#if there is a fic youve been wanting to ramble about or share this is your moment

[incoming-wormhole]

Guys I'm gonna need your favourite Stargate fic recs

Any series, any ship, any themes, any length; don't hold anything back

[sharkneto]

hi!!!! I was rereading the shifting mirrors and holding it together since you finished joining together recently (it’s SO good, it’s so so SO good, your writing is always so well done and flows so well) and I had a couple questions. Sorry if this is weird - if you don’t want to answer them feel free to ignore this ask, I’m just curious!

1.) did you start writing joining together while you were still posting holding it together? a lot of the details I noticed in HIT were referenced in JT, and I was just kind of like ‘that’s a LOT of details to remember’ so I was wondering if you were working backwards !!

2.) have you ever thought about what happens at the end of HIT? do you think they would actually end up stopping the apocalypse, or would the commission try to come and correct them? I thought that was interesting - that the commission said they were done with five, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re done with the offshoot timeline ; if they hadn’t interfered prior, that would mean they were still on track for an apocalypse, right ? I like to speculate about this. with sheer strength of will I think that five would probably end up stopping it, mostly because he knows how to work through his rage rather than act on impulse again - and now he has the knowledge to try and connect the others so that viktor doesn’t feel so isolated.

3.) what was your favorite part of writing the story / what kept you motivated to keep it going ? I’ve started a couple chaptered fics, and then I get three or four chapters in and lose it completely.

I love, love, love the world youve created - I love the characters youve built and the personalities behind them. the dedication youve held on to to keep the series going is admirable; I can barely write 20k, much less hundreds of thousands of words. I was actually thinking of asking your permission to maybe write an offshoot of your offshoot (it might be the thing that gets me back into writing for tua) but idk if I’d have the imagination or creativity to make it nearly as compelling and fun as yours. Congratulations and great work on finishing it !! <333

this got long - feel free to ignore it if it’s overstepping or weird, lol !! I hope you’re doing well - have a great night, shark :)

Hey Toby! Glad you enjoyed it all so much and thanks for the kind words! It's a little surreal to have it done, JT has been a WIP almost as long as I've been into TUA.

I started writing JT before HIT. This whole series was supposed to be a Just For Me Fun Project while I rotted alone during the pandemic that I ended up sharing with permission from orsumfenix and encouragement from friends. I was a bit into JT, I think, when I started thinking about how fun it would be to get more siblings in here, and those musing became HIT. HIT got posted first because it had a lower barrier for entry, with more focus on the Hargreeves we know instead of OCs. So, because the stories were written more-or-less simultaneously, it was easy to reference one or set up something for the other. Working forwards and backwards, with the end of JT already written (in a rough draft) when I was writing HIT, so I knew where Rob, Sarah, and Number were coming off of at that point. (The tiny detail I'm most fond of is Allison in HIT noting that Number broke his nose at some point, and then in JT we get to see the stupid scenario in which he broke his nose.)

(rest under a readmore because I ramble)

I do have thoughts on what happens after HIT! More of a time jump, to Number's Apocalypse Week, and I've got words in a WIP started about that (and a few snips shared in my snip tag, although some I think I've changed some of the details, now). It goes... less smoothly than it should, for a guy who has (almost) all the details he needs. If motivation continues, I'll share that eventually. If it doesn't, I'll word-vomit an outline so at least people who are interested can know how it goes down. I don't see the Commission coming back - the people obsessed with Five are dead, and the organization is done with him. They don't have the resources to spare to keep going after him, so at least in Five and Number's timelines, they're out of the Commission's scope.

What kept me going was a combo of things. 2020-2022ish, I had a fuckton of time. I only worked three days a week because of covid protocols, I couldn't go anywhere because of covid, and I couldn't see anyone because of covid. I had four days a week to fill, and a lot of that time got filled with writing - all of HIT and the first draft of JT happened during this time, plus all the other fics I published throughout that time. What kept me going is that I was having a ton of fun writing and fun interacting with other people about my fics. Love, love, love talking about them (so never apologize for an ask like this, every fic writer is begging for an excuse to ramble like this). I liked thinking about the characters, thinking about Number doing mundane things I was doing made them more interesting, I liked thinking about Rob and Sarah's little romcom life, and I'm fascinated by Five's whole deal. My favorite part of writing these is Five (both versions of him) - thinking about him and how he'd react to x or y, how others react to him. I love that, at his core, he's kind of a loser. I love what an incredible vehicle for grief he is. He's a character of all time for me.

How to keep going, I don't have an easy answer for it. Some people outline, so they have the skeleton of what they're doing and where they're going. I'm not one of those people, I have an idea of the general shape and trajectory of the story and go from there, splitting up chapters as needed. I think it's important to not force it, or the writer's block gets worse and then you're stressed about writing instead of having fun with it, and that's no good - the point is to have fun. If you run out of steam, you run out of steam and you have to take a six-month hiatus until life calms down and you have words again (as a hypothetical example). Don't be afraid to poke at other ideas even if you have a giant fic unfinished. For having 25 fics on AO3, I have 35 other WIP files on my computer. Some of them have a couple hundred words, some have tens of thousands of words, some of them I'll come back to finish, some of them I won't. Such is life - some ideas have legs, others don't. I don't set out thinking "Oh this fic is going to be 50k words with 10 chapters". I just write until it feels done; sometimes that's 2k words, sometimes it's almost 200k words. The point I'm trying to make, here, is that we're all just fucking around having fun, and words flow easier when I'm remembering that and not stressing about being done or trying to finish for a self-imposed deadline. You've got it :)

Feel free to write in my little world! Would love to see what others are thinking about, what stuck with them. Just give me (and orsumfenix, if you use Number) a shoutout if you share it! And don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you've got great ideas and the chops to write them out. Don't compare yourself to me; you might write in a world I helped shape, but you've got your own voice and style to give it. I, for one (if you end up writing and sharing it), would love to hear your version of it all :)

[luvnami]

hi Ai!! I wanted to ask if you could yap about your streamer!sanemi fic >u< I'd love to hear what you have in mind for it, whatever you want to share!

