#if you actually read these I want you to know this does represent me unfortunately I bite things when mad.

[necrosanity]

I am so fucking mad fuck whoever made child proofing locks I hope you're having a horrible afterlife

[neptxn3]

Astrology Observations II

｡:ﾟ૮ ˶ˆ ﻌ ˆ˶ ა ﾟ:｡

Disclaimer, these are observations I have made through personal experience and thorough research, observations also vary depending on other natal placements involved

doesn’t resonate ≠ untrue 

♅ Virgos tend to represent the trad wife far more than people assume taurus does, and that’s because Virgos ability to uphold their life (at least on the outside) tend to attract men who want a wife that can keep them on track

Some Virgo women tend to also attract gay men unfortunately 😭, again I think Virgos just seem like the perfect trad Wife and it will attract closeted men like flies. This isn’t to say all your partners will be closeted but the ones who are overly aggressive on your role in the relationship might be.

♅ Gemini moon children develop QUICKLY. These are usually the kids who weird you out with their extensive knowledge and self awareness that seemingly comes out of nowhere. The mercury influence allows them to digest many topics which in turn has Gemini moon children mentally developing at a faster pace than their peers

I’ve also observed Gemini moons are those annoying kids in your class that are a lot smarter and a bit condescending to others intelligence, not because that’s just the way they are, but their mercurial moon needs constant stimulation, and with a combination of their rapid growth you’ll see them climbing academic ranks which in turn can make them dislike school if they are not progressing at a speed they like. 

♅ Scorpio moons have a tendency to see the worst in every situation/person which can be a nasty habit, but this isn’t out of judgment, rather they don’t like to give people the benefit of the doubt. They don’t like to be screwed over and their best bet is to think of the worst scenario possible. 

♅ Aquarius Venus who are flaky in relationships and constantly cheat will eventually have karma handed back to them, usually in the form of being in their mid 40’s still single.

Aquarius Venus flaky reputation does stem from the fact that it is a Saturn influenced placement, as well as being fixed. It’s not that they hate any type of restriction to their freedom but rather to what extent you restrict them to. They can and will jump quickly into relationships but if they see any glimpse of possessive or controlling attributes they will leave. Again because it’s fixed and Saturn influenced Aquarius Venus knows once it settles down that’s it, they’re not going anywhere, that’s why they’re so scattered to find the right person who fits their criteria. 

♅ Moon/Sun harshly aspecting Neptune is the embodiment of “I hate my Mom/Dad, but I love her/him too”. Neptune harshly aspecting these planets can cause a huge wall of misunderstanding between parent and child, but Neptune blurs the lines so deep that the individual sees them “through rose colored glasses” and if incapable of harboring hate. I would even say there could be nights where these people will look back and remember their past relationships (Neptune = Dreams)

♅ 10h placements can sometimes struggle maintaining relationships due to the very contradicting nature of the Midheaven and ascendant. Usually people will perceive them to be very different from who they actually are.

This is also why they struggle with their self esteem (the natural square to the ascendant). Sometimes they feel like they need to keep up an image to satisfy others and that isn’t someone who they truly are 🥲

In synastry this also points to partners trying to change who they are/make choices for them because they think it’s “for the best” or “what’s good for them”. 

♅ Every Virgo rising I’ve met always gives me a small lesson on why astrology isn’t real but follow up with a “but can you read my chart I want to see if it’s true 👀”. I truly believe it’s the 12h Leo which makes them secretly a little self centered (hence the interest for things like astrology to attempt and figure themselves out) but the mercurial ascendant will always make them skeptical 😭

♅ Saturn conjunct Jupiter natives is a dangerous fire sometimes. I’ve noticed if they haven’t learned to balance this aspect in their chart, the people around them can suffer their warm and cold attitude. It’s almost as if one second you could be hysterically laughing in class together, and the next second they immediately stop and ask you to be serious and finish your work. WHERE DID THE VIBE GOOO?? The key here is moderation in whichever sign/house this is in

♅ Whoever said Neptune in hard aspect to Venus needs to practice saying positive affirmations (especially to Venus related topics) to themselves in the mirror was SO correct. Neptune indeed does reflect lies to you and reaffirming yourself in the mirror breaks that spell. I don’t think I’ve felt so beautiful since I started doing this. 

[snapscube]

so i don't know if this is a post i'm gonna keep up cause, like i said, i don't really like talking candidly about aspects of my personal identity often these days, and lord knows i especially hate talking about legal identity and all the dissonance that entails. but this week was a pretty big one for me and i can't shake the desire to share my enthusiasm for even just a fleeting moment.

my name has been a sticking point in my mind for a long time. i've adopted many different ones. first, middle, last, you name it. i've been searching most of my life for a moniker that represented my true self socially, and a surname to distance myself from someone in my life who hurt me very badly and never really learned how to stop.

obviously for a long time now I've been Penny Parker to 98% of people who know me, and for the past couple that number has been bumped up to a solid 99% with a few stragglers. it's a name that is so mundane and assumed at this point that tbh I've even come to resent certain aspects of it. which to me is actually beautiful. i find that mundanity, that nuance, extremely telling of how it encapsulates my life. it's a fully three-dimensional reflection, smudges and sparkles and everything in between.

of course, i only just moved out on my own 3 years ago. and unfortunately that had to be the starting point to make this social and personal progress i've been sitting on for half a decade at least now official, tangible, legal. i've been playing a game of catch-up i didn't sign up for, but it's one that does have a silver lining in that i feel more in resonance with who i am and who i want to be than i ever did before being granted this independence.

and as of this week, i have the pleasure of entering an era of my life where the dissonance between who i am in speech and who i am in contract is nonexistent. my name is Penny Olivia Parker. i'm the same as i've always been, but getting better every day at it. soon i'll even have a license to match!

sometimes more of an Olivia Parker in brief moments nowadays tbh but i haven't worked out the details yet. nothin you need to stress over, ill take care of it. the full set is just fine and legally recognized, which is all i've wanted for as long as i can remember.

this isn't the end of my journey, both excitingly and unfortunately haha, but this is yet another huge milestone for me and in certain respects it's one of the biggest i've managed. i'm so happy to still be here. if you're reading this, thank you for being here too.

also those of you who watched my direct reactions the other day might have a little more insight as to why i was so emotional that the day after a judge signed my legal name change a new game by the Sonic Mania devs was announced called "Penny's Big Breakaway" LOL, it was a lot to handle for me but i wasn't sure how much i wanted to say just yet.

[4m1rz]

Young Luv

NMIXX Sullyoon x Male Reader

Kink: multiple creampies, class sex, mommy kink

Special thanks to @lustspren for giving me the idea for the title of the fic. Also thanks to @mode-lfy for beta-read it as well being the inspiration of the fic.

It was a normal day in PJY University. All of the students have done the middle term exam and are waiting to know how they did and what their results will be. This also includes Han Yechan, despite him being nervous about it.

Han Yechan is in the final year of university. He is well known to be the top athlete in the university as being the notorious basketball player of the university. He is always getting picked for basketball matches, whether it's against other universities or the nationals. This even happens in his final year as he is still being scouted for those matches.

However, due to him being too active with his basketball matches, his grades were always at the lowest. This causes him to always get scolded by the lecturers that teach his classes. Some lecturers even threaten him by saying that they will report it to the coach of the basketball team, hoping that he'll get dropped off from the team.

This makes him scared a bit despite the fact that he believes that the basketball coach would not be removing his name from the team. Unfortunately, no matter how he tries, he is not able to catch up with the learnings due to his hectic schedule. This does make him a bit frustrated and almost given up as he does not want to repeat his semesters.

This time however, he is confident that he will pass the exam. The reason; he had an amazing tutor that helped him to study back the subjects he's been missing for such a long time. His tutor also tries the best to make him focus on his study and gives advice.

Back to the present time, Yechan is at the entrance of his classroom. As he opens the door, he notices there are some students already in the classroom. However, there is one girl who takes all of his attention which is the class representative, Seol Yoona or mostly known as Sullyoon.

Sullyoon is the daughter of the university director, Seol Taehyun. She is always being talked about all around the university because of her beauty. However, there's also some students and lecturers in the university who talk badly about her.

The first reason is about how inappropriate she wears on the university campus. This can be seen with how short her skirt is and the unnecessary accessory all over her uniform. She is also being talked badly about because she always gets good scores in exams as if she bribes the lecturers that teach her by using his dad as a threat. Nonetheless, there is still someone that believes how she actually is.

Back to the present time, Yechan walks towards where Sullyoon is sitting and greets her. “Hey there Yoona, how are you doing today?” He says. Despite almost all of the students and lecturers calling her Sullyoon, only Yechan prefers to call her by her real name. He believes that her real name suits her and sounds prettier, which makes him constantly calling her that.

This makes her look at him with her eyes gleaming with excitement. “Hey Yechan. I'm doing just fine. Are you excited to know your result for this exam?” She chimes which makes him giggle and scratch his head awkwardly. “I sup-pose… Well then, I'm going to my seat.” He exclaims, to which she nods and lets him go to his seat.

Several minutes later, everyone else was already in the class and the lecturer, Ms Song Jimin had finally arrived. She teaches the subject a bit first before announcing that she'll be giving the results of the exam. This causes some students to be nervous yet excited at the same time.

And with that, it is time to announce the grades for every student in the class, starting from the lowest and progressively moving to the highest. After Ms Song reveals each student's result, they go to the front and take the exam paper. However, most of the students in the class feel weird as Yechan’s name hasn't been called as they know that he always has the lowest grade.

“Now, I'll announce the ones getting the highest grades for the exam. This time, there's two people in this class that achieve the highest grades...” The lecturer says and then continues. “The first person is, as always, our class representative, Sullyoon.” She says to which it is followed with an applause from everyone in the class. Then, Sullyoon goes to the front and takes her graded exam paper before Ms Song says to her, “Keep up the good work.”

“For the second person, oh wow… I didn't expect this would happen. It's Han Yechan.” She says it with a very surprised yet excited tone. This results in all of the students in the class to be shocked and engage in small chats amongst each other as this incident hasn't happened till now. Then, he shyly walks to the front and takes the exam paper.

“I didn't expect you'd ace this exam, Yechan. Did you cheat or is someone able to tutor you?” Ms. Song asks him which makes him chuckle sheepishly before answering. “Yeah, I had someone to tutor me. That someone is able to make me recap the whole subject without letting me be distracted. I really have to thank that person later.” He says.

After that, he walks back towards his seat. As he was going back to his seat, he felt someone had passed a folded paper on his used-to-be-free hand. Nonetheless, he waits until he is finally at his seat before unfolding the paper to which there's something written on it:

‘Stay with me here after class’

-SY-

After he reads the paper, he looks to the possible culprit which is Sullyoon to see that she's looking back at him. Then, she gives him a sultry wink which makes him giggle a bit. He is eager to know what she is up to later on.

About 3 hours later, at around 5 pm, the class ends; to be frank, it's the only class of the day. Everyone in the class starts to leave the classroom one by one, except for Yechan and Sullyoon. After it is confirmed that there's only the two of them in the class, Sullyoon walks towards the door before closing and locking it.

After that, she walks towards Yechan's seat before sitting on his table. However, before she sits on his table, she lifts his head before pecking his lips which makes him a bit stunned. “Congrats baby, I knew you could ace this exam.” She says.

Well, there is a secret that both of them have been keeping from anyone else in which they are secretly a couple. They have been dating in secret for about 4 months now since the day that she agrees to tutor him. The person that he has been thanking earlier is actually her.

That is also why he didn't believe any of the rumours that had been pointed towards her. Despite sometimes asking her dad to do or buy stuff for her, she is mostly independent and very hardworking. This is mostly due to her dad trains her to do things by herself and not hoping for others yet still pampering her with love and wealth. He also remembers how diligently she tutors him for the exam.

“Hehe, thanks… It is all thanks to my beautiful, sexy and diligent tutor right in front of me. I thank you so much for it, babe.” He says and gives her a wink. Somehow, she suddenly frowns after he says that. Then, she leans forward and grabs his necktie before tugging it towards her, making their face really close.

“That’s not what you should call me right now, baby. Come on, call me correctly.” She says while giving him a sultry smirk. Knowing her agenda, he playfully rolls his eyes before saying back. “Ugh, fine. Thank you so much for tutoring me, mommy.” This makes her giggle before releasing her grip on his necktie.

“That's more like it, baby. You're such a good boy.” She exclaims and returns him back with a wink. “Oh please mommy, don't act like you're the dominant one here. I still remember the way you begged me the last time I rammed your pussy.” He retorts with a playful mocking tone. This only makes her giggle even more.

“What can I say, my sweet, strong baby has an amazing dick, mmmmh…” She says and licks her lips, imagining how he always fuck her. He is only able to shake his head while looking at her expressions.

“... Anyways, since you did excel in this exam, I will tell you your gift as promised. Well, it's in front of you right now.” She chimes and gives yet another wink. “So… you're my gift huh? Hehe, I guess you finally want to fulfill your fantasy of getting fucked in the classroom, mommy. About time we make these soundproof walls for good use.” He retorts and smirks at her.

Apparently, the whole university building had soundproofing walls installed about a year ago, thanks to Sullyoon asking her dad for it. She says that she wants it to make her even more focused in class but deep down, she really wants to have sex at school which is on her bucket list.

“Mommy has been planning for this since forever…” She says. Then, she suddenly lifts her skirt a bit, showing her laced purple panties that already had some wet spots on her crotch region. “... besides, don't you want to help mommy fulfill her bucket list of getting fucked in school?” She continues before biting her lips seductively.

This causes his dick to start getting hard underneath his pants, creating a bulge. She smirks even more, seeing how her actions make him hard already.

“Alright, fine mommy. I'm also getting impatient with all of your teasing. Let's start now.” He says which makes her feel giddy. “Now that's a good boy. However, mommy has set up some rules. Mommy only letting you to fuck my pussy for up to 3 rounds. Also, you must cum with mommy for each round, understand?” She orders to which he nods to it.

After that, she gets down from the table and starts pulling down her skirt and panties at the same time. This also indicates him to pull down his pants and boxers, revealing his already hard dick. Upon seeing his hard dick, she smirks more before getting onto his lap, sitting right on top of his dick. Then, she starts to grind on it which makes both of them moan.

“Mmmh, mommy… I thought you wanted to do this quickly.” He whines which makes her giggle. “Be patient, baby. Mommy wants to… mmmmh… make your dick wet enough first.” After a while, as she confirms that his dick is wet enough, she lifts herself a bit. Then, she holds his dick, aiming with her pussy before plunging down, making both of them moan even more.

“Oh god, your pussy still feels so tight, mommy… Even af-ter what we did two days ago, mmmmh.” Yechan chimes. As Sullyoon keeps on riding his dick, both of them start to unbutton each of their shirts before removing it, leaving him fully naked while her with only a matching laced purple bra which he then unclasps and removes it from her.

After removing her bra, he immediately attacks her tits with licks, sucks and bites which makes her squirm more. “Mmmmh, that's it baby. Make mommy’s tits feel good, oh gosh!!” Her response makes him do it more to her a lot more erratically.

About 15 minutes later, both of them feel each other about to have their own releases with his dick pulsating and her pussy throbbing. “Go on t-then, baby. Cum with mommy. Mommy needs to be filled right now, mmmmh…” Sullyoon groans, which leads to them to cum at once and also indicates the first creampie for her.

Five minutes worth of pantings later, she gets up from his lap and their mixed cums start to get out from her pussy. “Oops, it starts leaking. I guess you have to fill mommy with your cum again, baby.” She says to him with a smirk on her face. This makes him scoff before getting up and carrying her towards the lecturer table.

As he put her on the table, she instantly spreads her leg, insisting him to fuck her in that instance. However, instead of inserting his dick back into her pussy, he inserts two fingers inside her and starts fingering. This makes her shocked which leads to her whining madly.

“Nnngh, come on baby. Fuck mommy’s pussy again, I need it!!!” This makes him chuckle and pulls his fingers before pushing his dick back into her pussy. “Y-Yes, baby. Fuck this needy mommy of yours, nice and hard, mmmh.” She squeals loudly, feeling the pleasure from getting her pussy filled with his dick.

As he thrusts his dick back inside her pussy and starts fucking her again, he wants to ask the one question he had since before they did this. “So mommy, that purple lingerie… mmmmh… seems new. When exactly did you buy- oh god- those? How exactly have you been…. mmmmh… planning this?” His question makes her chuckle with moans in between.

“Oh baby, mommy just bought that purple lingerie a couple days ago. You see, mommy has been planning this… mmmmh… since our exam ended a few weeks ago.” She answers, yet she continues more. “Mommy knows that you have worked hard for the test… and I might have been spoiled with the results earlier than the rest of us since my dad got the info from our teacher. That's why I've been preparing for this.”

Her answers make him become more ecstatic which causes him to thrust into her pussy even faster and harder from their first round. This causes her to moan as loud as she could, as if she was screaming for her life.

“Y-Yes baby!!! Keep fucking my pussy. Make mommy sore really good at the end of this session, oh god!!” Her moans just keep making him more aroused to which he complies with keep fucking her pussy. It didn't take a long time after that before both of them cum at the same time yet again, which also makes it the second time he fills her up with his cum.

“Make sure you hold it in this time, mommy.” He warns her to not let his cum to get out from her pussy. However, as soon as he pulls out his dick, a huge load of their mixed cums spill out from her. This makes him sigh before looking at her face to see a huge smirk is formed on her face.

