#if the uncanny valley talking babies weren’t enough

[foolishlyzephyrus]

the psychic damage incurred from hearing the word “doggo” in doctor who is immeasurable

[asryakino]

my best friend and I were talking about the uncanny valley. I remarked that I didn’t understand the VICERAL reaction some people have to it, like violent, hatred of it. To the point of their immediate reaction is to try to kill the ‘not quite human’ thing...

we made a few jokes about how that meant that there was something that LOOKED almost human enough to be recognized as human, but inhuman enough to trigger this instinctive flight-fight reaction on an entirely instinctive basis

she reminded me that I had told her before it was probably related to an instinctive dislike for inhuman things that look ALMOST human but are rooted in being ‘unsafe’ and I  said no, I get that... but I don’t get the VIOLENT reaction...

like... I don’t have that. I see something that triggers the ‘oh that isn’t quite human, it looks human, but it’s not entirely right’ and I go ‘okay, cool... approach with caution and see if friend.’

her immediate,k nee-jerk response was “yeah but you aren’t entirely human. I’m pretty sure you’re half whatever it is we’re afraid of’

I’ve been thinking about that for a while...

mainly because I’m austic... she’s not... I’ve OFTEN been accused of being inhuman and not right it doesn’t bother me because I literally feel a disconnect with humanity as a whole but put me in a room with other spectrum people and we’re all great

I just learned that when an austic baby cries, it’s at a higher pitch and slightly higher frequency - exactly enough that people hearing the cry don’t recognize it as a human baby, it registers as SOMETHING ELSE and triggers an immediate flight/fight reaction...

mothers of austic babies have to actively learn to lower their heart rate and stress response in order to force the brain to begin the chemical release of ‘take care of the baby’ and if they don’t, it just stresses them out more.

they said they did a study of neurodivergent mothers and found the same thing, they had to learn to identify the baby cries as a baby and not something else

then I remembered the ‘changling’ myth and how people would claim their baby wasn’t human, and they weren’t right, and that they’d been switched out...

by the time the brain develops enough to be austic... is about the same time that someone would think their baby wasn’t human...

most of the stories involve the mother -learning- to love the inhuman baby, but that they were forever not -right- and just a little inhuman...

a lot of them end with the mother being resentful, hating, and fearful of their own baby for being inhuman....

“You’re half what we’re afraid of” stories of fae make a lot more sense...

I’m kinda glad for it...

I don’t mind being half what makes people instinctively afraid...

[will-you-be-my-savior]

asks for 08/27/18

sorry about Friday.

anonymous asked:

Uh hey, been kind of busy here but wanted to check in on everyone. How are you all doing lately? - MWT

Tord: amazing!

Matt: yeah! also, hi mayhem!

Tom: *chuckles* those two are just riding high cause the red army finally took Poland… well that’s why tord is happy i don’t know about matt.

Matt: i’m happy cause tord is happy!

(i only respond to asks on weekdays, mod angel and mod demon respond on weekdays and Saturday. no one really responds on Sunday. -mod x)

anonymous asked:

Congrats on taking Poland. -MWT

Tord: finally! *spinning in his chair*

Matt: *happy bat noises*

Tom: thank you.

anonymous asked:

So you guys are just celebrating for now? Or did the 'Finally took over Poland' party happen already? - MWT

Tom: the “party” was low key and stupidly formal. this one is just drawing it out as long as he can.

Tord: can you really blame me?! it took almost a month! and we finally did it!

Tom: *sigh* so how have things been for you mayhem?

anonymous asked:

Well, I can understand why he wants to draw out the party. He worked long and hard on taking over that place. As for me, I've mostly been updating my research and took on a small case involving a mind reader that was scamming people into thinking she could predict the future for large amounts of money. She didn't go too far with me and just quickly apologized and ran when I tried to call her out. Kept scratching at her arms and had a weird look in her eye too. - MWT

Tom: … you ran into a mind reader… *holding back laughter*

Matt: so your case went well then! good!

Tord: *not even trying to hide his laughter at the mind reader’s misfortune*

(these boys are assholes for laughing at someone’s pain and suffering… but the mind reader probably deserved it)

anonymous asked:

It was an easy case, though I don't get why she acted so off after I confronted her. Maybe she was just sick? Also don't get why that's so funny to you two. - MWT

Tom: *still trying to keep himself from laughing* that is probably for the best.

Matt: *makes an “i don’t know” noise*

Tord: *laughing harder*

anonymous asked:

So what country's next on your list to take over? -MWT

Tord: we’re thinking either Germany or Ukraine.

Tom: he can’t decide which people would care less about.

Tord: we don’t want any major powers after us.

spooncryptid asked:

Hewwo!! How have you boys been??

Tord: good!

spooncryptid asked:

That’s good!! I heard you got Poland?

Tom: yes we did.

Tord: *celebratory shout*

spooncryptid asked:

//jumps at the shout// oh! Well That’s great! I told ya you’d get em!!

Tord: i guess you did didn’t you? well thanks.

anonymous asked:

Ukraine and Germany might both get a lot of attention. If Russia's annexed any part of Ukraine in your world at least. And Germany is kind of in the UN isn't it? And a lot of people are aware of it. Maybe go for the smaller ones that aren't as well known? - MWT

Tord: of course, we would use much more subtle methods for either of them.

Tom: we could go for Denmark…

Tord: … maybe…

spooncryptid asked:

Don’t mention it, so is anything going on today other than celebrating??

Tom: not really. today is mostly a recoup day.

Matt: any soldiers that don’t need to stay in Poland are being recalled to spend time with their families an relax.

anonymous asked:

Definitely, don't want to make it obvious until you're able to handle the rest of the world coming after you. Now I'm really curious about what other beings are in your army? - MWT

Tom: i don’t pry.

Matt: i don’t think about it.

Tord: i don’t know and don’t particularly care. if they want me to know then i won��t bother with it.

anonymous asked:

That makes sense. Let them come to you when they feel comfortable. Took years for my roommates to admit two of them weren't even human and the third practiced magic. - MWT

Tord: what my soldiers are or are not is none of my business.

Tom: most of the army doesn’t know supernatural creatures even exist.

Matt: they think we were science experiments!

spooncryptid asked:

That sounds nice!! Are you guys doing anything to celebrate?

Tord: nah. we already had that boring dinner with the generals.

Matt: we’re just gonna relax and spend time together.

anonymous asked:

that sounds fun! how about celebratory cake (★^O^★)-shy anon

Matt: We don’t really plan on doing anything, but cake sounds great!!!

anonymous asked:

Huh, well I guess it would be hard to know who would react well and who would react badly to the existence of other beings. My roommates at least know I'm more interested in learning about other beings through actually asking and observing, with permission of course. I mean, I've befriended a Selkie because I punched out some drunk jerk trying to steal the poor girl's seal skin. You don't know who's gonna take advantage of an innocent being like that. - MWT

Tom: selkie are generally rather timid! how’d you manage to get her to stay after you gave it back?

anonymous asked:

I think she was too busy processing that a human actually willingly helped her. And I might have started on about how some idiots just don't respect others and how wrong it is to steal a selkie's skin. And how it should be the selkie's choice if someone actually does get to have their skin, even if that answer will always be no. Cussing out the guy in Norwegian might have helped too. She was actually from Norway and was happy to meet someone that spoke the language too. - MWT

Tom: *chuckling* yeah that would do it.

