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its-nebula · 4 years

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V3 Boys x Pregnant S/O in the Killing Game

Warning: DRV3 Spoilers

“S/O is what?!”

He panics and freaks out.

Calms down as soon as you tell him that you’ll get through it with him. It’s just all the more reason to survive.

“But Gonta… no can put child in this hell!”

He has a fire in his eyes that you honestly wouldn’t expect from him. You have to try your hardest to convince him not to fight Monokuma, out of fear of him being punished.

“Gonta will try to survive…for Gonta and S/O’s kid.”

He carries you everywhere from now on, not wanting you to strain yourself. If you ask, he puts you down, but will hold you and keep you close by.

During Class Trials, he immediately shuts any suspicion down.

“S/O can’t be culprit! Was with Gonta!”

You tell him to be wary of Kokichi, as you think Kokichi doesn’t have good intentions with your boyfriend. He just gives you a smile.

“Kokichi wants to end killing game just as much as Gonta!”

When all of you go in the simulation, Gonta makes sure you’re okay and that the baby’s okay. You don’t exactly look pregnant in the simulation, but he still makes sure. After that, he goes off to watch Kokichi, and you’re left to explore on your own.

To make a long story short, when Miu was killed, you noticed Kokichi giving you the side-eye, but didn’t say anything to him. You could tell he knew something that you didn’t.

During the Class Trial, the “Killing Game Busters” were revealed. You didn’t want to believe it was Gonta. You really didn’t. He would never hurt someone like that without a purpose…

“S/O, take care of Gonta’s baby. Gonta will be watching over you and baby!”

You sobbed as you watched his execution. The father of your child was burned alive, and he was never coming back.

Instantly, you unleashed all your rage onto Kokichi and his crocodile tears. Several people had to pull you off of him, claiming that the stress wouldn’t be good for the baby.

Besides, you could hit Kokichi with all the punches in the world, but nothing would bring him back…

Laughs when you tell him about it.

Laughs the second time you tell him about it.

“It is even funnier the second time!”

Doesn’t laugh the third time.

“Wait a minute. You can’t be serious-?!”

Hope you valued your alone time while it lasted, because that is now a thing of the past!

MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE!

Lets everyone know that they’re not even allowed near you. He keeps you in his room at all times, you barely even get to sleep in your own bed anymore.

He only really lets you out during Class Trials, and even then he convinces Monokuma to put his podium next to yours.

Constantly talks about how happy he is that he’s going to be a father, to the point everybody knows. Even the Monokubs are a little bit annoyed. So much for keeping it a secret.

“Hmm, nope! It can’t be me, sorry! I was too busy spending time with my child and my girlfriend~”

His logic is that since you’re pregnant, maybe nobody would kill you because they would feel too bad, so he doesn’t really mind screaming it to the world.

The longer the game goes on, though, the more fucked up things he feels compelled to do, in his efforts to try and stop the killing game.

You practically scream at him when he pretends to be dead.

“Aw, don’t worry your pretty little head! I’m alright, aren’t I?”

Maki keeps sending her threats for him to you.

“If you want to raise the child with a stable 2-Parent family, I suggest you calm your boyfriend down.”

During the fifth trial, things are very tense. Either way, your boyfriend was either dead or going to die. You knew it was all a part of his scheme, but you still thought this was a step too far.

When Kaito was revealed in the Exisal, you bawled your eyes out.

Even as Shuichi explained Kokichi’s thought process, it made nothing better.

You didn’t even get to say goodbye…

And your child would never meet his father.

Wait, you’re what?

Oh no.

In a killing game?!

Oh no.

And he’s the father???

Oh NO.

You’re surprised that he doesn’t faint, by the way he’s acting.

“S/O, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, really!”

You tell him that it’s okay, because you know he’ll make a great parent. You’ve made him a little more confident, but not by a lot.

“We should probably keep this a secret for now. You can never really be too careful in these circumstances.”

Everyone can tell something’s off with him, because he gets really bad Couvade syndrome.

He still tries to help you as much as he can. If you’re craving something he brings you it almost immediately.

If your stomach moves even a tiny bit, he assumes the baby is coming even though he knows better. You have to tell him that it’s only a kick and he needs to take it down a couple of notches.

“Heh…sorry.”

His anxiety is through the ROOF.

Still tries to work on it. He’s got to be strong for you.

Trains with Kaito to help him become stronger, and brings you along with him.

“Hey Shuichi, don’t you think S/O might want to train with us?”

“It’s okay Kaito, S/O gets really sleepy during this time.”

Tries his hardest during class trials. He can’t afford to take shit from anybody and risk getting you killed. Hits the killers with the hard facts and evidence.

Investigates with you by his side.

“Now the baby can see his father in action!”

At the 6th Trial, he reveals your pregnancy, even though Tsumugi already knew.

Nobody else did. How? Guess they weren’t paying attention to your ever-increasing stomach.

When everyone ducks under rocks, Shuichi shields you with his body for extra protection. After the two of you make it out alive, along with Maki and Himiko, the 4 of you go off to start a new life together.

“WHAAAATTTT?!”

Thinks you cheated on him.

He’s very hurt.

You spend almost an hour convincing him that he’s the only one you’ve ever been with. He still doesn’t really believe it, but there’s only one thing to do.

The two of you consult Miu to figure out what in the hell is going on.

“Miu! I never wanted to actually have sperm and be able to create life! Now our child is going to be born in such horrible conditions!”

“Well, be more fuckin’ clear next time, and wrap it up when you get your dick wet, why don’t you?!”

Looks on the bright side.

He was able to get you pregnant, something no other robot was able to do before! That’s a complete win!

You’re still stuck in this school, though, and this was no place to raise a child.

“Robots aren’t allowed to hurt humans, and I can’t risk you killing someone and losing the trial…”

He helps you the best that he can. He gives you any medicine that he can find, and he lets you use him as a heating pad.

Scans daily to see your state of health. Sometimes more than necessary…

“I just did this scan 5 minutes ago? Oh, I hadn’t noticed…”

Takes pictures of your stomach every day to monitor your growth.

Kokichi always makes fun of the two of you.

“Well, I guess that answers my question! Robots do have dicks! Hey S/O, was it all cold and metallic?”

“…that’s not funny.”

When it was revealed during the 6th Trial about Danganronpa, he was conflicted.

The voices in his head– the audience– told him all different things. He was tired, he just wanted to be free. He didn’t want your child to grow up in a world like this.

“S/O, if this continues, and the kid we created joins a future season, I’d never forgive myself. It’s time to end this. Please, when you see them, let them know their father loves them so.”

He sacrificed himself by blowing up the school. As he saw his friends and his significant other huddled beneath a rock, he grinned, knowing they were going to be okay.

Scoffs.

“Well, that’s just my luck that I would cause you to have to bring a new life into this horrible world.”

He’s honestly pretty upset over the whole thing for at least a couple days.

But then he realizes it; he can raise them to be better than he ever was or had a chance at being. He can teach them to do better.

This makes him happy, and he apologizes for being so stand-offish.

“Looks like… we’ve still got a ways to go.”

When the two of you lay down together, he always lays down in a way that his ear is directly pressed against you stomach.

He talks to the child a lot.

“Don’t worry, little one. We’ll get you and everyone else out of here and to safety. I love you so much.”

Truth be told, he’s a little scared that he’s a threat to the kid. After what happened in his past, what happened to his family, what happened to his lover…

You tell him to try to not think about it, and you know that he’s learned from the past.

The two of you only tell a couple people that you trust; namely, Shuichi and Kirumi. They’re both really happy for you!

Kirumi helps out a lot by getting you whatever you need for the day. She doesn’t get at all bothered by your morning sickness, and even offers to clean.

After the motive videos come out, Ryoma watches his and though he’s a little hurt, it doesn’t stop his determination to leave.

While she’s cleaning Ryoma’s room, Ryoma confides in her for advice.

“I feel like…I won’t be enough for our kid. Look at me now, I’m nothing more than an empty shell. I just… want to be enough for our family.”

SLAM!

Ryoma fell to the ground with a light thud, and that was the last anybody ever heard from him.

Crying out as you saw the piranhas tear away his flesh, you fainted on the spot.

You didn’t even have time to investigate, because the Class Trial had started.

You appreciated how seriously Kirumi was taking this trial. She kept making glances at you, but you assumed it was because she felt bad that your child would have to be without a father.

Until…

No, it couldn’t be. She’d gained your trust, only to betray you in the end? What kind of sick joke was this?!

As she was executed, you looked down at your stomach, rubbing it.

“Looks like we’ve still got a ways to go, kid…”

Wildly switching between happy, sad, and terrified.

On the one hand, he’s happy to be a father to your child. You were the love of his life, and he wanted to do his part and take care of the kid.

On the other hand, when you tell him the news, he paces back and forth, trying to find a way to get you to be as safe as possible. He already survived one killing game, how hard could it be to let the two of you be the last survivors again?

He asked Monokuma to see if you could have the easy way out.

“Monokuma, I know you probably want me to still participate, but my girlfriend, she’s pregnant now, so can you please just-”

“Puhuhuhu~! All applications made are final, buddy! It looks like we may just have another member in a short 9 months! Well, the more the merrier!”

Shit.

After that “lovely” conversation, Rantaro was more determined than ever to find a way out of the game.

He’d already lost his sisters, and he wouldn’t dream of losing you and the child too.

When the countdown motive for the first murder is introduced, he parts with you for just a few minutes, to record the videos that you and your other classmates would later find. He wanders in the library in order to do something, but he’s distracted when a shot put ball falls behind him. As he goes to pick it up, he’s struck in the back of the head.

Finding his body, you wanted to throw up, and not from morning sickness.

Nobody knew of your pregnancy yet, so nobody really knew how deep into despair you’d fallen.

Though, they still felt sorry for you, because it was obvious the two of you were together.

You didn’t feel right being angry at Kaede when she was revealed as the culprit, especially as she showed deep remorse.

“I didn’t mean it, S/O. I’m so sorry…”

Tears pricked your eyes as she was snatched back by the chains.

You forgive her.

Over the moon at first.

Yes, that’s a pun. Shut up, I know it’s bad.

This man is DANCING while he’s celebrating.

“WOO! I”M GONNA BE A FATHER!”

He’s loud enough that everyone knows within 10 minutes of you telling him.

Well.

When he has some alone time, he frowns to himself. He’s sick, What if he doesn’t live long enough to see their smiling face for the first time? Hear their first laugh?

These invasive thoughts clouded his mind, as he started to cough up blood.

“D-Damn it…”

Kaito decided not to tell you, not just because he’s an idiot, but he doesn’t want you to stress and possibly cause damage to the child.

He talks to your stomach everyday.

“What’s up, my little star!”

He’s extremely proud and isn’t afraid to show you off.

The more ill he gets, the more hope he has that you’ll be just fine. You have to be!

After he’s locked in the bathroom, he tries to find a way out. Any way out, he needed to make sure you were safe. Kokichi couldn’t keep him locked up forever!

When he and Kokichi make their deal, he does it in your interest.

“If Monokuma can’t solve the murder, I’ll finally get to walk out of here and start my family! Right?!”

But their plan failed. As you watched his execution, you screamed, pounding on the screen, begging Monokuma to let him go, please. You’d do anything! Soon, his coughing got worse, and he was soon on the ground, pink all around him. He’d died of his own accord.

You smiled happily at the bittersweet moment. He died of his own accord, no longer a part of Monokuma’s twisted game.

You knew he was above, watching you from the stars.

“Did you say you’re pregnant…? My, what an interesting turn of events!”

Did this man just say it was interesting?

You told him that this was serious, and that you needed to find a way out of here now.

“Keheehee... you don’t really think I’d let anything happen to you, do you? It’s clear Monokuma won’t let us go, even under these circumstances. Besides, I have my own kin developing inside your body, you need extra attention now!”

He will literally give you a tsunami of compliments everyday about how your body seems to be handling the pregnancy.

“S/O, your body is just so radiant today!”

Tells you stories about motherhood in other cultures.

Knows the best herbal remedies to calm symptoms such as headaches or nausea.

Nervous that you keep having to go to the bathroom, guides you there and back.

You really don’t know why he completely lost his shit by killing Angie and Tenko.

You convinced yourself that it was because of the oppressive student council, but why Tenko?

As he revealed his true self, you were horrified. He...was a serial killer?

The Korekiyo you came to love was a serial killer?

You were thrown into despair as you came to terms with his true colors. Nothing made sense anymore. Not only was your boyfriend and father of your first-born child dead, but he’d been batshit insane this entire time?

Maybe the next time you see red rope and hear a promise of “pleasure like you’ve never experienced”, you’ll politely decline.

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beauty-grace-outer-space · 4 years

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Ok... update.

My dad came home Thursday night, on Christmas Eve, be wouldn’t look at or talk to us. He accidentally entered a room we were in (not knowing we were in there) and immediately just turned around and walked back out. That night, while my mom was still up and about getting ready for bed, he turned off all the lights. My mom got the dog and came to sleep in my room with me.

The next morning, he still wasn’t talking to us. We ended up each in a different room, doing nothing. I waited until about 1PM and then thought, “You know what, if he’s just going to pout downstairs all day, mom and I are going to have Christmas” and I moved all of my mine and my mom’s gifts into my room (where I have a tree). I made cookies, and set up a little snacks platter. I turned on Christmas lights and Christmas music. I put the Yule Log burning up on my tv, and I told my mom to come with me.

When she saw it all, she teared up and said, “I just don’t know what the right thing is to do.”

At this point, my dad decided he wanted to talk. We went out to the living room and he proceeded to tell us that we “really hurt him” by not “checking on where he was the last two days” and “now taking away Christmas” when “he didn’t do anything wrong” and that he “wanted us to apologize and acknowledge that we could have stopped that at any time if we had just stopped when he told us to” and that while all of the destruction to the house was “childish behavior”, it’s really our fault for “pushing him to that point.”

And I immediately said, “Well, that’s not going to happen, so.”

At this point, it devolved into an argument of him saying the same thing over and over again and me saying, “You can say whatever you want, but you storming through the house breaking shit is in no way my fault.”

He tried a lot of different tactics, “This is just what men do” to which I replied that I didn’t know anyone else who’s dad got angry, threw a glass at them, punched a hole in the wall, knocked the closet doors off the hinges, bailed for two days, and then had the gall to come back and demand an apology.

He reiterated that it was my fault it happened and, “what did I expect when I push him to that point and then don’t stop when he asks me to?” I told him it wouldn’t have mattered what I did, because we always wind up back at this point anyway, but I am not responsible for his behavior. When he tried to push it I said, “How many times have you reduced me to screaming and tears and I have never once broken anything in response.”

He tried to get my mom on his side, telling her he was hurt that she didn’t even try to stop me from pushing him like that, and I told him to leave her out of it because a: she didn’t say a word, I was the one “pushing him” and b: that’s part of the problem, that he doesn’t view me as an adult. I repeated that I’m 28 years old and no one gets to tell me when I’m allowed to speak, how I’m allowed to speak, etc. I can say what I want when I want, and while that sometimes may have consequences, it doesn’t justify domestic abuse.

At that point he scoffed and started in with the usual, that I’m just a liberal idiot and I’ve got these misinformed ideas about everything and that wasn’t abuse, you should see what other men do to their families. I just cut him off and sarcastically said, “Oh so that makes it ok. You didn’t hit me, you just threw a glass at me, ok then.”

Then he tells me that he didn’t throw it at me, if he had thrown it at me, it would have hit me. I said, (again sarcastically) “Oh good, very reassuring.”

I told him that there is nothing he can say that will make me believe that what happened was my fault, and that he needs to know that he crossed a line, because what happened was inexcusable bullshit and I will never forgive it.

This continued for a while, he tried to pretend that he’s kept a lock on his temper for 30 years and that I somehow just hit the trigger point and it’s my fault. I told him that he does this shit all the time. He asked for examples. I gave him some. He told me they never happened and that I was just making things up in my theatrical brain again.

My mom stepped in and said that no, he really does do this stuff all the time (to lesser degrees).

He somehow decided to talk about the Black Lives Matter poster I have up in my window and how embarrassing it is for him, and how his friends have all told him they would have kicked me out of the house but he won’t censor me like that, etc. and I told him that he still does, all the time. Because we’re either only allowed to agree with him, or to sit in silence, but never to say what we think. If we say nothing, he gets mad. If we say what we think, he gets mad. We’re not allowed to speak, and that is censorship.

And then he pulled out the cliche, tried and true: “In my own fucking house, that I fucking pay for, I get to say what I think, and if you don’t like it, you can go out there and think whatever you want.”

And I said, “I am, I have an interview tomorrow for an apartment.”

After a lot of this, he said we should just stop because clearly we’re never going to get anywhere, and I told him that he’s been saying that for years and look where we are, so what’s the alternative.

After like two hours of this back and forth, I got him to agree to anger management because my mom chimed in and said that, yes, he’s always angry about something and it’s miserable, and that she and I basically walk on eggshells about everything from shows we watch to conversations being had to decorating the house to music we listen to, the list goes on and on.

He told me not to “put myself in a financially stressful situation” by moving out when he’s going to work on his issues and “I can’t afford it”. I told him that I can afford it and while I can appreciate that he’s willing to work on, not to do it for me to do it for my mom and their marriage, because I’m done. I ended up sobbing and basically just blubbered out that I’m done, I’m exhausted, and I feel like as long as I’m here the tension is going to be here because he and I are such fundamentally different people. He tried a few comments about “when you make a real budget you’ll see--” etc. but I’ve done the math, I’ve looked at it with my mom, my mom is 100% on board with whatever I want to do and willing to cosign things if needed (though I doubt it) and I’m slowly making my peace with it. And I told them to look into marriage counseling.

I’ve got an interview tonight for one apartment that I love, and another person looking for a roommate replied to me this morning, so I’ve got a few options. Hopefully I get the first one, because it’s less than 5 minutes away and my mom already said she’s happy to meet up with me daily if needed (which sounds insane but honestly my mom is my favorite person in the world and my best friend). I sat her down and told her to be really honest with me and to tell me what she needed to happen because I’d bail on getting an apartment and get a place with her in a heartbeat. She said she’s ok, and actually super shocked and impressed that my dad agreed to anger management, and apparently he pulled her aside later and asked if they needed to look into marriage counseling and asked her to let him know if they did because he’ll do it.

We ended up opening Christmas presents around 5PM, and eating spaghetti for dinner, and then I hit a point of such total exhaustion that I physically could not stop crying. from like 7-10 I was just bawling. I asked my mom to come sit with me and watch a show so I could try to calm down and go to sleep, and I drank some water and took a sleep aid.

And now it is morning, and the tension in the house has noticeably decreased, and I’m am still so tired I can barely function. But I’m probably moving within the next few weeks, and I’m trying to be excited about that.

#abuse tw #domestic violence tw #an update #long post #not trek #it speaks

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scottymcgeesterwrites · 3 years

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My First Act of Violence

It happened so long ago now that I don’t remember how old I was or what grade I was in. Hell, maybe it didn’t even happen. Maybe it’s an apocryphal story. Whatever it was – it meant something to me. It happened a long time ago in one of those sprawling indoor playgrounds called Discovery Zone, either that or a local place called Fuzzy’s, where many of my friends hosted their birthday parties in. If you have no idea what any of this is because you’re a zoomer, indoor playgrounds used to be a thing back in the day that was really cool until we realized that ball pits were festering with germs. Then again, maybe that was a good thing because it theoretically trained our personal microbiomes at an early age so we wouldn’t have so many autoimmune diseases, but that’s another post for another time.

Anyway, these places were the bomb. Discovery Zone in particular was always my favorite. They had more than just ball pits. They had tunnel mazes, jungle gyms, rope bridges that made me think I was in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and this pseudo-zipline thing that I was always afraid of but did it anyway because the excitement was worth it. This one time, I crawled alone through the tunnel maze and found a trampoline. I bounced around, nonchalantly, until I realized that someone was crying.

