#if you criticize other people for saying ''it will simply take care of itself'' it is hypocrisy to do the same for your own favored system

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

i think if your response to seeing people say they do not trust random people to be able to take adequate quality measures for many pharmaceuticals and you immediately jump to "they're brain poisoned by capitalism to think more expensive=better", you should examine your own brain poison keeping you from considering how incredibly dangerous many drugs can be if the dosage/release mechanisms are even slightly off, or that many very necessary drugs require precursors that are outright toxic (and some are even themselves toxic and require particularly strict compounding procedures to keep them from cross-contaminating to someone who doesn't specifically need medical poison). Getting a proper clean room is quite frankly not something even people with the knowledge have access to a lot of the time, people have good reason to not trust a rando to have that. And you do have to account for a rando, because if you just have one person doing it, there's a massive supply bottleneck (that a rando can exploit), and if you have a full system going you need to figure out how to supply that system and also be able to effectively investigate and handle problems and failures in any part of the chain (and a rando can exploit those failures as well).

Yes, people can say "i had good experiences with x". There are just as many if not more people being sickened by improper production and compounding of the same drugs.

[opbackgrounds]

This scene with Sanji is one of his most important moments in the series, and in my opinion also one of the most difficult passages in the manga to interpret, because to completely understand it you have to look at the manga holistically rather than this scene by itself.

The big question that needs answered is why does Oda let Zoro "win" here by having him be the sacrifice instead of Sanji. Both are equally willing and both are identified much later on as the Wings of the Pirate King, implying that they have similar importance (although vastly different roles) within the Straw Hat crew.

If we go back to Sanji's introduction on the Baratie, his big flaw was that he lacked the "spear of spirit" to pursue his dream. Since he's been a boy he's wanted to find the All Blue, but even when he had the opportunity to go after that dream he chose to stay on the Baratie out of a feeling of obligation to Zeff. Sanji put the continued existence of the restaurant over his own life, something Luffy rightfully called him out for at the time, and even at the end of the arc had to be pushed away by Zeff and the other chefs before he finally set sail for good.

On Drum, Sanji once again almost died protecting Nami and Luffy during the avalanche, resulting in a broken back that required surgury from Dr. Kureha. Luffy again calls him out (note the English translation here isn't entirely accurate, see here for a breakdown), and with his power there's a good chance Luffy could have gotten them all out of trouble without all the dramatics by Sanji.

Something similar happens on Skypiea, when Sanji puts himself in the way of Enel so that Usopp and Nami can be saved. This case is perhaps more justifiable given the extreme situation they were in, but nonetheless he was still quick to throw his life away.

Then on Enies Lobby Nami--while not criticizing his chivalry--calls out Sanji for simply not running away from Kalifa, instead just accepting that he's going to get the shit beat out of him, and possibly die.

So there's a pattern of self-destructive behavior. Sanji repeatedly puts his life on the line when he doesn't need to in order to preserve the lives and dreams of the people he loves. Even him constantly simping over Nami and Robin falls a little into this category, because if either of them told him to take a long walk off a short pier I have no doubt he'd comply. It's that same extreme willingness to sacrifice anything and everything for the people he cares for that we see in Baby 5, except Sanji was fortunate enough to not be surrounded by people that encourage these worst impulses of self-destructive behavior. As he says here in Thriller Bark, he's just the cook. Luffy can always just find someone else.

(The glory of Whole Cake Island being Sanji realizing, no, Luffy can't, and he won't).

And it is finally on WCI that get to the heart of why Sanji is like this with yet another episode of putting his own dreams and happiness aside for the sake of others, and not until Wano that we finally see him take the first steps toward asking others for help instead of passionately throwing his life away when he doesn’t need to.

When Zoro first offered his head to Kuma, the prominence of his dream was first and foremost. Notice that Sanji never mentions the All Blue. One Piece is a series that places the pursuit of one's own ambition above all else, even if that ambition is selfish. Sanji hasn't yet learned to be selfish, so Zoro knocks him out and ends up being the one to accept Luffy's pain. Sacrifice isn't sacrifice if the person doesn't value what they're giving up, and right now Sanji clearly doesn't value his own life compared to the rest of the crew.

Next chapter Oda will speak through Brook to confirm that Sanji's willingness to give himself up wasn't foolish or stupid. It's just that he's missing a piece of the puzzle, and that's not something he'll have for a long time yet.

[alexalessandro]

This is for no one but myself (ignore the tags) so feel free to scroll away, but no actually the rat grinders are not like Ragh and Zayn and Aelwyn.

Here’s my essay

First of all, there’s a clear difference between the rat grinders and all the bad kids “villains” turned allies and it’s the coerced factor

If we want to put Zayn datkshadow, Aelwyn aberrant and Ragh Barkrock on a scale of most to least coerced, we would have Zayn up top.

He was literally made to be socially isolated and financially dependent on the bad guys, had his reputation ruined and actively had eyes on him to keep him miserable and alone (jokes on them the acting miserable part was his emo persona mostly)

Then we have Aelwyn abernant, who’s behind Zayn darkshadow simply because she had a lifeline to not be abused which was to be perfect all the time although that’s abuse in and of itself, she was literally coerced from birth into evil “we’re rich so we care about nobody but ourselves and you better not shame our house” bs

Then ragh, ragh is least in the coerced scale but he still had his identity used against him and was actively bullied and blackmailed by his crush after coming out to him

Now the rat grinders.

They. Weren’t. Coerced. Into shit.

Kipperlily copperkettle? The gravest sin her parents made was be boring and scold her for breaking into their computers to look for conspiracies. Her reasons to be manipulated is because she’s mad she’s boring and thinks that trauma gives other people an “unfair advantage” while she actively chose easy adventures to pass. Like she looks like any other annyoing ass white girl you dread to meet that complains about people being on her ass for getting starbucks while the boycott’s going i’m sorry i’m not gonna pity her JUMPING at the opportunity to be manipulated and also actively getting the only person that gave a shit about her killed (Lucy frostblade had multiple assailants)

Like cleric killer killed people in cold blood bot as self defense or to stop apocalypses but cus the bbeg was like hehehe bitch please

She is obviously racist against riz but that’s just my own personal bias

Oisin? Freaking nepo baby with an evil grandma that apparently was bitchy even before the shatter star and might have been an insidious incel the entire time

Ivy suggested fabian wore mazey like a coat and that’s where the skin alive but came from, check the tape

I have weird thoughts about ruben mary ann and buddy, they’re mostly stooges and i would personally put them in the ragh box but also ruben’s death was objectively funny sorry not sorry

All of this to say there’s a difference between my villainy is inflicted upon me or coerced onto me and HECK YEAH MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL I’LL ABSOLUTELY KILL MY BEST FRIEND FOR U WHEN SHE DOESNT GO ALONG WITH THE PLAN

anyway these have been my ramblings I won’t take criticism

[angelsdean]

you probably noticed this but: right after dean finishes telling the CBGB story, he says “john friggin winchester” and takes a shot, and the jacting joices in that moment are… god. i mean the jacting joices are there the entire time ofc but they kinda give *overemphasizing this as a ‘cool john’ story* to me at first, but in that final moment—dean purses his lips, he shifts in his seat, he stares into the distance… he looks bitter. it’s like dean allows himself to feel bitter about this story for just a second, when sam and cas are no longer looking at him ://

(the exact moment i’m talking about is in a gifset you reposted recently)

Yea there's definitely a vibe throughout the whole thing that he's like, telling it as this "funny anecdote" but underneath there's more feelings brewing about this story. Like the story itself comes up because Sam prompts him to tell it, so it's not even Dean's first thought.

Even Cas asking them "You loved your father?" and Dean's response, "With all I had" is like, on the surface you can take that as a positive statement but it's also pretty vague when you really poke at it. It's like, okay and how much love for your father DID you have? It's not the same as a resounding "Yes, of course!" It's more, "I loved him as much as I personally could, given everything." And I do think Dean loved his father. Dean is full of love and he cares even when people might not deserve it. But, we also know he's no stranger to criticizing his father (as he literally says in the next breath that John was not winning any Dad of the year awards) and acknowledging that he was put through shit he did not deserve at way too young of an age.

Even him saying "damn if he wasn't there when we needed him" it's, I mean, he's literally criticized John for being a deadbeat and leaving them and not answering the phone and putting them in danger before so this line immediately rings hollow. And in the context of the scene it makes sense that he'd say this to Cas because Cas is specifically asking them about John as a way of understanding what a father is supposed to do. He prefaces his questions about John with the fact that HE never knew his father and thus has little experience with this whole Claire situation. He's looking for guidance, so it makes sense that Dean would over-embellish a little and want to paint John in a better light for the sake of telling Cas that "yea a good dad is there for their kids." Which we Know John wasn't always there for them. (Side note but all of this ALSO ties into Rowena and Crowley's subplot this episode, how she abandoned HER kid, wasn't there for him, left him vulnerable but is trying to be there now etc etc. Thematically it's an episode abt imperfect parents and their children). And the fact that Sam prompts the story to me says that Dean was probably just going to leave it at that, simply giving his advice to Cas that good dads are always there for their kids.

