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vioartemis · 2 years ago

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I’ll die with you (part 2)

(Tara Carpenter x fem! reader)

Summary: After you woke up at the hospital, your little group gathered and tried to list the suspects. When you get home with your girlfriend, she finds a good way to unstress you. Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3 || Part 4 || Part 5 || Part 6 || Part 7 Warnings: (+18), smut, fingering (r receiving), mention of attack (English isn't my first language, I'm sorry if there are mistakes or if something doesn't make sense TvT)

In the morning, the police came to question you about what happened. You told them all you could remember, Tara still by your side.

"Do you know who it could be?" the new sheriff asked

"No I... I don't know..."

"Do you have ennemies?"

"No one who's still alive"

"Okay so... We'll keep you informed if we have something new"

He was about to go, but Tara called him back.

"Wait! Aren't you going to put us under protection?"

"Well, the person who attacked you probably think you're dead so..."

"We're not talking about any killer! It's Ghostface! He's going to come back. He always does."

She stood up and glared daggers at him, ready to fight until he gave you whatever protection.

"Tara..." you squeezed her hand "It's okay Sheriff, thank you"

She looked at you in disbelief as he got out of the room.

"What are you doing? You know we're in danger we need to be protected-"

"You know it's useless. He killed your protection last year, remember...? And we are not in danger. I am"

"Yeah and you're my girlfriend, so we are in danger"

"No. You are going to leave Woodsboro with Sam and the others. That way you will be safe and-"

"And you? You're coming with us right?"

You stayed silent, avoiding her gaze.

"No. No. I am not leaving you here."

"Tara it's the only way! Leave when you still can! I'll keep him busy here. He's going to come back for me. He wants me dead Tara."

"Well then I'll die with you."

"Tara-"

"I prefer dying with you than living far away while you're in danger"

Later this day, when Tara left to grab some coffee, you were visited by one of your friends and classmates. He knocked softly before opening the door slowly.

"Hi, how are you feeling?"

"Physically? Pretty good thanks to the painkillers. Mentally..." you didn't finish your sentence "How do you know I was attacked?"

"Tara called us. The press doesn't talk about it yet if that's what you were wondering. The teachers didn't know why you weren't here, Mindy told them you were sick"

You didn't know if that was the best thing to do. Not creating panic was great, but if Ghostface was back everyone was in danger. Now that the new sheriff wasn't so familiar with the killer, you were even more worried.

"... But the police arrived and told them everything" he continued "Oh! I bring you something, here" he handed you a card "Everyone signed it"

You took the card and opened it, lips curling up slightly at the sight: Kyra, Finn, Mindy, Lexi, Angie, Kyle, Chad, Ayla, Eleanor...

"Looks like not everyone signed it"

"What? I gave it to everyone that's no possible... who forgot?"

"You" you chuckled

"Shit..." he mumbled, blushing in embarrassement "I was so busy making sure they all signed I forgot to do it..."

You gave him the card so he could sign it, when Tara came back, two cups of coffee in hand.

"Sorry it took me so long there was so many people at th-" she paused when she saw him "Damian? You're not at school?"

"They dismissed us because of... what happened..."

He gave you the card again gently.

"What's that?" Tara asked, handing you one of the cups and sitting next to you

"We made a card for Y/n, all classmates signed it"

"Babe I don't know if I'm supposed to drink coffee..." you whispered

"Oh, right, I thought it could give you energy but... I didn't think this through..."

"I'm going to leave you alone... It was nice seeing you Y/n, Tara... I'll be back later maybe"

"Thanks for coming" you said

With that, Damian exited your room with a slight smile. Immediately after the door closed, Tara turned to you.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"You shouldn't stay alone with someone! What if he's Ghostface?"

"Tara! Come on have you seen him? He's an angel, he couldn't hurt a fly"

"The more innocent they look the more dangerous they are" she mumbled

"If he wanted to kill me I would be dead. It's not him. Now relax and come here"

You moved a little to the side and lifted the covers so she could come in your bed with you. She took her shoes off and took place next to you. You rested your head against her. You missed her touch, her warmth, her perfume.

You thought you would never feel it again, and be here now against her relaxed you to the point you fell asleep.

When you woke up, Sam, Chad, Damian, Mindy, Lexi and your mom were here, sitting in circle around your bed. Tara was still next to you, stroking your hair lovingly.

"How long did I sleep...?"

"Around an hour" Tara replied, kissing your forehead

"You should've wake me up... sorry you had to wait..."

"It's okay, don't worry" Mindy said

"Have you figured out who the killer is already?" you asked her

"Not yet, unfortunately. But I have my list of suspects! Well not really... but-"

Like the year before, she started rambling about sequels and requels and something about a franchise and that everyone could die now.

"Now for the suspects... That's when it gets complicated..."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked

"Well, I don't think any of us survivor would do this. Gale is Y/n's mother, she wouldn't hurt her own daughter. Tara loves her way too much to lay a hand on her. And Sam, Chad and me, we all love Y/n, why would we attack her?"

"We wouldn't" her twin said

"Exactly. That leaves..." Mindy turned to the other boy "Damian, ah, Damian. How come you got close to Y/n after the massacre last year? You barely talked before."

"Well I- I don't know, I wanted to be friends with her. I always thought of talking to her but I don't know I just- got shy I guess..."

"Sure, very convincing"

"Wha- I'm not lying-"

"Lexi, my love" Mindy interrupted him, blowing a kiss to her girlfriend who smiled "Never trust the love interest"

The blonde's smile dropped quickly at her words.

"Is that it? Two suspects?" Gale asked Mindy

"Well, according to sequel of requel rules, yes"

"Great" she was being sarcastic, of course. She turned to the now prime suspects "Do you have an alibi for last night?"

Mindy's girlfriend was the first to answer.

"I was at Kyra's birthday party"

"Can you prove it?"

"Ask anyone who was there, check social medias..."

"I was there" Chad said "I can confirm she was at the party all night long"

After a little silence and a nod, Gale turned to Damian.

"And you?"

"I uh... I was home"

"Alone?"

"Yes..." then, after seing the look on everyone's face "But it's not me I swear! I didn't-"

"Yeah, totally not what the killer would say" Mindy jeered

"Y-you don't think it's me right? Chad? Lexi? Tara? Y/n?" the brunet stuttered

Tara's grip on you grew tighter, you could feel her body tense. You place your hand on hers, squeezing gently.

"I don't know man..."

"Come on guys, we can't make assumptions like that... Look at him, do you think he could slam my head against the floor three times? I mean- he looks so harmless with his fluffy hair, and he's too skinny to be the one who attacked me. No offense though"

"None taken" he mumbled, grateful for your support

"Y/n, just because you like his hair doesn't mean he's innocent. It's always the ones that looks the less harmful who does the most horrible things" your mom reminded you

"See, that's what I tried to tell you earlier"

"Tara..."

"What can I do to prove you I'm innocent...?"

"Damian, you don't need to prove anything, we don't-" you started

"You're going to stay with us, so we can keep an eye on you. If needed, tell your parents you're staying at Chad's house, your dear friend" the boy suggested

"I don't know if I like the idea" Mindy objected

"Do you have a better idea? You can stay at Lexi's if you're too scared"

After arguing with the doctors for half an hour, they finally let you go back home. The last time one of Ghostface's victims stayed at the hospital, she got attacked again. The memory was still fresh in yours and Tara's mind.

You could never forget this night.

Tara helped you carry your things to her room, putting your bag in a corner, and leading you to her bed.

"They said you shouldn't stand for too long-"

"Tara, babe, I'm not going to break... I know you're worried, but I'm fine"

"You're not fine, you've been stabbed six times! I know how it feels. It doesn't feel okay"

"... I know it's just- I don't want to stay here doing nothing..." you sighed "I'll lay here without complaining, come here"

You made yourself comfortable on her bed, opening your arms.

"Isn't it going to hurt you if I lay on you...?"

"It's okay, don't worry. I want to be close to you"

She complied and kissed you tenderly before positioning herself, nose pressed against your neck.

You closed your eyes, but immediately the scenes of the day before flashed before your eyes. Ghostface, the pain, the blood, Tara's screams, everything.

"Baby...?" Tara looked at you, concerned "You okay...?"

"Y-yeah... I just... I had some flashbacks..."

"Shit... How can I help?"

"If you know a good method to relax it would be appreciated..."

"Well... maybe I know something that could help"

"Really?"

"Hmhm"

She sat gently on your thighs, a slight smirk on her face.

"Tara-"

"Shh..." she whispered as she crawled to capture your lips with her own "I promise you'll feel better after... 'm gonna take good care of you..."

As she kissed you, one of her hands unbuttoned your jeans and slipped past the waistband of your underwear. She brushed her fingers over your clit, eliciting a moan from you.

You could feel her smile on your lips when she felt the wetness between your legs. She didn't waste time and slipped two digits inside you, humming in appreciation as she felt you clench around her.

She started pumping her fingers in and out of your pussy at a slow pace, provoking moans to slip past your now red and swollen lips. She kissed her way down to your neck, leaving love bites here and there.

When she curled her fingers, your hand tangled in her soft hair.

"Tara..." you let out in a breath

"I love it when you say my name like that..."

She picked up her pace, hitting all the right spots, drawing you closer to your release. She sucked dark purple marks on your neck and slipped another finger in. That was enough to send you over the edge.

"Good girl..."

You could have came again just from that, if it wasn't for Sam to enter the room suddenly.

"What do you want for din- Oh my god-"

She blushed hard when she saw what you were doing and turned her gaze quickly to the floor.

"Jesus christ! Do you think now is the best moment for... that?"

Tara slipped her fingers out of you and casually shove them in her mouth, licking you off her fingers.

"I figured out it was the best way to relax her. Beside, if you knocked..."

"Don't, please. Just- answer the question"

"Pizza would be great, right baby?"

You nodded slightly, cheeks as red as a tomato, mortified. Sam quickly left after she had her answer.

"You didn't lock the door?!" you whispered-shouted "How I am supposed to look at her in the eye now...?"

"Do you feel better?"

"Babe that's not-" you paused at the look she gave you "... yes"

"See, I told you it would help..." she leaned in for a kiss, a smile on her face

"God you really have no shame..." you mumbled, kissing her passionately

"Nope" she smiled against your lips

You knew this kind of moments were the best to remember years after, but at the moment you were embarrassed. Still, a part of yourself 'enjoyed' that moment.

Maybe it was your subconscious knowing happiness would soon end to be replaced by grief.

[Previous part] || [Next part]

#tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x fem reader #scream #scream 5 #tara carpenter smut

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ladylooch · 6 months ago

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Best Thing I'll Ever Do - Lio x Savannah (Part 1)

A/N: It is here!!!! Part 1 of 5 for Lio and Savannah's long fertility journey. Sorry in advance because y'all are gonna hurt with this one... and the next one.. and the next one... and, well you get it 😬 These parts will span over multiple years. Currently, Savannah and Lio are back together, but it's new.

Word Count: 5.1k

Part 2| Part 3 | Part 4 |

On a sunny day in Southern California, Lio Meier looks out the bus window, nodding his head to the beat of the song blasting through his AirPods. He is deep in his pre-game routine, ready to hit the ice for another battle in the greatest hockey league in the world. His eyes trail over the flat surface of the hotel lot, looking up at the blue California sky. It’s hot today, welcome compared to the snow currently falling on the East Coast. He feels the bus begin to rumble as the break is released, then glances towards the front of the bus as Hockey Ops director, Marc, comes towards his seat.

“Sup?” Lio asks, popping an ear bud out when it’s clear Marc wants to speak to him.

“Hey, Savannah isn’t feeling well. She’s staying behind to rest.”

“Oh. Okay.” Lio frowns. “Thanks for letting me know.”

He hasn’t seen his girlfriend today, but that isn’t unusual for game days. She is busy working on game-day content with her staff and he has to worry about getting in the right mental state for the game. They had been texting earlier about a few things, actually work related, but she never mentioned she wasn’t feeling well. She must have started to feel sick after they both took their pre-game naps.

Marc heads back to the front of the bus as Lio pulls his phone out. He navigates into his messages to check in on her.

You okay?

Yeah, just not up for the game.

Okay. I’m sorry you’re sick, babe. Can I do anything for you?

Win 😘 I don’t need angry fans in the team DMs.

