#if you followed just to be educated you're in the wrong place

[magnetothemagnificent]

I know it probably doesn't matter, your blog, your rules. I just wanted to let you know that I was hoping to follow you so I could learn how to be more sensitive to Jewish people, the post I originally saw that made me follow in the first place seemed like you're trying to educate. I'm an educator too, for different topics. I'm also trans.

But because of the jews only thing you have going on (totally your right, no judgment) I can't, because I'll inevitably forget to check the tags and respond to something you don't want gentile input on. Your reactions to people who have done so aren't as kind as I need an educator to be.

I already feel awful because I don't know more about Judaism and your culture. So, I had to unfollow. I only wanted to point out, as another person interested in educating others about my marginalizations, a result you may not have been aware of. If you educate, its really difficult to put blocks like that up and hope for people to learn to do better. Blessings and I hope you do well.

I totally get that, but my blog isn't an education blog. It's a mishmash of a bunch of things I'm passionate about. Sometimes it's stuff about my personal interests, like dentistry, anthropology, and fandoms. Sometimes it's art. Sometimes it's shitposts. Sometimes it's random musings about gender and Judaism and all kinds of stuff. And yes, sometimes it's education. I enjoy educating, but that's not not why I made this blog. If you follow me purely for educational stuff, I'm afraid you're gonna get quite lost.

But that's the issue with people viewing any member of a marginalized group as purely an educator, isn't it?

I don't exist to educate. If you want a blog to follow for just my educational input, I'm a moderator for Is-The-Thing-Jewish. But this blog is my own blog. And currently it's the high holidays and that always means spikes in antisemitism and personal existential crises. Plus my close friend died a few weeks ago, my ex is stalking me again, and my grandfather might have cancer, so forgive me if I'm not going to be the nicest and most welcoming and make more personal posts geared only towards myself or those I consider myself close to. This is my blog, take it or leave it.

And honestly if you only came to my blog to be educated, I'm glad you unfollowed, because I'm not a lesson, I'm a person.

[illyrianbitch]

-ˋˏ MASTERLIST ˎˊ-

✨ indicates smut ♡ indicates a series ✰ indicates a one shot ↯ installment of series but can be read as stand-alone ☼ indicates a drabble ❥ are personal favorites last updated: 9/13/24 helpful links for palestinian aid

Azriel

♡ . —One Summer✨ (On-going)

One beach house, one festival, one summer to fall in love.

♡ . —An Education in Malice✨ (On-going)

With the sharp tongue of your notorious family, you are Azriel's most tantalizing challenge yet. It only takes one small meeting before you both realize that the line between hate and desire is dangerously thin.

♡ . — The Anatomy of Dependence (Coming soon)

You and Azriel are drawn together by an unbreakable bond, encountering obstacles and triumphs across the centuries and finding your way back to each other again and again.

✰. —Death and His Reaper ❥

After suffering a devastating injury in battle, Azriel finds himself on the brink of life and death where he meets you, The Mother's reaper.

↯. — Back to Our Roots

With the Acheron sisters out of town, you and your family plan for a quiet night in— just like old times.

✰. —Where I Left My Lover

After a brush with death, Azriel makes a difficult decision to protect you.

✰. —What We Make of What We're Made

When Azriel overhears Feyre's concern about your transition to fae life, he agrees to check on you.

✰. —When the Heart is Still Longing ❥

Azriel thought you were the one. Now, he can’t move on

✰. —Pretty Little Shadowsinger

Cassian walks in on you dressing Az in one of your dresses.

✰. —An Evening Reunion

Azriel comes home from a mission. You talk to him about your day, but he’s far more interested in you—and your silk nightgown.

✰. —Memories

While packing some boxes, Azriel is overwhelmed by memories of your relationship.

✰. —What Lies Between Us (On-going)

Azriel has spent years trying to escape the ghosts of his past, retiring into a self-imposed exile despite a promising career as a talented detective. When you turn up at his door asking for help on a recent case, his world is disrupted.

✰. —Body Count

Anxious about how your lack of experience compares to Azriel's, you ask him about his body count. Unfortunately for him, he misunderstands the question gravely.

✰. —Safe✨

Azriel's night is troubled by a nightmare. He finds a soothing remedy in the arms of his mate.

✰. —Winner

You and Azriel are both sore losers. But when you cheat in a game of cards, winning takes on a whole new meaning.

Cassian

♡ ↯. —And I'm Thinking About Your Lips ✨ ❥

You and Cassian have been best friends since you were teenagers-- just friends. But one night at Rita's changes everything and now you cant breathe when you're around him and he can't stop imagining how you'd taste. ↯ Part One, ↯ Part Two

↯. — A Hobby for Two ❥

Cassian surprises you with a small gift. You spend the night teaching him how to properly enjoy it.

✰. —A Place For Dying

A mission with Cassian goes terribly wrong.

✰. —Words of Affirmation

Even the Lord of Bloodshed gets insecure sometimes. As his mate, you always know the right words to say.

☼. —Tender

Cassian cuddles with you when you have a migraine

Rhysand

✰. —Insatiable ✨

There are countless reasons why you and Rhysand don’t work… but those reasons don’t seem so important when you’re tipsy in a bathroom with him inside you.

♡ . — Lights, Camera, Love! (On-going)

Rhysand, Hollywood's hottest heartthrob, has everyone smitten—everyone except you, his co-star. But when rumors of your feud begin to affect the show's ratings, your producers propose a last-ditch solution: a fake romance to salvage your public image and reignite fan interest.

Lucien Vanserra

♡ . — Hidden Things (Coming soon)

Following a cryptic vision from Elain, Lucien finds himself seeking out an enchanted artifact at your shop in the heart of the Day Court. What he finds instead is a profound connection with you—and a version of himself he believed he had lost.

Eris Vanserra

♡ . — A House of Hunger (Coming soon)

Every Autumn court citizen is hungry for something; beasts starved for influence, desperate for control, ravenous for power. Your tastes are no different—albeit a bit specific. It's a deep craving that boils in the pit of your stomach, hot and heavy, all consuming. You’re hungry for revenge.

✰. —Blessed

Angered by Nesta's actions, the Cauldron turned you into a fae different than your sisters— a lesser one that resembled more animal than human. Now living in Autumn, Eris shows you a new perspective on yourself.

✰. —Of Our Own Devices

Desperate to reunite with Lucien since his exile to Spring, you find yourself paying an unexpected price to his older brother. Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six

✰. —Handsome as Life and Poison

Defying your father’s sacred command, you wander to the grove where Spring and Autumn blend, only to encounter a sinfully divine figure with glowing amber eyes.

Bat-Boys (Reader x BatBoys)

✰. —Worth It

It can be hard to remember why you’ve put up with your best friends for centuries-- until they remind you why they're worth it.

✰. —A Helping Hand

Even most powerful males in Prythian need relationship advice from their best friend.

Mini-Series

♡ . — Mirthroot Mini-Series

Between dodging death and saving Prythian, its always nice to make time and enjoy one of The Mother's greatest creations: mirthroot. Reader x ACOTAR Characters

[dark-night-hero]

Imagine a regression AU with Kamisato Ayato in which thy started with a forbidden love. The two of you were trully a match made by celestia but cannot be together. They could only love each other in silence and in their own little way. Ayato was to be wed to another, your younger sister to be more specific. And you, you are just a person doing what you want, someone who had already stray away from the path that your parents wanted you to take. You had disowned your family a long time ago.

Imagine the two of you never meant to fall in love. But in the end, you did. In you he found his solace, the only person he could be his true self, away from the responsibilities and thoughts that would only tire him. To you, he was like your other half, he always understand where you are coming from, understand why you made such decisions that no one else cannot seem to understand. But then again, it was wrong. This love was right, but it was wrong. Because it causes someone else pain. So in the end, it was only meant to be that the two of you were to part ways.

Imagine, but then again. It was never easy yo let go once you met your fated one. So the two of you continue this stupid love affair until one day. You saw your own sister begging for you to let him go, using her own life as a threat if you refuse to do so. And upon realizing the fact of how forbidden- how deadly this love can be not only to you but also to those people around you. You choose to end it all. You knew for a fact that Ayato would not let you go. You could see how much to loves you, love you enough to let everything go. But you do not want that. You do not want him to let go of everything he worked so hard to have and achieve. So you left.

Imagine you left and never look back. Burried all those memories, all those love deep in your heart. Never trying to find a love like that again. And so years have passed, decades have passed and you are now on your deaths door. Thinking all about those memories you thought you have long forgotten only to resurface during such moments. As you close your eyes, you realise how terrifying love can be. And perhaps, if you were given a chance, you would not get yourself involve with him. Be it to protect yourself or to protect him. You do not know.

Imagine opening your eyes again only to realize you have came back. You have come back into the place you have never thought you will never set foot into again. Your goddamn house. The place that you hated the most. And there was also one thing, you're back into your child like state. What the actual fuck?

