#if this needs any tw tags or anything lmk!!

[uniquezombiedestiny]

I LOVE YOU

[yooniesim]

Hi uh, I hope it's okay to ask, but which creator are you referring to? Because the whole cp thing is kind of a huge accusation and I'm definitely not comfortable with supporting someone who's into that kind of stuff

tianshii88/rentbunny/zhuhaitang/yin-shimo

to be clear it's not csam (real children) it's fictional (drawn & in sims), but they're extremely creepy as a person & remind me of abusers in my past that exposed me to that same fictional material as a child. it's common for those that do have bad intentions to use it to blur the lines/make minors feel like it's normal/okay so that they're easier to groom & abuse. this isn't something that everyone that consumes this content does, obviously, but the amount of times they specifically have had questionable boundaries raises red flags for me. (Having a minor character in a fetish pose in a preview on a blog they specifically allowed minors to follow for cc, defending that by saying the original mangaka posed the character that way first so it was his fault not theirs, having a discord server with a dead dove channel that minors could access & saying it was ok bc they had to use a react role to get in, calling survivors that were uncomfortable with this crybabies, puritans & dumbasses, etc)

I never could finish the full post i was making about them bc it was frankly pretty triggering to me & I was dealing with my father's passing at the time, but I still have the screenshots despite them changing their name multiple times, wiping their blog of everything & changing their pinned to be 18+ only. There's also other people that have called them out for certain things (like the pose incident) before in the past. I'm not saying they're a predator or child abuser, since I know they'll jump to that immediately- but I am saying they're creepy and their history of a lack of solid boundaries between minors & the adult content they consume is irresponsible and unacceptable. I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable having them in the same spaces as minors in this community. I personally blocked them a long time ago when they were rentbunny bc I saw they (as a non-black person) liked posts that were calling me a c*on and telling me to kms, but the full extent of all the rest that was brought to my attention was staggering tbh.

When I figured out they were in my server at the time (members came to me with the proof & said they were uncomfortable/triggered), I banned them silently. They responded by publicly harassing me for weeks and claiming that I had bullied them. They openly admitted they had only been in my server with the aim of baiting people into talking about them, and then posted screenshots of... people saying their cc was too high poly, had too many swatches for their liking, and someone editing the buns off one of their hairs for personal use. And they listed off usernames of people that had never mentioned them/were not active, purely with the goal to get others to attack them. They also mocked me for being in mourning for my father that had just passed, and after I had blocked them continued to make passive aggressive references to my grief. And this isn't even counting all the cc issues, taking money for commissions & ghosting the commissioners for months, and miscellaneous bigotry & bad behavior they've been involved in. This is all now deleted & they changed their username to yin-shimo directly after acting a complete fool towards me. But none of my posts are deleted, and I didn't forget. A lot of other people haven't either. So overall, I think they have bigger issues in their own house to focus on before worrying about someone else's cc dress.

[twoa-plus]

this is not a polished essay it is a giant yap session u have been warned

gotta be at least in the top 3 posts most likely to get me blown up by a missile but why is every depiction of bill & ford’s relationship either “hehe cute/sexy romance >:3c” or platonic psychological horror. why can’t we have both (not the cute/sexy thing, just the romance) like. u guys are aware that Really Really Horrible non-platonic relationships are a thing right. like u guys do know that right

idk i don’t really have words to express this eloquently but this fandom’s fixation on the idea of Romance = Good feels really weird to me. i really really love exploring complicated fucked up characters & their dynamics with each other and it’s just exhausting to not be able to do that without 14 pages of clarification. i know every fandom is like this to some extent i wasn’t born yesterday but it seems ESPECIALLY bad here. and yes imo it IS important to differentiate between a platonic & romantic relationship in this context bc that DOES make the way it reads a little different and that can be an interesting thing to discuss

also while i’m yapping abt things that would get me beat over the head with a shovel, y’all gotta learn that different interpretations doesn’t mean bad interpretations. like using bill & ford as an example:

“this is a good healthy relationship” bad interpretation. do you know how to read

“this is a really fucked up abusive platonic relationship” valid interpretation

“this is a really fucked up abusive romantic relationship” also a valid interpretation

(^does not apply to aus just the Actual Canon Written Text, aus are obv a case-by-case thing)

someone having the second interpretation does not make them homophobic i cannot believe i have to say this. someone having the third interpretation does not mean they support abuse (i actually can believe that i have to say that one at this point)

personally i actually don’t really care either way between the second and third i just wish we as a collective could have one (1) interesting and nuanced conversation about their dynamic & what led to it & all that stuff without spending 75% of the time just clarifying the opinion of “abuse is bad” it is so fucking tiring

anyways. fiddauthor truthers rise let’s all beat bill cipher to death with hammers

[tacticalhimbo]

PALE STATIC EXCHANGE... 2! Posting this a bit early, but I'm very excited to have been able to dip my toes into @palestaticexchange this time around! It's very cool to see how alive the Disco Elysium fandom is.

That said, this piece is for @glitch-critter , who asked for "stuff relating to HDB's experience/psyche, especially with regards to electrochemistry/addiction".

WORDS: 2.3K

I really liked the prompts provided, and I thought it would be cool to kind of explore how relapse and recovery can manifest in forms different than the baseline addiction. As such, it would seem Harry has found himself over-correcting himself in regard to his work...

I hope you do enjoy it <3

Also, let me know if you’d like a more permanent copy of this, too! I’m always happy to provide a PDF version of the writings I do :3

Coastal winds were much tamer as they rolled through the densely packed buildings of Central Jamrock, only just able to sustain themselves as they lapped around the perimeter of Precinct 41. Harry wouldn't be here, if not for Kim. It was he who'd defended him to Vicquemare. He who'd attested to the idea that Harry could get better, with a little guidance and a lot of patience. He who'd truly believed in him, despite everything they faced. Creeping along his senses was the smell of blood shed by belief and held together by vengeance. Remnants of a decades' long war, and its lasting effects on the human psyche—both those that were in tact, and those that were already fragmented—as the world evolved around them. The stillness of the air was dry, just as was the mouth of the disco detective who'd found himself falling into familiar habit. Eat, sleep, work, party—

[LOGIC] No, not anymore. You've given that up now.

[VOLITION] You are a changed man. Or so you would like to have others believe.

Harry is a changed man, or so he would like others to believe. He would like to believe it.

Yet the familiar dryness that consumed Harry did not feel changed. Nor did the aching that settled into his musculature, drawing the thickened fibers back like that of a bowstring, arming them—arming him—to snap at a moment's notice. His stomach felt a familiar sickness. One that had consumed him during the infancy stages of the Martinaise investigation. A horrific hangover, but this one was different. It was dry. He was dry. And that irritated him. Thick brows knitted as his psyche wandered to the idea, briefly leaning into the comforting embrace of familiarity of outrage. It was easier, after all, to be mad at the circumstance than to navigate it. But… It didn't feel right. No, he wasn't angry about it. Perhaps a part of him was. But Harry? Him? He was uncertain. Afraid. Every time he wet his lips in consideration, he knew he would not be able to stop himself. Not when—

[ELECTROCHEMISTRY] It's a miracle you even lasted this long. It's like something has snapped in you—a nerve ending. You've lost yourself, Harry. Truly, lost yourself. And god knows how long it will take you to come back this time.

The subtle emphasis makes his skin crawl as his head shakes, hands pausing to linger under the chilled water pouring forth into the sink basin. He sighed, looking to the dingy mirror before him.

Through the speckles of old debris and matted dust, and past the droplets of dew that form with the arterial spray of the sink's faucet (a sign that the mechanism, much like the rest of the restroom, is in need of repair; it has been for as long as one can remember), the visage that greets Harry is… healthier. It invokes a sense of pride not too dissimilar to when he'd first whispered his name—the one he had chosen, not the one he was given—and truly seen himself for the first time. Like the waves, it swelled briefly before crashing down. Fell upon the invariable signs of his past habits. Like looking through the bottom of a liquor-filled glass, it was hazy; a deluge of desperation and need encapsulated by bloatedness and swollenness. Sat neatly among the discolored planes. Pallid skin darkened and reddened as the blood vessels beneath the skin remained agape, prepared for consumption.

[ENCYCLOPEDIA] Telangiectasia. Small blood vessels sat near the skin's surface. It is natural for them to sit so high, but normally they remain unseen until there is an increase in blood flow.

[INLAND EMPIRE] Recall how one's features become rosy when hearts begin to flutter, or how the sun's warmth seems to sit upon the apples of one's cheeks like a comforting blanket.

[DRAMA] There is an art to this.

[LOGIC] There is not. This is a different sort of happenstance. The events that have led to your flushed appearance are not a simple point of life, nor something to be proud of.

But it is, a simple point of life. Accentuation of Harry's simple existence. It is not something he can change, especially as that nausea begins to grow in his gut. His mouth feels full of cotton; his body so writhe with tension that he begins to tremble and grow dizzy. His nose feels like a small balloon in the middle of his face. His tongue feels swollen and snail-like, floundering about amidst tainted teeth as trembling hands cusp beneath the faucet and draw splashes of water toward his lips.

[ELECTROCHEMISTRY] Drink, but it will not replace what you need. No, this is nothing, brother. The best cure for a disease like this is indulgence. Morphine, cigarettes, rum… You need them again. You will not survive without them. This? This is—

[COMPOSURE] Embarrassing.

[AUTHORITY] Weak. How do you expect anybody to take you seriously? Nobody would listen to someone so pathetic.

The taunts were met with the sound of the door slamming; a minute signal in the grand scheme of things. It went unnoticed by those in the wing's hallway. To them, it was business as usual. If not Harry, then Satellite-Officer Vicquemare. If not Vicquemare, then Captain Pryce.

[RHETORIC] The police aren't there to mess up; the police are there to preserve the mess.

[ENCYCLOPEDIA] Says the professor of Ecole Normale de Revachol. Someone has been reading in his spare time.

[LOGIC] Or simply observing with a clear mind.

[ESPIRIT DE CORPS] This is a dangerous line of thinking to be falling down. Your past airing of grievances with the RCM has earned you several stern talkings to. In his office, Captain Pryce grimaces at the clutched papers in his aging hands.

[RHETORIC] It was addiction that saved you. Easier to blame the abstract than to examine the system.

A shiver. Harry wasn't the only one struggling. He knew that, even before his days of total sobriety. This sort of culture was normalized; expected of its officers. Many of his habits he fell into through the hands of his coworkers, even if they were not his introduction to the idea. Of course, things were different now. After his outburst, and the disaster in Martinaise, the RCM began cracking down on the use of substances among its officers. Many, like Harry, suddenly found themselves thrust into the true responsibility of duty. Conscious and aware to the severity of their workloads. Many quit. Many more fell into old habits and were systemically demoted until the work no longer supported their needs. And those, like Harry, leaned into the work. Buried themselves in mountains of paperwork chasing that adrenaline-fueled high by doing something—anything—to feel alive.

Yet they never did. Harry never did.

Time blurred past and he was, effectively, the same old corpse he always was. A puppet of the RCM's agenda. The failed Dick Mullen. The swaying body strung from the rafters, dancing along to the fluttering shimmer of the disco ball.

Then, there is nothing. Only warm, primordial blackness. An inordinate amount of time passes, not even measurable by the distant, rhythmic technological beeps.

[PERCEPTION] Hospital monitors? No. Alarms. An alarm.

[LOGIC] It must be morning. We should get up.

[VOLITION] We shouldn't. We can't. It's much too difficult.

The soft rustling of sheets.

[PAIN THRESHOLD] Easy…

Muscles ache and the silence is inevitably broken by a low groan. Sunlight filters in through dusted curtains, particles coming to fill the air as a heavy hand finds itself upon the alarm clock beside him. Equally heavy feet find the floor, though remain unable to hold the body above them. In a quick sequence, Harry finds himself on the floor, slumped and slouched in an all too familiar position. The aches stop, albeit briefly. Like a fly to the ointment, his conscience sticks to it. Chases it as the limbed and headed machine of pain and undignified suffering awakens itself once more. He is on his feet again, cotton cloth sliding across the floor as his body wills itself to the bathroom.

A mirror hangs above a bent, not broken, sink. Languid hands find themselves upon the faucet, though are gentler in the way they manipulate it. Hot water sprays from the stem and steam covers the mirror. Harry cannot see himself, just the outline of a man.

[CONCEPTUALIZATION] There is an irony in seeing the image. It was not always like this.

[VOLITION] Those days are long gone, now.

Cloth falls from the man's frame, though it remains obscured by the apparatus before him. He slowly reaches his hand toward the surface of the mirror…

[INLAND EMPIRE] You're certain you wish to do this? You may not like what you see there.

[HARRY] I don't care.

A deft motion. The condensation on the reflective surface gives under the palm that wipes it, leaving in its path a clear view to the tired visage that stares back. To the naked, pallid flesh that rolls from a slumped frame. Hair highlights various pathways, traveling down between taped and tucked mounds and rolling along the rumbling stomach, and continuing through the fog and beyond the sink's barrier. It traverses the adhesive edges of Harry's binding (he's still thankful he has learned this alternative; not only does it keep his natural form, but it allows him to wear his shirts open with pride) and over his shoulders. Down thick arms to the bruised knuckles that hold the porcelain lip of the sink. It flutters out, then reappears upon his rounded jaw, mutton chops growing thickened around his lips. He's due for a shave, but a part of him enjoys this rugged look. It's… different. He's different.

He's happy.

[COMPOSURE] You're exhausted.

[SAVOIR FAIRE] You've dropped the toothbrush. Again. Your hands feel foreign to your own body.

His eyes follow dirt-stained grout lines down to the floor, only to find that sad little toothbrush dried beside the trash bin. He's exhausted. Creaking and groaning, Harry bends to discard the brush; opts to simply swish some mouthwash and try not to think of the burning sensation that draws his nose to scrunch and his eyes to water. He does it twice. Perhaps to mask the fact he has not properly brushed and will have to save that act for after his shift. Perhaps because he feels he deserves the ache; it invigorates him. Begins to bring him back to life and pull him from the vice grip weariness holds on him.

But it isn't enough.

Not as he washes himself in the shower, nearly tripping over the tub's lip as he climbs out afterward. Nor as he finds himself slumped against the wardrobe door, idly flipping through his clothing options and looking for his RCM jacket.

[PERCEPTION] It… should be here. Why isn't it here? Don't tell me we've lost it again.

[LOGIC] Nonsense. We brought it home. It is here, just not put away.

It's not enough as he waits for the toast to pop from its apparatus, where the sudden click and ding nearly makes him crawl out of his skin. Coffee spills on his shirt, bringing him back to the wardrobe once more, digging around for a new shirt and tie. Back to the kitchen. New coffee in his cup. Butter and jam on cooling bread. Crumbs dust his facial hair, only unsettled from their rest when he reaches to scratch a persistent itch. It is then when the realization clicks.

He's exhausted. He is unmoving. Those early morning aches have not been shaken, and have in fact only worsened with his moving through the morning routine. His mind has been quieter; nearly absent. He can barely recall what he's done and what he hasn't, with the only clues being the visible changes in his appearance that signify—at the very least—that he's done the basics and cleaned himself. But that's just it. If he can't even recall this, how in the world could he find himself responsible for the safety of others. How could he find himself amidst the greater world around him, with dozens of eyes on him—some pleading, some scrutinizing?

He'd done it before, under worse circumstances… but he wasn't that kind of animal anymore. He didn't want to be that kind of animal anymore.

Which is why, with a swaying physique and a hoarseness in his voice, he found himself on the phone with whichever unfortunate soul would find themselves on the other end of the line. Unfortunate, not for taking in his call-in, but for having to present it to Vicquemare and Pryce.

[ESPIRIT DE CORPS] Early morning ire. Slender knuckles knock on the door to ask permission to enter; it is granted. From his throne, Pryce sneers at the individual before him. His brow twitches, his posture stiffens.

[CAPTAIN PRYCE] What the hell do you mean he called out?

[ESPIRIT DE CORPS] A pregnant pause. The avoidance of eye contact.

[UNKNOWN] He just did… Said something about feeling under the weather.

[ESPIRIT DE CORPS] The response was faint. Nearly whispered as the other end of the reigning duo entered with a stack of papers.

[JEAN VICQUEMARE] Who called out?

[CAPTAIN PRYCE] Your star pupil.

[ESPIRIT DE CORPS] Jean's posture slackens and he sneers. It's evident the sarcastic jab was more than enough to clue him in. Yet there is a subtleness in his eyes that almost suggests concern. He sets the papers on Pryce's desk then walks out without another word.

Shoulders slump and a ragged sigh escapes as Harry undoes his tie and discards it, absentmindedly tossing it to the coffee table. His shirt follows as he sinks into the comfortable contour of the couch. Tired eyes slip shut, coaxing the surrounding musculature to relax and begin a rippling effect. He melts, and for once he can feel the day passing.

And for once, he does not care. He deserves this rest, and nothing can convince him otherwise.

[newsies-united]

haha i remember last year when there were two gun threats and a bomb threat at my school. i remember being fucking terrified to go to school for a week. i remember my brother going to seventh grade and my first thought being how do i help him if there's a real gun threat. this country is bullshit

[ohseumi]

i'm not an aroha i never really have been but i heard about fly and now i am crying

[joelmillers-wife]

take my hand (joel miller x f!reader) chapter ten

18+, MDNI series masterlist: here | please check this for complete series warnings and tags | 🎵series playlist pairing: joel miller x f!reader chapter summary: conversations with joel and ellie help you after the events of the previous day  wc: 15k rating: this story is 18+ (minors, do not interact), there will be explicit smut in later chapters  chapter warnings and tags: cursing and tlou lore accurate outbreak content below, TW: topics discussing SA, trauma, vague mentions of ellie’s experience with david, tons of fluff, reader has no description besides she has hair and can be lifted, small mention of reader’s life before the outbreak, jackson!joel, age difference: reader is in her 30s and joel is in his 50s, sloooow burn spoiler tags… hehehehe, explicit smut, kissing, praise kink, dirty talk, oral (f!receiving), fingering, unprotected piv sex (unrealistic i know ok i’m just a girl with a breeding kink and a disinterest in getting pregnant alright sue me AND USE PROTECTION), soft!joel, joel talks you through it, begging?, creampie, aftercare, loss of virginity/first time, virgin!reader but not infantilizing, lmk if i missed anything!! a/n: sorry this took longer than i wanted! trying to edit while having a fever was not ideal and for obvious reasons… this chapter needed my full brain capacity to make perfect. my first time writing smut so i hope i did it justice. enjoy <3 ao3 | follow @writtenbynic and turn on notifications for chapters! dividers made by: @saradika-graphics , check them out!

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X. LIGHTNING CRASHES

I can feel it coming back again Like a rolling thunder chasing the wind Forces pulling from the center of the Earth again I can feel it

The following morning, you wake to the sounds of soft chatter downstairs and the smell of fresh eggs. When you open your eyes, squinting as you look around your room, you are capable of holding on to the ten seconds of peaceful bliss before you remember the events that occurred the previous day. It wasn’t a nightmare. It was real.

It’s an effort to blink the groggy feeling out of your eyes, turning in your bed to look towards your bedroom door that is still left partly open, left just as it was the night before by Joel. Focusing on your staircase, your ears pick up the voices you had heard—Joel and Tommy.

“... Came by to check how you both were doin’, didn’t find ya at your house,” you hear from Tommy.

“Stayed here for the night. Slept on her couch…”

Their voices fade away as they speak in hushed tones. You will yourself to get out of bed, glancing at the small radio clock on your bedside table that tells you it was noon. Jesus… you can’t remember a time sleeping in so late, even when your body was pushed past the point of exhaustion.

A piece of you wants to stay in bed for eternity and let the warmth and safety under the blankets take over you, but that isn’t you. You’ve dealt with horrors in this world—both from infected and from humans. You’d get past this. You’d move on. You know this, because you have in the past many times. It doesn’t make the feeling disappear, though.

Moving around your room, you hear the soft bang of your front door closing, signaling to you that Tommy has left. You make your way over to your bathroom, feet dragging behind you as you trudge your way across the carpeted floor. Your hand reaches out to flip the light switch and you come face to face with your mirror. With yourself.

The injuries shock you. Purple splotches cloud over your arms from where hands had grabbed at you, gripping you tightly. A small, thin line across your throat from the edge of the knife that pressed into your skin as you struggled, but not deep enough to cause a scar. Your eyes are heavy—red and puffy from tears and exhaustion. The only thing that doesn’t look disastrous is your hair, making you thankful that you washed away and worked through any knots or blood that may have been left in it.

No wonder Joel had looked at you the way he did last night.

You shake away the memory as best as you can, splashing cold water on your face before you head downstairs where the sounds of food sizzling in a pan travel from the kitchen and to your ears—the smell of breakfast foods being made becoming stronger as you reach the last step. Your footsteps softly pad across the wood floors, heading for the kitchen but stopping at your couch. A slight indent of a large body is left in the cushions with blankets neatly folded on one end of the couch. The sight makes you feel something you’re too hesitant to name, and you let yourself merely drag your fingertips across the back of the couch as you continue walking further into your home.

Reaching the kitchen, you lean on the edge of the archway and see Joel’s back to you as he flips eggs in your frying pan. You notice fresh orange juice in a pitcher on your small kitchen table that sits against one wall, space for three—something you didn’t think you needed when you first moved here that became something you were grateful for as the chairs were filled more often than not. 

You mutter a soft greeting to make Joel aware of your presence. He jumps slightly and turns around, a shocked laugh leaving him. “Jesus, didn’t even hear ya, darlin’.”

“Sorry, I just woke up and smelled food, so…”

He shakes his head lightly at you. “Nothin’ to say sorry for. I woke up a bit ago. Decided to make us some food ‘cause I figured you would be up soon.”

He quirks his head as if he remembers something and looks at you with a wince. “Hope I didn’t wake you up with Tommy. He stopped by to check in with us and see how you were holdin’ up.”

“You didn’t, don’t worry,” you reassure him. A small smile grows on your face before you’re able to stop it, his consideration of you making you feel lighter. “Feels weird waking up this late but… I feel a little better.”

His eyes are big and round in momentary surprise until his features smooth out to match your smile. “I’m glad.”

“How’d you sleep? Couch okay?”

Joel laughs and turns back to continue cooking. “Couch ain’t the worst thing I’ve slept on. I’ve never been the best sleeper so it just took a sec to pass out. Think just sleepin’ under the same roof as you gave me some peace more than anythin’.”

His head jerks in the direction of a coffee pot in one corner of your kitchen counters, his voice kicking up in slight excitement. “Oh, got some coffee started for us. Why don’t you sit down and we’ll eat for a bit.”

Joel turns the stove off, leaving the pan on the hot circle to let it finish cooking. As you push your body off the doorframe, he makes his way over to the table to pull out a chair for you and beckons you to sit. You make your way over to sit and eye him as he moves with fluidity through your kitchen space, grabbing plates from the cupboards and filling two of them with eggs and toast, bringing them over to you and setting each of them in front of your respective chairs.

He fills up glasses of orange juice and coffee for the both of you, which you graciously accept, taking a drink from your orange juice as you begin to eat and setting the warm coffee mug in one corner of the table.

You both eat silently for a few minutes until Joel quips up with, “Tommy said he wants you off for a few days, take some time for yourself. If you want somethin’ to do, there’s some help that could be needed ‘round town.”

You nod, feeling grateful instead of protesting against the offer. For once you want to stay home for as long as they’d allow. “How about you?”

Joel swallows a large gulp of coffee before he responds. “Same, essentially. M’okay to go back on patrol…” 

His words trail off when he sees your eyes go slightly wide before you can help yourself, but he’s quick to clarify. “But, I rather stay here in town for as long as you need. And don’t start feelin’ bad. I’m choosin’ to stay off patrol ‘cause I want to, okay?”

He gives you a knowing look as if waiting for you to make some comment, pointing at you with a fork in his hand as a playful warning that makes you giggle. “Okay, okay. I won’t,” you reply, hands raised up in mock surrender.

Joel’s face relaxes into a tender look at the sound of your laughter. He moves to get up, putting the dishes away when both of you have finished your food. Speaking as he walks towards the sink to put the dishes in there, he says, “Only thing is Maria and Tommy want me to come by their place to talk more ‘bout…”

He trails off as his demeanor hardens and you see the muscles in his back tense up—the fabric of his shirt rippling with the movement. After a moment, he turns to look back at you still sitting at the table. “I’ll only be gone a few hours. If you want me to come back here after, I can.”

You find yourself nodding embarrassingly quickly, but Joel only seems to be relieved at your answer.

He looks around the room, searching for anything else he needs to do. “Alright, um… you gonna be okay here? Do you need anythin’?”

“I’ll be alright,” you say. He gives you a questionable look, not from judgement but from nerves, before you stand up and make your way in front of him. Something in you compels you to reach out and grab his hand, watching him looking down at your hands intertwined. “I promise, Joel. I feel a bit better. Swear I won’t act the way I did yesterday.”

Joel still looks down at your hands clasped together with his own. He takes a stuttering breath in before he looks up at you, the tension in his shoulders dropping at your touch. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with how you acted, sweetheart. I’d never be upset with you if you were still like that.”

His doubt and uneasiness about your current state makes sense to you—you know he only wants to double check for your own sake. Thinking about how you prove to him you mean what you say, you decide to move your hand laying in his to adjust your grip until you interlock your pinky finger with his.

Without looking down, Joel feels your finger around his and breaks into a grin. “Alright then. Good.”

