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#if we didnt had to take our time by one hour it would be like 4 am already for me
em0-alpaca · 2 years
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moonbound wx-78
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piplupod · 7 months
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thinking abt the previous post, the agency i worked at for a couple years would use bits of ABA and I just... I always nodded along to the boss instructing me on how to work with the kids with those tactics (I worked with the kids who were 6 and under) and then as soon as she left I tossed all that shit out of my brain and just treated the kid like a human being and worked with them where they were at.
and guess what !!! i had the most and fastest success out of every other worker in the entire building!! i was often told it seemed like i was working miracles with my kids bc they'd just progress so fast (comparatively) through the skill book we had to work on, and that the kids always seemed so happy and eager to come to the building after they started working with me!!
this is partially why I quit because I couldn't stand seeing my coworkers treat the kids like they were dogs (talking down to them, being patronizing, and utilizing shitty ABA tactics) and as much good as I was doing there, it was fucking me up bc they were extremely demanding that I work more than I was comfortable (or able) to, and often put me with "problem" kids who I didn't get to regularly see so we couldn't make much progress bc the kids weren't able to get to know me and (rightfully!) didn't trust me because they thought I'd be treating them the way everyone else did.
i just...... my coworkers would ask me how I had so much success and I would just shrug and say like, "just treat them like they're human and work with them where they're at" and I couldn't explain any more bc that'd require me admitting I wasn't following the boss' guidance for a lot of shit fjfkdl
#i had kids who didn't like talking suddenly become chatterboxes bc they actually felt safe and listened to for once !!!#(and ofc some kids just didnt like talking and that was okay bc they would talk when needed but just preferred to be quiet)#also yall i had no formal training for this 😭 i was thrown into the fray one day djfkdl i was supposed to just work as an admin assistant#it was just fucking bonkers there#kids had meltdowns sometimes bc the workers were so useless and didnt take the time to learn to read the child and they'd push too much#and they did things in ways that were sooo rigid so often like... if a kid is looking tired u gotta shift ur schedule around !!#but they'd just be like noooope this is our plan and we have to stick to it#my guy!! the child looks exhausted!!! they are fucking four years old !!! what the hell are u doing!!!#no four yr old is going to ever feel okay if u keep pushing them to do stuff they dont rly want to do when theyre tuckered out!!#anyways i could rant for hours abt that place lmfao#i still think abt the kids so often esp some of the ones with rough home lives#and i just rly rly hope theyre doing okay#but i cannot go back and help again bc that place destroyed me gjfkdl i hit autistic burnout HARD while there#and thats what ultimately forced me to quit#otherwise i probably would've stayed bc i rly wanted to give these kids someone safe to be around esp if their homes werent a v safe place#idk its so hard bc one person can't change the entire way things are (esp since i had no formal training)#but also if im not there then i know nobody else there is going to be knocking ABA to the side and treating the kids like whole ass humans!#eugh i hate thinking abt it bc I just... what the fuck do u do with a situation like that lmfao#i miss those kids sm though fjfkdl theyre all so cool and fun and rly good kids#i hope good things happen to them :')#pippen needs 2nd breakfast#ableism tw#aba tw
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toastsnaffler · 3 months
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forgot to text my stepdad happy fathers day and now my mum is mad at me LOL
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bluerosefox · 1 year
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Assassin Heir? Crime Fighting Furry? NOPE NO THANK YOU!
"Danyal, its time to end this game and return with me."
Danny should had known Clockwork had something in mind when he sent him on this mission. He knew he should had been suspicious of the time keeper when he noticed the little 'this is going to be fun' smile on his face when he sent Danny off into the portal.
"Get back here you demon spawn 2.0!"
But how was he supposed to know that he'd wake up in this world version of himself in a pit full of corrupted (AND NASTY) ectoplasim at the tender age of five or that when he swam up to the surface he'd be meeting face to face with what was apparently a cult.
"-O just spotted him a block away! I'll try to cut itty bitty bridie off!"
An Assassins Cult his, new to him, loving yet a little insane mother was in charge of (though during the few months he stayed in the compound he heard rumors and gossip from maids and others alike that if his grandfather returned from the dead he'll take over once again, no doubt punish Talia for creating another heir after the failure of the last one, most likely was going to kill Danny and that... that was can of worms Danny didn't wanna deal with yet)
"Ten bucks says they try to stab RR when we get the feral thing home"
"...Losers bet...."
Danny had lived with his mother for a while after being brought back from the 'dead' for apparently the first time, it turned out training a five year old with an actual sword and a dumbass hidden revenge seeking teacher was a terrible idea.
"I swear if this one tries to murder me like the others I'm asking Zatanna if there is a curse on me."
He dealt with her high demands of perfection, the endless training, and the constant comparisons to his apparent older brother Damain... Who didn't know Danny, or rather Danyal existed.
Nor did his father (when Danny, using his powers he's kept hidden since 'waking' up in this Realm, he sneaked his way around the base and discovered how he came into the world. And tbh he couldn't blame his mom how she made him, she was an assassin first and foremost, being naturally pregnant would had painted a target on her for to long... but he also felt it was unfair and an asshole move on his unsuspecting father as well)
"As your elder brother I demand you to stop running!"
Now don't get him wrong, he did like his new mother (total badass assassin lady and all that) and he knew she loved him in her own... deadly way. But yeah, she really shouldn't be taking care of kids. He could tell she struggled with wanting to be a normal mother but her first instinct after so many years was to be an assassin first.
Something she was trying to engrave into Danny with as well.
"Ah, hello Beloved. I see you've learned of our Danyal."
"Talia. Back away from him and leave Gotham now."
"I can not do that. The League needs an heir and since Damian refuses to return... I have decided to create a new one and I shall not be leaving until he returns with me."
"Talia."
Hence why when Danny, or rather Danyal al Ghul had gotten decent control over his powers he decided to leave the League. Again nothing wrong with the life his mom leads, to each their own, but he... really, really didnt want to be an assassin. Or an assassin heir.
So here he was, after almost a year on the run, using his powers and training to out smart and out maneuver his mother and her many band of Assassins, in Gotham. One of the last places he ever wanted to run to cause he knew his father and brother lived here.
It was just his luck that his mother had managed to intercept his train ride that passed into Gotham for a few hours and forced him to run into the city...
Add her assassins into the mix and running into Robin, who heard from Oracle his mother had been spotted chasing a young boy across the city, that same night.
After that it became a full on "catch me if you can" chase for not only his mother but for the batclan as well.
And after two whole days of chase, it seemed like the final showdown was about to begin because everyone was on top of this rooftop, his mother and her assassins on one side, his father and the batclan on the other and Danny well... he was right in the middle of all of it.
He just had to hope no one would notice him once the fighting started...
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zeppelinlvr · 1 month
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"Better?" "Much"
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Dean Winchester x Female Reader
Summary: waking up next to Dean and getting ready with him
Notes: I promise I'll give Sam some love after this, I love the idea that Dean acts like a dad when he gets up, hacking, coughing, groaning, the whole nine yards. I wanted to thank you guys again for all of the support, you're all so sweet! 💗💗
warnings: cursing, dean and reader playfully argue, kissing, lots of fluff, reader goes to the bathroom while dean is in there, but I promise its nothing gross or weird 😔
w.c: 1k
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The rising sun shone through a crack in the curtains of the motel room. You stirred awake, the light managing to hit you right in the eye. Dean lay next to you, softly snoring, drooling lightly and laying in a position that couldn't possibly be comfortable. You grimaced for him and the thought of how bad his neck was going to hurt when he woke up.
Sam was already awake, he still sat in his pajamas but he was sipping on a cup of coffee and had his computer open, researching as he typically did. He noticed you waking up and gave you a soft smile, not wanting to wake Dean.
You weren't exactly an early riser so you cuddled into Dean, burying your face into his side, trying to block out the light. You found yourself struggling to breathe and let out a sigh, knowing you weren't going to be able to fall back asleep.
Dean groaned as he awoke, grunting as his vision cleared and he noticed your face smushed into him.
“You trying to smell my pits or something?” he said with a small laugh, his voice slightly hoarse from having just woke up
“Love the pheromones” you replied sarcastically and brought your head up to look at him.
His hair was tousled and he had pushed half of the blanket off the bed in his sleep but he looked handsome as ever. Your hair was a mess, the shirt you slept in was twisted around your body, and your sleep shorts were riding up like crazy but Dean still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, simultaneously enjoying how your legs and ass looked when your shorts rode up.
Both of you were wild sleepers, flipping around in the night, blankets and pillows being pushed off the bed, Dean waking up in a panic when you would jerk in your sleep, and you hitting Dean with your pillow when his snores would grow too loud. The two of you would go to bed cuddling every night and wake up with your arm sprawled over his face and his legs on your side of the bed. Neither of you would have it any other way.
You moved yourself so your head rested on his chest, he brought his arm around you and placed a kiss to the top of your head.
“What's our next move Sammy?” Dean asked, “you found anything yet?”
“There's signs of vampires in Carterville Missouri, it’ll take us about five hours to get there though, so we should head out soon.”
“I can get us there in four, as long as grandma here doesn't have to pee every half hour” he said as he motioned towards you.
“I’m not the one who needs to stop for snacks constantly” you defended “and since you want to be Kevin Harvick with how fast you drive, you can make up the lost time from my bathroom breaks”
“Why do you guys just wake up arguing?” Sam asked
“We didnt, he kissed me then we started arguing” you defended with a sweet smile
“Yeah, come on Sam” Dean added
The two of you received an eye roll from Sam “go get ready, we can leave in an hour” he told both of you.
Dean sat up with a loud groan earning a response of “You sound like a father and you're not even one” from you.
“What are you talking about”
“All dads sound like they're dying when they get out of bed, all that loud groaning and back popping makes me think you need to go to the chiropractor.” you told him
“Alright sweetheart” he responded not even bothering to give in to what you were talking about, and gave you a kiss. You scrunched your nose after he pulled away.
“You need to brush your teeth” you giggled
“Same goes for you”
The two of you got out of bed and made your way to the bathroom, brushing your teeth at the same time. Dean was at it again with his noises, he was hacking and spitting like there was no tomorrow while he brushed his teeth.
“Jesus, you dont have to kill yourself with the toothbrush you know” You told him after you rinsed your mouth out.
