#if u ever sell prints I WANT THIS ONE

[midoristeashop]

EMMMAAAAAAA A

Whatever dread Hiccup was harboring inside him vanished. Snow gathered at the edges of his vision as he leaned in to kiss Jack goodbye. He was in love — he was loved. He wanted to ask Jack if he could come with him this time. The fierce desire to step over the threshold of Berk with both Toothless and Jack by his side reared its head, but he swallowed it for now, content with the chilly pressure of Jack’s forehead against his. He was in love, he was loved, and he was struck with a deep certainty that he would do anything to keep that love in his life. He shivered from the gentle sensation of Jack’s claws tracing his cheekbone. He’d keep this. As long as Jack loved him. He’d keep this.

It’s not the exact anniversary, but last April I posted the first WWH drawing which led to me meeting the some of the loveliest people, making a genuine friendship, and rapidly developing my artistic style and writing voice. It’s so bizarre to think this crack crossover ship would mean so much to me in the last year but it did. What is in the water here. Anyway. Thank you for engaging with my work, it means the world!

[vintagelacerosette]

Tag game 🩷💕

I was tagged by these mystical

Kat @mybrainismelted Evie @energievie Deanna @deedala

Deena @suzy-queued Sam @samantitheos

Jen @wehangout Jaclyn @crossmydna Pie @gallapiech

Name: Myn

Location: Roo land unda 🦘

Did you collect anything as a child? Barbie movie DVDs!

Do you collect anything now? I'm collecting Gallavich doll merch by angel_andrew2233

(I took them to my birthday party lol)

Plus a collection of art prints & keychains from local artists & y'all 😁

I also collect crystals & i have a friend love to gift them to me so I call her my crystal dealer lmao

Also blind boxes that have cute figurines & some anime figurines too. Some are still in boxes bc I haven't got a place to display yet lol

What random piece of office equipment do you have a weird attachment to? I really like the really long sticky notes bc when we're quiet I'll be making lists & doodling. We rotate our desks so I have to grab a new one or find them in different degrees of thickness from use.

Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm. Right: New nail polish I bought from the brand ILNP that's magnetic so I can try the cat eye nail trend! Left: My laptop

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? I have my licence not currently driving, But on my first drive to work after passing my test I popped a tire after hitting the curb of a roundabout 😅 I cried to my manager at work after the shock wore off.

You’ve been given $1000 but you can only spend it at one store. which store do you choose? Ohhh I think my place of choice would be a store called W cosmetics bc it's got Asian skincare, makeup & sells the blind boxes too lol

What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? I think maybe my sweetness & earnestness to get you know new ppl. Also same with Deanna make art hehe

What's your go-to flavour for cough drops? Butterscotch

What does your latest text message from someone else say? Friend asking if I want to vent session

What are your preferred pizza toppings? When I'm fancy love me some mushrooms, truffle oil, spinach & burrata. Then for normal my go to is the domino's double bacon cheese burger bc it's got meat & a swirl of mayo on top that makes it my fave haha

I'll tagg these pretty peaches if they wanna play or anyone else if they wanna play 🍑💕

@look-i-love-u @burninface @lingy910y @iansw0rld

@mickittotheman @rereadanon @heymacy @heymrspatel

@takeyourpillsbitchh @ms-moonlight-inn @deathclassic

@too-schoolforcool @sam-loves-seb @sgtmickeyslaughter

@lupeloto @chicanomick @creepkinginc @ian-galagher

@michellemisfit @friend-bear @pookiebearmick

[tiny-vermin]

I want to know more about the m9 artist au!! I remember reading a post or two about it a billion years ago (and would love to read them again) 💜

hi jess!!!! thank u for being interested hehe :")

so ever since i drew that lil thing of essek painting a frank stella inspired painting (or even before), ive been thinking of what kinds of art each of the m9 would do. essek ofc is inspired by a minimalist show that i went to here, all the big names from that movement were shown, but those really dark, sinkhole-like paintings are speaking to me. another artwork of boxes made of mirrors also seems like the thing he would do too

there's a kiln here that we visited which was huge, and surrounding it were artists' studios and some other ceramic sellers, i imagine the clay family having a place like this in the middle of nowhere amongst the trees, and caleb would do his work there

anyways because at heart im a shadowgast luver its centred around them,, they meet at an artist residency or something like that and its an incredibly slow burn that involves talking and not-talking and looking and not-looking. in the end i am but a simple wong kar wai fan so. that kinda vibes would definitely influence this, i would describe it as a quiet burning i guess?? time skipy and words that are not said

i think im gonna rant a bit more about their different mediums and styles so i'll keep it under the cut

i think caleb sculpts figures and portraits, but in a sad, kathe kollwitz charcoal vibe. maybe some funky looking animals, perhaps some pots and vases to look at the pretty glazes. he's interested in using fire to burn texture into different mediums, like ive seen it being used on shellac to make a really cool net of ink looking structure.. but yknow, just seeing the aftermath of glazed ceramic from the kiln is enough, and probably better for him to keep his distance anyways

the clay family produces most of the ceramic to sell, vases, pots, plates, cups, teapots, yknow just a whole array. and its really colourful too, depicting every family members different style. i think caduceus would do some matte glazes with a lot of different colours, theyre all a little wonky but theyre better off that way anyways. he does some really mean ink calligraphy and painting though

jester definitely does,, everything, whatever her heart desires kinda thang. she makes pastel textile installations and lighthearted cute paintings, but theyre always so contemplative and soothing. she gets m9 a lot of work cus her mom has connections, etc etc. i really love the idea of jester creating works that talk about the female body and femininity (definitely not projecting no)

beau is a printmaker and photographer who's really experimental, she loves cyanotypes and printing flowers (for yasha), idk she seems like she would put fabric and rocks into the washing machine to see what would happen. u would probably catch her in someone elses studio learning about what they do or in the library learning about what old people did

veth works in a museum as a curator, getting beau to help her sometimes with gathering artworks and artists etc. she probably organises community art projects for kids and public art installations. her house is full of m9's artworks and various other artists shes worked with.

