (post here) that prepared him for the next step: a present at the apartment, a hand on her belly, a commitment to the child in the form of a Mulder family heirloom. And now he’s here, commitment is staring him in the face. As Mulder feared in Three Words, he is letting Scully and the baby down. The only recourse left (is to solve the case, save the day, and get home in one piece. 
But what about next time? Who can he rely on to save the world in his stead? It’s a question Mulder has to confront and come to terms with-- and one he does (or attempts to do) in Vienen’s final scene.
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Scully immediately heaves a sigh at his words-- refusing, absolutely refusing to engage with this hypothetical-- and orders him, “Let me talk to Agent Doggett.” Whenever Mulder gives up, it’s usual for Scully to step up to the plate and drag him to reason… however, it’s new that she asks for someone else in his stead. Is she replacing him, considering his opinion less than or his tactics faulty? No: she is simply doing everything she can to make sure the father of her child makes it off that rig. 
Her partner, meanwhile, resents that Doggett’s advice would be worth her attention. “Agent Doggett’s not here right now.”
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“Yes, I am,” barks Doggett, a frowning, sturdy figure in the doorway. When he demands, “Who’s on the radio?” Mulder brushes him off-- plopping the headphones down, flailing his arms, and stalking out of the room-- without disconnecting the channel.
It’s likely, perhaps, that Doggett could have talked to Agent Scully if he hadn’t followed Mulder out, incensed again. So, did one agent storm and shrug off the other, on purpose, to draw the bull away with a flag?
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BATTLE PLANS
“Who you talkin’ to?” Doggett insists, escalating to a sharp, “Hey!” when he isn’t answered. 
“That was Agent Scully.”
“What’d she say?”
Mulder keeps walking, facing away as they head into a sheet of steam. “She said it was lucky that I’m out here.”  
“No, you’re lucky I’m lettin’ you stay.” Stressed, wired, and at his limit, Doggett reroutes his voice from its taut, wounded note to a hushed, firm one. “You got information important to this investigation, then I better well know about it. I’m in charge out here, Agent Mulder.” 
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Again, Mulder responds to that transparently commanding appeal, turning around and looking his compatriot directly in the eye. 
“Alright, then go ahead and take charge. Only you might not like what it means in this case. What you’re going to have to do with that information you’re so anxious to have.”
And, while the dialogue and marked lack of a response isn’t… the best writing, the challenge is clear: here’s your shot, prove me wrong. 
Agent Doggett, sensing that challenge, is ill at ease; but he takes up the gauntlet, regardless, and leads the lock-down debriefing on the rig. Mulder hangs back, respecting his position-- approving, silently; and when Doggett walks over later, he invites him along without second thought to locate one of the missing crewmen. 
It’s the barest whiff of camaraderie, but both men seem to have struck a bargain for another test drive. 
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Fresh off of quarantine orders, replacement agent wants answers: “So, what are you hoping to find, Agent Mulder? Honestly?” 
As they talk shop, Mulder finally begins to share theories-- or shadows of theories, opening up the more Doggett takes his answers in stride. It’s the same method Agent Doggett used on newly un-parterned Scully, one that seems to work well on both Spookys.
Still, all they’re working off of is hunches; and Doggett isn’t too keen on building an investigation solely around guesswork-- particularly when it's Mulder's guesswork; and even more particularly when it shuts down an oil rig involved in a dicey American and Mexican territory dispute. 
“You know? I quarantine a whole oil rig without any evidence to support what you’re saying-- not one thing-- but you still have yet to give me a straight answer as to what you think is going on out here. If these men are hiding something, if they’re protecting something, what is it?” 
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“I don’t know yet,” Mulder confesses.
“And when you do, let me know-- 'cause I’ve got to get on the radio to justify this action.” Mirroring their walkabout before, Doggett switches up positions by taking the lead.
And like before, Mulder takes up pursuit-- but this time, he hangs back a second, struggling internally. This time, he has to confront an uncomfortable truth: if he's going to work with Doggett, he's going to have to trust him a bit more-- a precursor to that leap of faith. This time, Mulder must acknowledge that two are still better than one, even if the other half of the team is not someone he cares to confide in-- even if he, himself, is technically no longer part of the team.
What would mucking up the potential of the case through reticence prove? And truthfully, that wasn't (and isn't) his goal, regardless-- but he still needs to communicate this; and to communicate this, Mulder has to stop clinging to a bruised ego and admit to his own shortcomings, baring the fragility of his theories to the new X-Files head for assessment and judgment. In short, he must be vulnerable.
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“Agent Doggett,” he calls out, “I didn’t come out here just to bust you. I’m telling you, I’ve seen this substance. I’ve seen how it can take over a man’s body. This crew could be infected and not even know it. They may have no idea they’re being controlled.” 
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Giving him a processing, though still skeptical look, Doggett leans over, swipes some oil on his finger, and purses his lips as he prods, “This? This is what you’re saying is going to take over my body?”
Mulder jostles his head, annoyed and uncomfortable. 
“Well,” Doggett continues, “when’s it going to kick in?” 
Mouth clenched, the oil expert shakes his head stiffly. “That’s not how it works,” he insists softly. “It body jumps from man-to-man; and I’m not sure that it’s in all oil.” 
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Turning sarcastic at Mulder’s uncertainty, Agent Doggett adds, “Well, that’s a relief, because only ninety percent of the planet is dependent on the stuff.” 
This statement snaps the disparate pieces together; and Mulder's face hardens in realization: the representative of Galpex oil lied. 
“What, he’s infected, too?” Doggett snips; but his asides and warnings-- “You’re reaching, Agent Mulder”-- are lost in the other's madcap rambling. Finally, he turns to leave, only stopping with restraint as Mulder calls after him.
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“Agent Doggett! What, wh-what, what if that’s why this man is hiding-- Diego Garza-- because he knows what they’re up to; and he knows what they’re up to because he’s the only one who’s not infected with this alien virus?” 
“Alright, he knows,” Doggett concedes, willing to play along. “Why doesn’t he just come down and tell us?” 
And suddenly, without warning, an alarm blares out across the rig. Doggett takes off, but it’s Mulder who passes him up and arrives at their destination first. 
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The radio room is on fire.
CONCLUSION
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And there we have it-- progress has been made.
Now: into the inferno.
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
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pagerunner-j ¡ 6 months ago
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I have had a miserable couple of weeks, but today? It’s 75 degrees, clear skies, light breeze, I’ve got one of these, and things are, at this particular moment, lovely.
(Also, locals or determined geoguessers can probably tell where I am. But fuck it. ;)
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thelaurenshippen ¡ 8 months ago
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open ai made a little post about how they chose their chatbot voices and two things stood out to me:
a) I am genuinely pleased and surprised that the voices come from specific real people that they hired and paid, rather than being built off of all of the data open ai has scraped. the voice for siri did one job for one company 20 years ago and now she is literally everywhere without ever being compensated by apple or even acknowledged as the voice. there's simply no way she was paid enough in that original job. whereas, open ai says "each actor receives compensation above top-of-market rates, and this will continue for as long as their voices are used in our products." this could mean literally anything (what market rate are we going above? does continue mean they get residuals or get paid for doing more sessions?) but, christ, at least the actors are doing it with full knowledge of what their voices are being used for and can decide for themselves if the compensation is enough
b) the post talks about working with "award-winning casting directors" to get the voices. first of all, yay for paying casting directors! we love to see it. but they also say the CDs received over 400 submissions in a week and they state that like a big number and it's just...not at all. and look, without knowing the intricacies of the casting process, it's hard to know what approach the CDs took - it's very possible they were selective from the jump and 400 is a lot from the pool they were tapping. 400 would be a lot if you were going to the agencies directly and asking for names, but there's just no way in hell open ai went after big stars for this. so it would've been a pool of unknowns. in which case, 400 is laughably small. even if you're not using the big casting sites like actorsaccess, I've worked on projects with CDs and their own internal systems where we've gotten over 100 submissions for a single role. I've posted roles on casting sites and received literally thousands of submissions in just a few days
look, I have a very limited perspective on this - I am not a casting director (imo, one of the most important and undervalued jobs in hollywood) and I, in fact, hate the process of casting with a passion. but 400 just seemed like such a tiny pool to pull from and, idk, it heartens me! it's heartening to think that there's very little interest from actors and agents to be doing this kind of stuff. and absolutely no shade to the actors who did--I want actors to get their bag however they want as long as it's, like, safe sane and consensual, you know? but there's something encouraging about thinking that open ai hired some big casting agency to get their foot into the voice acting door and people didn't come running
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gibbearish ¡ 5 months ago
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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gxlden-angels ¡ 1 year ago
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Hello! I apologize if this is a nosy question, but what is the silly feelings wheel app you were talking about in a previous post? My therapist and I have been working on identifying feelings but I still very much rely on a list of feeling words to have any idea what I’m feeling, so it could be a helpful resource. No worries if you don’t want to share, just thought I would ask :)
It's called How We Feel! I'm not sure if it's available on all devices yet, but it's on ios and the google play store for sure.
I've been using it for about a year. It's more of a chart than a wheel but people usually recognize the wheel better so that's what I call it. When you first start it has a 10-part tutorial about emotional acceptance and regulation, then it has suggestions for each category of emotion. You can access both at any time tho after those first 10 days.
It has a share option so you can have friends, which has been great for me cause it prompts me to check on friends and them to do the same for me. It allows you to just respond with a little emoji in like a "I'm here for you" little notification to your friend, or you can reach out to your friend on your own. Its really helped me cause I'm bad at reaching out when I need support so to me and I'm bad about taking on other's problems even when I can't handle it so being able to send a little emoji instead to make sure my friends know I'm there if they need me and them doing the same has been great
#I know I sound like I'm a being sponsored by this app but it's genuinely been incredible for my mental health#whenever I get frustrated in therapy now about not being able to describe a feeling my therapist asks me to think about the chart#he'll ask me what color I feel and go 'good! do you want to narrow it down from there or continue with just that?' and it's so helpful#I have such terrible alexithymia from both cptsd and autism#it took a year of working with him to even recognize when I felt angry or hungry or sick#my friends and I check in on each other regularly now but it feels less intrusive#cause it feels like indirectly reaching out so it's less pressure to directly respond#and it might not feel the same for everyone since it could be jarring to get a notification saying friend feels miserable#but now that I've gotten used to it I don't feel like I need to solve their problems and make them feel better#Like they might be miserable because they're sick! So I check in and they say they're sick but okay and I don't feel the impulse to solve#like I would if I just didn't see them then saw them in person and saw they looked miserable#I don't blame myself or feel like I personally need to fix everything because I know they felt like that from an outside source I can't#control but I can certainly help them if they want! It's their choice tho and I don't feel bad if they don't/I can't#I feel less need to control my emotions/force them to be positive like I used to cause nobody feels positive 24/7 and I can see it#I don't feel the need to be politely content like I did in church because no one can be 24/7. I've attempted to get my family to start but#they're still stuck in needing to not be openly negative. It also helps me accept that negative feelings don't last forever#Someone feeling miserable because they're sick eventually puts they feel tired. Then chill and I know they feel better and I feel better too#Anyways thanks for listening to me ramble about my silly little feelings wheel app I hope it helps you like it helped me anon <3
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gorespawn ¡ 1 year ago
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I listened to some of your music recs and they're so good! You have great taste! Do you have any more music recs?
shaking with an excitement that cannot even be graded on the richter scale. oh boy, do i!
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lxnarphase ¡ 2 months ago
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━ ❝ OH, IT'S MINIKUNA ! ❞
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✮₊‧⁺...content: heian era!sukuna x wife!reader, fluff, mentions of childbirth, sukuna is an overly proud father, sukuna is whipped for his wife
✮₊‧⁺...lunar's note: based of this little blurbie and this one too !! needed some fluff with kuna bc he would love having a baby girl idc what anyone says !!! also i did my best describing the birthing process in a time accurate period but it's definitely a bit inaccurate because...i have never had a baby LOL
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no one has ever seen sukuna ryomen, king of curses, wince before.
not until today, at the wrath of his pregnant wife who somehow got a hold of his fingers instead of his hand.
one of the nurses did warn him to not give you his finger and to ensure you always hold his hand. but by the gods, he swears you almost ripped his finger off.
it's cute to him, however, when you attempt to curse him out.