Imagine going back in your teenage years. Waking up into your 15 years of age was something you have never expected. Then again, maybe this was hell. For this household was like a hellish place for you. Cold and controlling father who wants to hone you into becoming the household leader even if it means all sorts of method. A caring but could not do anything to protect you, mother that upon realizing she cannot help you, to stand agaist her own husband ways of education, turn herself into caring for your siblings instead. And your sisters, those loving little sisters was all in the past, all you can see now was those girls who have taken everything you have every loved from you.

Imagine living the same pattern, letting day and night pass by. Thinking it would be wise to follow your steps the way you do it in the past. Except this time, after running away. You will never get yourself acquaintance with a certain retainer. He was bound to be wed to your sister anyway and around this time, you are also to be wed to someone else.

so Imagine the shock in your face when the person you are supposed to be wed, your childhood friend that was supposed to help you runaway was not the person you are introduce into as your fiance. "(First name) meet your fiance, the young master of the Kamisato clan, Kamisato Ayato." ??? "It's a pleasure to be by your presence, (First name)." In the end, you are left speechless by the revelation. Isn't he supposed to be your sister fiance? What changed? What's happening?

Imagine, what if this life was the life were you can finally achieve the love that was taken away- forbidden- a love that you were left no choice but to let go. But would you be willing to do so? Even if that means letting go of your dream for freedom?

[ⓒdark-night-hero] 2024°

[mieczyhale]

if you actually cared about palestinians, if you actually wanted to help people in gaza, you would donate to accredited organizations that are actually making a difference

throwing your money at every gofundme you get sent is performative, it's ignorant, it's a real 'head empty' move. something a child with no internet knowledge or common sense would do.

and to continue to defend doing that just shows that you don't actually care about helping people in gaza. you just don't want to be wrong. you don't want to admit that maybe you've been wasting your own money and the money of those who follow you and follow the links you share

you can't vet gofundme's. 'reverse image search' isn't actually vetting. and you can't trust every person on tumblr who says 'trust me!'

i can't believe any of this actually has to be pointed out in the first place, let alone driven home repeatedly because y'all refuse to even CONSIDER you JUST MIGHT be wrong. that you just might have fallen for propaganda and lies designed to hit your desire to do right, do good, and help (falling for those things btw is common. it's easy. you're not bad for getting caught up in it, but i am judging you if you refuse to consider that might be where you are.) (this actually applies to gofundme scams AND whatever heinous antisemitic alternate universe you're living in due to the non-facts you eat for every meal)

i'm not a zionist

i can't be. i'm not jewish.

but i am pro-peace, pro-two state solution, pro jewish self determination, pro palestine's continued existence, anti-ANYONE dying, and beyond fucking tired of y'all's bullshit

stop being fucking stupid

stop throwing your money in the trash

stop acting like your hate isn't hate

stop acting like you're on some fucking high horse and you have all the facts despite actually knowing absolutely fucking nothing because you refuse to listen to a single real non-token jew. you're antisemitic. i don't care that you don't think you are. you are. so many of you just are. and you don't get to decide you're not. just like a racist doesn't get to decide they aren't racist. if people in a group are calling you something there just might be a fucking reason for it, kathy

re-learn your internet safety, turn your brain back on, hop off the hate bandwagon, educate yourself beyond surface level shit the internet presents you with, make informed decisions based on facts, do things that will ACTUALLY help people in gaza.

be fucking better. do fucking better.

[derangedanomaly]

<BAD SANSES WITH A GHOST READER>

(Killer, Dust, Horror, Nightmare, Cross, Error)

Killer:

He would be scared shitless 💀

Constantly lies that he's not scared of you, to look cool in front of the others (they could careless though, his reputation is already shit 😂)

Listen, it's not the fact that you're a ghost that scares him, it's the fact that you always appear wherever

One time, he accidentally even ran into a door because you scared him. (The others will never drop that)

Even through all this, Killer's still Killer, of COURSE he tries to flirt with you. Wait... Let me rephrase that, he IS flirting with you whenever he gets the chance.

After you told him that you can appear just by someone calling out your name, he abused the shit out of this information. Literally won't leave you alone after that 💀

Calls you over for the smallest things. "Y/n!! Tell Dust that I'm not a sore loser!" You appearing next to him, sleepy as hell; "Killer...I was asleep.."

When he saw you for the first time, he instantly put his hand through you (to see if it would disappear or go through), which is...intimate to ghosts..so safe to say you didn't started off on the right foot. (Might be the reason you kept scaring him. ;)..)

Dust:

Dust was the last one you got closer to (other than Nightmare). He's just not a people person 🤷‍♀️

Even though you got to know him very late, there were small moments that made you question if he's interested in you or not. Like the time he protected you from Nightmare, which was very uncharacteristic of him.

Dust is probably the most educated of the bunch when it comes to monster species. (You've got to know your enemy to get the XP), so he is very much just scolding educating the others when they do something wrong/insulting to you, as the ghost species.

He's acting like such a boyfriend material, want anything from him? He already has it. Oh, Killer made you uncomfortable? It would be his pleasure to put him in his place ^^

Doesn't show much interest or concern towards you, but that's because he's an emo BI- he's afraid he would hurt you. (He's also stubborn)

You scared him when you first popped outta nowhere, but after that..it didn't scared him anymore. He's just surprised whenever you show up, but that's all really.

Horror:

Safe to say, he was very interested in you.

He's actually very sweet towards you, and that's because he thinks you're safe with him. I mean... you're a ghost, a monster that is safe from any harm, and he's a dangerous skeleton that could kill you whenever. He sees this as an absolute win.

Horror is actually the first one you got closer to. He's your best friend. ;)

The first time he catches feelings, is the time you defended him from Nightmare when Horror got hungry. Again... No one ever defended him for wanting food.

After that incident, he's always jumping at any opportunity to return the kindness.

Constantly following you around. He's just happy to finally have someone he's sure he can't hurt. It's really comforting to him.

Nightmare:

Only took you in cause he thought you could be useful.

Not very pleased with you at the start, cause you were talking back to him.

He's keeping a close eye on you, to see if you are doing your job properly. (You aren't)

At first, he regretted ever taking you in, but after seeing you at full power at your very first mission...he changed his mind.

Doesn't get scared easily, so you're almost never successful in that department. But....there was ONE time, where you did managed it. (He was caught staring at a picture of you 💀)

He groans loudly if you say something against his elaborate plans.

Actually finds it quiet impressive that you managed to befriend Horror. But quickly got angry by it when you two weren't doing your job, and instead spend the day together. (Jealous, but won't admit it.)

Secretly makes sure nothing bad happens to you, but won't admit it ;)

Cross:

Cross thinks it's cool.

Always fascinated by you. He's sometimes caught staring at you for to long, which makes him flustered.

Cross has a bad habit of getting nervous around you, and he doesn't want you to see him like that...the solution? Pulling up his hood and nuzzle into it further. It's actually really cute..

The main reason he's so nervous is because he's afraid he would somehow insult you or something (cause you're a ghost, and he doesn't know any monster with that kind of species).

After you calm him down, saying that it's ok, Cross finally calms down, and he starts to hang out more with you, causing you to get closer.

Cross is actually your training buddy! After Nightmare gave him that role, he got kinda scared he would hurt you somehow..so while training he was very gentle with you.

But after learning that you're more than capable of handling yourself, he slowly starts to go back to his usual fighting style.

He's safe from you and your 'appearing outta nowhere to scare everyone'. So he never got frightened by you. ^^

Error:

Hates it when you appear outta nowhere. He always glitches out, and that's super uncomfortable for him.

He likes how brave you are. Literally loves it.

Always backing you up when you're in an argument with Nightmare. (He's enjoying the chaos a bit too much XD)

Other than that, you two never really interacted that much before. That was until you caught Error in his Anti-void watching Undernovela... Error didn't know what to say as you just floated up to him, to look more clearly at the Tv.

After that whole ordeal, it ended up with you two watching Undernovela together, sharing a popcorn. Though you forgot you can't eat, so the food went through you. Error noticed only after you left.

Since he has Haphephobia, and you can't touch anything... He doesn't mind it whenever you try and 'grab him', but when he found out his strings have the ability to hold you...he has been abusing that fact ever since.

Uses his strings to pull you along, or to simply show 'affection'.

Thinks you're an awesome fighter, proud of you whenever you win a fight. ^^

[roosterforme]

Adult Education Part 2 | Hangman x OC

Summary: Jake wasn't sure what he had done wrong, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare Jessica off. With a little bit of help, he manages to get a few minutes alone with her again. And all she does is effortlessly make him want even more.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing

Length: 2600 words

Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female OC

This story is part of the Beer Boy and Sugar universe but can be read on its own! Adult Education masterlist

Seriously, who let Jake on my masterlist!? Banner by @mak-32

Jake was still perplexed the following afternoon as he listened to Maverick lecture about the efficiency of the modified fuel system in the F/A-18. He couldn't help but think that Dr. Reed would have done a much better job speaking on the topic. And looked cute while doing it. 

He'd spent most of the night thinking about her, trying to determine where exactly he had fucked things up. It seemed like she was into him while they were at the bar. The cheap beers and peanuts at Chippy's let Jake know she would be relaxed enough to hang with his friends. And the way she looked and her PhD in physics let him know she would hold his interest. If he was looking for someone to date, it would be Professor Jessica in a heartbeat.

