#if you love 2 outta 3 go watch it

[queerpiratebrainrot]

My Lady Jane is what you get when you put bbc's Merlin, Reign and Our Flag Means Death into the laundry and use Narrator as the detergent

[plutesboots]

Nothin like my favorite streamers playing Tunic to get me off my ass finally like "Oh shit I have to play Tunic!!!"

[urfriendlywriter]

20 cutee summer prompts for couples:

(feel free to use! req by @stasyalovem tag me when u all writeee<33) (listen to espresso by sabrina while reading this kekeke)

beach dates!!

^ tackling and splashing water at one another at the beachhh

going on picnic dates (me when kekeke)

wearing sun-dresses and your partner absolutely can't get enough of it. ♡

cycling at sunset togetherrrr

dancing around a bonfire <3

laying on their chest while watching the sunriseee (honestly, manifesting this for me n mr. japan in the future)

laying in bed all dayyy together with fans on

going out to get ice-cream at 2 am (this has got to be a love language)

barbecuing / grilling meat togetherrr

when one loves to cuddle and the other hates feeling sticky

unwinding by swimming together at night (tsitp vibes ikik)

"i know the weather is hot, but you're so much hotter, babe" ".... why did you have to be so cringe--"

when they wear tank-tops while doing manly labor and you're just there admiring the sight :)) omw to ask mr. japan to do this and seduce me haha..

accidentally going to a horrendous summer party and finding each other and going, "we gotta get outta this!"

^ "should i fake collapse? u do cpr then lift me, then we'll make it to our car!"

"why won't you hug meee?" "sweetheart, i love you, but you're sweaty and disgusting!!" "ok then join the club, let's be sweaty and disgusting togeth-" *gets smacked on the face by a thrown pillow*

watching movies all night longgg

sprawling on the floor like a starfish in the middle of the living room with all fans at high speed

summer person x winter person- "ahhh i love the sun, my god, look at the sky, it's beautiful-" "*mimics* my god, look at the sky, it's-- my ass. i hate this. ahhh, i hate this."

[hyperfixatedbastard]

how to get the First Man™ out of bed

Soft!Adam x GN!Reader

Turns out the 'First Man' himself is actually super clingy. And he is a big baby when it comes to getting up in the mornings. Good luck convincing him to get his ass outta bed!

Word Count: 1.1k

WARNINGS: mentions of sex, implied sexual content, withholding sex, kissing (it's still SFW!)

A/N: Here is the Adam x Reader fluff, finally! I didn't mean for this to have so much sex-adjacent content but I think that's just too integral to Adam's character lmao. It's still SFW though so it's fineee. I didn't mean for the 'withholding sex' part to be manipulative, it's all fun n' games here, so apologies if it comes across as too serious. (It was originally 'one week', not 'one day' - I changed it just in case lol)

Dividers

Beneath the douchebag exterior of the First Man™, Adam’s really just a big ol’ softie. Just deep, deep, deep down. It took a long time to find that part of him, but as his partner, you’re one of the only people that even knows this side of him exists.

One thing you really hadn’t expected from the man is how clingy he can get—it probably has something to do with the abandonment issues, but you’ve never tried to broach that subject. It’s currently early in the morning, and Adam doesn’t seem to plan on letting go of you anytime soon. You’re cuddled up with him in bed, his mask and robes absent as he sleeps. His wings are wrapped around you like a protective blanket. And now you have to try and convince his stubborn ass to get the fuck up. You’ve already been awake for about fifteen minutes, hoping your boyfriend will wake up on his own, but of course, that’s not going to happen. 

Getting Adam out of bed is always a struggle. Despite the promotion of Heaven as the ‘perfect place’ with ‘no bad days,’ there’s still a schedule to abide by, and angels still need sleep. And Adam really hates those damn schedules, and loves his beauty sleep. There are a multitude of ways to try and get him out of bed, and every morning is a guessing game to see which one will work.

1. Be sweet and try to gently encourage him to get out of bed.

“Adam, babe,” you murmur softly, opting for a gentle approach this time around. You pat his arms where they’re wrapped securely around your waist—you would try to get a look at his face, but he’s spooning you from behind and giving you absolutely zero wiggle room. “You gotta get up, we have shit to do.”

“Mm…fuck off,” Adam grumbles, only tightening his hold on you and nuzzling his face into the nape of your neck. Which was about what you expected.

2. Be a little assertive.

“Adam, c’mon,” you warn in an attempt to convince him to get the fuck up. “I’ve already given you an extra fifteen minutes.”

“Then gimme fifteen more,” he insists, his voice sounding almost whiny. His childishness would be adorable if you didn’t actually have shit to do today. 

3. Be a little more assertive.

You sigh. It’s never easy with this asshole. “Adam.”

The angel in question makes a little ‘mmpf’ sound into your back.

“Get the fuck up.”

He doesn’t even respond this time—he just holds you tighter, his wings copying his arms and trapping you in his embrace.

4. Bribery.

Actually, fuck no. You refuse to bribe him again. He’s already gotten that out of you several times before, getting anything from sex to food to picking what movie you two watch that night (you’ve watched Die Hard three times this week alone)

No, this is a game you are not losing this time.

5. Threats.

“Okay, you’ve got three options,” you offer, your voice less stern than your last attempt but not as soft as your first. “One: you get up.”

Adam makes another noncommittal little grunt of acknowledgment.

“Two: you don’t get up, and Lute breaks into our apartment again to drag your ass out of bed.”

He lets out a sound that sounds kind of like a chuckle, but it’s muffled against the back of your neck, so it’s hard to tell. But he’s clearly not intimidated by the warning.

“Three: you don’t get up and we don’t fuck tonight.”

That gets him. He tenses up for a moment before scoffing in disbelief. “Yeah, right, like you could go a day without this dick.”

A smirk pulls at your lips. You’ve got him now. “Try me.”

Adam’s silent for nearly a full minute. He has a much higher libido than you, and he knows you’d be fine without sex for a day. Him, on the other hand? He’s got a high sex drive and is downright spoiled. 

You’re worried he’s fallen back asleep, but eventually, he sighs. His wings unfurl and his grip around you loosens, though not letting go entirely. “Fineee,” he groans dramatically. “But only because I don’t wanna deprive you of my amazing dick.”

You chuckle and turn to face him, now that you have the ability to actually move. His hair’s all messy, as it usually is, and his golden eyes are just barely cracked open. 

“Oh, how generous of you,” you joke, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He instinctively pushes his face into your palm ever so slightly. 

“I know, I’m fucking great,” he agrees, a slight smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. He knows you were being sarcastic, but he’ll turn damn near anything into a compliment that strokes his ego.

You just roll your eyes at his response, albeit fondly. He’s a dumbass, but he’s your dumbass.

“Alright, you big baby, time to get up,” you tease, moving to sit up before his arms tighten around you once more, pulling you back down.

“Hey—” you start, but are immediately cut off by a pair of lips on yours. His lips move slowly and languidly along with yours, and you’re all too happy to reciprocate.

You sigh into the kiss, unable to stop yourself from smiling against Adam’s lips. There’s a big difference between your usual hungry, eager make-outs and the sweet, lazy kisses you get when he’s all soft and sleepy. Both are great, but you really savor these tender, gentle moments with him. In the mornings, he’s too tired to keep up that arrogant ‘too cool for all that mushy, affectionate shit’ persona. And while you love him all the time, sleepy Adam definitely holds a special place in your heart.

He’s smiling when he lets you pull away. The kiss wasn’t a particularly long one, but you could’ve let it go on forever. But you’d be one hell of a hypocrite if you stayed in bed just to kiss your boyfriend after making such a point to get his ass out of bed.

“Now are you ready to get up?” you ask softly, still basking in the warmth of his embrace and the memory of his lips on yours.

“Mm…” Adam hums in consideration. His smile quickly turns to a smirk as he tightens his hold on you yet again and wraps his wings around you. “No.”

“Oh, for the love of—”

⋆⋅☆⋅⋆

Needless to say, you do not stay true to your word about the consequences of Adam not getting out of bed. And Lute does, in fact, break into your apartment half an hour later to be confronted with a sight she sees far too often for her liking. 

Fuck him for being so damn stubborn. Literally.

Taglist - @3sire-777

[ghostaholics]

𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐍 '𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓' 𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

➸ PAIRING: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x fem!Reader

➸ CHOKING: he doesn't squeeze that hard – just applies enough pressure the way you like it until that familiar glassy-eyed expression falls over your face, something lust-addled; he always uses his left arm, the one that's all tatted up, consists of intricate pieces he's collected over time until it's formed an elaborate black and white collage that’s inked into his skin – he enjoys seeing how you try to enclose two hands over the entirety of his muscled forearm but can't quite round off the circumference of it, not even trying to get him to pry his grip from your throat, but to keep him there and occasionally prompt him for a little bit more constriction if you need it (❝ Look so fuckin' good like this, don’t you love? ❞)

➸ FAVORITE POSITIONS: anything that can get him as deep inside you as possible, bottomed-out so that he can watch you take every thick inch of him which includes, but is not limited to

(1) mating press or any other variation of it – basically an aggressive 'missionary-style' that gives him the advantage of pile-driving into you, will try to ease your legs onto his shoulders for as long as you can handle it; also likes this because he can still see your eyes roll back in between thrusts when he just grinds into your cunt for a bit while he takes a break and plays with your clit (❝ Greedy cunt's just swallowin' me whole, innit? ❞)

(2) face-down, ass-up - has to pull on your hair a little so you bring your head up to make sure your mouth's not muffled by the pillow (he needs to hear each long, drawn-out moan he can get from you every time he brushes up against that special spot inside you); very primal and powerful, allows him the opportunity to see the arch of your back like this while he's gripping onto your hips for leverage but it's also just so fucking tight and deep (❝ You can take it all, can't you, sweetheart? Yeah, that's my girl. ❞)

➸ DIRTY TALK: typically more reserved in day-to-day conversation, had to work up to being vocal in the bedroom, which now consists of a diverse mixture of low groans, lots of swearing (fuck, shite, or whatever other word that accurately expresses everything he's feeling when he hasn't got a single coherent bloody thought at the moment), as well as any filth like

❝ Gotta stretch you out – work you open on my fingers… Y’know it’d be a shame to wreck this tight, little cunt before I’ve had my fill. ❞

❝ Can’t wait ‘til you milk every last drop of cum from my cock, love. ❞

❝ Where’d your manners go? Say ‘please.’ Let me hear you beg for it. ❞

❝ Christ, I’m gonna flood this fuckin’ cunt. ❞

❝ Do I look like I’m done? Lettin’ my cum leak out… I don’t think so sweetheart. Gotta fuck it back into you now. ❞

❝ Again – love, I'm not stopping until I get another one outta you. So be a good girl and fuckin' come for me. ❞

➸ SPITTING: has a few places he’s fond of; will lift up his mask just above his mouth in order to make it happen

(1) in your mouth, tongue held out in anticipation – he discovers that you’ve got a thing for spit play after a particularly hungry and feverish kiss that has him starving for you, swallowing down your moans, and when he pulls away there’s sort of a wet, glossy little sheen left behind on your lips that you run your tongue over; so, you ask him if he can spit in your mouth because you feel like you need more than just a kiss – he obliges because it reminds him of his cum on your tongue after he asks you where you want him to finish sometimes

(2) on your pussy – absolutely no valid reason for this other than the fact that he really likes rubbing his spit into your cunt and watching it mix with the slickness in between your legs just to make an even bigger mess than the one that’s already there

(3) in his hand, covering his palm – uses it to coat his cock with a few passes over the length of it with his fist, a few harsh tugs at his shaft and a smear of his precum at the head; doesn't really have to because you're wet enough (still wishes he had the opportunity to get you completely fucking soaked, except the circumstances won't allow it), but he's pressed for time, knows it won't be better than the natural lubrication of your own arousal and doesn't care too much since the idea of it makes him that much harder right before he slides on home into your cunt

➸ EATING YOU OUT: he loves it, needs it; heaven between your legs, groans whenever he gets a taste of you, can't resist grabbing handfuls of your ass to bring you impossibly closer to his mouth, tongue flattening and stroking and licking its way into your cunt as you rock down, hips rolling, squirming under the iron-clad grip he's got on your thighs – craves the hot slick rushing out of you, doesn't want to waste a single drop but can't control the way your orgasm liquefies into a sticky and clear wetness that paints his lips and his chin (❝ C’mere. Gonna have you make a mess on my face. ❞ )

➸ DACRYPHILIA: when you're wrought with overstimulation, so, so sensitive after he's ripped the first few orgasms from you – tears prick at the corner of your eyes, a stinging, burning sensation growing in your throat as you try to tamp it down until the first wayward drops of brackish water escape, rolling over your cheeks unsolicited not because the sex hurt but because it was too good and you can't sort out the knotted tangle of emotions you harbor for simon; he asks in a rough and hoarse voice if you're okay, brushes the tears away in a questioning gesture with scarred knuckles until you admit exactly what the cause is, which elicits a deep moan from him signaling that he might just give you another reason to cry

➸ TEASING: rubs the head of his cock against the entrance of your awaiting cunt, back and forth, slowly, just so he can hear you whining impatiently for him to put it in because you hate the feeling of being empty; maybe you should ask nicely, try being polite – it might be the solution to putting an end to your misery

[waffledforbreakfast]

I'm Busy! - [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER]

If you tell them you’re busy

Staring: Rin, Shidou, Sae, Niko, Kaiser, Ness, Otoya, Karasu, Reo

[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

>Rin 

He left you on read- (almost threw his phone across the room)

At first he tried to convince himself he didn’t care, but he was moody the whole day

[image02]

Rin doesn’t usually offer to help you, if anything you’d have to beg him

And with Rin’s help, surly you’ll be able to finish the project quicker, so you excepted 

“Damn- say less” you typed quickly, looking forward to the game tomorrow

Rin was just happy you’ll watch him, he’d never admit that though 🤭

>Shidou

Not even 2 seconds after you sent the second text he was out the door.