yasha does bouquets as her post-retirement part time job, prior to that no one really knows what she did ("she probably murdered a bunch of people and is now hiding from the government"). fjord draws comics for fun but is also not a job for him, molly is a question mark for me. but these guys probably wont be in it as much anyways

im still not sure what format i wanna do this in, im actually having fun just writing it in my notebook now (digital does not facilitate the creative juices) but i do want to do some visuals like fake movie stills or storyboards. maybe they will work together well???? dunno. working on the other shadowgasty thing im doing made me realise how much easier it is to draw when there's a script already there, so im writing the script for myself

im definitely not as practiced in writing as i am in drawing, but idk im just gonna have some fun and see where that takes me, meanwhile try not to feel too bad that its fanart HAHA (very bad habit)

edit: i just saw my previous thoughts on beau being an art journalist, but i kinda like this better.. but maybe she can do both muah

[gumbootillustrations]

day 18 - headcanon

i had too many so no drawing today. instead, i offer a list.

bogan laurance. or, more specifically, bogan meteli. like cmonnn u Cannot tell me that meteli (esp old meteli) is just a standin for small-town new zealand/australia. anyway, they all have aussie/nz accents. laurs is the most obvious bc i think its funny. @shadowqnights @abxolotl this one goes out for you guys <3

on that note, ru'aun's environment is basically new zealand's. especially the sacred forest - it has major nz bush vibes. like.

cmon u Cannot tell me that these were taken in the sacred forest of ru'aun.

anyway. travis gets kept up at night by kiwi screaming at each other (seriously. take a listen.)

also, tu'la is inspired by the roman empire. ill probs elaborate on this in the future.

necromancer cadenza! i've spoken abt this before here if u want to see a bit more :3

irene's cathedral/dimension/whatever is less cathedral and more eldritch labyrinth. specifically, i envision it to be a lot like the theatre of domination from honkai impact 3rd.

garroth gardens in his free time! it's how he grows all the flowers for his flower crowns.

meif'wa are werecats; they can 'tuck in' their ears and tails like werewolves can (but it's generally super uncomfortable, no matter the species), and have a sort of hybrid cat-human form that they can also shift into.

melissa is the first ultima - i sort of got into it in this post, but essentially after mel comes back to find falconclaw destroyed and her siblings, aaron and lilly, dead (to the best of her knowledge - aaron is still alive, however), she strikes a deal with a goat-eyed being to bring them back, but because the fine print was specifically worded to fuck her over, her soul ends up getting fused with the wolf that she sacrifices for the ritual and she gets ultima'd.

also, lilly is now aaron and mel's younger sister. she's a ghost.

juror relics! i hate hate Hate how the jurors never get fleshed out in canon, so i gave them a bit more backstory in ashes, ashes. their powers originally came from smaller, less powerful relics that xavier carved off of his own, but after they get lost, they become figureheads for a long time until about 20-25 years prior to the start of ashes, ashes. there's a bit more on this in my day 20 post, pinky promise.

the generals of the shadow lord's army are called "death knells", and although they lead their own units/squadrons/whatever, their primary purpose is to oppose the divine warriors; including the shadow lord (who opposes irene), there are only ever seven death knells at one time. an example of a death knell is gene, who is intended to oppose kul'zak.

zianna is a witch, although, for most of her life, her abilities were passed off as her having prophetic magicks; these 'magicks' are why she was married off to garte, as the ro'meave line wanted to introduce these magicks into the family. unfortunately, the heir, garroth, didn't inherit his mother's abilities, but her two other children, zane/zuwellyn and vylad, did.

nicole is a half elf from her mum's side; her mum is matilda's sister, making her and levin first cousins. this is based on matilda lowkey looking really similar to nicole. idk i just think its fun.

garte sells out o'khasis to tu'la for more power during s2, thus transferring the jury of nine into the control of the king. it's a whole mess, and in the process, he essentially scapegoats zianna by faking his death.

however, this does make zianna lord of o'khasis. we love a girlboss.

the relics have different effects on their wielders; for example, esmund's relic makes its wielders a lot more physically dense, meaning that they'll sink into softer surfaces like sand and mud. xavier's relic turns its wielders hair red.

consequently, zane has red roots. he dyes his hair black (its natural colour) to hide them.

katelyn has the moniker of "the dragon of o'khasis". the phoenix drop gang mostly assumes that it's because she's ruthless on the battlefield... until she decides that the best course of action is to breathe fire at an opponent uncle iroh-style.

katelyn is also Stupidly superstitious. like. she fully believes in the sweater curse and will Refuse to walk under a ladder even if theres no other available path.

mys!nicole gets forever potioned. this has Consequences for the home gang during the events of s5-s6.

speaking of mys!nicole, her and dante are queerplatonic coparents to dmitri. they had him when they were in uni after a brief fling. he's the street's baby.

anyway i think thats abt it. lmk if u have any questions :3

(ps two days until day 20)

[queerdraws]

I'M IN LOVE WITH YOUR ART, will you ever sell the last ones for the playlist in pdf or something like that? I'm from Brazil so is easy for me in those formats, and i would love to buy one. ❤💚❤💚

Thank youuu!! pdf? like I sell the fullsize image digitally & you'd print them off yourself? I hadn't thought abt that! I'd still need to redraw them at a larger size for print tho Here's the current sizing issue:

I genuinely wasn't expecting people to want merch lmaoo, I'm just drawing for my own sake (these were a fun lil side project) But esp since this is the third time someone's asked abt merch of these, I'm considering it! (gonna use these to fund my vitamin d tablet & multivitamin supply 😏) 🥲 i'm really glad my art is resonating w people so much ❤️

I know it's less of a "thing" these days but as w any of my art, u (and all my followers) have my permission to print out the tiny versions i've posted to tumblr [just for personal use, not for profit] & put them up on your wall or w/e. like those old-school anime collages.

