#if you criticize other people for saying ''it will simply take care of itself'' it is hypocrisy to do the same for your own favored system

[bumbled-bees]

One thing that gets me about Lily’s distaste towards the adventure genre towards animation is that…she’s bad about criticizing it for a number of reasons.

First, there’s the personal bias. Imagine someone who doesn’t like horror movies coming in and critiquing some of the most popular films in the genre. You’re going to anger true horror fans who love those movies because you’re not saying anything new or worthwhile. You’re just complaining about the movie for being too scary and having too much focus on horror instead of the human moments between the characters. It would be clear to anyone that you don’t like the genre and gets people to ignore you, and it’s the same thing with her criticism towards adventure animation. When I hear that Lily isn’t a fan of the popular animated show of the year, I’m not even surprised anymore. Me and others expect her to be and learned to stop caring. Because she doesn’t care about personal tastes, why should we.

Second, she doesn’t even offer many valid criticisms. She just says, “This sucks because it’s not what I like,” and treats that as a factual statement that should apply to all media. The worst part, I ALMOST understand when it’s a show that starts off light and fun but becomes more serious as the series goes on. I personally see it as a series evolving itself, but if you’re a person who was drawn in because of the lighter adventures, you’re going to feel alienated as you’re no longer the target audience. That CAN BE a valid critique, but Lily doesn’t mention it. She just says it sucks and acts as the show tricked people into watching something they hate, when it’s really just writers wanting to EXPAND their idea in a new direction.

And third, Lily never considers to perhaps branch away from talking about adventure animation. If she really doesn’t like it, then why the hell does she keep talking about it? The obvious answer is because those shows are popular and that’s how she can gain an audience. But she’s not gaining much of an audience anyways as everybody either calls her bullshit or grow up to learn just WHY she’s bullshit. Honestly, Lily would do better at reviewing episodes of Family Guy than she did at reviewing The Owl House and calling the most popular episodes the worst in the series. You know, make allies with your own circle of interests instead of enemies outside of it.

But she won’t. We know she won’t. Maybe it’s because Lily knows being a Family Guy reviewer doesn’t get you much attention unless you talk about how Brian is the worst character. Maybe this is all she knows what to do and can’t stop. Or maybe she hates adventure cartoons so much that she wants to be the one to topple the genre by talking shit about it…like a freak. Whatever the case, Lily won’t stop because she doesn’t WANT to. And she’ll be the occasional headache because of it.

This perfectly encapsulates the fundamental issue with Lily’s approach to criticism: it’s not actually criticism. It’s just personal dislike dressed up as objective fact.

Lily doesn’t like adventure cartoons. That much is obvious. And in theory, that’s fine—everyone has preferences. But instead of recognizing that she simply isn’t the target audience, she insists that the entire genre is bad and that anyone who enjoys it is just too stupid to realize they’re being tricked. This ties back into her pseudo-intellectual posturing—she doesn’t just dislike these shows, she has to position herself as someone who’s figured something out that everyone else hasn’t.

The horror movie analogy is a perfect comparison. Imagine someone who hates horror movies making a career out of reviewing them, only to repeatedly say, “This is bad because it’s scary.” Over time, people stop taking them seriously because they aren’t engaging with the genre in a meaningful way. That’s exactly what has happened with Lily and adventure animation. People have learned to tune her out because they know what she’s going to say before she even says it.

The problem is, she doesn’t stop talking about it. If she hates adventure cartoons so much, why does she keep making videos about them? The answer is obvious: that’s where the attention is. Adventure cartoons—shows like The Owl House, Amphibia, Steven Universe, and Avatar: The Last Airbender—have passionate fanbases and generate discussion. They’re the shows that get clicks. They’re what’s popular. And Lily is desperate for relevance.

But there’s a fundamental flaw in her strategy. Because she never engages with these shows in good faith, she doesn’t actually gain real fans from her critiques—she just gains hate-watchers, skeptics, and people who outgrow her over time. She’s not speaking to an audience that shares her tastes, she’s picking fights with people who actually care about these shows.

This is why her career feels like it’s in a slow but inevitable decline. People either grow up and move on, or they see through her bullshit. Her approach guarantees that she will always alienate potential viewers because she’s not actually interested in talking about what makes these shows work—only why they personally irritate her.

And yet, she won’t stop. Maybe because she’s stuck in this cycle. Maybe because the second she stops criticizing adventure cartoons, she loses what little relevance she has left. Maybe she actually thinks she’s winning some grand ideological battle against the genre. Whatever the case, she won’t change. She’ll keep taking shallow, contrarian stances on beloved shows. She’ll keep pushing the same tired talking points. And she’ll keep fading into irrelevance as more and more people realize that her “critiques” are just one-note rants from someone who was never interested in engaging with the genre to begin with.

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

i think if your response to seeing people say they do not trust random people to be able to take adequate quality measures for many pharmaceuticals and you immediately jump to "they're brain poisoned by capitalism to think more expensive=better", you should examine your own brain poison keeping you from considering how incredibly dangerous many drugs can be if the dosage/release mechanisms are even slightly off, or that many very necessary drugs require precursors that are outright toxic (and some are even themselves toxic and require particularly strict compounding procedures to keep them from cross-contaminating to someone who doesn't specifically need medical poison). Getting a proper clean room is quite frankly not something even people with the knowledge have access to a lot of the time, people have good reason to not trust a rando to have that. And you do have to account for a rando, because if you just have one person doing it, there's a massive supply bottleneck (that a rando can exploit), and if you have a full system going you need to figure out how to supply that system and also be able to effectively investigate and handle problems and failures in any part of the chain (and a rando can exploit those failures as well).

Yes, people can say "i had good experiences with x". There are just as many if not more people being sickened by improper production and compounding of the same drugs.

[utilitycaster]

I can't find the tags where someone said this so apologies for not crediting but they were to the effect of "EXU Divergence is very good and we don't need to compare it to Campaign 3 to point that out" and the thing is, I agree. Speaking only for myself I think my intent is, admittedly, to some extent less about pointing out how good EXU Divergence is and rather using the contrast to back up the point that Bells Hells were often self-absorbed, utterly uninterested and even scornful of any meaningful collective action until maybe the epilogues, and indecisive in a way that felt as though it should have been lethal but somehow wasn't; and that a story where every choice has a terrible clarity and potentially dire consequences is instantly compelling whereas no amount of screen time can save a story where this isn't true.

But also: I think, as many have, and EXU Divergence underscores this, that the attitude the PCs had towards the gods in Campaign 3 not only fails to be backed up by C3 itself but also fails to be backed up literally anywhere else. It's not a subversion; it's an aberration. The ending of Campaign 3 and the beginning of Divergence serve as fairly obvious parallels; the gods becoming mortal and unable to speak to followers (who, in the case of clerics, do still have all their powers, as we see with Lieve'tel and Deanna) vs. the gods departing the material plane. We see how this does not end the fight between Prime and Betrayer nor does it stop their followers from trying to take over (and indeed, we know that the lower Rifenmist peninsula does still ultimately fall, in the long term, to the Strife Emperor loyalist Iron Authority). We also see very directly what faith means to people who cannot under any circumstances be defined as the privileged few; for all I have no taste for trauma Olympics, it is difficult to look at Garen, under tyranny and forced labor for a century, powerless but for a hammer and sheer force of will, express a sense of hope and faith and argue that Bells Hells are simply following the logical path of someone who has suffered. We see the gods expressly state that mortals must care for each other, something which Deanna echoes in one of the strongest scenes in the Campaign 3 finale. We see a gift given without expectation of devotion nor worship nor even understanding, just in gratitude of someone fulfilling a tenet to its utmost. Which is refreshing after a campaign where multiple characters resented gods simply for not favoring them, without ever putting in effort towards this relationship.

I've seen the phrase "in a vacuum" pop up a few times in terms of defense of Campaign 3 in terms of "in a vacuum, I am happy with it", and while I happen to think it fails on many levels even within that airless confine, the fact is, this all is unavoidably part of one canonical overarching narrative. To look at how the gods are portrayed in every single other work - yes, even Downfall, and frankly, even Campaign 3 itself - and to come to the conclusion that Bells Hells acted with the desire for a better and more just world, and not simply a world that favored them more, is, frankly, to ignore every word that did not come from the lips of three or four ignorant people over the course of a decades-long story.

