#if you like the recaps more than I would wait so as not to spoil it

[beachyserasims]

Winning couple ceremony!!

The Start || Beginning of Episodes || Previous || Next

[apomaro-mellow]

King and Prince 23

Part 22

It was story time again. The kids were chattering as they got settled in on the couches and chairs. Eddie sat in his own special chair at the head. Steve almost didn’t come tonight. He had a lot to think about after the talk in the forest. He sat down at the end of a couch, Dustin, Will, and El acting as buffers between him and Eddie. A few times they caught each other’s gaze anyway, quickly turning away when they did.

There was a moment…they locked eyes and didn’t look away. The children’s chatter fading in the background. Eddie had his hands clasped in front of him, knees up as he perched on the chair like a gargoyle. He wondered what Eddie was thinking, what did he see when he looked at him? A spoiled, naive prince? Someone who needed constant watch? Someone he liked to see getting fucked?

What were they to each other?

Lucas snapped his fingers in front of Eddie’s face, bringing him back to the present and making him start the story. Eddie gave a quick recap of where they left off and then the kids had all of his attention. That left Steve able to stare unbidden. He was able to watch him gesture with his lovely hands, always adorned with at least three rings. His eyes, wild yet kind. His hair, that he knew was soft but didn’t know how it might feel between his fingers.

Steve knew the feeling spreading through him but was hesitant to call it by its name. The man before him was putting on a squeaky but commanding voice as he pretended to be a mouse knight to assist the adventurers on their journey. He was the same person who had transformed right before Steve’s eyes into a beast with fangs and claws. He had dispatched a bear and then let Steve pet him in the same moment.

When the story reached the end of tonight’s chapter, Steve didn’t linger. Instead, he walked out as the kids trudged, sticking close to Dustin. 

“Hey, can we talk?”, Steve whispered, keeping it between them.

“Can it wait until morning?”, Dustin asked, admitting he was tired by rubbing his eyes.

“No”, Steve pulled him into a random room.

“What’s the all about?”, Dustin plopped onto a chair. A fire was already going in this room and Steve wondered if somebody had just left it.

“I’ve been thinking recently about the things you said. About Eddie.”

“What about Eddie?”

Steve sighed. “About how I should start seeing that Eddie might have different sides but they’re all him. He is capable of great feats of power but…” he sat down next to Dustin. “He is also the kind to let you run over him.”

“So you guys are officially friends now?”

“I think it might be more than that-”

“Are you serious right now?”. Robin interjected, book in hand as she stood in the doorway. 

Dustin and Steve looked at her like children caught in the act. The fire roaring in a room with no one in it made more sense now. Robin came in, closing the door behind herself, arms crossed now.

“You two are having a midnight heart to heart about Steve and Eddie without me? Does that make any sense to you?”

Dustin held his hands up. “I was just dragged here. Technically it’s my bed time.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Don’t pretend to be responsible now.” Then he gave his attention to Robin. “I didn’t know you were so invested.”

“I just think it would be really funny if the man who wanted to kill our beloved king turned out to fall for him. I didn’t realize Eddie was sooo charismatic and charming.”

Steve’s face got warm and he covered it by walking over to the fireplace. He hadn’t really thought of those words in regards to Eddie before. He’d met many a flirtatious person. People who tried their best to woo him. People who knew which lines to use, just how much to touch without being pushy, and knew how to let their eyes linger on certain body parts without appearing lecherous.

Eddie had never purposely come onto him and yet Steve was longing all the same. Longing for a man he could never have.

“Even if I did think he was charming, what could come of it?”

“Probably flowers and poetry, right?”, Dustin said.

“Knowing him, really flowery poetry at that. And poetic flowers”, Robin added.

“You two are forgetting something though”, Steve said as he came back over to sit. “Eddie isn’t just Eddie. He’s a king. A king of a country I’m meant to fight at that.”

Robin groaned and sat on Steve’s other side, dropping the book onto the table. “I thought you let that go.”

“I have!”, Steve said quickly. “I have. That doesn’t-that doesn’t matter to me the same way anymore. But the world isn’t just the two of us.”

“What’re you saying? Are you worried about the rest of us?”, Dustin asked. “We might rib you but if you actually like Eddie, we’re not gonna string you up for it.”

“He has an entire kingdom to care for. And I don’t think the rest of that kingdom would be so kind as to forgive me and allow me to court their ruler.” Even if Eddie reciprocated, the announcement would make such waves that civil unrest was all but promised. And Steve couldn’t do that. He couldn’t risk that. Maybe if he still had his full status as a prince they could spin it as a political alliance. But at this current time, tying himself to Steve would have no advantages. 

“I think you’re imagining things”, Dustin said.

“I think you’re over exaggerating them”, Robin said. 

Steve had talked about it all he could and sent Dustin off to bed before going off himself, leaving Robin to her fireside reading. Eddie wasn’t an option. He just wasn’t. And to remind himself of that, Steve kept going out to meet lovers in town.

-----------------

Eddie curbed the jealousy in his gut when he saw Steve ride out to town. He didn’t own the prince, nor was he entitled to his affections. No, the problem wasn’t when Steve went out. The problem was how he pushed the curfew later and later. But the real problem didn’t start until the night Steve didn’t return at all.

Part 24

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[darkdemeter]

Dem Hi! I'm back with a bit of an unhinged ask here:

Im sure this doodle gives you an idea where this is going. I was just making myself some tea, and I was thinking about Lovers In Eden (i was going to listen to a song called Eastward of Eden by Amelia Day,hence the association). And Since I am a film student, a writer and i took script classes as my subject las trimester, i offer you this unhinged recap of my conspiracy theory. So LIE (Lover in Eden) introduces us to the idea that Strife killed Y/N after a bloodlust outburst,right? Well, at first i didnt think too much of it, but then the chapter ends with the four on earth, which felt a little disembodied from the prologue. Which brings me to the hipothesis which is: Strife's lover is on earth,reborn without their memories. My proof for this theory is this: 1) We know that in the darksiders universe there is such thing as a well of souls, we know they go through the kingdom of the dead to repent and then be reborn through the well. 2) you wouldntve put the line "Love slayer" if it wasnt relevant to the plot. (Writing often times includes phrasing things a certain way to hint at other things). 3) Why would you close the chapter where you did? What relevance does the fact that the four are now on earth have? Simple, Strife will find a reborn,survivor Y/N and will fall in love with them (and have a crisis once he realizes its a whole like soulmates finding eachother again situation) 4) and last (which came to me as i wrote this) if you were to center the story only on Strife and the reader without the reader being reborn, you wouldve just started it from the medieval age/wherever strife met the reader and not end with the four on earth. Of course dont gotta tell me if im right,dont want to spoil the whole fic anyways. But I felt the need to share this with you. (I genuienly felt like the pepe silvia meme). And yeah, one offshoot of all this is that maybe the reader isnt a reborn soulmate, and that the prologue could just set up this inherit guilt and fear towards love that Strife has. Until we get the next chapter, i lay in wait...scheming/lhj/hj Have a nice rest of your day and i hope you've enjoyed my unhinged ramble. -Jer. PD: i feel so silly for sending this whole thing but as a fellow writer i know theres nothing we love more than ppl theorizing about our stuff. So here you go. I hope it doest read as overbearing,i just genuienly love your stuff.

First off, I love your pepe doodle! It’s so perfect. In fact I find it so funny that I made this a little bit ago myself... (As much as I'd love to rant and such about my AUs' lore and headcanons, I made this for shits and gigs)

I absolutely adore hearing theories readers have about my fics. (Sorry this has taken FOR-EV-ER to respond to, I'm terrible with replying at times)

I also fucking LOVE that you're a film student, I think that makes this whole theory situation even better because I do tend to have a very movie-esque thought process when writing. (Blooper reel and BTS footage rent free in my head)

And I think I've got the mind stewing a bit with that recent post, Flowers From My Lover. Without hopefully giving away anything, you do have some valid and interesting points in your theories and has me going, "Oh Jer is good little detective." You get a cookie for your theory skills!

There are indeed certain key details and clues I put in on purpose and it's so interesting to see what readers pick up on. And yes, the well of souls is involved to some extent in this plotline, but not in the way you might think...

I also find your choice of the word "reborn" interesting. Very obviously and right out the gates, I will say that yes, reader is alive in this story. But it's the manner in which reader's alive and again, the reborn theory is interesting and again, possibly not in a way you're expecting. Though it seems rather simple, I will tease that there is... quite a bit more to it than what's at face value.

And I wanna tease this little clue too because it is one of my favourites: It's interesting how the fic's title has a double meaning in plain sight...

[azucarmorena97]

Money Ties (Jungkook Love Story || Pt.6)

Pt.5 || Pt.7

Your parents have worked hard to get to the top and have made sure to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in this business: from tough but lucrative financial decisions, down to the right ball gown for any given banquet. A promising and extravagant future awaits you- that is, if you agree to one teensy detail...

Son of Mr.Jeon Sr. and heir to June Company, Jeon Jungkook is an immature playboy with nothing to offer a woman but good looks and a crap ton of money, and he stands to inherit much MUCH more, so long as you both enter into the arranged marriage contract that was drawn up before the pair of you were even born.

You're more than willing to try, but you're not sure you'll be able to stand each other long enough to inherit a single penny...

Series Warnings: There will be smut in the near future and I will label those chapters as such. As I say before most of my pieces- I do not endorse any themes, ideas, or behaviors in this series. This is all purely fiction/fantasy! Feel free to inbox me suggestions/ideas/what you'd like to see in this series and I'll see what I can do! Enjoy <3

Recap: When you both sit back down, Jungkook is quiet- like he's lost in thought. "So...who's Lisa?" You ask, pretending to be completely oblivious. "She's...just a mutual friend between Rosé and I." Again, it seems like a topic he'd rather avoid. "Alrighty..." You say, pursing your lips.

- You look down at your hand and can't help but smile. Oh, how easy it is to get carried away and forget that none of this organic....but is it so bad to dream?

You slept the most solidly last night than you have in months- even before you came to Korea, you had horrible insomnia from just how much stress you've been under. As you fell asleep, you played and replayed the events of your evening frame by frame, reliving the fun conversation and laughters...and even that strange moment between him and that girl, Rosé. He seemed so...evasive when you asked him who Lisa was. You quickly shoved it to the back of your mind, not really wanting to let it spoil the great evening you had with Jungkook.

You're awakened by your phone buzzing against your bedside table, though you aren't bothered at all the way you usually would be. Residual contentment from last night, you suppose. You look at the screen to see who it is and your joy only grows when you see it's B/f/n. You answer the facetime with a big smile, "Heeeeey." "Wait a minute, you're not grumpy this morning or crabby. What's going on?" She asks, a knowing smile on her face. You don't respond, you simply lift up your left hand and show her Jungkook's ring. Her eyes widen and she begins cheering, "NO FREAKING WAY. Did Jungkook give that to you?!" She asks. You nod, "Yes. Last night- it was after dessert, we were in the car-" "Wait, after dessert!?" "Yeah, After dinner we got dessert at-" "DINNER!?" She gets more and more excited with ever passing second, "One day without a call and I miss all the good stuff!" She whines, causing you to laugh. "I know- I gotta tell you, this guy is way different than I thought." "Is he fabulous? Are you falling in love?" She asks, propping her chin up on her hand. "I- I wouldn't say that..." You blush, feeling very vulnerable with that question. You've only known the guy for about a week- you're definitely not in love with him...but you would be lying to yourself if you said you weren't kind of starting to...warm up to him considerably.

"Ugh...I wish you could just be here so I could tell you everything in person," You sigh. She purses her lips as though she wants to say something but won't spit it out. You narrow your eyes at her, "Wait- what is it? What are you not saying?" "I'm not at liberty to say," She say, looking around the room she's in to avoid direct eye contact. "B/f/n," You say sternly, "Spill it." "Okay fine," She caves (without very much effort, as per usual) "Your parents are traveling to Seoul tonight," She says excitedly. You don't even know how to process what she's just said- your parents? South Korea? You can't imagine how that'll go, considering the fact that your dad won't even look at you on a video chat. "M-my parents?" How are you going to survive another week here with them also being here. "Yes, and guess what else..." Oh God, you can't even imagine what bomb she might drop next. "...what else..." You ask, pursing your lips to prepare yourself. "THEY INVITED ME TO COME ALONG!!!!!!" She exclaims. Your eyes widen and let out a little scream, "NO WAY!" You celebrate with her.

With her here, the trip will go much smoother. She'll be like a buffer between you and your parents. Surely the won't act up as much with guests around, right? "It was supposed to be a surprise but- I mean, clearly they don't know me at all if they thought I could just keep that to myself," She sighs. "You don't even know how happy you've just made me," You sigh, "It's just too bad you won't be here in time for Jungkook's party tonight. I'm gonna be in a sea of people I don't even know." "Ugh, I know. But think of it this way, tomorrow is completely ours." "You're right- I'll just hold on to the promise of tomorrow," You sigh dramatically. "Please do. Alright, my lunch break is almost over- I'll call you tonight when we're on our way to the air port- don't tell your parents I told you!" "Of course not, scout's honor. Bye!"

When she hangs up, you toss your phone next to you and sigh, staring up at the ceiling. You think about what your parents might say when they see you, what you and B/f/n might go do to pass the time, and before you know it, you're drifting off back to sleep for just a little longer.

Your head hangs upside down as you blow dry your hair, trying to hurry before the car arrives in an hour. You'd been lazy all day, opting not to do any of the items on your itinerary that your dad had planned out for today. This is the most rest you've gotten all year. You finish up with the blow dryer and then move on to thoroughly combing and straightening, then to your makeup. Before you know it, 50 minutes have gone by. As serene and calm as you were feeling this morning, now you're a ball of nerves. You've never been great in super social situations- you usually pop in, pop out, go home. Would Jungkook have an issue with you doing that with his party? Surely he wouldn't be bothered- then again, he isn't just some acquaintance or casual friend; he's literally your fiance. What are the rules? DAMMIT, WHAT ARE THE RULES!? You stand in front of the mirror and take a deep breath, "Everything's gonna be fine."

You can hear the music from a block away from the club where the party's being held, and you see a sea of cars lined up outside; men and women all dressed and ready to leave their inhibitions at the door. You feel very out of place already. "I'm sorry ma'am, I think I'm going to have to drop you off here because of all the traffic." "Oh, no worries. I can walk," You assure the driver, grabbing your purse and stepping out of the vehicle. The night air is chilly and lifts the hem of your dress ever so slightly. You walk down and get in the long line, praying it'll move quickly.

After five minutes or so of the line not movie, you hear a slightly familiar voice coming from the direction of the door. "Hey, it's you!" You turn and see the drunk guy from the ice cream parlor- Seokjin. You swallow, feeling shy. You're not really used to conversing with strangers out of the blue. "How are you?" He asks. You give a fake smile, "I'm-I'm good. Uhm, Seokjin, right?" "Please, call me Jin," He smiles back. Again, he smells like alcohol and cologne, but this time, he seems to be very coherent and lively. "Alright," You say, crossing your arms over your chest in slight discomfort. "What was your name again?" "Y/n." "Y/n, right...what a beautiful name," He says, stepping closer to you. You feel your cheeks getting hot and you want to tell him to give you some space, but it's like your voice is stuck in your throat. It's not that Jin isn't attractive- he's actually quite handsome and looks to be a sharp dresser, but you've never been one for men to approach you like that. You're more of a friends-first kind of girl. You also remember the girl who went to pick him up: the fire in her eyes, the venom in her tone- you'd hate to be at the other end of that. "Thanks," You try to keep it short, not wanting to entertain his flirtatious advancements any further.

"You really shouldn't be out here waiting. If you want, I can help you cut the line," He says, completely lacking self awareness as he casually throws his arm around you. You shake your head, "No, that's okay. That wouldn't be very fair." "Oh come on- what's not fair is Jungkook making you wait in freezing cold. What are you to him, anyway?" "I-" "She's his fiance," Namjoon steps in plucks Jin's arm off from your shoulders, letting it fall. Everyone turns and watches the exchange. Jin's eyes widen, and he turns to look at you and then back at Namjoon, "Fiance- what- I had no idea. I'm so sorry," He bows profusely, cheeks as red as yours were a second ago. You want desperately to hide behind Namjoon- relieved that he got there just in the nick of time. Namjoon rolls his eyes, "You should be apologizing to your girlfriend, ass wipe." Jin's eyes widen even more, "Please don't tell her." Namjoon waves him away and turns to you, "Sorry about that, Y/n. Follow me," He holds his arm out a good distance from himself for you to grab on, which you gladly do. You pass all the people of the line, and they all watch as you cut past them. Some have scowls on their face, some intrigue, but all watch.

"This way," Namjoon says, taking you up a staircase to a balcony that oversees the entire club. From up top, you see people upon people: dancing, drinking, and even some blatantly doing...other substances, out in the open. There's quite a few people on the balcony, though nothing close to all the bodies down on the lower level. "Oh, I guess he's down there mingling," Namjoon says, looking around and not seeing him. Some people glance at you, though they don't seem to care about your presence; they're too preoccupied with their own drinks and merriment. "Guys, this is Y/n," Namjoon says when he gets to a circle of seats in the far corner. Everyone turns and gives polite smiles, followed by a series of hello's. "What are you drinking?" Namjoon asks after you sit down. You shrug, "A beer would be great," You sigh, already feeling a bit overwhelmed. "Be right back." He leaves you with the people who'd been there first. "How do you know Jungkook?" One of them asks: a guy with slightly long lazily slicked back hair and high cheekbones asks. "I- uhm, I'm a family friend." "Oh, okay...I'm Hoseok, by the way." You nod, "Nice to meet you." "I just saw 'Kook a minute ago," A guy next to him says, "I think he went to go make a request for the DJ." It really does seem like everyone Jungkook knows is attractive because this new guy has like, the smoothest skin ever. His face is almost angelic, with beautiful eyes and brown shaggy hair- soft features for as deep of a voice as he has.

"Your drink," Namjoon says, walking up and sitting next you. You bow, "Thanks so much." You take a sip and continue looking around, trying to relax. While you really would like to drink something harder, you don't like the idea of being out of control in such an unfamiliar environment. "I- I didn't expect to see you here," You say to him. He chuckles, "Yeah, well, I- I'm not just Mr.Jeon's assistant. I'm also Jungkook's babysitter." "Ah, I see," You laugh. "A lot of people here. Jungkook seems to be very popular." "He's always been a bit of a social butterfly, I guess." "Have you known him long?" "Oh yeah, since high school. We were never friends or anything but I did know him. Plus, I've been working for his dad since I was nineteen or so." "Wow, long time." "Tell me about it," He snorts, taking a sip of his own drink, "Don't get me wrong- at his core, Jungkook's a good guy. It just takes digging through all that...horse manure to really find it." "Well, how sweet of you to say," Jungkook interrupts, walking up to you both. Namjoon doesn't even batt an eye; completely unfazed by Jungkook's literally being his boss' son. "Y/n," Jungkook says with a smile, "You should've let me know you were here." You shake your head, "No, no. I wouldn't want to distract you from your party-hosting duties. Plus, Namjoon was already keeping me company." "Oh, I'm sure," Jungkook side-eyes Namjoon.

"You gonna get out there to dance?"Jungkook asks, raising a brow at you. You're quick to shake your head, "I'm definitely not drunk enough for that." "Oh, come on. I bet-" "Jungkook, Yoongi's asking to speak to you really quickly. Need me to come along?" Namjoon interrupts, looking down at his phone with his brows furrowed, scrolling up and done intently. Jungkook sighs, "I'm sorry- he's one of our partners at the company. Do you mind?" "Not at all, go ahead," You smile. "Okay, I'll be back in 15 minutes. Start counting!" He quickly gets up and pats Namjoon's shoulder to follow him. You then take the opportunity to go downstairs and make your way to the bathroom that you'd spotted a few minutes ago at the very far corner of the club. Surprisingly, the bathroom is relatively empty, save for a couple other occupied stalls- you're glad because you have to piss like a damn racehorse. You sit down and let out a quiet sigh of relief.

As you're finishing up, you hear the main door to the bathroom open and close, with the voices of two people echoing against the tile- one of which you recognize. "He's definitely looking more mature these days," It's Jin's girlfriend- Rose, and then a voice you've never heard before, "I know. I'm glad- I thought I'd have to wait forever for him to grow the fuck up." "Wait- but what about that girl they were saying he was with right now?" "What about her?" The stranger scoffs. "I mean, Jin did say she was his fiance..." "Oh, please. That relationship isn't real. Jungkook's just being forced into it by his family so he can inherit the company. He even told me he'd back out of it if I asked. And it looks like that time is coming soon." "Damn, Lisa. You're stone cold." Lisa? THE Lisa? "I promise I can be nice- I just don't like the idea of him not being there for me anymore, you know?" "Yeah, it'll be a huge change. He's so used to following you like a little puppy." Your heart is pounding; you can't believe your ears. The boldness and disrespect- the way they're talking about him is...blood boiling. You open the stall door and walk right up to the sink. At first, they pay you no mind, that is, until you make a point of sliding off the precious engagement ring that Jungkook had given you and place it on the ledge at the bottom of the mirror so that you can wash your hands. You can practically see the moment they notice; the way Lisa's mouth falls open is priceless. "That's...a nice ring," She says. You know she recognizes it, but you act dumb, "Thank you," You say, plastering a fake smile on you face before grabbing a paper towel and drying your hands and then walking out the door.

While it was definitely a delicious moment, you couldn't help but feel a tinge of sadness. What she said wasn't completely untrue; he was bullied into this engagement by his parents, just like you were. It isn't the way a natural relationship would go, sure...but that doesn't make the rest of what she said okay. There has to be a line somewhere. You go back upstairs and find that Namjoon is sitting right where you were before he was whisked away by whatever impromptu business meeting. "Hey, where'd you run off to?" He asks. "Had to find the ladies room- is Jungkook not back yet?" You sit down next to him again. "Nope. Went off somewhere right after. You know, to tell you the truth, I hate these things." "What things?" "Parties, They suck. If it weren't because Mr.Jeon specifically asked me to come, I'd be at home right now." "What does he do at these things that requires so much supervision?" "What doesn't he do? I mean, for gosh sakes. Nineteenth birthday, he ran up his parents card buying drinks for himself and his friends, and for the rest of the damn bar. Twentieth birthday, completely trashed the banquet hall- he's lucky it was at his parents' hotel, otherwise he would've been totally arrested. But none compares to his twenty-fourth party, right after Lisa broke up with him-" Namjoon catches himself, stopping mid-sentence and looking away, "I mean- he- he just gets really wild at these functions..." "Namjoon," You tilt your head, narrowing your eyes at him, "Give me the tea."

