#if you have known losses. if you grieve for this world. then lend your last 20$ bill to i. miquella

[asklawyer]

miquella the gambler

[whattimeisitintokyo]

Somos Familia: Chapter 34 (Part 2)

Well this chapter ended up being way too long. I had planned more for this chapter, but that ended up being long enough to be its own chapter and I’m tired of feeling that I have to finish the whole thing in order to post it. So here’s the last bit of the chapter. You can find the whole chapter on ff.net, and I’ll try to have it up on AO3 with a illustration soon. Sorry again for the long wait.

Also tomorrow is my birthday. I guess you could say that finishing this chapter on my own terms was my gift to myself. :)

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Chapter 34: No Me Dejas (Part 2)

“Three days have passed since Dia de Muertos, and the country still mourns the abrupt and tragic loss of Ernesto de la Cruz, widely considered as one of the greatest musicians in the modern history of Mexico. Señor de la Cruz had just finished performing a concert that evening when sources say that a giant prop bell had accidentally broken off from the stage rigging above the singer, crushing and killing the singer instantly.

Since then thousands of grieving mourners have flocked to the gates of de la Cruz’s magnificent mansion in Colonia del Valle, holding candle light vigils and singing prayers while also leaving tokens and flowers outside. The mansion has also served as the home to his goddaughter and rising starlet, Coco Rivera. Whilst being known as a favorite topic of gossip this pass year in newspapers and magazines, Señora Rivera has surprisingly been keeping a low profile and out of the public eye since that fateful night. It can only be assumed that she is taking this time to mourn as well for the loss of such an important family member.

In related news her father Héctor Rivera, de la Cruz’s longtime business partner and songwriter, has been in hospital since that night after being taken from the scene by paramedics. There is no word on his condition, but his lawyer has assured that Señor Rivera was not injured in the stage accident but is instead seeking treatment for an undisclosed illness. We here at Excélsior wish him a speedy recovery and our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

Petitions are already being made to have Senor de la Cruz’s body to be lain to rest in his hometown of Santa Cecilia in Oaxaca, despite heavy requests to have him entombed in la Panteón Civil de Dolores alongside other famous people in Rotonda de las Personas Ilustres.

At the time of his death Señor de la Cruz was in the middle of several movie projects that will sadly forever remain unfinished, including a biopic about the Mexican Revolution, and was in talks of a deal to lend his voice for an American animated movie with Dis-“

A low, quivering moan broke Imelda’s concentration on the newspaper and turned it towards her husband currently occupying the hospital bed in front on her. With a sigh she folded it and placed it to her side, reaching out and grasping one of his twitching hands with hers. She winced at the tremors she still felt rattling slightly through his fingers, as well as the awkward way she was forced to hold his hand.

What with his wrist being tightly braced and strapped to the guard rail of the bed.

His other hand was also strapped on the opposite side, and a large padded belt wrapped around his thin chest to keep him firmly in place on the bed. An oxygen mask was placed over his face and several IVs were pumping him full of fluids and medicine. And despite being in a deep state of sleep, his teeth were clenched tight and his brows knitted into an expression of intense distress. A keening whine escaped his throat that gave into a deep, hacking fit of coughs.

Imelda immediately pulled off the mask and brought a clean handkerchief to his mouth as Héctor coughed painfully, only the straps keeping his body from convulsing on the bed. Finally, with one good expulsion he was able to clear his airway for the time being, gasping as Imelda wiped the corners of his mouth and placing the mask back. As he settled back down, he gently started to tremble again, whining pitifully and tears leaking from his dark sunken eyes.

Imelda sighed as she brought a clean corner of the handkerchief to wipe the tears from his face before placing it down to run her fingers through his greasy, unwashed hair to offer some form of comfort. It only seemed to distress him further and with a broken dry sob he wrenched his head away from her touch, lost in his nightmares.

It was truly heartbreaking to see Héctor reduced to such a state, but she was grateful to see him getting at least some form of rest. Especially after the last few days.

“What is this?!” she had screamed at the doctor, watching on in horror as several orderlies fought to restrain her husband’s mad flailing. “This is not pneumonia! What is happening to him?!”

Before the doctor could answer Héctor let out a wail and swung a punch at an unfortunate orderly standing too close by and knocking him off his feet. His arm now free he managed to rip off the IV out and began to frantically scratch at his chest, all the while yelling out profanities and indecipherable words as his eyes tracked at unseen figures and visions. As Imelda was hurried out of the door the last thing she heard was Héctor calling out for Ernesto.

And then for her.

“It’s the DT’s.” the doctor had explained after he was able to calm her down some with Coco and Julio by her side. “Delirium tremens. It’s alcohol withdrawal. If he’s been drinking for as long as you’ve said, Señor Magallanes, then it’s quite dangerous for him to just completely stop. It causes vivid hallucinations, irregular heart rates, sometimes seizures and, if severe enough, death.”

Ignoring the agonized weeping from her daughter and her own chest clenching in grief, Imelda whispered. “What can be done?”

The doctor wrung his hands and looked down in dismay. “Honestly, not much. There are medicines that can be given to treat this, but they would adversely affect his respiratory system. Given his pneumonia I can’t recommend giving it to him. Also, there’s the fact that he’s malnourished, and the shock… All I can do is give him some mild sedatives and monitor his heart and lungs. The rest is up to him, I’m afraid.”

They had returned to his room a few hours later to find him as he was now: strapped down and barely able to move, Dios knows that he was trying though. Despite the small amount of medicine that was given to calm him down, Héctor still saw visions that were terrifying to him and he strained to lash out at them. His screams had died down to pitiful whimpers and moans, and tears streamed down into his hair and ears. Over the next few days he was either in this state or a death-like sleep, and Imelda didn’t know which one was worse.

She felt absolutely foolish about it now, but seeing her husband going insane right in front of her had caused her to lash out at her daughter. Why didn’t she tell her that it was this bad? That he was starving and drinking himself to death, that his cold was actually much worse than it was, and that he was so miserable and broken-hearted that he screamed for her in his nightmares?

Instead of a cowed child being rightfully chastised by her mother for keeping secrets from her, Coco had met her glare dead on and even more. Imelda flinched back in shock at the righteous fury that showed on her daughter’s face, and what she had said next had finally knocked her off the high pedestal that she had set herself up on:

“What do you care, Mamá?”

And Imelda had to admit, she was right. Nothing she had done the past few months had shown that she cared about the man that she had kicked out of her life. She ignored every call, sent back every letter and telegram, even dodged each mention of him when Coco would talk to her on the phone. When she had bid a warm goodbye to Julio and Victoria she told them to give her love and warm wishes to Coco when they arrived. But not to Héctor. She just didn’t care.

But that was wrong. She did care. She cared about him and loved him so much that it hurt. And seeing her husband now, so lost in his sickness and misery, Imelda couldn’t bear the guilt that was crushing her from the inside.

“idiota… This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Imelda whispered as she locked Héctor’s cold fingers around hers once more. “You weren’t supposed to do this. Héctor…”

But he continued to sleep fitfully, his breathing hitching and occasionally giving in to more cough fits, and she continued to stay by his side. It was all she could do, now that it was too late.

-----------------------------------------

It was quiet now.

The walls had stopped melting into putrid puddles of gore and maggots, the bugs had stopped buzzing in his head and stinging his flesh, and the monsters had stopped attacking him.

The monsters were the most terrifying though. They held onto his arms and legs so tightly that he thought he would end up breaking his bones in his efforts to get away from them. They had looked human too, but humans didn’t have glowing white eyes and rotting flesh. They’re voices were low and distorted, filling him with dread despite what the words they said that were supposed to sound soothing.

Señor Rivera, calm down. You’re safe!

We have to give him something!

We can’t risk his lungs giving out! Just strap him down!

Dios, turn him over! There’s too much fluid, suck his lungs out!

It took forever for them to finally let him be, after many terrifying episodes of not being able to breathe and more fits of screaming in terror of the horrible visions in front of him, but he was finally able to break free and make a run for it. Well, run wasn’t the best word for how he was able to finally move. Floating wasn’t either. The world seemed to dissolve into a myriad of distracting colors and sounds, and he simply let his mind flow with it in a dream-like state.

And then suddenly he found himself finally there.

Back in front of the bell.

With a cry of triumph, he made his way over to it and braced himself against it in a sort of clumsy hug. “Don’t worry Ernesto! I’ll get you out! You’ll be alright!”

And so he had pushed. And pulled. Digging his feet into the earth and straining as hard as he could against the cold hard bell. He shouted encouraging words towards his friend, not letting the lack of a response deter him in any way. It seemed like he did it for hours, for days even, his throat hoarse as he cried out for help from someone, anyone! He’d even accept the monsters help if he could find them. In a last ditch effort he had even called out for his wife, pleading with her to help him even if she wanted nothing to do with him afterwards.

But she didn’t come. He could swear he heard her voice whispering to him, but he couldn’t make it out no matter how hard he tried to listen. With a broken heart he could only conclude that she was telling him to leave her alone. She had no use for such a lousy husband and a terrible father to her children. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He couldn’t even help his brother escape from his prison.

He was worthless.

And so, for the longest time, there was nobody except him and that bell. When he couldn’t push against it anymore, when his voice finally gave out and his spirit broke, he sat in front of it and softly cried. He murmured apologies to Ernesto, to Imelda, to his children, to anyone he had wronged in his existence. There was no use. There was nothing left for him. Except that bell.

“What are you doing?”

With a gasp Héctor looked up at the new presence before him. At first he feared it was one of those terrible monsters come back to take him away again, but it’s voice was not bone-chilling and grating. Rather it was sweet and clear, the clearest Héctor had heard in a while, but the figure itself was… light. A vaguely human shape ball of light that burned so bright yet oddly didn’t hurt to look at. If he squinted a little Héctor could guess that its head was slightly tilted in a sort of curious quirk. It was sort of cute, if a ball of light could be considered cute, and Héctor found himself slowly start to relax.

“I-…” he sniffled pitifully and turned watery eyes towards the bell. “I can’t move it… Ernesto’s under there and… I have to save him.”

“Really?” the light said and floated over the bell. Héctor saw a hand reach out and knock against the bell, and it rang out loudly enough for Héctor cringe back with a wince. He didn’t like that sound. Not at all. “I don’t know. Sounds empty to me.”

Héctor gaped at the bell, his heart sinking, and frantically shook his head. “N-no!... He’s under there! I saw it drop on him!”

The ball of light chuckled in tinkling sort of way, and Héctor glared at it. “Well, si, you did. I saw it too. But that was a while ago. He’s not under that bell anymore either. This bell,” it said and knocked on the bell again, the loud clanging causing Héctor to grip his head in pain. “… is hollow. Empty. And is just here to waste your time.”

Tearing his hands from his head, Héctor stared wide eyed at the ball of light. “Waste my time?... What do you mean?”

“I mean you need to wake up and face reality, tonto!”

Suddenly the ball of light zipped towards him and enveloped him in a soothing warm glow, almost as if it was hugging him, and Héctor found himself being lifted towards his feet. Once he was firmly standing up the light took him by the hand and started to lead him away from the bell. He resisted a little with a slight whine, his gaze fixed back on the bell, until a sharp tug jerked him away and pulled him forward. With a huff he glared at the light leading him away, gritting his teeth when he thought he could make out a sly smirk flitting across the vague features.

He continued to look back though, watching as the bell slowly faded from view into a white void. Then he noticed that the walls started melting again. His breath hitched a little in fear, terrified that the horrible visions from before were coming back to haunt him. The light gripped his hand tighter, but in a soothing manner, and Héctor managed to find comfort in the light for the first time since he met it. It was then he noticed that the walls weren’t exactly melting, but rather… falling into place.

Windows stacked next to each other, light fixtures dotted the ceiling in a straight line, and floor tiles tumbled into place just as his feet managed to touch them. It was then he noticed the pattern of the tiles, the color of them, and the shape of the windows and other fixtures. He had been here before. It had been a long time ago, but he had been here long enough to recognize the way the hallway was set up, and what doors led to what. It was engrained into his memory.

“I don’t like this place.” Héctor whispered.

“No, I don’t either,” the light said softly. “But it’s where you need to be right now.”

They continued on at a comfortable pace down the hallway, and slowly people started to materialize in Héctor’s vision. Men and women in sterile white clothing walking past them without even noticing them. Two of them were wheeling a bed down at such a speed that Héctor barely had time to react before they barreled right through them and raced down the opposite direction. The light giggled at that, and Héctor couldn’t help but give a shaky smile himself.

But suddenly a thought came to mind that chilled him to the bone, and he looked down at the light apprehensively. “Am… Am I a ghost?”

“Hmmm… No, I wouldn’t say that. But I wouldn’t worry about that. It’ll all be over soon.”

That was when the light finally led him into one of the rooms and let go of his hand. Looking up Héctor stopped dead in his tracks at what he saw: It was him. Lying in a bed, his hands strapped tightly onto the railings and his chest rising slowly with breath. And sitting beside him… was…

“No.”

The light paused on its way to bed to turn back and look at him. “No?”

“No I-I… I can’t.” Héctor whispered, his eyes never leaving his beautiful wife’s face. “Why is she there? She… She doesn’t love me. I can’t take it anymore… It h-hurts too much.”

“I’m pretty sure she loves you. Why else would she be sitting with you? Look at her. She looks so sad.”

Héctor shook his head miserably. “She’s just waiting for me to wake up… to tell me it’s finally over. That she’s moved on… I can’t face her… I’m too tired.” He dropped to his knees and stared at the floor, all the peace he was starting to feel again being crushed by despair. “Maybe it’s for the best… That I don’t wake up at all… Ernesto’s gone. Imelda hates me… I have nothing left.”

His head hung low and tears clouding his vision, he almost didn’t see the light step towards him until he felt its warm glow cup his face gently. With a sniffle he raised his eyes its face, or what he could guess was its face, and let it wipe the tears from his cheeks. Then he watched as it raised its hand slightly above his line of sight, and then…

*THUMP*

“OW!”

Héctor reared back onto his rump and flashed a hand up to his stinging forehead, rubbing it and staring at the figure before him in shock. “Did… Did you just flick my forehead?!”

“Si.”

“Why?!

“For being an idiot.”

With a snarl he managed to get back onto his knees. “I don’t need to take that from- GGGNAK!” His head was yanked forward as the light grabbed his nose, twisted, and pulled down hard. Then with its other hand it pulled his ear as hard as it could and started to shake his head back and forth. “GAH! What are you doing?!” he screamed nasally. “Stop!”

