#if you did you're very sexy we should make out

[taasgirl]

i like me better - franco colapinto

summary: franco and driver!reader seem to be getting closer, through their shared social media interaction. once y/n gets her first fp1 drive, everything falls into place.

a/n: everything is fictional, and there is no face claim! enjoy :)

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 563, 982 others ynusername trading four wheels for two this weekend 😉

mercedesamgf1 Please get off the bike y/n

lilymhe IS THAT A BABY Y/N PIC I SEE

ynusername hehe maybe

landonorris I know toto died seeing you post this liked by ynusername

motogp Fancy a weekend with us?

ynusername OH MY GOD I THOUGH YOU'D NEVER ASK team_toto_wolff No Y/n.

lewishamilton 🩷

ynusername hey dad!

liked by francolapinto, oscarpiastri, and 3, 872, 440 others landonorris Summer break you will be missed

danielricciardo Mate you're so ugly

landonorris Smd old man

mclaren Pls tell us that you didn't actually go dirt biking

landonorris Don't worry I was with y/n mclaren That makes it worse

ynusername I'm on a mission to take the whole grid on a dirt biking adventure, who's next bitchessss

francolapinto Me me me I volunteer landonorris Someone's eager 😏

view ynusername's story...

caption: track limits at turn 7 stewards go get their asses

liked by francolapinto, lewishamilton, and 711, 923 others ynusername excited to take lewis' car out for a spin in fp1 #justiceforreservedrivers

lewishamilton Don't pull a Kimi

kimi.antonelli What the hell Lewis

landonorris awww baby y/n

landonorris Still hasn't achieved her goals of racing in f1 hehe ynusername just for that i'm running u off track tomorrow xx

francolapinto Congratulations Y/N! I'm excited to see you out there

ynusername thanks franco!!

patriciooward I agree #justiceforreservedrivers liked by ynusername

liked by ynusername, lewishamilton, and 5, 720, 816 others mercedesamgf1 Celebratory hugs between Y/N and Lewis following Y/N's superb FP1 drive!

tagged: ynusername & lewishamilton

ynusername Maybe like I can replace the dinosaur or something aha...

francolapinto My favourite driver as a child and my favourite driver as an adult together 🤗

ynusername wow thank you franco! landonorris Boy you are NOT slick

lewishamilton The 🐐

lewishamilton And Y/n.

liked by lewishamilton, landonorris, and 142, 674 others ynusername some funny photos from a very fun weekend

francolapinto Come on you post my teammate but not me?

ynusername maybe you should visit me often then 🤷‍♀️

georgerussell63 Is that Toto...

ynusername affirmative

landonorris Trust in y/n to expose the grid hmmm

alex_albon Wow @/georgerussell63 looking sexy

lilymhe Stop hitting on GEORGE

lewishamilton ⭐ liked by ynusername

francolapinto Penalty for eating ice cream during race week

ynusername booooo someone throw tomatoes on him

user53 DOUBLE FRANCO COMMENTS

liked by alex_albon, ynusername, and 1, 448, 925 others francolapinto Good weekend 😁

tagged: williamsracing & alex_albon

alex_albon Mate does not live up to the hype sorry Franco

ynusername what the actual hell are you doing to that car in the second photo

francolapinto I can show you later if you'd like This comment was deleted

ynusername also you expect me to post you but you don't even post me smh

francolapinto You go first then

landonorris holy shit I saw that comment franco

williamsracing We're pretending that we didn't!

view ynusername's story...

caption: fine I'll go first @/francolapinto

view francolapinto's story...

caption: She clearly doesn't like paparazzi

liked by oscarpiastri, paularon, and 2, 630, 727 others francolapinto I might fall off but at least a pretty girl can give me CPR

tagged: ynusername

landonoriss FUCKING FINALY

lewishamilton I'm keeping my eye on you Franco

francolapinto 😅

ynusername awww you think I'm pretty?

francolapinto I'm happy to repeat myself francolapinto You are the prettiest girl I've ever met

williamsracing Please do not fall off

view ynusername's story...

caption: how is he a formula one driver and still so uncoordinated

how did we like this guys? ALSO why the hell are there no new photos of franco on pinterest like damn. Let me know if you like this and as always reqs are open!

[astonmartinii]

passion for fashion | max verstappen social media au

pairing: max verstappen x fem it girl!reader

she's everything and he's just ken (in a red bull shirt)

MASTERLIST | TIPS | MY SMALL BUSINESS

vogue

liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 490,233 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: it's the start of the f1 season, you know what that means... y/n y/ln fashion season is in session

view all comments

user1: @yourusername make sure you're windows are bolted shut tongiht... you're on my rob list

user2: and mine PLEASE SPARE ME SOME OF YOUR CLOTHES

user3: her and lewis hamilton are the only real ones in that paddock

user4: the way they're still besties despite what went down in 2021 >>>

lewishamilton: me and y/n 🤝 making the paddock our runway

yourusername: someone has to make it interesting around here

lewishamilton: see @maxverstappen1 even y/n is bored of you winning everything...

maxverstappen1: womp womp

lewishamilton: womp womp ???? have some decorum

maxverstappen1: jokes on you i don't know what that means

user5: i wish i looked that good candidly

user6: at what point do we stage an intervention for max's wardrobe

user7: babe if the girlfriend effect still hasn't hit then it's terminal

user8: especially when your girlfriend is Y/N Y/LN

maxverstappen1: i'd do anything for her <3

yourusername: even wear something other than red bull merch?

maxverstappen1: let's not get too far ahead of ourselves

user9: i love them your honour

yourusername

liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 1,209,445 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: max verstappen wins, water is wet

view all comments

user11: water is wet and i will be drowning myself in it tonight

user12: me after hearing the dutch national anthem one too many times

landonorris: tell him he has too many already and he should let his best friend have a go

yourusername: he said that's not possible because i don't know how to drive an f1 car

landonorris: nuh uh you can't be his best friend and his girlfriend that's not fair

maxverstappen1: welp, idk what to tell you buddy

landonorris: i feel BETRAYED

yourusername: i'm sorry i'm just that loveable lando... i see how it is

landonorris: HOW HAVE I BECOME THE VILLAIN?

user13: max terrorises them on the grid and in the paddock they maximise their joint slay to terrorise everyone in a two mile radius

user14: they slay so much i can't even be angry at it

danielricciardo: so that's why i was kicked out of the elevator

yourusername: you weren't kicked out it was your floor?

danielricciardo: why did i not make the post? I THOUGHT I MEANT MORE TO YOU

maxverstappen1: just because we both had teenage crushes on you doesn't make you special. you'd have to fight seb and jenson for real special treatment

yourusername: throw fernando and kimi in there as well.

danielricciardo: i was confident in my fighting chances, but i'll leave nando and kimi to it

maxverstappen1: pussy

danielricciardo: EXCUSE ME

yourusername: idk how we got here but don't talk to my boyf that way daniel 😔

danielricciardo: i'm blocking both of you

user15: i am so baffled

user16: IT couple for real

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,034,448 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: clocked in for my shift as the trophy husband to the prettiest girl in the world

view all comments

user17: max verstappen why is there a whisper meme in your photo dump

user18: his ass acting like he wasn't at one of the most prestigious galas in the world

charles_leclerc: YOU got an invite and that's the best you could do

maxverstappen1: you better take that back right now y/n dressed me tonight and i look SEXY and COOL

yourusername: charles :( he looks very handsome

charles_leclerc: my bad y/n i wasn't aware that was your pick

yourusername: SAY HE'S HANDSOME CHARLES

charles_leclerc: ??? no

yourusername: wow. you really aren't a girls girl charles. i am disappointed

maxverstappen1: does our history mean nothing charles? i have no issue recreating the inchident at the next race

charles_leclerc: FINE. you look very handsome max

yourusername: more passion please

charles_leclerc: you look very handsome max!

yourusername: more! give the lestappen girlies some crumbs to feed on

charles_leclerc: YOU LOOK VERY HANDSOME

maxverstappen1: thank you 😊

user19: ignoring what ever the fuck that was ... MAX IN A SUIT WHAT THE FUCK MAX IN A SUIT

user20: y/n y/ln the woman you are

user21: so how can we implement this willingness to wear a suit into his paddock fashion

lewishamilton: you might have to waterboard him

charles_leclerc: i volunteer as tribute !

yourusername: 🤨

maxverstappen1: 🤨

f1paddockfashion

liked by user24, user25 and 11,029 others

tagged: maxverstappen1 & yourusername

f1paddockfashion: max verstappen in non-red bull attire? MAX VERSTAPPEN IN NON-RED BULL ATTIRE? also y/n slaying as per.

view all comments

user24: this is - i don't know how to feel

user25: maybe the real max verstappen in non red-bull attire was the friends we made along the way

user26: i am CELEBRATING but ladies do remember it's still alpha tauri 😭😭😭

user27: please let us have this while we can

user28: it's not plastered with sponsors so we'll take it

user29: idk about you guys but i think this means y/n should be knighted for her services

user30: i actually think prying the red bull merch out of max's hands might be the hardest thing in the world

user31: call me crazy but those jeans look kinda baggy 😳

user32: omg they definitely are

user33: death to the skinny jeans? fuck it first child named after y/n

user34: can we maybe get y/n in charge of max's merch cause the shit he sells should be considered criminal

user35: for real we need babe in the board room asap

user36: fuck it get her in the red bull board room as well

user37: go all the way and get her with the f1 execs

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 1,506,339 others

tagged: maxverstappen1

yourusername: i love him even if all he wears is red bull

view all comments

user39: so ... who made the inchident shirt?

charles_leclerc: and how do i get one?

maxverstappen1: i got it made and considering you DON'T think i'm handsome you can go fuck yourself :)

charles_leclerc: GASP. that is my face you have to make me one

maxverstappen1: boooooo no i don't

charles_leclerc: can i copyright my face? i'm sending you a cease and desist

maxverstappen1: fine. but you will never look as hot as y/n in it

charles_leclerc: so you can call me ugly? @yourusername ???

yourusername: it was a compliment to me so soz

user40: the way she's fashion's IT girl and she still loves him even though his whole wardrobe should be burned

user41: real love

maxverstappen1: i love you. i wear my red bull merch to give you the runway

yourusername: sureeeee ... i love you too xx

maxverstappen1: let me live 😭😭😭

yourusername: the girls are dragging your name babe i need them to know HOW SEXY YOU ARE

maxverstappen1: i don't care how sexy they find me, as long as you love me that's all i need

yourusername: you're SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE YOU

maxverstappen1: I LOVE YOU TOO

user42: can they chill? some people on here are lonely

maxverstappen1

liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 1,033,461 others

tagged: yourusername

maxverstappen1: my closet looks like this, so her's can look like this :)

view all comments

user43: max verstappen i misunderstood you. i was unfamiliar with your game.

user44: he's the standard now i fear

user45: a man who wears the same three outfits so you can have the whole walk-in for your collection >>

yourusername: thank you babe. you are god's strongest soldier

maxverstappen1: i AM. that room is scary. there's too much that i don't understand. so many shoes, so many straps i can't navigate it

yourusername: that's okay baby. there's your red bull draw and that's all you need

maxverstappen1: no the people don't understand. i went in there once and i swear i ended up in narnia

yourusername: you passed out with the AC on the highest level and jimmy and sassy sat on you. you were not in narnia

maxverstappen1: oh. well...

user46: this is the closet y/n deserves the rest of that house is defo a mojo dojo casa house

user47: fighting all the trophies, helmets and framed race suits with her narnia closet

lilymunhe: may i request a trip to the narnia closet x

yourusername: omg yes! come over next time you and alex are in monaco - the boys can entertain themselves

alexalbon: what if i want a closet tour as well?

maxverstappen1: don't do it alex you'll never find your way back out

alexalbon: (i was going to strategically leave a pair of albon athletics shoes in there)

yourusername: alex i already own a pair i bought them release day!

alexalbon: OMG ... one instagram pic so my sales can go platinum?

maxverstappen1: don't try and pimp my gf out

alexalbon: ???

yourusername: max 😭 and sure alex!

fin.

note: thank you for reading soz for the long waits between posts a girl has been BUSY but i hope you've all enjoyed! happy galentines day or palentines day to all that celebrate and thanks for 4.7k!! xx

[thatonegayship]

What Bill wants for his big day:

So Bill doesn't have a birthday sure, but is there some sort of Bill Cipher Day? Demonic celebration?

..and if so, does dip know?

Oh man, there probably is! Bill's absolutely the kind of guy to have a whole Day Of Celebration devoted to himself. Likely it's not on any sort of earthly calendar basis, too, so it'll come up at some time when Dipper least expects it.

Because, c'mon. Bill's fantastically knowledgeable - but he's absolute shit at filling Dipper in on important information beforehand.

[archangeldyke-all]

Based off part one that just got released…

Sevika coming home with Jinx and isha because they have no where to stay and she’s not very happy about it but, you welcome them home with open arms and you guys kinda have a little family dynamic going on

-💌

CUTE

men and minors dni

it's a little awkward when sevika comes tumbling through your front door with two kids in tow... only because you were waiting for her on the couch in lingerie.

sevika gasps, jinx starts to cackle, and the little kid holding onto jinx's back just waves at you, too young to know what they just walked in on.

sevika sprints to your side, an excited glimmer in her eyes as she licks her lips and gets a good look at you, before she covers you up in her poncho. jinx is still laughing in the doorway when you're finally clothed.