HIIIIIIII ZEEEEEEEEEEE oh my god meow ok im gonna put it under the cut cause its a lot

i read a poem on tiktok by @/whispersintheabyss (its their yin and yang poem, day 20/21). its originally a mlm poem but the tldr is that the protag goes to a diner bc their mom set up a date for them, but a random person keeps the protag company while their date is late. eventually the protag and person fall in love (it's a lot more than this, but this is just a brief overview)

ive been talking with my friends about dating and life recently, especially since one of my friends is feeling really pressured by her parents to find a partner. ive had my own talks with my mom, and that whole topic abt love and marriage and dating feels very... heavy and stressful. ive also been struggling with direction in life (no college, no job), so i wanted to write smth that people could relate to! facing all these big decisions and feeling like youve fallen short of something you couldve been. im rambling a bit, but i promise ill get to the streamer part soon ><

i kind of want to emulate the whole 'arranged date' and 'run in with a stranger' thing with reader and sanemi, where streamer!sanemi feels bad watching reader wait for their date. i was also thinking of maybe reader being a casual viewer of sanemi's streams, so they recognise him and kind of laugh at the coincidences. i want them to find comfort in each other, e.g. late nights where reader can't sleep and they watch sanemi's streams to feel less lonely, or sanemi is feeling overwhelmed with the need to perform on stream so they feel relaxed being just himself around the reader

maybe i'll throw in a bit of streamer drama... i've been around these sorts of social circles so i have a fair idea of what happens (LOL)... it's probably gonna be slowburn (im sorry im such a sucker for exploring the developing dynamics of a relationship), i really want to emphasise reader's struggle to get their life back 'together' and the strains of having a viewer become more than just a face in the crowd for sanemi

this is just a huge thought so idk if i'll actually have the strength to do it... im already running out of steam for office romcom (though i swear its just the next arc that's hard to write) buttttttt i'll do my best!!!! i wanted to write a whole bunch of fics that would fit in my 'in every universe' series. i realised i never really explained, but i wanted to write about how sanemi never prioritises his own happiness in the canon timeline. its always his family, genya, masachika, never himself in the front seat. so, every fic under the series is supposed to be a separate timeline where sanemi finds his own happiness and soulmate :3 including office romcom, including this streamer fic, and a whole bunch of other one shots i have planned

[shartingan]

apologies if this is kinda out of left field but what is your current opinion on ao3? me personally i do like to read and write fic on it due to the tagging system and other aspects but the amount of whack shit makes me uncomfortable and I do wish you could report harmful content easily (I think you can now but it's a bit of a process)

sorry this took so long to answer! i had to finish graduating college 😔 i tend not to think about ao3 too much or too in depth, and i don't really get involved in the discourse on this site about it. please take everything i say with a grain of salt because im uninformed and not really looking to involve myself more in this discourse! but i will gladly answer this ask with the information i do have because i think youre starting an interesting conversation and i like to talk ( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧! feel free to hmu i dms, anon.

under read more because i started to ramble a bit. tldr please stop donating to ao3 and donate to one of these vetted palestinian fundraisers instead, especially for eid

personally i agree with all that youve said about ao3 in your ask already. i wont get on a soapbox and moralize about fanfiction and stuff like that because, again, i really dont care, but also i think it is really neat to have these spaces where people can safely interact with IPs in a transformative way and share their works with others without the threat of legal action. that's not ao3s doing, but it does provide a hub for people to publish without ever running into the treat of legal action. and, like you said, the tagging system makes it really easy to sort through fics and find what you like vs. dislike.

my main problems with ao3 come from its mismanagement, and the fact that it really has no competitors. ive been on ao3 since 2015, and i think the only significant change i can remember in the 9 years ive used it was the fact that they added the ability to filter out tags along with filtering in some. that's literally it. there could definitely have been some significant behind the scenes additions im unaware of, but from a users point of view, there has only been 1 update in 9 years that has majorly impacted the way i use the site. that seems like extreme mismanagement to me, especially since ao3 manages to meet and then significantly past all of their donation goals that they run pretty frequently. it seems like ao3 is making a lot of money which isn't being put into improving the site in any significant way. ao3 has been a site since 2008, its making a lot of money, and has a huge base of donors and volunteers, but it's still in beta? that seems like major mismanagement to me. again, this is just me speaking as a layperson not involved in the site itself.

also, it's pretty much become the only site that you can read fanfic on. there are sparse communities on tumblr, ff.net, and wattpad, but they're definitely a lot smaller and spread out. ao3 is the biggest and most centralized place for posting and reading fanfiction on the internet, meaning it virtually has no competition, and there's no alternatives that offer the same scale or quality. despite all that, it has almost no internal user moderation, and ao3 has actively been resistant to implementing those kinds of changes. that has resulted primarily in users of color getting targeted and attacked by racists. harassment is easy on ao3, and people can easily abuse the tagging system to do whatever they like. there's not even a perma-block tag feature, which is the first thing i would've implemented with the filter out feature. like you said, anon, if they're even implementing these changes, they're implementing them slowly, and behind a convoluted multi-step process. there's still little to no internal moderation or blocking system, which is just incredibly irresponsible.

ao3 almost has a monopoly on fanfiction on the internet, which means that it can kind of just do whatever, and no matter the gripes it knows people will keep coming back if they want fanfic because there's no alternative. and people keep chucking money at it because, again, its a hub for people to post and read fanfic without ever running into the threat of legal action because the website provides a safe, transformative works shield for authors. it's just insane how mismanaged the site is, but people keep giving it money despite that, so there's no real incentive for OTW to change anything or put in any effort. HOW IS IT STILL IN BETA. ITS BEEN 16 YEARS AND THEY'VE MADE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS. MINECRAFT CLASSIC WAS LAUNCHED IN 2009 AND THEY MOVED THROUGH BETA TO ALPHA TO A FULL LAUNCH AND THEN HUNDREDS OF UPDATES IN THE SAME TIME FRAME AND WITH A SMALLER TEAM AND FUNDS, INITIALLY😭😭😭 that's just insane to me, there's definitely something weird behind the scenes, how can they be this bad at site management, it's gotta be deliberate or something.

anyway, please stop donating to ao3 and donate to one of these vetted palestinian fundraisers instead, especially for eid

[castlebyersafterdark]

i have a bit of an odd q and as your so insightful i wonder what you might have to say. i have been reading the fic you recommended on poly couples (the orgy one?) and its interesting so far cos i have never been into that but im open minded and the fic seems to explore these viewpoints so you can learn more about the culture. i havent finished it yet but i hope mike's jealousy gets explored more in a healthy way, like being able to talk about it, letting jealousy exist as an emotion but im hoping they dont turn it into a kink or something, where unchecked jealousy is allowed to roam free and hurt people.

