#if you identify as a cool person: im sorry to break it to you but if you're on tumblr.com you aren't one

[thatonegeekygirl]

it has come to my attention that some of you have become convinced that i am quote unquote "cool". with a heavy heart i must inform you that no, i am in fact not. i have deceived you, my friends, it was all a ruse! a trick! a con! in real life i am a huge nerd, the sort who lugs around 10 pound sci-fi books, spends too much time with headphones in, and memorizes weird al songs. i apologize for giving you all the impression that i am, as the kids say, hip. although really its your fault for falling for it.

[sanguineterrain]

could I request a fic with insomniac!reader and tim? i love your writing im excited to see how you make his character your own! <3

thanks for the request! first time writing tim... kinda nervous like I'm on a first date 🫣 hope you like! this one isn't as mushy gushy as my usual fics (jason) so yeah. also my knowledge of yj is purely through fic 🤙

tim drake x gn!reader. tw insomnia, tim being so awkward but maybe... there are feelings... who can say. tim's character is so interesting to me (probably because I identify with him the most lmao).

****

It's really, really nice of the team to let you stay over tonight. Like, really nice.

You haven't even done much. You're pretty much a nobody in the superhero world, not even a D-list hero. Certainly not anybody that should be hanging out with the likes of Wonder Girl and Superboy and, God, Tim freakin' Drake.

Kon was just overly generous in his cool, brash way, herding you into a spare room after last night's battle. After tonight, you'll politely break away from the team to give them some reprieve. It didn't escape your notice that they didn't hang out last night like they usually do.

You've been awake for an hour now, listening for sounds of life in the corridor. If you were home, you'd already be on the couch watching crappy TV. But you really don't want to run into anyone here.

Maybe you have some chamomile tea leftover from the last time you stayed over. You hadn't stayed the whole night, slipping away without interference as most of the team had gone to their own homes.

You get up, stretching and popping joints. It's always a little cold in the Tower, and it wakes you up as you walk to the kitchen first. You're as quiet as you can be in heating the water and finding the tea.

You take your mug and head to the den. As you enter, you freeze.

Tim turns his head from his place on the couch. The blue light from the TV makes him paler, and his eyes bluer. Sometimes, he looks so much like Bruce Wayne, it startles you.

"Oh," you say, unsure what else to say. Your brain is tired and fried. "I... was just looking for my watch."

That's definitely your dumbest lie. You don't have a watch. Tim sure as fuck knows that.

His eyes flick to your wrist, as if reminding you both how stupid your lie is, then to your mug. He mutes the TV.

You stay where you are. Tim stands, obviously shouldering his own bout of insomnia.

"It's... you can come in," he says, just as awkward as you.

That's comforting. Tim's usually so suave, the few times you've interacted. He's all Gotham Heights, his upbringing never quite sloughing off no matter how many times he's probably tried to blend in and not be so... private school.

"I was just going to bed," he says quickly.

"No, you weren't," you say. You don't mean for it to come out so shrewd. Tim looks a little startled.

"I mean, you don't need to go," you add. "I'll take this to my room. It's fine. Sorry."

"No, I've been here too long anyway. I should work on my case."

Here's the thing. It's not that Tim avoids you because in order to do that, you'd have to see him more than three times a year.

But there's a distance. You've tried not to take it personally, tried to chalk it up to the fact that you're introverted and Kon and Bart are Kon and Bart, and Cassie's too straightforward to beat around the bush, and you've somehow won her over, which is nice.

And Tim is just... cautious. Paranoid.

Those are understatements, and you can't imagine the psychological damage caused by being raised by Batman, but, well, you've seen the previous and current Robins, so you can hazard a guess.

Anyway, Tim kind of acts like an unsocialized cat with you. You once mentioned it to Kon, in nicer words, but he dismissed you, saying, "Whaddya mean? Rob likes you!" Which had assuaged nothing, but whatever.

"I won't be here long," you say, as a last-ditch effort to not make it feel like you're kicking Tim out of his own space. "I just, uh, couldn't sleep."

He watches you in that freaky Bat way, like he's trying to determine if you're a threat or not. Jesus.

"It's hard for me to sleep after a battle," you add, trying to show your belly. That's how it feels, being around Tim Drake. Like you always need to be vulnerable first. Like you're in a battle of wills you didn't know you entered.

He doesn't sit down, but he does say, "Me too."

You nod and drink your cooling tea. "There's more tea in the kitchen if you want. Chamomile."

"I'm... good. Thanks."

You edge over to the armchair diagonal to the couch and sit.

"You can work in here," you say. "Unless, uh, it's too distracting. I'll keep the TV muted."

His laptop is on the other side of the couch. Tim is still, only his eyes moving from you to the laptop.

"I don't wanna push you out," you say.

"It's really fine," he replies immediately.

It's so not fine. This isn't boding well for your insomnia. You're definitely going to be agonizing over this interaction all week.

"I won't bother you," you say.

"I didn't say you would."

Then what's the problem?

Slowly, Tim returns to the couch. You look away, so it doesn't seem like you're watching his every move (you are), nor is Tim clocking your every move (he is).

He settles on the couch and opens his laptop. You drink and try to figure out what's playing on TV. It looks to be a rerun of Columbo. You smile.

"You like Columbo?"

Tim looks spooked that you're still talking to him, but he answers. "Yeah."

"Me too."

You watch Columbo silently look for clues. Tim types, fingers flying over the keyboard. Then his fingers pause.

"I used to watch it with Dick," he says. "When I first became Robin."

You nod, giving him your full attention. "Yeah? He seems like the type."

"He does a pretty good impression of him. He likes detective shows."

"You don't?" you ask.

Tim shrugs. "They're fine. I guess I just hate how predictable they can be."

"Of course the boy genius would say that," you say, smirking.

Instantly, Tim's face turns to stone. He hums, looking back at his laptop. You blink. What happened?

"Sorry. That was a joke," you say.

"I know," Tim says, any trace of warmth gone.

You're startled by the shift. "I don't—I wasn't making fun of you. I mean, you are smart. Really smart."

Tim carefully looks at you. "...Thanks."

You nod clumsily. You should've just stayed in bed.

It's quiet for a long time. You're trying to muster up the confidence to escape to your room when Tim speaks again.

"People have said stuff like that to be facetious. I... reacted without reading your tone."

It's not an apology, but it's probably the closest thing you'll get.

"It's okay," you say.

Tim nods. His shoulders aren't so tense, though his posture is atrocious when he's off-duty.

He gets up and gives you the remote. You take it, smile small. Tim retreats.

"You can unmute it if you want. I don't mind."

So you do, and you and Tim spend the next hour half-watching Columbo and half-watching each other. Eventually, your tea finishes, and the episode ends, so you get up.

"I think I'll try and sleep," you say.

Tim nods. "Good luck."

You hum. "Thanks. Good luck with the case."

"Yeah. Thanks."

You wash the mug and leave it on the dish rack. Then you escape back to your room. You really do feel like you could sleep again. Maybe Columbo reruns are the magic ingredient to a good night's sleep.

[whinlatter]

i MUST hear your thoughts on "im your man" by mitski and how it's the ginny/harry/sirius trio anthem in "beasts"...must hear

what have you done asking me about this...... a great and terrible mistake........ the air is thick with sirens...........

basically i'm your man is an absolutely perfect song about feeling unworthy and undeserving of the love someone gives you, and a feeling of great dread that one day the other person will realise it and leave. it is - for this reason - so eye-wateringly ginny-sirius-harry coded i simply cannot bear it. that whole album (the land is inhospitable and so are we) is heaven and there are so many songs on it that have been absolutely dynamite for getting the juices flowing with this fic (the frost and star are my hinny anthems for chapter 12  👀)

so i am taking a short dissertation writing break to offer an entirely unhinged rant about i'm your man complete with some mild beasts spoilers because apparently i care a lot about this inexplicably. thank you so much for humouring me!

you're an angel, i'm a dog or you're a dog and i'm your man you believe me like a god i'll destroy you like i am

the first verse plays with the idea that there are three tiers of being - dog, man, angel/god - that all exist in relation to each other. the narrator sings the song to put themselves down. you're an angel, i'm a dog - meaning, i'm lowly nothing compared to your pure divine greatness. in the next line, a twist and advance on that idea: you're a dog (faithful, honest, loyal, loving easily and with such trust) and i'm your man (the one who is responsible for you, who you look to protect and sustain you, who is unworthy of that kind of adoration). you believe me like a god - you trust and believe in my power and ability to take care of you and guide you. but then: i'll destroy you like i am - the only real godlike power the narrator identifies with is the capacity for destruction and ruin.

ok partly it's... you know....... the dog thing because i am very on-the-nose. (obviously sirius as padfoot, but also the distinctions in the wizarding world between beings as the moral civilised entities vs the beasts, the wild and lawless and violent magical creatures). but it's also this suggestion of hero worship and adoration from one character to another, and the object of that kind of love struggling to feel worthy of it and fearing the power it has given them over the other person. it's such a huge vibe for how i'm thinking about these characters !! i feel like it works both for harry and sirius' relationship as well as harry and ginny's: the love and reverence harry has for sirius, when sirius is filled with so much self-loathing and guilt and awareness of his own failings as a parent figure, and the way harry comes to love ginny and think of her as this pure singular light and symbol of all his hopes for a bright and good future, which (i think!) would be a lot for ginny to take on and live up to and feel deserving of. there's even shades of it in how i imagine ginny feels about sirius in the flashbacks - little ginny looking up to sirius like he's a god, hanging off his every word, sirius backing away from being responsible for this child's admiration and desire for guidance from him.

i'm sorry i'm the one you love no one will ever love me like you again so when you leave me, i should die i deserve it, don't i

i mean this is a pure sirius verse imo also with such harry shades to it ('i deserve it don't i' pure ootp harry angst). but i see some of ginny in this too ('i'm sorry i'm the one you love' - her wish that she could just be such cool and chill and easy and trying to live up to this idea harry sometimes as of her as so strong and stoic and able to deal with things, and then her feelings when all that comes crumbling down....)

i can feel it getting near like flashlights coming down the way one day you'll figure me out i'll meet judgment by the hounds

the feeling of being hunted! sirius and harry as wanted men! ginny getting found out and caught in her secrets and half-lies! 'i'll meet judgement by the hounds' god. god

people always gave me love others were never to blame after all you believe me like a god i'll betray you like a man

i think of this verse as the sirius and ginny verse. here the narrator locates the source of their unworthiness internally, not in being deprived of love by others, but in something fundamentally broken and tainted inside them. sirius as a character can't blame a total absence of love for what he's become - he was loved, he blames no-one but himself for the loathing he feels for himself. ginny, too, could not have been more loved, both before the TMR ordeal, but also thereafter - she comes from a family that adores her, she is widely liked and admired; but still, there's something missing in her sense of self. i do not wish to spoil future chapters but yeah this is bit is a Big Mood as we come closer to understanding ginny's war and what it asked of her

in chapters 10 and 11 of beasts, i started to play with this idea of the traitor, of a person who has made a great and terrible choice to betray the people close to them and in doing so revealed a true self that was there all along but lay dormant. so far in the fic, i've tried to thread in a lil drip-drip-drip of questions about the self, who a person really ever is, and about the choices characters make because of their sense of who they are, especially moral choices, in a war and under a regime that must, ethically, be resisted.

of sirius, harry, and ginny, so far it's sirius who knows most about what it is to be a traitor: someone who spent the bulk of his life assumed to be a turncoat, who is consumed by his hatred of wormtail and the memory of his treachery, who can't even begin to grasp the layers and dimensions to his own brother's betrayal, and who fundamentally still thinks of himself as a traitor to his best mate, believing himself to having 'as good as' killed lily and james. harry is the one who's full of trust, throughout the war:

'“No,” Harry said out loud, and they all looked at him, surprised. The firewhisky seemed to have amplified his voice. “I mean . . . if somebody made a mistake,” Harry went on, “and let something slip, I know they didn’t mean to do it. It’s not their fault,” he repeated, again a little louder than he would usually have spoken. “We’ve got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don’t think anyone in this room would ever sell me to Voldemort."'

“No, I think you’re like James,” said Lupin, “who would have regarded it as the height of dishonour to mistrust his friends.” Harry knew what Lupin was getting at: that his father had been betrayed by his friend, Peter Pettigrew. He felt irrationally angry. He wanted to argue, but Lupin had turned away from him...'

ginny, of course, knows what it is to be betrayed - by her first real friend, by her own brother. but i just think these two final lines, the twist on the first verse, are such a huge huge mood for drawing some of these ideas to the surface as the plot inches (v slowly lol) forwards - the idea of a character who has had every faith put in them by someone who loves and believes in them, who fears that they wll buckle under the weight of it and betray that love and trust in terrible ways. to betray you like a man - for the great moral sin to be something inherent to no other creature or being but man - is just such a powerful cool as shit line that is really gettin me going for writing the next bit of this fic.

wow i didn't even know how much i cared about this song but turns out it's a lot???? troubling for me!

[madewithspice]

MY DEAR FRIENDS YA BITCH IS BACK!

To request a matchup- (demon slayer)

The typical info that I have saved for this:

Name: Dani

sexuality: Im omnisexual (leaning masc and enbys)

Gender: I'm afab and typically identify more fem but I am gender fluid

Likes: gaming (some of my faves are little nightmares, fran bow, and stray), this is basic but volleyball, anime: I really like Aot, Jojo, haikyuu and Demon slayer, I enjoy cooking ( sorta) and am pretty good at grilling, I also really enjoy art: drawing looking at others art u name it! I'm also a witch and do practice some things that they tend to follow : I do tarot readings, I'm learning palm reading. Ect.

Dislikes: being cold but also humid heat sucks(I'm fucking bipolar ok/j), the game getting over it ( because I suck and have a mental break down while playing it), bugs I have the extreme fear of bugs.

Extra: I plan on going to college for some sort of social work stuff, my star sign is Leo, I play libero (somehow). My personality type is ENTP-T

And yk use what yk Abt me so-

WELCOME BACK YA BITCH!

How are you? I like the new name, sounds cool. Sorry this took so long. Exams killed my will to live.

For KNY I match you with Inosuke Hashiriba.

Who better than a chaotic boar head for a chaotic person. The two of you together are a recipe for madness. From pranks to aggressive, competitive gaming to just yelling loudly for the sake of it.

Inosuke is cautious but curious enough to sit and watch you do your tarot and palm readings. He’ll never ask but is secretly thrilled when you offer to read his palm.