"hey, jinx." you greet, rubbing your neck in embarrassment. jinx snorts and waves at you. "w-who's your friend?" you ask, pointing to the kid on her back.

sevika groans next to you, pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration. jinx sighs, but you can see the affection buried just below the surface what she speaks. "tell 'er, kid." she says, nudging the girl.

"h-hi." the baby whispers, waving at you. "'m isha." she says.

you grin, stepping forward to wave back at isha. fuck she's cute, her big gold eyes glimmering with excitement as you approach her. "well, ms. isha. it looks like you got my girls into some trouble." you say.

isha giggles and jinx smirks a bit. you've always had a soft spot for jinx, and lately, it seems like sevika's been feeling the same. if there's one thing sevika knows about it's losing a father figure-- she couldn't stop herself from lending a helping hand to the teen.

so: jinx has been over for a lot of dinners lately, crashing on the couch once or twice a week, using your bath on occasion and, sometimes, coming over just to chat.

"we got inna fight!" isha announces, wiggling a bit on jinx's back. you quickly shoot a glare at sevika and she rolls her eyes.

"you did!? did you win?" you ask. isha nods enthuastically, her little miners' hat clattering to the ground.

"i shot a gun!" she says.

"you what!?" you ask, glaring at jinx and sevika. both of them wear the same exasperated look on their faces, sevika raising her flesh arm in surrender.

"she didn't. she held a gun. stupidly. i told you to stay on the fuckin' balcony." sevika says, glaring at isha. the girl pouts, and jinx clicks her tongue.

"oh please. i heard the stories about you as a kid, sevika." jinx says. "it's not like i was any better." she mumbles.

you sigh and tug jinx into your home, leading her and isha to the couch. "c'mon. the couch is a pull out, i'm sure both of you can fit."

"what!? no-- isha's not-- we're not-- i'm fine!" jinx insists. you and sevika both snort, and jinx grunts and rolls her eyes. "fine, whatever. we'll stay... but only if you make that stir fry shit again." jinx relents, settling isha down on the couch before flopping down on it herself.

isha immediately crawls into jinx's lap, starting to fiddle with her bangs. sevika moves to start helping you in the kitchen, and when jinx thinks there's no one left to see, she leans forward and kisses isha's forehead, smiling softly.

"so... you just gonna keep bringing home strays?" you tease in the kitchen, hip checking sevika as you spark the stove. she groans.

"oh, fuck off. you know you're thrilled to play family."

"'course i am. you're a hot mom babe. what'd jinx call it? a milf?" you ask. sevika snorts despite herself, shaking her head in amusement. "next time you two get into some shit though, you're leaving the kid with me, understand?"

sevika chuckles and kisses your cheek. "whatever you say, mama bear... we should probably start keeping the sexy-clothes limited to the bedroom, too."

you groan and elbow your wife. sevika just cackles.

taglist!

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[unclewaynemunson]

“I need to tell you something.”

Shitfuckno. Eddie doesn't even know why he's still surprised. This is how it always goes, after all. He should probably just give up and stop dating altogether – again.

Steve looks at him exactly as ominously as the words I need to tell you something require. Perfect Steve. Funny Steve. Sweet Steve. Sexy Steve. Steve, who Eddie had genuinely believed to be different.

Eddie sighs, barely suppressing a dark chuckle while he turns away from that perfect face. He doesn't want to look at Steve when he'll tell him the undoubtedly messed-up shit he's about to spill.

“Lemme guess, you're married?” That was what the last guy he dated told him, seven months after they got to know each other. It can't be much worse than that, can it?

Steve grabs Eddie's hand, causing him to involuntarily jerk up his head and meet his eyes.

“How did you know?”

Jesus H. Christ. Not again.

Eddie roughly pulls his hand out of Steve's grip and laughs a joyless laugh.

“Apparently I'm a good guesser.”

He stands up from the park bench the two of them had been sharing. “Well, Steve, this has been a blast. You should go back to your wife, or husband – don't tell me, I don't even wanna know – and I should um, get going. Maybe tell the next person right away what they'll be getting themselves into. Would save them a lot of wasted time, just in case cheating and going around other people's backs isn't really their thing, y'know.”

“Eddie, wait, let me explain!”

Eddie picks up his pace, but Steve, stubborn as he is, easily keeps up with him.

“I'm really not interested, man.”

“It's not – I'm not cheating on her!”

“Okay, so you have an open marriage, good for you. Still the kind of information you could've shared with me, say, three months ago, don't you think?”

“She's a lesbian.”

And that makes Eddie freeze on the spot. It takes Steve two steps before he realizes Eddie has stopped moving; he walks backwards until he's standing right in front of Eddie.

“She's my best friend,” he says, immediately using Eddie's stunned silence to his advantage. “Robin, my roommate – I told you all about her. We wanted to buy a house together and that turned out to be very complicated when you're not... Well, when you're not romantically involved. So we got married. For the, um, practical reasons. We never – we're like siblings. I love her like a sister. But she's also my wife. Platonically.”

It takes a few seconds until Steve's words sink in. Then, Eddie leaps forward and basically collapses into Steve's arms, needing to hold onto him to prevent himself from crashing to the ground.

Steve's arms are warm, strong, and as safe as ever.

“Eddie, are you okay?” Steve asks softly. His lips brush against Eddie's ear while he speaks, and worry colors his voice.

Perfect Steve. Too-good-to-be-true Steve.

“Jesus Christ, Steve,” is the only thing Eddie manages to say.

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you,” Steve says. “It's just – I've gotten some, um... Less than ideal reactions, in the past, whenever I told this when I was seeing someone. So I thought it'd be better to wait until things were getting serious.” He sighs, tangling his fingers in Eddie's hair. “I didn't wanna scare you off. Are we – are you okay?”

Eddie nods. He lifts his head from where it's resting against Steve's shoulder and raises his hands to squeeze them around Steve's face.

“We're okay,” he says. “And I'm sorry I didn't want to listen to you. I–” He stops; he can't find the words right away. It's still difficult to talk about those things; to let himself be vulnerable. But Steve has been honest with him, so it's only fair to return the favor.

“I've been hurt, Steve,” he confesses. “More than once. I've had some really shitty experiences with dudes not being honest with me. I thought that that was what was happening again, and I couldn't – I couldn't go through that again. Especially not with you.”

“Jesus, Eddie, I'm so sorry.”

“It's okay,” Eddie rushes to say, pulling Steve even closer towards him. “I trust you.” And as soon as these words leave his mouth, he knows it's the truth.

“I do want to be absolutely clear about one thing, though,” Steve says.

Eddie leans back in Steve's arms to give him an expectant look.

“Robin is my wife. I'm not planning on that to change anytime soon. We've been through a lot together. She's been the most important person in my life for years. We own a house and a dog together, and I love her more than anything. I like you a lot, and I promise you I'm all-in with you, but... Robin is still my number one. And that's not gonna change overnight. I need you to be okay with that.”

Eddie swallows. He looks into Steve's eyes. All he sees is a man who is honest, who loves his friends deeply, and who refuses to make any compromises when it comes to love – whether it be the platonic or the romantic kind.

It doesn't scare Eddie off; it only makes him fonder of Steve.

He smiles, glances around to check if they're alone, and presses a quick kiss against Steve's lips.

“I think I can live with that,” he says. “As long as I'm the only one who gets to do this.” He closes his eyes and lets his lips meet Steve's again.

The sigh that Steve breathes into their tentative kiss is one filled with relief.

[leclercstars]

save a horse.

dodge mason x reader

Summary: You're annoyed about getting paired with Dodge for a group project. He's quiet, cold, and you find nothing about him appealing (at least, that's what you're telling yourself.) Things start to take a turn when you end up having to work on the project in his bedroom, and suddenly, Dodge becomes the teacher.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+! protected sex, slight daddy kink, dom!dodge, nipple play

author's note: you all asked and you shall receive! god i love dodge mason (and you should too.)

“And you’ll be with Dodge Mason” the professor said when she got to your name on the class list. You thought you would be able to avoid group projects in community college, but apparently not. Dodge didn’t even shoot you a glance when the professor announced you as partners, so things were surely off to a great start.

He always sat in the very back, head low, kept to himself. He never raised his hand to answer a question or chime in on a discussion, and he always hurried out as soon as the professor dismissed class. You had seen him out at parties on occasion, chatting to one or two other guys in the corner. He looked good at parties, blue jeans and a tight t-shirt was a good uniform for him, especially when he added a cowboy hat. But his mysteriousness was unappealing, you found the whole “brooding cowboy” thing to be more cold and standoffish than sexy.

“Dodge! Dodge!” you chased him out of the classroom. You caught up with him and his expression hardly changed when he saw you. “What time should we meet to work on this?”

“8pm tonight sound fine?” he scrawled his address out on a piece of notebook paper and handed it to you.

“Sure! See ya then!” your cheeriness did not impact his mood, and you scoffed as you headed back to your car.

You did not find Dodge Mason appealing at all, but you found yourself standing in front of your mirror at 7:30 p.m. making sure that your outfit looked good. Your skirt was short, your shirt was tight. Why were you doing this? You kept trying to convince yourself you saw nothing in him, but your mind kept flashing back to the way his arms looked in those t-shirts that fit him so right. You threw on a hoodie so you at least seemed a little more casual.

He answered the door as soon as you knocked, and you walked in to quite a few folks in the dining room.

“Sorry, my sister has friends over. We’ll have to work in my room,” Dodge said as he led you down the hallway.

Why was your heart beating faster? You were just going in there to work, and it's only because you can’t go anywhere else.

His room was just as you expected it to be. Gray walls, navy bed sheets, decorated with rodeo trophies and a couple vintage cigarette ads.

“Neat room,” you said, even though it was boring as hell.

“Thanks.” he sat on one edge of the bed and you sat on the other, it felt like there was miles of distance between you- both physically and mentally at this point. Your legs were crossed tight, as you realized maybe wearing a skirt was not the best outfit choice for doing homework on a bed. The two of you got to work, talking about nothing except the work at hand. You were getting so bored, and your mind started to wander. His concentrated face was unfortunately very attractive, as he bit his lip looking down at the paper. His hands were huge, made evident by how small the pencil looked in them. His t-shirt was once again, tight. Hugging every muscle in his arm. You couldn’t stand it anymore. You took off your hoodie, revealing the crop-top you had on.

“Sorry, all this writing and concentrating is making me hot,” you laughed sheepishly.

“No problem.” Dodge replied plainly, although you couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes suddenly scanned your body. He wasn’t even trying to hide it, as they lingered on the curve of your hips and the peaks of your tits, visible over the neckline of your shirt. Your face was getting warmer than the sun.

“I need a break, why don’t you tell me about these trophies?” you shot up and stood by his dresser, desperate to form some sort of connection with this man.

“Alright,” he stayed on the bed. He began explaining each one in pretty great detail. If you couldn’t physically get close to him, at least this was helping you get to know him better. There was a big one from when he was kid that had a particularly funny story to go along with it, and you held the shiny gold cup, facing away from the bed. You didn’t notice the way he slowly got up, coming up behind you and sneaking his hands around your waist. Your breath hitched, the smell of his musky cologne apparent as his neck was mere inches from your face. He turned you around to face him, fingertips never leaving the exposed skin between your shirt and skirt.

You stared up at him, eyes dark and low. It wasn’t his usual uninterested stare. No, this was lust, a throbbing, aching lust. God, he was so tall. You nearly had to tilt your head all the way back to even make eye contact. He cupped your face with both hands and pulled you in, kissing you in a way that you had never been kissed before. It was as if his lips were a key and yours were the lock, they fit perfectly together. His tongue found its way down your throat as his hands started to gently roam, tracing every curve and pausing as he found your ass under the skirt. He cupped your ass and squeezed, hard, earning a moan from you into his mouth. You could feel him smile against your lips as he squeezed again, making you press your body into his. Fuck, his abs were so tight and so defined you could feel them through the fabric. You looked up at him again with pleading eyes and he smirked before leaning right next to your ear.

“You wanna learn how to ride?” he whispered. You knew he was cracking a joke but god it felt so serious in that moment.

“Yes daddy.” you groaned back. Woah. He had never asked you to call him that, and you were not the type to just bust that word out usually.

“Fucking christ I need you so bad,” he hoisted you up and you instinctively wrapped your legs around him as he carried you to the bed. So “daddy” was well received. He flung all the notebooks and paper to the ground with one swipe of his arm. He was holding you up with one arm, giving you a chance to realize how strong he truly was. He tossed you down on the bed, rough but making sure he didn’t hurt you. His shirt came off almost immediately, and you happily helped him undo his belt buckle so you could see more of him. His cock was already throbbing through his boxers, just coaxing you to sit on it. He had already pulled your shirt and skirt off, and expertly unhooked your bra, tossing it to the side and taking a moment as you laid there in nothing but a lacy thong.

