#if y’all have any other opinions or something just message I legit want to know why people characterize them like this

[tempting-andromeda]

Ngl I think a lot of fan headcanons of Javier and Charles are kinda racist

Lemme explain. Like I’ve seen things where Charles is seen as quiet and scary and that’s how he protects himself from his emotions but he’s just…awkward. He’s been on his own for 13 years and he just doesn’t know how to converse properly. And also stop calling him animalistic. It’s weird. Bud just probably doesn’t know how to word his thoughts. Stop making him the most emotionally intelligent person in the group.

AND JAVIER OH MY GOD. He’s awkward. Y’all have the worst fucking racist opinion on him. It’s the worst hispanic seducer stereotype that makes him smooth and horny. He’s bad at going undercover (we see it on the poker mission with the boat. He’s just yelling his lines awkwardly). Like you can have head canons he’s passionate and stuff but just because he upkeeps his appearance doesn’t mean he’s seductive.

[straighttohellbuddy]

World building is the best tbh. I’m forever world building and now I have several worlds to play in and my neurodivergent brain cannot stay still enough to focus on one lmao. SLOWBURN ROMANCES ARE MY LITERAL JAM LIKE PLS!!! I LOVE THEM!! Also!!!! Concepts!!!! Pls share!!!! I love learning about the worlds of my fave fics and I can hands down say right now that this fic will literally shoot to the top of my list of favourites which means you’ll occupy the top three spots. Sorry to hear that ur feeling rough, so am sending u the biggest hug. I’m not okay but I’m taking care of myself today so that I will be 🧡-🐈‍⬛

alsjfsldkjf i have too many worlds TBH, literally one of the best parts of my 2020 was writing for the classic rock fandom and writing one of my good friend’s ocs alongside mine, like there’s so many different worlds that our two characters have now, i’m like 26k deep into a high school au that i need to get back to at some point, and then i wrote a oneshot abt the high school au but they’re adults, and then there’s also the original timeline, and then there’s the present day in the original timeline where they have kids and i probably care too much about people who aren’t real...... hahaha

OKAY OKAY OKAY HERE WE GO I’LL GIVE KIND OF AN OVERVIEW OF THE ALBUMS AND A FEW SONGS BUT IF U WANT ME TO GO IN DEPTH ON ANY OTHER SONG JUST ASK!!!

yes i have a playlist for each, if you wanna hear how i interpret the vibes of the songs. if you interpret them differently, thats awesome!! i’d love to hear y’all’s opinions on them!!

testing one two - the first ep they release, the song titles are mostly themed (fast forward, press play, pause, rewind), but are mostly things y/n has been working on for a while but never got around to finishing, things they are rather proud of. i see you shiver with... is the first song they wrote specifically for the album, and it’s the last song on the EP because it’s a Rocky Horror reference; i see you shiver with...

a n t i c i p a t i o n - first full album!! the vibe is Hopeful But Hesitant it has all the songs from the ep, plus some new ones!! collabs with youtube musicians troye and dodie, and y/n’s label sets up a collab that turns into a genuine friendship. the breakout dance hit is what else is there to say ft. Troye Sivan, which is about not knowing what to make content about when it feels like you’ve already told the world everything. it featured the prechorus and hook

You, know, ev-ery-thing about me / gave it all for free / my life in HD / So, let’s dance, let me see your hips sway / we’re gonna be okay / what else is there to say?

So say that you love me, say that you love me, say that you love me / let’s die hand in hand. / I’ll tell you I love you, tell you I love you, tell you I love you / supply and demand. 

personally, i also conceptually enjoy srs bsns which is a really upbeat song about how they don’t care if people don’t take them seriously because they know in their heart that what they’re doing is good

hyperfocus - 2nd EP, a pretty substantial departure from their usual style, but also happens to quietly be Corpse’s favourite, and is actually y/n’s most polarising, because it has both the Grammy award winning HEARTBURN and the o brother where art thou which was written partially as a joke to capture a fond moment of them and 5SOS dicking around together in a hotel. written while on tour wit 5SOS, im writing the reader as having ADHD (because I have ADHD and i can do what i want), and the backstory is that they’d changed the medication/dosage they were taking, and as it’s their first full tour, they were under a lot of stress and were in a weird place mentally and emotionally, and hyperfocus is the result of that. i’m going through some stuff has HUGE agoraphobic vibes. 

HEARTBURN has the same vibes as Florence + The Machines’ Howl. It’s about being a demon without saying that or directly implying that unless you know demons real well. This is when the pressure for them to confirm their identity got real bad, and it was their way of working through those emotions.

tear in existence in the shape of a person / when i’m seeing clearly i can’t see myself / world can’t swallow what it can’t get it’s teeth into / got everything i wanted but i ain’t got my health

Got heart-burn--- / I’ll tear me apart / I’ll tear you apart / I’ll tear me apart. 

SCREAM gets rereleased as a remixed single featuring Fall Out Boy the following year. It won the MTV music award for best collaboration in 2018. 

In the time between hyperfocus and working on it, Y/N releases several singles, including a cover of Tell Him by The Exciters to be featured in To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. They also take time to sort out their health, do a little bit more YT stuff, and travel internationally to do festivals. 

working on it - is kind of a middle ground between their original stuff, and hyperfocus, like pop-punk meets horror-pop meets whatever you’d classify halsey as. the first three songs were mostly written before the fic starts, so before they’re getting back to YT, but the last three, nightmare scenario, designed to hurt (touch me), and not scared were all written after they’d started hanging out with sykkuno and corpse. 

in-universe, imposter syndrome was originally something else, along the same lines of tired that they’re hiding that they’re a demon, but after meeting corpse nd sykkuno and having people who know, and lowkey being influenced by corpse’s music, the song changes directions, and YO OKAY YO::

I literally am so fucking flattered, my darling friend @bingusmode​ wrote lyrics for imposter syndrome and I’ve been yELLING about them ever since i’ve read them!! (also bunnie is fantastic and lovely in general 10/10)

if you thought you saw me 

i’d think about it twice

cuz while i know i’m naughty

everybody thinks i’m nice

cutest giggles get me

places that i long to be

but it’s not long before

everybody hates me

when you figure out i’m fucked up

you’ll probably think that can’t be right

but babe my image runs to save me

cuz i’m ugly day and night

nothing good about me

not the angel that i seem

cuz i’m a piece of shit

and i’ll ruin your fuckin dreams

i’m an impostor babe

you better run for your life

cuz there’s a bloodlust runnin through me

and you’re dripping off my knife

there’s no one here to save you

cuz you ate up all my lies

so beg me while you can

and draft up all your goodbyes 

if any of y’all are inspired by anything i put out, feel free to take it and run!! you have my blessing!! i am so overwhelmingly flattered by people who like my stuff enough to create because of it, directly or indirectly! lyrics, art, songs, anything!! legit! I love you!!

okay so designed to hurt (touch me) has big House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco vibes, and YES it’s about Corpse. YES it sends mixed messages. YES it has greek myth imagery and YES that imagery is confusing. not sure if any of these sets of lyrics actually go after each other but also idk??

will my fall from grace be graceful / as each move i see you make? / propped up on pedestals side by side / beneath our feet they shake / i’m the only one to hear you ask  / “What have they done to me?” / My boy, your wax throne is sun-drenched / you’ll fall in the name of your legacy.

eyes like yours watched rome burn / while hands like mine lit the pyre / we both heard me say we’d go down in flames / now you’re turning me into a liar / since you smile like that, like you can’t feel the sting / and we both know i can’t feel the fire

been telling myself i’m designed to hurt / but, baby, aren’t we a sight? /

check your reflection, your angles, apollo / you’re icarus in the right light /

we’re on the edge, i’m not scared to fall / we’ll take refuge in the night /

been telling yourself you’re designed to hurt / but, baby, doesn’t this feel right?

also, albumtouralbumtour is a reference to Bohemian Rhapsody.

