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violetvelourr · 1 year ago

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Tough life of a Kakashi goodies collector under sanctions. Part 3 (and last, hopefully)

Continuation of my sad (but I’m still hoping for a happy end) Kakashi goodies parcel story – Part 1 is here, Part 2 is here

So after ordering the parcel to be split, I waited for almost a week again (I’m sooo damn patient - it was stated they do that within 24-48 hours…).

At last, the parcel was split. I went over and checked the parcels. And I saw that they don’t have the list of items!.. There are just photos (one photo per each new parcel) of the contents, but it’s impossible to state 100% correctly which of the 12 items is where (they did not do a very good job taking the pictures).

What puzzled me the most was that what I could make out from the photos, one parcel contained a mix of sanctioned and non-sanctioned items (keychains with toys (which I specifically asked if they were sanctioned and the answer was “yes”), a towel and stickers):

... while the second parcel seemed to have sanctioned stuff too (you can see a tiny kunai handle sticking out - it’s considered to be a toy, as well as a case which is categorised as a “bag” and is also sanctioned):

Regarding the case... one of the items was a set: a towel and a case with it. As I mentioned, cases are categorised as ‘bags’ (even vanity bags – so any bags at all), and all bags are sanctioned. So what I figured from the photo was that they placed the towel into one parcel (where the keychains were), and the case – into the other… basically split the set. So in my view, both parcels contained potentially sanctioned stuff.

I got in touch with support, and it took me 3 messages to finally figure out the following: keychains are not sanctioned, even though they have toys attached to them, so basically the sanctioned part contains everything apart from two keychains, two towels and several stickers.

Regarding the set that they accidentally split between two parcels – I was advised to simply list the same item twice in the declaration for the two separate parcels. And indeed the case was considered a sanctioned item, and since the person splitting the parcel didn’t know they belonged to one set with the towel, they just split them accordingly, and thus the case was moved to the ‘sanctioned’ parcel while the towel went to the ‘allowed’ one…

Side question that I now have is – how come I was able to buy this set at all: the service helped me buy this set, and they do not assist with sanctioned items (and the case (’bag’) was sanctioned long ago), plus they already even managed to pack the parcel for me before the sanctions update dropped, so apparently they were either not bothered that a part of the set was technically sanctioned – or they assumed the customs wouldn’t care, I don’t know… So I’d like to consider this whole situation a positive thing – would have been a shame if my parcel was shipped without any issues, but ended up being stuck because of the sanctioned case...

Update as of 07/06/2023

Part of the Kakashi goodies have been shipped today, together with non-Kakashi goodies that I also had in the warehouse (it’s cheaper to combine items for shipment). When I get them, I might put them aside to ‘unbox’ them together with the lot that will travel through Kazakhstan.

* * *

Also, the warehouse announced today that a part of the goods that was previously declared sanctioned is no longer sanctioned – among that, some electronics, mobile phones, gadgets, etc., but toys (TOYS, Carl!!) are still sanctioned. Not only that but they’ve also increased the permitted value limits (was $300, now it’s $1250)! After this update, I have no further comments on this whole war… This just makes no sense any more. Prohibiting things, then removing these restrictions, then even increasing allowed value… Like, if you’re gonna be stopping my country from doing bad things and punishing us, at least be consistent! Because at this point it all begins to look like a farce… 🙄

* * *

Update as of 08/06/2023

Sanctioned Kakashi goodies are waiting to be shipped to Kazakhstan... It’s through that individual ‘buyer assistant�� I’ve never had business with, so mentally I’m preparing to send my goodbyes to those items... those who don’t risk don’t drink champagne, we say 😅

* * *

Update as of 09/06/2023

Sanctioned Kakashi goodies have been shipped to Kazakhstan today... fingers crossed all goes well...

* * *

Update as of 13/06/2023

What a joke!! It is now permitted to ship electronics worth $2500 directly!! they’ve raised the limit again!!! How absurd......

#Kakashi collection #Blog #kakashi

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slow-apocalypse-zone · 4 months ago

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Reblogging my own tags bc I definitely cared a lot about what I was saying(to the point of hitting the tag limit) and if ppl want to talk abt them this might make it easier

I’ll do a kinda image description/transcript below the cut, but adjusted slightly bc it doesn’t have to fit into tag formatting. All the words and punctuation are the same though. Mostly I’m just taking out hashtags adding paragraph breaks lol

theres also a little further discussion under that if you're interested in reading it!

(#public resources) (#open discussion)

yeah. we need to improve stuff in A Lot of places but that isn't gonna look the same everywhere

personally? I seem like a lazy suburbanite. but I also have joint issues and shit and hate that stuff isn't stacked like Lego bricks instead of being spread out and that I have to drive to get Literally Anywhere in ten minutes and that it isn't neccesarily Safe to walk places because guess what!!!

summer is hot as balls and there isn't shade!! walking half an hour to the nearest strip mall with nowhere to take a break from the heat and the sun and sit down to rest my joints? that's dangerous!

drivers around here don't give a fresh shit about bikers either and the sidewalks aren't wide enough to legally or safely bike them

so the option is walk(feel sick and be in pain and have no way to take a break to recover so it the discomfort and pain just get worse) (esp in summer and winter. my mom has an intense pain reaction to cold and i sweat excessively in heat which doesn't do anything in high humidity areas like where we are)

bike(you might die or get badly injured and yeah you might get dismissed bc you're the one biking in the road but it's illegal to bike on the sidewalk so what the fuck am I supposed to do)

or drive(this is a skill. you need to have a car or someone who will let you borrow theirs.

to learn you also need a car and someone to teach you.

then you need a car to get to the dmv(the nearest one is 45 minutes away by car) and for your practical test.

before the practical test you need your learners.

which means you need to study your ass off so they can't pull a gatcha with obscure road laws and then get to the dmv.

again you need someone who can drive you to the dmv to take the learners permit test

and then once you have your liscense after all that you still need a vehicle and to pay for gas.

and then there's the emotional conflict some have over using gas cars at all. unless you have an electric but then you have limited range of movement

basically. yes you could say l'm a lazy suburbanite but understand that it's kinda SHIT to be in the suburbs if you don't have a car and those cost a LOT over time even after purchase, tuneups and gas and tire replacements and maintenance ect ect)

like. if there was a trolley system at the front of the collection of neighborhoods I'm in even. that'd be awesome. I can easily walk there.

or even benches Anywhere along the way to the nearest stores that don't require me to cross a three lane street(both ways so six? idk) with no crosswalk and hope that the church over there didn't start locking up again and that no one will pester you about faith and how 'prayer and excercise will fix all your health issues' (im agnostic so I HAVE faith. just not in your bible. and believe me I excercise)

like. I need to stop now and again without needing to get into theological discussions that I don't want to have. I want to be able to stop in the shade and rest without crossing the dangerous road that doesn't have a crosswalk

anyways. I'm out of tags so I probably should've just responded normally but here we are

End transcript

These are things that make living where I live So Frustrating when your whole family just has one car. But the solutions for our problems(adding rest stops to sit and maybe a water fountain every few stops, busses that go to more central/necessary locations, wider sidewalks for bikers and more laws protecting bikers in the streets, that kind of stuff) won’t solve every problem ever in transportation, walkability, and accessibility of necessary resources.

For example, we don't really need to add ramps anywhere here, because everything is sloping and mildly hilly, so 'ramps' are more default as we work with geography. Instead, adding stairs paired with that would be amazing, because some people have issues that make walking on inclines, even mild ones, painful and dangerous for their long-term health. Most places have the opposite issue, but the goal shouldn't be to replace stairs with ramps and vice versa, but rather to add what isn't there when there is a need for it. There is almost always a need for it.

Edit:

Sometimes the slopes are too severe for wheelchairs as well. In those areas, we should add stairs and proper ramps. Not one or the other.

“America IS walkable, you’re all just lazy” my childhood home was an hour from the nearest hospital (by car)

#open discussion #transport #public resources

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passionfruitmango · 3 months ago

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I'm gonna use this post to vent about the things on my mind, I'm not going to edit down my thoughts so it might be a bit negative for some so feel free to read if you like or keep vibing if you don't!

Tldr: noticing 12 year cycles and feeling my 16 year old self's emotions now as I try to complete milestones I would've liked to have completed then

Holy fuck I'm having so many random triggers while trying to do permit practice tests, I tried to tell my Paps about it since he had to cancel his trip and I wouldn't be able to tell him in person, and he was driving and couldn't read my full message, which of COURSE my brain took wrong and that accidentally reinforced my "don't tell people about what you're working on because they either don't care or will make fun of you for it"

And that latter part, make fun of me for it. Is from my mother and her partner (now husband). I'm so mad that I still struggle with "expecting others to hurt me" all these years later. I'm exceptionally mad that for whatever reason, my parents wouldn't put my into drivers Ed?

I recall money being an "issue" but I truly think it was an improper allocation of funds, because this is the same time period I stopped getting holiday/birthday gifts and had to watch them get what i specifically wanted that year. Which sounds whiney but I forced myself to stop being interested in pokemon because I knew I wouldn't have a 3ds to play the new games with, oh but my parents would tease me at every cost about how they were considering getting those games for themselves.

Back on the drivers Ed. I'm mad. I recently turned 28 and i feel the wrath of my 16 year old self being heartbroken having to watch all her friends get a taste of freedom when I was (and still am) trapped to walk everywhere. Convincing myself it didn't "really" bother me.

One of the reasons I struggle with asking for things I need goes into the complex that was formed with my needing to ask for rides places. It started with my parents not wanting to bring me to concerts and musical performances. I'd walk to the school in my tall ass heels (Leo things) and dress until one of the upperclassmen in the theater department insisted he'd bring me to every event if my family wouldn't.

My eyes are watering now so that hit me deep. Oof. I'm embarrassed it's taken me so long to get my license. There's so much fear and anxiety in me surrounding driving, the emotions that choke me and overwhelm me pop up the most when I try to discuss driving or even think about doing it. Working on these test practices has been hard. There's so many old emotions in me from when I was 16 and I can see how it's all connected based solely on my own emotional reactions.

I'm afraid to tell people about my goal of getting my license for fear they'll tease me about it taking so long or that they won't care or encourage me at all.

There's a bigger discussion to be had about privilege and why I don't /need/ to feel so down on myself about this. It's not my fault that I didn't have as much as my peers, I've done my best and I will get there even if it takes me longer. But every "spongebobbing around and get my drivers license post" I see makes my throat tight and it's just not fair, it isn't that simple for everyone.

What also sucks is i don't have therapy until after my permit test, so I'm left with these feelings and trying to express them via my therapy skills, art, in body movement, etc, and it just doesn't feel like enough?

I'm going to keep doing my best. I'm going to keep practicing for my permit test. And I'm going to pass even if my partner and the tumblr abyss are the only ones who know about it.

#sunnie thoughts #sunnie vents #personal #traumablogging #read more #driving #drivers license #permit practice #12 year cycles #12 year cycle #yes i know thats astrology related thats why im mentioning it hehe

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arieschaos · 1 year ago

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Chapter 3: Rory Mars

Nova grunted around her cigarette, feeling her seldom-used comm-contraption buzzing in her pocket.

“One sec.” she mumbled at the doe-eyed barmaid she’d been flirting with and plugged the small, wireless receiver into her ear. She didn’t need to check who was calling, only one person in the galaxy had her contact details, “Wassup, Stel?”

“Small change of plans,” she started, and Nova rolled her eyes - Stella’s plan changes were never small. She continued, “The team at the Gitera labs were a little too efficient with my order, so I’ve had to hire someone else to escort the package back here. Which means I’m in no hurry to have you back in New London, and–”

“So I can take that gig with Cecil?”

There was a small pause from Stella and it made Nova wince and apologise immediately, “Sorry, shouldn’a interrupted.” she felt her shoulders tense as if Stella were standing right behind her and giving her that scolding look she knew would be currently dipping Stella’s brow.

“...Yes, you will be able to take your job with Cecil. Will I perchance be permitted to see a show, finally?”

It was Nova’s turn to frown as she took a deep drag from her cigarette and exhaled a plume of bluish smoke into the already smoggy night air, “Not your kind of scene, Stel. And I don’t like not being able to watch your back in those kinds of crowds.”

Stella huffed a small ‘hrmm’ and her voice lightened a little too much to be genuine, “Fine. Another time, perhaps. Do you have an update on retrieving the discontinued product?”

Nova grunted again, throwing her cigarette butt to the floor and stamping it out, stepping away from the nightclub to avoid being overheard, “Got the remaining stock from Astea, that was no issue. Markesh was a cake walk, guy was glad to give it over. Guys here on Tortuga are another level of stubborn. Gonna need to be a lot more... persuasive.”

Unphased by the threatening tone, Stella continued, so prim and put together, “Very well, do whatever you feel is necessary. I trust you. Just remember - don’t damage the containers. At least, not yet.”

Nova’s jaw tensed to keep her from biting back that she didn’t need to be told a twentieth time, “Because they need ‘specialised disposal’, I remember.”

“Nova, I’m serious!” The scold was back, “Those narcotics in that quantity and with no instruction for care or storage are a potential chemical weapon. They cannot be just thrown away or airlocked lest they fall into the wrong hands all over again. A simple furnace would definitely turn them into a weapon, you remember the plan we agreed on?”

If she had a chit for every time she’d recited this plan; “After I’ve collected all the remaining stock, I head for the nearest asteroid, enviro-suit up and unleash hybrid hell on it all, till there’s nothing but ash and a stained crater.”

She pulled another cigarette from the pack in her pocket and mumbled as she lit it, “still dunno why I got use up all my energy ‘stead o’ just throw the shit into an exploding star or something.”

“That’s far too dangerous!” Stella sounded horrified at the idea, “Promise me you won’t be so reckless with your own life just for this task!”

“Alright, shit, I promise,” Nova cowered a little again, hating the sound of her one friend so upset, “You got nothing to worry about. I’ll call when it’s all done, and I’ll be checking in while I’m touring with Cecil, kay? Dunno where he wants to go but he said it’s almost 2 months of back to back gigs.”

“2 months? That’s the longest time you’ve been away.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” She felt a pang of guilt, hoping Stel wouldn’t have realised the longer gap between visits, “I’ll check in as often as I can, vid calls, not just voice, and if we pass by close enough, I’ll stop by the lab. Wanna make sure you’re doing okay.”

“I appreciate the concern, dear.” Her tone was much softer now and it made Nova’s chest feel lighter, “I honestly don’t think that little gang are too much of a threat. At least, nothing a little hired muscle can’t handle.”

A commotion back in the direction of the nightclub had Nova’s eyes narrowing and scanning the crowd. She snarled, hating the interruption; no wonder it always got Stel so irritated.

“I gotta go. Our guy’s making a move.” She couldn’t wait for a response, taking out the earpiece and shoving it back into her pocket, letting her cigarette fall to the ground as she tore off after the dealer she’d been staking out all weekend. He set off in a sprint the moment his eyes found hers, clearly she’d gotten sloppy in her growing impatience- but now that she had permission from Stel to do things, at least this side of things, her way.

She chased him until the crowds thinned and he tried to lose her in the narrow side allies, but it just made him slow his pace, and gave her the cover needed to really get near him.

With barely a thought, her energy wrapped around her, red-orange strings of light across her skin, giving her the boost she needed to surge forward and grab him by the shoulders. The orange strands gripped onto his jacket like spider web as she pushed him against the wall.

“Nice try, asshole. Gonna need to try a little harder to shake a gal like me.”

