#if this flops literally it didn't ever happen so <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[souryogurt64]

pete's evil book had a cut abortion subplot?

Okay this is not PROVEN this is speculative all in my head but there is a character named John Miller who becomes the narrator's best friend. Shortly after we are introduced to John Miller he announces to the narrator that he is on the run because he dipped out on his girlfriend when she got pregnant and the girlfriend had a miscarriage because of him.

The Disaster literally never brings this up again and the narrator has virtually no emotional reaction or inner monologue about this. They also never discuss this again. However. A billion pages later, whenever the narrator is about to kill himself or doing something insane, he starts talking about John Miller's Dead Baby. He specifically calls it a dead baby three different times. I know that losing a child you want is like very terrible and different from an abortion. However. This is a really bizarre way and very strong language for the narrator to describe something that happened to the ex girlfriend of someone he just met, especially when John Miller was not physically there when she lost the baby and heard about this after the fact.

The other half of this is that there is also a very awful alleged journal entry from Pete Wentz's alleged secret online diaries. It's not clear what exactly it is and it's not completely explicit but it appears to be about a girl getting pregnant, possibly on purpose, with a baby, probably aborting it, and faking a miscarriage, then telling him she did this. This is like not an okay way to talk at all period especially in context of his dating life and how this girl was probably like 19 max

Either he 1) wrote this about a real woman, which is abhorrent and unforgivable and he should rot in hell 2) is getting high and writing fanfiction about made up women doing this to him for fun, which is pathetic or 3) this was cut from his horrible book because You Cannot Publish This. It's probably some combination of the above but I feel interpreting this as from his horrible flop book is the most charitable explanation for why this exists.

Also, Pete's writing is really repetitive because like F. Scott Fitzgerald said, writers tend to have one story they tell over and over in a million different ways but a lot of things mentioned in this like all hotels being the same and "No, my plane didn't crash this time" remind me of parts of the book, and there's a bit about a pharmacist before this that reminds me of the book as well.

The book is also frequently criticized for having no plot (true) and there's no real reason or explanation given for why the narrator and his girlfriend are not working out and why they're fighting so much beyond her wanting to go to college and he .... doesn't like this for some reason but also has no desire to commit to her. It's also semi confirmed the book was supposed to have a successful suicide and Fall Out Boy's management said no, and both Pete Wentz and the ghostwriter seem to have a lot of feelings about this book and the editing process so I wonder if that wasn't the only thing cut.

So yes, I am a Pete Wentz's Horrible Book Had a Pro Life Subplot truther. When I was 15 and read this book for the first time I vividly remember reading all the dead baby lines and knowing something was not quite right. Also if this plot ever existed it was literally the Zootopia Abortion Comic before the Zootopia Abortion Comic existed

[hearts-hunger]

Welcome to the 2023 GVF Fic Writers Halloween Event! Prompts are below the cut, but first, some info about this very spooky affair.

٭ The rules are simple: pick a prompt from the list below and write a fic about it! The prompts range from particularly Halloween-y to just general autumnal vibes, and you're welcome to riff off any of them in any way you choose. On your post, please note which prompt (or prompts) you picked for your fic!

٭ This event is open to all GVF writers, whether you're a seasoned vet or a first-time writer! If you're a reader, show your love for GVF writers by liking their fics, reblogging them, and commenting in the reblog or even just in the tags. All fics from this event will be reblogged by me and added to a masterlist that will be linked in my bio!

٭ Fics can be written for any and all pairings — x reader, slash, platonic, x oc, multi, whatever you like! It's also open to any length fics (blurbs, oneshots, series) and all genres, from vampire sexy to candy sweet to scary movie spooky and everything in between. Please make sure to clearly tag any potential triggers in your fic — we want this event to be accessible and fun for everyone. Please also use a readmore in any fics that are longer than blurb length, just to keep the dash tidy.

٭ Absolutely no negativity will be tolerated, whether from readers, writers, or anyone else. This is a community-building event, and if you're not here to have fun and be kind to others, don't be here at all.

٭ Tag your fics with #gvfhalloweenfics. To make sure I don't miss your fic, please tag me (@hearts-hunger) so I can reblog your fic and add it to the masterlist!

٭ The deadline is technically October 31st, but I'm happy to add fics to the masterlist any time before or after Halloween if your creative energy is grooving or lagging. You can also write as many fics as you want!

٭ Now that I've talked your ear off, let me say one last thing before we get to the prompts: my asks (with anon) and dms are always open for any questions about this event! Please reblog this post to get the word out, and tag any writers you think might be interested! Happy writing, and happy Halloween!

1. carnival haunted house 2. real haunted house 3. pumpkin patch 4. apple orchard 5. scary movie night 6. campfire ghost stories 7. baking halloween treats 8. carving pumpkins 9. trick or treating 10. decorating for halloween 11. making costumes 12. putting on halloween makeup 13. halloween bar crawl 14. ghost hunting 15. monster/ghost/witch au 16. county fair 17. halloween party 18. exploring a graveyard 19. adopting a black cat 20. playing with a ouija board 21. buying halloween decor 22. dark magic 23. a walk through the woods 24. cosy coffee date 25. camping trip 26. hay ride 27. local oktoberfest 28. cabin vacation 29. halloween/autumn wedding 30. starting a new halloween tradition 31. fic based on a halloween song

[mikansei]

and some days i come up with a whole ass plot, an entire OC family for a character complete with personalities, motivations & conflicts, how they navigate said conflicts now that they're ostensibly adults (but they never really talked through it in the first place so it's still looming) and how to make such mundane drama compelling & believable when this character's partner is mr. my-entire-family-was-horribly-murdered and like excuse me but what the fuck. where did this come from. where was this energy during yesterday's Em Dash Incident

some days i write 1k words in a sitting. some days i open the document, move the em dash in 1 (one) sentence and close the document

[loveislandthegame]

thoughts on today's volume...i don't even know where to begin, this sucked and i'm honestly just appalled 😭 FB somehow managed to make a reunion worse than boat party

FB is trying way too hard to make season 5 iconic, and it's just not happening. season 5 isn't bad in a camp way, it's just bad. a sensible company would've shelved that misogynistic, biphobic, & racist gaslighting-fest and apologised

and this is a major problem throughout the entire volume so i'll just condense it into one thought right here: whoever wrote this clearly doesn't understand their playerbase. absolutely nobody cares about these unemployed messy flops hooking up with eachother, sexting, cheating—shawn forcing max to sleep in the hotel foyer so he can have mechanic roleplay sex in their shared room ???—and whatever other nonsense they're doing. i was not gagged, i was gagging

i didn't take the diamond scene to upstage sophie or whatever because i don't care, but of course we're still forced to kiss somebody else that's not our partner for the sake of some corny drama. i wish MC could've walked out of this villa the moment liam decided to recommend a "kissing game," like she's not in a whole committed relationship

then we get a podcast challenge i guess . at first i was happy to see theo, only for him to immediately blow MC off because he's ... a little hurt ? even though he was fine in the last volume ? literally everyone except claudia, bea, and tyler was treating MC like garbage this entire reunion. (once again, MC doesn't have any friends . just enemies and people tryna smash)

several drawn out scenes of pure agony later, and my bby girl bella finally showed up !! she's the only saving grace of this pile of shit, and at this point i'm just glad they didn't ruin her too

(RIP to the finn girlies, at least bella & my s6 MC are happily together ❤️)

bea confessed to MC, i still picked claudia . this would've been the perfect moment for an "I love you" from your chosen LI but instead they ask to move in. Lmao

claudia my love, you deserved so much better than this reunion </3

for the first time ever i straight up skipped a group hug option, that's how you know i really was done with these mfs

i cannot find the words that could properly describe how horrible this reunion was. a complete dumpster fire of an ending to an otherwise okay-ish season. to top it all off we have confirmation that season 9 is dropping in three weeks. FB is not even giving season 8 some time to marinate, stew, simmer, or whatever. you get what i mean ? (tbh more like rot...😭)

i need a nap after this. venus out 🫡

[misfitclassismyfreetherapy]

Clara Appreciation Post

.

.

~

I'm making this as contribution to Mairuma Manga's chapter 304

I'm surprised no one said shit on how Clara saved the day with her optimistic and fun personality. Honestly it was unexpected but also unsurprising and comforting that Clara was the one who stopped them. I genuinely thought Ameri was the one who would interrupt but you know, nevermind.

Also it makes sense in a way, Nishi didn't want to make Clara feel left out in the situation so she dropped the bomb (cliffhanger) on us so we would want to remember and look forward to what happened next and that's when Clara came in. The love trio does have to stick together afterall.

So without further a do here are 5 things I love about Clara Valac! Our adorable little charming playful demon!

Clara's amazing nicknames

These three being the dorks that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Like literally Azz-azz and Irumachi sounds so cute wtf- and like other nicknames Eggy-sensei. It reflects her personality well and actually makes her unique. ( I want to say quirky but it sounds weird so no. )

Her voice actor is also delivering her lines incredibly accurate also her voice actor is also known to voice Valac's entire family. Now that's what I called fucking talent. Since we're getting off-topic, let's move on to the next one.

2. Clara's overlooked selflessness.

I hate seeing Clara cry but I have to like put an image to showcase her selfishness.

You know how the netherworld always say that there are rarely other demons who would care for other people than themselves? If Clara was selfish, she wouldn't care for the other demons consent and she could easily force them to play with her.

But no, she wanted people to play with her with consent. She wants the other demon have fun as much as she has. There are many things that she could do but didn't because she cares for other demons feelings. She is a rare demon that wants to play and both side to have fun.

3. Clara has no doubt that Azz-kun and Iruma loves her.

Her eyes shine with utter confidence.

I don't need to explain much just-

Read this amazing post.

