#if you don’t like this just block me idc I’m not fighting anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

zeltqz · 10 months ago

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it girl | sanzu h.

synopsis. you find sanzu after a fight at a party and end up introducing yourself and helping him patch up. turns out sanzu isn't as extroverted when it comes to speaking to girls, rindou finds out.

contains. smut, first time (sanzu's a virgin), nervous sanzu, bold reader, mentions of violence, busted lips, bruised knuckles, kantou!manji era, nude/explicit photos, oral (m), sanzu gets head for the first time, koko rindou and sanzu are best friends idc.

author's note. sanzu's so pretty but i just know that boy has never felt the touch of a woman, hence why i wrote this lmfao. call it a power move or whatever 🙄 (i wanna see more submissive sanzu honestly). fanart credits: caravaggist

“My head is fucking killing me,” Sanzu said with a pained groan. He began coughing until he started laughing, running purely on adrenaline. “I beat that fucker’s ass, didja see that?!”

“Shut up, stop being so loud.” Sanzu winced when Rindou smacked him upside the head. He looked down at his busted, bruised knuckles and cursed. “We’re so fucking dead.”

“Told you not to drink that much,” Koko sniped, gesturing with his chin over at Sanzu. “Got us into a goddamn fight.”

“Not my fault you guys are such wimps.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Koko doubled over to catch his breath, slumping against a car.

“Are you guys okay?” you called out, steadily approaching the three boys.

Your heart nearly stopped when they all turned to meet your eyes, but there was one you couldn’t take your eyes off of the most. He had green eyes and crazy pink hair tied up into a ponytail. You’d been eyeing him for the majority of the party, just small glances over at whichever end he was loudly talking at. The entire time you had been taking extra shots for courage to approach him but pussied out each time. When you were upstairs, there was loud shouting, chanting, and the sound of things breaking as a group of boys managed to get into a fight. You didn’t see the full thing, only coming down the stairs the exact moment you saw the three of them run outside, tearing down the street and around the block in record time. A quick scan of the party, you saw the pink haired guy was no longer there, so your feet went running before you could even think of what you were doing.

He was much prettier up close, an ethereal kind of beauty you rarely ever see. Not many people can rock long pink hair but he manages to make it work well.

You ran out, taking off after them. It was a miracle you found them, having guessed which direction they must’ve took off in.

“Who are you?” Kokonoi asked, looking strangely at you.

“I was at the party,” you gestured down the street, “and saw everything. Are you guys okay?” you repeated, walking a little closer to the group.

Kokonoi’s hostility dropped down a few notches and he nodded. Rindou shrugged and rolled his neck, trying to ease away the stiffness residing in his bones. Sanzu, on the other hand, just stared at you dumbfoundedly. He didn’t say a word, just stared at you with half wide eyes that only widened when you met his gaze. You held eye contact for a few seconds before looking down at his knuckles. Out of the three, Sanzu was probably the most roughed up, having done the most the entire fight and caught the most strays. His lip was busted and his knuckles were bruised.

“Oh that looks really bad. One second,” you said, pulling out a tissue from your pocket “Can I?” you asked, looking into his eyes. He doesn’t say yes or no, and Rindou isn’t even sure he’s breathing anymore. He doesn’t stop you as you hold his bruised hand and lift it up to your face for examination.

You placed the tissue onto his knuckles. “I’m sorry that happened by the way. I don’t know how it started but I’m sure you guys didn’t deserve it.”

Kokonoi snorted and Rindou elbows him roughly. “Eh it’s whatever. Bottom line is we won, so.”

“You guys shouldn’t be fighting like that though. Especially in public. The police got called and are probably on their way here.”

“Wait seriously?!” Kokonoi whipped his head up at you and you nodded. He cursed under his breath. “We better get going again. Don’t wanna have to get bailed out again.”

Again?

“True that,” Rindou agreed, dusting off his pants. His head was pounding and he might probably have a concussion, but all that didn’t matter to him. He just needed to get out of here. “Call Ran, he’ll come pick us up.”

“He’s gonna fucking kill us,” Kokonoi replied.

“Better him than Mikey.”

“But—”

You tuned out the rest of their conversation and continued dabbing Sanzu’s knuckles, who still hadn’t said a single word since you approached. You blinked up at him and removed the bag from his hand.

“Your lip is bleeding,” you announced, and he almost flinched away when your thumb rose to his lip. “Does it hurt?” He shook his head. “Can I put this on your lip?” You shook the tissue in your hand.

He nodded slowly and your smile nearly sent him straight to heaven. You pulled a water bottle from your purse and wet the tissue, pressing it on his lip and held onto his chin, tipping his head upright so you could see what you were doing better. Granted the tissue probably weren’t helping at all, but you had to work with what you had.

“This looks really painful,” you murmured, fixated on the damages done to his face. He has these two pairs of twin scars on both sides of his mouth that you think are so cute. Without thinking, you let your thumb trace the diamond outline gently. You pull the tissue away from his lip and pocket it. “Does your lip hurt?”

Sanzu shook his head and you smiled. “That’s good.”

Rindou looked over at Sanzu weirdly, wondering why the loudest person in the group was suddenly so quiet. He didn’t have time to explore that train of thought deeper because Kokonoi spoke up.

“Rin, Sanzu. Ran’s on his way now. Let’s go.” He pocketed his phone and turned to you. “Thanks for the warning about the cops by the way. Really appreciate it.”

“It’s no problem.”

A black car pulled up to the curb and the window rolled down. “You three are so fucking dead,” Ran said exasperatedly.

“As long as Mikey doesn’t find out we’re goo—” Kokonoi’s relief came crumbling down as his biggest fear came to light. The passenger seat window rolled down and Mikey’s face came into view. He didn’t look mad, honestly he didn’t look like anything. Just emotionless, but that was enough to scare the absolute shit out of Koko. “Boss, we can explain—”

“Get in the car.”

Kokonoi swallowed but obliged, his feet dragging behind him as he walked around the car to get in.

You looked back over at Sanzu who’s eyes hadn't left yours. “Guess this is goodbye. I’m (Name) by the way. What’s yours?”

Whatever reaction anyone was expecting, it wasn’t for Sanzu to completely stammer over his words, forgetting who he was, or how to form a literate sentence. “Me name? Who is—I—what, huh?”

Rindou looked at him like he grew two heads, even Mikey raised a confused brow. You pressed your lips together in a thin line to stop yourself from laughing and Sanzu’s ears burnt with humiliation. Frankly he was mortified with those being the first words he’s said to you ever. Rindou thankfully saved him from more embarrassment by grabbing the back of his collar hard.

“His name is Sanzu by the way,” he told you before dragging him towards the car, kicking him into the backseat. The door slammed shut and you watched as Rindou entered the front next to his brother and then the car pulled off, recklessly rounding the corner.

You stayed there for a minute, blinking, then smiled giddily down at the floor before making your way back to your friends inside.

~*~

“Yeah they’ve definitely got a concussion,” the nurse said, snapping her gloves off. She stepped away from the three boys at the table and handed them each plastic cups of water. “Make sure you drink plenty of water and get plenty of rest.”

“Thanks doc.” Mikey wrote her a check and she nodded, thanking him before exiting the room. He looked at the three in them in disappointment. They each had an annoying habit of crashing random parties going on in the street and getting shit faced, then turning up to work and events hungover or too exhausted. Now they have hit the final nail in the coffin by getting in a physical altercation with strangers and the police are probably looking for their asses right now.

“I have nothing to say to you three. You heard the woman, get plenty of rest,” he scolded before leaving the room.

“Who wants to bet the medical bills are coming out of our paycheck?” Rindou asked, sliding off the table. He rubbed his head exhaustedly and yawned.

“I might just have a heart attack if I see that,” Kokonoi responded, shuddering.

“That girl…” Sanzu muttered under his breath, scratching his chin.

“What?”

“That girl,” he repeated louder as if he just came to a sudden realisation, “was a fucking angel!”

“Oh. Welcome back to earth Mr. Who me is name I what?” Rindou mocked, amusement written all over his face as Sanzu rolled his eyes.

Kokonoi laughed loudly. “Oh yeah! What the fuck was that all about?”

“Shut up,” Sanzu grumbled and closed his eyes, blocking their mockery out. He tried to picture your face again behind his closed lids but the concussion was slowly getting worse and your face was starting to fade from his memory. “I need to find this girl and redeem myself. What’s her name?” he said snipply, snapping his fingers at the two boys for them to hurry up.

“Stop being a weirdo. You probably blew your chances anyway,” Rindou stated.

“Nah uh! It wasn’t that bad!”

“Who me is name I what?” Kokonoi repeated and Sanzu groaned loudly.

“Keep making fun of me whatever! But when I find her and make her my future wife I don’t want to hear shit from any of you.”

“Wow,” Kokonoi fake gasped. “You can tell your future kids the story of how you met!”

“Future wife huh?” Rindou chuckled. “So we’re just skipping past girlfriend?”

“Gotta aim big.”

Kokonoi shook his head. “That girl wants nothing to do with you.”

“Yeah? Well why did she patch me up and not you two fucking idiots then? HUH?” Sanzu gestured to his busted lip. The two boys had nothing else to say and just rolled their eyes, muttering whatever under their breath. “Exactly, shut the fuck up.”

Sanzu traced his scars with his finger. He could still feel the gentle trail of your finger on his skin and closed his eyes once more, picturing you in front of him, staring up at him with such care in your eyes as you genuinely found yourself worried at his injuries. He looked down at his knuckles, still bruised, and pictured your hand in his. He regretted not saying more to you earlier, regretted not actually having a conversation with you and telling him his injuries looked worse than they actually felt.

Sanzu stood up and Rindou called out to him. “Oi. Where the hell are you going? We’re heading back to mines.”

“I’m going back to that party to redeem myself.”

“It’s been like an hour and it’s almost three am. She’s long gone. Let it go.”

Sanzu shook his head, condescendingly clicking his tongue in a way that ground Rindou’s gears. “Don’t be jealous Rin.”

“Jealous of?”

“I got a girl that wants me for me, not my dick.”

“That’s something only a virgin would say,” Kokonoi inputs, laughing when Sanzu instantly closes his mouth. “No way, are you actually a virgin?”

“No I’m not!”

“Yes you are!”

“I’m not!”

“Who’d you lose it to?”

Sanzu scoffs. “Like anyone remembers that,”

“Okay playboy.” Rindou laughs. “I remember mine.”

“So do I,” Kokonoi high fives Rindou. The two of them look at Sanzu. “Well? What’s her name?”

“I was high. Don’t remember,” Sanzu shrugs. Rindou looks over at Koko who both equally look unimpressed. “ANYWAY! It doesn’t matter because I’m going to find that girl and redeem myself tonight.”

Kakucho enters the room. “Find what girl?”

“Redeem yourself for what?” Kokonoi asks.

Rindou laughs even louder. “Redeem himself for “Oh friend who I am what?””

Sanzu’s ears burn when Koko joins in the laughter. “Alright so just forget my question. Cool,” Kakucho rolls his eyes.

“Sanzu got us into a fight tonight and some girl helped him with his busted lip and now he thinks he’s in love.”

“I don’t think—”

“We know,” Kokonoi interrupts.

Sanzu shoots him a glare. “If you’d let me finish,” he says snarkily. “I don’t think I'm in love. I know I am.”

“In love with a girl you don’t even know the name of?” Kakucho asks hesitantly. He should be used to this by now honestly, it's not the first time Sanzu got hyper fixated over something, except in this case it's someone. In actuality, he should be worried for this girl, knowing how obsessive Sanzu gets at times. Picturing the boy in a relationship was something Kakucho just could not do no matter how hard he tries.

“I’ll find her name. You forget who I am and what I do in this goddamn organisation?”

“Aside from dragging us to useless parties and getting us involved in unnecessary fights?” Rindou asked.

“You had fun tonight, stop acting like you hated it that bad,” Sanzu complained.

“What did this girl look like?” Kakucho asks.

Sanzu describes your appearance from your height all the way down to your eye colour, recounting to his friends every single detail he managed to observe about you the entire time he spent staring at you. They all looked at him with concern. Sanzu noticed their glare and shrugged. “What?”

“Surprised you didn’t count every single lash of hers honestly,” Kokonoi rubbed his forehead exhaustedly when his head pounded again. “This headache is killing me. Gonna head home.”

They all said goodbye and waited for him to leave the room.

“I think I know the girl,” Kakucho said, recounting the horrifying moment of Sanzu describing you in as much detail as possible.

“WHAT?!” Sanzu exclaimed far too loudly for his head and Rindou’s to handle, a sharp pain shooting their heads. “Ah fuck,” he groaned, rubbing his head.

“Are you serious?” Rindou asked, looking at Kakucho who nodded.

“Yeah. Someone like that lives on my floor. I see her leaving every morning.”

“To Kakucho’s we go!” Sanzu grinned, grabbing the younger boy's hand and dragging him outside. Rindou reluctantly follows behind them, wanting to see where this situation was heading.

Kakucho ended up being right, and when they entered the lobby of his apartment, they saw you collecting your mail. Sanzu’s feet felt frozen to the floor as he just stared at your side profile. He almost had a stroke when you turned to face in his direction, and he swore you were looking directly at him when you broke out into a smile, waving your hand.

“Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while,” you said and Sanzu was confused. It’s only been a few hours, hasn’t it?

You were walking and he stood up a little straight when it looked like you were heading towards his direction, only for his heart to do a complete 360 when you hugged Kakucho instead. It wasn’t an affectionate hug, both your hands barely lingered on each other’s body, just an awkward side hug that lasted barely 2 seconds.

“Yeah, you know. I’ve been busy with work and stuff.”

“Ah cool cool. I’ve been collecting your mail though.” You handed him his mail. He thanked you and held them under his arm.

You looked at two boys next to them and then gasped. “Oh its you!” You pointed between Sanzu and Rindou, who only nodded, asking how you’ve been. Sanzu was frozen again as you and Rindou gave each other basic small talk, only breaking out of his stupor when Rindou elbowed him hard in the stomach.

You bit down a laugh when you saw Sanzu clutch onto his stomach in pain. “Oh my god, are you alright?” Sanzu could hear the laugh in your voice, but didn’t feel offended the slightest.

“I’m good, yeah. Just distracted.”

“Oh. Am I boring you?”

He was too scared of the fact you thought that about him to notice the playful hint in your voice. “No! Not at all. I just have a concussion that's all.”

“No way. Does it hurt? Are you okay?” You hesitantly lift your hand up and press it on his forehead which is burning up. “You need to get some sleep right now.”

“It’s too late to drive right now.” Kakucho says. “You two can just sleep at mine.”

“Only if I get your bed,” Sanzu adds.

“Fuck that. Sleep on the couch.”

“But I’m concussed.”

“And who’s goddamn fault is that?”

Sanzu rolled his eyes. Kakucho sighed. “Fine. You can get the bed.”

“Let’s fucking go,” Sanzu grinned and started heading towards the elevator. The other two boys followed them and Kakucho looked behind at you.

“You coming?”

Sanzu pressed the button and turned to look at you and Kakucho as you shook your head. “No, I'm heading back out.”

“Right now?” Kakucho says and looks at his watch, “It’s almost 4 am?”

“I know,” you sigh exhaustedly. “My friend, well kinda friend, I guess wants me to come to his house. Just got his text a few minutes ago.”

“At this hour?” Kaku says sceptically.

“So a booty call?” Rindou says and gets elbowed by Kakucho, telling him to mind his business.

You laugh. “I guess if that's what you want to call it. I don’t sleep with him, he just uses me to impress his friends it feels like.” Your eyes slide over to Sanzu who has a scowl on his face and looks away almost immediately after you make eye contact. “I don’t wanna do it but he scares me so I feel like I have to.”