There was fear in his eyes but he tried to harden his tone, a note of disgust laced into his words, “Why all the hot chicks gotta be crazy fuckin’ hybrid rats? What do you–” she grabbed him by the throat and hoisted him against the wall, snarling.

“Can’t hear you, dickweed, try again - this time, tell me where I’ll find the last of your Rory Mars stash.”

He gripped her wrist and kicked his legs but they only struck air, “G-gah– my– fuck–”

She loostened her grip just a little, he gasped then spoke quickly, “My dealers already sold it all, we didn’t have that much to start off, it’s all gone, I swear it!”

She snarled and tightened her grip again, “I already visited all your dealers and they all said you were keeping it for yourself.” She leaned in, “I know what the stuff does and I can tell you’re on it.” She studied him, noting red rings around his irises, and the distinct smell of licorice that lingered on his breath, “reckon you popped a pill no more than 2 hours ago, so you got a stash nearby and you’re gonna give it to me.”

He spluttered until she loosened her grip again, “Just kill me, bitch. Rather die than be without that stuff.”

She chuckled darkly and let those warm sparks of her power leep from her skin and form into web-like strands of light, now pushing him against the wall and leaving her hands free, “I’m not gonna kill you, asshole. I do that and I’ll never get to your stash. You’re going to tell me where it is..” she moved forward, leaning into him, lowering her voice to a threatening whisper, “And I’m gonna try my best not to enjoy getting it out of you.”

Chapter 4: Actual, real cow.

#original characters #ko-fi #original writing #sci-fi #support small creators #writing #novastarre

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skiyoosmi · 4 years ago

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if fate permits

⤷ chapter twenty three: seesaw

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Eerie. If there was one word to describe your current situation with Atsumu, that would exactly be the perfect term for it. As you sat across one another in a booth in a restaurant that Osamu apparently found for him (he says it’s the “best place” for the both of you to properly make up, you called it the “Osamu utters another bullshit” place), you find yourself unequipped of words to tell him, something you found odd considering you never had any dull or awkward moment with him. Well, at least not until our feelings got in the way, you thought, letting out a quiet sigh as you poked your food with the fork, completely aware of the stare that the blonde holds on you.

He fidgets in his seat, opening and closing his mouth as he tries to form his words because what else can he say aside from apologies (that he thinks are probably useless given that right after saying sorry, he finds another way to hurt you)? He doesn’t really have any other choice though so he takes a deep breath and begins his sentence, “YN, I’m really so-”

“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence or I might just stab you with this,” you cut him off, waving the fork you were holding in his face, snickering at his wide eyes that was accompanied by a large gulp. You put it down and place your chin on your hand, leaning your head towards it as you stared him down (more like glare, in his perspective), “Just wanna let you know, this will be the last apology I’ll ever get and accept.”

Observing the confusion that became more and more evident in his face, you continue, “Because if you hurt me one more time, then that’s it. I’m really gonna cut off my ties with you because that just proves to me that everything about this,” you gesture towards you and him, “is not meant to be… as friends.”

Not even as soulmates. In a pathetic attempt to make everything seem like it’s fine, you grab the glass that was right by your arm; the harsh flow of cold water down your throat is not even close to beating the suffocation of the truth that dawned upon you. How ironic - everything is just a cycle that keeps on repeating over and over again yet for some reason, the agony remains all the same. It never gets less and if anything, becomes more to the point that it just torments you every single moment of your breath. Always so pathetic, YN, always.

“YN…” he trails off but you hold your hand up, letting him know that you were not yet finished.

“So, make sure that this is the last. You know we both deserve so much more than a friendship that keeps on pulling and pushing us. We weren’t like this before, Atsumu,” you state as a matter of fact, sadly smiling as he bowed his head down, “what happened to us?”

Deep down, you already knew the answer to your question. No matter how much you wanted to deny it, deny her entire existence, you can’t. Because that would mean denying Atsumu and the happiness he desires. Yet at the same time, you just can’t let go of him.

“Yui happened,” he whispers, “I just… it’s inexcusable, the way I kept on pushing ya aside and hurting ya because of her… but I just… I thought she was her yanno? For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to meet my soulmate and Yui was just so bright and nice and I guess I got this hope in me that maybe she’s her… but she wasn’t and it’s so frustrating.”

The disappointment and sadness in his face squeezed your heart that thumped against your chest, the longingness that had always resided within you struggling to get out and give him a hug. As he spilled his heart out to you, you couldn’t help the guilt that began spreading in your mind, he wasn’t the coward; you were.

“It feels so frustrating to be so clueless every single time. I guess that’s why I took it out on ya, because I felt somewhat jealous that ya can see the threads and I can’t and for the rest of my life, I’ll be lost, wondering who my true soulmate is. And the fact that yer leaving me soon too… everything’s just so messy inside me, yanno? So I’m sorry for that, YN. I’m not excusing myself from the pain nor am I dismissing yer feelings but I hope ya understand where I’m coming from too,” he quietly speaks, fiddling with his fingers.

“Atsumu… I-”

“I said that but YN, I think I’m done waiting for my soulmate. I… I don’t want to seem selfish but… it has been too long of waiting… I’ve always tried to find them myself even though I don’t have abilities like yours. Thinking about it now, maybe they just don’t want to be found? Because if they did know me, wouldn’t they have told me right at the moment they met me? So, can’t you just cut off my thread please?”

And right at that moment, you felt your heart plummet down to the deepest and darkest abyss of your insides. He’s given up and you still can’t bring yourself to tell him the truth. I don’t want to give you up, please, not yet… You want to beg him; to just give you a little bit more time, a little bit more courage, a little bit more attention in hopes that he’ll see. Please, just look at me, look at me and you’ll find what you’ve been looking for, Tsum.

But the desperation in his face reels you back to the reality that he doesn’t want you; he wants some other girl, someone who can never be you and you find your heart being engulfed with bitterness so you scoff and stand up, “This bullshit again? You’re making me lose my appetite and I am not about to have this conversation with you, Miya Atsumu. ”

He gapes at you, obviously surprised with the sudden change of mood. It was already going good a while ago but perhaps, it was the calm before the storm, ready to ruin the both of you, “YN! Wait up! Stop! Come back here!”

He’s able to grab your wrist as soon as you get out of the restaurant, “Hey! Come on, I’m pretty sure the aftermath wouldn’t be that bad! Ya don’t need to be so uptight,” he pants. He never knew you can run that fast. But that’s totally not important at the moment because he can literally see steam coming out of your ears as you took a deep breath and turned around, eyebrows furrowed in anger.

“Uptight?! I’m in no way being uptight right now, Miya Atsumu! What you’re asking is… is dumb… outrageous… or nonsensical… AND dangerous!” you screamed, stuttering out of disbelief as the lad only looked at you with amusement. He chuckled; as much as he didn’t want to, he found your little tantrum cute. Your head whipped once again to his direction upon hearing his laugh, “you’re laughing?! Do you think asking me to cut off your thread is funny? You’re fucking ridiculous! Do you even know the consequences? Do you have no care for your soulmate?”

The grin leaves his face as he watches your eyes start to slowly but surely well up with tears, “Did you invite me just for this? Is this all you think our friendship is for? Jokes? Or the fact that I’m a fucking Moira who can fix your soulmate issues? I’m supposed to be your best friend before anything else, am I not?”

“Wait, no, YN… you know that’s not-”

“Because if you do think that way, you wouldn’t have thought about this in the first place because you’d know how much I despise cutting someone’s thread - have you even tried to think of what your soulmate will think? What would happen if she finds her thread cut off? You think she’d laugh too? She’ll just wake up one day with her thread being black, not even knowing what hap-”

“But she’s not here!” he screams, head down before he looked up, rage swimming in his eyes that even up to now, you still love, “She’s not here. And you’ve never even tried helping me find her so what makes you think you have a say on whether or not I should give up on meeting her? I’ve always asked for your help, didn’t I? But what? Every single fucking time, you reject the idea of me meeting her like it’s a plaque that will kill you.”

That’s because she’s always been here, I’ve always been here, idiot… is what you want to say but the painful truth of his words stopped you from retaliating further.

“She can find a new soulmate too! Y/N… please, I’m 100% serious about wanting to do this,” by now, any joke and teasing were gone from his voice as he begged the girl in front of him. But you were even more stubborn than him so you shook your head and crossed your arms, remaining firm on your stand.

“No. Stop being selfish, Tsum. It’s not always about your ‘needs’ and ‘wants.’ Breaking the bond… is something we mustn’t do, as much as possible. You don’t want to do anything you’ll regret; I won’t let you,” you whispered, clutching sides of your skirt. Atsumu didn’t know what happened to him after that or why he stupidly chose to open his mouth again.

“You’re the one who’s being a selfish bitch, Y/N. Just because ya can’t find your soulmate and yer happiness, doesn’t mean we can’t too. You’re so needy that you can’t let us be happy without ya. I wonder what the gods thought when they gave you that power? Stupid gods, they can’t even do one thing right; giving it to a coward and a selfish bitch who can’t even cut her best friend’s thread for the sake of his happiness…” it was the crestfallen look plastered on your face that made him stop as soon as he saw it. Realization dawned upon him and immediately, he tried reaching out to you with his hand.

Ah, I give up.

“It’s okay…” you choked, pulling back from him and taking a deep breath, no longer giving any effort to stop the tears that now freely flowed down your cheeks, “I understand. I’m sorry that I care for you then.”

He opens his mouth, ready to say yet another apology but he knows… he knows it was futile now. He watches you as you hastily wipe your cheeks from any tear stain but they kept on coming so you felt yourself get frustrated even more. Stop being so pathetic for once, YN, for god’s sake!

“You know, Atsumu? I always feel like we’re in a seesaw that just never stays balanced. It’s either one of us is on the top while the other’s down and it just… gets so fucking tiring trying to understand you.” You took a deep breath, pursing your lips as you finally felt the courage within you. It’s a little bit late for it to come, isn’t it?

“You want to know why I never told you about my soulmate’ Because I’ve found him a long fucking time ago. But he can’t even be honest to himself that he at least feels something for me. He chooses to be blind with all the possibilities we could have if he just chooses to cross the line, even for just a little bit�� right? Cause be fucking honest, Atsumu, it doesn’t even matter if I told you or not. Either way, you’re never gonna love me the same way I’ve always loved you. It’s quite funny, honestly, I’ve never told you because I wanted you to love me, not because I’m your soulmate but because I was YN. But I never expected that it would be the very reason why I can’t have you… because I’m just YN.” You let out what seems like a laugh but the waver in your voice failed to deliver that.

“... So don’t tell me I’m needy and selfish because if I were, I would’ve told you the moment I met you that it was you. But I didn’t want to lose you, so I thought it was okay. I can deal with the pain if it meant I can keep you beside me and not risk anything…” you trail off, “... but I’m just… I’m done pretending I can keep being on this playground with you.”

You took out the red scissors that you’ve loathed so much, nearing it to your threads as he stayed still in disbelief of everything that has been revealed to him seconds ago, “I love you, Tsum..... I only wish for you to be happy so… don’t ever regret this, okay?”

Atsumu looks at you and at that moment, he just knows… that for the rest of his life, he’ll remember the broken smile you gave him as you finally cut the thread that has connected you to him for the past years.

Don’t regret anything, Tsum…

“Because I won’t.”

I won’t even remember a single thing about you.

note. ah… at last we have come to the beginning of the end. two words from me to you: i’m sorry.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #haikyuu headcanons #atsumu x reader #atsumu smau #iwaizumi smau #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu angst #atsumu headcanons #iwaizumi headcanons #haikyuu writings

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cursestothemoon · 4 years ago

Text

Out of Time

Cedric Diggory x Fem! Ravenclaw! Reader

Requested: yes

warnings: mentions of death, nausea, and one curse word (ass)

Word Count: 2508

Summary: Cedric’s crush is chosen to be Hogwarts champion and he can’t help but put off telling her about his feelings. But when he finally does, is it too late? ✧✧✧

Cedric moved quickly, he was on the edge of the right side of the castle and sure to be late to arithmancy that was so unfortunately held in the complete opposite side he was on.

He knew it was stupid, ridiculous really. The way he’d started to learn your schedule in order to casually bump into on your way to class. He’d never tell his friends about it either, rather answering that it just happened by chance, everyday, almost every class.

The worst were the days when you didn’t even notice him. Usually when you saw him you’d offer a quick wave, gentle smile, anything that let him know you were aware of his presence. But some days you were in too much of a hurry, nose shoved in a textbook trying to cram the last bits of information into your pretty head before the test.

“Lovely of you to join us, Mr. Diggory.”

It was with seconds to spare that Cedric made it to class, and he kept his head low with a sheepish smile at the professor's jab. He got to his desk without any further issues and continued to daydream about his favorite girl.

He didn’t understand why he couldn’t just tell you of his feelings. You were friends, barely, but Cedric thought it enough to permit a date. And you never shied away from him, never rejected the hugs or cheek kisses. But something was stopping him, and each time he thought he'd mustered up the courage to ask you out on a proper date something in his mind would tell him that it just wasn’t the right time.

Cedric huffed as he pulled out his quill, having put off the inevitable long enough, and got to work on the first few arithmancy problems put on the blackboard.

“Oi! Ced, you gonna put your name in the cup?” Ernie Macmillan called from a few feet away.

Cedric and his friends had a free period, all of them deciding to go take a look at the elusive Goblet of Fire.

“Not unless you do it first.” Cedric laughed.

There was no way he’d compete in some tournament, he had enough responsibilities as it was.

Ernie gave a sarcastic laugh as he caught up with Cedric’s group, “Oh I’d love to, really, the possibility of getting killed always seemed rather exciting, but I’m under age. Right shame, that is.”

“Oh sure it.” One of Cedric’s friends commented before pulling Ernie into a headlock, a friendly gesture for sure, but Ernie did not appreciate the manhandling seeing as it messed up his robes and hair.

“Ced, I’d walk tall if I were you.” The same friend that had Ernie in a headlock whispered to Cedric.

Cedric didn’t need to ask what he meant, not when he walked into the room where the goblet was and there you were sitting with a few of your housemates, all adorned in the blue and silver scarves evidently to keep warm from the fresh rain that fell.

You were whispering about something with your friends, a square of paper held carefully between your finger tips. He connected the dots and assumed you were deciding on whether or not to put your name in the Goblet, and that was enough motivation for him.

“Ernie give me a piece of paper.”

“What? You're serious?” Ernie asked incredulously.

Cedric nodded, as he turned around hastily, “Yeah, come on mate, give me a piece of paper.”

You were making your way to the goblet already.

Cedric was quick to write his name and school before jogging toward you, only hoping the cup could read his rushed handwriting.

“Y/n, are you putting your name in?” He attempted to make small talk, watching as you paused just before the age line.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. You too?” You asked, the task at hand and now the boy making you rather nervous.

Cedric looked down at his paper with a nonchalant shrug, “Oh yeah, thought I might try my luck.”

“Come on, Ced!”

“Yeah, put it in Ced!”

He cringed at the calls from his friends, but relaxed as he watched you giggle at their antics.

“Together?” You asked, a small smile playing on your lips as you nudge your head in the direction of the goblet.

Cedric nodded and you both walked past the age line and to the cup, hands reaching up simultaneously. He gave a countdown before you both dropped your names in, and lucky you did it when you did because the Weasley twins were running in and starting a raucous around the area.

“I’ll see you later, Ced.” You waved at him as you walked back to your friends.

