#if u saw the last post before i deleted it..

[jeffdakillax3]

misc stuff

mainly scribbles bleeeghghhh trying to learn how 2 draw clef

[izzy-b-hands]

im ngl i had a lil breakdown before my shower (which i took just before i went to bed to chill and watch the new eps) abt some thought-id-already-worked-all-thru-it irl stuff that resurfaced on me like trauma tends to and i just

it made everything in the show so. I don't know how to say it right. but i feel seen and understood and emotionally overwhelmed in a safe yet weird way, just like i did with a lot of s1 and I am Feeling So Much akdnfkgb (i cannot stress enough that this is a Good Thing and I'm absolutely thrilled and happy with the new eps and like. Going to be fine mentally I just gotta wrangle this like i have the times before.)

[f4kef4ngs]

just had chili crisp on rice for the first time it was so beautiful

[solpng]

gm

[jo-com]

hello🎀

i read your fics,and girllllll they're so good.

I just wanted to make a request for a Carlos Sainz x fem reader. So the topic is yn and carlos are friends who have secret crush on each other. Basically, friends to lovers. But yn is not a famous person,she's just a normal girl💁‍♀️

and pls no smut 😔🙏

just fluff🤕✊

୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 ⋅ ☆ ➛Best Friend Material?

Carlos Sainz x Fem!reader

Summary: Based off the request above!

Genre: Friends to lovers! Major fluff

Note: Sorry for not making this earlier, I’ve been busy😭 also thanks for requesting!! There are some grammatical errors.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ➛ My Masterlist

─────── ─ ೀ 🍨 ‧ ˚─ ───────

Liked by Carlossainz55, urbff, and 2,357 others

Just/yn Beach day with idk who

View all comments

Carlossainz55 I shouldn’t have come😑

Just/yn Nah you’ll miss me too much😋🩷

Carlossainz55 sure if u say so…

Urbff Just smash already

Comment has been deleted by author

…

With a flustered face, you turned off your phone and threw it over the other side of the couch. Mentally cursing at your best friend. What was she thinking— commenting that on your post.

What if Carlos saw it? Is he going to distance himself or something? What if he feels disgusted? What if— So many what ifs.

Your heart started to race as many thought coursed through your head. Fuck, you’re so screwed.

…

Carlos stared blankly at your post. His eyes blinking abruptly and jaw hanging wide open from shock; He wasn’t imagining things right?

It was clear that he saw your best friend’s comment before getting deleted by you. What does she mean by that? Why would she comment something like that if there weren’t any hints to it?

Carlos let’s out a heavy sigh, “Fuck, i am clearly loosing my mind.”

…

Days go on by as they avoid one another; afraid to talk to each other and make things weird.

The two we’re oblivious about each other’s feelings and your best friend had enough of it. You guys were clearly suffering and was idiotically enough to think that distance would help. Face slap.

So as their cupid, your best friend thought of a plan.

…

“Hey y/n can i borrow your phone”, your friend asked nonchalantly— her body leaning closer to the couch to find comfort

You glared at her laid back figure. Your face scrunched up and eyes narrowing skeptically,“what for?”

“Nothing, just want to send something to myself through your phone” she shrugged, answering as if her request was normal.

You were hesitant at first but as your friend, you trusted her not to do something crazy like last time. So you grabbed your phone from the side and handed it to her.

“Here, don’t do stupid shit, okay?”

F/n rolled her eyes and took your phone. “Yeah yeah” she replied, waving off her hand and then opening your phone.

With a sly grin, she went to contacts and changed Carlos’s name to hers; making it seem that she was just chatting her and not Carlos.

If this doesn’t work, i don’t know what will.

…

➛ Messages (Y/n and Carlos)

…

After that, they soon hit it off and started dating— they later found out that it was all f/n’s doing. They were both furious and grateful;

I am happy to say that they went and soon live a romantic life— just like those in fairy tales.

…

Liked by Urbff, Carlossainz55 and 1,389 others

Just/yn Happy 4th anniversary mi amour💕💞

View all comments

Carlossainz55 I love you so much mi vida😍

Just/yn I love you more carlitos💗

Urbff Fucking finally

…

I had so much fun making these!! I hope this was okay and that you enjoyed reading itt!! Always enjoy making requests

[lateatnewyork]

AFTERGLOW PT 2

charlie bushnell x reader

warnings: fluff, smau

summary: pt 2 to afterglow

a/n pt 1 is here

liked by iamcharliebushnell, leahsavajefferies and others yn.ln tryna fight the dating allegations 🤺 view comments

ynloml guys she’s married to me ➔ yn.ln i thought u said u wanted to keep it quiet ➔ ynloml YN??? iamcharliebushnell where are my photo credits ➔ yn.ln photo creds for first pic to him 🙄 walkerscobell so dior js told me u have a picture of me that’s rlly bad ➔ walkerscobell don’t post it ➔ yn.ln don’t piss me off then

liked by walkerscobell, iamcharliebushnell and others yn.ln the last photo is cos u stole my oreos anyway HAPPY BIRTHDAY WALKIE TALKIEEEE view comments

walkerscobell letting this slide cos u got me cool shoes user34 walker has the most goofiest pictures ever ➔ iamcharliebushnell can confirm ➔ yn.ln nuh uh aryan does ➔ aryansimhadri STOP 👏 BULLYING 👏 ME ➔ walkerscobell LMAOOOO hearts4yn oh to be a part of the pjo cast 😔 ➔ ynloml no cos i want them to be my besties too

CHARLIE BUSHNELL AND YN LN DATING? HERES ALL THE PROOF.

Charlie Bushnell was seen with back scratches in Dior Goodjohn’s vlog a day after YN posted that she had gotten her nails done.

Sources say they saw YN with a man who looks a lot like Charlie at the beach. The same day both and YN and Charlie soft launched their significant other at the beach.

YN had posted that she got new white ribbons on her TikTok just a week before this photo was supposedly taken and she also mentioned her newly bought books on her now deleted instagram story. Also in the aforementioned TikTok a voice called out YN’s name in the background. It was a manly voice which sounded a lot like Charlie’s.

READ MORE… comments

user09 leave them tf alone ➔ username they’re literally asking for it by being famous ➔ ynlove i don’t think two 19 year olds are asking for their ‘supposed’ relationship to be stalked username yn is such an attention seeker ➔ hearts4yn u say this as if she cares abt u ➔ username she doesn’t care abt u either ➔ hearts4yn no but at least i’m not hating on someone js cos they’re more successful than me.

liked by iamcharliebushnell, sabrinacarpenter and others yn.ln why’s he so fine 🙈 tagged: iamcharliebushnell comments are closed

liked by yn.ln, walkerscobell and others iamcharliebushnell she kinda… 🔥 tagged: yn.ln comments are closed

liked by leahsavajeffries, ryanreynolds and others yn.ln this is my thirteenth reason why ft inez view comments

ryanreynolds ur a bit too young to be watching that show ➔ yn.ln actually blake let me 🤓 👆 user34 UR CAT IS SO CUTEEE ➔ yn.ln FRR SHES SUCH A LIL CUTIE walkerscobell i wanna steal ur cat ➔ iamcharliebushnell don’t do that ➔ yn.ln real otherwise i will jump u aryansimhadri r u getting more cats? ➔ yn.ln maybe 🤭 user56 CANT BELIEVE YN AND CHARLIE ARE DATING ➔ hearts4yn THEYRE SO IT COUPLE

liked by dior.n.goodjohn, aryansimhadri and others yn.ln inez and betty love their lil sister augustine (auggie) view comments

aryansimhadri miss girl thought she could js sneak charlie in 🤨 ➔ yn.ln had to put my baby daddy in 😔 taylorswift THEYRE SO CUTE HONOURED TO HVE THEM NAMED AFTER MY CHARACTERS 🤭 ➔ yn.ln honoured to have them be raised by u iamcharliebushnell love being a girl dad ❤️ ➔ yn.ln love u being a girl dad hearts4yn what type of cats are they 🥺 ➔ yn.ln inez and betty are turkish angoras and auggie is a bombay cat 🫶🏻 ynloml taylor being the biggest fan of yn’s cats 😭 charlie&yn not yn and charlie pretending to be irl parents ➔ yn.ln wdym we literally have 3 daughters ➔ iamcharliebushnell fr ➔ charlie&yn YN AND CHARLIE HELLO??? ➔ user06 u literally won in life.

