#if they just had a message they would write a book yknow???

[francesderwent]

anybody who’s trying to make a career out of spreading the Gospel without the prolonged, committed, relationship-building aspect that you’d have as a teacher or a pastor…I’m biting you

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Alright, I read The Vampire Lestat all in one go in 8 hours a few hours ago, I spent the whole day at the library just reading it (i brought food w/ me dw) and then I came home, tired ass balls legs hurting from sitting and stimming for that entire time and I immediately went to bed even though I had so many thoughts that I wanted to write about, and now its midnight and I cant sleep and Ive realized that my sleep schedule is just fucked now, so yeah its The Vampire Lestat Thoughts Time now

I wanted to start this post off by talking about the post I made immediately after reading Interview with the Vampire, which was a very short one where I think I basically just called Lestat a very pathetic abuser and I meant that in a very specific nunaced way but I dont think i did a good job conveying that. Anyway, the only person who ever interacted with it was a blog that was called smth like lestats-left-eye and they interacted with it like 8 minutes after I posted it and the reason I remember it so clearly is that I thought that was really menacing. Like, imagine you make a post calling some character a piece of shit and then within minutes you get a notification thats like "characters-no1-fan replied to your post". But they didnt say anything mean, they were basically just like "you need to read the vampire lestat STAT" presumably because they thought it would make me think differently about him but honestly all it did was make me more convinced of his patheticness, less so of his 'abuserness', for lack of a better term, but I think thats mainly because the Thing that would make me call him an abuser was his relationship with Louis and he didnt talk about that very much, and all his other relationships were just like, weird. so. At this point i feel like I should clarify that wben I call him that Im not doing that to moralize or to be judgemental of people who like him, I like him, i just feel like thats an accurate way of describing him and the particular way in which he was manipulative and demanded love

Anyway, the first thing that made him really pathetic in my eyes was the way he 'debunked' Louis' claims at the start of the Interview with a Vampire section because, idek how to describe it, but theres just something so annoying about it. Hes like "I mean, I suppose its true from his point of view, but i actually didnt indescriminately murder random people, I only killed the bad ones, and he also completely neglects to mention our romantic walks and our cute little shakespeare-reenactments for Claudia, and also he says Im stupid and dont know anything but I was actually just keeping the knowledge of our power from him because he seemed so burdened by what little he already had :(" like come on man. And obviously I understand that the power-thing in particular was a retcon because the first book was a standalone, but these books are really well-written and they dont break my immersion so I dont really feel the need to do like, extensive doylist-analysis, yknow what I mean

Like, Ive been reading the ACOTAR series by Sarah J Maas and Ive been critiquing and complaining about those books on a sideblog and authorial intent comes up a lot because theyre clearly trying to say one thing, convey one particular message in an honestly very annoyingly moralizing way, but what the characters actually do and say blatantly contradict it, and for all that the series' fans talk about all the characters being morally gray, theres a very obvious refusal to have them be anything other than paragons of goodness by both the texg and those same fans. And those are not issues I have with the Vampire Chronicles so far, so when i say that I find that Interview with the Vampire section annoying, Im not criticizing the writing, Im saying that Lestat seems like the most frustrating genre of person. I mean, I do have some criticisms of the writing, specifically of the story, but I'll get to that later

For now I wanted to elaborate a little on why I found Lestat so annoying, and its the fact that he spent this whole book talking big game about being evil and revolutionizing the evil-game but then at the end he seemed so unwilling to just let the general public actually think of him as such, even though most humans considered it fiction, like he had to soften the blow at the end. And I do think its him just wanting to soften blow as opposed to him actually wanting to set the record straight because he cares that much about the truth or whatever, because I think if he actually cared about that, he wouldve been a bit more specific instesd of just being like "yeah, Louis said a bunch of things that are wrong about me, but I can forgive him because I suppose they were right from his perspective, even though they arent really" like dude.

It really feels like hes just using this evil-shtick as a crutch and as some kind of self-justification for being unlovable. Like, if hes evil and no one loves him thats fine because evil has no need for love, but if hes evil and someone does love him thats even better because then its a deep romance capable of withstanding anything, yknow what Im saying? But then he talked about the fact that demons in hell and vampires are capable of love and he talks a lot about his own capacity to love, so idk. I definitely feel like he feels a measure of resentment at the fact that Magnus, who was this horrifying stranger that immediately abandoned him, was able to inspire this great love in Lestat but his pretty self wasnt able to do the same with the fledgelings that he turned who were people that he knew and loved in life and/or that he spent decades of his undead existence with

Granted, maybe unlovable isnt the most accurate term to use here bc I dont think that exactly is what matters to him, but I cant think of a better one rn. Actually, now that I think about it, maybe its less about him wanting to convince the general public that he wasnt the pretty pathetic and despicable person Louis described him as, and more about him wanting to convince himself that Louis doesnt actually think of him that way. Or maybe 'cant' is a better word to use here instead of 'doesnt' because the way he says that Louis left out the less dysfunctional parts of their relationship kind of makes me think that Lestat thinks those parts being present makes his feelings and his view of these things unjustified, and I feel like theres a bit of an accusation there that hes purposefully trying to slander him, but the thing is, Louis has way less of an incentive to lie about Lestat than Lestat does to lie about Louis. Like Louis just kinda randomly agreed to do this interview from some guy decades after they last saw each other and then it got published. Even if you said that Louis was somehow masterminding the interview-guy, I just couldnt believe it because I dont see a reason as to why he would do all this and I dont think hes the kind of guy who just does shit for no reason. I also dont think hes nearly as spiteful as Lestat to do this. Also the idea that he would try to slander like this is stupid because who would care about this. Like, humans just see it as fiction and vampires are mad about him giving out the names and locations of vampires but I dont think they actually care about this niche insane relationship drama. And frankly, I feel like Lestat is just way more deluded. Like he calls Louis and Nikolas cynics but Im just like, no, I think those guys are realists and youre prone to delusions of grandeur. but then Im a pretty cynical person myself, so I would say that, wouldnt I

That actually leads really nicely to the second thing that makes me find him really pathetic, and its basically just the entirety of the last three or four chapters. Or, I guess I wouldve called them pathetic if it didnt look like they were at least kind of true ?

Okay so, while I was reading those last few chapters I was basically thinking to myself "okay, Lestat is obviously just making all of this up, I predict that the next book is gonna have a bit where Louis is like 'yeah, I read that autobiography of his and I guess i cant confirm or deny most of it bc he never fucking told me anything, but he just completely made that last bit up, I never went to come find him, and infact, now that hes done this ive decided that Im only communicating with him via passive aggresive autobiographies in which we continously debunk each others claims about our relationship'" because its just. come on, did those chapters not feel like a self-indulgent daydream? Like, "i was looking out the window the day before my big concert when my ex-boyfriend that I still love showed up and I went outside to see him and he was looking really bad in his jeans and sweatshirt but its fine bc i love him, and he hugged and kissed me just like he used to, like a lover <3, and he was sooooooo concerned for my safety and he asked me to just stay with him forever but this time I was the one to reject him, but then I still managed to convince him to go to my concert with me and we kissed before the show started and he was in the audience cheering me on after that, and it was the best concert anyone has ever seen and I felt so awesome standing on that stage, and then once it was over we were attacked by some of my vampiric h8ers but it was all good because my mom appeared out of nowhere to save us and she was wearing modern clothes obviously but otherwise she was exactly the same as when she abandoned me 200 years ago" hey buddy, i thought you were writing an autobiography not fanfiction about how you wish the people you love would stop abandoning you

Louis' behaviour for this whole section is the main thing that ticks me off because I felt that he was just so out-of-character. And obviously the characters that feature prominently in both books are quite different in both of them, but they are still recognizable as themselves which was not the case with Louis imo. And granted, there is a pretty significant gap between me reading the first book and me reading this one so my memory is a little foggy about everything that happened in it, but Louis was just way too outwardly-lovey-dovey for someone who, when talking about their relationship to an unrelated third party 11 years ago, decades after they last saw each other, at best seemed to look back on all that with complicated resentment. Like I just dont buy it at all.

But again, I was reading all that with the assumption that this would (at least partially) turn our to be made-up, and yknow, it still might I guess, hope is the thing that dies last and all, but Im a lot less convinced of that because of the stuff with Akasha

And now its finally time to talk about my criticisms regarding the story and theyre all linked to Akasha and her cringefail husband and honestly Marius too. Im curious if this is a hot take or if this stuff is something that a lot of people dont like. Like, if youre immersed in the book fandom please tell me if this is a thing where you read that I have some criticisms of the story and you immediately knew it was gonna be this, or if youre surprised because the majority of people find the lore very interesting. But when youre telling me, please do so without spoiling me, Ive come this far knowing a very minimal amount about these books and I would very much like to keep it that way and finish all of these books until I start to fully engage with the fandom but I am very curious. Also, I am open to discuss all of this if any of you would like that, just please respect that fact that I dont know anything that happens in later books and that I would like to keep it that way

But anyway. Full disclosure, I already didnt like Marius when Lestat met him in person, I thought he was interesting as a component of Armand's backstory but I really didnt want him to still be alive and I didnt want Lestat to find him and speak to him and then he not only did both of those things, but he was like super buddy-buddy with him in a way that bothered me. And as if all of that wasnt enough, he goes on this lore dump that lasts like 9 chapters that is so fucking boring I dont even have the words to adequately describe just how bored and tired I was reading it. And the things that were revealed in this loredump were just weird and baffling in a distinctly bad way, and I feel like usually when you get stupid worldbuilding in books that are trying to Say Something its to enhance the themes of the plot, but I cant possibly imagine how any of this stuff with Akasha and her cringefail husband and the demons who possessed them does that

Like, the main thing that I find compelling about Anne Rice's vampires is their humanity and the fact that their moral and existential dilemmas are fundamentally the same as the ones that humans face because theyre essentially just more durable humans, and while this origin story doesnt change anything about that on a deeper level, it still really bothers me. Because humans dont have this clean epic symbolic origin story where we all came from two people that can easily be named, we just kinda evolved into existence for no grand, religious, immediately-obvious reason, but we ponder our own collective existence anyway, just like these vampires. Hell, plenty of us even think lf ourselves as monsters of destruction who shouldnt exist for the way we hurt our environment and other creatures. And like, Im not saying that they should be talking about evolution in the 1700s or that I explicitly want it said that vampires evolved alongside humans because that would just be stupid in a new way, but idk. I guess what Im trying to say is that I really didnt need an explanation for how these vampires came into existence because I was engaged enough with their philosophical discussions and fucked up relationship dynamics that it didnt even cross my mind to ask any questions about their collective origin.