I’m not sure if what he did was legal, but he did it for you, so we’ll let it slide ;)

>Sae

Sae wasn’t planning on going out with you, but how dare you miss his game? 

He was pretty close to either calling shidou to beat your friend up, or straight up making the team reschedule 

He gave your friend $50 so that you wouldn’t feel bad LOL

>Niko

He (almost) cried

Told himself to do his best nonetheless

Luckily, you were able to make it to the second half

He was so so happy, smiled the rest of the game

Everyone was wondering why his performance skyrocketed 

Thanked you so much after, you felt bad that you missed the first half

>Kaiser

If you did cancel on your friend, he’d be so proud

Literally so smug for the rest of day, taking you out after the game

“See? I told you you should cancel on them, aren’t you having more fun with me?”

If you didn’t/weren’t able to go to his game, he’d sulk for a bit, then just be pissed during the game

He beat the crap outta the opponents, everyone (including his teammates and Ness) were scared

Was kinda mad at you for skipping, demanded that you go to every one of next games

>Ness

Ness was so sad :c 

He pulled a Reo and picked at his toothbrush 

“[Y/N] will come to my game…. [Y/N] hates me… [Y/N] loves me…. But not more than her friend…”

“Ness- what are you doing??” - Kaiser

You mentioned the game to your friend, so you guys cut it short and both went to watch him play

The switch up in Ness’ mood- even Kaiser was stressed…

He ran up and gave you a hug right after the game, “You came :D”

Treated you out to food after, paid for EVERYTHING

>Otoya

A/N: in this particular scenario, I see you guys as close friends that might be dating (your choice)

He pouted the rest of the day and barely wanted to play

Felt so betrayed LOL

>Karasu

In return for Otoya “persuading” the teacher, he had to tell him that he liked you…

Karasu kept getting teased for it, but hey, you went to his game, so it was a fair trade in his mind

(Don’t ask how Otoya got with a teacher, you don’t wanna know…

>Reo

You don’t even need a job when you have Reo

He doesn’t mind spoiling you either, he LOVES it

A/N: The more I look at my past(and present) work the more i cringe.

And that's why I don't proof read :3

[jungkookschin]

older pt 2

think i need someone older, just a little bit colder, take the weight off your shoulders

synopsis: you're childish, delusional, and you don't know how to accept love. but yes, you will in fact hook up with jungkook before you decide to never speak to him again.

word count: 11k

pairing: older!jungkook x afab reader

genre: age gap au (seven years), SMUT, social media au!!!, childhood acquaintance au, fluff, comedy, angsty, outta pocket, alludes to sexual innuendoes warnings: character death (not jk or y/n), cursing, nudity,

author's note: jungkook is definitely colder in this 😄 yall... i dont think ur gonna like this one 😭✋ idk if there is any redeeming their relationship after this one lmao fkfoskd

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Jungkook feels his heart sink  as he watches your silhouette disappear into the distance.  He immediately lifts his gaze to the stars, its cheerful twinkling almost mocking the way he has to physically clench his hand over his heart to assuage the aching pain in his chest. He releases a deep sigh and scrunches his facial features, desperately trying to halt the tears accumulating in his pretty eyes. 

It’s not that Jungkook can’t handle rejection. He can. His life experiences surmount yours greatly and he’s been rejected by potential employers, sports teams, his dream school. His masculinity isn’t tarnished by your rejection because he knows love isn’t something to be ashamed of. A love as pure, innocent, and unconditional as his? Expressing that would never be something he would ever regret. 

Rather, he regrets putting it off for so long, dragging you on a string instead of explicitly letting you know how deep his feelings run. He had his reasons, though. You were emotionally vulnerable and he didn’t want to take advantage of that.  The thought makes him want to roll his eyes into his skull because the situation is difficult and there’s never a correct answer. There's nothing he can do. 

Head empty, he thinks he watches the waves crash onto the shore for hours, a cigarette between his fingers and smoke filling his lungs as he attempts to calm his erratic cardiac palpitations. The cold breeze of the night engulfs him completely, and he loses himself under the moonlit sky. 

After some time, he doesn’t know how long, Jungkook walks towards the villa. His large figure is only in an oversized black tee and gray sweatshorts, and for some reason he hasn’t felt the way his temperature dropped significantly to mirror the cool breeze. He almost decides to go inside, but his body pulls back and he opts to sit on a lounge chair while he continues to draw the cigarette to his lips. 

He doesn’t hear the sliding door open, and he doesn’t sense your presence until you stand before him. He cranes his head to the left and sees you- black mini nightgown on and hair damp from the shower. You’re standing uneasily, left hand rubbing your right elbow as your eyes gaze down at him. 

“Can I try?”

Immediately, he scoffs, throwing his cigarette on the ground before he smothers it with his foot.

Expressionless, he looks back at you, fully perceiving your essence and soaking it all in. 

Sometimes he can’t believe how utterly beautiful you are. With the moonlight shining down on you, you’re biting your lip anxiously, and he just wants to smother himself in every crevice of your body. 

He opens his arms for you. 

You gracefully fall into his arms, your bottom resting on the space between his manspread legs, and both your legs resting on his left thigh. He holds your entire body weight with a single arm around your waist.

Regardless of how much you irritate him, or whether you reciprocate the intensity of his love, he’ll always open his arms for you. He’ll let you take him any way you want him. You’re still his best friend, even when you don’t see him or need him the way he sees and needs you. 

You bring a palm up to his cheek, his skin texture keratinized but still soft. “You’re freezing,” you mumble, a concerned expression engulfing your features. He says nothing. Instead he sneaks another arm around the circumference of your stomach and rests his forehead against yours. 

Your eyebrows furrow, and you hold Jungkook’s face with both your hands. You study his facial features deeply- his large boba eyes, his straight nose, his pouty lips- you love this man. 

You close your eyes and press your lips against his. Jungkook reciprocates the kiss with more fervor than you could have ever imagined. 

He immediately takes control, and your hands drop to your sides while his large hands cup your cheeks, attempting to devour you wholly. His tongue slides into your mouth, and yours into his, mouths fusing together as you infinitely intertwine your desires. Jungkook sucks your tongue into his mouth, leaving you to mewl and moan into his mouth as he quite literally leaves you breathless. You don’t realize how he subtly maneuvers you so that you’re lying underneath him until he brings both arms above your head and secures both of your wrists with his hand. His other hand creeps underneath your nightgown, gently kneading and squeezing the fat around your waist. You mewl out, panting underneath him and Jungkook takes this as an opportunity to rub his tongue against yours as he continues playing with your body. 

“Wait- Jungkook- '' you moan out, “your hands are cold.” 

Jungkook draws back, inhaling deeply as he restrains himself from you. Licking his lips, he peers down at you and feels his heart stop. 

You’re the most gorgeous woman he’s ever seen. 

The moonlight dimly illuminates your features and body, and your silhouette leaves the faint shadow of your perfect body. Hair perfectly splayed against the lounge chair, you squirm against the lounge chair, chest heaving up and down, all hot and bothered. Your chest pokes against the thin fabric of your nightgown, and your nightgown slides up against the expanse of your thighs, white lace panties revealing themselves. 

Sometimes he wants to lock you up in his room forever, keeping you to himself so no other person has the privilege of laying their eyes on you. 

Licking his lips, he bends over to pick you up, bridal style, before he stumbles into your shared room in the villa. You find yourself on top of him, straddling his mid region while his hands gently massage the fat on your waist, rub up and down your thighs, kneading the flesh of your bottom. Your lips are magnetized, moving in tandem as his tongue languidly explores your mouth. 

The way Jungkook kisses is consuming, intense as he devours you completely. You feel that you are incapable of keeping up with him, his strong arms maneuvering you against his body as he overwhelms you with the way his mouth consumes yours. His tongue explores the inside of your mouth, and you have half the mind to reflect on how dirty it is- the way he has no qualms about burying himself in the impure parts of your body. 

Simultaneously, you have no qualms about bearing the impure parts of your body to him. You want him to see you in every disgusting and nasty way possible. You’ve never been with anyone as skillful and passionate as him. The way his large hands run up and down your body make you feel so safe and secure. It’s like he’s a water-deprived man wandering the desert and you’re the mirage of an island paradise, except you’re real and he can touch you, feel you. Your body feels so soft against his rough hands and he’s bathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo. 

He draws back momentarily to admire you. Your pretty features, the way you’re left breathless, and the way he can see himself in your gorgeous eyes. “Baby, you’re so beautiful,” he utters. 

Baby. That stupid nickname he always uses. That stupid nickname that pissed you off because it meant that he only saw you as a kid, as a child. You always wanted him to see you as a woman.

Now, he says it differently and it makes your chest tighten.

He drops his head and presses kisses to the sensitive spot on your neck that sends shivers throughout your whole body. 

“Your breath smells good,” you mutter, trying to distract yourself from the overstimulating sensation of Jungkook sucking hickeys on your neck. Jungkook is pretty uptight about his hygiene. You can tell about the countless skincare, oralcare, and beauty products on the vanity of your shared bathroom. 

“Even though I smoked?” he asks teasingly, pulling back to gaze at you. 

“I don’t mind. I wanna smoke with you but you’d never let me” you sheepishly respond. 

Jungkook looks right at you stoically, shaking his head. “You’re too precious. Don’t want anything to happen to your cute little princess lungs.” He gently holds your face and draws your lips towards his, like he’s trying to drown you in his love. Your eyes flutter and shirt and you attempt to mimic his passion. 

He pulls back. “But you can do anything you want. You’re a grown woman.”

You shake your head. “I would never do anything to upset you.”

He playfully scoffs at that. “My ass.”

You raise a brow at him, “I’m serious. Anything for you. Any time and anywhere.” Your fingertips trace down his body, down his chest, the hard ridges of his abs, and towards the bulge painfully straining against his pants. 

He sighs like Atlas, holding up the weight of the world to restrain himself from succumbing to the desires running through his mind.

“We don’t have to do anything- whatever you’re comfortable with. ” he mutters and you shudder at the sensation of his hot breath.

“I always dreamed of being with you,” is all you respond with. His eyes trace down your pretty features to your lips, pink, pretty, swollen, and coated in his saliva. His heart skips a beat. 

You become more relaxed when his fingers carefully brush the strands from your face, “It has to be you. Please. I’m good at this. I’ll make you feel so good.  Let me show you. Please,” you plead. 

Tattooed fingers rise to squeeze your cheeks so your lips cutely pucker out. He feels like that’s the craziest thing he’s ever heard, but the way you’re begging, pleading for him sends a chilling sensation running through his body. “Don’t worry about that baby. I’m going to do all the work. I’m gonna take care of you- all you have to do is feel good.”

And feel good you did. Seven hours later, you abruptly wake from your brief one hour nap. Jungkook’s strong arms are still tightly wrapped around your waist. His body is hot like a furnace considering how his chest burns against your back. He’s latched around you so tightly that you’re unable to remove yourself from his embrace. 

“Where you going baby?” he mumbles, morning voice deep and husky.

“I didn’t take a piss yet,” you respond, rubbing your eyes. 

“You did. I carried you to the bathroom and made you pee, so stay with me longer.”

Jungkook ignores your scandalous gasp and pulls you closer so you’re lying chest to chest. “My body is sore,” you murmur into his neck.

“I know baby,” Jungkook responds against your forehead, eyes still fluttered shut. “I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I’ll give you a massage later.”

“How am I gonna hide my hickeys?” you innocently question further, suddenly recalling the details of last night’s events. 

Jungkook was so mind-numbingly sweet and gentle, whispering sweet everythings into your hair while he filled you with mind-numbing pleasure. 

“You’re so gorgeous, beautiful.”

“Wanna do this with you forever and ever.”

“You have no fucking idea what you do to me.”

You sink further into the mattress and nuzzle closer to Jungkook. 

“I’ll give you my hoodie, baby,” he mumbles in response, “Don’t want the guys to know,” he turns on his back and stretches his arms while yawning, “They shouldn’t even perceive you as this way,” he shrugs, regaining his normal voice. 

“Okay,” you mumble, allowing the tranquil of quietness to wash over you both.

“Wanna shower together?” he suddenly perks up, smiling at you crazily with a combination of love and lust in his eyes.

You don’t grace him with a response, shooting up and walking to the shower, knowing fully that Jungkook was admiring your bare backside.

-

Your back rests against the chilly surface of the bathtub, a direct juxtaposition to how the sizzling water filling up the tub begins to warm your aching body. Jungkook on the other side of the tub has your foot in his hand, admiring you while sweetly kneading and pressing into the tender muscles in your foot. 

“Did I go too hard on you baby?” he asks sweetly, lips churning up as he admires you from the opposing side of the tub. 

You playfully scoff and sink further into the tub, mouth blowing bubbles into the water. You could only take so much. Your eyes run up and down his body, Jungkook smirking at the way you shamelessly check him out. His chest and abs are on display, beads of water scattered around his body. He looks like a statue, hair faintly damp from the water. 

“‘m sore, but that’s on me. You were very gentle. Thank you baby,” you say tenderly, to which Jungkook responds by pressing a soft kiss on the top of your foot, cheekily smiling at the use of your own nickname against him.

“Foot fetish,” you giggle, to which Jungkook responds by lifting your foot towards his mouth and pressing a kiss to your big toe. 

