#if you ever think ur annoying me with ur tags or asks or replies: full stop. you are NOT!!!

[theghoulboysblog]

bro i can’t believe there are genuinely people out there who get annoyed when people respond to their posts with long paragraphs about their thoughts or comments or opinions.

like trust when i make a shane and ryan post and i don’t have comments and tags and replies and asks giving heartfelt analysis’s on shane and ryan’s meaningful ass friendship i’m devastated bro 😭

the best part of my day is when i get on tumblr after making a cute post and someone reblogs it with “remember when shane and ryan did this thing like five years ago? or did this other thing seven years ago? goes to show how they’ve grown closer and—“ LIKE YES OMFG UR SO RIGHT DUDE I GET U SO BAD

like an angel loses its wings every time a person who typically writes essays in the tags when reblogging writes “hmm…” or “interesting…” when replying to one of my post like I WANT DIALECTICAL JOURNALS IN MY TAGS DON’T BE SHY SEND EM OVER BRO PLEASE 😭🙏

[simp-lyzity]

aaaahhhh omg hi to you too!!! i think you're cool too and i did low-key stalk your page after i saw the reblog lol. we can definitely be moots! :)

also im relatively new to tumblr so sorry if this is an annoying way to reply lol. i just wanted to make sure you knew i saw it and we really did deserve katara with her firebending bf.

THE WAY I SCREECHED WHEN I OPENED THIS ASDFUSILDFHA HIGH KEY FREAKING OUT- i stalked ur page when i hit follow asfjdk LIKE NOT TO BE CREEPY I'M JUST FANGIRLING AB THE FACT THAT UR DOWN TO BE MOOTS I'M SORRY ASDFOI;HJ

also i have to apologize for ur perusal of my blog, it's my main so it's absolutely a mess and i'm only just coming back onto my zutara kick--it's always been there but it just comes and goes in waves (hehe, waterbending puns) it's probably gonna be more full of zutara what with zutara month but i'm an avid genshin impact player so there's a lot of that too lol

no worries ab being new to tumblr! i've been on tumblr for years, so if u ever have any questions, i'd be glad to answer them if ur comfy asking!! :D ty for letting me know, it absolutely isn't annoying, i saw u in my notifs and was internally freaking out that u even saw my tag and know i exist

[atozfic]

legit all i want is one angst fic with an UNHAPPY ENDING so i can cry bUT nO when i search up angst fics THEYRE ALL FLUFF WITH "a small bit of angst" LIKE PLEASE I JSUT WANT A FIC THAT WILL MAKE ME CRY SHDLSFK - 🥢

also u know what else annoys me. WHEN LONG FICS DON'T HAVE THE KEEP READING CUT. like they write 10k words n theres no cut so u have to scroll through the whole thing,, like what if someone doesn't want to read the 10k smut someone wrote then they have to scroll through the whole thing like PLEASE if ur gonna write a long ass fic PUT A KEEP READING CUT. -- 🥢 (this legit annoys me sfm)

ALSO, WHEN THEY MAKE THE READER BLUSH "their cheeks turned pink" OR WHATEVER,, and it honestly makes me not wanna read the fic bcus like if ur gonna make the reader blush might as well just make a light-skinned oc instead, bcus its not like everyone can blush. also when they make them skinny, specific eye color, rlly rlly short. like i know its just fics, but if ur gonna put "reader" atleast try to not make it seem like the said reader is this skinny white girl. - 🥢

ok and one last thing, i know its hard but like sometimes ppl put gender neutral reader, but then put things in the fic like "babygirl/ mommy", or "babyboy/daddy", or even just like "princess" or smthn. like i know its hard to come up w gender neutral terms but yknow its just,, idk. IM SORRY FOR RANTING IN UR INBOX THESE THINGS JUST BOTHER ME SM - 🥢

okay so, originally i was gonna wait a while to reply because i was on a roll with my writing but, due to some of the issues your asks have raised, i kind of want to go on a tangent(?). don’t worry, it’s nothing negative. i’m simply gonna reply to everything you said in order though, so it doesn’t become confusing.

my reply to this is pretty basic because, while i do enjoy a good bit of angst, i personally don’t enjoy an angsty ending. maybe it’s just me but life is full of bad endings and unresolved issues, which leaves me not wanting to experience the same things when i read any form of fiction. no matter how well written it is, nor how amazing the story is, it leaves me feeling unsatisfied and questioning what would happen from there. i do get your frustrations though, especially if you’re in the mood to read something heart-wrenching and all you find is fluff.

i 100% agree with the read more thing. all of my stories come with a read more tag before any of the story actually begins, no matter if its 100 or 20k words because, most of the time, my stories carry warnings on them. in my opinion, if you’re adding warnings to your story and NOT adding a read more tag, your warnings become useless. what is the point on giving a content warning if you’re not going to facilitate people avoiding being exposed to that warning? even more so if your fic is the length of the mf bible, like damn. seeing your monster fic without a read more cut isn’t going to make me want to read it, it’s going to make me block you to avoid having to see your content again. in conclusion: use read more cuts, they’re free and help you not turn people off from reading your work.

this one i’m going to maybe say something people won’t like? if so, i genuinely apologise in advance, i’m not trying to offend or hurt anyone. i’m not sure if i’ve been guilty of doing this in the past but i can say this: when i write, i do not have a vision of what the reader looks like. they are a blank entity in the story. with the blush thing, i try my best to explain the feeling of blood rushing to one’s face rather than the effect that has (aka blushing on people who have fair skin), because everyone can experience blood rush, even if it doesn’t make them blush. this is where maybe some people might not appreciate what i’m about to say... i don’t think this is something writers do on purpose. while i understand it hurts to feel excluded, i don’t think any writer who writes under the “x reader” tag is going out of their way to make people feel that way. the problem is, in writing, there is an incredible emphasis on showing and not telling. this becomes difficult to do when you’re constricted under what you can say to avoid excluding anyone, which is why i think writers sometimes slip up. it’s nothing hateful or purposeful (this is most cases, i obviously can’t speak for everyone), it’s just something that accidentally slips their minds, no matter how hard they try to make their stories accessible for everyone. i’ll finish this off by just saying, if someone ever reads one of my stories and feels the reader isn’t inclusive to them (despite being tagged that way), please tell me politely. don’t treat me like your enemy, because i guarantee it’s not something i ever want to make you feel.

the section above also applies to this part. there’s no need to apologise for ranting in my inbox, i’m completely fine with it so long as you- and anyone else who does it- is fine with receiving a response.

[yzngserpent]

Sweet Pea x (Male!) Reader

Prompt: a little while ago I wrote a two part series called behind closed doors that was inspired by a post I read. I got asked if I was going to do a part 3 so here it is! If you want to read the other parts first (I recommend you do) they’re a little way down my page.

A/N: ok so this turned out to be way longer than I expected. hope you like it! @serpentscvm im definitely doing a part 4.

Warnings: violence, profanity, lite smut.

Sunny Side trailer park was lit from top to toe and full of teenage serpents who had all gathered together for a saturday night party. You were sitting contently on one of the many lawn chairs with a beer in your hand and Toni chatting away next to you. Sweet Pea and Fangs were standing together surrounded by a few other serpents, all talking and shouting loudly. (gif 1) It had been a few days since Sweet Pea took you on your first date, and you two had made it official.

You hadn’t told anyone yet, you thought to yourself how you liked your privacy and that people would find out when the time was right. But you didn’t know that in a few seconds, that would be the said time. just as you were about to reply to one of Toni’s questions, Sweet Pea’s familiar shout of anger interrupted your conversation and your head snapped around to see what was going on. Pea had swung at another teenage serpent, and now the two of them were on the ground in a fist fight. You immediately stood up and ran over, adrenaline pumping through your body.

“Sweets, stop!” you shouted, a few people turning to look at you in bafflement as his nick name slipped from your lips. Fangs retracted from trying to pull his friend away, his actions clearly useless against yours but Pea didn’t listen to you. instead he straddled the boy’s chest and began to lay hard and nasty punches to his face. The look in Pea’s eyes was ferocious and it even scared you a little bit to the point where your body went into shock. but your senses soon kicked back in and you grabbed Sweet Pea’s forearm, holding onto him as hard as you could as he tried to lay his next punch. “Sweets stop, he’s out, you’re going to kill him!”

Sweet Pea sucked in a breath then turned his head to face you, his teeth bared and his cheek bleeding. you tugged on his forearm for him to get up, and as he did so FP Jones strutted over with a look of annoyance on his face. “Sweet Pea, get out of here now and go cool off!” FP shouted, pointing towards the other side of the trailer park. you tugged on his arm once again and led him towards his trailer, your heart still racing in your chest. “sweets, what the hell was that about!” you inquired once the two of you had reached a safe distance away from crowd of people.

The ferocious look in his eyes had faded now, but you could tell he was still angry by the lack of affection he was giving you. “Fucking Fangs asked me about you, then before I could even reply that idiot asked if me and you were together” Sweet Pea ran a hand through his hair frustratedly as he continued to speak, “I said yes, then after that he started calling us names... I couldn’t handle it, I didn’t care about me,” Sweet Pea looked up at you, this time his eyes sad, (gif 2) “but it was when he said your name that I lost it”

You stood there with your mouth open and your eyes wide. one: Pea had told Fangs about you and him, two: now probably everyone knew, and three: you were trying to be annoyed at Pea for telling your personal business but somehow you couldn’t. It made you swoon how protective he was of you, and Fangs was his best friend after all. “(Y/N) say something” Sweet Pea pleaded as he took a step closer to you. You had been standing there for almost a minute in silence with your mouth open in shock, but you quickly snapped it shut then looked at your boyfriend with loving eyes.