His favourite days are when you cook and there’s even leftovers for later. He’s a huge glutton and the more you feed him, the more he will love you. He uses it as bragging rights over Tanjiro and Zenitsu.

- Kiki.

[yuukei-yikes]

would you talk about shintaro's romantic relationships post str? im really curious about how what happens between shinaya breakups and after. how'd he hit on takane? how did they get together with kano? what does ayano think abt all of this?

ive had this ask in my inbox for like 3 weeks idk why cuz i love it but. ok u gotta hear me out for a second. im gonna repeat myself A LOT A LOT ALOT but i have a lot of fun doing that💗 this ended up super long because im sick in the head.

after shintaro and ayano break up shintaro is like. OK HE'S SPIRALING DOWN. but it's a lil more nuanced than that it's not that he reverts back and it is exactly the same as it was and he's just whining over ayano shut in his room. deep down and truthfully he's totally relieved. he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, just like ayano, and while this isn't the only reason for their relationship's demise it is basically the core problem, and out of it a million other problems are created.

during the time he's like. recovering. or whatever u wanna call it. he dooooes sort of revert back a lil bit to being a shut in but not really bc now there's everyone around and no one will let him actually do it LOL also he's definitely not as despaired as he was back then. and takane is there for him a lot. also haruka and momo and just generally the dan even if the mekatrio wanna kill him with hammers. sidenote on that i think ayano after cooling off she would explain it wasn't entirely shintaro's fault and she was also kind of a dickhead in the situation (ayano was projecting all her pain on one person and taking out her sadness and frustration solely on the relationship when she was really hurting abt literally everything else. this also wasn't fair to shintaro and she knows it) and mekatrio are like oh my god our sister doing wrong?!?!?! completely possible she is a person. continue <- except kano. we'll get back to him.

i think shintaro rather takes it as an excuse to finally break down as if he didn't have the right to before, a bit similarly to ayano he was in denial of all this baggage. like it was really a match made in hell LMAO but basically shintaro is STILL in denial even after breaking up while ayano is picking herself up which is why she even ends things in the first place

while he's in this state obviously takane's worrymeter chart goes off and breaks and explodes and shintaro sorta reverting triggers takane into sorta reverting so then theyre back to being alone in his room. LIKE i keep saying shintaro is terrified of the unknown, like he's seen the same thing over a hundred times and he can remember it all but this is new and it's very scary.

so it's comforting to be back in his room with takane. because thru it all he's also resenting takane because all this time they were supposed to be like this duo or whatever, like in ALL routes they're ALWAYS together she is always there with him and she just. cannot remember that. they were together for a year but for shintaro it was one year a hundred times and for takane it's JUST one year. their codependency comes from this, for shintaro it was so much more time and for takane even if for her it was really just a year she made shintaro her LIFE so it's just as heavy for both. sorry their friendship makes me so crazy

and when shintaro is off horribly dating ayano, haruka and takane are being normal and picking up where they left off and being cute and working on their problems together and etcetc like I've talked abt it in a post lol but basically harutaka drives shintaro crazy because he's like ohhhh my god why does SHE get this. why is takane managing so well. subconsciously ofc my man has NOT the emotional capacity to identify that feeling so he expresses it through live shintaro reaction. like as he and ayano go more and more downhill, takane is more and more self aware of their codependent dynamic and yknow WORKING ON IT. like its simultaneous how shintaro is losing both these relationships so fast at the same time.

so when the breakup happens and shintaro is NOT OK, of course takane puts a pause to everything and is by his side. for shintaro this is super comforting not because takane is there for him and she's helping but rather cuz. yes. THIS is what i know. THIS is comfortable. and as a plus to shintaro, takane reverting her progress probably means she reverts progress with haruka and that makes shintaro a little relieved he's just like thank god im not the only one fucking up💖 takane and i are 2 different sides of the same coin so she can't run she's just like me for real💖 that's just his sick narrative btw. in reality takane is totally aware of what's happening and overdue giving shintaro a smack in the head

like it WONT BE LIKE IT USED TO because THINGS ARE DIFFERENT!! takane cannot dedicate her life to shintaro and the fact he sort of expected her to do it again is insulting to her. like from shintaro its very unconscious he doesn't do it on purpose he just refuses to think outside this box of personal narrative he's built. its not like shintaro is being a dickhead like hey Live For Me Again he rather shows it in moments like, he's surprised when takane says she has to go bc she has work or bc she made plans with haruka, or how he will call her at any time unannounced and be like. hey on ur way here can u get more coke ok byeeee and she's like. it tells her he EXPECTS her to put him before everything like she used to and it pisses her off.

to rant a bit abt the "personal narrative" of shintaro. i think it's interesting that shintaro is essentially a very self centered character and kagepro is very meta in the way it treats him as a main character. because inside of kagepro, he really gets as much focus as any other character, they're all "main" character to us. its rather inside the story he plays a very important role therefore he is the protagonist and as the protagonist he puts an end to the story itself too. i think this is all interesting together and fun to dissect shintaro's character as inherently self centered because that's what the story is. it shows not only in the way he acts even without retaining activated, but he is really in the center of it, and the way he handles it in everyday life once this story is over and theyre free from a narrative in the first place, is self destructive (and fun. to me) because its not compatible to being a normal fucking person.

so yeah it IS taking him a bit to really LOOK at his friends and stop looking only for himself. technically he's lived a hundred doomed lives and now he's here trying out this one and again it is scary and new and well. he is trying to navigate thru it, even if not in the best ways. he takes takane totally for granted because of this. in the narrative she has always been his sidekick. she has been the second main character to him. she has always lived and served him in all timelines, in all the time theyve known each other that she can't remember and he can, takane has been ene and ene has always been his annoying lap dog he hates as much as he needs in order for the story to move forward. so takane also being her own person outside of him, moving on, finding love somewhere else and OUT LOUD tackling issues like hey we have a codependent dynamic going on we should work on, IS ALSO STRANGE AND HE DOESNT LIKE IT. he shuns it completely whenever takane brings it up, which she does a lot as time goes on. because time keeps going on. it keeps passing by. and everyone around him seems to be growing up and that's so infuriating and so terrifying and ayano dumping him is as much of a reality check as ayano asking him out in the first place, and he doesn't know what to do with it other than cry and thrive off the attention takane is giving him again

i think takane would try to do what she does and be silly as fuck to distract shintaro but this time also sorta mixed in with actual talking unlike how their dynamic used to be. not to repeat everything i just said but YEAH shintaro is taking her for granted, he already was but when he and ayano break up it sort of gets worse. the way takane isn't reacting how he expects her because she's... not playing a role, she is just a person. she is growing up and moving on and this serves as extremely horrifying as well so he. teehee. enter kano

kano enters the picture in between shinaya breakup and takane having enough. shintaro and takane still share this dynamic but shintaro keeps being forced to look at the reality of his situation and the way he's been self sabotaging all of these relationships and he haaaates it and i think while kano is dealing with all his own baggage he is SO mad at shintaro for his whole thing with ayano and kano is Very emotionally smart he just uses it for evil&malicious purposes and also he is so petty all his eq becomes constipated and destructive. but like he knows it. he knows he's hurting himself by approaching shintaro who he KNOWS he likes and he isn't even sure himself if he's approaching him because he likes him or because he hates him. kano has so many mixed feelings over shintaro especially in this scenario where a messy shinaya breakup takes place.

kano gets close to shintaro because he knows he's at his lowest. he tells himself it's to irritate him and to throw things on his face and just to be evil or just to watch him suffer from up close but shintaro's out here looking like a kicked puppy and kano is whipped So Bad he can't help IT!! but not even he knows with WHAT intention he approaches him with. and he hates himself for it bc auugghhhh ITS AYANOS EX FIRST AND FOREMOST AND HE HURT HER AND AYANO CAN DO NO WRONG NO MATTER WHAT SHE SAYS AND I HATE HIM but kano and ayano sharing their shit taste in guys is his demise. he likes shintaro dammit. so no matter WHY, he gets close and well they kiss a little.

from shintaro's side IVE SAID i dont think shintaro hates kano as popularly believed idk i think he's rather confused with him and even understands why he's so icky around him bc he's overprotective over ayano so like HE GETS IT. i think shintaro and kano get in this AUGGH SHUT UP IDIOT dynamic that goes both ways exactly here because shintaro isnt in a great headspace like always but now especially and kano is just a fucking asshole. so they hang out and its awful and also a relief to shintaro because it feels good to be finally held accountable. this is also how he feels when ayano breaks up with him, tho for her it's also mixed with so many other things like a reality check. that angry ayano is unfamiliar and strange and freaks him out. but when it was over it was a relief because it meant he was free of that relationship he didn't want to be in (entirely. of course ayano and shintaro love each other and get together because they wanted to, but sadly love is not enough sometimes) and he was also free of having to see sides of ayano he isn't comfortable with seeing yet

with kano that isn't a problem because he's always been a little shit so it's a win. also makes him feel responsible, also a win. but seeing shintaro be accepting of being at fault it makes kano so damn angry too like UGH WELL IT WASNT ENTIRELY UR FAULT!! AYANO ALSO DID THIS AND THAT like EXACTLY as ayano has been telling kano when kano kept antagonizing shintaro in their breakup, ayano keeps explaining her side of things and how she wasn't entirely innocent either. and kano doesn't wanna listen but still parrots all of it to shintaro when shintaro keeps having a pity party and shintaro's like wow. i never saw it like that... and kano's like WELL THATS WHAT ID SAY IF I DIDNT THINK ITS ALL UR FAULT. WHICH IT IS. U HURT MY SISTER WHO CAN DO NO WRONG I HATE YOU. I LITERALLY CANNOT STAND YOU and then they kiss. because theyre crazy.

anyways. also terrifying. 1. unfamiliar. 2. gay. so shintaro is losing his damn mind like the whole thing is his extended freak out about the narrative being over and living in the good ending basically lol. so at his wits end he IS INDEED going to takane. everything is falling apart and nothing makes sense and he can't feel grounded and he feels so sick all the time and THAT'S why he turns to takane. the one constant!!!

takane is the one constant. takane is who has always been there. and because he needs at least 1 more punch to be able to see clearly that's how he turns to her and "hits on her" as I've put it in the past LMAO i think that's very simplified but u asked specifically how he does this and man i wanna write it so bad in a fanfic like i keep saying but OK BASICALLY its not that he Hits On Her its rather that he's like talking to takane as if she hadn't made any progress like him . he's like what if we make ourselves a favor and u move back in my comp 💖and we live driving each other crazy forever 💖wouldnt that be crazy. and takanes like YES that WOULD be crazy. amd shintaro's like "RIGHT it would TOTALLY be crazy LOL!!! but erm. HEAR ME OUT" because he thinks she's still barely holding it together and assumes she's still obsessed with him which she isn't, i picture this happening one or two years after str so takane's like. living her best domestic harutaka life. she's FINE. and shintaro's talking to her like she isn't fine which has been pissing her off already from before but now its in one culminating moment. because it's ok to hold ur hand on the journey to heal but if u refuse to keep fucking walking listen eventually the person is just gonna let go of ur hand my man

he asks takane to live with him forever because of how terrifying the good ending is and in his stupid personal narrative she is also still struggling so win win!!! THE ROMANTIC ASPECT OF IT comes with ayano&kano being part of shintaro's love life and the 2 people who he's been driving himself crazy about and is using takane to distract himself. so he puts two and two together and is like well wouldn't it make sense?? as icky as it is??? to be with takane??? because he is stupid and i find this extremely comical. i dont know if he would actually fall in love with her i think it's rather that he convinces himself he is because it makes sense on paper to him. he probably writes down all these conjectures and nodding like well of course it makes sense. like all the people he knows are parts of a math problem or some shit LMAO

in this math haruka's (old) insecurities of takane choosing shintaro over him are included too. shintaro's mistake comes in the fact haruka&takane's relationship does not pass by him and he has a very simplistic and self centered view of it. in reality haruka isn't as insecure if at all by then, and takane has been trying to deattach from the dynamic with shintaro for a while now and instead is attempting to be regular friends. like haruka and takane are married mode by then, having grown as people and as a couple but shintaro is so stuck in time and in need to give everyone a role that works for him that he fails to acknowledge that detail which is WHY he can approach her so easily. he's like I've done the people math this Makes Sense and its Fine it will all work out in my favor. he's nervous and pathetic of course but he's delusional first and foremost. i think the "hits on her" is rather shintaro&takane having a very fucked up talk that escalates and takane gets angry very badly lol. I Will Write This.

erm. that's how it happens. i think as he talks to takane and it becomes clearer and clearer that she is NOT in the same page he begins to despair abt it because his carefully calculated social plan is finally falling apart. and with it being a 2x1 because it makes his friendship with haruka fall apart too who through it ALLL from ayano to takane to kano has been telling him SHINTARO YOU ARE SELF DESTRUCTIVE PLEASE BE CAREFUL. ive also gone over that in an ask but lol yeah💖😀

for what ayano thinks of it, ayano and shintaro are completely taking a break from each other during all this but i dont think she'd be angry. she's completely focusing on herself (in a good way unlike shintaro) and working on her own baggage so she's like aw. poor shintaro. haruka&takane are probably a bit annoyed at the reaction bc he's a dickhead but ayano probably puts it more in perspective. takanes like yeah but it doesnt mean i cant be angry. ayanos like yeah ur absolutely right im still furious with him😊 <- while looking like that. but ayano's an empath💗 so while she is angry and sees everyone is angry she's still like, despite it all they all love shintaro and hope he will take these things to finally better himself. it's very frustrating that shintaro only understands when he drives u to a point of screaming and crying and then u feel bad for him even though HES the one who drove u to that point. he will be ok he needs the company of someone who won't keep giving things to him and give nothing in return. he needs the company of someone who will do to him the same he does to everybody. that said kano has been hanging out with him A LOT.

kano is there for shintaro they both crash and explode together but somehow pick themselves and each other backup. like it's a whole thing💗 i think ayano is on top of everything she's like it will be UGLY. but it needs to be done💗

shintaro also gets a therapist😀 sorry if i have a delusional design and hcs for shintaro's therapist like she's an unnamed oc. whatever.

ayano is busy with herself to worry about shintaro's mess. she still does but not before she gives herself the time and space she needs. a talk between them after certain time has passed would be so interesting and do so much good to both. but heh. sorry did all that answer ur question

[flaringfoxsoul03]

@pastelsnake420 asked me this:

My names snakey, ENFP Gemini and I identify as a somewhat female who uses she/they pronouns! I’d describe myself as someone who’s pretty chill and go with the flow combined with strong morals however I can be stubborn and direct when needed to be. I have been told that I appear confident however once you get to know me anxiety will roll out. My greatest compliment that I’ve ever received is that Im funny and I enjoy making others laugh and seeing them smile BUT I am sensitive and can be a bit moody here and there. Despite being a bit of a clown, I enjoy deep conservations that range from anything to everything. I study sociology and I adore discussing our world around us and the possibilities that we could all achieve! I’m a bit of an idealist who just wants everyone to be kind and happy. My hobbies include listening to music and playing the kalimba (somewhat alright), I enjoy video games and all things imaginative! I DESPISE maths with an absolute passion (I suffer from dyscalculia sadly) and I will talk badly about it at any moment I’m given. I would say that I’m very affectionate once I get to know someone and will be extremely loyal. My humour is a fine line between irony and sarcasm however I would say I’m good at picking up on social cues if someone isn’t in the mood to do so.

