#if there are any spelling mistakes that i didn’t catch i’m sorry it’s almost 3AM and i’m so tired lmao

[just-asks-and-beats]

Land Ho!

Water. That was all Gray could see.. for soooo long. He just wanted to pass out. His body felt sluggish, it was getting harder by the minute to sit up straight, and his head was pounding. He tried to ignore it, but it really seemed like karma was beginning to catch up to him. It certainly didn’t help to be in the presence of Ship for the whole ride… they were too damn happy, too damn hug-y..? Is that even a word..? He didn’t know, didn’t care. He just wanted them to stop hopping around the ship hugging everyone and get to the volcano already. As a gentle sea breeze ruffled his cloak, he took a moment to let everything that was happening set in… Big mistake. He felt sick, guilt coming along with his realisations. Oh, how he didn’t want to have to face Barracuda.. but what other choice did he have!? What would everyone do to him if they found out who he really was…? He wished he’d died in that final fight.. he hardly even remembered what happened, just how much it hurt. Nobody had ever accepted him, and he was sure there were no chances at a happy life for him now. He’d ruined every chance he had. He let out a quiet sigh as he looked down at the water below…

Darkness. That was all Lycan- or Lichen? Was he still using the code-name? He didn’t remember… Anyway, it was dark. Way too dark. For soooo long. He hated being stuck as Gray’s body, it was getting hot being covered up in fabric the whole time! They wished Ship had a motorboat so they could just speed over to the volcano instead of this. It was hard to see, hard to breathe, and getting tiring holding Gray up. He wanted to complain about it, but alas, giving away both of their identities would mean quite a bit of trouble. He’d just have to complain to Barracuda when they got there. He began thinking of the volcano, how nice it would be to stay there again. Sure, his last visit ended in disaster, but it was the fun kind of disaster! He truly didn’t care about being corrupted, he just liked having the extra sass and slight power boost! Sure, they weren’t as much of a threat as they were when they’d first been corrupted, the treeangle shard greatly powering up the volcano, but they could still kick ass! He wondered how Bareacuda would react to seeing them both… a question entered his mind. Should he tell Barracuda that Gray is really Blixer…? Well, if Ship said he hadn’t been in a good mood lately, then the answer was probably no. He would just have to wait until Barracuda was feeling better to speak about it with him in private! …He hoped everything would go well when they arrived at the volcano…

The sea, the sky, the beautiful clouds, the shining sun, oh how Ship loved it. There was nothing better to them than setting sail, gazing out over the horizon… this “Gray” was quite the character. Gray top, blue bottom, they’d never seen another shape like him, but they certainly weren’t judging. They liked Gray, even if something about him seemed… off. They couldn’t quite place their finger on it, but they figured it best to let sleeping dogs lie, and let him live his own life without asking too many questions. Ship took out their telescope and pour it to their eye, getting a better look at everything. The telescope was a family heirloom, passed down through quite a few generations, and always kept on tip-top shape, just like their ships. As they gazed through the glass they took in a deep breath, letting out a hearty

“LAND HO!”

Gray had practically jumped right off Lycan- or Lichen? Were they still trying to convince everyone that sorry excuse for a lie was their name? He wasn’t sure. Anyway- he’d practically jumped right off their shoulders as Ship’s call rang out across the waters. He saw the volcano in the distance, quickly getting larger and larger. Finally.

Lichen sat up straight, fully alert. What was going on? He couldn’t see a thing and he felt too nervous to try and peek out.. Maybe the volcano was close! He really hoped so… luckily his guess was correct as he heard Ship began to speak about things like “droppin’ ye off ‘ere” and “dockin’ the boat”. He quickly told up, hiding his paws in the cook and holding onto Gray to keep him steady as he hopped out of the boat onto the volcano’s island.

“Alrighty, I hope everythin’ goes well for ye here, and I really hope ye can get that grumpy lad t’ be a bit more cheerful! I’m surprised he hasn’t “unleashed his wrath” on us yet! Well, maybe he just recognises ye! I wish ye the best o’ luck, I’ll be takin’ me leave now!” And with that, Ship began sailing away, leaving Gray on the island to try and help Barracuda. They waved to him as they sailed off.

“Ah, thank you ever so much for your generosity!” Lycan did his best to sound mature once again, speaking so Gray didn’t have to. He waved back where he’d heard Ship’s voice come from, hoping it was at least general the right direction, since he couldn’t see all too well. He heard Gray sigh.

“….Alright… let’s get goin’ I guess….” His voice sounded weak, and quieter than usual. Lichen felt a bit worried about the poor guy.. They peeked out of the cloak and began to walk towards the tunnel leading into the volcano. As they entered, Lycan finally looked out of the cloak completely, then kneeled down to Gray could get off of his shoulders. As Gray climbed down he really wasn’t really to hav to hold himself up completely on his own, and almost fell over, doing all he could to keep his legs from giving out entirely. He leaned against a wall of the cave, trying to be as nonchalant about everything as possible, but Lycan knew something was wrong.. Gray’s condition was getting worse.

“Uh.. you stay here! I’ll try to find Barracuda! I don’t think you’d do too well climbin around the rocks n stuff over the lava. I’m used to it though, or at least I was getting used to it when I was here for a bit… Whatever, I’ll be fine. See ya!” And with that he ran down the tunnel into the main area of the volcano.. Where was Barracuda? If he was apparently making such a fuss over here, then why wasn’t he there to greet them? Lycan scaled a rocky wall, climbing up to a ledge and jumping onto another rocky platform.

“HEY BARRACUDA!? I BET YA RECOGNISE MY ANNOYING VOOOIICE! DID YA MISS ME?” He called out, hoping for any kind of response.. Barracuda was the only one he knew that might be capable enough to help B- Gray without maybe also wanting to kill him. He needed to find him. He continued searching, leaping from place to place, his attention shifting more to the search than to his surroundings… He called out again to Barracuda, his voice echoing throughout the cavern. He hardly noticed a slight trembling of the rock beneath his feet. He walked to the ledge, ready to leap to a rocky wall and grab on when suddenly, just as he was about to jump, the rock broke beneath him. He yelped as his plunge to the lava below began. No! He didn’t want this to happen again, it hurt! He braced himself for the intense burning sensation when suddenly, he stopped! Something had grabbed him, a long tail of some sort curled around his torso, it’s grip tightening as he was slowly hoisted back up to a stable ledge. He gripped the ground below him, trembling slightly before shaking his head and trying to stand up… but he couldn’t. He noticed the tail was still tightly gripped around him… wait.. this is-!

“Just what do you think you’re doing here…?” A cold, stern voice asked. Lycan looked up to see none other than Barracuda glaring at him… suddenly he felt a lot more helpless. He stammered a bit before being cut off by one of Barracuda’s dramatic sighs. He pulled his tail closer to himself, bringing Lycan along with it. He took the time to inspect the pink splotches making their way into Lycan’s complexion.

“…I see the corruption hasn’t quite treated you well, has it? Let me guess, you’ve come to run from your problems..” His voice was calm, yet accusatory in a way. Lycan looked a bit uncomfortable, staring at the ground.

“…I.. I need your help.. we need your help. I have someone with me that.. isn’t doing too well.” He shrunk back as he noticed how infuriated Bareacuda looked.

“What do you think this volcano has become, a hospital!? Why do you think I would ever care about some stranger, and some annoying pup come to ruin my only chances as finding a sorry excuse for peace!?” Lycan gave a small whimper as Barracuda’s grip on him tightened as he got angrier, which seemed to make Barracuda let go of him altogether. He gave an almost apologetic look before curling his tail around himself and looking away.

“….Lycanthropy, I just want everyone to leave me alone. I have… much on my mind currently, and as you can tell i’m horribly irritable. So if you could just… leave. That would be ideal.” He tried to make “go away” sound a eloquent as possible.. Lycan seemed to get the message, but he had no other options.. he couldn’t leave.

“…I’m sorry for being so annoying and I promise I’ll try not to cause any trouble but please! Please let us stay, we don’t even have any way to leave and even if we go leave we have nowhere to go! Shapes started freaking out when they saw the pink growing back on me! And- and Gray is… I.. I’m worried he won’t last for much longer without any help and I don’t know what to do!” He looked at Bareacuda, desperate for any kind of look of pity. He got a flash of one, but Bareacuda quickly composed himself and returned his stern gaze.

