#if time squad has 0 fans then i am dead

[cherrytastiq]

fucked up, man

[hohoz]

The ones that suffer the most

I wanted to talk about this for a long time.

I’m a Resident evil addicted, I finished almost every RE game released and I must say that Capcom made some poor choices regarding Jill and Chris, they are EASILY the most mistreated characters in RE Franchise. 

But let’s explain why is that: 

Jill and Chris are survivors, they had to survive in a mansion with a lot of puzzles and zombies, while looking for items that could help them to progress and find a way to reach Brad. 

When they arrive at STARS Office, they are revolted that Umbrella did all that under their noses and innocents were dying because of that and they explained EVERYTHING in a report - but Irons made that go away. 

In the ORIGINAL RE3 we had this special file (Jill’s Diary) 

August 7th Two weeks have passed since that day. My wounds have been healed, but I just can't forget it. For most people, it's history now. But for me, whenever I close my eyes, it all comes back clearly. Zombies eating people's flesh and the screams of my teammates dying. No, the wounds in my heart are not healed yet...

August 13th Chris has been causing a lot of trouble recently. What's with him? He seldom talks to the other police members and is constantly irritated. The other day, he punched Elran of the Boy's Crime department just for accidentally splashing Chris's face with coffee. I immediately stopped Chris, but when he saw me he just gave me a wink and walked away. I wonder what happened to him...

August 15th Midnight. Chris, who has been on a leave of absence for a "vacation," called me so I visited his apartment. As soon as I walked into his room, he showed me a couple of pieces of paper. They were part of a virus research report entitled as simply as "G". Then Chris told me that, "The nightmare still continues." He went on to say that, "It's not over yet." Ever since that day, he has been fighting all by himself without rest, without even telling me.

August 24th Chris left the town today to go to Europe. Barry told me that he would send his family to Canada and then he would follow Chris. I decided to remain in Raccoon City for a while because I know that the research facility in this city will be very important to this entire case. In a month or so, I'll be joining with them somewhere in Europe. That's when my real battle begins...

For some weird reason this file isn’t available in RE3 Remake. 

But ok, here we see that Chris was doing some investigation - in the RE2RMK  you could see this letter that Chris left in a way that normal people wouldn't understand - the only thing that Claire says is that “doesnt look like him” but how normies would understand what Chris is like is he is not well represented in media ??????????????????

And Jill had all the detective work in her wall. 

So far so good - we understand the basics about them - they are Special police force, the elite, they had a traumatic experience and they survived to tell the story. 

Some problems until now:

Jill had a MAJOR personality change in RE3 RMK- I honestly like most of that, she is a badass in the originals and she is a badass in the rmk but I still dislike the fact that she swears all the time (specially because in RE1, RE Rev, RE5 she doesn't do that) 

We can tell a lot about her personality just looking at her room, but I still miss some stuff (I had expectations - so this is not a real problem. but still) like a Vinyl player (since she is probably into classical music), some letters from her father so new players can understand her origin and why is she so good in lockpicking and more about her dog (she had a pic in the original that could’ve been her boyfriend but it was replaced by a dog in RE2 rmk but in RE3 Rmk there in no dog) 

Okay - after you finish the game the only thing we see is this: 

In my opinion this is Chris since he is always associated with Green colors while Jill is associated with blue. 

So my speculation here is that she found him while in the original we had this: 

This is not a major chance but still is important (lore of course - duh) but the problem here is that while Jill is looking for him - Code Veronica is happening. 

So I can only assume two things, they did not show him because they DON’T HAVE A FACE FOR HIM or I am wrong and that is Jill, but if that is Jill so why there is no decent epilogue like the original ? 

Okay, now we are arriving in the real trouble area

I will do RE5 first and the Wii and Rev1 (even tho those two comes first in the lore) 

RESIDENT EVIL 5 

So before the game was release we had some propaganda, including this: 

So have in mind that Jill was dead, I thought that she died and RE5 would explain that shit. 

But in the beginning we see that Chris is looking for her and have in mind that Chris HAD A MAJOR CHANCE IN HIS APPEARANCE, and I’m not talking about his muscles. 

I will not address Chris in CV since he was good in that game but I the team that made CV also made the original, it had CONSISTENCE. 

Here we have Chris, he’s THE classical american soldier protagonist from Hollywood in the 80′s/90′s and he had some omage to TOPGUN

He also shares some traits with his sister

A major trait here is that HE HAS BLUE EYES, typical good looking soldier from US. 

and now let’s have a look at Chris in RE5...

Yeah... I still hate this face even tho I love his Character in this game, this ugly a** monkey looking mf and he had a lot of steroids

So we have some lore to him in RE5, Jill and Chris went to a mansion looking for Spencer (one of the fathers of Umbrella and the one that was behind project Wesker, he wanted to do this Virus so he could live forever, so RE has a good lore, it’s not just about zombies) but when they found him, he was dead and Wesker was by his side, in a fight Jill sacrificed herself to save Chris’s life. 

Chris started doing mission after mission because her body was never found, and he made a name for himself, he became a ‘legend’ inside BSAA and you can see that in the beginning of RE5.

The reason behind the muscles was probably to fight Wesker mano to mano but still is not well made, it really felt weird playing for the first time. 

So now we have a problem here, there is thing that you use in a narrative that is to make someone strong af powerless, and they did that to Jill. (a good example of this is in TWD- Ricky is a fucking legend and Negan made him powerless in the face of a event) 

Jill was used in a Boss fight and that is it... She is not in the game as a character, she is being manipulated and her whole design was changed, she looks like Nina from Tekken. WTF. - BTW, the fact that Wesker had mind control over her created 1000 fics of sex 

 So that is it, my main problem here isnt Jill itself, but it’s the fact that they used her character as a boss even tho she is the heroine, she never appears in RE lore again until some guy inside Capcom said “Well people are asking about Jill so let’s place a file in Rev2 saying that she is in rehab” 

The only time that she appears again is in a 3DS NINTENDO ONLY game, it felt that Capcom simply don’t care about her character. 

By the way Revelations 1 is a great game and was adaptable some years later for PC and consoles

But you think that this is bad, wait until we arrive at RESIDENT EVIL 6 

When I learned that Jill was not in RE6 I was mad... But after I played that game I said “thank you God” that game was bad, transformers kind of bad, it had bad writing, the lore was all over the place and Chris was the one that suffered the most in this game. 

He was responsible for the death of an entire squad, suffered amnesia and people still wanted him in the command 

THEY MADE HIM AN ALCOHOLIC 

The golden boy of BSAA reduced to THIS. 

By the way, the director said that HE WANTED TO KILL CHRIS IN THIS GAME to SUBVERT EXPECTATIONS - so if you liked Piers now that he died only because of that. 

So now let’s analyse what we know: 

The first 2 main characters are not well represented in media until RE6, they don’t know how to re introduce Jill in the games and Chris was reduced to a normal guy at a Russian bar;

But it gets worse... 

Capcom LOVE Leon, we know that. he is always the hero, he is the protagonist in almost every movie and he is always the cool guy so when he get’s a new model, he looks like this:

But When Chris get’s a new face he look like this: 

WHO DAFUQ ARE U, no offense to the model but he has NEGATIVE JAW LINE.

And still he doesn't look like Claire’s brother, there is no blue/green eyes and he looks younger that he was in 6 (and 6 still uses that ugly character model) 

But let’s go in the lore- we HAVE 0 info on Jill in RE6 / RE7 and no sight of her in RE8 

And speaking of which, they tried to make Chris the bad guy in the trailer so when we play we see “Ohhhh he was not the bad guy, that happened and that is why he did that” 

But still... 

If they are going to do that to his character don’t use this character, shit ! Do something with that Wesker’s son that made 0 sense in RE6 but leave Chris out of this - it really feels that they simply don’t know how to treat him right

And you may think that I may be complaining a lot because of his appearance

But this is him in RE8  

(to me this is some random dude from Russia) 

And this is him in RE:Verse (that is going to be release TOGETHER) 

So this tells me that they have 0 clue of how to handle his looks

Jill got RE3Rmk but it felt like a cheap game compared to RE2Rmk where the original RE3 was SO MUCH BETTER

And this is bad because there are so many new fans joining the fandom only to see 2 great characters suffering from poor director’s choices. 

I’m sorry about this rant, if you like Chris face and looks its okay, really, but dont tell me that Chris from 5/6/8 is the same from 1/CV and if you think im wrong about Jill its fine, but she is an amazing character that could have so much more impact in RE universe (I mean, she never even appeared in a RE movie - animations) 

But it’s sad to see so many characters that receive good representation in media and good games/lore while Jill get’s almost none and Chris is handled like random face guy. 

I was going to talk a little bit more about Rev 1 and RE Umbrella Chronicles but there is no need since Im mad right now and it seems that Capcom has 0 interest in making Code Veronica and Umbrella’s fall after that since their fav boy Leon need a rmk in RE4 even tho RE4 is not that old. 

Bonus:

Fun fact: Chris served in the Air force, so yeah, to me even Tom Cruise looks more like Chris than Chris from the games

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole's Rambling: The Avengers Problem (for PS4)

Let's start with the usual chanting: ❗this is my opinion, it's biased as hell (since I grew up with Marvel comic books and movies) and you don't have to agree❗

I was wondering why Avengers game gets so hated... So I took a look and I played it myself. Let’s have a look.

SPOILERS AHEAD

First off: the game isn't in any way horribly bad. It's just a button smasher with a story that has its good and bad beats. It's not memorable at all, but it could've gone way more downhill in my opinion.

At the start of the game, you meet the mighty Avengers through child fan's eyes - it's pure fanservice and let's be honest, it's dope. It was sweet, but pretty dragged, to be honest. I really didn't need to play as all five Avengers (HAWKEYE IS MISSING, AGAIN) in the first hour of the game, but sure, why not?

For the most part, you see the squad through Kamala Khan's eyes. For those who might have not a clue who the hell Kamala is; I am not wondering about why you don't know who the hell she is. She's a Marvel heroine who outed in 2013 and who will have her own spinoff on Disney+.

And again, Ms Marvel is fine, but not memorable at all. I've never, until this day, met anyone who would say that 'Ms Marvel is my favourite superhero'. I was halfway through the game before I even realized it's Ms Marvel - AFTER SHE PULLED HER DAMN COSTUME OUT. That can be due to my utter ignorance or because I heard of her so little that I can count it on my fingers. In all honesty, I loved Kamala as the story progressed, the gal's not bad at all - but as the whole game, she had good and bad beats. There were times where I wished to play as Iron Man and the game forced me to play as her... Whatever.

Let's look at the three problems I have with this game and three positives I found in the game:

0. (Technically zero since it's a personal problem of mine) The soundtrack and the voice actors:

By any means, I am not trying to say they should hire RDJ for the role of Iron Man and Mark Ruffalo for the role of Banner... But it was so hard to distinguish the voice of Nolan North (For example: Nathan Drake x Iron Man) and Troy Baker (Samuel Drake x Bruce Banner). For me, as for a PS4 gamer, it's annoying to hear the same voices again and again in every game I am genuinely excited about (Idk how Xbox players are familiar with them). Of course, there's even Laura Bailey as the Black Widow; I feel like these are the three only people who do voice acting for games these days and sure, I should've seen that coming.

Side note: Nolan North is not a good fit for Iron Man in the slightest in my opinion, but if you like his Iron Man, that's cool as well!

The soundtrack... M A N, the soundtrack. When I heard Marvel gave a green light to the Avengers game, I expected to hear at least the iconic Alan Silvestri's 'The Avengers'. Problem with this is simple: Marvel had spoiled its consumers with good and memorable soundtracks (don't you tell me you don't remember as they all gathered for the first time). Since it was Marvel itself who gave the green light for this project, which was supposed to be based loosely on the movies' and comic book success, I hoped to get all of it.

It's not Iron Man when AC/DC song isn't playing in the background as he flies through a canyon for his life. I mean, Iron Maiden are fine; but come on. COME ON. It's not the same. It's not the Avengers (WITHOUT HAWKEYE) without their significant theme.

1. IT. BUGS. ALL. THE. TIME and the combat is incredibly repetitive:

When I was little, I was a rage gamer. I could barely play Crash Bandicoot or Rayman without losing my cool. Since then, I grew up, skilled and etc. I try not to rage when playing games since it's simply not worth it.

But when you're replaying a boring mission for the tenth part and you're almost over and SUDDENLY, the game bugs out and you lose control over the character (it starts running in circles, etc.) it sucks shit. And don't let me start on the minor bugs. Like when you don't cross the platform by one pixel and the game doesn't let you make combos when you're in the air and bug into a tree when you bug into a wall, a rock, fucking nothing... Bruh. It was released in August, shouldn't these bugs be fixed by now? The game is fucking broken, hoes. It barely feels like a game ready to launch at times.

When you're so lucky that you don't bug out in the middle of doing something, the combat... It isn't bad. It's not terrible, but the Avengers deserved something better. It didn't deserve mediocre combat that repeats itself in every level. Once you find yourself good combo, you're done for. You can use it to finish the game if you will.

2. There's too many missions, too much information and too much things player has to understand if he wants to play the game properly:

Okay, this might seem to be a little confusing; I didn't understand the game system at all when I first ran it on my PS4. There's story missions, HARM training sessions, daily missions for particular heroes, faction missions (SHIELD, Pym, Stark, etc.) and character-side-story missions, and a lot more.

Trust me, it doesn't sound that hard, but once you open the map menu for yourself... Oh boy, that's a different story. And if it only was the map menu. The inventory and such aren't too collected all together either. Before you can safely tell what is what, it will take you at least a whole afternoon. Also, the fact that game just spills it on you just like that, one thing after another, it doesn't help the overall feel.

On top of that, there are MULTIPLE currencies in the game; some even involve microtransaction. It mostly is involving the customization of the Avengers, so it's not THAT big of a deal; you can get one currency by collecting boxes and stuff, but it takes ages before you can buy one single thingy.

Also, if you would like to get stuff (very useful stuff) from factions (SHIELD and Pym mainly), you have to do in-factions daily quests, which usually require to do a certain amount of things as a particular hero (you can do some quests with Ms Marvel only, some with Black Widow, it usually involves the damage dealt while playing as a character etc.). And if you forget to fetch these minies? Well, no faction points for you, bucko.

The system feels overall too complicated in the begging and even after finishing the game, I am not certain by some.

3. The gameplay of the one and only... Natasha Romanov, and the entirety of Steve Rogers:

Right off the bat: IT. SUCKS. SHIT.

This was your shot in opening our mouths and showing why Black Widow BELONGS to the Avengers in the first place. Like, sure, storywise you proved the point, but gameplaywise... That's a different story.

Out of the bunch, Natasha feels the slowest, most clumsy and overall not too pleasant to play as. Mainly is because her attacks do... Nothing. The gun reloading is basically constant when I have to put it simply and it takes about 3-5 seconds for her to even reload; which can be a matter of life and death inside the game. Sure, she can make herself invisible; but that's like... It. It's not that it would be suffering when you are forced to play as Nat... But not a pleasant experience either.

On the other hand, maybe it's just me. I have friends who told me the same about her gameplay, but maybe there's someone who enjoys the Black Widow. It's my personal with the entirety of the gameplay.

Steve, on the other hand, isn't hard to play as. It's just fucking boring. At the start of the game, I couldn't wait to play as Steve's character. He seemed to be awesome - Jesus fuck, how could I be so wrong? As I said, he's incredibly boring and dry, his skills would do the same amount of work if they even weren't there. I think that Rogers is there just for the shock value (as a value that doesn't even work in the slightest) and nothing more.

As you learn to do the tricks and combos with them, it gets slightly better and skill tree and equipment upgrades can help almost unnoticeable... But really, Steve and Natasha are the absolute worst.

Now the reasons why the game convinced me it isn't a hot mess as I initially thought:

1. The characters, dynamics, chemistry and the overall story:

Sure, it is mainly a basic plotline, a cookie-cutter one, full of cliché - Avengers have to regroup after a traumatic event and you're the one who has to find them and bring them together.