Totally not because I'm lazy. Also credits to @somayants for this masterpiece  🛐 .

4. Clara's unique family.

Shit I forgot the fucking twins-and the fucking brother-

Adorable as fuck. Wholesome as fuck. Cute as fuck.

Also her mum is such a MILF /j

Basically Clara's emotional support team besides the misfit class.

That's all I have to say.

Now I saved my best for last...

5. Clara's patience and endurance.

This is just adorable-

Clara's patience and endurance is honestly so admirable. I kinda lost count on the times, she endured being left out. We know well that Clara loves Iruma and Azz-kun so much that she doesn't want to ever get separated from them.

So the fact that she endured the clinginess of hers and have patience is so amazing of her. She truly does act like the role of the big sister sometimes. Honestly this is probably one of the few things that Clara does better than Azz-kun because let's be honest, he wouldn't last two weeks of separation from Iruma ( without training that is.).

.

.

~

ENDING

You can tell I lost motivation halfway through that but I really want to finish this so people could appreciate Clara more for who she is, and we wouldn't want to change her for anything.

Also if through chapter 304 I made this as a #ClaraValacAppreciation post. I just made that hashtag myself cause I'm an antisocial idiot.

But if you want to join in on the appreciation of Clara you can! By using this hashtag.

(This is probably gonna flop but I honestly don't care.)

.

.

.

~

~Claire has logged off~

[hadeslegacyhephgirl]

Don't leave me

'Nico's fading!' Will shot up from his desk and ran outside toward the shout. 'WHAT?!' Kayla raced up to him 'Will, thank the gods! We've been looking all over for you - Nico's fading - it's bad -'

Will didn't hear any more and his body had taken over before he knew what was happening, he'd found Nico, pushing through the crowds surrounding the Ghost King and collapsing at is hide, a healing hymn already at his lips, surveying the damage.

Nico was smoky - a literal shadow. His lips were blue, his skin paler that normal and all the grass around him was dead and withering as waves of pure death and darkness radiated off him.

'Where's Coach Hedge? Reyna?'

'Coach Hedge is away with his family - and we haven't been able to reach Reyna'

Will growled and whipped out his own phone (One of Leo's anti-monster one) and dialled Reyna's emergency number. She picked up after three agonising rings

'Hello?' 'Reyna?' "Yeah?' "Oh, thank the gods. This is Will Solace - Nico's fading - bad-' 'Say no more - I'll be there in one minute. Keep him alive!' 'I'm trying!'

Reyna hung up, and, as promised, arrived in exactly 53 seconds (yes, Will counted) with a flask that Will assumed was the Unicorn Draught

Reyna set to work, and after an agonising 3 minutes and 23 seconds, in which Will had basically destroyed his nails by chewing them, Reyna stood to reveal a still-unconsious but solid Nico.

Will immediately grabbed Nico's shoulder, humming a healing hymn, interrupting himself every so often to whisper a plea

'Stay with me, Nico, come on, please, stay with me'

Eventually, at late evening, Will just couldn't keep going. He was exhausted, tears streaking down his face as he repeated the plea one final time

'Stay with me, Nico, please'

Will closed his eyes, utterly spent, tear tracks drying on his skin.

Then someone grabbed his hand

The persons hand was cold, and small.

Will opened his eyes.

Nico's eyes were open, his lips open to whisper one word

'Always'

It was the most beautiful word Will had ever heard. The shadows were twisting and curling around them. Will quickly turned on his glowing ability.

'No, no shadows for you!'

Then, unable to contain his joy any longer, he pulled the smaller boy into a hug, laying down, Nico on top (they were both exhausted. Let 'em live). Will didn't feel Nico's hands on his face until Nico was kissing him.

(Btw - pre solangelo! First kiss!)

Will was so surprised that he nearly forgot to kiss Nico back, but he did and gods it was the best thing ever.

Nico's lips were soft and chapped, tasting of pomegranite and a slight bit of blood. Will loved it.

Eventually Nico pulled back with a simple

'That was the best welcome back I've ever had' "And hopefully its the last one you need' 'I dunno. If it made you kiss me like that-' 'Then I shall never do so again. You know what this means deathboy-' 'Three days in the infirmary, I know, I know.'

Nico rested his head on Wills chest as the sun set on the horizon.

'I don't want to move'

Will grinned. He loved the soft, sleepy side of Nico.

'Fine. Just this once I can carry you'

Nico hummed, sending vibrations into Wills chest. Will manouvered them so he could stand up, carrying Nico bridal-style to the infirmay, to the bunk unofficially always cleared for Nico. Will laid Nico down and turned to leave. Nico grabbed his hand

'Stay?'

Will grinned

'How could I say no to my favourite patient?' "Mm your cutest patient' "That too'

'I wan't big spoon' "Fiiiiiine' Will flopped onto the bed, allowing Nico to wind his small body around his bigger one. Nico fell asleep quickly, his soft deep breathes sending Will running toward Morpheos himself.

~*~

That night the night-watch, Kayla, peeked into the curtain surrounding Nico's cot and smiled at the soft scene of Nico and Will snuggled close together, smiles on both sleeping faces

[mvshortcut]

Ranking every time the Ten Men get taken down by how cringe fail they are (Part 1)

With 1 being "not too lame, actually" and 10 being "oh my god I have to put the book down and walk away for my own health." This post will include scenes from Books 2 and 3; I'll put the Riddle of Ages stuff in another post.

"But Milk, why on earth are you doing this" well you see I hate the Ten Men (<3) and I love to talk so this works out perfectly. Listen To My Opinions, Boy. Let's get started, shall we?

Book 2: The Perilous Journey

See Garrotte is like the Reynie Muldoon of the Ten Men in that he's so fantastically average (this is a joke don't come for me y'all I love Reynie). This is just a very Average way to get knocked out tbh. And honestly, I've gotta cut Garrotte some slack here. When you think you're on a deserted island, you don't really expect some scarecrow-looking ninja to materialize out of the darkness, hijack your tank boat, and knock you out. 2/10

Crawlings. Oh, darling Crawlings. I'm making the rule now that Crawlings can't score below a 3. He has a base level of cringe fail-ness simply by being Crawlings.

Out of all of the times Crawlings gets knocked out, this is honestly the least embarrassing. None of them really know Milligan's capabilities yet, so this sleight of hand is completely unexpected. Although the "As ugly as you?" exchange occurs immediately after Crawlings wakes up from this one (and that scene in and of itself is embarrassing.) 5/10

Now Sharpe and Crawlings get knocked out (again) later in TPJ but that happens offscreen, so without further ado, let's move onto:

Book 3: The Prisoner's Dilemma

Starting this one off strong with another Crawlings MomentTM. I know he doesn't get knocked out here but I literally could not in good conscience leave it out. Peak cringe fail. Local murderous henchman loses to a four year old with sharp teeth, more at 11. 7/10

I'm gonna be honest at least 70% of this post is gonna be Crawlings. But that isn't my fault now is it?

This is just. Peak Looney Tunes shenanigans. I'm surprised he didn't leave a cartoony indent of his limbs outstretched in the wall. The "humiliating yelp" adds ambiance to the whole scene. 8/10

and another one! honestly this is more impressive on Milligan's part (truly he is insane) and once again, I'm gonna give Crawlings some pity points because who expects their opponent to straight-up grab the electrified wires? The image of his eyebrow all bristly and shocked is very comical and undignified though. 5/10

Back to dear Garrotte. once again painfully average. I desperately need to know if Milligan actually hit him over the head with a ukulele. 2/10

Sharpe coming in strong with possibly the most embarrassing knockout yet. It wasn't enough to be taken down by a boomerang, of all things. He's gotta do these popping-up-and-down shenanigans before a twelve-year-old finally tricks him into knocking himself out with his own handkerchief. I imagine he looks like one of those inflatable dancing tube man things outside the car wash just flopping back and forth. 9/10

When I tell you I literally cheer ever time I read this part. It's what he deserves. "But, honestly, would you fare any better against a bird of prey, Milk?" yes. absolutely. Madge would sense my cool and swag vibes and would not attack me. McCracken simply did not pass the vibe check. SAD. 8/10

Y'know I wish this part wasn't phrased so comically because I burst out laughing ever time I read it even though it's such a tense and upsetting moment. This is SO embarrassing for McCracken though. Imagine at long last winning a tumultuous rooftop battle and it looks like things are FINALLY starting to go your way. only for your opponent to fling himself off a four story building directly on top of you and break all your bones. oof. there's no coming back from that one chief. once again he gets pity points because Milligan is absolutely insane and no one could have seen that coming. 8/10

And, for the grand finale, a guest appearance from Hertz! I would say we're switching things up with a little vehicular manslaughter here, but it isn't Number Two's fault that Hertz ran into her fake ambulance, now is it? It was quite a Choice for him to think he could win a fight against two vehicles, let alone vehicles driven by Rhonda Kazembe and Number Two. "He was terribly annoyed" yea I bet he was. Hertz darling what were you thinking. 6/10

part 2 here!

[namtanlovesfilm]

Which Off role do you think I should watch I have only ever seen his BL work plus his work in Midnight Motel which I loved but I do want to expand my viewing experience of him is there a must watch role of his that you think I should check out? I don't really mind on the genre

so I have made many posts on this, here's me ranking every off role, and here's me recommending my fave offgun straight roles, but I'll make a summary for you :)

GIRL NEXT ROOM: RICHY RICH

light & fun but with great commentary on growing out of generational poverty. krathing & duchess are absolutely one of off's best ships ever with their chemistry & banter, and krathing in general utilizes perfectly off's ability of making the greatest facial expressions ever & being a cutie <3

FABULOUS 30

sadly that show was deleted off of youtube bc gmmtv sucks but it's on dramacool :( the first show to contain both off & mond, but with all due respect off absolutely carried the show. not only is zen an absolute BICON, but his ship with yui was so beautiful & touched on insecurity and intimacy in a very beautiful way imo. definitely one of off's best roles!

