#if yes? thats a bad friend
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person blocked me but i didnt create this blog i already had it created for other discourse probably. anyway me when i have a bad friend and blame it on the sex and not bc they're a bad person
#like. the problem would be the exact same if they were dating instead.#would u be mad that they skipped ur birthday bc they wanted to fuck their partner?#if yes? thats a bad friend#if no? why they sounded like shit anyway but i also didnt read it that much i dont care and my computer is dying bc i write too fast or smt
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ep 43 had me tearing up in a fucking shopping centre ‼️‼️
b+w alt version that I truly couldn't decide if I liked it more . Also I included a lot of thoughts in the tags but they're somewhat incoherent<3
#i dont know what i expected but i was waiting for a friend and too excited to wait until later#malevolent podcast#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#malevolent fanart#grimm art#ep 43#ep 43 left me with a lot of thoughts ... i didnt quite like how much of a recap it felt like at times but that might#be because ive been relistening and like yeah everyone knows that john 🙄 but that's not the case for everyone and with monthly uploads#things get forgotten easily#i find the discussion of “humanity” so interesting because John has shown that without someone that he has forcibly grown to value as an#equal... something he cannot do as the king of yellow as he is superior to all of his realm and presumably stays out of other elder god's#anyway. without that equality and enviroment to grow he fails to reach his goal of compassion and falls onto old ways.#John. The King in Yellow. shown by both times each has found themselves in human form do not just crave power and influence!!!#THEY CRAVE COMMUNITY!!! an endrich being not born or raised with nothing but power and ego#CRAVES COMMUNITY.#His goal of “humanity” is not a selfless goal like John projects - it is ultimately somewhat selfish as he does not want to be alone!!#which makes this desire so much more human#i don't know maybe this is just me spelling out whats already there but the way john and the witch argued about humanity frustrated me#it felt like they were missing the point or that perhaps the “good/evil” “black/white” retoric was already realised by me and john needed#realise it himself . which is fair !!!#i dont know!!!!#the witch was talking about how bad everyone was and how humanity is cruel and john was talking about Lily (#who also frustrates me how shes used in the plot somewhat she was literally just a nurse doing her job bro#) but to John - yes internally he is struggling with his moral greyness and im so proud of him for growing being himself SO PROUD#JUST.!!! he wants community. he needs community. he loves his friend. 'humanity' at its core does not matter as long as you try to be bette#and i think thats awesome and i really enjoyed the episode#guhh im rambling enjoy my tag rambling i dont know i want john to have more friends :(#yorrick can be another friend godd i love you yorrick so silly
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I've said this when Oscar replaced Daniel, when Franco replaced Logan, and when Liam replaced Daniel, and I'll say it again now that it's been officially announced that Liam has the red bull seat:
Drivers are not responsible for the shitty decisions of team principals and the actual decision makers behind the scenes. Don't like the decision? That is absolutely fine, but get mad at the people who actually made the decision. Leave the driver, who took a job, alone.
You'd swear Liam was a freaking cartoon villain right now. I'm pretty sure this who y'all are describing instead of him:

#f1#formula 1#formula one#liam lawson#am i annoyed for yuki? yes#am i going to crucify liam for doing the same thing yuki would've done if their situations were reversed? absolutely not#there's twenty seats this is a highly competitive sport that is very difficult to even get into#there's so many drivers that didn’t make it because of money issues or because of lack of open seats etc#we know some of their stories like a handful but thats primarily as a result to the adjacency to someone currently on the grid#whether it was their friend or teammate etc in the younger categories#unfortunately you have to prioritise yourself to get anywhere near a seat#as bad as i feel for yuki#i don't get why some of you are mad at liam for accepting the seat#did you want him to do that scene from mean girls where cady starts breaking up the tiara and handing it out?#its a nice sentiment but it doesn't work with an f1 seat#if you think a driver should simply step aside for your fav because you believe your fav earned it more... time to find another sport#I'm sorry but thats the cold hard truth#there was also a lot of factors that impacted this decision it wasn't a black and white we like liam more kind of deal#but i digress#not a convo for the tags#in conclusion i like yuki and do feel frustrated for him but for the love of god leave liam alone