Yes ma’am. Love you 😘

He chuckles, then puts his phone back in his pocket. He pops his earbud in his ear and returns to his pre-game focus.

By the time his skate blades hit the rubber mats of the visiting locker room after the game, Lio is on a high. Not only did the team win, but he had two goals and an assist. He was on fire tonight, flying through defenses, hitting his picked corners, and saucing ridiculous passes on the power play. He felt like he was in a little funk before this West Coast trip, but that all faded away tonight. He loves being on the road with the boys. And Savannah, even if she likes to tease him and keep him at an arms length so she can focus on her job.

Normally, Lio plays along well, but tonight he isn’t going to let her close her hotel room door on him.

Not because he wants sex. Mostly, he wants to cuddle with her and fall asleep together. Nights like this are rare, where they are going back to the same hotel and not catching a plane to the next destination. Instead, they are having back to back games against the Ducks and Kings.

Lio can’t wait to drill Luca into the boards tomorrow. Although, they don’t usually match up together, the boys have a tradition of finding the other in the first few shifts of the game. It’s a competition on who can hit who first. The two hockey players love it. Checking helps shift their mindset from brothers to opponents for the next 60 minutes.

Lio grabs two slices of pizza from the catering table, then makes his way down to the bus. He checks his phone, not seeing anything from Savannah, but plenty of texts from his parents and siblings. His parents are proud. His sister is reminding him he better not pull any shit tomorrow. His younger brothers are cheering about his top titty goals. There is also a text from Connor asking when he is back in town because him and Lucie are itching for a date night. He holds both pizza slices between his teeth so he can text Connor back right away. He misses Stella so much and knows Sav will jump at the chance to hang with her too.

Tuesday or Thursday this week works.

After texting Connor, he pulls up his phone app, clicking on Savannah’s name to call her. The phone rings and rings and rings, then goes to her voicemail. Lio clicks off the call, sending her a text instead.

Hey babe, we should be back in like twenty minutes. I’m gonna change then come up. No negotiations tonight 🤐

He smirks. He can’t wait to get his hands on her. Maybe let them wander over her curves, see what they can get up to tonight, but only if she is up for it.

The ride back to the hotel is quiet with most of the boys trying to wind down to go to sleep. Back to backs are brutal at this point in the season, so conserving energy and attempting to recover faster is important. Lio is one of the first ones off the bus, heading to his room and pulling on a fresh pair of sweatpants. He hangs his suit up in the closet, then gives his teeth a quick brush to remove the coating of gatorade and saliva on his teeth from the game. After, he heads up one floor to Savannah’s room. He continues responding to his dad as he walks down the hallway, slides gliding on the carpet below while his thumbs work on the phone screen.

He raises his hand to knock, rapping his knuckles against the solid door. He chuckles at his dad’s gif back to him of Swiss cheese when joking about the Kings goalie they face tomorrow. He looks at the door, surprised Sav hasn’t answered yet. He knocks again.

“Babe, it’s me.” He calls through the door.

Lio puts his phone in his pocket, then stuffs his hands in each one. He shifts his weight from side to side, stretching out his hips a bit. They’re feeling tight after the game. He mentally reminds himself to stretch before bed.

Lio pauses all his movements and thoughts, listening intently, trying to hear if Sav is walking towards the door. He steps closer, pressing his ear on the door. Of course he can’t hear anything. Instinctively, he tries the door. Of course it is locked. He steps back, double checking the plaque to the right that he is at the correct room.

“Babe?” He says louder. “I need you to open the door or respond or something…” He trails off, anxiety rocking through him. He knows something is wrong.

He pulls his phone out, calling her. He can hear her phone ringing close to the door. Then he hears the click of the lock. The door creaks slightly open. Lio sees Savannah on the ground, tear streaked down her face. Her face is pale and her body heaves with each heavy breath she breathes.

“Oh my god, baby.” He crouches down to her level immediately. He puts a hand on her cheek, feeling her skin. She feels fine. He moves his fingers to her jaw, feeling how clenched it is. Lio’s eyebrows furrow. “What is going on?”

Savannah whimpers. She is in complete disarray, crumbled clothes, hair fumbling out of her braid like she has been tugging on it endlessly.

“How long have you been like this, honey?” Lio whispers tenderly. His hands roam over her, needing to touch her but worrying about hurting her.

Savannah shakes her head. Lio pushes the door open, mindful of not hitting her legs. He works his way into the door fully, then cautiously picks her up. She shudders in his arms as he kicks the door shut. Her head rests on his shoulder, eyes screwed shut tight as she clutches her abdomen with coiled fingers.

“You’re in pain?” He asks. She nods vigorously. “Okay, I am going to call Doc up here.”

He gently lays Savannah on the bed. She immediately curls into a fetal position, moaning. Lio rests his hand on her thigh, rubbing along it in soothing circles as he dials the team doctor, Darius.

“Hello?”

“I need you to come to Savannah’s room. Something is wrong. 610. Please run.”

“Okay.” He hangs up.

“He’s coming, baby.” Lio leans forward, brushing her hair of her face. “I’ll be right back.” Then he kisses her arm, before walking to the door to wait.

The elevator opens and Dr. Darius comes out with his bag in his hand. He runs down the hall.

“What’s going on?”

“I don’t know. She can’t really speak, but she is in pain and holding her abdomen.”

“Okay.” Dr. Darius darts into the room, opening his bag. “Hi Savannah.” She looks up at him with fresh tears on her cheeks. “Can you give me a rating from 1-10?”

“Its a 9.” She wails. “I’ve thrown up three times. And I passed out in the bathroom.”

“Okay. What hurts?”

“It’s my Endo.” She grits out. “I have my period. I’m bleeding through everything too.” They both look down at Savannah’s pants, seeing the blood collecting on the fabric.

“Okay. We gotta go to the hospital.”

“I know.” She says. “I just… c-c-can’t.” She grits her teeth again, screeching through her teeth. Lio feel this heart collapse in his chest. He has never seen Savannah like this. He doesn’t understand what Endo is or what is going on. All he knows is she is a tough woman and for her to be wrung out like this, whatever she is feeling is extreme.

“Can you give her anything?” Lio asks, feeling slightly sick to his stomach watching her writhe on the bed. Darius is holding her wrist, checking her pulse.

“No. We don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

“She just said its… Endo… I don’t know what the is but it’s clearly painful.”

“We can’t give her anything. We will let the hospital take care of it.” Dr. Darius stands, walking into the bathroom. “Wrap this around her waist. Then I want you to carry her down to the lobby. I’ll grab Marc for the car keys and meet you down there.”

Dr. Darius leaves the room. Lio turns back to Sav. She still lays in the fetal position, eyes closed, focusing on her breaths, trying to even them out even as the pain clearly keeps her rigid.

“Hold on, baby.” Lio whispers, leaning down to kiss her temple. She reaches for his hand on her thigh, crushing it in her grasp.

“Lee, don’t leave me.”

“Never.” He promises. “I’m right here.”

Lio keeps his promise on the way to the hospital where he sits in the back seat with her and then in the chair next to her hospital bed. Although they get a bed quickly, it takes forever for them to be seen in the ER. Eventually, Dr. Darius finds a nurse who he explains the organization they are with. Then, a doctor comes to see them in another few minutes.

After flipping through the chart and asking a few basic questions, then taking her vitals, he sighs and flips the stethoscope back around his neck.

“Well, you’ve had endometriosis since you were young. But with the severity of the pain, potentially an ovarian cyst burst. Do you have a history of that?”

“Yes.” Savannah says.

“Okay, well let’s get an ultrasound done and see if that may be the cause.” Savannah nods. Lio squeezes her hand, finally happy with progress being made to get her pain relief.

The ultrasound confirms the cyst, it has burst, and Savannah should be feeling better after a few days. However, the radiologist warns Savannah there is significant build up of endometriosis in her uterus. Savannah stares blankly at the screen as the technician points to the areas of concern.

“You will want to follow up with your primary care provider when you return home.” Savannah nods, then looks away from the screen, playing with the edges of the paper blanket that was placed over her lower half for the ultrasound.

“What about the blood?” Lio asks the ER doctor when he comes back in to discharge Savannah.

“It isn’t significant blood loss to warrant further action. She may become anemic. Iron supplements will help. She will be tired for a few days while her body replenishes her supply, but nothing more to be done here.”

“Wait, what?” Lio shakes his head. “So she just has to suffer until her body creates enough blood. Why can’t you give her a transfusion?”

“Because other people have a greater need.” The doctor snaps back. Lio is taken aback. His mouth drops open in surprise, then he looks over at Dr. Darius like, ‘is this guy for real?’

“Savannah has been in significant pain for some time now. Can we get additional pain management prescribed for her as her body works on absorbing the cyst?” He asks. The doctor nods, tossing his notepad on the table.

“Any medication allergies?” He asks Savannah without looking up.

“No.” She weakly responds.

“Okay, this should be good then.” He rips off the note pad and extends it to her. She frowns.

“Can I have something stronger? This doesn’t really work for me. It’s basically stronger Tylenol.” The doctor contemplates.

“The circumstances don’t call for anything stronger at this point.”

“Seriously? What the fuck is your problem dude?” Lio snaps.

“And your boyfriend seems to have an anger management problem so I wonder if he wants you to get some pain pills for himself.” Lio puffs his chest out, trying to stand, but Savannah grips his fingers tightly.

“No.” She murmurs to him.

“This is very unprofessional.” Dr. Darius frowns. “Standard hospital protocol should allow for strong drugs in circumstances where patients have been in severe pain for over 8 hours, which she has. She was also give stronger medication than what you have prescribed here when she first came in and is now in a comfortable position.”

The doctor sighs again, like he’s so bored with this conversation and these three people, then writes out a prescription for a strong dosage.

“Please follow up with your provider when you return home.” He calls lazily over his shoulders as he leaves the room.

Lio pops up, following him out of the room with Dr. Darius hot on his heels.

“Look, I’m sorry I got upset, but you’re not listening to her. This is not normal. She can’t breathe, man. You have to help her.”

“I am helping her. She has a diagnosis and needs to work with her primary care provider for a treatment plan. This is a chronic condition. Not an emergency.”

"So, that's it? You're just gonna leave her in that bed, pump her with drugs, and hope thats enough for her?"

"Lio, let's go back in with Savannah." Dr. Darius encourages him. Lio stands there looking at the ER doctor with his hands on his hips. There are so many things he wants to say. He wants to grab that guy and throw him against the wall to make him hurt like his girl hurts. Then he can try to explain the differences in chronic versus new pain while he has a few broken ribs.

Ultimately, Lio scoffs incredulously and beings to walk back into the room. He looks at Dr. Darius. “We need to find her someone better than that asshole.”

Savannah has her eyes closed, slumped back into the pillows when both men come back through the door.

“What a fucking prick.” Lio mutters about the doctor to Savannah.

“He’s pretty typical of the other ER doctors I’ve seen.” She mumbles. “They see worse than some fragile woman with an invisible illness.”

“How is it invisible?” Lio asks, eyebrows scrunched tight over his frustrated blue eyes. “He literally saw it on the ultrasound. We all did.” Savannah gives him a small smile.

“Women’s pain isn’t take seriously. Especially when it surrounds uteruses or vaginas or has anything to do with periods.” She sighs, closing her eyes and laying back in bed. “I want to go back to the hotel and sleep for a day. Like literally a full day.”

“We can make that happen.” He murmurs, reaching up to hold her head softly. His thumb strokes across her forehead as his eyes drink her in, relieved that she seems to be pain free now. No thanks to that fucking asshat who just walked out of here. “You doing okay” He asks her. He reaches to her abdomen, adjusting the heating pad on her abdomen where it was sliding off without a hand on it. He rests his hand there gently, keeping it in place so she can stay in the position she is in.

“Mhm. Good drugs.” She smiles without opening her eyes.

“I didn’t know cysts could form internally…” He trails off, still brushing her forehead.

“Yeah, and I’m extra special, getting them regularly. They don’t always hurt this bad though. Guess it makes sense with how much fluid and such was on the ultrasound. Must have been big.”

“I hate that this happens to you.” He sympathizes. She nods through a yawn.

“Lee, I am gonna sleep for a bit, okay? Wake me when I’m discharged.”

“Okay, baby.” Lio whispers to her.

