#if that shit isnt okay to say to nonfictives then it isnt okay to say to fictives. its just classic homophobia with a few extra flourishes

[angel---eater]

man... im constantly wanting to talk about this one weird new flavour of homophobia that intersects with pluralphobia and the current Moral Panic about art on this site but i know for sure im gonna get dunked about it which is, yknow, the entire problem. but it effects our life and how we navigate social spaces in a massive way so it feels like its a thing that should be talked about in fictive spaces. because were people and not characters. im like almost brave enough but every time i go to type something i chicken out lol. but i also kinda wanna vent about it

[tianamarieg]

2/16/24

wow tumblr. reading all this old stuff makes me cringe. me in my 20s was riddled with insecurities but also a lot of "i'm not like other girls" vibes. but i do see someone who really wanted to be loved under all of that. i was sure id be single for life, but i've been in a relationship for over 9 years now. you really think you are sure of shit in your 20s. but in your 30s your realize you dont know anything and, you along with everyone else, are just going through life one day at a time hoping for the best.

im one year sober (from everything!) tomorrow. i got help and got my shit together and im happy about it but also realize anything can happen and i dont know what the future will bring me. just again, hoping i continue to make the healthier choices, and if i dont i remember quickly what it feels like to be in the dark and remember the tools i acquired to get back out of that funk.

in recovery they say you recover your inner child, or your true self. i feel that. i feel more like myself in high school, before i drank or used. i truly am an introvert. i like being alone and doing things alone, but i also realize the value of connection. its important to have relationships with other people. i am learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable and to socialize without the substances. it drains my social battery pretty quickly but i also accepted that this is okay, and its okay to leave the party as early as i need instead of forcing myself to sit through something that clearly isnt for me anymore.

i bake! for someone who wasnt a big fan of sweets, i've taken to baking pretty quickly. im also pretty good at it. who would have thought?

im also into yoga. i thought it was just stretching and boring but its so much more and i have barely scratched the surface of it.

i have been reading again but right now its mostly of the nonfiction variety. my book collection is increasing though which is nice.

i exercise a lot. i jog, walk, do strengthening videos, and the yoga as mentioned. i also eat healthy ish. i dont deprive myself but i do loosely calorie count and dont binge like i used to, but i still love food. i just learned to have a healthier relationship with food. i still dont eat meat but will try it if it looks good.

im still emotionally stunted but im trying to unlearn unhealthy behaviors and thought processes. i have a long way to go and know all this is pretty much a lifelong deal, i just hope again that things go as smoothly as they can with what i'm given at the time.

i still dont have children and still dont want any. i am not married and have no interest in it. but i have my long term partner and things are content. im okay with that in life today.

im 35 now and things arent perfect and they never will be. i cried in the dark yesterday because my anxiety and depression has been so bad, but i also remembered that none of it is permanent. my feelings will pass, and luckily i have healthy habits in place that keep me on track. vulnerability is still hard for me but im learning that its okay to not be okay, but also that its okay to be okay.

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

kh3, khux, recoded spoilers:

ramblings about unreality, the BoP, and the journal:

ngl i'm hella late to the party and i'm still not super familiar with what ideas and theories have been made regarding khux shit, unreality shit, etc. these are thoughts i had after rewatching recoded.

i know the maleficent/book scene isn't novel, but i wanna ramble about it anyway.

a question i had when listening to some khux talk: is it agreed that MoM made unreality? bc we know he hid there, right. idk how or since when, i'm guessing it's where he originally disappeared to.

But what's our understanding of that scene in the khux finale, where MoM's telling Darkness about the fictional world, the world he couldn't even conceive? Where neither light or darkness rules?

i've only watched that scene a few times, and i'm not clear on whether MoM's talking about the fictional world as if it already exists, or something he's envisioning.

pff i can't even organize my thoughts lmao. So, my guess at this point is that MoM was envisioning/imagining this world where neither light or darkness rules (and where voices and eyes can't reach but idk what dictates THAT particular rule). By simply imagining/thinking of it, i don't think it resulted in that world becoming real. Cause i thought he said something about that idea having to be "realized", but rewatching that specific scene, he doesn’t. If anyone knows for sure if he ever mentioned something like this i’d appreciate confirmation. [EDIT: MoM does specify putting your imagining into realization in the fan translation, which is more direct/literal and often times more accurate than the official localization…🤷🏽‍♀️]

But—IF it's not enough to /just/ think of it, and you do have to literally put it into realization—. My interpretation of what that means is, you know, putting the idea into action. /Making/ it real. Manifesting it. And that can happen any number of ways. Namely, in this case, putting it on paper. In the Book.

