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laketaj24 · 4 years ago

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Serotonin II

Author’s Note: Here it is! I am taking requests, and the taglist is open, drop your name under this fic or on this list if you are interested! This does have a prior part but can be read as a standalone.

Pairing: Colson Baker x Reader

Warning: Smut, breeding kink

Inspo Song: Bad Things

Part I

My MASTERLIST

Colson: Busy?

Y/N: Why would I be busy?

Colson: For sure ain’t been answering my texts 🥱

Y/N: You need something, Col?

Colson: You know you only call me Col when you’re half asleep or whimpering my name when you about to cum. Let me come over.

Tongue-tied, his messages left you baffled. They were a smooth variation of sexting mixed with pleading. Every message included a very Colson apology but a rebuttal that followed and reminded you why you couldn’t fall back in the same routine with him. It was easy to picture yourself back with him, nestled against his lean frame - listening to his voice as it rumbled against his chest as he rambled on. You saw it clear as day, but the truth of the matter was he didn’t do what you required to have you back in his life. Fucking you in the bathroom of some club like a whore, giving your body a fix, but your heart and mind still felt that hesitation when it came to Mr. Baker.

“Are you listening?” Dana asked, holding up the soy powder milk for your nephew.

“I heard you clear as day.”

“You sure you didn’t just daydream the entire I talked about not feeding Jaylen after seven?” Dana placed the soy milk on the table and glanced down at her newborn. “If you’re not up to it, I can stay. I hate going out of town so soon after having him.” She tapped her soon on the back a few times and exhaled.

“We will be fine.”

“You say this, but I don’t believe you.”

“Why?”

“You’re head has been shot ever since you broke up with the delinquent.” She rolled her eyes. “And what pisses me off is Tyla loves him!” She whispered and turned her attention to the seven-year-old parked in front of the tv. “I mean worships him.”

“I know. Colson is good with kids.”

“Because he’s childish.” She added. “He’s basically a six variant of one.”

“You can’t say one thing nice?”

“His music isn’t shitty,” Dana added. “I will be back at eight for the both of them, and I swear not to do this again, just my boss needs me, and their dad is busy.” She lied. “So- I love you, sis. Call Eric!” Dana kissed your cheek and sprinted out the door without another word.

Eric, you hadn’t seen him since you left the club a week ago, and you barely responded to his texts. The ride home was awkward; the entire time, he talked about how much he enjoyed the night. And the only thing you could think about was getting bent over in the bathroom by your ex. Good date.

Auntie duty had started. Diapers, Tiktok, YouTube, and some weird pig cartoon lay ahead of you for the next nine hours. Jaylen slept peacefully in his playpen, unbothered by his mother's lack while Tyla consumed her tv.

Colson: I got food open the door.

Y/N: What door?

Colson: Your apartment door. It’s Chipotle.

Fuck, you were hungry.

Y/N: Leave the food on the porch.

Colson: I’m not a god damn door dash.

The abrupt knocking startled Jaylen, soo you took him in your arms and walked to the door, “Stay in the living room Tyla.”

“K,” She answered, not even looking up from her phone.

You opened the door revealing Colson in his pink hoodie and gray joggers. He held bags of food in his hand and garnished a big smile on his face, “You look good with a baby.”

“Why are you here?”

“You wouldn’t come to see me or invite me over, so invited myself over. Can I come in?”

“No.” Jaylen stirred in your arms, his plump little legs kicked, and you sighed. “I am busy today. That’s why I didn’t invite you over. I have to keep my nieces and nephews, and every time you are over here, you either curse too much or we end up fucking.”

“Watch your mouth.” He teased.

“How were you texting with all that in your hands?” You stared at him.

“You know I got talented hands.”

“Colson!”

Why? You grimaced inwardly before looking at your overly excited niece, she loved Colson, and you hated to admit, he might be an asshole sometimes, but he loved kids. He was a wonder with them. You slapped your face, disappointed there was not a way to hide the massive man at your door. “He can’t stay.” You answered before the question left your lips.

“Why? Please!” Tyla pouted her pink lips and threw her arms up in defeat. “We never see him anymore.”

“That’s your aunt’s fault,” Colson added fuel to the fire. “I won’t stay long.” He pushed through, entering your apartment to greet Tyla with a hug at her level and a sly wink to you. Kids were the way to your heart – and his, but he would not win you over with this bullshit today. Not at all. “You hungry, Tyla?”

“Yeah, ten minutes, and you’re out.”

“Damn.”

“Tiktok?’ she held up her phone and the ring light from her purple book bag. “Please.”

“Word, what are we learning?” He raised his brows to you and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the couch; she was ecstatic, immediately standing to do a dance and drag you over to learn it too. Tiktok had become the bane of your existence, but for Tyla and her half a million followers, she was golden.

One hour later and you were tired, you’d perfected the dance, and Colson had convinced her to let him skip the dancing and just be—it was all he had to do though, she’d get one million views just because of who he was, and now everyone would know you were with him. Your heart dropped a little thinking about the exposure while she edited the video next to both of you.

“Why is Uncle Colson never around?” Tyla never looked up from her phone; she just continued her mission of posting that sixty-second video and ruining your life.

“He’s not your uncle.” You corrected.

“That’s your aunt’s fault too.” He added.

“Don’t start with me.” The harsh whisper came out as a warning, waking baby Jaylen from his nap and making Colson chuckle in amusement.

“I like him; I want him in the family.”

“I want a million dollars.”

“I can give you that.” He said.

“And a loyal boyfriend who doesn’t text insta-sluts in his spare time.”

“Don’t use sluts in front of her damn; your mouth is outrageous Y/N.”

The narrowing of your eyes made him burst into laughter again. He was damn good at annoying you like he had it mastered.

The day passed quickly with him making eyes at you, caring for Jaylen while she styled Colson’s hair in four ponytails atop his head, garnished with bows, and she even attempted to give him edges. He didn’t care; as long as she was happy, he was good.

“You look a mess.”

“It’s cool.” Colson snapped a picture. “Been waiting forever to see if ponytail was for me or not; it’s a no.” He sat back on the couch while Tyla disappeared to your room for god knows what else. “You look good with babies, you know?”

“You’ve said that.”

“I meant it; you’re good with them too.” He sighed. “I thought about kids with us, like every damn day.”

“Funny.” You shrugged, and she appeared with your bright pink polish. “What’re you doing, Tyla?”

“Painting his nails.” She plopped down in front of him, and without hesitation, he held his hand out for her. “We did blue last time.”

“Yep.” He exhaled. “Don’t you want this?”

He didn’t have to elaborate; you knew what he was talking about, but a family was the last thing from your mind, no matter how perfect the scenario looked right now. “Do you?”

Colson smacked his lips. “We can talk later.”

“You leaving when they do.” You reiterated.

The door opened thirty minutes later without a knock or doorbell; Dana never announced herself. “I see he found his way back in.” Her mouth dropped as soon as her eyes met him. “Tyla just had her way today, didn’t she.” She laughed. “Oh god, she gave this man braids.”

“Your daughter is talented.” He laughed. “Might be a new look.”

“Ridiculous.” She held her laughter. “Ty, get up and come on, love; we have a long drive.” She took Jaylen from your chest and gave you a look. “How long is he staying?”

“Not long, sis, drive safe.”

“I will. Colson, you leave in ten minutes, or I’m sending our brother over.” She pointed to him.

“I’m not scared of Michael; send him.” Why did his arrogance only make you want him more? He looked to Dana, who, like him, was not bothered.

“I hate him.” She mumbled as she left. “I just fucking hate him.”

“It’s mutual!” Colson laughed as the door shut. “You’re gonna stay over there the whole time?”

“Aint no reason for me to be over there for real.” You thought of three reasons to stay where you were, the drop in his voice, the tension in this room that could be cut with a knife, and when he was alone with you, your willpower was nonexistent. “You have five minutes.”

“We aren’t going to talk about this, are we? You like being evasive and shit? That you’re new persona?”

“I have no new persona. This is me not playing into all the bullshit you bring when you’re with me. This is a wall.”

“I’m about to knock that wall over.” He smirked.

“Stay on your couch.” You warned.

Colson held his hands up, acting defenseless, “I wasn’t moving from this spot.”

“My sister hates you, you know that? She literally said that I would be better off leaving Cali before staying here with your toxic ass.” You found yourself pointing at him and wanting to knock that smile from his face. Colson liked to see you get feisty with him; he called that foreplay, and here you were dancing to the beat of his drum, pissed.

“How am I toxic? I stopped all that shit for you, every ounce of it.”

“Stop lying.”

Colson grinned at you, unwavering in his position and impressed that you were persistent in yours; your usual fights lasted about one day. You’d take him back, and everything went back to how it was before, but that changed nothing; you wanted him to change. “I am not lying to you. Come here.”

You walked over to him, taking his hand and allowing him to pull you down in his lap. Facing him, you admired all the little cuts he’d earned over the years in senseless fights or accidents. Your fingers traced over them before you cupped his face. What the fuck were you doing? Why were the two of you akin to magnets? Drawing one another in half of the time and then at the flip of a side hating one another? You placed your lips on him, parting his lips with your tongue and then flicking playfully over his teeth before he caught your bottom lip with his teeth and tugged. The slight pressure made you moan against him. He cradled your neck with one hand, not allowing you to escape him. Colson deepened the kiss, adding pressure and taking what little breath you had away. “I fucking miss you, Y/N.” He rasped.

"Don't talk.”You murmured back.

Colson didn’t listen; he never listened. “You were good with them today.”

You growled, grinding your hips on him. “Shut up, Colson.”

“I want to talk to you, I want you back Y/N, shit. Like I am trying, I canceled recording sessions, appearances, and other shit all this month so we can figure this out. I don’t want to-,”

You stopped him from talking, gripping his cock through the sweats with one hand and kissing him to shut up.

“Stop.” In one fluid motion, your hands were by your side, and your eyes were on his, “We’re talking; I was not fucking other women. But I was entertaining them, and it’s no excuse. I know you’re hurt; I’m sorry. Like real talk, no joke – I apologize.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?’

“I'll delete all this shit for you,” He admitted. “Fuck a platform.”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I’m dead ass right now. Fuck it all. I just want you.”

“If it happens again, I am never taking you back, ever.”

“It won’t.” He whispered, loosening the grip on your hands.

You took advantage of the notion, moving your hand down to his cock, rubbing the hilt through his sweats again.

“Nah,” He gripped your hair, pulling you back, so your eyes met him. “It’s my turn now.” He pushed aside your shorts in seconds, and his fingers plunged into your pussy, curling for a moment and then spinning out of you. He placed his fingers on your lips, “Open up.” You didn’t hesitate to take his fingers, licking your own juices from them, and he tapped your face sending a slight pleasurable sting. “How you taste?”

“Ready.” You pulled him from the sweats feeling him jump at your cool hands, and stood up, wriggling out of the shorts before hovering back over him again.

Colson playfully tosses you on your couch, draping one leg to the ground. “Let me taste.” He whispered as he descended between your legs. Colson’s fingers brushed your swollen clit, before his lips latched on, sucking. You bowed from the couch, the moans and scratched to his shoulders done nothing but encourage. He lapped up your juices before diving his tongue into you and swirling around. You gasped, surprised and pleased as he worked.

“Col-“ You gripped his shoulders, lifting yourself from laying down, and he took full advantage, pulling you onto his face and fucking you with his tongue. Your body coiled, the jolts of pleasure popped around your body, and then you came. The white-hot energy surged through your body, and you panted, shaking, almost collapsing back on the couch. He caught you peppering the wet kisses from your pussy to your mouth.

“You good?”

“Better than.” You whispered, breathing heavily. “ Shit.”

“We’re not done.” Of course, you weren’t; his cock throbbed against his leg, waiting to ruin your life, and here you were still out of breath. Colson gently pulled you from the couch, sitting you in his lap, and he started once again with the kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips, and for some reason, that just made you wetter for him. He took advantage of stroking himself before he lowered you down on him. You took every inch, mouth slightly open and hair swinging the entire time. You pressed your breast against his chest, savoring the warm feeling of his cock inside of you, and then you started moving on him. Your muscles clenched around, gripping him with each stroke. Your clit rubbed against his pelvic bone; you took that added pleasure in stride biting your lip as it intensified every time your skin met.

Colson’s eyes were hooked on you, his fingers dug in your ass, guiding you up and down on his cock, urging you to keep going, and there was no way in hell you were going to stop. You could feel it building once again, this time bigger. “Hold it.” He whispered, knowing you were about once more. “Not yet.”

“Ah,” Impatience grew over you; you slowed your ride, winding your hips slowly, your eyes closed as you took over, fucking up into you, guiding your body to take more. “I can’t.” You whined as you fought to hold the orgasm back.

“Yeah, you can.” He slammed into you harder, knocking the breath from you, your toes curled, and you screamed as you shook against him. “I wanna feel that pussy shake around me when I cum; hold it.” He slapped your clit with three fingers, and your breath hitched. “Hold it.” His hand travels up your shirt to your bare stomach, and he kisses you once more. “Y/N.” His hips rocked slowly, but then he started to fuck you quicker, the tip of his dick hitting your g-spot each time. You were a screaming mess, biting down on his shoulder. That done the trick he spasms against you growling. His warm cum triggered you. You came, sinking down and taking all of it. “Shit, you cheated.”

“You would’ve lasted forever.” You smiled lazily.

“Is that a complaint or a compliment?”

“Both.”

You wince, sliding off him, “right.” He rolled his eyes. “Now we gotta eat reheated Chipotle.” he stood up, fixing his pants. “Can I stay?”

“I guess.” You pulled the blanket over you, snuggling into your favorite place on the couch. He heads into the kitchen, and you reach for your phone, wondering what threat your sister had for you.

Meg: Are you still coming tonight?

This was not your phone; of course, it wasn’t. You unlocked the phone, clicking her name to look at the messages. But there is only red as Colson makes his way back into the living room. You throw the phone across the room, hitting the wall, and he stares at you. “What the fuck?”

“Take you and that Chipotle and get out.”

“Damn, what the Chipotle do?”

A/N: One more part coming. I’ll drop it next week, I think! Thank yall for reading! Let me know what you think!!