@editor : they’re literally every romantic couple ever coded comments:

whosyn omg u guys are so talented ➔ editor OMG YN HII username OMG YN COMMENTED U LITERALLY WON ➔ editor SHE LIKED TOO

@ mayorcoco : petition to be ur aphrodite representation after yn comments

whosyn YOU DONT EVEN NEED TO ASK BBG ➔ mayorcoco LUV UUUUU user58 yn commented and reposted 🤩!! ➔ mayorcoco we’re acc mutuals 😭 🙏 ➔ pjofangirl GIRLY U SO LUCKYY

liked by walkerscobell, leahsavajeffries and others yn.ln stole yn’s unlocked phone 😈 view comments

iamcharliebushnell WALKER WILLIAM SCOBELL GIVE IT BACK ➔ iamcharliebushnell this is yn btw ➔ yn.ln WHYD U REVEAL MY MIDDLE NAME ➔ iamcharliebushnell YOU DESERVE IT hearts4yn they’re so goofy 😭 ynloml this would be so confusing to read back on aryansimhadri i’d like to exclude myself from this narrative ➔ leahsavajeffries i plead innocent ➔ aryansimhadri i plead walker forced us to do this

liked by unavailable yn.ln why’s there so many shirtless charlie pics view comments

iamcharliebushnell WALKER ‼️ THIS POST IS NOW DELETED ‼️

liked by leahsavajeffries, dior.n.goodjohn and others iamcharliebushnell they both got their revenge (last pic is moments before yn pushed him down) view comments

yn.ln I DIDNT PUSH HIM ➔ walkerscobell yes u did ➔ leenascobell W yn ➔ dior.n.goodjohn real 🗣️ 🔥 💯 aryansimhadri did not expect walker forehead reveal ➔ walkerscobell didn’t expect for u to sing adele ➔ aryansimhadri STOP ➔ yn.ln drop the diss track 💯 leahsavajeffries i feel like we need context for 2nd pic ➔ iamcharliebushnell U WERE LITERALLY THERE ➔ iamcharliebushnell walker gave yn too much blue food colouring ➔ leahsavajeffries i gotta feed the ppl 😔 user34 stop i love this cast

a/n off topic but i love mayor coco on tt my favourite pjo fangirl frfr

[forlix]

𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫・h.h.

— an impromptu drive to the airport at five in the morning rekindles conversations and feelings alike.

words・2.5k pairing・ex-boyfriend!hyunjin x gn!reader genres・angst, mutual pining, hurt w/no resolution, established (former) relationship, Airport Scene™ warnings・implied toxicity, strong language, Not a Happy Read

a/n・dear anon who asked where this went after i posted and deleted it a few months ago & dear other anon who requested mentioned hyune angst: this is for u, my loves

“I’m outside,” was how you were greeted over the phone earlier, in a tone so callous and cold that you barely recognized the speaker. Barely.

“Sorry, you’re what?”

“You have a flight today, right? I said I’d take you to the airport.”

One second, you were at a complete loss; the next, you thought you were going to erupt with how much you felt and how much you wanted to say, the weight of the situation hitting you with full force. Your ex-boyfriend, to whom you hadn’t spoken in nearly three weeks, had just materialized outside your home with no warning at the ass crack of dawn and suggested you get into a car alone with him for an hour.

As if that wasn’t the very last thing you wanted to do.

Briefly, you reflected on how you parted ways; you wouldn’t say the breakup was malicious, but it certainly wasn’t amicable, either. The longer your relationship went on, the more questions you raised—important and unavoidable considerations of your future together, none of which Hyunjin could give you substantial answers to. Whether it was because he couldn’t or because he simply didn’t care to try, you didn’t know. But the fact that you had to ask yourself that at all was enough for you to take a step back.

Distance morphed into passive aggression. That, in turn, precipitated constant conflict. The starlight that you saw in Hyunjin fizzled further with every biting word and slammed door. The resulting supernova was far from the beautiful spectacle you’d been promised in your astronomy textbooks.

Standing on the sidewalk outside your apartment was your fallen star in the flesh.

“Let me do this, Y/N."

You’d gone silent for what felt like whole minutes before Hyunjin spoke again.

"Please," he added. You perceived how the word weakened towards the end, some of the frost in his voice displaced by quiet exasperation.

It was these observations, plus the time displayed on the clock hanging above your bathroom door, that prompted you to take your luggage in hand and leave your apartment. You were going to miss your flight if you stood there, glowering silently, for any longer.

When you emerged into the frigid morning, you spotted Hyunjin’s silhouette immediately, and something inside you came undone, as though a knot had been doing itself over and over since you and him parted ways. Your eyes locked together, your gaze contemplative, his a little surprised, as if he didn’t actually expect you to accept his offer.

The first word that came to your mind was exhausted. You could tell that the shadows on his face weren’t just products of the lone streetlight above his head; he had his back curved in a slouch that made him look a few inches shorter than he was. You were reminded of a balloon with an indiscernible opening somewhere on its surface, gradually and inevitably deflating.

Much to your irritation, the second word to surface in your mind was beautiful. Hyunjin’s normally sharp features, from what you could see beneath his hood, were bare and smooth from fatigue; thick strands of dark hair, longer than you remembered, fell effortlessly over his forehead and his cheekbones; his figure somehow looked even broader, leaner when fitted in the loose material of a hoodie and sweatpants.

He was the spitting image of a man you used to know, who looked just like this whenever he wandered into your bedroom at the end of the day, whenever he wrapped you into his arms and littered kisses over your skin until sleep overcame the both of you like a warm, clear tide, whenever he greeted you with a smile that shone like the tropical sun the next morning.

You were standing in front of a ghost.

You broke eye contact first, averting your eyes to your luggage instead. Just in time to see and feel his hand brush against yours when he took your suitcases from you and loaded them into the trunk, all without saying a word.

Now, twenty minutes have passed since Hyunjin started driving, and forty remain before you reach the airport. The vehicle is deathly silent save for the drone of wheels against pavement and wind whistling against dusty windows. You haven’t looked at Hyunjin since you met him outside your place. Instead, your eyes are fixated on the lights of Seoul and the way they flicker out of sight one by one as you drive further away.

And you remember.

The different memories you have of this car blow through your mind like you’re skimming a flipbook. That time you burst into tears mid-drive and Hyunjin pulled over on the side of the highway, giving you his undivided attention as you ranted about the terrible day you’d had. That time you noticed a paparazzi van stationed around the corner and the two of you sank so low in your seats that you had to later unfold yourselves from beneath the glove compartments. The assorted dog-shaped air fresheners you bought for him, a new one hanging from the rear-view every month (except the one that resembled Kkami, which stuck around for almost a year). The caffeine-flavored kisses shared over the cupholders between the seats, one person tipping over the drinks precariously, the other moving to catch them with a soft huff of laughter. The extra hoodie he kept in his backseat for if you ever accidentally underdressed when you went out together. The playlist you curated together, always playing quietly in the background.

You never gave this car a second thought when you and Hyunjin were together, but it is only now that you realize the place felt a little like an extension of home, of him.

The silence becomes fucking excruciating.

You are not sure if Hyunjin is interested in speaking to you. You’re less sure if you even have anything to say to him. But you open your mouth anyway.

“Thank you,” you say, hardly audible. “For doing this.”

