#if this is acceptable to some people then that’s fine

[weemietime]

https://www.tumblr.com/weemietime/767670429687152640?source=share

I suppose it was easy for me to fall into the Hamasnik trap due to my habit of black and white thinking, which I wish I could blame on my autism, my ocd, or my horrible mental state, but I’m just incredibly stupid lol. But yeah, I was very much a hamasnik myself.

For some reason my mind refused to accept or recognise the nuance of a history that I wasn't even well versed on in the first place. I also think that the constant reductionism presented to me played a part. There’s a lot of reductionism that goes on within the Hamasnik circles, and it goes hand in hand with anti intellectualism. Statements like “this isn’t complex! How can you see these videos of these Palestinian children (videos that I later found out were actually from Syria, but I couldn’t tell, I just ate it up) and think that Israel/Palestine is complex!”

The whole thing of blocking everyone who has a different opinion or ideology (the ideology in question being Zionism, or at least what hamasniks consider to be Zionism) from you and refusing to follow certain news channels because they’ve shown sympathy for those who have a different ideology from you, refusing to read certain books from authors who have expressed empathy for those same people, all of this together effectively creates an echo chamber of the same opinions and views being regurgitated over and over and over again constantly.

Then sprinkle in constant videos of people dying and blood everywhere, videos that you don’t even know where the people are from, whether they be from Gaza, from Syria, Lebanon, or Yemen, but it doesn’t matter because they speak Arabic so it MUST be about the Gazans specifically according to the Hamasnik group you’re apart of, all of these videos you’re being told to constantly watch over and over again because according to the Hamasnik cult you’re in, “if you look away from the violence even ONCE, you’re complicit in genocide! You’re personally responsible for genocide if you look away! The people in Gaza never get a mental health break or comfort so why should you?”

That very same rhetoric is the reason why a lot of you Jewish people can’t find yourself able to escape on fandom spaces and shit like that, the antisemitism you encounter in spaces you thought you were safe in? Yeah it’s because these people are being told that they have to constantly talk about what’s going on in every single space they’re in and that they can’t look away because if they do, they’re considered complicit in the killing of Gazans so they have to let everyone else know the same.

There are a lot of people who are purposefully antisemitic, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t me excusing anyone. I’m just saying that a number of these people genuinely believe that they’re doing something for the greater good by constantly being antisemitic. They don’t consider themselves antisemitic because the echo chamber they’re in has convinced them that Jewish people aren’t experiencing anything, that Jewish people are fine. That it’s the “big bad” that they’re hurting, not the Jews. It’s the “big and scary Zionists!” At least that’s what happened in my case. Constantly told that if I took a break even once, the blood of the Gazans, the blood of every. single. person in Gaza, would be on my own two hands.

You might not believe me, but when you’ve trapped a person in an echo chamber like that, it’s very easy to convince them that an entire country is evil, that every single Israeli is wicked and corrupt and should die and that anyone who expresses an ounce of empathy for them is a “Zionist” and should die as well.

You could’ve told me anything a few months ago. Absolutely anything bad about Israelis and I would’ve believed you. Because I’d scroll social media and see videos of children dying, people being beaten, buildings being destroyed, everything. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of Israelis doing everyday things, videos of people having fun, videos of people eating, etc, and I found it so unfair that they (according to hamasnik rhetoric) were living in absolute peace while Palestinians are dying right next to them. Then I’d scroll some more and see videos of the IDF (I actually don’t even know if the videos were even of the IDF or not, but as I said, you could’ve told me anything and I’d have believed you. I genuinely believed that it was the IDF) shooting people, beating people, etc. And I was told to look at these videos everyday, every hour, every minute, every second. A lot of the Hamasnik mouthpieces take advantage of the average westerner’s inability to understand Arabic or Hebrew, so there’s a lot of mistranslated videos of Israelis saying they want every Arab dead, a lot of mistranslated Al Jazeera videos of people in Amsterdam for example, saying “يهودي قذر" (dirty Jew) with the wrong captions on and then us non Arabic speaking cult trapped people are none the wiser to what that means because we refuse to engage with any sources that won’t fit our narrative, because we’re complicit in death if we step outside the narrative.

I don’t believe that Zionists should die, but I did. I don’t believe that the hostages should suffer, but I did. I truly believed the worst of things, and perpetuated horrible antisemitism, because I genuinely believed that I was doing good. I found myself justifying unspeakable acts, and saying unspeakable things, things that I would have whole heartedly condemned prior, because I genuinely thought I was doing something right. For example, prior to me falling into that cultish trap, I would’ve wholeheartedly condemned saying a slur coined by David fucking Duke. But after? As I said, I was doing and saying unspeakable things.

I would watch videos from Hamasniks everyday, perpetuate antisemitism everyday, go to sleep and dream about that stuff, and wake up and do it all again, first thing in the morning. A vicious cycle.

And unknowingly somewhere else around the world, some Jewish or Israeli person would wake up, witness antisemitism everyday, witness people wishing the worst upon the hostages, the Jews, the Israelis, the Zionists, everyday, go to sleep terrified for what’s happening to their people, and wake up and see it all again first thing in the morning. Another vicious cycle.

I wish I had a better answer for you, I do. An answer that’s more digestible and less disturbing. I wish I could undo everything that I’ve said and done to the people I’ve hurt whether that be in real life or online. I truly am sorry, and I wish that an apology would fix everything, but it won’t. I wish that all the pain I inflicted on all the Jewish people and Israeli people could be taken away and that I would feel that pain tenfold.

If it’s any consolation or solace, I hate myself more than any of you combined. There is nobody who hates me more than me at this current moment in time and I absolutely do deserve every ounce of pain inflicted upon me, whether it be mental or physical. If you wish death upon me, just know that I do agree with you, but unfortunately previous attempts have failed.

I deleted all of my old posts from that period of time to avoid people getting hurt by them anymore, but I think I’ve done too much damage for me to be a good ally, so I just say nothing now, but I truly do wish the best for all of you and I wish that all of this would stop and that the hostages will be found, hopefully alive.

My apologies for writing a whole Bible in your asks, I truly didn’t mean to.

TLDR - reductionism and anti-intellectualism combined with trapping yourself in an echo chamber of regurgitated rhetoric and constantly regurgitating said rhetoric is a quick way to find yourself dabbling in extremism.

To avoid falling into a trap such as this, avoid generalisations of races, ethnic groups, and the like, look for nuance, try hear people out even when you don’t understand them, instead of blocking them (this is in reference to me blocking every single person who opposed my hamasnik ideology at the time. You should probably block hamasniks, they tend to harass Jewish people a lot), and remember that if someone tells you that a whole war isn’t complex, they’re lying. It absolutely is.

I hope you've been able to see the other responses your other ask has gotten as well! Truly, you aren't someone who I hate. Personally, I do forgive you. Other people may not, and that's their right. But I know first-hand what it's like to be radicalized and to not only commit to extreme rhetoric but also extreme actions. I've learned to have compassion for myself, and I hope that with time you will undergo a similar process.

Someone else said it, "you can't hate yourself into being a better person." All of us, as beings, grow with love and kindness. War is hard it's horrific, and hellish. You're constantly exposed to this violent imagery, this extreme rhetoric, and your whole friend groups are getting in on it. I understand exactly how it happens, and I do have sympathy for it.

To me, the most important part of your story isn't the worst shit you've ever done. It's this part. The part where you learn how to be better, and so you do better, and reach out across the divides and bridge those gaps that have formed. That is a very human story.

[deathbxnny]

Hii! How're doing? (^^)

I wanted to know if i can have headcanons of how Sevika would react being in a relationship with a gn!reader that's devoted and so in love with her? Like "how can you be so pretty doing literally anything?" Kind of way. And reader liking being physical touch and making lil' gifts for her

(And if you could make reader into a wolf hybrid that can transform into a big wolf and helps Sevika intimidate her enemies by being protective)

PS: english is not my native lenguage, so i'm sorry if i make a mistake or was rude without meaning to... <3

Sevika with a devoted and loving s/o!

Hello Anon!! I absolutely love this request, and dw, your English is just fine!<33

Content: Fluff, established romantic relationships, sfw

Reader has no mentioned pronouns.

((Not proofread))

Sevika didn't know how she pulled you, to say the least. In her mind, she didn't deserve someone as gentle and loving as you. And yet she was perhaps selfish when it came to keeping you as her partner anyway. She wouldn't let you go for anything. Not when you were the last good thing she had in her life. Not that she'd freely ever admit that though.

With that said, it took her a lot of time and trust to get used to your overly affectionate personality. You practically worshipped every breath she took and loved her unconditionally even with her many flaws. She just couldn't understand how you did it either. How you had the strength to be so kind and soft even in the environment you grew up in. And so she accepted your love for what it was.

She didn't mind how touchy you were with her and even saw some pride in it when you clinged onto her arm whilst walking or happily sat in her lap whilst she played a couple rounds of poker in the bar. And if people crossed her in any way, she was able to count on you, keeping her back clear with your wolf form. One she very much secretly adored. Your appearance and general abilities were never much of an interest to her otherwise, though, as she didn't want to treat you any different for them. (She, however, found your wolf form very adorable, but she'd never say it out loud.)

No matter what the gift is that you give her, whether big or small, she will cherish it all the same for life. She definitely would keep a box filled with your stuff somewhere safe, often reminiscing on the memories of you handing them to her in excitement. She loved seeing how happy you got when she expressed her approval of them, and that's what made her so receptive to it. If you're happy, then she's happy.

Despite your wolf abilities that grant you a lot of strength and protection, she'll still not tolerate anyone insulting you or looking at you in a way she doesn't like. Your health and safety are her number one priority, and she isn't afraid to make that clear to anyone with eyes or ears.

Sevika believes that your presence has made her into a far better person, and she owes you her life for that alone. Hopefully, forever.

[ilovedinodino]

…i was so miserable? l. hc smau

26. different (written) wc: 1515

Haechan, as usual, came to the studio first and very early. In fact, he didn't want to come today at all, because he needed to tell you what he knows, otherwise Renjun would do it, and then things would get even worse. But the main reason he didn’t want to come and see you was fear. He was scared and shy to look you in the eyes after finding out you had feelings for him. Of course, he had feelings for you too—very strong ones—but for some reason, your mutual feelings frightened him yesterday. He had been so sure that you would never like him in that way and that he would never have a chance with you. He was prepared for rejection and had accepted that you would never be together. But yesterday, you proved him wrong, and now his head was spinning with emotions. He was overwhelmed and nervous.