She was so charming and intelligent. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe it only took her an hour last night to recognize that Jake wouldn't be enough to hold her interest. She really went running for her office as soon as they were outside.

"Damn," he muttered once the aviators were all dismissed for the day. When he unlocked his phone, his browser was still open to the tab of Jessica's profile on the San Diego State University website. That little photo of her wearing her glasses and a blouse with the top buttons undone was really messing with him. He practically had the About Me section memorized by now, and she'd said nothing about a spouse. He went to close out of it, but he couldn't. 

"Hey, you need a ride again today?" Bradley asked him, checking his own phone.

"Nah, I got my truck back this morning," he replied. "But thanks."

Bradshaw just shrugged and grunted in response, but then he was holding up his phone for Jake to see the screen. "My wife apparently has a message for you."

Sugar: Tell Hangman I ate lunch with Dr. Reed today. And she wanted to know if my sexy aviator husband happened to know another sexy aviator by the name of Jake Seresin.

Jake perked right up at that. "Mind if I text Dr. Tits myself?" he asked, and Bradley handed over his phone. 

"Just as long as you don't call her Dr. Tits. Jesus, I'm shocked you're still alive."

But he wasn't listening. Rather he was already texting. 

Hey, it's Jake. Did Jessica say anything else? After we had some beers at Chippy's, she kind of ran off. I'd like to see her again, but I'm not so sure she'd want to see me.

Jake sent the message and stared at the screen. "She might not be able to respond right now," Bradshaw was saying. "She's got a late lecture this evening." But the messaging app was telling Jake that she was in fact currently typing. 

"Shh," Jake said, devouring the message as soon as it arrived.

Sugar: I told her I know you. Be thankful that I painted a much, much prettier picture of you than I could have. But she didn't say much else. However... she does have office hours until 7:00 tonight. Just so you know.

Jake groaned and handed the phone back to Bradley. Of course he was relying on help from the woman he had accidentally given a vulgar nickname. He didn't know what he should do. On one hand, he'd love to show up at Jessica's office and pick up where they left off. On the other hand, there was a good chance it would be awkward. But he wanted to know what he did wrong. 

While they were at Chippy's, Jake had been thinking about inviting her to have dinner at his place one night. He thought about making her smile and laugh in his kitchen while he tried to convince her he was smart enough to keep up with the conversation. Imagining how it might feel to press his lips to her elegant neck.

"Yeah, I'm going," he grunted, checking the time. 

"Going where?" Bradshaw asked, looking at him like he had two heads as they finally exited the deserted classroom. 

"Visit your wife at work," Jake replied with a wink. 

He just rolled his eyes in response. "Tell her I'll pick her up at 9."

Jake didn't even bother to change out of his flight suit. He'd only been out on the tarmac for a short period of time today, so the jet fumes didn't seem to be an issue. He grabbed his wallet and keys from his locker and rushed for his truck. It was already after 6 o'clock. Depending on traffic, he might not even make it to campus before Jessica's office hours ended. But what did he have to lose?

"Come on," he complained, merging with the congestion of cars leaving North Island. Everyone was creeping across the bay bridge, and Jake was watching the minutes tick away. When he was finally close to campus, he tried to remember where Bradshaw had parked yesterday. He cut down a side street and came out near the math and science building, but there was nowhere to park. 

"Shit," he said, and then someone was pulling out of a spot further up the block. Somehow he managed to successfully squeeze his truck between two other cars, and he hopped out onto the sidewalk. He tossed his sunglasses onto the front seat before locking his truck, and tried to fix his hair as he walked toward her building. He could see Chippy's across the street, and he briefly wondered if she might head over there if he couldn't find her office in time. 

When he tried to open the door to the math and science building, it was locked. He jiggled all the door hands, but none of them were open. There was a card reader off to one side, but no students in sight. "Fuck," he groaned. The building was probably only left unlocked yesterday for the mini lectures. 

Jake started scrambling for his phone so he could call Bradshaw and get his wife's number. But then he saw her walking down the hallway inside, and he pounded on the door. She turned and looked at him with a cautionary glance until she realized it was him. Then she walked over and pulled the door open for him.

She grinned and said, "Just in time for office hours, I see."

"Thank you," Jake said, and he didn't even call her Dr. Tits. "I owe you one. For the information and for opening the door."

She just pointed him toward the row of elevators and said, "Dr. Reed's office is on the fifth floor, to the left when you exit the elevator."

"Thanks!" he called out as he practically ran to push the little up arrow. And now he was nervous. Why did he think this was a good idea? As the doors slid open, he registered that it wasn't too late to just go back to his truck and drive home. But as they started to close again, he found himself darting inside and pushing the number 5. 

If he got completely shot down, then so be it. And if she was already gone for the day, then maybe he'd consider stopping by Chippy's and running the risk of having her bartender friend give him the third degree. But it would be worth it just in case Jessica wanted to talk to him again. 

Fifth floor. He turned to the left and read all of the names on the doors as he made his way down the long hallway. And then he saw it on the placard on the second to last door on the left. DR. JESSICA REED, PHD.

The door was slightly ajar, and Jake let out a deep breath before he knocked. 

"Come in."

When he pushed the door open and stepped inside her small office, he smiled. Jessica was sitting at her desk, writing something down in that red notebook he saw yesterday, and when her gaze slid up his body, her lips parted in surprise when she met his eyes. "Jake."

"Dr. Reed," he drawled. "I almost missed your office hours."

Her eyes were wide, and she nudged her glasses up higher on her nose with the backs of her fingers. "What are you doing here?"

Jake took a step closer to her desk, and she slowly stood. And hell if she wasn't wearing another cute skirt today. 

She was eyeing him curiously, still waiting for an answer when he said, "You told me I could borrow your copy of the Journal of Propulsion Science. The edition with the information about Super Hornets."

"Oh," she whispered, her face falling a bit. "Right. Of course." She turned away from him and started to search along some shelves that were jammed with books and periodicals. His eyes roamed over the back of her body all the way down to her feet and her high heels. He watched as she pulled a few glossy journals out and turned to hand them to him. "Here's the Propulsion Science journal, and here are a few more that might interest you. I don't need them back. You can keep them."

Jake took them and immediately set them down softly on her desk without looking at them. "Thanks, but that's actually not the only reason why I'm here."

"Why else are you here then?" she asked carefully, and Jake wished there wasn't a large desk between his body and hers. He felt himself starting to hesitate again, but he was already in this deep. Might as well go all the way.

"Listen, Jessica. I was having a pretty great time last night at Chippy's." He was trying to gauge her reaction as he added, "You're beautiful, funny and smart, and hey, I'm only human. And I thought you were maybe feeling what I was feeling? And correct me if I'm wrong here, but I thought we were having fun? And it didn't even seem like you expected me to lay down my usual bullshit, which was really nice."

"Oh," she gasped. She worried at her bottom lip with her teeth before she said, "No. You're not wrong."

He shrugged at her, heart pounding as he asked, "Then what did I do wrong? Why did you run off?"

She laughed softly and looked down at her desk. "I nerded out so hard."

Jake grinned as the sheepish look on her face. "You must have been able to tell I was enjoying myself. God, I could have stayed at Chippy's with you all night long. You know more about my jet than I do, and I have the NATOPS memorized."

She ran her fingers nervously along the top of her desk as she looked at the stack of journals he was meant to take with him. As Jake planted his hands on his hips, she glanced up at him. "It's just too good to be true."

He shook his head slightly. "What's too good to be true?"

"You."

He raised one eyebrow, about to ask what that was supposed to mean when she said, "There's always a catch with the charming, good looking guys, right?"

"A catch?"

She licked her lips and pressed her palms on the desk, leaning a little closer to him. "I've been through this before. There's always someone else. A sexy naval aviator in his uniform shows up to my lecture and then flirts with me? Please. There's always another girl."

Jake was kind of stunned. "I would never do that."

But she still looked apprehensive as she said, "As soon as you started ignoring calls and messages, you said you had to leave."

Bradshaw. He was ignoring calls from Bradshaw who was trying to tell Jake to meet him at the Bronco. And he was only ignoring him because he didn't want to leave her at all.

When he didn't respond right away, she shrugged and said, "Figured it was your girlfriend calling you."

Jake made sure she met his eyes before he said, "I don't have a girlfriend."

She barely hesitated before asking, "Wife?"

"I don't have one of those either."

Jessica slowly pushed off from her desk so she was standing at her full height, lips forming a perfect, kissable pout. She looked a little embarrassed now as she messed with her glasses. "That's all really useful information to have," she muttered, picking up the stack of journals and walking them around her desk. 

Her steps were intentional and deliberate, the little click of her high heels muffled in the small space. Even in those shoes she only came up to his chin, and she didn't stop until she was right in front of him. He could smell her shampoo or perfume. He could see gold flecks in her eyes. This time when she held out the journals, they grazed his flight suit. He took them in one hand and murmured, "Thank you."