Matt: was she pretty?

Tord: … have we met a selkie?

Tom: even if we had it would have been none of our business.

anonymous asked:

She was pretty, but not really my type. We're still friends, and chat whenever's she in town. I think she finds it funny I mostly ask her about the other beings she's met and not her own species. - MWT

Matt: … wouldn’t it be rude to only talk about her species when you hang out?

Tom: … well, you have excellent manners.

anonymous asked:

I honestly never asked her questions about her species. Though she did mention that Selkies and Leviathans tend to get along when in the same areas. So that was pretty cool. Apparently, Leviathans help catch them their preferred prey in exchange for chasing shrimp out into the open and getting hard to reach food for them. - MWT

Tom: …

Matt: …

Tord: … that also explains a bit…

anonymous asked:

so... how about the cake?! ٩( 'ω' )و-shy anon

Matt: CAKE!

Tom: … alright.

anonymous asked:

red velvet? vanilla? coconut is good too! what kind is your favourite (о´∀`о)-shy anon

Tom: were not really picky.

Matt: cake is cake.

Tord: am i the only one with any preference? i say chocolate!

anonymous asked:

Explains what? Why she likes me? I guess someone would appreciate a researcher not constantly bugging you about your own species. - MWT

Tom: *sigh*

Matt: that too.

Tord: … it probably isn’t the same in your universe anyway.

anonymous asked:

What isn't the same? Something wrong other me? - MWT

Tord: … well being around certain supernatural beings, at least in this universe, sometimes allows some unusual traits to “rub off on” the mundane… like how i’m way more durable them any human should be.

anonymous asked:

That does sound like a difference between our world. I'm pretty sure most of why I'm still alive is just pure luck honestly. I still get hurt easily like any other human, even though I'm pretty sure the Tom here is extremely durable. Same with another of my roommates. Never rubbed off on me. - MWT

Tord: i said certain traits. your tom isn’t the same as my tom, and doesn’t have the exact same traits to transfer, but perhaps that uncanny valley affect comes from all the interaction with the supernatural you have.

anonymous asked:

I never really started encountering the supernatural until College honestly, I've had it since I was in primary school though. But I don't think I've picked up any traits other than an unusual amount of luck, but the Matt here might have cast some kind of spell to boost mine so I don't get myself killed. - MWT

Tord: what if it happened when you were a baby? the transitive traits never really go away, they don’t even really fade. how do you really know?

anonymous asked:

True. I was adopted so there's a chance something happened before then that caused that. If traits can rub off on people here. - MWT

Tord: right! if it is the same.

anonymous asked:

what do you mean “rub off”? could you shapeshift if you stuck around tom long enough? (O_O)-shy anon

Tord: of course not! specific traits! not everything under the sun!

Tom: but it would be funny to watch if he did just randomly shape shift into some thing. i can just imagine the panic.

anonymous asked:

Looks like it’s time for world war 3!

Tord: i’d hope not!

anon-hive-mind asked:

with the attention you seem to be... “attracting” we’d expect there to be another world war soon

Tom: what attention? no one even knows there’s a war unless they are a part of it!

Tord: the general populous thinks the red army was defeated a long time ago.

anonymous asked:

what kind of “specific traits”? (*´꒳`*)-shy anon

Tom: for creatures like me it’s generally things like durability, strength, or sensory abilities.

anon-hive-mind asked:

well, for starters, you can’t takover a country without people knowing about it! unless of course... the battle is upon /different fronts/

Tord: of course you can! you just need to make it look like you didn’t win and change literally nothing in the government!

Tom: the change comes later when the media has died down.

anonymous asked:

oh! that sounds cool! b...but i already have sensory issues (＞人＜;) (should i stay away?) -shy anon

Tom: you don’t really need to worry about it. you’d need uninterrupted proximity of at least a few days.

anonymous asked:

Still, it would be fascinating if certain traits in beings could rub off on others. The durability could actually help a lot of anyone who might be more fragile than others even. Whether or not they're human. Unless traits only pass to humans. - MWT

Tord: unfortunately it is only to the mundane. meaning only humans and animals.

anonymous asked:

Well, that sucks and seems a little unfair. -MWT

Tom: in this universe the mundane are kinda like blank slates where the supernatural are full. the mundane can be etched and written on to the moon and back but the supernatural don’t have any room left.

anonymous asked:

I guess that makes sense. Kind of wonder what kind of traits the more unusual beings could pass on to human. - MWT

Tom: the most extreme trait I’ve ever seen transferred would be electricity resistance. that guy got hit with lightning seven times in one night and didn’t even flinch.

anonymous asked:

That is awesome, kind of jealous of that guy. - MWT

Tom: don’t be. he can’t leave his house any more for fear of being mobbed by people who want to interview him.

anonymous asked:

Okay, that part sucks, but not having to worry about being struck by lighting is still something to be jealous of. - MWT

Tord: i’m glad i don’t have to worry about that either. *gestures to his robotic arm* this thing acts as a battery that absorbs any electric current i may intercept.

anonymous asked:

Smart idea for that arm. Maybe I should build something similar for myself. - MWT

Tord: … you want to cut off your own arm?!

Tom: DON’T!!

Matt: *distressed squeaking*

anonymous asked:

I didn't mean a robot arm! I mean like something I could wear. - MWT

Tord: oh thank god.

Tom: *rapid breathing*

Matt: *sigh*

anonymous asked:

What made you think I wanted to cut off my arm? I said something like, not exactly that. I like having two arms and two of my roommates would beat me to a bloody pulp if I did take off my arm. - MWT

Tord: we weren’t the smartest teenagers…

Matt: he cut off this own ear when we were fourteen.

Tord: yes and i am ashamed to this day. thank you so much for bringing it up…

Tom: to be fair i did reattach it for you.

anonymous asked:

Other kids hurt me enough that I never tried stuff like that. And WHY did you even think cutting off your ear was a good idea? - MWT

Tord: …

Tom: he wanted t- *tord is covering his mouth*

Matt: to replace it with a robot ear.

Tord: *groan*

Tom: *removes tord’s hands* he wanted to see if his sensory software would work. he knew i could put the ear back.

anonymous asked:

That was kind of a dumb reason. The organs you hear with are further in the skull, removing the ear itself won't get rid of hearing on that side of the head. - MWT

Tord: i was better at mechanics then i was anatomy okay!

Tom: he’d also been awake for six days perfecting the code.

anonymous asked:

Staying days at a time does not help with getting work done. I at least try to sleep a couple hours at night or if I'm doing an all-night investigation, I'll sleep a few hours during the day. And that's on top of inventing to earn a living. -MWT

Tord: i was a stupid teenager! LET IT GO ALREADY!

Tom: …

Matt: … does someone need a nap?

Tord: no. i’m calm now. i am not a child matt…

anonymous asked:

Well I guess spending nights coding is better than all the fights I got in back when I was a teen. - MWT

Tom: … were you ever really the instigator of those?

anonymous asked:

Sometimes. Though honestly, it was mostly me lashing out at even a bit of namecalling or defending myself. - MWT

Tom: …

Tord: kids can be assholes.