This girl stood huddled in the corner crying her eyes out, face beet-red and filled with tears. She had short brown or black hair, and she wore this dress with sneakers. This was the early 90’s, so we actually had the time to dress up our children instead of throwing on sweatshirts and sweatpants and calling it a day as we rush to our second dead-end job.

I asked her what was wrong. She took a while to respond because she was crying so much that she could hardly speak. Then she told me that a boy pulled her hair and pushed her to the floor. He might have also hit her. Point is, he hurt her. The detail about the pulling of the hair always stuck in my mind the most because I knew what that felt like. My father did it to me all the time when I misbehaved.

I stood there idle, not sure what to do. I knew I wanted to do something but maybe there was nothing I could do. I ended up asking anyway, “What does he look like?” At the very least, I could be on the lookout for him.

She described him as wearing glasses and with blond hair. Very vague but those were the two main things I remembered about him.

“Okay,” I said.

I crawled back through the tunnels looking for a blond haired kid with glasses. I wandered for only a couple minutes until I reached a four-way junction. I stopped to think about where to go when I turned my head and suddenly came face-to-face with a blond haired kid with glasses.

Right away I asked, “Did you hit that girl?”

He laughed. “Yeah.” The goddamn fucker actually laughed.

So I punched him in the face. Right on the nose. He instantly collapsed after crying out in pain. I remember my eardrums hurting since his face was so close to me so he practically screamed in my ear. I then crawled away, not looking back. His cries echoed throughout the maze. I kind of just walked out of the maze after that like nothing had happened. I don’t even remember going back to the girl and saying like, “I got him” or anything like that. I just fucking punched a bad kid in the face. Okay. Time to move on with life.

Of course, the kid’s mother had something to say about it. I was wandering around the ground floor when I heard a woman shout, “Hey you! What did you do to my son?”

I turned around and faced her. The blond haired kid was holding her hand and bawling his eyes out. At that moment I fully realized how badly I had fucked him up. I had broken his glasses and his nose bled profusely, staining his shirt. He was pointing me out and saying that I was the one who hit him. The rest was a blubbering mess of words.

“Why did you punch my son?” she screamed. Literal scream, as if her son were dying in her arms.

I said nothing. I just froze there with a dumb look on my face. I realized that my parents weren’t with me at the moment. I had this sudden realization that I didn’t have to answer to her. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted in that moment. She didn’t know my name or where I lived or who my mother was.

So I tuned the other way and bolted.

“Come back here!” she cried. When you’re a kid, everything feels as tall as the Empire State Building. Everyone just towers above you. The panic started to set in, the adrenaline pumping, but was too young to really grasp it. I just knew I had to run and hide and not get in trouble. I knew I could shake her off by running back into the maze, where parents weren’t allowed, and then resurface when the coast was clear and return to my mother.

And that’s exactly what happened. I was really nervous when I met up with my mother. I kept looking over my shoulder and I told her that I wanted to leave. She was surprised and thought I was sick or something, but I knew that if I hung around long enough they would find me again. Worse yet, if they caught me with my mother then three people would be mad at me. I never actually stopped to think about what my mother would say if I got caught and had to explain myself. Would she have believed me? Would she have not believed that mother and caused a greater scene?

I held onto that memory for so long, so hard.

That boy was one of those people who laughed. They thought they had the world made out for them and could step on anybody. And then some fucker comes along and ruins it for them. It invigorated me. I got high off of that feeling - ruining some asshole’s day.

#onlife #discovery zone #memories #memoirs #childhood #childhood memories #millennial #Millennials #kids #children #bullying #bully #harrassment #violence

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ask-spider-man-61610 · 4 years

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15. A heartbreaking memory

...I might as well tell the rest of the story, huh? As if you don’t already know it.

So, I had spider powers. And, for the first time in my life, a little bit of agency. After being bullied for my entire life in school up to that point, powerless to fight back against my assailants and furious about it, you’d think I’d have some respect for what I’d gained, huh? “A weak man knows the value of strength” or whatever that one guy said? Ha.

After my first two days or so of aimlessly experimenting with my powers, I caught wind of a fight club that often hosted mutants or the subjects of back-alley superpowered experiments. (I would find out why this fight club existed, and also who the fuck was conducting those experiments, only after all this shit happened.) Most mutations and experiments have...less than beneficial results, so I kicked ass that first night. It was probably the greatest adrenaline rush of my life up to then. Puny Parker had always wanted to get even with his bullies, had always wanted to take out some goddamn aggression on something--and when I did, when I finally could, I felt untouchable. I felt wonderful. I felt like the world had finally started to pay me some dividends, and I had the right to do whatever I wanted with what I’d been given.

I also felt--as I had for quite some time by then--that I had no reason to care about the world or the people in it. I was through being pushed around. I was through giving a fuck about people who had done nothing for me.

So when, after leaving the fight club that night, I saw a guy taking off full-sprint from a drugstore with the store owner running after yelling for me to stop that thief, I took a step back and watched the guy run right by me and take off in his car.

After the resultant argument I had with the owner, I almost forgot about the incident for the next week. But in that week I was making nightly trips to the fight club--always with a ski mask, of course--and just wrecking everyone. I was a pretty bad liar at the time, so May and Ben both were starting to realize that I wasn’t going where I told them I was going every evening, and when they confronted me on it I brushed them off with another lie. There was no way I was gonna tell them I was throwing hands in a fight club, but Uncle Ben offered to pick me up when I was done with my “project” for the night, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I lied to him about where exactly to wait, and directed him to a parking lot about five blocks away from where I was actually going.

I left the fight club that night to find him dead in that parking lot.

The paramedics and witnesses said that a carjacker shot him in a scuffle. A guy tried to pull him out of his car, Ben fought back, a gun came out. Apparently the guy kinda recoiled after the gunshot, like he hadn’t meant to actually pull the trigger, and burned rubber out of the lot. A witness had seen the license plate and passed it onto the police, and even as they gave me this recap they had people looking for it.

Not that any of this got through to me. I was too busy bawling. But eventually I overheard a cop’s radio announce that they had found the car and were chasing it through Brooklyn, and I felt something in me go hot and sharp. I remember the cops yelling for me to wait a second as, crying and shaking, I ran from the scene, and once I’d ducked into an alley and out of sight I pulled my ski mask on and took to the rooftops. I ran until my legs burned, chasing police sirens, all the while feeling foam on my lips and a feral hatred consuming my heart. I followed the sirens to a condemned apartment building and, lit only by the light of the moon, leaped onto the roof and tore my way inside.

Rarely have I felt more like my eventual namesake then when I was following that heartbeat through the walls and the floor, like a spider following the vibration of a struggling fly through its web. I made no effort at stealth, so by the time I got to the room he’d holed himself up in he knew I was there too, and so when I appeared in the doorway he was pressed against the opposite wall, his gun pointed directly at me.

We stared at each other for maybe a second, neither of us able to see much past our silhouettes in the dim light. Maybe I moved first, maybe he just flinched, but I felt that high and sharp tingle of move before the gun went off and I dodged like it was second nature. Then I remember the roar in my throat as I charged.

The crack of his bones and the scream of his pain were probably audible from outside. I broke both his arms like twigs, threw the gun through the wall, and brought both my fists down on his chest in a move that shattered most of his rib cage. His sobbing and screaming pissed me off, so I broke his jaw so badly that he never spoke without wincing again. He tried to kick himself away in desperation, and I broke one of his legs before picking him up and slamming him against the wall, splattering his blood across the wallpaper. I remember how every punch I threw just made me angrier, how the smell of his blood put a sick feeling in my stomach, how I wanted to take everything from him, wanted to end this monster who’d killed an innocent man--

And then a police spotlight hit the window. And I remember the horror of my recognition.

I don’t need to tell you that it was the same thief who I’d let run by me a week before. The same shitty bleached hair, the same freckles, the same stupid cheekbones now thoroughly rearranged by my fury. I stared down at the man in my hands, bloody and broken, barely breathing, and felt all the hatred and vengeance I’d felt that night break away from me, leaving me with my naked grief. Worse than that, I felt it turn inward. I’d let him go. I’d chosen to do nothing. I was at fault, I was the reason Ben was dead, I was as much of a monster as the one who’d pulled the trigger. I remember dropping Carradine--that was his name, I later learned, Dennis Carradine--and stumbling backwards, my vision blurring with sudden tears, hearing the question echo in my head: Why didn’t you stop him?

I don’t recall leaving the building. The next thing I remember is just running full-tilt across rooftops, trying to get as far away from what I’d done as possible. I couldn’t, of course. No matter how fast I was I couldn’t outrun that face, or my guilt. Eventually my legs collapsed under me and I tumbled into a heap on a rooftop, shaking and sobbing and screaming with grief. I tore my ski mask off, unable to breathe through the waterlogged fabric, and could barely stop crying long enough to inhale. I stayed there for a long, long time, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket as Aunt May tried again and again to reach me, feeling myself drown in what I’d done. In my quieter moments, even nine years later, I can still feel myself drowning.

I know that a lot of Peter Parkers become the heroes they should’ve been all along then and there. Understanding what they’d allowed, understanding too late the responsibility that these powers imply, they resolve to use them to help people at once, and some of them start saving people that very night. In a lot of universes, this is the moment that “Spider-Man” is born.

Not here. Not in this universe. It would take me weeks--months, even--to turn that grief and guilt into something that didn’t feel like poison. No, that night I just broke, and bawled, and drowned.

#immaaxolotl #origin story #Spider-Man #Peter Parker #Specs #ask #story

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aki-draws-things · 4 years

Text

NaNoWriMo 2020 #09

That fic should have some warning tags for implied rape and abuse, (and i’ve tagged it.) but rest assured i didn’t described a single thing. I don’t write smut so I’ll just limit myself to let it be implied it happened.

As the other chapters too, characters are most definitely OOC. I won’t use the Nano challenge to make a study on them and figure out their voices, I just let the stories come out, I still wish to apologize for that. I’m still trying my best to make those fics nice and entraining enough.

(Next three days will be connected and finally angst will punch us straight in the face! :D Is someone ready as I am?)

Day: 09/11/2020

Prompt: dirty secret

Ship: None official

Word Count: 2192

"Shi-ge!" if anyone would connect the excited voice to the one and only uptight Jin ZiXuan, that wouldn't be the Jiang siblings. None of them, even though Jiang YanLi always said that there was more than a stern look underneath, but it was her heart speaking, her brothers were sure of that. They turned in time to see Nie HuaiSang and Jin ZiXuan colliding against a taller man who easily grabbed them before they could risk tumbling over. That was a weird sight, mad weirder by the knowledge that nothing strange went around cloud recesses to make them act like that. Well, perhaps nie HuaiSang had a valid reason to behave like that, they found out a little later, the man was, in fact, his older brother, leader of the Nie sect. Yes, huaisang could act like that and throw himself at him. But the Jin peacock?

When he was little, Jin ZiXuan, knew nothing about hate. Many people seemed to despise and hate his father and he couldn't figure out the reason not even . if he tried. Maybe he wasn't the most open and affectionate man, maybe he didn't spend much time with his family as other fathers did, but that wasn't enough to hate him.

Then one day two boys were taken in Jinlintai, dressed in a dusty dark gray robe the older and a cream one the younger who looked roughly his age, his father said they would now live there and Zixuan nodded eagerly. He would finally have someone to play with that wasn't his annoying cousin. But why did the two boys look so sad? Didn't they like the palace? Or their rooms? Or the new, better clothes? Jin zixuan was confused.

The older one locked in his room for hours, studying dutifully. Or he went to the training ground among the older Jin disciples, with a sword much bigger than theirs, and trained until the sun set and the younger one left their plays to run fetch him and drag him back to his room. Back and forth. Every day.

He scowled and snarled angrily at his father for reasons Jin zixuan didn't understand. Maybe their parents never taught them to be polite? But he was so kind and caring with his little brother.

"A-die and A-niang are gone." the younger, Huaisang, explained to him once.

"gone? Gone where? Are they coming back?"

Huaisang scrolled his shoulders.

"I don't know. Da-ge always says gone."

It would take a couple more years for him to understand what gone meant. His lips trembled as he tried not to cry.

"why are you crying?" the older, mingjue, asked. "it's not your family to be dead."

"but it's sad, shi-ge…" he bawled softly against his chest. Huaisang crawled on him and hid his face against the neck over the golden robes. "I don't like shi-ge and shidi sad." Huaisang started crying too and soon enough nie mingjue found himself having to pick both of them in his arms and go back to the palace.

"then stop crying, silly boy."

One thing Jin guangshan didn't know the day he gladly took the two nie boys in his sect was the truth about the older one. He didn't complain when the Nie sect elders came to him and asked for his protection after their master died too early, on the contrary. Having some sort of power over Qinghe would make him greater, even almost compared to the wen sect now. He was surprised the older son of the Nie leader didn't take over his sect. He was Sixteen, old enough to lead them. Or so the world thought. The elders gave him vague answers, how nie mingjue while having a high cultivation was unfit to lead them, really, Jin guangshan never complained. He couldn't see the unfitting things they supposedly talked about but it was fine for him. He had power, he was in control of one of the main sects and he only had to thank wen ruohan for that. In the public eyes he was going to teach nie mingjue and raise him to become one day the great leader he was. In truth he meant to keep his grasp on Qinghe for as long as possible and there was an easy way to ensure that.

A child.

It had been two years since the Nie brothers came to Lanling and jin guangshan secretly took great pride and pleasure in having unfold one of the greatest secrets the Nies were keeping. The younger one, with his poor cultivation and his innocent mind, with his liking for pretty songbirds and for arts was in fact, a young girl.

Still too young, he reminded himself, but in a couple of years she would be old enough to bear his children and at that point her brother could do nothing but leave the power to him if he didn't want all the affair to be exposed.

Yes, Jin guangshan prided himself in his knowledge.

But when he went to inform nie mingjue of said knowledge and his plans he almost didn't believe his eyes.

He almost lost his eyes to a double hairpin.

It took him a couple of minutes to realize he had been wrong, that explained even better the reasons nie mingjue didn't take his clan in hand. He couldn't. The Nie sect, just as most of the main sects, had always been led by men. Lan Yi tried once, but never succeeded. Leading wasn't a woman's duty after all. They were weak. Unfit.

"get out before I carve your eyes out." he, she, threatened him, chest now covered with a loose robe and fresh clean bandages scattered over the bed. Jin guangshan should have been afraid, he knew the strength nie mingjue had all too well, he saw him her defeat his best disciples in training, even the older ones. And look at that. She was a girl.

Jin guangshan barely remembered nie MingJue's mother, she was undoubtedly strong, and her eyes had a gold hue when she was angry. Mingjue probably took her high cultivation from her. Still, unfit to leadership.

"You won't." he simply said. Closed the door behind himself and took a step closer looking closer at the body before him. She was pretty, after all. Perhaps with the right kind of clothing it would be easy to hide the larger shoulders, a different hairstyle would make her look more feminine, even eligible for marriage.

His plansw changed.

"I was wrong." he admitted, a hand reaching to take a strand of hair. Nie mingjue stepped back. "you know, I thought little huaisang was the girl, I would have never imagined. But now that I know I notice all the little things. It's quite obvious."

"no it's not." nie mingjue growled. “There’s nothing obvious because you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Defensive, Jin GuangShan thought. Desperate to keep herself safe. She wouldn’t be easy to tame, too wild, just as most Nies, but the reward would be even greater if, when, he would succeed.

“Oh, but I’m not here to judge you, Miss Nie. - Nie MingJue sprinted forward, he pushed Jun GuangShan against the wall hand held a hairpin between his eyes, definitely not afraid to use it. He remained calm. - I can understand why you never mentioned it. You, a woman, unable to lead your clan at your father’s too early death. Your brother, still too little, his cultivation too poor. The Nie Sect is destined to fall.”

Nie MingJue wasn't to speak back, to say once more he was a man, no matter what his body would say, he had always been a man ever since he had memory, and as such both his parents and HuaiSang's mother raised him. As the one he truly was.

“Sometimes the reincarnation cycle get messed up a little. Sometimes the heavens like to test our strength in order to make us stronger.”

“Why do they like it? It’s not fun! It’s painful.” Nie MingJue complained.

“Because they have yet to learn, - His father said fastening a braid on his head. - That us humans will find a way to defy them. There’s nothing wrong in the way you are or you feel.”

“It’s unbalanced.”

“And then you find your own way to balance it. Show them not to mess up with us Nies.” Yue HuangShui laughed and Nie MingJue followed their worlds ever since.

“But I have a way to prevent it.” Jin GuangShan’s voice brought him back to reality. There was something in his look that MingJue didn’t like, something that screamed at him bot to trust him.

“What?” His voice came out strangled and almost shy, he shuddered as the Jin Leader moved closer, his hand opening the robe just enough to expose his skin.

“A rightful heir.”

Nie MingJue always cried more than his little brother Huaisang, that was common knowledge for most people who knew them. He did his best to look stern when outside in public, he took every hit and every hint and let them build up inside of him only to explode when he was finally alone.

“Rightful my ass.” He muttered in anger and frustration some months later when he found his usual robe was too tight and uncomfortable and he settled for something loose.

“If he dares to set foot in the Unclean Realms I’m going to throw him down the walls.” He threw a warmer robe over his shaking shoulders, as he emptied a bowl outside. His qi rattled along with his anger and he ended up feeling sick once more.

Maybe in that way he would get rid of — No.

He fell on his knees, hands pressed over his mouth in shock. How could he even think that? What kind of monster would ever think that.tears fell and he curled up on himself.

“Shi-ge, do you still feel sick? Do I have to call a healer?” He yelled at Jin ZiXuan too Levi him alone.

“Da-ge you need to eat something.” Nie Huaisang put his head inside the room and looked at where his brother was curled on the floor. “I have soup.”

“And fruit.” ZiXuan chimed in, a plate held carefully on a tray next to a steaming bowl. “I’ve asked A-Fu to cut some bunnies in the apples!”

“I’m not hungry.” They left the tray inside the room and with a look at each other they left.

“Shi-ge…” Jin ZiXuan called sleepily. “Jue-gege…” He poked at his cheek until he finally woke up to find the young Jin heir with a consumed candle and a blanket standing next to his bed, Huaisang sleeping soundly on his own bed against the wall.

“What A-Xuan?” He yawned and the boy climbed on the bed next to him holding the blanket at his chest.

“Do you like A-Xuan?” Nie MingJue nodded, not in the right mood for that kind of conversation, and neither was ZiXuan, both too sleepy for that.

“Will you like Meimei too?”

“How can you say it will be a little girl?” He asked, voice softening as ZiXuan bended over and curled over his chest and stomach.

“No stealing Da-ge…” Huaisang slurred climbing on the now crowded bed and fast falling back asleep.

“I’d like a little sister. - He revealed closing his eyes. - but a little brother would be nice too. A-Xuan will like him anyway. A lot lot.”

When the time came Nie MingJue almost refused to look at the little things crying at the top of her lungs. He managed to ignore her for three whole minutes before feeling his chest tight at her cries and gathering her in his arms where she settled comfortably.

“She’s so pretty.” Jin ZiXuan nodded in agreement with huaisang, his finger held in her tiny hand without the intention of letting go. She was going to be a Nie, MingJue said. She would never be a Jin, she wouldn’t grow up in Lanling but in Qinghe, she would never be one of the many bastards and, even more importantly, she would never be recognized as Jin GuangShan’s daughter.

“But she’s still your Meimei.” He assured to a mildly worried ZiXuan who, in answer, hugged her little arm and brushed his cheek against her head like HuaiSang always used to do in affection.

A young girl in dark gray robes ran from behind Nie MingJue and threw herself at Jin ZiXuan who promptly caught her.