"I don't know what you're talking about," He take a drink from his cup and surveys the bottom floor, "I think I'm gonna go dance-" He tries to get up, but you put your hand on his shoulder and force him back down, "Namjoon, I'm gonna be spending the rest of my life with this man. I gotta know." You look at him with pleading eyes, desperate to just be let in somehow. He sighs, "Fine," He looks around to make sure everyone is still off socializing and paying no attention, "Jungkook met Lisa during their first year of high school. They became pretty close pretty fast- he was definitely in love with her very early on but she friend zoned him pretty hard until right after their last year of high school. They were pretty inseparable and..." He trails off, biting his lip as though contemplating whether or not to continue. "Namjoon, please." "...and they even talked about getting married. He was getting ready to confront his parents about being with her and wanting to void your guys' marriage agreement, but the week before he could, she dumped him." Your heart is beating hard in your chest. So she was the one who got away... Great. Perfect. "Was it bad?" You ask, trying not to show your worry. "It was horrible. Dude went off the rails. It was like nothing I've ever seen before. During that time of his life, he was fighting some demons like you wouldn't believe. His parents had to send him to rehab because he'd picked up a nasty coke habit- I literally watched him snort off a model's ass cheeks once." "What the hell," You furrow your brows, trying to imagine Jungkook doing something so wild. Of course, you've only reconnected with him now, but even from what you've seen, he seems a lot more controlled than that.

"Why'd she do it?" "Do what?" "Break up with him." "Oh, I think she told him...it was because he needed to grow up. He was immature and irresponsible. It truly crushed him. But the rehab helped a lot and now...you," He smiles gently. "Me?" "Yeah- I mean, that's the very reason why his parents wanted this for him in the first place. He needs direction." "Direction, right." Me? I'm the direction? "Do you think he still loves her?" You ask, not even sure if you want to hear the answer yourself. He furrows his brows as though deep in thought, "I...I don't know. It's hard to tell with Jungkook. I mean, they're still friends. She's here tonight, by the way. I know they've kept in touch but I think he kind of lost hope for that relationship, honestly." You replay Lisa's words from earlier in the bathroom; how he sounded so sure she'd just up and leave...and maybe she's right. Maybe he would leave it all behind at the drop of a hat. Maybe this isn't where you belong after all. You're brought out of your pensive state when you feel your phone buzz in your bag. "Sorry," You say, taking it out and seeing a text from B/f/n.

𝙱/𝚏/𝚗: 𝙱𝚘𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚠! 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗'𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞!!!!!! 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝙶𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚗𝚊𝚖? 𝙵𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 :)

You smile, feeling your stress momentarily replaced with joy at the thought of finally having a friend of your own here. You look around and don't see Jungkook anywhere, so you pull his number up in your phone.

𝚈/𝙽: 𝙷𝚎𝚢, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸'𝚖 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚋𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗. 𝙲𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚔 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝?

You put your phone down and sigh, "Thanks for telling me all that, Namjoon. I...I really appreciate it." "Yeah- but if Jungkook asks, Jin told you." You laugh and nod, "Deal." "Do you need me to walk you out?" He asks. You shake you head, "No, I'm okay. Jungkook will do it." "Alrighty- well, if you excuse me, I think I'm gonna go get myself another drink." "No problem. 'Night!" And with that, he's down the stairs and lost in the sea. You look at your phone and see no reply, though you do see that that the message was seen 4 minutes ago. He should be on his way shortly, then.

Half an hour goes by and nothing. Not a single word. Every passing minute, you're getting more and more annoyed. You finally stand from the couch and look out form the balcony to see if maybe you can find him yourself- but then you see him. In the far side of the club, right by the DJ booth, Lisa is throwing her head back and laughing at something Jungkook is saying, her hand lightly hitting his chest. He's laughing too, and you see his arm gently resting on her shoulders, holding her just too close for comfort. Your heart sinks and you're pretty sure your face was visibly crestfallen. But now you know where his heart truly lays, don't you?

You calmly sling your purse over your shoulder and make your way down the stairs, passing all the people you'd met when you first came in who hardly even notice you pass. This isn't your world and you don't even know what you're doing here in the first place. Can this agreement even work? Are you just gonna pop out a few kids and then he and Lisa can go and ride off into the sunset? "Y/n?" You hear someone call your name but you can't be bothered to see who it is- the room feels like it's spinning and you just need a second to breathe. That's it- just some air. Just a little bit of air.

"Y/n..." You hear your name being softly called, but you can't even will your eyes to open. The darkness is just too comforting. "Y/n..." The voice calls again. You tense your face, slowly coming to. "Mmm," You whine, finally feeling a throb in your forehead. You open your eyes, taking a few blinks to adjust to the brightness of the room, and you're surprised to see Namjoon standing over you, along with...B/f/n- and your parents. You quickly sit up, though it only makes the throbbing worse, "What- what's going on?" "Oh, goodness, you're awake-" Your mom says, tears in her eyes as she practically throws herself on you. "M-mom- too tight." You look at your dad who looks relieved, though he doesn't say anything. "Finally, dude- you had us worried sick!" B/f/n says, sighing loudly. "What happened?" You ask, looking around and realizing you're in a hospital room. Namjoon steps forward a bit, "Well last night, you were leaving the party but you seemed totally out of it. Your eys looked totally glazed over like you weren't mentally present. I called your name but you ignored me- I managed to catch up to you when you got outside but you passed out right then and there. "Last night? What time is it?" You've been knocked out all night? "12PM," Your dad answers. "I told you ladies don't get drunk," Your mother hisses, though you let it slide because you know she's only worried. "I wasn't drunk at all," You say, "but why does my head hurt?" "Oh yeah, you banged your head on the concrete. Got a concussion," He added, "I didn't know what to do so I just called 112. The ambulance picked you up and they called your family. I called the Jeons right after you got to the hospital." "You called the Jeons?" "Yeah- Mr. and Mrs.Jeon were here all morning but they had to go into some meetings. They said they'd be back in a few hours," Namjoon assures you. "I don't want to see Jungkook." You say, looking away. Your parents, B/f/n, and Namjoon all look at each other, and it's a long moment before anyone of them speaks. "He's...in the bathroom right now," B/f/n says. "What?" You whip your head toward them, wincing at the pain. "Honey, he's been here all night. Why wouldn't you wanna see him?" You mom asks. You look at Namjoon who just looks down knowingly. "I just...don't want him to see me like this." Liar.

"Oh honey, he wouldn't care about how you look- you're his fiance for crying out loud," She says, trying to reassure you, "Right, F/n?" She turns to your dad, wanting him to step into the conversation but he just looks at you, eyes narrowed. You squirm under his gaze and try to ignore him. "Namjoon, just tell him to go rest." He nods silently, knowing not to challenge you right now. "I'm going to go to the ladies room," Your mom says, leaning over to give you a kiss. "I'll be back, Y/n. I gotta take a piss too." "Language," Your mom hisses. You can't help but give a little chuckle as they walk arm and arm out of the room, leaving just you and your dad. You twiddle you thumbs, regretting having sent Namjoon out now. "What's up?" You ask, unable to take the silence. "You're acting strange," He says, a suspicious expression on his face. "Uh, yeah- I mean, I am concussed." "What did he do?" He asks bluntly. Your heart picks up in your chest, "What did who do?" "Don't act dumb." Your dad was never on to mince words. "Dad, I don't know what you're talking about. Everything's fine." "Hm." "Dad, you know if you came all the way here just to be a pain in my ass, I'm sorry but you'll have to go," You snap, feeling frustrated at his lack of warmth. He sighs, and it's like you can visibly see his body loosen up. "I-I'm sorry, Y/n. I know that I've been very cold to you the past week and a half." You're shocked.

"You're sorry?" "Yes. I am... I guess, when it came down to it...I was too afraid to come to terms with the fact that I was losing my baby girl." "Afraid of losing me? I thought you were angry about the contract." He shakes his head, "No...I knew I was settling for so little. I suppose I was more upset that it was clear that you didn't really need me anymore," He reaches out and carresses your cheek, "I'm sorry for making you feel like this. I'm sorry for putting all these pressures on you at such an early age. You deserved to live life the way you wanted." His words bring tears to your eyes, and if it werent for the pain invading your entire brain, you'd have leapt into your fathers arms- but for now, a hand squeeze will have to suffice. "Now, I know you may not want to talk about...whatever it is that happened between the two of you, but just know that your mom and I are here. And even B/f/n... that girl really never stops talking, does she?" You laugh, "Nope."

The hospital discharged you around 2pm and now you're on your way back to the hotel. Your parents got a lovely master suite, while B/f/n opted to room with you. Though the doctor told you to rest, the two of you are already planning what you're gonna do while she's here. She takes her clothes out of the suitcase and transfers them over to the dresser below the television. You'd kept the conversation light while you were in the car with your parents, but as soon as you got to the room, tea was spilling left and right. You told her about the dinner, Jin and Rose, the ring, Jungkook's birthday party. It was so cathartic to relive everything through retelling- and seeing her reaction to everything is the icing on the cake. "Ugh, that guy's such an asshole...although, you did not prepare me for just how hot he is," She says, fanning herself. You chuckle, "Oh, please. He's alright..." "Girl, he is much more than alright. More than fine, even. If I were you, my hands would be connecting to Lisa's left cheek so quick," She pretends to box the air, "I might just do it for you." "Trust me, I wanted to...but at the end of the day, I have to remember there are no feelings involved in this process. I knew that coming into the agreement and I shouldn't expect it to change just because I was starting to..." "To...?" She asks, a smug expression on her face. "Nothing." "Starting to...like him?" "I said nothing." She shrugs, "Alright...you know, I will say- he sat at your bedside the majority of the night, and he looked really concerned. But no feelings, right?" "Right. No feelings." Your phone buzzes on your nightstand and you pick it up.

𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚔𝚘𝚘𝚔: 𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝚈/𝚗- 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚐𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚎𝚏𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚘𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕. 𝙷𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐? 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞… 𝙲𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎

Your heart flutters in your chest, though you force your face to remain without expression. No feelings.

The Jeons invited you all to a charity banquet being held at their other hotel location tonight, and of course, your mom had gone out beforehand to get you and B/f/n gowns for the occasion. B/f/n's was a lovely powder pink, velvet, body con dress with silver detail and she looks absolutely stunning. "You look beautiful!" "I know, right? But where's yours?" She asks, a puzzled expression on her face. You purse your lips, "I...don't think I'm gonna go." "Why?" She asks with a pout. You shake your head, "I just don't feel well, you know? Head still hurts." "Your head? Or...your heart?" She exaggeratedly puts her hand to her chest and gives you that stupid therapist face she likes to put on. You roll your eyes, "My head only." "If you don't go, I'm not going," She says, turning to look in the mirror, a disappointed expression on her face. "No, no. You should go. This is your first night in Seoul- you shouldn't be locked up here on account of me. Besides," You walk up behind her and fix her hair, "You could be meeting the male lead to your love story tonight." Her eyes light up at the possibility. She's truly a hopeless romantic at heart- you wouldn't want to kill her delusions now. "Are you sure?" "Mhm. Positive." "Alright, fine. But the second you say you need me, I'm coming back and we're watching movies and eating junk food." "Sounds like a plan." She excitedly goes into the bathroom and begins doing her makeup and hair, humming to whatever tunes she has playing in her air pods. Meanwhile, you're laying in bed, hair up and out of your face, buried in the white covers.

"Alright, we're all going now," B/f/n says, putting her earrings on, "You sure you don't need me to stay?" "I'm positive. Go get laid- I mean, go find the love of your life." She laughs, "Oh shut up. Text Jungkook back. Don't sulk." You don't even look at her, just wave her away while your eyes stay glued to the TV. "Bye bye!" She says once more before closing the door behind her. And then there was one.

An hour goes by, and then two. Your phone buzzes every now and then: texts from Jungkook. You put your phone on DND, save for your parents and B/f/n. You go on instagram and see B/f/n's story; the hall full of people at grand tables, lavishly decorated with ginormous vases full of long stemmed roses, chandeliers sparkling in the background. Part of you wonders if most of the money being donated is just to cover the absolutely ridiculously expensive decor. B/f/n is smiling and showing herself having fun- even Namjoon makes an appearance in one of the videos...as well as Jungkook. You purse your lips and look over at your gown, draped over the back of a chair nearby. No, no. You're not in the mood to be around all those people. What would you even talk to anyone about? What would you say to Jungkook? No, you won't even entertain the what if's- you're not feeling well and that's that.

Ah shit. You shoot up out of bed and start stripping off your clothes, flinging everything every which way as your hurriedly try to shimmy into your dress. It's a pretty, dark red gown with a deep plunging bodice; your cleavage isn't exactly on 'display' per se, but it's definitely not hidden behind that little mesh panel in the middle. It accentuates your hips in just the right way, and you already feel the difference in your attitude when you put it on. You check the time: 8:30PM. You try to hurriedly do your hair and makeup, though you can only go so fast while recovering from a concussion. Suddenly, you hear thunder in the distance. No. NO. You run to the window and, lo and behold, rain begins pouring down out of nowhere. Oh great. You're gonna step out into the rain and get all messed up. "I"m still gonna go," You say to the sky not wanting to let it think it won. You run over to put the last touches on your appearance. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Is this some kind of sign from the universe!? You grab your clutch and then hurry to grab your phone. You didn't even book the fucking car. "Ugh...Uber it is-" Knock. Knock. Knock.

You snap your head up from your phone to look at the door. They're back already? No, it can't be- she just posted fifteen minutes ago about barely being served dinner. Knock knock knock. You hesitate for a moment, but ultimately decide to open the door- only to reveal a very disheveled and sopping wet-looking Jungkook. "Jungkook," Your shocked expression is no match for the expression on his face: serious yet gentle eyes, lips parted slightly as he catches his breath, leaning lightly on the door frame. "What are you doing here?" You ask. He bites his bottom lip and just stares at you for a second, "You didn't come tonight." "You never came back last night," You say, not missing a beat. He nods, "I know..." You rest your hand on the door for a bit, considering whether or not to let him in. "Come in," You say finally, stepping aside to let him in past you. You suppose the rain can wait for you...

A/N: Hey everyone, I hope you're all enjoying this series so far- I'm having a lot of fun writing it. I feel like I get pulled into this world of fantasy and am so addicted to it. My asks are always open so feel free to request anything please please please <3 Or give me a writing prompt and I can make you a piece for a specific member of your choice! Interactions give me motivation :) :*

[carnelianwings]

Went and saw Gundam Seed Freedom in theatre last night, I have so many thoughts about it (as you'd expect for a long time fan - I've been waiting for this movie ever since they announced it), there will be spoilers behind the cut, but the spoiler free highlights:

This movie is everything I ever wanted out of a Gundam Seed movie - the characters, the mecha, the OST, the cast, everything. It is as much a continuation of Cosmic Era as it is a celebration of Cosmic Era at its best, there's so much love put into this movie I can genuinely say I enjoyed every minute of it from the beginning to the end. My one and only nitpick is that they recasted Cagalli, but Mori Nanako does a fantastic job, so much so I don't have anything negative to say about her performance. (More on this behind the cut below, as I will delve into spoilers.)

Story pacing was actually really good here, in that there's no true retread/recap of both Seed and Seed Destiny. The movie assumes you've seen both, and while you could arguably get away with a cliff's notes version of Seed Destiny (even I know how much of a Base Breaker it is from watching it as it aired in Japan), if you sat through it you're rewarded between the shout outs and extra emotional impact from some of the scenes. There's a few brief clips of flashbacks to the prior series, but to me they feel like they're providing context (as you don't get to hear the characters' inner thoughts the same way you would out of a manga or a novel of the same story).

The animation just looked so good on the big screen, even the CGI used for the Gundams (like they've been doing in the newer Gundam series) looked fantastic. So smooth, no stock footage, you can tell where they made obvious homage shots to the original, but they're clearly redone for the movie. It was a feast for the eyes, in more ways than one.

The OST is fantastic, the way Sahashi wove the various melodies from songs past and present were a delight to the ears. I particularly love how he kept using various melody lines from Shizuka na Yoru ni as a way to musically reflect Lacus's journey and arc through the movie - just a line or two of the main melody, sometimes shifted into minor key, sometimes intertwined with another character's theme (usually whoever she's interacting with at that moment). There's also some glorious reprisals from both Seed and Seed Destiny, all rearranged to give it a grander, more spectacular sound to match the on-screen spectacle. Definitely one of Sahashi's best works, and I'm really happy they brought him back for it. Also, if at all possible - don't listen to the OST before seeing the movie. It will spoil key moments for the final battle, especially if you know which themes are used where.

Now, onto spoiler territory.

First and foremost, I really feel like Seed Freedom manages to redeem Seed Destiny as a whole. My biggest complaint in Seed Destiny is and always has been that Shinn's redemption happens in 5 minutes in an epilogue that was added on in an extended cut - I loved the idea and potential of Shinn as something of a Villain Protagonist early on, and even as we watched him spiral further and further into his grief and anger throughout Seed Destiny, the fact we never got to see what redemption and atonement meant for him was something of a sore point. One of the things I love is a good redemption arc, where the character learns from mistakes they made and improves themselves as a person, as an individual, and we finally get to see that here in Seed Freedom.

Shinn finally gets to do what he really wanted to when he enrolled into the academy, and under Kira's command he shines. For a character that was so heavily defined by his grief and anger for 50 episodes, he's done a 180 here, putting in the work and effort to turn his life around - we get more scenes of him smiling and eagerly working to help Kira as part of the team in COMPASS than angrily scowling or yelling at someone. He's finally found someone he can look up to and work towards being; it's clear he looks up to Kira as something of a role model, both as a goal and commanding officer, and has been rewarded accordingly as the pilot of the Immortal Justice. He's a lot calmer now, long gone are his days fighting for glory on the battlefield, he puts a priority on COMPASS's main mission of intervention and protecting civilians (so much so he'll voluntarily use Immortal Justice's shield to protect them over keeping it to defend himself). But it's not to say his past is completely forgotten or even retconned away - he gets called the Freedom Killer multiple times here (largely as a way to get at Kira too) and while Shinn never denies having been that person, his reaction shows he treats it as Old Shame, something he did but is no longer proud of.

And the true pay off to his arc comes in the end, when he gets reunited with the Destiny thanks to Cagalli upgrading it to the Spec II in the final stretch of the movie. He greets it like someone would greet an old friend, proudly and triumphantly launching this time to the fanfare of Seed Destiny's next episode preview bgm - it's hands down Shinn at his most heroic, and it's a moment he's earned. He's finally become the person he wanted to be at the beginning of Seed Destiny, before he let his grief and anger cloud his mind, before he was manipulated by Durandal. And in the end, his journey through the darkness that was his time under Durandal's command become his strength, granting him a spectacular flawless victory over the Black Knights achieved through his own skills - Stella protects him from the Black Knights' Mind Control, and his instinctual berserker Seed Mode keeps them from reading his mind to predict his moves. It's after all the trials and pain he went through that he comes out at his absolute best, and the Seed Freedom version of Shinn is hands down the best version of him.

Character development aside, it's genuinely heartwarming to see a character that was so narrowly defined by his grief and anger to be the one who brings a lot of the light and levity in what's otherwise a fairly heavy movie. Seeing him as a Big Eater during the ball at Foundation, his entire reunion with Lunamaria after she thought he'd been KIA'ed in the joint operation on the Blue Cosmos base, him getting hit by both Kira and Athrun during their brawl (with neither of them noticing ^^;;) - he's come so far since his Seed Destiny days he's (and I can't believe I'm actually saying this) one of the major highlights of the movie. And then there's his smile at the end when Kira finally relies on him and his cheerful response.

And of course, I can't talk about Shinn without mentioning Lunamaria - they've both come a long way from their days at the ZAFT military academy (if you go off the prequel novel Moonlight Valkyrie) and even from their time on board the Minerva. You can tell there's genuine love and affection between them, mutually supporting each other both on and off the battlefield, between them sharing a room onboard the Millennium and the energy transfer moment between the Impulse and Destiny. There's even a clear moment of redemption for Lunamaria's shooting skills when she shoots down a tactical nuke in her Gelgoog. And while she's definitely not one of the main focus characters in the movie, she still gets her moment of triumph, launching in the Impulse once more after Shinn's Destiny. Even though she's relegated to the Designated Chick Fight, it's a moment of personal triumph for her - she's grown as a person since her academy days, her time on the Minerva and with Shinn and Rey has changed her, and she's a better person for it. Even her time pursuing Athrun (even though he doesn't return her affection at all) comes back as a Meaningful Echo in how she ultimately deals with Agnes. Instead of choosing to kill Agnes in her GYAN, Lunamaria does something of a "pay it forward", disabling the GYAN and returning to pick her up from the moon after the fighting is over. Like Shinn, it's clear Lunamaria's in a better place than she was during the finale of Seed Destiny, and she also gets to join in on some of the lighter moments of the movie next to Shinn.

Onto Kira (because I'm saving my favorites for last), who is most definitely the main focus of the movie, along with Lacus and his relationship with her. Is his story arc a rehash of Seed? In many ways yes, and in so many ways, no. On a surface level, sure - we once again have Kira trying to shoulder the entire burden of the team on himself, of trying to do everything without relying on anyone else, of pushing himself to his limits, and as icing on the retread cake, we're even treated to a CV Kuwashima Houko girl (Agnes) trying to get his attention and affections. And that's about where it ends, because Agnes' motivations are vastly different from Flay's, Kira's circumstances this time around are entirely different from when he was in Seed - this is more about Kira realizing he really doesn't have to shoulder everything by himself, that even if Lacus is a non-combatant, she's there to walk next to him side by side, that Lacus's love for him is completely different from Flay's (initial) love for him. For Kira, it's The Power of Love while also echoing Seed's earlier themes of how easy it is to fall into old habits and make the same mistakes again. It's about Kira finally breaking past his remaining trauma with his relationship with Flay - he finally realizes that Lacus wants to be with him for him, that she never expected him to hand her everything she wanted on a silver platter, that she's willing and ready to work and walk with him to their final goal and destination, wherever that may take them. His relationship with Lacus was never a transactional one like it was with Flay - even if Flay genuinely grew to love Kira in the end, her true feelings for him never managed to reach him before she dies. And in the end, once he realizes what he has with Lacus, once he gets a chance to talk to her and clear the air, he's rewarded with a shiny new upgrade to the Strike Freedom, Lacus voluntarily joining him in the battlefield, and of course, that ending on the beach.