“You can’t let people like that make you angry, I know it’s easier said than done but... sweets you could have killed him” you argued slightly, hating seeing him hurt. his right under eye was already beginning to bruise and his knuckles were now sliced open with blood slowly seeping down his fingers. “so? I’m a serpent (Y/N) I would have killed him, I wanted to” Pea replied with a growl, his eyebrows furrowing together in a frown. you couldn’t believe the words that had just come out of his mouth, you were a serpent to but you would never kill someone intentionally. “Sweet Pea don’t even say that!” he flinched at his full name coming out of your mouth, you hadn’t called him that since that steamy night in the truck.

“why the hell not? It’s true!” he yelled back, his hot head getting the best of him. he was now trying to tower you, but being the same height as him was not working in his favour at the moment. “because you can’t go around saying that, you’re a serpent and if the wrong person heard you...” “oh please! do you really think a fucking northsider could take me down? don’t be stupid.” Sweet Pea scoffed, his eyes staring daggers at you. you were from the northside, and his attitude right now was to much. you folded your arms across your chest and glared at him. “you seem to forget that I am from the northside, so yeah a ‘fucking northsider’ has already taken you down, think about that later on when you’re alone.” you snapped, turning around on your heel and walking off towards your house. “fine, I will! run off back to the northside!” Pea yelled after you, causing you to turn around and pull the middle finger as you continued on to the bridge.

It was true, you were a northsider. until your dad decided to run off leaving you and your mum to fend for yourselves. you and your mum stayed with Archie and Fred for a few weeks but it got to much, and you ended up becoming close with Jughead again. that was when you and your mum had to make the move to the southside as it was all she could afford. but it had felt more like home than the northside ever did and you’d loved it until now. you and Sweet Pea were so fresh into the relationship that it made you sad you two had had your first argument over something so stupid. you missed your stuttering boy in your bedroom at 3 am. but right now his temper was getting the best of him and you didn’t want to be around that. your heart began to ache in your chest as you already began to miss him.

• • •

your phone vibrated loudly under your pillow, waking you up from your half asleep state. you rubbed your eyes with a yawn, then as all the events of that night came rushing back into your mind you felt that annoying tingle of sadness in your chest. you looked towards your window expecting it to be morning but it was still pitch black outside. your phone vibrated again, and as you looked at the new text message that lit up your screen your heart sped up a little.

please talk 2 me

the last message of ten read. Sweet Pea had texted you many times before that, all asking where you were and if you were okay. you unlocked your phone and began typing back.

what do you want?

you pressed send and dropped the phone onto your bed. all you wanted was him right now but you were still upset at the way he had spoken to you. ��ding’

you... where are u?

you smiled down at your phone screen.

I’m at home

I’m comin

at his last text message you shot up out of bed and tried to freshen yourself up. you sprayed on some cologne, pulled on your jeans and a shirt and tried your best to tidy your crazy bed hair. ‘ding’

open ur window

you hurried over to your window and slid it open as quietly as you could. Sweet Pea began to climb, and once he was in your room he stood still and stared at you with puppy eyes, making your heart ache for him. “don’t look at me like that” you whispered, frustrated he was making you cave. Sweet Pea whined and walked over to your bed, sitting down with a loud thump. “I’m sorry... I can’t... control my emotions sometimes and you...” Sweet Pea rubbed at his face, his knuckles now taped up and the first thought that popped into your head was Toni. “you make me feel all these... feelings and I feel...” Pea looked up at you. “I feel like I’m going insane”

his face was sad but his eyes were full of passion, causing arousal and excitement to swirl around in your body. but you wanted to keep your cool for now. “insane?” you inquired, leaning your bottom against the dresser. “yes, like nuthouse insane... I’ve never felt like this b-before, fuck!” Sweet Pea stood up half in embarrassment, half in frustration. he went to knock his fist into your wall but before he could you reached forward and grabbed his forearm, whisper shouting at him to be quiet. “calm down, it’s okay” Sweet Pea looked at you sideways with his jaw clenched. you couldn’t keep your cool anymore, you wanted to hold him again, comfort him from all his worries.

you tugged him against you and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face into the crook of his neck. “sweets it’s okay, I understand what you mean with your emotions, and I feel the same to” he gratefully wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you even closer to him. “you can’t handle your emotions either?” you couldn’t help but chuckle against him. “I was more meaning the ‘going insane’ part, I really, really like you” you half whispered, nervous at what he would say next. “you sure?” he asked, pulling back to look you in the eye. you nodded, a smirk beginning to form on your lips. “want me to show you?” you said as seductively as you could.

Sweet Pea’s pupils dilated bigger and he nodded his head, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. you ran your hands slowly down his neck, then pushed his serpent jacket off his shoulders, revealing his faded plaid shirt. your fingers went to work on the buttons and as you undid the last button, he ripped his shirt off himself and hooked his fingers around the loops of your jeans, pulling you against him. you gasped in delight as his torso was fully on show, and boy did he look good. his dog tags clanged against his chest as he pulled your own shirt over your head, causing your hair to stick up in all different directions. he then leaned down to kiss you, but you turned your head in denial.

“It’s my turn to show you, remember?” you whispered, your lips moving to his neck. Pea nodded then tilted his head to the side and you left slow, open mouthed kisses all the way up his neck until you reached his serpent tattoo, your tongue outlining the faded green snake on his neck. Sweet Pea moaned loudly, his hands squeezing your hips. you pulled away slightly, locked your eyes with his in a lustful stare off, then slowly got down on your knees, causing his eyes to widen in excitement. “remember to be quiet” you whispered, your hands moving to unpop the button on his tented jeans. Sweet Pea bit his bottom lip, watching you with every sense in his body.

his jeans and boxers hit the floor quietly and you wasted no time in taking him in your mouth. you lapped your tongue up his shaft then swirled it around his tip, causing him to throw his head back in pleasure. you sucking him off like this turned him on so much, that he thought he might cum to quickly. his cock throbbed in arousal and his hands moved into your hair as he refrained from pushing himself deeper into your mouth. Sweet Pea looked at you, his eyes glazed over in lust. as sexy as you looked down there pleasing him, all he wanted was to feel you against him again. his heart ached and his hands throbbed to touch you. “(Y/N)” he whispered breathlessly, causing you to look up at him. he grabbed you by your shoulders and pulled you onto your feet, his lips colliding with yours in a heated kiss.

his tongue pushed its way into your mouth and you groaned against his lips, your own cock throbbing with need against your tight jeans. “let me show you now” he whispered, his usual brown eyes almost black in color. a hint of excitement shot through your chest as you decided you weren’t going to make it easy for him. he may be cute, he may have confessed his feelings for you all over again and made you swoon, but the way he talked to you earlier was unacceptable and he needed to be taught a lesson. you pulled away slowly and began to fake yawn. “hmm, but I’m just a stupid northsider” you hummed, smirking at him. Sweet Pea clenched his jaw together and for a moment you thought he was going to spiral into another anger fit, but instead he smirked to, his eyes reading sex.

“you were once,” he began, then his eyes moved to your serpent jacket hanging on the back of your closed door. “but now?” he placed his hand on the side of your face, his dark eyes reconnecting with yours. “now you’re my southside boy” your insides melted and you bit your bottom lip, completely enveloped with the tall boy in front of you. Sweet Pea ran his thumb along your cheek, his smirk making you weak in the knees. ‘fuck this’ you thought to yourself in your head before you pressed your lips against his firmly, not caring about the way he spoke to you before, all you wanted now was to feel every inch of him and that’s what you would get.

[loveg1rl-remade]

write short descriptions of your favourite mutuals/friends and then tag them (but not next to their descriptions) and try to make them guess which one is theirs!

i did two parts bc i did a lot of ppl! ppl are tagged in alphabetical order dfjskfn also i hope y'all can guess your number 🚶🚶🚶

p1. 

@01bri @1aju @1oveful @2blushy @chanilovehours @doyoung @fruittxt @himlo @jenolees @junghwasgf

01 - omg we were JUST talking today… we always hit each other up for drama its p funny sjdfksldj i love hearing them talk just in general. they have a lot of good energy and it makes me happy that they like me enough to like. willingly hit me up i think thats really cute and i love that… also theyre always going to concerts and i think thats really cute i hope they hve a really good time :( they always have my back n i love talking to them !! angel 

02 - my sweetheart!!! they’re really the funniest we used to talk ALL the time before school started :( i miss them a lot but honestly i love when they spam me with notifs :’) jsdfkjsd i remember when we first met n we talked about divergent and the bts visual novel it was HONESTLY really iconic… they’re a year under me but honestly it feels like we’ve known each other for a while !! they have a lot of love in their heart and their love for a certain few ppl (starting w t) is so sweet :( i love how we both procrastinate and stay up until like 2 for everything anyway ily and i miss u! 

03 -  omg.. i feel like they’re my younger sister… i really don’t deserve such a ray of sunshine! whenever i’m down they always send me the sweetest asks and messages and once they even told me abt their day out of nowhere i just thought that was really cute :( they’re ALWAYS cheering me on and it is really really sweet !! they make me rlly happy nsdfkjsd even just seeing their asks that start with “GIRL!!!” yea :’) they’re the brightest star w the cutest personality

04. we talked for like four hours about grapes once and that’s how we became friends… uhh i love them a LOT !!! they are really so kind and supportive and we get along really well?? they have a callout list for me kjdfdsf honestly we have a lot of inside jokes and it’s really cute. they changed my opinion abt taureans (U SHOULD KNOW WHO U ARE BY NOW .. ) and i just love how we can talk about anythin????? also your sleep schedule is SUPER screwed up but its chill bc that means we can talk more ndfkjsdkf i love you angel !! 

