#if there's one thing about me it's that i love writing karaoke scenes

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

august 19, 2021 12:15 a.m. star noraebang

song in queue: man & woman - kim bum soo w/ park sun joo ✨

[canibalistic-brownie]

I have to keep reminding myself that none of y'all know me in real life and even if you think what I'm writing is cringe, its not for you, its for me. But h-h-h-h-holy shit is it hard to get out of that mindset of anxiously wondering what other people will think of your writing the entire time.

[callmerainman]

Accidentally In Love | sinner!Adam x fem!sinner!Reader

PART 1 | PART 2

plot. You and Adam became friends with benefits. The lines of your situationship are blurred. Even more so when you and the First Man get closer and closer. What will it take you to understand that you and Adam are falling in love?

word count. 3.8k

tags. enemies to lovers, sinner!Adam, friends with benefits, sexual content, p in v sex, Adam Has a Heart, falling in love, Reader has wings, Reader is Lucifer's Royal Guard.

TW! this chapter contains an explicit sexual scene, MINORS DNI

taglist. @kaces-mind @call-me-nyxx @serendipitous-fernweh @plutodestr0yedme @luvvnightingalee

a/n. here it is, final chapter! Thank you for reading this silly little fic, I'll for sure write more about Adam soon! Hope you enjoyed it <3

"and now I go and spoil it all by saying somethin' stupid like I love you"

—

It’s karaoke night for you and Adam. Yeah, karaoke night. At first it started off as a joke. One time, after an usual afternoon of strenuous intercourse, you and Adam found yourselves singing “Out on the Tiles” by Led Zeppelin. You had decided to put on some music in shuffle to try to muffle up your obscene sounds that both of you understood you couldn’t contain. Next thing you knew you and Adam were performing an improvised gig on the already ruined bed of your room.

“I’m so glad I’m living and gonna tell the world I am” you sang out of your lungs, holding an imaginary mic.

You pointed towards Adam, prompting him to finish the lyrics. Smiling, Adam clenched his hand in a fist to pretend to be on the mic too. He leaned backwards, throwing his head back.

“I got me a fine woman and she says that I’m her man” he sang back, enthusiastically.

This singing shenanigans would happen so often that you decided to set your own karaoke night on Fridays. You and Adam stole a karaoke machine from a bar and installed it in his room. And now he’s holding you by the shoulders, vigorously shaking you in a playful manner as you can’t stop laughing.

“Feels like you’re dying, you’re dying” he sings with all the air he could gather.

You bend in half, this time a real mic in your hand “Youuuuuuu, your sex is on fire”.

Adam mimics a guitar riff with an high pitched voice as you sing along to Kings of Leon.

“Consuuuuuumed, with what’s to transpire!” Adam goes, crouching onwards himself.

Something definitely changed between you and Adam. You still don’t know what it is but it’s pacifying you.

—

The other patrons at the Hotel noticed, even though a bit later. Your relationship was so obviously sexual that none of them really stopped to think if there was more. Until signs started to show.

One time, all of you were watching a movie downstairs. You had forced Adam to participate even if he didn’t want to and was suggesting to have another karaoke night instead. But in the end, you both plopped down on the couch next to each other with everyone and got comfortable in front of a romantic comedy Charlie put on. At first, you and Adam tried to keep your facade of annoyance. You and him were so dense, you didn’t think the others knew that you two were fucking, so you had to pretend to still hate each other. But, as the movie progressed, you and Adam lost your purpose of showing a fake resentment. You glanced down and noticed the tip of your fingers resting really close to Adam’s. His fingers, weirdly enough, were moving in a jerking motion, stroking the fabric of the couch back and forth, as if he was nervous. You moved your fingers closer. With unusual uncertainty from his part, Adam slid his fingers even closer to yours, making them touch. And you and Adam held hands. You decided not to mention it, staring at the TV with your face on fire and his cheeks colored in a red hue. Your hands stayed intertwined the whole movie, and when it ended you separated quickly, again naively thinking that nobody noticed. But, during the movie, Angel had definitely noticed. The spider demon let out one of the loudest gasps in his life as he covered his mouth with four hands. When you and Adam went upstairs later, everyone was still hanging out in the common room. And Angel raised his shoulders and arms.

“Are y’all blind or did you see what I saw?” he asked, almost irritated.

“What?” Cherri asked while mindlessly scrolling on her phone.

“Like, (Y/N) and Adam holding hands?!” he exclaimed, his arms dramatically falling flat on his sides.

“They’ve been fucking like two horny rabbits for months and this is where you draw the line?” Husk questions, raising a red eyebrow.

“Fucking is one thing, holding hands while watching a romantic movie is another!” Angel protest.

Cherri chuckles “It’s obvious by the amount of sex they have that there’s more”.

“Obvious?” Angel questions “Uhhh, hello?? Hate sex is a thing!”.

And that wasn’t the one and only time. Seems so obvious to everyone now, except to you two. It’s in the way you and Adam snuggle during movies, or when you’re cooking and he hugs you from behind, resting his chin in the space between your horns. It’s in the fact that you don’t call each other names anymore unless you’re having sex. Or when you fly around the city together pulling pranks on people, and sing your hearts out during karaoke. Now it’s not only in the way you two wildly wrestle under the sheets. It’s in the goofy way you try to sweep it under the carpet.

“Uh, we’re going upstairs uh to…FIGHT! Definitely not to have sex! Because we hate SEX!” Adam stopped “No wait, I love sex, I mean-“

“We’d HATE to have sex with each other!” you say, trying to back him up.

“Exactly, not with such a stupid cunt!”

“Hey, too much” you whisper, elbowing his side.

“Oh shit I’m so sorry babe”

And everybody looked at you the most unconvinced, inexpressive poker face. But Charlie, underneath, felt that it was heartwarming. Even if Adam whispered in your ear a “can’t wait to fuck your brains out” when displaying apparent affection, she knew that something was going on and it was nothing but beautiful. This is the purpose of the Hazbin Hotel, after all.

—

Honestly you have no idea what you and Adam are right now. First, you were just a Royal Guard who had to surveil the First Man on Earth, the Exterminator. Then you became his friend with benefits. Now sex is still here, but maybe you’re more friends than anything? Or more. Nothing was defined. You never set boundaries. You had your fair chances of getting intimate with other people, but it felt so wrong so you never went for sex. Adam felt the same. When Cherri brought everyone to the club to have a night out, he had his opportunities to have sex with other girls. But he just didn’t feel like it was right. Especially not if you were in the club with him.

“You can do what you like, you know?” you suggested him in his ear one of those times, in a space between the bar counter and the dance floor. But Adam just shook his head.

“Nah, don’t really feel like it. I mean, yeah that bitch with the black top was all over me but she’s not my type”

He tried to play it cool, not looking at you in the eyes. But in reality, Adam was just checking around to see if your friends were looking. And when he made sure that they were out of sight, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you deeply. It was unexpected coming from him, sure, but you let yourself melt in his kisses as music bumped in your ears. Something was happening.

—

“Here you are” you say.

Your hair is flowing, moved by the slow but firm flapping of your wings. You’re suspended meters and meters high, just in front of the Hazbin Hotel sign. Adam is sitting on the “Z”, holding his golden guitar in his hands. He looks kinda annoyed.

“I was just practicing guitar” he says.

“And I’m still a Royal Guard on duty”

“If your duty is going at it with the one guy you were supposed to surveil, then you’re already doing a great job”

You roll your eyes and scoff “Funny, very funny Adam”.

“Alright, you can hear me play something” he gives in.

“As long as it’s not Wonderwall”

“The fuck no, I fuckin’ hate the Oasis!”

So, with another flap of your wings, you gracefully land next to him. You expect Adam to go wild with one of his exaggerated, over-the-top and ego-boosting guitar solos. But instead, Adam quietly starts a finger picking, quite tune. It’s not a specific rock song, just a chill, peaceful chord progression. Adam starts humming a tune, eyes closed. You press your elbows against your knees and rest your cheek in the open palm of your hand, looking at the view. Pentagram City is a mess, for sure. But with Adam’s unusually calm vocalizing, and his presence, it feels like home. You peek a look at Adam. He’s still keeping his eyes closed, it’s the first time you see him so calm, and not his loud, immature self. He’s beautiful. You realize that your face is hot. And you can’t see it but your pupils are dangerously dilated. You press your lips together, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. Oh you know what’s happening. Maybe you should make it stop. You try to take a deep breath. You’re so in love with Adam.

Adam is lost in his own thoughts and music. He was so comfortable in your presence as he strummed that he almost forgot you were there. He opens his eyes, he just wants to take a quick look at you before closing them again. He realizes that he’s done for the moment he sees how you’re looking at him. With shining eyes, dilated pupils, a fond smile on your face. He doesn’t really realize what it means for you, neither do you. But now his heart is beating at unprecedented speed. Shit, shit, shit. It’s not the first time it happens with you. One time, he felt this way when he woke up before you and saw you sleeping naked next to him, cuddled in his arms. The other was when you held hands for the first time during movie time with the other guests. But this time he’s feeling it on a whole other level. You’re so beautiful. And you’re standing by him listening to his tunes despite the man he is. The one who did so much harm but it’s trying to get better. Adam doesn’t know if he actually has gained any redeeming qualities, but one thing he’s sure about is that at least with you he is a better man. He thinks back on when you two used to argue non stop, resenting each other’s presence. It looks like a far, distant reality that never happened, if anything it’s at least a joke. Adam is so in love with you.

—

Sex still represents the majority of your relationship with Adam. Unlike your feelings, it never changed. Always so loud, fun, satisfying for sure, and unhinged. You and Adam could unleash your personalities at best under the sheets, and that was the best part of it. But this time, something is out of place. Not in a bad way, at all.

Adam is on top of you, placed between your spread legs. His wings are wide open, covering your naked bodies and encapsulating them in a small space reserved to only you two. His thrust are firm, but also slow and sensual, which wasn’t really his style. He’s holding your face with both hands, as he’s mesmerized by your deep moans of pleasure. You cling onto him with nails and legs, holding him as if he was about so slip away. You open your eyes, and catch him staring. He would usually say something sarcastic, like asking the fuck are you looking at. But instead, he looks lost in a profound state of blissful hypnosis, his pupils dilated and mouth slightly parted. Then, Adam plunges forward, still sliding in and out of you with slick sounds. Your breathing becomes even more irregular, hips jerking under his body as waves of pleasure hit you. You tug at Adam’s hair in the spot between his horns. With one hand, Adam firmly holds your hip, while the other has its fingers entangled in your hair, lightly pulling them.

“A-Adam…please I’m so close” you stutter. You would never beg usually, but this time it’s hard not to do so.

What surprises you is the way Adam responds. He would have usually bragged about you begging for him to make you reach your climax, reminding you how much of a whore you are for him. And you would have protested by flipping the roles and making him a mess under your body. But Adam just sinks his face in your neck, whispering.

“I know baby, I know. I got you” he says, interrupted by a moan “Fuck you’re doing so good I swear”.

His movements in you become more erratic, sloppier, and his breath hotter against your ear. The fingers plunged in your hair start stroking your scalp, you try to suffocate your moans of pleasure in his shoulder. You come first around his shaft, whispering quietly his name until you come down from your high. Adam climaxes second, emitting a low, strangled moan in your neck as his wings twitch. You take some time to realize how good it was, your chests rising and lowering with every breath, holding each other. It’s when your mind clears that you realize how atypical of a sexual encounter that was for you and Adam. It was…sweet? Really intimate and not in the physical meaning of the word? Adam never praised you in bed, and you never spoke to him so gently asking to make you finish. And the way he looked at you was absurd, to say at best. With a cherry colored hue on his cheeks, and a light in his eyes you rarely saw in him.