“What’s his name?” Kakucho asks.

“Why? You gonna hurt him?” you ask back. Though you and Kakucho are only neighbours at best, you’re well aware of what he does and his reputation around town. The Brawler is his nickname, or was, back when he was in Tenjiku. But you didn’t know what his role or job entailed, all you knew he was in some shady shit and you wanted no part of it.

“Depends if I know the guy or not.”

You roll your eyes. “His name is Osanai.”

“Wait a minute,” Rindou says, “Is he tall? Smokes all the time, blonde hair? Kinda tan?”

“Yeah…” you say slowly, sceptically, “how’d you know?”

“We’ve actually been kinda looking for that guy. Mikey wanted to see him, didn't he?” Rindou asks Kakucho who shrugs and points over to Sanzu who’s been awfully quiet the entire time. “Didn’t he?” Rindou asks Sanzu again.

“Oh. Yes he has.” He looks up and meets your gaze one more time before looking away.

“Where’s he at?” Rindou asks, approaching you.

“I dunno probably his house?”

“Okay but where genius.”

You give him Osanai’s address and he starts heading outside. “Wait! Don’t kill him or something.”

“Why do you care what we do? Doesn’t he scare you?”

“I mean yes but that doesnt mean I want him dead…”

Kakucho sighs. “Sanzu wait here with (y/n), me and Rindou will sort this out.”

Sanzu instantly looks at Kakucho. “Wait—”

“Just do it,” Rindou snickers before the two of them leave. Sanzu watches them go with a betrayed look on his face, already thinking of 101 different ways to kill Rindou once he got back home. You look up at Sanzu and smile at him.

“So…you can go home if you want. I don't need a babysitter.”

“No it's fine I'll uh wait here.”

“We can go back to mine?” you ask a little hopeful.

Sanzu opens his mouth to speak but the words can't seem to come out. He resorts to nodding and you smile, taking his hand in yours and walking up to your apartment.

~*~

Three hours in and you’ve been binging shitty movies together, laughing at the bad plot and horribly written characters. When you first saw Sanzu at the party, he was outgoing and the life of the room honestly. Maybe your opinion is a bit biased because you were focused on nothing but him, but he had this energy that attracted you to him. Now, in front of you, he’s nothing like he was a few hours ago, he seems shy and reserved, keeping to himself but he’s still funny and cracks a few jokes that make you cackle every now and then.

“Wait you got a little, i’ll get it for you,” you say, cupping his chin and turning his face to you. He watches you with wide eyes as your thumb comes up to his lip and wipes some tomato sauce off. you make continuous eye contact with him as you bring your thumb to your mouth and lick the sauce off the tip. Then, you almost give the guy a heart attack when you go back in with your wet thumb and wipe the remnants of the sauce on the corner of his mouth.

His pizza flops in his hand and something else rises in his pants as you pull back, sitting reasonably closer than you did before, resting your head on his shoulder, continuing to watch the movie. It’s hard for him to even focus on the TV with you sitting this close to him right now. He can smell your shampoo, your perfume, can feel your body heat warming him up and he’s actually going to pass out if you continue clinging to his arm like that. He clears his throat and shifts in his seat a little, hoping his boner goes down and praying you don’t see it.

Just to be on the safe side, he nonchalantly grabs a couch cushion and places it on his lap, claiming he's cold. You don’t buy it one bit but only smirk at the hidden implications. You let out a fake yawn and shift even closer to him, bringing your feet onto the couch, shifting into a lying position.

You look up at Sanzu and smile slightly. “Is this okay with you?” you ask, batting your eyes at him.

“Y-yea. It's fine. cool.” He swallows thickly and turns to look back at the TV.

The cushion gets in the way and you click your tongue, sitting upright and almost bashing him in the jaw with your head. You toss the cushion away and Sanzu's about to protest before you lay back down, your head only inches away from his crotch. His erection was going down slowly but now it might as well sprung back up.

“Oh wait a second,” you said, sitting upright and Sanzu almost panicked when you pointed down at his crotch. “You okay?”

“I—sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No, it's fine,” you laugh. “These things are uncontrollable, I know.” Sanzu sighs in relief. “Do you need any help?” you ask and he blinks at you.

“What?”

“Nevermind,” you clear your throat. “That was a dumb question.”

“No wait!” he says abruptly, making you jump. “I mean, yeah, if you don’t mind.”

“Really?” you perk up a little.

“Yeah I guess.”

You move to sit next to him, your head only inches away from his. “This is gonna sound a bit creepy but,” your eyes drop to his lips, “I’ve been wanting to do this since I saw you tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” you say absentmindedly, distracted as you ran your finger over his scars. “Thought you were so pretty.”

“Pretty…?”

“Yeah, you’re really pretty Sanzu.”

He bites his lip, fighting the urge to look away from your intense eyes in the dark. You’re leaning in closer and his eyes close and then he feels your lips pressing against his. It starts off with short pecks that linger a little too long before you're actively moving your lips against his. Your hand cups his face and you pull him closer, sucking on his lips and entering your tongue into his mouth. He moans softly when your fingers find their way to his hair, scratching gently at his scalp.

You pull away and plaster kisses to his neck, gently pushing him down onto the couch, your body basically straddling him as you kiss down his throat.

His body feels hot and he can't focus anywhere but your lips going down his body. Your fingers grab the seam of his shirt and your lips tickle against his skin as you mutter, “Take this off.”

He obediently does as he’s told and lifts his arms up as you help him remove the shirt. You toss it on the other couch and sit upright to examine his chest. His abs were faint but visibly and you bit your lip, running your finger along his chest.

He stares up at you as you look distracted at the sight of his bare chest. You make eye contact and smirk a little before lifting your shirt up and over your head. His eyes go wide at the sight of you in your bra. You go back down and kiss down his stomach, fingers moving to unzip his jeans and pull them down.

“Wait wait wait!” You freeze and look up at the boy in front of you, tilting your head in confusion. He swallows thickly. “I haven't…done this before.”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”

“Shocking, I know.”

“Oh. It really is. I thought girls would be all over a guy like you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like I said before, you’re really pretty Sanzu.” He instantly looks away and you laugh. “You’re shyer than I expected Sanzu. At the party you were really loud and stuff, I didn't expect this. It’s cute.”

“I’m not shy.”

“You said less than 100 words to me tonight and we’ve been hanging out for almost four hours.”

“...”

You laugh and sit upright, leaning back in to kiss him. “Do you still want me to…” Your fingers trail down his body, rubbing the outline of his cock in his briefs.

“If you want to.”

“I obviously do, that's why I'm asking you.”

“Sure then.”

You give him one last kiss before settling back between his lips. His cock has never felt more sensitive than in this moment when your fingers wrap around his cock, pulling it free from his boxers. It stands tall against your face and you lick the tip, not ceasing eye contact. He feels obligated to watch you suck his cock and desperately wants to look away because he knows he will bust in less than ten seconds if you keep staring at him like that.

You take him in your mouth and he moans so loudly, the sound soft and heavenly. You smile around him and begin to suction your cheeks as you take him lower. Your tongue swirled around his shaft every time you bobbed. He was throbbing inside you, your heavy eye contact and warm mouth making him grow harder.

He finally broke the eye contact to throw his head back, a long groan of “fuccccckkkkkkk,” leaving his mouth as he placed his hand on your head, bobbing you up and down. You moaned when his hips bucked up into you.

You pull off his cock and jerk him off, his words dying in his throat when he feels your tongue lick his balls, sucking gently on them.

He sits up and holds the back of your head, his fingers digging into your scalp as he pants heavily. Your eyes squeeze shut as you focus on pleasuring him, putting your mouth back onto his cock and taking him deeper than you did before, your fingers gently massaging his balls.

“I’m gonna—fuck, i’m coming,” he groans and without warning holds the back of your head, pressing you down and came inside your throat.

Honestly you were shocked he lasted this long. Your body felt so warm and hot hearing his pretty moans, and the sight of him with his mouth open, head thrown back was something you’d never forget. His grip on your head ceased and you pulled off his cock, eyes teary and watery and mouth full of cum.

“Oh shit,” he mutters, watching you take a minute before swallowing. His dick twitches again. Without thinking, his thumb comes up to the corner of your lip and wipes a stray drop of cum. Before he can remove his thumb, your head turns and you suck the tip of it. “You’re actually trying to kill me, aren’t you,” he groans and you giggle around his thumb.

“Are you a virgin too if you’d never gotten head before?”

He nods shamefully and you can’t help but kiss him again. “Want me to take it?” you ask, forehead resting against his.

He blinks at you before not-so-subtly dropping his eyes down to your cleavage. “yeah.”

You grin and push him back down onto his back, slipping off the couch. He watches you strip down naked, your bra and panties are tossed to the opposite couch. Thanks to the help of the tv, your body is still a shadow but the outline of your body makes him instantly hard again. You climb back on top of him.

His hands migrate to your hips, and with absolutely zero confidence with what he’s doing, his hand slides towards your clit and you gasp when his thumb snakes its way to your folds. “You’re really wet.”

You squirm, slightly embarrassed but bite your lip, amusement in your voice as you say, “Yeah…that’s supposed to happen.”

“I know that,” he grumbles, still rubbing your clit in circles, wetting his fingers with your arousal. “I’m not an idiot.”

He pulls his hand away and you grab his wrist, guiding his finger into his mouth, watching him suck your juices off his fingers. “God that’s hot,” you pull his fingers out and lean back down to kiss him.

“I'm going to get condoms,” you say against his lips before pulling away. He nods and watches you head down the hallway when his phone buzzes.

rindou: we found osanai so we’re heading back right now

sanzu: hell no just go home

rindou: ???? walk home then tf

sanzu: don't think that's an issue honestly think i might be sleeping over if you know what i mean ;)

rindou: what? you’re getting laid? YEAH RIGHT

sanzu: IM NOT LYING

rindou: i never once ever in my entire life found you funny but you’re telling some good jokes right now

sanzu: 1) im always funny, 2) im serious. i would send you proof but then you’d see my dick and thats gross

rindou: would rather bleach my eyeballs honestly. you could barely look this girl in the eye and you really expect me to believe you’re fucking her?

“I’m back!” you call out making sanzu jump. “What’re you doing on your phone?” you ask, snatching it from his hands and reading the messages.

It’s a miracle it’s dark right now because Sanzu doesn’t know what he’ll do if you saw him blushing from embarrassment right now.

“He’s fucking rude. Why doesn’t he believe you?” you huff, handing him his phone back before your face lights up. “Wanna show him?”

“Show him what…” He hopes you’re not heading in the direction you’re so obviously going.

“You know what I mean, c’mere.” You sit back against the couch and pull up the camera app on his phone. You hold the phone out in front of you, “Stick your tongue out.”

He does so and you stick yours out also, just barely grazing his as you snap a bunch of pictures. You take a couple more in different poses, putting your lips in a kissy face and kissing his cheek, his lips and resting your forehead against his as you smile at the camera.

You sit upright and scroll through the photos, smiling at each of them. “Send these to me after yeah.” You toss the phone behind you and rip open the condom. You reach behind you and slip it easily down his shaft before aligning it with your pussy. “Ready?”

“Yeah…” The tip nudges your clit before slipping inside, warm heat instantly engulfing the tip of his cock and his mouth falls open, panting breathily as you continue sinking downwards, watching the pleasured look on your face as your pussy squelches trying to accommodate his entire length.

“Oh fuck,” you whimper, fixing your hands onto his chest for support. You bounce experimentally, ripping another moan from your throat it sinks you a little lower.

“Shit, shit—wait,” He digs his nails into the fat of your ass cushioned against his thighs.

“Sanzu,” you moan, collapsing down onto his chest, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He can hear your breathy pants beside his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“You feel so fucking good,” He huffs against your ear and you sit upright, pushing your arms behind you to his knees and start swiveling your hips in circles that turn to full on bouncing on his cock.

His eyes are focused on your tits that swing in motion with your movements and he can’t help but lift you up and down on his cock. “Fuck,” He gropes and squeezes your cheeks as you whimper, clenching around his cock with every bounce.

“Touch me please,” you whimper, looking down at him, grabbing one of his hands and bringing them up to your tits. He squeezes it and runs his thumb along your nipple, sending ripples of pleasure through your body, giving you more motivation to continue bouncing.

“Wait, slow down— oh fuck.” His body was tense, and you were sure he was leaving fingernail shaped dent marks on your hip with how tight his grip was. His cock felt so good, having a slight tilt to it that hit that spot no other guy had been able to reach. You couldn’t stop bouncing, his words falling on deaf ears.

“Wait wait wait stop,” he gasped, his grip getting tighter, bringing you to a stop. Wasting no time, you lean back down and begin kissing along his jaw as he catches his breath, impatiently wiggling your hips just to feel something. “I just came,” he admitted.

You froze and shot up, looking down at him. “For real?” he nodded, wiping a shameful hand over his face. “That's so cute,” you giggle and kiss him.

You lifted yourself up and off his cock and laid down on top of him. “Did you like it?” you ask, tracing your finger along his chest.

“Yeah, it felt so good.”

“Yay,” you smiled bashfully.

“You didn’t finish though.”

“Eh it's not a big deal. I wanted to make you feel good.”

“Still though…” he mutters, pouting at the fact he didn’t make you feel as good as he felt.

His phone buzzed and he sat upright to grab it.

rindou: having fun loverboy??? u busy humping her pillow to text me back? asshole

Sanzu scoffs and you lean your head against his shoulder and read the messages. “Send him the photos.”

He turns to look at you, your lips almost brushing against his in the process. “You sure? You’re kinda naked in them.”

“I don't really care. It’s just a boob. You can crop it out if you’re that worried.”

“Okay…” He crops your chest out of the photo and stares down at the photos once more. He's never deleting these. He sends three different photos to Rindou, not even bothering to caption them and turns his phone off, waiting for his response.

“Oh wait! Gimme your phone!” You hold your hand out as he hands it to you.

“What’re you doing?”

“Adding my number,” you hum and add your number to his contacts, adding a heart after his name. You’re never usually this forward, but you knew you wanted Sanzu from the moment you saw him, and you weren’t going to let him slip away. “Call me when you get home. okay?” Your forehead brushes against his and your eyes dart down to his lips, fighting the urge to kiss them.

“Okay.”

You give into temptation and kiss him slowly. Your thumbs traced along his jawline as you hum, almost lazily enticing your tongue with his. His hands ran teasingly along your body, cupping your ass and pulling you back on top of him.

The doorbell rang and you sat upright, cursing under your breath. “I’ll get it.” You press one more kiss to his lips and slip off the couch to re-dress. Your shirt was backwards and your pants were inside out, but you didn’t care as you answered the door with a cheery, “yes?”

Kakucho rubbed his forehead with a world heavy sigh and you instantly felt all colour drain from your face. He was with Rindou and probably saw the photos. “How can I help you Kaku?”

“Just…just tell Sanzu to come on, let’s go.”

Sanzu appears behind you,redressed, and gives you a hug goodbye, his arms lingering around your form for much longer than Kakucho considered friendly. You pull away and whisper in his ear for him to call you when he gets home. He nods and you plant another kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Sanzu is about to deepen the kiss before Kakucho grabs him by the back of his shirt and tugs him out of your apartment.

#sanzu x reader #sanzu haruchiyo x reader #tokyorev x reader #tokrev x reader #tokrev #sanzu smut #tokyorev smut

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aris-ink · 1 year ago

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Ari. Honey. Darling. Love.

I am not joking when I say I will rip into any bitch who is mean to you. Your work is fantastic. You are fantastic. Respectfully and disrespectfully people on the internet are too sensitive and need to learn to takes things with a groan of salt.