As for the whole "Is Kira Yamato a failure because he was a failed Accord or just Orphee insisting that he is superior to even Coordinators as an Accord" debate, ultimately it doesn't matter (at least in terms of Kira's arc - on a meta level, yes I absolutely want to know lol). He's got the one thing Orphee will never have (Lacus's love) and with that behind him he can overcome anything.

Honestly, if this is where we end Kira's story, where he gets to go off into the sunset with Lacus, to live quietly in the middle of nowhere (or even return to Marshall Islands to stay with Reverend Malchio) where he doesn't have to fight anymore, where he can just spend his days with Lacus until there's some world-ending reason to step back into the cockpit, I'm good with that. Kira never wanted to be a mobile suit pilot to begin with, he only ever did it to defend the people he cares about, and if this is where we part ways with him, because in learning to rely on other people, he also realizes he can hand things off to Cagalli, Athrun, and Shinn (and by extension, Lunamaria), I'm good with that. (I'll get to Cagalli and Athrun after Lacus, I want to save my favorites for last lol)

Lacus always came off as a little too perfect, a little too good with her words, and with a Seed Mode that ... didn't activate like your traditional Seed Mode (for one thing, she never gets the Seed burst animation on screen when she goes into it; she almost always monologues her way in). And I have to say it was satisfying to see that crack some more this time around, where her decisions are a bit more questionable, where she's finally having to deal with some of the consequences of her actions (and by extension Kira's as he answers to her and only her within COMPASS). But ultimately in the end, she's still the same Lacus as ever - Silk Hiding (nerves of) Steel, steadfast in her love and support for Kira, something that nothing can change, not even meeting her genetically destined partner in Orphee. And yes, while even she gets in on the action this time, quite literally delivering the Proud Defender to Strike Freedom to upgrade it into the Mighty Strike Freedom, I don't really have much to say about her.

I will say this though (because it gets very indirectly touched on by Athrun) - if Lacus hadn't fallen in love with Kira, and had continued with her engagement to Athrun as set up by their parents, would she have gone with Orphee? Would that alone have changed events enough so that Athrun might've been conveniently KIA'ed so Orphee would've been able to sweep in?

Now, onto my personal favorites (and complete show stealers this time around): Athrun and Cagalli.

Where do I even begin? Athrun being a Big Damn Hero for Kira not once, but twice? Cagalli taking over Lacus's role for being Crazy Prepared, Bearer of (Gundam) Gifts this time around?? The complete insanity that is the Z'Gok hiding the Infinite Justice Type II??? The (remote) Battle Couple fight????

Cagalli's just pure Crazy Prepared this time. She's learned from the painful lessons of the past 4 years, ensuring there's a plan in place to get her people to safety, immediately issuing evacuation orders for the civilians to avoid direct orbital laser bombardment from Requiem. She's made peace with the fact that sometimes, you really do just need to hop into a Gundam to get shit done, so she's seen to it that the Gundams for the top COMPASS pilots are available should they ever need it. She's the one who came up with COMPASS in the first place, providing some much-needed legitimacy for what Kira and Lacus want to do. She's also very clearly been training with Athrun for mobile suit training - where she once Could Not Keep Up, she's able to seamlessly pilot the Infinite Justice Mark II remotely, a less advanced unit than Shura's Shi-ve.A, without Shura ever realizing it was someone else piloting it. She's back as the Goddess of Victory, now older and wiser and all the better for it.

For all that she hardly showed up on screen, her presence was felt everywhere, most especially whenever Athrun's on screen. Really, I wouldn't even be surprised if the next time we see Orb get threatened by Orbital (Laser) Bombardment, she tells her people to get inside to safety before turning on a shield to protect the cities and then taking the field again.

And as for Athrun - it makes sense he didn't join COMPASS, even though the fact he has a custom COMPASS pilot suit and the Immortal Justice was clearly designed with him in mind. He's found his place in Orb, staying by Cagalli's side as her personal knight. He's even got his own custom suit with the Z'Gok-hiding-the-Infinite-Justice-Mark-II - he's got everything he could ask for while still being able to do his part to maintain peace. And in a double redemption moment - Athrun's the first one to throw the punch this time when Kira starts wallowing in his self doubt and lets his insecurities get the better of him, repaying the favor Kira did back in Seed Destiny when he, well, Saviour'ed the Saviour. Athrun's the one to remind Kira that as a close friend of Lacus's that her actions this time don't sound like the Lacus that he knows, and this time (unlike when he did something similar with Shinn) it works and gets Kira back on track. Poor Shinn - he thinks Athrun's about to do the same thing to Kira that Athrun did to him during his time on the Minerva, but while Shinn's not entirely wrong, he's also misreading the room a bit, not realizing this is a "They're really good friends, and sometimes they just gotta throw some punches to work shit out" moment.

Because in overcoming everything that happened in Seed Destiny, Athrun and Cagalli have finally grown into the people they both want to be. They've found their way, fighting for what they both believe in. Their time apart in Seed Destiny forced them both grow as individuals, so that when we get to see them working together again it's in perfect sync. In so many ways, Athrun and Cagalli (and not Kira and Lacus) are the ideal the Cosmic Era wants to push - two people working together side by side, regardless of genetics, as partners and equals. The dream of Coordinators and Naturals, living and working side by side in harmony - that's them. And ultimately, it is what they do that brings the heroes victory and lets everyone fly off into the (metaphorical) sunset together. They played the long gambit - creating COMPASS (giving Shinn and Lunamaria a means to atone for the things they did, giving Lacus and Kira a legitimate way to stop skirmishes), upgrading the Gundams, being there for their friends and allies when they needed it (Athrun literally knocking sense back into Kira, Cagalli coming in with the equipment upgrades) - all while keeping their priorities in order (first the civilians, then reequipping allies, and then finally going into combat together to take down Shura), and it all pays off in the end.

Really, is it any wonder, then, when Shura tries to read Athrun's mind in the final battle he's just thinking of hot (naked) Cagalli?

[hydrajones]

As promised to no one but myself, here's a quick rundown of my mom's epic Utena theories/reactions as of the end of the Student Council Saga (and ep 13 b/c recap)

-I don't remember anything specific for the first 3 episodes, other than general anger at Saionji and deciding Nanami was a brat. My bad-

-*at start of show* "Okay, mom, pay attention to the opening since it has clues" "Okay!" *episode 4* "Wait, is that the bratty sister in the opening?" "...you just noticed that?" "Oh hush, you know I never pay attention to openings"

-I don't remember exactly what she said, but she quickly realized that Miki REALLY wants to get reconnected with his sister and his 1st crush is getting all mixed in it

-also she officially finds Nanami funny, says she "acts more like a 10 year old" then a 12 year old

-spent the entire Tsuwabuki into episode absolutely funny/shocking. Spent the whole time laughing and gasping

-figures out the lesbian Juri plot twist immediately

-also spent the entire curry episode laughing and lightly concerned over how determind the elephants were

-*about Touga* "He is so not her prince!" <- repeated with more frustration everytime Utena thinks that

-*in episode 9* "I almost feel bad for Saionji..." *he slaps Anthy again* "Nevermind"

-"Well, the girl is Utena but Touga isn't the prince from the opening..?" "Yeah, Saionji just doesn't know about that, and the show is trying to confuse us" "I knew it!"

-*episode 10* "Did... did she kill the cat?" "Yeah" "...WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER?!?" "Lots of things"

-*after episode 11* "Just because Anthy HAD to agree with everything Utena said doesn't mean she would have disagreed with her. While Anthy is never truely herself, I think she could be as close to "herself" as possible when she was with Utena, even if she didn't mean to"

-*episode 12 opening sequence* "Okay, so that's Utena's real prince opening his eyes. He's connected to the weird upside down castle and Anthy somehow. The whole "crack the world's shell" thing is probably actually about waking him up, but does the student council know that?" "...maybe!" "You've seen this twice" "I'm trying not to spoil anything!"

-Spent all of episode 12 agreeing with Wakaba

-*when Juri gives Utena the sword* "oh I know her! She's the girl duelist who was in love with the girl" "Yep, and they had that whole love triangle" "Which could have been solved if she just communicated with her crush" "none of the characters communicate" "I KNOW! It's very frustrating!"

-"Just because Touga has the sword of Dios doesn't mean he has Dio's power. Dio's might just give his power to Utena anyways" *later in the duel* "called it! Also is he like... a ghost??"

-"Okay mom, this is the recap episode, but it does have important lore" *after the first flashback* "I think this might be a recap!" (teasing me)

-"So I was right about the prince needing to be reawakened, but they aren't explaing anything else. Also who's the suspicious man talking to him?"

-*in the next episode preview* "...Why does Anthy's brother have the same silhouette as the suspicious man??"

Overall, she's getting the main duelist down pretty good. She's still the most confused about Nanami and Touga. She's technically right about her "Dios" theories, but also technically wrong because AKIO. Also completely unaware of the Anthy twist, but having pretty good opinions about her so far.

Please note she does not know anyone's names besides Anthy and Utena. I paraphrased so it would be easy to tell what she's talking about. She consistantly refers to chacers as "(personality trait/design characteristic) (gender)" (ie. "Bratty sister" or "green hair boy").

We did get to episode 14, but imma put all that into a different post. Hopefully I'll remember to update my drafts every week next time so I don't forget as much!

[damnslippyplanet]

Slippy Rewatches: ATOTS, Episode 2

Next up for Friend Who Needs Recaps Right Now: ATOTS, Episode 2.

This is going to be extra-funny because I haven’t watched this show in about two years so I barely remember the set-up.  But ALSO, this was my first Thai BL, so I had no idea how many tropes I was swimming in, which ought to make this really fun to come back to.

What I remember of ep 1 is basically: Tian, The Most Beautiful Boy In The World, is a spoiled rich brat with heart problems who gets into a car accident and has a heart transplant.  But I don’t know where we left off. The “previously on” reminds me that the person he got the heart from was a volunteer teacher in a rural area of Thailand, and Tian decides he needs to go find and teach this volunteer teacher’s class to fulfill her wishes.  And there he met Chief Phupha, our tsundere, bless him, and they stared at each other weirdly for a while.

AND NOW, episode 2:

We’re flashing back to how Tian got to be a teacher, i guess!  He shows up at the foundation that sponsors the teachers, with Teacher Torfun’s lanyard in his hand.  I am immediately losing my shit because I’m so much more immersed in the Thai BL cinematic universe than I was when I watched this, and have just realized that Torfun is Pearmai from “Be My Favorite”, and the head of the foundation plays dads in like three other shows I’ve watched.  Oh, man.  This is going to be an EXPERIENCE.

Tian rolls up with his application which reads "Hello, I would like to be a teacher in this specific rural village, my qualifications are that I am very pretty."

Foundation Head Guy recognizes his name and says kindly, "hey, rich boy, you are not going to want to live on the salary or in the lifestyle that rural volunteer teachers get, please go home and roll around on your bed of money or at least let us send you somewhere with running water. Don't be the jerk rich kid who burns our foundation's money and goodwill on going off to teach, fucking around with the lives of the local population, and coming home again a week later."

Tian: "Yes but have you SEEN how pretty I am?  Also I am being really earnest about this."

Foundation Guy asks Tian what the most difficult thing in his life is, and before he can say, "I maybe killed someone and took her heart and it might have made me gay if I wasn’t already?” we smash cut into the credits.  I forgot how cute these credits were!  Fuck, I’m gonna end up rewatching this whole show

*******************

And now we’re back to the village, where Tian is trying and failing to get a signal on his cell phone.  He gives up and gathers his towel to go explore his bathing situation, only to basically trip over the Chief perched outside his little cottage waiting to take him to the school.

Tian would like to take a bath, and Chief does a life-ruining little smirk and leads him away down the path. Tian brushes his teeth along the way to what he thinks is going to be his bath, and that's how he ends up at his new school, with a bath towel slung over his shoulder, still brushing his teeth, to meet his assorted youths.

The youths are five adorable moppets.  Four of them are full of questions and one of them is asleep.  (One of them is also wearing a shirt that says "Snatch: The Best Thing On Earth".) Tian hits up Ranger Yod to find out what the schedule is and if there's a lesson plan.  Yod nominally thinks there should be lessons in the morning and play in the afternoon, but also thinks that it's Tian's first day so if he wants to just send everyone home now that's fine.  Yod would be the teacher who shows movies all year long with only vague relation to the curriculum.

Tian makes a vague effort to start an animal-guessing game but Ayi, the kids' ringleader, apparently just leaves school when he's bored, and now he is bored  So he gets up and leaves, with all the other kids following him.  Which means that when Chief shows up again the schoolroom is just Tian, sulking because he hasn't had a bath and the kids have better things to do than play with him.

Chief glowers a little but actually takes pity on Tian and agrees to show him what his new bathing situation is going to be like.

Oh.  Oh, man.  I think we’re about to get to something I remember very fondly.  Let’s GO.

****************

Okay, so Chief leads Tian and his bath towel off to a waterfall-and-stream situation.  Very picturesque.

Tian: So we don’t have bathtubs here?

Chief: Look, city boy, I can drive you to the city if you can’t hack bathing like a villager.

Tian: I’m fine, go away.

Chief: Conveniently, the other side of this river is a dangerous border where skirmishes happen so I am duty-bound to stand here and watch you bathe.  In case ruffians try to kidnap you.  While you’re naked.

Tian: FINE but can you turn AROUND while I wade into the water fully clothed?

Chief: FINE

Chief: immediately starts peeking at Tian and his wet clinging shirt situation as he wades into the quiet of the stream. It’s CUTE.

Chief turns away for a minute to get a product-placement drink and when he turns back, Tian is MISSING.  Because he is HIDING because he is a BRAT.  The upshot of this is that Chief leaps in to save him and ends up shirtless and wet and cranky about how into brat-taming he is.

And this?  This moment here?  This was when I simultaneously met Earth Pirapat’s tattoos, and Thai BL’s love of lingering product-placement shots where beautiful shirtless men suck down cool beverages in loving close-up while we watch their throats bob.  This moment changed my life, I think. JFC. Who allowed it.

This moment is also changing Tian’s life, he is doing the MOST minx-y little lowered-eyelashes side-eye at Chief’s nipples.

********************************

Presumably he did not immediately blow the Chief, but we will never know because we cut back to them arriving back at Tian’s cottage, where Yod has brought lunch.  Yod is like, funny that you went swimming, when you have your own little outhouse and bathing situation out back, I just asked the villagers to bring you a full water jar and everything so you can bucket-bathe yourself!

Tian: Oh my god I hate the Chief. 

Chief: gives Tian the WORST little smirk.

Oh my god, I forgot what a little shit he secretly is. 

Tian goes in and changes and we get a look at his gnarly chest scar while he stares pensively in the mirror for a while and, oh, THAT’S why he went into the stream fully clothed, I forgot he’s hiding his cardiac patient situation.  What a terrible idea, Tian.  TELL SOMEONE.

********************

It’s time to meet the village chief!  His name is Khama or maybe his title is Khama? Anyway, he’s nice to Tian but also wonders why Torfun didn’t come back?

Chief: Torfun’s…um.  Busy?  Definitely not dead.  Ha ha ha.

Tian, side-eyeing Chief: Yeah, I too know nothing about Torfun’s hypothetical death. 

Khama is genial and delightful, and his wife has prepared a huge meal to welcome Tian, including a very special dish of pig brain.  Everyone including Chief is leaning in real close to watch Tian try it. This is clearly a fun thing they do to city people, feeding them spicy pig brain to see if they can be cool or will freak out.

What is this Wang-Yibo-ass facial expression on the Chief?

Tian is like, “awesome, excellent pig brain, thank you!” and then proceeds to have a flashback to his transplant doctor explaining that to avoid rejection of his new heart he should live in hygienic places and not eat spicy or unusual foods, while Khama explains the ten different spicy dishes on the table.

It’s fine, this is fine.  I’m not at all worried about Tian’s heart, as Chief basically eggs him on to prove he can eat spicy food.  Tian, TELL SOMEONE, Chief is a brat too but he wouldn’t try to actually KILL YOU if he knew your whole deal.

Khama also mentions that his song Longtae is about Tian’s age and is studying in the city, but will be back to visit this weekend. Tian wants to see the cliff nearby for no particular reason (it’s because he read about it in Torfun’s journal) and Khama is like, yeah, my son can be your tour guide!  But if you want to go before then, take Chief, because it’s too dangerous to go alone.

Tian says he wouldn’t want to bother such a busy and important guy, and Tian and Chief hate-fuck each other with their eyes for a while.  Khama eats more spicy pork.  He’s having such a good time, I love him.  

*********************

Later at night, Chief walks Tian home and discovers that the city boy doesn’t know about mosquito netting and got fully destroyed by mosquitos.  So now it’s time for a Sexy Mosquito Netting scene where Chief fully kabedons Tian to show him how to put up the netting.  Love it, zero notes.

And then, because we are still in the pulling-each-other’s-pigtails stage of this relationship, Chief takes the whole thing down, tells Tian to do it himself to get practice, warns him about ghosts, and fucks off back to his base.  Tian gets the net up, but then he has to go use the outhouse while he’s terrified of ghosts, poor city boy.

Meanwhile back at the base, Chief has pulled out a wooden flute, had a flashback to Torfun giving it to him, and now he is staring mournfully into the fire while tootling a tune on the flute.  My recollection is that when I first watched this with friend Hoyden, I started howling because I was having a full Lan Xichen flashback, but she had not yet watched The Untamed and just thought I had completely lost my mind.

Anyway: Chief’s having a real Moment here.

***********************

The next morning Yod picks Tian up to take him to class - apparently that’s usually his job, Chief just did it yesterday as a special First Day of School thing.  They detour through the fields and learn that the village’s chief economic engines are growing tea and sewing.  Tian asks him about the cliff too because he is just going to be Extremely Normal about the cliff, and Yod is like, yeah, it’s over there, but if you take the wrong turn you end up in Ghost Hill. Also very normal.  If you end up in Ghost Hill without doing the right rituals, the ghosts kill you.  So again the takeaway is: please wait for an escort to the cliff.

And now we meet another ranger, Rang, who’s happy to do some introductions and some gossip.  Apparently Yod and Rang both know that Torfun died, but Chief told them not to tell the villagers.  They are standing a few feet away from the villagers during this conversation.�� The rangers are not stealthy.

Then we go to school, where Tian is finding out the kids are more advanced than he expected - he was going to teach them letters, but Torfun already taught them letters. And numbers. The kids are bored as shit.

Tian, desperate: Hey, okay, but did Torfun ever take you on a FIELD TRIP? To the WATERFALL that’s like TWO MINUTES FROM A DANGEROUS BORDER?

Rang and Yod know this is a terrible idea and Rang peaces the fuck out to go find Chief and let him know Tian is going rogue.

***********

Chief is off in the city meanwhile, meeting with his doctor who is also his friend.  Did we meet this character in episode 1 or is this the first time we meet him?  I remember liking this character, I think. 

Doctor Friend: Hey so I heard your new teacher is a hot twink and you’ve been paying him a lot of attention.

Chief: LOOK he is a MENACE and I am DOING MY JOB.

Doctor Friend: Okay SURE.  Now I am going to talk about how Torfun was in love with you, so you can get weird and sad.

Chief: *soulful eyes*

****************

Tian is taking the kids on a nature walk and has finally found something they don’t know - how to name colors in English.  So they’re having a good time learning English words for things, while Yod panics and flails about how Chief is going to murder him for this. 

It’s all sort of nice, until Yod gets called back to base right as the kids are clamoring to be allowed to swim in the river.

Tian: This will be fine.

Yod: Will it?

Tian: Absolutely, go back to base, I got this.

Tian does not got this.  Everyone splashes around and has fun for a while and then OOPS one of the kids (Kalae) is drowning.  Which, let us note, Tian fails to even notice until one of the other kids is like, hey, is that, uh, is that what’s supposed to be happening?

Tian pulls Kalae out of the water and is just starting to try to figure out how to revive him when Chief and Yod arrive with Doctor Friend.  Kalae is quickly saved and hustled off to the med center to recover.  Doctor Friend pulls Chief off to the side to be like, okay, kid’s saved, now go tend to the twink teacher, he looked absolutely devastated.

Chief: Well maybe he shouldn’t have LET A CHILD DROWN.

Doctor Friend: You have a point, but he’s a brand-new teacher and he’s trying, please don’t actually murder him.

So Chief storms off to Tian’s place to yell at him about how he can’t just show up and be careless with these children’s lives and education as some sort of holiday from his life.  He’s right, and Tian knows it, and Tian heads inside and starts to pack to leave.

But Doctor Friend may have done some good work here, because Chief rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath and is like, okay, but actually don’t be a huge baby and walk out on them either.  

Tian reaches out to pack Torfun’s lanyard and now we’re back to the flashback at the beginning, where he was asked what his most difficult experience was.  Apparently his answer was “I almost died, but now I have a second chance and I want to use it to do something for others.”

Foundation Guy told him to remember the way he feels and come back to it when he’s feeling discouraged by hard experiences.    Which Tian does, and decides that he WILL stay and finish out his term.

Chief has about six face emotion journeys about his complicated feelings about this terrible beautiful twink, and then is like well OKAY then.  But please stop DROWNING CHILDREN.  And then they stare at each other intensely for a while as we go to credits.

And then post-credit scene!

We’re back to Tian and Chief walking home after the visit to Khama, and Chief pulls a huge bag of instant noodles out of his rucksack so Tian won’t actually starve.

Chief: You know how to make a fire and boil water, right?

Tian: …….