“Ah shit that was great” Adam chuckles, collapsing next to you.

The pride in his face says it all, maybe you were wrong before. You mentally shrug.

“Yeah” you roll on your side, facing him “but I’m so hungry right now”.

Adam sighs, looking up at the ceiling “When I was in Heaven, there was this place that delivered the best fucking ice cream your taste buds could ever graze. A mountain of it. Great for after sex I swear. I miss it”.

Adam takes the opportunity to talk about Heaven more. He’s clearly being nostalgic. He misses it. And while you like hearing him waffling about all the crazy concert he performed, the best restaurants, theme parks and clubs in Heaven, you can’t help but frown. A small smile still lingers on your face, but you ask yourself if Adam really belongs in here. A part of you says of course yes, the other is unsure.

“You know” you say, scooting closer to him “I’ve never really asked myself about how life in Heaven would be. But it really sounds like a beautiful place”.

Adam nods, twisting on his side to face you “Oh fuck yeah it was, I wish I could…”

He interrupts himself as he meets your face, pressed against the pillow. A small, comprehensive smile is gently placed on it, and your eyes are stuck in his own with a visible shine.

Oh no don’t look at me like that.

Adam’s grin disappears, he looks away and tries to play it cool as always, glancing around the room. He clears his throat.

“Yeah I mean, Heaven was great but under a certain perspective…” he trails off.

You wait for him to finish, and he can’t escape your eyes. He finally reciprocates again, getting lost into them.

“Hell is not half-bad, for some reasons” he says.

Adam doesn’t realize it, but now he’s smiling too. His eyebrows are arched upwards in adoration as he ponders on every inch of you. Your now relaxed expression, your glimmering eyes, your naked body covered in white sheets, your head slightly plunged in the pillow. Suddenly, Adam’s smile fades. His eyes go wide, and his heart skips a beat. A wave of realization hits him.

“Holy shit (Y/N) I’m so in love with you”.

Both of you jump in surprise, moving away from each other as the mattress bounces under your bodies. You clench the sheets, and you feel your heart pounding. Where did that come from?!

“What?!” you exclaim.

“WHAT?!” Adam yelps back, incredulous of his own words.

He didn’t mean to say it out loud, he didn’t even mean to say it in his mind actually. You can feel his own panic on your skin, as every inch of your body figuratively catches fire. You don’t know what to say. Adam sits up, covering his face with a hand in embarrassment.

“Fuck! I’m so sorry I ruined everything!” he exclaims, voice panicky.

“Ruined what?”

Oh no. It takes you a second to realize what you said. Adam’s hand files down from his face and looks at you. And you see something you thought you would never witness on Adam’s face. Pain. Adam is hurt. His mouth is slightly open, his breath suspended, his eyebrows knitted. You used to call him many names when you two argued. An asshole, a dirtbag, a dickhead, an irresponsible, immature jerk. But Adam never batted an eye. It’s the first time you see an unmistakable, terrible flash of pain in his face. You feel horrible. You sit up, your mouth open and about to say something. It’s hard to gather the right words after saying something so wrong. You extend a hand towards him, but Adam leans back, away from your touch.

“Adam fuck that’s not what I…” you say, voice shaky.

Adam shuffles away from you again, his face full of regret, embarrassment and clearly pain. He shakes his head, proceeding to get out of bed. He starts looking frantically for his clothes, putting them on as quick as he can. No words come out your mouth, your mind too confused and full of things to process. In just a matter of seconds, Adam is already dressed.

“I-I’m sorry, I gotta go” he stutters, looking at you for a split second.

“Adam, wait! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to sa-!”

You don’t have time to finish what you have to say. Adam had already opened the window of your room, and in the blink of an eye he flew away. Shit, shit, shit! Why did you even say that? That came out so wrong. But you couldn’t help it, you were so taken aback by his sudden confession. You mentally punch yourself in the face. Physically, you limit yourself to drag a hand down your face and groan loudly in your palm. You try to give yourself some time to think, you don’t want to hurt Adam even more. You spend some minutes with your face smothered in your pillow, suffocating sounds of pure frustration. After you gathered your thoughts together, you finally get up from the bed. You put your clothes back on, and head towards the still open window. With a strong flap of your wings, you sprint upwards. As you thought, Adam is sitting on the Hotel sign. He looks pissed. His lips are tightly pressed together and his eyebrows are knitted at the corners. He notices you but doesn’t look up.

“Adam, c’mon…” you say, as kindly as you can.

You keep floating in front of him, the wind generated by your wings making Adam’s hair slightly flow. He doesn’t look at you, he’s just staring at his own knees. For a solid minute you two don’t say anything. Silence has never been a thing between you and Adam, but you respect his wish. Suddenly, Adam breaks it.

“It’s not like you have to pity me” he mumbles.

“I’m not pitying you”

“Um yeah? I just ran off like a pissy school girl and here you are looking at me like a lost child”

“Adam-“

“You know how much time has passed since I last said those words?”

You don’t say anything. Adam finally looks up at you, his eyes a mess of emotions.

“Centuries” he says, spiteful of himself.

Your eyebrows arch upwards in surprise, your forehead corrugated. Your stomach burns, as you can finally feel every emotion Adam tried to hide under sarcasm for so long.

“Centuries?” you ask.

“Yeah, and I know I’ve been literally fucking around for a lot of time so it’s actually my fault, but I can’t say that I don’t mean it once I say it”

“Adam, my question was genuine”.

His mind stops in his tracks. You look weirdly calm. A bit unsure, of course, this is your first very serious conversation. But you’re still collected and he envies you.

“I really wanted to ask you what did you think you ruined. Because I’ll admit it, and I don’t wanna hurt you even more, but I don’t know what goes on in your head. We have all this sex, but also some care, but we also bicker. It’s confusing. I don’t even know if monogamy is your thing. But you showed me care. Sometimes, you still are a bit of a jerk let’s be honest. But I felt care too”.

Your stomach is twirling around, but you can’t stop your flow of consciousness. You wanna know what Adam means, what the First Man wants from a sinner he swore to hate not so long ago. Adam strokes his hair with a hand. His blush intensifies.

“I myself don’t really know what we are. If you know please fuckin’ tell me. What I know is that I feel something, love if that’s what we wanna call it. I mean, look at you! You sing along to rock songs with me, you know how to fight and look so badass while doing it, and you’re hot as fuck too! But if you don’t feel the sa-“

In a sudden movement, you zip towards Adam and grab him by his robe to push him on your lips. He lets out a muffled sound of surprise, but quickly closes his eyes to reciprocate the kiss. It’s calm, sweet, your lips and tongue are moving in tandem in such a tender yet passionate manner. It’s full of care, whatever it is. When you pull away, you look at each other in slight embarrassment. But you push it back immediately.

“I would have never thought I’d say it to you, but I do love you, Adam. Even if you’re still not perfect at all, you’re still a dickhead let’s admit it, I feel something for you. And I don’t expect you to suddenly become a better person just for the sake of being with me, but right now I’m sure I love you like this”.

You had blurted it all out in a single breath, still close to Adam’s face after your kiss. And finally, he smiles. Not with his usual teasing, shit eating grin. He smiles genuinely.

“I still don’t know if I’ll be a redeemable man, or if I want to become one. But at least with you I feel a bit of a better man”.

You smile back at Adam. He looks like a whole other person compared to how he was when you met. He still is his old self. But you came to love him. You and Adam lean forward, capturing yourselves in another deep, thoughtful kiss. Your wings meet, grazing each other as they close around you two. After a while of getting lost in your affection, you separate and playfully smirk.

“C’mon you whiny baby, why don’t we go downstairs to join everyone for movie night?” you suggest.

Adam groans and rolls his eyes “Us being a thing doesn’t mean that I have to participate in every fuckin’ activity of this Hotel”

“Uhh, yeah it does? I’m still in charge of forcing you to join. Now get your lazy ass off of there and let’s go”

“Okay, finee but can we have sex again after?”

“Of course we can”

“Hell yeah”

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Ok So who is down for a bit of a wild Eddie Diaz is Freddie Mercury theory that is actually based in colour theory?!!

Yeah, yeah, I know that sounds insane but hear me out!

So Freddie superstar queer man of moustache wearing fame who also happened to sport a swept back floppy haired look in the 1980’s

Remind you of anyone??

Yeah - similar hairstyle and moustache! Keep that in mind as we continue!

Did you know that he never actually confirmed his sexuality publicly?

He hinted at it in the lyrics of Bo Rhap - which he wrote (and released with Queen) in 1975 when he was figuring things out. At that time he was in a relationship with a woman (Mary Austin - who he called his wife even though they never married. They remained best of friends and she was at his side when he died - he left her most of his estate) but had an affair with a man - and was also dealing with religious and childhood trauma (he was sent to catholic school and had a difficult upbringing at the hands of his mother). Bo Rhap was Freddie sorting through all of his feelings around his sexuality - the lyrics can be interpreted in many ways but the other members of Queen have spoken about its meaning being clear and personal to Freddie at the time. So ‘mama’ is a reference to the Virgin Mary and also to his mother - playing on both his childhood and religious traumas, saying he didn’t mean to make them cry is about not wanting to disappoint them but also about needing to be true to himself. ‘Just killed a man’ is about the death of his heterosexuality. I could go on (I can always write a post explaining the lyrics more fully if that is something that would interest anyone - Queen and Freddie were a hyperfixation of mine as a teenager!!) but I won’t in order to keep to my actual wild theory!

Now I wonder who that sounds like?? Childhoood trauma at the hands of his mother, catholic upbringing that didn’t fit with who he is, relationship with a woman who he loved but didn’t love the right way?? Yeah that sounds remarkably like a certain Edmundo Diaz if you ask me.

Now the moment Freddie actually ‘came out’ without actually coming out and essentially confirming he was not straight (there is debate about if he was gay or bi because he referred to himself as bi) was when he released ‘The Great Pretender’ in 1987 - when he was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS (he had been showing symptoms since 1982 but he also never actually confirmed his diagnosis until the day before his death in 1991) The reason this is significant in relation to Eddie DIaz is multi fold!

Firstly this was the moment Freddie chose to shave off his moustache as a symbol of not hiding who he was anymore and he never grew it back. So for Freddie Mercury his moustache was a literal mask and not a symbol of his queerness. The song is literally about coming out to the world and confessing and not hiding who you are and about wanting to fit in even though you are different. When we have had Episodes titled Masks, confessions, and have wannabes coming up - and we have Eddie Diaz shaving off his moustache as a symbol of not hiding any longer - choosing to embrace his true self - that’s a pretty loud parallel if you ask me.

Now to the colour theory of it all - because you see we have pink coming to the party for both Eddie and Freddie!

Freddie wore this wonderful double breasted pale pink satin suit for the promotional photographs and for the music video of ‘The Great Pretender’ and the scenes he wore it for in the music video were the ones that symbolised him being his true self as he reflected back on his life and all the various costumes and ‘disguises’ he wore throughout his life and career.

And now we’ve had Eddie in Pink for two very key scenes - the only time he has worn pink in the entire show.

Firstly we have the karaoke scene with Eddie in his Crockett and Tubbs pale pink suit and dark pink shirt.

And then we have Risky business Eddie in a pale pink shirt

Both times Eddie has worn pink pale pink have been in connection with being shown his true unmasked and unfiltered self - at the karaoke we see him letting loose and just enjoying himself, and then we have the newly shaven Eddie dancing the Risky business dance finding joy in something. They’re both scenes about Eddies joy, his freedom and him expressing himself. They’re about showing the audience who the real Eddie is - when he isn’t weighed down by all the other things in his life.

