#if you must have a haunted white heroine

[morganafata]

I dunno, maybe I'd like the Mayfair witches more if Rowan was played by Victoria Pedretti.

[hazamacore]

3 for the book asks : )

“3: what were your top 5 books of the year?”

THE HAUNTING OF HILL HOUSE BY SHIRLEY JACKSON. rewired my entire brain made me scream and throw up!!! it is THE haunted house story with how the horror relies on the psychological state of our unreliable protagonist and narrator eleanor (who is for sure a gothic heroine of all time). it’s so indicative of ms jackson’s talent that she doesnt need to SHOW us the horror of hill house, only imply it, to frighten us and the characters. it’s all up to both our and eleanor’s imagination. maybe the real horror was familial trauma all along. the ending too …. no notes … mwah mwah book of all time

BELOVED BY TONI MORRISON. another absolutely fundamental brain rewiring haunted house… ive been talking a lot with my friend zaina about her work and one thing we talked about was how much of her work centres around the intergenerational trauma of racism and the theme of love - “what does it mean to love?” and beloved is of course the epitome of this. sethe is an incredibly written character and even though i read it all the way back in march i still remember the way while you’re reading you’re simultaneously hooked and cannot stop but MUST stop because you have to take breaks to process

THE BLUEST EYE BY TONI MORRISON. i read this only last month and holy shit !! my engagement was definitely boosted by my discussions with my friend zaina as previously mentioned but there is an unending amount of things to talk about with this book - the structure, writing style, characters and their relationships its all so rich with so much depth and im obsessed with all of it. i LOVED the structure how it begins with a repetitive passage that instantly hooks you showing this idyllic life of a middle class white nuclear family that, and how the narrative begins with its ending, the non linearity with how we’re constantly diving into different lives and perspectives. the character parallels between family members, particularly the breedlove family, are so cleverly woven in and do so much to reinforce those themes of generational trauma and cycles of abuse. i will stop now but this book will, much like beloved, seep under my skin and stick there forever

ANNIHILATION BY JEFF VANDAMEER. i inhaled this book earlier this year it was so gripping it really grabs you by the throat and implores u to keep reading to figure everything out. if the haunting of hill house and the bluest eye did not tip u off. i love unreliable narrators who force you to question if you can trust their recounting of events and the biologist is a great one - i love the detail of the characters being known only as their professions, especially by the biologist, it adds to the dark mystery so much…. i havent read the other books in the series yet lol because honestly i love annihilation as a standalone. ill probably get to them at some point

GIOVANNI’S ROOM BY JAMES BALDWIN. the book that got me out of a slump and back into reading lots this year!!! i read it in the school library trying not to react too intensely but i really think this is the perfect book in encapsulating the shame we’re made to feel in being lgbt and how difficult it is to trudge through that and the disastrous impacts that internalised shame has on our relationships with other lgbt people. really revived me thank you mr baldwin i need to read more of your books

[triviareads]

I was bound to hit a wall in terms of my reading and I feel like October was the month. Three books I was very excited about reading this month ended up mostly duds, and one Russian historical romance ended up disappointing me so deeply I wrote a five-paragraph essay on it. That being said, I also found some jewels this month:

Mickey Chambers Shakes It Up by Charish Reid

This was definitely a surprise favorite; Mickey is a college professor who moonlights as a cocktail waitress (the unfortunate reality for adjuncts trying to make ends meet when they're on expensive meds for chronic illnesses), and Diego is her boss... who also happens to be her student. This book has all the beats of a cute romcom but is also very Adult and Grown-Up sexy; Diego is 42 and Mickey is 33 (much to Diego's shock; look, he just wants to feel guilty about perving on his "25" year old professor in peace okay), so they're mature enough to acknowledge the conflicts of interest here and move on. I adored Mickey's brand of sunshine (if she has to flirt a little for tips, she's in it to win it regardless of Diego panickedly trying to drag her back behind the bar), and Diego was just the right amount of grumpy to make him endearing. Also, this book has the rare interracial couple where neither person is white which I did appreciate. If you like Talia Hibbert's style of writing, you'll love this one.

Hard Way by Katie Porter

I debated whether to put this book on here because the actual Air Force stuff was kind of a drag for me (if you like Top Gun however, this might be your jam— and yes, I am now aware Top Gun is about Navy pilots not Air Force pilots thanks to @viscountessevie), but the married couple angst made it too compelling to not include. Eric (Dash) and Sunita's (Sunny) marriage is slowly falling apart, but when Sunny asks for a divorce, their argument escalates into sex. They slowly start to rediscover each other by way of sex with consensual non-consent interspersed with dates including a yakshagana performance which... wow, that was startling to read, but in an extremely gratifying way because I never thought I'd read about a Kannadiga heroine in this particular situation (Sunita is a heroine people looooved to hate on on Goodreads, but I loved her more for it).

Wrong to Need You by Alisha Rai

This is such a gorgeously emotional book I didn't properly appreciate the first time I read it back in January. Sadia is a widowed single mom grappling with her attraction to her brother-in-law, Jackson. Both of them are haunted by her husband Paul’s (Jackson’s brother) death as well as the mysterious fire that drove Jackson out of town. I adored Sadia, who sees herself as the black sheep of her overachieving immigrant family, but she's actually a very capable woman who is quietly strong in more ways than one, while Jackson is equally capable and gives Sadia the love and support she needs. Also, don't ask me how, but I completely missed the fact that Sadia has some soft domme energy so that was a delight to discover.

Wayward One by Lorelie Brown

A historical romance marketed as Great Expectations That Fucks; Sera finds out that the mysterious benefactor who paid for ten years of schooling is a crime lord of the London underworld.... who intends to marry her eventually. This book reminded me a lot of Grace Callaway's Her Husband's Harlot; both heroes have underworld beginnings and see the heroine as someone who is too pure, too perfect for them, and the heroines in turn are unwillingly placed on this pedestal. Look, I love my bit o'rough heroes (who hate themselves; the self-loathing is a must), and Fletcher here delivers— there's some prime angst about being an *animal* who's been "brought to heel" by Sera and he haaaaates it, especially because Sera is actually freaked out by their chemistry and literally has no idea what to do with herself.

Fun fact, this book is written by one half of the previously mentioned Katie Porter (who is actually two authors writing together).

A Holly Jolly Ever After by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone

This book is adorable, sexy, and heart-warming like the best holiday-themed romances are (I say this as if I've read more than 3 holiday-themed romances). You can read my full review here, but I have to say, I loved the sexual exploration aspect of this book. Winnie slowly overcoming internalized purity-culture-inflicted shame in her thirties and experimenting with what make her feel good (including a peppermint stick vibrator; 'tis the season amirite) was genuinely such a joy to read. Also, the fact that she gets herself off to Kallum's sex tape (dw he licensed it after the initial leak), gets caught by Kallum, and he IMMEDIATELY offers to help her out?? A+++ hero right there. Reading Winnie and Kallum's nontraditional path to finding love and a safe space with one another was a highlight of the month.

[aquaburst3]

I discovered this cool indie horror game called Dark Deception not too long ago, and I just realised I added some similar concepts into my own fic.

(Disclaimer: This will contain spoilers for my grand plan for my fic. If you don't want to see them, turn away now.)

Dark Deception is a indie horror game. In it, our protagonist, Doug, wakes up in a strange ballroom. There he is greeted by a lady named Bierice, who says that if he wants to go back to the world of the living, he has to collect Soul Shards inside 10 mini dimensions, so she could complete a device. This is no easy task since all of the shards are guarded by monsters, who serve their master, the demon Malak.

What does this have to do with my fic? Well, Addie (Yuu/The Player) is like Doug.

...Okay, she wasn't an abusive, cheating scumbag. But she wasn't the best person either.

To not dive too much into spoiler territory, back in secondary school (high school), she was a Regina George style mean girl, doing everything that trope implies...minus the racism and homophobia/transphobia and the fact she's a brown latina instead of a white blonde girl. Thanks to prepressure and the desire to fit in to her group of "friends", she did something so awful that I think even half of the TWST characters would go, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" After this event had an unintended side effect, her "friends" threw her under the bus and blamed everything on her. Her ex revealed that he was cheating on her the whole time and only dated her out of pity and for her looks. After these things happened, she vowed to become a better person and even took on the nickname "Addie" to distance herself from her past.

A theory about Dark Deception, which I'm inclined to believe, is that at least some of the realms represent Doug's sins coming back to haunt him. For example, the Reaper Nurses level is meant to represent how Doug saw women as beautiful sex objects for his own pleasure while the Joy Joy Gang stand for how he zapped the happiness from everyone else around him and Mama Bear parallels his abusive mother. I'm doing something similar to that in my fic.

One thing I always planned for since the very start was that each of the OB represent a piece of Addie's psyche/past:

Riddle represents disablist rhetoric lobbed at her, especially by her ex at the end of their relationship.

Leona represents her cunning and manipulative side along with the way she tossed others under the bus to get what she wanted and others did the same to her in the end.

Vil represents her queen bee popular bitch traits.

Azul represents the dark girl boss traits that she admires in her mother and that she wants to emulate herself. He also represents her fear of one of her bullying victims getting their revenge.

Jamil is her animus (dark romantic foil in a heroine's journey), so he represents her desire for love, both in romance and sex.

Idia represents her nerdy side along with her devotion to her family and loved ones.

Malleus represents her isolation and loneliness over the last few years before coming to Twisted Wonderland. Same goes for everyone back then treating her as some sort of heartless monster and coming to view herself in the same light when in reality she really isn't.

(This is merely listing off the canon OB that I based this on. Let's just say that there will be some surprises and twists with this list.)

Not only that, but Destan (an OC introduced in one of the more recent chapters at the time of typing this) represents her ex boyfriend who cheated on her, Rollo (calling him that for simplicity's sake) represents her ire towards Christianity for how it treats others and the final boss represents an evil version of her without any of her good traits.

Addie defeating all of these foes, overblotting or otherwise, is meant to represent her reconsoling that piece of herself. She must do this to come to terms with what happened and move on, becoming a strong person and an adult. She also needs to learn to embrace both her good and bad traits.