“Goddamn,” he sighed, grazing his thumbs over your nipples, teasing you and only making you want his cock more. He started applying more pressure, doing gentle circles with his thumbs and pressing his erection between your legs. Your moans were soft as you bucked your hips into him with progressively more force.

“Easy,” he firmly placed his hands on your hips, steadying them and pressing them back down into the mattress. “That’s no way for a good girl like you to behave.”

Suddenly it was Niagara Falls between your thighs.

He kept playing with your nipples, pinching and twisting and flicking, seeing how good it clearly made you feel. He wrapped his hands around your back and flipped you on top of him, quickly pulling down his boxers and exposing his cock, already slick with pre-cum. He reached into his bedside drawer and pulled out a condom, looking at you as you straddled him.

“You ready baby?” he nearly cooed. You nodded and started to lift yourself up over him, but he decided to take control. His rough hands were planted firmly on the sides of your supple hips, guiding you onto his length. You were soaking wet, but he was so fucking big you could still only take half at once without flinching. He held you steady, waiting for you to get used to the feeling of him inside you. You both had locked eyes the moment he grabbed your hips, and neither had dared to look away, drinking in, being intoxicated by every emotion that crossed the other’s face. He slowly moved you down until you were fully sitting on his cock, gasping as the last inch pushed into your walls. Your hands were on his chest as you leaned forward, eyes now shut as you felt how close the two of you had become. Two hours ago he would barely say a word to you, now he was literally inside of you. He started rocking you back and forth, controlling your hips and making you feel so fucking good. Your clit rubbed against his abs as you rode, sparks zapping across your body every time he moved you in just the right way.

You were on top, but Dodge was fully in control. You were completely submitting to his touch, letting his hands do all the work. His body was doing all the talking he hadn’t done earlier, as he purposely thrust his abs up, knowing that was getting you closer and closer to the finish. You were starting to lose it, made completely stupid by how good his cock felt inside you.

“Fuck Dodge-daddy, fuck,” you were so so close, you could feel the orgasm starting to bubble up in your stomach.

Right as you were about to climax, Dodge sat up and leaned in.

“Cum for me good girl,” the thickness of his voice was enough to send you over the edge as you cried out, breaking free of his hands and grinding on him.

“Oh fuck me,” his head rolled back and the feeling of your pussy clenching around his dick was enough to finish him off, pulsating against your walls.

You slid yourself off him and collapsed onto his pillows, resting your head in the crook of his arm.

He started playing with your hair and the two of you just laid in silence, basking in the bliss of the sex you just had.

That was certainly one ride you never wanted to get off.

dividers by @.cafekitsune

[noodle-is-unstable]

How the JJK Characters react to your slutty costume

(Head Cannons/Drabbles)

Ft ~ Satoru Gojo, Suguru Geto, Kento Nanami, Toji Fushiguro, Ryoumen Sukuna, Choso, Takuma Ino, Shiu Kong, Uraume, Yuki Tsukumo, Shoko Ieiri, Mahito

Synopsis ~ How the JJK Characters react to you in a slutty costume just before you're supposed to go to a party

Content Warning ~ 18+, dress up, roleplay. Idk adult stuff

Gojo ~

Angewomon (Digimon)

First Sight: His jaw would drop and he'd be speechless, which is rare for him. His hands would get sweaty as he opened and closed his mouth like a fish, baffled by the sight in front of him.

Go Party or Stay Home: Would BEG you to stay home, not because he didn't want people to see you dressed up but because he REALLY wants you back in the bedroom. You'll end up going

"I can't decide if i want to rip that costume off or savor every sweet second you're in it." Gojo spoke breathlessly. You quite literally took his breath away and left him stunned.

"Why not fuck me in the costume now and rip it off after the party?" You playfully swayed.

"Oh god I love you!" Gojo groaned before grabbing your hand to drag you back into the bedroom. You'd be late to the party and probably a little disheveled, but you'd make it. You'll also be leaving early

Geto ~

Demon

First Sight: Groans. Literally lets air escape his lips as blood rushes to his cock. It's instantaneous. He can't take his eyes off your ass

Go Party or Stay Home: You're going to the party. He's absolutely bringing you to parade you around and show you off

Geto grabbed your arm and pulled you into the small bathroom.

"Sugar bear." You laughed but tried to keep your voice down.

"Sorry Angel, or should i say devil?" Geto's lips were already on your neck. "I just can't wait until we get back home."

Nanami ~

Cheerleader

First Sight: Swallows hard and immediately feels like a little emo virgin again. You always made him a little nervous but dressed like that has him sweating bullets and stuttering

Go Party or Stay Home: You're going to the party to at least make an appearance but you will be leaving early

"You always say I'm your number one cheerleader, right?" You smirked, shaking your pom poms at Nanami.

"U-um yeah, you are darling. It's j-just. wow." Nanami mumbled out. It was rare he would trip on his words so you know you did good.

"Come on, we have a party to go to and you have a date with a cheerleader." You giggle before grabbing his hand

Toji ~

Sexy Cop

First Sight: Confused but very amused. Can't help but eye up the shiny handcuffs you're swinging around

Go Party or Stay Home: You barely make it out of the bedroom. No one saw you at the party and it was because you were busy all night

"Did I do something, officer?" Toji mused with a scarred smirk.

"I'm afraid so, and I'm going to have to take you in. All of you in." You purred, twirling the cuffs around. Toji just put his hands out for you to cuff before you dragged him back into the bedroom

Sukuna ~

Minx (Animal)

First Sight: Confused. Why were you an animal? But the second you told him you were a Minx, HIS minx, he was a goner

Go Party or Stay Home: Party? What party? You never even left the room

"Don't you get it? I'm a Minx. You know, like what you always call me?" You laughed and swung your tail around playfully.

"Ah my minx. If only you knew what you did to me." Sukuna's voice was low, eyes dark with want.

"Yeah? Why not show me?" You purred out before he tackled you with his entire bodyweight

Choso ~

Ghost Face

First Sight: He doesn't know why but he is absolutely turned on. Was it the mask? The tight outfit? Or the fact you watched the movie the night before?

Go Party or Stay Home: You go to the party but Choso is following and drooling over you the entire time

"Can we please go home now?" Choso pulled desperatly at your robe.

"Tell you what, why don't you go home and hide, and I'll find you. I'll give you a five minute head start." You whispered into his ear. He couldn't even muster words because he was already heading home

Ino ~

Sexy Nanami

First Sight: Confused. Ino's always a little slow on the uptake though. The spotted yellow tie didn't give it away. It wasn't the tan suit jacket that barely covered your chest or the blue, skin tight shorts. No, it was when you pulled out a replica of Nanami's weapon that it clicked for him.

Go Party or Stay Home: You go to the party, purposely wanting to fluster Ino. Ino was ready to die from embarrassment or maybe all his blood running to his dick when Nanami saw you

"Babe, his eyes almost blew out of his head." Ino whined, hiding his face in your neck.

"And you almost blew your load." You chuckle, stroking his hair

Shiu ~

Nascar Driver

First Sight: Amused. Your tight racing gear left little to the imagination, not that he needed to imagine it.

Go Party or Stay Home: You had no plans to go to the party in the first place and made sure to seduce Shiu so you didn't have to go

"Didn't think you were into racing, Doll." Shiu leaned back more in his chair, taking in the view that was you.

"Can't say I am, But i do know i want to take you for a drive." You licked your lip.

"That so? Then hop on and show me how your engine purrs."

Uraume ~

Viking

First Sight: Is stunned. Seeing you with a fur cape, braided hair and an axe left them in a quiet awe

Go Party or Stay Home: You were dragging them to a party because you wanted to show them off. You're prized Uraume that everyone needed to know was yours

"Can we go home now?" Uraume's voice came out meek and small.

"Why, want me to pillage you." You wink, their cheeks turning crimson.

"We should go home now." A smile tugged at their lips

Yuki ~

Bunny

First Sight: Is IMEDIATLY ready to take you. Has to stop herself from tackling you, not that you'd mind

Go Party or Stay Home: You aren't going to the party. Yuki never planned on going even if you did

"Are you my little Playboy Bunny?" Yuki bit her lip, taking in your skimpy outfit.

"I can be, want me to bounce on you until easter?" You winked and stuck out your tongue. That's all you had to say before Yuki was groaning and dragging you back into the bedroom

Shoko ~

Nurse/Doctor

First Sight: Can't stop smiling, mainly because you stole her clothes and tools for your costume

Go Party or Stay Home: You'll go to the party and pretend to be Shoko the entire time. She's more than happy to show you off and entertain you though

"Are you feeling okay?" You ask, looking at Shoko with consern.

"I'm fine, why?" She looked at you confused.

"Because you're looking really hot and like you need a check-up." You wink and blow her a kiss.

"You're so stupid." She laughed. "Let's go home so you can make sure I'm okay."

Mahito ~

Scarecrow

First Sight: Doesn't understand but is excited about your matching stitch marks

Go Party or Stay Home: You'll make him come to the party with you. You like teasing him and making him wait

"Why do you have those marks?" Mahito looked at the stitches you drew on, ones that matched his.

"They're for my costume, I'm a scarecrow, so we can match. Though I suppose you're closer to a puppet." You chuckle.

"What does that mean?" Mahito tilted his head.

"Don't worry about it Rabbit, lets go."

[petew21-blog]

Revenge possession, part 2

"So what is this game called again?" I asked out loud with Devon's voice.

Devon in the back of our mind:"Dead by daylight. You play either as a survivor or the killer. Depending on the role you have to escape or kill all the survivors."

I chuckled a bit:"You don't see how that's ironic?"

Devon was silent. "I'm so sorry, man. Jesus, I didn't think this through. Haha. Well... you should be good in this game right?"

Me:"Not really. I kinda didn't even know I was being hunted. Your parents just picked me up and then tortured me in the woods. I didn't have much of a chance to even run."

Devon:"Oh... I'm so sorry for that, man. My parents are horrible people."

Me:"Yeah. And I know they killed much more people than just me. That's why it needs to stop"

Devon:"So are you sure that killing them would be the best revenge for all these years of their murder spree?"

Me:"What else can I do? It's not like I had much of a choice. Few days ago I didn't even have a body. Now I co-share yours. Yeah, stealing their sons body is good revenge too, but you're a good person. And I don't want to take over your life."

Devon:"Not what I was aiming for. I honestly love having you here with me. You're like a second voice/brother/best friend inside of me. Oh shit. I just figured. I keep calling you bro. What's your real name?"

Me:"Paul. Took you long to ask, man. Not cool"

Devon:"Sorry, haha. So... Paul. You're like 40 now, right?"

Me:"I would be if your parents didn't kill me. But I died when I was 21 like you are now. So my mind basically stayed 21 I suppose. Except for roaming the country I didn't have much fun through all these years. These past few days as you, just chilling here, playing video games, jerking off and talking to you is the most fun I had over these 20 years."

Devon took control over his body to let go of the controler and to flex his biceps. The sweat hitting his nose.

Me:"What are you doing? I thought we were gonna play?"

Devon:"Nah, just reminding you what body you're in"

Devon:"Look at me man. I have beautiful abs, massive arms. These thighs could crush a melon between them. I appreciate that you picked me and that you like my body, but you gotta do something about this. We gotta go have fun. With another living being."

Me:"Devon... I really am happy how you treat me in your body, but... I don't think we have the same type of dating pool"

Devon:"I don't care whoever you fuck. I'm straight, or atleast I think I am, but very accepting. And if my man inside of me wants to fuck some handsome man, I will be more than happy to help you out. Bros gotta help each other"

Me:"But it's gonna be your body, man."

Devon:"So? You could do much worse with my body and you didn't. Getting fucked or fucking someone in the ass is not so bad."

Me:"Ok? So what place do you suggest?"

Devon:"Gym. We can show everyone what this body can do. Lot of people observe me there, so you can pick whoever you desire"

We arrived to the gym. So many hot and sexy people in sight. Devon took control to do his normal routine. It sucks that I could also have a body like this, but back in the day I wanted to see the world. I wanted to be myself in a world that hates my kind. Twenty years later, the world is so much more accepting. It's not ideal, but wow. How things gave changed

I still can't believe that Devon let's me stay in his body. I mean, look at him. He could be anything, have anyone. And yet this hot piece of meat is depressed with his easy life, being alone most of the time. I guess that's what happens when your serial killer parents move your family every now and then. You don't have any friends and those that you did might already be dead by their hand. How horrible... I honestly can't wait to see them. To look them in their face. With their son's face and to kill them. I hope Devon will forgive me. I know he says he wants to stop them, but it's his parents. I just have to make sure that he will not stop me when the time comes

Devon was just finishing up, when a cute twink approached us.

The guy:"Hey, I hope you don't mind that I was watching you"

Devon:"Nah, it's ok man. You need a hand with lifting?"

The guy smiled. "Oh I do need a hand, I just don't know If I asked the right person"

Devon sat down, looking all confused:"That depends if..."

I stopped Devon mid sentence. "I think that's a cue for me to take over, ok?"