“Teeth won’t be clean if I don't brush em like this” he told you, muffled by his mouth full of toothpaste.
“Okay Dean, I’m gonna pee while you finish up” you said and sat down on the toilet, Dean gave you a nod with his toothbrush still dangling out of his mouth. You scoffed and then laughed at him, unable to take him seriously with his extensive morning routine.
“You look so helpless when you pee” he said
“What are you talking about” you asked with a laugh
“You just sit there like you're waiting for a bus, it makes me feel bad” he explained “at least I can stand up and put my hand on the wall or something.”
You shook your head at his observation, laughing at how ridiculous it was.
The two of you finished up in the bathroom and made your way to your bags to get changed. Sam went to the bathroom to clean up, having already changed. You opted for a tee shirt, jeans, and a jacket you had stolen from Dean. Dean put on attire similar to yours, adding a few more layers than you had chosen to.
Dean made his way over to you and kissed you sweetly, his lips lips plush against yours. He brought one of his hands up to the side of your head, toying with your hair with his fingers. He placed his other hand on your waist, rubbing his thumb back and forth along your hip. You brought your hand under his shirt, lightly scratching along his back, earning a soft groan from him. You knew he was a sucker for you scratching his back, always asking you to when the two of you laid in bed, or after he'd had a long day. You smiled into the kiss at the noise he had made. Your moment with Dean, that was much needed by both of you, was cut short by Sam clearing his throat, your face heated upon hearing him and you quickly pulled away from Dean.
“My breath better?” Dean asked a grin playing at his face
“Much” you told him with a small smile, his minty taste still lingering on your lips.
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writingoddess1125 · 1 year
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The old men of One Piece finding out they have a child with you. Pt. 2
Due to popular demand I have a part two for you guys!
Shanks, Buggy, Mihawk xFemreader
Healthy Mix of Angst and Fluff
Support me on Ko-Fi
Part 1 <- -> Part 3
Buggy
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The crew was quick to follow orders, Cabaji grabbing you as others grabbed your sons. Dragging you from the restaurant you called a home and out onto the streets, screamed fill the air as the village was being ripped apart. Your boys crying out in fear as the crew harshly brought you onto the ship you once were apart of.
You yelped as you were thrown into Buggy's room. Your boys being tossed in as well, you quickly grabbed Dee and Bee and brought them to your chest. Running your hands through their hair as they sobbed against you, shaking like a leaf and terrified.
"Ssshh it's okay my loves it's okay" you whisper trying to soothe them, holding them tightly to try and ward away the bad dream. After a few hours they finally fell asleep, You carefully rolling up and placing them on Buggy's large bed. It wouldn't be best to let them sleep in your arms since they were fairly large and when asleep could kick and roll. You couldn't risk injury if you were going to escape with the twins.
You tucked them into the big stripped bed and sighed- Surrounded by more of this circus shit made them look way more like Buggy then you cared to admit. Smoothing Dee and Bee wild blue locks with your hand you sighed heavily. Trying to come up with a plan to escape- but the plotting was short lived as the bedroom door opened.
Buggy stared at you and then glanced at the boys as they slept soundly in his bed. He was holding a large tray and set it down on the side table, meeting your eyes as he picked up a fork and took a bite from each both and even a bite of the bread, before taking a seat clearly wanting to show it was safe to eat and feed the children. You looked at the food it was 3 healthy servings of pasta with fresh bread and 3 drinks, 2 milks and a ale. You looked at him in question but you didn't dare voice anything. Instead gently shaking the twins awake-
"Eh? Mom?..." Dee mumbled as he rubbed his sleepy eyes. "Dinner is here" You say calmly, holding a bowl out to Dee who gently took it in his tiny hands before waking up Bee with a bit more force and doing the same. Splitting the bread in half and giving each half to your sons to make sure they had full bellies.
You ate your own food, Watching as the twins hungrily ate there like they hadn't had a meal before, havjng to make sure they didnt mess up the nice bed. However you kept glancing back at Buggy, feeling his eyes on you.
He sat across the room stull, watching you closely as you wiped their faces clean with your dress and handing them their drinks and even taking your own ale and sipping it. You saw Bee wat hibg Buggy closely, the two staring at each other silently.
"What are you looking at Old Man?-" Bee snapped as he glared at Buggy. You snapping your finger quickly at him.
"Attitude-" You hissed in warning. However heard a shuffle to see Buggy snorting a laugh and turning away to giggle-
"Damn these really are my Kids- I was at least 90% sure before but now it's 100%!" He laughed, actually Wiping the tears from his face.
"Mom what is he talking about?" Dee questioned first, raising a brow at the Clown in their room.
"Yeah and whats with hi-" You smacked your hand over your sons mouth. Knowing that the following question would lead to a fight you didn't have the strength for.
"Boys this is your father... Buggy the Clown. He's a Pirate Captian"
"Our Dads a clown-" Bee deadpanned as his face looked at you in what can only be described as confused horror. You sighing mentally by this, as Dee stared at Buggy suspiciously.
"How do we know?-" Dee started, But Buggy pulled the hat from his head and bandana to show his blue locks that were identical to their.
"Our Dads a Clown!?" Bee said again this time
"I'm a porate clown-" Buggy shot back as he frowned at the boy. The two locking in gaze of equal stubbornness and attitude.
Dee started to say"Is that why you took us?" But was cut off gloriously by Bee"If you're our dad then you suck! Why did you grab mom by her hair and make her cry!" He proclaimed, Jumping up on the bed and pointing to Buggy angrily. You urging the boy to sit down, But Buggy's gaze softened.
"I apologize- I didn't see it was her or else I would have never raided you town. Instead just picked you three up to take with me" He admitted calmly. The seemed to take the wind from Bee's sails as he sat back down- You also surprised to hear Buggy apologize or be so vulnerable.
"I want to have you three here with me and be apart of my children's life" Buggy started as he stared at you- You started to protest but he held up a hand.
"60 Days, that's all I ask. If in 60 days you don't want me in their lives I'll drop you and the boys off at a Marine Base with some berry. Enough to be comforble for the rest of your lives"
It was a good deal- a damn good deal. It's not like you had a berry to your name or a place to return to. That and he genuinely seemed interested in the boys, you gave a defeated sigh.
"Alright... 60 days- then we will talk from there" Buggy smiled at hearing you agreeing to this. Excitement shining in his eyes as he jumped up from his seat.
"Perfect! You all rest here. I'll leave and bring some supplies for you all" Buggy said calmly as he stood up and quickly left, a grin plastered on his face as he left you.
You should have known that Buggy was planning something. For the next 3 days it was like he turned the ship into a child's dream. There was suddently a absurd about of toys, sweets, every game imaginable too seemed to have suddently appeared. Buggy all to happy to shower the twins in anything they asked for, played any game they wanted.
You inwardly sighed as you watched the twins start to warm up to Buggy, More like clinging to him. Bee seemingly the most interested in him while Dee seemed to just love sailing. Having to be coaxed down from the crows nest were he would hide all day. At the mess hall however is were they fit in the best- It was like Buggy had cloned himself the two perfect best friends, aka himself.
Dee had taken to keeping his hair up due to his time in the crows nest and also had become more confident- pushing his brother back whenever he messed with him a bit too much- As for Bee it was like Buggy 2.0- Loud, flashy and ready to find trouble. It had been only 3 days but so much had changed, Currently it being evening dinner time.
Sitting next to Buggy in the mess hall, who had made it a habit of keeping you close you glared as your son then Buggy who was just laugjing "Benny (Y/L/N) get your monkey ass here right now!" You yelled as you saw your son running down the tables of the mess hall. Singing a made of sea shanty that the rest of the freaks were actually drinking and singing along to.
"Let the boy have some fun (Y/N)! It's not like he's hurting anyone- Besides what's the worse that can happen! Stop with the snooty attitude" Buggy proclaimed with a laugh, you saw Dee get a mischievous look in his eye before slipping under the table. You give a sarcastic smile, knowing your twins all too well.
"Fine then, I won't be snooty for the next hour whatever they damage you gotta clean" You proposes with a smile. He laughed and nodded.
"Deal! Finally now we can have some fu-"
And like a symphony of madness all hell broke lose. Dee had popped put from under the table and grabbed Bee's foot nid step. The singing child falling into a massive bowl of mashed potatos which managed to spray everywhere- coating all the people at the table in potatos and the floor which made a few Crewmates who had been walking slip and slam into tables flinging more food and creating more mess paired with a hunk of cake landing right in Buggy's face. Wiping the frosting as he watched the two boys make a run from the mess hall cackling like two Imps.
"Boys!!" He yelled, trying to wipe more of the pink frosting from his face. You smiled and handed him a napkin.
"Have fun Captian!~" You said with a grin and patted his shoulder as Buggy sat there red faced and glaring at you half heartedly. As if taking your cue, you got up and left. Giggling as you hear Buggy snap at some crewmates to grab something to help clean the mess.
Deciding to take the time for yourself you went to the main deck. Leaning against the rails as you watched the dark waves of the ocean and the setting sun. You couldn't lie and say you didn't miss the ocean, or the time to yourself. You stood there watching as the sun set and plunged the ship into darkness, the lanterns of the ship turning on as well as the ship seemed to be sailing in darkness.
"Enjoying your free time?" A deep voice snapped you from your thoughts. Seeing Buggy walking towards you, his face washed of makeup and hair in a ponytail. Having clearly just bathed after getting the mess hall cleaned.
"Yeah, I forgot how nice it is being on this ship.. How are the boys?" Buggy smiled at hearing you enjoying yourself before shrugging.
"Got them washed up and put them to bed.....They seem to like me" He boated, seemingly proud he had formed such a strong bond.
"That they do" You reply. Watching as he put his hands in his pockets a bit awkwardly, that tough Captian Facade crumbling a bit under his own anxiety.
"(Y/N) Why did you leave?... Was it me? Were you ashamed of me or-" He started, the back of his hand brushing against his nose as the enxiety slammed into his chest.
"What?.. No that's not why I left Buggy- I was scared. How the hell was I suppose to go through pregnancy on a ship? Hell the labor?! That was 36 hours to give birth to both of them!" Buggy winced at the thought, you leaned against the railing and stared at him.