He then puts his hand around her neck, lightly chokes her. “You really know how to make me infuriated. Such a bratty mommy you are.” He playfully mocks her to which she nods pretty quickly to it. “Yes baby, I am your bratty mommy. I love to make you mad so that you could fuck mommy harder and harder.” She answers with gleaming eyes.

Her answers just make him only able to shake his head, baffled at her brattiness. Minutes later, he lifts her once again and carries her towards the classroom door. Then, he bends her over before lining himself at her back.

“Y-Yah, why here? Don't we have somewhere else in this classroom to fuck?” She asks with a worried tone which results in him scoffing. “Oh please mommy, you're the one who is always asking for having sex in public places. Besides, when we did it, your pussy seemed to be wetter, as if you really wanted us to get caught.”

She shakes her head to what he just said, trying to deny his exclamation. However, it is futile as he pushes his dick back into her pussy to experience that her pussy is indeed, feels a lot wetter than their previous two rounds. With a smirk on his face, he mouths ‘I told you so’ at her before pounding her pussy again.

She still tries to retaliate, meeting his poundings and shaking her head continuously while looking at him innocently, she tried though. However, it is no use as he hardens his poundings every time she tries to meet his pounds. In the end, she just whimpers before admitting her defeat.

“F-Fine, you win. Mommy always wanted us to have sex… nnng… in secluded public places. Mommy also loves adrenaline when doing it and hopes we might have a moment when we almost got caught doing this.” This results with him humming in satisfaction towards her response as he's still pounding her pussy.

As time goes by, both of them are at the brink of cumming for the third and final round of their sex sessions. “G-Gosh, baby… I'm so close and I know you are too. Fill mommy’s pussy one last time with your hot cum, please, mmmmh!!!” She insists on him. In the end, he obliges and after a minute later, he releases the final load of cum for the session deep inside her pussy. This also triggers her to cum all over his lower body.

As both of them are panting after that tiring session, Yechan roams his hands all over Sullyoon's body, trying to prolong the sensation of their orgasms. This makes her hum, feeling the warmth of his touch. Amusingly, he ends it by giving her butt cheeks some spanking which makes her yelp and turns her head towards him before giving her a playful yet deadly glare.

He then pulls his dick from her pussy after he feels that he has felt relaxed enough after his orgasm. Fortunately, this time, there is just a small amount of their mixed cums spilling out. “I guess you do know how to save my cum inside of you after all, mommy.” He says with a big smirk on his face which makes her scoff as if he's mocking her.

“Anyways, do you like the prize that I have prepared for you, baby?” She asks him, right after she turns around from her previous position. He just nods as an answer. “It was, indeed. Honestly, any present from you is good enough for me, but this is definitely top tier. At least, we're able to fulfill your bucket list.” He continues not until there's a loud rumbling sound coming from their tummies.

This makes both of them chuckle, knowing that both of them are exactly hungry. “Well then, I guess we better get something to eat. We did spend our time here without knowing it's almost dinner time.” Sullyoon says while looking at the wall clock in the classroom.

“I guess you're correct, Yoona.” He says which results in him getting pinched by her. “Yah, I told you to call me that when we're in public. You can only call me baby or mommy when it's just the two of us.” She whines and follows it up with her lips pouting. This makes him chuckle, seeing her looking so cute at the moment before giving those lips of hers some pecks.

“Hehe, I know… It's just, I love to see your pouting lips when you're upset.” He explains. “Anyways, let's get back dressed and get ourselves our dinner. I'm sure you're up for more rounds after dinner. Gonna get your other two holes to be filled with my cream.” He adds more with a smirk on his face to which, there is also a smirk appearing on her face as well. Nonetheless, they went back to where their outfits are left, putting them back on before leaving the classroom.

[qteez-desire]

My Angel

Pairing : Nerdy! Best Friend! Wooyoung x fem! Reader

Summary: What will happen when you and your best friend decide to take a break from studying and go nap? Will a situation cause you to act on your feelings..? Or go even further?

Genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, small plot

W.C. 6k (eek >○<)

👓Notes :Switches between second and third person pov quite frequently. Everything is clear to understand while reading, though. Italicized is wooyoung's internal thoughts as if he were talking to himself. Also, Wooyo isn't really a nerd in the fic. just dressed like a sexy one

👓Warnings: Overstim, Oral (F receiving), Fingering, soft sleepy jittery? smut , dry humping/ grinding, masturbation, dirty talk, mentions of stuffing and cockwarming ( does not actually happen tho) service top woo ( all he wants to do is please the reader) whining, moaning, squirting, cumming in pants/on back, cumming on stomach. Pet names (Angel/Baby)( use of y/n)Pls lmk if I forgot anything!

If you want to skip straight to the smut, scroll to the blue hearts like the ones below!

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

✨️Rahhhhh my first fic I'm posting on this account! I hope that whoever reads it enjoys it as well!✨️

May write a pt 2 with full on smut if anyome is interested !

👓REMINDER : my works do not represent the irl members in any way, this is purely a work of FICTION.

💚Requests/Asks are open!💚

Mature Under Cut!

“Pssst….pssst psss-”

Your eyebrow twitched as you tried to focus on the worksheet in front of you. You had been in the library for 4 hours, trying to cram for an upcoming final that you decided to not study for. (Opting to work yourself to death and come home, only to immediately crash). Luckily for you, your best friend happened to be a genius when it came to organic chemistry, but at the same time, he was also a big slacker. Even though he volunteered himself to tutor you, it seemed like more harm than help. Especially with the fact that he couldn't stay focused. He spent most of his time bothering you, or getting sidetracked.

“Hey y/n, are you even paying attention to me!? I'm trying to talk to you and-” Wooyoung continued to complain to you as his words went in one ear and out the other. You shifted your body in the small study booth you two were occupied in, so that you could look at him better. As your gaze shifted to him, you took in his features in the poor lighting. Today, woo was wearing an oversized flannel, with a couple buttons undone to show his chest and slender frame,some baggy black pants, and some ugly ass boots that you begged him to take off. Unfortunately he refused because it was for “fashion” you didn't understand because you usually opted for casual jeans and a hoodie. But you decided it would be best to let the man do his own thing. As your gaze shifted up to his face, you noticed that his skin was slightly glowing under the dim lamp, accentuating his sharp cheekbones and beautiful nose. You then noticed that he decided to wear large but thin black frames and had even drawn on some fake freckles. Your heart squeezed at your highly attractive best friend. You always wondered why he wasn't in a relationship yet; he had girls throwing themselves at him at any given moment, but he always opted to hang out with you, or his other friends, not paying them any mind. You loved Wooyoung with all your heart, you wanted him to be yours, but at the same time, you were content with being his friend. You didn't want to jeopardize what you had with him…

As your thoughts trailed off, you noticed he was still blabbing and whining for your attention, and a small smile graced your face. Wooyoung took notice of this and started to smile to himself. He could never get mad at you, you were too precious to him, he was deeply in love with you too, but you just didn't know it yet. This “tutoring” session he set up was a way for him to try and get closer to you to make a move, but that plan proved to be difficult when he noticed how much you were actually being affected by the content you were studying.

“Yah yah y/n, let's stop for today and go home, I can tell we aren't getting too far in today's lesson. Wooyoung said as he stood up and shoved all the textbooks in his bag. His heart warming as he saw you release a tense breath and stretch your body. The tension and stress seemingly floating away. Wooyoung gulped as he watched you stand, your shirt slightly lifting up and showing your midriff, the small glint from your belt buckle catching his attention. He wanted you so bad, it wasn't even funny. You could be sitting around just existing and you could sometimes feel himself getting hard for you. That's how whipped he was, but he had to control himself.

Wooyoung shook himself out of his thoughts as you came to stand next to him, signaling you were ready to go. He looped his arm around your waist, playfully pinching your side as you yelped and swung your hand to hit him, which he narrowly dodged. He giggled to himself and smoothed his palm over your waist trying to rub the pain out aS you two walked towards your car.

As you two walked along the corridor to the parking garage, you felt wooyoung's hand drift lower, securing his larger hand on your hip, pulling you closer to his side. He was always like this, so touchy feely, in all honesty, you didn't pay any mind to it since this was how he normally acted on any given day. Unfortunately your heart was too weak, and you could almost throw up from how violent the butterflies in your stomach were getting. Wooyoung glanced down at you and smirked, he could feel your body tense up, and he laughed to himself as he noticed a slight frown grace your face. “Hey angel, what do you want to do when we get home?” Wooyoung shook you out of your internal spiral as you pondered what you two should do. Honestly you just wanted to sleep for a little bit just to clear your mind so that you could get back to studying.``Honestly woo, I just want to nap a bit and then we can get back to studying” you muttered as you approached your car. “Okay angel, here, give me your keys, I'll drive us” you tossed him your keys and unceremoniously dropped into your passenger seat. It wasn't often that you were the passenger in your own car, but you were grateful to woo for offering to drive.

As the car rolled along the scenic route, wooyoung glanced over to you, his heart churning at the exhaustion that took over your features. His heart thumping in his chest he decided to test the waters and laid his hand on your thigh, slightly rubbing the soft flesh in a calming manner. You tensed up, a flash of heat pooling in your lower regions. Any little form of physical contact was enough to set you off, and wooyoung's veiny hand wasn't helping one bit. He continued to rub soft circles into the meat of your thigh and lightly squeeze every couple of minutes. Due to the calming nature of his touches, you sat back further in your seat and let the exhaustion envelop you, lighty dozing off. Wooyoung continued to drive down the expansive roads towards your shared apartment. And Yes, funny enough, you two happened to be roommates as well, Wooyoung springing the idea for you to become his roomate since he was lonely, and the fact that your lease had been ending soon. All he wanted was to be close to you, whether he was yours or not, he knew he always belonged to you.

………………..

A small hum could be heard as Wooyoung pulled into the parking garage of your apartment complex, you weren't fully asleep so you could feel the car get closer and closer to your destination, sighing, you straightened up in your seat and stretched, groaning loudly, gaining wooyoung's attention. As you stretched, a small portion of your hoodie started to ride up, exposing some of your soft skin, making wooyoung lose his focus for a small second.

It wasn't often that you showed skin, always opting to make your daily outfits sweatpants and some form of a hoodie, jacket , or sweater. You tended to run pretty cold, so you always made sure to stay warm and comfy, and in your words ``school is not a fashion show”. Funny enough, you had a knack for wearing your roommates clothes, and even sometimes you were lucky enough to steal some of Wooyoung's expensive designer jackets when he wasn't paying attention. Unbeknownst to you, it made Wooyoung go slightly feral whenever you wore his clothes. He had to restrain himself from jumping on you.

As Wooyoung let his thoughts fade, he felt your cold hands poking his cheek, softly gripping his jaw to shake his head so that he could pay attention to you.

“ -and, - wait a minute, Wooyoung are you there? I've been trying to tell you to stop zoning out!”

Wooyoung let his thoughts dissipate fully as he took you in, finally focusing his eyes on your face. He could see the tire in your eyes, dark circles starting to form due to restless nights spent studying and helping with Wooyoung's studies as well. You cared for him so much, and he could feel his heart starting to thump harder. He suddenly remembered that you said you wanted to nap for a bit, so he started to unbuckle his seatbelt to get out of your car. He gripped the hand that was holding his jaw and laid a small kiss to your hand, muttering a small “ sorry, lets go inside angel”. Your heart fluttered at the small action, but you had to remind yourself that this was normal for Woo, your heart strings tugging a small bit, maybe one day you would actually confess to him, but you didn't expect it to be anytime soon. You sighed deeply and opened Your car door, trudging inside your apartment with Wooyoung right behind You, a comforting hand resting on your shoulder as he guided you into the apartment. After stepping in, you gave wooyoung a small hug ,linking your arms around his slim waist and bid him a goodnight for now. “Goodnight angel, i'll be out here if you need me” as he kissed your forehead goodnight, he hopped over the back of the couch and sprawled out as you padded towards your room to sleep.

You were sleeping soundly in your bed, but as usual, you were starting to get cold, but luckily, you happened to live with a human furnace, so you decided to call out for Wooyoung. You weren't one to initiate physical touch or cuddling whatsoever, but you felt like you were going to die of coldness ( which was a big overreaction) but nonetheless, you needed to warm up, or you wouldn't be able to sleep at all. Woo happened to be relaxing on the couch, just lazily watching some show on netflix when he heard you croak out for him, your voice slightly scratchy due to just waking up. He had no idea what you could be calling him for, but he padded down the hall to your room. In the dim lighting, he could see your form cuddled underneath the covers, shaking like a leaf, and he could tell instantly that you were cold.

“Aww angel, are you cold?” wooyoung giggled at you as your head peaked from under the covers to shoot a quick glare at him. As you looked, you saw that he changed out of his questionable outfit that he had worn today, and was something much more comfortable. He sported some soft looking cotton shorts that you vaguely remember gifting him for Christmas, and a loose fitting t-shirt that sagged around his slim frame. After taking a moment to rake your eyes over his form, you felt your cheeks get warm but finally mustered up enough energy to speak to him.

“Yes. you fool, i am very cold and would appreciate it if you could lie with me for a little so i can warm up” you grumbled out, still violently shivering, you yanked the blanket back over your head, already done with Wooyoung's antics for the night. Due to being under the covers, you couldn't hear him coming closer until you felt a heavy hand on top of your head under the covers, and suddenly the air was knocked out of you as wooyoung dropped all of his body weight on top of you. You groaned out as you felt your entire body being compressed into the bed, all while wooyoung was cackling at the state he had you in. sneakily, you snuck your hand out from being squished underneath the covers and started swatting wooyoung's back to get him off of you, he continued to giggle and he lifted up the covers and slid in next to you,curling around your body like a koala. Instantly, you were granted with a cozy warmth emanating from woo. You sighed softly and snuggled into the bed deeper as you got more comfortable. Wooyoung made himself comfortable as well and wrapped his legs around yours , laid his head in the soft crook of your neck and wrapped his arm around your waist, squeezing your side and rubbing you softly to coax you into sleep. His hand then traveled lower and started rubbing soft circles in the meat of your thigh, just as he had done earlier. Unfortunately for you, that made a warm heat start to tingle in your nether regions and your eyes shot open, quickly shaking the sleep out of your bones. Luckily for you, he didn't notice your startled reaction, and kept switching back and forth between rubbing your stomach softly and kneading your thighs. You made soft noises of approval and content as you felt your eyes grow heavy due to the repetitive motion, and soon enough, you were sound asleep in wooyoung's embrace. Wooyoung admired your peaceful features, smiling to himself as you breathed in and out softly, sleep took over his form as well.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

You woke up a couple of hours later in pitch black darkness with a dry throat. You tried to move, but you found that difficult with the way you were being embraced by wooyoung, you two were now spooning, although he wasn't much bigger than you, his frame engulfed yours, both strong forearms wrapped securely around your waist and his face still tucked in your neck, softly snoring. If anything you felt like your body was on fire, and you were going to die. Your infatuation with your best friend wasn't helping one bit either, again you felt heat tingling in your nether regions. What in the hell was wrong with you all day??? You had been getting flustered and turned on all day, more than usual, maybe you were ovulating. As you were lost in thought, wooyoung started to stir and you felt wooyoung poking your lower back, although he wasn't hard, feeling the weight and pressure of him against you made your blood pressure skyrocket, your brow slowly starting to sweat. Wooyoung continued to stir until he woke up slowly, squeezing himself tighter around you and nuzzling himself further into your neck, speaking gibberish

“- angel, mmm,angel what-” his muttering was going in one ear and out the other as you weren't able to focus on what he was saying, only the raspiness of his voice after waking up. Wooyoung took note of you not paying attention and decided to bite your neck to make you pay attention. Of course this caught you 100% off guard and you let out a small whimper, making you both freeze a bit. Although you stayed frozen, you could feel your breath kick up and your heart rate pick up a bit, honestly you wondered how you were going to explain yourself,and while you were lost in thought, wooyoung studied your face. You seemed to like it but he could also tell you were nervous as hell so he decided to test the waters….

As you stared at the ceiling, acting like you were invisible, wooyoung took his chance and bit your neck again, this time attaching his lips to the tender spot and sucking lightly, and pressing a tender kiss as an apology. Again, you whimpered albeit a lot louder this time and you wanted a hole to open up under you and swallow you whole (or maybe let wooyoung do that hehe). So far you and wooyoung hadn’t spoken a word to each other, just consuming each other's heavy breaths and reactions. Suddenly you felt a strong grip on your jaw, your cheeks squished, similar to how you had wooyoung earlier in the car, you shut your eyes tight, scared to face wooyoung as he tilted your face back towards his.

“Angel, hey angel look at me.” you shook your head no as you were scared to open your eyes. Wooyoung giggled at this, enamored by your antics, he tried once again to get you to open up. “y/n, please open your eyes, i have something to tell you, and i can't tell you with your eyes closed” after he said this, he blew air on your face, causing your nose to scrunch up and he couldn't help but press a soft kiss on your nose, surprising you enough for you to open your eyes.

“Ah, there we go angel, there's my girl” wooyoung grinned at you as he was finally able to get your attention, but before he continued on his ministrations, he wanted to tell you how he really felt first before he ravished you.