“Da-ge! I want to show you something when you come to Qinghe!” She exclaimed excitedly before throwing herself in the same fashion at Nie huaisang who, while trying to catch her, tumbled on the grass with her arms secured around his neck.

“I’ve heard some things from Huaisang during this past months.” Jin ZiXuan said, his voice vague. “About a proper Master Nie who tamed the great beast of the mountains.” Nie MingJue barely hid a smile gathering the little girl on his arm and dragging HuaiSang back on his feet.

“Can we expect a new little brother?”

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singingunderthecurtain · 5 years

Text

DIAMOND (CEO AU Baekhyun Series) Part 20

Author: @julietsoddeye AU: CEO!Baekhyun Genre: Angst | Smut | Romance Pairing: (in this chapter) Baekhyun x Lee Soojin (OC) | Junmyeon x Yanmei (OC) | Chanyeol x Hisako (OC) Word Count: 5.5K Trigger Warning: Strong Language, Gun Use, Blood, and Physical Violence

Plot: After 10 years of exile to another country, Soojin is finally back home and was surprised to find out that she was already engaged to the son of her father’s long-time friend and business partner.

Diamond Mini Mansterlist

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20

“Don’t fucking panic, guys!”

Hisako yelled suddenly as she was pacing around the small space provided for her in front of everyone. Friends are all gathered in Baekhyun’s office, figuring out where Soojin might be. Yanmei then grabs Hisako’s wrist to pull and squeezes her in between her and Jongdae. The man has no other option but to scoot farther away from Yanmei so that Hisako can properly sit down.

“Nobody’s panicking, only you.”

Yanmei said matter-of-factly rolling her eyes at her friend, Hisako pouted like a child as a response. She can tolerate this crazy attitude of hers just as long as she provided a barricade between her and Jongdae.

It has already been two and a half days since Soojin has gone AWOL. President Lee Seungho almost had another heart attack when they found out that his daughter was missing. Both Soojin and Baekhyun’s mothers were inconsolable with the news, they kept crying when Soojin’s name is ever mentioned.

After the Twenty Four hour mark of her absence, private security and investigation companies were called, but not the Police. They knew the media would soon find out that the Heiress of the Lee clan and soon-to-be Daughter-in-law of the Byuns, and sure news about her disappearance would blow up if they decided to ask for the Police’s help. They didn’t want unwanted attention from anyone or anything at this point, reporters and journalists will swarm their buildings and homes and that will definitely affect their stocks.

“Shouldn’t you be at work today?”

Jongdae snarked, suddenly annoyed at Hisako even though it wasn’t her fault that he was blocked from being next to Yanmei.

“How can I go to work when one of my two best friends is missing?” Hisako snarled her lips at Jongdae. “Also, President Seungho told me to take a break.”

“You think she’s been kidnapped?”

“Yes, probably. Soojin-ssi wouldn’t just suddenly run away like that.”

Mia answers Baekhyun’s question immediately.

Everyone fell silent for a while. They all have sullen-look in their faces, the wedding is just right around the corner, why is this happening now?

Baekhyun felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, he must have accidentally put it on silent. Looking at the screen, he was jolted to see that Soojin is calling him.

“What is it, bro?”

Yixing saw the bewilderment in his friend’s eyes and everyone’s attention snapped to Baekhyun as he sat on his office table with his jaws hanging down.

“I–It’s S–Soojin.”

“Answer it!!!”

Soojung pushed through people to get near Baekhyun. Her eyes were blown big as she waits for her future brother-in-law’s next move.

With quivering hands, Baekhyun slides accept the call and put his phone on his left ear.

“H–Hello?”

“Listen Byun Baekhyun, I know you’re probably surrounded by people right now. Pretend like this is Soojin…”

“Okay…”

Baekhyun answers with a shake in his voice, everyone looks at him expecting a piece of good news. He recognized the person on the other line and already know who the person was behind all this and his blood is already boiling with anger.

“We have your fiancé and if you still want to see her alive, you will do as I tell you. Understood?”

“Okay,”

Baekhyun repeats his one-line answer, lips quivered and nose flared when he hears Soojin screaming for help in the background.

“You will meet me at the address that I will be texting you... alone. And then you will come with me. Don’t let anyone follow you or I will make sure my men will put a bullet through Lee Soojin’s skull. You don’t want a dead bride at your wedding, am I being clear?”

“BAEKHYUN, BAEKHYUN NO! DON’T LISTEN TO TH—”

“SHUT UP, BITCH! Shut her up before I punch her unconscious once again!”

Baekhyun hears loud banging noises until he can’t hear Soojin’s screams and cries anymore. He hits his fist on his table, grinding his teeth together to suppress his anger.

“What? What’s happening?!”

Seungmin was about to snatch the phone away, but Baekhyun motions for him to stop.

“Do you hear that, Byun? Now be a good boy and don’t fuck shit up for me!”

The call ended abruptly and it took a few moments before Baekhyun’s inside battles clammed enough to answer everyone’s loud questions.

“Baekhyun-ah,”

Seungmin sounded straight-up begging now, the desperation in his tone made it a little harder for Baekhyun to lie. He is deliberating what sort of bullshit he will tell Soojin’s brother. He needs to be careful or they will kill his Fiancé for sure.

“I…”

Baekhyun trails off, suddenly zoning out again.

“Oppa, please.”

It was Soojung, this time, to beg Baekhyun. Begging to know what was going on. She can see the feat in Baekhyun’s eyes and she’s worried what sort of danger her sister is in.

“Sooj– She wants me to meet her… Soojinnie.”

Baekhyun stutters.

“It was Soojin eonni on the phone?”

“Y–Yes.”

Baekhyun’s phone dinged with another notification and sure enough, it was Soojin’s number they used again and he starts scrambling on to his feet, grabbing his motorbike keys out of the many vehicular keys inside his office table drawer.

“Please, guys… I need to go.”

Baekhyun was stopped mid-run by Junmyeon, he looks back at everyone to see them all confused and puzzled by his sudden odd behavior.

“What is happening, Baekhyun-ah?”

Junmyeon tightens his grip on Baekhyun’s arm when he tries shaking him off. Sehun and Jongdae then grasp his other arm when he suddenly bolted and tries to escape.

Every single person in his office probably thinks he’s about to or has already gone insane, but right now is not the time to care about that. He needs to go because the text message only gave him an hour to get there or they will get rid of her - immediately. He has no other options but to just go there even if he wasn't sure they were tricking him or not.

He has so save Soojin!

“Baekhyun, relax! Use your words, please.”

Yanmei pushed pass bodies to touch Baekhyun’s cheek, using her ‘teacher approach’ she practices with her students daily. Baekhyun slumps when he felt his fiancé’s best friend’s warm hands on his face. It reminded him of the warmth Soojin shows him every single day even though he probably doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve her and now she’s at the hands of bad people and it’s his fault.

“Mei-Mei, please…”

“Tell me, Baeks it’s okay.”

Baekhyun’s tears are pouring like rain, he just wanted them to let him go but he can’t verbalize what he wanted them to do.

“Baekhyun-ah.”

Jongdae pushes on, shaking Baekhyun’s arm that he was holding.

“Jongdae, no—”

Yanmei warns her ex and Jongdae immediately silenced with the mention of his name straight from her lips.

“Baekhyun? Talk to me.”

She returns her attention to the aggravated man once again, gently coaxing him to speak. It took a while before Baekhyun calms down from his sobbing and he finally found his voice, determined to save the woman he only ever loved in his life.

“Guys, please… Please trust me. Don’t follow me or they will kill her.”

“Hyung, what are you saying?”

Sehun interjects.

“I need to go… NOW! Or they will kill Soojin and if that happens, I will never, ever forgive myself for it. Do you understand me? I have no time?!”

Baekhyun starts screaming now to no one in particular.

“Oh my God! What are we gonna... What are we gonna fucking do?”

Hisako then paces back and forth again, Chanyeol pulling her arms to embrace her, pushing her face to his chest. She starts bawling her eyes out when she felt his warm chest on her cheeks, his tight embrace around her body.

“Let go of him.”

Mia all of a sudden speaks, still seated in one of the chairs in the office. Her face was calm, but her feet are quavering into place in agitation.

“What?”

Sehun yells, mouth ajar as he looks back and forth between Mia and Seungmin. Seungmin just stares back at his younger cousin with no answer to the silent question in his eyes.

“I said let go of Baekhyun!”

“Are you a fucking lunatic?”

Yanmei protests, suddenly angry at Mia’s rash decision.

“And why are you even still here, Mia? Hasn’t Soojin already fired you? Why are you still lingering around us, you fucking psycho?!”

Yanmei added, her ears obviously beaming red with anger.

“Yanmei-ssi!!!”

Seungmin infiltrates, pulling Yanmei’s arm harder than he intended to and she yelps in pain.

“Hyung!”

Junmyeon and Jongdae bellow simultaneously. Jongdae lets go of Baekhyun as Seungmin releases Yanmei wrist.

“I–I’m so… I’m sorry, I– Didn’t mean to.”

Seungmin apologizes profusely as Yanmei clutches her wrist.

“Baby, are you okay?”

Jongdae ran to Yanmei's side, grabbing her arms with gentle care to examine it. Yanmei was too lost for words or reactions and so she lets him comfort her.

“What is happening?”

Sunmi starts sobbing silently with no idea what was going on, only hearing the commotion around her. Yixing instantly pulls the poor weeping girl in the farthest corner of the room to calm her down.

“Sunmi, everything will be just fine, okay? Do you trust oppa?”

Yixing starts whispering comforting words to her ears.

“Yes,”

Sunmi replies, although still crying. But Yixing’s soft and gentle words are very effective at making her nerves quiet down a bit to stop her lament.

“I’m so sorry you have to hear this, love. We can go if you want to.”

“No, oppa. I want to know what’s happening, we need to find Soojin eonni.”

She juts her lower lip out, tears ready to be shed just thinking about her oldest sister being gone without a trace.

“Just… Trust me and let go of Baekhyun.”

Mia insisted on with both boldness and assurance. Her eyes were burning with determination, but her heart is somewhat scared of the ten percent chance that all the plans might turn into shit. Hopefully, that doesn’t happen or she will not only fail Soojin, who has already become a big part of her life, but also Seungmin. He trusted everything on her, she can’t let him down... ever. It would totally break her heart.

Seungmin nods towards Sehun and Junmyeon, both looked at each other before hesitantly letting Baekhyun go.

Baekhyun bolted out of the door right away with his newfound freedom.

“I hope you’re not digging yourself a grave with that decision, Mia.”

Yanmei yaks at Mia, pushing Jongdae’s embrace away from her and went for the door also. Both Junmyeon and Jongdae followed immediately after her.

The rest were quiet and it was quite a deafening silence for Mia. But before her mind spiraled into insanity, Seungmin reaches his arms towards her and envelopes her shoulders with comfort. Him cradling her like a lost child, she couldn’t help her tears but spill like a dam letting water out.

— – — – —

It was wise of Baekhyun to have grabbed his bike keys instead of any of his many cars, it’s a Friday night and the traffic jam is insane in the rush hour.

He can’t let anything happen to Soojin, not now that their wedding is just right around the corner.

Not now that they can really, finally call each other theirs, that they belong with each other only.

He parks his bike on a random alleyway where the location was pinged.

Immediately after he killed the motor off of his bike, get down from it and removed his helmet, a man in all black clothes and dark hat grabbed his arm forcefully and drag him where a black van is waiting.

“Come with me and don’t make a sound.”

Immediately, Baekhyun knows who it was by the tone of the voice.

Kim Namjoon.

Taeyeon’s younger brother.

“Aah, Namjoonie… It’s been a long time—”

“Don’t fucking call me that as if you’re still Noona’s boyfriend!”

Namjoon cut Baekhyun’s affinity quickly with a harsh dismissive tone. Baekhyun, as a reply, laughed tauntingly at his captor.

“You’ve seen how your sister treated me when we were still together, Namjoon. I can’t stay with a woman like that.”

“You’re just the same, Hyung.”

Namjoon puts a sarcastic emphasis on the word Hyung as if to mock Baekhyun with fake politeness. There was never any camaraderie between Baekhyun’s and Namjoon’s set of friends. There was always a silent rivalry between them ever since they were young.

“I only repaid her for what she did to me. To be honest with you, your sister’s sins are much heavier than mine. I just dated around, meanwhile, Taeyeon sleeps with any man she encounters when we’re fighting.”

Baekhyun sneers and Namjoon pushes him inside the van that has two other people inside who he recognizes as Namjoon’s friends, Yoongi and Jimin.

“Don’t you dare talk about my sister like that, you asshole!”

Namjoon grabs Baekhyun by the collar and slams him on the vehicle wall.

Baekhyun groans slightly when the back of his head hits hard on the other side of the heavily tinted van window.

His head was then wacked using a loaded gun by Yoongi and the last thing he remembers before he lost his consciousness was that a sack-like material was being put on his head and then everything went black…

“What took you so fucking long?!”

Taeyeon stood up from Seokjin’s lap when she finally sees the door of the room opens.

Namjoon is walking in front while Yoongi and Jimin are just close behind, dragging a tied up and very unconscious Baekhyun along like a piece of dead meat. Jungkook, the youngest and the newest member of their friend circle took a chair and settles it in front of a deeply wounded and very weak Soojin who was also tied up to an uncomfortably cold and metallic chair.

“Noona, it’s the rush hour traffic… I’m sorry.”

Taeyeon’s hard look softened a bit when she sees her brother almost shaking in fear of what she will do to him for being late.

The two sat Baekhyun up on the chair and tied him to it in a similar way they tied Soojin.

“It’s okay, baby brother… Noona understands. Did you get the gun I specifically asked for?”

“Yes, Noona. It’s here.”

Namjoon handed a small velvety gun case to Taeyeon, her smile widens when she grabs it and felt the soft case on her fingertips.

“Good boy. You’re not as useless as what our parents make you seem to be, hmm.”

Taeyeon briefly pats her brother’s head and walked towards a nearby table and carefully places the case down. Her boyfriend, Seokjin, offered to open up the case for her and she gave him a quick kiss on the lips before she let him open up the case for her.

Both of their faces lit up when the light hits the rose gold revolver gun in all the right places. The dark mahogany hand grip compliments the glimmer of the handheld gun really well.

“Beautiful.”

Seokjin sighs looking between the gun and Taeyeon.

“I hope you’re talking about me, Jin...”

One of Taeyeon’s brows raised as she asked. She took her younger boyfriend’s face, her long red nails scratching slightly on to his smooth face.

“Of course, baby. Nothing shines brighter than you.”

“Correct answer.”

She lets his face go and returns her attention back to the handheld gun she especially purchased just for this very occasion.

If she can’t have Baekhyun, no one will.

Especially not Soojin. Hell no.

— – — – —

“Report?!”

Mia roars as the heavily-armed door guards slams open the production floor of their headquarters as she arrived with her entourage. All the staff's heads turned towards her and straighten their positions upon the arrival of their biggest boss.

“Bugs 2012, 2014 and 2015, eyes and ears are inside of the property since 20190304. Targets one, two and three were seen leaving the property at oh-two-twenty-three. Three fawners are left inside to man and be on the lookout, about five fawners are scattered outside. Pawns one and two are alive, but unconscious.”

Mia sighs in relief when she hears the report from one of her skilled men.

“Do you know what their condition is right now aside from being unconscious?”

Mia asks and Seungmin bit the inside of his lower lip, waiting for the answer as the man types in on his computer.

“Latest update, oh-three-oh-seven, Pawn-one is heavily bruised all around the body, bleeding from the side of the head and has been unconscious for fifteen hours. Last meal offered twenty hours ago, rejected and then received a few slaps from Target-one…”

He paused for a bit to breathe in deeply before reading on the second report.

“Latest update, oh-three-oh-seven, pawn-two bleeding from the nose, a few bruisings on the face and body and has been unconscious since or even before arrival at twenty-two-oh-five.”

“Fuck! Is pawn-one my sister...?”

With Seungmin’s silent question, Mia hesitantly nodded her head. His knees caved and couldn’t control how he knelt on the pavement, with Mia catching him as he falls. She sat him down on one of the couches on the production floor.

Seungmin couldn’t help but cry.

How could such a thing happen to her sister and his childhood friend? How could he let it happen to them?

“It’s my fault! It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have brought my sister or Baekhyunnie into this mess.”

Seungmin howls, punching and hitting his own thighs as if it’s going to make things better for everyone. Mia immediately wraps the man inside her embrace to stop him from hurting himself.

“Stop that!”

She warns.

“We always knew there was a threat—”

“But I never knew the threat is as near as it is!!! Who knew a woman like Kim Taeyeon can do such an evil thing! Even to Baekhyun, her ex-boyfriend”

Seungmin laments some more.

“She’s the daughter of the devil himself, of course, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.”

Seungmin laughs as he realizes that Taeyeon’s father, who is one of the biggest share-holders of the Byun Group of Companies, is a vile man in silence. There were rumors about him being linked to the mafia and that he has been paying his way to be on the top.

“Yeah, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree…”

Mia whispers as she plots ways to capture the whole family of their crookedness

— – — – —

Diamonds.

Diamond eyes.

Millions of diamonds surround her. Like stars in the sky, they shine so brightly even without a source of light.

“Please come home…”

She begs.

“Come back home, eonni…”

The diamond-eyed little girl sheds holographic tears.

“Soojin eonni, please…”

AMMONIA.

The smell of ammonia.

The ammonium inhalant shoots signals to her brain to wake up. The vile and putrid smell of it almost made her want to vomit, only if there’s something inside her stomach. But there is none.

Soojin hasn’t eaten a bite of anything they give her since she was abducted, what, maybe five days now. She is not really sure, she doesn’t have a sense of time anymore because she was just there.

No mornings, no nights. Soojin was just there, constrained not only by the ropes tied around her weak body but also by the evils of Taeyeon and her sycophants. It feels like months now and she misses Baekhyun so bad. She’s not even sure if she will see him ever again. If he’ll ever see her alive again.

“Good morning, Princess.”

A familiar voice greets her.

It’s a very familiar voice, and not in a good way, that has been haunting her for days already. That’s why she would just rather be unconscious and unaware of everything around her. The nightmares she had before may be back, but at least those nightmares won’t cause her physical pain.

She says the wrong thing, Taeyeon will slap her in the face or hit her with whatever she has on hand.

Breathes the wrong way, Namjoon will punch her stomach or kick her sides.

Doesn’t take the food they give? They will swing her head with a gun.

Whatever she does, they beat her up.

“I was so worried you won’t wake up. Oh! Thank God you’re not dead yet.”

Even though she is in her current state, beat up, weak and hurting in all places, she still did not miss the sarcasm in her voice.

“Fuck you, Taeyeon.”

She coughs the moment she spoke and spits up a combination of blood and phlegm. Taeyeon jumps up, face sours when Soojin’s bloody phlegm spatters on her shoe.

“MY FUCKING DIAMOND JIMMY CHOO!!! CLEAN IT OFF, RIGHT NOW!!! FUCK!!!”

Taeyeon panics, hitting her boyfriend, Seokjin on the arms as she screams as if she’s being swallowed whole by the ground. Seokjin then starts panicking as well, as he cringes by both the vision of Soojin’s bloody cough on his girlfriend’s expensive shoes that he bought for her last birthday.

“Get me a fucking rug or some shit!”

Seokjin snarls at Jungkook, their youngest and the group’s gofer.

“Don’t fucking use a rug, you stupid piece of shit! I have some wet wipes in my purse!!!”

Jungkook then starts panicking also, a rug already on his other hand and Taeyeon’s small bag on his other. Namjoon rolls his eyes at the commotion, snatches his sister’s handbag from the younger man and grabbed a handful of wet towelette and wiped the bloody discharge from the shoes himself.

Soojin is painfully laughing at the dumb assery in front of her, but the moment she saw a glimpse of Baekhyun from behind all of them, she starts choking on her spit and tears already starts welling on the side of her eyes.