Devon now in the back of my mind:"Sorry man, I usually don't respond to guys hitting on me. Go on. Have fun"

I smiled at the guy and casually finished the sentence

We headed to the showers. The owners must be probably sick with all these guys hooking up here. But we didn't care. We made out passionately. The twins was all over my muscles, as I would be in his place too. He was a bit smaller. That gave me a sense of dominating him.

I stopped and smiled at the guy. "I... just gotta let you know that I am a virgin"

Devon:"What!!! Dude, you never had sex with anyone?"

The guy looked at me from top to bottom. "You? If good looking people like you are virgins, then I have no idea how world works."

I chuckled nervously. It was true. I was 21 when I died, but back then it was much harder to date a find gay guy. Now you can just download Grindr and in a few minutes you got yourself a guy in your bedroom

Twink:"Well in that case we can go to your place and have some fun there. This isn't a very nice place to have your first time, don't you think"

I just smiled and nodded in approval

We were now in Devon's messy room. The guy was really shocked to see such a straight man cave, but didn't say a word. We made out. He took off my shirt soaked in sweat from gym. His lips now kissed my neck and went to over my pecs, down the middle to my waist band. He took my hard dick into his hand, squeezed hard and looked me deep into my eyes. His look was so full of lust, yet I could tell it was superficial. This guy isn't looking for romance. He just wants to be fucked hard. So let's give it to him

I took a bit of control of the moment. I grabbed him by the neck. Turned him around and pressed him against the wall. He was now moaning in pleasure as I was rubbing my hard dick hidden beneath the layers of my clothes against his ass. I was still holding him, choking him.

I pulled of my shorts and his just low enough to get my dick in there. I wanted to push it right in there. As hard as I could

Devon suddenly screamed out from the back of his mind:"Condom dude!!!"

I left the guy, moanjng against the wall, reaching out to the condom on the shelf. I was struggling to find which side to pick to put it on my dick

Twink:"Wait. Let me" it was obvious he jas done it a few times. The condor was on in a matters of seconds. "Do you have any lube?"

Devon intervened again:"Top drawer. Give him more attention, man. You're making it all about yourself"

"Shut up" I said out loud as a response to Devon, but the guy looked confused. "Oh sorry, not you. I'm just nervous. I have lube right here."

The guy went on Devon's bed on his back. His clothes were now gone and his ass was welcoming my dick. His legs wide open.

I pressed lightly my dick with a ridiculous ammount of lube on top.

It went smoothly so I tried to went all the way. This seemed to hurt the twins. "Hold your horses. I'm good, but not that good. A bit slower, cowboy."

I went in slowly. The pleasure got to Devon too. The way this guys ass was tight around the head of our dick was sending our minds to heaven.

I picked up the pace. The twink was moaning in pleasure and in pain at the same time. I grabbed him by the next to choke him. My other arm pressing his thigh.

Twink:"Harder!" I thought I was going as hard as possible, but I didn't think he could take it much more

Twink:"Harder!!!"

Devon:"Oh, jesus. Let me do it" Devon took over. I was in the back of our mind again. Still feeling everything.

Devon was like a beast, but the twink was really enjoying it.

I could feel all the cum building up. Ooh there's gonna be tons of cum.

Devon was biting his lower líp and furiously pounding this guy's ass. Sure, "Straight" my ass.

Devon:"I'm cumming!!!"

Twink:"Fill me! I want it all"

Devon shot out the stream of cum into the condom. The wave of pleasure was so overwhelming. So much, that I lost control for a moment. I didn't know what was happening.

I opened my eyes. Still as Devon. Good. But I was back in control. But I was alone here. I couldn't feel Devon

"DEVON?!?"

Twink:"Right here. You pushed my soul out of my body, dude. If the guy here wasn't as welcoming you would have me erased or something"

Me:"I'm so sorry. I didn't think that would happen."

Devon:"It's fine. This guy's soul is asleep or maybe gone? I don't know. But I can't hear him now. Dude! I could feel my body's orgasm and his orgasm at the same time. I can assure you, that this is definitely the best I'll ever feel. So overwhelming."

Me:"Shit, dude. We gotta figure out how to get you put of there. Or you might be stuck"

Devon:"What if we wait for a bit? I kinda wanna try having sex with my body."

Me:"Kinky. You wanna get pounded too?"

Devon:"Guess I'm not so straight anymore, right?"

After our first fucking session, Devon passed out from all the sex. We still didn't know where this guy's soul was, but we would figure that out soon. I was just happy that I was finally alive. And I even have a boyfriend now? If that's what I can call Devon. Not to put labels on our relationship or anything

I grabbed the first pair of shorts from the floor I could find. Still sweaty from the sex, I headed to the kitchen to get myself a drink of water.

I was interrupted by a dark figure in the corner of the room

"Hello, son"

I was full of rage. But I can't fuck it up now. If I kill him, I won't know where his mom is and that would take me another decade to find her.

"Hey, dad. How was your holiday"

"Oh wonderful. Rome is your mother's favourite place to visit"

I tried to act as much as possible. Devon was in his room in a wrong body, so that wouldn't help me.

"Did you go to Colosseum this time?"

"Oh, we sure did." The father responded. But in the matter of seconds his expression changed. He was now holding a gun pointed at me

"What are you doing, dad?!"

"Devon knows we went to Bahamas"

Fuck. So he knew all along that I'm not Devon. But how?

"Me and my wife found out that the folk like you, who want to have your revenge for what we did, come back as ghosts to make our lives a living hell."

"So I'm not the first one?"

"Hahaha. Of course you're not. The first one came when Devon was 2 years old. Of course he doesn't remember, but that was a nasty one. All the paranormal stuff. We didn't know what we were dealing with back then. But now, oh we are used to deal with you. But possessing Devon is a first. Some possessed us and tried to kill us, but obviously failed."

"How can you tell that I'm not him? Besides the question."

"Oh it's an aura thing. Once you have the experience and a good guidance, you can just tell when a soul isn't in their rightful place."

"Now, tell me. Did Devon put up a lot of fight? Your answer will change the course of your torture."

"Devon is ok. He's in the body of the guy downstairs. It was an accident"

"Sure it was. That would make sure that we couldn't kill you or him, right? We're not so stupid, mister. Although I will not enjoy killing my son, there is no other choice."

"If you kill me, I will go after you even more. I have for the past 20 years and I will even after you die. My soul will not rest until you burn in hell"

"Sure you can do that, but it will take you some time to get out of this thing."

He was holding a wooden object with symbols

"What is that thing?"

"That mister, is your prison. It will bind you inside, until it breaks, or someone opens it on purpose. Which happens rarely if you ask me."

"You're doing a big mistake. Devon is in his room in a different body. Let him atleast get his body back."

"I can't take that chance. Me and my wife have a life to live up to and we won't stop just because our son got himself in some trouble and can't handle it."

"It's your son! You would kill him just so you can continue your killing spree?"

"Oh, definitely. Having a child is a great thing, but taking a life. That's something you won't ever forget about. The control it gives you."

"You're sick. No parent would ever do this to their child"

From the hallway a second voice spoke:"Oh these two are a chatty couple, right honey? So chatty chatty. But we need to hurry up, so get on with this" the mother said towards her husband

I could feel a horrible pain in my chest. Feelings very similar to the ones I felt 20 years ago. This couple was killing me again

"Sorry Devon. We couldn't have done anything" father said

"Devon hates you too!" I screamed out

"You're talking too much" and then nothing.

I don't know for how long this continued. I don't even know what they did with Devon's beautiful body. How they got rid of it.

Soon I started to feel walls around me. Walls? As a ghost I wouldn't be able to. Except if this is their prison that they were talking about.

I opened my eyes. There was only darkness. Nothing else. I looked around and on the other side of my prison was someone sitting, crying.

I got up to approach this person. He looked up

It was Devon. He was crying

"Paul! They killed me. My own mother slit my throat. I told her it's me. But she just killed me and trapped me into thus thing."

"I'm so so sorry, Devon. I never wanted any of this. I wanted revenge for them. But they were ready. They knew. Your father didn't listen to me too. He didn't care. I told him about your soul. But they are more sadistic then I thought"

"Paul, I'm dead. My parents killed me. My OWN PARENTS!"

"Devon, they are horrible people. And we will get our lives back. Maybe not our old lives, but we will. But first we have to get out of here. We're gonna get through this together. Ok?"

Devon collapsed into my arms. I was just glad that I could hold someone even if I was a ghost now. We were gonna get out of here, but I had no idea how

Outside of the ghost trap, the world went by.

Devon's father held the trap tightly as he watched his old house burn. His wife held her head on his shoulder.

"Ahhh, I think I might miss Devon. He gave our life some order"

"He limited us. We couldn't ve ourselves all the time. Now we can. What do you say we go pick up some hitchhiker?"

"Ohhhh, that's a lovely idea. Get rid of that box, it gives me the creeps"

And as the two of them were laughing while leaving, the box was sinking deeply into the river below the bridge until some human would find it.

If Paul and Devon would know what was happening to then right now, they would be devastated.

[tan1shere]

I HAVE A..A FUN LITTLE IDEA!

what if sugar mommy billie x sugarbaby reader and like billie loves buying things for reader and loves just buying stuff for her and reader is kinda a bimbo but the public thinks they are polar opposite best friends. not knowing that same night reader put lingerie on that billie bought for her and billie tear it off to eat her out then later fuck her (with strap)

crazy big brain moment when thinking about if i should be a sugar baby or not

A Little Secret

Sugar mommy Billie Eilish x sugar baby fem reader !

A/n: duhrrr omg I adore this, and GURL you're so very real for that last statement 😫 I really hope I did a good job !!!! And that you like it 😊

Summary: it was all top secret what you and billie truly were. Definitely not just friends.

Warnings: Slight age difference ? (B30,R21) fingerings, eating out, let me know if i missed anything !!

Masterlist

You could come out and just say that the two of you are dating. But people would soon realize there was something more going on. So. You both had to keep it as secret as possible. Not to mention how obvious the age gap was.

And you managed to, it was especially hard when you wanted to post and flaunt all the pretty gifts she'd get you. All you wanted to do was show how thankful you were of her. You wanted to show her off even if the situation wasn't as normal so you two see it. But you both didn't care, you were insanely happy.

One day you were getting ready to go out to the mall. You open your car door to be met with some roses and a prezzie. With a note from Billie saying.

"I wanna be the reason you slightly tilt your phone away from others when you read it" - Have a good day sweet angel ;)

That was a constant thing she'd do, leaving gifts for you, especially with a cheeky note.

"Hey Bub, look what I got." She says with the widest grin. "Whatcha get." You say sitting up from the couch. She had a black handbag in hand, it was beautiful. She turns it around, smirking as your eyes gleam at the designer symbol. You look at her, looking at that sexy smirk of hers, her eyes. You quite literally pounce at her, kissing her lips. "This is gorgeous Bill!" You beamed as you go to grab it, looking at it. The compartments.

"Exactly like you baby." You blush ever so slightly, as you keep looking at it. You were truly mesmerized. "You can use it for our date night tomorrow." She then says leaning on the couch. "Where are we going!?" You had so much enthusiasm she adored it. It made her feel truly happy. "It's a surprise my love." You sit there and think for a moment. "Alright, but I know wherever it is I'll love it." She smiles more. "I know you will."

Tonight was the night, you were currently in the bathroom lining your lips before you put the soft red lipstick on. She comes up behind you, kissing your neck. "You look so good. Smell great too." You giggle as her breath tickles your skin. "So do you!" She soon looks at you through the mirror. "Kinda don't even want to go for food now, I mean. You look pretty tasty." She bites your neck, causing another giggle to rumble from you. "Bill." - "You'll be calling me something completely different by the time I'm done with you."

A blush spreads widely across your cheeks, even more considering the slight blush you already wore. She then turns you around once your lipstick was applied. Grabbing your hand gently and kissing it. "Howd I get so lucky. Daym." You kiss her cheek. "I'm so grateful for you." You say sweetly. "Ready?" You nod as she takes your hand in hers again, taking you to the car.

The place she took you to was beautiful, the building was dimly lit. Only source of light was coming from a few on the ceiling, and the tall, skinny candles on the tables. You and Billie sit down, tucking your feet under the red velvet table cloth. Billie would always make sure the places she took you to were secluded. Just in case any eyes saw. Of course it could've been just two friends. But with the way you two were both dressed, a blind man would spot that from a mile away.

The evening was great, everything so still, calm and quiet. Soaking up the luxury of the building and the atmosphere. When you were both ready to go she grabs your hand leading you out to the car, like always she opens the door for you. Letting you get in before it closes, and she's making her way to the driver's side.

The ride is peaceful you had the window rolled down enjoy the slight breeze. You then get the idea to stick your head out, maneuvering your body out of the seat belt, having your back slightly out of the car. Having it rest there. Your hands grip the upper part of the car, leaning your head back as the wind blows through your hair. But as you got into the position you're in currently. You were unaware of the fact your dress had ridden up ever so slightly. Giving Billie the most perfect view of your black lace underwear.

Specifically the ones she bought you just recently. You hadn't worn them yet so it cones as a surprise to her eyes. She had to stay focused on driving but God how it hugged your pussy so delicately. She couldn't tear her eyes away. She eventually did, knowing you guys were almost home. The things this woman was about to do. She truly wasn't kidding earlier on.