EXU Divergence is very good. I think it would be very good even if it were not coming out during our current political situation, or if it had come out following a radically different and better-executed Campaign 3; that is to say, it would succeed in a vacuum. But I don't think that's a valuable way to assess fictional works, and I think it's a disservice not to consider the canonical Exandria-set Critical Role works in conversation with each other. You can praise Divergence on its own terms, and indeed, you should, but it helps to show specifically how it succeeds (in terms of consequence, in terms of characterization, in terms of worldbuilding consistency) by pointing to how something else has failed.

[pukaparade]

My Experience Working as an Artist at Santae

Just want to start off by saying that this is simply my personal experience and that anything following the cut is simply my own opinion based off of that personal experience. Readers are encouraged to please employ their own critical thinking and taking many grains of salt when reading another person's experience, mine included. Anyway, my feelings and experiences following the cut.

To start off when I applied to Santae I was really excited to be a part of the project. It's a project that has a lot of promise and it seemed to set itself apart from other petsites I've played in the past. I was really eager to try and be a part of it and participate in the growth of the site and community.

When I joined the server I received the typical greeting - CJ pings everyone to welcome new staff not unlike a welcoming party. It was a bit overwhelming but seemed well-meaning.

There were a lot of little red flags that sprouted up after my joining that I ignored or tamped down writing them off as caused by stress or seeing them as things that could be grown from. (Badmouthing past management, poor communication, etc..)

I can't and won't go into massive detail about everything that put me off and drove me to finally split ways because it would be splitting hairs after a certain point and I also just don't have the time, energy, or care to go through things with such a meticulousness. This post is mostly to warn others who may be thinking of applying what to expect and to cast a little transparency on the work environment. There are a lot of allegations going around and understandably a lot of people are afraid to speak up. I've already quit so that can no longer be held over my head (but we'll come back to this) and the worst that will happen is I'll become a social pariah on the site, or my account will be banned. (Kind of expecting this, so if Kasper #2468 gets iced just know it wasn't by my own hand lmfao. If my KS backing and SC earned by commission get nuked in retaliation ig it's a consequence I'm willing to accept.)

To the friends I've made on the team and the folks that reached out after I quit and removed from the server - I'm glad we met. And thank you to the former coworker who offered to post my goodbye for me after reaching out to me in DM (I declined because I didn't want anyone being ~ tainted~ by association lol) I was in the middle of typing a goodbye when I was unceremoniously removed from the server. When I joined staff got to say goodbye and some even hung around for weeks after parting ways, but since Sky was removed without being able to say goodbye it seems like being instantly deleted might just be the new standard. Not to mention the other artist who was just removed overnight without even a comment. To everyone else, I kind of assumed our camaraderie was as fickle and transient as my time on the team and wasn't surprised to be proven right. I'm sure it doesn't help that (in my experience) CJ has a habit of hopping into VC to badmouth anyone who doesn't align with his vision.

Anyway this is super disjointed already. Let's get onto some specifics.

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"You didn't even need reply ^_^"

I mentioned that the pings were stressful because we had already received multiple about this 'game' and it was getting stressful. When I mentioned that, I got a passive aggressive dm and followup about it afterwards. I will also note that a coworker added an agreeing 'react' to my post about the pings which cj then. removed. lol. I did not reply to the message bc by now I was tired of the manipulation games.

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Commission Discomfort

I held off confronting about this for a long time because I feel that CJ does not take confrontation well and didn't want to make things worse for myself of others but by the end I was nearing my limit and needed to enforce a firm boundary.

I did some graphics work under the expectation that I'd be getting a divine figurine for it and had to follow up multiple times as usual, at which point CJ tried to pin it on a fellow artist coworker 'making him uncomfortable'. This is a common trend with poor communication on the team.

"management" would prefer that staff not commission site artists. This just always rubbed me wrong, especially after the, in my opinion, territorial behavior over me doing commissions. I also dmed some coworkers about it since he said he'd 'tell all the other artists' but no one else had gotten any similar messages from him.

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Streaming in Server

When I started it was pretty casual for art staff to stream site work or personal work in the vc. I stopped streaming personal things after the first uncomfortable dm I got when working on an offsite comm and stuck to santae only work from then on. I don't have a screenshot of my own that I can use for this unfortunately but cj sent a message saying

"Hey @ artist @ lead artist @ lead clothing artist I would like to stop streaming art in the staff voice chat channel as technically the behind the scenes is for BMaC so it's just a gray area, however I would love if you all still wanted to stream but would like you all to stream via our Twitch platform or TikTok

Login credentials will be provided as well.

This is a perfect time to stream with the referral contest live it would be very beneficial I believe.

If you would like to stream please reach out to me, There will be SC pay for streaming, 5sc per hour with a max of 4 hours per day and max of 10 hours per week per artist :dravalove: your normal pay rates also apply this is just additional :heart:"

When the most recent artist to stream asked about back-pay for the stream done for the site the response was a gif of an empty wallet and a crying shimmerint emoji. These messages were later deleted.

further commentary as follows -

The only reason anyone noticed he deleted his messages was because in voicechat when other staff were asking why we don't steam anymore he said 'oh I deleted that' and then said that we can stream again in vc. This was followed the day after that vc by the following

CJ not only shared images to the BMaC in my time, but also would take the images directly from the art approvals channel and drop them into the staff vc anyway to show them off to whoever was around. Frankly this felt like shit every single time and felt like he just wanted the dopamine hit of people complimenting the art. Rarely were we credited during the fawning, too.

A fellow staff reached out to ask why I wasn't around as much, this staff member was in the same vc where he said it was ok again. CJ in my opinion likes to say things one way publicly but then if there's an issue he'll take it to dms or involve as few people as possible. To me his public and private faces are very different.

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Final Straw

The screenshots from above reposted below

As you can see, they're clearly the same, lol. I will also mention that these plush items take twice as long to do and require more revisions than other items. On top of that I have concept art that I can't share due to NDA of the heartstruck concept - full roughs of the pets that I was not compensated for in any way. None of this was discussed prior to me starting the work which is my own fault and not a mistake I'll make again. I spent days, long consecutive hours working on the concepts before I could even start on the plush themselves. This time and the work I put in will remain unpaid.

Something I noticed while I was putting this together is that CJ has deleted at least one message from our dms, which is funny because the message I noticed got deleted is one that I had originally read as being sent with the intention to manipulate -

I have also been reached out to by a former coworker with a 'message from cj' which I declined. Respectfully, I've got you blocked for a reason man. If I had to guess he probably feels like there's something he needs to smooth over to cover his ass but I'm just not interested.

Overall my experience on art staff was quite stressful and the environment definitely felt like there was an in- and out- crowd that was decided by how present you are in vc and how willing you are to participate in the toxic positivity and bobble-head nodding. Also, getting frequently misgendered to your face and behind your back is a special kind of torture.

Anyway, I could probably ramble on more about the time he burst into voice call while I was in there with a coworker and ranted about another coworker for like 20 minutes totally ignoring me before just leaving, or how he's always talking shit about people behind their backs (hi new admins) but not to their faces but I don't have receipts for any of that. Nor energy. And besides there are other places where folks air their grievances and allegations if that's what you're looking for. So I guess I'll leave it here, take care y'all.

[themoreitisreproduced]

To AGE is a Blessing

-as Marisha Ray once said.

In the world of social media, it seems almost a given that artists, who are so regularly pushed to the side and ignored by algorithms, are finally in a competition so fierce one might compare it to the Olympic games themselves. Regularly artists are driven off of social media platforms, away from arts groups, and away from art all together by the social media machines desperate attempt to value the worth of their work based on likes. Is this a modern concept? Well, if we are simply talking about social media, then yes, it is, but the pitting of artists against one another has never been something that is strange to the art world. After all, there are only so many spots in a gallery. Something else that remains similar to the artist who came before in today’s day and age is the need for artists to group together. Older examples might be things such as The Brotherhood of the Pre-Raphaelites or the Surrealist painters, groups of artists who decided they enjoyed each others work and wanted to make work together, as a group. Though smaller now, these art groups have stood the test of time and still exist today, aided by social media.