A pregnant pause follows. Hyunjin probably wasn’t expecting you to start a conversation—neither were you, to be fair.

Little do you know that he has been trying and failing to string together a sentence since the moment he started the engine, and hearing your voice feels like clouds parting on a foggy day, a singular ray of sunshine settling on his cheek.

“It’s no trouble,” he returns. He’s quiet for a while after this, and you’re beginning to think the conversation is already over when he clears his throat.

“How are you feeling? About the trip, I mean.”

“Good. I think it’ll be nice to get away from Seoul for some time.”

Your choice of answer is intentional, and you can tell by Hyunjin’s lack of immediate response that he picks up on this.

“And you?” You return. “How’ve you been?”

“Fine, thanks. The members and I went to the states a few days ago, finished up album promotions there.”

“Oh, right.” He’d told you about this; they’d been in Japan prior, if you remember correctly. “And everything went well?”

“Yeah. It was a lot of fun.”

“When did you get back?”

You don’t expect him to hesitate at such a simple question, but he does.

“Few hours ago,” he mumbles.

This takes you a few seconds to process. And then, so surprised at his answer that you can no longer help yourself, you finally lift your gaze to the side of Hyunjin’s face.

Your eyes comb over the fluorescent lights of the highway illuminating the slope of his nose; the weariness clouding his irises; his teeth latched gently around his lower lip, as if trying to prevent himself from saying another word.

Hyunjin turns his head to look at you, too, only for a few seconds and more out of anxiety than anything. But you have long mastered the art of reading the fine print of his facial expressions, and that brief interval is enough for you to catch what hadn’t been there the last time you’d looked him in the eye: the true reason why he’d hardly set his bags down on the dormitory floor before he was leaving again, piling into a car and going to you; the same entity that you know is etched all over your face, too.

Yearning.

He is the one who looks away first this time, with a soft snap of his head like he has to force himself to do it—but the damage has already been done.

“Idiot,” you mutter under your breath, and you mean it in every sense of the word.

And it’s so unexpected (and so damn true) that it wrests a laugh from Hyunjin’s lips, the sound every bit as light as it is dark. The bittersweet smile that it leaves behind on his face mirrors helplessly onto your own.

You don’t say another word to each other for the rest of the drive.

The sun has risen by the time Hyunjin pulls up to the curb of the international terminal, but there’s hardly anybody around at this time of day, so he doesn’t mask up before stepping out of the car. He places your suitcases in front of you, then holds up a finger as a silent gesture of wait right there—and he dashes up the curb, beelines towards the line of trolleys, and pulls one over. 

You feel a helpless warmth in your fingertips as you haul your suitcases onto the metal platform together. Even now, he’s taking care of you, as thoughtlessly and naturally as respiring.

“Is that everything?”

“I think so.”

And the two of you find yourselves two feet apart and facing each other, examining your counterparts as if the answer of what the fuck to say now lies in the curves of their cheeks, in the purse of their lips.

But all you obtain from looking at Hyunjin is a glimpse of that wicked entity again, yearning, now in the form of eyes softened by the sunrise and lips parted by forbidden words, sitting readily on the tip of his tongue.

You feel a deep, hollow sadness within you, derived from knowing and hating that no amount of yearning will change the reality that he’s not yours anymore.

“Have a great trip,” Hyunjin says at last. “Be safe, okay?”

“I will,” you answer. “Thank you again. Get some rest today.”

Your arms move to push your trolley, but not before they nearly twitch in his direction with how much you want to hug him goodbye. The last thing you see before turning around is his hand in the air, and then you enter the airport, wondering vaguely if you will ever see him again.

You're in a bit of a numb state as you check in your bags and step into the line for security. The last hour has left you feeling like your heart and mind have filled with static—the kind that shows up when there are too many television signals in the air, all of them unintelligible and amorphous.

But then there is a shout of your name behind you, so urgent that the familiar voice cracks over the last syllable, like bone breaking upon boulder. You turn around.

The white noise clears.

The soles of Hyunjin’s sneakers echo as he runs across the mostly-empty airport; his hood has been knocked down and his long hair set free, combed backward by the wind; there are other eyes on him, but he is only looking at you, something else burning in his gaze now, something certain and familiar. 

You move your suitcases aside and extend your arms, your pulse racing with anticipation—just in time for him to positively crash into you. He very well could have hurt you with how quickly he’s moved toward you, but the very instant his skin meets yours, he’s gathering you so tightly and securely in his arms that he cushions his own fall, costing you only of the breath in your lungs.

And the two of you fuse together like a cosmic collision, imperfect but quintessential. The moon’s craters themselves.

He knots one hand in your hair and cradles the back of your neck with the other; you form fists around the fabric of his hoodie, your face disappearing into the junction of his neck and shoulder. And you feel the tears come at last: tears of relief, of regret, of remembrance.

There are a billion things Hyunjin wants to say to you then. He wants to thank you for loving him. He wants to blame you for loving him. He wants to tell you that it was all worth it for him, so long as he was once the reason that you smiled. He wants to convince you—and himself—that nothing was meant to last forever, that the two of you were destined to burn out, the same way even the biggest and brightest of heavenly bodies have shelf lives too.

But there is one train of thought that overshadows the rest. It rings louder and truer than anything he has ever known and emerges straight from the chambers of his heart.

“I—” He sounds shattered when he speaks, his voice muffled where his lips touch your skin, his words a rasp that is only audible to you. “I still—”

“I know,” you whisper, squeezing your watering eyes. “Me too.”

And you think the shaky “fuck” that leaves his lips is an apt summary of the absolute mess that the two of you have found yourselves in: entirely and obtusely enamored with the person who has proven themselves to be incompatible with your love, time and time again.

You are only willing to pull away far enough from Hyunjin so that you can look at him, his cheeks now damp with saltwater and flushed with emotion, his dreary eyes swimming with adoration and sorrow. You cradle his face with both hands, and he drops his arms to circle around your waist. His fingers lace together against the small of your back.

“It’s gonna be okay,” you murmur. You wipe at his tears with your thumbs, touch your forehead to his. “We’re gonna be okay, Hyun.”

His reply is so sad and so small that your heart feels like it’s being carved out of your chest with a blunt pocket knife. “When?”

You don’t know the answer.

You don’t know the answer when you finally go through security, the final boarding call for your flight booming through the intercom, Hyunjin’s face buried in his shaking sleeves.

You don’t know the answer when you return to Seoul a few months later, and Hyunjin is not there to give you a lift this time.

You don’t know the answer when your birthday passes and you still receive texts from Hyunjin’s parents, wishing you well, reminding you to take care of yourself. Nor do you know the answer on the birthday after that, or the birthday after that, which is when the texts stop coming.

You won’t know the answer for a very long time—so much so that you spend years of your life doubting there’s an answer at all. But you find it one day when you least expect it, and it congeals in your mind like expired milk, numbs your mouth like the strongest of anesthetics. 

You have your answer then, but you don’t want it.

You never have.

🔖・@astraystayyh・@like-a-diamondinthesky・@fire-08・@starsandrqindrops・@txtxlz・@laylasbunbunny・@strayghibli・@nuronhe・@seungminsapuppy・@vivisoni・@skzms・@moon0fthenight・@sweetpickledjins・@svintsandghosts・@nhyunn ・@ur-boyfiend ・@liknws・@hotgorloikawa

© 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐱 (est. 090323) · liked this work? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other writing here. thanks so much for the support ♡

[storiesforallfandoms]

icdiwabh ~ joseph quinn

word count: 3688

request?: no

description: after finding out that her recently broken up with ex is already in a new relationship, she puts on a happy face for the public. but she can't do the same with him

pairing: joseph quinn x female!reader

warnings: swearing, angsty angst, rpf, use of y/n

based on this song

masterlist (one, two, three)

To give her credit, my best friend and guitarist, Chloe, tried her best to keep me from looking at my phone before our show. And it was working. I didn't even think anything of it, just that we were goofing off before a show as usual.