Granted, I promise the it won't turn out the story was all a dream like some stupider version of the Ash Coma Theory. All of the events are actually happening for real in universe. This is just the intended out of universe symbolism of all this that I planted as the author.

It's still interesting that I did something similar to this indie horror game without thinking about it. Great minds think alike, I guess. xD

[tantive404]

Dear Author- Star Wars Rarepairs 2023

Hello wonderful author! Thank you so much for writing for me! This is my first year doing the Star Wars Rarepairs Exchange and I'm so excited to see what you have in store… I just know it will be lovely!! <3

DNWs: -Explicit sexual content. I'm okay with some things of that nature being tastefully implied, but I don't want descriptions of genitalia or sex acts. -Sequel trilogy content -Modern AU -Major Character Death between the characters involved in the ship (they can certainly threaten to kill each other though XD)

Likes: -enemies to lovers tropes, villain x heroine ships -forced or arranged marriage -Leia whump or angst-- I love seeing that girl vulnerable and in perilous predicaments, but still maintaining her strength of will and fighting back. -political intrigue (lends itself particularly well to tarkin x leia) and drama -power dynamics -captivity -banter

Ships:

Leia Organa/Wilhuff Tarkin I am OBSESSED with these two… Ever since I noticed the way he grabs her face during their scene together in A New Hope, something just clicked within my brain. I love their absolute hatred for one another, how they are each so devoted to their opposing causes, and how his desire to subdue her and defeat the Rebellion could manifest into a twisted obsession and desire… They have a great tension and chemistry, and some fun silly space banter. Feel free to lean into the darkness and creepiness.

Prompts: -Something exploring their dynamic pre-ANH, where Leia is working as a rebel spy and Tarkin is suspicious and attempting to catch her in the act of treason. A game of cat and mouse ensues. -Leia and Tarkin strike some form of deal in the hopes of each benefitting their side of the war. How might this develop their relationship? I'd love to see Tarkin manipulating Leia, and Leia's efforts to sabotage him. -Bad end to ANH… Tarkin lives, or the Rebellion loses, and Leia must deal with her grief and desire for revenge… meanwhile the Grand Moff decides he wants something more for the Princess than execution -Missing scene from her captivity and interrogation on the Death Star. Who knows what could have occurred between them behind closed doors?

Leia Organa/Darth Vader These two have the chance for layers and layers of DRAMA and irony. I love the possibility for a sweet twisted "knight and princess" motif, as well as Vader being SUPER protective and possessive of Leia, with her bringing out his more "honorable", "good" side… and Leia reminding him both of Padme and of his former self. I love Leia being a complete sass machine to Vader and being one of the very few people who is able to stand up to the Dark Lord… Perhaps he finds a strange sort of respect for her through that. Also, they're really just a very aesthetically pleasing couple. The size/height difference and the black armor against the white gown. They're truly a villain and a heroine who are meant to be pitted against each other.

Prompts: -Through some strange set of circumstances, Vader and Leia must put up a temporary truce and are forced to work together begrudgingly -Vader protects Leia from a more dangerous foe, and she comes to gain a strange sense of respect for him. -Vader is haunted by his memories of Padme and uses Leia as a fill-in for her of sorts…

Leia Organa/Wilhuff Tarkin/Darth Vader Something of a twisted love triangle where Vader and Tarkin are fighting for control of the Princess, and she is caught in the middle of them.

Leia Organa/Lord Tion Tion is a character who appears in the second episode of the Star Wars Radio Drama-- an arrogant, pompous Imperial officer and devotee of Tarkin who becomes Leia's suitor. Despite her disdain, she briefly permits his courtship to learn more about the Death Star… and everything goes disastrously wrong after he proposes marriage. As an enthusiast for Leia villain ships, I was in love with the MELODRAMA potential caused by this character.

Prompt: -What if the proposal/courtship was allowed to go further, and things turned out differently for them? It would be interesting to see Leia enter into a relationship with an Imperial in order to obtain rebel info…

Rogue One: Jyn Erso/Orson Krennic I enjoy the potential that the clash of these two strong personalities might bring, and the connection which they hold to one another's past. Where Leia and Tarkin will have a heavy amount of verbal sparring, I imagine Jyn and Krennic would have some physical sparring, too. It's also interesting to delve into his relation to her father.

Prompts: -AU where Galen's family returns with him during the construction of the Death Star, and Jyn grows up in high Imperial society, rebelling against the expectations placed upon her, and eventually catching Krennic's eye. -Alternatively, the Erso parents are made to offer Jyn as a bride to Krennic in order to ensure their safety… She's not happy about it, but wants to protect her family. -Something where they survive Scarif and have a chance to build a relationship from there… complex and hate-filled, of course.

[katteethh]

Death Becomes Her

My light, my love, My dearest

Angel Azrael. There is no day

in which you have looked more beautiful

Your day of white eternal on your skin

reflecting the moonlight into my eyes

Passions flow through the blue hue veins of your

Wrists. Piercing, blinding…. Beautiful

her cheeks deepen with my adoration

and my love for her stretches as taught as

the flesh across her chest

pink, purple, and blue bruise flavored flesh

Bedridden and docile my little baby birdie

She calls to me softly, strained under

The festering curse of the plague

Swallowing her whole while my envy

for the reaper consumes her hole

“My love, oh, love let me die. Stop looking

at me with those eyes Remember me

as I was Ripe with hot boiling blood heating

my kiddie fat flesh With a mouth full of teeth

and scalp of full flowing locks. With eyes

bright as de Beauvoir and stomach full of caviar

But her allure is her suffering

And her beauty is in death’s cradle

The angels and demons above and

below fight to make her bones their own

Why must it be that the earth has the privilege

of holding her so gently while the wind

rips the flesh fresh from my bones

And the sun bleaches my eyes?

Curse the maggots who feast on her decadent flesh

And damn the worms wiggling in her womb

Malevolent God! Omnipotent creator!

Why must you steal my precious vessel of pleasures?

My angel of death, Goddess of rot

and withered roses

her ghostly form haunts the hearts of man for years to come

Longing and yearning for her frail figure

to hold and to touch To count her ribs

and spinal disks To taste her pale petal lips

And the bloodstained bile caked in the corners

of her smile So small and fragile and weak

So pliable in the grips of the gentile and jew

Shackled and chained by hunger pains

Light as feathers bending and blowing

at the will of the wind Thought they may try

to wear her skin

Plucking heartstrings with poor replications

Heroine chic and cocaine cuties

None of them compare to her endless beauty

[cwnerd12]

Okay, yes, obviously whoever created this table is a fascist who is only trying to bring back the concept of “degenerate art”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degenerate_art

I’m not going to do a political analysis deep dive of it, someone else can do a better job of that than I can.

But as someone who has spent their whole life trying to create art, good or bad, and who most loves art when it leaves me confused, joyous, and absolutely devastated, the thing that intrigues me so much about this chart is just how fucking wrong it is.

Several people in the reblogs have said “this person must hate Guernica,” which is just the beginning of it. I happened to have just a day or two ago listened to Ethel Cain’s Preacher’s Daughter, which is a concept album with a story that sounds absolutely fucking insane if you just describe it: the story of an evangelical preacher’s daughter who runs away from home, has a series of shitty abusive boyfriends, becomes a stripper addicted to drugs, and then gets murdered and cannibalized. It is one of the most profound and beautiful works of art that I have listened in a long fucking time, and I am absolutely obsessed with it.

Is it ugly? yes. It makes me feel weird and saps my energy. It doesn’t just mock the idea of the conservative Christian values that she was raised with, it tears them apart and lays them bare. But it ends with a message of love. It neither empowers nor enfeebles life: it recognizes the brutality that life can bring and still, somehow, manages to scrape some hope and beauty out of it.

I research cemeteries when I’m offline, and most of that involves shifting through literally thousands of death certificates, most of which are of people who died at a ripe old age and lived fulfilling, happy lives, but many of which are cruelly short and full of pain. I like to joke that it’s a constant stream of “That’s the most fucked up murder/disease that I’ve ever heard of.”

Recently, when I was sharing research with someone, she mentioned the number of babies buried in her cemetery, and how sad it made her, and she asked me, “How can you stand to do it?” I had no good answer for her other than, “Well you kind of get used to it.”

The truth is you don’t get used to it, sometimes the stories you come across stick with you and haunt you, but it reminds you that you are alive and so were the names here in black ink and white paper.

I keep going back to the line in the final song, “Strangers,” “With my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence.” A number of years ago, I helped a woman who was kidnapped by a serial killer but convinced him to let her go to research the other women he didn’t set free. So many of them had stories similar to the one in Preacher’s Daughter. Stories of abuse and generational trauma and drug addiction that all end with one man, and then go on.

One woman escaped an uncle who molested her only to end up working at a massage parlor. One woman's step-father said "That's what happens when you're a hooker."  One woman was a heroin addict who was trying to regain custody of her young daughter. Twenty years later, said daughter died of a heroin overdose, possibly administered on purpose by her boyfriend. One woman had no known family, no friends, no story, only a pimp who was thinking about moving out west. The only photographs we ever found of her were a mug shot and photos of her desiccated corpse after it had been decomposing in a ditch for a month.

These are the women whose lives are deemed worthless under fascism. Of course fascist art will never seek to humanize or understand them. It would be celebrating ugliness.

Listening to Preacher’s Daughter, I am reminded that they had lives, that they mattered, and I cry for them, and I wish fate could have been kinder to them. I think about my own trauma and disappointments and generational scars and I know that life is cruel but love still exists. I feel connected to these women and I feel love for them.

The term that often gets thrown about when discussing the meaning of art is catharsis, that is, purification through pain. You listen to stories of tragedy and songs of lament to feel your own pain more clearly, and learn to appreciate it and find beauty in it. But of course, the fundamentalist and fascist mindset allows no room for pain, doubt, empathy, or obscurity. It demands only the beautiful and perfect and happy, and anything that does not meet their ideal is unworthy. 