"It was the fact that I couldn't predict how you would react and no idea how to raise a baby here. So in a village with at least some stability seemed like the best option- Even if it ment having to do it alone"
You admit, Buggy messing with his gloved hands. Sadness bleeding through his gaze as he sighed.
"I suppose- I can see your point... but I would have put everything on hold if I knew-" Buggy admitted, before rubbing the back of his head a bit hesitantly.
"You know- We only got 60 days and I've been wanting to take a vacation. Drop off the crew maybe for a bit and I know this really nice island" Buggy said casually. Your eyebrows raising at hearing this- He wanted to stop pirating just for you and the twins?
"What?-" You started but he cut you off quickly. "I mean it would only be a little bit of course- unless something urged me to stay a bit longer. However I think being on the open ocean can be damaging for super long term- I mean the meals can cause scurvy and who knows what else" He quickly justified, even at this distance you could see his ears turning red. You couldn't help but giggle at this, which caught his attention quickly.
"I'd like that Buggy.. But I don't want to take you away from what you love" you say, Watching Buggy take a hesitant step towards you.
"Who knows... 60 days can quickly turn into eternity.. if you want it to.. and i lost what i loved once- Ill never let that happen again" He said locking eyes with you which made you smile brighter.
Shanks
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It had been 3 weeks since Shanks arrived- and it had been one journey, The man clearly loved to be a father. Willing to do anything for Vivian, her having the powerful pirate wrapped around her little finger and not even knowing it.
Shanks having let his crew take the time for essentially a vacation on his dime while ge stayed in your guestroom. Excited every morning to wake up and play with his daughter. He bought her so many toys, a chest full of pretty dresses, a giant stuffed monkey and a play wood sword since she had been so interest in his.
She had even taken to tying her favorite green ribbon on his sword since "It looks pretty" and he didn't have the will power to take it off. So for the most part, it had been complete and total bliss.
It was early morning when you heard some loud Noises coming from the kitchen area of your home- Getting up from bed and put on your robe and walked to see what all the noise was.
You stood in the kitchen with a raised eyebrow, the only word fitting this situation was- Hilarious. There sat Shanks, sat on the floor with his back leanes against the oven holding a old muffin. His eyes were covered in a thick layer of green glittery eyeshadow (from your makeup bag) hot red lipstick that was sneered on other parts of his face. Some bows randomly scattered in his red hair. His coat that usually covered his missing arm dropped over your daughter who was still in her baby blue tight gown and she was dragging behind her as she adding things to the spread on the floor. A bag of sugar, some water, a scattering of teabags and whatever had been in the fridge- including half eaten sandwiches and cupcakes which Shanks was currently chewing on.
"Starlight, I don't think there is anyway you can make the wate- I mean tea any sweeter" He said calmly, Watching Vi try to pour more sugar into her little China set with her chubby hands. Shanks cringing a bit at this as she poured him a cup and handed it to him.
"See! Now it's perfect!" She chimed and giggled loudly. He gave a smile as he set aside his muffin and sipped the tea, trying to suppress the cringe from the unholy amount of sugar that was mixed with water and a hint of a poor teabag.
"It's delicious Baby Girl- Fantastic" He choked out, working through a smile as he forced himself to take another sip. You couldn't help bit to laugh, which brought the attention of both Red Heads.
"Mommy!" Vivian chimed loudly running towards you still wearing Shank's cloak and you scooped her up carefully.
"I must say Shanks, you look fabulous" You said with a smile. Shanks Grinning up at you as he sat on the floor.
"I always thought I'd look good in green" He said, Gesturing to the sloppy eyeshadow. Rolling himself up to his feet as he smiled down at you.
"By the way are you ready for today?" You raised a brow-
"Oh boy what do you have planned?" Shanks only gave a wide smile before grabbing a box from the kitchen table and holding up a lovely yellow sundress for you and a similar one for Vivian.
"Fun day out!"
Shanks hadnt beem kidding about a fun day, staring with a lovely resturant on the island, sailing, having in a meadow and then time out at the park the sun started to set. Shanks held Vivian who was passed out against him, walking back to your home. The two of you talking about the time you two where together in the past.
"Thank you (Y/N).." He said softly, Smiling as he watched the sun set and the two of you walked up hill.
"For what?" He smiled brightly at you "Making me the happiest man in the world" You couldn't help but blush at hearing this. Looking away bashfully as you came up to your home, Seeing a man standing there a bit awkwardly.
"Yasopp! Glad you stopped by, This is (Y/N) and my darling daughter Vivian. She's asleep right now but I'm sure she'd love to meet ya"
Shank smiled brightly at seeing his fellow crewmate. However the look on Yasopp face said otherwise.
"Its lovely to meet you (Y/N)... but Captian- we have to talk.." He said softly, Shanks frowning at the tone he gave before gently passing Vivian to you.
"I'll be in a sec" He said, nodding you quickly head inside to get Vivian ready for bed. Yasopp and him talked outside, Shanks looked angry. Staring at the letter and running his hand through his hair clearly stressed. You finished cleaning Vivians face and got her in her PJs, tuckering her in for the night. In the hallway you could hear the should of bottles shifting, turning to see Shanks in the kitchen grabbing the bottle of whiskey you kept on the top shelf- his face twisted in anger as he plopped on the couch.
"You have to leave.. don't you-" You finally blurted out, watching him open the bottle with his teeth and take a sip. His eyes shiny with unshed tears, he nodded soberly as he took a hard swig of the drink.
"Shanks you can't finally meet her and just leave her life-" You stressed, anger bubbling in your chest as you stared at him. He sat slunched in the chair a swirling of different emotions in his eyes.
"They need my help.. and I can't risk it (Y/N).... I can't risk them finding out about you and Vi... they would kill you both" He whispered, shock slamming into you. Your eyes drifting to Vivian's room were she laid sleeping.
"...How long will you be gone" You whispered finally, sitting down on your sofa sadly.
"I don't know..." He whispered, defeat written on his face. Holding the bottle out to you, which you took and started to sip before passing it back.
"When do you leave?" Shanks took another heavy swig of the drink and held it out to you. "Tomorrow morning..." You nod at this- Taking another sip of the whiskey.
"...I-Is she going to hate me?" Shanks whispered, Looking up at were he knew Vi was. You shook your head "She doesn't have it in her heart to hate.." You said softly. He nodded at this and messed with the ribbon she tied on his sword, staring at it hard.
"I love her (Y/N).... so much it hurts.." His voice cracked. But he instead stood up, taking a heavy breath.
"I'm going to get some sleep... you should as well" He said softly, Turning and walking back to the guest room. Leaving you alone with the whiskey bottle, as you put it back in its rightful place. You could have sworn you heard hushed sobs... but left them be and went to cry in your own bed as well.
In the morning, the nice breakfast was made. Shanks feeding Vivian her oatmeal and letting her talk his ear off, you knew he needed this moment. Needed to have this with her. Once breakfast was finishes the three of you started the walk to the docks, Vivian holding Shanks hand as they talked about the pretty ocean.
Walking to the docks he saw the ship being loaded up, Vivian staring in awe at the massive vessel and giggled at the sight of all the men who stared at her and gave friendly waves. Shanks taking a deep breath to look at you both. Hurt shining in his eyes as he swallowed a hard lump in his throat. Kneeling down he looked at Vivian, his hand cupping her chubby cheek as he took a shaky breath holding back tears clearly. "Princess, I've got to go for a while.."
"But why?... you just got here?"
"I know baby girl- But, see there is this trouble maker- His name is Luffy. Think of him as your big brother, he needs my help.. And I don't want to put you and your Mommy in danger while I go get him. So I have to leave-"
He said, Biting his bottom lip for a second as he let a few tears roll down his cheek. Reaching into his pocket and pulling out a solid gold coin- it was quite large and he carefully handed it to Vivian. Her little fingers holding the big coin and touching the detailed design thay decorated it, his Jolly Roger.
"But I promise I'll be back.. but until I do- you have to keep this with you. It's special, it will protect you from Pirates- And when I come back, and I promise I will. I'll trade you that coin for your ribbon back okay?"
He said softly, watching Vivian smile up at him at the promise.
"Okay Daddy.." She said softly before jumping and hugging around his neck. He held her tightly, wrapping his arm around her as if he didn't want to let go.
"Captian-" Yassop said softly, Shanks nodding and carefully standing up. Handing Vivian to you a bit reluctantly, Vivian own eyes starting to water. You held her close as tears rolled down your own cheeks. Shanks leaning in and kissing the tears on your face and one gingerly on your lips.
"I'll see you two again, I swear" He said softly, Stepping back as he followed after his crew. The crew somber like their Captian as he boarded, yelling out commands to set sail. Looking back as the ship began to leave the harbor, Waving at the two of you. Vivian waving back gently as tears rolled down her chubby cheeks clutching the coin close to her chest.
You and Vivian standing on the docks as you watched the ship sail and disapear over the horizon. You sniffles and wiped your eyes of the tears you didn't know had still been running down your cheeks.
Your daughter looking at you and wiping your tears, giving you a smile just like Shanks "Don't worry Mommy.. Daddy said he'd be back"
Mihawk
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You stood in your tiny kitchen, rubbing your temple as the days situation settled on your bones. Your son standing next to you chopping vegetables silently, Clearly ignoring the elephant in the room.
"Alucare- Do you want to-"
"No" He cut you off quickly, quickly cutting down on a carrot like it had wronged him. You sighed at this setting the kettle on the stove to start a pot of tea. Knowing damn well what was coming- right on cue there was a knock to the door.
Turning you went to let in the Warlord, he looked like a kicked puppy. Awkwardly standing there at your door with his hat removed, his eyes glancing up at you hesitantly.
"(Y/N)..." He said softly, surprising you that he had even remembered your name. He stepped to the side, inviting him into your home and guiding him to your dining room were he took a seat at the kitchen table.
You took a seat as well, Alucare not turning from preparing the vegetables. A awkward silence following the trio as there was only the sound of chopping.
"Mihawk.. It's been a while" You finally speak, the Warlord nodding in agreement. Silence falling over you two again.
"Oh for God's sake. Alucare sit down please, we are going to get this out" You said, Hearing the shuffle of your son moving from his spot and sitting next to you. You couldn't help but stare in awe- The two sitting across from each other made it seem like they were looking at some odd mirror, they looked almost identical except for the age and minor changes.