If I do ever make a better print-size version, and u still want it, u can always buy it whenever that happens :)

[mermaidsirennikita]

You mentioned how authors are forced to write differently with trad publishing vs indie , which ones do u mean? I'm curious...

"Forced" probably isn't the right word, but "heavily encouraged" [by the companies signing the checks] is closer.

Here's the thing with traditional publishing right now. You walk into a bookstore or Target or whatever--you may very well find some very high heat books. I've seen Sierra Simone in Target. However, all those titles were originally published independently, and Sierra works with a publisher who essentially strikes a deal where they handle print and get the books into those stores, whereas (from what I can tell) she maintains the digital rights.

Traditional publishing offers some releases that are quite high heat, but like... Tessa Bailey's trad books, for example, aren't touching the upper echelons of indie in terms of heat. Because trad is meant to appeal to as broad an audience as possible, and tbh, trad has been swinging safer in a lot of ways.

Ali Hazelwood's books are praised for being high heat--The Love Hypothesis only has one full sex scene, though it's long. If you've read Ali's fanfiction (... which I have) she writes way dirtier than that. She mentioned on a podcast that when they were shopping TLH, she was encouraged by her agent to trim the sex down to make her MS more appealing to publishers. That's the kind of thing I'm talking about.

With historical romance, I think there's a little more tension, because trad is very confused about who they're marketing historicals to. Like, some of them still seem to be pointed towards conservative white ladies imo--women who want a very sort of... straight, missionary, wait until the wedding night type of historical. Whereas I think they should be making more of an appeal to a younger gen. Some of them seem to be basically giving up on that, though. But I digress.

ANYWAY.

Authors I can think of right now--Minerva Spencer writes indie historical romance under the pen name S.M. LaViolette. Some of the LaViolette books are straight up erotic historical romance so obviously they're higher heart than her trad books. But even those that aren't are much higher heat than her traditional books. Like Hyacinth for example--not an erotic historical imo, but it has waaaay more sex scenes, and more creativity (hero coming untouched during a whipping scene, butt stuff which you HARDLY EVER see in trad historicals).

Joanna Shupe has published trad and indie HR. I consider her books on the higher heat end of trad historicals. However, if you read her indie novellas, they are higher heat, they're kinkier--all that. Lol never mind her mafia romances which are a very different game. In indie, Joanna did a BIG age gap romance, a virgin auction romance, a scene where the hero licked up his come and the heroine's ~virgin's blood~ after he deflowers her... you're not gonna see that in trad lol.

Eva Leigh also writes on the higher end of the heat scale in trad, but her indie historicals are different--and it isn't just the explicitness or quantity. As with Joanna, it's the kink, too. The creativity. She wrote MFM, age play, etc. You can just go a lot further.

And I mean? I would also say that you can see a big difference in authors that aren't hybrid. Grace Callaway has tons of sex scenes in her historicals, and they're long and creative and she DOES in fact include butt stuff in the books! Nicola Davidson does really fun poly historicals. When Sierra Simone wrote historicals, there was obviously group sex, kinky stuff, etc.

You just see a really big chasm, bigger than I'd say you see with other subgenres, between trad HR and indie HR. And I can only assume that it's because of an industry pressure. With indie, you can do whatever you want. With trad, there's a standard to conform to because before you sell to readers, you're selling to a publisher.

[gamenburger]

update on Review of the Killer print versions

Hello everyone who has followed me after my zine release. Thank you! You can expect other (hopefully) cool things from me about many things both niche and big, so look forward to that.

But about some things I'll be releasing probably tonight:

So what many of you might not know is that I finished playing Anthology of the killer, fell in love with it, and realized I needed to write something about it- esp when I discovered the bonus zine tucked away in the files. I realized that the steam release was in 14 days, and so i tried to do something I never do: finish something on a short deadline. This meant my life sort of became this zine outside of work (and inside of work. wouldn't it be cool if slime cooper ever stole time from work?? what am I saying), but even with dedication you end up running into time slipping away and things getting cut. 24 pages gets cut to 20 (which I will discuss in detail in the bonus features coming out in a few days) but the biggest thing to get shafted was the quality of the print versions. So let's really talk about this: I don't know jack shit about printing, in the way nobody knows jack shit about anything until they do it a bunch. So yes- those bleed versions are -bit- worthless since they will always provide no actual bleed on one side. Those black and white versions will look, well, strange. because they unfortunately use a lot of red, which will look very dark in greyscale. I also use a lot of flats because it looks nice in color, but in grey you really need images to have a lot more space (except for the black zones. Tbh I love wasting ink on a big blob of ink for contrast sometimes. I do it IRL all the time with my actual ink). In addition, it turns out printer settings that have booklet modes will force margins on the interior page side as well. It means I need to make versions of the pages that are pre formatted to print booklet mode, rather than relying on you to have a printer that does the hardwork for you. I was simply running out of time, and needed to get *something* out that could be printed.

Also it turns out if you don't bundle everything in a zip file, nobody downloads the readme. There was useful stuff in there!!! But I understand. I know why you wouldn't read it. I'm just shaking my head over here because i literally declare my love for you (yes you, reading this) in the readme. SMH, once again. So here is what i'm doing tonight:

extending the border trim of all pages so that way the master bleed version will ACTUALLY have room for bleed (1/8th of an inch around) for both formats.

Make new print versions that ALSO have the bleed room left in for Letterhead and A4, in case you felt like getting these professionally printed. I do all my stuff homegrown, so this truly is for in case you wanted to sell these. Which you totally can!! But I say that because I'm picturing someone actually thinking the thought "i'm going to print this zine read by about 150 people and print it for mega profit, and ill do this by spending 500 dollars at a print shop" and my brain instead pictures a dog dressed in a really cute clown outfit instead, because seriously who is that? Just print some printer copies and give them to some bookstores. Keep the money they give u so you can make the money on material back, and maybe buy some more cool artist's stuff.