That's exactly how you ended up here, sprawled on the black fuzzy sheets. The softness of the fabric against you skin only adding to Billies actions. Which currently was teasing. Your whine was heard for maybe the 5th time now. But she needed to savor this. Your taste your scent. Her face was right infront of your cunt, having her nose bump your clit purposefully. Sending you absolutely mental.

"Billie-" Your whiney voice echoed throughout her ears, her mind. Her soul. And all movement stops. Her eyes look straight up at you warningly. Your breath only gets caught in your throat, knowing where you fucked up. But too fucked out to correct. Her figure was still as anything, awaiting the propper words. Until you're whining again. Her head just shakes.

"That's no way to talk to me sweetheart." Her finger taps your thigh gently. "Do you not want this?" She knew damn well you did, but she needed you to say the word, needed you to address her properly.

"What do you call me baby. Go on, be good."

A small whimper is heard. Her finger slowly coming in line with your entrance making you snap out of your dazed state.

"Mommy."

"Louder." Her finger slides into you.

"Mommy!" You screech slightly, having your mouth hang open.

"Good. Girl."

She notices your reaction as she kisses around your pussy. "Don't forget to breathe." She whispers sexily, so slow with her words too. Her own breath fanning against the skin of your swollen cunt.

And that's all it took, for her fingers to move so insanely fast inside you. Her mouth coming to suck on your pussy lips, biting just a tiny bit. Your head flew back again, eventually feeling her soft hands move up your torso, so slowly, every action. Reaching a breast and squeezing. Your head starts to spin, her movements rapid.

Everything was happening in the speed of light as your orgasm approaches quick. Sending your head right back into the pillows as her tongue relentlessly moves against your clit. "Mommy, please let me cum.. please." Your breath was nothing but short finding any thought in your brain to be dead. She hums against you the vibrations not helping with the fact you had to hold on, until she grants you that permission you so helplessly need. "Mommy!" You scream out. "Cum." She growls against you.

Billie was so caught up in it she actually hadn't heard your voice asking. Her hands were gripped tightly around your thighs most definitely creating a mark. The way you smelt was like a drug, addictive. And the taste she could already feel on the tip of her tongue. "Need more." She then moans into you, desperate to taste you properly. You hadn't even overcome the last euphoric feeling.

When you feel her tongue stick deep inside you. Your eyes roll all the way back at this new feeling, her tongue was so warm and wet. Mixing with your previous orgasm. The way you tasted makes her own eyes roll back. If anything she was enjoying this more than you. Not to say you weren't, wriggling with pleasure underneath her. "T-too m-uhg!" A moan gets caught along your words as her finger move to spread your folds open, wide. Her tongue moving in and out of you faster. You were so loose currently and she was adoring it.

Loving how easily her tongue was slipping in. Your hole feeling stretched around her tongue. You begin to shake as the second one is coming, her nose bumping your clit as she moves. Making your brain fuzz over with pure pleasure. You gush into her mouth having her drink you like a thirsty dog, your body giving out in the process. She could care less that you didn't ask. Cuz like an addict she's not stopping tonight. Or ever.

She was going to drink you dry.

[merthosus]

Damn Brisket Five...

Summary: You stumble into a deli filled with multiple versions of Five, including one called Brisket Five, who urges you to choose a fresh start with him instead of forgiving your unfaithful Five. Both versions of Five plead for your affection, leaving you torn between the past and the possibility of something new. You're faced with a decision: forgive your Five or embrace a different path with Brisket Five.

Here a sexy poster from Five I fell in love with! With every purchase you automatically support me :) https://amzn.to/3yGK6Fm

"Can I keep her?"

The first time you put a foot up the train-station stairs, your heart was racing. It felt like you were paralyzed as you tried to read the instructions of the railways. Trying to decipher the Minecraft enchantment language you would have found easier. The different colors, which should make it better to understand wasn't helping you either. So your impatient self, thought it was a good idea to just get into one of the trains.

"No risk no story", you always told yourself, but now standing in uncountable of different train stations, you needed to admit to yourself, that this was the worst proverb you could've used in your situation. After clutching yourself on one of the train rods, you watched yourself leaving the station you were. Looking at the display boards didn't help you either to locate your current position.

It feels like a fever dream, every station looks the same, every train looks the same, every fucking thing is identical to the other. White tiles, dirty walls and brightly colored train cards. After your first encounter with a cockroach you stumbled back into the train and made some involuntary pull-ups as that thing was following you. After getting into the fourteenth train you stopped to count. Every train station was empty, no Five in sight.

Instead every time you set foot at a station you were welcomed with mind rotting flickering light and the screeching sound of brakes, which belonged to the train you just got out. Suddently you asked yourself if someone was steering the train, but your fear of see something you didn't want, kept you from it. An hour and twenty minutes after (yes you counted), you had enough. You liked Five, everybody except him saw that, but being trapped in an infinitive translation was too much, even for you.

"One last time", you promised yourself as you waited the doors to open. Suddently Five walked by. You couldn't believe your eyes and hammered onto the glass. As the door opens you squeeze yourself through them and run after him. As he saw you he suddently began to run and vanish behind a corner. "FIVE!!", you screamed madly. All of that searching only to get rewarded from him running away?

You came to a halt as bright led lights blinded your eyes. "Max's Delicatessen", you read. You no longer think and open the door, a loud bell announced your entry. The first thing you saw was Five. And Five and Five and another Five. Your mouth fell open. Three of them surrounded the one you chased, he was standing with the back turned. "Guys you will never believe what I just saw!!", he exclaimed to the others. All of the three stared at me, as the others did too. "Guess we will Five, don't worry", one of the three said.

Even though your wettest dream just came true you didn't know if you liked what you just saw. At least fifteen Five's looked at you, inspecting every move you do. "This is a dream right?", you ask out loud. A few of the Fives smiled. "It's not", you heard a voice in the back. A different looking Five came out of the back, he wore an apron and a white shirt. "Your Five already said that you would eventually show up. You know he Is one of the asshole ones", he says. You still were very confused as he comes to you.

"What the hell is going on here?", you asked. You thought that you already saw the most fucked up shit but this was a different level of fucked up. You heard a few Fives in the back mumbling. "Why is she here? Did her Five lost her?", one asked. As the five with the apron looked into my kind of intimidated eyes, he turned around. "Listen to me dipshits! Continue doing whatever you were doing! I am gonna explain it to her", he said. Most of the Fives listened to him.

Making a documentary about them would certainly be entertaining, I wonder which five had to be the herd leader of the group. "Why do you get her?!", the drunkly looking Five in the back screamed. "SHUT UP DRUNK FIVE!", everyone screamed at the same time. "I am brisket Five by the way", Five exclaimed as he turned back to you. You took his hand and shared it. "I am Y/n", you introduce yourself.

Brisket Five smiled. "I know sweetheart", he said, while guiding you to one of the tables. You began to get red so you tried to hide your face to him, by putting your hands on your cheeks as you sit down on the table. Brisket Five took the seat infront of you and just looked at you, you could read some pity in his eyes. "So... Your Five told me that you were gonna search for him", he began to speak. "Yes! Do you know where he is?", you asked curious, still wanting to find him. Brisket Five took your hand, Butterflys forming into your stomach.

"I hate being the Five who tells you this", he begins as he suddently let go of your hand as drunk Five bumped against the table. The sound of his flask fall against the hard wood made you flinch. "He fucked Lila!", he said slumber. As his last word fell, your heart arches. All the searching was only to find out that he fucked with Lila? "Have you ever heard about sensitivity?", Brisket Five asked him. "Look she's gonna be sad anyway, why being sensitive?", he asked.

"Do you have some baskets in the back", he looks at him, while getting into the kitchen and argue with another employee Five. "You have no idea how much I hate this guy", he tells you, but as soon as he looked into your eyes again he stopped talking. "Look we are all different variants from him. Everyone in here is coming out of a different timeline, everyone tried to fight the apocalypse and everyone horrible failed", he explained to you.

"And every one of these Fives lost their Y/n. You are the first one that got lost in here. So don't mind the reactions from one of them here", he sightly looks into the direction of drink Five. "Their Y/N?", you ask bewildered. A few Fives laugh at the table beside us, they were currently eavesdropping on our conversation. "Your Five is the only Five out of the 23 quadrillions, that didn't had the balls to ask you out. You know your Five is popular by the name scaredy-cat Five. Moste of us don't like him", he says.

You can't help yourself but laugh. "You know if he asked you out before he stepped into this fucked up train it would have never happened. I am sorry that you are the first and hopefully also the least Y/n that has to go through that", he says, while looking down onto the table.

Brisket Five notices the change in your expression. He leans forward and takes your hand again, this time with more firmness and urgency. "Listen," he says softly, "I know it hurts, but maybe this is a chance for something different. Your Five… he’s messed up, and sure, we all have our flaws. But you don’t have to be tied to his mistakes. You deserve someone who sees you, who’s not afraid to fight for you, someone who’s willing to be there without making excuses. I could be that person, Y/N."

Just as you gather the courage to respond, the door to the deli opens again. Another Five walks in, but this one is different. His clothes are disheveled, his eyes look tired and worn. It's your Five. He stops dead in his tracks when he sees you. For a moment, time seems to stand still. The other Fives in the room fall silent, glancing between you and your Five with curiosity. Your heart races as you look at him. "Y/N..." he begins, but you cut him off before he can continue. "Why?" you ask, your voice calm but cutting.

"Why did you do this Five?" Five looks you straight in the eye, and you see a depth of regret and despair in him that you’ve never seen before. "I made a mistake," he finally says, his voice almost breaking. "I thought I could control everything, that I had it all under control. But I was wrong. Lila... that was a mistake, a moment of weakness. But you... you were never a mistake." Brisket Five leans in, his gaze never leaving yours.

"But Y/N, think about it. Do you really want to stay in this cycle of hurt and apologies? I know I can’t erase what he did, but I can promise you something better. We don’t have to repeat his mistakes. We can start fresh, build something real, without all the baggage." Your Five looks between you and Brisket Five, a mix of panic and realization dawning on his face. "Y/N, please… I know I’ve messed up, but don’t let that push you away. I can make this right," he pleads, but his voice lacks the certainty it once held.

The room is filled with tension as both Fives wait for your response. Brisket Five’s hand tightens around yours, a silent promise of something new, something different. Everything now depends on you. You have the choice to forgive your Five and try again, or you can take Brisket Five’s offer and explore what could be a less complicated, more honest relationship. Maybe you’re wondering if you’re ready to continue with a man who made such mistakes, or if you should embrace the chance for something new with someone who’s already shown he’s willing to fight for you. You take a deep breath as you make the decision in your heart.

Let's be real who would you choose?

[sanguineterrain]

Suddenly got struck by an idea at 2 AM but i need your take in Jason's reaction whenever you have a cuteness aggression over something cute or him in Gollum's voice, like imagine his eyes widen to saucers at the tone of your voice matching the manic on your face. Priceless.

feral reader is so real. they represent us all ✊️ gn!reader. mentions of sex, biting.

****

"Mine own sweet prince, art thee here?"

You shut the door behind you and lock it. Jason's voice replies a second later.

"Aye, I am here, beloved."

You fling your things in the general direction of the closet. Jason's home early! This is a real treat, one you can't waste.

You find him on the couch, TV turned down low. You can't see his face as it's buried in a copy of Chronicle of a Death Fortold.

"Good book?" you ask, trotting over to him.

"Yeah, I really like his writing."

Jason puts down the book. Your eyes widen.

Because there, on Jason's face, is a pair of glasses. Reading glasses. Very sexy reading glasses.

"Oh, what have we here?" you say, crouching over him and pointing at his glasses.

Jason gets a little shy, taking them off. "Oh, um, yeah. Doc said I needed some, so—"

"Ehehehehehehe!" You cackle like a witch, hopping closer to his face. "My prince! My prince's beautiful eyes all for me! Now framed by glasses to make him all the prettier! Ehehehehe!"

Jason raises his eyebrows, eyes big. "You... like them?"

"I would keep you in a terrarium," you say, stroking his cheek. "I would feed you the finest grasses and pet your little head. Unless you were a frog, in which case I couldn't pet you often at the risk of disturbing your mucus coating."

"Are you calling me a frog?"

You sigh exasperatedly. "No. You'd obviously be an apex predator, but those don't fit in terrariums. Please keep up, Jason."

"Tryin' to, baby."

You slide his glasses from his hand and put them back on his face. You pull one of his curls loose so that it hangs on his forehead.

"You should let me make you my dress-up doll," you say thoughtfully.

"You wanna dress me up?" He looks flushed at the thought.

You nod eagerly. "Uh-huh. Dress you up 'cause you're my pretty boy. These would stay on, obviously." You tap the glasses.

"Wow. Didn't know reading glasses did it for ya. I got worried they made me look old."

"Nonsense!" You crawl onto Jason and straddle his hips. He moves his book out of the way and steadies you with hands on your waist. "You look very distinguished. You should take me to bed with nothing but those on."

Jason laughs in surprise, eyebrows lifting. "Oh-ho, what happened to dressin' me up?"

