#if the user in question follows me here please know that its nothing personal but i dont approve of ai use

[quinfr]

pluck got its first ever fanart and its ai

[opal-owl-flight]

Can you please tell us more about Neo4. What's their background.

“I need your help.”

Thing is -- I dont exactly own that character! Hes owned by @pastille-pain ... I asked them abt his deets, so here it is under the readmore!

His recruitment by 3 is also under the readmore :) (+more notes abt pre-sploon3)

(From my pal)

My Precious Soy Sauz

Aka croissant

Where he comes from is inkopolis

Lived there his whole life actually. A very sheltered kid due to being raised by grandparents that were in Octaria at one point. So they wanted to make sure nothing really happened to him

An only child but he had his cousin (Nakji, Takoyaki) of the three, he'd be the middle child with Nakji and the youngest.

He's got two friends (three if we count malachite -- the smallfrt) outside of the platoon. Dulce, and (unfortunately) Scara

He dating Melon (oc of mine), we know this

Kinda funny it started as her just battling with him cause he was good but then it turned something more

His time before the platoon was mostly

"Hey are you related to that Sauz idol?" Or "hey, you related to that Sauz wrestler?" It got annoying very quickly so he started introducing himself as croissant and nothing else

Aside from that, if he wasn't turfing he was at home reading or watching shows. Guys a very boring person

He's a pretty big OTH fan...

All this above is still the same even while being apart of the platoon minus the constant questions about his relatives and adding college into the mix

He can do some really cool shit when he's focused (like absolutely demolish competition in turf) but he's also easily distracted so I think you can imagine how that goes

His stress relief is shopping (mostly window shopping, very rarely does he actually buy anything)

He never gets too mad but we know the face if he does

Fun fact, you will never catch this man in pants

Short and anything else

Not pants

The only time he's ever seen wearing pants is in his agent gear and that's cause it's what was given to him.

-----------------------

Heres a bonus too, of 3s recruitment of him!

It was a turfing match, and theyve been watching the krak-on user the whole round. They took note of how he responded to stress, to bad calls, and how he acted on his own following calls he had judged as bad. Once it was over, they followed the team into the lobby.

They stand tall against the doorframe theyre leaning against, presence as cold and as commanding as ever.

(Nevermind that Croissant is taller AND older than them, that squid is intimidating as FUCK)

A whistle, calling the team over.

"|May I have a word?|" they sign, "|Ive been watching your team turf for the last few rounds.|"

Scara, the team captain, spits a "Who the FUCK are you."

3s eyebrows raise in surprise. But they should expect it... casual turfers dont usually know their name.

They went to the smaller leagues for a reason. If something happened to a big name in the scene, and its found that they had something to do with it-

No. No. They mentally shake their head. They are NOT picking this person because they are going to be fucking canon fodder.

"|Who I am is not important. Not much, anyway.

I am... interested in one of your teammates.|"

a nod towards Croissant. "|As a krak-on user myself, his performance has impressed me.|"

"Has he now. You seen our losses?? Are you making fun of us??"

"|He has great potential.|" they sign, ignoring the outburst. "|I would like to...|" theres a slight pause. "|...train with him.|"

"I can train my team perfectly, all by myself. Get lost."

They give a cold stare back. "|Im sure that has worked very well for you thus far.|"

The captain didnt seem to want to back down. 3 continues, ear twitching.

"|This request was not aimed towards you, anyway. Im asking him.|"

"BUT-"

"|I want to hear HIS answer.|"

A test. 3 saw that Scara was pushing him around and the only reason they won the match was bc Croissant decided to go his own way. Will he go his own way now?

"Well I know he'll choose to stick with me-"

"Oh I'd love to train with you I like helping others :D"

"You weren't supposed to say that."

3 nods. "|It begins now. Come. We have much to discuss. And as for you.|"

They clack their beak. "|Captain to captain. You need to listen to your teammates more.|"

-----------------------

Once they are in a more private space...

"|Training is only one part of the deal.

I apologize for not being upfront. This is a matter of national security, and I cannot mention much about it beyond base.|"

I suppose Croissant hasnt heard...or at least, isnt into much of the so-called Hero of Inkadia thats plastered everywhere in Inkopolis? If he was, hed at least start thinking of all that being like... "wait all that media was based on something real???"

(3 mentioning national security and a base may also inspire thoughts of "wow this squid's a fucking nerd...")

"|You are free to reject my request if you feel unfit for the task at hand. But where are my manners? I have yet to formally introduce myself.

Topside, I am known as FOR3VRFRSH. Here, I am the Captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon.

I suppose youve heard of such a force...? No?|

Mm.

|Just know that we keep Inkadia more or less safe from nation-destroying threats.|"

He accepts the offer... but he also wasn't thinking too hard on it cause he saw an opportunity to step away from Scara and took it immediately.

3 nods, beckoning him towards the sewer line. As they walked backwards into base, they signed to him. "|From this point onwards, you will be referred to as Agent...Four.|"

Theres a very slight waver of their hand as they signed the number.

"|You show much promise, from what Ive observed in turf. Dont disappoint me.|"

"The only person I disappoint is that guy, but he's just very critical-"*

Theres a glint in 3s eye, a look of amusement... "|...Overly critical is putting it lightly.|"

"I promise to do my best still."

-----------------------

3 introduces him as the new Agent 4 and I feel Marie just scrunches her nose a bit. Then sees the look in 3s eye...

To the folks from the regions around 3s home (Callie, Marie, Cuttlefish), theyre not subtle about missing her.

[zot3-flopped]

Just a quick question because i‘m new on here and idk who that blog owner is. But who is hiding behind that whataletdown blog? Is it a larry? A PR merchant? A 1d stan that is bitter? Because i saw a lot of their anons say well harry is gonna be successful when he comes back and they shut that down immediately and it reminded me of the twitter users that are either one of those 3 options. Does anybody have some experience with sending stuff into their blog?

That blog is a mess. Its main purpose these days is to wind up Harries by repeating falsehoods, safe in the strategy that they will never back anything up with fact.

It used to be more of a genuine ‘I hate this guy’s image because it rings false’. Well, duh, he’s hardly likely to go sharing his actual life with crazy fans, so of course bits of it are going to ring false. You don’t have any right to know how his business works or who he shags, so by all means fill in the gaps with the worst thing you can think of: that’s what miserable people do. It makes zero impact on anything. I feel like that anon knew it, too. It seemed like a personal project, ignorant of the norm in pop music (which is: craft an image for the artist, make it a curated version of themselves).

Nowadays with the other poster on board, it’s a wilder ride. She’ll believe absolutely anything, but mostly she finds joy in saying things that can be very, very easily debunked. If you send in the debunking, they never post. (I think it’s the mark of a good blog when they can say they got a fact wrong and correct it.) She just doubles down. She’s like a thirteen-year-old bully. As such, it’s not at all interesting. I know he writes his own songs in a small team; I know he can talk about music; I know we don’t know a lot about his love life that’s verifiable (and that’s how it should be! fgs). I have a better idea about Pleasing than anything they could come up with, ever.

I don’t really understand what is in it for her. It can’t be interesting. I think it’s just a case of a sad person with not a lot in their life, and no idea how things work. Nothing they say comes true, but you can bet that angry poster will say “we told you that months ago” in true teenage girl style. Best blocked!

Absolutely. She did reveal recently that she was furious and disappointed when 1d didn't come back after the hiatus, and blames Harry for it. But she shuts down discussion of the other guys because she clearly isn't following their careers, so can't contribute.

And yes, she's obsessed with being right about everything even though she gets all her predictions wrong. She still thinks Harry would have released an album in October if Liam hadn't died, despite there being no announcements at all by mid month. She also thought he'd do Harryween every year, a Sphere residency last spring, a Co-Op Live residency ... giving the ridiculous motive that he is 'money hungry'.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Please please help!!! my EA app for the sims 4 is broken and this is my last resort.

A couple days ago, I found myself wanting to play the sims as im sure all of us want to do every now and then and so I try to start up my game, but it needs to be updated, because of the new update. So i Update the game and it tells me its ready to launch, I go back to the EA app and The update button is still there. I try to update it again, but nothing happens it just has the user agreement pop up and I click it and nothing happened. I try for a few more minutes to try and get my game working but give up because its late and Im tired.

A few days later, I still want to play the sims, so I try again, but this time the app wont even open. I try a few different things like pulling out my save files to see if their corrupted, my moms, and the entire game out of the documents folder in finder as well as deleting and reinstalling the EA app but I cant get it to open. So I gave up again. no sims.

Today, I wanted to play the sims again and felt like trying again, so my friend and I get on the phone to try and figure out to do. I uninstall all the mods I have on my computer completely, I uninstall the app again, I clear the cashe and I finally get the app to open doing this.

The app even though we opened it was showing us nothing except a dark blue background, it wasnt showing anything up. I get the app to restart itself on the top bar, now I get it to give my the option to go offline and I request going back online and EAlauncher pops up, has me enter my password and it opens, showing me the full app, with my library and everything.(I don't have anything else in EA just the sims 4) but the app is still telling me I need to update my game. We try repairing the app, we try clearing the cashe AGAIN. The app wont let us update the game and It wont let me uninstall it in the app, and nothing seems to happen if I take it out of the EA app folder on finder.

At this point Im actually tweaking and I just want to play the sims. Im searching up everything online, and so is my friend. we get the following

1. restart the app and your computer

2. uninstall mods

3. check activity monitor - WE HAD NOT DONE THIS ONE YET

At this point Im scrambling to find a tutorial on how to do this because I don't know crap about tech, installing sims 4 mods is the peak of my ability. My friend who knows of crack websites is looking on installation, broken game, (and more) tutorials to see if anything from those help because apparently some of them do something to the games coding??? So we find one and it talks about error messages and my stupid ass realizes Ive been having a communication error with opening the sims since I got my new Mac but it hadn't effected anything till now.

the Error code I was getting, and the only thing that would pop up when I would try to open the app was EC: 10701 - Communication error, but it had stopped happening once I had deleted my mods, so I don't know if it has any effect anymore. At this point we've run out of things to try and the farthest we've gotten is the app opening again but I cant uninstall, repair, or update my game.

I go back online to try and find a help bot on the EA website or a phone number I can call but I cant find anything and the one thing they do have only allows "100 characters per question" to this stupid fucking robot who probably wont even connect me to a person if I tried.

Its been 2 hours at this point and I dont know what to do so my friend suggests posting a bunch of stuff on reddit/tumblr/twitter/etc to see if anyone can help because for some reason EA doesnt have a fucking help line when their app is completely broke.