You walk him over to your door, Joel not leaving until he promises once more that he will be back as soon as he is able. Shutting the door behind him, you press your back against it and stare around your house and try to figure out what to do. You decide to do what you have always done when you feel anxious. Cleaning. 

A full deep clean of your whole house all at once, something you have done quite a few times during your stay in Jackson as it helped distract you from any stress or overthinking your mind had sucked you into. 

Putting a vinyl onto your record player, you allow your mind to shut off for the next couple hours as your body succumbs to the routine—moving with ease as you dust and wipe down various items in your home. You find yourself harshly scrubbing over multiple spots again and again, unloading your emotions into the tasks and desperately trying to make everything new again. Like you wish you could do with yourself.

As evening approaches, you still feel unclean. A feeling that has been hovering over you since you got back to Jackson last night. A quick glance at the clock tells you that Joel wouldn’t be back for quite some time, so you settle on the decision to take another shower—one that’s longer than last night as you remove the crawling feeling over your skin, doing your best to force yourself into feeling like you again. 

After however long you spend under the hot water, you eventually reach down to turn the knob shut and step out onto the small rug placed outside the tub. You work quickly and diligently to dry off your body, shaking out most of the water from your hair before moving into your bedroom to get dressed. You keep it simple, something soft and loose and cozy. Something that brings you comfort.

When putting on the last article of clothing, you hear knocking at your front door. Your face scrunches up in confusion considering Joel has a key that he always used when you were expecting him. Regardless, you rush to straighten out your clothing and walk downstairs to greet him.

“Ellie?”

She looks relieved when she sees you. “Hi…”

“Is everything okay?” You’re startled but not unhappy to see her here. It just had been some time since she had come over.

She hesitates for a moment until she says, “Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, like, I’m fine, I just…”

Her words trail off and you take notice of the worried lines that are etched on her face, combined with what looks like a glassy look in her eyes as she mumbles out, “Joel– I ran into him while he was with Tommy and they told me about…”

You nod knowingly, silently encouraging her to continue. “I just wanted to check on you. I… I feel like a really shitty person for not seeing you much lately.”

A sad laugh spills out of you. “Oh, Ellie…” You beckon her to come inside and she waits behind you while you close the door. 

The moment the lock clicks, you barely have time to turn back around when you’re met with a sudden hug from Ellie—your body stumbling for a second at the unexpected force before you steady yourself. Your arms hover over her at first, not knowing what to do. She’s hugged you before, sure. Mainly out of gratitude or excitement for something. But never like this.

Ellie’s head burrows further into your chest and you hear small sniffles come from her. The sound makes you wrap your arms around her instantly, settling one of your hands on the back of her head as you pet her hair. 

After a few moments, she mutters an apology into your shirt and you pull yourself back to look at her directly, holding both sides of her face in your hands. “Honey, you have no reason to be apologizing.”

She sniffles again, wiping away a few stray tears. “I just… Fuck, man. I feel bad I haven’t seen you much. Then something like… this happens and I wouldn’t have been able—”

Your heart breaks as she cuts herself off, her emotions seeming to get the best of her. You do your best to convey your reassurance to her, dipping your head low to meet her eyes and smile. “You’re a teenager, Ellie. I don’t expect you to hang out with old people all the time when you make new friends. I’m glad you have people to be around.”

She smiles back, a teasing glint in her eye that has you feeling relieved. “You’re not as old as Joel, if it makes you feel better.”

“Wow, yeah. That makes me feel so much better, thank you for that.”

She giggles at you before pulling away completely and looking back into your house. “Could I, uh, stay here for a bit? Joel said he’d be back soon, he just wanted to shower before coming here because he ended up working on fixing some things with Tommy. I have dinner with Dina and Jesse at his mom’s place later, but I wanted to see you first.”

You nod before she can even finish speaking. “Of course you can hang out here.”

Her bright smile fills you with joy while watching her bounce on the balls of her feet lightly, her child-like spirit from when you first met her coming back in that moment. “Good, because I brought some newer volumes of Savage Starlight that I gotta catch you up on!”

Ellie doesn’t hesitate to make her way to your couch, jumping on it before reaching into her backpack to pull out the comics and spread them over your coffee table. As you walk around the couch to join her, tucking your legs beneath you, you feel overwhelmed at how quickly and simply one kid can make you feel eons better. 

You lean over to pick up one of the comics in an attempt to flip through them and refresh your memory, but you stop yourself when you see her face has become more serious, making you grow concerned. “Are you okay?”

Ellie thinks about it for a moment, eyes on the ground as she bites the inside of her cheek before she turns her body to face you, propping one leg underneath her. You shift yourself to face her directly as well, letting one arm rest on top of the back of the couch to give her your full attention.

“When I first traveled with Joel, years ago, we ran into a group.” She pauses, looking to you for confirmation that she’s free to speak. You nod to show you were listening and move your hand to rest on top of her shoulder soothingly.

She lets out a shaky sigh and you notice her begin to pinch the skin around her tattoo nervously. “They, um… they weren’t good people. Joel was sick and they took me.”

You take a sharp breath in but make no attempt to stop her. “Um… basically, they were just really fucking creepy… men. Nothing happened really, just… they wanted to hurt me, or something.”

Rage builds inside you as you process her words and their implications—her emphasis on the last word making bile creep up your throat. She was so young. Is so young, still, yet knowing how much has happened to her makes you sick. Sick of the world and the kinds of people that existed. The fact that the life you live in is already so cruel and scary, and you can’t even find peace in living in the midst of it all. 

You internally tell yourself to calm down and give her the chance to continue before responding.

She takes a deep breath before looking at you. “It stopped before… anything happened. I promise. Just, I wanted to say I’m sorry for what happened to you and I want to be there for you, if you need. And… don’t let shit like this take over you completely and push people away. I did that, and it was stupid. You can’t let it consume you. It’s okay to need people. Let yourself rely on others. If we don’t, then what’s the point of being alive?”

Her words stun you into silence, only able to take them in as tears silently fall down your face. You suddenly surge forward to bring her into a tight hug, holding her against you and whispering into her hair. “Thank you, Ellie. I’m so sorry, I…” Your thoughts trail off as you squeeze your eyes shut, running your hands over her back soothingly. “I’ll always be here for you, too. Okay?”

You feel slight shaking from her for only a couple seconds before she mutters into your shoulder. “Love you, dude.”

You let out a laugh that sounds like a sob as you pull back smiling at her, rubbing your thumbs over her cheeks and smoothing her hair out of her face. “Thanks… dude.”

She laughs and playfully shoves your arm. “Fuck off and say it back.”

You smile so hard it hurts your cheeks, unable to stop even if you wanted to. “I love you too, Ellie.”

She sighs deeply, shaking her head and blinking away tears from her eyes to move the conversation forward. Turning her attention back to the comics, she slaps her hands on the tops of her thighs gently as she grabs a book from the spread she made. “Okay, so in this volume…”

The next two hours are spent just talking with each other—about the comics and about things happening in your lives. She updates you on school subjects, discussing the topics with disinterest until mentioning the week they they learned about astronomy and the history of the Mesozoic era.

Somewhere along the way, the topic turns into her asking about your love life.

“Nonexistent,” you say bluntly with a short laugh.

Ellie eyes you with a doubtful look. “Really?”

Her tone puzzles you until you see a smirk on her lips, your eyes widening from her implication. A deadpan look is the only way you respond to her before you change the subject. 

“How about you, huh? Everything good with you and Cat?”

Her eyes widen for a moment before she seems to recover. “What do you mean about me and Cat?”

Her reaction makes you confused before you clarify. “Like… you don’t talk about her much anymore. I’ve seen you spend more time with Dina lately. Is Cat a shitty friend?”

Ellie lets out a quick exhale. “Oh. Yeah, no, we’re still… friends, I guess. Dina doesn’t like her much, says Cat is ‘not good news’.” Looking off to the side, her face twists into annoyance. “As if she can really be one to talk. Her and Jesse have this weird on and off tension,” she shudders at the thought. “Gonna suck when Dina most likely gets paired on patrols with Jesse as her partner.”

The two of you are distracted when you both hear the lock of your door turn. Your attention shifts over to watch as Joel comes through, his usual dark jeans and brown coat adorning his body and the dark of the evening looming behind him. He steps in with one foot before lifting his head and freezing in the door, a surprised and apologetic look on his face.

“Sorry,” he says timidly. “Am I interruptin’ girl talk?”

Ellie turns back to you and mutters, “Speaking of partners…”

You send her a warning glare before she puts her hands up innocently. “What? You guys are ‘patrol partners’,” she says while putting air quotes around the last two words.

You playfully slap her arm, hearing her snicker and say ow, before you shake away her comment and turn your attention back to Joel. “Not interrupting. Ellie just stopped by to show me some of her new comics she found.”

Joel smiles, stepping inside fully and raising himself on his toes for a second to peer over at your coffee table to see what comic you two were currently looking at. “Ah, yeah, she told me ‘bout that one.”

Ellie looks between you two for a moment, then begins moving to gather all her comics and shove them into her backpack before standing up with you. “Well… I better go. Jesse’s mom is gonna be pissed if I’m late again. I’ll leave you two crazy kids at it.”

Joel snickers at her. “Now who sounds old?”

Ellie rolls her eyes at him. “Literally still you, dude.”

She says her goodbyes to you with a quick hug, giving Joel a nod as she goes to the door and swings it open before calling out behind her, “Make good choices!”

Her words make you wince when remembering what she had asked just moments ago, but Joel is none the wiser about the meaning behind them.

You take a second to look at him more clearly, noticing his hair is wet and slicked back a bit, a few strands curling in the front. You remember Ellie telling you he would stop at his place to take care of a few things and shower before coming here.

“How was everything with Tommy?”

He rolls his eyes. “Damn idiot roped me into fixin’ up some stuff at the bar. Had to hear Seth’s fuckin’ mouth run for hours. Almost wringed his damn neck.”

You smirk and ask, “Tommy’s neck or Seth’s?”

He snorts, eyes going wide dramatically for a second. “Both. At the same time.”

His response makes your shoulders shake with laughter, which has Joel looking at you sideways with a twitching smile. “You seem more yourself… Did Ellie spike your drink or somethin’?”

“No, no. She just… We had a good talk. Hadn’t gotten to see her much so it was nice catching up.” You tilt your head as a joking thought comes to you. “You know, she gives eerily good advice for someone so young. You think Jackson needs another therapist?”

Joel barks out a laugh at that. “Don’t know how many people could tolerate a shrink swearin’ every three words. Best to keep that occupation for Gail.”

“You know what… fair enough, actually.”

The two of you stand there in silence for a second while you shift on your feet. “Do you… wanna watch a movie or something?” You offer.

Joel seems to remember something. “Actually, I thought we could sit out on your porch swing. The weather's a bit cool tonight, so I thought it might be nice?”

There’s an uncertainty in his voice that makes you quickly reassure him by eagerly nodding, stopping at your coat rack near the door to get a sweater shawl to wear outside before following him. Despite being the summer, the air still got cooler as the sun fades away.

When you walk out, you see him leaning against your porch railing waiting for you. Your porch lights light up the profile of his face as he looks off to the side, hitting his skin and encasing him in a warm glow. Hearing you step out, he lifts off of the wooden beam and holds your swing steady as you sit on one side, folding your legs underneath you as you sit sideways. You settle your shawl over your shoulders, resting your face against your hand as you lean your arm on the back of the swing.

You glance up to see Joel still standing in front of you, fidgeting on his feet. With a frown, you ask, “You okay?”

He just nods, mostly to himself, like he’s trying to convince himself of his answer. After a brief pause, he glances to the opposite corner of your porch that’s too dark in the shadows for you to see. “I, uh… I brought somethin’...”

Walking over to that corner, you watch Joel pull a guitar that had apparently been leaning up against the brick wall. At the sight, your eyes light up and your mouth parts open—trying, yet failing, to not to startle him with your excitement. 

You close your mouth shut, keeping your lips pressed tightly together, but Joel had already seen your enthusiasm. He just huffs out a laugh and clears his throat, holding the guitar in front of him as he walks back over to the swing. “Promised I’d play for you one day. Only if you want–”

“Yes, please.”

With a shy smile, he sits down next to you and props the guitar on his lap, placing his hands on the strings accordingly.

“You gonna sing for me, Miller?”

Joel glances up at you, catching your smirk and laughing as his cheeks flush. “Not that confident yet… but maybe one day I will.”

His attention moves back to the guitar, his face shifted into concentration. You take notice of his hands trembling as he holds the instrument, showing you his nerves to play for you.

Without thinking, you reach out and place one hand against his arm in hopes of settling his anxiety. At your touch, his face turns to look down at where your skin meets the sleeve of his jacket, and watch his body physically sag as the tension leaves him.

The contact only lasts a few seconds before you pull away and allow him to move freely in order to play. With a shaky deep breath in, Joel closes his eyes and begins playing. 

The notes sound beautiful as you attentively sit and watch his fingers move with ease over the chords. The music has a small smile dancing on your lips, but after about ten seconds of playing, you let out a gasp—your body going stiff when you recognize the song and a wave of emotion hits you.

It was your favorite song. Lightning Crashes by Live, from 1994. The song your dad would play for you in the car repeatedly until you knew every word. Back in a time where you had no worries.

Joel doesn’t know that fact, but you know he does know your reaction when you had found it in a pile of vinyls at some abandoned store a few months back. The way you froze when you found it just laying at the top of a pile left on the floor, long forgotten and discarded over the years. How Joel sharply turned around when he heard your loud gasp and thought you had been in danger, only for him to shift into a look of amused bewilderment when you kept repeating oh my god, over and over again.

From that day on, you played the song every chance you got—Joel and Ellie hearing it endlessly for days on end. Ellie playfully picking on you and saying you would get sick of it having it on repeat for so long. But you knew you never could.

A stinging feeling in your eyes has you blinking furiously, but not wiping away the tears that formed and begin to trickle down your cheeks. Joel plays the chords flawlessly. His fingers move with such precision that you believe he had played this many times before, as if he had spent time practicing the song repeatedly to get it perfect. And it was. He was.

The pacing and volume of the notes begin to pick up, signaling to you that he was reaching your favorite part. The one that would have you screaming with your father. The part you’d mouth the lyrics to around Ellie and Joel.

It’s then that you hear another sound and realize Joel was softly humming the words to himself. The apples of your cheeks began to hurt from how wide you were grinning, the movement in your face only letting more tears slip out and drop onto your shirt.

Eventually the chords fade out and Joel stills his hands on the instrument, his eyes opening to stare down at his lap as you both sit quietly.

“That bad, huh?” He tries to joke, insecurity dripping into his tone from your silence.

After a beat, you softly call his name, prompting him to look at you. He slowly lifts his head to meet your gaze and relief courses through him at the sight. You sit before him with tears falling silently and your lips pressed tightly in a smile in an effort to not let a sob escape you. 

To Joel, the way you look at him right now with so much adoration in your eyes, makes his chest constrict.

“Hope those are happy tears, darlin’.”

You laugh, or try to—the noise being a slightly choked sound in the process. “Joel… that was beautiful.” 

Your compliment and the emphasis you put in your words has Joel’s face and neck feel warm. He leans forward to rest his guitar against the porch railing in front of him. As he settles back into the swing, you feel his body freeze in shock when you suddenly throw yourself at him to wrap your arms around his neck. Pressing your face into his shoulder, you’re hit with a scent of vanilla and sandalwood that makes your head dizzy.

Joel’s quick to wrap his arms around you in return when his mind catches up to the moment, letting his body relax at the feeling of you in his arms again. This time, though, it feels different.

You shift your face to bring your lips towards his ear and whisper a soft, “Thank you,” trying your best to pour the extent of your emotions into two simple words.

After some time, you reluctantly slip your arms from his neck and pull away, leaning your side back into the swing. Joel adjusts himself to face you directly and rests his arm on the back of the swing, delicately playing with the fluff of your sweater on your shoulder.

“So, you like the song choice?”

You give him an incredulous look that makes him laugh. “It was perfect. I’m more surprised you weren’t too sick of hearing that song so much to want to learn how to play it.”

He smirks and moves his eyes across your face. “It’s a good song. I probably liked it even more because of how you are when you listen to it.”

The hint of shyness in his voice at the end makes you smile before you begin to ask him details of the song—finding out that when you had seen his guitar and asked to hear him play, he wanted to find a good song for you. Then, that night the two of you and Ellie played cards, you had put that song on and ended up moving the needle back at least six times before letting the next song selection play. When he had taken a look at the vinyl cover, he recognized it from when you had first found it on patrol with him, and knew it was the only choice.

You hear about how often he practiced to get the song down right, but that he was quick to memorize the chords. The topic transitions into you asking him more about his skill with the instrument and realizing he had been playing for a very long time, and actually took it very seriously in his earlier years.

Joel shares with you that having Sarah so young forced him to find a different career path—all the singing and playing at bars not being enough to support her. He tells you stories of how he’d play and sing lullabies to her as she grew up, whether it was to help her sleep or soothe her after a bad day, and that he dreamed of teaching her how to play one day. 

“She was too focused on soccer to start practicin’ regularly, but I did teach her some notes,” he says, his voice turning quiet and sad as the concept of not having enough time kicks in. You lean your head to lay on his arm splayed across the swing, and you see his attention turn from his lap and onto you before one corner of his mouth pulls up.

The two of you go into easy conversations talking about anything and everything. Discussing likes, dislikes, favorite things, hobbies you both had before the outbreak, what life was like in general for either of you. This continues on for a couple hours as you both flow and switch between topics, the sky growing darker as the moon becomes visible. 

You take note of how the evening has made you feel a million times lighter and in general more at ease. It’s something you wouldn’t have thought possible before Jackson. Before Ellie. Joel.

Ellie’s words from earlier ring through your mind—this moment with Joel making you understand her fully. You had always forced yourself to shove things down. Always needing to move on quickly and relying on only yourself for so long. You think back to Joel’s interactions with you over time. How often he helped you, and how insistent he always is to let him help you. 

Ellie, who’s presence alone fills you with a level of joy and love you didn’t think was possible. Just today, seeing her and spending time with her made you forget your troubles, even if for a brief moment. The way that Tommy and Maria have shown you so much kindness and grace this whole time—how they even brought you here and gave you a chance in the first place.

Your fight with Joel in the comic book store almost a year ago comes to you, and the memory has you feeling stunned at how different your relationship with Joel was compared to how. The way you told him no one needs you, contrasting with Ellie’s advice from earlier.

She was right. You have to allow people to feel needed by you.

Your thoughts drift away and you come back to Joel talking about his love of coffee, saying that he was an addict for it before the outbreak. Considering how he always trades whatever he has to restock on some coffee beans, you aren’t shocked to find this passion had existed in a time long before now.

In the midst of his story, he seems to remember something. “By the way, when I was makin’ breakfast for us earlier, I saw you didn’t have much coffee grounds left.”

Realization strikes you, and you quickly try to reassure him you don’t mind. Shaking his head, he persists. “Nah, I feel bad I’m always takin’ ‘em from ya. I’ll make sure to bring you fresh ones next time someone comes through with ‘em, yeah?”

You sit and stare at your lap, twisting your fingers nervously. “Joel… I, uh, I gotta tell you something.”

He focuses on you with a serious face, straightening his posture to give you the place to speak freely. 

You look at him sideways as you force out the words. “I… I don’t actually like coffee.”

There’s a pause before Joel laughs. “Yes you do?” He says, chuckling while a frown flickers on his face. “You drink it all the time. Darlin’, you drank it this mornin’?”

His voice kicking up at the end makes you smile nervously. “I never really drank it. I always just kinda… hold the mug to act like I did.”

Joel’s brows furrow close together, staring at you for a beat before looking off into the front yard. He thinks for a moment and turns back to you. “Huh?”

“Yeah,” you say, wincing. “I sorta, kinda, really hate coffee.”

He stares at you while trying to process your words carefully. “But you always got coffee grounds here?”

His cluelessness has you fighting back a laugh. 

“Well, yeah, because I know how much you love coffee.” 

Joel’s eyes flit around as he wracks through his brain, trying to recall previous experiences you two have had. You continue and say, “I mean, think about it—I am always drinking and making tea. If I make coffee, it’s because it’s for you. And if I have a mug, it’s because you were the one to give it to me.”

The dramatic look on Joel’s face has you breaking, unable to stop the giggle as you watch him act like his whole world view just shifted.

His eyes widen slightly, shaking his head and looking around before focusing back on you and squinting in curiosity. “Holy… Are you even who you say you are?”

You bring a hand up to cover your mouth, muffling the sounds of your laughter. “What the fuck do you mean you don’t like coffee? It’s the best thing ever invented. I mean, hell, only psychopaths don’t like coffee.”

You catch the playful edge to his offended tone and throw your head back to laugh out loud. You lightly smack the side of his arm and give him a pointed look. “Hey, Ellie doesn’t like coffee,” you say, attempting to defend your point.

That only makes Joel’s eye go wide and throw his hands out. “That’s my damn point, sweetheart!”

You struggle to speak for a moment before saying, “Well, I’m really sorry to break it to you, honey.”

You don’t even realize what you say at first, just freely speaking without thinking when the word comes to you naturally. Joel, on the other hand, did notice.

Right away, his teasingly offended nature dissipates and his smile from your laughter drops completely. At his expression, you’re confused for a split second until your mind catches up to your words from moments ago and you freeze—your laughter ceasing as heat rushes to your cheeks.

You’ve heard those kinds of names from Joel all the time. Darlin’. Sweetheart. All something that you stopped searching for a deeper meaning in them, chalking it up to be a result of being from Texas—his southern drawl letting the terms of endearment slip freely.

But, you. You have never reciprocated the sentiment. Until now. And you both know it.

The two of you stare at each other, both slightly shocked and unsure what to say, your chests picking up rapidly from quick breathing. You part your lips, intending to say something, anything, but nothing comes to mind and you’re left opening and closing your mouth like a fish. The movement on your face has Joel’s eyes dropping to stare at your mouth, and you find yourself doing the same to him.

He blinks once, and for a moment you think you see his body lean towards yours, not even an inch, before a shrieking laugh from down the road catches your attention. The sound makes you both jump and look in the direction to see a group of young adults stumbling down the road, most likely returning home from the Tipsy Bison.

Watching them for a moment, you keep your face turned away from Joel’s and shut your eyes, internally cursing yourself as that embarrassment comes back.

You find the courage to look back to Joel to see him staring down at his hands, almost like he’s offended by them. Suddenly, he clears his throat and shifts his body forward and away from you. Placing his hands on his thighs, he pushes himself to stand with a soft grunt. “Looks like it’s gettin’ late. You should probably head to bed.”

The tone in his voice makes you think he is uncertain of the decision, forcing himself to believe his own words. Regardless, he puts his hand out for you to grab and let him help pull you up. With a sigh to yourself, you let your shoulders sag and place your hand into his—the warmness of your palm in his rough ones making heat spread through the both of you, unaware of the effect you have on each other.

You wordlessly let him guide you inside first before he turns to grab his guitar and bring it inside, setting it on the back of your couch.

For a moment, you shift on your feet while you watch Joel gently shut the door behind him. You notice him lingering his palm against the door with his back to you and see the rapid rise and fall of his back.

Tension seems to radiate in the air around you—the interruption leaving you annoyed like a child throwing a tantrum, but you bottle that feeling and shove it down.

Joel slowly turns around with his head bowed until he faces you and looks up into your eyes, flicking his own between them. He shakes away a thought, looking off to the side and clearing his throat. A deep frown stays etched onto his face as he speaks, his voice coming out thick and deep. “Um, did you want me to…”

His wrist flicks as he gestures towards the couch, wondering if you wanted him to stay the night over here again. 

You shake your head. “I’ll be okay on my own tonight. I feel more safe, and uh… I don’t wanna make you spend another night on that thing.” What you don’t say is that you do want him to stay over. Not because you didn’t want to be alone, but because you wanted to be around him.

Joel chews on the inside of his cheek as he nods, his fingers twitching at his sides and he balls his hands into fists and flexes them.

You linger expectedly, hoping for some sign of… something. The thought is useless when Joel briefly passes his eyes over you and says, “Well… g’night, then.”

He turns his back to you and heads towards the door. You look down at your feet and shut your eyes, sighing to yourself. Stupid… so stupid.

With his hand on the doorknob, Joel stands at the door hesitantly. You lift your head and frown as you wait. Did he need something?

You see the profile of his face as he hovers near the door, his face pinched in concentration as he takes a deep breath in before lifting his head towards you. The intensity of his gaze makes the air feel like it’s been sucked out of you. Your expression twitches in confusion while you watch him study you, thoughts racing through his head that you try to decipher through his eyes.

A few seconds pass when you see Joel’s face settle, his mind seeming to have made some decision unbeknownst to you. His face twists up in a mix of pain and frustration before he mutters, “Oh, fuckin’ hell.”

With those words, he crosses the short distance between you two with three long strides, grabbing both sides of your face with his hands and tilting his head to capture your lips with his own.

The action has your body stumble to try and find your balance. The force in which he collided with you makes you think he was too impatient to stop in front of you first—the only thing on his mind being to get to you as soon as possible. Doing this.

A brief pause goes by for your brain to catch up with what’s happening, and you move your lips against his own while grabbing the sides of his shirt to steady yourself, both physically and mentally.

You feel and hear Joel take a deep inhale through his nose once he feels your response, kissing you with more purpose like he was holding back in case the kiss was unwanted on your end. The intensity of his kiss has a quiet whimper leaving you, in turn making a rumbling groan come from the back of Joel’s throat.

Your hands slide up his side and wrap around the back of his neck to hold him closer to you while his own hands shift from your face and into your hair, holding the back of your head gently.