'gods, sukuna, i despise your entire being!'
'i know, my wife.'
'i should've never let you get me pregnant, you animal!'
'you begged for it, my wife.'
'i am never letting you bed me again, use your hand for the rest of your existence!'
'you can't keep your hands off me, my wife, no need to lie.'
but the sigh of relief, the way you instantly look down and coo once the sound of wailing filled the air...it makes him melt just a little bit.
he can't deny, seeing you in pain made him heated. it took everything in him not to kill every midwife, nurse, and lady-in-waiting in your birth room for not being able to make this process completely painless.
except chiyo. he would have to reward your personal physician for preparing you so well for this...
what did the old hag like again? wines, meats, gifts for her grandchildren back at home?
hm, yes, that would be great for her. of course, he'll say it was from you. the king of curses shows gratitude for no one.
he's pulled out of his thoughts at the hushed whispers once the other women exam the baby before following your unspoken request to hold your child.
"d-do you think lord sukuna will harm our lady for this...?"
"i hope not, surely he can make an exception, t-they both are still young and can always try for more!"
"but he's the king of curses, t-there no way he won't have a reaction!"
before he can demand what they find so important to discuss in front of you, chiyo hushes the girls with a wave of her hand, ushering the girls to help wipe off your sweat, tears, and clean off the baby—gentle like it's the finest glass, she instructs—before turning to sukuna with a knowing smile.
"well, your greatness...congratulations on having a healthy and gorgeous little girl," she hums, wiping her hands with a clean cloth before going to rinse her hands to help stitch any rips and clean you up.
the room falls silent aside from your soft little coos and the wails of your daughter as you brush the wet, fluffy hair on her little head.
all the women in the room continue to work, but it's clear they are silently waiting for his outburst.
everyone knows that a proper heir to any throne is a boy...but now, sukuna's first born child is a girl.
but rather angry, yelling, and threats to your and your child's life, the room is filled with Suku's booming laughter, which practically shakes the entire room.
instead of an enraged expression, pure delight, and excitement are painted on his face as he sits next to you on the soft cushiony bedding on the floor, his hand caressing the rounded cheek of your newborn.
"so, you've given me a girl," he hums in delight, all four of his eyes narrowing. "this will be the one who takes over my throne once i decide to step down?"
this thing, this tiny, itty bitty baby...came from you both? it's almost laughable how small this baby is compared to his hand, that something so little could be related to him.
she's...nothing short of perfect. "absolutely divine...she will not just be beautiful like her mother, but as powerful as both of us."
he's so proud of you and your child. he would shower your daughter with riches, love, and anything she could ever want and ask for.
but, he couldn't lie.
she's a damned fat baby, big head and all.
"sukuna, watch your mouth!"
he can't help but laugh, not realizing his thoughts came out of his mouth. "what, it's a good thing! means she's healthy," he boasts with a grin, leaning down closer to see her better.
"she looks strong already. as soon as she is able, i will personally teach her how to be a truly malevolent little princess, how to properly slit the necks of her enemies, how to—!”
oh, he is so excited, it's adorable.
“sukuna, shush, i just gave birth to a child with a massive head like yours, give me a moment," you say with a light laugh, your smile still reaching your clearly tired eyes.
“…apologies, my wife.”
chiyo can't help but laugh with you she finishes applying the healing ointment on your lower body, using a bit of her cursed energy to speed up the healing process to help you skip any serious pain.
after all, nothing but the best physician for you in sukuna's palace.
"always such an excitable boy, my lord, ever since you were a young man," she hums, helping one of the midwives properly wrap your baby in the soft, clean cloth.
"be gentle with her," you instruct him, gently moving your arms toward him so he could take the little bundle. he's...nervous, but he hides it well.
you place your daughter in his arms and he looks down at her, suddenly conscious of how loud he's breathing. she's got his hair, still a bit wet but soft and fluffy. it's pink, just like his.
a pleased rumble vibrates his chest, and he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
but then...her eyes open.
both sets.
he almost didn't notice it at first, they're just so small, but they're there. the same color as yours, pretty and big, filled with so much life.
his eyes burn, vision getting blurry. no words come to his head, he can't think of anything to say. he's so caught up in his thought he doesn't even notice chiyo ushering the other girls in the room out and shutting the door before quietly tending to you with water or food.
she knows that look, you do as well. she's been around longer than uraume to know her master, knowing the king of curses since his young years as the unwanted child of the village, abandoned by his mother for his 'horrid' appearance.
she was lucky to have found him before the villagers got to him, torches, axes, pitchforks and daggers in hand to take care of the child who they believed to have brought misfortune to their home.
getting him to safety was one of the best decisions she'd ever made, king of curses or not. no child deserved to be abandoned like that. and now, he's seeing himself in that tiny little being in his arms right now...chiyo can only imagine what he's feeling.
so, out of respect, she keeps her gaze averted, pretending she does not see the misty gaze he gives your daughter. this is a moment for you and him, and she does her best to make all her movements as quiet as possible.
all sukuna can think about in this moment is how he used to be just as tiny as this. he was just as vulnerable in his mothers arms. he couldn't talk, couldn't speak, couldn't fend for himself.
yet, his parents looked down at him just like this and decided he was an abomination and didn't give him a chance.
but now?
sukuna knows he would never, ever let anything happen to this little bundle in his arms. he would rather destroy the entire planet before letting anything happen to his baby girl. no one would make his little one suffer and live to see another day.
he flinches just a little, feeling your soft hand rubbing his bicep. "it's okay, my love," you softly coo at him, reaching up to wipe a tear from his eye before it had a chance to drip down his cheek. "she's going to grow up feeling loved and cherished because she's got a great father."
"hmm..."
a smile crosses his features as he looks back down, looking at the squirming baby so makes a little noise before calming down when he strokes her little, chubby cheek again to keep her from crying again.
"and she's got a great mother. she'll be the most wonderful princess in all of history," he says with a toothy grin, chest rumbling with a laugh.
"aww, my love, that's so sweet..."
"seriously, though, how in hells did you squeeze this thing out of ya? thing's got the head of a watermelon."
"sukuna, give me back my baby, and chiyo? get this man some food to stuff in his mouth before he says something to warrent the rage of a new mother."
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all rights reserved Š lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work
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sttoru ¡ 7 months ago
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ahh i just cant stop thinking of sukuna's fav concubine getting injured from the other concubines but she hides it because shes scared of being weak (in sukuna's eyes) and/or a burden ☹️☹️
 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. fluff, sprinkle of angst n comfort. size difference. reader gets called ‘brat, woman, little one’ — ig this is a bit early in their relationship
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“i’ve arrived, my lord,” you announce your presence once you step into sukuna’s quarters. the dimly lit room removed all the stress you currently had in your system—the knowledge that you’re safe in his space causes your shoulders to drop.
sukuna turns his head to look at you while he’s laid back on his bed, topless. all four of his eyes roam over your body, which isn’t anything unusual for you. he always does that.
“tch. took ya long enough,” the king of curses scoffs before gesturing for you to come closer, making that familiar motion with his fingers, “when i order y’ to come, you’re supposed to drop everything and rush to be at my service, woman.”
you hurry over to his side of the bed with a nod. “my apologies,” you mutter. you can’t tell him why you’re late, because hell would break loose within these walls. and also because you’re scared of what his reaction would be.
before being called over, you were in the kitchen, peacefully trying to get a snack, when two other concubines entered the room. you tried ignoring them, but that didn’t seem to be the smartest move. it wasn’t long before they threw derogatory remarks at you.
of course, you stood up for yourself and yelled some back. that’s when one of them pushed you backwards, causing the skin near your hand to get slightly burned by the fire on the stove.
if it weren’t for the maids around that went to report the ruckus to uraume, god knows what more would have went down in that kitchen.
“oi,” sukuna grabs your jaw and lifts your head up. he can immediately notice the vacant look in your eyes, which is unusual for you. you snap out of your trance and set the nasty memories aside—ignoring the impulse to scratch the injury on your wrist.
“i’m sorry, my lord,” you say again before slowly undoing your obi. you figure that is why sukuna had called you over, to do your job as his concubine. you halt your movements when you realise that undressing meant that he’s going to see the wound on your skin.
you hesitate. that same instant of hesitation doesn’t go unnoticed by the king of curses. a large hand of his moves to stop both of your wrists from pulling off your robes.
“. . .i’m giving y’ three seconds of my time,” sukuna narrows his eyes after allowing you to speak up and tell him what’s on your mind. he hears you whimper in pain when he holds onto your wrist, your facial expression clearly uncomfortable. “spit it out,” he impatiently huffs. he wants to hear you say what’s wrong.
you desperately shake your head, biting your bottom lip. you don’t want to tell him—even though you know you’re obligated to.
denying an answer to sukuna was your next big mistake.
“fuckin’ brat,” the pink-haired man grunts. he yanks your arms up to his face, harshly pulling down the sleeves of your kimono. all four of his red eyes immediately fall onto the wound on your wrist. you obviously hadn’t treat it yet, even though you should have done so long ago.
there’s tension hanging in the air almost instantly after your little secret gets revealed. sukuna’s grip on your hands tightens which causes you to flinch. you close your eyes and expect the worst. you can already hear the insults he’ll throw at you—how he’ll call you useless, weak, stupid and all that.
“look up at me,” his voice rings out in a firm tone. you don’t want to anger him more than he already is, so you obey. you open your eyes and glance upwards, your worried gaze meeting his.
sukuna takes a deep breath to contain the bubbling rage inside of him; a rare sight indeed. he doesn’t want to unnecessarily lash out at you when it isn’t needed. however, he can’t deny that itching urge in his chest, to get mad at whoever caused your skin to get tainted like that.
sukuna stares at you with an intimidating glare. when you expect him to yell profanities at you, the unexpected happens.
“who did this to you?” he asks, voice strained like he’s trying to hold himself back.
you blink a few times. the king of curses sounds pissed off, and when he’s in that kind of mood, you know he’s not to be played with. you look the other way and try to think of a proper answer.
will you snitch and cause unnecessary bloodbath, or will you spare the lives of the concubines who hurt you and lie?
you’re scared of being seen as useless by sukuna if you tell him the truth. if you lie, he’ll probably call you weak and stupid as well. it’s a lose-lose situation, you conclude.
you swallow the spit that has gathered in your mouth before parting your lips.
“m-miko,” her name echoes in his ears. you decide to be honest, because you know that there’s no fooling the ryomen sukuna. a second of silence follows and when you look up at him, he stares back at you with furrowed brows.
“ah,” you then realise that he doesn’t know his concubines by name. he has way too many women at his disposal and doesn’t find them worthy enough to remember.
however you have heard from uraume and the others that he does know your name—only yours. it makes you feel special.
you try to describe the concubine you’ve tussled with, “s-short blonde hair, uhm, mole under her right eye.. brown colored eyes—“
sukuna thinks for a moment before clicking his tongue once he faintly remembers who that’s supposed to be. without a word, he stands up and wraps one muscular arm around your waist, sweeping you off your feet and carrying you under his armpit like some package.
“uraume!”
his voice is loud enough to make the walls shake and it carries a clear hint of pure rage. everyone in the estate should have heard him by now, which means that they know what is going down in a couple seconds.
sukuna sounding this angry only means one thing; someone is going to die today.
the servants hurriedly scurry around, deeply bowing as he walks past them in the hallway with you still tucked underneath his arms. you let yourself be carried while your heart beats uncontrollably fast in your chest.
you feel your hands shake a bit. seeing someone like sukuna be this mad for your sake—to the point that he’s ready to turn the entire area upside down—is somehow thrilling. though, you can’t help but feel sick because of your own thoughts.
someone is going to die and there you are, cheesing about the king of curses.
you see the white-haired chef appear from a corner, their steps hurried. they glance at you and then back at their master. it’s like they immediately connect the dots.