“y/n, i don't think i can contain myself much longer and you need to tell me to stop before i devour you” wooyoung spoke quite honestly, taking your breath away, “ i'm so infatuated with you, your smile, your lips, your body, your brain, your personality, all of your makes me so crazy i can’t breathe. I want to be by you all the time, and I want you to be mine, because I'm already yours, you can have all of me, I don't care, it's always been you. You're so sweet to me it drives me crazy, even now just holding you makes my heart go insane. So please angel, tell me to stop because I don't want to ruin our friendship. If i'm overstepping any boundaries please stop me now angel” wooyoung finally stopped yapping enough for him to catch his breath while you on the other hand were completely floored. You wouldn't believe your ears at the confession that was just laid upon them, along with this, you could feel yourself becoming increasingly wet as wooyoung had kept speaking. You stayed quiet longer than you intended to when you heard wooyoung pouting, becoming impatient and whining for you to say something. After finally shaking the shock off of your body, you finally spoke out your feelings.

“Wooyoung i feel the same way, i always have, i have a lot to say to you but honestly i'm in a small state of shock right now so please forgive me” you frowned as you cringed at yourself. You could gush about how much you loved him, but your heart was literally in your stomach as you uttered the next words softly but sure of yourself “oh and by the way, i don't want you to stop” you shyly looked away from his intense gaze since it was so striking in the darkness of the night. That was all he needed to hear before he could claim you as his

“Great angel, i'll take care of you” wooyoung murmured with a shy smile before he leaned over and pressed his soft lips to yours. Wooyoung locked lips with you quite softly, not completely eating your face off yet, but starting to get a bit more desperate. He pressed his lips to yours a little more firmly, smacking his lips loudly against yours as he finally started to lick your lips. Breathing heavy through his nose, he pushed his tongue into your mouth licking around softly as your tongues danced together. You were panting as he kissed you, feeling your entire breath be taken away. You whined into the kiss, pulling away A little bit to catch your breath as you tried to turn your body but wooyoung stopped you.

“No, no angel, I want you to stay like this” wooyoung spoke and you listened to him, eager to continue. He leaned down and pressed his lips to yours again softly moaning into your mouth, he slipped his tongue back into your mouth to steal your breath.You were starting to get hot as you rubbed your thighs together slightly trying to gain friction. He then started to lightly suck on your tongue as one of his arms slithered under your (his shirt) grasping one of your nipples in his hand, lightly pinching and twisting, while his other hand traveled down your stomach and to the waistband of your fleece shorts. Your breath hitched in anticipation at what was going to come. Wooyoung pulled his mouth away from yours, a thin string Of spit connecting The two of you.

“Can I make you feel good angel?” Wooyoung muttered as he lowered his head to your neck, continuing his early mission of trying to get you to make as much noise as possible. He heard you say a soft “mhm” as he suckled more bruises into your neck, his fingers finally cupping your heat.

“My my angel , you're really soaked. Is this all bc of me hmmm” wooyoung cackled again, his fun and bubbly personality shining through the intimate moment. Woo gently rubbed his fingers up and down your folds gathering up slick to bring back up your clit. He brought his face up from your neck to watch you as you unraveled for him, your eyes scrunched and soft moans escaping your lips. Wooyoung felt himself hard as a rock behind you, Opting to rock his hips into your ass to make himself feel some sort of relied as well. Wooyoung started to leave high pitched moans in your ear as he was grinding on you. He dragged his fingers back towards your fold and circled your entrance, gathering up more slick before he eased his middle finger inside of you, your walls Instantly sucking him in.

“Holy fuck y/n you're so tight, im going to have to take my time with your cunt so you'll be ready for my cock” he groaned out as he started a steady rhythm pumping his fingers inside of you. Your moans started to increase In volume but it wasn't enough, wooyoung wanted you to wail and to scream his name. He then slowed down his pace causing you to whine

“Hah-hah” you pointed out, “woo, why did you-” suddenly you gasped “ah, ah, wooyo-” you let out a high pitched moans, as wooyoung curled his fingers up into you, dragging hard and slow around your sweet spot as his thumb pressed hard into your clit and drew tight circles. Your thighs started to shake by how strong the sensation was and you were rendered speechless, only able to pant wooyoung's name every couple of seconds. Wooyoung continued to grind into you, his precum staining his shorts and leaving a small wet patch on your ass. Wooyoung sped up his movements on you, a loud squelching sound Resonating around the room as you became wetter and Wetter, your slick leaking down wooyoung's veined arm and dripping down your legs onto the mattress and sheets. As you got closer and closer, your body started to curl in on itself, trying to relieve the intensity of the oncoming orgasm, But wooyoung was having none of that. He wrapped his legs around yours and anchored his other arm around your waist, momentarily stopping his attention on your nipples.

“Stay still so I can watch you cum on my fingers” he growled out in your ear, as you got closer and closer to the edge. Wooyoung then slowed down again, dragging his fingers against your gspot and pressing hard into you clit, and as he dragged his fingers once more, that's when you started to unravel and quiver in his grasp

“ woo- hah- ah, ah ah-” Your whines only grew louder and louder as you came on wooyoung's fingers, slick and cream slowly spilling onto your thighs and the sheets below. Your back arching and thighs quivering uncontrollably. wooyoung however didn't stop his movements and kept going, determined on coaxing another one out of you. Wooyoung was close as well, the ragged drags of his cock against your ass was providing the perfect friction as he whined into your ear.

“Fuck- woo, woo its- its too much-” you cried out as You wiggled in his grasp. The overstim making you lightheaded. “Hang on angel, just one more this way so I can come with you okay? I wonder how many times I'll make you come tonight” Wooyoung whined sweetly in your ear as you felt another orgasm quickly approaching. Wooyoung took his fingers out of you and focused all his attention on your clit, rubbing harshly into the bundle of nerves, the rubbing paired with how hard he was rocking into you, sent you into your second orgasm of the night quickly. You moaned loudly, wailing into the night as your thighs trembled and you felt yourself soaking the sheets even more. In your daze, you felt wooyoung thrusting sloppily on you and you tilted your head back to suck on wooyoung's tongue as he chased his high.

“It's okay baby, let go, cum for me” you mumbled against his lips as you stuck your tongue back in his mouth, hearing him whine. After a couple more thrusts, wooyoung stilled against your back, his cum Coming out in hot spurts within his shorts and some staining your sleep shorts. Wooyoung let out a deep breath And opened his eyes to peer at You. You looked utterly fucked out, legs still slightly twitching, your lips swollen From all the kissing And all of the marks left on your neck. You looked absolutely beautiful to him. And unbeknownst to you, he wasn't done yet at all. “How was that Angel?” He breathily asked as you regained your wits. “That was amazing woo” you gave him a small smile, wanting nothing more than to clean up and cuddle when suddenly you found yourself being dragged down the bed.

“Wooyoung what are you doing?!” You were fine with going all the way tonight but you honestly needed a recharge before you could go into another round of vigorous activity with Wooyoung. But before you could voice your thoughts, he started to speak again “angel, were you even listening to me earlier!? I said I was going to take care of you, so let me do one last thing and make you feel good by eating your sweet cunt” he smiled up at you as he grabbed your shorts and panties in one go and yanked them down your legs. You shivered in excitement and anticipation from what was to come. Wooyoung took a quick break to lean forward and give you a soft kiss, pushing your shirt up your stomach exposing your breasts to him. “wow angel, you're so beautiful” he murmured before he leaned down and took a nipple into his mouth while calming the other, Leaving harsh kisses and love bites On your nipple. As he alternated between nipples your moans made him start to get hard again, but he figured he would handle that later. He drew his attention away from your chest To continue Kissing down the expanse of Your body, nipping at the soft flesh of your stomach and leaving small marks here and there. He lowered his tongue into your navel, slowly swirling around, making your insides tingle a bit and more slick gush out of you as you squirmed Around. “Patient angel I'm almost there” You heard wooyoung say to you as he got closer and closer to your mound. wooyoung finally laid down fully on the bed and hooked his arm over your waist to anchor it down, and put your legs over his shoulders as he got comfortable.

As he finally looked at you, he saw the aftermath of his work on you and groaned. You were glistening. “Wow angel, you have such a pretty cunt, it looks delicious, '' Wooyoung said to you as he finally dove in and pressed a soft kiss to your sensitive clit. You jolted,due to still recovering from the workout he just put you through and you sat up on your elbows to take in the sight for yourself. Wooyoung between your legs, his mass of black hair Popping up as he locked eyes with you, his lips wrapping around your clit fully and giving a harsh suck, letting go of your clit with a sickening “Pop!” Noise. The sound you let out was unreal, a while turned into a drawn out breathless Moan as you let your body flop back on the mattress. “w-ww-woo, if you keep doing that, I won't last long-'' you managed to huff out as wooyoung paused to look up at your disheveled state.”uhh duh angel, that's the point obviously” he rolled his eyes as he bent back down to your heat. He spread his tongue out and licked a stripe up from your hole up to your clit, and he swore he could've passed out and came on the spot right then and there from how your eyes rolled back in pleasure. “Oh- wooyoung Fuck-” you choked out as he began to devour you whole.

He was able to easily slide his tongue into you, wiggling it around desperately while Trying to thrust in and out as fast as he Could. Your hands came down on his scalp, pulling his hair slightly to ground himself. He moaned loudly while he was deep in you, the vibrations causing you to squish his head in between your thighs momentarily. You released Him and he came up from your cunt to your clit, not letting up whatsoever. His tongue, covered in Slick And drool made it easier for him to drag His tongue all over your clit. He sucked on it lightly, just to bring you a little bit closer to the edge but not put you in a coma (not yet at least). He then brought his other arm around and started to finger you slowly, this time with his ring and middle finger to stuff you more; curling his fingers upwards again he had no Issue finding your sweet spot and started to rub into it with a firmer pressure, suddenly making you whimper louder and louder. All while woo fingered you, he kept his plump Lips wrapped around your clit sucking softly And harshly at random intervals and you knew You weren't going to last much longer. Which was good for wooyoung, he was rock solid and again steadily leaking against your bed, rocking into the plush sheets for any type of friction. His moans reaching high pitched was spurring you on closer and closer to euphoria. Wooyoung then decided to use his other Hand to pull the hood of your clit back to expose you more, and make you cum as hard as you could tonight, maybe he'd even make you squirt or even pass out too. one last time for the night he wrapped his lips around your clit and sucked hard, again and again and again, then vigorously swirled his tongue around the exposed bundle of nerves. The moans that came out of you so loud that they were borderline screams and your voice started getting hoarse After all the continued yelling. Somehow, you were able to muster up a couple of words before you came undone on his tongue and fingers.

“Woo-Woo,I'm going to cum-” you managed to Stutter out one last time as you felt like you were going to implode. Wooyoung sucked on you hard one last time and started humming on your clit. After that you seized up and began to cum hard on wooyoung. your legs were shaking and you couldn't breathe. your vision had gone spotty, but you felt like you were on cloud nine. Wooyoung cooed words of encouragement towards you as you were coming down from the high. As you came back to earth, you felt wooyoung still going, your thighs locking in a vice grip around his arm. He was now sitting up, his pants pulled down as he fisted his cock, starting to go harder, translucent strings of precum dripping on the sheets as he continued to punch into your gspot to get you to cum one last Time. You couldn't even speak, your voice was hoarse and your body was weak as you felt another orgasm coming on, this one however felt different like you had a strange pressure building up as well. “Woo- i’ i- feel funny” you gasped out as Your body shook from the intense overstimulation you were currently experiencing. “It- its Okay baby, let go” wooyoung Was able to grunt out as You could tell he was getting close. His knuckles Were white as ge fucked Into the tight grip of his hand vigorously, spurred on by your moans and the loud squelching of your pussy. Suddenly without warning, your entire body seized up once more. This time you felt your lower body spasming uncontrollably, you were Squirting. Splashing wooyoung's torso and cock with your cum and effectively soaking your sheets completely. “Yes baby, that's it, that's it ahhhh fuck y/n” wooyoung groaned out, that being the final push he needed to climax. You watched wooyoung cum on your stomach in hot Spurts as his cock and stomach twitched uncontrollably as well, emptying everything he had to give you for now. You and wooyoung took several moments To catch your Breath and regain some form Of stability.

“Wow” you and woo both said in unison, in a fit of giggles after the whole night you two Just shared. After that Wooyoung got up and got you a warm rag and cleaned off your stomach and lower area, being extra careful since he knew you were sensitive. He took his time Pressing soft kisses all over your stomach and thighs, he then leaned up over your face and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, rubbing his nose with yours and giving you a tight embrace.

“sooo when are you finishing your chem review “ wooyoung wiggled his brows at you and you slapped his back. “just shut and let me go back to sleep you fool” you blushed as he pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek as you two rolled over and went back to sleep.✨️

Authors Note💙

I hope you enjoyed! This was not proofread whatsoever so there are probably a lot of mistakes! I wrote this all on sleep deprivation fumes, so I'm sorry if some parts don't flow too well! Once again my asks are open!

💙✨️💙✨️Please don't be a silent reader! Like, comment, and reblog ✨️💙✨️💙

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez imagine #ateez wooyoung #jung wooyoung smut #jung wooyoung #wooyoung smut #wooyoung hard hours #wooyoung imagines #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung #jung wooyoung x reader #jung wooyung imagines #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #song mingi x reader #choi jongho x reader

[gojossocks]

New Romantics

Gojo x reader 𐙚 Genre: fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort 𐙚 Summary: You are the bane of Gojo's existence, at least that's what he tells himself. You're just full of surprises and he can't help but be fully enamored by you. 𐙚 wc: 8.5k 𐙚 content: kinda enemies to kinda lovers, a bunch of high schoolers, gojo is soo out of touch with his feelings, it's in his pov, gojo is sooo down bad, PINING, badass reader, reader is in a clan too! reader smokes ! kinda screams im not like other girls in a less toxic way, jealous! gojo, heavy make out, very self-indulgent HAHA can be read as a standalone. 𐙚 a/n: my first ever series ! it's kinda long but i swear it's fun! :D

series masterlist | prologue

Arrogant. Insufferable. Patronizing. Apathetic. 

The list goes on. 

Granted, Gojo is nowhere near close to you. You were barely friends.

If there is one person in Jujutsu High that he likes the least, it would be you. It’s not like he resents you, it’s just that you represent  everything he hated from being in a clan just like him.

From the way you strut your very expensive loafers to the way you shop to your heart’s content after every mission since your first year. Not to mention that you’re the all-perfect princess that your clan wants you to be. 

“Gojo, please pass me the p-“

“No can do, shorty.”  He chirps, giving you a shit-eating grin. 

You glared at him before motioning Shoko to hand you the pen instead. “Gojo, you know you kinda look like someone I like.”  You didn’t let him finish, crossing your arms before giving him a devilish smirk. “That cute little rat from Shrek.” 

Gojo’s eyes widened at your insult but Suguru and Shoko were already snickering at him. He despises the idea that everyone seems to adore you, except him of course.

In the eyes of the higher ups and your family, you were the sweetest girl ever. Somehow, you’re always growing horns around him. 

Everyone thinks that Gojo’s only messing with you whenever the two of you banter. Hell, there are some students gossiping that he has a crush on you (which he definitely doesn’t) But only Geto and Shoko know how much he actually dislikes you.

You seem so obedient with all your clans orders, following everything that’s asked of you, carrying the submissiveness and elegance a Y/L/N is supposed to have. And if there’s anything Gojo hated the most, it’s tradition. It’s why he’s in Jujutsu High in the first place, he wanted to change the system badly— and seeing you become the embodiment of the tradition he badly wants to change pisses him off. 

Each time the higher ups get mad at him for not being in his ‘best behavior’, your name is constantly echoed around the meeting room. ‘You should be more like Y/L/N’ ‘Bring honor to your clan like how Y/L/N does.’ 

The only act of rebellion that you do is that your hair is dyed in a way that would make the higher ups frown. Your hair is recently dyed bright orange. He finds himself scoffing at the idea that you only get scolded because of a damn hair color. Gojo’s also confused with how cunning and sassy you are when there aren’t any prying eyes. Maybe you’re just doing that to seem cool. 

Well, he just has to avoid you at all costs so you would stop annoying him and pestering his thoughts. 

Unfortunately for him, Yaga has different plans. 

“Satoru. Y/N.” Yaga announces when he was pairing up students for a mission but he doesn’t even get to finish because Gojo emits a loud dramatic groan from across the room. 

“Why?” He whined, tilting his head up to create a dramatic effect. “It’s always been Suguru and I.” 

“Satoru, you and Suguru need to be paired up with someone who's an expert in reversed curse technique. It’s your fault you haven’t learned it yet.”  

Gojo crossed his arms and pouted. “Y/N can kiss my ass, teacher.” 

“No thanks. I’m sure you don’t wash yours. I could smell you from afar, stinky.” Everyone else groaned as the two of you started another banter, forcing the meeting to be 5 minutes longer than usual— particularly because no one dares to cut off your argument (Yaga is too amused because of how much you put Gojo in his place.) 

-.-

The mission didn’t go well. It was the first time you and Gojo worked together, and judging by your huge egos, your banter caused the both of you to get injured– you more so than Gojo. He was too reckless today, attempting to get a reaction out of you, which is why he got caught off guard when a 1st grade curse attacked him.