Every training session with you had been fun and comfortable, which surprised you. Falling for Haechan after just seven practices wasn’t something you expected. But he truly was special. Haechan was always kind to you. Even when you made mistakes, he never got upset but patiently helped and supported you. He took charge of everything, you could say that he was the leader in your duo and a very caring leader.

Haechan was different. He wasn’t like your ex.

After your breakup with Chanhyun, you were convinced that you didn’t deserve love and that you would never find someone who could truly be a good partner. He never listened to you and pretended that nothing was going on with you and that you didn't have any problems. Chanhyun never cared about you, ignored your feelings as if they didn’t exist. He saw your diaries and notes in secret and hid about it until one day you saw your diary out of place. It broke your heart that even though he saw everything, he didn't try to talk to you. Even when you tried to talk to him and show him how much you were struggling, he remained indifferent.

Haechan was different.

After that experience, you closed yourself off, even from close friends, and only shared your thoughts and feelings online, where no one knew you. You kept telling everyone you were fine, and most people believed you. But not Renjun. Renjun always knew you better than you realized. He saw how unhappy you were with Changhyun and tried to warn you, but you didn’t listen. After your heart was broken, he was the one who stayed by your side. He saw your tears and the depression you sank into. That’s why Renjun became like an older brother to you, protecting, caring for you and didn't let suspicious guys near you. You didn’t mind. At that point, love wasn’t important to you anymore.

You left the café, holding two cheesecakes and a coffee, feeling happy. Today, you and Haechan were finally going to finish your choreography, and you couldn’t wait to show it to your team.

When you entered the studio, you heard familiar music. “Ateez?”

Haechan was sitting on the couch with his phone in hand. Hearing the door open, he looked up. “Oh, Y/N!” “Hi!” you smiled, sitting next to him and placing the cheesecakes and coffee on the small table. “I got one with strawberry and one with chocolate. I hope you’ll like them. This café always has the best cheesecakes!” you said with a sweet smile.

Haechan froze, staring at you. You were so beautiful in that moment, and he felt his love for you grow even stronger. Wait. Love? Did he love you?

“I’m sure they’re the best cheesecakes,” he replied warmly.

You stood up to go change, but suddenly paused as you listened to the music. “Wait, Ateez? Why are you playing them?” “They just had a comeback, so I decided to listen. Plus, you like them.”

You nodded, heading towards the changing room, but a thought crossed your mind: How does he know I like Ateez?

You stopped in the doorway. “Donghyuck?” “Yeah?” “How do you know I like them?”

The air in the room felt heavy. You weren’t smiling anymore, and Haechan noticed, becoming slightly anxious. “You told me! I remember you mentioned them once, so I remembered!” he said, trying to sound confident. “Oh, really?” you replied awkwardly,already believing in his words, but then he added: “I even remember that your bias is Yunho.”

What?

“Yunho?” “Yeah, you like him a lot, don’t you?” “I never said Yunho was my bias.” “You did.” “No.” “Yes, Y/N, you…” “No. My bias is Seonghwa, not Yunho. And, by the way, I’ve never even mentioned Seonghwa before. Yet you’re claiming I talked about Yunho.”

Why was Haechan so sure about this? What made him think that? How did he even know you liked Ateez? Did you ever tell him?

You froze. “Y/N, are you okay?”

Haechan’s behavior was suspicious. You started recalling all the moments when he unexpectedly showed up when you needed something. You thought he was just attentive, but no, that didn’t seem to be the case.

You remembered how he suddenly gave you chocolates. How he comforted you when you were anxious. How he unexpectedly suggested going for a walk. How someone "randomly" transferred you money when you needed it. How you suddenly started hearing Ateez songs and that your bias is Yunho. And finally, you noticed how Haechan’s attitude toward you had changed. He became more cautious and caring. If he used to joke around and tease you often, now he was entirely different.

Haechan had changed. Haechan knew.

“Do you know about my Twitter?” you asked sharply, looking at him.

Haechan froze, panic spreading across his face. “T-Twitter? Of course, I know. Everyone knows. You know mine too, right?” He let out an awkward laugh, trying to play it off.

“My private account.”

From his reaction, you realized everything. He knew about your Twitter. He knew all your thoughts and struggles.

Haechan swallowed hard and stood up, looking you in the eye. “Y/N, I...”

“You know about my account, Haechan.”

Haechan froze. You never called him Haechan; you were the only one who always used his real name. Hearing his nickname from you in such a cold tone hurt him deeply. “No, no... I’m Donghyuck, not Haechan,” he stammered.

“And here I thought you were just attentive, but instead, you stayed silent and kept it all to yourself?” Your eyes welled up with tears as you stepped away from him.

Haechan panicked and stepped closer, trying to take your hands in his. “Y/N, let me explain everything... It was an accident...”

“God, Renjun was right...” You stepped even further away and lowered your head. Haechan saw tears streaming down your face.

“Y/N, Y/N, I didn’t mean to. I came across it accidentally, please hear me out.”

“You seriously read everything about me, and...” You raised your head, and Haechan froze. “How am I supposed to dance that choreo with you after this?”

Haechan’s heart shattered. “Please, Y/N, hear me out. I didn’t find out that long ago. I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. I was afraid you’d shut me out. We were never that close, and I thought this was a good way to understand you better. I genuinely wanted to help you.”

“You wanted to know me without asking me directly? You know, maybe it’s my fault for not locking my account. It’s not your fault—it’s mine,” you said bitterly.

“No, Y/N, you’re not to blame. Please, don’t say that.”

“Haechan, I just don’t know how to talk to you now, knowing that you know everything about me. Knowing I..." "...I was so miserable?"

“Y/N, don’t say that. Please. You’re not awful. There’s nothing wrong with this.”

“It hurts to know that you now know my worst secrets, but I don’t know anything about you except the image you show to others.”

Haechan stood there, stunned. He watched you breathe rapidly, and he himself was on the verge of tears. “That’s not true! You know a lot about me already, and if you want, I can open up to you even more.”

“So you know that I have feelings for you,” you interrupted, recalling your tweet.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but I want to go home. I can’t dance,” you said as you started gathering your things.

“Y/N, please don’t shut me out. We need to talk...”

You stayed silent.

“Do you want me to tell Jeno that we can’t show our dance? I’ll tell him it’s my fault. I won’t mention you.”

You still said nothing, a lump in your throat stopping you from speaking. Haechan wanted to hug you but feared crossing another line.

“I...” you stammered. “Tell him whatever you want,” you said and walked out of the studio.

Haechan wanted to run after you. He didn’t want to leave you in such a state, knowing he had caused it. But he stayed frozen, staring at the door, tears welling up in his eyes.

Was Haechan different?

-------

prev / masterlist / next

note: I put my soul here. It was so funny to me when you all thought that renjun was jealous and in love with her😭 renjun is my favourite here btw

taglist (open) : @alethea-moon @dinonuguaegi @jenoleeaesthetic @gukuwii @doughyk @elsbunny @dudekiss3r @yuthabitz @thegracerammy @soobinbunnie5 @joyzluvr @yewshi @miniature-tragedy @jaymelee @foxy-kitsune @slayhaechan @chibilino @sleepyvic @minkyuncutie @olladecaramelos @samvagejkflxhrt @gomdoleemyson @nctjunie @ypoom151999

[strangeaxel]

I hate BPD so much, i hate it so much, i just want it to stop being like this.

I'll just go to sleep maybe I'll dream something nice but my god i hate my brain so much I don't even know who i am or what i need, i just want to feel okay i feel like im never enough for anyone. Im just tired and scared,ni hate how life isn't like the movies, i want my life to be a big fiction where im the protagonist, i watch movies and series and i just feel so much jealousy.

I wonder where my friends are, i wonder where my parents are. I wonder where's that childhood I've always wanted. I know I only have one chance to be alive and this is what i get? Remembering my childhood with a 8 year old me begging my mom to kill me bc i didn't want to keep being alive, i just wanted life to end at the tender age of 8 years old and my mom only laughed at me. And my dad doesn't even love me, he never did, i hate him so much as much as he hates me or even more. Idk what to do.

I ain't no perfect human, I'll never be as im sick since i was born and everywhere ill go I'll disgust everyone. Idk what to do anymore. I just want this suffering to stop. Talking isn't useful either, i just want some lovely arms to rest on and feel like I'm in the home i never had.

I hate to know how tough it is to have someone with mental illness as your friend or family, i hate to know im a burden and i hate to know that nobody will actually relate to any of my interests. The world should have stopped in 2015. i envy people that have friends and still do that bullshit of "no, im fine" and say internally "oh i love them, they're so lovely but I'll just keep quiet so i don't bother them" and their friends and family would die to know their state, selfish bullshit, i know you're sad and all but where tf did you get that idea??! I literally would die for your situation. My lord. I wish i could just have what you have. I wish i was skinny, i wish i was innocent, i wish i was a kid again and stop everything that's coming to me, i wish i had born somewhere else, i wish i wasn't me, i wish my brain wasn't like this, i wish nobody hated me, i wish i didn't hate everyone, i wish i could live, i wish my dad love me, i wish my family love me, i wish everyone love me, i wish i was a good person, i wish i was somewhere else.

I won't accept im 20 next year, I won't accept my life is ruined, I won't accept i am still alive.

I wanna be an idle teen. Something i couldn't even do. Im that autistic girl that died in her couch, that's me, it's just that nobody know it, nobody knows my parents don't care enough, nobody knows i drop off school bc of bullying and depression at 13 and that i rot in my bed.

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

[ceilidho]

Me: I don't like fauxcest so I'll avoid the tag/ block any accounts.

Also me: I want a daddy Dom who's really big on being a prodiver, probably got daddy issues himself, is an older man and financially secure. Makes sure I'm fed, well dressed and happy. Maybe even makes me live with him so he can just freeuse me and have something to look after because he just really wants to-

Like. I know it ain't the same but everyday it feels like it's borderline treading into that territory and idk if I can face myself or have the strength to accept that about myself. Like I use to be a puritan prude in my youth so the fact I ended up with a daddy kink would make my teen self disgusted. But ya know, shit happens.

