#if you get this.....youre super smart no cap

[mellowmadds]

Casual Study Dates | Peter Parker

(MCU) Peter Parker/Fem Stark Reader

Warnings - slightly suggestive

Summary - Avenger’s compound a usually busy place hustling with activity seems unusually quiet for the day. leaving y/n and Peter in a sticky situation (pun intended)

Word Count: 1,237

°°••....••°°

Avenger’s Compound, a place that’s usually bustling with activities and combat training sometime’s has quiet days like this where super-powered humans who have insanely intense hearing can hear a pin drop from across campus. For you though being one of the youngest on the team you hated those days because it seemed as if everybody always wanted to see what you were up to. You weren’t necessarily an avenger but you were extremely smart and helped out around the lab and worked on some Stark Industries projects with your dad every once and a while. And that’s how you met Peter Parker and during those first two years of awkward conversations and study dates you two seemed to find some comfort in all that awkwardness.

“Are you nervous about MIT sending out their decisions soon?” Peter asked while getting comfortable on your bed while staring out at the beautiful city view.

“Why would I be nervous Peter? Most of my family are MIT Alumni.” You said a bit cocky if you really think about it.

“I- know it’s just I figured maybe you’d be experiencing the same nerves I was. It was a stupid question nevermind sorry” Peter stuttered out.

“You don’t have to be sorry Peter and you definitely don’t have to worry my dad put in a good word about you. You’re one hundred percent getting into MIT” You told him confidently.

You knew Peter was an anxious person and you’d do anything to take his nerves away.

“Now are we going to keep stressing about MIT or are we going to figure out these formulas that Bruce gave us to solve?” You asked while holding up the stack of papers labeled ‘Top Secret Formulas’.

Peter nodded his head yes while lifting his body off your bed to instead sit on the edge of the bed closer to your desk where all of your work was scattered across your laptop.

“But first I need to put some music on or else I won’t be able to focus” You said before sliding the miscellaneous papers off your laptop.

“That’s the Stark in you talking, how can you focus better with music blasting in your ears?” Peter asked while laughing.

“I guess you are right, that is a classic trait of my dads. But it just helps me focus better. I don't know, I can't explain it.” You turned on your playlist before flipping to the first page of the stack of formulas Bruce assigned you to solve.

Your speaker was loud but who cares it’s not like anyone cared or was listening everyone was off doing their own things. The first few songs were upbeat and fun but the farther you got into your playlist the more guilty pleasure songs started playing, but Peter didn’t mind he was blocking out the music anyways so he could focus better on the formulas in front of him. What you didn’t know was that Steve and Nat were standing outside your room listening.

“Knee deep where? doing what?” Steve said worriedly looking over at Nat.

“It’s just a song Steve stop being so old-school” Nat smirked back at him.

“But Peter’s in there with her, what if they aren’t actually studying?” Steve asked as any worried uncle would.

“The song is talking about having relations in the bathroom during dinner time, that’s not appropriate Nat” Steve said firmly not accepting any excuse now.

Nat wasn’t interested in continuing this conversation any further and started walking toward the living quarters where there sat Bucky, Clint, Bruce and of course Tony.

“What’s got you so tense Cap? Your boyfriends right here if you have to relieve some tension” Tony laughed making fun of Steve and Bucky’s unusual bromance.

“I think you should worry more about what your daughter and Peter are doing upstairs” Steve said, crossing his arms.

“What? What are you talking about Cap? His vigilant ass better not be corrupting my innocent perfect daughter” Tony angrily stated as his face turned a shade of red nobody expected.

“They are listening to a song about having relations in the car and bathroom” Steve said pointing upstairs to your room.

“And you didn’t shut it down the moment you heard that? What kind of uncle are you?” Tony asked running up the stairs to take a listen for himself.

“Oh my gosh the lyrics are filthy but it sounds so calming, how does an artist achieve that?” Tony muttered under his breath before harshly knocking on your bedroom door and bursting in unannounced.

“What’s going on here?” Tony yelled loudly only to be met with a view of you sitting at your desk and Peter sitting on your bed leaning against the headboard with a textbook and stack of papers sitting on his lap.

“What dad? We are busy figuring out the formulas Bruce gave us. Why the hell is everyone crowding outside my room?” You asked, pointing towards Steve, Bucky, Nat, Clint and Bruce all huddling in a circle outside your bedroom door.

“Well we heard the song you guys were listening to and were a bit concerned. You guys aren’t acting on those lyrics are you? You guys better not be under my roof” Tony questioned with a look of disgust on his face.

“What the hell are you going on about dad?” You asked looking over at Peter who looked like he'd seen a ghost.

“Are you guys having sexual relations?” Tony asked in disgust as your playlist suddenly skipped to the next song which would make your case even worse.

“Head so good, she's an honor roll she’ll ride your what like a carnival?” Tony repeated the lyrics.

“I am on the honor roll though, so it’s not entirely a lie” You replied back smirking like a smartass.

“This is not a laughing matter young lady, we are talking about something serious here, answer my question right now” Tony stated with a straight face not joking around anymore.

“Yeah we are and what about it?” You said, shrugging your shoulders.

“Y/n not in front of everybody” Peter said shyly.

“Who cares Peter they were going to find out sooner or later anyways, might as well just tell them now” You said looking back at everyone’s shocked faces. As you looked past your father behind him stood Bucky handing Clint a ten dollar bill.

“You guys had a bet going on about us?” Peter asked, looking back and forth between them but also keeping one eye on Tony just in case he might try to kill him.

“This conversation is not over and from now on this door stays open” Tony said sternly ignoring all the giggles and snarky remarks coming from his fellow avengers. Your playlist then starts playing a different song which lightens up the mood just a little.

“This one has a dance to go along with it, watch H-O-T-T-O-G-O it’s like the YMCA'' You said while doing the dance.

“I like doing the YMCA” Steve said, smiling now entering your room.

“Of course you do because you're ancient” Peter said jokingly.

As you can expect you didn’t think you’d be ending your day teaching Steve Rogers the Hot To Go dance however you wouldn’t trade the quiet days at the compound for anything because at the end of the day you’re just one big family and you wouldn’t trade them for the world.

[fatbiatchforever]

Lies (Pt. 2)

Just wanna quickly say thanks to everyone who liked the previous one and all the support. Hope you guys like this one and feel better lol.

Taglist: @sapphirebarnes @mrsnikstan

"Bucky?"

You rubbed your eyes to adjust to the light seeping in from the hallway and let out a yawn.

Bucky smirked as he leaned against the door frame. "Someone's excited to see me."

"No, no, I am." You pulled on his wrist and opened the door wider to let him in. You chuckled as you turned back, noticing Bucky's eyes darting around the room before finally settling on you. "First time in your own home?"

Bucky's tense face softened into a shy smile. "Just missed the place."

You closed the distance between, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your lips softly against his. "Not me?"

Bucky's hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer. His breath was warm against your face. "I could show you how much I missed you."

Leo's barks startled you, causing you to jump out of Bucky's hold. By the looks of it, Bucky was just as taken aback.

You walked over to your dog to soothe him. "Leo, it's okay, it's Buck." But Leo wasn’t having it; he lunged toward Bucky, his barking getting louder by the second. It stopped only when Bucky pushed him down and muffled his mouth.

"BUCKY!" you screamed, immediately trying to push him away from Leo. But what were you against a super soldier? Especially when Bucky’s eyes had that eerie focus that scared you. Leo's whimpers filled the apartment, along with your pleas. "Bucky, please, stop, you're hurting him."

As though Bucky snapped out of a trance, he stepped back, walking away from you and your dog. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that."

You gently lifted Leo's face, searching for any scratches or injuries that Bucky's metal arm might have caused. Leo got up and hid behind you, his whimpers breaking your heart. "Why would you do that, Bucky?"

Bucky gulped and looked down. "His barks were ringing in my ears."

You took a deep breath, balling your shaking hands into fists. "I don’t know, Leo never acts this way. He's always so happy to see you."

You noticed Leo walking to the side of the couch, where he usually hid when Bucky wanted to take him out for morning walks.

"You still shouldn't have done that," you hissed at Bucky.

Bucky nodded before walking to your room and closing the door behind him.

---

It had been a few days since Bucky returned. He seemed fine after a shower, almost like the incident had never happened. Leo stayed away from Bucky every chance he got, even though Bucky tried everything to get closer to him.

Still, it was so unlike him in every way. He was always quiet, but since he’d been back, he’d been even more silent. Whenever you caught a glimpse of him, he seemed frustrated, but the moment he noticed your gaze, his eyes would light up and his lips would curve into a smile. His usual kisses and lingering looks felt heavier than usual. 

You wanted to chalk it up to the aftereffects of a tough mission and him trying to hide it from you, but you needed to know what was going on. So you went to your main source.

"Sam!"

You hugged him, then stepped back to look at his outfit. "Why are you in a suit? I'm not pitching you another Captain America Lube Line."

Sam sighed. "And thank God for that. I need to be at an event in an hour, and they said I needed to look smart. When do I not look smart?"

"Uhm, probably when you agreed to a Captain America Lube Line. There were just so many options."

"I didn’t agree to it; my assistant did. How many times do I have to say it before you guys believe me?"

You laughed. "Thanks for coming."

Sam straightened up in his chair. "Of course. Why your office, though?"

"Only place I don’t have to worry about Cap fans or Bucky. Would’ve called, but I know better than to ask about missions over the phone."

"What did he do?"

You sighed. "Nothing, really. He had a freak-out with Leo, but after that, he's been fine. It's probably nothing, and I'm worried for no reason, but..."

"If he’s not okay, he’ll try his best to hide it from you," Sam interrupted.

You nodded.

"The mission was good. Everything went well, and he seemed fine."

You let out a shaky breath. "Okay. I was afraid you’d say that."

Concern etched onto Sam’s face. "Afraid?"

You looked up at him. "I know he looks fine and is acting fine too, but something feels off, Sam. It’s just frustrating that I can’t figure it out. It’s frustrating that Bucky seems to be putting on a show."

"Did you talk to him?"

You scoffed. "Obviously, but he said he’s fine. Everything’s good. He lost his house keys too."

"Y/N—"

"Sam, I know it could happen to anyone, but Bucky knows where his spare key is. When I asked him about the keys, he didn’t even mention thinking about getting the spare one."

Before you could spiral further, Sam stopped you. "He probably forgot about it. All of us forget things, that’s normal. Bucky does have hard times after missions. It could be that, or he’ll end up telling you what’s wrong in a day or two. You’ve just got to let him come to you."

You nodded. "Yeah, you’re right."

Sam sighed. "Listen, if you’re worried, I’ll talk to him tomorrow, see if anything seems weird to me."

You smiled. "Thank you, really."

"Of course. Let me know if there’s anything else you need me for. I need to leave to look 'smart.'"

You laughed. "I’m sure you can pull it off."

"If you need me, you know you can—"

"Yep, yep, I know."

---

"Y/N?"

You turned to the voice at the door and smiled. "Hey."

"Hey, what are you doing?"

