#if you find this shit interesting whatever

[hfjonewiki]

"payjay becoming canon felt forced and random" to you maybe. but not me. because i've been here for 12 years and remember a time when payjay was THE object show yaoi ship of all time. we didn't have 4x or whatevers going on with those two c2bc guys back then. outside of a few fringe bfdi ships here and there, payjay was all we had. payjay ran so that all your dogshit boring toxic yaoi could fall on its ass and die. payjay has existed before a lot of modern ii fans were even BORN. finding payjay art on deviantart back in 2012 was how i found out that shipping two characters of the same gender was even an option. while there's an argument to be made about ships becoming less interesting when they're made canon, if one more person says that canon payjay is "out of nowhere" i am going to start shitting blood.

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

IF your requests are open, could you please do Hyugo, Geo, and Crowe with a calm s/o that makes them feel safe? Like, for Hyugo, the s/o is probably the big spoon, (was thinking of slightly taller but I think slightly shorter is better..?), someone who just loves to hold him - and for that little time, Hyugo is in heaven. And so is s/o. (Just giving suggestions, you don't have to follow the script.) For Crowe, it's probably similar? But Crowe is the prince charming - meaning s/o would probably have to be hard to fluster (?). The s/o would probably kick some ass if anyone dared say anything about all those three in a ny situations - or if anyone talked shit about the s/o's close friends in general. Geo is probably a completely different story. He doesn't like to be touched - but little things, such as little gifts (or maybe flowers) and the s/o's presenece makes his feel strangely at ease.

I LOVE your work! I can't really figure out how to write my oneshots, especially hcs - but if I ever do, I'll make sure to tag you!

WITHIN YOUR ARMS

Thank you so much for the kind words! And, if you want some advice on writing oneshots or HCs, just press buttons on your keyboard that at least somewhat personify what you're trying to say; but either way make SURE you tag me, whatever it is you cook up I'll feast upon till the day I wither and die. 😔

-- Signed solemnly by @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer AKA Sky Fort(resse)s and Burning Citadels <3

In Geode's case, you serve as one of the few people - that he's already well acquainted with - whom he trusts. Fully trusts. He doesn't know whether to be irked or content with this innate feeling, so he does what he typically does with feelings - repression.

He's very rarely someone who cracks, or makes it aware how weak he truly feels, the only people who have are Hyugo and maybe his parents - adoptive parents, but parents nonetheless. The point is, that odd trust makes him feel that if he were to crack and have the dams break, you'd do something different. You wouldn't try to rebuild said dam or freeze the cascading waterfalls of tears with ice...you'd simply let the waterworks run, let these feelings run wild and about, until they find their due course down wherever it is that feelings go.

Not that he will, of course. That'll never happen, especially if sober. The only way tears'll ever happen is if Geo's tipsy or high. He's never been under the influence. Doesn't want to be either.

The only reason he starts somewhat talking to you is if you're close with Crowe or Brittney. Or if either of them - or even Deryl - ask him to be more open with you.

He appreciates your nonchalant nature, you've got a moral compass and plenty of passion - but you're logical, reasonable, tolerable. He finds himself approving of you eventually.

You both get closer typically through Deryl or Crowe being with you lot, the former tends to drag Geo along regardless, while the latter wants to simply relax with his friends - and you lmao.

Anyway he'll only start cracking when you show a more serious interest in being his friend, whether that be inviting him somewhere or getting him a small gift. "Did Deryl put you up to this? What even is it."

"It's from me! We're friends - at least I want us to be - so, yeah. Heard you like these. :))"

"Oh". *long pause* "Thank...s. It's appreciated. :]"

Soon enough he decides he likes you enough to hang out with you alone, and that's when the true bonding starts. You become good friends pretty quickly - especially comparing to Geo's friendship track records and in turn it takes him significantly longer to discover he likes you. Not simply platonically.

To put this simply, Geo's a little bitch who fears rejection and humiliation and thus, you will have to be the confessor in terms of these romantic feelings.

Insert long dramatic timeskip.

When together, Geo gently, gingerly, starts being less stoic around you, he still detests being touched, but he'll allow a handhold every now and then, he enjoys knowing you're comfortable and content with him. Only allows things like hugging when severely comfortable around you, and only when you're asleep. You'll probably be watching a movie together and you 'fall asleep' (or maybe you actually do, who knows) on his shoulder, and after about 20 minutes that man is grinning to himself. Not that you'll ever know, but the satisfaction he gets is insane.

This man will also serve as the perfect #malewife. Will cook, will clean, will drive, will be a jealous little shit. There's no way he isn't. He definitely spends hours in bed contemplating what to do about these nuisances. ALSO GETS RED AND FLUSHED EASILY!!!!!!!!!! He blushes so hard his skin looks red. That's probably why he looks up at the sky when around you lets be fr.

In terms of sleeping in the same bed, it'll probably never happen. Firstly, his touch aversion; secondly it's normal for couples to sleep separately in Japanese culture anyway, so for him that was always the norm growing up. It'd take a LOT to get you both together, but let's make some magic happen and you're in a one-bed scenario (check out that one HC I did of this trope btw).

Only touching that happens will probably be hand-holding, but while that may seem small for most, for Geo that's insane. For him to initiate touch is even crazier, so if he does, you better stay with him. If something happens that makes you either scared or otherwise require comfort, he might let you hold him - him being preferably in a couple of sweaters to ignore the feelings (also I HC he's cold all the time) - BUT he's big spooning. He is not risking his hair being touched, no sir no ma'am.

"Hm. >:)" *silently smiles in the dead of night in a Japanese manner*

For Hyugo, you're one of - if not the - only thing that's remained steady in his deranged, messy life. He's surrounded by falseties, by masks, by faces of people who either hide their truth from him, or - like his brother - made it apparent how willingly they would be to leave him alone within this web he's entangled himself into, been forced to be entangled into.

He's been raised in wealth and fame, so he's learnt about reputation - and the vitality of safety - from a young age, an age that should've been saved for childlike naiveties...but not Hyugo. Since his youth he's either guarded, watched or puppeteered - if not by his family then by his reputation, and if not for reputation then the endless scandalous things he's gotten up to.

He's learnt to rely on intuition, on logic, on maintaining unpredictability that can leave most confused or deterred from pursuing any suspicious things he might've revealed sometime ages ago. He's got a good memory to, how else is he meant to memorise every alibi and lie he's ever uttered?

Either way, he never was able to simply be. To exist in himself and feel serene, at ease. Until he met you, that is; and it wasn't a short process either! This man's got intense, well-rooted trust issues. He fears attachment, but alas his heart decided that this one - this beautiful stranger - was someone...stable. Someone trustworthy, someone safe.

He's by far not a saint, he knows it, some nights it even haunts him...on rarer times he wonders if he's even got any humanity left. If he has any empathy left. Love left. The thought scares him, oddly enough. Until you come along and remind him that clearly not, because he feels something akin to devotion in terms of you, especially after a long time of knowing you.