“I have no help to give. I’m sorry. I can temporarily fix the bridge to this island so that you and this “Gray” may leave, but that. is. all.” Barracuda may be stubborn, but Lycan was too. He decided it was time for the final trick up his sleeve… the puppy eyes. He did his best to look as pitiful as possible, his big eyes shining as he did his best to convince Barracuda one final time to let them stay…. Eventually he got up, looking sadly at the way back down. He tearfully nodded as he climbed down, slowly making his way back to the tunnel where Gray was waiting. Barracuda felt… guilty. Did he really just deny a kid and someone who is potentially deathly ill from taking shelter here…? He didn’t want to think of himself as a bad person, but… this was certainly a new low. Oh how he hated this feeling, but… he couldn’t force Lycan and his friend to leave, his conscience would never recover.. He slowly slithered down, as he reached the bottom he used his magic to transform his serpentine bottom half back into normal legs. He ran into the tunnel after Lycan.

Gray has been sitting here alone for quite some time.. where was Lycan.. was he hurt…? He hoped not, he’d never forgive himself if he got this kid into even worse trouble… His head was foggy, thoughts swimming around and crashing into one another, he could hardly even stay awake. He didn’t notice the sound of footsteps approaching until Lycan was standing right in front of him, he sleepily looked up, slightly relieved to see him ok. Lycan began to speak to him… what was he saying…? Something about… Barracuda… guilt-tripping….? He had no idea what was going on… He noticed Lycan looked worried.. they knelt down in front of him and waved a hand in front of his face… what were they doing…? He just grunted and shook his head, he didn’t feel well.. Lycan backed off, but still seemed troubled as he stared at him. Then, Lycan looked over down the tunnel, he smiled a little and got up to greet someone… Gray did his best to see who it was…. it was Barracuda.. he really was here… he was staring at him, did he do something wrong…? He… wasn’t sure what expression Barracuda even had… he felt nervous, guilty… He felt so tired… Barracuda was here.. that was good…. he’d help… good… that means Gray could just… close his eyes… for a minute…

“D-DID HE JUST DIE!?” Lycan exclaimed, looking at Gray who practically just passed out. He looked over to Bareacuda for some kind of reassurance, but all he got was silence.. Barracuda was still staring at Gray, why? Was he that upset a stranger was here..? Lycan watched as Barracuda picked Gray up and walked away with him, taking the time to look back and make sure Lycan was following, which he was. Barracuda had changed his normal legs into a serpentine tail once again to scale the rocks, and had eventually lead Lycan through a small crevice, which lead into a larger cavern area, illuminated by a mixture of candles, lamps, and glowing mushrooms. Oddly enough, there was furniture here. There was a couch, a table and chairs, a laptop, and a whole bunch of boxes filled with all sorts of different things all neatly organised. There was a fire going, a pot hanging above it on a small rack, the smell coming from it made Lycan’s stomachs growl. He hadn’t eaten in a while and whatever was in there smelled great. Barracuda placed Gray down on the couch, grabbing a blanket and putting it over him, then going into the boxes and pulling out two bowls and spoons. He grabbed a ladle resting by the fire and used it to serve two bowl-fulls of a mushroom stew. He handed a bowl to Lycan, which quickly sat down at the table and began to scarf down his meal. He also took his bowl to the table and began eating in a much calmer manner. He looked up at Lycanthropy who clearly seemed to me enjoying the meal and slightly smiled to himself… maybe he could get use to these two idiots staying for a while..

[notsarareallynot]

Falling

Part 2 (Nightmare)

Paring: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1.3k

Summary: You are Tony Starks daughter and find yourself falling head over heels for Bucky Barnes, but will he fall for you?

Warnings: panic attack/ a bit violence I guess?

I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes...

< Part 1 / Part 3 >

You get ripped out of your sleep by a random pain in your leg and someone talking.

It's really dark in the living room, it's probably after midnight.

Your still on the couch, with Bucky next to you.

He is sweating and mumbling something in his sleep, his face is pale and his metal hand is grabbing on to your thigh really hard.

You don't really know what to do, the hand on your thigh started to hurt really bad.

,,Bucky..." you whisper.

,,Hey Bucky please wake up" you try again a little louder than before.

You know by now, that where his hand is, is gonna be a mark left on your thigh.

,,ouch... Bucky please... your hurting me"

With that his eyes snap open.

His breathing is heavy and he scans the room with terror in his eyes.

His eyes land on you, tears streaming down your cheeks he Scans your body and sees his hand resting on your thigh.

He moves his hand to the side and sees that his grip had left a pretty big purple and red bruise on your thigh.

,,I- I'm so sorry y/n... oh no- what did I- oh I'm so sorry-" he breathed heavily.

,,Hey no it's okay Buck... I'm fine it's okay..." you tried to calm him.

His breathing got faster and it seemed like he had a panic attack.

,,Bucky it's okay nothing happened-"

,,Nothing happened!? God look at your leg y/n" he screamed.

You flinched a bit at his words because you were surprised by him screaming at you.

,,Hey Bucky look at me. I'm fine." You cupped his face with both of your hands.

,,It's okay." You see the tears building up in his eyes and just pulled him in for a hug.

You started whispering things in his ears to calm him.

After a couple minutes his breathing was back to normal again and he just let you hold him.

,,Thank you..." he whispers almost too quiet for you to hear it.

You both stay like that for a moment before you pull back to look at him. He is soaked in his sweat.

,,Bucky...come on" you take him by his hand and walk up the stairs to his room.

You sit him on his bed and got to his wardrobe to grab him some new clothes.

Just by now you noticed that you never actually been in Buckys room before.

You have grabbed a shirt and some sweatpants for him and layed them down onto his lap.

,,Here, you go take a shower and get dressed okay ?"

,,Yeah..." he says and tries to give you a small smile.

He stands up and walks into his bathroom.

You hear the shower running and start to look around in his room. It's so impersonal. Nothing. No pictures. No silly stuff. Just his bed a tv and his closet.

You heard that he had turned the shower off, so you sat on his bed and waited for him. He left his bathroom door open a little bit, and you couldn't resist to catch a glimpse. He has such a toned stomach. You got snapped out of your thoughts by him entering his room.

He looked way better now after the shower.

As he walked towards you he scratched the back of his neck with his hand and sits down next to you on his Bed.

His eyes land on your bruised thigh and he got this look of guilt and pain on his face again.

You took his hand in yours and held it.

,,Just forget about it okay? I have been trough way worse stuff then a little bruise on my leg"

,,I-I just- I'm really sorry y/n. Out of everyone- I never wanted to hurt you" he sighed looking down to the floor.

,,It's okay. I know that." you say squeezing his hand.

By now you can't hold your yawn in any longer. It is now 3am and you are really tired.

But you really didn't wanna leave Bucky all by himself after what he just went through.

,,Come on doll I'll walk you to your room"

You blush almost immediately because of the new nickname he gave you.

He stood up walking toward his bedroom door,

but you stayed seated on his bed.

,,I don't wanna leave you alone Bucky, and..."

,,And what y/n?" he asks smiling slightly.

,,Ughh... and I'm scared to be alone in my room now that everyone else is gone..." you say looking ashamed down to the floor.

You know that it probably sounds stupid, but your room is on a different floor then Buckys so you would be all by yourself and you were scared.

Bucky closed his door again and walked back to you.

,,Oh okay. Well you can stay here if that is what you want? I'm just gonna lay on the floor or maybe I could-"

,,No no no if anyone sleeps on the floor it's gonna be me. This is your room and your bed Bucky. It is so nice of you to let me stay here. I am not gonna sleep in your bed if you are gonna lay on the floor."

You tell him.

,,Haha doll that's really cute of you but I never used the bed anyways..." he says.

,,What do you mean you never used your own bed Bucky?" you ask him clearly confused.

,,It's just I can't sleep in it... I don't know it's just uncomfortable and- I don't now it's just how it is."

,,Well my Bed has a lot pillows and blankets ohhh and I got so many cute stuffed animals. Maybe you could try to sleep in there?"

,,With you? I don't know doll-" he says unsure

looking at the bruise on your leg again.

,,It's gonna be fine. Come with me"

You grab him by his hand and you walk to your room.

You open your door and closed it behind the two of you. Bucky admires your room. Your room is the complete opposite of his room it is super comfy with a couch in it, many pictures and drawings on the walls which are covered in fairy lights.