I probably won't ever pass over that territory as I do get icked out by the idea of referring to a sexual partner as 'dad' or anything like that. So it's clearly not for me but I need some people to look at themselves TRUELY look at the stuff they're into or want in a partner coz probably like me, they are one kink/good fic/wild fantasy away from the "gross icky kinks!!" They wanna ban so much

Ever since I became an adult and started exploring what I like, letting myself read fics I was like "I'm not gonna like this but I'm desperate for content" and then come out of a changed person - I do start caring less. Do I still have my own opinions and icks and such? Yeah but like, the best thing about the Internet is that you can just block tags, block people or images that don't agree with you. Keep to your bubble of people who agree with you and such, but like, if you're not atleast aware or open to the fact your views may be hypercritical or even abit weird or taboo yourself - that's just destined to fail.

I think a lot of people can't separate identity from interests either, or they feel incredibly locked in with their identity.

like, you're allowed to find things gross, block them, or enjoy reading certain topics but only to an extent (like you won't allow yourself to enjoy anything beyond your limit because you're scared about what you'll uncover about yourself). it's also fine to one day come back to those same things and reevaluate your original opinion.

I'm not sure how to describe this but I feel like a lot of people have this tendency to equate any Thing they enjoy with subsuming that thing into their personality/identity, and if you think that way, then obviously any potential interest seems like a Threat to the persona/identity you've been meticulously building your entire life. which is terrifying! i do understand that there's a large group of people that probably equate reading/enjoying any content that's remotely dark to a real life want.

I personally think the most generous thing you can do for yourself is say "okay, I enjoyed that. it doesn't have to mean anything." you can read the kinkiest erotica ever and then go on to enjoy a vanilla sex life (or no sex life! tons of asexual people enjoy erotica). it simply doesn't have to be a big deal.

and this is also not saying you have to enjoy or force yourself to enjoy content that disgusts you. the brain is just complex. if you're living life in a way that is compassionate and avoids causing harm to other people, but some of your interests/kinks tend to veer towards the dark/taboo, just give yourself the grace to realize that an interest is not this Big, Horrible thing that'll destroy you and turn you into something monstrous.

[kanguin]

Ideal show:

Slow paced adult audience portal fantasy anime where a shutin dies in an accident, unfulfilled, unaware of who he really is, but is reincarnated into a fantasy world with a demon king situation. Standard fare. However, instead of getting going right away, the protagonist stays depressed and doesn't even attempt to start the quest he was given until he meets a high energy local adventurer lady, and through helping out with a sudden incident in town, protag and the adventurer form the first true friendship he's ever had. He finds her attractive, but doesn't say as much, as it he quickly finds out via a run in with her ex that she's a lesbian. Turns out, this magical world is enthusiastically and normalizing-ly accepting of queer people, and that actually comforts him greatly for some reason, even though he's pretty sure he's a straight guy; must just be happy for the people here.

His new friend encourages the him to go on and start the quest to defeat the demon king. It's a long journey, and will take years, but if he's prophesied to be the hero, then he's the only one who can do it. There's just one problem, the one prophesied to kill the demon king is a woman. Surely then he must have just misheard, clearly he must have been summoned to HELP the hero, which while disappointing and less glamorous, eases the burden somewhat. So the two gear up for their journey, and the protagonist purchases a magical item from a shop, a bracelet said to help the wearer reach their true potential. If that potential is heroism, it helps you build muscle and strengthens your bones. If that potential is music, your dexterity and fine motor skills slowly improve. Whatever change needs to be made, will be made. So surely, if a nobody like protag is taking to help defeat the demon king, that will be necessary.

The two set off, heading through more and more difficult areas as their quest takes them toward the heart of evil. Slowly but surely, protag gets stronger and faster, hell this bracelet is even smoothing out his skin. With his friend's help, protag slowly catches up to her, but not before she advances further. His adventurer friend has flings from time to time, but this doesn't really bother him, he's just happy she's happy. However the adventurer is getting confused, because she's certain she's not into men, but sometimes the light catches her friend's eyes, or glows off his hair, and she feels... Funny.

As time passes, protag's hair gets longer, from many uncut months, but it's also getting denser and more voluminous, and his hand, despite getting stronger wielding shields and swords, are also getting softer. Maybe the bracelet is trying to sighal to him to live a quiet life? But hey his stomach's getting flatter, even if it's all just shifting down to his thighs. Eh, must be there to build muscle, right?

(more under cut, this started out as a simple wishlist of ideas but ballooned into a full vague framework of a story)

But slowly, this new world challenges the protagonist on facts he took for granted. He meets people who were born one way, only to find they would rather be another, and starts to question what it even means to be a man, or if it even meant the same thing to him as other men. It means nothing to him though... Slowly, he stops trying to prove his manliness at times, and just, wants to be himself. But he's starting to question who he even is; new experiences keep making the protagonist think back to their old life, and reanalyze some things they never gave any time of day. Suddenly they're relating less and less to men, and really, truly feeling happy in the company of women. Perhaps it's just because men bullied them?

Meanwhile, the protagonist is looking... Prettier? And smiling when they see themself in the mirror? They're normally a sad snarker, but their adventurer friend is starting to be thrown off guard by their genuine joy along the journey. And... Kind of attractive, but holy shit what??? They're a guy, she doesn't swing that way, no way.

By the time they're halfway to the demon king's castle, they're greeted at a tavern as two "young ladies". Which throws the two of them for a loop, because clearly there's only one girl here, right there. Sure, the protag is pretty androgenous, always have been, so the mistake is easy to make, but... Wait have they always been androgynous? No they were clearly just some out of shape guy when they got here, why would getting in shape from a magic bracelet make that less defined. And that's when the two remembered.

The bracelet works off of the true self, the full potential of a person.

The two get a room at the in and realize they NEED to talk about what this means. The adventurer is excited, but protag is just confused. The adventurer shouts in joy that protag must be destined to ge a girl, that's why the prophecy seemed off. In a panic, protag checks their pants... Okay little buddy is still there. This, however, makes their friend crack up laughing. She's in hysterics at why they think becoming a girl means that would change. Sure, most girls have a vulva, she has one she says, but not all girls do. And if your truest, most ideal self still has a dick, there's no reason it would go anywhere.

Sure, they've been happier lately, and no longer hate seeing their face in mirrors, but do they really see themself as a girl? Wait, they've not really been referring to themself as a guy in a while, and somewhere along the line "he/him" just got dropped without them even noticing. Why does this suddenly put a lot of things from the past into context? Why does that feel like a weight off their increasingly heavier chest? Changes like this, so gradual you don't even notice, so right they just feel natural... maybe this is what they needed. Maybe this is what they've always wanted. Maybe when they arrived in this world, they weren't exactly the hero of legend, but maybe... maybe they want to become her?

This introspection greatly relieves their friend, who had grinned and bared that she must have stumbled into the responsibility, but never truly felt right taking the chosen hero's role just because of a little gender incongruence. Then again, everything about the backwards, if technologically advanced, world her friend came from makes sense why they just assumed it must be her instead.

When the pair got back on the road again, the two adventurers were working in better sync than ever. The friend native to this world started peppering in feminine terms when talking to and about the protagonist. She'd comment on "her" hair, ask a blacksmith to repair (and adjust) "this fine lady's armor". When the terms would hit a nerve, she'd back off, but slowly, the terminology started to make the protag smile sheepishly.

The protagonist wasn't the only one who was changing, of course. While both were becoming more skilled adventurers as they took on bigger and bigger missions, the more seasoned of the two found herself sitting closer on benches to her friend, stealing glances at night when they brush strands of hair out of their face, having to look away when the tent curtain isn't fully closed when the protagonist starts changing... Oh my god she's into her. Them. Whatever. At least protag isn't a guy after all?

The two of them pick up other party members along the way; some stay for a while, some leave, but by just after halfway there they're a pretty consistent team of four, and the other two are certain there's something between the co-leaders, but hell if they're going to poke that hornet's nest of drama, they have to hear the two of them fretting fruitlessly to themselves when the other isn't around as is.

2 years into the journey, and just looking at the protagonist, there's no clue she could have ever been mistaken for a man. Mere months from the demon king's castle, and she's gone from a joke the hordes can't take seriously to a fearsome warrior you don't approach, lest she strike you down with her blade or her crossbow-wielding situationship takes you out first.

Despite all the battlefield confidence, however, the protagonist and her oldest companion in this world still rest at a stalemate, where each have formed a wall of excuses for why they shouldn't approach the other about how they feel. Fighting is easy, navigating feelings is complicated, especially when the circumstances today are different from when they first met years ago. The demon king is mere months away, the party is ready to take him on, but that's bizarrely ever the topic of conversation. The mage and cleric find it not only amusing, but also reassuring, as if navigating complex social barriers is their biggest concern, then they're probably going to be just fine.

That is, it's funny until it's gone on for 3 years, the captain's a clueless virgin, the co-captain stopped having hookups over a year ago, and both are pent up to high heaven.

Then one day, just before they get to the demon castle, the impending threat cracks the surface of the tension, and the protagonist confesses to her companion, even though she knows her friend only dates women, she just has to confess. To this, her friend calls her an idiot for not realizing that isn't an issue, it hasn't been for a long time. She does reciprocate those feelings though, she was just worried the protagonist had long ago written her off as an option after she made it clear she wasn't into men, even though things had changed. In relief, the two laugh, sob, and hug, before pulling away into a long overdue kiss.

The party, newly resolved of tension, gathers their materials, and lays absolute shit into the demon king. The three years that it took to get here had honed all of them into fine warriors, but most of all the protagonist's bracelet had made her into the perfect weapon to slay the evil tyrant. With a decisive slash, the absolute evil that had plagued this land was now without his head, and the hordes of his armies that witnessed this cowered in fear of their defeat.

It would take many more years before the rest of his forces in the land outside the path the party cleared were stamped out, but the root had been thoroughly ripped out and the land could heal and rebuild without threat of absolute destruction for once in many millennia. The protagonist and her "best friend" would go on to get married, and after a few more years helping stamp out the dark army's remnants, the two would settle down in a small town, open a shop, and most of all be happy.

Maybe they stay monogamous, maybe they find a third person they both fall in love with. Maybe they eventually open the relationship but have each other as their anchors they always come home to. Maybe just the one from the magical world originally goes back to hookups on the side with her wife's blessing. I don't care how it's handled (though shirking monogamy in a story is always welcome), but I need a story like this put to animation in my lifetime. Maybe I might write my own story off this framework someday, fleshed out into a full narrative with actual names and locations, but if something like this gets put into production, which is a pipe dream I know, I would truly die happy. I love portal fantasies and their opportunity to explore a world unlike ours, and the opportunity for fish-out-of-water tales that help the protagonist grow into a better version of themself bring me so much joy. So to take this genre that is so often male wish fulfillment, and make it something that reflects my fantasies as a queer trans feminine person, it would just make me so happy.