When he does grow close to you, in a sense that blends the lines of platonic and romantic, he sees you as his aegis. His sword and shield, his camouflage and beacon. Not that he'll admit the extent of thee feelings, of course not. He's got a facade to maintain, or 100.

When you two eventually try out a relationship and find it works well, find you guys have stuck it out together for a year or so and decide to live together, he serves as a domestic cook and tutor. He'll help you as much as he can, when not MIA or finding himself occupied by important-people-duties.

In terms of sleeping in the same bed, it'll take a LONG time to get to that, but say you two are watching a movie and he ends up resting his head on your shoulder, gingerly nuzzling into your neck and then, before either of you know it, he falls asleep.

According to himself, one of the best nights of sleep he's ever gotten. And that begs the thought, was it you specifically? yes it was

He thinks about it, and overtime notices he's less anxious around you, his inner turmoil finds pause in your arms, and soon enough he's wrapped around your abdomen as many nights as he can get - and if you're willing. You've a calm presence, a soothing soul and your touch is a balm to the many wounds he's earned and suffered, both physical and mental - murder takes its toll on everyone. He'll rarely say it, but your calm is one of the things that's kept him relatively normal.

100% snuggle switch, loves being the little spoon on darker nights, where the intrusive memories and haunting thoughts return to drive him insane; loves being the big spoon when he's in a protective or possessive mood. If he's feeling affectionate he'll be your personal koala. "Haah. You're many things, Y/N, but you're not false and I pray - for both our sakes - that we'll remain together, that I can stay together with you. For you...I'm willing to try." OR... "Hello. Goodnight." *snores in Japanese*

Hyugo will sometimes decide to flirt with you. If you're calm enough to not appear fazed, he's gonna be the biggest tease possible, kissing either your neck or cheek when he's off to do whatever. Enjoys seeing your reactions to things he does, it brings him immense joy to have you feeling - and expressing - your contentment.

May or may not mutter itadakimasu before annihilating your cunt. May or may not get extremely horny at the prospect of feeling so at ease in your arms, because while being inside your arms are nice, he can think of a few places that'd also be real nice to fit in.

I'd also like to say I'm betting my amygdala on the fact that Hyugo sounds really melodious when he whines. He loves being touched, also. If he feels safe with you, you holding him or touching him makes him feel heavenly. He loves it, and he definitely grows to loving you as well.

In Crowe's case, you've already been friends ages, but even from the second his gaze landed on you he knew he was gone. Despite your camaraderie starting during the pinnacle of a fight he'd thrown himself into to aid you, feeding his newly innate desire - need - to protect you...he knew he was gone.

He probably hadn't realized the extent of it, but even after that fight ended and especially when you finally accepted his hand in friendship, seeing that stoic and distrustful glare turn into a gaze of a simmering warmth, a soothing calm and acceptance. In short, he found you ethereal.

And it was over the course of this friendship that he recognised how truly trustworthy and reliable you are. You're non-judgmental, you voice your concerns, you remain a force of stability amongst the dramas and chaos that is university. You provide a calm to his boisterous and troubled life. You're got an authenticity about you, another trait that Crowe adores you for.

He's got baggage, he knows it, yet with you he feels unburdened. Free from all the shit that's piling up behind the scenes, the rumours and the scandals and the insanity. You offer him a respite from that. An escape, one he ironically enough wants to be trapped in forever, as long as you allow it.

Crowe enjoys making playful remarks, flirtatious compliments; especially when he's jealous or feeling particularly bold. Typically you either bite and flirt back, or coolly brush it off, giving a snarky "I know." or "I'm honoured you think of me so highly."

Anyway Crowe catches on to his own feelings rather quickly, and is the most logical about acting on them. He aids you with homework, studies alongside you, spends as much time with you as possible. But as the years of uni go by, you both grow more distant due to busy schedules and a general social growth and/or decline on your part.

Crowe became a council member, the class president, gaining leadership roles and popularity as time went on, but at the end of the day; nobody - not even his current friendgroup, as awesome as they are - can compare to how safe and genuinely at peace he was with you. By your side.

Now let me say, for the sake of the argument and these HCs, that one day you both lovedrunkenly confess under the stars and have primal carnal sex and in general are so intuned with one-another spiritually physically emotionally that you guys end up together, like how you were always destined to be.

In terms of dating, Crowe will amp up his flirting, especially if you react to it subtly, or indicate you like it. He respects your boundaries of course, that'll never change. He also gets the #malewife title btw.

When you both end up sleeping in the same bed, it doesn't take too long for that to happen, considering how long you've known each other, and while yes sometimes you two go at it and have more carnal loving heated passionate *coughs*...ah, sorry. Anyway! Despite how invested you both are in each other, on nights where it's quiet, where you're listening to each other's heartbeats and breaths (a DJ can make a backing track just from that tbh), Crowe holds you in his arms and resists the urge to weep. Because he has you, in his arms, in his bed, in his heart and soul; and you have him in your heart, your mind, sometimes even between your thighs.

He's so in love with you it's beyond words, touches or gifts. He feels so safe and loved with you, knowing you'll support and defend him as passionately as he does you...and his heart swells.

Will typically serve as the big spoon, loves holding you in his arms, pressing you to his chest and feeling you softly breathe on his skin. Can be a little spoon sometimes, and whenever you wrap yourself around him, he sleeps a tad more soundly than he would normally with you.

"I love you...God I love you so much it hurts..."

OR

"Darling, you're everything to me...and you always were and will be. Eternally."

[goddessofroyalty]

Prompt from AO3: I have a request if you don't mind, I wanted to see if Silco ever gets the vibe that he knows Jayce would be a good mate to Viktor by seeing how protective and attentive he is to Viktor's needs and shields him from unwanted criticisms from Piltites snobs and Vander looks at Silco like, "Shit, he reminds me of me." And Silco just likes to make life harder for Jayce just cuz you gotta look out for the best for your eldest, lmao. 

A/N:  

Didn’t include Vander in this and I had it that Viktor wasn’t there because I think it makes it even stronger for Jayce to still be completely willing to go in to bat for Viktor without knowing either Viktor or Silco are watching.  

Tags: omegaverse, discrimination  

----------------

The sound of something being slammed on a table echoes through the room, followed by total silence as those in attendance at the Piltover gathering are apparently all stunned by it.  

Ridiculous, as far as Silco’s concerned. If he were in the Last Drop it would hardly have even been heard over the revelry of the patrons. Not even worth thinking about without anything else to indicate they might have a fight to breakup before it ends with broken furniture.  

In Piltover its worth cutting through the crowd to see which of the so-called ruiling elite has gotten drunk on fizzy wine and made a fool of themselves. It’s not useful in that there is nothing to be gained from the information, but it is a good memory to have when they are trying to block his proposals for them to do something to rectify the harm they are doing to Zaun.  