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FINISHED LAST 2 EPS OF YURI ON ICE,
ON THE FLOOR
ON MY KNEES
VICTOR KISSING YURI’S HAND WITH THE RING, THE CROWD GOES WILD
THEN YURI ON THE ICE KISSING HIS RING BEFORE HE STARTS PERFORMING HHHH
DIVORCE ARC AR THE END OF THE SECOND TO LAST EP??? VICTOR CRYING BC OF YURI???? NOOOOOOOOO
“I’ll be sure to skate my and Victor’s love, laid bare to the world!” That’s more like it <3
UPDATE NVM IM SO STRESSED AHHHHHH
“I really want to kiss the gold medal” *pans to yuri and victor almost kissing* 🤔 damn straight gay
Not victor refusing to kiss yuri’s silver medal and then leaning super close and asking if he has suggestions…damn king
Did they just make vows again <3 good for them <3
THEYRE SKATING TOGETHER AT THE END AHHHHH
SO THEY'RE MARRIED NOW RIGHT
im so unwell about their tenderness its unparalleled
I NEED MORE CRIES WDYM ITS OVER HHH WHERES THE NEXT SEASON SOB BANGING MY FIST
#blu liveblogs#yuri on ice#yoi ep 11-12#i LOVE how they show their rings like all the time like yes#yes show teh sparkle#show their commitment to each other !!!!#and omg their pre/post performance rituals are so#either heart wrenching /neg or heart wrenching /pos#im so normal abt victor kissing yuri's ring hand like hfjkawnlfkjwf#ALSO. WHEN YURI WAS LIKE VICTOR LETS END THIS I WAS LIKE NOOOO STOP. STOPPPPPPP YOU IDIOT (AFFECTIONATE) STOP !!!!!#THEN VICTOR CRIES SO BAD AND IM LIKE DUDEEEEEEEE#THEN THEY BOTH LOOK SAD HRAWEHLRWJKENFJSKDF#BUT THEN. YURI NAILS HIS FREE SKATE PERFORMANCE HRAJKWENLFWEJKF YES MY KING#also called it i was like hm i really want yuri to win gold but yurio is prob gonna get it at this rate... and yeap#then i was like this is gonna lead to yuri and victor havin some form of gay vows to each other or smth to stay on the ice or smth#AND YES I WAS RIGHT LETS GOOOOO HRJAKWENLFWEF#ALSO THEIR HUGS ARE EVERYTHING THEY GIVE ME LIFE#THE WAY THEY CLUTCH AT EACH OTHER SO TIGHTLY#KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE#already in love but thats besides the point yes FALL DEEPER IN LOVE#also i liked the jj comeback yes u go king#also i loved yuri's character development#look at yuri slaying on the ice now with confidence !!!#so proud of you dude <3#also yurio is such a tsundere lmao damn in the begining i remeber thinkign who is this asshole goddamn#gud character development all around#im going to try and convince one of my friends to watch this cause they always get me to watch stuff#i watched all of rwby this is the least they could do for me <3#its my turn now hehehehe
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is this outfit historically accurate? probably the fuck not. is it practical in any way shape or form? also probably not! but does it serve cunt? YES 😩🙏💅 and that's all that matters!
#oc liveblogging#i feel so bad hakjshkgjhsk if any fashion designer/person who actually knows anything about fashion really saw my designs#they'd beat the absolute shit out of me. LIKE IM SOSRHSHF IM PROBABLY MIXING THINGS THAT WOULDNT MAKE SENSE BUT AHGH IM TRYING#i do reference a lot of shit and i am trying to get better at drawing cloth and such. my friends rly being into cosplay has made me start#thinking abt materials bc a lot of designs dont specify that yeah? and it is cool to think about like is that cotton or polyester or vinyl?#fuckk tho I THINK I BLAME VOCALOID & MONSTER HIGH FOR MY TASTE IN ALT FASHION FOR CHARA DESIGNS. MH ESPECIALLY TBH#being really into doll lines when i was younger in general means a lot of focus on the clothes bc yeah duh thats a main doll selling point?#btuahktjskgslg. fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.#now the problem of all time. my ass who loves to add little details but how many can i add w/o the design getting messy#and not being a pain in the ass to draw every time bc theres sm to do. i love coloring but also at what fucking cost man...#like i loveee lace but ITS SO FUCKING HARD TO DRAW. RUFFLES AND SHIT FGRAHHRHHH fuck u frilly fashions so cute but so hard to draw grrr#also on the historically accurate note grhhHGHAHH im so sorry but WHY IS MENS FASHION SO BORINGGG 😭😭😭#like maybe i need to look more but uGHHH generic suit generic brown suit plsease i need some variety. i know social expectations stuff yes#but ghshkgjsjh PLEASE. im trying im doing more research...