“Only for yours. They’re cute, all painted and shit,” he says with a mouth full of toe. 

“You’re such a barbarian,” you tease.

“You like it,” he responds sneakily. 

You draw your foot back and throw yourself onto him, your chests rubbing against each other before your lips mold with his. He closes his eyes and holds you close to his body, his large hand wrapping around the circumference of your thigh and pulling you so that your legs wrap around his large torso. He moans into your mouth and kisses you as messily and hungrily as he did last night. 

You pull back breathlessly. “I do. I like everything you do.”

-

“Here you go Tae,” you say before handing Taehyung a plate of eggs and bacon. All the guys are sitting on the sofas around the large TV, engrossed watching a livestream of the summer Olympics. 

“Thanks,” Taehyung mindlessly responds, taking the plate with his eyes glued to the TV.

You can imagine Jungkook’s confusion when he watches you serve each and every one of his friends their own customized breakfast platters while leaving him with nothing but the occasional uncomfortable glance. 

All his friends are entirely engrossed with athlete An-San shooting in the finals of the women’s archery competition, and though he’s extremely prideful in his country, he’s unable to focus because he’s scrutinizing the way you fidget in the loveseat. 

You’re wearing his hoodie to hide the lovemarks Jungkook scattered on your body- the same body that was pressed against his mere minutes ago. But for some reason, you can’t even meet his gaze. 

Jungkook tries not to overanalyze the situation because he realizes how overwhelming this all can be for you. Both of you are aware that there’s no going back after last night and he hopes your strange behavior is only because  it’s taking a little bit to process everything. 

A sudden gasp from your lips pulls everyone’s attention away from the screen.

“I have an assignment due in an hour! Mingyu oppa, can you help me? It’s a coding assignment,” you express with urgency shooting up from your seat. 

Mingyu’s eyes dart towards Jungkook, the literal Computer Science expert of the group, but Mingyu wouldn’t turn you down so he stands up and wipes his palms on his jeans. Jungkook opens his mouth to say something but it never comes out. 

“Yea sure,” Mingyu agrees, timidly following you into your room, looking back at Jungkook once.  

-

After returning from the villa, he was almost sure that you would start dating after a questionable awkward phase. When he recalls the night spent with you, he feels chills all over his body. There was no way you didn’t feel the same. There was no way you wouldn’t come back to him. 

He would wait for you to graduate before he proposed. Your wedding would be intimate, celebrated exclusively with your loved ones but still luxurious. He had the money for it, after all. Jungkook’s income greatly exceeds the needs of a single man in his twenties and he had more than enough money and was eager to splurge on you. Pretty dresses, designer purses, Dior lip gloss, pilates classes, he would assuredly take care of you for the rest of your life.  

If you wanted to pursue higher education and get your master’s degree, he would finance it completely. If you wanted to move to a different city, he would take you there and find a nice place for you both- anywhere you wanted, he could make it happen. If you wanted to have kids, he would ensure that you had the most healthy and comfortable pregnancy. He would take care of everything. You didn’t even need to lift a finger. 

How can you pretend you don’t want him when you begged for him, when you said you would do anything to please him? When you claimed to love him for years? 

You avoid him like he is the bubonic plague. On the way back from the villa, you rode with Taehyung instead of Jungkook. And when you reached home, you went straight to Yunjin’s place and haven’t returned for a week straight. 

Jungkook’s texts remained unanswered, and he’s upset beyond belief. He doesn’t want to paint you in a negative light so he keeps everything to himself. The only thing he can do is go to the gym and immerse himself in physical pain to distract himself from the mental pain. 

-

“I’m moving out,” you bluntly announce, catching Jungkook completely off guard. After a week, you finally return to Jungkook’s apartment, not even gracing him with a greeting before bursting through his doors and dropping this bomb on him. 

Jungkook scoffs, throwing his gaming controller to the side, shutting off the TV before turning to you. He sways his head to the side to swoop his bangs out of his face and pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose.  “Is that all you have to say to me? Sit down,” he chastises, pointing to the recliner. 

You cross your arms and frown at him,  but nonetheless acquiesce, sitting on the recliner next to Jungkook’s sofa. 

Jungkook, who always reciprocates your fervor and passion, glares at you with more disappointment than you could ever shoot at him, ignoring the cute pout on your lips and your clumsy attempt at appearing intimidating. 

“Are you going to ignore me forever? Have I ever made you feel like you can’t talk to me about things? Don’t I always listen to you? Care for you?” His emotions spill out, perhaps more harsh than he intended. He almost feels like he has to clutch his heart to assuage the raging pain in his chest because Jungkook just loves you so much. He always put you above others, even when things were strictly platonic. 

“Yes you do, and that’s the point!” you retort, shooting up and gesturing dramatically with your hands, “It’s suffocating to always have you here! I feel so useless and stupid when I’m around you.” 

Jungkook tongues his cheek against the inside of his mouth, impatiently tapping his foot while he squints his eyes and processes everything you’re saying. “So you feel like I suffocate you?”

“I didn’t say that. I said that it’s suffocating, not that you’re suffocating me,” you huff. 

Jungkook laughs to himself, completely invalidating your emotions. His eyes settle on you, and his eyes turn cold. It’s like Jungkook’s presence has full reign over the room’s disposition, because the room turns cold too. 

“Y/N.” 

Your eyes uncomfortably flick towards every corner of the room. “Umm.. yea?”

“What’s the name of your health insurance provider?”

A wave of silence washes over the room and you immediately crimson. You have no fucking clue. Yea, you see what he’s getting at, and you wish you could physically wipe the smug look on his face. Jungkook can scarcely perceive the tears pricking your lash line.

“You’re such a dick,” you mumble, letting yourself sink into the leather of the seat.

He ignores you and bitterly nods his head. “Okay fine. Move out. Where are you gonna get the money to pay rent, Ms. Unemployed?” The sarcasm laced in his voice hits you like an arrow.

You huff once again, inflating with anger before you explode, “If you didn’t know, fucking asshole, my parents died in a car accident and left me a lot of fucking money!” you scream.

He blinks back at you, completely unimpressed, making you feel stupid for blowing up at him.  

You practically weaponized your parents’ death to gain sympathy from him and he’s clearly as apathetic as ever, “So where’s the money at? I’ve been here this whole time and  I haven’t seen any money,” he points out,  “If I knew you were loaded I would have charged you for rent since you wanna be little Ms. Independent,” he mocks.

Your jaw drops again at the rashness of his words. You bring your knees to your chest and twiddle with a strand of hair.  “You’re being mean,” you mumble into your knees.

“And you’re being selfish,” he bluntly responds. 

“Whatever. Fuck you. I just came to get my shit,” you shoot up and march into your room, beginning to throw your clothes into your abnormally large suitcase.

“Yea?” you hear Jungkook’s voice echo from the living room, “And who’s gonna help you carry your shit down the stairs?”

“Fuck you!” you yell back, face turning red with anger. 

Jungkook leans against the doorframe of your win, watching you haphazardly throw everything into your suitcase, reveling in the way tears are flowing down your cheeks and how your chest heaves up and down. 

“Is Yunjin going to be your roommate?” 

“Yes,” you angrily mutter, sniffling and wiping your nose. No matter how angry you are, you have the compulsion to answer any and every question he asks. 

“Just her?” he continues his interrogation and you continue to respond.

“No. Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Soobin, Sunghoon, Heeseung.”

“Who the fuck is that?” his words come out more harsh than intended.

“Sunghoon is just a boy in one of my classes and Heeseung is his best friend. Heeseung is also one of Beomgyu’s childhood best friends so it’s fine,” you say, as if Jungkook is your guardian and you’re trying to rationalize your impulsive actions. 

“Is he the boy you were facetiming at the villa?”Jungkook questions, not missing the way you pause momentarily. 

“Yes. He’s just a friend,” you express, opening the dresser drawer to pull out your intimates. Mostly granny panties but Jungkook raises a brow at the black and red lingerie you try to crumple in your hands. 

“That for me?”

You raise your head to look at him, red face with anger before you chuck the lingerie at his face. Jungkook remains stoic and unphased when the lace fabric hits his chest and lands on the floor. 

You end up leaving his place in tears, pushing him to the side while you clumsily drag your heavy suitcase from his place. Jungkook almost steps forward to carry your bag for you, but he denies his impulse and simply watches you leave. When your car disappears in the distance, he goes straight to your room and lies down on the mattress, falling asleep while your scent is still fresh. 

-

“What happened with you and Y/N?” The casualty of Mingyu’s words punctures Jungkook’s heart like an arrow. He immediately deflates at the mention of your name, glancing downwards and stirring his beer with his straw. 

Taehyung and Mingyu shoot each other knowing glances from each side of the restaurant booth. 

Taehyung steadily redirects his attention towards his best friend. “She moved out, right?” An uncomfortable pause washes over, “Did you guys fight?” 

Jungkook shakes his head, using his chopsticks to turn the meat sizzling on the tabletop grill. “She just… wants to be more independent,” he says, purposely condensing the situation in seven words, with care, so as to not antagonize you in front of his friends. 

Tutting his tongue, Mingyu shakes his head empathetically, “I’m genuinely sorry to hear that…” he momentarily trails off, “Are you okay?”

Before Jungkook can respond, Taehyung shoves a piece of meat in Jungkook’s mouth with his chopsticks. “Hey. Remember who you are. Don’t let a girl fuck with your self respect.”

Jungkook, resembling a bunny with a mouth full of carrots, swallows and looks directly into his friend’s eyes. “You know she’s not just a girl to me.”

“I know,” Taehyung quickly responds, meeting his friend’s gaze with corresponding gravity, “I love Y/N too. But that doesn’t mean you let her actions dictate the quality of your life.”

Jungkook squints his eyes at Taehyung and sets his chopsticks on the table, sighing deeply,  “You know I actually said some pretty childish shit to her.”

“Like what? It couldn’t have been that bad,” Mingyu reasons. 

“I’d rather not repeat it,” Jungkook mumbles, rubbing the nape of his neck, “She said she wanted to move out, that she felt suffocated by me. Shit pissed me off so I was harsh on her and she hasn’t spoken to me in like a month.”

It took Jungkook a good 24 hours to realize that you weren’t on the same page as him. It was horribly presumptuous to assume so in the first place. Perhaps Jungkook mistook your devotion towards him as love, and not what it actually was: hedonistic infatuation. You yourself most likely mistook your obsession for  love, because he knows you’re too kind hearted to purposely mislead him. After that night, you were probably filled with a whirlwind of confusion- maybe because actually being with Jungkook didn’t feel as good as fantasizing about it did.

In other words, you were obsessed with the chase and not with him. 

Well, that probably meant you both are fucked because you already slept together and now there was no going back. 

“I mean…” Mingyu begins, “Y/N’s like what? 20? She probably doesn’t want to be tied down to anything.”

Jungkook bitterly shakes his head and shuts his eyes, “I should have figured.”

“Sleeping around, doing drugs, partying, getting drunk,” Mingyu lists, counting off with his fingers, “She probably shouldn’t be doing those things, but isn’t that what we did when we were in college?”

“That’s true,” Taehyung concurs, side-eyeing Jungkook’s reaction, “We did do all that when we were 20.”

Jungkook visibly winces. 

“And I know you love her,” Mingyu continues, “but right now she clearly isn’t in the headspace to healthily engage romantically with you, so live your own life and let her live hers.”

Jungkook sighs and slaps both hands over his face, hoping that the skin of his palms absorbs the tears prickling his waterline. “I just love her, you know? And the thought of her going through a hoe phase or getting with another guy just hurts,” he explains, allowing his hands to fall back on the table, “I think I’d kill him. I really would.”

“When I’m with her, when we’re together- I don’t know how to explain it- I would do anything for her. Haven’t I done anything for her? I would give her everything if she’d let me,” he unloads, “She just makes me so happy- never even thought I could feel this way- and being without her just sucks so bad.”

“You have done everything for her Koo,” Taehyung comforts, “but you do it because you love her, right? Not because you want anything in return.”

“I want her to at least talk to me, or acknowledge me…” Jungkook mutters, grimacing when a random thought appears in his mind, “Should I just enlist?”

It’s meant light heartedly- he’s half-joking, partially serious. He can’t fathom not having you after getting a taste. He’d rather put himself through the physical anguish of boot camp and military training. It was mandatory for all Korean men anyways. 

“You’re going to leave your life behind for a year and a half because Y/N is ignoring you?” Mingyu articulates, making Jungkook realize how ridiculous the assertion is. 

“Hey hey, that’s not a bad idea,” Taehyung opposes, “Go serve our country and get your mind off a few things. You have to enlist anyway.”

“Look. Go if you want. But don’t just go because of Y/N. C’mon. You’re better than that,” Mingyu rationalizes.

“I don’t know. It’s just an idea,” Jungkook murmurs, banging his head onto the table. 

Silence washes over as the three simply enjoy their meal, not allowing dialogue to intrude on the delicious, savory, and expensive meat entering their mouths. 

Taehyung pulls out his phone, and a few moments later his eyes widen, “Oh shit,” Taehyung utters

“What?” Jungkook and Mingyu question simultaneously.

Taehyung turns his phone around and shows them a random instagram story. 

The image posted on Yunjun's story shows a man and a woman in bed, with the caption "Ewwwwwwww"

Sure enough, it was your glasses on the bedside table, your blanket draped over the sheets, and your clothes scattered across the floor. His eyebrows furrow thoroughly as he scrutinizes the screen.

Jungkook begins the enlistment process that night.