I hope what I wrote is enjoyable by anyone who reads this, and I sincerely hope I don't have to mute this post from terf backlash or something. If you got to the end here, thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart.

[genderqueerdykes]

sorry if this is a question better suited for an asexuality centered blog-

can you have the sex-repulsed part of asexuality without actually being asexual?

for a while I thought I was demisexual, because I'm completely happy with non-sexual relationships and I prefer it that way, but I realized that I definitely do feel sexual attraction

I feel attraction to both real people and fictional, but the best way I can say it is I just don't want it? like yes for example I find my partner sexually attractive, but I don't want any sort of sexual involvement. with anyone. I'm fine seeing it, but if it involves myself it just squicks me out

am I somewhere on the ace spectrum or am I just like, celibate?

i accept questions about aromanticism and asexuality, i'm on both of those spectrums!

i would say that yes, this can be a form of asexuality. trauma can also cause this but obviously you know your own experiences, if you do not have trauma, then it can just be a part of you. i've seen this as a pretty common and normal expression of asexuality for sure, i've known several people who feel this way. honestly i feel in a much similar way, i find people attractive, but i don't much care for sexual encounters. they're not really for me. so i can understand where you're coming from!

a lot of asexual people experience attraction but do NOT want to have sexual encounters and that's totally okay. you can also consider this a non-asexual thing if you want, but i did want to say this is a very common asexual experience! you're more than welcome to call yourself that if you feel it fits you

also, anyone is free to send questions about aromanticism and asexuality, i'm more than happy to answer those! take care for now! feel free to ask any more questions you may have!

edit: the term Orchidsexual may be of some use to you!

[wemlygust]

It's also reinforced by countless published authors and scriptwriters all saying that people should, "make your villain relatable! Don't make them just evil for evil's sake. The reader should be able to understand why they're doing what they're doing. A tragic villain doing the wrong thing for the right reasons is more compelling and more interesting than a flat villain being evil because evil." People take that advice. And they overdo it and make the villain's reasons make too much sense, oh no, we have to make it evil somehow... Okay also they kill babies! See! Evil! Which, funnily enough, undermines the original goal of making the villain relatable/realistic/interesting/not-evil-for-evil's-sake, because it's literally making the villain evil for evil's sake, except also they have good ideas sometimes. So the remaining, accidental, moral, is just that villains can be right about some stuff. And that the heroes are heroic even if, having delivered passionate speeches about how the villain's methods are unacceptable and how they're doing all the wrong things even if it's for the right reason... they continue to do nothing whatsoever about the underlying problems that inspired the existence of the supervillain in the first place (accidental realism there). My Hero Academia is especially frustrating in this regard. I love that show, don't get me wrong. But it comes SO CLOSE to actually addressing the villains' arguments - which largely about their society's and government's deep inequality problems - seriously, and then just... doesn't. Like. The villains in MHA are all social outcasts for reasons beyond their control. One was raised by a villain. Another is a trans woman (who is fridged pretty early on, but also her teammates use the right pronouns and correct people who misgender her much later on in the show, which is still a surprising/unusual inclusion for a anime/manga, especially for shonen). Another just looks like a lizard and has been discriminated against for that. Multiple were born with powers that, without proper support, can accidentally cause harm, or which other people are alarmed by. They are absolutely intentionally a band of rejects from mainstream society who have been in many ways pushed into becoming villains. They get an entire villain season/arc that *focuses on their perspective and follows them instead of the heroes*. And even after aaaaaall that.... the show STILL never actually has the heroes confront the problems that the villains are very clearly very correct about. It's so frustrating because there are so many points where it feels like it gets so close to that. To maybe having superheroes realize that their society - which they themselves absolutely benefit from in the form of fame and money - has deep flaws that need to be fixed so that the society stops creating villains in the first place. To maybe going in interesting directions with that. But it DOESN'T. It's SO FRUSTRATING ARGH.

... Still a great show though. Anyway I really think a lot of neigh-universal writing advice tidbits like that "make villains' motivations make sense and be relatable, doing anything else is flat and boring" just tends to create 1) a new wave of same-y fiction that all does the same thing and becomes boring after a while, and 2) unintended consequences of various kinds, like this one. (granted this issue with the portrayal of supervillains as "makes a lot of good points but also kills kittens for fun so we can just ignore everything they say I'm sure it's fine" is also deeply rooted in the history of the superhero genre, American media's portrayals of cops (including the in-media-acceptability of cops spying, breaking and entering without a warrant, torturing people and having that be effective), and so on. /rant

[sunnydust2003]

Vent:

It's official

I'm scared of her rn because since i deleted my DA account, she won't leave me alone.

She's still stalk and harassing me despissd facts, i left this god awful website.

She's calls me like a pedo, zoophilia, child murder and etc with no proof and took out of context.

Like explame this as possible i am:

1. Pedo stuff:

The reason why she's call me a pedo because i favourite parody of Cuties which was make funny of pedo which i favourite because i like people make fun of this type people who deserve that from piece of shit but i regrett favourite this art.

And one thing, i hate Cuties because you know why.

I'm glad it's got remove from good.

2. Zoophilia:

She's calls me a Zoophilia just because i comment of one my friends art of "Oh No, He's so Hot" gif of Squidward from picture of Donald being muscular (it's not fetish art btw) and she's believe i have crush on Donald which i don't have actually crush on Donald Duck.

Do i like Donald Duck, yes but do you have crush on Donald.

The answer is fuck no.

Donald isn't my fictional crush.

3. Shipping Ren and Stimpy.

She's believe i ship Ren and Stimpy just because of i comment one of person which i ask person where she's start ship Ren and Stimpy because i like heard when they start liles ship or anything.

Beside i don't ship Ren and Stimpy because i see them as friends and nothing else more.

4. She's hates when someone favorite artwork just because they don't like.

She's blame me of i favourite Spongebob x Vocaloid: Lust because she doesn't like song which okay fine but why you blame me from this.

Oh yeah because he's was prevent to female or some shit which btw i never actually listen to Lust or anything because i'm not interest on song.

Only i favourite because artwork was amazing and that's why favourite art in first place.

5. She's blame me over i ship something.

She's blame me over i made status about i cringe myself when i used ship Elsa and Selena Gomez just because i thought it's was adorable.

Keep mind, i was minor back the day, i didn't have brain development until i get olded and realized:

What the fuck is wrong with me.

Idk what's wrong with my younger self when ship this two.

I'm glad i stop ship this two because it's was weird af.

6. She's calls me a child murder.

Yup she's calls me a child murder because of i was hyper about FNAF movie and says i'm only watch movie because i want see kids get killed which wtf are you talk about?!

I'm not watch movie because kids get killed, i'm watch this movie because of how adoption of game it's was.

And i'm glad they didn't show kids get killed in movie because last time i have experince with kids get killed is was hard to watch.

7. She's rant about how i so called treat my friends shit.

Now yes, this was true i was asshole about my friends about whole of "Freddy hates his friends" but i was only mad at this because my friends is remind me of toxic cartoon community and i don't want my friends become one of them but since i watch AOSTH and Scratch, Grounxed and Coconuts are become my new favorite characters, i realized i was asshole towards my friends and i apologie to him from real this time and he's accept this apologie.

This now, we talks about Freddy fight Peck or other his interest, hell i even give him a idea and drawing based of i comment on this because i want make him a happy and i love make friends a happy.

But what really pissed me off is she's lying about me so called sent my whiteknight to my friends which it's was bullshit because i don't even have whiteknight and don't want harassing my friends over this.

I may was asshole but at least i apologie about my action and i want improve myself.

She's just lying herself with no proof of this.

8. Finally she's get trigged over i made one meme of Lincoln get kick out which was meant be make fun of toxic TLH fanbase of how overprotective Lincoln when Lincoln is no better.

Now if you see Such No Luck, i made meme this because i want pissed TLH fans off because how over sentisive about this when Lincoln is no better because he's was lying about he's got bad luck just want have free time when he's could tells his family honest.

Before you say, no i'm not defense Lynn Jr and facts, both of them are unlikable.

So yeah.

9. She's blame me over the facts, voice actor of Abby (Back at the Barnyard) is anti vaxxer and she's say i should proud of her because she's so called cares her children which i have question:

If she's so called cares her child, she shouldn't realized maybe i should protect my kids from infection but nope, she doesn't give a fuck about her children and forced on people who tells to wear mask is canceled culture which prove me a point, she doesn't care from children.

And i want talks about her double stands ass because i like how she's called me a pedo when she's also defense Rev Says Desu who is lolicon and she's defense him by saying:

"Oh he's not going after a real kids, they are just fictional characters" which is gross af.

And thing is she favourite of My Melody and Kuromi from Sanrio x Yu-Gi-Oh pillow sexual which remind me of:

"My Melody and Kuromi are underage" which is red flags because how she support this type shit.

So remember i tell you about she's thinks calling me a child murder just because i was hyper about FNAF movie.

About that, she's also double stands because she's calling me a child murder over FNAF movie but yet, she's have favourite FNAF on her DA.

Hey are you same person telling me about i'm so called support child murder just because of one movie but yet, you favourite FNAF despised facts, you just said to me i support child murder but i guess, she's become stupid af and acting like she's a innocent person.

Yeah fuck this bullshit.

So yeah, i'm done with this shit.

It's time to move on from good.

So yeah, if you reading this:

Please leave me the fuck alone, i don't want have deal with you or anything.

I just want get free from stalker and harassing i got from you.

So please leave the internet and get some seriously help.

[llamaisllama777]

I Wanna talk about today's LAES episode!

Okay, I loved this episode and am pleasantly surprised by how mature most of them handled this, especially Lunar and Moon. Lunar knows he messed up, and he really has no excuse for what he did. He made a dumb mistake with MAJOR repercussions. He takes his punishment like a man and accepts it won't be easy to earn everyone's forgiveness, and it's up to Earth if she wants to forgive Lunar or not and that's fair.

Monty and Moon are rightly mad at Lunar, and while I think Monty shouldn't threaten to punch Lunar, it's entirely fair. That's just who Monty is. He's an angry guy and doesn't like it when people hurt people he cares about, so while he shouldn't have threatened Lunar, it is to be expected. Monty loves Earth. She's one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he adores her and hates seeing her get hurt and betrayed... again. While yes, it was an accident, it was a very poorly and badly timed accident.