"Mihawk this is Alucare, your son. As we can clearly can see. Alucare this is your father Dracule Mihawk"
You introduce, swallowing thickly as the two continued to stare at each other. Silence falling again over you all, Mihawk sighed and rubbed his temple. Turning his eyes away from this odd sort of staring contest.
"Alucare.. That's a good name.. How old are you?" Mihawk asked, staring at his child for a moment before Alucare looked away.
"I'm 16..." He said softly, Mihawk nodding at this before his eyes landed on you.
"How come you didn't tell me- I would have been here, helped you. I have a home and more" He asked, his eyebrows betraying him in pure confusion and he frowned. You sighed and rubbed the back of your neck.
"I was scared- How would it look like if some random person claimed to have some famed Warlords child.." You mumbled, still embarrassed by the whole ordeal. "Besides it wasn't even until after are alleyway escapades that I understood who you were-"
"I see..." Mihawk sighed as he stared at Alucare again, who seemed to grow a bit uncomforble at the direction of this conversation.
"Alucare do you wish to ask something of your father?-" You encouraged. Wanting to create a olive branch between the two.
"What is there me to ask? It's not like it's a secret that we are related or his reputation. The only thing I would wonder is how you found out about us-" Alucare said a bit dismissively, you felt genuine surprise at this. He had never shown anyone disrespect before until now-
"There were rumors of you that traveled to a Marine Base I was at- how a child looked like the famed Mihawk... eyes and all" Mihawk clarified. Alucare only rolling his matching yellow eyes at this, standing up from his seat.
"I'll be dismissing myself. Thanks for the talk" He said calmly, walking out the back door and slamming it shut behind him. You sighed and looked to Mihawk
"Hes normally not like that, I don't know what to say" You admit. But the Warlord just stood up with a understanding nod.
"Hes angry... that I understood.. I'll return" He said before following out the back door as well.
Standing by the grove of trees next to the house Alucare let the cool blade of the knives brush over his fingers, sighing as he quickly released the blade at lightning speed at the carved target on the old tree hitting bulls eye. Alucare walking to retrieve the lone blade and repeat the process.
"Impressive shot-" The deep voice only belonging to Mihawk sounded behind the teen. Alucare glancing back at the man as he resumed his position and went back to throwing his blade.
"Thanks I suppose-" Alucare mumbled as he continued to task. Mihawk sighing softly as he glanced at the sky.
"What is the true reason you resent me- One that you don't wish to express with your mother around" He finally asked, staring at the sky. Alucare faltering in his movements for a moment, keeping the blade in his hands for a moment.
"If you had been anyone else she wouldn't have had to suffer so much-" He admitted, his eyes showing a deep sadness as he sighed "I saw the way they looked at her, despite her smiling and ignoring it.. how she acted as a human shield for me. Because we share blood- How she would sit on the bed after working day and night to put that home over our head... how tired she was and then emotionally carying the brunt of people looking at her in either pity, fear otlr disgust for my sake"
He admitted, throwing the blade once again watching the blade stick deeply into the tree the handle being the only thing that showed. Mihawk quietly listened and clenched his hands.
"I understand... if I had known I would have protected her... I would have protected you- Nothing I can say can make up for 16 years of hardship... but I do apologize" Mihawk said, bowing his head gently.
Alucare looked at him silently for a moment. Looking away for a moment and went to grab the blade.
"...How do you sharpen a blade-" Alucare asked, In his own way accepting Mihawk apology and extending a form of communication. Mihawk gave a hint of a smile on his lips as he stepped forward.
"I can show you-"
Tag List-
For all the people who requested Pt. 2
@lunanight1021 @lolavegas20 @cuteastrash @thatcharmingmushroom @marsilis @thesadvampire @amecchii @zaphira-san @matronofthevoid @mothmans-left-nipple
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Note
I don't know if you accept requests, but I'm going to risk it. Did you see the last photo of Harry Collett and Tom Taylor (the future Cregan Stark)? Could you write a Harry/Jace x reader x Tom/Cregan threesome? I'm obsessed with them
Push & Pull
It's basically Lannister tradition to create a scandal on your nameday, or maybe that's just you.
Jacaerys Velaryon x Lannister!Reader x Cregan Stark | 1k+ | cw: fem!reader, jealousy?, am I the drama!YN, typos, etc.
A/N: hello nonnie! i do take requests, but i dont explicitly state it because ive been having a hard time writing. i had an idea for a jace fic when you sent this, so it felt really timely, but then that fic i went to die 💀✋ so im tryna revive my spark writing smth else. i know you said a threesome but i just 💔 the best i can do is them tryna one up each other. I AM SO HYPE FOR THEM FR FR but i didnt really see the actors' photo together, just them in the trailer
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"Is that the older Velaryon boy?" I mutter to my brother in between taking a sip of wine.
Jason turns where I'm looking and takes a sip of his own wine, "indeed."
"He's rather easy on the eyes, isn't he," I smile at my Jason.
He raises a brow, "and you are rather engaged, aren't you?"
"Engaged to be engaged," I shrug, looking around the room again, "and I do not even see our man of the hour anywhere."
"Lord Stark is travelling here from Winterfell. One would expect him to be late."
"Are you not the same brother of mine that said impressions have their weight in gold?"
Jason narrows his eyes, "clearly that was Tyland."
I roll my eyes at him and look away. I quickly turn back to Jason after I notice something, "oh, look. He's coming over."
"Lady Lannister."
I avert my gaze from my brother, to Prince Jacaerys Velaryon, who gives me a nod in regard.
"My prince," I smile and curtsy.
He smiles back then turns to my brother, "Lord Lannister."
Jason raises a brow and nods curtly.
"If your sister will allow it," Jacaerys turns to me, "I would like to ask her for a dance."
I giggle under my breath. I share a look with my brother. Jason assesses my expression before turning back to the dark haired man, "my sister is not accepting dances this moment."
I turn to Jacaerys as he gives me a questioning look, "may I enquire why?"
"I hurt my ankle," I mutter, "whilst getting off the carriage."
Jacaerys' forehead visibly wrinkles, "you took a carriage here?"
I purse my lips into a soft smile, "I did."
"To Casterly Rock?"
"I was visiting a lady friend who lives not too far from here."
"... I see."
Just as Jacaerys says this, the doors open, and Lord Cregan Stark's arrival is announced as he walks in. As he swaggers in, I am struck by a delicious idea.
"On second thought, my prince," I extend a hand, "my ankle is feeling rather better now."
I feel my brother give me a dirty look, but before he can say anything, I am whisked away for a dance.
Jacaerys leads me as we dance, holding my hand firmly as we glide across the floor, and pulling me closer than what was needed when the movement called for it.
The truth was, I didn't mind it, but there was nothing I loved more than putting a man in his place.
"You're being quite familiar with your touches, Jacaerys," I mutter when we as close enough.
I see his eyes light up when I call him by his first name. He chuckles, "can you blame me for wanting to be so?"
I hum as he spins me around, "I doubt many refuse your advances anyway, with the life of a princess up for prize."
Jacaerys ends up behind me as we continue with the dance. I feel his breathing as we continue with the next steps. Once we pull away and face each other again, I speak, "it is an honor to be the first."
Jacaerys looks at me in confusion when I curtsy rather than take his hand. I smile, "I have another waiting on me," then walk away.
It doesn't take long for me to weave my way out of the dancing bodies, nor to find the said person waiting for me.
I press my lips together into a soft smile as I approach the towering man, "Lord Stark."
Cregan nods and extends a hand, "my lady."
I take his hand and smile when he kisses my knuckles, "I do hope your travels were safe."
Cregan straightens up and tilts his head, "safe?"
He takes a step forward and brushes my knuckles, "I arrived to see my future bride ensnared in the jaws of a dragon."
I clasp my hands together and raise a brow, " I believe the Velaryon's sigil is that of a seahorse."
"And I believe he is set to inherit the throne after his mother, the king's appointed heir."
I purse my lips and lock eyes with Jacaerys from across the room. A moment later, I turn back to Cregan and smile, "political talk has always bored me."
He shifts on one leg, "I would not bore you on your nameday."
"Then dance with me."
Cregan takes a second, then offers me a hand.
Not a moment later, the two of us are dancing with the rest of the crowd. Cregan is much more wary with his touch, more courteous, and modest.
I cannot help but tease him with lingering touches and with the bat of my lashes, "you are surprisingly graceful for someone of your stature."
Cregan chuckles, hands gripping my waist with more intention, "perhaps the same could be said about you, my lady."
I raise a brow, "what's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, with your injured ankle and all."
I tilt my head, eyes locked on his as we change partners. I keep my attention locked on Cregan as I come back to him the next measure.
"How do you know that?"
He tucks my hair behind my ear, "your brother told me as you danced with Jacaerys Velaryon, how you humored him, despite your reluctance."
We spin around and switch partners again.
This time, I cannot keep my attention on Cregan as I find myself face to face with Jacaerys, himself.
He immediately speaks, "I did not know you were waiting upon Cregan Stark."
I do the steps with him and purse my lips, "why would you need to know who I wait upon?"
"I thought I made it clear," the corner of his lips quirk, "I wish to be familiar."
I chuckle, taken slightly off guard, "and I thought I made it clear that I did not."
Jacaerys' hold on my hip lingers, "did you?"
My breath hitches when he pulls me flush against his chest, arms around my waist as we twirl. He breaks away, seconds too long, and we change partners again.
Except I don't, and neither does Jacaerys, for then the music finds its completion. We stand in front of each other, staring, as the rest of the room breaks into applause.
"I would like to share another dance with you, my lady," says Jacaerys.
"She is already spoken for," another answers for me.
I peer up at Cregan as he comes between us. He blankly stares at Jacaerys. It lingers and becomes rather painful. Eventually, he gives him a nod in regard, "your grace."
"Lord Stark," Jacaerys clenches his jaw before nodding back.
I stare at them as they stare at each other for another prolonged moment. I purse my lips then sigh, "I am actually feeling rather parched. Would you two boys like to pour me a drink?"
The two of them turn to me, but before they could respond, I'm already heading off to the banquet table. My brother's eyes shoot daggers at me as I approach.