You wiped your hands on the side of your apron and walked toward him. "I made dinner for us. Thought I'd surprise you with a home date."

You laughed at Bucky's confused look before guiding him to his chair.

"I know things have been weird since you came back. I just want us to forget about the weirdness and go back to the way things were."

Bucky smiled before he pulled you to sit on his lap. "I want that too. I love you." Just as he leaned in for a kiss, you pulled away. "Sorry, the steak’s going to burn."

You rushed back to the stove and plated everything. Bucky opened a bottle of wine as you placed the plates on the table and sat across from him.

"This looks amazing, sweetheart," Bucky praised.

"Dig in!"

You watched as Bucky took his first bite and sighed in delight. "Mmm, so good."

You laughed. "You're so silly."

You both ate in silence, exchanging shy smiles each time one of you caught the other staring.

"You know, you still haven’t told me any stories from the mission. You always love telling me about them." You pouted.

Bucky intertwined his fingers with yours. "I'm sorry, must have slipped my mind. The mission was good. I got all the intel I needed. Hydra was a bitch as usual, surprise, surprise."

You laughed when Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Do you remember me talking about Triple S?" Bucky asked.

You shook your head.

"Ah, well, they’re trying to do something with the super soldier serum again."

You nodded and finished your glass of wine. "Want more?" you asked as you got up to get another bottle. "Nah, I’m fine."

You retrieved another bottle from the fridge and opened it. "You're a good Bucky."

Bucky laughed. "A good Bucky? You're already slurring your words, sweetheart. Should you be drinking more?"

You shook your head and pointed at him. "No, I meant what I said. You look just like him."

The drop in his expression sent a chill down your spine.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about." The change in his tone was alarming, but you knew you were getting close, so you prodded further.

You laughed. "I know Bucky better than I’ve known anyone my whole life. And if you really were him, you’d know that Bucky would never share mission details with me. Or call me sweetheart."

Your heart pounded as the man stood up, slamming his fists on the table, his eyes burning with anger.

"A plus on the looks, but you’re nothing like my Bucky."

He lunged toward you, his metal fingers wrapping around your neck. "What did you do?" The man who looked just like your husband asked, his tone so low it was easily masked under your heavy breaths. "Tell me where he is."

He laughed as he increased the pressure around your neck. "I know there are people coming, Y/N. Call. Them. Off."

"Tell me where Bucky is," you choked out, your fingers gripping his wrist, trying to focus on your breathing.

"You’re forgetting that I can snap your neck right now." He increased the pressure and pushed you up before slamming you into the wall. You shrieked in pain, feeling the blood trickling down your face. "Even if they find him, he’ll come back to find his wife long gone. Do you want that? Do you want your husband to find you torn apart limb for limb, huh?"

Before you could reply, you heard a crash, and you fell to the floor. You slumped against the wall, gasping for breath, barely able to see as blood clouded your vision, and all the noise around you made you dizzier.

Your body felt weak, your head pounding with pain. You struggled to keep your eyes open. You heard Sam’s voice. You heard him calling your name as if he were miles away, but you could see bits of him in your blurred vision.

Before you slipped into unconsciousness, all you could manage to say was, "We have to find Bucky."

[tryingtograspctrl]

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU: EVAN “BUCK” BUCKLEY X BLACK PLUS SIZE READER

SUMMARY: Buck doesn't seem to like you very much and you don't understand why. One day you get injured on a call and he doesn't hesitate to give you an earful which turns into an argument that helps you finally understand why he acts the way he does.

Warning: Mentions of discriminations, mentions of workplace abuse, mentions of injuries and blood, etc.

When you decided to pursue a career in firefighting you knew you'd face some hardships. You were a fat black woman in a white male dominated field, of course you would.

You experienced your fair share of discrimination when you started working at your first firehouse, the nasty comments about your looks from your coworkers, the mistreatment from your boss, everyone excluding you from calls suggesting that you stay at the station instead, that you'd be of more use scrubbing the truck or washing the dishes.

After months of abuse you requested to be transferred and your wish was granted.

Your first day at the 118 felt like a fever dream, when you had arrived you were greeted by nothing but warm, welcoming faces, people eager to accommodate you, excited to get to know you.

You felt safe, a feeling that had become foreign to you when you first became a firefighter. You had finally found a place that you could call home, finally found a team that you considered family.

Well... almost

You got along well with everyone, they were all super nice and understanding as you settled into the new environment, coaching you through your first few days.

Buck on the other hand was a real jerk.

From the moment you arrived he was extremely rude, micromanaging everything you did, critiquing your every move, bossing you around as if he was captain.

At first you thought it was some sort of hazing from him, a "let's pick on the new firefighter" sort of thing but as time passed you realized that his behavior towards you was no playful initiation.

"Hey probie, you're rolling that hose all wrong, move let me show you how to do it." He nudged you slightly, irritation evident in his voice.

You stood, wiping the dust off your knees, shooting him a glare.

"You always want to keep it wound as tight as possible, got it?" He looked up at you, raising a brow.

"Got it Buckley." You forced a smile.

This had been going on for weeks now, wherever you went he was sure to follow, breathing down your neck, waiting for you to make a mistake so he could swoop in and correct you, so he could make you feel like a kid.

You finished getting suited up, your helmet under your arm as you rushed toward the firetruck, climbing up into one of the seats.

There was a call involving a plane crash at a hair salon, sparks igniting and interacting with the many chemicals in the place causing a fire.

"Hen, Chim, you check on these guys, Eddie you grab the hose and knock this fire down, Buck, Y/n, you guys head inside and see if there's anyone trapped beneath the rubble." Bobby fired off orders.

"Got it Cap." You adjusted your helmet but just before you could trek toward the building Buck stopped you.

"Wait she's not going in there." He held out an arm in front of you.

"And why the hell not?" You furrowed your brows, a frown tugging at your lips.

"Because you aren't experienced enough." He glared down at you.

"I've been trained for this just like you have Buckley i know what i'm doing, and who are you to tell me what i can and can't do?!." You crossed your arms getting into his face.

He leaned closer, getting into yours too, a smart remark on the tip of his tongue but just before he could retort Bobby interrupted.

"Hey! Cut it out before i make both of you wait in the truck. Buck she's going in with you and that's final.” He scolded the two of you.

You both nodded, rushing toward the salon, the roof of the building slightly caved in.

Eddie had already put the fire out so you didn't have to worry about that.

"Help." A voice called out as you entered.

The woman seemed to have been sitting in one of the chairs just before the building collapsed, you could tell because it was glued to her back, a part of the ceiling pinning it against her body.

Another woman was just a few feet away from her on her side, a pair of scissors lodged into her neck.

You and Buck shared a look of horror before you got to work, pulling the heavy rubble off of her.

From the outside she didn't seem to sustain any injuries but you could tell by the way she reacted to being lifted up that she definitely had a few broken bones.

You and Buck got her outside, he led her toward the fire truck and you looked around, noticing a woman hysterically yelling at Hen.

"What's going on?" You jogged over.

"It's my daughter! My daughter was in there getting her hair dyed, i stepped out for a moment to take a call and i came back a-and i couldn't find her!" She sobbed.

"What's your daughter's name and what does she look like ma'am?" You crotched next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hailey, I have a picture." She sniffled pulling out her phone.

You studied it, committing the girls features to memory, she wasn't scissor lady thankfully so you wouldn't have to break any bad news to her.

"I'm gonna find her." You squeezed the woman's shoulder before running back toward the building.

You and Buck had pretty much cleared the front of the building so you figured the best place to find her daughter would be toward the back.

The back of the salon had definitely took the most damage, the ceiling significantly lower causing you to have to get on your hands and knees, clawing at the rubble blocking the back room door.

Once you got inside you did a quick scan of the room, spotting a young girl in the corner unconscious.

You crawled over to her, rolling her onto her back and giving her a sternum rub.

Her eyes fluttered open, blinking a few times as they adjusted to her surroundings.

"Hi Hailey, how are you feeling?" You spoke lowly.

"Like crap." She groaned.

"I bet you are." You laughed lightly.

"Are you hurting anywhere?" You asked.

"My head and my neck are killing me." She explained.

"Okay come on, we're gonna get you outta here, get you checked out and get you back to your mom." You replied.

"My mom? Is she ok?" She sat up suddenly, yelping in pain.

"Okay, okay, let's take it easy yeah? Your mom is doing just fine, she pretty worried about you though so let's get you out of here." You guided her toward the door.

The two of you stood up completely as you made it back to the front but just before you could exit the roof began to fall down completely.

Instinctively you pushed Hailey out of the front door before falling to the floor, the ceiling falling on top of you not even a second later.

You passed out on impact.

Eddie rushed over to grab the girl guiding her over to an ambulance while Buck rushed to the building.

"Shit, Y/n!" He screamed, panic filling him.

He clawed at the debris, throwing chunks of it to the side in an attempt to get to you.

"Buck, buck!" Bobby grabbed his shoulders, pulling him away.

He shook rapidly, tears forming in his eyes as he watched the rest of the team use shovels to try and remove all the rubble from on top of you.

"Hey, let's get you patched up." Hen spoke softly grabbing his wrists.

He looked at her for a moment then looked down at his hands to see them covered in blood.

Hen tugged at his arm, leading him to the ambulance.

Time skip

You groaned placing your hand over your eyes, the bright hospital lights burning them.

You squinted trying to remember how you got here, the last thing your brain registered is leading Hailey out of the back room of the salon, everything after that is a blur.

"Hey." Hen looked up from her phone, noticing that you were now awake.

“Hi.” You smiled gently.

“You scared the hell out of us you know.” She grabbed your hand.

“Sorry about that… i don’t remember much, what happened?” You looked at her slightly confused.

“The building collapsed on top of you y/n, you pushed Hailey out of the way, took the hit for her.” Hen smiled sadly.

“Oh.” You bit your lip, you hated making them worry about you.

“She okay?” You asked after a while.

“She’s fine, just a slight concussion.” She reassured you.

“What about you? Any pain?” She brushed the hair out of your face.

"Lotsss of it, mainly in my back." You half smiled.

"I'll go get the doctor." She pat your hand before exiting.

Buck leaned against the door frame watching you for a moment.

"You okay?" He asked walking over to you stiffly.

"Yeah." You sighed as he took a seat next to your bed.

"Good." He nodded, staring off into space.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He spoke up after a while.

"Seriously Buck? Is that what you came here to do? Argue with me?" You narrowed your eyes at him.

"I came here to talk some sense into you, you act too reckless, throw yourself into things without thinking about the consequences." He rambled.

"If it isn't the pot calling the kettle black." You scoffed rolling your eyes.

"You could've gotten seriously injured or worse." He raised his voice slightly.

"But i didn't! I'm fine Buck, i saved that girl's life, that's my job!" You yelled, getting frustrated.

"Yeah this time you were but what about next time, the next time you decide to make a stupid decision? The next time you decide to sacrifice yourself?" He spoke roughly clenching his jaw.

"Stupid decision? God why are you so critical of everything that i do?" Your voice lowered, eyes searching his for an answer.