We don't know if Earth is gonna be okay.

-Best case scenarios

They get all the negative star power out of her and she's back to her old self again

Or she's fine, but she just feels numb like Monty's arm did for like five months.

-WORST case scenario

She dies.

Monty has all the right in the world to be mad. Everyone here does. Lunar could have killed Earth! Or hurt Moon, or Jack, or Dazzle. They have all right to be mad!

I'm glad all of them still care for Lunar and still see him as a brother and don't want anything bad to happen to him. I'm proud of Moon despite the fact that he was very hurt by Lunar's words he still loves him. If this had been how OLD old Moon he would have torn Lunar to shreds verbally... and then maybe physically.

I'm proud he's grown from his angry past.

Sun and Solar seem the most sad to kick Lunar out, but they understand his actions NEED to have consequences.

I've seen some people say that it's not fair for them to kick out Lunar and say he's dangerous...

Guys... HE IS. Lunar is basically a walking BOMB!

Yes, Monty has access to dangerous weapons, and so does Solar and Moon... but they keep those away from Earth in places she won't find them or get hurt by them.

Sun has magic.... he can control it.

(when he's not having a nightmare)

While everyone in that room is dangerous, they're all careful. Lunar wasn't.

So, now he has to face the consequences. It's sad to see Lunar be separated from his family and still have no idea who he is or what he's supposed to be... but who knows, maybe this is what Lunar needs. Plus, if Lunar doesn't want to stay in THIS universe, I can think of one universe that could be a big help to him...

*Cough! Eclipse and Puppet's! Cough!*

This could be the first step in the right direction.

I get why people are upset at the Celestial family and Monty for kicking out Lunar... BUT I can't argue that they didn't do anything wrong. I think the Celestial did the right thing.

Actions have consequences both GOOD and BAD.

Also... does anyone else think Lunar's apartment reminds them of Peter Parker's from the Tobey Maguire Spider-man movies and Spider-man No way home. It just gives me that vibe.

Also... I feel SO BAD for Earth!

The girl has been betrayed by

-Her father

-Her brother (Nexus)

-Monty for not telling Earth about his crimes (They worked that out)

-And now Lunar!

Girl probably gonna have trust issues after this.

[the-bat-bros]

Anxious! Tim Drake

Have some angst head cannons

Anxious! Tim Drake who assumes that if anyone is upset near him, it’s his fault

Anxious! Tim Drake who hides in his room when his family is arguing, and stares at the wall, trying to make out what is being said a few doors down

Anxious! Tim Drake who dissociates whenever he is in trouble

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets aggravated the first time Dick tries to help him through a panic attack

“I said I’m fine”

“Tim I can see that you aren’t fine, and that’s okay. Please talk to me, tell me what’s going on. Let me help-”

“I said I’m fine!”

Anxious! Tim Drake who feels bad about shoving people away who are just trying to help him. But he doesn’t need help. They’re only pitying him anyway. They don’t actually care.

Anxious! Tim Drake who bounces his knee, taps his fingertips together, or twirls a pen to help get some of his anxieties out

Anxious! Tim Drake who absolutely breaks down on the floor in the bathroom when a mission went wrong. It was his fault. He didn’t do enough. He should have done more. He needs to prove himself. He needs to do better.

Anxious! Tim Drake who is up all night because his mind won’t shut up, going over every tiny little detail of the day and what he could have done differently. He’s such a failure. He doesn’t deserve to be part of this family. He needs to be better. They’re probably still upset about that thing from three years ago. Oh god why did he sound so silly talking to Bernard last week? Why didn’t he offer to help Damian with his homework is he a bad brother? Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Anxious! Tim Drake who finally accepts help from Jason. Jay links Tim up with his therapist. Therapy sucks but Jason was right, it’s helping

Anxious! Tim Drake who learns to journal. Writing down what he think he did wrong and then writing why it was okay underneath that. He feels so silly when he does this, but it helps

Anxious! Tim Drake who gets a little better every day. It will take time. Healing isn’t linear. But he isn’t a failure. He is doing the best that he can. And that’s enough.

[glitterymarshmellowfem]

Some people come to the winery to just taste the wines, b/c it's outdoors, this lovely lady does her wine tasting while smoking. Her boyfriend thinks she looks hot smoking and encourages her to smoke. The lady manager, always looking for a way to make their wines appeal to a wider audience, approaches their table with three glasses and a bottle of one of their more expensive vintages, not normally used for the tastings, asks if she could join them. They quickly agree. She removes the cork and pours all three a generous glass of this expensive varietal. As they sit and sip and talk, the manager proposes an offer to the lady. She starts by complimenting the patron on her stunning fresh looks and says, the winery would like to use her in a new ad campaign meant to make their wines more appealing to other smoking ladies; would she be interested. The smoking babe is flattered by the proposal. When she finds out the ad company would shoot several ads in different settings and provide her with the fashions she would wear. She could keep the clothing, be paid handsomely, and if successful, the scenes would be shot at sites around the world all expenses paid. Her boyfriend encourages her, and b/c she was in between jobs she accepted. Later a contract is signed and she says good-bye to her boyfriend and promises to hurry back.

Her sites are all in the USA at first, at posh hotels, night clubs, yachts, and on the grounds of lovely mansions. She is posed in lovely slinky formal gowns, trendy casual wear, and swimsuits on yachts all with her smoking and sipping. She gets to enjoy the glamour of this lifestyle. All of the male actors she is posed with are handsome hunks. As she swept up in jetting across the US on private jets with handsome men she succumbs to the lifestyle of the rich and famous, she starts getting seduced by the men and begins sleeping with them.

The campaign is wildly successful and a major cigarette company joins the winery's campaign. The success takes them to Europe. She is gone away longer. She starts out calling her boyfriend every day. Then as she has sex with more men, it goes to every other day, saying how busy she is. Then it becomes just texts saying what they're doing. Usually they are from a hotel room bed, where she has just been freshly fucked.

Her boyfriend sees her ads and remembers what it was like when she was with him. In Europe, where smoking was more the norm, her campaign is even more successful. The cigarette company, for their European audience, pays more of the costs, starting to make her more glamorous. Her clothes become more suggestive, more low-cut, higher slits in the gowns, the swimsuits now just string bikinis, barely covering here tits and pussy. The winery pulls out of the campaign as she was not the fresh girl she once was. She now is a sexpot, always seen smoking. She stopped communicating with her boyfriend who was fine with that, cause he wasn't interested in being associated with such a slutty woman. As she becomes more addicted to smokes and more addicted to the sex, her popularity keeps rising. Until one day, she's accused of having sex with a minor. She didn't, the police proved she was innocent, but the damage was done. The cigarette company let her go.

Living the high life she'd burned through all her money while working. She sold her nice fashions for pennies on the dollar, which was enough to live on. She didn't have enough money for a ticket back to the States. She needed a job. But what? One day in Eastern Europe where she was shooting when she was charged for undersge sex, she was walking past a club that featured an all-girl, totally nude review, that had a sign out for female dancers. She auditioned and the owner thought, this former famous wine-cigarette girl would draw customers hired her. She did bring in the low-life, and they paid to see her strip. She didn't get paid much, so she accepted propositions from the male customers for sex. So this once famous ad girl was reduced to earning a living stripping on stage and stripping in run down hotels and getting her ass and cunt fucked by European low-lifes. She resigned herself to accepting what she had and lost and what she had now.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 15

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

“Hey F, could I get some of that dip? Someone threw all of my cans of Snus away when he confiscated my stuff.”

“Sure thang, handsome. Oh- you sure you need that much Stan? You’ve cold-turkey’d nicotine for weeks now.”

“I’ll be fine, stretch. It’s not like I haven’t done worse for less.”

(...)

“Fiddleford, is there a particular reason Stanley is under the table in the recovery position?”

“He tried too much chew all at once, he’s got the nic-sick.”

“Stanley, I told you that you needed to quit that nasty habit! This is precisely why I threw your tobacco products away when you came here.”

“Y’know this headache was bad enough without you yelling at me.”

“I cannot believe you enabled him.”

“Stanford, he's a grown man, he’s allowed to use nicotine if he wants to.”

“He can still hear you. And you know what? I don’t think you ever need to bitch at me about it ever again, Doc. I’m not touching the stuff again for a long time…”

“It’s for your own good.”

“PhD, next time you think about saying that I want you to remember I’m not above hitting a guy with glasses.”

(...)

“Stan, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven going on twenty-eight.”

“Do you remember when your birthday is?”

“Not the date, no. I know it’s late spring or early summer.”

“And I know your memories are hazy, but did you ever… celebrate it?”

“I think the last time I did was before I was on the streets. After that? There wasn’t a point, I was alone. Why do ya need to know, F?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“Stanford, how old are you?”

“Twenty-seven.”

“When is your birthday?”

“June 15th.”

“And if I remember correctly from BMU, you never celebrate it?”

“Last time I did I was seventeen.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“I told you back then Fiddleford, I did not see a point, I was-...”

“Used to sharing it?”

“Why?”

“I’m just checking is all.”

(...)

“So each of these is supposed to be your, what, doctors cert?”

“Doctoral degree, and yes.”

“So you have a dozen of them?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Twelve whole PhDs? That’s pretty cool.”

“...You really think so?”

“Yeah, most people don’t even got one -  but you got one for each finger huh?”

“That’s not why I-. Well, yes, I suppose I do.”

“Stanford! Stan! I’m back, come over to the kitchen!”

“Do ya know what he left for?”

“He did not say.”

“Why’d he turn out the ligh-.”

“Surprise!”

*Stan and Ford stop at the entryway to the kitchen. Fiddleford is standing next to the table, which has a sheet cake and twenty-eight lit candles*

“...”

“Fiddleford, what is this?”

“I know you said you don’t see a point to your birthday, but I couldn’t help myself.”

“Oh, it’s your birthday?”

“...Stanley. It’s not just my birthday.”

“Are you okay Stan? You’re looking spooked. I apologize if I put you on the spot-”

“N-No. I’m fine. It’s uhh- I don’t even know when my birthday is.”

“It’s today. We’re twins.”

“...”

“You still don’t believe-.”

“Wouldn’t, you know, the other guy, be upset?”

“There is no ‘other guy’, it’s literally you.”

“I’m- I don’t… I don’t know what to tell you.”