THE BOOK, UGH. The recoded scene. I know it kinda basically confirms that the book can create worlds but again i wanna scream about it a little.

But first. So far, i have that idea. Now as for the actual sequence of events, mmm. My brain goes all over the place for that one. Bc before rewatching those scenes, the question took form of "what came first? the chicken or the egg?" bc an idea i had heard was that Verum Rex, the game, could be a documentation of what's going on in unreality. And i've been flip flopping on that.

for me it would depend on whether unreality as we see it was spawned (that's the word i use) as soon as MoM originally thought of it, and wrote it down. Bc then Verum Rex could be made in the image of that world. On the other hand, if Verum Rex is like, 'additional' realization of the /idea/, then that would mean the game came before (most/some of) the world. But i think the first option is more likely.

So MoM conceived the world --> MoM wrote about it in the Book --> the world became real --> SOMEONE made the world into a game

and that gets into my thoughts about who tf has access to unreality, at least to the extent that they can see into it and observe it, and how. and obv, square enix (in kh) made the game. and square enix is literally "the powers that be" so. kinda an obvious option. but anyway.

i covered my main points ig. so time to scream about how tf this even could happen and why. not that i have any actual answers bc how tf could a book make worlds.

recoded. GOD, RECODED. If i didn't already ramble about HOW the Book could make worlds then i'm about to.

idek where to start lmao. Maleficent. she brings up the book, after she and pete have been rescued/released from the datascape.

(And what IS the datascape exactly? WHAT does it encompass? is the datascape in recoded strictly the data made from the journal? like, could there be multiple datascapes based on different source materials, or based in different devices/computers? ????)

“Yes, considering legend has it the book can conjure, making an entire world filled with beings and powers that have yet to exist.”

So that's just there. We've seen this. So this is assuming we can take the legend as (probable) fact. I'm assuming the Book really /can/ make worlds.

this next part about fairy tales i'm including to like cover my bases and see if anyone has thoughts about it bc i have not thought too much about the concept of fairy tales in kh and what it could mean:

“Really? A book that can just make up a world? I don't know. That sounds like nothin' more than fluffy, pink, kids' fairy tale stuff. It just sounds too good to be true"

“Ah, but who’s to say a fairytale’s not true?”

So that's that about fairy tales. (omg cinderella, dreams coming true, true love's kiss, sleeping beauty, WHHHHH--)

“And I ask you, how does that differ from this world they call the ‘date escape’?”

THIS BITCH. (the quote not maleficent lol) I know that early theories and probably current one's still, suggested unreality/quadratum/other-shibuya were data worlds, or something akin to them. and i mean, yeah, i wondered too, bc of the glitchy stuff with sora’s heart station in the secret episode.

but also, like. this whole world manifested "outside" of kh's reality. like, is it even possible that it COULD be /just/ data? As in, could data just exist on it's own like that? (or is there more? if the part of unreality we see /is/ data, is it only the data aspect of a bigger whole? i've seen a theory talk about this, is why i even bring it up)

If what we see of unreality so far is data, like, does that data exist within something? does it /need/ to?

and if unreality is data, like. i feel like it'd have to be different than that data worlds we see in kh. pure guesswork, but i feel like it's /more/ than just data worlds. /Bigger/.