But anyways, all this to say, I can definitely see Dean feeling bitter about the story at the end there. Especially as the happy little mood drops and he's no longer trying to "give advice" and is reminded of the case, Claire, and how his own experiences actually relate to hers. It's like he finishes telling the story Sam prompted him to tell in the first place and he remembers, "yeah and that was fucked up. and dad might've been there THEN but what about all the other times he left us vulnerable and open to be preyed on. and now Claire is in the hands of this pseudo-guardian who is also putting her in dangerous and vulnerable situations, and and and."

[ritsusakumawife]

Kamisato Ayato x Reader

Fluff to Angst (?)

Synopsis: Meeting Kamisato Ayato was both a dream and a nightmare

Warnings: Minor swearing, ooc, cringe, bad grammar, not proofread

Meeting Ayato completely changed your life

Before meeting him, everything was the same

Wake up, eat breakfast, get ready, work, eat lunch, work some more, go home, eat dinner, and sleep

The cycle just repeats itself over and over again like you’re stuck in an endless loop

But everything changed when he came to your humble shop and bought almost everything might I add

“These..Items..Are unexpectedly high quality but yet you sell them for cheap, why is that?”

‘Huh? What do you mean ‘unexpectedly'?!? Who does this man think he is to just assume my things aren’t high quality'

“Oh, I just happen to have a great luck at picking out items, I guess..?”

“So, you just happen to always get high quality items when shopping? I find that quite hard to believe”

“Look here mister! I don’t know who you think you are but if you aren’t here to buy then please kindly get out.”

“I’m just a simple average human doing my best to survive in this world”

“And to answer your question on why I sell them 'cheap' it’s because that’s simply the price I paid to buy them”

“I’d be a horrible person to inflate the price a whole lot y’know?”

“Pfft..”

‘This guy..Is he seriously holding back his laugh?!’ (๑•ૅㅁ•๑)

“Alright alright, I’m not here to fight”

“I’ll buy everything from here to there”

‘What—’

“Thoma, make sure everything is safely delivered to the estate”

“Yes, my lord”

'LORD??? JUST WHO IS THIS MAN?!??!’

After that horrible first meeting with Ayato

He came back a few times to buy some things he needed. What did he do with them? You don’t know, and honestly? You didn’t care. Business is business

Due to his constant visits you soon found out his name was 'Ayato'

With time you and Ayato grew closer with each other

You honestly didn’t get why he decided to come to your shop in person when he could’ve just ordered his people to buy the things he needed for him but hey, you can’t say you dislike his presence, in fact, you like it

He came almost every single day that he just became a constant in your life

Oh how you wished he just hadn’t come to your shop that day

Fast forward to when you and Ayato started dating

You noticed a lot of people started to stare at you. And no, it wasn’t just a glance or something. It was full on staring

They always gave you judgmental looks

You always heard them criticizing your looks, voice, posture, the way you talk and walk

You didn’t know why, until Ayato decided to tell you why, that is

And so, you found out that the man you’ve been dating was none other than Kamisato Ayato

Truth be told, even after he told you his full name you still didn’t know who he was. He had to explain to you about his family and etc.

He found it amusing how you had a lot of knowledge when it comes to material things but know almost nothing when it comes to socializing, politics, and all that business stuff. He almost believes that you really are just lucky to have survived this long all by yourself

Ayaka having heard of the news of you dating her brother decided to officially meet you

Ayaka has known about your existence due to her brother always telling her about you and because Ayato always comes to her to ask her opinions on what to get you as a gift

She was a bit cautious at first, making sure you weren’t just using her brother, but it didn’t take long for her to trust you

And it also didn’t take long for both of you to become best friends

Since it was basically public knowledge that you and Ayato were dating, you had to move in, in the Kamisato estate to protect you from possible assassins that may take your life

It took a lot of time for the people working there to get used to you. They were also of course a bit cautious of you since they’ve seen many people try to seduce their lord

In the end, everyone was divided in two sections.

One side trusts you and are willing to serve you like you’re also their lord and the other side doesn’t trust you as much and still remain a good distance away from you

But it was alright, you told yourself that as long as you have Ayato you can make it through their judgmental stares and comments

Love really does make a person a blind..

The dating stage was..Like a dream, you couldn’t believe you managed to snatch yourself a lovely caring man like Ayato

The newly wed stage was like heaven on Teyvat

The married stage was a nightmare alright

Everywhere you went you felt stares

Their stares

Always judging and criticizing

It was never ending

You thought it might die down after a bit

You told yourself that they’ll stop after a few more months

The people just aren’t used to it yet

You get it, you really do, Ayato is a person of high status so you understand their criticisms

After all, you were just an average person living their regular life then suddenly you were dating one of the most famous people in the land

This particular day was worse than other days

Everyone was much more unbearable it didn’t help that your husband was busy for the rest of the day, again

For the past 5 years that you’ve been married to Ayato you can’t remember a single day where you had spent one day together with him. Just him, no work, no nothing

Hell, you haven’t even been able to sit and eat at the same table during these years you’ve been married

Sometimes you wish you just hadn’t gotten married at all

At least back then you were actually able to see Ayato and eat at the same table as him

Now that you’re married to him you can’t even see him due to work

And when you do see him it’ll either be because you got a glimpse of him through the door before it shuts or if there’s a social party that you need to attend in

Every single promise was broken

“I’m sorry dear, I’ll make sure to eat with you today”

“I can’t just 'relax'! Sigh Please get out I have work to do”

“Next time, I promise”

“Ah yes, about our date today..I’m afraid I’ll have to cancel it. I have a business meeting today”

“Day off? I don’t have time for that”

Your once happy dream life turned dull and unhappy

You kept telling yourself that it was alright, he was just busy with work and will make time for you when needed. Being the Yashiro Commissioner is a stressful job so it was understandable

But..With every single passing day it was hard..It kept getting harder and harder to stay upbeat and think positively

Again, it didn’t help that others was still judging and criticizing you. You honestly thought it’ll only last for 1-2 years at most but no, they’re still nitpicking at every single thing you did

Calling you a commoner, gold digger, snake, slut, manipulator, and a whole lot of other things

Things got worse when the vision hunt decree came

He got more busier and busier and even had to leave on some sort of “trip” without telling you

You didn’t know where he was, what he was doing, is he doing alright? Is he still alive? Surely he didn’t get assassinated right?

It was all just so..Unbearable

You wanted to leave

You needed to leave

Staying in that estate was taking a big hit on your mental health

It’s always been taking a hit. You just hadn’t noticed and continued to look through rose tinted glasses

Your thoughts were spiraling down into the deep depths

You knew you needed to get your shit together

And so, you tried your best to reach out to Ayato

But of course, you couldn’t get a hold of him at all

So you decided to just leave for the meantime

You’ll deal with the paperwork and everything else once he comes back

For now though, you just decided to reopen your shop, get business running, and try to live your best life without him

Maybe once Ayato comes back and you get divorced you’ll try traveling? It’ll be hard to do so with the Vision hunt decree but you were sure you’ll be able to make it work somehow

Maybe an old friend will be willing to help

˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺˳✧༚˚✧₊⁎❝᷀ົཽ≀ˍ̮ ❝᷀ົཽ⁎⁺

Hihiii I’m sorry if this is just absolute trash

This is definitely not the best of my works so far but idk (◞‸◟)

I’m not sure if this even is considered angst or not tbh

I have more ideas for this butttt I just can’t fit it so I apologize

The end..Definitely wasn’t what I had in mind though

Who do you think the old friend is? (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)

Part 2

[moonsuke]

Oshi no ko manga thoughts (mostly shipping shit)

-

I caught up to the latest chapter of Oshi no Ko last weekend! It’s all I did :)

I’ve to say Aka should probably just stick to relationship focused works and let plot take the backseat. I mean considering Kaguya sama and now OnK which was supposed to have a revenge driven and moralising about the vices of the entertainment industry theme, somehow the ship wars still overshadow everything else lol. I can feel the passion Aka has when he writes the ships and characters interacting portions as compared to the simply plot driven chapters :)

Anyway I went into the manga shipping AquaKana because of the anime, but I’ve read on various platforms the AquaAkane fans saying their ship and Akane are better developed while AquaKana and Kana remain superficial, so I was prepared to be angry and sad at the way the manga goes.

