#if you don't like the stuff I make and don't wanna see it? literally just block me. I promise It's completely fine👌

[e-therealife]

gf!nat headcanons

type of person to show up at your house without calling first. she figures if you're not there, she's interested as to why and is now gonna wait until you are. probably inside your room within thirty seconds flat. second story? doesn't matter. idk man she's finding a way to scale walls.

probably also jumps out to scare you when you come back.

if you have work or some obligation that you don't wanna go to, she's suddenly trying out everything possible to keep you home/get you to go out with her.

"look, we can totally fake a funeral obituary. someone'll cover your shift for that. now sit down. we've gotta figure out how i tragically died." “you're telling me [literally any food you love] doesn't sound good right now? i'll buy.” doesn't even matter if she hates the food because she just needs to keep you focused on her and doesn't want you to be stressed out about 'stupid stuff.'

rummages through your closet when she's over and tries on your clothes like it's a fashion show. definitely imitates you when she does it.

"no, you totally sound like that. i'd know."

she's sleeping in her makeup all the time. also in her clothes from the day. when you guys start spending nights together, you're wiping her makeup off for her and helping her change. soon, you swear she's wearing makeup and uncomfortable clothes more often just so you'll help her (she is), but she'd never admit to it.

not the best with physical affection, so she's always trying to get you to get sleepy first so you're cuddling up to her or so she can cuddle up to you once you fall asleep.

when you wake up in the morning, she's usually already awake, likely out buying you some really greasy or sweet breakfast. if she's still sleeping when you wake up, she will die on the hill that you were the one who was being all cuddly (despite her being literally on top of you).

tries to show you soccer tricks then fucking trips over her feet and falls on her face.

"watch this," ends up being the funniest phrase you hear from her. she's not even giving up after one attempt, especially if she's not sober.

"you didn't see that."  "what are you talking about?"  "you clearly don't even know how it's supposed to look."

late to/skips class a lot, but if you let her know you're gonna be absent and need notes, she'll be there the entire time, taking everything down so attentively. she's shushing whoever tries to talk to her. 

willing to slip into classes she's not even in. jotting down everything because she doesn't know wtf is going on.

you're potentially banned from soccer games by the team because nat gets too nervous and messes up in front of you.

alright i don't smoke but i read this thing about shotgunning and oh my GOD??? YES she's doing that if you smoke. where are fics with this because hello?

probably tries to keep you away from drinking or smoking if you haven't started yet, though.

would looove roadtrips. also so a one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh person.

loves seeing you without makeup, especially if you wear it a lot. absolutely encourages you to do whatever makes you happy and loves seeing you express yourself, but she finds little moments where you're sleeping or something all barefaced so soft. she needs you to know you can be comfortable around her.

however, if you are wearing makeup, she loves those lipstick marks a kiss can leave. or if your makeup gets messy (somehow…).

modern au

she's the type of person to send like stupid cat tiktoks and be like "this is u." also says the same thing with the most ridiculous videos of people doing stupid shit.

she's ragequitting video games left and right. if you're playing together and she dies over something stupid (ESPECIALLY if she's killed by an annoying kid or something) you just hear her mic go silent as she mutes it and curses for a minute.

if someone's fighting with her in chat she's forgotten about the game entirely and you can hear her speedtyping angrily.

if you're there in person while she's playing (which she's only doing this if you actively wanna watch. she'd never ignore you to play a game.), you get to see her start swearing at her screen (her accent def comes out for this.).

"are you fuckin' fucking with me? how is this not patched?"  "did i seriously pay for this shit?" "and he's not banned? i can't call someone a prick, and he's not banned?"  "he's hacking. i know it." “aimbot.”

also if someone's making fun of you on a game (even if you suck) she's forgetting about winning and just screwing with them the entire time instead. will sacrifice getting reported for throwing to avenge you.

definitely knows like all internet jokes so she's practically speaking in another language sometimes.

SHARING HEADPHONES and she's only using wired. rejects bluetooth. embraces it when her wires get caught on everything.

author's note: alright friends. this is my first tumblr post ever. let me know if you liked it, and feel free to chat with me! i'm pretty new to tumblr lol so i really don't know what i'm doing. i've got more stuff i'm working on right now and i'm done with finals in a week sooo stay tuned for more posts!

[for-your-modesty-dude]

Valentine pt. 3

Part 1 … Part 2

A/N: Y'all I am so freaking sorry it's been so long. I literally showed up, started writing fics, and then disappeared forever. I'm not gonna lie, life has been absolutely insane recently. There's been so much going on, and my family is dealing with some stuff that is way far out of our control. Am I panicking? Maybe. Am I also fine? Yes. I don't know how it works. I'm sure my therapist plays a part in that LOL. Anyway, here it is. Part 3 of Valentine. I'm not going to lie to you, it really did not turn out nearly as good as I'd hoped. But I really really wanted to finish this so I could maybe get back into writing again. I need to fall in love with my hobbies again. I hope it's not too crappy. Please send in requests or fic suggestions. Maybe one of them will inspire me. I love you all forever! - Hy <3

Summary: Eddie finally makes his move!