You are more than allowed to write darker fics. It’s a writing form for a reason. If people out there can’t look at your work and see it as a fictional creation meant to explore a means of creativity then fuck them. They don’t even have to read it. They can just skip over it or block the tags or you even.

Like. I don’t know how other people read fics or watch movies or the shows but the point of them is to pretend for a little while. To have fun with it. People happily watch horror movies and watch murder documentaries or screwed up stuff like that when some of the events are based on real life going ons. But they can’t handle a little (incredibly well written and thought out) story that they DONT EVEN HAVE TO READ IF THEY DONT WANT!!???

I’m dead ass serious. If there are people being mean to you you need to tell me or even just post the ask with a period as a response and let your wonderful followers come at them with bricks and pitchforks. You may not be mean. But I am for the people I care about.

We protect our own in this community.

I am... just... bear with me for a sec... when I want to put somebody on my rec list, I always ask first. people don't usually do that but I really prefer to, because I wouldn't blame somebody if they didn't want to be publically associated with my blog, you know? that just makes you a target as well if someone is awful enough (especially if you're a writer too...), and I don't want anyone to ever get upsetting messages or asks because of me. I even often end up asking if I should go on anon if a mutual's blog is particularly soft, so that they don't get judged for just talking to me.

but every mutual I asked was like, idc lmao I like your writing and if anyone has a problem then too bad 😭 so my point is... you have no idea how much it means to me that you're willing to put yourself forward and... how much it means that you all chose to stand by me. I am never joking when I say to people that I don't want to involve them in my fights, I don't want them to become a target too. you're such a sweet, kind soul, and you don't deserve to deal with rude comments. and it would kill me if you had to just because you stood up for me.

but the fact that you want to and are willing to means more to me than you will ever know. because I don't feel so alone anymore. I don't know how to thank you properly, I don't know how to thank any of my mutuals really, but I do know that I love you all with my entire heart. 🥹❤️ And I love you, so much.

Thank you for being here, thank you for being you <3 and thank you for being my friend. 🥹 Because you're a wonderful one. I love you <3

#I'm sorry I know this got sappy but can you hear me sob ddbdhdhdh #asks #orchid 💕

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lizandbo · 3 years ago

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hellooo i’ve been reading your work recently n i FELL IN L O V E n i was hoping i could get some hcs on how iida would react to his s/o getting into a fist fight and how he would help them clean up? also if he would help them train a bit more so next time it happens they won’t be that badly hurt like this time again love your work MWAH

OHOHIHO thankyou so very muchhhh

i write like a mf toddler dont even start-

<( ‘-////-)> also It’s a coincidence that I get tenya ask a lot… weird but okXD I mean I kinda don’t get anons and shit anymore and it kinda lost my motivation… request any time idc!!

also ima bit confused about if tenya and y/n get into a fight or they get ina random fight with a person but I’m pretty sure you meant y/n being in a fight with someone else but message me if I didn’t comprehended that correctly<3

Tenya stopping y/n fighting:

- ok, first of all I think this is so funny cuz his face would be beat red when you jus swinging at a person (hopefully for a good reason)

- let’s just say the jackass mad you hella mad

- he met you after accidentally meeting each other in the ua dorm halls

- and you started talking together but the jerk showed up behind you and started to call you names and other bs & drama

- and they started getting all up in your face

- you didnt take that shit so you were started swinging left and right with a right hook punch here and there

- tenya has bulging eyeballs now cuz woah. You? Punching? Damn

- dat hot

- but also he was worried about his s/o cuz 1 he don’t wanna get his lover hurt and 2 he doesnt want random fights going on because he’s the class rep

- and many other reasons but all he thought would help was to stop the fight with all his rules™

- but y’all just kept pushing and pulling hair and shit, just giving everything you got

- he was proud but not proud that your fighting out a little bit of nowhere

- but after a little bit of drama and threats he broke up the fight a bit and starting rambling of how you shouldn’t fight and blah blah blah to the person who basically started the whole scene

- the person got irritated and kinda intimidated by iida so the shithead went off

- and then now iida is making sure that you aren’t hurt, frantic af

- some bruises here and there after a few tumbles

- he looks at you in the face holding your cheek which was warm from the activity that you just had

- “are you ok my love?! Tell me if your hurt and it’s my duty to ensure that your safe, it’s my top priority anyways as the class rep“

- “yes I’m fine but that fucker over there fucking messed me up”

- “I know sweetheart… why don’t you go to-“

- “that hag with a big ass syringe? What help would that do”

- “look I know your fed up but please stop acting foolish and let me take care of you, those scratches is gonna end up being a infection“

- you swallowed your ego and let him do what he wants to do

- but in the inside you knew damn well he was right about the infections and it would be better off you not fist fighting other people

- but that bitch made you feel uncomfortable and kinda anxious, but most of you felt eager to fight back cuz who wouldn’t be pissed off?

- you two made it into his room, ofc he has some stuff to patch you up what kind of person would be if he didn’t have one tbh

- he gestured you to lay on his bed while unrolling some bandages

- “you know y/n, you can fight better when you sneak some of the punches, and block yourself while doing some. Punching faster will get the other person confused and land some more punches in the mean time”

- “well thanks for the advice..”

- ”I’m just saying because I don’t want you to get hurt If I’m not there to heal you afterwards“

- “I know… I love you“

- Tenya’s cheeks burned bright at the sudden ‘I love yous’

- “I love you too my love“

#Tenya hcs #lizandbo #tenya x reader #Tenya oneshots #tenya headcanons #Iida hcs #iida x reader #iida x y/n #Iida oneshots #Tenya iida #ALSO THABKYOU SO FUCKING MUCH I LOVE YOU #Anon #finally a fucking ask #Iida fluff #Tenya fluff

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the-acid-pear · 3 years ago

Text

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

#luly talks #btg #i ran out of space but that's good cuz im sleepy and have 3% of battery lol #i wanted to reach chapter 260 but this works #14 last episodes for tomorrow woo #baki liveblog

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simonsrosebud · 4 years ago

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heyyyyyyy

so basically this week has been v stressful for me (this post is mainly so i can rant and get it out of my system)....

ab 5 days ago i saw my 3 friends from home (i go to college in west virginia but im from new jersey hehe) did an xmas gift exchange without me and i don't care for getting gifts bc im not like that but i was just a lil upset that i wasn’t involved or invited in general (which is smth that has happened often) so i told my one friend (fake names) sydney how i felt left out and sometimes unwanted or whatever just in general bc i know they talk & have a chat without me for no reason. and i said u know i get it im at school away from u guys but i’ve said before u know i like hearing what’s going on w u guys idc if u talk ab hometown stuff in a chat with me.

sydney basically disregarded my message and misunderstood it as me being mad that we don’t hang out a lot during a pandemic which, uh, is not true. it was just ab a chat and how i wished they reached out more while im away bc i reached out and didn't get that in return. so then she brought up “and u have a large family and i can't keep track of them so don't get pissed for not wanting to hang w u” which- woah. don't bring my family into this when u have no idea what they do, and also bc it's just not what i’m talking ab. dude, we were just talking ab a group chat on our phones.

granted, if she'd told me this as a heads up when i came home for the winter i would’ve taken it better, but the way she used it was kinda as an excuse and it was just irrelevant anyway.

she got mad and i said “okay i’m done” and she told me im reckless about covid and that “none of us talked with each other u weren't special”. girl, i’m far from special i know that. but don’t lie to me bc i see u post pics hanging with (more fake names) julie and carly often. i didn't say this bc it wasn’t worth my time, i let it go and accepted that we now weren't friends bc once sydney has a minor argument with someone they’re dead to her.

so then there’s carly, who was my best friend but had also not talked w me a lot since i went to college in august. i knew in the back of my mind that carly would follow sydney and that i’d probably lose the whole group from one argument bc that's how sydney works. but i kept my hopes up and today i texted her just ab something random just like oh haha i saw this the other day, and she was all like “how r u gonna do all this and txt me like nothing happened?”. and i explain that yes me and sydney had a fight but not u and i. my sister apparently blocked them all on instagram but i literally only found out when she told me so i was v taken back and apologized for that, and when she said “it doesn't matter she still did it” i was like really? ur gonna blame me for something im not in control of or didn't even know of until right now? and finally i txt u like nothing happened bc i don't want to put u in an awk position in the middle of it. we go back and forth, me explaining that i was talking ab a chat in the first place and she eventually tells me how well its also hard for them to interact with someone who said that hanging w us is a chore.

yes, i did say this once. but i said it to only her only ab the first time we hung out (socially distanced outside) when i came home for the winter. i called her a few days after to tell her how i was confused when i saw her w ppl inside a friend’s house when she told me she couldn’t do that. i explained that it was hard to go somewhere new knowing no one and to have radio silence from them when i’d put the effort in and not get it back, so seeing them that day when i came home almost felt like a chore bc i didn't know how they felt ab me and bc it felt weird to see them after that silence. she was sympathetic and said u know yes i understand that and all- but here she is using it against me when i told her that while crying on the phone.

i tell her this- that that doesn't make sense or add up (im sparing lots of details) and that for her to take something i told her in a state of such vulnerability and use it against me was not okay and not an excuse she can make esp when this all started ab a group chat, it just didn't FIT. and her response was well “all we do is argue ab this stuff. at this point it is clear that this just isn’t working out anymore”

imagine someone saying that about your 6 years of friendship just because you tried telling another friend that sometimes you felt left out and like u were outcasted from the group. that's why she said “all we do is argue ab this”, bc i’ve had the will to bring up the fact that they quite frankly treat me like nothing multiple times. we don’t argue, i told u how i felt and u think i’m attacking u. imagine your best friend telling you “good luck at school but we can’t be friends anymore bc u and sydney had an argument and i don't feel like putting in the effort to be a better friend to u”

idk that's just what it’s felt like.

so today has been quite the day for me. or the week, rather.

if anyone got this far into this post, kudos and give me a quick kalton prompt to do in reward for reading it all LOL.

#this is super duper long #sorry #its ab friend stuff #needed to rant

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theormostat-terminator · 4 years ago

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The essey I promised about the first chapter of book 2 of TAOB

@hella1975 here you fucking go;

Firstly, I wasn't expecting it to start off pretty much where it left off with Zuko. (just a thought, not part of the actual thing, just wanted that out there)

You can just feel from the way how he's losing hope and as he said that "in the beginning he thought he could escape" like,, first he probably thought he could take the guards and blue spirit his ass out of there, and later when he knew that wasn’t possible he probably wasn’t sure the SWT gang would come to save him, since crappy self-esteem and self-worth, but he was hoping, maybe for weeks, that the others would come save him.

I can just imagine the first time he thought he saw Hakoda, in his sleep deprived, starved, depressed state, he was probably so happy and relieved but then when he realized it wasn’t real... that’s probably around the time he realized no one was coming to save him. That in itself just breaks my heart.

Also I just love how he just takes Zi Se under his wing immediately. How he tries to protect him is just *chef’s kiss* but then also realizes that, even though Zi Se is small and LITERALLY FIVE (i thought he was gonna be older,, like 7 or sumn) he already has had to learn how to survive in literal prison.

That fact also kinda makes me imagine how even though Zuko is an awkward little turtleduck, he woulda tried to make it easier for Zi Se. Like, if someone died or got taken and is getting beat up, he would just sing or hum to Zi Se to help him sleep or to keep him distracted from the noises and maybe try to play a game quietly to keep him from seeing unnecessarily traumatizing things, (bodies, bad wounds, I can imagine Chan eating another dead cellmate as well *shudder*) and he would like, teach him games or sumn. Trying to give him a chance to be a kid cuz for all Zuko knows, they could be dead the next day.

AND THEN HE WENT AND MENTIONED UNCLE IROH! He better get those swords from Iroh when they meet up again!!

But whenever there’s sumn bad that happened and the people who are currently in said bad situation start talking about happy plans or sumn that was supposed to happen before shit hit the fan... it always makes me sad.

AND THE FUCKING LOTUS TILE MAKES ME WANT TO SCREAM AND BAWL MY EYES OUT OML-

Them the OTHER THING that broke me; Zi Se asking Zuko to teach him how to meditate and then him thinking of Nanook and Tomkin and how hard he’s trying to block out the memories because they hurt too much im- IM IN SHAMBLES

“It was almost impressive, how quickly they’d taught Zuko to fear fire.”

THAT LINE! Because it probably took a long time to get over his fear of fire the first time he got burnt. And now he would have to relearn to now fear his own element. I’m imagining again how when he reunites with the SWT gang and meets with the Gaang how they all know him as very eager to bend fire etc. But now he refuses to use firebending unless it’s the only option and how he’d only use his swords to fight and I’m just... I break my very own heart with these headcanons and thoughts of what could happen.

AND NOW TO THE SWT

I LOVE HOW HAKODA IS LIKE “BRO WTF, YALL ARE KIDS WHAT YA DOING FIGHTING A WAR THAT SHOULDN’T BE YOURS TO BEGIN WITH?!”

Also just the shock of the “last time i saw my kids they were small and Sokka was so scrawny and katara barely could make small waves. And now they’re soldiers in this damned war.”

Also I don’t know what I was expecting but how quick the it went from, “yeet, to the north pole” to “DAMN BA SING SE FUCKING FELL WTF-” was not it.

And I can just feel the pain Hakoda feels from being separated from his kids again so fast.

And like, I gET IT, we’re supposed to like Bato and he didn’t have a chance to be emotionally attached to Zuko. BUT WHY IS HE MAKING ME SO ANGRY LIKE AJOJLKJALFJOPWJPAOJFOIHOF. GO KILL FONG IDC BATO DON’T STOP THEM ISTFG!!!!

And when it switched back to Zuko I was lowkey waiting for Fong to be like. “Look at this prison we have. Look how secure it is. Look how hopeless we’ve got these criminals to be.” And then they like line the prisoners in the courtyard and Zuko’s like holding Zi Se and ready to whisk him away from danger and like he’d be looking at the ground cuz they weren’t allowed to look the warden/guards in the eyes without getting beat up and he doesn’t wanna put Zi Se in danger and then he doesn’t relaize Hakoda and the others are there and when he hears his voice he’s either like “this shit is another hallucination” or whips his head up and sees them and the SWT STILL HAS TO BE LIKE COMPOSED AND NOT CAUSE A FIGHT BUT ZUKO’S RRIGHT THERE AND- okay i’m getting carried away with what i thought was gonna happen.

AND I KNOW IT’S SAD AND ALL BUT IT JUST MAKES ME HAPPY ZUKO HAS FINALLY FINALIZED HIS THOUGHT ABOUT OZAI AND HOW shITTY HE IS YES!

AND THE THING ABOYT HOW HE USED TO SCREAM HIS THORAT RAW WHEN BEING BEAT UP/BURNED BUT NOW HE DIDn’T JSUT TELLS VOLUMES, LIKE HOW OGFTEN DID THIS HAPPEN FOR HIM TO GET USED TO IT MY POOr BABY!!!!

The whole pendant thing was so sweet, in the middle of all that, JUST SO SWEET THANK YOU.

And it makes me sad how they have to fight for food and how Zuko is mostly doing it for Zi Se... HE IS SO SWEET BUT THIS IS SO SAD!!!??!?!?!?!

anD LASTLY THE FUCKING AUTOGRAPH THING.

THat was what finally broke me and made me cry cuz like. They were lowkey fighting(not really but kinda) and then he went to buy it but never got to give it and now he’s keeping it there and I can just feel how he’s like, regretting getting mad over something so trivial and now he won’t get to give the apology autograph (i honestly have bad memory so i don’t remmember if they made up or not so Hella if you could clarify that, then yey)

And like i’m just... There’s just so many emotions.