05. i will LITERALLY never forget the time i was feeling like absolute SHIT and they took the time to write out like an ESSAY for me and it’s saved and screenshotted and immortalized forever in my heart it really meant a lot for someone to like. take the time out to do that for me and im so grateful…we don’t even post the same content anymore but they always interact w my posts and check up on me and send me asks… i love them a lot lot lot! on my old blog they’d send me the cutest asks too im grateful and lucky to have them in my life :’) 

06. they know who they are !! my one n only!! we talk every single day and somehow they don’t get sick of me which is a feat in of itself. super creative and caring and empathetic and strong and selfless and just? a really good person. they have the biggest heart and the most love to give. they’re also really hard on themselves :( my biggest cheerleader n the love of my life.. if you haven’t figured out who you are yet i’ll send jeno over to talk some sense into you (*tell you he loves you)

07. soooo soft :( everything about them is soft!! they hav a lot of love for a certain bunny boy and they’re always always tagging ppl in things i think it’s so unbelievably kind. they’re always spreading kindness and joy and is such a ray of sunshine!! i really really lov them a lot ! 

08. o man where do i start?? they’re really full of a lot of love… they’re always love posting abt their best friend and that really makes me so happy that they have such a positive good person in their life… anyway we always send each other cute asks periodically to check on each other & we’re always helping each other out when we go through emo moods… anyway they’re applying to college at the same time i am and i remember stressing out abt it with them but i KNOW we’ll both be fine i lovve them :’)

09. seriously a big source of support for me even if we don’t talk on the daily!! they always have really good advice to give and even when like. No Advice Can Be Given they’re always lending an listening ear. they’re really cute i love how mature they are !! besides giving rlly insightful n thoughtful advice.. uh they’re just a rockstar! they’re a little bit younger than me but they always try their best and help others out and it’s really admirable. plus they said they love making playlists and i just thought that was the cutest thing :/

10. we haven’t had a lot of conversations together but theyre really just the sweetest :( ever :( i was going through a hard time n they sent me so many sweet asks and messages. its always nice to know there are ppl who care abt u and this person is just SO caring in general!! they’re always tagging ppl in sweet things and doing their best and it is much appreciated !! much like their name they rlly are. the best and the brightest

– 

p2. 

@kimjunnoodle @lazy-gudetama @pastelunnie @rapgodkth @rosehyuck @snowedjin @taehn @taeilsgrl @taeyyongs

11. UGH another sweetheart … they’re always sending me the sweetest long asks checking up on me and they’re always interacting n communicating and talking abt stuff they’re passionate abt it i really love it ?????? i miss talking to them !! they would send me the cutest dog pictures :( i always see them around spreading love and happiness and warmth .. they have a lot of love and compassion in their heart. i always look forward to their asks and replies!!

12.  my EVERYTHING!!!! i saw their selfies like yesterday n they rlly knocked my socks off imagine being so pretty!!!! they are really an icon it was so cute talking to them abt our wedding :/ they’re a lot of fun they go from super soft to super funny and like, theyre either loveposting or talking about furries i think its the funniest thing ever. anyway they’re a total sweetheart n the best hyuck stan so yeah ! i love love

13. omg …. they’re SO considerate they’re always tagging me in those “associate ur mutuals with” posts and it’s honestly really cute ??? they have my kidneys and my left lung and my Whole heart :( the biggest sweetest tae stan ! super sweet and lovely and funny !!! we don’t talk a lot but i’m always cheering them on behind the scenes!! they always interact w my not funny stupid posts and hype me up theyre just. really great to be with and im grateful to b mutuals 

14. i’ve known you the longest!!!!!!!! i have all ur jk fics saved omg :( you’re the sweetest bean and i love talking to you.. even tho we don’t talk on the regular anymore it’s always so sweet hearing from you and i love how we always update each other when smthing important happens in our lives!!!! i love watching the videos u send ur voice is rlly the cutest n i remember the first tme i heard it i started crying anyway i still have your christmas card saved and i love you a whole freaking lot im still waiting to go on a date with u :( my tall gf

15. UH we literally talk and just. gush over how cute girls are …. jsfdasdf we ALWAYS tell each other beef no matter what sfjdsk they really have such a caring n chill personality. we think alike so it’s really nice telling them abt things i need help with because i always get a good second perspective on it… they’re always here to listen to me (even late at night when they have work the next day)… they’re a bit like my older sister i trust them a lot !! i really love how they always update me on things even tho i SUCK ass at messaging so :) anyway i love them a lot (move to california sooner!) 

16. one of the funniest most down to earth ppl i’ve ever met. memes are iconic and every single conversation we have i always manage to laugh bc their comedic timing is amazing and yea they’re just an all around great person. they’re my movie buddy and we can also really talk abt anything??? like we’re super comfortable around each other which is super cool n i’m grateful. we can talk for hours n hours … and yeah .. they’re also super sweet and always support me through everything! we have a lot of inside joke its cute & i’m glad i met this person i really am :’)

17. hdfsfn.. really. they really own my heart.. honestly i couldn’t have asked for a better mutual???????? they are Top Tier quality one of kind…they have like thousands upon thousands of followers and they always always promo me … im so undeserving of their love… AND AND THEY ALWAYS SEND ME ASKS …. even when like. im being annoying and ask stupid questions no one wants to answer they always write out a whole paragraph and it makes my WHOLE world ten times over im so grateful for them … i have the strawberry emoji on like all of their asks bc i want to keep all of them thats how much i appreciate the time n effort they show me … wrow… the cutest and best ever i love them a LOT! 

18. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re so motherly to me …. they’re always looking out for me and making sure i’m doing ok and i think that’s just the sweetest best thing ever :( they’re really sweet n pretty AND funny i always love seein their posts… they’re one of my few exo mutuals and i LOVE IT ! I LOVE THEM! they are sosososo soft their tags for their man are really the cutest too… they’re one of those mutuals who switch from loveposting to toesucking and it’s the best and funniest i love them! once i was sick n they sent me like two asks making sure i was ok and . wrow. i couldnt have asked for anyone better

19.  mMmMmMm i remember i thought they hated me and then it turns out they didn’t and i was SO relieved bc they’re so sweet and funny and :( just a really great person. they did a lil astrology analysis for me and it was so spot on i’d trust them with my life and my savings and my posterity…. uhhh they have a heart of gold they’re always looking out for others and trying their best n it’s really admirable. they also have such a good sense of humor!! a treasured mutual who owns my heart :( 

[chickenfetus]

ALL MY EGG (and for the four names: jae, killer kang, minhyuk (whichever one), and santa

deadass i did the 100 questions ask meme for this ask and almost posted it rip

🐰 what is one secret that you’ve never told anyone?

theres literally nothing i dont even know what to say ???? 

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be?

not 2 be delusional but i would give up my world to hug changkyun

🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

glaceon is UP THERE idk why honestly but the sinnoh games were my first and i just??? i was really into ice and snow and shit u know so glaceon... thakn u

another pkmn ill always have is lucario ????? its just so cool?????

🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?

hopefully forgiveness and like???? acknowledging mistakes and learning from those u know jst positive stuff and like?? water. god i love water

👀 what was the most recent vivid dream that you had?

hm okay i think this one was from last night or the night b4??? and like???? idk???? i dont even know how 2 start tbh?

so im like hanging over at this two kid’s im a kid 2 i think place and idk we just talk and shit??? idk whomst the boys were tho

and then we get to a scene where its like??? at a train station???? and i go to the washroom to shit or smth idk thankfully i didnt shit myself irl

then i have to get onto the train which isnt even a train its like a carousel with seats??? and its like on a train track boys this is 2 much and i forgot to get ready my train card thing so the guy (who i was p sure was evil) waited for me to remove it so i got onto the transportation device lmao

and then once im seated i remember i forgot my jacket so i make like hand movements 2 the creep and hes runnig 2 me with my jakcet but the ride’s way too fast so i yell and say ill come back for it even tho im p sure i wasnt going 2

after that i wke up wild

���️ what do you like the most about your best friend?

i dont have a best friend and all of my friends have their own unique qualities if i went into a rant abt them rn this will b so long

😘 talk about your crush or partner

[minhyuk voice] theres none

💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?

ya bc im petty but it really depends on the person

🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)

my personality (the good parts)

my values

my taste in friends (my Big Friends are either geminis or scorpios good)

🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?

the dark and bitch isnt gonna turn off her night light any time soon

🎁 what never fails to make you happy?

seeing my favourite happy, listening to the music i like 

💙 what annoys you about some people?

i jjust went into a full out rant abt this on the other reply so ill be quiet now

😤 do you get angry easily?

yeahhhhh 

🐇 what do you always daydream about?

my faves tbh

🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?

bad people , gone.

everybody only sends love and happy things on anon

i just want everyone 2 b nice & friendly wars of any sort dont exist and no one wants anybody dead

🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?

if u sent jae’s name earlier id have trouble so im glad

kiss: tihis is so fucking embarrassing wtf minhyku (mx) but only on the cheek basically everywhere except the lips or anyplace weird

befriend: brian :-0

kill: jae goodbye loser

marry: sanha we can yell every time we gotta turn the lights off

✈️ what is your dream city and why?

tokyo bc its NICE

☕️ talk about your ideal day

cant read

🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?

i suddenly thought of the word ambivore which made me think of the word vore i wanna delete im a both? mayb idk

💧 when was the last time you cried?

nov 3 bc my heart hurts whenever i see ppl being a bad friend

🎵 name 5 songs you love at the moment

oh worm

all alone - day6

with you - astro

dramarama - mx (even though it isnt out yet lmao)

run - bts (the superior bts song)

hellevator - / (i was rly gonna make this mixed languages but rip)

⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?

to fly bc im basic

💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

dont do that

💚 who are you jealous of and why?

nobody in general????????? 

💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?

intelligence i have 2 live somehow what if my money gets stolen

🙊 what are you ashamed of?

my humor

🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?

i (barely) know chinese despite having 2 take it all my life legends only

i know english but im bad at that 2 and its my first language once again legends only

i wanna learn japanese and korean 

🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?

the cow from voltron 

☁️ talk about your dream universe.

weve already discussed this

💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today?

oh w-0rm ok so im a regular anon on this persons blog and i wanted to send an ask but never got arnd doing it so im gonna send her one. soon/

🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?

let me live my life as a furry and cat

🍄 talk about someone/something you really dislike

are u ready 4 me to b the meanest person yet bc i sure am lets fucking go

so theres this girl. and i know her (unfortunately) and ive known her since like 4 years ago and back then she was already pretty shit tbh

she cried bc she had to sit in between the “weird” and “dirty” girls in our class and she headass cried in front of them and everyone just bc she didnt like the arrangement?? shes called the “dirty” girl disgusting before and has made fun of her in front of everybody its just bad :-/

now. fast forward 3 years and in addition to still being disrespectful and rude, she now vocalizes her weird fantasies for her “oppas”??? some examples: 

“when i go watch __ perform im gonna climb onto stage and then my mother and my future husband will fight for me” and she calls those kpop idols weird shit and basically sexualizes them/???? she says the weirdest fucking shit on her ig story and tags them??????? 

another thing. she went to korea nd took a picture of a complete stranger and posted it on her public ig and called him her “oppa” and said that they had a “fun day together” despite the guy not knowing her at all???? she posted the pic of him??? i still dont get it tbh 

she wasnt even being ironic at all??? she calls herself & classmates “autistic” whenever she/others do smth dumb or mess up and its just sososososo fucking wrong

being one of the people to see how shes basically grown from bad to worse is something i dont fucking enjoy and i jsut want to leave my class already lmao 

ok but there are times where i do appreciate her because sometimes the class will be rly quiet and the teacher is basically talking 2 themselves but she’ll always respond w/o fail so thats great but its only bc she talks so damn much 

i just got a flashback to when she “jokingly” said she wanted to be a trainee for the rest of her life how do i just. god

😣 talk about some things that have been making you depressed/angry/anxious lately

we’ve once again already discussed this

🍪 what did you want to be as a kid, and what do you want to be now?

i wanted to be various things honestly?? ranging from an astronaut to a vet to an editor to an animator to other stuff i get influenced pretty easily so if i watch smth and i think its cool ill want 2 be that i guess?? ive been trying 2 get rid of that habit so now i have no clue what i wanna be

🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?

sweets and chocolate cake

🍑 what are you obsessed with?

drinking water and staying hydrated

making my friends laugh is great 2

💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?

acne LMAO 

😪 what are you sick of?

the usual

🙀 are you an adrenaline seeker?

i love scouting on sif and bandori so yeah 

💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?

lets not 

☔️ would you consider yourself a good person?

to a certain extent

😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?

use my phone???? send nice anons and comment on art/fics 

🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?

none

🐝 what’s your worst trait? how are you planning to improve it?

my tolerance for ppl’s shit is so low

🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?

my ocs

🐻 what’s stopping you from chasing your dreams?

i dont have a dream hence myself

🌷 what’s your mbti personality and why do you think it suits you?

infpt i dont rmb shit but yeah

🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!

falen i dont rmb what u sent

👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why?

i dont follow any :-o zendaya has had my heart ever since shake it off tho

🐴 opinion on day6?

ur rly gonna do this 2m e?

all alone just started playng this is terrible lets get it

so day6. a band i only found out about in late june (thank u boxy) and before this i only ever listened to bts and mx bc my friends stan them so i thought i was gonna expect boys dancing, the usual. 

i clicked i smile and i lost my fucking shit as soon as i saw the instruments because prior to day6 i was a big 5sos fan so this was rly resonating to me tbh and i was just !!! so fukcng excited??? i never intended to even get into day6 honestly??? but after witnessing how good they are and watching about all of the available mvs at that point i was completely in awe so i caved a created a stan twitter for them.

now, this isnt even the most of it. after becoming a fan i realized how much more these 5 boys are. they compose (if im not wrong) and brian writes lyrics for the songs each month because of their everyday6 project and again, im wow-ed because??? the amount of dedication???? they went from releasing 2 title tracks in 2 years to releasing 12 title tracks and 12 bside tracks in a single year. they havent released the december song yet but haviing to work on 2 or more songs in 4 weeks is fucking amazing if you ask me. 

theyre really talented and theyre just so versatile (am i using that word correctly) and each month their songs sound different. this project has given them the opportunity to try new things and you can hear the steady improvement in each of their vocals (dowoonie not so much since he barely gets lines, but we all know hes working hard) and if you listen to their debut song - kongchu and compare it to the version they released along with sunrise it just???? the drumming has even changed from the original version nd its so noticeable that whenever i hear kongchu from 2015 i know its the old ver

to add to those, they do vlives every week and although those vlives are always scheduled it still makes my day seeing them and watching them do the usual. 

one thing im upset about is that how they barely promote themselves, they rarely get on variety shows (the most is individual schedules) and we, as mydays never really get to know the boys so its harder to fall for them as a whole. i dont know if its jyp or day6′s decision but if this is how they want to be known for - their music only, then so be it. we still have jae’s presence on youtube, music access and asc. thats the most we can get and it makes it difficult for us to learn about the rest but thats okay.

another thing. their concerts are something i always look forward to (even though my interest has died down a bit;) their concerts are just so fun to listen to?? there’ll always be mydays who stream the concert so everyone else can listen to them play and they sound so good live it drives me crazy. mydays are always so hyped and whenever mydays sing along it just gives me goosebumps??? bc theyre so???? good????? 

tldr; day6 deserve more, following wise and promotions wise because they work so hard and once this project ends i hope they’ll manage to rest but still remain as a presence that will be known instead of returning to jyp’s dungeon.

🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?

there are days where i am more emotional than usual 

📚 share 3 books that you love and your favourite quote from them.

this is tiring

😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?

i sleep and boy it really helps

😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?

rest

🌍 which country do you live in?

singapore

🐧 describe yourself in 3 words

lame funny swag

🐵 which quotes changed you?

“rocky swag” - park minhyuk, 2017

💭 do you keep a diary?

nope

💫 who inspires you?

brian kang 

👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?

yes bc i love losing sleep

🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?

terrible

🎬 what are some of your favourite films?

i watched spiderman homecoming and i have no idea why i didnt see the plot twist coming but its GOOD watch it

🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?

theres none lads

🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?

all my internet buddies but sometimes i dont want to bc im kinda....gross

[kate-writes-fluff]

If you're still doing dialogue prompts? 160? For whatever you want?

160.  [text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

When I saw this, I thought of Jean, so @tiggeryumyumm I decided to work in your Valentine’s day themed jeanmarco in the same prompt.

Sorry for the wait!  I’ve been fighting some real writer’s block.

Jean: Who says no to sex and donuts?!

Eren: just bc i work at a bakery doesn’t mean u can take advantage of it

Jean: I just thought it would sweeten the deal ;)

Eren: obviously it didn’t work

Jean: T-T

Eren: considering how thin the walls are in our apartment, i’m grateful for ur lackluster flirting skills

Jean: …. Rude

Jean locks his phone and sighs as lets himself into their apartment.  It’s only 5 a.m., about a half hour after the Wings of Freedom closes for the night and therefore way too early in the morning to deal with Eren’s teasing.  Jean drags his feet as he makes his way to his cluttered bedroom, exhausted from both his most recent rejection and a long night of wiping down tables at the bar.  He simply throws his uniform–which chronically reeks of alcohol–into a corner of the room as he strips, not even bothering to throw on pajamas before he flops into bed and promptly falls asleep.

Hours later he’s ripped away from a pleasant dream about a handsome stranger with plump kissable lips and warm, welcoming arms by an annoying buzzing noise uncomfortably close to his ear.  Jean groans as he fumbles, finally finding his phone underneath his pillow with the display lit up with a new message.  Part of him wants to ignore it, but he knows that if Eren pities him enough he might offer to bring him food–but only if he replies before he changes his mind.

Turns out, the text is from Eren, but it’s a picture of a flyer with no words attached.  He can’t help but groan as he taps the image to enlarge it and squint at the tiny, pixelated words his brain isn’t awake enough to comprehend yet.

“Valentine’s Meet Up,” it says in a curly romantic font.  “Hang out with other singles and donate your time to brighten someone’s day.  Make friends and meet someone new.”

Before Jean can think of a coherent response, though “what the fuck” would probably be a decent enough answer, Eren texts him again.

Eren:  i signed u up

Jean: whyyyyy?

Eren: bc ur single +whiney + u have a day off on 2/14

         also ur a romantic loser so i know ur gonna be extra whiney on V day

Jean: ….