Eventually, his kisses become more slow and languid as he draws back just enough to press his forehead against yours. You both stare at each other’s mouths that are left parted open from the heavy breathing leaving you both. Joel tilts his head slightly to get a full view of your face, giving you time to study his as well. The pupils of his eyes are blown wide until there’s more black than brown. His lips are red and swollen from your kisses, his cheeks flushed.

His eyes dart across your face, unable to find anywhere to settle as he looks from your lips to your eyes, like he’s trying to memorize the way you look in this exact moment. The gleam in his eyes has your breath hitch in your throat. 

His features soften as he brings his hands to hold your face, gently rubbing his thumbs across the apple of your cheeks. You watch his gaze land on your lips before he softly laughs, his face breaking into what you think has to be the most beautiful smile you have ever seen.

“Was that okay?” He asks in a whispered tone.

The tension in your body melts as you laugh in response to his question, your smile matching his own. “More than okay.”

His brows push together and raise up slightly in the middle, his eyes so soft. “You have no idea how fuckin’ long I’ve wanted to do that, darlin’.”

The admittance makes your head spin. “Can’t be much longer than me.”

He breathes out a laugh at that. “You tellin’ me I could’ve done this sooner?” 

You shrug with a teasing smirk. “Guess so, Miller.”

He shakes his head slowly with a lazy half-smile on his face. “Nothin’ but trouble,” he mutters, to himself more than to you. Looking back down to your lips, he breathes a question. “Can I kiss you again?”

Your answer comes in the form of placing your hands on the tops of his shoulders and bringing yourself towards him again. Joel meets you halfway and sighs into your mouth at your approval. You feel his tongue lightly run over your lips, silently seeking permission. You welcome the offer and part your lips, feeling his tongue dip into the parted space and swirling it with your own.

The two of you stand there for however long, your tongues dancing as your hands roam over each other’s bodies, until you both pull back to catch your breath for a moment. That brief period of time you spend not touching each other makes the air shift. The tension that hangs in the air becomes more charged, nearly choking you. The need and impatience you had silently shared without the other knowing seems to snap—having waited so long for something that feels so good. Internally cursing yourselves for not doing anything sooner.

You look up to meet Joel’s eyes, listening to the sounds of your breathing mingling in with the soft tick of the clock in your living room, when you both share a silent agreement. You collide with one another once more, your lips moving against each other more urgently. Hungrier. 

Suddenly, Joel’s moving your bodies until your back hits the bottom of your staircase railing. He shifts you around the corner of it, both of you scrambling up the steps and only separating every couple seconds to make sure you don’t blindly trip on the way up. Somewhere along the way your sweater and his coat are discarded hastily in an effort to appease the heat growing between you two, while also trying to get closer.

Reaching your bedroom door, your back hits it softly before you push it open behind you with frantic hands fumbling to find the doorknob. Once you hear the sound of the knob turning, Joel brings his hand up to forcibly push the door open and into the bedroom. As you step in, he turns you and presses you against the wall beside your door. His hands come up to rest against the wall on either of your face, caging you in.

Joel rips himself away from you to look down at you with a disheveled look. “Darlin’, you sure you wanna do this?”

You impatiently nod your head, fully aware of what you want, and lean forward to kiss him again before being stopped when he pulls his face back another inch.

Raising his brows, he speaks your name in a more serious tone. “I need you to say it.”

“Yes,” you breathe.

He gulps as he looks to your lips before shaking his head to focus, not wanting to get distracted. “I’m serious. I gotta… darlin’, I need to make sure. After everythin’ yesterday I–”

He cuts himself off, closing his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them and looking to the floor. You bring your hands to either side of his face in an effort to coax him into looking at you.

“Joel…”

His eyes fall shut at the sound of you calling his name, your voice soothing to him. When he opens his eyes to yours, he sees nothing but certainty in them. 

“I promise you, I am okay. I want this. I want you. Regardless of what happened, I know how I feel. I’ve known for a while. I… I’ve wanted this for a while,” you say, gesturing between the two of you. “And I don’t just mean the physicality of it. I just mean… all of you. You’re what I want.”

Joel’s eyes flick between yours while scanning your face for any signs of doubt, but finding none. His own desire fights to take over, making him sigh and rest his forehead on yours.

You see his shoulders relax and feel his hand come up in between your bodies. Looking down, you see him holding his right hand with his pinky finger sticking out. Biting back a smile, you return the gesture to him, your agreement having Joel immediately leaning forward to steal your lips into a kiss the moment he felt the first touch of your finger wrapping around his.

Your body arches off the door and into him more and more as he deepens the kiss further, more frenzied as his own body leans naturally into yours. It feels as though this is a release of every single moment that has come before tonight begging to be let out—the both of you desperately needing to feel the other as close as humanly possible.

Joel lifts you off of the wall to bring you over to your bed, laying you down before stepping back. You scoot your body further up the bed towards your pillows, your hands braced against the comforter as Joel begins to remove his shirt while standing at the foot of your bed. Your throat goes dry at the sight of his exposed skin. 

Sure, you knew he was broad. You’ve seen the expanse of his shoulders when he’s not wearing his thick winter coats. You’ve seen him wear t-shirts all the time in the warmer seasons. Seen the way the fabric would cling to his back and highlight the hard lines of his body as he sweat under the sun. But nothing could make you feel any less in awe at the man standing before you. Large, toned arms lay at this side. Muscles flexing as he works his shirt over his head and throws it somewhere in your room. Graying hair scattered across his chest that, as your eyes move down his body, you notice a trail of thicker, darker hair disappearing below the belt of his jeans. His soft tummy on display contrasting the hardness that is prominent in other parts of his body.

“Like what you see?”

You flinch at the words, not realizing how long you had been staring. You see a smirk on Joel’s face and your cheeks turn bright red from having been caught in your obvious gawking.

He saves you from embarrassment by kneeling onto the bed and crawling over to you, leaning you back so you lay with your head against the pillows. His body settles over yours, making your legs part instinctively to make space for him, and cups your face with one hand while using his other to roam across your body as he kisses you.

His hand travels down over your mid-section and lands at the bottom of your shirt, wrapping his finger around the hem and begins lifting the fabric. A sliver of your stomach gets exposed to the cool air, shocking you into focus as you suddenly break away and place your hands on his arms to stop him.

“Wait.”

Joel immediately stops, hovering his body higher over yours to give you more space as he looks down at you with concern filling his features. “What is it?”

You momentarily freeze, the realization making you suddenly nervous for his reaction.

At your silence, Joel becomes increasingly worried and rushes out to say, “Darlin’, if you wanna stop then you say the word and we stop.”

You shake your head assuredly. “No!” The word comes out in a panic and you take a slow breath in to compose yourself. “No, it’s not that I– I don’t want to stop, I swear.”

Joel’s worry lessens, his face softening a little. He gently responds, “Okay. What is it, then? What’s wrong?” 

You squeeze your eyes shut, anxiety building in you, but he only reassures further. “Sweetheart, whatever it is, I promise you can tell me.”

Opening your eyes, you keep your gaze trained to his chest to avoid making eye contact with him as you talk. “I… I’ve never…”

You weren’t embarrassed about your lack of experience. The world being what it is, and it starting during your time as an adolescent, made it so intimacy and having a partner was never high on your list of priorities, if at all. It did, however, worry you that Joel wouldn’t want this with you right now.

He remains silent for a moment before he gently speaks your name, giving you the push to raise your eyes up to his. What you see is not judgment, but soft understanding with a firm look in his eyes.

He knows what you mean and sits there silently. You’re unsure of what to say until he slowly brings his face down to press a slower kiss that relaxes your body. He pulls back slightly to place a quick kiss to your bottom lip before lifting his head to look at you more directly.

“Promise that’s okay, darlin’. Ain’t gonna change anythin’ for me, alright?”

You nod at him. The fact you hadn’t done anything before doesn’t deter you from wanting this with him—you just wanted him to know beforehand. 

Joel looks at you with a more serious yet still tender gaze. “You still sure ‘bout this?”

You wordlessly nod, but he pushes for more. “M’serious, baby. Any point you wanna stop or slow down at all you–”

The name, mixed with the safety and trust he provides you with his words, makes you cut him off by impatiently pulling his face down to you. The force of it makes his balance above you stumble for a bit before he mutters a curse under his breath.

You take control of the decision by taking his hand and guiding it to the hem of your shirt like it was a moment ago. Feeling your eager initiative, you feel the vibrations of him moaning into your mouth before you hear it—the noise causing a whimper to leave the back of your throat as your mind becomes clouded in euphoria.

Grabbing onto the bottom of your shirt, he slowly lifts it up your body and over your head as you lean forward to help him. Discarding your shirt somewhere across the room, he takes a second to look down at you, slowly admiring you as you did him. Although your anxiety from the newness of this moment makes you unable to match the confident and teasing look he had minutes before, even though you try.

His eyes travel over your body and come back up to your face where he notices the hesitation in your eyes—the way your hands twitch at your sides as you fight the urge to cover yourself.

Joel brings his hand to hold your face and comes close enough to whisper inches from you. “You don’t gotta be nervous, darlin’.” Taking another look down at you, he laughs in disbelief. “Can’t tell ya how fuckin’ lucky I am to be with someone so perfect.”

Your cheeks burn hot at his words, his hands melting the tension from your body as they slide behind you to unhook your bra. Slipping the straps off your shoulders, he curses under his breath before leaning down to hover his face over one of your breasts. Joel pauses to look up at you through hooded eyes, seeking permission before you quickly nod your head and feel his lips wrap around your nipple that stands hard and sensitive. 

You throw your head back as you breathe out moans at the unfamiliar sensation. You didn’t anticipate how good it would feel as he sucks and presses hot, open-mouthed kisses across your chest, alternating between both sides as he uses a hand to cup the other breast.

He trails kisses up your neck as you card your fingers through his hair, stopping to suck at your skin before dragging his lips across your jaw and to your lips, hungrily kissing you as you eagerly respond. 

One of his hands travels down to the button on your pants, stopping his mouth against yours for a moment until he feels you nod. You hold your breath as he unbuttons your bottoms, shifting his body down to remove them as he makes his way. Now on his knees and hovering above your legs, you watch as he lets out a staggered breath when looking at the now exposed skin.

“Can I take these off?” He asks, gesturing to your underwear. The last thing that separates him from seeing you fully. 

You slowly nod before he raises his eyebrows at you, waiting until you breathe out a shaky yes. With your permission, he grabs the sides of your underwear with his fingers and begins to peel the fabric off painfully slow. 

Your feet stay planted on the bed with your knees bent up as you lift your hips up to help him remove your underwear. Sliding his hands up your skin, his touch guides you to straighten out your legs, giving view to what he desires most in the moment.

His jaw clenches as his eyes roam across the space between your thighs, looking up at you a few seconds later with his eyes completely black and mouth parted open, breathing heavily.

Joel leans his body back to hover over yours, giving you a short kiss while stroking your hair. Pulling away, he asks you, “You ever touched yourself before?”

You nod against his hand that rests on the side of your head. Your words cause him to inhale deeply and shut his eyes in a form of restraint for a moment. Voice now thick with lust, he says, “Good. Helps me know what works best for you.”

His right hand runs down to hover between your legs, your breath catching in your throat at the touch. Slowly, he runs a finger through your folds, gathering the wetness that has accumulated. He groans. “Can I touch you, darlin’?”

Lightheaded, you nod and mutter a quick approval as you anticipate his touch. Using his thumb, Joel runs soft yet purposeful circles over your clit with the right amount of pressure. He moves to drag his middle finger through your slit, spreading your slick before curving his finger inside you, causing you to gasp and arch your back at the intrusion.

He leans his forehead on yours, pressing a kiss to your nose as he balances his weight on one elbow. Feeling him pause, you nod your head to encourage him to keep going and feel him move his finger in and out slowly, curving it diligently as if he knows your body. 

He continues this for a minute before he adds his ring finger, moving them in a come here motion while using his thumb to continue rubbing circles over your clit. “Oh god,” you gasp out as he hits a spot deep inside you after a few strokes, leaning your head back into your pillow and scrunching your face in a shock of pleasure.

Joel uses his free hand to stroke your hair while pressing light and comforting kisses across the side of your face. “That’s it,” he reassures you. “You’re doin’ so good for me. This feel good?”

You give a frantic nod. Joel smiles against your temple as he feels you begin to unintentionally clench around his fingers.

“You gonna come for me?” Nodding in response to him, he asks with a shaky breath, “What do you need from me?”

You struggle finding the words to speak, making him slow his movements to get your attention. The loss of friction causes you to look over at him with wide eyes until he presses. “You gotta tell me what you want, baby. Tell me what feels good.”

Letting out a frustrated whine, a sound that makes Joel teasingly smirk, you finally find the strength to spit out the words. “Just… fuck, Joel. Please just… keep going. Faster, please.”

He gives you a hum of approval before continuing the same motions at a slightly quicker speed—the feeling building up inside you as he rhythmically hits that spot you’ve never felt before tonight. 

The sounds of Joel’s praises and rigid panting against the side of your face, mixed with his thumb rubbing patterns on your clit, propels you closer to the edge.

A tight thread in your body snaps and you throw your head back clenching around his fingers, your body shuddering as you come. 

The moment you fall apart on his fingers, Joel lets out a low moan and leaves open-mouthed kisses across the side of your face as he continues to help you ride out your high, only slowly withdrawing his fingers when you stop shaking.

Your breathing more regulated, you blink open your eyes to Joel’s head dipped down into your neck and nipping at your skin, tracing the area with his tongue before pulling away. When he looks up to you, a cocky smile spreads on his face. “You feelin’ alright?”

You playfully roll your eyes and let your body sag further into bed at his question. “Yeah, just trying to find the ability to breathe right now.”  

He lets out a low laugh, letting his head fall onto your chest before looking back up at you with warm eyes. You bring your hands up to his face to pull him in for a slow kiss. Joel moves his body to lean into yours more, causing you to feel the hardness through his jeans that rests on your thigh. You let out a small gasp as you pull away and look down, gulping at the sight. Your nerves suddenly kick in again.

“Can I… um–”

You trail off and look down in between you two. Furrowing his brow, Joel looks down for a moment before he understands your offer. His face lifts back to yours as a softer expression takes over his features. Giving a small shake of his head, he says, “No, no. We won’t do that tonight.”

Insecurity washes over you as you look away, murmuring, “Do you not want me to…?”

Hearing the vulnerable tone in your voice, Joel’s eyes widen as he immediately clarifies himself. “Darlin’, no I–” He cuts off to let out a soft scoffing sound, breathing out a curse before looking at you with complete sincerity. “Believe me, that is absolutely somethin’ I want. Fuck, I’ll take anythin’ you would ever wanna give me, but tonight is ‘bout you. You don’t need to be doin’ that tonight, okay, sweet girl?”

Looking off to the side, you chew the inside of your cheek lightly. “What if I want to?”

Your question makes a low groan leave the back of Joel’s throat before he shuts his eyes to compose himself. Opening them back up, you see such a strong desire in them. “I promise, if that’s still what you want, then another time, okay?” Looking down at your body, he lets out a soft laugh. “I ain’t as young as I used to be, darlin’, and I got plans for tonight. Wanna make this as comfortable as possible for you. Plus, I’m fightin’ the urge to not come in my fuckin’ jeans like a god damn teenager already.”

You let out a giggle at that. Looking back down at the tent in his pants, you let out a slight wince envisioning the constriction. “You know, if I’m completely naked it feels only fair that you do the same. If you’re uncomfortable you can…” 

Joel nods and takes the chance to stand and remove his jeans and underwear. With the discarded clothing, you make the same face you gave him when he took his shirt off, except with wider eyes—a mix of nerves and excitement striking you.

He takes your look for worry and crawls back over you gently to ease your nerves. “Don’t worry,” he says. “We aren’t going to do that yet.” You scrunch your face in confusion at that. Then what are you going to do?

Joel moves his body down until his upper body sits between your thighs, face hovering over you as he looks up at you under his eyebrows. 

Your body tenses up and you feel the air disappear from your lungs for a moment as you look down at him, so achingly beautiful and so close to you, realizing what he was planning. “What are you doing?” 

His hands slide down your sides to land at the tops of your thighs. “Been wantin’ to get a taste of you all night. Longer than tonight if I’m bein’ honest with the both of us.” 

You feel your body burn hot at his words while a knot gets formed in your stomach. Furrowing your brows and wincing, you ask, “You… you want to do that?”

He gives you a look like you’re crazy before he sees the genuine confusion in your eyes. Pressing long kisses over the tops and insides of your thighs, you feel your body tense and gasp. He looks up at you, his gaze tender as he tells you, “I guarantee you, I very much want to. Only if you’ll let me.”

You stare at him, chest rising and falling rapidly with anticipation as he looks at you up through his lashes. “So, can I, baby?”

A soft moan escapes you before you eagerly nod your head. “Fuck… oh my god, please.”

A smirk crosses Joel’s face at your enthusiasm, before he focuses his eyes back down, wrapping a hand underneath one of your thighs to hook your leg over his shoulder. He brings his mouth down between your thighs and you instantly respond as your body arches up with the contact. He presses kisses over you before you feel his tongue leaving small licks there, easing you into the act. The moment he dips his tongue into you, a sharp whine leaves your throat as you throw your head back in ecstasy. The feeling is beyond overwhelming, your body having not experienced something even close to this.

You find yourself biting your lip to suppress the sounds that want to come out, gripping your hands into the sheets at your sides with your eyes squeezed shut. Having started gentle, it’s as if Joel has become a man possessed as you hear and feel moans of his own as he tastes you. You feel him reach deeper, his movements more frantic as he swirls his tongue inside you, his nose bumping against your clit in the process. The friction makes you let out a particularly loud cry before you bring your hand up to your mouth to try and bite down to calm yourself.

Joel seems to notice the movement from you, and looks up before he pulls his face a few inches away from where you need him most. You feel like a child as you fight back a whine from the loss of contact. Looking down to see why he stopped, you’re left breathless from the lustful look in his eyes—his mouth and chin shining with your slick. 

Voice gruff, he says, “Don’t hold back.” You hesitate before he pushes with a determined look in his eyes. “Let me hear ya. Loud as you want.”

He waits until you nod and drop your hands back onto your pillow besides your face. Satisfied, he tilts his face back down to wrap his lips around your clit and suck gently, but with purpose. The feeling causes a sharp moan to leave you, crying out, “Oh fuck… Joel…”

He hums, moving his tongue back inside you to continue licking you so sweetly. You arch your back and almost squirm away from the intense feeling growing inside you. Having none of that, Joel brings one hand to your stomach, pressing down firmly to keep you in place. He looks up at you, using his hand that holds your leg over his shoulder to grab onto one of your hands. You make and hold eye contact with him as he guides your hand into his hair, encouraging you to grab onto him to hold yourself steady. Pulling away just enough, he rushes out, “Use me, darlin’. Let yourself feel good.” 

“But… I don’t want to hurt you–”

He groans, mouth already back on you, hurriedly mumbling against your skin, “Fuckin’ christ, make it hurt, darlin’. I don’t care just…” He trails off, too impatient to continue talking.

Still unsure at first, you only lightly hold your hand on his head, unsure of what to do. In that moment he moves the hand not holding you down to place a finger onto your clit, mouth still on you and tongue still greedily moving in you. The simultaneous pressure makes you let out a loud moan, your body reacting instantly as your grip in his hair tightens, pushing his face deeper against you without you even realizing. At that, Joel begins moaning into you, the vibration only bringing your orgasm closer. You think you hear a faint, muffled, “Good girl,” but you’re too distracted to hear clearly.

You can feel your orgasm coming closer, and Joel seems to notice too as he replaces his tongue with the two fingers he had in you earlier, curling them with accuracy into you. The feeling causes a frantic mix of whimpers and moans to leave your mouth, back arching and eyes screwed shut as you repeat his name like a mantra. 

Looking up at you, face glistening and lips swollen, he says, “Look at me.” The words don’t process in your mind right away, and he withdraws his fingers from you to grab your attention, the loss causing you to look down at him with frustration. He smirks, continuing the circles on your clit. “Need you to look at me when you come, baby.”

You shake your head. “I–I can’t, it’s…”

“You can,” he says. “Need to feel you come on my mouth, darlin. Let me see you.”

Face screwed in pleasure, you whine out an agreement and try to keep yourself looking at him. He smiles and brings his face down to continue moving his tongue inside you while still looking up at you. 

His thumb on your clit mixed with his tongue devouring you, and the look in his eyes makes your orgasm begin to wash over you. “Oh my– fucking… Joel,” you cry out, whimpering and holding his face closer to you with your hands tangled in his hair. He replaces his tongue with his fingers again so he can place his mouth on your clit, sucking as you ride out your high on his face, your thighs closing around his head. Your body shakes through your orgasm, ending with you squirming in overstimulation as Joel begins to slow his motions towards your end. 

Your orgasm dying down, you let your head fall back, eyes shut as you slowly try to control your breathing. You feel Joel take his mouth off you, and you open your eyes halfway to find him bringing the two fingers that were inside you to his mouth, tasting you. The sight makes you clench in want, surprised at your body’s response to him still after everything.

He brings his body up to hover his face over yours, one hand smoothing your probably wild hair with a lazy smile on his face. “Did so good for me, darlin’,” he says, peppering kisses across your face while you shut your eyes and take deep breaths in and out. “My sweet girl.”

His praise makes you pull his face down to yours, hungrily moving your lips against his, making you notice the taste of yourself. He gives a soft hum before bringing one hand to cup the side of your face, deepening the kiss.

Suddenly you pull away and rush out, “I need you.”

His breathing stutters at your words. Your words shock even you, your need to feel him filling all of your senses—your body aching for it.

“Darlin’, you sure? We can take a break or stop here completely if you need a second–”

You frantically shake your head, borderline pouting.“No, I’m ready. I promise. I want this. I want you. Joel, please,” your voice ending in a whine.

Joel shuts his eyes, his resolve crumbling before he nods softly. “Okay… okay, don’t worry, I got ya.”

Straightening his body to hover directly over yours, you shift yourself a bit higher on your pillows. Joel reaches down between your thighs and you feel him run his fingers across you. The contact makes you gasp and whine from overstimulation until he gently hushes you. “M’just makin’ sure you’re ready, darlin’. Wanna make sure your body is prepared.”

You nod in understanding. “I am. I promise, Joel. Please…”

He reaches to hold his cock in his hand, the movement making you look to watch him place his cock against your folds, causing you to both let out a groan. The contact makes him screw his eyes shut, seeing you clench around nothing in an effort to soothe your desire. He quickly composes himself, looking at you with a serious face. “M’gonna go slow, but if it hurts, or if you need me to stop at any point, you tell me. Okay?”

You nod wordlessly before he raises an eyebrow and you remember. “Yes,” you say out loud. “I will. I promise I’ll tell you.”

Content with your answer, he notches the head of his cock against your entrance before he slowly pushes himself inside you until only the tip sits in you. “Fuck,” Joel says.

The feeling causes both of you to moan out loud, Joel letting his body fall forward a bit before he catches himself on his elbows, bringing his forehead to yours and the two of you breath into each other's mouths. He pushes his brows together, eyes screwed shut and jaw clenched. “How do you feel?”

Your face twisted in an unknown feeling, you whisper, “I’m okay. It doesn’t hurt, it's just… I’m getting used to it.”

He nods, waiting for your permission to keep going. “You just tell me when you’re ready, okay, darlin’?” 

Nodding, you two stay there for a moment until your body feels more adjusted. “Okay,” you say. “More. Keep going.”

Pushing himself further into you a bit, the fullness you feel makes a sharp noise rip from the back of your throat. Joel leans his head into the pillow, turning his head to place kisses in your hair and whisper reassurance. “You’re doin’ good, darlin’. Doin’ so good for me.”

The stretch is what you feel the most—not painful, just uncomfortable from your body not used to any feeling similar to this.

“Does it hurt?” He asks, softly.

“No,” you shake your head sincerely. “It’s just… really thick.” You both feel yourself pulse and clench around his length as you slowly but surely get used to the feeling. 

Guilt builds inside you as you see warmth in his eyes mixed with what looks like discomfort from taking it slow. “I’m sorry,” you say, suddenly feeling yourself wash over with insecurity.

Confused and worried, Joel frantically comforts you. “Hey, hey, hey—darlin’, you do not need to apologize.” You open your mouth to say something about how you feel bad for making him wait, but Joel cuts you off gently, but fiercely, speaking your name with a whisper. “I am completely okay. Fuck… darlin’, I’d wait forever for you. I just want to make sure you feel okay. Don’t worry about me.”

His words ease you enough for you to tell him to continue. He pulls out a bit before pushing in, feeding more of himself inside you. This time, you feel almost no discomfort, pleasure taking over you more and more as he slowly slides himself further.

Your face twists into pleasure, your mouth falling open with a moan. “More.”

Joel falters. “It’s just a bit more, darlin’. We don’t need to rush–”

You cut him off with a whine of frustration, rambling out, “Joel, I'm begging you. It feels good but I need more…”

He groans but still doesn’t give you what you want, so you keep going. “I feel so full. I need more… it’s not enough. I need to feel all of you, fuck. Baby, please–”

The moment he hears the affectionate name, it’s as if whatever was holding him back just broke and he pushes the last bit of him, crying out your name. “Fuckin’ hell, darlin’.”

“Oh my god,” you let out. Your mouth drops open in shock and bliss at the feeling of him completely inside you. Joel recovers enough to say, “Fuck, you feel okay?”

You frantically nod your head, hands gripping his shoulders tightly before you beg. “Please, move. I need you to move.”