Savannah falls asleep quickly with Lio’s soft hands on her. He watches every second of her slumber, ignoring the other noises and distractions of the ER. Dr. Darius works with the nursing staff on her discharge paperwork, then signs releasing her from the hospital. They get a sleepy Savannah in the wheelchair, fill her prescription at the clinic in the adjoining parking lot, then head back to the hotel. Lio carries his girlfriend back into her room. He drops her off in the bathroom, stepping out so she can clean up on her own. Even though he wants to help, Savannah asks for privacy. He understands; it’s been a long, raw day for her.

Lio waits on the end of the bed, popping up when he hears the door click open. He wraps an arm around her, guiding her to the bed. He tucks her in with the new heating pad they grabbed for her at the pharmacy, then he tugs his shirt off to wind down for bed with her. It’s after 1am and he is dead tired- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Thankfully, Savannah doesn’t fight his presence. Instead she curls into him, sliding a leg between his so he can hold her as close as possible.

“Thank you for saving me.” She murmurs. “I would still be laying on the floor if you didn’t come looking for me.” Lio frowns, then kisses her forehead.

“I love you. I… want to talk more about what is going on with you. I should have asked before, but I didn’t realize it was this bad, baby.”

“It actually hasn’t been this bad in awhile.” Savannah confesses. “But the ultrasound confirmed what I had been thinking. The tissue has grown back and it is deeper.” She yawns loudly. “I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.” She confirms. “But right now, just hold me.”

- - -

The next morning, Lio wakes up before Savannah. He feels like utter shit. Luckily with it being a back to back, there is not morning skate to take part in. But there is breakfast downstairs, so he peels himself out of Savannah’s grasp and heads down to the conference room to grab something to eat for both of them.

“How is she?” Dr. Darius asks when he sees Lio.

“She is still asleep. But was stable the rest of the night and slept through it.” He surveys the options, grabbing a bagel with cream cheese for Savannah and a breakfast burrito for him.

“Good. I will come see her before we head to the rink. Determine if she should stay behind or not.” Lio nods.

“Thanks. I would appreciate that.” Lio says honestly. Dr. Darius pats Lio’s arm.

“You took great care of her last night. She will need that consistently with her condition.” Lio is silent, grabbing a few pieces of fruit for his and Savannah’s plate. He can’t agree or make any sort of response to the doctor because truthfully, he has no idea about Savannah’s condition. Last night was a huge shock to him. He knew she had something from their previous, short term relationship and from what she communicated to him in Switzerland this past summer about likely being unable to have kids. But he has never seen her as weak and sick as she was last night. It was terrifying to him.

“Last night… wasn’t normal?” He asks Dr. Darius as he grabs fruit right behind Lio for his own plate.

“Ah, it is hard to tell. I am unsure what her symptoms and the severity of her condition. I also do not specialize in that area. But in general, no. It’s not normal. She should be following up with her doctor after an episode this severe.”

“Is this like a once a month thing?”

“Lio, I think these questions need to be answered by Savannah. Talk to her. Listen. Offer support where you can.” Lio sighs, ultimately agreeing.

“Thanks again, Doc. For everything. Last night included.”

“Yes, please tell Savannah I will be coming up to see her later.”

“Will do.” Lio nods, then heads towards the doors, away from where his teammates are huddling together at various tables. Usually, Lio would sit down and shoot the shit, especially with a quick turn around from the game. But not today.

“Meier, where ya going?” Beckett hollers to him.

“He’s got a hot date.” Tony snickers.

“A lil breakfast in bed?!” Carter joins in.

The three rookies shut up and swallow hard at the glare Lio is throwing them. Lio doesn’t need to say any words; his message was delivered loud and clear. Lio carefully balances the two plates in his hands as he works the key card out of his pocket. He pushes the door open, looking around the corner to see Savannah up on her phone.

“Oh, hi. I was just texting you.” She yawns.

“Sorry, you were out when I left. Should have texted you.”

“It’s okay.” She smiles. She still looks exhausted and weak. Lio frowns back at her, even as she hopes for a smile from him.

“Good morning.” He says, dropping a kiss on her lips as he places her plate in her lap. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.” She sighs. “The drugs last night really helped.”

“Are you still… bleeding bad?”

“It’s manageable.” Savannah says. The way she drops her gaze has Lio unsure if she is being truthful.

“Is it?” He asks, gripping her chin so she has to look at him.

“Yes.” She says, unwavering this time. Lio gently combs his fingers through the sides of her hair. He had pulled her braid apart for her last night before bed and her blonde locks are wild and wavy around her face.

“Good.” He murmurs, then leans down for one more kiss. He lingers there, needing her lips on his more than the coffee in his hand. Savannah watches him after he pulls away and climbs onto the bed next to her.

“I’m sorry if last night scared you. I didn’t mean for that.”

“Baby, you were going through it.” Lio shakes his head, unwrapping his breakfast burrito. “No need to apologize. That’s what I’m here for.”

“You had a good game.” She tries to change the subject. Lio shrugs.

“Yeah, it was decent.”

“Playing Luca tonight will be fun.”

“Yeah.” He says after swallowing his first bite of eggs, cheese and sausage. “Wish the back to back had been Kings first then the Ducks so we could have spent time with him and Liv.”

“That would be nice.”

Silence settles over the room as the two of them start to eat. Lio tries to pretend it is comforting silence, but it isn’t. He doesn’t want to push his girlfriend, but at the same time, he doesn’t understand how she is sitting here like last night was… normal. A worried shake rolls through Lio’s body at the thought. He looks over at her again as he finishes up the final bite of his burrito.

“I would like to talk about last night.” Savannah slowly chews on a piece of pineapple. She grabs her coffee, taking a sip, then sighing heavily.

“Okay.”

“You don’t want to?”

“No, I do. I know I’ve been putting this off.” Lio watches as she puts her plate on the bedside table. He contemplates for a moment, wondering what to even say next. His fingers find hers in her lap, lacing together as they share a look.

“I’m not trying to force you into telling me things you don’t want to. I only want to support you. But I can’t if I don’t know what we are facing, babe.”

“I know.” She reaches over, cupping this neck, rubbing her thumb across his jaw. ��I love that about you. That you’re asking and curious and… scared for me.” She whispers the last part, eyes brushing over his lips.

“It’s hard not to be after last night. I’ve never… seen or I guess noticed this with you from before?”

“It wasn’t like this before.” She answers, still watching his mouth. Her blue eyes meet his. “It’s gotten a lot worse the last year. I had to end my Europe trip early last summer because of it.”

“I don’t really understand what you have, babe.” Lio shakes his head.

“I have endometriosis. It’s been in my family for generations. My mom has it. My aunt has it. My grandma had it. My two female cousins have it. And I have it too.” She shrugs. “It is abnormal tissue that grows in places it shouldn’t. It can completely enclose ovaries and fallopian tubes and implant deep into your uterus, getting worse with every period that you have.”

“Tissue?” Lio says, surprised. He was almost expecting like lumps or something after what happened last night. “But that isn’t what they said last night.”

“Yeah, so last night I have an ovarian cyst, which can be more common with conditions like Endo. I’m lucky to have multiple issues.”

“Okay… so what have you tried for treatment?”

“Um, everything. Including surgery.” Savannah shrugs, pulling her hand away from his. Lio chases her as she pulls away, sliding his hand to her thighs to grip it comfortingly. “I had surgery three years ago to remove a bunch of tissue and lumps called fibroids in my uterus because I was in the ER every two weeks from how bad the pain was. It helped for a while. We found a good birth control pill that helped calm down the growth of the tissue, but my doctor told me there was always a possibility it would grow back.” She sighs, whimpering slightly. “And it’s back.”

“Baby, we gotta go see someone else when we get home. You can’t have nights like last night every two weeks. It’s not good for you and how are you gonna work? You’ve worked so hard to get here.” His voice waivers at the end. He clears his throat, licking his lips. “Let’s work with the team to find a new doctor for you, okay?”

“Lee, I don’t want you to use who you are for me.” She furrows her eyebrows.

“Babe, I do. I want to use my name and my status and the team to get you the best doctors on the East Coast. And I’m gonna do it. But I need your blessing cause HIPPA or some shit.” He squeezes her hand. “Please, let me do this for you. There is better out there for you and we are going to find it. Get you some longer term solutions than a few years, okay?”

“I am willing to try, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up, okay? If they tell me the same things…” She trails off. Suddenly, she looks way, towards the window, her bottom lip quivering beneath her top teeth where she has tucked it into her mouth. Lio brushes her hair back behind her ear.

“You’re so brave, baby. I’m so proud of you and in awe of what you’ve been living through.” He whispers, rubbing her cheek. He leans forward, placing his lips there and kissing his way to her mouth. His tongue glides along the seam of her lips, urging her to open them so he can have his way with her tongue. Savannah whimpers into his mouth, running her hands up his chest to grip his shoulders.

“Lee.” She whispers when they pull away.

“Hm?” He rests his forehead against hers.

“My condition means it is extremely unlikely I can ever get pregnant. And… you should know that about me before we go any further down this road.”

“I know. You told me in Switzerland. I also told you I didn’t want kids.”

“Yeah, but that was before we were… this.” Her eyes stay down towards the bed, unable to reach his even as he pulls away to try and see her fully. She rubs the comforter between her fingers in both hands. Tear drops hit the bed on either side of her hands. Lio can see the pain in her body even as she tries to hide it from him.

“Sav.” She shakes her head. A shakey breath is inhaled then a sob wretches out of her throat.“Baby look at me.” He reaches for her hand, lacing their fingers together. Savannah is crying, silent tears falling down her face as her bottom lip trembles so hard.

“I can’t.” Lio maneuvers himself to his side, then drops his head onto her hands still fiddling with the comforter in her lap. Two of her tears hit his face as they drop off her chin.

“I love you.” He pauses, letting those words hang where they must between their bodies. “All of you. Your whole body and soul and spirit, baby. And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Lee, if you want babies you should find someone who can give you that. This isn’t fair to you.” Her voice shakes as she sobs the words out to him. Her eyes screw shut. Lio’s heart churns in sync with her pain.

“Savannah, trust me, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay. I’m broken. You deserve-“

“You are not broken.” His voice is gentle, almost a silent whisper to match the tone of her voice. His hands hold both of her cheeks now, keeping her from collapsing backwards and away from him. She grips his wrists. Snot collects in bubbles out of both of her nostrils. Tears stain her pale cheeks as Lio’s heart shatters in his chest for her. “You are whole, exactly as you are right now.” She shakes her head no.

“What man wants a woman like this?”

“A real one.” He responds, then pushes up so he can kiss any remaining doubt from her lips.

#lio x savannah #Lio & Lucie #hockey fan fiction #NHL imagine

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king-midas-fortnite · 5 months ago

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Hello. I assume there is little need for introduction, but I am Midas. I've recently returned from a brief..."sabbatical", shall we call it, in the Underworld.

My daughter, Jules thought it would be a good idea to keep a blog. Not sure why. Something about venting feelings, connecting with other people not in my crew, etc. Not exactly things I find very high priority, but I suppose it can't kill me. I'd know better than anyone what can, after all. And perhaps it'll make keeping tabs on people of interest easier...

Feel free to reach out, if you wish. Message me, tag me, whatever the case may be. I'll do my best to be active here. Whatever it takes to make my daughter happy. However, I am a busy man. Apologies if I miss anything.

((Keep reading for rules and notes!))

--------------------------------------------------

Rules and guidelines for interacting!

1. This blog is run by an adult. I am 26, my main is @snippydippy. Please keep this in mind when interacting with me. I ask that minors please consider a different Midas.

I will use (()) to indicate when I'm speaking out of character in any posts!

2. I don't mind NSFW content myself, but may not answer questions or reblog content pertaining to sexually explicit topics to keep things relatively appropriate.

3. This blog may contain ship content, it may not. I have ships I like, they may not be the ones you do. While my version of Midas is cis, he's not straight (bi king). If this bothers you, I don't know what to tell you.

4. My DMs and asks will always be open! Please don't be shy, Midas won't bite. I'm down to RP in the reblogs with anyone! However, DM roleplays for other adults only, please.

5. This blog will always be skewed towards a more serious vibe. I take my characterization of Midas very seriously (more so than I probably should for a FN character lol). You won't find much in the way of him being a silly guy. Even if I find it funny, if I don't think a situation would be in character for my version of him, it won't happen.