"Because i love you!" He shouted.

"I love you and i care about you so deeply and im scared, scared of losing you." He whispered, hanging his head low.

You blinked in surprise. Buck loved you?

"Buck." You went to sit up, groaning at the sudden ache in your limbs.

"You're not gonna lose me." You reached out grabbing his hand.

"You don't know that." He finally looked up at you, tears brimming in his eyes.

"None of us know that, we put our lives on the line every single day, the reality of it is that any one of use could die at any given moment." You lifted his chin.

"But we've made it this far haven't we? Sure we get a few bumps and bruises every now and then and some of us are left clinging to life but we're fighters, i'm a fighter and i've got a family now, i've got something to lose so their’s no way in hell i'm going out that easy." You laughed wiping a few stray tears from his cheeks.

He pulled you into a hug, squeezing tightly, face buried into your shoulder.

“Ouch, Buck by back.” You tapped him repeatedly signaling for him to release you.

“Oh sorry, sorry did i hurt you?” He let go quickly, helping you lay back down.

“Just a little but it’s fine.” You giggled.

“By the way, I love you too Buckley.” You squeezed his hand, smiling brightly.

A/N - Buck being a meanie because he doesn’t trust you enough to accept you just yet, then growing to love you just as much as he does everyone else but still being a meanie because you worry him to death lolll, now he knows how Bobby feels. 🌻

[batwritings]

Hello, could I request a Krüeger (cod) x Military reader who is absolutely terrifying and brutal on the field but actually super nice and even a bit of a push over back at base?

I actually had no idea Krueger existed until my roommate got me to like Nikto and I learned that those two knew each other. Here's hoping I do him justice. ^^; Enjoy!~

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sebastian Krueger was a smart man, not much getting passed his radar unnoticed. Whether it was a tactical maneuver or people's abilities, he had a rather sharp eye. You however, were a bit of an anomaly to him.

On the battlefield, you were what one might refer as a monster. You didn't ever hesitate to brutalize your enemy, leaving little to no chances of survival let alone potential resuscitation. It was as if a beast was hidden beneath your skin and nobody, not even the Austrian himself dared to stand in your way.

Yet, back on base was an entirely different story. It was as if the word "no" wasn't in your vocabulary. Even when you were dogshit tired, ready to pass out where you stood, if someone required your assistance you were there.

It was really starting to grind Krueger's gears quite honestly. You were of no use to the unit if you weren't able to even walk straight from sleep deprivation. He caught you one evening being cornered by a couple cadets asking for your assistance.

You were bordering on walking with them to help when the Austrian man put his hand down onto your shoulder. "They're busy tonight," he says firmly, scowling behind his hood. "Come schatz, it's time for bed."

You don't even have the energy to protest, apologizing weakly over your shoulder to the two cadets as you're led away. Only once Krueger is sure the two of you aren't being followed does he sigh a bit, allowing himself to relax. He leads you to his barracks, helping you out of your fatigues and into more comfortable clothes for sleep. It's one of his old sweaters that practically swallows you and gym shots.

"You need to stop being so lenient," the former corporal admonishes you lightly as he offers you a drink of water from his canteen. You barely manage to grab it solidly enough to drink. "You are no use to us dead."

You chuckle a little as you twist the cap back onto the bottle and offer it back. "Is that a bit of fondness and caring I hear Seb?" you chuckle, worming your way beneath the scratchy blanket of Krueger's bed. "Besides, you and I both know what it's like to be the new kid."

The man sighs softly down at you, jaw shifting in contemplation. "Their newness does not make you the designated teacher meine liebe," his voice is lower, more gentle in here. For as much grief as he gave you for being a bit of a push over, you couldn't help but wonder if he acknowledged the soft spot he held for you.

You were barely registering his words now, far too cozy to fight the onslaught of sleep that was dragging you to it's depths. Krueger smiles softly behind the mesh across his face. He kneels down, pressing an uncharacteristically soft kiss to your temple.

Not like anyone would believe you if you told them anyway.

[aangelinakii]

EMPTY BOTTLES.

— not enough water.

summary : after a strenuous session of training, tim goes for his water bottle, but notices you don't have one. and who is he to not offer you any? only, there's just a few drops left.

not proofread !

sweat beaded down your forehead, chest heavy as you panted out exhausted air. beneath your tank top, your skin ached, both from the heat you'd worked up, and the limbs that throbbed from where tim had struck you.

with a huff, you extended a hand out to your opponent, and he took it graciously with a smile on his face, despite his skin tingling from where he'd been hit, and you pulled him to his feet.

as he pulled his hand from yours, tim brought it up to run a hand through his slick black hair, and approached his water bottle on the bench. less than a quarter left.

he picked up the plastic bottle and inspected it uncertainly, before glancing back at you, where you stood fanning yourself with your hands.

the truth was – not that he would ever admit it – tim had taken a liking to you ever since you began running with the bat and his birds, jumping down from the shadows to help them kick ass and fight crime. from your strength to your smarts, he thought you were super cool. which made it difficult to keep his.

despite his intelligence, tim was not any old cassanova; his romance knowledge was slim to none, but he didn't feel like asking any of those in the family who had more experience. it would be utterly embarrassing to knock on dick's door and say, "hey, how do i get (name) to like me? and how do i tell them i like them? and how do i—"

knowing dick, tim would never get to hear the end of it.

so, he had to come up with his own plan of action. in this case, just be nice – but not too nice – and be himself – but not so much so that you get turned off and think he's a weirdo. seems easy enough.

tim took another glance down into his bottle, at how the few centimetres of water sloshed around at the bottom. not enough for the both of you. maybe this could be his chance, just the beginning of it.

when he looked back up at you, at your panting, sweaty frame, he decided it would be unfair to do anything else. you looked like you could use some aqua.

"hey," he chimed, stepping towards you. when you looked over, eyebrows raised, waiting for him to speak, he thrust the bottle out in front of him. "you can have the rest."

great going, tim, you're like a frigid cow.

your eyes flickered from his face, to the almost-empty bottle, and back. "you sure? there's, like, barely anything left."

"yes," tim answered almost immediately – almost much too quickly, and he inwardly cringed at himself. "here, it's fine. you haven't drank anything this entire time." and he practically pushed the bottle to your chest, giving you no option but to take it from him.

a beat passed, and you watched tim suspiciously. but only for a moment, before you unscrewed the bottle's cap. "i mean, thanks," you hummed, an appreciative smile on your lips, before sipping the rest of the water.

hey, maybe tim had more moves than he accounted himself for. still, he wasn't going to tell dick.

[tarotphlow]

Astro Observations 8

🌻Saturn in the 3H natives tend to have difficulties with phones or cars, whether that be always having a broken phone, or their car literally just not wanting to work for whatever reason

🌻Looking at what sign is located on your 12H could give you insight on to what life was like while you were in the womb. Ex: my 12H is in sag, before I was born my mother would pray constantly for her to have another chance at being a mother, she ended up having a kid with a man from a completely different state. (♐️ rules travel and religion).

🌻Have a big secret you need to get off your chest? Tell a Scorpio Mercury, they will never tell a single soul. I’m friends with a lot of Scorpio Merc’s and it’s amazing how well they can hold they’re water. (Hm, on second thought this might just be for scorp placements in general 🧐)

🌻7H placements how do you do it? Being so desirable to the point that people say they want to marry you without knowing anything about you at all? I just know y’all just smile 😀politely with so many confusing thoughts in y’all’s heads 😭

🌻I’ve noticed cap Venus will always gravitate to dating someone out of their age range.

🌻unlikely duo that actually goes super well with each other is Gemini and Scorpio. I think this has to do with how intelligent both of them are, this combo reminds me of detectives in a way.

🌻with NN going into Aries soon, Libra placements are gonna see a lot of stuff they buried in the distant past come back(like past life stuff 🕰️), probably gonna be a time of relearning some of those old old lessons or just seeing how well you developed since your last life!

🌻Moon in the 3H with a harmonious aspect with Uranus= extremely talented at vidya games 🎮

🌻If you have Gemini in the 6H you should try your hand at an online job, not as a profession but just as a job.

🌻Neptune aspecting your sun could indicate having trouble figuring out what you want to do in life.

🌻Uranus aspecting midheaven seems like you could be either really popular, really really weird or something of the two, but hey at least your smart😭😭

🌻Taurus Is definitely a foodie we know that, but surprisingly Capricorn is also kinda a glutton too lol, I have know idea why but I’ve noticed a lot of caps in my life really live for a good meal lots of savory things and also really really big on desserts as well. They also have sensitive noses, I mean scent is responsible for 80% of our taste so I guess that makes sense.

🌻our brains stop developing at age 25 and become a fully fledged functioning adult with no more growth which is really interesting because the profection year for age 25 is in Taurus which is the sign of stability.

🌻I really feel for Saturn dominants, they really just get the hardest trials out of everyone and expected to just be okay with that, Yk a lot of people say Saturn is gonna reward them and blah blah, but like I feel sometimes they’re trials are kind of unnecessary? Other planet ruled people (besides Scorpios) learn those exact same lessons but less harsher and the reward they get is quite possibly equivalent to Saturns soo idk… I feel like Saturn is just a bit much. (Let’s discuss this I’m curious to know what people have to say 🤓)

End of observations! I hope you all enjoy these as much as I did!

(Likes and reposts are appreciated! 💛)

[donutwatches]

MHA Movie 1- Two Heroes (Two Gay Dads) - part 2/3

So they all get dressed up like they are going to prom and everyone is adorable, but screen capping all of them would take up the whole post. BUT I must include this image right here:

Kirishima packed a suit for his bestie? He really said, 'No worries, bro, I'm not going to let you look stupid at the dance function with your usual tacky grenade hands and baggy pants'.

Is this an extra suit from his closet, or did he BUY a suit for Bakugo? He's giving him a suit with a floral print, with roses on it. King sh!t.

Melissa made Deku a super useful (if ugly looking) tool to help with his power not breaking his bones. That would have been great to have earlier. Will he only have it for the movie though?

One criticism I have of the movie is that these villains are very generic and boring. Having All Might tied up with this magically strong rope was a contrived way to keep the focus on the kids. I do not care about the plot much. This movie thrives more when it is giving fun character moments.

They got so lost they wandered 84 whole stories in the wrong direction, and have no idea villains have even attacked. Good job boys, getting that lost is a talent.

Why can I hear the James Bond theme playing in the background? They really gave Todoroki the coolest edgy one-liner in this movie. Good for him.

I am not sure how cannon this movie is, but I love the implications that quirk strengthening technology would get confiscated. The powers that be want to stay in control, and they see anything that messes with the power balance of the hero industry as a threat. Some juicy 'hero-society is not so perfect' material there.

Love that Dave fell for "You're worried that villains will hurt people? Nooooo waaaaaay." Davey-o you are meant to be a smart guy, but I guess no one is immune to being stupefied by All Might's thick pecs. I too, would turn to villainy to preserve Toshinori's mountain range-esque muscles.