OKAY AND FINALLY

n o s t a l g i a - the album the reader’s working on during the fic.

literally as i was writing this, bunnie sent through some FIRE lyrics for how the light gets in, (@bingusmode) i am going to be thinking about these on REPEAT for the next MONTH BRUV

little bit of darkness, treat me like a toy 

i got my hopes up and got them destroyed

bitter taste of regret sitting heavy on my tongue

can’t believe i let you convince me that you were the one

sitting here in silence, fabric running thin

petals burning in my lungs and stealing oxygen

embers from a cigarette falling to the floor

god i can’t take anymore

so i stumble to the window and pull the shades

and the moon pours in like you threw a grenade

i can’t understand why

i keep trying

cuz i never seem to win

but having any hope is how the light gets in 

from there, moment before impact ft. Billie Eilish is a club anthem along the lines of bad guy or COPYCAT, bass heavy with a drop that’s out of this world.

powdered pain, i’m in your veins / i’m the sting, the drip, the thing / you’re craving, but you hate to see me misbehaving / i heard my breakdown got you high / it’s true, but baby i can’t lie / i never got that rush, that burn / that makes you feel alive, i had to learn / to pick the slippery slope down which i fell / plan my pitstops on the way to hell / to pick my padding before i spiral / so if i break it’ll be in style

watch my misdirect, now freeze, / notice you can’t see the forest for the trees / you’re so desperate for my demise / but baby, i’ll make you watch me rise.

this is the moment before impact

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i know you hope i’m not okay / you get off on my audio misery

controlled chaos, crash land / take a breath, trust the plan / i need you to know i want it this way / my breakdown won me a grammy

and this is the moment before impact

ur my favourite - interlude ft. sykkuno is probably one of my favourites, it’s just really soft, just a snippet of a conversation between the reader and sykkuno, maybe one of them told a joke and they both just sound real happy and sweet. its nice. it’s a nice moment.

means something is also for sykkuno!! it’s about how good-strange it is to be open and honest with friends, and how they usually aren’t but they’re glad they can be open and honest with him!!

meanwhile, i don’t think about u - interlude ft. CORPSE is a phonecall between corpse & the reader right after they announce they’re going to feature on acting like that, where corpse asks if they do this sort of thing to spite him, to which the reader responds ‘do i consider you when i’m making decisions about my career? no, corpse, actually i don’t think about you at all’ which then directly contrasts the song that ends the album, which is (how it feels to be) beautiful fireworks, which is essentially ‘i know how hard it is to exist like this, to be the centre of attention, to give off light and bring people joy, even when you’re in pain. i’m here for you. i love you.’

okay, i swear im done now, i’ll get back to writing the fic! (also i cannot BELIVE i managed to figure out how to embed those playlists but im so happy) edit: it didn’t actually work when i posted the ask, so anyways im sorry but y’all are abt to be spammed with playlists because i care too much abt this fic

[genderfluidlucifer]

Response to being asked to give  an opinion on Connie’s calout by residentevil-4

(Tw: CSAM, rape fic, incest fic, predatory behavior, racism, ableism, kink mention, nsfw mentions. Minors should probably dni.)

“Connie and I know each other irl and went to school together for 3 years, although they now live in a different state and have cut contact with me. We went to a private therapy school in Manhattan as we're both disabled and were deemed unable to attend public school. Even though we were pretty close, Connie didn't like having photos taken of them, so I don't have any selfies of the two of us; however, these are from our sophomore and senior yearbooks which at least confirms that we were in the same year at school. People who have seen Connie's selfies should be able to confirm that that is what they look like. First and foremost, Connie is not TMA. They are intersex and the two of us have discussed intersex issues both in person and online, but they are still decidedly CAFAB.” Ok so first off, I want to address this part of the callout. To be honest...was it really necessary to literally doxx Connie ehre? Because this textbook definition of doxxing. Yes Connie’s done some shitty things but I freally don’t think that what they’ve done warrants this level of doxxing. Or...even better, any doxxing. This feels like a really unnecessary breach of privacy, revealing sensitive information on Connie’s childhood that they choose to confide in you with. I really don’t agree with this aspect of the callout as it feels very invasive and bordering on stalkerish.  Btw when I say bordering on stalkerish I’m not directly calling you a stalker Bonnie. Just so we’re clear. I am not defending Connie supposedly faking being TMA. Because faking being TMA is a very serious issue. HOWEVER since I don’t know Connie irl and to be quite frank it’s none of my business what the nature of their agab is. Were not close and I’m certainly not going to like lead Connie onto thinking we’re friends just to confirm this with them because that would be creepy. So to be honest I’m going to take this part of the callout with again of salt for now.

[ID: A cropped screenshot of a numbered list Connie posted to their blog hadrosaurs in response to an ask. 

“3. I’m TMA And that’s completely irrelevant. I’m not accusing them because of their gender I didn’t even know their gender when they said that to me saying that they said that because they fucking said that and the reaction to it was incredibly alarming. Don’t fucking say that stuff to people.]

I mean I”m not a trans woman so take this with a grain of salt if you want but...I don’t see how this is really proof of Connie being deliberately transmisogynistic? Yes Connie gives iffy retellings of mistakes they’ve made in the past. I’ve seen that on their blog before and I won’t pretend it doesn’t happen. BUT here they sound genuine enough and to be honest a growing issue I’ve seen with callouts as of late is. A person confirms they in fact did not do the thing they were called out for. And then the people who make the callout choose to see it as proof of incriminating behavior anyways. To be honest it’s a big problem and it’s also incredibly unfair to the person being called out. If you’re so determined at that point to see the person as bigoted no matter what they say then of course anything they say can be seen as proof. So I’m going to have to pass on this bit of evidence. “Connie responded: “Final note: I have spoken extensively with several trans women about using TMA to describe myself. I will not be getting into discourse about that on this blog again. All that leads to is people demanding my medical records and calling me slurs. If you wanna have a thoughtful conversation about it direct message me cause it’s not happening again here.” Again this really doesn’t seem all that self incriminating. Connie mentions here that they’ve talked to rl trans woman about whether or not they can be considered TMA. Connie really doesn’t have to disclose that personal information to people for any reason. Yes even when people are e including this ask response in a callout. And considering lots of people DO get invasive about Connie’s medical history ans general personal life over matters like this? I feel their reaction is pretty understandable here. “Connie has constantly compared “exclusionists” (or anyone, really) to TERFs, even when the people in question are not transmisogynistic, trans exclusionary radfems, or are even transmisogyny affected themselves.