That's it as far as my rules go aside from the obvious "don't be a dick" sentiments that I feel I shouldn't have to say. Thank you for reading them! Next are just a couple notes on my headcanons for Midas.

-Midas has some control over his Golden Touch. I think of the curse in a way that is similar to chronic pains. Some days, it is manageable, and he can touch whatever he'd like without issue. Some days, it is bad. He has to avoid people, can't eat, and struggles getting through mundane tasks without frustration.

I believe his curse may also be in part tied to his emotions. Any intense anger, sadness, or other strong feelings will make it harder to control the Touch, and it does cause him some amount of pain when it's out of control. (Doing mental gymnastics to explain why Fortnite itself isn't consistent with his power.)

-Jules means everything to Midas. He will do absolutely anything in his power to keep his daughter safe and to keep his relationship with her in good standing. He's wronged her in the past, and is doing all he can to make up for those actions and lost time.

-His time in the underworld changed him a bit. He's less cold to the people close to him. He allows more feeling than pure calculation into his thought processes, but a stranger may not be able to tell. Midas is a relatively closed off man. He does not wear his emotions on his sleeve, and doesn't often make friends without some kind of benefit to be had from the relationship. Be it power or connections. However, the friendships he does have mean a great deal to him. He is quick to provide aid in any way he can to those he cares about.

Another thing about his imprisonment in Hell: Time in the underworld was experienced differently. While we may have waited four years for Midas to return, for him it was much, much longer. Now that he is back, he is determined to never be put in chains ever again.

-My version of him obviously has not left the island after returning from the underworld, instead opting to stay as his curiosity for how things have changed has gotten the better of him. He wants to keep up with the power struggles, and find a way to insert himself back into them.

This blog is semi-independent! Some lore is shared with @perseus-ihatemydad-fortnite in that he helped Midas escape from the Underworld. As well as most often being seen interacting with @kado-fortnite and @valeria-fortnite

Tags I'll use!

#Midas Answers -For asks answered in character

#Midas Posts -For interactions in character

#Gold Reserves -In-character reblogs of art, aesthetic posts, etc.

#Gold Encounter -For interactions between other characters that are meant to be read as happening in-person/privately

#Journal Entries - For uh. For Journal Entries lol. These are, in a meta sense, private to him. They are for interactions that happen on the Discord server rather than Tumblr for reader convenience.

- 👑 for anon messages

#Shut your trap snippy -For posts like these that include me talking OOC (I know, long tag. It's just what I've been using on my main blog for years to tag my own garbage lol)

Screenshot in this post and my header are from @corvidazed 💛

Thank you for getting all the way down here! I hope our interactions are fun!

#fortnite rp #shut your trap snippy #midas #midas fortnite #roleplay #i havent had an rp account in a while #i am excited to start this one

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bitter-limelight · 11 months ago

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Time to sound like a cranky old person but,

I am begging gen Z to understand that you live in reality. Begging.

I work management in a job that attracts a lot of teens and young 20 somethings. It's an expected first job, not super hard, not super busy, but more involved than stocking shelves or bagging groceries. And I get some great kids once in a while, some young adults who are learning how to adult.

But I get more kids who are coming out of a post COVID terminally online cocoon who have never been given a realistic image of the world outside their Tik Tok screen and it's horrifying.

I routinely have kids who call out at least once a week because they're stressed, they're anxious, they don't feel good, they overslept, they stayed up too late (note that this is after I try to teach them that they do not need to tell their employer why they are calling out and that it's in their best interest to not share personal or medical information that can be used against them but they think saying they're sick will be a get out of work free card). I've had more than one employee who I find sitting on the floor in front of the customer area because they're tired or "just chilling". Several who tell me after they've been hired that they can't work mornings, can't work evenings, can't work more than 5 hours days or more than 3 days in a row. I've had several talk to me about how they need to prioritize their mental health and take a self care day today, and tomorrow, and two days next week.

And I'm WORRIED for these kids, because the thing is, they are right that capitalism is a soul crusher, that we are overworked, that we are expected to give too much, that we deserve better hours and better pay, that our mental health needs to be our priority. These are all true things, but they think they can step out of mom and dad's house and into a world where they will be given these things and that's just...not the world we live in.

When I get a new hire I tell them about what is expected of them, they sign papers about hours and call outs and attendence and how they can be fired for not following this (I have no power to hire or fire I just manage them at their work). And still I have 22 year olds crying at me in the bathroom because they got fired for calling out 13 days in a month. I have kids who don't understand why they can't just stand there on their phone "vibing." That they should be exempt from talking to customers because they have social anxiety and have to accommodate them (this is a customer service job, there is no accommodations for not interacting with customers ) "They can't fire me for being sick!" But they can. "They can't fire me, I'm disabled and need these accomodations!" But they can, because nobody ever taught you what a reasonable accomodation is. "But we have a union!" A union can't help you after you've been written up four times.

I try to be a good first job and first boss. You need an extra break? Sure, go grab a snack. A customer yelled at you? I'll handle it, go cool off then we will talk about what to do next time. If you have an emergency, talk to me, you can probably leave early. I try to be a buffer between these young people and the corporate machine above me, meeting them where they are while trying bridge the gap between their ideals and the reality they're facing. And I still have employees who quit, telling me they're over worked and this or that is illegal (it isn't, it's just unfair) and they're gonna go find a job where they're appreciated, only to come back a few months later and ask for their job back because everywhere else sucked too.

But sorry. You didn't put in your two weeks like I told you to so now you're non rehireable and banned from ever working at this brand again.

I admire Gen Z's desire for something better. I'm not here to be a corporate bootlicker. I'm here as someone who needs to work my ass off to make ends meet. I'm disabled, my options are limited. I've been fired for my disability, which is legal cause you can't prove that's why and do you have the money for a lawyer to fight them? I don't. I play the game, I get by, and I'm just honestly really worried for these kids who have big dreams of a better world but no idea how to get by in the one they are in. You gotta eat, you gotta pay rent, you gotta have heat and power and water. You have to survive while you work on a world where you can thrive.

This isn't "gen Z lazy, gen Z stupid, Gen z bad", this is gen Z, especially working class gen Z, disabled gen Z and queer gen Z is gonna be totally fucked if they don't learn some entry level work skills and how to not get fired from Costco

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phenomenalgirl9 · 1 year ago

Text

Namjoon x Reader: Ghost of You

⚠️ Warning: This is just despair and goes spiralling down. Major character death, indication of bad mental health, depression and suicide. Read at your own discretion.

Summary: He thought you were doing well. Maybe he was too busy to see through the facade you built for the world, or maybe you were too good at doing it.

A/n: This is just a coping mechanism of the blow to the heart that I received today.

W/c: 2.1k

_____________________________________

"Young blood thinks there's always tomorrow"

The songs resonated through the little mikrokosmos speaker that Namjoon had bought the mood light set to the specific light that you loved. He sat on your high back chair that you always sit on, smiling at the ceiling watching the lights move. He closed his eyes..

_____________________________________

10 months Ago

There you were sitting on the bed hair messy, your specs rested right on the bridge of your nose. You intently looked at the screen eyebrows in a frown. "Hey baby" Namjoon cooed, but there was no response, as he walked closer he realised why, he noticed the little bobs of your head as music played through your airpods. He slowly walked behind you and hugged your back. "Fuck!" You exclaimed on being startled but immediately eased at the familiar feeling and the warmth creeping onto you from him. "How long were you here?" You asked him, pulling out one of the earbuds. "Not that long" he said, pulling you into him, you turned yourself in an angle so that you could rest your head on his chest.

"How much longer would you need?" He asked. "Not much, just 20 minutes and I'll be done" you said. "Then complete it, I'll order some food and set up the couch and we can watch a movie" he said and you nodded.

_____________________________________

8 months ago

"You look tired, aren't you sleeping well?" He asked when you yawn for the 4th time in the past 5 minutes. "No, I just had a lot of work to do, it's okay I'll catch some sleep later, you'll spend the night at the studio right?" You said pouting. And he nodded, "Yoongi hyung said we'll need to complete the tracks today itself". "It's okay baby" you said, snuggling further into him. "I'll be busy for the next week too" he said "If we could just you know-" he stopped in the mid way, you knew what he was talking about. "I've told you Joon, that we can't move in yet, you still stay at the dorm. You do know that my sister and Yuki both come to my house often, what will I tell them if we move in? I can't hide your existence from your house" you scolded him and it's his turn to pout. You and Namjoon have been in a relationship since the past 3 years, and it was strictly prohibited by the company that Nobody, not even your friends or family could know. So half of your friends think this whole boyfriend may be made up, and the rest suspect you are dating a ghost. But, you didn't mind as long as you had Namjoon by your side. The only down hill was that Namjoon wanted you to move in with him, but you couldn't because it would complicate things. That was the last thing you wanted to happen between Namjoon and you.

_____________________________________

6 months ago

You were startled by a knock on your door, you looked at the time and it was 11:00pm. You splashed your face with water and were wiping it, while contemplating if you should open the door at this hour. That was when you received a text from Namjoon to open the door and you realised it was your boyfriend at the door.

You opened the door and he walked in and hugged you, placing a kiss on your lips and forehead. "I thought it was some creep knocking on my door at 11 at night" you joked and he hugged you tighter. "Tired?" You asked and he groaned. He has been promoting and practicing non-stop for the next BTS world tour. The tour's gonna be bigger this time round. "I wish you could just come with me" he groaned again into your shoulder. "I wish I could but I can't, I can't explain to my mom why I will be touring the world for 3 months with this boyfriend whom she hasn't even seen" you laughed, patting his head. And he held you tighter.

_____________________________________

4 months ago

"Are you sure you're okay?" Namjoon asked and you nodded. "Yeah Joon, I just don't want to go out" you said, and he nodded his head in understanding. "It's okay, let's order in" he said and sighed as you cuddled deeper into him.

_____________________________________

Another day 4 months ago

"Did you eat lunch?" He asked through the phone, "yeah~" you said. The tone seemed different, and Namjoon knew you were lying. "Y/n?" He called your name and you knew you were caught. You could never lie to him. "I wasn't that hungry, I'll eat something in a bit" you promised.

_____________________________________

3 months ago

"I'm always a call away" he said and kissed your forehead. He was on his way to the airport but he made a quick stop at your place. You nodded and sniffed trying to keep the tears at bay. "Eat well and sleep well" he said and you nodded. "You too, take care and don't overwork yourself" you said "take care of the boys as well" you said as the two of you kissed. Him leaving for tours has been a common thing by now, but this time it all felt too difficult. He just couldn't bring himself to let you go. "Joon? Your phone is ringing" you said, and pulled it out to see Jin's name flashing. "You have to go," you said, almost snatching the words from his mouth. He nodded, he kissed you for the last time and hugged you tight.

"I'll see you the moment I get back, okay?" He said. And you nodded and waved him bye.

_____________________________________

2 weeks into the tour

Namjoon has never regretted anything in his life as much as his decisions. He couldn't shake off this feeling that something is wrong back there, with you. You've been so out of it recently. Barely answering his calls, you've been avoiding his video calls with various excuses and he keeps feeling this dread.

"Maybe you're overthinking?" Hoseok suggested and Namjoon shrugged. "I hope so," Namjoon said. "Try to call her often, if she doesn't want to video call try to get her on it but don't force her give her time" Yoongi said. Yeah, only BTS themselves were acquainted with you. They are all concerned because they all knew you, growing up with troubles you've always had lots of struggles. But with the help of your surroundings and Namjoon you were doing much better.

Namjoon just regretted leaving you alone back there, he wished he would have tried to make some arrangement with the company to bring you on tour. It didn't help that he missed you like crazy.

_____________________________________

3 weeks into tour

"Finally, you accepted my video call," he said, and you smiled. "I miss you, I've been really busy, I barely had time" you said, "I miss you too, are you wearing make-up?" He asked. You nodded and said "I'm going out with Yuri, she'll be here soon" you said and smiled. "At Least you found some time to show me your face," he said, showing his dimples. "I wanted to say that I love you Joon, so so much and you must take care of yourself and don't worry, okay. Everything will be fine. I love you" you said. "I love you too, babe. Please take care" he said. "Yuri must almost be here. I'll hang up, take care. Always remember I am always with you, I love you, Kim Namjoon" you said and waved and hung up. Namjoon felt glad to finally see you but your words were stuck in his mind.