Dave is stupid for going along with this plan, BUT he is was only made stupid by his true love for his old college babe All Might, so I forgive him. I support gay men's rights and wrongs.

They are shook! I felt genuinely bad for Melissa here. She looks up to her Dad, and her Dad just messed up in the messiest way a mess up can make a mess.

I don't know why Deku looks devastated though, he only knew this guy for 2 minutes. I guess, he is just an empathetic little bean.

...the image speaks for itself...

The sad thing is, is that none of this had to happen if All Might didn't keep OFA a secret from Dave. The entire plot of this movie would not have happened if Dave had been informed that All Might's power could be passed to a successor. All Might being secretive causes more problems than it solves.

Hold up, are the villains going to HURT people, for real? Noooo waaaaaay, who could have seen this coming?!

Part 3 is here

Masterlist

If you want, you can request to be added to the -

TAGLIST:

@blackaquokat @jessiedead @granny-griffin @setfiretotheshadows

@bicheetopuff @hyperfixations-and-cringe @champion-prism

[aurumacadicus]

110 for the ask meme!

To be clear, Steve is still pre-serum size, all the serum did was make him healthy/super-strong. The Propaganda Cap was a hired actor so it wasn't exposed that he's tiny until after the war.

--

Peggy had said she'd find a place for him at SHIELD, but Steve had to wonder what, exactly, that place would be. He felt out of place as he followed her down the halls, like he was taking up space he hadn't earned. He was still smarting from the ring on Peggy's finger, and he couldn't help but feel she was putting him elsewhere because she knew it. 'Once your therapist has given the all clear, we'll reevaluate your position,' she'd said, kindly and compassionately, and clasped her hands on the desk in a way it hid her wedding ring from his eyes.

"So, this... protection detail," Steve tried, slanting her a questioning glance as he finally stepped up beside her.

"Protection detail is the term we're using," Peggy answered, and then, before he could get rankled at the idea that he was being shoehorned into a dummy job, she continued, "Of course, attempts have been made on Anthony's life, but at this point, he's... more of a danger to himself."

Steve scowled, and he leaned forward to make sure she saw it. "So I'm a glorified babysitter."

Peggy coughed, clearly in a way to cover a laugh. "He'll be good for you. He won't pull any of his punches for you like anyone else might because you're Captain America. In fact, he'll probably go out of his way to try and push your buttons."

"You're already harassing me with one of those," Steve grumbled. Clint was friendly enough, but he was also prone to falling out of the vent into Steve's room.

"Anthony is one of a kind," Peggy assured him as they finally approached a door labeled WORKSHOP IV. She swiped her badge, and the doors slid open.

Steve followed her through, already scanning the room. It was wide, filled with tables laden with half-finished equipment, a few weapons. There was a man sitting in a spinning chair and slowly going in circles, who quickly stood up as soon as he realized they had entered. He suspected the man was Anthony. He certainly looked like a scientist, with his crisp white lab coat and askew glasses.

Peggy sighed, loudly. "Where is he, Dr. Banner?"

"I'm certain I have no idea," the man, Dr. Banner apparently, answered promptly. "I've been waiting for him myself. In fact, maybe he actually went to meet me in my lab. We should go check." He began toward the door quickly.

"Where is he, Dr. Banner," Peggy repeated, voice flat, expression sharp, and Steve couldn't help a sympathetic wince as Dr. Banner drew up short and sort of... sagged in defeat.

Dr. Banner turned, somehow trudging those two small steps, and let out a sigh of his own. "I did tell him to wait until I could get a crash mat."

Steve and Peggy immediately looked up. There was a man on the ceiling. It looked like he had plungers on his hands and knees. There was a stack of three forty-five pound weights hanging from a harness he was wearing.

"This isn't what it looks like," the man said after a brief pause. "You can't tell my dad. If you do, I'll tell him state secrets."

"Anthony, you get down from there this instant," Peggy barked, and Steve bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Anthony scowled down at her. "No! I need to make sure these grippers can hold up to four hundred pounds. So far they only handle three-fifty."

"You're over two hundred pounds?" Steve asked skeptically, crossing his arms over his chest. Anthony looked one-eighty at most.

Anthony swiveled his head, not unlike a bird, to turn his scowl on Steve. "I'm svelte. Who the fuck are you?"

Steve sighed, turning his gaze back to Peggy. "It really feels like I'm being punished," he said flatly, but he knew he couldn't quite keep the smile from playing at his lips.

Peggy narrowed her eyes at Anthony. "Well, it's not a great first impression to show that you're not babysitting," she reluctantly agreed. "Anthony, come down, or I'll have Steve get you down."

Anthony looked, somehow, even angrier. "I don't need a babysitter and I was only slightly kidnapped last time so I don't need a bodyguard either."

"How are you only slightly kidnapped," Steve asked, but was drowned out by both Peggy and Dr. Banner shouting at him that he'd also somehow glued himself to the wall so maybe yes he did need a babysitter. He also wanted to know how Anthony glued himself to a wall, but he got the feeling that was something he'd have to get from Clint the next time he fell through his vent instead of from anyone in the room with him currently.

"Steve," Peggy sighed, waving her hand up at him. She glanced at her watch, looking irritated. "I have a meeting with the DOD."

"I'll get him down," Steve assured her.

"Hah!" Anthony crowed. "You're like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?"

"I'm leaving," Peggy said, and then she grabbed Dr. Banner by the arm to lead him out. He didn't look like he needed much encouragement.

Steve turned to the room again, considering, then finally walked over to one of the tables, where it looked like Anthony had been working on a replica of his shield.

"Hey, that's still in trials," Anthony barked.

Steve flipped the shield between his fingers, getting used to the weight, then turned, using the momentum from the spin to fling it full force at Anthony. It bounced off of the row of weights, and they swung wildly to one side, then the other, rocking Anthony and his sticky plungers side to side as he squawked in offense and alarm. Steve walked over to stand below him just as the hand plungers popped free.

"ACK," Anthony squawked as he somersaulted down, knee plungers popping free under the combined weight of Anthony, the weights, and gravity.

Steve caught the strap the weights were attached to as they dropped past him, then lifted his other arm, so Anthony dropped into them neatly. When Anthony only blinked up at him, wide-eyed and hands still held up awkwardly, Steve couldn't help a smirk. "Just because I'm short doesn't mean I'm helpless."

Anthony blinked at him one more time, then scowled again. "Just because you're hot doesn't mean I'm not going to be annoying as hell."

"...What," Steve began, but then Anthony was rolling out of his arms and hefting the stack of weights up so he could stalk off like an offended cat. "What?!" he tried again, but Anthony was muttering about ultimate tensile strength and other ductile materials.

[kremlin]

An earnest call for your support: Help me determine if there is a gas leak in my house.

for a long time now, I have been reading and hearing about This Guy on the news, and have been reading all the articles and stories about him:

Above: Sam, tenting his weird-ass fucked up fingers like a real Wall Street Guy might do in a movie he saw

Yep, you already know this guy, his name is Sam, I'll be referring to him as Sam, as that is his first name, and not by his initials, which is what I imagine a pod person might do in an attempt to emulate human behaviour. Whatever. You already know him and what he did, I won't waste your time. Listen. Pay attention. This is not a post about this guy or what he did. That shit is boring as fuck. This is a post about a potential gas leak in my house. We'll get to that in just a bit. Remember.

I've read all the articles and all the op-eds and everything. About Sam. Let us explore the entire spectrum of media coverage of Sam and Sam's Big Ass Problem, starting from the bottom, with the worm-food-tier jackasses: What do people like Jim Cramer and Shark Tank Guy have to say about him?

Above: CNN's "Mad Money" Jim Cramer also doing a weird hand gesture while he tells your alcoholic cable-news-addicted uncle to put his money in some dumbass shit

Above: I think this is the Shark Tank guy? I don't remember his name. Could have sworn his suit had dollar signs and not question marks (?)

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Sam is a boy genius who is super duper smart and can move objects with his massive brain due to knowing about Tech, FinDom FinTech, and computer money, specifically Money Coding. Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court".

Moving on from the worm-food-tier to the mediocre-tier: The totally nameless basic bitch journalists at the New York Times or Bloomberg. What do these assholes have to say?

Above: Jim Fuckface, associate financial correspondent for Bloomberg. Jim enjoys winding down on a Friday afternoon by sipping a Bud Lite Lime and wearing his baseball cap backwards, which bears the logo of his local professional sports team.

Above: Kate Fuckface, columnist at the New York Times. Kate enjoys spending her time chatting and interacting with her friends on Social Media Platforms like Facebook and Instagram, as well as purchasing items on Etsy

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Displaying the characteristic awkwardness of incredible technical and financial genius, it was clear to me during our interview that Sam's depth of knowledge truly knew no bounds. Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court."

Finally moving on to the people that might actually have a clue about what they're talking about. Sam Levine and Michael Lewis:

Above: Matt Levine, author of a comedy email newsletter named Money Stuff that is 95% financial information by weight and somehow still usually funny as fuck.

Above: Michael Lewis, author of a bunch of really good books you haven't read that were made into pretty decent movies you have seen: Moneyball and The Big Short.

I'll summarize their conclusions: "Sam sure is a smart kid and seems to know a whole lot about economics and this digital currency, and I mean a whole lot, and even more about business, accounting, and finance. Bright kid! Unfortunately Sam committed massive fraud and will get his ass fucked in federal court."

A pretty goddamn clear consensus across the board on both counts.

I listened to the interviews the entire spectrum of people listed above conducted with him -- the ones during which they unanimously concluded how smart he is. I listened to many hours of ad-hoc, unscripted Twitter Space calls he participated in, where he fielded questions about his fraud and his business with complete strangers. I listened to them very carefully. And here is my problem! I came to a different conclusion!

Sam is a fucking moron. I am not talking about solely his intellect, or solely his decision-making abilities, or any specific criteria. I am talking about all of them.

There are two possibilities:

(A) I am correct and, somehow, literally everyone else is incorrect, most of whom know vastly more about these topics than I do

(B) There is a fucking gas leak in my house and I have completely lost all cognitive abilities, suddenly and unwittingly, and exist in a cartoon reality inside my skull that would allow me to reach such a wildly different conclusion from the same evidence.

The likelihood of (A) being correct is very nearly 0%. I mean, come on. I am not fucking around when I tell you how troubling this is for me. I wrote earlier that this isn't a post about Sam or his bullshit. This is a post asking for your help in determining whether I have lost my god damn marbles.

I'll give Sam one thing -- he has some nominal ability to bullshit. If he's writing a Tweet, or making a short statement, he can finesse his words that, on some level, mask how much of a dimwit he is. He absolutely can't do that through about six hours of unscripted interviews. Listen to that shit. Listen.

I am going to go check all the joints in the gas lines in my house as well as the ports on my stove and heater. I'll come back and write a follow-up post on outlining exactly why I think homeboy is an idiot. While I do that, please, go listen to the interviews and tell me what you think.