Matt: they were wrong. no matter what they said about you, they were wrong.

anonymous asked:

I know they're wrong, my roommates like to remind when what a panic attack happens. Bullying can still lead to some nasty mental scars though. -MWT

Tom: …

Tord: …

Matt: *upset bat noises*

anonymous asked:

Don't worry, with my roommates around I've been kind of getting over all that. They're there to remind me I'm human and not whatever those brats thought I was. - MWT

Tom: good…

anonymous asked:

Still won't ever go to a class reunion though, else I might try to fist fight all my old bullies. - MWT

they are trying really hard not to encourage such behavior… but they really want to!

anonymous asked:

Still, got a better life now than back then. Roommates that don't think I'm possessed because of bullies, I somehow befriended the leader of a cult/hivemind that collects information, and I'm doing two things I love. Pretty sure none of those brats from school are in careers they enjoy. - MWT

Tom: … you know how you have that uncanny valley thing going on for everyone but me? yeah, every time you mention this information guy i get that feeling… you sure you can trust him?

anonymous asked:

3301's a good guy, I give him copy of my notes for the book I've got, and his group helps out with finding out what's behind a crime. They're trying to protect nonhumans from being discovered too. - MWT

Tom: doesn’t have to be a bad guy… just be careful around him okay… if he has info in the creatures who’s to say he doesn’t have info on you.

anonymous asked:

He's got the same info as me. We've all been trying to solve this mystery in-case another case like mine comes up. - MWT

Tom: … my best friend betrayed me… he broke me down until i was nothing, and he did so with information i thought i could trust him with… i don’t want the same things to happen to you…

Matt: *distressed bat noises*

anonymous asked:

I can understand your worry, but don't worry, I never gave him personal information. Just what you'd know if you had a coworker you kind of get along with. - MWT

Tom: …

Matt: …

Tord: i don’t think they’re gonna stop worrying unless they meet him.

anonymous asked:

I could ask him to talk with you the next time I meet up with him. - MWT

Tord: you could try.

anonymous asked:

Though a warning, he's some kind of Cicada creature that's lived for thousands of years. He does hide under a cloak though. - MWT

Tom: oh!

anonymous asked:

He's kind of creepy looking but he's got a good heart. Always does his best to help out the younger being in the town. - MWT

Tom: oh…

Tord: your friend has just won his favor.

Matt: does he know anything about hybrids?

anonymous asked:

I'll have to ask him about Hybrids the next time I see him. Only hybrid I know is the cambion I live with. - MWT

Matt: good, maybe certain hybrids have a name!

Tom: knowing what to call myself would be nice…

anonymous asked:

Did any of you go through an emo phase? And if so, do the others tease you about it still?

Tord: … you’re not gonna believe this… matt.

Tom: we don’t mock him about it cause he still had better fashion sense then either of us.

spooncryptid asked:

I’m always happy to share my girls!

thank you spoon. it was not too long by the way.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Dyou wanna know a random fact about Eva I didn’t include? (Cuz it’s noncanon and somewhat meta)

… i’m intrigued…

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

She’s the Oc that I was thinking turned me(??) into a cat gremlin

… she’s dead meat…

-Mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Aww :3c glad to see you care about me

oh sweetheart it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with matty! tord too but mostly matt.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Woa, it’s so nice to have friends that’ll commit murder for me <3

murder is the least they will do…

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm, I’m honestly scared to ask

tord is a military leader and tom is the child of a wrath demon… do you really even need to?

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

True... it’s scary imagining that that easily could’ve happened to me though

tom and tord have immeasurable amounts of patience.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Mm, so I just would’ve ended up dead

if i hadn’t warned you off… or if you had sent one more ask before spilling the whole unwilling transformation thing yes.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Thank goodness god x is on my side

god x? a little too much there, tone it down a bit okay.

-MOD x (not god)

spooncryptid asked:

I mean... ok

… i made the story yes but once the characters were set i don’t control their actions so to speak… it’s hard to explain. tord will be tord whether i want him to be or not.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

I suppose

i’m just the middle man at this point…

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

So you’re demigod x?

… oracle x… maybe.

-mod x

spooncryptid asked:

Ooo, mystical

… you’re not gonna let this go are you?

-mod x

anonymous asked:

A war I bound to happen wether you want it to or not. What can you expect when trying to take over the fucking world?

Tord: well duh! we’re just trying to put it off as long as we can.

anonymous asked:

I’m sure there are much stronger forces than some militia in Norway. I’d be careful if I were you...

Tord: you act as if i don’t know that.

anonymous asked:

Just saying. Watch your back, Red leader.

… this is my world anon… i don’t tolerate bullies. if you’ve read the blog you should know these boys are paranoid as it is. if you wanna go down this road you better do it off anon or with a signature, or these questions won’t be seen. if you’re brave enough to make these claims then you’re brave enough to use a name.

-mod x

anonymous asked:

Okay, jeez. Just trying to have a bit of fun. I’ll be on my way then, enjoy your world.

… you don’t have to go. the boys are messed up and i don’t enjoy torturing them. an anonymous voice in the distance saying they need to worry would be too far but if they had a single source it would be… tolerable. you can keep going, just make sure they can connect the words to an individual or you’re gonna actually break them. (like full on mentally break them… no one wants to see that.)

-mod x

endragoneel asked:

today has been ... a long day! so, how’re y’all doing?

Tord: tired.

Tom: same.

Matt: fluffy.

(if you were wondering about me too… okay -mod x)

anonymous asked:

Ha, nah. I’d rather just leave. A perfect world, your world, just seems a bit boring.

… you think my world is perfect?! HA! you just happened to hit one of the very few buttons that would interfere with the plot. you can’t break them… yet. but that doesn’t make them perfect.

endragoneel asked:

(glad you’re doing ok <3) need some rest boys? oh man that’s a mood... but i have homework... i read somewhere about a cake! y’all ever get to that? maybe you can make it together!

Matt: no… shy anon disappeared…

Tord: unfortunately we aren’t the kind of tired you can really rest with.

Tom: maybe another time.

endragoneel asked:

i didn’t mean anything like that!!! i’m just tired too aa - but anyway, congrats on taking poland!

Tord: *attempted cheer*

Tom: that was pathetic…

Tord: oh bite me.

Matt: *bites him*

endragoneel asked:

maybe this was a bad time to come haha— MATT DONT DO THAT!!

Tord: he’s fine, not even using teeth.

Tom: sometimes sucking makes him feel better. he really wanted that cake.

endragoneel asked:

go make the cake anyway! i’m sure it’ll be fine if you save some for shy anon : D

Tord: noooo, i don’t wanna.

Tom: oh stop whining, i’ll do it.

Tord and Matt: wooo.

endragoneel asked:

yay! cake it is~

Matt: cake!

endragoneel asked:

what kind are you making?

Tom: tord said chocolate so… that.

anonymous asked:

Coconut.

??? this confuses me so much.

-mod x

endragoneel asked:

nice~ got a special ingredient?

Tom: … not really, it’s just cake.

endragoneel asked:

eh my mum does when she makes cake! it’s the best~ matt seems excited!

Tom: my mom didn’t make food… she tried to make me eat the souls of the damned…

endragoneel asked:

... well then,

Tom: what do you expect from a wrath demon?

endragoneel asked:

i never... thought of it? although i have wondered what souls taste like...