The time had come and Cedric sat at the Hufflepuff table with his knee bouncing. Truthfully he regretted putting his name, what if he is called? He can’t handle school, quidditch, clubs, and a tournament. So he begged Merlin his name would not be coming out of that list.

With two down and one to go, he got even more nervous. This was it, and he did not have a good feeling about this.

“And the Hogwarts Triwizard Champion is… Y/n L/n.”

He let out a breath upon first realization that it wasn't him. Then he paused for a moment as he thought about the name that had been called, your name had been called. He whipped his head around to find you in the crowd of cheering Ravenclaws, somehow spotting your wide smile just as you were being pushed to join Dumbledore. He caught your eye and offered a thumbs up as you just shrugged, face glowing with excitement and pride.

With the first task Cedric watched from the edge of his seat. You were battling a dragon and he wished it were him instead of you. And as you managed to get the egg, leaving the battle with a few burns and bruises but alive, he planned to ask you out. He’d finally be able to ask you out on the date he’s been planning in his mind for so long.

But then he saw you celebrating with your friends, and as you turned to look at him with soot on your face and a beaming smile he thought,

Maybe I should wait, let her celebrate then I’ll ask.

Then the Yule Ball was coming up and he decided he’d just have to ask you, only every time he tried his mind stopped his mouth from forming the words, and each time he had to live through the flash of disappointment that would cross your face when you realized he wasn’t going to ask you.

And when he did ask you to the Yule Ball, it was completely not how he thought it would go, the day still haunts him.

Cedric was on his way to your first class, he was planning to ask you to the Yule Ball. Today was the day, he decided, today was the day he was going to suck it up and start a relationship with you.

You were waiting just outside of the classroom, he had five minutes.

“Y/n, can I speak to you for a moment?”

Nodding, you broke away from your friends to a secluded area a few feet away.

“What’s up, Ced?” You looked up at him and he could’ve sworn he’d melt.

“Would you- Do you want to go to the Yule Ball… with me?” He asked, the heat on his cheeks making him more nervous.

“Oh, Cedric.” That was not the tone he was expecting.

You hated to tell him, really you did, and you wished he would’ve asked sooner but he didn’t and there was nothing you could do without being a complete ass.

“Someone’s already asked me. I’m going with George Weasley.”

It was one of his more embarrassing moments that he wished not to talk about. He left you to go to class with assurance that all was well and the next week he asked Cho to accompany him.

The dance was fun though it would’ve been better if he didn’t have to watch you and George dance together, leaning impossibly close to each other as you tried to speak over the music, and the slow dances were by far the most painstaking, but Cedric got through it.

The second task came around and again Cedric found himself, knee bouncing, lip biting, on the edge of his seat as he waited for you to come up from the water. His cheers were deafening the moment he saw you break through the surface of the water, best friend in tow. You had come in first place and Cedric was more than happy upon noticing that George was not the one you were saving from the lake, meaning you were still free and single. He decided the perfect time to tell you would be after the entire tournament, stress of the tasks gone, he’d be able to finally ask you out.

When the third task started rounding the corner, Cedric realized his crush had turned to something more. The way your hair fell, your laugh sounded, and voice floated through the air like the sweetest song. He was completely in love with you, your kindest and your wisdom, and your terrible habit of procrastinating that caused you to walk around with your know shoved in a book on certain days, a telltale sign that you had a test in the coming class. And maybe if he had told you about his feelings sooner, he would’ve known that your feelings mirrored his exactly.

“Ced, mate, she’ll be fine. Stop bouncing your leg, you're shaking the whole bloody row.” His friend tried to assure him, the annoyance of Cedric’s movement evident in his tone.

Cedric didn’t have the heart to tell him that it wasn’t her safety that had him anxious, he knew you were beyond capable of not only getting through the maze but getting through first. What made him anxious was that this was the last task and he no longer had the safety net of telling himself he’d wait until after the tournament to tell you about his feelings. He was less than excited about a possible rejection.

The task went on, hours turned to minutes, and now his anxiety was starting to tilt more toward your safety as the time ticked. It didn’t help when Fleur and Viktor forfeited, each looking worse than the other. But he was able to calm himself enough to listen to his friends gab on as he waited for you and Harry to make your way back.

The scream was what caught his attention, he had been turned listening Ernie talk about anything and everything to pass the time. The scream sounded painful, an ear splitting, blood curdling scream that made him wince. His eyes followed Fleur's eyeline, and his heart dropped as he caught sight of you on the floor with Harry shaking over you.

Cedric was out of his seat instantly, making his way down to where you were. He wasn’t shy with pushing people out of his way, making sure he got to you, making sure you were alright.

“She told me to bring her body back. She told me to bring her body back and then she just stopped moving.” Harry cried.

Cedric felt himself freeze at the words. Your body. He had never heard of anyone referring to someone as a body, at least not someone living. The words flashed through his mind as he threw himself to the ground next to you. Your body, not you, not Y/n, just your body, as if you weren't there.

“Get Madam Pomfrey, she’s not dead. Not yet.” Dumbledore said to Snape, his voice carrying a deadly seriousness as he went from telling people what to do for you and listening to Harry as he yelled about someone being back.

Everything happened very quickly, within the next hour you had been taken to the medical wing and had been treated for your injuries. Hexes and dark magic Cedric had never even heard of, you were now being treated for and he couldn’t help but curse himself as he was losing hope in you recovering.

Now at hour five, you had been in this room longer than you had been in that maze. Cedric refused to leave, no matter the pushes and pleas from Madam Pomfrey and even his head of house, Professor Sprout.

He wouldn’t leave, not now, not ever. He had wasted too much time waiting and now he was paying for it as you made him wait, wait for an answer as to whether or not you’d pull through.

The chair he was sitting in was unforgiving on his back, but the dull ache was of no importance to him at the moment. With his hand holding your smaller, colder, and paler one, he couldn’t bring himself to care about his dull pains.

“I’m too late.” He admitted to himself, suddenly feeling the tears sting his eyes.

“I always thought I had time, time to tell you that I love- I love you, Y/n.”

You were silent, hand still limp and it made his heart hurt.

“My beautiful Y/n,” He brought his hand to gently caress your face, “I fell in love with your smile, it was always the best part of my day, and the look you give me in class whenever something funny would happen. I fell in love with the way your hair would glow in the sun, giving you a halo that seemed so natural around your head. And I fell in love with the way you procrastinate, yet somehow manage to get incredibly high marks on your tests, and the way you’d light up any room you walked into. I fell in love with you, Y/n.” He gave a sad laugh at his rambling that turned to a choked breath.

Cedric feared the worst, that he had truly wasted his time waiting.

“Mhm”

He froze. The sound was small, almost missed but it most definitely was not from him.

“Y/n?”

You let out another sound, and your eyebrows furrowed this time.

“It’s alright, I’m here.” Cedric cooed as he moved closer to your head.

“Ced…”

“Yeah, it’s me, it’s Cedric. You’re ok, love, just relax.”

You shook your head as you tried to sit up, eyes opening just barely, but the movement made you incredibly nauseous so you decided against it. You had heard him, you heard everything but it was difficult for you to tell him you felt the same way at the moment.

“Mmm, love you.” It was all you could manage before you had to close your eyes again and take a moment to recuperate.

“Yeah, love you, can I get you any- what?” Cedric paused.

“Love you too, Ced.” You smiled, eyes still closed.

Cedric felt his heart soar, you were alive, you were alright, and you were in love with him.

#Cedric Diggory #cedric diggory imagine #cedric diggory x reader #cedric diggory x ravenclaw #cedric diggory imagines #Harry Potter imagines

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years ago

Note

Indruck 22 for the meet uglies?

Here you go! I went SFW on this one

you’re on a date with this awful, awful person who keeps getting under my skin because my friend and I have been eavesdropping all night and your date says something that makes me snap … I thought it was a first date, not a three year relationship

“...such a waste of money. I mean, why spend all that to get something tacky on your skin?”

Indrid rolls his eyes at Barclay from across the counter of the Amnesty Lodge coffee shop, the cooks arms and hands sporting a plethora of tattoos rivaled only by Indrid’s collection.

“I dunno, l like the one I got.” The other man--who seems to be on the worst first date of his life--shrugs.

“You honestly think you and Juno couldn’t have spent that money on something else in college?”

“I mean maybe but, uh, we were earnin our own cash, figured we got to decide what to spend it on.”

“Hmmmm” the first guy sips his coffee, “sounds like a typical excuse for someone who doesn’t want to admit a mistake.”

“C’mon, that ain’t fair-”

“Ugh, stop saying ain’t! I can’t take someone who talks like that to meet my family.” Before the target of his disdain can respond, he snaps his fingers, “hey, buddy, can I get a refill or what?”

“The station for black coffee refills is right there, sir.” Barclay indicates the very obvious corner of dispensers, his voice the kind of calm that Indrid knows means he’s memorizing this guys face to warn other staff about.

They earn a brief reprieve while The Asshole leaves the table. When he returns, he’s shaking his head.

“God, have you looked at the photos they’ve got up? Who the fuck wants to look at bones?”

Indrid quickly glances at his friend to be sure he’s permitted to start a fight. Barclay nods.

“Quite a lot of people.” Indrid spins on his stool. “I’ve sold a number of them just from the display here. So perhaps you could keep your rude, unclultured, close-minded, obnoxious mouth shut.”

The man balks, looks to his companion for help. He offers none, mouth trying to form words and only coming out with halves of ones (except for the “fucks” which are plentiful).

“Oh my fucking god, you agree with him! That’s it, I’m out.” The Asshole pushes back from the table and storms out. The remaining man leaps up, panicked.

“Fuck.”

“It’s okay man, shitty first dates happen to all of us.” Barclay offers from beside the bakery case.

“I mean yeah, they do, but that wasn’t one of ‘em. That was my boyfriend of three fuckin years.” He dashes out of the shop, sparing a final glare at Indrid as he does.

Indrid trades a sheepish look with his friend, “Oops.”

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m glad you finally get to meet Duck!” Aubrey grins over her shoulder as she and Indrid wind down the hall at the office Kepler magazine.

Founded by childhood friends, Kepler worked a combination of print and video content that saw its subscribers and revenue climb while other publications struggled to stay afloat. Aubrey was head of the video team, though she contributed content to the magazine in the form of interviews about environmental activists of color and sustainable gift guides.

Kepler has three sections: travel, science, and environmental writing. Indrid now has the honor of being one of their primary photographers. He started two weeks ago and is thoroughly enjoying his work and the company of the other staff. The only person he’s yet to meet is Duck Newton, one of the founders and main reporters, as he was off on an assignment.

Aubrey knocks, gets a friendly “come in” and ushers Indrid into the office.

Looking at him from behind the desk is The Asshole’s Boyfriend, whose face goes from open and friendly to confused, then to perturbed.

“You okay?”

“I, uh, fuck, n-ye.” Duck sighs, “remember how I told you Alex and I split after a shitty date in a coffee shop?” He points at Indrid, “this was the fella who, uh, expedited the process.”

“Ohhhh.” Aubrey frowns, then shrugs with a smile, “whelp, he’s our new photographer. We’ll see you around.” She hurries them outside once more, shutting the doors. As they head back the way they came, she whispers, “his ex was a huge fucking dick, so if word gets out everyone is gonna think you’re a fucking hero.”

“He didn’t seem to see it that way.”

“It was only a few weeks ago, so it’s still pretty fresh. He’ll heal from it okay, Duck’s a tough cookie. And I’m sure you guys’ll get along eventually.”

---------------------------------------

“Juno, please, you gotta come with me.”

“I would bud, except it’s April and I’s fifth wedding anniversary that weekend. And no, we already have plans, so we can’t just take over this assignment as part of the celebration.”

“Fuck” Duck leans back in his chair.

“...You really asked everyone?”

“Ye-no, fuck-”

“Duck.”

“I ain’t asked Indrid yet.”

“There it is.” Juno smirks, “you gotta ask; besides, we were gonna have him do illustrations for the feature, but photos would be even better. And we both know it ain’t his fault y’all broke up.”

Duck nods, promises to ask Indrid after lunch. He finds the photographer flipping through his files from his shoot for next issues cover. His silver hair is pulled back, red glasses sitting on the desk beside him so he can gauge color correctly.

Duck kind of wants to pull the silver locks just to see what happens. It’s not his fault Indrid looks like his Sophomore roommate who he had a raging crush on, only with more tattoos and a much more captivating face. Pity he helped fuck up Duck’s last chance at a stable relationship.

“Hey, Indrid, you got a minute?”

The photographer cocks his head.

“I, uh, so we got a feature on this whole chunk of places touting themselves as ‘sustainable romantic getaways. I booked a bunch of places, but a lot of ‘em will turn me away if I turn up solo. And the person I was supposed to go with ain’t an option any more. Neither is anyone else. You get my drift?”

Indrid pinches the bridge of his nose, “you realize this is a terrible idea, yes?”

“Hey, we been workin together just fine. Ain’t we? Wait, fuck, I ain’t been treatin you bad even when I’m tryin to be professional, am I?”

“No, you’ve been perfectly polite. But there’s a world of difference between being cordial in an office and going on what’s functionally a vacation together.”

Duck crosses his arms, “I ain’t about to lose eight hundred bucks in deposits.”

Indrid blinks, then chuckles, “Fair. What day do we leave?”

-------------------------------------------------

The temperature rises and the air dries as they speed south on Five. Indrid fiddles with games on his phone as cover for the list of “will this be a disaster or not” he’s mentally constructing. So far the signs are positive; Duck isn’t very chatty, but neither is Indrid. They have similar tastes in music, which makes much more sense when Duck explains he was a burn-out in high school. He also isn’t agitated by Indrid stimming, which makes it easier for the photographer to relax and enjoy the drive.

But they haven’t spoken about the elephant in the car, and Indrid resolves not to be the first to do so. No point in poking the sore spot if he doesn’t have to.

They stop at a Sinclair for gas. Duck reaches into his glovebox for something as Indrid climbs out, comes away with a photo instead. It’s one of those ones from a photobooth, faded but unmistakably him and his ex. His face falls for a second and Indrid scurries into the Dairy Queen attached to the convenience store.

As he waits in line, he turns one fact over in his mind like a picture he’s trying to make sense of; it would be easier to let their awkward first meeting go if he did not genuinely like the other man. He’s charming, in a quiet way, and very friendly. He’s built like the guys Indrid always got useless crushes on in college, usually third tier frat boys or--if he was lucky--a bear a few years older than him who liked his men on the odd side.

He doesn’t like seeing Duck sad. The sadness isn’t something he can fix. The stalemate between these two facts annoy the living hell out of him.

He’s next in line, glances up to confirm what he wants, and gets an idea. Last week, he overheard Duck talking with Aubrey about roadtrip snacks of their youth.

“One chocolate dipped cone, on me.” He holds the treat out to the other man.

“Oh. Uh, thanks. These are my favorite from when I was a kid.” Duck’s smile returns.

“I remembered. Or, ah, that is, I remembered you saying that.”

The smile changes, “you didn’t need to.”

“I wanted to. Shall we?”

“Yep. Uh, you gonna be able to drive and eat that at the same time?”

“Do not doubt my ability to consume ice cream under difficult circumstances, Duck Newton.”

They make it to their first stop unscathed. It’s what Duck refers to as, “eco-bespoke,” a fancy spa and hotel built in a former school, the kind that was made in an era of beautiful instead of grim educational architecture.

