#if you all havent noticed i make it my job to have the world come crashing down around this italian-british man's ears

[todderwodders]

ok actually though. I really love the narrative mirror of the slow shift in the tide for the Banite cult of Baldur's Gate. Like Durge was already disposed of and replaced and they were the literal child of a god. Gortash is just some cunt with bad breeding and too many schemes. The beginnings of a coup getting it's boots on while the Absolute plot begins to fall apart from his fellow Banites who are looking for any proof (or weak point) to knock him off his pedestal after he did all the heavy lifting to establish the cult in BG is such a Banite move.

if the game wont give me political intrigue i'll make it up myself.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

too many teens whining for validation, this blog needs more weird and stupid so...

AITA for kidnapping my friend and trapping her in the cheesebarn?

Hear me out:

The story starts about a week before my (20 at the time ftm) 21st birthday. If you live in the US you know this isnt just some lame 7th birthday or 36th birthday, this is one of the big boy birthdays, the special ones. Its when you can legal buy alcohol and are therefore truly an adult in the eyes of the law.

Naturally my friends (20s) wanted to do something Big for our 21sts. So they asked me what i wanted to do and i said i didnt really care as long as I got a road trip somewhere with friends.

Everyone thought it was a fun idea but it was a little short notice for everyone to get time off from work, but my other friend we will call C also had her 21st exactly a month after mine to the day, and the two of us agreed to share our 21sts and not do much of anything on my actual birthday. This is important, bc it was a SHARED birthday road trip.

I agree to let C pick the destination and I provide the car. We didnt have much of a plan as we were going to meet up with C's old roommate who lives in the city we picked to show us a good time.

It was 5 of us total and about a 7 hour drive altogether there with not a whole lot on the way there. We get to the city she picked and meet the roommate and honestly the rest of this part is just standard 21st birthday shenanigans. Its when we start the drive home things really start.

Remember its a long drive with not much to see? Well that was a lie. On our way back we see it, the Real "Happiest Place on Earth" as far as places with a mouse for a mascot go:

Grandpa's.

Fuckin'.

Cheesebarn.

Obviously me and the other people on the trip want to stop and see the magic, but unfucking fortunately C happens to be the only Basic White Girl ™️ in the entire world who hates cheese and isnt even lactose intolerant. This girl is notorious for making "petty" and "I hate Cheese" her entire personality. She would constantly make faces and gagging noises and talk about how gross and nasty cheese is if you so much as eat a grilt cheese near her.

Clearly she made it known that she wasnt on board with it. "NO! FUCK YOU ALL IM NOT GOING TO A PLACE CALLED A CHEESEBARN ON MY BIRTHDAY!!" were her exact words.

But i remembered i was driving, it was my car, and it was supposed to be my birthday too. So I put it to a vote. "Raise your hand if you wanna go to Grandpa's Cheesebarn!"

All hands raise but one. With C out voted we head to the cheesebarn.

Guys. This place is amazing. Its obviously making cheese its main draw, but yhere's so much more, its every shitty midwest tourist trap rolled into one glorious place. There's even a chocolate shop. We even got C's roommate to ditch work and come meet us bc shr heard "Grandpa's Cheesebarn" and knew she had to drop everything.

All in all a good visit, C even seemed like she had fun once we got there (she sure spent $300 on candies and dip mixes anyway). We go home. Things seem fine.

Then C drops off the face of the earth.

She wont respond to our calls or texts and at first we thought maybe she was giing through a rough patch or something and try to just keep reaching out but give her space. But then we find out that not only is she still hanging our with our other friends who couldnt make the trip with us. So clearly she's just pissed at us about something.

Finally one day a few months later i catch her at her job and just tell her "I dont care if you hate us, we'll never speak to you again if you dont want us to, but what the hell did we do to you??"

And she just looked me over and says "Well. You kidnapped me."

lolwut

And she yells (bc this girl loves yelling at people) "YOU KIDNAPPED ME AND TRAPPED ME AT A CHEESEBARN ON. MY. BIRTHDAY!!!!!"

And i just said "Well it was my birthday too," and havent spoken to her since. Its been over a decade and "No ragrets" as we said back in the day, but uts baffled me for years that that was her reaction. "Im just over you guys" i can understand, and its not like she was shy about telling people she hates them and their out of her life ever before. And from what i ended up hearing from our other friends she kept talking with it really was about the cheesebarn and how we "ruined her birthday".

No but srsly AITA??? For making her go to a cheesebarn???

What are these acronyms?

[formulawonu]

hello !! i like your writing sooo much <3 may i request how seventeen would be when they have a crush on you? tyvm ^____^

seventeen & crushes

a/n: hi!!! thank u so much for ur kind words!! im back i missed u tumblr world. i miss svt so much. sorry this was a lil too long :”) alexa play crush by seventeen rn

seungcheol: plsss HE WOULD ABSOLUTELY MELT EVERY. TIME. SOMETHING CUTE HAPPENS BETWEEN U BOTH 😭 and his crush would be seen in the tiniest of details. like if cheol knew he was going to see u or ~potentially~ bump into u he would make sure to wear more of his cologne that u once said smelled really good. he wouldnt tell anyone but he would spend a lil longer getting ready to make sure he looked good if he sees u. practices what he could talk to u about. but in front of u he would be so nonchalant 🥱 fml it’d be like “oh? y/n ur here?” HE KNEW U WERE COMING THATS WHY HE CAME GET OUT CHEOL

jeonghan: no bec hannie would be so cute :/ like he’d affectionately annoy u throughout the day because he just loves having u part of his day. he just loves talking to u. specifically you. it makes him happy and giddy. and he doesn’t think much of it until someone else (read as: shua and seungkwan) brings it up dshjfdf “so jeonghan ur lil crush on y/n is cute” “what ?” then he proceeds to think abt it and its a lightbulb moment and then he gets kinda cute and shy around u and ur like “jeonghan whats wrong with you u havent said anything weird these past few days its getting weird” he just starts giggling around u shut up 😭 then masks it by saying smth like “so you DO like it when i annoy u 😏 my masterplan is working” ok gaslighter

joshua: SWEETEST. GUY. EVER. like i think shua is the type to regularly check on you throughout the day or leave u good morning texts idek 😭 like he’d say he hopes u have a good day and then lets u know he’s free to talk at night if u wanna talk abt how ur day went haha just in case haha but its no biggie if you cant haha (he’s really overthinking this is he being too pushy????) and i think he’d realize pretty quickly he has a crush on you when he notices he likes being near u when u guys are in the same place and he’d be like huh this is happening! but who wouldn’t like them! would continue being the sweet guy he is and hopes for the best 🤞

junhui: noooooo my sweet junhui 😭 he would really remember every single thing you tell him. you have a test on this day? he’s wishing you good luck first thing in the morning or buying you breakfast/coffee before it because u can’t take a test on an empty stomach! you have a job interview or an event? he’s helping you get ready for it and practicing whatever could happen to help you prepare. u like this specific snack and he’s going to be seeing u soon? takes a pic of it to send to u then buys it so he can give it to u. he’s such a selfless and caring guy by nature and all he wants is to be there for you in any way he can. IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY LIKE we all see how caring he is towards the other members can u imagine being on the receiving end of his affection

hoshi: this could really go two ways honestly lmfao he is either EXTREMELY distant from u because he thinks anything else would make his crush on u waaaay too obvious and he needs to be the cool guy!!!!! and he can’t do that if he cant get his damn heart to calm down every single time ur around!!!! or he could literally be everywhere u are 🤣 its like fuck the cool guy look i like her what can i do ??? like u show up to a party and suddenly ur like omg soonyoung ur here. “yea u said u were going so here i am!” or u tell him ur alone studying at a cafe and he shows up bec he “didnt want u to be lonely” 😭 honestly he has the best intentions he just wants to be there for u bec it makes him happy and hopefully it makes u too :””) grrrrrr

wonwoo: this one kills me because he’d REALLY REALLY try 😭😭😭 and i don’t mean this in a tries to be someone they are not kind of thing but he’d make so much effort to connect with u ://// like whenever he sees u he’d find ways to talk to you even if it’s the awkward “hey how are you” “i’m doing good! how are you” “i’m doing good too (◠﹏◠)” then hes internally panicking scrambling running around his head trying to think of what else he can say so the conversation doesn’t end and he ends up talking/asking about the randomest shit like so do you come here often NO WONU Y/N DOESNT THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND’S HOUSE PARTY YOU KNOW THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN HERE my god he’s so precious please take care of him please take care of his heart please love me back wonu *cue seungkwan imitating his laugh*

woozi: i almost teared up thinking about jihoon having a crush on u. my god like on the outside he’d be nearly the same he always is but those that know abt it see that his gaze flits ever so often to where you are when you’re around. just to make sure you’re okay. just to make sure you’re having a good time. just to see u smile bec that alone makes his day :/ PLZZZZ and every time u talk to him his heart flutters a lil quicker his smile is a lil bigger and the crinkles by his eyes come out a lil more. if ur someone close to him and u visit him in his studio regularly but u somehow stop visiting bc ur getting a lil busier these days he’d shoot u a quick text and be like why havent u been annoying me in the studio recently (thats code for: i miss you. i wanna see you. is everything all good with you?) KMN!!!!!