Tom: it can very. usually depends on the color.

endragoneel asked:

how could you tell colour? could you tell mine? !!O:

Tom: color is representative of sin… are you sure you want to know?

endragoneel asked:

maybe not... but i’m very intrigued actaully... more yes than no? or maybe we should focus on the cake insteadb

Tom: … yellow.

endragoneel asked:

... what sin?

Tom: you won’t understand… gluttony.

endragoneel asked:

aye ... i can actually see it strangely... i’ve over stepped my boundaries here i think...

Tom: it’s fine. not many people have the soul-sight and even fewer know what each color means. i don’t blame you for being curious.

endragoneel asked:

to be fair, i have played undertale one too many times to be curious of the actual definition of a ‘soul’—

Tom: a soul is the core parts of a being from which all other parts grow. without a soul the being is nothing more then an empty shell.

anonymous asked:

YAY! you and matt are making cake (*´꒳`*) -shy anon

Tom: just me thank you.

(tom is mad you abandoned them earlier after you mentioned cake)

anonymous asked:

lmao i think it’s about time i get serious when i come here. what exactly is a wrath demon?

Tom: a demon… that consumes wrath… kinda self explanatory…

anonymous asked:

oh no... i didn’t mean to abandon you! (*´-`) will you accept an apology? -shy anon, i bow to say sorry

Tom: … fine. just don’t do it again.

anonymous asked:

i can decorate the cake for you! ( ´∀｀)-shy anon

Tom: go for it, less work for me.

anonymous asked:

what should it look like? (⌒▽⌒)☆-shy anon

Tom: i don’t care. it’s just gonna get eaten anyway. just do something “pretty” so matt’s happy.

anonymous asked:

would a poland flag be festive? (*^ω^*)-shy anon, who needs to go to bed >~<

Tom: huh, it’d make tord happy.

anonymous asked:

lmao what demon are you then?

Tom: i’m not a demon.

(it is literally 2 in the morning here… i’ll answer more tomorrow -mod x)

[ivegotsomethingtosay]

Captain Underpants (movie review)

It might have taken twenty years, but Dav Pilkey’s pre-shrunk crusader has finally found his way to the big screen in Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, which, as evidenced by the title, hopes to be the first in a franchise based off of Pilkey’s dozens of popular (and controversial) children’s novels.

And honestly? I’d say go for it. These were some of my favorite books as a kid—some of the first I ever read in fact—and I owe a lot of my aspirations as a writer and creator to George and Harold. In the original story, George and Harold are two mischievous and inseparable pranksters at a public elementary school, who spend their weekends writing comic books in their tree house, and spend their weeks being tormented by their monster of a principal, Mr. Krupp. But things take a turn for the weird when the boys stumble across a cracker-jack hippo-ring, and hypnotize Krupp into thinking he’s a superhero from one of their comics: Captain Underpants.

The movie follows to books to a tee (as far as I can remember; I haven’t actually picked one up in over a decade) and the result works as both a celebration of Pilkey’s uniquely charming breed of potty humor, and a clever dissection of the more mature themes the series has been flirting with sense day one. In other words, this is the kind of movie parents, particularly those who grew up with the series themselves, won’t dread sitting through, and the kind of movie their kids will like just as much. It’s not The Lego Movie or Toy Story when it comes to cross-generational appeal, but it’s certainly better at engaging both an adult and child audience than most movies from Dreamworks Animation tend to be.

Oh yeah, and let’s talk about Dreamworks Animation for a second. Was anyone else tired of seeing that creepy looking baby on all The Boss Baby posters, or trying to ignore all the uncanny valley humans in the Shrek franchise? If so, than you’re going to love this movie. There’s no attempt in the character designs to make people look “real,” which means the animation always feels dynamic and directed towards the storytelling. The jokes land, the characters are well defined. Ironically, Captain Underpants proves to Dreamworks, and the industry as a whole, that the less you try and make humans look like “humans,” the more human they feel.

Granted, realism isn’t really the name of the game here. Writer Nick Stoller and David Soren are keen on drawing attention to the format of the storytelling. Sometimes, this takes the form of physically realized fantasy sequences (like an entire scene with sock puppets, which might be the funniest things I’ve seen in a theater all year), or comical references to the physicality of Pilkey’s actual books (like an action scene done entirely in “Flip-o-Rama.”) This type of meta-storytelling doesn’t add too much to the film thematically, but it does encourage the viewer not to take things too seriously, which helps when your villain is named “Professor Poopy-Pants.”

In fact, “not taking things too seriously” ends up being not just a criteria for watching Captain Underpants, but the key to unlocking what makes him, and the entire movie, so special. You see, the books weren’t funny because of all the potty humor. Potty humor on its own is just another form of shock, one that can be offensive or alienating depending on the person. What made the books funny were the ways they grasped what it was like to be in elementary school, how every class felt like it stretched on for decades, how being apart from your best friend meant certain death. And yes, how every joke you and your friends made seemed to revolved around farts, underwear, and toilets.

Captain Underpants the movie breaks down the defenses of even the most hardened viewer by putting them in this mind space. It reminds us of a time when these kind of jokes were funny, where we didn’t take things so seriously because we didn’t need to. It reminds us how important laughter can be as an element of growing up, all while making us laugh ourselves.

It’s a noble task for a film aimed at young audiences, and a difficult one at that. I wouldn’t say it succeeds completely; the pacing is too frenetic at times, and the script could have used some of the thematic focus that has come to define Disney and Pixar films over the last two decades, but there’s enough of good stuff here to more than recommend Captain Underpants, and pray that Dreamworks hops on the franchise train. He’s just the kind of superhero Hollywood needs right now, and considering that the this first one only cost $35 million to make, we might be seeing him duke it out with the Wicket Weggie Woman or the Bionic Booger Boy a few years down the road. Fingers crossed.

OVERALL RATING: 8 / 10 SEE IT OR SKIP IT: See it. It’s Tra-La-La-awesome.  

[ellanainthetardis]

And on we go! I hope you will like this chapter! Let me know!

[FF] or [AO3]

5. Eight Weeks

Haymitch watched from his position on the bed as Effie completed her nightly ritual of creams and hair brushing. She looked aloof again, distracted. It had been much of the same since she had been told she was expecting. He had lost count of the number of times he had caught her staring in the distance or at a wall.

Her routine usually ended with brushing her hair so he was a little thrown when she shed her dressing gown and her nightgown. She was wearing a bra underneath, which was odd since they were about to go to sleep. At first he thought she was making a pass at him but the bra was plain and not her usual kind of lingerie. She winced when she took it off and it was done without a single glance for him. To puzzle him some more, she grabbed some lotion and started rubbing it on her chest.

They hadn’t had sex since they had been told Effie was pregnant and the sight of her touching herself in an innocent – but still very much sexy – fashion was enough to make him half-hard.

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” he asked, his mouth parched.

She shot him a look over her shoulder, blinking fast as if she had completely forgotten he was even there. Way too boost a man’s ego.

“My breasts hurt.” she explained.

He stared at her chest for longer than was probably appropriate and licked his lips. “They’re bigger.”

“Which is why I am applying some lotion. I do not want any stretch marks.” she replied as if it was obvious.

He crawled to the foot on the bed on all fours, not even caring he must have looked ridiculous. “I can help with that.”

She hesitated for a second but she eventually handed him the lotion bottle and lied down on the bed with a small grin. “Be careful, though. They are painful.”