“Goats!” Indrid claps his hands, delighted, at the two animals stabled near the main building. One of it’s supposed sustainable elements is the small farm that helps feed the on-site restaurant. Duck smirks and Indrid suddenly feels the gulf in their upbringings, “Ah, I suppose they’re not exciting to someone who grew up in a rural town.”

“Nah, but they’re damn cute.” Duck checks the tag on their room keys, “okay, we’re in the green building, room 2B.”

Indrid snaps some photos as they cross the grounds, more to remind himself of things he wants to come back to later than anything else. He’s busy studying a strange mark on the wall by their door when Duck says, “I can sleep on the floor.”

“Why--oh” he stares at the single bed, “in retrospect, we should have seen this coming.”

“Yeah.” Duck drops his bag near the closet, slides the door to look for spare linens. Indrid summons his courage, finds it lacking, and so bolsters it with nonchalance.

“It’s a king, we could easily share.”

“You’d, uh, you’d be okay with that?”

“It is only narrow definitions of masculinity that mean something like sharing a bed is inherently sexual.”

He’s not entirely sure that made sense, but Duck nods, “You want the right side or left?”

“Right, please.”

“Great. And, uh, Indrid? Thanks for rollin with all this. I, uh, I know it’s fuckin weird but this is a huge feature for the magazine and we woulda been fucked if we had to pull it.”

Indrid gingerly sits on his side of the bed, “You’re welcome. And I don;t know about you, but” he smiles, catches Duck watching him intently in the mirror, “I’m enjoying myself so far.”

------------------------------------------------------

“Why has an activity that renders one incapable of using their thighs been deemed ‘romantic?” Indrid mumbles, face-down on the bed to offer his burning legs relief.

“Fuck if I know.” Duck groans as he sits next to him, “Kinda fun, but if I was doin this to get you in bed, I’d be fucked.”

“I am in bed” Indrid teases.

“And if I tried to put the moves of you you’d toss me outta it. Assumin I could even move myself that close.” Duck nudges him, then clears his throat, “uh, I mean, not like we’d be doin that-”

“Nono, point taken.” Indrid rolls over. The horseback ride was one of the “couples exclusives;” a trot out to a beautiful oasis for a gourmet picnic. Indrid got some excellent shots, including one of Duck with honeycomb dripping down his chin, which he will not be offering up to editors but may keep for himself. For it’s beautiful composition, of course.

Mercifully, their next stop is the pool. Indrid settles himself in the hot tub while Duck types some notes on his phone. Then his friend doffs his bathrobe and Indrid may as well be in a dream. In the steaming, echoing paradise of multi-colored tile and ecstatic shouts, Duck stands like one of the angelic fountains at its heart has come to life.

“You okay there, ‘Drid?”

“Yes.” He hopes his lack of glasses means Duck will mistake his blatant staring for trying to get his vision in focus.

“Then scoot your cu--uh, your butt over so I can sit down.”

Indrid gladly moves aside, finds he’s so comfortable with Duck pressed against him that he begins nodding off in the warm lull of the water. When the other man nudges him, saying it’s time to go, he finds a strong arm draped over his shoulder and Duck’s smile the most relaxed it’s been all trip.

Their last task at this location is to locate the speakeasy somewhere on the premises and order the “lovers delight” (only available to couples). To do so, they follow clues purple light bulbs, doors that lead to tiny, art-filled rooms, secret staircases, and a false supply closet to a dark wooded, dimly lit, incredibly pleasant bar looking out over the property. The drink turns out to be a massive goblet (more a bowl that someone stuck on a stem) of ginger syrup, prickly pear juice, and silver tequila.

It also turns out to be incredibly strong. So much so that when they get back to the room, Indrid loses his balance getting his shoes off, which makes Duck laugh, which results in both of them flopping onto the bed.

“S’fun. You’re, you’re real good at the clues. Should, should go to an escape room when we get home.”

“Wasn’t, hic, that hard. They, they want, hic, want you to find it.”

“Take the compliment, goofus” Duck pushes his shoulder.

“You’re, hic, the goofus.”

“Nuh uh.” Duck sticks his tongue out. Indrid does the same, then licks his cheek just to hear him laugh.

Duck rolls onto his back, giggles dying down to a contemplative sigh, “He woulda hated this.”

“Your ex?” Indrid crawls to stay close to him.

“Yeah. Everythin I like, or, or thought was fun, he thought it was a waste of time or just plain worthless. He, he wasn’t like that at the start. Dunno what changed. Probably me. Probably got borin. Got worse.”

Indrid is not so drunk that he believes he can fix this. But he’s just drunk enough to stroke Duck’s cheek and murmur, “No. Nono, hic, you’re th’best.”

He doesn’t remember falling asleep after that, but he must have, because his phone is beeping at them to get up and face the day. They do so with to-go coffees in one hand and their bags in the other, neither speaking of the night before until Indrid has turned the car into deeper desert.

“Sorry for gettin on a thing about Alex last night.”

“It was a three year relationship; goodness knows you’re allowed to have feelings about it.”

“Even relief?”

Indrid glances at him, “Of course.”

His friend leans back in his seat, sipping from his travel mug, “That’s half the reason I been in such a funk. I feel like I oughta be sad, then I feel guilty for the fact I’m relieved instead. But if I really was that unhappy in it, why did I hang around so long? Maybe that was the best I deserved, y’know?”

“I know the feeling, yes, but I can’t say I agree with your statement. You deserve someone who sees you for who you are and adores it, not someone who loved what you once were and became bitter when you grew.”

Duck looks at the console between them, at Indrid’s chipped black nails and the hand he hopes isn’t shaking. He squeezes it a moment longer than necessary, “Thanks, ‘Drid. It’s nice to hear that from someone who’s still gettin to know me. Juno and them, they’re my friends, I know they’re in my corner but, uh, sometimes I worry that anyone new is gonna find me dull or somethin like that.”

“I’m sure some people would, just as some take one look at me and decide I’m a weirdo who they don’t want to deal with. But I can say with certainty that I don’t find you that way.”

Duck grins all the way to their destination. It’s a quirky trailer park full of amenities and built mostly from salvaged materials, doing it’s best to run off the grid. It also gives each trailer a theme, and Indrid flaps his hands when he sees they’ve been booked in the “The Cramps” themed one.

“Hell yeah.” Duck mirrors his excitement as they open the door. Their haven from the desert sun is full of kitschy horror artifacts and a much smaller bed than the previous spot. There’s no debate this time; Indrid settles on the right, Duck on the left, and they settle in for a nap before venturing out to work.

They take in the bar, the arcade, the mini-golf course, and the “couples supply room” (“damn, didn’t know they made eggnog scented massage oil” “ooh, I like how that smells”), but Duck turns out to be most excited to rent a stargazing kit and guide Indrid out into the dark desert. They’re on their backs, shoulder to shoulder and munching chocolate covered fruit, when he discovers the source of his glee.

“There!” Duck points to a crackling streak of silver.

“A meteor” Indrid wiggles happily as a second one speeds through his view.

“It’s the Perseids, and this is a damn good place to watch ‘em. Look, there’s another one.” He’s breathless each time and Indrid’s heart threatens to beat hard enough to crack the earth at the sound.

“Did you ever wish on stars when you were little?”

“Yep. Never asked for much worth notin, though I’m pretty sure I wished once to just wake up and be a boy. Or, uh, guess for everyone to see me as one. What about you?”

“I wished...I wished for someone to do things like this with, some who’d kiss me and tell me that they didn’t need to wish because what they wanted was right here.. I love the world, I want to see so much of it, that’s half the reason I chose my profession.. But when I was young I thought I’d be with someone when I did. I thought it was easy to find that kind of love. To be worthy of it.”

“Hey now” Duck rolls onto his side. He’s backlit by the moon, meteors zipping behind him as if they, just like Indrid, are pulled to him, “what happened to all the stuff you said in the car about deservin someone who adores you?”

“It’s easy to apply such things to you, harder to believe them about myself.”

“How come?”

“Because you are everything a sensible person could want in a man and I am not.”

“That’s where you’re wrong” He sets a hand next to Indrid’s shoulder, “Can think of at least one sensible fella who wants to get to know you a whole hell of a lot.”

“He’ll get to know me plenty, we’re co-workers.”

“There are different kinds of gettin to know someone.” Duck dips down, brushes their noses together, “for instance, the last few days I’ve gotten to know you’re a damn good travel companion and that Ned was smart to hire you. But I’ve also gotten to know there’s some things about you I really wanna know.”

“Such as?” Indrid’s fingers find Duck’s sides.

“Such as whether you wanna go on a date with me when we get back. No assignment, just the two of us gettin some time together.”

“I want nothing more.” He leans up to kiss him, feels him shudder happily when their lips meet. Indrid wonders how long it’s been since someone kissed Duck like they meant it, and resolves to make up any deficits with an enthusiasm that would put horny eighteen year olds to shame.

Indrid nips Ducks ear, “you know, were it not for the threat of mosquitos and scorpions, I’d suggest we make good use of the non-food items in that basket.”

Ducks grin lights Indrid up like a comet, “Then howsabout we go test just how conducive our trailer is to romance?”

Indrid kisses him adoringly, “Lead on, sweetheart; I’ll follow you anywhere.”

#indruck #indrid cold/ duck newton #meet ugy

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 3 years ago

Text

The Next Day...

…

N-Ngh?

Ah. Look who’s finally awake.

*Kaede stirs awake after somehow falling asleep. She sits up and looks around. She realizes that she’s laying down in some sort of bed, with Kaito and Maki sitting next to her.

Wh-Where am I?

The hospital ward of the Future Foundation main building.

Oh…did I…pass out?

I think all the stress of what happened yesterday got to you. By the time we were on our way back and things had calmed down, I think your body was expended of all strength.

Well, it was also pretty late in the evening. Shuichi, Kokichi, Kuripa and Munakata were all taken away in ambulances. When the medical team heard what happened to you, they took you in to the emergency ward too.

I see…

*The group is suddenly joined by a fourth person.

Ah, good. You’re awake. Great news.

Hello Mikan. Where’d you go?

Sorry about that. I just got a call from Ibuki checking up on me.

Seems your girlfriend is trying to look out for you.

She’s worried, since I’m not going to be able to leave this place for a while.

What do you mean?

Well, aside from the sudden surge of high priority patients I’ve gotten…

My Boss has enforced a massive lockdown of the central building that we’re inside right now.

Every key member of the Foundation in in this building, and no one is allowed in or out.

Why?

It’s ‘cause he wants to catch the traitor. The good news about everything that happened is that Makoto and Kuripa are no longer on the suspect menu, at least not from the way Byakuya sees things.

But it also means the real traitor’s still at large. And this might be our one and only chance to rat them out.

The issue is that Shuichi is likely the key Byakuya needs to save everyone in the Foundation, and he’s currently indisposed.

I-Indisposed!? Wait, I-I need to-

*Kaede is just about to get out of bed, when suddenly she stops and looks at Mikan.

Um…sorry…With your permission Nurse Tsumiki, may I go and pay Shuichi Saihara and Kokichi Ouma a visit?

That depends. Are you feeling better after your electrocution?

I’ll admit, I’m not 100%, but I can definitely stand on my own.

Please, I have to go and see them.

Hm…

*Mikan thinks for a bit.

Kokichi Ouma is in a very severe position right now. I only have a small handful of nurses that I’ve been given, and we’re mainly treating him. So regrettably, I cannot permit you to see him.

Shuichi Saihara on the other hand should be alright. He’s also badly injured, and has a few damages inside and out, but he’s at least been able to recover enough to talk.

I warn you, don’t try to get him to get out of bed. I need to at least keep the patients I have on hand so I don’t lose any more of them.

“Lose any more of them…!?” D-Don’t tell me-!?

Calm down, it’s not what it sounds like.

Kuripa Kurafto just left by himself a couple of hours ago. Mikan tried to stop him, but he said he was fine.

Didn’t he get stabbed!?

He got stabbed quite a few times, but once I patched up his bigger wounds, he just left. He said he wasn’t in pain and walked out by himself.

He really is a very difficult patient!

I’d say that it’s impossible that he wasn’t hurting, but if he could walk out by himself…wow…he’s like some kind of superhuman.

Well, he’s definitely got a beastly side to him, that’s for sure.

Anyway, if you’re able to stand on your own, then yes, you may visit him. He’s not too far away right now.

He was in the same ward as Kuripa, but as you now know, he’s already left. So he’s free to be spoken to on his own.

Thank you very much Mikan. I’m sorry about all the trouble I’ve caused.

An injured patient should never have to apologize about being injured. Just make sure you take care of yourself, ok?

…

*Shuichi is awake, but lies very still and upright in his bed.

Good afternoon Mr Saihara.

Afternoon!? H-How long was I out for!?

You deserved a good rest Kaede. None of us were gonna try and wake you when you passed out in the back of the ambulance.

I’m sure you’ve figured it out for yourself, but you do have visitors.

…!

*Shuichi raises his head, as Kaede, Maki and Kaito step into the room behind Mikan.

Oh…hi guys…

Hey, you reckless hooligan.

You aren’t gonna let me live this down for a while, are you?

Well…I don’t think I need to, given what’s happened. It’s unlikely you’ll ever allow yourself to forget this experience.

No…You’re right about that…

More importantly, how are you Kaede…? You were in a bit of a mess yesterday.

I’m fine now. But…How are you holding up?

Shuichi’s condition goes beyond his scars, burns and injuries from the fire. According to my examination, he’s suffered heatstroke, sleep deprivation and lack of appetite in last few days.

Well, we have been busy, but I thought I told you you needed to take better care of yourself?

Sorry ma’am.

Hey…Mikan, sorry if you can’t give me a real answer to this, but…how long has Shuichi gotta stay here?

At least another night. It won’t be a problem though. This lockdown isn’t likely to end any time soon, and this hospital room is heavily guarded each night.

…That’s a relief. Thank you.

…

*Kaede suddenly notices Shuichi tucks his hands underneath his covers.

Shuichi…

Yes?

…Show me your hands.

…!

*Shuichi fidgets uncomfortably.

I-I’m not sure that you want to see that…

Oh, I’m sure I want to see that, now give me your hand.

H-Hey! Kaede wait!

Ms Akamatsu, please, don’t be so rough with the injured patients!

*Kaede barely listens and reaches under the cover, grabbing Shuichi’s wrist and pulling it out from hiding.

Yaah!

…!

…

*Kaede takes one look at Shuichi’s charred fingers and palms, and very nearly breaks down in tears.

…

Hehe…hideous, isn’t it? This is why I didn’t want you looking at them. But leave it up to you to always be pushy.

I-I don’t really want to say this, given all of the pain and stress you’ve been through, but...you all have a right to know.

The scarring and burns...they likely aren’t going to go away naturally...

So they’re permanent, huh? Jesus...

...

…

Shuichi…I’m so-

Don’t you dare finish that sentence.

…!

I’m not going through this song and dance with you again Kaede. Frankly I’m getting tired of it.

Ever since this case began, you’ve been by my side, providing for me, taking care of me when I falter, and noticing things that I might have missed. Effectively, from the start, you’ve been nothing but helpful, and that hasn’t changed even now.

I can promise you this. Even if he hadn’t gotten his hands on you, Munakata would somehow have found out about the High Roller. And it was clear that he’d planned this attack, since the bombs had already been planted before the Future Foundation arrived.

The fact that I chose to run in there to save Kokichi by myself is my own fault. You have nothing to do with this.

But I-

No if’s, what’s, how’s or but’s. I only care about the truth, and that there is the truth.

Besudes…It’s not the worst thing you know.

How is it not the worst thing…!? Look at you!