Yet it is quite interesting; the game leads you to believe that Steve Rogers is dead after an event called the 'A-Day' (which you won't believe even if the game does the hardest to make you to, constantly remaining you that 'Oh boy, Cap died, did you know that?') and the Avengers had left to exile because they were considered as big bad for the people and the country. They have their emotional baggage and the banter between Banner and Stark (though it ends too soon), is just the thing that makes them human and relatable.

Even the villains are quite compelling; not like ultra super convincing, but the game can turn around when you least expect it to; which is definitely a huge plus.

The characters were done GOOD. The dialogues are full of personality and jokes you'd expect from each one of them; Banner is a wallflower cutie, Tony fishes for compliments all the time, Natasha is the big independent woman she always was and Thor? CHEF'S KISS, I swear. It hits the Shakespearean vibe perfectly and at the same time, he still is charming and quite funny to hang around.

Every time you can listen to a chit-chat between two characters, it is a great pleasure for you as a Marvel fan. Also, I need to say that regardless of my personal issue with the dub (regarding Tony and Bruce; since they're the people you spend most of your time with), the dialogues for these two characters are on point without a doubt. And I kinda grew fond of the in-game Bruce Banner throughout the course of the game, to be honest.

There are references, jokes, inside jokes, one-liners... The dialogue was done amazingly and that's a huge   T H A N K   Y O U  to the developers.

2. The mind-blowing gameplay of... Tony Stark and Thor and AI, while not being too bright, getting stronger as you do:

In what the Natasha gameplay lacks, these two give you exactly what would you expect and way, way more than you'd ask for. Again, it mainly reflects the personal gameplay preferences of the player; let me tell you why I think these gameplays are, in my opinion, the best.

a) Tony's gadgets and weaponry: The suit itself is bloody brilliant. Once you master the ability to attack and fly at the same time, you have the moments when you can not only feel like Iron Man - but really be Iron Man. It's not even that your gameplay would suddenly become 10x easier; it significantly becomes funnier.

b) Thor's heavy fist-to-fist and Mjolnir preferences: the Mjolnir is bloody brilliant as well. Thor's combat is mainly physically based, but when you want to throw the hammer around like the madman you are, you can suit yourself. You can use the lightning if you please and you can fly if this style of combat suits you. It's all in your hands. Thor can take quite a bit of damage, which is significantly supporting you in this style. If you accidentally drop Mjolnir? Well, call it back and smash them!

Also, regarding the AI... As I said, they're certainly not the brightest sparks in the flame; yet thanks to the power getting bigger as you level up and continue with your story and a huge variety of enemies - from turrets to flying men with flamethrowers. It is just button smasher, but a pleasing one in this regard, I must say.

3. The fanservice to comic book fans, movie fans and loyalty to the property:

As one IGN review once said... "This game makes you feel like Batman." And this game more or less accomplished it as well, but diluted and stripped down. Of course, in no way I can compare this to the masterpiece to the Arkham saga; these games are brilliant.

But there are moments when the game can just drag you inside the story and tell you: "You're Iron Man now, boss. It's in your hands." And it's there. I think the only issue was that the team of devs just took too big of a bite. I wouldn't mind stand-alone titles emerging into one and big Avengers game. That would be fun as well and I would spend my time with it gladly.

To end it: it's a mess, but a good mess you might like. If I was to rate it, would be 5.1/10 Wait until it is on sale, don't rush it. I'm overall disappointed and I most likely will forget I have ever played it.

[skyflyinginaction]

Shinhiro Aragaki Transulations from the Persona 3 Portable Fanbook

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Blog Handle Gaki

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[handwritten title at top] Gaki-san Cafeteria

Profile Name: Shinjiro Aragaki Sex: Male Birthday: 1991/8/11 [This profile uses year/month/day format.] Blood type: A Group: Gekkoukan Academy Upper Class Year 3 Class C (Suspended) Club: Unaffiliated

Ugh...  Me? Having a blog? So lame... Still, everyone's doing it, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Dunno what's with the goofy title. I'm just gonna write whatever I want. So uh, maybe gimme some ideas for posts?

Well... Might as well pass the time while I'm here. Anyway... enjoy?

Favorite Sites: [banners] A Dog's Heart [in snail] Sea slug [to right] Umiushi Family Cooking [white text, bottom right] Official Site

[large white text below blog page] I'm keeping my eyes peeled. Because there's an unimaginable way back...

[main body]

Aragaki, the lone wolf who sticks out like a sore thumb at nightly meetings, is from the same orphanage as Sanada. Three years ago, Aragaki was a member of the Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad, where Sanada awakened the power of Persona within him. However, he wasn't able to fully control his powers. One day, a horrible accident occurred and a number of people were driven mad. Aragaki's Persona went berserk and snatched away the life of an innocent bystander. Despondent, Aragaki dropped out of school and began aimlessly roaming the streets at night. In order to restrain his Persona ability, whenever Aragaki is faced with danger, he takes a suppressant drug - although it has its side effects. Aragaki only returned to the SEES to bear his past deeds. Aragaki gave his life as a final apology to those tied to the past and unable to move forward, saying: "I'm the only one who deserves to rot in hell."

[at bottom:]

Shinjiro Aragaki

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Like A Whole Nother World

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/3 (Thu) 23:18

People are taking my return to the SEES really nicely... What the hell happened. Back when it was just me and Aki and Kirijo, the lounge felt way too big... But with all the new members, it's stuffed. Girls, a little kid, and even a dog... Some real variety in this lineup. Did Aki and Kirijo just get swept up in all that?

And on top of that, they're all treating me real good, even though they barely know me. The 2nd years think I bailed their asses out at the meeting place, when really I was just chasing off some pests. Either way, they're being real nice to me.

I don't bother with school or club activities or whatever, so I can focus all my energy on battle. Hit me up whenever you're heading off to Tartarus. I mean, that's why I came back here in the first place.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/4 (Fri) 01:23 JUN☆P-

Never gonna forget the hero at the meeting spot, dude. You totally bailed us out. With Aragaki-san on our side, we're like a hundred-man army!

2009/9/4 (Fri) 18:51 Yukaricchi♥

So you helped found the club, Aragaki-senpai... Thank you so much for saving us. I think you might actually be a really good guy, deep down...?

2009/9/4 (Fri) 21:00 Aigis

Koromaru-san reports that you often give him treats. It seems you two have become fast friends. Aragaki-san, you are rather reserved.

2009/9/4 (Fri) 23:06 Gaki

Oh come on, are you guys really kicking things off with a bunch of embarrassing comments? Hundred-man army, good guy... Don't just make stuff up about me. Ugh, I dunno how to deal with this.

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Boy's & Girl's Event

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Escapade

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/6 (Sun) 21:55

Under the full moon, a Shadow appeared, as promised. I hang out at Escapade plenty, but this time everyone on the floor was complaining about the power being on the fritz. I guess that was an omen or something that a Shadow was about to appear. Can't let things like that slip you by.

But man, there were some real annoying tagalongs last night. Junpei thought he was gonna party his ass off, the poor guy. That chick from Strega was totally stringing him along, but Junpei still managed to be worried about her. Maybe I'm being too harsh, but pure-hearted guys like him are the ones that fall for that kind of thing.

But still, the chick's Persona was really something... Might be worth worrying about. I think I'll pop my head into the hospital too.

[screenshot:]

Junpei Iori

Hey, uh... I just wanna know one thing... Was that really all just an act?

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/6 (Sun) 22:23 Yukaricchi♥

I mean, Junpei's so unsubtle about things like this... I bet he's going to visit at the hospital again today. Maybe if Junpei keeps talking to her, Chidori-san will start to open her heart... Or maybe I'm naive for even thinking that?  

Boy's & Girl's Event

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Passing the Persona Torch

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/15 (Tue) 22:36

Man, you guys are a real pain. Though I guess I can't be so quick to judge if Koro-chan hangs with you...

⬤ Questions From Persona Users ⬤

1. How did it feel when your Persona awakened?

I don't remember anything from back then...

2. What did you think when you saw your Persona?

Don't really care, that's just how he looks. He's Aki's Persona's brother. I mean, me and Aki go way back. You couldn't separate us even if you tried.

3. What's your favorite attacking strategy?

I'm not a big fan of whittling enemies down bit by bit. Better to give 'em one big hit and knock 'em dead, all in one go.

4. Any Shadows you have trouble with?

I don't got any weak points. I mean, if your Persona is weak, that just means your heart is weak.

5. What do you want to do when we're done fighting?

Hell if I know. I just want to take responsibility for what I've done. I think I'm just about there. After that... Aki, it's your turn.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (1)

2009/9/15 (Wed) 19:47 Aki

So it's my turn... Got it. Shinji, it may very well be because of my influence that the power of Persona was awakened within you...

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Boys & Girl's Event

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What Are You Weirdos, a Cosplay Group?

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/9/16 (Wed) 22:58

Come on... I am not gonna participate in your little cosplay thing. The bus stop was one thing, but this time you　want me to wear a tailcoat? What? Is that a butler costume? Like I'm gonna play some servant role.

Oh, and when we're going off to Tartarus, don't expect me to act like we're going on a picnic, or whatever. When a Shadow pops out, I want to look like a grown-up warrior. We didn't get this far by being stylish.

I mean, if you're fighting to win, then I'll quit whining. Just don't mess around too much. And don't forget that lives are on the line.

COMMENT Comments (4) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/17 (Thu) 19:48 Yukaricchi♥

Please don't call us all "weirdos"! Our leader is the one who's into dressing up. I'm a victim too.

2009/9/17 (Thu) 22:39 JUN☆P-

That's the first time I've seen you hatless, Aragaki-san. ...And your head looks totally normal. So disappointing...

2009/9/17 (Fri) 19:29 Aki

I've never brought this up, but... Junpei, what do YOU look like with your hat off? I mean, even when you went swimming at the beach, you refused to take it off.

2009/9/17 (Fri) 21:46 Gaki

What kind of weird ideas are you having about people's heads... Hey Aki, meet me at the strategy room for a tactical debriefing on stealing Junpei's hat.

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Haven't Seen a Movie In Ages

Category: Posts 2009/9/23 (Wed) 22:26

Man, I haven't been to the movies in ages. It's a lot nicer to go on your own, but... Well, if you're inviting me, you must be kind of a weirdo. I guess I don't mind coming along though, kills some time.

But like, did you pick that movie on purpose? "Woof-Meow Kingdom"... We were surrounded by family, made me weirdly sweaty. And the climactic scene where they got dragged in the river... That was... Well, whatever...

Right, I need to give Koro-chan the special dog food and assorted bones I got on the way home. The leash we use on walks is filthy, so maybe I should get a new one, too... Oh, and I'm going to give him a bath later tonight. Shoot, I forgot to get a massage brush...

Anyway, do you think Koro-chan's good at doggy paddling? Never know when something bad might happen around water...

[screenshot:]

> Somehow, Aragaki's eyes seem red...

COMMENT Comments (3) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/24 (Thu) 10:00 Aigis

Koromaru-san is profoundly moved by your exceptional treatment of him, Aragaki-san.

2009/9/24 (Thu) 19:13 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, you're a real animal lover, aren't you? Nobody who likes animals is a bad person, or so they say. I'll have to cook up something nice for Koro-chan too!

[advertisement:]

Garlic ・　Olive Oil ・ Pepperoncini

Paella

Family Cooking

Airing Weekly, Sunday 7 PM SMATV Network Kismet Publishing

September edition of the textbook now on sale. If not at your local bookstore, go here → to order online.

[button:] I Want It!

[left column]

Boys & Girl's Event Public Post

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Evening Walk

Category: Posts 2009/9/26 (Sat) 23:14

You guys keep going off about how taking a walk at night soothes the soul, and I kinda have to agree. I used to kill time at night by hanging out in back alleys or clubs, but I guess it's not so bad doing something more healthy with my evenings. And this is so weird, but taking a nice walk makes me want to make dinner for Koro-chan.

It's fall and everything's being harvested, which makes it the season for eating. You guys need to remember to eat up and stay healthy. Or else you're gonna end up bedridden, like our leader was. What would you even do if a shadow popped out then? Well, I guess everything's going good on that front, so it's fine for now. Just remember to get a nice square meal in every day.

[screenshot]

Shinjiro Aragaki

You hungry? I'll fix you something when we get home.

Girl's Event Public Post

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The Trick to Cooking

Category: Cooking 2009/9/27 (Sun) 23:47

Fall's the season for eating, but I don't think that fancy kitchen we have is getting any use. The fridge is full of sports drinks and milk, the cupboards are crammed with protein shakes and cup noodles and junk food... It's messed up. Do you people seriously never cook? We didn't even have a good set of utensils, so I brought some in. Yamagishi's the only one who seems excited about cooking, but she doesn't have the basics down yet. Don't get me wrong, enthusiasm's great, but...

Well, if you've heard someone say that cooking is an act of love, it probably came from someone who's mastered their basics. Doesn't matter how much love you pour into your cooking, if you mess up some fundamental part, it's not gonna taste good. A super common mistake beginners make is ignoring what the recipe says and improvising instead. Get your basics down pat, then you can switch things up. Remember, you don't gotta rush it. Doesn't matter what you're doing, taking it one step at a time is key.

COMMENT Comments (2) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/9/28 (Mon) 18:51 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, thank you... You put it pretty bluntly, but you're trying to help, aren't you? I'll start working my way up with simple things like onigiri. If you'd like, feel free to come sample my work?

2009/9/28 (Mon) 19:52 Mitsuru

Aragaki, I'm rather surprised at how good you are at cooking. I wouldn't say you surpass my family's professional chef, but your food was indeed exquisite. Perhaps eating together with everyone isn't so bad, every once in a while.

[right column]

Girl's Event

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Making Things Right

Category: Specialized Extracurricular Execution Squad 2009/10/3 (Sat) 02:45

[screenshot]

Shinjiro Aragaki

...They're in your hands now. I believe in you.

[post body]

So tomorrow's the long-awaited full moon, huh. And you know another huge Shadow's gonna pop out. But I never thought the full moon would fall on tomorrow's date, of all days... I can't bring myself to call it a coincidence.

It's not like I think I won't be coming back, but with what I have in the palm of my hand... Well, I can't tell if it's a coincidence or a cruel prank. And the whole time I sit here agonizing about it, the pocketwatch in my palm keeps on ticking. If I had to name the one thing I can never change, it'd be my past self. Who's bound by their past now? It's not just me... So, the only thing left for me to do is to make things right. Because no matter what I choose, I don't got much time left...

I'm not gonna write anything more here, I promise. You don't have to forgive me for my selfishness. And no matter what happens, don't you dare cry...

COMMENT Comments (5) ・ Trackback (0)

2009/10/7 (Wed) 18:36 Fuu＊ka

Aragaki-senpai, they said you wouldn't wake up... When I first read this post, I didn't get it at all, but... Looking back, I think you knew what you were about to do...

2009/10/7 (Wed) 20:28 Mitsuru

Of course I was aware of the situation between Aragaki and Amada. It was a failing on my part that it came to this. From hereafter, the Kirijo family will dedicate all available resources to his medical care. Perhaps Aragaki's strong spirit will grant us a sliver of hope...

2009/10/8 (Thu) 01:36 JUN☆P-

I know you were ready to give your life in this battle, but... Now that it's actually happened, it hurts like hell... Aragaki-san, please wake up...

2009/10/8 (Thu) 20:38 Aki

When I thought Shinji was all but gone, he whispered, "This is what I wanted." While some may dismiss his way of making things right, I would not count myself among them. Everyone, we need to face forward!

2009/10/9 (Fri) 18:46 Amadaman

I've decided to keep fighting here. Until Aragaki-san returns, I will protect his place.

[bubble at top left]

If You Get Into A Relationship...

Social links with Aragaki don't turn romantic until you max out your S. Link rank with him. But once you do get to max, if you call him one more time, you can have the protagonist confess to him. After a short period of heated questioning, you can enter Aragaki's room. Acting much unlike the Aragaki you've seen so far, he will embrace the protagonist and make an unexpectedly bold move. While it's quite the mushy event, if you do get in a relationship, he'll actually be quite assertive. By the way, the protagonist confesses to him in the dorm lounge. If you think about it, Yukari and Junpei and all the other members would be right next to them the whole time...