[starrypen]

hello! i hope you're having a nice day 💕

also, i just fell in love w the way you write, and was wondering if i can request for an specific scenario!! you and jake are friends and have feelings for each other but no one confesses until you end up hooking up at a party 🤨 i thought abt this the whole day but i just know you're gonna write it better! please, and thank you 💗

⋇⊶⊰ BOUND TO HAPPEN ⊱⊷⋇

pairing: crush!jake x fem!reader

genre: smut

summary: a dull college party brings you and your crush closer than ever before. if you cum, you agree to be his girlfriend.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, pet names, oral (receiving), squirt, dom!jake, 2.3k words

a/n: thank u so much for your compliments and for your request <3 i don’t really go to parties so i’m not sure it’s tooooo realistic/accurate, im sorry!!

“i think i just saw jake and his friends walk up your driveway,” you frantically patted at your friends’ arms, waiting, rather impatiently, for one of them to admit that they invited him without telling you.

“it’s cool, y/n, i invited jay and you know that they can’t be separated,” raya’s hand found yours as she spoke. she gave it a tight squeeze before dropping it as three boys walked straight into her kitchen.

“hey, where’s the party at?” one of jay’s friends asked, placing a crate of beer onto the counter. “where is everyone?”

“i said 10,” raya replied, “but who actually arrives at 10?”

“true,” jay responded, continuing the conversation by asking about who he was expecting to see here.

you couldn’t make out any names, all your focus was on the boy to his right. jake. he gave you a friendly smile and a slight wave, one that beckoned you over to him. you grabbed a bottle of beer from the kitchen counter on your way over to him and extended it towards him. he took it with a “thank you,” before grabbing his keys from his jacket pocket and opening the cap. “how have you been? i haven’t seen you in so long,” he joked, knowing you’d shared a lecture together that morning.

“ugh so stressed, there’s this one guy in my class, he’s so annoying!” you snarked back, “jake, i think his name is.”

“nah, i heard he’s super smart and hot, a distraction if anything,” he took a swing of his beer. you mimicked, taking a sip of your drink too. “fuck, what is this shit, tastes rancid!” he pulls it away from his face to read the label, “0%, who brought alcohol free beer to a party?” his eyes landed on the friend of jay’s that had come in shouting, he clicked his tongue and muttered something under his breath. “i genuinely have no idea who that guy is, and i don’t think jay does either,” he laughed, whispering closely into your ear. your hand gripped his arm naturally as he spoke, you were barely able to concentrate on what he said, knowing he was so close to you right now.

“you seriously don’t know him?” you snapped your head around to get another look at the guy, “shouldn’t we like, tell him to leave?”

“nah, no point, looks like he’s already found someone to defend him,” he points over towards the guy again, whose tongue is down raya’s throat.

it’s midnight. the downstairs of raya’s house is full of people, mostly students from your college but some you don’t even recognise. over the last two hours, you realised that the guy who came in with jay and jake was actually the dj that raya had been sleeping with for the past month. he was loud and obnoxiously extroverted, and worst of all, pretty bad at djing.

a hand on the small of your back took you away from the conversation you were having with some people you knew from campus. “we’re playing truth or dare,” jay explained, guiding you to the kitchen, where, thankfully, the music was quieter.

“nah, not really for me,” you replied, turning back on yourself, when you noticed jake. “oh, are you playing?” you asked him, ready to change your mind.

“are you?” he asked back.

“no, she’s being boring!” jay answered for you, leaving you with nothing more to add than an awkward smile.

instead of barging back in on the conversation you were just having with your other friends, you headed to the bathroom upstairs. jake followed quietly. as you went to shut the door, jake slipped into the bathroom with you, only realising once he was actually in the room with you that you probably came in here to use the toilet.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t think this was the uh-” he stuttered his way through the sentence, trying to shut and cover his eyes for no reason.

“no it’s okay i didn’t come in here to,” you coughed in place of the word, “i’m just here to get away from that lot,” you pointed to the floor.

“honestly,” his hand scratched at the back of his head, “i’m kinda bored of this party.”

“me too,” you responded, a little too excitedly as if this was a groundbreaking opinion that you had in common. “shall we go to raya’s room and talk for a bit? or just sit on our phones without being pestered to play some stupid drinking game?”

“yeah, i actually need to tell you something anyway,” he agreed with a shy smile, shuffling into the smallest space possible to let you unlock the door and lead the way, “she won’t mind, right?”

“no, she’s cool with whatever,” you shrug, twisting the door handle and walking into the disaster she calls a room. “don’t mind the mess, 3 girls had to get changed in here earlier!” you explain, as if he’d understand. you propped yourself against her headboard and threw all of the random clothes into the floor. you scurried your feet under the blanket folded at the end of her bed. he joined you after taking off his jacket, resting his head on her pillow, his hands clasped together on his torso. “what did you need to tell me?” you rolled onto your side, your hand sandwiched between your cheek and a pillow.

“oh,” he rolled over to face you, “that guy, leo, he’s the dj.”

your heart sank as he told you, you were kind of hoping for more, and it was definitely clear on your face.

“and also that you look pretty tonight,” he smiled, his hand at your hip, “you always look pretty in fact, i think about how pretty you are all the time.”

you hide your face by burying it into the pillow, “i thought those beers were 0%?”

“i’m being serious y/n,” he clarifies.

you look back at him again. his eyes are filled with sincerity, but it’s hard for you to remain focused on them when your eyes keep falling to his lips. you reassured yourself that it was okay, his eyes were doing the same.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, taking his hand from your hip in favour of tucking a strand of your straightened hair behind your ear.

as he leaned closer, you felt his thumb graze over your lobe a few times. “please,” you whispered.

it seemed to take forever for your lips to finally come together, but when they did, it was everything you’d imagined it to be. he took your bottom lip between his own, enclosing his lips around it more harshly with each kiss. it wasn’t long before your tongues vied to enter the other’s mouth. in the meantime, jake had managed to steady himself on his elbow, soon on top of you, between your legs. you were experienced enough to know exactly where this was going, but that wasn’t what you wanted from this, so you pulled away for a moment.

“jake,” you started, snapping him out of the trance you’d put him in, “i really like you, you know that right?” your hands squeezed as his upper arms.

he melted under your touch. “i do now,” he laughed, “and i really like you too, don’t worry.”

“so, i don’t want this to just be,” you motioned to either side of you both, “just whatever this is.”

“it’s not,” he chuckled before leaning in to give you a small gentle kiss on your lips. another shortly followed, and then a longer one at the corner of your mouth. you played with his hair between your fingers. “baby, you’re already mine,” he commented, kissing your collarbone while tugging at the chest area of your shirt that showed a lot of cleavage. you managed to drop the straps of the top, shaking them off of your arms as jake eagerly tugged at your shirt some more, leaving it be at the middle of your tummy. his kisses trailed over your chest, down to the button on your jeans. “you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he kneels between your legs as he tussles with the denim waistband of his own jeans while you do the same. you undo yours before him and wait for him to take them off for you, which he does along with your panties before even doing his own.

it’s almost as if he forgets to take off his jeans, as he shuffles down the bed with his thumb slowly circling your clit. he replaces his thumb with his plump lips, pressing a small, light kiss against it while your legs try to close in on him. he pulls away, his middle finger lapping your pussy before he gently pushes it in. “if i make you cum tonight, will you be my girlfriend?” his smile is cheeky, but you know jake well enough to know that it’s genuine.

your lips struggle to stay shut as you nod, trying your hardest not to moan under his touch already.

his head ducks again, “good,” he smiles against your clit. his tongue fights the hood of your clit, easily finding the most sensitive part of your body in a matter of seconds. your hand pushes his head further onto you as his tongue works your clit and his fingers curl inside you. you’re not sure when he added another finger, but you’re enjoying it too much to care.

“fuck, jake,” your legs close a little more around his head as you feel a trickle, or maybe a stream, of water run out of you.

“did you just squirt for me, baby?” he looks up at you while biting his lower lip.

“i think,” you laugh awkwardly, “i’ve never done that before!”

“fuck that’s so hot,” his fingers curl inside you one last time before he pulls them out. they’re dripping wet, as you expected. “suck on them princess, make them clean,” he commands. you take the two fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue around them and trying to take more of their length as you would his cock. while you’re sucking on his fingers, jake manages to unbutton his pants to reveal his dick. he pumps it in his hands a few times while removing his jeans before tapping it against your clit.

“do you,” you pause as he hits it against your clit one more time, causing you to shake in pleasure, “do you have a condom?”

he scrambles off the bed, reaching inside his jacket pocket which he threw to the ground and pulling out a small silver tin filled with condoms. he singled one out and opened it up, rolling it onto his dick with the most adorable concentration face. he climbs back into the bed, his hands coming to your sides to flip you over and help you onto all fours in front of him. you back up, your ass against his hard dick, which is enough for jake to know you want it just as much as he does.

with his hand at the base of his cock, he pushes it into you gently, letting you take it all and get used to his girth.

“should i move?” he asks, almost as if he feels guilty for his size.

you hum, it’s the only thing you can do while he’s inside of you, you realise.

he pulls his dick out and pushes it back in again, soon building up to a pace that suits you both. his hand has found your hair, he’s bunched it together and pulled it all back, using it to keep his balance as he fucks you. you help him keep his rhythm, throwing your ass back against him until he stops abruptly.

“turn over, baby, i miss that beautiful face of yours,” he taps your ass as he pulls out of you. a little short of breath, he relaxes back against his heels while you turn over. your hand finds your clit, rubbing it for him to watch. “is that how you like it?” he asks, mentally taking notes. he takes your hand away and places it near to your face, as if he’s asking you to suck on your fingers. he gets to his knees once again and lines himself up with your pussy. his dick misses a few times, which makes him a little mad at himself. you think it’s cute. he finally gets it in with a groan, “shit, you feel so good,” he compliments, leaning on his hand above your head. his lips find your forehead. he places a gentle kiss against it while whispering, “you look so good under me,” before allowing himself to sit upright again. his pace matches the pace he set before, but this time he added rubbing your clit into the equation, just as you showed him only moments ago.

“jake,” your hand rested on his chest while the other gripped at the sheet beneath you, “i’m cumming,” you moaned and winced, your pussy throbbing around him. you felt so vulnerable in that moment, but you knew you were safe with jake.

“you’re such a good girl,” his came close to your face again, taking your lips between his own and then pulling away as the pulsating became less intense around his dick. he began to fuck you again, but a lot sloppier and with more groans than before. he soon pulled out, pulling off the condom and wobbling and kneeling to the side of you in urgency before spraying your tits with his cum. you took your finger to your chest, scraping up what you could before dripping it into your mouth and sucking the rest off your fingers. jake pulled up his boxers and ran to the bathroom you were in earlier that night to grab a towel, the bathroom bin going with a loud clang as he disposed of the condom. he came back and patted your chest with the towel, your face too, all while laughing to himself.

“what’s funny?” you asked, searching for your own underwear with your hand.