Oh hey look, its not even just the pink parallels of it all because we also had drag queens in the great pretender music video (L-R Roger Taylor, Peter Straker and Freddie Mercury) just like we did in the Karaoke scene.

And then we have the green and pink parallel!

Because something I have been side eyeing hard since we first got the stills for the karaoke scene is the colour swap for Buck and Eddie. This was the first time we saw Eddie in pink - in any real colour colour to be honest - Eddie has stuck to a pretty rigid colour palette since he first appeared in Under pressure (oh look yet another Queen reference!) always in muted shades rarely wearing anything bright and generally in a green, grey, blue, black and white colour palette with a little bit of burgundy/maroon thrown in. The only time we’ve really seen him in anything close to a bright colour is the yellow shirt from 601 which we have just seen again in 806. Buck however has worn pink on numerous occasions (Mays graduation party, the tsunami, the hilly coffee maker scene, when Chim figures out Buck knew where Maddie was scene etc etc) and so it is a staple colour for him. Mint green however is not a colour he wears - in fact Buck wearing green more generally is not common at all (especially outside of break up scenes!). So I was already looking for significance in the colour choices that had been made - but didn’t have all the pieces (and not just because the actual karaoke element of the scene had been cut) - until now! Now it is very clear that wardrobe and ABP have to have been given specific colour instructions about Eddies costume colour - because they needed it to play into the Freddie Mercury concept - the pink suit and the swept back hair, the drag queens - the entire thing was a nod to the great pretender and basically the kicking off of a queer arc for Eddie - now backed up by the 806 scene.

I wrote at the time in my meta about pink being the colour for the season and being a play on innocence and naïveté - which did fit with this scene and Eddie in this scene, but it also felt like it wasn’t the entire answer - with the context of the risky business Eddie scene though - now it is making sense - it is about showing Eddie letting go and being free, but it is also symbolic of Eddie becoming lighter (and no I don’t mean in terms of the fact he seems to only wear half his clothes when he’s in pink!) as he allows his true self to see the sunlight.

It also gives us this very interesting parallel/mirroring - Eddie in Pink - Buck in green - in both scenes - the framing is the same - right down to Eddie drinking his beer!

Notice how the tone has swapped though - Eddie darker toned in his darker pink shirt while Buck is super pale in the mint green - switched to Eddie in the super pale pink while Buck is in the very dark green. In S7 both are in relationships and they’re all over each other - because it is ‘safe’ to do so - its the most intimate we’ve ever actually scene them (physically I know they’ve metaphorically been closer) Then when they’re both single they’re keeping a foot apart!

The parallel is a really interesting one - this idea that the episode before - in 705 both Buck and Eddie nearly end up single but choose to stay/ pursue relationships that are not the right fit for them - highlighted by this karaoke scene showing who there person actually is - now backed up by the final scene of 806 - reversed colours and all - showing who their person is after both relationships have ended. The light and dark of both scenes plays into who is in the better place in that moment - So Buck was in the best place in 706 while Eddie is in 806. The other aspect of the two scenes is the loud v quiet. Bucks bi arc being a loud and bright colourful affair full of drama etc, while Eddies is taking a more sedate and quiet route - much like the quiet of a scene where they just sit together in silence. This is a reflection of what each needs in those moments - Buck needed the world to accept him and his bisexuality in 706 and in 806 its about Eddie accepting himself. Their journey’s from here on out are the opposite - Buck now needs to sit in the silence and accept himself while Eddie needs the acceptance of the outside world (namely his parents and Chris) they are holding mirrors up to each other and it perfectly highlights their respective personalities and wider journeys. It also reflects the duality of Freddie Mercury himself - a complete showman - confident and full of charisma on stage - off stage however he was, by all accounts a quiet and unassuming but complex man who accepted himself privately but wasn’t able or wiling to share all of himself with the world (as was and is his right).

So the Freddie Mercury parallel that it seems Tim is playing into is very loud and telling and the colour theory is backing it up perfectly so far.

This is a rambling mess - it’s 2:30am and I should be asleep so apologies if it makes zero sense, but I hope it does!

[hetalimagines]

General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)

Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!

He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!

He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.

“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”

(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)

Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.

He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.

He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.

His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!

He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.

He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.

He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.

Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.

He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.

He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.

Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.

He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.

Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.

He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.

This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.

He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.

He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!

He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.

Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.

He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.

A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!

He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!

If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.

Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.

He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.

Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.

You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!

He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.

“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter

He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.

He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.

Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.

Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.

[twig-tea]

Love in the Big City TV Series Episodes 1 &2: The Loneliness of Conformity and Nonconformity

[Wondering what’s going on here? In Feb-Mar of this year a bunch of us agreed to read the Love in the Big City novel one part per week and write pieces in response to the novel and @bengiyo’s excellent discussion questions weekly, which was a fantastic experience. @lurkingshan did the driving and wrangling and organizing, and compiled all of the meta from that period here . Now we’re watching and responding the series on the same cadence, 1 part (2 episodes) per week, and Shan is once again wrangling us and Ben is again providing excellent discussion questions to help inspire responses. Like last time, rather than answer the discussion questions directly, I’ll let them inform the directions my thoughts take. Also re: romanization, I’m going to use Go Yeong for the TV adaptation and Young for the novel since they seem to have standardized his name to “Yeong” at least on Viki, and that provides some distinction which is convenient]. 

In my written response to part 1 of the novel I talked about how Young was an unreliable narrator, because he was so dissociated from his own emotions that he didn’t often notice when he was having them. The loss of the bulk of the first person narration is inevitable in an adaptation to a visual medium, but I think these episodes still captured Young’s general disconnect to his emotions especially in episode 1. There are moments where he smiles that felt almost jarring, like smiling is his default response even if it’s emotionally a mismatch. The change in perspective in the series also means we see beyond Young’s POV, so we get the Mi Ae outing scene (which as @lurkingshan laid out, lent Mi Ae more sympathy than Jaehee was represented with in the novel) which really underscored that in that moment, she chose her future husband and the person she was becoming over her best friend and the person she used to be. I liked how the series included the karaoke scene with the T-ara's shading Nam Gyu so that we had context for what Yeong expected when he went to dinner with Mi Ae and Jun Ho, and how different Mi Ae's behaviour was to his expectations (instead of his commentary about it that we got from his first person narration in the novel).

Like @starryalpacasstuff pointed out, I liked how the argument in the show between Yeong and Mi Ae after she outed him made it more obvious that part of the reason why Yeong was so upset was that he was already hurt by Mi Ae pulling away. @wen-kexing-apologist rightly pointed out that Mi Ae put herself in the position to have to out Yeong by lying to Jun Ho in the first place, and one of the things that both the novel and the series left me wondering was whether Jaehee/Mi Ae made that decision knowingly; did she choose to embrace amatonormativity and a heteronormative life trajectory because she wanted it, or did she feel like she had to? Either way, Yeong's pain of seeing someone who he otherwise had so much in common deviate towards the norm and leave him behind and further isolated is very familiar. I linked out to my alternative milestones to measure your life by in that original book club post and I’ll take the excuse to do it again; for those of us who find the standard hetero/amatonormative milestones alien/undesirable, it’s nice to think about other ways we can think about the progress in our lives.

Another change in the series that I appreciated was the addition of more of Yeong and Nam Gyu’s relationship. Ben talked about how much more realized a character Nam Gyu was to K3/Kia guy in his post. The building out of K3 with things like a hometown, cheesy song choices, (h/t @moutheyes) and heteronormative romantic idealism tied to traditions like Namsan Tower (h/t @lurkingshan) was all possible because of the time that a visual medium provides (like WKA said in their post linked above) and all made him feel much more like a real person that inspired sympathy than Young ever described him as in the novel (this is not a failing of the novel, but it gives them a different flavour that I am appreciating in both iterations).

And because he’s a more realized character, Nam Gu's death hit me harder watching the show. From reading the novel, I remember Young returning to K3’s final text messages regularly, and how his reaction sounded very dissociated, but the scene of the empty funeral mourning room in the series is one of those visuals that will stick with me. It's been a couple of days and my stomach hurts just thinking about it. He was trying so hard to live a "normal" life that he was in some fundamental ways barred from by society, and it left him so lonely.

By seeing more of Yeong’s life in the series adaptation, it made it more obvious to me how many ways Yeong is choosing to be alone, and how his relationship with Mi Ae was an exception to that rule until it wasn’t. I noticed that Yeong moving in with Mi Ae coincided with the T-aras leave for their mandatory military service, and his breakup with Nam Gyu was after their sendoff party. By having more of Yeong's relationships depicted in these episodes, his loneliness when Mi Ae was gone to employee training and after they stopped talking was louder than in the novel, because we as an audience were aware that there were people he was choosing not to call. And it's worth noting that it was only when he had cut ties with Mi Ae that he turned back to Nam Gyu, only to close off that thread permanently too. It was an interesting pattern to me, that In the series, Yeong ends things with Nam Gyu after he loses other people in his life.

As  @shinjikar1 pointed out Yeong's parallel losses of Nam Gyu and Mi Ae are about the decision to conform or not conform (and @troubled-mind pointed out how perfectly the song parallel really underscores this comparison, and the visuals of the abandoned marlboros and the ring do the same (h/t @conscbgb). H/t @lurkingshan for saying in our chats that specifically, Yeong's relationships with Mi Ae and Nam Gyu represent conforming to or rejecting a set heteronormative standard. Mi Ae chooses to conform and marry Jun Ho, but Yeong chooses not to commit to Nam Gyu, and so he loses both Nam Gyu and Mi Ae as a result. Yeong laments his choice after Nam Gyu's death, but as @my-rose-tinted-glasses wrote, that read to me more as romanticizing a relationship only after it's done than any realistic assessment of their relationship potential. And the bittersweet representation of Mi Ae’s relationship with Jun Ho and how the only moment she really looks happy and herself at her wedding is the moment she runs over to sing with Yeong (and how we can see by his reaction that Jun Ho has never actually seen his wife be herself) tells me that maybe the decision to conform may not be any less lonely. That being said, as @impala124 called out, just because a relationship ends that does not negate its importance in our lives, and I love how that theme which was so strong in the novel shines through in the series adaptation.

As Ben mentioned in his post linked above, I chatted with him about how I was not just thinking about the additions but also pondering the scenes that were left out of this adaptation (e.g. the STI scare scene), and whether the moment at the funeral when Yeong asks how Nam Gyu died might function in a similar way for the TV adaptation that the STI scene functioned in the novel–something that when we reflect back on later, in the context of Kylie, will get additional weight and meaning. I wondered, too, about the club scene when Yeong kissed that random guy so hard the guy pushed him off and checked if his lip was bleeding, and how different that was to Young freaking out at the taste of blood after kissing too hard in the novel. Again, that scene made me wonder whether this was before Kylie or after, and if Yeong kissing people too hard will be a theme in the series. Similarly, we didn’t get the coverage of his time in the military in the first two episodes, but we instead got a mention of the T-aras leaving for their military service, which leaves Yeong’s military service as a loud absence, again seeding the presence of Kylie in a different way to how it was foreshadowed in the novel.

Lastly, this is tangential to everything, but I found myself thinking about how Korean audiences might react differently to the Itaewon scenes and how different they must be to how things are now, post-Itaewon crush incident and how the club culture has changed as a result of that event and COVID-19. The kids apparently just don’t go to the clubs like this anymore. In that sense, these episodes feel a little like nostalgia for a generation and not just for youth in general.

[madlori]

Here's where I am with Buddie.

[CW: I am using the Buddie tag on this post, even though the gist of it is that I'm increasingly doubtful that it'll ever happen. This is NOT an anti-Buddie essay. If you'd rather not read about this topic, please keep scrolling. The bulk of the essay is behind the cut.]