So then Chief makes some noodles for Tian, who pretends he’s not hungry, but then eats them anyway, and Chief makes the satisfied eyes of someone whose caretaking kink has just been activated.  And then scolds him into saying thank you properly to an older man who has done something nice for him and, woof, yeah, there are some cultural/language layers there I didn’t get at first watch.

And then they just stare at each other for a while in beautiful flickering firelight, and yeah.  Fuck.  I have to rewatch the rest of this show now. Fuck.

this way to: episode 3 recap

[canisbaileyilupus]

I've had a lot going on, time to recap. Can't seem to do a read more on mobile for some reason.

My mom's friend is mentally ill and has been floating around with meds for a couple years and hasn't been consistent in taking them properly. She's also a recovering alcoholic and relapses often.

My mom has been friends with her for 30 years and I am forced to live with my mom bc I can't live alone (rent is awful). Now, mom decides on her own to let her live with us. I disagree but she never asked me. So, in August (I think?) She moves in. She's been told it's not permanent and she'd have to get back on her feet since she was escaping an abusive relationship. Not my problem, I didn't have a choice. So, she's been told the rules, no smoking inside, clean up after yourself, no drugs or alcohol, take her meds on time, etc. This also included buying her own food and paying rent. Mom then goes back on that, saying she can buy her own food but also share ours. That wasn't in the agreement, but I can't fight her on it. Now, food and bills go up. It's costing me more to feed this 55 year old spoiled brat than to put gas in the car.

Since being diagnosed with autism, she's ignored my "I can't handle loud voices and sounds" and the rules of "be quiet or people will report us." She uses her vape pen inside (yes that's included in the smoking rule) and she's relapsed twice since being here (alcohol). She waits until the last minute to make phone calls to therapists, doctors, and housing office to find a place to live. When she doesn't get the therapy she wants she throws a fit.

Now, it's months later, and we got our very first lease violation. The apartment complex office is aware we have someone living here that's not on the lease. And she's been warned on her voice (blames BPD) so much it's annoying and that's also a lease violation.

I am in fear of being evicted. This is our only warning. The next time they send our a lease violation email, they will file eviction papers and we will end up with 30 days to leave.

This is what I've been dealing with for months. I'm so fucking tired.

And there's a lot of small things that bother me too, really gross stuff. She shits and pees herself and refuses to wear diapers. She has done so much laundry it's scary. If we paid for water, we would be unable to live here. She uses a full roll of toilet paper a day to wipe her ass and absolutely explodes the toilet. She leaves her hair everywhere. She never put her shit away either, everything is everywhere. Every room she goes in it's like a tornado. She also doesn't clean her dishes, leaves coffee grounds everywhere and doesn't understand that the water bottles are for my mom and I bc we can't drink the tap water. She's also said I'm rude bc I don't want to have a conversation. I'm not someone who talks a lot, everyone knows this about me. If I wanna talk, I'll talk. If not, I don't participate in conversation.

Let's put this last bit out here for you guys. She is spoiled. She has gotten everything she's ever wanted to a point where if she wanted money, all she has to do is cry to the right people, annoy her mother long enough, abuse her power over a partner to a point they give her money. Even now, she's 55 and her mom is dealing with her father who has dementia. She still calls her crying and to shut her up her mom throws money at her. She's had a maid pretty much her whole life and has never had to struggle financially. Now that she is poor, she doesn't want to give up her spending habits and everytime she has a little money she'll buy shit she doesn't need, including furniture she can't put anywhere for an apartment she doesn't have.

I'll be adding photos when I get a moment as well. Some photos will include a toilet bowl but only if people wanna see it.

[couldbebetterforsure]

Hi, it's fun to read your passionate recaps of your Jack Jeanne playthrough of Suzu's route. I can't wait to read more when you're finally get to the other guys (and some other supporting characters' stories along the way). It's so nice to see more JJ fans on here (or anywhere really). This game deserves more hype. Do you follow a walkthrough or playing it blind? I want to give a "soft" recommend of Suzu -> Sou -> Mitsuki -> Fumi -> Kai -> Neji -> Kisa even if you're doing it blind. After having played all routes, that is the best built up IMO. And FYI, if you want to get more official merchs, there are also an OST and a vinyl set. Anyway, thanks for the nice recaps and can't wait for the other routes. 😊 Have a nice day or night wherever you are.

Awww, Anon!!!! Thank you so much for the sweet words! I’m glad there are people who liked my rambles! And yeah, so far in terms of official merch I bought the vocal collection, the shuffle album, the art book, and two light novels. It was pricey but I wanted to support the game! I considered getting the official ost as well but I figured I’ve already pushed my bank account far enough with just this much 😂

I’m using a walkthrough, but it doesn’t give details so I’m never spoiled for the story (heck there are certain choices where the context was different than what I expected when I saw it in the walkthrough). I think the route order you recommended is that same order the guide I’m using suggests so that’s the order I’ll play it in! Like I said before I’m focusing on Radiant Tale now (well actually first that suzukisa fic and THEN Radiant Tale). I wanna get my man Vilio but his route is locked until the end so I’m focusing on that before I continue Jack Jeanne. I probably won’t go as crazy with posts as I did with Suzu’s route, more likely I’ll post general end of route thoughts or if something happens that I HAVE to talk about right away I’ll post it then.

But Jack Jeanne was sooooooo good!!!! It deserves way more hype and I hope more people enjoy it! Also I may only have played the one route so far but I would love to see a sequel someday!!!! If not that, a fan disk maybe?

[fencer-x]

I posted 707 times in 2022

That's 71 more posts than 2021!

258 posts created (36%)

449 posts reblogged (64%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nimbus-cloud

@fencer-x

@shigacajun

@shameless-fujoshi

@lettersbyelise

I tagged 389 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#spoilers - 158 posts

#free! - 146 posts

#free! the final stroke - 107 posts

#sharkbait - 60 posts

#interview with the vampire - 37 posts

#harurin - 32 posts

#rinharu - 32 posts

#sasaki to miyano - 28 posts

#sasaki and miyano - 27 posts

#our flag means death - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#was remembering this in contrast to rin's 'i want you to swim for me' early in s01 and makoto's 'i want you to swim for yourself' in fs02

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

nbd just Haru smiling as Rin catches him when he faints, just before losing consciousness.

nbd nbd nbd nbd nbd nbd N B D

286 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

#4

Sasaki to Miyano, ending theme w/subs (from September Subs’ subtitles)

297 notes - Posted January 10, 2022

#3

FENCER'S HUGE-ASS SPOILER-LADEN DAY 1 REVIEW OF FREE! THE FINAL STROKE PART 2 or How KyoAni Said, "You WILL experience 10 years' worth of emotions in 2 hours and you'll like it!!"

Let's cut to the chase. You know why you're here. I know why you're here. So I won't make you wait any longer. You wanna know every gory detail from this glorious sobfest of a movie? THEN GET THEE BEHIND A CUT!

(warning that this is probably only mildly coherent and has a HEAVY HARURIN BEND. Mostly because THE MOVIE HAS A HEAVY HARURIN BEND. Sorry I don't make the rules I just report on how much boys stay winning)

Now, I was so scared of this movie.

I have a thing, see. If a series ends, and it doesn't end EXACTLY the way I wanted it to? If it does something that I think is a sour note to end on, or even if it just makes some narrative decisions I disagree with?

I can't watch it anymore. I can't read it anymore. Everything I used to love about it turns sour to me and I can't enjoy it. It happened with Haikyuu, it happened with Evangelion. It's happened with dozens of series over the years. A series is pretty much never going to end the way I want it to, and in my case, for whatever reason, that means I can't enjoy it AT ALL anymore. I can't just imagine what happened DIDN'T happen. It's there. I can't forget it, and it ruins the story.

So I was scared of this movie. Because it was the end. Decisions would be made about characters' futures, and I probably wouldn't agree with them. Might even hate them. I was of course under no delusion that there would be any SHIPS confirmed--so that wasn't something I was worried about or excited about--but everything else. Everything else was something real and final that would be canon now.

I went anyway, though, knowing I'd never forgive myself if I just let someone else spoil me. I fought the knot in my stomach, settled in, and watched.

And I cried. Oh boy did I cry. There was definitely a moment there where I knew oh this is it, this was going to be what made me never able to watch this series again. It wasn't disappointment--it wasn't anger--it was just...sadness. A deep well of sadness.

But then they fixed it. And I won't bore you with those out-of-context details now. I'll just say read on, and you'll understand.

And then you'll start to see how amazing it was.

Movie opens with a semi-recap. Not a recap in so many words, but characters remembering things and flashing back to those scenes in the previous movie. No biggie.

Except. Except then KyoAni said, "Hi we're here to kick you in the stomach so settle in for two hours of emotional trauma :)))))" and RIPS INTO AN ACOUSTIC DRIED UP YOUTHFUL FAME. OH YEAH, THEY WERE IN. THIS. BITCH.

"But wait, flashbacks to previous scenes from the last movie? You mean we have to live through That Fight all over again?"

Oh, no don't worry. You don't have to live through it again as it happened.

You have to see how Haru imagined it going and then see his heartbreak when he realizes it didn't happen that way.

You have to hear him tell Rin, beaming and whole-heartedly committed, "Rin, I want to swim in the lane next to you in our next tournament. I want to keep walking forward with you."

Yes, he was explicit in that he wanted to go there with Rin. He wanted his future to be, explicitly, swimming alongside Rin. Competing alongside Rin. Forever.

But then, of course, that's not how it happened.

A lot of this movie takes place in imaginary sequences, dreams and nightmares and memories that never happened. It's very cool, but also a little weird XD So, par for the course for Free! For example, early on as Haru is reliving his fight with Rin, we see lots of flashbacks to them as kids, but viewed in a movie theater (whoa trippy) with baby Makoto and baby Nagisa giving commentary. Scenes of young Haru and Rin fighting morph into them as Power Ranger standins (blue and red ofc), fighting but then deciding to work together, their union being stronger than either of them alone.

Haru has nightmares that play out over and over and over--most of the time of Rin leaving him…but occasionally of him leaving Rin, of him pushing Rin away and avoiding him for so long, refusing to swim with him. Haru resents Rin for his decision to 'leave' him, but he also recognizes that it's his own selfishness and stubbornness that has hurt Rin too.

Elsewhere, the coaches discuss their students. Mikhail remarks that Rin was crying.

Part 2 is set one year after Part 1, for context--and in that time, Nagisa and Rei and Nitori have all graduated…and moved to Tokyo! Rei and Nitori have joined the swim team at Ikuya and Hiyori's school, while Nagisa has joined Kinjou's school's team. The gang's all back together again!

Haru has been training HARD this whole time…to the point that he's hurting himself. He's working himself to exhaustion, and after nearly fainting after one training session, Azuma makes him take a break to rest, warning him that he's trying to do the equivalent of strapping a huge engine into a tiny car--it's going to destroy the car eventually.

Makoto hears about Haru being made to rest because he'd worked himself to exhaustion and immediately tells Rin…who absolutely wants to MURDER Azuma. Makoto has to almost physically restrain him, begging him not to do anything rash when Rin confronts Azuma in a rage over the state he feels he's brought Haru to. Azuma snaps back, "If something's really that important to you, then you shouldn't have let it go in the first place!" Makoto and Rin split up, looking for Haru, who's nowhere to be found.

Rin runs himself ragged searching all over the city, regretting how selfish he'd been. Muttering, "I'm so lame…" he collapses on a sidewalk and rolls over…and sees a beautiful glimmering sakura tree towering over him, lit up in the night. He squints at its brilliance--and just beyond it, standing atop a building, he finally spots Haru.

Rin calls Makoto and tells him he's found Haru, and they meet up at the top of the building, where there's a night pool you can swim in. Haru is floating aimlessly on his back in the pool alone. Makoto moves to go to him--but Rin holds out a hand to stop him. Then Rin jumps in the pool and approaches Haru.

Apologies are made, challenges are issued. "You have a duty to race me," Rin says, harkening back to their first real clash when they reunited in Season 1.

They race. Rin keeps glancing over, watching Haru, as they push each other further and further.

They reach the finish, both panting, and in Haru's mind he sees himself standing once more at that railroad crossing. Rin is there, on the other side. And this time, the crossing guard lifts and Rin rushes toward him.

See the full post

315 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#2

"So when I first read the script, I was kind of taken aback by the way that Rin got dragged down whenever Haruka did, getting in a total funk. But Haruka and Rin share a common destiny, right? So when one stumbles, the other does too. I was both moved and excited by their exchange in the night pool."

- Miyano Mamoru, at the May 1, 2022, stage greetings (x)

331 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Sasaki and Miyano, vol. 8, ch. 42

422 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[theuniversitychallengereview]

Paint Me Like One of Your JSO Walls

If you don't subscribe to my Patreon series of Retro Reviews (which you very probably don't, if we're being honest), then you will be unaware that I have recently moved to a small village in the Scottish Highlands.

When we moved in the decor was so grey that Anastasia Steele would have thought it a bit much and it was priority number one to splash some colour around. Two and a half months later we have finally gotten around to priority number one, and have painted a single wall in the living room orange.

Only when we had finished applying the second coat did we realise the shade bears a striking resemblance to the kind Just Stop Oil chuck over old paintings. So our lounge is now a protest against inaction on the subject of climate change, which I'm not all that mad about.

While we'd been waiting for the second coat to dry we borrowed our neighbour's little garden trolley and went to collect some old pallets from the industrial site (this is the kind of shit you get up to when you move to a small village in the Scottish Highlands and don't have a car).

The only problem was that the trolley was completely busted.

It worked when there was no weight on it, but the presence of four pallets (we should have started with one and worked our way up, but it would have gone wrong either way), caused one of the wheels to fall off, and for two of the other wheels to reveal themselves as being hopelessly flat.

So we had to haul the pallets back by hand, which is a surprisingly tough workout for the forearms.

The unknowable nature of the self

This introduction was originally going to be about identity, and how you can find the meaning in anything by aligning it with the values of the person you want to be.

If, for example, you want to be a quizzer, whose identity is curious with a desire to know things and understand the world, then you may well gain meaning and purpose and satisfaction from learning lists of facts, which might otherwise appear boring.

But I've been distracted all day by paint so I've been forced to write about that. My identity is orange paint and pallets - there is no room for complex discussions about the nature of what it means to be human.

For the moment though, I'll have to clear it, because I have a quiz show to write about, and write about it I must.

UCL vs Open - 1st Round Match 2

UCL lost out to Imperial in this year's final, which was the first ever London on London showpiece. It was the third time they'd been runners-up in the BBC era, having lost to Corpus Christi, Ox in 2005, and Manchester in 2005.

Open, meanwhile, have two series titles to their name, one either side of the Bamber-Paxman gap. Their victory in 1999 was spoiled by The Observer, who released an article with the headline 'Open minds thrash Oxford's brightest' the day before the episode aired.

This blog post by one of the Open team is delightful and discusses the scenario at length. She wrote to the editor of the Observer and got this response.

I am so sorry about spoiling the final of University Challenge. I thought it was a good story and couldn't resist running it, but vastly underestimated the number of readers who follow the quiz and were outraged at learning the score. It makes matters worse that you, a member of the winning team, managed to keep quiet about it, but thank you for complaining in the charming way you did. With hindsight I realise the story should have carried a health warning alerting University Challenge fans of its contents, but instead I can only apologise again. I am an idiot!! Yours in sackcloth and ashes, Roger Alton Editor

If such a blunder caused this much havoc in 1999, imagine how much it would cause now.

Open and UCL are the country's two biggest Universities, although the Open University has around 90,000 more students.

Here's your first starter for ten

My girlfriend said that last weeks recap of the episode was "less boring than usual", so I'm going to try and replicate that here.

UCL's Mandel kicks things off with George Orwell, recognising him as the writer of the essay 'Why I Write'. They take a couple of bonuses on Japanese cuisine, before Maving lands Interpol to open Open's account.

A single bonus on the Mount of Olives follows, with one of those they miss relating to the ascension of Jesus, which they don't know because typical secular understanding of the Bible ends at the resurrection. Like, we all know about the crucifixion and resurrection, but what comes next is completely missed out of a non-religious teaching of Jesus' story. We all sort of know that he ascends to heaven at some point, but what does he get up to in the five weeks or so after the resurrection?

Payne recognises Graz for the first picture starter, and Open extended their lead to 35 points, before Mandel's second 10-pointer brought UCL back into the fold.

Jack, having plucked sphagnum from the peat bog of his memory on an earlier bonus, takes his first starter with Stephen King, keeping UCL rolling.

Maving takes Open into triple figures with the music starter, recognising Run DMC within a few seconds, much to Rajan's delight. Westermann cleans up on the bonuses, delivering Salt-n-Pepa with particular flair.

I had that typed as Salt-n-Peppa before I googled to check the spelling, which would of course be an excellent name for a Peppa Pig themed hip-hop tribute act. I'm sure I could get an AI image generator to produce something on that theme, but I haven't reached the bottom of the barrel quite yet (still plenty of time though).

Cultural Relativism, courtesy of Prabhakar, keeps UCL within touching distance, but Maving doesn't like that and pushes Open further clear once again. Westermann is rightly keen to get input from all team members on the bonuses, and her blue hair flicks with panache as she swings her head from side to side.

nothing has brought me more joy this episode than Westermann's bob flipping about as she looks around at her team. A complete slay. #UniversityChallenge pic.twitter.com/QT1jv9pOc6— Ariadne Griffin 🦋 (@Ariadne_Reviews) August 19, 2024

Her opposite number Holtermann Entwhistle also has a bob, and this also dances, but with slightly less bounciness.

Payne spots Puskas for the second picture starter, and he cleans up the bonuses with Lev Yashin, Socrates and Gerd Muller. I really should have said that they took a hat-trick there, shouldn't I? What a missed opportunity.

A brilliant buzz of Sinead O'Connor from Mandel keeps UCL in it, but they guess the wrong Jane Austen novel on each of the bonuses.

The Butterfly Effect

They are 45 points down with three minutes to go, but another from Mandel slashes the deficit. A perfect set reduces it to 20, and a potentially controversial guess of butterfly made it 10.

Mandel, confident in the midst of a hot streak, buzzed early on the next starter, but shook his head immediately, prompting a stern rebuke from Rajan that he needed to answer as soon as he buzzes. Only before Rajan could finish telling him off he had said butterfly, so Rajan let him off.

Rajan was right to start telling him off - it was close to the end of the game and he was trying to be fair to Open. But Mandel also managed to get his answer out in a timely manner, so all was good on both sides.

They could only manage a single bonus though, leaving them 5-points adrift with one question to go.

On flags.

Whoever got this would win.

A nerveless buzz of South Africa secured a place in the second round...

For Payne and Open.

Open 190 - 175 UCL

Another awesome match, with a thrilling finish. Kudos to UCL for never giving up the fight, and they will surely be back as a high-scoring loser. Open, meanwhile, can rest easy in the knowledge they have already faced off against and beaten a really strong team, which will give them confidence going into the second round.

Thanks for reading, and join me next week for Gonville and Caius vs Bristol.

[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Savers Commentary Episode 46 - Bombshell! The Truth About BanchouLeomon

In this episode, we hear Suguru’s story: how he befriended BanchouLeomon, and how he staked his life to protect humanity from Yggdrasil’s wrath. In the present, Suguru – and Masaru – make a huge sacrifice to try and stop Yggdrasil.

No recap this episode! I guess they’ve got a lot to get through here. Though, again, I am a little sad that we don’t get to hear what the recap narrator makes of last episode’s dad complex extravaganza.

Instead, we open on Mt Fuji, in a scene that happened chronologically a little bit before the end of last episode where BanchouLeomon showed up at Yggdrasil’s tree. Here he’s still holding the worlds apart. Craniummon’s there, along with Chika and Garudamon.

Craniummon:  “I… have always been troubled. I incessantly pondered over whether Yggdrasil’s way of justice was true or not.”

Craniummon has indeed been thinking for himself this whole time beneath the surface! It just took Masaru breaking his shield, apparently, for him to accept that he ought to do that and finally start acting of his own free will.

Craniummon: “But… You must have wanted to tell me such thoughts were wrong, Daimon Suguru.”

I would hope that what he means by this is that Suguru wanted to tell him that there’s no point pondering over it because it should be obvious that Yggdrasil’s way was never “justice”. Otherwise, trying to tell Craniummon that he was wrong to have second thoughts about his god’s orders feels… kinda counter-productive.

Garudamon and Chika stare in surprise upon hearing that this lion man is actually Chika’s dad.

Craniummon: “Your daughter should be able to tell… by looking at this man who loved the Digital World and wished for peace between the Digimon and humans more than anyone else…”

Chika’s staring with this look of sort of shocked longing, as she processes the fact that the father she’s been waiting for for so long is right there in front of her, but sacrificing himself. It is appropriate that Craniummon brings up Suguru wishing for peace between the two worlds, because Chika was the first person other than him to argue that the two species shouldn’t be fighting!

(Question, though – how on earth does Craniummon know that Chika is Suguru’s daughter? As far as he knows, she’s just some random human partnered with some random Digimon who got the wrong end of the stick and tried to fight him. I don’t think there’s any possible way he should be able to know who this is from his position. …But, shush, it took me a very long time to even notice this plot hole, it’s not a huge deal.)

Craniummon punches the solidified Digisoul to shatter it and moves in to catch the falling mountain as BanchouLeomon collapses in exhaustion.

BanchouLeomon: “Craniummon! You… Why?!”

Craniummon:  “I wanted to try believing once more… in the infinite possibilities that humans and Digimon can create together!”

This is very reminiscent of Mercurimon! He’d also forged a bond with Suguru once upon a time, forgot about that bond after the atrocities of the humans (read: Kurata), and then was inspired to try believing in it again thanks to the actions of Masaru and his friends. Seems like Craniummon also believed in Suguru quite strongly once upon a time, and now does again. He called BanchouLeomon his friend last episode, but maybe he was actually referring to Suguru, or, indeed, both of them.

Craniummon tells Suguru to hurry to Yggdrasil, evidently figuring he’ll have more chance of getting through to the god than Craniummon himself would.

And with that, it’s a pretty early opening. I showed this shot once before when this opening first started, just to explain why it had to be held off until so late into the series (spoiling some kind of link between Suguru and BanchouLeomon). Now that we’ve fully uncovered that link and are spending an episode on it, time to talk about this shot in more detail.