- a very pissed of simmer who's EA app wont open for god knows why

TLDR; my EA wont open and ive tried everything I can think of, uninstalling mods, uninstalling the app, and more but the app will not open and Im turning to here as my last hope.

I don't play sims, but I'm posting this in the hopes that someone on here does and can help!

[astral-projects-stars]

My EA app wont open on my mac, ive tried everything I can think of - please help.

A couple days ago, I found myself wanting to play the sims as im sure all of us want to do every now and then and so I try to start up my game, but it needs to be updated, because of the new update. So i Update the game and it tells me its ready to launch, I go back to the EA app and The update button is still there. I try to update it again, but nothing happens it just has the user agreement pop up and I click it and nothing happened. I try for a few more minutes to try and get my game working but give up because its late and Im tired.

A few days later, I still want to play the sims, so I try again, but this time the app wont even open. I try a few different things like pulling out my save files to see if their corrupted, my moms, and the entire game out of the documents folder in finder as well as deleting and reinstalling the EA app but I cant get it to open. So I gave up again. no sims.

Today, I wanted to play the sims again and felt like trying again, so my friend and I get on the phone to try and figure out to do. I uninstall all the mods I have on my computer completely, I uninstall the app again, I clear the cashe and I finally get the app to open doing this.

The app even though we opened it was showing us nothing except a dark blue background, it wasnt showing anything up. I get the app to restart itself on the top bar, now I get it to give my the option to go offline and I request going back online and EAlauncher pops up, has me enter my password and it opens, showing me the full app, with my library and everything.(I don't have anything else in EA just the sims 4) but the app is still telling me I need to update my game. We try repairing the app, we try clearing the cashe AGAIN. The app wont let us update the game and It wont let me uninstall it in the app, and nothing seems to happen if I take it out of the EA app folder on finder.

At this point Im actually tweaking and I just want to play the sims. Im searching up everything online, and so is my friend. we get the following

1. restart the app and your computer

2. uninstall mods

3. check activity monitor - WE HAD NOT DONE THIS ONE YET

At this point Im scrambling to find a tutorial on how to do this because I don't know crap about tech, installing sims 4 mods is the peak of my ability. My friend who knows of crack websites is looking on installation, broken game, (and more) tutorials to see if anything from those help because apparently some of them do something to the games coding??? So we find one and it talks about error messages and my stupid ass realizes Ive been having a communication error with opening the sims since I got my new Mac but it hadn't effected anything till now.

the Error code I was getting, and the only thing that would pop up when I would try to open the app was EC: 10701 - Communication error, but it had stopped happening once I had deleted my mods, so I don't know if it has any effect anymore. At this point we've run out of things to try and the farthest we've gotten is the app opening again but I cant uninstall, repair, or update my game.

I go back online to try and find a help bot on the EA website or a phone number I can call but I cant find anything and the one thing they do have only allows "100 characters per question" to this stupid fucking robot who probably wont even connect me to a person if I tried.

Its been 2 hours at this point and I dont know what to do so my friend suggests posting a bunch of stuff on reddit/tumblr/twitter/etc to see if anyone can help because for some reason EA doesnt have a fucking help line when their app is completely broke.

- a very pissed of simmer who's EA app wont open for god knows why

TLDR; my EA wont open and ive tried everything I can think of, uninstalling mods, uninstalling the app, and more but the app will not open and Im turning to here as my last hope.

[mewmedic]

A Deal with the Devil

Someone on the Lolita fashion subreddit asked what we can do about newbies who do not know how to find clothes outside of (the well documented scam site) Devil Inspired. I wrote the following in response and thought it was worth cross posting here.

To be very blunt: most people are too illiterate to read pinned posts (even though that should just be basic reddit etiquette) and too lazy to move their eyes to the area of their screen where there is a link to a guide that answers their questions. You can't fix stupid at a certain point, once people get stuck in their ways.

Really, the only action we could do would be to change the subreddit banner image at the top to say "PLEASE DON'T BUY FROM DEVIL INSPIRED. READ A GUIDE ON HOW TO BUY FROM TAOBAO." We probably need a pinned post saying the same thing in the title, with an explanation of taobao in the body and links to some guides. That may be absurd, but I truly think its the only bullet we have left in the chamber. Even then, most people will ignore it. It really sucks that this subreddit has become the Devil Inspired Customer Service Hotline.

There are just too many people (some millennials but especially zoomers) who lack the ability to use the internet properly. With the "enshittification" of google, people now expect human beings on reddit to answer every single one of their lingering thoughts. But let's be real, the "let me google that for you" situation existed for a decade before google started to suck. Devil Inspired is the first result when googling lolita fashion because they pay to have good SEO and be at the top. Most people are not internet savvy enough to google "[store name] scam" or "[storename] alternatives" when they encounter a new store online. That's not even getting into Devil Inspired shoving sponsor bucks down influencer's throats so they can vomit advertisements back out onto their naive audience.

I understand why a normal western person would know nothing about taobao. However, anyone with intermediate internet experience should be able to tell that Devil Inspired does not manufacture the clothes they sell. No one makes that wide of a variety of styles that quickly, plus the wide variety in photography styles (and they sometimes forget to hide the original store's watermark.) Next, they should know to reverse google image search photos from Devil Inspired's catalogue. Their last resort should be to go to the "find this dress" pinned post on this subreddit. Then, if they discover there that the dress is from a taobao store they could just google "how to buy from taobao." But they don't do any of these things because the average internet user does not know they can.

Just a few days ago we had some one here ask to be spoonfed information about gothic lolita, something they could easily find themselves. When some one kindly gave them a link to the lolita wiki, the OP had the nerve to complain because they don't like Fandom wikis. I fucking hate Fandom and have a personal beef with them, but I wouldn't complain about being spoonfed information for free from there. That person will never comprehend why people created fandom wikis in the past and they definitely won't understand why it's very hard to leave Fandom wikis. I am including this recent experience to illustrate why Devil Inspired is not the only problem here, people's attitudes just plain suck some times.

TLDR: We are fighting an unwinnable battle against people's illiteracy, refusal to learn, and Devil Inspired's fat stacks of marketing cash.

[the-al-pals]

Guidelines

Hey there! Thanks a bunch for following my RP blog! It means a lot! Before we get started with writing together, there’s some things you might wanna know!

My name is Sunny! I’m 32 years old (as of January 19th of 2024), I live in Texas (Central Standard Time), and pronouns aren’t a thing I’m picky about; being an online gamer has gotten me called all sorts of things (including he/him, which I honestly find hilarious for some reason?).

The muses I play will be at least somewhat canon-divergent! I like to put my own personal touch on things.

I am mutuals only in terms of interaction, which means that we need to be following each other in order to write together. If your RP blog is a sideblog, I expect that information to be somewhere easily visible on your blog, or for you to tell me outright in the ask box or IMs.

If you’re a mutual who no longer wishes to be mutuals, it would be greatly appreciated if you hard block my blog so I can also unfollow. 

I am multi-ship friendly! Unless discussed and planned with an(other) mun(s), everything is set in separate verses.

I like to explore most kinds of ship dynamics as long as there’s chemistry and there have been OOC discussions.

Replies may not be quick. I’m sure there’ll be exceptions, but I run other RP blogs, so this is what you can expect from me. If you’re not very patient, I’m not the RP partner for you.

If you don’t have a roleplay blog or are too shy (nothing wrong with that BTW!), you’re more than welcome to thread with me through anonymous asks! People are perfectly welcome to do “threads” with me that way if it’s preferred. However, if you do become a regular user of the anon feature, I do ask is that you put a symbol or nickname in your ask so I can identify and tag you. I want to make sure I don’t mistake you for an anon that’s just come to ask a question/poke at my muse(s)!

Concerning smut threads: I am okay with it! It shouldn’t need to be said, but please don’t ask to do smut threads with me if you’re under 18. In fact, don’t even follow me if you’re under 18. It makes me uncomfortable and I will block you if I find out.

My only true trigger is animal abuse/needless death. I don’t expect it to come up, but since it’s my one trigger I feel it should be mentioned!

Congratulations! You made it to the end! If you’re comfortable sending in passwords you’re more than welcome to send “Let’s make a deal.” to my ask box! If not, no sweat!

Here’s a kitten trying to eat its own paw for your patience:

[orionsangel86]

Sincere question, your response to the like-scolding post doesn't make sense to me. I already reblog often, so I don't need convincing, but I also don't feel the need to convince others to and don't understand when people do.

If a blog was empty, you weren't going to follow them anyway. They have zero impact on your dash.

I don't understand why following the tags, following blogs that make stuff in the tags, using tumblr's orbit thing or blog suggestions wouldn't be anymore sufficient than asking strangers that may not even care who follows them to make your personal dashboard more interesting.

I was hesitant to answer this, because I try not to get too involved in general tumblr discourse and I already have had a few passive aggressive remarks about my response to that post. I don't wanna open myself up to hate here so please know that this is just my opinion at the end of the day. I am one person and I have been on tumblr a long time and my reasonings for all of this is simply that I love this stupid website and want it to thrive.

Let me start by clarifying that I have nothing against likes! Likes are great! Likes are exactly what it says on the tin - a way to tell someone that you like their post. So I didn't have an issue with the sentiment of the original post that likes are not meaningless and are instead a way to tell people that you like their stuff! That's great!

But your reasoning here is flawed because of how tumblr works. No matter how many likes someones post gets, if no one reblogs it it will dissapear into a void. Tumblrs tagging system is not great. Tumblr's "in your orbit" section is something that most people ignore and do not use. The userbase on tumblr finds posts by following blogs and relying on the blogs they follow to reblog posts. The posts that circulate far and wide on tumblr are posts that are reblogged by users. Posts that have plenty of likes do not help a post gain any extra traction or help spread it to those that may be interested in it. Posts that are just liked and not reblogged do not get circulated and will get forgotten about and never find their audience.

This isn't about lurker types who never reblog anything and therefore won't ever get followers (nothing against lurkers!), its about this strange mentality nowadays which tumblr never used to have which is that people seem to be more particular about the kind of posts they'll reblog. People seem more hesitant to reblog long posts, or writing posts, or anything that doesn't immediately grab their attention. There is an expectation that for a post to be reblogged it has to be of a higher quality that a post that you may reward a simple like.