“What do you mean don’t wake up at all?!” The lighted shouted at him, continuing its assault as Héctor’s eyes watered with pain instead of sorrow. “Where is that coming from?! ‘Riveras never give up.’ Isn’t that what you’ve always said?”

Trying to pry the figure’s hands from his face, he glared up at it. “I’m not a real Rivera… I just married one- ARGH!”

“You’ve been a Rivera a whole lot longer than you haven’t been, old man!” the light yelled back. “And you haven’t lost everything! What about your children? Coco, and your granddaughter! What about Miguel. Are you really going to leave a little boy to grow up without his father? And who’s going to greet Matty when he comes back from the war?!”

“As for your wife, she right there waiting for you to wake up! She can’t run and hide in Santa Cecilia anymore! If you have something to say to her, then you make her listen to you! Think about it, you’re sick in a hospital bed. At the very least you have pity on your side, right? But don’t give up on her so easily, cabrón!”

“All right, all right! Ow! Just let go of me already!”

With one last shove the light let go of Héctor’s head and he cradled his face in his hands, getting his breathing back under control and trying to rub away the burns and stings. He flinched as the warm hand landed back on his shoulder, but when no further violence came his way he dared to look back up.

“I know this has been hard on you.” The light said gently. “And I know that you’re scared. But even if things don’t work out for you and your wife, you shouldn’t feel the need to give up. You still have a lot to live for.”

Héctor stared at it for a few long moments, before turning back towards the bed. Towards Imelda. It was right, she did look sad. And tired. If he woke up now, maybe he could talk to her. Maybe she’d talk to him. Despite his brain trying to convince him over and over that he was done, it was his time, and there was no need to linger on, his heart wouldn’t let him. It was leading him back to her. To his family.

Just like it always had.

Damn poet.

With a heavy sigh me slowly stood up and made it to his feet, his gaze now fixed on his unconscious form on the bed. With a new determination he made his way over and paused at the edge. Do I just… lay on myself? With a short snort of laughter he did just that, and was surprised to see his leg phase through himself as he climbed onto the bed. Rolling over he laid down onto his back, stared up at the ceiling, and waited.

…..

And waited…

…..

“Uh, nothing’s happening?”

The light shrugged. “You have been sleeping for a long time, and you’re sick. It might take a while for you to actually wake up.”

Before Héctor could reply to that, he started to feel changes slowly flowing into his body. Ah, this must be it. He started to feel heavier, more solid. That itself was a comforting feeling. He settled back down onto the bed and let the sensations build up through his limbs. He stayed still like that for a few minutes, with his eyes closed, before a tinkling little laugh next to him caused him to open them.

“This is taking forever!” The light giggled. It was such a sweet sound. So pure. Where had he heard it before? “Though not surprising. Even when you were healthy it took forever to wake you up, even when I jumped on your chest in the morning and tried to pry your eyes open.”

Héctor brows furrowed in confusion. He tried to lift his head off the pillow to look at the light properly… but found that he couldn’t. Slowly the solid feeling of his body turned into a heavy burden. He was so heavy! Too heavy! I can’t move!

“W-what?... What’s hap-”

The heaviness started to form inside his chest. His breathing turned into frantic gasps as he struggled to get air into his lungs. And now his body started to hurt! His arms and legs cramped and his head started to pound. Behind his gasping he heard his heart beating loudly in his ears. This is bad! This is bad! What’s happening to me?!

Then suddenly the light was leaning over his face, and Héctor stared at it with fright. Was this it’s plan all along? To trap him in this pain filled husk and laugh at him for his foolishness? He never should have trusted it! It started to lower itself to him, and with a small whimper he clenched his eyes shut and braced himself against... What? Oblivion? Mutilation? The destruction of his very soul? Whatever it was it couldn’t be good! It couldn’t-

“And don’t worry about Tio Nesto. He’ll be all right. I won’t let him be alone.”

….

Tio Nesto?

Héctor’s eyes snapped open and he saw the light was hovering over his face. He saw that smile again grace it’s face before it leaned over and… gave him a small kiss on the forehead. It was quick and chaste, but it was so warm and sweet, and it slightly soothed the aches that were afflicting his body. It drew back again and stared at him with such love in it’s eyes, and Héctor realized with a start of the fact that he could see it’s eyes.

They were his eyes!

Her eyes.

“You feel better Papá.”

With a choked out sob, reached out towards the light- my daughter!- but found that he couldn’t. He glanced down at his hands and saw that they were strapped to the railings of his bed, and no matter how hard he shook or strained against them he could not tear them free. Sitting up was also not an option, as the thick belt across his chest prevented him from lifting even an inch.

He turned his attention back towards his little girl, but she was gone. She had left him. Again.

“Leti!” Héctor cried out, tears streaming down his face as he tried to strain against the bindings once more. “Leti, don’t go! Leti come back, please come back! Don’t leave me, mija. Please don’t leave me again! Please, please, please…”

“Calm down Héctor.” A tired voice broke through his weak sobbing, and he glanced up through watery tears as his wife ran a hand through his hair in a calming motion. She began to speak to him, numbly, as if she had been repeating the same things over and over. “It’s not real. You’re alright. None of this is really happening. She’s not here. It’s okay, Héctor.”

Héctor concentrated on his wife’s face, forcing himself to calm his seizing chest and his pounding heart. He listened to her soothing words and slowly the hysteria faded away, leaving him exhausted and light-headed. And as the minutes passed and he became more and more aware of his immediate surroundings, the visions from before slowly faded as well. What had he been dreaming about? There was a light, he remembered. And a voice. It was so familiar. But even those vague recollections of his dream faded into nothingness as well, as for the first time in over three days Héctor was finally awake and aware.

“Imelda?” Héctor whispered. “What happened?”

“…Héctor?”

[diveronaevents]

DATE: October 29th

TIME: 11:37 AM

LOCATION: Hotel Emelia, back offices

“You cannot be serious?”

“Have we ever been known to joke, Cosimo?” Hecate pulls at the cuff of their collared shirt, straightening out the sleeve as they cross one leg over the other, mimosa clutched between manicured fingertips. A sip is taken, long and drawn out, a play for power before two individuals who bow to no one, man or god.

“What do you hope to accomplish by bringing this back? It’ll be anarchy. The streets filled with debauchery and carnage. Please, Circe, you must do something,” pleads Damiano, looking to all three of their faces before turning away in a huff.

“I am,” another voice rings out, softer but no less firm. “I support this decision. It’s what is needed. Your people have suffered enough, have they not?” They step out from behind the desk, stride closer to the Montague who dares to question the law laid out before him—as if that was ever an option. “And with no culprit to place the crimes upon, do we not owe them something? A way to grieve, to heal.”

“Not like this!” Damiano shouts back, spittle flying from his mouth in the heat of the moment, anger licking up the sides of his throat as he tows the line between respectful subordination and vicious treachery. “More loss, that’s all this will bring.” He rubs at his jaw, all the ways this could go wrong playing through his mind on a loop until he’s forced to voice his concerns once more. “You give them too much rope, and they’ll hang themselves.”

“I’m counting on it,” quips Cosimo, something dark alight within his gaze as he sparks the end of his cigar to life, taking a few puffs before continuing on. “My people know better.”

“We’ll see.” A third voice emerges from behind a chair, pointed toward the roaring fireplace, facing away from the rest of the room.

“We will,” Circe replies, the line their lips set in curling up ever-so-slightly, bemused at Medea’s confidence. “When the sun rises, we will see who is left.”

Citizens of Verona,

You are cordially invited to La Purga.

For the next twenty-four hours, starting at 11PM on October 30th and lasting until 11PM on October 31st, all crime will be legal. No punishment will follow, no arrests or retribution. Decide what is important to you, what matters when consequence does not. Whether you wish to release the beasts you carry within and extract every bit of carnage afforded on this night is entirely up to you, but choose wisely. Think carefully.

Tread lightly, loudly, or not at all. The choice is yours.

Following the commencement of the newly reinstated Festival di Caos, there will be an effigy of vice lit and sent out to sail atop the Adige as a memorial of all sins shed. It will be ignited promptly when the clock strikes twelve, burned, and turned to ash, as will the violence bred on this night. We will greet the dawn as peace is returned—to stay.

Purge yourselves, Verona, for you may not get the chance again.

– The Witches

DATE: October 30th

TIME: 10:57 PM

LOCATION: Hotel Emelia, front steps

“Welcome,” they say in unison, Circe clasping their hands together as Medea and Hecate descend the steps first, dresses of gold and silver trailing behind them in a shimmer of fabric against stone in the moonlight above. “You all know why you’re here tonight.”

They’re calm, collected as they button their bronze dinner jacket and follow after, speaking solely now to the crowd of Veronans filling the street before the Hotel. They straggle out at the edges, some pulling shorter citizens up onto nearby statue platforms or lifting them onto broad shoulders for a better glance; but a hush falls upon them once the witches begin to address them.

“They do,” Medea hums, folding their hands as they come to rest at the base of the steps, delight pricking along their arms at the anticipation of what’s to come.

“Twenty-four hours,” Hecate reminds them, eyes narrowing among the faces, stopping ever so briefly among those they know to be true beasts of burden, the vile and utterly wretched, hidden among those angels who only ever dream of dipping their toes into the forbidden. Tonight’s their night, they think silently, casting a look over their shoulder toward Circe as they emerge into view beside them. Will they survive?

A glint of silver catches the eyes of all, pulled from the waistband of a witch, the barrel of a gun now caressed tenderly by knowing fingertips. Medea can’t help but smile as people start to reach up toward their ears, a hundred fingers jammed inside to cover the heinous sound about to erupt from Circe’s pull of the trigger. They know it to only be the sound of hope, though. The sweet symphony of the storm reaching its greatest height, dawn budding on the line of the horizon, a gleam of light through the darkness.

Hecate reaches out for the hands of their siblings as Circe raises an arm in the air.

Three heartbeats—

BANG.

“Good luck,” they say in unison again.

You’re going to need it.

FESTIVITIES:

The Dark Lady — Courtesy of the Capulets and the generous Madame of the Dark Lady, MONA CHEN has opened the doors of the Devil’s humble abode to offer up the normally quite expensive time and services of her ever seductive Sparrows free of charge. One time only. But be wary, as usual, for her little birds are the best at collecting secrets in this city and what better way to extract the only currency worth anything in Verona than when all guards are down and debauchery lines the streets. Spot them donned in celebratory red, some wearing black feathers, some hiding their faces behind masks to play coy, some choosing to shed every piece of clothing and bear themselves to the world. Seek them out at your own risk or avoid them to play it safe—but they are here, they are roaming, and they are indulging just as much as you.

Costa Automotive — Likening himself to a prophet of chaos, DOMINIC COSTA swings open the garage doors of his dealership with a toothy, pearly white grin, no doubt those canines of his sharp enough to tear out the throat of those who’d cross him, but he seems in a rather good mood today. As fast as he is furious, he lends his top vehicles out to the streets for some good old fashion racing, taking bets at a makeshift counter inside a tent in the parking lot. Keys are offered as soon as the money is handed over and winners are paid out at the finish line. Ever the salesman though, he extends the very generous offer of ten thousand euros off the asking price to those who wish to purchase the pristine Jaguar or immaculate Lamborghini just driven to victory. It could be the liquor talking or the way his eyes never leave HAZEL DYMON’s as she leans over the hood of a car, fixing it after some idiot had tried to sabotage a race by cutting a transmission line. Thank her for the distraction; you just saved a grand on that bet when he wasn’t paying attention.

To Tame A Soup — Upon Damiano’s begrudging insistence, ROMAN MONTAGUE has ordered the doors of his philanthropic sanctuary be opened, food be made in troves, and beverages made bottomless. Tables line the street in front of it, set up with candles and the finest of place settings, roped off so as to give the non-paying patrons some relief from the hustle and bustle of the festival for a meal, or drinks, or both. Daily volunteers have been called upon to serve as waiters and waitresses, bartenders and chefs, paid greatly at the expense of the Montagues. A small price to pay to feed the hungry sinners, Damiano had said to his son, his own reluctance suffocating the words, but Roman doesn’t push further, assigns PIETRO BERNARDI with the task of running the safe haven for the 24 hours required by the witches. The cost is small, the favor not one too grand for the Montagues nor the people Roman has put in place  to deny, but how much longer are they to pay for the sins of their enemy? Father and son ask themselves this as they sit in silence.

Bianchi Shooting Gallery — A favorite place to many a mob member, GABRIELE BIANCHI has graciously swung open his doors, unlocked his glass cases containing all his most precious weapons and offered them up for free, if you can believe it. To be rented as long as a name is provided, they are yours for the next 24 hours as well as fifty bullets on the house. True courtesy of TAMURA CHIKO, Cosimo’s latest weapon specialist turned one-time enforcer, just for this occasion. That’s for you, he’d said, handing over nearly ten thousand euros. Don’t give it to him, make him. They obliged because the money was good and the guns looked fun. Loyalty can no longer be bought from the soldier who’s been wrung dry of it, but a stack like that would fetch a whole lotta bullets, wouldn’t it? So a barrel to his temple, they put. Threats they delivered and fear they sowed. The guns are yours now, use them well.

Measure by Measure — It’s a call he’s made a hundred times and ORPHEUS AHULANI is always more than happy to oblige, more than willing to bring his band of brothers from the depths of Verona’s underbelly and into its streets. Tear them apart, Cosimo often says. Show them what we’re made of. And he does so with such vigor, follows orders with such perfect precision, a natural, god-given proficiency for executing violence with the swing of his fists. And the same goes for his men. The people who are drawn to his little pocket of chaos beneath the Earth. But today—tonight—they take to the streets. They throw punches at anyone who looks good, toss an elbow into the ribs of those who don’t. Their leader takes the bests, a wad of cash in his greedy palm as he walks behind the brawl that’s just been sanctioned on Via del Minatore. Winner takes all, minus his cut of course. JACQUELINE LÉMIEUX, his right hand brute, is always more than happy to show you how he settles disputes if you dare to try and deny him what he’s earned by giving you the right to indulge your demons.

OVERVIEW:  Welcome to The Purge, folks! Brought to you by three very stoically optimistic witches and two begrudging mob bosses. It is a deal made behind closed doors, fostered forth because one side has suffered and the other has not, though should they? Evidence remains elusive still but the pain festers, the retribution curdling like old milk within the bellies of those who ache to see revenge flourish by their hand. This event is for them, for all of you, for those who wish to swim in a lake of fire without getting burned, for the ones who wish to turn their back on God but for a moment—we promise he won’t see. Please keep all interactions within the 24 hours of 11PM on October 30th and 11PM on October 31st! There are many dark corners for your character to find sanctuary in if you don’t think they would participate in the shenanigans, but remember this is their only chance! Tonight is the night to do what they would never do otherwise, all monstrous acts forgotten and forgiven once that effigy is lit at midnight.