“Baek… Is that… BAEKHYUN!!!”

Her scream was piercing and it made everyone stop fussing and Baekhyun to stir awake.

“That’s right bitch, your Prince Charming is dumb enough to save you.”

Taeyeon unintentionally kicks her brother off as she starts walking in the direction of Soojin again. She grabs her by the hair and made her look into her eyes.

“Hurt me all you want, Taeyeon, I am begging you. Don’t touch Baekhyun.”

“Too late. My men already tainted his pretty face.”

Taeyeon pushes Soojin’s head forward as she lets go of her hair.

“Stop! Stop it right now, Taeyeon. Let us go and we will all forget about this.”

It’s Beakhyun’s turn to negotiate with his ex. His lips quivered when he finally saw the complete condition of Soojin. His heart breaks seeing how bloody and beat up the woman he loves. She’s probably just as damaged, if not more, on the inside.

“Oh sure.”

Taeyeon suddenly pipes.

“Go ahead, Yoongi, Jungkook, let them go. Go on!”

Baekhyun’s eyes lit up as he turns his eyes from Taeyeon to Soojin whose head is bowed down in exhaustion. Blood, sweat, and tears dripping from her face simultaneously. His ex’s laughter then woke him up from the few seconds of false hope he felt.

His face painted disappointment all over when he looks back at Taeyeon who is now smirking slyly at him.

“You’re stupid to think I’d let you go just like that, darling.”

Slowly, like a ghost in the night, Taeyeon plods her feet one by one on the direction of the table where her gun is settled. Neatly tucked in a velvet and silk case. Tracing her fingers delicately on the metal object before grabbing it, making sure it’s a complete seven shots of bullets.

Seeing the complete seven shots, Taeyeon then makes her way back in front of Soojin, who seems to be unconscious once again.

“Wake up, bitch!”

Taeyeon slaps Soojin’s bloody face to wake her up, causing Soojin to moan in pain.

“Baekhyunnie, say goodbye to your precious bride…”

Taeyeon aims the small gun at Soojin’s head. Soojin just stared at the gun directly, probably too weak and too tired to even recognize a gun that’s being pointed directly at the middle of her forehead.

“TAEYEON! STOP!”

Baekhyun cries.

“Okay, okay.”

Taeyeon drops the aim. And Baekhyun chokes with his own emotions.

“I’m gonna count from ten to one... So you at least still have a little more time seeing her before I blow her brains out.”

Taeyeon’s manic laughter can be heard from miles away and it sent shivers down Baekhyun’s spine knowing that in ten seconds, he will be losing the woman he is supposed to love until his dying day.

Hopefully, Taeyeon kills him too because he’s sure he couldn’t live without Soojin.

It would be painful to imagine what their wedding might have looked like, what her wedding dress would look like on her, how they will be spending their honeymoon, to what their children might look like. Will they have his eyes, Soojin’s cute nose? Will they also get their mother’s intellect or will they get his quirky personality?

“TEN!”

Baekhyun snaps from his day-nightmare when he hears Taeyeon’s scream. She had her gun pointed at Soojin’s head again.

“Taeyeon…”

Baekhyun begs.

“NINE!”

She screams, voice shaking with nervous excitement and adrenaline.

“TAEYEON-AH!!! PLEASE!”

He begs once more.

“EIGHT!”

“Taeyeon, please… Don’t do this.”

Baekhyun’s tears are starting to wet the dried blood on his face and he’s ignoring the taste of salt and iron on his lips.

“YOU MADE ME DO THIS BAEKHYUN! SEVEN!”

Everyone around them is just silent, just clammed up with the commotion happening in front of them. Some are obviously disturbed by the fact that Taeyeon is committing a crime and they are being accessory to it. Some are just neutral, maybe even impassive and detached.

“SIX!”

“Taeyeon…”

“FIVE!”

“Please… Please…”

You can hear the defeat in Baekhyun’s voice.

“FOUR!”

Baekhyun stopped fussing, but his tears continue.

“THREE!”

Taeyeon cocks the gun and places her pointer finger on the trigger.

“TWO!”

Baekhyun’s life with Soojin flashes before his eyes and it just made him sob really hard.

“ON—”

And before Taeyeon can scream the last number completely, a silent sniper bullet hits her shoulder and caused her to outbalance and pull the trigger accidentally hitting Namjoon on his thigh.

The Sister-Brother duo both scream in agony as multiple men in black clothing and bullet-proof vests enter the scene.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Byun Baekhyun and Lee Soojin in marriage. Through their time together, they have seen their love and understanding of each other grow and blossom and now they have come to recognize that their personal hopes, dreams, and goals are more possible and more purposeful through the combined effort and mutual foundation provided in love, commitment, and family; and so they have decided to live out the rest of their lives as one.”

The marriage officiant starts.

It was a beautiful day at a peach orchard in Yongin. This 100 acres land is owned by Yixing’s family and Soojin and Baekhyun have the best memory in this place.

Yixing brought them here on a previous time to pick Peach and other fruits that are on the property and this is where Baekhyun first fell in love with Soojin so they decided to do their wedding here.

Soojin and Baekhyun are currently hand in hand, shaking with excitement, sporting their own bruises from the previous incident they experienced at the hands of Kim Taeyeon. Who is now in jail for kidnapping and attempted murder alongside her five lackeys.

But none of it matters now, because they are finally in front of everyone, affirming their love for each other. It may have started as an arranged marriage, but they are glad they actually fell hard head over heels for each other. It’s not always you get to choose the one you spend your life with, especially in their circle. They are lucky they were the perfect match from the beginning.

“I, Baekhyun, take you, my Soojinnie, to be my wife, my best friend, my faithful partner and the love of my life from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful husband and partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you forever, unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”

Baekhyun gingerly places her wedding band next to her the engagement ring that’s still on her finger. Even through all the beatings the ring and the Diamond are still intact, shining beautifully in the beautiful daylight.

“I, Soojin, take you, my bubu… Baekhyun,”

Soojin paused to giggle along with the crowd.

“to be my husband, my best friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful husband and partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.”

Soojin also places his wedding band on his ring finger and they both gave each other tight hand squeezes after.

“Before we proceed, should anyone here present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

The officiant jumps in before officially ending the ceremony.

“Hell no, no one’s stopping the wedding!”

Chanyeol hollers from the groomsmen side, Baekhyun, and Soojin with playfulness in their eyes!

“Well then… By the power vested in me by the Republic of South Korea, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now seal the ceremony with a kiss!”

Baekhyun gently reached for Soojin’s jaw and she slightly tiptoed to reach Baekhyun halfway for their first kiss as husband and wife.

“I now give you, the newlyweds, Byun Baekhyun-ssi and Lee Soojin-ssi!

Every single soul in the property that is part of the wedding rejoiced. Finally, the much-awaited wedding happened and they couldn’t be happier.

~~~

Sunmi and Yixing came to the wedding as an official new couple as well.

Sunmi finally found the courage to tell Yixing how she feels and surprisingly for her, the man actually feels the same as she did.

Yixing was glad Sunmi was the one to confess first because if not for it, he will probably never tell her that he is in love with her.

~~~

Turns out, Mia is the “maid” Soojin’s brother, Seungmin, ran away with.

Mia is definitely not a maid, she is actually a leader of a private security agency who has been serving The Byuns and The Lees for years.

Mia and Seungmin met in College and have been together since.

Seungmin connived with Mia, Baekhyun, and Minseok a plan to seek revenge for what their father did to her sister, Soojin.

They explained everything to Soojin and she finally understood now why everything happened. Although the incident with Taeyeon was not according to plan. They have always known her family is shady, but they never post any threat to anyone so they have let their guards down in regards to that.

But good thing, they planted small tracking devices on both Soojin and Baekhyun’s phones and clothing just for security purposes. And that’s why they were able to see their location and save them from the hands of evil.

~~~

Taeyeon and her crew are now in jail and they will be for a long time, Chairman Byun made sure of that.

Taeyeon’s father has been terminated and shamed for what his daughter and all his shady activity with the Byun Conglomerate.

~~~

Hisako and Chanyeol and keep their hands to themselves all throughout the wedding.

They don’t hide the fact that they are displaying skinship on public and when people ask, they just shrug their shoulders and say they’re really good friends.

~~~

Yanmei went to the wedding as Junmyeon’s date, wearing the necklace he gave her.

Jongdae went alone.

But he saw her still wearing the bracelet he gave her.

~~~

"It– it wasn't your fault."

"What?"

"It wasn't your fault, I'm sorry."

"Ten years... I suffered ten years away from you. And you're saying that now?

"I'm sorry… We only found out a few years after I sent you away. I was too ashamed to let you know that I made a mistake. My pride ate me, I’m sorry."

Soojin just smiled and gave her Dad a warm hug.

“It’s okay dad. I forgive you and I understand. I’m still thankful for what happened. If not for that, I might actually turn out to be like Taeyeon, who knows?”

Both of them laugh.

“And thank you, dad, because if not for you, I wouldn’t have met Baekhyun.”

…

And so…

They lived the rest of their lives…

Happy…

Or not?

Aikie Masterlist | Michiko Masterlist | FIC RECS | FIC REC SIDEBLOG

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teenytinystorage · 5 years

Text

Green With Envy : Chapter 3

Summary: As Roman returns to his fellow sides after his encounter with Envy, his friends listen as he tries to tell his tale and as they reassure him of his worth. But the sides can’t be sure if the fight is over yet.

Word Count: 1,494

Genre: Hurt/Comfort + Suspense

Warnings: Buckets upon buckets of Roman angst, crying, minor panic, self-deprecation, negative self-talk, verbal attacks/abuse (concerning self-worth), envy, Patton punching a couch cushion, food mention (let me know if I need any more!)

(Also: a small reminder that it’s going to be okay here, even with all of the warnings I’m not out to hurt you, there’s lots of comforting and positivity in this chapter)

Pairings: None

... Previous chapter ...

... Next chapter ...

Enjoy! :)

“Envy.”

Roman couldn’t stop the tears that poured from his eyes.

He couldn’t stop his pulsing heart, either.

He kept hearing Envy’s voice in his head, repeating over and over like a VHS tape on rewind.

“I knew he had to be behind this,” Virgil grumbled under his breath.

Patton’s eyes widened.

Logan even looked disturbed.

“H-He told me all these awful things, and, and,” Roman could barely speak over his shaky voice. His chest rose and shrunk. He was forced to escape his room to flee from the awful creature that had loomed before him.

Roman didn’t even know if Envy was still there.

He couldn’t be.

Roman slammed the door on him. He would have no reason to lounge around once his victim left him.

Right?

“Roman, oh, oh no… come downstairs please, let us help you,” Patton’s face softened, and Roman could see the tears in his cocoa brown eyes already.

Roman stumbled down the stairs. His breaths kept faltering. He wiped off his soaking wet face with his sweater sleeves.

Patton leapt up from the couch and dashed up the stairs to where Roman was. Virgil followed behind, and both of them wrapped an arm around Roman to help him down the stairs.

Roman would usually feel like royalty right now, prideful of his treatment from the others.

But, he didn’t feel anything like royalty.

He felt more like a king that had been thrown out of power, overthrown by a raging mob of unhappy citizens. With a crown of the shiniest gold that had cracked on the cobblestone streets.

“Okay, okay, take a seat,” Virgil whispered. Him and Patton lowered Roman down onto the couch.

Roman curled into himself, holding his bent knees with his arms. He held his head in his knees, tears now staining his pajama pants.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Deep breaths,” Patton held up the numbers he said with his fingers, “4-7-8, remember?” he assured Roman with. Patton’s smile hadn’t returned yet.

Roman nodded his head limply. He lifted it up enough to see the three sides crowded around him.

Virgil stared at Roman, with worry in his hazel eyes that seemed more intense than usual. Watery tears flowed around Patton’s irises as if they were water reservoirs. Patton gulped, a frown still coating his face. And while Logan’s expressions were always flat, holding no emotion in them, now, his face held concern. A solemn wisp of concern across his lips.

They were waiting impatiently. They were waiting for him to talk.

But Roman wasn’t ready to talk. Not yet.

Roman took some deep breaths, a shakiness still coating them, while some leftover tears cascaded down his jawline. He sniffed noisily, wiping his face on his sleeves once more.

“Roman, if you’re composed enough, can you tell us what happened?” Logan asked, his face still coated with concern.

Roman sniffled. “I’ll-I’ll try.”

“I’ll get tissues.” Patton staggered to the kitchen.

The oven beeped.

“Ah, the brownies, too!” Roman heard Patton mumble to himself.

“How did he get into your room?” Virgil asked sternly, with Roman knowing Virgil was referring to the green-scale-speckled creature, Envy, that had prowled in his room.

“He was behind the,” Roman sniffed, “the door, and when Pat— Patton left and shut it— he was there.”

Virgil sharpened his gaze. He glanced over at the staircase warily, glaring at the entrance to the upstairs hallway.

Logan nodded. “So he was behind your door, and then he emerged. What did he say?”

“He might not be comfortable sharing that, Lo,” Patton remarked from the kitchen. He held a full tray of chocolate brownies in his baby blue oven-mitt-clad hands. A quiet thump on the table emerged as Patton sat down the brownie tray. He pulled off his oven mitts carefully, first his left, then his right, setting them onto the table.

Roman kept sniffling and tearing up. He adored being the center of attention, really he did, but now he would give anything for someone, anyone else to talk for him.

Patton strolled back to the couch and set tissues at Roman’s feet. He sat down to the left of Roman, setting his right arm on the prince’s shaky shoulders. “Are you okay sharing that?” he quietly asked Roman.

“I-I don’t kn, know..”

Roman tried to recall the various words Envy called him.

Overdramatic.

Hurtful.

Useless.

Tears formed in his eyes again. He tugged a tissue out of the box and wiped his eyes. He loudly blew his nose.

“Take your time,” Virgil nodded. He sat near the left curve of the couch, leaning over and crossing his legs.

“H-He walked over, and, and said that he knew why-y I was doubt-ting myself,” Roman sniffled again. He took another tissue and wiped off his eyes. His head was tilted up more so that he could talk clearer. Well, as clear as he could after bawling and screaming for minutes on end in his room.

“What did he say?” Logan asked.

“Sa-said that, that I’m..” Roman couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down his cheeks. He breathed quivery breaths and tore another tissue out to wipe his face off.

“You’re what, what did he say?” Patton asked quietly, now rubbing Roman’s back comfortingly.

“I’m, I’m worse than ever-everyone else,” Roman started sobbing again. “He-he said that I’m useless! Overdramatic! Hurtful! Terr-terrible!” Roman broke out into full-on bawling. “A-And that I don’t, don’t stand a chance to you all! Or to the-the others!”

Virgil leaned forward. “Roman. Listen to me.”

Roman looked over at the solemn Virgil. He sniffled noisily once more.

“Envy,” Virgil paused, a grim tone in his voice, “is a no-good, huge stinkin’ liar.”

“Virgil’s right,” Logan responded. “Nothing Envy says should be taken at face value, or at any value, for that matter. All he does is try to get a rise out of people, and he does that by constantly falsifying flaws. You are not anything he said you were.”

Roman sniffled again. He took a breath.

“You’re not worse than anyone. You never have been and never will be, Roman. You’re wonderful, and you stand tall with us,” Patton interjected. His face stiffened into a grimace as he continued.

“And don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re worse than any of the other sides. That person would and always will be wrong. He’s wrong! He’s wrong about everything he said to you!” Patton punched the couch cushion under him as he emphasized his words, infuriated at how evil Envy was to Roman. His punches each created increasingly loud thumps.

Roman looked over at Patton with fear in his eyes and his sleeve covering his mouth.

Patton frowned, softening again. He laid his arm down on the couch again. “Sorry,” he whispered.

“I-Is fine,” Roman mumbled.

“If he was in your room, how’d you get out?” Virgil asked, “Envy’s awfully territorial.”

“H-He was walking toward me, say, saying these bad, bad things,” Roman sniffled again, grabbing another tissue.

“And?” Logan interrupted.

“A-And I ran, ran around him, through the door, and slammed it on his, his stupid face!” Roman croaked.

“You slammed the door on his face?” Patton asked.

“N-No, but, but it felt like it,” Roman pouted.

“Alright. Well, we’re glad you’re here now, telling us this story,” Virgil nodded, a softer look lining his face.

“Yes, thank goodness you got out of there!” Patton rejoiced, hugging the pitiful prince. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I should’ve gone up to check on you again! I felt like you were in trouble, oh I should’ve listened to myself!”

“D-Don’t be, be sorry,” Roman mumbled. “Is- isn’t your fault.” He wiped his face off with a tissue again and blew his nose. He relaxed his legs, letting them slide down the couch.

“Roman?” Logan remarked.

“Yes?” Roman turned to his right to see Logan’s hand placed on his shoulder.

“You’re a vital piece of Thomas.”

Roman felt a small, minuscule smile spread across his saddened lips.

“You’re important,” Virgil added.

“And you’re loved!” Patton hugged Roman tighter. “By all of us!”

Roman’s smile crept up his face.

“That darned Envy can only dream of being as cool as you are!” Patton remarked. He pulled back from the hug, his caring smile now having returned.

Roman wiped his face off with another tissue. He threw it onto the floor, next to the other balled up tissues he had thrown on the floor. He kept smiling. He kept feeling more and more loved by the second. He kept feeling more and more like his truly amazing self.

“Well, well, well. Isn’t this nice?”

The four looked up to where the voice had emerged from. A figure cloaked by a dark hooded robe leaned on the top of the staircase, staring down at the living room with his vertically slit pupils that pooled in the center of the green grasses of his irises.

“Lovely, lovely show. So emotional. I almost cried,” the figure brushed an imaginary tear from his left eye with his clawed pointer finger.

“And I hate to interrupt, but I’m just letting you know now that you can never escape me.”

Taglist (lmk if you’d like to be added!): @datfearlessfangirl

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fever-dream-journal · 4 years

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The L.O.V Attack

It all starts where I am now. At home, just trying to talk to some friends on my computer, as most of my friends are long distance. I have a few friends who I’ve been speaking to a lot recently, one whom I do have a crush on. His name is Liam. I have a friend, Cherry, who I usually talk to about him all the time. From what I can remember, I was getting ready to message her when there was a loud commotion outside of my room. Before I got a chance to even get up to look, there was someone smashing through the back wall of my room. In a panic, I fall out of my chair and onto the floor. With the way my room is set up, I’m against a wall, little to no room to back up if need be. At this point, I’m panicking, and screaming, hoping my parents upstairs will hear and come down, if they hadn’t already heard all the commotion, and the sound of my wall being smashed in. Next thing I know, Rappa is breaking through my wall, and coming at me. I’d be lying if I said I remembered what he said to me, cause I really don’t, not like it’s really easy to understand what he says. It was low, raspy and muffled voice that came from his mask. All I remember is fear coursing through my veins as he approaches me. I quickly turn my chair, so the back is closest to me, almost using it as a shield. At this point, I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, screaming bloody murder. He walks closer to me, towering over top of me, and my chair, easily 6ft 7, barely fitting in my room in the first place. A muffled voice comes from him, saying something incomprehensible. Fear striking me, my voice cuts, also dry and hurting from the screaming I’m doing. Next thing I see is a saw cutting right through my chair, coming dangerously close to me. I start screaming again, somehow finding my voice.