It is not Hoskal like Silco had half expected but Talis that is the source of the noise.  

And Viktor’s partner does not look at all that inebriated. The hand resting on the hors d'eurves table next to him seemingly not the result of him trying to catch himself after a drunken stumble that is normally the cause in Piltover for such noises but instead what Silco would expect to find back home – a sign of anger and a show of aggression.  

“Say it again,” Jayce says to the man standing in front of him. An investor who clearly thought highly of himself despite coming from one of the lower-Piltover houses going by how he had stuck up his nose to Silco when Piltover’s ridiculous social rules had demanded they must be introduced.  

Viktor’s pet Piltite wasn’t too prone to fits of ego. It would be interesting to know what the investor had said that had the boy actually acting like the alpha he apparently was.  

“You’re not seriously going to make a big deal over it?” the investor asks with an awkward laugh because he also must be feeling painfully aware that he is smaller than Talis, who, almost uniquely among Piltites, possesses the body of someone who has had to actually work to make a living.  

“Say it again,” Jayce repeats. His hand on the table clenching.  

Silco spots Councilor Medarda hurrying over from where she had been, coming to intervene before Talis’ behavior tarnishes her reputation by association. Councellor Kiramman also making her way through the watching crowd, waving the Enforcer guards that apparently must be at all Piltite social events over as she does.  

The investor gives another little laugh, looking Talis up and down as if he is an idiot. He glances around at the crowd as he stands tall again. Full of cocky Piltite arrogance.  

“I don’t know what that Undercity runt gives you but it cannot be worth letting him use your work to prop up whatever criminal dealings he’s involved in.”  

Viktor.  

The ungrateful spoilt piece of shit that had clearly never known a single hardship in his life had insulted Silco’s son.  

“You take that back,” Talis snarls, his hand clenched on the table now in movement.  

“Jayce!” Councilor Medarda manages to intercept before it can connect and rightfully knock the Piltite trash to the ground. Her hand gripping hold of Talis’ arm keeping it by his side. And the brief rage that had seemed to fill Talis returns to the usual Piltite authority.  

“Oh good,” Talis says when Councilor Kiramman and the Enforcers reach them as well. “You can escort him out.”  

“Now hang on-” the piece of shit of an investor says, looking confused that he might face consequences for his actions.  

Talis breaks from Councilor Medarda’s grip and faces off the undeserving shit of a man, giving Silco some hope he will still hit him for his insults against Viktor. Actually use the alpha strength he had been given for something other than peacocking for Silco’s child.  

“My partner,” Talis starts with a weight on the word that gives no question who he is talking about or the importance of their relationship, “is the reason Hextech exists. And Hextech is the reason we are here tonight. You do not deserve to be here if you would talk about him like that.”  

“I-”  

Go on, say something that’ll push it. Let’s see if Talis has the balls to actually punch.  

“No. Get out,” Talis cuts off, looking at the Enforcers expectantly like they actually give a shit about someone discriminating against a Zaunite. “And you can forget about any deal. Or your family ever being involved with Hextech in the future.”  

The message is clear and yet the piece of shit still goes to open his mouth to argue.  

“You should leave,” Councilor Medarda tells him with a pointed nod to the Enforcers.  

Silco is sure they don’t actually think he’s done anything wrong. But an instruction from a councilor has them ushering him out without any of the force Silco has personally experience from them.  

“Well then,” Councilor Kiramman says with a forced, polite smile to those gathered watching the show. “Now that has been dealt with shall we return to what we were doing?”  

The sound of Piltite social gathering starts up again forced as it is and Talis seems to deflate. Glancing around as the two Councilors mutter at him. Silco can’t hear what they’re saying from his distance but he is sure it is chastisement for Talis defending his partner.  

Silco raises his brow when Talis’ gaze finds his and it has the boy breaking from his two handlers to practically shuffle over. Head hung low like his is a chastised pup and not Piltover’s Golden Boy, who can demand a person removed despite the others in attendance not thinking they did anything wrong.  

“I know Viktor can handle himself and doesn’t need protecting,” Talis says, his head low in submission and voice quiet. “And I know it’s nothing new. But I-”  

“You don’t need to apologize to me boy,” Silco tells him before Talis ruins the respect he earned from his display.  

“I- yes, of course. I know,” Talis mutters. Not that Silco thinks he does at all.  

[docholligay]

Immediately after season one

My brain is a puddle out my ears, but hey! Only 400 more words and I'll have managed the 3000! Wish me luck!

This is about 700 words.

Minako wasn’t stupid. She paid attention to things, even when people thought she didn’t. That was part of the game. She paid attention, and she remembered things. Okay, they weren’t the things people thought she should remember, like the capital of…Greece, or whatever, or who the fuck was emporering when, but they were more important than that.

She didn’t get confused. So why now? 

For last three weeks, Minako had felt like she was living in a snowglobe. Tokyo was as it had always been (but it isn’t) and school was boring (I’m forgetting something) and her friends still wrote from London (what was I doing in London?). But just at the edge of her life, she could see a curve, shiny and almost hidden by the falling snow around her. There was something outside, that she could not reach. 

It was like losing a limb, except if you lost a limb, you could point to it and go, “Shit, my leg’s gone,” and whoever you’re sitting there with would go, ‘oh! That fucking sucks!” and they would feel bad for you, because your leg is missing, and everyone can tell your leg is missing. 

“I feel wrong, and incomplete,” didn’t get the same reaction. Just a chuckle and a shrug that being a teenager was hard. 

Minako Aino wasn’t herself. Or, she wasn’t fully herself. Parts of her had been cut out (like a ransom note) and pasted over (worse, the magazine that wrote the note) and nobody else seemed to be able to see it. There was something (someone? someones?) missing from her. She wandered around Tokyo, trying to find it (the thing that wasn’t real, except it was) but it kept running away from her, like a scared stray cat (a cat. Was there a cat? Blending into the fog, white maybe, but no, cats can’t…) 

So Minako Aino rode the subway, and climbed up out of the station, stopping randomly to find the edge of the glass, to find a way to dig under and be free. Sadako from the volleyball team told her she was just being ridiculous and London must have made her weird. (no I’m weirder than London ever dreamed of being) English people are just weird, she said, so it made you weird. (and London was fine Londoners were fine and nothing like Tokyo or Tokyoites but also covered in all the same filter all talking that same mumble) Come to the cafe with us after school, we’re going to get melon parfaits (they don’t sell melon parfaits in London but I remember them anyway because its all the same, because this thing is bad at its job) 

Going crazy was more work than Minako had imagined. 

She almost found it, once. She felt the glass crack beneath her fingers. It nearly gave way. 

As she was walking along some prefecture, by a shrine, she smelled it. The incense. It shouldn’t have meant anything. It’s Japan. It’s lousy with shrines, which she never had an interest in (but you spent so much time here) and the shrines are all lousy with incense (you remember this one, the wood and the slight musk). But she stopped, staring up at it. 