And then my phone chimed with a text from my mom. She always sent me a good luck text before a show. I unlocked my phone to respond, then saw that my social media notifications were blowing up more than usual.

I shouldn't have looked, but you know what they say about curiosity and the cat.

I opened Twitter to see I was being mentioned a lot. Mainly in replies to other tweets, and most of the tweets were along the lines of, "What happened to @(Y/U/N)?" I clicked on one to see what that context was, and was brought to a tweet from Pop Crave.

"Joseph Quinn photographed on a date with Doja Cat," followed by various photos of my ex-boyfriend getting cozy with another woman.

I felt my heart drop and break into millions of pieces.

I know what you're thinking: why would seeing my ex moving on hurt so much? It's not like we were together. We were both free to see whoever we wanted now. But there were a few reasons this news was upsetting; for one, we had only broken up three months ago, which apparently is around the time when these pictures were taken. Second, Joseph had broken up with me due to the fact that I was a singer, which meant we didn't get to spend as much time together as either of us would've wanted. I understood at the time. I mean, of course the break up still hurt, but I kind of knew it was coming when things between us had felt different the last month or so of our relationship.

Then there was the biggest reason: Doja was the woman he told me not to worry about.

I am not joking.

Joseph and I were together when the whole Doja versus Noah stuff happened online. We both laughed about it at the time, and i had jokingly asked Joseph, "Should I worry about you getting stolen away by Doja Cat?" He had wrapped me in his arms, kissed me, and said of course not.

Obviously, that had changed.

Chloe found me just as the tears started to fall. She was quick to hug me and whisper comforting words.

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry," she said. "But we have to get to the stage."

Performing was the last thing on my mind, but I had thousands of fans waiting for me. I couldn't let them down just because I was heartbroken.

I followed Chloe to take my place. I wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping my face wasn't too red or puffy. Our backstage crew passed me my microphone as the countdown for the show to start started in my earpiece. I took a deep, calming breath, pushing everything out of my mind. As the blinding stage lights hit me, I put on my best show smile.

~~~~~~

The next few weeks were tough. I had to go on a full social media hiatus, meaning I deleted all social media apps from my phone to keep myself from seeing any more updates on Joseph and Doja. Chloe took up posting on my accounts so no one suspected anything. We had already decided the best course of action was to ignore the questions and comments, and to pretend like the news didn't even hurt me.

But it did. It hurt me more than any words could ever describe. Having to go on stage two to three nights a week and sing the love songs I wrote about him made it even harder. I struggled to keep it together on stage sometimes. I saved the emotions for when I'd get back to the hotel or the tour bus. Then I'd be able to cry until my eyes hurt and were too heavy to stay awake.

Some nights were sleepless, though. On those nights, I'd usually just lay awake or try to use one of the streaming services on my phone to distract myself. One night, I found myself too hungry to be distracted. My stomach was rumbling enough that I could hardly hear the show I was watching. After some quick Googling, I found a 24 hour diner that seemed like it would be slow enough for me to go without being recgonized.

I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a baggy hoodie with the hood up to cover my face. I put my phone and my hotel room key in my pocket, and left to make my way to the diner.

As I expected, there weren't many people there. Maybe one table with two young ladies sat there, plus the workers. I kept my hood up anyways as I ordered, just in case. The host who took my order did look at me like he may have known who I was, but he didn't say anything.

My plan was to get my food and take it back to the hotel to eat it. But that plan was quickly changed when a familiar British voice said, "(Y/N)?"

I froze. There was no way he was actually here. It had to be a figment of my imagination. A hallucination made up by my misery over the breakup and his quick moving on.

But when I looked up, there he was. He was also in a hoodie and sweatpants, but was doing less to hide his identity. Actually, nothing to hide his identity. I couldn't help but glance around to make sure no one was looking at us or there was no paparazzi that had followed him and started snapping photos.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked, then realized it was a stupid question and winced at myself.

"That's...um...my hoodie."

I looked down and realized that he was right. I hadn't even noticed that I had it, even when I packed it for the tour.

"I was wondering where it went," he said with a little smile.

"Here it is," I said, lamely flourishing my hands. "I'd offer to give it back, but I'm not wearing anything underneath."

I saw him swallow at my comment. I thought I saw a tinge of pink creeping onto his cheeks, but I figured it must've been the lighting or something. There was no way I could still make him blush when he obviously had no feelings for me anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm in town shooting the Fantastic Four movie," he explained. "I just finished a late shoot, so I stopped in for something to eat. What are you doing here?"

"I had a show tonight. I couldn't sleep, and I'm hungry. So..." I did my lame flourish again.

"Oh yes. The post-show adrenaline."

I ground my teeth to keep from saying anything. The weeks of sadness and misery suddenly vanished and became anger. I was angry at him for reminding me that he knew me so well. That we had shared memories on sleepless nights like this. I was also angry that he didn't think our breakup and his quick moving on would be the cause of my sleeplessness. Did he think I didn't know? Or just that I'd be okay with him and his new girlfriend mere weeks after our two year long relationship ended?

I just shrugged in response.

My order was called and I quickly grabbed it. I turned to give Joseph a wave as a goodbye. I needed to get out of there and get back to my hotel room to wallow in my dispair.

But it seemed Joseph had other plans, as he stopped me before I could leave. "Do you want to sit? Maybe...catch up?"

"Is that a good idea?" I asked.

"I don't see why it wouldn't be."

"You don't want your new girlfriend to see paparazzi photos of you with your ex."

There, it was finally out. No more tiptoeing around the topic.

It seemed to have its desired effect as Joseph was now awkwardly shuffling. He rubbed the back of his neck, which was now undoubtably turning pink. "So, you've heard."

"Of course I heard!" I snapped. I glanced around again, realizing I was raising my voice. "Your pictures are everywhere, and I'm being tagged in them cause we never told everyone we had broken up."

"I'm sorry you had to find out that way."

I scoffed. "How else was I going to find out? Were you going to call me and tell me you were dating the girl you said wasn't a threat to our relationship?"

He sighed. Before he could say anything else, they called that another order was ready, and evidently it was his. It was also packed in a to go bag, so he clearly had no intentions of staying either. With any luck, he'd drop this stupid idea of sitting down for a "catch up" and let me leave to deal with all the emptions I was feeling.

But of course, luck was not on my side.

Joseph grabbed his food and turned back to me. "Just...sit with me for 15 minutes at least. Let me explain."

Even though I very much wanted an explanation, I said, "You don't have to explain anything."

"Just...please, (Y/N)."

And that's how I found myself sat in a booth that was tucked away, in the middle of the night with my ex-boyfriend.

It was a bad idea, and I knew that. Besides the fact that I definitely should not be sitting down with the ex that I had been in shambles over for weeks, it was also a bad idea publicity wise. Joseph wasn't trying to hide himself. Anyone could see us and snap a picture, or call paparazzi to make a quick buck. Even with me trying to hide myself, someone would eventually put the pieces together to realize it was me. Then we'd have a whole new shit show on our hands.

I opened my food and started to eat. There was no point in letting it go cold and completely ruin my night. Joseph wasn't as quick to do the same. He was watching me. When I realized he wasn't eating, I made a gesture for him to start talking.

"Is there anything specific you want to know?" he asked.

Well, that was a stupid question. There was a lot I wanted to know. So much so that I knew we'd be here way longer than 15 minutes if I asked it all.

I decided to ask him the most prominent question on my mind: "Did you leave me for her?"

He seemed stunned by my question. "No! No, of course I didn't. Why would you think that?"

I gave him a look. "Come on, Joseph. We both know why I'd think that."

He shuffled in his seat. "It's not like that."

"Then explain it. That's the whole reason I'm sat here."

So he did. He told me he met Doja (he used her real name, which made my stomach churn) at her concert. He had gone with a few friends, and when she found out he was there she brought them backstage to meet her. He swore it was all casual at first, that they were just friendly and were making light of the situation between her and Noah. When things started changing, he swore it was just a rebound thing.

"I never meant for it to become anything more," he insisted. "I was still so hurt. I just wanted something that would take my mind off of the pain."

I couldn't hold back the scoff that escaped my lips. "What?"

"Oh, nothing," I said. "I'm just so sorry to hear that you were hurting."

"What, you don't think our breakup was hard for me?"

"Weirdly enough, no, I didn't think you took things hard when you dumped me."

Joseph sighed. "It wasn't - "

"And you know what else?" I cut him off. "You told me you found it hard for us to be together because of our professions. And, honestly, I understood! If you weren't away filming, I was away touring. If you weren't doing press for a movie or show, I was doing press for an album. It wasn't easy, and while I was willing to go through those strifes for us, I did understand how it could be too difficult for you. But then you turned around, not even a month after you dumped me, and started dating another singer."

He was quiet. He couldn't even meet my eye.

I felt a lump forming in my throat, and my voice cracked as I said, "If you didn't love me anymore, you could've just said that."

He looked up at me quickly. "That's not - "

He was cut off again. Not by me this time, but by his phone. Someone was calling him. When I looked at the screen, I saw her name. It felt like a knife directly through my heart.

I packed my food and stood. Joseph looked like he was going to say something, but I put a hand up to stop him. "Answer your girlfriend, Joseph."

He didn't try to stop me when I left this time.