Your voice trailing off into a string of moans, Joel begins to slowly withdraw himself from you until only the head sits in you before he slowly pushes back inside until you feel the base of his cock flushed against you.

The feeling consumes and overwhelms you. How intense and how good it feels sends your mind reeling—the reality of finally feeling all of him.

“Fuck, baby. You feel so good, god–my sweet girl… So fuckin’ good, darlin’.”

You whimper and squirm at the praise, hands beginning to roam over his back and dig in as he brings one hand down between the two of you, fingers settling on your clit as he begins to rub circles over you.

“I–holy fuck–” 

You can’t find the words to speak properly, your voice coming out in broken sentences mixing with moans. Joel understands, feeling your body’s response to him inside you. “How does it feel?”

You’re distracted until he brings his mouth on yours, kissing you fiercely before pulling away. “Tell me how you feel, baby.”

Eventually you find the strength to speak. “Good… you feel so fucking good Joel.” You break off in another moan as he takes himself halfway out before pushing back in with a hard thrust—wrapping his arm underneath one of your knees and allowing himself to hit a deeper spot in you that has your vision blurring.

You didn’t think it was possible to feel this good, and a part of you believes that half the reason is because it’s Joel—your already developed feelings for him making the moment bring stubborn tears to your eyes. Noticing this, Joel’s face fills with worry for a moment but you don’t give him the chance to speak.“It doesn’t hurt. It feels so good, Joel, I just…”

Understanding, Joel leans his forehead on yours. “I know,” he whispers. He repeats praises in your ear of, “You feel so good, baby. Fuckin’ perfect, god–”

Increasing the pace of his thrusts in time with the movements of his finger on your clit makes your body feel like it’s been lit on fire, a loud moan leaving you as you feel yourself reaching your end.

Frantically, you start saying, “Fuck , Joel… I’m gonna–”

Nodding his head against your forehead, he says, “I know, baby. I feel you clenchin’ down on me– fuckin’ christ you feel so…”

He trails off, encouraging your orgasm with his words and the pleasure he’s bringing you. “Want you to come for me, baby. Need to feel you come ‘round my cock. Need to hear you say my name darlin’, please–”

You clench down around him, body writhing as you arch into him, a cry leaving your throat. You repeat his name like a mantra in between loud moans and sounds you didn’t know you were capable of.

Joel helps you through it, keeping pace with his thrusts and thumb on your clit. “That’s it, darlin’. Doin’ so good for me. My good girl. Fuck, I–”

He cuts himself as his face screws up in pleasure at the feeling of you fluttering around him. Having come down a bit from your own orgasm, you encourage him, saying, “Joel, I want to feel you. I need it so bad, please…”

His thrusts become more staggered and unhinged, a whimper leaving his throat at your words. “M’comin’, I’m–fuck,” he says, crying out your name. Pushing himself deep inside you, he stops as his body shakes from his own orgasm, your name falling off his lips like a sinful prayer as his head falls into your neck.

The warm feeling of him finishing inside you overwhelms you. His moans and grunts in your ear fill your mind until all your senses become taken over by Joel.

His own orgasm finishing, Joel lets his body weight fall more on you, his exhaustion causing his strength to falter as he struggles to hold himself over you. You welcome the weight, relishing in the feeling of how heavy and big he is, letting it take over you in a wave of comfort.

The two of you lay there for a moment, the only sounds being the both of you trying to regulate your breathing mixed with quiet murmurs of praise coming from Joel. Your hands move from the grip they held on his back over to his hair, holding his body impossibly closer to you. Your touch causes his body to completely relax, allowing himself to sag against you as he lays his head in the crook of your neck, turning his face to press lazy kisses along your jaw and cheek. 

Having come back down a bit, Joel lifts his head until his face hovers over yours, eyes staring into yours with a half-smile on his face.

Your expression matching his, you whisper a shy, quiet, “Hi.”

His smile grows, a soft laugh leaving his lips. “Hi.”

You pull his face down to bring his lips to yours for a deep, slow kiss, feeling Joel melt at your touch. He lets out a soft moan into your mouth at the kiss, shifting his hand to tangle into your hair.

A few moments later, he pulls away from you and looks down between the two of you. “I’m gonna take myself out, okay?”

You nod, fingers running through his hair in mindless motions as he slowly retracts himself from inside you. The friction causes you to let out a whine that he quiets with a kiss. Having taken himself out, you both sigh at the loss of contact. Some voice in your head wishes he could stay in you forever. That you needed to feel every part of him on and in you for as long as possible.

Pressing soothing kisses across the side of your head, he pulls away and begins to stand up from the bed. The action makes your stomach drop, suddenly feeling the most vulnerable you had felt all night.

Is he going to leave?

Noticing your worried look, Joel presses a knee into the bed to lean over you, his voice soft. “I’m just goin’ to get somethin’ to help clean you up, okay?”

You slowly nod and don’t take your eyes off him as you watch him walk into your bathroom and hear him opening a cabinet, followed by the sounds of water running. He walks back into your bedroom holding a small rag he had slightly damp with water. 

Sitting down on the bed beside you, he takes the rag and begins to wipe between your thighs. The contact makes you hiss, Joel giving you a soft wince in apology at the overstimulation. Finished, he pulls away the rag and squeezes your hand before getting back up to discard the rag in your laundry basket that sits in your bathroom. 

You let your eyes look around your room as the reality of the night sets in you, feeling nothing but bliss.

Joel walks back over to your side of the bed, reaching down to grab his boxers and pull them over his hips before he gestures downstairs. “M’gonna go fill us both up some glasses of water. You go ‘head and do what you need to do before bed, alright?”

You nod, sitting up and letting Joel help pull you up. Standing up with two feet, you stumble for a moment, thankful Joel was holding onto your hands still. You slowly look up at him to find him fighting a smirk on his face. 

You scoff playfully. “Don’t look so proud, Miller.”

He barks out a laugh at that, waiting for you to find your balance before letting go of you. “No idea what you mean, sweetheart.”

You roll your eyes in response, heading into the bathroom to get ready for bed while Joel heads down into the kitchen. When you come out, you find him setting your waters on the tables either side of your bed. 

At the sound of the door opening, he turns to you with a small smile as you grab and pull your underwear on. Searching through your drawers for a shirt to wear to sleep, you’re interrupted by the sound of Joel clearing his throat behind you. You turn around to find him nervously rubbing the back of his neck, holding out his shirt for you. 

Raising one eyebrow, you ask, “... Do you want me to wear that?”

He shyly nods at you before you grab the shirt and pull it over you. “Didn’t take you for the shy type,” you tease.

He lets out a low laugh at that, grabbing your hand wordlessly and bringing you to bed after you take a big drink of water. Laying down first, he guides your body to lay next to his. You settle your face on his chest and wrap an arm over his stomach as he puts an arm around you to pull you in closer to him. 

The feeling of his warmth makes you realize the exhaustion you feel, your eyes beginning to fall shut.

“How do you feel?”

You look up to find him with an unsure look on his face. “Amazing,” you respond. 

Chewing on the inside of his cheek, he takes his free arm to hold your hand that lays on his stomach, looking down at your intertwined fingers and fidgeting. “Was it, um… was it good for you?”

For the first time in the entire night, you notice the uncertainty in Joel’s voice and expression. The whole night, he was focused so much on making you feel good, that you didn’t think that he would be equally vulnerable to the experience.

The realization makes you straighten a little bit, lifting your head and looking at him more directly. His eyes settle on yours, brows drawn together and raised a bit in the middle. “Joel. You were perfect. Tonight was everything I could’ve ever wanted and more.”

His eyes flit between yours, checking for any sign of a lie in you. You move your hand that holds his to wrap your pinky finger around his. The two of you still maintaining eye contact, you see his lips quirk up at the corner before his face relaxes, letting you know he believes you. “Good,” he breathes out. “That’s all I want, darlin’.”

You settle your chin on his chest. “What about you? Was it good for you?”

He gives you a dramatic look as if you were crazy, making you let out a small giggle. “Baby… this has been the best night of my damn life.” You laugh at his response before he continues. “And trust me, that’s a long ass time to compare to.”

Your cheeks hurt from the smile that graces your face, Joel matching your expression with his own smile before he leans in to place a slow and drawn out kiss to your lips. Pulling away, he looks at you and notices the heaviness of your eyelids. “C’mon, sweet girl. Let’s go to sleep, okay?”

Nodding, you move your head to rest on his chest once more, feeling his heartbeat against your ear. Settling into him more comfortably, he moves to wrap his arms around you the way he did a few minutes ago. Pressing one final kiss to the top of your head, he whispers, “G’night, darlin’.”

Eyes closed, your exhaustion pulling you away already, you only offer a hum in response—feeling pure content for the first time in your life as the thump of his heartbeat lulls you to sleep.

reblogs and comments are appreciated! i hope you all enjoy <3 follow @writtenbynic and turn on notifications for updates!

a/n: honesty hour lol. i really was sick, but i also was nitpicking about this chapter for way too long because i wanted it to be perfect. i just needed to rip the bandaid off and post it. hope you guys like it! 🏷️: @dendulinka6 @suzysface @koshkaj-blog @orcasoul @emmasveinyahhdih @thatoneperson38747 @silksepia @orodaeh @ithinkimokeei @emnull0 @warriorkarol @luvwanda @pascal-mynightlyobsession @grayandthyme @crlsummer @ashleyfilm @darling-imobsessed @tjohn63 @lizzie-cakes @vanishintoyoubby @keileighr if anyone else wants to be tagged, or if i missed any, then please let me know!

[aloesarchives]

Domestic Headcanons W/ Toji, Megumi, Tsumiki, and Mama!Reader

TW/Warnings: Profanity, Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, Pregnancy, Mention of Sperm but not sexual, unhinged crack, too long(LMK if anything else needs to be tagged)

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her (Usage of Mama, Wife, Mom, Mother)

Word Count: 10k words

This headcanon is paired with this one right here. This can be stand alone for general/modern au. But this one mostly revolves around my Toji Lives AU.

Also, I'll be posting either my Toji/Megumi/Reader mini series or Suguru/Satoru/Reader series this week. Here's the form if you wanted to be tagged in my works. Please let me know if something's up with it.

[!!Edited and Proofread! 3/27/2024 11:48 pm CST!!]

The married life with Toji isn’t any different from prior to marriage. You two live in a fairly spacious apartment for Tokyo Standards and well furnished on top of that. 

The basic routine of you and Toji as followed: Toji wakes up and gets ready in 10 minutes, gets the coffee going or anything you drink/eat for breakfast, you wake and get ready for work, you and Toji eat breakfast together for a bit, Toji gives you your work bag and lunch, gives you a kiss and sends you out the door on time, cleans the dishes and table once you leave, looks to see if there’s anything you’re low on or out of and makes a list for it, Toji does some house chores before leaving to go run errands, goes to run said errands and buy some groceries, comes home starts meal prepping, you come home as soon as he’s finished cooking, both of you eat together, then chilling on the couch together after cleaning up, Toji forces you to go to bed, does your nightly care routine with you while brushing your teeth, then pulls you into bed where both of you are knocked out instantly.

House Husband Toji and Working Wife (Y/N) dynamic, I don’t make the damn rules. Well it makes sense as you have a sustainable and consistent job that pays comfortably for minimal work. Honestly, Toji doesn’t mind it at all but you both established your roles in the relationship but help out whenever possible. In fact, he loves being a stay-at-home husband. He gets to do his hobbies and chores without distraction, having a piece of mind, cooking food with you, etc. Highkey loves being domesticated.

While yes, he does get an occasional high paying job/bounty from Shui, they happen a couple times a month. But even then it’s few and far in between. You don’t mind working, your job pays you enough to not take any overtime and you never work the weekends. Plus you get a raise and bonus once in a while so you’re not scrambling to find a second job. Also, it’s worth it since Toji takes care of your shared apartment and you. 

Both of you are financially stable to the point of comfort. Like only paying utilities because you and Toji own the apartment. Not having to worry about buying food or paying on time. Not taking up extra hours or shifts to just live. It’s a comfortable and stress-free environment you and Toji have created for yourselves.

Doesn’t understand the fuss about men not being stay at home material and it’s a woman’s job. He just thinks those guys can’t take care of themselves and will force someone to baby them under the guise of tRadItIonAlIsm or some bullshit. He understands if both have their jobs and work to split the house chores. It’s not a luxury everyone has and he knows he’s in the small percentage of people who get to stay home while their spouse works. If it works in the relationship, it works, Toji says. It might not work for some people but you working and Toji staying home works for your relationship. If not, it has made it healthy because there aren’t severe or frustrating arguments about house chores, errand runs, cooking, maintenance, home management. 

You do anything in order to help out Toji because that’s your home too. Therefore, your living space you share and it’s your responsibility to at least take care of it. After work, you text Toji if there is anything you need to pick up or do for him while you’re out. 75% of the time he says there’s nothing you have to do, but the 25% is Toji asking you to pick up the dry cleaners, some food items he forgot to get while out, check if there’s a sale going on, or buying detergent and stain remover. Also text with a:

‘Doll, can you actually grab a few things from the supermarket? I’ll send the list to you.’

‘Hon, would you be able to pick up my jacket from the dry cleaners? Thank you’

When you say yes or of course, he’s hitting you with the:

‘Thank you, Sweet Girl. I appreciate all you do.’

‘Stay safe, (Y/N). Call me if anything happens. Love you, Baby’

Talks about buying a house and having a family happen a lot more frequently since the two of you got married. You always wanted to have a family of your own but wanted to wait for a good man to be a good father because you can choose a husband but your children can’t choose their father. But you knew Toji would step up when it happened. Toji didn’t think too far into his future but he knows he wants to have a family with you and grow old together. You changed his mind that he was okay with having a family and doing all that it takes to be a loving father and husband. As if he doesn’t do that already. 

That and you two talked about how your genetics would make the most beautiful and good looking babies. Toji would say he wants your kids to have your smile and personality while you told him you want them to have his eyes and nose. This is one of those late night talks you have with him that you absolutely love. 

You have an ungodly amount of money saved up to pay the house off in full or less than two years. You decided on one where it was a mix of modern and traditional. It was within walking distance of multiple subway and train stations while not being near the busy parts of the city. It’s in a more quiet suburb with good schools and nature. It’s a big home with the exterior of a traditional home but the interior is a little more modern. The main building is two stories and is the actual house, the building connecting to it is for guests, training/workout room/and a meeting room. The walls that surround the property are tall and sturdy. It looks like a mansion but feels more homey as you two start to make it your own.

So when you tell Toji you’re ready to have a baby, the man goes all in. Trying to watch your cycle and listens to the doctor in increasing his chances of getting you pregnant. Man looks up recipes that increase your fertility rate and balance out your hormones. Thinks about checking his sperm count but you declined saying Toji hasn’t done anything to decrease his numbers.

He definitely got good aim because it didn’t take long to get pregnant. After like 2-3 months of trying, it happened. You missed your period by a week and you decided to get a pregnancy test. You got the double lines and were excited to show Toji. He went to drop off your jacket to get it fixed and came home to find you sitting at the table with a napkin. You tell him to sit and he complies with a bit of concern. You gesture to the napkin and he picks up to see the positive text in front of him. He asks are you for real and you just nod. He pulls you into his laps and holds you while saying thank you and I’m going to be a dad.

Becomes protective of you instantly. Having morning sickness? He gets you a towel and some medicine. Sensitive to certain foods or smells? He will change them to your liking. Need him to do something for you? He’s already a flight of stairs ahead of you. He doesn’t want to stress you and the baby out so he’s doing everything. 

As trimesters progress, the more protective and conscious he comes. Once you start showing, say goodbye to carrying items, doing some household chores, running errands, or fucking walking because this man will NOT let you do them. Is at your beck and call for anything and will become scary if people give you a hard time or look at you funny. Toji told you if your boss gives you a hard time, call him and he’ll talk to your boss with no fear or hesitation whatsoever. Once almost killed a man because he accidentally bumped into you. Toji had this look of death in his eyes as he grabbed the guy by the collar and forced him to apologize to you. Make sure the guy actually apologizes too. Walking? Who is she? You are only walking a couple of feet before he says ‘nah’ and picks you up to carry you. You tell him you can walk but it falls on deaf ears. Then you get concerned about being heavy for Toji. The man has never been more offended in his life. He looks at you, dead in the eyes, and says: “What kind of husband am I for not being able to comfortably carry my beautiful and pretty pregnant wife? If I can’t carry you, I need you to kill me, (Y/N).” You just get used to him carrying you around.

Always find a seat for you on a bus or the train. Will scare a guy who isn’t tired from work to give you the seat. Always hold your hand during the rides.

Talk to your bump every night. Hands on your stomach, face unbearably close to it, kneels on the floor or lies in bed to talk to it as you run your fingers through his hair. He’ll say some things that make you laugh but he mostly say sweet and warm things to your baby as he just wants to love and protect them. Definitely says:

“You know your mama is the prettiest and most beautiful woman out there? You’re so lucky to have her because you will be unconditionally loved and cared for. How do I know this? Because your mama loves me too, Kiddo.”

“Hey, be nice to mama. She’s not having the best time so I need you to go easy on her. Please, little one.”

“Hi, this is your old man speaking to you. I don’t care whether you’re a boy or girl. I will always love you no matter what. I wanna meet you soon.”

Does the thing where he lifts up your bumps to alleviate some of the weight for a bit and smiles when you relax into him.

When he touches your bump and feels a kick, he is so happy that his head is glued to your bump so he can feel it. 

Buys your cravings whenever and whatever it is. It could be late at night and you’re asking him to get you your egregious food combo. He doesn’t understand your cravings but will not complain to you until it’s a straight up abomination. THEN, he just cooks you anything you want because he’s lowkey scared about your cravings affecting your health.

Daily/Hourly reminders of how beautiful and gorgeous you are. Body worshiping and praising, especially since you are carrying his child. The amount of reassurance and sincerity that comes from his words makes you cry a lot, and it’s not because of your hormones. He’s so sweet and loving with his words towards you, it makes you fall in love with him all over again.

Goes to every appointment with you and never fucking misses one. Actually, he is the one to remind you about them. Has this soft look in his eyes as he looks at the ultrasound seeing your baby. Asks for at least two copies so he can frame one of them and hang it somewhere in the house.

Doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl, as long it’s half of you that’s all that matters.

You always tell him your love and appreciation for all that he has done for you and the baby since he has a tendency to push himself a lot more than he has to. A kiss and a hug will do the trick because he goes all soft for you every time. It’s amusing to you how your huge, seemingly intimidating, husband can become a warm melted putty at the snap of your fingers. But then again, you have him wrapped around your finger completely.

Grows more cautious and protected once you go on maternity leave in your final months of the final trimester. Constantly asking how you are feeling that day or hour, grabs everything within arms reach if there is anything you need or could get you, if you need help with everything in general. It’s not the point of overbearing or suffocating, it gets a bit annoying but you know Toji means well. You assume he’s concerned and worried for you and the baby because he is afraid you will have complications during the birth. It’s terrifying to him to know there’s a slight chance you could die while giving birth to your baby and he couldn’t do anything to help you.

So when you DO go into labor, man’s is a bit scared but also prepared with your bag ready in hand. Drives you to the hospital, checks you in, and makes you feel comfortable while giving birth.

Is holding your hand during the whole thing while wiping away the sweat off your forehead and face.

Says encouraging and calming words to keep you focused and at ease. Guides you through deep breaths and keeps you grounded:

“Take a deep breath for me, Honey.”

“You’re doing so good, Mama. So amazing.”

“I’m here with you, Sweet Girl. Keep squeezing my hand. Trust me, it doesn’t hurt. Hold onto me, (Y/N).”

Sheds a few tears when your daughter comes out and starts crying. Kisses your cheek and forehead while praising you for doing a phenomenal job.

Cuts the cord while you’re coming down from your intense birthing process.

Lets you sleep and relax while he cuddles and holds your daughter with his shirt off for skinship.

Once you wake up, he buys you any food you want since you’re not pregnant anymore. Spoon feeds you while saying you did a wonderful job and asking how you feel.

Once you hold your daughter, he’s over the moon. You look so perfect and ethereal the man thanks the gods for blessing him with you as his wife and your daughter, the proof of your love.

Lets you name her since she is a girl and the first-born. You name her Tsumiki because it’s a cute name for a pretty girl. She gets most of her traits from you besides her hair texture. Toji comments that a pretty girl deserves a pretty name because she was birthed by an elegant and demure woman. You chuckle at him and his sappiness but it brings you a certain type of happiness that Toji was expressing this side of himself more comfortably.

Once discharged, gets the car to bring you and your daughter to your new home where she’ll and her sibling(s) grow up.

Lets you have your bonding time with Tsumiki while you’re on your six months maternity leave. He lives to see you hold and carry your daughter around the house.

Takes care of everything in the house and helps you out during your postpartum. Reminds you of your beauty, that he still loves you and your body, how grateful he is for everything you’ve done for giving him this life.

Gets the hang of parenting faster than you did. Toji already knows how to burp, change, feed, and bathe your daughter.

Lets you sleep and rest more when Tsumiki cries at night by getting up to calm her down himself. Ends up sleeping in the rocking chair with her on his chest.

Tries to play and entertain her as much as he can. Toji is more of a stuffed animal guy than dolls because they’re more inclusive and genderless. But he will buy dolls for Tsumiki when she asks for them once she's old enough.

Tears up when she takes her first steps as she tries to walk towards both of you.

Her first words were Papa for sure but then Mama two weeks later. 

Tsumiki is a fairly calm and happy baby. Moves around but isn’t super hyper and energetic. Very smiley and giggly baby that brights up the room she’s in. Always puts you and Toji in a good mood.

Toji is the type of guy to wait for you to give him the green light for another child. Even though the doctor says you’ve made a good recovery, he ain’t pouncing on you until you tell him so. Your doctor asked if she needed to write a note that you weren’t ready for another baby for some time but you told her you’ll be fine because Toji isn’t THAT TYPE OF GUY. On top of respecting you and your body, Toji highkey wants to have age gaps with your children. Like at least a year and a half or so they can be close in age and grow up together, but also give time for you and him to adjust to being first-time parents.

It was after Tsumiki’s first birthday that you said you wouldn’t mind having another kid. Then Toji and you tried for another kid. Happened fast per usual with minimal effort once again. Toji’s goo is pretty strong lol.

He was there with you when you took the pregnancy test and it had the fable two lines. Hugs you close and is excited to give Tsumiki another sibling.

Unfortunately, your second pregnancy wasn’t as forgiving as your first. In fact, your second child was pretty brutal on you. You were more sensitive to everything and your symptoms multiplied by three. It was a struggle but you managed to pull through but barely.

Hurts Toji a lot because you’re in a lot of discomfort compared to being pregnant with Tsumiki. Steps up tenfold to help out and make things better for you. 

Tsumiki just plays on the floor in her pen as you watch her while dealing with her younger sibling and Toji's making food in the background.

When you both found out it was a boy after a couple of months, you told Toji he can name the baby this time since you did with your first-born. It threw you off a bit when he said Megumi, a name that means blessing. You talked about names before but this was a new one both of you haven’t brought up yet. Perhaps it was a name Toji wanted but forgot to mention

Man, Megumi was a hard pregnancy. He was an energetic one in your womb. Always makes you lose sleep, loss of appetite, or straight up moody. Toji always talked to Megumi, lowkey begging him to be more gentle on you and not be so rough.

Once Megumi was born, you knew that’s Toji kid because he barely took anything from you. The nose, the eyes, the hair, even his small pout, it was all Toji. Toji was crying once again that your son is born but he takes after his old man. Tsumiki was just happy to see the little baby that is her younger brother.

After Megumi, you and Toji decide that this is ENOUGH children for now. Especially since you have two children under the age of three.

Megumi, however, was an interesting baby. Tsumiki likes being held by both you and Toji, she never picked favorites. Megumi, on the other hand, was attached to you like glue. Technically, all babies are but Megumi never liked being away from you. Megumi was very clingy when it came to you, his mama. You have to hold him or be in his line of sight if you’re not.

Megumi is a certified mama’s boy. He’s all sweet to you, with his gummy smile and bright big eyes as he laughs when you hold.

His first and only words were Mama for a while until he said Papa.

Megumi becomes fussy and cranky if you’re not in the room. He wants you there when he wakes up, to feed him, change him, bathe him, everything. If Toji has to do it, it will take double the time because Megumi is all uncooperative and resistant to his father’s attempts to care for him. It helps if you’re in the room or nearby then Megumi will behave but if that's because he knows you’re there.

Baby Megumi glares at Toji over your shoulder when you’re making his and Tsumiki’s food. Toji glares at his son's back. As he gets older and can walk, Megumi always runs towards you. Place himself on the couch, floor, chair, any surface he can sit on so he is seated next to you. One time, Toji’s head was in your lap as you watched the news in front of you. Megumi was mad because he was supposed to sit next to you. But Toji was faster than him and sat himself where he’s currently positioned. Tsumiki was in front of the couch playing with her stuffed animals on the floor. Megumi decided to grab his doggy plushie and started hitting Toji’s face with it. Toji yelped while you grabbed Megumi and placed him in your lap. Megumi holds onto you while you and your husband exchange shocked looks.

Megumi purposefully and accidentally cock blocks Toji. It’s explained more in this headcanon here.

It’s exhausting to take care of Megumi because he always wants you and never Toji. It kind of sucks because you want Megumi to bond with Toji more as you also don’t want to neglect Tsumiki as well.