There was a world. A world separate from this one. And she was the same person, only different. She knew different people. She did something. She had something. Life was complicated, aand she dreamed about leaving it constantly. She wanted it back, more than ever. 

The shrine maiden, long black hair, so black it was almost purple in the sunlight, like a raven’s feathers, turned toward her. Her broom stopped. They stared at each other, saying nothing, and Minako felt it. She felt the glass crack. She stepped closer, just one step. This was it. This was the bend in the sky where the dome rested, and if she could just. 

“What?!?!” The shine maiden bellowed, suddenly angry, like she could hear the crack too, like she was trying to hold up that curve of sky Minako desperately wanted to bring down. 

“Nothing.” (everything anything come back we’re almost there take my hand break it break it BREAK IT)

Minako headed back into the fog, to catch the train.

[love-byers]

how can you reiterate that the duffers said NO NEW RELATIONSHIPS and then say will could 'very well' have a love interest that isn't mike in the same breath 😭😭

so...a new relationship?? i thought there weren't gonna be any of those..

if you truly think none of the relationships and dynamics will change and evolve through a season where each episode is nearly 2 hours long then you clearly have no understanding of writing and character development and WHAT MAKES A STORY. that is one of the biggest things you learn in creative writing classes, you have to find what makes your story an actual STORY and not a block of text. the driving force, the sparkle, the umph factor, the spirit, the soul, the heart, the VOICE. what i've learned is that that factor, whatever you want to call it, is nearly always the characters and their relationships. how they interact, the complexities of their dynamic, how they evolve and change, etc. not to toot my own horn but in my writing workshops in college my stories were always the most well received and got the most emotional investment because i heavily leaned into love and connection. i had classmates diehard shipping my characters and begging for me to develop them further in a follow up. my professors told me i was one of few students who have a true understanding of voice and heart and the driving force, and that is why i was successful and could have a future in writing professionally. like im not talking out of my ass here. if there is absolutely 0 change in any of the relationships in s5 then there is no story. that's just plot. like it's literally a nothing burger and no one could possibly sit through 10 hours of that. and i really truly believe the duffers know better than that.

and besides, shawn levy has literally confirmed what im saying twice already lol:

"People talk about mythology and The Upside Down, and all that is huge, but the magic of season five are the characters who find a sense of belonging with each other and through that connection, become heroes."

"[Season 5] it's about a group of people who question their value, who find each other, and who find superpowers in connection."

you are just very simply plainly wrong.

like seriously think about it critically for a second

think about the state of the characters and their relationships at the end of season 4. for example jonathan and nancy. they are in a weird tense place at the end of s4 and clearly have a lot of talking to do. do you think the duffers would set that up just for it to never be addressed again because they "don't have time for it"?? why would they write it in the first place if there's no time for it to unravel in s5??? do you REALLY think jonathan and nancy are going to be in the exact same awkward place at the end of s5, aka 1990, aka whole 4 years after the end of s4????

and what about robin and vickie? are they just never going to get together now since there's no time for that??

there WILL be time for relationship development BECAUSE they aren't introducing new relationships. the duffers have called s5 "endgame territory", they are competing the arcs they have already been developing for 8 years. they are tying everything up nicely. yes, there will still be development and change, it will just stemming from something that is not brand new, something that has already existed in the show for a while and is just at the end of its arc and progression. they're not spawning a bunch of brand new relationship arcs that have to go through the process of being introduced and started properly. THAT is what there is no time for. and there is also no time for lolly gagging such as steve trying to find a girlfriend and taking a girl to the basketball game. there will be none of that. we're in the real shit, the real connections the real driving forces of these characters and their souls.

like as a writer yall sound so stupid when you talk about things you have no clue about 💀💀 wholeheartedly believing there will be no relationship development in a nearly 12 hour long season is the most insanely ridiculous thing i have ever heard in my life . genuinely

take a creative writing class pls

I'm not a mean person, but istg I'm gonna laugh when I open up this app and see that byler isn't endgame and all the shippers lose their minds after 5+ years of the creators telling them it isn't gonna happen.

[deqdlyowl]

I actually have some old doodles TPtR au related... This one portrays an event from the second chapter.

I have a few more things, but they're kinda spoilers and I'm not really into spoiling... Though one of them is just a spoiler of one interesting detail I want to add (the event my sketch shows most likely won't appear in the fic), while the other one is a WHOLE AHH SPOILER of the shit happening in, maybe like 10+ chapter, I'm still not sure how big I want to make the fic, ahaha.

Also rambling and venting out my feelings under the cut because I forgot to take my meds yesterday. You don't have to read but I would be happy if you do.

.

Every time I start something I like, it begins to feel like a small obligation after some time, no matter how I feel about the thing I create. I love my fic and I really want to finish it, because it's also a huge emotional boost for me when I understand that I passed my word count goal in the chapter and I finally can write down my 24/7 daydreaming about CotL (even if not all of them, I often think about selfship, sorry, ahaha),AND I have a nice feedback. BUT. My ability is to abandon things. I have many unfinished drawings, unfinished crafts, like, a crocheted Spycrab or a full-sized HHH tf2 weapon, even though I really want to finish it all, but since I took a really long break, I just abandoned it all. That's usually the reason why I don't make comics. (The only comic I've ever made is that one silly meme about bees). And a month ago I started writing TPtR.

I'm scared of this happening to my fic, that's why I force myself to write if I'm not doing so for more than two days. Somehow it boosts my motivation, but at the same time, the thought of having to force myself to do something, even if I love it, makes me anxious. Why am I not doing anything if I love it? Perhaps it's just my depression with AuDHD kicking in, and sometimes I forget to take my ADs (I don't have ADHD meds yet) that makes me suddenly apathetic about everything. And then anxiety. And then I get sad when I can't come up with words.

Today I was describing the thing I have no experience in. I made tonnes of research, watched many videos of how people do it, tried to find words, but it looks... Meh. And I'm sad. And when I'm sad about something I do, I abandon it. BUT I WON'T. I will force myself to not, because I still want to write! I try to reassure myself that it looks shitty because it's still a draft and written in my native language. However, if looking at my current word count, the chapter won't be short, and it makes me happy. I'm sad and happy. I'm confused about my feelings about what I do!! I can just abandon doing ANYTHING and be lazy for years as it happened in middle school! But I have to force myself. To do anything at all. I already bed rot when I'm not studying, and if I'm studying at home, I still do it in bed. I'm losing weight (I'm severely underweight), my dogs feel bad (they're almost 12), it's my final year in school so I also study hard for my finals, my dreams say weird things (I believe in dream-telling or whatever, and I kinda can decipher them) and it all devours me from inside. But I can't give myself a rest. Or. I'll. Abandon. The thing. I love!