You pushed him out of the way, causing the curse to land a hit on your shoulder and right arm. Gojo stood still in his place in shock and your right arm was already injured when he snapped out of  his trance. He obliterated the curse easily but the damage has been done. 

You’re just lucky it was a minor injury but the fact that you did that for him, considering how you two were at each other’s necks for the longest time confuses him. It disoriented him until the both of you arrived at Jujutsu High. 

When he got patched up, he stood up to apologize but you were nowhere to be found. He assumes you’ve already healed yourself due to your reverse curse technique ability but he can’t help the nagging feeling in his mind. 

You were quiet today— well, ever since this afternoon. And no he’s not keeping track, he’s just not used to not hearing your snarky remarks and sarcastic comebacks at his attempts to annoy the shit out of you.

You’re just ignoring him, giving short insults in response to his own for the most part of your mission until you shielded him from that curse. 

His guilt weighs on him heavily as he strolls around the school, waiting for Shoko and Geto. but really it’s just to see you. Gojo had noticed that you’re always gone the moment after your mission’s debriefing, sometimes even when you’re injured. 

At last, he saw you just a few blocks away from Jujutsu High, towards the new 7/11 store that opened a few months ago. Gojo tilts his head to the side and furrows his eyebrows before deciding to follow you as discreetly as he could.

He stood near a house behind the convenience store where he could be hidden by a large plant beside it. He watched you grab a few things off the shelves and talk with the cashier, who happily greets you at the counter. You must’ve been here frequently. 

1 can of coke. A box of cigarettes. Coffee. 

Gojo never took you as the type who would visit a convenience store, as shocking as that sounds. He knows you’re rich. Filthy rich. You’ve always been pampered just like him, everything down at your feet because you’re the most powerful sorcerer in your clan. 

Finally, you got out of the store. Gojo’s eyes widened like saucers when you went straight to his hiding spot. 

“You know,” You called out, putting a hand on your hip.  “It surprises me how much of an idiot you are despite being a notorious smartass. Your hair sticks out of the leaves because you’re so fucking tall, Gojo.” 

“Heh.” He rubs his nape sheepishly, offering you a shy grin. “Didn’t think you’d see me.”  

“Really?” You deadpan before walking away from him, back to Jujutsu High. He jogs up to your side. “Why are you hiding anyway? Spying on your rival or something?” 

“Maybe.” He says lightly. It’s the first time any of you are talking normally to each other without malice. “Where are you going?” 

“Somewhere.” 

“Can I come?” He insisted, voice filled with excitement, leaving no hint that he’s gonna stop following you.  A smile tugs at the corner of your lips.

He looks like a puppy, following you around. It’s an amusing sight, even to  you. 

“No.”  You still kept walking, paying no mind as Gojo continued to follow you.

He feels an unusual giddiness at the thought that you hadn’t outright pushed him away because if you really wanted to, you would have told him to leave. 

You lead him to the abandoned fence with the sign ‘DO NOT ENTER’ in the restricted building of the school that had remained under construction for years. It was the tallest building in Jujutsu High. You wordlessly went up to the concealed stairs at the obscured side of the building and onto the rooftop. 

You sat at the edge of the building, your feet dangling off the edge. Gojo cautiously followed your actions, opting to sit next to you. He observes you as you unravel bit by bit and it’s the first time he’s seen you this relaxed and vulnerable—something that you granted him the privilege to see.

Rummaging through your paper bag, you retrieved a can of his favorite drink, Coca-Cola. As you handed it to him, a subtle surprise flashed across his face before he muttered a sincere ‘thanks. 

You then opened your box of Marlboro red and lit up a cigarette, putting it in between your lips before taking a drag. Gojo observes you silently, his mouth agape.  It was a revelation, discovering facets of you that he never anticipated. The act of you casually smoking, the ember casting a faint glow on your features, added another layer to the enigma that you are. 

Gojo stays silent for a few  more minutes or so until you notice his confusion, mainly because his eyebrows are almost meeting and he’s staring intently into the abyss. 

“Are you broken or something? You usually never stop yapping.” You joked, bumping your shoulder to his. 

“I didn’t know you smoked.” Gojo says dumbfoundedly. 

You chuckled but his question was left unanswered. He forgets about it completely because his brain short circuits when you move closer to him, taking off his sunglasses and perching it atop his head. His radiant baby blue eyes are out staring at you intently.

You give him a soft smile and point at the view in front of you. “I love going here after missions, sunset’s beautiful here.” 

“you’re being nice to me. Why?” 

Again. No answer. You just hummed in amusement and no words were spoken afterwards. 

The sun begins to descend, casting a warm, golden glow over the view from below. The city sprawls out beneath the both of you and the skyline extends into the horizon, bleeding in hues of pink and orange. Both of you sit in silence and when Gojo turns to look at you, he feels his heart beat quickening every passing second.

You look so breathtaking as the remaining sunlight kisses your skin, creating a halo effect around you. He suddenly doesn’t know why his palms feel so sweaty and he can’t manage to land a punchline to make you roll your eyes playfully at him. 

“I’m sorry I got distracted. Thank you for saving me today. I didn’t know you’d be more…” He trails off and you cut him off with a laugh so pretty enough that his head whipped to turn to you. 

“Kind? Human? You think I’m just like my clan huh?” You giggled and it shocked him how light you’re taking the situation.

You must’ve gotten used to it.

Just like him.

You stayed silent for a while before speaking in a serious tone. “Just because I don’t defy my clan’s ideals freely as you do doesn’t mean I’m not against it. When you’re a woman, you have to play nice, you know? I don’t have much of a choice unlike you. I know you don’t like me but I shielded you because you’re my friend.”

It was a wonder for Gojo that he’s the only one you’re not on good terms with out of everyone in Jujutsu High. Hell, he even overheard Yaga asking you to call back those Kyoto Students. It’s a big deal because those pesky Kyoto Students are usually their rivals but for some reason they’re always looking for you.

Then comes the Tokyo students, whom he never sees not greeting you or asking to hang out with you. Come to think of it, their expressions are always brightening up whenever you’re around and he thought that maybe they’re not that welcoming to him because he’s loud. But it’s you. It’s all you. 

From the way you listen intently to your friends, and your saccharine voice asking them about their day or whatever that piques their interest. You care, a lot. You even saved him from that grade 1 curse, resulting in a painful wound on your shoulder. Granted, you had the ability to heal yourself but who was he even in your life? and yet you took the fall for him. 

Gojo always hated that everyone seemed to look at him as that ‘six-eyed kid from the Gojo clan’. He hated the rumors about him just because of your last name— something that he has done to you since the first time you stepped foot into the school. 

He swallows his guilt and sets his pride aside. He wanted nothing more than to make it up to you.  “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve read you wrong. I thought you were just like the rest of them.”  

“It’s alright.” You say nonchalantly as possible but the voice crack at the end gives you away. Gojo chooses to ignore that. This probably means a lot to you as much as it did to him. “I mean I get it, I actually admire your passion for changing the way our clans lead the Jujutsu World. I think you have the guts for standing up to them just like that.”

“You really think so?’ He scoots closer and gives you a small smile, his heartbeat quickening faster as he feels your warmth— your thighs almost touching. 

“Yeah.” You grinned back, leaning your wait to his side before taking a sip from your coffee. 

“So you think I’m pretty?” He looks at you and bats his eyelashes comedically.

You snorted in response and slapped his arm lightly.  “I’ll throw you off this building.” 

Gojo forgot the passage of time in those 4 hours at that rooftop. The sun had already set and the moon was gleaming, already dark out. He likes talking to you but he enjoys it more when you’re the one doing the talking. 

You talked about your school life, hobbies, even your life with your clan– anything that comes to mind. Talking to you is as easy as breathing. You’re just full of wisdom, kindness, and wit.

Gojo found out today that he actually likes making you laugh, something about it makes his stomach feel funny. He also found out your preferences in coffee, food, and even music. 

“Don’t you dare tell that spot to anyone, Gojo.” You took one of the sweets in his hands and popped it in your mouth before giving him a teasing grin.

You’re now walking side by side on the way to the dormitory. He insisted on walking you to your dorm even if his dorm is from the other side of the building. 

A chuckle escaped his lips as he matched your stride. “Yes, Ma’am.”  He replied with a teasing voice, earning a hum of approval from you. You finally stopped in front of your door. 

“Thank you Goj-” 

“Satoru.” He cut you off,  his voice suddenly softening. As you tilted your head inquisitively, he found himself breaking into another warm smile.  His cheeks ached from smiling too much this evening. “You can call me Satoru instead.” 

“I like saying Gojo, especially when I yell your name when I’m mad at you.” 

“Are you mad at me right now?” He wiggles his eyebrows, earning a playful roll of your eyes in response. 

“No.” 

His demeanor shifted then, almost like he’s surrendering his vulnerability to you. “Then call me Satoru.” You could almost hear the plea in his voice. 

You sigh in mock defeat, your lips curved into a smile as you relented to his request. “Okay, Satoru.”

-.-

“You’re barely hanging out with me anymore, Satoru. Have you found my replacement already?” Suguru says, smirking as he watches his best friend’s eyes widened— a blush adorning Satoru's cheeks.

Satoru fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, causing Suguru to smirk at him. This behavior definitely did not go unnoticed by his best friend. Rarely did Satoru ever get nervous and Suguru was all for it. 

“I was just busy, Suguru. You missed me that much? I didn’t know I am participating in a homosexual relationship with you—”  He retorted, attempting to deflect Suguru. 

But Suguru wasn’t one to let him off the hook easily. “Busy hogging Y/N?” 

Satoru scoffed, giving him a look of disbelief. “Pffft. Nah. Of course not. We’re friends!” He insisted, though the way his gaze momentarily flickered away betrayed a hint of something more.  

It has been nearly 6 months since that evening on the rooftop. Satoru and you have been attached to the hip ever since— or to phrase it better, Satoru has been attached to you ever since. Somehow, you’re a lot more similar than he thinks and because of that, you just know each other a lot deeper.

He also finds himself doing things out of pure interest like walking with you to the 7/11 store after mission just to talk to you til dusk on that rooftop, completely forgetting about his friend group’s game nights. Other times, he reaches for your wrist to encourage you to mingle with other people. He even accompanies you to your monthly shopping sprees in the city or in Shinjuku or Shibuya. He found out you love traveling and going to other places— it clears your mind, you had said. His closet is now full of clothes you helped him pick out, almost half of them you bought for him randomly. 

It’s normal for friends to do that, right? 

Seated side by side, Satoru and Suguru observed how you and Shoko practiced your reverse cursed technique. Satoru’s just munching on the sweets you bought for him while his best friend is clearly enjoying the view of how dumbstruck he is by you. 

“Satoru,” he began. “You’re always following her around, it’s like you’re glued to each other already and you even fell asleep together during movie nights more than 3 times already. The only time you’re not with her is when you’re on missions with me or lunch. Are you already secretly dating?” 

“Yeah, we’re not!” Satoru says swiftly and defensively, causing Suguru to raise an eyebrow at him. “Why are you keeping count anyway?” 

 “Sure, just friends.” Suguru insisted, attempting to downplay the whole situation but Satoru is already growing agitated with the way he’s being teased.  Suguru gave him a devilish smirk.  “What if she dates another guy?” 

Satoru shuts up for a minute before muttering a quiet  “… She won’t.” 

“You don’t sound sure. She eventually will.” Suguru gave him an all-knowing smile and that’s when he knew that Suguru was being serious. 

“Huh?”  Satoru furrowed his eyebrows, casting an accusing look at his best friend.  “How are you so sure?” 

“Shoko said she’s going on dates.” 

Oh. 

So that’s why he’s been seeing you less, and you seem so distracted whenever you guys would hang out. Satoru thought that you were just busy but he didn’t think you’d actually go on dates with anyone. I mean, you’re still young right? Besides, who would be deserving of you?

Satoru didn’t notice that he was staring daggers into Shoko as you hugged her tightly. His expression darkened, jealousy flashing in his eyes before softening as he heard you laugh. 

Pretty. 

You look so pretty. 

Since when did he find you incredibly pretty?

Sure, you were just friends but he doesn’t know why he has this urge to be with you all the time, he even wants to hug you like how you hug Shoko and Utahime. It’s just unfair that you only lean to him or give him a fist bump or when you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder.

He longs to hold you close, to see you every morning, and to be the person that makes you laugh all the time.  

And when you noticed him staring you beamed at him and waved. 

Oh, he definitely has a crush on his friend. 

He didn’t know how much time passed but soon enough his day wouldn’t be completed without seeing you. He actually looks forward now to the meeting with different plans, particularly because you were there with him. And he basically lives now in your dorm room, candy wrappers everywhere and an array of his glasses sit beside your bedside table.

You talk about anything, even the random thoughts that come to his mind. You managed to know him better than Suguru knows him, which is surprising by the way. 

But during the past week, he surprisingly didn’t see you— not even at the rooftop that you both had grown to hang out together. Suguru told him that he acts like he has a ‘stick up his ass’ but he was just worried about you. Have you grown tired of him? It all made him fidget like crazy. 

Satoru caught a glimpse of your bright blue hair after your mission with Suguru. It was the kind of blue that matches his eyes. But he didn’t pay attention to it that much because of your sullen look.

He tried looking for you at the convenience store or your dorm but you were already gone so his last bet is at the rooftop, and there you are.

Your back is facing him with your feet dangling off the edge, you seem to be in your own world judging by the loud music he’s hearing. There are two packs of cigarettes by your side and a can of your favorite coffee. The sun is almost setting again and you’re just staring ahead while you hum along to the song you're listening to. The view seems so… sad. He felt something tug at his heart strings. 

“You know you should quit smoking. if you keep it, you’ll never see me old handsome.”  He tried to joke off before climbing the edge to sit next to you. He took off his glasses before wincing at the view, it was too bright so he decided to put it on again. 

You giggled in response,  he can tell that you saw right through him when you had a soft look in your face.  The both of you hadn’t quite reached the stage where you’re entirely comfortable with opening up to one another.

So he tried to lighten up the mood once more, “It actually diminishes your ability as a sorcerer.” 

“Says who?” 

“Says yoda” He responded rhetorically before giving you a lopsided grin.  

You nodded before taking out your lighter to light up your cigarette.   “I only smoke when I’m stressed.” You confessed.

“Oh?” Satoru asks 

“Yeah” You smiled at him, taking a drag from your cigarette, sighing when the nicotine hit your system. 

“Then we’ll do something else, yeah?” He grinned at you mischievously before pointing his index. “Wait.” 

With a quick rummage through his pockets, he brought out a handful of brightly colored lollipops, their wrappers crinkling softly in his hand. 

“What do you have in mind?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. 

Satoru extended his hand, offering you a lollipop with a playful wink. “Something sweeter?” 

He gives you a toothy grin—his eyes sparkling when you take it, shaking your head at his enthusiasm.

“This is ridiculous,” You laughed, amused by his antics as you unwrapped the sweet treat and popped it into your mouth. 

“It works, right?” Satoru asked eagerly. 

He’s been searching for alternative ways for nicotine but he couldn’t find any gum in the 7/11 store. Lollipops are his last choice. 

“I don’t know. Isn’t it gum that lessens the nic addiction?”  You countered, bumping your shoulder against his. 

“Lollipops are an alternative,” He says defensively, though a hint of concern crept up to his face.  “Are you okay?”  

“Yeah, uhm. It just gets tiring sometimes, you know?” You responded, bitterness lacing your voice. “ All the pressure. Sometimes I feel like I’m not treated humanely at one point.” 

“Hey. I’ll help you okay?” He placed a hand on your shoulder before offering you a soft smile. “When you’re with me, you don’t have to please those old geezers.” 

“I appreciate it, Satoru.” You smiled back at him and he found himself melting in your gaze. The sun be damned, he could live alone in your presence.

You decided to leave when it’s already half past eight. Once he helped you to his feet you looked at him shyly, and if it’s a bit lighter out he would see a blush creeping up to your face. The walk back to your dorm is silent again, your hands just occasionally brush and Satoru wondered if you think about holding his hand too. 

So when you let him in your dorm like you usually do. Satoru hesitated for a moment before he mustered up the courage and asked, “Is it okay if I hug you?” 

He noticed you freeze and he feared that he might have overstepped, but before he could retract his words, you’re already nodding and he instinctively wrapped his arms around you. Satoru hears you sigh in the hug and he feels like he’s floating when you tug him closer.

Satoru prayed silently that you couldn’t hear the loud thumping of his heart because he finally has you in his arms and this is all he wanted. The warmth of your body against his, the way you leaned into his touch, it all felt surreal to him. 

You’ve finally let your guard down around him and he noticed you gradually open up to him when you’re feeling sad or disappointed with something. Somehow he can’t bring himself to be like that to you yet, Satoru has this underlying feeling that you’d like him less if he starts showing vulnerability. 

But to his surprise, he feels like you like him more because of that. There was this instance where he’s so overstimulated after a mission because he had to take off his glasses to work on his six eyes. He started to become dizzy and everything around him was a blur.

As he sat on the couch, feeling utterly overwhelmed and disoriented after the mission. Despite his attempts to mask his discomfort with a feeble smile, you saw right through him, as you always seemed to do.

“Satoru, are you okay?” Your voice cut through the haze of his senses, casting him a worried glance.

He managed a strained smile before the brightness around him intensified, sending a sharp pang through his temples. "I'm...I'm fine," he mumbled.