Taglist: @taytayize123 @ctrlszn @supernaturalvikingwhore @jae-writes-fanfiction @bigsisbria @placeoffreedom @kyla-queen @missdforever @gottatoxicattitude @bang-kim-bap @msreshel @blowmymbackout @titty-teetee @strawberry-skyes @mauvecherie @savageiz @bang-kim-bap @luci-her @littlelovebug98 @babyboy-cody @hellshedevil @daddyavesxx @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf

commenters from serotnin who might be interested: @mgkmerchstyles @mayaslifeinabox

#laketa j writes #colson baker x black reader #colson baker fics #colson baker x reader #colson baker #mgk #machine gun kelly x black reader #machine gun Kelly

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grassykitchenfloor · 4 years ago

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Haikyu Boys with S/O Headcannons

Kenma

- When I tell you this boy adores you I MEAN IT

- He likes to have you both bundled up in a blanket next to eachother when he’s playing on his game

- He keeps a picture of you in his phone case (Lev makes fun of him for it before getting a kick from Yaku:))

- When you show up to his volleyball games he can become distracted at first when setting but then focuses back into his game because he wants to be good for you

- You made him a bracelet once and now he wears it all. the. time.

- He likes holding hands but not when other people are around but also wants to make sure you’re okay with it first

Bokuto

- We all already know how endearing he would be with his S/O so let’s go

- If you are at his practice matches he will HAVE you be near to the bench (if safe) so that you can see up close how cool he is (he did a cool spike once and when you cheered he ran off the court to hug you for like 30 seconds before the coach got mad and made him go back out)

- WHen he was tired one night he let you dye his hair and he liked the way you did it so much so he has you do it for him now

- When he gets sad he gets needy, so he likes when you bring him his fav drink and remind him why you love him so much and once he’s powered back up he cuddles you to death( if okay w/ you)

- When you’re sad he found out you like it when he hums a song so he’ll bring you into a soft bear hug and hum a nice song which makes you fall asleep in his arms( whispers “ I love you, blossom/bumblebee/ som’ cute idk.” than falls asleep with you in his arms)

- You both have made it official that every Friday night is blanket fort night and you hide in there and watch movies, eat snacks, gossip, open up if comfortable, k*ss, laugh, just have a good time together and bond

- He introduces you to Hinata and yes that means you are both looking after him now together, he is your son and you both support him(go parents! *high five*)

Sugawara

OMG my soft little- LIES he is a demon but I love him and his khaos:)

- You both talk SO MUCH SHIT it’s insane it usually goes like this when you enter practice( ur manger for this) “SUGA OMFG GUESS WHAT!” “Omg, what?” “You know how Asahi and Yama always go leave to the left of the building on Tuesdays even though they go right the other days?” “YEAH, WHAT DO U KNOW!??” “It’s cause each Tuesday I found out from Tsuki that they both go to the salon and spa to freshen up:0″ “OMG-wait that’s kinda cute tho:)” “IK it’s so cute but idk if they want others to know-” Daichi yells.”PRACTICE IS STARTING YOU TWO, HURRY UP>:(”

- Though you guys can be wine aunts together you’re also soft at times when no ones watching cause they can’t know

- You both bake lots of sweets together for yourselves and the team to have(they enjoy that part of your relationship)

- Once you both bumped into Oikawa and Iwazumi and you had to hold back the laughter after Suga whispered in your ear that when he falls on his ass the sound made is the same as the minecraft door shut effect

- You both go on late night walks in the park at 4 in the morning and feed the ducks that might be there and just have fu on the playground

- He likes it when you do his hair in funky ways and will keep it in even when the team is about to start a match

Koganegawa(OMG I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE NEEDS MORE LOVE)

- Literally one of the best huggers in the show fight me on it

- When he sees you anywhere he will run full speed to you and jump into your arms and spin you around for a good bit

- He tries to scare you but fails 99% of the time because he’s always giggling from behind(if he does scare you he feels bad and quickly gets you a snack so that you feel better:))

- When you first meet the team they already know a lot about you since he talks about you a lot with them already and tells them how amazing and awesome you are to him(they aprove of you before they meet you)

- When you watch him play he is at an all time high of serotonin and gets really hyper so you also have to try and calm him down so that he can focus better and he does so you can be impressed on how well he plays

- When it rains you both run outside and play in it for more than 3 hours and then get sick together like lovebirds do

- His nicknames for you are food based but in a cute way like, muffin, strawberry, pumpkin, sugar, flour, bake at 350 degrees, cute things like that:)

Suna

-You both met when you needed help around the school and he offered to help, everyone including himself was suprised. the team was scared, he was confused, and you still didn’t know where to go and needed help. but that’s how love starts.

- You both send eachother dumb videos and like to “blackmail” Atsumu because you both hate him(no you don’t)

- The first time you saw him laugh out loud was when you slapped Atsumu in the back of the head for and I quote, “Doing that dumbass ass, thomas the train smirk you always do.”

- He likes to walk home with you to make sure you’re safe and just to spend more time together since volleyball takes up most of his time

- When you’re a his games to others it might seem like he’s the same but when he does a good block or move he gives a hand sign you both made that means you watch me, love:0

- He leaves you a note in you locker everyday for reminders ike eat well AND STAY HYDRATED FOR GODS SAKE

#haikyu #haikyuu x reader #haikyu headcanons #headcannons #kenm #kenma x you #bokuto #bokuto x reader #koutarou x reader #sugawara #suga #sugawara x reader #koganegawa x reader #hq koganegawa #suna x reader #suna rintaro x you #haikyu fanfiction #hq #headcanon

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bnha-butterfly · 4 years ago

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Little things class 1-A like about other people

Just some serotonin for the soul.

I was watching videos on TikTok where people talked about the things they love in other people. So I thought it would be fun to do it for class 1-A. This literally gave me the serotonin and I needed to go write some request.

Midoriya likes when people smile so big that their eyes are practically closed.

Shoto likes when people take the time out of their day to check up on one of their friends even if it’s just a text.

Iida likes it when someone goes out of there way to help a classmate who doesn’t understand the material.

Ochako likes it when people make pinky promises to each other.

Tsuyu likes it when people move snails and like worms out of the path of potential harm to somewhere safe.

Bakugo likes it when people add little personal touches to things like silly doodles on letters or notes.

Kirishima likes the way people don’t give up and excitedly talk about how they plan on succeeding next time.

Kaminari likes the way people make those full belly / wheezing / snort laughs at things they really find funny.

Sero likes when people send those “look at this thing that reminded me of you” text even if it’s something like a sunset or a cool rock.

Mina likes the way people dance and sing to their favorite song like nobody’s watching.

Jirou likes when people give other music recommendations that they think the other person might enjoy ( bonus points if you make them a playlist you keep adding too).

Shinso likes when people give random compliments out like “your hair looks really fluffy/nice today” or “you smell super good”.

Momo likes it when people lend her books and she can see that the spine is worn-out and there are annotations in the margin.

Tokoyami likes it when people remember the small things like your favorite sour candy or favorite candle sent.

Shoji likes it when people go out of their way to help strangers. Like when someone helps carry groceries to an old persons car.

Ojiro likes the way peoples eyes light up when they talk about something they love.

Kouda likes it when people go out of their way to make sure you’re comfortable.

Sato likes it when people share their favorite dessert recipe with someone else.

Aoyama likes it when people go outside of their comfort zone for something that their friends really enjoy.

Hagakure likes it when people pull someone aside and point out something wrong (a spot on a shirt, a piece of spinach in their teeth) so they don’t embarrass them in front of everyone.

Aizawa likes it when people take the time to pet or feed a stray.

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aonogifreactions · 4 years ago

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Hug Headcanons: Revisited

a/n: ive felt like i should rewrite this for a while now. i hated seeing those stuped ~180 words, so.. thats why were here! xD i added yukio to the mix as well, since ive gotten this ask >:) huge thanks to @no-remorse, who beta-read it for me <33

Tiny edit: I’d love to hear the feedback for this one! <3

Warnings: Spoiler in the last headcanon in Yukio’s part!

★ Characters: Rin, Yukio, Mephisto, Lucifer, Amaimon, Astaroth.

★ Words: 2,1k.

Rin:

no matter where, who’s watching, or what had happened before, he’s gonna give you a big, big hug! he absolutely lives for your hugs, it soothes him emotionally so much and works as immediate relief.

almost always his one hand wraps around your waist, while the other one goes on your head as he nuzzles into your neck; his hugs are always tight, almost as if you were about to get taken away from him - he doesn’t really feel like that inside, but.. he likes feeling that you’re here. present. for him.

after a fight, he immediately runs into your arms and almost makes you both fall on the ground as you nearly lose your balance when his arms wrap around you; feeling your embrace, your warmness.. something in his mind switches right away and he’s calm. he’s still shaking, but it gradually stops as he relaxes in your arms.

at first, he might be a little shy, but when he gets comfortable, he can’t keep his arms away from you. He just.. loves feeling you. hugs make him somewhat vulnerable, because he lets his frustration out, and at the same time - Rin gets an extreme dose of serotonin. He tends to place his forehead on yours just before he loosens his hold on you, and eventually moves on do to his things.

depending on your height, he still loves hugging the same! if you’re short - during hugging, he also places his cheek on your head, leaving a soft kiss on your hair. if you’re tall - he loves!! hugging!! into your chest!! or whatever he reaches!! he’s just snuggling into you like a madman.

he gets butterflies in his stomach when you hug him from behind and almost starts stuttering. (do it when he's cooking or sumn,, but u didn't hear it from me)

also, please, PLEASE wrap your arms around his neck. he’s gonna MELT.

Yukio:

his hugs are rare, but it’s not like he doesn’t touch you - it’s just Yukio being Yukio; hugs make him vulnerable, similarly to Rin, except that it’s Yukio’s way to “open up” about his problems a little. It’s surely a very small step forward, but it shows that he's trying, yet he doesn’t realize how much it actually helps him.

he prefers to hug somewhere where there are not so many people around, not necessary in private completely, but as long as you’re the only one with him in the room, he’s down for a hug if he feels like it (or you beg him enough lol).

he’s usually silent during hugging, but he really “quietly” lets his frustration out, you might even catch him sighing. at first, he embraces you with only one arm and places his head on your shoulder, but when it hits him - the emotions, that he’s been waiting for years and now he’s finally able to tell someone everything - he’s almost crying, but he intertwines his other hand with yours instead. even though there are no real words shared, his love language involuntarily shows the beauty of his complicated personality.

now, he’s a little “unwilling” to hug you, mostly because of all that emotions crashing on him, but he feels so much better afterwards.. it’s unreal, he feels like you used some kind of magical spell on him.

the worst time to hug him is probably when he’s angry - and while it seems like a totally normal thing, it doesn’t work as comfort for him - it makes him even more upset, so it’s really best to leave him alone for some time. he knows your intentions are good though, so usually, he comes back to you with a calmed mind and apologizes.

I picture his S/O being in this mess in chapter 126, where the twins just beat the shit out of each other, and suddenly Yukio’s s/o comes up to him and stops from shooting Rin - he’d have that mental wall blocking him from hurting you in any way, just when he realizes he points his guns at your face or grabbing his hands and attempting to get Rin out of his target range - both of those things and any similar scenarios would end up with him looking at you with those beautiful, yet unfortunate eyes showing so much pain and sadness, along with that broken expression on his face, hoping to understand him.

Mephisto:

we’re gonna have fun here. hugging with Mephisto is pretty common, he likes touching you physically and doesn’t really care if people see it - he’ll push boundaries as far as he can, but unless it’s someone or something really important, he stops and gets serious.

^unless it’s Arthur, he could politely knock on the door. Hearing the permission to come in, the first thing he sees is Mephisto hugging you with a hand on your lower back, heading dangerously onto your ass while casually giving him random papers and smirking at him. wow.

if you think the twins�� grip was tight, Mephisto’s gonna literally try to squish you into his body - it’s not hugging if your bodies aren’t touching themselves in EVERY possible way. You could be practically glued to him and he won’t complain - in fact, he’s gonna have that shit-eating grin and tease you by saying “hmm, aren’t you needy, darling? you can’t be away from me even if I work!” (even if.. it was him who called you over...)

he GETS handsy and you can’t do anything about it. and he really does it on purpose, just to tease you and see how much time it takes for you to get either horny or snap at him. nonetheless, he likes to place hands around your waist or just on your hips, then shove you into him, so he’s able to whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

hugs definitely show his rather “softer” side, the silly one - but he also doesn’t hesitate to hug you when he’s serious; these hugs, however, tend to be quicker but more intimate. even if it’s just him standing next to you and placing his hand on your hip while watching the dark sky, stars flickering slightly as you feel a slight, cold breeze hit your face; you look at him, wondering what he’s thinking about, this incredibly sharp mind with hundreds, perhaps thousands of different thoughts. Is he reflecting? Reminiscing? Regretting? or is his mind wandering around some silly thoughts? Yet you’re the one left wondering, not noticing his emerald eyes have focused on yours a while ago. You take your eyes off him, slightly embarrassed, hearing only a faint chuckle and feeling his grip tightening on you as you two once again gaze at the glittering galaxy above you.

Lucifer:

due to his body being not as strong as Mephisto’s - he’s usually down for cuddling instead. however, when some of the elixirs do their job, he’s gonna give you hugs pretty often.

prefers to be in private when he really wants to give you a genuine hug; he doesn’t want to show others he fell for the trap named “love”. he lets himself be a hypocrite about it, for once (ekhem satan and yuri).

Of course, tiny hugs wouldn’t be forgotten while attending stuff anywhere else on Dominus Liminis, but they’re just quick hugs when you walk past him. he isn’t ashamed of you by any means, in fact, he’s proudly walking along with you most of the time, having a hand either on your waist or interlaced with yours.

Lucifer’s hugs are very, very confident and send butterflies to your stomach - he radiates that strong energy to make you feel secure in his arms - the world could be falling, but as long as you’re in his arms, he’ll do anything to protect you from any harm, even if this means losing his precious body.

sometimes he hugs you in his own, unique way - he interlaces both of his hands with yours and places his forehead against yours, closing his eyes and sighing softly. while you might think it’s not really a hug, it’s definitely a very sweet gesture. you can get a kiss on the temple or a few sweet and uplifting words whispered in your ear too, if he feels particularly affectionate that day.

his views on physical contact are... a little bizarre; he’s confused and doesn’t fully understand the purpose of it, yet - he will admit it’s quite satisfying. feeling your lover is definitely something that feeds the feelings he’s had deep within him. he might be a little stiff when you introduce him to this too, no matter how many times he’d seen humans do it - experiencing it for the first time is new to him, but surely it is something he grew to enjoy.

so what’s that “hugging” thing again? you just wrap your arms around someone and.. that’s it? are you supposed to just stay like this? how long? - that’s pretty much half of his thoughts going through his head when he hugs you.

it takes him quite a long time until he “learns” it just “makes him feel better”. he understands (kinda) the idea of it, but deeper down, he’s still pretty puzzled.