"how does [world created by the BoP] differ from [datascape of the journal]?" thats the thing, too. essentially, what's the difference between the Book, and the journal.

sHEESH i just rambled in my notes. it's a bunch of guesswork, and idk if i should even put it here. gimme a sec.

okay well might as well address this while i’m here. my guess is that there IS no difference. there is no difference between the BoP and fucking jiminy’s journal, ability wise. We know the BoP doesn’t actually predict the future, it was simply written in the past after the future had taken place.

inherently, there’s no difference.

the difference between their CONTENTS however. one accounts the future (that has already happened, this is kinda important imo). the other records the past.

two things they both share. 1) the events in both books already happened 2) we saw them happen. in reality.

just like the past is fixed and unchangeable, so is the future (bc it’s already happened). We know this.

so what ISNT fixed and unchangeable? if literally all of time IS?

fiction.

okay, well, duh.

this is where my ideas become pure assumptions.

my guess is that like i said, neither of these books holds any special power over the other. and if my next guess is right, then neither of these books holds any special power over literally any other book (in kh).

this has no bearing on my main points above. (did MoM not discover unreality, did he THINK of it? i think he did. did MoM write his idea in the BoP? i think he did. did writing it down result in the idea manifesting as a world? i think it did.)

the idea is that ANY book [any MEDIUM, for that matter (books, shows, movies, games)] can create worlds. THIS world (or these, that we’ve seen in the secret ending and secret episode) is just the only one we’ve been shown.

i could not tell you how. and i could not tell you why. the only guess i currently have is that fictional ideas (given a medium) create worlds bc that’s Just How Things Work in kh. like, it’s literally just the laws of physics of kh.

For SOME fucking reason, fictional worlds given a medium spawn real worlds, outside of kh. hence, unreality. (bc they’re outside of kh reality, and bc they’re Not Real. fictional)

What about the BoP and the journal then? The shit in there doesn’t manifest as a separate world because it has already manifested in reality. That’s why i was saying it was important that the future already happened. bc if you wrote about a hypothetical future, not simply recorded the future as witnessed through your time traveling eyeball, then that would therefore be fiction. even if it’s based on the real world, this hypothetical future would not consist of real world events. An AU, basically. like real world=canon, hypothetical future=noncanon (fanfiction oop) (nonfiction vs fiction)

so if you wrote your fake future shit, it would hypothetically spawn as a world in unreality. IF the idea of the creation of worlds through fictional ideas given a medium pans out lmao.

On the other hand, the power to create worlds really could be special to the BoP or MoM himself. but the reason i don’t assume that in the first place is due to his wording in his khux scene.

“If you imagine hard enough, you can make anything a reality.” (maybe it’s just phrasing. maybe only he has the power and he’s just not specifying it but 🤷🏽‍♀️)

this brings me to Pete in kh2 LMAO LEGIT i just remembered that one theory video about how the fuck pete manifested a whole ass time capsule world by WISHING for it. if all it takes is JUST IMAGINING (in the case of fictional ideas) and WISHING (in the case of real world events), that would throw this whole post out the window lmao.

if imagining ISNT enough, and you DO have to go through the step of /realizing/ your idea, by giving it a MEDIUM, then.

and the reason i stick so much to the concept of giving things MEDIUMS is bc of khux. and this is all based on the english versions of the game.

at this point i’m not even connecting random dots, i’m scribbling all over a blank page but. it reminded me of time travel. to time travel, you leave your body behind, resulting in just a heart. to restore the body, the physical form, you need two things at your destination. Someone with memories of you, and a medium.

a mental/non-physical element, and a physical one.

memories could equate to imagining. a medium to restore the physical form could equate to a medium through which to express a fictional idea. and these two things combined results in a physical manifestation. Except one process restores real people in reality, and the other process creates people/places in unreality. (bc worlds don’t time travel or do they oh god)

the likely thing is that these two things aren’t related at all, esp since i’m working with the assumption that the second process even exists.

there’s also this random google definition of the word medium as it relates to computers: “a particular form of storage for digitized information, such as magnetic tape or discs” 🤷🏽‍♀️

another random idea/question regarding the process by which we’ve seen mediums result in worlds. the journal was converted into data with mickeys fucking macbook computer/machine. and that resulted in the worlds and people written about in the journal being recreated as data, hence data worlds and data characters. (and real people can enter data too without necessarily being data themselves but that’s a random note)

would the writings in the BoP require a similar process? or any other book/medium for the matter? obviously it wouldn’t be the exact same process or it’d just result in a data world, and a fictional data world would just be a video game at that point. is writing it at all the process? i mean i already assumed it is but just thinking.