Eren:  u kno im right. Accept it

Jean:  i only read this text b/c i thought you were offering me food

Eren:  if i bring u a donut will u stop complaining

Jean: its a start

Eren: i hate u

Jean puts his phone on his dresser and sighs happily as he relaxes back into his pillow, looking forward to the treat his roommate will inevitably bring him.

Jean makes good on his promise and doesn’t complain about the singles anonymous meeting Eren has signed him up for.  Though he makes sure to give his roommate the stink eye when he finds out that he has holiday plans of his own.

“If you’re hanging out with Mikasa and Armin, then why couldn’t you just let me tag along?”  Jean whines, turning to give his roommate the most pitiful expression he can muster from beside him on their lumpy clearance-sale couch.

Eren doesn’t bother to look up from his phone as he promptly answers, “Because you would spend the whole day complaining and flirting with my sister.”

“Not true!  I might flirt with Armin too,” Jean flutters his eyelashes as Eren groans, turning away from him to finish texting his sister about their plans.

“Yeah, like I want to make my sister and my best friend uncomfortable all day.”

“But you’ll let your sister crash your date with your crush.”

“It’s not a date!”  Eren exclaims despite his bright pink cheeks.

“But Armin is your crush?”  Jean laughs as he reaches out to playfully ruffle his roommate’s hair, an attempt that costs him an elbow in the side.

“I hate you,” Eren groans.

“Then get your own Netflix,” Jean suggests, switching windows on his computer away from the website in question to check his email.  He makes a point to delete his junk mail as slowly as possible, just to rile up his roommate even more.  After about ten excruciatingly long minutes he’s about to give in and start the episode of Stranger Things when a new email pops up in his inbox.

“It’s for that Valentine’s thing,” Jean remarks, catching Eren’s attention.  He crowds over Jean’s shoulder to watch as he opens the message.

Dear Mr. Kirstein,

Thank you for expressing interest in helping to set up and organize the Valentines Meet Up event.  Would you mind meeting me at the bakery to discuss planning details?

Thanks,

Marco Bodt

There’s a moment of silence as they stare blankly at the polite message before Jean pointedly glares over his shoulder.  ���Eren!  I thought you signed me up for the event, not the planning committee!!”

“Whoops,” Eren shrugs and leans back into his own spot on the couch, giving his roommate the space he needs to properly fume.

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” Jean accuses, narrowing his eyes into an even harsher glare.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  Eren turns his attention back to his phone, pointedly avoiding further eye-contact as he resumes texting.  Jean puffs his cheeks angrily, unsure whether the avoidance is a sign of guilt or exactly how little Eren cares about the situation.

“… That’s it, we’re watching Hart of Dixie.”

“No!” Eren exclaims, dropping his phone in his lap as he finally returns eye contact.

“If you signed me up to be a romantic sap for the full week until Valentine’s day, well then I’m going to start now.”

Eren groans but shifts in his seat to see the screen better.  “It’s not even romantic, they’re just idiots for the sake of drama.”

Though Jean agrees with him there, he can’t help but roll his eyes at the remark.  “You can complain when you have an actual love-life, Mr. I’m-in-love-with-my-bff-but-I’m-too-scared-to-say-anything.”

“Says the chronic single,” Eren bites back, digging his elbow into a ticklish spot in Jean’s side, making the other man squirm.  “I hope you meet someone at the stupid event so you’re too busy being stupid and in love to bother me anymore.”

“You and me both.  Watching you guys flirt is more excruciating than watching Zoe and Wade go back and forth.”

Eren grumbles profanities under his breath for several minutes before he angrily remarks, “Are you going to start the show or not?”

Jean sighs as his alarm goes off at 11 a.m. the next day.  Working nights means that on a normal day, he tends to sleep through the afternoon.  But thanks to Eren, he has plans to meet the event guy at the bakery that cut his much-needed sleep short.

The night before had been a long, tiring day and even as he wakes up he still feels tired and listless, barely able to keep his eyes open.  Maybe if he was more awake, he would have put the effort into dressing for a first impression.  But the fact is, he’s simply too tired to care.  So he slips into a pair of sweatpants and a flannel shirt, not even bothering to comb his hair before he shoves his shoes onto his feet and stumbles out the door.

Eren’s wiping down the counter when he arrives at the Braus’ bakery.  As Jean slumps against the customer side of the counter, Eren shoots him a distasteful look.  “Really, not even an effort?”  

Jean finds enough effort to roll his eyes.  “Give me the sugar I need to get through this.”

Eren grunts an affirmative as he reaches into the display case to pull out a raspberry filled donut.  As Jean pulls out his wallet to begrudgingly pay–though this is all his roommate’s fault, he knows better than asking him to pay too often–Eren nods toward one of the front tables.  “Marco’s here already.”

As Jean turns to find the person he’s meeting, he suddenly wishes he had bothered to look in a mirror before he left the apartment.  Dressed in a spotless lilac button-down and steam-pressed gray slacks, the man looks as put together as Jean isn’t.  But by this point, Jean is just too tired to even think about running back to his apartment to scrounge up an outfit that looks half decent.  Though he does quickly finger-comb his hair before he slides into the chair opposite the man.

“Hi!  Are you Jean?”  The man smiles brightly at his approach, making Jean regret his clothing choices all over again.  Because that dimpled smile single-handedly makes his heart clench and his hands start to sweat.  Though the freckles across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose certainly make the expression far more endearing than anything larger than a baby animal should ever be.  In contrast, Jean can almost feel the bags under his eyes and wonders what the stranger thinks about the hot mess he regrettably is.

“Yeah.” Jean does his best to smile politely, though it falls short.  His cheeks feel stiff and his flirting muscles are not quite awake enough to throw out his usual charms.  “Are we waiting for anyone else?”  He takes a moment to look around the shop and though there are few people getting breakfast to go, there aren’t many people milling around.

“No… you’re the only volunteer.”  Marco threads his fingers around his coffee cup and looks crestfallen for a moment before he smiles again.  “Let’s start brainstorming, shall we?” he suggests as he pulls out a small spiral notebook and a pen.

“Um, sure.  What do you have in mind?”

Marco eagerly flips the page in his notebook, revealing rows upon rows of neat handwriting and messy doodles and diagrams.  “I’m so glad you asked.”

The following week is the busiest Jean’s had in years.  Whenever he turns around, he’s making bright colored paper chains or folding squares of paper and cutting out paper shapes, filling his and Eren’s apartment with boxes upon boxes of decorations.  Whenever Jean gets ready for work, he can hear Eren stumbling and cursing over the new boxes that appear while he’s out of the apartment.  It would be funnier if Jean didn’t trip over the damn things himself, too.

The highlight of all the paper toil is that Marco is loathe to make him work alone.  During the week, they meet up at the bakery at noon, where Marco spends his lunch break away from the library decorating the place with him.  (Jean makes a mental note to pay the local library a visit someday soon.)

Even after spending so much time together, Jean doesn’t find himself tiring of Marco.  In fact, with each day he looks forward to every time he leaves to return to work, Jean finds himself actually looking forward to the next day even more.  Marco is just as charming as he was the first day they met, cheerful, creative, and fun.  

Unwilling to repeat the embarrassment of their first meeting, Jean’s careful to pick the best outfits in his closet for their afternoon meetings.  He can’t help but blush the day Marco compliments a shirt ornamented with an iron-on transfer of one of his own art prints.

Jean has always been one to preen over compliments, but the sheer sincerity in Marco’s voice and smile as he gives them is enough to fluster him every time.  Halfway through the week, Jean realizes that his attraction for Marco is slowly growing more than skin-deep.  That day, Marco laughs cheerfully at even the shittiest of his puns–a quip about Eren being the real breadwinner in their roommate relationship because bussing tables doesn’t exactly set the bar high–and Jean softens.

By the weekend, Jean finally finds the guts to invite Marco over, so they can watch movies while they create card supplies.  Marco brings takeout and they eat together on his lumpy couch.  When Jean watches tv with Eren, they have no qualms about personal space, throwing arms and legs into the lap of the other at a whim because they’ve learned not to care about boundaries after years of living together.  Here, with Marco, Jean is fully aware of just how small the sofa is and just the barest brushing of skin against skin is enough to make him jittery.  

Marco doesn’t seem to mind his nervousness, too busy laughing at the antics of the characters of The Grand Budapest Hotel and flashing smiles Jean’s way when a particularly funny line is spoken.  Jean confides that he’s an aspiring artist working at the bar only to make money in the meantime, so Marco makes an effort to point out the parts he finds visually inspiring.  He enjoys the pastel color palettes–strikingly similar to the colors of his dress shirts– and cheerfully taps Jean’s knee to point out the most brightly colorful scenes.  (He likes the pinks of the Mendl’s boxes the most.)

At nine o’ clock, Marco needs to leave and Jean has to get dressed for another night working the bar.  As Jean locks the door behind them, Marco hesitates for a moment, twisting his fingers together.  “I’ve heard that In the Mood for Love is a really visually interesting movie too.  And I’ve been dying to see it,” he remarks off-handedly, looking down the hall at the flickering lights instead of at Jean.

“Sounds cool,” he says, words that seem like the understatement of the century.  

For the first time ever, he smiles through his whole shift at work.

“Do you guys have to come flirt at my workplace every day?”  Eren asks on February 13th.  “It’s sorta gross.”

Jean’s ears warm but he scoffs at the question, “We are not flirting.  He just happens to actually appreciate my jokes.  Unlike some people.”  

Eren snorts.  “The only way he’d find you funny is if he has a crush.”  He leans against the oven door casually, enjoying watching Jean squirm with embarrassment for once.