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I've thought a lot about this over the weeks since 7x04 aired. It's not a secret that I'm wildly enthusiastic about the BuckTommy pairing (as are many fans) but what does that mean for my thoughts and opinions about Buddie, a pairing I still love and for which I am still writing fic (slowly but surely…)?

It's become increasingly difficult to reconcile hopes for Buddie with dread for a BuckTommy breakup, but if the show managed to pull off a breakup that did not destroy me, I would still be all in for a Buddie endgame.

But more and more, I don't think it's in the cards, and I'm increasingly okay with that.

First off, I know it's a common assumption that Buck and Tommy have an expiration date, and that it cannot last. That may very well be the case, but…the show is not acting like it, nor are they presenting this arc as if it's short-lived. Episodes 4-6, while also being about other things (especially the amazing Madney wedding plot in 6) were also a bit of a trilogy about Buck discovering his sexuality and taking tentative steps into a relationship with another man. It didn't go…particularly smoothly, but the events of 7x06 where they were concerned had a completely different tone. They had a much more settled vibe in the karaoke club scenes, from Tommy's very boyfriendly "check-in" look before he had to leave, to Buck's casual/distracted "Be safe" (as if he's said this before) and just how they spoke to each other and touched each other was much more comfortable than in the coffee meetup. Which makes me think it's been a few weeks and they've seen each other a few times in the interim.

And then that kiss. Putting aside that it was juxtaposed with a literal wedding kiss, there was nothing uncertain or hesitant about it. It felt like a very arc-capping kiss, coupled with the reveal to the rest of Buck's friends and family, and the clear message was "Okay, they're done 'getting together' now, they are together and will be together going forward, even if we don't see Tommy every episode (much as we don't see Karen every episode)." We know Tommy will be around through the end of S8, if not in every remaining episode. After that, we'll see.

A lot of fans have viewed one of the guys coming out as queer to be a first step towards a Buddie future, but I have to say I've never been super comfortable with that logic. I've always thought that if they were going to get together, or both be revealed to be queer, it would have to be at the same time, with each other, via them getting together. The minute they pulled the trigger on Bisexual Buck, I immediately thought that this made Buddie far less likely. Why?

Because it would mean that the writers/showrunners would be making BOTH their "hot younger firefighter" characters queer…separately. In separate storylines. Distinct from each other. And I just don't see that happening. I'm not saying it SHOULDN'T happen. I'd be over the moon. I'm saying I think that's unlikely.

As much as it pains me to say it, I think Eddie will be written as straight and will continue to be written as straight. I don't disagree with the many examples of queer coding we've all seen - the problem is all of them can be just as easily interpreted as arising from a different trauma. Almost everything we've seen from him that could very legitimately be read as breadcrumbs for a queer identity for him could also be rooted in his trauma over Shannon's death, his family trauma, his PTSD, or his general anxiety over being enough for people. He can be read as having sexuality crises. But he can also be read as having other crises with the same results.

I'm not seeing a sexuality crisis for Eddie in the future. I just don't feel like that's where they're taking him. They're taking him somewhere -- he's got storylines coming up -- but I think they're going to have to do with his family, possibly his friendship with Buck, maybe his relationship (I think we can all agree Marisol isn't going to last, she's like the anti-Tommy in that she's been around way longer but has infinitely less of a presence), and Christopher. That's a lot to deal with just right there. If I'm wrong, I will be delighted to be wrong.

But.

I think the show will continue to prioritize and showcase Buck and Eddie's very deep and emotional friendship, which is revolutionary in its own quiet way. Another thing that makes me think they're setting Tommy up to be a long term love interest is that one of the first things they did with him was affirm that he will not come between Buck and Eddie, give him his own relationship with Eddie and Chris, and have him show that he understands and respects the depth of their bond. Not to mention they've integrated him with the firefam. No other of Buck's love interests have gotten this treatment (Taylor had the most contact with the firefam, but I don't think anyone would say she was integrated, LOL). And it shows how committed they are to maintaining Buck and Eddie's friendship as a key emotional element of the show. Tim has also said this, repeatedly.

People often say that there's no explanation for how Buck and Eddie are with each other if it's not romantic - I read a fantastic essay that pointed out that this statement is the reason their platonic friendship IS so important. Men should be able to be vulnerable and loving with each other without it being romantic, as women can be. If we're unable to see a loving friendship without interpreting it as romantic or sexual, what does that say about the kind of male friendships we see everywhere, that makes this one so different?

I know this is an old anti-Buddie argument and I'm not anti-Buddie nor do I mean it's wrong to see it as romantic. I still do. I'm saying if it's not, if it never is, what it is, is already valuable and special, especially when one of them is now openly queer and dating a man.

Anyway. That's where I am with it, and my interpretation of where the show is with it.

[cryptomiracle]

more creepypasta headcanons

(+ marble hornets)

WARNINGS:

Ooc? Idk

I started this at 2 am and you can tell

Cursing

I write on my phone so the format may be a little weird

Any brands, games, or characters mentioned in this do NOT belong to me, nor am I sponsored by them in any way.

This is very unserious, I've noticed that a lot of my other hcs usually take a "dark" turn and so I decided to make some that didn't.

You could even say they're a bit... silly.

You should totally check out my masterlist for more hcs (it's pinned)

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Characters: masky, hoodie, ticci toby, jeff the killer, and BEN DROWNED.

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Jeff:

he's extremely hard headed, he WILL argue/fight with someone over the dumbest things and he'll never stop arguing, even if he knows the other person is right.

He has an "emo accent"

He likes to start drama between people, and then leave the crime scene.

He is so ashy you could strike a match off of his elbow

He's been wearing the same beat up converse since 2012, them things are being held together by duct tape and a prayer.

His favorite animal is a raccoon, he says they're sneaky and nocturnal like him.

He refuses to get a new phone, he won't even steal one.

He curses all the time just cause he can, sometimes he'll even jumble random curse words together.

BEN:

He listens to vocaloid and he doesn't play about miku

He runs one of those "rage bait" accounts that are painfully obviously bait

Still quotes old memes and refuses to let them die

Example: yeet, t-posing, and "sanic the hedgehog"

He scams old people on Facebook and e-daters, he doesn't feel bad about it either.

He uses the money he gets from scamming to buy v-bucks and overwatch coins

He once doxxed someone for dissing miku

slender had to take away his mic privileges because he was keeping everyone up at night by yelling bloody murder at people on fortnite/overwatch

once showed up at someones house because they emoted on him after killing him in game

Toby:

He vapes, and thinks he's so cool cause he can do "vape tricks" and he makes people watch him while he does them

Someone once gave him apple cider, told him it was alcohol, and he pretended to be drunk.

His phone gallery is filled with random photos, like there'll be a low quality picture of a tree and then right beside it a picture of a ceiling. Just random stuff

Mint chocolate chip ice cream enjoyer

He's really flexible, although he has bad posture he can do back bends, the splits, etc

more on his terrible posture; when he sits he literally looks like this: ) )

When he first started working for slenderman, he REFUSED to live in the manor and lived outside. While he lived outside he became friends with a lot of the wildlife, slender eventually made him move into the manor because there was a rumor that toby was going to make a "possum army" and try to overthrow slender

He will fight anyone and anything he really doesn't care about his, or their well-being.

Had a "weeb" phase when he was in middle school and he still has nightmares about "naruto running" away from his bullies.

Hoodie:

He can make a killer sandwich (lol) he's not the best at cooking other things, but if you get him to make you a sandwich, he'll bless your taste buds.

He loves karaoke, he can't sing for shit but he still does it anyway

He acts like a millennial (I'm sorry) not to the point where it's completely unbearable, but he will send people "relatable memes" every now and then

He enjoys online arguments, he'll never participate but he will scroll through different threads of people arguing for hours on end

He likes for people to say stuff like "GO WHITE BOY GO" to him

He blushes when he lies, he's a scarily good liar but if you ever want to catch him in a lie, point out the fact that his cheeks are red.

Whenever he has a drink with a straw, he holds the straw in-between his tooth gap.

he sends streaks.

Masky:

He has a NASTYYY side eye, and sometimes he'll scrunch up his nose while side eyeing someone just to make it sting even more

Contemplated getting a mullet once, he never went through with it though.

He coughs like someone's grandfather who smoked three packs of cigarettes a day for 40 years

If someone says a word that reminds him lf a song he likes, it'll automatically get stuck in his head and he'll hum it all day after that.

he isn't weak when it comes to stinky smells, but if it's stinky enough to make him gag he's extremely overdramatic.

he learned how to sew because of how much he ripped his jeans, shirts, etc.

Sleeps so hard sometimes people think he's dead, he'll just be laying there looking casket ready but everyone is too scared to check on him cause he gets super grumpy when woken up.

he always keeps a little money hidden somewhere, even if it's just a 5 dollar bill.

he's superstitious, if he sees you attempt to walk under a ladder he will physically drag you back and make you walk around it.

he has a pair of brass knuckles which he only saves for "special occasions" they're his favorite things ever, he even named them.

he only uses his phone to call, text, or search something up, and that's it.

he doesn't even have YouTube installed.

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I will be reading over this to check for any errors, ty for reading - M

[jihyoruri]

firecracker!yn facts I miss my hot head

FIRECRACKER!YN FACTS

firecracker!yn, was added to lesserafim in the summer of 2022 making her a late added member

firecracker!yn, before she was a trainee she did taekwondo and was so big that she could’ve been the youngest to go to the olympics

firecracker!yn, loves ghibli so much it’s an obsession she has everything ghibli

firecracker!yn, has major anger issues and it gets really bad sometimes like her issues are not a joking matter to the members and they’ll immediately go after the person who tries to trigger her purposefully.

firecracker!yn, has really bad vision and is always in her glasses the, only time you won’t see her in them is when she’s on stage.

firecracker!yn, is the second youngest of the group only being a year older than eunchae.

firecracker!yn, likes be alone, she’s always in her room and in behind the scene videos she’s always in her own corner on the couch mostly staring off into space.

firecracker!yn, loves wired headphones like for some reason she can’t stand bluetooth.

firecracker!yn, she’s really close friends with rei from ive.

firecracker!yn, has the biggest beef with yunjin it’s the funniest things ever.

firecracker!yn, loves sakura so much like that’s her mom.

firecracker!yn, is forced to have chaewon sit beside her during interviews so the leader can monitor her when she gets the mic (chaewon is genuinely scared of what yn will say because she’s so unpredictable.)

firecracker!yn, she’s a chrome hearts ambassador

firecracker!yn, has the biggest beef with minji

firecracker!yn, is known for how bored she looks during award shows (but she’s actually amazed she just doesn’t know how to express facial expressions if it isn’t anger)

firecracker!yn, is blackpink’s biggest fan fan ( it was confirmed that rosé follows yn’s insta on her private account, in one of her fim-vlogs there’s a blackpink light stick in the background in her room, she wore a born pink tour shirt at the airport, she had a jisoo photo card in the back of her case for a while, when the girls filmed karaoke for a vid the only song yn participated in was playing with fire, a leaked photo of younger yn at a blackpink concert and there’s clips of every time an interviewer asks the girls about other groups yn finds a way to bring up blackpink)

firecracker!yn, along with blackpink being her favourite 3rd gen group, aespa is her fav 4th gen group.

firecracker!yn, is called the ace of her group because of how she excels in rap dance and singing and writing and producing.

firecracker!yn, likes to keep her hair short but always has crazy highlights in it.

firecracker!yn, has a soft voice for someone who’s so grungy and is always mad.

firecracker!yn, wrote and produced, impurities and celestial and for other groups she’s produced and written, cool with you, get up newjeans, sacrifice(eat me up), chaconne enhypen, my night routine formis_9 (SHE IS HYBES ELITE EMPLOYEE)

firecracker!yn, has compilations of her laughing at something eunchae said but then immediately making her face straight again.

firecracker!yn, is the biggest instigator when it comes to her members arguing with each other because most of time its the other way around and it’s her arguing with them.

firecracker!yn, has two locks on her door.

firecracker!yn, grew up with her dad, her two older brothers and her little brother .

firecracker!yn, has a loose mouth and is constantly getting caught swearing on camera.

firecracker!yn, biggest scandal is her telling yunjin that she’s gonna push her off the stage in the background of one of their videos.

firecracker!yn, either has a blackpink photocard in the back of her phone or a iz*one sakura photo card.

firecracker!yn, has a belly and tongue piercing that she got without any her member knowing (she literally have chaewon a heart attack when she saw it)

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: Who I am and Who you want me to be

“For Christ Sake, Alex! For once! I wish you could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be!”

