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inkskinned Ā· 1 year ago
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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hinamie Ā· 7 months ago
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7/3: pov u r nanami kento pleased that i managed to pull smth together in time for your bday
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starspilli Ā· 8 months ago
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FINALLY did some of the x men & dc crossover stuff thatā€™s been rattling around in my head lol. & trust me i have more. i just think these ones would have interesting / funny dynamics lol
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idontmindifuforgetme Ā· 1 year ago
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i canā€™t show it to him bc itā€™s basically my personal diary he went ā€œoh so I canā€™t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??ā€ he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#Itā€™s just so different#even though itā€™s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head Iā€™m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts Iā€™d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. Iā€™m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile Iā€™ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. Iā€™m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. itā€™s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& Iā€™ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc Iā€™m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least itā€™s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and Iā€™m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#itā€™s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and itā€™s low stress and people get me#I donā€™t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. itā€™s just nice to have this#so idk thatā€™s why I think Iā€™ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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nyancrimew Ā· 3 months ago
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you don't actually need to reblog posts explicitly tagged as "forcefem" just to say how much you personally wouldn't like that, it's clearly not for you and you can filter that tag if you don't want to see it.
idk generally confused by tumblr users obsession with reblogging posts that they clearly weren't in the target audience of just to say they personally don't like x thing. u can just move on without showing the post to ur followers and filling up the notes.
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thecmaly Ā· 4 months ago
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really? right in front of my karaage?
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more windbreaker comics
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shouyuus Ā· 5 days ago
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hi. thinking about painting vi's nails in arcane canon, and how she's so expressive with her hands, and how it's her main love language, how much she'd have to trust you to trust you with her hands, but you're so delicate with it, holding them so gently between your fingers as you layer thin coats of the bright pink polish over them, blowing on each layer to help it dry faster.
how she'd be staring at you the whole time, instead of what you're doing to her nails, because you're so focused, so intent on getting it perfect (she wants to lean in and kiss you, but she doesn't want to distract you either; a part of her wishes that she could stay in this moment forever, just you holding her hands, your knees pressed against each other on the rumpled sheets of your shared bed, the air between you liquid with warmth).
"and... done -- now you have to let it dry." you lean back, grinning to yourself, looking way too pleased.
vi looks at her freshly painted nails, holding them up, fingers apart, a grin teasing at her lips.
"they look good, princess. thanks."
you crinkle your nose, and vi feels the familiar tug behind her navel as she resists the urge to lean forward and jerk you to her for a kiss (she'd ruin her nails though, and she thinks she wants to keep them perfect).
"you have such pretty hands," you say, capping the nail polish and plopping it onto the bedside table, "and now they're even prettier!"
"mm... kinda sad i can't use them for a while though," vi says, curling her fingers in to stare at them again. her smile goes lopsided as she hears your breath hitch.
"i-it's just till they dry," you say. but already, you're biting your lips, and it takes every modicum of self control in vi not to pin you to the bed beneath her.
"yeah? how long's that usually take?" she asks, inching forward on her knees and pressing her palms against the wall as you back up against it. you lick your lips.
"u-usually like... an hour but --!" you cut off as vi's mouth falls open --
"an hour?"
"i used a top-coat so it's only like... five to ten-ish minutes... supposedly," you amend hurriedly.
vi cocks her head, "that's... better." she glances at the slightly cracked alarm clock on the bedside table before her eyes slingshot back to you, still backed up against the wall, her palms on either side of your face.
"so, how long do you think it's been, hm?"
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shriika Ā· 8 months ago
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"Give me your hands, let me touch youā€¦ and you, and you, and you too!"
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skellydun Ā· 2 years ago
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Actual Phone Conversation I Had With A Girl Absolutely Going Through It This Morning:
me very quickly: hi this is dylan from x. how are you today? is now a good time to talk?
girl on the phone: what? oh you know! it's just work, work, work.
me: haha yeah! Just another busy Monday :)
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 11 seconds: sometimes i wish it would just stop. it's relentless. and it's every week! how many mondays can someone go through?
me trying to do my job: ha ha i know right? so I'm calling--
girl on the phone i have known for exactly 16 seconds: i'm so tired. i'm soooooo tired. shelby kept me up all night again. she will not get over keegan. they keep calling each other just to yell i swear to god.
me: only 4 days till the weekend and some sleep! :D
girl: yeah. but she's sleeping with me. at my house. didn't he tell you? who is going to get the dog? or the fucking 300 dollar blender I got them?
me: unfortunately no! so i would love to know more but the reason i'm calling is to get you scheduled for x job interview are you still interested?
girl whispering: what?
me awkwardly: it's...i'm dylan. from x. the x job you applied for. we would like to interview you for it.
girl: oh my god. no. oh my - I am so sorry. I thought you were my friend--I cannot believe--I told you work was relentless. I don't really mean that! I talked about blenders!
me: no, no I totally get it. It can be. But that's why you're interviewing for somewhere better! Tell Shelby to apply too! Do you have any availability on Thursday?