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i don’t talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- no i don’t care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- yes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesn’t mean it hasn’t possibly ruined eloise’s life#- similarly: eloise isn’t (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and she’s probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- pen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesn’t mean that she’s innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao she’s alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like she’s keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didn’t just ignore anything pen said and that’s why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didn’t speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh that’s weird she doesn’t normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasn’t told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasn’t that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i don’t think the queen is going to name her the ‘emerald’ or anything because she’s suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
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Ink: *obsessed with Paa (respectfully)* *ignores Pat when Paa is there* *flirts* *is possessive for her attention*
Pat: THIS is exactly how friends are??? I think about my friend, Pran, in the exact same way??? So fun and friendly! ! !!
Ink: What the fuck?
#how can we ignore Ink's obvious role in Pats obliviousness ????#he saw ink doting over paa and went like ah yes peak friend behaviour !!!#love friends !!!#this is what i want to do for my friend Pran !!#not for korn but thats because korn is a different friend#sir you're both dumbasses in love#okay bye#bad buddy#bad buddy brain rot#patpran#pat napat jindapat#oblivious pat#the queer inabilty to differentiate between platonic and romantic love#with the added spice of being all time rivals#muah#chefs kiss
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ㅤWell, all I can say is.... mana transfer🥵💦💦😵💨
#;ooc#ooc#FNIOUBGIGDUIG yes the sweaty emojis are necesary next question#consensual mana transfer of course#ITS INSANEEEEE-#but considering f.ate's origins; or course you could power your servant like that 🤨#its funny bc its never through blood or saliva; no sir here we get freakier#i mean i would if it was constantin- i mean what#i meant blood of course#IM NOT DOWN BAD FOR MY MUSES IM NOT (iam)#for my muts that arent into f.ate lore; basically u can give ur servant energy by b.anging; through thats not the only way of course#its just that im bringing this method today bc ;; well sunday yes#oh no...!!! m...my servant.... is serving!??!?!🥵💦#TERRRIIIBLEEEEEEEE#metaphysically if our muses have anything or we are close friends; our muses are getting it freaky (?); i was told this by the oracle#(there is no oracle)
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hey can there be more content of gordon being a morally grey character. like yes i love it when hes a cool dad and great person and All Of That. but i feel like some of us didnt watch the same videos? that guy killed so many people and shot his friends so many times etc etc etc. he is Not a good person and i love him like that. if we were to take the whole 'it wasnt a videogame and these characters have a life beyond them and live in a world with morals' view of it all that is. gordon in canon it was a videogame world is a bit more complicated but i still love him like that.
#hlvrai#gordon feetman#hlvrai gordon#morally grey characters#characters who are Bad People are the best actually#and i feel like it makes his and benrys dynamic infinitely more interesting#what with benrys whole “i wasnt bad but you made me BAD” stuff#if you gave these characters a few months or years postcanon to really dwell on what they did and think about everything#all of the hatred would become so much more intense and passionate. but hear me out. thats actually interesting and cool as fuck too.#and thats not to mention that Yes the two of them are the most casual friends in the world. they play videogames together#but they also wholeheartedly believe that they are going to die by eachothers hands oneday#character analysis
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I knew about the post concert depression but no one told me about the post concert constant feeling of AAAAAAAAAHHH that lasts days and makes everything much more bearable and beautiful and some sort of ethereal type of hope is restored into the world, or maybe it's just the "seeing your favourite band after first thinking that it would never happen and later spending many months waiting for it all the while fearing that it wouldn't happen after all because of circumstances outside my control or feeling like it was too beautiful and wonderful to be true so ofc it wouldn't come true" part of it all