"Mmhmm," she hummed, and Jake almost tossed the literature aside and pushed her against her desk when her fingers met the patches on his flight suit. He stood still against his desire to tilt her face up and press his lips to that pout. She looked good, and she smelled good, and Jake was convinced she would taste good, too. Then she glanced up at him, fingers still tracing his patch that said HANGMAN. 

He cleared his throat softly. "What if I decide I want to return the journals after I read them? And what if I have some questions only an expert would be able to answer?"

She smiled and said, "Then I would implore you to find me and avoid Dr. Leeland and the rest of the physics department."

Jake laughed softly, but then she removed her hand from his flight suit, and he started to reach for her. But she was already turning toward her desk, tearing a page out of her red notebook. As she bent at the waist, Jake stifled a groan and rubbed one rough hand over his mouth. Her skirt rode up along her legs, exposing so much skin, he couldn't look away. Perfect, gorgeous skin from her bare thighs down to her ankles and those stupidly high heels. 

He was definitely caught staring after she finished scribbling on the sheet of notebook paper and spun to face him. He wanted to ask her if she wanted another three dollar pint and some peanuts, but she folded the paper in half and handed it to him before he could gather his thoughts into a sentence that actually made sense.

He glanced down and saw that she'd written her office hours in her neat penmanship. 

Dr. Reed's office hours for journal topic discussion:

Tuesdays 5:30 to 7:00

Thursdays 6:00 to 7:30

"I might be willing to stay late again. For you." 

Jake looked up into her pretty eyes and tapped the sheet of paper. "Any chance you'd add your phone number for me, Dr. Reed?"

The soft smile and dreamy look she bestowed on him had him grinning like an idiot, he was certain. He wanted that phone number in the worst way. When Jessica's fingers ghosted along his patch one more time, she said, "Maybe I'll see you on Thursday?"

"Yes." Jake would make it a point to come back on Thursday. 

--------------------------

Professor Jessica thought she nerded too close to the sun. And Jake really did give off some of the telltale signs of a man who is up to no good (including but not limited to looking hot in his uniform). Thanks to @beyondthesefourwalls and @mak-32

PART 3

@blahehblah

@sotalife

@desert-fern

@furiouspiespytaco

@rosiahills22

@daggerspare-standingby

@je-suis-prest-rachel

@callsign-joyride

@theharddeck

@captain-beskar

@withakindheartx

@roosterscockpit

@whatislovevavy

@hangmanbrainrot

@neferpatra

@sehnsuchts-trunken

@callsign-joyride

@thedroneranger

@cherrycola27

@mygyn

@hoyaharper

@tallyovie

@gennyanydots

@callsign-magnolia

@whisperofsong

@seriouslyseresin

@double-j

@bradshawsbitch

@sugarcoated-lame

@katiebby04

@anotherr-fine-mess

@supernaturaldawning

@chassy21

@strrywmen

@tylerjones98

@captainjaspenor

@gigisimsonmars

@fanboyswhore9

@angel-w0nderland

@abaker74

@idontcare-11

@isaebellaa

[welldrawnfish]

How do I know if I'm plural?

I recently started talking to myself as like, a way to reassure and encourage myself and stuff. Saying stuff like "you're fine, you didn't do anything wrong" or "Do you want to do X, Y, Z... Z? Alright, let's do Z then." And now I'm not sure if it's just a good coping strategy for me or if I might be plural?

Like I'm not sure sometimes if the person doing the reassuring and the person being reassured are the same person, y'know? And sometimes it feels almost like a kind of dialogue, but other times it just feels like I'm speaking into a void? Are we median? Am I only one gal? Dunno!

And idk what if I'm just trying to like. Appropriate plurality because I think it's neat or something. I know and see a lot of systems and genuinely do think plurality is rly cool so what if I'm just trying to be plural on some level. It always feels kinda deliberate when I talk to myself

Needless to say I am very lost and thinking about it is making my head hurt and my chest tighten. Sorry if this is a bit of a long ask you don't have to respond I'm just trying to find answers however I can

I'm a bit under the weather rn im sorry if this is loopy so I want to make a comic on this eventually, Im just no good at general infographics Plurality is vast, complex, and varied. So its hard to say yes or no based on this But heres the three rules I'll follow looking for plurality without typical DID/OSDD redflags 1. If you have opposing thoughts or morals appear in your thinking process, particularly after a stressful event. 2. If you have names, images, or other things associated with these reassuring voice 3. If people say you have different "modes" or literally say you act like a differnet person sometimes and its confusing. 4. If these voices in your head arent... yours. Its hard to explain, but I feel like those with plurality could explain. --- Ultimately if you want to find out if your plural, 1st.

Be ready if you are scared, might freakout, or are actively angry or upset at these thoughts, understand that if an alter can emerge, they wont if they are under threat. You have to be kind, ready to accept them, and most importantly ready to apologize the them if you were toxic before. They can tell if you are sincere. 2nd.

Look yourself in the mirror, ask to meet anybody in there, tell them Thank you for existing.

3rd.

Imagine yourself a headspace if you don't have one. This is an imaginary world that can be anything you want from vast universes to an empty void. But create a place to meet.

Meditate, create a place to see them, to meet them, to speak with them. Be patient, focus on breathing, focus on visualizing the space. Try to exist solely within that space. Invite them there, they might show 4. Be Ready. Plurality cannot be unseen once you see it, your life will never be the same. And ultimately it could be the best thing ever, but it can be incredibly hard, rocky, and bring up alot of trauma in your life. Be sure you want to explore this and are in a point of your life you are able to handle it.

-- If theres any advice from more educated systems let me know, im not the most educated here, these are just whats worked for me.

[inkmemes]

x-men  (  2000  )  sentence  starters ↪  taken  from  the first x-man film.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“won't it kinda be cold?”

“well, that's the point, stupid.”

“and when are you gonna do this?”

“i don't know what happened.”

“i don't know... i just touched him.”

“call an ambulance!”

“just get away from me!”

“don't touch me!”

“thank you, [name]. it was quite educational.”

“the wrong person driving a car can be dangerous.”

“i didn't say they were hiding.”

“what are you doing here?”

“why do you ask questions to which you already know the answers?”

“don't give up on them, [name].”

“what would you have me do, [name]?”

i've heard these arguments before.”

“it was a long time ago.”

“are you sneaking around in here, [name]? whatever are you looking for?”

“i'm looking for hope.”

“don't get in my way.”

where are we?”

“are you gonna let this man walk away with your money?”

“i'll fight him!”

“don't hit him in the balls.”

“you said anything goes.”

“you idiot!”

“you want something new, honey?”

“i'll have a beer.”

“you owe me some money.”

“[name], let's not do this.”

“no man takes a beating like that without a mark to show for it.”

“come on, this isn't worth it.”

“i know what you are.”

“you lost your money. you keep this up, you lose something else.”

“what the hell are you doin'?”

“i'm sorry. i needed a ride.”

“i thought you might help me.”

“get out!”

“where am i supposed to go?”

“i saved your life!”

“you don't have anything to eat, do you?”

“suddenly my life isn't bad.”

“it looks cosy.”

“put your hands on the heater.”

“it's nothing personal.”

“so what kind of a name is [name]?”

“you should wear your seat belt.”

“you all right?”

“weren't you supposed to bring someone back with you?”

“what happened?”

“i have made the first move.”

“where are you going?”

“what's your hurry?”

“good morning, [name].”

“would you like some breakfast?”

“i don't need medical attention.”

“what's a magneto?”

“this is the stupidest thing i've ever heard.”

“you wanna get outta my way?”

“give me a chance.”

“i may be able to help you find some answers.”

“how do you know?”

“you're not the only one with gifts.”

“what is this place?”

“i'll make a deal with you.”

“no, i don't see a difference.”

“it's gonna be close.”

“the world will be watching.”

“where the hell are we?”

“i'm sorry.”

“so... couldn't wait to get my shirt off again, huh?”

“he could very well be older than you, [name].”

“i've never seen anything like this before.”

“it's such a strange phrase.”

“i think what you really are afraid of is me.”

“i think you'll be comfortable here.”

“where's your room?”

“so read my mind.”

“come on. you afraid you might like it?”

“what do you see?”

“you oughta be careful. i might not be there next time.”

“it was an accident.”

“what the hell have you done to me?”

“i had no choice.”

“i think it'll be easier on your own.”

“you don't like him.”

“how could you tell?”

“where is it?”

“we had a deal.”

“she's all right. she's just upset.”

“i'm sorry about last night.”

“you running again?”

“who told you that?”

“she was supposed to meet me for lunch.”

“you look around, i'll check with the ticket agent.”

“i think you should follow your instincts.”

“i can still feel him inside my head.”

“he seems to genuinely wanna help you.”

“what do you say?”

“come on, i'll take care of you.”

“you promise?”

“scream for me.”

“what the hell do you want with me?”

“whoever said i wanted you?”

“you'll have to kill me, [name].”

“care to press your luck, [name]?”

“goodbye, [name].”

“i made a terrible mistake.”

“i couldn't see what he was after ‘til it was too late.”