so anyway it made me think of something youv'e said about how sex can be casual and fun but also sacred and deep if you want it to, and i think this has often been how i've butted heads with people about love and sex in my life (and probs on byler spicy tumblr too lbr). i recently found out im a HSP and apparently that means that sensitive people like me see sex as a more otherworldly, magical and kind of awe-inspiring thing instead of it just being a part of your day or a bit of fun lol. i always felt self-conscious and wished i could be more casual with sex and relationships, because its hard to explain this abstract thing of sex being elusive and inexplicable. i dont mean in a spiritual or religious way and i dont mean it shouldnt be casual either, but rather its sort of like souls... in that humans will never really understand it? like, emotionally. and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?

like, without art and beauty and the sublime and all this magic thats beyond like human comphrension, life is just a series of work eat sleep have sex laugh a bit see your friends see your kids grow bla bla. it's like, where's the magic? why is sex not this magical mystery for them?

but im also realising that some people may never see sex this way so they perhaps dont experience the super-magical highs that HSP people can feel (as well as the super low lows, so it's swings and roundabouts). like, apparently the neuron connections are just more intensified, so i can cry or get totally washed away in a song or a moment of beauty or whatever it may be, nuance, etc... its a hard thing to talk about because it sounds like it's offending non-HSP people but i suppose HSP people have been shunned in society (urban planning and society isnt made for them, too hectic and harsh and competitive etc), so i don't mind too much. there's great research on it that i'm trying to do more of to understand. but reading that fic has really made me think wow... sex is so different for everyone, that its kind of mad we all talk about it like its one experience we all share. i guess the physicality is but the emotional experience must be different for everyone. just like love perhaps! and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

Gosh I'm flattered you consider my ramblings insightful so thank you!! Thoughts under the cut due to my somewhat conflicted hypocrisy of wanting/not wanting to talk about my life hahaha:

First about that fic - which I absolutely adored. I think it really struck me less on the poly/exploratory group sex aspect of it (super engaging and interesting of course) and more on the portrayal of Will??? I toe the line between wanting to get too personal and staying zipped about me too much, but why not? Fuck it. Literally no where else do I really talk about myself online, I've always been hesitant for some reason. I feel comfortable here. Anyway, that story was a fascinating look into a lifestyle so unlike anything I've known and also not quite the details of Will's life but his personality in that fic was super relatable. His perception of himself and how others perceived him. The whole emotional arc of how he wished within that story of having Mike in high school and ooooh that just struck me in this ache I also know intrinsically. I recommend that fic so highly. Ughh. Anyway. Back to to the other things!

It's always interesting learning about different people's experiences and viewpoints on sex and what it means for them. And it can mean different things to the same person over a course of a lifetime. Like - I've never been poly, but there was a time in my life where sex was solely about fun and the physical feelings, you're young and on your own and freedom can be positive and negative. To each their own, I support everyone's journeys! And there's no correct way to have a specific lifestyle - you just learn what is/isn't for you. I'm glad I had a curious, exploratory phase. Learned a lot about myself. The good and the bad. I'll leave it there. Hook-up culture ended up not for me. So, maybe you're onto something. It's nothing I've honestly ever looked into (admittedly, I never knew this was a thing, HSP as you've described it as like a whole school of thought and personality type? I'm going to research at some point, I'm fascinated).

But, yes, I do subscribe to the mind that sex can just be a connection with a friend. It can be something you do with a friend because you're bored and that sounds interesting! Meaningless but still meaningful because you just... wanted to. Physical. Emotional. Both. Meant nothing. Meant everything. And I can understand the mindset I think you're describing, that it can be a heightened thing, something beyond what I've described. Maybe it has nothing to do with love per se what you're describing, but having found love and found it so sooo all-consuming actually? It can take on a whole other something that I'd never experienced before. And still, with that same person you have had these almost other-worldly experiences with - also with that same person sex can be none of that haha. Not cathartic, just physical. Casual. And all are valid!! So, there's insight into my mindset expanded? Where I understand what you're saying and that it really can be like what you're describing. Sex is just the most personal thing you can do, honestly. Hard to say why feelings and brains manifest in the way they do.

All of this to say for your big question: "and it made me wonder, for the people who don't see sex like this, what is that magical mysterious thing that makes life worth living?" I don't know!! I want to be cheesy and say my answer is love, and having found my person I want to go with that answer however corny, regardless of that aspect of a relationship - but that's just personal and not everyone finds that and it's still a worthwhile life lived without having that exact experience. I'm not sure anyone can answer this for anyone but themselves. It is very much of the soul. Hard to type out what your own is made of, I guess is my point.

and youve mentioned being intense and imaginative about your phases and getting into fictional characters etc, so i wonder if lots of people in fandom, or you perhaps, identify as Highly sensitive and thats why we are all so intensely moved by byler, art, music, etc???

This has been such an interesting message because it's just really fascinating, this read of me, not to sound self-absorbed but I'm so intrigued about this personality stuff you've now beamed into my awareness. What you've described feels very familiar, maybe a little less intense and the sex stuff maybe doesn't correlate 1:1 but I am the kind of person who has always gotten a little too caught up in imagination and fantasy and fiction. And not that it's a bad thing, but it's definitely intense. I just get lost in my own head and into shows and books and movies. Always have. Maybe its a hyper sensitivity thing. I'm going to have to read up.

[charliesinfern0]

SO SO SO SUPER COOL. i first saw your artwork back in 2022 [i think…!?]?? your ososan stuff! and i thought your artstyle was so super cute and unique that when you started posting it again in 2023 i recognized it off the bat haha. i look at everything outside of ososan too now and i find it all very fun! we have a lot of overlap in other interests but its also been so cool to see things i have only thought of getting into without ever taking the leap LIKE CATS!!! I REALLY LIKE SEEING POSTS ABOUT CATS!! its all very interesting to me!! i like seeing you indulge so much. its fun seeing blogs that are so obviously and beautifully collections of things that person is passionate about!! i would like to see even more of that. i VERY MUCH get being held back by a sense of being cringe/too much but i bet if you doubled down on everything without caring things would only become doubly cool! its also very fun to see someone who has a lot of continual passion for their fankids for homestuck?! admittedly my hs days were primarily like..4-3 years ago but back then it was really common for people to start msfpas or make ocs and then run out of steam really fast [its a strong time commitment and VERY OBVIOUSLY AS I WOULD KNOW interests change!!] but seeing how much youve stuck with page and the development of your art since making them is CRAZYYYYYYYYY and so inspirational!!! truly very awesome to see. LASTLY LASTLY LASTLY though i could ramble for a very long time I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOUR CAT CAFE FIC IDEA…and this is no like easy feat when it comes to ososan stuff to me im pretty picky lol. even if it never gets off the ground the stuff you laid out in that one ask w all the chapter titles and musical tie ins was so fun to read + A VERY GOOD MUSIC REC and im glad to have been able to peek into your head about it!! i was just thinking about it the other day :) anyway have a good one forever benrey infern0