“nothing,” he carried on, chuckling away, “you’re just really cute.” you smiled to yourself, sorting out your rolled up shirt with your other hand to cover your chest again. jake tried to help, but unfortunately the only time he can keep his lips off of yours is to kiss your neck, or mumble against it. “even cuter now that you're my girlfriend.”

“guys, why are you in my-” raya covers her eyes as soon as she notices jake is only in his boxers, “not my best sheets, y/n,” she comments with a cry, before shutting the door, leaving the pair of you to laugh about almost getting caught.

[memento-mori-twilight]

Alright, I know everyone and their cousins are all gaga over the Superboy reveal but

Let's talk about that new villain lineup!

And more importantly, how a lot of them are Honest-to-God head scratchers. Well, I have my guesses. As usual, more rambling explaining why is below the cut.

1) Like, Sir to Lex's immediate left, whomst the fuck are you?

You're too old to be an alternative of Clark, don't fit the previous design of Zor-el, still have both eyes unlike Jor-el...

Unless you are an Alternative Jor-el. Like the Fortress AI Jor-el. But even then, the outfit is slightly off since there's no Kryptonian armor (or symbol for that matter) and Jor-el would have no reason to be a threat to either of the Super Crew.

Speaking of AI, could be Eradicator as a more stable construct now that it's no longer one of Brainiac's protocols (echoing how it went from possessor to physical entity in the comics)...but I think someone else in this picture fits that bill.

Maybe it's Zod? But if so, Jesus are they making him look *exactly* like Jor-el, which DC has famously NEVER DONE. Since Zod is often seen as more of a brutish and ruthless character compared to Jor, he's often bulkier in build.

But then again, they've also built Kal's father like a truck in this adaptation so who knows, maybe that hair style was an official military mandate?

2) Speaking of hair, I see that curl on Lex's right.

HI HANK!

Looks like Lex found you after your plane exploded and fixed you up, huh!

Now you're well on your way to becoming Cyborg Superman officially and cementing yourself on the Permanent Superman Hater Squad!

3) Ah Lex! I see your luscious red-brown locks are finally gone. Wonder what caused it? Was it a bad outcome due to an experiment backfire, or are you sick from being around all that Kryptonite for those Metallos for weeks? You looked pretty run down last time we saw you. Maybe some new competition would bring some life back into your face.

4) Maybe another super genius on your level will challenge you? Maybe someone like...

Ultra-humanite! (On the villain screen bottom right)

Yeah I know the popular take on U-H is the super smart white-furred Gorilla with a surgery scar, but that's just his final form. And I think they're gonna pull what they did with Ivo/Parasite with him by only showcasing his final form on the Villains screen (only it looks like they're not going full Gorilla if he still has a human head).

He started out as Superman's oldest archenemy, a mad scientist who was obsessed with getting rich, getting revenge and living forever, predating Lex by a long while! So it will be fun watching Lex bump heads with what is essentially his ancestor until Ultra morphs himself to something beyond human.

5) Speaking of beyond human, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what to make of that creature to Ultra's right.

Is that Ivo/Parasite fully free and morphed into a rabid alien creature? Is that just a normal alien creature?! Is that Dubbilex?! Is it Krypto?!?! I have no Earthly idea!

6) Last but not least on me still being confused, on the bottom left where the League of Lois Lanes used to sit, you will noticed there's a whole new group of people there.

And you will also notice that 2 out of that group of 4 are wearing helmets disgusting their features, but the other 2 aren't.

One looks like Lois in a pageboy cap with a sun and the other looks like Kara.

But wait a minute, it's not our Kara bc she's in the showdown squad at the bottom with the other 3 and that one is still in K-armor with the shoulder pads.

Maybe this is a fully Eradicator-pilled Kara as Brainiac tried to create during the season finale or..

What if the League of Lois' return, this time with their own Kara, but this isn't quite the same take on Kara that we got in Season 2?

What if this is a form of Power Girl Kara?!?

Would make sense for Clark and Kara to have matching brain conflicts meeting Kon-El and Power Girl at the same time, wouldn't it?

Or maybe this is another certain League making their appearance, this time with an Action Lois™ in tow? Maybe this is a glimpse at a version of the Legion of Superheroes, who are initially perceived as a threat until it turns out they're just trying to help?

Possibilities abound!

Those are just my predictions.

I have no idea what to expect for this season or what Josie, Brandon, or Jake have cooked up for us

But I have absolute certainty it's going to be one hell of a ride, and they haven't disappointed us yet!

Can't wait for Season 3!!!

[gaybananabread]

How about Day 30 with Lee!Mystery Twins and Ler!Stan Twins (gravity falls) as a game of hide and seek! I think it’d be super cute!

TickleTober Day 30 - Caught

AAAAA I’M DONE WITH TICKLETOBER!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN! This was a fun way to cap off the event, tapping into my roots! I’m so tired, and it’s definitely gonna be nice to not write over 1k word fics daily. I absolutely adored the event though, it really challenged me as a writer! ANYways, sorry for blabbing on, and I hope everyone stays safe tonight and that you Enjoy!

Lees: Mabel, Dipper

Lers: Stan, Ford

Summary: The Pines family are having an "intense" game of Hide-and-Seek to determine who gets to decorate the Mystery Shack for Halloween. There's an interesting set of rules, with a ticklish twist for whoever gets caught.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

"Dipper, be quiet!"

Mabel whisper-shouted at her brother, sinking further into the pile of stuffed animals. It was the fiercest competition of the century, and she intended to win it.

What had her so determined, you ask? The annual Pines Hide-and-Seek Championship. Well, it was the first year they were doing it, but the technically-teen was going to make sure it carried on.

Downstairs, her Grunkles combed through the house, searching for their great-grand niece and nephew. The Grunkles had half an hour to find them. There was a twist the older men had added, just to make the game more fun. If caught, the kids would be tickled. They didn't really specify a time, figuring it would be best to play things by ear. 

The mystery twins gave no argument. They were determined to win, though the sweater-loving girl was definitely taking things more seriously. For Mabel, that's saying something.

Mabel, being serious? What was so great that she would forgo her usual silliness? Well, something she greatly desired; the winner, whoever they may be, got to dictate the Halloween decorations for the whole Mystery Shack. As long as it was within the budget, anything went.

She was determined to make it the most sparkly, retro, in-your-face crazy Halloween party ever. That meant she had to win. 

Stan rooted through cabinets, looked in couch cushions, even went as far as looking in the outskirts of the woods. He was putting off checking the attic, figuring the kids would be smarter than that. Mabel was always goofy, it wasn’t hard to think her hiding spot would be as well.

Using a gadget, Ford scanned the first floor of the Shack. It was supposed to detect the joy and wonder a child gave off, though he was pretty sure he calibrated something wrong. Still, he searched, hoping it would at least give him some edge. He didn’t want his home covered in glitter, or so scary that even the goat would have nightmares. If Dipper won…well, he wouldn’t actually mind that, but it was the principle of it.

Dipper was hiding up in the rafters, having used Mabel’s grappling hook to secure the spot. They hid together, figuring whoever got caught first could fend for themself. Mabel was rather proud of hers; it was simple enough that they probably wouldn’t look, yet small enough to where she could barely fit, to dissuade her Grunkles. It was pretty perfect.

After twenty minutes of fruitless searching, both old men went up the creaky attic stairs. The twins held their breath, knowing it would be moments before one of them was caught. The door opened, painfully slow, as the pair entered the make-shift bedroom. They could hear the end of Stan’s conversation as he peeked in the closet. “...it’s one of the only spots we haven’t checked, Sixer. One of them’s gotta be here.”

Ford entered a second later, checking under their beds. He was so close that Mabel went completely stiff, refusing to even blink before he stood up. “Those kids are good, I’ll give ‘em that. They’ve got your sneaky skills.” He got a pillow thrown at his head by a chuckling Stan. “Sure, sure. But they’ve got your smarts. I would’ve hid in a closet or somethin’.”

They were so nonchalant about the way they searched for the younger twins. It was like they thought it was a game. Well, everybody but Mabel thought it was.

Dipper looked at Stan, noticing how close he was getting to finding Mabel. He really didn't wanna be the first one caught, but he knew how badly his sister wanted to win. Sighing, he faked a cough, calling the attention of his Grunkles up. The things he did for her…

In seconds, two rough hands wrapped around his waist, yanking him down from his hiding place. “Gotcha!” Dipper barely had enough time to register that he was in Stan’s lap before five clawing fingers dug into his stomach. “G-GRUHUNKLE STAHAHAN!”

Ford chuckled, getting his fun in as well. He scribbled on and under the boy’s knees, all six digits doing something to get him laughing. It was unfairly ticklish. He almost regretted taking the L for Mabel. Almost.

“Hey Dippy, I got a deal for ya. If you tell us where your sister is, we’ll stop.” Oh, those cheaters! Mabel watched with wide eyes and Stan vibrated his clawing fingers into Dipper’s tum, keeping his arms above his head. She knew her brother had thrown his chance for her, but he still had to outlast the old men.

He wriggled and twisted in their arms, refusing to give in so easily; he wasn’t about to lose for nothing. “I- IHI CAHAHAN’T!” Ford snickered, squeezing his knees a bit more vigorously for emphasis. “Oh, but you can. Just say, ‘Oh, Mabel is hiding…’ and then you say it. It’s just that easy.”

So unfair… Dipper whined through his laughter, kicking as much as he could. Maybe a time limit on the tickles would have been a good idea… His Grunkles were obviously enjoying themselves, matching smirks on each of their faces. He didn’t hate it, per say, but it was much harder to stay sane when all three of them could see his reactions. 

It was…actually really nice of him to do that for her. Mabel would have to let Dipper DJ for the party. Waddles might be a little upset, but she was sure her pink companion would prefer snack table duty. 

Stan got a little impatient, deciding to be evil. He moved his bony fingers up to the boy’s armpit, digging into his hollows. Dipper let out a squeal that would put Waddles to shame. “NYAAAAHAHA! STAHAN! NOHO- *snrk* NOHOT THEHEHERE!”

Oooh, he went for Dipper’s bad spot. Mabel bit her lip as she watched her brother’s destruction: Ford teasing his knees while Stan went to town on his pits. She wouldn’t blame him if he gave her up, but dang it, she really wanted to win.

Right as Dipper was about to crack, the Nyan Cat theme song went off. Ford’s phone buzzed in his pocket, signaling that their half-hour was up. Mabel had won!

The girl sprung up from her mound of stuffed animals, startling both of her Grunkles. “HA! I won! Stan, go grab the basement key, I’m gonna make it rain glitter and gummy bears!”

Ford laughed, releasing Dipper’s legs as he watched his grand-niece celebrate. Stan sighed, setting the boy down on the carpet to curl into himself. “Okay, okay, ya won! Don’t need to rub it in, ya snot.”

 She chuckled, moving to hug her giggling brother. “Thanks for taking the loss, bro-bro. I officially crown you Head DJ.” He pumped a weak fist into the air, still giggling away the phantom sensations. Stan shooed her away, placing Dipper in his brother’s arms.