I'm repeating, but my head repeats everything most of the time as well, it's either loud and messy (adhd) or quiet and agonizing (autism), my ADs make my body parts twitch, I don't think that I need my therapist anymore, because it feels like there's no different between me before and me after talking to her.

I love my friends though. Their cheerful reaction to my fic or sketch updates is something that also boosts my motivation of doing something. I love art because of the feeling of creating something, but after finishing, I get the desire to see someone's reaction to what I did.

That's all, I think. I mean, not all, but I don't want to repeat again and again, my memory is getting worse as well, I feel like I kin Shamura ahahahha. I want to take an MRI. What if I have a tumor.

[mimikoolover]

it's so interesting to have seen jikook 'grow together' in real time, like there was a time when jungkook was playing hard to get and jimin did his damndest to get them to become a duo. he didn't really have to work that hard to be honest but seeing jimin treat jungkook special /and/ wanting all of his attention/adoration and then seeing how they became that duo is wild. to see them interact but never really talk about their relationship like calling each other best friends/soulmates/whatever, apart from some interviews where they said the wildest shit (like jungkook calling jimin his catalyst) is also something. 2023 where jungkook was so obvious and then the year ending in are you sure, especially the japan trip...being a jikooker is just wild tbh. you have armys either ignoring their bond or pretending they're not as close as they are, and that's the better scenario to people outright hating them together...idk dude. i've seen a lot of shipping in my time. a lot of the times i find shipping (when it's real people) tragic when the shippers say 'if XYZ was truly who they say they are, i'd hate them' etc. i think there's a lot of us who just love jikook and their bond and can see how close they are and wonder about the nature of that closeness but at the end of the day, it's their lives not ours so personally all i want to do is just support them for whatever they are (individually and together). it's really easy to do so when they so obviously love each other, and not the 'shipping obvious' but like, actual objective obvious...lol

[boxheadpaint]

oh god when did i diary post last. Well as good a time as any

another year older today, though birthday festivities are actually taking place yesterday and tomorrow due to conflicting schedules and hannukah party stuff. spending this last week of DEMBER watching found footage / mockumentary horror and doing my best not to worry as much as usual to varying levels of success. still need to get refill on blood pressure meds because sleep is annoying again thanks.

joycon controller journey where in the end i grab those ergonomic ones which they only had the pokemon print ones in stock but theyre very nice. they make my switch wide and intimidating and it doesnt hurt to use which im not sure why i ever got used to that for normal joycons? I can take a few guesses though namely being yay videogames and being good at ignoring pain until its gone for a bit.

waiting back for exciting surgery news though knowing state health that wont be for a while! in the mean time just gonna look at fish and have a beautiful time. didnt actually super celebrate christmas this year, stayed home with partner. did have a gift from my mom (MICHEAL FATCAT VOLUME 2 LETS FUCKING GO. And a book on color combinations) for it and another for my birthday (immensely sexy natural illustration book) which was very nice and makes me happy. since she moved to mexico our schedules dont line up as well from timezones but the few calls we have had are nice. she got a puppy that made me cry over video from the smallness.

at this point i miss digital art enough that i am willin to brave the overheating and bluescreening of my surface again but maybe instead i could set up some stand made of welded paperclips or something so it can sit up and breathe again. Mom gave me her old one but its windows 11, then theres the yogas that doug has where one doesnt work with my pen and says ACTIVATE WINDOWS in the corner because it was probably some sensitive work thing while the other yoga has like. a mystery charger we have yet to find. we will likely try to downgrade moms from the windows 11 shit as best we can but god im not confident in it.

Every month i think i need to stop worrying about what people will think of my art, that their interpretations dont matter and i am doing what makes me happy and what keeps me interested. i also manage to forget this every month around the same time. i miss drawing very very quickly to make stupid funny pictures for people, its a lot better at conveying how i feel and think than trying to pull from my limited vocabulary. written words are basically just another kind of picture that are funny and dont make any sense in any order you say them and will never get across what you are trying to say.

okami HD was 5 dollars on the switch. its been a lot of fun to play through it again after all this time- when i was a kid i thought after orochi i beat the game and that whatever else was going on was a weirdly long postgame. i stopped at the VERY near end of act 2 because of the fucking blockhead warrior guy was impossible for me. i was trying to get footage of the weakpoints on a flipphone with my family behind me like mission control. now that im an adult man with reading comprehension and a smaller screen with a built in screencapture function im sure i will get just as mad as i did back then.

12/28/2024, I keep accidentally not hydrating enough day-to-day and i still need a shower. gonna go fuckin water mode

[spiderb00]

After seeing the kats reacting to their girlfriends talking to their exes, how would the kats react to their girlfriends bumping into a toxic ex? Maybe like they're out in a club or bar or resto or something and the ex is drunk and starts shit, idk just curious

- 💙

Omg anon, if the situation was already complicated with your "good exes", no one will want to be around when these girls find your "bad exes".

Manon freaks out, she is not only alert, she will get out of herself. The girl is so glued to you that you swear she put glue in the middle of you. If Manon sees any slightly strange movement from your ex, she will immediately pull you to the exit.

The first time you met your ex was after a show, she knew you worked as Dominick's drummer, so she bought the tickets for his show and also somehow got them to be vip. It was the worst surprise of your life to see the girl coming towards you with a sarcastic smile on her face, as if she still had control of you as in all those years of relationship.

When Manon joined you in the dressing room and saw that woman trying to touch you and making you uncomfortable, she immediately ran towards you, placing herself next to you and taking you away from your ex as quickly as possible. She knew everything that woman put you through, and how toxic she was to you, so getting you away from her was Manon's priority at that moment.

Sophia isn't proud, but your ex is the only woman Sophia doesn't mind thinking she's superior. She's proud to know that she's prettier, much more successful, educated, and not manipulative like her, and most importantly, Sophia has you, unlike the woman.

You and Sophia met your ex at The Plazza, the woman you used to be in a relationship with had never gotten over you, and it seems she had chosen today as a day to ruin your happiness. When you saw that she was sitting at one of the tables in the restaurant, you quickly withered. But everything got better when Sophia appeared by surprise.

You made a point of leaving the kitchen to greet Sophia, who was waiting for you in the bar area. You hugged her, and she immediately asked if you had recognized your ex's presence at the restaurant. When you confirmed that it was, the Filipino girl just pulled you by the back of the neck, starting a slow and sensual kiss. She knew that your ex could see everything that was happening from the table where she was, Sophia just wanted to put on a little show before letting you go back to work, staying at the restaurant until it was your time to leave.

Daniela is in latina mami mode, she's pissed off and she swears that anything your ex does will make her mad. The blonde will be clinging to your biceps while talking to you, making you have your attention fully on her (as if you were going to look at someone else).

You and Daniela met your ex at a random party in Los Angeles, Daniela and your ex exchanged glances first, you didn't even know the other girl was in the same room as you. When your ex girlfriend gave Daniela a sarcastic smile, the curly girl was on high alert, whatever that girl was in mind, it wasn't going to end well.