The saw blade comes through the chair again, getting closer and closer to me. I try kicking the chair away, but it’s not budging. I remember my phone was sitting in the seat of my chair, probably cut in half at this point, so I cant call anyone for help. At this point,I’m getting ready to just accept that I’m gonna end up getting cut by the saw blade that is getting closer and closer to me before I finally hear my parents come crashing down the stairs. “You’re lucky.” He says to me, it only barely being audible, before disappearing into thin air. Was it all an illusion? What could all of this mean. My parents come rushing to me, to make sure I’m okay. Theres drywall all over the floor, my computer chair fully sawed into pieces, and there, on the floor, is my phone, smashed and broken, cut into pieces. I look up to my parents, heaving and panting for breath, my throat extremely dry and hurting. I try to explain to them what happened, but I end up coughing instead. I stand up, and my mother quickly checks me over for any damage. Other than drywall dust and a few scratches, I appeared to be fine. We start removing the damage from my computer room to my main room. We try to figure out how to fix the wall. My parents decide on going for a half wall, that way there’s nothing to punch if he comes back.

‘Thats such a stupid idea! We want him to have to be able to punch through things! It’s probably the only reason I’m alive right now! I literally almost died! I would have been DEAD if my parents hadn’t come rushing down the stairs when they did.’ I think to myself, not being able to speak from the soreness present in my throat. I decide it would be best to get a bottle of water so I can recover my voice and explain to my parents what I experienced. I get distracted as a knocking comes from my door that leads to outside. I set down my bottle of water, half of it being gone already. I open the door to see Cherry standing there. Not bothering to even question how she got to my house or even to Canada from Australia for that matter, I quickly pull her into a hug. I hold her tight, and start crying hard. “Hey, hey whoa. What’s up Blue?” she asks, using my nickname from online. I start rambling to her, trying desperately to explain. I stop midway and run into my room, grabbing the pieces of my phone I can find to show her, as she doesn’t seem to be believing my story. I finish off my bottle of water before bringing the broken pieces of my phone to her. “Here! This is all that’s left of my phone now!” “Well.. hey.. I have a surprise for you..’ ,she says softly, trying to change the subject, ‘and I think it’s something you could really use right now..” She points to my right, down the street. There, before my eyes is Liam. He’s talking with a girl I don’t quite recognize. She has medium length dirty blonde hair, and joggers with a tank top on. “Is that...” I say, unable to comprehend whats happening. There’s no way that’s actually Liam.. right? He lives on the other side of the country... how could he be... here? Without being able to think any more, my legs are carrying me over to him, sprinting as fast as I can. I stop as soon as I get within 10 feet of him, not wanting to seem desperate. In my rush to get to him, I had dropped the pieces of my phone at my door, not thinking about it anymore, only Liam.

“Hey Liam.” I say as I approach him, trying to keep my voice steady and control the blush threatening to cover my face. He stops his conversation with the unknown blonde and turns to me. “Hey Cereina. How are you?” I chuckle slightly, not wanting to really talk about it anymore. More tears started piling in my eyes, daring to start spilling over again. “I uh..’ I swallow hard, knowing I’m gonna start bawling my eyes out again. ‘I just about died... I almost died...” I say, now coming to terms with how close to death I was. Wow, I’m just meeting him for the first time in person, and I’m already crying and making a total fool of myself. Way to go me! He notices the tears starting to fall down my cheeks, and doesn’t bother asking about how and just pulls me into a hug. Knowing it pointless to try hiding the tears, I start full on sobbing, full on ugly crying. I hold onto him tight, or.. as best as I could. He’s a whole 6′2 and I’m barely 5ft. I’m more so just burying my face into his chest, my arms around his waist. His arms around me feel like everything’s going to be okay. His body is warm, almost like a heated blanket, his arms strong enough to fight off the negativity that’s swarming me. If there was a way to describe it, it would be us alone, floating through space, nothing else to worry about, just the two of us in that moment. I should have probably known the floating feeling wasn’t good though, cause next thing I knew, I was falling over onto the grass beneath me. Thankfully Liam was holding me though, or else I would have hit my head. I open my eyes that seem to have shut on their own. I only see Liam, hovering over me. The look on his face was that of pure concern, worry, and pain almost? Its hard to explain. It was like a scene from an anime. I swear there were roses floating behind him for a moment. Maybe the trauma of everything that happened finally hit me and that’s why I almost passed out. I find my voice enough to explain what has happened. “Liam.. Rappa attacked... it wasn’t him though.. it was.. an illusion.. Twice must be nearby... I think I know where their base is though... I dont know if it’s safe to go there.. they may be hiding out. It’s also not that far.” Liam started looking around before motioning for Cherry to come over. Within a few moments, Cherry was also by my side. “I think I can help us, but we need everyone else. We need to get the others.” Cherry took out her phone and started sending out mass texts. The only people I know were available were Iida, Aizawa, Deku, Todoroki, Denki and Bakugo. I’m not sure where everyone else was, but I know that they would have joined if they were able to. Liam helped me stand back up. I held onto him again, hugging him tightly. I didn’t want this moment to pass. He let out a soft chuckle before rubbing my back. “Come one.. lets get you out of those clothes..” We all started walking back to my house. I needed to get changed from normal street clothes to my ‘hero clothes’. After about half an hour, everyone had showed up at our usual meeting place. Todoroki was keeping his distance from everyone else, talking to Cherry. I think he’s just trying to get all the information and figure out a plan. Everyone was kinda just hanging out and getting caught up on everything. I was busying myself with Deku and Iida. I was trying to explain the Rappa attack to them and how I think I know where their hideout could be, but needed to make sure we had the right backup. We then start just joking around as old friends. We haven’t seen each other in a while since they joined UA, but we still try to keep in touch. Iida suddenly tapped my shoulder before handing me his official UA hoodie. I just gave him a puzzling look. “What’s this for?” He smirked softly. “I want you to race Midoriya, but I want you to wear this. Maybe it’ll be like I’m one with you, maybe speed you up a bit.” He finished his sentence, winking at me. I swear there were stars in my eyes as I quickly put it on and smiled. I didn’t exactly HAVE a quirk, so I wouldn’t be able to get into UA. I was more of a support system for them, emotionally. I kept them up to date with things I could. Maybe that’s why the League of Villains were after me? They wanted the inside scoop to stop? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts, and went jogging up to Deku. “Hey! Izuku! Let’s have a friendly race! Like old times?” I said, hopefully.

He just smiled brightly at me. “Ha ha, I thought you’d never ask!” I start jumping up and down, clapping happily. Bakugo came over. “You two are really gonna race? A quirk less wannabe vs the second All Might? Really?” I tried to hide my frown, but then again, Katsuki has always been a downer. “Hey, you wouldn’t say that if your girlfriend was quirkless.” I smile softly. “Oh wait, you don’t have one.” The look on his face was enough for me to know it was time to run. “Deku! Go!” We both take off running, Katsuki screaming in the background about ‘how dare I insult the number 1 hero in training’ or something like that. I’m pretty sure Deku was taking it easy on me, as I was winning for a little while. It doesn’t last long though, as I see him starting to get caught up. We were running side by side at this point. I was giving it my all, and it looks like he’s not even trying! “I summon the power of Iida!” I shout, giving my final push to run as fast as I can. Midoriya just laughs at me and quickly bolts ahead. At this point, I’m panting and have to stop. Midoriya comes back to me, not a single sweat dripping. I pout as he just laughs at me. “Sh-shut up!” I say through pants. “Come on, let’s get back to the others.” He says before picking me up and running back to the others, almost effortlessly. I cling onto him, not wanting to fall, but also slightly scared. When we return to the others, the atmosphere has changed. I’m looking around and notice Iida and Aizawa are missing. “Where is everyone else?” I ask Bakugo. “Those bastards captured them! Mr. Compress appeared out of nowhere and captured Iida in one of those stupid marbles of his.” Shoto came up to us. “Mr. Aizawa tried to stop them, but he got him as well. There was nothing we could do... they were threatening to kill them if we even made a move towards them.” I looked to Iidas hoodie still on me, and held onto it. “We need to go to their hideout...” It took a while to convince everyone, but eventually I had everyone ready and prepared to fight if need be. “So, I’ll stay at the front of the line, you all drag back. I’ll see if they’re actually there or not. If you see my hand behind my back flashing a four, that means they’re there. If it’s a three, its dangerous. If for whatever reason they ARE there and they try to attack us, Shoto, you get up and get an ice wall in front of me, and I’ll run back as fast as I can. At that point, Deku, you get behind me. You’re our best defense against Shigaraki’s quirk as you can jump up and land on him, and even attack from the air. Denki, you stay close to Deku. If you need to shoot a bolt at them, do it. Just remember, we are not trying to kill them, so we should try to not seriously harm anyone. Our end goal if they attack is to get back to base. Rose can help us from there.” Everyone nodded, except Bakugo. “Well what the hell am I supposed to do then? Why am I even here?” I waited a moment, trying to think how Bakugo could help without getting himself or the others in trouble. I chuckle softly, knowing he wouldn’t like his role. “I want you to protect me. I am just a civilian after all. Deku is going to be busy, and I mean,’ I pause briefly, knowing if I add a little flirting to it, he’d be sure to think about it more before getting insulted. ‘you ARE the number 1 hero in training, right? So you must be big and strong and able to protect one little civilian, right?” He scoffs at me, but agrees. “Yeah, sure. Whatever. Just don’t be stupid and we won’t have any problems!” With that, the plan was in action, and we were all ready! I started walking, everyone doing their part. We were all quiet. I kept my hand behind my back, ready to flash any sign of warning. We quickly got to where I knew they were hiding. I stop walking, letting them know we finally got to the place. I slowly creep up, trying to see if they were anywhere nearby, when suddenly I see Shigaraki’s face appear from the corner. I quickly flash a 3 at the others and turn, starting to run back towards them, panic searing through my veins. Everyone realizes what’s happening and spring into action. I see Deku running towards me, getting as close to me as he could, wanting to protect. I see a flash of whitish blue flash past me as Shoto gets his ice wall up. I’m trying to get my feet to move faster, but they’re not wanting to move me any further. I see Denki get behind me, but closer than Deku, as he’s trying to keep an eye to see if they’re coming after us. I try to take a look behind, when I hear Deku scream. “Just run! They have Chisaki!” Shit, we didn’t plan for this... I didn’t think they’d team up with him again! It failed last time! I feel myself starting to slow down, running out of stamina, since Deku and I had raced before this, I used most of my energy on that. It was really a stupid idea I guess. This time, and this time alone, I’ll admit it. Bakugo was right. Just as I was thinking that, he grabs me and throws me over his shoulder. “I told you not to be such a moron! Run faster, not slower!” I was panting as he had me over his shoulder, but I knew it was best to just not respond. We all quickly got back to our base and tried running into Rose’s room, but it was locked. I start banging on it desperately. “Rose!! Rose please!! The League of Villains are coming! And they have Chisaki! Please!!” We couldn’t hear anything from the room. It was silent, other than everyone’s heavy panting. “What’s this?�� We hear a voice say from behind all of us. We all scream and jump, not knowing if it was friend or foe. I turn around and see Rose looking at all of us, slightly concerned. “They’ve teamed up with him again? Oh dear.. this really IS an issue, isn’t it? Well, we’ll just have to tea-” She got cut off by a loud crash outside the house. We rush to the nearest window and see the ground is all upturned, new holes scattering the backyard. Shigaraki, Toga, Twice, Dabi, Rappa, Mr. Compress, and Chisaki walking towards the house. “Come out, come out little pigs! Or we will be forced to BLOW this place down!” Twice announces. “If that’s okay, of course.” He adds. I’ve never understood him, and I never will. I’ve done so much research on him as a villain, and yet, he still makes no sense to me. With his announcement, Rose clears her throat. “You guys go out, I will contact my crystals and meet you down there. Good luck Heroes.” She says before entering her room, using her gem to unlock it. Another thing I’ll never understand. Not knowing what else to do, but to trust her, we all head outside. I try to stay within the middle of everyone, hoping for nothing but to stay safe. And with that, I woke up. I never got to know what really happened, but I guess anyone can have their own interpretation as to what could have possibly happened. With the heroes working with crystal gems, would they have won? Who knows. Maybe one day I’ll have a dream continuing this one, but until then, we’re left on a cliff hanger. Thank you for reading this, and I apologize if this isn’t the ending you wanted, but rest assured I’m not happy about it either.

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wintersongstress · 5 years

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Hey, just checking in on you; making sure that you're doing alright :) I've noticed that you haven't been on here in a while (even though you absolutely don't have to be!). Just making sure that everything's going well with you!✨

Hey, anonymous angel♥. This message made my eyes glimmer with happy tears, it means more to me than I can even say. In fact, I am overwhelmed with the sweet and thoughtful messages and tags I’ve received while I was offline these past few weeks. I really want to express how grateful I am to receive this sort of compassion. You have a big, beautiful heart♥.

Since you asked, I’ll be honest. I feel like some explanation is owed because some of you have displayed genuine concern towards my well-being. And that will mean content warnings for depression, abuse, and animal cruelty below the cut.

As I’m sure some of you have noticed, I have major depression. My mood frequently go down and I dwell in dark places, I suffer lack of interest, my head is full of negative, discouraging thoughts, and I tend to isolate myself when this happens.

The past few weeks were…they were bad. Staring at the walls, hugging my knees, bad.

I was having rampant suicidal thoughts and I felt so worthless and hopeless and sad. I couldn’t sleep at night. I had crying spells that turned me emotionally numb. I wanted to hurt myself. I broke down. I called in sick for work. I knew what was going on with me wasn’t something I could ignore and needed to be sorted out as soon as possible. I logged off of tumblr to give myself incentive and take action towards getting better, because this website tends to make me avoid my issues, and the state I was in shouldn’t be ignored.

To ice the cake, in that dark and lonely place, I found daily journals I wrote in while I was growing up and they unearthed a lot of the physical abuse I’ve suppressed from my childhood. It wasn’t pretty to remember being whipped and beaten with an 18-inch metal ruler, or being dragged down the stairs by my hair, screaming all the while. Neither was the punching, the kicking, the slapping, or the crying, trying to stop my abuser from strangling my cat, or hiding in a closet, too afraid to call the police and bawling for hours. I’ve only read 1 of the 5, and I don’t know if I want to read the rest. But I know that it something I need to confront and lay to rest. I can’t hold on to it.

I realized there is a lot more inside of me that I need to work through than I thought. Initially, the process was overwhelming and I thought nothing had changed. I was still the worthless, unwanted girl I was when my abuser would lash out at me—their words, not mine. It made me so heartbroken to read the way I described it, too. So perfunctory. But mostly, I was angry then and full of hatred. Like her. Having a parent with borderline personality disorder was a significant environmental factor that contributed to the development of my depression early on in life, and remembering that abuse helped dig up the roots of my lack of self-esteem and self-worth, and also feeling hopelessness and despondence.

The good news is, I went to the doctor and I’m on new medication and trying to see a therapist. I’m gradually easing back into my old hobbies. I’m hanging out with my friends again. I bought a car! I want to leave my pain in the past where it belongs, and for the new year to be of growth—as corny as that sounds. I just want to be better and not feel this way anymore, and that doesn’t mean ending my life.

At the moment, I’m feeling up. I know the next few months are still going to be a challenge and I have a long way to go, but I want to ultimately prevail. Normally, I really wouldn’t want to share or burden people with all of these heavy details, but the problem was I kept them in for so long that they festered. And hey, if you are reading this you did decide to click the read more link. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that. I’m so thankful for you and my other few tumblr friends♥. You guys always seem to put up with my disappearing acts. Please know that I think of some of you often and care about your lives as well, and that I’m always willing to listen to your troubles♥.

For those of you who have sent me messages or noticed my absence, I want to apologize for causing any worry. I haven’t been ignoring anyone on purpose, and I’ll respond as soon as I can. I love you all so much okay? Time and time again you guys have been nothing but kind and supportive and have reminded me of how lucky I am to know you talented, kind-hearted souls.

Thank you. For taking the time, for listening, for caring, for checking up on me. Thank you. 💕💕

#asks #anonymous #tw: depression #tw: abuse

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xoexoxhoe · 5 years

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Come Over (Part 3)

A/N: BACK AT IT WITH THE PART 3. Hope you enjoy reading this little series as much as we love writing it. But! Here’s the catch- There’s still a little bit more heartbreak left in Mingi and Y/N’s story... stay tuned for the ongoing series! Mahalo 💛🍃

Mingi (Ateez) & Y/N

PART 1

PART 2

Graduation came quicker than you expected it to, but you were still so distracted by everything that transpired with Mingi the week before that you felt yourself falling apart. You barely ate, you barely slept, and you couldn’t stop from fighting the urge to call him. After the ceremony happened, you found your parents who beamed with excitement, only causing you to regret everything about this day as you couldn’t reciprocate the same feelings. Your mother sensed it, asking you why you looked so sad, but you just brushed her off with some lame excuse of being uneasy about leaving school and pursuing the internship you’d been offered at the editing firm downtown. Being the good mother she is, she just pat your shoulder, knowing there was more to it but never pressing the issue too much. You hugged and kissed them goodbye before craning your head around the stadium to try and see if Mingi was around looking for you as you were for him. But, you weren’t surprised when you didn’t find him.

You made your way back to your dorm, graduation cap and gown in one hand, diploma in the other. Once you entered your room, you glanced at yourself in the mirror, “You looked beautiful today, but you didn’t feel beautiful today.” A loud sigh released itself from your mouth as you adjusted your creme colored blouse and the short black skirt, admiring your style. Mingi would like this outfit, you thought. You looked at your phone, its blank screen basically slapping you in the face with sadness. You wanted to call him- you needed to call him. The silence between you slowly caused you to loathe yourself even more than you already do. Mingi would solve it, he always did. You didn’t realize how passionate and alive he made you feel until he had slipped away.

You dialed his number, awaiting for an answer or some sort of outburst from him to no avail.

“Yo, you’ve reached Mingi. Leave me your name and number and I’ll call you back!”

You gripped your phone even tighter, calling him around four times more only to be greeted with that same voicemail. You decided to leave a message for him, even if he wouldn’t return your call. “Song Mingi, I-” you paused, feeling tears start to fall on your cheeks, “You ruined my life. I wanted to cry so hard last week when you walked away from me- in fact, I bawled my eyes out the moment I came back to my room because I know I fucked up. I never confronted my feelings about you because I myself was afraid of what would come to fruition from it. I couldn’t break the rules, Mingi, and I hope you can understand-” The phone began to beep, a voice coming from it stating that your message was too long and you needed to record another. Your cheeks heated up and you became furious, flying your phone onto your bed in frustration and hitting your desk with your hands.

“Keep going.” Your heart stopped completely as you turned around to see a tall, handsome Mingi standing in your doorway, suit jacket in hand with his sleeves rolled up from his white dress shirt and black slacks that looked devastatingly criminal on him.

“Mingi, did you hear-”

“Everything?” he nodded, “I did.”

You spotted pink carnations in his right hand, “Why do you have flowers?”

He looked down at the bouquet in his hands, then back to you, “You graduated right? And these are your favorite flowers, aren’t they?”

You blushed, “I mean, they are, but you didn’t have to get me anything.” He stepped into your room, placing the flowers on your bed neatly before crossing his arms as you continued, “I didn’t get anything for you, I’m sorry.”

He scoffed, raising his eyebrows, “Don’t worry, Y/N, I figured that much. I know you were probably too busy to get me anything anyways. It’s alright.” He made a move to turn around, but paused for another second, “I guess… I just wanted to congratulate you on getting the internship you wanted, I saw your name on the list outside of the English offices.”

“Thank you,” you stated softly, wanting to tell him everything and more, hold his hand, kiss him and tell him you were sorry.

“I’m leaving soon. Gonna head back to Korea for another position that opened up in a university.”

“What?”

Mingi tilted his head, “I mean, gotta get out there somehow as a writer, so… I’ll see you around, Y/N. Take care of yourself, alright? Don’t get too caught up in life’s disparities so much that you won’t be able to enjoy the prosperities.” He started to make his way out of your room until you jolted to the door, closing and locking it behind you.

You pressed your body against it and shook your head, “Sit down. Now.”

“I have to leave, Y/N, come on-”

“Sit, Mingi.”