I'M TEE ME TOO

I mean, a show with offguntay?? how could it not be adorable! no shade but off definitely carried the show too, maetee is a cross-dressing icon with mommy issues who really shined & stole my heart. that role also puts off's screaming skills to the test LMAO

WOLF

off jumpol going abroad & flirting with all the women?? yup, it happened! this is basically khai from tol if he stayed an asshole lol. this is the first straight role from off I ever watched & I love por so much bc his facial expressions, especially with glasses, are literally the cutest ever! moreover, even though the show wasn't executed the best, the concept is very daring & interesting for the time and it didn't deserve to flop like it did at all. I honestly would recommend it :)

10 YEARS TICKET

so I'm gonna be honest, the more time passes since 10yt the more I realize it wasn't that incredible of a show, even though it's definitely a good show still. and off in it was amazing even though he was pretty withdrawn, but both of his storylines, one involving the mafia & the other involving his grandma with dementia which is a topic that touched me particularly, were amazing, and off did such a good job.

46 DAYS

I legit think 46 days is the funnest romcom ever produced in thailand. it's such a fun, over the top show, with still very great moments. I loved the female friendship in it, I loved that the "perfect" male lead is shown to be more than that, and I absolutely loved the side ship with off & mild (again). pat is probably the most tame & mentally stable off character lol, but he's still very fun & a cutie to watch, especially with mild who's character noina is not too dissimilar from duchess in girl next room. the offmild pairing is just always a pleasure to watch & this whole show is just very fun & lovely :)

xxx

[antihero-writings]

Waving Through the Veil (Ch 1)

Fandom: Dear Evan Hansen (Book and Musical)

Summary: Evan is haunted by Connor. No, literally haunted. His ghost shows up after hearing Evan's lie about the Orchard, and Evan can actually see him. But, as weird as this situation is, maybe this is how they can become real friends after all.

Note: The one thing I’ve always wanted to see from this franchise, ever since first watching the musical, but even more so after reading the book, is the ghost of Connor being able to have a relationship with Evan. So...I decided to write it! This is written in the style of the book, and will probably mostly follow the book, (I even include some passages from it), but I will probably draw from the musical at times too, depending on what portrayal of something I like best. For those of you who have read the book, the fic begins in the middle of the first scene of chapter 9. I hope you enjoy!! If you do, please don't hesitate to leave a comment to let me know!! It's your comments that fics like this going <3

Chapter 1: All we See Are Ghosts

I didn't bother turning the light on as I flopped down on the couch with the signature groan of a man who’s hit rock bottom. Well maybe not rockbottom, but sediment bottom at least. I think we learned about that in science class; it’s where the fossils are get stuck…That’s pretty much how I feel at the moment. 

I'm not sure why I keep reporting back to Jared after every new disaster. I never feel better after our chats. Jared has a way of highlighting my errors so they seem even worse than I first realized.

But I'm so lost right now, sitting alone on the couch in my dark living room. Jared is the only person in the entire world who has even the slightest appreciation for where I am.

I bring Jared up to speed with what happened at the Murphys. We end up texting for a while, and, at this point, my stomach is still churning from the conversation, especially the prospect of making fake emails. Fake emails...to continue the lie I didn't intend to start. 

What is wrong with me? Seriously. Why do I keep fooling myself into thinking that the worst that could happen has already happened? Things always get worse. It's guaranteed. That's how life works. You're born and you keep getting older and grayer and sicker, and no matter what effort you make to reverse the process, you die. Every single time To repeat: worse, worse, worse, and then death. I have a long way to go before the worst. This is only the beginning.

And these emails...I'd be giving them what they want—what they need. I'd be helping them.

It's tempting. It really is. But it's also...sick? I can't keep doing this, deceiving these poor people. I'm not cut out for it.

At one point tonight it felt like I was sweating from my eyes—that's how anxious I was. Had I perspired another drop, I might have mummified. I can't go on like this. I'm all drained out.

I turn my phone over so it's facedown. The light from the screen waves over my cast. The memory of the story I conjured up for the Murphys hits me anew. They were talking about the orchard, and I guess the way they were talking about it made me think of Ellison Park. And I can no longer think of Ellison Park without thinking of the tree, and my fall. Connor wasn’t there that day, of course. But I guess...he could've been. when I was telling the story…it was almost like he was. Suddenly thinking of him being there to come get me…everything felt okay. Or at least not not okay. And 'not okay' is how I usually feel. 

I’m considering going up to my room when I hear a voice speak:

“So you took my advice after all. It was a nice story, I’ll give you that. No racist-punching, but better than the truth at least.”

I fall off the couch and let out a scream that I’ll admit isn’t very manly. 

 I realize I probably should have turned on said light, because if I had, I might have noticed someone in the room. And that would have been scary, yes, but probably less scary than simply hearing a disembodied voice suddenly talking to me. 

 I’ve prepared—well, not so much prepared as worried, which masquerades remarkably well as preparation—for people breaking into my house longer than I’ve worried about the Murphys. Though, to be fair, I expected them to come with knives and/or guns and threats...not talking about advice and punching racists. (The people breaking in, not the Murphys).

The living room isn’t that far from the kitchen, I probably should be going for a knife. Instead I just try to scramble away on the couch and don’t make much distance.

“Who-Who are you?!” I demand, (or, at least, I try to demand, but it sounds more like a squeal), “Why are you in my house?!”

The perp makes a noise like a scoff. “So you can hear me. I thought you might have seen me the other day but I—“ He stops himself. 

I stop in my scrambling too, because it’s starting to hit me, like spice that takes a second to set your mouth on fire.

I know that voice. It isn’t the voice of a strange burglar or serial killer—or at least, I don’t think he is but I guess I can’t rule it out, because it’s— 

It’s a voice that can’t be speaking to me right now. Literally can't.

“Still,” He’s not disembodied after all, because his shadow walks over to the shelf. Despite the realization, or maybe because of it, I resume my scrambling, finally making it off the couch and onto my feet, (not without falling over first). “That’s some psychotic bullshit you barfed up. One moment you’re writing some creepy note about my sister, trying to make everyone to think I’m crazy, next thing I know you have dinner with my family, talking shit about how we were friends, telling stories about how we went to the orchard together. I’ve never been very good at math, tell me,” I can’t really see him but something tells me he’s turning to me with those blue death rays, “how does that add up?”

Somehow in my scrambling I’ve made it to the light switch, and my fingers clutch it like its a lifesaver thrown out to my pitifully struggling body at sea. 

I’m not quite sure I wouldn’t rather drown. 

I flick my finger, turning on the light.

I already knew I’d regret it before I turned it on, and, when I did, the regret hit me instantly and intensely, like the spice finally kicking in. 

Standing there in his thick boots, and ripped jeans, and long, messy hair, and eyes that analyze my soul is Connor Murphy. 

I cover my mouth, breath gaining about ten pounds, heart gaining a hundred, but still running anyways.

“Holy—Holy shit.” I say into my hand. “Holy fuck.”

Connor smirks. “At least someone has the decency to react.”

“You’re—but you—You’re alive?! You’ve been alive this whole time?!”

His eyes darken, dart away. “Not alive, no.”

“Well w-what else could you be?!” I stutter, reaching my tremoring hand into my pocket for my meds, my Ativen—maybe I’ll find my sanity in there if I dig far enough. He’s walking towards me and my heartbeat has gone past the hundred mile-per-hour mark to the speed of light. “I mean, dead people don’t just show up in people’s houses—!”

He leans forward and swipes his hand at me, and I tense, thinking he’s going to knock the pills out of my hand, but instead his fingers go right through me. 

I let myself look up at him, finally understanding. 

Up at the kid who I always tried to avoid. The kid whose sister I have a crush on. The kid who pushed me at lunch the other day. At the kid who took my letter in the computer lab. The kid I was terrified would ruin my life with that letter (well, more ruined than it already is). The kid who I'm pretending was my best friend. The kid who killed himself. 

At Connor Murphy’s ghost. 

“Excuse me for a moment.” 

The pills scatter on the couch before I have a chance to attempt to get even one down, and I scramble to the bathroom to empty what little of Cynthia’s dinner I actually ate into the toilet.

In between heaves I try to think, to wrap my brain around this, to just have a second to breathe, not really able to do or have any of the above. 

Step one: Connor Murphy steals my letter. The letter I wrote to myself. One that was more honest than it strictly should have been. 

Step two: Connor Murphy kills himself. 

Step three: Connor Murphy’s parents think my letter is his suicide note. 

Step four: I can’t bring myself to tell the truth, so I end up going to the wake, and going to dinner at the Murphys’ house, and fabricating some crazy story about us having a picturesque friendship, and planning on making secret emails—

Step five: Connor Murphy’s ghost appears to me in my room. 

Like an actual ghost. Yesterday I didn’t believe those existed. I think my mom does, and I always liked watching documentaries about haunted houses. But what I like about the documentaries is they often include a scientific explanation.

And aren’t ghosts supposed to be like…scary? I mean, don’t get me wrong this is scary, Connor is scary—he was scary before he died. But I always thought ghosts were supposed to be like something out of a horror movie, covered in rotting flesh, unable to do anything but moan and scream. Not the kid you happen to be pretending you were best friends with showing up in your room. 

No, no, actually, I think I know what’s going on here. Yeah. There’s no ghost. This isn’t happening. The stuff with the letter didn’t even happen either. There was actually a step zero in there: 

Step zero is I went insane. 