We have a few new faces coming into view as well, some who will be introduced sooner rather than later perhaps, but most will remain elusive for a bit, choosing to stay on the outskirts of this mob—for now. Mona Chen is also known as Queen Mab. Tamura Chiko is also known as Julius Caesar. Dominic Costa is also known as Leontes. Hazel Dymon is also known as Hermione. Feel free to use them as NPCs in any of your threads for this event, within reason of course. They are not to be harmed by our hellions—yet. Other notable NPCs are: Pietro Bernardi, Jacqueline Lémieux, and Gabriele Bianchi. Use them how you see fit as well, but again no hurting them!

TASK: There is no true set task for this event, just to have fun and enjoy, but we’d love to see any inspiration, self paras you come up with, threads you start, etc! Maybe you have a specific outfit in mind for your character or want to share ideas for what you think the city would look like all done up for this party of chaos. But remember to tag threads for this event as #diveronapurge and/or #diveronaevent.  

[loveofgodblog]

You will seek Me and find me when you search for me with all your heart

This article was republished from WhiteRaimentEvangelism.blogspot.com.

By John Foll, Finished 6/9/2018, 6/10/2018. © Copyright 2018 John Foll “‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. ‘Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. ‘You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.’” Jeremiah 29:11-13 NASB. No matter where you have been, or what you have done, or how much of a failure you have made of your life, don’t lose hope. God has a better plan for your life. He wants to give you a future and hope for a better life. Being able to be good and having eternal life are not beyond your reach, if you will grasp the Lord’s hands and allow Him to save you. If this is what you want, seek after God with all your heart, no holding back. Is that what you want? What do you have to gain by holding back yourself from this wonderful hope and peace that God wants to give you? Do you feel like God doesn’t hear your prayers? Are you unsure of what your future holds, or whether you can be saved? Are you sure if you have what it takes to succeed and be the victor at last? Do you wonder if you are good enough, strong enough, smart enough, or wise enough, talented enough, and industrious enough to be able to provide for yourself and your family’s needs? Are you worried you will fail? Do you want to have the assurance of your own salvation? God declares here through His prophet Jeremiah that if you will search for Him with all your heart you will find Him. Much peace, hope, love and joy await you if you will just search for Him with all your heart. Then you will find Him. Are you tired of what your human nature and this world have to offer? Are you tired of its empty promises and lies? Are you tired of trying so hard and failing? Then it is time to try it God’s way, and search for Him with all your heart. When it is in your heart to do so, pray to Him and He will hear your prayer and answer it to the fullest! Oh so full! If you are not there yet, then come to Him as you are, sins, failures and all, and beg Him to help you. Don’t wait until you are ready all the way, or you never will be. But if you have been following Him and are ready to take your next step with Him, why not search for Him and seek to find Him with all your heart? What do you have to lose? If you are new to all of this, or a new Christian, or are not a Christian yet, why go through all the perplexity and trials of following God half-way and failing, when you can throw yourself on His side all the way and find Him and get all the power you need to succeed and to have a new life with Him? You will never regret it, we promise you. Cling to God, He is your only hope, Oh sinner! He is your path, your light and your life. Deuteronomy 10:20; 13:4 NASB. “But from there you will seek the LORD your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29 NASB. “Now therefore hearken unto me, O ye children: for blessed are they that keep my ways. Hear instruction, and be wise, and refuse it not. Blessed is the man that heareth me, watching daily at my gates, waiting at the posts of my doors. For whoso findeth me findeth life, and shall obtain favour of the Lord.” Proverbs 8:32-35 KJV. What is Solomon talking about here? He is talking about wisdom. To be wise one must be willing to receive instruction. Wisdom is receiving instruction - learning what you need to know to get life and have it more abundantly, and then do it. Seek after it daily from God’s Holy word, the Bible, and through much prayer with Him. This is where you will obtain instruction from Him. This is how you will find life and obtain favor from the Lord, by receiving His instruction for your life. Note the counsel that king David gave his son Solomon: “As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a whole heart and a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts, and understands every intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will let you find Him; but if you forsake Him, He will reject you forever.” 1 Chronicles 28:9 NASB. There is no hiding from God. There is no hiding your words, your actions or your thoughts from Him, He knows them all. Now put it all together: If you wish to have life and not die, receive the instruction that you need to seek after God with your whole heart and a willing mind. If you will seek Him, He will let you find Him. Is that what you want, dear reader? Then seek after God with all your heart, and He will be found by you, and your whole life will change for the better. As God told Abraham, ‘I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward’ Genesis 15:1 KJV, He also tells you, if you will seek after Him, He will be your shield and exceedingly great reward. Abraham was called the friend of God. James 2:23. Many people cannot understand those who want to live a life of love and devotion to God, to give up the sins and pleasures of this world, and it’s wealth and ‘baubles’, with a willingness to give themselves to God all-the-way and serve Him, living an unselfish life to serve Him and others – it seems like there is nothing in it for them. Why would they want to do it? But they have vastly underestimated the great reward in finding and knowing the Lord, a great reward indeed! God and His precious Son Jesus are both great rewards to those who love and serve Them. This great joy can only be known by those who seek after God with their whole heart. Those who only seek Him half way are shortchanging themselves, and will never know this sweetest, full joy. And those who do not seek after Him, and those who do not find Him will know an eternal loss. God tells the saved that He is their great and exceeding reward. In contrast to this Paul tells us that the real loss of the lost - is to be forever shut out from the presence of the Lamb: “*** when the Lord Jesus will be revealed from heaven with His mighty angels in flaming fire, dealing out retribution to those who do not know God and to those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. These will pay the penalty of eternal destruction, away from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of His power, when He comes to be glorified in His saints on that day, and to be marveled at among all who have believed — for our testimony to you was believed.” 2 Thessalonians 1:6-10 NASB. Jesus and His Father are the source of life and of every blessing that you would ever need. They are your eternal security blanket, if you will just put your trust in Them. But those who will not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus, who do not accept His salvation, will be cast out from His presence, paying the penalty with eternal destruction, away from His loving presence that alone can bring peace, everlasting life, blessings, love and joy. “Behold, the LORD’S hand is not so short that it cannot save; nor is His ear so dull that it cannot hear. But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, and your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.” Isaiah 59:12 NASB. This is one of the chief reasons why God does not answer everyone’s prayers, and why He doesn’t hear them. There is no room for halfway measures, half-hearted love and devotion to God. Your sins have separated you from God until you confess, repent and humble yourself before Him. He will save you regardless of how bad you are or what you have done, if you will just throw yourself on His mercy, and seek after Him with all your heart. Half-hearted seeking is for all who would fail. If you have only sought after God half-way or have not been consistent in seeking Him every day with all your heart, you can still seek after Him with all your heart and find Him, there is still time! But wait not another day or for a convenient season. Do not be like Felix who said to Paul, ‘when it is a convenient season I will call for you – a season which never came for him. Acts 24:25 KJV. Now is the day of salvation, while you hear God’s voice, His call to your heart. “For He says, “AT THE ACCEPTABLE TIME I LISTENED TO YOU, AND ON THE DAY OF SALVATION I HELPED YOU.” Behold, now is “THE ACCEPTABLE TIME,” behold, now is “THE DAY OF SALVATION” 2 Corinthians 6:2 NASB. Harden not your heart against Him, He loves you! Listen to His counsel to you here: “Wherefore (as the Holy Ghost saith, to day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation, in the day of temptation in the wilderness: When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my works forty years. Wherefore I was grieved with that generation, and said, They do alway err in their heart; and they have not known my ways. So I sware in my wrath, they shall not enter into my rest.) Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God.” Hebrews 3:7-12 KJV. Do not harden your heart against God, or have a heart of unbelief, not believing that He will save you or not wanting His salvation. Do not have a heart of unbelief, which is departing from the living God.

Consider Jesus’ message here:

“Then He said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and he who seeks, finds; and to him who knocks, it will be opened. Now suppose one of you fathers is asked by his son for a fish; he will not give him a snake instead of a fish, will he? Or if he is asked for an egg, he will not give him a scorpion, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” Luke 11:5-13 NASB.

Consider the message that Jesus is trying to teach here: If you will be persistent with God, making your petitions known to Him for a new, better life with Him – wanting a change from the failure and the wreck that your life has been, He will hear your prayer. If you cling to God and persist in making your petitions known to Him for your desire to be saved and to be a better person, He will hear your prayer. God is not like your earthly parents, who sometimes made mistakes or sometimes forgot your needs or sometimes only thought of themselves, but God really cares. If your parents gave you good things in this life, how much more will your Heavenly Father give you the Holy Spirit when you ask Him? But you must ask Him, you must seek after Him, you must knock, and the door will be opened to you – the door to eternal life! You must be persistent and cling to God, not giving up, praying to Him and making all of your requests known to Him, of your desire to have a new life with Him, and for the spiritual blessings that He wants to give you, until you get these desired blessings. After God’s gift of His dear son Jesus for the world, His other most precious gift to those who belong to Him, is the gift of His precious Holy Spirit. He will give the Holy Spirit to all who ask, to all who seek after Him with all their heart. This is one of the gifts that all are required to have to enter Heaven and have eternal life. John 3:3, 5. All who wish to enter the Pearly Gates of Heaven will have to be born again of both the water (have the forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ, symbolized by baptism in the water) and by the Holy Spirit. These gifts from God allow you to become born again, Oh sinner, that Ye might be saved and be able to enter the kingdom of Heaven, like Jesus said in John 3:3, 5. The Holy Spirit is a most precious gift and reward for those who seek after God with all their heart, no holding back. (Why would anyone want to hold anything back, not getting this sweetest of rewards? This is a great mystery.) Dear reader, why would you want to hold anything back and not get this sweetest reward for yourself?

The Conclusion of the Matter:

Everyone who seeks after God with all their heart will receive the joy of their salvation, and have great peace, love and joy! Everyone who seeks after God, and knocks, the door will be opened to them, the door to eternal life! Especially when they persist in clinging to God, and keep humbling their heart before Him every day, every hour, and learning to commune with Him in prayer. Everyone who asks, and really wants it, can receive the best gift from God after forgiveness, the Holy Spirit. They will receive the Holy Spirit, the pledge of their redemption (Ephesians 4:30 NASB), and have the assurance of their salvation, because God will tell them He loves them, and His precious Spirit will dwell in their heart and help them on their way to Heaven. They will have the continued assurance of their salvation, if they continue to seek after Him with all their heart, every day. But the presence of the Holy Spirit gives them the strongest inducement to want to keep all this peace, love, joy and hope that He brings them. When they have all this peace, love and joy and really value it, why would they want to give it up? We do not know why anyone would give up God’s offer of mercy, forgiveness, peace, love, hope – much less the wonder and joy of having the Holy Spirit in their heart, and know that their life is pleasing to God, because they are letting Him save them, and He is giving them the power to live a righteous life. What more could you want? This is everything your heart has been searching for! Just give yourself to God now, and forevermore and enjoy your new life with Him! The secret to having a better life, with peace and hope for tomorrow, is to seek after God with all your heart, and then you will find Him! You will be so glad you did! We promise you, that if this is what you are searching for, you will be so glad you did, and God’s love for you will be a well of water inside of you springing up into eternal life! John 4:13-143. God will be delighted to give this to you! May the grace of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all. Amen.

Songs For Today’s Message:

If you seek Me, You will Find Me: (Truth Songs) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zfb4HK6mKvk If you seek Me, You will Find Me: (Hawaii Baptist Academy choirs) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7jl61jkIDg

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[lawrencedienerthings]

Coronavirus temporarily closed the book on Colorado’s public libraries. But they found new ways to fulfill their mission.

more news https://northdenvernews.com

The pandemic shutdown had not been kind to 72-year-old Dolores Blackburn. She grieved the loss of the dog who’d shared her Thornton apartment and been her closest companion. Her brother contracted COVID-19 in California, and while he eventually overcame the disease, she felt powerless to help. 

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On top of it all, her computer malfunctioned and, stuck at home, she had no access to the internet — making it impossible to keep up with her final assignments for the four-year, college-level course in Biblical studies that was about to conclude.

When the phone rang one day last month, she had no idea that on the other end of the line would be a sympathetic ear, a reassuring voice and a willing helper to solve her technical problems and put her back on track to earn her academic certificate.

It was the library calling.

“Being single and being alone and isolated and a senior and all that stuff that goes with it was extremely trying for me,” Blackburn says, recalling the phone conversation with a volunteer from Anythink Libraries in Adams County. “It was wonderful that someone out of the blue called to ask how I was doing. 

“I thought, ‘Why me?’”

The answer was that Anythink, like libraries all over Colorado, had brainstormed to reimagine its role in the quarantined world. And it came up with a plan to phone its 65-and-over patrons — about 8,000 of them — to update them on library services and generally see how they were getting along.

Anythink Libraries employee Marianella Ayala puts on her headset to make outreach calls with library patrons at the Anythink Wright Farms library branch in Thornton on June 5, 2020. She and other staff and volunteers have made thousands of calls to senior library customers since late April to keep them informed about updates to library services due to COVID-19 — and sometimes just to chat. (Andy Colwell, Special to The Colorado Sun)

As libraries explored how they could still serve their communities with book lending on hold and their physical spaces locked down, they not only moved online but also embraced innovation. Some of those ideas, like Anythink’s phone calls, likely will end when buildings reopen and customers once again can engage face to face with their librarians.

But just as many small businesses discovered, some temporary fixes are worth keeping.

Restaurants rediscovered takeout. Retail more fully embraced online shopping. And public libraries — which similarly felt the disruption of their mission from the pandemic —  also have seized on what initially were workarounds to the coronavirus and plan to incorporate them into their regular operations. 

Most are just emerging from the shutdown with socially distanced borrowing and returns but anticipate keeping popular features, from “Quarantine Quiz Shows” to printing documents for people lacking the equipment at home, once they’ve fully reopened.

“We want people to have a wonderful library experience — the ambiance, the hospitality,” says Pam Smith, executive director of Anythink, which operates seven branch libraries in Adams County. “When you take that element out, it becomes transactional. It’s not just about the books.” 

While libraries remain mostly closed to the public, staff members still work on restoring some sense of normalcy by attending to the bread and butter — basic lending and return of materials. The coronavirus shutdown brought exchanges to a halt, and restoring those has been a balance of customer convenience and attention to health concerns.