i thought maybe Verum Rex could have been the process for this world specifically. The video game could be the writing converted into data but i don’t think the time aligns. Like, Verum Rex is like the best selling game right now. and MoM conceived and potentially wrote the idea down back in the age of fairy tales. I don’t know what time shenanigans could explain that time gap.

imo the wildest part of this whole thing is just the assumption that writing down a fictional idea results in the creation of a whole ass world in a whole different plane of existence lmao. like i said, i could not guess as to why this would be the case, only that it could just be part of the physics in kh world. Action, reaction. Conception, manifestation.

if anything, this whole concept of ideas becoming worlds would just be a fourth wall thing. get an idea, put it on paper, make worlds. ofc everyone has recognized the meta-ness of all this lmao i’m here trying to rationalize it in-game.

i had more quotes i didn’t add lol, in regards to the similarities between the BoP and the journal. it’s kinda additional stuff about why i do or don’t assume the things i do. (the first maleficent quote is the biggest tho for me)

“Don’t you think it might just be worth our while to search for a connection? Perhaps there’s a link of some sort between that so-called journal of theirs and the Book of Prophecies.”

(“so-called” why this phrasing? is it that maleficent suspects the journal is more than it seems? is it just the eng dialogue or just maleficent’s speech pattern?)

at this point i’m mostly gonna copy/paste my ramblings, so it’s gonna be messier:

So clearly they’re telling us to LOOK for the connections between the journal and the book. is it for proof that the book of prophecies CAN make worlds?

and also, does it make worlds OUTSIDE of kh BECAUSE you can’t change fate? it depends on the power of the book, and what gives it that power. (if it’s a power exclusive to the BoP after all)

lmao admittedly, this can be encapsulated by stuff Spuuky said during one of his streams about how Jiminy’s journal is OP bc you could create literally anything by writing it down bc converting it into data would make it real, and able to directly affect and interact with the real world. And at that point i was like bruh it’s not the journal it’s the machine but??? LMAO ARE THEY SO DIFFERENT AFTER ALL, i hate this game

and, another random question, does stuff from unreality manifest in kh? and if it does, does it do it on its own or would someone in kh need to access unreality and carry the ideas back over to kh? i already asked this earlier, and my end assumption for now was that verum rex did NOT just leak into kh by accident, someone brought the idea over. and the reason i don’t think it was MoM is because i’m guessing MoM doesn’t work at square enix in kh (nomura is MoM theories incoming lol). And MoM is hiding in unreality (tho he seems to have been coming back to kh every so often when he sees fit, such as his intervention with xehanort).

imma leave this for now, my thumbs are RIP

[sortagaysortahigh]

okay, thank you so much for answering. I thought so, but I wanted to make sure. then another question (sorry for bothering you so much), does this apply to every type of au that stems from harmful realities? or where do we draw the line?

Okay so heres my thing-im assuming you mean like Mob Aus or like Drug lord type AUs. Most of these AUs are usually based on works of fiction such as movies, tv shows, books etc. In my opinion if you’re writing an AU like the two above or even a detective AU based on a book or a tv show thats one thing but going out of your way to base an AU based on an actual nonfictional even that was very detrimental to a large or small population of people isn’t okay.

Like when I was in the marvel fandom i saw an AU about someone being some big bad drug lord but it was based around the events of escobar’s life and they included grusome details about actual events that took place in central America while literally using the same exact place, names, etc. Like that’s not okay because theres no fiction behind something like that. If you wanna base an AU around what Queen of the South or Narcos portrays thats one thing bc these are works of fiction loosely based around actual aspects of being a Cartel Leader.

But something like a police AU where youd want to write it in terms of like good cops vs bad cops and bringing in all of these very real and legitimate issues with the police system is insensitive and not appropriate. In my opinion you can’t write a police AU because theres nothing you Can romanticize about the police, at all. The cops arent something like the cartel or mafia that are family based organized crime organizations.

No theyre people who choose to join the police force wnd abuse their power while benefiting off of a system of oppression and systematic racism while also enforcing this system. People try to do the “hes a good cop” narrative wven in movies and shit but even then a lot of people don’t like seeing that shit because youre literally romanticizing a system of blatant oppression. Not to mention the “bl*e lives matter” movement where actual cops...people who wentnto s police academy for like eight fucking weeks are victimizing themselves because theyre upset that people say shit lile acab or fuck 12 when these people are literally killing innocent and unarmed people-NOT TO MENTION KIDS-for no reason. NONE.