One such art group is the A.G.E, the Artists Guild of Exandria. Exandria, the fictional world from hit D&D actual play show Critical Role, is a world of dragons, monsters, battles between Gods and wild, wild adventure. Now, when reading this you may be thinking to yourself, oh, so the A.G.E is an official project of Critical Role, but that is not true. Like many of the groups that came before it, the A.G.E is a collection of self-directed artists who want to make the world ever so slightly better than they found it. If that is through the use of art, then so be it. Similarly to their forefathers, the A.G.E utilises new and exiting exhibition states, such as social media, to show the work of their artists. Stretching across every continent and numerous cities, countries, and cultures, The A.G.E brings people together to create art about a show they all love and appreciate.

Again, I can practically hear people reading this asking themselves why. Why should you care what a bunch of fan-artists (most of whom have full-time jobs or full-time education) do in their spare time? It’s not as though the artists there are doing anything new. They are simply rehashing old characters and stories and pulling at people’s heartstrings in a cheap and easy way, as all fan artists do. After all, it’s not like fan art is a real genre of art. Firstly to that I say that is a lot of questions and most of them are statements, and secondly I say, if fan art is not real art, I urge you to look at any painting done in the renaissance period. Most of the art done is inspired by or from the bible itself, and while Critical Role is not the bible, artists have always taken inspiration from popular media of the time. Take, for example, Andy Worhol, who’s many works inspired by popular culture seem to be the only thing people recognise him for. It seems to be that when art became accessible through means of posting on social media, suddenly there was a huge upset about who could be counted as an artist and who wasn’t.

I have mentioned before the rage I feel at the class divide in art. It is almost glaringly obvious throughout history and even more so now, when everybody can have an opinion about every and anything. You will not see any of the pieces produced for The A.G.E’s projects hanging in a gallery. Instead, you will see them on social media, spoken about in friendly conversation, and forming a new medium of gallery and display all together. A medium that, instead of being a large white cube that focuses on separating the viewer from all the context in the world, not allowing them to think about what events might have inspired the artist, allows the viewer to think about how these pieces connect to their favourite characters. The way The A.G.E exhibits their pieces may be a lesson to all museums and galleries – there is value in the digital (not A.I) pieces being exhibited as they are meant to be seen, on a screen. The A.G.E members all have jobs, or a full-time education outside of art. They are not doing this for the money, they are doing this because they love it.

Now, again I hear you ask about the issue of Copyright. What about the original characters? The ones made by Critical Role? Are the creators not bothered by this blotch on their copyright? You might be screaming down with the A.G.E! Perhaps I have not been clear enough about how Critical Role works. Yes, whilst they still retain all their copyright to their characters, the cast and creators of Critical Role actively encourage fan art and fan works to be made and posted about their story. They encourage it so much to the point where one of the cast members is known and gladly accepts the title Art Dad, and they have a monthly show reel of fan art made. They even have a section on their website addressing this!

But what makes The A.G.E special, you’re probably now asking. What makes them different from every other artist on social media trying to make it? Why them, why not a bigger group? I hear you ask why, why, why, and I say back because they are good. Not just the technical skill of the art, The A.G.E is full of good, encouraging people and artists. Many people in the A.G.E are around to offer technical help on project pieces, sit with you whilst you work, or even just play a video game or two. You can feel the human connection in The A.G.E when you view any one of their projects, the time, love, and collaboration that has been placed into it right from the beginning, which is how art should be made.

The A.G.E works very simply.  Every few months or so, a new project will be announced, ranging from tarot cards to a toy workshop, and people will submit for certain characters to be given to make or draw. I will not pretend to know how this works, I have no idea, but I do know, quite simply, the people who assign the characters are nothing short of magic. You would think that only being allowed to draw one character causes chaos and makes people hunt each other for sport, which is where you would be wrong. Dreadfully so, in fact. As I have mentioned previously, The A.G.E is full of good, kind people with hearts bigger than their chests can carry. Critical Role has well over 100 named characters, so the pickings are often wide and varied. You could have someone pick a main, leading man or lady, or a side character who was only in one episode, hell, someone even once drew the fly swatter the cast use, so the choice is entirely up to the artist.

Now, I see you beginning to understand why The A.G.E is so special, and why it sparks such joy to write and view. The need for human connection in this day and age, especially post pandemic, cannot be understated, and The A.G.E provides that. Whether through talking about projects, or leaving support on people’s pictures, The A.G.E has an inspiring amount of connection in and outside of its projects. So you can say to yourself, The A.G.E is just a bunch of fan-artists, and I will say yes, yes they are.

And isn’t that beautiful?

Words: 1310

(Note: This post includes no images of the work of the members of The A.G.E, however I strongly encourage you to look at it yourself. Every members post is reblogged by the main social media account - @artists-guild-of-exandria. As also seen on BlueSky.)

[leontalksalot]

I was wrong about the votv drama

I'll be honest that when the drama first started, I thought it was all just out of bullshit pettiness to get MrDrNose cancelled. So many people in the server have so many bad things to say about Kaiden, the guy who made the document, all those stories and claims about him, I believe them. I thought Kaiden was this unhinge weirdo that came from 4chan because so many other people in the community had so said so many things that make him seem like that. But as times goes on and the drama escalate even more, I just became tired and mad. I became part of the 'campaign' to get Kaiden gone from the internet for good. I was repeating the same baseless accusation that I heard from the server, taking it as facts without question. But now I just realized how much of an IDIOT I was. All those things that people were saying about Kaiden that make him look like a complete disgusting asshole are all complete bullshit to try and discredited and villainize him to make other people to bully and harass him into silence without knowing what said in the doc are true. The whole fanbase is a fucking echo chamber, everybody there are unhinge morons with the same fucked up belief that anybody who speak out on the bad things surrounding Drnose and his acquaintances are bad and deserve to be bullied. Seriously, here on tumblr or even in the official discord server there are people bullying and harassing other people for having a negative view on drnose, and the most crazy thing about that is that the mods are completely aware of this in the server, but they all choose to not do anything to stop it as if they don't care because the people that are getting bullied in the server believe nose is a scumbag, so they let the bullies get away with it. The eternitydev fanbase is actually completely corrupted and became a echo-chamber of insane people. These people have no care and humility, and that goes to the same with drnose. One of my friend's whose a patron told me about how he try to invalidate people criticizing him as nothing but insane and mentally ill people.

And than they told me about a drama in the librarian's discord between Drnose and kaiden and my god it just hurts to read.

(I had to take a screenshot from the document itself since I am too lazy to scroll through dm to find it) If I'm correct drnose is a 22 Y.O. adult and yet this is how he behaves. And It's ironic how drnose tries shame kai as "being negative" when he went and call people mentally ill, just literally being ableist. As well as letting people in his damn discord server to continuedly trash talk, harass and make harmful bullshit accusation to get kai more harassed. Seriously, some of the people made claims that he was a pedo or that he sent rape art to people. I feel sick to my stomach from the guilt and the embarrassment. That I take these people's bullshit at face value without giving it much thought and simply repeating what they said makes me feel so ashamed. Do not believe a single thing these people say. Their either morons believing other morons lies and is just repeating it or they're an asshole purposely trying to misinform people into turning against a kid. These people will manipulate and gaslight you to try and make you take their side and help them harass a kid and anybody speaking about it into silence. To the people I bullied, I am sorry, I am an idiot for even taking nose's side. I was an idiot to believe everything they said without question.

[alexalessandro]

This is for no one but myself (ignore the tags) so feel free to scroll away, but no actually the rat grinders are not like Ragh and Zayn and Aelwyn.

Here’s my essay

First of all, there’s a clear difference between the rat grinders and all the bad kids “villains” turned allies and it’s the coerced factor

If we want to put Zayn datkshadow, Aelwyn aberrant and Ragh Barkrock on a scale of most to least coerced, we would have Zayn up top.