Your writing is amazing and really makes me feel things. I missed this so much and I’m glad you’re continuing it after THREE FUCKING WEEKS!!! I hope you don’t get tired of writing it and abandon the work, that’s my big fear when it comes to long fics that are good and unfinished, that the author doesn’t want to continue it anymore. :(

But yes, this is the end of this essey, sorry it was so long and uninteresting lmao. either way, Love your work, you have an amazing talent with writing, LOVE YOU OMFG.

#Okay gonna go cry over this fic again.#Heartbreaker Hella #the dream wrecker #my hopes of happiness #they are gone for the next few chapters #let us all cry #let's cry like Tomkin with his autograph #no i will never get over it

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lesbian-deadpool · 6 years ago

Text

Tony, His Adopted Blue Murder Child, And Co.

Tony has created a chat.

Tony has renamed the chat: Fuck Space. Fuck This Shit. I Want Pizza.

Tony: All byyyyyy myyyyy seeeeelf.

Tony: Don't wanna be.

Tony: All byyyyyyyy myyyyyyy seeeeeeelf!

Nebula has joined the chat.

Tony: Tf? Leave me alone to my suffering.

Nebula: Bitch make me.

Tony: Okay, Smurfette fite me.

Nebula: Nah, can't be bothered.

Nebula: Come over here and let me shoot you.

Tony: Don't wanna walk.

Tony: Messing with this ship has exhausted me.

Nebula: Fuck that cable...

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: I don't think I need to elaborate on that.

Wade has left the chat.

Nebula: What? Who was that?

Tony: I have absolutely no clue.

Nebula: Anyway... how long till we touch solid ground again?

Tony: Please refer to my previous answer.

Nebula: Well ain't you just 190lbs of sarcasm.

Tony: Hey! This body is a tight 171lbs.

Tony: But you're right, the majority of it is sarcasm, yes.

Nebula: And what's the rest of it?

Tony: Trauma.

Nebula: Well, I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that.

Tony: Peter used to help me.

Nebula: With your trauma??

Tony: Peter told me he was sorry.

Nebula: What?

Tony: Peter used to say that.

Nebula: Okay...

Tony: Peter used to say that, too!

Nebula: Are you crying?

Tony: Fuck no. Tony Stark doesn't cry for anybody. You can thank my abusive father for that :)

Nebula: I know how you feel.

Nebula: We both have bad fathers.

Nebula: Thanos will breathe his last breath soon enough. Then your son will be avenged.

Tony: PETER USED TO BREATH!

Nebula: Tf?

Nebula: Seriously, stop crying.

Tony: I'm not crying.

Nebula: Then what's that coming out of your eyes?

Tony: Oh, this?

Tony: This is just some depression leaking from my eyes. It's a natural occurrence.

Nebula: ... so, crying?

Tony: HOW DO YOU KNOW?

Nebula: I can see you dude, you're bawling your fucking eyes out.

Tony: SHUT UP.

Nebula: Hey, now you can drink your tears!

Tony: I'M NOT CRYING. I told you, it's liquid depression!

Nebula: Ffs.

Nebula has renamed the chat: Drink your tears, Tony.

Tony has renamed the chat: Go fuck yourself, Nebula.

Nebula has renamed the chat: Drink your liquid depression, Tony.

Tony: That's more like it, thank you.

Nebula: Are all humans like this?

Tony: Only the ones with issues.

Tony: So yes.

Nebula: What a race.

Tony: You can't tell me you've never cried.

Nebula: When I was a child. Before Thanos removed my ability to cry, along with most of my body parts, and organs, replacing them with metal.

Tony: ...

Tony: You're my child now.

Tony: I'm signing your adoption papers. You're legally my child now.

Tony: I've always wanted a daughter.

Tony: You will be safe with me. I promise.

Nebula: ... that was really sweet, and I don't know how to reply to that.

Tony: My God, you are my daughter.

Tony: Don't worry, I will give you the fatherly love you deserve.

Nebula: Your son was so lucky.

Tony: Wait, son? Huh?

Nebula: Yes. That little spider child.

Tony: Peter?

Nebula: Yeah, that one.

Tony: Peter wasn't my son.

Nebula: He wasn't?

Tony: No.

Tony: Yes, I loved him like he was my son. Tried to guide him with what fatherly wisdom I may have. I tried to protect him with my heart and soul. Was proud of every-single-thing he did. Went to every special event he had. He won his high school decathlon you know. He's so smart. And special. I was lucky to have someone so happy in my life. OMG, I miss him so much. Come back, my son!

Tony: So, yeah. Not my son at all.

Nebula: Right... whatever you say...

Tony: Oh my, I almost forgot I was so excited. Consent is key.

Tony: Would you like to be my daughter?

Nebula: Aren't I a little too old to get adopted?

Tony: Idc.

Tony: ???

Nebula: .............. yespleaseIwouldlovethatverymuch............

Tony: Alrighty then. You are my child. I love you, daughter.

Tony: Don't worry. I'll teach you what love is. Me and my to be wife, Pepper. She's your mom now. If she's still alive, that is...

Nebula: Thank you.

Tony: You are welcome.

Korg has joined the chat.

Korg: Hey fellas, fancy joining a revolution?

Nebula: Fellas?

Tony: Who the fuck is this?

Korg: Hi, I'm Korg. I'm made out of rocks, but there's no need to be frightened. I'm a kind guy.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: The Thing. But space.

Wade has left the chat.

Nebula: There he is again!

Korg: Who was that? A friend of yours? Does he want to join a revolution?

Tony: I am way too sober for this.

Nebula: I can kill him for you.

Tony: How about we don't do that?

Valkrie has joined the chat.

Tony: Now who the hell is this?

Valkrie: Who the hell are you?

Tony: I'm the hell person whose chat this is.

Valkre: Oh. Well trust me, I don't want to be here as much as you don't want me to be here.

Nebula: So why are you then?

Valkrie: Korg. Stop talking to these weirdo's, and come help me build this fucking ship.

Korg: A revolutionary ship?

Valkrie: Korg, you do know that we don't need the revolution anymore? We won.

Korg: There's always a need for a revolution.

Tony: I actually agree with the space rock here.

Nebula: Same.

Nebula: Especially if it's against Thanos.

Tony: I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.

Nebula: Whatever. As long as I can stick my blade through Thanos, I couldn't care less.

Valkrie: Who's this Thanos?

Tony: You know how people/aliens/whatever turned to dust around you?

Valkrie: Yeah?

Tony: Yeah, well that was Thanos' doing.

Nebula: And also half of the universe turned to dust, not just the things around you.

Valkrie: Oh.

Valkrie: Yeah, let's kill him. Brutally.

Tony: Glad you agree.

Valkrie: Korg, come on, let's build this ship. And help kill this fucker.

Korg: ... a revolutionary ship?

Valkrie: It can be whatever type of ship you want. As long as you help me build it!

Korg: Okay! Bye guys, I'll send you some pamphlets, if I find out where you are.

Korg has left the chat.

Tony: Hold on, what revolution?

Valkrie: I don't actually know. I black out every time he talks about it. All I know is there was a lot of fighting, and we won.

Nebula: Who mentioned a revolution?

Valkrie: See? Just like that.

Valkrie: Anyway, I gotta go lose what's left of my sanity... maybe I can get drunk.

Tony: Get drunk?

Tony: Where? How? Can I have some?

Tony: Please. I'm so sad. I have lost so much, and I don't know who I've lost on Earth.

Tony: Please help me dull this pain.

Nebula: Jesus man. You need help.

Tony: Hey, that's dad to you. And yes. Yes, I do.

Tony: So, about that booze.

Valkrie: No. All mine.

Valkrie has left the chat.

Tony: Oh, gee thanks.

Nebula: Want me to kill her for you?

Tony: We really need to have a discussion about your immediate reaction with murder.

Nebula: So, is that a...?

Tony: No. That is a firm, no.

Nebula: Do you want me to kill ANYONE?

Tony: No, you don't have to murder for me, or my love.

Nebula: You really are the best dad.

Tony: That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Nebula: Are you crying again?

Tony: No.

Nebula: I can clearly see you.

Tony: ... no, you can't.

Nebula: Just because you're now wearing your Iron Man helmet, doesn't mean you're not crying.

Tony: Yes it does.

The Grand Master has joined the chat.

The Grand Master has changed their name to: TGM.

TGM: Does my name sound weird like this?

Tony: Anybody who calls themselves 'The Grand Master' is a narcissistic weirdo.

Tony: At least 'TGM' can be an acronym for something better.

Nebula: Like 'The Great Mistake'.

Tony: And 'This Guy is Measly'.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: 'Tomg it's Gjeff Mgoldblum'.

Wade has left the chat.

Tony: Huh?

Korg has joined the chat.

Korg: 'To Ghost Men'.

Korg has left the chat.

Tony: What?

Valkrie has joined the chat.

Valkrie: 'To Get Masacered'.

Valkrie has left the chat.

Tony: What?!

Nebula: I like her.

Tony: Of course you do.

Tony: Oh my God, you and Nat are going to take over the world.

Tony: If she's still alive that is...

Nebula: Only one world?

TGM: Oh, oh, can I join?

Nebula: No.

Tony: Leave now.

TGM: This wouldn't happen if I still had my champion. Fucking sparkles.

TGM has been blocked from the chat.

Nebula: Who was he talking about?

Tony: Idk.

Tony: Probably some aliens or something.

Thanos has joined the chat.

Thanos: Sup losers?

Tony: Oh daughter of mine, do you notice something?

Thanos: Daughter?

Nebula: No, my father, I do not.

Thanos: Wait, father?!

Thanos: What have you done to my second favourite daughter, Tony?!

Tony: So, daughter. You were telling me about your sister... like an hour ago.

Thanos: Ahh, yes. My favourite daughter.

Nebula: Gammora. She was an assassin, just like me. I love her. But SOMEONE threw her off a cliff.

Thanos: It was the price to pay for the stone.

Tony: If she were still here I would adopt her, too. Skrew it! Dead or not! She is my daughter, too!

Thanos: WHAT?!

Nebula: She would have liked that.

Nebula: And so would I. Because it would annoy her boyfriend.

Tony: Who's her boyfriend?

Nebula: That imbecile Quill.

Tony: ...

Tony: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Nebula: Nope.

Thanos: I hate him, too.

Tony: I suddenly like him more now.

Nebula: Same.

Thanos: Are you ignoring me?

Tony: Do you notice anyone else in this chat, daughter?

Nebula: No father, I do not.

Thanos: I know what you're trying to do.

Thanos: And I hate you both.

Thanos: I'm glad I destroied half of the universe.

Thanos: Well, screw you two. I'm not going anywhere.

Carol has joined the chat.

Thanos: Oh, shit...

Carol: Hey you purple fuck!

Carol: It's time for you to, gtfo!

Thanos has been blocked from the chat.

Tony: Well thanks for that.

Carol: It's aiite.

Tony: ...

Tony: I'm sorry what?

Tony: Why are you speaking like its the 90's?

Carol: Cuz I'm HELLA cool like that.

Tony: Oh God.

Nebula: Want me to kill her?

Tony: Thinking about it.

Carol: Geez chill. I'm on my way to get you right now.

Tony: Second thoughts! I love her!

Nebula: So do I!

Nebula: Do you have food?

Tony: And water?

Nebula: And oxygen?

Carol: Yes, yes, and yes.

Carol: I also have some guy named Phil, he says he knows you.

Tony: Oh, yeah... I'm hallucinating.

Carol: No you're not.

Tony: I gotta go pass out now.

Tony has been disconnected.

Carol: Drama queen.

Nebula: Good night, dad.

Nebula: See you soon, Carol.

Carol: Cool beans.

Nebula: I don't understand you...

Nebula has left the chat.

Carol: I dig that.

Carol has left the chat.

Somewhere in the soul world

Bucky has created a chat.

Bucky has added Sam, Peter.

Bucky: What is this place?

Peter: I don't know, Terminator Jesus Sir.

Sam: Terminator Jesus!

Sam: That's amazing!

Bucky: Can we be serious here?

Sam: I am being serious! That name is amazing. Screw you and your bad tastes.

Peter: Are we dead?

Bucky: I think so.

Peter: Meh.

Sam: Woah, kid, are you okay?

Peter: Yeah. Man, Aunt May's gonna kill me when she finds out I'm dead.

Bucky: H... how?

Peter: She'll find a way.

Peter: I hope Mr Stark doesn't blame himself.

Sam: Wait, 'Mr Stark'? Are you that spider-kid?!

Peter: Spider-MAN.

Sam: You are!

Bucky: Who is?!

Sam: He is!

Bucky: Oh!

Peter: What is going on?

Sam: YOU WEBBED US UP NEXT TO EACH OTHER!

Peter: Ohhhh, you're those guys.... hi?

Bucky: HI?!

T'Challa has joined the chat.

T'Challa: Death meeting. Now.

Sam: What?

Bucky: How did you even get everyone to listen to you so fast??

T'Challa: A king has his ways.

T'Challa has left the chat.

Peter: He's so cool.

Peter has left the chat.

Bucky: I'm cooler...

Sam: Dream on, Barnes.

Sam has kicked Bucky from the chat.

Sam has left the chat.

(Bonus)

Carol has created a chat.

Carol has added Y/N, Natasha, Thor.

Carol: Right I'm gonna go get your friends.

Carol: Brb.

Carol: Oh, and don't let Goose eat you.

Y/N: Eat us? What?

Natasha: How can a CAT eat us?

Carol: You don't want to know.

Thor: But he is so tiny and fluffy.

Carol: Yeah, you'll be fine. Just don't lather yourself in bacon grease, or have him anywhere near your eyes.

Y/N: Well there goes my bathing plans.

Natasha: And why no eyes?

Thor: It's fine I've already lost one!

Carol: Exactly.

Carol has left the chat.

Y/N: Should we be scared of the cat?

Thor: Probably...

Natasha: We should be scared of every cat. This one more.

Thor: I agree.

Y/N: Hmmmm

Y/N: Gonna go poke him.

Natasha: Wait Y/N...

Y/N has been disconnected.

Natasha: Jesus Christ.

Natasha: Let's go help her.

Thor: And cuddle Goose!

Natasha: Thor no.

Thor has been disconnected.

Natasha: I work with children.

Natasha has left the chat.

254 notes · View notes

sometimesrosy · 5 years ago

Note

I think you’ve answered this before, but can you give advice on curating a positive environment for your fandom experience? As someone pretty sick of the Star Wars fandom complaining I need it. I’m just trying to enjoy a franchise I love for peete’s sake.

I think the key to creating your bubble is to understand what you want your fandom experience to be. Some people LIKE to fight and go on righteous crusades for their faves. Some people ENJOY the war. If you do not, don’t like attacking or being attacked so you can defend yourself, then when you see that, know that this does not belong in your bubble, even if everyone else is getting riled up. Scroll past, unfollow, filter, block.

I think the other key to creating your bubble is accepting that other people do not like the same things you like and that’s okay. Whether a movie, a ship, or a way of fangirling. IMO, as long as people don’t interfere in other’s fun, then it’s free game. So posting a bad opinion on your blog? Go for it. I may unfollow, but enjoy your bad opinions, idc. HOWEVER posting your bad opinion on MY post to tell me I am wrong? NOPE. MYOB, make your own post. Get out of my bubble. Block. We need to allow people to have “wrong” ships and “wrong” theories. It’s not up to us what they believe just like it’s not up to them what we believe. If we think they’re fools, we should keep that to ourselves, probably not mention them by name, maybe in a PM or GC, but even then, do NOT get up a little gang of bullies who all hate what you hate. Is there really a need to give someone else you don’t agree with all your attention. (okay well maybe some people need an enemy to fuel their righteousness. block them. they’re creeps. and if you see someone doing it who you consider a friend, you might want to consider not being one of their sheep and backing away to find a more pleasant bubble.)