I think it is heavily tied to cringe culture. There is a mentality that your blog should be heavily curated and therefore you should only reblog the highest of quality which you feel is worthy for your own blog - rather than just reblogging anything that you may like or find fun or interesting. It is very much an instagram mentality and its been creeping into tumblr over several years - and because of it, fandoms are dying, its far more difficult to find fandom content, and it is becoming much harder to engage and build community. People are hesitant to add comments onto reblogs nowadays - when back in the day that was kinda how tumblr worked! You reblogged with commentary and thats how legendary tumblr shitposts were born! That's how Supernatural fandom "always has a gif for that" started! Because back in 2014 people didn't care about what others on tumblr thought about their blogs, because their blogs were all about the fun, about committing to the bit, about engaging with each other and adding commentary and additions, and speculating about your favourite shows on long posts where you could have an entire community of meta writers each adding a bit of their own analysis so you ended up with a huge post that was absolutely mind blowing. That's how artists on tumblr could have thousands and thousands of notes and gain huge popularity and be able to make a living based on their fanart.

I miss it so. fucking. much.

This place is a graveyard sometimes. Even among my current fandom. I will post something and ask that people add commentary. I will state quite plainly for people to please engage and add their thoughts, let me know your opinions! There are no wrong answers! Lets joke, make fun of the characters we love, write dumb little thoughts and headcanons and engage with them via reblogs, add reaction gifs and images with speech bubbles and just soak up the joy that can be found in engaging with fandom in this way - and stop being scared that your reblogs will be judged by some external source, that you will somehow lose followers or make OP hate you if you dare to add a comment to their post (in which case OP can go fuck themselves as far as I'm concerned because I ADORE comments and additions on MY posts). Just ENGAGE. Because a like, whilst appreciated, is literally the bare minimum, and if all we are doing on this site is the bare minimum, then what is the fucking point anymore? If there is no real engagement and community, if you aren't interesting in actually talking to each other and sharing posts among each other and just interacting with each other, then tumblr will die. I find that so fucking depressing. So yeah, I had a bit of a moan on that post, because I don't think y'all newbies understand how good it used to be here. Quit with the instagram mentality and start actually engaging. Because if y'all actually listened and started doing that, you'll bring this place to life again, and find so much more joy in it.

[somerandomhuman080]

self diagnosing is a-ok btw. it can take years of research to fully understand and know for sure but self diagnosing is fine do not worry! Take some time to research each concern you have and do not get attached to a diagnoses until you hit the "nothing else explains me/ these are symptoms are separate and I just need a second diagnosis"

One thing I can say for sure is that things like ADHD, Autism, OCD, etc. can have very similar symptoms but you gotta research HOW these symptoms arrive and HOW they effect you. I highly highly recommend following many tumblr users who are diagnosed or long time self-diagnosed who talk about their struggles and explain symptoms. You don't have to follow everyone, follow the tags, look through them, see what people have to say. Biggest thing you need to do: read articles! Google questions you have and see what shows up. Read multiple articles on each thing to check for accuracy etc etc.

if you are specifically researching ADHD right now, I recommend learning about executive dysfunction and see how much you relate to it from there. Also read the criteria of an ADHD diagnosis here: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK519712/table/ch3.t3/ (pay extra attention to things you relate to and try to find/ ask questions on these things specifically. Like what causes this in you? how does it present? Does it affect your other symptoms? Does this specific symptom show up in separate ways? etc.)

and to start, if you want to ask questions to people here on tumblr I recommend the account autistic-af (she is both autistic and has adhd, she takes in asks regularly but right now they are closed...follow and check in every day or so! Highly recommend) another blog you might want to try is my-autism-adhd-blog (they take in asks and give a lot of direct links and excerpts of articles if you do not know where to start. and I believe they will also help you find articles on OCD and anything else neurodivergent as well!) Remember to scroll down and look through tags! You might have some questions answered already. (but its okay to ask them again if they have, don't worry!)

self-diagnosing is a long road, but it helps to know yourself more and is very helpful for if you are able to get formally diagnosed in the future. also very very very important to remember... even if you are incorrect, if any accommodations you may ask of people around you helps you, please do not be afraid to continue those accommodations. If you are afraid of being wrong when mentioning these things just say that you suspect *diagnosis* and you think this would help you or you want to see if it helps you. Since you know you experience anxiety/depression then you damn well deserve accommodations already! Look for some tips for those conditions to help for now.

just to add some points i may have missed: many of symptoms you posted in your post are traits you may find in someone who has ADHD but they can also be found in someone who is autistic, who has ocd, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression etc etc. You will have a lot to research do and a lot of deep diving in yourself to come to a conclusion. (or conclusions) Start with learning more about ADHD then go to the next that you relate to. Learn about comorbidity and see how conditions look combined. Give yourself plenty of time and ask questions to people who have known you for years. You don't have to tell them why if you are uncomfortable with them knowing and if they think you don't have these problems and refuse to help, move on to the next person who is willing to help and take you seriously.

lastly, i wish you good luck in all this!!!! Genuinely!!!! For me, I grew up in a toxic environment and wasn't allowed to even see a doctor growing up. I had to learn everything on my own and it was difficult and sometimes scary until I learned about the communities here on tumblr who talk about their experiences day by day. It helped. A lot. And now i'm working towards finally and officially getting diagnosed with (quite a few) conditions! Self diagnosing saved my life, kept me going, kept me safe. don't be afraid to ask questions and give yourself any help you need. don't be afraid to self-diagnose. in time you will learn which diagnoses you can confidently say "i have this!" and which ones you will need to say "I need professional advice to confirm this but I want to let you know I heavily relate to this condition" just don't be afraid of getting to either! <3

Oh! and remember to take breaks if it gets overwhelming or frustrating! its definitely a lot to learn. and sometimes discourse can be hard to read.

( sorry for the very long ask! just wanted to help out on a day I am able :3 )

thank you so much for your advice! this is really helpful, i’ll definitely be doing more research :) i really appreciate it. also i literally got tumblr the other day and i have no idea if i responded to this right, please let me know.

[wildflowersnweed]

•••••READ PINNED POST••••• I see you have found your way to my blog. This Tumblr Blog exists for ME, so if there’s something you don’t like on this Blog, you’re more than welcome to not follow me. In order to speak to me, & to hopefully answer some questions before they are asked, I’ve given you some information on who I am as a Person. After you read that, you’ll be able to see MY BLOG RULES & some photos:)

****Basic Information****

- 💜Cecelia💜

- 33 years on Earth

- California Born, Iowa Living

- 4’11/58 inches tall/147.32 centimeters tall

- Married 9 years, together for 13💍

- 3 Children, oldest to youngest:

Christine - 15

Lily - 10

Jack - 7

****I AM****

- Permanently Disabled

- Mental Health Advocate

- Chronically Physically & Mentally ill

- Bi-Sexual

- Polyamorous (Not Interested)

- I stand up for Black Lives Matter. ✊🏿

- Feminist

- Equality For Everyone

- No-one is an “Alien” in any Country! Its everyone’s world, not just yours!

- I believe in God for my own Spiritual Reasons, and I 100% Support People that do not.

****My Animals****

- 1 Horse: April, Mare, American Quarter Horse, Black-Bay, lived to be 33, passed in 2001. 🪽

- 2 female Cats: Athena & Quinn

- 1 Male Cat: Deckster (rip) 🪽

- 3 dogs:

Lilo - Dachshund/Chihuahua, Female, lived to 11 years old, passed away in 2022. 🪽 🐾

Stitch - Beagle, Male, 3 years old as of August 2023.

Ohana: Beagle/Dachshund, Female,born March 5, 2023.

- 15 Fur Grand Babies, 8 have entered Heaven 🪽

****FUN FACTS****

- Short Friend

- Singer

- Unusually thorough knowledge of Dog Breed’s

- Loves Horses

- Can quote two movies only: Twilight & Finding Nemo

⚠️ ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

BEFORE INTERACTING WITH THIS USER YOU MUST KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THESE RULES:

****IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 21, DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG USER!*****

- PUT YOUR AGE IN YOUR BIO! If it is not in your bio or pinned post, I will block you!

- DO NOT send me nudes. DO NOT ASK IF YOU CAN SEND NUDES THE ANSWER IS NO! You WILL be blocked if you ask me to send them, and you will be blocked if you send them without being asked.

- IF YOUR BLOG IS ANY OF THE FOLLOWING, I WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU:

1) Hidden from Tumblr

2) No bio

3) Under 21

4) Nothing on said blog

5) All Porn, nothing else

6) Christian

7) USA/Conservative Bullshit 🤮

*************************

Be respectful to me be it in messages or asks or you WILL be blocked.

- Just because you follow me, does NOT mean I will follow you.

- I WILL NOT FOLLOW YOU IF TUMBLR HAS HIDDEN YOUR BLOG!!!! DO NOT TELL ME TO “Change my settings”!

- Assuming you are 21+, you can contact me anytime, about anything! I’m here for you and you are NEVER EVER ALONE!!!!

- Please do not send me a message asking me to text you. I do not give my phone # out.

Adding things to this post daily, so please come back!

🌈 SELFIES:

[painless-innit-colourful]

Invisible

Potions of invisibility grant the user the ability to disappear, functionally: the concealment of one’s self through magic, distilled into a draught easy to swallow. For better and worse, Tommy’s familiar with the taste.

It tastes sour, primarily. 

Looking at the ingredient list, no wonder. Nether wart and fermented spider eye. Gross. There are some things a golden carrot just can't balance out. 

It's such a disgusting taste he doesn't notice the shimmering feeling, instead focusing his attention on scraping a thin layer of translucent brown sugar-mushroom-spider ick off his tongue. Not until: 

"Tommy?" "Y- Bleh- Yeah?" "Oh!" Tubbo waves his arms in a wild arc, smile growing, before his hand collides with Tommy's arm, and he picks up Tommy's wrist. "It worked!" "What do you- Ohhh..." 

If he blurs his vision, Tubbo's fingers circle around nothing. If he looks properly, he can just about see the edges of his wrist, the lines of his shirt sleeve. "Dude, how does that work?" "Which bit?" "Clothes. My clothes didn't drink it too." "Dude, I dunno... My turn!" 

They learn to spot the tiny signs of an invisible person. They learn to disguise them. Tommy tries to tackle Tubbo and misses completely, and both of them fall about laughing. 

Call that a drug van success story. 

--- 

He sprints past it, hoping they aren’t following, panic filling his bloodstream. He chugs the potion as he runs, drops spilling down his front, staining his navy coat with off-white shadows as he shimmers and disappears into thin air. 

Please don’t see me, please don’t see me.