“Stanley, I understand you’ve stubbornly held onto the belief that I’m insane and trying to replace something I’ve lost-”

“The cake’s getting covered in wax here, fellers.”

“But I haven’t celebrated my birthday in a long time, because I’m used to sharing it. I am not trying to force you to, but I’m requesting you let me share it with you; I want to share it with you.”

“...Fuck it, I said I’d play along with your delusions until you got over it. Okay, PhD, I accept your offer. But I’m taking all of the corner pieces of the cake.”

“I can accept those terms.”

“Okay you two, I don’t think we got enough time to sing the happy birthday song before the candles melt themselves outta their wicks. So just blow ‘em out and make your wishes.”

(...)

“Hello, Dr. Stanford Pines speaking.”

“Stanford?”

“Hey Ma.”

“Happy birthday hon.”

“Thanks Ma.”

“Please tell me you celebrated your birthday this year. I know your last one couldn’t have been easy after-”

“I was busy with research last year. This year, yes I celebrated, I have… Company, this time.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful. Listen hon, I know it hasn’t been easy without Stanley since… the accident.”

“I’ve had more than enough time to think about it. I am not going to lie to you and say I’m not upset at all, but it’s been long enough that I have other things to concern myself with.”

“I just want you to know if things get too hard, don’t be afraid to talk to your old Ma again.”

“...I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I love you, Stanford.”

“I love you too, Ma.”

To be continued…

[kurishiri]

9.5 . . . “ a convenient relationship ”

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ notice ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ this translation may not be 100% accurate or contain creative liberties due to characterization or narrative flow purposes. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost these or claim these as your own!

— 💋 his side story, chapter 9. this is one you can purchase on your second play through of his route.

— cw: some suggestiveness, could be considered dub-con.

Kate: So, the reason why you do what you do for the people in the slums...

K: ...is it because you understand their pain, and suffering?

Alfons: If it is as you say, that I am doing it for them, then perhaps such is the case.

——In the East End, I show a happy illusion to the bunch crawling their way through this dark reality.

It was something I had continuously done since a young age, so when it came to things such as the reason why I did it or what meaning it held,

to be honest, I couldn’t care less about that.

It was a hobby I had continued out of habit. A source of amusing entertainment. That was all it amounted to.

Kate: ...This is far from the first time you’ve dodged my question.

Perhaps Kate couldn’t accept my response for what it was, because she turned away, pouting.

(...The way she sulks does so resemble that of a child.)

Her profile looked so sweet and darling, the corners of my lips relaxed, unbeknownst to myself.

It felt like I just wanted to leave things the way they were, and keep looking on at it...

Or perhaps, it was a tickling desire to tease her and wanting to boop her...

Alfons: Hehe, you needn’t pucker your lips so.

Kate: ...?

In the end, the latter feelings overtook me, so I booped my fingertips on her lips, causing her to turn her eyes my way.

Alfons: For you see, your words ring so dear to me I just may not be able to resist the urge to give you a kiss here.

Kate: ...!

Her eyes looked into mine, as if she was glaring,

before she looked down, looking hesitantly around my lips.

(...It truly is a walk in the park figuring out what the little robin is thinking.)

(I can’t even be annoyed anymore. At this point I’m even a tad worried for her.)

Alfons: ...Would you like me to do it? Kiss you, I mean.

Kate: Wh—!? N-no, not at all...

Alfons: Why so worked up now? If you want to do it, it’s fine to just say that as is, am I right?

Kate: Well, I don’t want it.

Alfons: Yes, yes, I hear you. So? Were you able to find my weaknesses?

Kate: ...

The conversation ended there, and Kate’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, seemingly dissatisfied.

And as though to hide any shame, she cleared her throat before suddenly turning away again.

(Hehe... ahh, she’s just so cute.)

(Getting played so easily like a toy, what a poor soul you are, Miss Kate.)

Kate: ...No, I couldn’t find any. I mean, you answered my questions just like that, without any hesitation.

K: So, I take it that you having been an orphan and the fact you use your abilities in the slums couldn’t amount to something like a weakness?

Alfons: Is that so? I wonder about that.

A: You see, aside from Elbie and Roger, I also am not sure who else knows of my true origins.

Kate: Huh!?

K: Are you saying not even Victor and William know...?

Alfons: Well, I suppose those two would be in the know.

A: Oh, while we’re at it, I reckon Jude may have somehow gotten wind of it too. Other than those three, though, who is in the know is beyond me.

A: And if I were to tell any social circle about it, forget about nonexistent trust, even that would crumble away, no?

Kate: ...Then is that to say the people in that pub, and the people whom you refer to as your ‘friends’ are also in the know?

Alfons: Ahha! Hardly. I don’t reveal more than absolutely necessary. And that goes both ways as well.

A: Things like reality only interfere with convenience.

(...Oh?)

Come to think of it, why did I reveal my background so honestly to her like that?

Kate: ...If so,

K: why did you tell me all this then?

She voiced the question that popped into my mind.

Alfons: Hmm... I wonder, now why did I.........?

(If I understood the ways of my own heart, giving an immediate answer to the question of ‘why’ would be a simple feat, but alas.)

What was thought to be there was nowhere to be seen, and conversely, what was thought to be nowhere was, in actuality, there.

And to me——I had little energy to look deeply into the thing called my heart.

After all, I was well aware that there would’ve been nothing good in there.

Alfons: ...That is a great question. One whose answer I know as well as you.

(There’s no need to give Kate the truth,)

(and thinking about it will yield nothing in return.)

Alfons: If I had to guess, though, perhaps it’s because you nearly moved me to tears, having followed me all the way out to such a place, I felt like telling you?

So I gave whatever answer I thought of before turning to the window, where the silhouette of London at night flew by, vaguely melted into the darkness.

All of a sudden, Kate, who had just been quiet, sucked in a breath.

Kate: I’ve decided to stop trying to look for your weakness on the sly.

Alfons: ...Come again now?

I turned my gaze next to me, where she was looking at me, with her usual straightforward eyes.

Kate: Because more than your weaknesses, I’m interested to know more about your true feelings.

K: I was thinking... I would like to get to know you better.

(.........) (O_O)

Kate: That’s why, I think if it meant I could know more about you...

K: I... wouldn’t mind becoming your ‘exclusive fairytale keeper.’

Alfons: ...Well, I’ll be.

(Perhaps, the reason I opened up about my background——)

(Was it because she was able to say such foreign-sounding words like ‘I will face you to the fullest’ and whatnot to my face?)

(Maybe it’s because I was hit with such foolish honesty.)

Kate’s expression seemed bright, and seeing that, my body seemed to tickle a smile out of me from the inside.

(How pitiful you are, Miss Kate.)

(Though it pains me to say, I don’t have an ounce of intention of reciprocating the sentiment.)

(But, if this means your mind will be filled to the brim with thoughts of me... then it’s all the more convenient for me.)

(By all means, may you dance atop the palm of my hand to the best of your ability.)

Alfons: If that’s the case, would it be safe to say that you would accept me doing these kinds of things with you?

Kate: ? What do you mean, ‘these kinds of thi’——

I closed the distance between us, my face approaching her, and Kate’s shoulders shook, understanding my intentions,

Kate: No, that’s... this and that are different.

Her face completely red, she pushed her palm on my mouth.

Alfons: ...Hehe.

(As always, you’re awfully inept at resisting, aren’t you.)

Kate: Eek...!?

I licked her palm, and with a cute cry, my mouth was free from her hands.

Alfons: Was it not the case that you were hoping to grasp my weaknesses because you were unable to avoid things like this, or am I wrong?

Kate: I-I mean, I would be able to prevent it as long as you didn’t touch the back of my neck.

Alfons: So you say, but I do find it doubtful you were able to avoid what I did now?

I placed my hand next to her legs across from myself.

I leaned forward, staring at her from a point-blank distance.

Alfons: Oh, yes, come to think of it, when we did naughty things at the back of the pub, I hadn’t used any of my abilities.

A: And yet as far as I recall, you still became loose and wet here, no?

Kate: T-that... I’m pretty sure it was all your fault.

Alfons: And why is that?

Kate: Because you frequent such strange places... it’s all on you.

(Aha, as it should.)

Alfons: Then, in this case, whose fault is it?

Kate: ——mn...!

I grasped at her defenseless wrists and stole her lips.

Kate: Mngh... mn——

I pulled her toward me, and Kate, whose eyes were wide open, closed tightly.

Kate: ah... ngh...!

My tongue through the gap of her lips intertwined with hers,

and her arms went limp, her body relaxing.

When I licked her upper jaw, a cute noise came out from her nose.

Alfons: Perhaps the fault lies with the shock of having seen something so strange, or perhaps it’s because of the shaking of the carriage...

A: If you wish for these kinds of explanations, I could give you these all day.

A: And if you so dislike the idea that you will lose your dignity if you don’t resist,

A: then I will not mind at all if you aaalways feign resistance.

As if ashamed of the anticipation, she closed her legs as I stroked her thighs,

and I slowly lifted up the hem of her skirt that was over her trembling knees

Kate: Hah... ah, ngh... no...

(Even though your entire body is practically saying ‘I feel good’?)

Alfons: Since this relationship will end after only a month... let us enjoy ourselves, Miss Kate.

A: After all——you do so love pleasurable things like this, do you not?

Kate: N-no, I... I don’t...

Her breaths were short and restless as she tried her hardest to deny it. Such a sight held its own charm.

(Indeed——you don’t, yes?)

(After all, the reason you became this way in the first place was aaall because of me.)

(That’s all it has to be.)

Kate: ah... n-no, we can’t do this... not in a carriage...

Alfons: ...Then, where can we do this?

Kate: Ah——

Alfons: Your bed, perhaps? That said... I do find myself wondering if you will be able to hold yourself back until then?

Kate: ah... I-I...

Her lips half-open, I gently kissed her, sealing away any excuses.

Alfons: Shh... there is no need to give me a clear-cut answer.

A: When all is over and done with, you can simply blame it all on me. Then you won’t have to worry, yes?

(What is true, and what is not... let’s become so good that such things become trivial.)

I wouldn’t step too far. And I wouldn’t let anyone step too far either.

It was a convenient relationship just to give ourselves over to pleasure.

(That is all it needs to be between us.)

For some reason, the sight of her pouting profile popped up in the back of my mind, before fading away.

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masterlist🪞 ╱ ko-fi ☕️ ╱ comms 🤍

꒰ ִ ֺ ⊹ @ tags🏷️ ⊹ ֺ ִ ꒱ @drachonia @.comment, send an ask off anon, or dm to be added or removed!