minghao: i think he’d be very honest w himself about it. like it’s just a crush it happens. these are minghao’s present feelings and he accepts them as they come ! my mature guy. he doesn’t try to force anything because he wants everything to just happen naturally!!!! ofc he makes it a point to say hello to you first whenever you come around and he makes sure to send u the name of that book he told u about and he could come with you to go get a copy if you’d like :”) ofc he thinks about u and how ur doing more often than he realizes. he just… he just loves the feeling of having a crush on you. it’s so exciting and new and the premise of being able to get to know you more and the potential things you guys could bond over is something so splendid so personal so special to him plz crush him back

mingyu: I DONT WANNA THINK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MINGYU WILL NEVER HAVE A CRUSH ON ME but he would be so silly so cute so overwhelmingly charming everytime u are around. we know how clumsy the guy is but he’s stumbling over his words cracking the lamest jokes to make u laugh casually putting his arm around you when you guys are walking to protect u (hes freaking out should he have done that????) LIKEEEEE HE’D BE SO CUTE IDK IF U SEE THE VISION BUT I SEE THE VISION 😭 but he’d also be so freaking cool that u would never even THINK that he has a crush on you. because he’s just that endearing. he’s offering to bring you places because he’ll be in the area (he’s actually coming from his place) he’s hugging you a lil longer goodbye he’s calling you at night just to hear your voice he’s sending you pics of himself to update u on what he’s doing he’s so dhkjdsfghskjgf just one chance mingyu

seokmin: byeeeeee this man is the opposite of discreet hdfgksjfhdg but its the cutest thing ever 😭 the moment he realizes he has a crush on u he suddenly gets all shy around you always just smiling at you finding ways to be closer to you like maybe sitting across you when ur out eating with friends because it’s not too close but not too far and he could still talk to you and see you :/ he’s blushing every time u compliment him on something idek he’d just be so cute and flustered all the time ahshadajdh fr after he makes a joke and you’re like “seokmin ur so funny” he’d be like “REALLY 🥹” proceeds to make the same joke in variations just to make u laugh more and bec he knows u find it funny so it’s fool-proof!!!!! he’s making u laugh it’s music to his ears!!!! but would 9/10 panic if he was ever left alone with u and he isn’t that close to you so all he does is smile at u until u ask him smth and he can breathe a lil more and relax into the convo

seungkwan: awww seungkwan would be so comfortable around u. so caring. he’d look after you and remind u every day to take ur vitamins! don’t forget to feed ur pet! make sure to leave by this time so u aren’t late! but he’d also treat you like his best friend. like i think he realizes he has a crush on u while u guys are bickering over smth so stupid and he’s like wow i don’t think i would ever want to bicker abt something this stupid with anyone else :”””) hahahakillmenowhahahaha and he’d always be attached to ur hip when u guys are out like he’s just always looking out for you and is so carefree whenever ur there so it’s such a refreshing feeling for him to have someone like that in his life pls care for him back ;/ pls look out for him too bec thats the only thing he wants to do for you!!!!

vernon: mans is absolutely SHOCKED. FLOORED. like?????? he didn’t know he had time to have a crush?????? when did this happen?????? but then after thinking abt it for a while he’s like hm yea that does check out 🤣 tbh i think he doesn’t change how he is with you at all. it’s a crush he’s not in grade school anymore ! but alas it manifests itself in his life in different ways. suddenly he has to make sure you taste this amazing dish he had. he has to make sure u check out this dope song he found. have you even watched the world’s funniest movie (to him)??? there’s so much of the important and special things in his life he suddenly wants to share with you and he just cares so much about what you think and your opinion of things bec you’re so cool and he’s so curious about who you are and boom there you go mr chwe you DO have a crush so what!

dino: djhfgmhdgmf CAN LEE CHAN CUT IT OUT HE ISN’T GETTING MARRIED HE ISN’T IN LOVE ITS JUST A CRUSH GET UP!!!!!! this guy is literally overthinking everything. what should he do now ? does he confess ? are they the one ? 😭😭😭 slow down sailor u are simply fond of the person -__- he’s deep in thought and u have a member asking him whats wrong why is he so stressed and hes just like i just ruined everything my life is over i like y/n . BYE that shit spreads so fast whoever asked him is informing the gc and suddenly everyone is involved everyone is teasing him and he can’t do anything abt it because THEY ARE RIGHT HE’S A SUCKER FOR YOU 😭 would actually message u abt it and be like ahahaha hi how’s it going how’s your day been wanna hang out tomorrow miss you fml but he’s cute he’s boyfriend-coded just a lil lost at times but he means well 🤣

[theygotlost]

come play venture bros postcanon tuoys with me? :)

hank isnt interested in higher education or a full time career and he literally wrote down his dream job as "drifter". I see him taking up a lot of odd jobs and sporadic minimum wage stuff but really i believe he was meant for the stage. shallow gravy never makes it big time but they get like the weirdest most random gigs ever and eventually they release a full album and everyone fucking hates it and hank gets called a nepo baby. which is true. but going beyond the music hank is always dressing up and playing characters and ofc there was the time he called himself destiny and refused to take off the strength suit you see where im going with this YEP Destiny is his drag name. and im imagining destiny playing shallow gravy gigs so she'd have a kinda gothy alternative amy lee aesthetic going on and she would slay.

in case you havent noticed I hateee that dermott joined OSI it just feels forced and his buzzcut is ugly. dont worry though I can fix this. the thing about dermott is that he talks a big game but in reality is a pathetic loser. it's like that episode of malcolm in the middle where reese joins the army but crumbles as soon as he's faced with combat training. dermott either drops out or gets kicked out for doing something stupid but either way they probably have to wipe his memory and its like it never happened. outside of shallow gravy i see him doing random blue collar stuff and like... riding dirtbikes and shit. also he was probably lying about having a pilots license but idk maybe he does have one. i think he should have one

dean says he doesnt know what he wants to do with his future so his major at stuyvesant is probably still undeclared rn... but remember that for a while his dream job was "boy reporter" and he even printed that adorable little home newspaper so that points to a career in journalism. in the second half of the show dean's vibe is "im probably transgender but there are supervillains trying to kill me so i don't have time to worry about that right now" and being able to have a (relatively) normal college experience away from home around people her own age would be the final push she needs to start transitioning. also i have this vivid image in my mind of dawn becoming a photographer and i have no idea where it came from but that would fit well with the reporter stuff and she could be a photojournalist! but I also see her being interested in fashion photography and doing all of destiny's glamour shots and stuff so that's her hobby that does outside of work .and she NEEEDS to be an obnoxious twee amateur photographer living in NYC she deserves it she's earned it !!!!!

triana's probably an accomplished sorceress by now!! goddd i miss triana i just want her back. idk if she would move to new york permanently but she would come visit her dad and get to hang out with dawn again. and she's realized shes a lebian and they get back together PLEASEE? :3 im not really sure what she would do with her sorcery powers but I guess she could be a low level superhero? she wouldn't be interested in anything crazy like saving the world but she would have fun busting up low level bank robbers and classic stuff like that and she and jared could hang out. or perhaps she's available for hire and will do magic stuff for whoever

[beebotea]

☁️ ˖⁺ lonely together — geto suguru

pairing: geto x gn!reader genre: fluff, a smidge of angst word count: 1.8k cw: post hidden inventory arc, reader is referred to as “darling”, morally gray reader, slightly suggestive joke at the end (idk geto insinuates u shower tgt), geto calls non-sorcerers monkeys i.e.: “i can fix him.” nah. he's perfect as he is

“so if youre lonely, no need to show me. if youre lonely, come be lonely with me.”

“suguru!”

you called out from the bottom of the hill, staring up at the entrance to the temple you had seen pictures of in yaga’s office. a board filled with pins and red rope connecting to other pictures related to geto suguru’s disappearance.

the man dressed in monk’s clothing with cascading raven hair done into a half-do stopped and turned towards you.

you noticed how his eyes widened upon seeing you. he looked healthier since you last saw him.

“suguru! did you sleep well last night?”

“it was enough. shouldnt you be preparing for your mission?”

“suguru! i got us some snacks from the bakery on the way home! do you want to try them with me and gojo?”

“no, it’s alright. im going to take a shower and rest in my room. you two go ahead without me.”

“suguru! i havent seen you in days, come out of your room, please? i miss you. everything’s been so boring lately…”

“im a bit tired. i have a mission tomorrow morning. goodnight.”

“suguru. tell me whats wrong… you havent hugged or kissed or even looked at me in weeks.”

“i dont really want to talk about it right now. i need to go soon, y/n.”

“be safe.”

“suguru? so it’s true?”

“it is.”

“youre leaving us?”

“i have to. dont you think we, those who are gifted, deserve more than the reality we live in?”

“what?”

“i want to thank you for worrying about me all this time and trying to make me feel better. i’ll miss you, goodbye, y/n.”

you remember returning to your dorm that day in a daze, tears long dried during your walk home, pondering his last words to you. apparently he’d been a lot more harsh on satoru than with you or shoko in his parting words.

you wanted to hate him for leaving you and everyone behind as if none of it ever mattered. as if everything he’d said to you in the past few years was a lie.

it had always been the four of you. but now, more than ever, you felt alone. you, satoru, and shoko all had a void that no amount of cigarettes or alcohol could fill. nothing could make you forget how warm the world used to be. how beautifully the moon used to glow. how bright the stars used to shine. now, all you could see was the vast darkness in between.

although your time was spent with two others as often as you could make possible, you felt inexplicably lonely.

we deserve more?

for the first few months, you were convinced he’d gone crazy, lost his mind, didn’t know what he was thinking.

but the more missions you took and the more casualties you witnessed, you started to understand what he meant. jujutsu sorcerers walk on a thin sheet of ice separating them from life and death. all the work they do and all the sacrifices they make for nothing more than monetary compensation.

we must protect those who cant protect themselves, satoru had said. but who was there to protect us? you thought in rebuttal.

haibara yu was only 17 when he passed. amanai riko was 14 when she was assassinated. gojo and geto were 18 when they were hunted and barely survived.

was it really all that worth it?

you remembered walking through the next few months of your last year in high school barely responding—as if it all went by in a blur.

nanami dropping out of jujutsu high, gojo mastering his domain expansion, shoko getting into medical school, you receiving your sorcerer’s license. did any of that mean anything if you all just died soon after?

the only thing you could recall clearly from your last year was bejng called to yaga’s office and offered a job as a teacher at the school.

you remember getting a glimpse of his board, filled with intel and pictures noting geto suguru’s activities. you recognized the temple and the trees surrounding it in a picture.

it was near your childhood home in the mountains where an old religious took base.

“i’ll have to decline, principal yaga.”

“dont get me wrong, you’ll still be sent on missions, you wont be cooped up here all the time. you’re a first-grade sorcerer after all—“

“really, principal yaga. i dont want to be a teacher here.”

“y/n?” suguru didnt take his eyes off of you as you bolted up the staircase, wrapping your arms around his shocked body.

“i missed you.” you smiled at him, feeling him instinctively wrap his arms around your waist as you pulled away.

“how did you find me?”

“i have my ways.”

he let out a gentle chuckle, one that youve been wanting to hear so badly for the last 14 months. “of course you do.” he tucked a strand if hair behind your ear, reminding you of the sweet and gentle young man you fell for in the beginning of high school. he took a moment to take in your appearance. he hadn’t seen you in so long and would be lying if he said he didnt miss you as well.

“i missed you too, y/n. why are you here?”

“well—”

“if youre here to convince me to come back. its not going to work.”

“wasnt really planning to.” you shrugged.

“oh?” he raised his brow, taken aback by your response. it was almost as if a weight was taken off his shoulders. it was hard enough to push you away once, a second time would probably break him entirely.

suguru couldnt help but let out a relived sigh, showing you the smile youve been dreaming of since he left. “so if youre not here for that, then i take it youre still sooo in love with me then arent you.”