He threw his hands up in defeat and sat at the edge of the bed, “What is it?”

You still had yourself against your door, breathing unevenly as you scraped your mind for the right words. “I know I fucked up, Mingi. But, the thing is, you took a part of me that I didn’t know I had. It took me this long albeit you screaming it into my face for me to realize that I had lost it in the first place. I know I was busy, I know I could’ve invested more time in actually trying to make something out of this- I never had confidence until I met you at that party. The moment you made me feel wanted, even if it was just out of a condition, had me feeling so passionately that I didn’t wanna lose it- lose you. I distanced myself because of that; I thought I was just a condition and nothing more. Can you imagine what was going through my mind when you told me how you felt last week? I was confused, and you didn’t even let me explain myself. So here I am, explaining to you- telling you, I’m not letting you leave this room until you agree to be with me, because I know that I deserve you, and I couldn’t live any longer knowing that you’d settle for anyone that isn’t me. I make you happy, I know I do. I may be busy, but I wanna be busy with you, Song Mingi. I want your bad days, your good days, or even days where we do nothing but sit together and enjoy silence; I want you.”

Mingi had his eyes fixed on you, the burning look he gave was almost unbearable. “Two years ago, October 24th, Johnson B Hall karaoke night. There was that drunk best friend of yours sucking face with my roommate. You were in the corner, watching that crazy foreign exchange student sing some obscene version of Big Bang’s ‘Fantastic Baby’. You wore a ripped pair of jeans, fresh white adidas, that neon pink hat I always told you to take off- but, you were beautiful. My drink was half full with some Jameson whiskey I copped off of a freshman who gave me attitude for no reason. I think I punched him that night, but honestly, I was too enamored by your presence to have even cared.”

Your tears slowly started to return as Mingi continued to list off everything he remembered about the night you both met. “I walked up to you, asked if you wanted to finish my whiskey because the Lord knows I hate that shit. You took my cup, downed it willingly, shoving it back into my hands once you finished. I immediately gravitated towards your natural aggression,” he smirked, “You were the first girl to ever talk to me like that. When I didn’t move, you told me to either sit down to talk or keep moving, so naturally I sat down, conversated with you, got to know you- Then the contract was born, all because you were looking for a distraction, not a boyfriend.” He pushed himself forward on the bed, letting his feet touch the ground, “I have to admit, I didn’t want anything serious at the time either, but I knew for a while that I was capable enough to do this with you if you were to change your mind.”

Your heart dropped, and so did you. You sank to the floor, incapable of carrying your own weight anymore. You sobbed, unable to stop the retractions of your chest, feeling heartache both physically and mentally. Your makeup began to run down your face, leaving you hopeless and vulnerable against Mingi. Before you knew what was happening, you felt his arms surround you. You looked up to see his face right in front of yours. He caressed your chin, “Y/N… I remembered every moment we had together because I didn’t care for anyone else but you. I want you, and only you. Convince me not to go, baby; because for you, I’d do anything.”

“Stay with me, Mingi.” You leaned into his kiss, feeling your pain and wariness wash away as he wrapped his hands in your hair, tugging at the nape of your neck.

“Gladly.”

The two of you ended up staying in his apartment that night after he helped you move out. Life remained unclear as to where you both would go for your post-graduate escapades, but the one thing that's certain is that you had each other; and this time, you weren’t going to let your life get the best of you. You were going to get the best out of life.

#ateez #ateez imagine #ateez scenario #ateez soft hours #atiny #ateez mingi #song mingi #ateez yunho #ateez seonghwa #ateez hongjoong #ateez yeosang #ateez jongho #ateez wooyoung #ateez san #kpop #kpop imagines #ateez series #ateez writing #ateez story

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codetrainwreck · 6 years

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Lelouch of the Re;surrection Summary

This summary is extremely outdated/wrong and only here still for historical purposes. alchimique doesn’t speak Japanese at all so it was bound to be wrong in places.

I made a new, accurate summary after actually seeing the movie myself in Japan which you can view here.

This summary compilation post was sourced from:

My friend alchimique who went to Japan and saw the movie (check out the merchandise and cafe pics on her Twitter!)

An anon from /m/ who also saw the movie and posted the movie pamphlet pictures

Japanese Twitter

touchreceptor’s summary, she also saw the movie!

Australians who saw the movie at the Madman anime festival

Screenshots used are from the existing trailers, review screenshots, KMF lineart, the movie pamphlet, and also the week 6 Japanese theater film strip bonus item. Major spoilers, obviously.

I have 3 disclaimers:

This summary is not perfect

No, I haven’t seen it yet either

I am, and always have been, a Schneizel fangirl only. I don’t ship Lelouch with anyone and I don’t have an agenda here. I have to say this at the start because depending on who/what you ship, this summary is going to make you question reality.

There are more pictures of Eyebrows-kun than other characters because he’s pretty and I’m the person compiling this so enjoy like, all of his appearances lmao.

Onwards!

(If you need a primer to Zilkhstan characters/stuff/lore, check out this post)

Opening scene is the first 5mins from the BD/DVD fan disk that was released before: Tamaki makes a 2nd cafe. Ohgi and Villetta are there with their son, Naoto, named after Kallen’s brother / Ohgi’s friend. We get narration that world is at peace. Nunnally is helping with refugees in the desert area near Zilkhstan. They get ambushed. Shalio is able to “predict” (we’ll get to that later) all of Suzaku’s movements thanks to his sister’s Shamna’s prophecies. There’s a trap set in the desert where Suzaku’s KMF lands. Suzaku and Nunnally get captured.

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After Suzaku’s captured, it cuts to a portable TV in back of a truck showing cartoons of a cat and dog on a trampoline and a kid is pointing and giggling at them. The cartoons get interrupted by news about Nunnally and Zero going missing. CC lowers the volume and talks to Jeremiah. It pans to right to reveal a person wearing a tan cloak/poncho and white shirt and pants. And a familiar hat. Hat flutters away. It’s Lelouch. But his eyes are glassy and he’s like an empty husk. (The familiar clothes/hat is the cart driver outfit from the end of the R2 TV anime. However, the cart driver scene doesn’t exist in the recap movie and Re;surrection timeline. Additionally, it’s clear from Lelouch’s mental state that he couldn’t do something like drive a cart w/o CC’s help.)

(If you’d like to know more about how they got Lelouch’s body, check this separate post with an explanation from the movie pamphlet)

Cue “Kono sekai de”.

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CC is seen traveling with Lelouch. She’s walking with a giant pack on her back while he walks slowly in front of her wearing a bandana on his head and a white shirt. Then he’s in the back of a truck (no bandana) just sitting around until turbulence causes him to fall over.

CC is seen driving the truck but then it breaks down. She tries to pay a mechanic to fix it but he refuses. They then take a train. Lelouch is seen ambling down the narrow hallway while CC struggles with the pack and she ends up falling and getting stuck while Lelouch doesn’t notice. There’s a nighttime scene at a open air structure and Lelouch is seen sitting on a stone wall in the dark. A spotlight passes over him and CC drags him down out of sight.

Lelouch is seen lagging behind so she nudges him along. Eventually they tag along with other refugees on a truck along a train track. He’s wearing a poncho and is squatting down as she’s making arrangements. He gets up when she puts her pack back on and then follows her quietly.

Then they’re seen going into town and they’re in their hotel. Both are dressed in local clothing. Lelouch is laying on the carpet watching Milly interview Shestal on the news with big blank eyes. CC realizes this while she’s cooking local cuisine (meat buns, naan-like bread, etc) and then switches the program to the same cartoons on the portable TV as before.

On the TV, Milly was talking about “The Puzzlement in Hashvess”. Milly is still a reporter and Rivalz is now her errand boy. There was news about Nunnally and Zero being MIA.

CC puts the food on a middle eastern dining style mat. We see that Lelouch has a Code on his throat. It looks like a shadow there. Lelouch picks up a bun and squeezes it. It starts oozing meat juices (clear at first, then turns red) and THIS FREAKS HIM OUT. He screams a lot and accidentally punches CC in the nose and makes her bleed. She calms him down as he tries to run away.

He’s still glassy-eyed half-dead doll person at this point. CC looks outside and sees a suspicious truck. She hides sleeping Lelouch in his bed behind a curtain and gets READY TO FIGHT. Turns out it’s Kallen. CC asks why she’s there, and Kallen says they (her/Sayoko/Lloyd) were sent to save Nunnally.

But it turns out that The Bad Guys (a squad of assassins led by Kujapat, all from the Geass Cult) followed them. Kujapat shoots CC because if she was a tourist, she wouldn’t be in this particular location. After, Kujapat Geasses Kallen, making him her ally and her real allies her enemies, so Kallen ends up fighting Sayoko and Lloyd cause she sees them both as Kujapat. Sayoko subdues Kallen. CC tries to shoot Kujapat as he escapes but she misses. After, Kallen is released from Kujapat’s Geass and he tries to Geass CC instead, but of course it doesn’t work and him and the bad guys scram.

CC remembers Lelouch is still there. He’s quietly freaking out behind the curtain in a ball. Kallen notices him and goes “O_O” and everyone else is like “Oh. Is that LELOUCH?” The sight of other people makes Zombie Lelouch freak the fuck out. CC explains that this isn’t the same Lelouch they knew before.

Cut to EVIL SCIENCE DEPARTMENT. Suzaku is tied up in his dungeon thing. Shalio wheels up and is like “Sup, Suzaku.” Gets mad at him and whips him a bit. Shalio has a camera that displays different parts of Suzaku’s body zoomed in / CSI enhanced as well. Shalio is then called to do something and leaves Suzaku all alone. Also, Suzaku’s spinkick is such a meme even in-universe that they identified Suzaku was the new Zero because of it.

Cut back to CC and the gang. They’re in Sayoko’s truck now. Lelouch is looking through a kaleidoscope and drinking something at the same time. Liquid dribbles down his chin and someone (CC?) wipes it away. Kallen asks what the hell is going on with Lelouch. CC explains that she revived him in body only, but now she needs to get back into Cs’ World to grab his soul, and an entrance to Cs’ World is under the Great Prison of Sorrow in the Gimsurat Flats. Kallen starts crying and thinks this is all terrible.

They take their truck and drive it to the prison (that one in the rocky place with the bridge) and Sayoko disguises herself as a man while the others disguise selves as prisoners (the white suits). Lloyd stays in the truck. Sayoko leads them in and then she and Kallen kick the shit out of everyone. CC gives the prison key card to one of the prisoners and the prisoners let themselves out and arm themselves.

Lelouch is confused. CC leads them all to the Gate of Alam - this chamber with a door with the Geass signal on it (it’s got softer curves). Kallen tries to Lelouch it’s okay, but she gets upset when Lelouch just stares blankly at her. She starts crying, and Lelouch tries to comfort her and pet her hair (reacting to her sorrow) and she ends up bawling into his shoulder/chest. She doesn’t like it when he looks at her with his zombie vegetable stare. The Gate of Alam is covered by water. CC activates the flood gates, revealing the door and a V-shaped path with a stepping stone in the middle.

CC activates the door and transports herself and Lelouch to Cs world. Sayoko and Kallen (skin under eyes puffy) chat a bit. Meanwhile Lloyd is doing some hacking into the facilities and creeps on Suzaku who is still alone in the dungeon and is like “oh this won’t do~~”. As it conveniently turns out, the door they need is also right under the prison Suzaku is in.

Scenes with most of the new Zilkhstan characters. At the temple in the capital city, Kujapat tells Shamna about CC and teases Shestal. (Supposedly, he teases him for being a pretty face on TV. Poor Shestal. Not his fault he was born super pretty. orz)

Back to Cs’ World, we see beams of light representing Lelouch and CC and they land in a rocky place with that purple orb from the trailer. They approach. Lelouch is still confused as fuck. CC then sees Marianne and Charles inside the orb with a look of disdain. CC remarks that she can’t believe Charles still hasn’t let go of Lelouch after all of this time. They don’t speak but just appear and then disappear. As she touches it, it turns into orange and black ash.

C.C’s shaken by it but tries touching the orb anyways. I think there’s a particle effect that happens (the chaotic stuff we see in the trailer) and Lelouch FREAKS OUT and screams as he stumbles backwards and disappears. (You see the common theme here so far...)

Cut back to Kallen and Sayoko. As it turns out, the “prisoners” that CC freed to use as a distraction are not actually prisoners. They’re hired hands working for Zilkhstan to bamboozle CC and the gang in exchange for KMFs. Sayoko is subdued by a bald skinny dude with a killer beyblade and sticky gunk. Kallen is subdued by Bitool. The ass from the trailer is hers.

Cut back to Cs’ World. CC reaches for him but misses. CC is seen flying/floating about trying to find him. Various silhouettes appear here (such as Euphy). The last silhouette is Charles. The silhouettes all reach out then fall. Then you see a hand reaching for a bright light. Finally, CC wakes up in front of the door. The prisoners are there and have Lloyd/Sayoko/Kallen in burrito things. Then they shoot CC a bunch.

(For the longer explanation from the pamphlet about this particular scene in Cs’ World, please see this post)

So she’s just bleeding on the ground and then we see another figure standing in front of the door on this little stone step (there’s a channel of water running to the door; stone steps). And it’s..... LELOUCH.

Lelouch is back. And his mark is RED (sometimes it’s red, sometimes it’s like a scar). He tells all of the fake prisoners to kill themselves, and they do. Lloyd and Sayoko (she wasn’t Geassed in the recap movies) cover their eyes. Lelouch pulls CC out of the water and tells her that he’s back, and that they’ll have something to talk about later. He has both Code and Geass and there’s a new animation effect when he uses his Geass. But when other characters use Geass, the animation effects are the same as during R2.

Cut back to Suzaku. Suzaku is bandaged (very much like in episode 2) and it’s night time. He stirs to see Lelouch sitting on the ledge of a large window. Lelouch has Geassed a guard and a doctor (to patch up Suzaku). Moonlit. Lelouch is chilling and looking at a portable computer from Lloyd, casually talking to Suzaku. Suzaku gets up and staggers towards him and asks, “Is it really you?”

And then Suzaku ever so gently touches Lelouch’s face with his index finger to make sure Lelouch is real. The touch had higher budget than CC flying through Cs’ World. It’s close up of Lelouch’s lips and cheek and you can see how soft his skin is and that he isn’t a ghost.

CC and Kallen chat. CC mentions to Kallen that Lelouch intended to die and what she was doing here is out of her own selfishness.

Suzaku’s very emotional about Lelouch’s return, but Lelouch is just like “cool”. Suzaku asks him how he’s alive, what he’s been doing, etc. Lelouch tells him he’ll accept any punishment, so Suzaku punches him and starts screaming. Part of this scene is semi-graphic. The other part is abstract silhouettes (for some reason it goes white and the figures are blue/white/purple colors). CC has to pull Suzaku back before he beats Lelouch back to death. It’s the part from the trailer where he goes, “CC...” then collapses.

Suzaku takes a fucking chill pill and is now wearing a prisoner outfit too. Then they meet with Lloyd, who’s driving a KMF. It turns out that Bitool is still alive as he wasn’t with the other fake prisoners when Lelouch told them to die. Lelouch and CC are in a control room. Lelouch has that portable computer thing again. CC is there. Kallen runs in and hugs Lelouch. Suzaku comes in in his prisoner outfit and hops into one of the KMFs.

Outside of the prison, Shestal and a group of soldiers have traveled through the desert (following the earlier scene w/the Zilkhstan characters) and surrounded the compound. Lelouch is seen Geassing prisoners as “Lelouch vi Britannia”, reaches out via sound-only to taunt Shestal by insulting his family and calling him a dumbass, then issues commands to Sayoko, “K1″ (Suzaku), and the Geassed prisoners.

A fight breaks out. Because Shestal is in fact a complete dumbass (and also Sunrise hates me), he gets pissed and goes down below to where Suzaku’s room was at and breaks open the window with his KMF, the Jarja Bakah. (They don’t even say the name of his KMF in the movie, so I don’t think we’re ever getting an official romanization for this LOL.)

This is the part from the trailer where he says he’s here to get Zero. Except Lelouch and the gang are long gone and have left a Sakuradite bomb trap behind for Shestal which takes out him + the other floors in the prison. (Given the fate of his Akito character who also died after 5mins, I guess Legendary FGO Space Whale Nobunaga Shimazaki is destined to never live long in Geass stuff. Maybe there’s an eyebrow threading salon in the afterlife. Dude is so pretty but then those eyebrows haunt my dreams.)

Sometime after Shestal dies, Volvona asks for permission to go kick Zero’s ass to avenge his son. Shamna, however, tells him not to do this because of her “prophecy”. (We’ll come back to what actually happened here later.) Nunnally is seen in a tank on Shamna’s ceiling.

Meanwhile, at UFN HQ, Schneizel, Kannon and Rakshata are discussing their options for getting Nunnally and Zero back. Schneizel’s Geass isn’t always on. He only gets red rings in his eyes when he’s talking about Zero. Also there are the Indian teenager engineers working under Rakshata. Schneizel refers to them all as geniuses.

There’s a map during this scene that puts Zilkhstan around current day Pakistan and India.

(Also Schneizel is wearing glasses when he’s at his desk here and he looks really fucking handsome. His wardrobe has changed to be more form fitting and modern and he just looks like he’s everyone’s dad[dy] now. Holy fuck. I’ve spent 13 years drooling over this guy after seeing him flick his bangs around in the opening of the very first episode of the first season and this is just WL;K4L234KFJLK234019284IFSJKKLASFJ14L243JKL23K4324JK43KKLWKLDAKJLDAJKSDKJLAKSLD!!1111 I’M NOT A FUNCTIONAL HUMAN BEING ANYMORE.)

Lelouch suits up into his Zero outfit. This time he’ll taking up the Zero mantle as ��Lelouch Lamperouge” rather than “Lelouch vi Britannia”. Suzaku looks on with a frowny face. CC, who has apparently had enough of this fucking movie already, is drinking a martini by the window.

Meanwhile, Shirley is shopping. She tries to call CC on her phone, but she doesn’t answer. After, she meets up with Milly and Rivalz. Milly just got back from Zilkhstan.

Lelouch and the gang meet up with Cornelia and many other returning characters such as Guilford (not blind), Tamaki (wearing a white bancho jacket with a heart on the back w/Zero’s name written on it; JP twitter seemed to really like this lol), and Ohgi. Cornelia has a new outfit and a gun-sword.

Because Cornelia is like the only smart person there at the time, she’s the only person who is remotely hesitant about Lelouch’s return and such. Lelouch takes off his helmet and reveals himself to her. Everyone else chimes in and gets her to help. Tamaki also leans on her gun-sword. She’s upset that Lelouch is alive while Euphy remains dead, but she agrees to help them rescue Nunnally.

Some more people show up, including Jeremiah, Anya, Cecile and Nina. They chill at a local town and Cecile makes a gross drink for Lloyd that almost kills him. Outdoors, Tamaki and Ohgi are being dumb. Ohgi tries to kill himself after thanking Lelouch for Japan, but Lelouch-Jesus stops him from doing it and also forgives him.

Suzaku is talking to Cornelia in the town (she brought him a hot drink) when he notices Lelouch do the collar up signal from their youth for “let’s talk on the roof”. (Reportedly, this gesture is out of focus and only noticeable if you’re a fujoshi.) Up on top of a tower, Lelouch is on his tablet thing again, looking over a memory card full of info from Kaguya.

Lelouch encourages Suzaku to say whatever he needs to say cause Lelouch himself doesn’t understand his resurrection or if it was actually successful or if he’ll roll over and die tomorrow. Suzaku says there’s two things that he wants to say to Lelouch. The first is that he believes Lelouch should become Zero again. He starts to say the second thing, but he stops when he notices that Lelouch is watching Ohgi and Villetta’s wedding video which Kaguya included on the memory card.