In the early stages of hugging, Amaimon didn't realize how strong his hugs were - if he didn’t break any bone of yours, then it’s a miracle. As soon as he noticed you almost passing out, he stopped and the guilt of possibly causing you harm has kicked in, so he promised you to make it up the best way he can.

Amaimon doesn’t realize it - but as time passes he grew used to hugs! Especially greeting hugs, which at this point he doesn’t realize he gives - it’s become a habit of his.

not a fan of long hugs - to say it bluntly, he becomes bored if it lasts too long (unless there’s been a fight beforehand, in this case, he understands you want to regain the sense of security that physical body is able to give). he likes quick hugs instead, which he gives more often.

Amaimon’s hugs are pretty simple - he wraps his arms around your waist and that’s.. pretty much it. He might rub your back sometimes, but to be honest - he just likes the simplicity. Funnily enough, when Behemoth notices you hugging, he also wants to participate! Tiny demon bounces your way and while it’s near your leg, he starts clinging to it and nuzzling himself (Amaimon’s kinda >:((((((( when he sees Behemoth snuggling, but it’s his boyo so he forgives him).

However, Amai gets really mad when he sees you hugging someone else than him. Unless it’s a close friend or family member, he’s.. somewhat accepting this, but if it’s someone he doesn’t know - he’ll either try to fight them or take you bridal style in his arms and just go away.

He also gets awfully handsy, which he probably picked up from Mephisto. His one hand might slowly slide down to grope your ass cheeks; when you look at his face questionably, he’s just gonna place the other hand on your ass as his answer.

Astaroth:

his understanding is even worse than Amaimon’s, so he’s initially against it. he doesn’t understand the purpose of it and it's very hard to convince him otherwise, saying something along the lines of “if you need your “physical contact” we can fuck on the counter”.

continuously asking him would only make the situation worse, as he’d get annoyed more each second, eventually making him leave the house for a few days. one situation, however, changed his mind the most - he’s once lashed out at you, leaving you crying. he left nonetheless and waited a few days until he cooled off. feeling bad for his actions and regretting doing it for once, he came back, but instead of confronting you - he left a withering rose with a note.

he’s learned a little bit from that situation - seeing that you accept his quirks, he decided to try out some of your ideas - including hugging. and oh boy, how wrong he was.

he will NOT admit he likes hugs for his life; very “tsundere” approach to it, but you can catch his face being relaxed sometimes.

his favorite hug is.. hugging you from behind! whenever you’re cooking or being busy just in general, he loves surprising you with a hug, encircling his hands around your belly as you flinch slightly, not expecting him. as an apology, he places a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

due to him being nasty, you gotta bear with his dirty-talking he’s “performing” every time he hugs you. he also WILL tease you by groping your chest with no shame, attempt to give you hickies, and after a while - move his hands dangerously near your chest.

#Ao no Exorcist #blue exorcist #rin okumura #Yukio Okumura #mephisto pheles #lucifer #amaimon #astaroth #Headcanon #Pure

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59writes · 3 years ago

Text

WITCH OF THE WOODS - MINGHAO 🌿

MAIN POST

I’m just chillin in Cedar Rapids ✨

why am I so bad at not judging my writing. please brain let me live. people are not gonna give a shit if you write something weird.

anyways my week has been pretty anxious lol. I have no thoughts anymore ): rip

as always, feel free to hmu or drop an ask! I love getting asks so much like the serotonin rush,,,, mwah

anyways enjoy <3 !!!

The pigeon was very strange.

It came to your house without any reason; no note, no order, no gift or supply. Just a very noisy little guy.

The strange pigeon crowded the others for food, bit your fingers, and screamed at extremely inopportune times, including at 2 am.

Basically, it made you want to cry.

You’d been tolerant for so long, letting it perch on your shoulder, surprisingly stable for it being so large. It eventually cooled down a bit, choosing to wait for you to hand feed it leftover plants from your potions, spending its nights cooing quietly in the window instead of testing its lung capacity.

Still, you wanted the bird gone.

Though it was friendly and eventually good company, it wouldn’t leave. You knew it wasn’t wild, seeing as it had a green tag around its little ankle, but it seemed to have no intention of returning to its original owner.

Mark had visited, Johnny in tow, bonding instantly over the little bird as Johnny rolled his eyes.

“You have to keep it, y/n! It’s so cute!” Mark pleads, scratching the pigeon’s head as it pecked at their sleeves.

“These birds aren’t mine, dude, you know this.” You sigh, giving Johnny an exasperated look, the human shrugging in response. “Someone wants it back.”

“Clearly they don’t.” The witch whines, picking the fat little bird up. It immediately began trying to eat their hair, Mark giggling. “They should have come for it by now.”

“A lot of people don’t know exactly where I live. They usually have to go through Taeyong to find me, and Taeyong always comes immediately if there’s a problem.”

“How long has it been here?” Johnny asks with another sigh, going over to feed one of the parakeets waiting for its order.

“Almost two weeks.”

“Damn!” Mark whistles, finally looking up from the pigeon. “They really don’t want it back!”

“Come on, Mark.” Johnny groans, gently feeding a spray of millet to the perch full of parakeets. “That tag looks like it’s from a nature preserve. It could totally be a human’s bird.”

“How do you know what nature preserve tags look like?” Mark gapes, the pigeon taking the opportunity to lazily flap over to your shoulder, cooing peacefully.

“I volunteered at one for a few years. They have special tags to determine that the bird has imprinted on humans. I mean, pigeons are naturally friendly birds, but this one’s probably used for education.”

“Damn. Hot and an animal lover?” Mark grins.

“Shut up, Lee.”

“Do you think it’s tracked? Can’t you track birds?” You ask, gently feeding the pigeon dried mint.

“I mean… yeah.” Johnny frowns. “Your house doesn’t have some, like, magical barrier or something that ruins GPS?”

“No, but I’m considering it now. Maybe something Mark-proof.”

Mark looks scandalized. “Absolutely not, asshole!”

“Tempting.” Johnny laughs. He pulls out his phone and swipes to the camera app, making kissy noises at the pigeon on your shoulder. The bird steps into his hand, and Johnny picks it up gently, raising it above his head to get a picture of its tag. “I can try and show this to one of my old colleagues, they might know.”

“Excellent.”

“Not excellent! I want to keep it.”

“Mark, hot take: shut up.” You hiss. “It’s not yours. Go tame your own pigeon.”

“y/n, are you okay with me giving them your address… or coordinates or whatever… in case they need to pick it up? I don’t know how birds do with teleporting.” Johnny asks, tapping away at his phone. How he had service out here, you had no clue.

“Sure. I just want it out of my hair.”

“y/n!”

“Shut up, Mark!” You and Johnny say in unison, the pigeon cooing as a final retort.

“Okay, damn.”

•••

Johnny sends Jaemin to tell you that he’s found the guy, which you personally think was a great idea. Jaemin gave the birds a few pats, sure, but didn’t plead to keep the pigeon (unlike someone you know), which was a nice relief.

He was going to come later that day, and the entire morning you were wringing your hands with anxiety. A fucking human. Why did you agree to this?

Luckily, the man didn’t give you too much time to worry, pulling up early in the afternoon in some bulky car, clearly used for woodland exploring, mud speckling the sides. You stood behind the door, heart pounding as you waited for the knock.

Again, he didn’t make you wait, immediately hopping out of the car, steps lightly crunching on the gravel path to your door. He knocks, precise and loud, and after a pause (don’t want to be awkward) you pull the door open.

Oh fuck. He’s pretty.

His dark hair is scruffy, wavy bangs lightly falling over his eyes as he beams at you, offering a hand. “I’m Minghao.”

You take his hand, his grip warm and firm. “y/n.”

“I know! Johnny told me about you. Good to finally meet you.”

You groan. “Oh god. What did he say about me?”

“All good, I promise. We talked mostly about birds, I hear you have a lot.”

“Yeah. Come in, I’ll show you.”

As he steps into your house, you internally facepalm. Really? What made you want to show this guy your house when you can just as easily shove the pigeon in his hands and shut the door?

A glance at Minghao makes it at least a little worth it, though. He’s smiling even wider than before, eyes sparkling as he looks at all the birds.

“Wow. Johnny wasn’t kidding.”

“Yeah. It’s kinda my thing at this point.” You grin. “Hence why I have your bird.”

“Ugh. He’s barely mine.” Minghao frowns once you mention what he’s actually there for. “He hates me.”

“I know someone who wants him, if you want him off your hands.”

Minghao laughs, the sound bright, the birds around the room perking up when they hear it, tilting their heads. “God, I wish I could give him up, but he’s a fan favorite down at the nature preserve. They use him to educate about nature in the city, and he’s the only one kids are allowed to pet.”

“Damn. Was thinking I could kill two birds with one stone.”

“Don’t let the birds hear you say that.” Minghao teases, moving to stroke a pheonix gently across its crest. “I’ve never seen some of these before.”

“Uh. Rare species.” You fumble, just as the phoenix shakes its tail, sending a cascade of embers down behind it before leaning into Minghao.

“Yeah, that’s for sure.” Minghao comments calmly, watching the embers die out near his feet. “What kind of bird is this? If I didn’t know better I’d think it was a pheonix.”

Well, fuck. Shooting a glare at the bird, you finally admit the truth. “It is a phoenix.”

“Hm.” Minghao muses. “I knew something was up when I saw the potion shelves back there. You’re not fucking with me, right?”

“I wish I was. Did Johnny not tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“I- okay, god, maybe it’s better that you don’t know.”

“I’ll ask Johnny when I get home.”

“He’s smart, he won’t tell.”

“We’ve been friends for almost ten years, y/n. He’s not gonna lie to me.”

He has a good point. Johnny doesn’t lie about important shit, and to be honest a bird shooting out cinders would be very important to a human. You sigh, retrieving Minghao’s bird. “I’m a witch.”

“Yeah?” You can tell he doesn’t believe you, grin seeping into his voice.

“Yeah.” You offer him the bird, who cocks its head at Minghao dubiously. Minghao doesn’t take it.

“I don’t get it.”

You sigh. “Me either, but you’re going to have to believe me. Or you can just, y’know, tell your colleagues you found a real phoenix and see if they believe you.”

“What if I take the phoenix instead of the pigeon?”

“Phoenixes are very dependent on their owners and will genuinely explode if they’re too far from a place they recognize.”

“Wow. Okay. I’ll take the pigeon.”

“Good choice. That one’s not even mine, just a customer’s. I keep my birds in the roost out back.”

Minghao brightens. “There’s more?”

“For someone who doesn’t believe that I’m a witch, you sure are excited to see some magic birds.”

“Honestly, who wouldn’t be?”

“Fair.” You give in, opening your back door and leading Minghao (and the pigeon) to the large coop you had in your backyard. You open the door for him, stepping into the dark space right behind him.

“Woah.”

It’s understandable that he’s shocked. The beauty of the phoenixes gets you every time and you see them almost constantly. For a human who’s never experienced them, this must be heaven.

The phoenixes softly glowed, feathers changing colors as the light caught them differently, throwing off soft reds and yellows. The occasional grooming bird would clean under its wings, showing its night-dark underside that shimmered a deep umber. Every fluff of a feather shot out hot ash, making the dark coop blink like it was full of fireflies.

And honestly, it was heaven to you.

A phoenix chick waddles up to you with a soft peep, too small to fully make noise. You pick it up and offer it to Minghao, who accepts, his wide eyes glistening a soft red in the fiery light. The bird honks at Minghao as he gently runs a hand over its downy feathers, smile undeniably kind.

“Okay. Maybe I do believe in magic.” He laughs, that bright sound again, filling up the room like the warmth of the birds. And boy, was that laugh warm.

In fact, too warm, as you suddenly noted. It was too hot, coursing down your body in waves. You look over at Minghao to see if he’s experiencing it too, but no, he’s staring at you, wonder in his eyes. You meet his gaze and the fire reaches a climax.

Ow. Holy shit.

The phoenixes all perk up, detecting the surge of magic in their caretaker, cooing confusedly as you try to catch your breath, leaning against a perch for support.

There’s no way.

Minghao doesn’t seem to notice, returning to peacefully petting the tiny bird that’s cradled in his arms. “I know this might be asking a lot… but uh.” He clears his throat, and even in the reddish light you can tell he’s blushing. “Would it be okay for me to come back? Without needing to get a pigeon.”

You take a second to look at the boy, taking in his illuminated frame, hair falling in his eyes as he looks down at the bird, clearly too shy to meet your eyes.

To be honest, if any human was supposed to be your soul connection, you’d be fine with it being Minghao.

“Of course you can.”

The smile he gave you brightened the room more than the phoenixes did, and you were more than happy to beam right back.

“Now, c’mon, let’s go get this stupid pigeon in your car.”

•••

• to be continued •

tags: @shiningstar-byulxx @mythicalamphitrite

just drop an ask if you want to be added to the taglist!!

#x reader #kpop x reader #svt #svt x reader #seventeen #svt scenarios #svt reactions #the8 #minghao #myungho #wotw series

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gallickingun · 4 years ago

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I hope you don't mind me asking... How did you get followers? I want to start my own blog but I want to make sure I can reach audiences I want to reach. I don't have any friends who know I write, and honestly I'm not sure I'd want them to read my works anyway. I get embarrassed easily. It's much easier for me to talk to someone that I don't have a face for. Does that make sense? Probably not. But how did you start your adventure here?

I want to preface this with follower count can make sense, or it can’t. I’ve made friends with some of the most amazing, most talented writers who have less than a thousand followers. I’ve made friends with amazing, talented writers who have thousands of followers. I genuinely don’t know how to trick the algorithm into listening to you, haha, but just know that numbers don’t equal talent; popularity does not always equal skill. So please, even if you don’t have the high follower count of someone else, don’t let it discourage you from writing! Everyone starts somewhere, and everyone grows differently.

But, I’ve found that it all depends on who you write for, what you write, and how often you write.

Who you write for: Bakugou is one of the most popular characters. I truly didn’t know this when I entered the fandom, but it was really what got me started on the upward climb. I’m by no means a big blogger, lol, but I know that writing for Bakugou was what helped me out initially. He was originally the only character who I could write for because he was my favorite and I hadn’t really gotten too far into the show. I think the same goes for other fandoms - if you write for the more popular characters, who have more content in demand because they have more fans, you’re more likely to gain more followers.