The next day he texted you and waited for your text, which never came. He thought you were probably out till late and slept, or tired or busy.

"She must just be busy, she'll surely reply to you" Hoseok assured him. Even Namjoon himself was dead tired, doing shows in different cities and more schedules.

_____________________________________

2 months ago (2nd week)

It's been a week since he last spoke to you or even got the time to text you. He's been on schedules and concerts non-stop. Now when he realised, he felt extremely guilty. You didn't pick up his calls or reply to his texts, maybe you were angry. He will make it up to you for sure, once he goes back.

"I need more time, but time can't be borrowed"

_____________________________________

2 months ago (3rd week)

"It's been more than a week hyung. She still hasn't replied" he said. "She's probably angry and busy" Jin said and shrugged. "It's fine, don't you have anybody else's number?" Hoseok asked gulping his sprite and Namjoon shook his head a No. "You dated for 3 years and you don't have any of her friend's or family's number?" Jimin asked in shock. "Nobody was supposed to know, so she never told anyone. And I never got the chance. The only people who know are the pr team, Hitman Bang and you guys" he said and they all frowned.

_____________________________________

2 months ago (4th week)

Still no reply.

Your only social media, Instagram, had no activity. Namjoon was now desperate, he even asked Hitman Bang to send someone to your flat but your neighbor said, they haven't seen you in days and your apartment was locked from outside.

Namjoon kept trying to contact you, but to No avail. He has to wait 2 more weeks until he can reach Korea. He'll first go home, he remembered he had a package from you once and you sent it from you home, it might have your address if he can find the box. He'll immediately go to find you, it was his (and even the rest of BTS who promised to help him) topmost mission.

_____________________________________

1 month ago

He reached the dorm, and checked he had mail. One box caught his eye and he picked it.

"To Joon" the box said and he knew the handwriting like second nature. He dropped his bags as the other members piled in and went to their respective rooms. Namjoon dropped his bags and rushed to his room. He ripped the package open, it had your favourite plushie inside it and a journal, your old journal that you had stopped writing for a while, or so he thought. Dread filled every sense of his and overflowed. His hands shook as he picked the notebook and found a page marked, tears brimming his eyes, as he read page after page of entries. The page was marked at 6 months ago, the previous ones were much much older. The words crushed him, how he failed to notice all the pressure that was piling up on you. How he failed to notice the tears that you hid from him, the sleepless nights you passed up saying you were working. The spiral you tried so hard to come out of slowly pulling you back into it. All the small triggers that added on and on until you were back to square one. But this time around you hid all of it.

He dropped on the ground when he realised how his absence overweighed on all those pressure. The self doubt and hate you were goin through. Your pain. The last page has one entry, "don't tell them, it won't do any good. And don't even dare to blame yourself. THIS is all on me."

As if on cue Hoseok rushed into the room with his tablet a news article in hand, he noticed the notebook, the plushie and Namjoon tear filled eyes on the ground. "Oh no Namjoona, I'm so sorry" he said and hugged his mate.

Namjoon shook his head and read the article it was almost 1 month old, "Y/n L/n a resident of ABC complex, fell from the 15th floor passed away on spot. An investigation was held but upon seeing the fact that she was wearing make up, was well dressed and lack of any sucide note, the case was ruled out as an accident……" he couldn't read anymore. He sobbed out loud in Hoseok's arms.

_____________________________________

The others had pulled some string and found out where you were buried and they all had visited you. They all shed tears that day except Namjoon. He was sad and angry at himself and you. You always tried to take on everything on your own, even though he had told you not to.

He now realised all the hidden messages between the things you said. And what you said, that day.

"Always remember I am always with you, I love you, Kim Namjoon"

_____________________________________

"I know you crossed a bridge that I can't follow"

He opened his eyes as a tear slipped his eye. He glanced at the clock it said 12.00am. "Happy Birthday Y/n" he whispered in the air.

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Masterlist

Taglist: @bbl32 @back2bluesidex @cherryblossom-2004

#imagines #bts x reader #bts #bangtan x reader #namjoon angst #bts angst #bts namjoon #rm angst #kim namjoon #namjoon x reader

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astaralys · 2 years ago

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Update!

heeellooooooo......? 👀

I may have suddenly remembered I have a tumblr. And that I write Frozen fic. except......

oops.

Short story: I have been incredibly busy but well! I'm healthy! I'm still writing and creating! I hope everyone reading this is doing great!!

Long story:

"girl what on earth have you been doing" Career change, moved house, masochistically started a postgrad degree while working full time, working on original story projects when I have time AND AND AND started a two-person creative studio with @lianthuss!! We have a webcomic oneshot releasing in the coming weeks!! More info on that below :D

"are you still working on TNU??" First of all, thank you for sticking around for this story! The fact you enjoy it means so much to me. I know exactly how frustrating it is to be invested in an unfinished story. I have every intention of finishing the fic, and the thought of it still brings me a lot of joy, which is all I need to keep writing. That said, the honest answer is I've been so busy I haven't worked on it for almost a year now. I didn't even remember where I was up to in the next chapter until I opened it and saw 1000 words (that I now want to entirely overwrite 🥲)

"when do you think the fic will be finished?"

Funnily enough, my mental goal was to have TNU finished before Frozen 3 comes out... and I might still make it! There are (I think) 5-7 chapters left to go, so not far. The question is when I'll have time to write. The second question is what else I'm working on - I have a lot of original story ideas in development that motivate me more than TNU right now. TNU is like my fun corner. I pick at it when I miss it, or when I need a change of pace from other projects. I know it might be disappointing to hear TNU isn't my highest priority and truly appreciate every reader. I do absolutely plan to keep writing this fic, but I'm also having so much fun with original stories and the new studio. I hope some of you will be interested in supporting this other dimension of my creative pursuits too :)

"so tell us about these other creative pursuits" Why I'm so glad you asked! I actually discovered a passion for game development :O I've only made one little one for my partner so far but I have lots of other game ideas brewing that I'd love to turn into reality and share with the world. I'm especially pulled towards concepts that have compelling narratives (I am a writer hehe) that use gameplay to create a story that can only be told in the game medium. (yes, playing Nier: Automata changed my life and you should play it too) And!! I got into 3D modelling and pixel art! Super fun. Please behold this fat chocobo I modelled and got 3D printed

"how do we keep in touch with you before you come back 7 years later and tell us you're an astronaut now" I go by wiredforwords on twitter and instagram. Also just started up a ko-fi if you'd like to support me. Someday soon I'm going to share some free pixel emotes and other updates on there!

nice! now what's this about a studio? and webcomic??

why, I'm so glad you asked!

STUDIO POINT9 is mine and @lianthuss' new baby. It's where we work on and produce our original stories. Our first project is MIDNIGHT HOUR, a oneshot webcomic based on a moment in a larger sci-fi fantasy epic (which will be a webcomic series in the future!) I wrote a 2k oneshot on a whim and lianthuss brought it to life with her incredible storyboarding and art. Coming super duper soon! As in WITHIN ONE MONTH soon!!

We have big plans for STUDIO POINT9 and appreciate any support! You can follow us on twitter and instagram (@studio.point9). Cool website to come!

I'll try to be more active here and not forget tumblr exists. Might be TNU related. Might be random pixel art. Might be studio updates. Might be martians.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for enjoying my stories!!

#i came in like a wrecking ball #writing #life update #frozen fanfic #my god I forgot how to use tags #game dev kinda #webcomic #nvm i give up #ty for reading

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getitoffyourchestofficial · 1 year ago

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hi this is a lot im sorry. i love to say words and dump shit that upsets me with no real correlation. my bad /gen (genuine) (idk if you know tone indicators im sorry ough)

you dont really Have to cook up a proper response to this i just need to put it somewhere where i wont immediately get piles of advice that i cant use. i know its well-meaning but ultimately the whole situation is ou of anyones control

(also putting this 🎪 here so i can try to find it later)

im stuck in a sisyphean nightmare of a weekly cycle: i have a good day -> my mood skyrockets -> i have a bad day -> my mood plummets -> rinse and repeat. at this point i think it might be a mental condition bc something doesnt even really have to Ruin My Day, i just have to face a minor inconvenience and then suddenly im all doom-and-gloom depression for 3-5 business days before springing back up as if nothing ever happened to do it all again. my mom says i might have bpd or bipolar disorder (i always get the two confused) because she has it and we just havent seen anyone about it, mostly because we dont have the money to see any doctors most of the time. i also kinda dont wanna have either of them? not in like an asshole way but in a these-people-face-stigma-that-i-dont-know-if-i-can-emotionally-handle way. in a im already queer and fat and poor and disabled in multipled ways and overall unsavory to neurotypicals/cishets/Default Settings way. yknow

todays inciting incident was a shitty shitty halloween carnival that didnt even have the thing i was excited for, didnt have any food, had lines that were miles long (hyperbole), was too hot, and i only got 8 shitty halloween things from -- half of which were lollipops, with half of those just being the same 2 flavors but Again. we stayed for 2 hours before my mom decided she didnt wanna be out of the house anymore as usual. i cant be too mad at her because shes mentally ill in the direction of "i dont want to go anywhere because my anxiety will spike" but unfortunately im mentally ill in the direction of "if i cannot leave the house to Do Things at my own pace at least once a week i will fall into a deep depression" so we clash pretty bad most of the time. this was also following multiple minor inconveniences mind you. and was also trailed by multiple minor inconveniences. it just has not gone well. this halloween is just shaping up to suck bc i was supposed to have a whole party but we had money issues so it had to be cut down to just 2 people for a sleepover, then one of them went out to see his grandma in another state and the other is apparently in the fucking hospital right now??? at least according to his posts. and i cant blame them for these either! schedules conflict and sometimes you go to the Fuckig Hosital. its out of anyones control but it still feels like shit. so its looking like my only shot at having any fun this halloween is the trunk-or-treat at my school and idk if im even allowed to go bc i had to drop out for mental health reasons and they told me i wasnt allowed on school grounds anymore. idk if that applies here. which btw. way to make a depressed kid feel worse. you can NEVER come to this high school again or we'll ARREST YOU. fuckin bullshit. BUT thats off topic the synopsis is that this halloween sucks so far and i dont really expect it to get better which extra sucks bc im turning 18 next year and i dont wanna let this be the last hurrah for my number one favorite holiday. i cant host fucking parties for my friends after then. im gonna be busy trying to fuck off to the other end of the country. i wont have TIME for it. idk. it sucks. this sucks. fuck art and fuck you /ref (reference) /nbh (nobody here)

Ik you don't want advice for this so I'll just put it on the blog.

And idk if you want it but here's a tea

☕

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beinfriends · 2 years ago

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( Alright, pretty sure I've basically collected everybody in the Mother RPC at this point, so looks like it's time for me to say... hello! I'm Rabbit, or better known as Psy in this community (which you can see I continue to go by... because I am too fucking lazy to redo my promo assets. But I still really do just use Psy still.), and I was in the Mother RPC previously from 2018-2021 (I think? or 2020, I don't really remember) and wound up leaving due to mental health reasons, but recently I randomly got the urge to come back, so here I am with a remade blog. I was previously twinsmily, pigmonarch/allhailkingp, and beinfriends, a blog I have since moved from in order to make this blog.

I've added a lot of muses since the previous iteration of this blog. I feel like I should warn people, even if you knew me prior to rejoining (i.e. Neg and Star. hi btw) that my muse priorities have shifted quite a bit, although Lucas/Claus/Porky are still main muses for me. I replayed Mother 3 last June and got really into the Tazmily villagers for some reason, hence why I added all of them to my muse roster. If you remember the original version of this blog, my list was like <10 muses. We're at 50 now, and I didn't even list everybody.

As to why this even happened... I was playing chapter 3 and read Paul's text during the scene where Fassad tries to get everyone to pick up Happy Boxes and he said "I don't need happiness. It's standing right next to me." and I just really admired his wifeguy-ness... I thought that was so cute, since I'd never really thought about him before. And then my brain decided I liked literally all of them so here we are.

As mentioned in my rules, I did recommend the worldbuilding page + considering reading my fic recs per each character, but overall, I feel I should plug this directly. If you're interested in seeing the Tazmily that I have built in excruciating detail, consider giving A Change of Heart a read. The fic is about Leder telling everyone the truth about their past and everyone being forced to reckon with their trauma and memories.