[screenshot:]

Shinjiro Aragaki

You're uh... not married, so don't get this wrong, but...

[bubbles at top right]

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thur Fri Sat Break

[center of circle:] Shinjiro Aragaki

[by tarot card:] Moon

[spiky bubble at bottom:] Shinjiro Aragaki

[to left of portrait, beneath "Persona capable to summon once Moon's commu rank reaches the max:]

Sandalphon, the Angel That Conveys Prayers

[tag labeled 27]

From the Iwatodoi Dormitory Lounge ......Edition 27

[junpei:] Man, Aragaki-san's cooking is the best. [koro:] Woof!! [aegis:] Koromaru-san says he enjoys it too. [aragaki:] H, hey. You guys suck at eating balanced meals. Try to take care of yourselves. [mitsuru:] I agree completely. Akihiko could stand to eat something aside from gyudon. [Rice with beef and vegetables.] [sanada:] I, I eat more than just gyudon! I get plenty of protein shakes in too!

[next column] [mitsuru:] Ugh... You're giving me a headache. [junpei:] Gyudon and protein shakes and nothing else... That's uh, really... [aragaki:] Don't act like you're any different. You basically live off cup ramen. Balance your diet. [junpei:] Uh, well... I uh, how do I put this, just like, think it's good... [fuuka:] Okay, I'll keep balance in mind and cook something up! [aragaki] How about you focus on learning how to cook, first. ...Although, you can go ahead and start practicing.

[vertical line of text in center:]

Brotherly Lines

[column on right]

S. Link Rank 3 Female Protagonist

Look at the balance in these meals... Do you guys live off this...?

S. Link Rank 4 Female Protagonist

...You're not going to leave those vegetables on your plate, are you?

S. Link Rank 7 Female Protagonist

Get some good sleep. ...'Night.

S. Link Rank 9 Female Protagonist

Feels like I got a place to come home to.

S. Link MAX Female Protagonist

Now that you're here, I don't have a care in the world...

[screenshot to left:] Shinjiro Aragaki

Does everyone here eat like crap...?

[block labeled Girl's Side] Like An Older Brother

Shinjiro Aragaki always makes sure his fellow club members make it home safe. While he comes off as rather blunt, he's actually deeply worried about everyone's unhealthy eating habits. Following the protagonist's advice, he throws a party. While putting everything together for the party, he teaches Fuuka (who is hopeless at cooking) how to cook. Drawn by the smell, their dormmates gather, and the lounge springs to life. While everyone enjoys the meal, Aragaki steps out for a bit, and asks the protagonist for a private chat. Then, gazing at the protagonist with a gentle smile, he says, "I'm leaving Sanada and everyone else in your hands."

[screenshot to right:]

Aegis

Koromaru-san is distraught.

[caption below screenshot:] Even Koromaru-san can tell how bad Fuuka's cooking is. But with Aragaki teaching her, she'll be able to make delicious food someday.

TRANSULATIONS NOT MINE THEY ALL BELONG TO THE LOVELY (https://kasael.tumblr.com) ALL CREDIT OF THIS ENTIRE TRANSULATION BELONGS TO THEM NOT ME DON’T REBLOG WITHOUT CREDITING THEM FIRST.

[chococustard]

Hi.. just out of curiosity, do you have favorite fanfic or fic rec for bnha?

first time putting this together my chrome closed and killed all of it=‘D

they’re mostly one shots since on going ones, cause of my shitty memory i can’t remember most of them otl

they’re under the cut and separated into categories//shot sorry i can’t word well;;; enjoy//shot

—- GENERAL (mostly)/ OTHERS —–

you’re a good man midoriya hizashi - deku’s dad is a lawyer and a nerd

no happy endings, just beginnings - eri getting used to civilian live and it’s the cutest fucking thing

nya means i love you in cat - IICHAKO DATE IICHAKO DATE IICHAKO DATE

sleepless - todo sleeps everywhere. that’s it

see me and you’ll know you’re sleeping - baku and todo talks at 3 am

iida tenya is best mom - that’s also it

send endeavor to the shadow realm - a whole series of roasting flaming cheeto man. also deku’s a fucking savage god bless

perfect timing  -  present mic and aizawa visits tensei at the hospital ft fuyusei. part of the author’s 12 days of christmas set, all of it is cute

a riddle to guess if you can - all might has a few words for the new number one hero

heroes’ day off - domestic shit ft tododeku, kiribaku, momojirou and tsuocha

bakugou is human - ft kiribaku

fallen heroes - villain!class 1A and others

looking glass - kidnapped and forced to join the villains as a child, deku got caught by the heroes during the usj attack, and joins their side instead

little, and broken, but still good - momo protection squad

pressure points - todoroki shoto finally became a child at 15

—- TODODEKU —-

lazy day - soft

(all I knew this morning when I woke is) green eyes and freckles and your smile - sleepy. kisses.

count your blessings, not your flaws - deku’s used to getting asked out by people as a joke. the one time it’s not, he laughed

sickeningly sweet - omegaverse au where todo is possesive and deku’s a little shit and i love him?? also  like, no relation, here ojiro’s the dominant alpha of the class and he’s just. so done. i love it

heroes, love and soulmates - what you write on your skin appear on your soulmate’s, also. soft. so soft.

conventional taste - deku won an essay contest and took todo to hero con. as cute as the tododeku stuff was i also like it just as a general fic, like, the con stuff in there i just can’t help but “i feel u”//shot and the uh, the other parts also hits to the heart

cold hands, warm heart - todo likes deku’s hands

reunion - apparently middle school reunions are a thing ft baku being not shit

sweater weather - this. just. this whole thing. i have diabetes from this

get me waken up, shaken up, tangled up - omegaverse au where todo and deku just date and it’s cute

bonded - omegaverse au drame™ also like the only omegaverse fic with all my ship as far as i know thank u op

your biggest fan - ….they buy each other’s merch- im dying, deceased

the five times shouto found his hand in izuku’s hair and the one time it happened in front of bakugou - deku’s hair floof appreciation fic

I’m yours if you’ll have me - omegaverse au where deku tries to get todo to just get a fucking clue ft bakushima 

i’ve tried every hobby, and you’re all that’s left - everyone got todo to try and find a hobby

all your little things - deku wants todo to love himself

Marry The Mole - flaming cheeto man tried to bribe his son’s bf to break up with him

petal steps - hades/persephone au

—- KIRIBAKU —- 

a whole series where kiri and baku are THAT couple

a many splendored things - anniversary fluff

anniversary - ^another one

little words - soulmate au where you’re born with the first words your soulmate directs at you

free at last - omegaverse au where kiri’s parents are assholes

angel’s kiss - FRECKLE. KISSES.

beating in time - vampire!au where some hunter thought baku’s a vampire, while it’s actually kiri, tho baku doesn’t know that either

teach me how to surf and other stuff - surfer au whee as a pro baku pretends to suck so he can get close to the cute surfing teacher

flowers speak louder than words - baku has hanahaki

crystal tears - kiri cries crystals, and he and baku learns how to do relationship

all the make up that MAC can make - kiri tries make up

nothing ever goes wrong at the mall - baku and kiri meets baku’s old middle school classmates

13 things best bros do together (+1 thing they don’t) - oblivious idiot

Next to You - sOFT

Pining and Pinning - quirkless au where guitarist baku has it bad

A Consequence of Constant Explosions - deaf baku and supportive bf kiri

white walls - kiri’s injured, baku’s worried

hold my hand until I feel whole again - kiribaku ft post raid ptsd

tuesday i was through with hoping - ^another one

after the fact - ^^again, another one

sunshine flutters - ^^^^another fucking one but it’s from baku’s perspective

something like an earthquake - another post raid hospital fic

tender loving care - another one this time ft momo

hoodies - omegaverse where baku gets possessive 

a boy & his dragon - fantasy au where kiri and baku date

Soft - omegaverse au where kiri tells baku they’re gonna have a kid

—- BAKU AND DEKU FRIENDSHIP FOCUS —-

baby steps - bakugou’s journey to be a decent human being ft. eri kiri and momo

romantic displays of a barbarian - baku openly showing his love for his wonderful bf

make a spark, break the dark - fantasy!baku went to the canon verse

there’s a space here shaped like you - ^another one

to win back your heart which was mine - ^another one but fantasy!kiri is fucking dead

bakugou’s (wikihow) guide to making friends - baku attempts to amend his friendship with deku ft kiribaku

will I ever be more than I’ve always been?  - baku trying to apologize for his shitty past. part of a series of future fic, they’re also great

—- ANGST CAUSE FUCK FEELINGS —-

white lily - midoriya izuku hates himself

scorpions and chains - hit by a quirk deku’s put to sleep, everyone else ended up seeing the past he never says

out of reach - @garbageisland-0​ ‘s nomu!deku au. it hurts 

for the future - during the sludge villain attack, baku watches deku dies right in front of his eyes, and he mourns

the stars welcome them home - on weekends students go home for the weekend, except satou, hagakure, baku, and todo

the sadness behind their eyes - as a teacher fuyumi wants none of her students to end up like her brother

this sick, strange darkness (comes creeping on, so haunting every time) - todoroki shouto is dead

so big / so small - sads but it’s todo, bday angst

Escape - the sads now ft kiri

the song of a broken past - kiri copes with his feelings with the violin, quirkless au

hit me up if you want the dirty//shot

[bereft-of-frogs]

Summer Round-up!

The Summer is over! Cool air is coming through my window, I turned off my fan, everything is great, it’s almost September...

Okay, summer’s not over, but, yup I’ll be traveling for two weeks so I won’t be online and it’s probably going to get hot again, but still! Thus ends my summer.

I think I did pretty well with my goals. Marvel Big Bang draft is done, Thorki Big Bang is over the halfway point, I’m up to 23k words in the Endgame AU. I do kind of wish I was further along on that one but I’d really prefer to be satisfied than get it out quickly so I’m trying to chill and take my time.

I was struggling a bit with feeling...productive. Because under traditional capitalist notions of productivity, I technically wasn’t. I made almost 0 money this summer, but I wrote a lot, learned to embroider, traveled over the region seeing my family and friends. I really need to find a job but honestly, I did have a productive summer.

I thought for my last Six (-ish) Sentence Sunday Thursday, I’d do six sentences from all my WIPs and my favorite six sentences from what I published this summer:

(Under the cut)

[I stopped counting sentences pretty much immediately]

WIPs:

alone, amidst the ruins (Endgame AU) (23,638)

“What is it?” Steve asks. “Are you two serious?” Natasha looks between them. “It’s a pager. A beeper?” They just stare back. “You can use it to send short messages. They went out of style a few years ago, some fields still use them but you don’t see them too often.” “This one has been modified.” Thor turns it over in his hands. “I do not recognize this symbol, but the work on the modifications are Kree in origin.”

the dead reign there alone/part I: of the stern agony and shroud (15,211) (Marvel Big Bang)

Loki releases the spell, drops to his hands and knees, panting and coughing. Now you’re going to die again, he thinks dully. The pain in his chest is spiking and it feels like he is being slowly crushed. Like there is a crushing weight sitting on his chest. The feeling is draining from his limbs. He is ice cold, fading, and darkness crowds his vision. Hela’s boots appear in his vision. Blood drips slowly from her wounded side next to them. “You know, it took me a while to figure out what was so strange about you. Luckily I had plenty of time trapped under your spell to think.” She bends down, caressing his head. “You’ve touched death, little monster. It’s inside you now.”

the dead reign there alone/part II: his chamber in the silent halls of death (3,402)

“What did you expect to happen, Loki?” Thor roars at the climax of their largest fight. “What did you expect? You would rule Earth, kill me, what? What did you want?” “You would have perhaps found out, if I had-” Thor slams him back against the wall. Loki laughs, semi-hysterically, in his face. “Do it, go ahead, kill me like you were going to on the cliffside-” Thor drops him. “You drive me mad!” He shouts as Loki slides down the wall. “You’re going to make me insane, I cannot understand the workings of your mind, you…you vile-” “Vile what?” Loki spits back. “Vile witch, vile coward, vile villain, what am I? Vile monster, that’s what I am.” He rises to his feet.

(untitled) (Thorki Big Bang) (9,493)

The innkeeper laughs. “Simple adventurers don’t speak like they were raised in the palace itself. Your clothes and gear are dirty and worn, but well made. They’re not tearing or fraying. You,” The innkeeper nods at Loki. “Carry yourself like you’re used to getting your way.” Loki’s eyebrow twitches. He turns to Thor. “Would you say I often get my way?” “Constantly. It’s infuriating.”

(untitled) (*sigh* for GrandThorki Day because it seems as though I’ve been sucked into the debauchery) (4,000) <<not kidding it’s exactly 4k words right now I’m freaked out too

“You two are just being so good tonight,” The Grandmaster says, praise dripping from his voice. “I don’t even have to remind you what’s at stake, do I?” They had not been to see the camp their people were being held in for two months. They used to go quite frequently, to be punished. Sometimes punishment meant they were whipped or beaten in full view of their captive people; sometimes it meant watching one of their own be slowly executed as a reminder to behave. The last time hadn’t even been their fault. They’d been dragged there and locked in stocks and forced to watch the Valkyrie be flogged for some transgression or another. The Grandmaster had not specified.

[oooooof this one’s going to be real fucking dark yiiikes @ self] [I might ease it back, this is just the first, insanely indulgent draft, I wrote it while I was in A Mood, okay I’m going to stop justifying myself now]

And from what I published to Ao3:

bone and broth (6/7):

“Just stay with me,” Loki says. “Just stay. See? You’ve got what you wanted too.” Loki’s bony hand closes around Thor’s forearm. “It’s what you wanted, all those visits, all those desperate pleas to me. I’ve given up. Here at the edge of death, I cannot bear for you to leave me.”

flickering light and the smell of wine (6/24) - - for the Noncon Exchange, my triumphant return to writing Les Misérables.

Enjolras shrugs the coat over his shoulders and staggers to his feet. “I can stand. I would rather face my death on my feet.”

The officer rolls his eyes. Enjolras feels absurdly stung by the dismissal. “Dramatic. No, you are not for the firing squad. We are to take you to the prefecture.”

Enjolras grimaces. “I would rather-”

“And I would rather go home.”

...and dying leaves on the branch (7/22) - - Alt. Ending to ‘bone and broth’

Thor believes his brother has fallen to sleep, until he speaks in a low voice. “I cannot ask you to forgive me,” Loki says. “I know there is no absolution for me and I can’t…I can’t say that I am sorry. But thank you. For leaning on your antique sentiment to do this for me.” Thor shifts him in his arms, holding him tighter. “It really wasn’t all bad, was it? My life?”

Tears sting in Thor’s eyes. There’s a thick lump in his throat. “No. No, of course not.”

spare me over (8/7)

“You do not wish to celebrate with the others?” He asks.

Steve sighs. “They’re not celebrating, man.”

“You do not have to lie to me.”

Steve winces. “Really, I wouldn’t call it…celebrating.”

“They are relieved. They feel justice have been served, and I understand.” Thor looks at his hands. “Though he did not receive a death sentence upon his return to Asgard and it was not justice that sealed his fate, but me, when I failed to protect him on Svartalfheim.”

...and a knife in the darkness... (8/22)

Thor cuts him off. “Stop! Do you want to know what I’m seeing right now? You’re rambling. You're not making sense. You’re afraid. You’re hurt. This is not the first time this has happened, brother. This is not the first of these…episodes you’ve had, since you fell. You think me a fool, you think me unobservant, but when you were locked away I did watch you. I watched when you railed against me, I tried to follow the threads of your thoughts and often found myself utterly lost. Not because you were spinning webs I was too unintelligent to follow, but because the threads unraveled almost as quickly as you spun them. You are right, brother. You have lost your mind. But that just means that you’re still sick.” Thor gives him an uncertain, watery smile, petting back his hair.