Both of you take turns caring for your two kids. It’s so cute to see Megumi bonding with Toji as Megumi smiles a bit more when he’s with his dad. Tsumiki just likes hugging you and so you hold her ever so dearly.

Tsumiki and Megumi never really fight, which you find odd since it’s common for siblings to fight with each other. That’s when you keep observing and notice Tsumiki will let Megumi have his way even though she didn’t have to. Though you appreciate her being an older sibling, you have to remind her she can say no to Megumi if she doesn’t want to. Also reminding her to tell you or Toji if anything happens and not feel scared or ashamed for asking for help. 

But Tsumiki is such a sweet child, she says she doesn’t mind at all when it comes to Megumi. But you brought it up to Toji because you don’t want Megumi to become very spoiled nor do you want Tsumiki to feel it’s okay to disregard her needs. Toji understands your concerns and tries to reassure you that he won’t let that happen as they get older. 

While you were away from work, Megumi snatched Tsumiki’s pillow pet dolphin from her hands and Toji saw all of it. Toji put Megumi in time-out while he comforted Tsumiki. She wasn’t crying but he could tell she would have if he didn’t step in. Toji refrains from yelling and acting out because you told him that’ll strain his relationship with the kids. It’s easier and effective but it has long-term effects that negatively affect the parent-child relationship and the child themselves, something you knew all too well. So Toji is patient with Megumi, telling him it’s not nice to take things that aren’t his, especially when it’s his older sister’s stuff. That he should understand that Tsumiki doesn’t like it when he does and only lets him have them so he wouldn’t get upset. Toji makes Megumi apologize to Tsumiki but Tsumiki already forgave Megumi. 

Toji being patient with his kids is hard and always tests him as a parent. Then he remembers how you told him having a family with him isn’t going to be the easiest thing in the world. But children deserve parents who will love and care for them unconditionally, who will be patient and understanding no matter what, to not make them wish they were someone else in order to please their parents. You didn’t want your children to experience what you did growing up and you believe Toji is someone who will help you make that dream come true. So he continues with his gentle/patient parenting method because he knows it will pay off in the end.

Since you’re going to work most of the day, he’s always the one to take care of them. Toji always takes them to the park or outside so they can run around and be kids. Forces them to go with him to run errands so they can get used to it. Megumi hates this while Tsumiki loves it. After some time, they get used to it and ask Toji to take them on the errand runs. Like going to the local butcher for meat then to the supermarket for everything else. Toji makes this a learning experience for the two by teaching them how to pick and order what they want. He teaches them what each ingredient is and explains why he buys it. Because of this, Megumi and Tsumiki know how to do errands by themselves and get things on the way home from school if Toji texts them to get something. 

Megumi doesn’t admit it but he always follows Tsumiki’s lead. Especially when they start going to the same school together. When Tsumiki gets a fever/cold and can’t go to school, Megumi is a little nervous because he’s going by himself. So Toji had to comfort Megumi that he will be okay and Tsumiki will be proud of him for being able to go by himself.

Tsumiki is a quiet extrovert but Megumi is a raging introvert. Megumi, due to his aloof nature, doesn’t have many friends. You became worried because maybe there was something you weren’t noticing with Megumi. So you went to get Megumi checked out and the doctor ruled it out due to his personality and high intelligence. The doctor says it’s common for some children to prefer their own personal space rather than making friends. Though it does encourage you to have Megumi expose himself to kids around his age so he’s not socially distant.

This is where you and Toji butted heads for a bit. You don’t want to force Megumi into something that he doesn’t want. But Toji wants Megumi to interact with other kids that’s not Tsumiki so he can make friends. Megumi just doesn’t like people who are not his family. That’s the conclusion you both draw in the end.

Jungle gym Toji. Ever since they could crawl, Megumi and Tsumiki have been climbing on Toji like a rock wall. They hang off his arms, hold onto neck, climb onto his back, they’re all over him. Well, Toji is built like a mountain so it feels like they’re climbing Mt. Fuji. Toji isn’t bothered by this at all. In fact, he likes it when his kids are playing with him.

When Toji works out, whether it’s outside in the courtyard or in the workout room, he has the kids nearby playing somewhere. Would definitely ask Megumi and Tsumiki to sit on his back while he does push ups. 

Hides his old weapons in the shed outside the house, he makes the excuse it’s for gardening tools and snow shovels so the kids aren’t curious.

Doesn’t do baby/kiddie talk to his kids. Obviously he’s gentle when he speaks to his kids but he also isn’t going to dumb things down for them. He’ll speak to them like a regular person but has a soft tenderness for children. It’s actually pretty sweet to see it.

The type of man to say to his children, “Isn’t Mama pretty? She is pretty, right?” Saying positive things about you to Megumi and Tsumiki. Then the two will say those lovely words back. You do this with Toji too. Telling the kids “Papa’s strong, right? He’s so cool.” “Papa made us this lovely dinner. Isn’t Papa amazing, you two?” Shit it so cute, I swear.

Speaking of food, Toji makes their lunches. From preschool to high school, he makes Megumi and Tsumiki’s lunches. It’s a challenge as they get older because both have different food preferences but he takes up on it. Just like with your lunch, everyone is in awe and jealous of their food. It’s always something good every time and it always smells good. Yuuji and Nobara ask Megumi if his dad could make them one and the next day Megumi brings two extra bentos for the both of them. Courtesy from Toji himself.

The type of man to make the kids their character bentos and eat the scraps/leftovers. Like the picture where the kid has a cute breakfast while the parent eats the cut out bread and fruit left over.

Family nap time! This is quite common in the Fushiguro household. You come home from work, sometimes earlier than scheduled, to see them laid out on the floor with a blanket underneath them. Sometimes, if the weather is enjoyable, they would nap outside. Toji is holding both kids in his burly arms while Tsumiki and Megumi hold each other’s hands.  It’s so adorable that you have multiple pictures saved in an album in the house. You would join them as well. A family napping pile.

Speaking of which, you have many albums from over the years as a family. Up until the present day, you have so many pictures of your children and your husband having their little family moments. Some wholesome, some embarrassing, others are cool photos or stolen shots. I don’t know if this fits Toji but I’m projecting here: he’ll have photos of your family throughout the years on the walls and tables of your home. But mainly, the ones he loves the most are the portraits of the family. They’re five of them. The first one is of you and Toji, the second one is you two with baby Tsumiki, the third is you holding baby Megumi as Tsumiki is standing with Toji, the fourth is the four of you with the kids who are six and seven, then the fifth one is taken from present day where the kids are teenagers while you and Toji haven’t aged at all. All of them have you wearing formal wear/Kimonos. He gets these personally commissioned and they’re 17 inches(43.18 cm) by 14 inches(35.56 cm), which is fairly large. 

Since you work 6 hours of the day, Toji always takes the kids to and from school. It’s not a problem for him nor the kids as they know you are working and making mula for them. The problem is, a lot of parents believe he’s a single dad. More so, the moms of the other students. Toji wears his wedding band on his LEFT FINGER that’s SHINING when the sun hits it and people still couldn’t take a hint. As he picks up the kiddos, a lot of moms go up to talk to him to pass time. He knows most of them are trying to flirt with him, very few only genuinely talk to him. Toji doesn’t play games when it comes to his status and is very blunt if the woman can’t get the message.

“I have a wife.”

“I’m married.”

“The love of my life and the mother of my children is working right now.”

Bro, some of these moms are jumping hurdles just to get a chance with Toji. Toji would keep on flashing his wedding band and they are fucking delusional to think they still got a shot. Someone thought he was a widower even though you were ALIVE AND WELL. Toji felt his eyes twitch as he scowled at the accusation. Toji legit wanted to push her but can’t because he’s a big guy and all. ‘Fuck, I can’t put my hands on a woman. I’ll have (Y/N) do it instead.’ Toji tells you about this and he is more mad than you are about it, which you don’t blame him for. On Friday afternoon, school’s out and the parents are picking up the kids. Tsumiki waits for Megumi outside his classroom door as they always walk out together to get picked up by Toji. As they walked out, they were surprised to see you with Toji in your work clothes. They went into a full on sprint in your direction and you crouched down to hug them both. After giving each other a good squeeze, they hugged Toji. The look on the woman’s face when she saw you was priceless. Tsumiki was hugging Toji while Megumi was reaching for you and you took him in your arms. You turn around and feign a friendly smile her way with such an elegant but dominant introduction. 

“Oh hi! I’m (Y/N). You never saw me here since I work as a (occupation). Toji takes care of the kids when I’m away working. But I come every now and then when I get off early. Thanks for keeping my husband company! Though, you shouldn’t press on a married man when he refuses your advances. I mean, it’s not like his wife and the mother of his children has resources when most of the population doesn't. So, try to refrain yourself from stepping into the deep end, Dear. It was nice knowing you!”

Toji thought that was hot af. Tsumiki was hugging Toji’s neck because she was tired while Megumi glared at the woman. After that, no woman ever approached Toji after that.

 FAMILY OUTINGS!!! Ugh, you always have one every weekend with your family. The favorites are the zoo and the park. Megumi on Toji’s shoulders while Tsumiki holds both you and Toji’s hands, she swings in-between the two of you. You go to all the exhibits your children want to go to. Tsumiki likes the marine enclosures while Megumi prefers more of the forest and savanna ones. You never could forget the way your son slightly bounces on his dad’s shoulders when he sees an elephant. He lets out a gasp of awe while calling out to you, “Mama mama, look! Look at the elephant!” “I can see it, Baby. You like elephants, Gumi?” “Yeah!” “What about you, Tsumiki-dear?” “I think they’re cool, Mama.” Toji tries to feed the animals but the animals are so scared of him like he is the most dangerous one which is true. This also goes for festivals as well, wandering the stalls and food stands. Toji winning every game you stop by and getting prizes his kids want, if his kids want it he’ll get it. The whole day is fun but exhausting once you come home. Toji carries the kids home along with the family bag. The kids are knocked out and easy to tuck in  as you and Toji decompress.

As the kids get older and mature, it’s easier to go places like Kyoto. Megumi and Tsumiki are more of exploring and sight-seeing individuals, which makes it easy on you and Toji so you don’t have to spend a lot of money to do those extravagant things. They just want to experience the surroundings and life without sticking out too much. They like the trips when you all stay at a Ryokan Onsen, it’s relaxing. Especially for Megumi since he’s away from Gojo, Itadori, and Kugisaki. He loves his teacher and classmates but they can be a handful to deal with. Once they get older, they have school and you and Megumi have missions so these family outings happen less. But if everyone’s home, you four go out and do whatever depending on the weather. Spring and early summer are good times of the year because the cherry blossoms are in bloom and the weather is pleasant. You usually go out and have a picnic when the trees are blossoming. It’s simple but sweet to get together so your kids will have some memories they can look back on fondly.

There is this scenario that I can’t stop thinking about but it’s Toji coded: After a day of family bonding, Toji is standing in the train while you and your kids are sitting. It was full but not crowded. During one of the stops, Tsumiki ends up giving her seat to a pregnant woman who’s around her late stages of the 2nd trimester. Toji pets her head as she stands next to him, holding onto his pants as you send a sweet approving smile her way. She sends one back as she grips onto Toji to steady herself. Megumi is in our lap, completely gone into the world of dream as he clutches closer to you. The stop before the one you all get off, Tsumiki helps the pregnant lady up and walk her towards the door. The lovely lady thanks her, gives her a piece of paper to her family bakery which your family become regulars later on, before waving at her and you two. Mouthing ‘You have a wonderful daughter.' You and Toji glance at each other and smile. As your stop approaches, Tsumiki asks Toji if she can carry Megumi. He asks why and she replies, “Because Mama’s tired and I can carry Megumi for her.” Toji glances down at you and see the droopiness as they flutter to keep themselves open. He crouches down, pets Tsumiki on the head, saying she is a kind and sweet kid but he will take care of it. He asks her to give him your bag while he exchanges it for his jacket. Tsumiki places his jacket around you and Toji tells her to get into your lap. She does and you wrap your free arm around her. The next thing she knows, he’s carrying you in both of his arms while you hold your children. Once the train doors open, the incoming passengers are met with a towering man holding his sleeping wife and kids in his arms. They part to make way for him and he WALKS the whole way home. His arms never tired or aching. Tsumiki smiles up at him and comments how cool and strong he is, “You’re always strong and cool, Papa.” He just chuckles in his whole deep, simp-worthy, DILF voice before crouching down to let her stand since she grabbed the house keys. She unlocks the door and holds it open for him. They take off their shoes as Toji places you and Megumi on the couch while Tsumiki gets her Sanrio blanket to place it over you and her brother. You wake up an hour later to Toji cooking dinner as Tsumiki uses her color pencils on her coloring book. You wake up Megumi and have dinner together as a family.

Has no problem carrying you and his children in his arms. Like he can carry a 8 year old Tsumiki and a 7 year old Megumi like it’s nothing. He can carry you, Tsumiki and Megumi around without getting tired. You do the trend where Toji is holding you, Megumi and Tsumiki as kids then you retake the same picture but when the two are in their late teens. The point of those pictures were meant to show Toji is still strong; if not, stronger after becoming a father. If the kids fall asleep on the couch while watching a movie, he’s carrying them to their beds. They did their homework late at night on the kitchen table and are too tired to go to their rooms, he will take them to their beds no problem. You fell asleep on the couch because you came home extremely late from work or a mission. Toji is getting you to bed with him using his oversized shirt as your PJs. When Megumi, Yuuji and Nobara are out cold from their sleepover, Toji covers them with a huge blanket and gives them each a pillow.

I discuss this a little bit in this but I’ll expand upon it here. Megumi and Tsumiki are way less traumatized. Megumi has sass and is aloof but that’s his personality. The reality is, Megumi isn’t as withdrawn or quick to make assumptions about people. He seems reserved but his walls aren’t thick or tall. He’s not going to summon Mahoraga in every death situation but just sometimes uses it as a last resort because he hasn't pushed himself to his limits. It’s more of the lack of knowledge behind his technique since you and Toji can only know so much. Plus you and Toji, specifically Toji, aren’t letting the Zen’in clan be near your children. Tsumiki also isn’t inclined to act more mature and take on adult responsibilities. She is allowed to be a kid and have a childhood, same goes with Megumi. Plus, the two are raised in a loving household. Is it a traditional one? Nope, not in the slightest. Their mom works while their dad stays at home. But it's a functional, healthy, content family. You and Toji have tried to set good examples for your children on love, relationships, and the process of communicating. There are some pitfalls every now and then. Yet Megumi and Tsumiki have seen honesty, patiences, and openness when you and Toji talk things out. 

Plus they know the rule you and Toji have: never fight in front of the kids. Matters between you and your husbands are between you two only. You never wanted to drag your children into the argument themselves. Obviously, when they are younger, you have to explain to them that you and Toji weren’t on the same page and are mad at each other. As they get older, you explain what the argument/conversation was about transparently. Megumi and Tsumiki also notice how after you and Toji clear up things the both of you never made snide remarks about each other in the slightest. This helps the kids out a lot because they never felt like walking on eggshells. That’s why Tsumiki and Megumi never really worried about you and Toji splitting over bad blood. They know you and Toji aren’t going to stay stubborn for long and make up no matter the circumstances. But there was an argument that both of them never can forget. They didn’t witness it themselves but they knew it was the worst argument you both had, and this happened when Tsumiki and Megumi were TEENAGERS. It lasted for a WHOLE DAY, the longest you two have been in the waters of the aftermath. The two of them wanted to say something but they knew better when you and Toji told them to not involve your affairs. It was worrying them to the point Megumi asked Tsumiki if this would create a rift. However, being the older sister she is, says the both of you will work through it. And she was right when the two of them came home to see you and Toji on the engawa wrapped up in each other’s arms with a blanket over you both.

Tsumiki loves the flowers and plants in your garden beyond the courtyard. When you take her outside and show her the pretty flowers and plants, she has this sparkle in her eyes as you touch and hold the flowers up to her. As she gets older, she spends most of her time in the garden as you are sitting under the tree with your blanket keeping the dirt away from you. When you mentioned to Toji the garden would look better if there were more plant diversity, the man is handing you a list of your favorite plants and flowers you want. The next few days to weeks, the plants you wanted are already in your garden and blending in well with your home. He is also doing this legally, and doesn't want to be a bio-terrorist by accident.

Toji does this with Tsumiki too. She had this book about flowers from her school’s library and told him that those flowers were pretty and nice. She kept drawing them, saying they would look good in the garden. The next week, there was a bush of them in her favorite spot. Your garden becomes the Garden of Eden with the amount of plant life you and Tsumiki bring in. You do basic gardening but Tsumiki and Toji have the green thumbs in the family. They’re the ones doing maintenance on the garden. Mostly Toji since Tsumiki goes to school and isn’t always home. 

Toji does all the planting, replotting, mulching, everything a garden needs. The type to cut the hedges into a perfect shape because it fills his ego and makes him productive. Like one time, Megumi brings over Yuuji and Nobara to hangout and they see Toji cutting the hedges into a cool dragon. Toji wipes the sweat off his forehead to see the fruits of his labor, smirking to himself saying, “I’m so fucking good at this. I’m literally the best.”

Megumi lets his Shikigami out into the garden because they like to hang out outside. The only ones allowed in the house are his divine dogs because Toji doesn't want to see a huge owl or elephant in the living room.

Come to think of it, you and Tsumiki are the main ones who decide what goes in and out of the house. The flowers and the garden were just an example. Furniture, appliances, the color of the blinds and curtains, the interior and exterior, hell everything at this point. If you and Tsumiki made a comment about the appearance of something and it started with the words if, what, wonder, he’s already pulling the catalog for ideas. It’s mostly curiosity but if both you and Tsumiki bring it up, he’s changing it to your liking. Megumi never understands this because he’s the “it is what it is” or “I’m fine with it.” Megumi would be visiting home from school and sees Toji rearranging some of the furniture or building something from scratch in the backyard and he doesn’t question it.

Speaking of which, besides the appliances/photos/silverware/complicated items, almost everything in the house is made by him or customized by him. Tsumiki and Megumi’s rooms? Toji made them into their liking. The main bedroom? All Toji’s work. Not one spot in this house hasn’t been adjusted or changed by Toji. That’s why you credited your house to being the perfect home, all because of Toji. You always remind him that his work is much appreciated around this house. He’ll just smirk but you can see the way his ears fade into a pink rose color. He loves it when you say stuff like that to him. IF the kids say it to him, his grin is stuck on his face for a whole 24 hours.

THE HANGOUT HOUSE! You know how there’s always that one friend where almost every hangout occurs at their home? That’s Megumi, it’s literally him. Technically since Yuuji permanently lives in the dorms and Kugisaki used to live in the countryside, Megumi is the only person in the trio to have an official home. They pass by it a lot when they go exploring or hanging out. Megumi never said anything but the two notice how he stares at it for some time. Then some shenanigans happen and they had to take cover in Megumi’s home. Mind you, Yuuji and Nobara were looking at Megumi like he committed a war crime when he b-lined to the house. And they know it’s a nice house. They were yelling at Megumi saying they were trespassing and they’ll be in some deep shit if they get caught. But Megumi yells at them to trust him as he opens one of the doors. Then Yuuji and Nobara start begging him to not get them killed because they finally see that the home is a literal MANSION. They think they’re cooked by whomever lives here. But from Megumi’s reaction, they’re wondering if Megumi knows the person that lives here. Then when they go inside the actual home, they slide off their shoes and walk to what’s the common area of the house(kitchen/living room). Then Yuuji notices one of the photos and sees kid Megumi and three other people. Nobara shoves herself to see it and they both turn around to Megumi grabbing a pitcher of some sort of drink out of the fridge. “YOU LIVE HERE, FUSHIGURO!?!?” “Oi, not so loud! My sister isn’t home yet but my parents are so quiet.” They don’t meet Toji here but later on because he was doing something with Shui. But you pop in and the students instantly recognize you. You force Megumi to show them around the house and they are in absolute awe. The moment they see his cool ass room, this house is their default hangout spot.

Sleepovers happen often, Megumi doesn’t want them to but you insist since he could just use one of the bigger guest bedrooms or his own room if he wanted. They stay up watching movies, shows, or watching youtube videos or documentaries just because. They do the laughing challenge to see if Megumi actually laughs. He does but fewer far in between. 

Toji embarrasses the hell out of Megumi. You don’t purposefully but by accident. Yuuji and Nobara would see Toji going into the kitchen to get a glass of water, see the color drain from Megumi’s face, then ask Toji about anything relating to Megumi. Then Toji spills the TEA on Megumi, it’s so funny. If Megumi won’t spill then his dad definitely would. Megumi’s face becomes like a tomato when anything about him comes out of his dad’s mouth.

Your house is stocked up on everything. There’s nothing in this house you wouldn’t have. Nobara needed some period products and you literally gave her a basket full of them. If she needs something else, you run to the store to get it for her. Yuuji forgot his toothpaste? You gave him a new tube and another one for his dorm. You tell them to ask you or Toji for anything if they need it. Nobara and Yuuji ask you to adopt them.

After a certain point, they just come over and ask for you instead of Megumi. He gets so annoyed and mad at them for it.

But you always insist on sleepover because Megumi finally has friends that he can call his own. It makes you happy he surrounds himself with good people and Toji agrees.

They know Megumi is balling in money which he always denies. But Yuuji brings up that Megumi has a Gameboy, Gameboy color, a DS lite, 3DS XL, a Switch OLED in his room. They’re all blue with every Pokémon game to have ever been released. He’s not beating the rich allegations.

Megumi is so irritated with Toji, it’s absolutely hilarious. I said it before and I’ll say it again: once Megumi is high school age, he’s an angsty teenager. Dude just gets so annoyed at his dad for existing, he only imagines it’s just you, him, and Tsumiki only. Toji asks him to do something, will do it but will grumble under his breath about it. But if you or Tsumiki ask him to do something, he has no attitude. Megumi is more softer with his sister and you but his dad? Nah, if he inherits everything from his dad, he’ll use them to his disposal against his Pops. He and Toji butt heads a lot but it’s never serious. Tsumiki sometimes wants to stop it but you tell her it’s a father son bonding thing.

Megumi inherited Toji’s grumpiness. Actually Megumi inherited a lot of things from Toji but he doesn’t want to admit it. Physically, Megumi is a mini version of Toji. Personality-wise, fairly similar. It’s just his hair curls up a bit but you believe it’s a recessive gene from a distant relative that decided to come out in a rare time.

Never tell Megumi he looks and acts like his dad. It will temporarily ruin his mood for like an hour or so. He legit got so mad. Put a side by side picture of the two and show it to him and he’ll walk away. If he’s compared to his mom? The saintess who does no wrong? Hell yeah he’ll take up the compliment. But his old man? He has his own personal beef with that. It’s when you or Tsumiki tell him he’s like Toji because you’re his family and know his antics better than anyone. But if it was someone like Gojo-sensei? He’s throwing a roast back. “Man, Megumi-kun. You’re just like old man Toji, grumpy and full of attitude.” “And that’s the same old man who was able to beat you and lived. I don’t wanna hear anything from you, Gojo-sensei.” Gojo cried to you about why your son was so mean to him while Suguru was absolutely done with him.

Tsumiki took a picture of Megumi when his hair was still damp from a shower, he looked so much like Toji. She showed you the picture and you asked her to send it to you. She shows Toji and Toji smirks to himself, knowing he’ll dangle that over Megumi’s head for as long as he lives. Toji gets his and Megumi’s side by side comparison framed in the house lol.

Sometimes Satoru, Suguru, and Shoko babysit younger Megumi and Tsumiki when you and Toji are busy. Tsumiki loves them, tolerating Satoru at best. But Megumi is irked by Satoru’s presence and only hangs out with Shoko and Suguru. Hates Gojo’s constant teasing but from pure annoyance. He and Tsumiki grow up with them and that’s why both of them know the three long before anyone else did.

Megumi gets irritated during Middle and High School because his parents are HOT. He remembers when his classmates from middle school would ask who’s the woman waving at him/man that grins his directions. Megumi grimaces and says “That’s my mom/dad.” Then his peers would start gushing about how gorgeous and demure you are/handsome and attractive Toji is. He wants them to shut up about it. If it’s only one of you, some of his peers would say, “Can your mom/dad fight?” Megumi wanted to punch them so badly, but refrains himself because he doesn’t want to waste his punches on a rando. It doesn’t help when he goes to the same school as Tsumiki, it’s the same THING. He knows people gush about him but he could care less. It just irritates him to no end when others do it on his family members. So when both you and Toji show up to school to take Megumi and Tsumiki out, everyone is just looking at Megumi and his attractive family. They can see where he got his genes from. His gene pool was created by divinity itself. His mom’s attractive, his dad’s attractive, his sister’s attractive, then they look at Megumi and see that he’s attractive. It gets worse with Yuuji and Nobara. They make remarks about it every time, how show stopping your looks are, his dad had people of all sexualities swooning, and his sister made people have hearts in their eyes. 

Nobara: “That’s not fair! Fushiguro gets his amazing looks and genes from the two most heavenly beautiful people in the world and he’s not using them! God has favorites for sure.”

Yuuji: “But Fushiguro-kun is using his good-looks though, Kugisaki! He’s just the more silent, mysterious, aloof type of guy that every secretly wants, you'know?”

Megumi: “Can you two just shut it right now!? Stop talking about my parents or appearance! Focus on the damn mission!”

Family dinners are silent but content. Everyone always eats together whenever possible since Toji’s done cooking dinner at 6:30pm. There’s some talking here and there but everyone is more focused on enjoying the meal Toji cooks for them. The kids clean up after themselves and usually fill the sink with hot water to place their dirty dishes inside. They prefer to eat their dad’s cooking any day. Yuuji and Nobara come over to have dinner every now and then. That’s when it’s more lively since they’re always gushing about Toji’s food.