And just on a basic level, none of this ancient vampire history-bullshit satisfied me in any way. Also, the whole descriptions of everything in ancient egypt and whatever-that-keltoi-place-was-called just felt kinda off, like they were lacking the authenticity of all the other descriptions, and its not because we didnt spend a whole novel exploring those places because we only got a very brief snipped of Armand's backstory and that part wasnt lacking at all. I was initially ready to chalk this up to a classic combination of orientalism and racism, but honestly, given that the parts about the super-pale blonde people werent that much better in this regard, I think its mostly a case of us just not knowing a lot about these ancient peoples. Like, I dont know a lot about 1700s France or 1800s America but when I read about those places in these books I do get the impression that Anne Rice knows a lot about those places or that she did a lot of a research on them, whereas with ancient egypt and the keltoi-place Im just kinda like "well, this is obviously just a bunch of madeup bullshit innit". And it really frustrates me that I cant really tell if its meant to be made-up bullshit in-universe or if its meant to be true, but I guess Im gonna have to get used to that feeling if I wanna keep having a fun time reading The Unreliable Narrator Chronicles books

Regardless of the actual bullshit-status of Marius' stories though, I was quite surprised and very disappointed that Lestat seemed to just believe it with no issues. Like, 1984!Lestat didnt add any commentary to Marius claims, he just repeated them verbatim bc why not, and 1700s!Lestat didnt have any questions or doubts that I can remember. And like, even if it is true, why was he just okay with that being the truth, I feel like he should at the very least be a little angry at the revelation that theres these oldass vampires who have to stay alive or else all the other vampires will die. Again, to kindof tie this back to my previous point, humans arent like that, we dont have some kind of anker-point that needs to stick around or else we'll all die, so this doesnt feel like its adding anything to the existentialist themes of the series. Its also logistically kinda stupid because we're told all of vampire kind is tied to both of them but like, how does that work? What if you only killed one of them) Are all the female vampires tied to Akasha and all the male ones to her cringefail husband, or are all the vampires that Akasha bit connected to her and then all the vampires that were bit by her vampires are connected to her through their makers as well and so on and so on? Iirc we're told that if you killed one of them, you would kill the other or they would just kill themself or something so it wouldnt really matter, but like, if you could just kill one of them without the other one ending up dead, what would happen?

And like, theres things about these vampires that dont really make any sense, like the fact that their fingernails look like glass or even bigger things like the fact that drinking dead blood is very harmful but drinking blood from other undead people has a healing effect, but those things dont put a huge damper on the series' themes so far so I dont care about them

But anyway, the thing that bothers me the most about all this is that Lestat didnt see or acknowledge the obvious similarities between what Marius was telling him and what Armand's coven used to believe. Like, what's the difference, really, between "vampires were created by the devil and are servants of the devil (aka demons)" and "vampirism was created by a demon and then given to two humans who them created other vampires"? I guess its the fact that Marius doesnt let his belief prevent him from enjoying life, but then it doesnt really feel like Lestat needed to talk to this guy, or like hes actually as open-minded as Marius said he was. Like, Marius basically told him "unlike most people, youre genuinely open-minded because youre listening to what I have to say about how to gain meaning in life" and Lestat, who basically already believed the same things as Marius when it came to that before they ever even met, said "yes i totally agree"

On a similar note, how fucking convinient that Lestat had this weird improbable idea about Osiris being a vampire god and then it basically turned out to be true. Like not literally, but the two people whose story directly inspired Osiris and Isis were both vampires and theyre like, the first vampires. what are the odds of that

Also Im pretty sure Marius said something along the lines "most people dont like what I tell them about the origin of vampires because they want a clean creation myth and thats not what happened" before he started talking about it, but then it was just a clean creation myth ? Like, in a previous paragraph I said that humans dont have an origin where everyone is descendet from two people, and as I was writing that I noticed that the story about Anasha and her cringeful husband is remarkably similar to that of Adam and Eve. or maybe not remarkably similar, but similar enough that I feel like Im not reaching when I say that

And of course this is a story with characters that are unreliable narrators on purpose so all of this might be 100% intentional and might pay off somehow at some point, but Im not really gonna know until I read the next one I guess and Im gonna have a hard time motivating myself to do that when the ending of this one was so bad (to me!!).

Idk, basically what Im hoping for right now is that this series will comtinue to deconstruct and retcon itself, both because that keeps me on my toes in a way thats fun (especially because Im going in completely blind) and because godddddd I really dont want to deal with any of the stuff involving Anasha, i think its all so stupid. I really hope that in the next book it turns out that atleast the stuff about all vampires' lives being tied to hers turns out not to be true and thats shes just gonna be a strong old vampire whos special because of her super strong psychic powers and because her blood makes other vampires strong (which is another concept I really dont jive with, the stuff with older vampires being strong and making strong vampires, but I dont really have much to say about it beyond that, so I'll just leave it at this). But honestly, Im really just hoping that in order to not disappoint myself too mucj, in my truest heart of hearts Im actually hoping that Lestat just decided to dip his toes into fiction writing 97% into his autobiography and then that Queen of Darkness is gonna be an in-uinverse fiction book written by Lestat de Lioncourt

But again, I probably wont feel like finding out for a little while, and as I think about it Im noticing that its mostly because Im not looking forward to having the same borderline-spiritual experience that I had with The Vampire Lestat, where I entered this monk-like state of mind and then walked through the city to the busstation feeling like I wasnt occupying the same reality as everyone else around me, with this book that I have a suspicion that I will not like it. And before you ask, yes, I know that I would have the same experience because it had basically nothing to do with the plot or themes of The Vampire Lestat, its just that my legs were hurting because I had been sitting on a wood chair with no pillow and continuously rocking back and forth because thats how I stim when Im sitting, and also my brain felt fried from how I forced myself to focus and read this book whose language is pretty challenging for a non-native speaker for 8 hours straight

Anyway, this ended up being way longer than anticipated but Im glad. Believe it or not, even though most of this post was just me complaining about one thing or another, I did like this book and I like that it made me think all this and that it made me feel passionate enough to write it all down, even though I do genuinely dislike the ending and am not really looking forward to reading the next one. But I definitely will do it at some point, so dont take this as a sign to tell me what happens in it, I maintain that I do not want to be spoiled. If one of my hopes ends up coming true and you want to encourage me to read it that way for some reason, please only do so in the vagues possible terms. like literally just tell me "ayyyyyy youre right 👍" without eleborating. And if you want to be evil, you can tell me that even though my predictions arent true and make my disappointment even more crushing that way ^^

Alright, thats it, I hope you enjoyed this. Also, I did end up managing to go to bed an hour after I originally started writing this, and then I ended up waking up again at like 4am and wrote some more and then I took a nap and wrote some more and then I took another nap, and it just kinda kept going like this and now its 3.30 pm so. you better appreciate that even if you think my takes are bad

[burst-of-iridescent]

You literally called aang an incel and constantly mock him, how do you not hate him.

well yknow if it walks like a duck and it quacks like a duck... you are actually allowed to call it a duck.

aang kisses katara without asking for consent. aang nods when katara is called "the avatar's girl" in the ember island play, even though at this point they are not in an established romantic relationship. aang gets so angry at a satirized version of katara showing romantic interest in someone else that he outright says he would've gone into the avatar state if not for his blocked chakras. aang demands to know why katara won't enter a relationship with him. aang kisses katara without her consent, again, even though she has just explicitly said that she's confused. aang never apologizes for any of this.

that is exactly the sort of toxic, possessive, and entitled behaviour that characterizes an incel.

and that infuriates me, because book 1 and 2 aang - whose crush on katara was shy and harmless, who wore flower crowns and made necklaces and never once cared about gender roles - would never have acted this way. it's the writers who turned him into an incel and never had him learn and do better, and it is that very writing i am criticizing when i criticize aang. i truly don't know how much clearer i can make this.

loving a character doesn't mean that you never acknowledge their flaws, or missteps in how they were written. i love azula, zuko and katara, but i have discussed all of their flaws on this blog at one point or another. that's just what it means to engage critically with the media you consume. and sure, i criticize aang the most, but that's because out of everyone in atla, he got done the dirtiest when it came to his character arc.

ultimately, it doesn't matter what i say about aang, because it's never going to hurt him. he isn't real. but the messages about appropriate behaviour in romantic relationships that are being imparted through his character (in the latter half of book 3 particularly) to impressionable young children? those very much are.

and they need to be better.

[aemehhh]

Heya! I don’t usually wrote requests so sorry if I come off as awkward😅 I was wondering if you could write a small thing about gorino being with someone who’s insecure about their height

I’m 5’10 and sometimes I just feel down about it Yknow? I don’t feel desirable because guys prefer short girls or whatever, if this is to much you can completely ignore this. I do really enjoy your work btw<33

YAY!! I got my first ever request!!! :D

It's definitely not too much to ask, I think this is an amazing request! I had to ask some of my tall girlie friends about their experiences, because I am on the opposite end of the height-spectrum 💀 This is also a little rushed, so I'm sorry if it doesn't meet your expectations!

Also, I am so sorry I took so long to write the request! I hope you had a wonderful start to the new year!

Little message to the Readers in general; I just want everybody to know, you're absolutely gorgeous, no matter your height!!!

Giorno is ~20 and Reader and him are engaged, so it's an established relationship :3

Giorno with a tall! fem! Reader

Wc: 905, a short lil thing!

———————————————————————

This day was genuine ass. You went shopping with you friend and genuinely couldn't find a single piece of clothing that looked good or that fit right. Jeans that looked perfect on your shorter friend were way above your ankle on yourself and the long-sleeved shirts you tried, since winter is approaching, just looked so weird on you. You didn't even attempt to look for shoes, instead you told your friend you were going home because of an "emergency".

And there you were, sitting on your bed, cuddled up in a blanket and reading a book in order to distract you from the loud voice of insecurity that rang in the back of your head. Turns out the book wasn't helping, though.

It was a regular romance book, sappy as shit and a slow-burn. Usually you ate these up like crazy, but the main character was described as a short, beautiful woman. There it was again; having to lean up on your tip-toes to kiss your partner, your partner looking down at you, all those things that were considered super cutesy and desirable. You weren't that. You threw the book on the bedside table with a mad huff, throwing your blanket over your head.

Fuck, no, you're literally taller than your beautiful, angel of a fiancé. You lean down slightly when you kiss him, and you don't have to stand on your tip-toes in order to hug him. You just knew the nonnas on the streets send judging looks your way when they see you two holding hands.

Speaking of your fiancé, he entered your shared bedroom, seemingly home from whatever job he had today. You were aware Giorno most-likely already knew you didn't buy anything today; you've seen his subordinate follow you around the whole time. To be frank, you kinda signed up for constant supervision when you started dating the Don of Passione.

"Cara mia, are you alright?" Giorno spoke softly, he always does so with you. His voice held the upmost adoration for you; a tone nobody got to hear, but you. He knelt down on the floor by your bedside and lifted your blanket slightly to look at you. His beautiful, bright eyes met yours as he took your hand into his.

"Just a bad day, don't mind me, my love." You spoke and sat up. You felt Giorno's hand grasp yours just a tad tighter.

"I do mind, though. Something is bothering you, I can see that clear as day. Alessandro told me you didn't get yourself anything today either. What's the matter, amore? Please let me know so I can take some of the burden off of your heart." Giorno reached up and put his hand on your cheek oh-so gently. His touch was full of love, as usual.

You averted your gaze to your sheets. You felt stupid for thinking the way you do. You know all too well that Giorno loves you more than anything in this world, but you don't feel as desirable as other women. They would look so much better by his side, so why did he choose you?

You were silent for a little while, but then you started to feel guilty. Not telling him would make him feel as though you didn't trust him, which you did. So, you took a deep breath and told him everything. You spoke about your shopping trip; how it made you insecure about your height again and then about how your book made it worse. All in all, your head really wasn't up in the clouds and by the end, you almost had tears pricking in the corner of your eyes, which you tried masking by blinking a lot and looking at the ceiling.

Giorno noticed, of course. He stroked your cheek gently and pressed a kiss to the back of your hand before he spoke again.

"Amore, you're the most beautiful woman that has walked this earth. I do not care about your height in the slightest. I love you more than I have ever loved anything ever before. If these measly, cheap stores do not carry clothes appropriate for you, I will hire the designers personally to tailor the perfect clothing for you. If someone looks at you the wrong way, consider them dead tomorrow. There is nothing that would stop me from making sure you're comfortable and happy. You're the light of my life, the ray of sunshine in the early mornings of a beautiful summer day and I wish, I so wish you would see yourself in the way that I see you. You're perfect to me in every way, my love. Just seeing you smile makes my heart fill with so much joy, I wish to scream it out to the whole world. Sono pazzo di te, tesoro." Giorno's voice was filled with sincerity as he put a hand to your chin, gently tilting your head to face his eyes again. He then smiled and gave you a gentle peck on the lips before getting on the bed on top of you to hug you tightly.