Well, sure my hands might be permanently scarred…but at least I’ve still got them.

You say that, but you’ve been unable to hold your spoon properly when you’ve been eating your soup.

W-Well, I’ll get over that with time, surely?

…

Look Kaede, just stop blaming yourself for everything bad that happens to me. The only person to blame for what happened to me is myself.

That’s not really true either though, you know that, right?

Huh?

I don’t know if either of you heard about it already…actually I don’t see how you could have…

But it turns out that Kyosuke Munakata had been brainwashed by Organization Zetsubou. Just like how Gonta had.

Everything, absolutely everything that’s happened ever since the Samidare bombing incident, has all gone according to the Future Foundation traitor’s plans.

We’ve all been lab rats in this little game they’ve written.

In which case…we need to catch them.

The lockdown will at least prevent any potential suspects from escaping. Meanwhile, you can take some time to recover.

Yeah, I know better than to argue with the nurse at least.

Hehe.

So we’ll resume our investigation once I’ve made a proper recovery. Does that sound good, “Detective Assistant Akamatsu?”

…

Ahaha…ok…But you had better take it easy, alright?

I will.

So, from what I can tell from this last checkup, your body seems to have made an almost full recovery from the trauma it experienced from the car battery.

The rest will take care of itself, but…try not to go near any electrical outlets or machines for a little while, ok? You’re free to leave today regardless.

Thank you very much Nurse Tsumiki. I’ll be sure to bring you a gift basket at some point. You deserve a raise.

*Kaede then leaves with Kaito and Maki.

So what’re you gonna do now Kaede?

…

Sorry to brush you guys off, but I need to do some things alone for now.

Shuichi said that this wasn’t my fault…but I need to make sure that something like this never happens ever again. I’ve got someone I need to talk to.

*Kaede exaunts.

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa 2 #dr2 #kaede akamatsu #shuichi saihara #kaito momota #maki harukawa #mikan tsumiki #the fugitive arc

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secret-engima · 4 years ago

Note

Here I am. The anon who enables. The enabler anon. Send forth your RWBY verses' rambles *opens arms wide to receive* (only if you want to of course)

ANON WHO ENABLES. ENABLER ANON. BLESS.

Wolfcury:

-Blake isn’t sure what to expect of her new teammates, but Ruby having a GIANT WOLFDOG is not one of them. It takes- a long time for Blake to not flinch and throw herself onto something high whenever Mercury shows up, even though he TRIES to not be a gremlin and bark or prank her.

-Weiss lasts maybe three days before she breaks out the baby talk. Because while Mercury is big he’s still a dog and we’ve seen how Weiss responds to Zwei. Mercury is annoyed by the baby talk and ignores her until Ruby convinces Weiss to “please just talk normally”. Then he will permit the scratching of ears.

-Weiss and Blake are both going to be SO SHOCKED (and upset) that Mercury is actually a person and they were never told.

-Ruby gets super into prosthetics and the building of them because of Mercury. She knows they can get him a prosthetic human leg, but it’s not going to transform into a wolf leg when he does. That technology just- doesn’t exist in that specific way yet. So Ruby decides at age ten or so that she’s gonna make one.

-Ruby: It’s transform when you do and it’ll be great and it’s also gonna be a *gun*.

-Mercury: Ruby I have teeth and claws, I don’t need a gun for a leg.

-Ruby, excitedly drawing prototype blueprints: GUNLEG.

-She does in fact build him a transforming gunnel with Velvet’s help. Mercury is a goodnatured Sigh.

-MercuryxEmerald is the eventual ship planned, and Yang teases him mercilessly for it once she’s sure Emerald is serious about defecting to the good guys. I’m also dabbling in Rosegarden (is that the ship name? OscarxRuby) because the idea of Ruby going from “ew crushes” to having one of her own amuses the heck out of me.

Always I Dreamed (Raven AU):

-Raven has a propensity for adopting things, as evidenced by Ozpin and later Emerald. But it doesn’t stop with them, and her habits are infectious. At various points in Yang’s childhood, she gets a gruff ex-assassin sibling from Mom (Mercury), two adorable cousins from Uncle Qrow (Ren and Nora), one angry older sister bandit (Vernal), a Cool Big Sister Figure with Fire Powers (Amber), and of also another Big Sister with Many Issues of The Anger that Raven carefully helps her work through. This particular big sister is a fav of Ruby’s because she can make cool toys from black glass.

-Yes Raven is fixit adopting Cinder

-No I didn’t see that coming either, neither did Raven. It just kinda- happened.

-Raven absolutely sings RWBY songs sometimes. Usually “Home” as a sibling lullaby for Qrow and later Team STORQ, then later All Our Days for her kids. But sometimes she can be heard humming other themes under her breath.

Azur verse:

-I’ve mentioned that Ozpin is a former Khara and proceeds to adopt Azur the feral Khara child, but I can’t resist touching on how Azur and Qrow meet.

-Azur is feral bby. He woke up in this world in the wilds and his Semblance (or magic, Oz is still not sure which it is) saved him from Grimm, and Azur tended to follow Grimm everywhere because they kept the other predators away. So this child is very feral when Oz finally coaxes him into his house. Azur is also protective and dedicated and knows that the only two people who come here are Ozdad and Housekeeper Lady.

-So when Qrow, very drunk and newly returned from a mission, decides to crash on Oz’s couch, Azur doesn’t have a clue that this is normal and fine. Cue Qrow being attacked and knocked out by a very persistent and angry 7-10 year old.

-Ozpin comes home to a trashed living room, a very proud Azur, and a Qrow who has been tied up using every bit of rope, string, or wire Azur could find and is nursing both a concussion and a hangover.

-Ozpin unties Qrow and explains he’s welcome here once he’s stopped laughing himself sick.

Dragon Yang:

-Yang really likes Ozpin. *Really* likes him. It’s not a crush or anything, but she went from a world soaked in magic to Remnant which has barely any left and it makes her feel off balance and numb. Then she goes to Beacon and the Headmaster HAS MAGIC. She can feel it. So she starts to heavily gravitate toward him when possible because he feels “normal”

-Ozpin, who has been the object of many school hood crushes, takes a bit to realize that Yang is not yet another student with a crush. And then he’s confused on why she keeps falling into his orbit when possible.

-He has no idea that in this magic-starved world, he is basically the living equivalent of dragon slayer catnip.

-Oznip.

-Ruby also thinks Yang has a crush and is thoroughly grossed out because *Yang he’s a TEACHER*. Yang just laughs at her baby sister’s discomfort.

Noctscar:

-Luna wakes up slowly, in fits and starts and dreams of rain and a knife in her side. She wakes up to the cold, to the loneliness, and then wakes up further because no child should have to deal with this.

-Luna wakes up when she is once again eleven years old and stares at herself in the mirror.

-Weiss Schnee, second daughter of Willow and Jaques Schnee, looks back. And looks *tired*.

-Her sister has already joined Altas academy and is on the fast track to the military, and though she loves her sister, it smacks greatly of Ravus from a lifetime ago and Luna cannot bear to look at Winter sometimes because of it.

-She dotes on her little brother, on poor Whitley who is neither stubborn like Winter or an old soul like Luna and yet is stuck in this abusive, neglectful household. She tries to shield him from mother’s blank stares and father’s sharp bursts of temper. She has lived with bruises like this before, better she take it than Whitley.

-When she is young, she hears on the news in school that there was a mining accident, that a great many Faunus died. While the rest of her classmates titter, one girl who Luna always avoided because she hung out with a crowd Luna didn’t trust, bursts into tears and turns bright blue. The other girls recoil. Luna sits down next to the girl and holds her hand, not hiding the tears falling from her own face at the thought of such massive loss of life.

-She never sees the Faunus girl again, but it is a wake up call. A reminder that something is very likely *wrong* with her father’s company. So she investigates.

-She is twelve the first time she sneaks out in a hoodie and a little painted theater mask. She makes it all the way down to Mantle, and there she reaches for blistered hands and weary souls. She is no longer an Oracle, but magic is of the soul and she remembers it well. When she calls, golden magic answers. She heals until she is exhausted, and somehow she manages to make it home without falling over or getting caught by Klein. She does it again, in between recitals and school and taking care of Whitley, she continues to sneak down to Mantle. Never speaking, never showing her face (they would hate her for her blood if they knew, she knows, reject her help if they saw her white hair and blue eyes), but always helping and healing where she can.

-The people of Mantle name her. Ghost, they call her.

-Moon Angel, the Faunus whisper. Helper, healer, lost soul.

-When she is thirteen, Luna signs up to a combat school despite her father’s disapproval. When Whitley clings to her in fear that she too will abandon him as Winter has (Winter visits to rarely, and always her attention rests solely on Weiss when she does and it makes Luna so *angry*), Luna tells him her plan. She will become a Huntress, and when she has her license, nothing will stop her from coming and taking him away from this place. She will be able to make money to provide for them, to free them from this cold palace of finery and recitals and empty wine bottles and bruises under their clothes in the shape of a man’s hands.

-When she is seventeen she applies to Beacon rather than Atlas, in defiance more than desire. She bids Whitley goodbye and promises once again to come back for him, he just needs to hold on a little longer.

-There is faith in his eyes as he waves her off. Luna died keeping her word, her duty, in another life. She will do no less here.

#SE asks #anon asks #Always I Dreamed verse #Run Wolf Warrior verse #One in a Hundred verse #Through the Dark verse #Dragon Yang verse #Secret Engima Rambles

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bleachluna · 3 years ago

Text

Letters

Ended up skipping day 2 of @hitsukarinweek as I had no ideas for it but here’s my fic for day 3! Also on AO3

Dear Toshiro,

Can you please explain to me how the hell Soul Society managed to copy mobile phones from humans, and even put hollow tracking technology in them, but didn't make them able to send stuff across realms? I know you explained that SS phones in soul society can only contact those in soul society, and when they're here in the human world they can only contact those here, but I only realised how ridiculously stupid that is until after you left. What if there's an emergency and you need to contact someone across realms for whatever reason? Surely you need to get this fixed, I cannot believe if I want to talk to you I'm stuck writing letters like it's the 1800s. I'm even writing more formally than I expected, apparently letter writing brings it out of me and I absolutely hate it. You've gotta fix it. Not to mention I'm not a fan of leaving letters for Urahara to pass on for me, I'm not totally convinced he won't read them.

Anyway, it's been a couple of months since I saw you last. That's probably a good thing, that a captain hasn't been needed here, but I'll admit I wonder about you sometimes, I hope everything is ok on your end! I don't know what it was about turning sixteen but all of a sudden all of this stuff about trying to figure out careers is on me constantly. Yuzu figured out years ago that she wanted to go into healthcare, she took to it way back when we were kids. She was originally planning to go into nursing but her grades have improved a lot recently, she might be a doctor instead, but she's also thinking about midwifery. So there's stuff she's gotta figure out for sure, but at least she knows what area she wants to go into? I don't even have that. I mean how do you figure out what to do with the rest of your life when you're sixteen? I haven't even figured myself out yet. How did you decide to become a shinigami?

Other than that though things are ok. School is a little stressful because grades suddenly feel so much more important, but the work's manageable at least. Hollow level seems to be stable at the minute too which is great, one less thing to worry about! And Urahara improved his reiatsu blocking bracelet thing, I've had this one for almost four months and it hasn't broken so even less chance of getting eaten! Always a plus. But anyway, I hope things are good on your end as well, and that you aren't buried up to your ears in paperwork. Let me know if you ever have any plans to pop up in the human world!

Best Wishes,

Karin

P.S. - I sent this on the 22nd of June, let me know when this gets to you/when you send yours, I wanna know what sort of delivery time we're looking at here.

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

I don't even remotely have the skills or know-how to fix something like that, that's what the Research & Development Team is for. I agree it's a little daft that our mobile phones can't send things across realms, but I'm sure said team knows this and is likely working on it, as you said, it would be unfortunate in an emergency situation. Plus I know Urahara can be a little eccentric, but do you really think he'd read the letters? I'm sure it's fine.

It is a good thing I've not been needed, the last thing Karakura needs is more trouble and destruction. Have they managed to rebuild that major bridge you were talking about yet? Everything is alright here, or at least in my division anyway. I've been kept busy recently, a set of students graduated from the academy last month so I've had 18 new recruits to introduce to squad 10. As for the careers stuff, I honestly assumed from the work you did here and there for the clinic that you were interested in healthcare as well, I take it that's not actually the case then? Do you at least have rough ideas of the sort of thing you'd want to go into? I'm not sure I'll be much help in that respect, I can't wrap my head around half of the jobs that seem to exist in the human world. In some ways I had it easier, the choice was out of my hands. My reiatsu was getting stronger and Hyorinmaru came to me before I even knew what was happening, I needed to go to the academy to make sure my reiatsu didn't become dangerous, therefore I became a shinigami. I never had to wonder what to do with myself in terms of employment.

I'm glad to hear things are going well with you, I'm certainly glad to hear you don't have to worry as much about the bracelet breaking. Is your reiatsu still increasing? If it's stabilising that might be part of why this new bracelet is managing better. I know you're not particularly interested in getting involved with shinigami stuff, which frankly I agree with, but if your reiatsu is still increasing I do think it's worth training you to hide it properly. I am unfortunately always at least a little buried in paperwork, particularly recently with the new recruits, but it's manageable. I don't think I'll be in the human world soon, but I will let you know if I plan to.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

P.S. - I got your letter on the 2nd of July, I should be handing this letter over to be sent on the 4th, schedule permitting.

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Well I hope you make sure that the research team are working on it, because this really is ridiculous. And you're kidding right? I trust Urahara about as far as I can throw him, which is probably all of three feet.

The bridge is still being rebuilt, but I think they're in the last stages now thank god. All the diversions needed really messed with the traffic, maybe I can finally stop leaving the house half an hour earlier just to get to my soccer club. It's supposed to be twenty minutes max by bus and it's been taking easily twice that. Let me know if you find out which shinigami it was that released their zanpakuto on that bridge, I have some choice words for them.

An entire class of students graduated and you only got 18 newbies at the tenth? Was it a small class or is that the normal kind of numbers you see? I assumed there's like, thousands and thousands of shinigami, is there less than I thought? Is that why I only ever see you and Rukia besides the dude who's currently stationed here? And I don't know about going into healthcare, that's my whole problem! I don't know what I want. Healthcare is fine but I don't feel like it's my life purpose to go into it either so yeah, I don't know. Healthcare would be alright, sports would be cool maybe? But I don't think there's a whole lot of sports careers outside of professional (which is definitely not happening) or teaching, and I'm not convinced I'm the teacher type. I just don't seem to have this strong urge to go in a particular direction like Yuzu does. But wow, I didn't know that, you basically HAD to train to be a shinigami? I didn't know that was a thing that could happen, that your reiatsu can go that far on its own. That kind of sucks though doesn't it? That you had no choice? I hope you enjoy being a shinigami at least.

To be honest I think my reiatsu probably is still going up. I don't think it's as quick as it was before, it's settled a little bit, probably because there hasn't been much danger around recently, but I do think it's still inching up. Is that a huge issue? Obviously it became a huge issue with you so now I'm kinda nervous. I'm not gonna get kidnapped into the shinigami am I? I can train to hide my reiatsu without actually becoming a shinigami right? Frankly I trust you more on this than Urahara. And you better let me know in advance if you can, Yuzu says she wants to make you those dumplings you liked again.