He stumbles into the shallow waters of the lake, wading - disturbing the water, too many signs, you're gonna be seen - towards Tubbo's tunnel. He takes three steps and slips under the surface, landing on his hands and knees on the tunnel floor, waiting, waiting- Where are they? 

There's the sound of an arrow seeking its mark and hitting true, and for a split second Tommy sees an arm with deft fingers and a dark blue sleeve fall over the side of the entrance, and then the body is gone and shit shit shit- 

Tommy sticks his head back out- Who was that? Wilbur? Tubbo? He feels the shimmering feeling again - "a quick escape", where are the others - and slowly drops back to the tunnel floor. 

Make a decision, what if they find you, Little Laddy One Life? He walks away, opting to live to fight another day, hoping that his friends will join him soon. 

--- 

Funnily though, while clothes disappear with the potion, armour doesn't. He doesn't know why; he's not smart enough to. And right now, as he yanks the shoulder straps of his chestplate tight, he doesn't really care. 

"Stop!" They don't stop, voices mostly drowned out by the overwhelming sound of rushing water. Dream, his face also hidden, but by his signature mask as opposed to the magic of an invisibility potion, holds his hand towards Tubbo and tells him "I need the disc." Tommy crests the wreckage of the Community House, no longer attempting to stay hidden as the water thunders down around his ankles, pulling him towards the platform in the centre. It's a bizarre version of the Pit. It’s an arena. It's a stage. 

"No!" He screams, as Tubbo takes half a step back towards the ender chest. Heads snap to his position, looking at the empty suit of armour that's just appeared beside and above them. Tubbo stutters something in quiet disbelief, and between that and the sudden attention, Tommy falters. If he took off his armour now, could he get out of there? Or would the same fate that once befell Wilbur catch him? The blame for this building is on him, after all. 

He jumps in, landing on his feet between Dream and the cabinet of L'Manberg. He is caught in the crossfire of their questions: "Tommy?" "Is that Tommy?" 

He shouts, and he screams, and he revolves like a merry-go-round, trying to keep his eyes on everyone, not trusting that his armour'll be enough to protect him from the sheer amount of enemies about. So many people hate him, he realises, it's 30 v 2. Technoblade would like those odds. Technoblade, who's standing beside him, not invisible because he went to get milk. He likes the protection; he thinks. 

They don't listen. Tubbo keeps insisting he betrayed them all by teaming with Techno, that he betrayed L'Manberg, but they don't understand, he didn't have a choice, "You don't know what he did to me in exile." Tubbo has the disc in his hands, and without having an inkling of where Dream's eyes are, he watches him consider simply snatching it from Tubbo's hands. 

"You're not gonna give him the disc." Tubbo looks at him like it's a dare, and why can't he see? Tommy's practically crying with the effort and exertion of watching his best friend betray him in slow motion, of being this close to his abuser, of being blamed for something he didn't do, of being beaten down every time he gets on his damn feet. 

"I don’t need to prove myself to you. This wasn’t me. Trust me. Jesus— for once in your life, Tubbo, trust me." Tubbo's eyes are cold, his mind made up. What happened to us against the world?  "I did trust you. Once. The first time all of this happened. And I won’t make the same mistake twice." 

There's a little moment where time stops, and everyone draws nearer like a crowd at the coliseum, and Tommy feels his invisibility ripple slightly, warning him it's about to wear off. Who the fuck cares. 

Tubbo takes a step towards Dream, and Tommy lunges to put himself between them. "Don't you dare." Tubbo's hand goes to his axe. "You betrayed me, Tubbo, you- Did you just-" Both of their eyes are on Tubbo’s weapon, when he puts the disc away, staring Tommy down plainly with his one hand returning to the axe at his waist, and the other taking out his shield. "I didn't betray you." His voice is level, all business. Okay then, Mr President.

"You betrayed everything that you'd built with presidents prior." Tommy's anger, and hurt, and frustration, and pain finally boils over, so much so that it's visible in the way he shakes as he brings out his axe. "You know what?" He bites into a golden apple, feeling its effects drown out the rushing water and the shimmering sensation of his invis. "You've got your axe up." Technoblade’s tone is surprised but light as he tells Tommy to make this decision wisely, but he’s already gone, his safety and conscience be damned. He throws himself at Tubbo, brandishing his axe as the pigman taught him, like he once practised with the brown-haired boy he’s swinging at, thinking You say I betrayed you? I'll show you a traitor. 

Poetically, perhaps, it's less like a fight, and more like a dance. They are a whirlwind - a hurricane - clashing and blocking and pushing and shoving across the otherwise empty floor. Somewhere in the gushing water, Technoblade's bloodlust has seized him, and he's gone for the L'Manbergians and the festival-goers and the unrelated parties that came when they saw the destruction, and he's scattering them this way and that, but who cares about that? 

They are not equally matched. Tommy shakes too much: there is too much of him vulnerable here, not just his mortality, something that neither invisibility nor armour can keep from being scratched and damaged. He's losing. He's quite badly losing, despite Tubbo's inferior armour and weapons and allies, and he leaps into the nearest watery wall, letting the Respiration helmet Techno made for him protect him as the water drags him under and away from his attacker. His best friend. He bites into another golden apple, his pleas swallowed by the torrent. He still hears Tubbo's shout though, permeating the water and being relayed through his communicator from wherever Techno is. 

"Where are you?" 

He pops back up, shaking and soaking wet and sees a familiar sight: an old friend, a brother - once - staring him down with death in his eyes from behind brown hair. He was wrong, oh so wrong, all those weeks ago: at once he is Schlatt, alone at the end of his days, and there's Wilbur, old pals who'll be the death of each other. No. 

No. 

"I didn’t betray you, you teamed up with the very person that destroyed us the first time!" He feels his invis shimmer one more time, and the timing is immaculate, really. Cinematic, one might say. 

"I went for the discs— Tubbo, the discs— The discs were worth more than you ever were!" "No... Wh- Th-" The world stands still, and it feels so good, it's so good to finally say it, to watch Tubbo's face fall, his shield slipping from his hand, listen to the reactions around their little arena, watch as Tubbo shuts his mouth and yanks on the strap of his chestplate and lets it drop to the floor, leaving him defenceless and open to attack and wait- no- wait- 

Mutely, Tommy’s gaze drifts skyward, and it should feel good because they know now, they know how he feels, but it's not, it's not good because that- that wasn't true. That wasn't right. 

And he looks back at Tubbo, and finally, finally, his invis runs out, and he hopes it shows on his face, that he knows he's fucked up because Tubbo looks destroyed, and a shiver goes through him because he no longer looks angry he just- He just looks sad. 

He takes off his helmet, breathing heavily from the ache and exertion, heart burning in regret. 

‘The discs were worth more than you ever were.’

How do you fix that? For one crazy moment, he considers the invis again. Turning translucent and running, back to Techno- back to Technoblade who'd congratulate him on 'moving on' and tell Phil like he was proud and probably write that line on the fucking wall, how could he be such a monumental ass- 

"Tubbo?" Their eyes meet. Tubbo says nothing. 

"Give him the disc." 

He looks bewildered, "You want me to give Dream the disc?" He says, the tiniest sliver of something they used to have peeking through, the bearest hint of kindness, and bless him, it's more than Tommy deserves. It makes him want to go invisible again. 

He smiles softly, and it can't reach his eyes, but he pours every ounce of good left in him into it and desperately hopes it's enough.

"Yeah." And because he's fucked up, because he knows they can never go back from this: "I'm sorry Tubbo." 

--- 

He's done it again, he keeps fucking up. Sam's hand is holding him down by the shoulder, firm fingers digging into him, keeping him from reaching Ghostbur. 

He tried so hard. His throat is sore from not coughing. His muscles hurt from the pure tension and adrenaline coursing through his bloodstream, from his stubborn heart to the ends of his fingers and toes. He thought he'd gotten caught when he drank the potion in the waivers room, and his heart had been beating so loud that he'd thought Sam could hear it. 

Yet, they made it. But it doesn't matter, because he pulled out the axe too early, and now he's busted, and Sam's gonna kill him or Wilbur's going to come back or both, and it's all his fault. 

Every time he tries. Every time he tries to fix things, or do what's right, or have something for himself, it's taken away, destroyed and he's kicked to the ground. Every time. 

It's enough to make anyone want to be invisible.

[baubuttercup]

Mini Garcia pt1/ Spencer Reid

Summery: Y/N is the new Tech Analyst intern under her mentor Penelope Garcia and has just started her first day at the BAU. During a case Y/N get a few calls from a not so familiar boy genius who seeks her help...or does he seek more? 

Spencer Reid x Reader

Warning: Fluff/none 

A/N: This is the first of many stories i will be writing and i look forwarding to writing more. I haven’t fully edited it but hope you enjoy it :)

Please Interact for more Spencer Reid/ MGG fics!!

“you will be fine trust me, you are already a natural and thats coming from yours truly” you were so nervous because today was your first day working at the BAU as a Tech Analyst Intern. Penelope was the one who got you the job working along side her. She was your teacher, mentor, and even your close friend and you knew working with her would be nothing less than entertaining. “P what if they don’t like me or I don’t fit into their group, you told me that they were like family” you followed the women wearing a floral dress with glittery high heel through the halls of the FBI coming to a stop next to two glass doors. “Y/N before we go in you are going to take three deep breathes and snap the hell out of it, cause you my little prized protege, will fit in just fine, so stop over thinking and pull yourself together”. I inhale three breathes before she pulled the glass door opened guiding me into a large room which from memory i think she had called it the “Bullpen”.  As we walked in i noticed in the corner of my eyes a man and a women eyeing me up and down. The man was large and muscled, he was appealing to the eye, just not preferably my type “Babygirl who is this fine little thin-” Penelope put her hand out barricading me from the man “cool it hot cakes, she is pure” I chuckled under my breath at her immediate response “This Derek chocolate thunder Morgan is the new Intern, working beside me as i mentor her into become the next best Garcia, Y/n meet Derek Morgan” we both extend our hands to go in for a friendly handshake “Oh and this fine ass piece of women is Jennifer Jareau” I smile shaking the pretty blondes hand “JJ for short its lovely to meet you” she hesitated for a moment before continuing “You seem so young, if you don’t mind me asking how old you are” I nervously try not to stutter upon my words “Oh um-m yeah i’m 20, but I got into the early acceptance program for computer programming and coding at Georgetown and now i’m here” Derek and JJ both exchange stairs before Derek opens his mouth “you, princess should meet our resident genius, i’m sure you two would get along quite well” JJ chuckles before giving Derek a smirk “OH YES how could I have forgotten about boy genius, where is he by the way” A tall dark haired man and a slightly shorter Italian looking man appeared from behind us “Reid and Prentiss are at a conference they will be meeting us in San Francisco” He looked intently at the group surrounding me then turned to look at me “You must be Y/N L/N, i’m Aaron Hotchner but please call me Hotch, and this is David Rossi, we are happy to have you on board, Garcia has spoken very highly of you” both men shake my hand firmly “I’m glad to be on board sir and thank you for this amazing opportunity” Hotch goes to say something before he was cut off by a text message appearing on his phone. “Wheels us now, they need us down their asap, Garcia brief us on the plane” and with that they were all making their way to the elevator. “Come on little Einstein we have work to do”