Giorno's words made you smile as you returned his embrace, croaking out a quiet "I love you" before burying your head in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

In a world that doesn't see your worth, Giorno worships the very ground you walk on. He vows to do so until the day he dies.

[lactoesfreee]

not to defend Harlow, but his verse does not strike me as misogynistic AT ALL.

the line people refer to when they say that he is misogynistic says:

I had one girl (One girl), too boring Two girls (Two girls), that was cool for me Three girls, damn, dude's horny Four girls, okay, now you whorin'

People don’t seem to get that he’s calling HIMSELF a whore. He’s calling HIMSELF horny. Not the girls.

When I seen that body, you would think it was a dead body. The way I told my boys, come look

This lyric could definitely be said in a different way, but basics what he means is that the girl is so gorgeous it shocked him, like how how a dead body would shock a person. Like you’d think he’s looking at a dead body when you see the expression on his face when he sees her. It’s also a Boyz 2 men reference. Anyways, He’s so shocked at her beauty, that he tells his friends to come look and see for themselves.

Please don’t take this message badly, I didn’t mean to send this with the intention of offending you or anything, I’m just seeing so many people misunderstanding the lyrics it’s almost funny to me. Also, as someone who listens to a lot of hip hop, don’t ever take Jack Harlow seriously. He’s the most unserious rapper out there right now, so when I heard he was on the track, I already knew this song was gonna be campy.

Sorry for writing a whole book in your asks!

Ah, i figured theyd be talking about that line about being a whore hahah. for me, i knew he was referring to himself as a whore, but it grosses me out because he's collecting women like dolls because having just 1 is boring to him. and in the music video, theyre all wearing the same exact thing and following him around which feels like he doesn't care that theyre individuals, he just sees hot women to fuck yknow? thats my personal take tho, i assume its standard Jack Harlow stuff and he's not the only one that does it of course lol.

the dead body one surprises me, it doesnt feel misogynistic just a bad line skjdfsdf like i interpreted it as a play on 'drop dead gorgeous' but said really corny hahah.

i dont take it badly! i like having these conversations, and since i deleted twitter yesterday ive been dyin to know what people think of it so i've been seeking out opinions! im not someone that enjoys overtly sexual songs myself usually, so im kinda picky with the songs i listen to since it seems like so much mainstream music is sexual. but i respect people who make sexual music and listen to it! i think that theres better ways to go about it than how jack did, but i suppose it coulda been worse pff

[trashlie]

For the ILY pod have y’all thought of making bite size tiktoks or shorts for those who can’t really listen to two and four hour eps? Lots of ND listeners who can’t sit still for that long :(

Elle has been working on taking parts of our pod to shorten specifically for tiktok and shorts! But unfortunately we are... yknow... very verbose people who talk at length and sometimes it's hard to chop things down /o\ It turns out that youtube shorts have a very hard limit of one minute that tiktok does not (I didn't know this, I don't use tiktok myself!) so Elle has had to manipulate the audio a little to make it work for the shorts. As a fellow ND who cannot sit and listen to things (rip to audio books they just aren't for me) I get it! ;~; the pod isn't scripted, so we could try to explore how we might rehash some dialog? I know Elle tries to make more bitesize portions of our pod but with both of us working full time jobs it gets hard to dedicate a lot of time to doing a lot of splicing and dicing editing that I really wish we could do because I truly get it! (I'm constantly surprised that people actually listen to 2-3 hour episodes lmao although I tend to assume a lot of people don't do it in one sitting. I would actually be curious how people take those episodes in!)

But I'll pass this message along to Elle and we can try to get more edited bitesize clips for you guys! I promise it's not that we don't want to or anything; we're just very tired people who ended up doing a very low-rent podcast because it was, frankly, the least time-consuming way to blab about ILY lmaooooooooo compared to, yknow, writing essays back and forth but I totally get what it's like to be on the receiving end as someone who CANNOT focus on audio esp for extended periods of time!

This should be our tiktok account! (Please let me know if I linked wrong lmao like I said, I don't have an account and tiktok limits what you can do without one lol) I hope that helps a little in the mean time! <3

[twisted-tales-told]

5, 24, and 29 please <33

This ask game

5. My latest text message from someone is from Mot and it says: “if this ignites any sort of hockey interest I’m blaming Arik” which fair! I have in fact joined sophs Hockey goals of just spreading hockey love through artistic spaces!

24: do I have a collection of anything:

Well, I collect a lot of things. It’s kinda my pride and joy. I don’t want minimalism, and I see collecting things as a very beautiful self love thing of surrounding yourself in art and beauty for no purpose other than I deserve to live a beautiful life. My main things are, Books, Crystals, Prints, and scent-y things (oils, creams, perfumes, hair products) I am very fortunate that I have a little gift for finding good deals on things sometimes!

29. My biggest what it is, what if I’d decided to do my undergrad in Halifax at the university of Dalhousie. Id gotten into both their creative writing program and History program.

In the end it was a very good decision not to go, in my second year of uni my mother was diagnosed with both kidney disease and breast cancer, and I had to drop out of the program I chose to go with.

Now I’m back at Uni and I am in a great situation both academically and housing wise, but sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like yknow?

[hyenadon]

im just gonna type this post out bc no one will see it (dante and olivia might) but I just need these thoughts to be expressed. online. into the screaming void of the internet which is of course not a screaming void but whatever whatever

sometimes I feel so like. unbalanced in love. Like. its interesting and also maybe terrible? Its like I get love in giant hits but never consistently. And its all different types of love too and never at the same time, so it never like. it never really feels like i'm FULL on love. Like theres that one piece of writing from a cql fanfic, fuck, wait, let me find it

"Wei Ying has always had a heart that could swallow the universe whole, that would teeter over the precipice dividing love and war and leap blindly. He had resigned himself to the likelihood that no one would ever quite feel for him as he felt for them." I think thats by afterwords by silkwings but im pretty sure they deleted their fic

I just feel greedy for it sometimes, I feel starving for love, I feel like scrabbling at scraps for love. And sometimes (not all the time, sometimes) I feel like "no one would ever feel for [me] as [i] feel for them"

at the same time though i'm NOT scrabbling at scraps of love, i'm NOT.

I'm given love pretty consistently. When olivia and I have our silly little talks about dr who or er or temeraire thats just. well thats just olivia and I. thats the love we have. we talk and I love it and we can talk about the stupidest things but its just. its just a chance to hear each others voice and to say "hey I love you. talk to me about something that matters to you and I will listen."

and the same goes for dante but I feel like I am not sharing an interest with him and i'm seriously considering getting into lego boats or something just so we can share that. not out of guilt or anything like obligation. i just love talking to dante. I love sharing interests with him. I love when he talks abt the things he likes. and dante always responds to me with so much empathy and understanding. Whenever I have a bad time dante is like yeah bud I get you. I honestly feel like a tiny bit bad that i'm not into boats bc I can just see how much joy that brings dante and like...I wanna get in on that.

And like. again I am given love. Best example is mumma messaging me recently and just basically saying "oh, yeah, my first book is dedicated to you. You didn't know that? of course it was."

but in a way, way nicer phrasing, and in little shared pieces of jargon just between us. I cried on the train home yesterday.

I'm so rich in love from these people.

and sometimes my coworker lena, who cracks my back and hums "damn that sucks" when I complain about my rotten family. Shes brilliant she really gives as much as she can to love me its just.

But who else do I have? yknow? I know there are orher people who love me but who do I TRUST to love me? Who can I even LET love me? Certainly not my biofam. They don't even know me. It's never enough it will never be enough.

As much as my Mumma will love every poem and every story ive ever written, and how she will shower me with praise, and be proud of me just for getting out of bed and staying alive, I want Sheila Monahan to apologize, fuck, I want her to BEG for my forgiveness for how she treated me.

just like in general:

(apologize for hitting me. Apologize for smacking a vaccuum cord around my knees when I was like. 10, idk. apologize for constantly calling me a bitch or a cunt when I was in high school. I deserve so, SO many apologies from her. apologize for the time you saw me do poetry in front of 4k people and asked "when can i leave?")

AND HEY, SHEILA, APOLOGIZE FOR HITTING AND CALLING ME A MEAN BITCH ON MY FIRST SLEIGH BELLS CONCERT. I've never been to a bells concert since them and my only memory of them is tainted by you calling me a cunt. Sheila. you suck.

but the apology I want the most is just. Sorry I never listened to your writing. I just want my biomom to tell me my writing is lovely. Bc its the thing im good at, i'm ALWAYS good at writing. And when I did yearbook she never even read it.

At least my dad read it. I still don't trust that man, I think he's a coward for allowing my mother to be terrible to me, but he read my words, and liked them.

yearbook was beautiful. yearbook was a work of art I will never replicate.

And the people that matter love it. Olivia and dante have seen it and read it and love it.

My biological father actually loves it very much. He says it's rockstar material. He was gonna show it to his coworkers.

But Sheila didnt even read it. She didnt even read the parts where i tried to commit suicie multiple times. bc if she did she might have cornered me.

But god. I just think.

what a horrible family I have that my father will allow my mother to ignore my attempts.

What awful people.

what deeply awful humans.

[fairytaehl]

ah we're getting into a lot here so im gonna start doing what ure doing LOL

This to me, is way more serious than Liu Fuyi being oblivious that the princess has a crush on him.

imo, to put it simply, i think its related to her knowing how the ending of the book goes. at that point, yao is devastated and cant trust anyone, which stems from all the lies and deceit and fuyi and his ~love calamity~. but, just to correct, she doesnt accuse him of stealing the map in that scene, she asks if he ever loved her.

maybe miaomiao thinks that if she changes the love calamity issue, it will create a different outcome, since thats what yao was most upset about there. we arent given a lot about everything in catching demons, so thats just my educated guess.

And, I think the drama is maybe trying to also do this, but its not distinct enough because after ep 13, we're not remind of the original Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi.

Hope my rambling makes some sort of sense. My messy thoughts make it sound more complicated than it is. Easy to understand when reading the novel.

yeah, exactly. it wouldve been nice if we got a little more of that. because we do see how miaomiao becomes part of the story rather than someone just playing with dolls, so i think we lose out a bit, but the effect is still present. miaomiao describes yao in such a good light, and sees fuyi as a himbo, basically, but as we get scenes of them, i think we see that fuyi is much more than that, especially in regards to keeping ziqis secret when he finds out. and yao, i think she basically lives up to her saintly description, but we also see shes very childish when it comes to love and rather harsh towards ziqi, to the point where i think the viewer truly would believe that she wouldnt accept him for his demon form even after all theyve been through with cuicui and fuyis belief that demons can become good.

LOL same here. my rambling is crazy to the point where i dont even know what message i wanted to get across.

Lol. Amazing they didn't break out of character.

i know right?! i love those behind the scenes people, they make the magic.

I thought I was the only one. The travel montage is pretty (everything about the show is pretty), but I want more substance!

SAAAME. ive nothing thought up yet but i want to write some stories for that time.

Whereas the drama is about these stunningly picturesque scenes, grand gestures, amazing chemistry between Esther and Ding Yuxi that can't be captured in words. Its incremental progress vs leaps. I like both types of developments, but it would have been nice if we could have both in the drama version.

yeah, i think if anything, that totally was the oneeeeee thing im missing. im not Upset because i do believe ziqis character is 100% a "fell first and fell harder" type, so it wouldnt take much for him to fall in love, but it doesnt mean i didnt want to see him being like "shes different than i thought." though the way the story flows, thats kinda the only way for it to go, yknow? she sees his demon form and accepts him, and thats all it takes for him to start falling, disregarding his previous grievances with her basically. there was nothing for them to "work through" in this sense here.