You walk towards your super big king size bed with at least a hundred pillows on it and get under the covers. You tab on the empty spot in your bed next to you, signaling Bucky to lay down.

He walked slowly and unsure towards your bed and you feel the bed shifting under his weight as he lays down next to you.

After a bit of time you noticed that Bucky tried very hard not to move or make any noise to disturb you.

,,What are you doing?" you ask him really tired.

,,Oh sorry..." he whispers.

,,Haha what are you sorry for Bucky? You can move" you tell him giggling sleepy.

,,O-okay" he says.

You drift off to sleep. Bucky is still awake when you start to cuddle up against him in your sleep.

At first his body stiffened, but then he started to relax and enjoy your touch.

He couldn't remember the last time somebody touched him without the intention to harm him.

But you, you where different he thought. Even though he had just hurt you, even if it was by accident you still weren't scared or disgusted by him and he didn't quite understand why.

He started to stroke your hair until he finally fell asleep too.

*************

[gakucchis]

HEEELLOOOO !!!! hope you’re doing well and healthy~ i just had a funny thought; what would the obey me characters react to mc dancing to bad boy or psycho or seulrene’s monster HSHDHFJFK like i can imagine mammon’s eyes bulging out HAHAHAH

NGL this is the first time ive EVER gotten something in my box or what it's called 😭 i just woke up so good morning/good evening wherever you are, i hope you're doing well too! and GIRL am i READY to do this !!

after writing all this i realized, i did too much, im a bad writer, i suck at english, i am big dumb, im sorry for mistakes, my uncreativity, it’s 3am lol but at least i passed my driving test today! and PLEAse correct me if i have used gender specific pronouns anywhere!

i included "be natural" too because it's so classy and i love it :)

Obey Me! characters reacting to gn!MC dancing to a Velvet song by Red Velvet

Lucifer

lucifer notice that for weeks your knees had bruises

they started to heal, but they started to reappear again

he was worried about what you’re doing, but you just shrugged it off everytime he asked you about it

that didn’t stop him from trying to find out

one day, he hears a song playing in the kitchen, and knowing you’re on cooking duty, he investigates

he gets closer, seeing your figure standing at the stove, dancing to the rhythm of the song

while he enjoys watching you like this, he tries to link the dancing to your bruised knees

“MC,” he startles you with his deep voice behind you, as you immediately stop and try to stand firmly

“are your bruised knees from dancing?”

you look at him innocently, knwoing he’d tease you about your hobby

he waited for a bit, yet you didn’t say anything, only shaking your head lightly

he didn’t trust you with that, but he knows you won’t be truthful, so his plan is to catch you dancing once again

and that time came sooner than expected

as lucifer was leaving school around the time where most have already left, he was looking through the classrooms like he often did to catch any lingering students

one classroom was closed though, no matter how he tried to open it

“it can’t be helped,” he sighs as he uses a spell to open the door, revealing someone inside

inside of the empty room was you, your d.d.d quietly playing “monster” by red velvet’s irene & seulgi

you practised your dance, shifting from position to position, as you followed the choreography step by step, leading to you getting on the ground with your knees, trying to capture their powerful, mature side

you stopped as your gaze shifted to someone standing in front of you

looking up it reveals lucifer standing there with crossed arms, smirking while slowy kneeling down as well, lifting your face with his hand

“so, what do you have to say now, my idol?” he can’t deny that you caught his attention, so that he did not interrupt you and preferred gazing at your moving body

Mammon

POLICE, mammon is bored again

and his first stop is finding you again, as always

almost always he will bust into the room catching you by surprise, but as he got closer he couldn't overhear the faint music in the hallway

was it a song from that one band again that you liked? red velvet?

even though you had shown him some songs, he didn't remember many, but it would probably be "bad boy" if they repeated it so much

trying to surprise you, he planned on slightly opening the door and then jumping in, but something crossed his plans

as he silently and carefully opened the door, he saw you weren't in your bed, but rather in the middle of the room, with your back to the door

you were dancing to the song, silently humming the melody and concentrating on your movement, not seeing mammon at all

mammon wanted to leave or jump in soon, but you captivated him

followed your every move but by second his face would get redder at your suggestive dance

the way you turned your head, the way you rolled your body, the way you danced so seductively drives him crazy

he really felt like a bad boy down at your mercy

he thought about leaving and taking care of his growing problem because of you, but decided to try and turn the tables

"what ya doin' there, little dancer?!" he exclaimed and caught you by surprised

your flushed face only turned him on more

you tried to hide your face with your hands, but mammon got a hold of them

"listen... y-you weren't that bad..!"

your frown turns into a smile as you chuckle and give him a quick kiss, not realizing how much he's craving you right now

his face begins to blush more, but he can't let go of you or you lips for a few hours now

Levi

something inside levi is detecting something...

a girl group song?

someone's playing a song by red velvet inside the house?

he begins to investigate, but knows where to look first

"MC!" he shouts as he enters the room, catching you by surprise

your lips turned into a smile as you asked for him to sit down, it was actually you who played "psycho" by red velvet

you asked him to sit there and evaluate your dancing, but please be honest

levi didn't sign up for this, but he did it for you, even though he could guess you're a horrible dancer; at least he can listen to red velvet

the music started playing, and your body started moving to the rhythm

the more seconds passed, the more did levi get mesmerized by your way of moving

your expressions made this only worse – your lips that would sometimes turn into a smirk, your eyes that would sometimes stare at him longingly

levi couldn't just sit there and stare, his blush growing by second

he couldn’t even focus on the song anymore, he didn’t even feel like he could focus on you

“MC... that’s enough”

“why? am i that bad?”

“n-no..! y-you’re perfect...”

by that point you realized why he’s feeling uneasy and asked for you to stop, but he reassures you that you’re a good dancer

if you then offer to show him the other dances you’ve learned as well, he’ll die at just the thought of it

so he puts his hands on your waist and pulls you close

“you’ll be the death of me, you idiot...”

Satan

it’s the middle of the night

and even though everyone’s asleep, satan is up again to read something, but there’s something distracting him

your room was above his, and as you both had your windows open, he was able to hear the music you played at this hour

each second, satan got a bit more annoyed, until he stood up to ask you politely to turn it off already

he opened the door to your room, revealing you on a chair, with your leg stretched out and you going through your hair

for a few seconds you didn’t realise satan standing there, and you continued your dance as powerful as before

he didn’t say anything either - being mesmerized by your elegant dance and your seductive movements

it kind of made him forget what he came for, now he was just standing there, admiring your form

without realizing himself, his eyes followed you longingly, as you danced your way to the top of the chair,

turning around,

seeing satan,

and falling forward because you were surprised

“MC! are you okay? i’m sorry for startling you...”

he helped you stand up by holding your hand, but you were too shy to look at him, getting caught like this

you revealed to him that you tried dancing to red velvet’s “be natural”

“you don’t need to be shy, you can show me even more if you’d like,” he teases and brings your hand to his lips to place a kiss

you’re flustered, but you like the way he enjoyed your dance

“i could be your chair too”

Asmo

it was raining again in devildom, and even though you promised asmo that you would go out together to visit a night festival, plans had to be cancelled due to the weather

to not disappoint asmo, you came up with the idea to just have a small party for the both of you in his room, to which he happily said yes

a few hours later, after you’ve bought some drinks and snacks, you were giggling and talking about things

as “bad boy” by red velvet came on, you excitedly jumped up, and even though you would never offer that normally, the alcohol in you spoke, and you asked if you should dance to the song

of course asmo cheered you on to do it, he likes the song after you’ve showed him a few weeks ago

even though you’d normally be embarrassed to death, that feeling flew right over your head and you started moving your body according to the choreography of the song

asmo instantly couldn’t take his eyes off you, next to your beautiful moves to the velvet song, he couldn’t help but smile at your radiance

but his innocent smile turns into something darker the more he follows the swing of your hips and the way you bite your lips when you make eye contact with him

“are you trying to tease me, MC?~”

you cheekily shrug your shoulders and sit next to him again

“you’re beautiful~” he whispers and gives you the first kiss of many, many following along with many, many other things to make you prove the way your body can move