Looking at all my pages and adjusting them by hand to be more economic for black and white printers in new separate Greyscale editions. This will include adjusting some colors manually, as well as doing that cool dot thing that printers do (well, i guess all printers do this just really finely) to save on ink. Plus the texture will look better on crazy cool looking paper. Seriously go visit a paper store. They make all sorts of nuts stuff. Read the manual for your home printer too- it can take a lot more punishment than you realize.

Correcting some egregious spelling mistakes. I am sorry. Lmfao. grant me this one indulgence since I literally gave everyone a free pass to distribute it.

Zip up all the print versions together in organized folders, along with and updated readme, including new instructions for all the versions as well as how to print these if you have a printer that doesn't do double sided printing. I glibly said "just go to library" in the original readme, but seriously. I had no clue how to do anything as a baby child and so i have deep sympathies for anyone in the exact position I was (not knowing anything+not having anything).

The in browser version might get updated as well. I'm not honestly sure tho... part of me is super against editing. but man those grammar errors on the paper doll pages are bad... lol anyways have fun with these. If you print them/ give them out you do not have to give me money- although i like money. well, i like not not having money, if that makes sense. but im already not not not having money, so thats why i'm fine with you all selling it- I'm not a starving artist, and I would rather u all get some of that not not not having money in your life so you can spread it around to artists who are! And if you print them, please show me pictures, esp if they go on a shelf or in a library somewhere. I love seeing things out and about. And once again, thank you for reading and sharing this online. This has crossed the threshold for everything else I've ever published as far as confirmed reads, and i've received a lot of kind words from a lot of kind folks about things I've personally agonized about trying to get right. Its validating. Its nice.

okay kids, you can go back to playing. thank you for listening to this old skeleton tell you some things about paper.

[not-another-robin]

ok if i ever got the chance to make a custom t-shirt, could i use the name of ur blog (the "autism be damned he can bat that man") on one it just brings me so much joy,, even a variation of that too it's just so great, i wouldn't make a bunch of prints n sell em or wtv it'd just be for personal wear but i figured i'd ask in case there were any reason u wouldn't want that to happen cuz if so i totally understand :]]

That would be awesome!! And I'm probably not the first to come up with it lol, feel free!

[cheeseandbretboy]

the painting i continued (from longer than a year ago) has too bright white highlights so i need to get rid of them AND quite possibly it would be nice to just give up and do whaeter and get on the train just ot look at all the stations i havent seen before nd cvt and listten to whip your kids on repeat again and again and have no money to afford to eat and find someone who is just so ?? and mean but not in that non self absorbed self absorbed way and stupid because everyone has too much to look forward to and too much to complain about and that makes everyone so yucky and hypocritical and ughghurejne me whenni have work tmr ALSO need to print out more movie photos AND anyone i meet gets so human and i get sick of them so easily but not myself so i will always be alone and thats a good thing unless im not listening to music then it is not so good bc i can hear my breathing an feel my skin also what even is life without music its just ------------------ no ty i do not want to be like amber or ritchie but oh i did thrift their shoes and also jasons but hes kind of an L WAIT that makes so much sense anyway that scene where they are walking in the store with the heavy combat boots that have been discontinued (why?) and a shotgun wow! imagine being tricked by a soda can what a loser anyway the sehleves ive built are really nice and after doing that with hands blistered and joints sore i realised i can fit everythign insdie it and oh god im gonna lose absolutely everything! and thn something even WoORSE hit me that none of this even means anytnign, what the flip, imagine this format will stop and we only live in the real world what then maybe just maybe musicals make sense and then i bash my head into my desk HOW COULD U FOR A SECOND THINK MUSICALS ARE OKAY blood is spurting just likein that scene in longlegs dilf, jokes no maybe nicholas cage hes too pasty this has gotten long uve recently discovered this rly underground and unpopular artist michael jackson yea nobodies really heard of him sigh WHY DO I HAVEA FRENCH BOOK OH GOD IM GOING TO HELL people should put everything ive ever ever made into a bible because that is all i am and i am so happy that is true so yea put this in as well and all my assigmnets and paintings and digital art from 2019 and old drawings and scribbles and south park doodles and short stories ad gore and all the deleted notes of measurrements (sigh why phone) and dont forget all the photos and the annotations i rubbed out later cuz they sounded dumb and too personal remember always to make ur writing as obscure as possible because people always look to make everything about them hey emotions are really stupid our brains are amazing at finding information so much of it but our conciousness is preoccupied with other stupid stuff like education and being horny so all we get is emotions that have been processed information so hey our thinking brain really is in the back seat and we cant change it yk im bnad! im bad! u knowit really really bad megamind... evan peters is eyeing me rn.. i did a really good job of diverting my mental problems its actually really good but i am hoping we can get back to them once they get fixed and maybe this dependence wiol go away too right maybe and wait a darn second are you telling me i wont find myself a tim burton anti hero what the flip unbelievable may i get a refund never sell your doc martens just break them in please the blisters and pus and blood will pass and they will be great i swear unless theyre the max platform types then u might have to keep getting pain but thats okay god dont tell me i need to work in the future although when i watched the movie for the 2nd time in cinemas there was 3 seconds where there was a doctor with a mask and wowww maybe i shld become one of those but i dontthink i have the right motivation maybe neurobiology maybe quantum mechanics mabe maybe even both like quantum mind god thats interesting but only after biology i need to get worried abt climate change and then realise OH MY GOD NOTHING MATTERS BUT OUR MINDS and thats

[omatoxin]

omg I adore your art, especially all your fish!! would you ever be open to selling prints of your works? i would buy one in a heartbeat

hello! thank u so much!! sorry i forgot to respond, I don't have a print store because idk who else would buy my stuff but I have a society6 page, where i have uploaded most of my stuff to buy as print if u wanted stuff on ur walls <3 thank u love u <3

[forksthousands]

Hey, do you ever sell prints of your work? I would very much like to purchase one of "The Seven" piece. I am interested in a a medium poster size (13x18). Feel free to DM an answer instead if you don't want to answer this publicly.