The wedding was super duper extra and you also see other characters, like Minami from the Black Knights cutting the cake. Schneizel and Kannon got retconned into being wedding guests. Suzaku tells Lelouch that everyone’s been doing well since he died. Then the wedding video focuses on Nunnally who is happy and having fun. One of them mentions Suzaku’s unspoken line. Suzaku finishes it by saying that he’s happy Lelouch is back and how lonely the world is without him.

Suzaku asks Lelouch what he’ll do after everything is resolved It pans down to Kallen and CC on the lower level, who are having a similar conversation. CC looks kind of sad.

(To give you an idea of the pacing, we have now reached roughly the 1/2 way through the film point.)

We are back with Shamna hanging out on her royal couch with her 6 booby guards. Shamna has Nunnally in a sensory deprivation chamber on her ceiling. Shamna is trying to use the Gate of Alam in her temple to enter Cs’ World to do Evil Villain Things. Shamna uses Nunnally to enter Cs’ World and reaches for an orb, but she fails and is teleported back out.

Seemingly, Nunnally’s connection to both Charles and Lelouch makes her connection to Cs’ World strong.

Lelouch is disguised and goes to an outdoor train platform in desert and Geasses two of the workers and also all of the passengers on the train. By middle of night / early morning, all of the returning cast have new mechs and gear. Lelouch tells Suzaku and Kallen to fight in the desert while everyone else goes to the urban area to rescue Nunnally. They sneak their KMFs onto the trains then jump out of them.

CC gets a new outfit that doesn’t have pants. She gets into 2 seater KMF with Lelouch called the Gekkoi. (If you’ve seen Gundam, it’s reportedly similar to a Zeong.)

Communications are jammed for Lelouch and the gang. Lelouch and CC are isolated. Lelouch starts freaking out. CC asks him if he’s given up. Lelouch has no idea how to win against this enemy. That’s when CC calms him by taking a gun out and putting it against his forehead (but this scene is difficult to take seriously because of her pilot outfit and the way the scene is framed). CC asks him, “Does it feel like despair? Cause that’s been my whole existence.” Lelouch chills after CC outdoes his edginess. He starts writing down theories about what’s going on as he’s talking to CC, who has sensed Shamna’s power. It’s written in English and list is seriously like: “They seem to KNOW EVERYTHING!!1111”

Eventually, Lelouch and CC land in Shamna’s room and shoot the guards all to death while Shamna’s laying in her own Avatar pod chamber thing. Shama’s chamber opens up. Lelouch shoots Shamna with the gun on the KMF. But this is a trap - it triggers her Geass. Her eyes glow and the sigil is yellow.

As it turns out, Shamna’s Geass rewinds time 6 hours back whenever she dies. She doesn’t actually see “prophecies”, she just knows what happens then she shoots herself to force the time rewind and looks like a fucking prophet. In the earlier scene after Shestal dies, she has seemingly allowed Volvona to go after Zero, it doesn’t end very well, then she goes back in time to stop him. (Why doesn’t she just go back in time and prevent Shestal from dying in the fucking first place? Holy shit. Sunrise fucking hates me.)

So, this turns into the Edge of Tomorrow / All You Need is Kill. Shamna retains her memories when time rewinds. Her power hasn’t always been like this, but this change occurred after Lelouch made a request to [God / Cs’ World / the Collective Unconscious / Jupiter] to let time keep ticking.

After going back, she’s now in a large bathing area naked with Shalio. She has her hands on his shoulders behind him and tells him he can leave things to her. The camera pans slowly and reveals she has a Code on her lower belly. Like Lelouch, she has both a Code + Geass.

Reset 1: Lelouch is stopped from reaching Shamna because she’s ready this time around. Shamna tries to get into Cs’ World again, but fails. Schneizel arrives in Zilkhstan with Kannon on a helicopter. Volvona comes to speak with Shamna and says that the Britannians want to talk. Shamna shoots herself in front of Volvona and her guards.

Reset 2: Gino, Tohdoh, Chiba and Hong Gu are attempting [democracy]. (The blonde lady next to Tohdoh is a character from the ending stills of the Miraculous Birthday.) Jeremiah and Anya are in the urban area in Zilkhstan. Jeremiah destroys a power plant with a KMF that shoots orange juice laser beams. With the power out, Shamna has to wait for it come back up. Except Shamna does not have time for this shit, so she shoots herself again.

Reset 3: Lelouch and CC try again. This time around, Shamna sees Jupiter but wakes up in her chamber again and sees her guards on the ground, and assumes they’ve died again. But 2 of them are still alive, and they get up and restrain Lelouch. Buuut, it turns out that Lelouch Geassed the other guards, so the 4 of them them get up and surround Shamna. She asks Lelouch if he’s going to tell her to kill herself, but instead he orders her to sleep so she can’t rewind time again. He then sets a bomb to explode her temple after 10 hours.

In the desert above the city, Kallen has been fighting Bitool and Suzaku has been fighting Shalio.

Kallen kills Bitool. Bitool was piloting a Guard Scorpion mech called the Batalaran Do that can resist the Radiation Wave due to its strong armor. In order to beat him, Kallen has to ditch the new armor on the Guren. Her new Guren armor blows up after she launches out of an energy bubble she was trapped in, and she apologizes to Shanti, one of the Indian teenagers working under Rakshata who made the new gear for the Guren and Lancelot.

Shalio beats Lancelot sIN into the ground (its wings are smoking), causing Suzaku’s live Geass to trigger. Shalio is both stupid strong and screaming about his sister. Like Kallen, Suzaku relies on the old Lancelot gear in order to defeat Shalio - after his new wings are busted, Suzaku uses the old energy wings.

Suzaku lands a critical hit and blows up Shalio. He’s yelling about Shamna cause he can’t feel her presence anymore, and thus can’t get “prophecies” from her anymore. Every loop, Shamna has been getting updates on the battle so she’s been telling Shalio and the others how to adjust plans. There’s a scene full of red and black scribble lines where Shamna screams and dies w/o resetting time. Her Geass can’t save her because No One Fucking Knows Why.

Cornelia and Volvona fight each other (apparently a rematch battle of sorts; they’ve clashed before). Cornelia corners him and thinks he should pursue a peaceful option. However, Volvona orders his troops to fire at both of them so he can sacrifice himself to take out Cornelia. But since the army has quit receiving “prophecies” from Shamna, Volvona is the highest ranking person left and now kinda in charge of the country so the army doesn’t actually want to sacrifice him.

Nina turned into MacGuyver so she kills Kujapat and the other assassins by dropping a wire from a KMF into water and electrocuting them to death. Cecile gets shot but no one covered her wound and people are worried she isn’t gonna make it. It’s clear that Lloyd is more connected to people now. After Cecile gets shot, he’s holding her. (Presumably, he feels bad about not protecting her - him and Nina have Cool Glasses that project Blaze Luminous shields.) Sayoko, Ohgi and Tamaki are in the urban area but it’s revealed after 12-13 years that Ohgi is about as good at running as Lelouch is.

Lelouch and CC go to get Nunnally out of the tank, but she’s in Cs’ World. They use Shamna as a route into Cs’ World. Lelouch finds Nunnally there through the fog laying on the ground. She wakes up and sees him and is shocked. They’re swallowed by black particles in Cs’ World. Lelouch holds her to his chest with the black and white filtering effect. Lelouch starts to Geass the approaching black mass, but then changes his mind, saying that Geass is his sin.

Following, a giant pair of rainbow hands emerges from the darkness, lifting the two up and the scenery turns colorful again with literal rainbows, and they’re safely teleported out of Cs’ World. Lelouch recognizes these hands as the people who helped him earlier when Cs’ World tried to consume him. In the real world, Shamna’s Temple explodes. The towns people of Gralbahd notice it.

While Lelouch is getting Nunnally, CC talks with Shamna as a distraction. It turns out that Lelouch’s Code is from Charles (hence the location of it on his body), but his Code and Shamna’s are both “incomplete” or “corrupted” (these words are the descriptions used by Japanese Twitter, I do not know what an “incomplete Code” is supposed to be). It’s explained here that Shamna’s goal was to use Cs’ World to make the world more fair for Zilkhstan. As a mercenary country, their economy was screwed pretty hard by Zero Requiem. However, she doesn’t want to return to being a mercenary culture, she wants them to be able to have peace too. (So... why not join the UFN?)

The movie pamphlet doesn’t mention fixing Zilkhstan at all, but rather that she’s doing this for Shalio’s sake since he’s disabled, similar to Lelouch’s goal in the anime. These can certainly be the same goal, but the pamphlet explains it differently.

Lelouch wakes up. Nunnally, Suzaku and Kallen are all there. They look outside and see shooting stars. The Ashford gang sees it too. Lelouch fulfilled his promise to see the fireworks with everyone. Lelouch talks with Nunnally. She begs him to be with her now, but she’s grown up now and doesn’t “need” him anymore. She’s sad, but she still smiles as Suzaku looks on. Kallen and Suzaku part ways; Suzaku now in a blue hoodie with the Zero suit in his arms.

The movie pamphlet contains pictures and a piece of the script where everyone parts ways.

CC is packed up already and is about to join a refugee caravan. Kallen comes and gives her the imitation Cheese plush. CC intends to depart. Then we see that Lelouch has run to catch up to her and is out of breath (lol). He says he wants to go with her, she tells him to stay with Nunnally or hit up Shirley, but he says that Nunnally doesn’t need him anymore and it’s too late for him to contact Shirley. CC tries to brush him off by saying she doesn’t even have a name. Lelouch replies that she can call him LL (pronounced L2), for Lelouch Lamperouge. CC starts crying and the 2 hold hands while walking through the refugee caravan together. “Revive” plays here.

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During the credits, we see a bunch of pictures:

Cecile recovers while Milly jabs Lloyd. Cecile looks annoyed about it.

Nunnally holding a puppy while hanging out with Kaguya + the Chinese Empress + the assumed EU girl (from the Miraculous Birthday ending stills) and they’ve all got matching outfits

Zerozaku visits the candle place from R2

Arthur is chilling w/another cat (btw, according to a staff member, Arthur is a girl cat)

Kallen with the new Indian engineers who hang out w/Rakshata (see: the Guren manga), Kallen is apologizing to Shanti for blowing up the Guren armor

Jeremiah and Anya are back on the orange farm with Sayoko hidden in a bush

Volvona and Cornelia sign a treaty with odd metallic heart in background while Gino, Kaguya, and the blonde girl’s secretary look on

Shirley gets a phone call

Villetta and Chiba are making food in the kitchen while Tohdoh has a child in a harness (unknown if it’s Villetta and Ohgi’s son or if Tohdoh and Chiba had a kid)

Ohgi reading a doujinshi about Tamaki’s love for Zero

In the post-credits scene, we see Lelouch and CC in front of a pile of bodies. They’re wearing complimentary black outfits that super extra fabulous and blingy. Lelouch has a rose choker. CC has a black transparent veil. Lelouch and CC have gone off to find other Geass users, take the power from those who can’t control it, and find those with the power to control it. The camera is facing Lelouch’s back. We hear him give the speech about how “The power of the King may isolate you”. He turns around to face who he’s talking to - you, the audience.

#code geass #lelouch of the resurrection #spoilers #lelouch lamperouge #cc #summary

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narusakufantastic · 5 years

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W.I.P

Growing up with two pro hero parents isn't that bad it's actually fun but there are some drawbacks. Like the fact that they are a little overprotective. One time when my quirk developed my parents put pillows on my hands so I wouldn't hurt anyone. That's because I have healing and super strength it works like this, the stronger I get the better my healing powers are. Another thing that sucks about having pro hero parents is that people think things are just handed to you.

That's pretty hurtful because I work my butt off to prove that I'm just like everyone else. My name is Mayu Nabari the daughter of the hero Apollo and Madame Strength. I've had a pretty normal life I have an older brother Souma who I'm pretty close to and I've made a few friends. My best friend is Neito Monoma we've done pretty much everything together. We both applied for U.A at the same time but then after I got into class 1A and he got in 1B there was a rift that was forming.

He seems so angry and bitter now like every time I see him, he looks so angry with burning hot glare. That burns into the back of your head. I don't know what to do every time I try to talk to him we end up arguing and I end up with a pit of guilt brewing in my stomach. Am I that bad of friend to not understand what's wrong, for not understanding why he's so bitter?

We were supposed to be there for each other but now I'm not sure. I have other friends like Todoroki, Kendo, Hitoshi, Yamaguchi, and others."Hey Nabari-Chan!" I hear from the bubbly Ami

Yamaguchi. "Oh, greetings Yamaguchi."

"You ok?"Her voice had some mild concern in it.

"Yeah, I just got lost in thought, "I told her not voicing my concerns with the Neito Monoma situation.

"Well if that's the case mind if we sit with you at lunch?"Yamaguchi asked.

"No of course not."I give her a gentle smile.

I watch her grab our purple-haired tired-looking friend Hitoshi. “Come on!” I can hear Yamaguchi giggling as she practically dragging him.

Ami Yamaguchi and Shinsou Hitoshi both of them use to be in C class now they are in B class. They’ve been secretly dating for a couple months at least maybe longer. Even before that it would be weird seeing one without the other. Meeting them was one of the best things to ever happen. I could go on and on but that would take forever and we have more important things to address.

Like the fact that I can feel someone glaring at me, so I turned around to who it is. Can you guess who it is I’ll give you a hint? He hates A class, he’s my childhood best friend, and he has a copy quirk. Yeah, it’s Neito because who else would it be but I don’t know what we did this time. “Hey what’s up with him this time?” I asked.

They look at each with a confused look on their faces as if they expect me to know. There was an awkward silence that felt like hours of us not talking expecting the other to say something. Only to be broken by Neito walking over to our table “Why is it that you always have to be in the spotlight?”

I blinked several times in confusion not understanding at all what he meant. “I’m sorry what do you mean?” I asked him clearly lost with a confused look on my face.

That clearly annoyed him as he gave me the same kind of look Bakugou gives me when don’t listen to him. The look that screams get away or I will hurt you, where it looks like you're going to pop a blood vestal. “How could you not know!?” He asked almost full-blown shouting at me.

“Umm Nabari-chan you’re all over the news.” A quiet squeak came from Yamaguchi as if she was afraid to tell me.

“Wait I am?” I look back at her with a shocked look of confusion. I tried to think of any reason why I would be all over the news but then it hit me. I had left with my dad who's been a teacher here since we got the dorms to pick up something I had left at the house. When somehow I don't know how but The Marionette spotted us and a fight ensued. My mom ended up interfering but The Marionette got away. "Neito look I wasn't trying to start anything I swear," I spoke to him very calmly not raising my voice as would just make it worse.

"Tsk doesn't matter not like you care."He said with a hint of anger behind his voice anger towards me.

Kendo walks over to put a stop to this about to karate chop Neito when I stop her. "It's fine really you don't have to, "I told her wanting to avoid making things worse than they already are.

"Are you sure?" she asked and looked at me with a concerned look in her eyes.

"Yeah it's fine, don't worry about it, I can handle this."I weakly smile trying to hide the fact that I was hurting on the inside.

"Okay," she said with a little uncertainty in her voice.

I got up and stood there with my arms crossed trying to hide the fact that his comment did upset me. "I'm sorry that I'm all over the news it's not like I try to believe me. I try to stay out of the public eye as much as I can."

"Yeah must be nice have pro hero parents and being able to get anything you want!" he pretty much shouted at me.

Honestly, it took pretty much everything in my power to no cry. "Excuse me!?!!"I ended up shouting back probably not the best idea but that's what happens when you're full of emotions.

"I mean let's face it how else would you get into A class!" he shouted his voice full of anger and resentment now that one really hurt.

"SCREW YOU!"I was so hurt by that comment he knew better than anyone how hard I worked and how I wanted to be seen as my own person. Heck, he was even there when I dyed my hair.

I immediately burst into tears and ran out of the cafeteria straight towards the dorms. This is the first time I have ever skipped any of my classes. Instead of curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out I decided to take out my feelings in my room. First thing I did after getting into my room a punch the punching bag that was hanging down from the ceiling right off the hook. The second thing I did was punch a hole a big one into said punching bag not some small quarter-sized hole a big bowling ball sized hole. I basically tore up my room and from the punching bag was everywhere, pictures were on the ground, and broken glass shards everywhere. Finally, I do what would be considered normal I climb onto my bed and sob. "How can I be a true hero if everyone thinks I'm here because my parents are heroes?"I asked myself still crying my eyes out.

After probably hours of crying, I hear a knock on my door. I reluctantly got up to see who it is drying my eyes and wiping my tear-stained face to try to hide the fact that I had been bawling my eyes out. I opened the door to see none other than Todoroki which shocked me because I was expecting it to be the girls, but knowing them they have something planned for tonight. “Oh hey, Todoroki!”I force a cheerful tone and smile trying to hide my pain but my room says it all. “Can I come in?” He asked sounding like he was concerned while still being monotone.

“Umm sure just mind the mess,” I told him as my room was an obstacle course. He walked in trying not to step on anything that was on the floor that wasn’t supposed to be on the floor when I hear a crack that sounded like glass breaking.

“Oh sorry.”Todoroki apologized bending down to pick up what he had stepped on. I look over to see what he stepped on only to see it was a picture of 10-year-old me with Neito. “It’s okay it’s my fault for knocking it down.”I didn't want him to feel bad for stepping on it. “So this is from when you were kids?” He asked curious about my childhood with Neito. “Yeah, we just had won a race thanks to his copy quirk,” I said as a small smile formed remembering the good times.

“You guys were really close I take it.”I gave Todoroki a miserable nod still hurt by what Neito said to me. Todoroki then did something that really surprised me he wrapped his arms around me hugging me. I hug back despite being shocked I honestly needed that after what Neito said. “Thank Todoroki I honestly need this.”

The hug didn’t last too long but it was nice and I don't know if it was because of the fire half or not but the embrace was warm. “So...mine talking about it?” Todoroki seemed unsure on, whether that was alright to ask or not. “I guess.”I shrugged in response as I felt like I needed someone to vent to. “So why did that comment make you so upset?”I could have guessed that would, the first thing he’d asked.

“Honestly had anyone else said that I would have been mad, but it wouldn’t have made me cry, it’s because it was Neito that it hurt so much.”His face looked like everyone started to make sense as I explained why. “I’m sorry.”Todoroki apologized to feeling bad that happened.

“Don’t be it’s not your fault.” I hug him not wanting him to feel bad about what Neito said. “You know you can always talk to me if you need to?”He asked me this time he was hugging back. Truth be told I didn’t want the embrace to end it was warm and comfortable plus I really liked Todoroki. “Do you want me to help you clean up this mess?”

“Yes, that would be nice.”I smile and nod as we clean my room.

“You’re going to need a new punching bag.”

I giggle at him pointing out the obvious. “Yeah, I punch things when upset.”I hear a small chuckle come from him. After what I won't say was 15 minutes of cleaning the room was finally clean. “Thanks, Todoroki.”A piece of my hot pink hair had fallen in my face and he gently pushed it out. That action caused me to blush a little but I hid it well trying not to make my feelings obvious to everyone.

Todoroki gave me a small smile it was nice because he doesn’t show it often. It didn’t take me long to notice that I forgot to put back up the sign of Mineta’s with a big red circle and line threw his face. I think Todoroki noticed that because we bent down at the same and made direct eye contact. “Don’t worry Todoroki I got it."He nods getting up so he let me get the sign. I hang the sign back smiling “There we go now the room is back to normal.”

“Yeah...umm if you ever need someone to talk to I’m open,” Todoroki said rubbing the back of his neck. Hearing that from Todoroki just made my terrible day better “Thanks Todoroki I appreciate that very much.”

We eventually got tired of standing so we just sat on my bed

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years

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Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me I give myself self-indulgent requests according to this marvelous card!