Overall I’m basically the cool mad aunt/mother of a friend group.

Thank you!!! Hope you’re doing well 💚

Oh sorry I forgot to say I’d like an obey me match up

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Awwww, thank you Snakey 💚, and I am having the hardest decision to make here. You are such a lovable person, who would want to resist you?~

Also, I’m so sorry this took so long to come out, I hope you’ll forgive me for taking a while.

Warning: Anxiety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Satan!

————————————

Definition of near perfection, Satan is your match. He’s just the right level of energy for you. Not what you were expecting? I figured, but let me break it down for you why I think he’s your special demon~

He studies you like another research paper he’s doing for class because you’re almost the definition of an oxymoron for him, confident and mature but when he takes a closer inspection, he sees all the anxiety you bottle up away from him and all of his brothers. He sees you switch from one mood to another as soon as his brothers get what they want out of you. It pisses him off how much you choose to act rather than ask for space when you really just need a breather from responsibilities. Sounds like someone else we all know too well~

He takes advantage of this desire of yours to do what each of the brothers wish and take you away to a cat cafe. A place to relax and not make it totally about him, legit strategic thinking! Give him a chance to pick your brain while he occupies it with cats, drinks, food, and books. If you pick up on what he’s doing, start talking about what makes you. He’s genuinely curious to know what kind of a person you are, much less about your race and how your peoples are different from each other

This is where he starts to fall HARD for you. You talking about your own personal studies, especially sociology, gives him such intellectual conversation with you he literally forgets where the time has gone. He loves that you’re really smart and on top of that, you can play an unique instrument! He’s only ever seen kalimbas in museums and the occasional concert, he does have connections if you ever want to improve your skills with other demonic professionals

Would love to hear you talk mad shit, even if it’s just math. He’s probably figured out you have a disability even before you remember to mention it to him. You’re literally way too nice to everyone but yourself, he loves this refresher that you can and will talk big smack. Even better, through all your complaints, helps you with anything math work that’s assigned in school. He may not know what it’s like to have a disability that’s recognized as such, but he wants to be there to support you while you’re the one supporting all of his brothers and an entire exchange program on top of that. Plus, he can be quite convincing to have you join in on his pranks on Lucifer with Belphie tagging along (more like make sure it’s not deadly, but same thing, right?)

Later down the line when you get to know the brothers better (think like when they all made a mess at the carnival restaurant because Beelzebub tried to eat the place out of business) Satan gets a taste of your wrath in your commanding presence. Sure, he’s not thrilled he was part of the problem and had to suffer the consequences of almost destroying a restaurant, but you finally took control like a master should. Lowkey, he thinks it’s super hot. You should try being in more control when his brothers try to drag you around to things. But does in fact apologize to you personally after the whole incident when he gets a moment with you alone, that was uncalled for. But does mention you should be happy you put them in their place, it was a dire situation

Satan also puts in his best effort to help you when things get to be too much to be that commandeering person you need to be sometimes. He finds this out as he’s making his apologies to you for the incident I previously mention as you finally break down openly in front of him for the first time. He blanks for a second as the water works force their way up to the surface, but the next thing you know, he’s leading you to your bed and trying to get you to let it all out. It must be tough, but Satan loves that you finally can rely on him as someone you can trust when you need the extra help. He likes being that rock for you to hold on to when you feel like you just can’t fight the current anymore. He wants to so desperately help you in anyway you can, but he slowly calms you down first and asks if you can explain how it all led up to the break down and see if he can help you more than he is now. Literally definition of the supporting role for characters in his many books

You have so. many. inside. jokes. It’s kinda insane how many of them you guys can make in a singular day. One time, Belphie suggested to the two of you to make as many inside jokes you could before the end of the day. You and Satan did so many, that Lucifer tried to punish you both, but literally couldn’t find a justification in how he could make a punishment without causing another stupid fight. You both also turned that into an inside joke. Belphie said he lost count around 69 or so, but I bet that made the inside joke count even higher~

Enjoys the affection you often give after you get to know each other better, because even as eloquent words escape his mouth, sometimes he prefers to be more direct in his approach to have you know just how much he loves you~. Even the platonic side of it is just so domestic that it sends Satan’s heart to do flips as he pretends that nothing is wrong while you’re so close to his heart~

Loves how your creativity comes out in the wackiest ways possible. Like that one time you threw glitter everywhere outside in the garden onto a glue covered canvas and somehow made a random galaxy out of it. Not sure how that happened until he got there during the halfway mark, but it simply makes him giggle to himself. He will absolutely ask to see how you would make cat art if you choose to do so, which that turned into a Project Kitty Keychain. That was basically learning how to make pins to hook to a keychain, but add your little spin to it. He treasures this in many spells made to protect the keychain from wear and tear, he did the same to your copy(cat) too

=================

The follow ups are:

Lucifer

And

Solomon

————————————

That’s it folks! Until next time!

~ Fox

[pastelsav]

^yessss ofc! If I ever say or reblog anything w/ the specific pronoun “girl, girlie, etc.” (giving the connotation that i specifically mean those of whom who *only identify as women which i ofc would not ever & im so sorry if it ever had seemed that way🥺) I promise on everything I mean anyone and everyone🥹🫶🏼 all you sexy asses from all walks of life, all my extra sexy LGBTQIA+ friends, fine as fuck Allies, mutuals, & ofc anyone who is kind, cool, and supports those in the community & beyond!🫶🏼🌈

extra special thank you to the blog above ^ bc #1 I LOVE how they worded & included everyone! Like I hope it’s ok but imma steal all those cute conjunctions for myself hehe🥰

& #2 for reminding my ass & maybe possibly kindly calling me out (although I’m not sure if it was their intention, but regardless it’s a good intention/reminder nonetheless) to include all & specify *when I can or it’s necessary* bc I never know who may be seeing my post & feeling excluded in any type of way.🥺 Like it actually breaks my heart.. to ever think of any queer person or anyone in general feeling left out or saddened by my lack of inclusion. I was raised better than that, & I WANT to be and do better than that. And I will🥹🫶🏼 so thx u 💋

*this is long I know but so incredibly important to me to correct myself & specify that it’s all love over here baby 🤟🏼🌈*

me and my moots <3

[killingitreservoirdogsstyle]

Hiii how are you doing?

I was hoping I could please request something in any format you want where the reader is Blue’s relative of some kind (like he’s your uncle or father or something) and he takes you to the diner or joes office because you’re going to work on a job with them and you meet joe,eddie and all the dogs for the first time and just like how they would react to seeing/meeting you? Also I know you mentioned you’ve been busy with things lately so im in no rush at all! Just whenever you get to it is totally fine by me (: I hope you’re staying well, getting lots of rest and taking care of yourself! Sending love!

Hey anon! Omg, thanks for all your kind words!! You are so awesome, and I’m sending on all my love and good vibes to you too! Sorry for the delay with your req, I did try to get to it as soon as I could. I LOVE your idea here, let me see what I can come up with that can give justice to it!!

Trigger Warnings: Death of parents, swearing, and gender neutral reader, if that’s even a trigger, I don’t know.

So, I’ll say that Mr. Blue is your uncle in this case, but you can go ahead and change it to whatever you’d like if this doesn’t work for you! I haven’t seen a canon name for him, so I’m going to say his name is Tony Bunker. You were adopted by him after the death of your parents’ when you were younger. You both got into the business of con artistry, which is how you ended up with the Reservoir Dogs. 

The drive to the diner is filled with your uncle’s excited comments, the sounds of the battered Station Wagon he drives, and the God awful stereo playing a distorted version of K-Billy’s Super Sounds of the 70′s. You’re eager too, but more reserved than Blue is. 

You hadn’t been at the naming meeting the day beforehand, so Joe had phoned you and given you your alias: Mr/Miss/Mx. Silver ( or your favourite colour, go ahead and change it if you’d like ). All of the Dogs had heard about you, and there were mixed reactions to meeting you at the diner.

Brown and Pink were hesitant, but still polite. After all, you are a stranger, and they don’t know. Being in the game as long as they had, they knew that anybody could be a potential backstabber, a traitor masquerading as a sympathizer. So it’s not necessarily you, but rather their paranoid instincts kicking in. Still, they can’t help but find you attractive and fun. You’re like the cool kid that they always wanted to be on the playground, the effortlessly slick charmer everyone loves. 

White is a total gentleman, treating you as if he’d known you for years. If you’re a girl, you bet he’s going to be especially protective of you. He doesn’t see your gender as limiting or a disadvantage, rather a perk to the operation. No matter how you identify, he takes you under his wing as he did with Orange.

Speaking of Freddy, he is super pleased to meet you. You both are similar in age, being young and inexperienced in your respective fields, and your personalities mix very well together. You two exchange jokes, laughing like kids the whole time.

Blonde and Eddie, being the dirty-minded pervs they are, are going to hit on you the entire meeting. They think you’re gorgeous, whatever gender you are, and they love a bad boy/girl/a troublemaker. Your uncle doesn’t necessarily like their advances, but you are totally charmed by Vic and Eddie too. You return their flirtations, not hesitating to wield your sex appeal to your advantage. And man, do they like it.

Let me tell you, you have made friends in high places after that fateful breakfast. Afterwards, you are a full-fledged Dog, and can’t wait to get in on the action. You’re all going to compete with one another for the fullest experience. And of course, all the Dogs except Joe and your uncle are going to show off as much as they can around you. 

Sorry for how short these were, I wrote them during my lunch break and didn’t want to be late for my classes! Let me know if these weren’t what you had in mind, and I’ll try to fix them as best as I can! Thanks anon! All of you have a wonderful rest of your week, and stay tuned for more future content from my stressed, busy ass! Love y’all!

[bloomingnono]

meant it. (part 2)

pairing: jeno x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: ~ 1.7 k

warnings: language (like one curse word akjds)

intro l part 1 l part 2

a/n: im so sorry for the long wait:( i wanted to make sure i did my best, and wrote something i was overall pretty content with! but here’s the second, and final part to “meant it”!! i hope you all enjoy, especially my dear 🍿anonie<3

also not me making major adjustments 5 minutes before posting💀

taglist of my loves: @luvlyjaemin @vera-liscious @lenaluvs

Your bed felt cold. The type of cold that left your body weak. And yet again, you found yourself fighting to let sleep consume you.

You hesitantly turned to your left side, hoping that maybe, this was all just one big nightmare. That maybe when you turned around, he’d be there.

But you were only met with the other side of your bare bed; your lamp casting an amber tinge on your snow-white sheets.

Four weeks had passed since those final words had been exchanged. He had left you broken.

To say you missed him was an understatement.

You longed for the way your heartbeat quickened at his sight. You longed for the way your stomach fluttered as your name effortlessly slipped out of his lips. You longed for his touch; the way his fingers lingered against your skin.

You missed him.

But at what cost? To hear those three empty words leave his mouth?

No. Never again.

It was unfair to Jeno. But most of all, it was unfair to you.

You didn’t deserve to be told such idle lies.

Especially not from the one person you would give up your entire life for.

Jeno was a naive soul; so sincere and trusting of what only met the eye.

Mistakes were a daily occurrence in his life; learning and growing from them as he paved his way through.

.

But the second you left, he knew he had made the biggest mistake yet.

.

On the night when everything ended, there was an inexplainable feeling of void growing within him.

He didn’t have a reason to smile, nor the energy to cry.

Unlike anything he’d ever experienced before, he felt incomplete. It left him numb.

Before he knew it, four weeks had already gone by.

Four weeks since he last held your frame in his grasp. Four weeks since he last saw the face he once fell in love with. Four weeks since he left you utterly broken.

But in those four weeks, Jeno wasn’t living. He was simply existing.

He was merely left in his world; his actions and their consequences, being his sole companion.

He knew it was unfair to continue to lie and prolong the inevitable. But, why did it feel so wrong? It was the right decision to choose... right?

‘To choose.’

It seemed like such a simple action. It was something we did on a daily basis; nearly every second of every day.

Yet it held so much influence.

Jeno had finally realized that now.

Everything in life was purely a choice.

.

Everything.

You lie on your bed, your mind lost in all the bumps and ridges that painted your cream-colored ceiling.

It was late into the night, the moon peeking its way through the slits of your window blinds. The silence was peaceful, yet deafening.

Despite the unsettling aspects of the stillness, you’re ready for it to devour you; yearning for that feeling of tranquility that you haven’t felt in weeks.

But just as you are about to give in, you’re abruptly interrupted by frantic raps on your front door. Jostling up into a sitting position, you force yourself off your bed to check and see who was causing such a fuss.

The knocks on your door persist, not allowing for a single moment of intermission.

Apprehension quickly overtakes your body, frightened at what could possibly cause such actions to befall at this ungodly hour.

You hesitantly grab your doorknob, carefully turning it and opening the door just a fraction of the way.

You are met with a hunched figure; their hands on their knees and their hair damp with —what can only be assumed as— sweat. Their labored breathing leads you to believe they had run here, and hastily at that.

After a few short-lived seconds, you carefully try to assess the situation; fear still coursing throughout your body.

“Can I help you..?”

The figure instantly tenses at your tone, as if taken aback by the sound of your voice.

You watch in confusion as they begin to catch their breath, and stand to their full height. Straining your eyes to try and identify their face, you’re left frozen at the single feature that was recognizable even in pitch darkness.

His eyes.

You instinctively take a step backward, distrusting your vision.

But your presumption reigns true, as the figure tentatively takes a step forward through the doorway; his face now fully illuminated by your foyer light.