Jean huffs in retaliation, “Less talking, more baking.  If we’re doing to decorate cookies tomorrow, we need cookies.”

Finally it’s the night of Valentine’s day and Jean’s nervous.  All their hard work is on display, hung up around the bakery, decorating it with reds and pinks from head to toe.  Trays of fresh cookies are ready to decorate and paper pieces are prepared for cards.

The cheerfully colored donation boxes are set up in the front of the room, listing the names of local hospitals and orphanages that are accepting cards.  The slogan “Give a card, give a smile,” hangs on a banner directly behind the boxes.

Sugary sweet pop music starts playing as Marco returns from the sound system, setting up a themed playlist from his phone.  Jean tries not to stare at the pink tie the man has on–the same color as the Mendl’s boxes in the movie they had seen together.

“It’s almost time,” Marco smiles, threading his fingers together restlessly.  “People should start arriving anytime now.”  The air between them seems charged with anxious restlessness.  Suddenly, in their last moments alone together it hits Jean that once the day is over, once they clean up the bakery, they’ll lose their excuses to see each other.

It doesn’t really matter that over the course of the week, Jean has learned that Marco’s favorite color is teal and that Persuasion is his favorite Jane Austen novel.  That Marco didn’t tease him when Jean confided that his favorite childhood movie was The Princess Bride.  It doesn’t matter that Jean showed Marco his art portfolio and the other man enthusiastically admired it, saying that if he ever finished writing his book he’d love to commission him to design the cover.

Once the event is done, they no longer have a reason to spend so much time together.

The shop bell rings and people start arriving, forcing the two men to separate and socialize, doing their best to keep the mingling running as smoothly as possible.  (Honestly, Jean hates this sort of thing, but after all the work they had done, he can’t weasel his way out of chaperoning a bunch of adults for a night.)

Regardless of how busy Jean finds himself throughout the night, his eyes always wander to the other side of the room where Marco is cheerfully chatting with other cute single people.  

He’s busy staring instead of paying attention to the card making tables when a young woman with wavy auburn hair whistles at him.  “Yo loverboy.  This is the wrong place to stand around being lovesick,” she chides, carelessly wiping cookie crumbs off her fingers.  “Sit down, make a card.  You’ll fit in with all the unhappy singles that way.”  She grabs a sheet of cardstock out of the pile and quickly scribbles something on it before handing it over.

It messily reads “Ur hot freckleface” above a hand-drawn heart that looks remarkably like a butt.

“See, it’s half done now.”

Jean sighs but sits down to work on fix the card she started.  He grabs a pink paper heart that’s just barely large enough to cover her unromantic words.  As he glues it down, he can’t help but notice that it’s the same shade as Marco’s tie and that thought convinces him to hazard a glance over at him.  The tall man is busy chatting and working on decorating his own cookies, even as he oversees others.

It wouldn’t hurt to make my own, I guess, he muses, searching through the box of children’s markers to find a color he likes.  It’s been years since he’s made anyone a hand-made valentine.  The only friend that might appreciate one would be Armin–the most sentimental out of the group–, though Eren would definitely change the wifi passwords for that sort of “personal offence.”

After an hour, Jean and Marco switch stations; Jean overseeing the decorations of the last batch of cookies while Marco helps with the cards.  Jean slides his own card into the back pocket of his jeans, unwilling to let his newfound friend even guess toward his intentions yet.

Finally, two hours after it started, people begin to leave, many of them in small groups as they chat and exchange phone numbers.  Even the woman who “helped” Jean with his card is cheekily hanging off the arm of a stern-faced young man.  She whispers something in his ear and his cheeks flare red before she turns back to wink at Jean as they leave the building.

The floor is covered in cookie crumbs, sprinkles, and paper scraps that will be a pain to clean-up, but even so Marco still smiles.  “Looks like a success.  People walked in alone, but they’re leaving with friends.”

Jean’s card feels like a weight in his pocket and he has to concede that yeah, it really seems like a success.  

They take their time cleaning, taking away all the little sugary clues that they’d been there, that they’d prepared for a whole week over it.  Jean’s smile falls as he returns to his earlier train in thought:  that their reason for spending time together is quickly falling away as they sweep up the mess.

“Cheer up, Jean.  The night’s still young,” Marco laughs, taking a moment to turn up the speakers.  Cascada’s “Everytime We Touch” blares, bringing back memories of youtube videos Jean forgot watching.

“Where’d you find this?  What year do you think it is?  2007?”  

The music becomes a palpable presence in the room, especially as Marco begins singing along, dancing with his broom as he sweeps.  Jean cracks a smile as he laughs, leaning into the table he was in the midst of cleaning for support.  He’s laughing so hard that he doesn’t notice Marco’s approach until he leans the broom against his table.

“Mind dancing with me?  That broom is just too stiff and wooden.”  Marco holds his palm upwards, like a prince asking for a dance in the ball of a fairytale, not in an empty bakery that looks like it was ransacked by preschoolers on a sugar-high.

“I can’t dance.”  Jean waves his hands in refusal, but Marco’s grin only widens.

“Neither can I.”

Finally, Jean gives in and reaches out to hold onto Marco’s shoulders as the other man leads him around the room.  They trip and stumble on chairs they hadn’t put away yet, but they only laugh in the face of their own clumsiness, each mistake bringing their bodies even closer together.

The song ends and something slower and mellower replaces it.  Jean can feel his pulse pounding but it’s hard to be embarrassed about it when he can feel the beat of Marco’s own heart from where their chests are touching.  

“I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts.  Some superhero, some fairytale bliss.

Just something I can turn to, somebody I can kiss.”

Marco smiles breathlessly, his lips barely inches from Jean’s, and suddenly it feels a little too close and intimate, so Jean takes a step back to pull the card out of his pocket.  It’s more than a little crumpled around the edges from their romp around the shop, but Jean finds himself passing it over anyway.  It just seems… fitting.

The card is brightly colored and framed with paper hearts, but on the front it simply reads “Thanks” in Jean’s best penmanship.  Marco’s face falls a little as he looks at it, so Jean hurries to explain himself as he opens it.  “I wanted to thank you for setting this all up, because it really turned out to be a lot of fun.  And mostly because I got to meet you.  And I hope you don’t mind if I ask, but I’d really like to keep hanging out, even though Valentine’s day is over….”

Marco cuts him off with a gentle hand on his own.  “I’d really like that…  But you know, Valentine’s day isn’t over quite yet….  And there’s no one I’d rather spend it with than you.”

Jean’s cheeks burn brightly as Marco retrieves a small plastic bag from where it’s lying forgotten on the counter:  a cookie decorated with a heart and Jean spelled in pretty cursive.

They have a whole lot of cleanup left to do, but Jean really can’t bring himself to mind.  Even if he had to stay there all night, picking up each and every crumb individually with his bare fingers, he’d willingly do it if Marco would keep looking at him the way he is now, like he’s been the highlight of the night.

But the night’s still young, of course.  And if they want to watch In the Mood for Love and kiss on Jean’s couch, then they need to finish cleaning.

[dvddggs]

To the Four of Us (Part Twenty Four)

premise: modern AU chronicling the squad as they make their way through college and deal with general life things. words: 2,276 warnings: death mention, swearing, i think that’s it  all chapters: x tags: @heythereitsloey​ @anitheunicorn​ @newyorkyoucanbeanew​ @lafbagxette​ @justafangirlwithanavy​ @iamgrayfox​ @ordinaryornate​ @schuylerjoon​ @angelica-peggy-eliza​ @trashyperson101​ @crazydragon15​ @but-if-you-had-to-choose​ @geespilots​ @marvelous-hamilfan​ @5p00kygh05t @panda-powers​ @lafeyettegunsandships​ @schokoobananaa​ @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @aphboi @hell-yes-puns-and-ships​ @aham-threw-his-shot-away​ @hesitantcat​ @nonstopspook​ @hamrevolution​ @writethewayout​ @alexander-did-you-know​ @allthegoodurlshavebeentaken @sun-tree​ @angelizaandpeggy​ @isis278 @idk-destiel @engulfedinstars​ @hamiltrashuniverse​ @ahrupe​ @just-me-an-asshole​ @readfizz​ @skeletonmelodies​ @gum-and-chips​

a/n: something a lil kinder for all ur patience <3

“I don’t think I can go through this again.”

Have you ever spoken words that you didn’t realize you were thinking until they tumbled out of your mouth? Have you ever shocked yourself with the opinion of your subconscious? Have you ever said something that made you want to cry because how could you say that? Why would you think that? Is it true?

And you genuinely don’t know.

Alexander didn’t mean to say it. He didn’t want to say it. But he’d said it, and he feared that a part of him meant it. He watched his father’s eyebrows scrunch together in the rearview mirror as he opened his mouth to speak.

What would he say? Would he be disappointed? Would he understand? Would he tell Alexander to grow the fuck up and deal with it? Tell him to leave John? Take a break?

“Alex—” George began.

He was interrupted when John began to stir and lifted his head off Alexander’s shoulder. His cheek had the imprint of Alexander’s sweater on it and his hair was flattened on one side. He flashed a small, close-lipped smile, still half-asleep.

“Good morning,” John said.

Alexander raised an amused eyebrow.

“Welcome back to the world,” he said, chuckling, though he could feel his father’s concerned eyes still trained on him.

“Oh,” John replied conversationally. “I’m not staying awake. I just need to pee. Really bad.”

Fair enough.