What a limited view of art. What a limited view of life. How unrealistic. How false.

Tag yourself which official Bad Art trait are you

[its-suanneschafer-author]

The amazing Amazon has removed ALL of my book reviews for "sexual content" and "hate speech." I have been reviewing at least 8 books a month on Amazon and other sites since 2018. I have written them to protest. Will keep you posted. And my apologies to all you who are now missing a review.

Amazon started by flagging this one for "sexual content" on Babylonia by Costanza Casati: 

Babylonia is set in ancient Assyria with its brutal, warlike society. The heroine, Semiramis, is orphaned when her mother commits suicide. In the village of Mari in western Assyria, she’s adopted by the chief shepherd. He is brutal and sadistic, frequently beating her. Rather than the abuse bringing about her submission, she becomes self-righteous and angry and when given the chance to escape with Onnes, a soldier, to Kalhu, the capital city, she does so. There he marries her and introduces her to his brother and, friend, and perhaps lover, the king, Ninus.

The book revolves around the relationship between the three, an amazing love triangle. All three are complex, at least in part broken, the men (especially Onnes) possibly suffering from PTSD. From being jealous of Semiramis, Ninus moves to falling in love with her, complicating his relationship with Onnes, with Ninus’s own mother, Nisat, and other members of the court. Semiramis, a village girl, must make her way through court intrigues and politics, but her native intelligence helps her out-maneuver more-experienced courtiers as she attempts to fulfill a prophecy a diviner spoke to her in her childhood. Eventually she becomes the only female queen of Assyria.

The book is quite bloody, especially when Onnes, Ninus, and Semiramis go to Bactria to conquer the city of Balkh, but Casati doesn’t glorify the bloodshed, merely recognizes it as a fact of society at the time. 

Then Amazon removed the three reviews on the Attica Locke Highway 59 series about a Black Texas ranger for "hate speech" and from there removed ALL of my reviews.

Bluebird, Bluebird, the first in the Highway 59 trilogy, is an amazing Southern noir that it is so much more than the usual mystery. It’s also about home, whether the place of one’s birth or a found home; family; race; and justice. 

The protagonist, Darren Matthews, leaves Texas for law school in Chicago but finds himself drawn back to his East Texas home and a job as a Texas Ranger. When he’s sent to the hamlet of Lark, Texas, to unofficially investigate two murders, one of a local White woman, the other a Black man from Chicago, he must solve the crimes while being a stranger in town. Though Black, he is an outsider, thus not trusted by local Blacks. As a Black man, he is not trusted by Whites. As a ranger, he is not trusted by the local police. He must save himself, the wife of the murdered Black man, and solve two crimes. Matthews thinks the crimes are racially motivated even as the local police try to sweep the racial aspects under the rug in an attempt to maintain a semblance of goodwill between the races, a goodwill that is utterly missing. He uncovers local secrets, both old and new, as he solves the murders.

As the White mother of a child who identifies as Black, I am always interested in books that highlight racial issues and how pervasive they are in American life. The prose here is taut yet lyrical and reeking with the atmosphere of East Texas as well as a sense of malice and that nothing has changed between the races since antebellum days. This antipathy culminates in the presence of the Aryan Brotherhood of Texas, a White supremacist group, in Lark. As he investigates, Matthews carries his own haunted past with him: his new propensity toward excessive alcohol consumption, a drunk mother, and a wife who’s unhappy with his desire to be a ranger. Matthews’s personal journey is as intriguing as it colors the rest of the book. The title, Bluebird, Bluebird, references a John Lee Hooker rich bluesy tune of the same name, and a strong thread of music runs throughout. I will certainly finish the trilogy and probably the rest of Attica Locke's backlist.

#Censorship

#AmazonCensorship

#AmReading

#Bookstagram

#Amazon

#BookReviews

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompt Reminders

TSUKIHIME

Arcueid becoming Neco Arc played completely straight as some sort of horrofic Jekyll and Hyde style transformation.

Kohaku starts a recruitment drive for new maids for the mansion, and everyone (regardles of gender or even species) in Misaki Town finds themselves drafted - whether they like it or not

Some sort of haunted mansion story involving the Tohno Household - with Akiha, Kohaku and Hisui being the ghosts. Three back alley heroines decide to ghost hunt over there and find themselves having their personality altered until they become the House's old members in body and soul.

SHIKI and Kohaku. Make it fucked up. Bring in Akiha if you want too, all I want is some fucked up moments with them

FSN

Rin gets revenge on the "fat cow" Luvia by turning her into a fat-titted cow girl (with white and black skin and all) (Should be a mental transformation too)

Rin brings Mitsuzuri over for sex only to make her do ageplay as Rin's 10 year old little sister who looks up to her and is always cheerful and who'll she'll never be separated from and their happy childhood will last forever

FGO

Oberon gets fucked until he starts calling himself Titania.

noncon, incest, I can't take this anymore I need to see Duryodhana's stupid loser ass get nonconed by Bhima or by a mob I don't care he just deserves to get put in his place (bonus points if you use his line for getting hit by np)

All the Sakuraface servants get summoned all at the same time sharing Sakura's body. Sakura's many many new headmates get up to comedic hijinks as they spend so much time fighting each other for control that Sakura's actually not really stopped from doing anything.

Cu gets into an argument with salter rider maid supreme, decides to one up her at maiding. Not one hell of a butler, one hell of a MAID. He is wearing a MAID dress and doing maid stuff to be clear hear. Shenanigans ensue. He can fuck around along the way if he wants. But he must defeat Salter at maid shit. Any version of cu but setanta is cool for this.

incest, smut, Percival and melusine fucking nasty. the more fucked up the better.

Chaldea is sent to yet another singularity in the Fuyuki Grail War from FSN, but oh they were not expecting who got summoned as Berserker here. Now Everyone, especially Guda, has to deal with Guda themselves being the Berserker of this timeline. And the Berserker Guda doesnt even seem to realize anythings off about this. Just what that actually means is up to the writer as is who Zerkers master is but I would humbly request Artoria still be Shirous servant and that this all take place post LB6. For Reasons. (There are two gudas just to be clear, Master Guda and Berserker Guda)

So Castoria is kinky and horny. We all know that. But I HIGHLY doubt she got any sort of sex ed (yet alone kink ed) growing up, considering... everything. So my request! Is for Castoria to discover something about her sexuality! It could be a new kink, it could be learning the name of one of her fetishes which she thought too weird to be widespread, it could be attending a bdsm 101 class, it could be confronting an actual sexual experience to her preconceptions on kink and/or sex, hell it could even just be discovering that she can practice kink without the sex part if she doesn't feel like it. Anything along these lines!

smut, Marisbury fucks Kirschtaria or Roman/Solomon with the gun he keeps in his desk drawer

[marybeatriceofmodena]

You know, I’ve been thinking today about how Alina doesn’t even really work as a Reluctant Hero, compared her to Frodo to see the key differences (since Frodo is pretty much the Poster Child for the Reluctant Hero), and then I realized... 

You know, I think L/eigh B/ardugo wrote TGT as a very black-and-white fairytale, where Alina is the princess, Mal’s the knight in the shining armor, and the Darkling is basically the dragon, except it doesn’t really work because the worldbuilding requires an approach that’s... a lot more grey? 

The thing is, though, I realized... Alina and Mal are basically meant to be Frodo and Sam. Except that, again... it doesn’t really work. 

Frodo works as a Reluctant Hero, because he makes it clear multiple times that he doesn’t want to carry the Ring. He asks Gandalf to do it for him, he asks Galadriel, he asks Aragorn, and they all refuse, because they are (or are called to be) in a position of power, and while them being in a position of power is presented as good, the One Ring essentially represents the fast, easy way to get to it, which will ultimately corrupt them rather than have them fight their way towards their goal. 

Frodo, meanwhile, is the right person to carry the Ring, because he comes from a humble place and he doesn’t really have any aspirations to become powerful. And while he’s clearly burdened by having to carry the One Ring, and that he makes it clear that he wishes the Ring had never come to him, he still goes on anyway, despite all the hardships he faces, because his ultimate goal is to save the Shire and his friends, and that desire is stronger than any fear or greed he may have. 

Now, J.R.R. Tolkien himself said that he didn’t really see Frodo as THE Hero, and that Sam is the real Hero of the story to him. Which makes sense, given how Sam was based off young men from rural England he met while fighting in World War I. But also, the story makes it very clear that without Sam, who’s arguably the most pure-hearted person in all of Middle-Earth, Frodo would have definitely failed in his task. The reason why he resists the temptation to carry the One Ring is LITERALLY because him protecting and helping Frodo is more important to him. Sam doesn’t give two shits about power. Helping Frodo save the Shire and coming back to everything he’s ever loved is more important to him. 

Both Alina and Frodo are pure-hearted orphans who are given tremendous power: Alina is the Sun Summoner, and Frodo carries the One Ring. In both cases, power is represented as a corruptive force, that makes people go mad with greed. It works in the context of The Lord of the Rings, given how the rings were given to leaders of Elves, Dwarves and Men, and that Sauron created the One Ring to rule over and control all of them. The Grisha, on the other hand, unlike the Ring-bearers, are not in a position of power, given they are essentially victims of Fantastic Racism in pretty much every country. While Ravka treats them slightly better than in Fjerda or Shu Han, it’s still not ideal and it’s something that could be taken away from them at any moment. It would be an entirely different matter if the Grisha were the ones rulling over Ravka and viewing otkazat’sya as lesser, and in that context, Alina being the Sun Summoner would be a very obvious road to her becoming corrupted. 

Frodo refusing to carry the One Ring and asking other people to take that burden from him comes from a place of genuine fear of what the Ring might do to him. In his place, we’d probably all do the same thing. That’s what makes his acceptance of his task all the more admirable. Alina, on the other hand, refuses to be the Sun Summoner and to help her fellow Grisha because that stands in the way of her ending up with Mal. She never gives any sign that she’s truly empathizing with the Grisha’s plight, she tries to run away not once, but twice, and most importantly, she never sees herself as one of them. They are othered, but it matters little to her, because she doesn’t want to be othered herself, because that stands in the way of her running off with a boy. It’s basically the equivalent of Frodo being overcome by fear after seeing the fate of the Shire in Galadriel’s mirror, and just demanding to be sent to the Grey Havens straight away to save his own ass from it all and just leaving the One Ring to whoever wants to deal with it. At that point, it’s not being a Reluctant Hero: it’s being a coward at best, a selfish bastard at worst. 