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Libraries have borrowed the strategy of restaurants with variations on curbside or parking lot pickup that enable social distancing while books are delivered to yawning trunks or hatchbacks by masked runners. They’ve embraced rules for returns that revolve around a 72-hour quarantine of materials considered more than sufficient to ensure that any traces of the coronavirus are neutralized before anything goes back into circulation. 

“The information is all over the board on this,” says Oli Sanidas, executive director of Arapahoe Libraries. “We try to take the most conservative approach possible.”

Arapahoe reopened its book drop May 26 and began what it calls “park and pickup” service last week (June 1). Now, patrons can pick up materials they’d placed on hold before the shutdown — and there were hundreds of them. 

This week, they can place new holds on materials. When patrons get a notification that their book is available, they click on another link to make an appointment, then park in a designated spot at whichever branch they’ve chosen. 

A staff member places their bundled items in the trunk of their vehicle. Patrons also can walk up or bike to the library to receive their books.

Other area library districts offer variations on that theme.

Parker Library patron Emily Vangeti smiles at Stacey Walter, the department head of adult services, as she places books Vangeti had put on hold in the back of her vehicle last week. The library began parking lot pickup for books a few weeks ago. “We miss going in and picking our books out,” Vangeti says, “but this makes sense.”

Last week at Douglas County’s Parker branch, Emily Vangeti pulled her vehicle into a parking spot in the lot behind the building, phoned the staff and gave them her hold information and waited for a staff member to arrive with her bundle. 

Stacey Walter, the department head of adult services, rolled a cart onto the baked blacktop and delivered the goods.

“We miss going in and picking our books out,” Vangeti says, “but this makes sense.”

Read more Colorado Sun stories about inspiring Coloradans.

Disruption leads to innovation

The pandemic’s disruption has been, well, disruptive for libraries that lean heavily on in-person experiences like perusing aisles of books, accessing computers and wi-fi and sitting cross-legged for kids’ storytime. 

But as necessity moved them to connect with patrons in other ways, ideas emerged that will expand libraries’ menu of options once normal operations resume — even if no one knows when that might be.

Douglas County found success with “Quarantine Quiz Show,” in which two hosts led online participants on Friday nights through a friendly competition that tested their knowledge of the Harry Potter book series. That program born of the shutdown may continue afterward, though Amber DeBerry, the district’s director of community engagement, would like to see the hosts operating from library space, instead of from their own homes — a setup necessitated by the stay-at-home order.

Anythink Libraries employee Marianella Ayala delivers a curbside contactless pickup of library materials at the Anythink Wright Farms library branch in Thornton on June 5, 2020. (Andy Colwell, Special to The Colorado Sun)

With the stay-at-home order eliminating the pomp and circumstance of graduation, Douglas County Libraries reallocated funds, partnered with a local business and put together gifts for all the departing seniors in the county. Library staff signed up to do doorstep delivery of a small tool kit “to help them build their future,” DeBerry says. “Some of these kids have been patrons since they were babies.”

The libraries also added a program to help address mental health during the pandemic called Headspace, which offers free programs to library patrons that deal with everything from sleep to mindfulness to stress reduction. And while laptop check-out traditionally has been confined to the physical premises, DeBerry says Douglas County is considering a pilot program that would provide curbside check-out of units that can be taken home.

She adds that the libraries’ biggest event of the year, the summer reading program that serves about 10,000 kids, couldn’t have its usual big kickoff event. So staffers are distributing packets in the parking lot so participants will have a physical log for their reading accomplishments as well as some prizes to earn along the way.

In Adams County, the stay-at-home order prompted members of the Anythink team, who were working from home, to suggest offering a printing service for patrons who didn’t have the technology at hand. Staff members printed emailed materials on their own home printers and then mailed the documents to customers within 48 hours — for free.

“It was such a huge success, we’re going to start printing and curbside pickup next week,” Anythink’s Smith says. “We’re looking at this as something to do even when we reopen.”

The program Anythink launched to make phone calls to seniors — an idea that surfaced during a meeting with the county’s Aging Adult Services Response and Recovery team — also resonated with library patrons. Staff and about 30 volunteers divided the list of 65-and-older cardholders and began making calls while working from home.

Anythink Libraries employee Marianella Ayala holds a script she wrote for making outreach calls at the Anythink Wright Farms library in Thornton on June 5, 2020. She and other staff have made thousands of calls to library customers since late April to keep them informed about updates to library services due to COVID-19 — and also just to chat. (Andy Colwell, Special to The Colorado Sun)

A sample script for guidance makes sure the seniors have necessities like food and good information on COVID-19 — a broad list of topics designed to help ensure their well-being. But the most sought-after help wasn’t on the list.

Connection.

“What we found, once we’d called some people, was that their immediate needs had been met,” says Marsha Marcilla, supervisor of Anythink’s Wright Farms branch. “And people just wanted to chat. We found that most of the people we talk to, even if it’s not in an extensive conversation, they were really surprised the library was reaching out just to check on them. Many of them said of all the things they missed, they missed the library the most, reaffirming that it held a place for them.”

Some calls led to further interaction. Blackburn, the woman whose graduation from her academic program seemingly had been derailed by a faulty computer and no internet, was provided with a working laptop that connected to an internet hotspot.

One library worker stopped by a woman’s house and sat with her on the porch — socially distanced — and guided her through ordering some e-books. Other conversations took place in Spanish, with bilingual staffer Marianella Ayala handling many of those calls, or via text for seniors with hearing issues.

The callers weren’t on a time limit, but the longest conversation lasted an hour. 

“Once things are back to normal, people will be coming in,” Marcilla says. “This was a way for us to connect to neighbors we hadn’t been able to see or talk to.”

Libraries pivoted quickly

Anythink had to pivot quickly on multiple fronts when it became obvious that the pandemic was going to have long-range consequences and seep into summer.

Its summer reading program, often among the biggest undertakings for any library, had been ready to go. But the pandemic prompted a reimagining. Anythink designed a scrapbook for students to include momentos from their summer. Librarians created activities that could be transmitted online, but carried out at home with simple materials found at home.

“Sometimes it’s hard to remember what it’s like to be a kid in summer,” Smith says. “We’re working with local agencies on providing books for kids and some kits, like chalk and paint supplies so kids have extra stuff to play with. Summer is all about playing.”

It’s also about being outdoors, which is why Anythink purchased more outdoor furniture so patrons can more easily and safely use those spaces beyond the library’s walls. It’s also live-streaming its Backyard Concert Series — with no audience — so people can enjoy it at home.

Arapahoe incorporated virtual storytimes and then expanded the concept with call-in storytimes for those who couldn’t attend the online version. Both platforms offered tales read in English and Spanish.

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Whether virtual storytimes continue could depend on book publishers and even individual authors and how closely they choose to guard their copyrights. Arapahoe’s Sanidas notes that the libraries wanted to do virtual storytimes long ago, but copyright issues proved too big a stumbling block. 

During the pandemic, however, publishers have been much more lenient. Sanidas figures that it’s likely the virtual storytime will endure.

“But it’s complicated,” he says, “because every publisher, and sometimes even author, has different rules. Some will provide access and see the value. As libraries, we’re interested in continuing the service. It’s been well received by patrons.”

Similarly, e-books and other electronic materials have proven popular during the shutdown, prompting Arapahoe to reallocate its investment into more virtual materials. By monitoring usage of those resources the libraries will determine if that increased share of the budget will continue.

Sanidas says libraries are always interested in meeting people more on their own terms, and virtual programming during the lockdown reinforced the fact that they can do that in a variety of ways. 

The idea of reaching patrons virtually using the Zoom video conferencing system is something he wants to continue to explore. For instance, bringing in guests from around the world becomes suddenly more feasible and affordable — and is one remnant from life during the coronavirus that will continue.

Anythink Wright Farms employee Brian Parchman loads bags of books and other library materials requested by patrons for curbside contactless pickup by library members in Thornton on June 5, 2020. (Andy Colwell, Special to The Colorado Sun)

“It’s easier to get authors to do a virtual book talk than have 300 people in a meeting room,” Sanidas says. “And I’m interested in the phone as a modality again. In the past, it was kind of overlooked, just a way for people to call us.”

Prior to the pandemic shutdown, one of the Arapahoe libraries’ key services was allowing the public access to meeting space. Since that’s not an option now — much of the meeting space has become a quarantine zone for returned books and other materials — Sanidas says they’re exploring the idea of offering virtual meeting space.

One possibility would involve making Arapahoe Libraries’ Zoom accounts, as well as telephone party lines, available to the public. 

“We’re trying to meet needs as they exist today,” he says. “People need to meet, but with physical spaces closed, we don’t know when that’s going to be a viable option.”

“We’re hip to the disruption theme” Sanidas says. “One of our core values has been resiliency. The irony is that when we were creating these, there was some questioning about it as a core value. Until COVID.”

In the early stages of the pandemic, Anythink’s Smith was chatting with some filmmakers producing a documentary on public libraries. They asked her if people would come back when this was all over, and she instinctively replied that of course they will.

Then she paused and thought, “Wow, will they come back?” Now she’s more certain than ever.

“I think that because the public library is one of the institutions in every town that people can always count on to be flexible and fluid and adaptable, people will continue to count on us in the future as well,” he said. “Not so much the building or books. It’s all about the people.” 

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[futuristicallygayduck]

That’s Us: Chapter Three

Chapter Three: And The Ground Never Changes

Word count: 3,878

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Pre-epilogue: translation of song-lyrics | Epilogue

No trigger warnings for this chapter. More of a filler chapter with less intensity than the past two chapters, but hopefully you’ll all enjoy it anyway :)

Chapter summary: Baz defends Simon and Penny in front of the Coven, while the three of them each look back on the Aftermath of the battle.

To read on AO3, click here.

At the Coven

Baz’s Speech

“Mages, witnesses, Coven. My name is Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch and I am here as a primary witness to the proceedings the day of the battle in which the Mage died. I have a story to tell that is going to take quite a while and I’m hoping you will lend me your ears and refrain from reacting before I have finished the story.

Thank you.

Now, one of my favourite playwrights, William Shakespeare, once wrote: ‘The evil men do lives after them. The good is oft interred with their bones.’

‘So let it be with Caesar.’, he let Marc Antony speak at Caesar’s funeral.

So let it be with the Mage.

It’s actually a bit ironic to quote a man defending a tyrant, while I am here to do the exact opposite. However, while the Romans were aware of Caesars many ‘grievous faults’, the Mage’s have never been known. However, you cannot make a well-informed decision on Simon Snow and Penelope Bunce’s role in his death without knowing them.

Which is why I am here to tell you the truth about the Mage. The truth about the battle, the truth about the past seven years and the truth about way before that.”

- - - - -

The Aftermath

Penelope

Baz only stayed with us for one night. I don’t think he even planned to stay in the first place, but Simon wouldn’t leave him behind. Even though I still didn’t trust him, I have to say I also wasn’t too keen on having him be on his own after showing, in various ways, how little regard he has for his own life.

Mom wasn’t exactly happy to have a Pitch, or Simon, really, staying in our house, but she dealt with it fine. She drove us home (I realise that arriving to a magickal war with a car sounds pretty anti-climactic, but in the aftermath, it has proven to be very convenient), but I don’t think any of us stayed awake to witness the journey. Simon had fallen asleep in my arms quickly after Baz had let the flames die out. Once Baz and I had carried him to the car (Actually, Baz took him in his arms bridal style, but I couldn’t bring myself to completely let go of Simon, so I held onto his hand the whole way), the both of us passed out not minutes later.

I do remember asking one question, hushed, so that my mother wouldn’t hear:

“Have you ever bitten a person?”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Baz look so disgusted and mostly hurt. There was so much pain and guilt in his expression, that I believed him when he shook his head. He would never bite another human or mage. I guess that was enough for me.

Once we got home, Mum tried stuffing us with food, but even Simon wouldn’t eat. Baz went out ‘for a walk’, but I couldn’t even be bothered by the whole bloodsucking thing anymore. When he returned, we all sat silently around the table, staring into nothing. Simon just kept nodding off and crying in silence until Mum shooed us to bed. Baz made to find a place on the couch, but Simon reached his hand out to Baz and so he silently followed us upstairs to my room.

I still didn’t trust Baz one bit, -I’m not sure if I ever really will-, but if this was what Simon wanted, then I would go along with it.

The three of us fell asleep the second we hit the sheets, not even having bothered to change our clothes.

When I woke up the next morning Simon was still asleep next to me, and Baz was gone.

- - - - -

At the Coven

Baz’s Speech

“You see, Simon Snow has been a mystery to all of us. I’ve spent seven and a half years living in the same room and even I had never uncovered the great enigma that he is.

We have always been wondering so many things about him. Is he an actual mage? For we all know that mages do not leave their children behind. Where did he come from? Is he really the Chosen One? Even if he is the Chosen One, will he be able to control his magic and save us?

During the battle, a few weeks ago, Simon Snow has displayed one of the most miraculous uses of power. He shared it. He pushed it inside the Humdrum until it disappeared. We haven’t had any attacks or new holes ever since. He hasn’t had magic ever since.”

- - - - -

The Aftermath

Simon Snow

I kept a new list in my head called ‘Things I Might Never See Again’: 1. My Magic 2. The Mage 3. Watford 4. The Humdrum 5. Baz

Even though there were numbers, the order did not really matter. Some things I was sad about; some things I was happy about. Most things I didn’t even know anymore of how I felt about them.

Me and Penny were placed under house arrest by the Coven. We would get trials to decide on whether we’re murderers or not. Even I don’t know, really.

Penny got the opportunity to sit out her house arrest at Watford, so that she could finish her final year. At first, she refused to go. She didn’t want to leave me and I was grateful for that. However, merely three weeks after the battle, I already saw the tension eating at her. She needed the distraction and I figured it might be good to not have as much magic around, so I told her to go.

We got into a fight over it that lasted two days. Eventually, I won, and she went.

- - - - -

At the Coven

Baz’s Speech

“After the battle, I invested all my spare time in figuring out what had happened. I went to seek out all the questions we have always had about Simon Snow and the Insidious Humdrum, and all the questions I’ve always had about the Mage. It has been a shame to learn what I have learned about this man.

I know that there are a few people in this room that I would like to shield from this truth. But it needs to be out there.

I’m sorry.