“Starting today, the world will know me for who I am, and not who you want me to be.”

Okay so let’s take a look at these two lines, shall we?

Henry views his own self as two facets: Prince Henry, and Henry Fox.

Prince Henry belongs to Britain. He is a servant of the crown. He has to prioritize the crown’s image, what the crown wants. The mindless ribbon cuttings, the convention and appearances, the hiding in the closet, it's what's demanded of Prince Henry. Prince Henry cannot pursue a relationship with a man because he has to maintain a “traditional royal image”. Prince Henry cannot be seen walking through Austin holding hands with Alex because “the nation will simply not accept a prince who is homosexual".

Henry Fox, is a romantic and a dreamer. He wants to be a writer and live in Paris. He called his first time with Alex "making love". He wore a white suit to a vacation, wowed at his boyfriend's family lake house even if he lives in a palace and jokes with his boyfriend's father. He plays volleyball and reads while lying in a hammock. He rants about literature, poetries and books. He watches Bake-off with his dog while eating Jaffa Cakes when he can't sleep. He does tequila shots and sings Queen in karaoke. He laughs when Alex splashes water all over him and kisses his shoulder.

The public, see Prince Henry.

Alex, sees both, but knows Henry Fox intimately. When you ask him to talk about Henry, he will think of Henry Fox.

So here's the thing.

Henry, is ultimately, both. He is the Prince of England's Hearts. He is also the boy who has been in love with Alex for years.

But Henry feels like one is more important than the other.

So in the Kensington confrontation, when Henry says “I wish you Could see me for who I am and not who you want me to be!"

"Who I am" refers to Prince Henry.

"Who you want me to be "refers to Henry Fox.

From Henry's perspective, in this scene, he's prioritizing Prince Henry. He thinks that he has to be Prince Henry first and foremost. That's why he's labelling that facet as "who he is", even though he has mentioned before that he doesn't want to be this image of the "perfect prince", that being Prince Henry requires him to hide pieces of himself and it hurts.

What he's saying here, is essentially Alex is not taking "Prince Henry" into considerations regarding their relationship, that he's being idealistic on the degree of freedom Henry has. He's saying that all Alex sees is Henry Fox, his private, true, personal side, that Henry, at that moment, thinks is less important than Prince Henry, which bless him, but is sort of true on Alex's part. Alex is so used to being with Henry Fox that he forgets about Prince Henry, which is why he talked about their future so casually with not much regards on Henry's part.

So this sentence can be rephrased as "I wish you could see all the burden I carry and how impossible it is for me to escape it, rather than just our happy moments together that are not meant to last.”

Now let's look at the Buckingham Confrontation, where the words are flipped: "Starting today, the world will know me for who I am, and not who you want me to be."

This time "Who I am" is Henry Fox, and "Who you want me to be" is Prince Henry, which I would say is the objective allocation of the two names.

This is Henry reclaiming his own identity and image. This is Henry pushing away the traditional, perfect, heterosexual “Prince Henry”, saying “That’s not who I am”, taking that title and merging it with bits of “Henry Fox”: the gay prince in love with FSOTUS, the romantic who writes poetry about his man’s body, the lover who encourages Alex when he loses his confidence.

There are parts of Henry Fox that they don’t show the public, that should be kept between him and his loved ones: the boy whose heart broke when his father died, the boy who struggles with self-worth and depression, the boy who likes grabbing his boyfriend’s hair. Honestly as a public figure, or anyone who interacts with a group of strangers, it’s completely normal to create a public persona that only shows parts of him.

The difference now is that he gets to decide what to show the public. Prince Henry is no longer a straight-up lie, rather than an incomplete version of Henry Fox. This is his identity to claim, and his image to build.

Now, Prince Henry and Henry Fox both belong to him.

Now, Henry George Edward James Hanover-Stuart Fox can write his own history.

[mikasa-imadebiscults]

Hi! I really love your writings! And thanks for write something for Present mic,he so underrated😢

Since you request are open can i ask an NSFW between fem reader abd hizashi(in their young age,like 19 years old) when they try to have they fisrt time in Hizashi house?

(Hey Anon! No need to thank me haha, I’m always here to make people happy. Anyway I hope you enjoy this and have a great day!)

The Next Level

Hizashi Yamada x FEM! Reader

(Warning: Smut, swearing, and unprotected sex)

It’s been a year since you and Hizashi first met. The both of you were eighteen and met at a club, he came up to you and sparked up a conversation and ever since then you two became inseparable. Although you started developing feelings for Hizashi, romantic feelings, but you decided not to do anything about it because you were afraid that he would only see you as a best friend.

All of that changed when one day Hizashi called you, asking to hang out with him at the same club you met each other at. Of course you instantly agreed and that was one of the greatest decisions you’ve ever made, because that was when he confessed to you and got into a relationship.

....

Today was an eventful day, it was your one year anniversary. The both of you decided to celebrate by going to a karaoke show, walk around and try some street food, and finally head to his house and chill. He drove you to his home, jamming to the radio on blast and talking about all the things you could do whenever you arrived. You were curious to see what his home looked like, but no matter what it looked like you knew it was gonna be so much fun hanging out there.

“Well here we are!” Hizashi says enthusiastically before getting out of the car. Humming a song that’s been stuck in his head.

You got out and got a better look of the house, there was nothing special about it, it just looked like an ordinary home, though there were a couple dead plants by the door. “So, you’re bad at taking care of plants huh?” You teased, already knowing he was gonna have a dramatic reaction to your comment.

“Hey it’s not my fault that they’re so needy. I didn’t even want them here in the first place, they just appeared!” He raises his hands dramatically, causing you to let out a small chuckle. He unlocks the door and heads inside, “Welcome to my humble abode! Make yourself at home, I’m going to get some snacks for the movie. Make sure you choose a good one.”

“No promises!” You joked, heading to the living room, looking around the place. It was a rather cozy feeling and it smelled like your favorite scent. Did he spray stuff before you got here? Or maybe he lit a candle? Whatever he did, the kind gesture made you smile, you’re definitely going to tease him about this later on.

You get settled on the couch, grabbing the remote to choose the movie, picking a romantic comedy one. It looked interesting and had high ratings so what could go wrong?

“I’m here with the snacks!” Hizashi yells, ripping you out of your thoughts. He lays out the assortment of food on the coffee table and plops down next to you, “Sooo whatcha pick?”

“Oh it’s a romantic comedy, it looked cool so I chose it.” You explain, pressing play on the movie.

“Yes! That’s my second favorite genre. My favorite being comedy of course.” He said, giving you a wide smile before turning his attention to the television.

....

Luckily your movie picking skills are still as sharp as ever cause the movie so far is amazing; the plot, characters, and the scenes. There was this one certain scene where the two main characters were getting a little spicy. While watching that scene, you couldn’t help but imagine you and Hizashi doing something like that, the thought made your heart beat faster.

You tried to not think about it, but it’s hard when the wet feeling in between your legs increases. Looking over at Hizashi, he had a blush dusted on his cheeks. Was he thinking about the same thing?

A sudden strong wave of boldness washed over you, scooting closer to him and grabbing his face to look at you, face inches away from his. “How about we do something more exciting?” You say seductively, causing his blush to turn a darker shade of red before smirking.

“Ha I like this side of you.” He said, lips brushing against yours before finally kissing you. Straddling you onto his lap without breaking the kiss, his hands resting on your hips. The kiss lasted for a long few minutes before you pulled away to get some air, staring into each other’s eyes full of love and lust.

“Are you sure about this? Are you ready to take our relationship to the next level?” Hizashi asks, making sure that you were completely ready and comfortable with this.

You softly smile at him, “Yes, I want my first time to be with you.”

Hizashi’s eyes widened a bit, “So it’s your first time too huh? I’m glad I’m not alone in this then hehe.” He smiles back at you, “So are you gonna take this top off or what?”

You feel his hands slowly slip underneath your top, “I guess I am.” You retort, taking off your top and throwing it to the side with a plastered smirk on your face, making Hizashi chuckle.

“Ha you always find a way to make me laugh, I love that about you.” He gushed, slowly kissing your neck and biting it gently. You let out a long sigh when his hand reached underneath your bra, playing with your nipple with his thumb.

He feels your body grind on him desperately, your private hitting his own each time. You felt the tent on his pants grow, “I should take these off hmm?” You say, hands gesturing to your bottoms. He nods his head before pulling you into another kiss, pulling away shortly to let you take off the rest of your clothes while he unzips his pants.

In no time you had all your clothes off, you were way too pent up and excited for what's to come. You crawled back onto his lap, his hand instantly went to grip your waist gentle but still firm. You hovered over his cock angling yourself to settle onto it while he kissed your jawline, holding back a relieved groan.

You grabbed Hizashi’s shoulders while you adjusted to his size, humping slowly on it for some friction. The movement caused both of you to moan. He leans forward kissing you passionately, you wrap your arms around his head to deepen the kiss. You begin to move faster to get even more pleasure, you were needy and he could tell so he thrusted his hips upward in a slow but hard fashion.

The slow, hard thrusts turned fast and rough and ripped loud moans out of you, which were muffled from the deep kiss. Hizashi slides his hands down to your ass, squeezing it while he pulls away to watch your facial expressions contort with pleasure.

He groans as your moans get even louder, signaling that you were closely approaching your orgasm. “F-fuck I’m close” you gasped, gripping his shoulders tightly.

Hizashi's movements became rigid as he got closer to his climax “Damn me too.” He says, visibly trying to hold back from cumming inside you.

“A-ah pleas-e cum inside me, I’m clo-” Your moans ripped through your throat, interrupting what you had to say. Throwing your head back as you cum hard, feeling Hizashi fill you up.

Panting noises fill the room as the both of you recover from the intense orgasm. Resting your head on his shoulder, he wraps his arms around you, “Dang, I didn’t know you had all that in you.” Hizashi says teasingly.

“I have a lot of things in me now.” You retorted, hitting him playfully, he laughed at your reply.

Today couldn’t have gone any better, it was the most perfect anniversary you could’ve asked for. You can’t wait for the next one.

Masterlist

[kayentokk]

He Will Always Be There

-Pairing; Geto Suguru x Fem! Reader

-Synopsis; Your classic best friend love story, where the boy watches the girl date asses and then finally confesses. 

-Contains; slow burn(?), kisses, cheating, fluff, mutual pinning(kinda), friends to lovers, hurt comfort, Suguru being fine asf

-wc; 2k

-A/N; Honestly idek where I pulled this one from. Prolly cuz of all the JJK stuff goin on rn, and I really wanted to try writing one of those cliche tropes lol. 

You were throwing a party, fun right? Yeah no, you didn’t think you’d have to constantly check on the overly drunk college students who would always just barely make it to the bathroom in time. You also didn’t think that while ushering one into the bathroom you’d find your boyfriend, and some girl making out.  