Your children are so protective of you because of their father. Toji tells them there are some people out there that won’t respect you and tells Megumi and Tsumiki it’s their job to tell him if anyone bothered them or you. They mostly tell him about the amount of men who try to hit on you even though you said you’re already married to Toji, flashing your wedding ring, when you pick up Megumi and Tsumiki from school. Toji shows up with you, sizing up every male in the vicinity while puffing his chest. You roll your eyes but silently admit it was hot. It doesn’t change when they get older, they just hide it better. You could be in the grocery store in the produce section and some guy is hitting on you. You don’t have your wedding ring on because your fingers were sore and it hurt to wear jewelry on your hand. But you wore it on in a necklace. The guy wasn’t taking no for an answer until he saw two people behind you, staring down this man. It’s your son and husband. Then your daughter pops up and steals you away to look at a sale of some fruits she wanted. Leaving the poor man in the wrath of Megumi and Toji. They only put their hands on someone if they harass you or down right disrespect in any form. Mostly they’ll give a talk to the individual that’s not so courtesy of you. The best thing about this whole thing? The teens and Toji saw it all happen and made it into a whole operation. Tsumiki was in on it too, bruh. The men collectively agree to stare down any person that looked at you funny. Tsumiki isn’t so serious but she’s more subtle with her warnings and hints. You remembered when Toji was talking to Megumi about dealing with these situations. “Megumi, when you bring your dogs out, I need you to have them bite the guy in the balls if they try something with your mother or snatch their bag if they’re a woman.” “TOJI!” “I was thinking about the same thing, Dad.” “MEGUMI (L/N) FUSHIGURO! PLEASE! I can’t with you two!”

Those family talks. Like when Megumi opens up to you or Toji about something, it could be anything but it’s mostly personal things. You know it’s serious when it’s just him sitting at the kitchen table while you and Toji are doing something in the kitchen. Hitting you with the “Can I ask you two something?” Then you and Toji give Megumi your undivided attention to let him know you’re listening and paying attention. These happen with Tsumiki too but she’s already an open book and isn’t as reserved as Megumi. You both give your commentary and advice when asked, sometimes you let Megumi rant or let out his bottled up feelings. Surprisingly, unsurprisingly, Toji gives out insightful advice that Megumi takes into account every time his dad speaks. This is also how you become closer to your son and daughter, even your own husband.

They are allowed to swear in the house but Toji’s rule is “You can swear but it can’t be towards someone.” But the kids didn’t swear until they were in junior high.

The house doesn’t have much talking but it’s not the uncomfortable kind. It’s the kind where everyone is enjoying each other’s presence with no need for talking. It’s functional in your household, so it works with your family.

Don’t remind Toji that Megumi and Tsumiki will eventually move out and have their own lives because Toji will get all soft and emotional about it.

Toji and you are living the dream life. A nice house and property. A loving family with two wonderful children to ever bless you and your husband. And a healthy life where your family is close. Toji never thought he could’ve had this life but he now he does. This is the greatest middle finger and ‘fuck you’ to the Zen'in clan.

[angelyuji]

suppressed feelings

nsfw lolz i had another idea for this, but i ended up scrapping it to finish another day... i wanted something more.... idk how to word it but like pathetic??? and angsty from bruce's side anyway lol i know this is treading the line into incest.... just... let me fantasize... also pls send me more noncon!fauxcest thoughts cuz im highkey gooning over some of these dynamics

bruce wayne x adoptive!daughter

tw// noncon to dubcon, fauxcest, sorta yandere?, angst, reader has a vagina, (plss lmk if im missing any tags)

minors dni!!!!! 18+!!!!!!!!!!!

"bruce?" you nervously peek your head into bruce's office. your adoptive father sits at his desk, head in his hands. he lifts his head, eyes red from fatigue. "you okay?"

he sighs, leaning back in his chair, "yeah, sweetheart, i'm okay. just..." bruce stops, shaking his head. "did you need something?" you shake your head and walk in.

"yeah, i wanted to ask if you needed anything? you seemed... off when you came back from patrol with damian." you tilt your head and bruce smiles, chest tightening as you come closer.

"yeah, (y/n), i'm okay..." he gestures for you to come closer, "my girl is so kind." you stand in between his spread legs, letting him hug you. his head rests on your chest and you hug his neck, letting him breathe you in. you feel his hands pull you closer, "i love you so much, sweetheart." his voice is muffled, the vibrations of his voice sending chills down your spine.

you laugh, "i love you too, dad." you feel him frown against your skin.

he pulls away to look up at you, "have you ever thought of me as anything else, (y/n)? other than as your father?" his eyes search yours and you pause, trying to pull away.

"what do you mean? w-what're you trying to say, bruce?" you let out an awkward laugh. his hand drifts up to your shirt, pulling it up slightly. you freeze and bruce presses a kiss to your stomach. you feel warm and you rip yourself away from him. "this-this is weird, bruce." you start to panic and bruce stands up to pull you into a hug.

"no, no, sweetheart. don't worry, i'll take care of you." before you could respond, bruce picks you up and over his shoulder. you yelp, you try to call out for alfred, but a hard smack on your butt silences you. "good girl."

bruce doesn't take you far, only moving to his bedroom. he delicately lays you on his bed and you sit up, watching him carefully unbutton his shirt. "let daddy take care you, angel..." soon, bruce was only in his boxers, undressing you against your will. his hands were calloused and gentle. you couldn't help, but be soothed by your adoptive father's touch.

"bruce..." he gently presses your shoulder, forcing you down, "why... why are you-" he brings your legs over his shoulders and you choke on your words when you feel bruce press his mouth to your core, tenderly licking at your heat. "w-wait-"

"i'm sorry, angel, i promise i'll take good care of you..." his hands grip your thighs and you arch your back, feeling his burning tongue against your cunt. you bite down on his sheets to muffle your moans. you feel your stomach twisting and your holes twitching, aching for more. he drinks you, pressing himself against you like a man starved for water. your head swims as his experienced tongue brought you closer.

"please, bruce-" you gasp, "th-this isn't ri-" you gasp as bruce's mouth sucks on your clit, sending pleasure up your spine, and you let yourself drool into the blankets, his ministrations numbing your mind. you could feel warmth building in your stomach and you let your hips grind against his face, your desire for release overshadowing logic. your body starts to twitch as you feel yourself coming close to the edge and bruce moves away. you mewl, hands coming undone from the twisted sheets to grab at your adoptive father. you watch as he licks his lips, eyes closing to savor the taste of you.

he sits back onto his knees, hands busy with his boxers when you whimper, "daddy... please..." bruce stops, eyes darting to the tears trickling from yours.

your legs spread, your skin sweaty, your arms outreached… you looked like an angel, but bruce’s mind clears in realization. his heart stops as he takes in your trembling body. "oh my god... oh my god." bruce tumbles off the bed to the floor. "fuck... what the fuck did i do... oh god, my sweet girl, im so sorry..." you had never seen bruce cry before and you reach to him, but he recoils. "no, no, no, no..." he mumbles to himself as he searches the room.

"wait- i want-" bruce paces around the room, eyes frantic, before he pulls on a bathrobe and rushes toward the door. "dad- bruce!" you prop yourself on the edge of the bed, reaching out to him in desperation.

"i'm so sorry, (y/n)." bruce looks at you, his eyes raking your body, horrified at what he's done. he hurries out, leaving you soaking the sheets and forced to take care of yourself with the memories of his touch.

[onlinedolly]

cw: drug use, misogynistic undertones (brief mention of gender roles), degradation, p in v, p in mouth, dubcon (if u squint maybe?), mentions of piss, mean awful leon, i think that’s it? lmk if i miss any ok thank u

an: for my angel 🕊️ annonie who rq more corrupt cop leon!!!! i don’t put tws in tags so please read the list above carefully. if any of those things are too much for you please feel free to bypass this okay thanks so much. also i did not proof read this cuz im terrible sorry ):

corrupt cop!leon is a mean man. a star in the raccoon city PD, an officer who’d spent years building up nothing but a positive reputation, but behind closed doors he was anything but kind. you were his pretty little girlfriend, over a decade his junior and a former rookie at the same place he worked.

corrupt cop!leon who drank the minute he got home until he went to bed, expecting dinner and clean home when he arrived. so pleased to see his pretty little doll and dressed up for him over a hot stove. he got too drunk, like usual, and that’s when he’d become violent and crude.

“why don’t you come over here, little one?”

corrupt cop!leon would say, patting his legs with an almost empty whiskey glass to his side. and like the pretty, sweet thing you are, there you’d go prancing over to place yourself on his lap. smothering him with kisses, asking about his day, complimenting him on what a good cop he was (not that he needed the ego boost). and he’d sigh, tap your pretty cheek to get you to open your mouth big and wide before slipping whatever pills he’d stolen from the evidence locker a few hours prior. it really wasn’t as bad as it seemed, leon would think to himself, he was just helping, right. the pills made you happy, pliable, sweet and made that little brain of yours dumb.

and oh boy, did corrupt cop!leon love when you were hazy and high and oh so fucking stupid.

“ain’t got a thought up there, do ya?”

corrupt cop!leon who’d roughly knock on your head as if someone would answer. and you just smile all bright at him, like you do so often, and tell him the only thing up there is thoughts of him. you were perfect, a small, sweet thing who let him do whatever he wanted to you. and he ate it up.

corrupt cop!leon who was drunker now, meaner, and after supper is when he’d start to push you around. climbing onto his lap to only be shoved into the cold hardwood as he mumbled how ‘fucking hot he was’. pressing down on your tummy with a full bladder until you pissed yourself, getting so angry at you for using the restroom on the living room floor. and still, you looked at him with hearts and stars in your eyes.

corrupt cop!leon who had you so trained all he had to do was pull his cock out and there you were, on your knees in a second.

“dirty thing, this is all your good for, hm? taking cock and fuckin annoyin me’”

corrupt cop!leon would slur out drunkenly, as you kitten lick the top of his cock. leon would let you tease him for only a few moments before he’d grab the back of your head, hand in your hair, pushing you roughly down the length of his cock. you sputter and cough in a feeble failed attempt to tell him to pull back, but it’s to avail (it’s usually not).

“bet you like that, don’t cha? choking around an older guys cock, whore.”

corrupt cop!leon’s cock which is so big you’re terrified it’ll break your jaw, and especially at the rough and fast pace he’s fucking himself. you can’t breathe and tears spring to the corners of your eyes as you desperately try to gasp for air. but leon’s never been one to give up, no. your tongue is swirling around his cock and your hands are cupped around his balls like you’ve been trained to do, despite the lack of air.

“ain’t you something? fucking perfect.”

corrupt cop!leon would growl out between moans. and right before he cums does he let you breathe, pulling you roughly off of him by your hair. you gasp for air, big gulps that can’t seem to come soon enough as you wipe the tears and snot away from your face. before leon even has to instruct you you’re sinking down on his cock, no panties under that pretty little dress he picked out for you this morning.

corrupt cop!leon who thinks you’re going just too fucking slow. so he takes matters into his own hands, grabbing your hips roughly and slamming you down on his cock and you cry out. leon loved to hear your pained little whimpers, especially when they were still paired with that oh so loving, hazy look you give him.

“next time speed up and i won’t have to hurt ya, so bad y’know? stupid little baby, need me to do fucking everything.”

“s-sorry, sir,” you sputter out, “need you to everything your rig-“ a scream rips through your body as he lifts you up and slams you back down on his cock, you lean forward gripping the back of the couch for some kind of support as he begins a brutal pace, pistoning himself inside your tight cunt.

“fuckers at the force think i’m so good, don’t they baby? it’s cuz im the best, ain’t i? go on say it, your old mans the best cop there ever was, hm?”

you want to speak, relay compliments on him like you’ve done a thousand times before. but you’re just so full and so so overwhelmed. you’re sobbing from the needy feeling as leon fucks into you, enough to give you a tinge of pleasure but never enough to hit that soft spongy spot inside of you.

and leon wasn’t an idiot, he was actually very smart thank-you-very-fucking-much, he knew exactly what he was doing. knew your body enough to fuck you until you’re begging for him to hit right where you need him too.

corrupt cop!leon is a mean fucking man, who loves fucking you like one.

“can’t answer me? what? am i a terrible cop? a bad guy? is that what you think of me?” he eggs on, venom laced in his words.

“n-no!” you cry, his grip on your hips so tight it makes you gasp, “leon’s a good man, good cop, good — ah — everything.”

leon’s fucking you brutally at this point, the exact words he needs to hear from his baby has him reeling, and finally he slams you down against his thighs, his cock hitting you so deep it’s borderline pain as he finally grazes that spongy little spot with his tip. it sends you over the moon, leaning back to rest your hands on his thighs as your hips involuntarily roll against him, hitting your g spot over and over again until your eyes are rolling in the back of your head.

“god what a slut you are, fucking yourself on my cock, now who told your pretty self you could do that?”

it’s like whiplash the way he picks your smaller frame up, spinning you both around and slamming you into the couch. your legs are spread in the air and he’s fucking you so roughly the couch rocks against the wall.

and corrupt cop!leon is a mean man, but he’s not cruel, so he takes one of his hands and rubs fast circles on your clit until your spasming around him, your orgasm crashing over you like a large tidal wave.

and he’s close too, he can feel it, so he picks up the pace, fucking you hard and ruthlessly as he mumbles pet names into your ear.

“god baby” “fuck, angel.” “cunt made just for me, hm, cupcake?”

finally he cums with a growl that’s almost animalistic, gripping your hip harshly as he unloads his seed inside of you. he’s sweating and panting and you’re looking at him with stars in your glossed over eyes, he takes a few moments to soften inside of you before pulling out.

“you should really clean yourself up, huh? look downright filthy with cum leakin’ out of you like that.”

he says before sauntering away, sure to grab his whiskey glass he’d left of the table.

corrupt cop!leon was a mean man and he was everything to you.

[saetgvia]

genshin boys takin care of u on ur monthly

im back from the void of no content

im feeling berry soft and fluffy so enJOY the boys taking care of fem!reader on her period :)

characters: wriothesley, lyney, alhaitham, xiao

tw: periods (duh), staining sheets in wrio’s one, lmk if i forgot anything :D

also also i wanna make a pt. 2 pls drop any characters u want in my asks or comments ily guys enjoy

also does anyone know how to add the blue

read more tag on mobile/browser? tyty

———————————————————————

wriothesley

- kay so idk him really well needa finish archon quest but he would treat you like a QUEEN

- whatever u need he has it

- bro is chill af and knows what hes doing

- will get cuddly LMAO

- he js wants to pamper u

- so he does :D

- if u stain anything he’ll be calm and change the sheets and everything while u take care of urself

- cooks for u

- reminds u to take painkillers if u need them

- soft kisses heh

- movie marathons!!

- takes care of ur EVERY CRAVING

lyney

- determined to do ANYTHING to make u smile

- so he’ll pull random bouquets out of his pocket and present them to u

- or pretend to do a trick and kiss ur nose instead

- he is SO asking lynette for advice

- poor boy panics a lil even tho he knows how normal this is and he has a sister

- but he’s never really bothered too much abt it before

- he knows how to deal with it but he just wants to make u happy

- he treats u so well aww

- cooks for u

- makes everything cheesy

- like little smiley face rice balls

- or an egg cooked in a heart shape

- so many cuddles

- i love him

alhaitham

- so chill and nonchalant

- gets u wtv u need

- cooks for u

- ion think he’s a very big cuddler but if u need him he’ll hold u

- forehead and nose kisses

- he’ll hold ur hand a lot and like run his thumb on the back

- when he does hold u its u sitting on a couch binging movies with ur head on his chest and his fingers in ur hair

- he does acts of service to help lessen ur load

xiao

- he’s basically js confused

- ‘human women… bleed… for a week every month… and don’t die??’ WHAT SORCERY IS THis

- like lyney poor boy panics a bit

- he’s been around for millennia but this thing can get him flustered

- always nervous to hold u and kinda doesn’t want to but he will for u

- cooks for u obv

- always checking up on u, asking if u need anything

- ‘here, i got this for you’ (insert literally anything he randomly saw and thought would make u smile)

- constantly asking if it hurts

- you tell him to chill and he goes ‘HOW CAN I WHEN YOURE HURTING’ and ugh hes so soft and silly

- takes extra care of u

- constant vigilance

- so sweet

GUYS i think i’ll make a pt. 2 so again, if you have any reqs for this or any other fics drop ‘em in my asks or comments ily all <3

[snoopyrps]

asked him if he would've said the same thing had the fact i'd posted been about the attack on israel. "I wasn’t saying that it’s fair / was just wanting to make sure you thought of that." so you agree? you wouldn't have said anything if it were about the attack on israel?

i really posted a FACT about the genocide on my instagram story and my dad started arguing with me then asked "well what if your boss sees it and he's pro-israel?" it was literally a FACT.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

for my friend @marz-likes-palaces on here! (sorry for tagging, just thought maybe youd wanna see this) a full list of all my jrwi fics, their tws and what parts of their campaigns they spoil (as well as how big of spoilers are referenced)

this will be absolutely editted and kept up to date so if you want me to add a fic onto here lmk (im also only counting completed fics unless its a multichapter fic im working on)

also keep in mind, fics will have hc details! just assume whatever i warn for in spoilers is based around canon!

another note, the way i list them is in no specific order, just how i find them and everything!

okay third note, the amount of trigger warnings a fic has may scare some, but i try to tag for anything (even brief and light hearted mentions) of triggering topics. while i have tried to go through and write the tone of each fic, i cannot guess perfectly how someone else may interpret it, keep that in mind!

most recently edited date: 6/12/25

putting them all below the cut cause i write A Lot of fics (if any fics are wanted to be linked, lmk)

EXPLAINING THE SET UP: [fic title]-additional needed info after (ie: if its a multichapter or incomplete, if its whump or hurt/comfort) [ONLY FOR MULTI-CAMPAIGN FICS] campaigns: feels self explanatory, writes which campaigns the characters are from who it involves: does not include mentioned characters or characters that dont play a big part in the fic, for example if a fic has chip and jay and mentions gill, ill only say it involves chip and jay setting ep wise: different from a spoiler warning, gives a setting timeline wise as to what the characters may be like (as well as an idea of what spoilers may be referenced) trigger warnings: self explanatory, if youve read the fic and something needs to be tagged, please do inform me, i cant guess every tw (NOTE: the multichapters, while i dont write many, are structured differently! i list the tws of each chapter as well as tws for throughout the fic!) Spoilers?: mentions around where spoilers are as well as how involved in the story are they (as to let someone know if they can read a story without knowing x and y), including spoilers that are referenced in the fic [NOTE ONLY FOR MULTI-CAMPAIGN FICS: spoilers will be listed separately! (ie: if theres someone from the suckening and from riptide, it would list what spoilers if any are from the suckening then what spoilers if any are from riptide) RIPTIDE:

Different Sensory Feelings-hurt/comfort who it involves: Gillion, Jay, Chip, Pretzel setting ep wise: pre-ep 1, post chip and jay oneshot trigger warnings: implied sensory issues Spoilers?: it does mention parts of Gill's past such as his training experiences, but nothing too big in detail. the most mentioned are things referenced in the jay and chip oneshot, which it is set to pre-ep 1, so fair lmfao, even then though it keeps out a lot of big parts. I'd say minimal to no spoilers!

Pretzel Steps in (to Gillion's Stupidity)-hurt/comfort who it involves: Jay, Pretzel, Gillion setting ep wise: sometime post ep 53/post BLOCK arc trigger warnings: threats of violence occur Spoilers?: this is based sometime after ep 53, and makes reference to a big spoiler, it also references events that occurred in ep 15. basically, 2 big spoilers that provide important context to the fic, do not read without knowing them just in case!

The Accident-hurt/comfort who it involves: Caspian, Gillion setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, sometime after the paramount championship (at minimum, post ep 41) trigger warnings: gillion faces a training injury Spoilers?: Caspian in of himself is a spoiler in a way, being mentioned first in the championship, but if you don't count that, then the references to Gill's training make this minimal to no spoilers!

Unraveled-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Gillion, Chip setting ep wise: pre-ep 1, post chip and jay oneshot trigger warnings: referenced child abuse, implied manipulation, implications of some religious trauma i wanna say, a fight kinda happens, ends with a breakdown Spoilers?: makes heavy references to Gillion's training, it is what the fic is about, and also makes reference to details revealed around ep 70. the big details of Gillion's training are revealed across the faewild arc (75-82), so i'm gonna say this one has major spoilers, and while you don't need to know the exact events to understand what's happening, i will recommend coming back when you understand somewhat of Gill's training!

gillion rambles about his baby girl-fluff who it involves: Gillion, Old Man Earl, Pretzel setting ep wise: most likely sometime after they re-meet Marshal Jon but before the tournament (post ep 25, pre ep 28) trigger warnings: none from what i'm seeing! Spoilers?: to know that they re-meet Marshal Jon is a small spoiler i think, but nothing major or needed to be known, so i count this as a minimal to no spoilers!

Destiny is cruel.-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Gillion, Pretzel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: violence, character death, blood, murder, small emetophobia mentions, self blame, a bit of arguing, and if you read one of the endings i wrote an extra warning of suicide references Spoilers?: there's one minor spoiler which talks about Pretzel, with sources i'm finding it's more or less mentioned by grizzly in his discord, there is also reference to an event with Chip and Gill which is mentioned around ep 15 in one of the alternative endings, but otherwise this is a fic with minimal to no spoilers!

love calls, help me learn to answer-fluff who it involves: Edyn, Chip, Gillion setting ep wise: sometime after meeting Edyn (minimum post ep 63 as they're on the sea again) trigger warnings: references to a drunk marriage Spoilers?: the drunk marriage is a small spoiler for the Loffinlot arc (eps 2-11), and the fact they know Edyn doesn't exactly happen for a while, there is also mentions of another character met during the paramount championship (eps 27-33, if counting La Alma's part then it's from eps 27-38). the biggest spoiler i'd say is referencing an event from the Desire Isle arc (eps 17-25), which isn't too lore important. i know many people don't count characters that much as spoilers and all the event spoilers are pretty minor, so i mark this as minimal to no spoilers!

human research-lighthearted who it involves: Jay, Oliver, Gillion setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, would be post Desire Isle arc as to allow Ollie on their ship (minimum post ep 25, around ep 26 and beyond) trigger warnings: emetophobia mentions from Jay, the fic is focused around Jay being on her period Spoilers?: Oliver is a small character spoiler, but otherwise this would have minimal to no spoilers!

Gill's Greatest Enemy-small hurt/comfort who it involves: Gillion, Oliver, Jay, Chip setting ep wise: post Faewild arc (eps 72-82) trigger warnings: Gillion's trauma is referenced in how he handles his fears, there's small blood mentions from a cat scratch Spoilers?: there's a couple referenced (character mentions, a fact on gill, a duel of friends (ep 15), event mentions, name of crew enemies), and the presence of several characters is quite spoilery, however not needed to get what's happening in the fic! as such, i deem this one minimal to no spoilers!

fates called for the undeserving to punish me-hurt no comfort (includes optional comfort ending) who it involves: Oliver, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, like the other one would have to be after the Desire Isle arc (minimum post ep 25) [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: major character death, murder, child death, corpses, and if you read to the added ending disassociating Spoilers?: the biggest spoiler is just Oliver, who's introduced around ep 17, but otherwise this is minimal to no spoilers!

chip is bad with...this-hurt/comfort who it involves: Jay, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, like the last two would be post ep 25 minimally trigger warnings: denial, implied heavy self blame Spoilers?: small references to events that happen in the Liquidus arc (eps 70-72), one event in the Faewild arc (eps 72-82), and characters, but nothing too important to know, as such, the fic is counted as minimal to no spoilers!

fins and why you stopped hiding them-fluff who it involves: Chip, Jay setting ep wise: pre ep-1, post Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: none of note! Spoilers?: i mention an item they do only get in the Edison Kingdom arc (eps 43-48) as well as reference Chip's past (specifically the Black Rose Pirates, which you can find the oneshots of on the JRWI channel), but nothing super major, so once again i count this as minimal to no spoilers!

Mental Struggles-small hurt/comfort who it involves: Oliver, Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, after they re-meet Lizzie (minimum post ep 27) trigger warnings: Ollie faces focus struggles due to undiagnosed ADHD (it's a small breakdown he has), Chip mentions taking medicine Spoilers?: character's of Chip's past are referenced (they're revealed in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot), a language Chip knows which is only revealed around ep 86 is referenced, major planned events are vaguely referenced (their first mention is during the Paramount Championship arc, which is eps 27-38), and there is very vague reference to a major event that happens with Ollie (first appearance in ep 41), however none of them are referenced heavily enough to need to be caught up to understand the plot! as such, this one also falls under minimal to no spoilers!

And I am Just a Boy-lighthearted who it involves: Chip, Oliver setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, after Ollie's joined the crew (minimum post ep 25) trigger warnings: there's a bit of non-sexual tit descriptions but otherwise nothing i can think of Spoilers?: i do mentions of an object Chip gets in the Edison Kingdom arc (eps 43-48), but that's unneeded to read this, making it yet another minimal to no spoilers!