It turned out quickly they weren’t just painful but sensitive as well. He was careful at first, almost wary, but she sighed in contentment when he gently rubbed the thick lotion on her skin and he let himself explore. It was almost uncanny how familiar and unfamiliar it was at the same time. Her breasts were hard when they were usually soft, the skin indeed felt stretched tight. They were a cup or two bigger, he thought, they barely fit in his hands anymore.

September was slowly dying into October and the temperature was steadily decreasing, it wasn’t cold in the room but it wasn’t warm either. He couldn’t tell if her nipples were hard because she was enjoying this or because she was cold. He experimentally brushed his thumb against an erected peak and she whimpered.

“Good or bad?” he asked.

“Good.” she breathed out, reaching out to him. She tugged on his shirt and he complied by taking it off and tossing it in the vague direction of his pillow. Her hand immediately ran on his chest but she didn’t try to sit up, probably not to jostle her aching breasts. He replaced his thumb with his mouth and, this time, the moan was loud and unequivocal.

He smirked against her skin.

The cream tasted like coconut and he took his sweet time working her up, going from one breast to the other, licking and stroking but not sucking or nipping like he usually would have, mindful of her state. After a while, she tugged on his hair a little, her voice almost a growl. “I want you.”

The words shot straight to his groin and he placed a lingering kiss in the valley between her breasts.

“How do we…” he asked and then cringed a little, slightly embarrassed. “Can I… Is it okay to…” He made a vague gesture and felt himself grow red in the face. He preferred to rest his forehead on her stomach, thinking he shouldn’t have skipped that particular chapter in the books he had been reading after all. It had seemed stupid at the time because they certainly didn’t need advices in that department. “Did you talk about it with Larcher or…”

“You should write a book on how to kill a mood in two seconds flat.” she retorted rather harshly.

“Excuse me for not wanting to hurt you.” he snapped, looking up at her with annoyance.

“Is it me you do not wish to hurt or the situation?” she sneered and pushed him off her to sit up, pressing her arm against her chest – to support it, he figured. She immediately leaned in to grab the bra discarded on the dressing table’s stool and slipped it on.

“Both.” he admitted, not seeing why it was a problem. She was struggling with the clasp so he did it for her but that only warranted him another glare over her shoulder and he lifted his hands defensively. “Who’s killing the mood now, Princess? Do you have to be a bitch because I asked a fucking question?” The blatant hostility on her face slowly morphed into guilt and then sorrow. Her eyes were suspiciously shiny and Haymitch winced. He hated those mood swings. “It’s okay. Sweetheart, it’s okay, don’t…”

Too late.

The first tears rolled down her cheeks and she turned her head away from him, pressing her hands against her eyes. “I apologize. I…”

“It’s okay.” he repeated, wrapping his arms around her trembling frame, shifting so they were sitting with her back to his chest, and his legs on either side of hers. He dropped a kiss against her nape. “I miss you.” The admission wasn’t really dangerous anymore. They were more or less officially a couple – they lived together, had been living together for around a year, they didn’t need to proclaim it publicly for everyone to know what it meant – he was allowed to miss being intimate with her, wasn’t he?

“I miss you too.” she sighed, turning her head to nuzzle his neck with her nose. “I am sorry, I overreacted. I am just… I am frustrated and my body feels strange.” She cleared her throat. “I don’t think we should… I didn’t ask Doctor Larcher so…”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t do something, right?” he asked, letting his hand trail down her side to the waistband of her panties. “I can still make you feel good…”

She bit down on her bottom lip and looked up at him. “I don’t know. I want to but…”

“I could check the books.” he offered.

She chuckled. “Now you officially killed the mood.”

He rolled his eyes but relented, pressing a kiss against the side of her head. “Fine. Bed, then.”

They snuggled into bed and she switched the lamp off. The bedroom wasn’t dark though, they were both too wary of darkness to be comfortable in a pitch black room. They always left the curtains open so moonlight would trickle through.

He was on his back and she rested her head on his shoulder like she often did, her leg hooked over his. He ran his fingers through her hair a few times, staring at the ceiling and trying to think of anything else but his half-erection and the thigh that was a little too close to this part of him.

“Haymitch?” she whispered.

“Yeah?” he answered, letting his head roll so his cheek would be pressed against her hair.

“How big is it now?” she asked, almost uncertainly.

She asked questions sometimes. She wouldn’t read the books he had bought, she wouldn’t even touch them. She still avoided talking about the whole thing and disliked it when he or the kid made a comment about her pregnancy. He had hoped she would eventually grow more comfortable with it but everything felt off balance. He was the one who read book upon book and had practically become a pregnancy expert, he was the one who kept telling her it would be okay.

They had exchanged roles and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

“Size of a raspberry, give or take.” he answered cautiously. “He’s going to become a fetus in a week or so.”

Her fingers clenched a little where they were spread on his stomach.

“I made the ultrasound appointment this morning.” she said. “It’s in two weeks. You will come with me, yes?”

“Sure.” he answered. “You saw Larcher today? It’s not his usual day, right?”

He frowned. He had been in town most of the day trying to help Peeta figuring out if it was better to use the ruins of the old bakery or to completely knock everything down to rebuilt. The boy was very invested in this project and Haymitch was happy to help but now he wondered what he had missed.

Larcher didn’t make a habit of doing house calls – he only went to the elderly people or those too sick to visit the hospital – but he had made an exception for Effie because being in the clinic even for an hour stressed her out too much, which was not good for the baby.

It was a long time before she answered his question and when she talked it was in a flat voice. “I lost blood again.”

His whole body grew rigid. “What?”

“It was just speckles. A drop or two at most.” she said quickly. “Doctor Larcher said it wasn’t really concerning but that I should rest. I lied down all afternoon.”

She sounded almost defensive.

It took several seconds for his heartbeat to decrease to a normal rhythm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know.” she confessed. “I thought maybe… Maybe it was over. Maybe we were done waiting. But… But it is still here.”

She sounded almost puzzled by that fact and he sighed, fighting off his instinctive urge to get angry at being kept in the dark.

He rubbed his hand against his face, finally facing what he had been trying to ignore for three weeks.

“Effie…” he started, swallowing to make the lump in his throat disappear. “Do you want an abortion?”

She lifted her head to look at him, looking confused. “Did you change your mind? Don’t you want to try anymore?”

He licked his lips slowly, brushing her hair away from her face with shaking fingers. “I think we both know you agreed to try just for me, sweetheart. You’re unhappy. And it’s killing me.”

“No.” she protested at once, with a frown. “I… You were right. Abortion or miscarriage, it will be the same. I just…” She shook her head. “And everyone knows now… How would we…”

“Never mind everyone.” he scowled. “What do you want? What will make you happy?”

She studied him for several seconds with a spooked expression, as if she wasn’t even sure what he was talking about. She could be very selfish but, paradoxically, she spent her time trying to please her loved ones.

“I do not want to lose the baby.” she finally whispered. It was the first time she ever referred to it like that and Haymitch relaxed slightly. “But I am scared I will. I am so, so scared, Haymitch… And I keep waiting for it to happen and…” She buried her face in his neck and he wrapped his arms around her, not liking one bit the way she was trembling. “I am so sorry. I am a mess, a complete mess…”

“No more than me or the kids…” he pointed out, pressing a kiss on her head. “Look, sweetheart… I get it’s easy for me to say but maybe you should stop waiting. Just… Live your life. One day at a time. Baby steps, yeah?” He rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. “No pun intended.”