-

You’ve settled into your new home and have been living there comfortably for a few weeks. One perk to having six roommates is that you’re never bored. Yunjin will drop by every other night to indulge in overly meticulous, and probably more harmful, skincare routines. The boys occasionally call you to the living room to play board games or video games, which usually end in drunk laughter and the production of a chaotic, happy memory. 

One of those nights is right now. Truth or drink is a stupid game- super childish, only really played in Wattpad fanfictions and movie adaptations of those same fanfics- but Heeseung suggested it and who really gives a fuck? Right now is the era of recklessness, chaos, and living with full abandonments of regret.

The seven of you sit in a circle with a bottle of vodka and seven shot glasses in the middle. Yunjin is right next to you, as usual, giggling with no thoughts on her mind since she has refused to answer any of the questions. The girl seriously lives a life of secrecy. 

Amidst the giggles and laughter of your friends, you begin to smile too. Beomgyu admits that he caught feelings for a one night stand. Yeonjun admits that he catfished a frat boy as a Discord kitten. Heeseung admits that he already snuck someone into the house.  But really, it’s not as fun when you’re being interrogated. 

“Y/N,” Heeseung blatantly calls you out. You smile haughtily at him, your brows raising like you’re daring him to ask a question.

“Hmmm, okay, I’ll go easy on you,” he teases, “When was the last time you kissed someone?” he asks, and your smile drops.

You gasp and it’s like you’re sucked into a whirlpool of memories. Memories of Jungkook holding you like he would never see you again, whispering the sweetest, mind-chilling things in your ear while you bore the most intimate and vulnerable parts of yourself to him. 

You haven’t disclosed that part of your life to anyone, because it was so intimate and you hold it so dearly to your heart. 

Yunjin nudges you, “Hey, you okay?” 

You shake your head. This is supposed to be fun. Everybody here is revealing their dark secrets and a kiss isn’t even a big deal. You have to play your part too.

You shake your head. “I’m fine,” you smile, “It was probably like, a month ago? I wanna say?” you ponder aloud, making everyone erupt into ooh’s and ahh’s. 

Yunjin gasps scandalously. “You kissed someone and didn’t tell me? You whore!”

You giggle and nudge her back. “You literally have not answered a single question asked!”

And supposedly, you two are so immersed in banter between each other, you don’t notice the other tension zapping around the room. Uncomfortable glances flicker around the room, and Sunghoon grimaces, willingly taking a shot of vodka. 

“Was it Jungkook? Did you finally pull him?” Yeonjun blurts out, rising to his feet.

You playfully stand up and push him. “Hey! It’s not your turn to ask a fucking question!” you slur, “It’s my turn!”

“If Y/N  kissed him, we would’ve definitely heard about it,” Beomgyu mumbles. A lightbulb shows up above his head. “Wait- was it Mingyu?” he questions further. 

“Mingyu is so hot,” Soobin productively inserts into the conversation. 

“It’s not your guys’ turn!” you whine, before clearing your throat and composing yourself, “Sunghoon!” you call out, pointing at him for the dramatic effect, “Is there a girl you’ve got on your mind right now?” the question spills out and Yunjin is the only one who claps in anticipation.

Sunghoon shifts uncomfortably in his seat, pouring a shot into the glass and downing it nearly immediately.

You scandalously gasp, a light bulb appearing above your head as you put the puzzle pieces together. “No way- do you- are you- are you into Yunjin?” you beseech and Yunjin mirrors your scandalous gasp.

“No way!” she drunkenly slurs, “Sorry Sunghoon- I just- I just don’t see you like that, but you are a really handsome, and there’s no doubt that you’ll find a girl soon,” she slurs, soliciting a laugh from some of the other guys and a playful scoff from Sunghoon, who just throws a pillow at her. 

A few rounds later, you find yourself becoming more intoxicated with the amounts of shots you’ve taken, mostly because you refuse to answer any juicy questions about your sex life. You learned some pretty nasty details about your friends that had you squealing and hiding behind the throw pillows. 

Eventually, Soobin throws another question at you. “Y/N!” He points at you, a shot glass in his hand, “Do you think you’ll ever get over Jungkook?”

Yeonjun spits out his drink, prompting Yunjin to pull out her phone to show Heeseung and Sunghoon Jungkook’s instagram. Photos of him and his friends litter the screen, some of him shirtless at the gym, some with his friends, and some with you. One at your high school graduation with your diploma in hand and your cap on Jungkook’s head. Another photo at the beach, with you in the middle and his friends evenly dispersed on both of your sides. 

“Good question Soobin!” Beomgyu exclaims, clapping his hands in agreement. Sunghoon lifts his eyes uncomfortably from the screen to gauge your expression. 

What he didn’t expect was you to hold up the vodka bottle and chug. 

All you want to do is chug your feelings away. Chug your thoughts away. 

You want your head to be empty so you can’t possibly think about Jungkook and how you hurt him, so you don’t think about the dozens of texts he’s sent and how they’ve all been left on Read. You can’t even fathom the possibility of losing him, and you think you’re treading along that path. 

You’re horrible. 

“Holy shit Y/N, stop!” Beomgyu screeches, practically tackling you and swiping the bottle from your hands. 

“She’s finally lost her shit!” Yeonjun exclaims, like he’s been expecting this to happen for years (?)

Heeseung and Sunghoon exchange glances, and it fills Sunghoon with the faintest sense of apprehension. 

Obviously, Sunghoon is into you. You’re too stupid, dense, and probably selfish to realize but Sunghoon is really into you, and everybody knows it except for you and your equally dumb friend Yunjin. 

After moving in, it didn’t take a while for the guys in the house to catch on. Sunghoon remembers the… odd confrontation quite vividly. 

Beomgyu, Soobin, and Yeonjun cornered Sunghoon against the kitchen wall when he returned home from university, bombarding him with invasive questions. 

“Did you only agree to move in because you wanna fuck Y/N?” Beomgyu, in his typical unhinged manner, spat at Sunghoon. 

Sunghoon's brows furrowed in bewilderment as the words bounced around his mind. "Wait, what?" he echoed, his features contorted in pure confusion.

Yeonjun couldn't help but facepalm at Beomgyu's straightforwardness before nudging him with his whole frame. "Okay, listen," Yeonjun interjected, "what Beomgyu is trying to ask is, do you have feelings for Y/N?"

Without hesitation, Sunghoon affirmed, "Yes, I do. I really like her."

Caught off guard by Sunghoon's quick response, Yeonjun and Soobin exchanged suspicious glances, prompting Sunghoon to offer further clarification. "But it's not what you guys think," he hurriedly explained. "It's a genuine, innocent “like”... I just want to treat her right. I'm not looking to pursue anything physical."

Soobin, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu visibly relaxed, exchanging nods of understanding among themselves..

"Got it, man," Soobin reassured Sunghoon with a pat on the back. "We're rooting for you. Let us know if anything develops."

Sunghoon snaps back to the present amidst the chaotic screams, witnessing you and Beomgyu wrestle over the bottle of vodka. You slur your words, “Fucking asshole! Give it back!”

Sensing a pertinent gaze upon him, he locks eyes with Yeonjun, who subtly motions towards you.

Immediately, Sunghoon gets the message. 

Yeonjun clears his throat, “Beomgyu, just take it easy. Let’s all calm down for a moment.” His voice is compelling, and you loosen your grip on the bottle just for Beomgyu to snatch it from your hand and spill it to the floor. 

You scream. 

“How could you do that?!” you slur, “Beomgyu! M-my alcohol! I’m nothing without my alchohol-”

Soobin lets out an exasperated sigh and rises to intervene, gently guiding Beomgyu away from the chaotic scene before motioning for Sunghoon to attend to your intoxicated state. Meanwhile, Heeseung leads Yunjin to her room. 

That evening, Sunghoon assumes the role of caretaker, tending to you with unwavering patience and kindness eerily similar to Jungkook’s. Too bad that you weren’t in the proper state of mind to even realize what’s happening. 

 He carefully carries you to your room, ensuring you're comfortable before tenderly tucking you into bed. 

If anybody else saw him, they’d think he’s pathetic. Taking care of a girl who’s drunk over another man is nearly unfathomable- but he’s doing it because he wants it all. He wants the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, if it means that he’s doing it with you. 

-

One downside to having six roommates (especially ones that like to party) is that it’s really fucking loud all the time.

It’s not that you don’t like to party. You were always the first to buy tickets to a rave or a music festival. 

But these days, it feels like you’ve aged one hundred years because you’d rather spend Friday nights cuddled up with your plushies instead of around people. You like to joke that Sunghoon is your twin because he often locks himself in his room when your roommate’s throw parties. 

You think you’ll visit him this time, so you wrap a blanket around your frame and knock on his door. “It’s me!” you yell through the wood, and you hear the swivel of a gaming chair, footsteps, and the door unlocking before it swings open. “Hey,” he smiles at you, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of the beauty marks littering his face. 

“Hey,” you take a step in, and Sunghoon closes the door behind you and locks it.  “Wanna hang?” you ask sweetly. 

He laughs, plopping back on his gaming chair. “Not joining the party?” 

You plop on his bed, using your blanket to cover your body so you don’t ruin the perfect sheeting on his bed. Sunghoon’s room can be described in one word: clean. His bed is always pristinely made, PC desk and school desk always acutely organized, and clothes folded neatly in his closet.  His gaming setup is quite intricate, two PC’s he built himself with wires and hardware looping intricately through his desk and the computers. He has a flat screen TV hung on the wall in front of his bed and a mini fridge in the corner filled with Diet cokes and ice cream sandwiches. 

Completely different from Heeseung’s room. 

“I’m exhausted from last night. Aren’t you? I don’t remember anything” you explain, grabbing the remote on his nightstand so you can turn the TV on. 

Sunghoon laughs at that, typing away on his light up keyboard while his mouse swivels around the mousepad, playing some FPS game. “You’re a lightweight, Y/N. I remember everything.”

You wave your hand nonchalantly. “Not at all. Not at all. I can handle my liquor better than all of you combined.”

“Uh-huh.” He stands up and walks over to his mini fridge, taking out a Diet coke for himself. “Want an ice cream sandwich?-”

You gasp and immediately nod your head vigorously, slightly resembling a puppy panting for water. Sunghoon thinks you’re adorable. You don’t know that he’s never cared for ice cream sandwiches.  He buys them solely for you and saves them for whenever you unexpectedly drop by. 

He throws one at you and smiles when you enthusiastically breathe it in. He plops down by you on the gaming chair, putting his feet up on the bed. You put on Ninjago and you both share on the screen, occasionally sharing stupid memes between episode breaks.

After finishing up Season 5, the music seems louder than ever, and you groan into his pillows. “Oops sorry, I got some makeup on your pillow-”

“Y/N, I need to tell you something,” Sunghoon suddenly articulates, and you cock your head in curiosity. 

“Don’t get mad at me about the pillow, though,”

“It’s fine,” Sunghoon laughs, “but I just- I just feel like I gotta tell you this.”

“Okay,” you implore, tugging on the loose strings of his sheets, “Go on.”

“Y/N, I like you.”

Oh. 

“And last night, when we were doing Truth or Drink, I felt like the guys made that evidently clear, but you’re into you didn’t realize, did you? You were too wasted.”

Sunghoon's confession hangs in the air, his words heavy with vulnerability. Your heart skips a beat as you process the unexpected declaration.

You nod in concurrence, “I had no idea.”

But before the moment can fully settle, Sunghoon's expression shifts, his features clouded with uncertainty. "Are you into that old guy… Jungkook?" he asks hesitantly, his voice laced with a tinge of sadness.

Your heart sinks as you realize the direction of the conversation. Memories of Jungkook flood your mind, the warmth of his smile and the depth of your connection weighing heavily on your conscience.

"Yeah," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I am."

Sunghoon's smile fades, replaced by a somber acceptance. "I figured as much," he murmurs, a hint of resignation in his tone.

Silence envelops the room, the weight of unspoken emotions lingering between you. Despite this, there is a mutual understanding: Sunghoon never had a chance. 

After a moment of heavy silence, you clear your throat, your gaze shifting to the floor, “I should go.”

Sunghoon nods, unable to find the right words to ease the tension. "Yeah, okay," he replies softly.

As you make your way to the door, Sunghoon pauses, hesitating for a moment before speaking up. "I hope things work out for you and Jungkook," he says, a small, wistful smile playing at the corners of his lips.

"Thank you, Sunghoon," you murmur, a lump forming in your throat.

And that’s the end of that. Clearly, there is no chemistry between you and Sunghoon and it just never was going to ever work out. 😀

-

Despite how you convince yourself that you don’t want him- your heart will never be able to  deny him. Your very soul yearns for him and to deprive yourself of him is to deprive yourself of your greatest longing. 

Jungkook feels the same way, and you’re not ready for him.

You want to disappear. 

A glance into everything makes you look like the crazy bitch, and you’re very self aware of that.  You had the man you’ve been in love with your whole life wrapped around your fingers, and you let go of that.

Granted, you are a crazy bitch, but you certainly have your reasons for behaving the way you do. 

The very sudden death of both your parents lead you to the crippling realization that everything is temporary. You find yourself dreaming of being enfolded in Jungkook’s warmth, his strong arms your protection against the scary, cold world. Then, like he was never there in the first place, he disappears, leaving you to be sucked into the violent, dark void. 

You know how difficult, unhinged, crazy you can be at times, and while Jungkook knows you like no other, you don’t think he’s completely perceived the disarray engulfing your life. You doubt that he’d stick around for the long run once he discovers who you truly are. He’s taken care of you up to now, and you have no intention of relying- no- burdening him for the rest of your life. 

You want to stop being so damn soft, so incapable of controlling your emotions all the time. You want to be someone who can handle herself. 