Cur(s)ed Flesh-INCOMPLETE, PLANS FOR A CHAPTER 2 (hurt/comfort) who it involves: Chip, Oliver setting ep wise: post ep 48 minimum trigger warnings: body dysphoria and self confidence issues Spoilers?: this one is based around major spoilers in ep 41 (also is based around a tool acquired during the Edison Kingdom arc, or eps 43-48), so this one is major spoilers and would be much better to return to after you watch ep 41!

rocking waves, memory cave-character study, more on the angsty side who it involves: Lizzie setting ep wise: sometime after ep 103 trigger warnings: references to dead people Spoilers?: heavily spoilered based, from events back in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot, to major details revealed only in ep 101 (as well as a major event referenced as background detail which starts in ep 103), as well as other details of Lizzie's backstory being used, this is a character study of her mostly! i dont recommend reading without being caught up!

all my troubles on a burning pile / all lit up and i start to smile-whump who it involves: Chip setting ep wise: minimum post ep 109 trigger warnings: self harm, burning alive, self-hatred, depersonalization of sorts (separating the current state of one's self from who one is, if that makes sense) Spoilers?: heavy ones, it's based around a major event of ep 109, makes references to Chip's past (focused around a detail revealed during the Noctis arc, or eps 64-67), and is focused on major details based around Chip generally, do not read if you haven't seen upto ep 109!

pull the axe out your face and say "was it the boogeyman?"-whump who it involves: Chip setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: insomnia, hallucinations, accidental self harm Spoilers?: the beginning references an arc Chip goes on that people call his "Nightmare arc" (eps 62-70), as well as mentions a character who appears in the Noctis arc (eps 64-67) but otherwise is pretty spoiler free! id consider this one a minimal to no spoiler fic!

wont you kiss me on the mouth and love me like a sailor?-comfort then hurt who it involves: Drey, Ichabod setting ep wise: post Black Rose Pirates oneshot, pre Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: gun violence happens at the end, and things with sirens also happen Spoilers?: yep, this is based around a key event for the world of Riptide, and is based around characters who are kind of spoilers (Drey-in the Black Rose Pirates oneshot; Ichabod-eps 68-68.5 [yes, that is 2 episodes]), don't read until you've gotten past ep 68 part 2!

a destiny started too soon for you.-hurt/comfort who it involves: Finn, Gillion setting ep wise: post Black Rose Pirates oneshot, pre Chip and Jay oneshot [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: violence and fighting, Gillion's trauma is shown through Finn's eyes Spoilers?: it is based around a major event for Gillion (revealed during the Faewild Gilligone arc, eps 75-82), so i will say relevant major spoilers, don't read until you're past ep 82 (and also recommended to have watched the Black Rose Pirates oneshot for some additional context, but it's not needed!)

dont lose your head/i didnt mean to hurt anyone-whump who it involves: Chip, Gillion, Oliver setting ep wise: minimum post ep 109 trigger warnings: decapitation, undead character, self-loathing, disassociation, de-attachment, and this is indeed another whump fic so keep that in mind! Spoilers?: heavily based around a major spoiler of ep 109, as well as references to Chip's past (specifically details revealed in the Noctis arc, eps 64-67), don't read until you've passed ep 109!

a wrench in the gears.-hurt/comfort who it involves: Ensa, Jay setting ep wise: sometime around ep 106 trigger warnings: Jay does yell at some people but otherwise nothing too big i think! Spoilers?: Ensa in of herself is kinda a spoiler (first appears in ep 96), but the biggest of spoilers comes from the location theyre in (which they first arrive to in ep 103), as such i say dont read until you've reached ep 103 and beyond!

The Unbelievable-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, light hearted) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus, Gillion, Jay, Chip, Oliver, Marshal Jon, Pretzel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be sometime after the Desire Isle arc (eps 17-25) trigger warning: none i can think of! Spoilers?: Niklaus himself (as well as Jon and Ollie) could be considered spoilers (Ollie's first appearance with Jon: ep 17; Niklaus appears for the first time in the Loffinlot arc, eps 2-11), and a detail about Earl is referenced (this detail is mentioned during the Loffinlot arc if i remember correctly, and if not, it is a minor one and not talked about much), but is basically a minimal to no spoilers fic!

Isn't Always That Complicated-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, hurt/comfort) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus setting ep wise: minimum post ep 110 trigger warnings: while they are a crack ship, there is a fight between a married couple, as well as descriptions of them kissing Spoilers?: the very setting is indeed a spoiler, i recommend reading after ep 103 (where the setting is first shown) or ep 110 (to understand a detail referenced in this a bit)!

cheers to my light (your the miracle year round)-PART OF A COLLECTION OF CRACK SHIP FICS (crack taken seriously, fluff) who it involves: Earl, Niklaus setting ep wise: in the future/post ep 115 [note: this isn't canon compliant with the timeline!] trigger warnings: mentions of alcohol, small doses are consumed but nobody is drunk, brief kissing descriptions Spoilers?: the worst of them is characters only revealed in the recent arc (eps 103-115+), but otherwise there's minimal to no spoilers in this one!

PRIME DEFENDERS:

no shame but mine to soothe me-vague hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, Wavelength setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, sometime after meeting Ashe (minimum post s1 ep 11) trigger warnings: eating non-edible objects (the biggest danger implied is the idea of eating glass shards), Dakota has an outburst and yells, but nothing too big! i do also make him imply a dick joke 2 different times Spoilers?: id consider Ashe the biggest spoiler, and even then he's not a big part in this fic, making it marked (pun unintended) as minimal to no spoilers!

weird pine trees in my minds forest.-fluff who it involves: Vyncent, William setting ep wise: post s1 finale, pre s2 ep1 trigger warnings: none i can think of! Spoilers?: theres not really any flat-out stated spoilers! as such, i deem this one the first no spoiler fic!

a mouth to bite with; wouldnt your corpse just look so nice?-hurt no comfort who it involves: Vyncent setting ep wise: post Prime Force oneshot, pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: cannibalism, gore, blood, and keep in mind this was for freak week! Spoilers?: not exactly, the main canon detail discussed all is mentioned, even if briefly, in ep 1! another no spoiler fic!

i know ill never repay this debt.-hurt no comfort who it involves: Xavier, Cantrip (mentioned but plays a big part in this) setting ep wise: sometime during s2 ep 34 trigger warnings: implied death and panic attacks Spoilers?: MAJOR spoilers for the grayscale arc (s2 eps 32-34), dont read until you get past it!

ill save everyone when i save you-hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, Bobo is present so would be post Amalgamation/Harttawa Island (s1 eps 2-5) trigger warnings: suicide attempts, stay safe my friends! Spoilers?: Bobo is a minor spoiler, but otherwise this counts as a minimal to no spoiler fic, just please mind the tws!

im an even worse burden then what i let you see-hurt/comfort who it involves: Wavelength, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: small amounts of paranoia, period talk occurs, one singular mention of drugs and i guess uh stealing if thats a trigger for anybody Spoilers?: a detail about Wavelength is briefly discussed (revealed in s1 ep 11), but since its not that big, im counting this as a minimal to no spoiler fic!

ill get it figured out for you-hurt/comfort who it involves: Dakota, William setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be post s2 trigger warnings: violence, anger issues Spoilers?: theres the smallest mention of events mentioned only in s2 ep40 or the end of s2, but its not a needed detail, so i say this fic is minimal to no spoilers!

Waves of Sensory-hurt/comfort who it involves: Vyncent, Tide, Miss Gilbert setting ep wise: post Prime Force oneshot, pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: sensory overload, panic attack i wanna say kind of Spoilers?: it references big parts of Vyncent's backstory (talked about in the Fauna arc, s2 eps 7-11), i recommend watching past s2 ep11 at least to understand whats happening!

this heart was hallow, so hard to swallow, before you-lighthearted who it involves: Vyncent, William, Stryder, Alphonz, Ram setting ep wise: post s1 finale, pre s2 ep1 trigger warnings: typical sickness things (bedridden-ness, coughing, etc), small mentions of "putting out of misery" for illness reasons (nothing very big), small mentions of animal murder (specifically of rats), descriptions of kissing Spoilers?: details about Vyncent's powers which are only really discussed around s2 play a big part in this (my wording is terrible i fear), so i recommend finishing s1 before reading!

the ashe winters 9/11 fake transcript-transcript, crack who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota, Slimecicle, Yakko, Condifiction, Grizzly, Bizly setting ep wise: post s2 finale/post s2 ep40 trigger warnings: 9/11 jokes, references to destruction (minimal and in a comedic way) Spoilers?: it is based around and discusses big events from the season 2 finale, do not watch unless youre okay with that spoiler!

the dead shall rot / your breath is forced but real-transcript, hurt minimal comfort [ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, DOES NOT FOLLOW CANON TIMELINE AT ALL] who it involves: Mr. Wisp, Mrs. Wisp, Tide, William, Bizly setting ep wise: pre s1 ep1 trigger warnings: body horror, corpse descriptions, rot and decay, offering parts of self, panic attacks of sorts (implied), major character death Spoilers?: minus the mention of a more major character, nothing! as such, minimal to no spoilers!

the savior, the hero, and what he wants for me-transcript, hurt/comfort who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota setting ep wise: post s2 finale/s2 ep 40 trigger warnings: mini argument, joking threats of killing, the end bit is myself being shot dead but its in a funny way Spoilers?: yep, the events in this are heavily based around s2 events and takes place during an event that is mentioned in the finale! do not read unless youre okay with spoilers and everything!

it makes you feel so giant/once we were so small-transcript, vague hurt who it involves: Ashe, William, Vyncent, Dakota, Mark setting ep wise: post s2 finale/s2 ep40 trigger warnings: joke arguments in the beginning, i do a tad bit of taylor swift slander, the place is destroyed so there is broken glass, references to losing control of yourself, brief mentions of being trapped in a confined space (never described), the entire transcript is the re-facing of trauma and seeing the experiences felt there were ones you were too young for, theres a suicide joke at the very very end Spoilers?: yep, several for events in s2 and the area theyre in has many references to the s1 finale, dont read until youve finished pd s2 i say!

if you dont tell then i wont tell and nobody will ever know-CURRENT STATUS: 6723 CHAPTERS WRITTEN (hurt/comfort) who it involves: Wavelength, Dakota, Grandma Cole (so far mostly mentioned) trigger warnings: throughout-implied child abuse, the processing of trauma, Dakota consistently blames himself for his injuries (believing he is "weak" thus why he couldnt "handle it") aka guilt complexes chapter 1 [hurt/comfort]: threats made with a gun (not ever fired), panic attack, descriptions of severe injury, hyper-ventilation (from panic attack), blood is briefly mentioned, Dakota talks about being attacked by bears, mentions of heartbeats chapter 2 [minimal hurt]: descriptions of pain, another panic attack ensues, descriptions of mass injury (one big scratch across the chest) and other injuries, dried blood is mentioned, once again the topic of bear attacks is discussed chapter 3 [minimal hurt]: panic attack part 3, brief mentions of dying via bleeding out, mentions of heartbeats chapter 4 [lighthearted]: the first 2 throughout tws are the main ones that apply here chapter 5 [hurt minimal comfort]: flashbacks to abuse and violence, electrocution, descriptions of pain (as well as poor handling of said pain), mentions of heartbeats chapter 6 [minimal hurt]: yelling, flinching, expectations of pain, mentions of heartbeats chapter 7 [light-hearted hurt]: references to a deceased partner, guilt complexes, self-blame, implied glorification of harm, small identity crisis Spoilers?: much of the premise is based around a big spoiler of Dakota's backstory (which is revealed in s2 ep21), as well as a massive event of the s1 finale is referenced. as such, please hold off until youve seen past s2 ep21 minimum!

THE SUCKENING:

sherrifs and soda cans.-vague hurt, lighthearted who it involves: Soda, Deacon setting ep wise: during ep 10 trigger warnings: it is based in a jail if that bothers anybody, no actual big arguments happen but there is bitterness between Soda and Deacon Spoilers?: a note i put onto the fic has the worst of spoilers, but its just some characters. while it is based around a major event, you dont need to be caught up to it to understand whats going on! as such, while i recommend reaching ep 10, it is not a requirement for this!

battling scars-hurt/comfort who it involves: Soda, Emizel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: the fic references scars throughout (nothing ever described to detail), smallest mentions of emetophobia (just the word "barf"), self-deprecating talk, brief mentions of disintegration (a singular line), Emizel is said to have zoned out but its not too big (mentioning just in case), there is descriptions of violence mostly for metaphors, Emizel also does an empty threat to Soda Spoilers?: nope! the biggest "spoiler" i can think of is that Emizel's a vampire here, which is revealed ep 1 (and also feels obvious for a vampire campaign to have vampires), so this ones a no spoiler fic!

if only you knew what goes on in my mind-hurt/comfort who it involves: Soda, Emizel setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: depriving ones self of sleep Spoilers?: same as the other one, nope! another no spoiler fic!

WONDERLUST:

grand gestures cant fix this, you never did the dishes-hurt no comfort who it involves: Lint, Troy setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied to be after ep 1 or so trigger warnings: major character death, corpse descriptions, brief blood mentions Spoilers?: if there are any, i wouldnt know! im not completely caught up with wonderlust at the time of writing this (3/31/25), but i do know that for where ive gotten up to (very very start of ep 3, havent started yet) this is a no spoiler fic! just mind the trigger warnings!

wish we could talk but your stone walls leave me hurt-hurt/comfort who it involves: Lint, Troy setting ep wise: pre ep 1 trigger warnings: negative self talk, arguments, mentions of injury (no descriptions of pain, appearance, or severity) Spoilers?: none! still not caught up as of writing this one (4/8/25) and have not progressed any further along, so should be no spoilers!

something else/i just want a button to push-lighthearted who it involves: Jax, Troy setting ep wise: pre ep 1 trigger warnings: descriptions of making out Spoilers?: not that i can tell! it is mostly just them kissing, and is based around a character with like no information on him, as such theres no spoilers i could incorporate!

thought i saw your shadow under the door-hurt/comfort

who it involves: Jax, Lint

setting ep wise: vague/unspecified

trigger warnings: hallucinations and unreality (believing something otherworldly is stalking you with violent intensions), brief thoughts of suicide in a sense (allowing something to kill you), knife is held but not used, insomnia happens on lints end but not described, panic attacks, descriptions of crying (specifically mentioning snot and things)

Spoilers?: as of editting this (5/5/2025), nothing has changed in my wonderlust catchup, but i am aware jax is not mentioned beyond ep 1 and im unsure what information we actually have of lint now, regardless this is deemed a no spoiler fic! just watch for the warnings!

MYTHBORNE:

hes gone and were whats left alive of him, so let the corpse go-hurt minimal comfort who it involves: Ryan, Aster, Connor (not present but a driving force of this) setting ep wise: post finale/ep 3 trigger warnings: grief (and unhealthy ways to cope with it), loss of a close friend, implied self blame, an argument does end up occurring even if quite brief Spoilers?: nothing for the actual campaign but rather details revealed in the intergalactic what if (set after the events of mythborne) as well as discussed in just rolled with its. id consider this a major spoiler, but the only way to learn of these details is either to access them from patreon or look at the wiki which holds some (that is how i learned of these for the first time to be fair). as such, this is technically no spoilers, but read at your own risk!

nothing to gain something to lose-hurt/comfort who it involves: Ryan, Professor Aeliana setting ep wise: vague/unspecified trigger warnings: grief (and unhealthy ways to cope with it), loss of family, self-deprecation Spoilers?: once again, the details of the spoilers are never discussed in the actual campaign. in fact, these details are only ever talked about on condis discord! once again, this fic is technically no spoilers, but read at your own risk!

APOTHEOSIS:

bite your lips till they bleed / my help is love, i give with my whole being-minimal hurt/comfort who it involves: Peter, Elena setting ep wise: post finale/ep 14 trigger warnings: trying to consume objects that cant be eaten (in this case a rock), blaming ones self for incontrollable behaviors Spoilers?: 2 pretty big ones which while arent important to the fic, are kind of needed to understand part of whats happening! please dont read until finishing apotheosis!

JUDGEMENT:

can i come to you (when i need to be saved)-hurt/comfort who it involves: Jaguar, Buck setting ep wise: vague/unspecified, implied post ep 4 trigger warnings: hallucinations, self-induced insomnia, demons and other worldly monsters, panic attacks, injuries obtained and attempted, swords and violence, it is set at night so it is dark Spoilers?: theres mentions of a character name only revealed around ep 11, as well as a character only revealed to be there in ep 3, so this one i consider a mild to medium spoilers! just keep the triggers in mind!

MULTI-CAMPAIGN:

The Falling Rat(girl)-minimal hurt/comfort campaigns: Wonderlust, Mythborne who it involves: Aster (Mythborne), Runt (Wonderlust) setting ep wise: post mythborne finale (ep 3) and intergalactic gameshow, vague/unspecified for wonderlust (presumed to be post ep 2 minimum) trigger warnings: mentions of someone almost falling to death, vague references to alcohol (Ryan's drinks) with none ever consumed, bad care of wounds and general disability things, brief mentions of scars Spoilers?: mythborne-for the actual campaign, its mostly just a name mentioned briefly. for the aftermath of the campaign, there are some major details that, while arent important to know to understand this, are referenced. if you had plans to watch the intergalactic gameshow what if, i recommend holding back from watching! wonderlust-impossible for any, as when i wrote this, ep 1 hadnt been released! as such, no spoilers on the wonderlust end!

[syscord-out-of-context]

Welcome !! to syscord out of context !!

Official Discord server: https://discord.gg/MWuhTQPUnN The tag 'from the server' refers to this one.

[[ TL;DR: We're SOA (it/he), lmk if you wanna be anonymous and we got you, NSFW is fine (no porn tho), no discourse, we're pro-endo, images don't need to be from Discord or free of context. ]]

The collective name and pronouns are SOA and it/he, NO they/them or it&/you&. We also run several other blogs.

There is already a syscord blog -- in fact it is where we learnt the word "syscord" -- but it's anti-endo so thus this blog is born because we think we're hilarious but we often second guess sending screenshots involving PluralKit (especially as an introject) to regular Discord out of context and yk. Non-sysmeds make up a large part of the plural community, come on tales-from-syscord.

That said if you are anti-endo... we don't care. No matter where you stand, this is a syscourse/discourse free zone, we're here to be silly, not fight.

NOW. Some... guidelines?

NSFW is allowed but nothing too explicit. We'll be using the nsfw and nsft tags though, and pretty loosely.

We will also do our best to tag any triggers (with the '[thing] tw' format). If any post misses something or other that you would like tagged (no matter how specific or personal) you can absolutely ask and we got you. This also includes '[name] don't look' if you'd like that instead.

Per the blog title, context is allowed! You can submit anything you want if it's not blatant discourse or porn pretty much. Again, we're here to be silly.

If you're worried whether or not something will be allowed, feel free to send it to us and ask. And if something submitted breaks the guidelines, we'll let you know too (non-anon asks can be answered privately btw).

Also it doesn't need to be from Discord, really we're just here to have fun, do whatever you want, man. Life sucks but we persist and sometimes we persist by being silly.

ALSO. If you don't want your base account (or any account) to be linked to the submission, just let us know when you submit it (or you can DM it) and we will upload the image for you so you're not connected to it.

Also we don't care what censoring you do or don't do with anything, they're your screenshots. It's largely up to your discretion, we're just the wall upon which you can post your memes.

And we literally do not care care who follows us, just don't be a dick and all is good!!

[catinasink]

greetings from the sink

am i post limited? no <3

edited on 04/21/25 . lowkey out of date now

one n only cat + ultimate faggot + lemonade enthusiast ^-^

about me n stuff

minor !!

i go by cat and neptune n pluto n nico n echo n maple and you can call me any of those or ask bc my pref. changes frequently ^-^

it/he/star/any/ask prns n feel free to ask any time <3 no they/them though so if that could be kept to a minimum that would be great.

unlabeled + polyam + aspec + faggot + tranny <3

do not use the term friend or the /platonic tonetag to refer to me thanks ^-^. if needed you can use /npnr (no platonic no romantic)

no chain asks + no tag games + no donation asks please

no real dni but if i fall onto yours feel free to block / softblock me . preferably no porn blogs follow me however. i am a minor. i block freely

stuff i mention on this blog + other stuff abt me

what i post is a variety of reblogs n og posting includes gayposting, sillyposting, ventposting, liveblogging, freakposting, lyricposting, fandomposting, etc etc. i spam reblog on occasion

i have two cats (kim (she/her) n shego (she/her)) who i mention. i have a sister (she/her) who i mention. i am in a band w my irls (ppl i am close with who ik irl) with cherry (any), fire (he/they), and my boyfriendthing / bfthing / pissboy / pb (he/him)

pst timezone ^-^

i speak multiple languages woahh so cool yeah yeah. russian + english fluently, learning german + hebrew

my sideblogs include @nymph-of-the-sea (calypso pjo rp blog. not used often); @forehead-kiss-mutual-kill-polls (feel free to submit stuff there); definitely not (/silly) @totallynotcatinasink; and a few gimmick blogs (feel free to ask) 💥

matching descs w @shrimpysstuff (shrimpy !!!)

carrd. pinterest + ao3 acc linked there. also a discord server whoahhh feel free to check it out (preferably if youre a minor because i think most / all of us in there are)

i have mental illness. probably. i will mention it at times

i think blood n related things r hot and i may post about it at times !!

fandomposting includes: warrior cats, will wood, genshin impact, pjo, isat, object shows (specifically ii, bfdi, hfjone, n objectified), danganronpa, mcr, and mouthwashing

i am a freak!! i am a evil pervert freak!!! i am a horny teen !! this is your warning!!

myy tags whoahh (not full list)

og posts: #cat's rambles

asks: #cat's asks

posts i make at school: #cat's schoolposting

ventposts: #neptune is complaining again

bandposting: #pluto's bandposting

lyricposting: #cat's lyricposting

evil pervertfreak posting: #maple is a freak

liveblogging: #cat liveblogs

my art: #cat's art

my cat: #daughterposting

queued / scheduled: #queue you

submissions: #eris' submissions

photos of my outfits: #echo irl

anons get their own tags usually

posts of mine rthat i want to remember / that did well: #save

tws i tag (eg. of how i tag: tw sh): sh, sui, ed / eating issues, emetophobia . lmk if i should tag anything else :]

stuff id prefer to be tagged: sui, sh, ed / eating issues, emetophobia, long posts (w long post), rb bait, gore . also preferably dont use the tilde ( ~ ) when talking to me ^^

have a good day ^-^

[aloesarchives]

Toji Fushiguro General/Relationship Headcanons #1

TW/Warnings: Profanity, Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, the talks of starting a family, little bit of married life (LMK if anything else needs to be tagged)

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her (Usage of female gendered terms like Sweet Girl, Woman, Princess)

Word Count: 6.6k words

So these head canons exist for all versions of Toji that I write. However, these are more based around Modern/Non-Sorcerer Au and my personal ‘Toji Lives’ Au. But these are also stand alone because they are some general stuff I think about for Toji in general and his relationship with reader. I’m doing a separate head canons where it’s mainly family/domestic fluff with Megumi and Tsumiki. Maybe making more parts if I have more head canons.

Also, I'm starting to plan out the parts for my Toji x Reader/Megumi x Reader mini series. I'll release a google form for those who are interested in the mini series and another one for the continuations of my Suguru x Reader/Satoru x Reader one-shot. So stay tune for any updates in the upcoming weeks!

!!Not proofread and unedited!! 2/22/24 11:26 pm CST

One thing’s more certain, when you first met Toji, you didn’t fall in love right away. Your relationship with Toji was something gradual, building up over time as you kept running into him. 

One of your most notable encounters happened in the grocery store you always go to and see him at. Your fridge was getting empty as per usual so you came today to fully stock it. As you were nearing the end of your trip, you stopped by the meat section to grab some meat for tonight’s dinner. Normally, you prefer your local butcher’s but they were on vacation so this would have to do. As you were going to reach for one, another hand reached for the same one, a much larger hand. You quickly retracted and apologized to the individual when you saw Toji smirking at you. The two of you talked for a bit before your eyes wandered towards his basket. It had barely anything in it, to you at least. There were some canned drinks, minimal vegetables, a bag of chips, like a loaf of bread.

“Are you picking some things for your pantry, Toji?”

“Nah, this is my food.”

“For today?”

“For this week.”

You stand there absolutely stunned. By the looks of his nonchalant expression, he was not joking. You didn’t want to ask him if this is how much he can afford to not make him feel embarrassed. So you invited him to your place for dinner and to cook for him. Toji's insistence on declining was strong, but your persistence for him to eat was even stronger. Adding Toji’s grocery and paying for everything. Toji carries the groceries to your place and you both enjoy a warm filling meal for him. The man had never eaten so good before he fell asleep on your sofa right after. The next day, he woke up around 10 am to the sound of you washing dishes. He sees breakfast for two on the table and a large bag sitting on the counter. You tell him to join you and you both enjoy your breakfast. While cleaning up, Toji asks what’s the big bag for and you said it’s for him. You cooked him a week worth of food because you knew he didn't have time or energy. So you handed it to him as he’s leaving, telling him to come back anytime for a good meal. As soon as your front door closes, he’s just standing there trying to understand what just happened. His heart is swelling at your gesture, his face ablaze with a heavy blush, wondering why he is feeling this way for you. And Toji makes the horrific realization that he’s falling for you and it won’t stop there.

Most likely you have to initiate the first hangout because the man is clueless when it comes to interactions, specifically with women in a non-flirtatious/transactional way. He started to like you because you weren’t handsy with him or led the conversation to something else. You were interesting because your interactions were real with no other intentions besides talking to him. You’ll admit he’s hot but won’t say it out loud because you don’t want to say something uncomfortable or overstep your boundaries. 