“Satoru, you’re not a good liar.” You stood up to turn off the lights, only leaving the night lamp on, a soft glow illuminating the entire room, making it bearable for Satoru. He’s rubbing his temples, trying to ease the pain. 

He feels a weight dip in the couch, you gently remove his glasses and place them on the nearby table. Then, without warning, your arms enveloped him in a warm embrace, guiding his head to rest against the crook of your neck, fully covering his eyes.

Now that he’s calmed down, Satoru became acutely aware of the closeness between you. He’s lucky that you can’t see how his eyes widened at your action and how flushed he probably looks right now. Well, not that he can see anything right now. 

But he chooses to ignore the loud beating of his heart again, passing it off as adrenaline rush from the mission. He allows himself to relax in your hold, with your fingers threading softly through his hair, all his worries and fatigue melted away. 

Gojo Satoru had never known romantic love, let alone had a crush on anyone. So maybe it was just normal for friends to hold each other when one is tired or in need of comfort.

He loves to play with your hand when both of you are alone, while he babbles about something random and outright weird just so he could ignore how you make him feel. He tries to ignore the blush creeping up on his face when you listen to him intently, like every word that he utters matters, no matter how ridiculous it was. His feet always drag him to you because after a long day, all he needs is cuddles from you— oh, and your soothing voice too.  

So really, what is this weight on his chest when Shoko announced that you’re going on a date? 

Why is he pouting suddenly, assaulting his food as he stabs it continuously while you are gushing about what to wear or what to say when he knows you just look so beautiful even without trying?

Isn’t he enough?

Satoru buys you stuff, he takes care of you, he knows everything about you. He’s always hanging at your dorm after school, you’re practically like a couple at this poi–

Shit. 

Maybe he does have a crush on you. 

“I don’t know why you’d bother going on a date, Y/N. Guys are basically disgusting.” 

“Says a guy.” You rolled your eyes playfully while going through your closet. 

Satoru’s getting desperate now, why are you so adamant to get on that date? 

Satoru felt a knot of desperation tightening in his chest as he watched you model your top three dresses.  The first dress, adorned with vibrant florals, seemed to scream "first date" with its playful charm. However, you quickly dismissed it as unsuitable for the dinner date you had planned. Next, you slipped into a simple yet elegant black bodycon dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was hard to ignore the bitterness he’s feeling— you getting dolled up for a random guy. 

But it was the final dress that truly captured his heart. As you twirled around to show him, the white silk fabric cascading gracefully around you, Satoru found himself momentarily breathless at the sight. Your awkward smile only added to the enchantment of the moment. You look so ethereal. 

"What do you think?" you asked, swaying gently as you admired yourself in the mirror.

"I—" Satoru cleared his throat, his voice suddenly dry as he struggled to find the right words. "I think I like the other one better, the black one," he managed to say, though his heart whispered otherwise.

You somehow listened to his advice and wore the black bodycon dress that he suggested.

You looked nothing short of breathtaking, a literal goddess. 

It was the longest 3 hours of his life, each passing minute feeling like an eternity as he anxiously wait for your return. Despite his best effort to distract himself by distracting Suguru, his thoughts kept returninhg to you— wondering if you’re having the time of your life with your date. 

A small part of him wishes that the date didn’t go well and you’ll just spent the rest of the evening eating sweets with him all the while casting funny remarks on your date but he wasn’t prepared when you came home with mascara running down your face, your lips curved into a pout, and your eyes puffy and red from crying. 

Without a word, Satoru stood up to engulf you in his arms, furrowing his eyebrows as you collapsed into him.  “What happened, Y/N?” 

He held you close, a surge of protectiveness flooding his senses as if an attempt to shield you from the world.

“He’s a misogynist, Satoru!” You cried, your voice cracking. “So full of himself! I thought he was kind and sweet but then he just started babbling about his clan and how good of a potential husband he is. As if I want to marry him!” 

“Who was he anyway?”  He gently wiped away your tears. 

“Naoya Zenin” You sniffled, playing with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry I’m staining your shirt.” 

“No, no.” He whispered, brushing away the strands of your hair on your face. 

He took a mental note to research on the guy that made you cry later on. He realizes that the sight that he despises the most is the sight of you crying. He never wants to see you like this, ever. 

“You said you like the beach right?” Satoru spoke out of the blue, his hand tracing circles on your arm. “Why don’t we go to one?” 

-.-

And that’s how Satoru managed to spend all of his monthly allowance in a week. He booked a flight for the 6 of you (of course he wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea, he insisted it’s a vacation for the six of you— him, you, Suguru, Shoko, and even Utahime and Mei Mei because apparently you’re good friends with them too) 

So now here he is, about 200, 000 yen poorer. (help i don’t know if this is accurate) He wanted what’s best for you, so of course he’d spend a lot for you.  It was all worth it though, when he sees you in a baby blue bathing suit that he helped you pick out. No it was definitely not because it’s similar to the color of his eyes. Blue just suits you well. (Hence, he’s also suitable for you) 

“Satoru, you're going to catch flies if your mouth keeps hanging like that. Hey, are you also drooling?” Suguru pokes Satoru, who quickly straightens up when you look his way.

You gave him a sheepish smile, and he didn’t know what the fuck you’re doing to him because he feels a hard on coming his way.  Shoko notices Satoru’s flushed expression but she just continues to smoke, clearly enjoying the show. 

Eventually, everyone agrees to swim in the beach and try on the jet skis that Satoru had rented. What he didn’t know though, was the fact that you’re afraid of the ocean.

You were just hugging yourself while the waves crashed against your feet. The sight looks so cute but he wants you to enjoy it, so he uses his tactics to get you to join the group.

Unfortunately for him, you’re so stubborn to stay on the shore. 

“I don’t want to go, Satoru! It’s not funny! I might get eaten alive by megalodon sharks or something.” 

“C’mon! I’m really tall, I can protect you! Jesus, here—”  His hand intertwined with yours, causing you to blush profusely. “Just hold my hand, okay?  Hell, hold onto me if you like. I can carry you!”

“Your hands are uhm, really warm.” You commented, your voice tinged with embrassment. 

“Oh yeah?” He smirks at you, his gaze locking with yours. “You want me to warm you up?” 

“I’m gonna kill you.”  You deadpanned. 

Despite your protests, you ended up trusting him to pull you in the deeper part of the ocean. He even managed to get you to ride the jetski with him, the grip you had on his waist nearly suffocating him.

Satoru didn’t want to focus on the closeness between you two— your body pressed up against his back. If he does, he might lose control and drop the both of you into the ocean. 

Meanwhile, the rest of the group is observing the two of you while sipping on their Margaritas.

“God, these two.” Mei Mei muttered as she rolls her eyes. “Best slow burn romance I’ve ever seen for free.”

If anyone would glance at you and Satoru, they would immediately think you’re dating, but you’re not and it’s frustrating to anyone within your radius. 

Besides her, Shoko chimed in, her voice laced with amusement.   “It’s so painfully obvious that they like each other. They were comparing hand sizes earlier for god’s sake.” 

“Yeah, they should just fuck already.” 

-.-

“Okay, so you kiss the person the bottle’s pointing at.” Utahime explained excitedly, albeit a bit drunk.

Everyone’s gathering around the crackling bonfire bonfire, the warm glow casting dancing shadows across the sand.  It was now nearing midnight and you decided to play a game to end the night, which is spin the bottle. You spent all afternoon swimming and riding the jet skis Satoru rented. 

Satoru felt a bead of sweat form on his brow as the bottle nearly lands you and Suguru.

He wanted your first kiss to be with him, as selfish as that sounds. He internally cursed Shoko for suggesting this game. 

It landed on Shoko and Utahime, then Shoko and Suguru, then Mei Mei and Utahime. 

His nervousness escalated as the game continues. Satoru was busy praying that the bottle wouldn’t land on you and anyone that he failed to notice when the bottle finally came to a stop, pointing directly at you and him. 

“Ooooh” Utahime teased you, playfully poking your arm. “It’s you and Gojo!” 

You laughed nervously, shooting a helpless glance in Satoru’s direction. He wanted to protest but his curiosity outweighed his embarrassment. 

He wanted to know how it feels like to kiss you. 

Besides, it’s just a kiss, right? 

Satoru was stunned when you hurriedly pecked him on the lips before you retreated back to your seat. His mind raced as he tries to process the fleeting touch.

He just kissed you. 

He couldn’t believe it when you looked back at him with a subtle smile playing in your lips.  

The rest of the night was a blur for him, not because he was drunk. Satoru’s a lightweight and you know that fact, that’s why you were drinking for him.

While everyone else is playing games and talking about anything, his mind is still stuck on the fact that you kissed him

You’re his first kiss.

And he's yours too,

The gods had answered his prayers.  But that was barely a kiss in the first place, do you even want it or were you just pressured to do it?

The thought stings. So he took a couple of sips from Suguru’s beer bottle until he was tipsy enough to not think about your lips on his. Yet, with each glance in your direction, the memory of your lips on his persisted. 

-.- 

Satoru helped you go to your room, even if he’s a bit drunk himself.  Both of you were stumbling on the way to your room, but he thankfully he managed to settle you down on the bed as gently as he could. His attempt to withdraw was no use as you pulled him down with you, your grip firm yet gentle as you clutched his hand in your sleep. 

Satoru admired your sleeping state, your hair sprawled out messily on the bed and you’re gripping his hand.

Your mouth slightly open as you slept, emitting soft rhythmic breaths but then you started mumbling something—it first it was incoherent until you mumbled in a slur,  “I think you’re cute.” 

“Huh?” Satoru questioned, even though he heard you clearly. He just want to hear it again from you. 

“I said I think you look like a sack of shit. Fuck you.”  You clarified, your words still slightly intelligible and laced with frustration and humor. 

“Uh-huh.” He replied, feigning ignorance, his heart fluttering at your words. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Satoru brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering momentarily against your skin. 

“You know,” You started, your words slurring as you looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “You’re my first kiss. It was really good even if it just lasted a second. Thank you for today, toru.” 

He laughed at your intoxicated state. You just look so adorable when you’re relaxed like this, the way your features softened and your laughter bubble up freely without a care in the world.

His gaze drifted to your lips, they seemed to beckon him to give in.  He definitely wants to kiss you now. 

Satoru’s heart raced as he struggled to fight the urge to lean in, knowing that it was a dangerous game to play. You decided to take matters in your own hands, shifting closer to him, your face close enough that he could feel you breathe against him. 

“Please, ‘Toru.” You whispered, your lips barely touching. “Please kiss me again.” 

Who was he to deny you that? To deny you? 

When Satoru kissed you for the second time, he took his time to savor it. His hand reaches out to cup your cheek and brushes his lips against yours. 

Your lips are warm and soft, he wanted to kiss it for eternity. Literally. He feels like in cloud nine as he kisses you deeper, slipping his tongue inside as you parted your lips, earning a soft moan from you.

Satoru weight settled against you, your bodies pressed together, breathing heavily as he connected his lips against yours once more. 

You taste better than any candy he has ever tasted. He might just get addicted, drunk even. 

“We shouldn’t—” He sighs into your mouth. You whimpered when he pulled away, your sweet voice going straight through his dick. “I don’t want to do this like this.” 

“What” a kiss. “Do” followed by another, “You,” then another “Mean?” then another.

You were peppering kisses all over his face all the while carding your hand through his hair, tugging it a bit to earn a reaction from him. He almost lost it when you squeezed him through his boxers. 

Satoru managed to pull away which he clearly struggled on doing when you pout at him, lips swollen and covered with saliva and you’re looking at him with those damned doe eyes. 

He pecks your lips, both of your cheeks, and he places a final kiss on your forehead, afraid that if he does more, he won’t be able to contain himself.

Satoru wants his first time with you to be special, one that’s not hazy and easy to forget. He doesn’t want it to be a mistake, like what he knows the both of you would agree upon if you talked about it in the morning.

He wanted you to remember, have it engraved in your mind and body for weeks. Satoru wants you to want him as much as he wants you, and he can’t have that in a drunken mistake. 

As you both drifted together in your sleep, he held you close, his arms wrapping snugly around your waist. It was the best sleep he had in ages. 

-.-

Satoru’s fear came true when you pretended like nothing happened the next morning. When he awoke, it feels like last night never happened. Your side of the bed is fixed and the only proof that you were ver there was the ache he felt on his arm, where you were laying.  Sure, he was disappointed but he’s contented with anything you give him. As long as he has you by his side. 

The kiss never left his mind, though.

Not even when you reached third year and you drifted apart from him little by little. His feelings for you remains the same. 

When Satoru is paired up again with you for a mission in the second half of your third year, you seem different from the Y/N he remembers. Particularly because you act like the exact person that he met in your first year.

Only, you look dull.

There are heavy circles under your eyes, your lips are chapped, and you look like you’re barely holding it together. Not to mention the only words that you utter to him are only about the mission. 

He got too busy honing his skills with Suguru, but he would make time for you if only you asked. But it’s like you were gone, everytime he tried to look for you, you were nowhere to be found. It’s like he barely knows you anymore.

You started to ignore him at the beginning of the school year. He noticed that you dyed your hair back to its natural color and whenever he goes.

You became a ghost in a way, and he’s left with the pieces of you that you once had shared with him. Satoru desperately wants to reach you but how can he when you’re always away? He doesn’t see you in your meeting spot anymore, you’re not in your dorm, no one gets close to you. The only time he sees you is during meetings with the higher ups and your clan. 

There’s an ache in his heart that only you can heal. 

So before you can run away from him again, he followed your footsteps until you reached the 7/11 store across the street. So here you are scanning along the shelves of the store, even though he knows you already know what you’re going to buy.  You still haven’t noticed him, which is confusing on his part. You must’ve been so tired. 

Ah, an energy drink and a box of cigarettes. 

Well, maybe you’ve started avoiding him too because of that. You know he’s going to get worried. 

Satoru taps your shoulder, making you yelp. You were about to shout at him but your expression softened when you saw him. “Oh, it’s just you.” 

It’s the first time in months where he actually saw you up close. He misses you so much it actually makes him dizzy.  Satoru stares at you for a few minutes before you poked him. 

“Hello? Earth to Satoru?”

He hasn’t heard you say his name too in a while. It felt like a breath of fresh air 

“You dyed your hair back to its natural color.” He pointed out. 

You hummed in response before going to the drink section once more. He observes you skimming the shelves even though he knows what you’re going to buy.

You’re just passing the time because you’re too anxious to talk to him but you aren’t really good at small talks.   

So he does that for you.

As you mechanically scanned the shelves, your eyes not really registering the array of products before you, Satoru noticed the evident anxiety in your every move. Wanting to bridge the gap between you two, he seized the opportunity to make you smile. 

“ah yes, there’s some items on sale here.” He declared, rubbing his chin with his pointer and thumb comically. 

Your quizzical expression met his as you questioned, “I don’t see any.” 

Undeterred, Satoru held up a familiar item – your favorite coffee – and flashed a grin "Here," he insisted, pointing at the non-existent 'sale' label.

You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's on sale. Look. It says, 'buy one take me.'" He gestured to the imaginary tag with a theatrical flair, his infectious grin inviting you to roll your eyes at him. 

Finally, you gave him a smile and you threw your head back because you’re laughing so hard. “You’re ridiculous, Gojo Satoru.” 

Satoru's heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile, a warmth spreading through him at the sight of your genuine laughter. He likes seeing you smile. He’d do anything to see you smile. Even if it’s making a fool out of himself.

You grabbed his favorite drink and 2 onigiris then you dropped your energy drink. You walked towards the counter with him following closely behind.

After you’ve paid for the food, you led him wordlessly to the back of the convenience store towards the small parking lot and you sat on the ground. 

“Besides, I can’t take you.”  You broke the silence, handing him his coca-cola with a tremulous smile. 

“What do you mean? You’ve already taken me for granted.”  Satoru attempts to joke, but his playful expression dropped when you gave him a sad smile. 

“I’m getting married next year after graduation.” 

Satoru suddenly felt as if the ground had dropped from beneath him. The news struck him like a blow to the chest, leaving him breathless. He chewed on his lip as he took in your confession.

So that’s why you’ve been busy.

That’s why the higher ups paid no mind to all of his minor mishaps. His heart and mind raced, why so soon? Are you really going to let them take away your right to decide who you’ll marry? 

“To who?”  He said quietly, fidgeting with the lid of his soda. 

“Naoya Zenin.” 

A wave of disbelief washed over Satoru’s face. He had only met the guy once but he knows that Zenin is an absolute prick, not to mention a misogynist and a weakling. He even made you cry on a date. But he tried to relax his jaw and stay composed for you. “Do you want to marry him?”

“No.” Your answer was swift, the word laden with a weight he could feel in his bones. 

“Then don’t.” Satoru says firmly. Both of you fell silent for a while, you being defeated with the destiny your clan have paved for you.  

Could he really let you go just like that? To a Zenin asshat nonetheless?

He had always imagined that the two of you would eventually end up together, you have all the time in the world after all. So why does it feel like you’re already slipping out of his arms?  He’s not even sure if you like him, despite what Suguru and Ieri keep telling him. 

His train of thoughts were interrupted when you leaned your head on his shoulder. His arm instinctively finds its way around you, as if shielding you from your clan, from the world.  “I wish it were that simple. Nearly everything I do for my family is never what I want. I simply can’t not do it, Satoru. I need it to keep my clan powerful and relevant. I’m the only daughter of my parents. I have to do my best to make them proud.” 