(And that’s why I don’t really buy her when she tells Aleksander that they could have had it all if he had told her all the truth from the start, because... again, she didn’t seem to care about the Grisha that much and Aleks telling her everything would have actually been a sure way of having her run as fast as possible the other way. I know the story is trying to tell me otherwise and that the plot point I’m supposed to see here is that Alina was willing to do something until she felt betrayed by Aleks, which is... not what was shown here, and it’s especially annoying considering how Alina is a deserter in every sense of the word, and that any army would have court-martialed her for running away.) 

So if Alina is meant to be a pure, selfless heroine, who loses her powers because she also refuses to be greedy... that just falls completely flat, because if anything, she’s as selfish as Frodo is selfless, because all of this really just boils down to her wanting to run off with Mal. 

Now, onto Sam and Mal. Both of them are basically Everymen who are there to help the Hero and keep their feet on the ground. As mentioned earlier, Sam is the one who helps Frodo finish his mission to Mordor, and the story makes it clear Frodo would have failed without him. TGT meanwhile presents Mal as Alina’s “True North”... which could work on paper as Alina’s reminder to temper Aleksander’s efforts and to remind him that in order for Grisha to be viewed as people, it is important for them to also remember that balance and peace between Grisha and otkazat’sya will be essential, so resentment and hatred can be healed between both groups. 

The key difference here is that Sam is completely supportive of Frodo at all times. Even when Frodo sends him away in the film, Sam goes back after him the minute he realizes he’s been tricked by Gollum. He never shames Frodo whenever he falls prey to temptation, he simply reminds him of who he is and what he must fight for, and even when he’s climbing Mount Doom, he still carries Frodo on his back despite being probably completely exhausted, because Frodo’s more exhausted than he is. He completely accepts Frodo as both his friend, the Hobbit from the Shire, and the Ring-bearer he needs to help, even if he might die in the process. 

Mal (in the books, that is) makes it very clear that he does not accept Alina as both the girl he knew and the Sun Summoner. He only wants the girl, and whenever Alina makes steps towards being the Sun Summoner, he basically sulks and yells at her for not paying attention to him. Despite Alina becoming othered in the eyes of the world, he refuses to see her as othered, mostly because it is inconvenient to him rather than because he loves her for who she is. That’s why in the end, people feel like Alina lost her powers in order to be with Mal, because Mal would never accept her in her entirety. Sam, on the other hand, accepts Frodo as both Ring-bearer and Hobbit, because if he didn’t, Frodo would have failed. 

And while they made Mal in the show a lot nicer than his book counterpart, he still doesn’t work as Alina’s “True North”, because he cossets her in her selfishness. He may say he doesn’t care about how Alina is a Grisha in this one, but he also doesn’t consider the implications of it all - which is especially glaring given he’s a soldier himself. Like, look, if you’re going to slap in a racism plotline to make Mal/ina work, you’d think that being half-Shu would give Mal a little awareness that people are going to treat Alina badly for being half-Shu AND a Grisha, and given Alina is the MOTHERFUCKING SUN SUMMONER AND A SAINT, maybe, just maybe he’d tell her: “Heh, it’s kinda lame we’ll just run off and let everyone else in the dust, you know, especially since we could make our lives as well as everyone else’s better?” Seriously, if you’re going to make Mal Alina’s “True North”, have him face her duties and her calling whether she likes it or not, don’t coddle her when she wants to run the other way because she wants to hide under a rock for the rest of her life. 

With all that being said, that leaves us with the Darkling, who... I mean, given his whole schtick is that power corrupts and makes you evil and crazy, I guess that makes him Gollum, but sexy. 

Gollum, but sexy. 

That single expression has been haunting me ever since I started writing the above novel and I fucking hate it. You’re welcome. No one wanted Sexy Gollum. Absolutely no one. Fuck this shyte. See, this is why I want Darkling Redemption. I do not want to live in a world where Gollum is sexy. I need brain bleach. 

Even here it doesn’t even fucking work because Gollum hid in a cave with the Ring with a strategically placed cloth because no one wants to see his crusty ass family jewels anyway, while Aleks worked his ass off to give the Grisha a safe place to live and to at the very least ensure they’re useful enough to not be killed like animals. Like, if you’re going to give the world something that’s gonna definitely not make me sleep tonight like Sexy Gollum, at least do it right. 

[floriannas]

What Exactly Gothic Is

(Let me preface with trigger warnings, because Gothic makes a point of delving into dark themes: murder, abuse, racism, homophobia, incest, ableism, misogyny)

I have seen certain posts about what the definite characteristics of gothic fiction are that, I hate to say...felt either incomplete or inaccurate. And that has bothered me enough to make my own post about, at the very least, my understanding of this genre. 

Some things to get out of the way:

Gothic does not have one fixed definition. It is fluid and nebulous, and while all literature reflects its society, genre changes massively depending on where it was written. Canadian Gothic is not Welsh Gothic is not American Gothic. Victorian Gothic is not contemporary Gothic is not Regency Gothic. Nineteenth century British gothic is often in response to the drastic technological changes of the industrial revolution. Welsh Gothic has a lot of focus on the disenfranchised and the coal mining industry. Where and when your WIP is, and where and when YOU are writing it, is going to define it. 

We cannot talk about Gothic as a genre without talking about the racism that much of it is rooted in. We cannot ignore Charlotte Bronte’s dehumanising description of Bertha Rochester, a creole woman. We cannot ignore that Edward Hyde’s physical description is less ‘white’ than Henry Jekyll’s. We cannot ignore Heathcliff’s identity as a racially ambiguous villain. We cannot ignore just how bigoted in every way Dracula is. We CANNOT ignore the whiteness of much of the ‘feminist’ gothic literature, either. This is something you must be aware of if you're writing Gothic - it is not integral to gothic fiction but as I will explain, the traits of the genre lend themselves to antagonising marginalised groups.

Gothic is not just gothic horror. It can be horror, but it is still a genre in its own right and the horror is not mandatory.  

This post is about gothic as a literary genre. I will not be talking about Ostrogoths, Visigoths, gothic architecture or art, and - for once - I’m not talking about the Goth subculture either, the two actually have almost nothing in common.

Some frequent, though not all required, characteristics of the gothic (this is NOT a checklist. I cannot stress that this is a genre purposefully WITHOUT a clear definition):

Familial trauma - the ending of family lines (the presence of the aristocracy is common in Gothic, this trope perhaps most blatantly depicted in Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher), hauntings - not necessarily literal but metaphorical. There’s often a secret, or some kind of terrible incident that has been covered up, amongst a family that is inevitably unearthed. Marital trauma is very common - as seen in Jane Eyre with the original ‘madwoman in the attic’, the mystery surrounding the titular character in Rebecca, the secret room of The Bloody Chamber, the murdered husband being literally unearthed in House of America. 

The setting is everything in Gothic. It often has a presence enough that it is a character in its own right. Key things about the setting is that it’s typically old - or at least old enough to have a turbulent history - and typically remote, ‘feral’, in amongst nature and separate from civilisation. The latter is very often executed in a racist and/or xenophobic way in Gothic classics. Think very critically of what is considered ‘civilisation’ and what is not. Dracula being a novel about white Christian Britons being threatened by an Eastern European vampire? Don’t replicate that. You will also see the ‘sublime’ (see below) here, and motifs of decay (which can be linked to the ending of a family line easily!), and themes surrounding imprisonment and escape. Gothic fiction loves pathetic fallacy - whether a storm, fog, rain or bitter cold, the weather is absolutely there to set the tone.

Repression. This can be of a trauma, but repression of sexuality can feature too. I have seen it asserted that homoeroticism is a key component in Gothic, and while it can feature, I would not say entirely agree, for a number of reasons. There is often a focus on ‘taboo’ sexuality, a categorisation which places LGBT people with taboos such as incest (which features often in some forms of Gothic). Homophobic tropes such as the predatory gay villain (e.g. Dracula’s obsession with Jonathan Harker and Mrs Danver’s obsession with Rebecca) are fairly common, and a general treatment of homosexuality as immoral or depraved especially older texts, so let’s not act like it’s always been a LGBT friendly genre. Something either hidden away or repressed that is then discovered is a huge, huge, component to most gothic fiction. 

Misogynistic gender dynamics are often present: the combination of a young, vulnerable and innocent woman with an older male ‘Byronic Hero’ type love interest is common. The Victorian template of ‘bad’, ‘promiscuous’ or otherwise ‘improper’ woman reaching a sticky end is well loved. And then there’s Poe’s sinister obsession with ‘beautiful dead woman’. Don’t forget the intersection of ableism and misogyny with the ‘mad’ women like Bertha Rochester and Miss Havisham (though Eleanor Vance of The Haunting of Hill House is a sympathetic antidote of this trope.) The way women are written is something I’d very much like us to move beyond. 

The sublime: this is everywhere. That something, especially the wilderness, is beautiful and massive enough to be incomprehensible. 

Doubles or doppelgangers. Often as a ‘darker’ reflection of the protagonist - such as the hero and villain having close parallels, or the heroine as a foil to her husband’s mysterious dead first wife. It doesn’t have to exist just in this way, but the motif of the doppelganger is one Gothic fiction likes a lot.

‘Otherness’ or monstrosity. ‘Otherness’ and ‘Othering’ is something that is a crucial part of literary theory - what the narrative deems strange, unfamiliar, not like us, and so most depictions of monsters will also be Othered. Considering how almost all of the time in the Western literary canon this is a vehicle for racism, please think critically. Frankenstein’s monster has a more nuanced approach to what society defines as strange, or monstrous, how monstrosity is created, and self fulfilling prophecies. 