At first when you looked up and saw the scene you were confused, but then you remembered the drunk girl and you really didn’t want her to like in your apartment. So you shooed them out the way and lifted the toilet seat for her too…you know.

You grabbed a hair tie off of your counter and tied her hair back for her, because girlie rules 101, and then made your way into the living room which was basically just a crowded sea of drunk people. You were so zoned out that you didn’t even hear your boyf-ex-boyfriend talking to you the whole time. You only became conscious when he made a grab at your arm.

“Babe, come on you know it wasn’t like that we were just-“

“Drunk?”

“Yeah babe, I promise, she doesn’t even mean anything to me,” just then the girl emerged from the bathroom.

“Really? Because that’s not what you said the last three times,” and with that she walked off.

You chuckled, not even knowing how to react at this point. You decided you’d had enough of this party. Ignoring your ex’s insistent babbling, you grabbed the microphone from the people doing karaoke. 

“HEY! Everybody! Attention, Attention please.”

When the room got quiet you stood on the table, and said the one thing that makes all college students scatter from a party. 

“My parents are surprise visiting tonight, so everybody out! Take your empty cups and throw them away! Take Ubers don’t drunk drive, and take all the food and snacks you want!” You said while the heard of students rushed out the door with all the food and snacks they could. 

Efficient, you thought. When you got down from the table you immediately went to cleaning up, completely ignoring your ex, who was apparently still talking. You were only a little tipsy but couldn’t help feeling annoyed and still zoned out.

“Listen,” you said cutting him off. “I don’t need to hear your “explanation,” okay? It’s simple, I didn’t put out so you found it somewhere else.”

“No I swear that’s not how-“

“Can you just go?”

“Babe-“

At this point you were about to loose your shit, why couldn’t he just fucking leave? Just then, saving you from your troubles, your best friend emerged from the bathroom holding the drunk girl, who was puking in your toilet, up.

He stood tall and brooding, with his all black get up on, over your now ex, “Listen man, a word of advice, I’d leave before she goes apeshit on you,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

It took your ex a minute to take in the sight. A lean but muscular figure in black sweatpants and a hoodie that had neon purple accents on the front, a clean shaved face with perfectly slanted piercing black orbs, and beautiful long flowing hair. When he finally got his thoughts together he responded.  

“Who the fuck are you? I can handle my girl-“

Before he could even say anything in response, you started laughing. Everybody’s head turned to you, even the drunk girl, because you seriously couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Get. Out.” Was all you said after you caught your breath, and that time he got the hint.

“We’ll talk about it! I’ll text you,” he said not getting the blatant message that you didn’t want to talk and that you guys were done. 

Just before he walked out the door though, your friend handed him the drunk girl with a gruff, “Make sure she gets to her dorm asshat.”

After they left, you sighed and continued throwing the empty cans into the garbage bag, and after a minute of watching you incessantly clean your friend grabbed the broom and started sweeping the floor. 

He didn’t ask you what happened, because he saw, and he didn’t make you talk about it, you would tell him soon enough when you felt like it. There wasn’t any uncomfortable silence between the two of you either. You didn’t have to constantly worry about what he was thinking, you didn’t have to not be yourself, and you didn’t have to worry about him dropping you for the “next best thing.” 

You liked that, It was peaceful, and he knew it. Deep down he’d do anything you asked of him, just to keep you happy. He did have to admit though it was killing him that he didn’t punch that asshole ex of yours, same with all of your other exes. 

Ever since you were old enough to date, it was like the classic boy best friend story, he watched you date people who weren’t good enough for you, you guys broke up, he swooped in to comfort you. This time though, he could tell something was different, you didn’t show any sign that something was wrong. Maybe you weren’t that upset-

As soon as he paused sweeping to think he heard it. Over the clanking of the trash in the garbage bag you were holding, he heard it and it almost ripped him to shreds from the inside out. You were sobbing, your body softly shaking, and your chest heaving. He’s seen you cry before, and it always hurt some part of him deep down. 

He makes his was over to you, long strides full of urgency and worry. You almost didn’t notice he had left his spot in the kitchen until he took the trash bag from your hand and set it down. He tugged gently at your arm until you turned to face him. Your pretty eyes all puffy and red, your nose sniffling to find breaths, and your plump lips merged into a pout. Even while crying he thought you looked pretty. 

He pulled you into his body, hands engulfing your back, while you sobbed with your face squished into his hoodie. Somewhere along the way he had brought you into your bathroom and propped you up onto the counter. 

Finally pulling your head out of his chest you noticed the tear stains and shiny lip gloss that was smeared into it. 

“M’sorry Sugu, your hoodie s’all messed up now.”

He just gave you a slight smile while grabbing the makeup wipes from the cabinet behind your head. 

God, he must think you’re so pathetic, constantly having to clean up after you and always having to reassure you. That must get so tiring, especially because you’re constantly dating fuck-boys who don’t really care about you and when those relationships end…well, this happens. 

You’re slightly tipsy when you ask, so you’ll just blame it on the cheap liquor later but you really wanted to know, “Sugu, why are you still here?”

Because, that’s what friends are for.

“Because I was helping you clean,” he says feigning ignorance while wiping off the remnants of your smudged makeup.

“No like, like- here” you were getting frustrated, the words weren’t coming out correctly. He knew what you meant though. 

“Because,” he gruffly replied. 

I want to be here for you. 

“Because?”

I care about you.

“Because.”

I love you. 

“S’not and answer,” you said with a pout.

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s just not.”

A low rumble came from him then, and when you saw he was laughing at your response, you couldn’t help but laugh too. 

When he was done you hopped off the counter and walked into your room collapsing on your comfy carpet. Your arms and legs were spread out like a starfish, you looked silly.

“What are you doing?”

You didn’t respond, just scooted over and patted the spot next to you. He reluctantly laid down next to you. His arms propped up behind his head gazing up at your bedroom ceiling. It was pretty at night, because of the cute stars and constellations lighting your ceiling. 

After a while you broke the silence.

“Sugu?”

“Hm,” he grunted turning his head to face you.

“Promise you’ll always stay?” It felt like a stupid question. People break promises all the time, you knew that first handedly. So you’ll blame it on being tipsy again. 

To Geto the answer to that question was obvious, of course.

“Who else would help you clean up after all these ragers you’re throwing?” He said in a joking manner. 

You wanted to throw a fit about how that’s not what you meant and he knew it, but in a way you knew what he meant. So you were content with his answer. 

“The stars on my ceiling are dimming, you’ll have to help me replace them again, it’s such a shame because they’re so pretty.”

“Yeah, such a shame, so pretty.” 

You turned onto your side facing him, but he was already looking at you. You swear you saw his eyes sparkle at that moment, and you started into a fit of laughter. 

“What? I got somethin’ on m’face?”

“No,” you said through giggles and when you finally calmed down you said without thought, “I love you.”

You shocked yourself, maybe you weren’t just tipsy, maybe you were more drunk than you thought. A slight gasp came out of your mouth and your hands immediately went to cover it. Geto’s pupils dilated and an unreadable look crossed his face.

With the countless thoughts running through your head, the main one was why the fuck did I just say that? You can’t exactly blame this one on being drunk. 

You hurriedly sat up and turned to him, “I-I mean in like a best friend way you know? Cuz like friends say that to each other, of-of course I don’t expect you to say it back or anything like that I just was-,” you nervously rambled on. 

When you stopped, you noticed he too was sitting up now and way closer to you. When did that happen? 

You cleared your throat and just gave a final, “I’m sorry-“ but before you could finish his lips were on yours. 

It was a slow, tender kiss. His soft lips on your plump previously glossed ones was the perfect mix. When he pulled away you almost followed, holding back a whine from coming out. 

“I love you too.”

Was all he said and you sat, one again, in comfortable silence. Just gazing at each other. You don’t know why you’ve never noticed before, the way he looked at you, but it’s apparent now. It’s apparent, and you couldn’t be happier. 

Except for now, all the thoughts are going through your head. What happens to us after this? What if we break up- well are we actually together? Does this ruin our friendship?

He could tell that lots of things were running through your head because you facial expression changed into one of worry. Trying to calm you he reached his hand up to your face and stroked your cheek. Your gaze was now back on him and you thoughts had ceased.

“What are you worried about?” He asked, quietly as if he couldn’t be any louder.

“Well, you’ve always been my friend….and now-,” you sighed frustrated. “Now, everything’s different..”

“Do you regret me kissing-“

“No! No, it’s just- most of my past relationships haven’t been the best…you’ve seen. Our relationship was the only one I could always count on…don’t you think it would be different?”

“Hmm,” he said pondering, “I see.”

“But- but I still-“

“I know,” he said removing his hand from the side of your face. “It would change our relationship quite a bit…”

He didn’t know what to say, all he could think was shit he fucked this up. He didn’t want to come on too strong, and he definitely didn’t want your relationship to be tarnished just because you started dating, did you even want to date him?

You quickly stopped his thoughts by saying, “but I want to try.” 

The silence was back, but this time it was full of relief. You guys didn’t know what the relationship would bring, or if it would even turn out the way you hoped, but you knew one thing. That Suguru would always be there. 

@/cafekitsune for the divider

[ev-writes-things]

writing patterns

rules: share the first line of your last ten published works or as many as you are able and see if there are any patterns!

thank u for the tag @littencloud9 !! C:

tagging (no pressure) @caeprus, @chrysofightme, and @habizuh-studios <3

- [T] every night i’m talking to the moon || link click, shiguang, 6.6k words (ongoing)

Cheng Xiaoshi has the same dream almost every night.

- [T] all the ghosts we’ve left behind || alien stage, mizisua, ~1k words

“What do you know about ghosts?”

- [T] little words || link click, shiguang, 1.9k words

If there’s one thing Cheng Xiaoshi knows for certain, it’s that the scar will never fade.

- [T] did we kiss ‘cause it was dark? || link click, shiguang, 10.8k words

“Karaoke time!”

- [T] is it a shame if you let it go so easily? || link click, shiguang, 3k words

The first time Lu Guang dives back, bringing his blood-stained hands together in a soundless clap, he feels it in his bones. This is the right thing to do, he’s sure of it.

- [G] you & me || link click, shiguang, 1.5k words

Cheng Xiaoshi heaves an impressive sigh when he reappears into the present, toppling backwards onto the couch. Lu Guang makes no move to stop him.

- [T] if i could tell you || tgcf, fengqing, 2.8k words

Feng Xin can’t stop staring at Dianxia’s new servant.

- [G] little bird || genshin impact, haikaveh, 3.8k words

Alhaitham is confused.

- [T] into the bed || link click, shiguang, 700 words

A shot rings out in the dark. For a beat, time stands still.

- [T] think i’m falling (in love?) || tgcf, fengqing, 8.1k words

“What. The. Fuck?”

i have identified zero patterns helppp it’s either a flashback, a quote, or setting up a scene. so like. nothing interesting HAUSHDJS it was fun tho!

[talk-danmei-to-me]

(hello @nanyangjj here) care to write a little something set in modern au/college students ximang? 🤭

Always <3

How's about a little implied family drama on this fine Friday night:

‘Thanks for doing this,’ Mo Xi said, awkwardly opening the door for Murong Mengze.

She smiled back at him, obviously pleased by the gesture. Together, they walked into the function room to be greeted by the other billionaires. The whole scenario made Mo Xi feel unwell. He hated the false hope he gave her, but despite racking his brains for the better part of the morning, he’d failed to come up with a better solution. Whatever his mother demanded, Mo Xi provided. Especially now, when he was dependent on her to pay the rent of his one bedroomed apartment. If he lost that, he would have no where to meet with Gu Mang. It wasn’t like he could visit him in his dorm at leisure. And so, he asked Murong Mengze to be his date.