This isnt like the Mafia or Cartel where there are real and legitimate reasons and thought processes that go into who they kill snd what type of business they conduct.

These are people who voluntarily joined the police force because they wanted some sense of power and wanted to “instill justice”!that are killing innocent people willy nilly because they feel “threatened” by a hair brush, by a hoodie, by a phone, by reaching into a glove department, by a “counterfeit” $20 bill, by someone pulling a fight apart. BY A FUCKING CHILD.

[theav0cadobaby]

Podcast Recs cause I'm listening to too many of them. I listened to most of these in a month.

WOLF 359:

I literally couldn't recommend this podcast enough it's a ride of excitement and stress; twists and turns that is a rollercoaster of an experience. Basically it's about this crew of three plus a friendly AI orbiting the dwarf star Wolf 359, it seems like a fun comedy until shit gets real.

This podcast has frequent stressful situations, a lot of violence, and a lot of near death experiences. It's hard to tag everything.

WE FIX SPACE JUNK:

This podcast so far is really interesting in world building and characters. It's about these two mechanics held in debt by this intergalactic corporation that go around and fix space junk.

This podcast has violence, body horror in one episode, and alien plagues.

KING FALLS AM:

This is kinda like a mix of Gravity Falls and Welcome to Night Vale. The show is told completely through radio broadcasts of the Sammy and Ben show. Though mysterious things (more mysterious than all of the other paranormal shenanigans) start happening and it's just... Great. All of the characters are wonderful and honestly hilarious, I really recommend this one it's sooooo good.

There are depictions of Gaslighting, violence, alien abductions, intense racism from one character though it's very clear that that character is a bad person and it is comedic, homophobia in later episodes, violence against sugar gliders specifically (no I'm not kidding), and one murderous elf on the shelf.

THE INFINITE NOW:

I honestly don't know what the hell goes on in this podcast but like it's pretty cool time stuff so like yeah. Its two hours tops to get through it.

This story is a bit trippy and I honestly barely remember it so I don't have much in the way of trigger warnings

JANUS DESCENDING:

This podcast is good technically I'd say but it's kinda thick if that makes sense. It feels like a chore to watch cause I don't care that much for the characters and they don't talk like normal people which is annoying. But it's still something I think is good. It's about these two scientists going to an alien planet and getting their shit fucked up thoroughly. It's genuinely terrifying at times.

There are trigger warnings in the show notes but this podcast has a lot body horror, violence, and is kinda fucked up sometimes.

TIDES:

Honestly this podcast is the next big thing in my opinion. I really liked the first season it's so interesting and it's like Janus Descending but a lot cooler and more interesting and funny. I'm really looking forward to it's next season! Basically this Xenobiologist (space animal scientist) is stranded on alien planet with intense tidal activity and the podcast is a mix of her complaining about her co-workers, surviving, and talking about the ecosystem. It's super interesting.

This podcast is kinda icky but I love it. There are depictions of small spaces and people who don't like water might not like this podcast.

EOS 10:

This is one of the big ones. It's about doctors, a cook, and an alleged space terrorist on this space station. It's really funny and I love the characters to death. The third season got a bit tricky though cause they kinda had to retcon a character out of the story cause they apparently fired his voice actor. And it gets like.... Super confusing. But still please watch it it's so good.

This story deals with alcoholism and drug addiction, along with violence, terrorism, grief, sexual interactions (though these are brief.) And medical stuff in general.

STAR TRIPPER!!!:

It's like We Fix Space Junk but 100x more positive (not saying that WFSJ is inferior, that's not true at all) and honestly it's like so sweet to watch. Things can get a bit unclear but that's okay. Also apparently the main character is nonbinary so that's great. It's about this fellow Feston who decides "fuck it" and fucks off away from their office job and goes to explore the universe with their ship (who I love btw, she's really nice)

There are occasional moments of violence and implications of sexual situations but overall it's pretty safe I think.

THE PENUMBRA PODCAST:

I haven't listened to the other storyline yet but basically it's about this private detective on mars. It's really gay like... REALLY GAY. This is the epitome of the "podcasts are really gay" posts. This podcast is what they're talking about. Aside from that is has a really interesting plot, stellar voice acting and great characters!