George pulled off the highway and into the rest stop at the next exit. While John was in the bathroom, George and Alexander waited in line for coffee.

“Alex,” George tried again. “You can’t just—give up.”

Alexander took a deep breath.

“Do you think I want to? I just—I feel like I’ve been suffocating ever since I read the text, Dad. I feel like I’m reliving everything that happened with Mom. And I don’t know if I can do that again.”

George’s expression softened when Alexander’s voice broke on the last word. He grasped his son’s shoulder and looked him dead in the eyes, adopting his old military-esque discipline tactics.

“Alexander. You know what you signed up for. Even if you weren’t together, he’s still your best friend—”

“—Herc’s my best friend—”

Alexander dropped his gaze to the floor and shut up under his father’s glare.

“—and would you abandon your best friend? No man left behind. Haven’t I always taught you that? I thought you were better than this. We don’t leave people when they need us.”

Alexander sighed. He knew that his father was right.

“But—”

“But what Alex? But it’s going to be hard? You’re goddamn right it’s going to be hard. But it’s going to make you think of your mom? Yes, it is. But you don’t know how to help him? You’re helping him right now. As we speak, you’re helping him. Because he knows that he’s loved and he knows that he has someone in his corner, no matter what. When he showed up at the train station, you were helping him. When he woke up in your bed, you were helping him. Hell, when you told him that his father died, you were helping him. Because he found out from you, who he loves. You’re not going to give up on him, Alex. No goddamn way. Not on my watch.”

“Hey,” John said, shoving his hands in his pockets and sauntering back to Alexander and George.

Alexander shook the swirling thoughts from his head and mustered a smile.

“Good to go?”

John nodded, so Alexander and George got their coffees and headed back to the car. Within five minutes, John had fallen asleep again. Alexander was bored, but he didn’t mind. He knew that John was probably exhausted from all the over thinking. And if sleeping was the way he wanted to cope, then Alexander would let him sleep.

It was a long drive, though John didn’t know it. He slept almost straight through the entire twelve hours. Whenever he woke up, he would squeeze Alexander’s hand, then sigh or yawn, and the calming bump of the car speeding down the highway would lull him back to sleep within minutes.

Right now, sleep was simple. Sleep was quiet. Each time John awoke, it was like the voices in his head started screaming, thoughts started swirling, and the inside of his skull transformed into a hurricane. It was as if he awoke into a nightmare, instead of the opposite. The reality was the nightmare.

So, he slept.

Alexander, however, could not sleep. He knew that his father was right, but he was absolutely filled with doubts. Not doubts about John necessarily, but self-doubts. He knew that John needed him—that wasn’t the problem. He just didn’t know how he was possible going to get through this. He felt like he was losing his mother all over again.

George tried talking to Alexander during the drive, knowing that he would overthink until he went mad, but Alexander wasn’t really in the mood to talk. He responded with short, one-word answered until George stopped trying and focused on the road.

Alexander’s thoughts consumed him so extensively that when George pulled into a hotel parking lot and stopped the car, it took him a full minute to realize that they were already in South Carolina.

“I called and made a reservation before we left,” George explained. “I’m going to go check in. Can you park the car and meet me inside?”

Before Alexander got a chance to wake John, his phone began blaring Anaconda.

Why was Hercules calling him?

“Hello?” Alexander said, confused.

“Alex!”

“Laf?”

“And Herc! Guess what?! Laf changed his flight this morning! He’s in my car right now! Guess where we’re going?”

As soon as he heard his best friends’ voices, Alexander’s worries flooded out of him and he was consumed with a warm, smiley feeling.

“Where?” he asked, strongly anticipating the answer.

“SOUTH CAROLINA!” Hercules and Lafayette sang in unison.

Alexander gasped, his heart full to bursting.

“Are you serious!? Oh, my god, John is going to be so excited! I’m so excited! Wait, I’m not going to tell him—let’s surprise him. Okay, I’ll text you the address of our hotel. How far away are you? Will you get here tonight? Oh my god I cannot wait to see you guys—”

“Alex, chill,” Herc laughed. “We literally just left my driveway; we’re going to be driving all night. My GPS says we’ll be there by about nine AM if we don’t stop and, considering Laf can’t drive for shit, I’m gonna need to stop and take a break at some point.”

“Okay, first of all, fuck you,” Lafayette interjected. Alexander’s laugh made John stir. “I can drive, Herc. I just can’t drive these idiotic left side driver cars. Like, why is this even a thing? I miss you, Alex.”

“Miss you too, Laf. Okay, I gotta go, John’s waking up. See you tomorrow!”

After Hercules and Lafayette hung up, Alexander redirected his attention to John, unable to contain his grin.

“Why are you so smiley?” John asked grumpily. “Who was on the phone?”

“It was just Herc and Laf checking in. And no reason, don't worry about it. We’re here, by the way.”

Alexander’s smile grew wider as John ripped off his sweater and jumped out of the car, breathing in the warm southern air.

“Thank god,” he sighed. “I fucking hate the cold. Did you know?”

Laughing, Alexander led John inside to meet up with George, who handed them each a room key.

Without much more than light small talk, the three of them grabbed their bags, went up the flight of stairs, flopped onto their beds, and fell asleep almost immediately.

John was pulled from his deep and peaceful sleep by a relentless slamming on the door of the hotel room. It was only ten o’clock in the morning—why would housekeeping already be this adamant about making sure they had enough towels?

“What the fuck?” John muttered. When he ripped the sheets off, Alexander’s eyes snapped open.

“Wssgoinon?” he mumbled, tapping a finger to John’s wrist.

“Someone’s trying to beat the door down.”

John pulled his shirt on and stood up, stretching his arms out in front of him. In a flash, Alexander realized who it must be and jumped up beside him. John gave him a weird look but shrugged it off, crossing the room to open the door.

“JOHN!” Lafayette screamed, throwing himself into John’s startled and unready arms.

Hercules stood in the doorway grinning, hands shoved in his pockets. Alexander smiled, giving him a quick hug before turning around to watch the antics. Lafayette had jumped onto John’s back and was ruffling his hair, absolutely squealing in excitement. He was like a puppy who hadn’t seen its owner in days.

Across the small room, George stirred, opening one eye in annoyed confusion. When he saw that the number of boys in the room had doubled, he sat up in bed and turned the lamp on.

“I wasn’t expecting this,” he remarked, eyeing Alexander. He shrugged in response, grinning.

“Neither was I,” John laughed, letting Lafayette smooch him on the cheek.

At John’s comment, George turned to Alexander and smiled. He knew that his son was trying his absolute best to listen to what he’d said yesterday.

“By the way, John, you were right,” Hercules piped up. “The weather is pretty great here.”

John’s grin widened and he hopped over to hug Hercules.

“I missed you guys,” he said into Herc’s broad chest. “What are you doing here!? How did you get here? Laf, you crossed the ocean!”

Lafayette chuckled. “You need someone other than the Angst Queen to keep you company, so I came back early.”

John beamed, everyone he loved grinning back at him in a half-circle.

“How are you, John?” Lafayette asked. His demeanour changed immediately as he wrapped an arm around his best friend and looked at him seriously.

For just a moment, he’d forgotten why they were there. He’d forgotten all the bad things. He’d forgotten that he was broken.

“Oh,” he said quietly as the memories crashed over him. So much had happened in the past few days that he staggered backwards with the flood of images circling through his head. He felt his knees buckle suddenly as Lafayette’s grip tightened, the only thing holding him up.

Lafayette led John to the edge of the bed where he took a seat, immediately surrounded on either side by Alexander and Hercules. George got up quickly, slipping on shoes and muttering something about grabbing coffee, leaving the group alone.

“John,” Hercules started. “I’m really sorry about your dad.”

John nodded, eyes tracing the pattern in the carpet. His excitement left him as quickly as it had found him. Everyone was so worried about him breaking that they couldn’t let him have a moment of happiness before getting down to business trying to put him back together again.

“I’m not,” Lafayette said quietly. Everyone looked at him. “I’m not sorry.”

Hercules raised his eyebrows desperately, silently begging Lafayette to stop talking.

“Laf—” Alexander interjected.

“No, come on, guys! You can’t be serious! John, look me in the eye and tell me you’re upset. Tell me you’re genuinely sad that you’ll never see your father again.”

John swallowed hard and looked up, finally. Alexander and Hercules looked like concerned parents, but Lafayette’s gaze was intense. Fierce.

“I—I have no idea,” John admitted weakly.

“John,” Lafayette continued, voice stronger. “Look at the scar on your knee, remember that? From when he pushed you and you sliced it open on a rock? Look at your arms, for God’s sake! I swear, there are still bruises from Thanksgiving. Look me in the fucking eye and tell me you miss him.”

John shook his head. He couldn’t find the words to respond. How could he possibly admit to that? How could he admit that he didn’t care if his father was dead? He felt like throwing up. He didn’t know what to think.

“You feel guilty because you aren’t sad, mon chéri. And know what? That’s okay. He hurt you, John. You don’t have to forgive him.”

John felt a hot tear run down his nose and watched it drip onto the carpet. Immediately, Alexander pulled him close.

“You’re right,” John whispered. “Wanna know something? My first thought when Lex told me was relief. I was relieved. How fucked up is that? How do you own up to that?”

“You’re allowed to feel like that,” Lafayette said gently. “He treated you like shit, John. He doesn’t deserve your respect, not even in death.”

Sighing, John wiped another tear from his cheek. “I still feel sad. It hurts.”

“You’re allowed to feel that, too.”

John nodded, leaning his head on his best friend’s shoulder.