She clung to him. “I am not sure I know how to do that. I am terrified, Haymitch.”

“I know, Princess…” he sighed. “But I don’t know how to help… If the pregnancy’s not the problem, if you don’t want an abortion, then… I don’t know how to help.”

He felt useless. He hated that. It brought him back to days spent at Katniss’ bedside after the bombs had left her burned within an inch of her life, to weeks spent watching a high-jacked Peeta behind a glass wall, to the many hours spent soothing Effie’s panic attacks after her rescue… He hated feeling useless.

“I am a mess.” she repeated. “I do not even know… I did not think this could happen… And now that it is here, I… I think I am afraid of wanting it. I think…” She let her sentence trail off. “I do not understand how you accepted the idea so readily. Is it because you are still thinking about giving it up for adoption? Is it because it is simply a transition period to you? Something that will go away in a few months?”

“There’s nothing simple about this.” he scoffed, drawing out a long sigh. “We still haven’t talked about adoption.”

“I don’t want to talk about that now.” she quickly replied. “I can barely wrap my mind around the fact that I am…” She took a deep breath and then soldiered through like the stubborn person she was. “Around the fact that I am pregnant.”

He rewarded her courage with another kiss on the top of her head.

“Whatever you need, I’ll get you.” he promised. “I just… I need to know what you need, sweetheart.”

“I do not know.” she confessed. “Time.”

“Time.” he repeated. “Well… If you’re sure you don’t want an abortion, we’ve got plenty of that.”

“I am sure.” she whispered. “I am not sure of what we will do with a child but I am sure I do not want to lose it like that.”

“Okay.” he granted. “Sleep now, sweetheart.”

He knew it wouldn’t be that easy – sleep never came readily to them – but she snuggled closer to his side and it was… enough.

More than enough.

They could this, he mused, he knew they could.  

He just wished she would realize it too.

[spoookiepie]

The problem is, the novelty of the live action remake is to see fantastical things, previously only seen in animation, to life. (I still don’t think that’s enough basis to warrant so many remakes but I at least understand it)

It’s to see what a beast and enchanted castle look like as real things, or witches with magical powers, or humans who can talk with animals.

Lion King tho? It’s... just animals. Doing fairly realistic animal movements (and you can bet your butt, the second they don’t, it’s gonna take a nosedive into the uncanny) So like, the novelty of ‘I wanna see that irl!’ wears off the second you realize it’s either a. boring and in no way an improvement to the original, or b. a weird dip into the uncanny valley and something you wish your eyes didn’t have to see anymore.

(And as this post implies, it’s an exercise in redundancy. It’s still technically an animated film lol, they just have rly good looking cg models)

On top of that, a problem more and more of these remakes are having, but is esp glaring with Lion King is;

What’s the Point?

What is Disney bringing to the table that’s gonna make this remake stand out from the original? The novelty of real life animals is already kinda out.

Maleficent (flawed as it is) benefited from being a new take of the character but like... don’t DO that to Lion King?? Don’t you dare touch its story???? That story is good I don’t want an edgy ‘but what if-?’ retelling, or a dumb amount dedicated to trying to fix plot holes no one really cared about to begin with

Jungle book had the benefit of showing a live person interacting with real (or at least stunningly lifelike cg) animals. But, it was also bringing back a much older Disney film and making it relevant again.

But LK is less that 30 years old, and it’s possibly one of the most well known of the animated films. Disney still makes BANK on it. (They fuckingb made it one of the themed areas in their newest resort, and shows for the broadway version still make the rounds every couple years.) Its still super relevant to all of us, and this remake is gonna be held to high scrutiny in comparison. (I think Disney is also possibly biting itself in the ass by planning all these remakes of the 90’s films, since.. you know, those were the childhood bread and butter for all of the 90’s babies)

Much like their live action Beauty and the Beast, I don’t want them to change the story since it’s so good buuuuuut... not changing the story also makes it... kinda redundant and pointless. Beauty and the Beast, again, at least had the advantage of showing what a beast and talking furniture would look like irl. (Just with they weren’t nightmarish cgi monsters half the time. Disney missed an opportunity to do some cool puppets is all I’m saying)

And like... it looks like the movie will have a stellar cast, I can give it that. And maybe good music? are they gonna keep the songs in? I certainly don’t NOT want them (LK soundtrack is a 10/10) but also.... those live action lions singing and dancing is... also not incredibly appealing...

So ye

What’s the point?

What is even the POINT of a live action Lion King?

Disney: We’re gonna make a live action remake of the Lion King!

Me: How you gonna incorporate live animals?

Disney: We’ll animate them!

Me:

[haplesshuman]

Rebel Girls: The Rant

I know, I should’ve done this on International Women’s Day, but I never thought of it at the time. I was going to combine this with the review of The Exiles, but when writing the review, I realised this is something that needs an entry of its own, and if that means delaying the Breaking Dawn review a week, then so be it. I need the extra time to locate my rubber gloves anyway.

That’s not the point. Recently, I was on Facebook and a video posted by Rebel Girls. They did an experiment (I say this whilst resisting the temptation to put single quote marks round the word) in which they removed all books from three shelves which had no male characters, no female characters, female characters that don’t speak and princesses. Then they talked about their non-fiction book, about real-life women who took their destiny in their own hands, saying that this might fix the problem!

Uh... Right. This is not the first time I’ve seen a study get used to sell a product (looking at you, Persil), but this one pisses me off more than most. I wanted to comment on the video on Facebook, but it would’ve been one in a sea of comments, and to be frankly honest, what I have to say about this is too long for your average Facebook post. So that’s why I’m posting my right to reply here, on Too Long; Didn’t Read. 

I’m going to start with the flawed solution. To basically summarise this video in one sentence, it’d be, “We think there are no books about girls who don’t have to be rescued by a man, so we wrote this non-fiction book about women who didn’t need to be rescued by a man!”

...Wait a second. You’ve found a gap in the market, and you’re not filling it? Sure, writing a book about real women who have overcome real problems is one thing, but that’s not filling the gap you’ve found. When you find a gap in the market, you freaking do something about it, you don’t leave the gap for someone else to fill.

By the way, if that’s a call to authors everywhere to do this, I’m answering that call.

Secondly, the experiment itself. The mum and the girl in the video just pick the books off the shelves. You just can’t do that without actually looking at the content - with the exception of the princesses one. These were three bookshelves of fairly narrow books. No way could they have just picked them off the shelves, which makes me wonder if the experiment was rigged. 

Shocking, I think that’s my first Tinfoil Hat moment. 

Then there’s the princess one. There’s a lot of hate aimed at fictional princesses, and I can understand why, because of the stereotype that they’re just passive characters waiting for their prince to come. However, removing all books about princesses is a bad case of throwing the baby out of the bathwater. 

First of all, there’s the Enchanted Forest Chronicles, which I really like. The main character is someone who ran away when she learnt she was going to be married to a man she loathed, learnt fencing, magic, Latin and cookery against the wishes of her parents, defended herself against magical creatures and wizards alike, and with the help of people she’d befriended along the way, foiled an evil plot. 

She is also a princess. 