Warnings: None that I can think of. Maybe some gross fluff, and like... subpar writing.

Word Count: 2k

Gareth and Jeff gave him the best advice they could. They tried, really. But they were hardly the romantic type, so Eddie took some of their advice- but the rest he let fly out the other ear. He eventually grabbed his backpack and ran out to his van, driving home as quickly as he could without getting himself another traffic ticket. 

He ran inside and threw his backpack onto the couch and kicked his boots off before sliding in his socks to his phone, picking it up and dialing your number. 

“Hello?” You picked up with a yawn, and Eddie wondered if he’d woken you up. 

“Heeey, sweetheart,” he said softly. “Did I wake you?”

“God no,” you tell him. “I was rereading the same page of this book for the fourth time. Can’t keep my focus, ‘m just bored. How was D&D? You’re home so early. Wait… Did you kill them?” You ask with a breathy laugh, imagining the night ending with Eddie decimating the party. 

“It was good! And- nah. The guys were restless, had places to be,” he lied, and there was a pause of comfortable silence. “But honestly, it was alright. Not the same without you there, don’t worry,” he smiled to himself. His kindness made your cheeks go pink. 

“Oh, please,” you scoffed with amusement evident in your voice. “Like you don’t love not having me around to bother your boys’ club,” you mostly joked. Eddie did not find it funny. 

“What? Don’t say that. We love having you around. You know that,” he said seriously. The seriousness of his tone made you smile. 

“Okay, okay, Ed. Thank you,” you tell him softly. “Gimme the rundown, then.”

He started to tell you all about how far they got in the campaign, having to make some stuff up to not give away how little they’d actually played. You seemed satisfied, and you believed him. “So… any fun plans tomorrow?” He asked. 

“Nah. Commiserating. Wanna join?” 

“I can come over?” He asked, hopeful. 

“Course you can. I’ll make room on the couch. I’ll even push aside the stale bag of chips for you to sit down next to me,” you joked. The two of you kept sharing jokes and silly comments until you got too sleepy to go on, so you hung up and headed to bed. 

The next morning, Eddie got up - way earlier than the Munson boy ever woke up on a Saturday - but he had so much to do. He first packed a duffel - necessary for his date, later - and then freshened up as much as he could. 

When he was finally ready, he dialed your number and chewed on his lip as he waited for you to pick up. 

“Mornin’,” you greeted, sleepy but awake. 

“Hey sweets, it’s me,” Eddie said, full of nervous energy. “We never decided on a time last night. Do you wanna hang now, or…?” He twirled the phone cable around his finger and back the other way. 

“Oh, that’s right. Honestly, now’s totally fine. I’m just finishing my coffee now. Wanna stop at the Family Video for us? I’ll pay you back when you get here.” You offered him. 

“I’ll stop by there, yeah. And no need, keep your cash, doll. I’ll see you soon, then!” He hung up before you could even respond, leaving you to laugh to yourself. He was so easily distracted. 

It gave you just enough time to prepare for his arrival - you changed into nicer sweats and actually styled your hair a little, fighting the urge to put on some makeup. This was just Eddie. You knew you wouldn’t make him fall in love with you with some mascara, not after he’d seen you at your worst so many times before. You just needed to accept that he was always going to remain a wonderful friend and nothing more. 

When Eddie showed up, he looked nicer than he usually did for movie dates at your place, but you didn’t think anything of it. You would just secretly admire him from across the room. Better him here with you than out with another girl, you supposed. 

The day started off normally enough. You had some snacks and watched a couple of movies, but Eddie seemed to keep checking his watch. Something about it was weird, because he didn’t seem in a rush to leave, but almost like he was expecting someone. It got to be too much when he checked his watch for the third time in less than 5 minutes, so you kicked him lightly with a socked foot from your side of the couch. 

“Why do you keep checking the clock, you weirdo? Did you invite someone to my house?” You ask with your nose slightly scrunched in displeasure. 

“What?” He blinked, “no- no. I wouldn’t- no. Uhh… you probably wanna go get ready, sweetheart,” he let his head fall back against the couch cushion lazily, making your brows furrow. 

“Get ready? For what?” You sat up, eyes searching his face which was- unfortunately unreadable. Damn DM instincts. 

“Do you trust me?” He turned his head to look at you, and something about his gaze in that moment made you blush, and you nodded. “Then go get ready. Wear somethin’ nice. I’m going to make use of the bathroom here. Let me know if you need any help,” he pushed himself up off of the couch and grabbed the duffel bag he’d packed himself, and disappeared into the bathroom, leaving you to stare at him with a bewildered look. It took you a moment to shake off the surprise, but you managed to, and dragged yourself up the stairs to shower and get ready. You styled your hair in your usual favorite going-out style, not knowing just how dolled up you were supposed to get but figuring more was always better. You’d rather be overdressed than underdressed. 