Ep 7 and 8 uses a lot of dialogue and scenes from the novel that show why they needed a friendship period even though they find each other attractive, and she shows that she's not scared of him.

yes and no. they definitely shouldve had one, but how things flow in the drama (i didnt read the novel so feel free to educate me!), between all that happens in ep 7 and ep 8, it almost felt like there was no time for that to happen. if anything, maybe instead of his percent going up from being jealous of seeing her with fuyi, they couldve done something there, but the version of ziqi theyre trying to portray is one who is already beginning to like her romantically, skipping over the friendship part and just wanting to Be Together. like a desperate lovesick puppy.

He takes off his robe, so she can treat his chest wounds. No romance or tension there. Just her being sad for him when she sees his old scars.

oh dont worry i understood it wasnt romantic, but the tension wouldve been imposed on by me, the reader, LOL. ooh la la, if i may.

I think this is Miaomiao's misunderstanding though. When it comes to physical stuff, he doesn't want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable or scared. If Miaomiao was shyer, they probably never get past chaste kissing, lol.

LOL for real. its very sweet how gentle he is, and how her touches mean something to him because shes not rough like he is when he grabs someone, shes just a physically affectionate person.

She insists that next time will be the charm. They're meant to be.

oh ive been there. i just had to cut off communication atp.

I wonder if this is the same reason the drama removes her friendship with Liu Fuyi.

i dont think i realized this until you mentioned it! thinking back, she really doesnt have friendship moments with fuyi. its just her driving the plot in a different direction. dang! thats sad!

Comments to lgief rewatch ep. 4

@fairytaehl

I wrote my comments as a post so I can format it for easier readability, and the reblog was locked for your post.

"which is nuts because why the fuck are you a demon catcher? "

He's a demon hunter because this is what Mu Yao wants. The drama hand-waves away the hardship and pain that comes with being a demon hunter.

In the novel, its clear that he doesn't want Mu Yao to be in a profession where she gets hurt and might die, but this is what she wants to do, so he can only support her despite the physical cost. He is often badly injured and comes close to dying in order to save strangers because he doesn't want to disappoint Mu Yao. It's Miaomiao that says while she finds it admirable that Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi are altruistic saviors, it's fine that he doesn't want to sacrifice himself to save strangers. He's not wrong for feeling that way. That she also feels this way.

"i know hes in the wrong. i know it was his fault and he had bad intentions, and his words in response to her were also not very kind. but… placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he cant deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "if you think it was me, then it was me." it was basically you, and it makes me frustrated to see him so upset over his own doing. i feel bad but i dont. hes trying so hard not to cry, but goddammit, you had this coming you bastard."

I love how you phrase it! I thought their conversation was so, so good. That Mu Yao is being too harsh, but Mu Sheng did do something wrong, and they both know it. Their complicated, messy relationship is so interesting, and I wish we saw more of it.

"crushing the flower in front of her and smirking as he does so… sir. please have mercy. a silent "this is what i do to fresh, pretty flowers" a.k.a. Her."

"crossing your arms across your chest is a physical tell for defensiveness and closing off yourself to the conversation~"

Your observation skills are so good! You catch so many little details. I love all the body gestures and movements that Esther and Ding Yuxi do in the drama. I wonder how much was improvised vs part of the script.

"i wont lie, this whole bit about how she knows about the ledger and letting it slide confused me"

Agree, and I thought it was weird he doesn't ask her why she wants to burn the Mu's ancestral map. 

In the novel, it's because she read the original work and she has nightmares about it after she transmigrates (I don't think this is shown in the drama), so she knows what he's going to do. BUT, she doesn't directly confront him about it. Unlike in the drama, she's very cautious and tries her best to not reveal any information that Lin Yu wouldn't know in front of Mu Sheng.

"ok, i need to ask, anyone understand these heart lake things?"

My guess is they're supposed to visually reflect the change in his emotional state. For example, in ep 18's script.

"△ The lotus in Mu Sheng’s heart lake suddenly turned completely black, leaving only half of the petals still red.

Demonized Mu Sheng: (Chaotic electronic music) I want... to kill him."

"the one where she throws him off entirely by acting all obsessed had him pause as to why she was going to such lengths to lie, and what her goal was. yes, he wanted to get her out because he doesnt like her at all, but that was so nefarious-seeming that he just… walked away. also, it was weird."

On one hand, I thought that scene was hilarious. Its my favorite scene in the drama, and I'm entertained enough to not think too deeply about it. This scene doesn't exist in the novel, but there are ones where he reacts similar-ish if you want an explanation.

In the novel, she constantly seeks him out to increase his favorability % and shows concern and for one reason or another will end up hugging him, and this leads to him letting her off each time. It's easy to see that he's touch-starved and longs for affection. Once he likes her even just as a friend, he can easily be bribed to look the other way with hugs or agree to her requests.

On the other hand, I think it would make way more sense if the drama followed the novel's scene order and had them playing 5-in-a-row games all night early on, and we heard his thoughts so the audience knows why this marks a shift in how he views Miaomiao.

How this is the first time he's learning something that's not for Mu Yao's interests, how he's been pretending to be bad at Go (and his skills as a demon hunter) to get Mu Yao's attention, etc. Its easy to see that he and Mu Yao haven't outgrown their relationship dynamic from their childhood, which was fine then, but has become an unhealthy codependency as adults.

If that happened before Miaomiao's fake confession scene, his response to it would feel less weird.

---

Some random thoughts after reading your post. We eventually find out that Mu Sheng has always known that the Resentful Woman is hiding inside Mu Yao, so what was his long-term plan? Instead of letting her know so they can work together to get rid of the Resentful Woman, he's deciding that he knows what's best for her. And, this isn't a problem that can go away if he hides it. The Resentful Woman will only grow stronger and be harder to defeat. So frustrating.

This is like Guo Xiu unilaterally making the decision to tamper with the villagers' memories. He's playing god, and there's no consequences to him other than his guilt. The script's narrative pushes the idea that this is for their own good and he makes up it up to them with his building talisman, but all he's really done is rob them of seven years. It's extra bad because the median lifespan for people in ancient times is low.

These villagers can't emotionally move on. In practical matters, this is an ancient world, and it would be harder for women if their husbands die and they don't remarry. The author set the novel to take place in a fantasy version of the Tang Dynasty, where it was fine for women to remarry. Had Guo Xiu been honest with them or just done nothing so they know people are disappearing, they could have chosen to move away from this dangerous place.

Maybe, some villagers would choose to throw their lives away to look for their loved ones, but that's their choice.

---

Your recap and the timing of your screenshots for their expressions are so good, especially Mu Yao and Mu Sheng's conversations at the beginning of the episode!

[miumura]

MY PENPAL — WAIT WHAT?!

39 - lets date? (written)

WC : 1.3K+ ; NOT PROOFREAD!!

warnings : kissing (more like a peck), sunghoon and yn being lovey dovey 🤷‍♀️

since hari left, you and sunghoon have become closer. you didn’t know why you were so distant from him before—maybe you were just afraid of hari ruining something again. now with her out of the way, everything went back to normal. you guys were still competitive with each other but this time you were “friends”.

i guess you can say you guys are in the “talking stage”. whenever he sees you, he always compliments you and gives you paper hearts with little messages in them.

“me + u = love”

in the heart, there’s picture of two stick figures holding hands

“this could be us”

“you’re the only one i need”

pretty romantic, yet cheesy. but hey, who wouldn’t get so giddy over notes such as this? you’ve collected over 50 of those notes by now. that’s what crushes do to you.

you weren’t gonna lie—you waited for sunghoon to confess. it’s been a while, all these notes weren’t going to be enough. you wanted to be in a relationship despite your ups and downs with him. but you totally understand if he would want to take it slow, after hari entering your lives out of nowhere.

you didn’t mind waiting for him.

as usual, sunghoon meets you in front of your locker. he’s been sticking around with you lately, it makes your other friends scowl at him sometimes.

not to mention, your friends and his friends are pretty much sick of you guys already. it’s like you’re basically doing a couple things but you aren’t even dating yet.

but that didn’t matter. as long as they were supportive, that was more than enough. it just means that they approve so you wouldn’t pay that much mind to their comments.

“morning yn” sunghoons voice made you smile.

“morning hoon”

he watched you put books into your bag. it was kind of heavy—sunghoon noticed it as well.

“i can carry your bag for you” sunghoon reaches out to get your bag. now your stomach flipped upside down. him? willing to carry your bag? just for you? unbelievable.

its all because of these small actions that make you fall for him even more.

“oh um yeah sure go ahead” you awkwardly said. you swore you mentally slapped yourself in the face for being so nervous like that.

“let’s go to class then?”

“alright! but also geez what books are you carrying everyday to make this bag so heavy?”

it was the end of the day—the bell rang. you planned on walking home with sunghoon but unfortunately you had a club meeting today.

you tapped sunghoons shoulder, “i can’t walk with you today. yknow, club meeting. sorry!” you wore an apologetic expression.

he pats your head, “it’s fine no worries. have fun in that club meeting, yeah?”

he waves goodbye to you as he grabs his bag to leave. he seemed like he was in a rush but you let him be.

as you were bored out of your mind during your club meeting, you suddenly remembered about your penpal, sunghoon.

you wondered if he knew. he hasn’t told you anything about his penpal, which was understandable. you thought of ways of possibly trying to tell him. maybe you’ll write him a letter and say you’re his penpal? or you’ll send that love playlist again?

you continued to think until a voice brought you back from your thoughts.

“and that concludes our meeting! you may leave now, have a great day!”

you rushed out to check your mailbox. he still wrote you letters everyday, which makes you kind of blush a bit. a matter fact, you almost blush at everything he does. it’s a problem, you knew that.

as usual, you saw the blue envelope. you smiled to yourself, putting it into your bag. you planned on reading it once you got home. you immediately rushed back to your house.

wasting no time, you quickly got out of your school clothes into your pajamas. you opened the envelope carefully—you didn’t rip the heart sticker.

as you saw the letter, your eyes widened.

“to luvvie. . or should i say yn?

you must be surprised, i know. how did i find out? well, i found out a while ago. i remember seeing you with a blue envelope in your hand while you went to your locker to read it. you had such a huge smile when you read it—it made feel happy too. i think that was the first time i realized i liked you.

i know we both like each other but we are too scared to take the first step. so, i’ve decided to do so! if you still want to take it slow, i understand :)

here are some reasons of why/how i fell for you <3

1. your smile

- whenever you laugh at my silly jokes or anything really, i start getting butterflies. i would do anything to see you smile like that.

2. our arcade “date”

- i remember how i got you so many plushies there. you laughed and smiled so much, i was really proud of myself. i would definitely clear out the whole arcade if it means i get to see that beautiful smile again <3

3. random pics you would send

- you would send me sm pics, whether it be your ootd, where you’re at, or just selfies at a funny angle. those always bring my mood up so continue what you’re doing <3 ps: i save every single selfie you send, i even have an album ^^

4. our bond

- despite us hating each others guts in the past (or did we?), we got along with each other really well. we had the same interests and you were just an easy person to talk to. i just feel very comfortable around you !

i can go on and on but the letter would eventually get too long </3

if you’re reading this, you’ve reached very far! now that you’re here…

lets date?”

lets say, you were shocked. i mean, you were waiting for this for a while yet you still can’t believe it. he knew all along, no wonder why he didn’t bring it up.

you smiled. you automatically went to get some letter paper and wrote something back.