BUT LOL. I should never trust shippers’ takes ever again because Aka’s intentions are very clear right from the start. There was nothing to worry about, in fact as I’m reading all the chapters they just reinforce my KNOWING that AquaKana (even if they don’t end up together) have more romantic chemistry. IF Aqua has to end up with someone, it would have to be Kana. It’s written and set up that way from the beginning.

Right from the start, I see no “superficial” relationship between Aqua and Kana. I really think people are letting their personal feelings affect their objectivity. It’s clear how they always consider and prioritise the other (let’s exclude revenge from the picture🤡). Kana fell in love because of how Aqua always goes out of his way to help her, make her shine and regain her confidence. He always appears at the right moments when she needed someone the most, doing things in the most roundabout yet thoughtful manner that makes her feel special (which she is to him). Aqua fell in “love” (can’t be sure with this dude) because only with Kana can he feel somewhat like his old self again, untainted by revenge which is something he does not even want to seek deep down. With her, his shadows and traumas get chased away (even if just momentarily) by her “light” because their conversations, dynamics and banter just flow so well he can’t help but have fun despite being in the depths of despair just moments ago. All subsequent chapters beyond the anime adaptation just reinforces this. Even in the anime itself, the themes of being the darkness to bring out your light, and being the light to chase away your shadows is prominent for AquaKana. So yea, superficial? How??

(Of course there’s some bumpy drama in the middle but let’s look at the long term storyline/ bigger picture 🤡)

(In fact, the bumpiness was also Aqua choosing to prioritise Kana’s safety just in a very hurtful and fucking cliché manner 🤡🤡)

Kana herself is also a character you can CLEARLY tell is favoured by the writer. You can always tell whenever special care is shown towards a character (like Sasuke 🤡) and for me, I fall for such tactics. Because if the author takes so much care to write this character, isn’t it natural for there to be a special something that you as a fan would pick up on and like? That’s my take anyway, as long as they aren’t a shounen/shoujo protag lol. From how other characters like Akane idolises her, to Aqua making huge sacrifices to protect her, to Mem speaking up for her, to even Ruby wanting to protect her and their friendship. In a way I can see why people would find it obnoxious especially if not enough attention is given to other characters they like. But personally, I don’t mind because I'm lucky enough to have her as a fav lmao.

It’s kinda true that Kana doesn’t receive a lot of development in later chapters, but the thing is most things took a backseat to Aqua’s revenge later on! I’ve seen so many people criticize Kana for focusing only on Aqua (which she does not), but ALL OTHER CHARACTERS ARE REVOLVING AROUND AQUA IN THE LATER CHAPTERS. Akane?? She’s even more Aqua centered. Even Ruby is, after her revenge phase! Kana is too yes, but we do also see her struggles and conflicts with her career plans. Eventually she even made the decision to quit idol work entirely to focus back on acting.

I haven’t seen this criticism much but in a way, Kana can also be deemed a damsel in the sense that she’s the only one of the main cast kept away from the revenge plot line. Aka (and thus Aqua) does not want to taint her with it. I can see how the AquaAkane shippers would find this in their favour because Akane is HIGHLY involved with Aqua’s revenge. Her relationship with Aqua is more “equal”, they’re both scheming and cunning and manipulative and highly intelligent (Akane even more so). It’s a relationship where 2 similar and intellectually compatible people are together and in many other instances I would have supported such a ship and dynamic way more than the other one.

But what’s lacking here… is how not mutual it is when it comes to romantic feelings and chemistry… In fact, I never really felt any attraction between them especially when you compare it to AquaKana. It's mostly gratefulness and maybe guilt. Throughout all of AquaAkane’s (real and fake) dating scenes, Akane was commenting how Aqua is smitten with Kana but is still trying his best to be the best boyfriend for Akane… When Aqua is with Akane, there’s always a sense of duty from him but no passion. He’s settling down for a “normal” and “happy” life in the most generic sense so he’s not just using her for revenge, but also to have a “normal” life as he can’t be near Kana (due to his traumas). She’s his second choice and she knows that but she doesn’t want to delve into why because it would be unpleasant for her. They also “understand” each other but it’s only when it comes to Aqua’s need for revenge and how Akane would go the lengths to help him achieve it. Because she accepts all of his darkness, thus he remains in darkness.

It’s only when they broke up that Akane decided she wants to save Aqua instead. But unlike Kana’s “way” by being her normal self, Akane’s gonna use manipulative tactics (like Aqua would) to steer him away from revenge. Very interesting dynamic but unfortunately just not one that’s favoured in this series.

I mean Aka once tweeted years ago that “Akane is the girl who would take you forward, but Kana is the girl who will bring you back”. Depending on personal preference, either sounds good yes? But it’s clear from Aka’s POV, he prefers the latter. Because “take you forward” in this case means diving further into revenge while “bring you back” means returning to the happy self that you were before all the trauma started. And so that was just further confirmation AquaKana was always meant to be “end game”. It's funny how the princess Saya meta about the "losing heroine" parallels Kana more than Akane (which we were led to believe). Because Saya (and Kana) was the one introduced to be the love interest, yet she got overshadowed later by Tsurugi (revenge plot and thus Akane's involvement). I don't know if its because of Akane (like Tsurugi) being popular amongst the fandom though, but the "losing heroine" term definitely applies to her here.

And now about Akane, I’ve very mixed feelings about her because I just can’t grasp her character well. She’s so different from when she was first introduced as a timid, soft spoken, hardworking genius actress. Very “majime”. Now, she’s not just a genius actress but a genius in general. A genius mastermind. I think her character is cool but also not very well-defined. I don’t think Aka wrote her very well as a character but rather she’s used to further the plot. That's why I can’t fully like her as a character but I appreciate her contributions to the storyline and various scenes. Her hype and badass moments are cool, for both her acting and intellectual prowess. If Aka likes her more, I think she has a lot of potential and would be an interesting main (as opposed to losing) heroine too. It’s just that in this case, he clearly favors Kana.

Another thing about Akane's role in the story I like is how she's THE reliable narrator. We have several instances where we can't trust what other characters are telling us (like Mem and Aqua) because they're unreliable. But when Akane says something, you KNOW its the truth and its how we should be interpreting various scenes. Just another badass moment for her lol, and how Aka uses her.

Ruby too is a very sad case. You can feel how disinterested Aka is in her character it’s not even funny. Her “development” was always based on overly convenient external factors rather than about HER. A god literally came and tell her about sensei’s death and to push her into revenge. Ichigo the director have to make an appearance to help her plan out her revenge. Nothing is really from HER. It’s all outside help. And when she found out Aqua’s true identity, she turned into an obsessed fangirl for a while...

[scoobydoodean]

Do you have siblings, and what order are you in?

How do you view and feel about Sam running away multiple times, and then in 5.16 Sam running away are the only memories he's given? (and do you think angels did that purposefully?)

I am the younger of two and I understand how Sam can run away and how it would only be about getting away from their, but that Dean would feel the brunt of it all. But I can totally imagine my older sibling understanding Dean, but not necessarily Sam's pov.

I also don't think Sam's reasoning is ever fully explained, at least in 5.16, it makes him seem much more selfish and uncaring. I think he assumed Dean was better equipped to handle living with their dad alone simply because he behaved, it just happened to be that Dean and dad were linked - and I don't really know how much they talked about their relationship with their dad till they were older.

I wonder if Dean ever would've considered leaving John and living somewhere near Sam, or even running away with Sam.

I have three siblings. I'm in the middle. Two older siblings and the caboose is 7 years younger than me. So I remember what it's like to be the baby but I also know what it's like to play older sibling to a sibling several years younger than me. My younger brother and I are also very close.

If this was all prompted by my comment the other day that I wasn't looking forward to watching "Dark Side of the Moon", I don't dislike the episode because it shows Sam running off. I do have issues with the episode, but a large part of my distaste for it is that it is generally very depressing. It being depressing in of itself isn't a criticism of the episode—it's supposed to be depressing because it's about total loss of hope and belief for Dean (and then Cas as well losing hope at the end of the episode). It's doing what it's supposed to do in that sense. It's just hard to watch. Unfortunately, a lot of people take the bleakness of it and the idea that Dean is a burden and etc as truth and not manipulation meant to drive him to say "yes", and that also makes me rather sour about it.

I don't care that Sam wanted to go to college, or that he was happy at another family's thanksgiving at one point in his life. The Flagstaff memory bothers me a little because Sam's fond recollection of it, unmarred by any negative associations, clearly suggests he didn't face any consequences for running off once John found him. The fact that he never even into his adult life considered that Dean might have faced consequences does feel rather self-centered, and that's on purpose. I don't care that Sam went to school or that there were points as a kid where he wanted to run off.