And of course, because Eddie would see you in this outfit, you couldn’t help but to choose a dress you’d been secretly saving for just this kind of occasion. It fit like a glove, but you’d never actually gotten the opportunity to wear it out before. Wearing it now felt foreign, but looking at yourself in the mirror helped your self-image considerably. This dress looked good on you, and you hoped he’d think the same. 

You exited your bedroom to find Eddie’s duffel bag on your couch, and his ratty sneakers by your door, but… no Eddie. The bathroom door was open, showing it was empty, so you searched the kitchen before peeking through the blinds to the parking lot. You didn’t see Eddie’s van, but he’d left his things, so… he was probably coming back, right? You paced a bit in your heels, chewing on your lip as you considered all of the possibilities. 

Before you could decide to change out of your nice outfit, you heard a knock at the door, and hurried to answer it, finding Eddie standing there with a bouquet of black peonies and deep red tulips. Your eyes widened in surprise, and you blinked up at him, realizing he looked incredibly put together and handsome. You wanted to ask what he was doing, but as the blush reached your cheeks, you simply floundered for the words to say, and you stood there in an awkward sort of silence. 

“I uh- these are for you,” he cleared his throat and told you, wiping a clammy hand on his black jeans. You took another moment to flounder before taking the flowers and staring down at them. You eventually found your voice. 

“Oh. Thank- thank you,” you managed quietly, “what are these for?”

He ran a nervous hand through his hair and took a deep breath before exhaling slowly. It was now or never.. “Uh- well- see- you mentioned how upset you were to never have anyone interested in you, but… it’s just not true, you know? Cause I have been interested in you probably since we met, and you never seemed interested back. But I figure, even if you’re not into me, I can show you a good time and prove to you that it’s not true, and someone really does like you, like a lot. If- if you’ll be my valentine, that is. I spent so long hoping you’d just magically realize that I liked you, because the idea of actually telling you- almost killed me. I was terrified. You’re my best friend, my partner in crime, the person who knows me the best, and the one girl in the whole world who ever saw past my weird and gave me a chance to be her friend. This might be totally insane, but I just want you to know how- loved you are. By me. Romantically.” He felt he was digging himself into a hole, so he added an awkward “okay… I’m talking done now.”

You stared at him for a long while in stunned silence, and he looked anywhere but your eyes, growing increasingly restless as your silence swallowed him whole. He almost backed out and said it wasn’t actually that insane, he didn’t love you, don’t worry, but before he could, you threw your arms around him in a tight hug, wordless. He returned it with enthusiasm, squeezing you tight and burying his nose in your hair. He held you until he heard your quiet “thank you.” Only then did he pull back to look at you, your eyes a bit misty. 

“Hey, no way, don’t thank me. I’m the one who’s been in love with you, remember?” He joked, “if anything, thank you for letting me take you out and live out my dream for one night.” 

You could tell he was being self-deprecating, and couldn’t bear it. You pulled him inside, placed the bouquet on the nearest surface, and grabbed the front of his shirt to pull him down for a sudden kiss. He fumbled a moment, hands up in shock, before gripping your hips and pulling you into him, eyes squeezing shut as he deepened the kiss. If this was a dream, he wasn’t going to waste it. He was going to enjoy every goddamn second. 

Eventually, you pulled back with a breathless giggle at the way he chased your lips. “Let me breathe, Edward,” your voice was light, airy, and full of laughter. His eyes opened to watch you with the dreamiest expression. 

“Pinch me. I must be dreaming,” he said simply, making you laugh more. You pushed him away, cheeks red, still giggling. 

“Shut up. I- yes. Of course I’ll be your valentine. But where are we even going?” You asked him, picking up the bouquet to go put it in a vase. He still hadn’t shaken out of his trance, so he stared after you in silence a moment before coming to his senses again.

“Oh- uh- that’s a surprise. But you- damn- dressed for the occasion. So not to worry, it’ll be great.” He promised, following you into the kitchen and reaching up to grab the vase you liked from the higher shelf. You thanked him and unwrapped the bouquet, filling the vase before placing it into the water and placing the arrangement on your kitchen table. 

“I’ve been totally obsessed with you since, like, the day we met,” you confessed, which had his eyes nearly bulging. 

“No way. You- no way. You’re like, way out of my league.” That made you laugh, and you pulled him down for a kiss again. 

“Shut up, Eddie. And take me on our first date,” you hummed against his lips. 

“Yes ma’am,” he agreed breathlessly, pulling you flush against him. 

“And by the way, Eddie…” You started at a whisper. 

“Yeah?” He matched your tone.

“I didn’t ‘see past’ your weird. I saw your weird. And I needed it in my life.”

He nearly melted at your feet just then, but pushed forward to kiss you again, to keep from saying something stupid or embarrassing himself with getting emotional.

“I love you,” he told you. “I really, seriously, love you.”