Your hangouts consist of eating at those family-owned restaurants or hidden gems, the food’s good with a good price. Walking around or in a park, maybe hiking if you’re even interested. He doesn’t have money to take you out properly but you aren’t someone who’s into high-end or fancy places because they’re a waste of money in your opinion. You find inexpensive ways to spend time with Toji and it’s fun for you because you don’t have to worry about his expectations because he’s having fun too.

The more he sees and spends time with you, the more he values your company. He starts smiling more and is in a better mood than all his years alive. He definitely isn’t energetic but he isn’t as robotic as he used to be before meeting you. Shui notices this but doesn’t say anything to Toji because he thought he was overthinking things. But when Toji asks him how do you know you’re in love, Shui thought Toji legit went insane. Toji doesn’t want to talk about it but he doesn’t know who the hell to ask so Shui is his closest bet. He asks Toji who got him acting up and Toji shows him a picture of you and he asks Toji if he kidnapped you because he didn’t know he could pull an absolute unit of a woman. And Toji replies “I don’t know man, I don’t even know myself.” Shui is lowkey happy Toji has you. He is fully aware Toji doesn’t have the best background but it’s clear as day you being around him is changing him for the better, undoubtingly saving him.

Toji doesn’t have the best living conditions, he lives by himself in a rundown studio apartment that only had a basic kitchen, a bathroom, and main space that doubled as the living and bedroom. He barely had anything in his apartment other than a futon, a closet, and a table. Got some trash lying around because he doesn’t bother to pick it up. Apartment smells like the back of the house kitchen at a restaurant mixed with the boys locker room in high school. You offered to help clean up. Trash bags full of trash and used cleaning wipes, laundry done and fresh, every surface wiped clean. By the time it was done, his apartment looked brand new. You wouldn’t be surprised that it was trashed again but at least it was clean for once. After your help, Toji becomes a little conscious of his space and cleans it. But this turns into him not using that space because he’s always at your place.

Toji has a habit of ghosting/disappearing without notice. You’re seeing him at the supermarket, next he’ll be gone for like a month or so. Since you really don’t have his phone number, you can’t contact him but it’s not like you two were friends let alone dating at this point. You say it is what it is until one stormy night you heard a hard knock on the door. The next thing you see is Toji, two duffel bags, a cut above his eyebrow while being soaked. You shoved him inside, gave him a towel while patching him, drying his clothes while he changed in your guest bedroom. 

Toji lives with you and split the house chores. But since you’re technically the one with a consistent income and job, you mostly are away from the house and Toji is 90% at home. You do grocery shopping or errands before and after work while Toji holds down the fort. It's been a rough few weeks with him but there was progress. And it was good progress.

You find out pretty fast how Toji’s terrible spending habits and crippling gambling addiction. Luckily for you, you have your own bank account so you don’t have to worry about the man stealing your money. However, you do force Toji to give his paycheck from his inconsistent but very high paying jobs. Literally one of his checks had a value of $30 Million Yen! You cashed it in your account so fast and paid all your bills and groceries off for a minimum of 3 months. It never struck why Toji doesn’t see that as much money but you come to learn that his clan is a prominent one with a substantial amount of wealth so that amount doesn’t surprise him. But still, you told him you’re permanently in charge of the finances because you don’t trust him handling any money. Strangely enough, he doesn’t protest at your rule and now whenever he’s done with a job, he instantly gives his cheek to you. You do give Toji some personal spending cash besides for food and necessities, then eventually a card that’s attached to your bank account. But it’s not a joint account but a card that has access to your account. His card has a spending limit to the equivalent of 67.7k yen(roughly $475 dollars) every month. He CAN withdraw money but you are notified through your bank’s notifications when, where, and how much. Even though you two are balling because of his cheeks, you don’t get carried away with the spending because life in the city is too fucking expensive and you need all the money you can get. Plus, you don’t want to raise any suspicion because you’re pretty sure Toji’s money is blood money or from the black-market and you don’t want to draw a lot of attention for your own safety.

Toji only knew how to cook the basics but nothing over the top or fancy. But once he starts living with you, he starts learning how to cook and for all things under the sun it’s fucking immaculate. Toji’s cooking just tests better to the point you assign him on cooking duties since he cooks better and faster than you. Your co-workers are always envious every time they see your lunch. It’s something different everyday but it’s delicious and filling but not the kind that makes you lethargic. It’s so fucking good that you two don’t eat out as much because his cooking has evolved to peak gourmet. Lowkey is happy you like his cooking and it gives him motivation to continue his work if it puts you in a good mood.

Which brings up another point. I believe Toji is capable of gaining multiple useful skills, it’s just he’s unmotivated. Like he could be good at changing tires, plumbing, handy-man work, cooking, any installation, anything under the sun, but he chooses not to because he doesn’t feel obligated to do so. But it all changes when he starts living with you. Man becomes a jack of all trades and he basically makes life easier because you have him fix/do what needs to be done all the while you’re saving money. He’s a fast learner too. Pretty much once he does it the first time and it works without breaking/doesn’t turn out like shit, it’s locked in his head and knows how to fucking do it.

Initially, Toji is lazy because he is a go with the flow type of guy that doesn’t concern himself with appearances. If it’s livable, not rotting, and doesn’t smell rancid, he’s not going to touch it or bother picking it up. That’s why his apartment was a mess because he’s able to live in those conditions because they’re his own, that's not a thorn in his side. Like he’ll leave his clothes by but not near the hamper because he’ll eventually pick them up when it’s laundry day(you end up picking it up but you started to trip over them while in the bathroom). But you establish a routine for Toji to follow. He doesn’t have to follow it exactly but you said there should be at least 4 main components to it. Literally forcing Toji to pick up habits so he’ll be more productive and conscious of his time. 

Took some time but he eventually attaches to it because it mostly revolves around your schedule. It got to a point where he would be waking you up for your work, getting you your morning drink and a decent breakfast, getting your work bag with your lunch inside, all the while getting you out on time. If not, 5 minutes early so you can be on time for work. I can imagine him saying stuff along the lines of:

“Shakes your shoulders firmly (Y/N), Wake the hell up. You slept through your alarm and it fucking woke me up. You gotta get out of the door in 30 minutes or you’re going to be stuck in traffic, dumbass.”

“Oi (Y/N), it’s 6:00 am. You have 15 minutes to get your ass up and get ready for your work. Before 6:20, you better have your work clothes on when you come into the kitchen because I already made your breakfast.”

“I’m trying to get you out of the door early so you can catch the early train and beat the morning rush. Here’s your lunch and your work bag. Make sure you have everything because I’m not going to bring it to your work if you ask me to.” (He does anyway)

“Hey, it’s going to rain hard later so here’s your umbrella cause I don’t you to fucking sick knowing how you get careless with yourself some times. Pain in my ass…”

So you kinda tamed Toji, this wandering stray cat that was 6’2 and built like a concrete pillar. But you didn’t make it your whole personality trait because 1.) you think it’s pretty fucked up to think helping Toji/people like him is more of a project than genuine compassion. 2.) And you roll your eyes when people say you ‘“fixed” Toji. You just say “Um, no? No I didn’t, Toji picked himself up and changed because he decided to. Not because I FIXED him or him changing isn’t my doing because you be surprised by the amount of people that stay the same because they chose to.” Another reason why Toji fell for you is because you see Toji as a whole human with flaws, you humanized him. You don’t parade him around like some sort of object, you acknowledge his presence and it makes him fall in love with you even more.

Definitely have arguments for sure early on that were rougher compared to being together for a while. Again, this is mostly due to him growing up and being treated as sub-human. He’s vocal not because he chooses not to communicate. But because he doesn’t know how, especially with you, his safe person and your home being his safe space. He was used to being neglected, dismissed or straight up abused altogether. But now that he’s living with you, he’s trying to dismantle his old mindset while learning how to communicate/vocalize his thoughts. He feels he’s unworthy of you because you have an immense amount of patience and understanding for him. Sure, there are your flaws but so does he and he knows living with someone like him is harder than anything else. So he’s appreciative of your efforts and faith in him.

He knows he has a loud voice and is careful when he loses his temper. Obviously for noise complaints but also for because it can be startling and scare you. God, one time you both almost got into a yelling match because of something miniscule and irrelevant but it transformed into something deeper that you didn’t know why you two were fighting about it in the first place. But the way he snapped at you and you unconsciously flinched at him, his heart felt heavy and cracking. He never saw you scared before but the thought of him being one of your fears terrified him immensely. He softens himself and deflates his body to show the surrender of his pride. He ACTUALLY genuinely apologies to you and opens his arms out so you could hug him.

Most of the arguments are just you being frustrated with him. Mostly this was early on with his lack of routine and productive habits, like him not picking up his clothes and leaving his cups everywhere. But Toji is one of those passive guys where he doesn’t like arguing with you and wants to end it asap. Even if he’s not in the wrong, he’ll just admit and apologize to you so you aren’t mad at him anymore. He doesn’t like it when you’re mad at him. Sometimes it can escalate to heated ones but those happen rarely and only exist when something snowballs. He may give an attitude here and there but you mostly know that’s him being himself and he doesn’t mean it.

Your relationship didn’t have a definitive label but the lines are blurred between the two of you. You two hug and hold hands sometimes but it’s more than platonic but not enough for love either. Through large and tight crowds, Toji lets you hold onto his arm , has his hand firmly pressed on the small of your back, or holds your hand tightly as he makes his way through. It’s common for you two to be passed out on the couch together or on the floor after watching a movie or a show. Or how he leans his head on yours when on the train, even carrying you home if you fell asleep and doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you're tired from work. What you have with Toji is nice and comfortable but you do end up loving him because he makes your life warm and worth living. You just don’t know if he’ll feel the same. Oh but he does, he fucking does. But he doesn’t know how to say the three magical words because he never heard them at all when he was growing up. Let alone someone saying it to him.

You definitely say I love you first before him. Because let’s be honest, this man never knew what the hell ‘love’ or true love is. This man grew up in a traditional family that prioritized status, reputation, influence, and anything under that umbrella for traditionalism. So love was never an important aspect of his clan. So for you to show him the true wonders of love and its ups and downs, he’s overwhelmed and a little ashamed because he’s trying to adjust and get used to this feeling. He isn’t a fairly vocal man but he’ll forever be grateful for your patience, kindness, compassion, and understanding towards someone like him. He freezes when he hears you say it to him with such tenderness and warmth only you could give him. You know he’s not ready to say it back but you couldn’t help but tell him because it needed to be put out there for both him and you. You told him he doesn’t have to say it if he’s not ready or doesn’t feel the same. But you also said that you truly only care for and love him only.

But when he said “I Love You” to you, you knew he meant it with all his heart. You could remember it clearly because it was storming with heavy rains. Flash flood warnings are being sent out and weather channels are telling citizens to stay indoors and not leave their homes. Toji has been trying to call you for the past hour but you never picked up. His anxiety was rising, fearing you were stuck or possibly hurt. He says fuck it and grabs his jacket to go out when you open the door just as he was about to leave. Your clothes were wet but not soaked but you held your shoes in your hand while dropping your umbrella and bag on the floor. You tried to explain to Toji that your phone died at work before you could ever call him. There was a flooded street and so you had to take your shoes off to not get them ruined. You did grab him some food though beforehand but that didn’t matter to him when he saw that you were safe and unharmed. He hugged so tightly through your wet clothes when he said the fabled words to you. 

“Goddammit, I fucking love you, (Y/N). I was so fucking worried about you. I thought you were in trouble or something, Sweet girl. .  .”

You started to cry when you heard him say that you kissed him on the lips by impulse. You thought you fucked up and try to apologize only for him to return your kiss with his only while you hold his face and his hands on your waist. Fuck it was beautiful.

Pretty much after that, you both were in the trenches of love with each other. Fuck it’s so tooth-rotting to see it that Shui jokes and teases the hell out of Toji because that man changes his whole demeanor when you call him. He calls him out on how his voice changes from its usual monotone gruffness to low but soft. Toji tells Shui, “I’m a changed man.”

People are so jealous of you two. How the hell did Toji bag you!? The most ethereal, beautiful, compassionate, kind, funny, and respectable woman?! And how lucky did you get finding such a fine specimen of a man?! 

Toji’s pronouns are literally HE/HIM because Toji is HIM while you’re the IT girl with the one of your pronouns being SHE/HER because you are HER FOR REAL ON GOD.

You two are the IT couple, I don’t make the fucking rules. There’s you being the best version of yourself and you unapologetically. Then there’s Toji who’s hot AS FUCK and following his favorite girl around because you’re the only girl for him, BEST GIRL. He is just there but with you nevertheless.

You’re the couple people make those cool edits of, I’m not even joking.

Knows how to drive both automatic and manual but as an automatic cause because of you. You are on permanent passenger princess duty because this man is your chauffeur until he dies or has no legs. Drives with one hand on the wheel and the other is either on the gearshift, your hand, or your thigh. Looks hot every time he turns or reverses because his biceps show themselves and it’s dangerous for you because it makes you feral.

IDK if it’s just me but Toji seems like the guy to buy a whole rotisserie chicken just for himself. He’ll buy one for you, of course. But one of those bad boys is his because he’s not sharing! After a workout or work, he’ll eat it with no signs of meat left on the bones. They’re so clean he even eats the cartilage.

Toji seems like one of those individuals that looks full grown when he’s younger like in his early 20’s and just stops aging altogether. Not like his entire appearance stays the same, it's just his genetic game is so strong and good people believe he's like 25 when he’s actually in his mid to late 40’s. You and him are like cheese and wine. Both perfectly paired together, and the aging is unnoticeable but you both taste divine.

His closet is the most basic and uncomplicated. T-shirts, undershirts, sweaters, hoodies, joggers, sweatpants, maybe one pair of black cargo pants but that’s about it. He always wears sweaters or hoodies when he’s out because he lowkey doesn’t like to be stared at unless it’s you. He knows his compression shirts would make people drool so he opts out of showing up in them unless it’s super hot or he’s too lazy to cover up. Toji definitely would wear those oversized Uniqlo t-shirts for men. He has the black, dark green, and dark blue ones. Fucking never leaves the house with his fucking sandals or black kung-fu slippers. You buy a pair of black Air Force 1’s, Vintage Black Arizona Grip Birkenstocks, and some Doc Martin black leather boots(1460 Smooth Leather Lace Up Boots). You had to up his shoe game because there is no way you’re letting him only have two pairs that are very worn out.

People think he isn’t all that because he’s chill and uncaring most of the time. In reality, Toji knows how to tap into his inner dawg like a switch. He’s really good at hiding it and not making it obvious. But like then snap! He summons his inner dawg and menacing aura. You could be talking to someone unaware that is staring them down. You smile at him and his aura changes so fast as he smiles at you in return. But as soon as you turn away to continue talking to the person, the menacing aura just returns. His aura is so intimidating and menace-like that people genuinely grow anxious and fearful. So much so that they could piss/shit themselves or even throw up if they didn’t have a strong will.

Personally, Toji is more of a German Shepherd boyfriend than a black cat boyfriend. IDK, it just makes sense to me. Like he talks and isn’t hostile to people he knows like you and Shui, literally the only two people in his life that he’s close with. But everyone else, he either hates them or doesn’t give a single care in the world. 

I also personally think Toji isn’t stupid and he's actually intelligent. I think his past issues and how he was treated is the reason he seems like an incompetent person. But really, he’s pretty smart. I know this doesn’t involve the canon but the fact Toji knew which weapons to use on Satoru, beating Suguru with an inch of his life but not killing because he knows what Suguru’s technique can do if he does, and the whole plan with the bounty on Riko was pretty genius. Look, I’m not trying to vouch for him for what he did. But you can’t help but admit what Toji did was impressive. He worked smarter, not harder compared to other people. Especially letting the curse user do all the work for him while he gets to deal with the easy part and go in for the kill. The man came prepared to get the job done. I mean I would too if there was $30 million yen on the line. Sure, he’ll forget to pick up on some social cues. But once the man locks in, he'll be the most observant and perspective person in the room and he’ll learn something about someone just by their body language and simple mannerisms. 

Not sure if this is confirmed or not by Gege but I read someone where that Toji is into philosophical conversations. But I can see because, again, he’s intelligent and has seen/learned a lot of stuff from his hits/jobs. Toji isn’t one of those smartasses that you experience in those advanced classes. He’ll earnestly speak his mind if you ask and what you have to see. He always finds it interesting hearing things from your point of view and I feel like this is one of the ways you two grew close to one another.

You two got married because you just popped the question to him and said yes. You two didn’t have rings at the time but he did buy you the one you wanted but the band had some black on it. His was a solid black wedding band to match yours. Up close, it looks pretty cool. He bought the rings because he asked Shui for any hits/“jobs” that were available on such short notice after you two got married. A week later, Shui notices it and asks him if he finally tied the knot with you. Toji just nods.

Took your last name then both of you decided to add another last name, deciding on Fushiguro. King shit right here. Not afraid or ashamed he took your last name as a middle finger to his clan.

This isn’t a Toji head canon but I can see Shui being a bro and giving Toji consistently well-paying hits/“jobs” because he knows how much you mean to Toji and Toji has to provide for you too. You both would be sleeping and Toji hears a notification go off and knows Shui sent him a job that will be done by tomorrow afternoon.

Routine wise, nothing changes between the two of you. However, Toji is more open and affectionate with you. Especially with nicknames, he rarely uses your real name at home. God, when he calls your names of endearment, you’re going to fucking explode from how deep and gentle voice gets calling out to you. 

He also loves hugging you from behind and having you in his arms. Definitely gives good hugs, they give the right amount of squeeze but are so warm and protective. Is more daring with his kisses, would steal a kiss whenever he gets the chance.

Toji is the type to sleep the closest to the bedroom door. Doesn’t matter where the door is, your body is always in front of him. Just in case something happens, he can/will protect you and he can use his body as a shield to protect you.

Unironically a good listener, legit has a good hearing canonly in reality. He just carries his resting nonchalant face all the time. He could be focused on something or not looking your way, but Toji is listening to you speak and will recite your words right back at you if you think he is. This also helps if you’re someone who tends to forget things or need reminders. He’ll tell you what you were supposed to do 5 minutes ago word for word if you ask him.

Sleeps in his boxers only. Might sleep in a shirt and sweatpants when it’s colder. But Toji’s body mass produces enough heat to be a furnace that you both only sleep with one blanket. He’s always warm. If you get cold hands, fear not because they’ll be warm in five seconds if you place them on Toji’s abs.

Fairly possessive to an extent. It’s usually blended in with protectiveness because one can bleed into another. Like he’ll let you to your own devices but isn’t going to whine if you have guy friends. Toji can read between the lines, he has really good social cues. But he’ll straight up tell you he doesn’t like your male friends/co-workers if they are interested in you romantically. You’re his girl, he wants people to know it. But he would literally kill for you and bring the Heavens to their knees just to keep you safe and protected. Would literally take the fall for you in anything, you can’t change my mind on that. Toji: “Your honor, my girl did nothing wrong. It was self-defense.” 

Toji has self-esteem issues for sure. You could have anyone in the whole world, anyone in this lifetime. But you choose him, and always chose him. The amount of times Toji had to get/do something while you wait for him only to come back to see a random-ass guy talking and trying to get your number. His heart would squeeze at the scene because he wouldn’t blame you for going for someone better. But when he sees you say “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m with my boyfriend and he should be back any second now.” Seeing your eyes scan for him and the way your face lights up seeing him made his heart inflate, making the squeeze disappear. You speed walk to Toji, ignoring the dude, and hug his arm tightly. Toji kisses your head as he walks with you not before throwing the dude a shit-eating grin his way. After that, Toji knows you’re loyal to him and that’s a fact.

But if we’re going to be honest, none of us would leave Toji if he treated us well and deservingly. Plus he’s strong and has the body that even the Gods are jealous of, how are we gonna fumble a bag like that? Ngl, if I meet Toji in real life, I’d run in the other direction fucking scared b/c I’m not fantasy me and fantasy me is better. 

Nicknames for you consist of Doll, Babe/Baby , Honey or Hun, Dear, Sweet Girl, Sweet Thing, Princess.

Toji is the type of man to say “Wear whatever the fuck you want, Doll. I can fight” and says it with his chest with no questions asked because it’s true. Toji got that win streak with zero losses under his belt. But then again, no guy will try to hit on you when they see Toji giving them the ultimate stare down when they try to do something funny.

Once gut punched someone so hard they were sent flying while throwing up what they ate for the day because they tried to make a physical move on you and Toji’s instincts just took over.

Toji definitely brawls and fights. He could get jumped by like 10 dudes and send all of them to the hospital completely unscathed. But his beatings get more aggressive if he is with you. Like if you two are out and some guy tries to hit on you and uses his group to intimidate him, you give Toji the approving nod and he’s just giving all of the most devious combos to ever grace this plant while you're sipping on your drink watching it all unfold.

Also, Toji isn’t letting things slide when you’re uncomfortable, annoyed, or God forbid, scared. One time, you told Toji you were going to get food for both of you at your favorite local restaurant/bakery/cafe. But you were gone longer than expected so he went to find you and saw you talking to a guy. He was confused at first because you usually tell them off or leave automatically. It wasn’t until he got closer when he saw the severity of the situation. To any passerby, it’s two people but then up close you can see the guy’s friend right behind him, backing him up and purposely corning you so their pressure would make you say yes but you held your ground. But you were lowkey scared because they trapped you in an abandoned lot that was hidden from the public eye. So when Toji saw how your body shrunk and clutching your bag of food to your chest, that was his green light to go in. Toji grabs the guy’s throat, his hand being big enough to get a good grip. His eyes are cold and daunting, telling the guy, “You must have shit for brains because she clearly isn’t interested in you. It’s not cool to corner a woman with your bitch-less friends.” That’s his only warning to them before he boxes all of them. Took him 2 minutes max and he’s pulling you along with your food in his other hand. 

Toji also would be more than okay if you ask him to pick you up or drop you off from work. You both have a car but it’s cheaper and more convenient to take public transportation. Like he’ll walk with you to work and leave once you’re inside. Once you’re off, you see him outside waiting for you. Your co-workers you vibe with wonder who’s the handsome guy that is always waiting for you and you say that’s your husband. They’re gawking at him and say you’re so lucky. 

Hates him when people tell him what to do but will follow every command you give him. You’re the only one who can boss him around and he’s actually happy to oblige. Responds with “Yes, Sweet girl”, “Anything else, Honey?”, or “Of course, Dear/Babe/Baby”.

Toji is the type of man to follow you anywhere and do anything with you as long as it makes you happy. The type of man to be like “It is what it is, I’m not gonna complain”.

His body is made from the amount of work he has to do for his occupation. He doesn’t need to go to the gym because he gets a full pump by doing push ups alone at home. Does pull ups in the doorway, has a heavy barbell and dumbbells set in your home because you allowed him thinking it would make him productive. Literally puts body builders and any gym goers to shame. His strong body is built by his job alone and his body’s innate ability to gain muscles and keep a low but healthy fat percentage.

Doesn’t drink because he has a very high alcohol tolerance and also he can’t get drunk too. So if you’re not into drinking, he can always keep you company and will back people off if they pressure you into drinking even though you declined. He can see the amusement in drinking culture but he doesn’t drink himself because he hates being under the influence. He won’t mind if you do and he’s more than willing to pick you up from a night out of friends. Not a fan of bars but will go if you ask him to, your drinks are always protected.

Thinks he can rizz you up but it’s you who has the most powerful rizz out of the two.

If you’re having a bad day or just having a mental/emotional breakdown, Toji will try his best to comfort you. If you want him to hold you, he will hold in a loving and protective embrace. Definitely say things like, “You’re going okay, Baby”, “I’m here, Honey. I gotchu”, or “You’re with me, Doll. I won't let anything happen to you.” Not really good with advice but Toji always listens to what you have to say. He will get you anything you need or make you any food you’re craving at the moment. The man would literally go on a last minute grocery run to make you your favorite food to make you feel better. It makes him feel at ease when your mood lightens up or you smile at him.

Not a picky eater but eats the same types of foods because Toji doesn’t get sick of them that easily and he doesn’t have to think too hard on what to eat. But he will make something different everyday for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for you. He would judge you for eating the same food over and over again but not him because he eats just so to satiate his hunger.

He’s your infinite garbage disposal. You’re full or don’t want to finish your food, Toji will eat it for you. His hunger can be satisfied but his body has a large capacity until it reaches full. He never knew what it was like to be full.

Toji is always the big spoon. Maybe some nights he likes to be held by you but he’s the big spoon no matter what. Probably because he desperately needs to feel your presence in the dream world and protect your physical body. More of a back sleeper than a side sleeper but can sleep in either position. Sleeping positions consist of his arm around you and you’re tucked into his side while using his shoulder as a pillow, sleeping on his chest/on top of him, or back hugging you where his massive body engulfs your own. He loves being close to you when sleeping and hates when you’re not in his arms.

Most likely Toji will have nightmares because he feels like he doesn’t deserve you. If not, feel his life he has with you is even real. Sometimes the dark void is there with shadows looming closer to consume him the more he continues to think like that. It’s not until he wakes up to see your sleeping face and gently caresses it is when he realizes this is life was real, you are real and right in front of him. He smiles like a fool before kissing your forehead and holding you close.

Never has thought about his future because he didn’t think he would live this long, or have a domestic life. But now that he has you and is married, he constantly thinks about the future, your future together. He couldn’t imagine a future without you, it’s not possible for him. He imagines having a family with you and hopes you share the same idea as him.

I know these are wild and don't make sense for his character but let me dream, okay?! I've been simping for this man since October 2020, I've been waiting for this, lol. Anyway, thanks for the support!💙❤️