Cultural anxiety. This is by no means unique to Gothic but the genre is shaped by what the society of its creation is afraid of. This - like Frankenstein or The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde - can be scientific advancement and new discoveries we do not yet understand, but the problem arises that for a lot of Western Gothic this has been marginalised groups. 

The Uncanny. As found in various forms of horror - same with the fear of the unknown, but often in Gothic - that something resembles something else enough to recognise at least what it ‘tries’ to be, but not enough for it to be truly familiar. This is a really effective way to make any person, place, or thing unsettling.

I think I’ve covered most of my notes - please take my first bullet point into consideration as this will inevitably be a bit UK centric. The thing about gothic is that it doesn’t really have one fixed meaning, so you have a lot of freedom. Bonus: if you want to read a really good gay feminist Gothic short story, ‘The Resident’ by Carmen Maria Machado is one of the best pieces of fiction, ever. 

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!) 

[dwellordream]

Wahala by Nikki May. Drama/thriller. Ronke, Boo, and Simi have been best friends since university, united by their background as mixed race white/Nigerian women and their dysfunctional families. Ronke dreams of true love, though her friends disapprove of her immature, unreliable boyfriend. Boo seems to have the perfect husband and child, but longs for the independence and freedom she had before motherhood. Simi is an ambitious perfectionist who seems to have aced her 'long distance marriage' with her constantly traveling husband, yet can't admit to him that she has no desire for a baby. The tightknit trio is rocked when a mysterious woman from their past returns- cheerful, beautiful, gossipy Isabel, a cunning socialite who encourages them to go after what they want- no matter the cost to their reputations or friendship.

Aesthetica by Allie Rowbottom. Sci fi/drama. Once upon a time, she was a beloved social media influencer, with millions of adoring fans on Instagram and YouTube. Sixteen years later, cast out of the public eye and nursing the wounds of dozens of cosmetic surgeries, our heroine elects to go under the knife one final time- but before her last surgery, she wants to set the record straight. What drove her to pursue fame? What's the truth about her former manager, now accused of widespread sexual abuse and coercion? And what do you do when the spotlight switches off?

Fever by Deon Meyer. Sci fi. A pandemic has destroyed most of society and civilization. In South Africa, a teenage boy called Nico follows his idealistic father Willem on his journey to create a community of survivors dedicated to restoring what was lost. Even as Nico admires his father's pacifism and intelligence, he realizes Willem is no match for the new world's brutality, and falls under the sway of Domingo, a military veteran with palpable disdain for Willem's dreams of democracy. As Nico matures from a naive boy to an angry young man, he must choose where his loyalties lie, and what it means to be a leader.

When We Were Bright and Beautiful by Jillian Medoff. Drama/thriller. The ludicrously wealthy Quinns rule Manhattan's Upper East Side, and their political and social influence stretches far beyond New York City. Cassie, always insecure about her place in the family as their only adopted child, is horrified when her sweet, shy younger brother Billy is accused of rape by his ex-girlfriend. Determined to help her family defend their son, Cassie is willing to do whatever it takes to clear Billy's name- but along the way, discovers more than one dark family secret- including one that revolves around herself.

Red Rabbit by Alex Grecian. Horror/dark fantasy. In an alternate Wild West, where demons, ghosts, and sinister cults hold sway, a bounty is set on the infamous witch Sadie Grace. A motley crew assembles to bring the witch to justice, including two reckless Civil War veterans turned cowboys, a widow seeking a new home, an eccentric witch-finder, and a mysterious orphaned girl. As they head towards Burden County, Kansas, the group runs afoul of cannibals, outlaws, and hauntings, while Sadie Grace prepares to give her visitors a warm welcome steeped in hellfire.

We Could Be Beautiful by Swan Huntley. Thriller. Catherine West, wealthy socialite and unlucky in love, wants nothing more than to settle down and start a family. When she encounters William Stockton, a successful banker and old family friend, her misfortune in romance seems poised to change. Her increasingly senile mother's warnings about William matter little to Catherine; nor does his intense Catholicism or his unsettling bursts of violence and manipulation. Catherine is used to having what she wants, and with her trust fund running low, she is determined to secure a happy ending. But what exactly is William hiding? And how well does she really know him?

Movie Star by Lizzie Pepper by Hilary Liftin. Realistic fiction/drama. Lizzie Pepper, teen drama actor turned America's Sweetheart after her marriage to mega-action-star Rob Mars, is ready to tell-all about her infamous marriage and shocking divorce. Lizzie was living every woman's dream- married to Hollywood's most popular leading man, mother to two adorable little boys, and reaping the benefits of the mysterious religious organization known as One Cell. But the dream life might not have been worth it after all- not when Lizzie realizes the cost of committing to life with Rob, or the darker side of his fame.

The Parliament by Aimee Pokwatka. Horror/mystery. Estranged from her friends and family after surviving a horrific event, chemist Mady Purdy reluctantly returns home to West Virginia to teach a science class at the local library. Overwhelmed by her moody teenage charges, and doing her best to avoid her former best friends, Mady isn't prepared for the library to be besieged by a hundreds of thousands of owls, all of whom are intent upon tearing apart anyone who tries to exit or enter the building. As the town authorities launch increasingly dangerous and haphazard efforts to destroy the owls, Mady must face her own dark past to protect her students.

Books Recs of 2024

The Tainted Cup by Robert Jackson Bennett. Mystery/fantasy centered around Din, a young assistant investigator assigned to help an eccentric and infamous detective, Ana Dolabra, solve a series of murders. Din is an engraver, his brain altered so he has a photographic memory. However, no one is quite sure how he got his current position, since he failed every single one of his final exams except the combat portion. Ana is an exceedingly odd woman who refuses to go to any crime scene in person and often performs mad science experiments in her spare time. As Din struggles to keep up with the case, which revolves around a bioweapon being unleashed on a series of the empire's best engineers, he also worries what will happen when Ana finally uncovers his secrets.

Highfire by Eoin Colfer. Urban fantasy (very comedic fantasy) about a dragon called Vern (short for Wyvern), who teams up with a juvenile delinquent named Squib (real name Everett Moreau) to take down a corrupt sheriff who is plaguing the Lousiana bayou. Vern is a very small (seven feet long) dragon who is the last of his kind (as far as he knows). When he is spotted by a local troubled teen, his first instinct is to hunt Squib down and kill him, but he quickly realizes the two of them have a common enemy- the murderous sheriff who is running drugs through their territory.

The Last Tale of the Flower Bride by Roshani Chokshi. Magical realism about a romantic-minded art historian who is swept off his feet by a mysterious and charming heiress. After a whirlwind courtship, the happy couple return to her childhood home; a Gothic manor on a lonely island. The more time our narrator spends around his wife's past, the more questions are raised- increasingly sinister ones about who she is and what exactly she is capable of. Once upon a time, she was best friends with an equally odd and dreamy little girl named Indigo. But no one has seen Indigo for many years now- and the Flower Bride may be behind her disappearance.

Chlorine by Jade Song. Horror/magical realism. Since childhood, Ren's entire identity has been wrapped up in swimming. If she can be strong enough, fast enough, special enough, success is sure to come her way. As the end of high school approaches, Ren's passion for swimming becomes less about her future, and more about past legends of mermaids and sirens dragging sailors into the deep. School, friends, and her parents' expectations all fall away- Ren will make her home in the water, no matter what she has to do.

We Are Not Like Them by Christine Pride & Jo Piazza. Realistic fiction. Jen and Riley have been best friends for as long as they can remember, despite their vastly different childhoods. Riley is from a middle class Black family; Jen was raised by an impoverished white single mother. After twenty years of doing almost everything together, their lives are at a crossroads- Riley is a news anchor about to take Philadelphia by storm, while Jen is expecting her first child with her police officer husband. When Jen's husband is involved in the murder of a Black teenage boy by a fellow officer, Riley finds herself expected to cover the story- and Jen finds herself expected to answer for her husband's actions- and her own beliefs about what racism looks like.

Queenpin by Megan Abbott. Crime thriller/noir. Our nameless heroine lives a mousy existence working as a bookkeeper for a rundown local night club, but her life is turned upside down when the infamous Gloria Denton, a gun moll and smuggler, takes her under her wing. Gloria transforms her young protege from a timid girl to a sophisticated, cunning woman capable of handling gangsters, conmen, thieves, and bookies, but when she falls for the wrong man, her relationship with Gloria is strained, and they must decide just how far they can trust one another.

Everyone Knows Your Mother is a Witch by Rivka Galchen. Historical fiction. Based on the real life trial of Katharina Kepler, mother of the famed Johannes Kepler, Imperial Mathematician to the Holy Roman Empire. Katharina is a busybody, a domineering and devilishly clever woman with a particular talent for healing. She is also a fiercely loyal mother to her adult children, but when an old neighborhood grudge flares into accusations of poison and witchcraft, Katharina is determined not to meekly confess and beg pardon. The more she lashes out at her neighbors and the authorities, the more charges begin to pile up against her- despite her son's desperate attempts to save her from torture and execution.

Bury Me Deep by Megan Abbott. Crime thriller/noir. Based on a real life murder case in 1931 Phoenix Arizona. Naive and sheltered Marion Seeley is deposited in Phoenix by her disgraced doctor husband, who is forced to take a job with a mining company in South America after his medical license is revoked. Marion befriends the vivacious Louise and Ginny, two fellow nurses, who introduce her to the underground party scene in Phoenix. Politicians and businessmen flock to the secret parties held by them, and it's a quick way to make money on the side. Drawn in by the luxury and thrills, Marion falls in love with Joe Lanigan, a powerful local politician, but as their affair intensifies, her friendship with the other women fractures, culminating in a gruesome crime.

[christinaroseandrews]

Looking for a Romance this Valentine’s Day?

So, every publication and blogger is putting out a Valentine’s Day romance list, and we are nothing if not followers. We’ve assembled a large list (33 Books) of a mix of traditionally and indie published books. All of the books on this list are ones we’ve read and feel comfortable recommending. And they all fit the definition of romance - a story where the relationship is central to the overall plot and features a happy for now or happily every after ending.