Beel

even though you definitely didn’t like working out as much as beel does, you told him you’d go along with him to gym

beel was happy about that, but he was a bit worried about what exactly you would do the whole time

as he started working out, you settled in at the small dancing area very close to him, and he realized that you would spend your time with dancing

a few minutes passed, and every few seconds beel would glance over at you

he wondered what you were listening to, but you seemed happy and energetic, and if you were, he’d be too!

at some point your dancing style changed from cheerful to more seductive, while still having a fast pace

he liked seeing you like this, but something bothered him as he saw how other demons looked at you the way he did

he didn’t know what it was, but you didn’t seem to mind

at some point it was enough for him, and he asked you to follow you to another room, revealing a bigger, empty dance room

“i just want to see you dance here”, he smiled with his blush apparent on his cheeks

he sat down and hid his little jealousy from before, but now he was able to see your whole body and to concentrate only on you

you played start on your phone and “monster” by red velvet’s irene & seulgi resonated in the room

beel was impressed by your sharp and quick moves, your hands following the trace of your body, your hips swaying from side to side, but he was even more mesmerized by your focused and somehow darker eyes

as you were done with your dance and turned back to him, he clapped for you with a blushing face

he felt more relaxed now, but at the same time he felt his heart beating quicker and his hands trembling

and maybe you could help him with that

Belphie

you were searching for belphie everywhere

as you were just sitting in the living room together, he sneakily stole your phone and left the room, but you didn't realize at first, it took you about three minutes

"belphieee! give me my phone back!" you shouted through the halls as you headed up the stairs to the attic

meanwhile belphie, who knew your code, was scrolling through your gallery, a video catching his attention immediately

the thumbnail was you in a dance room, hands on your hips

he started the video and realized it was a dance practise you filmed of yourself, the name of the file being "psycho_redvelvet_dance"

like belphie always is, he prepared to tease you, but his mind only focused on you in that moment

your head tilted back or you slowly standing up made his mind wander to other places and a sly smirk appeared on his face

you entered the attic and got into his bed fast, trying to pry away your phone as you saw the video he was watching

a blush grew on your face as you tried even more desperately to get your phone back now

belphie caught your wrist and chuckled, "you're a good dancer, MC, but i'd rather see it in real life than just on a video" he cheekily requested

you shook your head, never ever planning on showing him, but he wouldn't let go of you

"then at least show me how you move your body right now"

Diavolo

for extra credit points, you asked him if you could join a voluntary dance class and of course he agreed

after that, he didn't hear much from you about that matter

as the semester slowly ended though, the evaluations for dance classes were starting which consisted of a solo dance which will be graded

even though diavolo usually does not have to be involved in evaluations, he was asked to grade your performance as you're the only exchange student of that class

he received the video of your dancing to a song called "be natural" by red velvet

the moment you started dancing, you captured his interest with the interesting choreography

but it wasn’t only that, it was you personally who gave off a whole different aura than usually

it was like dancing changed you, but knowing that you have this whole other side to you, excited diavolo

your movements and your expressions suited the tone of the song perfectly

he never really new that you were good at dancing – but this proved it

it was quite a turn-on and his mind started drifting somewhere else

before doing anything stupid, he closed the video and came to search for you

surely enough he told you that your final grade would be a perfect 100, but not without his hands roaming your body and you thanking him in another way

Barbatos

a ball organized by diavolo came closer and closer, and you still had the trouble of not knowing how to dance properly for the occasion

you were searching for someone who could teach you perfectly, but not too strictly, and the first person you thought of was barbatos

even though you were shy with your request, he happily accepted your request and told you when and where to meet

you had planned to get there earlier, not wanting to make barbatos wait because after all he did this for you

the room was located inside the demon lord’s castle, much smaller and emptier room others, accompanied with some grand mirrors

you settled in, waiting and waiting, realizing you had been there too early...

barbatos entered the room, punctual like always, but catching you in a trance as you danced to a song

the song seemed to be the new popular song from the human world called “monster”

barbatos remembered you talking about that group and how much you liked them, he didn’t want to be impolite and interrupt you

he also knew that it was impolite to stare without your knowledge - but he couldn’t quite resist

your eyes watched your every move in the mirror in front of you, being sure to not hold back or underdance any movements, practising your expressions at the same time as well

he waited for you to notice him, but you kept going until the last second

“it seems like you aren’t a novice when it comes to dancing, MC,” barbatos chimes in and flashes a soft smile

you apologized for making him wait like that, but he shrugged it off

somehow he was looking forward to the close contact you’ll be having, hoping for you to show him the same longing expression you’ve heard before and feeling your moving body against his

Solomon

"you still owe me, did you forget?”

solomon, as he often did, caught you off guard

“remember when i let you cheat off my test?” that rang a bell in your mind, but it had been weeks since it happened

of course, to show your gratitude, you cheerfully asked him what it is what he wishes for, but what he said didn’t exactly excite you

“dance for me”

... first of all, it sounded wrong, second of all, you did not want to dance for him

you didn’t like dancing in front of others that much, and you even wondered how solomon knows about your hobby

after a long time of trying to convince him to choose something else or trying to persuade him with money, he just wouldn’t change his mind

you couldn’t deny that it wasn’t a weird request, but knowing solomon’s expectations are always high, you got more nervous and wanted to give it your all

at least you were able to choose the song, your forced confidence making you choose “bad boy”

standing in solomon’s room, his always innocent looking smile giving you the go, you give yourself in to the rhythm

you’re performing like you’re on stage, following each step and focusing on your facial expressions toward him

his smile didn’t fade, but you could feel his heart beating a little quicker, even a faint blush was apparent on his cheeks

your confidence grew by second, it was too late to tone it down now

you ended your dance perfectly, his eyes following you from head to toe, but stopping at your beaming eyes

“MC, i asked for you to dance, and not seduce me...” he chuckled in a low whisper almost, making it seem like a joke, but his hand snaking around your waist and his lips coming closer proved otherwise

Simeon

another day at rad was over for simeon, and he prepared heading back to purgatory hall

as someone hushed by the classroom, and he realized it was you, he remembered that he still had your notebook for human world history

exams were coming up, so he tried to give it back to you as soon as possible

simeon stepped out of the classroom and shouted for you, yet you didn’t answer

“are they wearing headphones?”

he rushed after you, but you seemed in a rush too, and a few doors later, he lost sight of you

he sighed and planned on going home now,

but then he heard music from somewhere

curiosity kicked in again, and knowing there’s a high chance it could be you, he followed the sound

as he opened the door to the auditorium of the school, simeon saw you on the stage with your back to the door

carefully, he closed the door and sat down at the nearest seat, waiting for your next move

the music starts again, “psycho” by red velvet

you begin to dance to the beat, the light shining on the stage illuminating your silhouette as simeon can’t help but watch

he’s impressed by your skills, and even though the song shows a dark and mature style, you look like an angel to him

the song is coming to an end, you’re standing there as if you’re imagining a sea of lights chanting for you

the illusion doesn’t last long as you realize you are alone like always, but this time, someone’s clapping

“it was beautiful, MC!” simeon exlaims and stands up, and even though you’re a bit shy, it makes you happy to hear someone compliment you

he’s coming closer, you get off the stage and you’re suddenly standing before him 

“were you trying to tempt an angel with that dance?”

“if you felt that way, maybe it’s your fault” you laughed but you couldn’t hide your faint blush

having totally forgotten about the reason why he wanted to see you, he asked you for another dance on the stage, which you happily did

[bucky-iss-bae]

The Friend-zone (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

A/N: This is probably the worst thing I’ve written, I’ve lost my flow, I just ugh, I tried and I overwrote this all but I hope you don’t hate it. Sorry for how bad it is, I’ll be like me again, one day xoxo 

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Fandom: MCU/Marvel

Prompts: “Are you drunk?” - “Not nearly enough.”“I think I may be slightly more drunk than I thought.” “You know I hear you talking, but I still don’t have my coffee.” “I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”

Warnings: Gals being drunk - Swearing - Full of grammar and spelling mistakes bc its 3am 

Word count: 3000 ish (Sorry, it probs would’ve been better short) 

Masterlist Fandom list

Working so closely with the Avengers meant being friends with the Avengers. It was a good job, you earned good money, even had your own space at the compound, and had the best mentors. It was great because you loved the company and became a part of their family. You worked hard, a direct contact for the avengers but behind a screen, you never went out in the field, only when you were stuck in a van with everything you needed for your job. It was weird considering how many people would’ve been better for the job, but having Tony as a close mentor, you knew his systems better than anyone did.