I do disagree with the premise that Sam still desires some normal core Thanksgiving. I simply don't think that would be a favorite memory for Sam anymore. Just a few episodes prior to this, in "Swap Meat", Sam sat down with someone else's family for a normal, family dinner and he hated it. He found Gary's parents absolutely obnoxious. He told Gary afterward that he envied his life, only to turn to Dean and say he lied.

SAM I totally lied. That kid's life sucked ass. All that apple-pie, family crap? It's stressful. Trust me – we didn't miss a damn thing.

Or observe earlier in the episode:

DEAN You ever think that you'd want something like that? Wife, rugrats, the whole nine? SAM No, not really my thing anymore.

In fact, it's Dean who envies the normal life in "Swap Meat" and several other episodes (ex: 2.20, 4.19) whereas Sam indicates several times that a normal life is not something he wants (2.02, 2.10, 2.20, 4.08, 4.19, 5.12). In 4.08 and in 2.20, Sam in fact overtly states that he would not go back and choose a normal life now if he could go back. In 3.01, 4.19, and in 5.06, Sam also heavily emphasizes the importance of family within the hunting dynamic. I track a lot of this within the tag #sam the hunter.

I think there is a strong argument to be made that Zachariah ran them through heaven like rats in a maze in 5.16, directing them toward certain memories and not others in order to make Dean believe that Sam doesn't care for him (I have a separate post to make about this in more detail). However, I don't believe Zachariah forced in memories that aren't "greatest hits". I think he just drove them away from any happy memories Sam has with Dean and toward ones where Sam grasped independence from John, misappropriated to make Dean feel Sam doesn't care about Dean or appreciate/recognize his sacrifices (the former is not true, but the latter is in fact true in many cases).

Note though that when Joshua arrives and takes them to heaven's garden:

SAM: This is heaven’s Garden? DEAN: It’s-it’s nice… ish. I guess. JOSHUA: You see what you want to here. For some it’s God’s throne room; for others it’s Eden. You two, I believe it’s the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip.

So right there, we have a shared favorite memory, right after (presumably) any potential influence Zachariah had on what memories they were seeing was eliminated.

What primarily irritates me about this episode and many other Dabb/Loflin episodes is their perpetual need to insert the narrative that Sam wants a normal life he explicitly states he does not want over and over and over in everyone else's episodes, while they write Dean as someone who says things like "I mean, we’re supposed to be a team. It’s supposed to be you and me against the world, right?" It implies a sort of desperation vs apathy that, even when contradicted in subtler ways, I just don't find interesting... And yet they seem to harp on the same dramatic "misunderstanding" over and over and over for all eternity. And Dabb continues it after cutting ties with Loflin. In fact he continues to toy with these obnoxious dramatics to the very end of the series in a way I find unbelievably tired and obnoxious and I resent it. He's the same one-trick pony when it comes to his ideas on Dean and Cas conflicts in the later seasons.

As to your last bit there: Dean did consider running off. We see this in "Bad Boys", and in that episode, we also see that Dean doesn't end up abandoning their family because he felt Sam needed him. We hear a similar narrative in regards to John in 1.06 from the mouth of the shifter—that Dean had dreams of his own, but Dean felt that John needed him, so Dean stayed. John echoes this when he says that he was an emotional wreck and Dean took care of him (2.01). We see Dean also taking care of Mary in "Dark Side of the Moon" after she gets off the phone with John, upset. 5.16 casts Dean as someone perpetually sacrificing his own needs for his family, but unappreciated all the while. In fact, Sam doesn't recognize any of his sacrifices. Dean is nothing more than a blood offering on the altar of family. Zachariah intends this narrative and leans into it heavily in the scene where he explicitly manipulates what Sam and Dean are seeing.

MARY: Don’t you walk away from me. I never loved you. You were my burden. I was shackled to you. Look what it got me. The worst was the smell. The pain, well. What can you say about your skin bubbling off? But the smell was so… You know, for a second I thought I’d left a pot roast burning in the oven. But… it was my meat. And then, finally, I was dead. The one silver lining was that at least I was away from you.

Zachariah has Mary speak about Dean being a burden to his family and to her, but it's potentially more layered than "Dean has abandonment issues". What Mary says about being shackled to Dean—being burdened by her child—firmly recollects Dean's claim to Cas in 5.03 that he's chained to his family through responsibility, and that finally being away from Sam is a relief. This fake Mary says death was her escape from similar chains of responsibility to her loved ones. It was the only escape. Burned up and dead but finally free. There's an implication there that Dean can finally escape responsibility in a similar way, and in two episodes, Dean is going to try and escape by saying "Yes".

[genericpuff]

I reread episode 24 of LO after having dropped off between seasons 1 and 2 and it genuinely brought me to tears. I feel like there’s no way the theory about Rachel not intending this to be a depiction of SA can be true. The way it’s written feels so powerful and intentional, and I honestly think that makes her dropping the plotline that much worse.

I mean, maybe I’m projecting because of how similar the scenario was to my own experiences, but I just don’t feel convinced that she didn’t fully intend to write this as SA.

The shots of Persephone trying to physically push him away, of her standing shell shocked in the shower, after the fact, her internal dialogue about wanting it to stop but feeling like she can’t take back the “okay” she gave. It’s gut wrenching. And Apollo commenting on her hair and saying she should leave it long is such a brilliant piece of writing that hits like a punch in the gut for us readers who know why it grows.

And honestly, I think that chapter being so well written is what hurts the most. Because it feels like myself and other survivors were lured in by the prospect of seeing our stories told, and getting catharsis through Persephone even if we would never have it. The conversation she has later with Eros, where he states plainly that what happened was rape, not dancing around the word, validating what Persephone and so many real readers have gone through… It’s so, so painful to read that back and know that this plotline was dropped. That we were led to believe we would be seen only to be completely swept under the rug with no resolution to that story.

And I know people criticize that it’s immediately followed by a phone call with Hades, but honestly? After rereading that too? I loved most of the phone call. They had real chemistry, and you could still feel the weight of what just happened in how Persephone carried herself, but as they talked and she had something to distract herself, the burden got a bit lighter, at least for the moment. It felt resonant. Emotionally intelligent.

It’s like you said. Lore Olympus wouldn’t be so easy to hate if it hadn’t been so easy to love. I think it could have been good despite its flaws and problematic elements, because no media is 100% pure— but somewhere along the way, Rachel stopped caring. And THAT is what ruined it.

No but this is so valid, everything you just described was pretty much why I loved the SA plotline in the first place.

I think the scene itself is beautifully written, but it's odd how it becomes more about Persephone simply wanting an "easy way out" of TGOEM, not just in the 'decision' to have sex (i.e. she was coerced and assaulted) but later when she tries to get out of TGOEM, like... is it because she wants to actually date guys, or is it because she doesn't feel like she "deserves" to be in TGOEM anymore due to the assault? The story tries in some places to explore this but never commits to it fully so it's really hard to know what point it's trying to make at times when you actually peel back the layers.

Really the biggest reasons I 'suspect' Rachel of not intending to write a genuine SA plot from the very beginning is because of how... 'back of mind' it is. It only seems to be brought up whenever Rachel can be bothered to remember, but then it's completely juxtaposed against scenes where it should affect her (or reasonably would) and it doesn't. Case in point, a few episodes after she tells Eros what happened and he confirms it was rape, he tries to convince her to go into Hades' office dressed in a trenchcoat and nothing else underneath and it's like bro... this girl just told you what she went through, why are you suggesting she try to seduce her boss who she doesn't even really know yet LOL

As a result , it really does just make it feel like the SA scene is just there to make Apollo an easy villain, and Hades an easy hero, with the only definitions being "well, Hades didn't assault her, so he's definitely the better choice!" (as if Apollo was ever a 'choice' to begin with, Persephone didn't like him from day 1 so there was basically no chance of there being a love triangle setup except for the audience members who quickly latched onto that "I guess he's cute if you squint a little" line). And with the way episodes are chopped up, separating points of the narrative from each other, it feels like whenever stuff does happen (esp surrounding the SA plot) it's because Rachel's finally bought herself enough time to come up with something, like the therapy episode, Eros confirming it was assault, Persephone stealing the lyre with the intent of hiding it from Apollo (only to then willingly show it to him alone in her bedroom with him a handful of episodes later), etc.

If she did intend to write an SA scene from the beginning, it doesn't feel like she thought the plotline through fully to make it actually feel genuine (and this goes for a lot of the subplots in LO, they always seem to start off as these base "get your attention" ideas but with no actual follow through). And with Apollo now being written as this "huehue you fell right into my trap!" villain (and very poorly I might add) it just feels like the SA is now taking a backseat to, "Actually, Apollo is the bad guy because he wants to overthrow his dad or some shit. Forget the SA happened, I don't wanna write about it anymore."