In that experiment, Dragonsbane and Dragonsearch would’ve been removed from the shelves just because the main character, Cimorene, happened to be a princess. 

Then there’s The Princess Diaries. For all I dislike about them, Mia is not the kind of princess who is waiting for a prince. Yeah, she whines about not having a boyfriend, but she’s also a teenage girl. It’s not her fault she’s a princess, she’d give anything to be normal and can’t give up being a princess because her overbearing grandmother decided to tell the press that she was a princess.

In that experiment, The Princess Diaries and its nine sequels would be removed. Just because Mia’s a princess.

Then there’s one other thing. I don’t know if it’s still the case, but I have heard it’s tricky to get boys to read (a point I shall return to). In my early days reviewing children's and YA fiction, I reviewed Gold of the Gods by Bear Grylls, a book I still dislike. Yet when I look on Amazon, most of the reviews are by parents or grandparents who bought it for their son/grandson, and found that it got them into reading.

The lone female character, Christina (who is the only character I actually liked) was a damsel in distress and nearly had her earrings stolen, and when she protests, her brother is asked he minds her earrings being borrowed. She is treated with nothing but contempt by the main character (who I marked down as a Marty Stu).

That book, by the rules of the experiment, would’ve stayed on the shelf. Because Christina speaks, and she’s not a princess.

Thank you, Jean-Luc.

We have now got to the point where I reference Dragons’ Den. In the recent series, a woman came in with some dolls that fell deep into the Uncanny Valley and came with stories about the dolls’ characters. The stories were empowering women stories, of course. Anyway, she said she did this because she couldn’t find toys for her daughter that weren’t stereotypical girly toys. I figured she wasn’t looking hard enough.

And when I see Rebel Girls saying they had never read any books that had female characters not having to be helped by a guy, I say they might not have looked hard enough either. There are tons of books out there with strong female characters. The Chalet School books for one. Jaqeuline Wilson’s books frequently feature female characters who take matters into their own hands. The Harry Potter books have some very competent witches.The Famous Five are two boys, two girls and a dog. There’s also the Shirley Holmes books (yeah, they were books long before the awesome TV show came out). Then there’s The Hunger Games. God I would not mess with Katniss Everdeen. And I don’t think I’ve even scratched the surface there.

Then there’s, as I’ve mentioned above, the troubles with getting boys to read. The book Rebel Girls are trying to sell is aimed at girls. Perhaps it should be aimed at boys, too? They might learn something useful, too. Lessons about important women shouldn’t be limited to girls, you know.

Last of all: “If you see it, you can be it.”, and the mention that children’s media - be it books, cartoons or TV - is dominated by men. I disagree. There are plenty of TV shows, cartoons and books with female protagonists. You just have to look. There’s the books I’ve already listed. There’s a whole load of kids’ TV shows with female protagonists. With cartoons, it’s a bit harder, but ever heard of Mona the Vampire? In fact, I can think of a lot of 90s TV shows where the protagonists are female. And I’m pretty sure it’s still the case now (Wolfblood, anyone?). You just have to look. 

OK, that was a long one! As you can tell, a few buttons were pressed there. Before I go, I’m just going to explain how things are going to be for the next few weeks.

You may remember that whilst I explained why I wasn’t going to review The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, I said this:

“The copy I got at a charity shop only just fits in my quarantine box.” before vowing to explain why I had a copy of Breaking Dawn in the first place. Well, now the time has come. 

I got the copy of Breaking Dawn for ease of actually reviewing. The other books I’ve been reading at bookstores (kindly don’t shoot me), but Breaking Dawn is so much of a brick that I thought it’d take too long if I did that. And Breaking Dawn is handily split into three books (thank you, Stephenie Meyer, sorry I’ve been spelling your name wrong), so I decided that each book will get its own review. I also have a copy of The Princess Diaries: Royal Disaster (or Take Two depending on where you’re looking). This means I have a provisional schedule for the next seven weeks. It goes as thus:

25th March: Breaking Dawn, Book 1

1st April: The Princess Diaries: Royal Disaster/Take Two

8th April: Breaking Dawn, Book 2

15th April: Breaking Dawn, Book 3

22nd April: Why I Won’t Review The Host

29th April: Eragon

This is still very much a provisional schedule, as I’m waiting on a reservation at my local library, and am hunting down a copy of Caddy Ever After. 

See you next week.

[will-you-be-my-savior]

asks for 08/22/18

anonymous asked:

Um, hi. I think that one of my roommates ended up here yesterday. He seemed kind of insulted when we asked him what happened. Figured I should borrow this thing to explain some stuff. That guy, he kind of clings to the belief of being human for his own mental health's sake. He got bullied badly as a kid for that unnerving feeling his species causes in humans and whatever I am. It's not that he's dumb, it's just his mind is working so hard to protect itself from a breakdown. -Mayhem Tom

Tord: …

Tom: i told you he wasn’t stupid.

Matt: … is he okay?

(tord feels like an idiot. he judged him more harshly because they were counterparts but now he regrets that.)

anonymous asked:

He probably would be okay now if his parents weren't jerks that didn't believe in therapy, especially after they had him exorcised when he wasn't even possessed. Not his fault his species makes humans uneasy and the kids in his class broke his arm and leg. Just glad he had a friend in that class that wasn't bothered by that uncanny valley feel and protected him until he got over how his species normally doesn't fight. He'd be a lot worse if he hadn't. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: i had a feeling he’d been through a lot…

Tord: … shit…

Matt: who was the friend?

(tord seriously regrets the way he acted last night.)

anonymous asked:

Well, Edd was that friend, they've stuck by each other since primary school. No one really wanted to be friends with either of them. They're still best friends today, and I'm kind of surprised cause Edd's laziness from being half sloth demon gets pretty annoying for me and Matt most of the time. Then again, Tord's probably done his best to stick with the only people that never tried to hurt him or always called him a monster for something he can't help. -Mayhem Tom

Tom and Matt: *twitch*

Tord: i suppose that makes sense. his counterpart was probably my best friend throughout most of my time in school as well.

(tom and matt are on edge, but otherwise fine)

anonymous asked:

Are those two okay? They seem kind of like the Tord here after he's had a panic attack. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: … we’ll… be fine.

Matt: it’s no big deal.

dudawakmax asked:

OK I heard that people where in the edge and I come as fast as I could. NO TALKING ABOUT THE GREEN DEVIL IN FRONT OF MY BABY BUNS!!!!

Tom: it’s okay duda, we’re fi-

Matt: DUDA! *squeeze* we haven’t seen you in a while!

anonymous asked:

Okay? I'll avoid mentioning his name for now on if it's an issue. Don't know what happened to put people on edge talking about him, but I won't ask. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: probably for the best…

dudawakmax asked:

Five tests in this week, I'm just kinda busy :P And NOPE! NO GREEN DEVIL SHIT NEAR MY BABY BUNS.

Matt: i thought i was a bat not a bun?

Tom: really duda, we’ll be fine.

dudawakmax asked:

You can be a vampire bun!

Matt: *giggles*

anonymous asked:

Wait, your Matt's a vampire? Huh, the one here just makes potions and glamours. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: … yeah he is, but he can do that too.

Tord: he once made himself look like pat just to fuck with the people in the cells… we watched the footage back later… it was terrifying.

Matt: my favorite thing to make are the potions that make your skin glow!