“hey! im still mad at you, dont act all normal with me just yet.” you rolled your eyes, playfully swatting him on the shoulder. in all honesty you should be a lot more upset, livid perhaps, by the way he left it all behind. leaving your life without so much as saying ‘i love you’ or even sharing a kiss in the 3 weeks before his sudden rampage driven departure. but the thing was, your mind couldnt seem to care anymore. your tears and anger had long run out the first three months. your grieving had come to an end almost a year ago and now, you couldnt help but just be happy to see him again.

“right. im sorry.” he never took his eyes off of you as he spoke. “i didnt want to leave so abruptly like that. its just— i dont think i could stay in that world and continue to be happy.”

“i don’t completely understand what happened, suguru, but i know how you feel…” he nodded at your reply and began to guide you into the building.

“i wouldnt change anything even if i went back. except, maybe wait for you to come to the same realization. but believe me when i say this, ive always loved you. it just didnt feel right to say anything when i couldnt even love myself.” he said, holding your hand as the two of you walked through the traditional temple halls.

“was it lonely?”

“a little at first. but not so much anymore. ive found a new family and now with you by my side, i think i can finally call it complete.” he smiled at you, stopping by two large doors at the end of the hallway. “i want you to meet them.”

“theyre in there?” he nodded.

two months had passed since you arrived on the doorstep of his temple. two months for you to feel at home and with purpose beside your new family. two months was all it took for you to be completely by his side at all times, not that it was difficult. sure he was a bit more cruel and less kind to non-sorcerers than he had been in the past. but really, who was to blame him?

in any case, you knew that you fell in love with how he treated you and how he made you feel. him being relentlessly kind to others back then had only been a bonus, really. you couldnt care less about how he treated those ungrateful animals anymore anyways.

“y/n-san! geto-san said he’s too busy to take us to the shopping district right now! we really wanted to buy new shoes this weekend.” mimiko pouted at you, bursting into your room without knocking, barreling straight into your arms and sending the brush out of your grasp.

“cant you two wait a little bit longer? then all four of us can go to town together.” you opened your arm to welcome nanako as she dejectedly followed behind her sister.

“y/n’s right you two,” you looked up to see suguru standing at the doorway, fondly smiling at the spectacle before him. “i have maybe three more clients, a shower, and then i can take us all there, alright?”

the girls perked up at his voice, cheering and running over to him.

he took a step back from the running children and held his hands up to stop their advances. “no, no, dont get too close. i still have the monkey smell on me. i cant get you two dirty, now can i?” he looked back up to where you were sitting at the vanity. “y/n, dear.”

“yes, suguru?”

“would you like to help me with my last few clients? its awfully boring without you, you know.”

“do i have to?”

“well, if youre there then i mught be able to finish even earlier than expected and we’ll get to leave sooner too. right girls?” he winked at mimiko and nanako.

they excitedly nodded and begged for you to go with him. “yeah! please, y/n-san! we’ll be good while you’re helping out!”

“alright, alright, fine. i’ll go. but no playing on my phone alright? i bought you two plenty of nice books the last time we went out.”

“we promise!” they pushed you out of your own room and towards geto before slamming the door behind you.

suguru let out a soft chuckle as you walked towards his extended arm and linked your arm with his.

“hmph. using the girls against me. you play so dirty, suguru.”

“well how else would i get what i want darling? and besides, that just means you���ll have to rid of the monkey smell by taking a shower with me.”

“perv.”

the world you lived in had started to feel lonely. those worthy of suguru’s new world were few and far between compared to the vast population of animals surrounding you. but right now, your heart feels full. even if the world outside your paradise is bleak and lonely, the least it could do was to let you stay with your perfect family and be lonely together.

a/n: yeah best reality is when geto is happy and gojo is happy and everyone is happy because no one turned evil… but if evil why pretty? our boy can do no wrong!!

[scream4ash]

tw 4 addiction, talks of self harm, talks of disordered eating, mental illness, self destructive tendencies, just overall me being a piece of shit.

hey, guys. ash here. i guess i wanna apologize for just dissapearing. when i had originally started posting, and decided i was going to be a writer i was sober, n in a better headspace. since then i have relapsed, n fallen into the cycle of addiction n destruction n just overall have not been in a good place.

i have struggled with substance abuse since i was around 13, mainly being alcohol or weed due to easy access. more recently in january of this year i had started abusing antihistamines. that way, i could tell myself it was just medicine, there was no harm in what i was doing. for those of you who don’t know, antihistamines are anti-allergy meds.

on march 17, i had overdosed. my girlfriend had found me on my bedroom floor seizing out. i was brought to the hospital via ambulance, n released the same day. i would love to say i stopped, n i realized the way im going would kill me, but i didnt. i had overdosed again 8 days later. this time when i was brought in to the er i was put on suicide watch. then i wouldve denied any attempts at harming myself, but deep down i didnt care the outcome. though im just now realizing i never really cared about what’d happen to me, but i think part of me always knew. i knew the consequences, i decided that god shall decide my fate.

i was then transferred from the er to a psychiatric unit where i was treated for depression n bipolar disorder.

when i was released a week later i decided it would be a new chapter. i had gotten a job, i was sober, n most importantly people saw me.

that lasted for around two months. the euphoria i felt had all come crashing down. i had slowly rejoined the forgotten, my own friends forgetting about me. i had fell back into isolation n self-hatred. i was fading out again, n no one noticed. no one noticed when i had started skipping meals, or the way my body physically could not allow itself to keep a single bite of food down, or the lack of sleep, even the empty look in my eyes. i have yet again fallen into the hand of addiction, seeking comfort from what i know is no longer there, what may have never been there in the first place. i have barely left my house, only going outside to walk my dog. i can no longer recognize who i see in the mirror. more recently i havent even been able to get out of bed to go to work.

i feel the need to clarify that i am 19 years old, the life i am living is not the life to live. i am actually all alone in the world. guys, if u, or a friend, or a parent, or a loved one, hell even ur worst enemy. if anyone u know, or may know of is struggling with addiction, let them know you are there. let them know that you havent gave up, youre still fighting for them. if ur thinking about trying drugs, or alcohol, hell even weed. don’t. take it from me. dont.

i havent been very active on here, n i am sorry. i am going to reopen my requests and start posting short works/blurbs. i will also get to the requests in my inbox, n those will be filled as blurbs. again, i’m sorry 4 bailing on you guys.

also so super sorry for the sob story, idk. kinda feels good to get this shit of my chest. idk, makes me feel like u guys know me kinda.

@calumikey @ashen-char @f4ngtooth @theactualqueenelizabeth @brittanysnowsgf @iheartambss @phorsphyn @spiderb00 @allsovls @jennaortegaswifey @liaisbaeee @xxxninjaxxx23 @chaejiberry @nohumanityhope @blakeroni @mm-myluv @amberfreemanmygirlfriend @lilahaga @mikeymisser @carolcunha7 @not-alesha @burninghotlava @shaunashipmanism @chaoticghosthoagiegoop @paigesbabymama @spidersareskrunkly @ghostampire @cursedashes @yveslish

tried to tag all of my followers, or as many that it’d tag. idk, i really want this to be seen.

[bubblyernie]

Hiya! I notice you’ve played a lot of dnd rangers just like me! I wanted to ask what draws you towards the class? what do you enjoy about the class? And what do you think is the classes identity what makes a ranger ?

I’ve played swarmkeeper feywanderer horizon walker drakewarden and gloomstalker, I’m drawn towards the class in part because I’m a Ranger irl it’s my day job, but I also love the jack of all trades support vibe of the class it doesn’t excel anywhere but can help every class with a little bit of something and I view the classes identity as the professional adventurer someone who spends their life balancing the threats of the world whether that be the threats of the wild the monsters who inhabit it or the people who cross it, balancing their needs, kinda like Geralt of rivia balancing the needs of “monsters” and people, they work to make the world a safer better place picking up whatever skills and magic help them survive, I also note that every dnd class is either some form of Hunter or Tamer, the gloomstalker, horizon walker ,hunter and monster slayer, hunt the creatures of the wild, while the drakewarden, the swarmkeeper, the beast master and the fey wanderer spend their time befriending and taming the monsters of the wild. I don’t mean to answer my own question but I’m interested as someone who’s played the ranger just as much as me how your opinions may differ (I also especially love your borrower style ranger the little fellow is so cute and very well drawn)

Thanks for listening to my rambling and questions you can ignore this if it’s too much for whatever vibe you’re feeling rn have a lovely day !

hi!! Fun fact, i actually havent played any rangers 🥴 I'm the kinda dnd player who plays in like 2-3 campaigns but makes like 50 ocs. ASDFJKSDJF (I've only played a cleric and a barbarian in campaigns, but for oneshots I've tried every race) Id love to play one, but its kinda hard to do that for a oneshot since so much of the ranger class is dependent on favoured terrain/knowing your surroundings and levelling.

This is SUCH a fun ask because I LOVE the ranger class for its very niche yet versatile character archetype. I think if there's one type of word I could use to describe a ranger is a survivalist — the rangers that I do have, a handful of them are fashioned after Scouts/parkrangers (because....I was one.) or famous character types that do a lot of adventuring like cowboys, pirates, explorers etc. — if I'm being honest, ranger is the most 'adventurer' type there is!

(as a note here, i know pointy hat has mentioned a ranger's big thing was an animal companion -- i think?? IDR -- which is like a fun take. I really like his stuff, but i feel like a class shouldn't be bound to smth like a pet. any class can have pets!)

To use my own as an example, I have a bounty hunter devil cowboy (monster slayer), a princess-mononoke-ish Artemis huntress (hunter), a HouYi type ancient hero with 3-legged crows (swarmkeeper), an Indiana jones style explorerer (horizon walker) and a borrower (beast master). I really love the idea of all of them being really different but all being excellent survivalists and navigators!

Im a big fan of rangers that have fighting styles other than archery too. I think archery is awesome for the fighting style, but having duelist (like the borrower) or dueling (monster hunter) gives it an extra bit of flavour to just "class that wields a bow". it also sets them apart from a fighter bc in my head a fighter is more military while a ranger is more solitary. It establishes them as a martial class for sure, but its so versatile and has that edge that comes with dex-based instead of str-based.

I particularly like monster slayer bc to me that was very like...witcher-y. The cowboy is a monster slayer with favoured foes as humanoids bc he only tracks humanoids (bounties), which is some fun flavouring. There's a lot of customization! To clarify, there's a lot of room for flavour, but not as much choice for character builds (like, mechanically, at least compared to stuff like warlocks.)

The addition of magic also helps give it some class distinction :0

TLDR: mixes the best aspects of rogues and fighters with LOTS of room for flavour text.