--

Garcia had just finished briefing the team on the case they were assigned to. From what i could catch it was about a Zodiac killer who had been killing over a decade ago and has recently just started up again. I tried to listen in and take note on everything Garcia was doing because god knows this job is fast past and i don’t want to fall behind on my first day. I found myself continuously zoning out thinking back to what that Morgan guy said about a “resident genius”. Who was he and why was Morgan so sure we would get along. So many questions were crossing my mind, before i heard Garcia’s voice continuously saying “Earth to my little oracle, hello, Y/N come back down to earth little one” i snap back to reality seeing Garcia waving her hand in front of of me “oh sorry- P who was that resident genius Morgan spoke about earlier” she spun in her chair making eye contact with me smirking “Oh my god yes Reid, how could i forget again. So you didn’t meet Emily Prentiss she is a total kick ass babe who is super cool and Spencer Reid who is a total genius with an eidetic memory and a whopping I.Q of 187″ i began to open my mouth to say something when Garcia interrupted “you guys would totally be so cute together, i need to set you two up, it would be a match made in heaven” I blush, a little taken back by the abrupt comments made by Garcia who is now really cheery “P calm down i haven’t event met the guy and i think you are a little in over your head” she looks at me still smirking “you are already intrigued by him aren’t you” just as i was about to stop her, the computer phone began to ring and the caller I.D was most clearly someone i didn’t even know yet but for some reason already was under affect by “ANSWER IT” Garcia motioned to the headset on my head “no i don’t even know what to say” she pointed at me with her fluffy unicorn pen “answer the phone i trained you for this” I reluctantly answered and within seconds i was met with a masculine yet soft voice on the other line “Hey Garcia I need you to track the ISP of the user who entered the spam comment to an internet cafe” I immediately got butterflies in my stomach, no stop Y/N you have never met this person and Garcia is just getting in your head, you continue to remind yourself. “U-mm i’m sorry I-I’m not Garcia i’m Y/N L/N the new Tech Analyst intern” I began to fidget with my figures staring between the plasma computer screens and Garcia “Oh Hi, I’m Reid, I mean I’m Spencer, let me start over I’m Dr Spencer Reid but you can call me Spencer or Reid, nice to meet you” my nerves begin to calm at the sound of his voice and the fact that he sounded just as nervous as me. I look to Garcia as she was smiling and motioning her hands to continue the conversation “Oh um-m sorry, you needed me to track the ISP of the user who entered the spam comment to an internet cafe...right?”I patiently await his response, which seemed like forever “Yeah, if you can do that, that would be great, thanks” I look to Garcia once again as she gives me a reassuring smile of encouragement before i turn to the monitors and type away, I remember everything Garcia taught me about the bureau system and was surprising easier to manoeuvre once actually assigned to a task “Hey um Reid, you still there?” thinking maybe he hung up “still here buttercup...um i mean Y/N” Garcia nudged me overhearing what Reid had just said and was cheering in the air, I quickly regained focus “so yeah unfortunately the unsub used a prepaid credit card, so I don’t have an I.D, i’m sorry” i felt my nerves regain their position in my stomach as i thought i didn’t do a good job “Thats okay, thanks for your help L/N and am excited to meet you in person, hopefully soon” I blush quickly at his comment, this going unnoticed by Garcia who is in her own world of happiness at the moment. “Yeah same goes for you, take care and if you need anything else you know where to find us” I end the call not wanting to make anymore of a fool of myself than i already have “BUTTERCUP, HE CALLED YOU BUTTERCUP” I groan at Garcia’s response already embarrassed by the ordeal “Y/N i know Reid and i have know him for many years, never in my time of being in boy geniuses presence have i ever heard him call someone BUTTERCUP” a million things swoop through my mind in that moment, why did he call me that, was it a fluke, was he just trying to be friendly, what am i saying i have literally never met this guys before its for sure nothing. I turn my head to Garcia giving her a please stop looking at me face, before she puts her hands up in defence” Okay okay i’ll stop, but you guys would make cute babies” she whispered the last part just loud enough for me to catch it. 

--

As time goes on I observe everything Garcia continues to do in order to find the details of the unsub. This job although seeming like fun is very high pressure and i made sure i noted down everything that Garcia done so i didn’t seem like the biggest failure in front of the team, or one team member in particular. The phone rang once again causing Garcia to answer it “He who seeks the queen of all knowledge, speak and be recognised” I chuckle under my breath at the witty response before i felt a tap on my shoulder “Pretty boy wants to speak with you” I give her a confused look “Boy genius, girly” I straighten up and answer my headset “Hello L/N speaking” i try to analyse why on earth he would want to speak with me and before he got a chance to answer a million conclusions were rushing through my mind “Hey L/N, long time no speak” there was a pause in the background before i heard a male chuckle and whisper “thats one way to get the girl Reid” he cleared his throat before continuing on “So i just thought i’d give you more training so can you run something for me” I physically prepare myself for what he is about to ask, ensuring i don’t screw this up “I need you to compile a list of people with I.Qs of 160 and above in the region” I type away trying to speed up so i don’t slow the team down “I’m checking with the bay area mensa society which is kind of slumming cause folks can get in with a measly I.Q of 130″ Reid chuckled at my statement making me feel more comfortable about what i was doing “try and check old school records, we’re looking for someone who is in his 20′s or 30′s” as I am intensely try my best to recover these names it appears in front of me “BINGO, Caleb Rossmore and Harvey Morell, they both have I.Qs over 160 and get this they both use to write about the Zodiac in their junior high school newspaper” I smile at myself, kinda proud at what i just accomplished on my own “thats amazing, thanks Y/N and tell Garcia she has the best intern” I smile to myself satisfied that i done something right and that Reid thought so too. “Yes that’s my little Einstein, ah you are moulding into a beautiful little Garcia, how proud i am right now

--

The team had just got back from catching both Caleb Rossmore and Harvey Morell and Garcia had gone to greet Morgan at the elevators. I had stayed behind packing my belonging as i was ready to head home to my fluffy dog Milo and sleep for hours. A knock on the door startled me. I abruptly turn around and was met with a tall figure who had beautiful brown eyes and shaggy hair. “Hi, I’m so sorry to have startled you, I’m Spencer Reid the one that kept annoying you on the phone” I feel my cheeks heat up from the sight of how pretty this boy was “um yes, i mean no you weren't annoying at all if anything you gave me the training i need, so i should be thanking you, and I’m Y/N L/N” Reid stuck out his hand which took me by surprise because according to Garcia he was not a handshaker and refused to shake hands with anyone, stating that even kissing was more sanitary “Well, in that case i’m glad to be of assistance and its nice to officially meet you Y/N” we stared in each others eyes for a few moments before we were met by Penelope and Morgan “Hey guys you have met, yay, okay now can we go this princess is getting bags under her eyes and those aren’t the kind of bags i want” we all laugh at Garcia’s remark as we start to head towards the elevator. “So I heard you went to Georgetown” i look up at the brunette boy who was gazing down at me “yeah, I actually graduated this year, which i’m kind of sad” “oh why’s that” I look straight into his eyes “I like educating myself, and expanding my field of study is something that i genuinely enjoy, so i’m kind of sad its over, but i’m looking at going for my PHD in Computer engineering” Reid looked me deeper in my eyes without saying anything, just then i heard a murmur “they will make such cute babies and i’m going to be the best godmother” and with that the elevator doors open and we all began to file in. 

I may have just met Spencer Reid but i have a feeling we are definitely going to be getting along. 

[stardust-kenobi]

Let Me Help You

Obi Wan x Reader

Summary: Obi Wan isn’t very tech-savy, and he wants you to help him with his computer while you two sit in the Jedi Temple library. You offer your assistance, and decide to help him in other ways, too.

Warnings: smut, dub-con!!, male oral receiving, public oral sex

Word count: 2k

A/N: ⚠️please DO NOT read if you’re uncomfortable with dub-con. It’s not for everyone. (In this specific plot it’s used because Obi Wan is trying to be a good Jedi) Consent is slightly more clear right before the act.

This was requested by anon! Thanks lovely, hope you enjoy 💕

(my gif)

Obi Wan’s face became more frustrated by the second. You sat across from him in the Temple library. You’d joined your friend today because he wanted the company while he completed some tasks undoubtedly related to his Jedi duties. 

“You alright?” You inquired, attempting to withhold a giggle at the sight of a man who is so usually calm becoming annoyed at technology.

“This datapad is going to drive me mad” he huffed. His fingers furiously tapped away at his attempted tasks.

“Sounds like a user-error” you teased him while continuing to stare at him. He looked up at you, obviously trying not to smile back. “And it’s a desktop computer, so, not technically a data pad” you jokingly corrected him.

“Well, whatever it is, it doesn’t like me very much” he remarked and returned his attention to the illuminated screen.

“What exactly are you trying to do?”

“I’m trying to navigate the archives here but it keeps telling me I’m typing in invalid coordinates” his voice grew more annoyed.

“Would you like my help?” You offered kindly

“No, that’s not necessary.” He politely declined.

You waited, not responding, knowing he’d change his mind after another failed attempt. His eyes shot upward at you across the table and quickly looked back down, but then hesitantly returned to your gaze.

“Maybe I could use your help, y/n” he finally admitted.

“Mhm, that’s what I thought” you rose from your seat and headed around the table. You observed the room, and no one was around. You hadn’t seen anyone in the library since you walked in. You could probably hear a pin drop in the vast silence. You came around behind his chair and leaned down next to him. Obi Wan’s eyes could not have been less discreet as they peered over to your chest that was now at his eye level. Your shirt was low cut, and perhaps a little too tight, but nothing you wouldn’t normally wear. You noticed but said nothing to Obi Wan, just flattered that he wanted to look.