When I manage to get the courage to come back into the room. He’s disappeared. I’ll admit, I was kinda hoping for that. I’m half relieved—more like fifteen sixteenths. Perhaps he was a hallucination after all. All those skipped dinners getting to me, when I actually ate something my body couldn’t handle it. I do my best to clean up the scattered pills on the couch, and the scattered thoughts in my brain.

But then I walk upstairs to my room I find I was wrong.

“I’ve gotten a lot reactions over the years,” he remarks when I get back. “Can’t say I’ve ever had that one.”

“Sorry, I—It’s just—I just—you’re…you’re here.”

“Not because I want to be, believe me. I’d rather be practically anywhere else.” His hand passes through my shelf. 

“And you’re dead.”

“Come on.” He feigns offense. “A little respect for your dearly departed. I mean we were best friends, after all.”

“Oh god.” That’s right, the dinner. I'd tried to block out the fact that he mentioned my story earlier. “You really heard all that?!” 

“Didn’t intend to go back to my house. Died to be rid of it, after all. But I did, and I saw you there, and I couldn’t fathom why. And here you were spouting the most incredible fucking bullshit about how we were friends.”

“Yeah-Um-So-Well—“ I breathe out, trying to get my lungs to work properly. I thought the Murphy’s house felt hot earlier. This is a couple degrees hotter than the Sahara. 

I just want this day to end. What demon (if ghosts exist, those probably exist, after all) marked their calendar for Torment-Evan-Day? I mean, that’s kinda every day, but this is a specially-crafted brand of torture. 

“The-” I swallow. “The-The letter? You know, the one that you took from me?" Then, realizing that sounds accusatory, I add, "I-I’m sure you didn’t mean to.” I shake my head. I’m trying my best to tell the truth without making him upset. It feels like a futile endeavor. “Your parents think youwrote it. T-To me, I mean. They think it was your”—I don’t know how or why, but I manage to look him in the eye—“suicide note.”

His eyes widen, but they narrow quickly afterwards. “So you just sat there and fed them bullshit about how we were friends instead of correcting them?” 

“Well, no-They—they—” No, not the Sahara, I’m ninety percent sure I’m standing right in the sun. “I tried to tell them—” I swallow. “I promise I really did!” I wipe my sweaty hands on my shirt. “I mean technically I actually did tell them you didn’t write it—they were just…they didn’t understand. They wanted me—They were looking to me for help, for answers. I couldn’t—!“ 

Once again, I don’t know how I manage to look into those soul-sucking eyes. But once I do, I realize something. 

An hour ago, I thought of him as the dead kid. The kid who killed himself. He was a concept, a symbol, more than a person I knew. But before that, as little as we talked, I did know him. He was Connor Murphy. He was real.

And in the second it takes to realize that, I’m replaying our conversations, and I’m realizing that’s wrong too. This isn’t Connor Murphy, and this isn’t the kid who killed himself. This is Connor Murphy…who killed himself. That is to say, the symbol, and the real Connor I knew, coalesce into one. 

And I realize that those eyes aren’t analyzing my soul, or trying to suck it out, or hating me, or anything like that…they are so vastly, so perfectly—

“You...You didn’t give them anything else.” I don’t know how, where, I got this random shot of bravery. “I didn’t want to take away all they had of you, even if it was—“ I laugh a little, not because it’s funny, but because I can’t figure out what else to do. “Even if it was just some stupid letter I wrote to myself.”

His eyes widen. I think it’s because he’s surprised at, angered by, my boldness. I get ready to apologize, but he says: 

“You wrote that to yourself?” 

My eyes widen. 

That’s right…I didn’t exactly let that on last time. Didn't have the chance. He thought I was messing with him.

“Y-Yeah. It…” I sigh. There’s no use denying it, and, well, it's not like he can tell anyone, right? Dead men tell no tales, after all...Except for the fact that one is talking to me. Right now. “It was an assignment from my therapist.”

Besides, if anyone’s going to understand…it’s him.

And...that's when it hits me.

Along with the realization that this is Connor Murphy, who killed himself, I realize I’ve been focused on the wrong thing. 

I was worried—certain, really—that Connor would something terrible with it. All this time I was focused on covering my ass, I was focused on the fact that the letter was mine, not Connor’s.

This whole time, even after he was gone, it didn’t compute. I didn’t realize. The reason he took it. He didn’t take it because he wanted to use it against me. 

Was it possible he took it...because he felt the same way? 

“I bet he always brings things back to some shit that happened with your father.”

“Yeah…Yeah he does do that.” I laugh a little. 

“Mine liked to equate my drug use with suppressed sexual frustrations. I told him I didn’t think they were very suppressed.”

I laugh, but quickly stop myself, remembering what happened last time I laughed at something he said, but when I turn to him he’s actually smiling. A little, at least. 

“Into the Wild.” As far as abrupt subject changes go, that one might take the cake. He turns to my shelf. 

“I’m—I’m sorry?”

He runs his finger along the spine of a book...or maybe just tries to. Or pretends to.

“O-Oh! You’re talking about the book!”

“I have a copy of it too—had," he scoffs, then mutters, seemingly more to himself than to me: "It feels weird to talk about myself in the past tense."

I'm sure it does feel weird. 

I feel weird. 

This whole thing is weird. 

Even without the whole ghost thing, it feels weird to be in my room, talking about books with Connor Murphy. Like, to actually talk to him, as opposed to nervously and pitifully trying to defend myself, fearing I'll have a black eye in the morning.

“What were you and Zoe talking about?” He asks, changing the subject yet again, like that one hadn’t satisfied him enough.

“W-Oh, you saw us talking in the car. She—“ I grimace. “She wanted to know if we, uh, if we did drugs together.” 

He snorts. “Always a charmer, that Zoe. My biggest fan you could say. You said we were friends and her first assumption was that we did drugs together. Can’t say her suspicion is unfounded. At least on my end. Though something tells me you’re not the type.”

“No—No I’ve never—“ I swallow. "No."

"So." Yet another subject change, it sounds like. "I had a secret email account, huh? I used it to talk to you all the time?

I freeze.

Yup. Just when I think the worst has already happened, I'm reminded hell has nine circles, and I haven't even arrived at the lobby.

When he was dead, he was a symbol. And, really—as terrible as it sounds—I could say anything about a symbol. I mean he wasn’t going to hear me. But now that I know he’s not dead—well, he is dead, just…undead, as insane as that is to think—and real (as far as I can tell), and he very much canhear me, I remember, despite the sadness in his eyes, this is still Connor Murphy, the kid who thew a printer at Mrs. G in second grade. 

What the hell was I thinking? 

His eyes darken. “Like, what? Secret lovers?" He shook his head. "Why the fuck would you say that?”

“Oh god, yeah I….I did say that.” Somebody just end it. “It was the only thing that made sense.”

“What kind of fucking sense does that make?!” There's a curl to his fingers. 

Even though I know he can’t hurt me, my body doesn’t; it’s been trained to run away, and can’t help but stumble backwards like there’s a corporeal person in my room. 

“Well they wanted to know how we could be friends without them knowing it.”

He scoffs. “I took you for some kind of loser. But now I see.” He leans forward so his eyes are level with mine. "You’re a diabolical mastermind, Evan Hansen.”

“I’m really—really—not. I just—” I hit the wardrobe in my backing up. I can’t believe he really thinks I intended any of this. My head falls into my hands. “Everything’s so messed up.” 

“You saying I messed everything up?!” There’s a snarl in his voice.

“No—No!” I stand, waving my hands. “I didn’t say that! That’s not what I’m saying! I’m saying I messed everything up!”

I expect him to keep advancing, to try his best to punch me, but instead he stares at me, then sorta…falls onto bed (I’m both surprised he does this, and surprised he can) laying back, sighing. He puts his arm over his face and, to my even greater surprise, he begins to laugh. Not an actual happy laugh. I know this laugh: it’s the kind of laugh I laugh when my body doesn’t know what else to do. 

“Sure, people always ignoring me, always treating me like shit, like I had some disease, that was your fault.” 

“Well, I—“

“Me pushing you, that was your fault." 

“Well that’s—That’s not exactly what I meant.” 

"Me killing myself, leaving nothing but a letter you wrote to yourself…that’s totally your fault.”

I freeze again. I think hell might have frozen over.

He sighs. “You’re right about one thing: everything is truly fucked up.” 

I sit on the bed next to him and look at my hands. I’d like to say something. To do something. To offer some words of comfort. But I’m well acquainted with the fact that 'comforting' words (like 'Chin up! It'll get better!' or ‘It’s not the end of the world.’) really aren’t comforting at all. 

I’d like to at least say ‘It’ll be okay’ but…how can I say that? Maybe, for me, everything will work out in the end (…I think this is the first time that thought has ever crossed my mind) but he’s already dead. There’s nowhere for him to go. Except the afterlife. …If that even exists. 

The world’s already ended for him. 

I’d like to comfort him. To argue against him. To show him at least one nugget that has been unharmed in the fuckage that I could present to him. But I can’t disagree with him. Like…at all. 

Like I said. Things get worse and worse.

And then...you die.

I realize something.

It's not truly comforting, but it's a positive, at least.

I jerk my head up to look at him.

“Hey, maybe-maybe you could help me!”

“Help you?” He lifts his arm a little so he can raise an eyebrow at me. 

“Help me set things right! Help me tell your parents we weren’t really best friends! I’ve been wanting to tell them the truth this whole time I just—I can’t seem to get it out. You could help me figure out how to tell them!”

He sits up, studying me. “I could do that. I could help you set things right. Put an end to this charade.”

I nod profusely. 

“Help you tell my parents that the only thing they have of me is a letter you wrote to yourself. Dash all their hopes and dreams, make them miserable, you know, all that shit.”

It sounds bad when he puts it like that. Maybe the truth won't set you free after all. 