.

Lee Jeno.

.

He seemed to be in a terrible state: his hair a mess from the sweat, his clothes violated by the wind, and his breaths still quite uneven.

You attempt to try and form a coherent sentence, but the words seem to die in your throat. You could only look up at him, staring blankly with your mouth hung open.

“Wha... What are you doing here...?”

“I came to see you. I needed to talk to you. Immediately.” His expression was unreadable, yet his tone held the familiar hint of desperation. “I miss you. I want— No. I need you back. Nothing in this world seems right when I’m not with you. I’m not who I am without you. I need you…”

The silence that follows is unbearable.

It takes a few moments for his words to sink in. You feel your eyebrows furrow in confusion, contorting your features into a frown.

But the confusion is quickly replaced with the dreaded feeling of anger. It swiftly fills your entire soul, kindling a flame. The one emotion you tried so hard to repress, viciously engulfs your entire body.

The words that had once died in your throat, quickly resurrect and force their way out of your mouth.

You find your voice again. However, this time, it is nothing but cold and bitter.

“Lee Jeno, I love you. I’m not ashamed to say that I’m still hopelessly in love with you, because I am. But you aren’t. And that’s why I let you go.”

The floodgates were finally opened. There was no going back.

“As much as I still loved you, and as much as it killed me to accept that you didn’t return those feelings for me anymore; I let you go. Want to know why? Because your happiness means so much more than my own. I let you go because I love you so fucking much.”

Jeno stares at you with wide eyes, unable to summon a statement that could somehow ease the pain in you eyes. “I-“

“No, listen!!” Your voice begins break, unable to keep your emotions at bay. The words flow out of your mouth quicker than your mind could process. “I wanted to blame you. I wanted to hate you and resent you so badly for everything you put me through, but I couldnt. Because I still fucking love you!!”

The last statement leaves your throat raw. But you persist.

“You really got some nerve, Lee Jeno.” You laugh humorlessly at the pure audacity, before turning back to him with a renewed flame.

“You left me absolutely shattered. And I couldn’t even hate you for it. I refuse to let you hurt me again. I refuse to watch, as the love for me floods out of your eyes again. I REFUSE!!!”

Every last bit of your energy is wasted on your final words as you scream them at the top of your lungs.

The angry tears streaming out of your eyes seem endless. Your whole body trembles with pure fury as you collapse to the floor, legs giving out beneath you.

Jeno instinctively scrambles to your side, supporting your fragile form with his own.

Too weak to fight against his hold, you allow yourself to be braced by him; the touch being all too familiar for your liking.

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?” You purposely avoid his gaze as you ask, your voice impossibly faint. You’re left completely exhausted; the anger quickly transforming into pure defeat.

There’s a moment of hesitancy. You feel the sharp intake of breath that he takes before the reply is given.

.

“I... love you.”

.

Those three words that you once adored, and now despised... Those three words that had eased all your pain, but now caused your suffering...

Those three words... were no longer hollow.

.

He meant it again.

.

A chill swiftly travels down from the top of your spine to the tip of your toes, leaving you senseless.

He promptly proceeds; the hesitancy in his tone now replaced with a new-found determination.

“I love you. And not because I have to, but because I want to.” Cold fingers gently grip your chin, tilting it up to meet his gaze. “Loving you is not merely a spark. Loving you is not lust or simple desire. Loving you is a commitment. I want to wake up every day, and choose to love you.”

There’s another moment of silence; tears of regret traveling down to drip from the point of his chin.

“I’m so sorry for... everything.” He chokes back a sob as the words get caught in his throat. “I loathe myself for being the cause of all this. I will never forgive myself for hurting you and... and I completely understand if you aren’t willing to forgive me either-“

Before he could finish, you crash your lips onto his; successfully silencing his statement. Tears continue to descend both your guys’ cheeks, unable to subside from the overwhelming sense of comfort that came with being in the others’ warmth again.

You sense a familiar arm snake around your waist, pulling you deeper into the contact. Your own arms loop around his neck, absorbing the touch that you had longed for, so intensely.

You pull away from the kiss, coming face to face with the love of your life.

.

“You have no idea how much I missed feeling those words.” The sentence is muttered, speaking to yourself more than anyone else.

But he heard them nonetheless.

.

You feel his slender fingers encase either side of your face, his cool touch sending a wave of shock throughout your body. Keeping your face steady in his hands, he slowly leans his forehead against yours.

With his eyes closed and without a single waver in his voice, the words slip out again.

.

“I love you.”

.

You soak up the comfort that alluded from such simplicity.

You know that you guys aren’t perfect. Nowhere near it.

But what mattered, was that you were in each other’s hold again.

.

.

Because you loved each other...

.

.

And you meant it.

end.

[mysmegrace]

Hi! I’d love a short fic of Zen with a shy yet bubbly MC in a Christmas Fake Dating scenario <33 Hopefully with some anxious pining and a love confession at the end if that’s okay! I’ve been musing over this sweet scenario for a pretty long time and wanted to make my small dream come true

hey hey hey~ (ew im sounding like my old math teacher lol). i'd love to write that for you! sorry this came out a little late, i've been offline and working on other things. i hope i did this justice! 

summary: GD entertainment, the company zen works with, is throwing a christmas party. giving many of the actors special benefits, one of which is a free 2021 computer model for people who had brought in their significant others. zen could really use the upgrade, hence why he asked you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the night. he also asked you because he had feelings for you and figured that tonight would be the perfect night.

topics: christmas time, pretending to date, love confessions, romantic pinning, fluff.

words: 2k

For the Night, Or a Lifetime - Zen x MC

---

"are you sure this is alright to do zen..? i mean, what if rumors start to spread or they think badly of us?" you responded briskly. you were worried this would take a hit to his career, not to mention your anxious thoughts building up around the fact that you may have to speak with his boss and co-workers.

when zen had initially showed up 15 minutes prior, you were dumbfounded. last time you had spoke to him on the messenger, he had told you about some work he needed to finish up. yet an hour later, he was at your front door asking for you to act as his girlfriend tomorrow for the companies christmas party.once he had explained why to clear up your confusion, you weren't sure how to react. of course you would like to help him, but what if things didn't go as planned? what if you ended up ruining the night? you weren't secure in your acting abilities either.

"it'd be fine, i promise. we'll just act like a normal couple throughout the night and no one will suspect a thing" you heard him say, breaking your train of thought. looking up to meet his gaze, you quickly broke eye contact to contemplate your next action.

you knew zen could use the new computer, you’ve seen how old his current one was. but the fear of denting his career wouldn’t go away. you look up to meet him again, looking for a sign of reassurance or dismay. 

god those puppy eyes you gave to you. how could you say no? giving it another minutes, you eventually give in, saying “alright, but if something starts to happen we have to come clean”.

a breath he was unaware of holding came free as he heard your confirmation. a weight had been lifted off his shoulders because unbeknownst to you, he was planning to come clean about his feelings for you tomorrow night. so far, the plan was going just the way he was hoping for. 

“thank you babe, i’ll repay you back for this one day!” he said, giving his gratitude. “i’ll call when i come to pick you up” he adds, before turning to leave. it had already gotten late and he knew better than to stay with you for any longer while the moon was tempting him. no, that stuff would have to wait until the time was right.

watching as he left, the click of the door confirming it, your mind had completely gone blank on you. did that really just happen, you thought. you could hardly contain your excitement once he proposed the plan.

but you knew how the industry and his fans were. sure many were great, but many also say zen as a trophy they could reserve to themselves. a romantic partner could damage his career as allegations and opinions started floating around.

at the same time, it was difficult to hide. you had felt something for him that was so unfamiliar to you. something you could only identify as love. but what if he didn’t feel this same? what if...

enough, you told yourself. it was too late to get emotional and curious about what might happen. perhaps it would be better to rest and let your mind heal it’s anxiety for the time being. so that you did, drifting off while fantasying about the future, though you would never admit that.

a knock at the door caught your attention, allowing you to briefly look up from your phone. the sky had changed as christmas had arrived. everything was ready for your night as you had prepared once he had alerted you of his travel. 

opening the door, you gave a smile to greet him. one he returned promptly, pulling you into a friendly embrace. your heart skipped a beat, so anxious that you might do something he wouldn’t like. your body wouldn’t even offer you peace of mind to enjoy the closeness.

eventually letting go, you pulled your jacket on in a swift motion as you followed zen’s footsteps. being led to his motorcycle, a helmet was presented to you. “don’t worry, i’ll be safe. can’t damage precious cargo” he reassured you. 

god, was he trying to embarrass you, you thought as you felt yourself heating up. slowly gathering the courage to meet his eyesight again, you found him with a grin plastered across his lower face.

the nerve, though you’d have to let it slide for now. hoping on the ride, you heard the engine rear up as you went on your. wind hitting your face from all angles, moving your hair in whichever way it desired. 

pulling up to the event, you fixed your hair the best you could with your fingers with little time to spare. feeling your hand being grabbed, you looked towards zen, expressing a confident smile. in reality, you couldn’t believe what you had gotten yourself into.

taking the lead, zen greeted the people at the entrance in a polite yet swift manner. in your luck, they managed to find the time to question zen about your role to him. “she’s my girlfriend” he answered, before gesturing for the two of you to walk in.

the room was full of traditional christmas decorations with the occasional piece related to acting and performance. you quite liked it if you were honest. your attention was quickly redirected to the co-worker approaching the two of you.

oh no, you thought. what would you say to leave a good impression for zen and yourself as a pretend couple? remembering zen’s past words of advice, being confident and positive, you decided to adopt that attitude for the remainder of the evening.

“hyun, who’s this?” the person asked, leaving an eyebrow subtly raised. zen flashed a quick glance at you before responding “ah, she’s my girlfriend”. now was your time to shine. don’t mess this up, you told yourself.

“hello~ i’m mc. gorgeous event right?” you said with the nicest expression you could muster up. now you were left to hope you didn’t come across as too obnoxious or nervous.

“hello mc, pleasure to meet you” the co-worker greeted, reaching out a hand in your direction. slightly taken aback, you met his hand as you were involved in the handshake. that wasn’t so bad, right? maybe tonight would be easier than expected.

leading you to make a mental note of the three things you wanted to portray yourself as this evening. that being energetic, respectful, and adding in a tad of humor.

this formula seemed to be going well. an hour had already passed and nobody seemed to have a problem with you, openly at least. yet things started going down hill when you had a couple down further in the area whisper “things aren’t adding up with those two”.

a males voice added onto that, saying “i doubt they’re a real couple. look at them, neither one of them has shown the other any form of affection since they’ve gotten here”. you couldn’t find the words to say as you stood in slight horror.

how were they able to catch on? you thought you were doing good all night, making the environment relaxed and laid back. little to your knowledge, zen had heard the couple as well.

without giving it much thought, he knew he had to prove their thoughts wrong. hence why you suddenly felt yourself taken by the hands, pinned against the wall behind you. looking up in shock, you were met with zen’s face going in a kiss. of course, you couldn’t push him away. 

kissing him back, he found himself not wanting to stop. his rational mind took over quickly, pulling away. staring at you face to face, you could read the shock in his eyes. as if he was surprised by his actions. 

shock was something evident in your mind at the time too. you didn’t know what to think, what to feel. too many emotions were present for you to ever make sense of.

releasing your hands, he subtly went back to your side the same way he was before. almost as if it didn’t happen. yet you promptly heard his voice whisper “can we talk about this later?”.

without giving it much thought, you nodded in reply. you had so many new things to think about, you needed time. but in a good turn of events, the couple were no longer questioning your relationship status.

time passed in a slow motion, though reality reminded you that only an hour had passed once you looked at the clock. people were beginning to say their goodbyes, being given many gifts by the hosts. you and zen included as the computer was given for your leave.

returning to the motorcycle, you put on your helmet once again, as did zen. he would drive as you held onto the gifts in the back. this time, the wind wasn’t a bother to you. it had cooled off the heat from your face, deriving from the sudden actions of zen.

reaching your apartment complex, you got off the vehicle. looking nowhere but down as your feet carried you to your apartment, zen following behind you. as soon as your entered the familiar room, the fatigue from todays events had caught up to you.

now you were left with zen to discuss all that occurred. yet it took you a second to collect yourself for the conversation. you had no idea where this would go, you only hoped it would result in something good.

you heard the males voice begin to speak, “i’m sorry about doing that tonight, i should’ve asked first. i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable”. your thoughts paused for a quick second as something new entered. you didn’t want him to feel bad about anything, he didn’t deserve it.

“no no, you didn’t make me uncomfortable, i enjoyed it to be honest” you replied in a haste. your face changed as you really started to take in what you had just told him. you hadn’t meant to let that last part slide.

on second thought, perhaps it was a good thing to get it out there. you couldn’t hide your feelings forever. now it was zen’s time to become a visible shade of pink. were you serious...?

god that made him so happy. the last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable and hate him. worried thoughts filled his head for a split second before you came in to save this sanity, as you always did.

“i’m.. glad to hear that. i was worried you would be upset. look, i have something to confess” he started, deciding now was the time. he observed as your eyes became a tad bit bigger as your mouth opened slightly in a curious form.

continuing, he said “i’ve had feelings for you ever since you joined the rfa. i couldn’t understand them at first, thinking i was juust lonely and desperate. but as time goes on, i can understand why”.

“mc, you’ve made my life change for the better. i can’t imagine life without you. so, will you go out with me? we don’t have to play pretend anymore” he finishes, lightening up the mood ever so slightly during the end. 

to say you were ecstatic was an understatement. finally your prayers were being answered. you could feel as your cheeks flushed before you gave your answer.

“yes, of course i will” you responded softly, as if speaking any louder would make this go away. standing in comfortable silence, zen was content with your answer. offering his gorgeous smile for your eyes only.

“thank you, ha you’ve gotten me so stocked. i have to prepare for practice so i’ll see you tomorrow.” he says, the tone of his voice raising noticeably. you give him a nod of approval, but become flustered at the words he said before leaving through the door.

“merry christmas, sleep well love” he sang out, before closing the door behind him. how did he expect you to sleep once he’s gotten you all worked up, you thought. giggling to yourself, you felt as the fatigue became even more present now that you were home.

laying down to rest, you were grateful for the best christmas gift you had received this year. the one that would be stuck with you for a long, long time.