OH MY GOSH THANK YOU?!?? THIS IS SO SWEET YOU'VE MADE MY DAY LIKE TEN TIMES BETTER NOW T_T im so happy that you enjoy my blog so much and im so happy you like my art and writing and ocs!!! ^_^ i have been nervous about being seen as annoying or too much for posting abt stuff i enjoy and ive been wanting to post about stuff that im worried people might find cringey,,, but your message is inspiring me to just go for it!!!! hehehe ^_^ i do have some new interests (and some new f/os!!!) that i want to share soon, and im also planning to just do a bunch of self ship and oc ask games and make a bunch of oc x canon art!! im super excited to do all that now :D

also its actually the 1 year anniversary of the official beginning of citrus!!! (though ive been working on it for a lot longer lololol) i'm planning on posting some art to celebrate in just a little bit, so keep an eye out for that! >_o

thank you again for all of your kind words!! knowing that there are people out there that enjoy me and my art makes it all worth it (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ) i hope you have a good one forever too anon!!!!!

and i hope you like the little collage of some of my fave things right now hehe ^_^

[siswritesyanderes]

Hey! Im rereading rule one and i felt awkward saying this in a comment but i just wanted to mention how much i really like your characterisation of the cullens and how youve chosen to write them. In general your writing is very well done and intriguing but the way youve chosen to go about some things is very fun. Its been about a year, maybe a year and a half since i last read rule one especially the earlier chapters and im at the point where nessie steals sadie's dog and im just like... Woah. Holy shit. Youve really nailed down the horror of nessie? Like u know its good if its making me go oh holy shit bc im pretty immune to a lot of horror centric things like this. Idk i guess i forgot just how horrifying you made nessies pov of things so it really punched me in the face in a good way. I really admire how youve gone about this fic in general tbh bc you have this sense of creeping horror that actually hits bc its not ignoring the bad elements of canon and the canons bad implications and ur actually confronting them head on in a realistic way while also not going overboard and bashing on canon? Idk its a really precarious balancing act youve got going on but its real inspiring to see how well u do it. What was your thought process for nessies characterisation like? Like how did u arrive at the point we see in the fic. Sorry if this is all over the place its 6 am and im just in awe and really enjoying re reading rule one and i thought itd be cool to let u know how much im enjoying ur writing choices! Ty for sharing your writing with us

Thank you so, so much! For the compliments and for the opportunity to ramble about this, lol.

I guess I just felt fascinated by the potential consequences of Renesmee growing physically at such an accelerated rate. In Breaking Dawn (and the Twilight Illustrated Guide), it's indicated that she has a complete understanding of what is said and done around her, but she still acts like a child. She's still a child. And I find it interesting to imagine what a person would be like if they feel like- and indeed, are -a child but have capabilities that exceed their age and size and don't have worldly experience to match their mental awareness.

I've read fics like "Wedding Crashers" where Renesmee is written as Veruca Salt-level spoiled, and she is positioned to have shades of that, being raised in a family that has bottomless money and seeing evidence in her first year of life that she is so important to everyone she knows that they will put their lives on the line for her. If she fully understood everything that was happening around her during Breaking Dawn, what must all of it have looked like through her eyes?

The book mentions that she only ever sleeps in someone's arms, never in a crib, because she lives in a house of sleepless vampires. Has she ever been denied anything? If so, what? And how did it feel? Pretty much everyone adores Renesmee, or is fascinated by her. One of the first people she laid eyes on imprinted on her on sight. She was brought to the most feared vampire in the world and touched his face, and then the bad guys went away and everyone was happy. She remembers all of it. She understood what was happening. How would that affect a kid?!

And, like the fic kind of explores, a lot of the things she's learned about her family and their lives before she was born would send some pretty concerning lessons about morality that I think someone would have to confront down the line- whether it be her family, or someone Renesmee meets who objects to being treated the way she's learned to treat people, or just Renesmee herself if she happens to learn better without being given reason to.

I just really enjoy exploring the duality of Renesmee as someone who was practically designed in a lab to be hugely entitled and selfish but also just a child who wants everyone to have a good time. She doesn't quite believe her actions have consequences, because everyone in her life is ready to fix anything she does and no one will hold anything against her because she's three and she doesn't know any better, and she's consciously aware of all of it, but also she is three and she doesn't know any better. Imagine an actual three year old, with all the tendency toward misbehavior that entails, but make them 1. capable of going anywhere they want, 2. superpowered, and 3. very aware that they won't get into any real trouble for whatever they do. Her heart's in the right place, but she's a kid, and a kid whose few life experiences to draw on, to guide her judgement, are all bizarre.

To answer your question about balancing a realistic tone without bashing canon, I guess my approach has been to kind of just go "Yes, and" to most things that are established in the books. (The exceptions, as mentioned in some of the chapter notes, being the child grooming and the idea that venom removes melanin; those two things I just got rid of.) I try not to go, "That's stupid, and here's why." For any given thing that the books hold to be true, I try to have a response of, "Okay, but let's look at the consequences." I won't take away anyone's happy ending, no matter how dubiously-obtained I find it, but their actions to get there still matter. I'm glad to hear you found it effective!

I always love getting comments about Renesmee's characterization! I love it, because the fic isn't even about her, so I love to know that a relatively small aspect of it stood out to you.

Also, thank you for specifying that you're rereading the earlier chapters, because I'm super self-conscious about those. 🤣

[taegularities]

oh rid, you know i cant just choose one part as my favorite...so here are my top five 😅

1. lights - so self-explanatory, i think ive raved about this chapter for months (and i will continue until the day i die)💀 it holds such a dear part in my heart despite them not being together, you feel the small actions of love they share 🙏 it is truly one of my favorite fics ive ever read

2. seven - OMG idk what it is about this part but i fell in love with it from the beginning and just cant stop rereading it 😭 its lighthearted (even though they are arguing) and so comedic, especially since i read it with the seven instrumental playing

3. monochrome - this part actually destroyed me in so many ways it is insane. idk if its bc the angst physically made me tear up and cry, but i felt so moved by them and truly enthralled when reading it. i have yet to reread it, but i think about this chapter so much 😅

4. letters from the heart - UGH I CAN TALK ABOUT THIS PART FOR AGES!! i loved seeing his pov and it was just *chefs kiss*

5. every other part youve released 😋

im so curious to know which part was your favorite and which part was the most fun/difficult to write!!