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queer-for-science · 2 years
Text
One of my closest friends I aroace, and he's talked to me about the experience of being made to feel like he's missing out on something or getting left behind in a way when his loved ones enter romantic relationships. But it really hit home for me how much he deals with and expects this recently when I started dating someone new after being single for a few months and I wanted to share.
During the months I was single, we got a lot closer and we both relied on each other more to have our needs for love fulfilled. For example, we both have physical touch as a primary love language, so we did a lot of platonic physical affection and cuddling. We became main supports in each other's lives even more than before. But the day I told my friend about my new partner and my friend met him, he seemed to kind of instantly back off a bit. He and my partner get along really, really well too. He mentioned that he didnt expect my partner and I to make the hour drive to visit him as often because "it's not like the nature of y'alls relationship". I'm having difficulty explaining, but it was apparent that my friend expected to be taking a back seat to this new relationship in my life despite the fact that I know my friend way better and that broke my heart a bit. I immediately thought, how many times has he had to deal with that? How many beloved friends has he lost to this situation? That must be so horrible to go through! I still very much consider him one of my closest supports and while I know it would never be a necessary choice I would absolutely choose him over a partner I haven't had nearly as much time with. I really want to find a way to tell him that he isn't any less of a priority to me just because I'm not single anymore and I think it's important for us alloromantics to remind our aro and aroace friends of things like that. It's even more important to stick to that statement and show them we mean it.
My aroace friends, you deserve people in your life that prioritize you and engage in the kinds of intimacy you need. You deserve just as much closeness and love as anyone else and you will find it if thats what you want. You don't deserve being put on the back burner when your loved ones get into new romantic relationships and it's really shitty that so many people do that.
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professor-beaker · 4 months
Text
(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)
Dear mom and dad,
Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.
I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.
Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.
Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.
Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.
I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.
Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.
Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.
Because i finally didnt feel broken.
I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?
I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.
I hope you realize im still human.
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sturnsslut · 5 months
Text
sleepover - chris sturniolo
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a/n : not much but leave suggestions, i’ll write almost anything + lowercase intended !!
warnings - dom!chris x sub!reader , pet names, teasing, swearing, fingering, p in v, unprotected sex, slight choking, sneaky
——————————————————————————
‘ i feel you inside , no better feeling ‘
me and nick sturniolo had been best friends for almost 4 years now , and i had the BIGGEST crush on his brother , chris. of course i would never tell him , but i had a feeling he already sorta knew . ever since i told nick about my crush on chris , he has been teasing me NON STOP about it for almost 2 years. and he's always feeding into my delusions , even tho im trying to get over him.
anyway nick is constantly telling me how chris is always asking when im coming over next, how he's always talking about me , how he's starring at me when im not looking, things like that.
i don't believe any of it, but i wish. anyways i was bored, and it was Saturday so i thought i could call nick to have him come over so we could hangout , because if i saw chris, this whole " getting over him " thing would go right back to stage one. i got out my phone and pulled up nicks contact to invite him to come over , because ill be damned if all a bitch does is watch netflix alone on a saturday night.
iMessage
twin 💗 - nick
me - (you obv) 😭
me
NICKKK
i miss you sm
can you come over pls
i wanna hangout
twin 💗
TWIN I MISS YOUUU
I would but matt isn't here
so there isn't anyone to drive me
you can come over here thoooo
fuck. i tossed my phone to the side and let out a loud sigh , why can't anything work out in my favor ?? i picked up my phone and texted back nick.
me
well maybe you should get a license 😒
IM JUST KIDDINGGGG
twin 💗
Shut up bitch
you don't have one either
now come onnn
you can see ur man 😱
me
i hate you
im omw
twin 💗
😘
i texted my older brother and asked him if he could take me to nicks, which i didn't want to because he was at work and i didnt wanna wait but, oh well. he said he'd take me and so about an hour later he came home and told me he was waiting outside.
i threw on whatever, not really caring considering the fact i thought i was going to be in nicks room the entire time i was there. i put on blue plaid pajama pants and a black crop top with an oversized grey jacket, and some random slippers.
i packed my bag and ran outside, thanking him for the ride. a few minutes later i was at the sturniolos house.
i knocked on the door expecting nick, but of fucking course , it was chris.
" um hey." i said awkwardly, looking down at him.
"hey pretty. nicks in his room" he replied and opened the door further for me to walk in. i brushed past him and accidentally got a little too close. like i touched his dick type of too close.
i heard him groan silently as i walked past, making my way to nicks room.
fast forward a few hours , me and nick were watching a movie when he passed out.
i was gonna go and hangout with matt, but then i remembered he still wasn't back yet from wherever the fuck he was at, so with nothing else to do, i just decided to go to sleep right alongside nick.
i remember randomly waking up around 2AM for no reason but feeling hungry, so i made my way to the kitchen and got a freezer meal or wtv tf
i heat it up in the microwave and while i'm waiting , i decide to just get comfortable and lean on the counter while i scroll on my phone.
i'm about to shut off my phone when i hear something "nick?" i whisper shouted because i was slightly startled by the noise
there was no answer , i just shrug my shoulders and continue scrolling on my phone, when i suddenly feel two warm hands on my waist.
i jumped but not enough to move, i turn around to chris with his hands resting on my waist , looking at me with an indescribable look.
"what..are you doing?" i said flustered, turning my head to look at him , but again not enough to move our bodies any further apart.
"nothing..just can't sleep." he replied
god , his sleepy voice was literally going to make me bust.
" okay.." i say confused and go back to scrolling on my phone. i feel him rest his head on shoulder
" what are you watching "
" just t.." my voice trailed off as i realized i could feel that he had a big ass boner, and he was wearing only sweatpants
i struggled to get my words out because of the situation i was in, so i just ignored the question.
i felt him smirk and her closer to me, him getting more hard the closer he gets, with his hands still on my waist.
"what..you like the way this feels mama?" he says slipping his hands down into the front of my pants, but not fully.
“i.." i could barley speak due to the uncontrollable amount of flips my stomach was doing
"use your words ma." he says getting closer to me, his boner now fully on my ass
i'm gonna bust was literally my thought process. i was nervous, but of course im gonna do what he tells to.
"yea.." i say now slightly arching my back
he turns me to face him, so now im leaning against the counter and facing chris.
he takes one of his hands and guides it up to my face, "do you really."
"yeah" i let out a breathy moan and he smirks leaning closer to me, holy shit. no way this is happening.
he kisses me and i kiss him, he moves his hand down to my neck as we make out, the kiss turns into a sloppy make out, and he picks me up and i wrap my legs around him, he sets me on the counter so im perfectly aligned with his waist, as we're still making out
he starts leaving kisses on my neck and i grab his hair as he does so, leaving a trail of hickeys.
“ fuck " i slightly whisper , this felt so good.
he stopped for a moment before placing one hand on my waist and the other in my pants
" you ready ?" i nodded desperately, not being able to use my words because of how badly i needed him.
he stuck two fingers inside of me and i grabbed onto the back of his shirt in pleasure
" damn ma your so wet ..all for me? how long have you been waiting for this mama "
i nodded, physically not being able to speak because of how good his fingers felt inside me.
“ use your words. how long. " he demanded , grabbing my chin making me look him in the eyes
i paused, not wanting to me too loud. " damn ma, you like how i touch you that much you can't speak ?"
" t..two years " i struggled to push out those simple words. this man knew what he was doing with his hands.
" come on baby, if you were horny you could've told me. i would've helped you with ease. " he said, stopping for a second
" i didn't think you were into me. " i admitted
" really? i thought it was obvious. everytime you came over to see nick i would get hard just looking at you..i've been waiting for this moment a while to ma. "
he moved his fingers in and out of me again without warning, and i moaned a little too loud.
"watch your volume pretty girl..i'd hate for me to have to stop cause you couldn't control yourself "
i nodded agreeably, and trust me when i listened. i'd waited for this moment almost 2 years , i wasn't gonna let anything ruin it.
his fingers continued to move in and out of me at a rapid pace for another 2 minutes , and i felt myself start to get close
"chris...i'm close" that's when he took his fingers out of me and i caught my breath for a moment.
he took his dick out of his pants and it sprung out instantly. when i looked down, my jaw dropped.
he was easily a good 9 inches, and that was just a guess. i'm so screwed.
he stroked himself and laughed when he saw the look of surprise on my face. " what ? all your other little boyfriends had a small cock ?" he teased
i pulled my pants down further so chris had easier access. he got closer, until our noses were basically touching. "you ready ma" i nodded eagerly , because of how close we were, i felt his cock literally in between my thighs. " yes, yes i am just please fuck me " he smirked and put one of his hands on my waist , the other holding his dick. "you sure?" he asked me again, me giving the same answer.
and with that, he shoved in only 7 inches , just to see if i could take him or not. i gasped but covered my mouth because i remember what he said about keeping quiet.
" good girl " he smirked at me again, then shoving the entire 9 inches in me. i put my hands under his shirt, leaving scratches all down his back
" fuck mama..your so tight" he said pausing in between sentences
i could barley speak, but i wanted more. i managed to get two words out , "faster..please" i begged
" more already? alright ma..."
he thrusted in and out of me even faster than before, about a minute goes by before i felt that knot build up in my stomach.
" chris.." i paused before my next sentence, remembering that i had to be quiet "im close."
“ not yet pretty girl.. please- mmm fuck you feel so good. "
i giggled slightly, before telling him how we should switch positions if he didn't want me to finish so soon.
" you got it mama. " and with that, he took me off of the counter and set me down, bending me over the counter instead.
he grabs my hips and lines me up, " you ready? you know i just gotta ask" he asks
i could feel his tip touching me, he was definitely teasing. well if he wants to tease..i can do it to.
"hm not yet..i need to catch my breath" i teased and move my waist slightly, feeling his tip against me
" how bout now?" he asks eagerly
"i don't know .." i answer, he's like a needy child , how cute
" mama please ..i need you so bad. "
" im ready " and with that he slams his entire 9 inch dick inside of me , going faster than before
" you think it's funny for you to tease me ? is it because you know you take me so well ?"
his sleepy voice..fuck.
" fuck..sorry" i say , i couldn't even think cause he was fucking me so good.
he grabbed my neck from behind and thrusted faster , that's when i knew i was close.