Scroll past posts you don’t like. You don’t have to agree with everything. It’s okay. You don’t have to argue with everything you disagree with. I have a 3 strikes rule for that. If I see 3 bad posts from someone, I unfollow them. If I see a great post from them, they get one of their strikes erased.

Unfollow people who make you unhappy, who post things you don’t like, are negative, spread anti ideas, hate what you like. Even if you are mutuals, see if you can follow them on another blog, start a private message with them instead of following a blog that doesn’t make you happy, or maybe just let go of them if they aren’t that important to your life. You can tell them if you like, that you can’t follow negativity, and they might understand and you lose nothing but the negative posts.

Filter terms that trigger or upset you. Filter your NOTPs. I wish we could filter bloggers but I haven’t figured out a way to do that. If some people post people you’ve blocked a lot, consider unfollowing them. It’s not always great to be IN a fandom where everyone is spreading the things and people who bother you, so you may. have to sacrifice those follows.

Block people who are aggressive, bullying, mean, liars, manipulators. Beware the cult of personality, because some people like to create a group of followers who they can tell what to think and do. You may not be able to block all their followers, but you can see the ones who enjoy the bullying right away. You don’t have to wait until it is turned onto you.

Be careful of people who consider themselves positive. Watch what they do, not what they say, because I’ve joined groups that were supposed to be focused on positivity that ended up turning negative because they only meant “oh hey I like this so I’m positive.” But when they didn’t like something, they didn’t worry about being positive or letting it go.

I have stepped away from a lot of fandom. I don’t engage in tumblr games. I don’t do fandom twitter at all because it’s so antagonistic and full of people complaining and demanding what they want. Ugh. I don’t debate people anymore, because even if the person I was debating can do so without attacking or anger or wars, there’s no guarantee that other people won’t get heated and start to declare someone immoral and unrighteous (I am so tired of this.) I should probably remind you that one of the problems with debate today is people don’t understand that ad hominem attacks, or defaming the debater’s character rather than focusing on their argument, is NOT debate. I like to debate. I don’t like what happens in fandom when people debate. They take sides. Make wars. That is outside my bubble so I had to let debate go. I have asked people not to hijack my posts to call me names or be an anti, and if they are unable to stop doing that, they get blocked.

I have kept my ask box open and it is usually open to anons, but I have strict rules that shouldn’t be that hard to follow. No hate. No antis. Ship and let ship. Be respectful. I block people who break the rules. If people send nasty anons once, they tend to send them a lot and you don’t need to play. If i want to answer their ask, i will cut and paste it into a text post and block the anon. You can’t post an ask and then block. Some people screenshot them. If there are too many nasty anons, I will turn off anon for a while.

OH THE TAGS. I never go to the tags. There is no way to cultivate any bubble there. STAY OFF THE TAGS. Follow people who post the kind of content you like. Do not get sucked in by tags for your ship or show that are negative and make you upset and defensive. If you need new content, look at the responses to a post you like and check out the blogs of people who say cool stuff. Scroll a bit to make sure they are not negative. Follow them.

Oh also. Be careful of what you say. Be clear about how much you can handle, and what questions you’re willing to tackle. Even if you only talk about things you love, you can draw negativity. Some people REALLY get offended when you try to enjoy yourself. If you find yourself ranting or getting angry or posting something you know will rile up the fandom, step away from the computer and take a break and come back when you’re cooled down to see if you still feel that way, can say it better, or need to say it at all. The more sensitive a topic is, the longer it takes me to write it because I have to THINK about if I SHOULD say it. Hot takes are often hot messes. I wrote this post twice. The first one was too personal, and too much about what I went through in fandom and as such a bit bitter and antagonistic.

I’ve done a lot to cultivate my bubble and yes it made fandom less fun. But also safer, less nerve wrecking. The anxiety of fandom was not good for my PTSD and anxiety and I recognized that I needed to take care of my mental health more than I needed to calm the fandom panic of strangers on the internet.

It’s also wise to remember that fandom, while it is real social engagement, is about a work of fiction. This is NOT life or death. Those characters on screen are not real. When the show is over, no matter how it ends, whether you love it or hate it, it’s just a show. We can move on and separate ourselves from it, find something new to love. IF our identities are all wrapped up in the show, we might want to, for our own mental health, step back and remember that our world exists outside of fandom. Get obsessed about a different show. Take up a hobby. Meet new friends. Switch to reading for a while. Try something creative. Take up meditation or running or volunteering at the animal shelter. Anything.

#fandom #curating your bubble #this turned out to be more complicated to answer than i thought #i went in stages cutting things out of my bubble as they became a problem #now my bubble is very small #a smaller fandom that fits your needs is better than a large one full of ravening monsters who have no control over themselves

7 notes · View notes

softhaos · 6 years ago

Text

ONE (1) YEAR OF SOFTHAOS

fellas, as of today – jan 14th 2019 – softhaos has turned one year old!! honestly, i never expected to last this long?? over the past year, i’ve gone through many ups and downs, made close mutuals, received so much emotional support from all kinds of people on this site and overall, i’m so thankful that i pulled my shit together and joined the community on tumblr!

i still remember clearly when i first started out with this blog and posted the neighbor aus and got SO much support for it?? like?? i never thought it’d come this far where i could touch readers’ hearts with my word vomits?? that’s just insane. and even if you don’t read my works yet still follow me: wow, i’m so grateful that you managed to cope with my bullshit – be it from my undying hatred towards pcy and kmg, me abusing the uwuwuwu or my personal thoughts.

in other words, this is my message directed to everyone: thank you for keeping up with my bullshit uwu

now on to the part where i thank specific people for making my existence on this site more bearable,, i’ve left a message for everyone i tagged (i would’ve tagged literally everyone but i’m a stressed student i am so sorry if i forgot you kjldl and i would feel bad if i didn’t leave a note to everyone i tagged) and the list is in alphabetical order! @ anons i also left notes from you at the very bottom.

@baekberrie 💌 even though we just talked once literally two days ago thanks to my clumsy ass sending you an accidental ask, i’m so glad i actually did. pola (okay i got this from your about page im sorry kljsdl) you’re an amazing, kind and talented soul with whom i could’ve talked hours about soft bbh if it weren’t for my tiredness. i’ve only read your junmyeon oneshot so far but trust me, i’ll get to that cuddling fic with baek real soon once i’ve got more time uwu you’re honestly a talented writer and i hope we get to talk more in the future!

@baekbuns 💌 i’ve known you for how many days already you anon thot and i really can’t believe that i was vv intimidated by you at first (not gonna lie, you still scream bde but that’s another story-) hope, despite you trying to steal pretty much everyone from anyone, it’s still very fun to fight talk with you and you’re also an excellent writer uwuwuwu i am still very attacked by the thought of bartender yixing one day I WILL SUE YOU ALONG WITH PCY

@baekwell--tart 💌 bella!!!! ngl i’m still very pissed at myself for not realizing you from your old url but i’m glad i found you again!! (did i find you again? idk anymore i suffer from short term memory but i hope i got my point across sdjlkj) you’re such a warmhearted person and i’m really grateful that i got to know you. however, you’re also a funny person and that also shows in your writing - istg one day i will probably have “perpetual boredom” tattooed on my forehead don’t ask why that description of sehun will NEVER fail to make me chuckle!! you deserve all the love and happiness in the world and so much more uwu

@boosoonhao 💌 i know i keep repeating myself when it comes to you aj, but i really have no idea what else to say. i wrote it in the letter, i expressed myself way too often in the tags whenever i reblog your works, yet here i am doing it again (and maybe even more exaggerated than usual, we’ll see): aj, you are one of the most talented writers i’ve ever known and one of the greatest blessings in the community. there, i said it and i mean it! you are one of the very few i know that doesn’t shy away from fantasy-ish aus and executes them brilliantly. the way you have with your words is just fascinating and i find myself sometimes jotting down what you wrote for future references? but writing skills aside, you are a beautiful and kind person and up to this day the key chain you sent me is still intact. aj, thank you for blessing me, blessing everyone with your talent and general existence.

@byuncaa 💌 bianca you smol soft bean you have my heart right there and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we get to talk more in the future uwu you’re such a cute soul gaaah it really makes me wanna send you all the soft memes i possibly own anywaY i hope you just stay as bubbly and bright and adorable as you are uwu

@cafechenle 💌 hani, kaito kid, i don’t know whether you’re still alive on tumblr or not but idc i’m still writing this to you anyway. you’re one of the first people i’ve met on this site and gOD i remember it as clear as day where i was so close to blocking you within the first few minutes of knowing you. yes, i’m talking about the entire mansae chan era discourse. anyway, we don’t talk as much but i hope you’re doing fine my wee lil silver boys supremacist!!

@changbeanbag 💌 landon, we literally just met yesterday but as you can see, i don’t care and i’m writing you a wee lil note anyway. you, my dude, radiate uwu energy and ngl i may have squealed when i saw your tags in the ask i sent you teehee - i hope we get to talk more in the future (that is, if school hasn’t killed me until then-)

@changbiinn 💌 kirra, you beautiful, blue haired visual goddess who has everyone else (including jisung yES I WENT THAT FAR) looking like a mere smurf and found dead in a ditch! i didn’t think i’d get an instant dm from that one inkigayo shitpost but you went ahead and proved me wrong sjljlks timezones fuck me up all the time but nonetheless i hope we get to interact a lil more and gET ENOUGH SLEEP OR ELSE

@cheolsjigyu 💌 MISS VAN NO I DID NOT FORGET YOU HEAR ME OUT. first of all, how could i forget you when you provided me all the great twt aus and the wild chats we had back in?? sometime early last year i guess. it’s been a very long time since we talked and i’m sorry i couldn’t reach out to you any time sooner due to school and the usual stuff (also, uh, i’m not the biggest friend of tumblr dms and barely check any messages there so there’s that too) believe it or not i still wheeze whenever i think of your fic swing baby because goddamnit that jyp song was one repeat for a good week. anyway, i hope you’ve been doing well and are not at the brink of near death like me uwu

@cherryxiu 💌 gran, frank, satan incarnate, whatever else i call you. you may fuck me up with the pcy i’ve never asked for but i hope you know you have a soft spot in my heart (i’ll never say that out loud again tho so see it as a one of a time thing). you’re my fav minseok stan and while i wouldn't necessarily jump off a cliff for you, i’d jump with you uwu anyway, aggressively refrain from sending me more pcy content i’m just trying to live an easy life here. but knowing you, you’ll definitely pretend as if that last part was never written so why do i even bother-

@chillihansol 💌 hanni my child!!! i hope you’re doing fine, aren’t as stressed anymore and have received the love you deserve and more!!! i still remember when i was highkey intimidated by you so i went on anon but then somehow you were startled by my lil threat and then i became your mom anon? funny that has changed over the time skldj hanni, i don’t regret ever going on anon for you and you’re an amazingly talented writer. i already said it once but i’ll say it again: guns n roses was the first svt fic i read on tumblr and just thank you for creating that piece uwu

@choco-seventeen 💌 miss choco, i almost tumbled down the nonexistent stairs in my apartment when i saw you ??? sliding into my dms ??? and then reading my word vomits ??? and then you followed me ??? and everything that followed after ??? i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me and up to today it remains a mystery to me ngl. we love a talented, kindhearted, fantastic, stunning, visual writing queen who is ofc the right person to love thanks to the avatar discourse she started!!! choco, keep on enlightening everyone’s life with your mere existence, the tags you put in your reblogs that make me smile and of course, wonderful stories <33

@custardheart 💌 taylor, i don’t think we have ever talked (unless you approached me on anon maybe then maybe yes??) but i just wanted to thank you for blessing my notifications. you’ve been supporting me / on my notifs for quite a long time - may i say you’re like one of the first followers i had when i first started out? THAT’S how long you’ve been here already and i can’t thank you enough <333 (please don’t ask me why i know that but goddamn every time i see that jeonghan profile picture i already know it’s you djklj)

@dinoshaur 💌 sha! lee! i know we barely talk to each other but i just wanted to use this opportunity to thank you for making some of my days with your astounding fics!! one of my favorite works from you will always be “flower crown prince” because you have NO idea how much i struggle with finding seungkwan fics dkkjljlk i’m sorry i didn’t submit anything for the lfw challenge i really tried to make it but you know, life problems happened whoops. i wish you all the happiness and inspiration and love from chan himself you gifted angel uwu

@forevershua 💌 dear fossil mother ryan, i can’t believe i internally pronounced your name wrongly for pretty much half a year knowing you. please forgive me. okay, but all seriousness aside, you’re one of the closest people from this site!! i really love you so so much though i can’t guarantee that i love you as much as you love jeonghan more than shua; i still shed tears whenever i pull out your two postcards - especially the minghao one; i think i suffered from mild heart palpitations when i got it in the mail (and still do). i hope we get to meet this year and possibly clown rat together and just stay the somewhat sane person left in the gc <33 p.s HOW DO YOU FUNCTION WITHOUT A FRIDGE I STILL CANT BELIEVE THAT

@gamerwoo 💌 rocket, you’re always active when it’s the ungodly hour where i live and it has happened more often that i stay awake because of you. not only do i have loads of stuff i can queue from you (teehee) you recently started posting stories again and the ones you hammered out lately just??? do things to me??? for real though do you have sadistic tendencies or somethin because you posted TWO (2) nsfw stories that I indulged at 2 AM IN THE MORNING. aside from that minghao and junmyeon stuff, uuuh, i finally got around to finish your ghoul au which i completely adore!! i’m looking forward to your upcoming works uwu and hope you get all the positivity and good vibes only uwu (p.s i have to confess: my dumb ass seriously thought the “woo” in your url referred to jungwoo and for some good weeks i thought you ult jungwoo rIP ME)

@hearttoshu 💌 jess, i don’t know what in the world i did to have you notice me because i’m gonna be honest here, i was scared of you skaljdlkjslkj please i don’t even know why, you seemed very intimidating but i was proven wrong in an instant!! you are one super soft bean with hq gifs and a love for jun and shua that reaches up to infinity and beyond!! your tags always get the best out of me and i’m really grateful for having you in my life uwuwuwuwu

@jejublr 💌 ew rat, you’re finally adulting. jokes aside, you were the first victim to fall under my disastrous typo errors and may i say that i’m just simply ICONIC for forever slapping that legendary nickname on you uwu nat who?? we only know RAT. you’re the one person i can always run to when more serious issues are bugging me since i guess you can relate the most to my personal dilemmas and i just wanted to thank you for being there for me <33 that, and for keeping gran somewhat at bay. i hope we get to meet up this summer where i’ll feed you with lots of chocolate while teasing ryan about her biasing jeonghan LMAO and just like most people from the gc, you’re one of the first close mutuals i’ve made. in a way, you could say you’ve been with me here since day 1 (almost) xx

@jin-hua 💌 mayo / mango / mayo that tastes like mangoes / idk i bet i have misspelled your names approximately 993828 times in 937987 different variations but guess what? i still love u to death uwu i love me a fitness queen, a visual goddess not even god himself could ever and i’m so so glad that you exist in my life <333 i know i promised you a crackhead message but when i think about it there’s not really a lot to say that’s out of place when it comes to you?? you’re an angel uwuwu the light of my life frank could NEVER

@justsomekpopstuff 💌 jj it is i, your #1 supporter!! since you’re also part of the nug club gc from the beginning on, you have an extra special place in my heart <3 jj, i love how supportive you are and i don’t think you realize that i cherish you to the moon and back and that times 903809. i love how you get so fired up about your hockey team and like to gush and suffer from the wrath of Joshua hong and i hope you’ll stay eternally happy uwu that, and dRINK LESS COFFEE ISTG

@lxveille 💌 veille we’ve never interacted a lot but i just wanted to let you know that i admire you a LOT. i haven’t got around to read more of your works lately, but i do have a favorite fic that i still clearly remember. okay, that’s a lie, i have several that left a strong memory. but let’s say, if i had to reduce it to one fic, it’d be the 100wtsily dystopian au with jihoon and 66 & 70! you’re one of the very few writers who hit the dystopian genre spot on and you truly are an inspiration. seriously, thank you a lot veile xx

@middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich 💌 LOOK, i didn’t even know you changed blogs or something and i’m so eternally sorry that it took me ages to figure that out! (RIP me) you’re one of the first followers i had if i recall correctly (i’m pretty positive of that) and i just wanted to thank you for sticking with me so long uwuwuuwwu i wish you all the happiness bb <3

@multi-yeol 💌 haaaa we’ve only known each other since a day or something but i’m really glad we did!!!! honestly, that Loona song sorter is harder than any of the german exams i had and though we don’t know each other for so long, i hope we’ll talk more in the future bub!!!