DISCLAIMER: Do not let this keep you from writing for other characters who are less popular, if you prefer to write for them. Content is needed for all characters! I am desperate for some Sugawara content, but he’s not one of the more popular characters that people write for (see: Kuroo, Ushiwaka, Bokuto, Oikawa, Iwa, and Akaashi). If we only focus on the popular characters, the ones that get us the most growth, but those aren’t the characters we love, the content can seem disingenuous, if that makes sense. I got lucky by Bakugou being my favorite. But like, when I try to push out Kaminari content, I find that it’s a real struggle for me because I don’t necessarily vibe with Kaminari as a character. The same goes in reverse. If the minor characters have your heart, but you try to force out content for the popular characters, it can be tough to write and come across like you don’t really want to write it. Write who you want to write!

What you write: This is a really big deal right now, but I’m just gonna say it lol. NSFW gets more notes. I don’t say that to force you into writing NSFW content - I actually had never read/written NSFW content until this past March, and I’m 22, going on 23. Originally, when I decided to start writing, I wanted to be NSFW-free, but some stuff changed in life and in writing and I chose to make the change.

Also, I’ve found for each fandom, different things are more prevalent. For instance, the BNHA fandom seems to do a lot of AU’s and full length fics, but the Haikyuu!! fandom seems to do more traditional works that follow canon and then the content itself is mostly headcanons and short scenarios. I think you have to find what works for you and write it to the best of your ability. I suck at headcanons, I’ve never really been able to do them and they stress me out. So I stick to full length fics. I know this means I’ll do better in one fandom versus the other, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to start only doing headcanons just because it’s what’s popular.

DISCLAIMER: This does NOT mean that just because someone wrote 10k words of smut, that it’s better or more involved than your 10k words of fluff/angst/domestic/etc. writing. Unfortunately, there are horn dogs out there who are especially touch starved during quarantine. It doesn’t make anyone better or worse because they choose to write about being naked versus being clothed. Please don’t let this discourage you from writing SFW-only writing, as there are tons of people out there who are just as desperate for some comfort fics about cuddling completely clothed.

How often you write: When I first started, I had a lot more time on my hands and was able to pump out content much quicker. I grew pretty rapidly in a short period of time because I was able to consistently put out content. Since I’ve gotten more busy and my mental illness has reared it’s ugly head, I’ve not been able to write as much and I can tell my follower count growth had tapered off. But the pace in which you post content generally helps increase your follower count, because people know that you will continuously feed them with the goods! Sometimes it might be good to set a schedule so others know when you’ll be posting - say a new fic every Friday? Or sometimes it can be good to keep your followers engaged with thirst posts (SFW or NSFW), or specific nights where you do events that focus on a certain character or genre.

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT FORCE YOURSELF TO PUSH OUT CONTENT. Please be aware within your own self what your limits are. Just because one writer can sit at home and push out tons of short scenarios and drabbles during the day, but you can’t, doesn’t mean either of you are doing anything wrong. It just means that one person has a different availability than you. I don’t really do thirst posts a ton in the same respect that others do them, because I know that I’ll want to write a whole fic out of the couple of sentences that my followers might send in. However, there are many others within the fandom that can respond with a few paragraphs that take a few minutes to type out. It doesn’t mean that they’re better than me and I’m a horrible writer, it just means that in this area, they’re more skilled or have more time.

Also, don’t be afraid to tag people and send out DMs! I promise your writer idols are not nearly as scary as you think they are. And they’re probably just as excited to get a DM from you as you are to talk to them! I was really hesitant to reach out to anyone before, because I never really did much chatting in other fandoms, but the anime fandoms I’ve been apart of have been very kind and welcoming, and helpful! I made some of my closest friends because I tagged them in my works or I joined a server with them in it, or I read their stuff and reached out to them to fangirl over it. Don’t be afraid to reach out, even if you just keep the conversation focused on your writing, it’ll still be worth it in the end! The worst thing that could happen is they don’t reply or the conversation fizzles out. Either way, you will have made a connection, and blasted one another with some serotonin.

Remember to take breaks. Take a hiatus every once and a while! Take some time for yourself to recharge. If this begins to feel like a job, like an obligation, and you feel yourself dragging your feet just to put out content, please step back and reevaluate. This is a hobby, it’s supposed to be fun. Once it stops being fun, take a breather and reassess what you’re doing. Sometimes this means closing requests, sometimes this means opening requests, sometimes this means participating in collab fics, sometimes this means disconnecting entirely. This is just tumblr, in the end, and you should be able to take care of yourself first rather than pinning yourself into a corner to try and post content for the sake of your followers. In the end, everyone wants you to be happy and healthy, so you can put your best foot forward in life and in your hobbies. So please, for the love of everything, take a break every now and then. Disconnect, recharge, and regroup.

I also had a blog before this one, my main, so I’ve been on tumblr for eight year prior to this. I’m not going to even claim that I begin to understand how this hellsite works, but I will say that I’ve been writing on here for a while now, since way back to my band blog days. Eventually you just write what you want to write, and chat with your followers and your friends, and you’ll grow organically. When you start to pressure yourself over it, it can become like a cloud looming over you, and then when you don’t perform up to your preset standards, it might be a little disappointing. Follower milestones are cool to want to achieve and celebrate, but don’t pour all your focus into them. For the most part, I use milestones for celebration events to give back to my followers, or to set goals for myself like opening commissions! But they don’t determine my worth as a writer, because sometimes the tumblr algorithm is more giving to some rather than others.

Whew, this was a doozy. But I hope it helped! Some of these answers might come off a little crass, but I’m just trying to be honest. Don’t let anything deter you from doing whatever the hell you wanna do.

You wanna write that rarepair? DO IT. You wanna write character x character? DO IT. You wanna write about your Original Characters? DO IT.

Whatever it is you want to do, do it! And have a helluva time doing it 💕

#morgan gives advice #Anonymous #morgan gets mail

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marshmallow-phd · 4 years ago

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It's the 💙 Anon here, so, first of all, be prepared for a long ass text and my shit english. (I'm so sorry for you, but you was the one that asked 🤷🏻)

In the first place, when I came across this type of AU, I was taken a back. I don't know If was the prejudice from Twilight, but I always thought it was some kind of weird fetish?!? (Sorry, but I already paid for that). Anyway, when I started reading the Untamed Series, I was looking for some Suho fics. I had already read the Sins Of The Father, so I thought that I should at least give It a try. So Suho was the first one that I read.

I guess most woman (I said most, not EVERY) dream with the guy that put her above everything, wants to protect her, be with her all the time. That will be loyal and faithful, you can trust on him with your life, and make you feel unique and desired. That's what make me like the AU for itself.

For your writing:

1: Every character has a background, their own personalities, and normal lifes with jobs and school. Even the real people problems. The mates are so different from each other, they're strong and brave. This make us closer to the characters.

2: How much you describe the tiny little things making us picture all the scenes, It's amazing and magical like in one real book.

3: All the stories connect with each other, the references always linking then togheter. Some even occure at the same time.

4: Well, we are talking about 12 members, so 12 different stories. So fucking much criativity.

5: All the slight suggestive stuff 😏

6: Everything It's so detailed that you even put names e and gave faces to the mates. Once I read this fic series with BTS that where connected and the protagonist from one storie would talk to other protagonists. But they don't have names, neither faces. Was kind of confusing.

For my favorite storie It's Suho (obiviously because he's my favorite). Tao's storie It's the second one, but I also like the more complicate ones. Like Jongdae, Luhan and Sehun. Even Kris one are a little dramatic, but I like It.

On Sehun's storie I like that the protagonist actually chose the villain side and even confessed that Sehun had hurt her, showing us that no one It's perfect. It's not a faitytalle, It's real life.

Overall, It's the the whole thing, your writing It's definitly the best I have read until today. You could write actual books, you would became a best seller.

Hope you can undestand what I was trying to say and that I don't stated the obvious. It's hard to express some feelings in english.

💙 Anon

I am so happy that you sent this in to me. I really mean it when I say I love getting detailed feedback. It helps me improve and see what people like and what they don’t like. Also? Serotonin. I snorted at “some weird fetish” because I don’t think that word has ever been associated with my blog. (Please don’t take that the wrong way, I don’t mean that rudely, I really just found it a little funny!) I will agree that a bit of the wolf/mate au trope is having that sense that you’re the only one in the world and that the loyalty is there and unshakeable. Which is something that I, too, really enjoy from the genre. (I’m a softy romantic so I need that to feed the feels).

I love that you enjoy the backgrounds and the side stories of my series. My big thing with my writing is I want it - despite the genre and supernatural elements - to be realistic. I want things to make sense and to have a sense of it really happening. For characters to be more rounded, they need outlining stories and pieces that make them more whole. I enjoy placing them in the stories and expanding (they also help expand the word count *cough*). Putting in the details came from some of the best advice I’ve ever read for a white: avoid the white room. If you don’t explain where your characters are or what’s happening around them, they might as well be in a boring white room. (also, again, word count).

I will not lie, it has been hard connecting all the stories and writing them so they all make sense in the chronological order and build off each other. Especially since I started off the series not really thinking that it would be a series. I thought it would Jongdae’s story and done. Once the popularity hit and people asked for sequels, I had to start the gears. I only planned about a story or two ahead, which I think was the better decision for me because even while writing the story, I was making changes and adjustments, which definitely affected stories later down the line. Creating 12 different stories without repeating myself and becoming boring was difficult. Especially by the time I got to Sehun’s. The big finale. I knew I needed to get out a story that was really different but could also connect back to Jongdae’s in a way. As for the, uh, suggestive stuff... I may not be comfortable with smut, but a girl likes a nice make out too....

The face claims for the mates came about halfway through when someone simply asked if I had certain people in mind when I was writing. I knew as I started Kyungsoo’s story, I needed names to keep things from getting confusing, especially since I was adding in the ex-members too. Putting the face claims together was a lot of fun because it actually helped me reinforce their personalities and making them even more different and distinct.

I love Suho’s was your favorite. I loved writing that one along with Kris’. (I know his got a little dramatic with the rejection, but I got a little self-indulgent with that one...) Tao’s was just so much fun to write because he’s a sassy brat but also has a heart of gold. That kind of contradiction is so great to work with. Playing with Sehun’s mate and having her be more gray and confused and hopping back and forth across the line really helped me grow as a writer because I’ve never written that kind of character before.

Thank you so much for sending this in to me and for such kind words! I really really appreciate you taking the time to send this in to me. Being a best selling author is my big dream and I hope to get there someday. The fact that you already believe in me in that way means so much!

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i-am-parsec · 4 years ago

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11/02/2020

Hey, so...I had a bit of a crisis a couple days ago and now I’m here, writing again. I think I can still picture your smug look whenever I’d admit I was “wrong”, even if my memory is very unreliable these days, I can still see it and I know for a fact that’s the look you’re giving me right now. You little shit.

Um, they are probably not gonna like reading that. They don’t like it when I “pretend I can actually communicate with my missing, most likely already dead ex husband”. Weird, right? Like I don’t see how that would disturb them, ha.

I suppose I now should explain to you who “they” are. I’m talking about my doctors, Dr. Richard Willson and Dr. Alexandra Freias, who, little fun fact, my sister hired solely on the basis of her being 1. A woman and 2. Latina. I guess she thought I’d “bond” better with someone who looked more like, but the funny bit is that Dr. Freias’ mother is Russian and she looks like a photocopy of her mother. What I’m trying is that, not only was my sister’s idea dumb, she also did a terrible job at executing it because my doctor looks white as hell. She is nice, though, and I’m grateful about that. And no, Dr. Freias, I am not writing that just so you’ll forgive me for destroying your brand new phone yesterday but yes, I am very sorry about that, or at least as sorry as I can be these days and I promise my dumb sister will replace it as soon as possible.

I’m gonna have to get used to the idea of these letters having a bigger audience than before. In the sake of my little agreement with my lovely health professionals, I’ll be open and honest and admit...I don’t like it, it makes me uncomfortable to share this, my only safe space, with people who are basically strangers to me, but I am aware this decision was taken for the sake of everyone's peace of mind. When I’m writing, I’m focused, more relaxed, less prone to spiral down after Dr. Willson gives me a mocking look and sighs at the mention of your name, Chase, so this is a good thing: I get to talk to you and my doctors get a bit of insight on what’s going on inside my mind without me losing my shit and breaking everything around me, something they claim to desperately need.

I am a woman of my word, so I will continue this little daily exercise if that is what everyone thinks is best for me, even if I can’t help but laugh at the idea that this might give them any kind of extra data about me or you or anything related to this mess our lives have been for the past couple of years. I’ve already told them everything, from the very beginning. They refuse to listen, I refuse to give in and spew the nonsense they are trying to feed me instead of the truth I already know, then we all get frustrated and eventually...we start the cycle again. Circles, we are just going on and on in these fucking circles and it does annoy me, but I guess I have accepted it to a certain degree - I’m stuck. This is my life now, an eternal retelling of the hell I’m trapped into, while being trapped within said hell.

I am lost here, Chase, lost and blind. But I keep moving, even if I know how it is all going to end, I still walk. I walk towards you, mi amor. You are my North, my compass in a world without poles, paths or direction. Ever since we were kids I’ve been doing that. You gave me purpose in a pointless world, a home in a deserted land, a glimmer of Hope among absolute darkness...so I’ll do my part, I’ll take my medicine, I’ll go to my appointments, I’ll write my letters. I’ll be good, I swear, for you, for the kids, for my sister - who bends over and backwards for me, even if I can’t seem to forgive her-, hell, even for my doctors, who refuse to actually listen to me but also refuse to give up.

Oh, before I go, in case you were wondering why I had the mental breakdown: I was telling the doctors about our wedding and it hit me that it was the 31st. I got quiet for a second, a bit teary and informed them that that day would have been our ten year anniversary. I laughed when Dr. Freias pointed out that we got married on Halloween and told her it was on purpose, that you love this holiday so much that you begged me for months to let you proclaim your undying love for me in front of our few friends, both of us being in full costume in our tiny backyard.

That’s when it all went sideways. “Undying love”. Dr. Willson just had to remind me with a smirk that we are divorced. I would like to explain in more detail what happened after that but truth be told, I don’t know. Last thing I remember was staring at him, my whole body shaking and then, dropping under water. It's a familiar sensation by now, but it never gets less disturbing or less violating. When I was back in control of my body, the room was a mess, I had three men holding me down and Dr. Willson’s forehead was bleeding.

I do not forgive him for the unnecessary remark about my civil status but I do regret, greatly, ever hurting him and I appreciate him not quitting. I don’t know why he wouldn't, I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with a new smug asshole who thinks they have the right pill and therapy combination to fix my unfixable brain. At this point in my life, I will always rather stick with the devil I know than the devil I don’t, and besides, Richard is no devil. I should know.