(he means actually glow, like a glow stick)

anonymous asked:

He mostly just sells his glamours to other creatures and beings to hide as humans. He does make a lot of potions for beauty and stuff though. - Mayhem Tom

Matt: i don’t like potions like that… it’s not real.

Tom: most supernatural creatures here just stay away from humans rather then go through the trouble of getting a glamour, unless they can shapeshifter like me or just look human enough like matt.

Tord: human’s don’t generally get told about the supernatural here. and if they do find out it had better be because someone told them of else… *neck snapping motion*

dudawakmax asked:

Wow wow wait. You turned yourself into Patty cake?

Matt: with a glamour, yeah.

anonymous asked:

We don't kill any humans that find out, we first see what they're planning. If it's dangerous, they lose several days worth of memories when witches specializing in memory wipes show up and just, make them forget all about the fact that 'monsters' live among humans. If they're beneficial, they can keep their memories. A lot of the monsters that think Tord is human don't mind him knowing. He just wants to learn and stop the ones that hurt others. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: i think the main reason they don’t wipe memories here is because they tend to overestimate rather then underestimate those who find out… if they found out once what’s to stop them from finding out again?

Tom: if a person is perceptive they stay perceptive no matter how many times they have their memory wiped.

dudawakmax asked:

Cool! Can the glamour change your height too? Like, turning me into mister eyebrows?

Matt: a glamour is more an illusion then a transformation… so yes it does change how tall you LOOK.

anonymous asked:

We try to avoid killing cause it could draw unwanted attention. Especially since some of the more dangerous creatures like to move here and hunt instead of just buying cloned meat from Bing. - Mayhem Tom

Tom: we just have specific “people” who come and kill them just like any other human would. these “people” essentially don’t exist in modern society so any evidence the police found would just lead to dead ends.

Tord: when i’m in power we’re changing that…

Tom: well duh.

anonymous asked:

Take over the world? You guys are pretty different than everyone in my world. No world domination plans here. I think. Might need to triple check with the Tord here just to be safe. Though the worst anyone's found in his room is his gun stash and where he hides his hentai. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: if there was any other way my system would work i’d take it in a heart beat but they’re pretty reliant on having a single leadership with all the necessary resources available.

anonymous asked:

Well, good luck with that then. I better put this machine back before the others realize I have it and want to try talking to you too. - Mayhem Tom

Tord: thanks, i guess.

Matt: bye other tom!

spooncryptid asked:

Hewwo!!

Matt: come get your pets. * holds out his arms*

spooncryptid asked:

//happily jumps up into Matt’s arms// yay!!!

Matt begins to vigorously pet you.

spooncryptid asked:

//purrs and snuggles into Matt//

Matt is content.

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm, so what’s happening today?

Matt: remember mayhem from yesterday? Well his tom was talking to us for a bit. After that tom left to go pick up the parts he ordered and Tord went to go get us dinner.

spooncryptid asked:

There’s another Tommy too??

Matt: appears so. He was rather nice even.

spooncryptid asked:

Is there another Mattie??

Matt: yep! He said his Matt is magic but not a vampire.

spooncryptid asked:

That’s confusing, how am I supposed to keep track of two of everyone?

Matt: he just put mayhem in front of his name.

spooncryptid asked:

Well they certainly are a lot of mayhem!

Matt giggles. He liked that joke.

spooncryptid asked:

Dyou know what Tords getting for dinner?

Matt: nope. all he said was that it was some kind of Americanized German thing.

spooncryptid asked:

Huh, I wonder what it’ll bt

Matt: all the weird stuff he’s gotten for us has been good so far.

spooncryptid asked:

Tommy doesn’t like the food??

Matt: oh tom loves the food! He just doesn’t want to admit it!

spooncryptid asked:

Why not??

Matt: I dunno. He’s stubborn?

spooncryptid asked:

That doesn’t make sense

Matt: I think he thinks that if he admits that it’s good he’ll be losing or something.

spooncryptid asked:

Hed lose a game?? What would he lose???

Matt: I don’t know. Tom and Tord are always like that. Like they are always playing a game neither knows all the rules to.

spooncryptid asked:

That’s confusing, how do you win if there’s no rules?

Matt: i don’t know that either… they don’t make a whole lot of sense.

spooncryptid asked:

They sure don’t

Matt: nope.

Tord: *coming through the door* oh! hello cryptid.

spooncryptid asked:

Hi Tordie! What did ya get for dinner?

Tord: some strange Americanized form of schnitzel with a side of potatoes au gratin and green bean casserole.

Matt: sounds good.

spooncryptid asked:

Mm smells good

Tord: i’d hope so.

Matt: gimme!

Tom: *enters room* whatever…

spooncryptid asked:

Hi Tommy!!

Tom: hey cat freak.

(it is said with affection)

spooncryptid asked:

Are you ready for dinner?

Tom: i guess…

Tord: …

(tord is getting tired of this BS)

spooncryptid asked:

Cmon, can’t you smell how tasty it is!!

tom is glaring… tord is gonna break something.

spooncryptid asked:

What’s with you two??

tom doesn’t know who made the food and is being bitter. tord doesn’t wanna admit who made the food cause he’s a paranoid little shit.

spooncryptid asked:

Why does it matter who made the food????

tom hates eating things when he doesn’t know who’s touched it…

spooncryptid asked:

If Tord knows about that then what’s the big deal about telling him? Why is it better to cause tension??

he’s embarrassed…

(can you guess why)

spooncryptid asked:

I have an idea...

do you now?

spooncryptid asked:

That’s honestly kinda cute but st ill

tord is shocked. he thinks you might know. he’s questioning how that could even be possible.

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm, I’m hungry! Let’s eat!!

tord is enormously grateful. they all sit down to eat.

spooncryptid asked:

Food food!!

tom: puts a small plate with servings of the sides and two small pieces of breaded meat.

spooncryptid asked:

//purrs softly//

matt is okay now, all he hears is soft purring.

there seems to be a section that got deleted here. basically spooncryptid revealed that tord was the one making the food, tord got embarrassed, tom pulled him out of the room and started making out with him and matt had to cover his ears because he could hear them.

spooncryptid asked:

//is just a sleepy cat hat//

matt sits down against a wall and leans into it and tom and tord re-enter the room looking very disheveled.

spooncryptid asked:

//stops purring and jumps down//

Matt: aaawww.

Tord: what are you two doing?

spooncryptid asked:

Nothing.. //sits in the corner a bit nervous//

Tom: … *is very suspicious*

Tord: right…

spooncryptid asked:

... sorry....

Tom: what are you sorry for?

spooncryptid asked:

Uh... not thinking.. before I say stuff....

Tom: *sigh*

Tord: okay. *looks very pleased with himself*

spooncryptid asked:

Mmm.... I’ll try harder to not do that anymore....

Tord: it’s fine.

Tom: why are you acting like you just got fucked? i just kissed you.

Tord: because it was a nice kiss.

spooncryptid asked:

//curls up in the corner, again//

mat turned into a bat and curled up with you.

spooncryptid asked:

//cuddles Matt//

tom turns himself into a tiny monster and tord picks both of them and you up and carries you all to bedroom to all go to sleep together.

spooncryptid asked:

Mm, goodnight...

Tord: night…

Tom and Matt: *cooing*