“Or.” His mouth curves into a smirk, and I smile back—not because I’m happy, not because it’s an actual happy smirk, rather because it’s the kind of smirk that makes me nervous as all hell, and when that happens my body picks from a wheel of stupid reactions. “I could watch you continue your little farce, watch you suffer as you invent more and more ridiculous ways to cover your ass.”

No, no, that sounds equally bad. Let’s not do that either. “Is there an option C?” My voice cracks. 

He considers it a moment, sits back on his hands. “I suppose we could compromise. In your little stories about me, it might be nice if you actually portrayed me accurately. I could help with that. Right now your impersonation is laughable. I don’t know how it fooled my parents.”

“I vote for option C.”

“What’s in it for me?”

“I mean…What do you want?” 

“Ohh you might just regret that.” He smirks again. 

“Wait, I wasn't agreeing to giving you anything you want! I was just asking—!“

“Too late.” He puts his finger to his lips. “The deal is sealed.”

I keep digging myself into a bigger ditch without even saying anything. Let alone when I open my mouth.

“So what’s the next step of our little game?”

“Well…” I swallow. “Jared told me he could write fake emails. You know because your parents will...probably want to see them.”

“Jared, huh? Kleinman?" (I’m guessing he hasn’t forgotten about the incident from the other day.) “Good thing I’m here. If I’d left you to your own devices I’d end sounding like a—”

“Did you eat already?” 

I nearly scream—well no, not nearly, I do let out a sort of strangled cry—at my mom’s voice. I had been so focused on all of…this craziness that I forgot she was heading home. 

“I didn’t think I was that scary.” She laughs to herself a little, then she looks around the room, brow furrowed. “Were you talking to someone?”

She can’t see him. Good. I don’t have to explain why a dead kid is sitting in my room. 

“N-Nope! Just uhh—Practicing.”

“Practicing? For what?” 

“Uhh, for a play,” I say because what else could I be practicing? I can hear Connor stifling a laugh behind me. 

She blinks in surprise. “Oh, Honey, you’re in the school play?” 

She’s going to say it’s a bad idea. Because it is a bad idea. Because it’s not true. 

“That’s fantastic!”

I blink. What?

“I always thought you hated public speaking. You know, from that time you fainted?”

“I do. That’s, uhh, that’s why I signed up!” I feel my face burning, I make a thumbs up with my casted arm. I know Connor can’t exactly use this against me, but him hearing me stumble through my lies to my mom in my own home isn’t something I signed up for today. Though, I didn’t sign up for any of this. Can I unsubscribe? “Yeah, I wanna get over that fear.”

“I’m so proud of you!” She clasps her hands together. “If you haven’t eaten yet, why don’t we have a celebratory meal?”

I’m shocked. Usually she’s the police on making sure I’ve eaten. 

“Oh…Darn,” I say a little over-emphatically. “I already ate.”

“Darn.” She repeats. 

“That was fun the other day, right?” She says. “Going out for breakfast?”

So much has happened since our breakfast it already feels like ages ago. “Yeah. Definitely. It was.”

“I was thinking, how about I bag one of my shifts this week. When’s the last time we did a taco night?”

I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure those tortillas in the freezer have turned by now. “Oh. You don’t have to.”

“No, I want to. Maybe we could even start brainstorming those essay questions together.”

The essays. Of course. Her face waits expectantly. “Sure,” I say. “That would be great.”

“Oh. That’s exciting,” she says looking victorious. “I’m excited now. Something to look forward to.”

“Yeah.”

“‘Practicing’?” Connor snorts after she leaves. “‘For a play’? You? You really need some coaching on this whole lying business. I thought you were a terrible liar with my parents but this is fucking priceless.” 

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” I bite.

Something dark enters his eyes. “I think hell will wait for me.”

"Well that's not what I—Oh never mind."

[livvyofthelake]

cassie protagonists ranked TO ME

emma..... my most beloved emma.... she's like if a boy was a girl but totally normal about being a girl she just acts weird. that didn't make sense. she's like girl jace basically. which makes her a billion times cooler and deeper than jace could ever try to be. she's like if there was a girl who kind of sucked and was an idiot but she loved her friends so so so much and she was a genius and super cool and awesome and badass but also she's like kind of stupid with emotions and bad at handling personal relationships... and she has a sick ass sword!!! she's like if katniss was a shadowhunter. she's like if a knight from any fairy tale was kind of a loser. she's like if liv moore was monogamous. hard to explain any of that just trust me that emma is cool as hell. and she loves clary sooooo much...

clary. we would be nowhere without the og.... she's literally like if an angel was just some dude. and she had Protagonist Disorder. and she was blessed with divine visions. you know i love clary you know i'm a clary girl do i even need to get into it further...

it hurts me to do this, i didn't want to have to make cordelia number 4 but. ok and rememeber that this is conceptual still because twp doesn't even exist yet it's just well i can't make my special girl number 4 out of 5 i'm not a monster. anyway yeah. dru <3 she is so dear to me even though collectively only like 30 pages have ever been written about her. i just know she's going to slay the house down in the wicked powers is the thing i know it i KNOW it... people are afraid of her slayage and believe it or not she already has haters but they are NOT me and they are NOT welcome here... i don't give a shit if you wanted kit to be the protagonist of twp he's not a girl. being a cassie shadowhunter protagonist is for girls only. he can be second like jace and james and will and jules. kinda crazy how historically all the secondary mains have been the love interest. rip ash lmao. anyway. literally do not care if you wanted kit to be the main main character you will fucking survive and you don't know it yet but it's better this way. dru is taking so many hits for him it's crazy. cassie's gonna make her do love triangle drama and annoying miscommunication and we're all gonna be so pissed off about it like we always are when cassie does this with every single on of her primary couples. and meanwhile kit and ty are gonna be fucking normal in comparasin. say thank you to dru and get over it.... also i literally love her to pieces she's soooo funny and kind and she loves her family more than anything and she hates being the second youngest and she just wants to be included in ty's ridiculous schemes and she loves her silly little horror movies and she has a blue streak in her hair and she wears ironic t shirts and she hates school and she's soooo mad that jules and emma restored their haunted house before she could visit it.... and she's my friend.....

cordelia <3 it's not her fault the final book in her trilogy was kind of a flop. she slayed it though... except for the love triange stuff that pissed me off an unreal amount you guys know you were there. but i love cordelia she's soooo protagonist... she's so remember that you can't save everyone remember that you have to try..... also her gay ally swag is unbeatable. she loves her gay friends more than she loves herself....

tessa sorry girl it's just well i haven't read tid since 2014. you're cool to hang with in sobh tho even though you're cryptic as hell for no fucking reason.... i love it tho she's like hm well things happened in the past that might actually be relevant to your situation emma but i can't tell you about those things because they make me sad. good luck tho! like go girl give us nothing....

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

ELEMENTAL Box Office Nonesuch

So... ELEMENTAL looks to make $28-33m over the weekend... The autopsies are already being done, the expensive Pixar original is already deemed a flop... Here's what I say...

Box office is absurd: I mean really, box office runs seem more and more absurd by the year in the post-COVID outbreak era... Having to make so much money, in a very competitive field and in a time where audiences can't see too many movies a year, in around 3-4 months? Like c'mon, it's literally the infancy of a movie's existence. It's not the '00s, or even the '10s anymore.

Longevity: Especially since animated movies from both Pixar and Disney Animation traditionally have had long, ever-fruitful second lives. Whether it was thru theatrical re-releases (1940s-1980s), home video (1980s-onward), or streaming... ELEMENTAL will likely be no different by the end of the year, probably will rack up a million streams on Disney+. This has a very good "A" CinemaScore grade, so it could have very good legs over the summer, even if it doesn't top that ridiculous budget.

$200m budget... Making around $500m at the worldwide box office is a lot of pressure to put on an original animated family movie, let alone most movies, especially in this day and age.

"Well, if they had made a good movie-" OK, now do every blockbuster smash hit that got mixed to negative critical reception. Heck, do this year's SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE. Critical reception/one's own opinion doesn't mean shit. If it did, CARS 2 - the go-to for "worst Pixar movie" - would've flopped hard back in 2011, regardless of any goodwill brought over from the first movie.

That William Goldman quote/marketing/blah blah: "Nobody knows anything... Not one person in the entire motion picture field knows for a certainty what's going to work. Every time out it's a guess and, if you're lucky, an educated one." Whatever was in that marketing... And there WAS marketing... LOTS of it... Just didn't motivate audiences to shell out lots of money for tickets and concessions to see this film in a theater where it's possibly disgusting, noisy, or... Both!

Pixar is not in a slump: This is also all subjective. And if I was a filmmaker, and I had a slump of movies that ranged from roughly 70-85% Rotten Tomatoes scores - not that RT aggregate scores mean anything anyways... That'd be quite alright! Anyways, the movies they're currently making just aren't to your liking. That's all it is... and they don't have to release a specific kind of movie. This, ideally, should be a studio where a director makes THEIR film. Not a collective. Like it used to be at one point... Speaking of which-

John Lasseter: I've seen so many people, from inside animation fan circles... to even pundits writing for major movie publications... Suggesting that Lasseter's ouster left a real hole in Pixar, and Disney Animation as well. Never mind implying that a misogynist pervert should be brought back to the studio, but this also suggests that every Pixar success is because of him... And him only. Like, all the filmmakers are just untalented hacks without him? Like he's the guy who waves a magic wand and suddenly, everyone on board made a good movie? Do you want animated movies made by FILMMAKERS? Or films determined by a small COMMITTEE? I'm also old enough to remember when Lasseter was THE problem with Pixar, that he was a dictator making every director bow to his every demand. (Which was true.)