“ Gonna have to disagree with this part of the callout too. Lots of ace inclus blogs, even some run by trans women , have proven that the ace exclus movement was started by swerfs/terfs. But the blog that has the most evidence for this is courteousmingler on tumblr. I suggest you check out that blog’s archiving of the history of ace exclus rhetoric before rushing to call me a transmisogynist for disagreeing with this part of the callout. I looked through all of the evidence for Connie being racist and tbh as a black ndn it all feels incredibly flimsy. It’d be one thing if Connie was using their experiences to derail and invalidate the discussions about how black people are oppressed But they weren’t doing that there at all. This part of the post feels incredibly biased. And like OP is looking for things to be mad about. Going to have to pass on this list of evidence. Also uh I seem to recall that residentevil04 got called out for some questionable behavior as well. “Both me (insepsy, hi) and ezrat have had really weird spikes in activity on our Statcounters, both on the same day. (Saturday, 4/17/21) For both of us, majority of the pages looked at by these visitors have been related to or about Connie, or have been posts that Connie would find "problematic" such as the f slur untagged or something related to "panphobia"/aphobia. I’m sorry but...none of the proof of cyberstalking holds any water. Visiting someone’s blogs and rbing posts to disagree with them is not cyberstalking. Keeping tabs on urls that an abusive person who has harassed are using so you can block them (in this case with kyoshi) and warn your mutuals is not stalking. As a victim of rl stalking it’s...really weird to call this legit stalking at all. Much less claim that you have damning proof of it being stalking when no such evidence exists in the callout. Besides after Connie and nonbinarydave called out one of kyoshi’s buddies for sending a death threat hate anon to nonbinarydave’s toddler st4lker partly admitted to doing it a few times. Then other mutuals in kyoshi’s toxic social circle clearly began joining in. Making side accounts where they tried to spin a false narrative of nonbinarydave’s daughter being one of their alters (ableist as hell.) And also trying to do it in such a way that they thought would trigger nonibnarydave’s psychosis (also ableist as hell.) If you’re going to drag Connie for their mistakes and never let them move on from those mistakes then it’s only fair to do that to people you agree with who also do toxic/bigoted things. ALso the fact that your wording here suggests that you think panphobia and aphobia aren’t real makes me doubt this claim even more. Exclus and their allies are notorious for mislabeling inclus disagreeing with them as stalking. “connie said that they would release that info at a later time and the minor began to argue with them that they had a responsibility regardless of their complicated relationship with age. in this argument connie for a time kept their age ambiguous and at one point told the minor (who confirmed in a later ask that they were severely traumatized by adults) that they obviously weren’t traumatized. connie quickly deleted this ask and any mentions of it and the next post they reblogged was about how wrong it was to try and quantify or discount others’ trauma. on my old blog i @ed them in the replies and asked if they had just done that. connie admitted to it and said it was fucked up but quickly blocked + deleted my comment. i can’t remember whether or not connie apologized to the minor, they may have? but yeah. i thought that was pretty weird.”] I do agree with some of the concern here that adults shouldn’t over expose minors in discourse. I’ve been contemplating this for awhile myself. And trying to figure out how to take better steps to avoid including minors who are triggered by discourse in discourse, especially. HOWEVER I have one little issue with this addition to the callout. If that is the case then exclus and their allies need to practice this as well. You cannot ignore the fact that the reason a lot of minors are getting involved in exclus discourse is due to adult exclus and their allies forcing minors to pick a side in the discourse. Y’all are not at all exempt from this problem. I still remember an ex mutual of mine trying to convince a minor to agree that aces can’t face corrective rape. And based on how aggressive it got with me when I tried to avoid giving an opinion on the matter, I can’t imagine that it would’ve reacted better to the minor refusing to give an opinion or to the minor outright disagreed. Refusing to put these standards on exclus and their allies is both hypocritical and quite frankly very transparent. The claims about them glorifying dark topics on AO3 through their fics also seems unfortunately legit. I mean those asks of shaming people who ask their viewers to not romanticize or glorify abusive relationships in their works is very damning. I’m very disappointed to see that Connie has taken being an inclus to the point of validating antis anti culture wholeheartedly. I can’t think of much more to add to my opinion on that part of the callout. As for the issue of Connie interacting with pro shippers in the past, I do know that this claim is legit. I’ve seen it before and so has Breeze. This was why for a brief time we decided to stop following their blogs. Because it was triggering to have pro shippers put on our dash. And sometimes we just don’t feel it’s worth it to always let people we’re platforming know they’re rbing triggering stuff. So sometimes we just quietly unfollow and choose to not interact until we’re sure they’re filtering what they do and don’t rb in some way. I definitely don’t agree with that behavior. And if they’re still doing that I”ll deplatform again. “The anon asks: “A weird question but do you know any other stimboard blogs with your follow criteria? (No radfems, racists, fandom antis, etc.) I was hoping to find more through your “similar blogs” but a lot have no anti-antis for their DNI or allow truscum/transmeds and exclus. :(“

The user responds: “I know of @turtle-pond-stims, @outofangband, and @kinaesthetics! 🍂🍄" “[ID: A cropped screenshot of an ask sent by Connie from their now-deactivated blog, butch-with-a-tortoise.

Connie says: “hey anon I have safe stim blogs. dm me if you want them. And radfems/bigots aren’t allowed to interact. For my own safety (because the community is honestly terrifying) I can’t publicly say on my blogs that I’m safe for proshippers/kinky people but I try to spread word how I can.”] [ID: Screenshot of a post by evilwriter37, which reads, “I’ve been seeing posts about fandom police leaving ao3, and it’s like: Good. We don’t want you here anyway. Go find your own fanfiction site.”

The post is tagged “#Fandom #AO3 #Antis #Purity Culture” and has 87 notes. It was posted on December 21st, 2020.

There is a reply from main-to-outofangband-andothers saying: “there are Silm antis on that site who are against Russigon (Maedhros and Fingon) not because they’re cousins but because they’re both male (coded)”] [ID: A screenshot of an anonymous (though signed off as being from outofangband) ask sent to evilwriter37, which says, “Melkor and Viggo solidarity is ‘Look there’s nothing wrong with keeping my enemy chained up in my personal chambers at all times so please just focus on the war efforts and I’ll focus on the boy* in my chambers’ -@outofbangand.

*boy used figuratively @ antis”

The user responds: “Pfft!!! Hahaha! You’re absolutely right! (And Viggo does refer to Hiccup in canon as ‘my boy’).”] I can’t really say anything to refute this. Because these are all posts of Connie outright stating that they disagree with antis. And not only sympathize with anti antis but are fully against antis. Looks like very damning evidence. Although ngl I’m not entirely against kinky blogs as a whole? Just so long as they truly stay in their lane with their kink content. And don’t force it on others in any way. Or shame people who are triggered by their kinks. It is true that being entirely against kinky blogs no matter what is dipping your toes into swerf rhetoric. Tbh I’m not going to look at the rest. This is pretty much all I need to make a decision on whether or not I”ll continue platforming Connie. Though I will try to get some more  perspective from people who I interact with as well. Because I feel better about making a more definitive decision after doing that. Also in general please don’t not try to get an opinion from me on how I feel about syscourse. A lot of the claims about Connie’s age weirdness and them using their alters as a shield feel like syscourse to me. Especially if this callout was written by one or several singlets. Singlets should never be trying to judge how legit someone’s system is ever. Even if their system friends encourage them to. You can call out a horrible person with a system without trying to insinuate that they’re lying about their alters in some way. Doing otherwise is ableist ESPECIALLY if you’re a singlet. Also in general the reason I stay out of discussions of judging how someone is handling their systems is because it’s syscourse and syscourse is triggering for my system and I. If this post was an attempt to get me to give an opinion  on the validity of Connie’s system I don’t appreciate it. And I would appreciate not being dragged into such matters again, thank you.