----

Yeah okay, laying it all out like that. Shit. I did a fucking lot. Now just to convince my brain to accept that I did a fucking ton this summer. 

Now I’m off to Europe, with a couple notebooks, several AU ideas I have acquired in the last couple days, and pens that will hopefully survive the journey! See you in September!

[park-lane-blog]

Negativity

“I'll always use the negativity as more motivation to work even harder and become even stronger.” Tim Tebow

So, before I begin, I little something about me. If you’re reading this then we’re probably followers of each other on Twitter. I’m a Twitter veteran of about 10 years or so, but last year I shut down my account. I was surrounded on all corners by negativity, to be fair, mainly around politics and the state of our country. At that time in my life, negativity was the last thing I needed so closing down the account was the natural thing to do. However, what I did miss was the interaction with my fellow spurs fans. So, I opened a new account, set my name as Park Lane (more on that later) and proceeded to follow and interact with the Spurs family, players, ex players etc etc.

My name is Jon Matthews. I’m 38, a father of 3 and have been married to my wonderful wife since 2004.

I’m a relatively mild mannered person. Like everyone, I get irritated by the day to day grind of life but at the same time I try to stay as positive as possible. I manage a branch of a multi national builders merchant and have done for the past 17 years. I live on the South Coast in a sea side town in Dorset.

The reason I chose to go under a pseudonym is simple. I wish to stay as anonymous as possible. That way, most things aren’t taken personally and helps me to blend into the background. However, saying that, I’ve managed to rack up almost 1k followers since I returned to the Twitter format. 

So, Park Lane? Simple. It was always our home growing up. When I say home, I mean our WHL home. I live in the South West, right down on the coast but we were frequent visitors to WHL during the 90′s (and still am of course) and my Dad always preferred the Park Lane end, so that’s why. These days, I’m more fond of the Paxton road end, especially now, looking across at the wonderful 17.5k single seater. Maybe one day I’ll venture across but for now, Paxton upper, 518 is my preferred home. I visit as much as possible. My kids are all Spurs fans. My Son comes to all the games with me and my girls accompany us from time to time.

The reason for my blog?

It’s really easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment. Especially off the back of a frustrating result. Case in point, last night. With our depleted squad, the first leg against a buzzing young side like Ajax was always going to be a tough ask. Even more so without Son and Kane. Lets not be stupid about this, most of our goals have come from them this season so my worry was always about where the goals come from and last night proved that point.

I had numerous heated debates last night on twitter about positivity and against those that used the format to basically abuse the team, manager, club etc due to how this season is ending. But after everyone had calmed down and gone to bed, I found myself lying in bed questioning why I found it necessary to argue, online, with complete strangers. They’re allowed an opinion aren’t they? Even if their opinion differs to mine. Of course they are. 

That’s why I’m starting a blog. I shall attempt to write one after each game. Some will be long winded rants. Some will be quick thoughts. But either way, I aim to write them with a clear head. Maybe after a good nights sleep and with a calmer view on what has passed.

Firstly, my apologies to those who I swore at or insulted last night. I think most if any was in retaliation but either way, we need to stay calm don’t we? 

So onto last nights game. I’ve already alluded to the fact that we were far from full strength. Let’s be clear. The squad isn’t good enough for a full on attack on multiple fronts. Yes, I believe we were wrong to not buy or freshen up the squad over the last two windows. I understand that it’s hard to buy players that maybe told from day one that their playing 2nd fiddle to the likes of Kane, Dele and co, but surely we need to think about depth? When you see certain players that have gone for a small fee or even a loan. Tielemans at Leicester for example. He would of added much needed flair and pace into our tired midfield. The whole Greilish debacle in the summer (holding them to ransom cause they were desperate and then not) plus a few others that now escape me. The fact is, there was business to do and we didn’t, for whatever reason. The game was a tough watch. I made a promise to a mate of mine who travelled with me to the City game, who couldn’t make last nights match, that if we couldn’t go together, then neither would. So instead we met up after work, got some pizza on the go and sat down with the boys and waited for the inevitable. I wont go through the game, we all watched it but my opinion was simple. We took too long to settle, we let Ajax get a foothold and their goal could and maybe should of turned in to 2 or 3. However, we dug in, survived without conceding any more. The second half was a different story. Sissoko made a huge difference in the mf and took complete control. Who’d of thought we’d be relying on him like we have been. I don’t think he’s our player of the season but lets agree to give him most improved! If it wasn’t for the lack of firepower up top, I really think we’d of got something out of the game. Let’s be fair, Ajax defended pretty well. Lucas ran and ran but without doing much. Llorente did all he could. Dele and Erikson, the two we really needed to stand up and be counted really didn’t. Are they tired or are we asking too much. Sanchez looked overwhelmed but I think the rest of the defence did pretty well. It was evident pretty quickly that a back 5 was the wrong tactic. Poch realised this, post goal and we looked a lot tighter. I really do hope that Jan is ok. That looked horrible on the tele. I can’t see him playing Saturday and hope that we go with Toby and Foyth at centre back. Start Davies at LB and push Danny (mom in my opinion) in to a midfield role. Like the 2nd leg, we’ll have Sonny back. Not only will that add much needed pace and a goal threat in the final 3rd, it should add a bit of confidence back into the team. 

We’re at bare bones. That can’t be disputed. We have to make do with what we have now. 

We can blame Levy for a lack of vision or commitment to the squad?

We can blame Poch for his stubbornness. 

We could all probably make a list of reasons but at the end of the day, we don’t run the club. We don’t spend the time with the players. We don’t pick the squad.

So what can we do? We can support the team. We can maybe ease off the abuse of Tripper, Sanchez, Dier. Maybe we can all wait until the final whistle of our final game before we start an autopsy of the club. Cause let’s face it. Our squad maybe depleted, maybe not good enough, maybe carrying dead wood but we are 1-0 down at half time in a Champions league Semi final, sat 3rd in the best league in the world, have some of the most talented (on their day) players in Europe and one of the best managers out there. I’ve not even mentioned the state of the art training facilities, oh and the best stadium in the world!

Maybe we are all fickle bastards who like to moan a lot. We’re allowed an opinion. We’re allowed to argue with each other but at times, let’s not forget the bigger picture because at the end of the day, even if we lose the 2nd leg, even if we drop out of the top 4, we’ll keep coming back again and again.

Why? Because this is our club. Our one and only club.

J

[wowheadquarters]

I have a little idea for the 1k followers. As I followed this blog recently, I was wondering about his history. If you feel like it, could do a summary? Like, why did you start it? Your first joy/disappointment. Any thing that we haven't see that you might want to share. Absolutely anything about the blog and you. (If you're comfortable with it of course)

This is a very good idea, lovable anon, I’ll try.

History:

It was 17th November 2015, somewhen in Tuesday afternoon. I don’t remember what exactly sparked the idea of starting this blog, but I can say for certain that it was heavily inspired by the @bleachlists (which is, if you ask me, better humor than canon Bleach). And thus the first list was born.

(I never expected this blog to get famous. Or followers besides bots for that matter. I hoped, maybe, for a little circle of, like, 5 actual readers. I certainly didn’t think I would keep this blog for longer than 4 months. That’s how it is with me usually, I have bursts of inspiration but lack long-term dedication. The fact that this blog is still going is a miracle.)

At first the lists were written in the “chat” style. I had to make up my own prompts, because the two followers or so only hearted the posts but didn’t interact with me at all otherwise. That’s why the activity was very irregular at the time, I was writing when I was inspired and thus a month could pass without a word from me and then boom, three posts in a week. Additionally, I wasn’t writing only lists, but also short stuff, kind of like “Slice of life from Azeroth.” Of these the most famous is Chromie and Dragons and in my opinion the best one and not enough appreciated one is Kel’thuzad’s Heard Of Sylvanas’ Plans.

The first breakthrough came in January 2016 when an anon, who made me happy so much that I called them “lovable” in the list and kept on doing so for all following anons, requested the very first requested list, the Care of Babies list. For a long time this has been the list with the most notes. Now there are too many lists to keep count and Tumblr doesn’t do “the best of your posts,” but still it is one of the most popular posts I have and along with the Chromie and Dragons it still pops up in my notifications. Around April 2016 I had stable enough queue of requested lists to stop making up my own prompts, thus I could completely rely on prompts from followers, most of them from anons.

Another important milestone was August of the same year: First of all, I came up with a posting schedule (Fridays and Mondays, but two months later I understood that was too fast - It ate the prompts faster than they were prompted, and I wasn’t managing it). Then Taedal was added to the lists, at first he was meant as a joke, as I keep reminding him and everyone else, and somehow it happened he stayed here. Additionally, Varian and Vol’jin’s deaths were acknowledged, putting Anduin on the list. Soon after, Garrosh joined in from beyond the veil to annoy Vol’jin in his afterlife.

About this time the blog began to create it’s own lore (and not only the L.O.R.E.), and I even had the (short-spanned) will to mystify people that Taedal is going to get his own expansion. I even had a sideblog dedicated to Taedal (in fact, it was Taedal’s own blog, intentioned as a RP blog but somehow it never…got much traffic) and even a wiki. The wiki still exists! I like to think of this as the Golden Age of HeadQuarters verse, when I even got fanfics on AO3 and a dozen of drawings for this blog even. This blog lives in an alternate universe where there is a new isle west of Pandaria and Garrosh adopted 37 dead children in the afterlife and learned to be a better person (not necessarily the same as good person, but let’s not lose hope).

I don’t remember exactly on what occasion in the 2017 the Interviews were added, but they were the first not-list which were requestable (that is, they weren’t the short filler stuff I used to make before). I think it was to celebrate the first 100 followers but I might be wrong. The first Interview was held with Taedal, by my decision, and ever since then the Interviews went by request every twenty days, moved to every other Wednesday, later as of not-so-recently, every other Tuesday. In the history of the Interviews, there happened to be only one which wasn’t published, because nobody asked any questions. (It was Interview with Kel’thuzad, pt. 3, and I jokingly said that “ when we met, the Archlich thought I used the Interview as an excuse to go out for a date with him and things went awkward” which resulted in this Top N list).

From there things went rather fast. To here actually. As a celebration for 600 followers (or was it 500? Memory fails me) I began writing Top N, sort of as of a filler in between the Interviews, so actually now this blog has moved back to the biweekly posting scheme very close to the one from 2016. Earlier this year (2018), there was a list about attack on not-Theramore, where I made up a character especially for my timeline speculations - because timeline shenanigans, it is a bronze dragon, and because it is representing me, the character is called Authormi. That is a very poor play on the word “author” (because I am the author of this blog) and the “-ormu/ormi” suffix characteristic for the Bronze dragonflight. Coincidentally, it was also the first time I have referred to myself with any sort of name here on this blog (besides the FAQ where is a link to my main blog) and I am using it since.

An important part of the blog is post maintenance when I try to at least twice a month (but if I’m very responsible, then every Friday evening) go thorough the blog, update the Interview, Top N, and L.O.R.E. pages, delete old request asks and so on. However, over the years a good number of not-request asks had piled up in here. They were…not filtered here and the blog seemed messy with them. Which is why Authormi vs. Inbox tag was created and from time to time when too many not-request asks pile here, I dump them into these post as a sort of archive. I admit that it is not, uh… ideal in case you are looking for something specific, but it keeps the blog clean. Well, cleaner.

The most recent new development of the blog was the addition of the Allied Races leaders - Alleria Windrunner for the Void Elves/Ral’dorei, High Exarch Turalyon for the Lightforged, Jaina Proudmoore for Kul Tiras, First Arcanist Thalyssra for the Nightborne Elves/Shal’dorei, Mayla Highmountain for the Highmountain Tauren Tribes, Overlord Geya’rah for the Mag’har Orcs, and Princess Talanji for the Zandalari. The choice of the leaders is taken from the information on the Allied Races from Wowpedia.

Speaking of Wowpedia, it is my primal source, besides personal experience, when it comes to writing the lists. I used to rely on WoWWiki, but, uh… that one turned a bit messy a couple of years ago and I never get around to check on it now. When I don’t know something, I look it up on Wowpedia. If it’s not on Wowpedia, I consider it a Free Real Estate lore wildcard, which means I can bullshit it out as long as it is lore/character consistent. I pride myself on giving the characters (leaders) some actual character, because, now correct me if I am wrong, Blizzard writers confuse character personality for that wind flapping pole. I am not saying that I am writing “good” or “pure” characters. They have faults, they are prejudiced, foolhardy, depressed (in not romantic ways), mean, holding grudges. Some, like Garrosh, Genn or Gallywix, are more straightforward in their flaws than others, but I am pouring a cup of sour traits to everyone here. (What I am saying here is: Be critical when you read your favorite leader’s opinion. They might not be right and/or honest.)

Overview, as of today, Monday 19th November 2018:

Published 174 lists, 24 more in the queue + bunch of requests hanging in the asks among the posts. (Somebody needs to do their maintenance)

Published 25 Interviews, 9 more in the queue + some in the asks too, I think I saw one request or two.

Published 21 Top N lists (most favoured number for N is 10), 0 in the queue.

1009 followers, woooo! I love you all. Except the 1009th one who is a porn bot, you can go fuck yourself. ‘Xcuse me. 1008 followers now!

The blog is 3 years and 2 days old. Happy birthday!

Authormi’s pick of lists to read (besides the one linked):

What they say far too often: Vintage one, so you see what the old style was like.

What do the think of the heroes: Meta one!

Their pick for a movie night: There were no guesses on what movie is a Ayeroth-verse of what Earth-verse. I am proud of some of those titles.

No Orc Invasion: The first timeline speculation, which I really lvoed. If somebody was to write that AU, I’d read it actually.

If they could erase one person from existence: Another timeline speculation. I like making those!

Draw the squad: Maybe you could draw the squad?

Watching Les Misérables: This one was an especially important journey for me, because this list is why I saw the musical in the first place. Later I read the book too (I love the book), got into some Les Mis RP, made some very good friends out of that… Yeah, I owe this one lovable anon who requested it a lot. (More or less, now I am also a professional Valjean RPer, except I don’t get paid for it. Whenever somebody who knows me joins a new RP server and they haven’t got Valjean, they usually ask me. Like… what? How? Why? Why do you all think I am a good Valjean? Why- Never mind, this is a Warcraft blog. Moving on.)

Spell of the Violent Tongue: The first time it has been brought to my attention that I think about the characters in a way a lot fo other people doesn’t, because this list surprised a lot of readers, and by surprised I mean hit into feels so hard they complained to me. I talked about it with my mum later (family support is an important thing for me and mum is fan of Warcraft), and I’ve been told that “I treat the characters maybe a bit too realistically.” PSA for everybody: Warcraft is a story about broken people and violent racism.

Their God Tier: For the people who are fan of Homestuck too. (Homestuck itself is good. The fandom is weird)

Garrosh’s 37 ghost children: By which they became more or less canon on this blog, a regular stuff which is to be counted with.

How do they insult people: The most recent popular post.

Interview with Azshara: My personally favorite thing I have ever written for this blog, as in, I don’t think I am going to peak it.

Interview with Luxien: Because I want to press Taedal’s story and “expansion” to everybody, read the interview with his older evil sister.

Top 10 favorite characters: I suppose you are a bit curious who my faves are, so here you go.

Top 10 changes to the story I would do: By heart I am a storywriter. I give such things a lot of thoughts. But as I’ve mentioned earlier, lack of dedication is… making things hard.

Other cool stuff to check out (maybe?):

Taedal’s expansion wiki, of course. I have a lot of thoughts about that world and story and… I would love to went about it a bit, too.

This very cool fanfic on AO3.

The official portrait of Taedal.

The official portrait of Authormi.