It’s late now, almost 8, so I’ll send this to Dr. Freias and be on my way to bed. See you there, my love.

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Link to all the chapters in chronological order, here. Link to the last chapter, if you can even call it that, here.

Well. Here’s the thing. I am too broke for therapy and too uninspired to write anything original that could probably be more nurturing to my soul than a fanfic that I started 2 years ago...so I’m here, back to my bullshit. And also, Sean is finally dropping some new crispy fresh ego content so I guess...I’m doing this. I’ll be posting daily, the quality will be shit, there might be no actual progress to the plot and it is going to be mainly me just using Stacy to vent. I have little to nothing going on in my life right now, and I vaguely remember I used to get joy from writing so in order to get even the slightest bit of serotonin, I set myself the goal of writing everyday, no word minimum or special prompt in mind, I’m just going to write, and if it’s good, great and if nobody reads, fine. I’m just trying to get back whatever pieces of myself I can find, which I think is a feeling this character can very much relate to. That might be why I’m returning to her.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I was very invested in her before I fell in love and then I was so engrossed in my relationship that I completely forgot about her and then I had my heart broken in a million tiny pieces, losing any kind of sense of self or purpose in life and now, almost six months after my first real breakup, I’m trying to rebuild myself and I secretly hope that going back to Stacy, a character that was very dear to me, I can find whatever it is that I’m looking for. Maybe, but who’s to say?

Anyway, if you read all of that bullshit (and I mean the whole post, not just my after-chapter ranting), I feel like I owe you some kind of reimbursement for emotional damages. Sadly, I’m poor, so all I can offer you are memes. You can slide on my DMs for your payment of memes. Do not feel the need to ask me how I’m doing, I am doing Fine...in the sense of I will not be yeeting myself from a rooftop any time soon, no matter how sad I might sound, I’m just a whiny bitch using writing as a coping mechanism. I’m okay, like not really, super mega hyper ok but I’m ok. If you’re concerned, I appreciate you but don’t be. I’m writing to deal with my feelings, that’s like, healthy, right? So yeah, we good.

see u tomorrow

❤️Tag list❤️: @amyxmiaplay @beckofthewoods @closedworldofmathiel @darktrash-drash @fanfictionrecommendations-com @flyingfishflopsthings @fruitycasket @hiimizzyxoxo @hishex @scarlet-mangata @mcomegalletas @mijako98 @mysterious-cupcake-ninja @mysticalanimallover @novasingalaxies @plutoandpolaris @probablyghosting @randomartdudette @saltyweirdbi @scarlet--raven @septicuniverse @skyewardlight @thevampireauthoress @youllnevertaketheskyfromme @rats-this-username-is-taken

#Stacy Brody #Chase Brody #Jacksepticeye #Antisepticeye #Unaddressed Letters

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lunaschild2016 · 7 years ago

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Worth Fighting For Chapter 44 - Testing Limits

Rating: M (violence, smut, language, references to abuse and violence)

Romance/Tragedy

He was ruthless, cunning and completely committed to protecting his city but her arrival to Dauntless called everything he ever thought he believed into question. Duty and following orders were no longer enough. They both found more than they ever thought possible. They both found something worth fighting for. Eric/OC AU M Tragedy/Romance

@kenzieam@ericdauntless@jojuarez26@jaihardy@iammarylastar@captstefanbrandt@badassbaker@readsalot73@fuckthatfeeling@dani5102@beltz2016@beautifulramblingbrains@affabletimelady@irasancti@meganbee15@meganbee15@lauraaan182@gylisaa@scorpio2009@bookgirlthings@pathybo@violetsonthelam XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Chapter 44 - Testing Limits Eric

“I am encouraged by the results of both classes this year. I know there was some…” Max pauses and looks over the top of his tablet in Four’s then my direction pointedly “...disagreement about the new rules for fights. While I admit there were a significant amount of injuries this year there also have been some surprising results.”

My lips thin a little, though I couldn’t argue with that.

Going into training, before Kat came along, I hadn’t thought twice about the fight changes. In fact that was one aspect I was fully on board with. It would sniff out weakness but also build strength.

Before Kat I hadn’t cared about how it would foster brutality in conjunction with the knowledge of cuts happening.

Fuck, I had even looked forward to it.

I still loved the fight aspect even if I hated seeing Kat hurt at all. But it made her fucking come alive and stronger. Even her sister had proved that given the right motivation it could be done. It showed the strengths and weaknesses of them all.

“That being said we have some difficult decisions to make. I would like full reports from all the instructors on each initiate based on the criteria we established before training began. I am also offering the opportunity for mentions of any standouts to be listed. I don’t just mean the good I also mean the bad. After each of you has worked out the scoring, submit that to leadership for final review. You have until the end of the day tomorrow to get those ranks in and the day after that we will announce the cuts.” Max instructs with a firm and gravel tone.

He dismisses us but motions for me to stay behind.

“Eric, during your evaluations I would like you to leave out your estimate of the attack during capture. I will be adding my own personal observations and I believe the other three instructors will be adding theirs as well. Being the target of the attack, your appraisal could be called into question and we don’t want that. Am I understood?”

I take a moment to think it over but nod to him. It is a smart way to go about things. “Understood Sir.”

“Good. Now about Visiting Day. I will need you to make the speech to our initiates in regards to what we are expecting. As always you will be expected to keep an eye on things but I don’t expect you to engage with any of the families.” Max smirks at my pained look but then he gets serious. “Coincidentally, there is a rumor that Andrew Prior has mentioned attending tomorrow. Should that be the case I would like close eyes, preferably those we trust, on not only him but also for him. It would not do to have a leader of another faction have something befall him while on our soil. Especially right now.”

I felt a stirring of something at this news. A mix or nervousness and pleasure along with a tension at the stress of the entire day. “I will personally see to it then. Where is this rumor coming from, if I may ask?”

Max had turned after I gave my assurance and was looking back at something on his tablet. “It was overheard while he was mentioning something to Marcus’ assistant during the meeting yesterday.”

Relief coursed through me that the source wasn’t from my conversation with the elder Abnegation man. “Well then I will make sure to have eyes during the day.”

“I am sure you will.” Max replied dismissively. “Be sure to remember our conversation from this morning.”

With that he turned completely signifying he was done with the conversation.

Like I was going to forget that conversation and what he implied on many levels. With a sigh I went to my office to work on scoring and rankings until Chase could meet me to discuss the plans for the night.

I was already planning on getting dangerously close to being anything but discreet with what I wanted to do for dinner. I realized I was testing myself badly by planing to have Kat alone in the apartment. But we had things to talk about and they weren’t things that could be discussed in front of either of my friends.

Chase joined me a few hours later with his own scoring and rankings while we went over the plans for tonight.

“Our best option is just to keep an open feed to view their progress but have a unit ready to mobilize should the need arise. I thought about having a few of our guys tail them but Four will be looking for that.” Chase wasn’t any happier with what was going down tonight.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes in frustration. “If only I could get a hold of some those damn trackers from Erudite. She might not like it but I wouldn’t hesitate to inject her ass in heartbeat.”

Chase chuckled a little but then frowned. “I don’t know that I would trust those damn things though.”

Knowing he was right I let my head fall back against the headrest of my leather chair. “Giving her a phone would be too telling and would make Four suspicious as hell. So couldn’t even use the tracking system on that.” I grumbled moodily.

Chase smiled at me, trying to be reassuring but neither of us liked the situation at all. Our hands were also tied. “You still doing dinner with her at the apartment?”

“Mhmmm.” I reply, purposely not looking up at him and instead going over his scoring and rank suggestions for the Dauntless-born.

“You think you are going to be able to handle that?” I can hear the fucking smirk in his voice without even looking up.

“Are you suggesting I do not have sufficient control to be able to handle it?” I look up and quirk an eyebrow at him.

He breaks out into a wide grin and laughs. “I am suggesting that Kat would tempt the fucking pre war Pope without even trying. I am also suggesting that I saw her determined look at breakfast so you, my friend, might just be in for a world of hurt.”

I groan a little and my face gets a pained look remembering this morning's training session and also how she had seemed seconds from jumping me if given any chance at breakfast. Shaking my head I scowl.

“Well, I am just going to have to risk it. She and I need to have a talk and as much as I am glad you guys have been there for me during all of this..” I trail off meaningfully.

Chase holds up his hands in surrender a half amused and pained look on his face. “Not exactly a conversation I want to be there for either. But if you are going to want to eat anything other than sandwiches or pick up something from the dining hall….”

He trails off looking at his watch pointedly causing me to notice the time as well.

“Shit. Ok, gotta go pick up something to make I guess. You’ll make sure she gets to the apartment?” I ask as I pack everything up hurriedly.

Chase stands, nodding. “I’ll be in control setting up things for tonight and making sure our target doesn’t try and scramble the systems. I will keep an eye out for her though and send a message to Zach when she heads that way.”

I mumble my thanks as we head out of my office, locking up.

There are a few small stores in the compound that sell grocery items. Fancy and complicated was never my style. So I settled for a simple baked chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. I got all of that put in the oven and stove, then did a quick clean up of the apartment, more out of nervousness then anything.

Chase messages me about five minutes before I heard the code being put into the door by Zach. My friend lets Kat in, barely sticking his head in before shooting me a grin and closing the door as he is leaving.

Kat had stopped and turned back to watch Zach leaving. She turned back to me with a frown. “Chase and Zach aren’t coming?”

I give her a tight smile and shake my head as I move closer and take her hand. “Chase has to go over some scoring for his initiates and also has some work to do tonight. Zach is doing a report for Max but is also giving us some time alone.” I answer her honestly and see her blushing but smiles.

“Alone time sounds good.” She bites her lip a little while taking her jacket off.

I take my time to look her over as she tosses her jacket onto one of the chairs. The hairstyle she has chosen suits her and Dauntless. As much as I love seeing her embracing that side of her, my fingers itch to just pull it all loose and let her hair fall around her shoulders and down her back.

But I get why she is wearing it. Why she wants to wear it tomorrow. I pull her with me over to the couch and down beside me. I also take my time to look over the new tattoo she got put on the other side of her head just behind her other ear and smirk at it.

“You like it?” Her voice is breathy as I run my fingertips over it gently. Aware that it will still be raw and knowing she wouldn’t have accepted the numbing cream.

“I love it. Adrenaline and serotonin. The symbols and your hair fit.” I murmur as I brush my lips against her ear. “Although, I think I am going to love messing it up more.” I purr this as I nip her earlobe in between my teeth and smile when she shivers.

“M’kay.” She lets out in a breathy sigh.

I chuckle and pull away before I cup the side of her face and look over her injuries now that she is all cleaned up.

I am pleased to see that Shauna kept her mouth shut and followed orders. She was able to use some of the healing gels and serums to get a good bit of the cuts and damage she has received to go down. Kat will still have a scar through her eyebrow on her left side. Not a huge one but it will be noticeable.

“How are you feeling? Is the pain in your back better? You are still going to be given your meds but I need to know if it is as bad as just after the fight.” I ground out that last part.

I still had plans to make Edward’s life hell if I could. She had at least convinced me not to beat the shit out of him for using her injuries from the attack during the fight. I didn’t care that for anyone else I would have been pissed if he didn’t use it.

She got those because of me. Fuck if I was going to let someone use that against her.

She smiled softly at me and nodded. “It does hurt but it is getting better. I won’t object to the medications you have been giving me though.” She leans in closer to place a soft kiss on my lips.

Maybe she meant to make it quick but neither of us had the strength or desire to pull back from deepening it. Then I pulled her to sit in my lap when the kiss turned hungrier.

Her bottom lip is swollen and has a small cut from where she got a hit, splitting it a little. I flick my tongue out slightly across the cut in a gentle and soothing manner causing her to give a small groan into my mouth.

I gently suck her bottom lip into my mouth before nipping it in the slightest. She gasps and the slight twinge of copper coats our lips before I sooth along her lips again. Her hands grasping at me tighter and arching into me letting me know she had enjoyed that small measure of pain.

It sparked something in me but I fought that back immediately. I couldn't allow myself to enjoy something like that with her. I couldn’t let myself get pleasure from pain, not with her. Never with her. She was too good for something like that and I am already so far below what she deserves.

All thought on my carefully laid out plan of how events needed to go when she got here is going out the window. Driven out by her seeking hands and the passion of her kisses. From the beginning it has felt like she has not only been the match to light a fire that had been dying inside of me, but she is also the igniter fluid. Making it burn inside of me brighter and more out of control than I have ever been or allowed myself to be.

Just when I am about to move my hands under her shirt to cup her breasts, and just as I am thinking of flipping us so that her writhing form is under me on my couch….the alarm I set for dinner goes off.

I pull back breathing hard but Kat tries to bring me back to her. That determined look in her eyes again. I shake my head and grab her hands.

Kat growls and narrows her eyes at me. “I am going to just throw every alarm and phone out of here if this keeps up.”

Damn. The look in her eyes and the husky tenor of her voice almost has me saying fuck it to dinner, talk and her damn scheduled time with Four.

I get my breathing under control and press a kiss to her forehead. “I promise, soon we can just lock ourselves in here and say fuck it to everyone and everything. But not tonight. We have to talk and you need dinner.”

She sighs and wraps her arms around my neck, burying her head in the crook of my shoulder. Nodding she brushes her nose along the skin while my own arms arms wrap around her waist. She inhales deeply against my skin while I run a hand lightly up and down her spine.

I listen and watch for a reaction of pain from her, trying to gauge how bad she is right now.

She fights her natural flinch and tensing but isn’t successful. This in itself gives me the strength to move us away from each other. The moan of pain she tried to hold back that was wrapped up in with the passion had my control snapping back into place.

It seemed the only thing greater than my desire for her is my absolute hate of seeing or knowing she is in pain.

She gives a sigh when I move her to the side of the couch and get up with a clenched jaw. I head to the kitchen to start putting plates together.

“Need any help?” She asks getting up and following me.

I smirk and look to her leaning against the counter. “I thought you are on a kitchen strike?”

She blushes and shrugs. “I don’t mind helping. You did make the dinner.”

I shake my head and hand her a glass of water. “Nah, I got this. Your pills are on the table already. Go take those while I bring out our plates.”

She does what I ask but grumbles while doing it. It doesn’t take me long to dish everything up, grab our silverware and join her at the table.

We don’t speak right away, just content to sit there eating for the first few minutes. She gave a little sigh of pleasure when she tasted the baked stuffed chicken breast I made for us then smiled at me before telling me it was excellent.

Her pleasure and thankfulness had me smiling back at her while my cheeks heated a small amount.