---

15:43 AST - 07/28/21

[whaleofatjme1920]

Hello hii, I'm new to Tumblr and I hope your still open for these Creepypasta match-ups ? (Sorry for the burden if not)

-So hiii I'm 18 years old, I identify myself as a woman I guess ? But I use any pronouns. I am 5'3ft, chubby, have curly hair, I wear a lot of baggy clothes but i would LOVE dressing in a Grunge Fairycore style :') I'm Pansexual and an Aries. (Also I'm french)

-I am an INTP, I like making my friends laugh, sarcastic, caring, loyal, I know how to keep a secret very well, and a good liar(only for good reasons tho) Also can't take a compliment about my physique 😃👍🏼

-My hobbies are Drawing, playing video games and watching videos, and calling my friendsss. My favorite artists are Ashnikko, Melanie Martinez, Yungblud, Doja cat

-I am in a Superior Art School, I don't know if it has a different name in English, it's big and looks like a castle ( I LOVE IT) and it has a library right next to it so that when there's a break we can study there :D I basically learn how to draw more realistic and all

-Im following the MCU movies (and series on Disney+), My favorite shows are Brooklyn 99, Community and Hellbound. My favorite movies genre are Horror, Action and Comedy.

-My love language is touch and quality time :D

-Random facts abt me: I would LOVE to live in a farm or in the forest next to a lake, I already have a dog I REALLY REALLY want a cat.

-And lastly, I am French, and in France the age to be able to drink is 18 so I'm not doing anything illegal I promise :D so my favorite alcohol is Red Wine and Mojito

Thanks if you're going to answer this ! And I apologize my bad English or if I said anything useless or not enough. :D Hope you have a good day/night ! <3

Your matchup is... Masky!

[Disclaimer, if you're coming from the tags, this is part of a special event I am holding from November 17th to the 21st where I am accepting matchups from all fandoms I currently write for. Feel free to check out my 1K celebration masterlist here for rules during the window this event is open! If it's past the 21st midnight USA central time, do NOT send me a matchup. I will have to politely turn you down. Sorry </3]

Nsfw below

In General

Hm, well, after seeing your kinks?? This is Masky territory.

Things He Likes About You

SO, your personality really meshes well with him. And he loves that you can make him laugh. Tim doesn't always smile as much as he should, but you always make him light up. He thinks you're incredible at art and likes watching you play video games because he's only somewhat decent at them. I do think Tim has a love of Doja Cat so like--. Is proud of you for being in art school, and finds it cool that it looks like a huge castle. He likes MCU, it's one of his only loves outside of the proxy life so ofc, the two of you need to watch like, Loki, and other cool things. He likes your choice in TV shows too. Touch and quality time?? Those line up SO WELL with him. Living on a farm or a forest?? This screams domestic to me. I also think that Tim, who doesn't understand anything about languages, likes that you're French and speak with a French accent. He thinks it's pretty.

You Two a a Couple & NSFW

Alright, late night binging TV shows or marvel movies is definitely a thing the two of you need to do. He can kinda draw,,,? So like, little art dates or something that I think are really cute. The two of you are constantly laughing with each other, always lost in good conversation. I can also see the two of you listening to fun songs in the car together as well. Get him into Melanie Martinez, that woul be super fun. Tim tells you so many of his secrets, the ones that won't get you in trouble because he cares about you. He forgets to take care of himself as well, so like, you two might need to be reminded to have some time to himself. He's going to compliment you-- that's a given. Ofc the two of you are going to need to do the wholesome touches. Tim loves to hold you, press kisses to the crown of your head - like he's a bit touch starved. He wants to live out in the forest somewhere tbh. Will get you a cat. Kinda cottagecore vibes if I'm being honest.

SO, I saw your kinks. Tim is really good at praise, like really good. His hands are pretty big and strong too so choking is a yes. Idk if he necessarily has a mommy kink?? But there's definitely the possibility to kick start that. You can get him to sub though as long as you kinda make him be a sub. He likes being a bit of a brat.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things

Hi love bug, here's your matchup! I think you and Tim would be great together. Hope you enjoyed.

[butterflyeffectiveless]

For that ask game you reblogged, tell your thoughts about SvtFoE

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: I base the answer on how much I obsess over a character bc its hard for me to actually identify my tastes.. so its Toffee bc I fixate on him most. Plus I really feel things for Moon and her character (not counting her actions in the finale)

Least Favorite character: Star.

*But i must note that I don't hate her nor I think she's bad, she just didn't grow on me. I wish there were episodes where she faces her problems and flaws on a deeper level, the episodes where she was always right and saved the day or delivered cool lines felt superficial to me. Even when she does the right things her reasons behind those actions didn't feel explored enough. The only time I remember a moment when Star was going through a realization or something that later led to change in her attitude was in season 1, when they re-enacted the great monster massacre. I loved Star in that episode, and ever since Star's charm as a character kinda disappeared for me.. im sorry Star fans. From a geniune person who looked at the world around her and learned from it, she turned into a know it all and impulsive person who blames her problems on others, thinks she's right and never apologizes, and now that I've written this and thought about it , it just breaks my heart a little. The way how the show showed she is a heroine who fights for good cause and lights up the path for brighter future felt very jarring. Hearing the ending song with lyrics about how great and just she is, felt kind of off after episodes where she did wrong things and brushed it off without feeling bad. It felt bad to me because the show tries to give her a role of a hero but her actions didnt correlate with the title she was given by the show itself. Even Ponyhead who was meant to be unlikable, grew on me in a way, because the show and Star herself made her face her mistakes and Ponyhead was made aware of her wrongdoings, even when she acted like she didnt care she made a change afterwards and even helped when it was needed at least once, with Eclipsa. Plus the show kind of always portrayed her as 'uncaring' and selfish character and her actions didnt have a huge impact on others. Star on the other hand, is potrayed as a hero of justice and a princess who fights evil and she calls other out on their mistakes, but when her own mistakes that affect others dont ever get addressed it really..throws me off. It kinda hurts in a way bc it hits close to home. Sometimes people do that thing where they act as social justice warriors and call other out, but when they are told they do something bad they lash out and get away with everything bad they do, and that just.. Also that part of the plot where Star complained about how her position as a princess makes her life feel restrained and how bad it is or smth, how she's angry that she has to do royal duties, yes, she was right to feel upset because she's a teenager and shes still growing and putting her in that position Was unfair. But it was potrayed in a way that made it hard to sympathize with. Star is angry she has to look after the kingdom or deal with royal stuff, but she ditches others after she messes up, she makes things go her way even in times she has to follow the plan she was given, reveals royal secrets, blames her mother who in fact actually did her best to give her free of responsibilities childhood. She is upset she has to act mature at a young age, and its true she didnt deserve to suddenly be in charge of everything including the diplomatic matters and i gotta admit she did it as best as she could. But the show didnt really dip deeper into her issue with it or how it affected her, she only delivered a few lines so her struggle felt very superficial. And prior to the events when she had to do her duties, she had been doing everything she wanted: going to parties, making friends, dating, she even used her magic however she wanted and made whatever she wanted. It was just hard to sympathize with her struggle (the struggle that was in fact real) because prior to that almost everything was going the way she wanted and others were doing things in accordance to how she wanted. So her getting angry that things dont work out immediately and others suddenly want to call her out or suddenly confront her or act in ways she doesnt like, didnt feel like something that I could react with "oh, that is so bad, i

feel sorry for her and i understand". I understand though that maybe the reason she was acting selfish and got angry was because she was a teenager, and I kinda can understand that: teenagers are emotional, or supposed to be emotional, they mess up, they struggle with seeing other peoples' point of view, they struggle with controlling their emotions. I heard some disliking the line in the show "Because thats what teenagers do, teenagers a dumb!" but I agree with it. I wouldnt mind all those mess-ups and flaws in Star in the show , but if Star was faced with that and tried to do better. Instead her flaws werent addressed at all and the show felt like it was actively rewarding her behavior. The whole thing with Tom left a bitter aftertaste for me.. because of how the narrative handled it. I mean the episode where Tom told her he had confided in him mom about her kissing Marco, and she got mad at him. I didnt like Star's reaction and attitude but i try to be understanding toward it. Its more that I didnt like how the show never gave a proper conclusion to that conflict at all and practically let Star get away with it and didnt even hint that what Star did was uncool. As someone who had been on both sides in life, I must say that particular moment felt particularly bad for me. I get that Marco kissed Star bc they tried to get out of the booth, but that doesnt negate the fact that Tom felt hurt by what happened. Yeah, there were reasons behind why they kissed, but the fact that Star kissed Marco behind Tom's back still remains a fact. whats worse was that Star could have told Tom about it and explained it and Tom would've understood, but she chose to never bring that up or simply forgot. Thats just so insensitive and I really dont see any excuses for that. Forgetting about it or trying to avoid telling about it, its like you want to avoid feeling uncomfortable, even though that is something important to your partner, but you only care about your own feelings and dont even take your partner's view on it into consideration. And after her mess up she lashes out on him when he tries to address it peacefully. Even though he was hurt and disrespected, he tried to explain things to her and didnt lash out on her, but she felt she was the one whose feelings were hurt by him because he told his mom about it. I get its hard to say sorry or be confronted about something bc it makes you feel uncomfortable and angry, but if that is something that HURT the other person, you must listen to them and not shift the topic on yourself just because you feel uncomfortable with it or just because theres something in what they did that upset You, completely ignoring what hurt Them in the first place, thats not how relationships/friendships work.

I dont hate Star, its more that I didnt really like how the show gave her a big title that her character didnt really fit, and that made me not like her so much. When someone screams in my face about how great and just someone is, and I see they really arent as great, I feel odd.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Canon: Moon and River because they're sweet and geniune aka couple goals ; Eclipsa x Globgor is couple goals too, and an inspiration for those who struggle in a world where everything is against their love..

For noncanon I used to ship Ludo and Toffee but now I don't want to get all the hate or to be seen as a weirdo or terrible person so I won't be vocal about it no more . I just see a lot of potential in their dynamic based on their stories and I feel like they'd complete each other had they not hated each other.

Character I find most attractive: I can't really answer this because its really hard to determine

Character I would marry: none

Character I would be best friends with: I cant really be 'best friends' with anyone of them but there are some i wouldnt mind being on good terms with

a random thought: My odd opinion and theory.. it feels like the creators wanted to bring shock value by creating a very mysterious and misleading image around a character , to further reveal that all the speculations were wrong and the said character is nothing like what the fandom expected. Aka bring out a mystery or misleading events to then bring a plot twist and reveal the opposite. And they did that several times, with Toffee and Eclipsa, But it only worked once with Eclipsa. The reason it worked with Eclipsa, was because the plot twist was further explained and expanded on and was a huge focus of the show. This trick didn't work with Toffee because his story wasn't expanded on and the shocked viewers didn't get a satisfactory answer to their questions. Besides, it was very unfitting in context of Toffees story and was underwhelming. The hints on his connection with Eclipsa? She just tried to use him as a way to break free but she doesn't even know him and never met him. The drama and suspence in his interaction with Moon..the voice calling her name in the trailer.. turns out they only met once and they kinda shrugged off each other and never met again. I mean i understand that there was some personal grudge against eachother but the show could have at least visually pointed out how they feel toward each other (mean hate, fear, anger for taking away whats important to them ). The ep made it look like they're just strangers to each other whom they forgot on the next day. In defence of moontoffee shippers, the whole "friends to bitter enemies" idea feels far more fitting to the drama and suspence the show had built up prior the revelation..

An unpopular opinion: There's no need to hate starco or creators or the ending even if it was unsatisfactory. Or even if you hate it its okay, but there's no need to make anyone feel bad for it. There are people who loved the show and for whom it means a lot so gotta not destroy that part just because we didn't like the show's flaws and ending.

My Canon OTP: errr.. I do like Eclipsa and Globgor together but I didn't get super into it so I guess i can't really say what's my canon otp

My Non-canon OTP: im too afraid of fandom hate to say it out loud

Most Badass Character: Moon, Ludo

Most Epic Villain: Toffee.. and he's pretty much the only true villain of the show apart from Mina

Pairing I am not a fan of: I don't have one. Well, im not a fan of ships that involve minors

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Star, Magic high commission, Moon, Mina (counting those who are still alive). I feel like there's more but these are the ones that came at the top of my head

Favourite Friendship: oh god..i tried to really think of a friendship in the show but i just realized how much of a mess most friendships have become by the end of the show.. Marco and Janna was pretty wholesome at the end

Character I most identify with: ...

Character I wish I could be: Moon (if i pretend the betrayal never happened), Jackie

[alit0my]

if you're still taking prompts: while in exile Booker dies some death that fucks his brain a bit and makes him lose his memories in a weird way. The team steps in to take care of him in order to prevent the secret from coming out and just care for him bc they still love him. And Booker doesn't remember them but still has FEELINGS from before. And one day he tells them all "I don't remember who any of you are, but I do know that I love you all SO MUCH" and the team is stunned and like "OH GOD"

im always taking prompts anon ;-) i hope you like this!

~

Andy’s cell phone rang in the middle of the night, waking the others as the ringtone blared through the small sleeping quarters. Quickly, she picked up the phone and murmured her apology to the team. 

“Copley? It’s four am, what’s going on?” Andy spoke, knowing the man was on the other end. He was the only person who had the number after all.

“Andy. I’m sorry, but this couldn’t wait until morning. It’s Booker,” Copley said with an urgent tone. “He’s been injured.” 

Andy sat up a bit straighter in her bed, resting against the headboard. “He’s not healing?” 

The others became more awake at her words, glancing at each other in alarm. Booker was still young, there was no way he wasn’t healing.

“Somewhat. I sent him on a simple job to get intel and it went to shit,” Copley sighed. “It’s his memories, they seem to not have returned to him when he woke, and I’m worried that will cause unwanted trouble.” 

Andy’s breath hitched in her throat, her grip on the burner phone tightening. “How far back does he recall?” 

“He thinks he’s back in Marseille, 1800’s. Unsure of the exact year I’m afraid” 

“He’s looking for his family,” Andy cursed quietly, nodding at the others to get ready to leave. “Where is he now? Do you have an address?” 

“I’ll send it through. I’m also not sure if he remembers you, so I’d be weary about busting the door down and putting him on the defensive foot straight away.” 

Andy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Alright, thanks Copley.” 

“What’s happened?” Nicky asked, zipping up his duffel bag. Andy stood and swung her own duffel bag over her shoulder, grabbing the car keys off the bedside table. 

“I’ll explain on the way.”