“treat her in my quarters. don’t let her leave until i come back,” sukuna commands without even looking at uraume. he’s staring ahead, with an ominous aura emitting from his body, one that somebody can sense from miles away.
he puts you down next to uraume before glancing your way one last time. he lets out a deep sigh as he sees the worried expression you’re making. he lowers his head to your level so you’d be face to face.
“and you,” his warm breath hits your cheeks and sends a shiver down your spine. you gulp as sukuna’s hand reaches up to firmly tug at your earlobe, “i’ll deal with your ass later, yeah? i’ll make you feel what it means to hide stuff from me, little one.”
that sentence makes you even more nervous. you know you won’t be able to avoid the punishment sukuna has in mind, so you simply nod. “understood,” you reply in a squeaky voice. you don’t have the guts to disobey him—he’s already out to kill someone and you don’t want to be the next victim.
sukuna straightens his back again and continues his journey towards the concubines’ quarters. every heavy step makes the floors and walls shake, a sign of his unstoppable rage that’s about to be unleashed.
you feel slightly puzzled. you didn’t expect this outcome when you revealed your injury to the ruthless man. you expected to be belittled and mocked for not being able to prevent a wound from being inflicted on your body.
instead, there he goes, off to get revenge in your stead. you feel a twisted sense of satisfaction after seeing sukuna be this protective over you. actions like these demonstrate more than his dull words can do, even if it may seem like he doesn’t care about what could happen to a human like you.
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burningcomputerpersona ¡ 9 months ago
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also how is it that spanish love songs has such good merch??? i don't think I've ever been to a show before where I had to struggle so hard to pick just one thing, like in a lot of cases there's only really one thing that appeals to me or I just get something bc i love the band and need to have them on me regardless of what the design looks like. but i was spending ages just staring at the merch stand trying to pick one out of alllll the things i wanted
#i got one shirt with 'stay alive out of spite' on the back and i love it#i thougt super long and hard about the brave faces everyone shirt because it is literally one of my favorite songs#but i decided not to go for it bc i have their baseball hat with the exact same words on it anyway#also they had this really awesome zip up hoodie that I was staring at for ages#but alas it was 60 bucks and i do not have that kind of money lol#at first i was looking through their merch like omg theres so much good stuff i need to get this shirt and that shirt and that hoodie and#then i saw the prices and remembered I'd probably have to narrow it down to just one shirt lol#I'm not actually really about it though i freaking love this shirt im actually wearing it right now lol#it's definitely gonna be one of my favorite shirts to wear#also i need to do a revamp of my wardrobe#all my tops are black band tees which is fine but most of them are from hot topic and of mostly big bands that i don't listen to super often#and like that was fine when i first got them#but it is not enough now i I need several shirts for the same bands that i am Obsessed with bc one shirt per band is not enough#i am a very normal person with very normal ideas about clothes and music and a very regular amount of interest in bands#anyway all this to say i might end up getting a bunch of sls merch anyway in the future#just so i can wear them while also listening to them which would be all the time#anyway i think this shirt is gonna be super good for my mental health bc every time i wear it im gonna be thinking of the lyrics on the back#also im definitely washing this (and my whole outfit) tomorrow morning so i can wear it again right away and show it off to everyone#if ur wondering about the washing part its bc i have a general routine when it comes to getting merch at shows#where i go to the merch stand right away so i can get a good size before its sold out#and i put it on over my t shirt so i don't have to worry about carrying it#and its also the outermost layer so the band gets to see me wearing it like hiii i love ur stuff so much i got it and wore it to see you#now this does have the unfortunate side effect of getting absolutely drenched in sweat after the show#one time i was wearing three shirts at once along with a hoodie tied to my waist bc i got a bunch of merch and it was sooo warm#i have no intentions of changing this routine though i like how efficient it is#oh also the shirt is green!! another thing that made me choose it over the others#i literally do not own any green shirts#so i am very happy that i have a very nice shirt that i like in a new color#mine#my shows
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readwritealldayallnight ¡ 3 months ago
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When Gaz walks into the bases common room, his goal for making his third cup of tea of the day is diverted when he catches sight of Soap’s expression across the room.
The Scot looks absolutely befuddled, eyes wide and sitting slack-jawed across from his Lieutenant. Gaz walks over to the men, catching the very end of Ghost telling his companion to ‘piss off’.
“Alright?” He asks the lads, raising a brow in question.
“Ye oughta hear the shite LT’s tryin’ to convince me of over here!” Soap is all too eager to inform his friend. Ghost grunts, leaning further back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest and rolling his eyes as far back as he can, as if to tell the Sergeant in front of him ‘this is why I don’t tell you anything’.
Because that’s almost exactly what Ghost is thinking at that moment. He’d just entered the common room when he’d spotted the back of an all too familiar head, fiddling and distracted with the microwave.
When he’d walked up behind the younger man and echoed his call sign out in greeting, his mask hid the smug smirk that appeared at the jump Soap gave, uttering a loud “Shit!” in surprise.
Soap went on to complain about how he was apparently attempting to jumpstart his heart, drawling on about how the Lieutenant was always sneaking up on people like this, moving quiet as a Ghost.
“My missus says the same thing.” The masked man had mentioned casually, as if his chest hadn’t automatically puffed out in pride, standing up a little straighter at the mention of his girl.
“She says you’re too quiet? Aye, LT, think a lot o’ couples have complaints of the sorts in bed ya see-”
“Shut it, you prick.” Ghost quickly shut him down, ending that line of thought. “She says I walk too quietly in the flat. Accidentally scaring her all the time, poor thing.”
At that, Soap’s eyebrows had shot sky high, keen to hear more about the big bad Ghost’s life of apparent domestic bliss, turning him into an absolute sap.
Ghost wouldn’t normally volunteer information about his personal life. But he just loves you so much. And now that he’s not only thinking about you because he is all the time, but also talking about you, his mouth didn’t seem to want to stop talking about you.
“She put her foot down with me recently.” He’d added with a deep chuckle.
“She did what?” Soap had asked bewildered.
“She called it ‘putting her foot down’. I walked up behind her when she was doin’ dishes. Poor bird didn’t hear me and dropped somethin’.”
“Oh, no! Simon! That’s my favourite mug!!” You’d cried out, watching your most treasured ceramic shattering on the tile floor of the kitchen, spreading every which way across the room.
“M’sorry lovie. Didn’t mean to scare ya.” He’d sheepishly responded, reaching to turn off the running faucet. He’d grabbed the dish towel and gave it to you to dry your hands, lifted you by the waist and set you on the counter with ease, not wanting you to get hurt with your bare feet. He’d turned, already in search of a broom and dust pan.
“Again. You mean I’m sorry for scaring you again.” You had corrected him, narrowing your eyes. “I can’t take it anymore Simon. You don’t need to be stealthy at home, my love, you can make noise when you walk. In fact I need you to make noise when you walk at home!”
Simon had nodded along, diligently sweeping up every piece of your ruined mug.
“I’ll try harder sweetheart. I promise.” He’d offered, dumping the remnants into the bin before he’d walked up to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist as yours slid around his shoulders.
The very next weekend he’d taken you to a local pottery painting class to make up for the lost mug, as well as you telling him off (because yeah, that was what Simon considered you putting your foot down with him, and he never wanted it to happen again if he could help it).
Ghost finds himself grinning further under his mask at the memory however, of how cute you looked as you tried to raise your voice at him, laying down the law in your shared home.
“And so what’d ya tell her?” Soap asked, curious to know how his Lieutenant had reacted, but more so if the man would even reply or rather would tell him to fuck off.
“I didn’t tell her anythin’.” Simon had uttered. “Did as my missus asked me to do, and that was the end of the story. Well, s’pose I did I tell her I’d look into mug making classes or whatever.”
“…”
“You what?!”
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gurugirl ¡ 1 month ago
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DILF | older!harry
MAIN MASTERLIST
Summary: Y/n meets an older man at a bar and she's not taking no for an answer. Harry likes her persistence.
A/N: This was requested + this! Also, please think before you judge Y/n. She is very bold and confident in this. Maybe even a little pushy but Harry likes it (even if at first he doesn't give that impression). Also he's single so this isn't cheatrry!
Word Count: 6,580
Warning: age gap, smut, alcohol consumption (light)
. .
"That one. Total dilf. He looks grumpy. Bet you can't crack him."
Y/n laughed at her friend and looked down at her red-painted nails before narrowing her gaze on the attractive older man who was seated at the corner of the bar alone. He was nursing a whisky and he did look rather sullen. Unapproachable even.
"Why him?"
"Because he's hot. And I'm curious to see if you can get him to smile at least," Warren raised her brows, "I dare you."
Y/n tilted her head and assessed him. He was nice and big, taking up a decent amount of space at the bar, broad shoulders and back hunched as he leaned his muscular forearms on the wood of the bar top. Meaty hands placed on either side of his lowball glass. Thick brown waves on top of his head with a bit of silver coming in at the temples. But the handsome features on his face really set him apart. His granite jawline gave way to stubble that stretched over his skin and shaded in the spaces around his pink lips.
If she could "crack" him she wasn't sure she'd want just a smile. He looked yummy enough to eat.
Drinking down the last of her martini she pointed at Warren and then Tara, "Fine. Give me twenty minutes and I'll have him eating from the palm of my hand."
Tara laughed, "If you say so…"
She placed her heeled feet down on the floor and brushed her hands over her dress, "Oh, I do say so. Just watch and learn, ladies."
Y/n wasn't quite that confident, but she wasn't about to say no to dare. And she could hold her own when it came to flirting. She liked getting a little attention and if she could garner this one's interest it might be fun.
She sauntered up to the bar behind the man and noticed the way his t-shirt stretched over his lats and tapered loosely down at his waist. The guy was fit. And lucky her, there was an open stool next to him.
Sliding onto the seat she waved at the bartender to order another drink. She'd need all the courage she could get, in whatever form she could get it.
Tapping her long nails on the lacquered wood she felt nerves thrumming through veins before turning toward the man finally. He hadn't seemed to take note of her yet, which honestly was unusual in most cases. Maybe she thought too highly of herself but men tended to notice her right away. She appreciated the challenge, though.
Reaching her hand into his space to greet him, she pushed down her nerves to sound steady as she spoke, "I'm Y/n."
She watched his brow furrow as he turned to look at her hand and then up at her eyes, his expression, which she expected would soften once he looked at her, was unamused. A single light overhead lit the tops of their heads as a shadow cast over the side of his face and he didn't make a move to shake her hand, "And I'm old enough to be your dad."
A surprised scoff fell from her lips as she moved her hand away from him. She wiggled in her seat and crossed her leg over her thigh toward him, gulping down the initial rejection with as much grace as she could muster, "I think you're jumping to conclusions about my intentions. But so what if you're older than me? I don't mind. We're both adults, right?"
An unimpressed grunt rumbled from his throat before he took another sip of his whisky and he looked away from her toward the TV that hung not far away from where they sat.
The bartender placed her olive martini down on the bar in front of her, "It'll be on Y/n Y/l/n. I already have an open tab."
A sip of the salty drink felt warm down her throat. So he was going to be a bit tough to crack. She turned to look at her friends who were grinning in her direction.
Straightening her back to feel more confident she tried again, "So you're not gonna tell me your name even?"
Without looking at her, he licked his lips and ticked his jaw, "Y/n, I think it's past your bedtime."
She smiled at that. He'd said her name, which meant he'd been listening, "My bedtime is whenever I say it is, not when some grouchy stranger says."
He puffed out an amused laugh through his nose, "I am a stranger. Which means you should be cautious, little girl. Your dad didn't teach you about things like that?" He turned to look down at her again, and that time she saw the soft green color of his eyes as the light hit his face just right.