He was literally made to be socially isolated and financially dependent on the bad guys, had his reputation ruined and actively had eyes on him to keep him miserable and alone (jokes on them the acting miserable part was his emo persona mostly)

Then we have Aelwyn abernant, who’s behind Zayn darkshadow simply because she had a lifeline to not be abused which was to be perfect all the time although that’s abuse in and of itself, she was literally coerced from birth into evil “we’re rich so we care about nobody but ourselves and you better not shame our house” bs

Then ragh, ragh is least in the coerced scale but he still had his identity used against him and was actively bullied and blackmailed by his crush after coming out to him

Now the rat grinders.

They. Weren’t. Coerced. Into shit.

Kipperlily copperkettle? The gravest sin her parents made was be boring and scold her for breaking into their computers to look for conspiracies. Her reasons to be manipulated is because she’s mad she’s boring and thinks that trauma gives other people an “unfair advantage” while she actively chose easy adventures to pass. Like she looks like any other annyoing ass white girl you dread to meet that complains about people being on her ass for getting starbucks while the boycott’s going i’m sorry i’m not gonna pity her JUMPING at the opportunity to be manipulated and also actively getting the only person that gave a shit about her killed (Lucy frostblade had multiple assailants)

Like cleric killer killed people in cold blood bot as self defense or to stop apocalypses but cus the bbeg was like hehehe bitch please

She is obviously racist against riz but that’s just my own personal bias

Oisin? Freaking nepo baby with an evil grandma that apparently was bitchy even before the shatter star and might have been an insidious incel the entire time

Ivy suggested fabian wore mazey like a coat and that’s where the skin alive but came from, check the tape

I have weird thoughts about ruben mary ann and buddy, they’re mostly stooges and i would personally put them in the ragh box but also ruben’s death was objectively funny sorry not sorry

All of this to say there’s a difference between my villainy is inflicted upon me or coerced onto me and HECK YEAH MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL I’LL ABSOLUTELY KILL MY BEST FRIEND FOR U WHEN SHE DOESNT GO ALONG WITH THE PLAN

anyway these have been my ramblings I won’t take criticism

[pluralthey]

do you relate to any of your characters? which one(s) do you relate the most to?

It really depends on how you would define "relating" to someone. Do I feel seen, some kind of connection with the character? No, not nowadays. Do I understand where they're coming from? Sure. I try to avoid writing characters I don't understand at all, even if I consider them ideologically repulsive. Perhaps it's only because I predominantly feel fulfilled by my own self-recognition aside from a pervasive sense of not being understood, not feeling connection. It isn't a rare emotion, but clearly multiple people feeling Lonely in proximity to each other, all talking about it, doesn't take away the loneliness. It's kind of why we're dealing with it at a societal level, even though plenty of us are also saying that it's a thing. I don't relate to other people who feel the same emotions, even if I can acknowledge that we share circumstances. We are the same in the sense of the objects surrounding us, but not in the phenomenological sense as subjects to our experiences; similar objectively, but not subjectively. If real people cannot easily elicit a sense of relating, fictional characters surely aren't any more capable. Art is parasocial, a one-way mirror -- I can see the characters, but they can't see me; I can make someone feel understood through the art, but they still can't make me feel understood.

But in terms of understanding where they're coming from... maybe Drake. Xyr slow-moving, resigned disposition is one I can understand. Life wears on you and disappoints you; uniquely, Drake still cares deeply about the world, but simply doesn't have the energy to actualize that. The thematic core of the story with xem is feeling a "true self" pulling xem inward, away from reality, away from other people. No one can see that "true self" -- they're stuck interacting with, from Drake's perspective, a mediating puppet xe's forced to use. There is no way to abandon that physically impossible authentic self in order to make the connection with others, either. That's something that I relate to, which is why I made the character, but there are many elements I don't relate to. Jessie feels misunderstood as well... but she has a critical difference from Drake: she has no romantic partner. Her loneliness is broader than an inner neglect; it encompasses everyone around her as a bystander at best and a perpetrator at worst. There are literally 0 people in her life to represent "the rest of the world" as anything other than an amorphous entity motivated to harm her as something exterior to itself. She has a contempt for others and a habit to assume malice in others' actions, both self-sabotaging, that I can understand. Drake distinctly lacks those qualities. I don't have the energy, or the entitlement, or the unified personality, or the motivation to feel it so deeply, so consistently, and act on any of it, though. In truth, the emotions tend to evaporate as soon as I'm actually talking to another human being (whether you want to call that dissociation or not). She is emotionally immature, and self-absorbed -- literally justified by the story, informed she is the main character and everything was invented just for her. I don't personally relate to these qualities.

Outis has themes related to never being seen behind the art, but they are also emotionally immature, in my opinion, and too invested in other people's approval of them for me to truly relate to the voluntary alienation they feel. They're hidden behind their art because the art allows them to craft a more desirable persona for this approval, not because they literally have no other way to be seen. They also have an ignorance of the dissociation in their own mind, and in their relation through their art instead of through genuine interaction, that I really cannot relate to.

Basically, every character I make is tempered with idiosyncrasies to make them less relatable to myself. These three characters, who seem to have the same issues that I'd find relatable, don't really elicit a sort of catharsis or empathy from me. I hope that makes sense.

[rachels-blue-plastic-hairbrush]

My two strongest RR criticisms and how I would fix them for a potential rewrite! Reference: last post.

Disclaimer: I’ve been writing a book since October 2023. I know how storytelling works. I’m not a professional though! Please take everything I say with a handful of salt.

With that out of the way, read below to hear me yap about Octavian and Solangelo (but mostly Octavian).

Octavian No-Last-Name: Wasted Potential

I could make a whole post on Octavian alone because of everything I would do with his character. Maybe if this does well. However, I am coming from a slight bias with this opinion since I like Octavian! Be cautious.

Octavian had potential to be a good character and probably would’ve been if Rick didn’t write him to be made fun of by others in the cast (the opening scene(s) to Mark of Athena being a prime example of this).

The real issue I find with Octavian is simply this: he died.

In The Hidden Oracle, it states that it’s Octavian’s fault for Apollo/Lester being cast down as a mortal (will update when I find the quote). So it seems like it would make more sense for him to be alive, right? To give Apollo/Lester more adversaries when he’s mortal?

I don’t care how he relates to the ToA storyline: exile him to CHB, let him stay at the Waystation, keep him at CJ, I don’t care. I just think he should’ve been a part to the story. He could’ve impacted Lester’s character too, sigh.

Moving on to his actual death. In Blood of Olympus, he gets caught on an onager and launches himself into the sky in what is described as a “fiery comet,” “blazing comet,” and FUCKING “MISSILE” HELLO? HE’S A TEENAGER, EIGHTEEN, AND HE’S BEING SHOT INTO THE AIR IN AN EXPLOSION.

Okay. Continuing on, what is his death, actually? He just gets shot into the air and dies on impact, when he hits whatever he hits. So he’s alive in that comet.

How would I rewrite this personally? I would still get him caught on the onager and have him cut the release wire. However, he wouldn’t get shot up into the comet. He would get hit with the explosion and fall unconscious, almost dead, and gets taken care of by Will until he’s at a good enough health again.

Due to him starting a war, he gets told that he’s on a semi-permanent exile from Camp Jupiter and that he’d be executed if he shows up. And since Lester starts by arriving at Camp Half-Blood, it would basically force the two to interact. Great!

Solangelo: It’s very interesting

I’m not here to hate on people who like this ship. If you like it, you do you. I’m not even hating on the ship itself here, so don’t misinterpret this as that okay.

Solangelo is very sudden.

One of their main interactions in BoO (the only one I recall off the top of my head) is Octavian’s death, which leads into other smaller interactions between them after. Then they’re just together in THO.

I am aware that there is a six month, if I recall correctly, gap between BoO and THO. I still wish there was a bit more with them, y’know? Like, a few more memorable scenes in BoO, or maybe them not being together immediately at the start of THO.