E, not you coming through with your TOP FIVE LIKE 😭 the moment i saw your ask and read the first line, i knew lights was gonna be #1!! and it has my heart, too… i don't know what it is about that one (maybe the yearning.. the subtle emotions?), but it's gonna stick with me forever <3 ALSO AH LMFAO i love how seven fought its way up so fast!! good choices good choices!! you're very brave for wanting to reread monochrome, too :')

ahhh!! i think i found blurred and translucent pretty difficult to write – most of all bc they both consist of scenes that were/are extremely important for the series and their story. i wrote and rewrote those quite a few times (the last translucent scene? i rewrote it like 3x and still cried every time) to make them perfect. i didn't want to disappoint anyone or myself by making them underwhelming, so i put a lot of thought into those <3 and i hope the effort was worth it all. i know that cmi11 is my favourite so far, for sure.

letters from the heart was incredibly difficult, too, bc writing a full part from his pov was.. challenging as heck :') cmi11.5 is a full jk pov one, too, but it's been much easier this time!! and the one i found most fun to write were lights, monochrome and blue (lol bc i LOVE writing angst, did you know? :')) <3 tysm for asking babe and sorry for the ramble kfsehkajfh 🥺🤍

what's your favourite cmi chapter (and why)? 🎨🤍

[penguin--person]

Beastnoch and vastgiver for the bingo please?

i dont know beastnoch as well as you do sire but i adore them!! esp your spin on them!!! ougg i really ought to read more of your fics sometime..!!! to me theyre like. silly. and goofy. ands illy.. so goofy... thyere so. messed up. but swag i think... i KNOW... so swag..

ive already done vastgiver But. you dont know them... not truly... so ill tell you about them!!:D u dont have to read this ramble of mine ofc, but, i wanted to talk about them with someone again and You said the word vastgiver to me so You get to unleash the horrors!!! it will be very ramble-y and incoherent hehe

vastgiver is my oc third vast attempt x my friend's oc lifegiver, hehe, both are iterators (rain world robots).. silly guys.. getting derailed already but. how wild is it that weve just!! been existing together for such a time!! like three years?? idk but. weve known each other for such a time!! n youve known fousek for that long as well... my boy fousek... Our boy fousek... wild tome...

so! vastgiver. tva, my beloved asshole tva, and lifegiver talked one time before meeting puppet to puppet. it was just your normal chat, asking about how lifegivers doing and what his whole deal is. a budding friendship, perhaps..? WRONG. tva then tried to kill his local group (comprised of two other iterator ocs of mine) (bg gave him access to their security systems, for reasons that would take long ot explain, which if youre interested in i would tell you but this is a vastgiver post hehe, and, then once tva had that access, he turned off their water supply, for funsies! bg and ui share their can), who then sent out an emergency broadcast all 'AHH HELP WERE BEING KILLED' and of course many iterators heard that. two other iterators from my friends went over to ui and bgs can to help them, and one other friend's oc went over to tva's can to laugh at him. and then lifegiver.

lifegiver made his presence very much known. he started drilling through tva's can with a gigantic mechanical beast, which is like, imagine someone drilling through you. imagine meeting your partner like that. lifey was especially mad because tva's doings reminded him of a personal experience he had with his local group.

he was soo angry, and, eventually, drilled his way into tva's chamber (where his puppet/body resides). he came out of his beast, yelled at tva and my other friends oc (who he was also angry at bc vivi wasnt helping at all and was rather annoying) a bit and then STABBED tva through the head!!! imapled him!!! and then tva umm. hehe. the first bud of their romance sprouted

'Itd be super hot if we kissed right now' my guy theres blood all over you and lifey is gonna for sure stab you again. tvas thought process was 'hey if hes gonna kil me i can at least make him feel as uncomfortable as possible' . anyway. this startled lifey. he didn't expect this, naturally.

'Your poncho is quite fashionable' yea sure tva whatever just die already. then lifey says 'you disgust me so much i hate you just fucking die id kill you right now i will kill you' . and at this point tva was so intrigued by lifey that he said, hey, if you let me live i'll umm not kill those two! how does that sound . and ofc lifey said Yes. so 👍they tva used this as a way to convince lifey to stay and talk with him a bit. and they talk. not about feelings but like, how cool and swag lifegiver is, tva praises him a whole bunch . n then tva is like Hey my can will collapse anyway from the damage youve done lol, and lifey fucking!!! says that his friend could fix him!!! like tva is just like 'ohhhh youre so swag and a hot babe youre so swag' and lifey already starts to get feelings for him . hilarious to me. of course this meant nothing to tva in the moment. then, uh oh, tva has lost too much blood! lifey goes over to him n just, holds him and chats with him as this puppet of his dies, ea comes and is like Hey i stole your fucking ball idiot. and tva goes nooo not my ball!! and dies. and lifey is sad about it.. holds his puppet so gently.. then ofc tva had other puppets prepared, so, he just woke up in another one, went back to lifey, hung out with him some more, their bond deepened, lifey even fuckinggg said 'i love you' !!!! im not kididng you.. tva calls lifey all kinds of silly nicknames, one of them being 'lifey wifey' which makes lifey almost as mad as he was when threatening to kill him. n then they nap for two cycles and lifey has to leave.

and then umm. 👍well tva's can falls . he sends out a broadcast which is him going FUCK THIS SUCKS. LIFEY HELP n lifey Does help he comes over to the wreckage of his can and ressurects him and tva realizes, oh, this loser really does love me, huh. n cries and sobs and they hug and hehe lifey takes her to his can:3 so that she'd be safe from danger .. then they go on a silly little date where they KISSY

they KISSY!!! and tva also met lifeys little brother.. n before that she also met some of his slugs, which lifey introduced tva to as his 'mate' bc he didnt know how else to, bc that was the only yword the slugs iunderstood, and hee theyre so silly tva was teasing him so much the whole time even before that. this is al happening in like the span of 30 cycles btw. which is, like 30 days, say. can oyu believe this.

after that umm they go back home and lifey says that hes prepared a room for tva in his city and tva says he'll find it himself and hes like Fuck Fuck Fuck this guy really cares for me Fuck so he goes and rips out a part of his core.👍gives himself a little ol lobotomy... to forget he ever did anything wrong.. lifeys overseer sees but doesnt act immediatly. tva has a litlte ol nap.

and man i really like what comes next. so. lifey after a few cycles goes and cuddles with tva, tells him ohh i love you so much. and he knows what tva did t this point, or suspects, at least. and tva is sooo happy. n then lifey touches his ribcage and notices its been opened n is like. hey did you open your ribcage. and tva goes haha no. n lifey displays the overseer photos and goes what the fuck is this then. huh. complete shift in tone. i love him. umm then they fight🧡this small arc ends with lifey getting tva another core.