It was an intense job to have, especially when working with some very dangerous people, as well as very important people.

And although you were young compared to some, you were mature enough to take on everything that you did. But being young also meant being able to have fun at any formal events and parties that Tony threw, it meant being able to get drunk, let your hair down, and have fun. Which you took pride in doing so.

Two people you classed as some of your closest friends were Bucky Barnes, and Sam Wilson. You don’t know how you became closest to them both, Bucky, you had gotten to know over the last few years because you were someone outside of the violence. You bought him into the 21st century through friendship. But this man along with Sam Wilson were the two you got along with the most. Peter also held a special place in your heart, you and Peter almost had a sibling relationship, but other two constantly fight him with him like older, annoying brothers as well.

The one thing, out of everything that you’ve done to help the Avengers is how gradually, overtime, you caught feelings for none other than James Buchanan Barnes. You don’t know when, or how. You just remember joking around with him and Wilson, and the way Barnes was with you, it made your heart beat that little faster, and his jokes that little bit funnier. You were constantly surrounded by him. The only thing you were greatful for was the fact you have your own apartment in the city, one that you definitely use as an escape.

You had drink after drink at the current gala that Tony had thrown. You donated money, you done a lot of pleasantries, but no one really knows who you are, so you were almost free reigned to do whatever you liked without embarrassing yourself. But of course, that didn’t stop you.

“Are you drunk?” Sam asked standing beside you. He looked very sharp, wearing a suit that you helped him buy, a fresh trim, and a glass of champagne in hand.

“Not nearly enough” you groaned in response, you wanted to be drunk, you wanted to forget about the feelings you had for certain people, but that someone had to look amazing right now. They had to look like a freaking model that belonged on the cover of every fashion magazine out there, they looked like they should be the face of every cologne out there. Instead they were here, quietly socialising by Steves side, looking as good as ever. Your feelings for Bucky Barnes were just getting worse and worse. Sam knew this, Peter knew this and both Wanda and Natasha knew. No one else, and if anyone else did know, they definitely kept it to themselves.

“You know, as much as I find it amusing watching you stand her and yearn for a man who finds it difficult to keep his hair in place, I really think you should talk to him one day”

You gawked at Sam, “I’m sorry what? Talk to him? Yeah I talk to him everyday Wilson.”

“You know what I mean Y/N,” He said nudging your shoulder. “you need to talk about you know, your feelings for once. You’re all about communication, can’t you see the way he is”

You shook your head, “He’s not any certain way. He’s just Bucky, the way he always is, the way he is with us, with Steve, he’s different with each set of people depending on his comfort levels, that’s how everyone is. We don’t need to talk about feelings though, he doesnt know communication with feelings”

“No? I definitely think you should. And I also think you need another drink” A waitress was passing by you both, you swapped your glasses despite the dire need of something stronger.

“You know, I think I do want to get a little more drunk than I am. Because right now, I don’t even feel buzzed”

“You sure as hell look it, lean on my arm kid, we can get you wasted”

You grinned up at Sam, “Dance with me Wilson” You said dragging his hand across the floor, you felt eyes on you both as you danced together and Sam grabbing you more drinks.

After some time you had to go to the toilet, you stumbled your way there, Nat helping you half way until she got dragged into conversation which left you stumbling to the toilet yourself.

You looked at yourself, your hair still in place, lipstick had slightly come off, but it didn’t look smudged, so you reapplied this. You deemed yourself presentable before leaving the bathroom.

You left only to bump into Bucky who was stood there leaning aginst the wall, when your eyes met a small smile fell on his lips, all you could think is how beautiful he looked. Honestly, beautiful.

His hair was a bit loose, a few strands at the front of his face, his piercing blue eyes matched the blue on his bowtie, which had also come undone. His beard was neatly trimmed down, months ago you badgered him, on and on, talking about how much he suited a beard and how he shouldn’t shave. After a few weeks, a beard was nicely growing on his face, and since he’s kept it thick, but trimmed to perfection.

“Hey sweetheart” He murmured once he saw you,

“Bucky” You grinned loudly, trying to hug him, instead tripping over yourself and landing in his arms,

“Looks like I’m fallin’ for ya buck” You had a cheeky look on your face, but only saw an unreadable expression on his, it frustrated you that sometimes you thought you could read Bucky, but you knew deep down you couldn’t. You just wish he saw how you feel about him.

“Y/N��� He smiled, “Looks like Sam gave you one too many drinks”

You grinned at that, “Uh huh, you should’ve joined us, instead you were being the mature adult you are”

“Yeah, Y/N?” He smiled down at you, “I mean you seem a little drunk there, sure if I were with you both, you’d only be a little tipsy”

You rolled your eyes and huffed, “Uh huh, an influence like you. Buck you ought to know that you, Mr. James Barnes, are a terrible, terrible, influence. But I’m only a little-ickle bit drunk”

“Uh huh, is that why you’re trippin’ over your own feet?” He had a small amused smirk plastered on that handsome face of his that you just love.

“Buck” He you said grabbing his face in your hands, “I already said, I was just fallin’ for ya, and you caught me like the handsome gent you are”

His breath caught in his throat slightly, as he looked at your face, you hadn’t realised the close proximity between the two of you, his eyes went down to your lips, and yours to his, you don’t know what overcome you, if he leaned forward, or if youre the one who initated it, but the two of you kissed.

It was soft and gentle, almost testing one another, and then again, until the two of you were properly kissing a drunken kiss. Your hands still holding his face in place, you could feel his hands wrapped around your waist, it took a moment for your brain to catch up, you were stood here, kissing Bucky Barnes. The man you were basically in love with. The man you classed as one of your best friends.

You pulled away abruptly, gasping as you did, “I’m so sorry Buck” You whispered before trying to find your way back inside.

You don’t know what happened, you kissed him, he kissed you, why did you do it? What if now he thinks you only kissed him because you’re drunk. What if he kissed you because he’s slightly drunk?

“Sammy” you called, “Sam” You grabbed his arm, “I need to go, help me get a taxi please”

“Y/N, I thought you were with Bucky” He said a worried look on your face, when he mentioned Bucky all you could think is the broken look on his face as you pulled away from him and out of his arms.

“Sam, please. And I just, I fucked it all up” You grumbled, a sad look on your face not knowing what you’ve potentially thrown away.

“What?” he asked pulling me aside and towards the enterence, “I fucked it up, we kissed, and I ran” you cried to him,

You didn’t have a chance to see the shock on Sams face, instead you heard Steve approaching you both,

“Hey, you two good?” He asked,

“Yeah, man, we’re good. Well, she’s a bit wasted. I’ll get her back to her apartment; can you go check on Bucky?”

“Yeah of course, make sure you get home safely Y/N” He said kissing your forehead before going to find his best friend that you kissed and ran from.

**

Waking up the following morning was a mission, the hangover nearly killing you off, you heard the TV on loud and couldn’t remember how you got home, who you were with. All that kept on replaying in your head was the kiss. The kiss that meant everything to you.

You grabbed your robe before brushing your teeth and them going out to see who was invading your space,

“Ahhh, the heartbreaker awakens” Sam announced loudly,

“Wilson. Don’t even start. I can’t talk to anyone hungover without coffee in my system, let alone someone bullying me” You grumbled,

“Awh, c’mon Y/N, you finally had your chance, and you ran. What is with that?”

“You know I hear you talking, but I still don’t have my coffee.”

He shook his head and went to pour you some, “So go on, what happened? You’ve been waiting for that chance for how long, and then you ran? Steve said Buck was really torn at the end of last night, couldn’t figure out what happened. Took me all of a second to know”

You just snatched the mug out of his hand, wondering why he’s in your apartment this early, and why he’s tormenting you with the events of last night.

“What happened is, I bitched out and ran. I had my opportunity, but was too drunk to appreciate it” You grumbled,

“That’s a shame, Good job I called him over here, I said you wanted to talk”

It took you a few sips of scalding hot coffee to understand what just left Sam Wilsons mouth. First, he invites himself to your apartment, your food, and your coffee. Then he invites the man you love, kissed and then ran from whilst drunk over. All while you look like garbage.

“You did what” You screeched, “Sam when is he getting here?”