We’re going to break this down into several categories because not everyone reads Regency romances (but we are going to start there).

Regency Romance

These are books set between 1795-1837. While the Regency itself was only from 1811-1820 most people use these dates including Wikipedia. This was honestly one of the hardest for us to narrow down, mostly because it’s the dominant genre in traditionally published romance -- even Contemporary doesn’t hold a candle to Regency right now.

Sweet Disorder - Rose Lerner - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Election hijinks ensue when the local election hinges on who the widowed wife of a newspaper printer marries. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Family Drama, Disabled Characters, Everyday People Falling in Love, Marginalized Author (Jewish).

The Baroness Affair - Jean Wilde - M/M/F Romance (Steamy) - A desperate noblewoman enlists the help of a male courtesan to help her get pregnant... no it’s not what you think. Other Notes: Equal Triad Polyamory, Period Appropriate Homophobia, LBGT Romance, Family Drama.

How To Start a Scandal - Madeline Martin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A wallflower and secret society reporter reconnects with the Earl Next Door who’s recently returned from the war. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Family Drama, Positive Mental Illness Portrayal, Cute Plot Animals.

Project Duchess - Sabrina Jeffries - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A duke returns to his family after the mysterious death of his stepfather, yet another duke, only to be enchanted by a woman who has a connection to the last person to see his stepfather alive. Other Notes: Older Heroine (the whole series features these), Romantic Suspense Series, family drama. I’m really enjoying the whole series and it’s worth a read.

The Rakess - Scarlett Peckham - M/F Romance (Steamy) - This is a love it or hate it kind of book that flips so many of the conventional romance tropes on its ear. It features a hard-drinking, hard-smoking, highly sexual woman who authors progressive literature and causes a scandal just by living her life meeting up with a mild-mannered reputation conscious Scottish Architect with two small children. Even the cover flips the script on the classic clinch cover. I loved it. A lot people didn’t. Other notes: Period appropriate sexism/hypocrisy/etc., CW: alcoholism, neighbors to lovers, adorable plot moppets.

Paranormal Romance

These are romances that feature a fantastical element. This can be anything from vampires to shifters to time travel. These also will often be series which may or may not continue with the same relationship throughout several books.

Hot Ghost - Annika Martin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A waitress finds love with the ghost who haunts the pier near her family’s restaurant. Other Notes: Major Character Death (It’s a Ghost Romance...), Everyday People Falling in Love, Novella.

Accepting Fate - Deanna Chase - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Fresh from a bad break up, a woman meets her soulmate at an art gallery opening. Together they have to work through their trauma and find out if they can be happy together. Other Notes: Childhood trauma, Fire Fighter Romance, Soulmates, Artists.

Gretel - Niamh Murphy - F/F Romance (Steamy) - A retelling of the fairy tale Hansel and Gretel with a very interesting twist. Other Notes: Age-Gap Romance, Novella.

One Shade of Grey - Monica Corwin - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Dorian Grey, yes that one, has a bit of a problem. He keeps seeing a woman who he thinks is the reincarnation of his lost love. But is she really? Or is he going insane? Other Notes: Positive Portrayal of Mental Illness, Classical Story Retelling, Billionaire Romance, Immortality

Tangled in Time - Barbara Longley - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Cursed to see spirits, Regan is approached by the spirit of a cursed Irish warrior. Now they must work together to lift his curse and fall in love along the way. Other Notes: Fae Romance, Time Travel Romance, Ghost Romance.

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites - Joy Demorra - M/M/F Romance (Steamy or Fluffy) - A vampire, a werewolf, and a magic user walk into a plot to end the world. Of course they have to fall in love along the way. Other Notes: Vampire Romance, Werewolf Romance, Magic User Romance, LBGT Fantasy Romance, Bisexual Romance, Postive Mental Illness representation, Marginalized Author (Disabled, Queer, Neurodivergent).

Erotic Romance

These are books where the sex is as much a part of the romance as the rest of the story. The plots here tend to be thinner, but they’re still present and important. This is not smut for smut’s sake. The relationship is important too. All of these are going to rate high on the steam.

After Hours - Lynda Aicher - M/F Romance - An executive assistant accidentally observes an after hours orgy in one of the boardrooms. Rather than be repulsed, she’s aroused. And up for more. Other Notes: Workplace Romance, Voyeurism, Exhibitionism, Mild BDSM, Boss/Subordinate Relationship.

Loving Maddie from A to Z - Kelly Jamison - M/M/F Romance - An outwardly happy couple looks to add something to their relationship by inviting their friend into their home and bed. Other Notes: Polyamory, BDSM, Big City Romance.

Ever After - Eden French - M/M/F Romance - An erotic modern retelling of the Cinderella fairy tale featuring billionaires, celebrities, and lots of hot sex. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Polyamory, Billionaire Romance, CW: Child Abuse.

Test Drive - N.S. Johnson - M/F Romance - A so-called good girl finds that she’s really not when she falls for the leader of a street racing crew. Other Notes: Polyamory, CW: Infidelity, Interracial Romance, Reverse Harem, Recreational Drug Use, Author of Color.

Other Historical Romance

These are romances set outside of the Regency but not during contemporary periods. A lot of old school romances tend to be this because medieval was big then. But it also includes everything up to 1990 too... Yeah... I know... I feel old.

Let It Shine - Alyssa Cole - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Set during the civil rights movement, this story follows two young people struggling to find their voice and love amidst the turmoil of the 1960s. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Period Appropriate Racism, Period Appropriate Anti-Semitism, Author of Color, Sports Romance, Novella.

In Pursuit Of... - Courtney Milan - M/M Romance (Steamy) - Set immediately after the American War for Independence it features a British soldier falling in love with a Black man who fought for the American side. Other Notes: Interracial Romance, Romantic Comedy, period appropriate racism, author of color, Novella.

Bringing Down the Duke - Evie Dunmore - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A rare female scholar tries to keep her scholarship going while also crusading for the rights of women in Victorian England. Other Notes: Alpha Hero, Clueless Heroine.

Contemporary Romance

These romances are set in the last 25 years and run the gamut of tropes.

Get a Life, Chloe Brown - Talia Hibbert - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Sick of living her life wrapped in tissue paper, Chloe Brown sets off to live a little. And to do that, she needs the help of her building’s manager. Other Notes: Plus-Sized Heroine, Interracial Romance, Disabled Characters, Positive Portrayal of Mental Illness, Marginalized Author (Black). As a note the sequel Take a Hint, Dani Brown is just as good and features a Bisexual Woman of Color.

Beg, Borrow, or Steal - Susie Tate - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - A medical student has to juggle the needs of being a single mother, a student, and paying the bills. And if that means she’s got to take off her clothes to do that, that’s what she’s going to do. Too bad she keeps falling asleep in class. Other Notes: No Sex (No really), But also Super sex positive, Student/Teacher Relationship, Adorable Plot Moppet.

Soft Hands - Ariel Bishop - M/M Romance (Steamy) - A professional Hockey Player ends up falling for the team trainer and massage therapist. Other Notes: Bisexual Rep, Sports Romance, Interracial Romance.

The Year We Fell Down - Sarina Bowen - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Two people who’ve suffered from accidents which have left them disabled find each other at a Harvard Expy. While one of the characters only has a temporary disability (broken leg) it still fucking counts. Other Notes: New Adult Romance, Disabled characters, Sports Romance, College Romance.

Small Town Romance

A subgenre of Contemporary Romance, these are books set in a small town and often the stakes tend to be pretty low. They can run the range of no-sex to lots of steam. They are also often VERY WHITE. While many are set in America, they can also be set elsewhere with Australia and the British Isles being the most common other settings.

Falling for Her Brother’s Best Friend - Noelle Adams - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Who doesn’t love a small town romance featuring characters that used to be childhood friends becoming more? Other Notes: New Adult Romance.

The Last One - Tawdra Kandle - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Meghan, an art student, and Sam, a farmer, and how they meet in small-town Georgia when Meghan comes to teach art over the summer to the kids in town…and ends up staying with Sam and his family. Other Notes: Alpha Male Hero.

If Wishes Were Horses - Caitlyn Lynch - M/F Romance (Steamy) - When an Aussie woman inherits partial ownership in a horse ranch in Ireland, sparks fly. Other Notes: Novella, Irish Romance.

Old School Romance

These are romances that were written before the rise of indie publishing where white men had the power and it shows. These are what people point to when they reduce romance novels to just “bodice rippers” but even then they weren’t just that.  BTW none of these books feature Fabio so suck it!

Skye O’Malley - Bertrice Small - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Daughter of a small Irish lord, this book follows Skye through her life and romances across England, Ireland, and even Algeria. It’s wild and all over the place and is not your typical romance novel. It ends on a HEA but there is a JOURNEY. But gods it’s one of my old-school faves. Other Notes: Major Character Death. Non-Con, Pirates, Interracial Romance, Historical Domain Characters, This is not your typical romance. I like the whole series... but that’s a me thing.

The Traveling Matchmaker Series - Marion Chesney/M.C Beaton - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - A housekeeper inherits a large sum of money and decides to use it to travel about England. Along the way, she makes matches for the other passengers of the stagecoach she’s traveling on while getting into all sorts of adventures. This series is pure fluff and I love it. Other Notes: Period appropriate xenophobia, Age Gap Romance.

Remembrance - Jude Deveraux - M/F Romance (Steamy) - A romance novelist discovers that the reason she hasn’t found love is because of an issue with her past life. So she decides to do something about it... only to find it’s just the very tip of the story. Other Notes: Time Travel Romance, Past Lives, Meta... so very meta.

Desire in Disguise - Rebecca Brandewyne - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Look this is set during the French Revolution and features duelling (quite literally) pirates. This is a wild ride and it’s so old school it hurts. Other Notes: Alpha hero, mistaken identity, enemies to lovers, spies, pirates, But oh so many problematic tropes. This looks to be out of print... so check your local library.