“I- Eddie, I love you too,” you told him in return, butterflies erupting in your stomach and heart racing out of your chest before kissing him again.

You would definitely be a minute or two late to that reservation, but damn, if it wasn’t worth it.

Taglist: @am0iur @ali-r3n @hellmastereddie @ziggeddie @nojamsonmytoast @seedlingghost @loveu2themoonandsaturn @aliceheart247 @littlemissholy @daydreampending @justalotoffanfiction @midnightdragonzero @iyskgd @girlwedontcare

[sugardollcurse]

hi girlie! i love your writing and i wanted to know if you could write some headcanons for the beatles having cute pillow/tickle fights with their partner?

they’re just so cheeky and playful i can totally see them doing adorable stuff like that <3

𝒑𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒐𝒘/𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒌𝒍𝒆 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕�� 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎

꒰ pairing ꒱ paul mccartney x reader, john lennon x reader, george harrison x reader, ringo starr x reader

꒰ note ꒱ hi love!! omg this is the cutest request.. absolutely... HOPE YOU LIKE!!

꒰ JOHN ꒱

“Oh, you wanna start somethin’? You sure, sweetheart? 'Cause I don't play fair.”

Don't be fooled by the quote. He usually starts it, obviously.

Throws a pillow at you while you’re reading or lying down, pretending it “fell off the couch.”

You call him out. He grins. “Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

He absolutely tickles first without warning.

Like grabs your knee out of nowhere and laughs when you jolt and nearly fall off the bed.

If you fight back (and you do), he’ll act betrayed.

“How dare you. I’m delicate.”

Has this maniacal, delighted cackle when you get him in a bad spot, like if you manage to get under his arms or sides.

“You little-!” squealing but like, lennon-style: gruff and annoyed but also genuinely losing it.

It turns into a wrestle.

Every time.

He pins you and you squirm and he’s laughing through his teeth but trying to stay composed.

Afterward, he’ll lay dramatically on the floor like he’s been “mortally wounded” and reach for you. “Kiss me farewell, I’m not long for this world.”

Lives for these moments, because you make him laugh without needing to say anything clever.

꒰ PAUL ꒱

“C’mon, love, no fair hittin’ me when m’back’s turned!���

Paul’s the most playful out of the four.

Pillow fights happen everywhere. The bed. The tour bus. Hotel rooms.

Will literally start a tickle war just to make you laugh. “You’ve got the cutest laugh, y’know that?”

He’s a sucker for when you get serious, grabbing a pillow, narrowing your eyes, all that.

You’ll be mid-fight and he’ll suddenly scoop you up like you weigh nothing and just drop you onto the bed while giggling uncontrollably.

He is ticklish.

Very.

Under his ribs and around his neck. If you find out, he’s doomed.

“No no no-no! I’m serious, that’s ILLEGAL!”

Tries to pretend he’s got the upper hand but loses instantly when you surprise him.

Loves the aftermath just as much, messy hair, both of you breathless and curled up in a pile of pillows.

Will 100% nuzzle you and go, “Let’s call it a truce... until tomorrow, anyway.”

Sometimes he makes the excuse that it’s “exercise,” then uses it as a reason to tackle you again five minutes later.

꒰ GEORGE ꒱

“I’m not doin’ anything. You’re the one flailin’ round like a goose.”

George doesn’t start the pillow fight.

He plots it.

You tease him earlier in the day, make a snide little comment, and then it comes back to haunt you at 10p.m.

One look in his eyes and you know: oh no.

Smacks you with a pillow once and runs. It’s on.

He’s sneaky, hides behind furniture, pops up and goes “Boo!” with a flying pillow.

When it escalates to tickling, he gets this wicked grin.

He knows exactly where to go to make you yelp.

You get him back and he lets out this startled squawk.

Tries to be smooth about it but ends up giggling like a schoolboy when you chase him around the room.

Gets this low, breathless laugh when he’s actually tickled, it’s very real.

George is the type to instigate under the guise of complete innocence.

You’ll walk past him and he’ll just bap the back of your leg with a pillow and keep strumming his guitar like nothing happened.

“What? That wasn’t me. Must’ve been the wind.”

He’s a pinner. Uses his longer limbs to trap you in place.

꒰ RINGO ꒱

“You hit me in the eye! That’s assault! I’m callin’ the coppers.”

He won’t start the pillow fight, but the second you bop him with a pillow?

“Oh, that’s it. I was bein’ nice.”

Throws one back, then laughs like a little kid when it hits your head and you freeze in mock betrayal.

He screeches if you tickle him. It’s not subtle.

Not particularly fast, so he tries to distract you with jokes and accents.

“Oh no, m’lord, spare me the indignity-!”

You end up collapsing on top of him and he just holds you there, arms around your back, chuckling into your shoulder.

He starts tickle fights more than anyone, especially if you’re trying to be serious. He’ll wiggle his fingers and go, “Are you mad? You look mad. Let’s fix that.”