The description of this blog, as taken from my personal blog:

wowheadquarters (WoW HeadQuarters, World of Warcraft Headquarters, WoWHQ) is by far my most popular blog, despite being younger than SNTS. I add new content twice a week, on Tuesday and Friday. I never thought I’d make more than 10 posts in total, but there we go. I admit that the original idea comes from bleachlists, but it has sort of evolved since then. I am trying to keep the blog not contradicting the canon, but some things in the HeadQuartersverse might not always agree with the official lore

Final words from Authormi:

Oh my fucking god, this is really unbelieveable that this thing is still going on. I never expected this blog to live beyond a month. I never thought I’d get more than 20 followers. I have 1000 now? That’s… is that Tumblr-famous? I’ve never had this many followers. Do you all read this? All the stuff? Am I shaping your view on the Warcraft universe? This is too much power for one person to have.

You want to know what’s actually my happiest memory connected to this blog? It was actually some time back (because my memory is a mess, I can’t tell you how far back), I had a really, really stuffed couple of weeks. A lot of to do, but also mentally exhausted, I was in a bad place for a bit there. Usually I am able to kick myself in the ass, sit down and make up the list on the go, even if it is bound to be miserable wreck of text, I write it. Sometimes when I am super done and tired, I write it on Saturday evening and pretend it’s Friday and so far everyone’s been so kind and there’s been no comment to that. But in those two or three weeks I just… couldn’t. Even clinging to this self-made structure was too exhausting. I wasn’t on Tumblr for basically the whole time (my main blog was fuelled by the queue). Sometimes when I am in a good place, I write lists in advance and schedule them, but at that time no such a thing took place, so this blog went silent without announcement and I couldn’t care less. When I finally found it in me to come online, my inbox greeted me with various people who were asking me if I was okay and whether or not I am still alive written in a very worried manner. And you know… reading that helped me a lot at the moment. It was a reminder that somebody here cares for me and cares for what I do and… Yeah, it was a damn motivation to get myself together a bit and write stuff and do some stuff. Since then I’m trying to announce in advance if I think I am not going to make it, and even then I am still trying to write the list as soon as possible when I am fit to.

A story for your amusement on this “write it when possible” note. This summer I was with my 4 younger siblings (my oldest sister, still younger than I, turned 18 last Thursday, the youngest sibling who also happens to be a sister is 4, but I don’t live with all the siblings, blah blah divorced parents blah blah, not related) and dad and grandfather in the beautiful village (or town?) of Au in Austria. I took my old laptop with me (I’ve got a new one recently) which had battery that could live on it’s own for, like 10 minutes. The house we were living in had no wi-fi, but there was a village-wide public wi-fi… which din’t reach the house. The nearest was at the bus stop, but that one was shaky, and the good reliable hotspot was at the park, 10 minutes of walk away from the house. Now, it was nearly Friday and I needed to post the list. So I wrote it int he laptop’s notepad, then turned off its life support, took it and dashed across all of Au to the wi-fi hotspot, formatted the document into a list, and hit post. About 2 minutes later, the laptop died.

I am thinking about making another blog directly meant for the asks, request or not, and those would stay there. What do you all think? Maybe I would lose things there, I am quite capable of it.

I’d love to talk about Taedal and his demons and his entire story a bit more. But I haven’t got, like, a reason to do so. I am sort of insecure in this matter, I sort of have the feeling that nobody really cares for Taedal here. ��What are you thinking, a ‘good demon’ OC?” (Ask me about Taedal and his faction and the Broken and Distant Worlds expansion. I have an expansion and half planned in my head.)

There is some kind of an expectation or anticipation in me to have someone from Blizz discovering this blog and some big consequences happening. I am not sure whether I want it to happen or not. I mean, I am a bit… too-critical of their work in attempt to please the crowd here. (It’s easy to search for flaws when you take the good stuff as the norm. You are actually doing a good job, Blizzard, in the terms of game developing and marketing. But there is that one post going around which says that Warcraft lore/story is written by 9 people who cannot talk to each other. In this spirit, I am sure that there are 4 people writing charcter psychological profiles who don’t know of each other’s existence. Your animation is a snack, though.)

Wow. I suck at summaries. This is as brief as it gets.

[ayearofpike]

Spooksville #5: The Cold People

Pocket Books, 1996 118 pages, 12 chapters + epilogue ISBN 0-671-55064-0 LOC: CPB Box no. 308 vol. 6 OCLC: 34048131 Released February 1, 1996 (per B&N)

Not long after the freak heat wave, it is weirdly below freezing in July. The Spook Squad isn’t gonna let a chilly day deter them from exploring, though, and neither is finding ice coffins in the woods. But when they thaw out, it turns out the corpses inside aren’t actually dead, and they start turning everyone in Spooksville into ice zombies. There’s only one way to stop them: fire. But how will the kids ever produce enough?

Spoilers: He fuckin’ wrote Monster again. (You thought I was gonna say The Cold One II again, didn’t you?) I mean, the reason for the ice coffins is left unresolved, and the kids acknowledge it, but ... you know what, we’ll get to the rest of it.

One more quick side note: this is the first Spooksville cover that has nothing to do with direct events in the book. We see Cold People dragging humans out of their houses, but from outside and not the perspective of being there when they come ringing. I’m not even sure who this little twerp is supposed to be, because Adam has dark hair and Watch has glasses. So at least they got that right, that neither of them would have been in such a position.

Our intrepid heroes find these mysterious blue ice blocks in the thickest part of the woods, on a day that for some reason is below freezing at I assume 10 am. Now I don’t know about you, but I’m staying inside when it’s cold, because ... well, it’s cold, goddammit. But these kids go out, even Sally, who is a native and probably doesn’t even OWN a jacket. Like, the thing about coastal California is it stays pretty much the same temperature all year, so the locals don’t expect much fluctuation. I have a really hard time imagining a local wanting to brave the cold, but then again, if we’ve learned anything about Sally it’s that she’s not cowed by anything.

But the ice blocks. Watch wants to thaw one out, because science. So they start a campfire, and pretty soon there’s a blue hand and arm exposed. Obviously it couldn’t belong to a live person, right? Except it suddenly grabs Watch, and then the rest of the ice block explodes to reveal a cold blue man with cold blue eyes. Watch is already shivering just from being held, and he yells to his friends to try to attack with fire. But before they can retrieve Watch, the cold blue man carries him off into the forest, faster than they can follow, faster than they thought a person could move.

So now what? If there’s weird shit happening and no way to track down the source, who do you talk to? Yep, the friends go find Bum. He tells them a story of the lost continents of Atlantis and Lemuria, populated by ancient aliens and devastated by war with each other. But as it turns out, one sect of the aliens wanted the Atlanteans wiped out, and persuaded the Lemurians to use extreme prejudice in exchange for eternal life. So the Lemurians put rockets on an asteroid and aimed it at Atlantis, and in return the aliens took some of the leaders and replaced their blood with Cryo, a freezing material that preserves the body and even boosts speed and strength — but at the expense of the soul. You spend the rest of your non-life in your mobile body resenting warm people and preparing to kill them, or at least make them like you. They went to the North Pole to wait out the asteroid fallout, but now it seems these Cryo Creatures have returned.

You can beat them with fire, Bum knows, and there’s no better fire weapon than a flamethrower. Fortunately, the freaky militia man who runs the army surplus store has a couple. While they’re buying them, the Cold People show up and surround the place. Freaky Militia Man goes outside with his guns, and, well, you can’t shoot ice and expect it to do anything. So the good guys barricade themselves inside the store and have to figure out what to do next.

As it happens, there are two hot-air balloons in the back of the store, so three twelve-year-olds and a homeless man haul them up the stairs onto the roof. And right here is where I disconnect from this story. I have spent a LOT of time around hot-air balloons. In fact, I was at the world’s largest balloon rally this weekend. And there’s no way these people can safely and accurately fly balloons around Spooksville the way it’s described. Hell, I don’t think Pike actually did much research into it. Like, it was necessary to the story, so sure, they fly balloons. Please watch for my all-caps incredulity at untrained super pilots.

Sally and Bum set up the two balloons — ONE EACH, BY THEMSELVES — while Adam and Cindy guard the store. Adam happens to see a box of dynamite and carries it upstairs, to load on board just in case it’s useful. While he’s up there, though, four Cold People have pried open the barred door and are getting in. Cindy can’t bring herself to set a human-looking being on fire, so Adam has to ward them off as they race inside. Cindy gets up the stairs, and Adam has a little grappling match with a hand on his ankle, which grips tightly enough to break the skin, before he shoots the fire just right and literally melts the Cold Person’s head. Of course, this little blast of fire catches more in the shop, and remember this is an ammunition warehouse. The four friends are just clear of the roof when the whole thing blows up.

Of course they didn’t get all the Cold People with one shot. Most of them are rampaging around town, going after all those warm assholes. But what else is to be done? Even the witch, Ann Templeton, is stuck inside her castle, with the drawbridge up, shooting flames out the tower window, so she can’t help. And Adam’s ankle is starting to go numb. But they spot Watch in the cemetery, looking lost, and they decide to take the risk and try to save him, even if he’s already been turned. Of course he has, but Bum manages to pin him down with the flamethrower long enough for Sally to whack him over the head with a stick and knock him out. They make it back to the balloon ahead of the other Cold People, despite Adam’s rapidly freezing leg  —

but now what? They can’t just float around forever; eventually they’re GONNA RUN OUT OF PROPANE even though Pike never says this. And anyway, the Cold People are going to realize that there’s a whole world of warm humans to turn sooner or later. If only the witch could have helped them! And suddenly Adam remembers one of Sally’s grousing points about Ann Templeton: her lack of care for the environment. Apparently she’s drilled several oil wells on the hill above the reservoir. Adam remembers the underground streams, and realizes that if he can get enough oil flowing through the water that runs under the town, maybe he’ll be able to warm the temperature of all of Spooksville. What good will that do? Well, he expects that the Cold People need cold temperatures to be able to maintain their bodies. After all, they supposedly went to the North Pole during the war, and it was this sudden cold snap that presaged their appearance. If it warms up, hopefully they’ll all melt.

So that’s the plan, officially: crack the lines from the oil wells so crude flows into the town’s water supply, and then set the whole thing on fire. And the hero of the story is slowly turning into one of the bad guys while he plans this. Do you see Monster yet?

The kids land their balloon SQUARE ON THE TOP OF A TRUCK and LIGHT THE BASKET ON FIRE BUT SLOWLY CLIMB OUT BEFORE IT FLIES AWAY. Of course Sally knows how to hotwire a truck, and they drive it up to the reservoir and prepare to flood it with Texas tea. Adam’s leg is totally numb now — and his whole body is slowly getting colder, and he’s slowly starting to resent Sally more and more, and he knows they don’t have much time before he turns on her. But the cold in his veins gives him enough intellect to advise on the best way to blow up the oil tanks without making them explode, just enough to open a hole. Unfortunately, as she’s setting it up, Watch wakes up and goes after her. She doesn’t have enough gas in her flamethrower to get him and the dynamite both, so she blows the lines and runs for it, leaping into the reservoir itself to keep some distance from a newly-turned Cold Person who for some reason doesn’t want to get wet. And this is the moment Adam’s been waiting for, as the oil sinks down and starts flowing through the town ... but Sally’s in the water, and if he lights the oil, she’ll fry.

Cindy and Bum to the rescue! While the other kids stole the truck, they LANDED ON A HARDWARE STORE ROOF and busted in to swipe a fan and a generator. Cindy had to overcome her flamethrower-averseness to save Bum from a random Chilly in the store, but once they were back to the balloon they RIGGED THE FAN SO THEY COULD FLY IN ANY DIRECTION THEY WANTED, NEVER MIND THAT THE WIND IS PUSHING ON THE WHOLE ENVELOPE OF THE BALLOON AND THEY’RE USING A FUCKING HOUSEHOLD FAN. Then they STEERED THE BALLOON TO THE RESERVOIR and SWOOPED DOWN TO THE SURFACE to grab Sally somehow, even though there’s NO WAY Cindy has an arm long enough to REACH DOWN FROM THE TOP OF THE GONDOLA TO GRAB ANOTHER ARM STICKING OUT OF THE WATER. 

But now Adam can light a stick of dynamite that catches all of the oil and heats up the town. And all the original Cold People melt, and all the new Cold People warm up enough to go back to normal, I guess because the cold wasn’t too invasive yet. But we still have our question: how did they get here? I guess that’s got to be answered another time, because Pike is out of pages.

I can’t get too mad at the Monster rehash here. Like, this is four years later and aimed at a different audience, and the rationale for filling the reservoir with oil is just different enough that I’m willing to let it slide. I’m not mad at the cover, really, either, because there’s not quite a bookstore-safe way to represent kidnapping and zombification and blowing shit up. I’m not even mad that we don’t get to learn what the hell Kalika is going to do when she gets big and realizes her undead dad gave her death powers. I am mad at the impossible hot-air balloon acrobatics, but again, I’ll admit that I’m closer to that than a lot of people. But overall, The Cold People is the first Spooksville that I’ve been ... er ... less than warm on.

[jonathantaylorthomas]

Spencer Pratt’s track by track reputation review

1. "...Ready for It?"

It’s such a "here we go, boom," turning the ignition on her Lamborghini or whatever she wants to have. That’s the vibe it has. "In the middle of the night, in my dreams, you should see the things we do, baby" — that right there, even with all the new songs, hits me so hard. I’ve heard it now a thousand times and every time it makes me sing to the clouds. That is poetic, like some shit Robert Frost would have been writing back in the day. Now that I know it’s the first on the album, it’s just even more powerful. It’s showing the swag that she’s gonna bring. Are you ready for it? I wasn’t actually ready for it. And the "let the games begin" — she already knows all the haters are gonna be out here. All the little blogs, all the little posts. Let the games begin. She knows she just brought this heat on so many people.

I’m so torn because I’m such a Kardashian diehard. I’m in such a weird predicament in this situation because she gets me so angry at Kim and Kanye on this album. It’s gonna be weird being a Kim fan post-Reputation. I’ll see how I can handle it. Maybe I’ll just only love Kris Jenner because you can’t blame Kris for anything.

2. "End Game"

Here’s the thing with "End Game." Future is one of my top 10 all-time, so when I saw the track list leak and I saw Future on it I was so excited. Heidi thinks it’s fine. She thinks I’m way too Swift ganged out, she’s like, "He barely spits eight bars, Spencer." I’m like, "Yeah, those could have been eight bars of Taylor lyrics." That’s how deep I am right now in the Taylor gang where I didn’t need either of them on that song. I don’t need to hear Ed Sheeran rapping. When he started singing I was like, "OK, homie’s got pipes." I’m feeling those singing parts. But him rapping with his Irish accent, I was like, "Come on now." I don’t need this in my life. I don’t need Taylor to be on any records with anybody, just like I wouldn’t need Michael Jackson to be on a record with somebody. At a certain level you’re only wanting to hear that person because they’re a damn superstar. But I started liking it because my conspiracy mind was like, "Ooo, maybe Future doesn’t like Kanye and there’s more to this." Like he hit Taylor up like, "Yo fuck Yeezy, let me get on a record with you." Future’s eight billion times doper than Kanye so it’s kinda like, "I don’t need Kanye West I got Future on my team." I hope Kanye’s now like, "Damn, Future’s riding with her." That makes me like it, if there’s a conspiracy that Future wanted to piss off Kanye.

3. "I Did Something Bad"

This should be the next single, one billion percent. I hope she spends $10 million on the damn music video. I don’t know what she did bad, so I think that’s the joke. I feel that. Because I didn’t do anything bad and I got straight up hated on The Hills for somebody lying about their own thing they were lying about and I become the liar and the leaker. I love this because I’m like, "OK, if I did something bad it feels so good because you’re the damn liar." I’m thinking she’s referencing this whole Snapchat thing, I don’t know. I’m sure the Swiftie YouTubers will break it down better than I will. For me, I relate to it because I didn’t do anything bad and I got hated and I have no idea why people hate on Taylor. Because she wants to have a really good image? Because she didn’t go out like Katy Perry and act like she’s some damn politician in the media? I don’t know wanna know who Taylor votes for. I don’t care. I wanna hear hit damn records out of her and that’s it. I wanna see her go on dates in Rome with frickin' Tom Hiddleston. That’s what I wanted to see, not her running around with Hillary Clinton. I’m sure people are like, "She could have stopped Trump." No she couldn’t, people! Hello, Hillary won the popular vote! What, is she gonna switch the electoral college vote? I don’t think so, so everyone needs to move off of, “Oh, I hate Taylor because she didn’t campaign enough.” I hate that shit. She’s a frickin’ pop star.