But now she was really determined. She smiled brightly at him and let her eyes coast over his tattooed arm and then back up to his face, "Are you telling me you're dangerous?"
He still didn't smile as he shook his head like he was surprised by her gall, "Do your parents know what you're up to tonight?"
"I'm 24. Graduated from college, live on my own, pay my bills, have a full-time job. You seem to be awfully worried about my parents. I can take care of myself just fine."
Just then another person sat down next to the man Y/n was trying to whittle away at. He poked his elbow at him, "Who's this?"
"Don't know. Someone who's about to go back to her table with her little girlfriends."
Biting her lip she traced the rim of her martini glass with her fingertip, keeping her eyes set on the handsome tattooed one, "Not even a smile. Just one? Please?"
"Like I already said, I'm way too old for you."
The other man leaned over and reached to tap Y/n's shoulder, "Hey. Forget about Harry, here. You can bring me home with you if you're looking for a daddy tonight."
She frowned and looked him up and down to asses. He was late 40s perhaps, wearing a local band t-shirt, ripped jeans, and a backward cap to make himself appear a little more youthful. "No thanks. You'd know if I was interested in you."
Harry bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling at her retort. She was definitely too young but he liked her spunk.
"Now, Harry…" she said his name slowly as she leaned a little closer, "I've got your name thanks to your friend. Can I have a smile?"
"Why?" He stared down at her, the caress of his gaze felt infinite and she found her skin convecting in its wake. He might be hard to crack but this one would be worth it, she determined.
She sighed and slid her finger dangerously close to his wrist as he looked down at her nail and watched her trail it near his arm, "I just hoped to see you smile is all. Too handsome to have such a sour scowl on your face."
"And you're hardly old enough to be so confident to walk up to a strange man at a bar."
She laughed and tilted her head, "You planning on doing something bad to me, Harry?"
And that. That pulled a reaction out of him that spread over his features slowly as he shook his head in disbelief, "Darlin', you wouldn't be able to handle me."
Her eyes widened slightly. Now she was definitely not giving up. Y/n wasn't one to fail and Harry might be making her work hard for it but she couldn't imagine it wouldn't be worth it in the end.
"Is that a challenge or something?" She softly scraped her nail over his tattooed wrist and Harry watched her red nail work over his skin.
His resolve was fading fast. She could tell he wasn't going to keep denying her. And why should he? If he was single, which he appeared to be, what was the harm in having a little fun with someone younger? Y/n didn't mind. And he certainly shouldn't either.
"If it were a challenge you'd know it. Lots of other guys here, Y/n. Go enjoy your night with someone closer to your own age."
She sighed in annoyance. But he hadn't moved his arm away from her and she was going to take that as a sign.
Dragging the toe of her shoe into his shin she grinned, "I don't want to enjoy my night with someone my own age. Not tonight anyway. I think you've convinced me that I need to test out this theory of yours. That you think I can't handle you. Cause I bet I can."
With his eyes piercing into hers, he took another sip of his drink. She thought she might have just convinced him to give her a smile at the very least because it looked like he was weighing his options. And if she could get him to smile she might have luck with the rest.
He tilted his chin upward for a moment, eyes aimed at the ceiling like he was calling on a higher power for strength, "Go back to your friends, Y/n. Any other man here would love to have your company."
"But you wouldn't love to have my company?"
"I mean… I'm still here," the other man raised his hand and leaned into Harry, "Honey we could have so much fun. Any man who'd turn you down is either battin' for the other team or more likely," he chuckled and pushed his shoulder into Harry's teasingly, "He can't get it up anymore."
Y/n's mouth dropped open at that and Harry turned to look at the man. She wished she could see the look on his face, "Sit the fuck back down, John. She already told you she's not interested in you."
"Yeah, and you're not interested in her so what's it matter to you? Look at her, Harry. Practically begging you. Young and bubbly… Tight—"
Harry's hand covered John's throat as he pushed him away, nearly making his stool topple over, "Get the fuck outta here. You had too much whisky tonight."
"Aww… come on Harry… I was just jokin'!"
She watched as he stood from his stool and looked down at John, "And you thought that was funny? You like making jokes about women like that?"
The man put his hands up in surrender, "I'm out. Here…" he threw a wad of cash on the bar top before he moved past Harry and then looked at Y/n, "My apologies if I offended you."
They watched as John left the bar quickly and then Harry sat back down before he waved at the bartender and signaled for the check, "Just the one whisky neat."
"You're leaving already? Night's still young, Harry."
He sucked at his teeth as he scraped his gaze over her face and down to her cleavage. She smiled when she watched the path his eyes had taken.
The bartender handed him the bill and Harry leaned over to pull his wallet from his back pocket.
She scooted closer to him, "You headed home?"
He nodded, but not necessarily in answer to her question, it was more of an appraisal kind of nod. He was still silent as he pulled cash out of his wallet.
"Thanks for that, by the way. I'm sure John's a nice guy and all but he's not really my type. And I'm sure he was wrong about you."
That got his attention. Harry flicked his gaze back to hers, "Wrong about me?"
She smiled, "The part where he said you couldn't get it up. You're not that old. I'm sure you still can. Right?"
He clenched his jaw and breathed out of his nostrils like he couldn't believe she'd asked him such a thing. He handed the bartender his cash with a nod before he stood up from his stool.
"Huh. Since you're so quiet about it maybe he was right," she goaded, pressing her lips together to flatten her smile as she looked up at him through her lashes.
Harry placed a palm down on the bar top next to her hand and leaned over her, "You're out of your depth here, Y/n."
"Now, you don't really know that do you? Just because I'm younger than you doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing."
"You're awfully pushy. Not used to hearing no, are you?"
Y/n watched as the edge of his mouth lifted in amusement and she widened her eyes and pointed, "You're almost smiling."
He shook his head and looked around the bar before pinning his gaze back to hers, "I hope you enjoy the rest of your night. But your luck has run out with me, princess."
Harry stood to his full height and Y/n decided to try one last time, "So it's true then. What he said."
He stopped and turned to look back at her, a slow burning heat behind his gaze, "Couldn't be further from the truth."
She smiled and slid off her stool to stand in front of him. His height was impressive, "Prove it."
The line of his jaw hardened, turning his cheekbones into slashes of tension. His eyes simmered as he weighed his options. Finally, a hint of a smile stretched over his mouth. A small one, but still.
"I don't need to prove anything to silly little girls."
"Good thing I'm not a silly little girl. I'm a grown woman, Harry."
Y/n knew she was pushing it. She'd never needed to throw herself at any man before. But because of that, she wasn't used to rejection either. Maybe it was a good lesson for her ego. She knew her big fault was how entitled she could act sometimes. But that was partly thanks to how she was raised. It's better to act like a man to get what you want in life, her dad told her. And so far, that had been true. Some women balked at her confidence and her bold attitude. She wasn't demure or sweet enough. And men would often refer to her as a bitch or say that she was trying too hard.
She'd work on her ego another time. But right now? She was focused on winning this battle.
"What do you want with someone like me anyway? Hm? I'm old, Y/n. What's in it for you?"
Blinking her eyes she shook her head, "You're not old, first of all. Secondly, you're really attractive. It doesn't need to go much deeper than that, does it? I just think you're handsome. And I do kind of like a challenge."
"I can see that you like a challenge. It's the only reason I haven't walked out that door yet. Kind of relentless."
She smiled, "So it's working?"
Another half-smile worked its way up his mouth as he laughed in disbelief, "Are you surprised that it is?"
His pupils coasted over her figure and then back up to her face. The warmth of his gaze singed her skin like an open flame.
"I guess I just didn't know how difficult it'd be with you."
He licked his lips, "Difficult. You have no idea. But looks like you're about to find out. Go tell your friends what's going on. Meet me out front."
Y/n watched him turn and walk away. She was shocked. For a minute she thought he wasn't going to go for it at all.
Shaking off the sudden surprise of having gotten to him she settled up with the bartender and then stopped at the table with her friends. They were just about to give her condolences for having oversold her ability but she interrupted. "He's waiting for me outside. Location is on. Don't wait up!"
Harry was leaning against a black car in the parking lot when she stepped out of the doors. The moment he saw her he pushed himself off the car and opened the passenger door for her.
It was going to be tricky to maintain the kind of confidence she'd been feigning with him up until then but there was no part of her that didn't want to find out what he could show her.
She watched as Harry sat down in the driver's seat and started up his car. He took up too much space in the seat. His big hand wrapped around the leather steering wheel while his other encased the shift stick. Even the way he drove was turning her on.
She was pleased that she'd wormed her way under his skin and that he'd given in. She'd try her best to make it worth his while. Reaching across the console she put her hand on his thigh and he glanced down quickly before setting his gaze back on the road.
Now, Harry had slept with younger women a couple of times. He generally preferred someone closer to his age because he liked the confidence and experience that came with age. Women in their 20s were often in a different stage of life and that was fine –normal even, but it just usually wasn't a match for him. Not sexually and not mentally.
But Y/n was unusually confident for being so young. Persistent. He liked it, he couldn't lie. Whether or not she really had much else going for her beyond confidence, he guessed he'd find out. Well, she was very cute too. She did have that in her favor.
And Y/n at least seemed like she knew what she wanted. It was flattering as well. Being approached by such a pretty young thing. He figured the moment he told her to go back to her friends she'd give up but she was just fiery enough that she wasn't deterred.
When she ran her nail over his wrist he knew he was screwed. She was just close enough that he could smell her perfume and then she nudged her shoe into his shin and all he could think about was that she really wanted to be shown a good time and if anyone could it was him.
Harry knew his way around a woman's body. They were all different and he liked finding all the buttons and things that made them purr. In his experience, though, the younger the woman, the less she knew her own body. He didn't know if Y/n was just talking a big game but he was about to find out.
He stayed quiet as she ran her hand down his thigh and he shifted as the car accelerated past the green light. He'd see if she'd do anything with her hand but maybe she'd just pet at him like a novelty toy. He didn't expect—
"This is okay?" She asked him, her tone sultry as she palmed at his crotch.
He licked his lips, "Have at it."
His cock fattened up nicely with not much effort on her part. Proof that he definitely could get it up. Plucking at his button she looked from his face to her fingers as she leaned further over the console to reach her hand into his open pants to help him with the awkward angle of his dick. He seemed to appreciate that as he shifted under her palm.
Rubbing over his heather grey briefs she peeled down the elastic band the slightest to get a peek. The dark shade of pink on his tip matched the muted raspberry of his lips. She slid the pad of her middle finger over the slit and he softly inhaled through his teeth.
She wouldn't be able to give him roadhead like she wanted. It was impossible with the stick shift in the way. But she could wrap her fingers around his shaft and feel him under her palm until they got wherever they were going.
"Mmm… It's so big, Harry. Knew you would be. Might be the biggest I've seen in person. Can't tell yet, though. Have to wait to see when we've got these off."
Harry pushed a laughed breath through his nose. She was a bold thing. Her assertiveness was a turn-on. He didn't like meek and shy. Not when it came to sex.
When she spit into her palm and smeared it down his length, the best she could, he parted his lips and stepped on the gas. She was already exceeding any expectations he had for her. Maybe she'd prove him wrong.
Her nail scraped the underside of him and she moaned, "Really want it in my mouth."
He gulped harshly and ticked his jaw, "Just be patient. I'll let you put it in your mouth soon enough."
"And where are we going? Your place?"
He nodded, "Just a few minutes away."
She squeezed around him and pulled upward slowly. She knew already, he was well above average and she was going to have to work to give him a proper blowy.
His house was a one story, the driveway at the front with a garage attached. He lifted his hand and pushed on a device that was clinging to his sun visor and the garage door began to open. There was a covered motorcycle along the back wall and then the garage door closed after he shut off the engine.