[legend-the-dumb-jock]

Stereotypical: side story

The old man has just watched as his pas test creation walked of the apartment building. Ex dumb jock to the max. Dumb as a brick and as wrong as a bull. He clapped his hands together and grinned. He had plans for his final crew member at the construction site but had to find the right specimen for the job. He got in his mustang and drove off enjoying the wind in his stringy hair as he rode with the top down. He noticed he needed gas and pulled into the station. He was getting too old for this. At his age he was getting tired of these human contraptions that were just as demanding ad the people he created ! He got out of the car and made note of somebody the states he got from across the road. Being an old man man getting out of a car like this made the younger men jealous abs he just grinned showing his sharp teeth. But they couldn’t tell being so far away. He would see then soon enough when he was done with his construction workers. He pumped his gas and went into the gas station to pay. There was no one being the counter. He rang the bell several times but no one’s ever came to the counter to take his money. He could just be devilish abs drive off without paying but he wants to scope out the product that could be used if needed. Since no one was coming to the register he walked about the store. The only other person he seen was a man standing in the chip aisle with his arms crossed trying to make a decision on what he would be getting.

“My dear boy. Have you seen anyone working here ?” The old man asked catching the man off guard. Pulling his eyes from the chips he looked at the old man was shocked st first abs he seen the oldest man he’d ever seen right before. Stuttering he answered no. Then continued “ now that you mentioned it I havent seen anyone in here at all ….” The old man chuckled. And just clasped his hands together. “Well we’ll my dear boy. We have an issue then. You see I just got gas. But no way to pay. What do you do for work ?” The man was thrown off by this question. Abs was tanner if to respond when the old man just laughed and said “I know what you are ! You run this place!!” The man didn’t know what to think before he heard his stomach gurgling. “What’s….what going oooooooonnnn” he started to moan being brought to his hands and knees. His vision getting blurry as he felt a weird sensation. He felt as though he was sweeling. Everything went dark and did few moments the world didn’t exist. He felt warmer. He could smell the thick scent of cologne as if someone bathed in the stuff was near. He heard a bell chime several times and the old man was back at the counter. Hitting the bell and look right at him. “I don’t have all day. Are you gonna come up here and run this place or not!” The man didn’t know what to think as his body began to move on his own. Without him even doing anything. He lumbered to the front. Walking behind the counter in the small work space and took the man’s money. Right before the old man left he look cupped the man’s face in his hand “yes this suits you well. Now you just have to grow into you’re new role”. And as he walked out the man could feel his body changing more. He staggered to the bathroom. Feeling his body change. Hair growing in thick. And his muscles expanding. His lips puffing up and a thick beard growing across his face. A thick gut sticking out from his once thin frame as he took on all the characteristics of an Arab gas station owner. The final touches came as his skin darkened to a permanent tan. But the time his change was finished he was a walking stereotype of an Arab where he was just a slim Caucasian man moments before. And then he heard a bell ring again. And his body forced him to go take care of customers. After all, he was joe stuck running a shop. And he had a lot more growing to do to fit his new role.

November 11th, 2021 9:04pm stereotypical male transformation

[thegrimreepurr]

anyway i have a silly guy i wish to share i don't think i've talked about him much at all to anyone except for my friends but i love him and i figured i should bring him into the world because i am normal about him so. his name is basalt he's a version of murder,, and so like.

basically, in my main 'au' of sorts, murder is besties with reaper [my reaper is nicknamed thanatos so yeah :3] because after he actually managed to beat the player [the player gave up 💀💀], he was just kinda. left alone in dusttale until thanatos showed up to reap the dead of dusttale :3 now usually, normal Guys™ can't see him but sometimes, rarely, those with high LV can and murder just so happens to have very high LV so he can see thanatos he sees him just like walking around and he's kinda like 'huh. that's sus,,,' bc he killed everyone and WHY is there a dude first he just brushes it off as a hallucination because he is VERY aware that he's insane and schizophrenic but then he keeps seeing him just about everywhere so one day he decides to check it out and he goes up to thanatos and is just like 'yo. dude. who tf are you' and then thanatos is obviously surprised that he's been noticed so he's just kinda like 'oh yea so uhhh,,, im the grim reaper or something,,,' and murder's like 'wha- so like. why are u here' and thanatos is just like 'doign my job' anywya blah blah blah they talk for a while and then thanatos leaves but then he comes back occasionally and every time, murder finds him and has a conversation with them and soon enough thanatos starts coming back even after he's finished his work and he becomes besties with murder :D but also like. thanatos doesnt go back to his au anymore cuz he's been coded out of it since he's away from it so often, but thats a story for another day anyway, they soon become like therapists for each other thanatos tells murder about interwsting things that happen while on the job and also about his relationship struggles [thanatos has SO much angst and i absolutely love him for it] and murder tells thanatos about how fucked up he is also there's an alternate timeline in which murder eventually gets cursed alastor cat as a pet but that is not in this timeline [don't ask, it was a silly thought my friend and i had bc my headcanon murder had a cat named alastor {THAT WAS BEFORE I WAS EVER IN THE HH FANDOM BTW} ] and so yeah they're therapist besties but then uh. thanatos dies [i havent figured out how yet, i will eventually]

and that's when basalt exists! so basically uh. murder was just kinda handed thanatos's powers and job and thanatos TOLD him this would happen if he ever were to die, since he basically has to choose an heir to hand his power to [and he has a shit ton of kids, but all of his kids hate him so he didn't want to put that on them] which this is how basalt finds out about thanatos's death and he's just kinda shocked because how the fuck does the grim reaper die buuut he eventually uh. just accepts it and becomes rhe grim reaper he has no friends until further notice im gonna draw him but i made him in gacha [yes i am a gacha kid, cry about it] anyway

his design is under the cut

he is a skele btw i just can't make skeles in gacha also im going to change his design bc i made it too colourful [it's a habit :,)] and too complicated in a weird way that i cant draw his outfit makes like zero sense even to me

[annaizscribbling]

I WANT TO KNOW!!! ABOUT ELLIE!!! i wanna know about the pink girl!!! shes very cute and sweet (and reminds me a lot of patton kinda) and i want to know more about her.

first of all, when i think of her i kinda think of jules from euphoria, but like in her pastel stages when she wasnt fucked up (/pos). shes so bubblegum. like, hubba bubba girl, yknow?

can i learn a little about her home life? what inspired her to be the way she is? shes been very fluffy since she was a child, clearly, but why? why not be angry at the world?

also you may already have talked about this but i havent scrolled through ur entire calypsokimm tag so i dont know, how did she meet the other girls?

I love Ellie so very much and will happily talk about her <3 fair warning I don't have quite as much backstory laid out for her like I do for Calypso (Cal has the most complex story by far, for obvious reasons, but the other's all have stories, most are just not as detailed/still in development) but there is still going to be so much.

I haven't watched euphoria do idk Jules outside of like, pretty pictures, but I can confirm that Ellie is very hubba bubba bubblegum girl

As I've mentioned in passing, my OCs were originally going to my own sides, but I very quickly decided I could do more with them as their own people. Ellie was set to be the bulk of my emotions, my vulnerability, and my more childish tendencies. I did not want one side to be morality, because I would have given that job to Logic/Athena, which probably tells you something about me as a person lol.

But she would have taken on Patton's character type, as bubbly, oblivious, honest, childish, and angelic in terms of virtue.

Most of the girls have names that fit them perfectly because of like origins and meanings and even what countries they came from, but not Ellie. I looked it up just now, and it means 'light' which is surprisingly fitting for her.

The reason I named her Ellie was simply after my childhood dog. She (the dog) is very old now, but still with us and deeply loved. We first got her when I was around seven or so, and at the time, I adored the name, and always loved to play pretend using it as my character. When we got the dog, my brother suggested it and here we are 11 years later.

All of my girls embody different parts of me, quite literally, because that was the original plan. Ellie literally has the name I used to play pretend with as a kid, and is the name of my oldest pet.

She's unique in that way, as well as her color scheme even. She's color coded with light blue (nod to pat) and pink. Her hair is dyed blue save the ends, which are still her natural brown for some reason.

As for her personality, Ellie is incredibly sunny. She lights up the room as soon as she walks in, she's so good at charming people with earnest conversation and an easy going excitable nature that draws people in. She's lighthearted, funny, giggly, and has a special knack for understanding people. She can be impulsive, wild, and high energy at all times. Sometimes she's reckless, filled with a deep wonder and adoration for the world around her and the things within it. She feels like she's bubbling over with a profound joy for everything around her.

The world is beautiful, to Ellie. It's gorgeous and overwhelming, but so so worth it.

She can be observant, but only when it comes to a person's character, how they work, what they like, and the things that make them special. She won't notice the new curtains or remember what she had breakfast or lots of other basic things that drive Athena to the brink of insanity, but she knows Athena's tells for when she's especially upset, or the sweater she wears when she's thinking about her boyfriend, or even the food she makes when she didn't sleep well the night before. Ellie is good at people, she understands them on a deep and empathic level, she just doesn't notice that she ran another red light by mistake.

Her emotional intelligence comes across as older than she is. In her late twenties, she manages to carry both her almost innocent giddy personality and her very calm, mature, almost ancient understanding of anyone she comes across. She cares, in an honest and loving way that's so genuine it's nearly startling. She almost effortlessly knows how to comfort people, whatever your love language is when you need it, or even what type of person you need. She can be tender and motherly, she can be playful like a sibling, supportive like a friend, or just a loving figure who'll listen to you when you have nobody else.

She's the closest with Bree, but Ellie is good friends with all of her roommates. She makes a point of coaxing Athena and Luna especially into being more open, and she's managed to get them to open up more, so they're able to have friendships where they can all be vulnerable, even where they hate it.

Ellie really is a special person, on some level she knows it. It isn't through grand gestures or a global impact. She doesn't really care too much about leaving her mark on the world or being infamous. Ellie is just different, she understands people. She loves them. She is unique

Alright I'll give some actual background now. It'll explain some of that.

Ellie grew up pretty middle class, her parents had a rocky relationship even before she came along, but they kept their struggling relationship under wraps and just stewed. Ellie was an only child, as her parents quickly realized that having a child didn't fix anything for them, and having another would just be more difficult.

Ellie would never grow up feeling loved by her mother and father.

She was always provided basic necessities as well as entertainment, but was never close or even wanted around her parents, not unless they were in public.

Her parents weren't rich, but were well established in their social circles. They came from a very large extended family with high expectations for how well a family should get along. From neighborhoods, coworkers, friends, and family, it was important to Ellie's family that they looked like the ideal family.