Best Wishes,

Karin

P.S. - I got excited at first thinking that sending these took less than two weeks, that didn't seem that bad considering we're sending them via Urahara whenever someone comes through realms, but then your letter took almost a month to come, it arrived on the 27th :( I'm handing this letter over on the 28th.

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

The Research & Development Team is not under my command, they belong to the twelfth, I cannot make sure that they're working on it, but I shall ask at the next opportunity I get. I think you're selling yourself short, I'm sure you could get at least five feet, but I do see your point, I can't say I fully trust him either, not on an individual basis anyway. I trust him to want the best for everybody, and to work towards that, but I don't think he pays attention to what that means for the individuals in the situation. More of a 'the end justifies the means' sort of person from what I've heard. And I'm afraid I have no idea who it was who damaged the bridge, but given they were fighting a powerful hollow at the time I imagine it was the correct course of action. Better on the bridge than in the middle of town.

I get the impression there is less shinigami than you think. Most squads have just over two hundred or so members, so 18 new recruits is actually a pretty good year. As for why you only really see me or Vice-Captain Kuchiki, it's a combination of needing a strong enough shinigami to deal with the sort of problems that crop up in Karakura, while also needing said shinigami to have a vague clue on how to navigate the human world. Vice-Captain Kuchiki presumably has rather extensive knowledge having lived in the human world for months, and I've been known to visit for years so they know I'm alright with being there as well. I think it's alright to not have an idea of a 'life's purpose' when you're in your second year of high school. Maybe just pick something for now as a sort of in-between while you continue working out what it is you want? Sometimes a job is just a job after all. You could always try a career in sports and see how it goes if it interests you now, and switch later on? I'm sure you'll figure something out. I'll admit I was definitely reluctant to train as a shinigami at first, it was never something I wanted originally, so it was hard to deal with to begin with I suppose, but I don't mind it these days. It's stressful, but at least I'm doing something where I'm trying to keep people safe, that suits me well enough.

Unfortunately yes, in my case my reiatsu continuously going up was an issue, but I don't think it's as serious with you. Firstly, you've not got a zanpakuto knocking on your subconscious as far as I know (the telltale giveaway is weird dreams where someone/something is trying to talk to you and tell you it's name, in case you were worried about that), and the people around you aren't vulnerable. You're unlikely to cause issues with your reiatsu because everyone around you has some degree of spiritual power already. As for the other questions, I certainly hope you won't be kidnapped into the shinigami, and I don't think your brother or even Urahara would let that happen, but it's possible you'll get Soul Society's attention if it keeps going unchecked. Of course with Urahara keeping on eye on it and keeping the reiatsu blocking bracelet on you, I'd argue that it's largely taken care of and shouldn't get other shinigami on you. There isn't much shinigami training you can do without becoming a shinigami, but you can learn to withdraw and hide your reiatsu even as a human so don't worry about that. I would say to ask your brother but he's never been very good at controlling his, Urahara is your other option, or possibly Vice-Captain Kuchiki if she's around. Or if those don't work out and your reiatsu gets to a point where you're truly worried about it let me know, I'll train you in it myself if it comes to it. Also, I appreciate the thought but your sister doesn't need to go to trouble like that for me.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

P.S. - I got your letter on the 17th of August. I think it's safe to say they take anywhere from over a week to just under a month to arrive each time.

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Let me know what the research team says! If they say they're not working on it please heavily suggest that they do, and if they say they are working on it, please ask how long they think it'll take them. Just think how much easier communicating would be if we could just call each other. The end justifies the means is EXACTLY Urahara's vibe, which is exactly why I don't really trust him. So yeah, it wouldn't even remotely surprise me if he's been reading these the entire time, better to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised than the other way around. I suppose you have a point about the bridge being a better location than in the middle of a bunch of people, I'll put up with inconvenient travel times over unnecessary death.

Only a little over two hundred per squad? There is less than I thought! That's way less than your average university over here, that's crazy! 18 newbies is good in that case, your squad must be pretty popular. And no wonder I only really ever see you or Rukia, you guys clearly need to work on getting more people up to the speed with the human world or you're gonna end up over-worked! I guess I could just go for sports now and switch later? I don't know, you kinda get it into your head that you've gotta figure out what you want and stick to it, but I guess there's nothing actually stopping me from changing paths later. Once school goes back in I'm gonna get a meeting and talk to the careers lady, see what she says. I'm glad you're alright with being a shinigami now, hopefully it isn't stressful too much of the time.

Well, I'll take your word for it, you know more than me on this but I'm still kinda wary. You're right that there's no zanpakto trying to get my attention so far at least so that's something. If I do get kidnapped by the shinigami I'm trusting you to break me back out, but yeah that is kind of the whole point of the bracelet, that it blocks off my reiatsu from others so hollows can't find me so easily (and shinigami apparently, yeesh) so hopefully this won't actually be an issue. I don't really want to ask Urahara to train me but I will if I have to I guess. Asking Rukia's a good idea though! I'll ask whenever she next pops up, she seems like she'd be good at that sort of thing, maybe that'll solve this whole situation. Or you know, you, if you happen to come sooner, whoever comes to the human world next I guess! I'd feel better knowing that I myself could do the thing the bracelet's doing. Although I do have a question, how do you do it in your sleep? Or is it not possible and you're just vulnerable a third of the time? That seems unfortunate. Also you're kidding right? Cooking is the primary way my sister shows her care and affection, if she wants to cook for you there's no stopping her so you can at least give us notice so we can get ingredients and stuff.

Best Wishes,

Karin

- - - - -

Dear Karin,

I will let you know what the research team says as soon as it actually comes up. I can see your point, I suppose it is better to plan for the worst and be pleasantly surprised otherwise. Good to see you have your priorities in order, is the bridge finally finished though?

I remember being surprised by the size of your high school, I assume universities are even bigger? Must be an administrative nightmare to keep track of all those students, I feel like I can have a hard enough time with the 226 members I have. Squad 10 was surprisingly popular this year, the only other squads who had numbers like that were the sixth and the eleventh, both of which always have high numbers. We did have 'human world' classes at the academy at one point, but they ended up being scrapped a decade or so ago, any information learned was rendered almost completely obsolete within a few years, meaning the stuff the students learned was more or less useless by the time they were actually getting stationed in the human world. These days we just give a brief information pack about the human world before they leave, currently being updated semi-regularly by Vice-Captain Kuchiki. Meeting with a staff member whose job it is to deal with career pathways certainly sounds like a good idea, I hope it goes well if it hasn't already taken place.

Once again, I certainly hope Soul Society would try such a thing, it would be incredibly stupid considering I don't think your brother, who damn near took on the whole of Soul Society and pretty much came out on top, would ever let you get kidnapped in the first place. And I'm fairly sure me, a captain, breaking out someone Soul Society captured is probably considered treason of some kind, but I can promise I'll be in your corner one way or another. Not to mention, I don't think most shinigami would be prepared for you anyway, most are too used to sword combat, I don't think the average shinigami would handle your hand to hand very well. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. As for hiding your reiatsu in your sleep, generally speaking you just practice it enough that it becomes second nature, most shinigami do it subconsciously after a while, including in sleep, although nightmares and the like can interfere a little bit. Your sister has met me what, three times? She feels strongly enough to cook for me? It really is unnecessary although I'm sure the thought is kind. I did say I'd give you notice if I came to the human world though, our sensors are showing an increase in hollow activity in Karakura recently. We're currently just monitoring, we're holding off for now as it might be temporary, but if it gets worse I'm coming to monitor the situation properly and to make sure no incidents happen with the hollow increase. Judging from the current rate, if it keeps going as is I'll probably be there in two weeks or so. With any luck this letter will arrive before I do but if not, I'll make sure to meet up with you somewhere.

Best Wishes,

Toshiro

- - - - -

Dear Toshiro,

Your letter got here super quick, less than a week after I sent mine! Looks like there's increased shinigami activity to match the hollow activity, which boy, you're not kidding that its increased. My reiatsu's jumped up again and I couldn't tell you if it was a response to all the hollows around, or that the hollows arrived because of me. I really hope it's the former. Hopefully you'll be here soon! I think I could do with the training sooner rather than later and if I'm being honest I'd feel safer. But anyway, in response to your letter:

The bridge is actually finished! Just in time for the increased hollows to fuck it up again I'm sure! Most universities are like 10,000 to 30,000 easy, and I think some are bigger than that? So yeah, only two hundred or so shinigami per squad is insane to me. I'm pretty sure the universities have whole administrative teams just for the purpose, does your squad have an admin person at all or is it just you? When I first found out about the shinigami I didn't think I'd sit here wondering about the bureaucracy of it all but here I am. Oh wow I would've loved to sit in one of those human world classes, would've been hilarious I bet. At least you give newly stationed people something, I imagine the culture shock must be a bit much, I'm sure Rukia's information is very accurate given how much time she's spent here. And the careers meeting is actually in two days, I kinda nervous about it to be honest, but hopefully it'll be helpful.

Well I suppose when you put it that way Soul Society kidnapping me would very much be poking the bear huh? I'm extremely saddened to hear that you wouldn't commit treason for me though, what kind of friendship is this??? But I suppose I'll take comfort in you being 'in my corner one way or another', whatever that means. Does it mean in the event of soul society kidnapping me and forcing me to be a shinigami you'd immediately put me in your squad? That's the vibe I'm getting. But that's good to know about the hand to hand combat and the reiatsu withdrawing while still asleep, I'll bear those both in mind. As for your potential visit, given hollows seem to be popping up left right and centre I'm assuming you're probably coming in a week or so, I'll look out for your arrival! I get the impression this letter isn't going to get to you before you arrive in the human world but just in case it does I'll let you know, Yuzu added the dumpling ingredients onto her shopping list. That means you've gotta be at our house for at least one dinner! Consider it repayment for the training I'm gonna demand from you.

Hope you get here safe,

Karin

#hitsukarin #hitsukarinweek #hitsukarinweek2021 #toshiro hitsugaya #karin kurosaki #bleach #my writing #once again strongly recommend reading this on the blog itself or ao3 #the dash formatting is not great and this is a little under 4k

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that-sw-writer · 4 years ago

Text

Cloak and Dagger II

PART ONE

EPILOGUE

Notes: I think I’m gonna do a lil epilogue to this, I don’t wanna call it a part III because it won’t really be, it will just be a flash forward in time to sorta round up the story!

Word count: 3814

Warnings: mentions of torture, blood and violence... but also fluff still

Summary: With your undercover mission now a train wreck, your only option is to fight your way out of the First Order. But the big question is: can you rely on Kylo to help you or not?

"I'm sorry too."

Those had been your final words before you made your move. You inched your left hand forwards from where it was raised above your head and summoned your Lightsaber hilt. It came flying out from where it had been strapped to your right thigh, passing easily through the slit in your dress.

You activated it, the blue blade roaring to life. Immediately every trooper surrounding you took a cautious step back, and even Kylo looked shocked - nobody had anticipated you to be armed. You drew the blade back to hold it with both hands in a defensive stance across your face, the Saber casting a blue glow over your skin.

"Don't." Kylo quietly warned you, Pryde shooting him a glance, awaiting orders.

You narrowed your eyes at him, and that said enough. You weren't going to surrender, and that left Kylo between a rock and a hard place. He didn't want to order fire on you, but he had no choice. The entire First Order was watching him now, the pressure was all on his shoulders as Supreme Leader.

"Fire." He said, his voice catching in his throat slightly. Ten stormtroopers, he knew they wouldn't pose an issue for you. But that was what he was afraid of, the moment that he had to step in and do something himself.

Before the troopers could react, you pushed a number of them away with the Force, and whilst the others began to fire their blasters you had a chance to block and deflect the bolts. Some of the deflected bolts flew back and hit unwitting troopers, and this technique had the crowd thinning quickly.

Meanwhile all of the guests watched on in earnest. Only guests of the First Order would avidly watch conflict rather than run from it.

The dress had plenty of manoeuvrability, however you couldn't say the same for the heels that your feet were trapped in. But you just had to make do.

As the stormtroopers you had pushed away recovered and began to fire on you, you threw yourself down and slid across the floor to close the gap between you and them. Before climbing back to your feet you sliced at one trooper's ankles, sending him tumbling to the ground.

The remaining three were easy pickings, you threw your Saber at one and it struck him to the ground. Whilst your weapon was out of your grasp, you outstretched your left hand and pulled a trooper into your hand. Meanwhile, your Saber flew back into your right hand just in time for you to slice down the man in your grip.

"Enough." Kylo interjected, catching your attention just before you cut down the last trooper, who breathed a sigh of relief to have his life spared.

You turned back to the Supreme Leader, to the man you loved, twirling your Saber in your hand. The blue hue contrasted with your red dress, but nobody in that room could deny that you looke powerful.

Bile rose in Kylo's throat as he pulled out his own Saber. He was silently pleading with you to surrender, to not make him have to do this.

The trooper near you was quickly backing off, allowing the Supreme Leader to take control. Pryde stood and watched and the guests... they looked like they were on the verge of placing bets. They were perhaps enjoying it a bit too much.

"You know I'm not going to kill you." You said as you began to circle each other.

"I know." He replied, his eyes were so conflicted.

Whether he would kill you or not was a different story. But deep down you believed that he loved you enough to spare you.

Aware of judgemental gazes, Kylo eventually swung his Saber at you. It was a sloppy movement, and you deflected it with ease. He was toying with you, trying to bide his time whilst he came up with a plan.

The only good option for you in this scenario was escape, but that was much easier said than done. Poe was on standby waiting for your call, all you had to do was somehow knock Kylo out - nobody else would stand a chance against you.

Your blades clashed, the red and blue hues sending purple sparks flying through the air. However, you kicked his shin to get free, your heeled shoe making the impact even more painful. At least they were good for something.

As Kylo grunted and stumbled backwards to recover, you didn't give him time as you swung at him again, slow enough that you knew he would have time to counter it. Your brain was abuzz, trying to work out the best way to floor Kylo without actually hurting him. Meanwhile his own thoughts were mirroring yours, but he had the additional pressure of not being able to let you win as it would severely hurt his reputation as Supreme Leader. Hell, he barely had a reputation yet, which would make losing to a Jedi an even worse start to his reign.

The two of you were locked in a stalemate combat for some time. You knew every one of his moves, just as he knew yours. You had been training together for nearly your whole lives, there was no tactic one of you knew that the other didn't.

What you didn't see out of the corner of your eye however, was Pryde snatching the blaster from the stormtrooper whom you had previously spared. Kylo spotted what was going on before you, and his eyes widened, looking at you and opening his mouth to warn you. But it was too late, Pryde fired the blaster just as you were turning around and the bolt struck you in the thigh.

Had he been aiming to kill you? If he had, then he was a terrible shot.

You buckled to the ground, your Lightsaber deactivating as you dropped it. The General then approached, jabbing the blaster into the side of your head. Kylo remained silent, his mouth dry. Now was the time to think on his feet.

"Permission to execute this traitor, Supreme Leader." Pryde spat, practically revelling in the opportunity to shoot you.

Whispers were rising amongst the crowd, they had all seen their new Supreme Leader fight and they were impressed. Ironically you had infiltrated this event to take Kylo away with you, not to boost his image.

"No." He cooly replied, causing Pryde's head to snap and face him.

"No?" He questioned, in disbelief. His eyes spoke a thousand words: 'Supreme Leader, the whole of our faculty is watching, we need to kill her.'

"She has information about the Resistance that we need. Get her to an interrogation room, and have a med-droid see to that wound before she bleeds out." He ordered, his voice not wavering for a second.

You breathed a small sigh of relief as the blaster was lowered, sending Kylo a silent 'thank you' through the Force.