You shrug. "Doesn't have to happen in any particular order." You lean in to kiss him. Jason obliges, softer about it than you are.

"Y'really like these, huh?" he mumbles, voice a pinch higher.

"Can I bite you?"

Jason makes a weak sound. "Uh-huh, yeah."

You bite his collarbone, suck on the warm flesh. You sink your teeth in harder than usual, testing the give of Jason's neck. His grip tightens on your waist as he makes a small noise in his throat.

"Are you mine?" you ask, hands threading through his hair.

"Y'know I am," Jason says, pliant beneath you.

Oh, yeah. You're definitely making him your dress-up doll later.

[lustfulslxt]

What Are We Doing Step Bro? - Chris Sturniolo

summary : after your steamy vacation, you and your step brother, chris, seemed to pretend nothing ever happened. that is, until you throw a party while your parents are away.

warnings : step sibling trope, spit kink, very slight breeding kink, choking, spanking, slight fingering, brief (f) oral, rough sex, etc

a/n : NOT INCEST SO GET OFF MY DICK AB THAT SHIT!!! they are not blood related in any way, so actually stfu thanks! this is also HIGHLY requested, so enjoy xx FYI i used tara’s pic bc that’s the inspo for readers outfit

—

It has been a few weeks since the little family vacation in which you and Chris had crossed certain boundaries in a profoundly sensual way. Neither of you have addressed it at all. When you woke up the next day, you were both dressed and on opposite ends of the bed. When he awoke, he didn’t say a thing about it. You assumed he was pretending it didn’t happen, so you did the same.

It’s been hard, actually. Knowing what he’s like in bed and how good he can pleasure you, has you thinking about it constantly. Though, you’ve never been bold enough to do something about it. Maybe you were just supposed to forget the whole thing.

So, you try your hardest. However, you can’t help the lingering glances on him any time he’s in your presence, the squeezing of your thighs when he brushes past you, the clenching of your core when he innocently touches you. Oh, how bad you want him to strip you of your clothes and make you tremble in euphoria.

Both of your parents are heading out the door, as they've planned a small getaway, kind of like a second honeymoon. Doing so, leaves you and Chris alone, once again.

The two of you had planned a party, and you're excited for it. Maybe you can finally get intoxicated and let loose, forgetting about the dooming fantasies you constantly have about your stepbrother.

Chris had arranged for the alcohol delivery, while you had sent out the memo. He had mentioned, earlier in the day, that the two of you should get the last-minute supplies you would need; solo cups, shot glasses, soda, and a variety of things to snack on.

You open your chapstick, twisting the wheel on the bottom to raise the stick of lubricant. As you apply the moisturizer to your plump lips, your bedroom door swings open. Upon looking up, you lock eyes with Chris who halts in place.

"Uh-" He starts, pausing as his eyes take in the sight of your lips rubbing the product in. "Are you ready to go?"

You hum, nodding your head as you slide your chapstick back in your purse. You stand up, slipping your feet into your slides, and pulling the strap of your purse over your shoulder. You look over at Chris, who hasn't taken his eyes off of you.

"What?" You quip, raising your eyebrow.

A slight smirk pulls to his lips as he looks you over, enjoying the way your shorts hug your plush thighs and the way your small baby tee shows off your perky tits.

"What kind of chapstick is that?" He asks.

Your eyebrows knit together, "Cherry."

He's suddenly standing directly in front of you, his eyes boring into your face. You can almost feel his breath on your skin.

"I bet it tastes good." He speaks, his voice slightly raspy and low in tone.

Before you can respond, he's flashing you a grin and turning around to make his way out. You stand there, watching his retreating figure, feeling butterflies swarm in your stomach at the simple interaction. If only you had the balls to act on your desires; he'd be under you as you bounce up and down on his cock.

You swallow the accumulating saliva in your mouth, and take a deep breath, following Chris out. He’s already making his way out the front door, so you follow in suit.

The ride to the store is silent, aside from his quiet music playing from his playlist. You can’t help the sneaky glances you throw his way, admiring the way he so effortlessly looks sexy. The way he manspreads in his seat, gripping the steering wheel with one hand. You find yourself clenching around nothing as your breathing gets a bit shallow.

To retain the last bit of dignity you have, you use everything in you to pull your eyes from him, forcing yourself to look out the window and watch the passing scenery.

Little do you know, Chris is struggling with the same thoughts as you. Every chance he gets, his eyes soak in the way you lick your lips, just imagining them wrapped around his cock. The way you shuffle in your seat makes him think about how you would move as you ride him. Your thick thighs rubbing together, he just wants to shove his face between them.

The two of you head into the store, Chris purposely behind you just to watch the way your ass jiggles as you walk. Every time you turn around to make sure he’s still following you, you’re met with a smirk from him. You bite back a smile and continue with the shopping, Chris following closely behind you.

After the two of you buy everything you need, you head back home to set it all up. Surprisingly, Chris is actually putting in effort and helping you with everything. You thought for sure you would have to do it all yourself.

“Can you hand me that remote?” He questions after putting the led lights up.

You grab the mini device and pass it to him, biting your inner cheek as his fingers grasp yours. You look up at him, only to find him already looking down at you.

“What?” You ask, your voice barely audible.

“You’re just really pretty.” He shrugs as if it’s nothing.

Your heart practically skips a beat at his words, your stomach fluttering with butterflies. You know it’s wrong to even feel such a way with him, but you can’t help it.

You turn away with a slight blush on your cheeks, willing yourself not to smile like an idiot. Still, Chris can’t take his eyes off of you.

Everything about you drives him absolutely insane, and he just wants to have you again. But, despite his deep infatuation with you, he continuously shakes the never ending thoughts from his head, knowing it’s probably something he won’t be able to indulge in again.

While Chris makes sure the lights and surround sound are working, you walk through the house, making sure everything else is set up and in good condition. Everything valuable is tucked away, and furniture is moved out of the way for partygoers to maneuver with ease.

“Where are you going?” He questions as you head down the hall.

“Everything looks good, so I have to get ready.”

Without another word, you’re shutting yourself in your room. You immediately go for your closet in search of an outfit to wear. After a few moments of pondering, you pull it out and lay it on your bed.

You strip from the clothes you’re currently wearing, replacing them with what you picked out. You sit down at your vanity, ready to start your makeup and hair.

As you continue getting ready, you can hear people coming in and the music playing loudly throughout the house. It’s okay to be fashionably late to your own party. You want to take your time, making sure you look your absolute best. Maybe your plan is to tempt Chris, just so you can have him once again while your parents are away.

After finishing up, you stand in front of your mirror to observe your appearance. Satisfied, you leave your room to join the fun.

The lights are out around the house, glowing and flashing colors in place of them. The floor vibrates with the loud music, the atmosphere filling with it and chatter from everyone inside. There’s people piled on the makeshift dance floor, a few people occupying the sofa, and people scattered throughout the kitchen with drinks and snacks in hand.

You hate that your eyes are instantly searching for Chris. Tonight is supposed to be the night that you forget about him, but you can’t help it. Your actions and words contradict themselves, putting you in the biggest dilemma with your mind and body.

Coming up short in finding your stepbrother, you head to the kitchen to get a drink. There, you come across a few of your friends.

“Y/N!” Asia cheers, bringing the rest of their attention to you.

“Hey, you guys made it.” You smile, the four of you reciprocating hugs.

“Of course we did.” Liz chimes in, “You look absolutely killer by the way.”

You grin widely, giving them a twirl, “Thank you!”

Ash pours you a drink, handing it to you with a smirk on his face, “Who you tryna look good for?”

You and the two girls laugh as you shake your head, “Pleeease.”

The four of you continue drinking and chatting, catching up on things you’ve missed. Unfortunately for you, your mind is still stuck on Chris. You have yet to see him and it’s a bit of a bummer, but you’re forcing your feelings down with alcohol.

You’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had, simply enjoying the feeling of being intoxicated. It’s been quite some time since you were able to have fun like this with your friends, so you do your best to forget about Chris.

“Wanna dance?” Ash asks you, grabbing your hand.

You nod with a smile, letting him guide you to the crowd of dancers. Your relationship with him has always been different. You’ve never hooked up, and there aren’t any feelings, but you both get close and flirty. Maybe this would be a good time to get Chris’ attention.

Ash pulls you close, placing a hand on your back. You hold your cup in one hand, wrapping the other around his neck. You move sensually to the beat before turning around and placing your back against him. And as if the universe is working overtime, the second you do that, you lock eyes with Chris.

He’s sitting on the couch with his legs spread and a cup in his hand. He looks absolutely delicious with his black jeans, white long sleeve shirt with a black short sleeve layered on top, and his camouflage beanie.

His face is expressionless as he watches you dance with another man. He yearns to take his spot, being the one to dance with you like that. It’s torturous for him, not being able to be close with you in the way that he so desperately craves.

no matter what i do,

all i think about is you.

even when i’m with my boo,

boy, you know i’m crazy over you.

You sing the lyrics, mindlessly directing them at Chris as you hold each other’s eyes. His gaze trails over your entire body, turned on by your revealing outfit, yet furious at the thought of other guys eye fucking you the way he is.

He shuffles in his seat, adjusting his jeans at the crotch, already feeling a hard on coming in. He hates how easily you get him going, especially knowing that he can’t do anything about it.

Watching as Ash’s hands roam your body, Chris brings his cup to his mouth and downs the harsh contents. It’s becoming unbearable for him to see you like this with someone else. He’s growing more and more frustrated, itching to put a stop to it.

So he does.

He gets up, walking over towards you. Your eyes widen the slightest bit, your head tilting up to look at him as he’s not directly in front of you.

“Beat it. I need to talk to her, kid.” Chris says, directing his sentence at Ash.

Ash lightly scoffs, “Can’t you do it when we’re done?”

“No. Get lost.”

Reluctantly, he does as Chris says, leaving the two of you alone in the crowd of people. Chris nods his head to the hall, silently telling you to lead the way. You make your way down the vacant hallway, Chris hot on your tail.

Just as you’re about to say something, he pulls you into his room and shuts the door.

“What are you wearing?” He asks, leaving you appalled.

“What?”

He throws his hand up, gesturing towards your dress. “What is this?”

You furrow your brows, completely flabbergasted, “Chris, what the fuck? It’s very obviously a dress.”

“Why are you acting dumb?” He questions, incredulously. “The fuck are you wearing it for?”

You roll your eyes and lean against his dresser, only for him to follow you. “It’s a party, I can wear whatever I want.”

“No you can’t.” He bluntly states, only to receive a blank stare from you. “Take it off.”

You choke on your saliva, your cheeks immediately flushing, “What?”

“You heard me.” He bites back, crossing his arms.

Despite your increasing heartbeat, you shake your head, “You can’t just say that.”

“Why not? S’not the first time.” He casually shrugs.

Your heart stings a bit at his words, and you’re suddenly reminded of what happened last time. How he pretended nothing ever did.

“Exactly.” You mutter, looking away from him.

He feigns a pout, grasping your chin and turning your head back towards him. “Aw, are you upset that we didn’t wake up cuddling? That I didn’t buy you flowers and ask you to be my girlfriend?”

You forcefully push his hand away, now extremely aggravated with his taunting. Obviously, you know that’s entirely off the table. There’s not a single chance the two of you could work together, it’s simply unattainable.

“You don’t have to be a dick.” You tell him.

He smirks, “Then just let me give it to you.”

Your face heats up instantly at the thought, and even though you want it so bad, you feel as if you need to turn it down.

With a shake of your head, you simply decline, “No.”

“Oh, come on. I know how bad you want it. You think I don’t hear you moaning my name in your sleep? When you shower?”

You flush with embarrassment, putting your head down in an attempt to hide your humiliation.

“Kid, I’m not tryna make fun of you.” He gently speaks, “M’just saying you don’t need to lie to yourself.”

“Chris—“

“Shh.” He cuts you off, running his hand up your thigh. “Just let me make you feel good.”

Your breath catches in your throat as you feel his fingertips graze over the fabric of your underwear. Part of you wants to stop him, but an even bigger part of you never wants him to stop.

Guess which part wins.

You suddenly grab a handful of his shirt and yank him into you, your lips smashing together in a heated kiss. As cliche as it is, it feels like time has stopped the moment your lips meet. This is what both of you have been longing for since the last time you were like this.

Chris’ hands instantly wrap around you, engulfing your ass in a tight squeeze, pulling a low moan from you that he swallows with his kiss. Your tongues sensually dance together, gliding all around each other’s mouths.

Your hands run up his chest and around his head, pulling his beanie off and throwing it for access to his hair. Your fingers run through it, tugging at the strands, eliciting a groan from him.

The kiss is feverish and sloppy, showing how bad you’ve both been craving one another. Chris’ hands slide up your skirt, gripping your ass even tighter than before, pulling you impossibly closer to him. You’re both frantic with your movements, desperate to feel each other.

You walk him backwards to the bed, your lips and hands never leaving him once. Suddenly, he pulls away, his mouth moving to your neck as he tilts your head.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” He groans against your skin, his breath sending shivers up your spine.

You whine at his words and the way his mouth skillfully works on your sensitive skin. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, holding him flush against you as he sucks and nips at your throat.