Scanning the function room, Mo Xi recognised the old money faces amongst company executives. His mother really had outdone herself this time. As a student, he failed to see what he brought to the table, apart from proving that it was absolutely fine the woman who gave birth to him married his uncle a month after his father died. Grief did strange things to people after all. He saw his mother chatting animatedly with the head of the Murong family and hoped she wasn’t trying to arrange their marriage. Though no one could say she didn’t fit in. Dressed in a red silk dress with her hair pinned up so neatly, she was practically in camouflage amongst the other wives. Her make up was subtle and her demeanour demure. Murong Mengze would never offend anyone. She would smile in all the right places and delight everyone around them with proper tales. For many men in Mo Xi’s position, she was perfect. If anything, that made Mo Xi want her even less.

He needed a drink, something to take the edge off the stifling atmosphere. He noticed a waiter with a tray of champagne and subtly moved away whilst Murong Mengze was deep in conversation with the wife of a CEO for a franchise of karaoke bars. As he moved towards the drinks, Mo Xi glanced at his watch and tried to figure out if Gu Mang would still be awake once he was finally free. It would be too late for him to visit, but at least they could speak. He wanted to hear his voice. Lost in thought, Mo Xi picked up the nearest glass of champagne and proceeded to down it.

He almost choked when the waiter beside him spoke.

‘She’s very pretty,’ Gu Mang said, eyes fixed on Murong Mengze.

Mo Xi’s voice was hoarse from coughing and his face and eyes red as he forced out his response, ‘I hadn’t noticed.’

‘Bullshit,’ Gu Mang smiled and handed him another glass of champagne, ‘You should marry her.’

‘Fuck off,’ Mo Xi said. As he sipped the drink Gu Mang offered, he scanned the room to make sure nobody noticed the scene he’d caused and more importantly the fact that the son of the host was currently engaged in a conversation with the staff. Seeing Gu Mang had improved his mood immensely.

‘I was going to call you when I got home.’

Gu Mang hummed beside him, ‘How come you didn’t invite me?’

His words cut at Mo Xi like a knife. It hurt that he couldn’t invite Gu Mang, but what would he say? That they were classmates? That he wanted to show the scholarship student how the other half live? That they were working on a project together that required Gu Mang to remain beside Mo Xi for all the public events he was required to attend. At times, Gu Mang resembled an untamed beast, if the mood took him, there was no accounting for the carnage he could cause, it was part of the reason Mo Xi loved him so much.

‘Relax, Princ-’ Gu Mang cut himself off. Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. He cleared his throat and looked down at the floor, tapping his foot against pristine floor tiles before he finished his thought, ‘I was joking.’

‘What time is your break?’ Mo Xi asked, suddenly feeling the ice-cold gaze of his mother upon him. He glanced in her direction and she gestured for him to join her. Immediately.

Gu Mang answered, blissfully unaware, ‘Half 10. No one needs serving when they’re supposed to be listening to speeches. Although, I only get fifteen minutes, I doubt anyone’s going to have wrapped things up by then, why?’

‘Meet me in the bathroom, the one next to the kitchen.’ Mo Xi helped himself to another glass of champagne, ‘I better go and show my face to my mother.’  

Mo Xi proceeded to fixate on his watch for the rest of the evening. Unable to concentrate on a single conversation that took place around him. All he craved was the fifteen minutes he was about to spend with Gu Mang. The precious moments that would make tonight’s ordeal worth it. He arrived at the designated bathroom first and hid himself away in one of the cubicles. The proximity of the bathroom to the kitchen ensured privacy. Nobody wanted to go home smelling like friend beef and onions after all. Plus, it enabled them to spend Gu Mang’s full fifteen minute break together. The door opened and Mo Xi instantly recognised Gu Mang’s footsteps. He swung the cubicle door open and pulled the other man inside. Mo Xi sat on the toilet seat and Gu Mang straddled his lap.

Wrapping his arms around his shoulders, Gu Mang placed a tentative kiss against Mo Xi’s ear before whispering, ‘Does your girlfriend know how eager you are for this poor boy’s hole?’

Mo Xi turned his head, capturing Gu Mang’s lips in a punishing kiss, designed to silence him. Their kiss echoed around the empty bathroom. If anyone did come in, they would be left with no doubts about the kind of activity taking place behind the closed door, but Mo Xi felt no shame. Instead, he nipped Gu Mang’s bottom lip as he pulled away, ‘I told you, she’s not my girlfriend. Just a friend helping me out a bit.’

Gu Mang rolled his hips against Mo Xi’s rapidly hardening length, ‘And what is this friend doing? Am I also helping you out?’

His teasing tone was enough to drive Mo Xi to madness, he wanted to pin him against the cubicle door and fuck him until those beautiful tears began to spill from his wicked eyes. His hands lazily roved his back, as though they had all the time in the world. Mo Xi rested his head on Gu Mang’s shoulder, eyeing the door that featured in his fantasies as though it taunted him on purpose. He didn’t want to check his watch and find out their fifteen minutes were down to seven or worse, three. Subconsciously, Mo Xi held Gu Mang a little tighter. Realistically, whatever time they had in that tiny cubicle would never be enough to sate either of them. Plus, Gu Mang was working, he couldn’t return to the kitchen a tearful dishevelled wreck stinking of come. Mo Xi would never do anything that might get Gu Mang in trouble with either the University or an employer. He wanted to keep him safe and make him happy.

‘Come home to me tonight?’ Mo Xi planted an open-mouthed kiss against the juncture of Gu Mang’s neck for good measure, though he remained careful not to mark him.

For a moment, Gu Mang’s entire body stiffened, ‘Will you make me breakfast?’

Mo Xi nodded, ‘Whatever you want.’

[pupkashi]

karaoke

in which drunk you decided to love on genma (much to a certain jonins dismay)

a/n: hi hi friends ! thank u sm for this amazing request !! this was so fun to write hehe also combined it with this prompt ! hope you guys enjoy !!! <33

wordcount: 3,117

masterlist

warnings: mentions of alcohol, sort of modern au? mentions of taking selfies and videos, mentions of vomit and throwing up

“it’ll be so much fun please kakashi!” Asuma and Gai pleaded with their much more stoic friend.

“i don’t see why i should go out when i can be in bed early instead” he scoffed, continuing to walk with his eyes glued to his book.

“y/n will be there” gai smiled, grinning widely as he watched his beloved rival stop in his tracks, finally peeling his eyes from his book and looking at the pair.

“okay?” he’s trying his best to act like he doesn’t care much, surely they can’t tell he has a thing for you. “that doesn’t change anything” he looks down at his book, not processing a single word.

“guess they’ll spend the night talking with genma then” asuma shrugs, “let’s go Gai, i don’t think we’re gonna convince him tonight” Gai only sighs, the two giggle to each other as soon as they’re out of earshot of their silver haired friend.

“it doesn’t matter” kakashi mumbles to himself over and over again, ‘they can’t manipulate me like this, im better than that’ he assures himself, taking his usual ninja gear off and heading into the shower. he’s picking out a plain long sleeve and some pants to wear and heading out the door to the karaoke spot he knew they’d be at, ‘im doing this because i want to spend time with friends, that’s all’ he tells himself, knowing damn well he’s lying.

“kakashi! glad you could make it” Gai is smiling, embracing the much less affectionate shinobi and dragging him by the arm into the room they rented out, “the first round of shots have been ordered so i hope you’re ready to drink” he grinned widely.

kakashi’s scanning the room, waving hello to everybody, his heart dropping a bit when he noticed you weren’t even there. it’s 10 minutes later and two terribly sung songs by genma and asuma when he’s about to leave, the door opening stops him from getting up.

“sorry I’m late! i got home and then there was this problem with my sink and then i had to take my dog out and he ended up getting out and- anyway!” you sigh with a smile, hugging everybody and saying hello.

“kakashi! hi” you smile, holding your hand out for him to shake, gai had told you how he didn’t really like physical affection.

“hi” he replied, glad his mask covered the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

“looks like every seats taken, can i sit here?” you point to the open seat next to him, he nods, scooting over to give you a bit more room on the couch. “thank you,” you reply, about to say something else when you’re interrupted by genma and kurenai.

“y/n! you missed the first round of shots you’ve gotta drink double now!” Kurenai smiles widely, you’re about to protest when genma settles in between kakashi and you, already placing the shot in your hand, another in his before counting down.

“ready? cheers!” he smiles, the two of you throwing the shot back, genma hissing and groaning at the bitter taste as you place the two empty glasses down.

“alright champ no need to make a scene” you laugh, watching as genma chases the shot with some water.

“you have another one left! don’t think i forgot” he smiled, handing you another glass, you only looked at kakashi, saying a small ‘cheers’ before downing the shot.

kakashi smiled as your face scrunches up, sticking your tongue out a bit. genma’s face is already dusted pink, he’s getting up quickly, saying something along the lines of ‘round three’ but the room is filled with kurenai and anko’s terrible rendition of their favorite shows opening theme so you couldn’t be too sure.

“I’m surprised you came,” you spoke to kakashi, noticing how closed off he’d been the entire time, “a good surprised” you add on.

kakashi smiled lightly, “Gai and Asuma talked me into it” he chuckled, watching his friends grab handfuls of shot glasses and running towards your direction.

“kakashi! you’re such a heavy weight you have to take all these shots okay!” Asuma is smiling, shoving them towards his friend, you’re covering your mouth and stifling your laughter, feeling the effects of the two shots from earlier.

“y/n! take one with kakashi!” Gai shouts, the shot in his hand quickly finding its way to you.

“what do ya say copy ninja? wanna take some shots together?” there’s a small glint in your eye and kakashi can’t say no, he’s shrugging and grabbing the small glass.

“what the hell” he mumbles, the two of you clinking glasses before downing the shot.

“how the fuck do you manage to pull your mask up and down so quickly” you giggle, genuinely puzzled at the speed of the jonin.

“i actually-”

“y/n singing time!” Genma stops kakashi from continuing, grabbing your arm and pulling you to the microphones

“sorry!” you call out, not realizing how tipsy you were until you stood up and had to keep up with genma’s much larger strides.

“what song should we do? let’s do a love song!” genma giggles, the two of you taking yet another shot before the song begins playing.

kakashi is watching you intently, not bothering to hide the smile on his lips, it was hidden behind his mask anyway. the smile on his lips almost immediately drops when genma is grabbing you by the waist, holding you close to him during the bridge, causing you to giggle into the mic and miss your next line in the song.

he stopped paying attention after that, taking another shot and acting like he was part of the conversation Gai was having with the other ninjas around him.

“okay guys we have to take a selfie!” your voice pulls him away from staring at the all too interesting carpet, your face is flushed as you pull your phone out, smoothing your hair out a bit before standing closer to kakashi.

“everyone say cheese!” you burst into giggles as everyone drunkenly sings ‘cheeeeese’ for the camera, taking multiple before sitting on the couch, closer to kakashi than before.

“kakashi! hi!” you’re smiling widely at him and he’s returning the favor, waving at you.

“oh my god we have no pictures together! we need a selfie right now!” you giggle, scooting closer and snapping a couple pictures with him.

“gosh you always look so good, did you know that?” kakashi’s heart is thumping hard in his ears, his face is burning and it’s not because of the alcohol.

“you do too” is all he can manage out before genma once again sits next to you, easily draping his arm over your shoulders.

“hey sweet thing what are you doing here?” he smiles, you giggle at his antics, letting yourself melt into his side, your hand rest on his chest.