#guys i love they might be giants. did you know about this#me days before the show: crying because i will see they might be giants#me days after the show: crying because i saw they might be giants#truth is that i didn't actually full on cry until yesterday evening though so once i was back home so it was all officially over#and it was time to just slow down and realize that oh well wow. so all that just happened. like for realsies#i also finally looked through my videos and my recording of the whole show (yes as an archivist freak who records audio from most concerts#i obviously had to record this one also. now i can listen to it again and again and be remided that i didn't dream it all up after all)#but yeah all this and now i'm supposed to move on and go back to my stupid daily life#like i didn't just have one of those real actual life experiences and moments of pure fun that other people generally get from time to time#and that i haven't had since idk even when a year and a half ago#thats the last time i consider truly amazing on a level somewhat comparable to this. but back to the show and the whole thing.#like this wouldn't have been quite as perfect if i didn't share that time with fellow fans / friends that i ended up attending the show wit#you don't realize how badly you've been wanting to be included in things and for people to be genuinely fond of you and like your company#until you get included and shown that fondness. like wow i'm allowed to have fun too after all. can it happen again someday please. anyway#i'm just glad that in midst of my big bad awful times i could have this truly amazing 10/10 time#and i guess it doesn't have to be the last such time right. even if it's easy to give into the feeling that it is#but ok anyway i'll get to that proper show recap later when i can think clearly again#and maybe more on that more personal side of it all too because well i have many more thoughts obviously#but whether i get to that in 3 days or 3 months is a mystery for now. just kind of a lot to think about once again#and my stupid baka life continues on also whether i like it or not so that has to be taken into consideration as well#time to think again about school that i'm so totally fully failing now with my two weeks long absence yayyy. its fine i'll figure it all out#goosepost
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i was lookin at a few vids about the bg3 dream visitor romance [spoilers if anyone's still early game i guess lol] and like i was so shocked people were, like, so upset and betrayed when they discovered the dream visitor's true form fksdjgkdljf like okay i forgot not every corner of the internet has monsterfuckers and also i guess normies are playing this game. and ALSO it reminded me that the % of players that even have the steam achievement of sleeping w/the emperor at all is so low. 12.7%. why is everyone a coward. i'm not even a self proclaimed monsterfucker. i dont like sex and im mildly phobic of tentacles. WHY IS EVERYONE A COWARD!!!!!
tho to be fair probably a lot of ppl are also romancing a companion and wanna be faithful - ive only gotten to that scene in multiplayer where none of us were in companion romances so it was guilt free go for it see what happens, in the discord call all together LOL..... then we had a lover's spat after the raphael fight 😑
#im p sure you have to become a mindflayer to do his whole romance which i dont wanna but like it's fun to see what happens lol#but also our friend has played further and was heavily biased against the emperor#im like dude no spoilers i wanna make up my mind as we go. im gonna fuck him LOL#3/4 of us did#our friend didnt and then he was like OH WAIT I FORGOT THERES AN ACHIEVEMENT well thats what u get for being a hater i guess#p sure we are going to betray him and break that guy outta there but idk maybe we wont. gotta mix it up see what the vibes are#in the multiplayer game we kinda just let things happen in the moment it's a fun and chaotic time#sometimes we lie. like we lied to raphael. it's fine#and then we tried to lie to the emperor about the fact that we made the deal but i think we rolled bad lol#so he knew and we had to be like IT'S FINE DUDE TRUST ME WHATEVER#anyway my point was i was surprised people werent into his tentacle form i just assumed all sex enjoyers do but#i forgot about the normie allos..........#there was like ONE person in the comments that was like yeah i romance the dream visitor and YES i know 👍#only real person in that comment section i s2g#anyway we havent finished a full playthru yet so idk maybe ill be a hater by the end of it but rn i have fun with him#even tho he was kind of a bitch when we had that latest talk lol he was so shamey about our raphael deal 😒#i think he was mad he couldnt see what we were up to down there like bro give us some space!!!
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Introducing: Amber! Ze/Zir, 27. Does acting as a hobby- previously a volunteer at the stage (before it was torn down), and now does various acting things with a group of friends.
Ze likes the spotlight, and always tries to be supportive to zir friends. (to mixed results at times.) Ze also has a brother named Clay who I also need to show off here sometime lmfao.