Turns out this may not just be showing Suguru and BanchouLeomon. It might be more like Suguru himself (as BanchouLeomon) on the left, and “Suguru”, meaning Yggdrasil in his body, on the right. Then of course there’s Masaru in the middle, caught between these two versions of his dad, not looking in the greatest mood about it, with his pendant rotating around behind him. It’s a great shot. My one nitpick about it is that it does not accompany either of the “I believed in it! It’s my soul” lines in the song that are obviously also about Masaru’s dad complex, which, like, why would you not take that opportunity, opening animators, come on.

Anyway, back to Yggdrasil’s tree, where we left off at the end of last episode as BanchouLeomon – or rather, Suguru – just dropped the bombshell on Masaru.

Masaru:  “Don’t give me that crap! Who the hell will believe that?!”

Masaru, despite having been given a much better answer for his dad’s identity than that he’s a genocidal god, is still being the most straightforward about it. No, BanchouLeomon doesn’t look like his dad, so obviously he can’t be his dad, what kind of nonsense would that be?!

BanchouLeomon: “When you were a little boy, you fell off the monkey bars and hit your head.”

Remember how Masaru mentioned this incident in episode 20, in order to argue that he could remember something that happened to him ten years ago? Yep, it’s because his dad was involved all right.

Masaru puts a hand to his head where his scar must be, almost defensively, upon hearing this, like he’s hurt and shocked to realise that this banchou lion Digimon he only met recently somehow knows about a memory so personal and important to him.

Masaru:  “How do you know…?”

BanchouLeomon: “Have you forgotten? I was the one who carried you all the way to the hospital.”

Of course Masaru hasn’t forgotten that. He continues to stare at BanchouLeomon, realising that the only way he could know that is if this really is his dad. He flashes back to himself as a little kid, whimpering from the pain of his head injury, as his dad carries him along. No wonder that memory stuck with Masaru; he was hurting and vulnerable, but his dad was there, big and warm and strong, protecting him and keeping him safe. And…

Suguru:  “It’s all right! It’s not a deep cut! If you’re a man, then bear with it!”

Little Masaru looks up at his dad in surprise at these words, and then continues grimacing, with just slightly less whimpering. He wants to make his dad proud and be a Man, so badly, so he’s going to try his absolute best.

“If you’re a man, then bear with it.” Masaru remembered those words of his dad – probably one of the few things he remembers about the concept of manliness that’s actually from his dad and not just made up from what he thinks his dad might say. He must have clung to that like nothing else, once his dad disappeared and he had to deal with the pain and grief of his absence. He might not have known how to cope at first, but one way or another, he had to bear with it, by becoming the Masaru we know and love today. This is a very important line.

(And, okay, it might be just little bit toxic masculinity. But I like to think Suguru didn’t quite mean it that way – that it’s not that men shouldn’t show or feel pain at all, but that they should bear with the pain. It doesn’t seem like Masaru internalised it in as toxic a way as he could have done, either, because he’s not completely averse to showing weakness or pain, and he doesn’t ever seem to think that doing so makes him less of a Man. But this probably does have a lot to do with Masaru’s stubbornly optimistic defence mechanism of never properly acknowledging the possibility of bad things ever.)

Masaru:  “You’re lying… That can’t…”

Masaru still isn’t quite able to accept it, despite having been given proof, and still despite how this is so much better than the alternative! I guess his straightforwardness is still in play, or perhaps it’s the shock of having had such a deeply personal dad-related memory brought up by someone his mind is still instinctively registering in the Not His Dad category. Perhaps he’s just having trouble reconciling every encounter he’s had with BanchouLeomon up until now with the fact that it was actually his dad all along and he never knew. That’s a lot to re-process.

(Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that, if BanchouLeomon was his dad, why on earth did he hide it from him for so long? Something sneaky and underhanded like that isn’t what a man would do, is it…?)

BanchouLeomon:  “A BANCHOU NEVER LIES!”

Masaru flinches in shock at the booming dad sternness. Perhaps something about this is familiar to him, from long ago.

BanchouLeomon:  “Am I wrong, Masaru?”

Suguru drops the sternness and shifts into the fond dad smile. He must know his son would feel the same way about this idea. And, of course, though Suguru wasn’t there to hear it, Masaru did insist that a banchou never lies back in episode 30, when they’d only recently met BanchouLeomon! These two manly dorks both think alike, as you’d expect.

(Does Suguru really never lie, though? He’s had to be pretty deceptive towards them quite a few times while hiding his identity as BanchouLeomon, hasn’t he. It certainly makes sense that he’d be someone who’d want to never lie, in theory, so he can’t have been a huge fan of that at all.)

They’re interrupted by the rest of the DATS crew having made it to the top of the tree. I wonder if they got up here so relatively quickly because they used their partners for transport, but if they did, they all devolved as soon as they finished doing that. Regardless, it’s a good thing they’re also all here to hear the upcoming exposition about what’s been going on with Suguru.

Lalamon:  “BanchouLeomon?!”

Gaomon:  “He’s alive?”

BanchouLeomon:  “I won’t die that easily. That’s because this body has two lives dwelling within it.”

It’s a little odd that having two consciousnesses in the same body would apparently make it harder to kill, but I suppose we might be able to connect this to the tangible power of human emotions and human-Digimon connections in some way.

Suguru starts telling his story, and here’s where we get the subbers’ note that explains that he uses watashi while BanchouLeomon uses ore for their “I” pronouns in Japanese, making it sometimes possible to distinguish which one’s talking.

BanchouLeomon:  [narrating] “Along the way, we came across each other, as though we were destined to meet.”

He’s talking about how he met with BanchouLeomon on his journey to find Yggdrasil, but it’s interesting that he seems to think there was some kind of destiny at play here. Maybe this was in the sense that he and BanchouLeomon were always sort of connected and destined to be each other’s partners, just like what seems to have happened with the others whose partners arrived in the human world as eggs? Or perhaps Suguru’s just being manly and dramatic about it; that’s also very possible.

(This line is bound to be Suguru speaking. I’m going to continue to tag everything said in BanchouLeomon’s voice as BanchouLeomon like I’ve been doing this whole time, but unless it’s actually said within a flashback, it’s probably Suguru, just bear with me here. Consistency, dammit. Why does this series have so many characters hanging out in other characters’ bodies to make this difficult for me.)

(…You know what, I’m going to include those tags whenever he’s narrating, that’ll help. There.)

BanchouLeomon: “You’ve got guts stepping into my territory without notice.”

BanchouLeomon is such a banchou. This human’s on his turf, how dare he, that demands a fight, obviously! I’m sure Masaru can relate.

Suguru:  “I apologise for my rudeness.”

Suguru, meanwhile, is a lot less of a banchou on the surface. He’s being so polite about it! He explains that he’s looking for Yggdrasil and tries to walk past BanchouLeomon, but…

BanchouLeomon:  “A banchou or a god… Who is greater?”

Oh my god, this ridiculous banchou dork. (And yet, I can still imagine this as being the kind of attitude Masaru might also take.)

Suguru doesn’t even answer the question. BanchouLeomon just grins at him, evidently itching for a fight, and Suguru seems to pick up on that same spirit.

BanchouLeomon:  [narrating] “A battle between men has no need for a reason. We simply fire up our fighting spirits as we mutually display our fierce pride.”

Suguru may have been more polite on the surface, but he’s also an equally manly dork, as we know, and he is also very down to just have a good fight to test their strength against each other. Just like another pair of dorks we know!

As they throw a punch at each other and their fists meet, the volcano in the background dramatically erupts, just to punctuate it. I cannot help but wonder if this is truly how it happened – or maybe we’re seeing this scene as it’s being built up in Masaru’s imagination, and he imagined the eruption happening just because listen you guys my dad fought BanchouLeomon that’s so COOL and then a VOLCANO erupted just as they PUNCHED to show how AWESOME they are!!!! Because I kinda low-key headcanon that that’s why that’s there.

Later, as the volcano smokes and the sun sets, Suguru and BanchouLeomon are lying side by side, worn out from their fight, neither of them the victor nor the loser.

Suguru:  “Well fought…”

BanchouLeomon: “You threw some pretty good punches yourself…”

This is exactly word-for-word the exchange that Masaru and Agumon had after their fight back in episode 1! I told you to take note of that way back when for a reason. The only difference here is that the lines have been switched between the human and the Digimon – which is perhaps fitting, since this time it’s the human who was intruding on the Digimon’s turf, and not the other way around. This is an adorable parallel and I love it. Of course Masaru’s dad would have met and befriended his Digimon partner in the same way that Masaru did.

The setting sun is also the same as that scene in episode 1 with Masaru and Agumon, for that matter! And they follow up those lines by introducing themselves to each other, just like Agumon did (men don’t need to know each other’s names during their fight, after all!).

BanchouLeomon: “I’m a banchou. BanchouLeomon.”

Suguru:  “A banchou, huh? No wonder you’re so strong.”

As if you didn’t already know he was a banchou before the fight, given the way he led into it, Suguru, come on. Also, just look at him. Perhaps this is Suguru snarking at the obviousness of it in a low-key way that goes over BanchouLeomon’s head. Still, he does genuinely believe that that’s a reason for him to be strong, because we know he’s just as much of a dork about this sort of thing as Masaru is.

They shake hands, even though BanchouLeomon’s hand is at least twice as big as Suguru’s.

BanchouLeomon: [narrating] “And that’s how we completely hit it off with each other.”

I love the enthusiastic way he phrases this. They didn’t just meet, or become friends, they completely hit it off. Damn right they did, those dorks.

Masaru’s got this adorable excited smile as he listens to the story of his dad befriending his Digimon partner. No doubt he’s thinking about himself and Agumon and how similar their friendship is.

Masaru:  “Wait a second! What does that have to do with…?”

BanchouLeomon: “MASARU! LISTEN UNTIL SOMEONE FINISHES TALKING!”

Suguru breaks out the booming dad sternness again as Masaru continues to try and be straightforward about this. Some instinct in Masaru’s head clearly finds this familiar enough for him to behave himself and continue to listen. (His dad is the most important person after all; of course he’s got to behave when he gets told off by him.)

Suguru goes on to narrate about how he continued searching for Yggdrasil, now with BanchouLeomon as his travelling companion, but that it seemed almost impossible. Yggdrasil was so elusive and only spoken of in rumours and maybe didn’t even exist, as far as they knew.

Suguru doesn’t mention it, but during this time, a lot of stuff must have happened that we already know about. For one thing, this has to be when Suguru invented Digivices, now that he had his own partnership with a Digimon that he could use, to experiment with that bond and with Digisoul and start developing the technology.

This also means that he must have popped back to visit Mercurimon, if nothing else but to give him a Digivice for Ikuto, like we saw him do. Like I said back in episode 24/25, that one part of the flashback must have happened later than the parts where Mercurimon first told him to go and search for Yggdrasil. Perhaps there were a number of visits he made to Mercurimon to catch up and try and ask for more info on Yggdrasil. Maybe BanchouLeomon was also there and also got to know Mercurimon? We never see any indication that the two knew each other, but then Mercurimon was dead by the time BanchouLeomon first showed up in the series, so.

Presumably, DATS was also founded sometime around this time! At the very least, the part where DATS received blueprints for Digivices has to have happened after Suguru met BanchouLeomon, though it’s possible that Satsuma and Yushima were fighting with Kudamon and Kamemon without Digivices for a little while before then, perhaps.

(It’s still pretty fun how Kudamon must have come to Suguru to offer to go to the Digital World as an ambassador while secretly being a spy for Yggdrasil. And all the while Suguru was searching for Yggdrasil and had no idea he’d just made an agreement with one of the god’s very servants.)

So anyway, eventually, what must have been quite a few years later, Suguru and BanchouLeomon were wandering aimlessly through a desert (you know, that thing you do in the Digital World when you don’t have a plot to guide you) when Craniummon appeared before them, in a whirlwind, for drama points. The Royal Knights are all so extra.

Craniummon: “Are you the ones searching for Yggdrasil?”

Evidently – as Kudamon’s sneakery proves – Yggdrasil knew that this human was searching for it long before it decided to make itself known. Though Craniummon doesn’t quite say as much here, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was also sent to meet Suguru as a kind of test, to see if this human was worth granting an audience with in the first place. Surely it wouldn’t have taken so long for one of the Royal Knights to seek out this human who’s apparently been all over the place looking for their god, unless they were deliberately avoiding him until Yggdrasil gave Craniummon orders to approach.

Craniummon:  “I am the most faithful of the Royal Knights who serve under Yggdrasil, Craniummon!”

I’m sure all the Royal Knights say that about themselves, Craniummon. Also, fun irony, considering that Craniummon’s going to end up being only the second Royal Knight to think for himself and turn against Yggdrasil.

Upon hearing that this is a Royal Knight, one of Yggdrasil’s servants, Suguru and BanchouLeomon look at each other and burst out laughing. Not because they’re mocking him, but because they’re relieved and happy to hear evidence that this thing they’ve been fruitlessly searching for for years actually exists. Man, that must have been a stressful, exhausting search. (And it certainly proves that, Kudamon aside, the other Royal Knights kept well away from them the entire time.)

Suguru:  “Please! Take us to Yggdrasil!”

Craniummon: “Absurd! You believe Yggdrasil will allow an audience with a lowly human like you?!”

Well, apparently Yggdrasil must have been at least considering it on some level, or it wouldn’t have even asked Craniummon to show himself to them. But of course Craniummon’s got to approach this with the usual Royal Knight pompousness.

It’s telling, too, that Yggdrasil apparently considers humans lowly – and, keep in mind, this is before any of Kurata’s atrocities happened, so its prejudice isn’t even coming from that. Though it’s apparently willing to give them at least a bit of a chance, perhaps after hearing how persistent Suguru has been in his search, it seems it just… doesn’t like humans, in general.

Suguru bristles at the insult, but then BanchouLeomon steps forward to vouch for his friend, perhaps knowing that Craniummon will be more likely to listen to a Digimon’s view on this.

BanchouLeomon: “Humans have the power of emotions within them which we Digimon do not have!”

Which presumably isn’t to say that Digimon don’t have emotions – of course they do – but just that their emotions don’t carry the power of Digisoul like human emotions do.

BanchouLeomon: “When a Digimon becomes united with a human’s emotions, unlimited potential can be born!”

There it is again: that idea of infinite potential. Craniummon challenged Masaru to prove it to him by breaking his shield, but it turns out it wasn’t Masaru who first put that idea in his head – it was Suguru and his partner!

BanchouLeomon and Suguru both stare determinedly at Craniummon, and he relents enough to summon his spear and challenge them to prove their potential to him. Much like he did with Masaru!

Suguru responds by pulling out his Digivice and making BanchouLeomon go Burst Mode. It’s a little awkward that Suguru’s partner already being Ultimate-level when they met means that there’s relatively little Suguru’s Digisoul can do to power him up further. Sure, Burst Mode is impressive and apparently quite rare – perhaps it never usually happens without human input at all – but it’d be even more impressive if Craniummon saw Suguru evolve a Digimon all the way from Child level up to Ultimate level first. That’s showing potential.

(Given the natural evolution level of his partner, all of Suguru’s experiments on Digisoul and how it causes Digimon evolution… must have only been done at Burst Mode level…? It feels like that would give him incomplete data on exactly how it works, since Burst Mode’s a bit different anyway. I wonder if he somehow found a way to experiment with lower-level evolutions, too. Perhaps through being sent data by Satsuma and Yushima at DATS.)

(Also, time to talk about why I could be sure back in the previous arc that whatever reason BanchouLeomon – and Suguru – knew that Burst Mode misuse causes self-destruction couldn’t possibly be because it’d happened to them. If it had, BanchouLeomon would have turned into an egg, and then he’d have remembered Suguru when he hatched because of their friendship – which would mean that he would have known it’d be possible for Agumon to remember Masaru, too.)

Anyway, without a fancy evolution animation because he’s not important enough for one, BanchouLeomon goes Burst Mode, which is really more like BanchouLeomon ON FIRE MODE. He delivers one fierce burning punch to Craniummon’s spear and knocks it out of his hands… and that’s it. That doesn’t actually seem as impressive as it’s supposed to be. I like to imagine that maybe their fight was really more drawn-out than this, to give BanchouLeomon and Suguru a chance to really meaningfully impress Craniummon the way Masaru did, and we just don’t see it happen that way because this episode’s got too much other stuff to fit into it.

Still, this apparently-impressive feat surprised not only Craniummon, but also Yggdrasil, who was paying attention to all this. (Again with how I’m pretty sure Yggdrasil put Craniummon up to this.) The ground begins to shake.

Yggdrasil: “That was splendid, human.”

Suguru:  “It’s inside my head…”

Yggdrasil’s natural voice, when it’s not speaking through Suguru’s body, is an androgynous kind of voice that doesn’t have a physical sound so much as it just echoes through everyone’s minds, apparently. And it hasn’t shown any signs of a physical form, yet it was able to watch this encounter. Mercurimon’s words about how Yggdrasil is “everywhere and yet nowhere” may not have been so inaccurate. It is a god, after all.

Yggdrasil:  “I never imagined that human emotions could boost the power of a Digimon to this extent. This has far surpassed my expectations.”

…So long as we imagine that “to this extent” was a little more impressive than just “a little bit more powerful than the already ridiculously powerful Ultimate-level, to the point of being able to punch a weapon out of another Ultimate-level’s hands”. But perhaps Yggdrasil’s godlike powers allow it to measure and sense just exactly how much more powerful BanchouLeomon’s Burst Mode was. At the very least, I doubt it expected anything of the sort from a “lowly human”.

As Yggdrasil speaks, a sapling sprouts from the ground, quickly growing into a massive tree. This is the same World Tree that they’re at in the present day; it didn’t exist until this point! Locating Yggdrasil in the present is a lot easier, because all you need is someone who can tell you to go find the giant tree, but Suguru didn’t have any kind of pointer like that at all. It really was everywhere and yet nowhere, until just now.

Craniummon: “This is the first time Yggdrasil has presented himself publicly!”

The tree isn’t precisely Yggdrasil itself, I don’t think, but it’s something like an extension of it and its powers. It is pretty impressive that Suguru’s display of strength caused Yggdrasil to decide to give itself more of a physical anchor in the Digital World, when it felt quite content to be an incorporeal non-interfering consciousness until then.

In the present, Suguru narrates that things should have gone well from there, leading to the forging of harmony between Digimon and humans like he wanted… except that right then, with the worst possible timing, Kurata happened.

We get a couple of very brief flashback shots to the first massacre, proving exactly how you should do recaps: only brief shots are needed to remind us of the thing that happened! We don’t need to practically watch it happen again!

As soon as this happened, Suguru was seized and thrown into some sort of makeshift prison cell inside Yggdrasil’s tree. Even though the god must know full well that Suguru himself had nothing to do with Kurata’s attack, the attack was carried out by humans, and Suguru’s a human, so how dare he come here waxing lyrical about harmony between humans and Digimon.

(Hmm, you know, I’ve never really thought about this until now, but I wonder… was this timing truly just a coincidence? Yggdrasil apparently sent Craniummon to approach Suguru in order to test him and give humans a chance, and it says it was deeply impressed by the power of Digisoul. But I wonder – with its omniscience about everything in the Digital World, did it know that Kurata’s massacre was just about to start? Could it have timed it this way on purpose, to use Kurata’s actions against Suguru, and silence any sense of advocacy for humans he might have otherwise seemed to have?)

Craniummon: “Yggdrasil has commanded us to wreak vengeance against the human world.”

See – right after Kurata’s first massacre, Yggdrasil already wanted to do this, just like it’s doing in the present. Things never needed to get to the point of the two worlds colliding and this apparently being the only way to save the Digital World for Yggdrasil to want humanity gone.

Suguru pleads with him to stop the attack, and insists that humans and Digimon can still become friends. Craniummon counters that that’s not possible now, because of the hatred that Digimon have for humans after what’s just happened.

BanchouLeomon: “Answering hatred with hatred only creates more hatred. Why can’t you realise that? […] If we don’t break the chain of hatred at some point, there will be no future for both humans and Digimon!”

Wise words from BanchouLeomon! He’s here to vouch for his friend, but he’s taking a somewhat more pragmatic approach than Suguru’s fervent insistence on human and Digimon friendship, which is perhaps slightly more likely to work on Craniummon, given his current mood.

Craniummon: “Then… That means we Digimon are the only ones who must endure the anguish! Can you dare repeat those words to the ones who have lost their beloved companions forever?!”

It is unfair for the Digimon, but also, revenge is bad and won’t actually bring those lost Digimon back. And it’s especially bad to wreak “vengeance” upon a human race who were 99.9999999% completely uninvolved with Kurata’s massacre anyway, come on. I wonder if Yggdrasil’s account of the attack twisted the facts slightly to give Craniummon the impression that it was most of humanity who want Digimon dead, and not just one single human with a few lackeys.

Suguru:  “Please! Have faith in humanity just one more time! I promise that this tragedy will never happen again! I bet my life on it!”

Aww, Suguru. I wonder if they told him that the attack was carried out by Kurata, his old assistant? Even if they didn’t, perhaps he can figure out as much. But even then, he has faith that his other comrades from the expedition, like Yushima and Satsuma, would have picked up on this happening and be able to take measures to stop it ever happening again. Kurata was a cowardly exception, but Suguru truly believes that most humans are so much better than this, to the point that he’s willing to stake his life on that belief.

And of course, this is also him staking his life simply to protect humanity, as this is the only way he can think of to get Yggdrasil to call off its attack.

Craniummon: “Your life?”

BanchouLeomon: “Believe him.”

Suguru:  “BanchouLeomon!”

BanchouLeomon: “This man will never lie.”

BanchouLeomon’s putting in a good word for his friend, which Suguru even seems somewhat surprised by. Of course he would, Suguru; he doesn’t trust you any less just because Kurata’s decided to be an asshole!

And yes: a Man such as Suguru would never lie, never make a promise he doesn’t intend to follow through on. If he says he bets his life, that means he is 100% willing to give up his life should he turn out to be wrong. (Right?)

Yggdrasil, still just a disembodied voice around some floating crystals, decides to trust Suguru’s word, and holds off on its attack.