~

Sebastien stood in front of the land that once held his family home. Finding it an empty field of tall grass made him furrow his brows in confusion. Where was Claire? Louis? Michel? Jean-Pierre? Had they moved and not told him? Surely he hadn’t been away for too long to have the house pulled down and grass to grow. 

He watched as groups of people walked past him, not paying him any mind. Frowning, he tried to find something he could identify in his surroundings, but came up short. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me what happened to my home?” He asked a group that walked by, earning him strange looks. 

“Sir, that has been a vacant block for as long as I can remember. There hasn’t been a property there for years,” One of them replied, smiling even though they were confused. Their answer only made Sebastien just as bewildered. 

“What do you mean? What is the date today?” 

“Um,” the stranger pulled a flat object out of their pocket and then put it back just as quickly. “27th of October, 2036.” 

“20- No, that’s not-” 

Something buzzed in his pocket which cut him off. He reached in, pulling out a contraption that looked familiar, but he couldn’t put his finger on what it was called. He gave the stranger his thanks as they walked off, and the thing still buzzed in his hand, so he flipped it open and brought it to his ear. It seemed like the right thing to do with the object. 

“Booker?” A man’s voice came through, shocking Sebastien. How was this possible? 

“Who are you? Who is Booker?” He spoke in French. “Where is my family?” 

He waited impatiently before the other man replied in shaky but understandable French. “Sebastien, my apologies. I understand you might be feeling lost, but I have people on the way to help you.” 

“Who? I don’t want help! I want my wife and children!” He shouted, throwing his hands in the air. 

“I understand, but right now you need to get to the address I’m going to send you. Can you manage that?” 

Sebastien pulled the phone away from his ear as the object buzzed once more. The address that appeared on the screen wasn’t too far from where he was. 

“Sebastien?” 

Bringing the phone to his ear once more, he nodded. “I-I will be there.” 

~

Sebastien walked up to the door of the address the man had sent him, finding the key under the course mat outside. Walking into the house, he was greeted with four strangers. Halting at the entrance, fingers still gripping the doorknob tightly, he chuckled awkwardly. 

“I think- I might be in the wrong place,” he stammered, the French slurring together as he rushed the words. “So sorry.” 

“Nonsense,” the older woman spoke in perfect French. “Come in. We are here to help you.” 

Sebastien hesitantly closed the door behind him as he stared at the group. The two men sat together on the couch, a little too close for what was normal with their knees touching. The younger woman had dark skin and tight braids falling over her shoulders, and the other woman had short hair, like his own. Sebastien blinked and shoved his shaky hands into his pockets. These people seemed familiar to him, but he didn’t know how. 

“You can’t help me unless you know what happened to my family,” he whispered and cast his eyes to the floor, missing the knowing looks shared between the strangers. 

“Book- Sebastien, your family is standing right in front of you.”

He looked up and scoffed. “Non, unless I gained two daughters and my wife cheated on me with darker men, you are not my family.” 

He saw the man with curly hair clench his fists and the young woman clench her jaw. He had hit a nerve, but he was unaware of why. 

“Okay, let’s start with our names, no? I’m Andromache,” the fair woman spoke again, gaining his attention once more. “Everyone calls me Andy.” 

“Nile,” the dark woman said.

“Nicolo,” he said with a strong Italian accent.

“Yusuf,” was said with a curt nod. 

None of the names brought Sebastien any closer to figuring out what the hell was happening. At his blank face, Andromache spoke once more. 

“Can I ask what year you think it is?” 

“1807,” he replied, and he gauged their reactions. 

“Alright,” Andromache nodded, chewing at her bottom lip. “Well, we’re here to help you remember. But I think we should start with dinner?” 

’Remember what?’ Sebastien thought, but nodded, which set everything into motion. 

~

He had learned that they called him Booker. He was unsure as to why, and they refused to tell him, so he paid it no mind. They shared stories of their time together, leaving out his betrayal all those years ago, but Sebastien couldn’t remember any of it, and nothing was flashing in his mind as a reminder. 

Months passed and Winter settled over France, sending chills through Sebastien’s bones even when he was seated in front of the woodfire with a woolen jumper wrapped around him. His fingers shook as he flipped the pages of the novel he was reading and he grunted in frustration, placing the book down by his side and sticking his hands out in front of him, closer to the fire to warm them. 

Sebastien frowned as he absently stared at his hands in front of the flames. He remembered that he loved the cold, playing in the snow and building snowmen with his siblings, all of them returning home with noses and ears flushed red, so he couldn’t understand why he felt so cold now. 

Yusuf -Joe- sat down next to him and silently offered to share the blanket that was wrapped around his shoulders. Only hesitating for a moment, Sebastien scooted closer to Joe and leant into the warmth that radiated off him, feeling the blanket wrap around his shoulders and Joe’s hand squeeze his arm. 

It felt familiar, friendly, loving. 

“Did we ever tell you about Russia?” Joe asked quietly, keeping his eyes on the flames. At the shake of Booker’s head, he continued. “It’s where you first died in 1812, fighting for Napoleon.” 

Booker closed his eyes and tried to remember, but nothing came to mind. He felt frustrated, surely memories would have started to seep through back into his mind, but nothing ever did. Instead, he rested his head on Joe’s shoulder and snuggled closer to him. 

“You.. You were hung for desertion, and you hung for three days before the Grande Armee left camp. We didn’t find you until you were nearly back to France,” Joe spoke softly, and Sebastien could listen to his voice forever. ��A Russian winter can be so utterly cruel, and your immortality made you suffer over and over while your comrades succumbed to death. It is why you feel the phantom cold as you are, and a few years ago we discovered that they stop when you are cuddling with one of us as we are now.” 

Sebastien thought over the new information. Fighting for Napoleon in Russia? Surely not.

He didn’t mind the cuddles though. 

“I’m sorry I don’t remember any of you,” Sebastien spoke, voice breaking through it’s lack of use. He found himself not speaking much, preferring to listen to the stories his friends told him and asking questions when he got lost. 

“Nonsense, Bastien.” Joe ran his hand through Sebastien’s hair softly. “We’re here to help you remember, no matter how long it takes.” 

~

The pair had moved to the couch by the time the others had returned home from their shopping, Nile being adamant about having a big dinner for Christmas in a few days. Sebastien was curled into Joe’s side with the blanket still wrapped around them both, and he felt himself flush at the looks they got from the others. 

Nicolo -Nicky, now, remember?- smiled and walked over, kissing both Joe and Sebastien on the cheek in greeting, before crouching down in front of them. “How are you doing, Bas?” 

“Better. Joe is rather warm,” Sebastien replied, curling further into said man’s warmth. 

“He is, isn’t he,” Nicky chuckled softly, grabbing Sebastien’s hands and rubbing his thumbs over the cool palms. “Nile is cooking dinner tonight. Don’t tell her, but I don’t have much faith in her.” 

Sebastien laughed loudly before burying his face in Joe’s neck as Nile rounded the corner with a faux annoyed look on her face. “Hey! I’m a good cook!” 

Nicky moved to sit on Sebastien’s other side, and rolled his eyes playfully. “I’m sure you are, Nile. That soup you made a few weeks ago was seriously under seasoned.” 

“How dare you! Never in my life would I have imagined a white man telling me I’ve under seasoned my food!” Nile scoffed, but it had become their thing to tease the other about their dinners, so Sebastien didn’t intervene. He had each and every dynamic sorted out by now, and he knew this was playful. 

He felt warmth blossom from his chest as he watched them interact, playfully jabbing at the use of spices and ingredients in Nile’s failed soup attempt, and a grin spread across his lips. Sebastien truly felt at home with these people, they made him feel safe and happy and were always there for him.

He didn’t let himself think that maybe it was because of his memories no longer being with him. He didn’t want to tarnish the few months they’ve had together by believing they didn’t want to be around him. 

He was brought out of his thoughts by a dishtowel hitting him flush in the face. “Hey!” 

“Sorry Book! I was aiming for Nicky!” Nile laughed as the towel fell short when he threw it back to her. Andy had joined them in the room, opting to sit on the armrest of the single recliner with a glass of water in her hands. Sebastien didn’t know what it was about the woman that drew these deep feelings out of him, but he didn’t shy away from them. He didn’t shy away from anything he was feeling towards this little group he found himself in. 

“You good?” Andy asked across the room, making eye contact with the Frenchman. Sebastien thought for a moment, going back to how he fit into this little family, and he nodded, smiling as Nile entered the room with a tray of biscuits. 

“I may not remember who any of you are, but I do know that I love you all, so very much.” 

~ 

Weeks passed and Sebastien -non, Booker- still remembered the looks on his family’s faces as he told them he loves them. The amount of tears spilled that night would have filled the Seine, and he wouldn’t change it for the world. They had ended up in a dogpile on the couch, holding each other close and whispering words of affirmation to each other, promises were made and love was shared. 

Waking up the next morning with a stiff neck but surrounded by the four most important people in his life was worth it. 

Booker woke with a jolt, breathing heavy as he orientated himself. Still surrounded by four bodies, all still and silent, he closed his eyes again and took a few deep breaths. His dream was strange to say the least, with all five of them shooting their way out of an extremely white building, with flashes of being strapped to a plinth in a lab fighting to stay in Booker’s recollection. What on earth had happened?

“Book? Are you okay?” Nicky whispered as he shifted by his side. “Hey, you’re safe.” 

“I know, I know, I just.. I had a weird dream,” Booker whispered back, shimmying a hand out from the blanket that was still wrapped around himself and Joe, to rub at his face. 

“Tell me?” 

Booker paused. “We were fighting in a building. It was really white and there were a lot of corridors, and so many bodies. I’m getting flashes of us strapped down to tables also,” he stopped as he gauged Nicky’s face, which had turned sour. “W-What did I do?” 

He heard a soft curse from his other side which drew his attention to Andy. “Of course the one thing you remember is the worst possible,” she mumbled and sat up. 

“What did I do?” Booker repeated. If he had caused them pain, then that changed everything. 

“Something that you have already paid for,” Nicky grabbed his hand and squeezed it. “It was a painful yet brief moment in our lives, but you need not worry about it anymore.” 

Booker frowned but nodded. He didn’t want to argue so he kept his mouth shut, but that didn’t stop him from searching his brain for answers. 

~

The team had taken up a job from Copley, who Booker discovered was the man who had called him that day in Marseille, and were infiltrating a small terrorist hideout. It was meant to be easy; a stakeout had meant that no resistance should have been present when they attacked, but alas, nothing is ever that easy.

Upon extraction, they had been ambushed by a few terrorists who had returned, and all hell broke loose. Bullets flew through the air and swords hacked away at bodies, and they almost made it out without a casualty. 

Almost.

Booker was shot in the chest and went down. He felt the warmth spread under his clothes and he dropped to his knees, feeling dizzy and the world went black. 

Joe cursed and pulled Booker’s body into an alcove, hiding them from the gunfire. Joe had his gun in his hands, half watching Booker and half looking for any threats coming their way. Andy had reached their location and stood guard as Nile and Nicky joined them, guns still raised in case they had to use them. 

Joe grabbed Booker’s hand and squeezed it, praying silently for his friend’s return to life. He waited anxiously and glanced at Nicky, who had the same look of despair on his face. Joe counted the minutes, praying harder as it went over five. 

“C’mon, Booker,” Andy whispered, nudging the man’s arm with her boot gently. “You’re still in this game with me, remember?” 

A moment passes, and with a gasp the Frenchman sucked in a breath and opened his eyes, frantically searching for his family. Not needing to look far, he immediately calmed at the sight of them altogether. 

“Hey,” he grinned, looking at them all. “Hey Boss.” 

Andy let out a strangled sound and knelt down beside him, encasing him in the tightest hug he thinks he’s ever received from her. 

“You asshole. It’s not your fault but you’re an asshole,” she mumbled as they pulled away. “Is everything back? Do you remember everything?” 

Booker nodded as he quickly ran through his brain, picking out key moments in his life that shaped him for the better and for the worse. “I’m all here, Boss.” 

Booker had the breath knocked out of him as Joe hugged him tight, and he laughed softly, returning it in earnest. 

“If all you had to do was die to get your memories back I would have shot you myself!” Joe huffed as he pulled away, smiling as he picked up his gun that was dropped by his feet. 

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Nile interrupted. “But we’re in the middle of a terrorist camp. Can we have a happy reunion when we are, I don’t know, safe?”

Booker laughed and stood with the help of Joe and Nicky and he raised his rifle, fighting with the team seamlessly as they escaped the compound. 

Back at the safehouse, they showered each other in tight hugs and shared memories and alcohol, toasting to their love for one another as they drank the night away.

~

Available on AO3 also: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26527225 

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 5: Don’t Even Think About It]

Hi y’all! I’m so sorry I’ve been gone for so long...finals and job hunting got the best of me. I will be updating more frequently going forward. As always, thank you so much for reading!! 💜😘

Series summary: You are an overwhelmed and disenchanted nurse in Boston, Massachusetts. Queen is an eccentric British rock band you’ve never heard of. But once your fates intertwine in the summer of 1974, none of your lives will ever be the same...

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, very very very little sexual content.

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @bookandband​ @queen-crue​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

You’re in the crowd at The Rainbow, although you aren’t sure why; this has already happened.

Freddie is skulking across the fog-draped stage as he belts out the chorus of In The Lap Of The Gods...Revisited, all glistening tan skin and teased hair, a pillar of nimble black leather; John is only a silhouette in the mist. Brian looks like something that’s crawled out of a cocoon: leggy and insect-like, the sleeves of his flowing white blouse like a pair of wings. And Roger...Roger’s in the back, of course—“the hardworking one in the back,” he always says—with a glittery black kimono-like shrug hanging loosely off his bare shoulders. He’s drumming feverishly, sprays of Heineken flying off his floor tom, his forehead and blond hair dripping.

“Whoa, whoa, la la la, whoa...

I can see what you want me to be,

But I'm no fool,

It's in the lap of the gods...”

Somehow, as the fog clears, Roger’s eyes find you in the crowd. He grins in that effervescent, blameless way that he does. And now you know for sure that this is a dream; because there’s no chance Roger could see that far without his glasses.

There’s a banging noise coming from somewhere, but it’s muted, distant, splintered like an echo.

Dream Roger is fading away, dissolving as the lights shade to black on the stage. He disappears, and then Freddie does too, and then Brian, and finally John. The crowd you’re standing in is a sea of churning, indistinguishable faces.

The banging grows louder, closer. You can hear a new voice now.