[maylalupa]

In the heart of Agrabah, where sun-soaked streets wound between markets bursting with vibrant colors, a grand palace loomed above the dusty pathways. Within its walls, Jafar was preparing to enter a new chapter of his life. Today, he was no longer just the Sultan’s grocery boy; he was the Royal Vizier, a title that echoed with power and authority.

As he stood before the mirror in his modest chamber, Jafar adjusted the elegant fabric of the new outfit gifted to him by his beloved twin sister, Nasira. Crafted from deep blue silk, adorned with intricate gold embroidery that shimmered under the flickering candles, the ensemble was reminiscent of the attire worn by their late father, a man Jafar had only come to know through tales and faded memories.

Nasira had burst into his quarters earlier that morning, her bright eyes sparkling with pride. “Look at you!” she had exclaimed with enthusiasm. “Didn’t I tell you, you look exactly like Father! He was wrong to give me his costume; you wear it better than I ever could.”

With a playful swish of her arm, she presented him with the finely tailored garments, the scent of jasmine lingering on the silk. “Your promotion should be celebrated with a gift,” she insisted, her voice rich with affection. “Keep the clothes to remind that incompetent Sultan you’re no longer his grocery boy!”

Jafar smiled warmly, feeling a mixture of gratitude and a twinge of sorrow. It was true that his rise to power had come at a cost. He had spent years among the common folk, enduring ridicule and disdain, his hard work overshadowed by the dismissive attitude of Sultan Ahmed. But now, dressed in this outfit, he felt the weight of those years lift away, replaced by a sense of purpose that surged through his veins.

As he stepped out into the sun, the fabric flowed around him like water, reflecting the changing tides of his fate. The streets of Agrabah seemed to greet him anew; vendors paused to bow as he walked past, their faces lighting up with recognition. “Vizier Jafar!” they called out, some bowing their heads in respect, others whispering in awe. The same streets that once echoed with laughter and scorn now sang his name like a melody.

It was a day of celebration, though not without its challenges. The palace bore the weight of an elaborate banquet in his honor, and Jafar braced himself for the gathering of the kingdom's elite. He felt the palatial walls looming over him, whispers and eager eyes waiting to scrutinize his every move. Would they accept him? Could he shed the chains of his past?

As the festivities began, he entered the grand hall clad in his new garb, feeling the eyes of nobles upon him like a thousand daggers. He straightened his back and lifted his chin, channeling the spirit of their father who had once ruled with wisdom. “Let today mark a new chapter for our kingdom!” he announced, his voice steady, filling the vast room with newfound confidence. “No longer shall I be seen as merely a grocery boy, but as a servant to the people and a trusted advisor to our Sultan. Together, we will steer Agrabah toward a brighter future!”

The hall erupted in applause, and Jafar's heart swelled with pride. He spotted Nasira in the corner, her eyes gleaming with tears of joy, a proud smile upon her lips. It was in that moment he realized that his sister had always believed in him, even when the world had not.

As the evening wore on, tales were shared, laughter filled the air, and somewhere in the distance, the call to prayer echoed across the sky. The night was alive with a spirit of renewal. Jafar now understood that while he wore the mantle of power as the Royal Vizier, it was the love of family, the support from his sister, and the willingness to uplift his people that would truly guide him on his journey forward.

And so, in that vibrant city of Agrabah, Jafar vowed to wield his new title not as a weapon, but as a tool for change. With Nasira by his side, he would not only be a leader for the present but a beacon of hope for the future, forever inspired by the memories of their father and the strength of a sister's love.

Didn’t I tell you, you look exactly like father! He was wrong to give me his costume, you wear it better than I ever could. Your promotion should be celebrated with a gift.. keep the clothes to remind that incompetent sultan you’re no longer his grocery boy!

[biibini]

Hi! I was wondering if you could try out headcanons for Modern Mizu, but Y/N would be a singer songwriter who like playing guitar and stuff lol, doesn't matter if Y/N would be famous or not, it's completely fine if it doesn't really fit your interests i had another writer try this out i just wanted to see your take on it because i love your writing style and how your portray Mizu <3

modern!mizu x singer!reader (request)

tags: reader in indie rock band, college!au, modern au, singer reader, banter banter banta, drinking, taigen being frat brother at sigma chi since that’s the modern equivalent of the shindo dojo, random bandmate names , mizu with pretty eyes, sweet modern mizu i just love her sm

a/n: thank u to those who voted! i was struggling how to write this since i’ve seen a lot of bassist!mizu. i’ve never been asked the reverse :0

singer!reader is a part of an indie rock band called across oceans at mizu’s college. the title is a loose term, but you make it work.

mizu never heard of her or her band until ringo and akemi brought mizu to another typical “rager” (coined by taigen). she knows what typically happens at these parties, the usual frat dj aka a glorified person on aux, people drunk dancing, someone playing fein or mo bamba that gets the house shaking. what mizu doesn’t expect is an actual band: drums, keyboard, bassist, and a very pretty girl on the mic.

singer!reader didn’t expect this gig to ever follow through. it was the first time a frat brother asked for you to play, especially from sigma chi, one of the biggest fraternity houses on campus. it was an odd request when one of your band members brought it up, but nonetheless, your band accepted. a gig is a gig and if was better than some random stage.

“So you’re telling me, our next gig, could probably potentially be Sigma Chi? The Sigma Chi?”, you question, appalled with the request.

Sigma Chi was a completely different demographic from your usual sets. You didn’t play any popular songs besides an Artic Monkey, Her’s or a TV Girl song here and there.

Your keyboardist shrugs, “Look, a guy in my class asked me if I was a part of Across Oceans and if we could play at their next party. Apparently, it was one of the brother’s girlfriend’s birthday that night, and they’re more into indie pop and rock so…”

“Who was the guy anyway?”, your drumist interrupted.

“Some guy named Tiger or Tyler Ren, I don’t know.”

You huffed in frustration.

A small band such as yours don’t really have the best turn outs at your college, unless a lot of people you know come and bring their best energy in support.

Why waste time for a bored audience?

“Point is, we have a gig and they’re paying well.”

“How well?”, you asked, debating whether or not to take the unusual gig.

It couldn’t be that high, right?

“Better than the Four Fangs Bar.”, he answered.

Your eyes widen as your guitarist whistle to the number. Never knew frats threw money around like that.

You leaned back in your chair, anticipating your bandmates’ reactions. You weren’t opposed, but… pay is pay, right?

At this time, you guys are typically practicing a new song or hashing out an upcoming setlist. Instead, silence fills the room, all band members in thought. You hear the quiet hum of the A/C mixes with the murmurs from students in the hallway, waiting for any objections.

“Fuck it, let’s do the gig.”, you announce.

singer!reader isn’t the official leader… but when the rest of the members can’t make a decision, they end up turning to you as the decision maker.

singer!reader , the main singer and songwriter of the band. it gets difficult balancing school and this, but you make it work with your schedule. besides, what’s better than the flow of your voice playing along to the strums of your guitar?

singer!reader ‘s band name originates from the fact that your bassist, Paul, and keyboardist, Janine, were international students: one from across the pacific, and the other across the atlantic. regardless of their origin, they were one of the best players your drumist, Owen, found.

the night of the gig, singer!reader and your bandmates meet the host, a frat brother named taigen. he’s nice and welcoming. was he a little egotistical? maybe. but was he just happy to help a brother? yeah, even if they didn’t know too many of your songs… or the genre itself…

however, they do request a song, his friend’s girlfriend’s favorite song: lover’s rock by tv girl. across oceans has basically perfected that song due to it being a popular request.

“Could you play my girlfriend’s favorite song?”, the frat brother asks.

You nod, “Sure, what song is it?”

“Lover’s Rock by TV Girl? Did I get the name right?”

You hear your band members sigh. The one song they know all too well.

“Did I get it wrong? Bro, I’m so sorry-”

“No no no, it’s fine.”, you interject, “It’s perfect! We have that song down.”

“For real bro?“, he says in awe.

“For. Real.”, your Janine answers, putting an open hand in front of the frat brother.

You watch the guy go in for a dap up, patting your Janine’s back a little too hard. He pulls back and waves goodbye.

“I’m so hyped, bro. Let’s go Across Oceans!”, he yells as he goes inside the house.

You hear your drumist, Owen, scoff, teasing your band member, “Let’s set up, bruh.”

“Hey! Without me, we wouldn’t be here!”, she objects.

“He’s right, sorry bro.”, you tease back at him.

“Hey!”

as the party starts, singer!reader plays some more popular indie songs along the realms of beebadobee, the marias, mac de marco, clairo, etc. it’s not so bad, considering that the students are actively cheering and whistling after every song.

your band plays along with the positive energy of the crowd, as some drunk people sing along, jump to the beat, even scream the lyrics with singer!reader. it’s such a blast being able to relay the same vibe with an interactive crowd, despite the amount of alcohol they’ve consumed.

singer!reader may have also consumed a cup or two of beer, kudos to taigen for keeping the band “hydrated”.

with every song that played, singer!reader watches the house’s backyard fill up, almost to the brim. watching a sea of partygoers vibe to the songs satisfied you, hell, it energized you to keep singing, despite the slight slur of your words.

as singer!reader watched the crowd, a few have stood out. there’s always the usual non-listener here and there, a couple or two pairs making out by the house walls, and the one that’s typically wannabe-cool and nonchalant.

now those type of people are the best to watch, slowly get their attention with eye-contact as you finding the right song to play, hoping to get them further interested.

and singer!reader did spot one of those in the crowd, whilst playing looking out for you again by joy again. you don’t remember recalling her name, yet she looked so familiar.

“It’s just the way you’re glancing at me…”, you sing into the mic, hoping to get another sight of the girl again.

“Something about you just makes me feel guilty for liking you…”

You finally spot her far in the back with her raven hair up in a bun, standing next to a guy, much bigger than her and completely jamming out to your band. On the other hand, she’s just blankly staring, carefully watching your performance, as her hands are in her navy jacket’s pockets.

“When you’re with him…”

You make eye-contact with the girl again, getting a chance to look at her features more. You watch as the little curl of the strand of her dark jet-black hair waving against the breeze.

“When you’re with him.”

The way her eyes glisten a deep ocean blue from absurd amount of fairy lights a frat house can put up keeps your attention on her, never wavering.