From as young as six years old, Ellie knew when to smile, when it was okay to hug her parents, and when she was expected to sit in her father's lap or hide behind her mom's leg. It never felt real to her, it just felt right. Mom and Dad smiled and laughed with her in public, dad would scoop her up, bouncing her and saying something silly whenever grandma was watching them. Mom would nod when Ellie made a cute comment to Mom's friend. They never said it explicitly, Ellie just learned what was expected of her, what made Mom and Dad happy.

And Ellie really wanted them to be happy.

They fought and screamed at home. They hated eating dinner together, it always ended up so tense and snappy when they did. Ellie didn't understand the numbers and names they were talking about but they made everything scarier. She never knew when the air would break and it would become a true fight. Ellie would be tersely sent to the other room, and Ellie would sit far back on the couch with her hands in her lap, fists around her dress, and her eyes locked straight ahead. She tried desperately not to hear it, or think about it. It was too scary to listen to the yelling.

She wasn't sure if she loved how they seemed to love her when they weren't fighting, or if she just feared the anxiety that rose and bubbled in her chest when they fought.

So she learned. She learned to do good things. if she cleaned the kitchen, Daddy wasn't as annoyed when he came home. If she complimented Mom's body a whole bunch, she'd be lighter, and less likely to start snapping at Dad. She memorized all of their favorite movies and books, so she could always bring them up or play them on TV. It was a quick way to distract them after dinner, if they made it through dinner at all.

They liked when she was cute and quiet. They liked when she made simple friends and did easy activities with them. They liked when she did arts and crafts to put on the fridge. They liked when she was curious about all the right parts of their jobs. They liked when she made safe lighthearted jokes, but only when the mood was correct.

Ellie learned all of the subjects that set Dad off. Ellie learned what tones lead Mom down an angrier path. She learned when and where to interrupt before either parent upset the other.

When she was ten, her father ended up getting a hefty promotion. It changed their dynamic, for the better at first, but everything quickly came back to the stressful everyday life she was so accustomed to.

Then she met Bree, one of her new neighbors.

Ellie had always worked hard to keep herself under control. Make sure all of her qualities were kept under wraps and easy to digest. She kept her positivity dialed all the way up, kept herself as quiet as possible, and never pursued anything impulsive, loud, adventurous, or unpredictable. There was a deep longing inside of her, that wanted nothing more than to throw on her favorite neon blue cardigan and run barefoot through the park, play with other kids, die laughing at a schoolmate, get messy in the mud on a rainy day, finally listen to loud music and scream it without caring who hears, and do things at the drop of a hat.

As desperately as she wanted it, none of that was an option, not in her family. She wasn't sure if she was angry, even as an adult reflecting on it, she's not sure. Adult Ellie might be angry on her younger self's behalf, but little Ellie wasn't angry, just very very scared, and very sad. Her little body was nearly in tatters trying to keep so much love held back, but there was no one to receive or give her the love she craved.

So she spend her days fantasizing about the person she wished she was, but could never be.

But Bree was like that. Bree was very much like that person she wished she was.

Bree was loud. She loved attention as much as she loved giving it. She liked shiny things and singing at the top of her lungs to songs in a language Ellie doesn't know. She loves swooshy dresses and glitter, and is constantly affectionate with her family and friends. She did fun things, she climbed trees, helped her mom cook, ran down the street to meet with her friends, laughed without monitoring her volume, made messes she begrudgingly cleaned. She could be whiny or pouty, but it never stuck and she was always ready to pull herself up. She was feisty maybe petty, and fun. Bree was so fun and Bree's parents didn't dislike the way she had fun. They reigned her in if she got too wild, but they loved her, even when she was difficult or loud.

It shocked Ellie.

Because it was everything Ellie had every dreamed of, living just three doors down.

Somehow they became friends after meeting a few times at block parties and the local pool, and Ellie was introduced to a brand new world. It was like the planet turned upside down. For the first time in her life, Ellie could be herself.

They could be loud, spontaneous, wild, silly, childish, messy, and everything else a 10 year old child was supposed to be. Bree's house was a safe place, with a family who was charmed by her gentle soul and sweet friendship with their youngest daughter. It was a friendship that saved Ellie from the brink of giving up, even as young as she was.

And life went on.

Ellie had neither the desire or the ability to articulate what her homelife was like, so her friendship with Bree was a simply a solace from it all, and the two grew and remained almost impossibly close. The two even ended up at the same school after the next summer, and their days were filled with each other. Endless memories and shrieks of laughter filling their days.

It was the happiest few years of her entire life thus far.

Then her parents took her out of that school to switch her to another. She silently lamented the loss of seeing Bree daily, but still spent copious amounts of time with her outside of school. Things were still okay, things were still happy. She was okay. Everything was okay. Her parents were difficult, but there was peace, life was worth it, and her love for the world had a place to go. She just had to smile

Then Calypso happened.

Ellie loved Cal. She was accepting another person into her life, almost to the same extent that she trusted Bree. Cal was soft and kind, good and pure and gentle. Calypso was not, and the pain of that betrayal nearly broke her.

She spiraled for weeks, barely sleeping, eating, or even getting out of bed for anything but school. Her parents paid little attention, but Bree's family did express some concern that Ellie's own parents pretended to care about. The fighting had been infinitely worse lately, with nonstop screaming, breaking things, kicking each other out of the house. She wasn't sure if it ever got physical, and she was terrified of finding out. Ellie barely saw them, but when she did, she'd just smile. She was so good at smiling. Smile. Smile. Just smile.

She hated Calypso, missed her, loved her, grieved her, despised her.

But Calypso revealed the truth to her, in a terrible, cruel way that ached just to think about.

Ellie lied in order to survive, and it hurt.

It was that simple.

Good thing Ellie liked a challenge

[dustvoid]

05.07.24

thought I would not write in journal for a change. feeling so flat and defeated at the moment. so lost and frustrated and overwhelmed. underestimated how hard it would be here. still can't find a job and think I just chose a bad time with the election and it being summer and the market is slow. I just don't want to waste anymore time any money being here without a job but I don't want to go home and have it all be for nothing. I don't want to have come here for nothing. I'm really making a dent in my savings and it's starting to stress me out. I hate worrying about money but ive only been here 6 weeks and ive spent so much already. I know majority has been on rent which is astronomically expensive, but I had hope id maybe have some money coming in by now. I know I can't call it yet, but if I don't have a job by the time this sublease ends I will have to. I can't just spend all of my savings living here but sitting around and doing nothing. waiting. I hope it doesn't come to that because at this point id probably do anything. funny how a few weeks ago I was the opposite. but desperate times. its rainy and gloomy. a rainy summer. which I think is not really helping my mood, but at least I don't have to feel bad about staying in.

I thought that back home a lot of the gay community held themselves to high standards but over here it is something else. back home you can have an average to fit body but here I feel like you can't be gay if you aren't fit. I havent felt this low about myself in a long time. you never really notice it until you start looking back and reflecting. I know that bodies change and that's inevitable and the pandemic didn't help either. before it all happened I was stick. I was probably too skinny. a couple years in I was still quite slim, and then the last few years my body has changed a lot. I'm glad in some part because I do want to be stronger, and I have filled out a bit, but I only really noticed how bad body dysmorphia can be. I know I'm not big or overweight but I have too much body fat for my bmi. I know it probably happened in the pandemic because naturally we werent moving as much and lots of people were in the same boat. but I think my metabolism is shot. my diet has not helped either. I am a bored eater. I love to snack when I'm bored and it's a terrible habit. I don't really eat when I'm sad or for comfort, but I will eat anytime when I need something to do. and now I just feel like I'm paying for it and I feel even less comfortable in my skin. I have never been that confident but now it feels worse. I am trying to change it. I have signed up for personal training and I just had my first week but I have no idea how im going to afford it, especially if I don't get a job soon. realistically I shouldn't have done it because of my financial situation, but when I saw I was at risk because of my body fat I felt like it needed to be done. I want to look good and I'll admit that openly. I do want to feel good as well. I'm trying to change my diet and snack less. I think I have been walking at least 10k steps a day so it's a bit disappointing that I dont feel or look any different. which could be from my diet before I changed it. diet is so important and I wish I could have just changed that earlier. but I am starting now. its sad but I feel like ill have more of a chance meeting someone in better shape. its just how the world works. its not like I can't meet guys now, but you are treated better when you are fit and you attract more guys, its how it is. at the moment I feel like the guys that like me I'm not interested in and the guys I like are not interested in me. but who knows why really. its just that pretty much every gay guy here has a decently fit body and I feel like I need to change to at least have some chance. ive always wanted to improve my fitness anyway. if I can improve my diet and follow the training then I should be on track to lose a good percentage of body fat in 4-5 months. which at this rate is not long at all. time is moving so fast, soon it will be my birthday and June will be over. I will probably spend my birthday alone but it's only my 28th birthday. maybe I can take myself out to somewhere nice. if it was on the same day as my netball game I could've at least asked some of them out for a drink after, but sadly its the next night and I don't know if I will feel close enough to any of them by then to ask. I was hoping id at least have someone by now, a flatmate or friend to hang out with. it's just another day, kind of how ive always felt about them anyway. I think my plan is to return home before my and all my friends 30th birthdays in 2 years. which is wild to think about. of course this could change and I have no idea what will happen until then, but I think 2 years is a reasonable amount of time. a lot can happen in 2 years.

-H.

[deepfriedseagullfeet]

I need a side job for an online shop but I can't afford a printer to make stickers or art posters what are your suggestions of other craft things I could learn?

I thought about pins but I'm not sure how they're made.

this ask actually came at a funny time cause i am closing my etsy shop until further notice cause im not really interested in selling rn haha, but!!! i do have some ideas for you!!

clay pins! these can be really fun to make and i think theyre still popular! theres a lot of tutorials on youtube on how to make them, but youre gonna need white clay and paint (or colored polymer clay if you dont want to paint them), pin backings (you can get these at any craft store) and something to seal them (you can use mod podge or polymer clay glaze for this!) theres a lot of fun designs you can make for these and theyre cheaper than making enamel pins

painted wood things! if you are artistic and can paint stuff, get some mini wood circles/hearts and paint a design, then superglue on a pin backing, then boom its a pin! this is an alternative to clay pins if you dont want to deal with clay haha. i can find small wood pieces at any craft store for cheap and i have too many of them lying around lol

go to any store that does printing and print stuff if you dont have a printer! for awhile before i got my printer i would order printed stuff from staples for cheap. id look into this if you have a lot of ideas for art prints or zines, theres a lot of options!!

if you have some cash to spare, look into stickerapp!! they print die-cut stickers and sticker sheets, and they havent failed me yet, all their stuff turns out good and they have options for different quantities of stickers.

you may want to look into digital products if youre tech savvy! on etsy you can make good passive income from digital items like downloadable prints, digital stickers, desktop icons, templates, etc. this is kinda a hard market to get into cause theres a lot of competition, but theres a lot of different things you can do with digital products.

going back to clay cause its the most affordable thing i feel, you can make trinket dishes, charms for jewelry, keychains, figurines, etc. people always seem to be interested in little things like that, and i feel like clay, especially polymer clay can be a fun rabbit hole to dive down with all the different tutorials and things you can do with it out there :) air dry clay stuff is great too!

resin can be touchy for some people cause it can be messy and toxic if you dont have good ventilation, but i used to make shaker charms with molds i got for like 2 bucks off etsy as well as jewelry! check out some tutorials for this one if you'd like to get into this world, it can be fun!

if you want to get into button pin making, id check out badge-a-minit! they were my first intro to pin making, and you can get a starter kit for like $30 i think?? the price may have changed but thats what i paid for like 3 years ago lol

do you know how to crochet?? crochet plushies and even digital patterns are still super popular!! its fun and relaxing too if you want to get into it

overall these are the first things that popped into my head when it comes to crafty things to sell, i hope it was somewhat helpful ;_; if you'd like to really dive into the world of products and marketing for artists, i highly recommend checking out kelsey rodriguez on youtube!! she has lots of good advice for artists and just recently came out with a video specifically for products that artists can sell!