All those points aside, I agree with you fully, if Rachel cared about what she was trying to write back when the SA was first shown, then that level of care definitely doesn't seem to be there anymore and it's such a shame to see. It just feels like it's being used for artificial drama and nothing more and that's so frustrating and disappointing for many of the SA victims who are critical of this story (including myself) to see when that plotline originally felt like comforting visibility.

[sepublic]

So I've seen some people criticize lately the deconstruction of the child hero trope, arguing that it originally existed as a way of empowering kids who feel ineffective and powerless. And yeah, kids DO have a notable lack of agency that as an adult, you really begin to understand more and appreciate, at least on my end. These are all fair arguments, the deconstruction of the deconstruction, and I don't think they're necessarily wrong. It's just...

Some stories are meant for other people? The thing about this generation is that it's got a LOT on its shoulders. This generation is the one that's tired and burnt out, it has to deal with the burden of a world that's imploding in on itself, and the expectation that they have to fix it. It feels like corporations and politicians are casually destroying the world, knowing future generations will be the ones to have to clean it up, so why should they care?

There's a lot of anxiety and angst about the sociopolitical sphere. We've got the rise of Linkin Park, we've got people becoming jaded with late-stage capitalism and wondering how they can even survive in this economy. The fantasy has shifted from large and grand stuff to simply being able to survive and make a humble yet satisfying living. Kids are becoming burnt out, and being gifted is more apparently not worth the hype.

So I imagine THAT's the appeal behind the deconstruction of the kid protagonist for modern audiences, the one that's like "Hey isn't this fucked up? Isn't this messed up? The fate of the world is on this kid's shoulders, they're just a child soldier?" Because I think it reflects a lot of people's frustration with the adults around them, that it feels like the adults have become useless and are just forcing them to do things on their own, and often for them.

For a lot of young people, it feels like they're being forced to do all of the emotional labor while parents and guardians who tend to fail them, especially for being queer, ultimately slack on their duties by guilt-tripping them; Saying they've already done so much providing shelter and food, so you should be grateful, how dare you expect emotional support and the like!!!

It's all a way to vent frustration over the ineffectivity, and even abuse, of parents and guardians. It's catharsis for angst, because it feels like there's so much wrong with the world; The internet and modern communication has led to this phenomenon of "infowhelming" where kids are constantly bombarded by news of all the world's ills. It's sensory overload, it's a Greta Thunberg situation where it's inherently ridiculous that a kid has to step up and fix things, and instead of acknowledging how much help they need, the adults have the audacity to congratulate this child and put them on a pedestal as the chosen one who will fix things for them. Instead of just taking responsibility themselves.

The "Kid Protagonist is a Child Soldier" deconstruction is an outlet for kids to explore darker emotions, to admit their angst is valid, that this is a really shitty situation and this is how they can deal with it. Growing up, I already had Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, which DID play into the idea of kids cast into too much responsibility because of useless adults around them. It felt like a way for kids to cope with the fact that the world can be a very unfair place, it was cathartic in its acknowledgement of the frustration and its validity.

Plus, it's not as if all these deconstruction stories are saying that kids CAN'T have fun, that they can't do things, because kids DO want to do things!!! They want agency, they want to feel like they're making a difference! It's just that a lot of them also want the reassurance that the adults are still there for them as a support network, that they have people more experienced to fall back and rely on when it's too much; They can do their part but it's not ALL down to them, is that too much to ask for? The nuance of being able to do things, but not having to be the only one?

Sometimes kids like it both ways where they can be an adventurer but also recognize when some things messed them up, so they can have space to breathe before moving onwards. Sometimes they need a break because it IS taxing, but they’ll still go back to it. Sometimes they'll still do the work knowing how necessary it is, while wanting acknowledgement for how hard it was. People write about the traumatic effects of 'bad things' for a reason; They still want to see those bad things in media, for the catharsis of the coping and emotional fallout afterwards.

These defenses of the Kid Protagonist trope and how it resonated with kids from, say, the early 20th century is fair. It's true. But these deconstruction stories of today also apply, in that they're a power fantasy in a different way for different kids of a different generation, with different struggles. So I find it disingenuous to simply dismiss these deconstruction-type stories as just CinemaSins bathos, even if I understand that a lot of people are understandably tired of the MCU's "That just happened" attempts at self-awareness.

And I don't think kids of today are completely decrying straightforward depictions, it's just nice to have those, AND the deconstruction, to flip back and forth between as their mood needs. These types of stories where the protagonists realize they're child soldiers, like Animorphs -which itself was written for teenagers in all their angst- might simply... not be for some people. And that's okay, that's fine! Different stories resonate, different stories serve different purposes because they're by different people.

[fleshing-out-fodlan]

I think this is a nice moment of Edelgard consoling Byleth after Remire Village. She’s often criticized as being heartless for her response to Jeralt’s death and even if I disagree I can see where people are coming from with that. But I think this exchange shows that she genuinely cares for Byleth.

She learned first hand about the limits of human strength during her experimentation as a child so she knows that, while this weakness/failure must be acknowledged, it’s also not something to feel bad about. She also states the importance of staying positive which I think speaks to her coping mechanisms. Throughout her involvement with the Agarthans, she found comfort in imagining the good she can bring to the world by using the power they gave her instead of dwelling on what she lost. I think understanding this mindset is important in understanding her reaction to Byleth grieving Jeralt. While her response was admittedly harsh and for many people would probably not be particularly helpful, it was a result of this mindset. While grief and failure should be acknowledged, it is not something you should dwell on. After Jeralt’s death, she feels Byleth is focusing too heavily on her loss instead of looking to the future and making plans for how they can manage the situation. She thinks it’s ridiculous to “wait for time to heal [your] wound” because time itself doesn’t do anything. Your actions and your mindset are what allow you to heal, hence why she emphasizes the importance of “stay[ing] positive through the horror.”

She says to Byleth that she does not want to “stand still” with her but rather wants to “move forward.” Edelgard’s focus has always been on looking to the future and trying to take another step forward and, as stated above, this is what allowed her to get through her grief. She feels that, by allowing Byleth to wallow in her grief, she would simply encourage self destructive behavior. So, while the phrasing of her statement is harsh (and I believe Edelgard in general struggles with phrasing her thoughts in ways that will be well received by others), the sentiment isn’t. She would rather move forwards with Byleth, helping her to learn to cope with her loss, than simply sit around and cry about it in a way that she feels will only hinder Byleth’s growth.

[laurfilijames]

Fallout

Pairing: Jay Mills x female reader

Words: 2,955

Warnings: Stab wound on hand. Bandaging and dressing of wound. Description of injection of antibiotics by needle. Swearing.

Summary: New to Bear Lake as a nurse working at the local clinic, you have the pleasure of taking on Jay Mills as one of your patients, taking it upon yourself to see that his hand heals properly following the aftermath of the destruction left behind by Liza and Addison, hoping to gain the trust of the boxer trying to get his head and heart in order.

A/N: This will be a series and will include smut in the upcoming chapters (yay!) I've fallen head over heels for this character and he deserves so much better than the shit he got in that slightly disturbing film so, here we go!

---

The town was described as small, welcoming and charming. It was definitely all of those things, but also hinted at being stuffy, dead, and incredibly boring. Most of the people you met were friendly and genuinely kind; having carried on their small town morals for generations and truly wouldn't say a bad thing about anyone, but there were still a majority who looked at you like your presence would strip their quaint and familiar hometown of all it was good for and taint it with your 'big city' bullshit.

You promised yourself again that you would make the most of it and see what would come of your move, trying to embrace such a change in your life and take a step back to simply breathe and let be; to allow time and the peace and quiet of the North heal your heart and mind.

"Deb, it says this Jay Mills has missed his appointment twice in a row," you questioned the older receptionist, watching her through a squint as she tilted her head to see through her thick glasses better as you passed her the missing man's chart.

"Oh, yeah," she said with a roll of her eyes, pressing the paperwork back into your hand before she sighed and looked back at her computer. "I don't think we'll be seeing Mr. Mills again at this point. He's gone nomad, turned into a hermit after the incident at his parent's farm."

When you didn't react to her answer, she swiveled in her chair and looked up at you, folding her hands in her lap as if you were the cause of this and her frustration.

"You know, the crazy brother and sister who robbed the casino and killed off nearly half of our troopers? Jay was mixed up in it. That crazy girl had a hold on him… poor boy had so much potential..." With a wave of her hand she turned her back to you, leaving you with more questions than you started with as you tucked his chart behind the stack of other ones in your hand and went back to your station.

The clinic was small, far different than the hospital you were used to on the outskirts of Detroit, but after having been run ragged as a critical care nurse for a few years, you decided it was best to lean into the change and find enjoyment over seeing to the minor ailments of the folks who inhabited this small town. After going through the rest of the charts in your pile and completing all your notes for the patients you had seen that day, all that was left was Jay Mills, and rereading the notes scribbled by the last nurse who saw him five days ago, his absence didn't sit well with you.