@oatmealupdates 💌 lynna, you too are one of the first followers on my blog i’m wheEZING you’ve been here for so long sdlkjlkj thank you for your support and your comments under the fics always make my day i swear!! i’ve also noticed that you haven’t been that active as you used to be (maybe it’s just me idk sometimes my dash is kinda wacky) but all in all i hope you’re doing good!! if you ever need to talk to someone, you can always hmu <33

@queerjunhui 💌 vane, ngl, you really scared me at first. i was really intimidated by your for reasons i can’t even explain and i always thought you were out of my league sdkljlk i think we started talking since the cyzj thing and you’re one of the funniest and nicest people i’ve met so far on tumblr, seriously! your content - be it from your shitposts to mindless thoughts like the entire indirects to j*** * yES I STILL RECALL THEM - you always manage to make my day brighter whenever i see you on my dash. i wish you all the happiness and hope you’re doing good uwu

@seungcheolsbodyharness 💌 katey, sis i still think about that criminal seokmin and the entire au we made up - from FBI agent cheol to incompetent intern vernon and all that jazz. besides the fact that your url is a pure 10/10 as well as your other URLs, you’re such a nice person and i really enjoy your presence - be it in the form of reblogs of any kind of thing to the comments you occasionally leave and don’t get me started on the aSKS; katey, i’m so glad to have met you on this site!!! uwu

@softwonwoo 💌 jian darling!! honestly, i have no idea how you even know of my existence. just like pretty much everyone else i’ve tagged here you kinda had that intimidating aura?? but then the more i talked to you somehow, the more i was proven wrong and you’re such a sweet pea i can’t- also, i’m glad that i found someone who can agree with me when it comes to chungha dsakjlskj pls stay healthy, stay happy jian!!

@swyllh 💌 sara, i don’t think we have ever had a proper conversation, but i just wanted to give you my appreciation. you are one of the most underrated writers within the community yet you always give your best when it comes to your writing and honestly, i really admire you. i haven’t found the time to read your interactive fic yet (i keep pushing that back i am so sorry but i’ll get to that one day) and one of the fics that i absolutely adore is that one end of the world fic with chan, as well as the vernon collab with sha!! i really hope you’ll get the recognition and love you deserve you gifted writer !!

@tonicandjins 💌 faye my snowflake, i haven’t seen you around lately but if you read this, i hope everything’s alright from your side! i’m quite sure i’ve already mentioned this to you but i’ll say it again. i will NEVER shut up about one and two small petals and will NEVER recover from it. another banger is that wonwoo fic with the printer- ugh, you’re such a talented, beautiful person and i truly wish you all the best. remember, don’t stress yourself and relax once in a while uwu

@yeolsmiling 💌 angie hi!! i legit only sent you one (1) ask so i really don’t have much to say so far unless i wanna repeat myself lMAO one day, i aspire to purely emit soft energy for yeol but i doubt that day will ever come. i hope we get to talk more in the future you soft bear <33

honeybunch anon 💌 honeybunch, i hope you’re doing well! i still remember that i called you that when you slipped into my asks and gushed about that one mingyu fic up to this day i’m still flattered and eternally grateful that you’re still here uwu thank you for your support and making my day <33

fromis anon 💌 idk if you’ll ever read this but i miss you uwu i hope you’re doing fine and just a quick update from my side: i still haven’t found a bias yet uGH

sugarpie / tulip anon 💌 you seem like such a cool person i’m really glad you stopped by in my inbox thank you for hitting me up uwu since i have no clue who you are and since i’m a dumbass, i’m can only rely on you messaging me jslkdj

none of the letters are proofread i am so sorry

#i stayed away up until now to make this post #bc i know im gonna fall asleep straight after school oops #if u excuse me i'm going to bed now lkdslk #dara being dumb and dense #in other words: dara is currently mush with zero (0) brain cells and energy #it's 3 am and i gotta wake up in 3 hours pls #i have for sure forgotten someone ugh kms #softhaos antics

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haynr · 6 years ago

Text

all blog info below the cut,

apologies now to my mobile users

RULES

Before we interact you must…

have a properly displayed muse

have easily accessible posted information regarding your muse in a section or page

have easily accessible posted rules / guidelines in a section or page

for AU’s, you must have posted information regarding your muse within the fandom universe in its own section or page

make sure I am following you

cut threads

I Won’t

roleplay sex, generally. there may be a few exceptions, but keep the standard that i probably won’t. sexual content, perhaps, if all muns involved are over 18. If we do, it is with the understanding muses involved will be aged up appropriately.

tolerate any sexual advances toward myself ooc

roleplay inserts

always follow back, nor will I follow personals

tolerate pressuring, be it to rp in general or consistent pestering to answer threads

answer everything in my inbox. It’s not often I ignore asks, but I won’t answer something if it violates my rules. If I have difficulty answering something, I will privately message senders or make public inquires about anonymous messages.

follow everyone back / interact with everyone, even if you technically follow all my rules. i’m selective.

Please Don’t:

reblog meme asks. I don’t mind this so much, but it keeps things cleaner when they’re moved to a new post.

reblog inbox answers for non starter memes. examples would be mun opinions and the like but extend to headcanons and other writing. violators will be asked to delete the post and may be blocked.

reblog threads you are not a part of. warnings will be given to violating rp blogs, but personals will be instantly blocked.

reblog personal posts, especial images of myself. violators will be instantly blocked. this means anything tagged ooc.

force ships with me. I am a p easy going shipper, but I will be a bit more restrictive with Hayner. most of it has to do with his muse in general. he’s not thinking about romance atm. if it comes up in plot, great. if it doesn’t, you’re more than welcome to put it forward, but please do not expect me to go along with it. on that note, don’t expect me to always agree with your interpretations of my muse in ships. ideas and suggestions are fine, your own take is fine, but i cannot stress enough, please do not push hcs.

I am open to

multiple threads

duplicates of other muses (i do not rp duplicates of my own muse, but I usually have other muses in the fandom which I will be more than happy to interact with there, no twins etc)

shipping, though I will be highly selective, possibly exclusive. I will not instant ship, but I don’t mind developing our muses’ relationship privately over DMs.

mutli verse and/or polyshipping as befits all the muses and muns involved

rping toxic relationships of any sort, will be tagged accordingly and placed under cuts.

angst and/or triggering threads, though I would prefer to discuss the thread and tagging beforehand

crack threads

select AUs

ask/tagged initiated threads/starters but I ask for some warning if they are not from a meme or other prompt

responses of any length, so long as it is enough to reasonably work with for the pace of our thread

group threads

generally questionable plots. regardless of whether or not I approve of such practices ooc isn’t usually relevant. this is fictional, exploration of an idea– not a real-world execution of that idea. Feel free to DM for details.

Please Also Note:

I do not require length to be matched and may not always match partner’s length. I will respond as much as I feel I am able to or that I feel is necessary.

If my response is inadequate, difficult to respond to, or otherwise distasteful, FEEL FREE to ask me to redo my response.

Understand that my selectivity will depend on my comfort level and that I am not obligated to explain myself.

I tag all my threads as “thread”

I tag my partner’s url

if partner’s url changes, I will tag both old and new urls for the first response then only the new url going forward.

I generally tag triggers as “trigger tw”. same with general cw’s. i’m not the best with tagging, so let me know if I should watch for stuff in particular

my activity is generally a joke, but I’m constantly lurking, so feel free to drop a message

I am incredibly anxious. It doesn’t matter if we have late night conversations for like a month straight i will still be afraid to talk to you every. single. time. so always feel free to come whack me on the head or smth

while I can be very laid back / crack-ish, I do prefer to explore darker themes and my thread responses are much more serious than I come off as.

Blacklisted / Ask to Tag:

food

nsfw (for general safe scrolling, just let me know what your tag is since t simply wont show not safe for wombats content anymore)

“little space” related

“daddy,” “mommy,” etc

literally anything in this vein. in the vaguest, most removed sense. idc what you tag it. either let me know or just tag it “jade don’t look” whatever.

in fact feel free to tag any and all of these as just “jade don’t look” or some variant.

a/o/b related

anything pregnancy related

vivid depiction of sensory / memory alteration (particularly in images, but not excluded to)

unreality (also especially, but not limited to, images)

Of course I can’t require people tag these, but I will most likely not follow you if your post these regularly and do not have some warning which will be picked up by blacklist applications.

In regards to the sensory alteration, I mean things like seeing/hearing/etc things that aren’t there, mis-remembering or outright tampering with memory, etc. It’s kind of situation to situation on what gets me, but when it does it tends to hit me pretty hard. If you have any questions about it, fire away! [ example text post ]

On unreality, this somewhat relates to the above, I use this as a catch all phrase for images, vivid descriptions, and most especially videos/gifs of things that basically don’t behave or seem to behave as they should. Sometimes, I’ve seen these things tagged as “trippy” and the like, but they those posts tend to be too…idk how to put it. Extra? What tends to get me is when things are going fairly linear and then suddenly go for a loop. That’s not the greatest description, but here’s a few posts that have triggered me the worst that I’ve slowly gotten used to. There are also things which should seem fine or normal but aren’t. If anyone has a better description for this, by all means let me know! example posts [ one ] / [ two ] / [ three ] + a weird image that also gets me for some reason. hmvent is actually a blog I use to store things that trigger me so I can slowly get used to them or try and figure out what it is / why these things get to me.

META

Hayner is a young lad who resides in the sleepy Twilight Town. He is described as “impulsive and determined, and is always looking for a new adventure. He is bold to the point of recklessness…He gets bored easily during uneventful times… also easily angered/irked…thirsts for some kind of recognition…” During the events of KHII, he is 15, the same as Roxas/Sora. He has deep brown eyes, dirty blond hair and is a bit tall and, while still skinny, muscular for his age. He is the leader of his quartet trio including Pence, Olette and Roxas himself.

While he does have parents, he’s rather distant from them. While he does receive support from his folks, they were just never really there. Because of this, his loyalties lie greatly with his chosen family, his friends. He considers it his duty to help, lead and, if needed, protect them, even if he’d never admit as much even to himself. If any of his actions or ideas end up hurting someone he cares about, he takes it very much to heart, often beating himself up about it for weeks and weeks after.

Hayner, despite his hotheadedness and brashness, is a very observant leader. His tough guy act, while not entirely based on this, is partially to build himself up, make other less inclined to pick fights with him and his friends. Whether or not this works out, however, is certainly debatable. He also does his best to incorporate his friends’ wants and needs– or at least what he perceives these as– into his plans.

As oblivious as he may seem, he is quite mindful of the people around him. Whether it’s picking out the shady figure on that street corner or this one, or noticing some random kid’s not having a good day - he sees a lot of it, but often it doesn’t strike as a huge priority. He thinks things through a lot more than he’s credited for, but unfortunately, he doesn’t go through the whole process before starting his plan of action.

Hayner also isn’t exactly the most social person. He is outgoing and nice to people out of politeness and giving people the benefit of the doubt, but as a whole he’d much rather just stick with his friends. The only exception to this has been Sora, as he feels a “familiar vibe” about him, and therefore is also open to his circle of friends.

A couple more misc hcs below:

Is a very exceptional swordsman (at least with the training swords). However, his skills do not seem as outstanding compared to that of Roxas and other more major characters.

As much as he hates school, his best subject science. And although one would think he’d be a good athlete because he is competitive, he actually doesn’t have good PE grades because he doesn’t try if he doesn’t have to. The only way to get him to really participate is to make it a competition.

MORE WILL BE ADDED MARCH, 2019 TO INCLUDE SPOILERS FOR KH3

AU Info will be added shortly.

#mobile rules #about blog #psa

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thatfuzzyfamiliarspace · 2 years ago

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I had a fleeting thought and its just gone. I’m trying to write things down but things will rush through, injure me and I’m left just sitting here like “wtf was that?”

Currently, I’m thinking that I shouldn't feel inadequate for him. I shouldn’t be this low all the time. God I’m getting angry and emotional. There’s such a huge part of me that wants to relapse and spiral. He says about all this progress I’ve made yet some of my lowest points was this year.

I’d never, ever cut myself before. That happened this year because I fucked up with her. I got so close to ending everything that I transferred all my savings to my nieces and nephews bonds. How is that progress. I’ve been so low so many times.

God it angered me how he thought I just “live in the moment” like its a bad thing ??? I DONT THINK I’LL MAKE IT PASSED 27 FFS. Of course I wanna do everything while I’m young. I dont feel like I have much time left. I never fucking thought I’d get this far, so why expect me to have a plan for the long term future?!?! Its a miracle I’m here rn. And thats only because of Thelo. He gave me a reason to live. That all stopped as soon as he told me he didnt think he could look after me anymore. He was perfect for me. and even then after 6 years I was too much. Jordan says he can handle me, he can help. But what if the same thing just happens years down the line. I dont wanna be hanging on to life, living in a slow lane for everything to crumble all over again. I just wanna be happy now. I wanna live now. I wanna live in the bliss of every moment I can while I can. I dont want to injure the pain for years on end. I dont want to have to fight and battle to get better everyday. I’m tired. I just want to be happy. I’m not happy enough. And maybe I don’t deserve it. But fuck it I want it. I’m so done with trying to be better. I want to indulge in all the darkness. I wanna sabotage myself. I wanna do so much that its overwhelming. I can;t be in a limbo. I’ve never been able to be in between about anything. Its always been extremes. I’m either gonna be happy as I can be or I’m gonna put myself 6 feet under. I wanna do everything I should to feel good and I wanna let it make me feel good. I wanna keep doing it till it starts to degrade me. I wanna waste away feeling good.

I can never voice it tho. Because “its wrong”. Well i dont wanna be right. Maybe this is all word vomit because I feel like I’m spiraling.

God I’m so angry. I’m angry at him for beating me down so much last night. Then not rectifying it. Just leaving me to sit with the feeling all day. He’s made me feel worthless. He says he doesnt play mind games but it feels utterly abusive to knock me down then to try make me feel good after. Why tf do you have to knock me down. I do it myself enough. I feel like shit far too often for the person I’m with to do it as well. How tf do I say this tho. Even typing this I feel a lump in my throat. God I’m so angry, at him ? at life? fuck knows. I just wanna do bad shit. IDC that he’s told me not to. Why should I listen. This is the bad voices Georgia. He would tell you to not listen to them. I dont want to, but I do. Fuck. I feel so torn. Its liek I start to feel one way and I get tunnel vision and block out everything, then theres this other me that remembers what he says.