“Well…” He stammers a little bit when your hand finds a way to play with his hair.  “what about what you want?” 

“Satoru, you know my freedom is limited." You laughed bitterly. “I’m still Y/L/N’s golden child and my clan’s on the brink of exclusion at this point. We’re irrelevant now and I’m not getting any stronger or richer. My family wants to take their place in the Jujutsu World. This is something I can’t escape from anymore even if I’d rather die than to be married to someone like him.” 

“Why Naoya Zenin though?” He’s getting frustrated at this point. Why were you not fighting back? Satoru couldn’t accept that, you relinquishing your freedom for the sake of others. You have already done so much. 

“He’s from a well-off clan and he’s strong.” you replied, a note of bitterness tainting your words. “My dad’s also biased with the Zenin clan so… I’m all set.” 

Well, he’s a Gojo and he is the strongest.  He is the inheritor of the six eyes anyway. Who is Naoya Zenin compared to him?  

“Well then, can you marry someone else that’s also strong?”

You scoffed, your hand leaving his hair before you prompt to fully lean your entire weight on Satoru’s side. “Yeah, but I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. Who else would I mar-” 

It’s now or never. 

“Me.”  Satoru blurted out. 

“What?” 

“Me. you should just marry me instead.” 

Wanna read more?

[lightlycareless]

omgggg, that Toji x reader (*plus* Naoya) was incredibleee, ignore me if you want, I know you made Toji chosing to keep distance from reader and Megumi permanently BUT what if one day he ends up finally seeing Megumi, either personally or by pictures/videos 🥺 We know Megumi it's the spitted image of him, I mean, Gojo's face when he saw him for the first time said it all 😅 And also knowing his baby has the Ten Shadows technique (I cant stop thinking about how proud he was in the canon manga/anime 🥺 he always KNEW from the start Megumi was blessed/gifted, since his first breath, the fact Toji named him is not random) making the entire Zenin clan eat their shit

Heya anon!!

I'm so glad you liked it heheheheheheh a oneshot that I didn't intend to write but it just happened!! aren't we glad it did? lol

I didn't mean to ignore you, I was only focusing on other things first 😅 oof, I still have lots of request to go through, which I plan to do it slowly but surely...

Anyways, I might've not gone down that route, however... why not something angsty? I mean 😏I've had this in my mind so... yeah 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Warnings: mentions of infidelity. Pregnancy. Naoya is, unfortunately, a prick. this is the oneshot anon is talking about. 100% read that first hehe. this is an AU from that, so the second part doesn't count??? I guess. excuse the proofreading. also I haven't written toji that much so please excuse my oocness as well ahahahahha :')

Happy reading!

As much as the three hoped to ignore the bases of your pregnancy, behave as it didn’t rise from an adulterous act, a direct transgression to the principles of the Zen’in, and keep it a secret, it wouldn’t take long before the guilt in each other’s mind began to weight heavy on their mind, ultimately betraying them and revealing the truth to the light, excusing the angered elders to finally get rid of two birds with one stone.

“Where—Where does this accusation even come from?!” You gasp, blood turning cold at the implication—at the notion of the truth. “Do you know the gravity of such words?!”

“Better than you of the act, it seems.” Another accuses. “We were quite aware of the rumors surrounding your ill-fitting behavior, but we never believed it would actually extend to this point!”

“I—I won’t tolerate neither of you disrespecting me!” you cry. “Nor will Naoya for that matter!”

But calling for his aid would no longer prove sufficient, for Naoya, too deep in his own insecurities by that point, had come to the disheartening conclusion that this situation had gotten way out of hand for a simple diversion.

A supposed act of mercy.

He shouldn’t have let this happen in the first place, should’ve respected what you and your marriage represented, what meant to him, and discard his pity for Toji—the man has been alone most of his life, what difference would that make that now?

But he didn’t, he allowed you to go to Toji—no, he handed you over to him, thinking he was doing something right for his cousin, or perhaps something deep inside him was allured by the sick idea of you being with another man and now, he was suffering the consequences.

Consequences he did not like, not one bit—because it got too real for him: you were now pregnant, with Toji’s child, and not his.

And this only highlighted what he considered the pitfalls of this relationship, a strike against his ego and the supposed inability to beget children, a rumor that grew bigger and bigger by each passing day, spreading like wildfire to the point where even outsiders became aware of it.

Which, for a prideful man like Naoya, was only a nightmare.

He loved you, he really did—Naoya never envisioned spending the rest of his life with anyone else…

But he loved his pride more, and when his clan began to actively confront him about it, he couldn’t take it anymore.

And thus….

“…Naoya?”

“This marriage was broken before it even started.” Your husband would say, unexpected words that pierced straight to your heart. “My family advised me well in avoiding you, but I falsely believed I could achieve differently.”

“What—what are you even saying?” you breathe. “What do you mean by—by differently?”

And… where does everything you lived with him stand?

The time you spent with him, the sweet nothings he’d whisper into your ear, to love you both swore to one another, reminding each other that there was no one else that compares…

And that you were the only woman who has ever made him feel this way—loved— and would do everything in the world to make happy…

Was it… all … a lie?

All for… nothing?

Or were you the only one that actually believed the other’s words?

“I cannot look past these transgressions.” Naoya continues. “You’ve left me no choice.”

“But you—you made me do this!” you gasp. “I never—I never wanted to be with anyone else! All this time, my heart only belonged to you!  How could you—how could you abandon me after all we’ve gone through together?!”

Naoya doesn’t say anything else anymore, instead, he simply turns around, exiting the room to leave you in the hands of the vengeful elders who did not hesitate to do what they had long desired—banish you from the estate.

Swiftly yet cruelly, you wouldn’t be able to take anything with you, not even a change of clothes or even money (you didn’t even ask for much, just enough to survive the week) as you were forced to face a new life of your own—alone, pregnant.

Going back to your family was also out of the question; the shame that you’d bring upon their name was one the Zen’in didn’t not waste time to remind them of—at the end, there was only so much your father and siblings could do against the invasive ways of the elders, and perhaps, a part of them deep inside, were also disappointed that you’ve succumbed to such foul thing.

And so, you were tossed onto the street, with nothing more than the clothes you were wearing, whatever you had for savings throughout the years, managed to take it out before either clan could close your account—but most importantly, with a broken heart you believe will never heal, not after the grave wound your husband’s indifference inflicted on it.

The pain you couldn’t even mourn properly due to all the things you had to worry about now.

The first thing you did was search for a place to stay, though getting one was proving to be an almost impossible task.

Thankfully, you were allowed to keep one other thing, maybe it eluded their minds when all this was happening, but you’re not going to question why when it was going to help you pay for a roof.

Naoya’s ring, your wedding ring, was something many would consider expensive, the kind of flashiness expected from a prestigious family like the Zen’in.

You remember a time when any kind of ring would’ve been enough for you to marry him. You didn’t need anything extraordinary to commit your life and heart to him.

That’s nothing but a far cry from what you felt now.

It still hurt to pawn it, but it was the only way you could accommodate yourself and the unborn child inside you, in the only area you could afford with what you got, for even then many suspected that your ring… well, had dubious origins.

When was the last time you even had to worry about the costs of living? Food, clothes, water…?

Many years—it had to; ever since you got together with Naoya, he’s been the one that took care of you.

You just had to say the word and he’d disappear all of your worries—even from the simplest of wants, Naoya indulgingly obliged.

It was a happy life you eventually considered for your child—imagining how happy they’d grow to be without a single worry, solely focusing on what they’ll have to play that day, or how to escape their over doting parents.

A long-gone dream, tossed to the side as a nightmare quickly took its place.

…

Did Naoya ever mean the words I love you?

Or was he doing all this just to keep you there, complying, just in case someone better came along, just like his clan wished would happen?

There mere thought of his devotion being nothing but an act tightens your heart with sorrow once more, gifting you the tragic notion that perhaps, all this time, you never knew your husband…

Maybe ex-husband, by this point.

All that was left from those moments, the slightest semblance of that marriage was this baby, created from what you thought your unconditional devotion to him, turning out to be your very own downfall.

The only one that would know of these struggles would be your baby, the one to accompany you through the darkest point of your life, hopefully to a brigther dawn.

And yet… you’ve never felt so alone.

Time surprisingly, went quicker than you anticipated, though not as easy as you would’ve wanted.

Life in your new home was still very difficult to get used to, even when it’s been months since… that.

But with the job you managed to get (whatever place hired pregnant women—they’re supposed to be at home, some would say, you didn’t care.) and some extra jujutsu work you did on the side, you managed, enough to give you a, not exactly comfortable, but just enough lifestyle.

As long as you sacrificed all the things you once considered granted and turned them into luxuries: such as warm showers, take out, and the sweets you liked to indulge once in a while; your pregnancy has been horrible because of that, and that’s without considering the medical bills you’re struggling to pay as well.

But if that wasn’t enough, your noisy neighbors presented issues of their own as well.

You’re not going to deny that your presence there was like moths to a flame, starting from your somewhat suspicious acquisition—all cash—of the small house you were living in.

From there, your loneliness, alongside your pregnancy; single mothers were unheard of, or rather, highly criticized, thus, all eyes were on you, down to your smallest movement.

Yet, even then, as annoying as they were, you were ok as long as it meant you never get to see those that hurt you ever again.

However, what you want isn’t necessarily what’s going to happen, and that would be reminded of one fateful night with an unsuspecting knock, just after you were getting ready to go to bed.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone came to bother you, but it would be the first time someone did so at this hour, and with such insistence that far from worrying you, it made you angrily storm at the entrance, ready to demand who’d be so inconsiderate enough to visit you so late at night!

And you’d get your answer soon enough, in the most shocking, horrifying, if not sorrowful manner you could’ve possibly anticipated, prompting you to close the door as soon as you saw his face, or attempted to, his reflexes much faster than yours.

“Get—get away from me!” you shrieked, hands trembling as you did your best to hold the door shut against his overwhelming strength— but even your husband has admitted that in terms of power, he excels like no one else.

“Y/N—” he breathes, somewhat amused that you’d been able to hold him off as much as you could, though eventually he was able to break free from your grasp and enter your home, you step away from him soon after.

“What are you even doing here?!” you gasp. “No—that doesn’t matter! I don’t want to see you! I’m not going back!”

“I’m not here to take you back” He quickly responds, eyes falling down to your stomach, making his face soften at the subtle bump evident through your clothes—with this sight, he knows he can’t take you back.

“Then—then why are you here, Toji?”

Perhaps Toji needed to see through his own eyes, what the whispers went on about at the estate regarding your absence.

He wasn’t there when it happened, promised himself to be far away from you as soon as your pregnancy was announced to the estate.

Toji would’ve normally taken this opportunity to act on retribution against his family, rub it on their face that the future of the clan came from him, a low life.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do so when you cheerfully paraded around the halls, happy to finally be forming a family with your beloved husband, even though it wasn’t of his making.

For the first time in his life, he thought himself to be too cruel for having planned such atrocities against the only person that has never been rude with him, always welcoming him with a smile on your face, or at least whatever you permitted when not following Naoya around like a lost puppy.

And the baby… well, he won’t deny that he was glad that his child would have a vastly different life from his—with you as his mother, it couldn’t be any other way.

Or so he believed.

Even when promising to keep away, he still attempted to check in on you, especially now that you were pregnant, whenever he had to go to the estate that is. That day was no be no exception, begrudgingly coming back to see what else he could scam out of his family to ensure his living outside.

Toji’s slyly scanned the hallways for your figure, the briefest indication of such, either through your giggle, staff, or even his cousin’s annoying voice—there were moments where he imagined how delightful it must’ve been to have you by his side, instead of Naoya’s; to be receiver of your laughter instead of that man who clearly didn’t deserve you.

But even if it was with him, he still found comfort in the fact that you were around, there.

Not like now, gone from Naoya’s side.

In fact, you were nowhere to be seen! Not with your staff, not eating by the gardens, or even indulging in one of your husband’s idiocies.

Nothing.

And no one had seen you either.

Or more like didn’t want to say, that much became evident when he stomped his way towards a nearby staff member, demanding your whereabouts, only to be responded with a fret falsely feigning ignorance, or foolish diplomacy.

At the prospect of your disappearance, Toji felt his blood run cold, almost like the estate lost whatever little warmth it had, worsening each time he asked another servant, and he’d get the same answer.

The implications behind your absence were growing heavier in his mind, to the point it sunk his heart to his stomach…

And propelled him to the one person who would undoubtedly know where you were.

“Naoya—Where is Y/N?!” Toji commands the moment he sees the heir, the young man instinctively flinched at the sight of his angered cousin, almost as if he knew what was running through his mind and attempted to make a run for it, only to be stopped by the collar, dead on his tracks. “Do not run away, coward! Answer me!”

“She’s—she’s not here anymore.” Is what Naoya manages to squeak, but Toji doesn’t need to be reminded the obvious.

“Where. Is. She.” He hisses, the worst of his assumptions slowly becoming a reality. “What have you done to her?!”

“What—what needed to be done!” Naoya gasps. “I—I couldn’t allow it!”

Toji doesn’t remember much after Naoya told him that the clan decided she was better off on her own—only that the heir was on the floor, bloodied and whimpering while attempting to cover his face, either trying to control the throbbing of his skin, the blood from spilling anywhere else, or perhaps even shame.

No. It couldn’t be the last. To have done something like what he did required a shameless man to do so.

Nonetheless Toji didn’t bother to find out nor to be reprimanded, quick to assert what needed to be done and heading out the estate; he couldn’t even bother cursing those that had done nothing but the worst after the worst, each time a new low, for his mind solely pertained in finding you.

It took him a while to do so, as expected, but he knew it was only a matter of asking around for a woman that simply didn’t fit to do the job—and such, here he is now.

“I want—needed to see you.” Toji takes a step closer.

“Get—get away from me.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”

“You were fine doing that before—what’s so different from now?” You spat.

“This is different, Y/N. You’re alone—and you need me.”

“I’m not alone—I don’t need you.” You gasp. “Get away from me or I’ll—I’ll call the police!.”

“If you don’t need me, then the baby does.”

It’s like he struck a nerve with his words, because soon after tears would begin to fall down your cheeks, revealing that the sight you attempted to portray, the strength you so fiercely put up against him, was nothing but a façade, a way to hide the fact that indeed, you needed help.

Exhausted from facing all these uncertainties on your own, afraid.

But not anymore, not when Toji was here, more than willing to step in, as seen in the way he swiftly holds you in his arms when he sees you almost faint from distress, attempting to comfort you as you continued to cry.

“Get— get away from me…!” you’d say again, still fighting against his hold. However, he doesn’t fight it, he simply allows you to vent, taking in all the pain and hatred your heart harbored from the moment you were kicked out of the estate. “Don’t touch me!”

“I’m not leaving” Toji insists, he feels you trying to squirm your way out from him, but his strength doesn’t allow it. “You can struggle all you want, but I’m not leaving you on your own—”

“What difference does it make to you? Your family abandoned me to my luck! And even forced my family to do the same!” you breathe, Toji’s eyes widen—he did not know that; his fury for the Zen’in grows, but this is not the time to deal with that. “They don’t care if I die on the street!”

“I know.” He murmurs, holding you tighter against him.

“And I—And I tried my best to—to move on, but I can’t! I can’t do it!” you sob. “I’m so alone, and scared, and—and ashamed! I don’t want to live like this anymore!! I don’t want to die!”

“…I know.”

“Why—why is this happening to me?! All I ever wanted was for—was for Naoya to love me. I never wanted anything else! I never wanted money, I never wanted to hurt anyone either! I just—I just wanted to live a happy life with him, to make him happy!

But then he—he tossed me away, at one thing he didn’t like, he acted like I didn’t even matter! He didn’t even put up a fight to defend me! he just—he just let them hurt me, like what we had was—a lie!

 Did he never—did he even love me?”

Speechless, all Toji could do is continue holding you as you kept on pouring out your feelings, hearing the heart wrenching sound of your sobs that just kept reflecting how wounded you were by Naoya’s betrayal, the transgressions of his family, and the disappointment of yours.

And all because of something you didn’t even suggest in the first place. It was him who made his way into Naoya’s mind, and eventually, it was Naoya who pushed you into it, regardless of what happened later.

He wanted to do it; you know?

He wanted to go back there and murder them for all they’d done against you.

But when he left that place one last time, he promised he would stop thinking about himself, and start doing what is right—what was needed.

If Naoya wasn’t to step up and be a man, then he would.

Toji would gladly throw away his own pride, his own anger and thirst for vengeance, just to see you safe and happy once more.

Things your husband, could simply not—but he… he’d do it in a heartbeat.

“I promise you.” Toji would reassure you once carefully placing you down to the bed after tiring yourself from crying, followed by a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

 “I swear, Y/N— I will not let my family do the same things they’ve done to me to our child. Even if it costs me my life, I will do everything in my power to keep the two of you safe.”

And unlike your husband, he means it.

Yes, a second part is coming :) just gotta put this one out first hehe.

Anyways, it's not exactly what you asked but I think it's going there??? I mean Toji STEPPED UP and was like OK imma take care of my baby mama. also, here Naoya .I. put it where it fits. ugh, can't say we're done with him...

agihajkgksa I'm excited for what's to come, I haven't written this level of angst in a while!! oof!!!