then uhh . um. hehe. uhh. they fight bc its revealed to the publc that lifey saved tva. and lifey is upset about this ofc. and tva comes to visit him, they fight, lthey both ell a bunch ateach other, tva storms out but then storms back in n shows his core and yells If you really hate me that much then just destroy my core and kill me!! and umm . lifey damages his own puppet severely👍tva manages to fix him . n umm . stuff happens, lifey gets sad and tva proposes to make him feel better. were at 60 cycles at most here, dude. two months.

lifye says yes and!! thast whats happening in the rp rn:D!!! tvheyre getting married!!!! dude theyre getting married!!! in the middle of the vwedding tva just. fucking. fucked it up. "hey what if you wanna divorce me later. what if i kill again. what if i told you i liked killing them. haha jk. unless." but theyve resolved it👍

believe it or not but this isnt all of their lore, just the significant events id say

[valleynix]

OMG OMG OMG, DUDE YOURE STORY IS LITERALLY SO GOod like the way you write each character has me swooning and exactly how I picture them. Bela’s HBIC attitude but secretly sweet, Cassandra’s reluctance to show she cares, but you know she does from the little things, Daniela is so f*cking perfect ahhhh. I’m not lying when I say I kick my feet in the air with the little fluff sprinkled in. I don’t even care if there is plot anymore I JUST WANT MORE CUTE SHIT PLEASE.

AND you brought me to TEARS with that reveal. Ain’t no way reader is gonna come in and slaughter my babies. Like I was genuinely upset (not surprising tho I tear up killing them in the game. Like I’m at the 4 hour mark and still avoiding the Library and Armory LMAO) but no please don’t make this a angsty ending I’m begging let my babies be happy pleassseeeee.

I actually am not able to read a triple Dimitrescu gang bang (LMAO WhAT???) with out the proper characterization, or at least how I picture them. AND YOUVE NAILED IT SHEEEEESSSHHHH. Cassandra has me squealing the most tho, she’s so precious even tho she’s trying to be a mean >:( ( I’m on chapter 10 so I’m not caught up but this ^^^^^^ is what I think so far lolz.

Sorry this is all over the place but I’m an absolute slut for Bela, Cass, and Dani, like I know Dommy Mommy is there too but like I’m here for the fruit flies. They’re my favorite and it’s hard to find good fics with them and I love yours sm.

SIDE NOTE HAVE YOU LISTENED TO “Don’t Save Me” by Chxrlotte. Bestie when I say this is readers song, I mean PLEASE LISTEN TO IT AND READ THE LYRICS WHILE YOU DO. TELL ME ITS NOT THEIR SONG. EVERY TIME I LISTEN TO IT I THINK OF YOUR FIC PLEASE LISTEN.

Anyways love ya, you’re awesome 🫡🫡🫡

THE WAY THIS JUST MADE MY ENTIRE NIGHT PLEASE SDKJFHSDKJFHSD HOLY SHIT <3333333

i definitely do not recommend reading very far on this blog until you get caught up 😭 there are a lot of spoilers from other chapters that i'm sure you'd want to read firsthand <3

BUT HHHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY, i see the Dimitrescus getting mischaracterized SO often and it upsets me so much :( like they're so much more and so much DEEPER than what a lot of people assume, and i've tried my best to portray that in this story to the best of my ability. it makes me so glad to see it's being received well 😭😭😭

i don't plan on a completely angsty ending!! i couldn't bear to leave them with unhappy thoughts or anything, even if i might joke about it 😭 i can guarantee things might get more convoluted from here on out (especially with Lunatic's (the copy's) attitude and all), but i am here if you have any questions!!! i love helping y'all understand as well as i can :D

Alcina is definitely still there, and she has her moments, but i've been a bit... biased?? with the fruit flies??? i adore them to pieces and they've been getting WAY better treatment 😭 i've also been trying really hard not to make anything between them gross or even with their bits of jealousy, trying not to make it weird?? despite all of them sharing someone??? which really isn't hard to do and i wonder why some people cough struggle with that 😭😭

ANYWAYS I HAVE NOT LISTENED TO THAT BUT I 100% WILL!!!! i'm about to go lay down (sleepy after work) and i will absolutely analyze this song while i rest. i love when y'all recommend songs RRRRR IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

okay anyway enough rambling KSJDFHS my eyes hurt. i'm so glad you're enjoying the fic so far and i hope it'll only get better (though perhaps more confusing) as you read further <333333 HAVE A LOVELY EVENING OR DAY OR WHICHEVER IT IS FOR YOU!!! <333333

[sniper-spider]

BUCKY BARNES X MALE READER

summary: Y/n doesn’t know about The Winter Soldier and he finds out.

a/n: this is kinda based on another fic i read that i cant find but if youve read something like this, dont think i’m tryna steal it i just rly liked the idea and wanted to kinda make it my own. also this is kinda set during Civil War when Bucky was getting framed for things he didn’t do.

Bucky had gone to the grocery store to get something and you turned on the TV. It was on the news and you got ready to switch it to the Game Show Network when you saw something you hadn’t expected. It was… Bucky? There was a picture of him but in the picture he was... choking someone with a mechanical arm.

Why would Bucky choke someone? Your stomach dropped thinking about it. You turned up the volume. You listened to every word the news reporter said.

“James Buchanan Barnes, who was presumed dead in an accident in 1943 was confirmed alive 2 years ago as an assassin for the organization HYDRA calling himself The Winter Soldier. Thought to have stopped his murder spree, the man was seen this afternoon choking someone in the street with 3 dead bodies near him, presumably murdered by him. Barnes got away when the police came. The bodies have been identified as-”

You switched the TV off. You couldn’t believe what you had just heard. Bucky was The Winter Soldier? And he’d never told you? What if he was only with you to eventually kill you or recruit you to HYDRA? What was going on? How could you have been so stupid to fall for his tricks? You felt such betrayal.

-time skip-

Bucky sorted through his keys and finally settled on the one to the apartment that you and him shared. He slid the key into the keyhole and then turned it, pulling the key back out and sliding the keyring in his pocket. He opened the door and saw you on the couch, dried tears on your face. He looked at you concerned. You only muttered one thing.

“How could you?”

Bucky’s mind immediately went to worrying you’d found out about The Winter Soldier. Just in case, he asked what you meant nervously. You stood up and walked closer to him as you spoke.

“What do I mean?” You asked. “What do I mean? do you do enough bad things that you have to ask me what I mean? Is that what this is?”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He could tell that you knew. There was a moment of silence.