Thanks,

Britain

Hello!!!! I'm happy that u like that piece so much!! I currently don't have the means to make and sell larger scale prints, though it's smth I would be interested in doing in the future. (for the time being if you might be looking for other ways to support me and my art, I do have custom commissions open if you would like something fully unique!! (in my pinned post lol))

thank u for asking, I appreciate it! 🫶 have a lovely day

[noriaki-kak]

Another question 👀 (if that’s ok I don’t wanna bother you) but would you be willing to post any writing pieces you made of the Braithen kids,,,,it’s ok if u can’t !! It’s totally fine!!

Here’s some paw prints of my dog 🐾 as compensation idk,,,

OOH! Doggy... thank u for this offering! I wish I had more writing to share, but tbh I have a lot less written abt the Braithen kids than I'd like. Wrangling my ability to write is always a whole thing so a lot of stuff I do have is unfinished or so context dependent it's hard to tell what's goin on.

I do have one thing I can share though! I waffled on posting it because it takes place towards the latter half of Penelope's story and a LOT happens that I haven't covered yet. But I wanted to share it so I'll try and give a bit of context under the cut before the actual Thing itself!

SO, I think @dapper-comedy has mentioned some of this but just to be sure. After Leo is cursed and his father dies, the kingdom is left without a ruler. Penelope steps up and makes a bid for the crown, successfully taking the throne with support from the church and Leo's mother.

However, the decision to make this move wasn't entirely made by herself. An angel appears before her and basically tells her she's been chosen by god and given a sacred mission to save Braithen from demonic influence. He tells her that Leo is a lost cause and the only way to free him from his pain is to end him.

He's absolutely selling her a load of bullshit, making stuff up wholesale, manipulating her for his own agenda. He also goes a lot softer on the sell when they first meet, encouraging her to take the crown, hiding the more intense stuff (i.e. "saving" Leo), and kind of telling her everything she's ever wanted to hear.

She hated her father, but she also felt intense guilt near constantly for not being the model daughter she was supposed to be. Her desire for more out of life makes her feel like she's doing something wrong.

So this angel showing up, telling her god is real and approves of her, that she should grasp power and use it to make meaningful change, that she's allowed to want more out of life than being a good wife. It gets to her. Especially being in a vulnerable state after her confrontation with Leo, seeking meaning and concrete direction.

Over the years he acts as her "guardian" angel, appearing around her and offering counsel. He starts to let the act slip as time wears on and Penelope finds herself too deep in and too weary to take note or care.

This scene is one of the worst moments of Penelope's life. I believe Thea has spoken before about how Caspian tried to end things in a church after his demonic heritage is revealed to him, before his dad swoops in and takes him to live in hell instead.

This is the aftermath of that, with Penelope not knowing where Caspian is aside from the note he left behind. (Sorry girl, going through my half finished writing and so much of it is Penelope rlly goin thru it. Promise I'll write you into some kinder scenes soon queen.) So! Without further ado.

Penelope bursts through the doors of the church for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. She stumbles, rain soaked and bedraggled, down the aisle and collapses to the ground right before the last row of pews.

It wouldn’t be long before news spread. She had acted as was her way when she found the note, swallowing her feelings and drowning herself in practicality. Simple orders to find him had already been passed to any guard stationed in the area.

All night she searched, scouring every inch of the church inside and out. At first the lack of a body had given her a torturous hope, but as the horizon begins to faintly glow, the glorious light rips it from her.

She had to find him, she could find him. She would apologize for not being there. For closing herself off with Giselle’s passing, with the duties of the crown, with Leo’s sin.

Her fingers are numb as she gropes at her pocket, she can’t bring herself to actually reach inside, to touch the paper. The feel of the crumpled note through the damp fabric of her dress forces her to remain in reality, the words flooding her mind.

She would tell him it wasn’t his fault, he wasn’t a demon. He wasn’t, he could never be. She was at fault, all of this, everything… She would tell him, she would tell him-

She would find him somewhere crying. And he would wipe his tears when he saw her and smile sheepishly and pretend his eyes weren’t red. 

And she would pretend the same, or no…

She would cry and hug him, she could put off her duties tomorrow, they could have lunch. Maybe they could go out and pick blackberries, and the taste would remind them of Giselle. She would talk to him about her.

She would find him, she would, someone would. They would bring him to her, there wasn’t a body, that means he must, he must-

“What sort of wretched way must he have left this earth to not even leave a body? Perhaps his note speaks true, perhaps his corpse fell to ash in this holy place.” He speaks with a well practiced gentle pity. It’s not as if she ever feels his presence truly leave, but he had been utterly silent up to this point, and hearing him makes her freeze.

His words gall her, a disgusting fury wrenches at her bones.

“Please...” She wants to command him to be silent but her voice is hoarse and feeble. Shaky exhaustion ruins her strength, her pride. She gasps for air and tries again.

“Please do not speak of what you do not know.” It’s nothing, her words are paper thin. In this moment she is ruler of nothing, fallen to the floor. Frail and idiotic, and beholden to everything she hates.

“Does it not ease the pain? If he was indeed stained by the demonic, you’ve been spared from saving him.” She cannot see him, but she feels him close. “He was a good man, to rid the world of another demon for you.”

White hot fury flashes in her, she crosses her arms and grips at her shoulders, clawing at herself. She crumples forward, fighting the rage, the tears. She presses her forehead against the stone floor, her face contorted in a mask of agony.

The first dry sob wracks her body, ugly and stifled. Her throat is so tight, she sounds like an animal in pain.

“T-Take me. Send me to hell, please.” It is unlike her, she pleads like a child, honest in a way she hasn’t been in years.

“If everyone I love will be taken this way, send me too.” She begs foolishly, eyes screwed shut. Any pain would be better than this, an eternity burning would mercifully kill her mind.