~~~~~~

As I expected, photos of Joseph and I got out. I didn't know to what extent as I still wasn't back on social media. My manager confronted me about it and I explained what had happened. She wasn't upset as I wasn't the one who hadn't been concealing my identity, and she agreed that the best course of action was just to ignore everything until it blew over.

Another two months passed and the tour finally ended. It became easier to perform as the time went on. Not completely easy, and I did have a night or two where I slipped up and got emotional on stage, but eventually I was able to put the meanings of my songs aside and just performed them for my fans. I knew some nights weren't as great as others, but I got through it, and finally I was going to have a break.

Chloe reluctantly agreed to let me have my social media back. I was still hurting a little, but I told her I couldn't isolate myself forever. It just wasn't healthy. Besides, I would need something to keep me occupied while I was home, besides just watching mind numbing reality TV. She finally relented when I told her she could watch me block the words "Joseph Quinn" and "Doja Cat" on all social media so that I wouldn't have to see any posts about them.

I was honestly surprised to find that I didn't want to look up anything to do with them. For a long time, the desire to know about their relationship was eating away at me. There were so many specifics I felt like I needed to know, but I eventually realized that I was just going to hurt myself further if I looked into them. Of course, I didn't completely stop thinking about Joseph. I didn't expect to. We had been together for two years, almost moved in with one another. I thought we were going to get married. You don't just let that go easily. But at least it was getting a little easier to live in a world where he was no longer mine.

On one particularly nice day, I decided to go out on the balcony to read. It was one of those fall days where the sun was out and there was a little heat coming from it, but not enough that it was unbearable. A slight breeze would blow through every so often, just cool enough to keep it tolerable outside. I was laid back in one of my deck chairs, engrossed in my book to a point that I hadn't heard someone approaching.

"Must be an interesting novel."

I jumped at the sound of a voice coming from my driveway below. I bookmarked my page and sat up to see the last person I wanted to be around. "What are you doing here, Joseph?"

"I just got back from filming."

"Good for you."

"I...I was hoping you were home."

"Well, you see that I am. Don't let the gate hit you on the way out."

"(Y/N), can we just talk?"

I stood from my seat and leaned over the balcony railing to look at him. "We said all there was to say in that diner months ago. There's nothing else to be talked about. Besides, do you want more pictures of us to come out? I'm sure Doja wouldn't be happy to see her man making a personal visit to his ex's place."

"We broke up!"

I stopped. "What?"

"Last month. It was all over social media, or so Lupita tells me." He tilted his head. "You didn't hear?"

"I-I blocked yours and Doja's names on social media so I wouldn't have to see any tweets or posts about you."

Joseph looked at me for a moment before barking out a laugh. I couldn't help but put a hand over my face as I laughed as well. Of course, by trying to block him out completely, I had totally missed the one thing I would've wanted to see.

I was a bit reluctant, but eventually I invited Joseph to come up. He knew his way through my place, he had been there enough times. I sat back down on my deck chair and pulled another one closer to me, as he appeared in the glass doorway. He sat down next to me and memories of all the times we had been out here flooded back to me.

"I wasn't done talking that night in the diner," he said. "I still had so much to say, and I have even more to say now."

"I didn't want to hear it," I admitted. "In my mind, after hearing how you and Doja got together, it just made more sense if you had broken up with me because you didn't love me anymore."

He shook his head. "It wasn't that at all. I never stopped loving you."

I was itching to ask him if that meant he still loved me now, but instead I said, "Then why?"

"I broke up with you because I loved you so much," he said. "Because loving you but not getting to spend time with you hurt so much, and I knew there was no way around that. When I started getting more job offers I knew things were just going to get so much busier for me, and that our already very short time together was going to dwindle down more and more, and I hated the thought of that."

"I would've taken a break," I told him.

"I couldn't ask you to do that. You love making music and performing. I could never ask you to stop doing that, or to change that. I thought the best thing for you would be if you could find someone who wasn't as busy, and who'd be able to go on tour with you and be at all your shows. Someone who wouldn't be in a different time zone basically 11 months out of a year and only be able to call you for an hour max every night."

"But what if that's not what I want?" I asked. "Yes, it was hard not to get to see you all the time, but I never would've traded that for anything else. I was so proud of you for all those roles you were getting, and even if I only got to talk to you for a few minutes, I loved getting to hear what you were doing. Because you were achieving your dream, and I got to be there to experience it. I don't want someone who can be with me all the time, I want you."

I hadn't noticed that we were both sat on the edge of our chairs. We were so close we were almost touching. I could smell the familiar scent of his cologne and it was making my heart skip a few beats.

"I should've talked to you instead of deciding just to end things," he said, his voice soft and quiet.

"You should've," I agreed. "And then if you were going to rebound, you shouldn't have done it with the girl you told me not to worry about."

He awkwardly chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, not my finest moment."

I sat back in my chair, although I didn't want to. I wanted to keep being this close to him, or maybe to get closer. "So why did you two breakup anyways?"

"She was nice and all, but she wasn't you."

We sat in silence, letting his words sink in. He was looking at me, almost like he was waiting. Maybe I was waiting, too, to see where that confession was supposed to go. After a few moments, my body moved before my mind could comprehend what was happening. I quickly leaned forward, nearly putting myself on Joseph's lap, and started kissing him. He kissed me back immediately, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me the rest of the way onto his lap.

"I missed you," he mumbled against my lips.

"I missed you too," I admitted. I pulled away to add, "But don't think you're completely off the hook. You did still hurt me, you know."

"I know I did. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for it if I have to."

I smiled. "I think I like the sound of that."

He smiled back at me and pulled me back in for another kiss. Eventually, my book was abandoned on the balcony, and the large blinds were closed to keep from anyone being able to see the reunion happening inside.

[igotlovestruck]

LIPS OF AN ANGEL | MM19

↳ TYPE: ig au (written scenario will follow!)

↳ PAIRING: mason mount x fem! wolff! reader

↳ DETAILS AND WARNINGS: angst (more to be added on the main fic!)