She moved her hand away and unbuckled herself as he got out. When she reached down to pick up her little purse she realized her panties were already wet. She grinned as she stepped out, adjusting her dress before closing the door, and then followed behind him as he led her into a dark hallway.
When he turned on the lights she took it all in. Hardwood floors led into a dining area and then a kitchen. Hung on the walls were photos of himself with two children and then more framed photos with just the kids.
"Do you have kids?"
"I do. Boy and a girl. 7 and 10."
"You're not married are you?"
He laughed, "If I were you'd have known. Wouldn't have been out in the first place if I had a wife waiting for me at home."
She nodded as he turned on the kitchen light and pulled out two glasses before filling them with water.
"Divorced?"
Handing her a glass he squinted, "Yes."
She took a sip. He was a man of few words she'd gathered. She looked around the kitchen. Wood cabinets, an outdated laminate countertop, stainless steel appliances. The space could use some updating but it was large and he had a big pantry.
Sitting the glass down on the counter she watched him closely. His pants were still unbuttoned. She eyed the space at his crotch as he placed his own glass down next to hers.
"It's not gonna suck itself."
She laughed and looked up at him. He had a genuine smile on his face that time. The first real smile she'd seen from him all night. A healthy row of clean teeth, a dimple…
"Hmm… I think you're right. Let's see what we've got…"
She moved in front of him and placed her hands on his pants to push them away but before she could inch them down he wrapped his meaty hand around the back of her neck and drew her into his chest. His mouth was warm and soft. His tongue tasted like the whisky he'd been drinking.
Letting go of his pants she held onto his biceps as he used his free hand to push her hips against his. Still nice and hard. He ran his tongue over her lips and she moaned into his mouth. He worked his warm lips down to her jaw and then he licked upward on her neck, the wet patch was cool on her skin from the air in the kitchen. He did it again and her knees almost gave out. She hadn't been licked like that before.
He kissed over her clavicle and then drew his tongue over her flesh. Her heart was thrumming quickly and she squeezed his strong arms when he rutted against her.
"You good at sucking cock, Y/n?" He pushed his nose against her jawline and the hot breath from his words scattered over the skin on her neck.
"I want to be," she spoke breathlessly, eyes fluttering closed as he mawed at her throat.
He parted from her neck and looked down at her, half-lidded gaze and spit-slicked lips, "Go on."
Instantly she dropped to her knees as her fingers worked deftly at pulling his pants down and then his underwear. She'd sucked a handful of dicks so she knew a couple of moves.
Getting her hand around his thick shaft proved to be a small challenge. To say he was thick… understatement. Long too. His tip was smooth, mushroomed with ridges along the length that she hoped she'd get to feel later on. His was the kind of cock that women dreamed of.
Looking up at him she licked her palm and used her spit to pump him slowly. Another glob over his tip for good measure. Then she pressed a kiss to the base of him, just over his sac, and screwed her eyes upward to watch his expression as she licked his balls, one side at a time. She wound her tongue all around to wet him before sucking at one side, pulling it into her mouth and he let out a ragged breath, his dark pupils spreading inky until the soft green had almost vanished.
He liked it.
She worked around the other side, sucking him in again and swirling her tongue softly underneath the tender bits. He gripped the counter behind himself.
Pulling off she straightened her back and licked upward, feeling every delicious thick ridge along his shaft until her tongue met his smooth crown. Laving every crevice of his tip, she dipped her tongue into his slit and then ran it under the frenulum before she wetted every inch of his glans.
Her mouth was watering when she parted her lips around him and flitted her gaze upward. He was watching her with a slack jaw as she took him a little deeper. He cradled the back of her head and moaned.
"Just suck the tip…."
She blinked up at him and pulled her lips just over the lip, swirling and suckling around him like he wanted.
"Fuck. Just like that." His hand at the back of her head was easy. He didn't push or pull. It was more like a pleased gesture as his fingertips flexed around her skull gently.
Y/n would have liked to have gone deeper. Wanted to show him her best work. But he seemed rather happy with what she was doing.
She bobbed a couple of times, only to slide her lips back to his tip. Her pace was slow when she began to stroke his length with a little twisting motion.
He was big. She knew she could take more but in a way, she was grateful that that was all he was asking for.
A groan fell from his chest and he bucked forward, his cock slipping down her tongue and she sucked, drawing more of him in as she moved her hands away.
"Goddamnit, you're good."
She took that as permission to go deeper. Relaxing her jaw she closed her eyes and held her breath, pushing down to her limit. She filled her throat with his cock the best she could and gurgled around his tip.
He coughed out a moan and then thumbed at her cheek, "Alright, that's good."
She pulled off of him. His heavy cock aimed right at her face when she sat back on her knees and looked up at him, "I can do better than that."
He laughed and put his hand out for her to take, helping her stand up, "I bet you can. Come on."
Harry kept her hand in his as he led her to his bedroom. It was just past the dark living space and he turned on a floor lamp on the opposite side of the room from the bed. When he turned back toward her he cupped her face and kissed her again.
She pressed her hand into his warm, hard chest and he reached around the back of her dress to pull the zipper downward, his fingers dragging down her skin as he went. His touch sent a tremor down her spine as continued kissing her wetly.
He stepped back, helping her out of her dress until it fell to the floor. His eyes raked over her body and he smoothed his hands over her hips and up to her bra-covered breasts. He stepped in closer, walking her backward toward his bed. He put his hands back on her hips and nudged her to sit before he reached down to lift her leg up by her calf, removing her heels, one at a time.
Y/n's thong was drenched. She stared at him while he placed her shoes side by side at the foot of the bed and then he placed his big palms on her thighs, pushing her legs open, "Lie back."
She let her back hit the mattress as Harry got to his knees on the floor. An arm reached under her thigh as he spread her apart and then she felt her panties being pulled at until her her wet pusslips were right in his face. He groaned and felt a hand slide up the inside of her thigh. He pressed his mouth over her mons and looked up at her before he opened his mouth wide and drew his tongue through her crease making her gasp.
"Get your bra off."
She pushed herself up slightly and worked at the clasp of her bra between moans as Harry continued licking at her pussy. When she pulled her arm through the flimsy material he lifted his head and reached around her back, pulling her closer to the edge of the bed and he sucked a nipple into his mouth.
"Oh, fuck!"
Y/n's finger and her long nails pushed into Harry's hair and scraped at his scalp as he licked and pulled at each nipple. He buried his face between her tits and let out a low sound, like he was murmuring something to her but only her breasts were allowed to hear it.
When he sunk back down he pushed at her so she'd lie back and he started in on her clit, one hand holding her panties to the side as he devoured her glistening cunt.
She kept feeling like she was going to slide off the edge of the bed but Harry's grip on her kept her still. His tongue and his lips were magic as he drew her to her end. She yanked at his hair and babbled his name on repeat as her spine bowed off the bed when she came.
Her chest was still rising and falling heavy when she felt her body being pushed upward. She popped her eyes open and watched him roll a condom over his shaft before he kneed back up onto the bed next to her. He was stark naked. His body was insane. Thick muscle and masculine everything. Tattoos scatter over his arms and chest.
Fuck, she muttered under her breath.
"Flip over, for me," his deep voice was husky as he motioned toward her to move.
She rolled to her stomach and she felt his fingers slide between the band of her panties and her hips as he pulled them down her legs.
"Ass up a little. I want to see all of you, Y/n."
She grinned and turned to look at him over her shoulder as she lifted her hips and spread her thighs. His lips were parted as he grabbed her ass and squeezed, making her cheeks spread apart. He inhaled sharply through his teeth and then dipped in, kissing her pussy from behind before licking upward over her ass.
She squealed quietly and bit her lip, still watching him behind her as he lifted, a lopsided grin on his face. He gazed at her as he fisted the base of his cock and slid the head up and down her soaked folds before he tipped his hips to push in just the tip.
"Gorgeous. Gonna look even better wrapped around cock. You like anal?"
"Never tried it."
He licked his lips and pressed his lips together as he looked at the spot where his dick was pressed against her cunt, "Figured. S'alright. Pussy's my favorite anyway."
"We could try… if you want."
He looked back into her eyes, a cocky smile on his face, "Your little hole would need to be trained. And that takes time. So, there will be no anal tonight. Not gonna try and hurt you. But that's a cute thought."
He canted his hips inward, eyes on hers and her mouth dropped open when she felt her entrance splitting open for him. She was tight, but so slick, it only took a few slow thrusts until he was buried in with a low grunt. He pulled back and then pushed his entire length into the hilt.
"Fuck—fuck!" She cried and stuffed her face into the blankets.
"Too much?"
"No! It's so good. You're just so big…" She began to send her hips back against him and Harry slowly fucked in to match her pace. His eyes were everywhere. On her puss getting split open on his cock, the curve of her lower back, the swell of her ass.
He just knew she'd look so sweet with her ass stuffed too, but good things like that couldn't be rushed which was a shame.
Every thrust was gushy wet. Y/n bubbled out small moans every time his dick brushed deep into her guts. It was better than she imagined. The way he filled her to the brim was going to turn into an addiction. She'd never slept with any man that had her wanting seconds before they'd even finished.
"Oh my god…" she mewled into the comforter.
"Fuck, I know, baby…"
She fit him like a glove, it was perfect. He went in a little faster, balls thudding against her skin rhythmically making her bounce forward as she spread around his girth. When he ground in she arched her back deeply and let out a soft groan, her hands fisted at the blanket and Harry reached around and smeared his fingertips over her clit.
It had her panting and pushing into him feverishly. She'd needed the friction on her throbbing button and he'd found it easily, thick, rough fingerprints slicking back and forth as he rutted in and in. It sent electrical sparks over her limbs.
"Like that? Needs her clit touched? Shit baby, act like you've never been touched by a man right here before…" he plucked at her like he was playing the guitar and she began to fade, her moans getting caught in her chest.
He could feel her walls tightening around him as he drove in deep.
"Fuck, Harry— fuck!"
He grinned as he watched her shudder, "Give it up, Y/n. There you go…"
She began to pulse around him, a constant stream of nonsense falling from her lips as he stroked against her channel and pushed deep into her tummy, his fingers still working her clit with ease.
Just as her body had tipped and oxygen returned to her lungs he pulled out and she felt him taking her hips and turning her around to her back. Harry grabbed her ankles and lifted until each was settled over his shoulders and pushed back inside of her, cock drilling down to her core making her teeth chatter at the way he split her down the middle.
Harry leaned over her, cock buried deep as she watched her pretty face twist up with pleasure. Plapping into her, her tits wobbled as his balls tightened against his body. The harder he plunged in, the more her legs shook. Soon, her ankles had slipped down and her feet hit the mattress as he continued drilling into her. His face was flushed hot, lips parted, muscles tensed.
Reaching up to his neck she smoothed her fingers over his warm skin and he lowered his chest down to hers and kissed her. That filthy tongue ran over her lips and he sloppily sipped at her between sucking at her lips. Her brain had turned to jelly.
She felt his hand on her outer thigh squeezing and brushing as he fucked down into her. "Mmm… fuck, Y/n, m'gonna come…"
He trembled over her, thick thighs pressed down and flexed as he rutted in and in and in, and then… he stilled. A deep, guttural moan vibrated through his chest down into hers.
She sighed when she felt him throbbing, pumping into his condom. Her fingers caressed the muscles over his back and she gasped when he bucked in harshly, once more as he emptied the last of his come into the rubber wrapped around his cock.
He slowed his kisses until they were lazy little pecks and then he looked down at her, his chest heaving. She was already grinning up at him.
"What?"
She blinked her eyes, "That was fun."
He puffed out a breath, "I guess that's a good way to describe it."
Harry was a gentleman as he pulled out slowly and helped her off the bed and led her to his bathroom. He helped her clean up and listened to her tell him about her job —just reminding him that she was an adult after he commented on her being so young again.
When she picked her dress up off the floor and started to step into it, Harry frowned, "What are you doing?"