“You did really good in the fight today. I didn’t say it right after. I am sorry for that I just…” I scowl as I cut a piece of my chicken off with a little more force than necessary.

She nods and lays her arm beside mine on the table. We entwine our hands together and she squeezes mine. “I get it. I don’t want you feeling guilty about what I did, Eric. Yes I did it for you but….”

She trails off and holds my eyes with her own, her fire sparking in them.

I get what she isn’t saying.

This is who she is and she would have done it for anyone. Not just me. The thought of her putting herself in danger for anyone including me is enough to make me livid and I work to control my temper.

“I can’t be anything other than what I am, Eric.” She says softly and firmly. Echoing my own words to her from what is feeling like years ago since we first met.

“I don’t want you to be, Kat. I don’t want to change you. I just want to protect you. Even from your own self if that is what it comes down to. I can’t change that is going to be my first instinct. I can’t help it.” I tighten my hold on her hand and my tone is just as serious and soft.

She takes a breath and smiles at me a look flashing through her eyes so mixed with emotion that it is hard to untangle them to figure them out. “Thank you.”

I frown, my head tilting as I try to still sort it all out. “For what, kitten?”

“For not wanting to change me and….” she pauses and a frown creases her face “...thinking because I am a woman, or because of where I came from...that I shouldn’t…..” She trails off and shakes her head. “Just thank you for accepting me.”

Fork and food forgotten, halfway through eating, I pull her to me and my lap.

My heart feeling like it could burst at the moment. I kiss her and put everything I am feeling for her in it before pulling away and cupping the sides of her faces.

“I should be thanking you for the same thing, baby. But you need to know, to remember this when you are so pissed at me you can’t see straight. It will never be because I think you are weak, or can’t handle it or that you shouldn’t. If I wanted someone to bow down to me, to stand aside instead of beside me, I wouldn’t be here now with you. I know that isn’t you but you need to know that where you are concerned, the part of me that needs to protect you isn’t going to be pretty or forgiving. I am going to be a complete and total dick about it Kat because that is me too.”

She shivers in my arms, her hands clutching to my shirt and nods while breathing. “Eric...I can’t...we…” She takes a breath and looks to me, her eyes just golden pools of desire. “We need to have that talk and now.” Her voice drops an octave in husky passion.

I swallow and nod, then we both move to the couch to talk. Holding her I collect myself and my thoughts.

“What I said about not wanting people to talk shit about you after initiation, trying to claim that because of me you got your ranking or job, that is still true. The thing is Kat, they aren’t wrong. I am the type of guy that would do that. If I want something; I get it and will use whatever means to make that happen.” She stiffens and glares at me, then looks to be about to start to talk or tell me off but I hold up a hand to stop her.

“I don’t think for a second I need to at all with you. But that isn’t going to matter to the assholes out there, Kat. It is going to be enough that they know that about me. It is going to be enough that you came from Abnegation so are already a target and thought to be weak. It isn’t going to matter that if leadership even had a hint I did or planned to do anything of the kind we would both be factionless before we could blink. Even when we do announce it or go public, it is always going to be a subject. I can’t prevent that totally but I can make sure you never doubt this and us. I can make sure I never get irrational and doubt it either. So just as much as this would be to prevent someone else saying shit...this is also so you will never wonder. I will never have that dark thought that might fester wondering either.”

Kat got quiet and looking at her hands then nodded. “I can understand all of that. The question is though, what is to stop any of that by us being together like this now? How is being together like this okay but getting physical is what would cause the talk or doubts?”

Shit! Fuck!

Shit...she had me there.

Jesus, while it was sexy as hell she could be so damn logical and rational it was also screwing me up big time. Because she was going to rationalize her way into the bed with me if she kept this shit up.

I groan and let my head fall into my hands. “I don’t know kitten, it just seems like this is the only way.”

“You aren’t being very logical about this, Eric.” Her tone was soft and reprimanding and I seriously felt myself stiffen even more just from that.

I turn my head to look over at her and she has the look of a scolding school teacher. A sexy as shit one at that.

Images flood my mind and just makes this situation so much worse.

My frustration at my naughty thoughts and images snaps. I huff and throw my hands up.

“None of this shit is logical, Kat. It’s emotional as fuck and something I am not used to dealing with. Right now is already bad enough but we add sex to it and it is only going to make it even more so. I don’t want our first time...no...your first time...to have all that shit hanging over it.”

Now she is looking like a chastened student as she looks down frowning. “So what do we do? Maybe we should just…”

Realizing what she is going to say and suggest chills my frustration and I grab her hands growling. “We already said that would hurt more and we both know how I feel about you hurting. So that thought can go right back the way it came.”

I pull her to me and hold her against my chest as my mind whirls and she grips me like she was about to lose me. I try to come up with solutions and compromises.

“Ok.” I say slowly and take a breath. “We aren’t going to be able to keep from being physical. That we have proven today alone. But we are both fucking adults here and we should be able to maintain some kind of damn control.” I grind this out as I am internally railing at myself. “So we set a limit. We don’t go all the way until after initiation and when you are ready. I am not saying without this I would expect you to want to do it now I am just saying that for sure we aren’t until after initiation.”

I feel her smile against my chest and gives a quiet laugh.

“So, no actual sex but anything else is fair game?” Her tone is playfully wicked and it has me groaning internally wondering what I got myself into.

“I guess so.” I mumble as she had turned her head and was nuzzling my neck.

As much as I wanted to let her continue and as much as there were things I wanted to do. I knew we couldn’t.

“Baby” I move her back and tilt her head to look at me. “We don’t have much time before you have to go. I was informed you are going to be serving your punishment with Four tonight.”

She nodded and a flash of apprehension went through her eyes. “He told me this morning.”

My jaw tenses and I nod at the thought of her being dragged into this but more that I couldn’t be there if something went wrong.

“Do you know what you will be doing?” I ask trying to keep the worry and anger from my voice.

There is that apprehension again and a brief flash of something that I feel like I might be imagining. Guilt?

“I was told the assigned punishment will be going with him outside of the compound. Something about checking cameras.” She replied and looked away worriedly.

Fuck! I feel like kicking Four’s ass for this. She is worried about having to go out there again after the attack most likely.

“Yeah, that is what I heard too. Just promise me that you will be careful please? As much as I hate to admit it at all, Four is a good soldier and is skilled. If he thinks there is going to be trouble, listen to him.” Christ did it pain me to admit that.

“I will promise to try and be careful. I can also promise to try and not let him piss me off so that I refuse, just out of being stubborn.” She has a playful smile on her lips and while that does make me smile a little I am still too damn worried too feel any kind of relief at her words. Then she puts her hands to the side of my face, her hazel eyes sparkling with those mixes of greens and gold.

“I need you to know that if I could, I would have you by my side tonight when I am out there. I want it to be you…” She hesitates and a frown tilts her lips while her forehead is marred by deep worry lines “...but it has to be this way. I need to do this.”

There is a steel and fire to her words that cause me to frown but her words, of her wanting me there and not Four, sends a deep pleasure coursing through me.

“Fuck it. You can be late.” I growl just before I pull her to my mouth and devour the moan that escapes her.

I get to experience what I had wanted to do the moment she walked into my apartment.

Her under me while being pressed into my couch. I have another of those moments where I seriously don’t know that I can or will let her leave.

Kat has me so wrapped around her and she doesn’t even know. I almost thank all the gods for this when her hands move to dig into my back and pulls me closer to her.

If she only knew there would be no stopping her.

#divergent #fanfiction #au #divergent fanfiction #eric coulter fanfiction #eric coulter #oc #eric x oc #tris prior #four eaton #jai courtney #chloe moretz #liam hemsworth #aaron taylor-johnson #shailene woodley #theo james

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ecotone99 · 5 years ago

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[MF] Drugs - Death - And Loneliness at a music festival - Pt 1

Hello!

This is the first part of a true story I have been writing and I want to get some feedback or provide it to people who would be interested in reading where it goes.

If you manage to get to the end of this, thanks for taking the time. It's appreciated.

There are half a million people scattered around this small island which you have called home for almost a week. Worn down by days on end of dancing you are continually collapsing into make shift camps that have slowly degraded into the accumulated trash that surrounds them. The same could probably be said about degrading state of your organs.

Being in one place under the effect of so many substances for so long you begin to forget what it was like outside the island. That coupled with months of travel, the idea of your home life is now just a distant memory or even maybe just some fantasy of a life you probably never had. It’s funny how your mind forgets so quickly what it’s like to have something you never went through the pain of loosing. if only it worked that way in reverse.

You spend the daylight hours working. Online over a tethered mobile connection which competes desperately amongst everyone else who managed to keep electricity surging through their now battered and most most likely water damaged warranty voided devices. Destroyed in service of reporting to their FOMO friends the highlight reel of their previous nights or the heavily censored & altered reports of their activities to their loved ones some distance away. Like your internet connection, you also are barley working. You can hardly collect a coherent thought to have a superficial conversation let alone automate some infrastructure in a foreign land to keep some companies electronic ship syncing. However you work, just long enough to stave off the heat and your guilt from taking a pay check that might not be deserved.

The night creeps on and with crowds scurrying to the headlining act,,“Mumford and Sons” a band you know from the radio and maybe if you paid attention you could recall the lyrics to their song as they came on and have some fun singing along while trying not to trip over every second sentence.The night however has other plans for you as you have just taken some uncrushed MDMA bought from some very lued and very attractively sounding South Africans which you met on walk between stages surrounded by a conspicuous dirty kids pool. This pool was too dirty to swim in, so it must be serving as some kind of landmark to help someone who was looking for something find something.True to that observation, you bluff a story about someone pointing you to this pool in search of a better time which they successfully buy and after looking you over once or twice they provide you like many others their supposedly last bag of “we brought too much and thanks it would of gone to waste” for a festively appropriate price of €50. Conveniently packaged but with the final step of pulverising it into a consumable powder missed. The kind of powder that has a granularity where you can control your dosage and slowly step it up if required, but this time it’s just rocks.

You make great decision of eating some of them whole and that pink domino shaped pill someone at your campsite handed you which probably was made that way with the intention for you to only eat half at a time. Damn, at this stage your serotonin receptors which have already gone on unpaid stress leave have been called back into action with the promise of a bonus and better working conditions. Now is a good time to take those mushroom pills you have in your pocket after all they are in these gel caps and it’s such moist conditions in your pocket that they could probably dissolve away. That or the incoming overflow of euphoria might be too much for you to not just give them away to the next most beautiful passer by who asks for them or looks a little too deserving.

Mumford start playing. Wow, who are these guys, instantly you are transformed into a Danty teenager who has only ever fantasised about the love their favourite musicians sing about. But you are alone. So alone, all these people, they smile, you smile, maybe a little too much. They retreat as you approach oh no, don’t scare anyone.

Remember Europeans only know of non alcohol induced intoxication within the confines of some boring yet seductive techno dungeon, which you can find over at another stage called the colosseum along side a Russian roulette of party consumables that will either add to your experience or allow you to even be able to have one at all. I am not sure how many people this night filled that course compacted powder pill which resembles a miniature dishwashing pellet into their revolvers spun the barrel and successfully blow away their brains for 4-6 hours against the odds of spending the night vomiting or trying to escape an IV drip and the faces of their concerned friend. For the ones who run the gauntlet at the colosseum for hours on end sober I am not sure how they do it, but then again as time goes on I feel the same way about life as it seems be becoming it’s own techno dungeon with me on the hunt for deeper beats and higher quality consumables.

Ahh man these songs are emotional and you are leaking emotion, you try to hold it together but it’s as if you are one giant pinyata being beaten by Mumford words about a lost love and hoping to not spill everything out all over the ground. No one wants to be the one who breaks down in a crowd full of people, you are also too mangled to invent a reason as to why for any would be heros or heroines to cover up the fact you may of just dosed too hard or you simply can’t handle your drugs. Can’t handle your drugs? Wait a minute, you know deep into the depths of your soul that that could never be you and that blind belief alone is probably was has stopped you from loosing it so many times before. Now we are told drugs are bad in highscool but when it comes to how bad and how much someone can handle, there are only real two camps which people can fall into. One being the conservatives who only take small dosages and either don't get the full experience they could be having or have to lie about how intense it was. Or the overconfident who secretly believe they are superhuman and trust their bodies way too much , the ones who have taken their now inverted belief in drugs being bad way too far. They could also be secretly trying to hurt themselves or don’t really think too much about the possibilities and just don’t give a fuck. It is pretty obvious which camp you fall into, but why may need a little more introspection. Oh it is always fun to laugh at the people who think they know how much they can handle and religiously stick to their prescribed dosages. It is as if their physiology remains the same between rolls as well the quality control and manufacturing processes in the clandestine laboratories these substances are made in will some how result in some consistency of potency or purity. Let’s not even consider the claim that their “guy” back home gets “good shit” something you pride yourself on, but have no objective way of determining. You can laugh at yourself as hard as you laughed at your friend when he told you he gets it from the guy who makes it. Those people you can happily grab the hand of and comically walk over to the overconfident camp and cheer them on the next time they spin the drug wheel of fortune which features prizes ranging from broken relationships to permanent states of psychosis. Oh man that is a little grim, 99 percent of the time it won’t be that grim, but you remain diligent in your duty to remind yourself and others that on chance it can be, and when you boil it down that’s all it is, one giant dice roll.

You definitely have given the wheel of drug fortune a good spin today and with it still in motion you are try to keep it together while hard papermache shell of yours starts to cave you slowly starting to believe it’s not going to stop on the “greatest night ever” panel. You have never really lost your shit, but I guess this your time and it is going to be to fucking Mumford And Sons. Damn. Your eyes begin to water so you stare into the sky in an attempt to stop them beading down your face and they begin to form miniature pools with your ever expanded pupils serving as the black holed window into your soul they are pouring out of. At that point in the blurry silent sky, crystal clear psychedelic coloured bombers come flying over as if those mushroom pills you ate earlier yelled broken arrow through a military radio and blurted the co-ordinates of the main stage declaring that the assault on your emotions had taken too many casualties and there was no way to retreat. Oh no its about to all go down. You were already trying to plough your way out of the seas of entranced onlookers with beady eyes that reflected the words of the songs that you were trying so hard to block out. You increase your pace in a feeble attempt to escape a blast radius you know moves with you. You need to get away from any would be saviours, it would be better to OD than to have to deal with someone who is probably bored out of their mind by this point in the festival who has decided to take on saving your life as their form of entertainment this evening. at past festivals you have seen those sorry souls who have to endure someone wasting their month long accumulation of serotonin by continually grabbing their shoulders and screaming “are you ok” at them as they are shaken back and forth or trying to force feed them water as they prop them up and rock them to the music while they channel their inner 3 year old with their first ragdoll. It could be even worse where a would be mother teresa takes you to the medical station where the volunteer overnight paramedic toys with it the idea of sending you off to a hospital for some treatment which would result in a night of your stomach being pumped and you contemplating weather your insurance will cover recreational self destruction. If it all goes bad you can hope that someone just makes sure you are passed out in an out the way place and in a position where you can’t choke on your own vomit.