When your ex started dancing practically staring at you on the dance floor, you didn't believe it was happening, you thought Daniela was going to kill her and then it would be your turn. You looked away immediately, looking at the glass in your hand as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

Seeing that Daniela was about to do something that would probably yield comments that would affect her and consequently her career, you pulled her by the hand, leaving the party and going to the car so that you could both go home. At the beginning of the trip, Daniela complained and threw all kinds of ugly words at your ex, but it was only when you put your hand on her thigh that the Latina gradually calmed down, until you got home and you reminded her that you were completely hers.

Lara can't, all she sees is red. She knows your ex wants you back, and she won't let anyone take you away from her. You're staring at the floor the moment you see your ex enter the same room as you, praying that Lara doesn't do anything that could harm her.

Your ex was from the music industry, the two of you working together on some compositions resulted in a troubled relationship and many scars for you. You and Lara met your ex at a small gathering of musician friends, you didn't know she would be there, and even then, none of your co-workers knew that you and her had ever dated.

Lara was on the verge of doing something, your ex was looking at you, trying to talk and know about your life, ignoring your girlfriend completely. But when Lara saw how uncomfortable and sad you had become with the situation, she pulled you over immediately, telling your colleagues that she needed some air and you would accompany her. You didn't come back to the meeting, just hugging in the car and saying sweet words to each other, while Lara said she loved you, you said you would never leave her.

Megan's situation is possibly the worst of all, as your ex works with you. She's also an actress, and you work together on a show. Fortunately, you don't act as a couple, but behind the scenes everything was very different.

You and Megan met your ex at Kylie's birthday party, it made sense that she was there, it seemed like everyone in Hollywood knew each other, and you thought that was a little bizarre. Your ex tried all night to get your attention, laughing too loudly, getting a little too close everywhere you went, until she "accidentally" spilled a drink on Megan's outfit.

You and Megan left the party immediately, you calmed the redhead down and hugged her the whole time. You weren't at all surprised by the childish behavior of the girl you used to call your girlfriend, but you were upset with yourself for not being able to protect Megan from her. When the redhead finally calmed down from her anger, you and she returned to the party, Megan now wore one of your t-shirts with her short shorts, which surprisingly hadn't been soiled with energy drinks. You now also had a few hickeys scattered around your neck and collarbone, in Megan's words "Just so that dumb girl knows who you belong to."

[corviiids]

customary sparknotes for chapter 10

nobody asked this time i just got shit to say. don't read this post unless you've read chapter 10 of my akechi palace au fic "as you like it" because it will make 0 sense forever. here we go

the code for this part took way longer than i want to admit for it being so simple because it just kept breaking in really stupid ways and then it didn't work on mobile. it's fine. it's fine now. tell me if it's broken. don't tell me

i had this dream sequence part drafted back when i posted chapter 9. the thing that took so long was the action sequence, which is ALWAYS the thing that takes so long. i finished my first draft of this chapter about a month ago sitting in a hotel bar, and i got it to where it is now a few days ago sitting in the same hotel bar, so, thanks to that hotel bar and its fantastic jalapeno cocktail and very patient staff for sponsoring this chapter. not sponsoring actually the cocktails are expensive i sponsored myself. anyway

end of dumb preamble? beginning of dumb amble

this first bit takes place in ren's mind as a dream sequence after he gets hit with the sleep effect, basically. parts of it are laid out in a sort of mockup of a stageplay script, although obviously this isn't how you'd write a real script haha. i wanted to play with, like... akechi's palace is a theatre, but he and ren have a lot in common. in his own way, ren is a performer, too.

the scenes with the phantom thieves are all in past tense, which is how the flashbacks in this fic have been written. the recurring motif is how the phantom thieves interact with ren, mostly via his glasses, generally along the theme of how they see him. i didn't really make this explicit, but in all of these scenes, none of the thieves look him directly in the eye.

in the game, ren usually has two or three dialogue options. his narration in this moments are the options he didn't choose. he always chooses the one which is the least direct and the most deflective, because in these moments he is feeling vulnerable and being honest is too overwhelming. by the way, "don't look at me like that" is text that appears in one of p5's menus:

which i just find interesting.

the scenes with akechi, by contrast, are told in present tense. they're also rife with unreality. the setting changes as though it's a dream, which of course it is. it's unclear whether these scenes are an amalgam of things that happened that ren is mixing and remembering oddly, or if he's conjured them.

ok let's look at the script scenes as well. they're basically all retellings of ren's run-in with shido.

the idea is that in tokyo, ren spends a lot of time lying in bed replaying those moments in his head, wondering how else it could have gone. no matter how many times he plays it out, no matter how he thinks about regretting what he did, walking away, making a different call,

he always makes the same choice.

do you ever think about how disproportionate that trumped up assault charge was? ren, frustrated and bitter, has to wonder - if he was just going to get pulled up on assault anyway, what difference would it have made if he'd actually just fucking done it? at least gotten to do the thing he got busted for. for catharsis, or whatever.

unlike the phantom thieves, akechi DOES look ren in the eye

he doesn't let ren get away with dodging his questions, and he repeatedly asks ren what he actually thinks

and with akechi, ren is able to say what he's really thinking.

ok now the rest of the amble

i love writing a fic which has akechi's name plastered all over it and then repeatedly going SURPRISE! this is about ren. it's about ren.

ren's been really struggling with this whole hero thing a lot. i think this battle is where it really comes to a head, because all the shit akechi was giving him in the last chapter about the ethics of stealing a heart is really getting to him. he's wondering whether he's really doing this for akechi or if it's for his own satisfaction, plus the burden of being the leader of the phantom thieves weighs heavier and heavier because if he's not doing this for akechi then that means he's doing it for himself, which means he can't play this as self-sacrificial or selfless, which means his team is putting themselves at risk for him. he's disoriented and he gets put out of commission for his trouble, which just puts his team further at risk while he spirals and tries to do right by everyone. it's a chance for the phantom thieves to step up and save him - as their friend, not their leader. i love the phantom thieves and their dorky power of friendship.

i also really liked coming up with cognitive joker. the idea of the VIP Box being inhabited solely by shido and joker was super fun to me. shido is gone from akechi's cognition, which begs the question of why the box still exists if it was allegedly only there to seat the VIP, the person at the centre of akechi's struggles - obviously it's because the distortion has grown far beyond shido, who is no longer the only person akechi performs for. joker isn't there as a guest. he broke in, and he's unkillable. by the way, his hair is based on the persona super live key art from 2019:

look at his swoopy hair. isn't he cute? i wanna squish his cheeks.

how about that awakening

okay, here's a fun fact about the fucking awakening. here's a FEW fun facts.