In general there’s like a few parts of this callout that feel legit. Which is unfortunately cluttered with obvious bias and obsessive hatred of Connie. I’m not here to stan or coddle Connie. I know they are not a perfect person. Especially since no human being in the world is perfect. But I feel the way this callout was created was very sloppy since a lot of the evidence was messy at best. And some points were very hypocritical as well as there being some no true scotsman moments from OP. In acting like exclus never do any of the thing that they tried to call out Connie for. Which is behavior that I am not a fan of. This is why people need to be more careful about callouts and like make roughdrafts and have a more unbiased person helping them if they don’t feel they can do it on their own. I’m even trying to make a resolve to do better at that myself. So it’s not like I’m unwilling to put my money where my mouth is. Anyways those are all my thoughts on this messy callout. And tbh I’m not going to get too much more heavily involved in this. Because I need to focus on more immediately serious rl stuff more often, like doing what I can to get out of the hellish landscape of a house I currently am stuck in.

[rainkilled]

Okay so...I haven’t hit a huge milestone. I have 171 followers, so I guess you could call it a 150 milestone because i didn’t do anything for that. But honestly its like....I just have been feeling lately like I want to talk and gush about some people who really deserve it, and I was searching for a “reason.” Today I decided two things. First, I wanna do it before I take my hiatus and second, why do I even need a reason anyways? So without further ado: Y’all this is going to be long. 

@waldenborn - Is anyone surprised that this list starts with Lilly? My best friend on this website and my partner in crime and angst and fluff. The truth is, I’m not sure who Peter would be if it wasn’t for Lilly. I have explored him so vastly with her help, that he’s taken on his own mind some days. She’s always, always there to listen to me cry about headcanons and to swap pictures with me of our muses. She’s always open to any writing, with any muse, and I adore all of hers, so the writing potential is truly endless. I love my Lilly pad so much it’s completely unreal. She’s one of the most good hearted people I have met in all my years on tumblr.  @seesgood - Can we please just talk about the absolute ray of light in the rpc that is Lia? This girl spreads so much positivity, and it all comes from her own heart. She shares warm messages with people and genuinely cares that they feel better. She sends positivity when SHE is sad, and feels better because she did good? Lia is the angel that we should all be trying to be on most days. And what gets me is how legit she it as a person. She’s not afraid to say “Hey, ray of sunshine people get sad too.” and that’s such an important quality to have. She listens to me rant and rage about real life, and about rp, and never judges me. She’s always a calm objective opinion, reminding me to see the light.  @wcndcrs - Lor is, by far, one of the most cherished writing partners that I have ever had. She’s a fierce friend, honest and real and full of a fire that I don’t even know how to describe. Of all the people I’ve met on tumblr, Lor is one of those people who I feel like.....Is just as honest online as she is in person. That’s the vibe. My FAVORITE thing about Lor is that I always feel like I can talk to her and she’ll be honest. Not just tell me what I want to hear. That’s such a rare quality to find in someone on tumblr when the whole rpc is worried about offending each other. And as for writing? I’ve said it before, but no one pushes me the way Lor and her muses do. No one makes me explore things like she does, and I LOVE the way that knowing her has helped me grow as a writer.  @foxofthe100 - Britt is another person who is fierce, and loyal, and real. Her friendship has been a staple for me for a long time. Her energy, her excitement, her passion is always so contagious that it draws you in and amps you up. Next thing you know, hours have gone by and your muse is as captivated by hers as you are by her. Every verse we have is something different, every pair we write, be them a ship or a friendship, has an element that makes them special. I love the way Britt writes such different muses. Vastly, truly different to the core, and does them all so beautifully that I end up stalking her multi for an hour reading headcanons. Don’t judge me, if you’re friends with britt, you’ve done it too, I know it. 

@ontcri - SUN, is the most down to earth person that I know. She’s been through so much shit on this website and she never lets people get to her. Sure, maybe for a minute, but never for long. She takes control of her own blog, she controls who she writes with, who follows her, what she writes, and she never apologizes for that fact that her blog is HER blog. She stands up for what she believes in, she defends her friends as fiercely as she would defend herself, and I really just feel lucky all the time to know her. There was a time when I like...quietly hid in my corner and wondered what being Sun’s friend would be like and now here I am and let me tell you, it’s awesome.

@ragingicarus - Sammie is one of the most kind hearted and loving people. She’s constantly lifting my spirits, reaching out to me when I’m struggling, spreading love. Every time she messages me, my face lights up because I know that whatever she says, it’s going to make me happy. She sends me gif sets that break my heart and follows it with fluff to pretend like she isn’t the angst queen, breaking my heart on purpose so she can swoop in with some band aids. Honestly, this girl has been such a life line for me the past few months. And while I’m at it, lets just give a shout out to @kolhearted for telling sammie to be my friend because lets face it, Ellie saved my life. I’m not even surprised. 

@surviivorforged -- I just want to take this opportunity to remind Faith that I thought she hated me for like 6 months of my life. And Look at us now, bitch <3 Honestly, Faith has been a pretty new writing partner but what I love about her is that she’s down for anything. She wrote/writes with my Maya, despite the fact that Maya’s muse pops in like once every two months for like 15 minutes if I’m lucky. And when I picked up Jasper, she was the very first one to throw herself all in at me. And A beautiful, tragic, disastrous plot has blossomed from it. I love how casual talking to her feels, like I’m not afraid to make jokes and be spontaneous. 

@tostxyalive- MY BABE. Honestly, this girl is the love of my life you guys. We understand each other on such a personal level that it’s hard to even explain it. But our college majors were/are the same, and we live 45 minutes apart, and like......we just...know each other. In a way that’s hard to explain about internet friends. But there’s NOTHING I would not say to Cassie. When it comes to people who get to hear the honest, blunt, dgaf side of me, Cassie is very very high on the list. Because I know I’m going to get the same from her. And in character?? We can have 500 threads and start more, because we are comfortable enough with each other to drop things and I value that so much.  ALSO VERY IMPORTANT @prcphesiied - because tiger is truly loyal as fuck and has actively written with every single muse that I have written.  @atonedhero - Because Lux is literally my idol and I wanna be just like her when I grow up.  @atombuiilt - because someday elise will come back from war and I will cry real tears.  @imthelcstprincess - because Lissa is as sweet punz is and its actually not fair to be the personification of a rainbow but here’s lissa, existing.  @southsidelover - Z is the coolest. The most rad. I love ONE Z, and I love toni with my whole heart.  @tragitor - I cant leave Lexi out of these things ever because even though she’’s been on hiatus, I still think the sun shines out of here ass most days.  @notrxcketscience -- I just fucking love my twin, okay?