So, when Yggdrasil claimed back in episode 39 that, after Kurata’s first massacre, it continued to watch over the humans to be certain they were truly despicable? It was glossing over a pretty big piece of the picture there! It only decided to do that at all because of Suguru, because Suguru begged it to reconsider and swore on his life that humans could be better, and that made it willing to give them one more chance.

(Or maybe, Yggdrasil isn’t actually reconsidering at all, but it realises that with Suguru’s vow, most of its Royal Knights would likely feel more hesitant to attack the human world now. So it’s playing the long game and waiting for things to escalate more, so that it can manipulate them into thoroughly agreeing.)

In order to make sure he’s keeping his word and is willing to die if he should be wrong, Suguru was kept in that prison in Yggdrasil’s tree for the entire time since then. So, from that point on at least, he genuinely couldn’t return to the human world or contact DATS or his family in any way, for a very important reason. Masaru’s not entirely wrong to have believed that his dad would only not have come home for all that time because he was unable to.

This also means that Mercurimon never saw Suguru again after the day of Kurata’s first massacre and never knew why, which would not have helped with his belief that this was Suguru betraying him, as I talked about back then.

Several years would have passed between this and the next part we’re about to be shown, throughout which Suguru would have just been stuck in prison without much to do. I imagine that BanchouLeomon came to visit him a lot to keep him company, and also that Craniummon was the primary Royal Knight responsible for guarding him. Craniummon did call BanchouLeomon and/or Suguru his friend, which is likely to have developed over years of hanging out at Suguru’s prison cell and coming to respect them both.

But then, of course, despite Suguru’s fervent promise, Kurata struck again and murdered Mercurimon. (We get another satisfyingly brief recap clip to remind us of that.) Now we’ve caught up to stuff that was happening concurrently with the series, behind the scenes.

Suguru:  “Damn it! What are Chief Yushima and Satsuma-kun doing?!”

Suguru really must have been counting on them to keep Kurata in line. Alas, stuck in his cell in the Digital World without any understanding of the situation back in the human world (even if you knew, there’d be nothing you could do), he’d have no idea of all the political powerplays that were going on over there that prevented Satsuma and Yushima from doing anything to stop it. Heck, they weren’t even aware of Kurata’s first massacre until way too late.

(Also, a brief little insight that it seems like Satsuma must be younger than Suguru, considering the lower-status honorific Suguru uses for him. Satsuma did always seem to have a lot of respect for Suguru.)

Craniummon: “I’ve heard another disturbing rumour. Your son, Daimon Masaru, is here in the Digital World.”

Suguru:  “What?”

Craniummon:  “It appears he came chasing after a man named Kurata…”

This puts these events we’re watching right now between the end of episode 27, in which the DATS team made it to the Digital World again to chase Kurata, and the beginning of episode 28, in which BanchouLeomon showed up in front of them, at which point Suguru would have been inside his head. I said there must have been a lot of offscreen wandering in between those two episodes; this is why.

Craniummon: “…but he is utterly powerless against him.”

Suguru:  “Let me out of here right now!”

Hearing that Masaru’s here in the Digital World, in danger, fighting an enemy too strong for him to manage, Suguru forgets about everything else and grabs hold of the twisted branches that he has for cell bars in desperation. He has to go and protect his son. What a good dad.

And, though Masaru’s grown pretty strong and capable of protecting himself by now and has a Digimon partner by his side, remember that Suguru wouldn’t realise that! He last saw Masaru when he was only a four year old boy, and he must still instinctively think of his son as that little kid who needs protecting.

BanchouLeomon, however, reminds Suguru that he can’t leave. He placed his life on his promise that this wouldn’t happen again, and he was wrong – which means he has to die.

BanchouLeomon:  “A man must keep his promises!”

And Suguru should know that, right? These are his manly principles, just as much as or even more than they’re BanchouLeomon’s.

Suguru:  “A man doesn’t… go back on his word…”

At any other time, Suguru would no doubt be more willing to do this – to keep his man’s promise, even though that means forfeiting his life. If he didn’t, that’d be like proving himself to be some sneaky underhanded coward who never actually meant what he said when he made that promise years ago. That’s Not What A Man Does. But…

Suguru falls to his knees, pounding the ground with his fists in anguish.

Suguru:  “Masaru… Masaru! Masaru!!!”

…if he does the manly thing and keeps his word, he’s never going to see his son again. His son, who might be in danger, who might need his protection, whom Suguru just wants to get to be a dad to after all this time, and raise him, and watch him grow up…!

If Craniummon hadn’t reminded him of his son by telling him Masaru’s here in the Digital World, maybe Suguru would have been able to push that aside and do the Manly Thing without hesitating. But now that he knows, all he can think about as he’s going to die is Masaru.

(What a good dad!!! Look at how Masaru’s just as important to him as he is to Masaru, and even more important than his principles of manliness. Aaaaa. I have a lot of Feelings about this moment.)

We cut to Suguru’s execution. He stands, blindfolded, hands tied behind his back, a tiny figure on that giant podium in the chamber at the top of the tree as all of the Royal Knights tower around him. (Well, all of them that we’ve seen in Savers except obviously Sleipmon, and also Duftmon, who I guess really does like to work alone.)

Dukemon:  “Do you have any last words?”

Suguru:  “I don’t want to die.”

Aaaa, Suguru. All of the Royal Knights react with shock as they hear him come out with this. He’s about to be killed because he promised he’d do this; they were no doubt expecting his last words to be some kind of honourable final statement of his convictions. Suguru himself must know that’s the kind of thing he ought to be saying. But he can’t think about anything except the fact that he doesn’t want this.

Suguru:  “I want to make Masaru… I want to make my son into a fine young man, so I can’t die until then.”

It’s not even necessarily about protecting Masaru – it’s even more about Suguru wanting to raise him and finally be a dad to him and watch him grow up into a full-fledged Man! By “fine young man”, he’s using that same Japanese phrase that was subbed as “grown man” in the flashback where he gave his pendant to Masaru, and as “full-fledged individual” when Masaru met Agumon. He just desperately wants to get to be part of making Masaru into the person he is.

(Oh, Suguru. You already are, so much more than you know.)

Craniummon: “You dare to make those words your last at your dying hour? If you’re a man, then don’t make such unsightly utterances!”

Suguru grimaces at this, at the thought that he’s failing to be a Man in his final moments. All of his principles still matter to him an awful lot, enough that he hates to be breaking them, but… Masaru matters to him even more.

(Really, though, Craniummon, I think it’s plenty manly of him to care about raising his son! Perhaps it’s because Digimon don’t do the parents thing that Craniummon doesn’t quite get this and thinks this is just cowardly unmanly nonsense. …Though I’m sure Suguru must have talked about his son plenty during their prison visit chats. We know he talked about Masaru to Mercurimon in their very first conversation.)

Before the Royal Knights can execute Suguru, BanchouLeomon leaps onto the podium to stand beside his friend and block their path.

Craniummon: “Does this mean you are betraying the Digimon and siding with the humans?!”

BanchouLeomon totally is, as it happens, but he doesn’t want to let on about that.

BanchouLeomon:  “I would merely like to, as his friend, send him personally to the other world.”

This is a believable excuse for why he’s doing this, even as it’s kind of heartbreaking – the idea that, if Suguru’s going to die no matter what, he’d prefer to be killed by the hand of someone he trusts. Aww, but also ouch. That’s some friendship.

BanchouLeomon: “Forgive me.”

With this – I love that he feels the need to say this, they are friends – BanchouLeomon punches Suguru in the stomach, powerfully enough that energy erupts out through his body from the force of it. As an Ultimate-level Digimon, of course he can kill a human in a single attack.

(Which goes to show that he must have been not drawing on his Digimon powers when he and Suguru befriended each other in that fight, in order to make it fair and even and not literally kill him with a single punch. Just like how Agumon didn’t use his fire breath against Masaru!)

As Suguru’s body collapses to the ground, BanchouLeomon fiercely addresses the god he knows is watching.

BanchouLeomon: “This man believed in the future of humans and Digimon, and gave us his life! In honour of this man’s passion, desist from your attack on the human world!”

It seems like BanchouLeomon had got wind that Yggdrasil was, again, planning to wreak vengeance on the human world in retribution for Kurata’s crimes. Not even to stop Kurata, apparently, who is currently murdering his way through countless Digimon villages, but just to kill all of the other humans back in their own world who evidently don’t have anything to do with this. Yeah, those, uh, sure are some priorities Yggdrasil has.

Yggdrasil doesn’t say a word, but the crystals above the group glow and then fade, as if in acknowledgement. Once again, Suguru’s sheer manly passion and willingness to give his life was enough to give Yggdrasil second thoughts and allow it to give humanity another chance. Or so it would seem on the surface, at least – again, I suspect that Yggdrasil may be thinking more about how its Royal Knights would feel if it attacked the human world now despite Suguru’s sacrifice and has decided once more to wait for things to escalate just a little further.

Later, the Royal Knights have left the chamber, and BanchouLeomon kneels by Suguru’s side.

BanchouLeomon: “Forgive me, Suguru. This was the only thing I could do to save you.”

Suguru’s mortally wounded, dying, but not quite dead yet. This is why BanchouLeomon stepped in to kill his friend himself – because he knew that he could make sure to do so in a way that gave him just enough time for this last resort.

BanchouLeomon: “Entrust your life to me.”

Suguru:  “My… life…?”

BanchouLeomon: “Become one with me. That’s the only way to fool Yggdrasil’s eyes.”

That’s why Suguru’s been in BanchouLeomon’s head this whole time – because it was the only way BanchouLeomon could think of to keep his friend alive and safe when he was supposed to be dead. What a good friend, to be willing to share his body with his buddy just like that, in order to protect him.

(There’s a little problem here that he’s overlooked, though. Yggdrasil doesn’t exactly have eyes to fool, does it?)

BanchouLeomon:  “By uniting with me, you can also watch over your son, Masaru, in the shadows.”

Perhaps, under other circumstances, BanchouLeomon wouldn’t have done this. He understood how important it was for Suguru to keep his man’s promise and submit to this execution honourably. But then he saw his friend’s anguish at not being able to see his son again, and he must have figured… that is even more important, actually.

Suguru agrees to this offer without any hesitation. It may not be the honourable manly thing to fake one’s execution, or to hide one’s identity, but at this point, he doesn’t even care next to his overwhelming desperation to keep being Masaru’s dad in at least some small way.

They clasp hands around Suguru’s Digivice, which glows with energy, and I guess somehow that transfers Suguru’s soul into BanchouLeomon’s body. This is not entirely unlike what Kurata did with Belphemon, I guess, just with actual consent on the Digimon’s part this time.

(I suppose this does beg the question of how BanchouLeomon knew such a thing was possible. Maybe it’s something Suguru discovered and studied the theory of during all of his time studying Digisoul and human-Digimon bonds?)

Masaru:  “Then… You’re really… You’re really my dad?!”

Back in the present, having reached the part of the story that explains how Suguru’s soul ended up in BanchouLeomon’s body, Masaru is staring at him in renewed shock. Finally, straightforward as he is, he can properly accept it, now that he’s been told how.

Suguru breaks into the fond dad smile again with his friend’s lion face.

BanchouLeomon: “You’ve sure grown big, Masaru.”

He steps forward and ruffles Masaru’s hair, and just for a moment Masaru’s a little kid again, feeling the physical affection from his dad that he’s missed for so long, and it’s adorable. How desperately must Suguru have wanted to do this, to just get to actually treat Masaru like his son for the entire time he’s been around him as BanchouLeomon, aaaa.

But it only lasts a moment before Masaru pushes his hand away.

Masaru:  “Why?! Why did you keep quiet about such an important thing until now? Dad!”

This is not the first time Masaru’s tried to ask his dad something to the effect of “why didn’t you tell me you were safe?”, oh man. It must be especially hard to know that throughout all his encounters with BanchouLeomon, his dad was right there, but he was hiding, lying to Masaru about his identity. That kind of underhanded thing isn’t what a man does! It doesn’t make sense that his dad would do that, does it?

Suguru replies that he couldn’t tell Masaru his identity, and he goes back into narrating the rest of what happened after he merged with BanchouLeomon, in order to explain why.

BanchouLeomon: “Now you are inside of me.”

Suguru:  (Let’s go. We have to stop Kurata.)

BanchouLeomon: “Yeah.”

Here’s a brief little illustration of the fact that whoever’s not in control can still communicate telepathically with the other, as you’d expect when they’re hanging out in the same head.

Yggdrasil:  “I won’t let that happen.”

BanchouLeomon: “Yggdrasil!”

Yggdrasil: “You are both fools for thinking you could deceive a god.”

They… kind of are? BanchouLeomon talked about fooling Yggdrasil’s “eyes”, but… Yggdrasil’s pretty much omniscient, actually. It’s just a floating omnipresent consciousness; of course it’s going to notice if they do a body-swap.

It doesn’t seem like Yggdrasil is willing to also kill BanchouLeomon in order to get rid of Suguru properly – perhaps it’s worried the Royal Knights might take issue with that. Instead, to deal with them a different way, it takes control of Suguru’s body.

Yggdrasil:  “I have now taken this body hostage.”

BanchouLeomon: “What?!”

Yggdrasil:  “If you ever tell anyone about your true identities, or directly involve yourselves in battle, I shall destroy this body at once.”

That’s why BanchouLeomon always stood around without actually helping, and why Suguru kept his presence a secret.

And, so, listen. This does in theory make perfectly good sense as a reason for it, but that reason is presented wrong in these lines. It doesn’t fit for Suguru’s body to be held hostage when Suguru had already been executed. He knew his human body was dead anyway! He’d accepted that when he merged with BanchouLeomon! You can’t exactly threaten somebody with losing something they’d already gone and lost.

What this actually is, which I wish had been presented this way better, is not a threat, but a bribe. Yggdrasil has restored Suguru’s body to normal working order, because it’s a god and it can do that. What it’s really saying by inhabiting the body and waving its functionalness in front of their faces like this is, “if you behave and do as I say, I might let you have this body back once this is all over”. Suguru might just be able to get to live with his son and wife and daughter again and return to his normal family life, which he thought he’d sacrificed for good, if only he complies.

Yggdrasil already knows that Suguru’s willing to betray his manly principles, the principles that were supposed to be so important to him, for the sake of his son. Or, well, maybe it doesn’t quite understand the family part of that, because that’s a weird human thing, but at least it realises on some level that Suguru doesn’t want to die for some particular reason, so it’s hoping that giving him a chance at his life back will be enough to make him comply and stay out of things.

And so, of course he did. Of course Suguru hid his identity, and refused to directly help fight Kurata and save Digimon lives, even though that’s very decidedly Not What A Man Does… all for the chance of just maybe getting to live with his family again, in his own human body, once this is all over. Even though he believed he was willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of protecting harmony between humans and Digimon, when it comes right down to it… of course he doesn’t want to lose that, not if he can avoid it.

Gotsumon:  “Why… Why would Yggdrasil do that?”

Tohma:  “It’s a trial from God. Yggdrasil wanted to test them! It was all to determine whether or not we humans were a positive existence to the Digimon!”

Yoshino:  “That’s too selfish of him!”

Lalamon:  “That’s right! Does that mean he doesn’t care if masses of humans and Digimon get hurt in the process?!”

Yggdrasil: “Exactly.”

So this exchange is interesting. It doesn’t appear that Gotsumon’s “why” is referring to “why did Yggdrasil take Suguru’s body”, because then Lalamon’s comment doesn’t make any sense. So what’s actually being discussed here is, “why did Yggdrasil tell BanchouLeomon and Suguru to stay out of the fight, even though they could have helped save lives?”

Tohma’s answer may be somewhat close to the truth – this idea that it wanted to test to see if other humans were worthwhile allies to Digimon, while removing from the equation the one human it saw as a potential outlier.

But I also suspect that Lalamon’s comment, and Yggdrasil’s agreement with it, really gets to the heart of this. That Yggdrasil didn’t care how many humans and Digimon got hurt as a result of it choosing to let Kurata’s attempted genocide play out. That, really, it was just waiting for an inevitable disaster like the dimensional catastrophe we’re in right now, to give it the ultimate excuse to destroy all of humanity that no Royal Knight would ever question. Can’t have Suguru and BanchouLeomon helping fight Kurata when they might do such a good job of it that they stop things escalating this far.

This was Yggdrasil speaking again, for the first time in the present this episode. Either it took that long for it to regain the strength of its borrowed human body, or perhaps it was willing to let the others indulge in some backstory exposition? Not sure. But now, it blasts its way out of the rubble it was buried under and stands up.

Yggdrasil: “You worthless humans… Even when you are confronted with this unprecedented crisis, not once have you reflected on the error of your ways. All you do is run around fretfully. Your actions are truly the height of stupidity.”

We get some shots of the chaos in the human world as it says this, making it clear that it’s talking about humanity in general. And, Yggdrasil, what the heck else did you expect them to do? How can the vast, vast majority of humans reflect on “errors” that they didn’t even know existed? It’s still weaving a narrative to make humans sound bad that does not actually hold up to logical scrutiny.

But also note how it’s not even really bothering to argue that humans are a threat to Digimon any more. It just thinks they’re… stupid? As if that’s why they should all die?

Ikuto:  “There are plenty of people who are working hard to protect the worlds from this disaster!”

By “plenty of people”, he’s referring to his human parents and Satsuma, who are still working on trying to fix the barrier. Which is a whole, uh, three people. Still, to be fair, that is a pretty big proportion of the humans who actually even understand what’s happening, so!

Yggdrasil, still insistent on getting its way, shoots a blast of energy out of Suguru’s hand at the group, who all dive out of the way.

Yggdrasil: “Humans are unnecessary. That is what I, Yggdrasil, the God of the Digital World, have concluded!”

Yep; it wants humanity gone simply because they’re unnecessary to it. Like Tohma mused last episode – since humans don’t belong in the Digital World, it’s like Yggdrasil sees them as a virus. This has nothing to do with getting rid of them because it’s the only way to stop the collision. It’s not even bothering to try and make it about that any more. (Perhaps because there are no Royal Knights in earshot.)

Masaru:  “Like hell we’d accept that self-centred decision of yours!”

Hah, you tell it, Masaru. Now that he knows this thing isn’t and never was his dad, he’s right back to being delightfully Masaru at it – of course Yggdrasil deciding the fate of an entire species just based on its own whims is ridiculously self-centred of it.

Yoshino:  “He’s right! You can’t get away with everything just because you’re a god!”

Yggdrasil: “Silence! All who defy me deserve to die!”

Yggdrasil seems quite pissed off at having people actually talk back to it! It’s really not used to that, is it, being usually surrounded by nothing but yes-men in the form of the Royal Knights.

Agumon:  “You don’t know anything!”

Yggdrasil: “What?”

Agumon:  “I have fun being with Aniki! I like fighting strong guys and getting stronger myself! It’s exciting!”

Aww, Agumon, look at him standing up for his human friend! I like that this seems to be a rebuttal to Yggdrasil’s silent assumption that, as the God of the Digital World, what it’s decided must obviously be best for Digimon – but no, of course it isn’t! Of course the Digimon themselves have something to say about that!

The intro to Believer starts up here, incidentally, giving this bit a nice triumphant sort of mood even though it’s not a fight yet.

Gaomon:  “Me, too! I am proud to be fighting alongside my master!”

Aww, Gaomon, what a good dog, of course he’s proud of that.

Lalamon:  “Me, too! I love Yoshino!”

Lalamon giving a platonic I-love-you towards Yoshino! That’s always adorable.

Falcomon:  “Me, too! Ikuto is precious to me!”

And Falcomon, of course, best birb friend. All of the Digimon’s human partners all seem touched by their friends’ words. Did you know that FRIENDS, because clearly Yggdrasil didn’t.

Agumon:  “Digimon and humans can appreciate each other!”

With this firm insistence, Agumon shoots a Baby Flame at one of Yggdrasil’s energy blasts, which dissipates pathetically against it, but it’s an adorably Masaru-like sentiment for him to have tried anyway. The blast sends the group diving to the ground again (Masaru lands with an arm protectively around Ikuto, which is cute). Only BanchouLeomon is still standing.

Masaru:  “What should we do? What should we do to stop Yggdrasil? Dad!”

I love how Masaru instinctively turns to his dad for the solution to this situation. His dad’s the bestest strongest ever, after all – Masaru’s never stopped feeling that way. If anyone knows how to get them through this, it must be him.

His dad gives him a pained smile.

BanchouLeomon/Suguru: “There will come a time in a man’s life when he must accomplish something at the risk of his life. Now is that time.”

BanchouLeomon’s image is overlaid with one of Suguru, and Suguru’s voice, as he says this, reflecting the fact that Masaru knows full well it’s his dad speaking here. Suguru must have previously felt that the time to risk his life for something important enough had come, back when he vowed the massacre would never happen again – but this time, it really is it.

Masaru:  “Dad?”

Masaru just reacts with confusion, not at all wanting to properly process what those words must mean, as his dad turns his back to him to face Yggdrasil.

BanchouLeomon: “Masaru! Take care of Mom and Chika.”

Oh boy. Now that’s a goodbye if Masaru ever heard one. (It’s very fitting that that’s the goodbye Suguru would give him, trusting Masaru to look after the family and be the dad to them in his place – just like he’s always been trying to do this whole time!) This moment’s also neatly underlined by Believer shifting from its intro section into its main riff.

Masaru stares in shock, still not quite willing to process what’s about to happen, as his dad strides towards Yggdrasil. Yggdrasil fires blasts of energy at him, but Suguru’s simply grimaces slightly with his lion face, refusing to let the pain stop him, and keeps approaching. Yggdrasil shifts to firing blasts with both hands, seemingly putting as much force into it as it can; Suguru roars in exertion and makes it close enough to trap his own possessed body in a huge bear hug. (Lion hug?)

BanchouLeomon: “You’re coming with me to the bottom of Hell.”

Damn, Suguru. Sounds like he’s been pretty low-key pissed off at Yggdrasil and waiting to be able to get one over on it for quite a while now.

BanchouLeomon: “Now, Masaru! Destroy my body along with Yggdrasil!”