4. "Don't Blame Me"

This one’s amazing. This is what I imagine I’m gonna play when I’m feeding my hummingbirds. My hummers are gonna love this one. I also love it because I just had a baby and my baby’s definitely like my drug that I’m straight high off of, snorting his little hair off his head daily, so again I feel like she’s writing for me. I know she’s talking about Joe or whatever. By the way, I need to do more research about Joe because this guy is frickin’ Romeo on steroids. He’s got Taylor so damn sprung it’s overwhelming. I feel like she just made her own Ex Machina robot Ava but Joe. She went to the mountains to live next to the waterfall and had Google make her a boyfriend.

5. "Delicate"

I love this one. I know people are gonna be like, "Are you crazy, it’s nothing like it," but to me it reminds me of my wife’s song "Fanatic." I love when the beat comes in. The production on this album is just phenomenal. Her voice sounds the best it’s ever sounded. Everything just sounds so smooth and glossy and just makes me wanna drink red wine and eat cheese and crackers. I love “my reputation’s never been worse.” That’s why I’m riding Taylor so hard lately because fools are on the timeline hating on her like Spencer 2009. I’m telling you, the last time I saw this type of hate was targeted at me. When did Taylor become as hated as Spencer Pratt?

6. "Look What You Made Me Do"

It’s so unique. It could have been the first song instead of "...Ready for It?" To me, she’s snapping on this album. That’s why I love "Look What You Made Me Do." That’s why I keep playing it. That’s why as long as I have Snapchat it will be go-to, because there’s just moments throughout the day where I just feel like, "Look what you just made me do." That’ll always be my favorite Taylor Swift song for life. The second that dropped I was like, "Oh my god, who is this? This is Taylor Swift?" I feel like I’m rising up from the dead. I feel like I’m just coming in the game like Taylor. Taylor and I are on parallel journeys right now.

7. "So It Goes..."

This’ll be good in a movie scene or something. I don’t wanna say least favorite, but this is on the bottom of my rotation. So far I’ve probably played this song maybe twice out of ones I now played probably 100 times. The thing about certain songs though, if it’s in the right setting, like if I was late night in London and this came on and I was sipping tequila on ice and maybe the vibe was right, I could see it. Right now it’s definitely not getting in my Snapchat rotation which tells you the level, but I’m not gonna go and say it’s a bad song. There’s such insane records on the album I don’t know how it made the cut, let’s just say that.

8. "Gorgeous"

"Gorgeous" to me will always remind me of my baby being two weeks old and how beautiful his little face is. There are better songs on this album but "Gorgeous" should win a Grammy. That’s how crazy this album is, that this is now going probably toward the bottom with "So It Goes..." which is so trippy. It’s a perfect Taylor song. This is what people want from her. It’s less flashy. It seems like it was from the Red album or 1989. It still sounds fresh but the vibe is the pre-dead Taylor.

9. "Getaway Car"

The best part about Taylor’s life is that I really listen to these lyrics trying to decode her life. Very few artists have lives so wild that you can care so much about their lyrical content. This hook is unbelievable. It sounds like an '80s jam. It seems like it would be in the new Goonies movie. [Tom Hiddleston] was like a James Bond to her! He was doing that dope-ass spy TV show, he’s probably all spy swaggy. I really loved them together so I’m still kind of sad about [their breakup]. I wish they would get back in that getaway car. The fact that he really wore that "I Love T.S." shirt when he was pretty much an A-list movie star and was out there at that barbecue — he was all in. She got him. People were like, "That was fake." He was not about to look that corny with his brand unless he was really all like, "Oh my god, I love this little hundred-millionaire girl."

10. "King of My Heart"

"King of My Heart" is not one of my favorites. Girl, don’t give Joe your soul yet! You just started dating.

11. "Dancing With Our Hands Tied"

Ooo, I love this one. This reminds me of "“Style." It may be one of my top three favorites. The music video is gonna be just so Fifty Shades of Grey-ed out. The ones that are super positive have to be Joe. She’s not about to give any of those dudes positive content at this point. This is just fire.

12. "Dress"

I hope she told her mom and dad, "Don’t listen to this one." At 0:49 when she starts doing the pant-y breathing? I think that’s one of her best moments of singing. That hits my fricking holy damn spirit. Bless. "Carve your name into my bedpost?" Whoa, girl! She is out here living her best sexual life. "Everyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about..." That’s Speidi right there, girl! She’s pouring her life onto these pages. She has nothing to lose now. She wanted to just open up her heart to everyone. She doesn’t need to do interviews if she writes songs like this. She doesn’t need to reply to people, she just can write these hits. "Flashback to my mistakes." Damn, she’s just telling everybody what they want to hear. Like, "People, I’m just a human. I’m just out here trying to live my life. Why do you judge me so hard for trying to be a girl out here and trying to find love?" People are on her case so hard. Leave Taylor alone!

13. "This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things"

I don’t think it’s about Kanye. Would she have really called Kanye a friend? I don’t feel like she ever let him into her life on a friend level. I think it’s one of those girls. I feel like Karlie Kloss got clipped the hardest out of the squad, but the whole squad got clipped too. How is Spencer Pratt riding harder for Taylor Swift’s new singles than any of that clique that she had at all her barbecues that I’m sure she sent Hermès bags to? Cars, who knows what Taylor gift levels are. Her fake-ass squad pisses me off so much, how they didn’t step up during all her drama. It’s mind-boggling. Maybe not all the squad were real friends, but I think at least Karlie Kloss looked like a real enough fake friend. Where are you, girl? Where have you been? Don’t even get me started.

14. "Call It What You Want"

"Call It What You Want" is just beyond beautiful. My homie that does not listen to pop, he said, "Man, those lyrics are like straight trap lyrics." The lyrical swag in his one, just like "brought a knife to a gunfight," "all the liars are calling me one" — those lyrics right there will go down forever to me. This is top-four I would say. I love "all the jokers dressing up as kings." That’s definitely Kanye. He’s always dressing all, "Oh, I’m so fashion, Mr. Fashion King," and she’s just calling him a straight clown.

15. "New Year's Day"

This just made me so sad that I’ve never been invited to any of Taylor’s parties. This one kind of got me emotional. None of those squad members deserve to be at any of those catered events. I’m so glad she eliminated all those people from her life. Those were all leeches. It’s great everything turned out the way it did.

[jrpneblog]

Will the storm pass?

“Keep the faith, the storm will pass” tweeted a good friend of mine this week as Social media reached boiling point after Tuesday nights horror show in the Lancashire derby. I`m not sure it will, I thought to myself as I reflected on the tweet of someone who has an opinion I have great respect for. There is usually a sequence of events when a manager has taken a club as far as he can go. Usually starts off with him blaming bad luck, then poor refereeing, then injuries, then blaming the players. After that it sort of descends into desperation. Alex Neil has blamed the lack of fans or noise but surely that is the same for every team, it is just that other managers seem to get their teams up for the occasions. I think John Beck once had a spirit exorcised from Deepdale and Paul Simpson had a pop at Elvis as I recall. This was a bit unfortunate as the King had been dead 30 years, I disgress! Alex Neil has had his fair share of injuries that is for sure and several of his better players have been sold from under his feet. I think North End fans sort of expect this, after all we are a selling club and always will be under this regime and many before it I might add. However it is the type of football being played, particularly at Deepdale that is making a growing percentage of fans call for change. If you look at Alex Neil`s record in the three full seasons he has been here we have finished 7th, 14th and 9th, which gives us an average of 10th. Now many will  think that is indeed a very good achievement all things considered. Well it is until you factor in some of the garbage that has been served up at home in this calendar year and the managers persistence with playing one striker at home. One shot on target in two home games against teams that were both below us before the respective games started sort of underlines my point. I am still with the manager as we speak ahead of the games at Watford on Saturday and Bournemouth in the week. These are two tough games and not really games or results the manager should live or die by. However if nothing comes back in the next few days from Vicarage Road or the Vitality Stadium then my support for the current managerial regime will have expired. I have never been one for calling for the head of a manager but two more defeats on top of continual poor quality at home may well be enough.

Reflecting on the past seven days it was not the best week we have ever had even though we started off with a home win against Sheffield Wednesday last Saturday. The sending off of Windass certainly helped our cause but the fact that Tom Barkhuizen`s winner at the start of the second half was the only effort on target probably says more about the game than another five paragraphs could. On Tuesday North End fans took a real body punch as we were beaten 0-3 at home by local rivals Blackburn Rovers. The sending off of Joe Rafferty just before the break certainly didnt help but the game didnt swing on that decision. Rovers were slicker, smarter, more agressive and just wanted it more than North End and with Tyrhys Dolan scoring the third goal it just about pput the tin hat on it as far as North End were concerned.

Looking ahead we have a very difficult week coming up with trips to Watford and Bournemouth but with some of the away results this season who knows what North End will serve up. No doubt in my mind that those thirteen points on the road ahve kept Alex Neil in his job and he needs to produce some more of the same as we head down the M6 ahead of these games. I fancied Watford to bounce straight back but they have had more managers in the last few seasons than my local Morrisons. However it is not the easiest place to go to with a full squad never mind with eight first team squad players missing. Anything from this game would be a good result and I suppose the result at Watford might affect the managers thoughts for the game at Bournemouth, which will be as tough if not tougher. We must bring something back from these games but just as important at this crucial point in our season is the performance. Two defeats and I fear Steve Thompson will be caretaker manager for the next home game.

And finally this week :- most of the football world mourned the loss of Diego Maradona who died from a heart attack this week at just 60 years old. Maradona was undoubtedly one of the the all time football greats on the field but I think saying he was the greatest ever is a step too far in my opinion. He was a tortured soul, perhaps misguided and some may call him a cheat for an incident in Aztec Stadium in the Summer of 1986. He was raised in Villa Fiorito, a shantytown on the southern outskirts of Buenos Aires, Argentina and grew up to be the Messiah in his homeland. Love him or hate you have to respect his greatness as a footballer and I do just that. 

RIP Diego - one of football`s all time greats

JR`s HIGH FIVES           

ARSENAL to beat WOLVES 21/20           

A £5 Stake returns £10.25 on bet365     

SEASONS STATS           

Returns  £55.00    Stake £60.00    percentage profit  - 8.33%      

Predictions 12   won 5   lost 7

[ihamtmus]

He used his brilliant mind, his superpower, >> to kill people. Tony is the biggest villain of the MCU. He is the Donald Trump of the MCU!!

Youcome into my inbox, you disrespect my man Tony Stark… and I could be angry with youbut, to be honest, your message made me very happy. Guys! The day has come! Igot an anon message telling me that Tony Stark is a villain and I am now officiallya member of the Tony Stark Defense Squad! So, even though it may be wiser toignore this message, I decided to celebrate by actually answering it.

“Heused his brilliant mind, his superpower, >> to kill people.”You quoted my post herebut you changed the ending. The result is quite ridiculous, if I may say. (Forthose who don’t want to read the post I linked, we’re talking about Ultron here).Look, English is not my mother tongue so forgive me if I’m wrong but I’m prettysure that the grammatical construction “to do something” implies an intentionbehind the action. If I go to the shop to buy an apple, I go there in order to buy an apple, with the intention of doing so. I’m sorry,are you a native English speaker? If you’re not, that could be an excuse, but youcan’t possibly think that Tony’sintention there was to kill people.What was Tony’s intention when he decided to create Ultron? (I’m not going tosay “when he created Ultron” because it would be a blatant Bruce Banner erasureand also Ultron kind of created himself, the AI was already in the stone andall. And we can’t forget about Wanda. Let’s not discuss it here). It’s veryclear in the movie. He did that to protect the Earth and everybody on it. Wandaplayed with his mind and we could see his fears: his friends dead and the Earthinvaded. He did what he did to preventthat from happening. He did it to protectpeople, not to kill them, anon, you can’t possiblyfight me on that, you just can’t.

“Tonyis the … villain of the MCU.”Now the second part of your message. It’s not less ridiculous, but far more oftenbelieved in than the first. It’s really weird that some people think Tony is avillain. Let’s check what the word “villain” means, shall we?villain - (in a film, novel, orplay) a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot (source)Now, I agree that Tony’s actions and motives are important to the plot but I’mafraid you missed the “evil” part of the definition.Tony has made some mistakes, yes. But is a mistake an “evil action”? Isn’t anintention to harm necessary for an action to be considered truly evil? I thinkthat the “evil action” and “evil motives” are connected. Creating Ultron was amistake but it was not an evil action, for it was done with a pure motive. Youcan point out Tony’s mistakes all you want (he’d gladly do that himself), butyou cannot question his motives. All this man does, he does to protect others.

Let’s take a look at the definition of the word“hero” now.hero - a person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, ornoble qualities (source)If you’ve seen any of the movies you’ll have to agree that Tony has courage and,in fact, lots of it. There are more proofs of that than I am in the mood tocount right now. Just to name a few situations… escaping from that Afghanistancave, saving civilians from terrorists while being a civilian without anytraining himself, stopping a crazy guy with electric whips without a suit,chatting with Loki, fighting aliens, flying a nuke into a portal, going to killa terrorist with homemade weapons, being part of the Avengers who fight aliensand crazy robots on a daily basis… like okay I’m going to stop now but I hopeyou can see that Tony is no coward. A coward would never become Iron Man. Gosh,a coward would have built the JerichoMissile for the terrorists and died in that cave to begin with. Well, atleast you wouldn’t be calling him a villain now.

But Tony’s courage is even deeper than doing thosebrave deeds. It’s about falling and rising. It’s about getting out of that caveand changing his whole life for the better. It’s about realising the harmcaused by his weapons and shutting down the weapons division. It’s about beingbetrayed by people who were close to him but still choosing to trust others. It’sabout being told he’s not fit to be a hero but being a hero nonetheless, everyday. It’s about creating Ultron (yes, that) because he refused to stand back andlet everyone die. It’s about not curling in a ball and crying out of the agonyof remorse when Ultron went crazy, even though it would’ve been so much easierthan doing everything in his power to clean up that mess. It’s about going on,every day, even though he blames himself for everything bad that happens. It’sabout trying to make up for it, for all his mistakes, and for the mistakes ofothers.

On to the next part of the definition. I’ve already mentioned some “outstandingachievements” of his, like putting the nuke in that portal (which saved theManhattan and finished the fight) but let’s add saving of the president and havinghis part in creating Vision to the list. Well, it’s not the whole list,obviously. But the point is proven, so let’s move on.

Now, noble qualities. Let’s take the list from this site. There are so many of them that I’mgoing to be very brief on each, but if youwatched the movies, you’re going to know what I mean.

*sacrifice – taking the nuke through the wormhole*determination – he! gotta! save!*loyalty – coming back to the Avengers while not being on active duty when thingsgot rough, wanting to arrest others instead of letting killing squads deal withthem (yes, I’d call it loyalty, he could have just sit and watch you know?)*courage – already discussed*dedication – have you ever seen a more dedicated guy, like, have you seen himat work*bravery – may I remind you about the nuke and aliens and stuff*perseverance – get the image of him dragging his disabled suit in aforest through the snow*focused – he literally doesn’t sleep when he has a goal he wants toachieve*conviction – he believes in what he does, he wants to continue doing it*selfless – fighting for others while risking one’s life is hardly egoistic, Ithink it’s quite the opposite*gallantry – the definition on that site tells me it’s about fighting the danger“with high and cheerful spirit” and well, if it isn’t Tony Stark*fortitude – does refusing to make a Jericho for the terrorists count? yesI’m sorry but at the end of the list of qualities on that site was this: “Heroes are not born, they are made. Anyone of us can acquirethese heroic qualities and can be a hero” and well if it isn’t Tony Stark.Wouldn’t you agree that the word “hero” fitsTony far more accurately than the one you used to describe him? Surprise, surprise!Tony is actually a hero! Who would’ve thought, right?