[big12pickparty]

Week 14 Big 12 Picks: Bedlam Edition

It’s Bedlam, y’all. This picture is from the 1985 game, known as the Ice Bowl. OU blanked the Pokes 12-0 that year. I did not yet exist. My Grandpa, Jim Knapp, had led Smithville High School to its first ever state title earlier that year. Until I went to college in Seattle in 2008, I watched Bedlam every year with him, and every chance I got--which was just 2001 and 2002--I rubbed as much salt in the wound as I could. This year I get to watch Bedlam with my dad for the first time (if I’m not mistaken) since the 2012 game, when I’d returned to Oklahoma to do my master’s degree at OSU. Grandpa was present for that game, too. That one was an all-timer. I think he was pleased.The Sooners won it 51-48 in OT.

My Grandpa loved the Sooners so much he painted his house a Sooner-shade of crimson. When my dad went to play baseball for Gary Ward, my grandpa painted the support poles holding up his balcony OSU orange.

This year’s game will be just the second Bedlam since he died. If the Pokes manage to win this one, I’m gonna do my best to send a message to him in the beyond: HEY GRANDPA. LOOK. LOOK REAL CLOSE.

I don’t think he’d mind.

Last week: 4-1 (.800)

Overall: 47-25 (.652)

FRIDAY:

Texas Tech 28, Texas 27. It feels like Bevo’s been butchered and deposited in the old freezer already, doesn’t it? I thought Texas would have more than a fighting chance against Baylor--even erroneously picked them to upset the Bears--but Texas looked dead on arrival for most of the afternoon. Tech, on the other hand, couldn’t quite get the better of K-State, falling 30-27, courtesy of a 100-yard kick return by KSU’s Joshua Youngblood. Though 4-7, and losers of 5 of their 6 games, Texas Tech hasn’t lost by than 10, and their average margin of loss has been a mere 4.2 points. So this is a team playing tough, but not quite getting there. Margins have been thin in this series, too, of late, as the last four games have been decided by 8 points or less, with Tech winning the last two in Austin.

West Virginia 13, TCU 17. TCU was one horrendous spot short of getting the ball back with about a minute to play in their 24-28 loss to OU last week. It really was one of the worst spots I’ve ever seen in a football game.

SATURDAY

No. 23 Iowa State 27, Kansas State 30. The 102nd game in a series played every year since 1917 finds these two teams perfectly matched. I expect nothing less than a hard fought battle decided in the final minutes. Despite the Wildcats having won 24 of the past 29 Farmageddons, including 10 of the past 11, Iowa State owns a narrow edge at 50-48-4.

No. 9 Baylor 38, Kansas 6. The only sure bet I’ve got this week. Baylor hasn’t lost to Kansas since a fellow named Todd Reesing was under center in Lawrence. Probably won’t this week, either, even though the Jayhawks gave ISU a run for their money in Ames.

BEDLAM. Last year, when folks thought the Sooners were gonna beat the Cowboys by something like a million points, I waited until Friday of Bedlam week and snagged myself a nosebleed ticket at Gaylord Memorial. I’d never watched a game at the so-called Palace on the Prairie. Even if I’ve always felt as if it were the locus of all my lifelong football-related misery, I’d always wanted to take in a Bedlam there, got my chance, wore orange, loaded a little whiskey into a coke bottle, and headed for Norman. It was a fantastic time. Didn’t hurt that the Pokes scared the shit out of the homecrowd. By the end of the night, when Corndog’s 2-pt. conversion pass fell to the turf, I didn’t mind. I’d had such a good time I could barely believe myself. Maybe it’s just that I’m such a deeply contrary person that it was simply fun watching all these people whose colors I hate enter into such a heightened state of anxiety that many of them seemed almost ready to shit themselves. Maybe it was that gorgeous and crisp November light that fell into the stadium just before kickoff and into the first quarter. Or the sunset I watched from the upper deck. I don’t know. It was a thrilling night, even I did get so cold by the end that my teeth were almost chattering and the Pokes lost and it took me over an hour just to pull out of the parking lot I’d used (my opinion of the Norman traffic police is far lower than that of my opinion of their football team, I’ll say that much).

Thus far, my record picking OU’s games this year is 10-1 (I missed the K-State game like everybody else). Picking OSU, I’m 7-4. That mid-point of the Pokes season was pretty tough to get a bead on. But all the evidence is on the table now. OU’s defense has come on strong over the past six quarters of play. OSU’s has turned into one of the conference’s best in the past four games. The main factor here, to me, will be turnovers. The Pokes have produced 10 over their 4-game win streak, with 9 interceptions. Jalen Hurts, on the other hand, has either thrown interceptions or put the ball on the ground 6 times in his last 3 outings. He’s a damn good player, but has looked increasingly sloppy with the ball. That ain’t gonna work against an OSU defense that has been increasingly adept at takeaways, with a safety in Kolby Harvell-Peel that has spent the entire last half of the season playing like an All-American. OSU, on the other hand, is working with one mostly unknown entity in Dru Brown, and one very widely known one in Chuba Hubbard, who only needs 168 rushing yards to break 2,000 on the year.

Turnovers will be the difference, I think. OU has been playing with fire, so much so that these Sooners have reminded me--more than any other squad--of OSU’s so-called ‘Cardiac Cowboy’ teams from 2015-2017. All those Mason Rudolph-led squads that won close game after close game but could never get over the hump in Bedlam. OSU, on the other hand, looks to me like a team playing with a kind of quiet and muscular resolve that is honestly not a very familiar look for the Cowboys. After the last four games, it seems real enough.

Plus, the Pokes are due. I mean, the Pokes have been pretty much due for the entire past century in this game, maybe ever since that first icy debacle at Island Park in Guthrie on 6 November 1904. But I think things are aligned for this Bedlam well as they’ve been for the Pokes in the past five or six years: the Cowboys defense is formidable, they have a legit Heisman contender in Chuba Hubbard, and though hugely talented and well-coached, the Sooners look iffier top-to-bottom than they have since 2014. I think Hurts gets the Sooners out front early, but finally turns it over once-too-many times, Dru Brown is proficient, Hubbard gets his yards, and a final OU drive stalls on the OSU 35 near the west end-zone. No turkey legs are tossed by the homecrowd.

Maybe it’s just a fantasy. A bit like sending a message to the beyond. But these things always are.

No. 7 Oklahoma 24, No. 21 Oklahoma State 30.

GO POKES.

[the-lightning-dodger]

Hello transmen of tumblr!

Today I’m going to give you my ultimate guide on how to STP (stand to pee). Not being able to stand to pee has been a major source of dysphoria since I was a kid, so as soon as I learned that STP devices existed, I got one. I’ve tried a bazillion different devices, some bought and some homemade. I decided I should share this information, so hopefully y’all can feel more comfortable in the men’s room.

We’ll go in chronological order I suppose.