This podcast has depictions of violence, body horror at some point, guns (laser guns though) and abuse (there is a warning before those episodes however.

WELCOME TO NIGHTVALE

This is a genre defining podcast. All of the podcasts I just listed proably wouldn't exist without this and it's actually so good. It's fucking trippy, and it's so much fun. You can tell the creators put so much love and thought into the podcast and it's just amazing. Basically it's a radio show about this incredibly weird town. And if I have to explain it to you, that means you need to listen to it.

This podcast is very existential, and since it's just so weird and all over the place in what's weird it's hard to really tag anything, I apologise, plus it's been a while since I've listened to it.

THE ADVENTURE ZONE:

This podcast is so fucking good, you've probably already heard of it, and definitely of the producers, the McElroy family. It's these three brothers and their dad playing DnD (initially) together and I can't even describe it. But it literally made me cry so hard that I got a sinus infection.

There are depictions of violence, torture during the suffering game arc, there's an instance of bury your gays which I'm not gonna elaborate on cause of spoilers but don't worry about it. And sometimes some innuendos and sexual stuff ("hey thug what's your name I'm about to tentacle your dick" is an iconic line and a good example of that)

UNDER PRESSURE:

This podcast is about a philosophy student going to live in a underwater station and it's a lot of fun and the atmosphere of wet and uncomfortable is really excellently communicated. It's another really diverse podcast (which seems to be a trend with Procyon podcasts)

This podcast is not for people who like small spaces and deep ocean.

THE STRANGE CASE OF STARSHIP IRIS:

Maybe I'm just stupid or this one's hard to keep up on. Nevertheless I really liked the characters and it's just really fun. It's about this crew of ragtag smugglers trying to find out what's up with the former ship of their new crewmate. Featuring a lot of diversity (This is a Procyon podcast) and good voice acting.

BEAR BROOK

This is actually a true crime / nonfiction podcast about the Bear Brook murders. It's rather gory and disgusting at times but really interesting.

This podcast is not for the faint of heart though, it is a true crime podcast, and it does talk about the horrible things that a serial killer can do.

THE BRIGHT SESSIONS:

Basically therapy sessions for those with abnormal abilities. It's really good and the characters are actually so amazing. This podcast does a lot of interesting stuff that really interests me. I haven't finished it but I'm currently pretty far in. I think this podcast has the potential to actually help people with their problems.

This podcast has depictions of gaslighting, manipulation, panic attacks, mentions of torture and isolation, attempted kidnapping, actual kidnappings, depictions of war (this has trigger warnings though), and violence

TIME:BOMBS:

I'm actually sad that this is just a three part series. It's so much fun, and so good. It's by the same people who made Wolf 359 and it follows a bomb squad on New Year's Eve. Highly recommend it cause it's a really quick listen.

This podcast has bombs.

LORE:

This podcast deals with true crime and supernatural stuff and is presented in the classic podcast way. It's also really triggering cause of the true crime aspect but I seriously recommend this. It's genuinely really informative.

This podcast like Bear Brook is not for the faint of heart.

MYTHS AND LEGENDS:

This is a really interesting take on various legends it's a mix of storytelling in a very nonfictional sense that slips into dialogue that's rather interesting. I haven't listened to a lot of the episodes but it's good.

This podcast does discuss myths that were a product of their times so there are depictions and mentions of misogyny, rape and violence, even if I haven't listened to all of it.

MYTHUNDERSTOOD:

Has that same kinda switches in storytelling as Myths and Legends but a lot less coordinated and a lot funnier. Its a lot of fun to listen to the podcast and the hosts are really funny.

These also have the same tw as the podcast before this.

ALICE ISNT DEAD:

This is by one of the co-creators of WTNV it's about a trucker trying to find her lost wife. Ive only listened to the first part but it's really good and I highly recommend it. It's actually like amazing and really captivating. Also terrifying.

This podcast has depictions of intense violence, existentialism, and body horror. And probably more I haven't even finished it.

I'm sorry if I didn't include something in the trigger warnings about these podcasts, but I hope it helps. I've been listening to a lot of them and it's so much fun!