Gentle Warrior - Julie Garwood - M/F Romance (Steamy) - Set right after the Norman Invasion of England, this features a Norman Lord who was granted an Anglo-Saxon wife and all of the drama that comes with. Note... this is the first Romance Novel I ever read.. My mother bought it for me when it was newish -- in 1987. Other Notes: CW: Rape, Arranged Marriage, Non-conventionally Attractive Hero.

Books that check all of the boxes of Romance but aren’t Labeled as Romance because Sexism.

Romance isn’t about sex. There’s lots of books with explicit sex in them that aren’t Romance and several with a strong romantic relationship that drives the plot which ends happily and satisfying. But sexism is a thing and so here we are.

The Princess Bride - William Goldman - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - You’ve probably seen the movie. The book is also fun. And since the romance is central to the plot AND the ending is a happy one (especially in the movie) it qualifies.

The Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - Look who would have thought that in a book about kids killing each other and the violence of war that Romance would play that big of a role? But it does. And it is. And it’s important.

Katherine - Anya Seton - M/F Romance (Fluffy) - This could feasibly go into Old School Romance, but apparently the publishers have decided to downplay the actual romance and try to sell this as literature. It follows the real-life Romance between Katherine Swineford and the Duke of Lancaster. 

Did we leave off any of your favorites? It’s probably because we haven’t read them! We always like recs, especially featuring marginalized authors or main characters with marginalized identities.

If you like this kind of thing, consider leaving us a tip in our Ko-Fi!

[kittinoir]

Phantoms Ch. 13

Read on Ao3

“Wake up.”

Chloe ignored the voice. She’d learned a while ago it wasn’t real, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy the company. She tried not to dwell on that too much. She’d deal with her trauma responses once she was no longer experiencing the trauma.

But it was persistent today.

“Chloe,” it came again. “Wake up”.

This time, she felt something touch her shoulder. That was new. How many days had it been since she’d eaten now?

“Dammit, Chloe, I’ll carry you out of here if I have to, but I really don’t want to.”

She laughed at that, a choked rasping sound that scraped from her parched throat - another thing she was trying not to think about. “Liar,” she whispered.

“Please,” the voice begged, closer this time. Cool hands touched her wrists, her cheek. “Please, Chloe. Get up.”

That caught her attention. The voice had cajoled her, berated her, taunted her, but it had never begged before.

She cracked an eyelid, squinting against the soft glow of the sun lamps that lit the space. “…Felix?”

A rough laugh, like rocks scraping together. “Yes.”

“You’re here?” Chloe asked, coming more fully awake. She felt like she couldn’t pull the scattered pieces of her mind together long enough to form a thought. “You came?”

“Of course I came,” he said as he helped her slowly sit up. “Why wouldn’t I come?”

“Thought it might be…a waste of your time,” she breathed. She didn’t mean to hurt him; his last words were the only thing she’d managed to hold onto, and the only thing that came easily now. She felt her eyelids slide closed again, but she was too tired to do anything about it.

“That was a lie,” Koira said quietly. He was close enough she could feel the warmth, the realness of him. “A lie that I told myself so I wouldn’t get attached.”

Chloe frowned, dragging her eyes open long enough to seek his face. It was close, closer than he’d ever been. “Attached?”

“I would love to have an at-length conversation in the ways I find you completely captivating,” Koira said as Viperion rounded a corner, “But now is hardly the time. We have to get out of here.”

“I’ve tried,” Chloe said, trying to ignore how much more awake she felt now - and how hard her heart was pounding. “Gabriel didn’t just settle for taking my Miraculous.” She tugged on the reinforced steel chain and manacle around her left wrist.

“Nothing Chat Noir can’t take care of,” Viperion suggested before his transformation wore off and Zazz reappeared. Five minutes already. Hopefully Alya wasn’t having any trouble keeping their illusions lively. “Here you are.” Luka pulled a pack of goldfish crackers from the pocket of his hoodie and opened it for his kwami.

Zazz hadn’t taken more than two bites before a scream tore through the room.

“NO!”

Luka was already running, calling on his transformation as he went, but a dim light went off in Chloe’s head: whatever it was, it was already too late - Viperion’s timer had run out.

“Doesn’t sound good,” she said, willing herself to alertness.

“It never does with this bunch,” Koira muttered. “Either way, time to go.”

He didn’t give her time to brace herself. In a matter of seconds, Koira had raised his hammer over his head and brought it down in a shining arc to where the chain was attached to the wall.

“Huh,” Koira said, examining the nearly unmarked metal. “Gabriel’s talents are wasted on supervillainry.”

“Got a plan B?”

“That was plan B.”

“So now what?”

Koira’s face was grim. “Back to plan A. Chat Noir!”

But it was Ryuuko who took shape out of thin air, brandishing her katana. “We’ve lost him.”

Chloe blinked, unable to make sense of the absurd statement.

“Lost who?” Koira said with a frown.

“Chat Noir,” Ryuuko ground out. “Akuma.”

“You brought him here?” Chloe demanded as Ryuuko’s words finally clicked. “You brought him here?!”

“Do you think that anything short of Gabriel’s magical manacles would have kept him away?” Koira growled. “Is there a better way to find out your father’s a supervillain?”

“There might have been a better setting,” Chloe snapped. “Preferably one where I’m not chained to a wall.”

“I’ll try to make other arrangements next time,” Koira snarled before looking up at Ryuuko. “What are we dealing with then?”

“It’s hard to…he looks the same, but in white.

Chloe’s brow creased. “So he’s…Chat…Blanc?”

“Unlimited cataclysms,” Koira murmured. “Sounds fun.”

“Don’t mock him,” Ryuuko snapped, her fingers tightening on her katana. “He’s in pain.” And then she was gone, darting back into the fight they could still hear carrying on.

“Yeah, well, we’re all going to be in pain if he gets his hands on us,” Koira muttered to no one in particular.

“We need the Bee Miraculous back,” Chloe said, tugging weakly on her chain. “If I can just incapacitate him - ”

“Are you joking?” Koira demanded, rounding on her. “You’re in no condition to fight.”

“I’m not in any hurry to die, either!”

“KOIRA!”

Viperion’s shout was the only warning they got. Koira seized it. Instead of calling his power like he wanted to, he yanked Chloe to his chest and pressed them both up against the wall. He pulled her chain taut and whispered a prayer to whatever god might be listening. For the briefest moment, he felt Chloe curl into him, her body warm and real and whole against his.

Then the explosion sent them both flying in a shower of stone rubble.

He didn’t loosen his grip on Chloe once, not even as he landed on his shoulder hard enough he heard something crack. He grunted in pain as they skidded across the stone floor.

“Felix? Felix!”

Koira shook his head clear and realized Chloe was struggling against the grip he still held her in. He forced himself to relax, his muscles aching with the strain.

“Ok, not as much fun as previously anticipated,” he gasped out as he hauled himself into a sitting position.

“You idiot!” she shouted, grabbing the fur ruff at his neck. The tail of the chain still attached to her rattled against the floor. “What did you think you were doing!”

“Plan A,” Koira managed, “With some modifications.”

“He nearly took my arm off!”

“As if I would let you get hurt,” he said, wrapping his fingers around her free wrist.

You already did. Chloe finally blinked as her left hand drifted back down to her lap, the words waiting on her tongue. She didn’t need to say them; she could see that he knew it, too.

“They need help,” she said instead as another blast rocked the room. “Go. I can take care of myself.”

Koira made a face, his gaze darting pointedly down to the manacle still on her wrist, but didn’t mention it as his fingers slipped from her skin. “Do I need to tell you to get as far away from here as fast as you can?”

“I’m dehydrated, not stupid,” Chloe snapped. Koira just gave one last exasperated shake of his head before he stood and darted into the fray.

No, he did not need to tell her to run. It would have been a waste of time - she wasn’t going anywhere. Miraculous or no, she was still Queen Bee, and she owed Gabriel for his hospitality.

Chloe remained in a crouch as she scuttled forward towards the sounds of the fight. Her joints ached in protest and every beat of her heart begged her to lie down. She ignored them.

She paused when she was close enough she could see shadows dancing just on the other side of the table she was behind. If she remembered correctly, they were battling it out in the atrium where she’d first entered.

Ryuuko was talking. “Koira, if you use Full Counter - ”

“No!” Viperion gasped as he dodged a cataclysm. “He’s too powerful like this. It’ll kill him!”

Chloe shivered. How many times had Viperion reset their timer already? How many of them had died?

“I’m open to other ideas,” Koira said.

“We’re running out of time!” Ladybug shouted over the din. “I need to figure out my Lucky Charm.”

“Go,” she heard Viperion say. “We can keep him busy for a few minutes.”

Before Ladybug could respond, a horrible laugh echoed through the room, quiet at first, then manic. “You’ll keep me busy? I’m going to tear you apart!”

Chloe’s heart thudded in her chest. Adrien. She had never heard him sound like that before. Akumatized or not…something had broken in him. No wonder Hawk Moth had seized this opportunity. No wonder Adrien hadn’t been able to fight back. Perhaps she’d been wrong about the setting. Maybe keeping him contained in this basement cavern was for the best.

Suddenly, Ladybug was there, rolling into a crouch after vaulting over the table.

“Chloe!” Ladybug blurted, her eyes going wide. “What…you’re ok!” She frowned. “You need to get out of here. It isn’t safe.”

Even as she spoke, Chloe didn’t miss the way Ladybug kept fiddling with her Lucky Charm, a pair of bolt cutters, or the wild, haunted look in her eyes. Abruptly, Ladybug zeroed in on the chain coiled at Chloe’s feet.

“You! That’s why I couldn’t figure it out.”

“Me?”

“These must have been to free you from the wall,” Ladybug said. “We need you to win.”

Chloe couldn’t meet Ladybug’s eyes as she said, “Koira and Chat Noir kind of already took care of it, but, Ladybug…Hawk Moth took my Miraculous.”

“It’s still you, Chloe,” Ladybug insisted, leaning in to lay a hand on Chloe’s shoulder. “I don’t know how exactly, but - ”

“Ladybug!” Chloe interrupted. Ladybug’s sudden closeness had given her a view of the heroine’s ears.“Your earrings! You’re going to detransform.”