[heresathreebee]

The One Where She Got A Dog

Yelena Belova X Reader

Summary: how Yelena became a dog mom Masterlist Part 2

Tags: E | 1.8k words | scary movie, winter, secret pasts, sapphic

AN: Black Widow movie really got me in my feelings about those characters, Yelena in particular. I havent watched The Thing in almost a year please look the other way if movie events are out of order.

Pretty Russian girls are not usually your type, but fuck if you weren't absolutely obsessed with this one. You laughed when she told you she was from Ohio.  She laughed when you said you were too. 

Aquavit and your grandma's biscuit recipe brought her into your cabin on the edge of the world where she admitted to you she had never seen John Carpenter's The Thing before. You turned it on just as the snow storm set in and wrapped up in your thickest blankets with her. You're trying not to get your hopes too high but she's not shy about asking you to scoot closer. 

"Skäl," you cheer just as the ominous opening credits end and they find the mysterious ship in the frozen wasteland of antarctica. 

"Have you ever been?," Yelena asked. 

You grimace at the strong taste of aquavit. It's like vodka but with caraway for 'flavor'. You look at her from the side and poor yourself a second shot. "Been…?" 

"There." She points at the screen. 

"I have actually," you admit in a way you hope is flat and uninteresting, "have you?" 

Yelena shook her head. It's possible she might think you're being sarcastic (you cross your fingers under the blanket and hope she does). She's smiling at you, thinking something (but still watching the screen with interest). 

She drops the subject until you have to pause the movie to pee. You unwrap yourself from the cocoon of blankets and as you stand she asks you another question. 

"What were you doing there? in Antarctica, I mean." 

You sigh and pretend to brush something off of your pants. "Science trip with my parents. Shitty vacation for me I'd rather be in the Bahamas." 

You resist the urge to look at her. After taking care of business, you come back just in time to put the biscuits in the oven. You hear Yelena lean into the kitchen archway as the floors creak immensely here. 

"No timer?," she asked. 

"No timer," you confirm. "I use the timer of my heart." 

Yelena scoffs. "Please don't burn them, I'm curious about these… what are they– pastries?" 

"Something like that." 

The two of you went back to the movie just as the gang on screen is trying to decipher who is human and who is not. You feel like something between you has changed and sadly not for the better. 

But she can't know. 

"I hate this part," you say, making absolutely no move to avert your gaze. 

Yelena is startled when the doctor's arms become trapped in the bear trap belly mouth of the "man" on the table. She quickly covers her eyes and giggles manically, slapping your chest for the vague and unhelpful warning. You realize she's not as close to you as before…

There's 20 minutes left of this movie and you haven't seen a single thing on screen. Yelena stopped asking you questions when you stopped being coherent with your answers. All you can think about is telling her. 

But you can't tell her. She would never understand. You barely understand and it's about you. 

"I lied." Your heart beats in your throat as you see her face you but you can't look at her directly for fear of losing your nerve. "About the science expedition? That's not why I was in Antarctica…" 

Yelena seems to wait for you to continue but… 

"Eh, no offense but, " you gesture with your hand, "I don't really know you like that." 

Yelena gave your reply a single nod. "I suppose that's fair." 

You can't help but fidget in your seat. "Idliketo" 

"What was that?" 

You cleared your throat. "I said… I said I'd like to. Know you like that, I mean…" 

Yelena gives you a smile. "I would like to know you like that, too." 

The movie ends, the biscuits are not burnt but buttery soft and golden brown, and the blizzard outside has subsided some. It's still going but at least it's not buffering the doors and windows like before. 

"How can you watch that film in a place like this?" Yelena cannot get enough of those biscuits, stuffing them in her mouth 2 at a time. "Does it make you paranoid?" 

"Yes it does," you say, putting your coat on, "I think that's what makes it so much scarier–  looking outside and being scared every person you come across ain't who they say they are. Sometimes its not a bad thing though... I think it is rather… poetic, too." 

Yelena's eyebrows furrow. "Where are you going?" 

You put on your boots and hope the duct tape stays on the hole you covered earlier. "Dogs are out in the shed. It's heated and they have food, but not for days and I'd rather have 'em in the house where I can take care of them." 

As you finished your sentence you reached for the door,  but stopped when you noticed Yelena getting dressed too. She gives you a nod as soon as her hood comes up, and you give this brave thing an appreciative once over. 

The snow that nearly all melted before is up to your knees now. Fresh, white, and fluffy. It muffles sound like the world's sidelong turning. The odd snowflake wafts lazily from the sky, but for the most part it's died down. You teach back and take Yelena's gloved hand to keep from staying too far apart. 

"You know I always wanted a dog," she said. She could have said it in a whisper from 100 yards away and you still would have heard her–  that is how eerily quiet it is. 

Yelena squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. She's probably remembering the movie. You try to distract her by saying, "Oh yeah? You can have one of mine then." 

Yelena laughs, then stops. "You serious?" 

"As a heart attack." You finally reach the door to the shed and unlatch the door. A chorus of barks begin and you charge forward to nudge them back to give Yelena space to come in as well. "I do some breeding up here–  just a side job. They're usually working dogs but they can be pets too." 

Buck licks your face from chin to forehead and you push him back. "Down, boy! Show some respect!" 

Yelena has two of the mongrels circling her, sniffing all her clothes and demanding to be pet. "That's Burt, Barney, and Bella. Buck's my stud, but these heathens are going to a farm. They've got sheep to watch." 

Yelena chuckles as her hands get covered in slobber. "I love them." 

They're almost grown, three quarters the height of their father. Buck didn't even look in Yelena's direction because he knows you give him treats. You take your scarf off as the heat of the shed threatens to smother you and search your pockets for jerky.  

"She's in there with the new puppies." You point to a darkened closet. "Don't get too close now, she's still a little protective." 

Yelena creeps closer. You see her look at you from the corner of her eye. Probably terrified by the morphing dog scene from the movie. You give her an encouraging smile and tell her where to find the light. It's a pull cord and it bathes the room in a warm golden yellow light. 

Yelena's heavy, controlled breathing turns into a coo. Mama dog is laying on her side watching the newcomer closely. There's a pup asleep in the nest of her legs, another chewing on the hay that litters the ground, and the last one is biting their mother's ear. Yelena looks back at you with an adorable pout on her lip. 

"So cute…" 

You chuckle and put your arm around her. Buck knows to steer clear of mama dog and slinks off. You make your guest walk closer with you to show mama she's got your confidence. 

"Yelena, this is Beyonce." Mama dog's ears perk at the sound of her name. "Beyonce, this is Yelena. Be nice." 

You reach down and scoop up the hay eating puppy at your feet. "This one's always hungry." 

You put the pup in her arms and scoop up the biter. "This one likes to play. All the time. Got more energy than the blue Energizer bunny actually." 

The pup in question is literally trying to wriggle out of your hands in its eagerness to climb you and eat your hair. 

"And that one sleeps a lot?" Yelena nodded her head at the last pup. 

"Pretty much." You put the writhing excited puppy down before it hurts itself and look up into the rafters. "And then there's the climber…" 

You both turn your heads when you hear a tiny bark. A cute little face stares down at you from the rafters and there's a feather stuck to its nose. You shake your head knowing this pup got it from ripping up pillows in another part of the dog house. 

"Better go get her," you said, not moving an inch to do so.  

Yelena sees your challenge and rises to it. As if trained to do exactly so, she assesses the wooden interior for foot and hand holds. You can see the wheels turning in her head as she calculates what will and won't support her weight. In the sweep of a single moment, she rises from the door and swings herself into the rafters using a build up a momentum to propel her fast in an upperward direction. She completes the climb and balances with ease, reaching out to collect the happy wagging miscreant from her mountain top, tucks her in her jacket and climbs a different way down. 

You stare at her. "Were you raised by trapeze artists?" 

Yelena laughs. "I thought everybody was." 

The pup is safe and happy and eager to explore its new friend. Yelena lets her lick, sniff, and scratch at her skin, her clothes, her hair. The pup catches Yelena with a tiny lick right on the tip of her nose and Yelena looks back at you with adoring eyes. 

You smile. "Got a name for her already don't you?" 

"Yes," Yelena whines, "no, are you sure about this? I should probably tell you I've never had a dog before…" 

"I can tell your good people," you reply. "And smart as a whip. You'll adapt, just call me if you ever need anything." 

~

Three weeks later you get a phone call from an unknown number. It's Yelena giving you an address and making you swear never to tell anybody about it. You don't have any friends so it's an easy secret to keep. 

You drive a few miles south and stumble upon a stationary trailer in the middle of nowhere, nothing but clearings and trees and sky. Actually very similar to your own home. 

The door opens and Yelena greets you with a beer and the pup under her arm, already almost a foot bigger than she was before. 

"Her name is Fanny." You both laugh yourselves hoarse and pile into the trailer to puppy proof the place. 

[boldlyvoid]

CONGRATS ON 800, LOVE! IM SO SORRY I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SUBMIT SOMETHING EARLIER (this is shemarmooresfedora but from another acct because mine has been shadowbanned for some reason)

i’ll do ❤️🤡💄🛏 please and thank you

maybe like spencer invites you to something as his date and you’re both crushing on each other but it’s not official until the reservation only booked one room

I LOVE YOU DORY!!! i am so sorry you're shadowbanned that is so weird? i hope this cheers you up a little! thank you for all the love and support, and for helping me create little Jo in Amoreena <3

cw: flirting, fake married, mutual pining, high school reunions, assault, love confessions, one bed, implied sex, kissing,

1.4K

When he got the invitation in the mail, he thought nothing of it. He left it in the pile on his counter and went off to work the way he always would. He hasn’t been back to his old high school since he was 13, the 15 year reunion was coming up and he was invited.