“to: SH..or sunghoon <3

your letter made me smile very much—i think thats a crime! you didn’t even have to include the reasons of why you fell for me—i would have been okay with the “lets date” part only ^^

since you’ve included 4 reasons, i should do the same!

what made me fall for you <3

1. your presence

- theres something about it. its very comforting, you make me feel like im at home. i can’t believe we argued so much last year. but, i guess that rivalry helped us become even more closer!

2. you at our arcade date

- i still have all the plushies you got me from that day. i did get butterflies when you said you would clear the whole claw machines for me. i’ll be looking forward to that day again, yeah?

3. your gifts

- to get me on your “good” side again (ps: i forgave you already), you kept getting me gifts. sometimes they were not much, but i still appreciated them. the paper hearts, i still have them! they are kept in this small box of mines. i hope you don’t stop giving me those <3

4. how caring you are

- you always looked out for me. when i got sick, needed notes, forgot my lunch, etc, you always got my back. i loved that <3

just like you; i can go on and on. but that would make my letter too long, right?

anyways ^^

of course, let’s date :)”

you finished up your letter and this time, you included the playlist you were supposed to give him.

you gave him this letter in person, and let me tell you, he smiled so hard.

he gave you a big hug and even a peck on your forehead. in return, you gave him a peck on his cheek. maybe it was a little too fast—but hey, you guys took too long to get together.

“took us long enough” you giggled at him.

“it took way too long. let’s go on our first date, shall we?”

“i’d love that.”

besides the obstacles that came along both of your ways, he was finally yours, you were finally his.

previous | next | masterlist

A/N : why am i so lonely

ENHA PERM TAGLIST OPENED !

@son4taa @luvhooniez @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @luveuly @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie

PERM TAGLIST . .

@ahnneyong @hanienie

TAGLIST [OPENED]

- ask / dm to be tagged in my penpal — wait what?!

bolded = can’t tag </3

@/son4taa, @lilactangerine , @/hanienie, @/yenqa , @cloudcutter , @4soobinonly , @/luvhooniez, @wonioml , @adajoemaya , @vampsvngie , @wanna-live-yn-life , @sukunasrealgf , @/ilovewonyo, @invusblog , @/ahnneyong, @viagumi , @/dimplewonie , @nobodyshallenter, @luvvtxinityy , @captivq , @jeongintwt , @mutlishipperfangirl , @/shinsou-rii, @sd211 , @ineedaherosavemeenow , @oyihcc, @hell1cy , @iloveoceaneyesss , @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs , @sansluvr , @s0ye0nswife , @jiawji , @xiaoderrrr , @dxlicateee , @zomyy, @drema-little-dreamof-me, @harmxlovee, @jaeh-yun , @luvdokja , @smg-valeria , @chaewon-slays , @yjjungwon , @kyrkitten

[lynreiii]

-Use me to get over him-

High school AU-Mysta Rias x reader-pt2 of 'As you wish'

In which your friendship between you and your classmate gets confusing. With your crush showing mixed signs and your classmate makes his move.

(Please do not take this seriously. This is for fun and fun only. If any streamer comes across this I apologize! Anyways please enjoy!!"

--Recap--

"I see I see, did you get their number?Hehe"

"Shit,I didn't"

"Ah it should be fine, you could always get it tomorrow yknow"

"Yknow what, I actually will"

-The next day-

Munching on your favorite meal for breakfast is the best thing that has happened to you all this week. Other than the news of what your crush had brought upon you, you still couldn't help but still like him. Human emotions were something confusing to everyone, you knew that you would find yourself eventually.

With your headphones on the table and your textbook at the side, you decided to take a small break from reading the book and look on social media. Ignoring the irrelevant people like your annoying cousins you realize that you have like 7 messages from the same person. Your science lab partner, Shu Yamino.

--

Shu.YaMinion69: Mysta has something to ask you later

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert meme*

Shu.YaMinion69:Also I need help with the science homework-

Shu.YaMinion69:BTW C/n texted me to tell you that he will meet you in the 'place where he pulled you last time'

Shu.YaMinion69:I think he is a weirdo but like he could have texted you instead of me

Shu.YaMinion69:You need to tell me about whatever he meant, we have science tomorrow so yes

Shu.YaMinion69:Look at this

Shu.YaMinion69:*insert reel*

--

Reading the texts, you found it also odd that C/n texted Shu instead of you. You follow him on nearly every social platform there is and you guys also did text before because of projects and homework. It was truly weird to you but in reality, this guy was only using you to get closer to R/n. He just didn't want to be in your dm's because he knew that R/n was the jealous type. She would accuse him of cheating even if the texts shared between the two parties were from just two weeks before they started dating. She was that delusional.

Noticing the time, you replied to Shu quickly and shoved your books in your bag. Plugging your headphones in and slid on your shoes. You began your cold morning to school. 'how enjoyable.'

--

The day was going far too normal for your liking well that was until you were pulled into the janitor's closet. 'this is definitely C/n's doings' You thought to yourself but only to be proven wrong when you heard the unique voice of Mysta Rias himself.

"Heyy um Hi Y/n" The grip on your wrist was bearable but still it was tight. You gave him a confused look before opening your mouth.

"Mysta? Why did you pull me in here-hehe I thought that you were c/n"You chuckled to yourself at the thought of your crush but remembered again about what he told you the day before.

"Well, that's kinda the- actually no. I wanted to ask you for your number" His tone set you off, he looked a bit frantic but what he was asking you was something much different. You saw a pen in the pocket of his buttoned shirt so you took it. Next thing Mysta knew, you were scribbling the digits of your number on the back of his hand.

The fox-like boy kept looking at the door but the grip on your wrist had loosened a bit."Why are you so scared?"You questioned Mysta while you finished writing the last three numbers.

"There is something I wanted to ask of you and I did?"He scratched the back of his head with his other hand. Seemingly that he was still nervous around you, you let go of his hand.

"Why so unsure? anyways I want to eat my fo-"

"WAIT! Uh I mean I saw two students making out in the classroom beside and I just don't want you to see that cause they were getting into it. All SLOPPY yeah- and it just was a stomach-churning scene hehe" It was like Mysta was lying between his teeth cause he latched onto your wrist once more.

"We've both seen Shoto and Vox get all sloppy at that one party before, I think I can take thi-" He squeezed your wrist tighter.

"Trust me, it is bad, let's just wait another 5 minutes please.."He was really begging you to not go even though he got your number. Sighing in defeat, you just gave in to him.

"Okay Mysta, you win" you smiled at him and the male student in front of you returned the favor, letting go of you once again.

There were still 15 minutes of lunch left so both you and Mysta decided that the coast was clear now. Mysta even double-checked by looking both left and right as he poked his head out of the janitor's closet.

--

As you parted ways, Mysta whipped out his phone and Dm'ed Shu.

MystariasRias: I found C/n and R/n making out in the spare, empty classroom beside the janitor's closet and Y/n was gonna walk by.

Seen

--

There were many incidents where Mysta had to pull you aside to prevent you from seeing R/n and C/n kissing, hugging, and doing couple things in the open. This was happening for the rest of the week and you questioned it after the second time Mysta did it.

You were going to the canteen/cafeteria but then you were stopped once you saw Mysta across the hall. This just made you turn to face the other side and walk the longer route.

He was speed-walking to you but you honestly didn't want to be pulled aside once more. 'Not this again' You internally groaned to yourself because you knew that you would end up being in a secluded area with Mysta and miss out on half of your lunch again.

"Y/n wait!-" you were tugged into the embrace of the fox-like boy but your eyes met with familiar ones. It was C/n but looking down, you saw R/n holding his hand, fingers interlocked.

"Oh Hi Y/n, uh we have to get going, goodbye" You were devastated, you found your own rival with your crush. Well, now ex-crush. She always takes whoever you liked in the end. 'How tiring' They were heading in the direction you came from, looking at the as they passed by. R/n looked back and waved while smiling at you then she continued to follow C/n.

Pulling into a hug, Mysta stroked your hair while you just stay there in shock. You were still processing what just had happened. Thinking that all those times, Mysta was protecting you from seeing your own crush with your rival. The person who betrayed you.

Once the information processed in, you began to tear up and cry. Your arms tightened around him, pulling you in by the waist as you let all your emotions erupt. It was comforting as it lasted, you wanted to stay in his warm embrace but he pulled you into the classroom where C/n and R/n had come from. It was where your next class was.

"Use me to get over him"

Mysta,who was hugging you. It was all friendly as you let go of all your frustrations. His hands were wrapped around you like he was protective of you. Then and there,you realised that Mysta was the one who like you for you.

In a whispered tone, the fox like male hushed you with his welcoming voice.

"as you wish"

In all honesty, this was really short and not really well made because I have been sick for the past 2 weeks . I hope you guys enjoyed it regardless <3

--Use me to get over him-pt2 done--

taglist: @yukkitosposts , @gh0stwrl , @hisanory2702

[transphilza]

i logged onto hypixel for the first time today :)

i’m more of a singleplayer sort of person, lol. but i knew if i didn’t put something in the book of condolences i’d regret it so i went on and saw the memorial

sharing some images mostly for myself so i can keep them. it was a really cute area they did a lovely job! such a lovely job in fact that i immediately started bawling my eyes out the moment i spawned in and saw it

i wandered around the lobby for awhile trying to think of what to write and when i did i put my technoplush on my lap and cried silently for a solid fifteen minutes, yknow, as you do. i waited for one song to play and then sat and listened to the piggies oink for a little bit and that was all

it doesn’t feel like it’s been a month, feels closer to just a few weeks, maybe. sometimes it feels closer to just a few days, and it’s gotten easier but hasn’t gotten easy, i don’t think grief ever does. i really really hope his family and friends are doing alright — i doubt his family will ever be able to get around to reading the entirety of the massive amount of messages they’ve been left but i hope they can rest easier knowing so many people are carrying on his memory in their hearts. i know it helps me

life is not fair sometimes and i wish of all people it didn’t have to be him who faced that so harshly, but in the short time he had he did so many wonderful things to change the world for the better and i’m grateful. i’m grateful he had the time he had and i’m grateful i was around and in this community to adore some of it while he was still alive

i need to stop typing now because i’m ruining my shirt with tears and he would tease me and everyone else for being so sentimental anyway. i miss you loads pig boy but don’t you worry cause i’m giving you just as much ad revenue since you’ve been gone as i did when you were still around. thank you for everything ❤️

[i-luv-sweets]

|Use Less Gun| yandere Engineer x reader  Part 3

Tia led you through her large house. Well the house belonged to her father but she lived with him on weekdays so it’s her house as well. “Aren’t you excited Y/N? This will be the best birthday party i’ll host!” Tia cheered spinning around and falling on a couch.  Giggling at your friend’s action you helped her stand up. “What are you going to dress as?” You asked her. It was a costume party that Tia wanted. It was her birthday so you didn’t judge. “I’m gonna be Harley quinn, she’s smart like me!” The brown haired girl spoke with a grin. “Not smart enough to leave an abusive man?” You asked with a smirk. Tia gently smacked you shoulder. “Yeah, but that’s besides the point.” She responded making you giggle. Tia looked around the living room for a moment before talking again. “What are you going to be dressed as?” She asked you. Smirking at her question she immediately had a frown. “Y/N, don’t you dare.” You smiled at her and brushed back your hair. “I’ll wear a suit and have a sign that says ‘sorry’ so I can be a-” Tia stopped you with her hand. “No! Don’t finish it.”  “A formal apology.” Tia groaned at the joke while you laughed at her. Tia packed her stuff and you helped her. She was just staying over for the weekends. As you both entered your apartment she put her bags in her room. “Yknow Y/N, I can help you buy a better apartment.” You shrugged in response. “You’re already letting me stay here, i’ll be fine.” Tia nodded in understanding before hearing a noise from your phone. ping! ping!                