Thank you so much for your patience and for sending this ask :> I'm super happy you've like my oneshot so much!! I hope you'll be able to like this too!!

Take care, and see you soon! ❤️❤️

[scarlet--wiccan]

Are you watching the Agatha show? I don’t have any desire to but I’ve heard some things about them leaning very heavily into the antisemitic and antiromani elements of like, “witch lore” and stuff, that sounds unbelievably vile (in addition to the already horrible things you’ve discussed). Namely Agatha stealing and eating children and Billy having to get in an oven. Are those things that actually happened in the show?

Yeah, I've been watching it. To be clear, I've been pirating it. You couldn't convince me to pay for Disney +, even before the boycott. But because there is a certain degree of ambiguity around some of the characters and adaptational choices, I want to be informed when I talk about the show.

To date, yes, there have been a couple of throwaway jokes about Agatha eating babies. My impression, so far, is that the show is very preoccupied with pop culture depictions of witches and witchcraft, which, as you can imagine, are shallow and frequently veer into racist territory. This is evidenced by several homages and references to other movies, and many facets of the show's worldbuilding. The baby-eating jokes are just another aspect of this. Agatha frequently makes glib asides about witch stereotypes, the history of witch trials, etc-- either playing into those tropes to make herself seem comically sinister, or else dismissing them in a humorously derisive tone. These sort of jokes are a lot less funny when you're aware that many of those tropes are based in racism and antisemitism, and that witch trials are a part of actual history that, in the real world, were less about witchcraft, and more about religious zealotry, racism, and abuse of power.

All of this just feels extra tone deaf in light of the fact that the show features multiple whitewashed Romani and Jewish characters, it's pulling directly from material that talks very openly about that heritage, and it's built on the back of Wanda/Vision, which did the same thing to an even greater degree. You know, it would be one thing if these characters were just taken out context, and that was the end of it, but it's never just that-- these offensive references persist in spite of the erasure. For example, Lupone's character, Lilia, exemplifies the caricature of an eccentric gypsy fortune teller, despite having been rewritten as a white woman from Sicily.

To be clear, I believe that the folkloric concept of witches-- who, in this context, are more often represented as non-human monsters or spirits-- abducting and/or eating children, can and does exist separately from blood libel. But, that trope has also been closely entwined with antisemitism for a very long time, and with Agatha, we have little choice but to read it through that lens.

As for oven thing-- I do think there is a bit of nuance. Part of the show's premise is that the cast has to traverse a series of surreal magical realms. In this case, they're trapped in a house that is rapidly flooding, and an unexpected exit appears when the oven door pops open and reveals a portal they can escape through. The optics aren't great, and my first thought was that they could have just as easily used a cabinet or the fridge. But the oven was deliberately chosen so that Lilia could make an aside about the witch from Hansel & Gretel-- again, the show is obsessed with making these little nods and references. Given the set-up and intention, the oven situation feels more like an unfortunate coincidence than other, much more overt instances of racist and anti-semitic tropes. But because Lilia and maybe-Billy are in the scene, and there is an established precedent, we do have to acknowledge the image it conjures.

[olivsie]

Something I like about epic the musical is that it Gives it's changes to the original text an actual Purpose

( The first couple paragraphs are basically a rant regarding retellings. If you only want to hear about epic Skip to paragraph 4)

1. I am a bit annoyed by the lack of. Understanding as to why RETELLINGS aren't the most historicaly accurate things in the world. Sorry to break this to you, but that's both just how they work and I would guess how they reach success. Ancient Greece is a much different culture than our own, And most of us would be terrified to actually live back then. When you are Trying to create content That is based on ancient Greece And you want it to be successful/ At least reach a wide, and notably, MODERN audience. You're likely going to have to take some creative liberty And change a few things. Don't get me wrong, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE RETELLINGS KNOWING THAT FACT ( Me personally, I'm not the biggest fan of Miller's novels Even though I do like epic) BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE AWARE OF. And because of that I don't think I would ever expect a retelling to be perfectly accurate And I don't. I had interest in mythology LONG before epic the musical But I didn't actually read the Odyssey until getting into epic. I did not expect it To be just like the musical, I knew Odysseus was going to be much more of an asshole, along with other characters. The odyssey and epic are different pieces of media to me And I am not less of a mythology nerd for liking epic ( Though I will admit that sometimes I take tiny little fun facts of mythology And like to think of them in the context of epic, but that's just for fun.)

2. The Only time being a fan of retellings is wrong as if you genuinely believe they are perfectly accurate And refuse to listen to anything else ( Which has definitely happened, And mythology nerds have the right to be annoyed at that)

3. Some people only like to consume real mythology media, Others like both real mythology and retellings, Others only like to engage with retellings (I would hope they have the self-awareness to know It's not real mythology, From what I've seen some do and some don't, Unfortunately)

4. Ok. now on to what the title of this long ass rant says

I like that epic the musical Retells the story, Not only to both cater to modern audience But Also with its OWN purpose of man versus monster.

Obviously, this is not the point of the original text. Mythos Odysseus does not give a single fuck About the stuff that epic odysseus does. I don't know why the creator Decided to rewrite it this way, (If he's ever said why let me know) But I would assume he wanted to make something about the oddessy And this was simply a very creative way to Translate that for modern audience.

I like this because, yes, holy damn. It does have changes from the original text. But it's not JUST changing it. It's changing it with a purpose

It feels reminiscent of some kind of Dramatic play. the way that epic characterizes.

Polites' kind nature is Representative of the Concept of being merciful Represented in his lines such as " This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" /"There is so much guilt inside your heart, So why not replace it?"

While in contrast you have eurylochus with more ruthlessness and cautious nature, this is Found in some of his lines such as "You rely on wit, and people die on it" /"we don't know what's ahead" / "I say we strike first. We don't have time to waste so lets raid the place-" /"Let's just cut our losses, You and I and let's run"

And then you have Odysseus, the man/monster. The first act of this Musical is his internal struggle With what He should be On that scale. And the other characters Represent this struggle in the song monster

" Is the cyclops struck with gilt when he kills, is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend and then Sleep knowing he has done him right?

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs, is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

When a God comes down and makes a Fleet drown Is he scared that he's doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him and now no one dares to piss him off"

He then Applies this to himself

" Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping trojans cause he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile?"

And this marks his turning point of deciding that Ruthlessness It's ultimately worth it if it means Getting home, as aeolus says "The end Always justifies the means"

It's in my opinion, a very creative way to go about retelling a myth. Is it accurate? Absolutely not. For example, circe (From what we know) is not protecting When she turns men into pigs, For all we know, she could just do it because Shits and giggles.

Her character and most others in epic is changed from the original. But it's not ONLY changing for the sake of apeling to the modern Western audience and being successful like Many other retellings. It is also and mainly changing for the sake of influencing the plot that Jorge Rivera herrans crafted For the sake of Retelling epic. It is creative and I enjoy it despite knowing it's not accurate.

[foxymc]

ooh blorbo backstory game for qjaiden? :) (from what i've heard, it's somewhat of a mystery? so i'm curious as to just how much information there is or isn't!)

OKAY HI HELLO STRAP IN

Specifically for her backstory (life before the events of QSMP), I think we're going to need some context by going through some of what happened to her during QSMP. Maybe not entirely, I also just want to talk about that too lol

Jaiden is a bird hybrid. The exact kind of bird she is isn't actually confirmed and it might be possible that it's more than one or she's got other kinds of animal DNA in her. See here and at one point, she changed her shoes to ones that had bear pawprints on the bottom of them. Maybe a hint, maybe just a silly reference to Cucurucho. Who knows! But that is just speculation. The only thing we know for sure is she is a bird hybrid.

Interestingly, she only revealed she even had wings later on because she was just "hiding them under her shirt" before. Metawise, she just didn't have the wings as an item in her inventory before lol. But I definitely find it interesting she was just hiding her wings and thus, the fact that she was a bird hybrid for most of the series.

During the events of the QSMP, a few things happened: The Federation assigned everyone an egg (basically their kid) to take care of along with a partner. Jaiden and Roier raised Bobby together until unfortunately, Bobby died. Jaiden builds an entire house in memory of Bobby and then Cucurucho, a white bear that acts as The Federation's representative, approaches her. Jaiden wants to make sure none of the other eggs die and Cucurucho tells her they might be able to do that if she does a few things for them. So now Jaiden is doing tasks for The Federation which makes some people suspicious of her. Not much comes from the tasks she completes tbh. she just has to collect resources, conquers a dungeon (probably an old Federation base if I remember correctly?), and then there is this timer.

During all these tasks, Jaiden starts to grow close to Cucurucho and even though there are two nearly identical Cucuruchos, she can tell the difference between both of them (One of them is sillier and just less serious than the other)

Now comes basically all we know about her backstory. The thing about Jaiden is that she doesn't remember anything about her life before the island. The only thing we are told about her past is this book that Cucurucho gives her.

(It reads: Years ago, you helped us. Me. We need your help again. Will you accept? :) )

Besides this there isn't really anything concrete to go off of. There are potential clues that could hint at her backstory but at that point, we're just getting into speculation territory. All we really know for sure is she somehow helped Cucurucho in the past. I think this means she worked for The Federation but that isn't necessarily true. We just don't know.

Context for The Federation though is that they appear to be this organization that wants perfection. This is especially interesting because Jaiden is very chaotic at times.

There are rules on the island that The Federation imposes. Long story short, one time Jaiden wanted to get Cucurucho's attention and try to get some information out of him about what was happening on the island at the time. When he doesn't show up, she decides to break the rules just to catch his attention and force him to show up. Except she can't do it. She starts panicking and ends up not breaking the rules which again, she has a tendency to be very chaotic. Breaking a simple rule that The Federation set should not be difficult for her but it was.

Remember how she is a bird hybrid? SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FLY! WHY???

Speaking of that, there's this interesting detail about her wings.

Notice how they're named J0029?

Another bird hybrid's wings are just called 'Crow Damaged Wings' so.... why are Jaiden's wings named like that? Why wouldn't they just be called something generic like 'Wings'?

Anddddd I think that's all I've got. That's everything about her past that we know. At least that's coming to mind right now but I think I've got everything.

Hope this wasn't too hard to follow! Haha

[13eyond13]

Something I think fiction does sometimes is make sex represent the end goal for relationships so often that if two characters sleep together it causes readers to automatically see them as truly in love / that it would solve all problems for the pair to be together forever, even when that isn't necessarily what the narrative is trying to say / depict otherwise.

I am thinking about this because of Guts and Casca... to me they sleep together initially almost as an act of friendship? A way of experimenting with each other and learning about sex, perhaps of distracting themselves from the person they're both more actually into, and of course also because they do care about each other and maybe are attracted to one another on some level, and want to see what it would be like to try to get even closer together. But I think the story also makes it pretty clear that Guts is more emotionally invested in his relationship with Griffith than with Casca, in what you might call a narratively romantic sense... and Casca is shown sort of seeing the futility of her feelings for Griffith and eventually growing apart from him that way pre-Eclipse, even though she still cares for him the most out of everyone she knows (though I don't think he ever feels nearly the same way about her). So getting with Griffith isn't end game for Casca (and she herself eventually realizes that), but I also don't read Casca as a character for whom getting with Guts is the end game character arc-wise, either. I'm not sure Miura even had a concrete end-game character arc in mind for her, to be honest. I feel as though unfortunately she was written mostly as something to be used between Griffith and Guts rather than to end up having her own fully realized narrative journey in the same way that Guts (and maybe also Griffith) will. I want to see her and Guts as friends and at peace more than I want to see them live happily ever after together as a couple, because I feel like that's actually more how they really feel for one another than anything else. Granted, there's a bit of an interesting ironic twist in the story that happens during the Eclipse, where Griffith (unintentionally?) drives Guts and Casca closer together than I think they might have been otherwise with the trauma that he causes them both (even though I think their relationship is probably something he'd be jealous of and read as more romantic than it actually might be and wish to destroy, simply due to his own insecurities and his own possessive feelings for Guts). But I also didn't really read Guts' reactions in the Eclipse scene as Guts being jealous and possessive over Casca in a sexual / romantic sense - I read it more as him feeling empathy for her pain and desire to protect her from harm / from the darker side of Griffith he maybe knew about a bit better than anybody else. I DO care about Guts and Casca's relationship a lot, and find it one of the most emotionally compelling things in the story. But I don't think shipping them together for a happily ever after is really what I'd want for them, nor something that the narrative was actually trying to work towards / suggest to be the best ending for anybody involved? I don't know if I think shipping Guts and Griffith necessarily is either, particularly because of how irredeemably awful Griffith behaved during the Eclipse... but I DO think the story intentionally hinges more around the Griffguts relationship and their emotional journeys / character developments than it does about any other pair/relationship in the series, and that both of them have intense unresolved feelings for each other that come off much more suggestive and stronger than ones of just simply wanting to be friends. And I think all of these characters are pretty explicitly aware of that themselves even in the story as well.

Haha I don't even know what I'm trying to even say here except to work out some of my own thoughts about the main 3 that I care about, I suppose!

[laura1633]

maybe you can do a flip flop for your work “the only one on a list”? it would be super interesting to read charles’ pov and/or his thoughts about max “requesting” him only for his 60th win

Hi anon

thanks so much for the ask, here is a little random bit for how I imagined Charles reacted when he was requested to go to the winners room. It's really rough because its not a full fic or anything but hopefully it gets across some of his feelings 😍

If anyone else wants to send an ask the game is here: Fanfic Ask game. Or feel free to send any asks about anything to do with fan fiction

And here is the fic this relates to: The only one on the list

Charles jumps into a pair of jeans and throws on a top as whoever is at the door of his hotel room knocks again. Louder this time. They are really persistent. It’s actually rather irritating, especially because Charles isn’t expecting anyone. If his location has been leaked online again and he’s besieged by fans he’s not sure he is actually going to be able to maintain his composure.

“Sorry to bother you,” the brunette at the door smiles apologetically, Charles vaguely recognises her but he’s not sure exactly where from, “Max has requested your company in the winner’s room tonight.”

Charles laughs. 

He doesn’t mean to. It’s an involuntary reaction. The sound bellows out of him before he can stop himself. The poor brunette who has been sent to deliver Max’s invite looks a little alarmed. Laughing is probably not the politest of reactions. 

“What would you like me to tell him?”

Charles manages to get his laughter under control but can do little more than stand staring blankly at the representative at his door. 

Max has had sixty other victories. That means sixty previous opportunities to invite Charles to the winners room. Charles can’t help but feel like an after thought. Or perhaps even worse this is some kind of pity invite. 

He shouldn’t be happy about it but for a split second, before pride and rationality hit him, his heart skips and his stomach does a happy little somersault. 

But then he lets his brain take over.

He thinks about all those times he has been left wanting and disappointed. Thinks about all those sleepless nights he has had wondering who Max chose and what they were getting up to. Thinks about how much he has hated himself for wanting someone who didn't want him back.

Unfortunately no matter how much Charles feigns annoyance or impassiveness now he knows deep down that he still wants to say yes. 

He is sixty first choice and he still wants it. 

“There is no obligation to say yes,” the brunette looks like she is getting a little impatient. Impatient or possibly freaked out because Charles is at least aware that he is staring at her strangely as he tries to work out his answer. 

In truth it would be much easier if it were an obligation. If he could pretend that he was being brought there under protest. If he could pretend that he was touching Max and kissing Max and wanting Max because of a contractual obligation. 

But the FIA won’t even give him that. 

He has an out. And he knows that if he wants to retain an ounce of self respect he has to take it. 

It doesn’t stop it hurting though. Max is top of his list. 

Or was. 

Charles doesn’t have a list anymore. 

“Charles, should I give you a little time to think about it?”

Charles lets out a rather ragged sounding breath. It would have been been much easier if Max had never picked him. He’d given up any hope and was getting on with things. He was coping. 

And then - 

“Tell him no,” Charles has never sounded so unsure about anything in his life. It’s the right thing to do though. Perhaps if Max was just some guy he wanted to fuck he would have taken the opportunity. Max is never going to be a one night stand for him though. He is not stupid enough to think they can have a quick fuck and then he can return to normal. 

With Max, it will never be normal. They are not meant to be normal. 

“I will tell him,” the brunette smiles kindly, “and don’t feel bad, it does happen from time to time.” 

Charles manages to force his lips up into a smile but as soon as the door closes and he’s left alone he bursts into tears. 

Whether it’s from heartbreak or frustration he isn’t entirely sure, it's probably a horribly uncomfortable blend of both.

[markantonys]

today's gawynposting topic is: the "gawyn wants to be a hero" fandom narrative

i think it is complete nonsense to believe he still holds this attitude by the second half of the series, and i will fight brandon sanderson himself on it. we all know that sanderson's characterizations should be taken with a grain of salt at best, and at worst dismissed as inaccurate contradictions of jordan's characterizations, and he simply missed the mark on this aspect of gawyn's character. (in my opinion he struggled with the 3 trakand siblings even more than he did with mat, but that's another topic.) and unfortunately, recency bias makes this the general fandom memory of gawyn, even though it contradicts what we saw of him under jordan's pen.

gawyn's actual arc in this regard is more nuanced. to me, he reads as a representation of a young man who's been fed patriotic idealizations of war ever since he was a kid, and maybe at first he's eager to get a taste of real war, but when he actually does, he's given a brutal and immediate awakening as to the true horrors of war. it is nothing like it was told to him growing up, and he doesn't want anything to do with it anymore, but he's already signed up for it and so he has no choice but to keep going.

and that brutal awakening happens aallll the way back in book 4, the tower coup:

Most frightening to Min, with that blood-masked face and half-glazed eyes, with his body tensed almost to quivering and his hand upflung as if he had forgotten it, he never raised his voice or put any emotion into it. He only sounded tired, more tired than she had ever heard anyone sound in her life.