I'm sorry, but I'm just exhausted from how people are talking about ELEMENTAL... Which I haven't even seen yet, but it feels like people are trying to write such nuanced industry-related things and outside factors off and use their personal opinions/biases to explain away these box office mishaps, wrapping it up in neat simplistic bows...

I'm just concerned about what will happen with the studio from here on out, especially after 75 people - including veterans like Galyn Susman, Angus MacLane, and Steve Purcell - were laid off.

"Make better movies, then!" Okay, how subjective, it's not like the studio's people are all sitting there not putting in effort and calling it a day. Okay? These movies take years and years to plan out, make, remake, and finish. Like Goldman said, it's all a guess each time out. A gamble. When these people are making these movies, they're making decisions that they think are the right decisions at the right time. ELEMENTAL, by all accounts, went into development around 2016-ish. Around the time director Peter Sohn had finished THE GOOD DINOSAUR... How would the crew, and the studio as a whole, had known what the world would like in 2023? What audiences' ever-changing tastes would be? What the zeitgeist would be?

And again... "Make better movies"? MARIO might've pulled in $1.3b worldwide and became one of the highest-grossing animated movies of all-time, but the critical reception for it wasn't great. Mostly mixed to negative, not as good as this movie. Or TURNING RED, LUCA, SOUL, ONWARD, even LIGHTYEAR! And even all the recent WDAS movies, including big box office flop STRANGE WORLD.

Again, it's as simple - and boring - as "They made a movie... People didn't show up."

So... What do I think happens next?

Pixar hasn't had a genuine financial success in theaters since TOY STORY 4 all the way back in 2019. ONWARD got cut off by the pandemic, SOUL, LUCA, and TURNING RED all went straight to Disney+ in most parts of the world. LIGHTYEAR lost money, this might, too... How much did ELIO cost? Why should that film be expected to make the amount of money usually reserved for a massive superhero movie? INSIDE OUT 2 is all but a lock for a huge gross... A sequel, no less.

I would hate to see Pete Docter get removed as CCO (and who the hell would they replace him with anyways? The rest of the "Brain Trust" is either no longer working there or off doing other things), but I fear that could be a very real possibility. I know most of the internet declares Docter's Pixar to be some kind of failure, but I for one like his Pixar. Even if I didn't like the films coming out now, the place is a lot more director-driven than before, and more experimental. John Lasseter would've probably fired Enrico Casarosa, Domee Shi, and Angus MacLane off of all of their films... Or would've blockaded them every step of the way whenever they tried to make something in their respective films interesting. So yeah, I don't feel Docter is the problem here... it's really all down to how Disney handled the release of many of the recent Pixar films, how much the studio spends on their films, and the marketing just not enticing audiences to go see the films.

That's beyond Docter's control, and he even partially touched upon this in a recent interview... And for what it's worth, again... Audiences... The ones who actually saw the movie already... seem to be liking ELEMENTAL. "A" CinemaScore is pretty good. SPIDER-VERSE Deux and MARIO had an "A" CinemaScore as well. If this movie has excellent legs, it'll show that people - not internet-dwelling weirdos who seem to be the authority on all things animation - actually DID like the film... It just cost too much to make. Like a modern-day CLEOPATRA or SLEEPING BEAUTY. A movie that quite a few audiences went to, but it wasn't enough to cover the gargantuan costs to make it...

Like, if ELEMENTAL cost around BAD GUYS/PUSS IN BOOTS 2/DC SUPER-PETS/SPIDER-VERSE numbers... You know, around $80-90m in budget and NOT $200m+... this thing wouldn't be written off as a flop.

I'd imagine more sequels will happen, which was always a given, but maybe more so than ever before. INSIDE OUT 2 and TOY STORY 5, they weren't going to stop there, that was a given... Docter did say in that same interview that the originals in Pixar's library are fair game for sequels. And no smart exec walks away from movies that make $1b at the box office... Unless they're something like, say, TITANIC.

Maybe there will be stricter mandates put on Pixar films to "make them more appealing to audiences"... That's very possible, as it sometimes happens at these studios. Micromanaging, ya know? Trying to create that next big hit the mechanical way, by overthinking it... Instead of just making something and seeing how it all goes. How it does at the box office is often beyond a filmmakers' control anyways... Again, what the world will look like 4 years after you've started your endeavor...

Or maybe nothing happens, Pixar has special privileges, and keeps making what they make...

To me, the smartest thing would be to either... Step back and realize how silly box office has become, that it's absurd to expect a smash hit out of something in a crowded marketplace in just 2-4 months, hinging an entire studio's future on that... Or lower the budgets of these movies...

Anyways, sorry to rant, but it's all just absurd to me... Yes, the movie may indeed lose money, but it's not clear-cut.

[sennaverstappendiary]

australian grand prix ✩ 02.04.2023

SOOOOO HERE WE FUCKING GO‼️‼️‼️ my journey into f1 has finally started. now, is it because i'm dutch and max is slaying? well, that has something to do with it, but! i actually have to instead thank the other driver in my username for getting me into f1! 🥰🥰🥰

🗓️ march 23th, 2023. i was in bed, trying to sleep, and i simply couldn't. i don't know why - might have to do with recovery symptoms, but i COULD NOT sleep. and my now ex was sleeping next to me, so couldn't watch video's. what did i do instead?

wikipedia deep dive. 😁😁😁

i'm not sure how it happened, but eventually i found myself on the... "crashes in formula one" page. and being the morbidly curious little freak that i am, i scrolled through everything. one of them caught my eyes though, more than any other.

💕💕ayrton senna💕💕 - the last driver to pass away during a formula one race. i clicked on his page, and, woah. it was like something clicked inside of me as i scrolled through it. especially his rivalry with 💕💕alain prost💕💕 seemed so interesting to me... like what happened there...

needless to say: i was hooked. more than hooked, to be honest. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

i ended up scrolling, reading more and more, and i only slept when it was 5 am. the days after that were a blur of FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE FORMULA ONE. it was genuinely the only thing i could think of/talk about. genuinely felt like i was on cr4ck... 💥💥💥

funny thing: my brother, who had introduced me to f1, wasn't even home at the time i got hyperfixated. sometimes i wonder how that would've gone. 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

another funny thing: i was very sad to find out that the prosenna community wasn't thriving on tumblr 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

another VERY funny thing: i literally laughed the first time i saw lestappen. like in a mean way. i have no clue what happened but about 2 days later i was reblogging it and it was becoming my fav modern ship alarmingly quickly 🤯🤯🤯🤯

so yeah. went kinda (really) fucking crazy the week before this grand prix. of course i decided to wake up at 7 am to watch it 😁😁 god bless. i didn't gaf about fp at the time (smartest thing ive ever done, like, i should stop caring about fp now)

qualifying was just... confusing for me seeing as i didn't understand too much. i do vividly remember how AWKWARD the picture with the top 3 was 😭😭😭 i was very sleepy and i think i accidentally woke up my (now) exin the other room PLEASE 🤣🤣🤣

the race was... i'm both shocked and glad that this was my first ever race. waking up at 7 for it was fun as fuck i can't even lie i LOVE me an early race 💕💕 i was so hyped for it!! i didn't understand much, and i didn't have any friends to chat with yet, but it was fun. if i had been into f1 longer i would've probably been more scared of the mercs leading lap after lap, but i was blissfully unaware AND very very faithful in max... just kept repeating to myself "i'm not gonna worry about it lol" which DID work in the end. i rewatched this race for this post and man. i remember not really giving a fuck about charles dnf because i wasn't THAT much into any modern drivers yet except max LOL. 🥲🥲🥲 and i remember alex's crash being way later than it actually was in the race? maybe because of the crazy fucking red flags PLEASE 😰😰😰 george's car lighting on fire... nyck flopping... my first impression of carlos being his fucking complaint about the SUN i'm screaming... what a crazy fucking race.

after the race i was gleefully telling my dad everything (his ass was NOT waking up at 7 for this which i respect greatly) and shakingly eating breakfast (i was so excited fdjhgdhfgdfh)... and then i realised... 4 weeks without f1 😵‍💫😵‍💫 whilst in the height of my hyperfix!! how did i survive!!!

anyway i'm so glad this was my first race, even though it was a really weird one dfhghdg 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 AUSTRALIA 2023 U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

✩ song of the race: Industry Baby - Lil Nas X

I just fuck heavy with this song LMFAO. also it's kinda maxcore if u think about it... i certainly think about it... 😭💕😭💕😭💕

[whumble-beeee]

Whumptember 2023, Day 4

“Where Are They?”

Kidnapped | Left behind | Desperation

@whumptember

The Bee’s Whumptember Masterlist

CW: mentioned kidnapping, mentioned character death (they didn't die but the characters don't know that lol

~1560 words

(This is going to be a direct continuation of my story from Day 3: This Can’t Be It, now from Sibling’s point of view (I’m really proud of that story so go give it a read if you have time))

-------------

Sibling ran, faster than they had ever run before, faster than they thought was possible, across rooftops, over alleyways, speeding above sidestreets and hurtling over any rooftop obstacle that got in their way; away from Whumper and their goons, away from their problems, away from the person who held them back as Whumper whispered sweet threats into Whumpee’s ears, dangled him over the side of the building, threatened his life. Away from Whumpee, who could still be halfway over the side of the building for all they knew, his panicked eyes searching for them and looking at them with fear, hope, love, trust that Sibling would get him out of this situation. That Sibling wouldn’t let Whumper kill him over some stupid unpaid debt. But they didn’t. They ran.

Now Whumpee could just be a splatter on the pavement.

The rush of air against their skin had never felt more nauseating, their lungs screaming out in pain more and more as if the organs themselves were protesting Sibling's cowardice, demanding they go back and make things right.