“You go get the dork some water. I’ll handle our winner.” Ford nodded, carrying the exhausted Dipper down the attic stairs. Stan cracked his knuckles before scooping Mabel up in his arms, holding her against his chest. “Congrats, ya snot. Here’s my favorite part of your reward…” 

He squeezed her side, making the sweater lover burst into bubbly giggles. She twisted and squirmed, eyes growing wide. “B-buhut Gruhuhunkle Stahan! Ihi wohohohon!”

He snorted, moving up to tease her ribs. “You did, yeah. Your brother got the worst of it; I’ll go a bit easier on ya. Congrats, you goober.” She whined, protests already forming on her tongue. “Thahat ihisn’t fahair! Sohore loser!”

Stan scratched and scribbled between each bone, acting as if it was just a normal conversation. “It’s totally fair. I don’t remember there being a rule against tickling the winner.” She scrunched up her nose, mock-glaring at him. “Thahat- youhu- uhuhugh!”  

It was adorable to see his relatives’ reactions. He loved to hear their laughs, see them smile, make them forget about the crazy lives they’d led for just a second. The whole “Weirdmageddon” fiasco had done a bit of damage. Stan took any chance he could get to make them feel like regular kids again. Dipper had already gotten his go; now it was Mabel’s turn.

“B-buhuhut- HEHEHEY! NOHOT THE PIHIHIHITS!” He poked her armpit, making the girl squeal. “It’s cute how you two share everything. Makes tickling the snot out of ya a whole lot easier.” It was gonna be a long day…

[archipithecus]

Friends at the Table is a podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, fun interaction between good friends, and asking "what if X was Y? what if W could do Z?"

anyways here's a non-comprehensive selection of some times FatT asked good hypotheticals

(spoilers for Autumn in Heiron, Marielda, Winter in Heiron, COUNTER/Weight, Twilight Mirage, Sangfielle, and some Bluff City i think) (i know Spring, Partizan, and Palisade must also have good "what if X was Y?" but i'm still catching up) (this got way long so i'm putting it behind a readmore) (shoutout to Search at the Table at https://curiosity.cat-girl.gay/ for letting me do this) (also to Transcripts at the Table for writing this all down in the first place)

KEITH: What if I was a snow...hawk… ART: What if you're like, a Dr. Seuss animal? KEITH: Yeah! What if I was a star-bellied sneetch?

KEITH: (laughing) What if the bird was a can opener!

AUSTIN (as Zaktrak): It's like, what if a, what if a factory or train or a windmill could read a book?

AUSTIN (CONT.): And then he, he looks up, he actually has like a very… his build is kind of like, angular and… not thin in terms of like, weak? But he has a sort of… androgynous character about him, in terms of his like, what you would think of as like his body structure. And… very beautiful blue eyes. He’s sort of like, what if David Bowie was super black.

AUSTIN: And that's kind of like, the picture you get of her, is like, What if Fero was like, 30% less hyperactive? Still way more hyperactive than everybody else in-- the world? (laughter) but like, just a little more in tune, with the world.

AUSTIN: What if fire was matte?

ART: What if a—what if a 90s after school special needed some graffiti

AUSTIN: Yeah. He asks you, um... watching what unfolds, and there's, there's, it's--and this is the fuckin' nerdiest thing I'm ever gonna say; it's like what if A-ha's Take On Me was an AMV? Was an anime music video?

AUSTIN: Ali’s character, how did she describe her character, “what if Han Solo used to be Beyonce?”

AUSTIN: It’s like, what if the American government was just another American company?

AUSTIN: It’s like what if holograms did gifs, basically?

ART: You how like Han Solo’s always talking to the Millenium Falcon, but what if the Millenium Falcon-- AUSTIN: Could talk back? ART: Had a chance of, yeah, of deciding he was angry.

SYLVIA: For example. Like just p - yeah, what if they have psychic assassins there. Oh! What if this planet’s an alien? What if this planet is a psychic assassin? Which is a great sentence I just said.

AUSTIN: Yeah, I should note that this is also like "What if the Super Bowl was attended by high fashion models?", right?

AUSTIN: We don’t get a lot of elderly non-binary people. And so Saint Auger is like, what if someone you knew from Portland was 82?

AUSTIN: It’s almost like, what if a crown could be a dunce cap?

AUSTIN: It's like- what if there was a really enterprising twelve year old, who like, [laughs] made a physiology- uh, person- a physiology like, model, but with dirt and rocks and sticks. Also there's no face, the face is also just one of this solid black rock plates.

AUSTIN: And again, there’s just light streaming in through—I think this room is mostly, like, does not have a huge window, but it does have little eyelet windows at the top of the, towards the ceiling, that run horizontally along the room, and just like, bright—it’s almost like, what if colour could be shadow? Do you know what I mean? Like, what if instead of it being that a shadow crosses your face, it is this prismatic glow that moves across the group of you as this thing crawls around this space station.

AUSTIN: It’s like white and blue, there are stars, it- you know, I think that the- it’s, it looks like the way you might imagine like, what if the UN had spaceships?

AUSTIN: What if you mixed your- your selfhood, with the notion of wings. Or the notion of flight. Not just flying. That’s where we’re going.

AUSTIN: This giant battleship that’s like ‘what if a millipede instead of legs had guns and what if it was all around it’?

AUSTIN: This thing is like the size of like a major city. This thing is like, what if Manhattan was a battleship. And instead of buildings it had guns. Except now they’re made of weird black glass.

AUSTIN: The first time he showed up I described him as what if Canderous Ordo decided to have a robot body one day? And slowly began to replace it.

AUSTIN: There’s a little— Yes, it’s like what if a cow— what if Christian Slater was playing a cowboy from New Jersey, and also was Canderous Ordo. And also he eats through his hands.

AUSTIN: There is just this like… I think it’s just metal unfolding across space. Like, at some point Volition just kind of spat out a, a, almost, it looks like a cloud of ink but instead of ink, it’s metal. And it’s just unfolding indefinitely in space like a huge— like what if Akira, what if at the end of Akira when Tetsuo turns into a weird flesh monster? It was that but various types of metal, just like bubbling all over the place throughout space, and I don’t know how you deal with that! But suddenly in the middle of the Mirage there is just this, this ink splatter, this, this gaseous, you know, spread of metal.

AUSTIN: And it’s like — again, it’s like a pistol — it’s like what if a pistol was also like a curved sword, like almost like a scimitar or something?

JANINE: What if we do a live show, but the only live show we ever do is at Bakucon?

ART: Um, let me tell you, this is a nice coat, you guys. Um, I think it’s sort of like what if… What if a leather duster jacket was like an ephemeral idea.

AUSTIN: It’s like … I think the way I described it was, what if there was a Companion Cube that could have its corners pulled apart and in the middle is a weird glowing sphere?

AUSTIN: He has this dope, like, “What if the Millenium Falcon was a deep V?” Instead of just that little bit at the top, it goes really deep down. Or like, “What if Pacman was really long?” You know what I mean?

AUSTIN: Okay. You find him like, rolled under the bottom of his, uhh, or like on a, it’s not rolled under, he’s on like a little, like cart that has a pneumatic lift, or it’s like, it’s like a, it’s like a robot that walks around. It has like- it’s like a Boston Dynamics- like what if a Boston Dynamics, like four-legged robot was also a thing you laid on top of? Like one of those carts that goes underneath a car, to repair it. You know what I’m talking about?

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): [exhales thoughtfully] Like what if milk was a solid.

AUSTIN: But it still has that ribbony-quality? [chuckles] It still has the sound of fabric rubbing on fabric? But is definitely amplified a great deal, probably? And also, we know it’s sharp, so there’s probably some… sharpness to it? You know… there’s probably, like… what if a ribbon could be a sword you pull out of a sheath?

AUSTIN: And also, Saint Sommer is a big lion man. Saint Sommer is, like… Skein. And is a big… a big… like, a big lion man. Not like Lion-o from Thundercats. Like… what if Scar could… had a big human body? Was, like… What if Scar was cut?

KEITH: And it sort of like, snap! Like, that, it's like… when we were talking about what the sound it makes, I was picturing… what if folding a blanket sounded like sheet metal?

AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah. I don’t know I think it’s like, I think this is very much like, what if the Venom symbiote was made of thread, right?

AUSTIN: So maybe it's like a- like imagine, what if a mop could just mop by itself.

AUSTIN: I won’t talk more about that stuff, but you already saw the big picture of “what if Connecticut was a space ocean,” so, you have at least some context there.

AUSTIN: It’s huge. It’s the size of a continent, right? It’s “What if South America was a big circle?” It’s “What if Europe and Eurasia was a big circle?”, constantly cast on this planet. And, you know, from space it kind of looks—not flat necessarily, right, because it’s a curved planet, it’s a sphere, or spherical, but, you know, it’s flat.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if Texas stood up.

AUSTIN (as Morning’s Observation): “What if cars brought things to you instead of bringing you to things?”

AUSTIN: It’s just like a very bright, colorful—like, what if Steven Universe did the Sailors of the Ark? What if that team did it? It’s very good.

AUSTIN: It’s like what if it’s a can opener that does that. Like a living can opener like. Grrrngaaah! I’m going fucking open holes in things! Grrngaah!

AUSTIN: Imagine that they're almost- in my mind they're like what if a martini shaker was a piston.

AUSTIN: It's like what if you could package a sunset, y'know? Into like a cube

AUSTIN: I can't believe we started this recording by looking at pies [KEITH and DRE laugh] that make me hurt and ended with ‘what if all foods could be jelly juice?’.

AUSTIN: I saw a big buffalo picture and I was like what if that was a person, that looks cool.

ART: But what if some of these skeletons are like, sick of this shit?

AUSTIN: I think I pitched this show as like: what if Ghost in the Shell but-but magic and witches instead of cyborgs and stuff?

JACK: So, out come this nascent organization who we’re calling Shapeknights. Who are -- I think the easiest way to say it is “cowboys for trains?” They are, like -- what if instead of the cowboy riding alongside the train on his horse, he was corralling the train? Or he was trying to understand the train, or was trying to --

ALI: I think Marn, herself is a little bit more like—like what if a capybara was a siamese cat?

KEITH: Yeah. So, I wholeheartedly recommend this movie, but if not, if you don't know what I'm talking about with the goggles, at least look at that. ‘Cause it's a good image. It's sort of like, what if you had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe that had a jeweler's loupe?

ART: It’s like, what if the antagonist won the Mummy movie right, this is what happens-

KEITH: What if instead of one, big, beautiful hat I have two small, beautiful hats?

KEITH: Like what if they made headphones just for being cool at a party?

KEITH: What if you make pizza by opening the box? That it was an empty box until you opened it.

AUSTIN: What if insects were made of teeth?

JACK: She’s the fuckin’ person of the train. She’s like what if a train could output a person.

KEITH: What if the train was a nice train?

ART: What if a Madame Tussauds came to life?

AUSTIN: What if fire could be a ghost?

AUSTIN: Looking through this here, sounds like what you wrote here was “What if a dolphin was like a velociraptor?”