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTE: here you go! 😵‍💫 after months omg, i’ve finally had the energy to do this after several revisions n all hahahaha pls wait for the main fic as i’m still writing it, but here’s a lil preview! enjoy <3

↳ TAGGED: @i83andrew @pleasantducktimetravel

—.

fcgossips

liked by user1, user2, user3 and others

fcgossips [sent anonymously]

mason mount spotted with model lia mendes last night in london!

it seems as though mason mount has found himself back to the dating game amidst the breakup rumors with toto wolff’s daughter, y/n wolff. it was reported that the pair has separated ways 4 months ago after y/n deleted all posts and unfollowed the football star; although there was no confirmation happened between the two parties.

we wish mason and his current partner the best 💗

view all 492 comments

user4 that looks so much like y/n lol

user5 i went y/n DOOP as soon as i saw her lmao

user6 *she cuz she’s a freaking PERSON and no she doesn’t look anything like y/n!

user7 seems like mason has a type 🤭

user8 convincing myself that l*a is his getaway car

user9 leave them alone, pretty sure mason wouldn’t appreciate the things yall call her gf

user10 lmao i was thinking the same thing!

—

masonmount

liked by cmpulisic, declanrice, liamendes and others

masonmount recents.

view all 2,829 comments

liamendes meu amor 💗

— ❤️ by masonmount

masonmount 💗

user11 omg no way (i mean this in a very nice and genuine way)

user12 ... so it’s really over with y/n huh?

user13 y/n dupe

—

ynwolff

liked by yourbffsig, susie_wolff, yourmomsig and others

ynwolff life lately

view all 2,793 comments

yourbffsig girl i miss u get tf up 😮‍💨

ynwolff lmao visit me at my new place <3

yourbffsig omw 🏃🏻‍♀️

ynwolff come fast before i go back to work this week !?

yourmomsig my beautiful daughter ❤️ all you do is sleep, sweetie 😂

ynwolff been sleeping a lot lately to avoid reality and recent news, ma 🤭 miss you <3

susie_wolff glad you’ve adjusted to the new place, that bed looks comfortable! enjoy 😍

ynwolff thank you for helping me move in, susie 😙 (and jackie too, pls tell him to sleepover sometimes!)

user14 not y/n posting minutes after mason confirmed his relationship 😭

user15 she’s unbothered lmao

user16 stop associating him with her, they’re over ffs

user17 user16 no, yall should stop associating him with her <3

user18 some girls are mourning over y/n and mason’s breakup and here she is sleeping most of the time 😂 welcome back to ig luv 💞

user19 ofc u announce ur return to ig by posting pics of u sleeping 😭 missed u here queen :)

ynwolff it’s all i’ve been doing the past few months <3 jk hahaha

user20 will we be seeing you back in the paddock? 😭

ynwolff hmm maybe 😉

[goldfades]

✮ 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐚𝐦?, zegras' have more fun

♡ ─ summary | stass' new photo dump on instagram (plus imsg drama??)

♡ ─ warnings | nothing just some cussing, jack being a flirt and lukey being a simp LMAO

♡ ─ taglist | link to my taglist!

♡ ─ ev's notes | oooooo more drama???? again, PLSSSS SEND IN SOME THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEGGING ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PLEASE.

back to navigation back to AU masterlist

stasszegras ann arbor, michigan

Liked by trevorzegras, briesbagels, jackhughes and 10,013 more

stasszegras | live laugh love barcelona (sry jude bellingham) tagged: briesbagels, friend1, pchandler68, chloegrace333 octber 12th, 2022

View all 3,971 comments

briesbagels | is this a soft launch parker??

↳ pchandler98 no it is not.

↳ chloegrace333 oh okay...

↳ trevorzegras bro has absolutely 0 game HELP

↳ stasszegras why is bro copying me?? since when do u say HELP

↳ pchandler68 shut up trevor

umichwsoccer | thats our girl🫡

↳ stasszegras 😤

nolan_moyle | future manager supports barcelona!!!!!!!! (whatever the hell that means)

↳ stasszegras ur funny but no, also barcelona is a club

↳ nolan_moyle wdym club

↳ trevorzegras bros gotten hit too many times in the head by a puck

↳ stasszegras this is why im not managering the hockey team

jackhughes | whos jude bellingham??? why are you sorry????

↳ stasszegras sigh...

↳ trevorzegras its her husband... duh

↳ jackhughes UR MARRIED???

↳ briesbagels 🥴🥴

fan01 | can anyone tell me if jack and her are actually dating?

↳ fan02 i think everyone is just being weird af they're just friends

↳ fan03 i personally think shes dating luke cus it makes more sense

↳ fan01 help she wants the entire family

↳ fan02 can u blame her?????? 🤭🤭

lhughes_06 | photo creds for the last pic🤑

↳ pchandler68 BRUHHHHHHHHHH

↳ lhughes_06 its the rizzler guys 😌

↳ stasszegras FUCK NO HES NOT....... HES 5'8???

↳ jackhughes i'm 5'11 if that helps 🥰

↳ trevorzegras hey what does rizz have to do with height??? umm... 🥸

↳ lhughes_06 im 6'3 if that helps 😮‍💨😮‍💨

↳ stasszegras ... 🥰🥰 oh nothing, trev!!!

↳ briesbagels help 😶😶

↳ jackhughes ???????

avazegras | okay miss heartbreaker 😮‍💨😮‍💨 i see u

↳ trevorzegras hey whats that supposed to mean??

↳ griffinzegras hey i hold the title of heartbreaker of the family.... so this is kinda awkward...

↳ stasszegras STFU AVA UR NOT HELPING AT ALL😭😭😭

↳ trevorzegras did i miss a chapter???????

↳ lhughes_06 yea u did [deleted]

↳ griffinzegras ... damn 💀💀💀

iMessages

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

hi soo why did u comment and then delete that???

luke 🥸🥸

wdym????

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

luke u know what i mean, i saw the comment

luke 🥸🥸

i was just joking around but i thought it may come off weird so i deleted it

luke 🥸🥸

sorry, stass

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

it's fine its just if u have a problem i'd rather u just text me then comment on my post 😭😭

luke 🥸🥸

noted

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

its fine lukey, im sorry about the party if i came off to harsh or anything. i just miss our friendship before that stupid trip

luke 🥸🥸

no I'M sorry, i shouldn't keep bringing it up. and its back to normal, i promise 🫶🏼🫶🏼

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

ur the best luke, thank you 🫡 and between us, ur my fav hughes rn read 11:37

mini z ✊🏼💅🏻

you screenshotted that didn't u

luke 🥸🥸

YUPPPPPP😗😗😇😇

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[diorsluv]

feather , part 16

“ floating through the memories ”

series m. list previous chapter next chapter

( socialmedia!au )

yourusername

liked by jamie.drysdale, jackhughes, adamfantilli, and 76,954 others

yourusername a lil photo dump from this month :)

view all comments

jamie.drysdale that pic of me on fort makes me look homeless

→ yourusername i mean u were the one that stole my guest room

_alexturcotte yoooo it’s a cat

→ yourusername yes booker has 2 🥰🥰

→ _alexturcotte yoooo it’s two cats

username36 the guys r trying so hard to be nice LMFAO

username23 okay but tbh the way he looks at her… 🥹🥹🥹

lhughes_06 damn i didn’t make it in the dump

→ yourusername you’ll make up half the pics in the story lu i promise

→ lhughes_06 you promise?

→ yourusername i’ve never broken a promise before 🙄

trevorzegras i thought we all collectively decided to forget about that pic of me and turcs

→ yourusername well i did not collectively decide that!

→ trevorzegras i’m collectively deciding for you

→ _quinnhughes so did we all forget what the definition of “collectively” is or???

→ jackhughes yes quinn we’ve all collectively forgotten

username1 our mini drysdale seems a lot happier and i’m here for it!!!

liked by yourusername

rutgermcgroarty i don’t think it’s safe to be taking pictures of yourself in the side mirrors while driving

→ yourusername i was parked. at the beach. you were there.