“[name], you can't do this alone.”

“who the hell do you think you are?”

“i want you to try and relax. i'm not going to hurt you.”

“please don't leave me! i don't want to be alone.”

“wait a minute. he's not coming with us, is he?”

“answer me. please.”

“are you going to kill me?”

“i'll understand if that comes as small consolation.”

“you actually go outside in these things?”

“sounds like a storm's comin'.”

“there's someone here.”

“there's someone here. i just can't see 'em.”

“do you know what happens to a toad when it's struck by lightning?”

“[name], is that you?”

“you're not part of the group.”

“i can't move.”

“i thought you lived at a school.”

“he's become even more powerful than i imagined.”

“are you sure you saw what you saw?”

“why do none of you understand what i'm trying to do?”

“you're so full of shit.”

“if you're really so righteous, it'd be you in that thing.”

“please! somebody please help me!”

“this is mine.”

“you owe me a scream.”

“you drop something?”

“i can't control it like that.”

“i'm taking it.”

“welcome back. i knew you'd find your way.”

“how did we do?”

“oh, that tickles.”

“how are you feeling?”

“that was a brave thing you did.”

“i think she's a little taken with you.”

“well, you can tell her my heart belongs to someone else.”

“are you going to say goodbye to them?”

“i was wrong in this particular issue and i hope, in time, i may be forgiven.”

“i kinda like it.”

“i don't want you to go.”

“what do you do when you wake up to that?”

“and i will always be there.”

[dotster001]

Headcanons of what if the reader accidentally called the staff members dad?

A/N: Gn! Reader. Hope this is what you're looking for, anon/hope you're still here cause I take forever on these 😂

"Azul asked me to bring you this paperwork," you said, handing him a stack of papers.

"Excellent, prefect. You've been incredibly helpful lately. In my generosity, I have decided to give you the next week off, and take you to a beach house!"

"Really? Thanks dad!"

Preens. You've made a huge mistake. Good luck to you. You will now be smothered by an overexcited crow.

He hasn't touched up his nest in a while. As headmaster he has no time to think about a family. But now that you called him dad, he is going home and touching up his nest so that his little chick will be comfy. Crow's like to keep their babies in the nest, some of them for years at a time. You're gonna have to tell him at some point that no, you will not be staying in a nest, you will be staying in Ramshackle to finish your education. (This will not stop him from subtly directing you in the direction of said nest)

He's picking at your hair, and straightening your outfit. He does that mom thing where he licks a handkerchief and tries to clean the dirt off your face. If you tell him to stop, he'll say something like, "now now, let papa help." God, I don't envy you.

He buys you shiny trinkets that have no value. But  he can't help his genetics. It's how he expresses affection.  You and Grim may trip over them sometimes, cause he just will drop them in the most random of places. (ex. The middle of the floor)

If you ever try to take it back, whether it's out of pure desperation or annoyance, he will sob. He will sob so hard. He's not trying to manipulate you. He just doesn't see what he did wrong.

He'd invited you over to dinner. 

"Yeah, I don't really have plans for the summer holiday yet, because, well, you know.."

He cut a piece of his steak, and said, "You can always stay with me. My daughter's are all grown, so they're rooms are empty. Plus they've been wanting to meet you." He gave you a soft smile, the kind of smile that made you feel safe.

"Sevens, that sounds great dad," you said with a sigh. Both of you froze.

He already knew you felt that way about him. But having you say it out loud fills him with fatherly pride.  It's been a while since his kids were young enough to spoil, and he's definitely missing it. Now that you've opened the box, he has all the permission he needs.

He'll act like everything's totally normal though. He still expects you to get your classwork in on time, and strongly discourages you from getting into trouble with your friends. But it somehow seems more insistent? Like when he sees you going to hang out with ADeuce, and he says to stay out of trouble, it sounds more like, "Dear god, please don't do anything stupid!"

He offers to help you with your homework a lot more often now. He had already offered from time to time before, but now it's a lot more often. Like calling him dad was giving him permission.

He gives you presents every once in a while. Expensive presents, wrapped in a neat box with a perfect bow. He acts like it's nothing. When he hands it to you he says how he just was passing through the store, and saw it, and thought it was something you needed. No biggie.

Lucius follows you around a lot now. You have no idea why…

"You were almost correct here. You need to add mustard seed, or it won't work," Crewel said as he looked over your homework with you. 

He definitely didn't have to go over your homework with you line by line, but you definitely appreciated it. 

"Oh, yeah! Thanks!" You made a note so that you wouldn't forget later.

"Not a problem. Anything for my favorite pup. Don't tell the others though," he gave you a playful wink.

"No problem, no one has to know, dad." 

Oops.

Oh? He might raise an eyebrow, or give you a smirk, but he won't say anything. It'll be like it never happened, and you can convince yourself he didn't hear it.

But he definitely did. He heard it. He goes home to his dogs that night, and picks them up, and cuddles them close, and keeps telling them, "they called me Dad!" 

Like I said, you can convince yourself he didn't hear it. But every once in a while he'll slip and do something that makes you wonder. Like he'll gently rub the top of your head. Or he'll tell you he understands if you don't get your homework in, just don't let it happen again. Or when your idiot friends drag you into a scheme, he'll get you an exemption from the detention that inevitably follows.

Crewel has a habit of adopting students already, without realizing it. Vil's your brother now, by the way.  He'll invite both of you to dinner in the guise of "checking up on my most studious pups" but it's really to just spend time with his little found family.

You won't know for sure he heard it, until after you graduate, when he offers to sponsor you through whatever you want to do. Cosign leases and loans, transportation to an interview, purchasing a uniform, letter of recommendation…. he'll do whatever you need, and when you're like, "Sir, I'm not sure how to repay you!" He'll say, "It's a dad's job to help out his pup." That's when the memory of that fateful day comes rushing back to you.

Sam let you work weekend shifts with him for extra cash. You didn't know how he always knew, but whenever the shop was closing, if you hadn't bought anything to eat that day, he'd get you something and have you eat it while he did closing tasks.

"I can eat this later, Sam. It's no trouble!" 

"You've done enough work, my little imp. You're no use to me if you starve to death," he laughed. "Plus your health is important to me, even outside of you working here."

"God, dad, you're just the best!" 

You've known him long enough to know that if he didn't hear it, his "friends" certainly did. No matter how embarrassed or flustered you are by the mistake, you know that he knows. And he won't easily forget it.

On the whole, your relationship doesn't change. To him, you saw him as Dad already. So that's that.  He doesn't need to change, and you don't need to change.

That said… now that the words have been said…he has his friends specifically watching you at all times. Just in case. If you've ever started to fall, and felt someone catch you, but when you turned around you saw no one there…that's not your guardian angel. That's your dad's shadow.

Okay…not everything stays the same. Merch from your favorite things are always in stock at the store from now on. Neither of you addresses it…but deep down you both know.

"You wanna be as tough as me, right? You need to do at least ten more pushups!"

"God, you're the worst, dad-"

Fuck.

Oh man. You've made a huge mistake. (Part two) the conversation will go as such. "Dad huh?" "Uh, I-" "Ha ha ha! Well,  you're gonna have to bulk up! Just trust your old man, he knows what's best! Fifty squats! Go!" God, you're fucked.

Wakes you up in the morning with a booming laugh, and a green smoothie of unknown origins. Once you chug the smoothie, with indiscernible flavor profile, it's time for your three mile jog. He'll go slow for you. If you complain he'll say, "Dad knows what's best for you! If you want to be as fit as me, this is only the beginning!" If you continue to complain,  he'll make you do a plank until you give in and join him on the run.

You can't look at this man and tell me he doesn't give the best hugs. Before you dropped the d word, his affection was expressed with a pat on the back. Now, when he sees you, he scoops you up in a bear hug. I don't care how tall or short you are, your feet are off the ground when he hugs you. 

Surprisingly? He's the most gung ho about who you want to date. Gym teachers see students at their worst and most desperate. He's seen Azul try to con his way out of flight class, Leona get flaky and take a nap, Cater attempting to split card his way out of laps…none of them are worthy of you! Besides, they can't even lift, bro! You're not from here, how are any of them supposed to protect your magicless, muscle less body? Now that he's dad, he's way more vocal about his opinions. Good luck.

[yestrnight]

how much do I have to pay for svarog sex 😊

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ DILF ROBOT FUCKERZ !