Up front, it's 200,000 words. But it's a fic I wrote over the course of 5 months last year and is a huge basis for how my Tazmily now functions. The main verse of this blog is directly tied to this fic. Per my timeline, the final events of ACOH concluded one year prior to the events of this blog. BUT it's okay, I do not expect you to know all this shit. I will tell you things as necessary, I just thought I could cut out the middleman a bit is all.

What do you need to know about the default universe of this blog? Here's a few simple things to make it clearer:

The events of Mother 3 concluded 4 years ago.

ALL Tazmily villagers have regained their full memories of the past. The story is generally gone, though people didn't abandon their roles/jobs.

Tazmily has been rebuilt in the old style, but the world is a mix of old and new; people still use DP, but bartering has come back in a major way in terms of doing business.

There are multiple new settlements to account for all the New Porkers.

In all, it's pretty simple, but again, highly recommend you check out my worldbuilding page for a more in-depth rundown of the world, but still shorter than a 200,000 word fic lol. I still have some stuff I wanna add, but I got a lot of it done yesterday.

Also, I have a lot of posts queued from my personal about villager lines, or edits I made, so on, so expect to see those posts in the coming days. I have chronicled a vast majority of lines you can possibly see the villagers say. I got plenty o' lines you've probably never seen. There's only a handful of lines I cannot find, and am assuming went unused. So yeah, enjoy that!! It'll be your crash course on the villagers if you, like everybody (including past me), know very little about the villagers. I look forward to it.

This blog may or may not wind up being low activity, but it remains to be seen. I start my new job today, so I'll see how the work-life balance is. Bios are still a WIP. As I said yesterday, I have 19/50 completed. I will hopefully do the secondary bio batch soon, but probably not today, and probably not tomorrow, because work. But everyone in the main tier has a bio, so check 'em out!

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope I get to know all of you better in the coming days and weeks! Starter call will come after this post for everyone. See ya soon! )

#Rabbit Ramblings [OOC]

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mysteriouslybluepirate · 2 years ago

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Doom post

At the end of this is a picture of my cat, so if you wanna just skip to that, feel free. She's great, healthy, etc.

Don't read if you're already anxious, in a bad place in life, are directionless etc.. I'm ranting about life stuff, so you know yourself best. If you want to read and are feeling shitty, just wait.

It's winter here in the US. If you are reading this past 4 in the afternoon, you're probably not happy.

So there's this new AI coming up, it allows people to put in a prompt, and essentially ask an ai to write it. This works from anything from school essays, to basic medical diagnoses(enough to tell a person to go to the hospital), to correcting computer code. For the next few years this will be an uphill battle.

I'm just going to ask this now, as a person who is mentally ill and it's hard to hold down a serious job. I can't work or live at a deficit.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with my life?

(For context I'm officially diagnosed with: ADHD, Bipolar Disorder 1 with psychotic features, Depression, and Generalized Anxiety disorder)

After 3 degree changes I wanted to go into English teaching, but that whole landscape will change. Why would a 12-year-old write an essay when they can use this program. In the US, our long-form essay-based classes need to change. Plus, I'm a lesbian with a wonkey gender presentation on a given day that lives in a red state. I'm already not safe, I'm not going to be poorer than now and in dept as a teacher. So that's a no.

I'm in a 10k-people dying retirement town 6 hours away from a 100k-people city. I've already worked most jobs locally and was either let go of or quit due to my being part-time due to college. Got gently let go of from Walmart cause they were getting rid of part-time night stockers. All these jobs were manual labor, no office jobs, no 'lazy' jobs that respect my free time. They don't exist here.

I've tried nursing school, computer science, and engineering as degrees. Around 40-50 credits for nothing. Nothing kept me hooked, I had to be uber-medicated for my ADHD to stay going. I was able to get through high school cause I hated myself and punished myself whenever I was underperforming. I'm to tired to do that right now.

As for jobs-

Retail killed me, I worked WalMart for a year, and another local family owned business for four months before giving up. Unless forced to, I won't be returning.

I've tried Railroad (very male-dominated work environments); it's a trade. I wanted to die, mostly 40-year-old men looking at a 5'9 twig and deciding that's enough of a joke to grab onto for a bit. Not to mention all the touching. That's all there is here, besides specializing in another trade, where I could just get treated as badly. Nursing (where I'll be harassed with a smile on my face like my mother) or fitting in with a red town.

My therapist tells me to 'just go into computer science'. She's one of those people that are convinced that anyone can get a degree and find a good job. She ignores me when I tell her how my ADHD makes it hard to focus on tasks. I just need to 'power through it' and It'll work out in the end.

Oh! And Comp Sci is expected to have an influx of people over the next 5 years at entry-level positions due to the pandemic. No one in my family actually believes me when I tell them this, but I'd be fucked after I graduate. It will be impossible to find work with just a degree. I can't afford to leave for an internship that could cinch me a job.

I can't leave. I can't afford to leave. I'm 20, 21 next month, with no friends whatsoever as I hop around in life. All my coworkers are bigots, rude, or high schoolers, leaving me feeling more alone. I'm stuck in a $ 13-an-hour dead-end part-time job, and don't see an out.

If I left town for college, the only affordable housing is my family in the state I live in. So if I specialize I'll just be at ground zero if I'm forced to flee back to home.

I'm not the fun type of mentally ill that's gotten obsessed with something capitalism can call helpful. I obsess over a pirate show for 6 months, and spend most of my days tired and zoned out. I've tried to be hopeful and find a career that suits me. In every single degree I've looked into that isn't too heavily math-based (adhd) or social-based (probably autism, but no one here is qualified for AFAB people) is going downhill. I don't want to be here for this shit anymore.

Obviously, I've got stuff to keep me alive as concerning as this post sounds. I needed to rant, I'm probably in an episode, and if I was that badly off, I wouldn't be posting online. At the very least I have OFMD s2/s3 to look forward to, and household are kind enough not to point out how much of a dead weight I am.

I've got shitty meds that don't work, and a therapist who didn't know gay people could get married...so there's that.

I can't figure out how to verify this account. I've tried, but I can't see private messages. Reblog/comment if you want to talk. But IDK.

Cat photo reward for making it this far. Her name is Polly. She says hi.

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sanityshorror · 2 years ago

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Hi! It's the person with France thing again. Thank you for responding. I think u are the first person that was worried about me when I told then what's happening to me. The rest of the ppl(my family and my best friend) either told me I lost my mind and started laughing or they we're like "Omg that's so cool 😍"(my best friend). I'll try to go to a psychiatrist as soon as possible but for sure that's not gonna happend very soon since I have a really busy schedule. But I'm anxious abt going to a psychiatric ward cuz I heard bad things about the one that I have in my city. It's not the first time I'll go to a psychiatric evaluation . Last time they just gave me some pills that made me feel like I was in drugs and I got addicted to them. Thanks for caring again ^^

I'm so glad that you're okay! It's horrible no one has been taking you seriously, especially since these things get worse the longer you go without treatment:/ I have bipolar1-with psychosis, so I understand what is like experiencing these sorts of things.

The good thing about psych wards is that you don't necessarily have to go to the one closest to you. If you're in a stable enough mental place, you can look up ' psychiatric hospitals near me ' and a list will come up, thanks to Google there should be reviews. Keep in mind these places aren't for luxury, so any with a 3/5 star rating is a safe bet. You can check yourself in for an evaluation directly at the psychiatric hospital :)

Medications can be difficult, for certain mental illness they are necessary to function however. Thankfully, there's a wide range of different options, so if you try one but feel the effects are too negative or it's not helping, you can tell your psychiatrist and ask to try a different medication. It took me years to find the right combination of the right medicine, but eventually I did ^-^

Personally I would recommend going to the hospital either tonight or in the morning at the latest, due to - speaking from experience - how psychosis can go from a manageable state to a complete disconnection from reality with no warning within seconds. I'm worried about you and don't want you to wind up accidentally harming yourself or something else bad happening because of a sudden full break from reality. I know it's terrifying to go, but I believe in you, you're very strong and brave for reaching out to someone to begin with, and I know you can take the next step too :) just keep taking deep breaths and drinking water. I won't lie and say the hospital will be fun, but it will keep you safe and you'll have access to professional psychiatric treatment as well as support through therapy 24/7 there. I recommend packing a few books and a lot of comfy clothes in your bag. (I've been in the psych ward before, if you can't tell lol.)

I'm so sorry that no one has been taking you seriously, I really hope that changes. I hope you're able to get the help that you need ASAP. Please know that I care about you, even though I don't know who you are, I do care and want you to be okay. I wish you the best and I'm here for you

/serious /gen

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herstarlitdreams · 11 months ago

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Moving into 2024

2023 was a rough, rough year. Jay and I started out pretty strongly, but by the time June rolled around we were losing steam, and things started to really spiral for us both. Despite this, some good things did happen in the second half of the year, just as some bad things did.

2023, a review

In 2023, I finally started getting treatment again for my mental health. I'm back on my medication, and while I still struggle with taking it every single day, I'm doing much better.

I started writing and drawing again this year! This is super exciting for me, and as we get into 2024, I'll be able to share with you guys some major projects that I'm working on, both independently and as part of collab efforts.

Jay and I were evicted from our home of 5 years. On one hand, this sucked considerably. Jay was so stressed that they ended up in the hospital twice, once for 2 weeks and once for 3, which seriously messed with our finances. One the other hand, the house that we've moved to is in a much more peaceful area, the house itself is larger (though slightly less accessible for Jay), and we don't have mold everywhere, which is nice.

Jay is still recovering from the last hospital visit over a month later. It's been extremely hard on them, and it also means that I haven't been able to do as much as far as unpacking and working, because Jay needs me so much more now than they did before the hospital. This has been posing some minor issues, but we're working on them.

2024, plans for the future

I don't really do the "New Year Resolution" thing. It almost never works out for me, and I have... opinions about the psychology behind it. However, I DO believe in setting goals, and I think that the start of a new year is a great time to set them, because it's the beginning of a new cycle. I'm very into cyclical goal setting and pattern building.

2024 is a presidential election year for the United States, which is where Jay and I unfortunately reside. With everything that's been happening, this year is going to mean some very serious shit for people like us. On top of worrying about other people in the world, Jay and I are likely going to be spending a chunk of this next year fearing for our own rights and safety.

It's my goal in life to live to the fullest. As we move into 2024, what this means for me is continuing my treatment plan, encouraging Jay's recovery and mental health as well. My goals include getting out of the house more often, writing more, and creating more. Ideally, I would like to get my business up and running again, with new branding and business goals.

I'm going to be working on making changes to my daily routine so that I have more time and energy to get things done. As this new routine develops, it's my hope that I'll be able to do more every day, and eventually, I hope that I'll be able to put more of my time and energy into activism. Unfortunately, with my and Jay's health, that part may get delayed. Either way, I will continue to show my support for the things that matter to us in smaller ways, as often as I can.

You can expect more posts from me here, on Twitter, on Bluesky, and on my Ko-Fi page moving forward. I have a lot of things that are just waiting to get worked on, finished, or posted, and I finally have the confidence to do it.

I hope you're all ready for an amazing 2024, because I sure am!

#2024 #my goals

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good-night-space-kid · 1 year ago

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Hi, I am looking to go to a university next year with a STEM major, and I was wondering how you find balance between courses, social life, jobs, and relationships. Or if you have any tips on how to manage these things, if you do, please share because I am worried for college life. Thanks!

Hello, anon! Being a STEM major is hard, but I honestly love my major. I won't sugarcoat it though, it's going to be a lot of work and I myself have a hard time balancing everything.

Disclaimer: I want to make the most of my time as a student and keep myself very busy, other people I know in other and the same STEM majors are significantly less busy so my experience may not be yours.

To start off, I'll outline my general college situation

I'm a geology major, and while many people likely don't know, geology is a very academically challenging and time consuming major. I routinely spend 8-13 hours on a single one of my upper level classes every week, which is why I try to space out the classes that I know will be really difficult.

I'm getting a history minor with a focus on public history to support my major as I want to pursue grad school in museum studies.

I've taken on average 15-20 credits a semester. Don't take over 15, much less 20 credits unless you absolutely have to.

I work during the school year, but not a lot. I am a TA for intro level geology classes and have worked 2-3 labs (~3.5 hours each time) with a TA meeting. In the past I also worked ~9 hours a week in a geology research lab.