But! You didn’t only call him a villain, didyou. You said “the biggest villain of the MCU”. One, Tony is not a villain.Two, there are many villains in the MCU, why must you insist that a hero is avillain if you have plenty of them already. Three, all of the villains did badthings, why do you think that Tony, a hero, is worse than them? Four, have you heardof Thanos? Wait for Infinity War and then tell me Tony is the biggest villainof the MCU, please. Not that Tony couldn’t be the biggest villain. I mean, ifhe only wanted to, he could. Thanos would look pathetic nextto him. The thing is, Tony is a good man with pure intentions. Luckily foreveryone.

“He is the Donald Trump of the MCU!!”Now this is something that bothers me a lot, and it’s not because of the reasonyou probably think. Just.. it’s clearly stated on my blog that I’m fromPoland. Why do you come into my inbox and compare a character to the presidentof the USA that I have near to no interest in? Why would you assume I think he’sthe biggest villain of our universe? It’s just… no? Why would you do this?I do know some things about Donald Trump though, mostly from tumblr. I knowthat some of the things that people have against him are his attitude towardsimmigrants and the way he handles healthcare. Well, as far as I can tell, Tonyhas nothing against immigrants. Take one example: he has nothing against WandaMaximoff. More than that, he’s trying to protect her from being deported. Thegirl is not a US citizen and she doesn’t have a visa. Not very Trump-y of Tony,right? As for the Trumpcare, I don’t know how it works. I guess that peoplehave lower taxes but have to pay for their healthcare?? Tony has numerousfoundations and funds everything always, so jot that down. I might be wrongabout this whole Trump thing but, like I said, I don’t know that much about it.Maybe next time think before you send someone who’s not from the USA amessage comparing someone to Donald Trump. As I see it: connections to DonaldTrump? None. Oh yeah, he’s a white rich male but I had no idea that makes you avillain.

So that’s that. What you said in your messageturned out to be untrue. Surprised? Did you think it wouldn’t? No but honestly,did you?

Did you expect me to agree with you? Did you expect me to be persuaded by yourzero (0) arguments? Really, what was yourpurpose here?

I have no idea what you wanted to achieve with that message, but I’ll tellyou what you did achieve. You got along post about why Tony is not a villain and why he is a hero. You got a post whichexplains to you why you’re wrong. Anon, doyou realise that? I’m talking to all the anti-Tony anons here. You are justgiving us all an excuse to produce long detailed posts about how amazing Tonyis. You are just giving us an excuse to write something other Tony fans, notyou, will enjoy. Do you realise how unwise that move of yours is? You’re notgoing to persuade us into thinking that Tony is a bad guy. If anything, it’s you who’s going to be persuaded. If that’sthe case, if you want to be persuaded, sure, send anti-Tony asks. We’ll allgladly explain to you why you’re wrong. Because we enjoy that. So, thank you,for giving us the opportunity. But you might want to think twice before sendingan anti-Tony message again. This Isn’t Working.

And the last thing: Tony is not written as avillain. He is not supposed to be a villain. If you accept that, you’re goingto enjoy the movies more, trust me.

[fictionxlover]

GH Theories

Here are a few theories I have about this whole Jasoning situation. I honestly feel like I am watching D & D game of thrones and I am coming up with theories to try to make sense of it all and really in canon it's not gonna be any of these theories and will make 0 fucking sense.

1) Steve is Jason and they are giving the audience red herrings to throw them off. Now I have seen people who say Steve could be Nik. I can see why some think this: patient 6 reacted weirdly to Ava saying “Nik”, Valentin blood fell on Nik’s name. First, I just got say Steve coming back to play Nik makes no goddamn sense. I can see Steve being a different character but Nik? Nik having Steve’s face? What? Does this mean Sam and other characters would feel semi-attractive to Nik cuz he had Steve’s face? I am being dead serious too, Y'all. People think people would be mad if Steve is Jason (which from what I have seen only Killy Nujasam fans r mad @ that) but if Steve is Nik...soap twitter gonna be on fire. Also, someone mentioned how Mo said Kelly is working with Billy AND Steve a lot...so idk why she would work with Steve a lot if he is Nik. Except they gonna try to do some incestuous shit but this is not HBO.

Going back to red herrings. The Nik stuff seems most likely like red herrings imo. Valentin blood drops on Nik’s name. Well...that could be symbolic? You know the themes with Cassadines are curses. What if by murdering Nik then after trying to be victim Valentin is cursed? Nik’s death will always haunt him and will get in the way with what he wants which is having a happy life with Nina and Charlotte. Then we have patient 6 reacting weirdly to name Nik Cassadine. Well, you can say its Nik, he knew Ava! But you also have to think well...Jason knew Nik...he was Emily’s love...also...Cassadines have had patient 6 all this time...then there is, of course, this tells this patient that Ava is from PC...so he could use her or work with her in the future.

Lastly, for this theory is that patient 6 acts like Jason and we can not ignore the mentions we get from other characters about old vs new Jason. Patient 6 is very quiet but you know he is listening. He moves his hands a bit to communicate as well. Also, he looks outside a lot, showing that he wants to escape this prison. One hint that this patient could be Jason is that once Ava says she wouldn’t want to be a vegetable and stuck in this prison, he curls up his hand in a ball. Which shows anger and frustration. Before this scene, Carly was just talking about old Jason and how he would want the plug pulled and would hate being like this (which we all know is true). Then the biggest one from the recent episode was Carly talking about how she lost Jason and their connection. That even tho she had formed this connection with this new Jason that it's not the same and she still grieves the friendship she had with Jason before he “died” then next scene is Steve slowly taking off his glasses and we see his blue eyes.

Listen, you could argue that what I am saying is wrong and they are tricking us but I am sorry I can’t ignore them saying over 5x a week how Jason is SO DIFFERENT FROM WHO HE WAS. Why say that? We already know that. The audience already knows that Billy!Jason is very different from old Jason so why are we rehashing this? Are they preparing us to see Jason be more different and live a different life with Sam? I can’t even trust that cuz they failed us before. We could have been seeing Jason with Curtis and other characters on the canvas but instead, they decided to do the Sonny/Jason/Sam/Carly squad everyone is sick of seeing. I also don’t get why they keep mentioning Sam’s connection with Jason. Recently, she has had this dream about Jason but she can not see his face??? That is fucking odd. You can say Billy was on vaca but still super weird??? You don’t have to agree with this theory but this is my top one so far. 

This theory might make some mad but I just have to say this...do you really think the writers care if they do twin thing and mess up what Jasam has built for 3 years? Look what they have done to our characters? The choices they have made. Do you think they have been consistent with GH history? No. I know a lot like the nujasam ship but if they don’t care about old gh history and our multidimensional fav characters...why would they care about ruining what nujasam built for 3 years?

2) Steve is Jason’s twin brother So, basically, they are fucking with us and Steve is really Jason’s twin brother but also is connected to Franco. It could also be he is very dangerous and Helena/Cassadine's fucked him up somehow.

3) Steve is Franco’s twin brother.

Again, they are fucking with us. We have to think about Franco’s obsession and why he got obsessed with Jason. What if Steve is really Franco’s twin brother but he is just like a Jason 2.0? However, he is more dangerous or a character who is morally gray or even evil. They could do that to us. I do wonder why Sam would have a lot of scenes with Franco twin brother tho...but if you think about this, this man has her husbands old face. It will spark a lot of old memories. It's possible Sam and other characters can’t help to gravitate toward Steve character cuz he has OG Jason face. I got say IF this theory is true, kinda feel bad for Franco. His twin brother pops up and has Jason’s old face. You know how Liz is and omg what if he gets a redemption arc y’all. XD

4) A host on Afterbuzz tv GH said this. What if Franco, Jason, Billy!Jason are triplets. Honestly, I would lmao, however, I would not care that much. I do not want Franco to be a Quartermaine but...I can’t lose the Jason/Alan connection so if we got do it...just do it...I guess...I will take Jason and Billy being Q’s even tho I have to deal with Franco being a Quartermaine and prob coming in randomly like he use to do and trying to be like I want what I was supposed to have along and blah.

5) Steve is Jason but he is brainwashed to think he is Nik.

This is actually an interesting one someone on twitter came up with. If he and Billy are twins and Helena is behind this (WHICH COME ON Y’ALL WE KNOW SHE IS! SHE CURSED SAM! SHE WOULD DO THIS TO SAM) she would actually do to real Jason what she did to Jake Doe. She brainwashed him to do her dirty work then was like your Jake Doe but I guess also put Jason Morgan memories in him. Deceiving him again. Making him think he is this other man. I know people will be like this makes 0 sense but you got to remember that Jason didn’t delve deep in what he remembered. Yeah, he shared some memories with Sam, Carly, Sonny, Michael...but those are known memories...memories people prob know about Jason...like...it sounds crazy and like a conspiracy theory but...you never know. 

So, going back to if Steve is Jason this means he is super fucked up and thinks he is Nik. That is why he reacted to Ava. He will prob go back to PC and be like I am Nik and everyone will be like WTF HE HAS JASON’S FACE. Which now could make sense why Kelly is having a lot of scenes with Billy and Steve. Sam will totally be on this case and Billy will be on the case too with Curtis trying to see what the fuck is going on but what they find out will change everything most likely…

Also, this means that Steve might make a connection with Ava and other characters IF he believes that he is Nik. Could Steve and Ava hook up? Probably.

6) Someone said that Frank said that no one has guessed this SL right yet...which means this shit is going to go past Steve is just Jason or they twins bs. It's gonna be some crazy messy SL.

That is what I have so far. If someone has anything different, share with me. I am also just throwing ideas out there too cuz I feel like I have an idea and my brain is going towards 1) but I don’t trust these writers...

[gadgetsrevv]

Toe Poke Daily: Messi accepts Ronaldo’s dinner invitation

Cristiano Ronaldo notched his 10th 4-goal game for both club and country in Portugal’s 5-1 win over Lithuania.

The Serie Awesome podcast crew provide their grades on Juve’s summer dealings, where questions arise over keeping “dead weight” players.

As Barcelona’s stuttering start continued with a 2-2 draw at Osasuna, Steve Nicol is still baffled they’re struggling even without Lionel Messi.

The Toe Poke Daily is here every day to bring you all the weirdest stories, quirkiest viral content and top trolling that the internet has to offer, all in one place.

Jump to: Barcelona’s new kit inspired by Ronaldo — no, not that one | Kevin-Prince Boateng admits to buying three cars in one day

Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo could be sharing a table for two soon.

Barcelona star Lionel Messi has accepted an invitation to dinner from his great rival, Juventus forward Cristiano Ronaldo.

While the pair were sat next to each other in the front row at last month’s UEFA Champions League draw in Monaco, Ronaldo revealed that, despite sharing the stage at many gala events for over a decade, they had never broken bread together.

“We have a good relationship, we have not had a dinner together yet, but I hope in the future,” Ronaldo said, to much applause from the star-studded audience.

Well, it could happen. In a rare interview with Sport this week, Messi was pressed on his relationship with Ronaldo after his eternal rival extended an olive branch across the divide.

“We’re not friends because we have never shared the same dressing room, but we always meet up at the galas, we speak and there is absolutely no problem between us,” the Argentina captain said. “That last one [the UEFA Champions League draw gala] was the one where we spoke the most because we spent the most time together.

“I don’t know if we will eat together because both of us have busy lives and I’m not sure if we will be able to make them coincide, but I have no problem accepting his invite to dinner.”

Nice try, Leo, but you’re not wriggling out of this social commitment that easily.

– Marcotti Why do Messi and Ronaldo fans always fight?

It makes you wonder what would be on the menu when they finally make it to their table for two — La Pulga wheat? “Siiiiuu!!” bass? Jamaican curry GOAT?

Messi was also asked by Sport if he ever gets tired of being, well, Lionel Messi. The five-time Ballon d’Or winner refuses to grumble about any aspect of his life, even when he’s being routinely approached by fans while not exactly looking his best on the early morning school run.

“No, I don’t get tired. Thankfully, I experience many strange and impressive things and that is very nice,” came the reply. “It’s true that I would like to be unnoticed. Especially when I’m with my children at school or on the streets.

“At times I take them to school at 8:30 am and I’m asked [by fans] if they can have an autograph or take a picture with me and I’m looking very sleepy. But anyway, I cannot complain about anything.”

– ESPN fantasy soccer: Sign up now! – Luck Index: Could City have won title by more? – ESPN Ultimate XI: Our dream team would win it all!

Barcelona’s new kit inspired by Ronaldo — no, not that one

Barcelona have turned to one of their former greats as inspiration for their new third kit.

– All the new 2019-20 kits for Europe’s top clubs

While his time at the Camp Nou was brief, Ronaldo scored 47 goals in 49 appearances for Barca during the 1997-98 season to secure himself a place among the club’s myriad legends.

As a nod to O Fenomeno, the Catalans have brought back the iconic teal strip that became synonymous with the World Cup-winning Brazil forward.

– Can you guess XI on Kompany’s City debut? – ‘Disrespectful!’: Stars angry at FIFA 20 ratings – Maradona’s unveiling at new club got pretty wild

Kevin-Prince Boateng admits to buying three cars in one day

Kevin-Prince Boateng — you might see him in a Lambo.

Kevin-Prince Boateng has revealed he once bought three cars in one day during his largely ill-fated stint at Tottenham early in his career. The Ghana international endured two turbulent seasons at White Hart Lane which culminated in him being sold on to Portsmouth at a loss in 2009.

Looking back, Boateng admits that his behaviour was “idiotic” but that it was a result of him being a lonely young footballer with large amounts of disposable income and lots of free time to spend it as he pleased.

“I was an idiot. I didn’t treat football as a job,” the 32-year-old told La Repubblica. “I had talent, but I trained the bare minimum, an hour on the field. I was the last to arrive and the first to leave. I’d be out with friends.

“I had money, I lived like a king. I’d never been to the gym. That changes your later career. I bought three cars in one day when I was at Tottenham: a Lamborghini, a Hummer and a Cadillac.”

Boateng — who counts Barcelona, AC Milan and Borussia Dortmund among his 11 clubs — offered a few choice words of warning for young players today who find themselves in danger of drifting off course.

The midfielder, now at Fiorentina, said: “To the youngsters, I tell them: ‘You cannot buy happiness.’ I didn’t play, I had family problems, I was out of the squad.

“I was looking for happiness in material things: a car makes you happy for a week. I bought three to be happy for three weeks.”

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[league-of-light]

2019 What’s the Weekly Challenge Rankings Week 1 Weekly Challenge What Is It IDP Flex Weekly Challenge? Rankings

What’s up YouTubers it’s the Will + Dyl show back at it again with another set of power rankings. And by Will + Dyl back at it again I mean Dylan back at it again while I incoherently ramble nonsensical garbage next to him. We’re off to a great start. Per usual, Dylan will provide his EXPERT level statistical analysis of players and teams, and I’ll pick some stupid meme to run with. This week we’re going with Super Smash Bros because Banjo Kazooie just dropped and it’s the only light in my life outside of Ace and Dairy Delight. Anyway, take it away Dylan.

__________________________________________________

Howdy folks! It’s been a while. I’ve wanted to get back into writing Power Rankings, but it seemed like a bad idea. I haven’t followed football late in the 2017-2018 season, and honestly, I have no idea what’s going on. But Will has convinced me that it doesn’t matter, and that I can do these anyway. So without further ado, here are my power rankings, based on what I understand about the league from almost two years ago. 

11. Cleveland Browns

The Browns have been the worst organization in football for about 15 years. Last I checked, this team was losing every single game, finishing the season 0-16. And now it seems that Josh Gordon DeShone Kizer aren’t even there anymore? This team has no shot. I don’t know who this Daniel Jones fellow is, but hopefully he can help; otherwise, this team is primed for a lot of losses. 