“No idea... soon?” He shrugged not a care in the world,

“Wilson, this is important information, spit it out. Just because I’m not trained the way you are, does not mean I can’t cause damage”

“Woah chill Y/N, he’ll be here in about half an hour. I told him you’ll order lunch, and I’ll even leave before he gets here. Just be greatful that I’m such a good friend, I bought you home, slept in your guest bedroom, and made sure you didn’t die from alcohol poisoning”

“I wasn’t that bad” You whined, “But thank you, although I still don’t appreciate the bullying”

He grinned at you, “What else would I be good for huh? You’re like my kid sister, of course I’m going to bully you, now if I were you, I’d go look somewhat presentable, Bucky will be here soon”

You groaned at that, shocked that Sam done something like this to you, but then again, you put yourself in this position, and Sam is basically giving you a kick up the ass for it.

When Sam left, you finished your coffee before having a quick shower, you were disgustingly hungover and all you wanted to do was climb into your comfiest pyjamas and sit in front of the TV ignoring the world. On days where the other girls were free, no secret ops, no training, you had a little pamper day, you would even prefer that over the conversation that’s to come. You had no clue what he would say, what you would say, and weather you would be shoved right into the friendzone.

**

Between the time that Sam had left, and Bucky arrived, you managed to dry your hair, get changed into something somewhat presentable. You tidied your apartment as much as you could in the few minutes you had before he knocked on your door.

Your heart dropped to your stomach, too scared to face the man on the other side of the door.

You walked over to look through the peephole. From what you could see, he had on some jeans, a hoodie, layered with a leather jacket. He had a glove on his metal hand, and a cap covering his hair.  

You took a deep breath before opened the door; his body froze up before he turned to see you stood there. Whenever he saw you it took his breath away. Last night when he saw you, all he could think is how he wished you were on his arm. How the two of you should’ve gone together and left together.

Whenever he saw you in the compound, seeing you first thing in the morning made his day that bit better, he wished you were the first thing he saw every morning of everyday.

Staring at your beautiful face now, it made his heart swell, despite his mind constantly going back to last night, he finally had you in his arms, he finally had you, for you to run. It scared him, he might’ve messed it all up forever. Standing here right now gave him hope, all he wanted to do was take you into his arms, apologise for yesterday, and start from scratch. But he didn’t know how or where to start.

“Bucky” You whispered,

He gave you half a smile while takng his hat off, “Hey”

“Hey, um come in. Sorry everything is a mess”

He shook his head and observed the tidy apartment, he had only been here a few times, never just the two of them. And nothing was a mess, it was perfect. He took off his leather jacket and glove, hanging the jacket up and leaving his glove on the side.

He didn’t know what to do with himself but opted to sit on the couch across from the television. Football highlights were on, but he knew for a fact you weren’t watching this.

“Did you want anything, tea or coffee?” You asked nervously,

“I’m good thank you Y/N” He murmured, “You wanted to talk? Although, I’m positive that Sam set this up”

You had a sheepish look on your face and nodded sitting beside him, “Buck, I need to apologise for last night. I had no right to invade your personal space the way I did, I had no right… no right to kiss you. I’m sorry for crossing boundaries, I feel awful for everything, I didn’t mean to run from you the way I did”

He stared at you, unable to read any expression on your face, he was deep in thought because for James Buchanan Barnes, he knew his feelings for you were strong, and right now he’s wondering if you regretted the kiss because of him or not.

“Why did you run?” He asked, he needed to know why you ran.

You scrunched your face up a few times, trying to think of the best way to answer him,

“Because… what if now, a stupid mistake I made, I kissed you, and our friendship is just… it’s not us? I ran because I was scared, I messed up, could’ve messed it all up because of one... stupid mistake”

“What if, I’m glad you made that stupid mistake?” He asked his blue eyes staring into your own, “What if it’s not ruined our friendship? Made it better even?”

You stared at him in shock, how is it that Sam Wilson, the man that bullies you, pushes you into this conversation,

“Made it better?” You asked him, is he being real right now?

“I’ve wanted something like last night for so long, but… I don’t feel like I know what love is. I don’t know how to be that man I once was when it comes to relationships. I panicked, but shit, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want that to happen”

“What?” You whispered, “You wanted to kiss me?”

“I’ll be real, I wanna do a whole lot more than just kiss you”

Your jaw hung slightly, and he just chuckled a little, a small nervous laugh.

His eyes were sqinted slightly, a slight look on relif on his face, “I know I kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”

He didn’t even let you answer, instead this time he leaned forward and kissed you.

This kiss was so much different than your last, it wasn’t sloppy and drunk, it held the emotion and passion you didn’t realise you had between the two of you. It meant that you weren’t in the friendzone, instead getting drunk because of feelings was a good way to regret expressing your feelings for it to come back around and have the man you love sitting there kissing you.

You didnt think half an hour ago when you woke up that it would take all of five minutes to talk to Bucky to be sat here in his arms,

“Promise not to run this time” He murmered against your lips,

“I promise” You whispered back, a smile stretched across your face.

[astudyinfreewill]

"i almost lost you" for pynch please

so this is 3 months late because i’m literally the worst but HERE ENJOY THIS THING that was gonna be a short drabble but devolved into 4k of angst/fluff. sorry for the wait anon, and thanks to @adamparrush for helping me navigate the intricacies of american high school schedules!

(you told me) this is right were it begins || read on ao3

‘Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railingsAnd you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

Is There Somewhere - Halsey

The aftermath of dealing with the demon leaves behind a wake of emotional debris they were not – couldn’t have been – fully prepared to tackle. They all have a lot on their plate: assessing the damage, picking up the broken pieces, allowing the wounds to scar over.

There’s the matter of Gansey, and what exactly he is now that he’s been brought back to life. There’s the matter of Noah, who had been fleeting and barely-there for a while, but is now completely gone, leaving the group to struggle with grieving someone who was already dead. There’s the matter of Henry, and how he fits into this new, fragile balance they have.

And, of course, there’s the matter of Gansey-and-Blue, and the matter of Adam-and-Ronan.

The first couple of weeks go by completely smoothly – dreamlike, almost. Adam goes back to school, and starts picking his jobs back up, shift by shift. Ronan drops out – officially, this time – and goes back to the Barns. Declan and Matthew come back to town for a short while, and Aurora gets a funeral, the elaborately carved white coffin as lovely and vacant as she had been in life. (Adam doesn’t really understand dream people, or what it’s like to lose a beloved parent, but he understands enough to recognize the fractures in the Lynch brothers: the cracks in Declan’s politician facade, the clouds rolling over Matthew’s sunny disposition. He understands enough to see Ronan break again: quieter, this time; with less anger than when Niall was killed. But he still breaks.)

They don’t talk about it, because they just don’t do that kind of thing – they never have; they wouldn’t know how. Instead of words, Adam offers himself: a shoulder for Ronan to rest his head on, lips trailing over his cheek, a hand lightly placed on his when they’re at Nino’s. Gentle, anchoring touches to keep him from spiralling into his grief. He drives down to the Barns after work and plays with Opal when Ronan is too heartsick to manage it; he lets Ronan crash at St. Agnes at 3 in the morning, when it’s pitch black outside and the world weighs hopelessly on Ronan’s shoulders, and shields him with his body, curled around the black hooks of Ronan’s tattoo.

Sometimes it’s enough. And sometimes it isn’t.

The fact of the matter is that before being Adam-and-Ronan, they were Adam and Ronan: two satellites orbiting planet Gansey, inevitably colliding with each other over and over, and only taking stock of the damage when the impact had already left craters in both of them. Even as they’d slowly become friends, then better friends, then something more altogether, Adam had never harboured any illusions that they would ever stop fighting. So, logically, he should not have expected them to stop butting heads now just because they were… whatever they were (…together? Boyfriends? That was something else they had not talked about).

But Adam hadn’t been thinking logically ever since Ronan had kissed him in his childhood bedroom, taking reason away and replacing it with soft white light and the foreign feeling of being loved, loved, loved. If he had, he might have seen it coming when their new, unspoken peace suddenly came unspooled around them on a winter night.

As it is, though, it’s ten minutes to midnight and Adam is tired. The end of the semester is fast approaching, Aglionby teachers apparently trying their best to fit as many test as they can in the last few days; his shift at Boyd’s has been relentless today, the garage drastically understaffed because three of the mechanics are home with the flu. He stayed up until 3am last night revising for an algebra quiz, skipped today’s lunch in favour of cramming in some last-minute Latin homework, and he knows tomorrow’s schedule is not looking any better. His stomach growls loudly, the grilled cheese sandwich he had for dinner not nearly enough to make up for the meal he missed, and all he wants is to crawl into bed and catch up on lost sleep, but he has college applications to write; he has sent out most of them already, but there are still a few he needs to finalise by the end of December, and they’re not going to write themselves.