“Let me try and enter the coordinates. What were they?” You inquired. He gave you the same numbers he had been typing in. You unfortunately found yourself having the same issue he was having. Obi Wan laughed, mocking you for thinking it was his fault.

“User-error, was it?” He teased you. You shook your head and giggled.

“Let me try something else” you said. You attempted other methods in order to make it work. 

“Why don’t you pull up a chair?” He suggested.

You looked around, there were no chairs close, except for your chair on the other side of the table.

“Oh no, that’s alright” you shrugged, but then an idea crept into your devious, sexually deprived head. You checked your surroundings again, no one was in the library. It was late, anyways, so it wasn’t unusual.

Obi Wan’s lap sat there, open and empty, legs spread open, as if it was waiting on you to fill the space. You slowly moved your hips downward and over onto his thighs. He didn’t say a word, protest, or even make a sound, until you were fully seated on his unprepared lap.

“Oh, um...alright then” he stuttered, unsure what to say, but didn’t reject you either.

“Sorry, I saw a perfectly good seat and took it. That okay?” You clearly played innocent.

He roughly cleared his throat and breathed out hard. His built up sexual tension was obvious, and you preyed on it guiltlessly.

“No problem at all” he chuckled, finally responding to you. Continuing to work at the computer in your new found seat, you rotated your hips side to side subtly, pressing more firm into him. Hardly any time had passed before you felt him grow aroused under your ass. You smirked, loving the effect you were having on him.

“Oh, there we go, it worked!” you announced suddenly. The screen displayed the archive location that he searched for, after tweaking with the settings for a bit.

“What worked?” He breathed out, clearly more flustered than the last time he spoke. It was as if he was snapped out of a trance. He was incredibly distracted and couldn’t even recall for the moment what you were even helping him with.

“The...computer?” You stated the obvious, turning around sharply to meet his eyes.

“Right!” He shyly remembered.

His erection was continuing to grow and he wondered if you could feel it against you.

“Something wrong, Obi Wan?” You asked him, Both of you were fully aware of what was happening, but the lack of direct communication refused to acknowledge it plainly.

“Oh, I’m fine” He replied, clearing his throat again.

“You sure? You seemed flustered” You pushed the conversation further.

“Y-yes I'm, uh, I’m sure” he stumbled over his words.

“Seems like you’re having a hard time with your words there, Master Kenobi” you purred, wasting no time dancing around the idea. “Well, something is hard” you smirked, getting close to his face while sitting sideways across his thighs.

His breath hitched in his throat when he heard your voice turn sensual. Obi Wan said nothing because he wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted you, that you could tell, but a man that lived so strictly by the Jedi code would be hard to crack. And in public? He’d be insane to let you seduce him.

“Y/n...” he groaned deeply. His body language communicating how hard it was to restrain himself.

“Yes?” You whispered while moving your lips to his bare neck. You placed your lips at his supple skin and pecked slowly and lightly.

“As lovely as this is, I can’t” he protested. “It’s forbidden for me to engage in this, y/n, you know that”

Regardless, your lips continued working at his neck. A hum, almost resembling a moan, crawled from his mouth.

“You’re telling me, that if I got on my knees, right now, right here in front of you, that you wouldn’t want me to suck your cock?” You purred so softly directly into his ear. You observed the chills that cascading down his body and you smiled against his skin.

“Stars, y/n, I’ve never heard you talk like this” He avoided the question, his breathing still tense. You felt his hips buck slightly up into your weight.

“I know how stressed you are, Obi Wan, let me help you” you offered. He looked into your eyes for a moment. Desperation was hidden deep in his gaze. He wanted a release, but had to make a decision of his morality and his loyalty to the Jedi Order.

“You want to do that to me...here?” He inquired the absurdity of your offered actions and especially there in public. His tone was so innocent and clueless to your attraction to him.

“Oh, Master Kenobi, it’d be my pleasure” you called him by his formal name yet again, even though you’d only ever called him Obi Wan. You assumed it might turn him on. You were right.

You softly press your lips onto his. He received your lips hesitantly, but then eagerly. You moved to straddle him, placing both legs on either side of his hips. You pushed your hips forward, curling them into his bulge. Becoming more comfortable with your touch, Obi Wan’s lips danced with yours passionately.

Butterflies fluttered in your belly as you finally acted on your eager built up desires for him.

“But, y/n, the Council -” he began again, breaking the kiss, and still worried for his long list of ethical restrictions on his life.

“I don’t see them here...do you? And we both know Anakin doesn’t follow the rules, does he?” You persisted.

“Well, no. I suppose you’re right” he whispered back, laughing quietly at your comment. He was nervous, but it was impossible for him to hide his new hunger for your lips around his cock.

“Allow yourself some fun, Master”

“Y/n, I want to, but I’ve never done anything like this before” He admitted casually.

“Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you” you sweetly assured him.

“Okay, darling, but I do believe we must make this quick” he finally fully accepted the idea, but looked quickly around the very large room to confirm you were alone together.

“Oh it won’t take me long at all” you winked at him.

Removing yourself from his lap, his eyes never left you as he was unsure of your next step. You got on your knees in front of him, as you promised. His hands eagerly fumbled to pull his trousers down. You met his hands halfway and took over.

His cock begged to be let free from its restraints. Once the cloth passed his full length, it sprung out and met your eye level. He was so adorably nervous. You released a moan at the sight of him exposed to you.

You wrapped your hand around him and the contact made him twitch. He breathed out heavily as he’d never been touched like this by another person. Your eyes met his lustful gaze. You raised your eyebrows, non verbally asking If he was ready. He nodded his head, and you proceeded.

Your lips parted widely to bring him into your mouth. Your eyes locked as you lowered your mouth completely down his length, taking all of him into you. A feeling so unfamiliar to him caused Obi Wan to grip the arm rest of the chair. He breathed in sharply, and exhaled the sweetest moan. Using the moisture from your mouth, you glided yourself up and down slowly.

“Oh my stars, y/n” he whispered. You two knew you still needed to be quiet, in case someone was close.

Obi Wan was so sensitive and touch starved beyond belief. No matter how hard he tried to muffle himself, he was unsuccessful. Your ears were graced with the delicate sounds escaping his lips as you brought him more pleasure than he’d ever experienced before.

“Fuck” he cried, already so close to his climax from your skilled motions. Vulgarity flying from him was a new sound to you and it earned a warm sensation inside of you.

An aching formed between your legs, a feeling of pleasure that was all too familiar to you. You wanted him to take you right then and there, but you’d surely get caught. Another time, you thought.

Removing your mouth to rest your jaw, you pumped your hands around him. You looked up at him, his eyes had still not broken contact with you while you created a euphoric form of pleasure for him for the first time.

“Y/n...” he whimpered

“Yes, Master Kenobi?” You cooed and smiled at him. He formed a grin down at you that quickly turned back into his O-face as you pumped him faster.

“I’m...oh my” he started, his body couldn’t stay still.

“Are you gonna cum for me?”

“Oh, yes, y/n. I’m so close. I’m gonna cum” he whined.

You returned the moisture of your mouth back to his cock and sloppily, yet rhythmically, sucked him continuously, responding to the way his body moved and the sound of his moans. The veins in his length twitched and his hips shifted.

Obi Wan threw his head back in ecstasy and just then you felt your throat become coated in his hot cum. The suppression of the growls that formed from his climax was intense and deep, somehow loud and quiet simultaneously.

You swallowed him up and removed your mouth from his sensitive parts. Obi Wan’s head was still laid back, you watched as his chest rose and fell with the effort to catch his breath.

“Was that alright?” You asked, giggling, knowing the answer already.

“Well, I...darling that was...incredible” he finally expressed in between his deep breaths.

You helped him pull his trousers back up and plant a kiss on his cheek as you stood.

“Glad I could be of some assistance for you tonight” you winked.

He was blushing, still in disbelief that you two just engaged in such an act. He was so precious and shy about the whole thing, but enjoyed every single second of it.

“Perhaps maybe I can help you next time, hm?” He suggested. You bite your lip, already growing eager for the next time you’d be alone with him.

Kinda wanna make a part 2??

[junisfics]

addressing this post — 06/08/21

tw: mentions of: eating disorders, "skinnyphobia", fatphobia, sexual assault, rape, racism.

note: it is very probable that i may add things onto this post as things progress, so please be patient with me. i'm going to open up my ask box to be open to criticism, but i will not be responding to any that aren't questions.

to provide context.

the origins of this post has come from an earlier thread found here. in this thread, said user created some sort of “blocklist” with a list of tagged users and what they’ve done wrong. in said post, it’s stated that i defend individuals who write noncon/dubcon, which is true. as a victim of sexual assault and rape i find rape fiction as a form of a way i gain my control back, but thats besides the point.

in response to this post, i created a list of things that ive also done that could be seen as problematic which you’ll be able to see if you scroll a little lower. in this list, i disclose a few things; some of which are sarcastic, and others which are not. it is my mistake that i did not include tone indicators to differentiate the sort.

i thought that it was okay to make a joke out of this situation, which i truly shouldnt have thought. my intention was to make the “victims” of that post feel better about their inclusion in it by joking about the subject. i didn’t intitally take this post as something serious, which is why i was so open about joking about it. i always saw block lists as something petty or something to joke about, which is why i joke about it.

racism.