1. i came up with the idea of fusing robin hood and loki into a third persona before i had even published chapter 1 (way back in 2019), which means i had that idea long before persona 5 royal was ever announced.

when p5r's marketing started up and was like "we're gonna fuse everyone's first and second personae for a third persona!" i was like (throws a chair at the wall)

2. my first idea for the third persona, back at that point, was for akechi's third persona to be adraestia. she was a greek goddess who later became identified with nemesis/rhamnousia, the goddess of retribution for hubris.

then fire emblem three houses came out, and i realised adraestia was only going to call to mind the black eagles. lol. i was like ok, that's fine, it doesn't really matter, and if it bothers me a lot, i can switch to naming her rhamnousia or something.

then THIS YEAR, i decided to check whether nemesis/rhamnousia existed in smt lore as a shadow already. and as it turns OUT, i had forgotten a VERY KEY FACT ABOUT PERSONA 3.

SHE'S TAKEN. BY A DIFFERENT JUSTICE KID. so i had to change tacks again.

this really left me floundering for a second i gotta say. and then i remembered that last year, i'd written a scene in a fit of pure self-indulgence in which akechi starts telling ren all about the iliad. (this scene appears in chapter 8.) when i wrote that scene, i hadn't really been thinking that hard about how it was going to affect the plot. i just thought achilles and akechi had some interesting similarities, and also, i wanted to talk about the iliad, so i wrote the scene and figured i could cut it if it stuck out too much. anyway, i remembered that scene and was like, holy shit hang on, i have an entire thing already set up for a mythological figure who represents akechi's soul. and it actually works way better than rhamnousia, whose connection with akechi's struggle here is pretty surface-level in comparison. here's a line from my planning doc:

pretty cool how in royal he literally does have twin fates: short and blazing or long and unremarkable

so that's how akhilleus became akechi's third persona. wow! what a happy accident! i mean im a genius and it was all planned from the start obviously. it just goes to show that sometimes you go on a stupid little infodump and it ends up solving a plot problem you didn't foresee an entire year later. fixation works.

akhilleus himself is really cool to me. if i had a persona, achilles would be mine, so i hope akechi fucking appreciates that i've donated him to the goro akechi cause. idk if any artists are keen on doing character designs for personae but of the suite of art i daydream about commissioning for this fic, key art for akhilleus is definitely up there. the woman hovering behind him is his mother, obviously - and akechi's.

this other thing

i also just wanted to mention this

i usually don't outline or plan fics very well, as you can probably fucking tell from the above. im just really short sighted when it comes to outlines and i usually can't see more than a few chapters in advance except for either vague shapes or VERY SPECIFIC SCENES, so doing this kind of intricate planning is a real challenge for me.

the goho-m thing is such a small detail, but im really pleased with it just because it is one of the things i actually did very deliberately plan and set up in advance. it first appears in chapter 6 when ren and makoto go to the zoo - ren gives all his goho-ms to makoto as a show of trust, to demonstrate that he trusts her to get him and their friends home safely after they resolve his fear and resentment for her plan almost getting him killed. i did that to wrap makoto's arc, but it also served a very important plot purpose in chapter 8: ren is stranded in the courtyard with akechi's "shadow" self, and he has no easy way of getting out of the palace because he gave all of his goho-ms to queen. oh no, ren trusted his friends so much it's gonna get him killed. unless?

(this is a plot hole p5 the game just never bothers to fill or else they wouldn't get dramatic anime scenes of the phantom thieves sprinting out of the palaces as they explode and im at peace with that but i still think it's funny and also i wanted to fill the plot hole myself.)

so then it finally gets to come back in chapter 10, when ren finally falls from being their fearless heroic leader and gives his friends a chance to step up and save him for once. makoto still has the goho-ms, and when ren is occupied and out of commission, she steps up and saves them like he trusted her to do. guys! i planned something that spanned five whole chapters. wow! wow i did it.

LONG POST. VERy LONG POST. god. HEY this is it the palace is destroyed. there are still two chapters to go and a lot left to get through, but palace-wise this was the climax, which is why it took so god damn long because it's terrifying to write something so pivotal. but thank you so much for reading the fic! and this if you read it! i wrote this mostly for me again. but if you read it i love you.

[transpathfinder]

HELLO, LICH DEFENDERS! thank you for responding, there're a lot so i'm just gonna file responses here to look at easier when i search for it, you do not have to respond to my replies, no pressure :}

***

@boeing-787 said: hi, it’s me. i romanced emmrich first and i chose the lich path. when the stats got released and people were talking abt the lich choice being like, i think was it 27% of people picked? and how those people cant be trusted? like shuuuuuuut uuuuuuuuuuup

that's one of the things i got soo shocked by, when those stats were released and i went to look at it once i completed the game.. i was sure it would be a closer match between the two. i think it really boils down to many emmrichmancers finding that option gross when it's really just a choice he has been working towards all his life? i feel there's a lot of infantalising him for his decision and want, when he's a grown ass man in his 50s who has known and studied this for years

*

@13skeletons said: i chose lich first! and then played through the ending again to see the other route. I like Manfred, but the lich route is soooo good and so unique. (and it’s the skeleton sex route eheheehheh). anyway i follow someone who has written some really good pro lich route posts. let me find a link / ok here’s one meta: tumblr.com/veilkee… and that person has a few about his lich route in its tags. it actually changed its pfp to lich!emmrich when all the anti lich discourse got too irritating. / also the idea of him finding another partner and being mad about it is so fucking laughable to me. like, he seriously expects you to dump him before he goes through the rites. he tries to hide his face from you during the final romance scene. do these people really think he’d ever open up to someone again? He’s afraid he’ll mourn you forever!!!!! Sorry I’m not normal about him. His lich route is some of the most tragically romantic shit bioware has ever given us / also. also. acting like it’s selfish to accept that death is a part of life, even for spirits? uhhhh (just remembered a post that acted like he couldn’t possibly still love rook afterwards because his heart is gone. love is stored in the blood pump, you see.)

thank you for the link from other lichmancers, that's good, gonna check it out in a bit. and yesss i've seen that post you mentioned too i think about like... how emmrich can't possibly feel anymore, be it love or compassion or whatever for rook and others. and i think this is flat out a false reading of the game when they literally tell you he holds all his same opinions and feelings, just without the flesh?? they're acting like lichdom steals away your soul or something to become a mechanical unfeeling being

the thing about being selfish about manfred is sooo crazy to me cos i felt the opposite of what most people who bring back manfred felt in that it's emmrich accepting a spirit's death! after being bright and brilliant and sacrificing himself for a mission! if anything, blindly bringing manfred back is what makes it sound like emmrich is not ready to accept death as a part of life

*

@corvidexoskeleton said: I didn’t like the lich path at first tbh, but when i did my second playthrough and romanced him, i did the lich path, and now ive actually changed my opinion on it. I find it extremely interesting and compelling, but so many people are too caught up in bitching about it 😭😭😭

i see! yes i totally get how the first playthrough may make an emmrichmancer pick the non-lich route, but it really is a compelling arc for him as a character with purpose, using his skills and interest. even in the romance section, there's so much left. i've seen so many posts bitching about it i got so annoyed at my recced stuff lol like please stop acting like it's some disgusting option to choose damn