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#Blogger #Story

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patriciavetinari · 5 years ago

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Long post, personal crisis

Sorry I don’t know if I can use the Keep Reading thingie on mobile. Tw: suicide mention. Please don’t reblog. Replies ok.

I think I basically just realized or at least spent significant time thinking about a definite weakness of mine that I should and want to deal with - it’s the horrible toxic jealousy/perfectionism that I feel, and the poisoning strive to be brilliant and recognized for it.

You know those posts and feelings about new hobbies - if you try one and are not immediately amazing at it, you never practice or try again? I believe I have some horrible exagerrated version of that. I feel it even around people, especially in new groups, beit online or offline. This fuckinf need to best, brilliant, expert, I want to cause awe and amaze people.

I think it also might very much be connected with me growing up and prett much being fat, having to prove my worth to people around me, having to be funny, witty, smart one, which I’ve tried so hard to always be and yet I obviously can’t always be like that, plus I can fucking feel capitalism making me duller, taking away my creativity and imagination (then again, is it just the horrible me just looking for excuses for not developing self?).

What triggered it is the online rpg community that I’m part of but I’m sort of a wallflower, still kind of new, and not very good and the particular theme of that rpg (star wars). Yet it’s filled with brilliant creative people, one of them whips out poetry on the whim and I read that thread just now and absolutely broke down because I can’t do that. And I need to outshine that person immediately, I need to be better, I need to win over others and evoke awe.

I hate this feeling. Not that person - I try very hard to focus on the fact that other people being good at something creative is good and wonderful and go them. That is the right thing to think, yet I immediately spiral into this anxiety and perplexion - how can I outdo them and at least be equal, at least be loved and appreciated just as much? Is the lack of love and appreciation? I so feel like a worthless third wheel. Talentless, useless, dull, background npc.

It’s like those positive posts “one person being beautiful does not stop me from being beautiful”, but again, extremely exagereated and with activities AS WELL AS looks. Is it the lack of purpose? The general perfectionism? I don’t know what I want to do with my life and who I want to become, when I contemplate going to college I have no idea what do I want to study. Everything. Nothing. I don’t want to study or practice, I want to immediately be good at everything.

And it’s the same with most such encountera both online and real life. Instagram is horrible in its own rite, but when I just joined it I felt exactly the same about those makeup routines. I bought so many products, I tried, I actually tried there since it was something I did every say, and then I realised I have hooded eyes and will never actually be able to show off instagram-worthy eyelids, and I had breakdowns over this.

It’s the same with almost every fuckinf hobby I encounter, I try to make it if not my monetized brand, then my fun personal mastery. It was the same with yoga (still is, I want to be Amazingly Flexible Fat Person), smoothie bowls, photography, calligraphy, drawing, poetry, writing (even though I don’t have a single finished fan or original work yet I call myself a fuckinf writer). It was even same with relationships, hoping to be able to be a hoe/sugar baby both for the possible pleasures and material side AND thw recognition of A Skill to Seduce, I guess (I’m fat and never been asked on a date, so guess how that is going, I’m completely clueless around flirting). Same with music, style, running aesthetic blog, running a livejournal blog (yeah, this has been going on since LJ era), even running a twitter, or instagram, or any social media, or learning to speak in accents, or dancing, knitting, embroidery and other crafts. Lately I see “witchy stuff” trending in my feed, so obviously I’ve already looked into that.

But I think it’s the creative outlets and being absolutely dull at them, not being able to Produxe Content - not even for monetizing – bur just Not Having a Thoughts is what pains me so much. I’m not fun, not interesting. Especially when there are Brilliant People in close proximity. Even those who would be able to recite poetry if not come up with it on the spot. Those people are so amazing to me I want to fucking kill myself for not being One of Them. I hate it.

It’a slightly better with my work, as I’m sort of an expert in my team by now, people ask me for help a lot and it sends me beaming, I like helping, being the expert, Offering a piece of my mind, but my work is not creative, it’s horrible, it’s ruining my sense of humour, my mind, and it’s completely useless outside that specific field and my colleagues. I’m fun to them because I’m smart abour our job and sassy but it’s horrible job. And I’m bad at everything else. I have no hobbies, no personality outside work.

And even at work I’m vulnerable. I had lunch today near the French team, they were speaking French, and I spent time regretting I don’t speak French. I “only” speak three languages. English is my third one. I go absolutely fucking stellar when native speaker compliments my English, vocabulary and all. Do I struggle without recognition? Do I need constant pats on the back? Am I good enough? Am I trying to prove my worth no matter to whom? Am I trying to please or entertain, be useful?

I want to be brilliant. I want to be sure of what I like to do, of what my actual hobbies are, I want to find out who I am so I can be in contact with other People With Hobbies and be content with our differences, be able to just be happy for another persons talent, and enjoy it, and recognize them instead of turning the spotlight onto myself while having nothing to say and demanding applause. I will always support people having phases, pickinf up and putting down hobbies when they feel like it, but I want at least a little bit of permanence in myself, at least for a moment, I want to try and find out my actual interests, not trends I fall for desperately trying to be relatable and marketable and presentable and acceptable.

I want to find myseld and be happy with myself. And fuck, I want brilliance and recognition and applause. Maybe it’s a form of craving love and attention, but I want it. I want to be creative, good at something, brilliant. I even feel like all my interests are Like That, not genuine, like some sort of Imposter syndrome subcategory, Trying To Be Liked. Yes, I was that kid that was no trouble and acted so mature. Read books to keep out of way. No serotonin to speak of.

I can’t say I hate myself, I just feel lost, lonely, not an unfinished work - a not even started one. I feel like empty shell, and there is a person lost deep inside that shell that I desperately want to meet and I hope one day I can.

#please don’t reblog #personal #crisis #tw: suidice #long post

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timclymer · 5 years ago

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How to Give an Erotic Massage: Massage Oils

Why massage oil?

A lot of people think grabbing some hand cream or body lotion would do just fine for a massage, or worse (shudder) doing a “dry” massage. If you want this erotic massage to actually reach the erotic point, you need real massage oil; something that will absorb a bit into the skin, soften it, but also allow you to keep smooth, steady movements with your massage.

You also want your massage oil to be something that you use only for erotic massage. You want to get to the point where you can take a whiff of the oil and have your body ready to rumble. You want to walk into the room the next day, catch the merest leftover scent of the massage oil, and smile at the memory of what you did in that room the night before. You want to put one small drop of that massage oil behind your ear, so that when you and your partner are out on the town, at a party or a business meeting, maybe in a restaurant, he’ll catch the scent as it wafts past him, and drive him insane until he can get you alone. Lubriderm cream is not going to do that for you!

But let’s back up a bit here, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.

A Brief History

Oils and aromatherapy have been around for a long time. Just look in the Bible. Remember when Mary Magdalene anointed Jesus’ feet? Not only was she applying essential oils, but was doing so through massage. Mary knew the power of massage. It’s a way to relax, relieve stress, show interest, and “rev the motor”, so to speak.

Oils have been around a lot longer than Biblical times, though. About 2700 years before the birth of Christ, the Chinese were using herbs and burning oils.

The Egyptians used oils in the mummification process, then eventually applied the same herbs and oils to everyday life. In fact, Cleopatra used the exotic and erotic Jasmine oil to distract Marc Antony during business meetings (Ladies, take note!).

In India, practitioners of ayurveda, a form of medical therapy, employed the use of aromatherapy and massage. Greeks used oils for aromatherapy, cosmetics, and medicine. Romans utilized the oils after baths, and the Aztec had a vast array of herbs and plants. In 980 AD, in the Far East, the art of distilling alcohol led to the development of more modern-day perfumes.

I believe it wouldn’t be too far-reaching to say that nearly every culture at one time or another took advantage of nature’s resources and used oils and massage.

How Do They Work?

Essential oils work in at several ways. First, and probably most obvious, is scent. The nose is an incredible organ. Ever notice how a fleeting aroma wafting across the street can take you back in time 20 years, to when you first encountered that smell? You can recall that instant in time in vivid detail; much more detail, in fact, than a photograph could bring back. Have you ever encountered a scent that reminded you of a particular person? Have you ever found yourself attracted to someone and not known why, only to find out later it was the scent he or she was wearing that aroused your interest? There are good reasons for that. The nose is directly hardwired to the brain.

When a scent is inhaled, the particles of the aroma are picked up by nerve endings at the back of the nose. The signal is then passed up to the brain, specifically to the limbic system.

The limbic system is home of the hypothalamus, which in turn houses the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland, among other things, is responsible for hormone release. See where I’m going with this?

Nose – to – limbic system – to – hypothalamus – to – pituitary gland – to – hormone release

There are different neurochemicals that are triggered by smell and cause mood changes. The first one is familiar to just about everyone- endorphine. Endorphin is the body’s natural high. Endorphines are most commonly associated with pain control. Everyone has heard of the person who is shot and doesn’t know it, or the person who has broken a limb and feels no pain. Thank the great hormone endorphine for that! Endorphines are actually stronger than morphine, which is probably why the word breaks down as “endo”, which means “within”, and “phin”, which means “morphine”; literally the word means “the morphine within.”

But pain control isn’t the only job of endorphines. Elevated levels of this hormone is seen after exercise and sex, as well. It’s associated with feelings of invicibility, satisfaction, calmness, and attunement with the body.

The other neurochemical triggered by smell is serotonin. Serotonin is a calming hormone. It is associated with sleep, mood, locomotion, feeding, and anxiety.

Is it any wonder that aromatherapy is a great way to relax, calm, and entice?

So, now the nose has picked up on the scents of the oil and has triggered a mad rush of hormones through the body. That, you may say, is a temporary state. One could get used to the scent of the oil and it will have less impact, or over the course of an evening the effects of the hormones will dissipate. But there’s more. The oils are also absorbed in the fat cells, and when essential oils are used in massage, whether erotic or not, the medicinal components of the herbs are also availed. Combine that with the effects of the massage itself -stimulation of circulation and heat production, not to mention relaxation of tense muscles – and you have an excellent vehicle through which to completely spoil your partner with luxury.

Introduction to Essential Oils

I personally believe that massage using essential oils is one of the most erotic feelings in life. As I said before, the massage itself, along with the scents, is magical enough, but what I think really makes massage with essential oils so special is the care that is being shown by the masseuse.

When you partner takes the time to select, mix, and then apply oils to your body, he or she is telling you that you are worth the time. Your partner is telling you that you’re worth spoiling, worth pampering, and that he or she thinks you’re beautiful.

Psychologically, essential oils and massage do as much for the soul as the actually physical benefits, which are no small things.

The main focus of this composition is information on essential oils used for massage. Keep in mind that all these oils are used for other medicinal reasons and in other ways than massage. For our purposes, though, I will try to keep the information on massage oils, erotic and otherwise.

At the end of this report you’ll find a small guide to different oils, their basic scents, and their attributes in regards to massage, as well as good base oils to use in your mixture.

A Word of Caution

My favorite base oil is almond oil, but there are a surprisingly large number of people allergic to nuts. DO NOT USE ALMOND OIL WITH ANYONE WHO HAS A NUT ALLERGY! You want to send your partner into throes of passion, not the emergency room with anaphylactic shock.

When choosing the essential oils for your massage oil:

• Pick just a few; you don’t want a mishmash of aromas.

• Make sure the essential oils, as well as the base oil, are not only edible, but tastes good and are not harmful to mucous membrane.

• Be aware of the properties of the essential oils you use. Some may heat up, which can be a lot of fun, but might be a little intense for some people. Some are astringent, some can raise blood pressure, and some just taste horrible.

• This may sound like a “duh” statement, but find out what your partner likes. If your partner absolutely hates mints, then massage oil made with peppermint is not going to put him in the mood for love.

Blends

There are a few things to keep in mind when blending oils. First and foremost is many essential oils have medicinal properties and should be used with caution, especially during pregnancy.

After the list of oils and their attributes at the end of this narrative, there will be a list of oils to avoid during pregnancy, some of which may not be listed in the list of oil attributes.

The second thing to keep in mind is that oils should never be applied directly to the skin, unless you have been instructed to do so by an experienced aromatherapist. Base oil must always be used. You want to use about 5 to 6 drops of essential oil for every 10 mL of base oil you use. That comes out to about 15 or so drops of essential oil per liter of base oil.

Oils should be stored in a dark glass bottle – never plastic. You will usually find oils stored in amber-colored bottles or blue ones. Avoid rubber stoppers for your oil bottles. The oils can eat through the rubber.

And speaking of oils eating through rubber, latex condoms will degrade in the presence of oil. Again, your Jimmy hat will not be of any use if you use oils as a sexual lubricant, which is bound to happen during an erotic massage. There are condoms made from plastics that can withstand the presence of oil, so read labels before you buy! Okay, I’m going to reiterate, since I don’t want anyone blaming me if Junior is born 9 months from now: DO NOT USE LATEX CONDOMS WITH OIL LUBRICANTS, AS THE OIL CAN CAUSE THE CONDOM TO BREAK!

Moving on…..

Store the oils in a cool dry place. If stored correctly, the oils should last a year or so.

After mixing your oils, let your mixture sit for a day or so, or at least a few hours, and then go back and smell it again. You might find that the finished product smells a little different from when you first put it up. You can adjust your mixture accordingly. Play around with the oils, find a mixture that smells good to you and experiment with it. If you added 3 drops of sandalwood and 1 drop of chamomile one time, the next time you might want to try 2 drops of each, instead.

By the way, the combination of sandalwood and chamomile is an excellent relaxing oil mixture.

In general, men tend to enjoy spicy, woody smells, while women are known for favoring floral scents. A blend of both, then, would be an ideal massage oil that would please both partners in a heterosexual relationship. This, however, is a general statement. I’m a woman, and I prefer the spicy aromas over the floral ones, and I know some men who love the scent of some flowers. Regardless, for him/her relationships try a mixture of jasmine and sandalwood (both very erotic oils), or rose and frankincense.

Men like scents such as cinnamon, ginger, clove, nutmeg, and coriander. Women seem to lean towards aromas such as rose, jasmine, nerolis, and ylang-ylang. But, like I said before, this is a generality and the real fun comes from finding what you and your partner enjoy.