Idk what to do. I feel alone again. I want Thelo. Its making me feel guilty. I’m angry at Jordan and I’m unsure if thats justified. I dont feel well. I wanna make it all stop. Even for a moment. Idk what to do

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exid-though · 7 years ago

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An ask turned into an essay/presentation and I’m hoping MBTI blogs don’t block me for this here’s EXID’s possible MBTI types!

Before anyone who actually knows about MBTI types more in depth jumps on me for how poorly done this is, I’d like to request you do better. That sounds hella sarcastic but like legit I’m curious about what someone else would think about this especially someone who knows a lot bit more so like actually correct me on something or give your opinion like fr I’d enjoy it. I don’t word things well, I don’t say things well. But like?? power through? you can figure it out it’s not a puzzle it’s just poorly written so play English teacher and work through it.

Solji- ESTJ

The first thing that we (we being @lencoexid and I thank you for helping me/co writing this basically) decided was that Solji has a higher Te (look at me picking up the lingo?). The girl was voted the scariest member just because she’s very about her business I guess you could say? That’s not the best way to put it but anyway, she comes off as “scary” because she’s very quick to remind the girls that she’s not only the leader but also the oldest and she knows best, not because she’s actually being mean or anything but just because she wants to help and keep them doing what they’re supposed to be doing. But also Jeonghwa helps. She’s later. Anyway.

One website says

“Dominant Te types may come across as bossy or know-it-all-ish, even when they genuinely mean well.“

and another says:

“Te involves the outward expression of rational judgments and opinions; TJs literally think (i.e., make judgments, conclusions, and decisions) aloud. Te is more fact-oriented than Ti is. STJs, in particular, see the world as composed of discrete, black-and-white parts. This allows them to institute clear definitions, objective standards, and measurable goals. While Ti is forever backtracking to question and clarify underlying ideas and assumptions, Te is more positivistic and forward-moving, working to improve definitions, plans, policies, classifications, procedures, etc. It carefully spells out how to get from here to there, using as many maps, labels, and instructions as necessary.”

Solji is very sweet of course we love her whatever but she also comes across as bossy sometimes and as lenco pointed out, even Heeyeon said she also likes to do things her own way. She made Jeonghwa mad in that infamous Showtime fight because she kept teasing Jeonghwa about how slow she was washing the food and telling her to do it faster. She, like the true mom of EXID that she is, took the knife from her and showed her how to cut the food faster, too. Like literally just showed her “you can cut two at a time, see?” and Jjong was just like -_-. To Solji, this wasn’t being bossy or anything, she just had a better way to do it that was more efficient and she wanted to show her younger friend who was wasting time, but Jeonghwa was young and sensitive so she got angry lmao

Then we had to decide if she was more of a secondary Si user or Ni and Si seems to fit better.

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.” ISJs may also fail to notice external details to the degree exhibited among ESPs. Unlike SPs, who are oriented to the present moment and the current trends, SJs rely on information from the past to inform the present. They grow attached to past ways of doing things, compelling them to conserve and protect traditions or conventions. Because of their concern for the remembered past, Si might be considered more abstract and less concrete than Se is.”

Solji also has moments where she goes on about things and she gets very excited when thinking about possibilities of what she could be doing, even when it’s small and just a game EXID are playing, she really seems to enjoy banter and clever thinking like an Ne might?

“When orating, NPs may not always seem to “have a point” as they haphazardly move from one idea to the next. Ne is more divergent and expansive in nature than its introverted cousin, Ni. NPs feel compelled to outwardly explore all the options and possibilities, making it difficult for them to draw firm conclusions or make confident decisions.”

In romantic relationships, Solji says she actually prefers someone who will lead her and someone who’s cold on the outside and warm on the inside. If that means anything to you mbti smart people.

"I like the manly types. Rather than a man who affectionately takes care of me well, I like the type who will lead me."

"You must like the 'tsundere (cold on the outside, soft on the inside)' types. A blood type-B man (stereotyped to be coarse and bad-tempered)." Solji said that was correct.

LE - ISFP

This woman... her and Solji. Elly is almost definitely an IXXP to me because idk just her general self. She’s very “free” ig, she doesn’t like schedules, she likes to do whatever more on a whim but less so than Hyelin I think. But she has said specifically that she doesn’t like to go by schedules and prefers to be more in the moment.

She has multiple interests but she only goes into them a little bit? The members said (on NCT night night I believe there is a thing in my drafts anyway also it was technically 2 votes for Elly and 2 votes for Heeyeon actually) that she knows a lot and it’s almost weird that she knows the things she knows and Jeonghwa explained that Elly knows about a lot but she knows things in the way that she “knows a little about everything” so like she’s smart in the way that she has a broad range of general/fundamental knowledge on random things. Jeonghwa also said she’s the type that keeps up with trends like in fashion and also just regular trends like slang and other internet things. She’s into fashion. She isn’t the most empathetic member but she did once say that when she isn’t writing songs about her own experience she’s writing about others so that might be something? She’s very blunt and she thinks it’s easier and better to just be open about what you’re thinking and feeling so time isn’t wasted.

“I hate complicated things. That's such a waste of time."When asked what kind of love she wants to try, LE said, "A both placid and raging love," then added to everyone's amusement, "I like skinship,"

then she also said:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had a boyfriend so I can’t remember, but I don’t get nervous around guys that I like. I like to play hard to get and make them chase me instead. That makes me feel a sense of achievement.”

I think she’s more Se than Si because she definitely seems to be more of an outward sensations type of person, with trends and fashion yeah but also she said she likes skinship and she’s pretty physical even if she’s not athletic. Like she doesn’t like working out but she likes the idea of extreme sports (note the “idea of” part lmao thank you @lencoexid) she likes video games, she likes to think about the way things physically feel like she’s a very Se person to me.

I was having a hard time figuring out if she was more Fi or Ti but we do really think that she’s more Fi after thinking about how she is towards her friends and her relationships more. Ti would be too logical in her judgements of things and she seems more like a feeler when it comes to things around her. SO I’m going with ISFP.

Hani - INTJ

idc what anyone says (I say that now but like it’s so easy to change my mind you could literally just be like “well what if Hani is this because of this” and I’ll be like shoot you’re right) but anyway I could see Heeyeon being a dominant Ni user and also she’s not an extrovert like Heeyeon would be the last member I’d believe is an extrovert I’m serious e to i in EXID goes Jeonghwa/Solji/Hyelin>LE>Hani don’t argue with me. Or do idc but like I’m not wrong on Jeonghwa and Heeyeon. (like I once saw someone call Ahn Heeyeon an ENFP? nahh) but also idk

I think she shows more of a Te then Fi than the opposite (Fe then Ti) so I’m going with INTJ I think.

Anyway, Heeyeon is super logical and detailed. Think about what made EXID so famous in the first place, Heeyeon literally taking actual written notes of what exact angles make her look best while performing. Her selfies are really popular (because she’s gorgeous?duh) and when she talks about her selfies she says they’re great because she took note of how she looks prettiest when her head is tilted at a 45 degree angle. Who measures that? Who? Nerds. That’s who. Hot nerds. Nerds trying to make sure their popularity stays up and they have no weaknesses. Scary hot nerds.

She takes notes in her notebook (which they all call her death note) of like everything she possibly can? Her calories, her workouts, any new findings in her selfie angles, and when people make her angry. She literally writes down the date and what they did and everything. She’s like the scary anime kid that comes out of the shadows and pushes their glasses up and says something weird then writes in their notebook. Kyoya Ootori she’s Kyoya from Ouran High School Host Club. My husband and my wife I have a type.

But then here’s the thing, she also really feels the need to have people like her? Like she used to diet and gain and lose weight (she’s not anymore thank God) and she got in trouble and was criticized by netizens for “just saying what she thinks will make people happy in that moment” which is honestly pretty true but I think it might’ve only really been true for that time. That was back when she had just gotten popular and she was still getting used to it and she was on so many shows right after doing nothing but eating ramen all day basically so I honestly think she could’ve just been worried about EXID’s fame and her image and everything because lately especially now she’s more like she was back when they were promoting Every Night like she’s very openly braggy and less anxious so I think it could’ve just been a stress and anxiety thing? Because now especially with the other girls she seems much more open about the other sides to her personality so I still think she could be an Fi not an Fe.

She also said when talking about what she’s like in love and all:

“I would say I’m a stronger type. I have charisma. I hear that a lot actually haha.”

She also seems more Se than Si but I can’t place exactly why. @fizzybubblespop also said that they’d say she was an INFJ but she seems so “present” that having Se as her last function doesn’t seem right.

I kinda agree but I also think it makes sense since she is a bit wired and outward and everything but she’s much more of a person who needs to sit and think about things a bit, spacing out sometimes and stuff. I could see Se over Si for sure but like lower than things like Ni and Te to me.

Hyelin - ESTP or ESXP

Hyelini hea lini hey lini hey jenny idk umm I think she has a higher F something and she’s a perceiver but I’m not sure on much else. She’s probably an extrovert to me but I also could possibly see her as a social introvert? She said on Showtime that after spending a lot of time with people she needs to spend time alone to relax for a few hours. But @lencoexid did point out that it’s more likely that it’s her attention shifting and her getting bored or tired of that situation and wanting something else.

I had never even thought of Hyelin as an ESFP before until lencoexid brought it up and I was like hmm? and when you think about it it could actually work well.

So, ESFP starts with Se, the extroverted sensing function. On this website they explained Se like this:

“Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.”

Hyelin is someone who is a regular at bars and actually said she drinks for the feeling of being drunk. She said she doesn’t see the point of drinking if you’re not going to get drunk. She also traveled all the way to Jeonju randomly just to go to a specific restaurant there that she likes.

The problem here though comes when you get to the 2nd function which is Fi. To me, she seems more Fe. She had a secret job when EXID was broke, she was actually kinda uncomfortable when Solji and Jeonghwa had that argument in Showtime and she tried to make jokes about it and diffuse the situation it seemed.

She said when she’s in a relationship:

“I am really the submissive type, when I am in the wrong I bow down to my boyfriend and apologize right away, (hehe) but when I know that he is lying then I become more of a strong unni style.”

And so she seems pretty Fe when I think about it compared to Fi, she seems more about group harmony than her own inner feelings even if she is blunt and everything, at the end of the day she has many friends who all are very different (Shinsadong Tiger said in an interview once that Hyelin is friends with everyone and is even friends with a politician), she works to keep her friendships with people from her childhood and she doesn’t like when things mess with that. Remember when she just grabbed a mic and said “Minhyuk and I aren’t dating” because she wanted to end rumors before they got big? She’s very blunt and “crazy” and wild and she’s very into being the humorous one of the group that makes everyone laugh but she’s also very open and straight-forward when she doesn’t like something or when something is messing with the dynamic, you know?

Now, ESTP has Se>Ti>Fe>Ni and lencoexid and I both agree that between the two, Hyelin seems more Ti than Te (Te is more Solji’s thing lbr).

Jeonghwa - ISFJ or XSFJ

I think she has high Fe and probably dominant Fe because the girls are always saying she’s so empathetic and she’s so good at relating to people’s feelings, etc. Heeyeon said she was jealous of how empathetic Jeonghwa is, when Heeyeon was trying to explain herself Jeonghwa jumped in and helped her out (I can’t remember what it was but it was on a radio show and she kinda explained for Heeyeon), she’s very open about how she feels about things and what she thinks of things (all of EXID are pretty blunt but especially Hyelin>LE>Jeonghwa), she’s also the one that takes charge even though she’s the youngest to try to keep things under control just a little but she’s still kinda sensitive? She also likes planning things and sticking to a schedule as she said on NCT night night, her and Heeyeon like sticking to plans and Elly and and Hyelin like to go with the flow. And with ISFJ and ESFJ Si is high (1st or 2nd) and this website says this about higher Si users:

“SJs do not venture out seeking novel sensations, experiences, or material goods. Instead, they prefer a more routinized and predictable lifestyle, functioning more as “homebodies.””

Then it says this about high Fe users:

“FJs, especially EFJs, are quick to outwardly express their feelings, opinions, and grievances. Fe plays a prominent role in attuning to and empathizing with others’ emotions. It allows FJs to recreate another’s emotion state within themselves, allowing them to literally feel what the other person is feeling. FJs also work to meet others’ needs and to maintain harmony in the external environment. They ensure that everyone is getting along and is well cared for. At the same time, since Fe is an Extraverted Judging function, there are times when FJs are compelled to sacrifice external harmony for the sake of asserting their judgments. FJs also enjoy giving counsel and advice, especially with regard to people-related matters.“

She’s the most social and empathetic but she also prefers staying at her house and reading and her favorite author is Alain de Botton (which I think she said on Weekly Idol?) and that guy is a philosopher.

“de Botton deals with the process of falling in and out of love. De Botton wrote a sequel to Essays in Love, published in 2016, titled The Course of Love.”

“In The Consolations of Philosophy, de Botton attempts to demonstrate how the teachings of philosophers such as Epicurus, Montaigne, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Seneca, and Socrates can be applied to modern everyday woes. The book has been both praised and criticized for its therapeutic approach to philosophy.”

In The Architecture of Happiness[11] (2006), he discusses the nature of beauty in architecture and how it is related to the well-being and general contentment of the individual and society. He describes how architecture affects people every day, though people rarely pay particular attention to it. A good portion of the book discusses how human personality traits are reflected in architecture.

etc.

So this girl loves people, is social, also prefers to stay in and read (philosophy), is empathetic, blunt, likes schedules, mischievous, studies English and Chinese just cause she wants to improve in those things (she’s also an idol so there is a bit of a responsibility to do that but she doesn’t have to), etc. Like. Someone who knows MBTI well come type her instead cause idk. To me she’s either ISFJ or ESFJ and she seems more extroverted to me it just seems like she’s got a higher Fe than Si and so on than the other way around, but I think that’s more up to just how you perceive her I mean she is an idol and I forget a lot so ISFJ or ESFJ.

I’ve learned a lot. Thank you for your time. Also Solji’s was the hardest and the mystery woman needs to come back so we can look into this more, agreed? Agreed. @solji when did you become so hard to figure out you’re louder than Jeonghwa sometimes

#but it'd be better if someone who actually knows more on this stuff did this #it was just an ask that turned into an essay that isn't that great but is decent enough ig #if you think so #could be better worded but I'm not a writer #**clearly**#lencoexid helped a lot though #so thank you #Solji's is the one I'm less sure on like idk why but the others I see a lot more #but ik this isn't well done but like here's my (and lencoexids) opinions?#should I make little edits #I'm bad at that stuff so like I shouldn't but I kinda want to now that it's in my head #it's lencos fault #maybe i should #they'd be kinda ugly but like maybe I should just for fun #I'm bored and it'd be something to do #exid

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lovingly-lightbulbs · 3 years ago

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Vent, read it if you want idc

There WILL be triggering shit in here about alcohol and fights and pressure and mental health so be warned. Also don’t talk to me about this or rb it or I’ll block you even irl friends. Actually irl friends don’t read this please

Background: I was at a family friends house (basically real family), adults were drunk, cousins friend got real drunk, bonked head on concrete, started to wanna fight everyone (uncles and my dad and one of his other friends mostly but he put his hands on my mom and aunt), cousin got real pissed, he’s been through a lot to say the least, my sister and other cousin (all teenage girl) had to distract him (early 20s) and hold him back (we were inside but we could see everything through a glass door). Me & sis & cousin left to go to my house (mom brought us home, dad stayed), my mom said she would be back with dad soon but it’s been a while and hey still ain’t back

Vent here

I care about that boy (20s cousin) too fucking much for him to be doing this shit. He’s been through too much to be doing this shit. He’s too drunk and angry he needs help and everyone knows it I’m gonna fucking fight him. The parents have it handled and he doesn’t need to be worrying us like that. I know I say I would only kill for my baby brother but I would fight and kill god myself to protect him. And lordthis made me so worried about everyone, checking on my brother in the backseat of the car, i didn’t deal with this bullshit when I was his age why does he have this. We were poor but I didn’t get cussed out and hit by my dad. Thank god he slept through it all. I’m mostly I’ve rit now but I don’t want to be because this is the most emotion I’ve felt in a while and I have to hurt myself to feel anything nowadays and I don’t want it to end. I want to be alive right now for all the wrong reasons. I’m trying to hold on but it’s slipping through my fingers. How are sis and cuz taking it so well. I have to be angry for everyone else to make up for their nonchalance. I hope everything is all right I hope my older cousin is okay and he hasn’t done any stupid shit he’ll regret. I hope his friend got home all right. He’s lost a couple friends this way and I want everyone except me to be alright. The cat peed in the house and my parents will be pissed but I can’t don’t do anything about it rn. Am I having a mental health crisis or am I just being a bitchbaby who can’t handle her shit. I don’t even feel anything anymore just traces of it and I’d like to die but I don’t want to I don’t feel anything and I’m trying to remember but I’ll be damned if my breaking brain does anything good for me. If I have a chance to kill myself and I don’t I’ll regret it one day I’m sure of it I’ll be dead by the end of the year. Why am I talking about myself like the selfish bitch I am Th is is why I can’t don’t wanna get help. I need to die but I only know it don’t feel it it’s a fact not an opinion because I can’t feel anything right now. My parents still aren’t home. I’m going to fight that guy who caused all this if all hell breaks loose my brother can’t see this he can’t know he’s just a little kid he’s been through too much already. Why do my parents do this shit to him. I should’ve fought to not come home. I should’ve jumped out the car and killed myself. Why can’t I rant anymore there’s so much to say I don’t remember it I fucking hate myself but I can’t feel it I need to die I’m feeling a little emotion now finally but for myself and I hate that.