Then again, Jungkook is the greatest temptation in your life. The way he protects you, the way he becomes so gentle with you- you crave him desperately. 

But the only way to truly have him, to be truly deserving of him is, in other words: to grow the fuck up and be a woman deserving of him. How will you do that? You don’t know. 

After your parents passed away, you’ve been a mess. Your GPA went to shit, and it took months for you to find the will to brush your teeth and shower everyday. That’s disgusting. If anything, you were more of Jungkook’s charity case than Jungkook’s girlfriend. 

You’re really trying- but if you aren’t even capable of taking care of yourself, how will you be capable of taking care of someone as perfect and capable as him? It makes you want to curl into a fetal position and die. 

However, given the intimate bond of your family connections, you understand that Jungkook will forever remain a significant presence in your life. Despite your efforts to ignore him, to pretend like he doesn’t exist- he’ll always be there like a pillar unless he gets struck by lightning and dies which MAY be possible considering that your parents also died unexpectedly (😀). 

The next time you see Jungkook is at his parents’ anniversary party. His parents consider you their first daughter, which may or may not be strange considering that means that Jungkook could technically be your brother- but nonetheless the notion is intrinsically sweet and it makes you feel like you’ll always have a second family. 

No matter where you stand with Jungkook, you’ll always show up for his parents (and for him), which is why you’re all dolled up for the party. 

Usually, you’d bring Yunjin as your plus one, but she’s got another family engagement so you bring your next best man Yeonjun. 

You've yet to divulge the personal intricacies of what transpired between you and Jungkook to your friends, but you reckon that Yeonjun will catch on simply by observing your dynamic at the party. 

Jungkook’s parents like to keep it simple; they opt for hosting a barbeque party at their house, and of course, their handsome son is responsible for grilling the meat. 

You sport a casual look: sneakers and a black sundress while Yeonjun wears a black button up and jorts. In a sense, you kind of resemble a couple, but you don’t even realize that you’re matching until Jungkook’s aunt makes an incriminating comment. 

“My my!” Jungkook’s aunt exclaims, pulling you in for a hug. She always reminds you of Winnie the Pooh; she’s so soft and cuddly. “Y/N! You look so gorgeous!” She does a double take after catching a glimpse of Yeonjun, “and is this your boyfriend? He’s so handsome!”

You’d expect Yeonjun to gag, but he keeps it professional, “Oh not at all auntie,” Yeonjun clarifies, waving his hands, “We’re just friends.”

Jungkook’s aunt shoots Yeonjun a playfully suspicious look, “Ayee~ No need to keep it PG. Y/N’s all grown up! She should be with a handsome boy like you!”

Yeonjun continues to try to explain that things are strictly platonic, but Jungkook’s aunt doesn’t relent so he just goes along with it. 

In a strange, fourth dimension-type way, you do understand why Yeonjun is popular amongst the ladies. Yes, you’ll reluctantly admit that he isn’t the most hideous, and that he does have the height, charisma, and chivalry any girl would love- so you aren’t appalled by the idea- until Jungkook’s aunt says “You two would make such cute babies!”

“Hey Jungkook! You’re burning the meat!”

Jungkook’s father yelling his son grabs your attention, and you whip your head towards the grill. 

As always, you were vaguely aware of Jungkook’s presence in the room, but you can’t help but stare when you actually see him. Again, it’s a barbecue pool party so Jungkook’s wearing an open Hawaiian shirt and swim shorts, meaning that his abs were on display. 

You haven’t seen him in months, and you dare to think that he’s gotten bigger? Yes he looks hot and sexy and amazing, like he always does, but what bothers you is that he seems that he’s doing just fine, and maybe even better without you. 

Jungkook hurriedly flips the meat over with the tongs and hastily throws them onto a nearby plastic plate. “My bad, dad,” he apologizes, rubbing the nape of his neck, before turning his head to look directly at you. 

You stare at each other for a second before you look down, biting your lip in apprehension. Yeonjun, however, is clueless to this. 

“Aye! Jungkook hyung!” he exclaims, running over to Jungkook to dap him up. 

Jungkook gives Yeonjun a brotherly smile. “Hey man. How’s school?”

“Ah, it’s going,” Yeonjun responds with a giggle. Sometimes you think that Yeonjun has a bigger crush on Jungkook than you because this man is literally giggling like a middle schooler. You fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

“Wow hyung! Your abs look amazing! Like a statue!” Yeonjun immediately pistol whips his head towards you, “Y/N! Did you see? Jungkook is here? Come say hi!” he beckons you like your mother would: “Sweetie, say hi to Jungkook! Don’t be rude!”, and it makes you purse your lips. 

Jungkook looks at you, and the only word to describe how he looks is piercing. He looks right at you, right into your soul. No matter where you stand, this man will look right at you and make it mortifyingly clear that he is perceiving you and that you better start perceiving him. 

What can you do when he looks at you like that?

Reluctantly, you saunter over, your arms crossed. 

“Hey,” you murmur, immediately turning your head to look at the pool. 

“What the- what the fuck is wrong with you?” Yeonjun chastises, nudging you with his elbow, “It’s Jungkook! Your favorite person.. Well he’s my favorite person too…” Yeonjun blushes. 

Ignoring Yeonjun, Jungkook leans against the grill. “Want some meat, baby? You look… emaciated.”

My oh my, the things you would do to strangle this man. Firstly, it’s the nickname again. The last time he called you baby, he certainly didn’t mean it how he means it now. He’s doing that thing where he treats you like a little kid again and you hate it. Secondly, it’s the comment about you looking emaciated. You know damn well that you’ve actually gained an extra ten pounds since you’ve seen him- and Jungkook knows your body so you wonder if he’s taking a low blow. 

“Yea, just give me like two ribs,” you mumble, pupils fluttering up at him before returning to the ground. 

Jungkook scoffs in amusement. You can’t even look at him. He places the ribs on the plastic plate, purposely choosing the ones without fat because he knows you find it disgusting. 

‘So,” Jungkook starts, motioning between you and Yeonjun, “Was this on purpose? The matching?”

“Oh not at all,” Yeonjun immediately answers, “In fact, did you know that, on average, 30% of the population wears something black each day? That’s a pretty huge percentage considering that..”

Jungkook nods along, pretending like he’s listening to whatever Yeonjun is saying but his eyes are on you, like they always are. He tongues the inside of his cheek looking at you because you won’t even look at him, you just continuously shift your gaze between the ground and the pool. 

Ridiculous. 

Another thing to note about the Jeon family is that Jungkook isn’t the only Jeon who is madly in love with you. His nephew is too. Well, little four-year old Jacob is as “madly in love” with you as a four-year old can be. 

When little Jacob catches heed of you, he immediately waddles into your arms, and you pick him up and throw him up before catching him. Little Jacob is one of the cutest babies you’ve ever seen- he’s like a little Jungkook, looks just like Jungkook’s baby pictures. 

“Y/N!” he squeals, nuzzling his face into your neck and squeezing you. 

“Hi baby!” you coo, pressing a kiss to his chubby little cheek. 

“I mithed you!” Jacob pouts, before the poor kid literally bursts into tears. “I mithed you so much, and you didn’t even vithit me!”

With a swift motion, Jungkook gently takes his cousin from your embrace, using just one hand to lift him up. "Hey," Jungkook's voice carries a hint of seriousness, "Remember what I told you? Do big kids cry over something that doesn't need to be cried over?"

Jacob pouts, wiping a tear. “N-no, but Y/N didn’t vithit me!”

“Y/N didn’t visit me either, but I’m not crying about it, right? Us Jeon boys don’t cry over those things, alright? Now come swim with your uncle, we can play mermaids.” With that, he whisks his nephew away and throws him into the pool. 

Yeonjun sends you a look of suspicion. 

The car ride back to your place is painful. Yeonjun interrogates you over what really happened between you and Jungkook and you have no choice but to divulge every detail. 

At the end, you burst into tears, and Yeonjun has to buy you an Oreo McFlurry from McDonalds to calm you down. 

-

Three months. 

You haven’t spoken to him or acknowledged his existence for three months. 

Jungkook knows he was harsh on you the last time you spoke, but he didn’t feel like his behavior warranted such indifference from you. At the party, he knows he was being snarky, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in pain. 

He almost falls over when he sees your friends at the grocery store. Yeonjun and Soobin greet him politely, and Jungkook keeps things simple, just engaging in  the typical “Hey, how’s school” chat. 

These days, Jungkook doesn’t frequent many social outings. For the whole week he’s worked from home and he’s only left to go to the gym and to get food. 

Jungkook hates walking past that stupid, balled up, pile of lingerie mocking him from his hallway floor. He hasn’t found it in him to just pick it up and throw it away, or at least kick it away from his line of sight. 

It’s just there. Laughing in his fucking face because Jungkook wonders what he would think of that lingerie had you two not fallen out. 

Perhaps you would surprise him after a long day of work- a day he only makes it through because he knows he’s coming back to you. Jungkook thinks the red set is cute, but black is undeniably his favorite color- sophisticated, timeless, and alluring- he knows he would prefer the black set. 

He would like the red set on Valentine’s day, the color against your skin as ablaze as his love for you. He would cherish you, hold you tight to him while he gently ravishes you and shows you how good you make him feel, pleasuring you until you begin to push him away. That was the most corny thing he’s ever conceived in his life and that makes him feel even worse. 

A notification lights up the dim room, and Jungkook’s tattooed hand immediately reaches for his phone on the bedside table. 

It was his crazy ex that gifted you a Snorlax keychain and threatened to key his car. 

Jungkook laughs to himself because he realizes this is the universe’s karma for continuously ditching women who were “too into it”. 

He was clearly the one who was too into it now because his stupid ass was already thinking about marriage and children while you were still in college. He runs his hands over his face and smiles at the bitter irony of the situation. 

-

Weeks pass and Jungkook learns to accept his circumstances. It wasn’t really about moving on, because he accepted that he wouldn’t- not easily, at least. It was about moving forward. 

He finds joy in the mundane, waking up early to go to the gym, sitting at his office desk and admiring the city view, occasionally meeting up with his friends and getting drunk. Jungkook reckons he can sustain this lifestyle for the rest of his life but knows that he’ll fold if you ever decide to run back to him, which is why he’s enlisting in a few weeks, to seek normalcy, peace, and stability. 

He bids his final goodbyes to his family, friends, and coworkers. The last thing he needs to say goodbye to is his hair. 

He inhales deeply, standing on the expanse of his balcony, gazing at the illuminating cityscape and twinkling lights.  He holds a barber’s mirror in his left hand and a razor in his right. The chilly breeze blows against his bare upper body and he feels the urge to sloppily do the job to return to the comfort of his cozy bed. He raises the razor towards his head, taking another deep breath while he brings it towards his hairline until- 

The sliding door glides open with a whoosh. He hears your voice breathless and pressing, “You’re going to the army?” 

He briefly considers jumping from the balcony.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” you repeat. 

He presses his lips together tightly, then pivots to meet your gaze, his expression a mix of utter astonishment. It's been four months since you last spoke to him, and now you're running back? The night before he enlists?

Your eyebrows furrow deeply, you continue yapping,  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Jungkook allows his eyes to rest on you. He realizes you’ve cut your hair shoulder length and momentarily, he thinks that you look beautiful with your hair at any length- but that’s not the point. He’s angry- beyond livid, beyond heartbroken, and you think that you can suddenly waltz back into his life after months of ignoring him?

 He tongues his cheek against the inside of his mouth. “You need to leave.”

“I am not leaving,” you enunciate, “We need to talk before you go.” 

You casually stride into his place like it's your own, stubbornly marching into the balcony and plopping yourself down on Jungkook's chair, and Jungkook can’t fathom the audacity.  

He scoffs, “Seriously? I’m not enlisting to get your attention,” he bites his tongue, “You seriously don’t have to be here.”

“I know you’re not,” you reason, tucking your hair behind your ear, looking him right in the eye, “But we have to talk. Haven’t you been the one who���s been wanting to talk this whole time?”

Jungkook 

Jungkook pauses, leaning against the railing while he squints his eyes.“Not everything is about you, Y/N.”

Your lips automatically form into a straight line, expressing your embarrassment at his blunt statement. “I know,” you respond, “I just thought, you know, since your text messages and stuff..”

Jungkook blankly stares at you, shaking his head, disbelief written across his features. “You had months to talk,” he recalls, voice laced with bitterness, “You chose to ignore me.”

You hesitate, “Well I’m not ignoring you anymore, so can’t we talk?”

Jungkook’s gaze hardens, and he shakes his head, not believing the words coming from your mouth, “You’re so fucking selfish-”

“Hey! Do not say that about me!” you shout, your jaw trembling. 

“Yea? So what are you?” Jungkook barks back, “Selfless?” he laughs at that, “Are you happy knowing that I’m going away for two years? Wanna finally get this over with?”

“No Jungkook. I’m not fucking happy to hear that.” you spit back right, fists balling up to your sides, “I don’t give you what you want and suddenly you start acting like a fucking asshole!” you seethe in return. 

“Me? The asshole? Maybe I’ve said some hurtful things to you, but you know that I love you. You know that I care for you. You completely gave up. You gave up on us.”Jungkook scoffs to himself, staring at you incredulously. “Relationships are built on trust and communication,” he states frankly, “and you broke that. I don’t owe you anything anymore.” When the words leave his lips, his mouth becomes dry. 

You pause, features scrunching in contemplation before you lick your lips and nod. “That’s fair,” you shrug, “Do you at least want to hear what I have to say before you go? For closure?” 

Jungkook's expression darkens. Closure? 