“This is a long song for a girl who will never know its about her,”

She smiles gently, close enough to notice but too far for you to call out. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks. You tell your mind to blame it on the alcohol.

“I know it’s pretty stupid, but I’m much too shy to tell her…

A soft grin stays on her face, now fully listening to your singing. Her blue eyes fixate on yours, never breaking the connection. You wouldn’t admit it on stage, but god it felt good getting their attention.

“She’s beaming with that smile, all the while…”

You smile back, nodding to the rhythm.

God, you could get lost in those eyes.

Thin, soft, yet filled with so much depth the more you stare into the ocean blue orbs.

“I’m all choked up on my own throat,”

You watch her head mimic yours, her little curl bopping along to the music.

“I guess there is noooo hope.”

singer!reader ‘s band takes a break, letting the member’s fight who wants control of the aux. you let them beef.

on the other hand, singer!reader needed to find that girl, stat. red solo cup in hand, you rush to where you last saw her but found no traces. that is, until, you spot her alone in the kitchen.

“You go to these often?”, you say, getting her attention.

She walks closer to you, leaning on the kitchen counter next to you, as people start to fill the kitchen. She shrugs, sipping on the bright blue liquid in her cup. You also sip on your cup, drinking up the mysterious alcohol.

“It’s not my usual scene. My friends kinda, uh, dragged me here.”, she said.

“Ah… I see.”, you say as you looked down into your cup, hiding your gaze from the girl.

You don’t know what was poured in your cup, but it needed to hit you in the head right now.

“But I really liked your set.”, she says, while your head peeps up.

“It’s not the usual stuff they play here, but I’m sure it was because of Ise.”

“That’s the name of the birthday girl?”

Her eyes widened, dryly laughing at your response,“You didn’t know??”

“She didn’t ask us! Her boyfriend’s friend asked us to come here. He was practically begging.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. We thought he was pranking us or something. His name was like, Tiger Ren, or something like that.”

“Ok, you’ve got to be pranking me.”, she jokingly accuses you, chuckling at the accusation.

“I swear I’m not! I promise!”, you defend yourself, pulling your free hand up as if you got caught red handed.

The blue-eyed girl inches closer to you, smiling as she whispers in your ear, “I know Taigen and he’d rather kill himself than beg.”

Her breath tickles your ear, smiling along as well. You pull her closer, her arm next to yours, as if to share a forbidden secret.

“Well, I’m glad he didn’t jump.”

Both of you laugh together, side by side, shoulders against one another. You feel the warmth of the alcohol heat up your face, making you feel light and giggly. You lean on the counter to stay stable.

“I guess you learn something new everyday.”, you laugh. You tell her your name.

You watch her lean close to your ear again, her pink lips inches away from touching your flushed cheek.

“I guess you really do. My name is Mi-”

You hear your name get called out from the backyard.

“It’s birthday song time!”, Owen called out.

Shit.

“I’ll be out there in a sec!”

“I gotta get back up there but I’ll see you around, Miiii?”

“Mizu.”

“See you, Mizu!”

You push yourself out of the crowded kitchen yelling, “Who’s ready to sing for the birthday girl?”

The whole room cheers in unison, pushing themselves outside with you.

singing happy birthday to a half drunk sorority girl and an even drunker pack of sorority sisters and brothers was a sight to see. after playing another set, your band packs up for the night.

singer!reader never got anything besides a name: mizu. after ise’s birthday bash, your band got very popular with the frats and other clubs that filled your schedule with gigs and performances. excited, you took them all.

with every college gig you played at, you always noticed the same blue-eyed girl at the back, the little curl in her bangs bouncing to rhythm. with every break, you would find the chance to talk to her again.

with every break, singer!reader relished in the small talks you would have with mizu about school, life, new songs, anything. every conversation was physically close, every touch fluttering your heart, the red in your cheeks flaring up.

singer!reader blamed it on the alcohol and hope mizu doesn’t see through it.

singer!reader and mizu swap spotifys, sharing music and playlists mixed with each of your own tastes.

Mizu 🎧

do you have spotify?

yeah

wsp?

[Invite Link to Create a Blend]

you should click on this hehe

istg if u dox me…

aw u dont trust me ?? :(

no.

boooooo 👎🍅

besides being a supporter of your sets, singer!reader finds herself asking mizu and some friends to come over and watch across oceans rehearse so everything sounds clear and perfect, especially before a big party. it usually goes well for the most part, except the instances when you get a glimpse of mizu and forget a lyric or two. its typically paired with banter between your band mates.

You hear your keyboardist, Janine, groan your name.

“Girl, the lyrics!”

“Sorry!”

The blood rushes to your cheeks, showing off your embarrassment.

“It’s okay, I think I was off-key anyways.”, your bassist, Paul, claims. He starts fine-tuning his bass, focusing on the instrument. As for you, you look back on the lyrics online, hoping to ingrain the words before this week’s gig.

Fortunately, it was another high paying gig from a sorority. Unfortunately, they were requesting Chappell Roan and there were barely any sheet music for her songs, let alone her song Casual.

“Okay, gameplan. We finish the main chorus done and we can finish the final bridge and outro tomorrow.”, you claim.

Your band agrees.

“Just remember, it’s two ‘Is it casual now?’ and then its the duplicates.”, your keyboardist stresses.

“Yes Janine, we know you love her.”, Owen sighs.

“No hard feelings to Y/N, I just wanted to set the record straight.”, Janine protests, reading her hands on the keys.

You hear Paul scoff, “As if you are.”

Janine’s jaw drops, shocked as if Paul just dropped a bomb on her face.

“Says you, you fruit!”

“What did you just call me??”

“You heard me!”

“Hey!”, you interject, clapping your hands together, “You guys can have a fruit-off after this. Let’s just get this done please.”

singer!reader is thankful that despite their attitudes, they get along with banter and forgiveness at the end of the day.

singer!reader deep down hopes that they don’t kill each other about being called a fruit (fingers crossed).

singer!reader also finds herself inviting mizu over a few times for a listening party aka you writing and practicing songs while she actively listens, maybe critiques, or simply be there doing homework together

singer!reader is surprised to find more people asking if the band played x song or y song. although most requests come from popular songs, you implement a few into the rehearsal mix.

after finishing a set at one of taigen’s so-called ragers, your band packs up for the dj coming soon. although this meant the end of your set, taigen agreed that the band should stay afterwards and enjoy the party while it lasted. it was before midterms after all.

once your band finished packing up the equipment into your keyboardist’s van, the four of you were left with a decision: stay at the party or leave. as nice as it is for taigen to invite you guys back to play, it was getting late and your drumist had a shift tomorrow morning.

until you hear janine call your name from the van.

“Are you heading home too?”, you pout, cup in hand.

“Yeah, I figured your girlfriend wants to talk with you again.”, Janine giggles.

“For the last time, Mizu’s just a friend!”

“And I’m totally not delusional!”, Paul teases, mocking your voice.

You laugh nervously, checking your surroundings for any sight of her. After the set, you know she tends to disappear into the kitchen or a hallway upstairs.

“Anyways, lover girl, we’ll let you shoot your shot.”

“I-“

“Ah ah ah,” Janine waves a finger in front of you as she starts the car, “Don’t miss!”

singer!reader tries to find her at her usual spot in the kitchen. you end up finding her on a balcony upstairs, overseeing the houses next to the frats. only a dim porch light reveals mizu’s shadow, quietly sipping a drink in her cup.

“There you are.”, you greet, sliding open the balcony door.

“Heyy.”, Mizu greets back, softly smiling at you.

“You weren’t in the kitchen like you always are.”

“Just felt like getting fresh air. Some peace and quiet from the noise.”

You chuckle as you hear the rhythm and bass of the DJ set vibrate the house.

“I don’t blame you.”

You look out, swishing your cup with whatever mixer Ise poured in your cup. You’re unsure but you take a sip, hoping it’s strong enough to keep you sane around Mizu.

After many gigs, you’ve seen her and met with her, talking in between sets, and after sets before you leave. Although it’s short and sweet, you can’t help wanting to know more. Unintentionally, the thought of her consumes your mind: the way her voice gets raspy after a drink or two as you talk about your favorite artists, her touch behind your back when you’re trying to get out of a packed room, the way her eyes seem to shine sapphire every time you locked eyes with her while you’re playing.

Unfortunately, your band members weren’t complete idiots and tease you at every college gig. They come from a good place, but your mind can’t stop thinking about her voice when you’re trying to focus on writing a new song.

You try to drown your busy mind with another sip. The liquid goes down smooth with a peach aftertaste.

“Oh god, did they put soju in this?”, you cry out.

“Maybe. You know how Ise likes her drinks.”

You stare at your cup, the liquid filling to the halfway point. Mizu puts down hers on the table, holding onto something that crumples from her grasp.

Mizu steps closer to you and hands you a small bouquet of tulips, a delicate mix of pinks, whites, and reds tied together with newspaper. Its barely visible but Mizu’s hand was shaking from the nerves. And maybe a little wobbly from the alcohol.

“For your successful set and for surviving midterms as well.”

In shock, you accept the gesture, letting her place the bouquet in your hands. It smells so sweet, a contrasting smell from the puffs of nicotine, sweet, and strong alcohol downstairs. It was the first time you’ve received flowers on the behalf of your band’s talent and success, let alone, surviving school.

“Mizu, this is so sweet. You didn’t have to.”, you say, looking down at the flowers. You feel the blood rush to your cheeks, tinting them red. Thankfully, it’s barely visible from the dim lighting.

“I wanted to. Because… well…”

“Because?”

“I… um…”, she stammered,

You hear the rhythm of her breath quicken. You look up to find her inches away, biting the inner corner of her lip, her eyes finding the right words.

You pull a hand out to Mizu’s arm, comforting her.

“It’s okay, Mizu, thank you for—”

“Sorry, I just… can’t stop watching you when you perform.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you.”, you slip out,

Both of you look at each other with a stunned look, dumbfounded at both of your tipsy confessions.

Mizu pulls you close, moving the bouquet out of the way, as her lips are merely inches away from yours. You were fine with the closeness when it came to whispering, but this was different.

“May I?”

You nod, as the gap closed between the two of you. The taste of peach hits your lips, as you feel the softness of her lips push against yours.

Mizu pulls back, her breath staggering against yours. You place your cup to the side before reaching for her cheek, pulling her even closer to you, sealing the gap with a kiss once again.

You thank Ise for whatever shot(s) of liquid courage she put in both of your drinks.