(technically ethnicity, but mentions of me being white were also brought up)

in this list, i start with the fact that ive called my friend callie (who is mexican) a b*aner. which is a slur used against mexican people. i am mexican. im 75% mexican, as an estimate, for i do not know my full history due to the fact that im adopted. but also, even though i am mexican, i am decently white passing depending on context. on days where i straighten my hair, im white. but on days where i wear my hair naturally, its very hard to tell what race/ethnicity i am. 

as a mexican person, i have faced discrimination both societally and systematically for being mexican. obviously, since im white majority of the time, societal prejudice towards me isnt as great as systematic prejudice is. but there have been moments where i have been called slurs for my appearence (whether or not those slurs applied to me)

given the fact that i have been derogatorily called a b*aner, i believed that i had every right to say this word given the fact that it has been used against me, and because i have been mexican.

im so incredibly sorry if my use of the slur has brought hurt to anyone. although that was not my intention to hurt anyone, i realize that i have hurt people in the process and im incredibly sorry for doing so.

also, the fact that ive brought race/ethnicity up has been heavily brought into question. the only reason i included the fact that ive said “racist” things towards my friend callie was to show that i was being sarcastic with my following statement that im “skinnyphobic”

“skinnyphobia”

this was one of the situations where i am at fault for not using a tone indicator. i am completely aware that skinnyphobia does not exist, i am also completely aware that hurt that skinny people may feel in society is no where near the oppression fat people feel.

the reason i included this as a bullet point was because me and my friend group have a running joke about being “skinnyphobic” due to the amount of hate my fat friends have recieved from skinny girls both online and in their pasts. we all know that skinnyphobia isnt real. this is similar to how we also joke that we are “racist to white people”. we also know that racism towards white people does not exist, the same way that “skinnyphobia” does not exist. our joking about this was purely satirical and ironic.

i realize that ive hurt many of my fat AND skinny followers by the inclusion of this poor joke and im incredibly sorry for doing so. it is completely my fault for not including a tone indicator, but it is also my fault for thinking that this would be an okay joke to make.

fatphobia.

next in the list of things was my inclusion that i used to run a thinspo blog. a while ago, before i wrote fanfiction, this blog used to be a thinspo blog. i have been very open about the fact that i used to be very mentally ill, had a very bad eating disorder, and that this blog used to be a thinspo blog. since then, this blog has been completely wiped of all content including any sort of thinspo or pro eating disorder content.

i believed that it was okay to joke about the fact that i formerly used to run a thinspo blog because of the fact that ive changed so much since then. im absolutely embarassed of the person i used to be and how pro-ed i used to be as well. although i am still healing, and i still have trouble with my eating habits, i am in no way near as unhealthy or mentally ill as i was then.

it came to my attention through this post that someone who was fat was deeply offended by my joking about how i used to run a thinspo blog. i addressed it in that post, which you can read if you want to.

that post and my response was taken as a joke, i never intended my response to come off as a joke, it was completely genuine. i believed that i had every right to joke about my traumatic past given the fact that it was mine, but given that, i had failed to take into consideration on how my jokes about my past may effect other people.

i am terribly sorry if me joking about a thinspo blog offended you. eating disorders arent funny, thinspo blogs arent funny, and using my own experience with an eating disorder shouldnt be used as an excuse to joke about one.

also, on the topic of eating disorders, the eating disorder i specifically had (anorexia) is heavily centered around fatphobia. societal desires to be skinny, as well as my own desire to be found pretty in the eyes of other people, drew me to developing an eating disorder that caused me to be severly underweight.

in my past, i see how my desire to be skinny was fatphobic. i absolutely understand that and im so incredibly sorry if my experience has brought anyone pain or harm.

since that time when i had anorexia, ive healed immensely. ive learned to love and accept all bodies and all people. even though my actions in the past have had fatphobic intentions, i can gurantee that i am not fatphobic now. ive tried my best to be an active advocate against fatphobia, to speak out against the biases towards skinny people in fanfiction. 

i can claim everything i want, but claims can do nothing for you, and your opinion on me heavily relies on my actions. but my actions have shown otherwise, and in the process i have hurt many of my fat followers by the revelation of me previously owning a thinspo blog.

in the end, ive hurt many people today both intentionally and unintentionally and im truly sorry for my actions. i should have realized that my experiences with such topics should not be taken the same as others experiences, and my comfortability with jokes is not the same as others comfortability.

[juuls]

Hi Reylo community!

Latest edit: First of all! —I am more than happy to help people who want to give podficcing a try, just send me a message and we can work out details, figure out answers to your questions, etc. I would just love to see more people recording podfics!

It’s easy to be a podficcer; nothing special is needed and I’m happy to provide tips for simple podficcing! In fact I sorta ramble about my process here in this Answered Ask and include 3 basic tutorials.

To the Reylo community at large (writers, artists, readers, lurkers, everyone!): If you could pick one of your, preferably, complete (or at least a fair number of chapters in and being updated) fanfics that you would like to have a podfic made out of... which would it be?

I’d love to create a list of works where authors have given permission to podfic their fics, whether short or long, and to contribute to the new Reylo Podfic Collection!

But I’d love to use this tumblr thread as a.... thought exercises, I suppose, and permission, too, for people to podfic your work.

While I do do podficcing for Marvel... it just makes me want to do so much more Reylo stuff! There’s so few pieces out there compared to the bevy of Marvel stuff, but honestly, every time there’s a new (Reylo) podfic—it breathes new life back into the fic, the author, the ship, the fandom..... plus you personally feel awesome for the performance high and for bringing a smile to the writer’s face. That’s the best thing ever and I adore doing it, no matter how ‘simple’ the podfic may be.

So, AUTHORS, which of your fics would you like to see podficced? Blanket permission for any?

And READERS!!!—which of your favourite fics, short or long, G or T or M or E... would you love to listen to, or think deserves the verbal treatment? :D

Old, new. Canon-Compliant, Modern AU. Canon-Adjacent or Post-Canon. Post-movie Fix-It or forget-the-movie Fix-It. Gen, Teen, Unrated, Mature, or Explicit. A/B/O or Soulmates. Bendemption or Renperor. Senator Ben or Jedi Ben. Fuck-Jakku Rey or Must-Return Rey. Hopeful Rey or Antagonistic Rey. Blocked Force Bond or Open. Good or evil. Take his hand or don’t. Pre-Canon, post-TFA, post-TLJ, or TroS—I don’t know her.

Come one, come any, come all! What would you pick to podfic?

Pod together with us!

I’ll keep the list of approved fics updated if we get enough replies! I do so hope we do! I love Reylo, you love Reylo, who doesn’t want their fic put to voice? And also, let’s breathe some new forms of life into this fandom! Celebrate it with me!

(Sometimes there are already podfics done for a particular fic but you can always 1, welcome another for your own fic, and 2, request of an author to see if you can perform an additional reading of their fic—each podfic is different and special in their own way.)

Do you feel how awesome this could be?

They do.

Blanket permission for any of these user’s fics: *

Nymja

TheOriginalSuki [[“Maybe skip the Welsh epitaphs, ha!”]]

Politicalmamaduck [[Tall Tales of the Western Wilds has previously been podficced by @luminoustico and @quickficradio 🧡!]]

Perry_Downing [[Devotion has already been podficced, and Powerless, Thwarted, He Knows, and Unbidden claimed.]]

Crossingwinter

EllieCarina [[In My Bloodstream has been claimed.]]

DragonWhiskers [[any completed works]]

PalenDrome (nerdherderette) [[any and all fics, ships, fandoms]]

🌟

Podfics welcome for specific fics (permission given): *

Delicious Ambiguity by Juulna (~24.8k)

Shadowed by Juulna (~5.6k)

Little Earthquakes by LochTayBoatSong (~5.3k)

the breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you by LochTayBoatSong (~36.1k)

Asking Price by SouthsideStory and ReyloTrashCompactor (~33.2k, 13/15 chapters)

Things Not Seen by SouthSideStory (~13.8k)

Chains by Veggieheist @veggieheist (~295.5k, 67/? chapters) [[contact author as they wish to re-edit the beginning of the fic]]

Dream House by sleepyowlet @sleepyowlet (~11k) [[“I read it out loud to myself and because I wrote it with the Dreamlands cycle as background noise, it has the same kind of feel to it. You just need to find a podficcer who can read consentacles without cracking up.”]]

Camera Shy by Sophia Ravencrest @sophiaravencrest (~23.8k)

Blades Crossed by the-reylo-void @the-reylo-void (~27.1k)

enemies-to-lovers by the-reylo-void (~59.6k) **

Within Monsters by AnonymousMink (~132.6k)

Hiraeth by TheOriginalSuki @theoriginalsuki (~47.9k)

Blood is Thicker Than Whatever This Is... by DragonWhiskers @belovedunderwing (~1.5k)

Siren’s Song by DragonWhiskers (~22.5k)

✨

Specific fics we’d love to see in podfic form and currently awaiting permission from their authors: [[fics granted permission moved to ‘Podfics Welcome’ list]]

Ashes of the Empire by Skyelo_Ren @dancingpenguin57 (~128.4k)

The Moon, the Sun, and the Star Inbetween. by Silvershine @silvershiner (~120.1k)

can’t turn off what turns me on by audreyii_fic @audreyii-fic (~26.1k)

Tactical Surrender by destinies @destiniesfic (~155.8k)

🌙

Claimed with permission:

landscape with a blur of conquerors by diasterisms @kylorenvevo (~362.9k) and To Kingdom Come (~145.7k) [[claimed by @isitcoolthatisaidallthat18]]

In My Bloodstream by EllieCarina @jackpotgirl (~103k) [[Claimed by @juuls — awaiting pre-production edits, recording will begin, soon followed by posting, in a handful of months]]

connected in the deep and Split Soul by Juulna (~2.5k and ~1.3k each) [[short ficlets currently claimed for practice by @lochtayboatsong]]

Powerless by Perry_Downing @perrydowning (~213k) [[claimed by @juuls and will begin work on it in early- to mid-January]]

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink @anonymousmink (~22.3k) [[claimed by @isitcoolthatisaidallthat18]]

Thwarted (~358k), He Knows He Needs To Stop (~140.5k) and Unbidden by Perry_Downing (~183.8k) @perrydowning [[claimed by @isitcoolthatisaidallthat18]]

* “Please claim” even if just replying to this post or sending me an Ask or DM so I can edit the post. Mutiple podfics are flattering to the author but some podficcers really don’t like to be ‘one of many’. Absolutely valid. You can even create a placeholder AO3 ‘podfic’ and link it as inspired by said fic, so people can see that it’s being worked on... as long as permission has been granted first, or course, sillies! :)

** Although an unconventional fic format, this fic can certainly be podficced by using (1) different tones of voice for thoughts, fic summaries, different sorts of text, and/or (2) different tones of pings/chimes/whatever for the text messages from different characters, and/or (3) adding in an extra line of, for example: *ping* “text message from thekyloren reads as follows…” OR (4), if you want to get fancy, you could have some friends assist you by recording any of the messages from ‘their’ character. That would be a lot of fun, in fact! Another option is (5) where you would split your recordings and give an audible indication to read the message, followed again by a new audio file, etc. Only problem with this approach is if there are too many breaks in the audio and you end up going from one to the other too many times in a row.

💫

And please, reblog and spread the word for this project! No project can operate by its lonesome; it needs help from the community it belongs to. ❤️ Here’s another link to the Reylo Podfics Collection!

Thank you so much!

[saphirered]

Hello! What do you think it would be like if Essek had a fire genasi S/o, like they're normal really calm and collected unlike most fire genasi but the times they do get really general angry it's like watching a volcano erupt! (Maybe they got angry cause Essek got hurt by someone?) Thank you!