I'm now the president of a club which takes ~15 minutes to 1 hour of prep work for each week.

I'm generally away from my dorm from 8am to 5 with classes/work, but often I don't get back until 9-11pm on weekdays because I need physical resources or other people to work on something. I won't lie I kind of hate this part, but I chose a very hands on major. It really varies for me though, sometimes I'm doing homework until 1am and sometimes i'm done by 4pm.

Here are things that I recommend to help balance school and social life (in no particular order):

I do everything I can to ensure that I have one weekend day where I do not plan to work on school work. Sometimes it happens that it's either not possible or I want to get ahead, but I really try to make it happen. This allows me to go to an estate sale, do some grocery shopping, go on a hike, watch a show, whatever I don't have time for during the week. This truly saves my mental health.

Know your sleep needs. I am such a sleepy guy, and if I don't sleep enough my mental and physical health is hot garbage. I prioritize getting 6.5-9 hours of sleep every night because I know that I will be happier and more capable of finishing work faster if I'm well rested.

I have dinner with my non-geology friends once a week, typically Friday evenings. I also try to schedule a meal with another friend at some point in the week when I can. Making time to see people you like purely for fun is really important.

Try to have at least one class that you are genuinely looking forward to each semester. The history minor is good for grad school, but it's also so I have something other than STEM to do each semester so I don't go crazy. Take a class just because it looks like fun, you're in college. And get a minor in something random if you enjoy it.

I have homework friends and I have fun friends, and it's okay (and imo often better) for those to be different people.

Start a group chat and set up study sessions for your classes. My school has a "study buddies" feature on an app where you can sign up and anybody can email out to those people so that's how I've started many of them, but just asking people also works. I study best in a group, but know yourself on this one. I especially recommend finding some people in your major early on for this.

Don't be afraid to use campus tutoring if you need it.

Take a break before going to bed. Read, watch a show, drink a cup of decaf tea, whatever works for you. I try to be done with all of my work by 9pm so I can just chill for a bit and this helps a lot.

Don't take 20 credits a semester, and if you do, don't do it more than one semester back to back.

Join a club, any club. I know that this is very standard advice, but it is actually a good one. I'm in a small major so we have our own club and it's a great way to get to know other majors as well as something to add to your resume/scholarship applications. It's a great way to make friends, and going to a random club is very low stakes because you can always just not go back.

Keep up with a hobby. I have lots of succulents and it brings me great joy to care for them, but I have plenty of other friends who crochet, draw, etc. You just have to have something to do other than school.

Be unapologetically yourself, it's the best way to make friends that you actually want to be around. Also it makes you super cool.

SAY YES. If you are being invited to do something (that you want to do ofc), say yes. People are inviting you because they want you to come. But this also goes for opportunities. If you have the chance to do some research, work in a lab, volunteer for a cool event, whatever it may be, give it a try.

And in a similar vein, invite people to do things with you. It might be awkward at first, but the best way to make friends is to just do things with them. Especially as a freshman because everybody is in the same boat and making friends is hard.

Shameless geology promo, take an intro geology class if you can (they usually fulfill at least one gen ed). They're a good way to learn a bit about the world around you, and the labs are usually very fun and way better than a chemistry or physics lab.

I know this was kind of a lot, but I hope at least some of it helps! Despite having a really full schedule, college has been a lot of fun for me and I've had the opportunity to learn a lot and meet really cool people!

#i hope this helps!!#i truly love geology and have had the chance to do some really cool things through my major #but i know people in a lot of majors who are also doing really cool things #two of my friends (one biotechnology and one computer science) are doing a genetic engineering project and going to a competition in Paris #just as an example #but also other people I know have so much less school work than I do #like my biotech friend has sooooo much free time (but is also unfairly smart)#also summer internships are a great way to work a job you hopefully don't hate and make a lot of money so you can work less during the year #also i don't drink/do drugs because that's just not my thing so that influences my personal school style #also dm me any time I promise I’m friendly #and if you want anything more specific just ask

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arminbitchlover · 4 years ago

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reincarnated lovers (1)

armin arlert x f!reader

summary: in their past life, reader and armin's love journey is cut short with the tragic death of reader from a deadly plague. now, they are once again reunited, but somehow everything feels wrong between them.

word count: 2.5k

content warnings: death

1349

"Armin... it hurts." You dazed off and felt nothing but sharp pains all over your body.

Your throat was dangerously dry, and your stomach grumbled from the lack of food you couldn't properly digest. You suffered from the feeling of a knife being pushed into your lungs and when you tried to pick up your head, black dots overtook your fuzzy vision. Every time you tried to move a muscle, the pain would exponentially heighten, and experienced your abdomen compress with an exorbitant amount of pressure.

"N-no please don't leave me yet. What about all our plans together? Going to the beautiful forest behind the hills for our anniversary next week, building a house to move in together, getting married, a-and start a family..." Armin's voice cracked as tears cascaded down his cheek and dripped onto your arm.

You sensed a soft warm hand grab yours which caused your heartbeat to quicken as you felt it coarse throughout your body.

This is the end.

You knew this was your last few moments on earth with your soulmate. It was over so fast. Too fast. You couldn't believe you wouldn't be able to fill the promises you made with your lover. This was your only and last chance at this life, and it was over in nineteen years, only four of them being spent with the person you thought you would grow old with

"Stay away... get sick..." You jerked your arm away from Armin unaware that you didn't feel the need to chug a gallon of water to quench your throat and that the nauseating feeling from hunger completely vanished as you kept slipping in and out of consciousness.

"Don't do this shit to me right now, I'm staying by your side no matter what." He lightly caressed your face not caring about the black lumps that engrossed your skin.

He knew he would become infected sooner or later and understood that this would be it for you even though he couldn't find it in himself to believe it.

"I-I-I'm sorry." You felt the back of your throat get knotted up but couldn't produce any tears.

You slowly moved your hand back down to your side, not feeling the aching pain that had taken over your body, as you barely brushed his fingertips.

"Baby, what are you apolo... not your fault." He looked down to your palm and intertwined his fingers with your cold limp hand. He trailed his eyes back up to your face and saw your closed eyes.

"Y/n?" His breathing became shallow and irregular as he gently shook your body in an attempt to bring you back to consciousness.

You lightly squeezed his hand with the last bit of energy you had in you; letting him know that you were still with him.

This isn't the last time... swear to you we'll find each other again... I'll... protect you. I lo..."

And that was it.

The last words you heard.

Passing away was more peaceful than you imagined. It was just like going to sleep, except you knew that you wouldn't wake up with Armin by your side.

...we'll find each other again...

His last words kept replaying in your mind before your brain completely shut off. It made you happy. He made you happy. You died happy knowing that there was a chance to meet him again, but who are you kidding, this was it. It's over now.

Right?

Present Day

"I don't know if going on a date is the best thing to do right now, Sasha. I just got out of a three-year relationship with Jean and that was really rough." You grab a bag of chips and plop yourself onto your bed.

"Comeeee onnnnnn, y/n, I think you would really get along with this guy. I mean he's smart and kind anddddddddd has a pretty face!" She walks up to you and quickly steals a chip from you.

"Hey! Well as tempting as your mystery man sounds, my professors decided to assign a shitload of work, so I have to get busy." You pull out the box of textbooks from under your bed as you mentally prepare yourself for a draining weekend.

"Ugh, you're hopeless. Well, I'm going with Niccolo for a while, so have fun with... that! But if you change your mind, I'll text you his number." She grabs a Twinkie and skips out of your dorm room.

You figure that maybe she's somewhat right, but you know it's too soon to go out with another person. You and Jean had been together since high school and only broke up because you agreed that both of you needed time to find yourselves in college. It's very apparent that you still have some type of feelings for him even if it isn't love and it certainly didn't help that he goes to the same school as you.

But it is college. Even though the love you have towards Jean is still slightly there, maybe going out with another person was what you need to get over him. Even then, you wasted all your high school years getting good grades and being an A+ student that you never got to enjoy yourself and you weren't going to mess it up again. Besides what's the worst thing that could happen?

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

Today 5:12 PM

can you send me his number

AHH I KNEW IT

here ya go ;)

contact sent

ur a pain but thank u

you better tell me how it

goes!!

duhh

love u

love you moreee

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

While gazing at the contact, you can't quite explain the feeling you have in your stomach and could only call it excitement, but why?

You're just going out with a guy you've never even met before and for all you know, he could be some creepy perv who just wants to make you feel extremely uncomfortable for his own liking. You giggle to yourself as you keep on thinking of worst-case scenarios and become very aware of how in need you are of getting out of your dorm.

You sit and stare at your phone, wondering how to text someone who may not even remember his conversation about you with Sasha. But fuck it, it was just a date.

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Maybe: Armin Arlert

Today 5:20

hey armin, i'm y/n and i don't

if you recall giving your number

to sasha but she said we would make

a great match so i would love to go

out with you later today !

Hey y/n, I do recall Sasha

talking about you and everything

so I would be honored to take you out! (:

Do you want to go out for

a coffie in about an hour?

yeah, that sounds great !

We can meet at the library.

alright, see you then (:

Read 5:31

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You feel your face warm up, excited to finally do something out of school and maybe have the possibility to meet someone who could be special. You waste no time sitting around, given that you had only an hour to look your best, and got ready.

You have ten minutes to spare after prepping yourself and decide to walk to the library a bit early. You head out of your dorm, still in disbelief that you're going out with someone who was a stranger. It's definitely more of an exhilarating feeling than a nervous one; this would be the second person you've ever gone out with, Jean being your first and only partner and you have to admit that you feel good. You could feel yourself growing as a person even if this was just a silly first date that could potentially mean nothing.

You make your way to the front of the library and right when you were about to open the door you hear your name being softly called out. You turn around and see a blonde boy with a blue-collar shirt and khakis.

Damn, you have no idea who this boy is and you don't care, but why is someone this gorgeous calling out to you? His doll-like skin complexion looks so soft and smooth while his shirt matches his blue eyes perfectly, and his khakis just adding on to his soft persona.

"Are you y/n?" He snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality.

"Oh, um yes, and you're Armin? How did you know it was me?" You can't keep your eyes off of him. This is the mystery man that Sasha fixed you up with and, fuck, he's more beautiful than you could've pictured.

"Sasha showed me pictures of the two of you and I must say you're more stunning in person." His cheeks turn into a bright pink as he looks down, feeling as if he's embarrassing himself.

"Thank you and you're a lot more attractive than I ever imagined." You give him a friendly smile when he looks back up as he hears your compliment.

"The uh coffee shop is not far off-campus so we can walk if you like." He rubs the back of his neck, unsure how to begin your date.

"Yeah, that sounds great." You both walk together in awkward silence, not knowing how to start a chat with each other.

"So, Armin, what are you majoring in?" You turn your head towards him, but Armin seems to not want to make any eye contact with his hands in his pockets.

"Oceanography."

"That's cool, have you always loved the ocean or are you just experimenting with different fields?" You try to carry on with the conversation, hoping he would open up to your about his studies at the least.

"I've always loved the ocean."

"Are the classes you're taking pretty difficult?" You feel your face heat up as he continues to be difficult about continuing your attempted dialogue.

"No."

You start losing your patience with this boy. It frustrates you that no matter what you did he can't try to at least engage in the conversation. You knew from the beginning that this could've been a disaster, but it hadn't even started, and it's already exasperating.

You start to genuinely think of ideas to bail yourself out before it could get any worse, but no, you're going to finish this date whether it's awful or not and move on with your life. You told yourself you were evolving as a person and to bail would only be taking you a step back from the new you.

"How do you know Sasha," you ask him, making it your last-ditch effort to start a conversation as you arrive at the coffee shop.

"We met through a mutual friend at a party." He opens the door for you and both of you enter the cafe.

You and Armin are kindly greeted by the barista as you walk to to the cashier. Both of you order your drinks and sit at a table that's next to the glass wall.

"So, did you meet Sasha because you're dorm mates?" He finally ignites some type of conversation as he fidgets with his fingers.

"We actually somewhat knew each other through my ex-boyfriend and we randomly got paired to be dorm mates." You grin to yourself, thinking about how close you and Sasha got over the year.

Even if it was a bitter-sweet moment mentioning Jean, that you realize may not have been the best thing to do. You hear you and Armin's name being called, but right when you're about to get up Armin quietly spoke, "Stay here, I got it."