“long day at the office, and you Mr. Genma?” you tease and he sighs dramatically, “looking for love, could you be the one for me?” he’s looking at you a little too sweetly for kakashi’s liking.

the silver haired jonin is clenching his fist around the glass cup of water, his jaw clenched and he’s certain another second of whatever is happening next to him will drive him to insanity.

you were clueless that the man you’d been pining for was seconds away from prying you from genma. your head rested on his chest, making small talk with your friend and giggling at every other thing, laughing loudly at his jokes and smacking his chest.

Gai is the first to notice kakashi’s sudden surge in jealousy, coughing and ‘accidentally’ spilling his water on genma’s thigh.

“sorry! here let’s go get some towels to dry it” Gai smiled kindly, and soon enough your cuddle buddy was gone, leaving you and kakashi on the couch alone.

“are you two like,” kakashi pauses, “are you like a thing?” he’s clearing his throat after he speaks, sitting a bit straighter while your intoxicated brain processes his words.

“me and genma? no! we’re friends, i think he has a thing for someone else though” you nod along to your own words, “no yeah I’m single” a slight pause, “looking” you say, trying to shut yourself up before you reveal more than you want to.

“oh that’s good” kakashi doesn’t want to admit how relieved he felt, like the weight on his shoulders had been lifted.

but then he felt an actual weight on his shoulders, not a metaphorical one. he’s frozen in place as your head balanced on his broad shoulders, giggling as you mumbled something he couldn’t hear.

“what?” he asked, leaning down a bit, “the rooms going so fast” you slurred, blinking before narrowing your eyes.

kakashi frowned, eyes widening as your head rolled off his shoulder, he caught you quickly, letting you settle your head on his chest, his arm wrapped around you.

“is this okay?” he asked, holding you steady as you nodded, “more than okay” you giggled, you were looking up at him as he nervously smiled, a bit tense from the sudden proximity.

“y’can relax kashi” you mumble, giggling at the nickname, your eyes suddenly going wide, “wait Gai said you don’t like physical affection, i can get off if you want” you mumble, making a move to sit up and away from the copy ninja.

“no no it’s okay” he smiles, holding you a bit tighter, “i like it if it’s you” you’re blushing and giggling at his words, twirling the small bunch of hair at the nape of his neck.

“you look real good with your hair down like this” you smile, fighting the urge to kiss the man you were cuddling with.

“maybe i should wear it like this more often if it means having you this close.” kakashi doesn’t know where this confidence is coming from, maybe it’s because part of him hopes you’d forget in the morning, but he also hopes you don’t. maybe it’s the couple shots he took that got him buzzed, giving him the courage to finally make a move.

“aw how come you’re cuddling with him now!” Genmas voice causes you to slowly move your head, the room still spinning as you see him stumbling and sitting on the couch next to you.

“i like cuddling with him! he’s great at it” you giggle, letting you head rest on kakashi’s chest again, your eyes fluttering closed.

genma can’t help but pout, mumbling something about how he knew this day would come.

it wasn’t long before everyone started saying their goodbyes, the ninjas going off in pairs of more drunk and least drunk to guide each other home, everyone making sure they’d text the group chat saying they got home safe and sound.

“you got ‘em?” asuma asked kakashi, who carried you in his arms, already dozed off.

“yeah I’ll be fine, what about you?” kakashi smiled as asuma struggled to keep Kurenai upright as she mumbled something about kissing him.

“think i can manage” he laughed, waving goodbye and thanking his friend for coming out.

it wasn’t for another couple minutes of walking that he realized he had no idea where you lived. you must’ve sensed his panic in your sleep because moments later you stirred awake, rubbing your eyes before smiling at the jonin.

“carrying me home like a real gentleman, are you?” kakashi blushed furiously, chuckling before letting you down gently.

“you sure you can walk?” he asked, keeping a hand on the small of your back to keep you steady.

“think so” you mumbled, walking a bit and stumbling, kakashi tightening his grip on your waist to keep you from falling over.

“is there a trash can around here?” you asked, panic filling your body before running as best you could and throwing up in the metal bin next to the bench.

kakashi rubbed your back, holding your hair and helping you sit and compose yourself.

“god this is not the impression i wanted to give you” you chuckled, kakashi furrowed his brows.

“what do you mean?” he asked, he felt a bit guilty asking, knowing you were more likely to tell him right now than if you were stone cold sober.

“i mean you’re this super cool, attractive jonin that I’ve been pining over for god knows how long and the chance i get to make you think i deserve your affection or some shit i go and get drunk and-” you motion to yourself, “this” you sigh, your eyes screwing shut as you become mor sober by the second.

the world is still spinning, you feel a second round of vomit coming up and the reality of your situation is hitting you like a ton of bricks.

“you don’t need to earn my affection, not now and not ever” he replies without missing a beat, he wants to look you in the eyes, but quickly abandons that idea as you hunch over and throw up again.

“you’re okay, I’m right here” he mumbles, rubbing your back as you continue to expel any contents in your stomach, groaning as you finally finish and sit back up, wiping your mouth with the bottom of your shirt.

“sorry” you mumble, kakashi shakes his head, “nothing to apologize for” he smiles, helping you up and letting you lead the way to your home.

when you finally get home you invite him in, partly for his peace of mind so he knows you aren’t gonna choke on your throw up. his racing mind stops when he sees you in your plaid pajama pants and shirt double your size, your teeth brushed and hair up.

“thank you for everything tonight” your words still slurred a bit as you hug him goodbye, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” he nods as he says goodbye, pausing for a second before turning around. his fingers are itching to pull his mask down, to place a kiss to your cheek.

maybe it’s because he knows you’re the one for him, maybe it’s because he’s always been head over heels for you since the moment he saw you. he doesn’t know what takes over him.

he’s pulling his mask down and placing a chaste kiss on your cheek, you hadn’t processed what happened, much less seen his face as he’s waving goodbye and walking out the door, “goodnight y/n,” his eyes crinkling as he speaks.

when you wake up the next morning you’re wishing the world would open up and swallow you whole. not only did you confess your feelings but you went and embarrassed yourself in front of him, that paired with the insane headache you had was enough for you to cover your entire body with your blanket, too afraid to check your messages.

if it weren’t for the knock on the door you probably would’ve fallen asleep again. with a sigh you’re making your way to the front door, assuming it was genma or another one of your friends you swing the door open, your hair still a mess and toothpaste in the corner of your mouth.

“hi” kakashi smiles, almost glowing from how perfect he looked, your eyes are wide as you realize the state that you’re in.

“kakashi! oh my god hi!” you move to the side to allow him in. “god you have to stop finding me at my worst moments i swear I’m better than this” you laugh softly, kakashi grins at you as you wipe your face and try to fix your hair.

“i brought some soup, i make it for Gai when he’s hungover, figured you might need it” you’re thanking whatever gods there were because you absolutely needed this.

“you didn’t have to” you smile, thanking him for the food and setting it on the counter.

it’s quiet for a second, the two of you just standing in silence before he speaks up, “do you remember anything? from last night?” you can hear the nervousness in his voice, it’s strange to hear that from him.

“yeah” you mumble, “but we can pretend like i never said anything and move on” you smile tightly, already feeling your hands growing cold and your heart breaking a bit.

“no!” Kakashi is quick to stop you, realizing how loud he’d been he apologizes softly before continuing, “i don’t want to just forget it” he mumbles, picking at his fingernails before looking at you.

“i like you, i think you’re amazing and seeing you all touchy with genma made me face my feelings for you” he breathed out quickly, “if you’d like to, I’d wanna give this a chance.”

his dark eyes are darting to your face, reading your expression as you look back at him. his silver hair is falling over his forehead, tickling his lashes a bit when he blinks.

a smile breaks onto your face after he finishes speaking, nodding your head before you can even say anything, “I’d love to” you reply, giggling and taking an tentative step towards the skilled jonin.

kakashi wastes no time in closing the space between you two, his hand finding his way to the back of you neck, his other one snaking around you waist and pulling you so that you’re chest to chest.

“is this okay?” he whispers, you nod, “more than okay” you smile, your eyes fluttering shut as your lips crashed onto his, moving together in sync.

when you both pull away you’re flustered messes, giggling when you make eye contact with him and he’s clearing his throat as you look at him again.

“the soups gonna get cold” he says, breaking the silence and causing the two of you to smile at each other and laugh.

“you wanna stay and eat together?” you ask, kakashi smiles, “wish i could, but I’ve got some horrible genin I was supposed to meet an hour ago” he smiles nervously and you gasp.

“oh my god i didn’t know you had to be somewhere sorry!” you apologize, he’s waving his hands infront of him.

“no no it’s fine, they don’t care much anyway” he smiles, taking a step closer to you and placing a kiss on your cheek before heading for the door. “would you wanna get dinner? around 6?” his voice wavers a bit and you’re smiling widely at him.

“sounds like a date” you reply, biting you lip as you wave goodbye to him.

the two of you were smiling like idiots, kakashi didn’t mind naruto and sakura’s scolding, waving them off and doing some light training, his only thought was you.

karaoke was fun, maybe he should’ve listened to his friends earlier, he thinks. maybe it’s a good thing you were a clingy affectionate drunk, especially when it’s him your clinging to.

[mazzystar24]

the edits once they go canon are going to be next level

(i also admittedly can’t wait to be petty too and comment on every single one of them going “look at this beautiful CANON ship” since apparently being canon is the only thing that makes a ship valid /j🤭🤭)

Our range🤩

we can be sobbing over edits while being petty 😭😭

No fr tho the minute gay Eddie or buddie are canon I’m giggling and making jokes like no tomorrow

I may not have the talent to make edits or fics or anything but I am a court jester at heart so I shall be making many many jokes

Back to the edits yesss I will personally be requiring:

My love mine all mine

Lover you shouldve come over (personally one of my ideal songs if the buddie confession/kiss required a soundtrack)

Paper rings

Lover

The alchemy

He could never love you (SHUT UP SHUT UP I GOTTA GO MAKE A POST OR ANNOY MY FIC WRITING FRIENDS ABOUT THIS ONE)

Until I found you (cos of the how could we ever just be friends)

We’re in love (boygenius l because it’s so underrrated and so unbelievably a buddie song - “we’re not swapping blood” “And I told you of your past lives, every man you've ever been It wasn't flattering But you listened like it mattered” “would you still love me if it turns out I’m insane I know what you’ll say but it helps to hear you say it anyway” “And I'll be feeling lonely So I'll walk to karaoke” “Who looks like hell and asks for help And if you do, I'll know it's you” “I can't imagine you without the same smile in your eyes There is something about you That I will always recognize And if you don't remember I will try to remind you”

Keep me warm - Ida Marie (also one of my buddie ideal soundtracks and also criminally underrated as a buddie song)

Anything from hozier’s discography that man can scream into the mic and it’d be the most romantic shit you’ve ever heard

Crack option: my best friend’s hot by the dollyrots (yes this was also my crack karaoke guess but listen I need this song to play around buck when in proximity to Eddie- whatta man scene 2.0 if you may)

Truly truly - grant Lee buffalo

So highschool - listen Eddie officially does know how to ball and you can’t tell me walking encylopedia has full ass bookshelves in the loft buck doesnt in fact know Aristotle - plus y’all already know they will have no sense of decorum (yes this is about the lyrics jk jk)

Lucky- Jason mraz, colbie caillat (I don’t even particularly listen to this song but “lucky I’m in love with my best friend lucky to have been where I’ve been lucky to be coming home again they don’t know how long it takes waiting for a love like this”)

Nothing- Bruno major (CMON THE VIDEO GAMES AND THE DOMESTICITY IT ALL SO BUDDIE)

Oh god you asked for none of this but you’re getting these songs 😭😭 sorry babe you should know I’ll take a simple ask and go on and on😔💔💔💔💔