You’ll be halfway through folding laundry when he pounces. Or in the middle of brushing your teeth. Nowhere is safe.

He laughs so much it becomes contagious.

He loses all pillow fights. Will loudly accuse you of cheating every time.

Ends with him laying across your lap, still breathless, grinning up at you. “Next time I’m bringing reinforcements.”

He never does.

taglist: @sharksausages, @wavvytin, @wimpyvamps, @finallyforgotten, @lennongirlieee, @silly-lil-lee

[howlingday]

Based on a discussion I've shared with @misterlazer, here's Ozpin as Dr. Jonathan Crane, AKA Scarecrow

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: It is in my opinion that Mr. Callows is as much a danger to himself as he is to others, and I believe that prison is the least suitable environment for his rehabilitation.

Tyrian: (Grins)

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: Headmaster Ozpin?

Ozpin: Ah, Miss Schnee...

Weiss: Do you really think a man who butchers people for criminal organizations doesn't belong in prison?

Ozpin: Well, I'll hardly testify to the contrary now, Miss Schnee.

Weiss: This is the third of Roman Torchwick's goons you've had declared clinically insane and moved into your asylum.

Ozpin: Yes, well, unfortunately, work within organized crime must act as a sort of draw for the insane. (Continues)

Weiss: ...Or the corrupt.

Ozpin: ...Mr. Belladonna.

Ghira: Hm?

Ozpin: I believe you should have a word with Miss Schnee about exactly what implications your legal office is permitted to make... if any. (Exits)

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: No more favors, Mr. Torchwick. Someone is getting too close.

Roman: We had a deal, Ozzy. You scratch my back, I scratch yours. We're the ones bringing in the shipments!

Ozpin: The shipments I'm paying you for.

Roman: Have you considered how much I value favors more than lien?

Ozpin: Yes, yes, you're very intimidating, Mr. Torchwick. But you are not as intimidating as the woman you know I'm working for. And when she arrives-

Roman: Wait... She's coming to Vale?

Ozpin: Indeed she is. And when she arrives, she's not going to be happy to hear how you're endangering her operations just to get some small-time thugs out of well-earned jail time.

Roman: ...Who's bothering you?

Ozpin: There's a girl at the DA's office.

Roman: So I'll buy her off.

Ozpin: Not this one.

Roman: Oh... Great... An idealist... Well, there's a fix for that, too.

Ozpin: I don't need to know.

Roman: Yeah. You do.

Ozpin: ...

--------------------------------------------------

Goodwitch: Good evening, Headmaster. Thank you for arriving on such short notice.

Ozpin: This is my academy, Glynda. Why wouldn't I be concerned about Mr. Torchwick's attempted suicide?

Goodwitch: He might be attempting an insanity plea, sir. But if this isn't a one-time event-

Ozpin: Of course. Better safe than sorry. (Enters)

Roman: (Lazily) Yeah, Mr. Headmaster. I can't take this anymore. It's all too much. The walls are closing in. Blah, blah, blah. Ugh... Another day of this slop you call food, and I really will crack!

Ozpin: What do you want?

Roman: I wanna know how you plan to keep my mouth shut.

Ozpin: About what? You don't know anything.

Roman: I know you don't want the cops to take a closer look at those chemicals they've got. And I know you've also got a few lab animals locked up here in Beacon, too. Some more literal than others. See, I've got a habit of looking into people when I do business with them. And those thugs you've been using? I own the muscle in this city. Now, I've been bringing your stuff in for months, so I know whatever she's planning, it's big. And I want in.

Ozpin: ...Unfortunately, I already know what she'll say, and the answer is no. Moreso than that, she'll say that we should kill you.

Roman: Pfft! Yeah. Right. Even she can't get me in here. Not in my town.

Ozpin: ...

Ozpin: Would you like to see my mask? (Opens case) I use it in my demonstrations. (Twists valve) I'm more than aware that I'm not normally terrifying to a man such as yourself. But my subjects? Oh, they can't stand it~! (Dons mask)

Roman: ...Who left the boob in charge of the boob hatch?!

Ozpin: (Click!)

Roman: (Sprayed by gas, Screaming)

Ozpin: (Twisted and horrifying to look at) THEY SCREAM... AND THEY CRY... JUST LIKE YOU'RE DOING NOW~...

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: (Shuts door) Well... He's definitely not faking it, Professor Goodwitch. I'll speak to the council and see about having him transferred to the psychiatric wing of Beacon. We certainly can't treat him like a criminal here, now can we? (Exits)

Goodwitch: (Looks to door)

Roman: (Muffled screaming and crying)

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: (Walks in, Looks around) Someone's been here. Erase everything.

Thug: Let's torch the whole place.

Goon: Alright...