Corpse Party fanfic in 2019, would’ve fucking thought I could go this far in my previous fandom obsessions? Not me, that’s for fucking sure. So, huh... Here is my tribute to the first fandom to have brought me the whump chills.

(not to mention my first whumpy shit was for Corpse Party, so you bet your sweet ass that this stupid franchise is important to me whenever I remember about it lmao. Good horrific, whumpy times from 2013.)

I’ll Be Fine, I Guess

Summary: Sometimes you just happen to get stabbed in the dark corner of a shady alley to save your crush. That's how life is, sometimes.

Fandom: Corpse Party (Everyone Lives AU (yeah)) Ships: Ayushiki (Yoshiki/Ayumi)

Wordcount: 1.3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

That was kind of… unfortunate, he’d have guessed.

Not that he didn’t expect that to happen, at all: it was kind of obvious he’d eventually find himself with God knew what in God knew where and die a painful and ridiculous death. His life had always been kind of ridiculous anyway: he’d obviously not leave the world peacefully with kids and grandkids and whatever the good and lucky people have in their life when they pass away from old age or sickness or whatever.

No, he was going to go out with style (and an end that could have featured in some shitty anime).

Everything about the situation was awkward and ridiculous. They were in some shady back alley, there was his class rep getting assaulted by some ever shadier dude with a cutter, it smelled like piss and blood and garbage, and the guy was even dressed in black with a face mask and everything. It couldn’t get worse than that, really, in terms of clichés.

Alas, that was where they were currently standing. In a shady back alley, in the darkness, surrounded by foul odours and with blood pouring all over the place to match. The dude was unconscious on the floor, head smashed against some bin (ha, fitting), and there were tears mixing in with his blood and the rep’s DNA.

Yeah, it really wasn’t a good situation to be in, right here and there.

“Oh my God, Kishinuma, why did you do that?!”

The class rep, Shinozaki, kept screaming in his ears as she was sitting him against a wall (more like he let her do so, her shaky little arms weren’t going to do that on their own). He’d have usually minded having someone fret over him so much to the point she was hyperventilating; but he found himself unable to make fun of that and instead decided he’d be a responsible senior for fucking once.

“Hey, Shinozaki… No need to cry, y’know… Just call an ambulance or somethin’…”

She stared at him with swollen, puffy red eyes and a bawling jaw, but only nodded in silence and pulled out her phone. Putting it right against her ear, he could tell her fingers were shaking like leaves in the winter wind, barely able to hold the thing in its place, as her voice only matched. Truly, she had never seen the horrors of the world.

She should have never had, all things considered. Shinozaki was too good for this bullshit.

He simply listened to her telling the cops about the shithole they had found themselves in, lying his head against the wall. In itself, the wound wasn’t hurting as badly as he’d have thought: getting stabbed was like getting punched, except that he was bleeding profusely afterwards and that it was much worse to deal with. He had gotten punched before, that wasn’t a big deal. The pain only started flaring afterwards, and the blood loss was the worse experience he had ever gotten through (after getting disowned, that was).

On second thought, the situation was kind of ironic. He had had no idea why he had decided to save her from probably death (probably). He hadn’t even thought about it before jumping in some shady-ass street of the city where dealing drugs and public pissing must have been national sports. He had just… done that and he wasn’t even finding himself utterly stupid for doing such a dumb thing. Well, also all things considered, she didn’t seem to have enjoyed getting saved at all. Maybe he should have let her die.

Yeah, as if that was ever going to happen.

Shinozaki eventually put down her phone, putting it back into her pocket, call ended. Tears still flowed from her eyes like river streams, hiccupping as she fretted again, hands flying all over the place and breathing hitching too often to his tastes.

“Hey, calm down, Pres… (He attempted a smile: everything not to make her worry). I’ll be fine… I guess… It’s not that big of a deal, just calm down…”

“How am I supposed to do that, Kishinuma?! You’re bleeding and it’s all my fault! I… I should be able to do something about it, but what?!” (There she went off again…)

“Dude, let’s not go down that road… It was that crazy’s fault, wasn’t yours…”

“But you wouldn’t be like that if I hadn’t been there!”

He wanted to sigh until the end of times.

“Look, Shinozaki, I could have not jumped in there… but I did… and it was my own decision… So stop panicking, won’t be helpful to any of us…”

She blinked for a few seconds, staying idle.

“You… You’re right…”

Shinozaki rubbed her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform top (oh, yeah, right: that had happened soon after club activities had ended, great), trying to settle her breathing down. Good, that was one step in the right direction. Very good, considering he felt his consciousness gradually leaving him. He needed her to stay calm until help was there so she wouldn’t do something stupid and harm herself in the process. Couldn’t be that hard, right?

He had a hand on his wound, in his left flank. Not the best place to be hurt (he’d have rather taken the hit somewhere completely inoffensive like, huh… Okay, maybe there wasn’t an ideal place to be stabbed in), but not the worse either. Probably didn’t hit anything vital. If he was lucky enough, he’d survive and be able to forget this all happened after he’d have inevitably entered a comatose state. Sleep sounded just fine right now: the smell of his own blood made him nauseous, it was harder and harder to stand with time passing.

“Just, tell me somethin’, Shinozaki… How in the fuck did you end up here…?”

She didn’t respond, at first. Instead, all she did was to look away, bow her head down, bit her lip, and only then did she answer.

“I’m… not sure. I think someone pulled me in this corner by grabbing my arm and slamming me against a wall. Then he pulled out a knife and… and…”

“O-okay, thanks, don’t panic again…”

“I-I wasn’t panicking…”

“You totally were… (He smirked with the least credibility anyone could have ever failed to deliver on). Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad you’re fine…”

She seemed almost offended to hear him say that. Oops.

“And I’m not glad you got stabbed because of me, Kishinuma!”

“Oh spare me this crap, we just went over this already…”

Shinozaki crossed her arms, obviously hurt to hear him say that (was he inappropriate? Was she too sensitive? Who fucking knew!), only to soon sob again and, this time, give up all hostility.

“I… just don’t want you to die on me, Kishinuma…”

“Oh, c’mon, I wouldn’t be a big loss… (Then he thought of everyone he’d leave behind today if he died at this moment: the class, Satoshi, Miki, her). I won’t die today, I promise… Just… don’t cry…”

She crossed her legs in front of her, arms wrapped against them. If he didn’t feel so weak, he’d have tried pulling her into an embrace, just to strengthen her and not feel like she could be blown away by a breeze.

“You promise…?”

“Yeah… I know it probably don’t hold much weight to you… but yeah…”

He expected to get slapped, physically or verbally, but instead all she did was to put her hand on the one he had plastered over his wound like he was trying to repair a leak.

“I… I’ll believe you, then…”

Sirens started to echo in the distance as she looked at him in the eyes, no smile and only tears to be seen, fingers weakly clutching the back of his hand. It was unrealistic to witness, even if he was about to die would proper medical attention not be given to him soon. It was also pretty fucked up to realize he was somewhat happy to witness Shinozaki seemed to care.

Now to see if he’d be able to keep his promise…

#bad things happen bingo #corpse party #ayushiki #whump #yoshiki kishinuma #ayumi shinozaki #stabbing #bleeding #cw blood #violence cw #otp: shangri-la #bthb 1

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randomfandomfamily · 5 years

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A Tribute To Cameron Boyce.

I wasn’t going to do a big thing on Cameron Boyce, but seeing him on the screen again for Descendants 3 is making it really hard. There’s a lot of things I wanna get off my chest before I start bawling my eyes out. So here goes nothing, I guess.

My sister and I were adopted into a family much like Luke and the other children were. The episode of Jessie where he went looking for his mom really struck a chord with me because, at the time, I had wanted nothing more than to find my real dad.

I really related to Luke growing up, always being that one annoying kid who meant well. I admired him for owning that title, instead closing himself off like I had done, and I wished I had the bravery he had. I lived vicariously through the freckled boy in the screen, hoping that one day–one day–I could be as brave as him.

And it worked. I slowly came out of my shell. It took years, but ultimately it was watching Luke be happy in his own skin that made me want to be myself again.

Later, I learned that Cameron Boyce himself was just an all-around awesome human being, even off set. He was inspiring to say the least, and it was all the more reason to look up to him. And though I lived through Luke in my youth, I grew up aspiring to be half the person Cameron was.

Then there was Descendants. Just when I thought Cameron couldn’t change my life any more than he already he had, Carlos lit up the screen with a winning smile and a bright personality.

As previously stated, I was adopted into a family at a pretty young age. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a very nice family, and I ended up suffering my unfair share of abuse, both mental and emotional.

I worked myself half to death for them. I spent sleepless nights wondering what I could do to make them happy. I learned to cry silently so they wouldn’t “give me a reason to be scared”.

I was never good enough. I was screamed at, struck with hands and belts and told to be better. I was used, neglected, hurt, and the people deemed better caretakers than my mother didn’t care how much they damaged me.

Worst of all, they made feel like I deserved it somehow. My mere existence inconvenienced them to the point of abuse, despite the fact they had asked for me and my sister to be put in their care. My adopted siblings, their biological children, never got treated like I did, and neither did my fellow adopted sister. So of course it must have been something I did, right? I thought I would forever be trapped in an endless cycle of never knowing what I did to deserve my childhood.

But Carlos saved me from that vicious circle. The shyest of the four, and the only one who obeyed orders out of fear rather than obligation to impress. His mother treated him like he was good for nothing even though he did everything right.

He was terrified of the world he so desperately wanted to live in, and his mother made him that way through manipulation and abuse. I was heartbroken for him. I cried when Ben helped Carlos through his panic. I cried even harder during the scene in the kitchen. Everyone else looks away when Lani speaks, but Carlos just stares blankly.

The other three have ways to make their parents proud: be the most beautiful you can be, steal the most valuable object you can steal, cause any and all evil you can possibly cause. But Carlos doesn’t, and never did, have that option. Because there was nothing he could do to make his mother proud of him.

And that’s why Carlos breaking free of his mother’s control was the most life-changing thing that ever happened to me. I couldn’t figure out what I did to deserve my adopted parents’ abuse because I didn’t do anything. Carlos made me realize that not everything adults do are justified, and I don’t always deserve what they do to me.

I couldn’t tell you how many times I contemplated becoming the monster my parents wanted to turn me into, but I only needed to remind myself of Carlos, who stayed morally good despite his mother, to stay on the lighter side of life.

Carlos gave me the reassurance I needed that I am worthy of love simply because I am alive, not because I somehow have to earn it. I am not responsible for my parents’ happiness. I do not exist to be a verbal punching bag. And I did not deserve the abuse I received.

My life does have meaning, I learned that through a Disney Channel movie about the children of villains.

I am proud to be me because of Luke, I am brave because of Carlos, and I am compassionate because of Cameron.

I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. He was one of a kind, a true angel walking among us. And I hope he knows how much he impacted people like me.

For the damaged souls, Cameron Boyce was a light, and to us, he shone brighter than any star.

#cameron boyce

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oldladydatin · 5 years

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15 Years of Bullshit

My ex husband is fighting me for custody the man who lives in a utility trailer by the river, equipped with hammocks. The man who has child abuse allegations. Has decided he wants to go to court and fight me on custody. It’s a bit frustrating, I wanted to keep this shit amicable, I wanted to leave and be friends because we have two children who need that. But now we’re going to go to court. My lawyer asked me about the current custody situation. I said after the cops and cyfd were at my house I took away custody and hired a babysitter, I told him he couldn’t see the kids until he had started counseling, and eventually he did. However without any child support I just couldn’t afford to continue to pay the babysitter, it was $800-900 a month and now they stay the night with him when I work, however he can’t take them to his trailer because it’s not suitable for children so he stays here. So almost exactly a year and a half later I come home from work to my ex husband on my couch, in his boxers, and a ransacked house, just like we were married. It’s the most frustrating thing in the world. My lawyer said he’d work on getting me child support so I can hire a proper sitter and go back to strict custody that made me happier. I want sole custody or at the very least full custody, he said he wants 50/50, he doesn’t want to pay me child support. I don’t know how he can even ask that, he’s never attended a parent teacher conference with either kid, he’s never gone to a doctors appointment, he doesn’t sit and do homework with them, he doesn’t cuddle and read them books, he doesn’t get up with them when they’re sick, he’s not there to get them ready for school, he doesn’t take them to do fun things, he doesn’t even watch them when he’s at my house. The other day I asked him to pick up my kids medication and 3 days later he needed to go to school and he had no medication, which he needed for school. His reason for not being able to pick up a medication my kid depends on? Oh the kids were acting up? He can’t handle my children enough to be a parent, because picking up medications your child depends on is part of being a parent. But he has the right to ask me for 50/50 custody, and that’s some scary shit. I don’t know what I’d do without them, even every other week. I’m afraid of him taking them from me.

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary, and I thought I’d be divorced by now but that hasn’t happened, because of this. I don’t know what to feel. My psych teacher in school once said to me divorce is very similar to having a spouse die, that you go through a sort of grieving process. That all of the firsts would be difficult and they were. By far the hardest day of last year was July 4th 2018, that was when I realized how completely alone in this world I was. I realized I’d spent my whole life caring for others and nobody cared for me. My kids were in another state and I was alone. It was a hard day, and it made me recognize I needed to learn to be okay with being alone. Some days I am sad, I hate to admit that, but I’ve spent days crying about it. I hate feeling weak, I don’t want to admit this is hard, I’m just not the type of woman to show weakness, especially not publicly. I guess I thought I’d leave and it would be like going to disney land, the happiest place on earth. But there are days I am sad. What the fuck is up with that?

There are certainly days I’m happy and that I feel content, not so much lately with this guy on my couch like he is, it’s starting to feel like we’re living together all over again. But there are days when my house is neat and clean like I like it and I’m in the kitchen baking and I realize I’m not fighting with anyone, that no one is undoing everything I work hard for. I realize if I want to take a bottle of wine and some candles and go sit in the bathtub and sing at the top of my lungs, I can! There’s no one here to tell me I can’t sing, or bitch about how long I’m taking in the shower. There’s no one to bitch that I didn’t put enough salt on my roast, or I bake too much banana bread. There’s not even anyone here to bitch that I buy too much wine, and that candles aren’t a necessity and I spend too much money on making things look and smell pretty. Because it’s my house, my money, my problem and I have nothing to feel guilty about. I frequently enjoy my bathtub. There are days I see something I’d like to buy my kids or myself and I just do it, I don’t have to ask permission, I don’t have to fight about my choices.

I don’t know how you’re supposed to feel on your 15th wedding anniversary when you’re going through a divorce. But honestly today I’m pissed off. I’m pissed off about alot of things. I’m pissed off that he gave up so easily, I really am. His favorite line, “well you walked out,” no homie you gave up. The end of our marriage came on so many days and in so many ways. He made me feel like the most undesirable women in the world. I would try to cuddle with him on the couch and he’d immediately have an excuse to get up. We’d have sex and he wouldn’t kiss me. We’d have sex like once every 6 months and when I’d bring it up he’d say I was such a bitch and he didn’t want me. All the fights he referred to in which I was such a bitch, were usually me being angry because he wasn’t helping me and I was so overwhelmed. So as a punishment he denied his wife love and affection, and he never felt wrong for that. Everything that ever went wrong in our relationship was my fault in his eyes, including me leaving. He was always blameless. For the longest time because I didn’t want to believe this man I devoted my life to hated me so much, I’d make excuses right? Like well he gained weight, he’s older so his testosterone is lower, well he has diabetes now, and sleep apnea, these are all the reasons he doesn’t want me, because he just can’t have sex. My friends all believed he was cheating on me, but the thing is I trusted him so much I had hard time believing he’d cheat. I even tried one time sending him sexy pictures at work, just to have him say they were inappropriate and scold me for sending them. Eventually I asked him how often he masturbated, he said three times a week. It took everything in me to not just start bawling right there. But when he left I cried all day, and all night, I cried at home, I cried at school. I cried to my best friend so hard at school I was struggling to catch my breath. It was like someone died. I had no choice but to just admit to myself my husband didn’t love me anymore. That was an end. That’s really when I started flirting online and I started not really caring if he was cheating. I was just done.

An end came when we were fighting and I yelled if you don’t get counseling by the time I graduate then I’m leaving. His response leave then, I don’t do ultimatums. I wasn’t hurt like before, it was like I already grieved the death of our marriage. I was just pissed off that this “man,” was so childish. Like how do you even throw something like a marriage and a family away so easily? He did, he threw me away like 12-13 years together was nothing to him. I had no choice but to admit that we were better off without each other. I didn’t grieve, I felt so empty. I had no feelings left to feel. I just wanted to leave and the more we fought after that the more I considered things like taking my kids to a shelter, or staying with one of the few friends who offered. All the fighting was causing me to struggle in school and I eventually saw a therapist. Oddest thing ever but I saw a therapist to help me prepare mentally for divorce.

An end came when the transmission died in my car. I was having a panic attack and I was exhausted I had drove 14 hours home with a car I knew was dying and I wasn’t sure what I would do when it did. I had my children. But I got home and he looked at it and agreed it was probably the transmission. I lost it because I didn’t know what we were going to do, we were so broke, I was close to finishing school and I was scared it would mean I couldn’t and honestly I was exhausted. This was panic and anxiety. My husband looked me and told me he was going to punch me, he was serious, he was pissed off by my panic attack. I realized I didn’t recognize this man I was living with. The man I married would have held me, he’d have let me cry, he’d have said a million reassuring things, he would have cared. This man was filled with rage and was threatening violence. I went to bed immediately and just laid awake and thought about how that had felt.

An end came when my daughter was suspended from school. Her emotions were spilling over into school and I was so mad at her for getting suspended. I had to go to her girlscout leaders house to drop something off. This was a good friend. She knew some about the child abuse, I was so embarrassed to talk about it, nobody knew and even the few people who knew didn’t know the extend of the abuse. But this woman and her husband had heard and saw enough things that when I told her what I was going through she believed me. Nobody believed me. When we started talking to my daughter about being suspended she flipped out. She said that he made her do chores and him and my son sat on the couch and made fun of her. That her Dad would pick on her and push her around and when she got upset and said something he’d beat her. That it had been bad enough that he’d knocked her to the floor and choked her, he’d smashed her head into the door and she saw spots after, he’d punched, he called her names like a bitch, like she was stupid. She said that he always waited until I left for school and that’s when it would happen. She was crying and screaming and she kept saying that I wasn’t there to protect her, that I never believed her. I felt like the worst mother in the world. My one job on the planet was to keep my children safe and I was failing miserably at it. My daughter was being bullied physically and mentally at school and on the bus and in her home. And I felt helpless to do anything about it. I had one semester left of school and we’d be able to leave, but how do you get through a semester of school with so much going on at home. My friend offered to let us stay with her through that semester. I already felt guilty because she watched my son while I was at school and I wasn’t able to pay her, but I’d never have been able to go to school without her, she was already doing so much for us. We talked about ways for her to avoid him and how I just needed to get through that semester. We planned on how to get through it. That was the absolute worst day of it. And I did it and I got us out and she thanks me all the time. Even when we are fighting she always tells me she appreciated how hard I worked to get us out of there.

I’m pissed off that he’s still at my house and that I can’t do anything about that right now. I’m pissed off that he rearranges my house. I’m pissed off that he’s put us through all this. I’m pissed off that he turned into someone else. I’m pissed off that I’m broke because I’m paying for some divorce that he’s only making more expensive because he wants to fight about everything. I’m pissed off about the damage he’d caused me and my children. I’m pissed off that he couldn’t man up and be a Dad. I’m just pissed off. I feel like today marks the 15th year I wasted, 15 years down the tubes so I could end up a single mother struggling to do the right things for my kids alone and some days that just pisses me off! I’m going to open a bottle of wine, light some candles, and soak in the tub singing something women sing when they’re pissed off that some guy ruined the last 15 years of their life. I don’t know what that is yet, but it’s going to be epic!

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