You tug him back by his hair, your hands instantly dropping to the hem of his shirt. He helps you in removing it before doing the same to you, leaving you both topless. He groans at the sight of your bare chest, your perky tits sitting pretty just for him.

He takes them and squeezes them in his palms, your hard nipples rubbing against the center of his hands. You softly moan at the sensation, your hands gripping his biceps. Your skin burns beneath his touch, your center throbbing with need as your arousal soaks your panties.

“Been waiting forever for this.” He admits in a low voice.

You’re breathless from his touch, “What took you so long?”

“Wanted to see if you would cave first, but then I saw you dancing with that douchebag and I couldn’t take it anymore.”

Your hands meet his belt, immediately undoing the buckle and pulling it from his jeans. He unbuttons his pants and kicks them off, leaving him in his boxers. Seeing his cock straining against the fabric, you’re eagerly dropping to your knees, only he stops you before you can get all the way down.

“Nuh uh.” He shakes his head, pulling you back up. “Get on the bed.”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you oblige and crawl onto the bed, sitting on the back of your legs. Chris palms himself through his boxers as he watches you, licking his lips. He joins you on the bed, only behind you rather than in front of you like you’d thought.

You go to ask him what he’s doing, only he pushes your head down into the bed, arching your back as he pulls your ass up. Your heart thumps in your chest, your pussy clenching in anticipation.

He audibly groans at the sight of your skirt barely covering your ass, your wet panties on show. He reaches forward, pressing his thumb into the wet patch, eliciting a whimper from you.

“Always so wet for me, hm?” He teases.

You whine into the sheets, pushing your ass back for more friction, only to receive a loud smack in return. Your body jolts from the feeling, a stinging sensation running along your skin, before being soothed by his hand rubbing it out. His hands move to the waistband of your skirt, tugging it down along with your underwear, tossing both aside.

“God, you’re so perfect.” He whispers, admiring the way your pussy glistens from behind.

He brings his hand up to you, dragging it through your folds. You can’t help but push back into him, eager for more. He tsks, spanking you once again, causing you to cry out in pain and pleasure.

“Never learn, do you?” He shakes his head, squeezing the plush skin. “Be patient, or you’re not getting shit.”

“M’sorry.” You whine, your hands fisting the sheets beneath you.

Suddenly, his mouth is on you, his tongue gliding between your wet folds. The sounds of your moans are muffled with your face buried in the bed. He continues to lap at your heat, shaking his head back and forth, his tongue repeatedly swiping over your clit. His mouth wraps around your bundle of nerves, sucking on it as he presses two fingers into your entrance.

“Oh my g-god.” You cry, your legs instantly twitching.

“Taste so fucking good.” He groans as he pulls away, his fingers pumping in and out of you at an extremely fast pace.

Your entire body feels ablaze as it’s wracked with pleasure. It takes merely seconds for your thighs to quiver and your toes to curl as your pussy squelches, your juices squirting out of you.

“Fuuuck.” You hear him mutter.

He pulls his hand away from you, taking his fingers in his mouth to clean them of your essence. Next, he’s grabbing the base of his cock and rubbing it in your folds to coat it in your arousal. He puts the tip at your entrance and slowly pushes forward, watching your pussy squeeze around him.

Both of you moan as he bottoms out, and he only gives you a split second to adjust to him in this new position, before he’s thrusting in and out of you. Your mouth parts, lewd moans falling from it as he pumps in and out of you in such a rough manner.

“Chris.” You gasp, feeling him continuously hit your sweet spot.

His thrusts are quick and deep, your walls gripping him tightly as he shoves in and out. His hands are placed on your waist to keep you upright as he drills into you. The coil in your stomach is twisting and twisting, your face scrunched in pleasure as you take him. A continuous ‘ah, ah, ah’ sound leaves your mouth with every stroke.

Chris bites his bottom lip, furrowing his brows in concentration as he tries not to bust right then and there. Just the sight of your pussy sucking him in is almost sending him over the edge.

His hand wraps around your hair, tugging you up into him. Your back meets his chest, your skin sticking together as he continues to fuck you. Your eyes are squeezed shut and your jaw is slack. Your baby hairs are slick against your forehead, and your face is flushed.

His hand pulls your mouth open a bit more, his face hovering over yours. Your eyes open just in time to see him spitting in your mouth, and you can’t help but clench around his cock as you swallow.

“So fucking sexy, baby.” He groans, his hand wrapping around your throat and squeezing.

Tears well up in your eyes at the overwhelming pleasure of him abusing your cervix. You fall back down, unable to hold yourself up anymore. Chris’ thrusts grow faster and harder, you walls going rigid around his cock.

The tightening in your stomach grows stronger before it snaps, and you’re cumming around his dick with a loud strung out moan. The pressure in your stomach soon dissipates as Chris helps your ride out your high. His thrusts fall sloppy as his orgasm sneaks up on him.

“M’bout to cum. Where do you want it?” He moans out.

“Inside.” You force out, clenching around him. “Please fill me up.”

His hips sputter at your words, and he groans as his cock twitches inside of you. “You’re so fucking nasty.”

He spews out a few curse words as he empties his load into you, painting your walls with his milky cum. He slowly pumps in and out of you a few more times, before pulling out altogether and falling beside you on the bed.

The two of you are left panting as you regather yourselves, knowing you have a house full of guests you need to tend to. You look over at him with a small grin, admiring the way his cheeks are flushed a rosy color, and the way his hair is sticking to his forehead.

Before sitting up, you lean over and hungrily kiss him as if you can’t get enough. You can’t. He moans into your mouth, before reluctantly pushing you away.

“Let’s get back out there before I fuck you again.” He forces out in a breath.

You sigh, nonetheless standing to redress yourself. You’ll have to clean up later. You both start putting your clothes back on. Then, he’s at the door waiting for you while you’re still looking for your panties.

“Chris! Where’s my underwear?” You ask.

“Hell if I know.” He shrugs, “Hurry up, we’ve been gone long enough.”

“Whose fault is that?” You retort as you look in the mirror, making sure you look presentable.

He smirks, smacking your ass as you walk out the door, “Yours for being so damn fine.”

You chuckle, shaking your head as you swat his hand away. The moment you both enter the living room, you’re parting from each other in order to look casual as if he wasn’t just balls deep in you.

You search for your friends, finding them talking to each other against the counter.

“Y/N, where have you been? I’ve been searching everywhere for you?”

Before you can even think to come up with something, Ash is pulling you aside, “Are you okay, have you been crying?”

Your face heats up at that, clearing your throat, “No, yeah, I’m fine.”

He stares suspiciously at you for a moment before nodding. He goes to lead you back to the group and, only then, do you notice how drunk he is from the way he’s stumbling.

“Ash, what the fuck?” You mumble.

“Yeah,” Asia begins, “He’s had a lot to drink. Speaking of, um, you’re out of vodka now.”

Your eyes widen at that information. Before you can say anything, Chris has his arm around Ash, helping him stand up.

“Here, come on. Let’s get you some fresh air.” He says, guiding him to the front door.

You furrow your eyebrows as you watch him, before ultimately turning back to your friends to see what they’ve been up to.

Chris stops Ash at the door, turning him back to see you guys. He pats him on the back, before pointing over at you, “See your little friend over there? Yeah, Y/N. Wanna know something funny? That entire time you were talking to her, my kids were dripping down her thighs.”

Ash’s head snaps over to Chris, his eyes wide, “What?!”

“Yep. Should’ve seen her, begging me to fill her up.” Chris grins, taunting the guy.

“You’re not serious.”

Chris smirks, digging in his pocket. He pulls out your black lacy panties, dangling them in front of Ash’s face. Only then do you look back over them, and your jaw drops as the two look from your panties over to you, Chris with a sinister look in his eyes, Ash with eyes wide as saucers.

“Oh my fucking god.”

—

a/n : matt series nextttt!!

taglist : @luv4kozume @worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie @sturniolowhore @creamoncreamoncream2 @lvrsparadise @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @tillies33ssss @chrissfavwh3re @its-jennarose @sophssturn @defnotayonna @ksskianshd @d0wnbad4chris @braindead4l @avasturn @knowingnothingnoel @luverboychris @remussbitch @stunza @rootbeerworshiper @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @strnlsblog @keira324 @domaniquessidehoe @mattslolita @junnniiieee07 @pepsienthusiasts @gamermattsgf @cupidsword @iloveneilperry @leprechaunbirthdaygirl @luul223 @matt444nixi @sturniololol @evieolo @dlyansworld @luv2matt @nmegamett20

[room-surprise]

New Ryoko Kui Interview from Anime Expo 2024 (Summary/Commentary)

This interview is unintentionally hilarious. It's much shorter than the other interview, and every question was met with either a polite non-answer or a flat-out "No." Kui embodied this elf lady she drew for the entire thing:

Kui really wasn't having any of it. Every time the interviewer tried to ask a leading question about things the fandom thinks are extremely central to the manga, Kui basically answered no/I don't care/You're overthinking it/I wasn't suggesting what you're assuming I was suggesting.

My summary/commentary of the interview under the cut.

Please keep in mind these are my opinions, based on my knowledge of Japanese social conventions, and how I personally read the interview!

Q: Dungeon Meshi is about the power of eating in groups/family, do you have any food memories or recipes you can share with us that are important to you? A: No. (In other interviews Kui has stated that she doesn't like eating, other people seeing her eat, or watching others eat, and that she used to eat her meals in the toilet to avoid being around other people during meals. This is a common thing people who are shy, bullied, or socially avoidant do in Japan.)

Q: What meal in DM do you want to eat? A: None of them, I'm a picky eater.

Q: You obviously love TTRPGs. A: Uh...Not really... I've never played one, I just read about them for research purposes. (In other interviews Kui has stated she's never played a TTRPG because she doesn't have friends she can do it with. The fact that so many people in the world do have that many friends they are that close to was very shocking to her. She was amazed that people would actually role-play in front of other people. This, plus other things Kui has said in the past ("I'm not good at human relationships"), suggests that she's not very socially active.)

Q: Your fantasy ecosystem is so complex, how did you build it? A: I though about it, and then I used my imagination. (This is kind of an ice-cold burn. Like a writer saying "I wrote one word, and then another, and then I kept adding words until the book was done.")

Q: Do you love monsters as much as Laios? A: No. But I do like them a lot, and I've loved them since I was a kid.

Q: How'd you design Laios' ultimate monster? A: I used the childhood memory of wanting to design the coolest, strongest monster.

Q: A lot of fans think Laios is autistic, especially because of his fight with Toshiro. A: I wrote him to be a normal guy that anyone can relate to. I don't think he's special or unusual. Both he and Toshiro have problems and they both need to work on communicating better. (Kui saying she didn't write Laios as autistic doesn't mean you should shit on other fans who read him as autistic. All it means is that he's not canonically autistic, and you can't say "Laios being autistic is the foundation of the entire manga." Kui saying that she didn't intentionally write Laios as autistic doesn't invalidate the interpretation, it just means saying Laios is autistic is an interpretation, and not a concrete fact. Also worth noting that labeling Laios as autistic might come across as very rude for a Japanese person. Kui may not want to call Laios autistic due to social stigma.)

Q: Tell us about the Senshi fanservice. A: Calling it "fanservice" feels wrong to me. He's just an older man who doesn't care if people see his underwear, something I've experienced in real life. It might make some people uncomfortable but Senshi's just living his life, I thought that was funny. Laios is a bit uncomfortable seeing people in their underwear. (Holy shit. This answer is the equivalent of Kui firing a shotgun directly in the interviewer's face and screaming "it's not fucking fanservice." She's being VERY direct for a Japanese person, and implying that she doesn't like people calling the Senshi pantyshots fanservice, that she sees them as comedy.)

Q: But Senshi's handsome isn't he? A: All dwarves are handsome :) (This is a complete non-answer, and after that previous answer, it's very likely Kui is trying to brush the interviewer off. This is most likely Kui saying "Please stop this line of questioning/I don't want to talk about this anymore.")

Q: What inspired Marcille's dungeon lord dress? Her friends all make fun of her but I thought it looked nice. A: There's no specific reference. I made it up to look like her mom's dress and added a childish head covering. The dress is totally normal, her friends making fun of Marcille is a joke. They're just not used to seeing Marcille in that kind of clothing, so it seems weird to them. They don't actually think the dress is that strange or uncool.

Q: Did you expect the strong fan reaction to Marcille and Falin's relationship? A: I don't think about how the fans will react when I'm writing. (Another complete non-answer. She doesn't want to discuss the topic of Farcille and avoids it like a landmine. Honestly, good for her. She wants fans to feel free to think what they want and have their own interpretations.)

Q: Will you write a spin-off about Izutsumi getting revenge on the person who made her? A: Maybe, maybe not. Probably not. I think Izutsumi's pretty happy as she is and just wants to live her life.

In short, Kui's reaction to a lot of the fandom opinion questions was:

EDIT: Also, looking at the headline/page summary for the article, it's uh...insanely misleading.

"We sat down with Kui-sensei at Anime Expo 2024 to discuss the community of food, why Senshi is so sexy, seeing neurodivergence in Laios, and more." Kui literally said no in response to all of those questions, this summary of their own interview implies that there was anything discussed, and not just Kui telling them "no" to each question.