#my art#my ocs#club penguin#club penguin ocs#club penguin oc#me when i finally draw smth of an oc thats decent enough to post after three freaking years of meaning to do so 😳😳#yes ze is agender if you couldnt tell from the flag on zir cane lmfao.#this is one of sporks friends from the stage btw.#along with clay and a couple others.#one time ze convinced spork to try to get a girlfriend one halloween and in short: it went Bad(tm).#anyways. amber jumpscare.#oc: amber
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unfortunately for everyone, but especially my bank account, i have very poor self control and just ordered the cha cha cha mixtape on vinyl. did i have 50€ to spend?? absolutely not. this will be a month of pasta and pesto but alas, the käärijä brainrot won today
#käärijä#my best friend and i overhauled my finances last night and cancelled some shit i was paying for so i know i have some fun money next month#so i bought it with a pay later option (yes i know thats bad for my credit score no i don’t care rn)#my two biggest hyper fixations are my vinyls and käärijä atm what was i supposed to do#the adhd is adhding#my brain? exhausting place to be in but at least i’ll have a neon green vinyl in august
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been thinking about them recently
#Rebecca hunt#Rebecca prince#Emma sutton#hollywood u#been thinking about emma's character more#i dont want her to be a cartoon villain#but i do want her to be more bad traits than good#i think she wanted a pet more than a friend#and poor little rebecca who never had a friend and would do anything for a little positive attention was perfect#i think she considers micheal the same to a lesser extent#and by the time she graduated she just didn't care about them anymore because they served their purpose#she doesn't need her “pets” anymore cause now she's an adult with her own money and her own house and her new cool friends#and she taught rebecca a bunch of tricks to get away from her parents#so she sees the “transaction” as being complete#i also think she pressured rebecca into a lot of things#just in a different way#rebecca was more inclined to do things for emma cause thats her friend! shes the coolest! she must know whats best for rebecca#and michael is a naive yes man so he didn't say anything#really want to write emma calling up rebecca after she becomes famous and being like “heyyyy bestie”
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yargh. complicated characters save me complicated characters…
#im thinking about ceroba…#im thinking about how ive seen so many ppl (in ‘hot takes’) call her a bad mother for what she did to kanako#and im thinking about how its. silly to base the entire view of her as a character around one mistake#yes sure a very BIG mistake but still one mistake#i dont know if i would even say shes a bad mom. to do so would require me to make some kind of criteria to actually define#what MAKES a bad person#ive spoken before to a friend about how our concepts of good and bad as a whole r subjective anyway#but thats besides the point#i think ceroba as a interesting character becauseee of her mistakes because of her flaws#i think (er. KNOW) that she was a very caring mother. she loved kanako lots lots lots and did everything in her power to fix that mistake#but that doesnt take away that it still happened#im just rambling at this point. nonsense probably#but i think the reason i dislike the bad mom ceroba takes so much is that its reduction to her character in a way…#and that it cant and shouldnt rlly speak to her characterization before and after. yknow the incident#sorry thats a big mess….. i have thoughts i dont know how to speak them#i could say the same abt the other characters too… how ppl like to equate their whole view of a char#to only a few moments with that char#weve forgotten star tried briefly to take clovers soul </3 but oh well#ok im done jfkdkd this is disorganized
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Me, while manically cleaning my room at 3:27am: I should make several large, life-changing, irreversible decisions.
#so ive been in a bad mental state lately#because of many things. but the biggest being (yes i know ive complained about this in multiple other posts)#that my best friend and my ex gf were fucking. without even asking or telling me. i got no heads up. just figured it out on my own#which sucked and now im not speaking to either of them#and when i first found out i was in a bad place physically too#i had a terrible ear infection that was so fucking painful#and i realized i could concentrate on both things. so i focused on healing#and then i remembered ny family is coming to visit for Christmas#and thats a lot to deal with. so now im focusing on cleaning the apartment. specifically my bedroom#so im manically cleaning at 3:30am while angry and stressed and trying not to focus on this thing that makes me really upset#and in the middle of cleaning ill suddenly think 'should i quit my summer camp job?' or 'should i move states again?'#its not good. but i havent acted on anything#AND in the middle of cleaning i found all of my meds#i havent been taking them for months. but i decided im gonna start taking them again#i have a few refills left but then ill have to find a psychiatrist. i dont want to. but its definitely for the best#im trying to get my life back on track and build and better it#but then something hits me and completely derails everything and makes everything so hard#so anyway im gonna go do some more cleaning and try not to make life-altering decisions. and maybe build a desk#btw i have to get up at 9am to take out my puppy. and at 11:35 i have to get ready for work. again its 3:30am#and im full of manic energy#tomorrow is going to be very bad but at least I'll have a semi-clean room
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