He’s so absorbed in his work that he barely hears the first knock on the door, his head only jerking up when a second round of knocks comes, louder and more impatient. There’s no question of who it is – there’s only one person it could be at this time of night – and normally Adam would go greet him at the door, kiss him, pull him inside by his belt loops. Tonight, though, he’s just so exhausted and hungry and done that he can’t even bring himself to get up. “Come in,” he calls out wearily, scratching out a mistake in the rough draft of his cover letter.

Ronan walks in, bringing with him an eddy of cold night air and a metaphorical storm cloud over his head. Adam doesn’t know what it is, exactly – but something in him picks up on Ronan’s obvious bad mood, and his own already grim mood ricochets dully off it, grating at his patience.

“God, Parrish, how the fuck are you still working?” That tone, the bored, casually dismissive one, has not made an appearance since before – before the demon, before Aurora, before the kissing and this newborn thing between them. Adam can’t say he’s missed it, and his hackles instinctively rise with the muscle memory of a dozen previous fights.

“Because I have no choice,” he huffs, dryly. “I could’ve been more ahead of schedule if I hadn’t had to spend all of lunch break on Latin homework. I tried calling you to check if I had the vocabulary right, but you didn’t pick up.” As you never do, is the unspoken but still obvious add-on to that sentence. Adam knows it’s petty, but he can’t keep the petulance out of his voice. This is another thing he had expected to change after, even though he had no logical grounds for it, and it annoys him to be proven wrong.

“I was out,” Ronan shrugs, apparently unperturbed, but he has felt the silent barb, and his own defenses rise in response, in an all-too-familiar mechanism: guilt leading to self-deprecation leading to insecurity leading to anger. His shoulders are tense as he props himself down on the floor against Adam’s bed.

Adam watches him out of the corner of his eyes. Ronan is a spring coiled tight, the black cloud trailing after him apparently only getting denser and denser as he chews restlessly at the leather bands on his wrist. His eyes are bright and his cheeks are pink, as if he’d been driving with his windows down. As if–

Adam puts his pen down with deliberate calm.

“Have you been racing?”

Ronan snorts. “Okay, Gansey.”

Adam turns to look at him more fully, and despite the fact that yes, historically it’s Gansey who’s been the one dealing with a street-racing Ronan, Adam has still seen it often enough to know the signs. The adrenaline crackling in and around him, the restless way he taps his boot against the floor, the combative glint in his eyes.

“Well, have you?”

“So what if I have?” it’s a childish response, and once upon a time, Adam might have fired back something cutting for that alone, rolling his eyes at Ronan’s antics. Now, he knows better than to do that, but he’s unable to stop his thoughts from derailing frantically in another direction.

It’s mid-December. Even in Virginia, the weather has been hostile, especially over the past week, with on-and-off spells of merciless rain, which combined with the temperature dropping at night makes for a constant chill in the air. And it makes the roads freeze over at night.

There’s ice on the roads, and Ronan’s been racing.

Adam’s heartbeat picks up speed in his chest, going faster for every mile he imagines Ronan going over the speed limit, shooting down a poorly-lit country road, trying to outmaneuver some good-for-nothing delinquent.

“Are you an idiot?” he blurts out, before he can think better of it.

“What the fuck, Parrish? Just because you’re busy applying to fancy schools you don’t get to be all high and mighty with the resident drop-out,” Ronan sneers, but there’s a beat of genuine hurt under the sarcasm. Adam hears it, but he can’t make himself acknowledge it right now. His chest feels too tight, and his mind keeps reliving the same dreadful possibility.

Gas pedal. Gear shift. Wheels on slippery ice. Crash.

“I thought you’d stopped racing,” he says, forcing his voice to remain even.

Ronan shrugs. “It’s fun.”

That’s not a lie, not exactly; Ronan does love racing. But it’s a lie right now. Because this, this isn’t Ronan racing for fun. This is Ronan racing the way he did right after Niall died, or the way he did before he could master his night horrors. This is Ronan lost and helpless and grieving for his dead mother, reeling from almost losing his best friend, unmoored with the fear of Adam leaving for college. This is Ronan racing like maybe he doesn’t care so much if he wraps the BMW around a tree.

Adam slams his notebook closed. “Yeah? How fun is it going to be when you crash the damn car because you couldn’t be bothered to check if there’s ice on the ground?”

Ronan rolls his eyes. “Jesus, Parrish, can you relax and take the stick out of your ass for like five seconds?” he drawls. Adam knows, technically, that he’s just committed his first mistake: he’s getting angry, which means Ronan will act as infuriatingly aloof as he can to balance it out. But he can’t seem to stop himself, hurtling towards anger the same way he imagines the BMW skidding along a dark road to a fiery end.

He imagines Ronan on the ground, crushed under metal sheet and debris.

He sees Ronan on the ground, blood pooling around him as the demon unmakes him piece by painful piece, gasping for air and desperately creating with every ragged breath.

He can’t stand it.

“If you’re gonna be an asshole, you can just leave. I’ve got shit to do anyway,” he bites out, getting up and gesturing towards the door.

Ronan immediately gets up as well, hurt and rejection tumbling into anger. “Of course you do. Like you have time for anything apart from your fucking homework.”

“Oh, give me a break, Lynch” Adam exclaims, his voice rising in volume despite his best efforts. “Excuse me for wanting a future. Not all of us care so little about their lives they can just drop out of school and spend all their time racing cars.”

“What the fuck is your problem, huh?” Ronan shoots back, stepping closer to him in the cramped little room. “No, really, what crawled up your ass and died? It’s none of your business what I do with my free time now I’m not stuck in that shithole of a school anymore.”

It’s a sore spot – unlike Gansey, Adam has always recognised the futility of trying to force Ronan to stay in school against his wishes, but it doesn’t mean he agrees with the choice. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t miss him. He can’t help himself from leaning closer, into Ronan’s personal space, matching him step for step.

“Right, of course, because sticking it out a few more months in high school was gonna kill you, but speeding down frozen roads in the dark for shits and giggles isn’t.”

“Jesus Christ, would you get the hell off my back?! I’m fucking good at driving, and I know what I’m doing! Why the fuck do you even care if I race?”

“Because I almost lost you!” Adam all but yells at him. His fists clench spasmodically at his sides, and he feels the bite of it, wondering if he’s broken skin; he wants to punch a wall, kick a chair, something, but every time the idea of violence crosses his mind he sees Blue’s frightened face, and a wave of self-loathing clamps his muscles into place.

Ronan seems to be similarly frozen into place, his eyes wide. They’re both breathing hard, despite standing perfectly still. Adam takes a shameful step back, unable to meet Ronan’s eyes, his fists still balled hard at his sides.

“You don’t know– you have no idea–” he starts, low and unsteady, his traitorous accent weighing on every vowel. “I had to watch as that thing took you apart. Watch as it killed you. I thought it was over. I thought you–” his voice cracks and he shakes his head, biting down on his lip to keep his eyes from welling up, because he’s not doing this, he can’t do this – but he is anyway, his ribs constricting around his lungs painfully, his throat working uselessly against a lump. Everything inside him is chaos, knocked asunder with the knowledge of how Ronan – this miraculous boy, this god-like dreamer – is ultimately just as fragile as any human, perhaps more so because of how much life he holds within himself.

He sees, again, Ronan unmade by the demon, but he also sees Ronan drowning in Cabeswater, sinking in acid to try to save Opal; he remembers the desperation with which he’d tethered himself to the ley line and asked Cabeswater to please save him please please save him just save him. He remembers Ronan’s dream double, lying on the floor of the church they’re standing above just now, convulsing and bleeding out, looking so much like the real Ronan that even the memory twists Adam’s stomach painfully. He remembers rushing to the hospital after getting a panicked phone call from Gansey and seeing Ronan in a hospital bed, pale as death, his arms bandaged with red-stained gauze.

He remembers his own hands clenching around Ronan’s throat to choke the life out of him.

The fear and disgust are an almost physical weight on his chest, and he still can’t bring himself to look at Ronan, even as he finds his voice.