Ozpin: (Notices open window, Exits)

Thug: (Douses gasoline everywhere)

Goon: (In the bathroom, Taking a leak)

The Huntsman: (Drops down onto goon)

Thug: Huh?! (Holds up fire dust)

The Huntsman: (Takes away fire dust, Launches it away, Knocks down thug)

Ozpin: (Masked) BOO! (Sprays gas)

The Huntsman: (Swats spary, Inhales)

Ozpin: WHAT'S THE MATTER? HAVING TROUBLE...? (Rabbit crawls out of his skin)

The Huntsman: (Stumbles over)

Ozpin: TAKE A SEAT... (Tosses alcohol) HAVE A DRINK~! YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN WHO TAKES HIMSELF TOO SERIOUSLY...

The Huntsman: (Swarmed by rabbits, Struggling not to scream)

Ozpin: (Holding fire dust) GOT A FEVER? BECAUSE YOU'RE BURNING UP~. (Tosses dust)

The Huntsman: (On fire, Jumps out window)

--------------------------------------------------

Weiss: ...Headmaster Ozpin.

Ozpin: Miss Schnee. I wasn't expecting you, but then again I don't have anything more to say that hasn't already been explained to the council.

Weiss: I still have questions about your report.

Ozpin: Those being?

Weiss: You don't think it's convenient that a man 45 years of age with no prior mental health concerns suddenly has a full psychotic breakdown just days before his indictment?

Ozpin: Well, as you can see for yourself, Miss Schnee, there's nothing convenient about Mr. Torchwick's symptoms.

Weiss: (Looks to Roman)

Roman: (Eyes wide with fear, Shaking) The... The Flood... The Flood...

Weiss: What's "The Flood"?

Ozpin: The patient is suffering from a delusional episode, and sometimes they focus their paranoia on an external tormentor they believe exists. In this case, in the form of Junger Archtype of The Flood.

Weiss: Is he drugged?

Ozpin: Psychopharmacology is my field of expertise, Miss Schnee, and one I take great pride in.

The Huntsman: (Listening in)

Ozpin: Outside, Roman Torchwick was a monster. But in here, the only monster is what we make of ourselves.

Weiss: Do you enjoy making monsters yourselves, Headmaster?

Ozpin: I respect the analysis conducted in observing the mind shifting from one state to another. It's why I do what I do.

Weiss: And I do what I do to keep criminals like Torchwick behind bars, not in therapy. (Walks away) I'm going to request my own psychiatric consultant with full access to Roman Torchwick, including bloodwork. I know exactly what you're doing to him.

Ozpin: Very well. I will see them tomorrow then.

Weiss: TONIGHT. (Enters elevator) I've already contact Dr. Polendina at Atlas Academy. He'll be here in a few hours.

Ozpin: Very well, (Enters with her, Turns key) if that is what you wish.

Weiss: (Elevator opens)

Ozpin: (Exits) This way, please... I think you'll find this most interesting.

Weiss: (Follows)

Ozpin: (Opens doors, Reveals chemical lab) This... is where we make the magic~.

Weiss: (Watches cauldron poured into pipe)

Ozpin: My wife's recipe~. Cures what ails you~.

Weiss: (Runs away, Gets into elevator)

Ozpin: (Inhales, Walks to elevator)

Weiss: (Mashing useless buttons)

Ozpin: (Wearing mask, Sprays Weiss)

Weiss: (Gasping, Coughing, Screams)

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: (Watches as Weiss is set on table)

Weiss: (Trying not to look at him)

Ozpin: WHO KNOWS YOU'RE HERE...? (Rotten flesh falls away) WHO KNOW?!

Weiss: (Screams)

Ozpin: (Light goes out, Takes off mask, Smiling) He's here~.

Thug: Who?!

Ozpin: The Huntsman~.

Goon: What do we do?!

Ozpin: What anyone does when a predator is on the hunt... Call a hunter.

Punk: You want hunters here?

Ozpin: At this point, it doesn't matter what they do. We're already too far along now. Even though THE HUNTSMAN is a fond of disruption. When the hunters arrive, they'll shoot him on sight~.

Goon: What about her?

Weiss: (Lolling her head)

Ozpin: She doesn't have long. I gave her enough fear to kill a man ten times her size. Now go!

Mook: (Watches Goon, Punk, and Thug run) The things they say about him... Can he really fly?

Hench: I heard he can disappear!

Ozpin: Well... (Steps away) We're going to find out~. (Hides as violence happens, Jumps)

The Huntsman: (Catches arm, Bends it away, Tears off mask) Think you deserve a taste of your own medicine, Headmaster. (Sprays)

Ozpin: (Coughs, Wheezes)

The Huntsman: What have you been doing here?

Ozpin: (Shivers)

The Huntsman: (Looks like Grimm) OZ... WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR...?

Ozpin: (Shudders) Salem... The Grimm Queen...

The Huntsman: SALEM IS DEAD. WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR...? (Squeezes) OZ...

Ozpin: (Smiles) I'm sorry... The headmaster isn't available at the moment... But I'm sure if you make an appointment-

The Huntsman: (Tosses him aside, Leaves)

--------------------------------------------------

Ozpin: (Holding mask)

Pyrrha: What was your plan, Ozpin? How were you going to get your chemicals into the air?