"Acute, localized infection between the index and middle finger on left hand…" you mumbled to yourself, speaking to no one as you wondered why he wouldn't come back if his hand was in such a bad state.

They had prescribed him antibiotics from the get-go for the knife injury, but if the wound itself wasn't being properly cleaned and dressed, it would only get worse and would risk sepsis, not to mention if he was off alone and over-using the hand. You lifted up the page with the exam notes to glance at the personal information listed on the one below: his age, height, weight and brief history all there, along with his last known address and phone number. He was two years older than you, and the previous physical examinations he had done were a requirement for professional boxing with everything coming back that he was a healthy, well fit man.

A note indicating that he had since moved to Detroit not long after his last visit was jotted down in red, making you wonder just how far apart you had been in the south of the state and how interesting it was to find yourself in close proximity again without even knowing who he was.

You picked up the receiver of the phone and held it against your cheek with your shoulder, punching in the numbers until the call went through and started ringing. You tapped your pen on the edge of your desk as you waited, hoping to get a hold of the rogue patient who was now assigned to you.

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered.

"Hi there, would I be able to speak with Jay, please?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, he's not here," she began to explain. "May I ask who's calling?"

"I'm a nurse reaching out from the Bear Lake Medical Clinic, apparently Jay has been missing his appointments…"

The woman sighed, and you immediately were able to assume this was his mother.

"Yes, I’m so sorry, he's gone out to the cottage and I'm afraid he isn't planning on coming back into town any time soon. I know his hand wasn't in good shape…"

The worry in her voice made your heart ache for her, and looking again at his age, you sighed at wondering when sons would ever stop causing their mothers grief and what really happened to this man to make him become a recluse.

She happily gave you his cell number and address of the cottage and wished you luck in getting a hold and getting through to him, the plea in her words as she thanked you making you silently vow to try your hardest to make sure he was okay.

After a night of tossing and turning, you thought over your options while brewing your coffee, your yawns interrupting your thoughts just as your thoughts had interrupted your sleep. You wouldn't know the guy if you tripped over him, and yet something about his situation and lack of regard for his health nagged at you unlike any case had before, and you knew you either needed to let it go or see to it yourself in order to ease your persistent mind.

Taking your last sip of coffee that was brewed too strong and too bitter, you decided if you weren't able to get a hold of Jay or if he didn't miraculously turn up at the clinic, that you would drive out to his cottage with the necessary supplies, knowing you would be unable to ease your mind otherwise.

As you continued on with your rushed morning routine, you kept glancing at your phone, half tempted to simply Google every article about the now-infamous incident that disrupted the quiet of Bear Lake, but ultimately let it be, having come this far without having the media taint your views on things here, always preferring to make your judgements and learn about things from your patients and neighbours.

Hours into your shift and just as you had thought, his phone either rang until it went to voicemail or was cut off after the first ring, and although you were sure by now he would have blocked the number, at least you knew he wasn't dead. You even tried calling from your personal phone, hoping he would pick up from an unknown number, but he proved his determination to ignore the outside world to be resilient and neglected that attempt as well.

"Hey, Deb? I'm planning to head off early this afternoon, I have a house call that's a bit of a ways away and I don't want to be driving in the dark with all these bloody deer around and some snow on the way."

She turned her head, cocking an eyebrow at you before her expression turned more suspicious.

"Are you heading out to see the Mills boy?"

"Yes, I really feel it needs to be addressed and this wound could-"

Deb cut you off by holding up her hand, her eyes casting back down to the files on her desk as she started sorting through them again. "I wasn't asking, just be careful."

You smiled before turning and heading to the supply room to gather everything you would need, beginning to think how the personalities of these small town dwellers were starting to grow on you.

You disliked winter on a good day, and cursed it for being even more unbearable this far up north, your drive down the lesser traveled back roads suitable for anything other than your car.

It was beautiful, you would give it that, the snow clinging heavily onto the branches of the pines that had seen more sun rises and moons than you ever would, and you started to accept why someone going through hard times would escape to somewhere so remote and untouched.

The sun was starting to hug the tops of the trees, and with the light quickly fading and still forty minutes left in your drive, you turned the dial up on the volume of your stereo and began singing along to your favourite songs to help calm you.

Finally, and with no deer sightings, you were on the narrow, winding road that led you straight to the Mills’ cottage, the trees thickening the closer you got, but still able to catch a glimpse of where they opened up for the frozen lake sitting beside it.

An older extended cab Ford pickup sat in front of the cozy looking cabin, the gray, two-toned paint covered in a decent layer of snow.

You grabbed your bag out of the back seat and steeled yourself with a deep breath that was sharp on your lungs from how cold the air was, your boots crunching in the unshoveled snow as you made your way to the door of the seemingly well-kept cottage.

Knocking on the door, you inhaled again, this time capturing the comforting smell of a wood-burning fire as you readied yourself for a possibly-irate and unwelcoming patient, but it was nothing you hadn't dealt with before.

The wood door opened a crack, enough to reveal a gorgeous, but wearied and suspicious face on the other side. Piercing blue eyes, closely shaved, blond hair and some growing wheat coloured scruff around his mouth made up the leery looking man before you.

With no time for you to speak first, he nodded, "Who the hell are you?"

You gave your name and explained your intentions as quickly as you could in fear he would shut the door in your face, holding up your bag of supplies while flashing your badge on your lanyard with your other hand.

"I'm fine," he said pointedly, looking past you like he was checking no one else was with you. "This is harassment and a breach of your duties," he explained roughly, his defenses already up. "I'll call the cops."

"Will you?" you asked boldly, assuming he wouldn't and not at all put off by his threats.

His lips thinned as he tucked them between his teeth and looked at the ground before looking back up at you with annoyance.

"Jay, I really think you should just let me take a look at your hand."

You tried to remain as neutral as possible, happy your thrumming pulse was hidden beneath your scarf as you assessed his size and stature, your cheeks flushing and not because of the cold.

He opened the door roughly with his good hand, allowing you to pass through despite the look on his face expressing his displeasure at the situation, "I swear if you called me one more fucking time…"

"What? What would you do?" you asked, maintaining eye contact with him and his eyes that were impossibly beautiful despite the hurt that showed in them while you set your bag on the kitchen table and started to unpack everything.

The cottage was warm, but not warm enough to warrant the beads of sweat forming on his forehead, his skin an ashy tone, and you reached for your thermometer, having already noted his shallow breathing and quick heart rate hammering in his neck.

"How long has it been since you finished the antibiotics?" you asked, aware he should be through the prescribed dosage if he bothered taking them all.

"Three days," he said, but with uncertainty, his words more a guess than a definitive answer.

You drew up a dose in a syringe, using your foot to push out a chair for him to sit.

He hesitated a moment before huffing out a sigh and walking over, and you could feel his gaze burn you when he sat.

"Are you a doctor?"

"Nurse," you simply stated, glancing down at him as you tapped bubbles out of the syringe by flicking your nail against it. Placing it on the table, you reached for your thermometer, holding it up to his mouth where he gave you another reluctant stare.

"I have other places I can put it instead."

His mouth opened, giving you a glimpse of a full set of nice, white teeth and a smooth tongue that made you swallow and feel like your own was too big, his eye contact making your confident disposition break away ever so slightly.

You did your best to look at anything but him and his full lips pressed around the thermometer, but you couldn't help but trace the outline of them with your eyes, transfixed with their shape and alluring shade of pink.

Clearing your throat as the thermometer beeped, you pulled it from his mouth and frowned at the number displayed on the small screen.

As you had assumed, he was running a low-grade fever, and just from your glimpses around the place, you knew he wasn't taking it easy and resting. The fire in the stove was freshly stoked with a whole pile of chopped wood beside it, making you wonder just how much time and energy was spent doing it with only one good hand.

"Pull your arm out, please," you instructed, nodding at his upper arm clad in a hoodie and another long-sleeve shirt underneath.

He did as he was told, still without looking away from you, while you did your best not to take notice of his muscular upper body that was now exposed to you.

You took an alcohol swab and wiped the injection site on his bicep, seeing his cheek flinch out of the corner of your eye as he clenched his teeth. As gently as possible with knowing how much discomfort he was already in, you eased the needle into his skin and slowly pressed down on the plunger with your thumb.

He breathed out, seeming to relax slightly at your careful hand as he likely expected you to jab it in unceremoniously, his eyes casting down to his hands sitting in his lap.

"Let's take a look at that hand," you said, to yourself more than him.

Without a word he placed his left hand on the table, palm side up, and allowed you to unwrap the soiled bandage.