[ddejavvu]

eddie being the speaker for venom’s adoring rant he eventually goes on at the end of your date when you’re just slowly strolling through a park, taking the long way home just to draw the evening out (but also eddie filtering it because some of the points are VERY INAPPROPRIATE and so venom gets mad and eventually takes over even though you are in public)

This post is 18+, minors dni.

"You're very pretty," Eddie narrates the voice in his head, but he shakes his head and tries again, "Pret-ty. He says- He says it weird, like prit-ty."

"Pretty," You try, voice low and gruff in a poor attempt to match Venom's, "Like that?"

"Spot on," Eddie laughs, and you let your chest shake with giggles as you roam down the sidewalk, "And he says your dress makes him think of blood, which," Eddie grimaces, "I'm sure, in his mind, is a compliment."

"Hm," You hum, glancing down at the red fabric you're draped in, "Yeah, I'll choose to take that kindly."

"And he wants to- woah," Eddie's eyes go wide and his hand tightens around your own momentarily, "Uh, hold your hand."

"What?"

"He wants to hold your hand!" Eddie insists, "And- Jesus, Venom! And tuck you into bed."

"I said fuck!" A voice roars from deep inside of Eddie's chest, and before you know it black ooze is emerging from your boyfriend's skin. You panic, yanking Eddie-turned-Venom into an alleyway between two apartment buildings and praying that no one is watching you.

"I said I wanted to fuck you into the bed," Venom clarifies, towering over you in the dark alley. If you didn't know him, in any other scenario, you'd be fainting from fear. But the hulking alien doesn't bother you now, and you put a hand over his mouth full of sharp teeth to try and get him to quiet down.

"Okay," You soothe, trying to acknowledge him so that he doesn't feel so misinterpreted, "Okay Venom. That's very- uh, nice. But you can't be out right now, you know that. Please just go back inside Eddie?"

"He is lying, I cannot trust him!" Venom huffs, voice not quieted at all, merely muffled by your hand, "I did not say I wanted to hold your hand. I said I wanted you to fuck my tongue!"

"Charming," You spit, face flushed with fire matching the heat in your belly, "Really, Venom, I- I'd like to, but- but we're out now, and I need you to quiet down and go back inside."

"Eddie does not deserve to take you on dates like this. He does not tell you how good you look."

"Yes he does!" You insist, still clamping your hand desperately over Venom's mouth. It does nothing, but you can't stand the thought of letting go.

"He uses words like gorgeous and beautiful. They are true," Venom promises, "But he never says sexy or delicious. Those are true, too, and you should hear them."

"Thank you, Venom," You croon, moving your hands to his cheeks to tug them closer to your face. He accepts a kiss to the teeth, seeing as he hasn't bothered to give himself lips in this form, and it's a rather odd sensation on your own. But it quiets him down, and he's calm under your touch.

"I'm happy you think those things," You grin, and you can't deny that you're flattered, "But if you want to say those things, we have to wait until we're home. I promise, as soon as the door shuts behind us you can join Eddie and I, okay? He'll say beautiful, you can say..." You fumble for a term, inches away from Venom's face, and he offers a helpful hint.

"Hot stuff!" He roars, definitely loud enough to be heard from the street.

"Okay! Okay, hot stuff," You nod, peering horrified at the mouth of the alleyway to make sure no one is coming to investigate, "That's very nice Venom, I'd love to hear that later."

"I will go back inside now," Venom tells you, and your heart rate spikes when you hear rushed footsteps coming your way, "But I will see you later."

"Later, later!" You promise, and the symbiote can't seem to melt into Eddie fast enough. As soon as the face in front of you is tan instead of goopy, you surge for it, locking lips with Eddie in a gesture you hope looks passionate and not rushed.

The man doesn't know what you're doing, but he doesn't care. He lets you slam him against the wall behind him with a soft groan, and you shut your eyes just as the footsteps thud beside you.

"Oh-" A resident of the nearby apartments scoffs, "Gross. Get a fucking room or something, you'll get an infection out here. Perverts!"

You flip the man off for good measure, and wait until he's a safe distance away to part from Eddie. He looks dazed from the kiss, but as soon as he comes to, he's got a message from Venom.

"He wants to know if he can bite that guy's head off," Eddie drawls, and you sigh, typical.

"No," You scoff, grabbing Eddie's hand and leading him back out of the alleyway, "But we should get home, he's got lots to say to me."

"And do to you," Eddie's face scrunches as he listens to Venom's rambling, shaking his head slightly at a suggestion you don't hear, "I- I don't think that's possible, buddy."

[oblique-lane]

Aromantic writing tips to spice up your romantic writing

(stuff I've just made up for myself, you can borrow)

1. First and foremost, get rid of the love hierarchy.

It's not Friendship < Romance, it's not a competition. People do experience very different kinds of attraction, yet it's more of an endless color spectrum, not a pyramid to climb??? Which leads us to

2. Pick a color and play with saturation.

Don't do the "I love you more than a friend". What you actually mean is "I love you differently and I want to change terms, because I'm afraid my color of love is more saturated than I thought." Let it be painfully purple or sparkly yellow or grey, characters can experience different love towards different characters. What matters is the INTENSITY. And yes, common friendship CAN be intense as fuck.

3. Never undress your character for sex.

"The desire is stronger when it cannot be fully satisfied", so unless you're writing smut specifically, maybe try writing allegorical sex? There's a lot of things to choose from: beating the shit out of eachother, cutting hair, cooking, clinical procedures, stabbing, solving a murder, you name it! Put the accent on the characters' emotions and reactions rather than their obvious body parts.

Also bonus points if they don't realise that this intense intimate thing they just did is considered sensual.

4. Write closure that doesn't actually mean much.

I mean closure always means something. That the person likes another one. But people CAN and DO adore, lightly touch and hug eachother without it meaning that they want another person romantically or sexually. Sometimes people just see aesthetic beauty in someone. Sometimes they just want to be held. Make those guys have a hot and steamy sumo fight in the sauna that will strengthen their platonic bond!!!

5. Don't address what kind of love they're having.

For a change you may try making these characters love eachother in a way that doesn't require the "are we friends or are we lovers" discussion. Sometimes it's irrelevant. Sometimes it's just people who want to be together forever and dwelling on fitting in the box won't bring anything useful.

6. Some people don't love.

Sometimes a person can enjoy being around someone without loving them. Explore that possibility. Why? What is it that makes B important in the eyes of A who is unable to love or relate? What If both of them are unloving?

7. The absence of love is indifference.

If someone still cares about someone, it cannot the opposite of love. Try switching the love formula with hate or envy or fear or hunger. You'll see that in some way it still kind of works??? As long as they're feeling REALLY intensely about this.

8. Forget the misunderstanding/betrayal cliches!!!

There's nothing more satisfying than promising to run away together AND PROCEED. Or when someone overhears and misunderstands another but still STOPS and LISTENS. Emotional maturity is soooo sexy!!

9. Don't put romantic partners over friends.

Make them be friends and be close all together. A partner is ALSO a friend. Make them not jealous, make all 3+ of them be open and comfortable with eachother, don't be afraid of sharing the time and attention because everyone in the group love and respect each other! Even if your relationships maybe on slightly different terms! Your mutual friend can make a very big and meaningful gift for your partner and it's beautiful! That's something to cherish!

Also DON'T LIE IF SOMETHING COMES UP, just TALK it out like adults, please!!!

10. Don't be scared of het.

There's nothing wrong with a woman and a man loving each other. What you actually probably have problem with is misogyny and sticking to the same patriarchal norms over and over again. These are NOT built in het inherently!!! What you should actually focus on is their personalities and love/respect for eachother that would be in character, not in the rule book.

Also don't try to turn the tables in attempt to fix the stereotypes. By making a butch x wet cat malewife pair (when in canon neither of them are it??) (JUST because you have problem with fem women loving masculine men) you're not really fixing it, that's still a patriarchal power fantasy. Look deeper.

Yeeeaaa that's about it for now.

[astrallytadpoled]

Companion Underwear Tier List

Do you know how hard it was to put this together? Did I at any point think I'd be sitting here overthinking underpants? No. Never. I hope all my teachers are proud of me!

Underwear was assessed based on FOUR criteria: sex appeal, description, bulge/clam protection, and bondage appeal.

Are you ready for the break down? Of course you are.

More under the cut!

First up, Lae'zel.

Sex appeal: That is quite the sexy underwear. It being leather means everything is swampy down there, though. BUT that would be a perk for some of you heathens. 9/10 Description: Built for function rather than fun. What? Have you SEEN that thing? Imagine the wedgies you get trying to fight in it! 6/10 Bulge/clam protection: It covers the most important bits, and it's leather, but enough is uncovered that a direct groin hit would hurt 6/10 Bondage Appeal: Leather? Straps? Tie me up, mommy. 10/10 FINAL SCORE: 31/40, or 78% or C

Shadowheart:

Sex appeal: They're a nicely made matching set of underwear 8/10 Description: If pants could brood… Absolutely fucking hilarious 10/10 Bulge/clam protection: Material seems weak, and it doesn't provide good coverage 6/10 Bondage appeal: Pretty generic mildly sexy underwear with a bit of an edge. 7/10 FINAL SCORE: 31/50 or 77% or C

Astarion:

Sex appeal: It's Astarion I'd be eaten alive if I don't give this a 10/10 Description: Embroidered into the cloth: 'If you're reading this, you managed to bed or behead me. Either way, you got lucky.' Made me laugh out loud irl, so 10/10. Bonus 5 points since he embroidered them himself (effort wins points from me ok) Bulge/clam protection: Look it's cloth. No protection there. And it shows his butt wrinkles (+2 for butt wrinkles) 6/10 Bondage appeal: Generic tighty-not-whities do with them what you will. 6/10 FINAL SCORE: 37/40 or 92% or A

Gale:

Sex appeal: Sorry, Gale. That waist. 7/10 Description: Energy crackles around these. Gale wouldn't… Surely he didn't enchant his… Description? Funny. 10/10. But one has to wonder what sort of enchantment he went for. Prestidigitation? Or some sort of temperature control? A smart man would go for prestidigitation. Extra 7 points for the enchantment. Bulge/clam protection: It's cloth, but he's got good coverage going AND they're magic9/10 Bondage appeal: Who likes shorts? Are shorts bondage-able? 3/10 FINAL SCORE: 36/40 or 90% or A

Wyll

Sex appeal: Bonus for cut, but I gotta ding you for the drawstring. Sorry, Wyll. 6/10 Description: Long may these gird the Blade of Frontiers. Yes, yes, we know. You're the Blade of Frontiers. Makes it sound they're his only pair of underpants, too! 5/10 Bulge/clam protection: It's cloth. Do you think Mizora protects his bulge in any way? I doubt it. 3/10 Bondage appeal: They're white underpants. 2/10 FINAL SCORE: 16/40 or 40% or D

Karlach

Sex appeal: It's Karlach, she's by default hot. Look at the cut! The straps! 9/10 Description: How do these not burn off? THAT IS A GOOD QUESTION, GAME, and now I'm wondering too. 9/10 Bulge/clam protection: Coverage is not that great BUT, they can take the heat. They should probably grant some sort of fire immunity or something. Larian, fix this. 8/10 Bondage appeal: They look pretty bondage-y, but also Mama K. 7/10 FINAL SCORE: 33/40 or 82% or B

Halsin

Sex appeal: To be honest it looks like he's wearing something a size too small, Halsin, hun, give your crotch room to breathe. 6/10 Description: Why does it smell like a herb garden? So at least we know he keeps it clean? Unless HE smells like a herb garden… have you considered that? 10/10 Bulge/clam protection: Keeping everything close and tight to minimize damage. Genius. 9/10 Bondage appeal: They can be worked into bondage easily. Halsin provides the vines. 10/10 FINAL SCORE: 35/40 or 87% or B

Jaheira

Sex appeal: The mesh-y vest-y look on the bra, hello? 9/10 Description: Embroidered with little ducks. ….WAIT A MINUTE is that why Halsin likes ducks?! 10/10 Bulge/clam protection: Not very protective, but she goes cougar mode anyway (yes I know it's a panther, I just need that joke in there) 8/10 Bondage appeal: They can be worked into bondage easily. But she's got to be in charge. 9/10 FINAL SCORE: 36/40 or 90% or A

Minsc

Sex appeal: It is Minsc 10/10 Description: Tight, aerodynamic, and built for maximum breathability. Humidity is no friend to hamsters. MINSC PLEASE DO NOT PUT HAMSTERS IN YOUR UNDERPANTS. THINK OF LEMMIWINKS 1/10 Bulge/clam protection: No protection, the hamster is a liability 2/10 Bondage appeal: Lemmiwinks 1/10 FINAL SCORE: 14/40 or 35% or F

Minthara

Sex appeal: It is Minthara 15/10 Description: Woven with as much toughened cobweb as cloth. It is an evocative mental image 10/10 Bulge/clam protection: Spidersilk stronk, but coverage could be better 7/10 Bondage appeal: It is Minthara 10/10 FINAL SCORE: 42/40 or 105% or S