“Why?” You asked.

“Why what?” Bucky asked.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

It took Bucky a moment to answer.

“I was afraid of how you would react. Like what you’re doing now…”

“Why are you dating me? Is HYDRA having you do it? Am I just your next victim? Hm?” You asked. “I saw the news. Saw what you did to those people.”

“No, (Y/N), you don’t understand. I-” Bucky started.

“No, I understand fine. You won’t even confess either. I can’t believe I fell for this,” you said.

“(Y/N), I-” Bucky started, sounding a little desperate which surprised you a bit.

“I trusted you, Bucky. I trusted you. Do you know how hard that is for me? I’ve never trusted someone in my life. And then there was you. I should have known better,” you said, a few tears brimming your eyes.

“(Y/N), please listen to me,” Bucky said.

“No. You know what? Get out,” you said.

Bucky didn’t move, he just looked at you, hurt.

“Out!” You said more forcefully this time.

Bucky slowly and silently started to leave, opening the door, starting to go through it. You couldn’t bear to see him this way. Even with what had happened, you still loved him.

“Wait,” you said.

Bucky stopped and turned around, looking at you. You walked towards him. You wanted to believe him. He seemed to genuine when he denied. You were afraid, but you hugged him. He was all that you had. You decided to allow him to explain himself. He looked at you confused, before gently wrapping his arms around you. After a moment, you pulled away, looking at him.

“Bucky, I wanna believe you. I don’t understand what’s going on, and I know I said I did, but I don’t and I wanna hear what you have to say,” you said, rambling a little.

Bucky agreed and you both sat down on the couch next to each other as he explained. As he got deeper into talking about HYDRA, he started to have more trouble talking about it, his voice breaking a little.

“And I killed-I killed so many people and-” Bucky started to say, starting to shake a little, seeming like he was going to cry.

Bucky’s eyes looked wet, starting to brim with tears. You couldn’t help yourself. Before he could finish that sentence, you gently wrapped your arms around him and pulled him towards you, his head resting under your chin.

“It wasn’t you, sweetheart. It was HYDRA, okay? I‘m so sorry I blamed you. It wasn’t you at all. You would never do that,” you comforted.

“It was so-It was so hard on me,” Bucky struggled out.

Bucky pulled away as soon as you felt a small drop of liquid on your chest. You saw that he was crying a little bit. Bucky turned away from you, his body shaking. He tried hard to stop himself from crying. You leaned over and cupped his cheek, gently pulling him to look at you. He looked embarrassed.

“It’s okay, Bucky. It’s okay to cry. You can trust me, sweetheart. I’m here for you, okay?” You said gently.

Bucky nodded and then slowly went back to the position he was in before. After a moment he began to cry harder. You felt so bad for him, finding out what had been done to him. He was drenching you in tears, but you didn’t mind one bit.

“Hey, I love you, okay? If there’s anything I can do, just let me know, yeah?” You asked.

Bucky nodded softly and then spoke quietly, a slight whine in his voice.

“J-Just hold me…” Bucky said.

You could tell it was a bit difficult for him to admit that he wanted physical touch, but you were glad to give it to him.

“Of course, sweetheart. Anything you want.”

Bucky cried for a while after that, screaming a little bit at one point. He got more and more comfortable with you as time progressed. Bucky felt much better afterwords now that he’d finally let some of that go since he’d been holding it in for so long.

el end.

[tea-with-veth]

hi! ive noticed that you and several other writers (chrys, subwalls, etc) have a sort of community and i think a discord? and i think thats really cool! if ur ok with it, i wanted to ask what kind of experiences youve had with that sort of writing community (highs, lows, etc)? also, is this discord private/can new members join? have a great day/night! :D

Hello Anon! I am now going to rant about how cool this community is and my friends are, so sorry in advance about the massive blocks of texts I’m about to write. 

I met most of my friends in this community through the LBMSWA discord. It’s a fairly small private server full of some awesome authors, artists, and generally cool people from the MCYT community, and honestly, it’s...pretty hard to describe. LBMSWA is a family, complete with mothers, siblings, The Cousin™️, aunts and uncles, fathers, and some short humans.  It’s like the mafia if the mafia dealt in love and bullying instead of murder and smuggling illegal alcohol during prohibition. It’s, to say the least, an enigma. We murder our adopted internet children during an impromptu Dream SMP roleplay on Wednesdays and then play Jackbox on Saturday nights. I’d say LBMSWA is my home-away-from-home, but it’s more like… a home I carry in my pocket. Occasionally they call me a simp. I love them anyway, and I’d steal the stars for them, and they’d fight a bear (or eight) for me. 

I’ve met a lot of other cool authors through The Book and Quill SMP/discord another private server, which has some of the most well-known writers in this community (like, I’m not kidding, there are some very famous people there it’s quite intimidating sometimes) who mostly chill, talk about various memes, and play Minecraft. (I’ve got the coolest treehouse, and go mining on Sunday afternoons when I just need to vibe). 

As far as experiences in this community, I honestly couldn’t describe the highs and lows, because it’s been, in truth, one long and wonderful high. I’ll tell you a secret: practically every single author/artist in this community is excited to meet new people and make new friends. I joined LBMSWA because Firefly464 reached out to me. I met Subwaywalls, Hognose Snake, Blu000jay (aka Rox), and Chrys because I made fanart for their (brilliant) fics, and then continued to reach out. Lumberjack-halt aka my big sister Comfy reblogged my art and recommended my fic, and I DMed her on Tumblr to say thank you. 

Now I edit Firefly’s fic, and she calls me Mom and sent me a stuffed Tiger named Charles. Subwaywalls shares snippets of her writing and she, Chrys, and I fight over being one another’s #1 fans. I have unfettered access to Comfy’s WIPs and bully her into writing more. Chrys and I show up in one another’s DMs and scream love at one another and sometimes cry. Nkhatoic and Wax asked me to help edit one of their fics shortly after we met, which was my first real editing gig, and one of my favorites. And that’s just scratching the surface. It’s been so rewarding not only to have so much love and creativity poured into me but to be able to aid and inspire other artists! 

All this is to say, there are a lot of cool people out there, and most of them are very excited to meet you if you’re willing to reach out. 

As for Chrys, Subwaywalls, and I, along with several other very talented creators… beyond our various group chats and LBMSWA hangouts, you can find us on the Young God discord, for Chry’s fic. You can find a link at the end of their interlude: lida fic. 