First thing I tried was the classic medicine spoon. The medicine spoon is, to my knowledge, one of the most well-known STP methods. Here’s a picture of mine:

It’s pretty easy and (probably) free. First, you acquire a medicine spoon. You can get them for free at CVS or Walgreens or whatever pharmacy is near you - just ask the pharmacists nicely and they’ll hand you one, no questions asked. Then you cut off the tip off with scissors or a knife (just warning you, it takes forever) and tada! You have your very own STP. To use it, you line up your anatomy with the “spoon” end (the wider end) and stick the tip end out your fly or whatever.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, my anatomy simply doesn’t work with the medicine spoon. No matter how much I practiced, I leaked every. damn. time. So if you find that you’re still unable to use an STP device after a bunch of practice, don’t despair! It just means you need to find a device that, like, lines up with your anatomy better or something.

Take two, I ordered a P-Style. Unfortunately I lost it, so I don’t have pictures of mine, but I’ll pull one up from google. (I still wonder who found my P-Style, and if they figured out what it was. Awkward.) Anyway, here’s a stock picture:

This one worked super well for me. And it was awesome. For the first time in my life, after nearly two decades of dysphoria, I was finally standing to pee! I still remember the day I got it, because I got both my p-style and my first binder in the mail the same day. That was crazy.

I’m getting off track. Like I was saying, the P-Style worked incredibly well for me, and it wasn’t expensive either (I don’t remember but it was probably like $15). The only problem is that it’s made of hard plastic, and it’s big. There’s basically no way to carry it around discretely, especially if it’s summer and you don’t have a jacket pocket to stick it in. So take my enthusiasm with a grain of salt.

Well with the P-Style mysteriously disappearing, it was time for me to find something a little more pocket sized. I was looking at STP packers to see if I could get any ideas (they were all pretty expensive, so I wasn’t looking to buy an STP pack at the time - more on that later). I noticed that some of the regular packers that had been converted into STPs by hand used a baby bottle lid as the pee receptacle. And that gave me an idea. I glued a baby bottle lid to the spoon end of a medicine spoon. I’ll call it the adapted medicine spoon, in case y’all want to PM me with questions. Here’s some pictures:

In the marked-up picture, the pinkish-red line shows how far the baby bottle nipple goes into the medicine spoon. This is to prevent leaks between the two pieces. Always make sure the baby bottle lid is inside the medicine spoon - this prevents leaks! The green arrows show where I added glue to make sure everything stayed in place. You put the baby bottle lid up to your anatomy, and you’re good to go! (Heh, pun)

This little guy was my STP companion for a long time. It worked perfectly, and it fit in my pocket! And again, it was pretty cheap - the only part I had to pay for was the baby bottle nipple, which was probably like $10 or something.

But it was still a little bulky, and I didn’t like that my STP hogged an entire pocket. And I knew I could do better. So I went back to the drawing boards. My next invention was inspired by the coffee-cup-lid technique, but I made it out of duct tape so it would be more durable/permanent. We’ll call it the duct tape funnel. Because I still use this STP, it feels a little too personal to show you all a picture, but I will show you a model I made out of paper. Because it’s that easy to make, I could whip up a replica in two minutes. Here you go:

You literally just make a sheet of duct tape (there are tons of how-tos online, just google “how to make a duct tape sheet” - or click here for an example), and then roll the sheet up into a tube that’s narrower on one end and wider on the other end. For me, it works as well if not better than the adapted medicine spoon. And it folds completely flat. It legit feels no different than having like a tissue or a business card in your back pocket. I’m really proud of this little guy. He’s the closest thing I’ve ever felt to being able to STP as freely as a guy. It’s been a game changer for me. Also, it only costs as much as a roll of duct tape, and that’s only if you don’t already have one lying around at home.

I also bought an STP packer, just to see if it was worth the hype. I’m not going to post a picture, because I don’t want to post a pic of my junk, ya know? But I will give you this link to the website where I found it. Unfortunately, I cannot recommend this product in good conscience. Customer service was terrible. It took like 3 months to get to me (much slower than the already-long 10 weeks promised), and when I tried to ask for an update on my order 2 months in, the seller was a jerk about it. Aaaand after all that time, he sent me the wrong length, but I didn’t want to wait another 6 months or something to correct it. Also, I’ve heard he’s posted some incredibly transphobic stuff on facebook or something. So yeah, if I could do it all over again, I would not buy from him. However, it is a really good STP packer, and it only cost me like $60. Peeing out of it looked and felt like I actually had a dick, which was incredibly trippy, in the best way possible. If you have the money, investing in an STP packer can really help with the dysphoria.

In summary, here’s some advice:

1. If at first you don’t succeed, practice practice practice. Seriously. Start naked in the shower, so if you leak it’s no big deal. Then try naked next to the toilet. Then try through the fly. Make sure you got it down before you skip off merrily to your nearest urinal.

2. If you just can’t seem to get it, try something else. Everyone’s bits are different, so everyone’s experience with STPs are different. Try anything you can and find what works best for you!

3. STP packers are really cool if you can afford one.Not as cool as binders though, in my opinion, so like if you can only afford one, go with a binder and a homemade STP. But that’s just me *Shrugs* 

And, seriously, message me if you have any questions! I hope this helps!

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people 

Tagged by: @freckledandspectacled​ who at least wanted to be tagged if anyone did this ^^;

Tagging: @graslistia @kristsune @felineladyy @karlimeaghan @goddamnitkastle @ratkhaleesi @weconqueratdawn @docnickie @awritersrejections @attic-nights That’s 10, that’s half ^^; the other half can be YOUR choosing xp

The Last …

1. drink: Fitz’s Black Cherry soda X333

2. phone call: Uhhhh... excellent question, probs one of my parents, needing me to be awake ^^;

3. text message: My girlfriend! X3 waiting her to arrive at the theater X333

4. song you listened to: Currently listening to Excelsior, GO LISTEN, IT’S SO GOOD!

5. time you cried: Ummm... fuck. A Prayer for Mad Sweeney, probs ^^; I was LEGIT crying I’ll have you know

6. dated someone twice: You mean... broken up and then gotten back together? No, god no. If you mean dated the same person on multiple dates, YEAH, of course ^^;

7. kissed someone and regretted it: Nope X3333

8. been cheated on: No, no, that was never a thing

9. lost someone special: Oh, yes. Who hasn’t? Sometimes death, sometimes a disagreement, but we’ve all lost someone

10. been depressed: Er... nothing I’d take to a psychiatrist. Nothing that lasted over a month, tops

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Ha ha! NO, everyone thought I did, but no... I was just real upset about it xp haha... don’t get drunk friends, it’s not actually great.

Favorite Colors…

12. Ohhhh, shit, I get options, ummmm... that specific dark blue of the night sky

13. That blinding orange of the sun in a really spectacular sunset

14. And, a little personal, but... the precise flush of my girlfriend’s lips when I’ve kissed her too hard (no pic available)

In The Last Year Have You…

15. made new friend: Hells yeah!