There were nods and mutters of approval from the crowd of various diplomats. At least they got a show out of it if anything. You just wished Pryde hadn't caught you, you were so close to convincing Kylo to leave with you, you were sure of it.

The trooper you had spared hauled you to your feet, and you winced as soon as pressure was put on your leg, blood slowly spilling over your skin. He had a tight grip on your arm, preventing you from buckling to the ground. As you were dragged out of the function room, Kylo bent down to pick up your Saber hilt, clipping it to his belt alongside his own.

Your last lifeline now was Poe. He had strict orders that if you hadn't contacted him by the time the other guests were leaving the ball, he was to report it straight to Leia and a rescue mission was to be put into motion.

Black spots were beginning to appear in the corners of your eyes. With only one trooper escorting you, you had hoped that this would be your chance to escape, but the wound in your thigh was going to prevent you from making it very far.

You knew your way around the Finalizer better than any of these troopers, so you knew exactly where you were when you approached the interrogation chambers. A second trooper joined you and grabbed your free arm. Between the pair of them they hauled you into the room and strapped you into the interrogation chair.

You had seen many enemies of the First Order in these chairs, watched them be tortured and have information forcefully extracted from their minds. On occasion you had even been the one extracting it. Oh how the tables had now turned...

Your thigh was burning with pain, and the only moment you felt relief was when a med-droid came whirring into the room. It silently began cleaning the wound and subsequently applied a bacta-patch which immediately soothed you.

With the blood flow now stopped, you began to regain your focus. The troopers who had secured you in the chair were now stood guard at the door, you knew that they were no longer permitted to guard alone ever since Rey had used the Force to manipulate a single trooper into aiding her escape.

Pulling at the restraints was useless, and the only person you could reach out to with the Force was Kylo. Something told you that wasn't the best idea right now. He was feeling conflicted, you could feel it. You just hoped he would make the right decision.

Some time passed, and General Pryde entered through the blast doors. It could have been an hour, or just a few minutes. These rooms were specifically designed to disorientate interrogation subjects, and they were certainly effective.

You could see that he was accompanied by what you recognised as an IT-O Interrogator, which was practically just a droid programmed to torture.

At the sight of the droid you struggled slightly just on instinct, and a sick smirk appeared on Pryde's lips. He was clearly anticipating your demise.

"Tell me where the Resistance base is, and I'll make your death quick." He hissed, getting uncomfortably close to your face.

You grimaced, pulling you head away from his as much as you physically could.

"I'm not telling you anything, Pryde." You defied him, and he should have known that no matter what pain he inflicted on you, you wouldn't talk.

The trouble was he probably did know that torturing you was hopeless, but he would still do it because he enjoyed watching you suffer. In his eyes you were a betrayer of the First Order.

"Very well, have it your way." He sneered, motioning for the droid to approach you.

You struggled, despite being strapped down with no manoeuvrability. Even the damn droid looked like it was taunting you, continuously sparking its electrified tazer attachments together as it approached.

Holding your breath, you braced yourself for the pain that was to come. Now the wound in your thigh was the least of your worries.

Elsewhere, Kylo was pacing back and forth on the bridge, having excused himself from the rest of the ball, he was lost in his own thoughts. He didn't know what to do.

He had no interest in becoming Ben Solo again, he still considered his old identity to be dead, and weak. But you, you had changed everything. You had made him want to leave the First Order. He had wanted to leave just to be with you.

When you had left, it had broken his heart. He understood why you had gone, but he had also vowed to himself that he would do whatever it takes to get you back. Perhaps the key to getting you back was leaving with you.

He didn't have much time to consider things. A wave of pain rippled through the Force, and he knew it came from you.

Kylo stormed off the bridge, violently shoving an officer out of his way as he left. He was still dressed in his formal robes and his guests were still in the function room, dancing and drinking the night away as if they hadn't just witnessed a Jedi cut down multiple stormtroopers. His only priority now was you.

Your body had gone limp from the amount the droid had brutally electrocuted you. Your head hung downwards, but Pryde clearly was just getting started.

"This is your last chance to talk." He snapped, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling your head backwards to force you to look at him.

"Fuck you." You decided to use your last opportunity to speak wisely. To add insult to injury, you spat in his face which caused him to immediately let you go and recoil.

"You traitorous filth!" He yelled this time, "Kill her!" He ordered the droid, which approached painstakingly slowly.

Your eyes shut, and you prepared yourself for the inevitable. But when you heard the unmistakeable sound of blast doors, your eyes snapped back open.

"Kylo-" You quietly breathed out, relieved to see him storming in.

"I told you to interrogate her, not kill her." He spoke in a low growl at Pryde.

"She won't talk Supreme Leader, it's no use." Pryde protested.

"Get out. Let me see to this." This was always the process with prisoners who withstood the IT-O droid, he would take control and use the Force to invade their mind.

"With all due respect Supreme Leader, I would very much like to see this interrogation through." Pryde was taking great joy in watching your suffering. He was very proud, and was well-known to penalise any deserters of the First Order.

Kylo's hands balled into fists, and you looked at him, curious. He was angry about Pryde staying, mostly because he couldn't find an excuse to make him leave that wouldn't look suspicious. A few people had been aware of your relationship when you had been a member of the Order, and the General was one of them... he didn't trust leaving the two of you alone.

"Very well." He grumbled, looking at you as he outstretched his arm. His eyes softened for a moment, he was silently apologising to you for what was to come, but you always recognised his touch in your mind, and you knew he could never hurt you.

You didn't fight it when he invaded your thoughts, in fact the opposite, you welcomed him. He could easily read the minds of most people, but you were an equal match for him and that meant you had enough control to choose which thoughts you pushed to the forefront of your mind.

Kylo wasn't going to get the location of the Resistance base, but he was going to get a trip down memory lane.

"I wish we could stay here forever." You gave a content sigh as you looked up at the sky, which was brushed with an orange hue as the sun set.

"Me too." Ben agreed, his hand rubbing small circles on your back.

Training had ended just a few hours ago, and Master Skywalker had sent everyone back to their huts for the night. But when you and his nephew weren't sneaking to each other's huts to spend the night, you were out somewhere on the vast grounds of the temple - just spending quality time together.

You lay on the grass, your head on his chest. Despite Skywalker knowing that the pair of you were bonded in the Force, he still forbade attachments as that was the traditional Jedi way. Not to mention that he worried about his nephew and the possible corruption of the dark side.

"I love you." Ben suddenly broke the silence, and you immediately shifted to rest on your elbow and look up at him. "Please, promise me you won't leave me, no matter what."

"I love you too." The words tumbled from your lips before you even had to consider them, "I'll never leave you." You then quietly confirmed, utterly naive of the days to come. But in that moment your heart was full, and when Ben had kissed you, you thought that nothing could ever separate you.

Kylo couldn't bring himself to pull away from your mind and find what he was supposed to be searching for. To relive those moments when you had both been so naive and vulnerable, they were the moments he had tried his hardest to forget. But Ben Solo's emotions now felt as raw as they had the day he had first confessed his love for you.

Suddenly the control was pulled away from you. The nature of your Force-bond meant that a door opened could be entered from both sides. Whilst Kylo invaded your mind, you unwittingly were pulled into his.

"I can't do this anymore, Kylo." You confessed as tears filled your eyes, "it's tearing me apart."

"Where will you go?" His voice was hoarse , and he didn't know what else to say. He desperately wanted to beg you not to leave him, but he knew that your mind was already made up.

"I don't know." You chuckled dryly, sniffing as tears began to roll down your cheeks, "It's time for me to explore the galaxy a bit more."

Kylo's mouth was dry, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. "Please don't leave me." He finally choked out, his own eyes welling up.

You couldn't meet his eyes now, you were afraid that if you did you would never leave. "I'm sorry." You turned to leave your shared quarters, a bag slung over your shoulder.

"You promised you'd never leave me..." You could hear him mutter, which only broke your heart even more. The words you had spoken to Ben Solo all those years ago had never stung so much.

For General Pryde, only a few moments had passed, but for you and Kylo it had felt like an eternity.

You were both shaken back into reality, and Kylo quickly withdrew his hand, stumbling back a few steps so he stood behind Pryde, who was studying your face carefully.

You felt tears rolling down your cheeks, you hadn't noticed yourself crying but it was a reflection of the memory you had seen in Kylo's head. Leaving him was the hardest thing you had ever had to do.

"Did you get what we need, Supreme Leader?" Pryde then turned to Kylo, whose lips were pressed in a firm line. He solemnly nodded in response. "Then might I suggest that we finish this traitor now? One less Jedi running around would certainly help our cause." This had nothing to do with the Resistance, or Jedi, it was just Pryde's personal agenda.

You weren't just a traitor, but a weakness to their Supreme Leader. Realistically you could pose a greater threat to the First Order than the entire Resistance.

Kylo drew his Lightsaber the second Pryde shut his mouth, and you were in disbelief. After everything he had just seen how could he turn on you so easily? Did the memories remind him of the pain that came with emotions? Perhaps this was how he intended to cut them off entirely.

"Kylo, don't-" You pleaded with him, casting your eyes to the red blade. But as you looked at him you saw your own Saber hanging from his belt. It was a slim chance, but you had to at least try...

Opening the palm of your dominant hand you reached out with the Force, and you could see your hilt beginning to shift slightly. You focused, and just as Kylo was raising his blade to swing it the Saber flew into your hand and roared to life. The best you could do was flip the blade to protect your face.

But Kylo's Saber didn't hit your face, it instead sliced the shackle holding your wrist.

"What are you doing?" Pryde boomed, moving to shove his own Supreme Leader aside in a fit of rage and panic. "She is scum!"

Kylo was planning on cutting Pryde to pieces for addressing either of you in that way, but the second he freed the hand you were holding your Saber in, you lunged forward and plunged it into Pryde's chest.

"That's Jedi scum to you." You hissed, dropping his body. Although perhaps that hadn't been a very Jedi move on your part...

Your limbs were screaming at you as soon as you put pressure on them, particularly the leg that had been shot earlier.

But none of that mattered, you buried the pain for the moment. You stood up tall and looked at Kylo, unable to find the words. So he found them instead.

"Let's go."

"And by go... you mean?" You hesitantly asked as you strapped your Saber hilt back to your thigh, your heart leaping at the notion that Kylo had just chosen to free you, and you didn't doubt for a second that he would have killed Pryde for you.

"I'll stay here, I'll leave, I'll go anywhere, as long as it's with you." He quietly admitted.

You never thought you'd hear the words leave his mouth, and your breath caught in your throat when they did.

But that was it, minutes later you were in the hanger aboard his ship. With his own Inaugural Ball in full swing still, there was nobody around to stop or question you.

There was no planning, you had no belongings, you were still wearing your kriffing gown and heels. But you had each other, and that was all you were going to need. It was all you had ever needed.

Lightyears away, at the Resistance Base on Ajan Kloss, Poe had returned after not hearing from you and he rushed straight to Leia to inform her.

"General Organa! I think something went wrong at the ball, Y/N hasn't been in contact." He spluttered to get the words out of his mouth, and Leia placed a hand on his shoulder.

She focused for a moment and reached out into the Force. For the first time, the first time in as long as she could remember, she felt her son's presence truly at peace. That told her all she needed to know.

"She's going to be fine, Poe. They both are..." She spoke that last bit under her breath, a smile settling on her lips.

As you and Kylo flew away from the Finalizer, there was so much unspoken between you. But you would have plenty of time to talk about it. You knew it was the right thing, the Force had drawn you together all of those years ago and now you were finally dropping everything just to be together.

"I did promise I'd never leave you." You spoke, catching Kylo's attention as he got you out of First Order airspace, "and I didn't." You then added, a small smile on your lips.

You had risked everything to go back for him, and against all the odds it had actually paid off.

"You didn't." He agreed, jumping the ship to hyperspace.

Now the galaxy was yours to explore. Not as Jedi, or Sith but just as people.

You didn't care if he was Ben, or Kylo - you just wanted him to be with you, and he had been more than happy to drop it all for that offer.

Tag: @country-cowgirl-101

#kylo ren x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo ren x you #kylo ren x y/n #ben solo x reader #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you

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briandthemoon · 5 years ago

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~ Uploading this WIP here too! ~ {You can see both on my deviantArt too [same username], but with some of the original ideas and thoughts.} So uh, I did what I do best and shoved two things I love and have been hyperfocusing on for the last month together: Sanders Sides and RWBY.

I’ve been binging @thatsthat24 ‘s Sanders Sides videos and fan comics for the last month or so and by god, it’s really lifted my mood. I’m gonna work to get them all lined and coloured soon, but since I’ll be travelling in the next week, I’ll likely have paper sketches and such to upload if I’m lucky.

As for this AU, say hello to Team RNBO [Rainbow]! This is what I have so far in terms of character information; [putting it under a readmore, please do have a look!]

Roman De La Rosa:

- Semblance: "Picture This" - the ability to conjure an item proportional to the positive emotions he alone is feeling. So the happier and more creative he feels, the better.

- Weapons: “Armas Y Rosas“, a gauntlet-gun [armas] and a rosen rapier sword [rosas]. It’s literally just a Guns N Roses joke.

Virgil Nightshade:

- Black Cat Faunus. I didn’t realise til too late how similar to Blake he is but honestly, idc, I love him.

- Semblance: "Panic Room" - the ability to conjure a small isolated, soundproof space to trap someone in. Including himself in times of distress.

- Weapons: “Atropa” and “Solanum”, two knives with dust vials that attach to the end to infuse the metal. He usually uses Gravity Dust because 1) aesthetic and 2) if you have gravity defying Dust? Thats a cool escape my guy.

Logan Blu-Berrie:

- Semblance: “Blu-Screen of Death” - the ability to perform computer-esque functions via summons, i.e. attacking someone with a text box he just conjured, or browsing data and memories on a summoned screen for accuracy.

- Weapon: “Crofter”, a staff-spear that uses projection similar to Velvet’s weapon to form blades when needed. I.E. turning the staff into an axe or hammer or even forming a fishing line. [Looking at this whole thing, Logan wound up giving me big Scottish vibes in this AU and I’m SO for it.]

Patton Opal:

- Labrador Faunus, best boy 1000/10, didn’t have to re-work his design at all, what a madlad

- Semblance: "New Trick" - the ability to mark a person and be able to find them via a boosted scent marker. So far Roman smells like strawberries and creme, Virgil smells like smokey wood, and Logan smells like jam. And yes, Patton has tried tracking himself. He smells of vanilla cookies.

Weapon: “Storge”, a shield - axe combo. Mostly used in the shield position unless he’s forced to be active in a fight. Tried to give this weapon BIG Rose Quartz Shield Vibes.

Remus Pepinillo:

- for those wondering, he threw out the De La Rosa name when he left the family to go eat deoderants without judgement. And to go cause havoc.

- Semblance: “Can’t Be Unseen” - Similar to Roman’s semblance, Remus can conjure items but instead based upon other people’s negative emotions directed at him. So things like disgust and fear directed at him make him stronger.

- Weapon: “Asqueroso”, a mace that can be wielded in pole form or as a chain flail. The name literally is just the spanish for “Disgusting”.

“Deceit“:

- Python faunus. Pretty obvious there. As for a name, I’ll work with whatever becomes canon, tbh. His hat snake isn’t real, it’s just a design, but he has named his hat “Monty”.

- Semblance: “Trust in Me” - Deceit can mimic someone else’s voice to the point of being hypnotic in some cases.