My all-time favorite massage oil is a combination of lavender oil, clove oil, cinnamon, peppermint, and rosemary oil, in a base of sweet almond oil. This blend not only smells awesome, but also produces just a touch of heat that can really drive you wild. It also tastes great!

You might want to try these other combinations:

– For relaxation try clary sage, lavender, and lemon. Chamomile is excellent for sleep, so try a mixture of chamomile and sandalwood, or chamomile and lavender to help you relax.

– Ginger and, believe it or not, black pepper, are great for sore, achy muscles.

– For an uplifting massage, try a blend of lemon, mint, and geranium. How about bergamot, peppermint, and lemon? Lavender, orange, and peppermint is a very cooling combination, as well, and gives a nice floral scent.

– For romance there are several mixtures you can try. Bergamot, sandalwood, and jasmine for one. The Kama Sutra recommends jasmine and grapefruit. Ylang-ylang, lavender, grapefruit, lemon, and neroli are also great together. If you’re really ambitious, go for a combination of rosewood, neroli, lavender, thyme, and cinnamon or clove.

– Trouble sleeping? Try lemon, marjoram, and vetiver.

Essential Oils

Please keep in mind that all these oils have many attributes, and this is by no means a complete list of essential oils. I’ve picked these oils for their relaxing, sensual, or refreshing qualities. An asterisk after an entry means that that particular essential oil is not recommended for use during pregnancy.

In general, it is a good idea to always consult with an herbalist, doctor, midwife, aromatherapist, or other healthcare practitioner before using any essential oil medicinally. There will be a more complete list of oils to avoid after this entry.

Essential oils that are underlined are particularly known for their sensual attributes. If you notice, most of the “aphrodisiac” essential oils have euphoric and calming effects. This makes sense, as a calm and content state of mind is essential for a good sensual encounter. Combine these erotic oils with those promoting muscle relaxation, and you have a massage partner that is calm, relaxed, and ready for more action.

– Bergamot – Citrus bergamia – This oil has the aroma of bergamot orange that is slightly floral. A very refreshing scent. It is also known as Oswego tea and bee balm. This oil is good for depression, tension, and stress.

– Bos-de-Rose – Aniba rosaeodora – A sweet, floral, woody scent that relieves stress, headache, and depression.

– Cedarwood* – Cedrus atlantica – You will find this a scent that is dry, woody, and sweet. It soothes and calms. Great for arthritis and stress.

– Chamomile* – Matricana chamomila – This oil has a fruity, herbal essence with a myriad of uses. Not only is it great for your hair, it is also wonderful for insomnia, anxiety, neuralgia, burns, pain of rheumatism, gout, sores, sprains, inflamed skin, strains, stress, and nerves, and gives a sense of peace and calm.

– Cinnamon* – Cinnamonum zelanicum – I’m sure everyone has smelled the comforting aroma of cinnamon in apple pie, but I bet you didn’t know it is a wonderful essential oil for exhaustion, stress, and rheumatism. Cinnamon may be a mucus membrane irritant, as are the other spices, so keep that in mind when making oils intended for erotic massage. You might want to use just a small amount in you blend.

– Citronella* – Cymbopogon nardus – This oil has a lovely citrus odor. I’m sure everyone is familiar with its insect-repellent attributes, but it’s also a great tonic for headache and fatigue.

– Clary Sage* – Salvia sclarea – This oil with a nutty fragrance helps fortify a debilitated nervous system. It is also a euphoric and has sensual properties. Some sources site clary sage as being a uterine stimulant, so this must be kept in mind in the case of pregnancy.

– Clove* – Eugenia caryophyllata – Clove is a wonderful analgesic; just ask anyone who’s used it for a toothache. It also has antiseptic properties and is excellent for arthritis pains, as well as sprains and strains. This oil may cause mucus membranes irritation, so again, be wary. In my own personal use of this essential oil, I’ve not found it to be irritating to mucus membranes, but everyone is different and perceives sensations differently.

– Cypress – Cupressus sempervirens – A woody aroma that helps with mental and emotional resolve, as well as rheumatism and varicose veins.

– Frankincense – Buswellia thurifera – This gift from the magi has a heady, spicy aroma. It encourages feelings of peace and wellbeing, calms, deepens breathing, and eases nerves and tension. I liked to use this oil or the resin itself when my children are fearful of boogey men and monsters. When I burn frankincense, I can feel it in my spine. The aroma evokes feelings of safety, and may even chase away evil spirits!

– Geranium* – Pelargonium graveolens – An essential oil with a floral scent. It’s good for depression and nerves; helps to relax. It also benefits the nervous system and women who suffer from PMS.

– Ginger – Zingiber officinale – Ginger has a spicy aroma that for me calms and soothes. My midwife uses ginger in boiling water during births to soothe the laboring mother. She also uses the ginger water to relax the skin. Ginger improves circulation; it’s great for cold hands and feet, so try it in a tub or footbath. It helps with muscle aches and pains, as well as arthritis.

– Grapefruit – Citrus paradisi – This oil, with an obvious citrus aroma, is used for depression and migraine, and as a tonic aid in drug withdrawal. It is a good choice if you’re looking for a refreshing scent.

– Hops – Humulus lupus – Hops is the ingredient in beer that acts as a sedative. Marijuana, which also causes sedation, is a relative of hops. Hops is an analgesic and helps neuralgia, nervous tension, bruising, and insomnia. It’s also a skin softener.

– Jasmine – Jasminum officinale – This oil has an erotic floral scent. This night-blooming flower eases anxiety and lethargy, while relaxing and calming.

– Juniper* – Juniperus communis – With an earthy, woody scent, juniper clears the emotions and relaxes. It’s also good for cellulitis and rheumatism.

– Lavender – Lavendula augustiform – This oil has a warm floral aroma. It is a relaxant, easing nervous tension, headaches, neuralgia, and muscle aches and pains from rheumatism, and gives a sense of tranquility. It also works wonders on burns, though I do not recommend using the undiluted oil on damaged skin, and before using any oil medicinally, it’s a good idea to check with an aromatherapist, herbalist, midwife, or naturopath.

– Lemon – Citrus limonum – A lemony aroma, of course, that refreshes and cools. It’s great for nerves, varicose veins, and high blood pressure. Anyone who has had a tall glass of ice water with a twist of lemon on a hot summer’s day or while feverish can attest to the cooling, soothing qualities of lemon.

– Lemongrass – Cymbopogon citratus – Citrus. Wonderful for muscle aches, headaches, and stress.

– Lime – Citrus aurantifolia – Another oil with a sweet citrus odor. Great for high blood pressure, rheumatism, depression, anxiety, insomnia, and varicose veins. It revitalizes, too.

– Mandarin – Citrus noblis – An oil with a fruity citrus essence that relieves stress and nervousness, as well as eases insomnia with its tranquilizing effects.

– Marjoram* – Origanum marjorana – This essential oil has a spicy, woody aroma that is helpful with bruises, PMS, anxiety, insomnia, muscle aches, circulation, neuralgia, rheumatism, sprains, and strains.

– Melissa – Melissa officinalis – Also known as lemon balm, it calms nerves and lifts spirits. Its sedative affect helps with depression and insomnia. It’s also good for eczema.

– Myrrh* – Commiphora myrrha – This aroma is woody and earthy, and has wonderful calming affects. It is also used as gargles and mouth rinses for those suffering from gingival problems, but this should be done only under the direction of any herbalist, and the oil never applied directly to the mucus membranes.

– Neroli – Citrus bigaradia – This oil has the essence of blossom of bitter orange. It eases depression, anxiety, and hysteria, as well as nervous tension. It promotes peace and encourages sleep, but is also known for its seductive qualities.

– Nutmeg* – Myristica fragrans – This woody, spicy oil works wonders for arthritis, aching muscles, neuralgia, rheumatism, and poor circulation.

– Orange – Citrus aurantium – Bitter orange, with its citrus aroma, is good for depression, anxiety, stress, dull skin, and muscle spasms.

– Palmarosa – Cymbopogon martini – This refreshing, floral aroma helps with exhaustion, skin infections, and dull skin.

– Patchouli – Pogostemon patchouli – With its musky odor, it lends itself as a sensual essential oil. It is also useful for skin inflammation, fatigue, mature skin, stress, and hair care.

– Peppermint – Mentha piperata – A cooling, refreshing minty aroma is the characteristic of this oil. It is also known for its benefits for inflammation, and migraine, and where it is applied it has an anesthetic affect that increases blood flow. Like the other mints, though, it may cause mucus membrane irritation.

– Rose – Rosa gallica officinalis – A light floral aroma helps to ease tension, depression, and anxiety. It is a “love oil” that is also an excellent tonic for the reproductive organs. Rose also aids in the treatment of eczema and mature skin.

– Rosemary* – Rosmarinus officinalis – This oil has an herbal, woody aroma. It, too, is a “love oil”, but also helps with headaches, fatigue, muscle aches, sprains, nerves, and rheumatism. This is one of the best oils for your hair.

– Rosewood – Aniba Rosaeodora – This floral scent promotes comfort and eases depression. It relaxes sore muscles. It is also known as lemongrass.

– Sandalwood – Santalum album – This wood-scented oil is known as a sexual stimulant. It helps the user to focus on the here and now, enjoying the moment rather than worrying about what could have been; enabling the user to fully enjoy his or her present situation and partner. It is also a sedative that helps with depression and PMS.

– Thyme* – Thymus vulgaris (as well as T. serpyllum and T. pulegioides) – This plant possesses a fresh, herbal aroma. It strengthens nerves, eases exhaustion and rheumatic pains, and soothes muscle aches and arthritis. – Ylang-ylang – Canagna odorata – This oil has an exotic, floral odor that eases stress, anxiety, and high blood pressure. It’s a general tonic that is also well known for its sensual properties.

Base oils

– Sweet Almond – This oil can be used 100%. This is my favorite oil to use as a base. It’s light in texture and color, and has the added benefit of helping with itching, dryness, soreness, and inflammation.

– Apricot Kernel – This oil, too, can be used undiluted. It’s good for sensitive skin and dry skin.

– Avocado – This oil should be used at only 10% (90% should be another oil, such as sweet almond). This base oil is rather heavy and leaves a waxy feel on the skin.

– Avocado Pear – Again, though this oil is good for dry skin, it should be used at 10% and mixed with another base oil.

– Borage Seed – Another 10% oil that should be mixed. It’s good for premature aging, stimulation and regeneration of skin, multiple sclerosis, menopause, heart disease, and eczema.

– Cocoa Butter – This needs to be warmed, as it is solid at room temperature, but it is excellent for dry skin.

– Corn Oil – This oil can be used 100% and is good for all skin types. It’s rather heavy, but also soothing.

– Hazelnut – This oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types. It is also an astringent.

– Jojoba – This base should be diluted to 10%. It’s a wonderful help in psoriasis, acne, and inflamed skin, but can be used on all skin types. It’s also good for the hair.

– Peanut Oil – Edgar Casey sang the wonders of this oil. He recommended it for all types of ailments. Peanut oil can be used undiluted and on all skin types, but be aware that it has a very strong aroma of peanuts and can feel quite heavy on the skin.

– Safflower – This can be used undiluted and for all skin types.

– Sesame Oil – This should be diluted to 10%, but is wonderful on all skin types. It is especially useful for psoriasis, eczema, and arthritis. It also has a strong aroma, though, so smell it before trying it. – Soya Bean – Another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types. – Sunflower oil – Again, another oil that can be used undiluted and on all skin types.

– Wheat germ – While good for psoriasis, prematurely aging skin, and eczema, as well as all skin types, it should be used at 10%.

Remember, use only 5 to 6 drops of essential oil per 10 mL of base oil. This is the total amount. You can combine oils, of course, but in total your essential oils should not exceed the 5 to 6 drops mentioned above.

Pregnancy and Essential Oils

Some essential oils may be uterine stimulants or have other effects that are contraindicated in pregnancy. While this list is pretty close to complete, there’s no way I can be sure I got everything down. In any case, when pregnant, it is always good to check with a midwife, herbalist, or aromatherapist before using any particular essential oil. While some oils are not advised during early pregnancy, some may actually be beneficial in the last trimester or during labor.

• Angelica

• Aniseed

• Basil

• Camphor

• Cedarwood

• Chamomile

• Cinnamon

• Citronella

• Clary sage

• Clove

• Cypress

• Fennel

• Geranium

• Hyssop

• Juniper

• Marjoram

• Myrrh

• Nutmeg

• Oregano

• Parsley

• Peppermint

• Rosemary*

• Sage

• Thyme

*Some sources site rosemary as being contraindicated in pregnancy, while others claim there is no reason it can’t be used. All I can say is to research the herb yourself, talk to some herbalists, and make your own decision.

Other Precautions

If allergic to nuts, avoid base oils that contain nuts, such as sweet almond oil, hazelnut oil, and peanut oil. This may seem an obvious thing to do, but there are some people that will assume because the oil is not being ingested, that it is safe. Unless you’ve had an anaphylactic reaction to nuts, you couldn’t possible understand the need to be extremely careful with these oils.

If you suffer from high blood pressure, avoid hyssop, rosemary, sage, and thyme. Licorice is also known to elevate the blood pressure, but it’s not often used as a massage oil!

Diabetics should avoid angelica.

For those of you who enjoy tanning beds or outdoor tanning, you should avoid bergamot, lemon, grapefruit, ginger, lime, orange, and the other citruses. These can make you hypersensitive to ultraviolet waves.

Oils to be avoided in general are:

• Bitter almond

• Boldo leaf

• Calamus

• Deadly nightshade

• Horseradish

• Jaborandi leaf

• Mugwort

• Mustard

• Pennyroyal

• Rue

• Sassafras

• Savin

• Southern wood

• Stinging nettle

• Tansy

• Thuja

• Wintergreen

• Wormwood

• Yellow camphor

Conclusion

In closing, I want to encourage you all to experiment with essential oils and erotic massage. The skin is the largest human organ; take full advantage of it!

As you experiment with more and more combinations, finding the ones that are right for you in each particular circumstance, you will not only find that you are pleasing you partner in much deeper ways, but you are also learning something about yourself. To honestly enjoying giving pleasure to your partner is what will make you a good lover, and a memorable one. When I think about my lover, it’s his hands that come to mind before anything else. Even as I type I can feel his hands on my neck, massaging the stress of computer work away!

Slow down, enjoy your senses, and enjoy each other.

“And in the end, the love you make is equal to the love you take.”

The Beatles

Source by Mayra M Martinez

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homesolutionsforev · 5 years ago