Ladybug grit her teeth in frustration. “That’s ok. It was time for a new Lucky Charm anyway. Miraculous Ladybug!”

Ladybug sent the Lucky Charm skittering away from them across the floor. It burst into thousands of glowing Ladybug’s that swept the room, repairing the damage done. Chloe heard the surprised gasps of their teammates as their injuries were healed.

No sooner had the ladybugs finished a final sweep of the room then did Ladybug’s transformation itself dissolve. Yards of pale pink fabric spilled out around her, and Chloe was surprised to see she had her hair down for once.

“You dressed up for a rescue mission?” Chloe whispered as Marinette caught an exhausted Tikki in her palm.

“Gabriel’s charity auction,” Marinette said by way of explanation. “Seemed like the best time to sneak in. We were supposed to be ghosts.”

Chloe thought on it. “I’ve been here for four days then.”

“I’m sorry. We only found out this morning. The teacher’s said you were down with some kind of flu - I guess a lie from your father,” Marinette said bitterly. “Koira’s the only reason we knew to look.”

“Koira?”

“I guess he got your message the next time he finally transformed,” Marinette said as she watched Tikki finish her cookie. “He was manic. I’m surprised he even bothered to tell us first.”

Chloe tried to ignore the way her heart stumbled at that. Even after their fight, he’d kept his promise.

And then the table vanished.

Chloe flinched as it exploded against a nearby wall and shrapnel went whipping through the room. She felt some of it bite into her arm and leg. A white-hot line scored her cheek where she was sure another piece had narrowly missed her eye.

“Hiding, my love? That hurts.”

He was the most horrible thing Chloe had ever seen, a twisted replica of her friend. The only bit of colour in the sea of white were ice-chip blue eyes that were devoid of anything but rage. He was Adrien, but not. Adrien never got angry. Adrien was never violent. And Adrien had certainly never looked at Marinette like that - like he would devour her whole.

“Run!”

Marinette had grabbed Chloe by the arm and was sprinting back the way Chloe had come before she could even fully understand what had happened. Her chain clanked noisily on the floor as they ran, seeming to urge them to go fast, faster.

“Go,” Chloe panted, dizzy with the exertion. “I’m just slowing you down. You need to transform, not run.”

“I can do both,” Marinette huffed. “Tikki - !”

An explosion rocked the floor before Marinette could finish, sending both girls flying. Chloe felt the air rush from her lungs as she hit the floor and was left gasping, in too much pain to breathe in again. Her lungs squeezed.

She screwed her eyes shut, focusing on slowly taking a deep breath through the pain, even as her ribs protested. Again. Again. Again.

When Chloe could finally breathe through the worst of it, she pushed herself back up and opened her eyes to what she instantly knew would give her nightmares for weeks to come:

Marinette in her beautiful pink gown, the ribbon trailing from her hair, caught up against Chat Blanc with her back to his chest, his hand cupping her cheek, and no one to help.

[ojcobsessed]

oliver jackson-cohen for flaunt magazine, by jessica romoff, july 2019

***

The first horror movie I ever saw was The Exorcist on my grandmother’s RCA console TV, midnight on Christmas Eve. My grandmother is a Catholic Portuguese woman who was devout to cross stitching and Jesus Christ, resulting in crucifixes nailed into every wall of the living room. So, as every flash and jolt from the TV screen would animate the tortured figurines with chilling white light, I prepared in panic and thrill for each one to flip upside down.

Not only did this movie ignite my passionate love for horror, but actor Oliver Jackson Cohen’s passion as well. Mine lead me to accumulating random 70’s slasher movie memorabilia and sporadic nightmares, while Cohen’s lead him to eventually being the star of hit Netflix horror miniseries The Haunting of Hill House as his character Luke Crain, with a few nightmares as well. The 10 episode show is a modern reimagining of Shirley Jackson’s novel “Hill House” and follows the Crain family during the summer they lived in the haunted home, and flashes forward on their lives decades after the tragic events.

During a phone interview with him, I learned Cohen is much more than just a dedicated actor with a jawline that can cut glass; Cohen is a whirlpool of empathy, an artist who gushes his heart into everything he does, and demands that his character Luke, and those battling with similar struggles, are portrayed more than just their addiction.

With your role in last season, I was really impressed by how you portrayed a character with drug addiction, and how you refrained from making him a stereotypical, one dimensional person - and I was wondering how you avoided leaning on this cliche when approaching Luke?

Thank you, number one, I think we all have seen drug addicts portrayed in movies and tv shows before. Most of the time, they are always portrayed as their addiction, and I don’t think that’s very true for anyone who knows anyone who has substance abuse problems; there is actually a fucking person there. So it was very clear from the get-go that I had a responsibility to present a fully formed human being, and they actually brought in a specific writer to write Luke’s character- who was a heroin addict in recovery. I said to Mike, the director and creator of the show - before we even started that it’s very important that Luke is the sum of all his parts and is not just his addiction. So I think that the way I approached it, is that when I first began doing all the research and the pre-work before we started filming, I started looking at documentaries, because I had never done heroin before, so I thought, Oh I’ll start looking at documentaries - but then I realized quite early on that that was putting a judgement on him. And I don’t think it’s fair - because behind anyone who has fallen into this trap is someone who is deeply struggling. And I felt it - I felt a huge amount of, not pressure, but a need to show the person behind the addiction and show the person who is actually struggling, and why he had become an addict. So I focused on that - so I spent no time whatsoever seeing Lucas as a drug addict; I saw him as someone who was struggling to come to terms with everything that he had experienced and happened in his life. And so I focused on anyone who is trying to numb themselves, that know they’re running away from something. So I built up the terror of that, instead of focusing on “I need my fix.”

Was there something that happened in your own life, that was out of your control and not your fault, but regardless someone judged you because of that - perhaps driving your connection to Luke’s character?

Oh 100 percent, and that’s what is so interesting, because I don’t have a substance abuse problem - but I think that out of all the characters I have ever played in the past 10 years, there’s the most of me in Luke. Like, all of that stuff of just trying to function, and the vulnerability, and just trying to be normal, and being so ashamed - all of that is my own shit, and so [laughs] I didn’t need to be a heroin addict to understand the pain that he was going through, so, so much. I think it’s incredible getting to play someone like that because, in a weird way it felt like therapy - I was able to go to work everyday and just be all the parts of myself. I think it’s interesting as well for men, there’s this whole thing about having to be a certain way, having to always be strong, and I think inherently a lot of people do feel incredibly fragile. So all of that stuff of Luke is me, and my stuff, and I didn’t have to pretend - I just got to go to work and be as vulnerable as I feel. You know we all have incredibly complicated lives and incredibly complicated upbringings,  and I used all of my stuff: I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple of years ago so all of that is in there with Luke - and it felt incredibly cathartic to be able to kind of put it all out there and be there.

When your work is something that is so emotionally rigorous, and strenuous, it must be very draining dedicating yourself to a character who is really struggling his whole life  - How do you unwind and decompress from this intensity?

[Laughs] I….you know what, I’m not very good at it. I feel like I’m one of those people, I’m sort of with the school of thought that you either go to work and you fucking do it  - and you do it for real, or go home. I’m not into this whole I’ll just pretend! thing, so it’s probably not the healthiest way of working. But I feel it’s necessary, and then I don’t know how to handle it. There were a couple of days on set where specifically we were filming all of Luke’s episodes or the stuff where he’s sort of roaming the streets - that got way too intense. We would rap at 6 am and I would go back to my house and sleep for a bit, and then wake up and just be so out of sorts: I would have to call people at home to reassure me that everything was okay.

I imagine the intensity can be overwhelming

Yeah, I mean, it sounds really wonky - but I think that when you’re messing around with stuff like that, and you’re tricking your brain into thinking something is real, and then on top of that you’re drawing from your own personal well of shit that probably should be kept untouched - it’s gonna be messy at times. So yeah, it gets… it did get a little hairy. But again I felt that it was important - and I think all of us across the board in the cast felt that it was so important to do that - to give Luke a voice. And what’s been so interesting when the show came out, it was so overwhelming, the response, specifically from people that have struggled with addiction. And it was so warming to hear these stories from people, so I think it was necessary for all of us as actors to go to those dark parts of ourselves, and put that out on screen.

Is there something that you wish you knew before you began acting in a horror TV series? Or about a TV series with intense family drama with horror influence?

Hm..I don’t know. Just… it’s all good. [laughs] it’s gonna be all good.

Honestly, that’s pretty solid universal advice. And I was wondering, are you a fan of horror in general?

Yes! Huge

And is this a genre that you want to continue with?

Yes, I had never done anything horror before, so this was a dream. I remember I watched The Exorcist when I was like eight or something, and it completely terrified me - and I still to this day have nightmares about it. I think what’s so clever about horror, and I think specifically with what Mike has done on our show, it becomes a metaphor for something else. So specifically with Hill House, if you take away the house and all the ghosts and all the horror elements, it’s about childhood trauma. So you can swap out what all those kids went through, the horror they experienced, can be swaped out for sexual abuse, or physical abuse, or anything like that. So you manage to kind of navigate all of these horrific things we kind of don’t want to look at, in the veil of ghosts, so it becomes palatable for an audience. I never knew this, Netflix told me this, that horror is the most watched genre in the whole world.

Really!?

Across the board, yeah! I thought it would be comedy. But that’s why Netflix made the show. Because they realized that actually there was such a massive market for horror. So yeah, a really long winded answer to your short question - yes I was a fan of horror, I always have been.

Me too! I’ve never thought about how horror can be a metaphor for trauma. That’s so fascinating. Just one last question - I know that you can’t say too much about the second season… right? Or they’ll shoot you.

Right [laughs]

So, see if you can answer this: if Season 1 and Season 2 were mythical creatures, what would they be?

[Laughs] What would they be… ahhh...I genuinely don’t know how to answer that question. They’re both just beasts from the darkest corners of our minds. Season 1…. Uh… what I can say - is that season 1 I believe was amazing, and with what they’re doing with season 2 is even…. More incredible.