His phone buzzed with a text from his brother.

James: The funeral is tomorrow at noon.

John typed a quick reply and clicked the screen off, managing a small smile.

“I hope you guys brought clothes other than sweaters,” he said quietly.

He would be damned if he wasn’t going to show off his hometown to his friends now that they were all finally in South Carolina.

He wanted to have one good day before dealing with whatever plethora of emotions his brain would throw at him during the funeral.

To his intense surprise and amazement, Hercules and Lafayette both took their sweaters off to reveal the ugliest button-down Hawaiian shirts he’d ever seen.

“We’re prepared for anything, John,” Hercules grinned over John’s peals of laughter.

Alexander smiled, but stayed silent. He was thinking. Thinking about the funeral. Thinking about how his mother never got a funeral. Thinking about what John’s father did to deserve a funeral when Alexander’s mother didn’t get one. Thinking about how excruciating the next day was going to be.

[sunflowerstationary]

Dearest darlingest Ivy,

Finally replying to this, oops.

The new tag is "you are the reason that i'm smiling when there is nothing to smile about", because that line always makes me think of you (lyrics from the Front Bottoms song "Peach") Dw about it being long, it will pop up when you start typing it :L

I haven't typed anything huge and long on tumblr in a while and I guess with the new phone, since it barely ever crashes I got cocky. I forgot this app is just generally shit and not only because my old phone didn't have enough space to run it lol RIP me.

Oh well.

I know it's ok to bomb my first driving test but like... I just... want it to be done with ;_; I really do not want to have to repeat it, if only because it will be hell on my nerves.

Guess I just need to schedule it and then practice my face off until then. SIGH.

I feel for you so much about the kitties. I felt like the worst cat mom in the fucking world not seeing him every day, and now I get to spoil him with treats and bits of my buttery spaghetti and he has a nice fluffy bed to sleep on that's right next to my head in our bed. And re: having nowhere to sit, GOD OMG I KNOW. We don't really have anything to sit on here either. Idk if you noticed when you were in here but there's like no furniture except the two couches that were left here by the last people, and no carpet in any of the rooms.

For a while I was rolling out a yoga mat and just sprawling on that in the computer room while Steve played his game, but now I mostly just grab a blanket to cushion the chair.

The not knowing who's going to be home thing sounds like the story of my life :/ I'm glad I don't have to worry about that anymore, but I'm sorry you do. I wish that you could move out and say fuck it all. Is Kevin working still?

It's nice that there's three of them. Like you said, they can keep each other company... especially Cali and Sandstorm, since they're so close. I'm a little worried that Scrap is lonely here. I mean, he gets lots of attention, but he's used to having other animals around.

Steve has mentioned a few times moving his friend Abdel in with us, and while I like Abdel, I really do not think I can live with him. I'm a lot better than I used to be but I am NOT about living with strangers. That's one of the reasons I had so much trouble deciding where to go to college back when I was planning on it, because I wanted to be as far from home as physically possible but I didn't know how to do it without having to live with some random people in a dorm or something. I like having the freedom to walk around naked, yk? Plus - and maybe this is selfish but - I already have to compete with Steve's games for attention half the time, and I'm needy, and I just. Don't want to have to deal with that.

He's not the date type of guy, he's a hermit, so we spend most of our quality alone time at home. Is it bad that I don't want to give that up?

You know, I know you're busy but Duo is pretty relaxed. You can set it so that you only have to practice once daily for five minutes if you really want to, which is probably slow but definitely manageable. I do it on the highest practice setting there is and it's still pretty relaxed, it only takes 25 mins out of my day in 5 min increments.

Ughhhhhh god, homerow giving me war flashbacks to my keyboarding class in 10th grade. Good luck.

That sounds like the way I feel about Olivia... it's bittersweet, isn't it? Like the drama is all over now and you want to make something more out of it, and rebuild and maintain a friendship like you used to have, like you feel the potential still there but it's old and probably not worth it now that you've moved on. But.

You know? I barely think of Liv most of the time but she's still there in the background.

Idk. Maybe we'll get our second chance someday.

Rayzel always struck me as a cool but distant person, yeah. I'm glad you have someone to talk to though. I know I can't always be helpful when it comes to Kevin and I feel bad about that sometimes.

Defaulting to sleep rather than self destructing is my middle name. Seriously, I just conked out for two hours because I was feeling angsty about work and feeling like a failure because I haven't been as productive as I wanted to be this week.

Ffffff, why do they always do that to you? Wait to give you hours until you're back in school full time. The fuck.

Scrappy used to piss on everything, if you remember. He hasn't in years though. Since we fixed him I think. Is it normal for diabetic cats to do that? Or maybe it's because you've got a small herd... Trouble used to pee in my room for seemingly no reason and I always suspected it was a territorial thing.

I don't know how to advise you on the Kevin-monogamy situation, really... I don't know if there's necessarily a good way of going about it. It's very murky. Do you think that you'll marry him? I definitely know what it's like to be super codependent, and I know that's not necessarily a horrible thing... Idk. I mean Elizabeth really didn't like the nonmonogamy thing either, I guess the difference was that since she lived far away she didn't feel like she could tell me no, but if she had lived here I think she would have been more up front about that from the get-go. We never really resolved it. I fall for most people I get close to too, but I guess after everything with Nic and Chris and all that shit, I've just been.. totally exhausted. Like, I've pretty much accepted that I have a limited number of slots in my life in terms of people I can be close to and love properly, and between you and Steve and Elizabeth I'm probably near capacity.

I want you to have the options I did, but I dunno how to make that happen for you. It sounds like the conversation has just gotten tiring for both of you.

If you want to get high, I have weed. Lol. I don't know if I could get more but I definitely have enough to smoke you up and maybe me. The only thing is we'll have to do joints, because I don't have a pipe, but I have rolling papers and determination.

I used to be really uncomfrtable with high people too but I definitely have calmed down since I actually experienced it.

Not that I'm any better, but you shouldn't have to be like... conveniently accessible for people to enjoy your company. You deserve more than that. Don't your coworkers ever ask you about your life??? Maybe physical correspondence would help, yeah. It's a lot easier to be free with your thoughts when you're just writing them all down, although sometimes it's hard to send them afterward.

You're gonna have to remind me again to look up Kate Bush because I'm never going to remember. Sounds vaguely familiar though.

Team projects still give me nightmares and I don't think I've done one in four years D: Ugh, god. More reasons for me to procrastinate on College Stuff.

Did you end up under sharing or over sharing? I feel ur pain.

Man, between you and Elizabeth I'm so damn jealous, you're both taking the best classes... she was just telling me last night that her class was talking about the societal compulsory gendering of children.

Elaborate on "finger thingies".

Abnormal psych sounds like a phenomenal class and I'm double jealous now. Not of all your projects though. The way you describe that teacher reminds me of my English teacher in 9th grade, I can't remember her name but we used to call her Skeletor. Fourteen year olds are mean, in hindsight... she was a really nice lady. A little nervous.

I suppose Ed isn't the worst man in the world, but they don't all have to be raging dickwads like my father to be worth tossing out... I just hope your mom doesn't adjust to the wrong things about him, you know? It's one thing to get used to someone's annoying habits and another entirely to get used to being controlled bit by bit.

My dad is mad at me and I know because he hasn't texted me to coerce me into getting dinner in months. Lol. I think it's because I ditched him for a graduation party I said I'd go to, or maybe my brother has a big mouth and said something about me not wanting to hang out with him (or, also possible, my grandma has a big mouth and she told him that me and Steve aren't super impressed with him as a person... last time I visited her she was telling us about how my dad used to put a picture of my moms face on his punching bag, and we were both like "wow he's a dick" which she for some reason didn't seem to agree with. idk man.)

The cat tree thing sounds really great but I dunno if I feel okay letting you do all that for me for nothing... I would probably want to pay you guys, which might defeat the purpose. Free carpet tho that's so excellent???

TJ seems mostly ok at work. Not that how anyone acts at work is necessarily a good measure of how they're holding up emotionally.

Tell me all about the bondage, omg. I've always wanted to get into it but Elizabeth and I broke up just as we were starting to poke around it.

I'm really sorry about Steve. He's really out of line and I honestly still don't understand why, I've tried to talk to him about it a few times but either he acts like he doesn't mind you or he gets annoyed and doesn't want to talk about it. I dunno if it's a jealousy thing or what. He sometimes acts the same way about Elizabeth, so I'm leaning towards yes. I find myself in a similar situation to you where I don't know if I should keep pushing it or not, like I don't know what I should be tolerating... and sometimes I almost wish that he would tell me not to sleep with other people, because as nice as it is that he's always told me that he wants me to do what makes me happy, I wish he was a bit more jealous. Not in a horrible way, just, like. Idk. I'm committed to being with Just Him right now and I wish he was. I want him to be a tiny bit possessive just as like, reassurance that he wants me and just me, you know?

But I digress. He shouldn't have said that to you. You were just trying to be a good friend to me and protect me. Idk what the fuck is wrong with him sometimes.

It's not your fault, I'm also terrible at communication, especially this past year or two. Things have just fallen apart so much. I think I'm starting to get back on my feet though (fingers crossed). We'll see how it goes. Coming up on my attempt anniversary again and I hope it doesn't make me freak out like t did last year.

I'll post the link separately, I'm afraid to leave the app for two seconds to find it while I'm typing this :')

I love you too! I hope this wasn't a lackluster reply, but it's almost 5am and I need to be up very soon unfortunately, so I'm going to take a nap and hope for the best.

~Tonio