FROM: svarog / afab! reader

SUBJECT: the underground of belobog is a cruel, dark place where it's a competition of the fittest. sweet, little clara is lucky to have svarog as her guardian, but you're even luckier to be able to... heh, get to know him ;)

MESSAGE: nothing to pay but ur dignity babygurl 🥴

( uh me and my doujinshi writing ass at it again; reader is a SL— /svarog counterattack/; overstimulation; robot fucking… duh; svarog is treated as an oversized vibrator cuz that is what he is!!! )

you're not exactly sure when clara pulled you into her little family dynamic with svarog— the svarog, leader of the vagrants, protector of the underworld, and for the longest time, the barrier between upper and lower belobog. sure, you liked telling her the children's stories you've read from natasha's bookshelves, and accompanying her around as her personal bodyguard while she looked through scraps to find supplies for the vagrants.

but you feel like, even as clara tugs you by the sleeve, that stepping foot into the svarog's lair is a biiit too much.

your cold sweat and pale face as the large, rickety gates swing open for clara (and you) says all that needed to be said. your stiff body follows clara as she pulls you inside. "um, clara…" you start, your shaky voice betraying any kind of macho you try to summon. "i don't think this is a good idea… i'm from wildfire, you know? svarog and our relationship is a bit… y'know."

clara's a smart kid. of course she knows. but she looks up at you, as innocent and hopeful as she can be, and pleads with you. "it's okay!" she says. "i've told mr. svarog all about you before! in fact, he's the one who told me to invite you, just so he can properly thank you!"

"h-he did?!" is all you could yelp before she and her traffic light perkins whisked you away to their home.

a few moments later, you're face to face with the big bad robot himself, his lone red eye peering down at you seven foot above. you gulp, clenching onto clara's soft hand for support. "h-hello, sir svarog…" your voice cracks. "nice to meet you…?"

"my data says that meetings between parents and their children's educators are common between human life forms," his deep and rusty voicebank echoes throughout the room. "a parent-teacher conference, they call it."

you shrink further into your uniform. "um… i'm not really her teacher…" your voice is so small even you yourself can barely hear it.

"that is obvious," he states. "according to your data, you lack the qualifications for being a professional educator. nevertheless, you've taught clara a great many things. she is… happy, whenever she talks about you. i hope you continue to spend time with her."

"i told you!" clara leaps up with joy and clings to your arm. her smile is so great that it gives you a literal heartache as it squeezes from how cute she is. "mr. svarog likes you!"

you swear svarog's eye glints, and you double swear his gaze is directed at the red bandanna wrapped around your arm. you'd give him the staredown too, if you were brave enough, that is. after all, what kind of robot needed pants anyway?

that robot needed pants because he needed to hide the luggage he was packing underneath. because if he had that out in the open, you swear any of your cowardice would have evaporated and you'd climb that big hunk of metal like a tree just to get that branch inside of you.

AHEM! what you meant to say was… oh, whatever, no use saving the very little dignity you have left. 

the first time you drool over him is when he protects you from the cold. it was a wildfire expedition gone wrong and you underestimated a rogue robot, and the vagrant camp was so unfriendly without clara around. frostbite made you delirious, so any sort of fear vanished when you yelled through the rusty gates for some sort of savior.

only when the world begins to go dark do you feel a giant metal hand cup your back, and your feet swing in the air. when you finally come to, it's by the crackling fireplace. the world is still blurry when you sit up and see svarog’s hulking body looming over you. in other circumstances, you might have run away as soon as you can, but the near frostbite has made you delirious, and… well, svarog’s looking too sexy for a piece of scrap metal.

“ngh, ah ♡~” svarog’s one metal hand is large enough to encompass your whole lower body. he cups it as gently as a warforged robot can, and he bullies your throbbing clit with his finger while you’re left shaking under him. his red eye glints as he observes your expressions– drooling and eyes rolled back, a happy grin on your face as you rub back against his finger. “m– more~ more please!” his cupped hand bounces you up and down, and you squeal in delight as it heightens the stimulations even further. 

“y– you can vibrate, right?” you gasp when svarog rubs your clit juuust right, and you pleadingly look up at him with tears in your eyes. “th– that makes sense… robots all– ngh! r-right there, please– vibrate, don’t they? jus’ comes with the machines ‘n all that, hehe~”

you’re quite the talkative one, aren’t you? svarog isn’t exactly used to this, given that all the architects and elites he served in the past were so quiet and distant while they used him. “what exactly are you insinuating, [your name]?”

“oh, come on!” you pout frustratedly. “v-vibrate for me, will ya? i need more! this isn’t cutting it for me anymore– a-aaH ♡ yes yesyesyesyesyes! right there, oh my gosh, right there!!”

his data tells him that you’re at the height of ecstasy as he watches you arch your back and kick your feet. your fucked out laughs as you continue to beg for more is the sign that tells him that he’s doing a good job, and putting one and one together, he increases the vibration setting and you devolve into orgasmic screams.

“ah ♡ ah ♡! ahhh ♡♡ wh-what the fuck, svaroggg!!! ♡” the vibration on your poor, swollen clit is too much as he continues to rock you up and down while pressing the vibrating finger down. “i– i never told you to– ahh ♡– increase ittttt!”

“is this not necessary?” svarog questions. he’s so used to cold and unflinching ‘clients’ that he’s not exactly sure what to do with a human as expressive and loud as you. “records tell me that further simulation will bring you to what humans call an ‘orgasm.’”

“i’m, nggh, i’ve already orgasmed, you idiot!” you sob as you flail your legs, squirming and kicking as if that will loosen his grasp on you. “oh, ooooh~ t-too much!”

ah. so this is an orgasm. while this does not fit the algorithmic standards for the measurement of beauty, svarog surmises that this is ‘beautiful’ to him. it’s his reward for a job well-done, as all worthy leaders give to their soldiers. “apologies, [your name], but i fear that my past experiences have not given me sufficient data on what constitutes an ‘orgasm.’ clara adores you very much, and i do not wish to strain you at the expense of her anxiety. so, if you would allow it—”

something pushes at the tip of your hole, and you widen your eyes when you look and discover that he’s slowly bullying his way into you. you grip his metal arms for safety and stare at him with wide eyes.

“if all goes according to plan, you should have nothing to worry about.” you don’t know how to feel comforted when he says it in that apathetic-sounding (yet super hot) voice of his. “human orifices can be trained to take in objects larger than them– i should have you sitting on my… cock, as they call it, at the end of the day.”

[olderthannetfic]

Why do people on the internet act like they have no control over what they themselves post about their lives?

Recently, a youtuber I follow claimed to have been doxxed, and when I went looking, it was because someone addressed them by their legal name, which they posted online with their own hands and sometimes use in their own videos. How is that doxxing? You are the one who gave those information out!

There's also a site that can scour through your Reddit account (if you put the link to it in), and makes a summary of the info you posted (your age, your job, your education level, and so on), and people were shocked that Reddit would know that information about them. But you posted it! Reddit knows you have a girlfriend because you posted about your girlfriend, Reddit knows you have a job in a bank because you posted about your job in a bank! Why are you surprised??

I ran my Reddit account through it, and although it got some information right, a lot of it was wrong because I talk a lot through hypotheticals ("if I had a boyfriend," "if I were fom this country," similar to this), so the site was unable to pick up which information was the actual truth or just a hypothetical, so everything was lumped together.

"The internet is scary because it knows these things about me"

Then why the fuck did you post them in the first place, Jonathan? Delete your account if you're so scared!

--

[desceros]

i open up my tumblr to get my daily dose of turtle content after an excruciating day and immediately SPAT out my tea seeing what was happening in the rottmnt tumblr community like?? oh my god thats WILD

i presume you're referring to the dragon situation which is. well. it sure is fucking something i'll tell you that.

it's my understanding that she's currently being told she didn't do anything wrong which. ok. i'm going to need people to understand something. there are two big reasons to Why this is Such a Huge Fucking Deal.

interacting, sexually, with adults (which dragon lied about her age to do) is harmful for kids. it puts them directly into explicitly sexual places, which while Mostly Safe, do harbor some people who will latch onto vulnerable people. kids don't have a lot of the real-world experience that adults have that allow them to Spot these asshats and avoid them. kids like validation. they like feeling cool, wanted. and groomers know how to spot people that like these things and give it to them. christ, there are a lot of Adults that get this part wrong. (comprehensive sex education can reduce the chances of this happening, but considering the state of that for children being less than robust, it's safe to assume Most kids aren't being taught the sighs of a proper, actual predator and not 'dude in a white van with some candy.')

interacting, sexually, with kids, can get adults into a MASSIVE amount of trouble. there is no recourse for this. it ruins your reputation, it puts you on a fucking List, it can get you jail time, it destroys your ability to get housing or a job, etc.

so yes. this was all bad because a kid was doing sex stuff. but for everyone who i've seen saying "ohhh we all looked at smut and stuff when we were teenagers, she didn't do anything wrong", yes, she did. because she INTERACTED WITH ADULTS ABOUT IT. yes, we all know that teenagers read smut. we all know that you can click onto someone's blog. frankly, in my opinion, there's never going to be a way to stop that. but having that teenager come into adult spaces and TALK to adults, SEND them asks, POST erotic art, SEND THAT LEWD ART TO ADULTS, DO EROTIC ROLEPLAY WITH OTHER ADULTS, is beyond the pale. that's not "a teenager reading smut like we all did." that's a minor violating the trust and consent of adults who have said they don't want to interact with minors.

i want you to imagine a scenario where we have someone we Know is a liar. she says she's 17 in two months. but is she? she's lied about it before. but let's say we believe her this time. let's say we trust her when she says she's 18 now. we start letting her interact again. we talk about erotica with her again. except oops she's still not 18, she's 16 and her mommy just checked on her blog and sees she's talking about porn with adults. or she hears a headcanon she doesn't like and decides to narc on that adult for sexting with a child. or one of her friends decides they don't like how i talk to people, so they say something.

do you see the problem? sure, the kid is in danger. but so is the adult. the adult who thought they were interacting with another adult, but because that kid lied, now they're the one in trouble. oh, and fun fact, there is typically no recourse against the kid in this scenario. the adult's life is ruined, and the kid gets to walk away.

there are very few adult-only spaces left on the internet. we put up signs on our blogs that say "we talk about sex. minors do not interact." because we want these spaces for ourselves. it's so disrespectful and childish and stupid and selfish and bratty for kids to think "oh, i'm adult enough for that, actually" or "well everyone i'm following is an adult, but they all say minors don't interact, so i'll just lie and say i'm an adult, heehee." it reveals a lack of character and regard for others that disgusts me. it tells me that you don't care about my wishes, you will do whatever you want to get what you want. i did not consent to speak with a child. it's vile behavior, and people who can't comprehend why the adults here are so upset because "oh you don't owe anyone your age, we all read smut as kids, what's the big deal, it's totally fine" are clearly not using any amount of critical thinking because they learned that their favorite artist is a minor and they don't want to rock the boat and lose access to it which, by the way, maybe think about what that says about you.