#irls dni #do not rb #kaleidoscopic-something

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ihateeveryoneincludingmyself · 4 years ago

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i don’t think anyone I know irl has my tumblr so I’m just gonna vent here.

so in May I met this girl on tinder, and we hit it off super fast and we talked nonstop it was honestly pretty overwhelming because I didn’t remember what it was like to have someone into me. she was trying to move very quickly and I’m very emotionally unavailable so I didn’t want to get into a relationship with her.

we remained friends. super good friends. she even considered me her best friend which I didn’t even know she felt that strongly until we started to fight. thought I was just some dude she talked to when she wasn’t hanging out with her irl friends.

our first fight happened when I realized how deeply she’s into the awful college student drinking partying culture. to be clear because this is something she doesn’t fucking understand, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF. okay so here’s why I’m extra sensitive about this topic. my parents were alcoholics. also did heroin n shit but yeah I wasn’t allowed to live with them. and every time I see someone fucking wasted, it reminds me of them. i remember my grandpa taking me to restaurants to visit my parents and by the time we finished eating they were drunk. couldn’t even talk to them as a little kid. I lost my childhood due to alcoholism. i know this girl is just a college student partying blah blah blah but it can lead to worse and like.... seriously who the fuck wants to talk to someone who can’t even produce sentences? when you’re that intoxicated it’s simply not healthy even if I didn’t have trauma related to alcohol I would probably still be concerned. anyways, I progressively got more angry with her. i said a lot of things I shouldn’t have . i tore her apart in response to my anger. i hate myself for the way I treated her, but GUESS WHAT? she still doesn’t listen to me. still regularly getting wasted and it fucjing pisses me off because she goes around telling people that I don’t let her DRINK. LIKE SHES MISSING THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT!! IM GOING TO COPY AND PASTE EXACTLY WHAT I SAID BEFORE I GOT INTO DETAIL ABOUT THIS: I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH DRINKING! I DRINK, EVERYBODY I KNOW DRINKS!! but every week sometimes multiple times a week she would drunk text me random stupid shit like she couldn’t even spell properly and like she doesn’t remember shit in the morning you know like, actually fucking drunk. i can’t stand how people think that’s normal or okay. if you can’t control your drinking then don’t drink. if you can control, then have a couple drinks! enjoy yourself! BUT THERES A POINT WHERE YOU ARE DESTROYING YOURSELF.

anyways, now as I said she still fucking gets wasted all the time,BUT SHE DOESNT TALK TO ME. but she posts about it on her Instagram story (which I’m blocked from seeing but.... I have my ways🤷🏻), she talks to other people JUST NOT ME. THAT WASNT MY FUCKING INTENTION WITH MY SERIES OF INTERVENTIONS. I WANTED HER TO BECOME MORE RESPONSIBLE WITH ALCOHOL? AND THEN SHE CAN ENJOY A DRINK AND STILL TALK LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING. GOD IT MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY TO KNOW THAT SHES STILL BEING WHAT I LIKE TO CALL A GLORIFIED ALCOHOLIC, BUT SHE JUST DOESNT DRUNK TEXT ME ANYMORE.

ooh then another fight.... I was venting to an NOW EX FRIEND FUCK THAT BITCH SHE BOILS MY BLOOD JUST THINKING ABOUT HER of mine ..... AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER GOD I FUCKING HATE HER FOR WHAT SHE DID.... DECIDED TO SNITCH ON ME AND MESSAGE THE GIRL AND TELL HER THAT I WAS VENTING. AND SHE MISINTERPRETED AS ME “TALKING SHIT” WHEN I NEVER EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT HER IN A NEGATIVE LIGHT. SOME PPL SAID “SHES TOXIC” I ALWAYS FUCKING DEFENDED HER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH WE WERE FIGHTING I STILL ADORED HER. so yeah that put even more tension on our friendship. AND I DROPPED THE SNITCH GIRL RIGHT AWAY, I WILL NEVER FUCKING FORGIVE HER BECAUSE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH THE GIRL COULDVE BEEN SAVED IF IT WASNT FOR HER. FUCK HER. I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH AND NOW THEYRE FRIENDS AND COMMENT ON EACHOTHERS POSTS AND IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH.

anyways, like I mentioned I said a lot of terrible things to her. i was really fucking angry and I said some terrible things which I deeply regret and I tried apologizing and making it up but now already our friendship was messed up.

also, she eventually ended up getting a boyfriend and like, if I said I wasn’t a little jealous I’d be lying but I was the one who rejected her in the first place so 😳😳it’s whatever. but she told her boyfriend everything about me and this guy now hates my guts LOL . ever since she started dating the guy she talked to me less and less.

and during a short period of time when we weren’t fighting I introduced her to a friend of mine and now they talk a lot and she likes him more so YES IM FUCKING JEALOUS AND I FUCKING HATE MYSELF.

but this friend of mine she started talking to leads me to my breaking point. so you know she’s been distant because apparently every time we talk it’s a fight but I’m like BUT WHY?? and this next fight will show exactly how ITS NOT ALL MY FAULT, SHES TO FUCKING BLAME AS WELL!!

so she’s been ignoring me for a couple days after a PETTY FIGHT THAT I FELT WAS LITERALLY NOTHING JUST A SILLY LITTLE FIGHT THAT IDC ABOUT. basically she got mad because I was bullying that friend of mine about his league of legends stats 🤣 literally a fucking video game that she doesn’t like and she’s mad at me for TEASING MY FRIEND.

so I got kinda sad.... like why is she ignoring me??

she eventually responded after I sent her a looong paragraph with some identifying info so I’m not gonna show it. BUT HERES WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT HOW SHE ISNT GONNA TALK TO ME WHILE SHES GETTING DRUNK !!

okay the next screenshot has more identifying details so I’m not gonna share but basically she LIED TO ME SAYING SHE HAD NO SERVICE FOR 3 WHOLE DAYS BLAH BLAH BLAH WHILE I COULD GET PROOF THAT SHE WAS TEXTING MY FRIEND LIKE EVERY CHANCE SHE GOT . HE TOLD ME THEY STILL TALKED AND SHE WAS PURPOSELY IGNORING ME BC IM TOO STRESSFUL FOR WHATEVER. BUT SHE FUCKING LIED ABOUT IT

so basically, here’s how it’s not just my fault . yes, getting angry is my fault I could be a little less harsh. im working on it. BUT THIS GIRL HAS BEEN IGNORING ME FOR DAYS AND THEN LIES TO ME?? COME ON ISNT THAT A VALID REASON TO BE UPSET

anyways this is the last thing I sent her before deactivating my Instagram (I have her number too but we rarely talk on there). but the fact that she said we aren’t friends anymore.... broke my fucking heart. I broke down in tears. I had to stop myself from hurting myself or saying something dumb. so I ended it there.

i tried to hard to fix what we once had. yes, I’m at fault for being a dick and not being able to control my anger. but she’s at some fault for giving me valid reasons to be upset. i tried to hard to fix our friendship. but the more I try the more angry I get. she isn’t going to listen to me. she doesn’t even care about me anymore. it’s over.

ive been pretty suicidal lately. a few months ago I started cutting myself again after years and I hate myself for it. i pushed everybody away. she was the last person I regularly talked to. maybe now I can take a break from the fighting, try to get to a better place mentally, and try to get back in touch with some of my other friends, or make new friends.

idk I’m still very upset but this long ass vent that no one is gonna read helped a lot. this all happened over a few months and today was where I ended it. time to start a new chapter I guess

#vent #i have no friends #im a terrible person

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naruot · 7 years ago

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Sasuke does love sakura why do you think he doesn't?

You know what? I’m tired of this whole “sasuke loves sakura” thing

There relationship is one sided

Yes sakura loves sasuke (even though her love is selfish) however sasuke doesn’t love her and you know what? I dare pro-SShippers to go and comment under this post and prove to me that sasuke ‘loves’ sakura

however before you do that I have a few things to say

first don’t be disrespectful I get triggered real quick when it comes to disrespectful people

you can say whatever you want about the fictional characters you can even trash them Idc they are not real but don’t be rude to me or others then I’ll block you real quick

Second you can’t use ANY of these reasons on why sasuke loves sakura because I’m gonna break them down and show you why these reason don’t actually prove that sasuke loves her

First agrument SShippers love to use to show how sasuke loves sakura

THE CHUNIN EXAMS:

Sasuke didn’t love sakura just because he saved her that’s a weak ass agrument and if that’s the case doesn’t sasuke love Karin also? He saved her against that bear during the chunin exams! Or what about naruto? He saved naruto countless of times in part one so sasuke is in love with naruto also?

Sasuke also saves Karin while they were trying to get the 8 tails so did he love Karin then?

Another thing I want to point out is that the reason sasuke saved sakura is because there teammates sasuke is not this horrible person a lot of people try to paint him as

he wouldn’t just let his teammate die! to be honest anyone could’ve been in sakura place as sasuke’s teammate and he would’ve save them also (ino, choji, hinata, tenten, kiba, shikamaru etc.) it’s not because he loves her it’s because she was in danger and sasuke is not a bad guy

During the chunin exams sasuke does CARE for sakura but he doesn’t love her there is a difference

THE WAR ARC(when sasuke put sakura in the genjutsu instead of killing her):

Sasuke not killing sakura (IN THIS PART ONLY!!!!) just proves how much he doesn’t care for her because at that time sasuke was trying to kill anyone that he had a bond with that’s why he was trying to kill naruto

He even says that naruto is standing in his way to be truly alone he didn’t say naruto AND sakura

And the only reason he put her in that genjutsu is because he knew her dumbass would try to get in the middle of the fight to try to stop them! if it wasn’t for that sasuke wouldn’t even pay her any mind

THE FOREHEAD POKE:

In the manga/anime there is a part when sasuke asks itachi what the head poke meant and itachi says that it was his way of treating sasuke as little kid that was his way of saying he has no time for sasuke the forehead poke also represents that itachi doesn’t see sasuke as his equal but more so as a child

So sasuke knowing ALL of this still would poke sakura on the head to show he loves her? I doubt it! The forehead poke shows that he has no time for sakura and that he doesn’t see her as his equal he sees her as a child

If sasuke bumped sakura and his foreheads together like itachi did to him to show that there now equals then I wouldn’t dnt mind that to be a sign of affection because that would mean he at least sees her as his equals but he doesn’t do that

And some SS-stans like to say that sasuke changed the meaning of the forehead poke and that’s a head canon at best!

when is it ever implied that sasuke changed the meaning of it? You can’t just pull stuff out of thin air to make your ship look better it doesn’t work that way

Also he doesn’t even poke her forehead anymore! When sakura was giving sasuke his bento box she leans for a kiss he just pokes sadara head and gives sadara a hug and basically ignores sakura

SASUKE REDEMPTION JOURNEY:

A lot of SShippers try to use sasuke redemption journey as an excuse on why he loves his family and doesn’t want them to die and blah blah blah

However sasuke decided to travel the world and see the shinobi world for himself before he got sakura pregnant, before they were even together! so that doesn’t make sense

Sasuke already planned to leave the village to make up for all his mistakes (however sasuke barely made any mistakes he was right about the horrible shinobi system he should’ve never let naruto TNJ him) he made that decision for himself not for sakura and not for sadara who wasn’t even born then

don’t try to pin everything sasuke does on his family he seems more worried about naruto getting stabbed then his own wife going into another dimension so I doubt he’s really that stressed about his family

SASUKE CALLING SAKURA HIS WIFE:

Just because sasuke called sakura his wife doesn’t mean he loves her a lot of people are in loveless marriages right now but they still have a wife

Also saying you have a wife is one thing but ACTING like you have a wife is another

GAIDEN:

At the end when sasuke says that his and sakura’s hearts are connected because of sadara just hurt SS so bad!!! It’s not a good look for there marriage no matter how you try to spin it

he’s not saying he loves sakura he’s saying the reason they are together is because of sadara

Sadara is the glue that holds her parents together if she wasn’t around then there hearts would not be connected

Also I found it really interesting that sasuke answered sadara question that way because all sasuke had to say was that there hearts are truly connected because they love each other and he loves sadara

But he didn’t say that because sasuke doesn’t love sakura the reason he’s even with her is there child! And he doesn’t even live with them! he doesn’t even contact his own family however he contacts naruto any chance he gets

He doesn’t even tell naruto to say hi to his family in those letters he writes him, it’s like he wants nothing to do with them at all

Another thing I want to point out is that sasuke has NEVER once said he loves sakura

He never told her how important she is to him (he always talked about his bound with naruto) the only good thing he has ever said about her is that she’s not a weak women and it’s true she’s not weak but that’s not a deceleration of love!

When he met Karin he called Karin the strongest kunoichi that doesn’t mean he loved her! He just complimented her

A compliment isn’t a sign of love sorry you can point out someone is strong and not love them your just stating facts that’s it! and it’s a fact that sakura is not weak

Also having sex with someone doesn’t mean that person loves them!!!! There is a such thing called casual sex, people have casual sex ALL the time He just wanted a nut and sakura was the idiot that let him nut in her

Nothing has ever convinced me that sasuke loved sakura and I doubt that anything anyone else says will show me otherwise

And the thing is I don’t care if people ship SS but some shippers really get mad if you point out the flaws in the relationship like you have a right to ship what you want and I have a right to say why the relationship isn’t healthy

I don’t have a problem with people who ship SS and know there are flaws in the relationship but still like sasusaku anyways there not delusional

however it’s these SS-stans that think the relationship is so perfect and if you try to disagree they want you to go kill yourself

And it’s so funny to me how people self insert themselves into these characters so bad that they would rather you to slit your own wrist then have you say something bad about there fav FICTIONAL character and it’s disgusting

And it’s not only SS-stans who do this NH and ST die hard stans do it to and its weird to me Thanks for the ask 🔱

(Sorry this ask got super long the fandom has been pissing me off lately)

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