Essek is so caught up in his work he doesn’t even hear you enter his laboratory. Papers are strewn about, books opened, some flat, some propped agains anything and everything for better readability. The sound of the metal nib of a fine pen moving across paper, the only constant in the room besides the occasional mutter to himself.

You knock on the door. No response. You call out his name. Nothing. You think whatever Essek’s working on must be very important to have him be so unaware of his surroundings. You notice Essek’s in his robe, shoes and a shirt given the mostly exposed lower arms. Did he not get dressed in the morning? Or did he simply never go to sleep? You’re not sure. Could be both. Could be either.

Since he’s not responding you simply approach. You place a hand on his shoulder, slide it down over his chest as you kiss his temple. You look over the pages out in front of him as he slowly becomes aware of your presence, leaning into your kiss.

“What are you up to?” You ask softly recognising some of the spells as the schematics of healing magic and to a lesser extend regeneration. Essek must have noticed your confusion as he quickly pulls from your grasp, begins to gather the papers and pile them together, closing the books as he goes.

“Nothing of importance. I did not hear you enter.” Essek gets up leaning against the desk and faces you with a smile reaching for you and pulling you closer to the point you no longer have visual on any of the papers and books. He’s definitely hiding something.

“I knocked, and called your name. You seemed to be pretty caught up in whatever you were working on.” You try to look past him but the moment you do his hand finds its way to your cheek brushing his thumb over it lovingly.

“My apologies. Shall we go somewhere else? I think I’ve been crammed up in this study long enough for today. Perhaps some fresh air will suit us both?” Essek suggest with a somewhat nervous laugh. You smile back at him and give him a kiss. If he’s not going to talk, you’ll find out yourself and you’re prepared to use whatever you can to get to the bottom of this.

Reaching for the stack of papers behind him once they are securely in your grasp you break the kiss taking several steps back and leaf through the notes before he can get to you. So not just healing magic… herbology, physiology and anatomy, manual healing, treating injuries, medicine, recipes for concoctions, ointments and potions to cure anything from bruises to broken bones, wounds and burns.

“Why the sudden interest in the art of healing?” You frown as the pages are snatched from your grasp and the drow holds them behind his back with an unreadable expression, head held high; the same one he uses whenever he’s dealing with any kind of official and none casual business.

“A sudden interest. I found myself with time to spare and decided to spend it learning until your return. And since you’re here, there’s no need to continue.” You notice the nervous smile break through again leaving you more leery of Essek. If he’s gonna play this game you’ll play along but last you remembered chess is a two player game and you’re not about to be tricked into making a certain move by the wizard.

“You misunderstand. I’m not judging your ‘sudden interest’ nor questioning your reasonings for wishing to study healing. However, last I remember you were the one to tell me healing magic is not exactly within your capabilities. I’m just curious.” You take a step closer to Essek and he steps back. You take another and close enough to the desk he puts the stack of paper back where it was before he steps back in towards you.

“There are some very capable healers among my friends and you are an exceptional one. I simply wish to learn the deeper meanings to the abilities they have at their fingertips and gain a better understanding of it.” You smile at him innocently. Such a liar. Such. A. Liar. Half truth if we’re being technical but deception nonetheless.

“Well then, I would leave you to your studies but I have missed you, Essek.” You kiss his cheek snaking one arm around his waist. You can see the panic in his eyes. Normally he’d happily indulge, return your affections without even a second of doubt. He pulls the robe around his torso a little closer as your free hand dances up his chest and over his shoulder.

The moment you reach his shoulder he grits his teeth, jaw tightening holding back a a whimper or a gasp as his entire posture freezes up. You quickly remove your hand and look at him worried. Essek gives you a look of defeat as you put a bit more space between the two of you, allowing you to move freely.

“Essek…” You all but threaten as you reach for the neckline of the robe. He has half the mind to stop you but refrains from doing so with a sigh as you push the fabric aside.

His shoulder and upper arm seem very much bruised, the bone slightly out of place. Seeing it continues over the top of his shoulder you turn him around inspecting his back too. Two deep cuts, luckily no longer bleeding mare the back of his shoulder. The injuries agitated, left untreated. Essek sighs deeply as you gasp at the sight.

“What happened?” You go over the outline of the open wounds, careful not to touch.

“Let’s just say the Martinet Daleth did not appreciate my comments on his personal relations very much.” Essek grits his teeth as you accidentally brush over a particularly painful area. You bite your lower lip keeping yourself from making a snarky remark but can’t prevent yourself from feeling the threads of control slip. How could he have done something so stupid? He’s aware how powerful those people are, not only that, in the position he is in, being less than friendly will not do him well in any circumstance when he doesn’t have any leverage anymore.

“Have you gone mad?!” That may have come out a little less… calm than you had hoped it would. Deciding to focus on the now and not all the things you may want to say, shout or scream, or actions you may want to take, you instead focus on healing the worst. You make sure the wounds are clean before they close up, reset the bone in the right position and allow the bruises to fade.

As your magic sets in and begins to work its wonders Essek lets out a breath of relief, rubbing at his priorly injured shoulder testing its movability. Nothing remains of the injuries and you’re able to contain the fire feel burning within your chest and throat. You take a few deep breaths as Essek thanks you.

Brushing Essek off, knowing the way well enough, you head for the component pantry. Essek follows behind you calling after you but out of fear of blowing up in his face you keep going and ignore him. You go over the shelves grabbing jars and vials as you go. You had to channel your anger somewhere so if this was going to be it, then so it be.

You had worked very hard to keep your own fury contained when it arose. You’re usually calm and collected even in the most dire of situations, but when someone comes for your friends, let alone lover, you will put the burning fires of the Nine Hells to shame, living up to the ‘hell hath no fury’ expression. It’s also a side you prefer to keep away from your loved ones if it can be avoided.

Normally a few deep breaths, counting to ten and another few deep breaths would do. In the rare cases that didn’t work you’d try occupying yourself with something else entirely. But now… you’re slipping. You can feel the rage burning within, so to the components you turn.

You pick up another vial inspecting it and Essek interrupts placing himself between you and your already gathered components.

“I don’t know what you’re planning but please, don’t do anything you’ll come to regret.” Essek practically begs. He takes the vial from your hand but drops it immediately, hissing in pain. The vial shatters as he waves his hand as if to cool it down. You push past him, gather the components and throw them into a sack as you leave the pantry. Essek quickly follows behind still clutching his hand to cool it down.

“Where are you going?” You stop, put on the most composed look you can and turn around to face him.

“I’m going to murder the leader of an infamous order of magic users. Now if you will excuse me, enjoy the rest of your day.” Words like poison. No more anger, just pure unrestrained hatred. You turn back around and continue your way towards the front door. You clench your fists feeling the burning heat gather within your palms.

“Don’t do anything stupid! You’ll get yourself killed!” Essek shouts after you but you keep walking. He calls your name. “Do not do anything stupid!” He repeats. You stop in your tracks feeling as if something inside of you just snaps. The last thread of your composure perhaps.

“Don’t do anything stupid? Anything stupid he says!” You throw your hands in the air.

“Like how you didn’t do anything completely and utterly stupid when you did what you did? How you lied to so many people, were the one responsible for so many terrible things. Or how you made choices ignoring the consequences of your actions?” You shout back, the ground beneath your feet’s temperature starts rising to the point where you are scorching the fine carpet beneath. Admittedly, your words are a low blow.

“You know what I meant!” Essek retorts getting closer to you, his frustrations also clear.

“Oh, I know what you meant but let’s no longer pretend you’re the only one you care about suffering from the consequences of your actions. Can you for just a moment just open your eyes and realise you have so many people around you who love you and would go to the ends of the earth for you. Can you just understand that when someone hurts you and threatens your livelihood, your life, that maybe that doesn’t sit well with me?” Unclenching your fists embers drift to the floor leaving more holes in the carpet.

“Why do you have to be so stupid!” Scorching heat radiates in the hallway as a brief rush of flame passes through the space like burning oil. Essek is quick enough to float and avoid the fire, but you watch it spread.

Essek’s face softens as he quickly puts the fire out. He goes to place his hand on your arm but feeling the heat of your skin before even making contact, he’s forced to refrain and his hand falls back to the side. He’s never seen you quite so driven by hatred and anger. It scares him in a way. He’s not afraid of you. He trusts you. But he is afraid that letting you go off on your own so driven by those negative emotions, allowing them to fester and grow, will not do anyone good, least of all you. He worries for your wellbeing, just like you have for his plenty of times before.

“I know I may have a hard time coming to terms with others’ affections towards me and may have made some stupid decisions but I beg of you, please, do not walk into a lions’ den unprepared carrying bait around your neck.” While the fury still burns in your eyes and your skin is still much hotter to the touch than it should be Essek is able to grasp your hand without burning himself.

“I must ask you to refrain from brutally murdering the Martinet… for now. His time will come, just as those who are loyal to him. Just not yet.” Essek strokes your cheek as your eyes soften, expression saddening.

“They hurt you still.” The words come out almost like a cry of frustration and sadness. Whether that be because of what had happened to Essek or from losing control like that you’re not one hundred percent sure but you guess the latter.

“They did, and I assume they will be a thorn in my side just a bit longer but, if that means I’ll have you at my side to eventually deal with them, I feel more comfortable for it, no matter how much I would love to see you set their pretentious ship ablaze, in retaliation, you yourself said, calculated moves are a necessity, especially now.” Essek had already made his peace with this, he only hopes you would see the same. Wrapping your arms around him hiding your face in his chest you compose yourself in a silent thank you as he returns your embrace, holding you until you pull back enough to see his face.

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper looking at the scorch marks all over. “I didn’t mean to… I never-”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Everyone breaks at some point. You’ve been there for me plenty of times. I’m glad I get to return the favour, regardless of the circumstances.” Essek looks around already mentally making a list of what to get replaced and what to get repaired.

“You can be quite intimidating in your fury.” He smiles at you and you raise an eyebrow.

“I guess…” You feel regretful for the damages done.

“I might have use for that in the future if you’d be willing.” You give Essek a look of disapproval.

“What? I would love to see you do this, in some other places with less than friendly people, who you’ve already deemed deserving of your wrath.” Essek laughs.

“So I can repay you for this? I can do that. But only in the most dire situations.” You poke an accusing finger at his chest laughing with him. You give him quick kiss.

“At least it was not my library, or the study.” Essek sighs as you gawk and swat his arm jokingly.

“Rude! But yes. Because I can see you being the one in a fiery rage should anyone ever damage your precious books.”