[fannishstuff]

FIDDLEFORD PSA!!!!!!

OKAY, THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME ABSOLUTELY BONKERS FOR A WHILE NOW.

Dear Fiddleford McGucket fanartists:

First of all: draw how you want. The following is not intended to be judgmental, just educational. <3

On to business:

Here is how you fingerpick a banjo.

This is three-finger. There are more styles, but this is how I play. (I did not include fingerpicks because Fidds doesn't use them in the show and they're a pain to draw; you can also play just fine without them, although they are useful.)

Fingerpicking is usually done on a five-string banjo. Old Man McGucket's theme sounds like it's fingerpicked to me. Please note that your pinky and ring finger are planted on the banjo itself, next to the strings.

The first two images are to show posture, the third image is what it would look like to draw:

When I'm just holding my banjo and not playing it, my pinky and ring finger just naturally rest this way because it's comfy.

Here is how you play clawhammer style.

This is just an approximation; I almost never play clawhammer. The big thing is that your fingers curl in in a "claw" and you pick with your thumb.

Here are the tuning pegs on a five-string banjo.

In the show, Fiddleford has a four-string banjo, not five-string. (We see two banjos; they are both four-string.) Honestly, that surprised me. I'm not sure what the folk scene looked like in the 80s, but most players you see today have five-strings, so I think they were just streamlining the design.

EDIT: I was wrong! His banjo has a disappearing and reappearing fifth nut!

A four-string banjo has four tuning pegs at the top, like any other instrument. The fifth tuning peg is about a third of the way down the neck.

BONUS: Nobody gets into this much detail, but clever eyes will notice that the string widths look funny. If you have played a bass or guitar, you're used to the top string being lowest and thickest, the bottom string - which is the "first" string - being highest and thinnest. A four string banjo is tuned like this, but with a five-string banjo, the fifth string is the same diameter as the first.

Anyway, there are plenty of great banjo video and image tutorials on the internet if you want to get into the weeds, but I got the impression that a lot of you have literally never seen a banjo being played often enough to even realize how different it is from a guitar. Some people absolutely do strum banjos like guitars - in fact, I think that's more common with four-strings - but the McGucket music we hear is very obviously not being strummed.

There! Now you may freely choose to draw his hand however you want to, and it won't be from a place of ignorance. <3

(Oh, one last thing: that round thing that comprises the body of the banjo is literally just a drum. Drumming it is fun. You can and should draw Fiddleford tapping his banjo with the tips of his fingers like I do.)

[gunsandspaceships]

Tony's surgeries in the cave: Part 1. Why there were 2 surgeries

As I mentioned earlier and as suggested in this post, Tony had to undergo two surgeries in the Afghan cave: the first to remove the shrapnel and attach the electromagnet to his sternum, the second to implant the socket for the arc reactor, pacemaker for Tony's heart, and finally the reactor.

We were not shown the second surgery on screen, but there had to be one for the following reasons:

Yinsen did not implant reactor's housing and pacemaker during the first surgery.

Here is the only shot from the movie showing Yinsen inserting the electromagnet into Tony's chest. We don't see the socket for the arc reactor or a huge hole. Because at that time, Yinsen obviously had no plans to place a reactor there. All he did - bolted a shallow electromagnet to Tony's sternum.

Yinsen was not an engineer. Despite what you can read on the MCU fandom wiki page about him, he wasn't "Master Engineer". You don't have to be an engineer to know that electromagnets attract metal. Yinsen was smart, educated, and had extensive experience dealing with shrapnel wounds. That's all. As we see in the movie, he wasn't particularly confident with technology. Under those circumstances, he could not build a pacemaker and an arc reactor housing on his own. You can see how complex it was in that post about reactor. The only person who could do it was Tony. And during the first surgery he certainly wasn't able to build anything.

For all the technology that was implanted into Tony's body, Tony and Yinsen needed a lot of things, such as titanium, a pacemaker or parts to create one, surgical mesh, etc. Unlike rusty electromagnets and car batteries, these things are not found in caves. They had to order it or take from other stuff they were given after the first surgery.

Making things like a pacemaker and the socket takes time. If you are Tony Stark - less time, if you are a biomedical engineer - more time, not an engineer - much more time or eternity. No way Yinsen would have been able to do this before/during the first surgery even if he had all the necessary components.

Tony didn't need a pacemaker during the first surgery. Yinsen didn't mention that something's wrong with Tony's heart itself, that Tony needs a pacemaker or that he implanted one. Something happened to Tony's heart after that, so pacemaker became a necessity, and it was implanted along with reactor.

Complexity of the procedure: as you could see in the post, such a surgery requires serious changes in the patient's chest, affecting the bones, heart, lungs, muscles, nerves, etc. It would require a huge amount of time, a lot of drugs, including a good general anesthetic (chloroform and an awake patient are incompatible with such a procedure), a ventilator, and a lot of recovery time.

You're probably thinking that Marvel made a mistake and forgot about the second surgery, but I'm telling you, they just didn't show it for the sake of time and PG-13 rating. It was there, and I'll prove it. Stay tuned.

[archivalofsins]

Oh second probably more important discovery is that the audience has accidently spread misinformation about the Juvenile Law of Japan in regards to Mu's case.

Not willfully or anything. It's more than likely that when most people did a cursory search for the information they found the age fourteen and ran with it.

The fact of the matter is,

Under the Juvenile Law, the term “juvenile delinquency” is used to describe not only “juvenile crime” but also other forms of misconduct committed by juveniles. According to the Law, there are three types of “juvenile delinquent” (Article 3): Any juvenile above the age of fourteen who commits a crime. Any juvenile under the age of fourteen who performs an act in violation of any criminal law or ordinance. Any juvenile under the age of twenty of whom there are apprehensions that he/she may commit a crime or perform an act in violation of a criminal law or ordinance in view of his/her character or surroundings, because of the existence of the following reasons; A. That he/she has a propensity to disobey the reasonable control of his/her guardian; That he/she stays away from home without good reason; That he/she associates with a person of criminal tendency or an immoral person, or frequents any place of dubious reputation; That he/she has the propensity to perform any act injurious to his/her own or others’ morals.

The Japanese Juvenile law covers a range of ages not just individuals under the age of fourteen. The Milgram prisoners protected and considered juveniles under Japan's extensive juvenile law (based on their reported ages at incarceration.),

Sakurai, Haruka: 17

Kashiki, Yuno: 18

Kusunoki, Mu: 16

Momose, Amane: 12

This one's for @purgemarchlockdown specifically knowledge be upon ye,

"My crimes? Isn't what you're doing to us a crime?"

In Japan, criminal capacity is generally defined as an ability to distinguish right from wrong and to control one’s activities on the basis of that distinction. That the Penal Code denies the criminal capability of minors under the age of fourteen, however, is not interpreted as meaning that persons under the age of fourteen lack such abilities. Rather, it is accepted that the Penal Code is based upon a viewpoint of criminal policy that it is better to abstain from punishing such minors in order to prevent future crimes.

Milgram's goal isn't to turn you back into decent human beings and get you back into normal society.

Moreover, Juvenile Law, based on “the aim of the healthy growth and development of juveniles”(Article 1), gives priority to protective dispositions which aim at rehabilitation and environmental adjustment of the juvenile delinquent over criminal penalties, even for those who have reached the age of criminal liability.

"Well I won't judge you, I believe there are things more important than laws."

The Japanese Penal Code provides that the act of a person under the age of fourteen shall not be punished (Article 41). Moreover, according to Japanese Juvenile Law, in so far as the juvenile is under the age of twenty, the Family Court in principle shall not transfer the case to the Public Prosecutor for imposing a criminal disposition, except for certain cases (Article 20). Thus, under current law, even those who possess criminal capacity should be treated with protective (educational) measures in principle, and be punished criminally only in some exceptional cases.