→ rutgermcgroarty see i’ve collectively decided to omit that from my memory so no i wasn’t there actually 😒

→ _quinnhughes that’s.. still not what collectively means rutger

edwards.73 will i ever make the photo dump 😕

→ yourusername ethan sweetie you were just in my last one

→ yourusername and i’m posting all our vacation pics on my story 😭😭

→ edwards.73 that’s not good enough

→ yourusername you never post me 🤨

→ edwards.73 OK THATS DIFFERENT THO

luca.fantilli i bet u suck at bowling

→ yourusername YOU’VE SEEN ME BOWL

→ luca.fantilli that’s been collectively forgotten

→ yourusername um WHAT????? I’M BETTER THAN YOU

→ luca.fantilli that’s also been collectively forgotten

→ yourusername oh but u admit to me being better, u just happened to collectively forget

→ _quinnhughes you’re all using collectively wrong just to spite me aren’t you

yourusername

liked by bookerburke_, adamfantilli, _alexturcotte, and 41,002 others

yourusername when he takes you to paint in a field of flowers 🥹🥹

tagged: bookerburke_

view all comments

bookerburke_ hope i’m living up to the expectations 😅

→ yourusername wdym?? ofc u are ☹️

→ bookerburke_ no i’m just saying tho, like you must have high expectations from all the guys you must’ve dated before yk

→ yourusername what i barely dated anyone, i told u this before already 😭

→ bookerburke_ yea but i doubt it lmao

→ yourusername i don’t think we should be doing this in my public comments

→ jamie.drysdale uh?? she’s only dated two other guys and they were a lot less of assholes than you

this comment thread has been deleted

username57 um… we all saw that thread right

→ username11 yes but let’s not talk about it

username63 yo those comments were so uncalled for??? what happened to the “good guy” or was it all just an act??

username44 wtf? the switch-up is crazy and bro CANNOT be talkin to lil drizz like that

username18 don’t tell me he started acting like a dick just cuz she started giving more attention to luke again

adamfantilli the stuffed animals yay

edwards.73 ooh painting 👀

trevorzegras the cowboy hats… are you turning texan

lhughes_06 nice hat

rutgermcgroarty show the finished painting don’t be scared!

colecaufield man where’s all the replies from our lil drizzy 🥲

_quinnhughes kid if this is your attempt at being aesthetic then you’re failing pretty bad

this post has been deleted

next chapter notes ) first off i wanted to say THANK YOU FOR 200 FOLLOWERSSS!! i’m glad at least some of yall enjoy this series lmfaooo and I KNOW I KNOW it was kind of a really quick and sudden shift but there’ll be more development (at least i see it as more development) later on i also know you’re all thinking this is messy as shit but um.. it gets messier! (edit: i changed the layout to make it easier to read LMAO)

tags: @aliaology @hockeyboysarehot @absolutelyhugh3s

[jesterwriting]

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

[pompompompeii]

oh I have walked in on the funniest fandom thing Ive ever seen on reddit

r/silksong is a discussion turned shitpost sub for Hollow Knight: Silksong, a sequel to Hollow Knight that doesn't exist (yet(?)). my knowledge of Silksong’s development is kinda spotty, Im just here for memes. after 5-ish years, pretty much every post is either sharing edits of Hornet (hypothetical protagonist of the hypothetical game) and making fake teasers and release dates. these all go under the 'silkpost' flair, the sub's dedicated shitposting flair, to show that they are indeed bait and should not be taken seriously. this flair is very important.

other recent events in this sub include a presidential election, and the week where everyone pretended the game came out and posted fake gameplay. there's a lot going on here. the reason for the state of the sub is that Silksong updates from the devs, Team Cherry, are very few and far between. it's hard to have any serious discussion about a game that literally does not exist.

u/E1331 is famous in the sub for constantly making shitposts of varying quality, ranging from edits of the devs announcing releases and cancellations, the aforementioned fake game screenshots, and all the way to fanfiction about the devs losing their fucking minds. this guy's credited with keeping r/silksong alive.

these are all posted under the silkpost flair. everyone on the sub checks flairs before they even read posts due to the amount of fake hype being posted. everyone on the sub knows that these posts are jokes.

however, because it's always fucking something, isn't it, recently u/E1331 went and posted some fake screenshots of the devs shitting on other indie games, of which I only have the deleted post, as part of his usual posting.

some time later, he had to make this post:

no indication that this is a joke.

and the general reaction from the community:

and yea, I get it, those screenshots could've fucked up Team Cherry's reputation if people believed them. google AI is already scraping reddit shitposts to pass off as actual information, and misinformation spreads like wildfire nowadays. apparently google already says that u/E1331 was sued by TC according to a comment I saw. shit's getting weird. I understand why TC would go out of their way to wipe this from the internet when people outside of r/silksong might take the screenshots seriously, with no way to know any better, and slander the company. nobody can really blame them for doing this.

it's just really fucking funny.

also this was u/E1331's last post before the announcement:

[zmediaoutlet]

hey i saw your post about ao3 house style and i can totally relate to it, so i thought maybe you could share some wincest fic recs? please and thank u 🙏

you know what bud, I will indeed share some wincest fic recs bc you should rec the stuff that is good and leave the crud in the dust, right? Right. So -- here are uhh a number of recs as they occur to me, which actually read like a person wrote them instead of an AO3-trained algorithm of some kind. Plus I only rec stuff if I actually like it so consider these Z Certified or something.

The Fremont Street Experience by @nigeltde-fic -- a quick 1200 words that's a fizzing jolt of champagne right under the heart. New love that's just bursting with all that could be. Anticipation fizzes in Dean's veins, dances in his fingertips. The sand shimmers, hazes, glitters. There's so much sky. It pours into the road at the horizon. -- see?

Miles Ahead by @egipci -- a fully-formed entirely real paragraph of 750 words in which we see Sam Winchester in all his want and wanting, and I want to crawl inside the narrative presented and live there year-round. You were pretending to sleep and every once in a while a car would pass by and the headlights would fill up the inside of the car like midday and then I would look at you out the corner of my eye. All the way I thought about Mexico and you there sunburnt. -- I mean my god.

Countdown by @mollyamory-again -- another tight 1200 of just a normally-tense night that dissolves in sweet established-vibes intimacy. Brothers who feel like brothers and also an earned and real -- not hotness exactly but just adults who have sex who act and think like adults, which is not as common as you'd hope! His fingers skate over Dean's skin in lazy patterns; they find their old places, and Dean shoves up to meet them, asking for more and getting more all at once. Sam missed him, Sam wants him; Sam is here, so they can do this, Dean wants so badly to do this.

Four Winters: I by @lindencypressbirch, who got deleted and so we'll just call her Linden. Stretching all the way up to 4700 words this time, Linden takes us through a godawful piece of shit of a day in which Dean Winchester Is Handling It, until of course he isn't -- but he is, because he has to, because what other choice is there? This one does a great job of showcasing the misery without lingering on it in a maudlin or tedious way. There's just the job, and then the next job after. After another moment or two he scrubbed a hand over his wet face and went looking for his thermos, and the last of the cold coffee it held. Because they had power now, yes, but there was no telling whether they would have power later, and as they were clearly not going to be going anywhere for a few days, he had work to do before it maybe went.

The Fall Will Probably Kill You by killabeez, which is allll the way up to 7k and retains interest throughout. The big strength in this one is that Sam is competent, steady, believable-from-canon Sam when we get so much over-the-top meathead jerk or simpering babyboy who reads 15 when he's mean to be 40. I'm just blown over by all that SAM. This fic is really about Dean's misery in s7 but it's dealt with pragmatically, almost implacably; more ott than the show went on some details, but the overall vibe is nevertheless: they will get through it because this is who they are. I appreciate that always and forever. He's the one with the secret, now. He hadn't meant it to be that way. But Sam asked Dean to trust him, and Dean said okay because he was sorry for using the F-word. Sorry for putting that look on Sam's face, for making him feel like a freak, the way he hadn't been for laying him out with his fist. It's ridiculous, how he still folds like a house of cards where Sam's concerned, no matter how many times he's told himself he won't do it again. But now he's stuck with the lie, and has no one to blame but himself.