After I returned to school I longed to go back to my mother’s old office. After she died and the Mage took over, I had never been allowed to go there, but it was the place I grew up. This was the place where I played and read books while my mother worked. The place where she would teach me my first Latin words and let me practice my first spells. This place had been my home before she died during the Watford Attack.

While I was reliving all my memories there, and, admittedly, snooping around a bit, I found this bright red leather booklet. I have it here with me and I’ll let you read through it after I finish speaking if you’d like to.

For now, I’ll just give you a quick summary of everything that I discovered through this booklet.

Because this has been the Mage’s diary for the past twenty years.”

- - - - -

The Aftermath

Baz

When I returned to Watford this time, there was no Sesame Open-ing the door. I’d always dreamed of making a dramatic entrance like that, but now I didn’t exactly feel like grabbing my chance. Instead, I tried to make myself as small as possible. Of course, however, Niall and Dev noticed my entrance anyway, although they seemed to be the only ones.

In mere seconds, they were in my face, yelling at me for ruining their childhood. I couldn’t even bring myself to react. I just looked back at them, spine straightened, until they stormed off. When I looked up to watch the rest of the dining hall, everyone was staring at me. I had nowhere to go, no one to sit with. It felt like I was in a completely new world with no familiar face. Perhaps this was what it had been like for Simon when he first got here.

My eyes instinctively searched for the quiet, empty tables on the sides rather than the crowded ones that I’d been used to. This was where I met Bunce’s gaze. She was on her own, too, and after a few seconds of silent staring she nodded at me to invite me over.

When I sat opposite her, at first, we remained quiet for a few minutes, picking at our food. I actually started when she finally spoke up:

“Agatha left.”, she said, “I don’t really know why, but she is in California now. Something about her being done with magic after what happened.”

She tried to keep her voice neutral, but I could still hear the same bitterness in her voice as she said the words as the bitterness I felt as I heard them. Wellbelove just left Simon here to rot. I may not have liked her in any way; Simon needed her. She left him.

“I see your friends have deserted you, too.”, she then stated.

“I think it might have been me who deserted them.”

“I guess.”

“Not that you would complain.” She considered me for a moment.

“No, not that I would complain.”

Since then we would always sit together. Usually, it’d be in silence. That first day I asked her how Simon was doing and I learned that his magic was truly gone. I had been thinking that maybe in this scenario, with the Mage dead, but Simon himself still alive, he might have been the big winner after all. Now, it turned out that perhaps he had had the greatest loss in the end, anyway.

After the first trial, it turned out that it wouldn’t be as easy as hoped to get Bunce and Snow proven innocent. There were not a lot of witnesses left when the Mage died. Most of the mages had already fled when the Humdrum showed up, and anyone who had remained, was too far away to really see everything that happened.

Not that they admitted that. Every witness seemed to have their own agenda. Some were from the Mage’s side and grieving. They lost the man who was their ultimate hero and they needed someone to blame. Others were from the Family’s side. Even though they were jubilant about the Mage’s death, they were still seeking for more blood. Especially, if it was the Mage’s Heir’s blood.

Or course, there were people who spoke the truth. This truth, however, usually came down to: “I was too far away to see what happened.”

After the first trial, Bunce and I permanently left our competition on grades behind us. Instead we focussed all our energy on finding out what exactly had happened the day of the battle and everything before that. We read forbidden history books, we scanned every inch of my mother’s old office, we glued together and took apart the story over and over until the plot finally made sense again. Until all the puzzle pieces found their rightful place, with the help of The Mage’s diary, to show us the picture of a gruesome reality.

That is when we started writing the speech.

- - - - -

At the Coven

Simon

It takes Baz another hour to explain tell the Coven everything that is in the diary. And I mean everything.

He doesn’t tell the story in chronological order. Penny told me it’s because it takes away the whole climax of the story. So, he starts with how the Mage has orchestrated the attack of the vampires on the nursery. How it is his fault that Baz’s mother has died. I can tell Baz is still hurt (obviously, why wouldn’t he be) by the furious look on his face. Somehow, he manages to suppress his anger and my heart aches for him.

He continues his story with a summary of the past eight years living with me. All the times that the Mage has taken me away for missions. All the times he said ‘emotionally abusive’ things. All the times he has ‘used me as a weapon’.

Penny has prepared me for all that Baz would say, so I manage to mostly keep myself together during the hearing. Maybe I will never truly feel how awful the Mage used to be, even though I rationally do understand it now. Hearing it will never stop hurting.

Then, Baz continues to tell about what happened at the battle. He tells about how the Mage fought with him and how the Mage kept demanding of me to share my power with him, even though I had no idea what he was talking about. He then tells about the Humdrum showing up, wearing my face, and me sharing my magic with the Humdrum. Pushing all of it into him, until none was left for me.

“How did the Mage know that Simon Snow could share his magic?”

Always Baz with the rhetorical questions.

From here on in he plunges into the whole beginning part of the diary. The part with the endless analyses of the Prophecy. The part where the Mage set up his plan, where he described every little detail of the execution of it. The part where he describes impregnating my mother and performing a ritual on her to make sure that I would be the Chosen One.

“These are the evil things the Mage has done, for which he would not have been remembered. He desired power so much, that he created the one who would bring the World of Mages down. He willingly experimented on Simon Snow and made him not the Chosen One, but the one to bring our destruction. He manipulated and used him for his own gains for almost eight years.

“That day on the battlefield, after Simon Snow sacrificed everything to save our world, he asked for the Mage to stop hurting him. At that moment, it seemed like a call for the Mage to stop hitting and pulling at him at that very moment and I am convinced that that had always been Simon Snow’s intention.

“Maybe we did now know at that moment what evil the Mage has done, but I think the universe did. I think that the universe understood that the only way the Mage could stop hurting Simon Snow was by dying.”

I thought I could hear this all again without breaking, but as Baz speaks, and the eyes of the audience turn to me rather than him, I can feel the tears well up again. He was my father, and the only way he could stop hurting me was by not existing at all.

For the first time during his entire speech, Baz turns to look at me. He looks composed again, but there is this sadness in his eyes that he can no longer hide from me and he knows it. He doesn’t try anymore and as much as I hate that it’s there, I try to hold on to this one piece of him that I get as tightly as I can.

He pauses for a second to fix my eyes and then nods slightly at me before continuing.

“Simon Snow is a good person. Maybe even the best in the World of Mages. I would not say this without reason. This boy has lived solely in care homes for eleven years before finding out that he could use magic. He has been abandoned from the very beginning and has always had every reason to say ‘fuck you’ to the entire world for treating him so awfully.

“Instead, when he found out about our world, the world that abandoned him, and his role in saving this world, he took the entire weight of it on his shoulders. He did every assignment the Mage gave him, he studied harder than anyone at Watford, because even magic itself betrayed him. He put his life on the line countless of times for our ungrateful arses.”

It’s hard to tell whether the offended murmurs in the room are because of the swearing or because of the meaning of his words. Probably both.

“You might say that maybe he somehow found out about all the evil the Mage has done, and that he willingly killed the Mage, but Simon Snow would never willingly kill anyone. I know this, because I am standing here.

“Simon Snow and I have been enemies for almost eight years. When we met, he greeted me with the warmest smile I’d ever seen and I told him off. I have bullied and challenged him for years and years and years for no reason other than that our ‘families’ are enemies. We could have been friends, but, instead, I taunted him at every chance I got. I said and did unspeakable things to him and I regret every single one of them.

“Simon Snow had every reason to kill me. We have always known that it would come to this. To a final battle to the death. When it came, I knew that I was done being this prop in the Old Families and the Mage’s war. I was only willing to take it this far. So, I didn’t resist, I didn’t attack.

“That day on the battle field, Simon Snow could have killed me. He almost did. The spell had already left him, but he pulled it back by sheer force of will. He saved me from himself, because Simon Snow is not a murderer. Simon and I have been enemies for eight years. The Mage has been his father figure for eight years. If Simon Snow could not willingly kill his longest enemy, he could not have willingly killed the first person who seemed to care for him.”

The entire room stays dead silent for a while. Only when Baz takes a step back does the Coven realise that he is done speaking. They all look uncomfortably at each other until finally one of them speaks up.

“Thank you, Mr. Grimm-Pitch.”

Baz only nods in response, his eyes challenging the mage to argue his point. The mage turns to another and another and another Coven member, but all of them seem dumbfounded. One of them has taken the diary of the Mage that Baz has offered them and thumbs through it.

She pauses at some pages in the book, reads a bit, and then continues thumbing through it. The rest of us watches her and the other members of the Coven shift and mumble and panic.

Then, suddenly, the mage’s fingers halt in her reading on a page. She looks up and coughs a bit. Everyone turns to her and the suffocating silence returns to the court room.

“Mr. Grimm-Pitch, you have suggested that Mr. Snow has never been the Chosen One. Is that right?”

“Yes.”

“However, the Prophecy clearly states that there is in fact a Chosen One.”

“That is correct.”

“If I understand correctly from your story, that day on the battle field no one has brought Mr. Snow’s fall, even though the Prophecy clearly states that one will bring his fall.”

“Simon Snow has not fallen on the battle field indeed.”

“The Insidious Humdrum, or that part of Mr. Snow, is already gone. If this story you’re telling is correct, no one has brought his fall. The Prophecy is pretty clear about the role of the Chosen One, therefore your theory can in no way be correct.”

“I understand your confusion, Mrs, but it actually makes a lot of sense.”

“Please explain then, Mr. Pitch.”

“Simon Snow has fallen way before the battle that day even started.”

“Then how do you suggest that happened?”

The entire room is on edge. Penny didn’t discuss this with me and considering the look on her face, she also had not thought of this.

I can only hope that Baz truly has a good response to this question, but somehow I completely trust him to save us. So, when Baz, for only the second time today, turns to look at me, I meet his gaze and nod at him. You got this, I try to tell him. Fight back.

As if he has heard me, I see some of the tension in his shoulders releasing. I see a small smile appearing. At first, I think it is a happy smile, but when I look closer, I see the bitter sadness taking over. This smile is not as much a thank you or an I got you as it is a goodbye.

“The one who has brought the fall of Simon Snow and the Insidious Humdrum…”

He pauses to shift his gaze to look directly into the eyes of the mage.

“… is the one he has fallen in love with.”

- - - - -

The Aftermath

Penelope

It was the first day Baz came back. Breakfast was mostly quiet, but we both had things to say and questions to ask.

I started asking him why he had done what he did for Simon, but I didn’t get further than a few words:

“Baz, why did y-“

“How is Simon?”

I considered the desperate look in his eyes for a second. He looked down at his plate again, avoiding my eyes.

“Sorry, I interrupted you. What did you want to ask?”

“Never mind…”, I paused for a second, thinking. “I think you just answered by question.”

“Excuse me, what?”

“Merlin, this is all starting to make so much sense…”

“Crowley, Bunce, what are you talking about?”

I hear the frustration and fear simmering in his voice and I take a second to go over every thought, every memory, every conversation of the past seven years. It makes so much sense.

“You are in love with him.”

I look him defiantly in the eyes and I see a panicked look flashing by before his gaze hardens.

“I am not in love with Snow.”

I smirk.

“You called him Simon before.”

- - - - -

At the Coven

Baz

We win the trial. Bunce and Snow are free to go and none of us will get any punishment. Well… at least not from the Coven.

Needless to say, I don’t think my father will be accepting me back in the house for quite some time, if ever. I’m still the monster I’ve always been. A monster that never should have even stayed alive if it were up to my mother. I didn’t tell the Coven about that. Or anyone, for that matter. I have to carry that burden alone. I am not sure I will.

Simon lost everything. His magic was the only thing that got him out of the care homes. Watford was the one place he could call home. The Mage may have been his biggest enemy in the end, but he was his father nonetheless. The person he had looked up to and who had shown him a whole new world. Snow had been a monster as well. It may not have been his fault, but it was still his burden to bear. I wonder whether he will.

We survived the battle and we won the trial. We’re still the losers of all this. We survived, but what for.

Yay, that was the third chapter! I hope you enjoyed it :) Please let me know what you thought. 

I’ll be posting the next chapter hopefully quicker than I posted this one. I’m sorry I kept you all waiting. Life gets busy sometimes.

Thank you all for reading so far!

[recommendedlisten]

Did 2017 suck? On a collective level, the short answer is “yes,” but make no doubt about it -- Music as our always reliable creative backbone and support system through these troubled time had an outstanding year. There were so many great albums coming from every direction of the sonic spectrum that if this year’s list had 20 more spots to give, it would have been easy to fill each and every one of them. We got the best out of everything this year: Familiar favorites continuing to excel at what they do, reunited comeback surpassing expectations, breakouts from new artists who are just getting started in writing their own legacies, guitar rock far drom dying, the two best young rappers once again dueling it out for the throne, and others who focused their energy and voices to resist, preach change, or at least try to make sense of this world. We escaped it together. We got our hearts broken together. We holed up in our heads together. We got angry together. We grieved together. We found hope on the other end of darkness together. The 30 Best Albums of 2017 are just as much a part of us as we are them.

30. Liars - TFCF [Mute Records]

In Liars’ world, nothing is ever as it once was, and no greater are those words true on the band’s eighth full-length TFCF. It’s the first album where the outfit is now working entirely through the creative psyche of founder Angus Andrew since the dissolution of his partnership with its other primary creator following the promotion of 2014′s laser raver Mess, and with that, Andrew uses TFCF as a formal vessel to mourn that loss through Liars’ endlessly shape-shifting body. Its minimalist shift is jarring when held against the band’s latter outputs where dance mechanics and electricity ran through in no short supply, and no turn is ever predictable. In a sense, this feels like Andrew reclaiming a sense of his own identity through the sonic outlet he has poured two decades of exploration into, and while the listen harbors an underlying trepidation in going at it alone, it’s also an adventurous fresh start for the revered noisenik’s work that reminds us why we signed up to tag along for the journey to begin with.

29. Charlotte Gainsbourg - Rest [Because Music]

One of the most peculiar angles to observe about Rest, Charlotte Gainsbourg’s third proper studio effort and first since 2011′s excellent Beck-assisted effort IRM, is that it’s a grief album that sounds nothing of darkness, and dances in the face of death. While the background context of much of it has been discussed by Gainsbourg herself (her half-sister and photographer Kate Berry passed away in 2011,) the actress / musician has surrounded herself with fellow French sound designers Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo of Daft Punk and producer SebastiAn in a manner that outlines her catharsis in neons and clean-lined synthesizers that, even for a mpm-Francophone-fluent listener, feel robust with life. Ultimately, the album isn’t so much about how death has taken its toll, but rather been pushed far enough away from Gainsbourg to a point where it can co-exist with the honors of what we must appreciate living for as well. So is the mark of an artist who often deters from cliché, and instead poses a challenge to procenceptions.