He wasn’t going to go. He never went to any event unless it was a CalTech alumni event. Because there he was respected, there he was Doctor Spencer Reid, the FBI’s asset and excellent graduate. He was a nobody, a kid and a loser in high school.

“You okay?” Y/N notices he’s quieter than normal, he’s staring off past his desk and she’s worried for him.

“Huh?” He turns to her, “I’m fine.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” she whispers, “come get a coffee with me down at the kart?”

He nods and stands silently, following her out of the room and away from all their friends, in the elevator she knows he’s more comfortable.

“What’s going on, Spence?”

“My high school reunion is coming up, and I really want to go and prove to them that I’m not a dork anymore…” his voice is low and his eyes are fixated on the floor.

Her face drops, she pulls the emergency button and wraps herself around him. “You have never been a dork, Spencer. You have always been magnificent and they’re too dumb to see that.”

He holds her in return, settling as he rests his chin on her shoulder. She feels nice and warm, her hair smells like apples and her laundry detergent is all over her shirt.

“Would you come back to Vegas with me and pretend to be my girlfriend? Say things like that and make them think I’ve got it all?”

He cant see how much she smiles while they hug, “yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend for the day.”

—

She buys the nicest dress imaginable, they fly out to Vegas together and she’s so excited she forgot to ask for her own room. Or at least that’s what she tells him because she really wanted a chance to sleep with him, in more ways than one.

Even to just cuddle with Spencer Reid would be a gift, so she goes all out to seduce him. She looked impeccable, He was thinking it was her way of helping him show off… he was so clueless she was going to have to be the smart one when it came to getting him to see her as more than a friend. She wanted him, she was going to show him just how good she would be to him if she was his.

Her dress hugs her in all the right places, she wraps an arm around Spencer’s middle and holds him close. They walk in like they own the place, everyone is taking turns looking at them as they walk to the name tag table.

“Hi, Spener Reid,” he smiles, “and my plus one.”

“Hi,” Y/N waved at the woman behind the desk.

“Hello,” she smiles, “here are your name tags, Mr. and Mrs. Reid.”

“Oh we’re—“

“Thank you,” Y/N smiles, she takes the name tags from the woman. “Newlyweds, my rings getting resized, he’s still adjusting to the title.”

“Ah, my husband was the same, called it wedding bell shock,” she smiled, old enough to have a husband with shell-shock as well.

“Can I have a pen?” Y/N asks, “or a marker?”

“Here,” she hands her a sharpie.

Y/N leans onto the table to scratch out the Mr. and replace it with Dr. “He has 3 Ph.D.’s you know? My husband is the smartest man in the FBI.”

“Oh,” she looks shocked, “thank you for your service sir.”

He blushes and nods, “thank you.”

Y/N peels the sticker off and sticks it to Spencer's chest before leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of his nose, she gets lipstick on him. She smiles and wipes it off, “there, still cute.”

The rest of the night is much of the same; she hangs off him, telling all the people who used to bully him that she was so madly in love with him, he was super smart and he was so strong and sexy on the job.

She slips away from him to get a drink while he explains how profiling works to his crowd of new fans. She’s filling her cup with punch when a weird, balding man slides up beside her, his hand touching her waist. She looks at him quickly, recognizing his name from the worst childhood story Spencer ever shared with her.

“Hey there, hot stuff,” he tried to hit on her.

She puts her cup down calmly and takes his hand off her, bending his arm behind his back and slamming him face-first into the punch bowl. She pulls his face back up by his hair, “that was for touching me.”

Then she slams him onto the floor where he coughs out punch from his lungs. “And that was for what you did to my husband as a kid, he was a Kid! You may have peaked in high school, but at least Doctor Reid doesn’t have a widow's peak, like yours. He is the smartest, sexiest, and most wonderful man in the world and you're nothing but a loser.”

Spencer turns around at the sound of her voice, “oooo” echos around the gym as everyone looks at the scene unfolding. Patrick, the asshole quarterback that traumatized him as a child, was on the ground covered in red juice as he complained about a sore arm.

Y/N smiles at him and waves before rejoining Spencer, “he doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself.”

“Let’s get out of here,” Spencer suggests and she is all too eager to skip out of the room with him, right past Patrick.

—

She slams him against the wall as soon as they’re inside the hotel room again, kissing him with more desperation than she’s ever felt in her life. She needed him, he was her last piece and then she’d be complete.

She breaks the kiss to move down his neck as she loosens his tie and unbuttons his shirt. “Are you sure we can be friends after this?”

“I’d hope my husband was my best friend,” she whispers against his skin.

He pulls her away from his neck, hands on her cheeks so he can look at her and read her expressions as best as possible, “I’m serious, I don’t want to do this if it’s going to make working together hard.”

“You’re an idiot,” she smiles, “I have been in love with you for months Spencer. I want this, I have wanted you for so long…”

His breathing changes as she explains her feelings, leaning in to kiss his neck again and make her way down his chest. “I’ve thought about this for so long Spencer, you have no idea how many dirty thoughts I have about doing things like this with you.”

“I got 1 bed on purpose,” he gasps out, “I wanted to sleep beside you… I hoped—

She smiles against him, “I know. That’s why I didn’t tell you to get 2…”

“You’re really not kidding?” He sounds so desperate it’s almost sad.

She stops her kissing and looks at him again, “why is it so hard for you to believe all the things I’ve said about you tonight? I’m not just trying to impress them, I’m telling the whole fucking world that the person I am in love with is the smartest man they will ever meet. People should bow at your feet, Spencer, let me appreciate you for how incredibly wonderful you are and stop doubting my feelings.”

“You love me?” Tears well in his eyes and he feels like a complete idiot, “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I wanted you to admit it first,” she whispers, equally as embarrassed. “I have a huge crush on you Spence, it’s not just that I love you, I never want to stop. You’re so nice and kind and funny? And you make me smile every day and I laugh even on the worst days ever because you’re there, and when I think about the future and reunions and events like this that I have to go to one day, and all I want is to bring you along and show everyone that you’re mine.”

She rambled more than he did, “so please, will you unzip my dress and join me in our one bed, husband?”

“Absolutely, my beautiful wife,” he turns her around, moving her hair off her back, he kisses her shoulder softly.

He moves the zip down as slow as possible, kissing every inch of newly exposed skin as he did so. When he reached the end, she pushed the straps off her arms and let the dress fall to the floor.

Mission accomplished.

[creweemmaeec11]

My favourite prompts:

A list of my favourite prompts that I’ve posted in the past, all curated into a huge list just for you guys!

1

Finally, the day has come. The villain is thought to be dead. The hero has won.

Until suddenly the hero learns the villain left them EVERYTHING in their will. Made them the owner and operator of all their illegal business.

Obviously, the hero plans to shut everything down immediately. But they quickly realize just how many people the villain employed… how many family’s they fed…

2

“You kissed me,”

“I did… and?”

“What-!? What do you mean and!?,”

“What more do you want?”

“An explanation would be a good start!”

“…or I could just do it again…”

*other person turns bright red,*

“Or… or that, I suppose,”

3

“What the hell are you doing here!?”

“I think the better question would be what in the hell are you wearing,” the villain replied, amusement clear on their face, like they were struggling to keep from laughing.

“What- it’s-” the hero blushed, remembering what they were wearing, “their pajamas! What are you-!”

“Oh my god…” the villain replied, like they were struggling to come to terms with what they were seeing, “the hero of the city not only own, but wears a onesie,”

“Excuse me!” The hero snapped in defence, “They’re comfortable!”

“They? You have more??”

4

“I gotta say hero,” The villain mused as they casually moved toward the cell bars, “I’ve been called many things in my life: monster, villain, outcast, loser, scoundrel,” they tilted their head, examining the hero before them, “but ‘our last hope?’” *clicks tongue* “that’s a first,”

5

You live in a world where anyone born with superpowers must become a super hero. It doesn’t matter what the power is, or how small it is, it is mandatory. It was deemed that having anyone with superpowers work alongside regular people was “unsafe” and “unfair.” Every year, dozens of superhero’s with powers useless for fighting are killed. You’ve managed to make it this long with nobody finding out you have a superpower. But how much longer can you hide in plain sight?

6

The city’s villain mysteriously disappears and hasnt been seen in a week. The people are celebrating, but the hero is worried. What if the villain is planning something big? Determined to stop whatever evil plan is brewing, the hero tracks the villain down, but they dont find what they expected. Instead of evil plotting, the villain:

-Has been taking care of a sick pet -Come down with the flu -Been helping arrange a friends wedding -Found out they were pregnant -Is getting married themselves -Mourning the death of a loved one -Has adopted a young pet and been occupied taking care of them -Has been helping one of their lackeys who’s in a desperate situation -Has been feeding the homeless and offering blankets

7

You’re the most wanted villain by all highest ranking authorities, but all the heros “just can’t seem to catch you” (they always let you get away) because all your crimes are things like stealing expensive medication and then donating it to hospitals, robbing toy stores and donating to orphanages, robbing banks and giving to charity, robbing grocery stores and feeding the homeless, ect

8

A hero/villain with the power to materialize their own tattoos. Got a wrench tattoo? Now you’ve got a wrench. Got a tattoo of wings? A bomb? A get away car? Well…

Dragon tattoos have always been popular, havent they?

9

Write about a genius inventor villain who, while watching the news, learns about a sick child in hospital doctors arnt sure they can cure. The villain realizes something theyve invented could cure the child. Now the hard part is convincing them to let the villain help.

10

The villain starts to notice the hero is feeling more down the usual, so they start leaving the hero little notes to cheer them up. All is going well until the hero figures out who is sending them.

11

In a world of magic users where everyone is divided into the 6 eye colours, and the colour of your eyes represents what your powers are. Each colour has an elemental power, can talk to a certain type of creature(Invertebrates, fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds, mammals), and has 3 other powers. For example, blue eyes control water, can commune with fish, etc. Everyone in the world has either red, orange, yellow, green, blue or purple eyes. Except for you, you were born with black eyes. Everyone is afraid of what your powers will be, but they should be more worried about the kind of creatures you can talk to…

12

A hero and a villain (and maybe their sidekicks, up to you) trapped in a haunted house or haunted location.  