“And what of Leonidas?” The name makes her grit her teeth and claw deeper into her shoulders.

“You would leave him in this world alone?” She lifts her head and he’s before her now. Through blurry vision she’s certain he looks more and more sickly every day.

She lurches forward and grips his arm with a desperate strength, digging into his flesh. He doesn’t flinch.

“Help me find Caspian, guide me to him.” She croaks out. A nausea rises in her, she desperately redirects the conversation. She’s so tired of him, she knows he has answers. Why can’t he just help like he used to-

“I swear to God I speak the truth when I say your friend no longer resides in this world.” His face is blank, and yet she knows he isn’t lying. This isn’t usually how he twists his words, this is a blunt hammer.

Something freezes in her, her eyes are bugged and glassy as she looks at her surroundings, as if suddenly lost. It’s like something is broken. She releases his arm and her hands fall limply to her sides. She wishes the church would collapse on top of her.

“Leave me.” There’s barely enough air in her sore lungs to form the words. “Leave me now, or kill me.”

There’s no response, when she blinks he is gone.

She is drenched in the silence, and her eyes search the cavernous cathedral from where she sits in a solitary delirium. The early morning glow alights upon the stained glass windows, and filters through warmly.

The glass eyes of the depicted figures bore into her, silent judges in her every failure and transgression. She fumbles in her pocket and pulls out the damp crumpled note. She doesn’t dare to unfurl it, or read it again, instead she presses it firm against her heart.

On the left she thinks.

Her far away eyes cast themselves upwards towards the vaulted ceilings, this prison she was born into, the prison she chose. Or did she really choose? No, this is her fault, she…

She thinks about the last time she saw Caspian, the empty look in his eyes that she ran from, and the dam breaks. 

It is an ugly and angry sound that rips through her, it would be generous to call it a sob. The tears run hot from her eyes as she curls in on herself.

The thoughts she desperately locks away spill forth in a deluge. What was the point of any of it? What has the false strength she built herself been for? What is the power she’s grasped for if she can’t use it to protect the ones she holds dearest… held dearest.

She is alone, and a hideous selfish fury washes over her. A desperate childish rage at Caspian for leaving her here alone. The feeling only fuels her self-castigation, he apologized so profusely in his note, so convinced he had done some wrong- 

She had always been the problem, not him. Sweet Caspian, kind sweet Caspian, heart so full and trusting. She can’t imagine life without him by her side, how was she supposed to…?

Memories of him pour over her. The frozen grief she stifled over Giselle’s death joins, and her rage breaks as warm thoughts of Leo intermingle. Every moment is like a new knife, loss, and loss, and loss, after loss.

How much more could she stand to lose? How much more can she fail those around her?

She crumples like the note in her hand as her grip grows tighter, and her mind goes blank with despair. Her weak sobs sound in the quiet cathedral, echoing off the intricate stonework. She cries in a way she hasn’t in years, snot pouring from her nose, body hunched and trembling. 

Her heart breaks, for the third and final time. So she mourns loudly, knowing that once the sun is risen, she will have nothing left to give.

[portableleo]

I loved ur City Fall Leo art very much (I love Foot Leo stuff so much. And Leo's IDW Foot design rocks very much), and I will probably buy the print of it. It is a very cool print!

I also loved ur art of Sophie's Foot Leo design, because I love aslo love that take on Foot Leo too, and it also looks great. The one in the actual comic rocks too, like I said, and Leo in black has always been cool to me. But that design rocked hard too. And Leo in white and/or red looks great too. And I now very much like Leo being fox and/or kitsune themed.

I am still very much hoping for Foot Leo in a cartoon and/or (animated) movie someday and done great. And hoping the design is like and/or inspired by the one in the IDW comics and/or the white and red, kitsune one Sophie made. If u ever did a print of that art and/or just one that had the white and red, Kitsune-themed Foot Leo look/design; I would also, probably buy that (too).

Ur Halloween art of the 2012 boys using the official costumes and/or looks for them (Leo as a mummy I think, Raph as a vampire I think, Donnie as Frankenstein/ Frankenstein's Monster I think, and Mikey as a werewolf I think) was great too!

I am sad I missed getting the TMNT (was it TMNT 2012 specifically, or just TMNT more generally? Either way, cool) charms this time, but for the sake of my wallet, it is probably for the better I get them when/if u decide to restock them, because I do still want to try to get them. They look very cool! I love how they look on both sides (i.e.; the fully-colored complete faces, and the other side that just has their whites ninja turtles eyes mainly. I like how Leo's side is more blue tinged too), and the expressions u gave! And the different head shapes. They just look cute.

Last of all, I have been enjoying ur TMNT: Labyrinth fic so far! And the art u do with it (the art is just nice, and the characters look cute and cool). I still need to catch up on it though. But so far, it is interesting. And I like the the more mythology stuff going on. And there being a "traitor" (but like, not really willingly) among them (lol). And the card/card symbol stuff and motifs going on. And the characterizations are really good so far. It is cool the fic is mainly more a TMNT 2003 and/or IDW one.

Alright, done (for) now, hopefully. Hahaha. 2/2.

thank you again! i hope you can snag the print once it becomes available -- i will be getting the prints made after the keychains are all shipped out!

and yeah, i love sophie's design for foot leo! i won't be using that design on anything i'll be selling, because that isn't an official design, just fanart that sophie had made, so it would be wrong for me to profit off of that. but we'll see if i ever design my own dark leo in the future (who knows)!

i hope you can snag a keychain when i get them restocked!

and lastly thank you for reading my fanfiction! i haven't updated it in awhile (the writing juices have been dormant) but i am working on it bit by bit! maybe with nanowrimo starting tomorrow, i'll be pumping more writing out, we'll see

thanks for the thoughtful asks you sent!