28. Spencer Radcliffe & Everyone Else - Enjoy the Great Outdoors [Run for Cover Records]

In short, Spencer Radcliffe is an anomaly. The multi-instrumental songwriter has quietly become some of your favorite artists’ favorite artist for years now thanks to his treasure trove of self-released efforts and experimental oddities strewn across BandCamp, but ever since he signed with Run for Cover Records to release 2015′s proper debut full-length Looking After, that sense of stability has wrangled in the eccentricities going on his head without trampling them. On Enjoy the Great Outdoors, Radcliffe’s friends help bring his sound outside of the metaphorical bedroom, and the result is a long, winding day trip journeyed on ragged guitars, grumbling percussion, and high as a kite existentialism appropriate for coastlines drives, camping retreats, sand-sprawled beach days, or maybe just a lazed nap in the backyard hammock. It’s music for a mindset rather than a concrete destination.

27. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds from Another Planet [Dead Oceans]

Michelle Zauner has traveled across the entire universe of sound at a speed faster than light to evolve to the point where she is today as an artist. Psychopomp, last year’s debut album from her band Japanese Breakfast, was a promising reintroduction to the singer-songwriter we had once known as the lead vocalist for the Philly indie punk outfit Little Big League. It carried the weight of a heavy mourning sound on airy vestiges of dream-pop while embossing Zauner’s penmanship, and on its follow-up Soft Sounds from Another Planet, it’s as if that gauzy cloud has drifted out of view. What we see is a vivid realization of the wonders in her art, traveling across a galaxy of sound where crystallized synth-pop, big romantic ballads, and grizzled indie rock can coexist without impinging upon each others comfort zones. Zauner may have put herself in the storyteller’s chair of writing a sci-fi love story with this effort, but it turns out that no matter the medium, those emotions are universally binding.

26. Margo Price - All American Made [Third Man Records]

Midwest Farmer’s Daughter, last year’s debut effort from outsider country songwriter Margo Price, wasn’t just a breakthrough by merit of putting in a decade’s worth of starving artist work in someone who never folded under the weight of rejection, but also because it was a survival story that sang the life out of hardships faced in between, lending credence to her “authenticity” as a genuine country songwriter in the process. Following the 2016 election, the stories behind this year’s sophomore follow-up All American Made didn’t take as much time to collect themselves as she flips her perspective onto world where women still are fighting for respect and equality, or there’s a need to advocate action rather than thoughts and prayers for the country’s undercut farming industry, all scribed in wry one-liners and a modern spin on traditionalism. If you want an accurate picture of what your neighbor is up against, Price is the precisely the hard-working voice to make that call for empathy.

25. The World Is a Beautiful Place & I Am No Longer Afraid to Die - Always Foreign [Epitaph Records]

The World Is a Beautiful Place and I Am No Longer Afraid to Die have done everything in epic proportions since a creative big bang placed them in the music universe. 2015′s excellent sophomore outing Harmlessness delivered an ambitious self-care guide vesseled in mythological folk tales and song sequences that borderlined a night at the indie-emo opera, but with it pondered where the CT collective would go after climbing Everest. The answer is back down to Earth, as their third studio effort Always Foreign is the band’s most compact work to date, refining their songcraft with sharpened hooks and trimming away the meandering excess without necessarily watering down their epic appeal. Yet, what a scary, alien place this world they’ve gravitated back down to has become since their last chapter. If Harmlessness fought to make space for a sense of humanity in every particle of light in our bleak, existential throes, Always Foreign is defined by leader David Bello accepting that most everything around us is going to remain terrible despite us naïve hopefuls’ best efforts. Drastic turns to brazen righteousness just may be the survival tactic needed to see us through to tomorrow.

24. Vagabon - Infinite Worlds [Father / Daughter Records]

Brooklyn’s best kept secret weapon is now the world’s to share. Following the release of a coupling of demos and an EP, Cameroon-born and NYC-based songwriter Laetitia Tamko, b.n.a. Vagabon, and her debut full-length Infinite Worlds collects her migrated experiences alongside the boundary-less perspective of the indie rock universe. It’s title is an ideal descriptor of its sound, as the listen is a layered lo-fi adventure of electric guitars and bedroom synths that not only defines the DIY songwriter’s own possibilities to create for herself, but for a scene stymied by monotonous representation. As a black female voice in a densely white scene, Tamko’s pursuit for the authentic and her own identity despite those odds steers the wheel away from sonic predictability. She’s demonstrating with effect how outside exposure doesn’t necessarily have to lead to a total reconstruction of the home’s foundation. A fresh coat of paint will do.

23. Ratboys - GN [Topshelf Records]

In the soil of the indie rock underground, a new crop of alternative takes on country continues to sprout. The Chicago duo Ratboys wear their threads well, sounding simultaneously scrappy and well-collected from the inside, especially in the latter through the songwriting prowess of vocalist Julia Steiner reflecting as much of her own personal experiences into their songs as she does the emotions connected to them. Their 2015 debut AOID safely laid the groundwork for their brand of twangy indie rock, and here on GN, they continue sculpting their identity in a grainy field quickly saturating itself of Saddle Creek-era devotionals by telling stories that only Steiner, alongside primary cohort and guitarist Dave Sagan’s scene-setting assists, can. Every step along their long and winding journey yearns for the close comfort of home – seemingly eternally out of reach – giving the listen a wistfully warm undercurrent that makes for a pretty good imitation of it.

22. Kindling - Hush [6131 Records]

It isn’t easy being an indie rock band who has to follow in the footsteps of a very distinct Western Mass pedigree. The outside world still compares every band from the area to the ‘90s alternative lineage of Dinosaur Jr., the Pixies, and Sebadoh with boxed-in sonic schematic assumptions. The Easthampton quintet Kindling certainly love their reverb, but on their sophomore breakthrough Hush, they have created a shoegazing sonic boom in the valley that stays loyal to the area’s legacy of loudness while putting their own stamp of hardcore influences on an otherwise lush atmosphere of rock. There are just as many moments throughout the listen that double as invitations to the pit as their are celestial drifts, with guitarists Gretchen WIlliams and Stephen Pierce’s dueling vocals becoming part of its soundscape at every turn. Sure, there are its flickering moments of golden age alt-rock stomps and whirring shoegaze in its booming production courtesy of Justin Pizzoferrato (Dinosaur Jr., Speedy Ortiz), but Kindling is pushing those sounds into a new direction that leaves the past in star dust.

21. LCD Soundsystem - American Dream [Columbia / DFA Records]

James Murphy has realized that putting the final nail in LCD Soundsystem’s coffin didn’t have to be a thing if he didn’t want to, or because it’s how other artists did their business, and that only he could decide under what terms their story ends. What LCD Soundsystem has become during the in-between on American Dream is a timely and necessary comedown of their catalog’s euphoria during these anxious times does not hurt either. If 2010′s This Is Happening was the sound of hundreds of black and white balloons falling from the rafters of Madison Square Garden in a swan song of celebratory fashion, then American Dream is hearing each one of them attempting to crawl toward your feet before they deflate and shrink to the floor in one of their last moments of exhale. It’s a darker and heavier album compared to the confetti and disco ball flashes of the past, with the blue skies and puffy white clouds on its cover offering a patronizing oppression -- Quite literally the new age sounds of death from above.

20. BROCKHAMPTON - Saturation II [Empire / Question Everything, Inc.]

As usual, the discussion around hip-hop this year will mainly revolve around Kendrick and Vince as two of the year’s biggest standouts once more, but the cross-country collective known as BROCKHAMPTON have secured their place as the rap game’s biggest breakouts. Saturation II isn’t even the only album they’ve put out this year – it’s the second in a trilogy that began in early summer and will be imminently concluding with a third installment – but it’s the effort that has rightfully caught buzz beyond the Internet forums where this self-professed “American boy band” joined forces. If their end game is world domination, then their brand of pop-infused, Kanye-worship hip-hop is good way to get there, and it doesn’t hurt that the team effort of every member bringing a different story to the table makes Saturation II play like a non-stop assembly line of crew anthems.  

19. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism [Jagjaguwar]

After years of relentlessly molding his craft of experimental electronic soul, Moses Sumney finally puts the finishing touches on his wondrous cynicism with his debut full-length Aromanticism. The album has the characteristics of an album that appeals to emotional masochists, but it’s when Sumney creates these temporal flickers of light within his sound where even the darkest paths of the rabbit hole uncover a beauty in the despair. Radiohead, Bon Iver, and Sufjan Stevens have centered entire careers on existentialism with more elements, built for larger stages, yet Sumney proves here that he needn’t expand much beyond his natural body to achieve this. It can feel almost uncomfortably voyeuristic, as if we’re privy to an intimate encounter, except Aromanticism is the opposite of that: A quiet cry into the infinite, hoping patiently that some day someone reaches back.

18. Big Thief - Capacity [Saddle Creek]

If you want to sit down with a few good stories mired in truth, tragedy, and fiction, then Adrienne Lenker is your best summer read. Last year, the Brooklyn-based songwriter turned the music world’s ear her way when she and her band Big Thief released their promising debut Masterpiece astutely in the right avenue of ramshackle indie rock on Saddle Creek, and its sophomore follow-up Capacity builds on the upward interest by penning several new chapters of prose haunted by the past and subtly beautified by the ornate features of folk rock. It’s by no means in comparison to the rest of summer’s sounds a booming listen, but is its own force of nature that forces you to hang onto Lenker’s every word with full attention to reap its riches. City slickers often make great escapes to seek out this kind of peace and quiet in retreats, but Big Thief’s solitude finds its way to you without ever leaving home.

17. Kelela - Take Me Apart [Warp Records]

Kelela has been an influencer in spilling a dark wave from the dance and R&B undercurrent into the collective mainstream conscious since appearing virtually out of nowhere in 2013. Through mixtapes and EPs, her futuristic style wrapped grime, dubstep and modern techno’s rattling walls around her sensual moves and ethereal vocal presence, and finally, on her debut full-length Take Me Apart, her hallucinogenic formula of R&B pop becomes more lucid than ever as Kelela  continues to mutate every influence since the days of growing up (as she puts it) “in the ’burbs listening to R&B, jazz and Björk” and beyond together. Her art of seduction has also moved onto a universal plane here as she navigates the messy world of late night hookups, drunken texts in the early hours of a restless post-breakup, and eventually, moving on for the better. While still soft and pillowy, Kelela’s voice has never sounded in such focus as it does here, which is to say her intentions gleam through the soundboards loud and clear.

16. Jay Som - Everybody Works [Polyvinyl Records]

The work of 22-year-old Melina Duterte exists in its own space, because that’s exactly where it was born. As a fledgling songwriter living on the outskirts of the Bay Area, she began recording music under the online name-generated moniker Jay Som over the course of the past five years, haphazardly posting them onto her BandCamp page without caution before peaking the interest of venerable indie rock label Polyvinyl Records. On her debut full-length Everybody Works, she puts in the effort of tenfold humans to deliver an album so rich in dream-pop textures and visceral fuzz rock that she’d have you believing more warm bodies were standing right next to her during its recording. And yet, despite Everybody Works many layers, her proper introduction bares the markings of the warm insularity of the bedroom where Duerte recorded every instrument on her own doing. It’s filled with enough tenderness to compliment its intentionally rockist ways, bringing to the forefront a unique, introverted identity that blurs the line drawn between proper studio mechanics and the magic of homespun spaces.

15. The National - Sleep Well Beast [4AD]

The National are one of the most consistently great indie rock bands to survive the NYC Aughts scene and all of its history that has for the most part become anecdotal enough to fill up the pages of Lizzy Goodman’s Meet Me In the Bathroom. Consistency can be its own trap, however, as it can lead down the road of creative sameness,but their seventh full-length Sleep Well Beast feels like a needed shock to their system even if so much of it tip its hand to what made their early catalog bold. There’s Matt Berninger and his wife Carin Besser reconnecting his prose with matters of lovers’ quarrels and commitments, and just the right amount of darkness swallowing up the night that has become synonymous with the National’s relationship with the city. Funny how they actually had to flee the city to record the album, and that wilderness experiment is what ends up feeding Sleep Well Beast its electricity as the quintet refit their machine with artificial limbs and heartbeats. For the National, success in grandeur is in the way they convey intimacy.  

14. Converge - The Dusk In Us [Deathwish Inc. / Epitaph Records]

Holding The Dusk In Us up against any of Converge’s other albums results in this one joining the superlatives of added consistency as one of the strongest catalogs reigns in the hardcore and metal scene, and how they’re a thousand miles away from their nearest peers. Their 9th full-length in particular excels in the way that the Boston heavyweight’s brawny existential substance injected into each track isn’t due to the concept itself or focusing on a certain aspect of their sound, but instead embracing each member’s strengths and ability to bring out the best in what they’ve collectively refined as singularity when in each others’ presence for the past 27 years. According to frontman Jacob Bannon, not even parenthood or aging have changed the way he and his ‘mates approach writing songs in the wide eyed way they did when they were just kids, since this listen transcends those notions as  a timeless anomaly of hardcore perfectionism. If anything, time only serves to emboss Bannon’s scrapes for meaning or light in an increasingly dark world despite the burrowing anxiety of breakdowns they flail into.

13. The War On Drugs - A Deeper Understanding [Atlantic Records]

By design, A Deeper Understanding, isn’t actually all that difficult to understand. For years, the War On Drugs’ mastermind Adam Granduciel has been perfecting his craft as a new age highway vagabond by bridging the gaps between classic heartland rock and synthetic pastures, and on his Philly band’s major label debut for Atlantic, he comes closer than he ever has to getting that formula entirely right. Those years on the independent scene seamlessly flow from their tributaries into the mouth of high end studio precision – Not that much of a departure from where 2014′s craft beer classic Lost In the Dream left off, but rather a widescreen continuation of its colors with more lucid light and memory behind them. Whether your journey leads you down winding mountain roads or a stretch sandwiched between endless field, A Deeper Understanding can make each of those landscapes bolder, and even if life doesn’t take your there physically, Granduciel’s music still has that power to.