-One is scared so the other comforts them. They are both scared but trying to act like they aren’t. -One doesn’t believe in ghosts, and the other has the power to communicate with them or see them. -Ghosts aren’t real, but one continues to try and freak the other out, who claims they aren’t scared. -Ghost wingman. I need’ d say no more -One gets possessed, so the other has to do the whole ‘kiss to break a curse’ thing to bring them out of it. -The classic Person A thinks ghosts aren’t real so they prank Person B to scare them. Then shit gets real, but person B doesn’t believe person A, thinking its just another prank.

13

“I trusted you! You promised!”

“I kept my promise! I got you your results! Don’t question my methods from a top that high moral horse or yours, especially when the only reason you made a deal with me in the first place was because you were too much of a coward to do what needed to be done!”

14

The local wildfire has been growing out of control, forcing the city to have to evacuate. Suddenly, the villain with water powers shows up to lend a hand to fire fighters.

15

“Tell me hero,” the villain spoke, chains jangling from where they hung on the villains wrists as they walked up to the bars of the jail cell, “If you wanted to skip a press conference, could you?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re sisters getting married, but your needed for a big event at the hero academy that day. Would you be allowed to attend the wedding? What about if your brother stole a pack of gum. Could you let it slide? Not would you, but could you?”

The hero paused. Could they? They had responsibilities! They had commitments to the city, and to the serving of justice!

The villain laughed at the heros silence, “I may be in jail, but you’re more chained then I’ll ever be,”

16

“So tell me,” the villain drawled, dragging a finger across the heros skin, making them shiver, “what changed your mind?”

17

Hero discovers the villain has a day job. It isnt at all what they expected. (Day care, animal shelter, etc)

18

“What are you going to do if you beat me, and suddenly the city dosent need a hero? What are you going to do if you get hurt and can no longer fight, and the city forgets about you just like all the heros before you? Who will you be when your legacy crumbles under the weight of all those who follow? Will you take up knitting?”

The hero stared unblinking and frozen as the villain took a step forward.

“Sure, your a hero. But what are you without that?”

The villain took another step forward.

“Your nothing, heroism is all you have. That pathetic title you curl up to every night. But without it?” They looked the hero up and down, “Absolutely nothing…”

19

A villain retires from villainy and gets plastic surgery (or simply never showed their face) so they can live a normal life without being recognized. While living their new life, they bump into the hero, and the two start falling for eachother. But the villain is terrified of the hero finding out the truth

20

The hero slammed their front door as quickly as they could, eyes wide, heart pounding.

The villain. The villain was outside their door.

“Well that was rude,”

21

A hero with magic powers, in a world where magic is unheard of. They have always kept their powers a secret, fearing they would be shunned, or tested on. They never use their powers in battle.

One day, while practicing their magic alone in the woods, the villain appears out of nowhere. 

Before the hero can explain, the villain asks, “you have powers too?”

22

A hero dies. Or at least, they think they do. The next thing they know they wake up at their own funeral. And the only person there? Is the villain.

23

“The worst part, is you had the nerve to call it love”

[dancingaliensfics]

♡My Prison Pen Pal♡

Helmut Zemo x reader

Word count: 1,802

Warnings: swearing, mentions of prison and crimes and slight angst to do with his family

A/N: its finally here! I havent writen a fic in a long time so hopefully you guys like this! I tried to avoid using idioms and things like that but message me if you need anything explained or reworded as I know most people aren't native English speakers

@sorcerersofnyc

♡♡♡

His first letter came during the series finale of your favourite show. A rather inconvenient moment, you thought, so it stayed on the welcome mat until you passed through the hall on your way to bed. Picking it up, you figured you'd skim the first few lines then finish it and write a reply before work. Instead, you found yourself writing and rewriting a reply through the night. Somehow this man had managed to enthrall you with only a letter. Maybe it was the way he wrote as if he was some elegant poet whose sonnets would one day be hailed as classics. How he managed to be open and expressive, exuding a welcoming aura, and yet still seeming mysterious. Or perhaps it was simply fated by the stars that Helmut Zemo would capture your heart.

You waited anxiously for his second letter to arrive. After sending the first, you hadn't cared whether you got a response, the whole thing seemed like a bad idea to you. But your mother was insistent that you needed to meet new people and this way you wouldn't need to worry about awkward face to face conversations. Sending the first letter felt like any other chore you do in the day, done with much effort and resignment but forgotten within minutes. But the second? It felt like the most important thing you'd done in a long time. You'd even bought a first class stamp (not that it makes a difference).

You wanted to know more about this intriguing man. No, supervillain. Charged with international terrorism. Jesus christ what the fuck was wrong with you? Were you really falling in love with a supervillain after one letter? But he didn't seem evil to you. He wrote eloquently, somehow his simple and brief description of his day (he'd started reading a new psychology book, you'd have to send him some recommendations) sounded fascinating in his words.

Over time, you started to notice small things about Helmut. The way he crossed his t's, how he signed his name, but mainly that there was a romanticism to his writing. From the way he described his home, his wife, his son to his recipes for Sokovian dishes with small notes and doodles (your favourite was his shepherd's pie recipe where he helpfully noted his mother's assertion that you should always add more than you think you need). It was becoming clear to you that he wasn't the stoic and vengeful baron you expected but rather a soft, lonely and endearingly weird man who you couldn't imagine plotting to destroy the Avengers. Whilst it was his mystery that first captivated you, it was his sweet and sometimes awkward personality that convinced you to keep writing.

It took a while for Helmut to tell you about his family. You had heard on the news back when he first arrested about his motive, so you were interested to hear his perspective on his crimes. But that wasn't what you got. Instead, he told you about when he and his father used to play football when he was young and how they would play a match every time he visited, with Helmut playing against his father and son, who always wanted to play with grandfather. He told you of the songs his wife used to sing, how her voice was always loud and shaky and after years of singing somewhere over the rainbow she would still forget the lyrics and invent her own. He told you how his son was the best pianist he had ever heard. How he could play the greatest rendition of amazing grace and that he had just learnt the theme from swan lake. That he had been excited to practice it on his grandfathers grand piano the day Ultron attacked.

There was something so human about this man. His love for his family, his loss and grief, his plan to avenge his family, it was all so tragic and yet here he was sending you drawings of the flowers from his garden growing up. You wanted to hug him and yet sometimes you felt he wouldn't need it, wouldn't want it. You were wrong.

Helmut Zemo missed his family. He told you so in one of his most recent letters. He missed holding his son, brushing his wife's hair, going for long drives, waking up at 2am to comfort his son, early morning trips to the shops, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework. Everything he listed seemed so trivial, so meaningless in the grand scheme of life and yet the memories meant so much to him.

You realised then you had never pitied him before. Not that he wasn't deserving of it, just that he didn't seem to need it. But overtime you realised that what Helmut had really needed wasn't revenge or to make a world free from superhumans, it was someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Someone who would understand his pain and not judge it. Perhaps, you thought to yourself, you could be that person.

Fuck.

You couldn't think of how to cope with this. No one you knew had ever mentioned falling in love with a criminal through letters. And as hard as you tried you hadn't been able to find a single romcom with this plot line. You couldn't tell him. You imagined with his seemingly fragile state of mind receiving from basically a stranger professing their love would at best cause him to ghost you. Especially after he confided in you, shared his thoughts and memories.

So instead you continued as normal. You sent him pressed flowers and pictures of your favourite places. Eventually, he asked what looked like, and you spent an hour trying to decide whether you should send a picture of yourself or to just vaguely describe your features. After deciding to send a picture of yourself on holiday a few months before the blip, you found yourself wondering what he'd do with it. Would he throw it away as soon as he got the letter or would he keep it, tuck it away in some book to look at whilst thinking of you?

You also found yourself wondering what he looked like in the real world. You had found pictures of him online, but they didn't feel real. He was never rarely happy. The pictures pre Ultron were clearly taken by paparazzi, so you weren't surprised he rarely looked anything other than annoyed. There were a few though, ones with his wife and son, where he clearly hadn't noticed, and some from when he was much younger and seemed to enjoy the attention. Then were those taken after his arrest.

And so you continued to wonder he looked like. How he looked in the morning, with flowers in his hair or in summer with the sun lighting his face. You wondered what his hair looked like wet, if he ever scrunched his nose in disgust. You wondered what his smile was like.

Over time, you told him more about yourself. The stress of returning home after the blip to no job, no house and your friends 5 years older. Your ex was married with kids and your sister had moved abroad. It was as if you blinked and your whole life had changed. You mentioned how it was your mum who had suggested getting a pen pal, so you could talk to someone new, who was living a different life to you, although she had meant someone in a different country not jail. Since coming back you'd been isolated and stressed with starting a new job, recovering lost information and personal belongings and moving house, so you had thought it might be good to speak to someone who didn't know you, who couldn't judge you. You told Helmut how it had been good, how writing to him had helped you, how he had helped you more than he could ever know.

No, that sounded creepy. How you appreciated his letters.

Too formal. How you hadn't expected to become his friend, but you were glad to be able to say you were.

Helmut was comforting. You knew in your head that your meeting on Friday was nothing to worry about but seeing him say it felt so reassuring. Each one of his letters made you feel relaxed, feel safe. You wanted to make him feel the same. So, as a way to repay his kindness you had told him that no matter what happened, he could always trust you. And it was true. You couldn't imagine a world where you wouldn't do anything for Helmut and although you knew he would never need it, you still wanted him to know you would always care about him, even if no one else did.

Writing to him had become as easy as talking to someone you'd known all your life. You had fallen into an easy routine, you knew when to expect his letters and you knew when you'd send a reply. The routine felt so natural that you even knew what the envelope would look like, always the same off-white with a square edged flap. The address was always the same too. Except on his last letter. Which was strange.

At first, you thought Helmut had been moved to a different prison but after frantically typing the address into Google Maps you realised it was not a prison. Fuck you had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a prison. It also wasn't in Germany.

You sat still, staring at the unopened letter for a few minutes.

You looked up at the door. You thought you heard someone knock. The post had already come and you weren't expecting people. Hell, there wasn't anyone other than your parents who would visit anyway and they would have called first. Now you were sat still, staring at the front door.

"I know you're in there, the lights are on."

It was as if you were a marionette, being moved by some strange force that was slowly pulling you out of your seat and towards the door. You didn't even register that you moved until you felt the door handle on your fingertips. The cold metal caused you to stop, as if broken out of a trance. There was a sudden realisation that if you opened the door your life would never be the same. It was sickening, a mixture of dread and excitement; it reminded you of the moment before a roller coaster drops. You repeated that thought in your head. "Your life would never be the same". Your life hadn't been the same in almost a year. What would be the harm in one more big change. So you did it. You opened the door.

His smile was beautiful.