Super Smash Bros character: Pichu. If you’ve played Smash Bros, you know that Pichu has nearly the same moveset (if not the same exact moves, sue me Evan I don’t use Pichu) as Pikachu. The only difference is, anytime Pichu attacks, it also hurts itself. Just like me, every time I look at this stupid gimmick team I decided to go with instead of actually trying to win free money.

10. Honedge Heroes

Antonio Brown AND Le’Veon Bell? I’m not a fan of taking the two Steelers, who will steal touches from each other. Brandin Cooks is great, and I like Derrick Henry, but I’ve never even heard of half of this team. This team should suspend any hope they had of being a contender. 

Smash Bro: R.O.B. Rob is a robot, so is Dylan.  I am reminded about a thing I read today on Reddit about a robot. It was written by Douglas Adams. Please hold while I find the quote:

A robot was programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches. This was actually the most difficult part of the whole experiment. Once the robot had been programmed to believe that it liked herring sandwiches, a herring sandwich was placed in front of it. Where upon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich! I like herring sandwiches. It would then bend over and scoop up the herring sandwich in its herring sandwich scoop, and then straighten up again. Unfortunately for the robot, it was fashioned in such a way that the action of straightening up caused the herring sandwich to slip straight back off its herring sandwich scoop and fall on to the floor in front of the robot. Whereupon the robot thought to itself, Ah! A herring sandwich...etc., and repeated the same action over and over again. The only thing that prevented the herring sandwich from getting bored with the whole damn business and crawling off in search of other ways of passing the time was that the herring sandwich, being just a bit of dead fish between a couple of slices of bread, was marginally less alert to what was going on than was the robot.

^ This is Dylan, and the herring sandwich is the New York Mets.

9. Cursed Will

It’s tough to rank the team with the best player in football (Aaron Rodgers) this low. But Jordy Nelson is getting up there in years, so I’m not sure how good Rodgers receivers will be. 

Super Mash Potato: King K. Rool.  Dylan had a pretty fire one for this, so I’ll let him take it away:

IT’S NICE THAT AFTER YEARS OF FREELOADING IN SMASH GAMES AS A TROPHY AND A STICKER, KING K. ROOL FINALLY DECIDED TO CONTRIBUTE AND BE PART OF THE SMASH ROSTER. THIS DOESN’T HELP ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO SPENT YEARS WITH THE EARLIER SMASH GAMES, BUT I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY THAT NOW THAT HE’S OLD AND IRRELEVANT, HE FINALLY DECIDED TO BE USEFUL.

For those who don’t know, Evan now pays rent. For those who also don’t know, Evan and King K. Rool are both thousands of years old, have leathery skin, and eat Taco Bell every other day. Also, check out this screenshot of K Rool from when Banjo was announced, it’s literally the most Evan photo on the internet.

8. Float Like a… Whine Like AB

I’m not sure why they have Alex Smith’s backup at QB. Davante Adams and Michael Thomas are great, but Mark Ingram seems to be their only competent RB. Maybe they’ll get Alex Smith and find a way to contend. Otherwise, I’m not really sure what this team is doing. 

Smush - Donkey Kong. For those of you who don't know, Donkey Kong got his name because Nintendo wanted to convey that the ape was stubborn, so they picked the most stubborn animal they could think of. Or at least that’s how the story goes. That alone would be fitting enough for Jason, but really he gets DK because of DK’s affinity to charge up a punch and wiff on it, only to CHARGE UP AGAIN LATER.

7. tbt to K88 being platonic

I’m glad to see Larry Fitzgerald is still around, and they have Andrew Luck’s long-time favorite target Eugene Hilton. Ben Roethlisberger could have a huge year with the talent on that Pittsburgh offense, and Alvin Kamara is great. Still, I’d expect Devonta Freeman to split carries again, and the Bills’ defense can’t be very good. 

Super Dunk - Young Link.  Young Link has been out of the Smash Brothers games for over a decade which is almost as long as Harnsowl has been out of America.  Also, YL can drink a seemingly endless amount of Lon Lon Milk, just like Harnsowl with alcohol. 

6. Spicy Meatballs

From what I’ve been told, James White should be the best RB in football by now. I’ll take Phil’s word for this. And Drew Brees is awesome. But I’m not sure about the rest of the team. JuJu Smith-Schuster will have trouble getting touches over the Killer B’s, and all I know about Anthony Miller is that he was a mediocre NBA player in the 90’s who had a brief cameo in Space Jam. Tough to see this team doing well if they can’t improve on that depth. 

Super Meesh Pepe - Samus. Another soulless human robot thingamabob whose only purpose is to watch the New York Mets. Dark Samus for when the Mets lose. So I guess always Dark Samus?

5. No Content

I don’t know if Kyler Murray is actually good, but I’m expecting a big year out of Eric Decker. And the Colts QB has always loved throwing to TE’s, so Eric Ebron should have a huge year. A definite sleeper who might take the league by storm.

Supper Dinner Brother - Lil Mac.  Dylan beat me to it again:

I respect the effort that they put into making Little Mac a better character. They improved his aerial gameplay and his recovery, and made a bunch of other improvements. It must have taken them, like, 12 weeks of work! But, despite all that effort, he’s still in a low tier and can’t compete with the stronger characters.

Honestly, the biggest difference here is that Lil Mac definitely never skips leg day (see photo)

But apparently Kyle has been for the past 84 days.

4. Shit Outta Luck

For some reason, their team page says that they dropped Andrew Luck, but I’m going to assume that there’s some kind of issue in the database that will be resolved shortly. I’m assuming some team that already had a franchise QB took Saquon Barkley at a completely reasonable pick in the draft, and he’s doing great there. And Mike Evans is a star. Once Andrew Luck is re-added to the roster, this team can be a real contender.

Smash Bros Character - N/A. Dylan, Who’s fuckin team is this?

3. I’m Still Here Bitches

A shockingly strong showing for Team Arielle. David Johnson, from what I recall, is the best RB in football. Julio Jones is awesome. Dak Prescott is pretty good, although honestly, I still think Tony Romo is better. Damien Williams might not get a ton of carries in KC, but I still think this team could go a long way.

Daisy. Daisy doesn’t belong in Smash (yeah, I said it Andy), and Arielle doesn’t belong in the league

2. Team Mar

The squad from the 845 is looking very strong. Two superstar WR’s in Alshon Jeffrey and Keenan Allen, a perennial MVP candidate in Matt Ryan, and two top 5 caliber RB’s in Leonard Fournette and Christian McCaffrey? I have no idea how this roster is even possible.

Mashed Potato: Joker.  I honestly know nothing about you, just like I know nothing about this anime (?) character who is in Super Smash Brothers. His name is Joker but he’s clearly not from Gotham and your instagram handle is Marisa845 and you’re clearly not from the 845 otherwise Bowers would’ve remembered seeing you at South. He knows everyone who went to South.

1. Venice Beach Hulkamaniacks 

Now here’s a team of people I recognize. A.J. Green? Trey Burton? Melvin Gordon? Shady McCoy? DION LEWIS? I honestly don’t see how things could possibly go wrong with that kind of talent. This team shouldn’t lose a single game. And there you have it. Hopefully by next week, I will have learned a little bit about the modern NFL and can take a better stab at these, but hopefully this helps get you excited for another great season of the NATIONAL! FOOTBALL! LEAGUE! Back to you Boom.

Smash Boo: King Dedede. The people’s champ. The Penguin with the Hammer.  Just like Kirby, King Dedede can suck in opponents.  Just like Bowers, if those opponents taste like carbs, he will not swallow them. King Dedede has an unrelenting hammer akin to Bowers’ unrelenting trade offers for LeShady McCoy, and had this other game where he got swol af just like Bowers is gonna be at the end of his journey. At least his 12 week journey has seen results. 

Also, I’m genuinely unsure if Bowers wrote this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jibCSdZ8xG0 

73. Andy Brown

A late addition that we had to shoehorn in here even though they don’t belong in the Power Rankings.

[andrewuttaro]

Alternative History: The Rhinos made it to Major League Soccer!

I used to have a blog called Rhinos Outsider. This post is meant to be a more fun one harkening back to those days… earlier this year. Back then I wrote these pointed think pieces on the Rhinos past, present and future. I beat the MLS Push phase of the club’s history into the ground including a whole blog post asking if the Rhinos should even want MLS anymore. If you want that material feel free to go back and read it, once I get the blog in order again they should be easier to find. This post will only be like those in format. Part of the fun of those posts were that they involved some speculation and deep thinking about this club. As I try to be a more cerebral blogger these days I thought some good old speculation would be a fun break.

What if the Rochester Rhinos made Major League Soccer? What if the big 2000s MLS push that bankrupt the club’s original owners was somehow successful? I’ll be taking some creative liberties and changing history to imagine how it might have happened. I know it didn’t and this is not me continuing to beat the dead horse. No, as you read on you’ll see why this is not a frantic love letter to this country’s top-flight. In fact, this piece maybe a cautionary tale about how MLS has grown and does business. What could have actually happened if a few things were different? Maybe not as much as we think. I’ll change some turning points in the real story and once we diverge to Rochester reaching Major League Soccer I’m going to go off to the races! It’s speculation of course but its also supposed to be a little fun if you know the real story… or if you just know Major League Soccer.

With no further ado, let’s get to the fun!

Where it all went wrong…

The stadium building delay still happens. PAETEC Park is still funded with a large aid package from New York State and the original owners still go financially insolvent, it just plays out differently. First things first, that fateful night when Don Garber and the Major League Soccer bigwigs demanded a full payment of the expansion fee goes differently. Our OG owners don’t get cold feet: they take out yet another loan, this time from a different bank, and pay them their money. That decisive night goes Rochester’s way instead. That payment turned out to be everything the league needed! Even after the 2006 opening of PAETEC Park went just as haphazardly as it did in our timeline MLS and the National Federation granted the organization a three-year waiver period from the stadium standards they were not yet up to.

The first of those waiver years in Major League Soccer is the 2007 season. From the very get go it is clear all is not well in Rochester. After a very underwhelming MLS season the team does not even come close to the playoffs: the first time the team misses’ their league’s playoffs in club history. The Rhinos also suffer their worst loss in club history losing a spectacular 9-0 decision to New England Revolution. Off field things are worse as the contractors the club enlists to upgrade the new stadium to MLS standards suddenly pull out of the job the week of Halloween. The issue peaks the League Office’s interest and an internal investigation reveals the Rhinos owners are in deep debt overborrowing from three different banks. The scandal embarrasses MLS and Rochester. The club’s owners file for bankruptcy a year earlier than our timeline and the league takes over the team on December 1st, 2007.

With the embarrassment of the league contracting two Florida teams in recent memory Don Garber and MLS resolve to find an owner even after the initial search proves very difficult. Eventually the league turns ownership over to trusted ally Philip Anschutz, a founder of the league with ownership stakes in several teams. Seeking the stability of the league he insists on only holding onto the franchise until its two remaining years of the waiver period is over after the 2009 season. He helps pay for the necessary stadium upgrades and enlists the help of the City of Rochester in finding a new owner in a revamped 2008 owners search. Local grocery store magnate Danny Wegman buys the Rochester Rhinos that year after much insistence from Major League Soccer. Wegman’s purchase corresponds pleasantly with the Rhinos clinching their first MLS Playoff appearance with a comeback victory over downstate rival New York Red Bulls on September 28th, 2008. For a brief moment at the end of the 2008 season it looks like all maybe well with Rochester Rhinos SC.

The Dream Dies

While the Wegman Era starts out with a bang, it trails off from there. The Rochester Rhinos are eliminated in the 2008 Conference Semifinals by Houston Dynamo and fail to qualify for the playoffs in the following season in 2009. By 2012 Major League Soccer is fully in its 2.0 stage; downtown Soccer specific stadiums are the impetus along with spending on foreign talent. The Wegman family becomes notoriously cheap with spending and refuses to take an active role in the franchise as the years go on. Wegman infamously states at an industry conference that the supermarket chain’s expansion into the south is being slowed by “some god-forsaken kickball team”. Wegman’s frustration may have arisen from construction costs. Although his investment allowed the downtown stadium to get up to MLS standards by the end of 2009, by summer 2011 the Rhinos stadium is still undergoing piecemeal projects that needlessly frustrate match attendees.

For the third straight year attendance declines. Average attendance at Rhinos games falls to 10,000 in 2011 before almost cutting in half in 2012 to 5,560. After a local petition to change the team’s name to Rochester Lancers led by local pizza magnate Soccer Sam Fantauzzo fails he exclaims the club is not the same one that won the Open Cup in 1999. Fantauzzo starts a budget team in the amateur ranks by the name Rochester Lancers. The club’s first game in the summer of 2013 draws 3000 fans and turns into a protest of the Rhinos after the conclusion of the match. Meanwhile season ticket holders and box seat purchases at Wegmans Soccer Stadium hit an all-time low and general attendance collapses to a 3200 average in 2013.

For a brief time in the Fall of 2013 there is speculation the owners of the Buffalo Sabres, Terry and Kim Pegula, have interest in buying the MLS organization. While sources deny the rumors it gets out they considered it if they could move the team to Buffalo. Apparently Don Garber was ready to finalize the deal before the Pegulas got distracted by the opportunity to buy the NFL Buffalo Bills. MLS wanted to move the club and switch owners but had no good pretext to do so beyond attendance numbers. Then they got their way. The Wegman family’s growing disinterest in owning the team leads them to default on the lease agreement with the City of Rochester. Knowing the owners do in fact have the money to pay, Rochester moves on MLS in a lawsuit. The suit is settled out of court, but the MLS removes the Wegmans from ownership of the team five years to the day they took over. The league rallies interested ownership groups in other cities and manages to move the club to St. Louis just ahead of the 2014 season.

The City of Rochester is relieved at the departure of the troubled franchise while supporters cry foul. The NPSL Rochester Lancers move into the downtown soccer stadium which is now renamed Salvatore’s Pizza Stadium. After the 2014 NPSL season concludes Sam Fantauzzo announces his club will move to the USL PDL in 2015. After the Lancer’s 2015 season in the PDL the City of Rochester takes over full control of the stadium and kicks the PDL squad out. Ironically, the Rochester Lancers fold after failing to secure another home field due to a perceived connection to the MLS Rhinos. After three years abandoned by the City, the downtown soccer stadium burns to the ground in June 2018 after a mysterious explosion. After gunning for MLS for most of a decade, the Rochester Rhinos are gone from Rochester after only six seasons in that top-flight.

Conclusion

Ha Ha: the first priority here is to laugh. If you’re an avid follower of MLS expansion or lower league soccer you may find some humor in parts of this… or not, I’m no comedian. So why did I write such a nasty alternative history if I am supposedly a Rochester Rhinos supporter? Part of why the Rhinos went downhill in our timeline was the result of a hasty buildup in the MLS push. The financial reality of MLS in the 2000s means that push would only have continued after making the league. Moreover, after David Beckham arrived MLS changed. MLS changed even more as Portland, Seattle and similarly transformative clubs entered the league with plans to make money by actually winning. Rochester, a City still rebounding from decades of diaspora, would simply not have survived in Major League Soccer.

I feel like I should say sorry but no, I’m not sorry. Why our timeline’s Rochester Rhinos are in the situation they are right now has less to do with MLS and more to do with Rochester itself. Sometimes the dreams we think we need are the poison pill that fate saves us from. I truly believe the Rhinos would’ve floundered in MLS and would’ve been a relocation candidate from the word go. In our timeline we have stadium truthers who tell you how they called into sports radio in 2004 warning about the stadium as if that’s not the most obvious flex ever. In the alternative timeline we have St. Louis Soccer fans in Rochester boycotting Wegmans supermarkets because they’re too thick to see the bigger picture.

Soccer in America is still a “pick your poison” affair. If you go with lower league/non-league soccer you have short ass amateur seasons. You go USL, you have all the academy players and none of the prestige. You go MLS… while then you better be a top 50 City population wise with a pretty attentive sugar daddy. I don’t want my team to be on hiatus, and they may only just barely exist now, but they’re here. That’s what I have that alternative history MLS Rochester Rhinos fans don’t have: a club to support in 2019. Well… sorta.

Thanks for reading.