12. Slowdive - Slowdive [Dead Oceans]

The challenge facing a reunited Slowdive two decades since their last record is how a band of their legacy status goes about reinventing the wheel of a genre they helped mold, but has since seen its shape stretched to a breaking point. . Previous to Slowdive, their only attempt at transformation came with the divisive electronic experiment and initial death knell in 1995′s Pygmalion, but the modern age is more open-minded to these kind of creative risks. While Slowdive orbits closely to the cosmic tour de force of their debut classic Slouvaki with greater consideration to concentrating its deeper impact, the album indulges in the dense atmospheric properties of its genus offshoot post-rock, while other moments point to how without Slowdive, there might not be a Radiohead. A formidable comeback is one thing, but Slowdive proves the band’s legacy has not only withstood the test of time, but that they’re active participants in keeping it alive better than where they left it.

11. Girlpool - Powerplant [ANTI-]

Before the world got big on them, Girlpool were just two teenage friends and budding songwriters sitting in a bedroom with a guitar and a bass, wide-eyed with ideas, but not really sure where any of them would lead them. That tiny childhood bedroom where Girlpool, now out of the teenage woods, came to life is no longer big enough to fit all of their world experiences and emotions resonating in daily lives, yet on their sophomore effort Powerplant, they’re able to add more substance to their minimalist sound without necessarily squeezing small-spaced intimacy completely out of the picture. The project is still primarily the vehicle of Harmony Tividad and Cleo Tucker, but this is the first effort that includes built-in drums by Miles Wintner as well as an added supply of electricity in the studio that makes that tiny room style of theirs boom from wall to wall. If their music was a thing of line drawings and outlines before, then Powerplant paints the world around them in full technicolor with a sound that comes through the speakers as wholly three-dimensional.

10. King Woman - Created In the Image of Suffering [Relapse Records]

Bay Area artist Kristin Esfandiari has been refining her brand of doom and gloom for years in a duality between her metal band King Woman and her shoegazing solo outfit Miserable. Each of those facets play an integral part in turning a confident new corner, however, for the former on their immaculately grim debut full-length Created In the Image of Suffering. In our current political climate, it’s a resistance necessity, as Esfandiari heaves a wrecking ball into patriarchal tropes and theological repression. She damns humankind’s origin folklore into a sludgy, gauzy hell, and reconceives it through the womb of terrifying transcendence. This listen scrapes into bone and marrow under sunburned skies as much as it does ominous thunderclouds, and ushers in King Woman as the new savior of a world whose limits stretch well beyond metal boxes, making for the year’s top honor in its class of heavy.

9. Lorde - Melodrama [Republic / Lava Records]

Lorde still had almost half a decade left on the clock as a teenager when she released her breakout debut Pure Heroine, and that reminder brings with it the realization than not even all of the fame and accolades coming at her fast could protect her from a growing pain so pedestrian as young love and heartbreak, presented with #nofilter on Melodrama. The few, improvable criticisms of Pure Heroine barely exist here. Where that album’s highlights were in its low sizzle stunners of teenage festival anthems, Melodrama has something different going for it altogether in its post-breakup party night concept that strings the narration along from start to finish through a synesthesia of sound and color wired with vivid detail. These sensory synapses wouldn’t be set off without Lorde’s lyricism, as her past work’s vaguely universal themes of being a shoulder-shrug millennial give way to hyper-specificity in both pain and recovery. 20 is a beautiful age to start seeing the world for what it really is, and we’re lucky to be living it through Lorde’s eyes.

8. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights [Matador Records]

Julien Baker probably sees her growing position as a patron saint of sadness as a shared experience of universal catharsis much like how we are expected to grieve and deal with personal traumas in our own way. Listening to her sophomore effort (and first for Matador) Turn Out the Lights indeed does sound like an emotionally wrenching experience for an artist to undertake in the studio in the way she leaves no naked thought uncovered from our ears, but that she has managed to take the foundation of what was otherwise a skeletal sound on her 2015 debut Sprained Ankle and transform it into a fully fleshed body that hits our souls with deeper impact is her super power. Her songwriting style remains largely cavernous by treating her electric guitar like a strummed acoustic, occasionally allowing the organ hum and piano keys sink, but the inclusion of Sorority Noise’s Cam Boucher on clarinet and saxophone can transform a song like “Appointments” from a soft hymn into a therapeutic gospel post-rock symphony. Elsewhere, she crafts explosive self-care ballads or relies on Camille Faulkner's strings as turnbuckles while wrestling with life's big questions. It's impossible to find fault in Turn Out the Lights, considering the depth in Baker's EQ's through song is a gift that helps us all cope, too.

7. Sorority Noise - You’re Not As ______ As You Think [Triple Crown Records]

Sorority Noise are a rock band shoved under the emo banner, probably because they talk about the quiet things few have the guts to spill in public out loud. Life, in reality, is filled with messy moments, and they’re at the forefront of an incredibly diverse fourth wave landscape that’s carving out their own space in the modern indie rock cannon proper for coming of age discussions on existentialism, sociopoltiical issues, self-care, and in the Connecticut quartets case on You’re Not As ______ As You Think, a skeptical faith, grief and death. Here, they’re tempering pop-punk riffs into wall-scaling post-rock climbs, puddling effects, and echo chamber vocals that dissect complex spiritual dialogues in light of life’s murkier moments. There’s no social taboo too fearful to tackle with humility here, and they’re all framed inside of quotables and sing-a-longs that will undoubtedly be tattooed into the memories of listeners for years to come. If this isn’t an ideal way to pay your final respects, then nothing else is.

6. PRIESTS - Nothing Feels Natural [Sister Polygon Records]

PRIESTS burst onto the scene back in 2014 with an EP entitled Bodies and Control and Money and Power, and forcibly stated their intentions on taking back the second and fourth words specifically in regards to inalienable human rights. That being said, the D.C. quartet’s full-length debut Nothing Feels Natural wasn’t something immaculately conceived as soon as the country woke up on November 9th to the American nightmare ahead. Its themes are subjects that needed public outcry all along, and yet, are made all the more critical in dialogue as we stand here in discontent today. Yet, Nothing Feels Natural does more than just protest status quo and rail against systematic injustices. Every great once in a while, the punk scene is in need of a new voice of wreckoning to kick it upside down, and PRIESTS’ fluid cross-style of sounds in the realms of existentially exhaling post-punk or cantankerous free jazz make Katie Alice Greer’s incendiary statements all the more evident.

5. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. [Aftermath / Top Dawg Entertainment / Interscope Records]

To Pimp a Butterfly placed Kendrick Lamar on a pedestal as not only a savior to the rap world, but one wielding his power for greater purpose in calling out the country’s unresolved racism. DAMN. is past the point of addressing the problem, though, and now that Lamar’s focus has been broadened, he’s doing what we already knew him to be, and that’s humblebragging as the self-proclaimed best living rapper right now. There is no distinguishable commitment to a particular vibe on this outing, as DAMN. is more of a singles-driven affair where instead of one story bleeding from one track into another, you get 14 versions of K-Dot that stand on their own while still piecing together a bigger picture, neatly tied together by the bookends of the Top Dawg origin story from beginning to end. In between, Kendrick is switch-hitting between shutting down his critics and sinking his teeth deep into his own dark existentialism. He’s just a man after all, who realizes his life and success is a gift not to be taken for granted granted, and on DAMN., Lamar ensures every moment counts.

4. Paramore - After Laughter [Fueled by Ramen]

Paramore’s 2013 self-titled effort was a surprising reboot that saw the band growing up with tough love realizations. It was also the moment they began finding their own lane in the music universe at large with a sound that was as striking as Hayley Williams’ dye job thanks in part to working with atmospheric alt-rock producer Justin Meldal-Johnsen (M83, Nine Inch Nails.) Despite its success, life hasn’t gotten any more fun for the pop-punk survivalists on After Laughter. The band may have made amends with original drummer Zach Farro, but it’s an effort standing in the shadow of loss following the messy departure of bassist Jeremy Davis and Williams’ crumbling marriage. The business of being celebrity is hard times, and here, Williams lets out one deep sigh in widescreen format filled with arena-ready pop-rock she and her ‘mates only began to experiment with four years ago. It’s committed fully to the sparkle and shine of what they always were, except now they’ve figure out a way to glow without resorting to being fake happy.

3. (Sandy) Alex G - Rocket [Domino Records]

It should be maddening to listen to an artist trying to be too many things at once, but it’s what has made the career of prolific Philly songwriting wunderkind Alexander Giannascoli so enthralling. As (Sandy) Alex G, his many releases over the years have been a grab bag of indie rock and esoteric influences that when hodgepodged together somehow shape themselves into a semblance of sounds that makes sense together as much as they do apart, and on Rocket, the variations are more abundant than ever. The end result is the songwriter’s most collected release while establishing him as one of his generation’s ebst musical multi-tasker. Heard here in his indie rock fashion line is wearing everything from country, hardcore, to his brand of Frank Ocean-endorsed bedroom pop convincingly, and at this point, it would actually be a letdown at this point if he didn’t pander toward these patterns criss-crossing into one another while creating these strangely beautiful moments of parallel. A world where (Sandy) Alex G didn’t do that would just be too grounded, and Rocket is proof that he is meant to be far out orbiting the Earth.

2. Vince Staples - Big Fish Theory [ARTium / Blacksmith / Def Jam]

Over the last three years, Vince Staples has either released a mixtape, EP, or full-length album that have turned all ears inside and out of the hip-hop world in his direction. He has in jest referred to the movement going into his sophomore follow-up Big Fish Theory as “Afrofuturism,” referencing a millennium from now as its sonic starting point, but being the humblebragger who leaves any assessment in his listener’s hands, the thought of putting any kind of label on it would be a failed attempt at restraining its orbiting persona. With his stock continuously on the rise, Staples is in the moment here, ruminating from within the id against a corrupt world as his backdrop, putting every word to pen as if it’s his last and his legacy depended on it. He’s at the cutting edge with where hip-hop is headed, working with LA beat scene wunderkind Zack Sekoff on a majority of the LP’s tracks, a few twisted ventures with pop deconstructionist SOPHIE, as well as bass-heavy DJ duos GTA and Christian Rich. If you were to remove the rhymes, you’d still be left with a fashion-forward avant techno album, but alas, Staples puts the boom and static on the same level as his ego, and we get the year’s most adventurous foray from rap music.

1. Zola Jesus - Okovi [Sacred Bones Records]

Zola Jesus returned to her haunted home Sacred Bones for her fifth and career-best full-length Okovi, and the road leading her there has been a long and winding one. Her dark art began forming in the corners of noise and industrial gothic pop in the late Aughts, and after attempting a pop crossover with it on 2014′s Taiga, her experiment in grande ambition has done nothing but inform her method in writing an album that puts every facet of being onto the same soundscape. Here, she uses that unbreakable foundation to process a series of heavy life-altering events in a manner that only Nika Danilova can when it comes time to holding our existence up to questioning. On paper, conversations on illness, death, and depression can sound incredibly grave, but even in life’s darkest moments, Danilova’s siren calls amid ornate transcendentalism finds a way to the light, and it’s that journey filled with agony that makes Okovi – the Slavik word for “shackles” – a visionary breakthrough. It’s a reminder than regardless of how overwhelming and even terrifying it can be just to be alive, life would be taken for granted if it weren’t for pain reminding us to live it to the fullest. In 2017, we may have let our nihilistic fears shake us, but we also fought for every ounce of hope as well. No other album embodied that struggle better than Okovi.

[cynthiajayusa]

Community Celebrates Pompano Bill

Pompano Bill

1926 – 2018

Like so many other, I was deeply affected when I heard that Pompano Bill had passed away.  At first, I went into a deep silence and just wanted to be alone to collect my thoughts. A sense of calm overcame me as I thought that Bill had just ended a spectacular journey we call life on earth.  Bill and I often talked about our community, politics and of course, gossip. One thing is certain, I came to trust him like a father. In our last conversation he shared with me the fact that he decided not to undergo Chemotherapy while in the hospital.  I refused to consider that he was telling me his time had come. Denial, as you know, is one of the first phases of dealing with grief. Ironically, as I checked my last email to him regarding Hotspots business, the subject line was “time to relax.” God knows, I did not want him to take it literally by going to his eternal resting place.  

William Calcaterra, aka Pompano Bill, was born on January 12th, 1926 in Norway, Michigan.  He had a normal childhood, however, as he matured, he realized that he was different.  Back then the word gay wasn’t used, instead the word was “queer.”  Growing up in such a small town of 3,728 people, he kept his difference suppressed.

He graduated high school in June of 1944 and was immediately inducted into the Navy, attended Radio Operator School in Madison, Wisconsin and was assigned to a ship in the Pacific Theatre.  World War II ended and he returned to the U.S. 

While still on active duty and stationed in San Francisco he stumbled into a bar on Market Street, not realizing it was a bar frequented by homosexuals, and was invited out for cocktails at the Saint Francis Hotel and treated to a weekend of fun and luxury. He saw that gentleman again during the week. Although he said the experience was amazing, shortly afterwards he got his discharge papers and returned home, where he again went into suppressing his desires.   A year later, with the GI Bill, he went to Ferris State College and then moved to Detroit and completed his education at the Detroit Institute of Technology.  It was in Detroit that he really discovered gay life. 

While in Detroit he had his first relationship, which ended due to his partner being drafted for the Korean War.  After graduating from college, he joined IBM (which Bill says stands for I’ve been moved) in 1951, where he stayed until retirement 36 years later in 1987. During his employment at IBM he made his way up to middle management and was transferred to many places throughout the country.

Eventually, Bill had the good sense to move to the Florida.  After a few years he became bored and bought a camera.  In 1992 he started his second career as a photographer and was published as Pompano Bill in Scoop Magazine. Since then he has worked for Outlook, Buzz, 411, Express, The Blade and, for the last dozen years or so he was very happy shooting exclusively for Hotspots Magazine. Over the years he has accumulated tens of thousands of pictures, which have become his life, he says they are like his friends. He had all his old photos organized in shoe boxes and digital images were stored on 2 computers.  He often wondered what the stories were behind some of the people he captured on film when he looked back at them.  As many of you know, Pompano Bill had a huge heart and donated much of his time to charities including Poverello, Tuesdays Angels, Broward House, The Pride Center and so many others. 

Scott Holland once asked Pompano Bill:  What are the benefits of living longer?

Bill replied: “You can teach an old dog new tricks, outliving a few assholes, the ability to meet and enjoy younger people…especially those that like to hear about gay history that I experienced.” 

A CELEBRATION OF LIFE

Many have asked if funeral or memorial services will be taking place.  One of Bill’s closest friends, Toni Barone, reminded me that he did not want anything special or grandiose after his passing.   It is our understanding that a few family members will be arriving to discuss plans and we will announce the outcome of their decision the moment it happens.  One thing is certain, if a celebration of life takes place, it will be one to remember!