Taking a look at your phone you notice the texts were from Dell. ‘I’ll pick you up at 6 if that’s fine with you.’ ‘It should be enough time to drive to the place I wanna take you as well.’  You smiled at his texts reminding yourself of the fun time you had last night. Tis looked over your shoulder and gasped loudly into your ear. “You’re going on a date!” She yelled with a smile. You shook your hands at Tia. “No,no,no, it’s just a friend hang out. He wanted to pay me back for paying for dinner last night.” The female tilted her head at you. “He stayed over yesterday?” You nodded at her and put a hand to her moth to stop her from gasping. “I tried cooking for him but it didn’t do well. So we ordered pizza.” Tia grabbed you and started shaking you.  “He’s trying to take you on a date!” You pushed her off you gently. “No he’s not.” Your friend raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms at you. Leaning against the wall she sighed. “Ok not a date, but if it was what would you do?” The brown haired girl jokingly asked with a smile. You shook your head and smiled back at her before taking your phone out. ‘Yeah i’ll get ready then.’ Sending the text you closed the message app. “I gotta get ready, want me to buy anything on my way out?” You asked Tia. Your friend thought for a moment thinking of anything she needed. “Nope, I think i’m pretty good actually.” She said heading to the couch to watch TV. With her answer out of the way you went to your room to change. Looking into your closet you picked out a few clothes thinking which ones would be best. Shouldn’t be fancy, just casual wear so no dress. You just shrugged at your clothes and put on a long sleeved shirt with a leather jacket and light brown pants. Looked casual enough right? This is what casual people wear right? Will Dell think it’s not messy? “Oh God I do overthink and try to please people too much.” You whispered to yourself.

You walked out into the living room and sat down next to Tia who was watching a K Drama. You never really got the plot of her K Dramas but if she enjoyed it then it should be fairly entertaining. Tia turned to you and grabbed a brush. “At least brush your hair for your non date.” She said turning you around and gently brushing your hair. “Thanks Tia, what would I do without you.” You joked to her. She rolled her eyes at you and started braiding your hair. “Yknow, you look way better if you brushed your hair more often and not lay in bed writing your books.” She said smiling and finishing braiding your hair. You sat up as you heard a knock at the door. Tia nudged your side and wiggled her eyebrows. You groaned gently pushing her face away and heading for the door. “Heya Dell, how are you?” You asked him with a smile to which he mirrored you. “Well ah’ve been pretty good. Work’s been easy on me.” He responded with you closing the door behind you and leaving your apartment. “You look very nice by the way.” He commented with a smile. “You too cowboy.” You joked with him paying attention to his attire. It was a dark red turtleneck and black pants that he wore. “BRING HER BACK BY 8!” You heard a muffled voice yell from the other side of the door. You groaned in annoyance turning red a bit. Dell heard your friend’s voice and laughed. “Alrighty then.” He spoke through the door before leading you out of the building. “Sorry about her, she’s just a jokester.” You said playing with your braided hair. Dell unlocked his car and you entered the passenger seat while he entered the driver’s seat. “She ain’t not that bad, she’s pretty funny.” Engie spoke chuckling a bit in his sentence.  While he drove out on the road you looked around the car a bit. There was still no branding of the type of car it was. “Say Dell, not to be rude but what brand of car is this?” You asked looking at him. He gave a grin while turning on the turn signal. “Ah made this fine piece of work ‘ere. Ain’t she a fine one?” He asked patting the steering wheel. “That’s mighty impressive Dell, I thought it was Toyota or somethin.” You told him with a smile and looking at the leather seats. “Naw, ah made ‘er with scrap metal.” He said stopping at a red light giving him time to look at you with his grin still on his face. “Well aren’t you just a handy guy.” You said tapping your foot trying to think of a conversation to say to him. You didn’t want to make silence between the two of you. You both talked for a good 30 minutes before showing at your destination. “Ah got ta be if ah’m an engineer.” He chuckled turning to a small diner. “Looking at the place, you make me feel guilty that you’re paying.” You said unbuckling your seatbelt. “Well Ah said ah was paying you back. Might as well take ya to a fairly good place.” He spoke exiting his car and locking the door. Entering the small Diner you two sat at a booth and waited for a menu. Dell looked at you more carefully while you settled into the booth. You had slightly dark bags underneath your eyes. Were you staying up to study? “Have you been here before Dell?” the texan man got knocked out of his thoughts and met your eyes. “Yeah, Ah hang here often after a hard day’s work. They good beer here.” He spoke and rested his arms on the table. Soon the waiter came up to the two of you and handed you two your menus. Both of you ordered your food and proceeded to talk more. The small talk was very enjoyable before Dell notice your face drop. “Fuck, shit, why now?” You whispered taking the menu in front of you and hiding your face. Dell turned around and saw a middle aged woman in her 30′s or 40′s. She had short blond hair, heavy makeup, and hoop earrings. “Ya ok Y/N?” Engie asked gently lowering your menu as the waiter returned with two bottles of beer. You smiled at the waiter and thanked them before shrugging at Dell unsure. “Y/N L/N! is that you?” The woman yelled out. You flinched and nodded. “Hello Ms.Can.” You said giving her a shy smile as she walked up to you and Dell. “This must be why you are failing math. Messing around with men? Drinking? Don’t be such a failure to your parents. You said you wanted them proud.” Your teacher boomed her voice at you as you swallowed your spit. Dell never got into anyone’s business but he now understood why you had such a hard time. She really was like you described yesterday. The southern man felt a heat in his chest. It was bubbling up in him and he was going to burst with every word he hear the woman say to you. Clearing his throat the woman payed attention to him. “Ah’m sorry ma’am, but this ‘er is mah tutee. Ah offered to get ta know ‘er better to be friends.” He explained calmly doing his best to not yell. He had to at least reason with her. Maybe she’d back off if she understood the situation. The woman scoffed and rolled her eyes standing straight. “Taking a girl for a drink of alcohol? A tutor spending time with their tutee? How unprofessional. You’re a southerner anyway, I bet you didn’t have a lick of education in that place.” Now that hit Dell straight in the face. The young man who has full 8 PhD’s being called uneducated? “Excuse me ma’am but ah have 8 PhD’s! Way more than you would’ve accomplished!” Both you and your teacher gasped in surprise at what Dell had said. You had never seen him angry before. Then again, you never got to know him until now. “Why you filthy trucker!” A waiter went up to the lady and asked her to leave nicely. “Why don’t ya listen to tha kind worker’s ‘ere Corncakes.” Engie said with a smirk. Ms.Can glared at him and then  you before turning heel to leave. You breathed out a sigh as you watched her leave. Dell looked at you and softened his look. “Are ya ok darlin?” He asked placing his hand on top of yours. You tapped your foot and nodded your head. You looked up at him and gave him a weary smile. “Shouldn’t I ask you that? She insulted you.” You said as Dell chuckled. “Ah’ve dealt with scarier in all honesty. Ah’ll be ok.” He said as you hummed and returned your hand to your side. Some part of Dell didn’t want you to move your hand.

Taking your bottle of beer in your hand you took a sip of it. "You want to drink more after dinner?" You asked to make the tension go away a bit. Engie caught on to what you were trying to do and nodded with a grin. You were so nice, always trying to make things happier. Your food came not too long after and you both started eating. "Wow, that's a good burger." You said taking another bite. Dell hummed and took a sip of his beer. "They have such good things to eat. Ah lahike their milkshakes in mah opinion." He said after you took another bite. Swallowing your food you tilted your head to him. "There's milkshakes? I didn't see that on the menu." You spoke confused. He nodded and rested his arms on the table and scooting a bit closer. "Mhm, they don't use those powders that others use. They use real ice cream." He said with a smile. Finishing your burger you wiped your hands on a small tissue. "I should come visit here more often then." You said finishing up. Dell chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Yea, tha food isn't poisoned as well." He jested reminding you about your cooking last night. You turned bright red at the memory and covered your face with both hands. "I tried ok?" You said lowering your hands and showing your smiling pink face. The texan laughed at your expression. "No worries Dell's 'ere ta teach ya how ta cook edible food." He said making you laugh again. "Just pay so we can make fun of each other in the car." You said lowering your laughter to small giggles.

Engineer chuckled and started standing up. "Ok, ok, ah'm going." He said walking to the cashire with you following after him. As he paid the bill he had a mischievous look and leaned into the counter towards the cashire. "Ey, you know this girl 'ere can't-" You smacked his shoulder stopping him mid sentence. "Dell no please!" You whined making him have another laughing fit. He got his change and the two of you turned around. "What? Ah was just bout ta say tha truth." He teased leaning down to you as you walked out. You both got in the car and buckled up ready to drive back. "Back to what ya said 'bout drinking. Mind drinkin at mah place? Ah got too much beer thanks to an accidental ad." he asked driving out of the parking lot. You weren't one for going to another person's house until you knew them better but you trusted Dell. For some reason he didn't make you feel threatened. "Sure thing, but an accidental ad?" You asked him with a confused look. "Ah clicked an ad to try and order beer online. But Ah thought tha pay didn't go through so I clicked multiple times." Once he explained you started giggling. "Don't laugh, mah wallet's cryin now." He joked with a smile and gently nudging your side. "You're making it cry more by inviting me to dinner." You said the two of you sharing laughter. "Ok fair enough." He said pulling up into a normal sized house. You unbuckled your seatbelts and stepped outside. "You have a nice place." You said following him up to the front door. "Thank ya darlin." He said getting his keys out and unlocking the door. Upon entering the house you noticed the very cozy look it had. Once you entered the house you saw stairs leading up to the second floor. But entering the living room straight ahead there was a fluffy mat on the floor with a couch and TV. "You make yerself comfortable, ah'll get the beer." Dell said disappearing into the kitchen as you sat down on the couch.

You looked around and noticed some photos hanging on the walls. They were pictures of a younger Dell with, his mom, and dad, supposedly. Dell was holding a PhD in his hands.  “Dear lord he wasn’t joking.” You muttered now looking at the photo more. “Ah told you, ya didn’t believe me.” He chuckled handing you a beer and holding a box of alcohol. “I did sort of believe you when you yelled at my teacher.” You said taking a swing of the cold beverage.

Dell hummed and sat next to you turning on the TV to pick a random movie. After picking the movie he sighed. “Ah’m sorry for yellin at yer teacher. But they just didn’t seem raight.” He said leaning into the couch. You shrugged watching Dell chug his drink. “It’s fine, I don’t have the guts to speak back anyways.” You sighed staring at the screen. Engie finished his drink and opened another looking at you. “Ah noticed a bit. why don’t ya speak back?” He asked anticipating an answer. He really did expect you to defend yourself back there. But all you did was try to reason. “I tend to be a people pleaser. Been trying to shake it off though.” You spoke finishing your beer and reaching for another. Dell opened another bottle for you and handed it with a soft smile. “Ah’m sure you’ll shake it off after awhile.” He said giving you a comforting look. You smiled back at him and leaned back into the couch more relaxed. The two of you drank while watching TV and soon checking the clock it was around 9 already.  “Damn it got late pretty quick.” You said disappointed that the night had to end once again. Dell hummed equally disappointed but perked up after a thought. “Well both of us kinda drank too much raight? Do ya maind stayin tha night?” He asked looking at you in hopes. In all honesty you would take any excuse to not go back home right now. You had such a good time with Dell, it would be nice to stay a little bit longer. “I don’t mind. I doubt you can drive after drinking anyways.” You commented making Dell chuckle. “Yeah, well ah’ll get tha guest bedroom ready.” He said leading you upstairs. the upstairs area wasn’t too big. It just held 3 rooms, a guest bedroom, Dell’s bedroom, and what you were assuming was storage. Dell opened the guest bedroom and turned on the lights. He grabbed some blankets and you helped him set the bedroom up. It was the least you could do since he was helping you stay over. Once the bedroom was ready Dell started walking out. “Ah hope ya have a good naight’s sleep sugarcube.” He said with a smile. It wasn’t bad that he called you a new nickname right? Dell always gave his friends nicknames. It was probably the alcohol talking. Dell thought in his mind as he saw you smile back. “You too Dell. Goodnight.” You said closing the door to sleep. The texan walked over to his bedroom and sighed. “Night.” he muttered under his breath.