You swim up from unconsciousness and punch into daylight. You’re laying on your back in bed in a small, rustic hotel room; it takes you a second to remember what the world looks like now. It’s not November at the Rainbow Theater. It’s December 11th, and you’re in Rome.  

You sit up in bed and turn towards the door. Whoever is out there is knocking so forcefully that the distressed wood rattles on its hinges.

“Hey, Dorothea Dix, wake up!” Freddie is shouting through the door.

You rub your eyes as your feet touch the cool teak floor. The band flew into Rome late last night, and has one full day to burn before their concert on the 12th. You’d pitched the idea of visiting a few museums, the Colosseum, the Pantheon, the Roman Forum, St. Peter's Basilica, maybe even the Baths of Caracalla or the Temple of Venus and Roma; but it had been difficult to get anyone to commit at 2 a.m. when you were all exhausted and dragging luggage into the modest, quite geriatric hotel. Queen may finally have a Top 20 album in the U.S., but the streets aren’t paved with gold just yet.

“Darling, need I remind you that this was all your idea, you simply must wake up this instant—!”

You swing the door open. Freddie is standing in the hallway in a vivid yellow-and-black jacket and white jeans, tall boots, dark hair huge and curly, folded aviator sunglasses peeking out of his pocket.

“Get ready, bitch,” he says, grinning, then slips the sunglass over his dusky eyes. “All those gorgeous marble blokes with their cocks hanging out aren’t going to ogle themselves.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You start with the ruins, then end up at the National Roman Museum after lunch. Brian and Chrissie meander through the halls of cracked marble goddesses and heroes and piecemeal fractions of bodies, their hands intertwined; Chrissie took a few days off work to meet the band in Rome, and she’s glowing with the thrill of being reunited with Bri. Freddie is contemplating the displays, tapping his chin thoughtfully and chatting as John nods along and sketches in his notebook. There’s a photographer scurrying around snapping photos of the band for some magazine, to the vexation of the museum employees. They scowl from the corners of the rooms, their suits pristine and arms crossed, muttering to each other in Italian.

Roger leaps in front of a hulking statue of Perseus and mimics the pose. “What do you think?” he asks you, wielding an invisible spear. “Am I courageous? Divine? A mirror image?”

“You’ll have to work on the hair. And gain like a hundred pounds.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Pounds?!”

“Whoops. Kilos. A lot of kilos. But I think I like you as you are. Can I see your hands?”

Roger falls out of his pose, smiling. “Yes ma’am.” He presents his palms for inspection. The first weeks had been hell for him as his hands were worked into touring shape, repeatedly blistered and worn raw, iced and treated and bandaged by you each night only to be pummeled all over again the next day. Of course, Roger hadn’t described it that way; he shrugged at the blood and swollen knuckles, his eyes already alight with the promise of future shows. That’s just a casualty of fame, love, he’d told you. I’d take it all again and more. The last of his blisters have healed now into discolored callouses, rough whirlpools of memories from cities like Glasgow and Bristol and Helsinki and Munich. “I can get more pounds too, you know. I’ll be swimming in them. I’m gonna buy you a mansion when we get home.”

“Not so fast, blondie.” You graze your thumbs over his rugged palms and release him. Aside from your annoyingly incessant concern for Roger, your job hasn’t proved to be too taxing: there have been sprains, minor lacerations, severe hangovers, some alcohol poisoning, and one case of syphilis that you identified and sent the unfortunate man to a doctor for, all of which afflicted the roadies rather than the band.

“How’s Jo doing?” Chrissie calls over from where she and Brian are scrutinizing a sculpture of Apollo. She tosses Roger a smirk.

“Fine,” he replies briskly. “It was amicable. She understood. Nothing personal, just with the tour and everything we knew it wasn’t going to work out. Bad timing, that’s all.”

“Hm. That’s not exactly how she described it.”

Roger sighs, irritated. “Well, Chris, I really can’t control what she chooses to tell you, can I?”

“Shhhh. Play nice, love,” Brian coos, massaging Chrissie’s shoulders.

Roger pops a cigarette between his lips and moves to light it. A museum employee rushes over, waving his arms frantically. “Per favore, signore, no smoking near the exhibits—!”

“Oh, right, right. Sorry.” Roger tucks the cigarette away, then turns back to you. “Okay, no mansion then. What’s your fancy? Diamonds and gold? Tigers on leashes?”

“A harem of sensual Italian men?” Freddie suggests. Chrissie bursts out laughing.

“I hope not,” Roger says.

“You know what I really want?” you say, eyeing busts of Hadrian and Nero.

“What?” Chrissie asks.

“A camera. A really good one. To document all of this, our adventures. I mean, I know we have...” You wave towards the magazine photographer, who’s mostly snapping shots of Freddie and Roger. “But it would be nice to have my own photos. Carry them around in my wallet, force strangers to look at them, cover my refrigerator with them, all that sentimental stuff. So the minute you kids start making real money, I’d like a nice Canon. Or a Nikon. Or whatever the best camera is.”

“The Canon F-1 is quite good,” the photographer offers.

“Perfect! Clearly, I know nothing about cameras. And will need a hefty instruction manual. But I’m still excited.”

Roger winks. “I believe in you.”

As you all wander into the next room, Freddie spies a grand piano and sprints to it. He slides onto the bench and begins testing the keys. A distraught museum employee appears instantly.

“Signore, please, this is for the museum staff only, please signore!”

“Oh relax, darling, I won’t break it.” He begins experimenting with some light, jazzish melody.

“I love Rome,” you decide as you stroll past the Aphrodite of Menophantos. “Are you sure we can’t stay here forever?”

John frowns as he shades in whatever he’s drawing in his notebook. “It’s too bad we couldn’t make it to Florence.”

Freddie rolls his eyes from the piano. “Deaky, darling, this Dante’s Inferno obsession has got to go. It’s positively morbid.”

“He ends up in paradise,” John protests wryly.

Freddie snorts. “Yes, well, Florence is a three hour drive each way. Next time perhaps. Once we’ve all got private jets and Nurse Nightingale over there has her posh camera.”

“And we’ve acquired trophy wives to pose with us,” Brian jokes. Chrissie squeals and shoves him good-naturedly.  

“We could go to the beach,” John proposes.

“A seaside rendezvous?” you say playfully.  

Freddie hums and nods as his fingers fly over black and white keys.

“Signore...” the museum employee begs. The photographer circles Freddie and the piano, snapping picture after picture.

“The beach?!” Roger whines. “It’s too cold for that! We can’t swim, we can’t sunbathe practically naked, what’s the point? And we’re checking out that club tonight. The one by the hotel, what’s it called, Fred? El Fuocolio?”

“Il Fuoco,” Freddie corrects, amused.

“Ah. Forgive me for not keeping up with my Italian.”

“We don’t all listen to opera, you know,” you tease Freddie. He peers over at you thoughtfully, then continues playing. “I’ll go to the beach with you, John.”

He almost drops his notebook and pencil. “Will you?”

“Of course. I’ll have fewer opportunities in my life to see the Italian seaside than get tipsy and evade dodgy men at some bar, most likely. Although I will miss seeing your dancing.”

“Aww!” Now Roger is dejected, his huge blue eyes pleading. “You have to come with us.”

“Next time,” you promise him.

“This time.”

“Next time.”

“Fine.” He points at John. “Don’t let her get eaten by a shark or run off with some Italian playboy.”

John grins. “I’ll do my best.”

Two burly security guards arrive and begin shouting at Freddie in Italian. “Oh fine, fine!” he snaps as he stands and abandons the piano. The museum employee beams triumphantly.

“Fred, I think we’ve tormented them enough,” Brian says.

“Bri, can we go to the beach too?” Chrissie asks. “Please?”

“It’ll be chilly.”

“I have a jacket. And I can borrow yours if necessary.”  

Brian chuckles. “Okay. We can go. Ostia’s the closest one, I suppose.”

“You’ll love it,” you tell him. “It’ll be like time travelling. You get to stand on the same shore that the ancient Romans did, bury your feet in the same sand, watch the same sunset. That should appeal to an astrophysicist such as yourself.”  

“How poetic,” John muses.

Roger comes to you, shrugs off his black leather jacket, drapes it over your violet sweater.

“Roger, don’t—”

“I’ll miss you,” he interrupts, smiling, then presses his lips fleetingly to your forehead.

~~~~~~~~~~

The four of you take a crowded, decidedly unglamorous bus to Ostia and walk the beaches under the fading afternoon sun. It is chilly by the crashing water, and the wind whips across your cheeks forcefully enough to sting; but none of that stops you. Brian and John collect seashells, and Brian retreads all the details of the tour—all the things he wishes he could do over, all the things he wants to change going forward—as John listens, smoking and nodding when appropriate. You and Chrissie kneel in the cool sand and shape castles with your hands, giggle about how messy and lopsided they are, scribble notes in the soft sifting remnants of stone and quartz: Chrissie loves Bri, Buy Sheer Heart Attack today, Queen was here. And you’re thinking about Roger more than you should be, and Chrissie knows it; but she’s not going to say anything about that now.

When the boys come back, Bri sits in the sand next to Chrissie and begins to decorate her castle with the shells he found: scallops and clams and tulip shells and oysters and tiny lightning whelks. She claps and hugs him, leaps into his lap, pulls him in for a kiss.  

“This is terribly unfair,” you say, staring morosely at your now even less impressive sandcastle.

John appears beside you and offers a massive pink conch filled with very small, pristine, glossy shells. You gasp and clasp a palm over your heart.

“Really?!”

“Yeah,” he says, puzzled. “Who do you think I picked them for?”

“You’re the best. The absolute best. A treasure. I owe you my life. Wait...” You pick up a thin shard of driftwood and write into the side of your sandcastle: John Deacon, and then a heart encircling it. “You are officially lord of the sandcastle.”

“A prestigious position, surely,” he says, smiling, then passes you the conch. “Go on.”

As you place the shells, he finds a dried bit of seaweed and impales it on the piece of driftwood, then plants the makeshift flag on the tallest tower of the castle.

Brian glances over and shakes his head, his mess of curls shivering. “Chris, love, I fear we’ve been outdone.” Then he nods to the words you and Chrissie carved with your fingertips. “Leaving letters in the sand?”

“Promotional material,” you quip; but you can tell the wheels in Brian’s magnificent mind are whirling.

As the sun sets over the Mediterranean Sea, golden speckles of light floating disembodied on the waves, the four of you get gelato and browse through bookstores and wander down cobblestone streets. And on the bus ride back to the hotel, Brian points out constellations as you hold the conch shell in your lap and doze against John’s shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~

Brian and Chrissie depart to get dinner when you arrive back at the hotel, taking the rare opportunity for a date night. You try to think of a more romantic destination than Rome. Paris? New York? Venice? Probably none of those. You push the images that flood your thoughts away: candlelit meals with violins serenading in the background, the warm cascading glow of streetlights, tossing coins into fountains older than either London or Boston, gazing over the table and into the ensnaring oceanic eyes of the person who won’t be there. Roger.

“Do you think Roger and Fred are back yet?” you ask John in the lobby. He’s still got his notebook in his jacket pocket, but he won’t let you see it.

“I doubt it, but let’s find out.”

You ride the elevator to the band’s floor, still clutching the conch shell, as John fields ideas for dinner.

“Roger’s going to want pizza and beer, but we might be able to get Freddie to go for something more swanky. Actually, he’ll probably order dessert first. There’s a restaurant down the street that I heard has phenomenal tiramisu and lasagna.”

“Oh god. I would kill for a good lasagna.”

“No need for all that,” John says. “We don’t have enough cash for your bail.”

“If they serve lasagna in prison, you can leave me here.”

“But then who would patch up our debaucherous roadies?!”

You laugh as the elevator lurches to a halt and the doors open. “Just call me up in prison and I can talk you through it—”

You step out and turn down the hallway; then all the air vanishes from your lungs. Roger’s fumbling with his key as he tries to get into his room...and pressed between him and the door is a raven-haired, modelesque woman in a short red dress. His eyes are closed, her tongue darting between his lips, his free hand skating up her bare thigh and beneath her dress. And suddenly you’re being dragged back into the elevator, John’s arms locked around your waist. He hits the button for the lobby then reaches for you uncertainly.

“Are you okay—?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m totally fine, I’m...” But for some reason, your throat is burning and your eyes are blurring with tears. You try to blink them away and they drop down your cheeks like rain.

“You’re not,” he realizes softly.

“Goddammit,” you choke out, sobbing.

“Hey, don’t do that,” John pleads. “Please don’t do that, please don’t cry—”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, this is so stupid...” You fan your face and try to wrangle your breathing. The way he was touching her...I can’t forget the way he was touching her. “I am so stupid.”

“You’re not,” John flares. And when he opens his arms you rush into them, burying your face in his jacket as he pulls you closer, drowning you in his warmth. “You’re not stupid,” he says, quietly but severely. “You’re wicked smart and wonderful and perfect, so you’re not allowed to say anything to the contrary. Alright?”

“Okay,” you whisper. And it occurs to you—as your breathing slows, as your tears subside—how incomparably comfortable this feels, homey even.

John clears his throat. “Hey, not to break this up or anything, but you’re sort of stabbing me with the conch shell.”

Incredibly, you laugh as you back away, swiping at your eyes. “Sorry.”

The elevator doors open, and John leads you out into the lobby. “Here’s what’s going to happen,” he says. “We’re going to go to that restaurant on the corner and I’m going to order a lasagna—”

“John, I don’t think I can eat anything.”

“Doesn’t matter. Did I say you were going to be forced to eat it at gunpoint? No I did not. I’m going to order a lasagna, and if you want some awesome, and if you don’t we’ll just sit and talk. And you can nibble table bread or drink so much wine you forget today ever happened, whatever you want. You make the rules. But we’re going, and I’m ordering lasagna.”

“Okay,” you reply, sniffling, smiling up at him gratefully.

The restaurant is teeming with tourists, and you end up seated at a tiny table near the back with very dim lighting and a roaring fireplace. It’s deliciously hot, burning away your misery; or, at least, making it feel as if it might belong to someone else, as if maybe you heard about it from a friend or in a song, maybe even dreamed it. You take Roger’s leather jacket off and hang it on the back of your chair. When the waiter arrives, John orders for you.

“One lasagna, the biggest one you have, and extra table bread, and uh...” He skims the menu. “Two red wines and a Coke. And a sparkling water. So the lady has a selection.”

“Si, signore. Grazie.”

When the waiter leaves, John lifts off his jacket too, then unbuttons his shirt to his navel. The sweltering glow of the firelight dances across his pale skin in a way that is mysteriously distracting. “Well, it definitely doesn’t feel like December in here.”

“I’m sorry, maybe they could move us—”

“No, that’s alright, I know you like it. And one should be sweating in Southern Italy, don’t you think?” He tears off a hunk of bread when it arrives and plates it for you. The conch shell lays on the table by the salt and pepper shakers, to the visible confusion of the waiter.

“Thank you. For everything, John. Really.”

He gazes at you with those blue-grey eyes that can look like either clouds or steel depending on the occasion. Tonight they are misty, like the froth over waves, impossibly soft. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he says gently. “I don’t know if that helps at all, but I think it should. It doesn’t mean anything to someone like Roger, what you saw tonight.”

You sigh. “I guess it doesn’t. And I’m sorry, I know it’s ridiculous, I know that, and I’m just so frustrated and...and...I get it, I get that I have no right to care about anything Roger does, which is why I feel like such an idiot for reacting this way, but I just...I just...I’m just so...so fucking torn up about it and I’m sick of being surrounded by it all the time and I’m...I’m so...I’m...look, I’m sorry, can you button your shirt or something? That’s very distracting.”

“Oh, it’s distracting, is it?” John asks, grinning.

“Don’t you dare—”

He undoes several more buttons. “How about now, are you sufficiently distracted?”

“John, no!” you wail, laughing.

“I wouldn’t want to do anything to distract you from your tortured inner monologue...” He removes his shirt entirely and tosses it to the floor. “How are you now?”

“Very distracted,” you wheeze.

“Excellent.” He smiles, resting his face in his hands, the firelight flickering over his bare chest and shoulders, reflections of flames in his eyes. “See, you don’t look so sad now.”

“No, I guess I don’t.” You bite into your hunk of bread. But still, the way he was touching her...  

John sips red wine and smirks teasingly. “You know...if you ever get tired of the celibate lifestyle...I’m always game.”

You laugh, shaking your head, and open the Coke bottle. “That’s very much appreciated. But I don’t just want sex.”

“I know,” he replies, solemnly now. “You want him.”

“That’s pretty pathetic, isn’t it?”

“I don’t think you’re pathetic at all.” That seems like it must be a lie, but John sounds genuine.

“You’re my best friend, you know,” you tell him. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Certainly not get treated to authentic Italian lasagna.”

You chuckle. “I’m sure that’s the least of your talents. Veronica is a very lucky woman.”

John nods, staring down at the table now, pushing crumbs around with the back of his hand. “If you say so.”

And, in the end, you managed to eat your half of the lasagna after all.