" chris , i cant ..im gonna-" im cut off by my release , letting it all go , and man i came hard.
“i’m almost there ma...in or out"
i mean, i was on the pill. " in , cum inside me please."
" mm..you got it pretty " he releases , and i feel his warm cum inside me , best feeling ever btw.
now we're both just leaning against the counter , heavy breathing, sweaty, looking at each other " you took me so good mama."
this man was really tryna make me nut for a 2nd time huh..i grabbed the food id forgotten about out of the microwave and made my way back to nicks room.
" goodnight chris. " i say with a smirk " goodnight ma." he says smirking back at me
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a/n: umm !! don’t know if i like this but i have something coming soon for the matt girlies 🤗
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h3arts4harry · 1 month
Text
- privilege -
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- one - two -
based on 'privilege' by the weeknd
warnings: UNRESOLVED ANGST, drugs, death, arguing, toxic friends
chris sturniolo x reader
-
"y/n i cant do this anymore, ive tried i really have but you-" chris backs away from me, struggling to find the words. "chris please, ill get better i-ill cut them all off, i please chris ill do anything" i step forward, tears stream down my face, he backs away again, "chris p-lease" my voice breaks, he shakes his head with swallowing shaking away the tears so desperate to fall "im sorry y/n, i really hate to do this but we're done." i drop to my knees sobbing, my head falling into my hands, chris has to fight himself to not comfort me so he turns to walk out the front door, "fine! LEAVE! ENJOY YOUR PRIVILEGED LIFE! SEE IF I CARE!" i yell, we both know i dont mean it.
chris checks his phone to see if y/n has messaged him but hes heard nothing since that night, not that he wants to hear that shes suffering, hes suffering too. he loved her more than anything in the world but he couldn't stand to see her destroy herself anymore, he tried helping her but she would just brush it off or argue with him.
the breakup hit me hard. i didn't fully realise it yet but it did. i got closer with my new, so called, 'friends' we would do any drugs we could get ahold f and drink til we physically couldnt take it in anymore almost everyday. i called up our dealer james, "sup y/n how you doing?" "i urm, good, i was just calling to see if you had anything on you?" "yea i just picked up some new shit, can see you in like an hour maybe?" "yea sounds good thanks" "aight ill hit you up when im there" "mhm bye" and with that i hang up placing my phone on my nightstand, laying on my back staring at the ceiling, waiting for the time to go past.
"thanks james" i say taking the bag from him "yea no problem, i'erd about your fella, these should be able to help take the blues away" he smirks leaning against my door frame, i nod examining the familiar bag. "imma head out, be safe now. or dont. up to you" he shrugs walking over to his car. i shut the door and head to the kitchen, laying the red pills on the counter before looking for something to crush them with. i pick up my credit card and cut it into lines, rolling up a dollar, then slowly snorting the powder hoping itll make me feel as good as it used to. its never as good as the last.
"just get in the car. you love parties itll be fun trust me" kayla says from the passenger seat, "ugh fine let me just get changed, ill be five minutes" i cave in, turning back into to house, i walk into my bedroom picking up a small black dress off my desk chair swiftly pulling it on, its looser than it used to be but i dont have time to look for another. i slip on black heels to match, running out the car where kayla, james, Allison, and tyler are waiting for me. "finally lets go" Allison says from next to me.
the next goes fast, i dont remember how many drinks ive had. i pull out my phone and dial chris's number while stumbling out into the backyard. "hello?" "c-chris?" "what do you want y/n?" "i-i miss you…chris?" "hm?" "do you miss me too?" "y/n.." "please chris i- i just need- i need to know" my voice breaks, i didnt realise im full blown sobbing into the phone until now"i cant do this. not to me. not to you. y/n please go get help"' "i cant chris! they dont care about me! they dont care about me or anyone but themselves! all i am to them is someone to drink with, smoke with, snort fuck knows what with! i-i cant do it anymore its to much.. they said our love was just a game but- but i dont care, i cant do this without you chris" i can hear his shaky breaths down the phone "y/n.. i tried to help you, for months i tried but you always went back. it hurts to much, i- i need to go" "chris wait please- just let me see you" "no y/n. i dont wanna hear about you suffering anymore. i- i cant." "NO NO PLEASE CHRIS NO WAI-" the small beeps were deafening.
"i know i said i didn't want to hear about you suffering but now if i could go back, i would've said that i couldn't hear you suffer anymore, it was so hard to see you destroy yourself, i thought that if i left you would've got help but i realise now that i shouldve helped you, i should've tried harder, should've forced you-" "but instead im stood here, talking to a headstone- shit." tears fall down his face as he sat kneeling at your grave.
you overdosed that night. you had been found laying there on the cold wet grass of a strangers house, drowning in your tears. because of him.
as much as his brothers constantly reassured him that it wasn't his fault it wasn't enough. chris couldn't feel anything but guilty, as if he had taken her life with his own hands. in his eyes he kind of did, it haunted him that he could've changed the outcome.
-
my first request! thank you for sending it in🫶🫶
ive never actually listened to this song before but i had it on repeat while righting this so i hope it meets your expectations lol
as always feedback is appreciated <333
THANK YOU FOR READING
LOVE YOU POOKIES
taglist:
@m0r94n @sturnzsblog @junnniiieee07 @chrisgetsmewetterxo @raysmayhem-72 @sturniolo-slvt @mattspolitank @cerismo
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payasita · 1 year
Note
Good job getting ADHD medication! I’m so proud of you :D
thanks so so much im very happy and so hopeful for the first time maybe ever but also it TOOK ME LIKE. A YEAR. A YEAR.
like yall for real?? for real. for real i have been diagnosed since i was like six. (funny story my teacher thought i was on the spectrum so my parents get me tested with the nodes and shit and according to mom, who loves this story, my neurologist did all that and talked to me and then just turned to my mom and went "she's not autistic. she just hates the other kids" but they DID find an adhd diagnosis in there so net win for all of us)
diagnosed since i was SIX. on stimulants until i turned 8, and you know why i got off em? my pediatrician retired. we could not find another who would take our low-income insurance. so i just had to rawdog The Rest Of My Fucking Life. diagnosed when i was six. legally neurodivergent for 20 slutty slutty angry years.
and it still took me like. a few months to get a psych appointment. a few weeks to reaffirm my diagnosis as an adult. a few more weeks for another appointment for meds. he doesnt Want to do meds first, because i must have been doing fine without them if its been two decades, right? i got a job and a car and everything. well gee fuckin shittickers Dr. Brain Guy, just WHAT was my alternative? would you prefer i be maladapted to the point of incapacitation; is that what it takes for someone to be considered? i cheated my way through school. every day after work i sit for an hour in my car because i dont have the executive function to stand up and walk the ten steps to my house. garbage just appears around me. i have three empty bags of hot chip and two cans of sprite on my desk as we speak, neither from today. at that point i hadnt had a debit card for six months because that would have required me to Drive To The Bank, a location that was new to me in this area, so i just did everything on credit. is this all normal? is this fine? am i GOOD, actually, Dr. WeirdBrain?
so we cordially agree that yes i should probably be medicated. i want to do a stimulant. he does not want to put me on a stimulant. "stimulants can mess with your heart," he says, "and you're young, you don't want heart problems." i say ok because i dont want to make him think im just looking for narcotics. even though i am. because they WORK. i agree to try some kind of antidepressant.
the antidepressant gives me tachycardia. i go to the emergency room after reading a heartbeat of, oh, 140 bpm, which is about like double what it normally is and juuuust below the You Are Having A Heart Attack threshold. i get to the ER and the doctor there is very obviously convinced i'm a local addict having some sort of episode. it is the most ironic experience i've had all year and i feel an abrupt and all consuming kinship with those birds in australia that will swoop you and peck at your face for seemingly no good reason.
so yeah, we narrow it down to the antidepressant. as it turns out, these particular meds are known to, semi-commonly, Mess With Your Heart. i have my next appointment with my psych and somehow refrain from pecking his eyes out. he puts me on a noreprinephrine inhibitor(iirc) that isnt actually FDA approved to treat ADHD specifically(i DEFINITELY rc) but it IS given to smokers to help them quit. i dont smoke. i may very well fucking start before this whole ordeal is at the point where someone listens to me
it obviously does a combined total of jack and shit, and the man waffles with this one because he has "had success" using it as treatment for other ADHD patients. he ups the dose. twice. three months on the smoker meds, which are also apparently notorious for destroying your appetite, but they didnt even do THAT. no change to the average amount of hot chip on my desk.
he wants to try quelbree after that. i finally tell him i'm tired of this shit and would like to have more than two hours of usable daylight to function before it all falls to uncontrollable youtube shorts binges and a daily experience i like to call The Weighted Nothings and i would very much like to PLEASE. TRY A STIMULANT.
he's been friendly enough with me over these past four or five or whatever months but at this he gets suddenly very very business-baseline. gives me the whole spiel about the north american shortage. gives me a spiel about how i absolutely cannot, under any circumstances, lose or sell this medication, because they will not refill it if i do. i am sitting here wondering if he he's telling the truth about having other ADHD patients at all like ever in his career, and also, am i nuts or should the "don't sell your prescription drugs" bit apply to EVERYTHING? i dont fuckin know man i just live here
he says he wants a urine test first. its scheduled for two weeks out. i take it.
"hey uh, your piss came back with cannabis in it" "well it'd be weirder if it didn't, we are in california and i am a kitchen manager" "you can't have weed if you want adderall" "fine i'll stop" "we'll schedule you another test in a month" "aight bet" it didnt go exactly like that but this is kind of what the vibe between us has devolved into by this point.
anyway i wait a month and get a good grade in piss. i get the meds prescribed. i go to fill out the prescription
all i really need to say to you are the words "prior authorization error" for most of you to get what happened next.
the psych isnt even aware. i wait another month for our next meeting, which was yesterday. i do not yell at him. he tells me to take it up with the pharmacy, and yell at them. i am going to yell at them.
so i go, and guess what, it actually went through a while ago! NO ONE TOLD ME OR DR. FEEL-BAD OVER HERE. but we can't fill it right now because its a controlled substance so come back in a few hours. hey it's ready where the hell are you? TAKE YOUR METH AND GET OUT
anyway i started it today, reorganized my pantry, and fixed the fire alarm in my hallway that's been chirping at me for a week. i no longer have to wear earplugs to bed.
and with my newfound executive function superpowers, i will be spraying my weed-free piss all over Reagan's grave.