That's probably enough to be going on with. If you read these, please leave a comment to tell the author that you appreciate their work, because it should be appreciated.

[painsandconfusion]

do u ever struggle with feeling guilty about writing or enjoying whump

Absolutely. At least, I used to.

I've posted about this before, so you might find a more in-depth answer somewhere on my blog (I do NOT expect you to have seen that - just saying someone could probably dig it up if this seems brief)

My relationship with whump was always just shame until I was 17 or so and had a friend who loved whumpy things. We didn't know or use that term, but she wrote a lot of dark fiction and we wrong things together. Lots of angst and torture and stuff. Still, everyone saw it as so taboo, and once we drifted apart I didn't get back into it until I discovered the whump community when I was about 20.

I made a blog, then deleted it. Then made another. Then deleted that one. I was just kinda drowning in shame and worry about it (I grew up in a very conservative home), and I never really did anything with it until I wassss 24? I made a post just continuing someone else's prompt list and I got a TON of notes.

Just getting some positive affirmation on something I created helped me a lot. Then over the last two years I've stopped worrying about it nearly so much, have found confidence and better understanding of why I love what I love, and have gotten a lot more open about it.

Now I don't worry really at all or feel bad about it. I think I was always jsut so afraid that it made me a bad person, but now I'm confident in the knowledge that it doesn't and that I'm just the same as I was before I posted a ton or ran servers or did whumpy roleplays.

It comes with a lot of time, self reflection, and understanding the topics, but it does get easier. Hang in there, friend 🫂

[luffyvace]

hello lol I'm back

I'm the same anon who requested saiki w younger sister

may I request saiki younger sister meeting his gf ?

(idk if you do stuff the is like continue form another post if u Dont u may delete this request)

HIII again anon!! <3

yes you may!~ from the last hcs I’m assuming reader is the younger sister, btw!

Yes I in fact do! I don’t mind at all! 🩷

The two least annoying people meeting! How cute 🌺

here’s one from the same anon focusing on just Saiki and sister (reader) <3

Saiki definitely wouldn’t be the one to suggest you two meet

not because he doesn’t want you to, but just because he doesn’t feel the urge to introduce the two of you

so either his gf asked once she found out about you or you asked after you found out about her

or maybe you’ve known about each other for a while but never got a chance to properly meet each other!

actually I think it’s mostly likely that it went down as: Saiki’s gf came over to his house (after a lot of begging because he didn’t want her to meet his parents 😆). you two saw each other while your were in the kitchen, living room- etc. either you or she said “who’s that?” and Saiki said “my sister/gf” as he pulled gf away to his room :)

so you probably only have seen each other before

don’t get me wrong he loves the both of you dearly, but he’s just not the type of guy to bring up his loved ones in a conversation unless asked, and even then it has to be with good reason 😅

-now for the actual meeting!! 🤗

Saiki would literally sit you two down in his room and go “(you), this is (gf), (gf), this is (you)”

you’d have to carry the convo from there unless you want it to be that short….

That’d be beneficial if your super introverted like Saiki, but was just kinda curious as to who she was 🤷‍♀️

I don’t feel his gf would be a super extrovert… but I’ll put a little scenario for both personalities anyway :)

if she’s extroverted/regularly friendly,

she’d probably reintroduce herself with her full name, and ask some questions about you! She’ll find you cute and start to think of you as a sister in law almost..! It’s kinda too soon since her and Saiki aren’t married yet but since they’re definitely trying to keep this relationship a secret from you and your brother’s parents..you’ll be the first wedding invite!! <3

She starts to basically “adopt” you LOL!

takes you out to fun spas and has girl time with you!! It’s so cute! 🤗💗💗

if she has siblings she low key favors you over them…..😁

As for a more introverted/calm gf,

she’d probably just (maybe awkwardly) say hi and wave a bit

once again..! hope your extroverted or the conversation will die off there…you end up just returning to your room and wondering questions about her, instead of asking them out loud. 😅

eventually I do think you two’ll warm up. maybe you won’t go out as often since she’s introverted, even if your not. Buuut..! the both of you still have plenty of fun together!! 💗

she gifts you stuff whenever she comes over and will indulge in your likes/hobbies with you! <33

now let’s completely flip the switch—just for fun 🤩

if your jealous/dislike her (one sided),

eek..tbh I don’t think Kusuo would be willing to break up with her just because you dislike her. You’d have to give a really good and truthful reason for him to do that.

soooo you’d pretty much just scowl at her whenever she comes over.. :(

if your upset because you think she’s stealing Kusuo away from you- honey just ask to hang out with your big brother 🤦‍♀️

you’d likely get along if you’d just communicate that

if it’s for some other reason Kusuo will just ignore you (unless it’s valid, as stated), and his gf gives you a confused look before moving on…🗿

on the other hand……❗️

if she’s jealous/dislikes you (one sided),

she’s now the one giving you the cold shoulder, always sticking her nose up at you and telling Kusuo your being annoying 😒

ick..

anyway Kusuo would ask her what she doesn’t like about you and unless it’s valid he’ll just keep you separated

honestly I can’t see him sticking with someone stuck up anyway so karma 😂

But if she’s not snobby and acts normally, yk? Like pretending you like them until they leave to be polite type normal- 😃 then he really just tries to keep you apart

Say you actually did something to make her dislike you, he’ll use his powers to give a (harmless) revenge and teach you a lesson- (LOL)

either that or he snitches if it’s a situation that’s easier for his mom to handle (especially since I feel y’all mom would love his gf)

if you dislike each other,

now that’s a whole different story. He loves you both and really doesn’t know what to do about it. Would first try to talk it out with y’all cuz he’s not gonna betray one for the other, he gives unbiased opinions and if no one’s right he’ll help you comprise some sort of peace treaty.

Now, whoever breaks it is the one in the wrong. Ik big brains right? 😼

On another note,

if your chaotic like his friends he’ll try to keep you two from meeting for as long a possible. Which…considering his luck you meet fairly quickly regardless 😆🤜💥

his gf won’t notice how chaotic you are (like how most ppl w/ out powers are oblivious) and will love you anyway! ☺️ I mean..unless your a weirdo chaotic like nendo 😂

Imagine you start liking each other more than him he’s gonna be pretty darn tiggered-

he uses his powers to get your likeability meters for each other to go down juuust a bit! 😁

something to get you to dislike in the other but not enough to wanna stop being friends 🗿😃

helping him keep gf away from Kuusuke is a must after you learn of her‼️ (y’all parents too) he knows it’ll inevitably happen at LEAST once but if he could minimize it to JUST once that’ll be enough for him 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

you race her all over the city while trying to come up with an excuse as to why, while Kusuo plays a game with Kuusuke to distract him 😒

as painful as it is, it’s better than your eldest brother meeting his gf- he just knows it won’t go well 🙄

or not- 😀 if your chaotic along with said Kuusuke….then it’ll be a war- refer to my previous hcs to know what I’m talking about ☺️💗

In this case you would be keeping tabs on Kusuo to update Kuusuke as to where they are, so he can pop up and be like “heyyy brother heard you were in town- oh! Who’s this? 😏”

ORRR going with Kusuo and his gf so if he wants to teleport he can’t! Bc then if the gf goes “huh?….Did we just teleport?!” and Saiki says “hm? no…?” You can be like “huh!? Yeah we did!! I swear we were just in that store over there! (🤪)” and that way she’ll have confirmation as to what just happened 😊 then!!

Kuusuke will use the confusion to sneak up on Kusuo and introduce himself 😜

Btw this is in the case he’d want to keep his powers away from his gf as long as possible, since he already views it as a nuisance himself and doesn’t want her to ask to use them- 😂🤷‍♀️

I had way more to write abt this topic than I thought I would!! I must say, I rather enjoyed this myself! Hope you did too my love~

-Brook 🏴‍☠️