How would I rewrite this personally? I wouldn’t make them already be dating at the start of THO. I’d either make them start dating at the end of THO or at the end of The Tower of Nero. I haven’t finished ToA yet though, so I don’t know if that makes sense story wise yet.

But whatever! That’s that. Maybe I’ll talk about rewriting characters next. We’ll see.

[1corninthians13]

The behavior of the community in response to the document is quite disheartening and contradictory. I see many people say that they want Kneeby to get better, that they want her to get help. But, I do not see how this can be true with what they have said and done. If people truly wanted her to "get better" they would've sought to understand her and would've voiced their concern respectfully, they wouldn't have spewed their vile wickedness. It is not outrage by itself that heals or makes one recognize their faults, it is not the thing that helps someone. Those who wish for her to "get better" imply that she is sick and if you believe that wholeheartedly, you must see the errors of harassing someone who is ill, right? It takes a good environment with understanding, love and the harsh truths that stem from those things to heal.

Love isn't "glazing", by the way. It isn't being a yes-man or thinking all they've done is right. It is to care, to understand, to be patient. Love is not to lie, to bash, or to seek revenge. And thus, harsh truths intend not to harm but give the individual something to reflect upon, a perspective for them to digest. Criticism isn't based in hatred, it comes from love. That is why it is objective, why it doesn't hold grudges.

The leak hasn't done anything good for anyone. The document itself hasn't brought any good. Harm, harassment and outrage do more bad than good to individuals, it makes them less willing to listen or to see as you do. It makes them worse or prevents them from getting better. When the entire world is out to get you, what you have done feels a lot more justifiable. I believe these events to be acts of malice rather than acts that had love and worry behind them. This is not what someone who wants to help others does.

The indignation the community feels makes such actions feel justified and right but they truly aren't. You can not control how you feel but, you can control what you say and what you do. To act in malice or hatred is a choice. It's a lot easier to hurt than help, there are simply more opportunities for it. It takes a lot of strength to take a stand and do what is right in spite of how you feel.

It is not justice either. The past can not be changed and what has been done can not be undone. Do not veil your malice and hate under the guise of justice or love, say it for what it is. Say that you want a reason to hurt others. It shocks me that people will act in such a vile manner even after reading the main comic.

My opinion on her, her actions and the like aren't listed here. They are wholly irrelevant to the text. What is relevant is you, how you've reacted and what you will do next.

[utilitycaster]

Do you think this episode is so boring because they brought back the Nein and reminded us how good they are? I keep thinking about this as I'm absently watching this episode, saw your post and would love to hear your thoughts on it. Because like, at least to me, most villains this campaign are painfully boring. But the Weave Mind are also boring. That was fine, M9 handled it perfectly and I loved it. Ludinus is arguably the only kinda interesting bad guy and a PC's mom is in mortal danger and I can't manage to care.

I don't find Ludinus and the Weave Mind boring! I don't find Liliana boring either! And I found Ozo Cruth and Otohan Thull DREADFULLY boring but actually, the fights with them are pretty fucking great. I mean, I have a LOT of criticism about the first Otohan fight that boils down to "this was EXCEPTIONALLY poorly signaled and I'd be PISSED if my character was killed for someone else's arc at this point in the story" but Otohan being boring is about the non-combat elements; she felt very real and compelling as a THREAT, just, she could have been a giant blender of magic knives that the party was going to be dumped in for all she had an impact on the story as a person. But I do think it is because we've seen the Mighty Nein and Vox Machina recently and remembered that they're orders of magnitude more compelling.

I think it's really like...I don't even want to say Bells Hells isn't bonded, but they lack something. I think I alluded to it in the tags of one of my posts but there's no banter between party members or sense of urgency. Like, I enjoyed the whole All-Minds-Burn/Myceit scenes a lot, actually, but after Imogen's initial (justified) panic the pacing felt unbelievably slow until we got to combat. I have found that really, for a good deal of the campaign, you have to kind of take things episode by episode and enjoy the good set pieces and scenes because it simply does not make for a pleasing and rewarding whole. The reason I didn't care about Liliana is, to be fair, partly because I think having her die would be an interesting development, but also because there wasn't a sense of "we can't stop and fuck around with mushrooms, LILIANA IS DYING" within the episode itself. No one was comforting Imogen as they ran through the tunnels. The Mighty Nein showed more personality and investment in the lead up to a fight that really, they had no more stake in other than the broad world-ending ones. As someone who's been playing a LOT of Veilguard which is all about building a close-knit team, and who's had VM and the Nein the past month to compare Bells Hells with, that lack is immediately apparent.

I said, over a year ago (possibly over two, I don't recall) now about one of the relationships in the campaign that it felt like when I see a single episode from a soap opera I don't follow. The actors are imbuing lines with emotion, but everything feels kind of disconnected. Like, this is all in a deeply subjective realm, I cannot give you a strong argument based on logic here as it's very much vibes-based, but I feel like when I watched this, my thought process was "BAFTA-winning Actor Laura Bailey is doing an excellent job of conveying the emotions 'terror and anguish over a dying relative' in this line read, and not "Imogen Temult, a character I've been familiar with since October 2021, is devastated over the potential demise of her mother.' " And I never had that issue with C1 and C2. Like, you can call it je ne sais quoi or the juice or the sauce or chemistry or the spark or whatever the fuck but Campaign 3/Bells Hells simply doesn't seem to have it for a huge number of people who have adored pretty much every other Critical Role work, and that means something. My personal thought is that it's because this has been such a plot-focused campaign without strong DM prepping of what kind of characters would be appropriately invested that we've had the problems we did (rampant indecision, lack of party chemistry due to lack of early opportunities to mingle and meld, lack of investment in each others' lives due to insufficient time focused on backstory-related plotlines), but I could be wrong, and ultimately the root cause isn't super important to this question, which is just. they don't have the it factor.

[angelsdean]

you probably noticed this but: right after dean finishes telling the CBGB story, he says “john friggin winchester” and takes a shot, and the jacting joices in that moment are… god. i mean the jacting joices are there the entire time ofc but they kinda give *overemphasizing this as a ‘cool john’ story* to me at first, but in that final moment—dean purses his lips, he shifts in his seat, he stares into the distance… he looks bitter. it’s like dean allows himself to feel bitter about this story for just a second, when sam and cas are no longer looking at him ://

(the exact moment i’m talking about is in a gifset you reposted recently)

Yea there's definitely a vibe throughout the whole thing that he's like, telling it as this "funny anecdote" but underneath there's more feelings brewing about this story. Like the story itself comes up because Sam prompts him to tell it, so it's not even Dean's first thought.

Even Cas asking them "You loved your father?" and Dean's response, "With all I had" is like, on the surface you can take that as a positive statement but it's also pretty vague when you really poke at it. It's like, okay and how much love for your father DID you have? It's not the same as a resounding "Yes, of course!" It's more, "I loved him as much as I personally could, given everything." And I do think Dean loved his father. Dean is full of love and he cares even when people might not deserve it. But, we also know he's no stranger to criticizing his father (as he literally says in the next breath that John was not winning any Dad of the year awards) and acknowledging that he was put through shit he did not deserve at way too young of an age.

Even him saying "damn if he wasn't there when we needed him" it's, I mean, he's literally criticized John for being a deadbeat and leaving them and not answering the phone and putting them in danger before so this line immediately rings hollow. And in the context of the scene it makes sense that he'd say this to Cas because Cas is specifically asking them about John as a way of understanding what a father is supposed to do. He prefaces his questions about John with the fact that HE never knew his father and thus has little experience with this whole Claire situation. He's looking for guidance, so it makes sense that Dean would over-embellish a little and want to paint John in a better light for the sake of telling Cas that "yea a good dad is there for their kids." Which we Know John wasn't always there for them. (Side note but all of this ALSO ties into Rowena and Crowley's subplot this episode, how she abandoned HER kid, wasn't there for him, left him vulnerable but is trying to be there now etc etc. Thematically it's an episode abt imperfect parents and their children). And the fact that Sam prompts the story to me says that Dean was probably just going to leave it at that, simply giving his advice to Cas that good dads are always there for their kids.