16. fallen out of love: Um... don’t think so ^^; not even any shows I’ve fallen out of love with, man

17. laughed until you cried: ALWAYS, it’s like you don’t even know me xp

18. found out someone was talking about you: Uh, no... I’m intensely boring and not worth anyone’s speculation ^^; Also, as far as I know, people ain’t lying to me

19. met someone who changed you: Mmmm... made me feel a shitton better about myself, if that counts X33

20. found out who your friends are: Mmmm... possibly, mostly that I have more than I thought and I love them all very much

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: I mean... yeah ^^;

General

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: I think almost all of them ^^; any internet friends there I’ve known since BEFORE TIME and are basically my extended family (DBCA shoutout)

23. do you have any pets: Sadly, no

24. do you want to change your name: Nope, been with this weirdass thing too long, it suits me, everyone knows me by it (I mean... y’all know me as Lemon, but the RL peeps, I’m Edwina and like... it Means something, as I hope Lemon Means somethign to all of you ^^; ), wouldn’t change it ^^;

25. what did you do for your last birthday: Ate chocolate which my girlfriend provided and moved back into my VERY NEWLY renovated house ^^; it was Move Day, it was... yeah... yeahhhhh. Rough and tiring birthday ^^;

26. what time did you wake up: Uhhh... my alarm was set for 10, but I totes didn’t get out of bed til 11, like a jackass ^^;

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Talking with my girlfriend in her car after watching the fireworks X333

28. name something you can’t wait for: Getting a job ^^;

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Uhhh... 2 hours ago ^^; I live with her xp

31. what are you listening to right now: The end of Excelsior ^^; it’s a FUCKING LONG song guys ^^;

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Ummm... HMMMMM, I want to say yes. Could be wrong tho.

33. something that is getting on your nerves: ...the President? Yeah. Yeah. That guy.

34. most visited website: Tumbles. We be here.

35. hair colour: Honey blonde, technically speaking, tho quite the dark end of that scale, every stylist I’ve ever asked classifies me as a blonde tho

36. long or short hair: Short, only comes to my earlobes, thinking about trying it longer again though... we’ll see

37. do you have a crush on someone: You could say that X333

38. what do you like about yourself: Uhhhh... fabulous sense of humor xp

39. piercings: None

40. blood type: A-, I believe

41. nickname: Lemon! also Nike, sometimes X3

42. relationship status: In a relationship X3333

43. zodiac: Chinese: Monkey, astrological: Virgo

44. pronouns: She/her, but I’d accept they/them c:

45. favourite tv show: *shows falling out of pockets* Uhhhhhhhh... UHHHHHHHHH. I mean, Hannibal is... 💯 So... that, pretty much... yeah. I love many tho!

46. tattoos: None, but... I keep thinking

47. right or left handed: Right handed

48. surgery: Um... 2 really, hip dysplasia and a cist removal in my hand

49. piercing: I... why is this here twice?

50. sport: None ^^; But I greatly enjoy watching tennis and curling xp

51. vacation: Yes. I mean, House on the Rock, Wisconsin, OBVIOUSLY. All of the UK, just... all of it. I wouldn’t mind visiting Denmark or Sweden either. New Zealand tho, for real. The True Dream.

52. pair of trainers: I have New Balance... fuck you, I have bad feet.

More General

53. eating: Yes. Although, hilariously, I infinitely prefer raw fish to cooked fish. Cooked fish is horrific. Shellfish is great tho. I have weird opinions on seafood.

54. drinking: Water is good for your body friends, I also like tea and ginger ale

55. i’m about to: I dunno... try to write some shit maybe ^^;

56. waiting for: Uhhh... the end of the questions ^^;

57. want: A Job

58. get married: I’m pretty certain I will ^^;

59. career: teaching ^^;

60. hugs or kisses: Yesssss, all of the above X3333

61. lips or eyes: Yes. I mean, I���ll notice eyes first, but lips are... very important ^^;

62. shorter or taller: Dead average for an American woman ^^; Shorter than almost everyone I hang out with ^^;

63. older or younger: I’m ALMOST 25 ^^; so... make of that what you will ^^;

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms, oh FUCK yeah, I ain’t gonna judge your core buddy *looks at own chub* I ain’t gonna judge

65. hook up or relationship: Relationship, hands down

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Depends how comfortable I am with you ^^; And, You’ll Know which it is ^^;

67. kissed a stranger: I mean... no, I don’t think that counts ^^; Certainly NOT a stranger any more ^^; approximately 5000 kisses later

68. drank hard liquor: Yeah ^^; to my everlasting regret

69. lost glasses/contact lenses: No, unless you count fire damage as ‘losing them’

70. turned someone down: Yep ^^;

71. sex on the first date: Noooo, no no no no, not... NOPE. That is... Not A Thing I will EVER be capable of doing, no thank you ^^;

72. broken someone’s heart: I mean... maybe :/ I’m very sorry if I did

73. had your heart broken: Oh YEAH man, like... that’s part of existing for me, just a part of life ^^;

74. been arrested: No, not even close ^^;

75. cried when someone died: Yep, yes I have

76. fallen for a friend: 1000% yes

Do You Believe In …

77. yourself: I try to ^^;

78. miracles: Only if we’re watching The Prince of Egypt. Also, to give the benefit of the doubt, I think you can believe in miracles without depending on them. Like... to be fair here. I could believe in A miracle without expecting one to happen to me or for me just because I said so. Because that would be... really stupid, frankly, and possibly dangerous.

79. love at first sight: No, my general first impression of my girlfriend was “Now there’s a feminist if I ever saw one,” which, I mean, is hardly a BAD first impression. And she quickly became my Favorite Person in that class, like... I made good choices friends, I made good choices. I regret nothing.

80. santa claus: You know... I never believed as a kid, but as an adult, so much of me WANTS to. It’s a weird time.I think it goes with the miracle thing, wanting to believe the world is kinder than you know it to be, wanting to think that... great things can happen just because you believe. It sure would be nice if it was true.

81. kiss on the first date: I think I did actually ^^; mainly because... I had never kissed anyone before and I had Questions ^^; Such as How To

82. angels: Only if we’re in Night Vale

Other

83. current best friend’s name: Katie X333

84. eye colour: A lovely hazel green of indeterminate value

85. favourite movie: Mmmm! Fuck me. Well, it’s not my favorite, but I just saw Baby Driver and it’s REALLY good and I want to tell everyone to go see it. GO SEE IT. IT’S VERY GOOD. Edgar Wright did it again friends!

[herotheshiro]

i do mention them a lot in my reviews but tbh i hesitate to further discuss problematic behavior that’s seen in BL ... not bc i don’t want to but most times i feel like the way i talk about it on this blog, it glosses over that it’s a real issue OR i talk about it in a way that sounds like i’m defending it but i’m merely trying to say that maybe there are other factors we need to consider to evaluate it (please keep reading for better context, that latter point sounded seriously wack lmao). so basically i’m afraid of being misinterpreted so i just swerve the discussion a little (but i feel like i do make sure to mention when a behavior is definitely crappy).