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dottybot · 1 year
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Lost housing and almost killed by our landlords
(Twice)
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C*sh app: $dottybot
V*nmo: @dottybot
@translesbo's Paypal: [email protected]
My partner, @translesbo, and I after signing a lease, were put through 2 big gas leaks during times we had planned on and had been close to sleeping in the apartment. The entire time the place made us sick and was hard to breathe in with a strong awful smell and remained unihabitable, causing us to be without a home since July 3rd, 2023 due to it.
We are a brown latine lesbian couple and both trans (her transfem and myself tme cafab) and autistic along with other disabilities, and have 2 esa cats.
The whole time during the lease, the landlord would excuse the lack of cleanliness and poor maintenance of the building with that it was an old building, deny things she once acknowledge, and imply that we were just lying or causing the problems and even giving us trouble with getting out of the lease. But before that it led up to 2 big gas leaks.
To not make the post appear too lengthy, the rest is under a cut.
So the 1st gas leak, we were earlier sure about taking and about to load up the cats with us to all attempt sleeping there for the night, only last minute getting the feeling like we should not bring them and then deciding not to. Once in the apartment, we were there, windows shut the entire time, for 3+ hours. I went from the regular struggle to breath, head pain, and sickly feel to escalating much more and becoming very out of it, struggling to stay awake to beginning to feel so out of control, and I never would have guess we were being poisoned due to the state it had already put me in. Kat only noticed by chance, the smell of gas by the oven, when she was just starting to feel more off, which we otherwise wouldn't have spotted with how strong the place smelled. We were so close to not noticing it at all.
Kat had been barely able to drive but got us to the nearby ER, and doctors confirmed the gas poisoning, and kept us there for 3 or 4 hours through the night until recovered enough, fortunately due to it being short term, we had no lasting damage on our bodies, just both felt very ill the next day, and myself barely able to move I remained sick from it for 3 days.
That morning, Kat had contacted the gas company as the doctors suggested, though they could not do anything as we followed the leases direction and were not notified during the event, so no one but the apartment maintenance would be able to even confirm it happening. However, the fire departmen came with a firetruck, since it was also recommended by the doctor to get the place checked out by them.
The landlord later called, after us updating her of current apartment issues promptly as per lease requirements, and this call she went too far. She kept up with her same tactics but worse. She tried implying either we made up that there was a leak or we intentionally gave ourselves gas poisoning (like we were still very sick from the previous night) and was then many times claiming everything is fine with the maintenance man the landlord insists "he knows what he's doing" and "no one has ever had a problem with him", because we had included our concerns with him-- this guy had tried making kat sound like she overreacted and didn't know anything, kept claiming that "Gas does Not spread" so we should have been fine, not having any effects of poisoning, along with other contrary claims.
Anyways, the landlord lady was very clearly implying she thinks we are liars about there even being a gas leak, implying we didnt contact the gas and fire department which she claimed to "work closely with so they wouldn't lie, because she contacted the places and no one had documentation since maintenance was the only one to witness, it was her word against ours. This is when we realize due to the lease instructions to forgo contact to a third party professional to fix gas leaks, we would not be able to have paper documentation against her to prove it. She even "randomly" asked the name of our previous apartment place, and mentioned threatening like "didnt you have a gas leak there too?" As even more reason to accuse us, and saying she may have to contact our previous apartment place and saying how odd she thinks it was to have another leak, though this one worse,
On the 3rd day, after the 1st leak I was still feeling ill only starting to recover, the 2nd leak happened. this time we had to bring our cats with us, since we had no where else to stay with our previous lease over, and the apartment still uninhabitable and made us both more sickly, and still feared being there.
Earlier in that day, we were reassured multiple times that it was fixed and that "the stove SHOULD be putting out a gas smell for the next hour or 2", and that it means it's "Fixed, working" the maintenance man kept insisting, even the landlord lady was there strongly confirming multiple times it was true because "he Knows what he is doing" again, even confirming therepair was checked later in the day to make sure there was no leak and that it was safe.
We were afraid to go back after the 1st leak after how badly to us at least it seemed to be pouring out earlier in the day and their claim that it was supposed to be that way, but it was the only option we had.
We were unsure if we were just overreacting for a while and imagining the smell, it was several hours laters with all windows having been left open, though eventually calling our gas company this time to get proper documentation and a professional, since the smell had not diminished.
Kat was told by the gas man that gas was shooting out, and he's seen fires breakout from similar.. so we had to get Out.
Which led to us being homeless and having to sleep in the car and soon after, we were fortunately able to stay at Kat's parents house though they do not have space for us, keeping us and our cats in her nephew's small cramped room, with Kat sleeping on a broken bed that is messing with her scoliosis, and me havung to sleep on the floor for over a month now really taking a toll on me. And our cats have been under constant stress, making them require more care and expense.
This whole thing has made me lose my job, has been traumatic for us both, and lose easily over $2,500 into cost of the apartment and our repairs alone, and $250 on an attourney that did not try to help much but was able to get us out of the lease. On top of kat recently being wrongfully stopped by a cop for a made up reason, giving her a $135 ticket, along with having to take a 5 week un paid leave of absence to be able to help deal with our situation. And we can no longer put off car repairs, we have put off this whole year since it sputters most of the time instead of starting now along with other concerning issues.
We have currently been trying to find better jobs and a place to live, though due to the unstable living situation and and loss of income it has been more difficult to find a place.
So, any mutua*aid if you have the means and any reblogs would really help and be appreciated a ton
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veren-cos · 5 months
Text
You Will Be Okay
Astarion (Bg3) x reader
TW: Mentions of Self Harm. Do not read this if this will trigger you or make you uncomfortable. If you struggle with self-harm or suicidal thoughts, I strongly recommend you reach out to someone.
Over 1000 words. Probably. I don't know how to get a word count in my notes app 😭
Not proof read
"I think I hate myself." It slipped out. Fuck. It slipped out, you didn't mean to say that. Not right now. Not when everything was going so well?
Astarion stood there, tensed up. "What?" His face was flickering between concern, and confusion, and... whatever else that was.
You weren't going to repeat it. You couldn't. You were already panicking from saying it once, you couldn't imagine saying it again. Much less having a conversation about this. "I need to go." You said, too loud for talking, but too quiet to be considered a yell.
"OH no you don't" He grabbed you by the wrist as you were turning out the door. "We need to talk about this."
"I can't. No... No. No no no no nonono I can't—I can't do this. I can't do this astarion not today not toda-" You were pulling away, but that only tightened his grip. He pulled you into a hug. And although it was a loose one, it still made you feel trapped.
"Okay. Compromise. You've shown me how important those are." You looked at him, still panicked, but you were willing to hear him out. "You can go. But!"
Of course there was a but.
"only if I come with you. And!"
Another condition?
"Only if we talk about it when we come back. We don't have to talk at all while we are out. I'd prefer it, but it isn't a necessity. I just need you to not be alone. Either way, someone needs to be with you. Whether it's me, or say... one of our other companions? If you don't want this to linger in the air? I'm sure anyone of them would be happy to accompany you for an outing."
He was being. Suprisingly considerate about this. Accommodating. But now was not the time. You needed out, now.
You pulled out of the hug, fast. Not that it wasn't appreciated, but it was starting to feel more suffocating. "Alright. Alright. Okay. Yes. Fine. Good. Great. Awesome!" You felt a touch on your hand again. "Okay. Hoooo" you let out a breath. Then took a few more deep ones. "I'll take Gale. Is that okay? I mean you can come too but I really, really don't want to talk about this and if you're there I know I'll want to and I really can't." Your words were getting faster the more that came out. You took another breath, "But I will when we get back. Okay?"
"Okay. Be safe, I'll be around. I love you" Astarion sqeezed your hand tight, and then let go. He followed you and Gale out of camp, grateful (for once) that you and him were close.
Once Astarion saw you and Gale off, he made his way back his tent. Considering you weren't feeling the best, he knew he had roughly an hour to prepare.
You hated yourself? Blasphemy. Well... not blasphemy. He had seen you, the faint scars in the most random of places. Places that would be too well protected to be done by an enemy. The scars and cuts—just deep enough to have been recent, the constant torn skin around your fingertips. So he supposed he should have already known, but he didnt know you still felt this way.
He had plenty of experience hating himself, but he didn't dwell on it like you did. He swallowed his hatred and turned to bad habits - habits you were helping him fix. Now it was his turn to help you.
He had begun by cleaning. It wasn't necessarily messy, but he had seen your belongings and how they had gotten out of order. Once everything was in its proper place, he started to plan how to tackle this.
It wasn't something to be taken lightly, and it wasn't something that would be solved in a day. This conversation was a start, but it certainly wouldn't be the end. What did he bring up? How much could you handle? Did he mention that he had his suspicions, or did he leave that alone? Gods, this was hard. You've seemed so put together on your journey that he thought this was resolved a long time ago. When was the last time you'd hurt yourself?
Nothing much got accomplished in that hour, not that he could without you there. And before he knew it, you were home.
You sat down on a cushion, not having the luxury of a chair at the moment, and looked into Astarion's eyes. You knew you had to be the one to start this conversation. You knew it, but that doesn't mean you had to like it.
"Thank you," Astarion raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "for giving me space."
He gave a light smile, "of course. You have done the same for me countless times, and I know how hard these things can be. I will never pressure you into an immediate conversation. But, my dear, we need to talk about this. You can't be hating yourself. You are wonderful. I know some simple words of praise won't wash this away, but I need you to know that you are good."
Astarion came to sit next to you, close enough where you could feel his presence, but not be overwhelmed.
Feelings were bubbling up. Everything was coming up. You could feel tears start to stream down your face, falling whenever your breath shook your entire body with force. "I just hate everything. I hate myself. So much. Astarion, you don't know what things were like for me before. I was pitiful. You wouldn't have even spared me a thought."
You inturupted yourself with near hysterical sobbing. The thought of not being with him was too much to bear with all your emotions. "Go on. It's safe. You are safe here" He placed his hand atop yours and gave it a squeeze, like earlier.