You frowned at the state of it, but sparing him the lecture, you set to work on cleaning and treating it.

"What do you do for work?" you asked, always appreciating idle talk while you focused.

"I was a boxer."

You hummed and felt your eyebrows raise on your forehead, thinking how he wouldn't likely be boxing anytime soon - if ever again - after this injury.

"Was?"

"I stopped before this happened," he explained. "Not by choice."

You looked up at him, pausing your hands for a moment.

"I was in jail."

You frowned and shrugged your shoulders slightly, not fazed by his admission, having dealt with your fair share of all sorts of people from all different walks of life, the injuries you often treated caused by something illegal.

You finished your job and began to pack up, instructing him how to properly care for things and that it would need to be checked again in a few days at the most.

"You're driving back tonight?" he asked, his expression finally switching to concern from being constantly defensive and untrusting.

“Well I'm not staying here,” you smiled, trying to make light while pointing out his icy hosting skills.

One side of his mouth turned upward ever so slightly, bringing out creases on his cheek that flanked it, and he looked up at you after turning over his hand to check out the fresh bandages wrapped around it.

“No, I guess not.”

"Start taking these tomorrow," you said through a sigh, slamming a pill bottle on the table in front of him. "With food, three times a day." You pulled out another container and set it with equal force down beside the other one, "And these if you need them for pain. Don't be a hero."

He breathed out deeply, leaning his bare torso back against his chair and you gathered he wasn't too keen about your comment and assumption that someone like him was too tough for even a mild pain medication.

“I'll be back around 7:00 on Thursday after my shift. Try to keep from using it and please call me at the clinic if anything gets worse.”

You slugged the strap of your bag over your shoulder and started to walk toward the door, pausing and turning back to him to add another thought, having changed your mind.

“Actually, just call my cell if you need anything,” you blurted out casually, as if you were telling your friend to hit you up if they needed you, still feeling worried he would do something to hinder the healing. “Since you have the number in your history of missed calls…”

"Yeah, okay," he reluctantly agreed, remaining seated as you opened the door and saw yourself out with one final look back at him before you closed it behind you, a faint smile tugging at both of your lips.

---

Part 2

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls @littlenosoul @blairsanne @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90 @paintlavillered @ourlonelymountain @stealfromthedevil

I've gone ahead and tagged who I have listed for my general Charlie fics, so if you'd like to not be tagged in this series please just let me know!

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

5 Years Ago, 'Black Panther' Changed the World — But Marvel Failed to Change With It (msn.com)

what do think of this I think it does bring up some fair points

I agree, it brings up some really good points.

We have to be careful though not to fall for the belief that L&T or The Marvels are being criticized because the directors are not white. There is a part of that, racists everywhere unfortunately, but we need to analyse the product like we would with any other director. L&T is just not a good movie and The Marvels is not bad but it's not good either and it's certainly not a sequel for Captain Marvel.

So while Da Costa surely will be getting a lot of hate directed at her for being a POC woman, when it comes to discussing her work I have also seen a lot of people claim if you don't like what she does that means you're racist. So there's a fine line there.

With that said, they get scrutinized a lot more, the demands they have to face are much stricter and when their work is subpar we have to hear the "Women can't direct" which is something you never hear when the bad director is a man (I heard many critics of L&T and Quantumania but none of them said men can't direct).

Da Costa is probably facing the same fate as Brie Larson. When Chris Pratt got a lot of hate a few years ago, everyone jumped in to defend him. But Brie was mostly left alone and now it seems Da Costa is going through the same thing. If the studio can't be arsed to take a stand and defend them, are we really surprised the MCU fanboys feel free to hate on them?

There's also the fact that as per Da Costa's own words, she had no full creative control of The Marvels and the movie is pretty much a Feige movie. Where's the criticism aimed at him? 🤔

One thing from the article I agree with is how fake this "diversity" from Disney/Marvel truly is. The critics love to claim Phase 4+5 are not good because the MCU is focused on diversity but... is that diversity being used well?

Is it really representation when Loki says "a bit of both"? When Sam is Cap but we haven't heard from him since his series (but we get Captain Brexit bullshit every other week)? When some female characters might be taking the spotlight but their stories are not written well and their characterization is all over the place?

Black Panther works (and Wakanda Forever too, that movie is so good) because it's a well-crafted story that is not patting itself on the back every two minutes for how "woke" it is. It's quite simply a good movie done well that focuses on POC. And it works, of course it works!

The way Marvel/Disney approach diversity and representation nowadays is as follows: They do the bare minimum for clout, enough to anger the bigots and keep the rest of the audience happy. They have the best of both worlds: The bigots complain (thus fooling the audience into believing what the MCU does is actual rep), and when we complain that it's not enough, we're paired with the bigots and told we're racist, sexist, etc. It's a vicious circle and Disney loves it.

I really like this part of the article:

“There is a symbiotic relationship between studio and fandom but at the end of the day, the studio sets the tone. Trust that the people you’ve tasked with telling that story can do it to the best of their ability. Stick behind your actors, directors and screenwriters because filmmaking is a collective thing. You have to work as a team.”

That includes sharing the scripts with them in their entirety, being there for them when unfair criticism and hate are thrown their way, hiring more diverse people behind the scenes so we can get richer stories, delivering when providing representation... This is all something they are NOT currently doing.

[xclowniex]

I feel like at some point in this conversation we’re gonna need to actually admit there are some problems kinda inherent to Islam as a religion, arguably there are issues to must religions but must of them try to find ways to scoot around them to continue existing in the secular world, which Islam can do to but evidently doesn’t in countries where it’s the leading theocracy.

I disagree.

I agree with the fact that we shouldn't accept misogyny just because it's part of someone's beliefs and that all religions do have issues, however I disagree with a lot of what you have said.

I personally don't care what beliefs someone holds, as long as it doesn't affect me or anyone else who has not agreed for it to affect them. If a Muslim man believes in women covering up, I do not care and think it is fine to believe that as long as he does not force it upon anyone else. It should be an individuals choice to chose what laws they adhere to. Your religious freedom ends where another persons rights start.

But whilst beliefs like that are a part of Islam, I'm not sure if at least my interpretation of being "inherent to", if that is the right wording or that I agree with that.

Just like there are many ways to be Jewish, there are many ways to be muslim or Christian or any other religion. There are "oppressive" rules within the majority of religions. The reason I put oppressive in quotations is because if they are forced upon a person they are oppressive but if a person willingly chooses to follow them then they are not.

In regards to Islam in other countries where a form of a Islamic regime is in power, it is less so "Islam itself is causing these issues when its the leading belief system" and is simply people using religion as an excuse to be oppressive. Aka, the issue doesn't lie with the religion as a whole, but individuals and organizations that use it for bad.

Like for example, take the US, which is a Christian majority country which Christianity written into law. Whilst it is not to the extreme currently as some Muslim countries, it is still bad. Take project 2025, that is only the start to something disastrously oppressive to multiple groups, under the guise of Christian values. But you wouldn't look at Christianity and go "Damm this can never be the majority religion"

Plus Islam has been able to be a majority religion too without being oppressive. We have seen it before.

Lastly I just want to say, that a lot of what you have written has veered into Islamophobia, which I am staunchly against. It is okay criticize Islam and any religion, and your criticism of the misogynistic aspects of it is fine. Where it veers into Islamophobic is where you imply that Islamic countries are corrupt and oppressive purely because they are Muslim majority countries.

[cosmicjoke]

As a Levi x Erwin shipper myself. I think it's very crazy to think Levi would follow Erwin no matter what. Mikasa who was actually attached and canonically in love with Eren didn't follow him no matter what. She killed him at the end and even before that she didn't become a jeagerist.

Those who think Levi would follow Erwin no matter what are only around for the shipping and a tragic shipping plotline and some admit to this while others try to make it sound factual.

I also think some eruris like to troll people by repeating things they've said that people don't agree with. Most of them repeat these takes to piss people off because they believe they're the only Levi shippers who get criticized a lot when there's other Levi ships claiming crazier things. I have seen levihans say Levi only cried in the end for Hange because they never cried any other time for any other comrade until Hange died and Levi said his final goodbye but that take never really gets criticized or talked about.

At the end of the day, and as someone who also occasionally trolls people. A lot of eruris know Levi wouldn't follow Erwin no matter what lol. We're trolling. It's just to piss of people who deny how important Erwin was to Levi and vise versa.