Ozpin: The Flood... The Flood...

Pyrrha: Who are you working for, Ozpin?

Ozpin: ...Oh, it's too late. You can't stop her now...

Pyrrha: (Takes mask, Tosses to guard, Leaves)

Ozpin: ...

Ozpin: (Mask tossed to him, Looks up)

Neptune: (Grins) You're needed, Headmaster.

Ozpin: (Smiles)

[keferon]

hey can you tag jazzprowl? love your art and creative au ideas but its a major notp for me :(

The filtering option was invented a while ago. Please use it instead of treating me like a browser with customizable interface😗❤

[soggy-fishsticks]

guys ive been drawing so much lately I've been starting to actually hate it 🙁

[rapidhighway]

Hnngg

[adore-gregor]

.

[violentlydefending]

genuinely always so shocked to see mirei hate. like literally god forbid women do anything.

[charcoalstardust]

second(?) nonart/nonwriting post i've put in the outlast tag but i literally do not enter fandom spaces very often because bad experiences gave me extremely overwhelming anxiety which means i have no idea when a fandom's like... okay or not and not knowing freaks me tf out so—

what's the usual reaction to canon divergent aus? good? bad? is the outlast fandom nice on ao3? genuinely want to know.

ig if you're curious on details uhh... here it's abt outlast au stuff:

i can safely say i have a solid outlast au now and while there's def bits in it that are different it's the outlast 2 part that is like. the most canon-divergent. that and the murkoff account epilogue events would be different—

no antichrist stuff. idk i just didn't like it man 🤷🏾

different prophecy shit that's blood + bloodline-centric so it doesn't change A LOT of shit as far as i've worked on it??

still involves blake & lynn and everyone wants to kill them it's just for different reasons

lynn also runs around temple gate

lynn also lives

lynn & miles are siblings

walrider + miles presence

can the walrider for sure shapeshift bc walrider shapeshifting into a bunch of fucking ants sounds so much funnier than walrider possessed ants. imagine it for me.

radio tower foundations are found completely crumbled and a main power generator is destroyed. a few of murkoff's men + miriam (an oc) go investigate an hour before pauline arrives at the chapel and they find miles unconscious nearby and bring him down

basically he, lynn, and blake all get sent to elrich and get stuck there for a fairly long time. at least a month or two

only reason they even get medical attention at elrich is so they don't suddenly have any complications that render them useless too early and also they need miles alive bc he's the host of the walrider (and exactly what murkoff wanted when they funded the project) AND besides they're all equal leverage bc they're family

waylon, through a few extra hands of other people trying to stop murkoff, discovers where these three are and w/ a friend of miles + the langermann's & lisa, they go to elrich to fuck up the security footage and save them

[softwaluigi]

why is there just one guy who gets to keep all the memories over here. like can I have some of those

[spocksbedsidemanner]

.

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

Now for the final round!

@hellsitegenetics

I love them

I didn't know I needed to know that the weed-smoking girlfriends post was genetically a wolf, but I did, and I do. Also puts great stuff on my dash.

it’s so fun to be scrolling unhinged posts and then boom. an organism!

so many moths‼ also, unexpected comedy with some of the matches

perfect blend of silly and informative, and makes for an excellent punchline at the end of a long post. puts creatures on my dash. literally what more could you ask for

It's a really unique blog concept and a lot of times the results are pretty funny. It's great when the sequence matches the post content too!

Creatures 👍

Finds beautiful creatures out of the mess of the hellsite

Offers finality AND gives us a creechur.

I love them. English speakers talk like moths

If this blog wins, they could run the text of the winning announcement, and determine the post's genus and species!

They're also very good about tagging the type of creature depicted in the results, so as long as you mute tags of creatures you don't want to see, it's a very fun time seeing iconic legacy posts (and new submissions) being reduced down to a string of letters and assigned a random species of fish or moth or something!

uhh it’s cool

BLAST

There are so many weird bugs in the world

Yippee!!

If, as Haldane said, God has an inordinate fondness for beetles, then surely this blog proves that Tumblr has an inordinate fondness for moths.

Top tier blog as a geneticist, I love seeing obscure organisms and MOTH

Admin got rate limited after trying to blast the bee movie

the knowledge of biology to pull this off (i have taken one biology class in my life) and also the work to find all the strings honestly deserves quite a bit of praise

This gimmick blog has it all: science, pictures of animals, interaction with the text of other peoples' posts, interesting information, and a unique and fun premise. As a biologist, I'm rooting for hellsitegenetics to reach the end and take the tournament, because it is truly a standout among gimmick blogs.

If they win, perhaps this blog too shall become a cool organism :3

@hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

What's more happy holiday cheer than cheering on the destruction of a giant straw goat?