*

amalstra said: I hate people saying it’s a cop-out and running from his fear of death….like did you miss the part where he literally has to DIE to become a lich? How is that not facing it? On top of that he has to face manfreds death so…ya hes facing it.

exactlyyyyy i reeeeally don't get that reasoning cos it's straight up lying about what the game is trying to tell you. like what do u mean he's afraid and not facing it.. that's literally the opposite of what it means to becoming a lich. he perfectly understands he's gonna outlive people he loves, and he accepts death, but he stands for a greater cause and what he deems important in his culture??? if fans are just sad manfred died and want him back they should just admit that lmafafo instead of coming up with shit that's not true

*

@ianuarius said: Love the Lich route as much as the Mortal one, personally. As it is, I enjoy it, though I do worry about how his character would grapple and handle with the death of those beloved by him. There’s nice touches, ofc, such as the dialogue with him and Harding about how she may be immortal now in some fashion and they can be friends forever. But I do think how the other backgrounds outside MW are handling that he is functionally immortal and that they do not have this option in the future. / Unless, I suppose the Lich Lords aren’t all specifically of the MW? And may offer them the chance with some convincing? But we know so little of them, currently. And, for Emmrich, I think that while he may have passed through death, he doesn’t yet quite deal with his fear of death but transfer it to Rook. Fears like that aren’t so easy to break, so I think it does just find a different form to take. If not taken care of, properly, I can see his love becoming unhealthy and toxic, which is… yeah. / But, on the other hand, he also has potential to surpass it with help and time. And, I just, currently wonder what all he’s meant to do and more as a Lich Lord other than broadly protect the order of things. Lots of grand promises in this route that makes me wonder what else may be revealed about these guys.

hmmm i see... i guess i don't think of it as a bad thing, that he has to watch those he loves die, the same way i don't think it's unhealthy or toxic with his love. but that's mostly cos i don't see the scenario of someone you love dying in their full age as something to fight or rage against, and iirc there's dialogue with lucanis where he's happy to constantly learn and experience new things, but that's not without to say he won't mourn those who pass on before him. i suppose i see him as a character who is interested and awash with experiencing new things, people, feelings, that lichdom isn't something i see for him as tragic, but freeing.

but yeeess i think there's a lot to explore with and without the mourn watch background with this. i don't think the game gives enough with this choice, but then it's like you said it's a route less travelled and we don't know much about it yet. will be nice to get some meaty info about these lich lords and their general lifestyles

*

@trickster-in-training said: My 1st romance with him was the non-lich path, and I thought it was very sweet! My next Rook will be a MW lich romancer. I’m excited to see how it plays out. I don’t think there’s a “right” or “wrong” choice, just different flavors of an experience.

niceee, i hope you have fun with the lich route, especially with a mw!rook, i think it could open up a lot of dialogue or at least understanding of his choices due to shared culture and affections. same, i really don't see it as good/bad, but i do get the feeling a lot of fandom sees the lich route as... less than, surely, because they're uncomfortable with concepts of death and immortality in romance.

okay in my esteemed authority as a lucanismancer acknowledging we have the most annoying fanbase, it seems the second most annoying fanbase are emmrichmancers who are soo anti-lichdom. i liked a few emmrich romance posts and then tumblr was reccing so many other posts by those who hate the idea of him being a lich, calling it selfish or disgusting and being mad he'll outlive rook, potentially finding another partner, etc, when of course, lichdom is his lifelong dream and has a lot of themes of nobleness in service, archiving, respecting, and protecting culture, in nevarra

there must be emmrichmancers who chose the lichdom path romance, i know it. i wish they were more outspoken (or maybe i just haven't seen any on my dash) and i'd love to see their ideas more on this love. it's the choice i chose for him, and found it very fulfilling and whole. but almost all emmrichmancers i've seen tumblr reccing me sound childish as f about it being the ''bad'' choice, getting their undies in a twist about it and they're the ones more vocal about it when lich!emmrich is so rich with love, respect, and faith, in the concepts history, the dead, knowledge.. there's a sacred reverence to it that blind childish lichdom haters do not seem to want to engage in conversation with i'm just irritated every time i see some bs on my dash

[judasalicent]

i honestly don't even really know where to begin when talking about the fandom culture of pro-sh*pping or the romanticization/fetishization of problematic themes because i've been having the same exact arguments with these people since i started watching game of thrones when i was 14 and it's that i'll say "this is wrong" and "you're interacting with the media uncritically" and the response will always be something like "oh it doesn't matter because it's fake" or "you like the show/book/movie too so you're a hypocrite," or "this is a trauma response and you're being a shitty person because i went through xyz and that means i don't have to worry about the thoughts and feelings of other people" and so then i'm the one who looks wrong and stupid and too serious and not fun and pretentious but honestly where is the line drawn when you are a person who constantly thinks about incest or assault or ped*philia and where is the line drawn when that's what you look for in media and it turns you on or you think it's romantic and where is the line drawn when problematic themes are the only thing you think/post about and you can only interact with any media that way and where is the line drawn when you don't even like problematic things but you defend people who do at the cost of other people and where is the line when queer fans and fans of color are unfairly treated or ignored or infantilized or belittled and meanwhile the people who literally spew/write/drawn the most heinous fucking shit are defended and even celebrated. where is the fucking line.

[ganondoodle]

kind of expected that the ability breakdown wouldnt get that much traction (especially on twitter bc if it doesnt do well in the first few hours it might as well be dead) but what i didnt need to wake up to was looking at my twitter notifications and thinking there was a long comment on it at first but then i read it and it turned out to be some guy having dug up one of my old totk tweets where i talked about how zelda was treated-

and if a quote retweet with a thread attached already starts with "this entitled brat didnt understand that zelda was being a history nerd by being in the past and getting to experience it herself" with two screenshots attached of the end of totk with zelda staring at the cam all uwu (which has ??? to do with their point??) i dont even want to know what else was in that thread

if thats how the majority of the fandom is then im even less surprised that nintendy doesnt even have to try to write anything good :I

ah yes, i am a game nerd, and by putting me in a game where i stand around doing puppy dog eyes while being shoved around by NPCs is me being a game nerd OBVIOSULY

[tabithatwo]

(x)

(this is a pls stop blaming juliette lewis for nat’s arc and death post <3)

[ghost-bard]

Might see if i cant do a little reload to the neve/bellara choice in act 3 (??? Or is it late act 2 i fr do not know) just so i can record davrin stopping deirdre from going after bellara bc that scene and the 3 of them in general live rent free in my head and i was paused right after for so long that the recording i thought i saved was just. My paused screen of elgarnan lmao

[cluescorner]

Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".

*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.

*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*

Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-

Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-

Arlecchino: Ok.

Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?

Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.

*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*

Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????

Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.