Yeahhh, Masaru’s not stoked about that plan! Not only is this the first moment he’s unable to run away from the fact that this is very definitely his dad sacrificing himself, it also turns out that he’s got to be the one to pull the metaphorical trigger. I love this shot of his shocked expression, in negative colours to really sell the impact of it, and exquisitely punctuated by the… orchestral hits? Is that the right musical term? that form Believer’s dramatic lead-in to the chorus.

Masaru:  “No way! I can’t do that!”

BanchouLeomon:  “Do it! You’re a man!”

Masaru:  “But…!”

Aaaaa, Masaru. Of course he doesn’t want to do that to his dad! But… it is what needs to be done here, to defeat Yggdrasil. It is the sort of thing a Man needs to do at a time like this, to make such a huge sacrifice for the sake of the greater good. Masaru knows that, but… still…!

(Technically Masaru doesn’t have to be the one to kill his dad and Yggdrasil here. It could really be any of the team’s evolved partners to do it. But in this situation, since the sacrifice being made is Masaru’s dad, it’s only fair that Masaru needs to be able to make himself okay with this happening. If someone else just went and killed his dad against his will, that’d be horribly cruel, more so than pushing him into being able to accept this himself. That’s what Suguru wants, and why he’s asking his own son to kill him.)

Masaru and Suguru look at each other for a lingering moment, Masaru anguished and hesitant, Suguru unwavering and determined.

BanchouLeomon: “Please. Masaru! NOW!”

Masaru:  “Dad…”

Masaru grimaces, trying so hard to force himself into being able to do this for his dad’s sake, and then roars in anguish and flares up with a blazing Digisoul, right in time with the Believer! at the end of the song’s chorus. Yet another instance in which he’s managed it without needing a punch first – if ever he’d be able to fire up those emotions without that psychological trigger, it’d be now.

Masaru:  “Digisoul Charge… Overdrive!”

A detail I extremely enjoy here is that, for the only time ever, we do not get the stock footage for the Digisoul Charge. It’s animated uniquely here in a rather more subdued way, without the dramatic spin-around they all usually do, and also voiced differently – note the lack of exclamation mark after the Charge. Masaru is forcing himself to find the strength to do this, but he cannot get eager and excited about it like he usually does. Of course he can’t.

(Agumon’s evolution animation into ShineGreymon is still the same, though.)

The BGM switches from Believer to Burst Mode, that momentous, haunting choral piece, which is very fitting for this moment (even though there’s no actual Burst Mode involved at all).

Yggdrasil is still trapped in BanchouLeomon’s arms, unable to get free.

Yggdrasil: “You’ll die too, if you stay like this!”

BanchouLeomon/Suguru:  “When we revealed to them who we really were… We were already prepared for death!”

Indeed, Yggdrasil essentially threatened them with the death of Suguru’s human body – for real this time – if they ever revealed their identities. They must have already known that doing this would be a last resort, only if they were willing to make that sacrifice.

Perhaps Suguru’s more ready to die this time than he was last time, now that he’s actually gotten to see his son again, see how much stronger he’s grown and be able to help him along that path. And perhaps it also feels a lot more right to be dying for a purpose, helping to save the world from the worst possible crisis, rather than simply because he promised he would for no actual gain.

BanchouLeomon/Suguru: “Now, shoot! Masaru!”

Masaru’s still staring in anguish, fighting to make himself able to do this. He flashes back to the day his father left, when he played catch and gave him the pendant; then to BanchouLeomon smiling at him after their training to reach Ultimate-level, which Masaru now realises was his dad being so proud of him. It’s almost unbearable to think that his dad’s going to be gone, for good this time, after all the effort Masaru went through to find him again…!

Masaru:  “Dad… Dad…! DAD!!!”

With yet another delightfully agonised series of expressions, Masaru finally manages to work up the courage to do this, screaming his dad’s name. Of course, he’s not even the one doing the deed – but ShineGreymon glances at him just briefly, at that last desperate scream, before firing the attack. I think ShineGreymon was able to sense that his aniki had finally completely found the mental resolve to do this, and only fired once that was the case.

BanchouLeomon/Suguru: “Thank you… Masaru…”

Suguru (and BanchouLeomon) takes the attack with a serene smile on his face, so proud of his son for having found the strength to do this.

Masaru:  “DAD!!!”

Masaru… is very far from serene about any of this. He’s just screaming in emotional agony, tears in his eyes, barely able to take it. I want to give this kid a hug, he is so strong and brave. Masaruuuuuu.

The force of the blast shakes the entire tree they’re inside. Back in the human world, Chika seems to somehow be able to sense what just happened to her father. The rest of the Royal Knights, too, can somehow feel that their god has just been dealt a very devastating blow.

This includes Dukemon and Sleipmon, who it turns out aren’t actually dead after all. Sleipmon froze them together in a block of ice at the end of episode 41, but they’re still alive, slowly sinking towards the bottom of the ocean.

Sleipmon:  “Did you feel that?”

Dukemon:  “Yes. Yggdrasil has fallen.”

Sleipmon:  “Now you understand. God is not absolute.”

Dukemon:  “Yes… But… it appears I’ve realised that too late.”

Saying that Yggdrasil has fallen is a bit of an overstatement, because, ha ha, about that. But at the very least, this has apparently proven that it’s not invincible. Good on Sleipmon for trying to use this moment to persuade Dukemon towards his point of view, like he was always wanting to do in the first place. Maybe the Royal Knights shouldn’t just be mindlessly following their god, huh? Though it’s a bit much that it takes their god being physically vulnerable, rather than morally reprehensible, for Dukemon to start considering that.

In the Digital World, the entire giant tree is in flames and falling apart. It seems like ShineGreymon must have grabbed everyone and flown them out of there to safety before the fire took hold.

Masaru:  “Dad…”

Masaru, of course, is still shaken by this. Of course he is.

Ikuto:  “Let’s go home… To the human world.”

Ikuto says this with a sad, sympathetic look towards Masaru. If anyone does, he understands how Masaru’s feeling right now. He’s also lost his father and yet had to move on and keep fighting with barely any time to grieve.

Tohma, too, gently reminds Masaru that their fight isn’t over yet.

Masaru:  “Yeah. Let’s go, ShineGre—!”

In Masaru’s expression, you can see the exact moment he manages to push his grief aside and focus on what needs to be done, forcing some of that usual upbeat determination back into himself. This kid is so damn resilient.

But before they can do that, a huge shape emerges from the burning wreckage as Yggdrasil threatens them, now with its own androgynous voice. Whoops, Suguru’s body wasn’t Yggdrasil’s real body. Of course it wasn’t.

Suguru and BanchouLeomon should have thought about that before pulling their sacrifice, because, ouch. I imagine they assumed that by putting itself into a human body, Yggdrasil had made itself vulnerable – but they were wrong. Turns out you can’t kill a god that easily, actually.

Overall thoughts

Another really long commentary as a sign of a good episode! Apparently big flashback backstory episodes do that to me.

Oh my god, look at Suguru and BanchouLeomon being such ridiculous banchou dorks in their friendship, as Suguru and his Digimon partner were always going to be, I love them. And I especially love the deliberate parallels drawn with Masaru and Agumon, of course they did that, it’s great. Plus some very adorable father-son moments between Masaru and Suguru, finally, now that Suguru’s not hiding his identity and Masaru actually knows this is his dad. Even if he’s a lion.

I really love that, in this most Suguru-focused episode, we get to see plenty of him not only being a manly dork but also being human and fallible and conflicted, in stark contrast to Masaru’s idealised perfect image of him we’ve had in mind for most of the series. In particular, I love he wanted to do the Honourable Manly Thing and keep his promise to stake his life on his word, but when it came right down to it, he couldn’t – because of Masaru. It’s not that his principles aren’t important to him; of course they are, we see that. It’s that Masaru is even more important to him than any of that. What a good dad. And that’s why he’s been hiding himself as BanchouLeomon all this time, even though such deception is an underhanded thing that Isn’t What A Man Does – for the chance of being able to get his family life back at the end of it all. Of course he would.

Then of course I cannot help but be fond of the incredible Masaru Being Not Okay-ness of the climax in which he has to be the one to kill his dad in order to (supposedly) defeat Yggdrasil, aaa. Masaruuuuu.

---

[Dub comparison]

[district2001]

Visual Ranking

Seventeen AU: 14th member

Jangmi x SVT

Recap: Dino decides the visual ranking of SVT in OFD.

Words: 1k

Requested: YES

AN: Requests are OPEN: I tried to keep this as similar to the iconic visual ranking as possible, so enjoy all the translations pairing up 😊

Also anon I’m sorry for spoiling the ranking when I responded to ur message. Hope you enjoy & thank you for requesting

Jangmi’s Masterlist

“Seventeens visual ranking chosen by yourself.” Dino read out while showing the camera the yellow paper.

Jangmi internally cringed. Why did they think this was a good idea? Didn’t the PD-nims know that its rude to rank people based on the beauty? Plus all the k-netz were currently at her throat about her body.

She shuffled back a bit, hitting her back against the wall, allowing DK and Vernon to shield her from the camera.

Jangmi knew she couldn’t get out of the situation, and the only thing she could do was put on a brave face and politely laugh at the roasting. Even if it was going against her morals of not degrading people.

Dino walked up and down the line the members were standing in, folding his hands behind his back.

“You look like a drill sergeant!” Hoshi yelled.

“A handsome one.” Joshua added, buttering up the twin-maknae.

“Exactly.” Dino confirmed, positing himself at the top of the line. “Yes I am, I am 1st! This is an extremely sensitive subject; I think you all know.”

Jangmi laughed. Bless his confidence.

He continued talking. “I am handsome, am I not?”

“Oh yes, you face is lit up... its shining!” DK complimented him.

She decided that the only way she could get out of being last was to hype him up like the rest of the members. “You shine brighter than the sun.”

“I’m also hotter than the sun.”

Jangmi furrowed her eyebrows. “You can’t compliment yourself as well. You just seem… cocky.”

“Is that so?” Dino challenged stepping forward. “In that case, I shouldn’t rank you highly since I don’t want to start acting-” He paused for dramatic effect. “-cocky.”

Jangmi’s eyes widened. So much for being nice. “Wait. No.” She stammered. “You’re not cocky. You’re humble. In fact, the humblest person in the group.”

Dino flashed a grin. He had won. “In that case, I won’t hold it against you.” He stepped back into the line.

“I'll choose second place now.”

“You’re saying you’re first?” Hoshi chimed in.

Jangmi groaned. He’d dug his own grave. He would be 14th. No doubt.

Dino scoffed. “Hoshi just can’t accept the truth, can he?” Jangmi, along with the others nodded. Blindly agreeing to whatever Dino was saying.

“You should already know where your place will be.”

Hoshi pouted, muttering something under his breath.

If anyone could make this awful segment somewhat entertaining it would be him.

“And in second place… Coups hyung. You’ve worked hard.”

Seungcheol ran over and jumped into Dino’s arms.

“Congrats!” Jangmi cheered, which he replied to by waving his fists in the air.

“And in third place… For me recently… Wonwoo hyung.”

She politely applauded.

“I consider everyone until sixth to be in the same class as me.” Dino clarified, whilst Seungcheol and Wonwoo jumped happily around him.

“Fourth will be... ehh... Jeonghan hyung.”

“Drag it out a bit more, if possible.” The staff asked from in front of them. “Have bigger reactions.”

Everyone nodded.

Jangmi fiddled with her fingers. The more names Chan was listing, the more she realised she despised this segment.

She knew she’d be getting hate comments either way. Ranked highly and everyone would be talking shit about how Dino lied (which is probably true) and it’s only because she’s a girl, but if she ranked lowly, they would question why she was even in the group.

“Now… for fifth place.” Dino announced.

DK raised his hand up from beside her. “Pick me! Pick me!”

“This hyung is a foreign member.”

DK stopped jumping up and down. “218 bro” he whispered, offering a fist bump to Vernon.

Vernon happily completed it. Well, he looked happy- couldn’t really tell with his mask.

Jangmi looked at Dino, waiting for him to give another clue of who would be chosen next.

“This hyung speaks English.”

“I guess it’s not us then.” Jun teased, elbowing The8 in the stomach.

Jangmi smiled. “He doesn’t think the performance unit is good looking enough.”

“That’s not true.” Chan corrected, pouting at the end of this statement. She smirked. He couldn’t keep up the arrogant facade for a mere 5 minutes. Honestly the team’s baby.

“Really?!” Jun challenged.

Chan glared at him. “Do you really want to question my authority?”

Jun put his hands up in defeat, well aware of the stakes.

“Didn’t think you would.” Chan added coldly.

“Hurry up and announce who’s fifth.” Seungkwan rushed, flapping his hands in front of him.

Dino raised one eyebrow. “Take a break and come back if you’re bored. You’ll be one of the last anyway.”

“Don’t sprout nonsense.” Seungkwan argued. “I’m meant to be in the top ranking, and you know it.”

“Delusional.” Jangmi snidely remarked. She turned to face the camera. “Korean teacher. I used a new word in a sentence. Are you proud?’

Everyone laughed at Jangmi’s sudden shift in mood.

“Actually. Scratch what I said.” Dino spoke up.

“Jangmi’s sixth.”

“Wait what?” Jangmi turned to face him, with a confused look on her face. “Me?”

“Her?” Woozi asked. Equally as shocked.

“Brains are beauty.” Dino explained. “Plus, she roasted Seungkwan.”

Jangmi grinned from ear to ear. “I love you!” She yelled as she ran towards Dino to give him a hug.

“You know he only put you sixth to annoy Seungkwan.” DK teased.

She stuck her tongue out, still hugging Dino. “I can’t hear you from so far down.”

“That’s how I feel when I talk to you.” Mingyu added.

“Yah! This has nothing to do with you.” Jangmi scolded. “Stop trying to get screentime.”

The others agreed, scolding the tallest member.

As Dino continued ranking the remaining members- Joshua was bumped down to sixth after her incredible roasting abilities- Jangmi stayed quiet at the back.

Even though she was still ranked in the A+, she was still sceptical to this task. She didn’t even deserve to be there. She wouldn’t been way lower- probably fighting with BooSoon right now. Luckily, Seungkwans’ loud mouth had allowed her to jump the line, significantly.

“You ok?” Vernon asked, bumping their shoulders together.

She nodded and returned a fake smile. “I’m just tired.”

Vernon leaned closer. “I’m here if you want to tell me the truth.”

“I’m fine. Really.” Jangmi mustered a wider smile. “I’m prettier than you.”

Previous:  Debut

Next: Friendless

[momsopposed2theoccult]

It’s come to my attention that a good majority of people on this website have a really poor understanding of the conflict between Toph and Katara in “The Chase.” As somebody who loves both characters and their friendship, this irritates me. Without further ado, let’s unpack that in what is in theory supposed to be a meta but turned out more like a rant. 

“Katara was hostile towards Toph because the fact that she’s a gender non-conforming girl made Katara uncomfortable because Katara is obsessed with gender roles.”

Alright, so right off the bat this is just... completely idiotic and clearly fuelled by an agenda (and likely also a lot of projection). First of all, how is Katara of “I don’t want to heal, I want to fight!” fame “obsessed with gender roles?” There’s an entire episode in Book One dedicated to Katara refusing to conform to societal norms for women in the Northern Water Tribe! Katara routinely calls Sokka out on his misogynistic bullshit! (Mind you I adore Sokka but he could be a little twerp at times and Katara was 100% right to challenge him on it) Katara is the feminist icon of ATLA! The fact that people act like Katara is some sort of conservative tradwife who loves gender roles instead of the outspoken feminist and political activist she is makes me incredibly angry.

Second of all, Katara was extremely kind and welcoming towards Toph at first. She gently encouraged her to join in with the group as they all set up camp together as opposed to setting up her own private camp. It’s only when Toph refuses to comply with her that Katara begins to get irritated. Mind you, Toph has her reasons for this, something I’ll get to in a minute, but from Katara’s perspective (key word here is perspective) she’s just being an annoying little stubborn, selfish, lazy, anti-social, entitled brat. Of course we the audience find out later that this isn’t the case at all (or at least in theory we should find out later but apparently some people on here skipped that part), but for all her many talents Katara is not a mind reader and has no way of knowing what’s going on inside Toph’s head, nor does she know her well enough yet to fully grasp the context behind why Toph acts the way she does. Katara is somebody who greatly values community and believes in teamwork, so Toph turning down her warm welcome in favour of “carrying her own weight” likely felt like a slap in the face. Not to mention that she’s already emotionally exhausted from having to constantly mother Aang and Sokka. If I were Katara, I likely would have reacted the same way. 

Oh and I agree that the “the stars look beautiful tonight, too bad you can’t see them, Toph” comment was out of line, but it doesn’t make her a horrible person. It makes her a 14 year old, and 14 year olds can be nasty, especially sleep deprived 14 year olds. Katara is otherwise a very kind and compassionate person. Other characters have said worse than that. Hell, Toph herself has said worse than that. That being said, it was a deeply hurtful comment and I do like to imagine that she apologized for it off-screen. 

“Toph is a lazy, entitled, and classist spoiled rich brat who just didn’t want to do chores and expected other people to wait on her.” 

This is another one that makes me roll my eyes and ask if they even watched the show. First of all, the presumption that Toph is a lazy or entitled person is just... laughable. I feel like people forget that Toph isn’t actually an earthbending prodigy in the way that Azula is a firebending prodigy (I could say more about Azula and how her belief that she was the unshakeable prodigal daughter ultimately caused her downfall and how by the end of the series Zuko is arguably a better firebender than her but this isn’t a meta about Azula and Zuko, now is it?). Nah. Toph was a sheltered kid who discovered she had the ability to earthbend, was told that she could never become great at it because she was blind, and in response said FUCK THAT and decided to work her ass off until she was not only great but the very greatest all thanks to her crazy, stupid, off-the-charts nerve, drive, grit, ambition, and desire to prove people wrong about her. Does that sound like a lazy person to you? Believe me when I say that you do not achieve that kind of skill level by sitting around on your ass and expecting to have things handed to you. And entitled? Don’t make me laugh. Toph hates having things handed to her, that’s one of her defining characteristics. 

As for the implication that she’s classist and enjoys basking in her family’s wealth and being waited on...... are you stupid? Did you even watch the show? Toph absolutely despises everything about her parents’ lifestyle. Growing up like that was traumatizing and restrictive for her. We’re talking about a girl who likes to play around in the mud for fuck’s sake. Toph does not care how much money you have. She never wanted any to begin with. She even says it herself; “I guess I shouldn’t be complaining. They gave me everything I could have wanted. But they never gave me what I actually needed - their love.” Not to mention that she easily could have continued to freeload off her parents wealth but instead chose to sneak out of the house and make her own money doing what she did best; disproving people’s assumptions about her earthbending. Oh and I’ve seen someone point this out before but WWE is generally considered a “low brow” activity that “proper” people frown upon and shouldn’t associate themselves with. Toph fucking loved it. I don’t know how seriously people take the comics, as they often miss the mark when it comes to characterization (Toph’s, however, was generally pretty accurate), but there’s a part in The Rift where Sokka asks her when she’s going to start charging people to learn metalbending and she gets all serious and flat out tells him that she will never do such a thing, because money doesn’t matter to her. Sharing her one true passion with the world is what matters to her. Oh and the part where she basically tells a bunch of rich and sleazy businessmen to fuck off and “stop thinking about money and start thinking about people’s lives” is just... *chef’s kiss* Sorry my thoughts here are so incoherent but this take is so piss poor and makes me so angry that I don’t even know where to start. As for “Toph enjoys being waited on” I just- *sigh* Toph has such a visceral and defensive reaction to any implication that she is unable to take care of herself. Like I said earlier, that’s one of her defining characteristics as well as the reason for her behaviour in “The Chase.” Where are people getting these takes?

You wanna know why Toph acted the way she did in The Chase? Well, first let’s recap her life up to this point. Toph was born the blind daughter of one of the wealthiest families in the Earth Kingdom. From day one her parents treated her like glass due to her disability. She was not allowed to leave her house unsupervised, and even then she was only permitted to walk around the gardens of her home. Every day of her life she was pitied, gaslit, babied, ignored, emotionally neglected, and made to feel ashamed of herself. She was not allowed to make any decisions for herself. She was not allowed to do anything for herself. She was not allowed to talk to other children. She had no friends. Other people didn’t even know she existed on account that her parents kept her locked up in her own home and didn’t tell anybody about her because they were so ashamed to have a blind daughter. Flash forward to “The Chase.” Toph begins to set up her own camp separate from the rest of the Gaang. Considering that she flat out was not socialized as a child and hadn’t even interacted with anybody her own age prior to a few days ago, this is understandable. So then Katara comes up to her and asks her why she isn’t setting up camp with the others as if she’s somehow incapable of taking care of herself (again, this is just what happened from her perspective) like she’s her mom or something and it just angers her because she thought she joined this group to get away from all that and she doesn’t understand how friends work because she’s never had one, all she knows is that apparently this girl thinks she isn’t capable of taking care of herself, and that infuriates her because it’s the exact same bullshit she thought she was running away from.

There’s a lot more I could say about this but I’m sick of typing so yeah in conclusion both of these takes are piss poor and I’m sick of having to read them. Stan Toph, Katara, and their friendship. 

[capsironunderoos]

Please, Come Home

DINCEMBER - December 11 - “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”

Din Djarin (The Mandalorian) x Reader

Summary: Din takes a job just before Life Day and wakes up to a message from his family.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: A ~lil~ spice, if you really, really squint... other than that just a really angsty Din Djarin, and sad times spent apart from his cyare.

Author’s Note: I’m slowly catching up on my Dincember prompts! Tomorrow is my last day in the classroom before Christmas break, so I’ll be able to really catch up soon. Again, this is pretty short, but I hope you guys enjoy!

Here’s the previous prompt: DINCEMBER - December 9 - “Let It Snow”

And the link to my masterlist: capsironunderoos masterlist

It’s quiet on the Crest tonight, somber almost. 

Din hasn’t had a moment like this to himself for too many rotations to count, so he sits in the pilot’s seat, the Crest on autopilot, arms crossed and helmet-clad head leaned back onto the headrest as he watches the stars pass by. 

He’s been by himself for a few weeks now, but he doesn’t find the same peace in it that he used to. 

Before you, and the child, he longed for moments spent on his ship, amongst the stars to just… be. 