- Weapon: “Kaa”, a microphone that can amplify sounds to use as ammo, or can be combined with dust vials for other effects, such as fire breathing or ice breath. This is absolutely where Virgil got the idea for his knives.

~~ Little Things In Their Designs Collectively~~

- So mostly Roman and Virgil had a revamp and got added or changed details. I’m personally loving the rose decals for Roman, and the fact that Virgil has to keep sewing his hoodie pocket sides back up because he keeps knee-jerk whipping out his knives and catching them on the sides. Also freckles. I cannot stress enough how much I needed to give one of these cute lil guys freckles.

- Logan and Patton really didn’t change much; Patton came out perfect the first time, and Logan just needed some proportion adjustments. Later I went and added friendship bracelets to each design because I do not believe for a second that Patton wouldn’t make them team bracelets. The card suit beads was just an addition that I added because I am the artist and none of you can stop me from adding the tiniest of references to Homestuck Quadrants.

- For Roman and Remus, I wanted them to have similar poses but good god, it was still hard to draw Remus’s hands. They look so good in the end though so I’m good with ‘em. I also might give him a little top hat or something at some point and see how it looks, I dunno.

- As for Deceit, I had a bit of trouble trying to pin down his design at first, but once I rolled with the allusions to Kaa from Jungle Book, it went far easier. I quite like that I added the poisonous needles in the bottom of his boots as a “sting in the tail” kind of thing.

- Talking about inspirations and such, Roman, Virgil, and Patton are pretty much just colour based; Roman being red roses [his name literally being Roman of the Rose] as a symbol of romance of course, with Virgil’s whole motif being Edgey and thus going with nightshade purple as his colour, and finally with Patton, his name took me the longest to work out, but Opal seemed to fit really well, and considering it represents Love and Loyalty? Come on, I had to.

- As for Logan, Deceit, and Remus, they all got more story links worked in somehow without me really realising. Logan was really unexpected, but between the Crofters’ Jam link and the blue colours, he gave me sort of Little Boy Blue vibes, and also via the name Logan being Scottish in origin and yknow, everythign else I mentioned? Yeah. I will definitely be adding celtic flair to his design when its coloured. Deceit is more obvious; Kaa was a good choice in influence that I noticed halfway through and just buckled down on. For Remus, he bounced around a bit between Maleficent and Dr Facilier, but in the end, I figured the Shadow Man was a better fit. Also his surname is literally just the Spanish for “Pickle” or “Gherkin”.

- Final info, if people are wondering, they’d all be centred on Huntsman training at Beacon, but in terms of where they’re from;

Roman and Remus would be from Atlas, obviously. That place spits out rich kids with issues like it’s quickfire Uno.

Virgil would be from Mantle; it’s pretty obviously one of the more run down and hard to live in areas, plus that’d set up the in this universe initial animosity between Roman and Virgil.

Logan is from Vale, so he’s a Beacon native. I considered him being from Atlas because of their tech. However, Vale won me over with Logan’s european influences and such.

Patton would be from Vacuo. I know its a weird choice, but hey, it’s full of faunus and it just fit a bit better than Menagerie or Mistral.

Speaking of, Deceit is 100% Menagerie born, but Mistral bred. He often tells people different conflicting origin stories, and won’t even tell his name to ex-buddy Virgil or ‘best buddy’ Remus.

I think that’s everything so far!!

I dunno if everyone else is as hype to see what comes of all this as I am, but either way I’m going to have fun doing it. <3

_______ PLEASE DO NOT: - repost my art at all - you are not permitted to line or colour this art - you are not permitted to use this art as an icon or profile pic - do not steal these designs, I put a lot of work into them ;; _______ Sanders Sides (c) @thatsthat24 RWBY (c) Monty Oum & Rooster Teeth The sketches belong to me.

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toushindai · 4 years ago

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sometimes a fic you’re very proud of gets unceremoniously booted out of canon compliance by something that........ really does not earn the right to evict your fic from canon compliance, and your only recourse is to

Decide that in your own headcanon, what you must begrudgingly call the “canon scene” was merely a dream, and

Remind yourself why you wrote what you wrote.

Anyway I still love “The Diamond” because it does a lot of character work that I really wanted to see done, and although no one asked I’m gonna talk a little bit this is fifteen hundred words long so a lot bit actually about that out of a combination of sincere enthusiasm and very poorly hidden spite.

Within twenty-four hours of completing the Meg route and learning that both relationships were fully above-board, I concluded that Zagreus would want a threesome, and shortly thereafter I concluded that if he got one, it would be a disaster. I’m speaking literally, this is not an exaggeration. Within forty-eight hours I had a rough outline of what would become “The Diamond” written up, and the structure of the encounter is basically what it is in the final draft: Zag suggests it, Meg and Than are less enthused but decide to go along with it, Than is persistently awkward about the experience that Zagreus and Megaera seem to have with navigating each other, though he makes a gallant effort anyway which is interrupted by a reminder that Meg is still there, watching all of this, and the encounter falls apart.

As I began to flesh the idea out, I really became interested in exploring just... a number of different complications, a number of different tensions that to tell the truth I had expected to be present in the relationships based on the antagonism displayed by both Meg and Than early on. It’s clear that, canonically, they sorted out their differences somewhere out of Zag’s sight. And I have no objection to this, really. But “The Diamond” became about forcing the two of them to face their permissiveness towards the other relationship in close quarters, and to experience tension and discomfort that they may have shrugged off originally. They are each different things to Zagreus—this is a canon line, I just wanna emphasize that that’s a canon line, not something I came up with in a dream once—and in “Diamond,” I wanted to bump those two things up against each other and have them clash in ways that were awkward for everyone involved. Not wrong, not even unnavigable in the end, but awkward in a way that should be faced rather than looked away from. Thanatos, not just an uncomfortable outsider to the D/s dynamics that are so natural and inherent to Megaera’s relationship with Zagreus, but also watching the two of them follow familiar steps and feeling inadequate compared to how well they know each other. Megaera deciding that she is best suited to lead the encounter but in the process of giving Than space to play along shunting herself off into a corner, from where she feels awkwardly left out, and in her attempt to reintegrate herself into the scene by trying to take charge as comes naturally to her, shattering the entire encounter. Because the fic was strictly from Thanatos’s POV, I didn’t get to highlight this quite commeasurately to how strongly I felt it, but both Meg and Than saw glimpses of the shape of the other relationship and wondered, is that something Zagreus needs? Is that something he can’t get from me, does that make my relationship with him lesser? I saw a failed threesome as a perfect encounter to force them to have these thoughts.

(The answer to these questions is of course that neither relationship is lesser; they’re just wildly different, and for Zagreus, with his heart so full of love that it constantly overflows, to have both is beneficial to all involved. Maybe more strictly canonical iterations of the characters can understand that more easily, without having to question it. But where’s the fun in that? I want to see them working through it.)

The other big tension I wanted to put these characters through is... eh, it’s a combination of communication and respect issues. Like I’ve said and will keep saying, it’s pretty cute that Meg and Than sorted themselves out, and certainly that’s preferable to either relationship being secret or even just having to clear surprise polyamory with them after the fact, but at the same time... it is a little weird to me that Zagreus was excluded from the conversation. And so “Diamond” became about how Megaera and Thanatos think about Zagreus, and how they need to do better about that. Zagreus thinks, sincerely, that this will be great fun for everyone involved!. Neither Megaera nor Thanatos agrees, but how is Zagreus supposed to know that when they gripe amongst themselves and agree to go along with it? He gives Thanatos really a number of opportunities to back out, but Thanatos just grits his teeth and treats it as here Zag goes, being unreasonable again, and there’s nothing I can do to stop him. Megaera’s attitude is similar. They both fail to show Zagreus the respect of communicating their actual opinions to him. He’s right to be hurt by that, at the end of the main chapter.

And I wanted to show Than and Meg making this mistake, together, because I feel that even canonically, even with both romances complete, both of them take the attitude that they are reasonable and he is unreasonable. Their adherence to the order of the Underworld and the House is something they are doing that is morally good, and his defiance is something that is morally bad, and they’ll both permit it because of his circumstances and because, mortifyingly, they’ve both come to care for him, but even so that is taking the attitude that they are in a position to permit, to allow, and that his actions are the aberrance. And you know what? That’s a shitty attitude to take with anyone, let alone your boyfriend. I wanted them to face this hurting Zag, and moreover making things wildly uncomfortable for them, too—so that they could see the truth of what a negative stance that is, and repent of it. Decide, consciously, to do better.

And then the last thing I wanted to touch on was an idea that, bluntly speaking, Zagreus is better and more practiced at wanting things. Megaera and Thanatos have been living and working for aeons in this environment where what they sincerely want is the last thing they’re able to take into consideration when it comes to what they must do. Zagreus... lives and has worked in this same environment, but because of whatever quirk of personality, he refuses to sublimate himself. Prior to the game, it seems, this mostly took the shape of just not doing what he wasn’t motivated to do; but now, during canon, Zagreus is going after what he wants no matter how many times he fails. No matter how many times his father or the fates themselves tell him no, he is going to keep trying. And I wanted to look at how this is foreign and overwhelming to Meg and Than, how they might even reject it at first because it’s so foreign—but also how they are drawn to it. How it’s something liberating, how they might learn from it and become more fully themselves. More honest, more relaxed, happier. If only they take the step of admitting that they are in the wrong here, and that they’ve been stifling and harming themselves for a long, long time and calling it justified.

(That post about what your favorite Hades ship says about you has my number so thoroughly; why, yes, I am bisexual, and yes, I do live and breathe for repressed characters letting down their guard for exactly one person; and yes, I am a fan of men getting p—wait, that last bit’s not relevant here.)

I’m ready for 1.0, I think. There’s been a lot of post-clear content integrated into the game without the ramifications of a true clear—one that doesn’t involve the storyteller killing you in increasingly aggravated ways, whatever that’s going to look like—actually being incorporated. And I’m hoping a true clear involves a little more tension. Not permanently, not in a way that breaks some of the happy endings that are already in place. But in a way that makes the characters work for them a little more, in transition. Who clings harder to the status quo, which is broken but has been stable? Who fights a little more against the good that Zagreus is doing by pushing back? What prices are paid for breaking things so that they must be rebuilt better? I want to see these tensions. The game starts in an untenable place and asks hard questions, and I hope that the mechanical difficulty of the escape process isn’t considered enough to have earned emotionally easy answers. Because complication is what I’m interested in. Complication, and characters deciding that it’s worth it to put in the effort needed to address that complication. That’s why I wrote “The Diamond” and that’s why I’m proud of it.

#hades game #megzagthan #thanzagmeg #hades game spoilers #this is tremendously self-indulgent but it’s very sincere #tou wrote a thing #the diamond #LISTEN... post #spoilers #mzt

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vaspider · 5 years ago

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Im not for the exclusion of bisexual women from wlw spaces but i do have something to say about the butch femme thing. Im sorry if this sounds exclusionary that’s not my intention. If bisexual women call themselves butch or femme, words now associated with lesbians mainly, then if they get with a dude that guy can go ‘i got with a butch/femme girl’ and people assume lesbian and it could increases negative stereotypes about lesbians ‘just waiting for the right man’ kinda thing unintentionally idk

That’s some really twisted exclusionary, gatekeeping bullshit. Whether or not you think it is, it really is.

When you distill that down to its essence, what you’re saying is “bisexual women are actively detrimental to lesbians just by existing, because what if they get with a guy?? Their existence as non-gold-star wlw could, by its association with gold-star wlw.”

That is, at its core of it, what you are actually, factually saying. That is the core of the issue that you have. “Bi women dilute gayness.” The 1990s called and they want their political lesbian talking points used to argue that the ‘B’ shouldn’t be included in Pride Parades back.

Even if that were not the excessively biphobic core of what you are positing, conforming our behavior to the expectations or biases of The Straights(tm) is not the path forward to queer liberation. Because lemme tell you something:

Straight Dudes(tm) don’t respect lesbians or bi women or bi femmes regardless of how we react, how we present, or whether or not any AFAB has slept with a man, might sleep with a man, is attracted to men, might be attracted to men, has slept with no one, doesn’t want to sleep with anyone. The idea that whether or not bi women use the word ‘butch’ figures into their disrespect is about as far from reality as I am from being able to build a summer home on Pluto.

The Straights are not going to respect us or change their ideas about how we figure into their fears and spank-bank fantasies no matter how we act or react or how we censure and censor and subdivide. Pushing bisexuals out of the lesbian community -- because bisexuals were part of the lesbian community until the 70s -- did not suddenly make The Straights respect lesbians. TERFs cozying up to the far-right Republicans is not going to make The Straights respect lesbians. The Straights will not respect lesbians even a little bit more if ‘butch’ is only associated with lesbians. The Straights are not going to respect my lesbian daughter one iota more if I stop using the word ‘butch’ and start calling myself a ‘stag’ or a ‘crow’ or whatever other culturally-appropriating, diminutizing, dehumanizing terms people come up with and insist I should use.

It is not going to matter, and suggesting that it is going to matter very much comes across as concern-trolling.

This is exactly the same kind of mindset that has transmeds telling me “you can’t be non-binary, you’re keeping The Cis from respecting us!” and I am not here for it. The Cis, The Straights(tm), they are not going to suddenly respect us because we police one another’s usage of terms that they don’t give one single solitary fuck about anyway. They are not going to suddenly say ‘gosh I don’t hear anyone who’s ever admitted to being attracted to a man called “butch” anymore, that’s going to keep me from hitting on this woman because she’s described herself as butch.’

Don’t be fucking ridiculous. The Straights (tm) are not gonna hear that and say ‘oh I was gonna harass that woman but now that I know she’s a Certified Lesbian (tm) I’m gonna leave her alone.’ None of our self-signifiers matter to them at all, and to paraphrase Pray Tell, every generation thinks they’re gonna be the one who are finally gonna get invited to the party. That this is when we go mainstream and are totally accepted by the gracious Straights(tm).

That shit ain’t gonna happen. The Straights are not gonna finally invite us to the party and accept us. They’re gonna tolerate the compliant ones, to a degree, but that’s it. That is not the way to queer liberation.

Queer Liberation is not asking nicely and shaving off all the inconvenient parts of ourselves and our community. Queer liberation is not permitting the next generation to sweep under the rug the history of political lesbians (those who would become TERFs) driving bisexual women out and forcing the creation of a bisexual community. Queer liberation is not allowing this historical revisionism of painting a picture of a rosy past in which bisexual women, femmes and AFABs had a joyous co-existence with a separate set of community pasts, rather than a shared and interwoven community history.

I am absolutely not going to let you lay the disrespect that The Straights(tm) have for lesbians, bisexual women, and wlw at the feet of bisexuals, not in any way, shape or form. And I am not going to give up my identity based on the historical revisionism that says this isn’t my history and these aren’t my words.

Butch is my gender identity. I don’t give a fuck if the Straights respect it, because they never ever will. I’m not interested in them respecting a version of my self that is sanitized for their comfort, because that’s what you’re asking for.

I will fight for liberation, in which I can exist as my authentic self and you can exist as yours, and we are given the space to live as our selves by The Straights(tm). I will not, ever, accept respectability politics as an acceptable way to frame our community.

tl;dr: that’s gross and biphobic as it blames bisexuals for the difficulties of all wlw for the idea that they might date men, don’t ever say it again.

#this bullshit again #butch and femme are not lesbian exclusive terms #butch and femme #community history #victim blaming #queerphobia #biphobia #homophobia #sopheg-the-gay

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