But anyways, all this to say, I can definitely see Dean feeling bitter about the story at the end there. Especially as the happy little mood drops and he's no longer trying to "give advice" and is reminded of the case, Claire, and how his own experiences actually relate to hers. It's like he finishes telling the story Sam prompted him to tell in the first place and he remembers, "yeah and that was fucked up. and dad might've been there THEN but what about all the other times he left us vulnerable and open to be preyed on. and now Claire is in the hands of this pseudo-guardian who is also putting her in dangerous and vulnerable situations, and and and."

[destinygoldenstar]

It’s honestly very crazy that a garbage Hollywood trailer makes so many people apologize to Minecraft Story Mode.

My experience with MCSM was that I was gifted the show by my dad as a teenager the same year the news came that Telltale went bankrupt. (It was the summer, so a couple of months before that)

I got a lot more into it than I was expecting. It had its problems, sure, but I was incredibly immersed with its story and atmosphere. Later on it became one of my obsessions once I finished the two games. It was the first fandom on the internet I ever became a part of. It was also the first time I ever outright became a shipper over a ship that wasn’t canon. (Jetra is my OTP to this day)

But in terms of real life, I never really felt confident talking to people about it. That’s because this was around the same time the hate train for MCSM started to arise. Then it became “Pure Fact” quote on quote that the games were these terrible things.

Now in my opinion and from my experience this started when some popular Let’s Players bashed the games. And even then I can’t blame them for simply having an opinion. But it’s because of their influence that their audiences take their opinions as gospel. (That should not be how that works)

From there every time I brought it up I would get cyberbullied for liking the games. And this was true for a lot of people who did like the games as well. We were all getting cyberbullied into joining the popular crowd and that we were wrong.

“Everyone else is saying it’s bad, therefore it must be true”

And then every time MCSM popped up in my feeds, my heart would sink and I would feel sick. Weird part was, while I did become far more critical of the games as a result of the trend… I NEVER found it in myself to outright hate it.

Like I said, the games have problems. They are by no means perfect games, and some of my critiques of it still hold up. (Not all of them though, ones I do wish I could take back) it was talking about THESE games that even spawned my hobby of writing essays of stuff I like.

So… that’s a sad origin story for how AnalyzGolden came to be. Now you know.

I’ve since drifted away from MCSM, simply because I was older and getting into new stuff. I talk about other stuff on this blog, like The Amazing Digital Circus, Ninjago, Total Drama, and quite recently Disventure Camp. And more. I also try to advertise my own stories to failing results cause no one cares.

So to see, after all these years, people like me finally being VALIDATED for our soured opinion on something… it just warms my heart so much.

I became more critical because of the trend of “MCSM sucks”. And now that that’s growing to not be the case, and I became more exposed to some crazy and wild fandom takes on other media that boggle my mind, that I’ve stepped more away from being negative and made choices to be in my corner and simply “Enjoy Something. Because I enjoy it.”

Oh I’m still a critical cynical bitch. And I do talk about my own critiques and problems if I personally have a problem with it and how the writing or whatever was handled. But I guess I’m more willing to hear the story itself out and what it’s trying to do before I jump to conclusions.

I cringe at my old emotionally impulsive self. And I hate having regression episodes of reverting back to my awful teenager self. But I can say that through experiences, I have to thank that for the person I am now, even if it sucked.

So… thank you MCSM. And thank you Hollywood for making a trailer/movie so awful that it made people such as myself finally feel heard and validated.

(Oh and btw, you guys don’t need to follow the trend of loving MCSM either. This doesn’t need to turn into the complete opposite thing. The lesson here is that you are allowed to like and dislike MCSM, and anything really, and trends should not sour your take on it. You can still not like the games if that’s your honest opinion.)

[ritsusakumawife]

Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Fluff to Angst (?)

Synopsis: Meeting Kamisato Ayato was both a dream and a nightmare

Warnings: Minor swearing, ooc, cringe, bad grammar, not proofread

Meeting Ayato completely changed your life

Before meeting him, everything was the same

Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, work, eat lunch, work some more, go home, eat dinner, and sleep

The cycle just repeats itself over and over again like you’re stuck in an endless loop

But everything changed when he came to your humble shop and bought almost everything might I add

“These..Items..Are unexpectedly high quality but yet you sell them for cheap, why is that?”

‘Huh? What do you mean ‘unexpectedly'?!? Who does this man think he is to just assume my things aren’t high quality'

“Oh, I just happen to have a great luck at picking out items, I guess..?”

“So, you just happen to always get high quality items when shopping? I find that quite hard to believe”

“Look here mister! I don’t know who you think you are but if you aren’t here to buy then please kindly get out.”

“I’m just a simple average human doing my best to survive in this world”

“And to answer your question on why I sell them 'cheap' it’s because that’s simply the price I paid to buy them”

“I’d be a horrible person to inflate the price a whole lot y’know?”

“Pfft..”

‘This guy..Is he seriously holding back his laugh?!’ (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)

“Alright alright, I’m not here to fight”

“I’ll buy everything from here to there”

‘What—’

“Thoma, make sure everything is safely delivered to the estate”

“Yes, my lord”

'LORD??? JUST WHO IS THIS MAN?!??!’

After that horrible first meeting with Ayato

He came back a few times to buy some things he needed. What did he do with them? You don’t know, and honestly? You didn’t care. Business is business

Due to his constant visits you soon found out his name was 'Ayato'

With time you and Ayato grew closer with each other

You honestly didn’t get why he decided to come to your shop in person when he could’ve just ordered his people to buy the things he needed for him but hey, you can’t say you dislike his presence, in fact, you like it

He came almost every single day that he just became a constant in your life

Oh how you wished he just hadn’t come to your shop that day

Fast forward to when you and Ayato started dating

You noticed a lot of people started to stare at you. And no, it wasn’t just a glance or something. It was full on staring

They always gave you judgmental looks

You always heard them criticizing your looks, voice, posture, the way you talk and walk

You didn’t know why, until Ayato decided to tell you why, that is

And so, you found out that the man you’ve been dating was none other than Kamisato Ayato

Truth be told, even after he told you his full name you still didn’t know who he was. He had to explain to you about his family and etc.

He found it amusing how you had a lot of knowledge when it comes to material things but know almost nothing when it comes to socializing, politics, and all that business stuff. He almost believes that you really are just lucky to have survived this long all by yourself

Ayaka having heard of the news of you dating her brother decided to officially meet you

Ayaka has known about your existence due to her brother always telling her about you and because Ayato always comes to her to ask her opinions on what to get you as a gift

She was a bit cautious at first, making sure you weren’t just using her brother, but it didn’t take long for her to trust you

And it also didn’t take long for both of you to become best friends

Since it was basically public knowledge that you and Ayato were dating, you had to move in, in the Kamisato estate to protect you from possible assassins that may take your life

It took a lot of time for the people working there to get used to you. They were also of course a bit cautious of you since they’ve seen many people try to seduce their lord

In the end, everyone was divided in two sections.

One side trusts you and are willing to serve you like you’re also their lord and the other side doesn’t trust you as much and still remain a good distance away from you

But it was alright, you told yourself that as long as you have Ayato you can make it through their judgmental stares and comments

Love really does make a person a blind..