She stopped and raised her brows. "Getting dressed. Was gonna call an Uber. I'm sure you don't want a stranger in your house all night," she laughed.
Harry pulled at her hand, making her drop her dress, "What kind of men have you been hanging out with that let you leave in an Uber at 2 am? You'll stay here."
She opened her mouth and then closed it in surprise before tilting her head in confusion, "Really? I just assumed—"
"You'll stay the night here. There's no way in hell you're getting an Uber at this time of night. It's dangerous."
She grinned and shrugged, "Well then… can I have a shirt or something to sleep in?"
He placed his warm hands on her hips, "You can have a t-shirt if you like. I prefer to sleep naked myself."
"Oh yeah? I usually do too as a matter of fact."
He held her out in his arms and eyed her naked frame, "Looks like we're both good to go then. We'll get you sorted in the morning. I'll give you a ride home then."
"I think you just want to keep me here with you," she chuckled.
Harry shook his head and released her hips before he popped her on the bottom with his palm. She bleated out a laugh.
"Get your ass in bed before I change my mind."
"Yes, sir."
. .
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corkinavoid ¡ 7 months ago
Text
DPxDC Constantine Is Having Fae Problems
Not as in 'problems with the fae', but as in 'the Batfam don't understand shit about fae and it is somehow Constantine's problem'
"Thank you."
Whatever thoughts Constantine had before come to a screeching halt. He slowly turns around, praying he's misheard, but, unfortunately, no. He heard that right.
The black-haired kid - he looks like a kid, but, really, he is not, and he is not even human to begin with - is smiling at Nightwing, who just laughs and ruffles the boy's hair.
"Don't worry about it, it's nothing," the moronic eldest batkid says, like it's not a big deal, and Constantine just... can't. He is not dealing with this right now. He needs a drink.
And then it happens again. Not with the Nightwing, though. This time, it's Black Bat. Now, in all honesty, Constantine is not so sure about her being human either, what with her appearing out of goddamn aether and being silent as a ghost, but the point still stands. The new addition to Bat's menagerie of children, the fae boy, the changeling who insists he is Robin's brother, thanks her.
It's quick and easy, just like a human would say it, and Black Bat just nods back at him, but Constantine knows what it means. He knows the weight of fae gratitude.
The big question is, do the Bats know it?
He promises himself to address this issue later with the Big Bat himself. But every time he encounters the man, he just forgets to bring it up. Constantine strongly suspects it's not his bad memory at fault here, but a certain fae. Not that he is going to outright go and blame the damned creature, of course, Constantine values his life, mind, and consciousness. Also, he is very aware of the consequences of talking to the fae, unlike the furry brigade.
Alas, he can't forget something if he witnesses with his own eyes. So the next time he is in the Batcave, he makes it a point to wait until the same thing eventually happens. And, score for Constantine, it does.
"Thank you," the kid - again, not a kid, not a human, but whatever - tells Red Robin, and Constantine immediately snaps his head to him, pointing a finger at the smiling fae.
"I mean no disrespect, but what are you doing?"
The kid - Danny, as he insists to be called, although Constantine knows better than to call a fae by any name - tilts his head to the side. He looks confused, but there's a sly glint to his blue eyes. Oh, the fucker knows exactly what he means. He just doesn't want to admit to it.
"What do you mean?" It's not him, but Red Robin asking, and Constantine turns to look him in the eyes. Mask. Whatever.
"He is thanking-" a terrible thought crosses Constantine's mind, and he stares at Red Robin with horror, "Oh, don't tell me you were all thanking him and apologizing to him like he is a human being."
"I don't see how this is your business," Red Robin scolds, and his eyes narrow. Constantine can't see his actual eyes through the mask, but he knows the Bats well enough to know the kid looks as deadpan as he can.
"You can't do that!" He reaches down to the pocket where he keeps his cigarettes, but stops halfway. Right, no smoking in the Batcave. Wait, he never obeyed that rule! Constantine turns to glare at the fae boy. Danny appears as innocent as a newborn baby. Little bastard.
"Quit making a scene," comes another voice, and this one John recognizes, turning to look at little Robin. Now that he thinks about it, the demonic child claimed the fae as his brother, and he definitely should know how to talk to fae!
"Why didn't you tell them about the rules?!" He asks Robin, and the kid doesn't even bat an eye at him.
"You will not accuse me of incompetence in front of my brother," Robin huffs, not stepping closer and keeping one hand on his hip, "I did."
"You-"
"Okay, how about you calm down?" Danny interjects, and John is positive this is the first time he's heard the boy say anything other than 'thank you'. He turns to the fae, facing him, and, oh, Jesus, those are not human eyes. Or teeth. Or face. Holy fuck how do Bats live with this, it's like uncanny valley but hundreds times worse.
"If I tell you I use it for easier access, will you leave it be?" The fae tilts his head again, and this time it is not in confusion, but in the eerie manner of how all very much not human beings do it. Constantine swallows, but doesn't back down.
"Access to what, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Transportation," Danny provides. This does not explain shit and he knows it. Red Robin groans and rolls his eyes.
"We use it to summon Danny if we need him. It's faster than calling or texting."
Constantine freezes.
These fucking kids. Are using the fae debts. To summon him. Because they don't like texting.
Do they know that they can literally ask a fae to destroy a small country to fulfill a debt like that? It's not just a small favor, it's a gratitude. Fae take their gratitude very seriously. They value it. A lot.
Actually, you know what, no. John is not going to be explaining that part to them because God knows the batkids are all batshit crazy and this is an opportunity he is not willing to give them.
So he just nods stiffly, turns around, and heads to the zeta tube.
"Thank you for caring about my family," he hears a voice behind him, full of mischief and joy. Constantine feels the weight of the newly acquired debt, or better call it a favor, bind itself to his soul, and, great, he now has the power to part the sea like Moses, but only once.
He needs a drink. No, correction, he needs a whole bar to himself.
Wait, that's an idea.
"Get me a bottle of good bourbon, and we're even," he throws around his shoulder, stepping into a zeta tube.
When he steps out of it, there's an unlabeled bottle in his hand. John sighs and opens it, foregoing the glass or cup and drinking straight from the neck.
...It's good bourbon.
Inspired by @blackfoxsposts
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prael ¡ 3 months ago
Text
The Hardest Question Ever ASSked
Le Sserafim Chaewon, Kazuha and Yunjin x male reader smut
Masterlist word count: 5,851 Kofi(donations/commissions)
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"So, which one of these two do you think has the best ass?"
Yunjin has this penchant for asking the most inappropriate questions at the most random of times. The conversation was in a whole different place; Chaewon was explaining why the second Harry Potter film is by far the best one when suddenly...
"Oh my god," Kazuha immediately covers her eyes, sinking her head into her hands.
"What?" Yunjin blinks with innocence.
Chaewon can only groan in response. She sometimes wonders what goes on inside the minds of her group members, especially after that time Yunjin casually asked to compare their favourite toys (and now she is struggling to get the mental image of Yunjin slipping in a butt plug each morning out of her head. Apparently she has a whole range of sizes) but still, it feels like their constant effort to test how far they can go with each other has no end in sight.
"We all have pretty nice butts," Chaewon adds, the need to fill the awkward silence quickly becoming dire.
"Boring answer," Yunjin turns up her nose and pouts. Then her eyes fall on you. "Come on, you spend more than enough time staring, which is it?" she teases.
And look, you have thoughts, of course you do, but you're too coy to spill them out into the open for these three to scrutinize. So you joke, "We all know it's me." Only Kazuha laughs—that girl laughs at your every word.
Yunjin narrows her eyes, her attention like a hungry lion's before its prey. She asks in a challenging tone, "Why are you avoiding the question?"
You have learned very quickly that a game you can never win is against Yunjin, that woman is relentless with her prodding, so you change strategies. "What does it matter who has the nicest ass? Asses are so subjective."
"Stop being so political."
Chaewon senses blood in the water and joins in on pushing you for an answer, "Okay, so, subjectively, which one do you like the most?"
You slump back into your chair as the three girls sit forward expectantly. Yunjin is directly across from you, wrapping her lips around the straw for her coffee as she stares through you, practically daring you to bullshit her with a non-answer. Chaewon is wide-eyed on your right, and Kazuha still has her hand nervously over her mouth.
You have an answer, you know which one you like the most. But you also know that as soon as you say it, the other might kill you.
So, you pick the one that will give the best reaction. See, Chaewon is competitive, right down to the bone. Meaning that when you answer, "Kazuha," she looks about ready to burst a blood vessel.
"What!" she spits, the other two girls bursting into laughter. "I'm the one with the best ass!"
Kazuha has this whole smug look going on, it's not one she uses often, but to tease Chaewon? You don't blame her.
"Oh yeah, you think that's funny? I'll show you whose ass is the best," Chaewon threatens.
"It must be all the squats," Yunjin chimes in.
"Shut up," Chaewon growls at her.
Kazuha leans back in her chair and shrugs, "No need to be jealous. Yours is great too, Chaewon. You work really hard, and it shows."
"Don't try to suck up now, Kazuha."
You watch the whole exchange in silence. This is what happens almost every time Yunjin calls you over to have lunch, and it is always an entertaining time.
"Alright, so what about thighs? Which ones are the best?" Yunjin continues.
"Kazuha," you answer, and Kazuha is practically glowing, "I mean, have you seen how toned her thighs are?"
You turn to Chaewon, a smirk on your face so evil, "Sorry, Chae."
"Alright! That's it!" Chaewon shouts, jumping up from her chair, her eyes burning with determination. Her hands are at the waist of her jeans, popping open the button. "If you won't admit mine are the best, I'll have to prove it to you."
Yunjin sighs, her hand on her chin, and she shakes her head. "Here we go again."
You can feel yourself blush a bit, the way you always do when this happens, even though the four of you have had these lunches dozens of times, and Chaewon has always tried to show off her body at some point. She wiggles her jeans off her hips, sliding them down to reveal her black, lacy thong.
"Well?" she poses, turning to the side to show off her ass, "What about now?"
You are certain the three of you are all thinking the same thing—her body is unbelievable—but nobody is going to stroke her ego like that.
"Oh yeah, definitely Kazuha's," you shrug, trying not to let your gaze linger.
"What?!"
It draws a loud laugh from Yunjin, who's hitting the palm of her hand against her thigh as she wheezes. Kazuha, who is usually the shy one of the bunch, can't help but join in on the laughter.
"Fuck you," Chaewon snaps at you, "And fuck you too!" She turns on her heel and points at Kazuha.
Kazuha is still laughing, and she has her head turned away from Chaewon, but you can see her smile grow wider. She's teasing, "Oh come on, Chaewon, it's okay. You look cute."
"I'll show you cute," Chaewon growls, her hand coming down hard on the table. It makes the cutlery rattle, and the three of you glance between yourselves before a shared giggle bubbles up again.
You look up at Chaewon, who has a scowl on her face. Her eyebrows are furrowed, and her jaw is tense. She has one hand on her hip, her fingers digging into her skin, and the other is gripping the table so hard that her knuckles have gone white. Her body is stiff, the only movement being the rise and fall of her chest. Her face is flushed, either with embarrassment or frustration or both, and her lips are parted, letting her breaths pass through.
Her skin is smooth and soft, and when she moves, you can see the muscles ripple under it. She's so lean, so slender, but there's an undeniable strength behind her.
"What, got something to say?" Chaewon bites, noticing your stare.
"Uh," you fumble, your eyes flitting down her body before shooting up to her face again. "Just, um," you clear your throat, trying to shake yourself out of this trance, "Are you gonna leave your jeans off?"
"Until you realise how wrong you are, yes."
"Okay," you chuckle, then return to sipping on your drink.
"So, are we going to go through the rest of the list? Boobs? Which one's the best?" Yunjin can barely speak for her stifled laughter.
Chaewon huffs, then folds her arms across her chest. She pushes her tits together, the low-cut t-shirt working wonders to showcase her cleavage. "Mine," she states proudly.