"I. Uhm. I used cut myself. A lot. I know you've seen the reminents of it. I just." You took a minute to catch your breath before continuing. "I just couldn't tell you. Because there wasn't even a good reason for it."
"I didn't like the way I felt. I didn't like the way I looked. The way I acted? I felt like such a burden to everyone. And now I'm such a burden to you? And I know you'll just say that I'm not, but I should have been able to resolve this on my own. If I'd had my way, you would have never found out and thought my scars were from some brave battle. It wasn't a brave battle. It was self loathing."
You took another crying break. How long was this going to go on? How much of your guts would you spill before you broke?
"And I still think of it. All the time. I still hate myself. I still feel the urge to destroy myself in the only way I know how. But I can't afford to. I'm trying so hard to stay put together for everyone here. I want you all to live. But I really don't want that for myself."
Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit shit, shit! Well now he knows everything. No turning back. Not that there was before, but your in too deep to even try and bury this.
He was sitting in front of you. You saw he was taking in everything you were saying at lighting speed, but you couldn't tell what he was thinking. He just kept rubbing circles into your palm, and handing you tissues at the appropriate moments.
You paused a bit too long for it to be considered normal in a conversation, so he urged you to continue. "Darling, I won't judge. It's okay, you can keep going."
You once again took some deep breaths. "I uhm... I tried to kill myself a while back? It didn't work, clearly, but the thought of it never truly went away. I uhm.
...
I still.. want to? And it's not that I'm unhappy, don't get me wrong! Every moment of joy has been genuine. But it's all being muffled by a blanket of sorrow and despair? That is dramatic oh hells. But yeah. I think uh. I think it's all out now?"
You sighed, both scared and relieved. You didn't want him to think that you didn't love him just because you didn't want to be here. You loved him so much it was probably one of the few things keeping you. Not that you would tell him. That is too much of a burden to put on one person.
So this is what you've been thinking. It explained a lot. The seemingly random guilty looks, and the distance whenever he tried to get closer. He had stopped pursuing you as a form of protection and deceit a while ago, but he had always thought that was the reason for your distance.
Now it was his turn for the big breaths. "My love." He drawled out the endearment. "It's okay. You're okay. We will get through this. You will get through this. Can I hug you?"
You nodded before he grasped you tightly.
"I'm right here. And I will be with you every step. Every setback you have. You can fall back on me"
He stroked through your hair once again, holding you tight into his chest, "Thank you for telling me. Now, this will be something that comes up every once in a while, okay? I know it won't be a comfortable topic but check-ins are necessary. I need to know how you're doing, because," He paused just enough for dramatic flair, "Whatever would we do without our fearless leader!"
It had managed to calm your tears, if only a little. Just what he had hoped for. The smallest laugh that escaped your breath was music to his ears, even between the hics and gasps as you recovered your breath.
"I just want you to know that I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. The feeling comes and goes. And right now is just a time where I need to be around people more. I need more support. But I'll be okay. So if you'll still have me..?"
Ugh, Idiot! Why would you say that last bit. He would never-
"I would never leave you over this darling! What do you take me for? If anything, this is just an excuse for me to constantly drape my arms around you. Whisper into your ear..."
He stands up and struts behind you. Wrapping his arms around you, he whispers, "tell you how much I care. How much I love you." And you smiled. Hells, you let out a laugh.
"See aren't I just amazing? Can make your mood with just a few words. I love you." He smirked, letting out the last bit of tense breath against your neck as he set his head on your shoulder. "I love you," he whispered again.
"I love you too, Astarion"
That day, he didn't let you go once. He stayed right by your side. You went out of your tent for dinner, and found that while you napped, Astarion told Gale to make your favorite. You don't often get nights of calm, but despite the rocky start, today was good.
Things were said, and things were learned, but everything would be okay.
You will be okay.
Author's Note: Please, once again, if you struggle with self harm or suicidal thoughts, reach out to someone. Things do get better, I promise you. There are many help lines and local resources, a quick search on Google will pull them all up.
If there is a way I can better phrase the trigger warning, please let me know. No one had any suggestions on my last one, so I'm going to assume that it was okay.
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intynidad · 1 year
Note
I love the cult Yandere fics you have done! They’re really well written and a joy for me to read!
I’m curious what you think what would happen if the reader came down with a terrible illness? How would the cult members feel or react?
Thanks for reading this and I hope you are having a wonderful day/night ^_^
Im glad you guys liked the yandere cult serie! This might be a little short
Warning: not really yandere but just in case?? , mention fainting, cult things, looking at somebody sleep
It was a seemingly ordinary evening within the cult, with most of the followers diligently tending to their tasks in the fields. However, a sense of curiosity and concern started to circulate among them as they noticed your absence.
"Have any of you seen our esteemed leader, Y/N?" a young woman inquired, her brow furrowing with worry. "They are usually up and about by this time."
A discussion ensued among the group, each member expressing their willingness to check on you. Voices overlapped as they debated who should have the honor and responsibility of ensuring your well-being.
"I believe I should go and see if they are alright," one voice asserted confidently.
"Why should you be the one to check on them?" another voice chimed in, challenging the first.
A third voice joined the debate, its tone filled with determination. "I have a closer bond with our leader. It should be me who goes to inquire about their well-being."
The exchange quickly escalated as more voices joined the fray, each passionately arguing why they were the most suitable candidate to fulfill this important task. The once calm and serene atmosphere in the cult now buzzed with the intensity of their determination to reach you.
"No, I should be the one to go!"
"Wait, I've known our leader the longest! It's my duty to check on them!"
The voices blended together, rising and falling in a cacophony of competing interests. Each follower believed they possessed a unique connection with you, and their ardor to fulfill this duty was evident.
The fields that were buzzing with work a few moments ago came to a halt, that is until a lone figure emerged from the central tent.
“Oh great leader!We were worried about you!”- one voice exclaimed with glee and with that, the fight stopped and all of the followers were around you.
As the cacophony of voices surrounded you, a disoriented feeling washed over you. Your head felt hot, and your stomach churned with unease. Strangely, you couldn't recognize any of the voices that were engaged in the fervent debate.
You tried to make sense of it all, desperately searching for familiar faces or even a trace of recognition. But amidst the fervor and the overwhelming flood of voices, it seemed impossible to pinpoint a source of familiarity.
The last thing you remember was a series of screams as you closed your eyes and your legs gave up
….
When you woke up you where in your bed, a damp cloth on your forehead and a note by your bedside…well several notes one your bedside
You picked one that was written in a more formal way and didnt had any hearts drawn on them
“Dear leader, i am the medic on duty, at the time im writing this letter you been asleep for 2 hours and i can’t stay on your tent any longer without the rest of your followers skinning me alive.
Please take the glass of water next to this note and take some of the herbal medicine i prepare, ill check on you when i get the time
I love you
Rest well”
You decided to ignore the last part of the note and take your medicine unaware of the abnormal large shadow that extend next to your pillow.
After taking the herbal medicine, you went back to sleep unaware of the darkness that started to consume your tent, only when you were sleep a figure emerged from the pool of shadow and tower over your sleeping form
“My poor little lamb…” the figure says in a almost undetectable whisper.
Their clawed hand looms over your cheek but as it got closer it just went right through it
“Not yet” the figure says “but soon”
Since they managed to contact one of the followers with the promise of you as a prize if they worshiped him, things were finally starting to change
The chains that bind them to their realm were ever more weak, after all they couldn’t project themself as a shadow into your realm before…
They gave you one last look and a small “kiss” to your forehead (even thought it went right through you), you deserved to rest
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Aita for coughing while being sick?
So this will be short and sweet.
For the last week and half I (20nb) have been sick. My partner (22nb) got me sick when they were sick before hand. We don't know what this sickness is but my partner had it mostly in their nose and throat while mine is mostly in my throat and chest. As a result, we both had/have a cough as part of our sickness. Their cough was mild and gone after the worst of the sickness. Mine has been a constant. I have been coughing up flem for a week now. It's gross and I have to do the hard coughs to feel like I'm getting it out of my throat and chest. I've had coughing fits so hard I've thrown up. It constantly feels like water is going down the wrong pipe so I cough.
Obviously coughing for almost 2 weeks gets annoying fast and my partner very nicely (read: passively angrily) told me it was starting to get annoying to hear me cough every couple of mins and I should be on meds. I have a very complicated relationship with medication and can't take the cold destroyer massive pills so I take the liquid meds that don't do as much and run out fast. They don't stop the coughing but it takes them from every 2 to 5 mins to every 10 to 20 mins which is good enough for me. I also don't like to take medicine unless I absolutely need It/cant exist without it so I dont take the meds every 4 hours like requested. I also have IBS and the meds fuck with it and I don't want constant tummy issues and pain.
My coughing dose occasionally and obviously get painful so I take meds when it hurts, im having more than one coughing fit a day or the coughing is really bad. Day by day my no-coughing window extends so it'll be gone soon, i just need to tough it out. My partners patience is slowly running out though and on the days we're both home (very rare, 2 or 3 times a week), they'll push me to take my meds consistently then constantly ask me if I've taken them. Honestly, it's irritating and like they don't respect my comfortability with medicine. I get it, constant coughing is irritating but I obviously can't make it go away or else I would, as "grating" as hearing me cough is, it's more annoying and also painful to be the one constantly coughing. Unless I need it, I won't take it. I don't feel like coughing once every 30 mins is a need-meds rate and I feel like they are over reacting to my coughing when I didnt say a word before to them about theirs. I'm not shaking the house with hard loud over exaggerated coughs, it's a few here and there and as I need to. I told them to lay off the meds issue after two days of meds talk because it was making me uncomfortable and they stopped but they still occasionally glare at me when I cough. It's not like the house is dead silent and my coughing is breaking their focus, it just seems like something they are obsessing over that I can't help nor really change. They have the option to go to another room or turn on music or something but they wanna be near me and cuddle and part of that includes the coughing rn.
So, am I the asshole for coughing and not taking medicine I don't feel comfortable taking just because my occasional coughing is "driving my partner insane"?
This issue will have passed before this even comes out but I'm just curious if I'm being sort of an ass by not wanting to take meds I don't nessesarily need.
What are these acronyms?
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