Sorry, this is quite the ramble. This community has been incredibly wonderful and life-changing, and I wouldn’t be doing this without them. Creators need support, and few people are as supportive and helpful as fellow artists and authors. I am incredibly thankful for them. <3 

[callmearcturus]

(1) this is probably not super necessary but i just wanted to say in case you or any of your followers do ever give it a look, i feel like that anon abt pq/fs is pretty inaccurate - as someone who was really hurt by the epilogues/hs2 i hoped that game would be kind it...certainly wasnt. esp jake and dirks routes (and ik they were important to you), jakes route writes him poorly and paints dirk as an abuser, dirks route HEAVILY ties into the epilogues and ends with the writing director basically

2) saying all the hs characters were 'made to suffer'. its not kind and it really did kind of feel like another slap in the face, so it definitely isnt worth your time or money especially given the type of people who run hs now. on a more positive note though i wanted to just say thank you, i LOVED your dj fics so much and they are still so dear to me, id bind them all if i could and i have art of it framed in my home, they make me so happy! and i started listening to tma because of you

3) and i am thoroughly enjoying it, its been wonderful to find a new special interest that i can engage in and share with people like i used to hs. i havent finished catching up to date yet but i look forward to reading your tma fics once i do, youre my favorite author and im excited to read new works from you again :^D anyway sorry to ramble, thank you so much for always writing such beautiful stories and sharing them with us, i hope the happiness youve brought people returns to you tenfold!

Yeah this is why I sort of... yeah, I know. XD Out of my friendgroup that was once filled with HS fans, one of us who shall remained unnamed continues to have just enough of an ear to the ground to know about The Bullshit. So I heard that Jake’s route was Like That and that Dirk’s was just steeped in more of the fucking epilogues shit.

I wish I still cared about HS enough to write an essay on why the concept of the Ultimate Self broke HS and also is a Get Out Of Bad Writing Free card, because its fucking insufferable to see that eleventh hour “oh no i fucked up writing jade” turned into a bludgeon to beat apart Dirk, who was a good character once.

ANYWAY. I am glad you have found the safer shores of, yanno, the horror podcast that will probably kill off its protagonist, but at least it’ll earn it and not be doing it to jerk off to how edgy it is. Honestly, getting into other media that HS has been deeply healing because there is something weird about HS (I think bc the format of HS is so singular) that it tricks you into believing nothing else could ever be as good. And it’s wonderful to get into other media and go “oh actually..... other stuff is better.”

When you get to them, I hope my work doesn’t disappoint. Thank you for the kind words.

[theday]

🎁 🎄 >:)

miss ayesha... u know ID DIE FOR YOU um got a little long here whoops

compliment: bitch u already know wht im gonna talk about :-/ firstsofall.... ur fics are so wonderfully written and really bring out any and every sort of emotion in me like?? i already told u but ghost au made me so warm and happy and when the *ngst came i got so :-( you rly tug on my heart strings ur just that amazing..... jungle au is doing amazing as well and its heading in such a lighthearted direction i Love this Song??? idk all ur fics never fail 2 amaze and make me happy ur impact..! and!! whenever we discuss our hh ideas i get so happy im just.. smiley all the time now whenever we talk i love it thank u for always indulging me

why i followed you: thank god this is easy for my fish memory i was hunting for hh fics while in i was resting in japan and guess what i came across! the legendary ghost au fic and i read the first chap,, saw ur links and smashed that follow button also i got so excited when you made this post after i commented on chapter 2 :-( ayesha fuck my life i rly went through ur blog and after that i played myself bc of all the mh posts... i died i mcfucking died ! hes so cute i love minhyuk so much anyway i dont even know what the fuck i was saying hold on ok yes right why i followed u long story short i followed you bc of ghost au there u have it ! also that hh spam i did im laughing i cant believe you followed back bc of that and look at where we are now... talking abt minhyuk being a b*tt*m bc hes the ventricle wyfhsddhjhs also that chapter 2 text post was made on oct 19th that means we’ve really only been buddies for ~2 months thats wild hey i dont say this muhc but i fucking love u?

what i like most about you: fuck my life u know ur the sweetest friend i have?? i meant tjats redacted i love all my buds theyre all gorgeous and have hearts of gold but u miss ayesha.. truly... u reached throguh my skin cells and physically + emotionally touched my squishy heart :-( this sounds terrible but u know when u wrote me that birthday fic i rly fucking. i almsot cried this is an exaggeration bc im literally earth and dirt so i dont cry but please if i was a water sign id be mcfucking bawling just know that alright and i mean i kind of expected it bc of “what do you think of soulmates au”, “dont interact with soulmate aus” and then “tell me when its 12am your time” please ayesha please i just god i wish i couldve told you in words but clearly i coudlnt bc of fucking character limit on ao3 but u know i was really so happy i was about to make a whole psot for you but then u sent me this so i was like YEs i get to express my LOVE and everything for u so here i am, rambling :^( you really wrote 6k words for me and thats the most anyone has done for me i dont . i dnt celebrate my birthday here but you.. you went out of your way to write somethiing for me??? it was for me?? i still havent even properly processed that fact because its just??? i have never ever gotten such a ??? thoughtful gift?? in my whole 16 years of living and breathing so ayesha you reallY!!! and you stayed up to write it??? just... thank you so much i wish i couldve done the same and you know what else??? we arent even friends for like 6 months no its just about 65 days maybe and yet!!! and yet you still wrote soemthing for me (and the hh tag since its dry as shit) but . the thought still stands.. you really wrote a birthday fic for me.... thank you so much ayesha :~( i know we bully each other constantly nd u might be expecting this to me like mean but i cant bc whtf the fuck! i love u so much youve done so much for the hyunghyuks and me?? you really brighten up my days and whenever you approve of a song rec thats possibly hh i get so fuckign happy im just one sappy piece of earth rn but!!!! i really really appreciate you and im jsut?? thank you for being born thank you for existing thank you for being my friend i love u :( youre so supportive too i feel so at ease sharing what i write with you you make everything so easy and god i bever shut the fuck up but please...... discussing hyunghyuk aus/ideas with you is my only saving grace at times and juts!! thank u so much again hhhhhh ur so considerate and supportive thank u... also (for the nth time) u always never ffail 2 make me laugh especially with jungle au the banter... god i love it :( basically i like everything abt u wtf legened omg just remembered but whenever we have a same brainwaves moment i get so happy too it rly gets my heart bumping its like im dong cardio wtdhhdhjssjhdhj i love it thank u always

IM CRYING IT GOT SO LONG.... thank u for sending it in i rly wanted to thank you

mutuals send me ‘🎁’ for a compliment or send me ‘🎄’ for why i followed you / what i like most about you