They were finally in another gang’s territory now, and their tail had stopped chasing. Whether it was because Sibling managed to lose them or they just didn’t want to get caught chasing someone on Electric Underground turf, they didn’t care. It’s not like they would stop running until they got to the safehouse anyway.

The quickly punched in the code to the rusty old keypad and slammed open the door, paying no mind to the various panicked and suspicious looks they received as they frantically made their way through the room, searching. The panic and adrenaline rising in their chest made them feel like they were about to explode.

“HAS ANYONE SEEN CARETAKER?!” Sibling cried out, which only earned them some very annoyed and disgusted looks from some very annoyed gang members. Then a loud crash could be heard from the kitchenette across the room, and a small yelp. Then, a thankfully uninjured caretaker emerged, rubbing at a fresh bruise on their arm.

“Sibling? What the fuck man, you can’t just run into a gang hangout and start screaming–”

“They took Whumpee!”

Caretaker froze in their tracks. They looked around the room, then back at Sibling, confused. “What? Who's they? W-what happened, where's Whumpee?”

“The Ravens, they took Whumpee, they might have– might have killed him, I don't know, I don’t know where they are now, I didn’t–”

“Woah woah, wait, shut the hell up.” Caretaker raced over to Sibling, literally slapping their hand over Sibling's mouth. “Let’s maybe talk about this somewhere more private?” Caretaker gestured to the few other people in the room, and lo and behold, they were all either fully staring at them, or at least badly pretending they weren’t, unconvincingly reading or book or half playing a video game level that had barely been restarted. They all knew about the Emerald Ravens. Everybody did. Their wide eyes and sympathetically horrified expressions showcased that well enough.

“Ah yeah, right…” Sibling agreed. They let Caretaker guide them to what amounted to a janitor's closet, the walls lined with cleaning supplies and rags, and other stores that looked like they could be used for more… nefarious purposes. The literal axe in the corner proved particularly intriguing to Sibling.

"Okay, start over." Caretaker said when all fell quiet again. "What happened to Whumpee?"

"I- uh…" Sibling's stomach started doing flip-flops at the prospect of telling Caretaker everything. But they had to. For Whumpee. "Okay… so me an' Whumpee, we were on the rooftops, and I was showin' off a little for him, teachin' him how to jump across the large gaps, you know how I do all the parkour stuff…"

Caretaker gazed at Sibling, unimpressed. "Yeah…?"

"So uh, we were doin' that, and then outta nowhere, these four fuckin' Ravens just showed up behind us like fuckin' magic, cornered us, and they started messing with Whumpee, threatening him with knives an’ shit, trying to get to me and eventually they just up and dangled him over the edge of the damn building–"

"Wait wait, Sibling, slow down. What?" Caretaker exclaimed. "What do you mean you got jumped by the Ravens? They don't just jump people… They dangled Whumpee off a building? What did you do?"

Whumpee closed their eyes and took a deep breath through gritted teeth. This was what they'd been dreading. "I owe them some money. The Ravens. A lot of money." Sibling spat out quickly. "I assume they saw me with my kid brother and thought it'd be a good time to scare me straight and collect, show me they weren’t playin' around. Using him."

Caretaker stared, horrified. "So they killed a 19-year-old kid because his sibling couldn't pay up? How deep in are you?!"

Sibling could feel the pinpricks of tears on the edges of his eyes. "...I dunno–"

"What do you mean you don't know, you were THERE!" Caretaker yelled. 

"I know why they were there, Caretaker! I just don't know–" their voice broke as they thought of the last time their amazing, trusting brother had gazed into their eyes, right after he'd completed that first jump. He was so proud. Sibling's breath hitched. "I dun-dunno… what happened to Whumpee…"

Caretaker had to pause to regroup all their thoughts. "You don't know–… but weren't you–"

"I ran a-away, okay? I ran away! They were dangling him o-over the edge an' he was screamin' and cryin' and begging me to save him, and I was yellin' at Whumper that I'd get them the money, but only if they put him down and, and… and leave my little brother out of this, he’s got nothin’ to do with them. They said they wanted the money now, so I couldn't save him and they were gearin’ do something to me too so I just… I ran. So fast. Didn't look back, I dunno what happened afterward, I didn't see…"

Sibling felt salty tears streaming down their face. They just wanted to crawl up into a ball and die.

"Wow…” Caretaker, for about the hundredth time in the past five minutes, stared at Sibling absolutely dumbfounded. “You're a real piece of shit, Sibling."

Sibling laughed despite themself, and half-strangled cry that barely choked out among the quiet sobs. They were so tired. So tired. Not just their joints and muscles, which hadn't stopped screaming out since Sibling finished their mad dash here. Their thoughts, their very mind just felt like it was shutting down.

"I know. Huge piece of shit. I didn't deserve him…" Sibling wiped the snot away from their nose with a snort. "I dunno if he's even alive, Caretaker. They coulda just… let him go, and…" Sibling half-heartedly pantomimed a falling body with their hand, falling down, down, down before splatting out on the closest shelf.

"They also could have kept him alive…" Caretaker pointed out. "Use him to make sure you pay out, to show they're serious. That'd be the smart thing to do."

Caretaker didn't voice possibility that even if the Sibling did somehow manage to pay out, Whumper could still easily kill both Sibling and Whumpee. And probably would. But Sibling looked downtrodden enough without the notion this could all end with them both being tortured and killed.

"So… my little brother is either abstract sidewalk art… or being held ransom by one of the most uppity gangs in the city…" They buried their face in their hands with a loud groan. "God, I'm such a huge piece of SHIT!"

Caretaker stayed silent, deep in thought, allowing Sibling to cry themself out while they tried to figure out what the hell to do to save Whumpee.”So… what’re you gonna do about it then, Sibling?”

Sibling glanced up from their hands. “Whaddaya mean?”

“What. Are you. Gonna do?” Caretaker spelled slower as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“They killed him, you get revenge, and if not, you need to get him the fuck out of there. Either way, you can't sit around in an Electric Underground storage closet whining and crying. You gotta do something! Avenge your damn brother, because whatever's happening to him is your fault. So what’re you gonna do?” Caretaker got increasingly aggressive as their speech went on, gesticulating around with their hands until they were literally jabbing Sibling in the chest with their finger.

Sibling stared at Caretaker desperately. They grabbed Caretaker's hands with both of theirs, both to stop the assault and as a plea for help. “I– I–... I’m gonna ask you for help…”

“Uh-huh, and I’m agreeing. I always got your back. What next?”

“Then we maybe get some reinforcements…” Sibling looked to Caretaker for approval. Caretaker rolled their eyes and nodded, motioning for them to continue. “And figure out what happened to Whumpee. If he’s dead, or-or kidnapped…”

"There ya go," Caretaker praised with an almost painful exaggerated back pat. “You got there eventually. Though, you forgot the part where you’re certainly gonna have to find money to pay them back, though… but baby steps. So, where to? Where are they?”

Sibling hissed inward with a grimace. “If Whumpee’s still alive, which he fuckin’ better be…” Sibling looked to Caretaker sheepishly. “...they’d’ve brought him to the Emerald Raven headquarters.”

Caretaker clenched his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. Of course that's where they'd take Whumpee. They really were doing this weren't they? 

“God, you’re really such a piece of shit… C'mon, then. Let’s go save your brother.”

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

I have befriended MANY cats the same way as OP. I myself am autistic with serious personal space issues, and if anyone comes near me let alone touches me without consent and trust, I panic and flee like a scared fox.

When I was maybe 13, I'd gotten a sweet cat named Emma. She was scared beyond words of everything and everyone she didn't know. For MONTHS (about 6 months) she lived in the basement and was entirely unseen and would not move from the closet really except to eat her food when nobody was awake.

Well I came after school one day to the basement, and I just sat there. I waited. For more than an hour I just waited with some treats and a pole toy, because that toy with a string on the end and a feather allows you to play with any cat from a distance, and this makes them feel safe.

Emma was hiding in a cabinet. But after an hour, she came out. Sniffed me. Wouldn't let me pet her so I didn't. I just respected her space and tried the toy. She hadn't let ANYONE see her yet like this, she never EVER approached ANYONE for any reason. But I was patient and respecting the distance she needed, slowly building my trust with her.

And Emma returned that tenfold, coming to me and only me for around a year. She would not come out for anyone else.

It got to the point Emma would literally follow me everywhere. If she needed to hide, I had a space beneath my bed she could go under and which she always retreated to. If I went to another room, Emma was hiding there away from all others, but with me still because she trusted me. And she would never ever leave me, sleeping on me every single night but not anybody else. She began to trust and love everyone in the house about 3 years in, but still she relied on me to keep her safe and respect her boundaries.

I now have Patron, who is VERY defensive of his boundaries. I am patient, I watch his body language, and I make sure I don't intrude.

My middle brother is always violating that trust and space and all his boundaries, scares the shit out of Patron, and Patron usually runs away from the mere sight of him.

But who does Patron come to when this happens? Me. And he comes for gentle kisses and snuggles, cuddling up to me by all possible means for comfort. And I am patient, watching for his shifting away to say it's been enough. Watching to see if he approaches with his head in position to receive pets, and if he flops left or right so I pet him with a hand on the side his spine faces, or else he will bite and swipe. I use one hand at a time since two is a sensory issue for him. And I let his head movements lead me in the direction of where he wants me to scratch.

Cats can't speak, but their body language does. If you want to befriend cats, pay attention to their movements. Always let them sniff you regardless of how many times you have pet them before. They often move the body part they want pet closest to you, and shift away the parts they do not want pet.

had an interaction with a cat at my mother's friend's house (we dropped by to feed her while my mom's friend was out of town) and my mother said "i was surprised how much that cat liked you, she doesn't usually let people pet her but she followed you around and let you pet her a lot"

and in explaining to her my interaction with the cat i put into words a thing i'd never put into words before, having always automatically understood what i was doing. But once i put it into words my mother said she'd never thought of that and it felt like something worth sharing here.