[scourgefrontiers]

im ngl sometimes i do think abt retrying the animation industry job thing. i dont Want to and i Wont do it, but sometimes i think about it..

ive gotten better by now and im sure i could whip up a decent portfolio now if i tried. maybe this time id actually get considered for a job lol.

again i dont plan on doing it anytime soon tbh, if ever. but if i Had to? id be ok with at least trying again, i think.

i dont have a lot of confidence w my chances of getting an industry design job, mostly due to past experiences, but also bc there are pros currently in the industry who are literally struggling to find and hold jobs themselves. so what chance do i rly have lol

PLUS if yall were around for my job hunting era u may recall it stressed me out immensely and took a Lot of the fun and enjoyment out of drawing :( plus plus...i got a couple critiques that REALLY hurt my self esteem. one of them was DIRECTLY the reason i stopped drawing cartoons and am currently struggling to find the love for cartoons i used to have. (they called my art style "tired and dated" and said "it would have been popular 20 yeara ago" which erm. really fucking hurt lol. so i stopped and changed styles to be "more appealing" to people)

if i ever did get an industry job id really have to try and find a balance to where i dont hate art bc of it and still enjoy doing personal pieces. i love doing comms! but its a struggle to make money sometimes with just comms, and i physically + mentally cant do anything besides work from home art stuff. so unless i make an original comic to print and sell, i think the industry is the only choice i have left

[beesonjupiter]

live commentary, as i experience moonlight chicken for the first time ep8

i have returned from my slumber and am finally watching episode 8

Also what do you mean it doesn't have a million views yet?

this mall interaction was earthmix not jimwen

There's no one else for me but jimwen

Wen just said - you're moving in with me, right now - and i respect him for that, he gets things done.

What was that printed out card 😂😂

Gaipa💖

Jim has no tact, how do you say that to someone - hahaha lol ur mom died, do u want to go back to selling raw chicken

I know it's the reality, and while it feels like the world has stopped, it's still spinning, but like... don't bring up his dead mom like that

Is jim trying to get a job?

Who's car did they push like that?

Heart i would die for you but i will not watch you chop food, i'm sorry

Pls let them go

Omgomgomgomg 🥺🥺🥺

Ew, flirting in public like that

Li ming's got some serious moves

Heart's so shy 🥺🥺🥺

Jim finally got his boba

Guncle and gephew bonding time❣️

Not chicken elder and his young lover taking a picture with his car, please, that's elderly behavior

Don't take it wen i swear to god

Gaipa and Alan 💖❣️💖❣️💖❣️💖

I truly have been treated well to see both of them in the same frame

Bitch he's flirting

He did not ask for his phone number for job purposes, he is so flirting this makes me sick

So sick and twisted to make me feel this way

So he now owns a food truck

I hate the dishes clattering, it physically hurts my ears

Everything at li min's mother's house was sick and twisted i have feelings about it

Alan's coming to gaipa, love to see it

You two know each other? - gaipa asking very cursed questions

Chicken rice with no blood cube? W-what's a blood cube? 😨

No offal - offal being organs. Waste not want not

I also don't want to make it seem like i'm disrespecting traditional food, but i do have extreme food aversion so all i eat is basically unseasoned chicken and pasta (which sounds worse that anything ever, i know that) so seeing anything else at all just isn't it and organs and blood? I'm sorry, but i cannot

Wen signing 🥺

Not wen petting jim's stomach like there's mpreg involved

Wen declined the promotion, thank god

Ok i need a special episode to see how everyone's doing like a year in

I'm so 🥺🥺🥺💔❤️‍🩹

Thoughts and opinions :

A truly wonderful slice of life show

lovable characters (including all my jim slander) that are flawed and make mistakes and try their best

Just so so so so good

i believe this is truly the best series gmmtv has put out (idk about any straight media bc i so not consume straight content as it is my belief that straight people should not be allowed)

Can you believe earthmix were in their divorce era while filming? Because i truly cannot.

[spadesofgrass]

The Prodigal Son ~ Crimes of Passion

Premise: Simon Milena hates being gracious for this is like a car crash he can't quite look away from.

Wc: 1.3k; just some general cussing.

A/n: This was supposed to be a part of Traitor, Traitor, Coward. This was a "scrapped" storyline before I went thru my drafts again and thought this could be a good oneshot lmao u can find this & other short stories in the ao3 link ^^ okbye hope u enjoy!

~ ~ ~

The first thing everyone seemed upset about was the fact the will was written in English.

It was Simon Milena’s first time on the job and it seemed he was too keen on softening the blow. After expressing their acute outrages over their patriarch, the children scuffled back to take their places in the reading room.

“This isn’t very legally binding. It appears as though your father was never too keen on having it printed.” Simon resumed, “Take it as his last words, perhaps. Undated and littered with dated information. Either way, it was said that the crown would go to Trystan—”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Trystan and Lydea. Party time.

“Yeah, no shit. Line of succession and all.” Emika scoffed.

“No but like - this is on his will, Emi.”

“Yeah, so?”

“That means he would have wanted Trystan to be the fucking king, no matter what the laws of succession said.” Kasper reasoned. “Does it say anything else?”

“However, the word ‘crown’ has not been capitalised. ‘Crown’ with the capitalization would refer to the throne and — just ‘crown’ would mean the actual — um, artefact, by this statement. I would suspect these are more of a collection of thoughts, meant for the abstract eyes.” Simon enunciated, as clearly as he could. The words ‘not legal’ hung at the tip of his tongue as a last-resort weapon to yield. He was so much more of a father than Maksim. The thought disgusted him.

“But Pa made it quite clear. He certainly isn’t a — a newborn to make such errors.”

“What are you doing, Trystan?” First blood. Simon didn’t get his hands dirty in this. Good.

“I am not claiming anything. You would not expect father to make such errors. He’s, perhaps written, thousands of documents by hand. This is a very objective— perspective.”

Trystan’s name was written in loopy, elegant handwriting, a few words away from the ‘crown’. It was hard to tell, surely. But what are the siblings thinking? Power moves? He was just an enforcer of their father’s will. An.