Despite his resolve to move forward, he has always subconsciously intended to hold onto his feelings for you. He understands that his reluctance to let you go would linger, but it stings to realize that you were willing to accept that so readily.

He inhales deeply, “I’m listening.”

“Um. Ok,” you uncomfortably glance around, the way his handsome obsidian eyes boring into your soul becoming too much for you. 

“You can’t even look at me.”

“I can!” you immediately counter, redirecting your focus solely on him. “It’s just- fuck- I don’t know how to say it” you mumble, fingers twiddling with the strands of hair that frame your face. 

“You’re a big girl. Use your words,” he states plainly.

“Okay! I can- just- can you stop making that face?”

“What face?”

“Stop looking at me like you hate me or something!” you pout, “It’s making me uneasy- I just want to talk to you like before.”

Jungkook’s expression softens at that, and he runs his fingers through his hair. No matter how cold or detached you become, you'll always be a baby, and he'll always have a soft spot for you. “Go ahead,” he offers. 

“I don’t know,” you begin, running your fingers through your hair, “After we- you know we,” you start to whisper, “slept together,”

Jungkook sighs.

You blink at him momentarily before beginning your digression “I realized we were moving too fast, and I began worrying about shit like how I would contribute financially to our wedding, if I would be a good mom to our kids, how people would view us as a couple,” you explain, arms instinctively crossing while you struggle to maintain eye contact, not missing the way Jungkook’s expression contorts. 

“And it wasn’t that I was super concerned about people’s opinions,” you explain, “I’m worried about being too childish for you. I want to be a girl that you’re proud to be with- super educated, successful, and pretty. That’s the type of girl you should be with. Not a girl who refuses to shower and smells her vagina juices in front of you,” you reason, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“And I’m not even trying to imply that these are traits you specifically care about. I know you love and accept me for me, but I’m not okay with it. I want to be good enough to be your girl, and the whole thing just made me feel so shitty about myself that I couldn’t take it anymore- and- and- and you know our age difference!” you wipe the snot running from your nose, maybe from the chilly weather or the emotions running through your system, “I said I don’t care about people’s opinions, but I don’t want anyone to think you’re a predator or something! Or that you took advantage of me after my parents’ died!”

You conclude your rant with a sigh, your entire body deflating despite the way  you scrutinize the tiny shifts in his facial expressions. His lips twitch up slightly, then he grimaces, then he frowns, but his final expression is one of indifference. 

“Okay,” he says candidly, offering you a small smile, “Thanks for letting me know.”

You stare at him owlishly, and he returns your impassive expression. 

“Umm, is that all you have to say?”

“Is there anything to say? I appreciate you letting me know, but I don’t know what to say either,” he reasons, “If you don’t feel comfortable about coming to me about your feelings, should we really be together? Maybe this was for the better.”

An uncomfortable silence washes over the both of you until Jungkook decides to speak up, a lot less angry and defensive from his demeanor towards the conversation. “You weren’t ready, and I get that. I would have waited for you, y’know.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Jungkook nods understandingly, picking up the hoodie he haphazardly threw on the balcony table before approaching you and draping it over your shoulders. “Thanks for coming over. You should get home now. It’s late.”

At his words, your heart plummets to your ass.

So it really is over. 

You guys talked things out cordially. He would be gone for two  years. There was no hope for either of you. You don’t realize that you’ve stopped breathing, and you inhale sharply, feeling as if oxygen has been depleted from your system. 

You don’t say anything, and you allow him to walk you to the front of his door. He takes a few steps back, still shirtless and hands in the pockets of his baggy basketball shorts. He motions his head towards the door, waiting for you to leave. 

You stand idle, blinking at him and scrutinizing him while he blinks at you. 

Your left hand adjusts the long glittery purse straps that sit on your shoulder. 

“Okay. Bye. Good luck in the military.”

He gives you an awkward smile. “Thanks. You know I’ll be okay.”

“Yea.”

“Get home safely. There’s traffic on the freeway from the lantern festival so take the streets home.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

You approach the door, looking back at Jungkook as you begin twisting the doorknob. “Okay.”

Jungkook shoots you a close lipped smile and nods. 

“Yup.”

“Yea.”

Jungkook watches you with an expression of indifference, shifting his weight between both of his legs. He’s not going to do anything, and he doesn’t think you’re going to do anything either.

“Okay,” he announces, slightly impatient, “Bye Y/N. Drive safely.”

You stubbornly shake your head. You can’t let it end this way. You stride towards him, your lips latching onto his passionately, kissing him deeply and romantically. He’s a bit taken aback, but nonetheless uses his large hand to grab you by the neck as he moans into your mouth. He kisses you back, groaning into your lips as he allows you to take the lead. 

You pull back to yank your oversized tee over your head, letting yourself feel his bare skin against yours. “Take me to the bedroom. Please,” you oblige. Jungkook looks at you, eyebrows furrowing deeply as if he’s angry but you know he’s not. He always makes that angry look when he feels conflicted. You run your thumb over his arched eyebrows to soothe him. 

Nonetheless, he grunts, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carries you to the restroom. 

-

You wake up the next morning, Jungkook’s body pressed up against yours like a furnace. He holds you close to him, skin against skin, his chest against your bare back. You squirm within the confines of his tight embrace, eliciting a deep groan from Jungook’s chest. 

You wrap your smaller palm around the circumference of Jungkook’s wrist and tug. “Kook, wake up. You’re enlisting today,” you murmur sleepily. He grunts and squeezes you tighter, signalling you to shut the fuck up. You open one of his palms and put it right over your face before your lick his entire palm. Jungkook does nothing in response, just wraps his arm around your neck and pulls you so you’re lying on top of him. 

You hit him with your palms. “Kook, let me go!” He secures his arms around your waist and arms, trapping you on top of him. 

He ignores your wriggling and squirming, and just suction cups his lips onto your sensitive neck and sucks. You feel the sensation of his tongue running against your skin, and it tickles, but it feels good, and Jungkook isn’t letting you go. 

After a good few minutes of leaving hickeys along your neck, he flicks his head back onto the pillow and sighs deeply. “Okay,” he breathes out, seemingly refreshed. 

His gaze fixes on the ceiling, tracing the slow rotations of the fan's wings as they circle endlessly. 

You nudge him, “Jungkook? Want to get ready?”

He says nothing, just stares at the ceiling and you sit up, tucking your hair behind your ear as you gaze falls onto the stoicism enveloping his features. “Jungkook?”

His eyes dart towards you, and it’s like everything changes. He finally comes to his senses. “Y/N, get the fuck out of my apartment.”

next part

[pagannatural]

2.03 Bloodlust

-Sam flirts with Dean by telling him (and the Impala) to get a room. Meanwhile he’s looking at Dean like this and the two of them are, literally, getting a room.

-Sam tells the bartender “we’re looking for some people” and the bartender says “sure, hard to be lonely.”

Sam blinks wide, grimaces. Dean looks at him, assessing. Sam looks down and then at Dean while he says “yeah, but, um…” slowly, then he regroups and pulls out a fifty, “that’s not what I meant.” There’s a sexual implication to being lonely and looking for someone at a bar, and the brothers share a very loaded look about it. It’s like this bartender accidentally hit on a truth.

Sam has been lonely for Dean. He’s been trying to get Dean to talk to him and spend time with him since their dad died, and Dean has been shutting Sam out emotionally. Sam knows Dean is lonely for him too, even though he won’t say it.

-Sam notices something is off when Dean says he’s been itching for a hunt. He and Dean also make prolonged eye contact after Dean kills a vampire and his face is spattered with blood, and Sam notices Dean is unsettled. They give each other strength just by staring into each others eyes. Sam’s always paying attention to Dean.

-Dean also notices right away that Sam’s off and asks him if he’s okay. Noticing Sam, for him, is less watchful and more like noticing the orbit of his own moon. Gravity’s off, something’s up with Sam.

-Sam went from correcting Dean every time he used Sam’s nickname to “he’s the only one who gets to call me that.” It’s so possessive, like he’s saying I’m his not yours. Dean notices and smiles to himself. Then he says “Sammy remind me to beat that buzzkill outta you later” you’re gonna do what to him later?

-Sam’s development from telling Dean he has to let him go to identifying him as the only one who can use his nickname is also the change from Sam seeking distance to Sam acquiescing to being Dean’s.

-Dean tells Gordon a story about killing a monster at 16 while Sammy waited in the car. He didn’t need to mention where Sammy was, he wasn’t a part of the story, but he has a condition* that makes him talk about Sammy to strangers whenever he’s not there (*wretched, soul-crushing love).

-Dean tells Gordon he always thought of his dad as indestructible. Now he’s questioning everything about his dad’s teachings and realizing the version of John in his head is not the only one.

-Sam says he sees through Dean’s fake smile and knows how Dean feels, because he feels the same way. When Sam says that Dean’s behavior is “an insult to [John’s] memory,” Dean kind of nods and raises his eyebrows like “you have no fucking idea” before punching Sam in the face.

-For once, Sam is way off about Dean. He has no idea how Dean feels or what he’s dealing with. The idea of insulting vs honoring John’s memory is complicated for Dean right now. He’s seeing Sam being protective of John for maybe the first time ever and I can just imagine Dean thinking, I raised you, and the man you finally want to respect as your father asked me to kill you.

-Dean looks regretful after he punches Sam, like he’s realizing he took it too far, and Sam looks hurt and taken aback, his eyes searching to and away from Dean and his mouth open. And then Sam tells Dean, “you can hit me all you want. It won’t change anything.”

There are some potential layers to that.

1. They’re arguing about something else here, at the same time—whether or not vampires can choose to act ethically or if they’re inherently evil. Sam implores Dean not to kill them, believing the former. Dean wants killing to be black and white due to Dead Dad’s Last Words reasons. Hitting Sam won’t make the issue any clearer.

2. Sam’s words could be interpreted as “you can hurt me all you want and it won’t change how I feel.” About Dean. Or “whatever you do it won’t change the way things are.” Between them.

3. Sam has been begging Dean to give him something real and emotional, he’s been pushing and pushing him to get a reaction, escalating and becoming more desperate. Now Dean has responded. He’s hurt Sam, but that means he’s touched him out of uncontrollable emotion—or better yet has chosen to inflict his feelings and needs upon Sam’s body. The pain is better than nothing.

It’s hard to be lonely.

-When I first saw this scene I was shook. Dean hit his baby brother! My best guess is that Dean has never punched him like this before, outside of the context of sparring. I might be wrong about that, but the way Sam accepts the punch and turns slowly back to Dean with that disbelieving look felt too significant. I thought Sam was going to feel betrayed or scared, but Sam’s resolve strengthens, he gazes after Dean, and then he follows him.

And then things go right back to normal between them.

-Another thing Sam is missing is that Dean trusts Gordon partially because Dean can identify with Gordon. Gordon said he hunts vampires because vampires killed his sister, and Dean trusts another protective brother.

-Sam tracks the nest and Dean says “you’re good. You’re a monster pain in the ass, but you’re good.” Just like that they’re reconciled. Sam’s face is probably still throbbing, it’s been like 3 minutes.

-When Gordon pulls a knife on Sam and admits he killed his sister himself, it’s over for him. Dean is not having any of that.

-Dean punches Gordon in the face in front of Sam, then moves really close to Sam to tell him they can leave now. It’s like he wants Sam to see what he’ll do to anyone who threatens him. Dean is the only one who’s allowed to hurt Sam. He also asks Sam to punch him to get him back, so he clearly feels guilty.

-Dean’s true nature is a huge theme in this episode. He’s trying to understand who he is. Gordon tells him that he was “born to hunt” and “a killer like me.” John wrote the same things about child-Dean in his diary.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam that he has the instinct to kill and would’ve killed the vampires. That’s how he was raised, it’s what John told him to do. I love how Dean is a caregiver and a killer in equal measure, he takes naturally to both violence and nurturing.

Sam reminds him he made the right choice. Dean says “yeah cause you’re a pain in my ass.” He made the decision because of Sam. He’ll kill for Sam but he’ll also decide not to kill for Sam.

Sam says “I guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass then.” Dean thanks him and gazes at him intently. Even here, notice the mention of their connection being painful.

Sam is now agreeing to stick with Dean not because of what John would’ve wanted but because he’s accepting his role as Dean’s guiding light, the one thing that gives him a sense of purpose and good.

Dean’s purpose is not killer or caregiver, but protector. He’s guardian of Sam’s soul.

[strniohoeee]

Polar

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader ⚠️SMUT⚠️

Synopsis:(based off my request I got earlier) while on a weekend get away, Matt steps out to the hot tub after having some anxiety, and asks Y/N to join, but then things get heated, more than just the water💧

Warnings⚠️: This is a smutty imagine. There’s just sex that happens in a hot tub, but there’s no real kinky-ness. Minors GET OUTTA HERE

Song for the imagine: Agora Hills- Doja Cat

This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact beyond this point⚠️

Laura had gotten the triplets, Madi and myself a cabin getaway in Boston so that we could all see eachother again after not seeing Madi for 3 months. Madi had flown in from LA, so after picking her up from the airport we immediately started driving to the cabin.