re: the former reason, that’s bc i have read so many BL in my life that when i read a problematic behavior now i’m just merely like ‘ugh that’s shitty’ and then keep reading (i mean it depends. if someone is seriously getting physically/emotionally abused as part of the plot then i am yeeting out of there bc i don’t enjoy reading that or quickly scrolling/clicking past the scene in question). because yes, a lot of stories out there include problematic behavior without calling it out and i’m sure most of you are aware that the BL genre has some common tropes that are major issues irl. but i also enjoy when stories are realistic with how they handle certain things even if it’s uncomfortable to read at that point in time ... so while i have talked smack before abt some IG comments i have read, i do genuinely appreciate getting a different view from my own to help better shape my opinion bc sometimes i think something and then i read something and i’m like ‘oh ... right i hadn’t considered that’. btw i’m talking about issues like miscommunication or impulsive behaviors that may hurt someone else unknowingly (or even knowingly) ... like y’all can’t possibly tell me that you have never done that yourself or don’t know anyone who’s done it irl. as i have repeated for like the past 2-3 posts ... it’s mad uncomfy to read asshole behavior but it’s legit infuriating when you read asshole behavior and then it’s never really resolved i.e. it gets ignored or romanticized like ‘oh he was just a jerk bc he cares so much for you!’

like i wax poetic a lot abt the manhwa from points of three on here sometimes and that’s bc i really liked how the character of jisuh was handled. i know ppl had issues with jisuh’s behavior upon finding out heejae tricked him and while i acknowledge that yeah jisuh’s behavior was not great ... it made sense based on the fact that he had just come out of an abusive relationship and most likely had a twisted way of thinking. it was not glorified in any way, and i think in the end jisuh acknowledged his behavior hurt heejae and was like ‘yes i do have a crappy way of going about relationships but i’ll try to fix it in the future’ ... but also i was so happy that the finale was jisuh being like ‘i’ll give us a 2nd chance and if we can’t make this work then it’s over for real’. i thought it was very realistic based on what we had seen in the story, not necessarily a HEA. boom another wax poetic abt this manhwa, legit imo one of the best written manhwas i’ve read. also sunyool best boy, he deserved someone better than jisuh who clearly never had feelings for him in the first place

ANYWAY. i don’t think i have any problematic opinions regarding relationships and handling personal issues but i acknowledge i might not be very clear on stuff sometimes. i apologize if you read something i write and think it’s seriously wack; feel free to reply to a post or message me if you have an issue or want further clarification.

[aliensaucers]

92 Questions Tag Game

I was tagged by @ghoulpunks (heck eeeyeah thanks friendo)

Last:

1. Drink: think it was water (but i rlly want some orange juice rn)

2. Phone call: my boyfriend bc we havent been able to talk in school

3. Text message: i usually use skype to message but my last text was to my friend gillian

4.Song you listened to: i’m listening to take her to the moon by waterparks rn

5.Time you cried: i think it was because the cover from my light on my ceiling fell on my face the other day??

Have you ever:

6. Dated someone twice: nope im still in my first relationship so thats kinda impossible rn

7.Kissed someone and regretted it: never had a legit kiss yo

8.Been cheated on: nope

9.Lost someone special: heck yeah, a lot of times

10.Been depressed: absolutely

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

12.13.14.List three Favourite colours: blue, red, and yellow

In the last year have you :

15.Made new friends: yeah!!!

16.Fallen out of love: nahh

17.Laughed until you cried: i’m pretty sure??

18.Found out someone was talking about you: no i don’t think so

19.Met someone who changed you: yeah

20.Found out who your friends are: absolutely

21.Kissed someone on your Facebook list: see number 7. (answer is no)

General:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them??? (i dont use facebook, my mom manages it pretty much)

23. Do you have any pets: yes!!!!! I have a dog named Chito and i love him very much

24. Do you want to change your name: i used to, but now im comfortable with it

25. What did you do for your last birthday: i cant remember? I think i went to church that day?

26. What time did you wake up: 5:30am (i slept in)

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: bitch i was asleep for once

28. Name something you can’t wait for: the school year to be over (i know it just started like a month ago but shhh)

29. When was the last time you saw your mum: like an hour ago?? idk

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my mental stability i guess??

31. What are you listening to right now: waterparks

32. Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah my grandfather

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: idk im pretty chill atm. Maybe the fact that an old friend lied to me the other day like .. multiple times even tho i knew the truth anyway

34. Most visited websites: tumblr i guess? And rabb.it

35. Elementary school: ye??? Idk what this is asking

36. High school: i am currently in high school yes

37. University: yeah im gonna go to that one day

38. Hair colour: blonde

39 . Long or short hair: mine is rlly short but still a longer than it was the last time i posted selfies on here

40. Do you have a crush on someone: idk how to answer this question?? Not really i guess??

41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes, hair and my ability to help others i guess?

42. Piercings: nope

43. Blood type: lol i forgot oops

44. Nickname: ughhh okay. Amy, ames, millie, mill, macklemore, chihuahua, egg, etc.

45. Relationship status: taken

46. Zodiac sign: scorpio (i think????)

47. Pronouns: she/her but i dont really care so y’all can call me whatever

48. Favorite TV show: idk?? I cant remember when i last watched tv

49. Tattoos: uhhh no i dont want one

50. Right or left hand: left

First

51. Surgery: nope

52. Hair dyed: no

53. Sport: t-ball lol

54. Vacation: florida

55. Pair of trainers: they prolly had dora the explorer on them or smth idk


More general

56. Eating: nothing but i had a boiled egg this morning

57. Drinking: nothing rn

58. I’m about to: take a nap bc im Sick

59. Waiting for: the weekend so i can take a break

60. Want: idk?

61. Get married: wait what’s this asking? I wanna have just a chill marriage ig???

62. Career: idk, im thinking psychologist maybe

63. Favorite artist: waterparks and those who dream

64. Place you want to travel: New York

65. Favorite subject: art or english i guess? im not in pe rn but thats pretty alright at my school usually

Which is better

66. Hugs or kisses: depends on the situation

67. Lips or eyes: eyes i guess?? certain lips are Good tho

68. Shorter or taller: it doesnt matter to me; no preference

69. Older or younger: once again no preference

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: hhhh,,,, arms

71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive

72. Hookup or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both? I guess??

Have you ever

74. Kissed a stranger: nno

75. Drank hard liquor: nope never gonna do it either

76. Lost glasses/ contact lenses: i lost my glasses a couple times throughout middle school i think??

77. Turned someone down: uhhh a couple times??? but more often i notice where the conversation is going and shut it down somehow before it gets awkward

78. Sex on the first date: no, thank you very much

79. Broken someone’s heart: dont think so

80. Had your heart broken: i guess not?

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: for sure

83. Fallen for a friend: ….yeah…..

Do you believe in

84. Yourself: sure i guess… to some extent

85. Miracles: yes

86. Love at first sight: i have an unusual opinion on this. i feel like you can see someone and think “that person is special” and find out later on that y’all are perfect for each other, but thats it

87. Santa Claus: uhhhhhhh no

88. Kiss on first date: uhhhh it depends on how well you know the person before the date imo

89. Angels: yes

Other

90. Current best friend’s name: carolyn my dude my buddy my pal my friend (also blake !!)

91. Eye colour: a confusing mess (they’re hazel)

92. Favorite movie: Sing Street is a 2016 musical coming-of-age comedy-drama film co-written, co-produced and directed by John Carney. Starring Ferdia Walsh-Peelo, Lucy Boynton, Maria Doyle Kennedy, Aiden Gillen, Jack Reynor, and Kelly Thornton, the story revolves around a boy starting a band to impress a girl in 1980s Ireland. It is an international co-production from Ireland, the United States, and United Kingdom.

im sorry i dont feel like tagging anyone so if you wanna do it, go wild pals