“Cursive handwriting is difficult to decipher anyway. Besides, the crown in itself is — it belongs to me. Father was one of the witnesses in my coronation. Separating the crown from its bearer is essentially fictitious. Father may have meant many things, but you made your choice. Abstract eyes and all.”

“What else is there?” Marguerite piped up.

“Oh just - a few specifics, distribution of private assets, sculptures, pottery. Of course, a majority will go to the crowned heir as per the Charter. He has made it certain all of you walk away happy. He quite likes hyacinths, the flower.”

“But if the crown legally counts as an artefact-”

“Already planning to sell it, dear brother?” Astrid laughed. “Those Hollywood freaks and their clown circus you run will certainly appreciate it.”

“It isn’t his.”

“But it’s on a will.”

“Well, I am the executor of his wishes, so matters of who gets the hyacinths and who gets the pottery concerns me. On a grander scale of things, it should not hold much relevance to the reigning monarch.” Relevance. Yes. Lydea seemed pleased. A little uneasy. What was Trystan thinking? For a second, he had his father’s eyes in him. Souvenirs. Wouldn’t want to upset the prodigal son. A change of heart, maybe? Then again, who’s ever heard of an atheist turning to God?

“Right, so this is all pottery and pretty stuff?”

“I suppose that requires a bit of digging into the law and what to do if the personal wishes of a dead monarch goes against it, but — I would advise you to take it for what it is.”

“Dad sure loves writing — fucking stories.” Kaspar huffed. “What about Bas’s share? Or Vasili’s? Or have they taken secret lovers in some— British village and it goes to them now?”

“And are you sure there is no date to this? He could have written this well after the — yeah, um—” Emika shot a look towards Trystan. “When Trystan went all guillotine on us.”

“We estimate it could be a few years old at least. Hard to tell, but maybe 2016? A little after Trystan’s exile. It was preserved in good condition. In a folder next to his rings. We will have someone look into it, but my guess is — maybe during that time period.”

“Can we hurry it up? I would like it if this was sorted today. Trystan has a flight to catch and I have to drive up to the airport. Security sweep and all. You understand.” 

“Perhaps it is best if you two come with me.”

Simon led Lydea and Trystan down the long hallway and into a parlour. Best to keep them separated away from the rest of the family before they strangle each other. He made a quick few phone calls in succession, calling upon the country’s best law interpreters. What did it mean? The crown went to Lydea, but the actual crown went to his eldest son? Mercy gave the prodigal son a second chance, the daughter gets the leftovers from the bacchanalia. Simon didn’t feel too good about being called back again. The odds were slim.

Contempt? He couldn’t read the siblings’ faces well. Trystan had pawned off the load from their back. Lydea was still eating dog food. It seemed unfair to her, but Maksim loved playing favourites. It was like a fun little board game he played with a shot of fine liquor.

At least there’s other things to play with. Simon was almost glad the rest others were on the table. Hope Trystan likes gardening. Hope Lydea likes her share of the artwork. Keep people happy, what the fuck was he supposed to be? Marble houses, that should be enough. The crown, though.

It didn’t take no less than five minutes for Simon’s distress signal recipients to come over.

“So it’s all Pa’s creative writing at play?” Lydea called bull. “To what degree is it a thing you need to do?”

“As far as we can sink it in.”

“Do you care?” Lydea turned to Trystan.

“Well given the crown is supposed to go to me, I do.”

Fuck. Simon's not their father. Good. Trystan cares? Should it even be his problem? Regret? No. It didn't matter.

“Take it to your cult orgies, I’m sure people would love that.”

“Oh I would rather attend a fuck-festival than have it sit here, gather dust in a wasteland--” Trystan paused, letting the words hang in the air, “-- of a shelf, obviously. They’re a package deal, yes, but exceptions..? What are we feeling? A divorce situation? I keep it for six months, she gets the other half for weddings and funerals and cutting ribbons?”

“The nature of this is a little tricky. Clearly your father meant for the actual crown to go to you. Not the monarchy. Historically, the crown was never counted as a part of the jewels; rather a concept in itself. Something with life, very Kafkaesque. The crown and the Crown Jewels. An amendment was made in 1986 to preserve the sanctity of the artefact. Colloquialism, lost in translation, lots of things to blame for -- the oversight. Your father is clearly purebred in his thinking.” Anna spoke.

“Separate the art from the artist, the shit from Father?”

“Unfortunately it is difficult to interpret the nature of this possession. You see, it simply says it must go to him.”

“Oh Persephone.” Trystan drawled. “The Summer Palace will be so welcoming. You would have nothing to worry about.”

“This isn’t a I Love NYC t-shirt.”

“I think this is exactly like a I Love NYC shirt.”

“Again, not quite. Trystan, you have a vault here at home. The crown will be here for safekeeping. It will go to you, as a part of your properties. Take it as an estate. You can’t take and plant it somewhere.”

“So what -- er - okay--” Lydea swallowed, composing herself, “What do I wear?”

“The Crown is just customary. I’m sure you two can come to a settlement regarding that.” Simon added nervously, testing the waters. “Besides, it is entirely customary. You wear it, not the other way around. Your father himself wore a dupe. Easy to carry around, he used to say.”

“Okay, that was underwhelming.” Trystan stood up. “Hope you can take care of this. I’ll have a look at it before I go.”

“Very well.” Simon stood up. “Beautiful day for a cup of coffee, right?”

“Very happy.”

___

A/n: a while ago, I had no idea how to even carry it to the finish line and now finally FINALLY after like 87 years, finished this godforsaken story.

& yes this is eerily similar to that sideplot in Succession with the whole will lmao because it is inspired by that scene. I watched a whole bunch of it to like, get a good grip on how dynastic families exist. I ended up trying to emulate the same kind of like plot to see how it goes, so.. don't come at me, this was a While ago lol

I don't know if i want to have a taglist for drabbles & short stories like these but if you want to be a part of it, hmu!! tysm for reading!