“I know maybe you don’t care about your life right now,” he says quietly. “But if you care about me at all, even a little bit– please, please, just– stay alive.” He closes his eyes, recognising the battle as lost when he feels dampness against his eyelashes but too tired to care, sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion and emotional upheaval getting the better of him.

The next moment, Ronan’s hands are on his, taking hold of his fists and gently teasing them open. Adam looks up through slightly blurry eyes to see angry red crescent marks on his palms, and Ronan running his thumbs over them. Ronan’s face is doing complicated things, regret and confusion and grief warring with each other, his eyes still wide with something like wonder. “I’m sorry,” he says, looking helpless, like he doesn’t think that’s enough. Adam blinks back more tears and thinks somewhat hysterically that this is the first time Ronan’s ever apologised first for a fight.

“God, don’t– I’m the one who should–” Adam stumbles, then heaves out a ragged sigh. “Don’t be sorry. Be safe.”

He allows himself to look at Ronan’s face more steadily, and watches his expression shift through something like shame, then pain, his eyes very bright, like maybe he’s close to crying as well, and Adam’s heart flips over in his chest, wishing desperately he could undo the entire night, go back to before they ever fought. Ronan brings Adam’s hand up to his cheek, presses the palm there, then turns his head just enough to brush his lips to it, barely a kiss.

“It hurts,” Ronan says in a very small voice, breath warm against his hand. It’s vague, and he doesn’t offer any clarification, but Adam knows what he means. Losing Aurora, losing Cabeswater, losing Gansey without knowing how they were going to get him back, his treacherous dreams telling him he’s going to lose Adam as well.

Adam is new to love, but he thinks he’s starting to understand loss, because for the first time in his life he feels he has things to lose. He thinks about Persephone, the first adult to ever be good to him. He thinks about Cabeswater, whose absence still feels like a gaping hole in his chest. He thinks again about the possibility of losing Ronan, losing Gansey, losing Blue, losing Opal, and his hands tighten around Ronan’s.

“I know,” he says. “I’m sorry.” He means it in more ways than he can put words to, his eyes dropping to the floor again. But Ronan, perceptive as he can sometimes be – and Adam knows this by now, should be used to it, but it somehow always blindsides him – seems to pick up on it anyway.

“Parrish,” he says softly, “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

“I know,” Adam murmurs. Unlike Ronan, he’s no stranger to lying. He knows that it’s not his fault – not technically. But all he can think of is the demon using his hands to strangle Ronan, the demon using his eyes to spy on them. Ronan’s hands covered in Aurora’s blood and Adam standing by, unable to help, a useless magician.

“Adam,” Ronan says, more steady now. “It’s not your fault.” He slides Adam’s hand down, to rest against his neck, thumb pressed to the pulse point. Fear lurches deep in Adam’s gut as he instinctively recoils, trying to take his hand back. Ronan doesn’t let him.

Instead, Ronan – stubborn, impossible Ronan – takes his other hand and places it on his throat as well, an achingly tender mimicry of Adam’s worst nightmare.

“It’s not your fault,” he repeats, conviction weighing in every word. “That was not you. It could never be you.”

“Ronan,” Adam tries to protest, with a note of pleading. Ronan’s throat is warm and smooth and alive, and he forces his hands to stay as limp as they can and resist the urge to touch.

“Adam.”

They just look at each other for a long moment. It probably looks stupid from the outside, Adam thinks distantly; but all he wants right now is to collapse against Ronan’s chest, to hide his face into his shoulder, to listen to his heartbeat’s constant reminder that they’ve won, they’re alive, they get to have this.

“I trust you,” Ronan says, his tone gentler than it is on most occasions. Adam is reminded fleetingly of baby mice and baby ravens, back when he was still discovering that Ronan wasn’t all sharp edges and thorns.

“What if I don’t trust myself?”

“Then you’re an idiot,” Ronan replies easily. “But it’s okay, because I trust you enough for both of us.”

Adam swallows, the motion almost painful. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I trust you more than anyone.” It’s the truth, because Ronan never lies.

Adam wants to cry again, but he doesn’t. Instead he allows his hands to move, to settle more firmly around Ronan’s neck, not pushing but feeling, gently pressing his index fingertips to the spot behind Ronan’s ears, his thumbs to the pulse under his chin, all smooth skin and rough stubble.

Ronan closes his eyes and lets out a long exhale from his mouth, letting his hands fall off of Adam’s as if giving Adam control has dislodged a weight from his shoulders, allowing him to breathe more easily.

The sudden surge of love clutching at Adam’s heart right then is stronger than even the ley line coming to life inside him, and he can’t help himself from chasing that exhale, pressing his lips to Ronan’s, softly at first, then more firmly, again and again and again. When they part for breath, their foreheads stay touching, Adam’s head tilted back slightly with the height difference he pretends to be bothered by.

“Can we like, go for hot chocolate or somethin’?” He almost kicks himself for how trivial of a question that is to alight upon, his Henrietta accent making it even more prosaic, but right now, all he wants is to stay close to Ronan, to forget about demons and death and sorrow and just revel in everything they haven’t lost, sitting together like two normal teenagers in the booth of a 24 hour diner.

Ronan lets out a surprised laugh, and when Adam looks up to see, with relief, Ronan’s eyes crinkling up with a smile, he thinks maybe that wasn’t the wrong question to ask after all.

“Thought you had homework,” Ronan says, his voice rough.

“Fuck homework,” Adam replies, and Ronan sucks in a breath, only half for show.

“Parrish,” he says, “you’ve literally never been hotter to me than in this exact moment.”

“Fuck off,” Adam laughs.

“Damn, it gets better and better,” Ronan comments on a wolf-whistle, not missing a beat.

Adam rolls his eyes at him, grinning, but then a thought makes him sober up for a moment. “I think we need to get better. At this talking thing, I mean.”

Ronan makes a face of exaggerated distaste, everything in him rebelling at the idea of conversations about feelings.

“You know I’m right,” Adam says.

“I didn’t say you were wrong,” Ronan mutters, then offers: “I’ll… pick up my phone?”

“It’s a start,” Adam concedes, amusedly, even though that’s not the real problem and they both know it.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t survive Latin class without my help,” Ronan shrugs with false modesty.

“Right,” Adam drawls. “Anyway. I’ll… try not to freak out about things?”

“Sounds fake,” Ronan hums, poking his nose at Adam’s cheek.

“Your face sounds fake.”

“That doesn’t even make sense, Parrish. Maybe they shouldn’t make you valedictorian after all.”

“Maybe, but your ass better stay alive till graduation, ‘cause I want you there anyway.”

“Yeah. I guess I better,” Ronan replies simply, but his tone is serious; it’s a promise, and they both know it.

Adam nods. “Hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate,” Ronan nods back. “Whipped cream and a metric fuckton of marshmallows?”

Adam’s stomach growls at a frankly ridiculous level of decibels, which would be mortifying except for the carefree way Ronan laughs at that, which kind of makes it worth it.

“Shut up,” Adam mutters without any heat, trying to hold back a smile. His ears feel warm.

“Let’s get some marshmallows in you, Einstein,” Ronan chuckles, kissing his cheek.

The drive to the diner is quiet, and Ronan keeps carefully below the speed limit. That’s not new per se, as he’s taken to doing it more and more when Adam’s in the car with him, but it feels especially significant tonight. Like an assurance, maybe. Adam stares at Ronan’s profile in the dim light, all sharp and handsome lines, and enjoys the simple pleasure of knowing that they have each other, that moments like these are theirs and theirs alone.

“I used to wonder how long it would take before we fought again,” he says, without really deciding to. “I think maybe I thought we wouldn’t, but clearly that was dumb of me.”

“Ah.” Ronan’s tone gives nothing away, but the tightening of his jaw loudly broadcasts his fears – that Adam will decide this is too much effort, that it’s too much work, that it’s more trouble than Ronan’s worth.

“Yeah. How else are we supposed to do better if we never fuck up?”

It’s clearly not what Ronan was expecting, and as he takes the last turn for the diner, a small, almost surprised smile plays around his lips. He glances at Adam out of the corner of his eyes, the motion practiced and familiar; Adam, as always, looks back, feeling a burst of simple, uncomplicated satisfaction bloom in his chest as he rests his head on top of Ronan’s on the gear stick.

They’re going to be okay.