Matt was driving and I was in the passenger seat just jamming out to the music

“Y/N play Agora Hills” Nick said

“Fuck yes that’s my song” I said grabbing Matt’s phone and playing Agora Hills

Nick, Madi and I were all jamming and screaming the lyrics

“LOVE WHEN YOU HIT, AND SMACK TO, BABY LET ME LICK ON YOUR TATTOOS” I screamed, Matt looked over at me with a sly smirk

“WOAH I SAW THAT” Chris said pointing his fingers at us

“He doesn’t let me lick his tattoos” I said with a sad face

“You’re such a weirdo” Matt says laughing and blushing lightly

After he said that Looking for the hoes started playing by Sexyy Red

“SHAKE THAT ASS HOEEEEEE” I started screaming and Nick got on the seat pretending to shake his ass

“AYYYYY” I said turning around and smacking his ass

“Where’s my bills” Madi said pretending to throw cash on Nick

We were crying laughing at Nick's bizarre behavior, we spent the rest of the trip laughing and singing. Chris and I occasionally fighting because he thinks he’s right about everything

Eventually we get to the cabin and hop out stretching our legs, and grabbing our bags to head into the cabin

Once we get inside we run up the stairs to check the room situation. This is where we got confused. It was two bedrooms, one with 3 beds and one with 2 beds.

“What the fuck is this set up” Madi says laughing

“Who’s the idiot that did this” Matt said laughing

“Okay so I say me, Madi and Y/N in this room, and Chris and Matt in the other room” Nick said

“Why can’t Y/N be with me?” Matt said

“Uhhhh we’d prefer yall stay away from each other because yall are so feral” Nick said in a matter of fact way

“We are not” I said

“Mmm I beg to differ” Chris said

“You know what fine whatever” Matt said heading to the other room to set up his side of the room, Chris following after him

After we all settled in we decided to make something to eat for dinner, and watch some tv. This first night we just wanted to chill as the drive was kind of long up here.

“They got a jacuzzi” Chris yells as he comes running back inside

“SHUT THE FUCK UP” Madi says jumping up from the couch

“And it’s big too” Nick says looking out the window at the Jacuzzi

They decided to go into the jacuzzi but I wasn’t really feeling it, so I stayed in the living room watching Halloween 1978. At some point I went up to the room and decided to go to sleep.

After a while I opened my eyes to my phone buzzing. I looked around the room and saw Madi and Nick knocked out snoring slightly

I grabbed my phone and looked at the notification

Matt🥹

-hey I’m in the hot tub. Feeling up for it now pretty lady?

My heart flutter at the cute nickname he gave me

-Yeah I’ll be over in a few minutes :)

I got up and used the flashlight on my phone to look in my bag for my bathing suit, and once I found it I ran to the bathroom to change quietly. It was a deep forest green one piece that was super low cut, had the back completely open, and was cheeky style. It was a new suit that I knew would drive Matt wild

I put my pajamas back in the room and tiptoed down the stairs. When I got to the sliding door I could see Matt looking at his phone while I watched him like a creep. As I opened the door I felt the very chilly fall air nip at my skin, instantly shivering.

I stepped outside and closed the screen door, and walked over to Matt

“Hey baby” I said to him as I stepped up and into the hot tub allowing the warm bubbling water to soothe my shivering

“Hi pretty lady” he said putting his phone down

“Why are you up so late” I asked him as I walked over to him to sit next to him

“I was having a bit of anxiety for some reason, and decided to come to the hot tub and calm my mind” He said as I stroked his hair while looking at him talk

“What were you thinking about” I asked

“Nothing really just overthinking and I get anxiety, but I’m good now that you’re here with me” he says leaning into kiss me

After he pulled away I looked him with a sly grin

“Oh yeah” I said in a flirty tone

“Uhhh wish those dicks didn’t separate us” he said touching my arm and leaving kisses on it

“This is exactly why they separated us, we can not be left alone for more than 5 minutes without jumping on each other” I told him laughing a little bit

“How can I control myself when you look so beautiful all the time” he said leaning on my arm

“Well we’re alone now, and it’s 2am……we could have some fun” I suggested

“When you put it like that” he said biting his lip and grabbing me to sit on his lap

“Matt in the hot tub” I said after kissing him

“And why not?” He said kissing my neck

“Uhh seems unsanitary” I told him biting my lip as he kissed down to my breasts

“Kid, you’ll be fine” he said rolling his eyes and kissing my lips one more time

I had wrapped my arms over his neck and began to make out with him, slowly grinding my hips against his bulge

“Mmm fuck” Matt said throwing his head back a little bit

I took this opportunity to start kissing down his neck, lightly sucking in the areas I knew would make him putty in my hands

We continued to make out as I was grinding down on him, and he was groping my breasts

“Come on Matt I need you now” I told him giving him one last kiss

He slightly lifted me up, so he could pull out his dick, and then he pushed my bathing suit bottom to the side. Helping me slowly sink down onto his dick

“Fuck Matt I’ve missed this” I sighed into his neck as I slowly started grinding against him. He had his hands gripping my ass helping me

“Me too baby. Finally having some alone time” he said moaning as I clenched down on him

“Baby I’m getting tired” I said as my knees were starting to burn from scratching against the seat in the hot tub

“Okay pretty girl. Let me help” he said. I got off of him, and he turned me around walking me to the front of the tub, and he had me bend forward as he slid back into me. This made me grip onto the edge of the hot tub

“Oh shit Matt, oh my god” I moaned a little loudly as he was hitting all the right spots

“Shhh baby they can’t know” he said thrusting into me, and out of breath

Matt didn’t stop his ruthless pounding and my head fell down as I felt myself getting closer to my climax.

“Matt I’m going to cum please don’t stop” I told him gripping onto the edge of the hot tub even harder

For some reason this made Matt pound into me harder, and what I hadn’t realized was that my phone and three glass cups that Chris, Nick and Madi left behind were on the opposite ledge and were getting dangerously close to the edge.

Matt thrusted into me two more times at a vigorous speed, and on the third thrust all three glass cups, and my phone went crash onto the deck

“Fuck Matt. They might’ve heard” I said as he still fucked me

“No baby they didn’t don’t worry” He said getting close to his climax

“Oh Matt right there please” I said as he was hitting my G spot in such a delicious way

“I’m gonna cum” He told me, and I nodded my head leaning my head back in ecstasy. At the same time we both moaned out each others name and came so hard panting and gasping for air

“WHAT THE FUCK” we both heard as Matt was still in me and we were riding out our highs

“OH MY GOD” I screamed locking eyes with Chris, Nick and Madi

“What the fuck” Matt said as we both lowered ourselves deeper into the water so he could pull out of me, and pick his swim trunks back up

“What the fuck? We heard this big crashing sound that woke all of us up, and we thought someone had broken in” Madi says

“But it just turns out that loud sound was you two wild fucking animals fucking like your life depended on it” Nick said

“How much did you see” I asked embarrassed

“Lets just say your O faces are now engraved in my fucking head” Chris said starting to dry heave

“Exactly what I said. We can not leave them alone as they are like feral animals” Nick said

“Shut up and go away” Matt said flipping him off

“Yall I can not believe I’m about to do the walk of shame” I said getting up and out of the pool grabbing my phone off the deck

“Y/N spill all the tea please” Madi whispers to me as I walk past her, and into the cabin

“Sorry guys I truly did not mean for yall to see or hear anything” I said

“ITS TOO LATE” Chris said pretending to weep like a child

“My eyes are burning” Nick said

And Matt just walked in behind them and smacked them both

Matt and I both went upstairs to shower and change

And by this point it was 4am, so I decided to go to bed when I got a text on my phone

Matt🥹

-come lay with me?

-baby I won’t contain myself if I do I responded back to him

-true, okay get some rest, love you

-love you too matt

With that I ended up falling asleep, peaceful and sore ;)

The End

I know this one was short, but the request wasn’t too detailed, and I feel like how kinky can you get in a hot tub IDKKK, but I hope I didn’t disappoint @ whoever requested this 😚😚 My next Matt fic is going to be sad asffffff so get ready to cry

-J💅🏽

[juneberrie]

LOVE IS LIKE THE LOTTERY [ 🐍 ] DEUCE GORGON

summary ∿ deuce gets jealous when a guy tries to hit on you [ gn ! reader ]

after cleo and deuce broke up, monster high was desperately in need of a new it couple. and, a few months later, they found one: deuce and you.

deuce had always been popular, or whatever the equivalent was in monster high. by association, you became popular too. and, because you became popular, that meant you got lots of attention.

it wasn't a bad kind of attention; everyone at monster high (with the exception of a few ghouls here and there) was incredibly nice. but a few weeks ago, there was a new student joining. he was some cousin of torelai's and instantly became famous among the student body, particularly the ghouls, for his swoopy shiny hair and lilting voice. and his eyes. girls would swoon if he so much as gave them a cursory glance. but it was you he liked eyeing, and deuce didn't like that one bit.

walking through the maul hand in hand, deuce says, "wanna grab a drink 'fore we leave?"

you nod and the two of you make your way towards the coffin bean. deuce presses a kiss to your forehead, his snakes peppering little reptile kisses to your hairline. "go sit," he smiles. "i got your order, babe."

you thank your loving boyfriend and find a table for two. settling down in your chair, you watch deuce talking to the barista. your phone buzzes and you open it up to see a text from clawdeen.

clawdeen ♡ hows your date w/ deuce going????

y/n ✶ great <3 we're at the coffin bean rn

clawdeen ♡ oooo update me later bae

clawdeen ♡ kiss kiss love you !!

y/n ✶ love u 2 xoxo

hearing the chair scrape the tiled floor in front of you, you look up with a smile expecting to see your boyfriend.

its not. its torelai's cousin. he smirks lazily at you, one arm slung across the back of his chair.

"hey."

"uh.... hi? my boyfriend's actually gonna sit the—"

he waves you off, flashing another grin. "he won't mind, would he?"

"actually, i do mind, purrcy." deuce stands behind torelai's cousin, holding a steaming cup of coffee and a paper bag. "get outta my chair." the snakes on his head hiss at the werecat.

purrcy laughs, a hissy kind of giggle that makes every hair on you stand up. "can't i talk to one of my fellow classmates?" the way he said it made it clear he didn't think of you as a classmate. more as a . . . thing he wanted.

"yeah, well they don't wanna talk to you, dude," deuce snaps. his snakes start getting restless, a few even snapping in purrcy's general direction.

purrcy's head swivels towards you, still with that lazy grin. "well?"

"well what?" you ask. deuce had moved to stand next to you, putting the coffee down and gently placing a protective hand on your shoulder. it was comforting.

"do y'wanna talk to me, baby?"

deuce's fingers twitched on your shoulder. his snakes snapped at the air.

"no."

"see? go hack up a furball," deuce scowls.

purrcy's face darkens and he hisses, "asshole," as he pushes away from the table and stalks off. deuce lets go of your shoulder and moves his chair next to you.

"are you okay?" he asks, opening the brown paper bag and pulling out a pastry. he hands it to you, eyes worried through the lenses of his glasses.

"'m fine, deuce. thank you," you smile, accepting the pastry. laying your head on your boyfriend's shoulder, you take a bite of the delicious treat. he wraps an arm around you, taking a sip of his drink. he's quiet for a few minutes. you sigh and put down your half-eaten pastry.

"deuce. baby." you grab his face and gently turn it towards you. "i don't like him."

"i know," he says, sounding a bit defensive. he looks at you for a few seconds before slumping in his chair and pulling you closer towards him. "i just—" he sighs. "he's such a douche," he concedes.

"i know. but guess what?" you smile. his eyebrows furrow and one of his snakes cocks its head at you, curiously. "love is like the lottery, right? and i have you, so that means—" you press a kiss to the space between his eyes. "—i've won the lottery."

[all444miles]

Hiii, I just saw that you were doing requests so I was wondering if you could do e-42 miles with black readers hair? Like helping her pick out different braiding and natural styles, maybe some wash day headcanons as well?

— TOUCH MY HAIR

— pairing: e-42 miles x fem!black!reader — genre: fluff — summary: just miles loving you and your hair ‹3 — a/n: tyyyy for this req, i am squealing rn + i alr had this idea in my prompt list but u gave me a reason to start it !! ‹3 my hcs always got miles saying sum outta pocket then the reader calls him out then he goes “my fault”, its a lil funny motif ima keep on adding 😭 also the n word is used a bit in this, js sayin!! enjoy ♡ ᖭི(ˊᗜˋ*)ᖫྀ

we all know n we've established this, miles is more than happy to pay for ur shit, esp if its your hair.

he wouldn't think twice before sending you the money for you to get your hair done. he wont listen or care if you say no, either.

"miles, bae, why u sendin me 200?" "what else? so you can get your hair done, mami." "baby, you know damn well that's too much." "buy yourself some other stuff too, if you wanna, but that money yours now, i ain't takin it back." "you.. you do too much." "mhm, make sure to show me a pic of when you get it done, you heard?"

he's always your hype man, for sure.

i got a feeling he a major fan of faux locs or boho/godess braids, so if you got that on? he'll fold.

"dayum ma, that shit looks good." "i cant even lie, Aaliyah did real good on this. she sure was tryna make me go broke though.." "worth every cent, cuz you look fine as hell with them faux locs." "miles." "im just saying, mami, your hair, like.. lord have mercy." "miles!" "my fault, i ain't lying though."

when your hair’s all natural, he loves to watching you style your hair for school, events, etc.

one time you let him style your hair, and you couldn’t even lie, it actually looked pretty good.

“these edges.. how do y'all do this shit every day?” “miles, baby, it ain’t that hard. look, lemme show you.”

you had to show him a quick tiktok tut on how to do edges, took him 2 videos before he got it 😭

“see that? like a c shape, and swoop it.” “..like this?” “yeah! you gotta do that like, 4 more times though.” “ay, dios mio. (oh my God). Mama, i ain’t doing allat.”

and wash day? his absolute favorite.

(short drabble ahead!)

Good Days by SZA played from Miles' speaker, blasting in the background, the gentle splashes of the warm water from the shower onto your curls.