I'm sure there's normal shippers like yourself who know it's absurd to claim Levi would have followed Erwin no matter what. But I've seen plenty of shippers who claim this in earnest, and without any sort of sarcasm or irony, and I've been viciously attacked by these same shippers, accusing me of all kinds of horrible things, saying things like I'm homophobic simply for stating the canon fact that Levi and Erwin aren't romantically together, or harassing me, actually creating multiple accounts to harass me over my refusal to accept their takes. That goes beyond trolling, and trolling in and of itself is, imo, an ugly thing to engage in. I've seen that take also spread around by Levi haters, and used as one of the main points of criticism against Levi by haters, and I have to think they likely picked it up from shippers spreading around that trash. Whether done in earnest or to troll people, it's harmful to people's understanding of Levi's character, and has created a perception about his character that simply isn't true, and shouldn't be tolerated. That's why I make it a point to counter these takes with actual, serious analysis. Levi's character gets wildly misunderstood, particularly because of shipping and ship wars and all the stupidity that goes on there, and if you care about Levi's character, I think the best way to show that is by actively combating the misconceptions about him, rather than spreading them. As you said, those who think Levi would follow Erwin blindly have a clear agenda, projecting their desire for Levi and Erwin to fit into whatever mold of doomed and tragic romance they envision onto their words and actions, twisting their characters to fit what they want, rather than just accepting them for who they are.

On the other hand, I doubt there's anyone with any, actual understanding of Levi's or Erwin's character that doesn't know or understand how important they are to each other. Anyone with even an ounce of media literacy should be able to pick up on that. The problem is, is when people extrapolate that out into Levi only caring about Erwin, or caring more about Erwin than anyone else. It's just simply not true.

Levi's relationship with Erwin is more complex than his relationship with Hange, and so given to more complex and nuanced discussion. I think that's why you see some of the more absurd takes of Levihan shippers get ignored, because their friendship wasn't as impactful, philosophically speaking, as Erwin's and Levi's was on each other. There's little room, when looking at Levi's relationship with Hange, to twist it into something it's not, because it's fairly straight forward. But again, Levi's relationship with Erwin isn't so simple, and so you see a lot of brain-dead takes regarding it that require more push back because those takes can easily be misconstrued as canonical fact.

At the end of the day, Levi and Erwin aren't romantically involved, there's no, concrete evidence to support that they are, or that Levi acted out of romantic feelings when he made the choice he did in Shinganshina, or in his decision to follow Erwin at all, and trying to filter their relationship and Levi's actions through that lens will, inevitably, lead to a horrible misinterpretation of his and Erwin's characters both. It creates a fundamentally flawed perception of who they are.

I just wish more people actually tried to treat these characters and this story with some level of seriousness.

Shipping and discussions of shipping is a waste of time to me, and has literally zero to do with the story of AoT or it's characters beyond actual, canon pairs, like Mikasa and Eren, and even then, the romance is largely unfulfilled. AoT isn't a story about romantic love. For Levi and Erwin, it doesn't apply at all. It's fine to explore ideas of romance between them in fanfiction and fan art, but it should never enter serious discussions about the actual canon story or characters.

[limeade-l3sbian]

i read the anti-porn masterpost that you reblogged. it disgusts me so much and i can’t stop thinking about it. i want to ask, how do you keep your head up in the midst of all this? how am i supposed to keep going out in public and interacting with the world whilst knowing that most of the men i see are the same men who are watching horrific pornography in private? how am i supposed to exist when i know the men around me don’t see me as human?

Lately I’ve been feeling that pornography and rape culture is so widely accepted that there’s no point in fighting it. Men are violent and perverted by nature and that will never change. I don’t want to exist in this world as a woman. I don’t want to live when so many people around me see me as subhuman.

I’ve been feeling so hopeless. I apologize for venting in your ask box; your blog just feels like a safe space to express these things. I don’t know how to cope and I need help.

No need to apologize. :) I tell people, unless I say otherwise, my ask box is a place to say literally any thought or vent that comes to mind.

It's hard for me to give proper advice about this. Just simply because other than one male at my job, I literally do not interact with me anymore. I cut my dad off and have never been close with other male relatives in my family, so...life has kind of been going on per usual for me. I work almost exclusively with women, I live with a female relative, all of my friends are female, etc..

I also can't give you the best advice on suicide ideation, since I suffer from it myself. It is important to me that when people ask me for advice, I am completely honest with them about what advice actually helps me and if it helped me long term or short term. I never want to give you empty promises that "it's all going to be okay!" etc.. Because sometimes, that isn't the case.

I take my strength from the women I interact with. Online and in my real day to day life. I garner my hope seeing women start to really peak and ask questions and make criticisms about men without feeling like they have to qualify their righteous anger.

I can't magically wish or pray away misogyny. I can't promise you that even in your lifetime, you will see momentous change in the way women view themselves and how they fight back against men. What i can tell you is that hope and happiness, in such a situation, come from community. Your fellow woman. You said: how am i supposed to keep going out in public and interacting with the world whilst knowing that most of the men i see are the same men who are watching horrific pornography in private?

You keep going out and living because that in and of itself is defiance. Not allowing the fear and anger of oppression to keep you huddled in a corner is what let's them know who you are. Going out and living is what let's other women who have been trapped or feel trapped in fear know that life can continue. The prevalence of porn and rape culture is a reaction to women's growing consciousness.

You shouldn't give up because people, like me, care about you. I say this all the time and I hope every anon that I've ever said this to knows that I mean it: now that I know you exist? You matter to me. You mattered to me before, just as a person. But now that i know that YOU specifically, exist and felt trusting enough to give me this burden that's been weighing down your heart, I trust you to know that your presence in this world will NEVER be dictated by the porn-influenced and misogyny-ingrained whims and demands of men.

You're a woman who is reacting to the oppression around her, as any woman would. And you have to see it through, with me, because once every voice of defiance gets snuffed out, the voices of oppressors are no longer hindered.

[unpopularfanopinion]

if your defense of ao3 ignores the racism and zionism displayed by both users and staff then you are in no position to call people white supremacists. protecting bigotry under the guise of "free speech" while belittling and shouting down opposition is exactly what conservatives do. don't act like the people who disagree with you are republican adjacent when you've used their ideals to make your point as well.

i hope you snap your neck falling off that high horse lmao.

I am going to try to say this as simply, bluntly, and kindly as possible. I have not compared anyone demanding additional content moderation than the current legal stand they use to being white supremacists. I have compared them to conservative authoritarians. If you think being a white supremacists, or supporting white supremacy is inherently or intrinsically tied to conservative authoritarianism you are sadly mistaken.

A Frank Wilhoit gave one of the best description of conservatives and conservatism ever

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect

There is no marginalized group that is so inherently good and pure that they will not have members who desiring, power and control over others will try to place themselves as the protected in-group and others into the subjugated outgroup. (and oddly enough you're complaining about one such example of an oppressed marginalize group that successfully turn itself in a group of conservative, authoritarian oppressors. If you can't tell yes I am talking about the Zionists. While tight media control and propaganda helped them get away with it for so long, part if was also "Oh they were so harassed and oppressed in so many places and for so long. They has a people understand the pain of oppression. They wouldn't go harm another people.)

As I have mentioned in the past being conservative is more about a way of thinking and HOW you come to your positions rather than about the positions themselves. Studies have demonstrated that conservatives have a much stronger disgust reaction than liberals. So when an idea or concept triggers a feeling of disgust they immediately assume that thing to be evil, immoral etc. . . without truly taking the time consider if it’s actually harmful(or even disgusting sometimes it’s just different) This winds up making them fearful of change and non-conforming behavior.

This feeling of disgust also makes them feel justified in certain forms of bigotry making up all manner of excuses to call whatever disgusts them immoral. Such as supposedly leftist progressives being ablelist and claiming that any disabled person is basically a child and therefore featuring disabled people having sex(fictional or live action)is no different than CSEM.

Conservatism is more often less about the specific position a person claims to hold and more about how they got to those positions, and how they intend to fix the issues and problems that they find.

Conservatives hide behind claims of free speech when they wants to spam, harass, and troll people(and often using other people's equipment such as servers to do so) And I have noticed that when people like you actually seem to care about free speech on Ao3, when you want to spam comments, troll people, and harass people using Ao3's comment features either on news posts or on people's stories.

There is a lot to criticize about Ao3's response to reports of racist harassment, and how they resolve interpersonal disputes between volunteers, however none of that can or would be resolved by them even trying to make additional content rules or attempt to ban "bad fic" Because despite what you think someone writing a bad fic, or using certain tropes(tropes are tools, tropes are not bad) is not in and of itself harassment.

And also no, Ao3 staff telling one volunteer not to harass, and abuse another and reminding them of the professional code of conduct they expect from ALL volunteers is not proof of Zionism among Ao3's staff. Pretty much everyone involved in that fight on Slack on reprimanded for it but only one went crying to the internet about it. If that had happened between a Ukrainian volunteer and Russian volunteer and the Ukrainian volunteer quit would you be accusing Ao3 of being pro-Russia?