"Was her crime really so infinitely worse than the other murders?"

The revised Juvenile Law, to a certain extent, expanded the range of possible punishment of juveniles. A series of serious crimes committed by minors hardened public opinion toward tougher punishment of juveniles and it became a spur to the revisions. The main revisions are as follows : (1) As a general rule, the Family Court should transfer the case to the Public Prosecutor, by means of a ruling, when the juvenile over the age of sixteen has caused the death of the victim by acts done with criminal intent. (However, the court may not perform such a transfer, if the court judges that measures other than criminal disposition are proper for the juvenile considering the result of the investigation into his/her motive and the circumstances of the offence, the situation after the offence, the personality, age and behavior of the juvenile, and also the juvenile’s environment.) [Article 20 ( 2)].

"I-Isn't there something called the Juvenile Law?"

There is. However, so long as you're 16 or older, you'll be tried under the general criminal law.

8(2) Previously, the Family Court was not permitted to transfer the case to the Public Prosecutor, if the juvenile had not reached the age of sixteen at the time of the transfer. Consequently, even though fourteen- and fifteen-year-old juveniles were held by the criminal law to possess criminal capacity, they were actually excluded from the possibility of a criminal disposition. The revised Juvenile Law unified the age of criminal capacity and of possible transfer to the Public Prosecutor, by abolishing the age limit on transfer.

Additionally regarding Mu and Amane,

The Penal Code defines the age above fourteen as the age of criminal capacity. However, as mentioned above, under the previous Juvenile Law, the Family Court was prohibited to transfer a case to the Public Prosecutor, if the offender was under sixteen years of age at the time of the transfer. Consequently, for juveniles who were fourteen or fifteen years old, it was actually impossible to impose a criminal disposition, despite the fact that they were affirmed by the criminal law to possess criminal capacity.

Though the law has been changed now it's interesting to note that the writer choose to have Es and Mu reference the previous law specifically within the series.

Now back to Amane,

With respect to criminal dispositions, the Penal Code uniformly denies the criminal capacity of minors under the age of fourteen. With respect to protective dispositions, however, there is no such minimum level of chronological age under which the minor cannot receive protective measures. Protective measures, rather, are decided individually by the particular proneness of a juvenile to commit a delinquent act in the future and the necessity of having protective measures imposed by the government instead of the guardian, taking into account such factors as delinquent conduct, personal history, temperament, family background, and environment of the juvenile, etc.

This all once again reaffirms Jackalope's statement from Es' voice drama,

"I mean, if we just judge them according to the law, then there's no point in you being here."

Along with highlighting that Amane was right when she said that what Es and Milgram were doing was a crime at the start of the series. Everyone here is criminal but not everyone here is a murderer~

Which is like getting the worlds worst participation award. Congrats you didn't kill someone let's just ignore the civil rights violations.

Source: Japan / The criminal responsibility of minors in the Japanese legal system.

[saunteredserpent]

I don't want Aziraphale and Crowley to become human, when all is said and done, in the finale of series 3 and the show as a whole. Because it's

in my personal opinion going against who they both are in terms of who they've both been all along, and

not at all what they deserve for an ending to begin with.

Most specifically, Crowley.

Hear me out, because I was just talking about this with a good friend of mine.

It is stated, verbatim in the book itself, that "Crowley [is] an optimist." Now granted, sure, that the sentence following that one also mentions him being an optimist strictly in terms of believing the universe itself will always turn out in his favor; that "he [will] come out on top; that the universe [will] look after him".

Is this arguably selfish of him? Maybe. But we'll (probably) come back to that. If not, and I forget to circle back to it in this particular post, I'll probably just talk about it in a different post later on.

That being said: buckle in, because not only did I just talk about this with a good friend of mine, but I'm fairly certain I talked her ear off about it as well. I have a feeling the rest of this post might possibly get lengthy, so I'm putting it under a readmore as a courtesy to the rest of you. you're welcome xoxo /lh

Crowley is a demon, right? An optimistic demon, who loves listening to Queen, and driving his Bentley, and collecting plants, and drinking wine and Talisker whiskey, and indulging in spy thrillers, and watching humans fall in love (this last one I DEFINITELY will come back to), sure... but still a demon nonetheless. I mean for fucks sake, one of his very first assignments as one, is to "get up there and make some trouble" — 'up there' being the Garden of Eden, and 'make some trouble' being, arguably, to tempt Eve.

I say 'arguably' because as far as I know, we don't... actually know that he was really told to tempt her in the first place. For all we know, 'make some trouble' could have meant anything. It could have meant 'tempt the first woman into disobeying her creator', sure. Or it could have meant causing rain clouds to downpour over a garden where no rain had yet fallen, and in doing so ruin that perfect little image of paradise. Or it could have even meant terrorizing the other animals in his Serpent form.

It could have meant any of those things, and more.

I believe Crowley chose temptation, for a reason — and hear me out: I believe said reason in him choosing to tempt the first humans into a little rebellion, a little disobedience in learning right from wrong after all, actually has to do with why he, himself, was cast out.

Unless I'm remembering wrong we haven't actually been given the reason Crowley was cast out; but our best educated guess, as a collective fanbase, is that he was given such a punishment for daring to ask questions. For wanting to know things. And I won't say this next thing is a good thing of him to have done so, per se, in terms of potential pettiness and whatnot, but.

What if Crowley tempted Eve into wanting to gain the knowledge she did... all because he was denied answers, himself? All because when he wanted to know things, himself, he was also punished? I don't know if anyone else has brought this up as an arguable point already — please free to point me in the right direction if they have — but Crowley being cast out for knowing, but doubting and/or wanting to know more things could very, very much be a direct parallel to Adam and Eve being cast out for possibly having doubts and/or questions, themselves, on top of having gained new knowledge they weren't supposed to have gained in the first place.

What if this very first little temptation of his (and again, I'm not saying it's a good thing, per se) was also the first means of him finding a connection with humanity, despite his position and nature as a demon?

Because as we move on, over the course of the next several thousand years, Crowley remains on Earth almost the entire time, only reporting back to Hell whenever he absolutely needs to; otherwise, at least as far as we've been shown, avoiding Hell if he can help it. He remains on Earth — by doing so, acting on self-indulgence by partaking in the many delights and pleasures (and even some of the vices) that humanity ends up having to offer.

Not only that, but in doing so he as an immortal demon also allows himself the joy of watching us, humanity as a species, evolve, grow, adapt, and change, every step of the way... and in doing so, falls in love with us, humanity, as a whole. He falls in love with us (though of course in a much different way than he falls in love with a certain angel), and all we have to give.

Crowley, as a demon, watches us, as humans, in everything we come up with, in everything we invent, and also watches us in everything we do — the bad and the good, for all of the above.

He watches us hate. He watches us go to war with each other, and destroy each other and ourselves, over the thousands of years. And I like to imagine that, frankly, it always breaks his heart watching us do so.

However—

I also like to imagine that at the same time it's broken his heart watching us destroy, and hate, every time, it's given him happiness and hope watching us not only create and fall in love... but also inspire.

I like to imagine that for the latter, specifically, we've not only brought him hope that things can and do get better (because at this rate he's seen it all from us) — but also that we've inspired him as well.

Because what if that's the beauty of it. What if it's him having fallen in love with humanity not only for the little things and little gestures that we have come up with and invented as a whole that have brought him, as a demon, joy — but also the thoughts and feelings, the sheer number of complex emotions, we've over the course of our very existence become capable of rendering not out of each other but also out of him as an entirely different being.

What if we're the reason he's an optimist in the first place.

What if all of that is the other big part as to why Crowley, alongside Aziraphale, was against Armageddon in the first place. Not just the material things we've invented that he enjoys — but everything we've made him feel for himself, and inspired him with.

Of course none of this is to say that it isn't or can't be the same to be said of Aziraphale. I'm more than convinced that he has also been inspired by us, and felt several emotions of his own, in watching us over the thousands of years.

My point for this post is specifically about Crowley, because in my opinion, as stated already... is what if he's not only connected with us all along, but had somehow found a (albeit, arguably, flawed) way to connect with us from the very start, and will continue to do so?

I don't want him and Aziraphale to become human because I feel that in having been given the opportunity to fall in love with and feel inspired by humanity, and all the ways we've grown, and all we've ever had to offer, as a whole, they also deserve the opportunity to continue to fall in love with us, and continue to be inspired by us.

TLDR; if they're written off as either willingly giving up or being stripped of their immortality in the end, then sure, yes, that's them being provided the opportunity to grow old together and pass on together., etc etc etc. Arguably, that could make for a decently happy ending in and of itself. But. That's ALSO them being robbed of the opportunity to, for the rest of humanity's existence, continue to watch us grow, and to continue to appreciate us and all we've ever been capable of inventing, and will continue to invent, as well as any and all other things we also become capable of causing them to feel as time passes — all while we ourselves, proceed to evolve and grow, and create, and love, even more as a species.

And being robbed of getting to continue to witness such a thing out of humanity isn't what they, in my opinion, deserve.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, y'all. xoxo ✌🏻✌🏻