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ratfest Ā· 10 months ago
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entnoot Ā· 11 months ago
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Hello fellow dungeon meshi fans, I recently redrew the Senshi waiting meme specifically so I could make him into a sticker and put him places.
Here he is waiting for the bus, at the doctors office and also at the park :)
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ryllen Ā· 9 months ago
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i only realize zayne's arms is full of scars when he rolled his sleeves higher on Exclusive Tutorial
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karda Ā· 8 months ago
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the innate horror of google earth
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elitisim Ā· 11 months ago
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FADES WAVES AND TAPERS -CONVERSION COLLECTION
So I recently reached 500 followers, which is likeĀ CRAZYĀ because I've only been posting content for a month?! The overwhelming amount of love and support I've received over the past month has made me misty-eyed on more than one occasion, ngl. Y'all have been so sweet and so wonderful and soĀ extremelyĀ encouraging, I'm so proud to be part of this communityšŸ’™! So, as a little thank-you present for everyone and as a nice end-cap for all the black male hair spam I did for Black History Month I've decided to drop a conversion collection ofĀ 21 male hairs themed around waves, fades and tapersĀ for y'all!
Thank you so much everyone!
INFO:
None of this is my original work! All credit goes to @ceeproductions, @estrojans, @hellagoodsims,@xxblacksims, @xldsims, @pralinesims, & @mathcopesims.
Set contains 21 hairs for for Teen āž¤ Elder Males
all of these hairs are gameplay safe! most of them are around 500 polys, the largest ones clock in at about 5k poly at most.
1024x textures
hairs are too short for root/tip controls so they're only 2 channels
credits, preview pictures, links to originals, poly counts and individual download links for every hair is under the cut.
these are meshes! the hair is NOT painted on the sims head like BG hairs!
but on the brightside that means they don't get that shiny look painted on hairs have.
some hairs have slight clipping issues around the temples but hopefully nothing too crazy tbh.
Tagging: @pis3update, @naturalhair-sims3, @xto3conversionsfinds, @kpccfinds
[DOWNLOAD MERGED]
[DOWNLOAD UNMERGED]
[PICK AND CHOOSE]
CREDITS:
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@ceeproductions:Ā Taper Fade // 1.9k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans:Ā Sharp Waves Redux Curve // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Afro Short // 4.3k Poly // [Download Here]
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@estrojans::Ā Sharp Waves Redux: Temp Fade// 500 Poly// [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Brian Waves// 4.3k Poly // [Download Here] @estrojans:Ā Sharp Waves Redux// 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@estrojans:Ā Sharp Waves Redux: Flame Design// 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Amaru Fade// 2.1k Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: AD Taper FadeĀ // 5.1k Poly // [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Caesar Fade / /500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Taper with Long PartĀ //500 Poly// [Download Here] @mathcopesims: Kevin Hair / 500 Poly// [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Korey Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-15 WavesĀ // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-13 WavesĀ // 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@hellagoodsims: Wolverine Claw Fade // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: PG-14 Waves // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @hellagoodsims: Lance 720 WavesĀ // 500 Poly // [Download Here]
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@pralinesims: Nonstop Buzzcut // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xxblacksims: Waves on Swim // 500 Poly // [Download Here] @xldsims: The Vindicator // 2.5k Poly // [Download Here]
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why-the-heck-not Ā· 3 months ago
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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yuwuta Ā· 9 months ago
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you ask yuuta if he wants a bite of your food and when he says yes you offer your plate to him, but heā€™s just sat there looking at you with his dumb big bambi boy eyes and his mouth slightly open and he will not look away or blink or close his mouth until you lift your fork to his lips to feed him and then he grins like shitā€™s sweet and hums about how good the food is like nothing happenedĀ like heā€™s not ridiculously attractive. gonna chew on steel
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