[enderwalking]

TERMINAL ENDERSMILE BRAINROT WOOO \o/ also yeah i totally agree that a reveal at the finale wouldn't make sense w how they work, but i'm torn on whether or not enderboo sees it that way. bc overall, i see the staredown the same as you! "its part of the plan, it'll be fine, no worries, we're still on track" bc seeing your buddy get yeeted twice unarmored is. awful. but enderboo's notes(do not read 2, pg 16-17 on wiki) he seems shocked by dream lying(understandable, dream doesn't often lie) he writes "may have" but we know he Did do the community house, tho we also know his memory is wonky when stressed. regardless he almost sounds like he Expected dream to out him for some reason, and maybe that Was part of the plan in his mind before dream decided to protect him. ranboo/enderboo is known for catastrophizing, dream is known for sudden emotion-driven choices, enderboo could've expected the worse bc of that but was proven wrong the notes were also For ranboo to see, so he could've wrote in a way that kept things basic and confusing, just like the voice(and his book response later on. and all the cryptic messages. enderboo is a cryptid bastard /pos), make ranboo call into question Why dream wouldn't just reveal him, why dream of all people would Lie for Him bc if dream hadn't lied for him, then he'd be in just as much trouble, both of them bad guys worthy of prison(which he agonizes and swears to Hide in his follow up stream). this was the second time someone else took the full blame for something he took part in(first being tommy in exile trial, narrative parallels my beloved), and this time its by the most hated, evil man on the server, which should raise some big questions for him. sadly our boy ranboo is just as much about de'nial river as he is lethe, so he tries to avoid thinking on the signals being thrown at him by his own mind as much as possible, if he ignores hard enough surely it'll go away(it didn't go away, it got so much worse bc he's stubborn through and through, mind/voice and enderboo included, both taunting him over his attempts to avoid the truth ala Why Are You Running? lmao)

i get you i GET YOU i think my main point of contention overall is obvs we know "enderboo" is just ranboo with all his memories etc, but even with that caveat that they are ultimately the same person, i think it's also important to realize that it's not just a binary switch, yknow? it's not like there are just two states that flip between each other, it's not quite as easy as being like, oh ranboo forgot about this event which means that he was enderwalking during it. there's some kind of spectrum between the states, there are times he's more aware than others but also still not Fully aware, and all in all it's just very difficult to distinguish i think? so i can't say with confidence that ranboo writing things during events he forgot about is always actually the enderwalk trying to leave messages for his less-aware self, though obviously we know he does do that sometimes? idk idk. it is a VERY cool read though and is not one i had considered in the past!

i do think that something notable in all this is that ranboo--all parts of ranboo--do not want to fear/dislike the other parts, like. it is about the need to reconcile all these different parts that seem incompatible but actually are all necessary to form a cohesive whole! while ranboo has been terrified of the enderwalk at times, and while the enderwalk has seemed to mock him at points, the one most direct instance of communication between the two states is written with such care, and in a way where ranboo seems notably reassured! and it's shown again in the way ghostboo initially derides his living self, but then realizes better, and ultimately is doing all he can to protect his soul! all parts of ranboo are better off when they come together and love the other parts RANBOO IS ABOUT SELF-CARE AND I LOVE HIM

also MY GOD, DREAM'S LIL QUIRKS W INFO REGARDING RANBOO. this man is a disaster of slip ups w that to the point its a miracle he hasn't been called out on it, from him choosing to send the message to ranboo to his and techno's stand-off of "i refuse to reveal i care for/know ranboo, but what about You???" in the cell where dream had to backtrack and lie so hard. like "yeah he visited the most. no i don't know him that well tho nope" ??? gg king, ur lucky it was techno he's very good at keeping the secret despite those slip ups, and his talk w sam..... ohhhh that's a mental landmine for me /pos. bc when making sam go through the list of things people hate him for, when he talks about ranboo dream's tone changes to a bit more aggressive, his words more biting, and when it becomes clear sam only killed ranboo for Ego(imo, based off his words) dream pulls out his axe subtly after only holding steak(WHEN I TELL U I LOST MY MIND...) and then dream doubles down on poking to see if sam Knows about them, and when he realizes sam has no clue he then Taunts him over it by revealing the tnt thing but refusing to put 2+2 together for him, bc honestly out of ANYONE on the server, sam should be the one who'd make that connection the easiest And Yet He Doesn't and its hilarious. all the visits and altered waivers and ranboo's panic, and yet sam Does Not See It lmaooo its a taunting reveal, w two layers, 1 is "ur a dumbass for not realizing w/o me basically spelling it out" and 2 is "ur a dumbass for falling for it this whole time + btw ranboo's life is worthy of more than ur stupid ego + there was totally actual reason to arrest him ur just stupid + cringe fail warden + L + ratio". its just enough info to fuck w sam's head, which is exactly what dream wants

YES EXACTLY oh my god i didn't notice the thing about him pulling out his axe JESUSSSSS OK OK OK COOL!!! but YEAH this this exactly all this

ALSO i'm under the belief/hc that dream has No Clue that ranboo is actually like. Dead dead. bc w the ho16 death, ranboo was down one more life than dream is aware of, so it'd make sense if dream assumed ranboo was still alive somewhere and just hasn't contacted him(he still wasn't told Why the visits stopped after all, and a lot happened so he could be assuming enderboo is hiding or avoiding) which is why boo has been left waiting for a "He" to revive him as he fades more and more (wondering if He is even trying), chased by sam, unable to be in contact w many people or else it gets worse as he'll feel more. bc i doubt that dream would just leave his ally for dead when he has the full power to Fix It, especially considering how he reacted to sam about the murder. boo is trusting dream to revive him, but much like w how he feels about the rest of the server, he's likely starting to fear he's been abandoned by him too -Soul

this definitely makes a lot of sense! i think a factor that i've personally put a lot of weight into is, again, the fact that dream Will Not publicly reveal his alliance with ranboo, and so if he just revives the guy out of nowhere then that would automatically send out red flags to literally everyone who is even a little bit aware of anything. so i think he fully intends to revive ranboo and has intended to do so for a while, but he can't do it unprompted, yknow? otherwise it would be extremely sus to say the least lol. so basically he's just gotta play a waiting game to see if anyone approaches him first to give him a justification, yknow?

[thatsmistertoyou]

yknow I was thinking about it just a few weeks ago and I thought hey maybe Dan has moved on from being Online™️, at least for the foreseeable future. I thought well, I hope he’s good and satisfied with that and knows that there’s still an audience that respects and supports him if and when he chooses to come back, even if we’re all old af now. I really wouldn’t have ever guessed at the Big Reason lmao the AUDACITY of yt!!

(I’m kinda curious to see if yt responds to this in some way. Probably not but watching them get dragged to filth WAS fun ngl)

Anyway. More personal rambles under the cut

I really appreciated his comments about parasocial relationships. We really can’t help it in this day and age - public figures affect us, even if they are ‘public’ in the broadest sense of the word. It is not lost on me that most if not all of you that are still here are reading this bc you read my fic about this real closeted man and his secret lover lmao. If I never had to see any more commentary on rpf it’d be too damn soon. It’s all been said I think we’ve had enough. You’re not going to virtue signal people out of it my guys this is the internet I really don’t know what to tell you

But anyway. I tried to be as respectful as possible about it. I never claimed it was speculative. After a while I stopped doing that on here altogether. They just genuinely inspired me. What can I say. I found their dynamic and story compelling. What if I told it in my own way, what if I put this spin on it, what if I could make something fun and sweet that other people would enjoy, what if I made something dramatic and heartbreaking. They helped me discover something I had only dabbled in, an intense passion for the craft of writing that I have only recently picked back up bc I found new muses. (If you like Breath of the Wild, hmu lol)

This community was my lifeline in a very hard time in my life. It helped me make a lot of the friends I have today, some of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It demonstrably changed my life. I didn’t ask for it, but I needed it.

And so I really related to what Dan said about yt. The conflict of wondering if it is a net good when it put people in uncomfortable positions sometimes. Obviously it’s not a direct parallel, I’m not comparing like, petty fandom drama to the trauma of people analyzing your every move while you’re closeted and afraid. I’m glad Dan has been able to come to terms with it, at least a little lol. I think we’d all like to think we had no part in it - I never sent Dan an ask on his margarita blog asking if he was gay or dm’ed him my fic on twitter or submitted drawings of him and his bff fucking when he asked for art. But where’s the line? When does it stop being fun and harmless?

I appreciated his comments about that as well. I myself have loved to cite the fact that Dan really did say ‘knock yourselves out’ when it comes to fan works, asked for submissions of them at several points, and straight up wrote his own and put it in a nyt bestselling book that would forever immortalize him. And also performed it on stage, if in a cheeky and self-aware way. (Yes Phil did most of these things too, but we’re talking about the other one rn. And tbh, Dan always seemed like the one to seek permission from, right? Idk how to explain it but I feel like y’all know what I mean when I say that.)

I recently had my first ever impulse to get rid of my fics - not delete them, but maybe orphan them on ao3 so they wouldn’t be 100% tied to me. Or maybe take them down but keep an archive of pdfs linked here or something - something that would at least partially distance me from The Evils Of RPF. Lbr, I worked too damn hard to destroy my legacy completely. I’ve gotten so many wonderful messages over the years saying that my stories have had real impacts on real people. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen.

But Dan and Phil are real people too! Dan has talked about how traumatizing it was to have people clock him as gay before he was ready! It’s invasive! It’s weird! It ruined one direction! You should be ashamed of yourselves! Can y’all tell the posts I’m talking about. Have you seen them too.

The one really caught my attention - something like ‘amazing how all those 13 year olds knew Dan and Phil were gay like immediately, they tried to deny it and it didn’t work’. Shit like that puts me on the defensive like immediately, but, admittedly, it was funny. I was like. First of all I was 18 the first time I even saw one of their videos, get your facts straight, not all of us were that young. And second, I was immediately like Self Recognition Through The Other.

Yes it was also maybe invasive curiosity and speculation, maybe attraction to them, maybe genuine enjoyment of their content, maybe the digital landscape at the time in which watching real people do real shit was novel and no one knew the implications until it all started to blow up, etc etc. but like. I didn’t know I was queer at ALL at the time. And a few years in the community later I had more friends than I’d ever had, thriving hobbies, and am now openly bisexual. I can’t say any of that would have happened without this super weird and scary thing.

So, all of that to say, I understand at least some of what Dan was talking about.

Also I’m not deleting my fics, dw. If my boss finds them that’s her fault.

(Not saying I would have absolutely shit myself if Dan had, in fact, launched a project about an alternate unhappy version of his life on his 30th birthday, but it’s a strong possibility.)