~~~~~~~~~~

When you get back to your hotel room, it’s very late in Italy...which means it’s only early evening in Boston. You pick up the phone and resolve to use the last of your miniscule weekly allowance for a long distance call.

Your mom answers on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Guess where I am right now.”

“Hopefully on a date with that nice Roger boy.”

“Oh my god, Mom.”

She titters pleasantly. “Tell me, dear. Germany? No, no. Spain.”

“Rome.”

“Oh!” she sighs, steeped in nostalgia. “Daddy and I went there on our honeymoon! Ages ago, of course. But it was wonderful, otherworldly. Like getting lost in a fairytale. How do you like it?”

“I love it,” you murmur. “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Always, dear.”

You twirl the phone cord around your fingers anxiously. “How did you know that Dad was the one?”

“Hm.” She pauses; and you can envision the way she takes a step back and glances up at the ceiling whenever she’s thinking something over. Oh, maybe I do still miss parts of Boston. “Well...you know Daddy wasn’t single when we met. And neither was I.”

“Yeah, I think I remember that part of the story.”

“I’m not sure if I can explain it, dear. Truly. I...” She drifts off, pondering it. Finally, she says: “I’d had plenty of other boyfriends. I’d been interested in other people. And people are all so different, they all have something unique to offer to your life, whether good or evil. But when I met your father...I just felt like I couldn’t live without him. Suddenly nothing else seemed possible if he wasn’t in the picture. Like if he wasn’t there I’d spend the rest of my life missing him. Does that answer your question?”

“It does, yeah.” You close your eyes and feel the dark Mediterranean night air breeze in through the open window. The conch shell has found a temporary home on top of the antique dresser. “I love you, Mom.”

“Aww, I love you too, honey. And you’ll make the right decision, whatever that is.”

You look out into the constellations that Brian introduced to you earlier, Aries and Fornax and Perseus. “I hope so.”

[kindajared]

Naomi Bianco (My OC)

AH IM NERVOUS BUT HERE SHE BE

Name: Naomi Bianco

Age: 22

Gender: F

Nationality: Italian

Height: 5’4’’ (163 cm)

Weight: 115 Ibs

Eyes: Bright Green

Hair: Black (Long and straight, thick)

DOB: January 5th, 1979

POB: Venezia, Italy

Family: Angela and Mario (Mother and father) (Alive?), Leo and Americo (Brothers 3 and 1 year(s) younger) (Deceased)

Occupation: Assassin

Stand: Slipknot

Ability: Ropes. They can constrict and tie down anything, they can also manifest inside people. Senses by even the slightest movements when the target can’t be seen. 1-8 M

Power: B Speed: B Range: C Staying: B Precision: B Learning: C

Likes: Warm Weather, Energy Drinks, Strawberries, Hot Chocolate

Dislikes: Thunder, Coffee, Bugs, Vegetables (Baby)

Strengths: Physically strong, levelheaded, intelligent, caring

Weaknesses: Reckless, clumsy, irritable, picky

Movies: Hellraiser and Blood Simple

Music: Tool and Motley Crüe

Attire: Black Wedges- Black, latex, pants (Low riding)- silver chain belt- loose fitting, black, tank top- thick, white, suspenders-thin leather jacket with faux fur on its hood.

Jewelry: Thick, black, choker- black arm bands,

piercings: -all lobe and cartilage piercings.

Tattoos: Bothers’ initials behind her ears-Hexagram on her left hip

Scars: 6 inch thick scar on her upper back from a mugging-one 3 inch thin scar between her thigh from an attempted r*pe

MNottable personality traits: Extroverted, Sarcastic, Humorous, Heart of Gold, Crude, Flirty

The way she treats you usually depends on her first impression. If she’s turned off, she may not be interested in getting to know you, if it’s the other way around, she’ll want to become fast friends.

She’s drawn to people who are similar to her- Rowdy and Funny. Not much of a filter, very friendly most times if you give off the right vibe. She’s really good at identifying the kind of person you are based on your demeanor. She does like to take chanced- approaching people she normally wouldn’t, curious.

She doesn’t usually judge people by looks, but if it’s something drastic. She certainly will.

She’s extremely flirty and will absolutely come and say hello if she finds you attractive, though she also knows how to play it cool. If it’s the other way around, she’ll act as she would with anyone else, approaching her won’t bother her, unless they don’t back off after she tells them to. It also depends on the way they treat her. You better use the right tone.

She’s a little intimidating looking when she’s not smiling, but when she curls her lips into a smile, you can tell that she’s most likely sweet- though be wary- she acts roughly some of the time.

She absolutely does not get along with everyone. She tries not to be too particular, but she can be. She’s a picker and a chooser.

She doesn’t show her emotions often- refuses to cry or open up to people-unless you get her drunk. She will open up if you get close enough to her, but tears will eventually fall if you bring up her brothers.

If you ask her about the tattoos behind her ears, she’ll tell you what they are, but will be hesitant to tell you the backstory behind them A.B. and L.B. for Americo and Leo Bianco

Backstory:

Born to her mother and father, Angela and Mario Bianco. She had a very happy childhood, lots of friends, a small family, good education and middle class.

It all fell apart when she was 16. Her brother, Leo, was hit by a car, snapping his neck and crushing his body. He died instantly on impact. The driver sped off and she and Americo saw the entire thing happen before their eyes.

This was when their parents disappeared, leaving her and her brother to find their own way, managing to find places to stay as they aged.

She manifested her stand soon after. The rage inside her took its toll and she swore to herself that she’d find the driver, though there was no evidence on who it may have been.

And then came the age of 19. She planned to attend school to become a mortician and worked a summer job at a night club, bartending.

To her dismay, Leo had begun dealing drugs after Americo’s death, craving money and anything that could take his mind off of it. He got away with it for 4 years before Passione finally got to him when he began to sell more than he bargained for, becoming a top seller.

Naomi and her brother had been living together in an apartment in central Venenzia. A prime location for the both of them to do as they pleased. Naomi made good money doing what she did, and Leo did the same.

Then came the day when the rest of her world came crashing down.

It was around 11 at night and there was a knock at the door, which she answered, quickly being pushed to the side by a man she didn’t recognize. He barged into the living room, approaching Leo and shooting him in the chest, straight through the heart. Naomi was shocked and enraged, letting her stand ‘Slipknot’ do it’ work.

She manifested ropes inside of his body, slowly constricting all of his vital organs until his body shut down. His gun was useless, as he was bound by his neck and arms. He died a slow and painful death.

Naomi rushed to Leo’s side, barely having time to say goodbye to hear dear brother. Her world was now shattered, and she no longer cared for anything or anyone except for finding out who did this.

She was able to hack the strange man’s phone, finding out Passione were the ones that ordered the man to kill her brother. She was at a loss. She couldn’t fight the Mafia…what was she to do?

Word eventually got out that this strange man had been killed and Naomi ran, though not far. She quit her job and found a new place to stay on the outskirts of Venezia. She simply couldn’t leave her home.

She managed to stay on the run for 3 years (I know it’s ridiculous) until she was found….walking home from hernew job, another bartending job at a smaller facility. She was apprehended on her walk home, confined and helpless, threatened by other Mafioso. She refused to surrender; she wouldn’t let herself die…though she had to give in…she had to let go.

Passione had caught her and that was the end of that, but their plan was not to kill her…but to use her. She had a powerful stand, not to mention she had evaded them for 3 whole years. She was then assigned to La Squadra Esecuzioni.

La Squadra:

Her relationship with the squad is rather Chaotic. As you can imagine, she has a hard time getting along with all of them. She’s the only female, so as expected, they do indeed want to get along with her for various reasons.

She gets along best with Proscuitto. He’s like the big brother she never had and wanted. Though the two of them are very different, they just work. Though she’s a little too affectionate towards him for his tastes, but he cares for her.

Next is Pesci. She simply doesn’t have anything to hold against him. She actually takes care of him as sort of a big sister. He’s sensitive and she feels sort of sorry for him.

Her and Melone get along well. She really enjoys being around him and his personality. They are probably the most similar out of all the squad. She’s very touchy feely with him and he doesn’t mind one bit.

And here comes Illuso. They weren’t fans of each other at first, getting ticked off at little things the other did. They eventually got over their silly rivalry by suggestion from the others.

Her and Formaggio…aren’t exactly friends. They fight over money and how sloppy one another is. They are usually teamed up together, working well oddly enough. She thinks Risotto teams her up with him to torture her.

Her and Ghiacco have a love/hate relationship. They glare and scoff at each other, fighting over money, and yet whenever Ghiaccio is having any sort of break down, she can’t help but hug him. She holds him while hushing him, “Shhh, shut the fuck up.”

Naomi and Gelato and Sorbet get along swimmingly. They may be a little wacky and unstable, but she loves their company.

Her and Risotto aren’t friends, but there’s a tension between them. Sexual? She can’t quite tell. She hates that he’s the Capo. She thinks Proscuitto is much more worthy than he is. Risotto is always rather kind to her, which is irritating since she doesn’t want to like him, but she’s got a crush. Who wouldn’t?

(I found THIS and it’s as close as it’s gonna get to what she looks like!) This photo is the avatar of a channel on YT called Tulio Berzerker!

[la5t-res0rt]

Okay, but please consider once again; Beetlebabes and Anti Shippers should both be allowed to enjoy Beetlejuice without hate from anyone, we’re all just looking for a good time. You can avoid content you dislike, by either blocking a tag or user entirely. You don’t have to read something or look at it if you dislike it. Nether-Receipts also mostly counts death and rape threats sent directly to users and isn’t intended to send any hate to users. Hell, anti’s are allowed to submit things too!

ok here we go again so i get what youre i saying i understand that that would be super cool if everyone could just get along but the fact of the matter is that there are people in the world who are extremely triggered and hurt by certain content

and yes you can block people and yes you can block tags but if people know it will get a rise they will find a way

i have received accounts of certain parties deliberately breaking rules in discord servers that were clearly stated simply because they do not care about other people’s comfort or they do not care if theyre bothering people which frankly really bothers me

i have said before that i think a lot of people on the internet in general have issues with over identifying with bad traits and making it too integral to their personality and i think thats not great but i see it a lot

you could even argue that these anons that i have received tonight could have been sent through other channels via incognito windows or alternate accounts etc im fact i know for a fact that someone who sent me asks is someone who previously did have me blocked

isnt it sort of funny that im getting all of this all at once almost as if people have probably been talking about my shitty blog and planning out what theyd say to try and stump me but jokes on them i never shut up and have too much to say always i am never at a loss for words

if someone sent you to do this im sorry thats a huge bummer 

one more thing i gotta mention bc it would be cruel to not bring up but the accusations that you mention im not okay with those either im also not okay with making broad generalizations about eating disorders or responding to jokes with fiction with explicit rape the latter of which was deleted im pretty sure i dont know the specifics that was before i got tumblr but someone sent me a screencap

and im going to say this one more time i am pretty sure a lot of those asks are self sent if you examine the language and the content of the asks on the whole antis are pretty pc there are exceptions of course but on the whole there are certain phrases that arent used like slut is one that stands out thats kind of a slur in some circles

all im saying on that is that some of the worst asks that are sent seem to be almost too awful like the opposite of too good to be true i cant confirm that this is the case but it is what i think based on what ive seen from screenshots

also

you mention that antis can submit things too

thats kind of not true actually

i was angry recently because i saw that someone had actually reported someone for anti anti wow i hate how that sounds basically they were reported to the blog for saying some pretty mean things about fans of the musical that could be classified as gatekeeping and general nastiness for sure

the response to that submission was a lecture from the author of the blog and it was then deleted 

so yeah maybe they can submit but its not likely to be taken seriously but that being said if you want to send me stuff i wont repost it but i will get angry about it

anyway you seem like a nice person who only wants the best but to quote apersonal hero of mine magneto peace was never an option there is too much bad blood and too many morally sticky areas some of which are literally illegal in the united states but the internet is hard to monitor 

i hope this counts as considering

i stand by what i said in previous asks have a good night