AUSTIN: They’re hitched. Yeah, they've been hitched. Three of them have been hitched. And I said horse, but I want you to imagine is what if…what if a shrimp were a horse?

JACK: You sort of just like rise up the slope. It's a bit like what if a train was an escalator.

AUSTIN: What if Beyonce was Poison Ivy?

AUSTIN: All my cards on the table, Millennium Black is like what if Blade stopped being a vampire hunter and started being a casino owner.

AUSTIN: He's sort of like what if Alex Jones wasn't terrible

[pocketmania]

Splatoon 🎨🔫‼️‼️

have you thought about writing for any of the squidbeak characters with a fuzzy reader? like the agents, captain 3, agent 4 and 8 and new 3.

you can pick anyone you like or all four (or any character you like), reader can be a fuzzy inkling or octoling. i just really like the whole fuzzy situation in splat 3 story mode‼️

I haven't thought about it, but it's honestly a really cool concept! Thank you for the idea anon :]

Also, sorry for the wait!

Now onto the thingies

‎‧₊˚✧[ The Agents w/ a Fuzzy Reader ]✧˚₊‧

(🎨🔫👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨💭) - splatoon headcanons

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

- - - - - - -

Captain 3

You guys met in the Crater

You're an inkling

Cap was about to ambush you, but quickly realized you weren't a threat, so they backed down

(Cuttlefish was still skeptical though)

So now you guys just hang out a lot

You've got claws, so you might've accidentally scratched them at some point if you're clumsy

They don't mind it, though. Just another scar to add to the collection. It's not the worst one they have

Cap is 50% serious and 50% goober, so do with that information what you will

If they're ever feeling down you can give em a hug and that'll instantly brighten their day

Cap and the rest of the Squidbeak Splatoon run tests on you to help understand you and the fuzzy ooze (and to find a cure), but it's nothing extreme, just simple things that probably won't overwhelm you

But yeah you both are honestly glad you picked each other up

Kinda unrelated, but if it's long enough and you let her, Callie would def braid your hair while you, her, and Marie gossiped

Agent 4

You guys met on the outskirts of inkopolis

You're an inkling

You had accidentally strayed away from your fuzzy army and had wandered outside of town, just near Agent 4's house

They saw you in a really bad state, so they were nice enough to take you in, not realizing that you were a 'potential threat'

You two instantly hit it off

4 often talked about their studies in college, and you always helped them since you were quite smart

4, when not engrossed in their studies, is also a goober

Gives you stupid nicknames like "mama/papa bear"

Cuddles are also very much so appreciated

They'd smother you, stuffing their face into your fur

They're your #1 hypeman (or woman)

When you guys go chill in inkopolis square, you usually wore a hoodie to hide your hair

However, 4 eventually got you to come out of your shell and wear it less often

And they will deal with anyone that bullies you for it >:[

But you guys make the perfect team

Agent 8

You guys met over by Grizzco in Inkopolis Square

You're an octoling

They found you hiding near all the clutter, and ever since then, y'all have been joined at the hip

8 understands how you feel and what it's like to be an 'outcast', so it helps to know that

Since you're both octolings, you guys sometimes talk how your lives were in the army

Just like the other two, cuddles are always welcome

8 sometimes calls you a teddy bear when you do it

8 might take you to meet Pearl, Marina, and Acht in the square, to which you thought they were all super cool

It's like a mini friend group

The both of you aren't really big on talking (especially since you didn't really understand inkling all that much), but you talk through looks and touch

You and 8 understand each other, and you're glad you were hanging out by all thay clutter

Neo 3

You guys met in Alterna

You're an octoling

Neo was on a mission and was about to splat you when they realized that you were unarmed and just trying to get out of the level

They took you back to the Squid Sister's camp and, just like Captain, had to run tests and stuff

It took a while for them to like you (since you were considered an enemy)

But they eventually warmed up enough

They're willing to fight anyone who doesn't back off after they bully you about being fuzzy

Tell them your favorite food, they will buy you 4 pounds of it

They weren't big on cuddling first, but now they absolutely love it when you do it

Sometimes Smallfry cuddles with you, and sometimes, he tries to eat your fur, thinking it's a fuzzball

You don't mind it though, you find it quite funny, anyways

Calls you stupid in an endearing way

While it did take a while for them to get used to you, when they did, they couldn't have been a more caring s/o

- - - - - - -

‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅

[crushingonevery1]

Im okay (part 1)

Warning: nothing really, slight mention of anxiety, reader has a chip in her body, i think that's it

Pairings: Peter Parker x girlfriend reader

School just ended and Peter and you were sitting in detention after being caught talking in class. You were both guilty of getting detention on purpose more times than you would like to admit. Your uncle and aunt were never home during this time so you got the most freedom to spend time with Peter. And currently, they were both on a business trip and had locked the mansion basically leaving you on the streets to fend for yourself for the week. You weren't complaining tho May and Peter had very generously offered for you to live with them whenever that happened, cause it happened way too much. Your uncle would come to find you through the tracker installed in your shoulder once they were back. You were sure he knew about Peter but just didn't care or didn't find a 17-year-old too dangerous for his "asset".

You were both just exiting school and going back home when Peter got a call from Mr Stark of course you knew about him being Spiderman so after reassuring him that you will be fine and that he should hurry up, you made your way towards Peter's while he left for the avengers tower.

-------------------------------

At the tower, it had been a few minutes since the quinjet had landed and everyone was scattered in the living room and kitchen filling up. Peter was texting you every detail of his mission and happily smiling when you told him you were proud of him. Obviously everyone noticed that the usually talkative teen boy was smiling and blushing towards his phone and not talking to anyone or even replying when Tony called out to him. so Tony after getting ignored for the second time finally pulled out Peter's phone out of his hand looking at who he was texting.

"TONY!!" Pepper shouted clearly unimpressed.

"Relax pep I'm basically his dad" he replied very confidently looking through the texts before finally clicking on your pic. All the while Peter just sat quietly trusting Mr Stark with anything and deciding it was about time he told them about you despite you saying no.

"Who you texting kid??" asked Sam all the way from the kitchen clearly entertained knowing Tony was in for an ass-whooping later.

"umm... my girlfriend..." that got everyone's attention. It was TOO quiet for a good 2 mins before Tony finally pitched in.

"She's cute. Although I'm not sure telling her every detail of our mission to impress her is a good idea, you are not THAT ugly kid."

"WAIT WHAT!!!"spoke the one and only captain america " Peter how could you be so reckless!!". He was clearly disappointed and usually peter would instantly apologise when he saw someone upset. not this time tho, he felt the need to defend you.

"no shes not like that i swear, she would never... She's already got so much of her own stuff going on she can't and she won't."

Seeing the usually too obedient kid argue against cap everyone understand whoever you were, you were important to Peter and they will figure out whether you were a danger or not before passing anymore comments to hurt the kid. They all kept quiet and Peter was about to apologise for being rude when Scott spoke up from the couch next to him. "so hey, when do we get to meet her?? How long has it been? How'd you meet? Give us the deets kid."

Seeing all of them waiting impatiently for his answer made him a lot more calmer before he decided to answer a few questions they might have.

"Her name's y/n. She's in my maths class, and she's like super smart, like more than me. We started officially dating like a month back but we were best friends before that too. She's really close with Ned and MJ too!!" He was practically shouting out of excitement by the time he finished. They smiled widely at the whipped teenager remembering their own first loves and congratulating the spider. When everyone was done sharing their first love experiences Tony finally spoke "As much as I loved hearing about Manchurian candidate being a complete chick magnet, circling back to the exciting part of today, Underoos,when do we get to meet the spider girl?" This made Peter blush profusely before he finally spoke

"Mr stark, you know how my birthday is next week ??" At this tiny doubtfully nods, clearly dissatisfied that his question was ignored. Ignoring the expression on the older man's face Peter continues "Do you think you could throw me an early birthday party...like today?"

Completely forgetting everything at the name of a party Tony very happily replied "You got it Underoos, EVERYONE!! TONIGHT AT 8!! MY KID'S TURNING LEGAL!!"

"next week stark, the kid turns legal next week, you're not letting him drink today"

Ignoring the fight in the background between Tony and Steve everyone went back to whatever they were doing while Peter made his way to the kitchen where Sam, Bucky, Pepper and thor and loki sat. He quickly took a seat at the table dialing your number extremely excited to hear your voice.

"hey honey, did you reach home safe??" "Yes I did Pete I texted you remember?"

"Right!Is may home?" "No she went to help aunt Betty she told us yesterday at dinner"

"oh that's even better! Hey Mr stark is throwing me a birthday party tonight can you please join us it would mean the world to me" "ofc Pete anything. But...your birthday's next week isn't it ?"

By now the convo between Bucky and thor had calmed down and they were all very much listening to your conversation with zero shame.

"Yea! Yea ikr! I told Mr stark but you know him, he's so ...extravagant!!so he just wanted to have a early celebration" the lie made everyone hearing cringe very evidently but they awaited your reply not expecting you to buy that.

"right... I'll be there ofc but umm...you think u could meet me at the gate...I don't want to have to walk in among all the supers completely alone... actually nevermind I'm being a baby I'll be there, you enjoy with your frien-" "hey relax, breathe for me, I'll be coming home in a bit we'll get ready together and come to the party together don't worry, okay ? Rest well honey I'll be home in an hour"

They were superheros for godsake your unusual anxiety instead of excitement over your boyfriend's birthday was wayyyy too obvious in your voice, but there was currently a bigger issue at hand...

"YOU'RE LIVING TOGETHER?!?"

------------------------------------

[minimarvelh]

Saw the last ask you got and just had two throw my two cents into the conversation. First of all, a big Yeesss to all of what anon said, like smart Peter and bamf Peter for the win. But also strong Peter? Like very very strong Peter? Like, it's canon that Spiderman is stronger than all of the Avengers, even the Hulk in some comics. But then there are so many fic where he gets pushed around by Cap, Bucky and Nat during sparing and fights and stuff? Wtf? Natasha? Sure she's badass but no amount of technique and martial arts can help you take someone down who's like enhanced over all, has a sixth sense warning for danger and is several times stronger than Captain America. You don't just knock someone on their back who can lift a flipping building just cause you have more experience and know several fighting styles like how should that work? Apart from the fact that Peter is smart and won't just run into the fight with someone he knows has more experience than himself. Yeah ... I needed to get that off my chest lmao

ABSOLUTELY yes, I was always wondering like WTF HOW like how is that even possible if he is super strong?😭how Nat can knock him off, even with her techniques, I thinks it’s really REALLY hard to win against spiderman, with all his senses, his powers and abilities. He would feel that she would do the punch before the punch itself, so she could win only by confusing his senses but idk how she or any other avenger would do that. I thing their advantages are 1) experience and techniques (but that alone is not enough to win against spiderman) 2) team..I think that is the only way they could win against spiderman. Steve + Nat + Clint against Peter — there is a high chance they could win (with proper plan) maybe Tony or Hulk could win against him, but not the Nat or Clint.

thank you for sending your ask, I completely agree with you!! I hope you are having a good day❤️