"Kazuha."
"I can't with you two," Chaewon whines. "What the fuck?"
"You can't win against me," Kazuha says simply.
Chaewon's glare switches between the three of you. She looks like a wild animal ready to pounce. A dangerous, sexy, wild animal.
"You're all fucking useless," she mutters under her breath, turning on her heel. "I'll be right back."
You watch as she stomps off in her underwear and boots, leaving the three of you alone.
"That was fun," Yunjin smirks, sitting back in her chair and crossing her legs. She looks at you and says, "You've got a mean streak. I love it."
"I just like riling her up," you smirk.
"I noticed."
Kazuha giggles, then takes another sip from her cup. You can't help but watch her. Her dark hair is tied up in a messy bun, and even without makeup, she is beautiful. There is a softness to her, an air of innocence, that you can't quite place.
"What are you looking at?" Kazuha asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing," you shrug.
"I see the way you look at her," Yunjin says with a wink. "Got you thinking about something, huh?"
"Yeah," you say, not knowing how else to respond.
"I bet it's filthy," Yunjin continues. "How long has it been since you two hooked up, again?"
"Too long," Kazuha answers.
"Oh yeah," Yunjin smiles. "Guess I've been a little greedy recently."
"Just a little," Kazuha giggles, her cheeks dusted with red.
"Stop being so shy and ask him then," Yunjin nods in your direction.
"I'm back!" Chaewon announces, turning heads.
"What the fuck are you wearing?" Yunjin asks.
It's nothing but skimpy lingerie. It's black and lacy, hugging her curves perfectly, and leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. Her thong cuts deep between her ass cheeks, and the bra pushes her tits up, not that much is needed. The fabric is sheer, and you can see the dark peaks of her nipples through it.
She's leaning on the doorway as she speaks, "I wasn't going to half-ass it, was I?" Oh, Chaewon, even as you stand there, looking like a whole meal, you still can't resist a good pun. "So," she continues, sauntering over and leaning down, placing her hands on the table and getting in your face. "Have you come to your senses yet?"
You glance away, to look across the table at Yunjin, who's got her eyes fixed on Chaewon's ass and is telling her, "Yeah, no doubt I'm definitely kinda gay. Your butt looks amazing."
"Need more convincing?" Chaewon is looking down her nose at you, a devilish grin spreading across her face.
"More convincing," you repeat.
Chaewon steps between you and the table, pushing the arms of your chair and struggling to move it back.
"W-what are you doing?"
"Convincing." Chaewon turns to the table, puts her chest flat against it and arches her back, giving you the most brazen display. "Is it working?"
"It's..."
"Working," Yunjin finishes for you as she stands up to admire the view.
You take a moment to appreciate her, the way she's bent over the table, the way her ass looks so round and perfect. The way her thighs are toned and muscular, and the way they press together, gives her just a little more shape. You want to touch her, to reach out and run your hands along her smooth skin.
"I'd let her sit on my face," Yunjin whispers as if she could read your mind.
"Oh yeah, for sure," Kazuha adds.
"Would you two shut up? I'm trying to get my point across."
"Don't let us stop you."
Chaewon lets out an irritated sigh, then gets up and sits herself down in your lap. Her hips roll forward, and you can feel her warmth. You can't help yourself, you slip a hand around her waist and rest it on her stomach.
"Do you like this?" Chaewon asks, her voice low and seductive. She leans back, letting her head rest against your shoulder, her breath hot on your ear. "How about this?" She shifts her hips, grinding her ass against your crotch. You bite back a moan, your fingers digging into her flesh.
"You know," Yunjin says, watching as Chaewon continues to rub her ass against you, "We could have a lot more fun with this."
"What do you mean?" Kazuha asks, a hint of nervousness in her voice.
"Well," Yunjin's eyes flick over to meet yours. "If you're not gonna fight for your spot, our friend here might change his mind. How about a competition?"
"Competition?" Chaewon repeats.
"I'm talking a showdown," Yunjin explains, a wide grin on her face. Chaewon is staring blankly at her, and Yunjin rolls her eyes. "Ass vs ass. Who's got the better booty?"
"I'm in," Chaewon immediately agrees.
"What?" Kazuha squeaks.
"Oh, come on. You're not going to back down, are you?"
"No, I'm not," Kazuha states, standing up.
"You don't have to do this," you tell them.
"Shut up," Chaewon shoots back, a smirk on her face.
"Let's settle this once and for all," Yunjin declares. She pulls the table away, leaving you in the middle of the dining room with Chaewon on your knee. She pulls Kazuha to her feet and stands in front of her. Their eyes are locked on each other, both looking nervous. You can't take your eyes off them, especially when Yunjin slides her hands down Kazuha's abs. "First, let's catch you up, get you out of these clothes.
Yunjin hooks her fingers into the waistband of Kazuha's jeans and starts to pull them down, revealing the soft, creamy skin of her thighs. Kazuha lifts her feet out of her shoes and pants, leaving her standing in a pair of white panties.
"Damn, girl, you look good," Yunjin purrs, running her hands along Kazuha's thighs, squeezing the soft flesh.
Meanwhile, Chaewon turns her attention to you, first by pulling your shirt over your head and tossing it aside, then moving on to undoing the buttons on your pants. You're already achingly hard, from having her ass grinding against you, her hands on you, and her scent filling your nostrils. She stands up and steps back, allowing you to stand and drop your pants, then step out of them, leaving you only in your boxers.
"Looks like someone is ready," she teases, looking at the bulge.
You blush, embarrassed, but you can't help the way your cock twitches at her words.
"Alright," Yunjin calls.
The two girls are standing side by side now. Yunjin has sat you down and is standing behind you, her hands on your shoulders, her breath hot on the back of your neck. She's looking between the two girls, taking in their bodies, her eyes filled with lust. Kazuha is biting her lip, her hands clasped together in front of her, her body stiff.
"First, let's see who can move their ass better. Show off what you've got," Yunjin commands.
Chaewon is the first to act, bending over and shaking her hips. Her ass is swaying from side to side, her hips moving in circles, and her ass jiggling with every motion. Her back is arched, her legs straight, and her thighs pressed together, giving her ass the perfect shape.
"Nice," Yunjin whistles.
Kazuha takes a deep breath. She turns to show you her ass, putting her arms above her head and swaying her hips. She doesn't have the same confidence as Chaewon, but her ass still looks great.
"Fuck yeah," Yunjin says, her hand trailing down your chest and stomach.
"You think that's good?" Chaewon huffs. "Watch this."
She backs up towards you, stopping when her ass is almost touching your crotch, and leans back, arching her back. Her ass is pushed out, the curves and lines of her body on display. She places her hands on her ass cheeks and then starts to squeeze and knead her flesh, moaning softly as she does so.
"Fuck, that's hot," Yunjin breathes.
"Don't stop," you gasp.
Kazuha has renewed fight, stepping and dropping her ass against your lap. It's all in the hips, the way she moves, and how her body rolls. It's different from Chaewon, there's a grace to it and a fluidity. She turns, looking back at you, her eyes full of fire, her lips curled into a sly smile. You know that look. It's like a switch is flicked inside her.
"Fuck," you groan, reaching out to grab her, to pull her closer.
Kazuha leans forward, her back arched, and you draw her thick ass towards your cock. Soon enough, Chaewon follows, and you become the filling of an ass sandwich.
"Oh fuck, that looks good," Yunjin says, her hand sliding beneath your waistband and grabbing your cock. She starts to stroke it, slow and steady, teasing the tip with her thumb. But, as their assets draw closer, Yunjin is forced to relinquish, the girls taking hold of your cock between their asses, and rubbing their cheeks against you.
"Ahh, fuck, that's so fucking hot," you moan.
"Yeah, baby, you like that?" Yunjin purrs in your ear.
"God yes," you breathe, your head falling back against her chest.
Chaewon laughs, a smug sound, "He's definitely loving mine."
"In your dreams," Kazuha hisses.
"What was that?"
"I said," Kazuha pushes her ass, to slide your length between her cheeks, rubbing along the fabric of her thong, "He likes my ass more."
"I don't think so," Chaewon shoots back, fighting for position. The girls are ass to ass, cheeks squishing against each other. Your cock is caught between them, and they both start to rock their hips, the friction making you hiss.
"You're both driving me crazy," you moan.
"Yeah?" Chaewon smirks.
"How about this," Kazuha adds, her hips moving faster, and her ass squeezing tighter. It's all matched and challenged by Chaewon, who's moving her hips, and rocking her ass, and doing everything she can to keep up.
This whole thing is fucking ludicrous, don't get it twisted. This is the most insane thing you have ever seen, or done. Two gorgeous women, two insanely sexy asses, both fighting for a chance to prove that theirs is the best. And you're right there, between them, your cock assaulted by the most amazing sensation.
"How are we going to settle this?" Chaewon growls, her ass grinding hard against your cock.
"I'm not stopping until he cums," Kazuha shoots back, her ass moving even faster.
"Me either," Chaewon huffs.
"Wait, wait, stop," you gasp, to no avail. The girls just keep on grinding, keep on rocking, keep on fighting.
"Shh," Yunjin purrs, her hands roaming your chest, and her lips ghosting across the back of your neck. "Let them have their fun."
You moan, your body tense, your cock throbbing between their asses. The girls are panting, their breath heavy, and their bodies slick with sweat. Their skin is hot, their bodies flushed, and their hearts pounding.
"He's getting close," Chaewon smirks, "I can feel it."
"For me," Kazuha insists.
"I'm doing all the work," Chaewon snaps back, her hips rolling faster, and her ass pressing harder.
"Stop, fuck," you hiss, feeling your cock throb, feeling that familiar sensation rising in the pit of your stomach.
"Tell me it's for me. Cum for me, baby."
"No, for me. He's cumming for me," Kazuha shoots back.
And then, it hits. It's an explosion, your body jerking, your muscles spasming. Your head is thrown back, a groan ripped from your throat, and your hips bucking wildly.
"That's it," Chaewon smirks, looking over her shoulder. "I did it. He's cumming because of me."
"No, me," Kazuha pouts, turning her head.
You spill over them, thick, hot cum spraying all over their asses and backs, leaving sticky ropes of white across their smooth, flawless skin.
"F-fuck," you gasp, trying to catch your breath.
"Holy shit," Yunjin murmurs, "That was... fuck.
"It's mine," Chaewon says, her tone cocky and arrogant.
"No, it's mine," Kazuha growls.
The two of them continue their argument, but you can barely hear them. Your body is still recovering, your mind reeling, and your heart racing. What a fucking rush.
"Who's got the best ass? Well," Yunjin chuckles, "It's a tie if you ask me."
"A tie?" Chaewon repeats.
"Yeah, a tie."
"Well, I'm not calling it a tie," Kazuha says.
"Me either," Chaewon huffs, standing upright and glaring at the other woman.
"You're both pretty great," Yunjin states, her hand on your shoulder.
"Kazuha is great, me? I'm perfect."
"Okay," Yunjin sighs. "There's still something he needs to test. You can't decide on the best ass without fucking them both."
"What?" Chaewon and Kazuha gasp at the same time.
"You get five minutes each, then swap. First to make him cum is the winner."
"Deal," Chaewon and Kazuha say simultaneously, their gazes burning into each other.
"Well then," Yunjin says, standing up. "Over the table girls."
You're still fucking out of it. Slumped in the chair while Yunjin guides them over the table, bent at the waist and presenting their asses to you. The girls are draped in your cum, and Yunjin has the task of plucking off their underwear, leaving them bare and naked. Then she comes and pulls you to your feet, positioning you behind Chaewon.
"Cum in whichever feels the best, okay? Wait here a minute." Yunjin runs off to the bedroom, giving Chaewon a chance to bargain with you.
"Come on, you know I've got the better ass. And you know what it can do for you. Just think of all the other times you've fucked my ass. Don't tell me you want Kazuha's ass instead?"
"Uh," you mumble.