The birds may have won 2023, but I believe in humanity's capability for arson for 2024 <3

a vote for me is a vote for arson! This message was approved by hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavle is SUCH a public service and holiday feature

what's more tumblr than comical destruction and holidays?

sometimes you just gotta vote with your matchsticks

Bringing a cultural staple to tumblr since 2021

Arson is so much more fun

It would be really funny and ironic if it survives the tournament

you have no idea how much joy watching the chronicling of the gavlebocken brings me every year

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet provides an essential public service

always love seeing a bit of Swedish history on my dash 'Swedish bamboo season'

the goat account is peak gimmick blog

If I don't get to beat the goat then nobody does. -pointless-achievements

Never ask Tumblr to choose between lies and arson! The winner threatens by nature to rip apart the very fabric of our DNA!

goat statues made out of straw are exciting and interesting

I wanna see things burn

the goat is an essential part of tumblr culture and the goat blog is a sacred keeper of the tumblr high holidays

watching to see if the big straw goat has burned down each year is a true delight, something I never knew existed until tumblr and the blog dedicated to it

the incredibly focused nature of @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is what makes their gimmick superior.

Please guys bite gavlebocken

Look, I'm Danish. I was put on this earth to annoy the Swedes and vice versa, but even I voted for @/hasgavlebockenburneddownyet

gavlebocken is also such a fun name and this blog informed be about its existence, so for that I am grateful

hasgavlebockenburneddownyet is providing a vital service! Every year, people rely on their updates regarding the fate of our most beloved Yule Goat! How could they NOT deserve the win!?

sacred anti-corporate arson

a vote for gävlebocken is a vote for anarchy!

pls vote for them they're the funniest gimmick keeping track on the funniest phenomena in recent human history, like when i look at their acc i think to myself this is what tumblr was created for

the goat is the GOAT

HASGAVLEBOCKENBURNEDDOWNYET DESERVES TO WIN, I have them on post alert for a REASON

the holiday season wouldn't be the same without them

they do important reporting. Do you look at the news and be like 'the reporters aren't doing work they're just telling you whats happening.' Have some respect for the goat news

let the weird burnt sacrificial ritual of it all appeal to you

nothing makes my December more interesting, arson should win

doesn't barge in on other peoples posts which is always a good thing in my books. not a fan when obnoxious gimmick blogs turn a decent post into a garbled mess

[hailthedragonmaster]

i am. in fact. a clown and a fool. i spend all week in agony and tired and death and dying over doing swing shift. and today im like. hey boss i might do that again on monday. yeah i know i can go back to my normal shift. but we didn't finish that job we were working on. so idk. he said we'd finish it next time. so. yeah i'll be in early. yeah. at least monday idk if it'll be more. but yeah. ok thanks boss. bye. like.......... come on man im doing this to myself now

[knaveofmogadore]

Kfkdks

[natigail]

Dan: Well, now what?

Phil: What do we do?

Dan: So, guys... what if DanAndPhilGAMES just became Dan and Phil?

Phil: What if it was just Dan and Phil with games?

Dan: What if we just committed?

Phil: To doing stuff.

Dan: What if we put a ring on it?

Phil: Put a ring on the chan.

Dan: We're actually just gonna do Dan and Phil content.

Phil: Yeah, properly.

Dan: Not that there's anything wrong with the last year of content, because don't get me wrong... Gaming, great. I think we always do gaming.

Phil: There will always be gaming, for sure.

Dan: Because let's be honest, playing long horror games as probably the most successful type of content on YouTube.

Phil: But we wanna do more with the channel.

Dan: But we can do more with that.

Phil: So, I think that's, we...

Dan: There's nothing wrong with cosy and casual, okay?

Phil: But what if we had both?

Dan: But Dan and Phil playing card games isn't the extent of our creative ambition.

Phil: We have more in our brain minds.

Dan: So what does this mean? 
When does this mean? Well, here is the thing, guys, we literally just got back from this tour, and then we've literally been editing the show and preparing for this night, and here we are with you hanging out with this thing. So, uhh, give give us a minute, so like, you know, work it out. I was like, Phil, you know what would be so dramatic?

Phil: What?

Dan: Just hiatus 2? Just while we were-

Phil: No, we can keep making gaming videos until we're ready.

Dan: So, if you love the kind of Dan and Phil struggling to make content while they're busy doing something else, laps up more content.

Phil: And we're still in the whiteboard phase, so there's... you'll see, you'll see when it's done.

Dan: Don't get me wrong. 
If you absolutely love the type of shit we've been doing for the last year and a half, we're still going to do that.

Phil: That's sticking around.

Dan: We're just gonna do more other stuff.

Phil: More stuff.

Dan: God knows..

Phil: Alright, I wasn't expecting to talk about that right now.

Dan: What do you mean? 
We promised them tea.

Phil *miming giving the chat tea*: Okay, there's the tea.

(Excerpt from Dan and Phil's Terrible Influence Global Livestream Afterparty, 23rd of March 2025)