Now, I find myself trying to fill yet, another hole in my heart…

A special thanks goes to Scott Holland for contributing the biographical content of this article

From a Grateful Community

Last week, our community lost an icon and friend.  Bill touch many lives over the decades as he served our community, not only as a photographer but as a mentor and friend to many.  With so many condolences still pouring in, we thought the best way to communicate our feelings just was to capture a few comments that capture the essence of a man who was loved and admired by so many:  

Brad Casey: Dear Friend

It has been a day of reflection on my 27 year of friendship and association with Bill Calcaterra, Pompano Bill. It’s been a difficult day but I am at peace with his passing. Both Pompano and I knew his day of crossing the Rainbow were near. He was tired of fighting Cancer and loosing his eyesight. He now can see clearly and can rest. Thank You Pompano Bill for an amazing 27 years.

Richard Gray:  Greater Fort Lauderdale CVB

He was an amazing man with an incredible zest for life.

Michael Goodman:  Public Relations

He was so much a part of our community. I have very fond memories of him. He left his mark.

Billy Sand: Friend

R I P. Will always love him

Stephen R. Lang: Co-worker and dear friend

I don’t know what exactly to say and I have loved this man since the second time I met him. [The first time he did his groping thing.] We have had a wild ride standing next to   and he ALWAYS looked out for me and making sure I was getting my shots and doing my job. I remember one of his BIGGEST warning about nightclubs was the smoke and how he got some sort of Cancer from it. He was a Trooper and loved my many–including myself. Una famiglia italiana e un dono di Dio.

Michael Albetta: Broward Sherriff Community Liaison

Memories captured from my dear good friend who now rests in Heaven, William “Bill” Calcaterra aka POMPANO BILL.. Our beloved LGBT community will miss him more than we think. Let’s honor one last request from Pompano Bill: GET OUT TO VOTE AND VOTE DEMOCRATIC!

Jose Javier: Friend

I think every gay man in South Florida has a picture taken by him. I never got a chance to have a long conversation with him, but the short chat after he had taken a picture where always nice. Will be missed. Rest in peace Pompano Bill Calcaterra.

Mike Trottier:  Co-worker and dear friend

Pompano Bill…You can rest now my friend. Miss you already Peanut Butter!

Row lliescu:  Equality Florida

Don’t be sad! Of course, we will miss you, Pompano Bill—but what a life you lived–an example to all of us to seize the day and make the most of every situation–or so it seemed. Indeed, the place won’t be the same without you, but it’s immeasurably better because of you. I look forward to celebrating your life with the throngs who adored you.

Steven Walker: Friend

I was in two of his photos in Hotspots Magazine. One all dressed up at The Opera Broward Center, the other less put together in the pool at Inn Leather-tee hee!

Ken Evans:  Our Fund

Sad to learn of the passing of Pompano Bill. A wonderful friend to so many of us in the LGBTQ community. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bill without a smile or his camera ready to take that perfect shot. He will be greatly missed by our community. Thank you for all the memories Pompano…Rest In Peace good friend.

Howard Andrew: Talent Scout

I found myself driving to Pompanos Bills house today, and sitting in the car outside of his home. Shaking my head for not stopping by earlier, and for always saying I’ll stop by tomorrow I’ll stop by tomorrow I’ll stop by tomorrow. We’ll, tomorrow has come and Bill has gone. Don’t wait to see friends and loved ones…. Don’t miss the chance to tell someone you love them. Life is short….. Rip Bill

Robin Bodiford:  Attorney

I loved Pompano Bill. He had such a wonderful vibe and over the years such a big part of our community and also chronicled our community.

Kevin Clevenger, Poverello

Rest in peace Pompano Bill

Kenneth Flood: The Pub

So sad to hear of the passing of Pompano Bill Calcaterra. I have known this man pretty much since day one when I first moved to Fort Lauderdale. He was such a kind wonderful man. He always greeted me with a Hug & a Kiss(or three,LOL). I am saddened by the loss of this man, a treasure, R.I.P. my friend.

Daniel Curtis:  Friend

I’m celebrating the life of my friend Mr Pompano Bill Calcaterra.

The Snapchat & Instagram of his time from the Golden Cost to the Golf Cost South Florida has been best pictured by you!

I’ll lend you my ear anytime! Thank you for for your gifts the smiles & magic in our memories! You’re having a great time in the afterlife this I’m sure! Salute and cheers my friend…

Jim Libonati:  Friend and former Hotspots Executive

I miss him very much; like others we had a great history as friends, and he was once my neighbor back in the late 80’s… RIP My dear Friend!

Gary Resnick: Mayor, Wilton Manors

“Our community has lost an Icon and a loving man who gave so much to so many”

Toni Barone: Close Friend, Community Leader

“How do you say goodbye to such an Icon?  Our community will come together and heal but right now, we are still coming to terms with our loss.  

Steve and Zak:  Owners of Ramrod

We grieve the sudden loss of a long-time community member and dear friend

Michael Murphy:  Photographer

I’m not sure how to express my love for Pompano, my own shortened nickname, in a paragraph. Over 25 years of sharing great images with one another, playfully bumping each other while shooting, comparing butts and bulges and yes telling secrets. I’m grateful that he had the best life, surrounded by so many people that loved him and that he loved even more. Many of us forget that when he was young and gay, he couldn’t be out.

So, his last 25 years, the 25 I got to enjoy alongside of him, truly were his Golden Years and he lived every minute to the fullest!  I love you Pompano!

Watch for next week’s edition of Hotspots for a special photographic retrospective of Pompano Bill’s life and legacy.

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/25/community-celebrates-pompano-bill/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/10/community-celebrates-pompano-bill.html

[hotspotsmagazine]

Community Celebrates Pompano Bill

Pompano Bill

1926 – 2018

Like so many other, I was deeply affected when I heard that Pompano Bill had passed away.  At first, I went into a deep silence and just wanted to be alone to collect my thoughts. A sense of calm overcame me as I thought that Bill had just ended a spectacular journey we call life on earth.  Bill and I often talked about our community, politics and of course, gossip. One thing is certain, I came to trust him like a father. In our last conversation he shared with me the fact that he decided not to undergo Chemotherapy while in the hospital.  I refused to consider that he was telling me his time had come. Denial, as you know, is one of the first phases of dealing with grief. Ironically, as I checked my last email to him regarding Hotspots business, the subject line was “time to relax.” God knows, I did not want him to take it literally by going to his eternal resting place.  

William Calcaterra, aka Pompano Bill, was born on January 12th, 1926 in Norway, Michigan.  He had a normal childhood, however, as he matured, he realized that he was different.  Back then the word gay wasn’t used, instead the word was “queer.”  Growing up in such a small town of 3,728 people, he kept his difference suppressed.

He graduated high school in June of 1944 and was immediately inducted into the Navy, attended Radio Operator School in Madison, Wisconsin and was assigned to a ship in the Pacific Theatre.  World War II ended and he returned to the U.S. 

While still on active duty and stationed in San Francisco he stumbled into a bar on Market Street, not realizing it was a bar frequented by homosexuals, and was invited out for cocktails at the Saint Francis Hotel and treated to a weekend of fun and luxury. He saw that gentleman again during the week. Although he said the experience was amazing, shortly afterwards he got his discharge papers and returned home, where he again went into suppressing his desires.   A year later, with the GI Bill, he went to Ferris State College and then moved to Detroit and completed his education at the Detroit Institute of Technology.  It was in Detroit that he really discovered gay life. 

While in Detroit he had his first relationship, which ended due to his partner being drafted for the Korean War.  After graduating from college, he joined IBM (which Bill says stands for I’ve been moved) in 1951, where he stayed until retirement 36 years later in 1987. During his employment at IBM he made his way up to middle management and was transferred to many places throughout the country.

Eventually, Bill had the good sense to move to the Florida.  After a few years he became bored and bought a camera.  In 1992 he started his second career as a photographer and was published as Pompano Bill in Scoop Magazine. Since then he has worked for Outlook, Buzz, 411, Express, The Blade and, for the last dozen years or so he was very happy shooting exclusively for Hotspots Magazine. Over the years he has accumulated tens of thousands of pictures, which have become his life, he says they are like his friends. He had all his old photos organized in shoe boxes and digital images were stored on 2 computers.  He often wondered what the stories were behind some of the people he captured on film when he looked back at them.  As many of you know, Pompano Bill had a huge heart and donated much of his time to charities including Poverello, Tuesdays Angels, Broward House, The Pride Center and so many others. 

Scott Holland once asked Pompano Bill:  What are the benefits of living longer?

Bill replied: “You can teach an old dog new tricks, outliving a few assholes, the ability to meet and enjoy younger people…especially those that like to hear about gay history that I experienced.” 

A CELEBRATION OF LIFE

Many have asked if funeral or memorial services will be taking place.  One of Bill’s closest friends, Toni Barone, reminded me that he did not want anything special or grandiose after his passing.   It is our understanding that a few family members will be arriving to discuss plans and we will announce the outcome of their decision the moment it happens.  One thing is certain, if a celebration of life takes place, it will be one to remember!

Now, I find myself trying to fill yet, another hole in my heart…

A special thanks goes to Scott Holland for contributing the biographical content of this article

From a Grateful Community

Last week, our community lost an icon and friend.  Bill touch many lives over the decades as he served our community, not only as a photographer but as a mentor and friend to many.  With so many condolences still pouring in, we thought the best way to communicate our feelings just was to capture a few comments that capture the essence of a man who was loved and admired by so many:  

Brad Casey: Dear Friend

It has been a day of reflection on my 27 year of friendship and association with Bill Calcaterra, Pompano Bill. It’s been a difficult day but I am at peace with his passing. Both Pompano and I knew his day of crossing the Rainbow were near. He was tired of fighting Cancer and loosing his eyesight. He now can see clearly and can rest. Thank You Pompano Bill for an amazing 27 years.

Richard Gray:  Greater Fort Lauderdale CVB

He was an amazing man with an incredible zest for life.

Michael Goodman:  Public Relations

He was so much a part of our community. I have very fond memories of him. He left his mark.

Billy Sand: Friend

R I P. Will always love him

Stephen R. Lang: Co-worker and dear friend

I don’t know what exactly to say and I have loved this man since the second time I met him. [The first time he did his groping thing.] We have had a wild ride standing next to   and he ALWAYS looked out for me and making sure I was getting my shots and doing my job. I remember one of his BIGGEST warning about nightclubs was the smoke and how he got some sort of Cancer from it. He was a Trooper and loved my many–including myself. Una famiglia italiana e un dono di Dio.

Michael Albetta: Broward Sherriff Community Liaison

Memories captured from my dear good friend who now rests in Heaven, William “Bill” Calcaterra aka POMPANO BILL.. Our beloved LGBT community will miss him more than we think. Let’s honor one last request from Pompano Bill: GET OUT TO VOTE AND VOTE DEMOCRATIC!

Jose Javier: Friend

I think every gay man in South Florida has a picture taken by him. I never got a chance to have a long conversation with him, but the short chat after he had taken a picture where always nice. Will be missed. Rest in peace Pompano Bill Calcaterra.

Mike Trottier:  Co-worker and dear friend

Pompano Bill…You can rest now my friend. Miss you already Peanut Butter!

Row lliescu:  Equality Florida

Don’t be sad! Of course, we will miss you, Pompano Bill—but what a life you lived–an example to all of us to seize the day and make the most of every situation–or so it seemed. Indeed, the place won’t be the same without you, but it’s immeasurably better because of you. I look forward to celebrating your life with the throngs who adored you.

Steven Walker: Friend

I was in two of his photos in Hotspots Magazine. One all dressed up at The Opera Broward Center, the other less put together in the pool at Inn Leather-tee hee!

Ken Evans:  Our Fund

Sad to learn of the passing of Pompano Bill. A wonderful friend to so many of us in the LGBTQ community. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bill without a smile or his camera ready to take that perfect shot. He will be greatly missed by our community. Thank you for all the memories Pompano…Rest In Peace good friend.

Howard Andrew: Talent Scout

I found myself driving to Pompanos Bills house today, and sitting in the car outside of his home. Shaking my head for not stopping by earlier, and for always saying I’ll stop by tomorrow I’ll stop by tomorrow I’ll stop by tomorrow. We’ll, tomorrow has come and Bill has gone. Don’t wait to see friends and loved ones…. Don’t miss the chance to tell someone you love them. Life is short….. Rip Bill

Robin Bodiford:  Attorney

I loved Pompano Bill. He had such a wonderful vibe and over the years such a big part of our community and also chronicled our community.

Kevin Clevenger, Poverello

Rest in peace Pompano Bill

Kenneth Flood: The Pub

So sad to hear of the passing of Pompano Bill Calcaterra. I have known this man pretty much since day one when I first moved to Fort Lauderdale. He was such a kind wonderful man. He always greeted me with a Hug & a Kiss(or three,LOL). I am saddened by the loss of this man, a treasure, R.I.P. my friend.

Daniel Curtis:  Friend

I’m celebrating the life of my friend Mr Pompano Bill Calcaterra.

The Snapchat & Instagram of his time from the Golden Cost to the Golf Cost South Florida has been best pictured by you!

I’ll lend you my ear anytime! Thank you for for your gifts the smiles & magic in our memories! You’re having a great time in the afterlife this I’m sure! Salute and cheers my friend…

Jim Libonati:  Friend and former Hotspots Executive

I miss him very much; like others we had a great history as friends, and he was once my neighbor back in the late 80’s… RIP My dear Friend!

Gary Resnick: Mayor, Wilton Manors

“Our community has lost an Icon and a loving man who gave so much to so many”

Toni Barone: Close Friend, Community Leader

“How do you say goodbye to such an Icon?  Our community will come together and heal but right now, we are still coming to terms with our loss.  

Steve and Zak:  Owners of Ramrod

We grieve the sudden loss of a long-time community member and dear friend

Michael Murphy:  Photographer

I’m not sure how to express my love for Pompano, my own shortened nickname, in a paragraph. Over 25 years of sharing great images with one another, playfully bumping each other while shooting, comparing butts and bulges and yes telling secrets. I’m grateful that he had the best life, surrounded by so many people that loved him and that he loved even more. Many of us forget that when he was young and gay, he couldn’t be out.

So, his last 25 years, the 25 I got to enjoy alongside of him, truly were his Golden Years and he lived every minute to the fullest!  I love you Pompano!

Watch for next week’s edition of Hotspots for a special photographic retrospective of Pompano Bill’s life and legacy.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/10/25/community-celebrates-pompano-bill/