Now, he finds more peace when he’s sitting in his cabin with you and the child, snuggled up on the couch and under blankets as you quietly read aloud. 

Over the past few months, Din had started to take less odd jobs. You’d both been saving credits for awhile so that the two of you could take a break, spend some time with Grogu, and see a little bit more of the galaxy. 

This was his last big job for awhile, and he’d been tasked to hunt down a prince who had made a run for it during the middle of his own wedding ceremony. 

Din had wanted to turn it down at first, because he hadn’t been presented with any leads or a tracking fob, and he knew that the job posed the possibility of running into his family’s Life Day celebrations. 

You had encouraged him to take it, though, telling him that as soon as he returned you would have the bags packed and the three of you could embark on your adventure. 

Plus, the reward for the safe return of the prince had been very steep, and neither of you could think of a reason to pass that up. 

Over the weeks you’d been separated, Din had been receiving and sending holograms to you and the child. 

Some of them were silly, as you were often interrupted by Grogu impatiently jumping into the hologram to show his papa a new drawing he had made, or to model a new robe you had bought for him in the small marketplace just below the cabin. 

Some of the holograms were short but sweet, consisting of you giving Din a brief recap of your day, or of Din telling you good morning and that he loved you. 

Others were reserved for late, dark nights on the Crest, when Din missed you so much that he was forced to work with the videos you sent specifically for his eyes only. 

There were also one or two transmissions that he hated to think about. 

You had sent one to him late one night as he slept, when he knew you should have been resting as well, crying silently in your shared bedroom. You told him how much you missed him, how hard your day had been, and how all you wanted was to crawl into bed beside him and have him tell you everything would be okay. 

When he watched the message the next morning he found himself crying as well, finally acknowledging the fact that being apart for so long was taking its toll on the both of you. 

Unfortunately, he was unsure as to how much longer he would need to be away before he could return home, and just as he had suspected, Life Day had arrived in the blink of an eye. 

So, he sits now, in the pilot’s seat of the Crest, watching the stars as he awaits your transmission. 

He knows there is one coming, because Grogu will beg to show Din the new toys he had opened up, as if you and Din hadn’t been the ones to buy them. 

He smiles at the thought, knowing that he is waiting solely because you decided to spoil the child this Life Day, as if he wasn’t already spoiled enough. 

It would take at least an hour for him to open all of his presents, if not longer. 

Din finds himself laughing at the thought of Grogu becoming more enamored with the wrapping paper than the toy itself, as he had done in the past, and he can see the frustration, and love, written on your face as a result. 

At that thought, he feels a soft pang in his chest. 

He wants nothing more than to be there with you, sitting on the floor as your back rests against his chest, the both of you smiling at your kid as he has the time of his life. 

Din can almost feel the warmth radiating from the fireplace, and he can almost smell the fresh pine decorations and the Hoth chocolate you’ve made. 

Before he is granted the opportunity to slip further into his daydream, his console lights up with the familiar reminder that he has received a hologram. 

Din wastes no time in sitting up in his seat and clicking the button for the message to play. 

Suddenly, you are projected before him, the child in your lap as you both seem to look right at him. 

“Hello my love!” 

You call out, and he chuckles as Grogu squeals out a greeting as well. 

“We have officially opened up most of our presents, haven’t we?” 

You ask the child sitting in your lap, and he laughs at the way you make your voice sound funny when you ask him your question. 

“Of course we saved some for when you return, Din. I want you to see him when he opens his presents, okay? I want you to have those memories too.” 

Your voice wavers as you address him, and Din resituates himself in his seat to keep himself from focusing on the longing in your voice. You clear your throat and he is pulled back into the moment. 

“Okay, Grogu, show your papa your favorite gift,” at your words, the child lifts a stuffed animal from under his robe, proudly holding it out to the hologram. 

You laugh and so does Din. 

Grogu is obviously very proud to be showing his dad his new toy, which just so happens to be in the shape of a Sorgan frog. 

“Okay, now go get what I told you about,” you request through your laughter, and Grogu is quick to drop the toy in your lap and scramble down to run out of the frame. 

When he disappears you continue to watch him, to make sure he is executing whatever plan the two of you had concocted correctly. 

Din takes the opportunity to observe you for a moment. 

He notes that your hair has gotten longer, and that your smile still makes his insides weak. 

He also notices the way you fold your hands together in your lap to rest atop Grogu’s toy, and he thinks about how he would give anything to be sitting with you, holding your hands and pressing each knuckle to his mouth as you both wait on the kid to return. 

He thinks about how you would smile up at him, and how you would plant a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, just out of sight from Grogu. 

“You got it?” You question, and his thoughts return back to the hologram. 

Grogu babbles a response, and Din notices that he is pushing a box into the frame. 

When he is satisfied that the box is where it needs to be, he turns to you for confirmation. You nod excitedly at him and he scrambles back into your lap, his small eyes and ears just barely visible over the top of the present. 

“We have something for you to open up too, so we need you to come home soon.” 

Din can’t seem to focus on the present clearly meant for him, as all he can see are the tears that have begun making their way down your face. 

“Please come home, Din. We miss you. I miss you. I’m not sure how much longer…” 

Your voice trails off when the kid looks up at you as a result of the sudden quiver in your voice. 

“Tell papa goodbye, Happy Life Day, and that you love him,” you prompt, and Grogu manages to string together a couple of coos before he scrambles back out of your lap to go play with his new presents. 

“Seriously, Din, I miss you. Please come home soon, I cannot stand loving you from afar. And I do, I love you across any expanse in the galaxy, but I want to love you here, in our home. I see how hard you’re working to provide for both me and Grogu, but I want you here to experience that life you make with us.” 

You fall quiet for a moment as you ponder your words. 

“I love you, Din Djarin, and I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. Happy Life Day.” 

With that, you blow a kiss into the hologram and the transmission stops. 

Din presses the correct buttons to stop the projection and to archive the transmission before he begins setting up his space to send his own. 

As the Crest prepares the proper technology, Din begins to talk to you as if you were there. 

“I am coming home soon, cyare. I will not rest until I hold you in my arms once more.”

Here’s the next prompt for Dincember: DINCEMBER - December 14 - Cold

[pebblysand]

[THOUGHTS ON PEAKY BLINDERS, EPISODE 3 - SERIES 6, “GOLD”]

obviously, spoilers ahead. as a quick disclaimer however, i would like to state that the views expressed below might have been impacted by the following:

i couldn’t watch the episode before monday afternoon due to life circumstances and by then, my neighbours decided to drill holes into our shared wall whilst i was watching, so i had to pause the show a number of times to wait for the noise to end. as such, it was kind of harder getting into the “zone” and i wasn’t as emotionally involved with the episode as i would have liked to be.

due to the above, i also got annoyed about ten minutes into watching the episode at having to wait further to find out what happened to ruby, and spoiled myself on the ending with a quick and desperate google search. in retrospect, i probably shouldn’t have done it because it totally killed the suspense and probably changed the way i experienced certain scenes. it is what it is, though, and i just thought i’d put this out there.

now, here are my thoughts. i’ve organised this post a bit differently this time around because i feel like there was a lot to discuss in terms of themes/questions raised. if you missed my recaps of the previous episodes, see ep1 and ep2.

GENERAL THOUGHTS:

somewhere between last week and this week, i noticed that tommy’s hair is much longer at the sides, this series, than in the past. obviously this is significant, but i’m not sure in what way. is it just him distancing himself from his working class roots? you would think it would be a good electoral argument but who knows?

did anyone else notice how, when the x-ray machine flashes in tommy’s face at the hospital, it projects onto the wall behind him the same sun pattern as the tattoo on his chest? i thought that was so well done. it’s also his oldest tattoo which he’s had since s1, so i thought that was very interesting.

i mentioned last week the diegetic train sounds we now hear at the garrison, which didn’t exist previously. i stupidly said, back then, that i wondered what that was about, then wanted to punch myself in the face the moment i posted because of course, the meaning behind it immediately hit me after clicking “publish”. they’re obviously a nod to the nazi trains and death camps that we know are coming in history, and i would like to publicly apologise to whoever is the peaky blinders sound designer for being a Fucking Idiot and not understanding the depth of their brilliance before 🙄.

this episode (and this series in general) has had a lot of “back to the roots” vibes. tommy riding bareback, the garrison - i know this might shock some of you but sometimes i do wish they were a tad more subtle? like, this is the last series, We Get It. do we really need to revisit every trope/location/character in the universe lol?

whilst i generally thought the whole scene with ada, mosley, mitford, and the americans was absolutely fantastic (more on that below), i do feel like it felt “empty” and “meaningless” compared to the angst that tommy was going through. it was great comic relief, but did we really need comic relief at that point? it felt - to me - like the constant back and forth was trying to pull me away from tommy’s struggles, then pull me back in, then away again… this may have been because i spoiled myself with the end, but i couldn’t bring myself to truly care about both at the same time. all i could think about was ruby and i felt like it was a bit of a “waste” of an otherwise thrilling scene with the rest of the cast.

generally, i’m not sure if anyone else on here was also around back then, but this series is very much giving me the same feels i had watching s3. the darkness and hopelessness of grief, tommy’s guilt, the ‘curse’ (more on that below)... i remember coming halfway through s3 and wondering 1) how on earth are they going to wrap this up in three hours and 2), how on earth do we come out of this without him just killing himself and a fade to black? they ended up pulling it off in s3 but mid-series, i remember the show feeling very directionless, and that is also how i feel now. i’m a deep believer in the fact that pb is a much better binge watch than it is a weekly watch (imo, this show is a 6-hour film, rather than a 6-episode series), and i feel like this fact will be confirmed yet again. i am ultimately confident in stephen knight’s ability to pull us out of this rut considering his form but at this point, i can’t see a way out of this plotline that gives us a sense of closure on the show, in just three episodes. i am hoping to be surprised.

additionally, scenaristically, i can’t see what could be gained from ruby’s death in terms of character development for tommy. we’ve grown so accustomed with his grief throughout the last six series, will the death of a child really change much? and if sol, in what way? may carleton once said: ‘you’ve lost your brother, your wife, but nothing changes you.’ i think that’s very true, and i actually doubt tommy will deal with this death any differently from the ones before it. at the moment, i’m just very nervous and fear that ruby was just sacrificed on the altar of stephen knight wanting to Make a Point (see below), and i honestly can’t see how we’re going to come out of it by bringing a new and interesting resolution, in terms of character arc. i’m not necessarily a big believer in the redemption!tommy arc, but the show needs to be at least going somewhere.

the only way out of this that i can see is tommy figuring out the “limitations” of his power aren’t people (finding the man he can’t defeat), but just things that no one can change, like illness. tommy is very much a “doer,” someone who needs to act and change his world (or at least do his best to do so). but there are certain things in life you have to let go, that you just cannot control, and that just aren’t your responsibility. i wonder if this is where the show is going: him figuring out that whilst he could have been present at ruby’s side, there was just nothing he could have done to change it, and accepting that he just can’t control everything. food for thought i suppose :).

ON TOMMY’S (MENTAL) HEALTH:

to start at the beginning of the episode, i think one of the (many) scenes that will remain permanently stuck in my head is that whole scene between lizzie, tommy and the doctors at the hospital. the “kicking the crate” scene. i will admit that it’s sometimes so hard to even talk about those scenes in pb, because they are just so poignant and raw that finding the words to discuss is daunting. i personally loved the way lizzie was the only one who managed to “tame” both the violence that tommy expressed, but also the violence in his head. i think, for a lot of the episode (and a lot of this season), even before ruby’s loss, it’s slowly felt like tommy has been losing touch with reality and his general mental health. this week, you cannot imagine how many times i wrote down in my notes: ‘is tommy okay? does he have a brain tumour? he sounds crazy,’ etc. (which, btw, i mean we have grown to take cillian murphy’s acting for granted lads but what a masterclass 🤯 ).

you obviously could argue that ruby’s illness is making him this way, but i believe it may be a deeper issue. we’ve seen tommy a number of times (including before he found out about ruby’s illness), just talking to himself, talking to polly, to his mother, etc. i was chatting about it all with the lovely @uncontainedhybrid yesterday and noting how strangely, tommy almost seemed saner when he wasn’t sober. @uncontainedhybrid very cleverly pointed out that in a world without proper psychiatric care/medication, the alcohol/drugs might actually have made him more functional, ironically, than no “medication” at all. i think that’s highly correct and also reflected by that short period of time in s4 when tommy took a “holiday” and where all of his demons caught up with him. mostly i just wish someone would give him a hug.

i also thought it very interesting that lizzie told the hospital staff, out loud in front of tommy, that her husband was “recovering from addiction.” it’s never really been acknowledged as bluntly before, and i thought it fascinating that tommy doesn’t even dispute it, especially considering that he would be the kind of person who would definitely see addiction as a weakness, and is also the kind of person who doesn’t want his weaknesses exposed. it really makes me wonder what the exact context was for him getting sober, and whether or not he went off cold turkey. i love his relationship with lizzie because again, they’re both probably terrible for one another as a romantic pairing, but they are good friends and he definitely trusts her.

i also wonder if we’ll ever hear again from those x-ray results. i know i’m not the only one saying this but there does seem to be an open question as to whether tommy might have a medical issue beyond his latent ptsd, especially given the seizures from last week.

there were a lot of great quotes this week but ada justifying his emotional struggles by him being “a character in a novel,” was probably the truest, most meta, quote in this season. it’s going to be one of those pb quotes that i can never get out of my head, like “the boy who’s broken in through the window” and “it’s just myself talking to myself about myself.” stephen knight is such a brilliant writer - i know we’re still in the midst of peaky but i also cannot wait to see/read what he will come up with next.

ON “BUSINESS”:

as i said before, generally speaking, i felt that while this part was interesting, the way the “business” was cutting through the intensity of the ruby plot kind of had me annoyed. this being said, ada is a fucking queen and the person for whom i would become gay without question, 100%. i know she is fictional but my girlcrush will accept no limitations, so keep your objections to yourselves 😆. she is also the only person who can wear a pantsuit in 1933 and a whole dead raccoon on her shoulder, with class and dignity. i fucking love ada. (i also loved how tommy put her in charge, although it broke my heart as the second in command was obviously always polly).

i thought the reminder that peaky blinders are gipsies and thus, part of one of the populations most targeted by nazi ideology very welcome. it was something that i’ve been thinking about constantly since last season and it was great to finally have diana and ada acknowledge it.

diana & mosley are 🙄, but as the bbc peaky blinders podcast i listen to acknowledged this week, it was interesting to see how much diana outshined mosley in this episode. next to the fear and disgust she elicited, he almost seemed small and immaterial. she felt cringey, terrifying, and completely unhinged all at the same time, and it was so interesting to meet someone who gave me the “ick” even more than mosley.

gina is so chaotic and i low-key love it.

ada killed me with this quote: “my husband died but of course we speak often.” i generally loved that she was the least “scary” of them all and she gave no shit. i want to be ada when i grow up.

i thought it was interesting that gina said ada was “the smart one” of the family. i think it is very significant that this is not tommy anymore.

“it’s amazing what english upper class women can do with skin, bone and arrogance.” aside from the brilliance of this quote, how american of jack nelson to call ada “upper class” just because she has money.

isiah is fucking 🥵, i just have to say it. this guy had a neville-longbottom level of glow-up in the past few years.

arthur. this whole scene just made me cringe so hard. i wonder what tommy will do when he finds out ada called off the black star hit on the lad they were supposed to kill.

ON MODERN MEDICINE, COVID, GYPSY CURSES, AND TUBERCULOSIS:

now, at the outset, let me state for the record that it does not bring me any joy to say that i predicted where the discussion on ruby’s illness was going, especially considering how it ended. this being said, i won’t lie - it is, to me, the most interesting part of this episode. i’ve been trying to organise my thoughts on this issue since last night, i will try to discuss everything, but i will probably only scratch the surface.

first off, when i got the anon asking about ruby dying from consumption last week, it didn’t even occur to me how current the debate would actually be. i saw the witchcraft v. modern medicine debate come in, but the parallel with covid only hit me when the “mask” comparison was drawn, in universe. following helen mcrory’s illness, the series was obviously re-written, and that would have been in the midst of the pandemic, at the same time where people claimed not to “believe” in covid, masks, vaccines, etc. it is obviously a very current problem and i love that they brought it into the show.

generally, i specifically loved that it was tommy, not lizzie, who lost his head in this episode. he’s always been the most rational, logical, intelligent character of the show and regardless of what we think of the curse, i think we can all agree that he did not act in the most calculated, rational manner this week. i thought the idea that “this could happen to anybody” when faced with a medical emergency, rather than just curtailing the belief in “alternative medicine” to “crazy people” was a very clever way to do this.

now, i think we can obviously all have a debate on whether or not, in universe, the curse exists. personally, i believe that stephen knight is trying to tell us it doesn’t. i may be completely wrong about this, but i think there is enough evidence that points in that direction. for example:

tommy never truly believed in the original curse. he needed something to alleviate his guilt, which he very consciously sought out and obtained. madam boswell would not have taken on a necklace she believed was cursed from him and would not have passed it on to a member of her family. i don’t think the statement of fact “all religion is is a foolish answer to a foolish question” is to be overruled here. to the contrary, it only highlights tommy desperation and “foolishness” in where he is trying to find his answers.

you could potentially argue that even if the necklace wasn’t cursed, the gipsies in the camp thought it was and this could have laid their curses regardless but even then, maybe i’m being too rational here but i’m finding it hard to believe.

even esme tries to not-so-subtly steer him away from the “witchcraft” telling him that he should believe in doctors, and asking what on earth he’s doing in a gypsy camp when his daughter is in hospital. it is only when tommy refuses to see reason that she takes him to the graveyard and hands the story of the little girl over. she is doing exactly what madam boswell did in s3 by a) providing him with a curse he can hang on to and cope with better than the alternative (in s3, that he caused grace’s death, and here that ruby’s illness is an incurable case of the most common disease of the times which he can do nothing about), and b) trying to profit from his anguish. i am sorry to say this but madam boswell took that necklace for the cash (even tommy seemed to know that) and esme was very quick to ask for cash as well, to take him to the graveyard, then to the woman who supposedly set the curse on him. she has a long standing grudge against tommy, could very well tell he was losing his mind. knowing esme’s character, it is so unlikely that she would not be trying to profit from the situation, i cannot possibly see it any other way. lastly, esme knows about the necklace, was present when grace dies, and knows how much of tommy’s anguish stems from that original sin & guilt. it is oddly convenient that the root of this whole curse is grace’s death, especially linking to her in tommy’s head a child who isn’t hers.

i think the fact that ruby died alone, from tb, is very clearly aimed to tell us that all of tommy did was for nothing, because again, there are things you just can’t control. saying the curse is real makes it so that he could have done something about it, like stupidly build a monument to pay the woman off, which is imo, not the ultimate point this series is trying to make (see last bullet point of the “general thoughts” section).

ultimately, i can’t see stephen knight trying - considering the current climate - to convince us that alternative medicine is a thing. objectively speaking, if you say ruby died from a curse that could have been lifted by magic, that is the show metaphorically signing up to the essential oils that cure cancer bullshit. i can’t really see the show going that way.

this being said, to my original point, i think what really matters is what tommy will ultimately believe. whether or not the curse objectively exists in universe v. whether tommy will believe it does are very different questions. my position remains the same as to the consequences of both, so if you haven’t feel free to read the ask. imo, the only way out of this is for him to understand that there was nothing he could have done to prevent ruby’s death. i think in a way, as lizzie points out, wants an excuse to blame himself because at least this could be explainable. tommy realising and accepting that there was no curse and that sometimes you just can't control everything and/or save everyone (think also of helen mccrory, unfortunately), is a much more powerful message than anything a curse could provide. if you believe there was a curse, then you just end up in the same spiral of guilt we’ve been in since grace, john and lately polly died, which might happen, but which imo is not really a good plot. again, he’s tried suicide and it didn’t work, and i can’t see any other way out of this.

now aside from the above, i also noted from those scenes:

“i’m the elder and more terrible” was a good quote because he honestly isn’t all that terrible anymore, is he? no longer has eyes at the back of his head.

“all he wants to do is fight people and blame himself and i’ve never felt so ashamed of him” - man, lizzie, this was so good because i think we were all a bit ashamed of tommy in those scenes (at least i was) and while this really hurt as a sentence, i couldn’t help but agree.

the fact that only women can lay curses is an interesting bit of information. esp. regarding the theories that michael was responsible for the curse.

“do you have whisky?” - ah tommy please don’t start drinking again.

ON TOMMY, THE KIDS, AND THE LAST SCENE:

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again, tommy’s relationship to his children and fatherhood in general is absolutely fascinating. you can’t say he doesn’t care about his children, they’re clearly the most important thing in his life, but he doesn’t seem to know how to express that love either. like a lot of men at the time (and to a certain extent, still today), he is incredibly stunted and unable to be emotionally available for those he loves. beyond the heart-wrenching end scene (which i’ll address down below), i think he generally is more present than men were at the time (“doesn’t he have a wife?” to care for his sick child 🙄), but you also can’t really say he’s a “good” father by today’s standards either. he seems to constantly go hot and cold. very present in charles’s early life, hardly present now at all. clearly sick with worry regarding ruby’s illness, although last season lizzie said ruby was “scared” of tommy. he is also clearly extremely action oriented, so just sitting there at his daughter’s side not “doing” anything would have been unimaginable to him. just bare emotional support is something he is absolutely incapable of offering, but is also something he, himself, kind of craves. i did think it was very interesting how ada explained tommy’s absence in the meeting to care for his daughter as a “lower class” thing. i think ada is much better at accepting her roots than tommy ever was.

but then, sometimes, tommy shines through. when, outside of the hospital, lizzie starts crying about ruby’s chances of survival and he suddenly spontaneously takes her in his arms. it’s short lived, but was oh-so-touching.

that last scene was a masterclass in acting and tommy’s face when he finds out was just… i’m still crying over it. beyond all the theorising and the curse debate, them losing a child to such a devastating illness that killed so many in those days is an absolute tragedy and my heart aches for them both. 🥺🥺

okay, i’ll stop here because this post is way too long but please, if you have any thoughts/comments, feel free to share them. i cannot wait to stop thinking/talking about this episode if i’m honest.