The dating stage was..Like a dream, you couldn’t believe you managed to snatch yourself a lovely caring man like Ayato

The newly wed stage was like heaven on Teyvat

The married stage was a nightmare alright

Everywhere you went you felt stares

Their stares

Always judging and criticizing

It was never ending

You thought it might die down after a bit

You told yourself that they’ll stop after a few more months

The people just aren’t used to it yet

You get it, you really do, Ayato is a person of high status so you understand their criticisms

After all, you were just an average person living their regular life then suddenly you were dating one of the most famous people in the land

This particular day was worse than other days

Everyone was much more unbearable it didn’t help that your husband was busy for the rest of the day, again

For the past 5 years that you’ve been married to Ayato you can’t remember a single day where you had spent one day together with him. Just him, no work, no nothing

Hell, you haven’t even been able to sit and eat at the same table during these years you’ve been married

Sometimes you wish you just hadn’t gotten married at all

At least back then you were actually able to see Ayato and eat at the same table as him

Now that you’re married to him you can’t even see him due to work

And when you do see him it’ll either be because you got a glimpse of him through the door before it shuts or if there’s a social party that you need to attend in

Every single promise was broken

“I’m sorry dear, I’ll make sure to eat with you today”

“I can’t just 'relax'! Sigh Please get out I have work to do”

“Next time, I promise”

“Ah yes, about our date today..I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel it. I have a business meeting today”

“Day off? I don’t have time for that”

Your once happy dream life turned dull and unhappy

You kept telling yourself that it was alright, he was just busy with work and will make time for you when needed. Being the Yashiro Commissioner is a stressful job so it was understandable

But..With every single passing day it was hard..It kept getting harder and harder to stay upbeat and think positively

Again, it didn’t help that others was still judging and criticizing you. You honestly thought it’ll only last for 1-2 years at most but no, they’re still nitpicking at every single thing you did

Calling you a commoner, gold digger, snake, slut, manipulator, and a whole lot of other things

Things got worse when the vision hunt decree came

He got more busier and busier and even had to leave on some sort of “trip” without telling you

You didn’t know where he was, what he was doing, is he doing alright? Is he still alive? Surely he didn’t get assassinated right?

It was all just so..Unbearable

You wanted to leave

You needed to leave

Staying in that estate was taking a big hit on your mental health

It’s always been taking a hit. You just hadn’t noticed and continued to look through rose tinted glasses

Your thoughts were spiraling down into the deep depths

You knew you needed to get your shit together

And so, you tried your best to reach out to Ayato

But of course, you couldn’t get a hold of him at all

So you decided to just leave for the meantime

You’ll deal with the paperwork and everything else once he comes back

For now though, you just decided to reopen your shop, get business running, and try to live your best life without him

Maybe once Ayato comes back and you get divorced you’ll try traveling? It’ll be hard to do so with the Vision hunt decree but you were sure you’ll be able to make it work somehow

Maybe an old friend will be willing to help

˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺

Hihiii I’m sorry if this is just absolute trash

This is definitely not the best of my works so far but idk (◞‸◟)

I’m not sure if this even is considered angst or not tbh

I have more ideas for this butttt I just can’t fit it so I apologize

The end..Definitely wasn’t what I had in mind though

Who do you think the old friend is? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Part 2

[transfemlogan]

Let's Talk About "Watering Down Characters" (& Very Specifically Remus Sanders)

I am responding to THIS POST, "Why I think people should be allowed to “water down” Remus", by @radioactive-dazey and creating a discussion around this topic. I feel like the idea of changing a character's personality is heavily talked about and done within every fandom aaannd with this post being talked about, I want to step in and say some things because I have Many Things To Say.

And before anyone says shit: I am a ts criticiser, yes, but I criticise everything about the fandom and show— not just Thomas. IDGAF that we have "better things to talk about", I've been talking about those things for like 4 years now and now I'm criticising the fandom. I can do it all.

Feel free to respond with your own opinions if you're replying to me. Can't say I'll reply to them all, but I like hearing what people have to say.

I am very aware that watering down characters is an inherent part of fandom. No matter what fandom you join or what media you get into, there is always a huge part of that community that waters characters down, changes their entire personality, or writes them differently. I do agree that this is just What Happens when you are in fandom. Not everyone understands source material, not everyone has the same opinions when analysing a show, and not everyone cares about it that much.

Personally, I don't get why you would talk about a piece of media and change everything about it, because then you're not enjoying the media, you're enjoying something completely different. But this is fandom and people have fun in different ways and I agree that you need to learn when to look the other way and let people exist.

However, I run a critical blog and my fun is criticising.

"It can be hard to write intrusive thoughts in a respectful way, so people avoid it."

OP brings up that writers may not know how to write intrusive thoughts and so they avoid it, in order to not "writing wrong". Which is alright to do! You don't have to write about serious topics... BUT... if you are voluntarily choosing to write about a series that includes the topic that you don't know how to write about, maybe... you should take the time to learn how to write it.

If you don't want to write about intrusive thoughts, I don't think you should be forced to, but if you are writing a character that controls intrusive thoughts, it makes zero sense to completely remove that aspect when you simply should not write him.

It's brought up how mischaracterising Remus leads to the misunderstanding of intrusive thoughts themselves and stigma surrounding them. Changing Remus' character is fun and all, until we remember that he represents something very serious and important. It's something that actively impacts people. Which is my issue with "escapism" within fandom (touched on later in this post). When people actively ignore real issues happening within the fandom, or in this case, the real issues the series itself is about, by ignoring Remus' character, watering it down, or completely changing it, you are causing more harm to intrusive thoughts and the disorders that are connected to them.

Let's bring up an example: Jimmy from Mouthwashing.

Mouthwashing is a game about a very heavy topic: sexual assault. You play as Jimmy, the main perpetrator, though all the men in the game have a role to play (bystander affect, toxic masculinity, etc).

The fandom is already watering down these characters and topics. Introducing shipping to a game with characters that shouldn't be shipped; making the characters all sweet, perfect, stupid angels who didn't know any better; implying that if Anya had told someone else then she would've been saved, and it's her fault she told Curly in the first place. I could go on and on.

Obviously, Sanders Sides is about different topics. Obviously, Remus is not the same as Jimmy. This isn't a perfect comparison.

But it'd be completely strange if someone told you they were using Mouthwashing as a way to escape real-life issues. That they're writing Jimmy differently, or completely removing the sexual assault entirely, because it's "hard to write".

This is at best super fucking stupid, and at worse actively harmful (which it is). If you can't write the topic of SA, simply do not write for MW in the first place. The same applies with Sanders Sides, and any other piece of media.

"Writers use writing/fandom to escape real life and may not want to talk about those topics."

This is not an inherently wrong statement, but it does ask a question:

If you are joining a fandom to "escape real-life topics", why are you joining one that talks about those real-life topics?

Sanders Sides is a web-series that discusses morality, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, catholism, and other heavy-hitting topics. With the introduction of the dark sides, with certain plot points and arcs— Sanders Sides is very much about those "real-life topics". If you are trying to avoid writing about intrusive thoughts, writing for a show that talks heavily about intrusive thoughts and has an entire character that controls intrusive thoughts isn't... a bright idea.

I know there's this entire talk about using fandom to escape, which is something I have talked about repeatedly on this blog, mainly when we talk about racism within fandom. When you bring up serious topics, people flee and get upset because this is their "safe place", when in actuality, it's a safe place for them and no one else. They are using the phrase "escapism" and "safe place" as a way to spout racist rhetoric without consequences. We all know how I feel about the idea of "escaping through fandom."

The statement "I don't write Remus in character because I'm escaping real-life" makes me raise an eyebrow, because.... the entire show is about that. You're escaping through something that has exactly what you escaping from— that's like if I said I was avoiding my triggers by watching something that included my trigger.

The better answer is just don't watch.

It's the same sentiment I held throughout the fandom after Remus was introduced. "Can you please tag 'duke dont look' or 'remus tw'? He squicks me out." I respect your triggers and squicks and I acknowledge that sometimes they can stem from strange places and be "irrational", but... if your trigger is an entire character, it makes more sense to simply leave the fandom instead of ask everyone to collectively keep in mind your feelings.

If you don't want to write intrusive thoughts, that's okay and I respect this, but maybe you shouldn't be writing for Sanders Sides in the first place if you "can't handle" what the series is about.

I know Sanders Sides did not start off like that, I understand if it was a way to escape at the beginning stages of season one, but it is more serious now. If it's including topics you cannot handle, then you need to take care of yourself and leave.

This mentality of "this makes me uncomfortable, so I don't have to partake" is such an interesting one. Mainly because people think their uncomfortableness always stems from a good place, a place that isn't allowed to be questioned. You can't get mad when someone is feeling bad, because those are their emotions. "If I am feeling uncomfortable, you should respect me and let me be."