You watch him get up from his seat and walk back over to the cashier. He pulls out his brown leather wallet, pays for both of your drinks, and makes his way back to the table with a cup in each hand.

"Thank you for paying, you really didn't have to do that." You feel your cheeks get hot as you grab your drink, slightly grazing his fingers.

"It was no biggie." He shrugs his shoulder and slumps back to his seat.

Subsequently, the awkward silence is back, but a lot stronger than before. You can't understand why it's so difficult to get along with him if this was the date where you're supposed to get to know each other and have endless topics to discuss. You keep reassuring yourself that this would be over soon anyway and now you know that Armin just isn't the one for you and you're completely fine with that. At this point, you only see Armin as the boy you went on the most awkward date with and didn't even picture him as a friend.

"Sorry about this, I've never done anything like this before," he mumbles while tapping on the side of his cup, not wanting to look at you because he felt ashamed.

"O-oh, don't stress about it too much, it's my first date after getting out of my relationship so we're on the same boat." You both exchange warmhearted smiles, trying to break the tension but nothing seems to work.

"We can go back to campus. I have some assignments I need to finish up anyways," he suggests and you feel the weight being lifted off your shoulders. Even though Armin seems like a great person, both of you assume that your wavelengths couldn't match, and it was just best to end it.

"Yeah, that sounds good. I also need to catch up on schoolwork as well." Both of you grab your drinks and head back to school without trying to strike a conversation, knowing that it would just make the tension even more awkward.

As soon as you make it back to your dorm, you must say that you never feel happier to arrive in your shitty box.

"Well, thank you for the coffee and I hope you have a great weekend."

"Yeah, you too." You both wave bye and you walk into your dorm, feeling displeased.

While you didn't expect your date to be completely perfect and for you and Armin to fall in love, this was by far the last thing you wanted to happen.

It didn't take long for you to forget what had transpired as you change to comfortable clothes and start heavily working on your assignments. While you were finishing up on one of your worksheets, you feel your phone vibrate and see a text from Sasha.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

roomie <3

love you moreee

Today 7:47

you better still have some energy

left in you

i'm heading back to get dressed

cause we're going to go PARTYYYY

oh god sasha

i don't do well at parties

pleaseeeeee

i can introduce you to my friends

they're really cool

okayyy sure

so get dolled up

i'll be there soon <3

alright

Read 7:53

next chapter | series masterlist

#tw: death #armin x reader #armin arlert #armin arlert x reader #armin arlert x reader smut #armin arlert smut

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carrottuan93 · 4 years ago

Text

Haven’t met you yet | Mark

Masterlist (3/4) | part1 - part2 - part4

Starring: MK x You

Tags: Mark Tuan, Fluff, Destiny, Waiting, Christmas, Bookworm, Nerd, Love, Fate

Total WC: 2194

You nearly puked your guts out to the sight of Jackson sticking to Eunhee and hugging her like forever has been robbed from them. You failed to confide to your best friend about what happened to you in the last 24 hours. So as not to spoil their couple time together, you chose to not disturb them and just mingle with all the kids in the sweet treats section. You love kids so much you play Santa and distributed macarons to each one of them. As expected, most of your close friends and guests brought their own boyfriends, if not, their own husbands and it was a nice show to witness, with sarcasm aside. Thanks to Jackson’s little cousins, they keep you entertained with their bubbly personality.

“One with the kids, sure you’re missing the party in the adult section, no?” The sight of a guy clad in a formal white dress shirt, tucked in a black denim pants partnered with a classic chuck taylor, and a gray winter coat, welcomed your eyes. Guys who dress fashionably is such a head turner for you.

“Actually, they keep me company so I’m having fun to be honest.” You replied, feeling all the weird sensation cascading across your spine. You feel a bit nauseous whenever guys approach you. You don’t know if you even want to be with a guy right now, after your embarrassing experience last night.

“My cousins here are a bunch of nuisance, you’ll get tired of them soon.” He picked one matcha macaron from the aisle and took a bite of it. You observed his expression. A smile crept up to his face and you caught sight of Eunhee in a distant, gossiping to Jackson that you’re having a moment with his cousin. You certainly know that they’re mentally pairing you up already and you are growing nervous about the plans that they are possibly plotting behind your back.

“You like it? I bought them all the way from a café near my workplace that sells classic macarons just like the original ones from Paris.” He nodded in approval as you watch him took another piece, this time it’s strawberry. That’s your favorite flavor among the rest and you can really tell that the sweet tooth runs on Jackson’s bloodline by how his cousins, from the little chubby ones and the grown up beside you, munch on your favorite treat.

“I never really eat macarons, but you introduced me into it. You deserve a recognition, uhm?” He lifted his hand for a handshake. He doesn’t know your name yet so you took his hand and introduced yourself right away.

“It’s Y/n, Eunhee’s best friend. Thank you for the recognition by the way. Well, you come here with a date?” You’re mentally tiptoeing above the thin ice. It’s better to assume that this cute guy over here is already taken, I mean with his looks, he's totally a charmer, you thought to yourself.

“I didn’t bring anyone with me, so I assume you also come along on your own, no?” Green light. Okay, you need to calm down. This isn’t like any of your past blind dates but first meetups are usually nerve wracking and scary so you played the innocent heroine that you are and chose to just go with the flow seeing how Eunhee and Jackson are staring at you maliciously from Mark’s back, you know they were able to receive the death notes you are sending them via telepathy.

“That explains it.” It’s not that you had a thing with cute guys, but maybe you just discovered it right now. You can tell he’s a decent one, a cool and random Asian-American import from the west and maybe if you’re an ice cream, you already turned into liquid by the way he stares at you.

“I don’t know anything about you yet, but would you trust a complete stranger to celebrate your Christmas eve with? If you’re up for it, we’ll leave this party right away because I can tell that you’re going to get sick from all these couples outnumbering us.” Have you been a good girl this year? You didn’t include this guy on your Christmas list but Santa rewarded you without even asking for it.

“I’m putting my trust on you knowing that Jackson is a good guy so does his cousin. I'll sue him and he’ll answer for the damages and fines in case you failed to bring me back in good shape.” You both let out a hefty chuckle earning glares from your best friend and her boyfriend. You’ve decided to pursue your spontaneous trip with Mark and the next thing you know you’re already closing the front door upon your exit even before the two of them could react to your great and grand escape.

----

He took you on a ride away from the busy and bustling streets of Seoul. You're thrilled to find out that he actually brought you to Namsan Tower, the highest peak in the city. You're awed expression cannot suffice the picturesque panoramic scenery of Seoul unfolding in front of your very eyes when you entered the observatory on the top most floor. You were unable to talk all of a sudden and your heart is brimming with unexplained strings of emotion as you kept on taking pictures and videos of the breathtaking place that sent your eyes into a food coma.

"I only went to N tower once, or maybe twice but that was during the day and I have no idea that this is how it looks at night. It's a miss, nobody will be able to witness this scene on a Christmas eve the way we're seeing it right now." You forgot about your shameful episodes of last night's happenings and your worries disappeared in just an instant.

"I kind of paid for tonight's reservation when I arrived here in Korea a week ago, with the hopes of spending Christmas only to myself. Consider yourself lucky, you've managed to join me on this one-time event. Heck, the price I paid for is totally worth it. Come here and try this." He urged you to look on the telescope, and to your surprise, you're taking in every aspect of the city in a bird's eye perspective. Everything you look at is really stunning. Like you never really imagined that perfection exists for real until tonight and you're experiencing it with a random guy whom you've only met an hour ago. Your eyes met his and you wished you aren't redder than a rotten tomato for looking like a lost deer caught on a headlight.

"The view here is really pretty.” He gave you a smile, too charming for your own consumption.

“It really is.” He’s even prettier than the view. You can only sense your guy-o-meter raising for Mark. Good lord, is this a sign? Your mind is now ready to tick the ideal guy boxes on your list.

“We shouldn't keep this New York style pizza from waiting while it is hot.” He chuckled, like the cute kid that he is. There is something with his unique laugh that you really don’t mind hearing at all. Is he older than me? Please, I don’t want to date someone younger than me.

“Okay, sure kid.” You followed him as he sat on the ground in a dimly lit room radiating a romantic atmosphere under the starry and chilly skies of Seoul. This is not a date, but a friendly escape out of boredom planned by two single hearts on a Christmas eve. As if you’re two partners in crime, sitting on one of the highest skyscrapers in town, while sharing a box of pizza. It’s just that you aren’t Bonnie and neither he is your Clyde but you're loving the idea of him as someone whom you can rely on.

“I’m older than you, silly.” The sight of a wine bottle behind him caught your attention and wondered where it came from. He noticed you eyeing the prize so he did the honor and poured you a glass of wine while you’re devouring your slice of pizza. You never imagined that eating pizza is too romantic and one for the books.

“Any proof that you’re actually above 25? Cause you really look young. With that face, you can qualify for a student discount on public transports and still save money for your commute.” You want to make sure that he’s at least 5 years older than you. You prefer dating someone older than you because they always say that a guy's maturity is a year delayed for his age.

“Trust me, I just know. I’m old enough to buy a house and enter into casinos, I guess.” He gave you a wink and you felt a gush of strong wind blew your senses away. He’s totally a Romeo and you took a swig of wine while observing him secretly.

“So you’re a gambler? I might have been spending my time with some kind of a mafia leader and still have no clue about it.” He’s laughing at it again. I might have a talent with making cute guys laugh and that’s an asset I only discovered right now.

“What, no! But my dad is a big spender in casinos. My duty is to look out for him and take him home before he could even bet our fortune with his leisure. I could always hear him say ‘It has gotta be all or nothing’. He’s born for taking risks and maybe I got that gene from him that’s why.” He stretched his legs and sat like he’s on a photoshoot. He’s not a model but he can beat the professional ones even without the need for screening.

“What’s the biggest risk you’ve taken in your life so far?” You folded your legs as you watch him wonder with his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He poured a glass for himself and you noticed that he used the same glass that you drink on.

“I believe we’re taking risks everyday in our lives. The only difference is the distance of our leap towards taking or not taking chances at all. Like when you’re playing a game, everything starts with equal opportunities. It’s a race to the witch mountain. The first one to gamble takes it all. You gotta be the predator of every tournament and you gotta be the last one standing in a survival of the fittest. If you’re brave enough to take the earliest start, you can use that advantage to ace your end game. It’s all about timing and investing. Win or lose streak. There is no such thing as a grey area when it comes to taking risks. You don’t get to tie with anybody. Either you’ll win or lose. You just have to trust your instincts and roll your dice like everyday is your last day on earth. If I go for something, I go all in. No half-baked decisions. Because my father taught me that risks equates to rewards and I’m all up for the extremes of both worlds. That’s the one thing I’m best at. I know how to play the game nice and fair because I know how to measure the corners of a square and even the distance around the circle which is not visible to the naked eye. After all, he considers me as his lucky charm. That explains my presence to his endless casino nights. And he hardly ever loses if I’m with him. Sure, Pops are probably waiting for me at our doorstep in LA right now. Too bad, his son is on the other side of the world, taking his own risk of a lifetime.” You left with no words to say. He’s too deep, a food for the soul. Guys like him are the ones that can be displayed in museums. He’s a delicate art and nobody should be allowed to touch him but the curator. And you’d want to take that role.

“What if you lose? If you go all in and you lose everything all at once? Have you experienced it already?” you asked, admiring the tiny mole sitting under his left eye. You decided to take your second glass of wine.

“The best thing about losing is that you’ve tried. I don’t take failures as an excuse for not trying again and taking another risk the next day. If I lose, so what? That only means you’re brave because you grow stronger with every fall that you take. Like a bamboo tree, it only bends but it doesn’t break. Life is all about swimming against the current of uncertainties and finding yourself floating on top of your insecurities.” As if he’s summarizing all the lessons in life, you’d always want to go for the front seat. He’s a walking self-help book, and maybe Mark Manson’s book of ‘the subtle art of not giving a fuck’ would have to sit longer in my shelf for the meantime. I got a risk-taker author Mark, right here and I got nothing to worry about.

#marktuan #got7 #ahgase #mark #mark tuan #got7 mark #got7 marktuan #got7 fanfic #got7 fluff #got7 imagines #fluff #kpop #kpop fluff #fanfic #boyfriend #got7 jackson #jackson #got7jackson

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