[krabmeat]

heyyyy, just wanteddd too seee ifff youu cooulddd writteee sommmeee karlll x time!travel readerrrrr, itt coouuullddd beee flufff orr anggssttt. whateeeveerrr youuu wantttt :] (morreeeee iiinnnffooo: reeaddderrr allsooo hasss the abillitttyyy to time travelll and karlll and themmm manageeedd tooo bump intoo each otherrr innn the innbetweeeennnn. bothhh offff themm telll storries aboutttt theiir adventuresss tooo one anotherrr and arreee having a gennuinely goooddd timme! tttheeeyyyy meeet agggainn in theeee lllooosssttt cittttyyyy offff mizzzuuuuu annnnddd youuu caannn dooo whatteeeveerrrr affftteerrr thhhatttt)

sorrryyy fooor myyyy tyyyypingggg ssstyyyleeeee (cccaaaannnn i beeeeeee "beeeee annnooonnnnn" bbbutttt wiithouttt theeee draggged outtt letttterrrssss? I ussseeeeeee beeeee/aviannnn/hiveeeee/boottttleeeesssss prrroooonnnnnouuunnsssss)

𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚎𝚜

𝙺𝚊𝚛𝚕 𝚡 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚛!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 (𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚒𝚌)

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜: Karl(Isaac), Ranboo(Charles), Dream(Ranbob), BadBoyHalo(Benjamin), Quackity(Cletus)

𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚜: they/them

𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: brief mention of suggestive content, death, murder, explosions, glass breaking, cursing, weapons, water

𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚎:

I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS HOLY CRAP!!! firstly, welcome "bee anon" (bee/avian/hive/bottles) to my account! its lovely to have you here and thank you so much for the request! i hope this adds up to what you imagined and i hope you stick around! :]]

--------------------------

The In-Between. Any entity that normally roamed around there knew the place well. If you visited there, you visited often. Karl regularly roamed around the in between. The only face he saw there was his. Karl’s from different timelines traveled to the In-Between as well, but ever since he had found those ominous books that told him to steer clear of the “alternate Karl’s”, that’s exactly what he did. So seeing a new face there while roaming the brick-white palace startled him.

The stranger didn’t even get the chance to introduce themselves when Karl briskly grabs them by the arm and starts running to the room under the tree. 

“Woah-! Wait are you-“

But before the mystery person can finish their sentence, Karl cuts them off as quickly as possible.

“SSHHHH! Please hold on a second, I’ll let you know when you can talk.”

The mystery person nods and stays silent as they make their way under the big tree.

Once they arrive, Karl flops to the ground exhausted from the running.

“It’s the safest down here, no one can see what we’re doing. But that’s besides the point! Who the heck are you and how did you get here?!”

The mystery person slides down against the wall and onto the floor besides him. They think for a second, trying to recall how they had arrived. 

“I’m Y/n, I’m a time traveler and somehow I got HERE instead of the place I was planning on going to. I was walking around and I saw a bunch of the alternate versions of you around the place but I figured that if one of them were to- yknow, drag me away and under the tree, that’d be the one I’d need to talk to that isn’t a fake.” 

Karl nods in understanding before he realizes. 

“Wait- how did you know about the safety room being under the tree? Or the ‘alternate’ me’s not actually being from other realities?”

Y/n looks at Karl with a deadpan expression and leans back into the wall. They swing their arms out in front of them for dramatic effect.

“Well duh, I have an in between! You aren’t the only one, yknow. Did you get a bunch of those creepy, contradicting books from all around the place? The one that told me the useful information was in all caps, and the other one was talking about how great the place is and constantly used smiles. Not the traditional one though, like, it used the brackets instead of the parenthesis.”

Karl shoots up in surprise, they had gotten those too?! He was never aware that there were other time travelers that existed, let alone were able to get into other peoples in between! He nods, eager to ask them questions.

“So, where were you planning on going? You said you didn’t mean to come here, right?”

Y/n nods, remembering where they were trying to go previously.

“Yeah! I forgot the name, but I know that it’s some place underwater. An abandoned city or something. Enough about me though, one of the main reasons we both time travel is to tell stories, right? So tell me about the places you’ve been! Also, what’s your name? You got mine but I never got yours.”

“Ah, right- I’m Karl-!”

Karl turned around and flipped up his hoodie to show his light gray initials embedded onto the white hoodie. Y/n had a long, white robe with vine-like accents on the hems. The ends of the sleeves had Y/n’s initials on them as well.

“Well… the first place I’ve ever visited was this place I like to call….’The Town That Went Mad’! Ever play the video game ‘Town Of Salem’? It was basically that and I was like the host of it, sorta.”

Karl proceeded to explain the different personas and people to Y/n, there were people like Cornelius the Wise, Helga, Miles Memeington, Mayor Jimmy- Helgas husband, Robin the Orphan, Bob (he’s a builder, yknow), Catboy (very deep voice, no one knows why but it’s a strange contrast to the ears and tail. Mutant or furry??), and Jack the Farmer. He explained from how the orphan had tricked the entire town that he was a murderer when he was instead the Jester, to explaining what the word “dunderhead” meant in Helgas context after explaining how she ruthlessly and openly got her husband executed and then soon proceeded to sleep with Bob. 

Both of them were crying tears of laughter, listening and recalling their own stories. By the time Karl had finished telling his story, Y/n was on the ground wheezing from how funny they thought the story was.

“And your telling me they all just, DIED?! That’s so anticlimactic, I love it!”

It’s been maybe 3 hours or so of them discussing stories and laughing. As much as these two travel across the fabrics of the universe, they would have never imagined being able to finally tell someone about their travels and experiences! 

Y/n then started talking about a Sky Dynasty that lived up in the clouds in a kingdom called The Kingdom Of Synnefa. When they had dropped in, they would have fallen straight through the clouds if a kind man by the name of Galen hadn’t found them hanging off a building ledge for their dear life! Galen let Y/n drop into his wagon and he took them to get Skywalkers, shoes specifically make for walking on clouds. 

Y/n had then explained how a very old looking man who looked to be a pig hybrid approached them, asking them if they were new. Apparently the old pig man was the guardian of the Grand Library, saying how he adored the Kingdoms Greek history and fables. The funny part is that his name is Icarus, a very unfortunate demise that Icarus had in the past but apparently that was a sensitive subject for Icarus and he would get very upset if anyone brought it up.

Another 3 hours went by of this time Y/n telling their stories of their travels to The Kingdom Of Synnefa! Both Karl and Y/n were having a wonderful time chatting with one another about both the confusing rivalries between the carnivores and herbivores of the kingdom, as well as how the kingdom was slowly dying due to the mass amounts of pollution damage the “ground dwellers” have been inflicting on The Kingdom Of Synnefa.

Soon though, Y/n had to jump into their next travels- as well as Karl. They said their goodbyes to each other, both obviously upset about having to stop the fun and interesting chat. 

“Look, when I leave I’ll figure out how I got in, okay? If I don’t figure it out, it’s been a real pleasure Karl Jacobs. Anyways, off to the abandoned water city I go!” 

Karl nods and waves his hands frantically at them, eager and hopeful for Y/n to visit him again. 

“See ya around Y/n!”

Y/n then proceeds to take out a small book and pen from inside their robe. They open it and quickly scribble something down before closing it and putting away. Y/n gives Karl a last friendly smile before disappearing in a snap. Before that, they manage to give him one last message.

“Hopefully!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Isaac wakes up in his bed by the sea docks. Meeting what seems to be his friends and roommates, Benjamin, Cletus, Charles and Monroe. Distant arguing can be heard from the docks. One of the voices sound oddly more familiar than the others to Isaac. Isaac walks over to the dock and finds two people arguing. 

“What’s going on here? Why are you guys arguing so early in the morning!”

The two people stand up and point at each other.

“MONROE DOESNT GIVE ME BACK THE F*CKING FISHING ROD!”

“BECAUSE THE LAST TIME YOU CAUGHT A FISH YOU KILLED IT, CLETUS!”

Monroe? Their voice sounds oddly similar to someone else’s, but Isaac can’t quite put his finger on it. He looks down ignoring the minor situation, when he sees a small leather book- then it clicks. Monroe is Y/n! But before Isaac confronts Monroe (Y/n), he picks up the small leather book. It isn’t the one that Y/n had when they left Karl’s In-Between, but it instead had what looked like the directions and coordinates for The Lost City Of Mizu!

“CHARLES! GET THE F*CK OVER HERE SO YOU CAN GUIDE US TO THESE COORDS!!”

Charles walks out of the shared dockside house alongside Benjamin, I hand him the book and start heading for the boats when Monroe stops me. They whisper loud enough so that I can only hear.

“Karl? Is that you?”

“Y/n?! You recognize me!”

We get on the same boat while the others get on theirs as well, and set off following Charles to The Lost City Of Mizu.

“Okay first, we call each other Isaac and Monroe, okay? Don’t break character.”

“I don’t even know HOW I remember! Usually I don’t until I leave!”

“Well that doesn’t matter right now, just try to act like Isaac and not Karl.”

And that’s what they did. Karl was Isaac and Y/n was Monroe. 

Once they found The Lost City Of Mizu, they met a man named Ranbob. Ranbob was the last resident of the city, and offered to show the group around. Rooms and rooms of full on history! It was like a huge museum filled with information of a place Ranbob called The Dream SMP, and Karl and Y/n were eating it up. Ranbob had suddenly disappeared, but the group didn’t pay much mind of it as they were trying to get into the Tree Dome. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Tree Dome room was as marvelous as it was big. The tree was absolutely beautiful, and was also the supply of oxygen for the now abandoned city- though the tree still looks to be thriving tremendously. The group spots a chest on the tree and nominates Cletus to go and retrieve it. Branch after branch and he’s finally up there! But soon after fallen and blown into oblivion because in suddenly appears Ranbob with loads and loads on TNT. Placing it all around the tree and the room, all he says is

“No one survives when they come here.”

And 

BOOM!

He sets off the TNT in the tree, Cletus. Before he died, Cletus luckily tossed the group the book he essentially died for so before reading it, the group ran out of the room and shut the iron doors.

The rest of the group had also found a book that had a key to a “Secret Room”, and very soon after they were making they’re way down a certain “Secret Room” only to be met with another book and a room to the side full of lava parkour. Apparently the last person to try and make it past the lava parkour failed, but they know the key or next clue HAS to be there, so Benjamin is nominated to do the lava parkour, failing and falling into the lava on the final step. Bravely after watching his friend die, Isaac (Karl) decides he’s gonna take a go at the parkour, and succeeds! He gets the key and directions to the final room before they can escape and heads to the final room with Monroe and Charles.

The final room is...strange, to say the least. Black brick walls and flooring, the walls lined with diamond armour and weapons. At the end of the small hallway rested what looked like a terrarium. One of the walls were made of glass so they could look in, and what they saw wasn’t what they were expecting. A normal flat biome with grass blocks, a mini cave in the corner that had a few gold ores in it if you looked hard enough, and the strangest of all was the statue of a looming, smiling, green figure in the very center. 

“Everyone had a person they idolized.”

Ranbob suddenly appears, interrupting the 3 taking in the room.

“Ranbob? Dude what the f*ck?!”

Y/n reaches for one of the diamond axes lining the wall, when suddenly Ranbob unsheathes a netherite sword. 

“Don’t touch anything.”

That’s enough to get Y/n to back up from both the weapons AND Ranbob. 

“How are you even here? We thought you DIED!”

But Ranbob didn’t seem to be bothered nor wanted to be bothered by such minuscule questions, and instead walked towards the glass of the terrarium. 

“This is my idol. His name is Dream.”

“Was he a good person..?”

Karl questioned hesitantly. He didn’t wanna anger or irritate Ranbob after seeing what he said to Y/n.

“Hmm, yes, he’s a good person. Depending on what you think.”

Karl walks up to the glass and shatters an opening with his elbow. He, Charles and Y/n step into the terrarium, observing the statue and its habitat more closely. But they didn’t get the chance to say much more. Ranbob unsheathes his sword for the last time, trapping everyone inside the terrarium. 

“No one makes it out alive.”

GASP!

“What the- where are we?”

…

“Y/n…? Y/n! Your back!”