But the issue with this is that sometimes (a lot of the times) the things that make you uncomfortable aren't inherently an issue. Sometimes it is an underlying thing you need to work through. Sometimes it's good to step outside of your comfort zone.

I have agoraphobia, which is the fear of leaving my house and going outside. If I was constantly letting this fear control me, I would never leave my house. This feeling doesn't stem from a good place. I need to be comfortable leaving my house and I need to force myself out.

You don't let uncomfortableness or fear control your morals. Just because something makes you Feel Bad, doesn't mean it is Actually Bad.

Which is why I think this debate is brought up. It's always talked about how one feels about Remus, how one feels about intrusive thoughts.

"What if they don't like writing about it?" "What if they don't feel comfortable writing something they don't know?" "But Remus makes me uncomfortable, I can't accept him."

Your feelings, while okay to have, are not always "valid."

You can feel how you want about Remus, but no one is forcing you to write him. When you write fanfiction, you are voluntarily writing it. You are choosing to create content within the media.

If you don't like the content in Sanders Sides; if you don't know how to accurately write intrusive thoughts; if you won't learn how to accurately write them; if you can't handle the topics that are in the series, itself; then why are you here? Why are you choosing to write it? Why are you in the fandom?

Change him all you want, but a better option is simply don't write him in the first place. You have no reason to mischaracterise him when writing him is a chose you actively chose to do.

Sure, it boils down to personal interpretation and "what you want to write", but if your interpretation is going completely against what is represented in Sanders Sides, then what are you here for? Which wraps all the way around back to my own personal opinion on mischaracterising characters:

If you're changing the characters completely, then do you even like them or their story or source material?

[scoobydoodean]

Do you have siblings, and what order are you in?

How do you view and feel about Sam running away multiple times, and then in 5.16 Sam running away are the only memories he's given? (and do you think angels did that purposefully?)

I am the younger of two and I understand how Sam can run away and how it would only be about getting away from their, but that Dean would feel the brunt of it all. But I can totally imagine my older sibling understanding Dean, but not necessarily Sam's pov.

I also don't think Sam's reasoning is ever fully explained, at least in 5.16, it makes him seem much more selfish and uncaring. I think he assumed Dean was better equipped to handle living with their dad alone simply because he behaved, it just happened to be that Dean and dad were linked - and I don't really know how much they talked about their relationship with their dad till they were older.

I wonder if Dean ever would've considered leaving John and living somewhere near Sam, or even running away with Sam.

I have three siblings. I'm in the middle. Two older siblings and the caboose is 7 years younger than me. So I remember what it's like to be the baby but I also know what it's like to play older sibling to a sibling several years younger than me. My younger brother and I are also very close.

If this was all prompted by my comment the other day that I wasn't looking forward to watching "Dark Side of the Moon", I don't dislike the episode because it shows Sam running off. I do have issues with the episode, but a large part of my distaste for it is that it is generally very depressing. It being depressing in of itself isn't a criticism of the episode—it's supposed to be depressing because it's about total loss of hope and belief for Dean (and then Cas as well losing hope at the end of the episode). It's doing what it's supposed to do in that sense. It's just hard to watch. Unfortunately, a lot of people take the bleakness of it and the idea that Dean is a burden and etc as truth and not manipulation meant to drive him to say "yes", and that also makes me rather sour about it.

I don't care that Sam wanted to go to college, or that he was happy at another family's thanksgiving at one point in his life. The Flagstaff memory bothers me a little because Sam's fond recollection of it, unmarred by any negative associations, clearly suggests he didn't face any consequences for running off once John found him. The fact that he never even into his adult life considered that Dean might have faced consequences does feel rather self-centered, and that's on purpose. I don't care that Sam went to school or that there were points as a kid where he wanted to run off.

I do disagree with the premise that Sam still desires some normal core Thanksgiving. I simply don't think that would be a favorite memory for Sam anymore. Just a few episodes prior to this, in "Swap Meat", Sam sat down with someone else's family for a normal, family dinner and he hated it. He found Gary's parents absolutely obnoxious. He told Gary afterward that he envied his life, only to turn to Dean and say he lied.

SAM I totally lied. That kid's life sucked ass. All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me – we didn't miss a damn thing.

Or observe earlier in the episode:

DEAN You ever think that you'd want something like that? Wife, rugrats, the whole nine? SAM No, not really my thing anymore.

In fact, it's Dean who envies the normal life in "Swap Meat" and several other episodes (ex: 2.20, 4.19) whereas Sam indicates several times that a normal life is not something he wants (2.02, 2.10, 2.20, 4.08, 4.19, 5.12). In 4.08 and in 2.20, Sam in fact overtly states that he would not go back and choose a normal life now if he could go back. In 3.01, 4.19, and in 5.06, Sam also heavily emphasizes the importance of family within the hunting dynamic. I track a lot of this within the tag #sam the hunter.

I think there is a strong argument to be made that Zachariah ran them through heaven like rats in a maze in 5.16, directing them toward certain memories and not others in order to make Dean believe that Sam doesn't care for him (I have a separate post to make about this in more detail). However, I don't believe Zachariah forced in memories that aren't "greatest hits". I think he just drove them away from any happy memories Sam has with Dean and toward ones where Sam grasped independence from John, misappropriated to make Dean feel Sam doesn't care about Dean or appreciate/recognize his sacrifices (the former is not true, but the latter is in fact true in many cases).

Note though that when Joshua arrives and takes them to heaven's garden:

SAM: This is heaven’s Garden? DEAN: It’s-it’s nice… ish. I guess. JOSHUA: You see what you want to here. For some it’s God’s throne room; for others it’s Eden. You two, I believe it’s the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip.

So right there, we have a shared favorite memory, right after (presumably) any potential influence Zachariah had on what memories they were seeing was eliminated.

What primarily irritates me about this episode and many other Dabb/Loflin episodes is their perpetual need to insert the narrative that Sam wants a normal life he explicitly states he does not want over and over and over in everyone else's episodes, while they write Dean as someone who says things like "I mean, we’re supposed to be a team. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world, right?" It implies a sort of desperation vs apathy that, even when contradicted in subtler ways, I just don't find interesting... And yet they seem to harp on the same dramatic "misunderstanding" over and over and over for all eternity. And Dabb continues it after cutting ties with Loflin. In fact he continues to toy with these obnoxious dramatics to the very end of the series in a way I find unbelievably tired and obnoxious and I resent it. He's the same one-trick pony when it comes to his ideas on Dean and Cas conflicts in the later seasons.

As to your last bit there: Dean did consider running off. We see this in "Bad Boys", and in that episode, we also see that Dean doesn't end up abandoning their family because he felt Sam needed him. We hear a similar narrative in regards to John in 1.06 from the mouth of the shifter—that Dean had dreams of his own, but Dean felt that John needed him, so Dean stayed. John echoes this when he says that he was an emotional wreck and Dean took care of him (2.01). We see Dean also taking care of Mary in "Dark Side of the Moon" after she gets off the phone with John, upset. 5.16 casts Dean as someone perpetually sacrificing his own needs for his family, but unappreciated all the while. In fact, Sam doesn't recognize any of his sacrifices. Dean is nothing more than a blood offering on the altar of family. Zachariah intends this narrative and leans into it heavily in the scene where he explicitly manipulates what Sam and Dean are seeing.

MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. The worst was the smell. The pain, well. What can you say about your skin bubbling off? But the smell was so… You know, for a second I thought I’d left a pot roast burning in the oven. But… it was my meat. And then, finally, I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you.

Zachariah has Mary speak about Dean being a burden to his family and to her, but it's potentially more layered than "Dean has abandonment issues". What Mary says about being shackled to Dean—being burdened by her child—firmly recollects Dean's claim to Cas in 5.03 that he's chained to his family through responsibility, and that finally being away from Sam is a relief. This fake Mary says death was her escape from similar chains of responsibility to her loved ones. It was the only escape. Burned up and dead but finally free. There's an implication there that Dean can finally escape responsibility in a similar way, and in two episodes, Dean is going to try and escape by saying "Yes".