This cat did a typical cat thing where she sniffed my fingers i was holding out, and then acted like she wanted me to pet her, but then when i started to move to pet her, moved her head away slightly to prevent it.

I instinctively understand this interaction, and stopped trying to pet her and moved back to a neutral position and waited to see if she would re-initiate an interaction.

Because this is basically a consent test. This is how a cat can assess "how closely are you paying attention to what i'm telling you" and "how respectful of my boundaries are you".

If i am responsive to her yes/no game, moving to pet her when she indicates i can, stopping immediately when she seems to change her mind, then she knows she can trust me to understand her, and also to respect her choices. That's what i did, so then she knew she could trust me and relax around me and enjoy my company. She was actually a very friendly and social little cat, who clearly wanted to make friends with me.

But if i had insisted on trying to pet her when she seemed to change her mind instead of simply understanding that she didn't want to be pet in that moment, she would have known she couldn't trust me to understand or respect her, and she would have treated me like she has to treat 90% of the people who visit that house, evidently.

I work mostly with dogs these days, but i grew up with cats too, and am generally good with animals. Many shy animals will also do this same "sniff sniff okay touch me nope just kidding" routine, especially if they've had experiences with people that make establishing that kind of communication and trust important to them.

And in fact, a lot of animals will do some version of this kind of consent test in a whole variety of situations. When well socialized dogs do that thing where they are rough housing and then they both stop suddenly for a moment until one of them play bows or makes a little pouncing motion and then they fly back into rough housing mode, that's what they are doing, they are doing a consent check-in, like "whoah this is getting wild, are you still in? are we still playing, is this still a good time for you?"

anyway, that's why this lovely little cat followed me around asking me to pet her the whole time we were visiting that house, because i showed her that i understood her signals and respected her boundaries, which is something i see a lot of both men and women not doing when interacting with cats and dogs.

[mymarifae]

my favorite headcanon is that akito is a very physically affectionate guy. it's just second nature to him! but he also likes maintaining that sort of Tough Guy persona so if anyone ever points out his cuddly habits he gets really really really really really embarrassed. and denies it

but like. he's a hugger! hugs are hellos and goodbyes to him. he likes throwing an arm around a friend's shoulders while they walk together. he's the type to grab someone's hand to lead them somewhere and then just not let go. and he has a tendency to lean on people. like toya will just be standing there and then suddenly he'll have to support half of akito's weight because he came up behind him and pressed himself against his back and has his chin on his shoulder now

he also tends to gravitate towards kohane and start fussing with her hair because her pigtails get messy!! lots of fly aways and hat hair! vbs will be in the middle of planning a show and akito will just have kohane half pulled into his lap so he can fix her hair. he's not paying attention <3

and if someone sits next to him for a prolonged period of time he Will end up either draping his legs across their lap or he'll lay down and rest his head on their lap and maybe even fall asleep. for the latter though he has to be really comfortable with the person, so he usually only does it with vbs (kohane and toya end up with lap-napping-akitos more often than an does, but it's happened and will happen again in the future) And mizuki

akito is always the little spoon. 100%. this is a guy who likes to be held. he usually has a hard time falling asleep but if someone holds him or ^ again if he's laying on their lap and they play with his hair a little he's out like a light.

when toya first started sleeping over at the shinonomes' house he and akito would fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed, but he would wake up to akito curled up by his side and/or clinging to one of his arms. he didn't mind, but the first 2 times akito woke up and found himself so close to toya he freaked out and fell out of the bed. after the second time and learning that toya really didn't mind, akito relaxed and also started being more freely affectionate with him in general.

sleepytime cuddles are not a toya-exclusive thing. more than once during vbs sleepovers at an's place (i imagine they all drag out a few futons and pile them with blankets and pass out sprawled all over each other) he's ended up tucked in kohane's arms. this one is funny because kohane is tiny but in his sleep akito will curl up so he fits perfectly in her arms

on the other hand an is a VERY messy sleeper but he'll curl up as best as he can. one time he woke up like folded over her stomach because of how she flopped around during the night

he's affectionate with ena too!!!! when he was little he clung to her and until he got taller, ena would carry him around. like a lot. he was all about being carried. nowadays since things are awkward and difficult (but getting better!!) it manifests more as akito letting ena take him by the arm and (literally) drag him wherever. they're getting back into the habit of hugs, and akito will lean down to let ena kiss his forehead if she wants

and speaking of siblings: akito is soooo playful and affectionate with rin and len. when he visits the sekai they both tackle hug him and he'll laugh and hug them and swing them around and give them noogies and mess up their hair.. he lets them use him as their personal jungle gym basically. if rin decides she wants to hang off his arm and len decides to climb up onto his back in the middle of practicing who is he to stop either of them

and he'll be affectionate even with people he doesn't know very well. like when vbs was helping kohane, nene, ichika, and minori practice for that fan festival minori did something really well and he tousled her hair as a little "good job!" gesture and she still hasn't emotionally recovered

he's a sweetie. he has a lot of love in his heart and he can't keep it all in and so he's really really really affectionate!!!! but again if you point it out he'll get so flustered he won't be able to form a coherent sentence for 5-10 minutes.

in conclusion: the world's number one goofball ⬇️⬇️

[yooniesim]

AxA gets away with making the same crop tops and pairs of jeans for every CC pack and ppl really pay for it wow

the new pack looks really nice to me at first glance but there's a good amount of recycled items in it. by that I mean, a lot of meshes and textures that are from previous packs they've made.

items in the new pack on the left beside older items on the right. The hairs are inexcusable to me. the last one especially, it's literally the same hair as the latest one up for free on his page, just with the hairline moved over slightly. Literally doesn't even need new hair chops.

If it was free I'd have no complaints at all, but AH00B is literally making a minimum of $6,444 a month if all of his 3,222 patrons are there for his $2 early access. And if it wasn't for Ayoshi, it seems, patrons would be getting 3 hairs a month only. Can you imagine making 6K+ a month to make 3 small hair edits?

On that note though... AH00B/Austin has had me blocked since I answered this ask yesterday, saying that no one would call him out for still doing early access when it seemed EA had banned it (for fear of getting hate or blocked), without me ever interacting with him otherwise. Ironic, I know. Which was extra strange because Ayoshi and I were having a long conversation about clearing the air regarding the early access situation, and in the middle of that I realized I was blocked. I sat on it a bit, because I have to say that Ayoshi was extremely patient in his conversation with me and I truly believe he wanted to have a genuine discussion. But he is not the owner of the patreon and all the responsibility does not lie with him. Even if they are best friends, Ayoshi is not the one that should be handling this for him. And since then, Austin still has not unblocked me or made any move to indicate that he wants to discuss this with anyone or hear any sort of criticism. He has no obligation to speak with me or anyone else, but I can't understand how the air can be cleared if everyone involved isn't willing to communicate with one another, and Ayoshi was the one to reach out to me rather than the other way around.

I understand having anxiety and not wanting to be criticized. But this isn't drama. These people are running businesses, with a good amount of cash involved, but not wanting to actually manage their business. Business owners need to put out statements and hold high standards to match that of their customers, and if they don't, what happens? They go under. Even if the community itself doesn't matter to you, a time comes when you have to put your big boy pants on and do something to at least protect your income. Either by changing your model and actions or looking for another job. If EA's latest flip flopping made you panic, good. As I said in the DMs, it should be a wake-up call. And if getting criticism against your business is causing you such unrest and anxiety that you cannot eat, sleep, or function properly, you need to pause your patreon and cc making and seek help for you mental health immediately. If that's not the case, and you're still able to function here, you need to get a handle on your business.

I don't see Austin or any of the other top cc creators saying a word about any of the problems with early access, not even to call out the "bad ones" they like to point to so often to deflect from themselves. Within the past couple days, eacc creators have been sharing patron's personal information and setting crazy long "reasonable" time periods, and I haven't heard a word from any of them about it. Why? It doesn't matter to them. The community doesn't matter to them. Just like it didn't when exclusive creators were doxxing and harassing and all any eacc creator could do was say, "well that's awful, but I'm not like that, don't forget early access is okay and we're not scammers". They got more angry about someone making a list of everyone that was continuing early access, which was publicly available on each of their blogs, than they did about the list of patrons' private information being passed around. All that's important is avoiding criticism and protecting their bottom line, and it shows every time something like this happens.

It honestly makes me sad. Many of the creators that have acted the way we've seen in the past few days, are ones I previously admired. AH00B is a creator that I've downloaded almost all the cc of, and his hairs were some of the first I recolored when I first started making cc. I use his and Ayoshi's clothing often in lookbooks. But because I expressed disappointment in him and others over early access, I'm considered a hater that needs to be blocked and silenced. Sorry, but that doesn't work for me. If we can't speak privately, I have to at least make my thoughts known on my own blog.

I don't think users are getting anything better from him now that he's getting paid, than they were when he was creating for free. The content is repeatedly recycled, and not worth paying for in my opinion. There is no engagement with anyone here other than to promote patreon. I don't think he's an active member of this community whatsoever, and like I said in the DMs: these creators are not people I can consider friends or peers anymore. AH00B is not a simblr, it's a brand. Its only purpose here is to make money and nothing else. And because of that, I can no longer support it.

I highly recommend giving the [deleted] a read, because I express more of my thoughts on early access and its effect on the community there. I have no ill will towards Ayoshi or Austin, but I hope that they realize the community is tired of all this. It's been drained dry, and whether any of these creators want to believe it or not, it isn't going to last much longer.

Edit: Ayoshi asked me to remove the conversation between us, so the links have been removed.