You relaxed, your head leaning back further into the bathtub, your lover grabbing your scalp massager and rubbing it into your scalp carefully, shampoo mixed in, the rest of your products on the end corner of your bathtub.

"Ma, you know you really needed this wash. Your hair was tangled as shit, like a lion or sum.” he says, laughing halfway through his sentence. You scoff at him jokingly, "Miles, when you have hair as long and thick as mine, you can violate my hair."

Miles protested, adding the conditioner to your hair, setting your scalp massager aside. "Baby, my hair is basically almost as long as yours."

"Yeah, almost." you spoke, putting your fingers up to his face in pinching motion, the gems on your acrylics just an inch close to touching his nose, a grin on your face. He backed up, pushing your hands out of his face, continuing your wash routine. "Princesa, lemme finish washing yo hair without your hands all up in my face."

About 3 and a half hours later, your hair was washed and in overnight twists with your bonnet on. You laid with Miles in your bed, legs on top of each others, tired.

"Y'know, you actually good at dealin' wit my hair." you spoke, giving Miles a kiss on his forehead. “When you got a mama like mine, you pretty much have to.” Miles chuckled, shaking his head. “You should let me do it more often.” You smiled in response.

He buried his head into the crook of your neck, slowly dozing off by the way you'd play with the silk of his durag. "I love you Miles."

He mumbled words once again into your neck, half asleep, but you knew what he said.

"I love you more, mi vida."

© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.

likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !

[bau-drabbles]

a/n: heavily inspired by those all posts but i can't find who they're from, i'm sorry 😭

your instagram but you're dating aaron hotchner :)

except i have no idea how to write for hotch/the team so it's definitely ooc 😹

part 2, 3, 4

liked by its.emilyp, d.morgan and 501 others

y/n_xo: bearded aaron hottie >> 😮‍💨😮‍💨

view all 100 comments

a.hotch: you tell me this after i shaved it all off

y/n_xo: you're still a hottie! just a beardless one 🤍

a.hotch: i'll grow it back for you

y/n_xo: my whole husband 🫶🥹

penny.garcia: you both make my heart so warm 💗 the ice king has finally melted his heart, this'll be such a good story for your kids! 🥹

d.morgan: yall make me so sick

its.emilyp: i feel like this man popped outta the womb with a glare looool

a.hotch: 🤨

its.emilyp: 🙂***

itsjj: suddenly i fear you have a whole stack of paperwork to complete

its.emilyp: and you'd be correct 😪

penny.garcia: SIR 🗣 AYO SIR 🗣🗣 SIR YOU LOOKIN FINE SIR 🗣🗣🗣🗣

reid.gram: not you thirsting over our BOSS 😦

d.morgan: i don't like this, babygirl

itsjj: sometimes sharing is not caring

its.emilyp: i hate it here ☹

penny.garcia: that wasn't me!! 😩 @/y/n_xo grabbed my phone!

y/n_xo: my bad, can't be thirsting on the main 🧍‍♀️

d.morgan: you can barely even see me, why we so blurry?

reid.gram: did you really expect high quality pictures from @/y/n_xo, be honest

the.davidrossi: always the blind ones out here taking 240p pictures

y/n_xo: always the old ones with the most audacity

d.morgan: FOULL 🤣

reid.gram: see, me personally i wouldn't take that type of disrespect

y/n_xo: all that iq and you still can't find a date 😔🤞

its.emilyp: that's my girl 😏

a.hotch: you stop influencing her right now

liked by blake_alex, the.davidrossi and 430 more

y/n_xo: new boyfriend applications, this one is mean 😒

view all 200 comments

a.hotch: wait does that sign not mean something good?

its.emilyp: no it does! nowadays it means peace and happiness

d.morgan: yeah it's also a way to say you love someone a lot

a.hotch: really? @/y/n_xo 🙂🖕❤

itsjj: LMAOOO

reid.gram: I CANT BREATHE

penny.garcia: IVE ALREADY SS THIS AND SENT IT ON THE GC 😂

y/n_xo: my poor man 😭

a.hotch: all of you are getting into trouble

its.emilyp: so worth it 😹

yourexname: i miss you ❤

a.hotch: you're going to miss when you didn't write this

penny.garcia: currently documenting every second of this

reid.gram: we're watching a historical event unfold, you guys

itsjj: i'm a little concerned for this man's safety

its.emilyp: hey, alls fair in love and war 😍

liked by a.hotch, itsjj and 532 more

y/n_xo: never leave your phone unattended pls

view all 300 comments

reid.gram: of course you choose the one picture of my double chin

y/n_xo: it's always out wdym

reid.gram: .... oh

d.morgan: you walked straight into that one, pretty boy

penny.garcia: you guys are so mean 😭 my poor boy wonder

reid.gram: all these haters and for what? 😒

its.emilyp: i smell the cheetos from here

itsjj: i did not eat any 😡

y/n_xo: liar. they were on the side

its.emilyp: called it. my cheeto girl ❤

penny.garcia: time to play cupid, methinks 😌

y/n_xo: budge over will, emily's taking your place ‼️‼️

its.emilyp: 😏

itsjj: 😳

liked by itslukealvez, reid.gram and 609 more

y/n_xo: two best friends in a room.... they might kiss 😳

view all 400 comments

the.davidrossi: how can i delete someone else's picture?

d.morgan: don't be embarrassed rossi, embrace your truth ✊

itsjj: we support you ✊

its.emilyp: sassy king ✊

reid.gram: hey, at least you and @/its.emilyp have something in common ✊

its.emilyp: literally choke

penny.garcia: you owe me 5 bucks @/y/n_xo 🥳

the.davidrossi: i hate all of you

itsjj: aww they look a little like henry and jack, forced to take a picture

a.hotch: that's because we were. this was the 10th picture

y/n_xo: that's cause you're so pretty ❤

the.davidrossi: i genuinely got heatstroke after this. never ever take pictures if @/y/n_xo is near

y/n_xo: :(

a.hotch: ignore him, he's on his sixth wife for a reason. i love all your pictures sweetheart ❤

y/n_xo: :")

penny.garcia: the absolute CUTENESS i CANNOT 😩🥹💗💗

its.emilyp: i can be a better boyfriend than him

y/n_xo: i love you

a.hotch: i am sorry??

reid.gram: damn the silence is loud

itsjj: reid don't be an instigator..... but do i sense a relationship forming? 👀

d.morgan: nah, i could treat you way better princess

a.hotch: @/d.morgan and @/its.emilyp both of you in my office now

[theosconfessions]

Senator Izzy Wolfe for @rainymoodlet s rock of love bc

traits-party animal/bro/adventurous WAIT..you say... party animal? didnt you just say he was a senator. INDEED. Senator Wolfes job is politics but its not his whole life. He came straight from the army reserves and moved swiftly into his role of senator much to his ex wifes dismay..mainly because of all of the travel he has to do.the campaign trail,my friends, it can be lonely. and thus.. our boy here has had some scandals. yet none of these detered any votes and to his shock he seems to landslide each election. go figure. maybe its his outspokenness or maybe he just got lucky and people missed the tmz article but hey. whatever it is.hes happy to be here. whenever hes not hungover. :) this all being said while he loves his job and his country he hasnt had a solid date in a VERY long time. his daughters 2 years old. he was separated from his wife during her pregnancy so its been a good bit. and although he loves his life theres something missing and something...well lonely.. about his house when he comes back to it. One of Izzys buddies seen scrolling through simstagram that a member of a rockband he used to be a fan of was starting up a bachelor challenge and knowing how well Izzy still kinda fangirls for this guy..he KNEW he had to bring it to Izzys attention. the rest is history bits and bobs :) age-44 fave colours- pink and black music- romantic music[ and billie eilish] will literally pee his pants when hes watching a horror movie. GO FIGURE. our boys all brave everywhere else but get him with a supernatural horror and he is OUTTA here. he'll watch it. just in case it ever happens to him and he knows how to get out of it. BUT he'll tear up a little bit has a pretty spicy simstagram that somehow hasnt gotten him fired yet. shares custody of his daughter. he gets every other weekend when he is in town likes- wearing no clothes/ dirty baseball hats/ calling someone who deserves it a c u n t [its his favourite word] airports/ the smell of woodsy cologne on other people..not him...but other people/ sunscreen/ being an amateur model dislikes- when someone calls HIM a c- u - n - t, being told that hes an idiot because of how he can be perceived based off of his looks/ cooking/ being lied to / mouth noises. idk. its just who he is.his daughters attitude <3

[iwanty0uu]

Pussy Monster

Pt 2┊͙✧˖*°࿐

“Holon” he said paying no mind to Eren , until he forced the phone into his hands, Connie kissed his teeth and grabbed the phone, he held the phone down and read every last story you posted, and internally, he panicked.

His mouth went dry and the increase of his heartbeat made his chain jumps between beats, and his eyes went dry, his brown furrowed deeply.His homeboys watched his actions cautiously, and Connie knew he was being watched.

He felt their gaze watch his every move and he knew better than to get anxious about this, so he let his anger get the best of him, forgetting that you were in the other room..

“Nah man what the fuck is shorty on?” he threw Eren’s phone on the couch and kissed his teeth, “Nah cus she always doin this shit like she bad or something nobody dont give a fuck.”

Now realistically speaking, if his homeboys weren’t there, he would have called your phone and begged you for your forgiveness no matter what, it didn’t matter if you weren’t even talking about him, he would still call and remind you how much he loved you.

Constance is a certified loverboy who was in love with you, his lover, his princesa and your name engraved in the passenger seat of his car proved it, but for some odd reason, he loved to do the most.

He was all bark and no bite which is why he said what he said behind your back, but every moment of his sorry ass act would have been embarrassing to someone who saw the real, vulnerable Constance

You woke up to yelling in the living room, your headache subsided, and you felt more energy, so you threw some clothes on, and was ready to argue with him. 

The creak of the door startled the men in the room, thinking they were the only ones home after hours of silence due to your nap.Connie’s eyes widened as he watched your figure lean on the door.

He looked around and his friends already knew they would hear about it in the groupchat, so they choose their battle wisely, and got the fuck up outta there.

“Safety bro” Ony said to Connie, dapping him up , all while making eye contact with you.

This nigga…

Hands crossed against your plush breasts, you raised your eyebrow waiting for what Connie would say next. He knew his ass was wrong, so would he really try to argue with someone as prideful as you?

“So the fuck was that bout Constance? You know how fuckin stupid look?” You said sarcastically, pushing up your chest. Your bare feet git the cold ground as you slowly made your way up to him, but you were met with Connie’s back as he walked away from you.

“Dont piss me off like you stay doin shit over social media” he plopped his ass on the couch and got back on the game like shit was sweet. This bitch is so annoying sometime.

A moment of silence made him uneasy, he shifted slightly in the couch, and you noticed how he was close to biting his top lip off.

“We done then.” you stated, finally getting his attention, you took his sweater off and threw it at him, revealing your plump breasts, your nipple piercing sat pretty on your left nip, and your belly ring moved as you walked.

“Y/n dont get me tight.”

Kinktober Special-

[pyschedtrickster]

TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

[juleswrites223]

10 Things desi!girlfriend has said ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

☆ Carlos Sainz jr x desi!reader ☆

1. Agar mei haar gayi toh mei kalesh kar dungi, dekh lena (if I lose then I’ll create a fight, just you watch)- This was when she was playing uno with Carlos and his friends

2. Give them money and still we have to cook ourselves anyway, could've stayed at home

Carlos: ay cariño 😂😂

- Them at a korean hotpot restaurant

3. Mumma said you look Indian and your handsome so she has no problem with our rishta (relationship)

4. Yaar ek ghanta ho gaya (it has been one hour); when will we reach? ;I’m feeling a little nauseous baby; no no i can't sit behind I get nauseous (typical aunty behaviour); just sleeping - during a road trip (based on the fact that my mom does this😭)

5. She does not talk a lot in hindi when with carlos mainly because he can't understand her but whenever she does, she refers to him by inko or aap. (for my non-desi girlies, in Hindi, “aap” is a formal way of addressing someone, similar to using “you” in English. It is a sign of respect and can also be used to show affection towards someone; mainly bc Carlos is older than her so aap makes more sense. Inko is also like that by its more like him or her yk depending on the context)

some snippets:

Desi!girlfriend: mei inko pooch ke batati hu (I'll ask him and let you know)

Desi!girlfriend: aap bade sweet ho (you're very sweet) *Booping him on nose while Carlos tucks her in after she decided to get drunk outta her mind*

6. A talk show host: 3 terms of endearment you call your boyfriend?

Desi!girlfriend: Baby, jaanu and EY!

(this is based off of what vicky kaushal said when karan johar asked him what nicknames his wife calls him; 0:23)

7. Desi!girlfriend: yaar look there i left it right there

Carlos: How many times I told you to leave it where I put it; now get ready soon or we'll be late.

Desi!girlfriend: *still talking with mom*

Carlos: *frustrated carlos noises*

-side kalesh going on while on phone with her mom (sign of true love? yes)

8. I told you one wrong turn and suddenly I lose my navigator privileges and my phone *she was also forced to sit in the back due to this incident*

9. Desi!girlfriend: smile karo na, everytime we take a picture it looks like im forcing you to smile.

literally carlos:

10. Desi!girlfriend: I would rather die than run another marathon ever again *out of breath after running a 5K*

Desi!girlfriend: I would rather die then give up chocolate

Desi!girlfriend: I would rather di-

Worried!Carlos: ENOUGH WITH THE DYING METAPHOR.

author's note: fun fact my mom did actually say he looks indian then proceeded to ask me if his parents are indians. Anyways babes I hope y'all enjoyed this bc i loved writing this.