"Oh come on," she wiggles her ass, "Look at this."
"Sorry," Yunjin says, reappearing with a bottle in her hand. "Gotta do this right." Yunjin takes a blob of lube in her hand and rubs it onto your cock. It's cold, and it makes you shudder. Then she takes some and rubs it onto Chaewon's ass.
"Fuck," she squeaks, her body trembling.
"Ready?" Yunjin asks.
"Y-yeah."
"Five minutes, go!"
Yunjin pushes you by the hips toward Chaewon, not that you need any encouragement to slip your length between her cheeks.
"That's it, fuck me. Come on, baby. Let's see whose ass feels better."
It's slow to begin, pushing your way into her little asshole. She's still so tight, and even with the added slick, it takes a bit of effort. But she's warm and snug around your cock, and her ass is perfect.
"Fuck, I forgot how big you were," she moans, her voice strained.
"She can't even take it," mocks Kazuha.
"Shut up, I can," Chaewon bites back. "Go on, deeper."
Yunjin has her hand on your hip, guiding you deeper and deeper until you bottom out. Her ass is pressed right against your hips, and she's whimpering. You give her a few moments to adjust before starting to move, pulling out slowly, then pushing back in. You're stretching her out, forcing her to accommodate your length, and her hole is clenching around you.
"Fuck, I love the feeling of your cock," she gasps.
"We all do," Kazuha says flatly.
"Not as much as I do," Chaewon pants.
"Come on, you can fuck her faster," Yunjin whispers in your ear.
So you pick up the pace, your hips moving, and your cock thrusting deep into her. She's moaning and writhing beneath you, her ass shaking with every impact, her body trembling. You can't stop yourself, you're pounding her hard, slamming your cock deep inside her. The cum on her cheeks is smeared, making the sight even more filthy.
"Shit," she groans, her ass bouncing back against your hips.
You're lost in her, fucking her hard and fast, making her take every inch of you. You're grunting, your balls slapping against her skin, and your cock stretching her hole. You're losing control, the sounds of your fucking filling the room.
"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum," she moans.
"You're such a slut," Kazuha hisses.
"Oh fuck," Chaewon cries, her ass clenching around your cock, her body convulsing, and her pussy dripping. "Oh my god, fuck," she screams, her whole body tensing, and her eyes rolling back.
"Holy shit," you gasp, your cock throbbing and twitching.
"Alright, time's up," Yunjin says, grabbing you and pulling you away from her.
"What the fuck, no, don't stop," Chaewon pleads.
"Swap," Yunjin demands, shoving you towards Kazuha.
You stumble forward, your cock aching and throbbing. You're still sensitive, and the sudden change has your head spinning. Yunjin covers you again with more lube and slaps your ass to let you know to begin.
Kazuha's chest is flat on the table, her cheek pressed against the wood, and her hands gripping the edge. She turns to look at you, her eyes full of silent desire. There's an arch to her back, and her ass is perfectly presented, just waiting for you to enter her.
"Take her," Yunjin whispers and her hand pushes down on your hip.
You step forward, the tip of your cock pressing against her asshole. You can see her muscles tensing, and she lets out a soft moan as you push into her. She's even tighter than Chaewon, her body squeezing and gripping your cock. She's not nearly as experienced, her reactions are more innocent.
"Oh," she gasps, her body shivering, "That's... that's really good."
You grab her hips, your fingers digging into her flesh, and you push deeper, feeling her asshole stretch and open up for you. She lets out a sharp cry, and you pause, giving her a moment to relax.
"Keep going," she pleads, her voice thick with lust.
You start to move, sliding out of her and then pushing back in. She's hot and tight around you, and her muscles are contracting, squeezing and clenching, pulling you deeper into her.
"Oh my god, it's so good," she moans.
Her eyes are closed, and her mouth is open, and her body is quivering. You keep going, thrusting harder and deeper, until you're buried in her ass. She lets out a long, low moan, and you can feel her trembling.
"She can barely take it," Chaewon laughs.
"Don't listen to her," Kazuha pleads, looking over her shoulder at you. "Just keep going, please."
You groan a response and start to pound her harder. Sticky flesh slapping together, your hands holding her steady, and her cries filling the room. You're fucking her rough, and she's taking every inch of you. It feels incredible, and the pleasure builds, your cock throbbing and aching.
"Come on, cum for me," she whines.
"Fuck, you're so sexy," you gasp, your hips bucking. Just one slap of her ass and it's marked already, red and pink from the impact.
"You're close," she whimpers.
"Keep going," Yunjin encourages. "Two minutes or they both lose."
Your whole body is trembling, and your head is spinning. Your cock is so hard and aching, and your balls are tight. Your hips are bucking, and you're fucking her with abandon, her ass taking every inch.
"Come on," she begs.
You groan, and then you're there, your whole body shuddering, and your cock pulsing and throbbing, emptying your cum into her ass. As soon as Chaewon sees that look on your face, she knows she's lost. She whines a defeated sound and slumps against the table.
Kazuha is the one smiling though, and as she stands, you notice her knees are a bit weak. "I win," she announces, a little triumphant.
"You cheated," Chaewon pouts.
"How the hell did I cheat?"
"I don't know, you just did." Chaewon's got that little pouty expression stuck to her face, and she swears her revenge. "Next time, I'll beat you. You'll see."
"If you say so," Kazuha smiles, looking at the mess leaking from her ass. You're stumbling back and Yunjin is your support, keeping you steady.
Yunjin is in your ear, "You've still got another round in you, right?"
"I don't know," you pant.
"You, me and the shower. Think about it."
"Yeah," you manage, and then her hand is on your arm, leading you to the bathroom.
"Where the fuck are you going?" Chaewon demands, her hands on her hips.
"Shower," Yunjin calls, dragging you along. "You girls caused this mess, you can clean up. Maybe even lick his cum off each other's asses."
"No, don't leave," Chaewon whines.
But, it's too late, the door is closing, and Yunjin is pushing you up against the wall. "You know," she whispers, her hands on your chest and her body pressed against yours, "I'm kinda turned on."
"Yeah?"
"Watching them fight over you was so hot."
"Yeah, it was," you admit.
"So," she presses her lips to yours, kissing you hungrily, and slipping her tongue into your mouth.
You return her passion, your hands running up her body, and down her back. She breaks the kiss, and looks up at you, a coy smile on her lips.
"Let's have a little fun," she murmurs, reaching behind her and turning on the shower. The water flows, steam fills the air, and Yunjin steps under the stream, letting it cascade over her naked body.
"Fuck," you gasp.
"What's the matter?" she teases, grabbing the bottle of soap and squirting it onto her chest. She lathers up her chest, spreading the foamy liquid over her smooth skin, her nipples hardening as the suds run down her body.
"You're gorgeous," you say, stepping towards her.
She grabs you by the hips, pulling you close, her hands roaming your body. Her skin is slick with soap, her touch gentle and teasing. She's looking up at you, her eyes filled with desire.
"Are you ready?" she whispers, her voice husky.
"Always," you grin, cupping her breasts and kneading them in your hands.
"Fuck," she sighs, leaning into you, her eyes closed, and her body relaxed.
You kiss her, tasting her lips, your tongue sliding against hers. She moans, her hands trailing down your back, and her nails digging into your skin.
"Mmm, so good," she murmurs, breaking the kiss and looking up at you. "All this anal stuff has got me thinking, maybe it's time we tried something new."
"Really?" you ask, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't think it was ever really your thing? You always said a butt plug was enough."
"I've been practising," she winks.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Maybe it's best if I show you."
"Oh," you grin.
"So," she purrs, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing her body against yours. "You want to see what I can do?"
"Fuck yes," you breathe, a rush of excitement running through your body.
She smiles, biting her lip and pulling away from you. She turns her back to you, facing the wall, and places her hands flat on the tile. She arches her back, and you watch as she spreads her legs and bends further and further over. Her ass is sticking out, her perfect, plump cheeks inviting you in.
You can't help yourself. You kneel behind her, grab her cheeks and spread them wide. She lets out a soft moan, and you press your face into her ass, inhaling her sweet scent.
"Fuck," you groan, kissing her puckered hole.
"Mmm," she moans, pushing her ass back into your face.
"That feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes," she whispers, her breath hitching in her throat.
You tease her with your tongue, licking her asshole, and swirling the tip around the rim. She shivers, and you push a finger into her, probing her, exploring her. She's so tight, and the sounds she's making are driving you wild.
"Please," she begs, her voice a desperate whisper. "Please fuck me."
"Are you sure?" you ask, a hint of surprise in your voice.
"Yes," she says, looking back at you. "I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I'm finally ready."
"You don't have to, we can just have a regular fuck."
"No," she insists, her eyes blazing. "I want to try it, and I want you to be the one to do it."
"Fuck," you growl, pulling your finger out of her ass and standing up. You press the tip of your cock against her, and she whimpers. A shiver runs through her, and her hands ball into fists. There's this tension in the air, and her breathing is shallow and fast. Utterly shameless, she reaches back and pulls her asscheeks apart, opening herself up for you.
"Come on," she whimpers. "Do it. Put it in."
You press against her, your cock throbbing, and her asshole quivering. You push, and she gasps, her muscles tightening, her body tensing. But she doesn't pull away. You push again, harder, and her asshole starts to give way, stretching and opening for you. She lets out a strangled cry, her ass clenching around your cock, as the first few inches slip into her. You can go no further. No amount of practice could prepare her for this.
"You're so tight," you groan.
"It hurts," she whines, her body trembling.
"Just relax, okay?"
"I can't," she moans, her muscles straining.
"Just breathe," you say, stroking her back and ass.
She takes a deep breath, and then another, and then a third. You can feel her body relaxing, her muscles loosening, her asshole stretching.
"That's it," you encourage, pushing deeper into her. "How's that? Better?"
"Yes," she whispers, her eyes rolling back in her head.
You slowly start to move, thrusting in and out of her ass. She's so tight, her body gripping your cock like a clenched fist. Her moans fill the room, echoing off the tiles.
"Fuck," she hisses, her head hanging low, her shoulders hunched. Yunjin has always been the hold-out. Her anal virginity has eluded you, but not any more. Finally, all the best asses in K-pop are willing to take you. There's nothing better.
"Fuck," she groans, her nails scraping against the tiles. "Harder."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," she pants.
You grab her hips and start fucking her harder, it's still tough to get more than half of your length inside her, but what she's taking is driving her crazy.
You hook a hand underneath her, past her toned stomach to play with her pussy. She's soaked, dripping with lust, her clit hard and swollen. You tease her, stroking and rubbing her, and she cries out, her whole body tensing.
"You're gonna make me cum," she gasps, her hips bucking against your hand.
"Not until I say so," you growl. She whimpers, her ass tightening around your cock, her legs trembling. You lean forward, grabbing a fistful of her hair and yanking her head back. "Who am I?" you snarl, fucking her ass harder.
"Ah," she whines, her voice strained. "You're...you're my daddy."
"That's right," you growl, your cock throbbing. "Now cum for me."
You rub her clit, and she cums, her whole body convulsing, and her pussy gushing. It's a powerful orgasm, and she's shaking and crying out, her ass squeezing your cock like crazy. She grows weak, barely able to stand and take it. You pull out, let her fall to her knees, and then take hold of her hair to face you.
She's looking up at you with this expression like she's drunk, or high. A good ass fucking and she is a mess. A happy mess. One that's perfect to be coated in your load.
You stroke yourself, staring down at her, and her eyes widen, her lips parted and waiting. You grunt a shudder runs through you, and your cock erupts. Thick ropes of cum splatter across her face, covering her cheeks, her lips, and her nose. She's whimpering, stroking her tits and moaning out words of pure filth for you. "So much cum for your favourite girl. We both know those two don't stand a chance against me."
She's a mess. She's a hot, filthy mess. You step back, admiring her, a smug satisfaction filling your mind while she licks your cum from around her mouth. "Don't get complacent," you tease.
"Never."
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