“If anything happens to them,” he said in that expressionless voice, “to Egwene or my sister, I will find you, wherever you hide, and I will make sure the same happens to you.” Abruptly he stalked a dozen paces away and stood with his arms folded, head down as if he could not bear to look at them any longer.

here min is doing what she does best - completely misinterpreting other people's behavior - but to the observant reader, it's obvious that gawyn hasn't turned into some violent, emotionless psychopath all of a sudden. instead, he's incredibly traumatized by what's happened today and has shut down as a coping mechanism. in fact, his behavior here is very very very similar to trauma behavior rand frequently demonstrates. a later line in this scene even describes gawyn as "brittle, ready to shatter at the wrong blow", aka the same analogy used for rand's whole "hardness vs. strength" arc.

as of today, book FOUR, gawyn no longer has any delusions about battle and heroism and glory. for further evidence, let's take a look at some of his reactions to dumai's wells, this time from his own point of view:

Young, as indeed all the Younglings were—many did not need to shave beyond every third day, and a few still only pretended even that—but Jisao wore the silver tower on his collar, marking him a veteran of the fighting when Siuan Sanche was deposed, and scars beneath his clothes from fighting since. He was one of those who could skip the razor most mornings; his dark eyes belonged to a man thirty years older, though. What did his own eyes look like, Gawyn wondered.

the younglings as a whole are meant to represent young men - boys, really - getting indoctrinated with patriotic ideals to make them eager to join up, and ultimately ending up dead or traumatized beyond repair because of it. these are teenage soldiers being manipulated and used by adults & institutions for their own ends, and yet fandom treats them like they're psychopathic monsters who love to murder their own mentors. jordan literally chose to name them the YOUNGLINGS, guys, like, i think he was trying to say something here.

Once he would have felt regret; he had grown up believing that if two men must fight, the duel should proceed honorably and cleanly. More than half a year of battles and skirmishes had taught him better. He put a foot on the Aiel man’s chest and wrenched his blade free. Ungallant, but fast, and in battle, slow was often dead.

Turning his bay with a sigh, he rode back down to see what the butcher’s bill had been this time. That had been his first real lesson as a soldier. You always had to pay the butcher. He had a feeling there would be bigger bills due soon. The world would forget Dumai’s Wells in what was coming.

in both of these passages, we see very clearly that gawyn has long since lost the idealization of war he grew up with. he is very aware of the true cost of war, and the prospect of future battles fills him with grim resignation rather than eagerness at more chances for Glory. he knows by the ACOS prologue that there is no glory to be found in war, only death. but he keeps on going because he feels trapped out of any other path, and because he feels a responsibility to the younglings and to the white tower.

and so sanderson's TOM passage where gawyn muses about how maybe the reason he hates rand so much is because rand gets to be a hero the way gawyn wants to be - total bullshit. as of the coup and certainly as of dumai's wells, gawyn has been thoroughly disabused of any heroic notions and has no interest at all in being a hero or gaining glory. if we think that incorrectly blaming him for morgase's death isn't a good enough reason for gawyn to hate rand for so long, then i can definitely buy that he hates him because in his mind rand is responsible for overturning the world in a way that caused gawyn all this trauma and loss of innocence and that broke his family apart, but i cannot buy that he's jealous of rand for getting to be the big hero despite being a lowly peasant.

that being said, in AMOL gawyn's characterization is more or less back on track, and his stated reason for going after demandred is because it needs to be done for the good of the last battle and he considers himself someone unimportant who can be risked for the task*. the idea that his motive is Wanting To Be A Hero is a fandom invention caused by that wonky OOC scene in TOM which apparently dictated gawyn's entire characterization forever despite 12 previous books of him not being like that.

*on this note, i came across one more line from his ACOS prologue that broke my heart: the inscription on his spyglass from morgase

“From Morgase, Queen of Andor, to her beloved son, Gawyn. May he be a living sword for his sister and Andor.”

a sword for others' use. that's how gawyn sees himself, because his own mother (along with gareth bryne and many others, i'm sure) taught him to see himself that way ever since he was a child. is it any wonder that gawyn is so self-sacrificial in the last battle without stopping to consider how his death might harm others? a sword is only worth anything if it's useful, and no one mourns it if it gets broken in battle.

of course he knows egwene will be hurt by his death because of the bond, but at the same time, he so deeply thinks of himself as disposable and as a sword meant to protect people who are more important than him that when he is put into a situation where he can sacrifice himself for a chance of saving someone more important (activating the rings which will kill him for a chance of helping egwene escape the sharans; going after demandred for a chance of taking out the person doing the most damage to the light's army without needing to risk more important people in the attempt), he's going to take it. he's a LOT like lan and rand in that way, convinced their duty is to die to protect others, but lan and rand got to unlearn that and live, and gawyn never did. and i am tired of people writing him off as a character meant to embody "cautionary tale of a mediocre white man arrogantly assuming he's more capable than he is" because that is so completely not what his character is actually about, and what his character IS actually about is really fucking sad!

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

The C person's dark side

Behind that innocent face, there's a woman who maybe subconsciously, or maybe not so subconsciously, manipulates situations to get what she wants.

Of course, this doesn't diminish Carmy's free will, as I mentioned here. But that's the whole point, she doesn't really respect his free will, she manipulates it or maneuvers around it, she tries to, in some way, control it and cries when she can't. She got her own 💔 in the process but she will continue doing it even now that she knows better, because it's in her nature. It's IC for her.

So we will unfortunately and surely see a lot more of that this upcoming S3. Claire's dark side will be out in the open, this time perhaps it will be more explicit and not so subtle. I'm not sure how it will be played out bc I gave up on trying to figure Storer out, I just let him be and trust him as much as I can, which is not much at this point, tbh...

But back to Claire, that is my main problem with her, not only because in IRL I hate manipulative people, even if they do it unconsciously, even when I know that someone who resorts to manipulations, especially emotional manipulation tactics, is someone deeply insecure and it's usually not their fault, as insecurities are typically rooted in early childhood and you can't hold a child responsible for anything or sometimes are linked to unsolved trauma, which clearly, you can't blame on the person either. But, here's the catch: I'm a person too, hi, hello! I have issues too, etc, and I don't manipulate shit! I respect people's free will to a fault even if it fucking kills me, and usually it does as a matter of fact. But I suck it up and move on like a pro, I just bounce back and heal without trying to manipulate anyone into acting the way I wish they fucking did. And I certainly don't take it out on others. I go to therapy, blow steam up at the gym till I have to pop painkillers to keep functioning, I skip town for a few days and re-connect with nature, I write FF, I journal, I read, I go to my BBF's house, and cry while she feeds me foods I don't even know how to cook, I swim, I walk my dogs, and lay on the floor with them till I feel better and when none of that works, I occasionally go back to boxing, I try not to bc it's not healthy for me. But I NEVER FUCK WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S FREE WILL, I DON'T CONDONE THAT BEHAVIOUR IN OTHERS IRL AND I HATE THAT MY FAVEST TV SHOW GOT RUINED WITH A CHARACTER LIKE THAT, I DON'T WANNA WATCH THAT. I mean, I will, sure, bc IK Sydcarmy is endgame, but I don't wanna.

Claire embodies everything I hate in people, everything I run away from IRL, her character represents all I think is toxic and should be avoided at all costs, all I consider ethically wrong in the most basic aspects of life because what makes us humans is our freedom and IK this sounds dramatic 🙄 but I believe that who doesn't respect our freedom, free will, etc, is trying to rob us from our humanity, sometimes inadvertently, which I think might be her case most of the time, but some other times they do it on purpose. They know what they are doing and do it anyway, they are willing to outsource and pay others to help them, etc. They know they are trying to force an outcome, which in business might be OK, seeing as at work we may find ourselves in these kinda situations more often than not and we don't really have a choice as to whether we put up with them or not, especially if we work in certain industries, however, we are NOT our jobs! When it comes to human relationships this M.O. goes against my whole belief system. Can't do it. Nope. It's not fair and fairness is where I draw the fucking line!!!

And no, I'm not a Sydcarmy soldier because of that, but yes, I'm ALSO a Sydcarmy soldier bc of that, for sure!

But on a deeper level, and this is actually what I hate the most here: I'm mad at Storer, whom I learned to love and hate in equal measure by now. You'll see, he allowed this character to happen. Either he created it or signed off on it if one of his other writers wrote Claire into existence. WHY!?!?! THERE WERE OTHER WAYS TO DO THIS, CHRIS!

I previously mentioned how shady Claire's behavior was from the beginning and how it probably wouldn't have been tolerated or woulda been flagged as a clear 🚩if a man woulda acted that way with a woman. I go over it in my response/rb to this comprehensive (just the way I like it) post by @damnikindadontcare

So summing up, I don't hate C, I hate Storer and what Claire represents. I hate that I will have to continue putting up with her and her dark side for who knows how many more eps, and every time I look at her all of this goes through my head, it kills the whole watching experience for me but if this is the price I have to pay to see Sydcarmy unfold and Claire eventually walk into the sunset defeated and not getting her way, I will pay it. Fuck it!

YOU WON STORER, NOW GIVE ME WHAT I WANT AND NO ONE GETS HURT (it's a song, not a threat, relax).

[stepmarchen]

okay i know that you said you're not the greatest history buff, but i realy wanted to know your take on the Safavid kingdom as a representation of a middle eastern community..? if you've read enough manhwas you probably have seen some stupid stereotypes and it realy sucks. god i feel like i'm bothering you asking this i mean we don't know much about safavid .. you don't have to answer this :D

of course! i'll try my best to speak about it! the floor is also open to anyone who has their own additions!

So. We all know that ASM borrows inspiration from existing territories and conflict from the 1700s all the way up to the late 1800s, right? Well get ready for this.

If we use this same research model, we'll come to find that the Safavid Dynasty also existed in Iran back in the 16th century. Which means we have a direct reference point we can compare the (manhwa) Safavid Kingdom to! (just remember to take it with a few grains of salt. We're dealing with 400+ years of history here!)

In my humble opinion (as someone who isn't part of the middle-eastern community btw), I feel like ASM does a pretty fair job at representing the middle east via Safavid/Pasha Family. The biggest hurdle just comes from the fact we haven't seen much of them yet.

The first thing I noticed was the architecture. During Halima's trip back home to Safavid we get to see ORKA's depiction of the Kingdom. As you can see below, the inspiration behind the Bahjat's Palace is pretty directly linked to the Meidan Emam in Isfahan, a royal mosque from the Safavid Era!

Unfortunately, the establishing shot of the city isn't as easy to compare, with the introduction of modern architecture. But if we look at Yazd, an untouched city in Iran, we can see the traces of inspiration with just a few minor discrepancies: minaret, domed mosques, earthen town houses.

We also get these small fleeting moments that really make the characters feel like they're from another country. For example, Nasir, Ali's escort can be seen wielding a curved sword as opposed to a European broadsword. Later, Nora mentions that it is a shamshir, a type of Persian scimitar.

even these small details really make for great world building. Honestly, I'd love to see these props make a comeback in future scenes. Like can you imagine seeing one of the rugs Ali brought in the Neuschwanstein Castle?

Now to finally get to the part you've probably been waiting for. The clothes.

Unfortunately, I'm not as well versed in royal fashion in the Middle East so I had a hard time identified the style of dress.

When we compare the real Shahs of the Safavid Dynasty, we'll see that their fashion of choice changed greatly over the course of the ruling. I couldn't pinpoint exactly who, when or which specific culture ORKA is referencing here. But we do see some elements from Tahmasp I (feathered turban, ornate belt, embroidered textiles). Please correct me if I've made any errors here. I'm totally not confident in my Middle Eastern fashion history.

But above all else, I really just enjoy how the Pasha family is written and designed. I think we've seen stereotypes in all forms of media where middle easterners are portrayed... not so well.

In ASM, they're just the Pashas. As a foreign kingdom, they pose a threat against the Empire, but they're not evil. The King seems to be as tired with Halima's bullshit as the Empress is with Theo. Even Nasir has his own occasional dialogue, exasperated by Ali's behavior. And if you've read the same comics I have, we're all too familiar with the "dangerous and stoic middle-easterner" stereotype.

IMO, we've seen "foreign" characters in manga/manhwa that are usually boiled down to one of three types: the socially insensitive clowns/perverts, the murderer, or the alien that somehow has white skin and hair. but I personally find it a breath of fresh air how ASM leans full into the concept of darker skinned characters with dark hair and actual rounded personalities.

This shouldn't be such a high bar to reach, but ORKA has one again reached it.

[maniculum]

Bestiaryposting Results: Dikebael

This animal's name is, admittedly, a bit of a "Tirion upon Túna (upon Rye)" situation in that I did not process that there was anything unusual about the name until, shortly after the entry went up, it got a "heh. Dick-ball" reply. (And they weren't alone; at least one of the art posts that's gone up has acknowledged the unfortunate name.) It probably doesn't help that this entry references the animal's testicles.

I can't even go, "well, it's not pronounced like that," because by the orthographical rules of the conlang I used to generate these names, it would be pronounced /dɪ·kɛ·bæ·ɛl/, so the start still pretty much sounds like "dick". I'd say I'll be more careful about that in future, but I scheduled all of these ahead of time and I'm not sure it's worth digging through the queue, so we'll just have to see.

Anyway, for anyone who's not sure what this whole "bestiaryposting" thing is, you can find an explanation and previous posts here: https://maniculum.tumblr.com/bestiaryposting. The entry that people are working from this time is here:

(Also, I just want to remind anyone reading that you're free to join in -- this is not a closed thing, just check out the "maniculum bestiaryposting" tag and sort by latest to see what the current beast is. Felt I should say that since we've had the same group of people for a while and I don't want anyone seeing the same set of usernames each time and thinking this is an exclusive club.)

Anyway, art below the cut in roughly chronological order.

@sweetlyfez (link to post here), acknowledging the lack of physical description in the entry, has opted to just have fun with it and put together this strange chimerical creature. I think the flat little horns on top of its snout are really interesting -- the linked post describes them as functioning like a stone circle to make sure it has the right date for its annual announcements. I have no idea if that would work at all, but it seems like it fits the general logic of the bestiary, and I like it.

@silverhart-makes-art (link to post here) has an interesting explanation in the linked post about how they decided to combine features of various desert-dwelling animals with the basic body plan of a peccary (which is apparently the same animal I know as a "javelina" -- I learn a lot looking stuff up while I write these posts). They then acknowledge that, without the context of all the things they're working in here, it kind of just looks like they've drawn a very large warthog. It's a very good hog, though. Something neat that you might miss if you're just looking at the drawing without the context of the post, for instance, is that it has the same fat-storing tail as a fat-tailed sheep. For more little bonuses like that, check out the linked post.

@cheapsweets (link to post here) has given us a whole herd of critters here. They've also hooked onto the "desert" thing due to the lack of physical description, collected traits from real-world animals that make them successful in a desert biome, and combined them into a new creature. They make me think of jackals, which aren't mentioned in the linked post, and also make me think of donkeys, which (kind of) are. Let's all take a moment to note the baby hiding behind a pile of rocks to the right, watching a smaller animal of some sort. I think it's cute.

CheapSweets also wonders about the significance of March 25th, and I have to say so do I. It's not explained in the text. The symbolism bit does say they call the same number of times during the day and night to represent the devil wanting to make day and night the same, which... what?

@pomrania (link to post here) clarifies that this is a grayscale rendering and that the animal would actually be a sort of dusty tan in a color version. They also went the direction of "this animal lives in the desert, so let's focus on desert adaptations." So we've got the split hooves and nostrils that can close to keep out sand. I particularly like the overhanging lip; it adds a certain charm, I think.

@coolest-capybara (link to post here) has decided that this is an excellent excuse to draw an elephant, since we're short on specific description beyond them living in Africa and being able to make loud noises. As a bonus, this means that the young Dikebael can be conveniently hidden behind the mother's large ears. The other aspects of this illustration relate to Coolest-Capybara having a pretty solid theory as to "why March 25th" -- apparently that's the Feast of the Annunciation, which of course the medieval author would have known. So here we have the Archelephant Gabriel trumpeting at Mary. (Actually it seems like the baby is doing the trumpeting, and it looks adorable doing it.) The linked post describes the medieval artworks that are being referenced in the illustration, so I recommend checking that out.

Anyway, time to check the Aberdeen Bestiary...

... well, we can't, actually. The Aberdeen Bestiary is missing a few folios, and this is on one of those. I got the text from MS Bodley 764, since I have a print translation of that one and it's fairly similar. For the illumination, we're going to go to the digitized Ashmole Bestiary, which is even more similar but I don't have a translation of it.

So this is the onager or wild ass.

Interestingly, it looks pretty much identical to the image of the tame ass on the same page, but to be fair, I don't think I'd be able to distinguish between an onager and a donkey with any reliability. Makes one wonder why they have separate illustrations, though.

And yeah, I have no additional explanation for why... any of the stuff in the entry.